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#i was only 22 when i started writing it and it is very much a product of my age at the time
goodsprings · 4 months
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my old benny/eli fic has a shocking amount of hits and it’s been getting lots of kudos lately and i’m touched people are still enjoying it but the thing for me is i sorta kinda do not like that fic anymore and am a teensy bit embarrassed at a lot of the writing in it. so it goes i suppose 🎉
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firendgold · 1 year
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If you're still doing the choose violence ask game: 2 (👀), 9, 10, 22 ?
I got such a rush from finally answering the first ask that I'm doing this for as long as people send me questions. So here we go again!
2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
anon, I'm at work. I'm seeing this at work. :'D
Okay, serious face. Albus Dumbledore is probably my fave if I have to choose between him and Harry on this blog. I just have to figure out why he would never...
Bottom. Albus would never, I'm sorry. He won't. He can't. Like, maybe when he was having his whirlwind summer romance with Gellert, he bottomed every single time they fucked because he was so in love and this was his equal and his partner and so what if he was a little rough and distant sometimes in the bedroom, and always wanted to top and tug his hair and hiss out orders? This was The Man The Universe Had Crafted For Him, and he would absolutely bottom for him every time... and then the summer of 1899 ends. And Ariana dies. And Aberforth breaks Albus' nose. And Gellert fucks off to go be a fascist.
And Albus, alone and heartbroken, resolves to never trust someone that completely again, never love someone that same way, and never let anyone get into a position of power over him where they might be able to use his knowledge and talents for ill. That means physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically... carnally. So he has sex with plenty of other people, and even falls in love with a few of them, but he is in control at all times. He never bottoms again.
That's all I've got for that one.
9. worst part of canon
So the first answer that came to mind is posted here, but for fairness' sake I'll try to come up with another worst thing. (That's not related to ships, because I'm trying really hard not to be THAT violent on the violence ask game.)
I think... that if That Woman was going to introduce international schools, students and characters in the middle book of the series, she should have done more with them than having them vanish after Goblet of Fire, only to come back for either fake romantic tension and one line of exposition about the Hitler allegory Dark Lord of the Before-Times (Krum, Deathly Hallows) or to be married off to a Weasley for an aesop of It's Not About His Looks Now That They're Jacked Up (Fleur, Half-Blood Prince). I'm not saying Fleur and Viktor HAD to be best buddies forever with Harry, but it is weird that they have this unique bond that no other young students have had with each other in hundreds of years, they even lost one of their fellow champions, Dumbledore gives this very moving speech about remaining connected and not letting darkness and prejudice sever new ties, and then... nothing. No side adventures in France or wherever Durmstrang is, no communication from either side, nothing.
Feels like a huge letdown in hindsight.
10. worst part of fanon
Oh, no. That's not fair. There's just so many.
If I had to consolidate what I currently don't like about the HP fandom/fanon into a few lines, I think I would say that I hate the pureblood/Dark side apologism. I do believe in nuance in characters. I do believe redemption and/or walking different paths is an important theme in Harry Potter, and I think it's fascinating to explore that with any and every character you can think of, even characters I may not personally like. But I really, really hate the way the fandom has taken that and twisted it into this idea that we were sold a lie at the start: that the British magical government was fine the way it was, and so was the society around it; that Dark magic Isn't All That Bad, Really, and there are actually Good and non-prejudiced things about a few rich bitches passing down their knowledge and secrets and slurs for generations within the Family, and keeping the Family "Pure" is cool actually, and none of this has any relation to real life ideas about miscegenation and classism and racism and eugenics, what are you talking about?
It's just so worrying. As a minority, when I see people on tumblr/twitter/AO3 gleefully agreeing that we need to eat the rich and fix society and eradicate all the horrid -isms and -archys ruining all our lives, then watch them turn around and write a 200k epic where Dumbledore was the evil one for locking the Horcrux books away and championing marginalized members of society, Hermione is just uppity for wanting to make necessary changes to the darker parts of magical society that That Woman was literally pointing out for a reason, and Tom Riddle is only bad because he took the good segregationist pureblood ideas and added murder to them... and when that fic gets thousands of comments agreeing with them full stop with no examination of any of that... it makes me anxious, at a minimum. The same thing is happening now with Grindelwald now that he's actually a figure on the screen and not just some dude mentioned a few times in the book series: same apologism, same justification of atrocities, same good-guy-blame-games, same blorbofication even.
On the one hand... fiction doesn't always directly reflect or affect reality. On the other... this unironic pro-pureblood meta is a pervasive concept that has popped up in thousands of fics written by thousands of fanfic writers. It's happened for years, and it keeps happening, and I see very few fans speaking out against it or even acknowledging it as a problem. So that makes me ask myself, who actually is willing and able to examine the injustices of our society and build a better imaginary society through the lens of HP fanfiction, and who's okay with the prejudice in the HP world as long as it's coming from the faves they're attracted to?
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
Happily, this is a harder question to answer because I've been finding so many like minds in the past 5 years who go feral over the same 20 HP scenes as I do. ^^ But give me a sec, I'll think of something.
...
Okay. Got it.
In order to answer this question, I have to go back to the first time I, young teenager, avid reader, recent reader of the HP series once book 5 was out, realized that Harry and Dumbledore had a much deeper relationship than just headmaster and student. The thing that made me latch on to them and project like crazy, basically.
It's the scene in Goblet of Fire chapter 36 where Harry has been rescued from Fake Moody and he's in Dumbledore's office with Dumbledore and Sirius. Dumbledore asks Harry to relay everything that happened to him once he touched the Portkey in the maze—and immediately Sirius tries to protect Harry from having to relive it now, so soon after it's happened. And then this scene happens.
Dumbledore stopped talking. He sat down opposite Harry, behind his desk. He was looking at Harry, who avoided his eyes. Dumbledore was going to question him. He was going to make Harry relive everything. “I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry,” said Dumbledore. “We can leave that till morning, can’t we, Dumbledore?” said Sirius harshly. He had put a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Let him have a sleep. Let him rest.” Harry felt a rush of gratitude toward Sirius, but Dumbledore took no notice of Sirius’s words. He leaned forward toward Harry. Very unwillingly, Harry raised his head and looked into those blue eyes. “If I thought I could help you,” Dumbledore said gently, “by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened.” The phoenix let out one soft, quavering note. It shivered in the air, and Harry felt as though a drop of hot liquid had slipped down his throat into his stomach, warming him, and strengthening him. He took a deep breath and began to tell them. As he spoke, visions of everything that had passed that night seemed to rise before his eyes; he saw the sparkling surface of the potion that had revived Voldemort; he saw the Death Eaters Apparating between the graves around them; he saw Cedric’s body, lying on the ground beside the cup. Once or twice, Sirius made a noise as though about to say something, his hand still tight on Harry’s shoulder, but Dumbledore raised his hand to stop him, and Harry was glad of this, because it was easier to keep going now he had started. It was even a relief; he felt almost as though something poisonous were being extracted from him. It was costing him every bit of determination he had to keep talking, yet he sensed that once he had finished, he would feel better.
This is one of the best scenes in the entire book, the entire series. It completely refutes the fanon Dumbledore who is often cold, cruel, inflexible and unrelenting in his quest for whatever the author wants him to be inflexible and cruel about at the time. It shows that Dumbledore, the real Albus Dumbledore, is one of the few people who understands what Harry needs and is able to provide it to him, even when others who also care for Harry would rather protect him or shield him from what he needs.
Kid me was particularly taken by how gentle Dumbledore is with Harry here. It made me look back and see how in some ways this scene, this closeness, is the culmination of all the times they've met and spoken before.
(You can imagine how painful it was reading Order of the Phoenix right after this.)
But yeah, that's probably one of my favorite scenes that other people ignore or haven't talked about/drawn/written about much. Which is ironic, because the scene right after that where Harry talks about Voldemort taking his blood and Dumbledore's eyes do the triumphant "lol Voldemort just fucked up" gleam is probably one of THE most talked-about scenes in the fandom (even though to this fucking day in 2023 people still don't realize what the gleam meant, when even That Woman has clarified what it meant in INTERVIEWS).
...And for me, safely at the end of the questions, that's all she wrote.
#fireandgoldposts#thanks for the ask!#choose violence ask game#Albus Dumbledore#not y'all making me put more gr*ndeld*re on this blog :') I forgive you tho#it's my own fault for having that headcanon. and to think I didn't think I'd be able to answer that question#I'm poking a real bear by finally talking about how much I hate the pureblood politics/pureblood supremacy/misunderstood bad guys trifecta#another thing that was perhaps interesting 20 years ago when people first started doing it but is now stale and infuriating#since it's now seen as fact and not fiction#the fiction of fiction even#I can't believe I didn't just write ''the worst part of fanon is every independent!Harry/manipulative!Dumbledore fanfic ever written#that's growth for me#oh god the worst part about no expanded roles for Fleur and Krum is that most fans only give Fleur an extended role#when they're SHIPPING HER WITH HARRY as some kind of ''ooh foreign beauty'' thing where he naturally resists her allure#and oh my god here comes the nausea again because flowerpot is another ship that's been done to death the very same way haphne/wolfstar has#and I love Krum/Hermione as much as the next person but fanon Krum is like NEVER allowed to move on from Hermione unless he's gay/bi#which is VERY rare to see. like please give me Harry/Krum fanfic recs if you have them#or Ron/Krum because that is so narratively satisfying#honorable mention for question 22 would probably go to the scene where Hermione and Ron try to get Harry to go to Dumbledore in year 5#after they find out what Umbridge is doing to him in detention and Harry just. CAN'T. properly explain why he doesn't want to go#but he's thinking about how Dumbledore has ''ignored him since last June'' and it's one of the few times we see him acknowledge that hurts#he mentions it several times throughout the book in his thoughts but that's one of the first times he refuses help from Albus#even though Albus would help him in a heartbeat oh my GOD it's been like 20 years since that book came out and I'm still feral about those#Goblet of Fire#Fleur Delacour#Viktor Krum#pureblood propaganda#and how much I am anti-that lmao#not fireandgold#oh my god having to reformat this every 3 hours because the bolds and italics won't stick is a fucking NIGHTMARE
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inkskinned · 8 months
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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gatorbites-imagines · 6 months
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Anakin flirting with m reader and ending making out? Pls
Anakin Skywalker x Male reader
Headcanons
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You are a non-jedi general during the Clone wars, cuz yall lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship.
This turned out a lot sweeter than i had planned ngl.
You were a general during the clone wars. You weren’t anything special, you couldn’t use the force, you weren’t from some rich or special background, your name didn’t carry any weight. The only gift you seemed to have, was your inability to be affected by the force. All in all, you weren’t anything to write home about.
Of course, that’s also what made you so damn useful in your role. No one kept an eye on you, everyone underestimated you, you could get away with so much because to most people in charge, you didn’t exist. You not being able to be manipulated by the force, also made you extremely skilled in what you did, without anyone seeming to notice.
Your feat of climbing the military ranks in leaps and bounds only got you mild acknowledgments, and a handful of attempted manipulations from some people in power. But when they realized you didn’t bend, but you weren’t important enough to get rid of, they left you alone.
At 22 you had reached the rank of senior general in the republic army, placing you above even a good chunk of the jedi you fought against, which was also why you had been placed with the 501st, to apparently teach their general the basics.
Anakin and Obi-Wan had both been unsettled by the fact that they couldn’t sense you in the force the first time you met. Every being, even the nonliving, had a presence. But you didn’t. it was like you didn’t exist.
That took quite some time to get used too, especially to someone as force sensitive as Anakin. But over time you two started getting along, and though it took him some time and a lot of grumbling, Anakin did learn quite a lot from you.
The flirting had been subtle in the beginning, or as subtle as Anakin could be. From getting your help on reports and readings he just “couldn’t understand”, to getting you to help him stretch after he had spent hours going through his katas.
You weren’t oblivious, you couldn’t be with the life you lived, so of course you noticed his attempts at flirting. It was endearing in a way. To see someone who was supposed to have no connection to people like that, seem so drawn to you.
It also left you feeling uneasy in a way, as you had never really had much time to relationships or even flirting for that matter, having spent all these years making something of yourself.
Alongside the flirting you two became good friends, and you had even signed yourself up to stay with his platoon, even when your training was done. This was also where you learned he had had a thing with Padme, but they realized they were better as friends a while ago.
When you shared your own lack of experience, it seemed to boost some of Anakin’s confidence, seeing as you both were on new ground. And like with anything else, he took to it with gusto.
The fact that you never turned him down or rejected him, sometimes even laughing and playing along, only made Anakin try even harder. It was cute, to see him trying his best to woo you in a subtle and less noticeable way, seeing as he was still a jedi and it wasn’t actually allowed.
The 501st knew though. Of course they knew, and when Ahsoka came around she figured it out very fast, and she most likely took up the role as hype man and background support.
Your flirting became part of your dynamic, it was just something that you two did, which to outsiders was just seen as banter to keep the spirits up.
It also didn’t go past flirting for a long time, seeing as you guys were always surrounded by people. And being besides Anakin didn’t let you slip into the shadows like you were used too, since he would glow so brightly.
The need for privacy was what had you two slinking off to the side during one of the nights in camp, the platoon having settled down on a planet and waiting for their next orders. Anakin and you had decided to wander off, settling somewhere nearby, but far enough away to get some time alone together.
There might also have been a bottle of alcohol in your coat. It was nowhere near enough to get either of you drunk, especially with the force helping clear it out of Anakin’s system quicker than average folk. But it was enough to loosen up and get comfortable.
Your normal banter of flirting was constant, but as the buzz settled it became something softer and somehow hotter, the feelings growing thick in the air and noticeable enough that even you, who was as force sensitive as a rock if not lesser, could sense it.
Anakin must have made some corny pass at you, that cocky grin on his lips and his hair brushed back and out of his face, letting you truly see his handsome features. Something came over you, later you would blame the force, but it just felt right.
Leaning in and closing the gap between you seemed to have shocked Anakin, his eyes wide before he seemingly melted against you, arms wrapping around your neck and torso and pulling you even closer.
