#i wrote this in a daze so sorry if some of it dont make any sense 😭

[luvfy0dor]

"You Are In Love!!" - BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Fyodor Dostoevsky, Chuuya Nakahara ♡

Warnings; none pure fluff and sweetness

Description; Drabbles (I actively attempted to make these shorter than the timeless ones but I clearly have a yapping issue) of Chuuya and Fyodor based off of You Are in Love by Taylor Swift in honor of 1989 (Taylor's Version) today. This one had a lot of cute little prompts for small scenarios so I thought I'd take the opportunity.

A/n; yawning is contagious you guys I proved it because I wrote about yawning and then I yawned, also I have so many 1989 TV thoughts now so im gonna write them while writing asks at the same time, so im sorry for those of you guys who dont like Taylor, that's totally valid. Hmu w/ music themed requests if you wanna see a different song.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ੈ♡

“Coffee at midnight”

You sat on your boyfriends lap, facing him while he typed away, working on God knows what. You didn't ask what it was at that very moment, too sleepy care. You breathed in his scent, your arms tightly hugged around his torso. Any time he took a break from typing, his left hand immediately went to stroke your back, his lips moving and ghosts of whispers slip out from between them as he read over the text. You nuzzled into his neck, pressing sweet, chaste kisses to his pale skin every now and again.

You were playing with his hair softly when you could hear him yawn. "My dear, do you mind getting up? I'm going to make some coffee for myself." He murmurs, his head turned a bit in your direction. You nod and get off of his lap, standing up and rubbing your eyes a bit. "Yeah, sure, but coffee? It's midnight.." now you were yawning. He nods, standing up and heading straight for the kitchen. You trail behind him, drowsily following along. Luckily, the lights of your kitchen were dimmed rather than being at full brightness. He stood against the counter, starting the coffee machine and grabbing a mug for himself while the drink started to brew.

"Do you want some too?" He asks, noticing your stare before you yourself even could. You shook your head, holding your upper arms for the warmth that Fyodors body had previously been providing to you. You yawned again, making him smile ever so slightly in amusement. You leaned against the counter with your eyes closed, almost starting to nod off. The two minutes it took to make the coffee passed within the blink of an eye, you being woken from your sleepy and dazed state by Fyodors thumb caressing your cheekbone.

"Moya Lyubov, you don't have to stay up with me. I appreciate it, but if you're tired you should sleep." He softly murmurs while looking into your eyes. "No, no, it's fine, don't worry." You say, standing straight up and walking with him back to his little work space. He sat right back down on the chair, opening his arms for you to crawl right back onto him. He sipped on his coffee, and the aroma made you regret your decision to reject a cup for yourself. You moved your head to rest on his shoulder sideways instead of upright so you could get a better look at him while he drank from the ceramic mug.

He glanced at you while he did so, sighing into the glass and handing it to you without even needing to hear anything from your mouth; he just knew you that well. Perhaps it was your predictably, or maybe it was his attentive habits regarding your body language and every expression. You took the mug, bringing it to your lips and drinking a small amount, making sure that you didn't chug it and leave nothing for him. You handed him back the glass, wiping your top lip off before you pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him smile a bit.

"So much for not wanting any, hm?" He teases quietly, leaning his head against yours. You just roll your eyes at him. "Well I changed my mind a little." You mumbled, your hands rubbing up and down his sides gently. Your eyelids felt as if they had weights attached to them as it became harder to keep yourself awake. Fyodor had taken notice of this numerous times, before getting coffee, while getting coffee, and even after you had taken a sip. If the caffeine had any effect on you it clearly was not immediate.

"That's alright, I don't mind sharing it with you." He says quietly. You hum in response as a thank you while you drifted off into a calming sleep. Fyodor noticed you fully knocked out after about a minute or two. He smiled and kissed the side of your head, whispering to you. "Goodnight, my love, sleep well."

Chuuya Nakahara ੈ♡

“You kiss on sidewalks”

You looked up at the stars in the night sky while you walked down the streets of Yokohama with Chuuya. Late night walks were never something you found enjoyment in before Chuuyas presence in your life. Not only did Chuuyas ability and profession absolutely make you feel safer, but he was someone to talk to while you walked. It wasn't silent, but filled with conversation about your day, passions, etc.

His hand was holding yours while he listened to you rambled on about a book you had started reading, explaining the plot to him. Chuuya wasn't an absent listener, he didn't just nod and "ohhh" every now and again, he actually asked questions about it and commented on the actions of characters and what not. Chuuya didn't ramble much, but when he did you offered the same undivided attention. You loved watching his eyes light up whenever he talked about something that excited him; he specifically got riled up about his missions, explaining what he did with as much detail as he was allowed to.

And that's what was happening. You walked along the path, holding your boyfriends hand while he told you about how he acquired a new small cut on his cheek. You asked him about it and he got so worked up, it was almost funny. The amount of slandering he put on the name of some random guy he had to fight was a little much, but it was his opponent and enemy, so you didn't comment on it. His other hand was moving around very quickly while he passionately told you about the encounter, annunciating every word and speaking clearly.

"He was so annoying. Obviously I dealt with him real fast, but now I've got this cut on my face." He says while rolling his eyes. You snicker a little. "Oh yeah, I totally get that. He sounds like he sucks, but I think the scar is kinda hot, to be honest." You laugh, standing in front of him and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He scoffs and places his hands on your arms. "Ofcourse you do, doll, you're...well, you're you." He says, rubbing your shoulders a bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows were furrowed as you stare him down. "I know you like the back of my hand, I knew you'd find somethin' like that attractive. It's like, your thing." He says, the street light you stood under casting a yellow glow overtop the two of you. The shadows that projected onto his skin because of the angle hid the blush on his face relatively well. "I pay attention to you, ya know.." he murmurs, making you grin and gently cup his face.

"Oh I know you pay attention to me; everytime you bring up some random small detail about me it makes my heart flutter." You say, looking down at his lips through the black veil of darkness on his face. "I'm glad I can make ya swoon, darlin'.." he mutters, both of you leaning into each other, your hands interlocked and giving each other soft squeezes as your lips gently collided with one another. You pulled away after a couple seconds, but you felt yourself pulled right back in as the two of you softly giggled with one another, his gloved hand pressed against the back of your neck.

Your lips moved against his, soft hums of approval coming from his throat. When you did finally part, the both of you looked into the other's eyes for a second before breaking the stare and grinning. "I love you a whole lot, y'know?" He says, sliding his arm around your waist. You did the same and nodded. "I know, I know. I love you a whole lot, too." You say, kissing his cheek while the two of you walk home to retreat for the night.

A/n; I have a couple of things to say; 1- this is not a theme switch, it's only blue and white for 1989 TV, 2- I know these aren't the most obviously related to the song, but I felt inspired. 3- I was gonna do more characters for this but I don't wanna in this moment, would y'all wanna see that?

[nonbinary-eddie-munson]

Steve hadn't meant to evesdrop on eddies new band. Really, he was an innocent party here.

Once things had calmed down in the aftermath of Vecna, Steve and Eddie had scrounged up every penny they could -steve even sold his precious beemer so they could have the extra cash- and got the hell out of dodge. Eddie couldn't stay in a town where everyone still looked at him like he was a murderer and Steve loved Eddie too much to keep him trapped in a town that hated him.

They had settled into chicago nicely, far enough away from the hellmouth that was hawkins, indiana that they werent constantly jumping at the sight of their own shadows, but still close enough they could be back in less than a day if shit started going down again.

The metal scene in chicago was just starting to take off, and Eddie quickly fell in with a local band that was in need of a new lead guitar. Steve had yet to meet any of Eddies new band members, his work and class schedules keeping him entirely too busy and exhausted for socializing. All of which led to this moment, Steve hovering awkwardly at the end of the hallway leading backstage as Eddies new bandmates tore him apart.

"Seriously how'd a guy as hard core as Ed end up with a preppy little asshole like that, i mean did you see what he was wearing?" The drummer scoffed

Self-consciously Steve worried at the hem of his black polo, he had stressed over his outfit all evening before they headed out to the venue. Eddie assured him that he looked great telling him he looked "like a sexy little gothed up jock" in his black polo, his tightest jeans and just the barest hint of eyeliner and mascara to make his eyes pop

"I know it must have been slim pickings back in butt fuck nowhere but Ed's got options now. Sure, the guy has a nice ass, but Ed could pull someone who's not gonna ruin our cred by dating a guy who looks like a narc" the bassist added on meanly.

