#i would like One day where i get to work in peace without nonstop interruptions and all my devices work. ONE.

[thenightisland]

everything that runs on electricity has refused to cooperate this week. the self check out machine shut down as i was scanning things bc its cameras became convinced that i was trying to rob walmart of a two dollar bag of instant mashed potatoes while i was scanning them. IT installed a new computer in my office that i did not want nor ask for and naturally it's horrible and i spent hours messing with it to make it tolerable again. the program i use all day every day for work has had server issues so just keeps crashing or refusing to start and IT's response is a shrug emoji. the new computer does not like my printer and the whole thing had to be reinstalled. one of my apps was glitchy on my phone and nothing worked so i uninstalled and reinstalled it only to discover that i made that account under an email address that no longer exists so i lost my account and had to rebuild from scratch. my own laptop decided to update and i wasn't fast enough on the postpone update button and so spent an entire evening undoing all the AI and bloatware nonsense it installed. the update also fucked up my audio drivers so i've been trying to fucking fix those all night. i am so close to spending the rest of the week just reading by candlelight to avoid anything that runs on electricity right now.

[alreadyblondenow]

Never get to hold you | Lee Haechan

Lee Haechan x female!reader x Lee Jeno

▸ Fluff, smut, angst? Haechan is poor ▸ Part of To All the Members I’ve Loved Before: Dear 127, hosted by me ​

Summary: Growing up in a fucked up household, Haechan has always been thankful for his friend Jeno for treating him like his real brother. From giving him food, to letting him stay in their big house, to lending him money for school. Jeno has always been an angel. Until one day, Haechan found another angel, you. Finally his life is now brighter than ever… but not for long, because Jeno likes you too. Will Haechan let this once in a lifetime love slip and give you to his true friend who’s always been nice to him? Or will he be selfish?

Work count: 6k flat amazing

Warnings: Smut, toxic household, mentions of parents fighting, Haechan is poor here, if you are not okay with the idea please click away. Unprotected sex, couch sex, mentions of rough sex, overstimulating, Haechan smoked one cigarette, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, mentions of Haechan’s sister, break up, slight cheating? but not really A/N: Pure fiction. Haechan’s character here is inspired by Justin Fooley from 13 reasons why. And the friendship is inspired by Bryce and Justin’s friendship. hehe. Originally this is a cheating au, but I’ve been writing a lot of cheating au so.... lets do the right thing for now. HAHA. also I did not include a lot of smut just because it doesn’t fit the story so i hope you understand that and still enjoy reading this. <3 

A peaceful night that’s what Haechan longs for. A night free from the screaming and shouting of his parents, the glass shattering and never-ending blaming. He turns the volume up of the song he’s listening to from his mp3 player, closed his eyes, and tried sleeping. It’s not calming or whatsoever but it’s better than hearing the bickering.

For Haechan, sleep does not fix anything but it sure does make him feel better once he wakes up and finally faces another fun day in school. Yes. That’s right, Haechan loves going to school for it makes him feel like he’s a normal person. Not everyone in school knew how fucked up his life is and that’s another thing why he loves going to school. School and his friends have been his escape.

“You’re coming tonight right?” Jeno sneaks from behind and swings an arm on his best friend.

“Of course I’ll be there. I have to drive your drunk ass home-“ Haechan jokes but he was soon interrupted by something so unfortunate.

His shoes gave up on him.

“I think I should go and get this fixed before class starts. Not again,” Haechan said, stopping to remove his worn-out shoes and check them further while Jeno watch him.

“I have my Balenciaga shoes in my locker I don’t use that anymore. If you don’t want to keep it or accept it, at least use it for the day,” Jeno smiles at his friend and pats his back. But before Haechan could even say no to his best friend, Jeno is long gone for the school bell rang already.

Every since Haechan is new in town, Jeno has been a good friend to him. Both very different boys but they are brothers by heart and got each other’s back. For Haechan, Jeno is an angel to which he almost feels bad for not giving something in return for all the things Jeno gave him. Not just material things but Jeno offers financial help to Haechan too, in fact, Jeno is the reason why Haechan’s mother got a job at a store Mrs. Lee owns.

So you see, being a loyal and true friend is the only thing Haechan can give in return for now.

After school, Haechan fixed his wretched shoes before going to his part-time job. There, while he looks over the convenience store, he does his homework on the side and makes sure that he studies in advance so he can get closer to the college and scholarship that he’s aiming for and finally get out of this hell hole.

“You like studying so much?”

A voice made him drop his pen and went to work immediately. Punching the cashier and putting the stuff you bought in a plastic bag with a shy smile. A shy smile that miraculously lights up your day, he’s like a sun you thought.

“College. You’re new here right? I saw you earlier with the student body president. I’ve been there, being new in town will get easier... with the right people” Haechan says.

“Well, I had a bad first day, but thank you.... Hyuck. It’s great to know that eventually, everything will get better ” you read his name tag and smiled so sweetly at him. Oh, you wish it’s not obvious that you’re flirting.

When you left you’re all he could think of. He can’t stop thinking about your smile, how it’s obvious that you’re flirting with him but he thinks you’re so cute rather than flirty, he even beats himself up for not asking your name and making you stay longer.

As he walks his way home under a quiet night and with nothing in his head but your smile, he replays his only memory of you in his head while smiling alone and looking like a complete idiot. But when he was just a few walks from his house, he hears the screaming and shouting again.

He ran towards the door and straight to his sister’s room, not giving a fuck about why his parents are fighting. He hugs his little sister who’s in tears and basically shaking from fear, keeping her close to him to let her know that he is here now. And this is the sadness and reality he had to face every day.

“You scared?” He whispers but his face shows no fear to show his sister that his big brother is ready to protect her.

“Where were you?” She whines and snuggles to her brother more.

“I was at work, sorry. You know something wonderful happened to me today,” Haechan ready himself to tell his sister how you two met for the first time. She has always loved Hyuck’s stories and she’s always interested in the people his brother is friends with, especially Jeno.

“Well, why didn’t you ask her name? Will you see her again?” She asks eagerly. “I want more stories about her, she sounds sweet even though your conversation was too short”

“Yeah I know. Maybe I can talk to her by Monday and tell her, ‘hey my little sister wants us to be friends’” he jokes.

And so the night went on, exchanging stories with his sister until his parents stopped fighting and eventually his sister fell asleep in his arms. To be honest,  he didn’t want to leave his sister alone after what happened tonight, but he promised Jeno that he will be there so he needs to be there.

Going to Jeno’s birthday celebration in a bar downtown is the last thing he wants to do after having a hard night. The bar was loud, packed, and it’s giving him a headache. So he promised himself that he will stay here for half an hour only, which did not happen because his heart feels heavy.

So he went out to have a cigarette and to clear his mind, having a debate with his conscience whether he’s going back in or not.

“The answer is no,” you said from behind which made him turn immediately and face you. “I’m watching you for a few minutes already and your feet is obviously hesitating to go back inside”

“It’s that obvious? Am I really that easy to read?” he takes one final hit from his cigarette before he throws it away. You nod with a smile to answer his question. It’s obvious that you’re happy to see each other again. “Why aren’t you inside? It’s cold out here,” he would give you his jacket if only he’s wearing one right now but he’s not.

“Everyone is loud inside and I feel like I’ve had enough of the screaming and overflowing booze, you know?” You answered awkwardly. Little did you know that Haechan feels the exact same thing. “But I should probably go and not ruin the silence here too so-“

“I can’t stop thinking about you” Haechan finally blurted out. He didn’t mean to but those are the words that came out from his mouth the moment he saw you turn and was about to walk away. “I don’t even know your name but my sister thinks your cool” he added, trying to sound fun and interesting. Heck, he’s trying to make you stay.

And it's working.

“You have a sister and you told her about me?” Haechan nods with a shy smile, “Well what did you tell her?” You asked with a flirty tone.

“I told her that I’ve never seen a smile so beautiful and that I feel stupid for not asking your name” he shamelessly flirts and came closer to you, making your heart beat faster and making you really nervous.

“Take me some somewhere quiet and I’ll tell you my name” you flirted back.

And without any second thoughts, he brought you to a place where you two can laugh out loud freely, and there's no loud music to bother the moment. You introduced yourself and all he did was giggle and tell you that his little sister will be happy about this. Haechan made you laugh nonstop, telling you the happy memories he holds dear and even small parts about his life, without fooling you and making you think that he’s someone else.

Now that he gets the chance to talk to you again, he wanted to embrace you while he pours all his honesty to you and hopes that you don’t mind liking someone fucked up like him. But Haechan thought that telling you that he’s poor as a rat on your first night together is not something worth staying for, so he shrugged it off and continue asking more about you.

Until you both lost track of time and he offered to walk you home, which you think it’s sweet.

“Do you want to have some water first, before you go? It’s a long way back. M-my parents are not home so no need to be shy,” you offered with a hint of other intentions that he surely understood. And thankfully he accepted.

The moment you closed the door, he stopped you from opening the lights, his hands are on your face and your lips touched immediately. Returning the kiss without hesitation, heads turning continuously and both tongues are wanting for something more.

You motion him to the couch and push him until he falls on the cushions and let out a quiet giggle. It was a pity that you wouldn’t see his bright smile. “You okay with this?” he slips his hand inside your shirt and smoothly removed it.

“More than okay,” you said and started to undo his belt and remove his pants. Soon, you’re both wearing only your underwear while grinding on top of each other. Shy to make a move but your kisses and moans say otherwise. You’re the one who initiates it this time, unclasping your bra and making him knead and cup your boobs shamelessly.

“Do I need a condom?” he asks, removing his boxers brief, throwing it on the floor, and immediately slipped his hand inside your panties while you’re on top of him kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.

You moaned softly when his fingers made contact with your very wet slit and told him, “No. But pull out?” he nods and told you he will. And because of that assurance, you finally removed your panties and went on top of him.

“It’s hard to pull out if you’re going to be on top, maybe next time?” He says and effortlessly switched your positions, putting him on top of you. He pulls away for a second and pumped his cock in between your opened legs, came in closer to kiss you before he pushes his in.

His kisses were gentle and sweet like he’s not about you fuck you in the next few seconds. But when he finally lined his cock and slowly thrust in, both of you moaned and forgot that you were kissing for a second. Sharp gasps escaped your mouth while delicious groans escaped from his. Slowly he takes his time pushing in and out without thrusting all the way, which surely builds the momentum and it definitely made you want more of him.

“I’ll go deeper” thankfully he noticed and pushed in finally. Thrusting a little bit quicker than earlier while his fingers are busy drawing circles on your clit.

Soon, you’re both on edge. Too shy to admit it but you can’t stop clenching and unclenching around him, “Stop doing that,” he says and kissed your neck, bitting the shell of your ear to hear you giggle while he makes you moan deliciously.

He came first as expected because you can’t stop moaning behind his ears and making him feel good with your tight walls. He shoots his cum on your stomach, away from your pussy while his other hand is continuously drawing fast circles and making you cum in no time.

You shivered like crazy and tried closing your legs but Haechan got a hold of it and overstimulated you.

“Wild-brutal, that’s you” you said while you continue to shiver, curl yourself in a ball and beg him to stop.

He kisses your body, avoiding his cum but still managed to suck your nipples good as you come down from your high. When you’re finally calm, you reached for the tissue on the coffee table to wipe yourself clean but he snatched the tissue from your hand and did it himself. After that, you moved your body and make room on the small couch so he can lie beside you, using his arms as your pillow, keeping you close to his sweaty body.

“You’re the second girl I kept in my arms tonight,” he says softly. Looking into your eyes directly. You know that it's his sister and it made you smile and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Can you keep it that way then?” you said, softly like how he spoke. He nods and tightens his hug.

“To be honest I feel like I’m a slut right now because I slept with you first... on my first day of school, my first day of meeting you-“

“Sssh. You think too much. You’re not a slut. I like you, you like me. It’s a normal reaction” he kisses your lips and your cheeks one too many times to make you giggle and eventually let go of your thoughts. “I have to go back to my friends” he added.

“What- No, stay, please. My parents wouldn’t mind” you begged but he shook his head and got up from his comfort.

“I’ll find you again”

“Well give me your phone” you said, eager to make him stay. Eager to stay in his life.

“I don’t have one because I can’t afford one” Haechan was shy to tell you the truth but he didn’t want to lie to you. But of course, you understand him instead of prying. You sat up, kissed him sweetly and told him,

“It’s fine. You know where I live, so we're going to do this old school then” you giggle and make the most of the few minutes you have with him. He reached for your panties and helped you wear them together with your shirt, leaving a soft kiss on your lower abdomen.

“Is that fine? Going old school?” He asks smiling and asking for another kiss.

“More than fine, that means I get to see you always” he giggled and told you that’s right and continued wearing the rest of his clothes.

The next day, Haechan woke up with a smile on his face by just merely thinking about you and thinking of going to your house tonight and surprise you after he hangs out with Jeno at the amusement park.

As his day went on with his best friend, all he thinks about is you. Did you eat already, how was your sleep, do you think of him, and what are you doing now? These are questions that he wanted to ask you because he misses you already, but also, these are the questions that attracted the universe into putting you both in the same place.

Just a few minutes ago, Haechan is thinking about you but now you’re right in front of him... with a blindfold at The Kissing Booth and about to kiss Jeno.... Jeno of all people.

There, Haechan stood and watch you and Jeno kiss in front of the audience. Watching your friends take a video and giggle as much as they want because you have no idea who you’re kissing right now. Oh they would kill to be in your position and taste Jeno’s lips. While you... you think about the gentleman who made you laugh over and over again last night, the gentleman who’s honest about everything, and the gentleman who made you feel good on your family couch last night.

And when you removed your blindfold, you can’t help but feel disappointed. It’s not Haechan you’re kissing, he hasn’t found you again.

When Jeno came closer and attempted to kiss you again, you pushed him away in front of many people, smiled and whispered, “We had our fun already, I think that’s enough. Sorry, I was hoping you’d be someone else” and came down from the stage to join your friends.

The disappointment in Jeno’s face was evident. He felt like he violated you or something and wanted to apologize further but you didn’t give him a chance. He saw Haechan standing in the corner with a soda in his hand and joined him, “That was something. I feel like I was taken to another dimension while I was kissing her. Damn I like her already” Jeno admits, having no clue that Haechan knows exactly what he’s talking about.

“Hey.... Haechan” you taped his shoulder which made him and Jeno turn around. You didn’t want to be bold and flirty with him in front of his friend so you just said hey.

Jeno was shocked to the core when you approached his friend and not him, and he was even more shocked to see you smile so sweetly at Haechan. “You know each other?” he asks you both nervously.

“Yes”

“No”

“N-no. Not really. Dude, everyone knows her. New girl in town plus she came by the store during my shift yesterday after school” Haechan explains. Completely denying that you two shared something special the other night.

Good thing Jeno believed and accepted Haechan’s explanation, so this time he didn’t waste any more time and shoot his shot. “I want to apologize to you. Can we go for a walk? Alone together-“

“Good idea man. I think I should go. I have a shift at the store, s-see you at school. B-both of you,” he says and awkwardly walks out and left you with Jeno.

You wanted to follow him, you would rather want to watch him work at the store than be with Jeno and waste your time strolling around the park, you’ve been wanting to be with him ever since you opened your eyes this morning and now you can’t believe that he denied you in front of his friend.

The whole time he was walking in circles around his neighborhood, Haechan can’t stop thinking about you and Jeno. Even hating the universe more for making him and Jeno like the same girl. Fuck, he murmured frustratingly until he came to a thought that maybe life brought you to Haechan’s life so he could finally give something back to his best friend.

Maybe he’s doing the right thing by letting you and Jeno get to know each other.

“You’re a fool,” his sister teases him while he watches her brush her teeth. Haechan just snorted and let out a small laugh knowing that his little sister is smart and that she’s growing up wise.

“But when you grow old you can’t just commit to something or someone if you know to yourself that you can’t. Be honest,” he kisses her sister good night and tucked her to bed. Wishing for her sister to grow up strong and smart, and not like him.

///

After a few weeks of seeing Jeno and going out on dates with him, you force yourself to think that what happened between you and Haechan is just a one time thing. That you were just horny teenagers that night who both had a bad day that’s why you thought it was something special.

It’s not that you’re using Jeno to forget Haechan, but Jeno is the one making his moves and trying so hard to impress you. He’s almost as nice as Haechan you thought. Maybe that’s why they’re best friends, and maybe that’s why now you look forward to seeing Jeno every day because you see Haechan in him.

Until one night, you and Jeno had a rather hot night that leads you two to his bed. Sex with Jeno is rough and fast and to be honest you forgot how many condoms he used because the sex was that good. And in that very moment, you realized that the only difference between Jeno and Haechan is the way they fuck. Jeno made you forget Haechan whenever you two are in bed and that made you want Jeno to fuck you more each day.

But Jeno is a natural sweetheart, a lover boy who shows you that he is a great man and a good person. “I know we fuck too much and it's obvious that something is bothering you” he says, hugging you closely while you’re on top of him after a very good car sex. “You can tell me, you know?” he added but you just shook your head no. “Okay okay, I understand. I love you. Whatever you’re going through or whatever that’s bothering you, continue to lean on me. Use me if you must,”

And right then and there, you decided to return the love Jeno is giving you.

It was not easy but it was worth it. Jeno loved you so much, more than you could ever imagine. You spend your senior year together, made memories each day, have good sex after school or during weekends, be the life of the party together, and meet each other’s family.

“Are you happy with me?” he whispers behind your ear while he hugs you from behind.

“What kind of question is that?” you said, turning around to meet his eyes and rake his hair away from his face. Not giving a fuck about the people watching you two flirt in the middle of a crowded place with drunk teenagers.

“Just a question. My way of checking if I’m still a good boyfriend” he admitted shyly. You rolled your eyes and came closer to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips which soon became heated and his hands roamed freely around your body.

“Mhmm. I'm happy, I love you” you whisper and you mean it.

“I love you too” he smiles and continues the kiss.

And while you two are in your own private world minding your business, Haechan watches from afar with a beer in his hand. Jealous, but not mad. Happy, but for you and his best friend. You deserve each other, he thought.

So as you and Jeno make your relationship strong and pour all your love on each other, Haechan became even more hardworking, focused more on his studies, and looking for more jobs to save more money. It was his way of forgetting you.

During a party that Jeno threw in his house, everything was intensely wild and everyone got drunk during the party, except Haechan because he was late due to his shift from one of his part-time job.

He saw you laughing with your friends near the poolside. You look beautiful tonight, as always. And at the same time, you look drunk already and all he wanted to do is take care of you but that’s not his job.

“Great that you’re here man, ugh. I’m so drunk” Jeno whines, almost about to throw but he’s still in control. “Here. Promised her dad I’d bring her home, but obviously, I can’t now. I can’t drive while I’m like this, knowing that she’s in the car with me. Too risky. Please dude, thank you”

And just like that, the responsibility and the power to take care of you is passed unto him.

“Baby, Haechan will bring you home- I can’t drive” Jeno admitted to you. Giving you his jacket before he walks you towards his car.

“W-what? Let me stay then, I’ll take care of you. Then you can drive me home when you’re sober” you said but your boyfriend said no and told you you’re as drunk as him. So you didn’t have a choice but to go inside the car with Haechan. He watched you two kiss goodbye and say your I love yous with each other before he drives away and takes you home.

The drive was silent. You didn’t dare to open your mouth and ask how he’s been, he didn’t dare to open his mouth and tell you that you’re beautiful. And it stayed like this until he reaches your house and parked in front of it.

“Do you remember the night that you walked me home?” you started, and you think it’s the alcohol that's talking. Haechan just nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “I wish it never happened. I wish I didn’t flirt back then and went back inside that bar instead of asking you to take me somewhere quiet” you admitted, feeling your heart break but you can finally breathe better now that you told him what you really feel. But deep inside you didn’t mean it. You’re just saying that because you’re still mad at him for denying you.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and reached for you, shamelessly hugging you, and placed a sweet kiss on your temple. You feel his tears and that made you hug him back. Staining his shirt with your tears that you kept for months.

“I’m sorry. I can’t give you what Jeno can give you. My life is a mess, I’m a trash and you deserve someone better. Someone who can take care of you, I can’t” he hugged you a little bit tighter to let you know that he’s sincere. And after a few minutes of silence, he explained his part to you and you listened attentively not because he owes you an explanation but because you miss his voice.

“When I was new here, bullies just won't stop teasing me, then Jeno became my friend and suddenly they all stopped. Jeno didn’t mind if I’m poor, he just wanted a brother and found it in me. That’s why whenever I’m in need he’s always to the rescue, my books, my mother’s job, this Rolex watch that I only use whenever I need it at work. I remember he gave this to me because he didn’t want to give me cash because he was afraid that will make me feel small. So instead he gave me this watch and expected me to pawn it. But I can’t because it’s like a token of our friendship”

“I get it. Bro code” you said calmly and watch him nod. “But who are you to tell me who to love. My heart still belongs to you when Jeno was courting me, I think about you when he kisses me-“

“Do you still feel the same way?” he blurted out, looking at your lips and thinking of kissing it one last time before you have your closure. But he won't.

“I love Jeno but you still have this great effect on me, you still have my heart” you admitted.

“I’m sure you understand me now. Why I don’t want to hurt my friend” you nod because you do understand him, you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend either, “He’s an angel” Haechan added.

When Haechan left and drove away, you feel like he took your heart away with him. Like that one specific night you had sex with him and you didn’t want him to go. You know what you said. You don’t want to hurt Jeno and you do love him, but what can you do? Your heart still belongs to Haechan.

After that understanding with Haechan, you suddenly became cold towards Jeno and all you could think about is Haechan. Obviously, Jeno can see right through you. He knows you, whenever something troubles you, you will keep it to yourself and you won’t tell it to him. So he made a way to cheer you up, but it ended up annoying you.

He invited you to his house to have a sleepover and movie night with him. The thing is, Jeno knew you love having sex with him so the moment you two are alone in his room with all the lights off and only his big flat-screen TV is on, he tried putting you in the mood and became way too touchy.

“Stop” you whine as Jeno starts kissing your neck while his hands roam free around your body. It feels good you can’t lie, but you’re not in the mood so you pushed him a little too hard which made him even more frustrated.

“What did I do wrong? I wish you could open up to me more, Y/n” he gets up from his bed and gave you space. “You’ve been like that for days and days already, I don’t know if I did something wrong. Baby, just tell me. I’ll fix it,”

And there it is. Your very reason why you loved him “Why do you have to be so nice?” you murmur and sat beside him. You knew that this isn’t the right time to tell him about Haechan, but he asked what's bothering you so you’re going to tell him the truth and do the right thing. Bravely, you told him every inch of your feelings, the truth about you and Haechan, and hopes that he will not get mad at you or his friend.

He listened. While Holding your hand. Close to tears but he won’t cry in front of you. Not yet. But now that he knows the truth about you and his best friend, he felt like he stole you from him.

“Don’t be mad at him, he just feels obligated to give back to all the kindness you have done to him and his family” you wait for his reaction. You expect him to get mad or throw a fit but all he did was kiss your knuckles, hold them tightly, and kept you close while he can.

“So what now? Do you need time? Space even? It hurts like hell, I must admit but I can’t force you to stay” he says, with tears in his eyes and trying so hard to look strong.

“I need space from the both of you, choosing is not easy. I don’t want to hurt you in the future Jeno” you said.