The kiss was far from the most skilled or pleasant, but your shared lack of experience was fully made up for by enthusiasm.
Anakin would pant and grunt as the kiss turned steamier, lips parting and tongues rubbing together, spit gathering at the edges of your mouths and a line of drool running down his chin. His eyes were shut tightly in concentration, his brows furrowed and hands grasping as your coat.
You had no idea how long you two were laying there, kissing like two lovesick fools from some romance novel. Hands were grasping and exploring, but never going further than that. Now wasn’t the time to go any wilder than what you were doing, but the possibility of it was enough to make the kiss even better.
When you pulled away, Anakin leaned after you with a soft noise, bottom lip pouting out and red from the insistent kissing, his eyes cracking open to look at you with the softest look you had ever seen from him.
“Not all of us can hold our breath for hours” you snarked with a soft chuckle, since you knew he could, thanks to the force. Your jedi grumbled, but tucked his head under your chin, still clutching you close and brushing his lips against your neck.
Neither of you spoke for a while, just holding onto each other. You found yourself brushing your fingers through his hair, Anakin almost arching into the touch like an affection starved tooka, a sight that only made you smile more.
“I like you a lot” he mumbled, glancing up at you through his lashes with that insistent determined, but somehow still soft and warm look in his eyes. Just seeing him like that made you wanna kiss him again, to devour him whole.
“I think I like you too” you replied, an upwards tick to your lips as you pulled him close again. Even without the ability to feel the force, you could still feel it flare, like the sun rising in the morning. It would be no surprise if Ahsoka knew exactly what had happened, and the padawan would be confronting you guys about it later.
But right now all that mattered was laying there with Anakin, and maybe stealing a couple more of those deep insistent and longing kisses, since he sounded so pretty when you did. You guys could deal with everything else later.
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dedalvs · 15 days
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When will humankind learn the lesson of its hubris and begin to heal itself? Also can you recommend any undergraduate or graduate level resources (textbooks etc.) for learning about fiction? I already read Writing Fiction by Burroway. Thanks in advance
January 14, 3182. Make a note of the date and return to this post when it comes.
To your second question, I've never read anything on writing fiction, only writing in general. I've found something valuable in every book on writing, even if there were things in the book I found less valuable. For example, I read Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg, and while there was much of it I didn't care for, there are some passags that have stuck with me 22 years later. When it comes to writing guides, I think the best thing to do is read what interests you while understand that what you are really doing is building your own writing guide inside you. You're absorbing what you find personally meaningful and using it to create your own personal styleguide that, like it or not, you'll be following for the rest of your life. Rather than rejecting that, and trying to decide which text will be the text that tells you how to write, embrace it, realize that you are going to do what you're going to do, and then try to work within that framework. That is, if that's what's happening, how will you approach a styleguide? What will it mean to you to read a very didactic text (i.e. "All serious writers must do x; no serious writer every does y") vs. a loosey-goosey one (e.g. "Dance naked in the garden of your creativity and allow your flowers to bloom!")? What are you looking for in these texts and what will you do with information or strategies that you find valuable?
Returning to Writing Down the Bones, I have to say I found the book to be mostly woo. It was more a kind of self-help/empowerment book than a book on writing, in my opinion. But there is something in there that I'm sure I'd heard before but which finally resonated with me. Specifically, it was the way she articulated that it really, truly doesn't matter what you put on the page when you're drafting. Drafting is not the time to reject. Even some idea comes to you that you find absurd, illogical, thematically inappropriate—whatever. It's not the time to push it away. Indeed, it's wasted effort. Editing and revising is the time to question. If you're writing, you shouldn't let anything stop you—even your own brain.
Why it took till then for this idea to take root, I don't know. It could be how she worded it. It could be that it came at the right time. Perhaps I was more open to new ideas when I was reading this book. It may also have something to do with a transition that had taken place for me in writing. After all, when I started high school, I was not regularly using a computer (we'd only just gotten a computer that stayed at home). When I started writing, I wrote by hand—on paper. It's a much, much different thing to edit and revise when you're writing on paper than it is on when you're working on a computer! I mean, digital real estate is cheap. When you're writing by hand, it can literally hurt to write seven or eight pages—and then to discard them in editing! Right now I'm working on a novel draft where I've decided an entire section needs to come out. If I'd written that by hand?! I can't even imagine.
I guess the tl;dr of it is I don't have a specific text to recommend. Rather, I encourage you to look around and grab anything that interests you. In doing so, though, I encourage you to approach it differently, focusing on what in it you find valuable, without either wholly rejecting it or feeling you have to follow it to the letter like an Ikea manual. I even found something valuable in C. S. Lewis's The Abolition of Man, which I honestly can't believe I read.
If you'd like some fiction advice that may be generally useful no matter what you're writing, this is what I can offer:
A valuable skill to hone is being able to read your work as if you have no other knowledge of it. In other words, you need to be able to read your work like a reader. One of the most difficult things to do with fiction is to cut. You usually have a lot more characterization, a lot more plot points, a lot more detail, etc. than end up on the page. The important question is if you cut something, will the reader notice? Will it actually feel like something's miss it, or will a reader never notice? Mind, I'm not saying that as a writer you can't tell if something is superfluous, or that anything you cut will be superfluous. I'm saying sometimes even if you cut something important a reader will still get the impression that what they are reading is whole and unedited. That isn't a good thing or a bad thing: it's a neutral thing. The question you'll have to answer is what is this whole that the reader is getting, and is that whole something you're satisfied with?
Get multiple rounds of feedback from many different readers. I say this not because it's vital, because beta readers are important, because you have to have multiple perspectives on your work, etc. None of that. Getting feedback from many different readers is a form of self-care on the part of the writer. I was deathly afraid of feedback as a young writer. I welcomed praise, sure, but anything else felt too painful to bear. This changed when I took a short fiction class at Berkeley. Suddenly a short story of mine wasn't getting one round of feedback: it was getting fourteen. And not just from the professor, but from fellow students. This was a minor revolution for me in terms of accepting feedback. If I were to take, say, one round of feedback, certainly there would be some praise, but there would also be notes like "awkward phrasing", "why did x character do y?", "this is unclear", "too much description", etc. These things would burn me. I would seethe reading them, and it would hurt so deeply. But! Imagine that one of them circles a paragraph and writes "too much description" and then the other thirteen readers say absolutely nothing at all about that paragraph—maybe one even puts a smiley face next to it. THAT puts the criticism in its proper context. Maybe your writing isn't too bad! Maybe there isn't too much description. Maybe that particular reader just wasn't vibing with it, and maybe that's okay. And then let's look at it from the other perspective. Say thirteen out of fourteen papers have a sentence marked and all of them say things like "huh?", "what's this mean?", "confusing", etc. Guess what? The sentence is probably confusing. And for some reason if everyone's saying the same thing it hurts a lot less. It means, yeah, you probably made a little mistake, and that's okay. It's not one person singling you out, and it's not the case that they don't know what they're talking about. I can't emphasize enough how freeing it is to look at reviews of your work if you have a handful or more to draw from rather than just a single good friend.
It's okay to write the fun part first. You may have a plot device you're really excited about, but to get there, you have to introduce your characters, have them get together, have them go to a place, meet someone else, etc. And it may take time and energy to write all that. You may feel pressured to get through that before you get to the part you really want to write. You certainly can, but you do not have to. I don't know if younger writers can appreciate exactly what it means to have a computer. You can write a little bit now and literally copy and paste it into some other document later. Try doing that with a typewriter! You can write something like "Insert paragraphs later of characters traveling to x location". You can even drop a variable in there so it's easy to find with the search function later (e.g. "ZZZZZ insert scene description here"—now you just need to search for "ZZZZZ"). You can put it in a different color on the screen so it's easy to find when scrolling. You can paste a freaking photo into your document! It's extraordinary what you can do with a computer that you couldn't do in years past. You've got a ton of options. But most importanly, when your work is done, no one will know what order you wrote it in.
In fiction, nothing has to happen. Villains don't have to be punished; heroes don't have to win; characters don't have to have a specific arc that comes to some conclusion. Honestly, one of the tropes (if you can even call it a trope) that I find most frustrating in sequels for movie franchises is after the characters are introduced, they take a few character and assign to them the major story conflict, and then for the rest, they give them a mini arc. It's like, "Mondo 2: Exploding the Mondoverse sees our hero Larjo Biggins take on new villain the Krunge as the very core of the Mondoverse is threatened with destruction! Also, Siddles Nuli learns its okay to be left out sometimes and she shouldn't get her feelings hurt, and Old Mucko learns that even though technology is advancing, sometimes good old fashioned common sense is just what the doctor ordered!" If you get to the end of your story, and you feel it's done, you don't have to panic if you suddenly realize we don't know whether Hupsi ever made it to Bumbus 7. It's okay if Story A is resolved but Story B is not.
I don't care if you used Trope A in your new story even though you used Trope A in your past seven stories and neither should you. Seriously, you think anyone was complaining when Agatha Christie put out another mystery novel? "Oh. Mystery again, huh? Gee, we were all hoping you'd write a book about the struggles traditional fishing villages are facing in the wake of industrial modernization." No we fucking weren't!
I hope you find some of this useful. Whether you did or not, though, be sure you enjoy what you're doing. If you are, you're doing the right thing.
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fvnalgirlcomplex · 10 months
Text
PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES
and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)
warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing
masterlist, series masterlist
fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )
summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.
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bought a bunch of makeup,
tryna cover up my face
i started to skip lunch,
stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays
youruser
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liked by lhughes and 56,890 others
youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield
view 182 comments…
colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.
youruser anything for a fan
user19 she’s so cocky omg
yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(
youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!
jackhughes ❤️
liked by youruser
user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo
jackhughes
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liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others
jackhughes birthday girl 🎂
view 367 comments…
_quinnhughes haps
youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔
user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀
user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1
user63 bro could do sm better
trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣
user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹
user7 no..
user329 why are you so miserable
user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup
“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”
“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”
Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.
“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.
“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.
“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.
You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?
‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’
there’s always somethin’ in the mirror
that i think looks wrong
when pretty isn’t pretty enough,
what do you do?
You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.
You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.
But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.
“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.
“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.
It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.
Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.
Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.
“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.
njdwag.updates
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liked by jackhughes and 2,384 others
njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛
view 103 comments…
theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷
user273 jacks like 🥹
user33 is this a safe space?
user649 depends…
user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/
user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??
liked by 208 others
user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that
user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀
user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!
and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you
i could change up my body and change up my face
i could try every lipstick in every shade
but i’d always feel the same
‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways
njdwags
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liked by 1,266 others
njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!
view 103 comments…
user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO
user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty
user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(
liked by njdwags
user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart
user683 ugly ass
user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…
user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀
and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see
it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine
it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed
it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try
It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.
You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.
And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.
It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.
Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.
So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.
And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.
and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy
i chased some dumb ideal my entire life
and none of it matters and none of it ends
you just feel like shit all over again
Was this silly? It feel silly.
This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.
Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.
“We’re home!”
Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.
“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.
“Bathroom!”
You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.
“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.
“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”
“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.
“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”
Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.
“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde; go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”
Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”
You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.
After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”
“Jack!”
“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.
“No blonde.”
Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.
“So… can we get that shower now?”
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itsjusthockey · 1 year
Note
Hey hun!! Could u write about something about Jack getting injured pretty bad with him being his clumsy self and catching his edge or something. Reader feels obligated to pamper him every second of everyday and is just so gentle with him it gets to the point where Jack is like “babe just because I hurt my leg doesn’t mean we can’t make out or do it” cause reader is like so scared of hurting him but Jack is just super needy
Smooth - Jack Hughes
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Summer Series Open Now
This was a request, keep sending them I love them (if I get more than five new request, I drop a new fic tomorrow)
I changed a few little things but I love how this turned out
Much longer than expected, whoops
w.c 1,516 (credit to gif maker) (slight suggestive content)
You’re honestly surprised Jack has lived to see the grand age of 22. He may think he’s agile, smooth even, but you know better. In fact, you’d dare even to say that your boyfriend is one of the clumsiest people you know. It’s honestly a miracle he hasn’t broken anything, especially since this summer; he’s really been pushing his limits.
“Babe, Babe! Look.”
You turn your head up from the book you are currently devouring to stare at your boyfriend. You watch as he does a cute little flip on the wave and throws you a couple of peace signs. You smile, give him a thumbs up, and not a second later, he dives off the board and into the lake.
He quickly gets into the boat, grabs a towel, and shakes out his hair. As soon as he’s only a little wet, he walks toward you, sitting right next to you and placing your legs on top of his.
“That must be a damn good book. Usually, you can’t take your eyes off me.”
You roll your eyes at him, gently placing the book down. “Well, if you must know, it is very interesting. Lots of murder, lots of mayhem.”
As soon as the sentence leaves your lips, he snatches the book from your lap, reading the back insert. After a couple of seconds, he hums.
“Looks kinda good.”
You smile and snatch it back. “I’ll add it to your list.”
Jack nods, smiling again at you, and leans over to kiss your forehead. When he pulls back, he nods toward Luke, who is currently surfing at the back of the boat.
“I think I’m gonna go again; try that thing Luke saw on TikTok.”
Once he says that, you narrow your eyes at him.
“The last time you tried something like that, both of you almost drowned.”
This time Jack rolls his eyes, shaking his head wildly.
“Please (Y/N), your lack of faith is insulting. We’re experts.”
You shrug your shoulders at your boyfriend; you honestly don’t care; you know that sometimes their little tricks can become problems.
Mere minutes later, the two of them are hooked up and gliding effortlessly on the water. Quinn is driving the boat, and you’re watching, realizing this may be something you want to see. You’re also sitting beside Trevor, who’s filming the entire thing.
It’s starting great; they do a few little tricks while you and Trev cheer them on. You also catch when Jack does another turn a throws a wink your way, dragging his hand through his hair which he knows you love.
You’re honestly pretty impressed at the pair, not that you’d ever let them know that, but they look good. Everything seems to be going great until it’s not.
You’re all still cheering them on when they reach their final move. One second they’re both good, then in a blink, they both go down, but not before you hear a slight yelp from your boyfriend as he hits the water.