Swallowing past the lump in his throat Steve turned to head back to the bar when Eddies voice stopped him in his tracks.

"People who disrespect my boyfriend dont get to talk about his ass" came Eddies sharp reply "Steve is more metal than all of you dumb fucks combined, and he's the inspiration behind all of the lyrics that are making us so big in the scene right now. If you cant fucking respect my boyfriend, you sure as hell dont deserve to get famous off the songs i wrote about him so im fucking out and im taking my songs with me."

"Ed you cant be fucking serious" the drummer started

"No, fuck you guys! You act all high and mighty but your just as fuckin shallow and small minded as the dumb hicks Steve and I left Indiana to get away from. Good luck finding someone to replace me and my songs before the fest next month" Eddie spat, his footsteps thundering against the concrete floor and around the corner into the hallway, coming up short as soon as he spotted Steve frozen in the hallway shocked at Eddies fierce defence of him.

"Oh sweetheart" Eddie crooned bringing a hand up to cup the side of Steves face his thumb gently swiping away the tears Steve hadnt even realized had begun to fall "I'm sorry you had to hear that baby. Lets go home" Eddie took his hand back from Steves face, wrapping it around his waist and tucking Steve firmly against his side ushering a still dazed Steve down the hall, out of the bar and into the cool night air

"Your didnt have to do that Eds" Steve said quietly, reluctantly pulling away from Eddie now that they were out in the open where anybody could see.

"Of course i did baby. You're the love of my life. You matter more to me than anything else in this world. More than my guitar and metal and dnd. And certainly more than some mouth breathers who wouldnt know what metal is if it got up on stage and took a bite out of a demon bat" Eddie replied with a grin and a wink swooping down to press a quick peck against Steves mouth as he stood in the middle of the sidewalk frozen in shock at Eddies declaration

"Im more important to you than music and dnd?" Steve asked in a quiet awed voice, his heart beating rapidly as if it was trying to physically escape his chest and burrow itself into the flesh of Eddies own ribcage.

"Sure are sweetheart, now why dont you get that sexy ass of yours moving so we can get home and I can show you just how much I mean it" Eddie replied, his voice lowering into a deep gravel that drove Steve crazy, hands reaching out to pull Steve forward a few steps urging him in the directon of the van parked furthur down the street.

Steve stumbled after Eddie, letting the other man lead him, his brain still not fully back online after Eddies bold decleration of love.

Steve didn't believe in any god, but he found himself thanking every god he could think of for bringing Eddie Munson into his life.

[cynthiesjmxazrielslover]

Bittersweet love

An original AUmodernAzriel x Reader

these songs remind me of them <3333

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mention of trauma Summary: Growing up with your abusive father and your mother who never spoke up against him, you had truly given up hope of any chance of a real relationship, of real love, the ones of the kind that you read about in your books, till you're proven wrong.

A/N: this is my first fic ever+english isnt my first language, and I wrote this in a daze, the idea came to me at like 3 AM, anddd it might be kinda inspired from it ends with us, even though i HATED that book, i liked the trope a twisted and molded to a healthier version but IM A SUCKER FOR ANGSTT and i cried while imagining this entire fic so....enjoy muah<3 Thump.....thump. DAMN IT CAROLINE GET OUT HERE! Another night another fight, that too on their anniversary, a classic. I scoff thinking about all the picture-perfect smiles and the absolutely lovely speech my dad had read out for my mom tonight, a show, it was all a show, no one knew what went inside our house every week, how my dad hit my mom, screamed at her and then bought ridiculously expensive gifts for her as if that would fix everything. I was so so tired of their useless fights, every time it all ended the same way, with my mom never leaving. I heard the rain outside before I saw it. One thing about me was that I always loved the rain, growing up, and till now it just felt right to cry under its cover, to cry with it, to admire how beautiful it felt to be enveloped in her comfort and just...let everything go. I sneaked out my window and walked out of our backyard. There was an abandoned house right behind mine, I spread rumors just so everyone thought, it was either haunted or inhabited, in truth it was my den. Snacks, clothes, comfy blankets, duvets, you name it. It had all I needed to feel better. When I entered my lair I noticed that most of my snacks were empty and the empty packets pristine clean. Oh no, someone had discovered the truth, I turned around only to find a pair of hazel eyes staring back at me, the darkness enveloped him, I couldn't see him, but guessed well enough he was taller than me. I cursed at myself for being stupid enough to enter an abandoned place at night in the middle of a heavy down pour. No, no, no, no. I stepped back I couldn't die like this, not in this shit hole. "Um, hello there. Are you okay? you just seem a little pale" I gaped at him. He had the most alluring voice id ever heard on a man and damn did it mess with my senses. "I won't hurt you, I promise. Look I'm not armed plus I dont even have enough energy to argue right now." He stepped a bit closer enough that I could make out his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. His hazel eyes were a sweet honey brown shade, tanned skin, muscles, tall as frick, and hot too. Holy crap this guy looked straight out of a book. "Hello?". Realizing I'd been gaping at it the whole time it took me second to remember the situation I'd found myself in before I said "Hi, Im Lana" I lied, my name wasnt lana but i wasnt gonna tell some random guy who ate my snacks AND all my blueberry sour candy my name, Im not that dumb. He steps out of the shadows so i could get a proper look at him, and so he could look at me i realize. "Hello Lana, Im Azriel". I looked at him, really looked at him noticed 3 things, 1. He didnt look much older than me, meaning either he was in school or in college, 2. He was wearing my oversized hoodie which looked a little too small on him, and 3. He looked in a bad shape. He had bruises on his face marring his body, burned hands, swollen eye and looked cold, very cold and malnourished. He looked almost......homeless.

I snuck a glance outside.

I silently swore, if this man- Azriel, stayed here any longer he would DIE, either of fever or due to infection. I might already have brought a one way ticket to the deepest darkest pits of hell but doesnt mean he did. Without a thought i spit out "Come to my house". "Im sorry what?" he chuckled out smirking at me as a flush crept over me. "I-I meant that you cant stay here, there's heavy rain and its cold here. pfft that's totally what i meant" i stammer out. Reminder to curl up and die in a corner later on. He furrows his brow at my statement, a hint of amusement on his face. "Haven't you heard of stranger danger Lana?" He pipes out, his voice low and gravelly. "I doubt an 18 year old guy who wears Minnie Mouse hoodies with dora the explorer socks and a pink bow pajamas would try to kidnap me" Okay now this dude was really crossing it for me. Reminder number 2- Drown these clothes in holy water before wearing them again. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. "I still look better in these than you could ever. But you're smart and these clothes fit me like a fucking tank top and shorts, so yes, Lana, I'll come to your house. Only because Im freezing out here" He added FRICK. FRICK THIS WAS A BAD,BAD IDEA

Azriels POV I stepped out of the shower, steam rising from the hot water. I smelled like lavender soap and vanilla- The scent of real men. I put on the fresh pair of clothes Lana gave me, A little smaller than what i wore but better than those hoodies of hers anyway. I saw her reading a book when i stepped out, no gods not another book-obsessed psycho. She motioned for me to sit down and applied some bandages, honey, and anti-septic cream and gave me some medecine, pain killers i guessed. She seemed to know what she was doing, better than going to a doctor if it meant it was free and she wasn't going- "Who gave you get these" My chain of thoughts are interrupted by her words. "I got myself banged up by a....raccoon?" A raccoon? A RACCOON? Thats the best I could come up with? Telling a girl that i got banged up by a raccoon? She laughs at my answer. It's not a soft melodic sound like i expected but a burst of laughter. She snorts and smirks at me. "Damn, a raccoon huh? Wait,does that mean your're pregnant now?Plus,what? did it tackle you to the ground with its little toe beans? What were you even fighting over, who gets the last thrown out doughnuts from the dumpster, oh, or, did she kick you out of the house instead? You're lovely raccoon wife." She laughs out, barely able to form the sentence without controlling her laughter. I roll my eyes but I cant help smile, I knew very little about this girl but i did know 4 things, 1. She was a terrible liar, introducing herself under a fake name when her name was written under every single one of her drawings, 'y/n' I liked that name, it sounded different yet familiar on my tongue. 2.She might have just saved my life 3. She had a very good taste in candy and 4. we are about to become very, very, very good friends, something I hadn't had in a while. Tell me in the comments if you want to be tagged in the next parts, plus im open to supportive constructive criticism so let me know how i can improve =) taglist: @anarchiii @starlightazriel @velarisdusk @siriuslystyle1989 @scorpioriesling

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Dude I absolutely adore your blog and your OC?? Disco spider is everything I strive to be in life 😭

Also, about disco spider. Does she have any powers outside of like the normal set spider powers? [Like Miles invisibility and electricity?]