“I can’t force you to stay, but I can beg right? I love you-“ He cups your face and leaves too many kisses on your lips, saying he loves you over and over again, begging you to please choose him.

“I’m sorry Jeno, please don’t beg. You don’t deserve this,” you made him stop begging and pull him into a tight hug. Inviting him to come to bed with you and savor this night together while you can because, on the next day, you will leave him.  

///

When you broke up with Jeno and focused all your energy on school, you walk almost every day from school to your house just so you can sort out your thoughts.

Jeno stopped begging you to come back after a few months and got himself a new girlfriend while Haechan… well, he’s doing his best with avoiding you. Still, breaking up with Jeno is a wise decision because now it’s clear that you don’t love him like how you love and long for Haechan.

“Fuck” you curse at the rain for pouring out of nowhere and you have no choice but to enter the store that Haechan is looking after. Just like the rain, you came out of nowhere and shock him. But shocking him and ruining his peace was not your intention, you’re just waiting for the rain to stop so you can go and walk again.

Shivering because of the store’s air conditioning, you hug yourself to keep yourself warm in every way you can but it’s not enough. You tried going out again but the rain kept pouring and it started to rain hard again when you tried and open the door. But then you heard the sound of the air conditioning being turned off, and Haechan is behind you holding the remote and some extra clothes.

“You’ll get sick if you stay wet. Here-“ he awkwardly hands you an extra shirt and his hoodie, “You can change back there. There’s no one else in this store except me,” he says and points at the door for the staff room. Of course you accepted his offer and you’re happy that he still cares.

When you got back, you saw him preparing you a hot drink and made you sit on one of the vacant chairs. “How are you?” he asks, stirring the drink and puts it in front of you carefully.

“I’ve been well, thank you for asking. How about you? How's your sister?”

“I’m doing good too. And my sister is fine”

And after that, an awkward silence made you both giggle and feel shy about being alone in this cold store. But not for long. Haechan initiated the conversation and made small talk with you. If he’s being honest right now, he doesn’t want you to shut up. He wanted you to talk and talk freely without being shy… like that first night you spend together.

When the rain stopped, he walked you home again and you both enjoyed the cool breeze and wet street. Admiring the calmness that the rain brought. “Why did you avoid me? After me and Jeno broke up?” you asked calmly.

“I know we learned the hard way and we’ve been through some stuff” he came closer and put strands of your hair behind your ear, “I’ve been helping myself to be better for you so this time I won’t fuck us up, and I wasn’t avoiding you. I’m giving you time to heal” he smiles and looked into your eyes deeply.

“Can we start again?” he finally blurted out. “This is my final attempt on keeping you, and… I just want to fight for you this time”

The rain was a blessing after all. You don’t know if the rain was a sign of starting over again but you’re glad that you decided to walk today and got soaked in the rain and did not have a choice but to enter that convenience store. But you’re happy that the rain brought you back together, so you hugged him tightly as your answer and warned him with all your might.

“If I wake up tomorrow and you deny me again, I swear Lee Haechan-“

And just like that, he cuts you off with a kiss, an act of promise so you won’t need to worry for the next day. “My sister will kill me if I let go of you again” he giggles and continue kissing you.

Who would have thought that you need only the rain for you and Haechan to get back together? Because after that night, he kept his promise to you. He never left your side and you never left his. Life wasn’t easy for him still, but you made sure you stayed with him through thick and thin.

Even though Haechan can’t bring you to expensive dates or movie dates, being with him while he’s working at the convenience store is more than enough for you. “I love my job. I can earn money while having a study date with you in this cold store” he says, kissing your temple while you’re busy reading and studying beside him.

Your remaining high school days were full of him and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

After graduation, you and Haechan planned on living together even though you’re both going to different schools, thankfully your schools aren’t that far from each other. Living together is not easy, your parents warned you. But Haechan made it easy for you because he loves you so much. Nonetheless, you would still choose a hard life with and just so you could be together the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you close them to end your day at night.

“It's you and me from now on, Y/n” he whispers beside your ear, hugging you from behind so tightly like you’re going somewhere and finally kiss you good night.

MAIN MASTERLIST FAQ / WIPS / CALENDAR ABOUT B

To this blog’s audience, please do not steal my works save yourself from the shame. Do not translate my works, they’re not worthy. Also if you see someone who stole my work, kindly reach out to me.

[hoonloveclub]

appreciation moment

bestfriends!enhypen x gn!reader (fluff!!!!)

a/n: finally finished this after it being in my drafts for a while! i hope this made you guys smile and let me know if you guys like the style :DD

word count: 1.2k

warnings: nothing just a few curse words :)

fuck elevators and their need for maintenance

out of breath and ten minutes later than planned, your hands are heavy with full bags containing a plethora of chips, ramen, a ton of candy, and eight (very heavy) drinks, as you bang on the door to the boys’ dorm.

“guys let me in 20 cube i’m about to turn around and never come back if you don’t in the next five seconds! my arms are a millisecond away from falling off!”

that was not an exaggeration. okay just kidding, maybe it was. a little.

raising your heels off the ground, in an attempt to peek into the peephole, you’re met with one, sole, magnified eyeball.

“y/n we all know you won’t have any other friends to hang out with if you do” a singsong-y voice and owner of mentioned eyeball, jungwon, cheekily refutes.

“shut up won, and i don’t know, open the door while you’re at it” 

knowing his statement wasn’t far from the truth, you would do anything for your seven dear (annoying) friends, even climbing nine flights of stairs, but that was the last thing you needed them to know

as the door swings open you’re met with a smiling jungwon and an overly excited niki

“Y/NNNN” all the bags crash down as niki crashes into you, towering over you with his long limbs, any bitterness previously on your mind long gone

you swear he wasn’t this tall the last time you saw him but maybe your eyes were just deceiving you

“niki did you really miss me that much you big baby” you roll your eyes, contrary, a smile graces your features

he laughs, playfully pulling at your cheeks

“eyy are you saying you didn’t miss me” he points at your face, a sly smile emerging

“touché” you laugh, patting his cheek in endearment, “where’s everyone else at?”

"they’re-”

“Y/N-IEEEE MY BABY”

“OH Y/N YOU GOT THE GOOD GOODS”

“YES HOW’D YOU KNOW I WAS CRAVING GUMMIES”

speaking all over each other, you realized how long it had been since you last saw them

“i missed you guys”

“AWW DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT, Y/N MISSED US” heeseung holds his chest dramatically, expressing how touched he was at your sudden confession

regretting your words almost immediately, you cover your face in embarrassment and playfully push hee’s arm “i take it back”

heeseung holds back his laugh

“it’s okay y/n we missed you too” sunghoon sweetly assures, nudging your leg from across your seat

replying with a quick “this is why you’re my favorite” hoon beams with giddiness, the cute dimple you adored appearing on his cheek

movie nights were a weekly occurrence between you and the seven, but due to busy schedules, the past month’s movie nights were, to everyone’s dismay, all cancelled

“okay so what do you guys want to watch tonight” sunghoon asked cheerily, sipping a bit of a sweet latte you bought specifically for him, knowing it was his favorite

you were munching on a mix of ruffles, hot cheetos, and m&ms, niki sprawled on your lap to the right of you, and jay clinging to the arm on your left as jay pipes up, “i was actually thinking something light hearted like, i don’t know, high school musical?”

after a month of nonstop work you were ready to relax (aka jam to bet on it with jay)

“i second that” you mindlessly agree, earning a smile from the boy beside you

the rest exchange knowing glances of ‘any other recommendations?’ to which you don’t notice

“..actually what I was thinking is less of a light hearted school romance movie, but more of a light hearted-ish action movie like spider-man homecoming?” jake suggests, looking around for approval

you shrug, but one after another, the rest of the boys agree to spider-man homecoming, the only other siding for high school musical being sunoo

“yes! okay spider-man it is!” jungwon excitedly exclaims, turning on the tv and getting settled next to jake

slightly disappointed, you wanted to watch high school musical, but nonetheless you could never resist peter parker (especially played by tom holland)

“being spider-man would be so cool” jake lets out, mesmerized by the action on screen “like imagine being able to just do… that” he motions to the scene

“honestly, jake, you’d be a solid spider-man” you reply

“you think so?” a smile tugging at jake’s lips

“not to rain on your parade, but i think not” jay interrupts, “obviously i’d be better,” perking up beside you

“yeah sure jay, what are you gonna do, spray your large variety of honey at them?” jake retorts

you can hear heeseung, sunghoon, sunoo, and jungwon’s snickering from across the room

“i would just be spider-man dumbass, with web shooters?? you-”

“i heard somewhere that tom holland had to wear a thong while wearing the spider-man suit” niki says nonchalantly, still focused on the screen in front of him

you watch as jay’s eyes widen

“take it back, jake can be spider-man” jay says, to which everyone cries laughing at for a whole 10 minutes

“ugh tom holland is just so perfect- where can i find a man like him” you exclaim, earning a quick response from none other than heeseung

“Y/N! you are currently surrounded by 7 hunky men! what more can you ask for”

“did you just use the word ‘hunky’? i heard that right? hunky?? no no no no, that’s it. i’m done. as much as i love y’all, hate to break it to you but tom holland is THE man.” you reply dreamily

“okay ya sure, because you can totally pull someone like him,, we’ll wait.”

“you know what jungwon, just let me live in peace for one day without reminding me how dry my relationship status is everyday” you jokingly reply, words dripping with an insincere annoyance

“y/nn, you know it’s because we love you. how is it gonna be when you get a significant other and leave us hanging every week? what are we gonna do then??” jungwon explains but he’s cut off when sunoo confesses

“y/n i’m gonna be honest, i most definitely have attachment issues with you”

“yeah. me too.” sunghoon nonchalantly adds.

all eyes are on you as you sit there between your dear friends, spider-man playing in the background, but now long forgotten.

to say that you appreciated each one of them was a total understatement.

they were everything to you, and you wouldn’t trade your friendship with them for the world

“no because now you guys are gonna make me cry or something” your eyes look up to the ceiling as you try to prevent the tears forming in your eyes from actually falling. plan failed.

“LOOK WHAT YALL DID. NOW MY BABY Y/N’S CRYING” jake puts his arms up and pretends to punch sunghoon

yeah sure your love life was like a tree on the verge of dying because of a drought, but you couldn’t imagine loving someone more than your friends.

“you guys are the best. i mean- for now i guess”

“eyyyyy y/n you just broke my heart” jake holds his heart and pretends to faint

you laugh, tear stained cheeks now glowing with happiness 

[vegalocity]

Hug while straddling for @purble-turble's Time Travel Red and MK?

Affection meme

31. Hugging While straddling partner

Eyyyy lmao I'm always down to talk about Red Son: Ultimate Enemy as told by @purble-turble

--

There was no such thing as 'loving mental illness away'.

That was one of the very first things Qi Xiaotian had internalized when he came to the decision to make up with Red Son after his future adventure.

He wasn't exactly the picture of mental health himself, but when Red Son stumbled back into their time period, jacket chopped in half hair shorn close to his head and so obviously choking back tears, He'd instantly known whatever had happened to him had been actual hell. (Of course at first he'd forced himself to not care for how angry he'd been with Red Son after he'd told him about his parents plan and how he'd been a willing pawn in it, but that was beside the point)

So once he'd been properly brought upt to date on the exacts of the nightmare-future, and they'd started the process of looking for a therapist for Red Son, as clearly, he'd needed it, Xiaotian had taken it upon himself to do some research on his own time. it was a little difficult, he didn't want Red to find out about it until he actually had a better sense of what he should be doing, but since Red Son rarely seemed to be able to sleep anymore (even when Xiaotian could get him to lay with him in bed it was clear what little sleep he did get was rife with nightmares) and when he did sleep through the night he would wake up earlier than him, and they lived together... his most constant time for research was usually when he was technically on the clock.

But he'd gotten a couple of books about Post-traumatic stress disorder, general psychology, and 'So you've got a loved one with severe depression' (an actual title) and he'd scribble notes into the margins and on sticky notes when there was time between deliveries. And the first lesson every single one of those books had for him was just that.

You can't 'love someone out of their illness'. That's not a thing. The best you can do is love them through it.

So he did his best with that.

On some days that was just sending texts full of cute animal gifs and heart emojis, on some that was coming up to the loft on break to sit next to the lump of pillows and blankets on the bed and (after finding the telltale hint of short red hair that gave away where his head was) resting a hand on the part of the lump that was most likely an arm, gently rubbing it, and sitting in silence until his break ended.

And on some days it was this.

"It's not safe you're not safe I'm gonna slip up eventually-" Red Son's voice was fragile and warbling as his actions contradicted his words, hands scrabbling up and down his back and sides, gripping periodically for purchase before shrinking back as if afraid just hugging him back would crush him. "I'm gonna do something-"

"You won't." Xiaotian was practically seated in Red Son's lap at this point. Red had been sitting on the floor, back to the edge of the bed when the meltdown had begun, so kneeling on the ground until he was rested on his partners legs did two things:

one, it enabled him to wrap him up as tight as he could in his arms without having to twist one or both of them in an awkward angle.

and two, the extra pressure would probably help ground him, make it a little easier to come down from this one.

"You don't know that" His voice was hoarse, desperate. and Xiaotian closed his eyes and squeezed Red Son tighter.

"I do. I know you, hun." Red Son sobbed into his shoulder and he felt his hands finally decide where to be, resting across either shoulder blades and balling the fabric they found there up into fists.

"I know there's basically nothing that'll make you believe it at this point, but you're a good man, Red Son."

"I'm no-"

"Shhh, my turn to talk now." he shifted a hand to be able to bury it in Red Son's hair. He could feel him ever so minutely relax beneath him at the sensation. "You saw your potential for being a bad person, and don't forget everyone's got it. I have it, Xiaojiao has it, hell Monkey King has recorded evidence for his bad person potential, anyway, you saw yours and you've been working your ass off nonstop to keep it from ever getting the best of you.

"And this shit is fucking hard, hun. You're fighting your own brain and the actual literal future here! and guess what? it might not feel like it right now but you're winning."

Still, he shook his head against Xiaotian's shoulder. he didn't want to interrupt again, but still make his disagreement known.

"You are." He pulled away just enough to be able to properly cup Red Son's wet face in his hands. "You think that Evil King remotely hacked Jin and Yin's stupid battle robot in that illegal mech fighting ring and made it throw the match making them look like idiots in his timeline?" Red's gaze broke from his own as he thought back on the fight that broke out the week previous.

"....I suppose not-"

"You think that Evil King ever thinks for more than a second about the ethics of what evil plans he carries out let alone hours of agonizing over whether something was the right call or not?"

"Certainly not but that's not-"

"It is the point, Red. You're not the same person anymore. Maybe you started from the same roots, but he dug himself back into the ground and you rose up like a fucking tree instead."

Red Son met his gaze again, and Xiaotian could tell he still didn't believe him, but there was a spark there.

The faintest, dimmest hope.

"You are a good man, Red Son." this time he made sure every word was careful deliberate. So there was no misunderstandings that could be made. "And I am not accepting counterarguments at this time so you'd better fucking take it."

When he pulled Red Son against his chest again, and let the demon continue to cry quietly into his shirt, he pressed a small kiss to the crown of his head.

"I love you."

Red Son choked on a sob, and didn't answer.

It wasn't an issue, he knew Red Son loved him. Part of this whole thing being a thing in the first place was because Red Son loved him. Red Son wouldn't be as scared of becoming the Evil King as he was if he didn't love him so he knew better than to take to heart the days where he just couldn't say the words back.

There weren't any cures for mental illnesses. There were ways to mitigate the symptoms, but there are no spells that cure depression, there's no potion of anti-PTSD, and no person can love someone out of their illness.

But heavens above did he wish it some days.

He'd give anything to make it so Red Son wouldn't have to be in so much pain.

But all he could do was just hold him tighter, and stroke the short red tresses between his fingers until the sobbing stopped.

It took less time than usual.

Red was exhausted and pliant by the end of it and let Xiaotian drag him about the loft, obediently (if slowly) eating what was pressed into his hands and then nursing the mug of tea he was given as they settled down on the mound of cushions and he put on that 'how things are made' show that Red Son liked.

He was asleep halfway through the second episode.

Sure, some days were harder than others, and sure, some days he'd wish there was a cure just to spare Red the suffering.

But he felt Red Son's head slowly loll to the side until it rested on his shoulder, breathing slow and even and looking for the first time today like he was at peace and-

He still wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Love You, Hun."

Red Son hummed against him.

--

Send me stuff!

[venomous--fics]

You shuffled through your papers, doing your best to make sure they were organized. Once they were organized, the next thing to do was to put them into the system, and once you did that, it was onto a new stack. Just like every day.

"Y/n,"

You were too focused, thinking it was another nobody trying to interrupt you, you went to wave them off. Except your wrist was caught and you jumped a little your head upwards to look at the person.

Mobius raised an eyebrow and you quickly darted out of your seat, wiggling out of his grasp and dusting yourself off, "Right, it's- Sorry-"

"You coming with me or not?" he asked, already turning and walking away.

You glanced at your work before quickly following him, "Where are we going, Mobius, sir?"

He chuckled a little, "I told you to stop with the formalities."

"Right."

"To a hearin-"

You couldn't stop the small groan that escaped your lips, which of course got his attention. You cleared your throat, "With all due respect, remember what happened last time we attended one of these things?"

"Whatdaya mean?"

"I'm not going to say it. I just don't think we should meddle in Renslayer's business again.."

It was quiet for a moment before Mobius muttered, "It wasn't that bad."

"It was pretty bad." You rubbed your temples thinking about it, "I had so many papers to fill out because of you- And it flooded the- Just don't get us in over our heads again."

Mobius' hand rested against the big door, "Have I ever led you astray before?"

"Yes."

As per usual, the "courtroom," as Renslayer liked to call it, was pretty empty. There was only a few guards in there, and then the accused. You followed Mobius to the front, garnering an odd look from Renslayer, and using your hands, you were trying to assure her that you two came in peace this time. At least you did.

"I just don't understand why I'm here." the guilty party half shouted, "I mean, the other guys went back in time- Like farther back than they were supposed to."

"Because of you," Renslayer leaned forward, "If you hadn't-"

"Yeah, I know. Stolen the tesseract and gotten away with it. You guys keep telling me this. I get it." The person clapped their hands together, "However, I feel like I was supposed to do that because it was mine to begin with."

There was a silence.

"No? Not going to argue with me on that one?"

Again, no response, only a sigh.

"Does that mean I'm right?"

Your shoulder was tapped with something, pulling your attention away from the mess. Mobius handed you a file. It was plain and paper thin, which was surprising to you. Normally they had a little bit more to them than just a single printout.

You looked at Mobius for a split second again before opening the folder.

Loki. You looked back up towards the front of the room. That must've be that guy over there chatting it up with the judge. Poor thing. Doesn't even know that it won't make a difference.

"Don't mock me. I am a god."

Oh boy, you thought. You watched as they pathetically tried to use whatever magic powers they may or may not have had.

Renslayer had see and heard enough, "Prune them."

You watched as two guards grabbed each of their arms and dragged them away from the podium. Loki, you believed them to be, was struggling against them, saying how unfair and stupid this was and that we'd all regret this.

That when, much to your dismay, Mobius stood up. You panicked and stood up beside him, "Don't-"

Renslayer stared at Mobius as he appoarched the bench. By the look on Renslayer's face, you already knew how this was going to play out, so you opted to step into the aisle. Sure this could end in your guy's- Or Mobius'- favor, but you wanted to make sure you could run in case it went awry.

Sure, what a terrible choice to make. To abandon Mobius like that, but to be fair, he has gotten himself into more trouble than ever lately. How were you supposed to get him out of it if he get himself pruned?

Mobius, with a triumphant pep in his step, lead the variant over to you. "And this," Mobius had stated, gesturing to you, "Is Y/n. Kinda my assistant, but they don't really like to be called that. More of an equal to me."

Loki looked at you, almost no readable expression on their face, "I see."

You held your hand out, "Pleased to meet you."

Loki grabbed your hand and shook it eagerly, "Charmed."

You and Mobius led Loki to the interrogation room, "Sorry about Renslayer. She's a bit-"

"Hostile. Does she ever take a vacation?"

"Uh," you responded, "No. None of us do that."

Loki almost wanted to laugh, "You mean to tell me you do this all the time? Nonstop?"

"Sometimes I sleep at the break tables..." you admitted, "That's pretty exciting."

"What's with this place." it came out as more of a flat statement than a real question, but you answered him anyways. Whether it was out of habit or something else, the words just came out before you could process them.

"It's not so bad. The TVA really is just trying to keep everything in order. Without us doing our work, who knows, the whole universe could just unravel and," you paused to chuckle a little, "Maybe it would explode! Or maybe it would simply turn into a tangle mess of timelines."

"Doesn't that make you a little curious?"

"Beg your pardon?"

"You keep everything in order to prevent some sort of outcome. What if it's not a bad one?"

Mobius opened yet another door and ushered Loki in, "Let's not be putting cockamamie thoughts into anyone's heads."

Loki wanted to know the answer, though. Ever since he was dragged here, all anyone could preach about was how the sacred timeline would and should be maintained. But why? Why was that such a big deal. Seriously, what real harm could come from a few timelines branching out? It didn't seem like that big of a deal.

Mobius asked you, for privacy reasons, to busy yourself somewhere else. You understood, and left him to his work. You'd just met them, but Loki had already done it. He had already gotten into your head.

See, you always felt like something was wrong with this place, but you could never pinpoint why. Nothing seemed to fit in, yet everything still worked and made sense. You had no memories outside of work. No family, or friends, outside Mobius- Did he consider you a friend- That's not important.

Did you do anything before all of this? You asked yourself that every time Mobius brought you files upon files to catalog. You really could help but like your thoughts wander. Surely there's more to life than doing someone else's bidding. But no matter how hard you thought, everything either came up blank or hazy.

Your train of thought was interrupted by Renslayer blocking your path. Her glaze was cold and nothing less than stern. You stood straight in your spot, hands at your side. You could feel them tremble, but you tried to not let it show. She looked you over for another minute before handing you a new file.

Opening it showed that it was just and updated version of Loki's file. You stared at his profile picture for a good minute, wondering if he was trying to annoy you or if he was being truthful. You'd done this for so long but you could never tell if someone was ever lying to you.

You looked back at Renslayer, who tucked her hands behind her back. You straightened up a bit more.

"Don't mess this up." she said coldly, "One mistake and I'm pruning all of you."

You clutched the file to your chest and nodded silently, knowing better than to speak right now.

"Do I make myself clear?" is all she asked as she stepped past you.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good."

As naïve as you were, you knew she wasn't lying. You turned on your heel to deliver the file to Mobius. You couldn't help but mentally curse him out for this. One bad joke from this variant and you'd all be dead. You were silently praying that they'd both be on their best behaviors.

As you got to your destination, you hesitated. You just realized that Renslayer gave you a new file. But that wasn't the problem. You just processed the fact that she was withholding information from you.

Why would she do that? She's never done that before.

[ghosttotheparty]

the concept of permanence and its effects on the heart

AO3 Annie sighs, placing her now empty cup on the counter beside the sink. It’s dark, and the glass shines and glistens.

I’ll wash it tomorrow.