As soon as they fall, Trevor’s eyes dart to you, both of you sharing the “oh fuck” look. Quinn notices this, too, and weaves the boat around quickly.
When you finally get to the pair, they both look a little nervous. Trevor moves first, quickly moving to put down the ladder. Seconds later, he’s helping pull Jack up, Luke also helping to push him into the boat. You can’t help but wince yourself as you watch your boyfriend's nose scrunch up in pain.
As soon as he gets into the boat, he swings his leg up, and everyone can see the blood dripping down and a giant purple bruise forming.
Without saying a word, you grab the first aid kit from the front of the boat and swing into action. You sit across from your boyfriend, wordlessly opening a few supplies. You’re not mad, of course; you’re just worried. Injuries aren’t ideal for hockey players, even if they're small.
“Oh, son of a bitch,” Jack hisses as you wipe some alcohol pads over the rather large cut.
You glance up at him to see some tears welling up in his eyes, and as soon as you meet his eyes, he rips them away. You know he’s mad at himself and, obviously, in quite a bit of pain.
“Is he gonna make it?” Luke asks, watching behind you.
“Don’t know, might have to cut it off.”
You look toward Jack as you make the joke, trying to ease the slight tension, but he doesn’t seem very impressed.
Ten minutes later, you’re docked, and Trevor and Luke are tasked with getting Jack to the house. You stay behind, helping Quinn get the boat settled and doing the glamorous job of wiping your boyfriend's blood off the boat floor.
“He’s lucky that wasn’t worse.” Quinn breaks the silence. “I should’ve backed you up more.”
You shake your head, throwing away the bloody paper towels. “They were gonna do it anyway. He’ll be fine.
You both finish up and go to the house, seeing Luke and Trevor in the kitchen, but no sign of Jack.
“He’s upstairs,” Luke says, gesturing toward the stairs.
You walk by and ruffle his hair slightly, to which he wacks your hand gently away, throwing you an uneasy smile.
You head up the stairs to the bedroom, and when you enter, you see your boyfriend lying on the bed, his foot propped up with some ice on it. As soon as you enter, his eyes follow your figure as you move toward the dresser, grabbing some clothes to change into.
Before you go to the bathroom, you stop.
“Do you wanna shower all the lake and sunscreen off you?”
Jack whips his head toward you, and after a bit of silence, he nods. You move to help him, getting him into the bathroom and helping him peel off his shorts.
Soon you’re both in the shower, and you’re making sure he keeps his weight on the good leg. In the bathroom's light, the bruise and the cut look terrible, and your heart breaks everything he winces.
“I’m sorry.” He blurts out after minutes of silence.
You give him a confused look. “Why? It’s not like you planned on getting hurt, J.”
You quickly swipe some hair from his face, forcing him to look at you.
“I know. I just should’ve listened. And also, I was being a dick, which you don’t deserve, but I know if I talked to you, I’d start crying.”
His admission makes you even sadder, and you quickly pull your boyfriend down to meet you. Placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
“It’s okay, J.”
You finish the shower, and for the rest of the night, you dote on your boyfriend. You make sure he’s comfy, get you both snacks and turn on his favorite movie. Minutes tick by, and you’re comfortably tucked into his side when you notice he isn’t watching the movie.
“You okay? Tired?”
He shakes his head, and m he pulls you into him, connecting your lips. You smile into the kiss and then pull back away from him. This causes him to pout, and he leans back in, pulling you into him, but you resist.
"Hey now, let's not add more injuries to the list, shall we?" You give him a sweet smile and another quick peck, "How about you settle for snuggling? We don’t need any more dangerous stunts, and we can save that for when you're back to your agile, smooth self.”
Your teasing causes Jack to pout further and rolls his eyes, ducking down the meet your lips again. You slightly let him win, letting him deepen the kiss a bit before you pull back once again. As soon as you do, he leans down to whisper in your ear.
“I appreciate the concern, but I still have two legs, babe.”
He raises his eyebrow at his suggestive comment, and you roll your eyes back as far as they can go.
“Gross.”
He snickers, pulling you back in and moving his lips down your neck, stopping at the place you go crazy for. You can’t help but squirm as his lips send tingles down your spine.
“Jack, you're impossible," you laugh, trying to maintain some composure while he continues his teasing assault.
He lifts his head, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well, if I can't be agile on the water, at least I can be smooth here," he winks, earning himself another eye roll from you.
“Smooth, huh?" you quip, a smirk forming on your lips. "I'll believe that when you can walk without limping."
He smiles another big smile, and his eyes grow soft.
“Please, I’m 100% sure you will heal me, and I promise I’ll be careful.”
You stare deep into his eyes, and you feel yourself breaking.
“Fine, but I’ll do most of the work.”
Jack's eyes darken as the words leave your lips, and at record speed, he pulls at your top.
“If that’s the case, I think I want to stay injured forever.”
1K notes · View notes
moonsgemini · 1 year
Text
don’t delete the kisses - college!rafe
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summary: Rafe loses all his confidence when it comes to the girl he’s been pining after for years but maybe her plan to be alone with him will help give him the push he needs. Or maybe the guy that flirts with her and doesn’t take no will be his final straw.
warnings: MUTUAL PINING, fluff, self doubt, alcohol, friends to lovers kinda, college au, semi creepy guy, fem reader, she/her
wc: 4.3k
an: HI FRIENDS!!! guess who’s back fr this fine. I started a very new chapter of my life recently & kinda went through a little depression but I’m doing much better now & much more adjusted. I missed writing sm but I’m a little rusty so uh sorry if it's bad LOL
p.s I turned 23 last week. ik my bio already says 23 but I lied & was 22 but now I’m 23. LOL. also I’m not a gemini but I have a gemini moon.
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Rafe was confident. Some would say he was a little cocky, but he never saw it that way. He saw it as knowing what he wanted and never stopping until he got it. Whether it be being the best at soccer, taking out the hottest girl, or getting a 4.2 gpa. Rafe’s charming personality always got him far in every aspect in life. Parents loved him, teachers admired him, girls practically threw themselves at him. Of course he had no problem talking to girls, it was almost what he was best at.
Except when it came to her. She made his words get stuck in his throat, all his thoughts leaving his head when his eyes would meet hers. Whenever she was in the room he couldn’t function, something their friends had started to notice. Rafe’s sophomore year y/n started coming around with one of his friend’s Wren. She inevitably integrated with the group. Y/n would go to the frat parties at the boys frat and Rafe couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Yet never once did he attempt to flirt with her.
Ever since Wren had introduced her to them he was gone. Her shy smile and wide excited eyes had reeled him in. She was sweet and a constant ray of sunshine. Which makes it an even bigger mystery as to why he can’t talk to her. It’s not like she’d be mean or reject him, but somehow he can never get any words out. Always turning into a clammy, awkward, stuttering mess.
Now that it was his senior year attending frat parties became less frequent and going to bars was more common for them. This just made his problem worse. Because now at bars guys would hit on her and he couldn’t do anything. He’d watch with a glare as some guy clearly not good enough for her tried to get her number. She’d always say no, he wasn’t sure why but he was definitely glad she never gave anyone the time of day.
Y/n was sick and tired of never having Rafe’s attention. She’d see him effortlessly talk to Wren and the other girls they were friends with but when it came to her it seemed like he tried to avoid conversation. He would make up an excuse to leave the conversation or would only give short answers. She figured it was to get her to stop talking to him, but she was not giving up that easily.
She wanted his attention because he was just so Rafe. He was smart, athletic, kind, and funny. Maybe he didn’t talk to her but she was always listening to him. When they went on a road trip last summer she sat in the back seat happily in silence because Rafe was talking to Mason almost the whole ride. Plus he is so handsome she swears he could be a disney prince. Y/n had a plan to get to spend some time with him. She wanted him to like her so desperately it was starting to hurt.
It was a Friday night and they were all going out to the bars and she had so graciously offered to host the pregame at her apartment. Everything was going according to plan as her friends all said they’d be there and said what alcohol they were bringing. Even Rafe had sent a text in the group saying he’d be there and that got her stomach fluttering with butterflies. Of course she had the perfect outfit to hopefully impress him and get his attention.
She was setting out shot glasses and solo cups when the first guests knocked on the door. With a giddy smile on her lips she walked over and opened the door. Of course Wren was a part of the group to first arrive.
“Y/n! I’m so happy you’re hosting!” Wren exclaimed as she hugged her. The other three behind Wren took their turn greeting her with a hug as well.
“What you don’t like our place?” Tyler, one of the guys she came with, asked.
Wren gave him a sour look, “Not really into houses with four boys who don’t clean after themselves.”
Kelce gave her an offended look, “Hey we do clean before you guys come over.” They all gathered in the kitchen around the breakfast bar starting to look at the different alcohol options.
“I wouldn’t call wiping down the counters with baby wipes cleaning,” Mariah rolled her eyes at the pair of boys. Just then another knock came from the door.
Kelce who was closest to the door went over to open it. Topper walked in first dapping (an: I cringed too) up Kelce. Behind him followed Mason and Jasmine who all took their turns greeting everyone. Then last but certainly not least Rafe’s tall frame walked through the door way. He smiled brightly as he greeted Kelce and moved on to everyone else. Once he got to y/n who was the last one left his wide smile turned into a closed lip grin. Instead of giving her a side hug the way that all the guys did and the way he did to the other girls he just gave her a small wave. She couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt her but it wasn’t going to deter her from her plan.
Rafe had been a nervous wreck ever since that text she sent inviting them over. Kelce had turned to him knowing his best friend would be looking as pale as a ghost. Rafe didn’t know if he was excited or mortified. The hours before the pregame he had been trying on different outfits and making sure his hair looked okay. Why do I even care so much? is all he kept thinking as he finished spraying on cologne.
He cared so much because he was going to y/n’s. Every time he went in with the mentality that it would be different. He would be his usual self and be able to talk to her. But then when he’d see her all his confidence would disappear and he’d be trying to get away from her as soon as possible. He hated the effect she had on him, he hated feeling so defenseless.
After he chickened out of giving her a hug when he came over he lost complete hope for the rest of the night.
They were going to be leaving for the bar soon and all he had been doing was stealing glances at her every five seconds. She was sitting on her couch with a couple of the girls talking about who knows what. He knows that whatever it was it was making her smile big. She was glowing and radiating so much light he almost couldn’t look away. He loved how she blushed whenever talking about something she was passionate about, something he noticed she did. He also noticed how she constantly touched her hair when she was nervous.
His grip on his cup tightened as he thought about her. He wished he could be the one to brush her hair away or hold her hands when she felt nervous. He sighed and looked away, trying to pay attention to whatever story Topper was telling.
Y/n rolled her eyes playfully while smiling, “It’s a good plan guys! I’ll ask if he can stay behind to help me clean so then we can finally be alone together. God I hope he doesn’t say he’ll leave.”
Wren looked at her friend with sympathetic eyes, “This man has no idea what he’s missing out on.”
“You’re going through all this effort for the biggest player at this school,” Jasmine reminded her.
Y/n shrugged a shy smile on her lips, “But it’s Rafe. We know him, he’s-he’s a good guy.”
“She’s not wrong. He is a good guy,” Wren agreed.
Jasmine laughed, “Well let’s hope he actually tries to pull a move tonight. I’m tired of seeing you reject every guy for him.”
Y/n sighed, “If nothing happens tonight then I’ll give up and it means he really hates me.”
Wren put her hand over hers, “He doesn’t hate you babe. I promise you he doesn’t.”
“Ladies I think it’s tiiiime to head out,” Mason said as he walked over. The buzz he had clearly showing.
The three girls looking at each other before standing up. Y/n cleared her throat, “I-I think I’m gonna stay behind a bit.”
“Dude what? No you’re coming out tonight,” Topper said as they all walked into the kitchen.
“I’m coming out tonight Top. I just wanna stay back and clean a bit,” she gathered all the courage she could, “Uh Rafe could you stay back and help me?”
Rafe turned to look at her with furrowed brows. His kind was racing with reasons as to why she would want him to help. He was also fighting with himself to say no.
He looked over at his friends who were all smirking at him. He huffed a dry laugh, “uh yeah yeah sure.” He gave her a tight lipped smile. As soon as he saw her play with her hair and that smile form on her lips he knew she deserved a million yes’.
After everyone left Rafe and y/n started silently cleaning the kitchen and living room. Rafe glanced up at her every so often, catching her eyes a few times. A subtle heat would creep up on her cheeks when his blue eyes met hers.
She brought over a few beer bottles to the kitchen to recycle as she cleared her throat, “so Rafe how is uh soccer?” She needed something to talk to him about, the silence was killing her.
He looked up at her from where he was wiping the counter. The light buzz he had was making him feel a bit more like himself, “It’s good, season finally starts next week.”
She leaned against the end of the counter, “That’s good. I expect big things from you Rafe, you won the championship last year.”
He chuckled nervously, “Now I really have motivation to do good.”
She smirked, “well you’re like insanely talented so I regardless you’re going to kill it.”
“I will if you come to some games,” The words left his mouth faster than he could stop them. But he was glad he couldn’t stop himself. The blush on her cheeks and the way she looked down fighting a smile made any embarrassment he felt worth it.
“Of course I’ll be there,” She smiled at him, “thanks for helping me clean Rafe. I really didn’t want to come home to a messy apartment.”
“Anything for you,” He shrugged with a small smile.
Her heart was pounding in chest as she spoke, “One more shot before we go?”
He chuckled, “let’s do it.”
She looked around for shot glasses, “Uh I think we used all the shot glasses.” Her suspicions were correct when she opened the dishwasher seeing them in there.
Rafe’s stomach twisted at the idea that popped into his brain. He rubbed his hands on his pants anxiously as he spoke, “I can just pour it in your mouth like a couple of freshman.” He tried to joke hoping he didn’t make her uncomfortable with his suggestion.
Her eyes lit up mischievously feeling like a genius as her plan was going better than expected, “Only if you let me doing it you.”
He nodded laughing, “Fair enough, so what’s your alcohol of choice?”
“hmmm tequila,” She smiled.
He picked a bottle from the counter opening it and looking over at her with a smirk, “Ready?”