Thank you so much!! Disco was the whole reason I learned how to draw recently lol

But yes, she does!! (sorry if this is long cause it kinda has to do with her arc and theres like a story behind it sorryr lojfkghdjj)

Disco-Spider's Summer Song

Diane's special attack is her Summer Song, otherwise called 'A Donna' by her team-mates. It's kind of a 'Black Canary' type power, named after the Disco singer Donna Summer rather than the season.

While performing or in battle, Diane can belt a high-note loud and high enough short near-by electronics and stun or daze people.

The dazing effect is useful for giving performances a mystifying feeling, but unlike Miles cannot do it on command nearly as easy.

It doesn't work if she yells, and she has to warm up her scales to even be able to attempt it.

They're less like Ariana Grande whistle notes and more like the belted notes of the song 'Funkytown'.

If it's done without some form of music, it's nearly impossible to do - and she has only done it without music maybe 3 times before - once being at Miguel after Gwen gets sent home.

She can however attempt it more if she's playing her bass Opal. However she'd never go swinging Opal around in battle the way Hobie does (lol)

Disco, Hobie, & the Summer Song more context on how it plays into her arc

About a year into knowing each other, Diane and Hobie discovered during a battle that her Summer Song reacts to Hobie's guitar playing

Albeit with a lot of drawbacks.

The power is a lot less predictable with Hobie's music style - and when she attempts to hit a Donna, it's effects will be partially influenced by his playing.

This is implied, with her Summer Song being most powerful when the both of them are playing.

But every successful Donna she's hit with Hobie leaves her voice raw for at least at day. Hobie's music is heavily influenced by the Gwen Stacy of his universe, and although Diane can match her range, she sits a whole octave above Diane.

Because of that, singing with Hobie - in battle or on stage - pushes her to the top of her register. So they don't do it often. Besides, she hates singing hard rock.

BUTTT the two of them do have a 'secret weapon' they haven't ever tried in person. At one point in knowing each other, Hobie and Diane dated for two weeks, fought the entire time, wrote and an album and then broke up.

They actually were in a pretty sour place at the time, and the last argument they had came down to eventually making a song together to settle it - a very angry and uptempo funk-rock song.

They have only ever played the song twice.

The time they played it before the breakup - it was enough to cause a good chunk of damage to Hobie's houseboat, and they broke up immediately after.

The second time they played it, it was Gwen's idea in an attempt to get them to reconnect. The three of them polished the song, with Gwen acting as mediator on drums.

The effects of the finished song were pretty catastrophic (in a good way) -

However it took a large hit to Diane - causing her to lose her voice for 3 or so days. She slept most of that time and was completely exhausted and out of it. A bit guilt-ridden, Hobie took care of her then and they rekindled from there.

Now they're back to being close - somethings. A good something, though.

They still haven't played the song again. Hobie always pushed Diane to develop vocally and push herself range wise, but that song is probably the only time he's like 'hey maybe dont go for that one.'

but Diane is adamant that if they were to try a third time, they'd get it completely right.

And for anyone who read this far (thank you soo much!!!!), and this is the song they 'wrote' before their breakup

[It's by Kimbra, the woman who featured on 'Somebody I Used to Know'. It's a rock-funk song where her vocal range is CRAZY. Her voice could totally tear a houseboat to shreds]

[blurglesmurfklaine]

ok ok I love drag me headfirst (fearless) so I've picked from there. and i adore this scene with you know REVELATIONS and such. sorry that this was probably a little while ago to think about.

“Dance with me?” Blaine asks, grin bright and beaming. 

Hell, Blaine could ask him to jump off a bridge, and as long as Blaine’s hand was in his, he’d do it. Kurt can’t stop the corner of his mouth from twitching, and then Blaine is full on grinning, reeling him in and tugging him close.

You lift my feet off the ground, spin me aroundYou make me crazier, crazierFeels like I'm falling and IAm lost in your eyes, you make me crazier, crazier, crazier

Every passing second, it’s getting more and more difficult for Kurt to ignore the pounding in his chest, or the buzzing, almost shakiness in his arms as he wraps them up around Blaine’s neck.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Huh?” Kurt says, voice a little out of breath and dazed.

“I feel like Taylor has some songs about kissing at parties. You know, full experience, and all.”

Kurt finds himself nodding, although he certainly can’t think of any off the top of his head. Truth be told, he can’t think at all when Blaine is pressed up against him like this.

His eyes dart to Blaine’s lips and then his eyes, scouring his face for any sense of hesitance but find none. Then, Blaine pulls them together, and Kurt’s mind goes blank, all he can think about is the gentle push and pull of his best friend’s mouth on his.

The moment Blaine pulls away and slowly opens his eyes is the moment Kurt realizes something he can never tell: he’s hopelessly in love with Blaine.

“Shit,” Kurt whispers.

Blaine knits his eyebrows together. “What?”

Kurt just shakes his head and pulls Blaine in, until their lips are touching once more. Blaine moves a hand to the back of Kurt’s neck and pulls him closer, as if they aren’t close enough already, as if he can’t get enough of Kurt, breathing him in. 

AHHHHHH THANK YOU! I actually loved writing Drag Me Headfirst because it might be THE most self indulgent thing i have EVER created ajshahshs

The DVD Commentary:

I knew I wanted to use “Crazier” even though it’s not technically on the fearless album because it IS a waltz which gives it that “sway”-y feel to it and I was like “oh yeah they can SLOWDANCE TO THIS”

God they are so stupid. They are just. Absolute fucking idiots and I know I’m the one who wrote them that way but at what cost???? Blaine is literally smiling like an IDIOT, finding an excuse to dance with you, and asking to kiss you and you’re just like “damn I wish he liked me” what kind of fuckery????? Honestly though I can’t even say anything because I’m the same way—I cannot take a hint for SHIT and I think a lot of people can’t either so I was like. Let’s lean into that. See what it looks like from an outside perspective. Ladies: we’re idiots your honor

THE “Oh.” MOMENT—in a friends to lovers AU, I am a HUUUUGE slut for that italicized Oh. moment!! bc like they’ve been besties forever so what makes it FINALLY click? I think it’s always gotta be something really stupidly fucking obvious (a kiss in this case) or something really subtle (like in HS when Tao buys Elle’s drink after she transfers).

But then oh no we’re not done fellas because as anyone who has ever had a crush on anyone ever can tell you—ITS THE PITS. The mortifying ordeal of being known and all that jazz! So I like to lean into that mortification and a thing I really enjoy writing is when a character is like “Omg I love them. FUCK.” because like yes I love love and I think it’s fantastic but the scariest thing about realizing you have something precious is realizing you could LOSE it so that’s where Kurt’s “Shit.” comes from lmao

And then my favorite moment in this scene is actually right after that when Kurt shakes his head because AS I was writing it I literally made myself cry with laughter at my own stupid jokes because I said: “NOW WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT” aloud to an empty room which is Normal Behavior of course.

I just really enjoy the progression of “Wow Blaine is such a good friend for kissing me. Oh, fuck, I’m in love. Nevermind, we’re going to ignore this.” I think in the moment it comes off as romantic and maybe even a little bit angsty, but honestly the whole thing is based off the humor and ridiculousness of it all which I guess you can’t have one without the other!

Thanks so much for sending this in jas!! It was so much fun! :D 💞💞

[iamtheprotagoneil]

Hi Aris!!! I just wanted to ask if you’ve heard the song “1000x” by Jarryd James & Broods? IT SCREAMS PROTAGONEIL SO MUCH.