She rests against the counter, tugging the hair tie from her ponytail before tying it up again. The television in the living room is on (the light from it, flashing and shining, lit her way to the kitchen from her bedroom), and she assumes Abed is asleep on the sofa in front of it. It’s playing Inspector Spacetime. Annie recognises the exaggerated English accents, the sound of lasers being shot at tin. The volume is low.

Annie sighs again, closing her eyes and crossing her arms in front of herself, dropping her head.

It’s been quieter since Troy left.

(Abed is quieter since Troy left.)

She rubs her face, standing up straight and turning to leave the kitchen and shut off the tv. But when she looks into the living room, Abed isn’t asleep. He’s sitting up on the sofa, cross-legged with a blanket pulled around his shoulders. He’s holding it tightly, his fingers rubbing the fabric, and his eyes are shining, glazed, like he’s looking through the screen instead of at it. He doesn’t even look like he’s watching it. He looks like he’s just thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, with the television as background noise, as a distraction.

He looks lonely.

“Hey, Abed,” Annie says gently so she doesn’t startle him, but he startled anyway, looking at her. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Hi,” he responds, almost just whispering. “No, I uh… No.”

“It’s late,” she tells him. It was a little past midnight last she checked as she worked on her forensics essay. “Don’t you think you should go to bed?”

He stares at her, like he’s looking through her, like she’s another screen, before looking away.

“One more episode,” he says.

She pauses, watching as he turns back to the television.

“Hey,” she says after a few seconds. “I haven’t seen Rachel in a while, how’s she doing?”

“We broke up,” he says without hesitating, and she blinks, jerking her chin back in surprise.

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“But…” She shifts on her feet, wondering if she should sit next to him. “I thought you guys were really happy together, I thought you loved each other.”

“We did, it just… sort of fizzled.” He bites his lip, watching the Inspector pull a map out of his pocket, even though it looks too big too fit. “It just felt like we were going through the motions of a relationship. Going through tropes and dates because that’s what we were supposed to do. It didn’t feel like love love.”

“What… What does?”

He sighs, adjusting the blanket.

“It just feels different,” he says. His voice is stronger now. “Better.”

“Abed?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s it feel like to fall in love?”

After a second, he moves on the sofa, shifting closer to the armrest and gesturing subtly beside him. She sits, crossing her legs and facing him. Curious.

“It’s really nice,” he says softly. “It feels like coming home. They’re familiar. And comforting.”

Annie makes a mental note of Abed’s use of they’re, but stays quiet, listening intently.

“They’re safe. Like you can say or do anything and you know they won’t judge you or think you’re weird or want you to stop.” He speaks softly, like he’s forgotten he’s speaking to her, like he’s talking to himself.

“And you trust them,” he continues “Because you know they won’t hurt you. Because you know them and they know you.”

Annie doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t want to interrupt. So she looks away, letting him speak, listening and listening and thinking and thinking.

“And it doesn’t even matter if they don’t feel the same way, or if they don’t know how you feel, or if they could never feel the same way, or…” His voice breaks at never, trembling and snapping like a dry leaf. He shakes his head, furrowing his brows lightly. He’s looking through the screen again.

“Because just being with them is enough. Just being around them, just knowing that they’re there is enough. It’s okay if they don’t feel the same because just existing with them is enough. It’s like floating in the middle of the ocean.”

She looks back at him. His eyes are shinier than before. He doesn’t seem to notice.

“It’s so peaceful and welcoming and beautiful, but it… feels dangerous. Like at any second something might pull you under and drown you.”

He’s quiet.

She doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue, waiting for him to tell her something that will tell her yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking, something that will confirm her suspicions about herself and him. But he doesn’t for a while, watching the screen.

“It sucks,” he says, and his voice cracks like he’s trying not to let it shatter. “It sucks, and I hate it.”

“Why?” she whispers. “It sounds beautiful.”

It does. It sounds amazing. And unfamiliar. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt it before, not with Jeff or Rich or Vaughn or any of the guys she liked in high school.

“It is,” he says. “It’s just… You can’t help it. When you fall there’s nothing you can do to catch yourself. You’re paralysed and you just have to hope for the best. Nothing hurts more than falling and just… crashing. Fucking face planting.”

Annie’s eyes widen. She doesn’t hear Abed talk like this often. He blinks and pulls the blanket tighter around himself.

“There’s nothing you can do,” he repeats softly. His voice becomes thick, softened with the tears flooding his eyes that won’t spill over. “Even when you try to ignore it and pretend it’s something different, something normal, it doesn’t change. And even though it sucks, it’s still beautiful and amazing, because you can just… You find them everywhere. They’re in everything that makes you happy, everything beautiful.”

Annie takes a deep breath, looking away, overwhelmed with realisations and realisations.

“And it sucks because it won’t leave you alone. They won’t leave you alone,” he says, and Annie wants to reach out and touch him. But she doesn’t. “Fucking everywhere. Everywhere I look,” he breathes, “he’s right there.”

Annie’s eyes swell, looking at the screen, and the colours blend and blur until her vision is a bleary mess of shifting blues and reds and shadows and light.

It makes sense.

The blanket from the fort, torn apart the day after Troy left, completely demolished while Annie was out, a pile of blankets and pillows and tape and ties and a melted Abed in the middle of it, curled into himself, clutching at the blue blanket, the same one that’s pulled around him right now.

The days and days Abed spent in the apartment, refusing to even get out of bed.

The red sweatshirt he wore for weeks until Annie convinced him to take it off long enough for her to wash it, and the way he cried when he got it back, murmuring that it smelled different.

The nonstop Inspector Spacetime on the television, playing and playing and playing even though it’s clear that Abed’s mind is miles and miles and miles away.

“Abed?” Annie asks softly, because he’s fallen silent and unmoving. He doesn’t respond, but his eyes shift from the television to the floor, still glassy and unfocused. He exhales, like he’s realised what he’s just told her. “Are you... Are you in love with Troy?”

It takes a few seconds, a few silent, empty seconds, and then he takes a deep, shuddering breath and nods so weakly he barely moves at all. And then he crumbles.

The tears finally fall and he leans toward Annie, turning his face into her when she wraps her arms around him, barely even noticing that she’s crying herself.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs when a sob breaks out of him, burying her face in his neck, against the blanket and his skin, trying not to let her voice shake. “That’s okay.”

“I don’t—” Abed chokes, and she shakes her head, hushing.

“It’s okay, Abed, it’s okay.”

He cries.

And cries.

And cries.

She holds him, murmuring to him and doing her very very best to not let herself break. She’s never seen him like this, or heard him like this, sobbing, and whining and gasping, shivering, moaning, trembling, clutching at the blanket like it’s a lifeline.

When he calms down, he slumps, falling against Annie, between her arms, and she runs a hand through his hair, laying her cheek on his head, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as his shoulders rise and fall.

“It’s okay,” she whispers after a few minutes of quiet, because she doesn’t know if he’s fallen asleep or not. She’d let him fall asleep, right here in her arms.

He takes a shaky sigh, and then says, “I know.”

She relaxes, leaning against the back of the sofa and lifting her leg to rest it on top of his lap. He lays a hand on her leg, rubbing gently at the fabric of her pajama pants.

“Have you told him?” she asks, and he scoffs.

“How would I?” he says, more than asks. “How would I tell Troy Barnes I’m in love with him? Troy Barnes…” he says, almost wistfully. “Star quarterback and prom king.” His voice cracks.

“You mean Troy Barnes, supreme dork?” Annie says, frustrated. “The same Troy that built a blanket fort across the whole school with you just because? And that got a gluon photo with you at a Spacetime Convention so you guys could be bound together forever?” His hand grips her leg, holding onto her like he’s bracing himself. “That held your hand in the hallways so you wouldn’t have to look up and get overwhelmed or overstimulated? That got you your first stim toy in your favourite color?”

Abed sighs again, nuzzling his face into Annie’s shoulder, and she presses closer.

“He loves you, Abed,” she says gently. “Even if it’s not the same way you love him, it won’t change anything, I promise.”

He’s quiet, and she would think he’s fallen asleep if his fingers weren’t still fiddling with her pants. There’s a little indent in the fuzz, where there’s a smiley face, and he runs his fingertips over it, scratching and rubbing it.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he finally says, so softly she almost doesn’t hear him.

“Of course.”

“The uhm…” He takes a deep shaky breath. “The whole apartment smells like the ocean. Like sea salt. All the time.”

Annie’s heart crumbles like a sandcastle and she exhales.

“That’s beautiful,” she says, because it is. Even though it hurts even her, and she’s never even been in love with Troy.

“I guess.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispers after a quiet minute, because she isn’t sure how much longer she can hold this thing inside of her, this thing she didn’t even know was inside of her, pushed away on a shelf and covered in dust.

“Tell me.”

“I—” She cuts off, taking a sharp breath and biting her lip, wondering how to say it. It takes her longer than she’d like, thinking and thinking until her brows are drawn and her lips are pursed. Abed waits.

“I think I, uhm… I think I’m a lesbian.”

“...Okay.”

Annie squeezes her eyes shut, letting tears cascade down her cheeks.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

She takes a gasping breath, trying not to let a sob rack her body, and Abed squeezes her leg, pulling at it so she comes closer.

“That’s okay,” he says softly. “I love you, you know.”

The sob finally breaks free as she chokes out, “I know.”

He lets go of her leg and reaches up, holding her hand and then her wrist and just holding her so her arm presses against his neck harder. She tightens her arms around him, crying. Crying and crying.

“I love you too,” she whispers when she stops. “So much.”

He turns his head and presses a kiss to her shoulder.

“It’s been a very emotional night,” he says lightly, and she chuckles tearfully.

“Yeah.”

“Look, it’s us,” Abed says, lifting a hand and pointing at the television. She’d forgotten it was even on, and she looks over Abed’s head to where Geneva and the Inspector are embracing. Annie giggles, hugging Abed tighter and rocking slightly.

“Do you wanna watch with me?” Abed asks gently, like he’s nervous, and Annie almost says no, but fuck it, it’s a Saturday.

“Yeah,” she says.

They readjust, so Annie is laying on his lap, her hands grasping his leg lightly. He carefully places the end of his blanket over her and unties her ponytail so he can run his hands through her hair.

Annie giggles at the show, at the accents and effects, and she feels Abed’s belly move as he giggles with her. She even laughs as she drifts off, until she falls asleep, gripping Abed’s pajama pants.

She doesn’t see the blorgons get knocked over like Dominos (which Abed knows she would have laughed at), or at the way Geneva says “You're a liar!” that sounds more like “lawyer” on account of her over-exaggerated British accent that sounds Australian (which Abed knows she would have laughed at).

She doesn’t feel Abed move as he retracts his hands from her hair and reaches over the armrest to his laptop on the floor.

He opens it to a map, blackish-grey with little red, glowing dots. He looks, watching them.

Him and Annie, side by side. Jeff and Britta and Shirley at home. Pierce in the cemetery. (Almost a comfort really, despite not being able to get the tracker back. Part of him hates to think about what would happen if he saw it move one day, but another part of him thinks it would be quite the adventure. But, though he’d never say it out loud to anyone but Troy, he wouldn’t want to see if move. He’d honestly hate to find out that Pierce faked it (which he wouldn’t put beneath him). He’d hate to hear what Pierce would have to say about… anything, really.)

He zooms out on the map, scrolling until the world spins and he finds the last red dot, floating in the ocean, miles and miles and miles away.

He watches it, until the tv stops and asks if he’s still watching. He ignores it, forgets about it. Annie moves on his lap, turning her head so her face presses against his leg.

He watches the dot like he’s expecting it to travel around the world by the time the sun comes up, by the time he blinks. It doesn’t move.

He closes the tab.

And opens his email.

And a draft.

And then he types.

Troy,

[janeykath318]

The Gardener Next Door

Darcy felt like she’d finally made it: finished her PhD and found a great job that allowed her to upgrade from her tiny apartment to her very own house in the suburbs. It needed a little work, but it had charm and personality and Darcy took several months making it her own. The neighborhood she lives in was mostly elderly people or young newlywed couples and the people were generally very friendly. Sweet Mrs. Messer brought her over baked goods regularly and shared the local gossip while Old Mrs. Richards brought her puppy over for regular visits. Before she’d lived there six months, she knew almost everyone on the block except for her next door neighbor on the left, who didn’t appear to be the sociable type.

Even Mrs. Messer hadn’t been able to find out much information, other than his name was something Grant and he liked to garden and preferred to be left alone.

“He must be one of those grumpy old hermit types,” Mrs. Messer sighed. “Never answered the door when I went to bring him a welcome to the neighborhood pie. I wonder what happened to the poor man to make him so wary of people.”

“I don’t know, but maybe you could try leaving some on his front porch with a friendly note. Once he’s discovered the glory of your chocolate chip cookies, he might just loosen up a little.” Darcy suggested.

This cheered up Mrs. Messer and she scurried off to start baking.

Mysterious Neighbor Dude clearly preferred a motorcycle as his form of transportation, but he always pulled right into the garage, so she was never able to get a glimpse of him without his helmet.

As spring went on, Darcy started spending more time outside in her cozy lounge chair, from which she started noticing her neighbor working outdoors. Even from the distance she could see by the way he moved, he was still in the prime of life and he appeared to be a workout fiend, judging by the size of his shoulders and arms.

He wore a big floppy straw hat that kept the sun off, which was probably a good thing because he was working in his garden almost nonstop on sunny days. It was kind of fascinating watching the progression from bare dirt to tiny plants. So far, their only interaction was a friendly wave when he caught her staring and Darcy was dying for more, but he’d never approached her and she didn’t want to invade his privacy.

But then she came home one day to find a big basket of lettuce and radishes on her front porch.

There was a note with them:

“Sharing some lettuce with you. It makes delicious salads. Have a nice day!”

The note was not signed and Darcy squinted at it for quite awhile like it would suddenly start talking and reveal its author, but alas, no such luck.

The lettuce did make excellent salads and she thought about her hunky neighbor with every bite.

Mrs. Messer came over very excitedly to report that the cookies had been taken and she too had been given a basket of lettuce.

“Looks like you were right, Darcy. The man just needed a little kindness. I wonder if he likes lemon bars…..”

As the weeks went by, the gifts of veggies continued, varying as different things came into season. Peppers, carrots, tomatoes, and green beans all arrived steadily and were either quickly eaten or given to Darcy’s vegetarian co-worker.

Darcy started replying to his notes on the fifth basket and soon they had a funny banter going back and forth, filled with vegetable puns.

“Lettuce be friends?” She wrote on the note left in the empty basket which had previously held plump red tomatoes and would be supplying her with BLTs for a long time.

“Yes, peas!” he’d replied on the next basket, which did contain the mentioned vegetable.

“Why are you so cute and unreachable?” Darcy murmured to herself, stashing the note away with a smile.

She laid out sunbathing in her favorite bathing suit the next day and since there was no fence between their backyards, the hot neighbor dude got a nice view. This time it was Darcy who caught him staring and waved happily, pretty sure he was blushing. Ugh. He was just too adorable. She wanted to March over there and plant one on him, pun slightly intended. He briefly took off his hat to wipe sweat off of his face and she caught a glimpse of dark hair and beard. Dang it, that was a GOOD look!!

The notes and vegetable puns continued, but now they were accompanied by cute sketches of cartoon vegetables representing the various neighbors. Darcy absolutely loved it and it proved her suspicions that the so-called hermit was much more observant than he seemed.

“So you’re an artist as well as a champion gardener? Is there anything you can’t do?” She wrote on the next note.

“Plenty,” he replied back. “I sure can’t bake and I can’t seem to be able to remember how to speak when my pretty neighbor is around.”

Darcy was floored, but thrilled, and wrote and rewrote seven replies before she finally figured out how to word her response.

“Here I was thinking you didn’t want to talk to me. Guess we’re both disasters at communicating.”

The response to this rang Darcy’s doorbell the very next evening and she opened it to see her neighbor, up close and personal, looking all kinds of shy and adorable and holding out a bouquet of gorgeous flowers that she knew came from his yard.

“Aww, how sweet!” She exclaimed, accepting the flowers eagerly. “They’re beautiful. Nice to finally meet you……….”

Her voice trailed off as she recognized the gorgeous and famous face in front of her.

“Steve,” he finished quietly, almost apologetically. “I’m sorry for the secrecy. I’ve been hiding out living the retired life and trying my hand at new hobbies.”

He looked even more nervous now, probably thinking she was going to either throw him out or go yelling to the neighbors.

“Please, come in,” she told him, heart pounding. “I’m Darcy Lewis, astrophysicist and former Avengers wrangler. I did NOT recognize you from across the yard with the dye job. It’s a good look, though. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

“Thanks,” Steve sighed, relaxing a touch. “I think I remember seeing you yelling at Tony a few times. It was pretty neat, the way you made him cower.”

“I learned early on, Tony needed a firm hand or he would never eat or sleep and bad things happened,” Darcy recalled, with a pang of sadness. “You guys saved the world,” she added. “I think you’ve more than earned your privacy and a peaceful retirement.”

Steve cracked a crooked smile. “That’s very gracious of you. Some days, it’s a pretty big struggle for me to believe that, thinking about everyone we lost. Gardening’s been keeping me sane.”

“And you’re doing a fabulous job with it. I’ve never had such perfect tomatoes,” Darcy told him with a smile.

“I was pretty proud of them,” Steve admitted, then he grew serious again and looked at her very earnestly with those gorgeous blue eyes.

“Darcy, do you still want to…”

“Yes,” Darcy interrupted. “Heck yes. I like you, Steve. I didn’t really know you apart from Captain America before and I’m finding regular Steve to be more irresistible than Mrs. Messer’s lemon bars.”

Steve chuckled and started to turn pink, which was even cuter seen close up.

“Given how amazing those are, that’s high praise,” he remarked, with a twinkle in his eye. “Looks like I’ve got a lot of missed opportunities to make up for.”

They shared another long look and Steve moved into her personal space with intent-to-kiss written all over his face.

Darcy was very much down for that and nodded eagerly, wrapping her arms around him. The pent up feelings resulted in a pretty intense kiss, which left her weak in the knees and practically hanging onto Steve for dear life.

“Well that was worth it,” she whispered, when she’d caught her breath. “I’m so glad you didn’t actually go to the moon. There’s been rumors.”

Steve full on laughed at that, a joyous sight which she’d never witnessed before, but was very glad to finally see. His eyes crinkled, his face lit up and he looked so adorably cute, her heart turned into a puddle of goo.

“Don’t know where they came up with that one,” he remarked, shaking his head in amusement. “But I have no intentions of going to the moon. I’d rather stay here with you.”

“Good, because I need some more of those green beans, ASAP,” Darcy replied mischievously, barely refraining from making an eggplant joke. She didn’t want to be TOO forward.

“How about you come over and I can give you the grand tour?” Steve suggested.

“Yes, peas.” She responded, making him laugh again.

Before long, the neighbors were gossiping again, this time over the shocking sight of “Mr. Grant” making out with Dr. Lewis right in his backyard.

“I knew it!” Old Mrs. Richards chuckled, petting her dog gleefully.

“I’ll volunteer to make their wedding cake!” Exclaimed Mrs. Messer.

[mooshys]

tokyo day off

genre | gen, humor

characters | Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kugisaki Nobara, Zenin Maki, Inumaki Toge, Panda, Gojo Satoru, Character Cameo, Reader

summary | A summer outing in the city takes a wrong turn.

word count | 4.0k

author’s note | I don’t know what possessed me to write this. I really don’t. But anyway, this came to me like a fever dream and I feel like we need some comfort after everything Gege has been putting us through with the current arc. Here’s to enjoying a day with your favorite characters in the city!

The day started like any other at Jujutsu High.

Classes began in the morning, lunch, some training, and afterwards time to relax was granted. Summer afternoons in Tokyo were hot, but the weather today wasn’t all too dreadful. The scatter of white clouds offered shade from the harsh rays of the sun and the breeze from the mountains tickled your skin, coaxing you out of your room.

With nothing to do, you and the rest of the student body congregated together in the usual spot near the dorms. At the base of a tree next to the training grounds, you sat behind Nobara, playing with her hair to make a neat braid as she scrolled through her phone. On either side of you, Megumi and Maki had their backs against the trunk, both flipping through a book and scanning the words at their own pace. The others were lying right on the grass in the shade, enjoying the nap inducing weather. Panda acted as a pillow for Yuuji and Inumaki as both boys were drawn to the plush of his fur.

The moment was serene. Calm. Peaceful.

Too peaceful.

It almost felt wrong to be doing nothing.

For a while, there was silence between the group with only the sounds of cicadas chirping in the trees and the caws of a crow to be heard. Nobara crossed her arms in front of her chest and let out an agitated sigh.

“I’m so bored!” Nobara groaned aloud. “How’re we in Tokyo and we’re doing absolutely nothing?”

“Hey, sometimes doing nothing isn’t all too bad,” you said as your fingers combed through her hair to finish the braid you were making. “I mean, I’m pretty sure the quote ‘May you live in interesting times’ is a curse.”

“It is,” Megumi agreed. His eyes were still on his book, but he was focused on the conversation. “It’s better that nothing’s happening anyway.”

Nobara stuck her tongue out at Megumi. “Booooooring.”

“If you’re so bored then just leave,” he snapped. 

Nobara was about to bite back, but you stopped her from arguing as you tied her hair, finishing her braid. More interested in her new style than Megumi, Nobara grabbed the end of the tail and fished her phone out to take a picture. You laughed at how easy it was to appease her while Megumi merely shook his head at her attention span.

The sudden commotion between you three caught Maki’s attention and she set her book aside. 

“Oi, we know you’re bored too, Fushiguro,” Maki said, a teasing edge to her voice. The corners of Megumi’s lips quirked downward. He shut his book and looked up to pay attention to what his senior had to say. “That’s why you aren’t in your room right now and you’re sitting with us out here. Just admit it.”

“It was getting stuffy at the dorms,” was his quick reply.

At this, you and the others raised an eyebrow at him. Even Inumaki peeled himself off the comfort of Panda’s fur to get a good look. He said it too fast, like he had it rehearsed in the back of his mind if anyone asked.

“Lies,” Maki leaned in closer and inspected his face for any tells. She cackled when he broke eye contact and then turned to the rest of the group. “You know what? We should do something together instead of spending the afternoon here.”

Inumaki raised a hand in the air. “Tuna mayo.”

“Exactly,” Maki agreed, nodding her head. She stood up on her feet and pointed a finger at Megumi. “I think the last time we spent the day together as a group was—”

“Never!” Panda finished, excited as to where this conversation was leading.

Maki hit her fist into the palm of her other hand and smirked. The other upperclassmen got up to their feet and stretched their bodies to get ready for an outing. Nobara, the catalyst of all this, held a fist up into the air as she beamed, victory written all over her face.

“Tokyo day trip!” she cheered. Yuuji joined her side and started to mimic the comical poses she was making. “And here I thought we’d never get the chance to explore the city!”

Maki chuckled and made her way towards you, offering a hand to help you up. You took it without hesitation. An outing together would be a nice change in pace. After all, you could barely remember the last time you hung out with everyone. 

“Then,” she hooked her arm around your neck and snapped her fingers at Megumi, “let’s get ready to enjoy Tokyo!”

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

After getting changed out of the Jujutsu High uniforms and into more fashionable summer attire, you and the rest of the gang made it to the heart of Tokyo on a short bus ride away from the suburbs. The city was packed. It seemed as if everyone was out and about today, the streets busy with locals and tourists alike.