She chuckled nervously, “uhhh you first.” He handed her the bottle.
She looked up at him, his tall frame towering over her, “Okay you’re gonna have to lean down or something Rafe you’re too tall.”
He walked around to sit at one of the stools. His knees pointed to her, long legs spread. Without thinking she stepped towards him. Practically standing between his legs, “Get ready Cameron.” She smirked hoping to hide just how dizzy he was making her feel. She’d never been this close to him and it was overwhelming.
He tilted his head back opening his mouth. Her face felt hot as she started pouring the liquid in his mouth. She shouldn’t have been as attracted to it as she was. She pulled away after a few seconds. When Rafe was done drinking he looked at her with a smirk, “That was more than a shot.”
She shrugged feigning innocence, “Oops.”
He let a breathy sigh, a smile still on his lips. He couldn’t find any words to say because when he looked at her for too long he got nervous.
“uh it’s your turn,” He stood up taking the bottle from her hands. It was then he realized how close she was. She smelled so good he wanted to lean into her. He wanted to push her hair back and tuck his face into her neck, kiss her pulse as he breathed in her perfume.
Y/n opened her mouth and tilted her head back a bit. Rafe’s hands moved before he could think. He placed his hand on the side of her face, his thumb going under her chin tilting it up gently. Her mouth opened wider on it’s own accord, something in her wanting to do exactly whatever he wanted. Rafe noticed it too and his jaw clenched as he thought about her in ways that aren’t very gentlemanly.
She couldn’t even taste or feel the alcohol starting to go down her throat as she stared at him. Rafe looked incredibly hot as he stood over her. His lip tucked between his teeth as he concentrated not spilling all over her. The few seconds felt like minutes when he was this close. Rafe pulled the bottle away. As she closed her mouth swallowing the remaining liquid Rafe’s thumb wiped away a drop from the corner of her lip before pulling away. She quickly took a drink from the soda she had opened, trying to get the tequila taste out of her mouth.
He cleared his throat as the tension in the room was palpable, “So uh we should um catch up with everyone?” He said as a question because he didn’t know what to do from here. He wanted to do whatever she did.
Y/n wanted him to bend her over the kitchen counter. But she kept her composure nodding her head, “Uh yeah yeah.”
She stepped away from him instantly missing the closeness as she grabbed her purse. He waited by the door as she walked over. His eyes watched her every move. He held the door open for her as she walked out. He never once looked away as she turned her back to him to lock her door, he enjoyed this view of her. The skirt she had on could barely be considered a skirt, it made his pants suddenly get tighter.
He shifted between his feet as she turned around, a tight lip smile aimed towards her. Of course she returned a toothy grin with a short laugh, he was so cute she couldn’t get enough.
Y/n thought her plan was working, she felt like she was really getting him to open up to her and like her. But whenever she felt like she was getting somewhere his awkwardness would return and that feeling in her gut started blooming. The one that made her doubt herself, what if she had come on too strong back inside and that’s why he was being awkward?
-
Rafe watched her from where he stood by the pool table. She was waiting for the bartender to finish making someone their drink before ordering her second round when some random guy went up to her. From what Rafe could see it seemed like she wasn’t really enjoying the guy’s company.
He gripped his beer bottle in his hands as the guy stepped closer to y/n. She was giving him polite smiles and nods as he went on about who knows what.
The walk to the bar was mostly quiet between the two. A somewhat comfortable silence that was filled with small talk. Even after the moments they had pouring liquor into each other’s mouths they couldn’t be normal around each other. Especially Rafe. Anytime his shoulder would brush against hers he’d step over a little not wanting to make her uncomfortable. When in reality she wanted him to wrap his arm around her because she was cold and because he smelled good. The tequila hadn’t had much of an affect on him anymore so any confidence he had with her was diminished.
“Dude it’s your turn,” Topper nudged him trying to get his attention.
Rafe turned to him trying to act as if he’d been watching him try to get the ball in the pocket. He rolled his eyes, “Eager to lose Top.” Topped chuckled shaking his head not wanting to call out his best friend on his staring problem.
He set his beer down and slightly leaned over the pool table as he aligned the stick with the ball. He still had a clear view of y/n, of course he was still looking up at her every second as he adjusted his position. He pulled the stick back as before pushing it forward between his fingers he looked up and his heart rate picked up.
The guy that has been bothering her had put his hand on his girl. He had put his hand on the small of her back, his body pressing against her side as she uncomfortably shifted away from him. It was clear she didn’t want him near her and he wasn’t getting the hint. What made if even clearer was when y/n’s eyes met his from across the room, a desperate look in her eyes.
Rafe could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he grew more angry. He dropped the stick onto the table not bothering to say anything to Topper or anyone else. He took long strides over to them not wanting her to be in that situation any longer. He bumped into a few people on the way but he didn’t care enough to apologize, his eyes zeroed in on her.
Once he was standing behind her Rafe shoved himself between her and the creep. At first y/n was worried it was another creepy guy but as soon as she smelt the familiar dior cologne she knew it was Rafe. The whole time this guy James was talking to her she had been hoping Rafe could read her mind of her pleading him to help her. She had seen him watching them and for a second she felt a sense of pride as she saw a hint of jealousy in his eyes. She hoped she wasn’t wrong about that.
Then the guy noticed that she wasn’t too into whatever he was talking about and decided to touch her to get her attention. Y/n had been leaning on the bar watching the bartender make her drink not full turned to him to hint that she wasn’t interested. When she felt the hand on her lower back she tried leaning away, him thinking that means he should get closer. Panic filled her eyes as she felt helpless, usually ignoring them or politely turning them down would turn guys away but not this one.
Before he could get even closer is when she smelt that amazing dior cologne. Rafe gave the guy a shove, not too hard to where he’d draw attention. He didn’t want to make y/n more uncomfortable by getting the whole bar’s attention by starting a fight.
“Hands off my girlfriend,” Rafe said his voice laced with venom. She stepped to the side but still behind Rafe to look at the scene in front of her. Her eyes widened at his words, cheeks beginning to feel hot like she just took another shot of tequila.
James scoffed putting his hands up in defense, “Dude she was the one coming on to me.” Y/n scoffed glaring at him in disgust.
She was opening her mouth to say something when Rafe laughed mockingly, “Yeah I doubt she’d give you the time of day even if she was single. Go the fuck away now.”
Rafe turned around to her, barely any space between them. His brows furrowed in concern as he took in her glassy eyes and pink cheeks, “Are you okay?”
He looked even more handsome when he was worried about her. She wasn’t even thinking about the situation she was just in all she could think about was Rafe. Maybe her plan had worked.
She cleared her throat trying to find her voice, “uh yeah. yes. Can we actually go outside?” The room had started to feel too hot and stuffy, or maybe her body was just over heating from their closeness.
He nodded, “Come on, follow me.” He grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd. His much taller and wider frame creating a path for her.
Once outside she felt like she could breathe again until Rafe turned to her again and her eyes met his. He was so beautiful it hurt her to think about how maybe he just said what he said to help her. Maybe it didn’t mean anything. She wished he would just talk to her like he talked to everyone else and flirt with her like he did with every girl or like he did a couple hours ago in her kitchen.
“Y/n are you okay,” He asked her again letting go of her hand not wanting to make her uncomfortable. He immediately regretted it and wanted to reach for her again. Rafe wanted to move her hair out of her face and stroke her cheek.
She gave him her best smile even though he could see a sadness behind her eyes, “I’m fine Rafe, I could have taken that guy. It was just hot in there.” She tried to play off.
“You’re lying,” He said softly, “why do you seem sad? I can go back in there and punch the guy.”
She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, “I’m not sad about that.”
“Then what is it? I can help.”
She huffed not really wanting to tell him but knowing she had to rip the bandaid off at some point, “Rafe why don’t you like me? Well I think you like me now. But before why was it only me you never talked to or even any ounce of attention to? But then you like step in and save me from a weirdo and act all concerned so I’m just confused.” She felt like a weight lifted off of her shoulders finally getting what’s been bothering her off her chest.
Rafe stood dumbfounded and feeling the world’s biggest dick. He didn’t think that she had noticed how weird he was around her and now he’s finding out she thinks he hates her. He should be punching himself. It takes him a few seconds to find the right words to say.
“Y/n you’ve always had all of my attention. I-I am always looking at you, in the least creepy way possible,” He sighed finally confessing, “Whenever I’m around you I-I can’t be that Rafe everyone expects of me because you make me nervous. You’re perfect. You’re so nice, funny, beautiful, the smartest person I know, and gorgeous. I was afraid I’d do something stupid or mess up and you’d think I was just some dumb jock.”
She stepped closer to him leaving no distance between them. She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him, “Rafe I’ve liked you since I met you. I-I have been dying for you to do something for so long now, please don’t keep me waiting any longer.”
How could Rafe say no? Her big eyes staring up at him with her warm palms on his chest that were now sliding up his shoulders to wrap around his neck. He grabbed her waist firmly bringing her impossibly closer. That nerve racked Rafe was gone as soon as he heard her say she liked him. He felt like himself now, moving with confidence as he walked backwards pressing her against the side of the bar.
At the same time that her back hit the wall he leaned down and connected his lips with her soft plump ones. She let out and soft moan at the feeling she had been craving since she saw him for the first time. Y/n didn’t even care that her back and hair were pressed agains the dirty wall because one of Rafe Cameron’s hands were sliding up her body and wrapping around her throat gently.
He kissed her with fervor trying to make up for lost time. And oh boy was Rafe already planning on just how he was going go make up for it. After a few minutes they pulled away breaths mixing together as they stayed close to each other.
“Wow,” She whispered before a giggle slipped past her lips. She had finally kissed him.
He laughed with her feeling the same giddiness she did. He reached up brushing some strands of her eyes, “I’m sorry I’ve been an idiot. Let me take you home and make it up to you.”
She nodded shyly. Suddenly not knowing how to act around the Rafe she had been praying to see, “Yes please.”
He smirked leaning forward and pressing a kiss below her ear. He nudged his nose against her ear before softly saying, “Please? Well aren’t you a good girl.”
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th3-3d3n-g4rd3n · 2 months
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I’m dying scavenging the internet for more Carl grimes x fem! reader fics. I love the idea of wear the hat ride the cowboy. Maybe with the virgin trope if you write that. Love some smut! No Rush, get to it when/ if you get to it! ❤️
omg this is beautiful and you’re so sweet
(i had to write this twice because i forgot to save it the first time so i’m sorry it took so long 😭🫶)
☆彡༄
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virgin! Carl Grimes x fem!reader
(reader and Carl are 18+) (i kinda pictured Carl being 18 and reader being like 22 but you can picture however you want)(suggested that the reader isn't a virgin)
cw: established relationship, riding, kindaaa subby Carl, I’m actually so unserious in the intro, dry humping, reader calls Carl cowboy, Carl is vocal and his parents are downstairs, premature ejac... he's very eager bless him, fem receiving oral
1024 words
☆彡༄
Carl Grimes is adorable. That’s the only word that comes to your mind right now, adorable.
His consistent smile, adorable. His random compliments throughout the day, adorable. His hugs from behind when he wants your attention, adorable. And, you KNOW that it should just warm your heart but for some reason, it’s warming somewhere else (if ya know what I mean…)
You and Carl were given the afternoon off so, you'd decided to read comics in his bedroom. You had eventually gotten a little bored (and bothered) so, what else to do but annoy your beautiful boyfriend?
Snatching his hat, you place it on your head and smirk up at him, sticking your tongue out. Jokingly, he rolls his eyes and says, “hey, careful. You know what they say?” You giggle at his response, “what do they say, Carl. Tell me” you reply, not knowing where he’s going with this, “wear the hat, ride the cowboy!” he chuckles.
You smile at his goofiness, before you got an idea.
You sit up and straddle his lap, “oh yeah, Cowboy? You want me to ride you?” you say with confidence that you must’ve pulled from your ass because you have no idea where that came from (hehe). For a moment, his flushed face and unhinged jaw that the boy below you presents make you think that you’ve made him uncomfortable. You consider getting off and just walking away, taking the embarrassment and probably never talking again. That was until he starts shaking his head yes rapidly.
His hands latch onto your hips, “are you being serious? Like, is that an actual offer?” You giggle a bit at his enthusiastic tone, "yeah... If you want me?"
"Hell yeah!" he shouts with wide eyes, to which you have to cover his mouth, "as much as I love your enthusiasm, stay quiet, Carl", you chuckle a bit to yourself at the situation, "your parents are downstairs," you remind him. His mouth drops to an O shape and he smirks in realisation, "oh shit... yeah."
You both sit there in silence for a minute, making sure that nobody was coming upstairs. When you hear nothing, you take the initiative to start moving your hips on top of his, catching him by surprise and making him sharply moan under the change of friction. You clasp your hand over his mouth oncemore, quickly realising how vocal the boy would be.
It doesn't take long before the boy's chest is heaving up and down, his lightly freckled face had been flushed with a deep scarlet. Of course, you promised that you'd ride him so, you couldn't have him cumming too soon. Stopping your movements, the needy boy whined from the loss of friction however, he stopped complaining when you took your top and bra off. He once again freezes in position, unsure of what to do. Since you knew he was a virgin, you took pity on his cluelessness and decided to give him some help, taking his hands off of your hips and placing them on your breasts to which he quite literally squeaks. "Don't twist your panties, Cowboy. Just take them off." You lift your hips and gesture to his jeans.
"Yes, Ma'am" he said, hardly above a whisper - unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans and, pulling them down and off before looking back up at you like an innocent puppy. God, he really drove you crazy.
Luckily, you were wearing a skirt so all you had to do was move your panties to the side before slowly sinking onto his dick. It was so annoying that his parents were downstairs because the erotic whine that emerged from the man below you was hot enough to make you almost cum on the spot. Unfortunately, it was muffled by your hand since you already knew what to expect from your vocal boyfriend.
"God, you look so pretty like this, Cowboy" you tease him. All he can do is look up at you with glazed-over eyes, cherry cheeks and swollen lips, continuing to moan behind your palm - already sporting a fucked-out expression. When he started bucking his hips up into you, you knew he wouldn't last much longer but, you didn't mind, I mean you knew he was a virgin so, you weren't expecting him to last long anyway.