“In another lifetime / I would never change my mind / I would do it again / Oh, a thousand times.”

I just can’t get over TP & Neil and needed to scream this at you. Thank you for being the protagoneil resource we all need in these trying times. ❤️💙

hi, friend. dude, you don’t know how grateful i am of this ask, because i took a listen to this song and i am now OBSESSED. it is a good song (to me at least), and it most definitely screams protagoneil

Even if I'm leaving you at the door Even when I know that you're never lonely Harder than imagined Harder when it's cold

this makes me think of protagoneil post-canon, when they’ve found each other again and established their relationship like we all know they would.

it’s the protagonist leaving neil to go on a mission, or vice versa, and the protagonist wouldn’t be able to stop himself thinking and worrying about neil. is he fine? did he get enough sleep today? what did he eat for breakfast? for lunch? for dinner? is he lonely without me there with him? 

it’s all very silly. he knows neil would be fine, knows that he knows how to take care of himself, that he’s got friends (not advised per tenet’s policies), that he’s just fine without the protagonist there besides him. but the protagonist just can’t help it, okay? he worries, and he worries more when neil is the one who leaves for missions. he won’t die here; you know this, yet irrationally, the protagonist worries.

Even when I'm playing in the fire Even when I'm doing it for all my life Harder than imagined Harder when I let it go

i imagine this is them saying goodbye. see, the game they play; the life they lead is quite dangerous, and they lose people more than they could ever learn to get used to. still, the protagonist losing neil / neil losing his protagoneil in the future, still the hardest thing - the hardest loss that either of them would ever have to experience. 

i dont think i’ve talked enough about neil’s side of that goodbye on this blog. like, he’s also losing someone very important to him, and not for the first time. the first time (if they even had that) must have been agonizing, must have been going straight to hell and back, but then this - neil having to walk away from the love of his life once more because he’s just too good, too devoted to do the things that he wants more than anything else.

or maybe, they didn’t get that first goodbye because of circumstances, cutting short their time together (shorter than it already is). maybe neil’s learned to let go, to move on despite how hard it was. all those years in inversion, he’s figured out a way to stop it from hurting him so much. but then, he meets the protagonist again, and all of his efforts just go straight out the door that the protagonist had walked in, all confident and fresh and handsome and all the things neil’d tried so hard to let go  😭😭😭

Never would I ever let my love escape you Never keep you from the promises I gave you Further than imagined Further than we've ever known

thinking about the protagonist trying to keep his distance from neil and ultimately failing because that’s just not how their story goes. (also i imagine neil would be quite persistent in earning the protagonist’s respect; keep injecting himself in the protagonist’s life despite how much the latter resist.) ((i’ve also read the first chapter of that may contain nuts fic and it’s really, really good. basically what i’m trying to say here heh))

also the second line makes me think about how neil never outright lied to the protagonist in the movie. it makes me think of neil’s little “i’ll tell you about it after we’re done with this, if you still care”. it makes me think about how careful the protagonist would be with neil in the future, thinking things once, twice, thrice over in his mind before saying it out loud because he doesn’t want to give neil false hopes, can’t have neil knowing too much, can’t expose himself of all the things he’s been feeling.

Tell me that love is enough The seas will be parted for us Tell me that love is, ooh

idk dude, this just makes me really sad.

In another lifetime I would never change my mind I would do it again Ooh, a thousand times Just to let you in here Where you make me lose my mind In another life I'd do it all again a thousand times

and you know they would. you know despite how much it hurts, they’d do it all again. they’d fall in love again despite the pain it would cause them when they have to part. they’d die for each other again, because it would always be the easiest thing they’d ever do. they’d meet each other, they’d know each other. do it all over again a hundred times, a thousand times, a million times. it doesn’t matter. that’s just the way their story goes.

[that-terrible-writer]

Not Like This

I’m over trying to add this through Safari.

Part 3

Part 1 2

“You call yourself terrible but this, this is beautifully written and I need more.”

“This has got me on the edge!!!! I dont usually like reading series or even multiple parts but dude I wanna read more of it!!!!!!! Are you planning on writing more??? This is so fucking AMAZING”

Warning: Over 3.3k to make up for me sucking.

You felt you had an out-of-body experience. You could see everyone in the control room at STAR Labs, but you were only watching their lips move. No noise was coming out. It was pure silence. You were utterly dazed; you couldn't get the image of Iris crying out of your head. She seemed so helpless, not getting the answers that she wanted. What were you supposed to do? Confess to her that you were the other woman?

A yell snapped you out of your thoughts. Turning your head slightly, you saw Ralph getting closer to you, "Y/N!" Ralph yelled. You covered your ear, wincing at the volume of his voice. You swatted Ralph away from your space, taking a few steps back.

"What is your problem, Dibny?" You mumbled, taking another sip of your coffee. It missed your lips, spilling the hot liquid onto your sweater. You let out a groan, patting the stain in, slamming your coffee cup down on the desk. The group looked at you, not wanting to say the wrong thing; though, Ralph took one for the team.

"I didn't mean to annoy you, Y/N," He explained. Ralph cautioned himself, taking a step towards you, "It's just, now's not the time to be spacing out. You know, with Cicada still out there." You lightly nodded your head, understanding Ralph's point. You rubbed your eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ralph. I didn't mean to take it out on you," You clarified. You glanced over at Barry, reading his worried look at you. Your heart ached when you locked eyes with him. A flash of Iris appeared, causing you to look away from him quickly. "Iris was over at my apartment last night, talking to me until 4 in the morning, so I didn't get much sleep last night."

You quickly saw Ralph's mood turned from concerned to being unsettled. You waved Ralph away from you, walking towards the doorway. You lifted your hand before letting anyone interject on what Iris was doing at your place. You looked over at them, "She's upset about the whole Nora thing. If you don't mind, I'm going to draft some weapon ideas and run them through Cisco." Cisco gave you a thumbs up, bringing the attention back to the Team, discussing ways to stop the biggest threat to Central City.

You walked by the weapon's room, heading straight to the lounge. You observed the room, seeing some things that Nora had left behind. You slowly made your way to the couch, plopping your heavy body onto it. You leaned your head back, letting out another frustrated sigh. You rethought your night with Iris when you knew you could no longer call yourself a friend anymore.

You brought over a cup of tea, sitting across from Iris. You thought that Iris would be out of tears, crying for an hour, and she still could go on for longer. You bit your thumb, trying to find the right words to say. Not to show concern for her, but to make sure you didn't let anything slip. Iris leaned over, cupping her drink close to her. She looked up at you, her face stained, her eyes puffy.

You grabbed a nearby box of tissues, handing them over to her. You watched as she blew her nose, sniffling the last bit. She collected herself, taking in a deep breath, "I'm sorry you had to watch that," She softly said.

You waved your hand, relaxing your shoulder, "Iris, it's okay. I would do the same if I were in your position." You waited until Iris took some time to drink her tea. You paused at first, not wanting to press on a sensitive matter. The curiosity was eating you alive, taking over, "Iris, why do you think Barry is cheating on you? Have you seen each other? You're the definition of couple goals." You clasped your hand over your mouth, not believing that you just asked her something so personal. Even if it did have to deal with you: you had to act like you didn't know.

Iris lightly laughed. You noticed the cup you gave Iris. It was the exact cup you were going to hand Barry when he interrupted you that night. You grew uneasy, rubbing your mouth and constantly moving your legs. You had to keep reminding yourself to calm down. You couldn't give away any tells.

"He's been more distant lately. He hasn't been relying on me as much. He used to come to me for emotional support; it's what a husband and wife do for each other, but when it came to Nora, he didn't want to discuss her." Iris explained. Her voice cracked, on the verge of crying again. Iris inhaled, calming herself down, trying to force a smile, "He came home this morning, and I don't know how to put it; he just seemed happy."

"Happy?'' You repeated. You furrowed your eyebrows together, shifting yourself on the chair. "How could he be happy? He sent Nora back; I would imagine happy is the last thing he would be feeling."

Iris shook her head, "I thought the same. Granted, I didn't know about Nora until he told me. He came home, all happy, then he informed me that he took her back to the future. I just can't figure him out anymore, Y/N." Iris placed her cup on the table to be able to put her head into her hands.