The impromptu day trip started off on a high note. With summer came the sales, and Nobara was keen on hitting every shop to see what they had to offer. She dragged you and Maki with her to multiple boutiques to try on matching outfits and find certain pieces for her wardrobe. She wasn’t shy at all when it came to shopping. 

Meanwhile, as you and the girls shopped for clothes, the guys stuck nearby, either buying food from street stands or going into a different store to look around as they waited. They had significantly less bags on hand, but kept themselves busy with their snacks and drinks.

A bit tired from shopping nonstop, you decided to leave the boutique and join the guys outside after browsing the racks. Nobara was already paying and Maki was right behind her, so you made a quiet getaway.

When you left, you found Yuuji outside, holding onto a crepe decked out with numerous sliced fruits and a nice mountain of whipped cream. Panda, Megumi, and Inumaki were nowhere in sight.

“Itadori, where are the rest of the guys?” you asked, sitting down next to him on the bench. 

“Went to grab some drinks over there,” he pointed at the tea shop a couple stores down. “Fushiguro said it was getting too hot and he needed something to cool himself down.”

At his explanation, you nodded. Even though today was a lot cooler than others, the mix of asphalt and crowds caused the temperature to rise. A short  break was definitely needed. 

Conversation with Yuuji continue with him blabbering excitedly about dinner with the group. As he spoke, you eyed the crepe in his hands. It was meticulously decorated with glazed fruits, a mountain of cream, and cookie sticks jutting out at all angles, looking almost too pretty to eat. 

“Do you have a sweet tooth?” you asked, interrupting him. He didn’t seem to mind. 

“Kinda!” Yuuji scratched the back of his head with his freehand and grinned sheepishly.  “To be honest, the main reason why I got this was because the guy working the stand was so awesome.” He did a few action poses and chopped a hand into the air. “He was cutting and flipping the fruits into the cone like a ninja!”

Noticing your gaze focused on his crepe, he grabbed a small biscuit from the top and offered it to you. Surprised, you took it and thanked him as you bit into it. 

“Do you like sweets?” he asked this time, grabbing a biscuit for himself and chomping on it. “We can share this if you want!”

Before you got the chance to answer, Nobara and Maki promptly left the boutique and joined you two. Nobara let out a sigh of exhaustion as she fanned her face with her hand and plopped down beside you. In contrast, Maki scanned the area for the others.

“Itadori, the others—”

A cup of milk tea was held in front of Maki’s face, interrupting her question.

“Here,” Megumi said, holding up a drink carrier with several other cups. Inumaki stood beside him holding onto an extra drink of his own. He handed it off to you and you graciously took it. “We got drinks for everyone.”

“Wow, look at you guys!” Nobara applauded them. “Keep this up and you’ll be sure to find a date soon!”

Megumi momentarily scowled while Inumaki held up a peace sign. You took a sip from your drink and instantly found yourself relaxing into the seat. This moment of rest was definitely needed after walking around nonstop. Nobara and Yuuji seemed to think the same, a blissful expression painted on their faces as they enjoyed their treats.

“Where’s Panda?” Maki asked as she took a sip of her drink. Megumi’s face twisted in confusion.

“He’s right”—he turned around and was met with an empty space—“Panda?”

“Salmon!” Inumaki exclaimed, pointing further down the sidewalk.

In the direction Inumaki pointed towards, a giant crowd of tourists and locals alike were surrounding Panda. Hoards of people were trying to get a picture with him, mistaking him for a random street mascot. Cameras were shoved in his face and children cried to pet his fur which left him in a state of distress.

“Oi, Panda!” Maki yelled out. “Let’s go!”

He didn’t seem to hear her as he was more focused on the many phones being shoved in his face. Maki sucked on her teeth and set her bags down. She beckoned Inumaki to follow her.

“You four wait here. We’ll get Panda out.” She gave one last glance over her shoulder. “It won’t take too long!”

With that, she and Inumaki dove into the crowd to try and diffuse the situation. The two were pushed aside like rag dolls as they tried to get closer into the circle and shouts of “Wait your turn!” could be heard even from where you were standing. It looked like they were having a difficult time as the crowd only seemed to attract more people.

“Should we help?” you asked while surveying the entire scene. Panda was practically being mobbed at this point. “I think it might take some time for them to get him out.”

Megumi stared at the madness and took a short sip of his drink. “No, we shouldn’t.”

“Might as well sit down and relax until things get settled!” Nobara exclaimed. She let out a sigh of relief and stretched her arms to the sky. “There’s still tons we gotta see before it gets dark and I really—”

Nobara never got to finish what she was saying as Yuuji shushed her. She was about to curse him into the next decade, but Yuuji held a finger to his lips and then pointed at the other side of the street.

All eyes followed in the direction he was pointing towards.

There, standing on the opposite sidewalk, was Gojo. He was donned in casual attire, rocking a pair of jeans, a crisp white t-shirt, and dark sunnies to replace the Jujutsu Tech uniform he typically wore. His phone was pressed to his ear, completely oblivious to you all staring at him as he was more focused on whoever he was talking to.

“It’s Gojo…” Yuuji whispered.

Nobara jumped up from her seat and positioned herself right next to Yuuji. She held a hand above her eyes to block out the sun as she stared at him.

“He looks so out of place,” she said. “Something about him…”

“It’s the hair, right?” Yuuji commented.

“No, not the hair.”

“His clothes?”

“He just sticks out like a sore thumb,” Nobara said. “I don’t even know.”

“I think I get it. It’s like seeing a zoo animal out of its cage,” Yuuji added. He bit into his crepe and swallowed it in one bite. 

Megumi whipped his gaze away from his phone as soon as he heard Yuuji. “Excuse me?”

“You know, like seeing a giraffe walking in the city,” Yuuji elaborated, waving a hand in the air as he explained. “It’s hard to look away!”

Megumi cringed as he imagined a giraffe with a striking resemblance to Gojo. “Gross,” was all he could reply back.

“Shouldn’t we just leave him alone?” you asked, nervously shifting on your feet. Even though you guys were a comfortable distance away from Gojo, it still felt weird to spy on him. “I mean, it’s not like he’s even doing anything interesting…”

“It’s fine!” Nobara waved a hand at you as she kept her eyes trained on him. “He’ll never know!”

You were about to pull them away, but Megumi grabbed your wrist to stop you. He shook his head. 

“Stop trying to rationalize with them,” Megumi sighed out. “All your words will go in through one ear and out the other.”

“What’d you say, Fushiguro?” Nobara asked. She didn’t even look at him when talking. 

“See.”

“Something about this feels wrong,” you mumbled. “And what if he catches us—”

“He’s got a bouquet!” Nobara pointed out, interrupting you. “Looks pretty expensive too!”

At the mention of flowers, you and Megumi slowly inched towards Nobara and Yuuji to get a glance. Curiosity got the better of you two. True to her words, Gojo was holding a nice arrangement in his hands.

“There’s no way anyone sane would date him,” Megumi said, squinting his eyes to see if it was a hallucination. It wasn’t.

“It’s not like he’s bad looking,” you said.

“Yeah, but he’s insufferable.”

He was right about that. Still, you liked to look for the best in people. “True, but maybe there’s someone out there in the world who can look past that.”

Megumi shivered at your words. Poor soul, he thought. 

“I wanna see who that person is,” Nobara said and looked up at you. “Aren’t you interested in his date?”

“...No,” you lied through your teeth.

“Aw, c’mon! Just one look!” Yuuji wiggled his fingers in front of your face as he spoke, his words turning more animated. “What if he’s into cougars? Like a sugar mama.”

“Gojo does not need…” Megumi paused and let out an exasperated sigh. “A sugar mama.”

“You never know, Fushiguro! He might be into that kinda thing!”

“Do you even know what a sugar mama is?”

“I sure do!” Yuuji snapped his fingers at Megumi. “My gramps used to—”

“He’s moving!” Nobara shut the two up and grabbed onto your sleeve. “Let’s go!”

“Kugisaki!” you yelled out at being dragged against your will. Instead of letting go, she locked arms with you.

“You can’t expect me to be stuck with those two dummies for this,” she whispered to you. “Besides, I just wanna see who his date is, it probably won’t take too long. We’ll find out, come back, and after that we’ll go shopping for matching tracksuits!”

At her words, you peered over your shoulder. Megumi and Yuuji were following closely behind you two, still talking about Gojo and his supposed sugar mama preference. Yuuji clapped his hands as he laughed while Megumi spoke in a calm manner; even though he objected earlier to it, Megumi didn’t look like he minded the detour all too much.

“Fine… but we’re getting matching tracksuits right afterwards!”

Nobara grinned and then playfully nudged you with her elbow. You did the same back with a bounce in your steps.

Operation Follow Gojo And Find Out If He’s Really Into Sugar Mamas was a go.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Hours passed and you four were still following Gojo through the city.

What seemed to be mischievous fun slowly morphed into a hellish nightmare. Your feet were throbbing in pain and the summer heat heavily weighed down on you, causing a light layer of sweat to coat your body. After an hour of tailing him, seeing Gojo’s date became a matter of pride. If you all threw in the towel now then it would have meant a loss of dignity from wasting the day following him.

“How long has it been?” you muttered, trying your best to not groan in exhaustion.

No one answered, too embarrassed to even say the number aloud.

The instigators of the group, Nobara and Yuuji, were the most heartbroken about this lost time. They walked through the city like zombies, their spirits crushed. While Yuuji was crestfallen, Nobara had a dark aura surrounding her body. You and Megumi maintained a safe distance from her.

The thing about Tokyo was that it was a large city. A metropolis with twists and turns and buildings stacked up right next to each other like rows of dominos; it had attractions built up into the sky and malls dug underground. You could walk around Tokyo for an entire day and still not cover a quarter of it. 

And yet, you were sure you explored the city twice over when tailing Gojo

He used every single back alleyway, rounding corner after corner, almost like he was walking around in circles. He would go into random stores and shop around for a bit only to walk out empty handed. Nothing he did in those few hours of surveillance made sense.

With the sun starting to set, all your motivation sank along with the light. Following Gojo really was the biggest waste of time you had ever indulged in. You checked your phone and saw Maki’s text about going back to the dorms with Inumaki and Panda. A sigh escaped your lips.

“Maybe we should give up,” you said. “Maki and the others already went back to Jujutsu Tech.”

Megumi, the only other one with a rational head on his shoulders, agreed with you. He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck to alleviate the built up tension. “If we leave now we can grab dinner here and then make it back on the last bus.”

Nobara and Yuuji seemed to be fighting an internal battle within themselves. Dinner in Tokyo would be a hell of a lot better than the food at Jujutsu Tech… but at the same time, what if Gojo met up with his date right as you all left? Both tightened their fists at the prospect.

Then a miracle happened. 

(Or so you thought.)

Yuuji was the first to notice. From the corner of his eye, he saw another figure approaching Gojo. He quickly hid himself behind a parked taxi, grabbing onto Megumi’s sleeve to avoid being seen. Nobara did the exact same with you. All four of you had your heads stacked upon one another while monitoring the situation: Yuuji at the bottom, Nobara, you, Megumi at the top.

Tall, blond, and well dressed, Gojo’s date approached him with an apathetic expression. Lips turned downward and brows furrowed together, his date was less than impressed. This didn’t faze him in the slightest. Gojo slid down his sunglasses and winked at his date, turning the charm meter up a notch.

Nobara let out a gasp while the rest of the group held their breath.

“They’re gay!” Nobara screamed, pointing towards Gojo and Nanami. 

Her sudden outburst garnered a few stares and the accused turned towards your direction. Gojo snickered into his hand while Nanami raised an eyebrow.

“Gay?” Nanami repeated, unamused. He turned his attention back at Gojo. “Explain.”

“I brought the kids along with me too,” Gojo jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at where you and the rest of the gang stood. “Hope you don’t mind.”

Upon hearing this, you deflated completely. The entire time following him was a complete waste. Gojo played you all like a puppet on a string.

“He knew…” Megumi muttered as he covered half of his face with his hand in shame. “He knew we were following him this whole time.”

Gojo practically skipped to where you all were standing, smiling like a cheshire cat. Upon seeing the dejected look on your faces, he let out a laugh, one loud enough to warrant people to look his way as he slapped a hand to his knee.

“This is a lesson,” Gojo began once he caught his breath. “Don’t stalk people in the city.”

“We weren’t stalking you!” Nobara and Yuuji objected at the same time. 

“Then what were you four doing?”

You all kept quiet, unable to answer his question. Because truthfully, you guys were stalking Gojo to get a peek at his “date” which turned out to be a giant ruse. Gojo merely cackled at the silence.

“That’s what I thought. Anyway,” he motioned a hand towards Nanami and looked over his shoulder. “Nanami, take care of the kids for a second.”

“Excuse me?” Nanami couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Is this what you called me here for?”

Again, Gojo laughed. Seems like he was going to screw over Nanami as well.

“Yup!” He waved and blew a kiss in the most grandiose manner. “I’ll see you guys in a little bit! Don’t go causing too much trouble for Nanami!”

Right after finishing what he wanted to say, Gojo disappeared in the next second, blending in with the city crowd. You blinked at how easy it was for him to fly off your radar. The others thought the same, keeping quiet.

Tokyo was a complete bust.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

EXTRA:

“See! The sushi comes to you on little bullet trains, Kugisaki!” Yuuji cheered as three plates of salmon nigiri arrived at the booth. He couldn’t stop grinning as he marveled the miniature replica. “Let’s make another order!”

After getting caught red handed and toyed with for the majority of the day by Gojo, he decided to treat you and the rest of the first years to a nearby kaiten sushi restaurant as a peace offering. Not because he felt bad, but rather he didn’t feel like going back to Jujutsu High so soon. You all accepted for the free meal and a ride back to the dorms.

Inside the cramped booth, Nobara and Yuuji were talking over one another while eating, trying to show off their Tokyo knowledge through random trivia found online. Megumi, the most mentally mature of the bunch, spoke up to correct them every now and then, earning either the stink eye from Nobara or finger guns from Yuuji. Their energy was infectious, causing you to laugh along.

With the night nearing its end, you decided to ask the million dollar question. After all, it was the reason why your day in Tokyo was wasted.

“Gojo, what were you doing with those flowers?” you asked as you passed a plate over to him. Since you never got to see his date after his disappearing act, you were curious with what he did with the bouquet.

Instead of stuffing the sushi into his mouth, Gojo set his chopsticks down for a second and paused. In a comedic manner, he closed his eyes and rubbed his chin, seemingly in deep thought.

“Ah, since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you,” he said as he clicked his tongue and snatched the nigiri with his chopsticks. “I was giving them to a friend of mine. It’s been a while since I last saw him, so I decided to do something special.”

“A friend?” It was hard to imagine him with friends. He seemed to drive everyone within a five foot radius up the wall. “Really?”

“Yep,” Gojo replied. He popped another tuna nigiri into his mouth and savored the flavor for a moment before finishing what he had to say. “Flowers are a nice gift, right?”

“I think they are,” you answered truthfully. “Did he like them?”

He smiled. And it wasn’t one of his usual fake asshole smiles he did whenever he beat you guys to the dirt during a spar session, but rather a genuine one. A rarity. “I think he did. He better because that bouquet was expensive.”

“Maybe next time you should invite him with you,” you motioned to the entirety of the table, “to this.”

Gojo chuckled as he watched you all get along. Nobara had Yuuji in a chokehold while Megumi watched from the other side of the table with a stone cold visage. The corners of his lips threatened to twitch upward.

“I think he’d like that.”

[svnflowervol666]

h driving around his lovie in the yellow vintage ferrari because lovie loves the humming engine of the car ☺️🐻

Word Count: 2.1k

Harry was at his wit’s end. He was certain that he would be able to take care of his own child for three days whilst his wife enjoyed a weekend away with her closest friends at the beach. Like, absolutely positive. He’d gotten the whole dad thing down pat. All he lacked was the ability to produce breast milk, which Y/N had gladly pumped extra of and stored in the refrigerator before she left. Harry knew exactly when they ate, exactly how much to give them and how long he needed to burp them for so that their tummies wouldn’t be upset later on in the day. Absolutely nothing had been different about the baby’s routine besides the fact that their mother was not here. There was nothing she possessed that was not accessible to the baby while she was gone, yet, for some reason, everything was going wrong.

The baby had quite literally been screaming all day. Harry had unnecessarily changed their diaper about 800 times just in case the material was irritating their skin and he had tried just about everything in the book to soothe them. A cold wash rag for them to chew on in case they were uncomfortable due to incoming teeth, a warm bath in the kitchen sink case they were cold, a million different pacifiers that they only repeatedly spit out. The most peace Harry could get was about an hour when they exhausted their tiny body from wailing and dozed off for a bit, but as soon as they came to, the waterworks started again and Harry was back to nearly pulling his hair out. 

It broke his heart seeing his baby so upset. He was at the point where he felt like a failure of a father. It hadn’t even been a full day since Y/N had left and it felt like everything was falling apart without her. They didn’t have a dirty diaper, didn’t have a fever, didn’t have an empty belly, yet they refused to stop wailing at the top of their lungs like Harry was hurting them just by being around them. He was almost ready to throw in the towel and call Y/N to beg her to come home early until he remembered he had one more lifeline before ruining Y/N’s weekend trip.

//

“Do wha’?” Harry mumbled tiredly yet dumbfoundedly into the sleek, black cell phone he held to his ear.

It was nearly two in the morning. He wasn’t expecting her to pick up the phone, but he sure was glad that she did. He’d hoped she could give him some advice, to tell him what to do or even offer to come over and help. But this was the last thing he’d ever expected his mother to say.

“I’m serious, love. You loved it too when you were being a fussy baby. Something about the sounds of the engine. Put ya right to sleep every time.”

“Tha’s ridiculous. It’s two in the morning.”

“You asked, Har. Just try it. Drive around the block and see if it calms them down a bit. Call me back if that doesn’t work and I guess I can come ‘round.”

Harry was never sure how she always managed to sound so calm. Maybe it was the fact that she’d raised him and his sister at the same time, so anything after that was a piece of cake. Even the sound of her voice was comforting to him and enough to ease some of his nerves. But maybe that was just because she was his mother. 

“Alright. I’ll let ye’ know how it turns out. Thanks f’ pickin’ up so late.”

“Love you, Harry.”

“Love ya too, mum.”

Harry ended the call and tossed his cell onto the unmade bed he shared with Y/N. It looked awfully empty without Y/N in it and part of him wondered if part of the reason why he’d contemplated calling her to come home early was that he missed her warm presence in the house and everything felt cold and wrong without her. He wonders if this is how she feels when he leaves for tour, but doesn’t have much time to dwell on it due to the piercing cries coming from the nursery where the baby had been lying down in an attempt to sleep.

“I hear ye’, I hear ye’,” Harry groaned as his feet padded over the soft carpet to the crib where the baby was. 

“It’s gonna be alright, bubby. Promise ye’.”

He carefully lifted their strained body up from the mattress pad and began patting them on the bum, as if that would soothe them in the slightest at this point. Maybe it wasn’t for the baby but more so Harry. Their tiny little toes were curled in on themselves as they pawed at their face and continued to cry. Harry used to think their cries were cute, he really did. But now, each little huff and puff that left their chest put Harry closer and closer to the edge and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

After placing them snuggly in their carrier, Harry toted both them and his now lukewarm mug of tea to the garage. The Ferrari was the vehicle of choice, mostly because it was the easiest set of keys for him to find and he wasn’t going to spend another second looking for any other keyring. He strapped the baby securely into the backseat of the bright yellow car before hopping in on the driver’s side. He rubbed his dull, tired eyes with the backs of his hands before opening the garage door and bringing the engine to life.

This better fucking work, Harry thought to himself as he peeled out of his private driveway and onto the streets of his neighborhood.

//

Harry couldn’t believe it. Fifty-two seconds. Literally fifty-two seconds after he had turned onto the desolate street that his house was on and began driving aimlessly was all it took for his baby, who has been screaming non-stop for going on six hours, to stop crying and fall asleep immediately. It made Harry laugh out loud at how ridiculous he looked. It was nearing three o'clock in the morning and here Harry was, in his upper class, gated community driving around in a bright yellow Ferrari wearing a shirt covered in baby spit-up and hair that hadn’t been washed in god knows how long - all to make his baby go to sleep.

He kept his low beams on, fearing that he might draw the wrong type of attention at this hour and end up having the police called on him. There was almost something soothing about the engine to him too, he thought. But in actuality, it was probably just that fact that this is the longest he’d gone without listening to his baby cry like someone was inflicting excruciating pain on their tiny little body. 

Harry sipped his tea in between turning corners and continued to creep through the empty streets. After nearly twenty minutes of silence, he felt like it was safe to say that his baby was out for the night. At least he really fucking hoped so considering he would have been out for the night after crying as hard as they had been. Just as he was ready to make the left turn that would take him back to his home, his phone rang, nearly making him jump out of his skin at how the ringer pierced the silence in the car.

He checked in the reflective mirror to make sure that the interruption hadn’t disturbed the baby’s sleep. Thankfully, it hadn’t and they were still sleeping soundly with their cheeks squished against the straps of the car seat and their blanket tucked snuggly around their body like a little burrito.

“Hello?”

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaarry,” her voice bled through the speaker and into his ear. 

She was drunk. Almost certainly.

“Hiiiii, lovie,” Harry drew his voice out slightly to mimic hers.

“I didn’t think you’d be awake this late. Just wanted to check on you guysssss.”

He heads her huff loudly and some rustling in the background that sounded like sheets crumpling. She was most likely coming home from the club and getting ready for bed seeing as it was now well past three o'clock in the morning.

“We’re alright,” he decided to spare her the gruesome details about how their child had been screaming nonstop and not worry her pretty drunk head, “Wha’ about you? Ye’ havin’ fun?”

“Soooooo much fun,” she giggled before sighing, “But I miss you guys sooo much. I think I might come home tomorrow.”

“Why come home early if you’re havin’ soooooooo much fun?” Harry chuckled quietly into the phone.

 “Because I miss you and I miss the baby and the bed in my hotel room is cold and empty without you and it feels weird not waking up to breastfeed at 1 o'clock in the morning,” she rambled, “Wait, why are you whispering?”

The corners of Harry’s lips turned up when he realized she was saying the exact words he had been thinking earlier that evening about being miserable at night without her.

“The baby’s asleep in the backseat-”

“Backseat? You’re in the car?” her voice sobered up immediately.

“No, no. It’s not like that,” Harry did his best to quickly backtrack and reassure her that it was nothing bad that landed them on the road at half-past three, “Everything’s fine. Bubby wouldn’t stop cryin’ so mum told me to take em for a drive and see if it calmed them down. Worked pretty well. They were out before I even made it past the neighbor’s house. Turns out the Ferrari’s better for more than just looks.”

She scoffed on the other end, making Harry furrow his brows in confusion but quickly fade into a smile after she spoke.

“The Ferrari, huh? You never take me out in that thing anymore. Do you like bubs more than me now?” 

He couldn’t see her, but he knew for a fact she was dramatically pouting against the glass screen of her phone.

“Hey, tha’s not nice,” Harry chuckled softly, “Don’t make me pick favorites. It was the only key I could find. Think I accidentally washed the keys to the Audi last night. I’ve been so tired lately I can barely see straight.”

“Welcome to my world, bubby.”

She wasn’t trying to be snide or dismiss him, it was just her drunken mind speaking for itself and Harry knew that.