"shit, shit, shit, 'm gonna-" he mumbles quickly before you feel his body tense and squirm beneath yours. You slow your movements, letting him ride out his orgasm before stopping fully. "That was so fucking hot, thank you.." he whispers to you, "you don't have to thank me, Cowboy. You're so cute."
He hides his flushed face in your neck and places soft kisses at the base of it. That was before he had a realisation, "you didn't get to cum, did you?" he said whilst wearing a lightly guilty expression. "No I didn't but, it's okay, I promise"
"No, it's not. Don't worry, I'll take care of you!" he smiles at you innocently before grabbing onto your hips, flipping you over, stripping you of your skirt and undies and lowering his face to your cunt. "You really don't have to, Carl it's oka-" you're cut off by the eager lapping of your clit, making your head fall into the mattress below you.
He was surprisingly skilled to say that he'd never done this before, keeping his mouth trained on your clit, sucking and circling whilst raising his calloused hands to your thighs and massaging them, before taking his right hand to insert a finger into your hole skillfully and, taking his other hand to your breast and massaging it like he was prior.
This time, you were the one having to cover your mouth due to being the centre of his attention. He inserts another finger and starts curling them in and out, hitting all the spots that you'd never been able to reach on yourself before.
Soon enough, you feel the knot in your stomach become undone and, your body spasms under his gentle touch; he watches you release on his fingers and listens to your muffled moans in awe.
"Shit, I could see you do that 100 times over"
I HOPE THIS IS OKAY
i quite like this one but you guys lmk what you think
love u, eden
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Love Thorns All Over This Rose
Words: 2577
Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt (this is will make sense if you read it), probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever
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IF THERE IS A WANT FOR A PART 2, I WILL DO ONE, IF NOT, THEN THIS STAYS AS A ONE-SHOT!
I mention Y/N goes to a church to pray, it is described more as a Christian or Catholic one (I really don't know the difference and I apologize) as she lights a candle before she prays. If you wish to skip that part, it starts with "Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral." and ends with "Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out.". I do also mention that the reader themselves aren't very religious (but grew up with it so reverted back to old practices to see if it helped)
Alfred is also dead in this (don't ask why he just is) so that's why he isn't here!
The POV here isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!
 I feel like I should mention:
Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23
I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned
Anywho, enjoy
Love Z <3
7:25 AM
The kids watched as Y/N was silent as she put the plate down in front of Bruce's empty seat. They all noted how fake her smile looked as she looked up at them. "Alright, I will see you kids later!"
They all watched as she walked out of the dining room and once they knew she was out of earshot, they started talking.
"Did she eat anything?"
It was Jason, he had been the last down (well...outside of Tim) so he only saw her putting the plates down and ushering them to eat.
Dick shook his head, he had seen her the entire time she made breakfast. Fully clothed, which was unusual as she usually just made breakfast in her pajamas with her hair occasionally brushed. But not today. Today her hair was done, makeup was on, she was dressed as if she was working.
But everyone in that house knew she was still off after what happened, even though it had been 3 months since the incident.
Damian flicked at his food, "Ummi was supposed to take me to school today."
Dick smiled at Damian, "I can, Dami. Mom is just...preoccupied."
Damian hmphed and continued to play with his food. Dick was concerned for his younger brother. He knew that while he himself was close with the woman he had allowed to become his mother, Damian was so much more as she was really the only person who never got mad at him or made fun of him when he didn't understand something.
Jason abruptly stood, "Since mom isn't here, I'm just gonna go."
Dick raised a brow, "Really Jason? You're just gonna leave after--"
"Hey, we've been over this before Dick. I come because mom asks me to." He shrugged as he put his jacket on, "Plus, I'm going to follow her."
Stephanie snorted, "She'll kill you when she catches you."
"If she catches me. If."
Steph hummed, "My bets are on she will. Y/N is always on the lookout, especially after..." She faded and looked down, regret piling up inside her as she thought of what she was about to say.
"Either way, tell us what you find Jason."
He nodded to Dick's request before heading out the side door in the kitchen. Dick tapped his hand on the table for a minute before speaking; "I'm gonna go check on dad, Damian go get everything ready and I'll meet you at the entryway, alright?"
The eldest stood, placing a gentle hand on the youngest shoulder before heading to the stairs. Dick was concerned. He had never seen his mother so...shut off. Pretending like everything was alright even though everyone who saw her could tell that she was so close to jumping off of a bridge.
The closest that he had seen her to this was back when Jason died and she broke up with Bruce. But even then, she didn't avoid things that she had already planned. Even then, she stayed committed to things.
Plus, Dick knew she had no plans today. Well...no plans except for the fact that beforehand this would have been her due date. And he knew that that was most likely what had off-set her so badly.
Dick didn't even knock before opening the door to Bruce's study. He was even speaking before his father even looked up from his computer. "Have you talked to mom?"
Bruce raised a brow, "What?"
"Mom." Dick crossed his arms, "When was the last time you and her had a real conversation?"
Bruce shrugged, "I'm not sure." He looked at Dick oddly, "What are you going on about?"
Dick let out a hard sigh, "You two are married, it is your job to take care of her. Goddammit Bruce!" He threw his hands up in anger, "You know what? Nevermind, I'm not...I'm not even going to try."
He angrily turned and walked out of the room. He didn't even understand why he even thought that talking to Bruce would help. He just walked down the stairs and remembered his promise to get Damian to school. Trying to hide the anxiety he had that he didn't know what exactly his mom was doing.
--------
9:09 AM
Jason watched Y/N walk out of the convenience store all the way in Blüdhaven. From where he was, he couldn't see what she had bought, but the moment he saw her go into the store, he had messaged Tim to watch her bank account. To watch what she was purchasing. Something felt...off as he watched her.
Jason knew that after the...accident, Y/N had been hard to reach. To talk to. He knew that she and Bruce hadn't been sleeping in the same bed since that argument he had accidently heard them having around 3 weeks after everything happened. So 4 weeks ago.
Granted...from what he had heard, it wasn't even a fight that they had had. Mostly just words being thrown at the other. Words that Jason never thought that he would hear either one say to the other. Words that he never told any of his siblings that he heard. All out of fear that one of them would panic. And while sure, he had a disdain for Tim and Damian, that didn't mean he would ever let either of them know what he had heard.
Jason wasn't sure how long he had been watching her just sit in the car before Tim finally texted him a list of what Y/N had bought in the past week. And considering Jason had seen her previous bank records for a week, it was a sure red mark with how short it was.
Tim
In the past week she's gotten a lot of sleeping pills. That's basically all that she has gotten. That plus energy and pain pills. Duke is thinking she's self-medicating again
Jason sighed as he pocketed his phone when he saw his mom driving out of the parking lot. He kept a safe distance behind her as he followed her on her drive back to Gotham.
--------
12:15 PM
Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral. Trying not to make a misstep and fall as well as trying not to draw attention to herself. She closed the umbrella over her head as she walked in. Placing it in the small holder, she brushed the front of her outfit as her heels clicked on the ground when she walked down the long hall.
Last time she was there was for her mothers funeral last year. Last time she had walked up and grabbed the larger candle to dip down and light the smaller one. Her heart pounded in her chest as she kneeled, words swimming through her head and mumbling off her lips.
She herself was never very religious, but having grown up that way, she wondered if praying like she did as a child would work. Praying that things would get better and that she would get better.
She shakily did the cross on her before standing and wiping the tears that had silently fallen away from her cheeks. She turned and started to make her way out of the church when she heard a voice call out her name:
"Mrs. Wayne! We were not expecting you here today, is everything alright?"
Y/N slowly turned to face one of the Nuns, a small, fake, smile on her face. "Oh yes, everything is alright Sister. Just came here to pray for a moment. I haven't in such a long time."
The nun nodded, "Very well, I hope the Good Lord hears your prayer and makes it happen."
Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out. She grabbed her umbrella before opening the door and walking out. She practically ran back to her car, wanting to get in before anyone saw her out.
But Cass and Steph did. They watched her speed back to her car as they sat in the cafe across the way. Stephanie shook her head, "She never goes there. Especially not since her mothers deaths."
Cass nodded as Steph continued; "Something is seriously going on with Y/N. Maybe something else has happened that we don't know."
"She's been deteriorating for the past 4 weeks."
Steph raised a bow and inquired, "4 weeks?" Cass nodded, "Huh...weird, that's around a week after she came home from the hospital." She grabbed her phone and started typing in the groupchat that only held the kids (Damian not included):
Steph
when did Bruce disappear for a few days after Y/N came home?"
It didn't take long for Tim to respond
logs say he left 35 hours after she got home and came back 83 hours later why?
Cass
She's been slowly getting worse sense then
Jason
I overheard them arguing around 3 weeks after everything happened and I know they haven't been sleeping in the same room since then. And I'm not sure how important this is; but Tim checked her bank account and she bought different pills so me, him, and Duke think she's medicating again. Or that she's going to start again.
Cass and Steph looked at each other, concern and worry was on their faces as they read Jason's last message. Something started unnerving them as they thought of the things she could possibly do if she was going to start medicating again.
----
3:25 PM
Y/N looked at her body in the mirror. Her hands came to lay on her stomach. Just like she did before. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared at her flatter stomach. She breathed shakily as her hands fell down to her sides.
Why?
Was all she ever asked.
Why me? Why did this happen to me?
She was so confused. She had always been good. Done everything to be a good person. But yet she still had that happen to her. Was she just not meant to be a mother?
Of course...she was one. She was a mother to 4 amazing boys and 1 beautiful girl. But still...it was different. Yes, those 5 children were hers, but that one. That singular one that she had carried for nearly 7 months had meant so much to her. Especially after being told time and time again it wouldn't happen.
It wasn't even the first time it had happened. She had had miscarriages before...but that wasn't what it was this time. The kidnapping. Bruce and the kids had found her after 2 days. The emergency c-section to save the baby.
But she knew. Of course she knew. She knew it had died.
Her baby girl. She had died before she even got the chance to live.
Y/N shakily breathed as she grabbed one of the bottles from the counter. She had thought it was the pain medication. But it hadn't been.
Sleeping meds.
Ever since it happened she had hardly been able to sleep. Nightmares of what happened still plagued her mind. Bruce yelling at her still echoed in her brain. Those...twisted words he said echoed inside of her.
She had popped a few in her mouth before dry-swallowing them and getting into the bath she had started earlier. The hot water felt like it was searing her skin, but she didn't care. She wondered if maybe she did this enough, whoever was above would forgive her of her sins and let her keep a pregnancy.
She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the water before it became difficult to keep her head above water. Her body just felt so heavy. She wondered what pain meds she had grabbed at the store. She couldn’t remember them making her feel this way before. After a few moments of struggling to keep her head up, she felt her body sink down and under the water. But even as she felt water rush into her nose and fill her lungs, she couldn't bring herself to move and get out.
She just accepted her fate.
----
3:30 PM
Bruce sat in his office, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. Something was telling him to check on Y/N. See if she was alright. He knew she had returned around 20 minutes ago, the security cameras had caught her walking in.
He carefully stood from his desk and walked out of his office. He walked down the oddly quiet halls of the manor. A small feeling of pain and guilt started to eat at him as he got closer to the guest room she had been staying in. He knew she was struggling. He knew that she needed him today. But he just...couldn't.
He was selfish. He knew this.
He knew he was so goddamn selfish. Caring about his own feelings rather than helping his wife. She had been the one to physically go through everything. She had been the one to bear that trauma.
He had been so incredibly selfish since she had come home from the hospital. He had even begun to wonder why she even stayed in the manor.
But as he opened the door to the guest room, unrest settled inside him as he saw she wasn't there but the bathroom door was open. It was silent. He had known his wife long enough to know she never was silent in the bathroom. She almost always had music playing.
He pushed the bedroom door further open as he walked further in. Anxiety started to reach a breaking point as he walked into the bathroom.
And time felt like it moved in slow-motion as he saw her state. Her knees bent out of the water, her head under. He saw the three bottles of pills on the counter. He saw the open one read sleep on them. He ran over to the tub, grabbing under her arms and pulling her out.
He bent down, trying to listen for a heartbeat. He felt like his own heart stopped as he heard nothing. Not even a faint thump of one. He quickly moved to her side and started CPR.
Everything still felt like it was moving slower than it was as he pushed down on her sternum. Tears gathered in his eyes as he repeatedly slammed down onto her. As he breathed into her mouth. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop.
It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he finally had gotten the CPR to work. She began to cough profusely, water spluttering everywhere. He sobbed as he heard her shallow breaths break through the air.
He heard the noise of Dick's voice breaking. "Mom?"
He looked at him, seeing both him and Damian staring at the scene in front of them. Staring as their father held their mother in his arms. As tears fell from his eyes, he pleaded for them to call 911.
It was with shaky hands that Dick did it. His words sounded choked back, he kept stuttering. Trying to say what he was supposed to but his mind was running at a million miles and and half a mile a second at the same time. Everything felt fuzzy and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.
That was all he knew.
That was all Dick knew.
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spookykoolkat · 1 year
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introducing...
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🩸♰ 𝐣𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ♰🩸
hello! welcome to my very first kinktober EVER! i will be writing for various people during this season, and have a few already done! currently this list consists of writing for three people — jim hopper, joel miller, eddie munson.
♱ these shorts can run from 500 - 10K words so be aware! i will put the word count with every post :) ♱
♱ these may also be posted late, or twice in a day depending if i can't keep up with my schedule :p sorry in advance! ♱
all dates that say TBA are up for request for any person of your choosing *preferably ones i write for* ^^
send in your request with the date you want, and you can be as detailed or as vague as you want. remember!!!* all my writing is written for plus sized women! so if you're bothered by that then i am very sorry but never in my life have i seen an all plus sized kinktober! so i will be here to represent for my girls 🖤🩷 i don't use many descriptions other than describing the character as fat, so my writing is SPECIFICALLY for fat black and brown women, women of color, and fat women in general 🩷
most of these fics are centered around halloween time, or just the season of fall! very few are just regular spicy stories :p
reblogs, comments and likes are very appreciated 🖤
but without further ado, here we go!