"I don't know what's going on, Iris. I'm in no place to tell you how to feel, but we need to remember Barry is going through a lot. Not only do we all have Cicada on our hands, but Barry also has to try and figure out Crisis. Then he learned that his daughter is working with the man that killed his mother. It's a lot to take in. We can't predict how someone could handle this type of thing." You tried your best to find a way to excuse Barry's behavior. You cursed under your breath, annoyed at how careless Barry was. You knew you had to speak with him, but you didn't need to grow any more suspicion.

"You're right; we don't know how Barry is handling all of this. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It's just caught me thinking of so many things because he didn't come home last night. I've been just letting the worst come to mind." Iris confessed. You went over, sitting next to Iris, wrapping your arm around her. You took in a deep breath, having been heartbroken when you heard Iris let out her cries again.

Your stomach turned, remembering last night. Rubbing your face, you couldn't shake the feeling away. You noticed something at the table. A fresh cup of mocha had appeared, from Jitters, with Barry Allen staring down at you. His eyes lit up when they instantly locked with yours, a smile tugging on his lips; you could feel the spark that you both shared.

"Barry, we shouldn't be seen together." You mumbled, reaching over for the drink. You saw Barry shift his weight, but you stop before he could speak, "Iris came over: worried about you. I don't particularly appreciate lying to her, Bear. It would help if you fixed this with her. That's final."

In a blink of an eye, Barry had used his powers on you again. The room reminded you of an insane asylum. White covered every inch of the space. "It's Thawne's hideout," Barry explained.

"That makes sense," You joked, "Only a psycho would have a place like this." You looked around, seeing a stand against the wall, "Is it safe to talk in here?'

"It is," Barry confirmed. He walked over to the stand, hovering his hand over to reveal an artificial face. Barry saw you stiffen up, reaching out a hand towards you, "It's alright. This is Gideon. I created her in the future, and Thawne was using her while he was stuck here."

"Hello, Mr. Allen," The AI spoke, "Hello, Ms. Y/L/N." Your face didn't move. It was still showing the same puzzle expression.

"Gideon, can you pull up the article?" Barry requestion. Gideon pulled up the article that had you all worried.

THE FLASH VANISHES

"Barry, why do I need to see this?" You complained, "We are doing our best to find a way to avoid the crisis." Barry walked over to you, standing behind you. He placed his hands on your shoulder, turning you to face the article. He lowers his head to be close to your ear, trying to have you focus. Focusing: that was the last thing on your mind.

"Look who wrote the article," Barry whispered. You looked up at the name. Gideon zoomed in for you to make no mistake.

"Iris West?" You barely got out. You shook your head, pulling yourself from Barry. You turned to face him, crossing your arms, still in disbelief. "So, what does this mean?"

"That article used to say Iris West-Allen," Barry pointed out. He took steps closer to you while you did nothing to step away. Barry cups your face, rubbing his thumbs along your cheek, "It's now just West. Don't you see Y/N? We get to be together.

"The timeline is changing, just like Thawne explained. We can't stop the way that we feel. We can have a life together." Barry smiled.

"I don't know, Bear. I don't want to start a relationship based on what we did. Based on a lie." You confessed.

"Let me handle it then," Barry assured, "I will tell Iris everything. I will make sure that everything falls on me and that you can still have a friendship in the end." Barry kissed you. A soft and gentle kiss, telling you that everything was going to be okay. You stared at Barry, about to interject. Yet, a familiar flash came into view.

You gripped onto Barry's arm, seeing Nora at the other end of the room. Her eyes flashed red; she was panting, having red lighting come out of every part of her body. You should see the anger flowing through her. You turned Barry around, having him stare at his daughter. Barry reached out behind him, grabbing onto you.

"Nora, I need you to calm down," Barry instructed, stretching a hand out toward his daughter, motioning her to stop in her steps. Barry knew what was happening with Nora. She returned to the present using the negative speed force, rejecting everything he instructed her not to do.

"She's ruining our family," Nora yelled, causing you to wince. Nora looked at her father; disappointment came across her face. "Are we not enough? Was I not what you wanted?" Nora's voice cracked, causing you to have tears form.

"Nora, I didn't mean for it to happen," You plead. Your voice also cracked, feeling the heavy amount of guilt you had with Iris, just growing when Nora had to be the one to find out. You didn't mean for this to happen. You never meant for any of this to happen.

"She has to go, Dad," Nora ordered. She took a step closer, balling her fists, ready to take flight.

"Nora, we can talk about this." Barry tried to calm her. You felt the wind go through your hair. You thought it was Barry thinking quick on his feet, but he could only run for so long until Nora caught up. When you stopped, the figure placed you to your feet, helping you stand.

You quickly spun around, making sure Nora wasn't anywhere near you. "Don't worry. You're safe." The voice answered. You turned to see a young man in front of you, wearing a purple and white suit. "I'll always make sure you're safe." He had appeared to be in his 20s, wearing his hair like a certain Speedster.

"Barry?" You let out softly, confused at what you were seeing.

The young man laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He showed certain traits on how nervous he was before you: his hands were restless, flicking his fingers at the tip, rubbing his mouth, and biting at the end of his thumb. "You always tell me how much I look like him," He told you. You didn't know what to say; no words were coming out of your mouth. You looked around you, seeing that nothing looked familiar, "You don't know where we are?" He asked you. You slowly look over at him, shaking your head softly.

The young man rubbed his chin, muttering to himself, "Maybe it will happen later." That is what you were able to catch.

"I'm sorry, what?" You rebutted, "Who are you? Where am I?"

"Don't worry! You're still in Central City!" He assured you. You waved your hands as a disagreement.

"That's the last thing I am worried about, as I have an absolute stranger pick me up and take me away from my friends!" You yelled.

The boy placed his hands on his hip, and that instant: you knew where the dots connected.

Your phone rang; seeing it was Barry on the other line, you picked it up, "Y/N! Thank God you're okay!" Barry's voice sent a wave of safety through you. "Where did you go? Who took you?" You closed your eyes, focusing on Barry's voice, taking in deep breaths.

You looked over at the boy, seeing his ears perk. He stared at you, waving his finger at you, "Is that—is that really—" The kid couldn't finish a sentence. His excitement had taken over him.

"We got Nora into the Pipeline. We were able to knock her out with some anesthesia." Barry informed you, "You can come back if the speedster lets you."

You glanced over at the boy, "I don't think he's bad, Bear." You assured him, "I think—I think we know him from the future." You hung up the phone, walking your way over to the eager boy. "Do you think you could take me back to STAR Labs?" You questioned him.

"You serious?" He said. His voice showed the excitement he held, in a flash, taking you back to your previous location.

Your hair was a mess, standing in front of your friends: back in the control room of STAR Labs. Barry didn't think; he went over to you, pulling you into a loving embrace. You lightly tapped Barry's back, whispering to him so that only he could hear, "I'm okay."

Barry pulled himself away, turning to the boy. His face mimicked yours. He scrunched his brows, confused at the sight before him, "Why does he look so much like—"

"You." Cisco finished. Cisco walked over, taking a good look at the boy. He walked around him, examining his outfit and facial features. Cisco placed a hand under his chin, "The resemblance is uncanny."

"A little bit too uncanny," Ralph grumbled, looking over to your direction. You felt your stomach drop as you knew Ralph would quickly catch on to what you figured out.

"Are you here because of your sister?" Caitlyn mentioned, grabbing the boy's attention from you and Barry. He looked a bit confused and shook his head.

"No, Dawn doesn't know that I'm here. If she did, she would have my head," He joked. His smile grew wide, showing more of the Allen gene running through him.

"Dawn?" Caitlyn caught, tilting her head at the thought. "Don't you mean Nora?"

The boy shook his head again, "I think I would know the name of my sister."

You saw Ralph make his way over to you, pulling you to the side, "You need to take that kid away." He ordered you. You continued to stare at Ralph, your sight going over to the kid once and a while, "They may not see it, but it's only a matter of time until they catch on."

The boy wipes his hands on his pants, trying to straighten himself out. The smile he wore was the same smile Barry had. "Where are my manners. My parents did teach them to me," He chuckled, flashing his eyes over to Barry. "I'm Don Allen. I come from the future."

You and Ralph let out an annoyed sigh, quickly covering it up when the rest of the team looked at you. You make your way to Barry, tugging on his arm. Barry looks down at you, raising his eyebrows.