“Anywayyyys. You owe me a ride in the Ferrari when I get back.”

“Only if ye’ promise to stay away for the rest of the weekend like ya planned. I won’t let ye’ back in this house if you ditch ye’ friends for us.”

Harry’s eyes were getting droopy and he decided to finally head back to the garage to park the car and go back inside. 

“You guys are more important, though.”

Even though she was drunk, she was being honest and it warmed Harry’s heart. 

“We’ll be waiting right here for ye’, love. ‘S probably time for all of us t’ go t’ bed now, innit?”

“I guesssssss,” she groaned through a yawn.

Harry laughed once more at her innocence, “Take care of yourself for me, yeah? Wash your face and leave some water on the nightstand for in the morning.”

“Sure thing, daddy.” 

“Hey! Can’t be talkin’ like that when you’re not around. S’not fair.”

Harry was just messing with her, but there was some slight truth to his words.

“Alright! Alright,” she sleepily giggled, “I’ll save it for when I get back. ‘M gonna go to bed for real now. Give bubby a kiss for me.”

“I will. Love ye’.”

“Love you too, H.”

Harry hung up before her, knowing she’d fall asleep with her phone in her hand if he didn’t end the call first. He took one last look at the sleeping infant in his backseat before shutting off the whirring engine of the Ferrari that he’d just parked in his open garage. Just seeing the peacefulness that washed over their features and the way their lips turned out in a pout from having such chubby cheeks was enough for Harry to take back every hostile thought he’d had earlier tonight. 

Before he attempted the impossible mission of transferring his bub from car to crib without stirring them, he decided to snap a photo to send to Anne to let her know that her advice was greatly appreciated and that bub had taken to the engine sounds without a fight. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without his mother. Well, both his own mother and his baby’s mother. He owed them so much more than he could ever possibly give back to them, he thought to himself as he placed one last goodnight kiss on his child’s forehead before tiptoeing out of the nursery and into his bed to sleep peacefully and dream of two days from now when his love would be home and they could be a family together again.

[herohawks]

tattoo/actor au! part 4

one / two / three 

after hawks “confesses” that he’s kinda-sorta famous to dabi, it grants them a lot more freedom to do couple-y shit with each other.

for instance: one day during filming, hawks is chilling in the director’s chair during break that he’s not supposed to sit in but what are they gonna do, fire him? 

when something icy cold is pressed to his cheek and oh!! it’s dabi! with.. an iced coffee? for him?? hawks is both elated and super confused: happy bc his boyfriend surprised him at work with one of his most favorite things; but confused because he’s 99% sure that the area they’re filming in has a crap ton of security and boyfriend or not, how the hell did dabi manage to sneak in??

so hawks is like “how did you even get in?” and dabi shrugs, all nonchalant, and replies, “told ‘em who i was and they let me in”. hawks is kinda like, huh ok. who knew dating me would have such VIP perks, amirite?

ofc dabi omits the crucial detail that he’d given the name “todoroki” to the security guards, had flashed his blue eyes under the sunglasses and shown them his ID before they allowed him in. then, to cover his bases, offered to get them endeavor’s autograph to keep their mouths shut. it all worked out in the end, so it’s not worth telling.

and, hawks being hawks, is so excited to have dabi here at work that he has to show off his crazy hot boyfriend to all his coworkers. after all, he’s talked nonstop about dabi since they went official - the least he can do is at least introduce them to the man himself. and while dabi is fondly exasperated at being dragged around to every corner of this godforsaken set, he’s also secretly pleased that hawks wants him to meet his friends. that he’s not shy to be dating someone like dabi.

so dabi puts up with being toted around like arm candy from one person to the next. everyone is ... nice enough. there’s a few who stare at dabi like they can’t quite place where he’s from, and a couple who outright ask, “have we met before?” dabi keeps it vague - says in his line of work, he meets all sorts of people; has been invited to a few big parties here and there.

and, funnily enough, everyone rly likes dabi and ask hawks about him a lot. and on the occasion that dabi stops by to surprise hawks, he’s usually swarmed by hawks’ costars, eager to chat. they’re quick to include dabi into their social circle, but dabi always manages to stay engaged enough to be friendly without actually accepting any invitations anywhere.

sometimes, on the days when hawks gets a long lunch, him and dabi will go out to eat. while dabi prefers a corner booth somewhere tucked away, hawks loves being by open windows - loves being able to people-watch and look outside. and dabi is weak and puts up with the random passerby who gawks at them as they try to enjoy their meal in peace. and hawks being the kind of guy he is: he smiles and waves to those who stare as they walk by, gamely signs autographs and takes pictures when fans come up. with the constant interruptions, dabi would think hawks would be, at the very least, mildly annoyed. but, hawks genuinely appreciates his fans and loves interacting with them - it’s ... so much different from how dabi was raised to treat fans, which was to accept their admiration, but to keep interactions to a minimum. dabi can’t say he’d ever made any meaningful connections with his past fans, whereas hawks has about a dozen fan art and mail plastered to his fridge at home.

and maybe, maybe, dabi is learning to accept that the acting industry isn’t all bad.

[skylar102]

First of all, congratulations on 400 followers!! That's awesome! You deserve it 💙💙💙 For your prompt opening: I have an angst prompt because, well, you know me. I was thinking that Alec has a hard day with the Downworld Cabinet and Magnus is torn between his fellow Downworlders (who are all telling him Alec is wrong; whether he actually is or not is up to you) and his loyalty to his boyfriend. Angst ensues. Perhaps a bit of crying, if you're feeling adventurous? Thanks! No rush to write it :)

So this turned out more angsty than I planned but hey I’m not gonna complain about that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Warning for self harm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus comes home to a quiet loft. He knows that Alec is here because his bow and quiver are on the rack by the door. There’s no lights coming from the living room and the french doors to his balcony are closed. 

“Alexander?” he calls out. There’s no response.

Magnus thinks back to the cabinet meeting he just got back from. While the one that Alec has created is leaps and bounds ahead of anything any other Institute, or Lilith even the Clave, is doing, the Downworld Leaders of New York still wanted to have another with just them. 

Judging by how tonight’s meeting went, he can only imagine Alec’s meeting with them. Meliorn, Lorenzo, Maia, and Raphael all hounded him about Alec and his unwillingness to budge on certain topics discussed at the meeting. Of course, being Alec’s boyfriend meant that everyone flocked to him about complaining about the shadowhunter. 

Magnus regrets agreeing to accompany Lorenzo to the meeting, but when the High Warlock requests your presence at a cabinet meeting you don’t turn it down. Of course, if he had known it was going to be a shout fest about how his boyfriend is handling the recent downworld disappearances, he would have declined.

While Magnus knows that Alec is working nonstop to find the person causing the disappearances, he understands why the other’s are so upset. Magnus doesn’t believe that Alec insinuated that the person responsible was a downworlder over a shadowhunter. Magnus doesn’t want to accept that was the case, but being against four people in that situation doesn’t hold any power, especially when the said four are fueled with anger.

“Alexander,” he calls out again. 

The kitchen is empty, there are no plates in the sink which means Alec has not eaten yet, and knowing how stressful this week has been for Alec also means he probably missed lunch as well. He checks the bedroom and sees everything is where he last saw it when he left that evening. 

Magnus is starting to worry. He knows that he tuned the wards to allow Alec to know when he arrives at the loft. Mostly for selfish reasons. Magnus could never say no to welcome home kisses and hugs and Alec excelled at both of those. Coming home to a quiet loft, while is not out of the ordinary, but most of the lights are off save for a few lamps is new. 

Magnus starts to move at a faster pace. He checks every room in the loft and turns up empty. He’s about to grab one of Alec’s sweaters when he hears a noise on the roof. A loud thump. A cold dread fills his stomach. Magnus doesn’t stop to guess the sound as he rushes towards the spiral stairs that lead to the roof. He takes two steps at a time to get to the roof faster. A million scenarios filling his mind as he reaches the roof.

He halts before opening the door. If Alec is hurting himself he doesn’t want to bust through the door, scaring his boyfriend. He takes a deep breath to compose himself before he turns the knob. The sight that greets him has his stomach dropping. 

After Alec moved in, Magnus didn’t want the noise of workout equipment clunking through the loft, so he compromised with his boyfriend to put it on the roof and magic the patio to block out all types of weather. That way he could work in his apothecary in peace while Alec got in his daily workout. Magnus was more than happy to oblige if it meant that when he took breaks from potion making he got to ogle at his boyfriend.

Magnus wants to burn the equipment to ash at the very moment. 

There’s equipment scattered about the roof like it was thrown to the side. Heavy rope is frayed and torn, like someone overused them, and judging by the small red stains on the ends, someone did. Magnus takes his eyes away from the equipment and focuses on Alec.

His boyfriend is going at the free-standing punching bag like it murdered his family. Every jab and kick directed at the bag is loud and painful. Magnus winces at every hit. Alec hasn’t noticed him yet, too focused on destroying the bag in front of him. The blank look on his boyfriend’s face has his heart breaking. 

“Alexander,” Magnus whispers between hits. 

He watches Alec’s head tilt his way but his boyfriend doesn’t stop his attack on the bag. If anything he seems to go harder and faster. 

“If you’re here to yell at me too,” Alec pants. “Then just get it over with.”

“Yell at you- Alexander I don’t want to yell at you.” Magnus begins to slowly make his way to Alec, not wanting to upset him further. 

“You should.” Alec delivers a particularly hard punch to the bag. “Everyone else did, why not my warlock boyfriend as well? Seems only fair.”

Magnus knows that Alec is in a bad mindset right now, but he still flinches at the words.

“Alexander, you have to know that I would never do that,” Magnus reasons.

“You did once before with the Soul Sword. Why would this be any different.”

Magnus has heard enough. Right as Alec is about to land a right hook, Magnus magics the punching bag away with a swirl of blue sparks. Alec stumbles forward with his momentum but manages to balance himself. His boyfriend’s chest is heaving and he’s covered in sweat. He doesn’t turn to address Magnus, his gaze focused on Brooklyn’s rooftops. 

“Alexander please,” Magnus begs.

“What do you want me to say?” Alec demands turning towards Magnus. “That I fucked up? I know I did, I ruined the one good thing I had going for the downworld because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”

“I'm sure that is not true.”

“I threw out the idea that a downworlder could be responsible for the kidnappings of other downworlders because it hurt watching people I know and trust bash my people and say it was someone under my command,” Alec explains. “I should have kept my mouth shut but I want to explore all possibilities with the cabinet before we jump to conclusions.”

Alec scoffs and begins to pick up the weights on the ground. “Seems that a shadowhunter insinuating the possibility that a downworlder was responsible for this was unimaginable. I was trying to cover all grounds with the investigation, I don’t even have suspects.”

“Alexander you have to understand how that sounds to them,” Magnus tries to justify. Alec stops his movements, his hold on the weight tightens. “For hundreds of years, we’ve had to endure-”

“You think I don’t know that!” Alec turns and shouts at him, making Magnus take a step back. Alec has never shouted at him before. “You think I don’t know how much my people have wronged downworlders? That I don’t think about it every single day what my people have done, what I’ve had to witness with my own eyes? I am well aware of the atrocities my people have committed.”

Alec’s chest is heaving and his hands are clenched tight around the weights in his heads. It’s only now that Magnus realizes that it’s not sweat dripping from Alec’s hands. It's blood. 

“Knowing all of that, knowing what my people have done doesn’t mean that I am not going to explore all avenues on this investigation. Maybe I could have worded it differently but I’m not about to just focus on a group of people without any evidence to back it up. That would make me just as bad as the people before me.”

“Alexander,” Magnus interrupts, he can’ take his eyes off Alec’s hands. “Perhaps we should head inside.”

“Why so you can continue to tell me how I fucked up in a place that I call home?” Alec laughs hollowly, he puts the last of the weights back on the rack.  “I’d rather sleep at the Institute tonight.”

Alec walks past Magnus. He doesn’t hesitate to grab Alec’s bicep stopping his boyfriend. He knows that if he lets Alec walk through that door, their relationship will never recover from this. Magnus doesn’t want this strain to weigh on them both. 

“Alec please, don’t leave,” Magnus pleads, his grip on Alec’s arm tells him how much his boyfriend is trying to hold it together. Alec’s arm is shaking so much that Magnus is surprised he was able to clean up the weights with how bad he’s trembling. “Let’s just, go inside and talk about this.” Magnus reaches for the hand closest to him, magic already sparking at his fingertips. “And let me heal your-”

Flinching at the small touch on his hand, Alec rips his arm away before Magnus can heal it.

“Don’t,” Alec clips hoarsely. “Just don’t.”

Alec starts to move towards the door again, but Magnus is there again before his boyfriend can take another step. This time wrapping Alec in a hug from behind. He locks his hands to his wrists so that Alec can’t pull his arms apart. He feels the stuttering breathes that Alec is taking. Magnus rests his head at the base of Alec’s neck and closes his eyes. It hurts feeling how much Alec is shaking in his arms, how hard Alec is trying to keep it together. 

“Darling, please,” Magnus whispers into his boyfriend’s neck. The nickname has a quick sob escaping Alec’s lips. “I know that we are going to have different opinions on this and I know that you are trying your best. Maybe you could have worded things differently, maybe you worded them perfectly and the others were too high strung to listen to reasoning, but please. I don’t want to fight with you and have you leave.”

The shaking has increased and Magnus can feel drops of water hit his arms. Magnus releases the locked grip and moves in front of him. His own eyes start to water at the sight that greets him. 

Alec’s face is covered in tears streaks, his lower lip clenched between his teeth to stop sobs from breaking out. Magnus cups his boyfriend’s face and begins to wipe away the tears.

“Why is everything I do not good enough?” Alec quietly sobs out.

That’s all Magnus needs to hear. He pulls his boyfriend into his arms as the sobs get louder. Magnus tucks Alec’s head into his neck as he cries. A hand goes to the back of Alec’s head while the other rubs up and down his boyfriend's back. Magnus feels his shirt tighten as Alec grips it. Magnus quietly rocks them gently back and forth.

“I got you, darling,” Magnus whispers into Alec’s ear.

Magnus’ focus is all on Alec, he doesn’t know how much time has passed as they stand there. He doesn’t stop the embrace, doesn’t pull back. He waits until Alec is the one to let go. Even when Alec does eventually loosen his grip on his shirt, Magnus doesn’t want to let go. 

His hands immediately go to Alec’s face again to wipe away the remaining tears on his boyfriend’s face. Alec, clearly exhausted from working out and crying leans into the touch closing his eyes. Alec’s breath still shudders even as the worst of his emotions have passed.

“Alexander,” Magnus sighs. “Can I please heal your hands?”

Alec doesn’t open his eyes when he nods. Magnus releases his head and moves his hands to Alec’s. Gentle blue sparks caress Alec’s hands as Magnus sets about healing them. He watches his magic stitch Alec’s hands back together and clean off any blood. As the last drop disappears, Magnus raises Alec’s hands pressing a kiss to each knuckle. 

“Let’s head inside, take a shower and go to bed, hm?” Magnus suggests as Alec stands there with his eyes still closed. Alec shakes his head.

“No, I- I should call the members of the cabinet and apologize,” Alec says.

“That can wait until tomorrow,” Magnus reasons, already pulling Alec towards the door. “I think a night’s rest will do everyone some good. Continuing the conversation when emotions are still high is not going to help anyone.”

“Magnus I can’t just leave it like that, I should-.” Magnus presses a finger to his lips.

“None of that,” Magnus stops. “We are going to go inside, you are going to hop in the shower while I cook up something for you and you will eat it, and then we are going to fall onto the bed with my best linens and I am going to cuddle you until you fall asleep.”

Alec lets out a huff as a small smile appears on his face. Magnus doesn’t remove his finger until Alec nods his head. 

“Excellent.” Magnus grips Alec’s arm and pulls him inside. 

When they get to the main floor, Magnus shoves Alec towards the show with a stern look, getting a small chuckle out of Alec. Magnus heads to the kitchen and starts preparing a small meal. He doubts that Alec will want anything hearty so he settles for making soup. By the time he pours two bowls, Alec is walking out of their room in sweats and a t-shirt with damp hair. 

They eat in silence. Magnus can tell that his boyfriend is not in the mood to talk by his drooping eyes. A yawn breaks past Alec’s lips as he finishes the bowl. Magnus magics the empty bowls to the sink and drags Alec towards their bed. It’s telling how tired his boyfriend is when Magnus just has to give him a light push to get into bed. 

Magnus crawls into bed on his side and drags Alec to him. Alec rests his head on Magnus’ chest and melts. Magnus hums a soft song as he feels the tension leave Alec’s body and soon enough small snores fill the room. Magnus kisses the top of his head and reaches to turn off the bedside lamp.

[cursebreaker-lilith]

HPHM Bang--home

For the @hphmbang2020 ! 

It was fun to write this? The Weasley’s are great! I don’t focus on them enough. Math is not my forte (lol) but ages should be roughly: Bill-16, Charlie-14, Percy-11ish, Fred and George-9, Ron-7, Ginny-6.

The art that goes with this is done by @kathrynalicemc ! You can find the art here ^^

Story under the cut or on Ao3!

A day in the Burrow always begins with Molly Weasley in the kitchen. She’s up before anyone else, dressing quickly so she can get some food into her husband before he leaves for work.

It’s quiet in the house, save for the spells she whispers to ignite the stove fire and gather the dishes. Even the ghoul is quiet this early in the morning, no moans or thumps coming from the attic. It’s so different from how the Burrow is usually, and Molly always takes a moment to appreciate the quiet. She loves her family and doesn’t mind the cacophony they bring, but all that commotion just makes quiet moments like this sweeter.

Arthur is usually the first downstairs—and the first out the door depending on his work schedule. Molly gets a peck on the cheek as she hands Arthur a bowl of porridge. He smiles in thanks and begins to wolf it down. Molly holds back a sigh. Seems like today is one where he needs to leave early.

Her oldest three usually wander downstairs next. Both Charlie and Percy are natural early risers—Charlie likes to take a walk before breakfast in the early dawn light, while Percy basks in the rare silence of the house with a book. It’s the only time she doesn’t admonish him for having a book at the table. Molly knows how much he enjoys the calm.

Bill isn’t an early riser like his brothers, but he’s got into the habit of waking early anyways. When she had been pregnant at the same time as raising toddlers, she had relied on Bill to help her wake, dress, and feed his siblings. Even now, every time he comes downstairs, he asks her if she needs any help, to which she always replies that she doesn’t. She can handle the cooking just fine now, and she wants to let her eldest relax like a child should in the morning.

It’s usually the three of them, Molly, Bill, and Percy, for a while after that. Charlie is out walking, while the younger kids sleep. Ginny sometimes is with them, but as she’s gotten older, she has started to sleep in more. Molly misses bonding with her only daughter who is always so fascinated by seeing food float through the air, but she’ll let her daughter sleep in with her brothers.

Charlie’s arrival is usually when she goes to wake her other children—after she makes Charlie wash all the dirt he accumulated on his walk off at the door and change into clean clothing. None of them appreciate the wake up, especially Ron, but the smell of food wafting through the house usually convinces them it’s a good idea.

With the noise of groans echoing through the house and stomps coming up and down the stairs, she goes back down to the kitchen to start filling bowls. Once everyone’s downstairs, the quiet peace of the morning will be gone until tomorrow.

-x-

Breakfast is loud. Much too loud in the opinion of Percy. Why can’t they all just sit quietly and eat? Why does Fred have to chew with his mouth open to gross out Ginny who squeals? Why can’t his family be normal sometimes? It’s exhausting.

Percy is usually the first to finish because he actually eats his food instead of trying to convince Ron that spiders aren’t that bad. Percy scoffs inwardly. You’re not going to get anywhere, Charlie! He’s terrified of the pests.

He pushes his chair back. “May I be excused?”

His mother gives him a concerned look. “Did you eat enough? You finished pretty quick there.”

Percy considers it. “I’m—”

“Hey, are those the school owls? Percy, get the window.” Bill’s voice interrupts him, and Percy is out of his chair and opening the window before anyone can say anything else. He is turning eleven in a few weeks’ time, just before September 1st, and despite his parent’s assurances that he will be able to attend Hogwarts this year, a part of him is terrified he will have to wait another year.

His heart soars when he sees what the owl is carrying.

“Three letters!” Percy cries out triumphantly. He will get to go to Hogwarts!

Fred and George moan but that is to be expected. They are annoyances who are to be ignored whenever anything big happens. Ron and Ginny join in on the complaining as Percy passes envelopes to Bill and Charlie. He ignores them too, focusing only on his own letter.

Dear Mr. Weasley

We are pleased to inform you that….

He continues to read and desperately tries to ignore his younger siblings rising insistence that they all want to go to Hogwarts now. He can’t let them ruin this for him.

Percy switches to the booklist, scanning it. He has already read all the books for the year, except for the Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. Percy thought it would be that way. He always read Bill’s schoolbooks after his brother finishes a school year.

“So, what’s yours say, Perce?”

A hand snatches the letter from him. Percy sputters as Fred holds the letter in front of his face.

“Fred! Don’t take something from your brother’s hands like that!”

Despite their mother’s reprimand, Fred is unrepentant. “I want to see what the letter looks like!”

Percy snatches his letter back, silently fuming. Fred and George are always like this, ruining every good thing Percy gets. He gets that they’re little kids, but do they have to be so annoying all day every day? “Like you haven’t read Bill or Charlie’s letters? I’m going to my room.”

“Percy—” his mother tries to call, but he ignores her and dumps his empty bowl in the sink. Percy retreats upstairs to his room, ready to savor his Hogwarts letter in the relative quiet of the currently empty upstairs.

This is supposed to be a happy moment and those are always ruined when he’s around the twins.

-x-

Charlie surveys the collection of bits and bobs spread out on a towel. While the assortment of rocks in front of him is undoubtedly very cool looking—one rock is dark grey and shaped like a shoe if you squint, while another seems to have some sort of quartz in it—no matter how you look at it, none of his morning finds is a dragon scale.

Logically, Charlie knows it is unlikely he will find a dragon scale—or tooth, or claw, or dragon related anything—by the Burrow. They live nowhere near a dragon reserve and the Ministry of Magic strictly regulates where dragons can fly, but Charlie can dream. It is possible he could dig and find some dragon scale left behind centuries ago. It isn’t an unheard of thing, just rare. A slim chance is still a chance, and Charlie is nothing if not optimistic when it comes to dragons. He fully believes that he can join the small percentage of people who have happened upon dragon relics.

For now, he stuffs his collection of rocks back into his bag. He usually puts them in a chest by his bed, but Percy is sulking in the room they share and he doesn’t want to deal with his little brother’s snappish mood. It always takes Percy a while to calm down after Fred and George rile him up.

Instead, he goes outside. It’s a nice day. Slightly cloudy, of course, but it doesn’t seem to be rain clouds. As good flying conditions as it’s going to get.

None of his family is outside, so Charlie isn’t interrupted as he takes a broom from the shed and lifts off gently into the sky. He gives himself a minute to just enjoy the feeling of being in the air. Usually, one of his siblings would have noticed him on a broom by this point and begged for Quidditch help so they could also make the Gryffindor team when they went to Hogwarts. Charlie doesn’t mind helping them, not in the least bit, but it is nice to just fly without distractions. To hover and take in the land laid out before him. See light glisten on the river that winds its way through the countryside and into the distant Muggle town. Feel the sun on his back, giving him the slightest bit of warmth against the wind. Flying calms him, and, slightly ironically, grounds him. It reminds him that there is more to life than dragons, believe it or not.