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【 oct 1. exhibitionism 】
▹ joel miller is a stranger who fucks you on a nude beach.
【 oct 2. facefucking/choking 】
▹ eddie munson is your toxic on and off 'boyfriend'.
【 oct 3. dumbification 】
▹ joel miller is your grumpy old neighbor.
【 oct 4. taped 】
▹ eddie munson likes to record you during sex.
【 oct 5. caught 】
▹ joel miller is your dad's coworker, and tommy miller is his brother.
【 oct 6. glory hole 】
▹ eddie munson goes to a brothel for the very first time.
【 oct 7. sex work 】
▹ jim hopper gets bored and finds a cam girl site.
【 oct 8. size kink 】
▹ eddie munson is your skinny, lanky boyfriend.
【 oct 9. cockwarming 】
▹ joel miller just loves to be buried inside of you 24/7.
【 oct 10. phone sex 】
▹ eddie munson can't help himself when he gets on the phone to talk to his best friend at night.
【 oct 11. breeding 】
▹ joel miller aches to see you swollen and round with his baby.
【 oct 12. somnophilia 】
▹ eddie munson uses you while you sleep in his bed.
【 oct 13. orgy 】
▹ joel miller gets an invite to a sex party, only to find you and keep you to himself.
【 oct 14. high sex 】
▹ eddie munson gets you high for the first time.
【 oct 15. mutual masturbation 】
▹ joel miller finds a loop hole in his efforts of not ruining you.
【 oct 16. sexting 】
▹ jim hopper spends a late night at the precinct when his phone starts buzzing away.
【 oct 17. objectification 】
▹ joel miller loves to turn you into his personal sex doll.
【 oct 18. switch 】
▹ eddie munson lets you, a stranger, dom him.
【 oct 19. praise kink 】
▹ eddie munson finds that his new girlfriend loves to be good for him.
【 oct 20. edging 】
▹ joel miller loves to make you work for it.
【 oct 21. corruption 】
▹ eddie munson has always been a bad influence for you.
【 oct 22. thigh riding 】
▹ joel miller like to watch you ride his thigh.
【 oct 23. virgin 】
▹ eddie munson takes your pretty little flower.
【 oct 24. dacrysphilia 】
▹ joel miller loves to make you cry while he's inside of you.
【 oct 25. titty fucking 】
▹ jim hopper loves your double Ds a little too much.
【 oct 26. stigmatophilia 】
▹ eddie munson can't help but get hard every time he looks at your pierced body.
【 oct 27. obsession 】
▹ joel miller refuses to lose you, no matter what it takes.
【 oct 28. anal 】
▹ jim hopper has an insatiable urge to stretch out both holes.
【 oct 29. quirofilia 】
▹ eddie munson's hands never fail to get you embarrassingly wet.
【 oct 30. touch starved 】
▹ joel miller hasn't met anyone as needy as you.
【 halloween: surprise 】
▹ i shake shit up and write something i've never written b4 lol
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medium s/o hcs ; dipper & ford
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requested by ; anonymous (02/06/22)
fandom(s) ; gravity falls
fandom masterlist(s) ; here
character(s) ; dipper pines, stanford pines
outline ; “HIIIIIII can i req dipper and stanford pines with an s/o that is a medium? like can see and speak with ghosts and other supernatural things and is vv superstitious?”
warning(s) ; none, just fluff!
dipper pines
initially dipper had brushed off your superstitions as a matter of upbringing
he’d met many people over the years who absentmindedly threw leftover salt over their shoulder or who veered around ladders out of habit — so, to him, you were far from abnormal in that regard
granted your superstitions were a bit more specific than most and you were a bit more insistent on him abiding by them (at least when you were together) than most — but he just brushed it off as one of your eccentricities
i mean he spends most of his days studying the supernatural so far beyond him to judge someone for trying to protect themselves
then you sat him down and told him about your gift and that’s when everything clicked into place
the knocking on doors before entering any room — even the ones you knew were empty
the refusal to whistle at night — and your scolding of him for doing so
the refusal to enter older buildings
you could see the dead and didn’t want to disturb them — it made so much sense now
he’d question you about your abilities — limits, experiences and what exactly you can and cannot do — and write them all down in his own notebook
and he’d default to you and your experiences when dealing with hauntings going forwards to minimise any upsetting of the dead
but beyond that he wouldn’t treat you any different
he’d just be more open with you about his studies, share in your superstitions and occasionally ask for your help or guidance where needed
and unless you want him to do something else with your gift, he won’t, and things will stay largely the same
stanford pines
your relationship likely only happened because of your gift — with the two of you meeting and becoming colleagues in studying the supernatural after ford heard of your talents and specifically tracked you down
of course for most of the time you knew him ford had been relatively dismissive and business oriented — not forming much of a personal bond so much as he was looking for your insight as a partner, as an equal, in his studies
and you hadn’t minded, merely insisting that he follow your instructions and doesn’t go against your superstitions when with you
it was a small ask and he readily complied, valuing the input of a medium far more than any pride or similar stigma that would have prevented him from going along with your instructions
you were effectively a coauthor for his journals, helping him gain the trust of these creatures, these entities, these communities to aid in a more thorough observation
helping him cross barriers in language and existence with lots of patience and your talent as an underlying foundation to it all
and, as time went on, the two of you inevitably got close enough to form the very beginnings of a romantic relationship
so close that your routines and habits start to mesh together so closely that you memorise his coffee order by heart and he never thinks twice about tossing that handful of salt over his shoulder or broadening his step so he avoids a crack in the pavement
closely intertwined and in love and awkward but it’s perfect for you both — you with your superstitions and him with his sciences
and you’re perfect for each other, sticking by for as long as you can — and returning to that old routine even after those years spent apart when he was lost in that void
but, still, you can recite his formulae off by heart and he pauses at the sight of a black cat or a leaning ladder — avoiding them no matter how much his brother and grandniblings tease him for it
because he knows better — he knows you
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raikkxz · 5 months
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ᯓ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ⑅ walk him like a dog ✯ jb22 .ᐟ.ᐟ
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★ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃﹕﹙ yes/no ﹚ — 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘﹕﹙in which sebastian vettels sister gets her dream job to work along with him, but stumbles across an infamous playboy﹚ — 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒﹕﹙purpose use of lowercase letters only, not sure if there's gonna be another part, use of y/n, black-cat!reader, golden-retriever-ish!jenson, past-playboy!jenson, lowkey-past-toxic!jenson, VERYY light angst [i think], probably not well proofread, lmk if there's anything i missed!!﹚ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆﹕﹙jenson button 22 x f!vettel!reader﹚ — 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓﹕﹙icba checking but it's not much at all imooo fjdkjfdsjfkla﹚ ★ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎﹕﹙this lowkey reminds me of a 2018 wattpad story but fuck it we ball﹚
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˚ ₊ · ͟͟͞͞➳ — ꒰ last work // pinned post // masterlist // taglist // rules // next ꒱
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IT WASN'T SURPRISING for a young, intelligent woman like you to get your dream job in motorsport, especially as the not very known sister of the much loved driver at rbr, sebastian vettel. start of the season, first day, no sweat. couldn't be much harder than what you've been studying for all your years at uni. you just started working for your brothers team, red bull racing. you could not wait. not only did you get to work at the job you've been dreaming of since you were a little kid, but you got to work along side your older brother, who you loved dearly.
even though you were attempted to be knocked down down by some stupid boys when you were younger, it never stopped you from watching f1 races, studying how they built their cars, or researching about your favourite motorsport. you were determined, stubborn and hardworking. the perfect traits for someone to pursue their dream job. with your supportive brother and family by your side, you were thankful that you finally have made it this far.
as the studious young lady you were, it also wasn't surprising that you were shuffling through your folder containing multiple notes, making sure you didn't forget anything. paying too much attention to what you were doing - rather than where you were going, you bumped into a hard wall.
no, wait. not a wall, but rather a fairly tall man in his early 30s. your folder falls to the floor, the pencil tucked behind your ear doing its best to stay put. squatting down to pick up the fallen folder, you mumbled rapidly. "shoot, sorry, that was completely my fault, i wasn't paying attention to where i wa-"
"relax, darling," you heard a chuckle, the british accent sounding familiar in your ears. "you seem to be stressing yourself out." as you stood up, you were faced with the one and only 2009 wdc winner. "..i- sorry." you whispered softly, embarressed as you stared at your shoes.
"it's alright, love. it was an accident." he grinned, leaning over slightly to see your face. "i haven't seen you around here, are you-"
"there you are!!" your older brother, jogs up to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. you seemed to forget all about your little accident as you crack into a smile. "c'mon now, you're going to be late." you giggle as seb drags you along with him.
jenson watched as you and sebastian went over to the red bull garage. his eyes followed your perfect posture, up to how your clothes were neat and unwrinkled, finally stopping and lingering on your face. 'friends' with the 2010 champion, hmm? he watched as you entered the garage. he couldn't wait to meet you again.
"hello there, love." from the corner of your eye, you could see a shadow leaning on the doorframe. that same british accent from the day before, that same faint cologne, that same little smirk that seemed to get on your nerves in the weirdest - but not bad - way.
"mr. button." you nod as you wrote notes that you learnt the day before on your tablet.
"please, it's just jenson." jenson sat next to you, leaning over your shoulder to see what you were writing. he did it like personal space wasn't a thing. "i didn't get your name." he turned your head to face you, a small grin on his face.
"it's y/n." you say, not facing him.
"i take it you know sebastian? y'know, from yesterday." he asks, attempting to start a conversation.
"he's my brother." you press 'save' on your tablet, finally closing it and meeting jenson's eyes for the first time. your gaze lingered for a quick second, taking in his features, observing his demeanour.
jenson paused. "brother? i didn't know he had any siblings." jenson says curiously.
"you don't seem to know a lot of things." you say jokingly, giving him a tiny grin. the man couldn't help but chuckle.
"y/n vettel? such a pretty name for a pretty woman." he winks, thinking his usual playboy charm would work on you just like the other girls.
you can't help but roll your eyes playfully as you packed your things. "see you around, button."
you reached into your handbag to pay for your ice cream. the cashier shook her head, gesturing to a man sitting by the window. "he already paid." you furrow your eyebrows. "oh, alright. thank you." you give the cashier a small smile before turning to where she was gesturing to.
jenson damn button. you could already feel his gaze on you and that lingering scent on him as you sat in front of the driver.
"there's really no need to pay for me, mr. button."
"and there's really no need to call me 'mr. button,' love." jenson chuckles, taking a sip of his coffee.
you sigh. you couldn't be stubborn with him, knowing how hard headed he was from all your years of watching f4 to f1.
"this is a nice little shop, don't you think? perfect place to hangout before the australian gp." jenson leans forward, that same smirk on his face.
"mmm, yeah. they have delicous ice cream." you take a bite of yours, not being able to help but feel guilty for not paying for your ice cream.
"what's your favourite flavour?" jenson asks, trying to fuel the conversation.
"chocolate. basic but the best." you say softly with icecream covered lips.
"that's fair." he chuckles. "i'm a vanilla kind of guy."
from there, your conversation grew longer. you both opened up more, sharing small laughs and recalling past memories. it felt like only minutes to you both, but little did you know it was nearly dinner.
"would you look at that, it's nearly 6pm." you check your phone.
"well, before i say goodbye, do you think i could have the pleasure of taking you out for dinner this thursday?" jenson grins.
"nice try, button, but im busy all week. try again next time, and we'll see." chuckling, you pack up your things. "later!" you leave the icecream shop as jenson's eyes follow.
"later." he mumbles. this felt different. different in a way he's never felt like this before. different in a way that you were different. different in a way he was really falling for someone. different or stupid, his stomach twisted with mixed feelings. different.
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★ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎﹕﹙i genuinely don't know when im gonna have more parts to this 😔﹚ ౨ৎ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓﹕﹙@gray4youuu @c-losur3 @ujws5 @namgification @faithshouseofchaos @isurvived3-11andimproud﹚
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˚ ₊ · ͟͟͞͞➳ — ꒰ last work // pinned post // masterlist // taglist // rules // next ꒱
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notes, comments, reblogs, feedback and follows are greatly appriciated!
!! PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ON OTHER WEBISTES/APPS OR COPY MY ORIGINAL WORK !!
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316 notes · View notes
zivazivc · 7 months
Note
Sorry if this has already been asked before but why did the band break up? And did they break up on decent terms? Do they still talk to each other sometime?
It has been asked before, I just never answered jshfbdjcbh I'm still piecing everything together and stuff is changing or getting tweaked all the time, so I'm always super hesitant about answering these types of questions, afraid that people will take whatever I say as the final answer. So basically what I'm going to answer now will already contradict what I told some people already. And maybe in the future the story might go a little differently too (although I'm pretty satisfied with the current events)
Uhhh, get ready for a long info dump. I didn't expect I'd write this much...
Floyd basically stayed with the band for 8 years (from 14 till 22) and got pretty messed up in the process. The rest of the guys are all quite older than him so I guess I could say they were more responsible, or at least had a better understanding of their own limits (also they grew up in this kind of environment or grew up aware of it, while Floyd was oblivious and naive about all of it) and while they do get drunk and do drugs often, none of them are really dependent on them. They are also pretty good judges of character and know how to avoid trouble. Floyd on the other hand drove in with no breaks and constantly got himself in trouble that the rest (mostly Les) had to drag him out of. He also developed bipolar during this time (in my story Floyd constantly fluctuates between being saturated and being desaturated because of this) and his manic and depressive episodes started getting out of hand after his teenage years. (None of them are aware it's a mental disorder that's making him act so out of character.)
Floyd was becoming miserable because of this and all of his problems pilling up, and started blaming Les for the way he was. Les never argued this which only fueled Floyd to blame him more. In the end he was getting so frustrated and irritable that Floyd constantly tried starting arguments with him, even putting him down and getting aggressive at times because Les gets very unresponsive and closed off during personal conversations (guy is a giant onion of suppressed trauma that Floyd is hellbent on peeling open).