"Bear, we need to get this kid out of here. We need to speak to him alone." You informed him. It took Barry a while, realizing what was happening.

"Hey, Don," Barry spoke up, "How about we don't say anything about the future. We already have Nora in the Vault; we don't need any more future business involved." Don grew confused by Barry's remarks. He was able to read Barry's expression, understanding that nothing else needed to be said.

"Are you here to help us with Cicada? Like Nora was?" Cisco asked. Don looked over at the two of you, reading your worried expressions.

"Yes," Don said slowly; he turned to Cisco, pointing at him with a bit of a chuckle, "That is why I'm here. To help out with your bug problem. Me. Cicada. Yes." He was as awkward as Barry was; it wasn't helping.

Cisco let out a sigh of relief, having a smile on his face, "Great. The more help, the better. I'm close to the cure; we learned that Cicada's powers don't affect Killer Frost. I hope that enough recap for you because we can't waste any more time with this. We are a woman down, so we need all hands on deck!" Cisco clapped, getting everyone's attention. It was a signal to look busy.

Cisco left the room with Caitlyn to continue their efforts in completing the cure. Ralph followed behind. When Ralph was almost out of the room, you could see him mouth you some words: "Fix this!"

Barry waited a few moments, placing his hand along your lower back to guide you out of the control room. Don caught up, but the moment he tried to say anything, Barry placed an index finger to his lips to silence the kid. Barry put his hand on the wall, opening up a door to go back into Thawne's room.

"What are you doing here, Don?" Barry demanded the moment the wall sealed up. Don rubbed his hands, looking at his angry father. His mouth twitched, from going into a frown to just a thin line. "Don, you can tell me."

Don was pacing the room, "I don't understand," Don muttered, looking over his shoulder where the door was. He pointed towards the door, "They don't know?" Don asked both of you. You looked up at Barry, who had the same action, looking back at you. Don went over to you, grabbing your left hand to examine it.

"You're not married?" Don questioned you. You shook your head. Don ran his hands through his hair, getting more and more restless. "This can't be happening," He grunted. He turned to Barry, pointing his finger at the Red Speedster, "Why aren't you married to her?"

"Because he's married to Iris," You informed Don. Don looked over at you, the look of disappointment he had shown. "They've been married for a few years now. We're just friends." You felt Barry's hand resting on your side, his grip tightening. You took a moment, knowing what Don was going to say.

"Mom, you can't be serious," Don finally told you. The moment you knew the truth, you felt your breath leave your body. You felt faint, but with Barry holding onto you, you were able to stand. "You and dad need to be together! My being, Dawn's being, everything is disappearing in the future. You two not being together is destroying the future!"

You turned to look up at Barry. Barry looked at you, still calm over the revelation. Barry had to decide which future he wanted to have and had to choose which one had to go; the very thought made you sick to your stomach.

Tagged: @randomfanders-blog​ @ibe-anne @my-soul-is-the-moon

Permanent Tagged: @sxturn-stars

Some of the tags aren’t working and I’m sorry 😢

[spookypotato]

Hey! It's the 20th of January! Perfect time for me to finally post my secret santa fic I might have forgotten about right? Absolutely. So here it goes :)

This was and is still for megss (@charginger)

I also wrote her a poem and I thought I would include it :)

Your Secret Santa, it is I,

so okay, I would really lie,

if I were to tell you I would have guessed,

that you would be a bit more impressed.

Anyway this is the big reveal,

the time for my identity to unseal,

Hey, I'm Veronika, I hope you like what I made,

may it help the christmas cheer to not fade!

I had two assistants, I shall not forget,

@ninak803 and @marauderss-hp only because of them it's finally set.

there might be mistakes, at least so I worry,

my english isnt perfect, I am sorry.

Merry Christmas! you wonderful snowflake,

now read to find out what Sirius might bake!

cw: food

Hope's favourite cookies

"Hurry, Remus.", Sirius was running around in the kitchen, trying to find ingredients for their christmas cookies.

"I am, I am, although I dont think this is exacly an important task, right now."

"Remus, mon loup", he stilled for a short moment and placed a kiss on Remus' nose, "This will be my first christmas with your family. It needs to be perfect. They need to like me.", he stated, like it was obvious and began looking over the recipe, mumbling to himself.

"I'm pretty sure, you're like their favourite non-related person in the world-", realizing Sirius wasn't even listening and carefully pouring the exact amount of flour in the bowl they needed, Remus trailed off.

Walking over to his - way to stressed for this occasion - boyfriend and wrapping his arms around Sirius' waist, he told him, looking over his shoulder at the dough he'd made so far, "Baby. Please relax, alright? They already love you and it will be perfect."

When Sirius turned around in his arms Remus could see the doubt and stress on his boyfriend's face as two lines formed on his forehead. Going up to his toes, he kissed them away, like he had wanted to do for years. "Besides", Remus grabbed a bit of the dough and put it into his mouth, "not serving my mom's favourite cookies is definitely not on the bad-boyfriend-list."

Sirius finally looked a bit more relaxed. Then he suddenly narrowed his eyes at Remus, "There isn't actually a list, right?"

"'course there is", Remus answered and watched the fear as it seeped into the face in front of him. "I'm kidding, baby.", he gasped out after he couldnt hold his laughter back any longer, "Don't worry, okay? They love you and nothing will change that. Now put this dough in the fridge, there are more important things to do!"

~

They parked in front of the Dumais' house. Remus looked at the time displayed in Sirius car. "We're late. May be because of your obsessive need to achieve perfection, but at least we're finally done with everything right?", Remus leaned over and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

Sirius smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, sorry. I'm just nervous, you know?"

"I promise you, the evening with our familys will be perfect. Now stop worrying, we're late.", with that Remus got out of the car leaving his boyfriend to shake out of his daze and follow.

Their arms piled with presents, they made their way to the front door, Remus using his foot to ring the doorbell, as if it was an everyday task.

The door opened with a "Bonjour!". Sirius could'nt see the other man, but recognized Pascal's voice behind the big present he was holding.

"Hey Dumo. How are you?", he heard Remus say as they walked into the living room, toeing of their shoes to not get the clean floors dirty.

"Good. Finally relaxed now that the presents are all done.", he added the last part as he moved closer to the couple, almost whispering.

It was that moment they all heard loud footsteps on the ceiling. Children running around to the direction of the staircase.

"Shit. Um-", Sirius almost threw the present into Dumos' arms, the gears in his head visibly clicking into place to find a solution for their poor time management, "Okay, Remus! Can you get the rest? I'll distract the kids."

Remus looked amused as he saw Sirius determination to not ruin the children's christmas with the shocking discovery that santa was in fact just their parents.

So he obediently got all the presents from the trunk of Sirius' car and brought them into the basement, so Pascal and Celeste could place them underneath the tree in the night.

Sirius having chased Marc up the stairs, could be heard as he probably tickled him mercilessly, if the shrieks and laughs from both boys were anything to go off of.

As his boyfriends was probably just waiting for some kind of sign from Remus, that he had stored the boxes away, he went up the stairs aswell, just catching Marc running off to his room, having escaped Sirius grasp. Sirius made a move to follow him, but stopped as he saw Remus.

"All set up?", he asked, putting his arms around Remus waist.

"Yes. Stored securely away from curious children's eyes. They probably know about Santa already, you know?", he leaned against his boyfriends chest.

Putting his chin on top of Remus head he replied, "Yeah, I know. I just don't want to risk it. I dont want to ruin their view of christmas."

"What about Santa?", came a small voice from their right. They hadn't noticed Katie's door opening. "Did you hear something from him?"

She looked a bit tired, but somehow also full of excitement for the evening and probably even more for tomorrow morning.

"Non, mon petit chat. But, usually that's a good sign.", he let go of Remus to lean down to her, "It just means that he's busy making and flying out presents. And that nothing went wrong, so let's hope we only hear from him tomorrow morning, eh?"

"Oh. Yeah, then I hope so too.", there was a short pause, but then the seven-year-old's energy came back. "Ooh, Sirius! Can you help me choose a dress for dinner?" She was jumping with excitement and how could anyone say no to that face.

He kissed Remus and smiled at him, before following Katie into her room.