He can’t really leave the shadow of the Burrow—they live too close to Muggles for him to really be able to fly—but doing lazy laps around his home is fine.

“Oi, Charlie! If you’re flying, then can you help us with Quidditch?”

Charlie snorts. The moment of peace was nice while it lasted.

-x-

Ron trudges up another flight of stairs, seriously regretting picking the top floor to live in once he was old enough to have his own room. It is one of the biggest rooms in the house and super cool, no doubt about it, but having to walk up all those stairs after several hours of playing Quidditch nonstop with his brothers is not fun. Not fun at all. Every muscle feels like it’s on fire and those last few steps seem to take forever to make.

He can’t help but let out a groan as he collapses onto his bed. He is covered in sweat and dirt and probably should shower before he gets his blankets and sheets dirty, but he’s too exhausted right now to bother. Mum will clean them anyways before the week is over.

The impromptu Quidditch practice went well, in Ron’s opinion. Fred and George had persuaded him and Charlie into dodging balls that they sent flying, but that wasn’t very hard, even for Ron. Their family didn’t have real bludgers to practice with and had to settle for regular balls that weren’t enchanted to knock people off brooms. Fred and George’s aim was improving, but they couldn’t send the balls flying that high.

Charlie had been amazing to watch. Unlike Ron, who had kept higher in the sky to avoid the twins being menaces, Charlie had kept the ground. Ron could understand how he had become Gryffindor’s Seeker in his second year—there was a precision to how he flew. He seemed to know exactly where Fred and George were going to hit the balls and swerved out of the way easily.

Ron wishes he could fly like that. He tries to tell himself that Charlie is that good because he is fourteen and a teenager, but sometimes Ron has trouble believing that. Charlie has natural talent, everyone says so, but they never say that about Ron.

Quidditch Through the Ages is still on his bed from where Ron had dropped it when he went running to practice Quidditch. He flops over onto his stomach and sighs, flipping through the book. It automatically opens to the section on the teams in Britain, specifically where the small part on the Chudley Cannons starts. Ron isn’t much of a reader, but he’s read this book dozens of times over.

His brothers favor other teams, but Ron thinks his favorite is the Cannons. He maybe relates to them a little. No one expects anything from the Cannon’s, so anytime they do well it’s a celebration.

Flipping through the book, Ron loses track of time. Someday, he wants to play for one of the team’s mentioned. That would be so cool. Quidditch is so cool. Maybe if he bothers Charlie enough they could practice again later—

“Ron!”

He jumps at his mum’s voice.

“Yeah?”

She opens his door a bit and peeks through. “Lunch is ready, dear. Did you not hear me?”

Ron smiles sheepishly. “No, sorry.”

Molly smiles back. “It’s fine. Just be down quickly, okay.”

He nods, and sets Quidditch Through the Ages down. Practice is nice, but food is even better.

-x-

Ginny smashes the two dolls against each other, almost angry that her dolls are made of fabric and not something harder. If they were, then there would be banging noises to represent how upset she feels, and also one might break and that would represent her feelings too.

Well, no, she doesn’t really want to break one of her toys, but she is still so angry! Her stupid brothers spent the whole morning playing Quidditch and when she tried to play with them too, they hadn’t let her. It isn’t fair! Ron is only a year older, so it isn’t like she’s too young. They were only doing it because she’s a girl and that is such a stupid reason.

She smushes the dolls together again in anger—pretending that they’re Fred and George colliding midair because that would be funny to watch—then throws one of the dolls across her room. It hits the wall and then the floor with next to no noise. Ginny pulls her knees to her chest and puffs out her cheeks.

Boys are stupid. Brothers are stupid.

“You okay there, Ginny?”

Ginny looks over to Bill standing in her doorway.

Okay, maybe all brothers aren’t stupid. Just most of them.

She continues to pout but doesn’t yell when Bill comes into her room and sits down across from her.

Bill has a small smile on his face. “Still angry about this morning?”

“No,” she lies. “Maybe.”

He winks at her. “They were being kind of mean, weren’t they?”

Ginny throws her arms out. “Yeah! They wouldn’t even let me watch!”

“Awful.”

“Right? They’re all such stupidheads.”

“The stupidest.”

With that agreement, Ginny finally relaxes and launches into a ramble about all the ways that her brothers (except Bill of course) are very stupid and mean. Bill nods and doesn’t interrupt which is why he is Ginny’s favorite and the only boy in the whole world who isn’t stupid. Well, Bill and her dad. And Harry Potter. They’re all okay.

“You okay now?” Bill asks and Ginny nods. It feels good to have someone take her complaints seriously and not make fun of them (like Ron or Fred or George always do) or reduce them (like her mum sometimes does).

“Thank you for listening,” she says, because she’s polite.

Bill laughs and musses up her hair. She benevolently lets him. “Anytime, kiddo. Have fun playing with your dolls.”

Ginny nods once more as Bill walks out. She crawls over to the other side of the room and guiltily picks up the doll she threw earlier.

“Sorry about that,” she tells the doll who does not reply. “I didn’t really mean to throw you.”

She crawls back to her original spot and picks up another toy on the way, an old doll-sized toy broom that barely can float after years of being owned by the Weasley’s. She puts one of her dolls on the broom.

“There. So, you’re the new Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies and…”

-x-

“So, I think we should first try tricking Ron—”

“Yeah, but if we do, then he’s just going to squeal to Mum—"

“Yeah, but if we try to just sneak into Mum and Dad’s room without a distraction, then we’re more likely to get caught. Ron’s gonna squeal but it’ll have her distracted.”

“Distracted? More like Mum’ll make us wash dishes the Muggle way as punishment.”

Fred and George glare at each other, neither wanting to cede victory to the other. Usually, they get along swimmingly and know just what the other wants, but sometimes fights do happen.

The two noticed their dad sneak in some chocolate bars the day before, likely for Percy’s birthday coming up soon, and he had hidden the chocolate somewhere in his and Mum’s bedroom so no one could eat it. Well, that’s just a silent challenge in the twin’s eyes! It probably wouldn’t take long to actually find the chocolate—Mum kept her room clean and they knew her regular hiding spots—but getting in is the hard part. Their mum always seems to know when they are sneaking into rooms not their own, and they always are scolded for it.

“We could always bribe Ron to help us,” George says eventually. Ron is the easiest of their siblings to bribe. “Instead of tricking him. We are looking for chocolate bars after all.”

Fred wrinkles his nose. “It’d work, sure, but then we’d have to actually give him some of our hard-won chocolate.”

George shrugs. “Can always tell him we found less than we really did. Or not tell him about the chocolate at all and trade a favor.”

“That could work,” Fred strokes his chin as if he is pondering something important and not candy theft. He grins. “We’ll just tell him we won’t bother him for a whole two weeks. That’ll probably work.”

George laughs. Ron is their favorite victim after Percy. Soon, he’ll be their main victim since Percy is off to Hogwarts in a month. “Give him a small reprieve before the real pranks start.”

Identical smirks grow on identical faces.

“Oh, yeah, this will be good.” Fred is laughing now too. “We can even extend it; say we won’t bother him until the others leave for Hogwarts. Lull him into a sense of false security.”

“Obviously, this means we need to come up with something good to do to him on September first.”

“Obviously,” Fred agrees, eyes alight with mischief. “Something big to do the moment we get back from King’s Cross.”

The two of them laugh, any tension from their small fight earlier gone.

George calms down first. “We can plan for that later. Now, we need to convince him to distract Mum so we can have that chocolate.”

Fred falls backwards onto the floor, staring at the ceiling with a smile on his face. “Chocolate. That’s exactly what we need to plan the best prank ever.” He sits up and stretches. “Well, no time like the present! Let’s go.”

-x-

Bill studies the parchment in front of him. Only a few months previous he had taken his O.W.L.’s, and the letter with his exam grades had come a month ago. Despite all the panic he’d felt before and after the exams, Bill had done fine. His schedule the past few years, not even including any extracurriculars, had been packed with twelve classes. The fact that he passed every single one, that he received 8 O’s, 2 E’s and 2 A’s, was amazing and something to be celebrated. People would kill to have marks like that.

Still, part of him feels conflicted going into his sixth year. Apart from Divination and Muggle Studies, the two classes he received the Acceptable grades in, he can get into any N.E.W.T. level class he wants. He even managed to get the O necessary for Snape’s Potions class. But he doesn’t really want to leave any of his old classes behind. He knows it’s necessary and he knows what classes he needs to take to have a career in curse breaking, but he still is so reluctant to commit to them.

It’s the first step towards being an adult and, for the first time in a while, Bill doesn’t want to take the step.

He’s always had to act older than he was, told to look after his siblings and take care of them when his parents were busy, so he’s used to acting in adult ways. It isn’t anything new. But looking at his Hogwarts letter, it suddenly hits him that he is sixteen. One year from now, he’ll be considered an adult by wizarding laws. In two years, if he passes his classes and applies to Gringotts, he could very well be in a different country working to break curses in Egypt or Greece. It’s exciting, Bill can’t deny that, but also terrifying in a way.

Bill looks down once more at the letter from Hogwarts. Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy are the classes he needs to take to become a curse breaker. All are classes he received an O in. Bill loves learning and part of him wishes that he could take more classes than those five, but five N.E.W.T. level classes is already an insane workload. He can always study in his free time, or during vacation.

It’s later in the afternoon, the time of day he is pretty sure is called the golden hour. Outside, he can see that golden reflection in everything below him. He takes a steadying breathe, tries to feel as calm as the environment around him looks. It will be fine. Growing up and becoming and adult is okay.

“Bill? Are you up there? Dinner’s ready soon! Can you get your siblings down to the kitchen?”

Bill stretches, having been musing for quite a while. “Yeah! Be down in a sec.”

“Thank you, dear!”

He listens as his mum wanders away and smiles to himself. It’ll be fine. Growing up is just a new extension of what he’s already been doing his whole life—taking care of his family.

-x-

Depending on how work goes, Arthur usually comes home right as dinner is being served. He has no idea how Molly does it, how she always seems to know right when he finishes his paperwork and clocks out, but there’s rarely a day where he has to wait more than ten minutes for dinner.

He pecks Molly on the cheek, admires her smile, and listens to the jeers from the disgusted children at the table. Fred and George in particular are at that age where any sign of affection is considered sickening, while Ron and Ginny always try to mimic them.

“How’d work go, Dad?” Bill asks with a bright smile.

“Delightfully!” Arthur crows, mostly meaning it. There was more paperwork than usual today and he had to deal with Jameson, but he also had a Muggle-born witch explain to him how planes fly! Apparently, her Muggle brother works as an aerospace engineer and has spent a lot of time explaining the mechanics to her. He enthusiastically explains this to his considerably less excited children.

Ron crinkles his nose in confusion. “I didn’t understand any of that.”

“Dragons are cooler anyways,” Charlie adds predictably. “Do you want to know how they fly?”

“No,” comes several long-suffering voices, used to Charlie’s dragon rambles.

Charlie sulks a bit in his chair. “Dragons are cool,” he mutters.

“Maybe another time, Charlie,” Arthur says, smile still on his face. Charlie perks up a bit at that and nods. Arthur doesn’t mind listening to Charlie ramble—he knows what it’s like to have your passions thought of as weird and wants to give Charlie an outlet somewhere.

“Fred! George!” The two boys yelp at Molly’s loud exclamation. “You’ve barely eaten! Is there something wrong with the food?”

Both boys wildly shake their heads and begin to comically scoop large portions of shepherd’s pie into their mouths. Ginny laughs, but Molly purses her lips and gives Arthur a look. He nods slightly—the boys probably got into some food store and ate before dinner. He’ll have to look for that chocolate for Percy’s birthday cake he hid. That seems like the most likely thing they ate.

Conversation goes from there. Percy rambles a bit about receiving his Hogwarts acceptance letter and gets a proper congratulations for it. Bill talks about the classes he needs while Charlie valiantly tries to talk about dragons once more.

Dragon talk gets derailed by a long discussion about Quidditch after Fred makes a comment about something that happened earlier in the day. This draws in almost the whole family—only Percy and Molly stay quiet.

Arthur shares a smile with Molly as the discussion gets particularly lively. For all the still mornings they see and how much he enjoys those quiet moments, nothing beats the lively debates that happen at dinner where they are all together, as a family.

[darawonplease]

✵ ch.3 – blackout.

「 ☽ Ian's POV」

.

「 Ian, you’ve hid in your apartment for a week now, are  you alright?」

「 Dude, we need you at the studio」

「 I’ll get your lazy ass myself, I fucking swear」

.

I scrolled through the DPR group chat out of pure boredom, nothing more.

.

“450 missed messages, huh?”.

Quite a rare scenario, I was the person who usually spammed nonstop in our group chat, bothering the others.

I threw the phone over the coffee table in front of the leather couch where my body was laying, restless, completely drained. Like a stalled car I was stuck there, my limbs dangling down, almost touching the ground.

.

The sun splashing into a bundle of warm colors was a view I enjoyed quite a lot from my living room’s large windows. I almost refused to acknowledge how stunning that was just to keep lurking in the darkness, tucked away from any worry.

Defeat left such a bitter taste in my mouth. Our label was going through some rough times and I had abandoned the ship and retired in the comfort of my home for the time being.

I had felt strange ever since Chaerin left for LA. An eerie feeling stalked me each and every step I took, not allowing me any peace.

.

I looked over my shoulder, my home was completely trashed. Plastic bottles and takeaway boxes were scattered on the floor, my bed undone, all of the surfaces covered in dirty clothes, used glasses. A crack house would’ve been 10 times more hospitable than my apartment.

Maybe it was Chae’s sudden departure or maybe I was just exhausted by the useless amount of editing I did for some - now cancelled - DPR projects. A lethal mix of both certainly put me at my knees when it came to my psychological and physical health.

Overworking was my way to keep my mind busy and forcefully kick out any thought regarding her absence. It worked for a while until that day. The blackout.

I could sense a growing tension that took over me the moment I got into a fight with Dabin.

.

I couldn’t believe I had let myself get into those conditions. I was forced to contain my rage and melancholy inside the walls of my house; it was the only way to protect the people around me from my mood swings and irritability and, ultimately rest for a bit. I felt like shit.

With the last ounce of strength in me, I dragged my body over to the bathroom.

.

The mirror’s image told me that wasn’t me. That wasn’t Ian. Ian wouldn’t go into hiding in times of need. Ian wouldn’t get into violent fights. He wouldn’t disrespect his friends. That was the worst version of Ian. The scruffy looking hair, the unshaven face, the deep dark under eyes sitting under those dim eyes, the healing bruises on the cheek. I despised what I saw.

weak.

A deep voice started echoing in my head suddenly.

you’re pathetic.

fucking look at yourself.

you look like shit.

I firmly held my head between my hands, my brain felt like imploding in that instant. My hands started trembling out of control. I watched them twitch like crazy, completely powerless over them.

The more I tried to make up the details of my face in the reflection, the blurrier the vision in front of me became.

“Fuck… not again”.

✵

I woke up, strangled by the warmth of my dirty sheets. The stank of cigarettes and whisky choke me, almost making me gag.

“I need to change these”. I immediately thought to myself as I shoved them away from my body.

That persistent headache finally ceased to bother me; its intensity was nothing compared to the one I had the night before.

I slowly turned my head to the right, the blinds cut through the sunlight, just letting a couple of rays penetrate in the dark room as the day was breaking in.

I followed one of the gleams until it hit on tan bare skin.  Someone was lying on the other side of my bed.

.

“Wh-“.

.

A woman with platinum hair cascading on her pale face was still fast asleep beside me.  

I flinched at the sight of her unfamiliar features and covered my mouth to prevent myself from waking her up.

“Who is this person?” - I thought to myself, as I panicked to get out of bed. I needed to wrap my head around what was happening.

I desperately tried to cling onto the blurry, fleeting memories that vanished in the distance the more I tried to recall them. That now familiar feeling of loss slowly ate away every bit of my sanity.

how did this person end up in my house?

and in my bedroom?

did we…?

I wasn’t one who would hook up with random people. I just wasn’t that type of person.

I was definitely too old for that stuff and yet- a naked woman I didn’t recognize was in my bed.

I just couldn’t resolve the mystery as to where I had possibly met her, I could swear I didn’t step out of my house all week for the fear of hurting someone else. No matter how hard I tried to put together the clues around me, the puzzle was missing too many pieces.

.

maybe she just walked to my place.

what if I downloaded a dating app?

.

I frantically looked for my phone under the pillows, the bedsheets, in the drawers of the nightstand. With my face squished against the cold floor I scanned under the bed only to find a pile of random clothes that I then started to go through.

bingo.

There it was, buried under the mountain of dirty garments. I immediately searched for any dating app or messages on my phone to confirm my theory and prove myself I wasn’t actually crazy but to no avail. Of that sort of thing, not a trace.

.

“Good morning”.

.

The woman wrapped her arms around me and whispered in my ear with her raspy morning voice.

I froze in place, my mind going completely blank. Having that huge blackout of events didn’t give me any peace but It wasn’t the time to play detective. I had a complete stranger in my bedroom.

.

“G-good morning”. I forced myself to greet her with a confused smile.

.

She kneeled to get her stuff from the pile of clothes that stood up at my feet and started dressing up. I immediately turned around in shame at the sight of her naked body, my ears were burning red.

“Why are you so shy all of a sudden, oppa?”.

✵

“Come on, don’t be shy oppa!”.

Chae gently pushed a bowl of rice towards the other side of the table, where I was sitting.

“Just eat to your heart’s content”. She flashed her usual bright smile.

“If I'll find myself at the hospital for food intoxication, I will make your name Chae”.

I pointed at the chef with the spoon in my hand and chuckled, I just loved teasing her.

“Don’t be ungrateful and just eat, will ya?”. She pretended to be offended, crossing her arms and such. It was so obvious that she was anxiously waiting for my critique.

Without further ado I picked a spoonful of fried rice and started munching with no particular expectations. Not because I expected her to be a bad cook, I just didn’t want to put my expectations too high only to be left disappointed.

An explosion of flavors mixed and popped in my mouth. The aroma brought me back to when I was a child and my mom used to cook me a simple fried rice dish before leaving to work. Chae’s cooking felt like home.

I slowly nodded my head in satisfaction and licked my lips.

“It’s… meh-…alright”. I teased her again.

“Alright?! Spit what you ate, this instant!”. Chae threatened me with the wooden spoon she just picked up from the table to hit me on the arm.

“CHAE, OUCH, IT HURTS” - I hurriedly took another spoonful and immediately stood up from my seat, fleeing toward the hallway of her apartment.

“COME BACK YOU IDIOT!”. She chuckled.

✵

The annoyingly loud sound of the intercom made me snap back to reality.

.

“Hello? You okay? Someone is outside the door”.

The platinum-haired girl waved her hand in front of me to make sure I was listening to her, which I wasn’t until that moment.

I shook my head and sprinted towards the door.

.

“Come on man, don’t make me buzz for other 5 minutes”. I heard Scott’s stern, yet familiar voice.

I opened the door to find him and Cream on my doorstep, a dead-serious expression plastered on both of their faces. They made their way into my apartment before I could say anything.

“Wait guys I-“.

“Dude, you look like shit”, Cream exhorted, putting his hands at his sides.

Scott looked around my living room, his expression was distorted by a mix of disgust and disappointment as if he walked into a true crime scene.

“What’s up with this Ian? When did you start to smoke legit cigarettes?”.

“Me? You know I don’t smo-“.

He picked an ashtray stacked with cigarette butts from the coffee table and looked back at me with frustration.

“Where does that come from…?”, I muttered under my breath, surprised by the presence of that object in my home.

Cream carefully walked towards the kitchen, almost stumbling in some empty beer cans, “This is so depressing man”, He inspected the empty bottle of what looked like Jack Daniel’s on the messy kitchen counter.

“When did I drink that? Wait guys- “.

“Whoa Ian, are you not going to introduce us to your girl?”.

I widened my eyes at the sight of her; I had forgotten about the stranger in my bedroom for a hot minute.

.

“She’s…”.

.

 A drip of cold sweat dribbled down my forehead as I panicked to recall that person’s name; my mind could only crash into a blank wall.

I paused for an awful lot of time until she interrupted me.

.

“The nerve! How come you can’t even remember my name? After last night…You know what Mito? You’re a jerk”.

.

“W-what?...”.

.

An explosion of pain spread in my left cheek as she slapped me. She then marched directly out of the door, showing me her middle finger as I held my face in agony.

“Man…”, Scott sighed, “I see you’ve been keeping yourself busy lately…”. He pushed aside the stuff occupying the seating surface of the couch and made space for himself.

“Did she just call you? Mito? Ian? Are you into role-playing?”, Cream asked letting out a small laugh.

“Into what?...”.

 “Nevermind”. He heaved a deep sigh and slowly walked towards me, avoiding the trash on the floor like an obstacle course.

I just kept silent. I couldn’t throw a fit again just because I was so burned that I had a complete blackout. I just couldn’t.

“We left you alone for just a week and you managed to turn your pretty apartment into a dumpster”.

“y-yeah…”.

“And the girl? You never told me about that pretty blonde girl, did you? Ian you rascal”. Cream grinned, with a proud smile.

“I- I met her recently I guess…”. I lied, not knowing how to justify myself.

.

Pushing onto his thighs for support, Scott stood up from his seat, “Ian… I know It’s not the best of times for us right now… but hang in there, okay? We’ll get on our feet soon, we do need you though”, He shook my shoulders to make sure I listened to him.

“Yeah sure…”. I just kept nodding.

“You still haven’t talked with Dabin, did you?”.

“I haven’t”. I looked down at the mess in the living room, attempting to avoid his inquisitorial gaze.

.

A raw and unfamiliar beat started playing out of the blue, interrupting Scott’s soon to be scolding.

“Look Scott, Ian actually worked on something”. He redirected his attention towards me with a satisfied smile on his lips.

Scott raised his eyebrow and looked over the laptop, “Have you?”, his eyes went back to me.

“This? No-”

The strained vocals on the track suddenly became an unsettling background to the messed-up scenario.

.

again?

.

 Scott’s scrutinizing gaze felt like a heavy blanket over my body. I could sense the abrupt change of atmosphere, the growing distance between the two of us, the distrust.

“Well, that’s your voice Ian. If not you, who did?”, he smacked his lips.

Cream kept looking around my laptop, “This demo is very aggressive, it’s quite unlike you”, he exhorted.

“I-”.

“I like it, It has character, It’s something different from what you usually write”.

I dashed towards the computer to verify myself.

.

 「 maybeittookover.m4a」 

.

“It happened again huh…”. I murmured under my breath. That was the second time an unknown track appeared on my desktop out of the blue.

“Ian? Are you ok? You’re spacing out- like a lot”, Cream tilted his head at me, “Wait, are you high?”.

“N-no, I’m just really really really tired, that’s all…”.

Scott took a short trip to the bathroom only to throw a towel on my head.

“Wash up, we’re taking you to get a breath of fresh air”.

-

previous chapter. ✵  next chapter. ✵ masterlist

[chroniclackofselfpreservation]

Creatures of the Night

Chapter 33 - could you find a daydream in the dead of night?