Eventually there was one fight too many, terrible things were said, some objects flew through the air, and Floyd walked out (or Hed kicked him out, I haven't decided yet) with the promise of going home and never seeing them again.
So, yeah, it was very messy and Floyd was the primary asshole, even though he's not really to blame either...
But Floyd didn't make it home (was too scared to sneak through Bergen Town to get to the tree (i don't think i can judge him for that either)) and he just returned to the reckless lifestyle, this time without anyone being there to keep him safe. So if he was messed up before, this is the time period where he got absolutely fucked up. This is also when he got heavily addicted to sour worms. And when he chronically slept around (half the time just to get offered free worms or have somewhere to sleep, other times because he was having manic episodes and was feeling hypersexual). (This is also potentially the period when he had the two eggs with that techno troll, but I'm still thinking if I want that to be canon to the story or not.) During this time he also grew to become very anxious and his self-confidence went to shit when he was being himself.
Then after about three years of that, he bumped into Les at some party. He wanted to dodge him out of shame but Les grabbed his arm and manhandled him outside to talk. Floyd felt like shit about the way they had split up and tried apologizing for all the stuff he had said and done to Les, but Les wasn't having any of that because he wasn't angry at Floyd, he was just worried about him. Les is also insanely empathetic like Floyd, and he knew that Floyd never really meant any of it, and that he was just looking for an outlet when he was hurting. Also he does think he is to blame for the way Floyd ended up.
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Les wanted to know why he didn't go home like he had said (because that was the only reason Les had even let him walk out in the first place). A few exchanged words later and Floyd broke down telling him all the awful things he'd done, and Les promised to help him, feeling insanely guilty. Floyd wondered if he was allowed back in the band but Les made it clear that the band wasn't good for him and that he was never taking him back. Instead Les helped him go though rehab. I don't think trolls have those institutions (or at least not many are aware of them or how they work (I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the Trolls world has internet and cellphones, Mountrageons can keep that for themselves lol)), so it was more or less just Les finding Floyd a job and his own place to stay in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where he had no option but to detox, and constantly checking up on him to make sure he was doing okay. During this time they grew pretty close again. Or maybe the better term would be that Les slowly started putting his walls down again.
Hed needed a while to warm up to Floyd again. He's almost as protective of Les as Les is of him, and he resented Floyd for the way he had treated him.
Flea is pretty phlegmatic when it comes to any sort of arguing or drama. He was casual about seeing Floyd again, they were never super close anyway.
And Liv, she left the band when she and Hed broke up (haven't decided if that happened before or after Floyd left), so Floyd didn't get to see her again after bumping into Les at the party. And I haven't thought yet if they'd ever meet again somewhere later in life. But if they did, I think they'd both be happy to see each other.
Anyway...
Floyd managed to detox and successfully kept the job for about a year, but then he became manic again and messed it all up. After that he returned to his nomadic lifestyle, but he never fell as hard as those three years again. In my story Floyd's life is a constant cycle of getting his life together and fucking it up and booking to the next place. And he and Les are trapped in a never-ending cat and mouse game where they're both trying to fix each other.
So, uh, Les and Floyd are still very close and see each other somewhat often...
(sometimes monthly, sometimes yearly)
Yeah...
I am so fucking obsessed with them I'm gonna hurl. Please take this song before I combust:
youtube
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r4vn · 3 months
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–LATE BLOSSOM
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farleıgh x reader 【1/3】
w.c: 2,183
disclaimers: sensual tension, dilf!farleigh, secretary!reader, beginning of the good stuff be patient please!, oliver is a good person (*gasp*), companyAU!, cutesy, intro, pls dont bored im cooking guys *_*
—synopsis: you went to work expecting a normal day, when suddenly your boss tells you that you have been moved under new management in a new building. you now work right under the man who owns the company, and nearly a year in, he is still full of surprises.
a/n: hello! i was inspired by @girlboybug to write a fic on dilf!farleigh. this is the beginning but i hope you stay with me till the end! please be patient with me my summer has been (fortunately) real busy! ty so much for the support!
– part ²: here.
「divider by @/ cafekitsune」
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you sort of always considered that you got a late start in life. never in academics and such, but in adulthood. you had your first kiss way later than everyone else, at 18. you got your driver license late at 20, due to your fear of driving, and you got your first flat around 22 years of age. you were now 26 and living a very, well, uneventful life. you worked at a real estate corporation for the last 3 years of your life. you worked, sometimes went to the gym afterwards, and went home.
everyone you knew were beginning their lives, getting married, having kids, or simply just moving in with their significant others. you lived in a shared apartment, with no kids, and certainly no lover. your last known boyfriend was back when you were 20. the guy was a major narcissist, who nearly liked to kiss himself in the mirror and never really treated you well. it lasted for about 6 months before you were done with him.
you would occasionally go out with your roommate, oliver. whenever the two of you had the evening off. oliver is relatively a nice guy, who had a small wild side. whenever the two of you would go out he would always outdrink you and you never could catch up with his tolerance. you loved challenging him even if you could never beat him. other than hanging out with oliver, work was practically your life.
who you worked for, was a little more interesting. about six months ago, you switched buildings under different management. it was rather very abrupt in the day. you walked into your job and sat down at your desk outside your boss's room before your then boss asked you why you were here. you were confused, before she explained that you were moved under a different building and why. that morning you quickly drove to your new workplace and practically ran through the cubicles. you finally made it to the elevator and press floor 60, the top floor, and ran down the hall in your black mary janes and short pencil skirt.
you cursed to yourself for wearing such a skirt on this day. why did this have to happen to you of all people? a sudden job switch was not on the list this morning. you finally arrived at office room 636 quickly checked the time. you were exactly 5 minutes early.
oh thank god. i can breathe..
you began to slow your breathing. suddenly, you noticed how this particular office door was auburn brown instead of black like all the other doors. your brows narrowed before finding the nameplate on the door.
" farleigh start
saltburn estates, CEO "
you gulped, darting your head to each end of the ironically empty hallway. you've only worked under general managers and supervisors, never a CEO. why were you even hired for this job? your hand grabbed the door and you pushed it open, knocking simultaneously. you wore a mostly confident smile as you finally faced your new boss.
"good morning, sir." you greeted. the male brunette looked up from his laptop and his brows immediately furrowed.
"who're you?" he asked, clearly perplexed.
"i'm– [y/n, l/n] ..your new secretary. i uh ..i was moved from a different building to fill your last one's spot after she left." you explained. farleigh subtly looked you up and down that morning before smiling gently at you.
"well hello [y/n], wonderful to meet you." your cheeks warmed, nodding at him. he seemed charming for sure.
"same to you." you looked down at your shoes, smiling to yourself. you thought he was pretty, gorgeous even. his curls were tight and defined. he had shiniest brown eyes with the longest lashes and god, his cheekbones fit him so well. the lined-up scruffiness that occupied his jaw and chin made him more intimidating. not in a bad way, but more of a mysterious and intriguing one. he wore his black on black suit very well. you dont think you've seen a more handsome man in your life.
"you like croissants?" he suddenly asked. you were taken back at the sudden random question but immediately nodded. he snapped, and pointed a finger gun at you, smiling.
"fantastic, can you grab us some croissants from the cafe block down? doesn't matter what kind you get. use the company card." you nodded and shuffled your way to the door to exit his office. you couldn't help but smile, getting a feeling that this job may be more eventful than your last.
fast forward 9 months, life ironically got just a little brighter after switching job positions. working for farleigh was the same work, essentially but somehow it felt different. you were looking forward to working nearly every shift now. farleigh's various food requests left you on the craziest goose chases around the city. from getting thai food on the west side of london to vietnamese or very specific macarons on the east.
what made these adventures more fun was due to farleigh texting you throughout your walks or drives through the city. he wanted your number to make sure you updated him on your way there, and for your safety. you never texted him outside of work, you were too afraid he would turn you down in a way, and that would be super embarrassing.
"and so you saw two pigeons break dancing on the sidewalk?" farleigh asked with a grin. you laughed, nodding in response to his question. you placed the 16-count box of assorted macarons on mr.start's desk, smiling.
"well, they sure were not playing rock-paper-scissors. so i went with the realistic decision that they were break-dancing." you grinned. a chuckle slipped past farleighs lips, causing your chest to feel warmer.
"right, [y/n]. because pigeons fighting wasn't another good answer." the brunette playfully deadpanned before laughing one last time. he eagerly opened the box of fresh macarons, grabbing a coffee flavored one. he took a bite and immediately closed his eyes in contentment. you made a mental note he always saved most of the coffee macarons for last. whether it be 2 or 6 in the 16-count, he made sure he ate one first and another last.
"talk to me about today, [y/n]." farleigh mentions. you snap out of your mental folder on your boss and open your laptop up for today's schedule.
"you have a 10:30am call with finance, a 12:00pm call with crisis management, a 2:00pm meeting with advertisement, and a 4:00pm team meeting with floor supervisors." farleigh grabs another macaron, raspberry flavored while listening.
"hmm ..let's reschedule my 2:00pm with the advertisement team tomorrow, that way i won't be completely bored with my one meeting tomorrow with janet." he suggested. janet was the chief operating officer, the COO.
"yes sir." you nod and began rescheduling the preferred meeting. he thanked you, eating the rest of the macaron in his hand. your eyes then glanced over, watching as his thumb wiped the corner of his mouth. he licked his lips, causing you to immediately look away. you felt a little flustered in the face, because anything that man did was attractive to you.
"i think for the brunch meeting on friday i move it to monday ..and ...so i can.." you vaguely listened to farleigh ramble. your boss always rambled out of anxiousness yet he did everything so calmly and smoothly. how he did it was so attractive to you. he wasn't a boy with a high position, but a man with a well-deserving job. the way he carried himself simply lured you in. you blinked away your thoughts of your boss and cleared your throat.
"siiir," you start with a singy-songy tone. "you have 10 minutes to speak to finance. floor 59." you add, chuckling as farleigh caught himself rambling. he pursed his lips together trying to both shut up and not smile. he held up his index finger to signal you to give him a a moment and then rigorously typed away at his computer. a moment passed, and the tall male slowly began standing up out of his chair as he typed.
"sir.." you press on, giggling. he playfully hushed you, finally stopped typing and closed the laptop. farleigh grabbed his blazer off the back of his chair to exit.
being mr.start's secretary has allowed you to learn to relax at work. maybe it's because you never knew the word around your last job, but farleigh would catch you stressing out before telling you to take a breather. he wasn't the most extroverted person you knew but the minimal talking you two did, you cherished. you recapped your day in your mind every evening before bed. if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was your work crush. but of course, you'd never admit that even to yourself. the two of you walk out the office together, side by side.
°°°
it was early evening and many employees were wrapping up their shift. it was a rather smooth day of talking business and building contracts.
"its getting late in the day, you sure you want to stay until i leave?" farleigh questioned, groaning as he sat back down in his own personal office chair. he was drained from speaking to several people today, but glad he could enjoy another few macarons now.
"why not? i don't have anything better to do." you shrugged and laughed sheepishly. farleigh had raised a brow, eating a vanilla macaron.
"you don't go out?" you open your mouth to answer farleighs question and close it, thinking of a way to explain your social status. there was nothing to fully elaborate on really but you really didn't want to look like a loner to mr.start.
"well," you began. "i go out with my roommate occasionally, but other than that my schedule consists of work, the gym, and home." farleigh hums in response. he grabbed another coffee macaron and held it up towards you, offering it. you got up and happily accepted the sweet pastry from the mams slender digits.
"i understand, i'd like to say i'm the same way. but this weekend i am going to a business event. it's not the greece or new zealand but atleast im out of this damned building." the two of you share a laugh at his words. his phone digs, and his brown eyes divert to the notification appearing on his phone.
"oh nonono.." you hear your boss mumble, making you perk up.
"whats wrong, sir?" you ask. he sighed loudly and flipped his phone over, rubbing his scruffy jaw with his hand.
"i uh– my babysitter just canceled on me the day of the business event." babysitter? you tilt your head, trying to keep your shock suppressed but slowly fail.
"you have a child?" you ask, clearly bewildered while farleigh looked up at you chuckling. his pearly whites nearly mesmerized you.
"yes, [y/n] i have a child. a son." you swallow thickly at his words. your mind couldn't help but wander. how have you worked for the ceo of one of england's biggest real estate companies for nearly a year now and never knew he had a son?
"i didn't know that. what's his name if i may ask?" you continued. you didn't want to pry, but this was the type of news that needed questions to be asked. it made you wonder if farleigh was married now.
"his name benjamin. i didn't expect you to know that i have a son. i keep my personal life very separate from work. behind the scenes as such." farleigh explains, picking up his phone to respond to the text.
"and your babysitter just canceled?" you repeat, trying to quickly piece together an image of farleigh with a miniature version of him.
"yes, unfortunately. it's so last minute considering it is thursday and the event is saturday." farleigh sets his phone back down and opens just computer again, sighing. a mildly comfortable silence laid over the room, yet you were still tense. your mind gears kept generating the same idea and you kept silently denying it until–
"i could babysit for you." you blurted out. farleighs fingers stopped typing at the keys and he looked your way. he raised a brow with inquisitiveness, scanning your face to see if you were serious. you were.
"you, would babysit my son?" he asks. you cleared your throat awkwardly, nodding.
"w-why not? i mean– i am your secretary, the closest person to you in his building." farleigh tried his damndest to keep his smile to a minimum as he gazed at you and you watched at the corners of his lips twitched. "be at my place at 1:30pm. i'll send my address the morning of."
you finally smiled, nodding before going back to your work on your laptop till the end of your shift. admittedly, you were excited to meet benjamin, and a little more excited to see mr.start's home.
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jiminjamms · 7 months
Text
sex therapy :: 27. missed me?
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chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. therapist! toji. a very broken marriage (cont.). heavy angst but i am still not gege. infidelity/adultery. corruption. family drama.
word count: 3.0k
notes: i hope everyone has been swell! sending hugs to every corner of the world, and i hope my writing can be your little break from reality. i have also added more chapters to the fic since i cannot wrap up the story in the next few chapters, ha. enjoy! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo
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fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.