"So, I have a green one, a pink one and a blue one. Which one should I wear?"

Sirius knowing she would look adorable in all of them actually couldn't decide. Her whole evening could depend on this choice. Okay, maybe he was being dramatic, but he wanted to choose a good one. Then he noticed her glancing over to the green one, again and again. So he told her that, he liked that one the best and was rewarded with a wide smile.

Kissing her head with a "See you downstairs in a bit.", he left her room to join the others in the kitchen.

Just as he wanted to enter, the door bell rang.

He went over, hearing Remus and Pascal trail behind him and opened the door.

"Merry Christmas Eve!", Hope said cheerfully and hugged Remus.

"Hi, mum. I missed you."

"You forgot about us, Re'?", he just saw Julian run up to them, from where he had still been at the car, jumping up to his brother.

Remus lifted him with ease, "Wait, who are you again?". At the shocked expression of his brother he cracked up, laughing and getting them both inside.

"Pascal.", he Lyall greeted, "Thank you so much for hosting us all this Christmas."

"We're happy to have you! You're Sirius' family, so you're mine! Now, come inside. It's way too cold out here and dinner is almost done."

They all went into the kitchen. The food smelled amazing, so it was pretty hard not to be drawn to Celeste's current working space. Even though she was clearly a bit stressed, she chipped into the conversation every once in a while.

Sirius looked around from where he was leaning against the counter, standing next to Remus, "So when will Reg be making an appearance? I didn't think he'd go out on Christmas Eve."

"Oh. He's not. He in the basement-"

Dumo was cut of by Sirius, who was now leaving the room with quick steps in the direction of the stairs, shouting, "In the- That little shit. It's Christmas, Reg!"

~

Finally everyone was sitting at the beautifully set table. There were candles and carefully set up evergreen twigs, next to the delicious Christmas feast (it could not be described as a dinner). From were the table was positioned, everyone also had a wonderful view of their Christmas tree. Decorated with red and gold ornaments and an angel on the very top.

As soon as they had all sat down to eat, the stress Sirius had piled onto himself was somehow gone. He held up easy conversations with everyone, even one on one with Lyall. He seemed like he'd known them for years. They talked about hockey and the ride here and Remus really enjoyed watching his boyfriend bond with his family.

Until his mum joined in again, having had a separate conversation with Pascal about their kids.

"You know, I have video of Remus and Julian on christmas, when we bought them each their first hockey equipment."

Remus knew exacly how that had gone so he was determined to not show any reaction and just move on to the next topic. Sirius however had exacly the opposite planned and he never despised his boyfriend more then in that moment.

"Hope. Please. With all that holy to me, I beg you to show me that video someday."

Okay, that could go alright. Someday. Maybe Sirius would have forgotten until someday.

~

Once they were all finished eating and the kids were already starting to go to bed, they thanked Dumo and Celeste again, not only for the beautiful atmosphere, but also for the amazing food that left them all more than full up to the point, they couldn't even eat Celeste's christmas cookies anymore. Of course they got a to-go package full of every flavour that she had made that year.

Afterwards they all left for Sirius' house.

"Please can I drive with you? Pleeeaaase?", Julian begged Remus, standing in front of Sirius' car.

"'course, Jules-", Remus barely finished before his brother said, "Thanks. Alright, shotgun!"

And that's how Remus got to watch his boyfriend and little brother from the backseat, while they were discussing what Jules might get for Christmas.

It was a rather short ride to their house, filled with a long string of "I won't tell you." 's and "Pleeeaaaase." 's, but when they arrived Julian jumped out of the car like it was on fire.

"Easy there. You won't get any gifts from us until mum and dad are here."

~

Now they were all settled onto Sirius' massive couch and Julian was jumping up and down, probably breaking the springs any moment.

"Alright, seeing as Jules is ready to burst from excitement we'll start with our gifts."

Sirius left to get the big red one they had hidden in their bedroom.

Meanwhile, Hope was leaning over and noting smugly, "our gift, huh? You two bought your gifts together?"

Remus looked at her a bit sheepishly. They had been dating for over a year now, it didn't feel wrong to give out gifts together.

His mum saw his worried face and simply said, "No, don't worry. It's sweet."

Just as Remus wanted to reply his boyfriend came back into the room with Julian's gift, placing it on the floor in front of him. It was nearly as tall as Julian himself.

He picked it up and shook it. He could hear something moving inside, but that didn't help him determine what it could be.

Remus tore his eyes away from his brother's excited face, to look at his equally excited boyfriend. He was on the tips of his toes until he broke, "Come on, Jules! I'm dying here. Just rip it open!"

Remus had to laugh at Sirius impatience and enthusiasm, but he also wanted to see his brother's reaction.

"No!", was the first thing they heard and it was Lyall's voice. Apparently he had already seen part of the gift.

Julian ripped the wrapping away completely and tore the box open, revealing a lions hockey stick and a jersey, both with his number and name printed on it.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love them!", running over to his brother and Sirius and hugged them both, almost making them fall over from his force. "My team is going fo freak out!"

"I'm glad you like them."

Sirius visibly relaxed, "Can't be a real Lion, if you don't have the proper gear."

"Well, now I can! Okay, okay. I have something for you, too."

Sirius and Remus sat down and waited for Julian to get Remus' gift from where they had left them in front of the door.

"Here. For when you miss us."

Remus carefully ripped the wrapping paper away to reveal a snow globe. He turned it around a saw landmarks from his home state. It was incredible.

Remus eyes became teary. "I love it. But hopefully you'll never be gone long enough for me to miss. Oh, come here."

Jules came over and hugged him, but then the younger jumped up and ran out the door again.

He came back with another gift. He walked over to Sirius. "For you.", Julian held out he gift.

"Jules! There was no need to-"

"Its nothing, really. It's just something small. You might not like it, but I made it and I wanted to give it to you.", Julian looked a bit embarrassed, now.

Sirius removed the wrapping from the rectangular object to reveal-

"It's a picture of my family.", Julian told him.

Sirius looked at the framed photo. It was after a game. The Lupins had come down to the lockerroom. It was Lyall with his arm around Hope. Julian in front of them, flashing his brightest smile. Remus standing next to them. And to his right Sirius. Holding Remus close, a hand on Julian's shoulder, smiling. Now it was Sirius' time for tears.

"Jules, Julian. This is the sweetest gift I've ever received, thank you." Sirius couldn't really put into words how much this meant to him. To not only be accepted, but welcomed into this new family.

"Oh, come on. I- I need a group hug, please."

They all piled onto Hope like they were on the ice. Sirius being the first, hugged her the tightest, not wanting to let go. He could feel all of Julian pressed to his side and Remus as he kissed his temple. He even felt Lyall's hand from the other side on his shoulder blade, pressing the group together.

Apparently, he really didn't need any cookie bribes, it seemed like he was fine just the way he was.

mon petit chat- my little cat

[violetnotez]

How about Tamaki Amajiki with a shy, introvert, nerdy S/O who's studying to become a entomologist (someone who studies butterflies and moths?)

Tamaki x reader

⤷ Genre: Fluff

⤷ Word Count: 2300+

⤷ Warnings: mild cursing

⤷ Synopsis: Tamaki is more than happy spend the day with his s/o at butterfly conservatory, since butterflies and moths are their passion. It’s just such a strange world to him, and he’s pretty nervous about it-especially when the bugs seem to take a liking to his hair

This fic is for the @bnhabookclub Bingo Event! Here’s my masterlist to see all my work for this event!

Bingo Slot: Hair Playing

This is my first one shot with little Amajiki, so sorry if it’s not very good! I lowkey wrote all this at 1 in the morning, so I honestly have no idea what sleep deprived me came up with 😂💀

Also I’m in mobile and at work so I can’t add a “Read More” 😭 I’ll try to get to it when I’m at home!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

You gasped, your eyes blown out of sockets as you looked around at the garden. The smile you were sporting in your cheeks was uncontainable-there we’re just so many butterflies.

They fluttered to and fro like little fairies, each one having a different wing design and a different color. They were so beautiful, so delicate, their wings creating a symphony of small sounds as they fluttered on to the available flowers and trees.

You mind instantly began to pinpoint the different species, the little bodies so used to humans that they were zooming across your own as if you were apart of the forest yourself.