Back to the Beginning   < Previous chapter / Next chapter >   

AO3

Masterlist

(TW: scary/nightmarish imagery, memories of an abuser, dissociation,)

(The title of the chapter comes from "Unbroken" by Birdy.)

It was late afternoon by the time Daveigh had forced Patton to call it quits for the day. He’d been going at it nonstop for hours, and while he wasn’t physically tired, his mind felt raw and tender, like thinking too hard might give him an aneurism. Projecting-wise, the memories weren’t getting any easier to handle no matter how hard he tried to distract himself, and he couldn’t get farther than a couple dozen yards from his body without his mind yanking him back out of fear.

“It’s only your first day of training,” she said as they hiked back to camp. “You’ll get it.”

“Thanks,” Patton said, surprised at the genuine optimism in his reply. He wasn’t only confident that he’d get it down eventually, but was eager to contact Roman and Virgil as soon as possible. Patton wasn’t naïve enough to think it would end well given the difficulties projecting was already giving him, but he had to try. He wasn’t blind. Patton could see the strain all of this put on Logan. He always tried to have control of a situation—especially one concerning the safety of his friends. It was the least Patton could do to ease his stress.

The two of them arrived at camp to find Logan sitting by the unlit firepit whittling a stick with a familiar, pale stone. Patton recognized it as the one Mikhail had tried to hand to him before he’d projected into the past. The man in question stood at one of his handmade tool sheds, smashing rocks together at an angle and testing the subsequent edges with his thumb.

Daveigh wandered over to chat with Mikhail, and Patton approached the hunched, focused figure at the firepit. Logan didn’t look up, engrossed in his task.

“What are you carving?” he asked gently, trying to keep from startling him—especially while he wielded such a sharp blade.

Logan looked up, knife halting mid-stroke. His face immediately brightened. “Patton! Oh, it’s—well, I was attempting to make a face, but I’m not very good at it yet.”

Patton tilted his head. “I can see it if I squint,” he teased good-naturedly, taking a seat by Logan’s side. “I doubt I could do much better,” he admitted.

I know a warrior when I see one. Patton still balked at Mikhail’s words. He may know how to shiv someone before they could do the same to him, but he was no trained fighter and his hands weren’t steady enough for detailed work like whittling. Logan, on the other hand, surely could have been a surgeon if it had interested him.

“How did you training with Daveigh go?” he asked, the edge of his bottom lip held between his teeth in concentration as he worked the blade around a lump Patton assumed was a nose.

“It went well,” he said. “I’m definitely making progress. I—” he glanced over at Daveigh and lowered his voice. “I think I might try contacting Roman and Virgil tonight.”

Logan’s brow furrowed, but he didn’t look up. “Are you sure? You’ve only been at it for a day, Patton. I don’t want you to risk yourself if you aren’t ready.”

“I can do it,” Patton assured him, and he wasn’t completely lying. Heck, he’d projected back in time to see Virgil and hadn’t so much as sneezed. Given that he had similar feelings for Roman, it made sense that traveling there would be easier than simply projecting somewhere random. Daveigh had said that their powers flowed easily toward those they loved. Besides, Patton wasn’t as concerned with how it would affect him afterwards. All that mattered was getting the message to them. Once they had that peace of mind, they could deal with the repercussions.

Logan stopped and met his eyes, searching. Patton hated how easily his face clicked into an innocent smile, his mind racing, coming up with a million different outcomes and subsequent excused he could use.

“I trust you, Patton,” he said, and if not for Patton’s already firm façade, he probably would have flinched at the words. “You know more about his area of magic than I do.” Logan turned back to his work. “What did Daveigh have to say about it?”

“She’s curious, mostly,” he said, quickly sorting out a believable lie. “There hasn’t been an oracle like me, well, ever. She said it could go either way, but I’m confident I can handle it.”

The best lies, Merri had taught him, are almost completely true.

For the rest of the evening, Patton, Logan, and Daveigh helped Mikhail around camp. He’d finished their sleeping mats, which they moved into Daveigh’s hut and discussed where they could build a hut of their own in the future. Jorryn appeared from the jungle just as the sun was setting, arms laden with food. Berries and nuts, roots, melons, and mangos; it was the most food Patton had seen in a while. Thankfully, there was more than enough for everyone to eat their fill.

They sat around the fire Daveigh telling them of ancient kingdoms and daring adventures. Patton pierced pieces of mango with a sharp stick and roasted them over the fire for Logan and himself.

“…swung her sword down with a mighty roar—but she noticed the assassin’s hidden dagger too late. The blade took her in the side, right at the joint in her armor,” Daveigh said, eyes wild with excitement as she wove her tale. Patton gasped, and Daveigh’s smile grew wider. Mikhail listened passively, whittling a stick into various shapes and designs with far more dexterity than either of them could dream of. Jorryn sat forward, elbows resting on his knees, hands hanging down limply. Tiny, almost translucent vines sprouted from the ground and twined through his fingers—as if the island itself were a child gripping the fingers of its father. He stared at the fire without expression, lily-pad skin turned rich olive-gold in the firelight. The patches of orange and white lichen mottling his face, arms, chest, and legs turned warm and flickering. Patton hadn’t paid the Green Man much attention since arriving, however he went off on his own most of the time, rarely hanging around the rest of them. Patton hadn’t heard him speak more than a few brief sentences.

Patton could see a pervasive melancholy lingering behind his defensive air. Patton looked away, not wanting to stare.

“Blood spilled from the wound, and Lady Fenroy knew she had little time left. Her trusty bowman shot an enchanted arrow at the attacker from his perch, forcing the enemy back. The Lady’s panther bared its fangs and—”

Something rustled from the shadows of the jungle, hidden by the darkness of night. Patton shot to his feet and Daveigh paused, looking confused. Mikhail also looked as if he’d heard it, though he didn’t seem nearly as worried about it. Alert, but not tense.

“Patton?” Logan inquired softly, taking the stick of roasted mangos from him before they brushed the dirt. “What’s wrong?”

As if on cue, two figures emerged from the foliage, blinking in the light from the fire. Patton relaxed, sitting back down. It was Eudora and Killian.

A smile broke across Logan’s face.

“Would you two care to join us?” Mikhail asked, equally pleased at their arrival.

“Oh, they’re invited, now?” Jorryn muttered. “After wanting nothing to do with us for the past few centuries?”

“Killian wanted to come,” Eudora said curtly. “I have no intention of bothering you all.”

“It’s alright if they stay, right?” Patton said, plowing through the tension by force.

“I see no reason why not,” Logan said, looking quite excited. Patton felt a besotted smile work its way onto his face at Logan’s expression.

Killian pulled Eudora by the hand, coming around to sit next to Mikhail. Thankfully, Daveigh cleared her throat and continued her story, gradually easing the tension in the group. Even Jorryn relaxed a bit. Killian leaned over and talked to Mikhail about his knife, inspecting the runes with a smile. Daveigh eventually fell back into her excited, animated way of storytelling, doing exaggerated expressions and voices that made Patton giggle. Eudora lingered outside of conversation, but Patton could tell she was listening to the story and trying not to react at each twist and turn.

Patton picked the hot, dripping mango off the stick, handing one to Logan and popping the other into his mouth. He smiled and hummed happily as the juice covered his tongue, the sugars sticky and caramelized. Logan looked at him with a strange expression on his face, a faint smile of his own crawling its way onto his face.

Patton couldn’t remember being this content since their arrival on the island.

Daveigh finished her story and they all clapped—some more enthusiastically than others.

“Thank you, thank you,” she said, bowing with a flourish. “Now, excuse me while I stuff my face. I’m starving,” she laughed, accepting the roasting stick Mikhail passed to her over the fire.

Logan cleared his throat. “At risk of dampening the festivities,” he started, “I’d like to get some more specifics from you all about the curse on this island.”

Jorryn’s expression darkened, his fingers twitching.

Daveigh and Mikhail both looked at Eudora. She reddened a bit, looking… awkward almost. “I’ve told you everything I know. What more is there to say? We’re stuck here forever and we’ll never die.”

“If Ursula dies, will the curse break?” he asks.

Eudora snorted. “That is impossible.”

“Will it break?” Logan repeated, firmer.

“Yes, I suppose. If she were to somehow die despite her immortality.”

Logan leaned forward, steepling his fingers. “As of right now, I have very good reason to believe the last heir to the Witch Queen’s Inheritance is working to solve this very problem,” he said and everyone stared at him as if he’d gone completely insane, but he continued before anyone could interrupt him. “Regardless, if the curse breaks, we have no guarantee we will be returned to where we came from. We’d simply be in danger of dying on the island, no one knowing our location, yes?”

“And the one person with the power to transport us out of here would be dead,” Jorryn muttered.

Daveigh raised a finger. “Well, if this heir was powerful enough to kill her, maybe he could do it?”

Eudora didn’t look as optimistic. “Even if the heir learned to Displace—assuming he was powerful enough in the first place, it would take several years of training regardless—Ursula is the only person who knows the exact location of the island. A witch cannot displace themselves or anyone else somewhere they cannot picture exactly in their minds.”

Logan perked up. “You’ve studied displacement, then?”

“In all but practice,” she admitted. “A single witch with enough raw power to displace themselves, let alone a group of people, is a rare breed. Even if I did have the power necessary, I’ve been away from the Witchlands for so long, I don’t know if I’d trust myself to remember the location properly. It would be extremely dangerous.”

“Very well,” he said. “Thank you.”

Mikhail passed around more food, and the mood gradually lightened once more, Daveigh prodding Mikhail into telling a story of his own—though quite less animated.

Patton watched as Logan sat back, staring at the fire. He could practically see his mind working the problem like those ring puzzles Logan always had sitting on his desk back home, turning it over and over, looking at it from all its angles for the solution.

Patton smiled and popped another piece of sugary-sweet mango into his mouth.

* * * * * * * * * *

Patton lay on the new sleeping mat Mikhail had made for him, staring up at the ceiling, Logan and Daveigh asleep beside him. Daveigh slept almost as silently as Patton did, and he only knew she was still breathing due to the slow rise and fall of her chest. She occasionally shifted around, though. Logan slept on his stomach, a mass of tangled limbs and even messier hair. For someone so organized, Patton wouldn’t have thought he’d sleep so disheveled.

It was adorable, really.

Patton was certain Logan hadn’t forgotten what he’d said about trying to contact Roman and Virgil tonight. Rather, tonight was the first night in a while that, despite their predicament, it seemed as if everything would be okay in the end. The sheer relief of actually enjoying themselves for the first time in several days was exhausting in of itself. Patton couldn’t blame him for falling asleep seconds after laying down.

Patton closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He knew what he’d likely see when he projected—especially so far away—but he couldn’t afford to be nervous. As he’d quickly learned during his training, the emotions he felt would directly influence his mindscape, and therefore his experience while projecting.

He just had to stay calm.

Patton pictured the house in Wakeby, letting the small, rhythmic breaths puffing from Logan’s nose lull him into the meditative state. Patton felt his body suddenly weighed down, and he jerked up.

He was still in the hut. Patton looked down at his semi-translucent hands in frustration. He hadn’t officially projected to somewhere else—on purpose, at least. Still, it seemed ridiculous that he could astral project through time on accident, but when he finally wanted his freak powers to work they were stubbornly weak.

No, I can do this, Patton thought firmly, pulling himself back into his body. He opened his physical eyes, set his jaw, then closed them again.

The next four tries all ended the same: Patton sitting up in the hut, still overlapping his own body. He returned to his body and sat up for real, cradling his head in his hands and sighing. Why couldn’t he get this?

Patton glanced at Logan’s sleeping form. Waking him up at this point didn’t sound like a good idea. He’d risk alerting Daveigh as well, and there was no way she’d condone any of this. He just had to think about it like Logan would. On the surface, it seemed as if nothing had triggered the projection into the past. All he’d done was stand up and walk around the fire to take Mikhail’s knife from him. He was lucky he hadn’t passed out on his way to find Logan. He could have stabbed himself. But it didn’t make any sense for something that astounding to happen for no reason. Patton just had to figure out why.

What would Logan do? he thought desperately. Well, he’d probably have Patton walk through the events leading up to the projection. Patton thought back. Daveigh had been asking him about his family history—which he hadn’t been too forthcoming about, though not due to a lack of willingness. Mikhail noted that Logan was still gone, and Patton had asked if there were any predators on the island.

A few, Mikhail had said. The thought should have terrified Patton, but all he’d felt was an overwhelming urge to protect. Almost anger at the image of something hurting Logan. The darkness inside him ready to rip open the throat of anything daring to harm those he loved. Usually, thoughts like those would have troubled him, but at that moment, he’d accepted them. Used them as fuel. Channeled them.

Then Mikhail had offered him the knife, he’d stood to grab it, and then…

Patton rested his chin in his hands, tapping the point of his nose with a finger as he wracked his brain. He wouldn’t be surprised to see steam leaking out of his ears. He usually relied on the adrenaline of danger to help him make quick strategic decisions. Did Logan think like this all the time? Patton smiled to himself. That boy was truly amazing.

Shaking his head, Patton returned to his problem. The only significantly different thing that had happened was the surge of protectiveness. That had somehow had flung him several hundred years into the past… right to when Virgil was having a rough time.

Patton’s eyes narrowed and lips pressed together in a frustrated pout. He didn’t want to end up in the past again. Especially without someone like that nice witch to help him orient himself. Unfortunately, that was the only sort of lead he had. He hadn’t gone as far as integrating the person he’d grown up as into the personality he’d crafted for Dot, but after his conversation with Roman that night, Patton had learned to tolerate it. Maybe even accept it. As long as he focused on Roman and Virgil, he’d end up seeing one of them. Hopefully.

Nothing to do but try, I guess, Patton thought, laying back down. He set his jaw and proceeded to let his imagination run wild with all the horrible things that could be happening to Roman and Virgil. It was a particular kind of trick to both rile himself up and stay in enough control to still project. The darkness inside him unfurled almost hesitantly, as if it didn’t trust Patton’s deliberate goading.

Slowly, it filled him. How dare someone hurt his friends. He’d kill them. Tear them limb from limb.

A sudden dizzy weightlessness took hold of him, and it took all of Patton’s willpower not to freak out and inadvertently pull himself back into his body. A second later, he blinked, finding himself standing in their living room. Whispers of memories immediately bombarded his ears.

Patton. Patton! Patton… dozens of voices screamed, cried, growled, whispered, laughed. He recognized them all. Patton plugged his ears, but it didn’t make a difference. It’s okay, he assured himself, taking a breath. Just stay calm. They aren’t real. He had to stay focused. He could still feel his body lying on its mat back on the island, the gentle breeze across his skin. He’d be alright.

“Roman? Virgil?” he called. Nothing. Would they be able to hear him in this state? Patton couldn’t be sure, so he rushed upstairs—running wasn’t much different as a projection, though it was a little odd when his feet didn’t sink into the carpet at all. Checking both their rooms, Patton found himself alone in the house. Roman’s truck was in the driveway.

They’re probably just out of the house, he thought halfheartedly, standing alone in the upstairs hallway. Last he and Logan had seen, they’d been facing off against an angry immortal witch. Patton shook his head. They weren’t dead. He wouldn’t accept it. He’d just have to leave them a note for when they got back. Daveigh had explained how they couldn’t interact with most physical objects while in the astral plane. Patton would just have to figure something out in that case—

A towering figure blocked the stairs, so tall he had to bow his head. Patton froze, feeling as if his heart was squeezed to stillness inside him. The hallway light wasn’t on, so he couldn’t make out the man’s face, but he didn't have to. The figure had a bottle held loosely in his hands, a stained wife-beater hanging from his shoulders and stretching over his beer belly. The smell forced its way up Patton’s nose, choking him. Still, it wasn’t a perfect memory of the man. The figure’s arms were gangly and inhumanly long, and his neck looked disjointed, bent as it was against the ceiling.

The whispers swelled in a frantic crescendo. Patton felt his limbs going numb as his body began to pull him back.

No, he thought hopelessly, squeezing his eyes shut. I have to leave a note. I have to let them know we’re okay. He isn’t real. He can’t hurt me. Even in his head, he sounded breathless and pathetic, and he knew he didn’t believe himself.

The man grunted, as if annoyed by the cramped hall and took a lumbering step toward Patton. The house around him flickered, almost glitching and giving way to empty, nightmarish darkness. Seatbelts sprouted from the ground and began winding around his wrists and ankles. He could feel them. Patton, at last, let out a scream as the man charged, lifting his bottle like a club.

Patton’s vision of the Wakeby house flickered, and he felt suddenly dizzy. He was getting pulled out and into a nightmare.

“No,” he growled, that same feral protectiveness sputtering to life inside him. Patton's mind felt as if it were being torn in half, but he suffered through it, forcing himself to stay aware. In the back of his mind he could feel his physical body trembling and gasping, responding to the fear without knowing where it was coming from.

Just as the man was about to bash him over the head, Patton relaxed his arms and managed to wriggle free from the seatbelts. He dove past the man’s feet as he took a clumsy wing, falling over.

“C’mere, boy,” he groaned, writhing around as he tried to right himself in the too-small corridor. Patton raced down the stairs, heart picking out a frantic trot in his incorporeal chest. He came to the living room and kitchen, but his mind was blank. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t interact with anything. It wasn’t as if he could pluck a sticky-note from Logan’s desk and leave them a nice little note on the bathroom mirror.

“Get back here,” the man’s grating voice called, lumbering footsteps descending the stairs. Patton panicked, his mind lancing with pain as he resisted the pull back to his real body. He swayed as he rushed to the cellar door—somewhere to hide. The pain got so bad he couldn’t see straight.

Something ground beneath his shoe as he instinctually grabbed for the door handle despite his hand passing through, and he spared a second to glance down. He’d stepped in the leftover rosemary powder from when Virgil had sealed Remus in the cellar.

And he’d left a footprint.

Thinking as quickly as his pain-addled mind could, Patton dropped to his knees and spread the half-burned powder across the floor in a thin sheet with his hand.

“Don’t you run away from me,” the figure said, coming to the bottom of the stairs. Patton didn’t look up, quickly scrawling “We are OK” in the powder with a hasty P&L beneath it.

He finished the tail of the L right as the man reached him, grabbing him and lifting him into the air with too-long fingers clamped around his neck. The sight of the man’s face was what finally did it. Grubby and scratchy, the feeling of fingers around his throat.

Patton’s mind finally broke.

* * * * * * * * * *

Logan woke to Patton’s screams. He jerked awake, Daveigh’s confused mumbling behind him. Patton shot straight up to a seat, gasping for breath and dry heaving.

Logan rose to his knees. “Patton? What’s wrong?”

“I’m slipping. I’m…” he said gasped, sitting back against the wall of the hut. He met Logan’s eyes with considerable effort, a wan smile flickering across his pale face. “I did it. I told them.”

“What’s going on?” Daveigh asked.

Logan’s heart skipped a beat. How could he have forgotten? Patton had said he was going to try contacting Roman and Virgil tonight, and Logan had fallen asleep instead.

Mikhail was at their door in an instant. “What’s wrong?”

“Da… Daveigh,” Patton managed, voice sluggish like he was sedated. “I’m slipping. S…. sorr….” the rest of the word ended in a long breath and Patton seemed to wind down like a toy, eyes glazing over.

Daveigh sat up, taking everything in for a moment before sighing. “He did it, didn’t he. Contacting your friends?”

“I believe so,” Logan said. “What does he mean he’s slipping?”

“He’s dissociating,” she said, crawling forward and placing a gentle hand against Patton’s temple. “Quite extensively from the looks of it. He must have really gone past his limit. Everything’s fine, Mikhail. You can go back to bed.”

He gave a nod and a concerned glance Patton’s way before retreating back into the darkness.

Logan worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Is he going to be okay?”

“He’ll be fine after a few hours,” she said. “Patton? Do you want to lay down? You’ll get sore sitting up all night.”

Patton’s index finger twitched and a breathy, strangled hum limped out of him. Not much Logan could decipher there.

“Patton, could you blink for me? Once for yes, twice for no?” he offered gently.

Patton blinked once, slowly. Yes.

“Would you like us to lay you down?”

Another affirmative. Daveigh helped him situate Patton back onto his sleeping mat, the hut creaking beneath them.

“There isn’t much more we can do until he recovers,” she said, yawning. “Be ready for a lecture in the morning, kid.” With that said, Daveigh returned to her own mat and promptly fell back asleep.

Logan knelt at Patton’s side for a while longer, feeling helpless. He pulled his mat a few inches closer to Patton’s and lay on his side, watching him. Patton stared at the ceiling, expressionless, and yet his eyes were pooling with tears. One slipped free and cascaded down the side of his head and into his hair. Instinctively, Logan reached out and wiped it away with a knuckle. Patton closed his eyes, squeezing out more tears and leaning almost imperceptibly into the touch.

“I’m sorry this happened, Patton,” Logan whispered. “I shouldn’t have fallen asleep.”

Another soft note from Patton’s throat, his eyes still closed. Logan could interpret the meaning well enough on his own. He hesitated for a split second and then said, “Please blink twice if you want me to stop.” Patton opened his eyes, still unfocused, but perhaps a bit confused. Logan held his breath as he carded his fingers through Patton’s curls. They were slightly tangled and Logan could feel sand and dirt throughout, but they were still so soft.

Patton’s eyes fluttered shut, a relieved little sigh leaking out of him. In a fit of lucidity, Patton rolled over onto his side, curling in on himself. Logan froze, holding his breath. Patton was so close, now. He could feel his breath against his shirt. Slowly, he relaxed again, running his fingers through Patton’s hair until they both fell asleep.

[jankyunsolved]

Title: Find Balance [in your life] Summary: Who knew Steven Lim could inspire Ryan to go home to his two favorite people?

Or: Ryan Bergara works too hard and neglects what’s important, but his partners welcome him home anyway.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983251

Sara 💓: The bed is cold without you.

Ryan glanced at his phone and did a double take when he saw it was a text from his group chat with Shane and Sara. He picked up his phone with shaking hands, the coffee he just finished still rushing through his veins, and opened the text.

When was the last time he saw Sara? Shane, he saw almost every day, but Sara? He hadn’t slept at their place since they announced the launch of Watcher, and that was weeks ago. He slept at his much closer house, or as of late, on the floor of the office for cat naps.

He’d been working nonstop on getting videos edited, checking Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, and Twitter, meeting with sponsors and completing paperwork; creating their own channel was a never ending job.

Shane’s been working from home for almost a week and a half due to a minor disagreement between them (first big fight since he began dating Shane and Sara, and Ryan couldn’t even remember what it was about, so he tripled his workload instead of dealing with it) and Steven left for the night a few minutes ago, so Ryan was alone, frantically working on edits and posts that could probably wait until Monday.

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard, hesitating. It was already 9:53, and if he could just finish this final edit, he might be able to leave and sleep in his own bed by 1:00AM before coming back to the office bright and early on a Saturday to try and get ahead. “Sorry,” he started to type. “Work calls.” He almost hit send when he got a notification that Steven posted a video on Instagram.

He watched the video. It was Steven in that very office, and Ryan must’ve been making coffee when he made it, because his workstation was dark and empty.

It was just Steven, sitting in a chair in an empty room, talking. But what he had to say was more inspirational than Ryan was expecting. Taking care of yourself, fostering your relationships, finding hobbies, leaving work when the temptation is there to keep working.