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12:33 PM Toji called 12:33 PM He told me that my daughter collapsed in front of the twins? 12:34 PM And you got into a fight with her? 12:34 PM How did that happen? 12:34 PM Are you with her right now? 12:37 PM Answer me please, I need to make sure she’s fine (Missed Call) 12:38 PM Can you phone me back asap? Thx 12:38 PM I’m still in the office right now, wrapped up the weekly meeting with the operating committee 01:01 PM Hello? 01:01 PM Hey, are you there? (Missed Call) 01:12 PM Toji called again, he gave me a rundown, and I have to say… 01:12 PM I’m very, very disappointed in you
Perhaps the better word would be terrified, but Naoya was truly and genuinely astounded.
How the fuck did this happen?
Naoya could feel his breathing grow shallow and his body turn cold as he read through each message from his Chief Operating Officer once, twice, three times. For a while, he stared at his chat history, his shaking thumb hovering over the screen while his mind went blank.
What started as an argument between just you and him now had your father involved. Not only your father, though—but also Mai, Maki, and now Toji?! How bothersome. Of course, you had to drag everyone into this! The world always had to revolve around you.
Naoya could not think straight as his chauffeur sped him back to the office from Mari’s apartment later that day. Even when he returned to his CEO suite, he could hardly focus on his conversations with department heads or strategy discussions with the Board when Daisuke L/N’s messages haunted him like an omnipresent and malevolent spirit.
‘I’m very, very disappointed in you.’
Goddamnit!
Naoya did not miss how your father was absent from the afternoon’s meetings either (although he was not stupid enough to point that out aloud at work when Naoya himself was involved in why), nor did he miss his own father’s narrowed gaze which seemingly lingered on him longer than usual.
Oh goodness, did he know, too?
No, he couldn’t have. Otherwise, Naobito Zenin would have pulled him to the side by now and given him a long and stern lecture.
Yet, when the early evening arrived, Naoya ultimately decided he must talk to you directly.
Not because he actually cared about your well-being. (Ha, as if.) But because he needed to quash the possibility that the rest of his family, particularly his Board Chairman father, could get a whiff of his quarrel with you before all hell broke loose.
Moments like these warranted him to push aside his dignity before things could worsen. 
His greatest fear would be for this recent argument to become a domino effect, as the downfall in this marriage would certainly place him in hot water.
With that, the current Zenin CEO then tapped his phone for your contact.
He needed to check up on you but ended up in voicemail. 
So, he dialed once more. 
Voicemail.
Again. 
Why were you not picking up his calls? 
You always found a way to irk him with how ungrateful you could be. Sure, there was no secret that you hated him. He would admit he was rude, belittling, and patronizing, treating you like a trophy to tote around, a doll to splay at his will, and a woman who needed to learn her place. He knew this and you knew this, because he exclusively tolerated this marriage as a means to accelerate his life. 
Despite everything, he made sure his wife was well-fed and looked after, only for you to throw a tantrum and now get his extended family involved? Ludicrous. Why not focus on the good things about him? Could you not see how he had attempted to reach you at least thirty times throughout the day? (His ultimate reason admittedly was selfish, but that’s not the point.)
Anywho, since when did you think that ignoring him was acceptable?
In a frustrated fit, Naoya tossed his phone into his desk’s paper heap and huffed.
To set things straight, he had made many sacrifices in his life to get to his seat today, like how—back in the day—he had to watch TV anchors praise his older cousin while sipping champagne in the Maldives with…whatever girlfriend he had been with at the time. Life had been hard, but he at last had everything he should’ve been entitled to since birth. This position, this family, and this company belonged to him, regardless of what stupid fucking traditions dictated.
Unsurprisingly, when Naoya took the helm, everyone scrutinized him. Sure, he might have lacked in a few (or, more accurately, a lot of…) regards since he hadn’t been built into the position the way Toji Zenin had been, but having you as his wife made him look good in family conversations and public discourse. 
He just needed a little more time to get people to trust him. Then, once all the pieces clicked into place, he resolved to toss this marriage to the side.
That ‘time,’ he hoped, would be soon.
For now, he just needed to keep you for as long as he sought fit. 
Buzz.
Well, speak of the devil.
You must finally be returning his call.
The sky had gone dark in the windows behind him now, but Naoya practically leaped from his seat, scrambling and shoving papers aside to find his phone buried beneath several printed reports. He hated how his hands quivered as he held the device, not that he could control himself at this point, and he snapped the moment he swiped at his screen.
“Where the hell are you?” Naoya hissed, clipped and impatient.
He did not get an immediate response, which infuriated him even more since he taught you to acknowledge him on the phone. 
But then, he learned why.
Because instead, Naoya heard a low and harrowing chuckle.
“I guess you missed me, kid.”
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The end to a marriage, for obvious reasons, would never be as glamorous as the start to one.
Many would dream for years about a wedding, but far fewer would think the same about a separation.
‘I'm going to file for a divorce.’
Admittedly, you were nervous when you announced the decision aloud in a crowded room for many eyes to see and ears to hear.
After all, even if you recognized the need for a change in your matrimony, you feared the consequences. You didn't want to cause your families to grow apart or your fathers to resent you. In addition, Naoya had been such a dominating fixture in your life these past few months, and he had led you to believe your days without him would be meaningless.
However, no longer could you set aside your emotions for his sake, nor would you expend extensive effort to salvage your marriage for other’s desires. Your sole purpose henceforth was to live a satisfied life without sacrificing more than what you already have for a husband who hardly look your way.
As a result, when you acknowledged divorce as the best possible solution to your demise, you were grateful for the emotional support and relieved faces from your worried father, the younger teenagers, and your trusted therapists.
Especially Toji. 
“Come with me,” the very man ordered once you stepped into his apartment’s corridor with him. 
Everyone else had been brought down to the apartment’s lower level after the earlier discussion in the master bedroom, with Megumi forced to take on the role as host in his father’s absence. The younger Fushiguro might be aloof and sometimes awkward, but word had gotten around that he was a good chef with his aunts nagging at him to prepare dinner.
“C’mon, don’t you want to show us what recipes you have learned on TikTok?” 
“...No, not really. Can we just order KFC?”
The other conversation that drifted upward was between your father and the other three therapists, which made sense given that they all used to be colleagues back when Toji had been the CEO. 
There was laughter, chatter, and the entire brouhaha brought ease to your nervous heart. 
“Ladies first,” Toji said at some point after you had trailed behind him. He had taken you several meters ahead, opening the door to invite you inside. “This is my home office.”
You did not yet see the point in him doing a House Tour 2.0, but you walked in upon his gesture anyway. The hardwood floor beneath you felt warm, your body heating up slightly despite the coolness in the air. 
Toji kept his office space as tidy as the rest of his abode. He had a white leather couch situated by the doorway and a workspace configuration to the side with desk lamps, an expensive chair, and a dual monitor setup. 
Above his screens, Toji probably had fifteen accolades in cherry wood frames, each to showcase his achievements as countless magazines named him the best leader, the top executive, and the most promising innovator. 
What caught your attention, however, was the wall beside his workstation. 
There was a corkboard. 
At first glance, the tacked-on magazine cutouts and photograph snippings seemed like a messy litter on the brown surface, but thin red strings—which made this look like a detective movie prop—connected one piece to another and suggested an order to the chaos. 
“What is this?” you asked, a question not directed to anyone in particular as you neared the corkboard without waiting for Toji’s permission.
Upon closer distance, the vague letterings and images became clear.
The newspaper cover story fastened at the very center read in big bold print: “Zenin Corporation Announces New CEO.” 
As the realization dawned that this was what Toji meant to show you, the man’s measured footsteps came up from behind you. He stopped at your side, watching how you inspected each element on the corkboard as though his room was your laboratory and he was your professor.
“The World Economic Forum estimates that more than 5% of global GDP is lost to corruption around the world each year,” he began, crossing his thick arms firmly over his chest. “Many articles you see here had been published online only to be taken down not even a few hours later. I suspect that Naoya this year alone has spent hundreds of thousands, if not millions, bribing the Japanese media to curate the public image he needs.” He then pointed around. “Look for yourself.”
You would have called Toji out for being a total creep if the objective of this collection had not been obvious. With scarlet threads weaving together to reveal an elaborate web of deceit, Toji had been curating an exposé.
There was one photo from your wedding day. Standing at the altar with Naoya, you looked so happy and blissful back then, the vibrant bouquet in your hands a colorful contrast against the pristine white of your Vera Wang wedding gown, your face radiant with a smile oblivious to the heartache that would come.
This publication, you have seen before.
What you did not recognize, however, were the articles dated from nearly a year ago, well before your wedding day, with even more printed five months ago, two months ago, one week ago…
…and reading the titles made you feel sick.
Japanese Hotshot Shares Intimate Kisses with Rumored Girlfriend Photos Reveal Recently Married Executive’s Secret Affair? Exclusive: Zenin Corporation CEO Spotted in Mexico with Alleged Lover
The accompanying pictures had the same two subjects in plain clothes and baseball caps, showing off little skin to reveal their identities to prying busybodies. Yet, upon an immediate glance, you recognized Naoya Zenin as the taller figure and assumed his very precious ladyfriend must be the other.
Photographers had snapped the two embracing each other in a cab’s backseat, sharing a secret kiss after a luxury mall date, and holding hands while stepping into a private plane. 
All to say, you were revolted. 
The more you mulled on these printouts, the more you could feel visceral disgust build in your chest. 
To think you once contemplated saving a marriage with a man like that. Whatever his plan was for him and this woman, did he intend to make you a side character to their romance until the day you would die?
Your gaze darted around, and the photo with the most unobstructed view of their faces placed you on pause.
All of a sudden, a hard lump formed in your throat because, Holy shit, she’s…stunning. 
Seeing the woman who your husband had had his sights on immediately unlocked a whole new level of insecurities within you. 
No wonder Naoya could not bring himself to be married to you when he had her. 
The woman was exquisite, to say the least. Despite the picture’s poor quality, you noticed her bright elegant face, plump pink lips, and long full lashes—precisely the characteristics that would turn heads in a crowded room. In fact, you secretly wished that you possessed her overflowing pulchritude as well.
If she was an angel from your point of view, she must also be in Naoya’s eyes all the more. 
You gingerly drew a circle around her with a finger.
“Is she his mistress?” 
Why did you even ask that? You already knew the answer. But, you wanted to confirm the facts rather than satisfy your curiosity. 
Meanwhile, Toji ran his index finger very slowly over his lower lip. 
He answered a while later. 
“Yes.” As you had expected. Then, he added, “But she’s also my ex-wife.”
What—
Your jaw dropped to the trenches. 
If you thought tonight had been filled with enough revelations, this one really sealed the deal. 
His…ex-wife?!
Unlike the man before you, hiding your deepest emotions had never been your forte. Instead, you had gone stiff as your mind reeled in shock.
“She’s…Tsumiki’s mom,” you said quietly at the realization. 
Yes, you have heard a lot about her. However, to make the connection between the lady in the picture and the woman who owned currently Naoya’s (and previously Toji’s) devotion stirred awake a thousand emotions. 
Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. 
Megumi had told you plenty about her before.
‘Treated me like a bag of shit, spent all my dad’s money on her shopping sprees every weekend, and even neglected her own daughter—my stepsister.’
Her pretty face could only go so far in disguising her dark heart. 
With this understanding, you finally grasped Toji’s bitterness when he first met you. How fickle fate had been to him. Comical, even! For his younger cousin to take his succession rights to the clan, his executive position in the company, and—to top everything off—his wife from his family. Only for you (of all eight billion people in the world) to show up at Toji Fushiguro’s office asking for sex therapy?
Now, you comprehended why Toji and Naoya despised each other. 
In addition, you understood why Toji and his colleagues had been suspicious of you. Trust takes time to build yet a moment to shatter, and all of them have had this trust broken before. By Naoya, yes. 
But also, by her.
“What’s her name?” you had to ask, ignoring the searing ache in your heart.
Your therapist, on the other hand, tried to play off his vexation by shoving his hands into his front pockets.
“Mari,” and also, “She still uses my last name.”
Wow. 
The audacity that some people in the world have.
“Here let me help.”
“Hm?”
At first, you did not quite get what Toji was referring to until he started tearing the magazine photos and newspaper stories.
Wordlessly, you gawked at him, both in confusion and astonishment.
“Why—”
Before you could complete the thought, Toji had placed everything into a neat stack and thrust the pile into your hands. “There,” he said with finality. “If you are to file for a divorce, take these to Naoya. See what the bastard has to say. Staying with him any longer would be a fatal flaw.”
Toji had never seen a single interaction between you and his cousin in person, yet he could confidently say your husband was the hamartia in your life. Perhaps the signs had always been obvious. Or perhaps, his recent experience in a toxic marriage allowed Toji to notice the red flags in yours from miles away.
“If you give him too much time, he’ll come up with his offenses,” he went on. “We don’t need to outfight him, though. We simply need to outthink him.”
Something about Toji’s emerald eyes gleamed in a way you had not seen before. 
It was a different side to him, one where he planned and strategized, a flickering core of the businessman he used to be.
“Hi.” 
You and Toji froze at the sound.
Megumi’s voice had startled you two as the boy peered in from the hallway, waving a phone in his hand—your phone. “Sorry to interrupt but, uh, he called again.”
Interestingly enough, Megumi did not need to explicitly mention a name for you all to know who he referred to. As your screen flickered on, you noticed the numerous missed calls and text messages that had flooded your notifications, all from one particular culprit, no doubt. 
Instead of embarrassment, your body surged with aggravation at how your husband suddenly seemed desperate to know your whereabouts. 
So now he cared, huh?
Before you could retrace your steps towards the door, however, Toji had already done so. He retrieved the device from his son’s hands and started dialing a number from your phone. 
You tried to stop him. “Hey, what are you—”
But Toji dismissed you, pressing your phone to his ear as the call began to ring, and his lips curled into a wicked grin when the other line must have picked up.
“I guess you missed me, kid.”
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end notes: I am excited to show the interaction between Toji and Naoya—I have been thinking about their conversation for a long time! This chapter is less of a whirlwind and more of a setup for the rest to come. Thank you for your support!
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