Ryan felt like he couldn’t breathe, one phrase echoing inside his head: “My identity doesn’t only live in my work.” He looked around his small space, at his open laptop and desktop, at the lack of pictures, doodles, little knick knacks that would usually surround him as he worked. Plain white. And he knew that they were moving to an even bigger office soon, but that didn’t stop Steven or Shane from decorating their small space.

He pushed himself away from his desk, ducking his head between his knees. Anxiety rippled through his body. How much has Watcher taken over my life?

After breathing and waiting for the wave of nausea to leave, he opened his texts and flinched at what he almost texted Sara. “God, what a fucking fool,” he whispered as he erased what he typed and simply wrote, “I’m coming home.” He hoped that not only would Sara welcome him this late, but that whatever happened between him and Shane could be squashed as well. “Wishful thinking,” Ryan said, pulling himself back to his desk. “I don’t even know what we fought about.”

He saved what he was working on, turned off all the tech in the small office that they were temporarily occupying, and glanced at the board. 80,000 subscribers. 20,000 away from the goal their sponsors were expecting to be met by January 10th. How to get 20,000 over a holiday…

“Stop,” Ryan said out loud. “Business can wait until Monday. Sara is waiting for you, and maybe Shane too.”

He put on his backpack, turned off the lights, and made his way to the elevator, waving to the security guard who was stationed on the floor. With laser focus, Ryan pressed the down button, got on the elevator, and went to the parking garage beneath the building.

Keys in hand, Ryan ran to his car. The quicker he got in his car, the less likely he was gonna turn around and go back to work. He blasted music in his car, a mix of local LA rappers and the metal of his youth, to make sure he stayed awake, and then he made his way to Shane and Sara’s apartment.

Traffic was terrible, as always, and he made it to their apartment a little after eleven. He parked his car in the last available parking spot and then grabbed his bag, hesitating for a moment. He looked at his phone and saw that Sara responded.

Sara 💓: I’ll reheat a snack for you.

He didn’t know what to say. How could he thank her when he was being the worst? He took a shuddering breath and opened his car door.

 It’s now or never.

He had keys to their apartment, so he didn’t waste time by knocking on the door. He just unlocked it and stepped inside, quietly closing and locking the door behind him. He slipped off his shoes and lined them up with the others that were in the entryway and dropped his bag by Sara’s.

There were few lights on in the apartment. The Christmas tree was lit up, and Ryan saw Obi curled up beneath it, watching him. The light was on in the kitchen, and Ryan went there first. Standing at the microwave was Sara, in an old t-shirt that she usually slept in. She turned and looked at Ryan, and the genuine smile that graced her mouth brought tears to his eyes.

“Hey,” she said softly, as if she could see and feel his fragility. “We had Chinese and we got all your favorites, which you can eat tomorrow.” Just before the microwave beeped, Sara turned and opened it, taking out two egg rolls on a small plate.

Ryan beamed and stepped fully into the kitchen, reached for Sara and kissed her forehead. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They stood in silence, Sara leaning into Ryan as he devoured the eggrolls, his hands shaking as he consumed something that wasn’t a granola bar or coffee. She had her arm wrapped around his waist and her head resting on his shoulder.

When he was finished, she took the plate from him and washed it and Ryan dried it before putting it back in its place. Then he finally looked at Sara again and blew out a heavy breath. “Shane?” he asked, not sure what he was asking, not sure what he was wanting to know.

“Downstairs, getting some sheets from the dryer.” She pressed a kiss to his shoulder and looked up at him. “You look exhausted.”

“I am exhausted.”

“Bed?”

Ryan shrugged. “I just had coffee and I need to shower and my mind is just running running running—“ Ryan froze when Sara interrupted him with a kiss, sensing he was on his way to a rambling frenzy.

“Shower. Sleepy Time Tea. Bed. I already set out clothes for you in the bathroom.”

“Oh Sara,” he kissed her softly and she sighed against his mouth. “What did I do to deserve you?”

-----

Ryan turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain just as there was a knock on the unlocked door. “Yeah?” It opened slowly, and there was Shane with a towel folded over his arm.

“Hey,” he said softly, and Ryan smiled, stepped out of the tub and onto the mat.

“Hey.” He reached for the towel that Shane had, but paused when Shane closed the distance, unfolded it, and began gently drying him off with the still warm towel. He must’ve dried it with the sheets. Ryan’s mouth dropped open in surprise, but he found he couldn’t even say anything.

Reverently, Shane made sure that Ryan was dry, starting at his head and moving down, even kneeling at his feet to dry his legs. Once again, Ryan felt fragile, as if his very core was made of glass. He looked down at Shane, his vision swimming in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped, needing to apologize, needing to say something, “I’m sorry I’ve been so impatient and stressed and I took it out on you.”

Knelt at his feet, Shane looked up at him, and Ryan’s knees trembled as Shane opened his mouth and paused, before saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t try and talk to you sooner.” Shane then pressed his forehead against his hip for a moment, hugging his legs. Ryan shook harder as he ran his fingers through Shane’s hair.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, Ryan trying to stay upright, and Shane holding him. A few tears finally escaped his eyes and he swallowed thickly; Shane just squeezed him tighter. Ryan was thankful Shane didn’t try and talk him through this, giving him a few moments of peace that he didn’t even know he desperately needed.

When Ryan finally stopped sniffling, Shane kissed his hip and pulled away. “Sara made some tea.” His thumbs rubbed soothingly as Ryan still trembled.

“Okay.”

“You think you can drink it?”

“I—I don’t—I don’t know.”

“Let’s try.”

Shane stood up, groaning as his knees popped, but he just smiled and shrugged at Ryan, as if to say, “What can ya do?” He hung the towel up and went to the still open door, pausing as Ryan slipped on pajama pants and a t-shirt. They linked fingers and Ryan followed him to the couch where Sara was nestled in the corner with her own cup, and another one was on the coffee table. Obi had moved from the tree to nestle in Sara’s lap.

Ryan sat down next to Sara, easing himself until he was pressed against her side. Sara cradled her cup in one hand and took Ryan’s in her other. Shane draped a blanket over his lap, and then handed him his tea.

Ryan sipped at the perfect blend of chamomile and vanilla as Shane fiddled with the remotes until a roaring fire appeared on the TV. Ryan grinned; Shane and Sara went absolutely wild for this kind of stuff. When the fire was on, Shane finally settled on the couch, sitting on Ryan’s other side and resting his arm behind him.

Halfway through his tea, as Obi went from Sara’s lap to his and was making biscuits on his stomach, Ryan’s eyes began to close and his head rocked forward.

“Let’s get you to bed, Little Guy,” Shane said softly, collecting his mug. Sara picked up Obi and Ryan stretched and stood up, folding the blanket and leaving it on the couch. Sara took his hand and led him to the bedroom, where it was nice and cool. Obi jumped from Sara’s arm and made his way to his little cat bed in the corner.

“Wanna be in the middle?”

“God, yes,” he said, around another yawn. He crawled onto the bed and Sara pulled the blanket up and over him before getting in on her side and snuggling up to him. The sheets and blanket still held some warmth from the dryer, and Ryan burrowed deeper into the bed, making himself comfortable. He could hear Shane moving around the apartment, turning off lights, the TV, and double checking the door.

Ryan shivered when Sara slipped her hand into his hair and began massaging his scalp. “Ooooh fuuuuuuck,” he swore, his entire body going limp as she giggled. He didn’t even notice Shane coming into the room until he felt warmth at his back and an arm on his waist.

His eyes slid shut and he felt Shane lean over him and kiss Sara, whispering, “Goodnight, babe.” Then he felt Shane’s lips on his own cheek. “Goodnight, Ry-babe.”

Ryan tried to say goodnight, and he must’ve said something because he could hear Sara giggle and he felt Shane’s huff of breath against his cheek, but he was already falling fast asleep, nestled between his two favorite people

[ralfstrashcan]

3x13 Reaction / Commentary

Yeah I'm aware, stop judging X___X

I feel the need to point this out. Apparently it's common practice for the Praetor to just, kill off their more troublesome charges. Interesting. But Jordan has a different work ethic which is a) apparently not usual for praetors and b) something at least Nick attributes to his past and not, idk, common decency. Just how savage is the Praetor exactly?? (Also let me add this to the list of things why 3x15 makes no sense at all.)

Okay, so they found another mundane dead by Heidi's hand...... why exactly don't they call the Shadowhunters? Aren't they obliged to? I mean?

True, but it sure as hell is her responsibility how she handles them. But we established already that she has a serious perception problem and always sees herself as the victim.

I mean, prime example, if she could have made that smooth exit through the vent where the werewolves couldn't follow, why didn't she just do that from the start instead of attacking Nick? Because she wants to cause trouble and not just “live her life in peace” as she's pretending to.

More like, he didn't have the guts to face Alec like that. Also does that mean he draped Izzy on the couch like that in that cliché sleeping pose with one hand under the head? At least he took off her boots like a sane person.

“I'm just drained.”

Haha it seems Alec isn't the only Lightwood sibling with a shitty sense of humor.

“I don't have the same preexisting condition.” “You mean my addiction?”

No, Izzy, he obviously means your fashion sense, keep up. Seriously, who wrote that stupid ass line of dialogue.

I found it pretty hilarious that Simon, Clary's literally oldest and bestest friend since kindergarten, feels the need to apologize to Izzy for taking up so much time with his Clary-reunion and blocking the path for her. The Clizzy Energy is Strong.

“Hmmmm hot hot hot Clary, please show me more.”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY HAHAHAHA PERFECT

Also, Morningstar.... didn't Val name his dumbass tanker ship in S1/S2 Morningstar? Guy really has it with name repetitions, first Jonathan 1 and 2, now Morningstar Ship and Morningstar Sword... I bet he named all his stuffed teddys Mr Snuffels 1, Mr Snuffels 2, Mr Snuffels 3.....

The way he delivers this line me might've as well said “Please cut out the emotional disgusting bullshit my skin is crawling already from this I can't take any more mushiness PLEASE GO AWAY.” Gotta love Alec.

MAGNUS RAGE PUNCHING THE KEYBOARD IS THE MOST RELATABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Magnus opening up about missing his magic MY HEART OH MY GOD

(Sidenote though: No wonder he got frustrated with the pretentious Shadowhunter Technology, I mean, look at it. There are only runes. Runes may be called runes, but they don't actually make up an alphabet. Why the heck is there a flexibility rune on the screen? It makes no sense.)

This whole scene (and Izzy's lipstick lol) is absolutely perfect. I love everything about it, especially Magnus and especially Izzy. I'd be really surprised if Magnus didn't find a way to get her that weird root thingy anyway, because he surely doesn't buy the “feeling a lot better now” line.

(Edit: Now thinking about it I realized two things, a) she probably didn't take him up on his offer to go to another warlock because she felt like that was unnecessarily rubbing in that he can't do it himself anymore* and b) with that line she probably meant she feels lighter already for sharing what happened and just <3<3<3<3<3)

*The only think that would have made this scene more perfect is if Izzy hadn't skimmed over his magic comment without acknowledging it in any way. Though with this thought in mind, that she rejected his offer to spare his feelings, I find myself placated.

Also I love how Magnus pretends he's going to look for pen and paper when really he's running straight to Alec to tell him all about this (and to prevent a repetition of 2x09 form happening.... and now I made myself sad again).

#effortless (Also reminds me of that post about fire message mechanics that I still owe a certain someone. Where is the time.)

HAHAHAHA

???????????? How do they know that? More importantly, does Alec know? Will he hear through the Shadow World grapevine??? So many questions.

I mean, I have sympathy for her. But like, she's too smart for me to buy that she genuinely can't see any other course of action. She just does this because it's the least effort for her, not because she's truly clueless what alternatives are there for here (aka not running around, killing mundanes, starting a fight with everyone). She just thrives on chaos.

Also “Wolves don't just attack without cause. Not in New York” ? Seems like all Institute except the NY one do a shit job since supposedly keeping peace between the Downworld factions is part of their responsibility. Yes, I am still salty about 3x15. (Also, if anyone's confused by this weird foreshadowing, I wrote notes for this reaction post while watching 3x13 when it first aired, but only got to finish it now after 3x19 aired and I can't keep my chronology-screwing bitterness to myself while finishing up the post. But mostly these are my thoughts from then.)

Yeah something tells me she's not gonna be totally uninvolved in that.

This and the fact that Russel wants to stop Bat from even leaving the Jade Wolf are the final proofs that all the werewolves actually live at the Jade Wolf and pile up in a giant snuggle pile in the kitchen at night. This is further cemented by the fact that Luke and Maia claim to have flats of their own but we never actually see them. Clearly they're both dirty liars that just wanted to mislead.

*late Jocelyn's late friend Eliot #rude #whatever

.......why the hell would Elias code that shit in Circle short hand? So other Circle members, who Jocelyn was hiding from, could easily open that super important safe? So smart! Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Luke in the Circle as well? Shouldn't he be able to read that, too?

1) Eliot is such a loser and a showoff for ostentatiously writing that J in Jocelyn 2) His hint is seriously “Don't open with brute force.” Wtf kind of hint is that man are you even real.

I'm sorry, okay, but everytime I see / hear Bellicosi I think Maxi-Cosi XD

*glares at 3x15* Will I ever tire of raging about that episode? Unlikely.

Why.....? Since he didn't have any problem 100% blaming Raphael for everything Heidi did (not unjustified, but I'm just saying he's suddenly changed his mind). I mean, if he'd said she's dangerous to him and his family that would've been another matter.

These are all runes that I don't remember seeing on the Shadowhunters' Wiki Rune Page. Please tell me more.

Jace: “Clary, you've been going nonstop since you came back. You need to take a minute.”

lol if only Jace would implement the same advice himself.

“Wow I suddeny remember I had a life before I was 10.”

German Dubbing: Yeah, the ones Consul Penhallow categorically ignored. Honestly. Who dubbs this shit. Wtf.

Listen I love everything about this scene. (Fun Fact: In the German Dubbing she says vampire addiction, not venom addiction lol as if she was addicted to vampires XD)

Alec Lightwood, best brother of the year. Btw he's been holding that title since birth. I also don't think Alec would ever judge Izzy for her addiction / look at her as if she's weak, so the fact that she thinks that says a lot about how the addiction affected her self-image.

Too bad Alec forgets this for the next few episodes and acts like a total tool in that Clave Investigation Thing, smh.

Good to know.

Haha that was witty.

Oooooh why don't they ask another warlock then? For example one who's actually always the smartest person in the room?? Who's also willing to work on this??? Just a thought tho, don't let me interrupt the Maruke Bonding. No, you know what? I hate the shipname Maruke, it's shit, so I'm calling it Luryse as it should have been called. Then again, when am I even gonna talk about that pairing? We shall see.

“Outrageous, just because people around me keep turning up dead! It's ridiculous, really, that they'd think I could have something to do with that. It's as if they're not aware this is a TV show and supporting characters die because *Moriarty Voice* THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO!”

“That what the kids call it these days when they get kicked out on their ass?” She literally says “From one exiled to another” so she clearly realized he's full of shit.

“And that's why in two episodes Imma get myself arrested by behaving like a dumbass and then chill in prison as if it's my greatest accomplishment.” Honestly Luke, so many No-s. I can't even.

“Wow I can't believe I have to see this Luryse bs up close.” Hah, now I used the right shipname and can move the f on from bashing that pairing. Sorry about that. I'm sleep deprived. That always makes me extra salty.

“When you're alpha you need to make the pack your first priority. Your personal life needs to take a back seat. And mine never did.” I applaud Luke for admitting he was a shit alpha because he didn't proritize the pack. Hindsight is 20/20.

Wow Luke so helpful <3<3<3 Just like I know and love you.

I also love how nobody questions that Heidi bit that mundane and then chilledly made a phone call at the scene of her Accords-violating crime. How frakking convenient.

But their runes aren't on the same side. Sloppy work. Also, if the illustrator obviouly takes artistic liberties, then the rune missing on the second pic doesn't have to mean anything. Maybe they just forgot to draw it. Then again this isn't even the most flimsy conclusion-making I've wittnessed on this show so I'll let it slide.

lol Jace and Jonathan are basically playing tug of war with Clary: Jonathan burning himself, Jace activating her healing rune XD

Ooooh brainless S1 Clary, how I have not missed you. Srsly now? Carve it out? That didn't work for Simon so why should it now? lol she should ask the seelie queen if she has some handy floor mosaic thingy in her courtyard to help with that.

In his defense, he moved.

It's not gonna work is what it is. Srsly how dumb are they? Why the hell does she think something so powerful can just be carved out?? Wtf.

Woooow they're using a rune removing device, color me impressed. I really thought they'd just put a scalpel to it. So, at least points for trying.

Uuuuh get some morphin, try again. I mean. But anyway.

*break up

......didn't she just break up with him because pack reasons? Where is that not a Shadow World Reason? Please explain. (Also choosing an unflattering screen cap of Simon because he annoys me? Absolutely. I am petty like that.) The easy way Simon accepts their break up really makes me wonder. If Maia hadn't said anything, would he have broken up with her? Since apparently things “changed” and they could “both” “feel” it. Honestly. He literally calls her his girlfriend at the start of the scene as if to draw attention to how ridiculous this is.

You know what, I don't even have the energy to rage about this. Their relationship was so great, they were so supportive of each other, they had great chemistry, great communication, they always stood by each other. And just because Sizzy has to be endgame there were suddenly weird-ass tension between them for no real reason – none that 3A Saia wouldn't have worked through like pros anyway – just so this break up wouldn't come out of absolutely nowhere. It's shit treatment of both their characters and their relationship and I'm just so exasperated with it all. (Also not the way to endear me to Sizzy. But at this point I feel like a broken record.)

Discount? It was free. Which I'm still finding super hard to believe by the way, that a werewolf establishment would just give out free food to vampires who don't even work there. But what do I know, right, I mean it's not like they just mentioned a few minutes ago how werewolves and vampires hate each other? Right?? Hahaha.

Wow. This actually takes the time to highlight that this break up wasn't as amicable as Simon thought. Maybe he thought that they were breaking up for human reasons, but Maia clearly feels she threw her relationship away for the pack and it's hard for her. And Simon's tirade wasn't really encouraging her to let him know that. I really appreciate that detail.

Other things I want to say: 1) I didn't like that Maia just flat out broke up with him. She should have informed him that she was going to step up for the pack and would have to prioritize that over their relationship and then leave it up to him if he wants to put up with that or not. By breaking up she made the choice for him. Her course of action is ic, I'm not critizising that, but from like, a personal stand point I don't like it. 2) Foreshadowing: Since her whole pack gets slaughtered, if that would have been the only reason to break up with Simon she coulda just gotten back together with him lol. Haha sorry I'm trash. I know.

Wow he's really dumb. He knows Heidi's brand of crazy and still he doesn't realize this was a trap. He said himself that Heidi must have done something for the Preator to be after her, and when the Praetor tells him she's been leaving copses left and right he...... takes this as his cue to ally himself with Heidi??? Wtf?????? Does he not believe what Jordan said? Again, he suspected something like that himself and since the Praetor are playing at being the Downworlder Police they wouldn't just make something like that up with no proof. The heck. I don't get you, Boss Vampire Guy.

Also, thumbs down for the Praetor, if they'd just told them their source was Heidi herself (on the phone) this could have been prevented. But, ugh. With how things are I can at least kinda buy that no working communication between vampire clan and Praetor exists.

Still, if the Praetor wants to be accepted as some kind of Shadow World Institution they should really work on their manners.

.................................................

I I don-- I can't. *sigh* I can't believe I just had to watch this with my own two eyes. Have they not been trained for a case like this? A fellow shadowhunter injured in the field? That activating the healing rune should be the first thing you do? Before lovingly prying information from the dying person?? I mean, if that's not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is. Sure, he needs to give them a snippet of info, but not too much. But please, please, couldn't writers have found a way for this that didn't make them look like the stupidest of idiots in the entire frikkin world?! Wtf. WTF. I can't believe it.

Uuuuuuh how did she know how to turn those things if all she had to work with was Don't use brute force?? Do I have to understand that?

“You brought coffee, after all.”

Look she's so ashamed she even turned away from the screen haha. Also it's so refreshing to see grown ass people approach a relationship like idiotic teens. (Yeah, that was sarcastic.)

“And right now I wanna do you.” Hahahaha sorry, too good to pass up, you can bet your ass imma turn this into a dumb comic XD

“I love you, Clary. And I'll love you until I die. And if there's a life after this I'll love you then, too.”

Okay, I wanted to roll my eyes at their love confession, but what Jace said was actually really sweet <3

Alec: All our people were accounted for at the time of the murder. Izzy: We think it was a Clave hit.

Oh couldn't have been one of the millions of Shadowhunters from another Institute? No, I'm sure Alec checked that on their neat little Shadowhunter Intranet, that all other Shadowhunters all over the workd were accounted for as well. Honestly.

Also, Maryse says “By the angel,” but in the German Dubbing she says “What the angel” which makes it seem as if Shadowhunters curse by replacing dirty words with “angel” and just... what the angel XD

Why the hell are they all so obsessed with Latin? Ugh. Exhausting hobby.

Btw lol, please rewatch that scene, the background music is weirdly reminiscent of the Stranger Things Theme hahahaha. (Also omg I'm peeking into the German dubbing and it doesn't even make SENSE hahaha what the shit.)

LOL that's like the soulmate trope but in painful XD basically the creepy incest edition XD But honestly can we appreciate what a nice hand Jonathan has with a knife and with his left hand?? Prodigy.

This is it, the final proof that they actually all live at the Jade Wolf hahahha.

...................................? Why the f is she happy to see Jordan? Last time they saw each other she clearly stated she hated him?? Do I need to understand?? Oh right. In the books Maia and Jordan get back together. Right. Stupid, why am I even surprised by this??

Wtf isn't he the clan leader? Why the hell is he acting so submissively to Heidi all of a sudden? Literally half a day ago he threw her out of his clan, knowing his place. And now he's like a puppet on her strings. Wtf. But I guess that happens when you treat characters as plot devices. They get inconsistent even if they only have two scenes. *sigh*

Awwww would you look at that, werewolves and vampires fighting with fists like mundanes. (Okay some of them had like, daggers, but where are the fangs and the claws? Honestly.)

Okay I did her injustice in my trailer reaction since this is a vamp and a legitimate fight situation.

Wow that actually surprised me. But Jordan also dies in the books so, oops. Just didn't think they'd skip the getting together.

WOW that really surprised me. I thought Maia would challenge him and they'd have an epic fight to the death or something. (Also wtf Griffin guy, what's with that creeper face.)

To be honest I find it hard to believe that Maia acts like this. Scared out of her mind, yeah sure. But she acts helpless, and she's never been that. When she got that pipe thing I thought she'd use it as a stake. Using it to block the door is smart, too, but why didn't she get another to have a stake? Her whole posture, uselessly hangig over Jordan screams damsel in distress and I don't like it at all.

Edit: I had certain fears how this plotline would be developed in 3x14 which thankfully didn't come true, but my conflicted opinion on this ending scene remains.

Anyway let’s take a moment and appreciate Maia’s Killer Boots.

BTW watched the 3x14 trailer and just.... what. Why the f would Magnus ask Lorenzo of all people for help? He can't be trusted. As if he wouldn't use that opportunity to break Magnus even further! WTF! Where's Catarina? Oh, let me guess, another Drunk Doctor Conference *epic eyeroll*