There was a monarch, a painted lady, red admiral, orange sulphur-

“Do-do you like it?”

Tamaki was watching you nervously, his voice nervous as his eyes trained on your shocked face.

He knew how much you loved butterflies and moths, something he had learned about you very early on in your relationship. You had a special bond with the creatures, always researching and learning about new species each day.

After he had learned about this conservatory after you had talked about wanting to go, he knew instantly he had to buy tickets for you to go. He had made a surprise until now, your complete silence making him nervous.

Maybe you didn’t want to go here? Maybe he heard you wrong?

“Oh Tama, it’s-it’s amazing,” you breathed out, your smile evident in your voice, “its perfect,”

You grabbed his hand tenderly, your digits softly gracing the pads of his flesh. Tamaki gulped, a blush evident in his face-he still wasn’t used to this whole relationship, it was honestly scary to him, but-it felt nice. He loved having your skin against his, almost a reminder that none of this was a dream and in fact real.

Now that he could breathe a sigh of relief, he let himself melt into your touch, a nervous smile gracing his lips.

He had to admit it, this place was really breathtaking. The trees were incredibly tall, almost as tall as a whole house, the canopies dropping down as if protecting the butterflies from the outside world. The flowers decorating the floor were bright and colorful like confetti, matching the multiple colors of the butterflies. The damp dirt was sweet, making the whole conservatory smell like the earth after a rainstorm. Everything about this place felt pure and peaceful, making Tamaki feel more at ease.

You squeezed your nervous boyfriend’s hand, turning to look at his adorably shy expression.

“Cmon Tama,” you cooed sweetly, “lets go explore-“

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Now you were sitting on the floor with Amajiki, both your legs crossed casually. You had your phone out, giggling softly as you took pictures of the shy boy.

“Geez Tamaki, I didn’t know you were such a butterfly whisperer,” you giggled, taking another round of pictures of him.

He arms were stretched out along his body, a squirming expression on his face as he tried not to move. Amajiki had to have at least 10 butterflies on each of his arm, not including the ones fluttering on his chest and head, the butterflies somehow all crowding on to him.

“I-I didn’t know-either,” he stuttered out.

He looked so sweet like this, trying hard not to disturb the little creatures on his body.

You smiled again at the boy, settling into the floor as you peered into his indigo blue eyes.

“Do you know what it means when a butterfly lands on you?” You asked quietly, a small smile on your lips.

“No-I dont,” Tamaki stared at you, his eyes wide. “What does it mean?”

You leaned in to him, looking at each butterfly with warmth and affection.

“Well honestly, there’s a lot of interpretations-some say it means transformation and growth, a sign you're discovering your inner wisdom. In dreams, it can mean you're on the right track about a decision, or just good luck.”

You smiled, giving him an embarrassed look.

“Sorry, you probably don’t want to hear me ramble-“

“It’s okay, you can talk about them,”” he interjected, taking care to not move his jaw too much in order to not scare the butterflies. “I think its-it’s....sweet, that you know so much,”

Tamaki was blushing, his cheeks tinged with red. He would be completely embarrased to admit it out loud but-he absolutely loved to hear you talk. You were usually shy and kept to yourself, but when ever you got passionate about something and just rambled, it was-well-nice. He could almost get a glimpse into your mind, seeing how the ideas just flowed through you and created such interesting thoughts. It was intoxicating to Tamaki, and he could never get enough of it.

“Do-do you know what this one is?” he asked timidly, his eyes trained on a beautiful red butterfly with an inky black trim.

“Oh, that one?” you cooed, leaning in slightly towards the little bug. “Thats a red admiral- red butterflies usually symbolize intense love and passion, so sometimes its associated with lovers,”

“Do-do you like those ones? The red?” he asked. His arms were beginning to feel tired frm keeping the butterflies up comfortably, but the ticklish feeling of their beatiing wings took some of the sting off his aching limbs.

You shrugged your shoulders, a carefree smile on your lips.

“I think they’re beautiful,” you said, “but they have alot of bad associated with them. Like some myths from Scotland say a red butterfly is a witch in disguise. Or from Korea, they say that if you touch a red butterfly and then touch your eye, you’ll evetnually go blind.”

Tamaki gulped, his inky blue eyes wide.

“Well thats a little-intense,” he stammered.

You giggled at his obivous shock, your nose scrunched so so adorably Tamaki felt his heart squeeze.

“Yeah just a litle,” you smiled softly.

Your hand reached out, Tamaki watching your every move as you delictely picked up an orange butterfly, its design swirling with black an white.

“This one- is one of my favorites,” you mused, your eyes drinking in lovingly the little orange creature.

Tamaki sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“It-its beautiful,”

You simply nodded, a sweet smile on your face as you watched the butterfly flutter on your pointer.

“This is a monarch-I pretty sure you’ve seen it before,”

Tamaki hummed in agreement-come to think of it, he had learned about his butterfly. He had only vaguely seen it in grade school, maybe in one of the science books he had read in class, but he had never seen it up close.

It was so beautiful, the orange so vibrant yet gentle, the black design looing almost handpainted-perfectly and imperfectly created by Nature’s own hands.

“I think these are absolutely beautiful, but what I really like is the folklore behind them.”

“In Mexico, many pople believe that the monarch migration are actually souls from the Land of the Dead that visit each year during the Fall season. They decorate their altars, and even sometimes dress up as them to help the souls come back to earth and visit their loved ones.”

You gazes at the little creature, your eyes full of admiration aad affection.

“It just-sounds so sweet ya know? That all these people wait for these little guys, and feel so mucch hope and love for them, because they’re a promise that their love never truly dies,”

Tamakki smiled timiidly at the little monarch-how could he tell you that thats exactly how he felt aout you?

You were his little monarch- he had waiting for someone like you to come into his life, to be a promise that everything was going to be okay. That any insecurity or problem he felt he had with himself wasnt so bad as he thought it was- to give him hope that in the future things would turn out okay. He was terrfied some days that your love was all just a fantasy, that maybe, for some reason, you didnt truly love him like he did and you were just dating him out of pity. It was hard for him to get out of those very low stupors, when he felt like he had no worth, but rememebring your smile and your voice and they way you said “I love you” to him made him realize it was all in his head- that your love for each other was real. You were his promose that love was true and never just went away.

You looked up at Tamaki, your soft smile turning into a surpressed chuckle. Somehow when you had been talking about the monarchs, even more butterflies had landed on Tamaki, making hard to even see the color of his shirt now.

“Tama, do you need some help?” you giggled, looking att he doting man with wide innocent eyes.

Tamaki blinked a few times, waking himself up frm his daze-did that many butterflies land on him?

The ache on his arms seemed to get even worse, making his muscles quiver from the effort.

He gulped, a shy grin on his face.

“Y-yes, thatd be nice,” he said, loving how sweet your giggles sounded.

You began to gently help Tamaki say goodbye to his new found friends, tapping gently on his arm to send vibrations that would make the butterflies stutter away. Some were a little more determined, making you have to take it off his shirt by placing it on your finger and gently blowing on it to make it fly off.

All your gentle prodding was making Tamaki blush intensely- he honestly loved your touches, but he was always too nervous to say so.

He simply sat there, relishing the feeling of your skin against his clothing as the dull ache in his arms began to wash away.

Afer a few minutes of prodding, you finally gave a sigh.

“Alright, I think thats the most of them-just now for your hair…”

There were a few butterflies perched in his inky locks, making their colorful wings stand out even more in the almost black landscape of his tresses.

You reached out, your hands beginning to rack against his hair, lifting the strands gently in order to get the butterflies to melt away from his body.

Poor Tamaki’s face began to heat up intensely- this was something he absolutely adored. Whenever you burshed, combed, or even just touched his hair, he instantly felt at ease. His whole body felt warmed up with a bubbly sensation, and butterflies filled his stomach (no pun intended).

He sighed in content, his long black lashes fluttering downward- he could honestly sleep right here, with you touching his hair so soothingly as the butterflies beat their gentle wings in the background.

You definitely noticed that little sigh, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

“You like it when I touch your hair Tama?” you asked sweetly, your heart swelling when you see Tamaki’s cheeks look so warm.

God-why was your boyfriend so adorably cute?

I-uh-uh yes I do,” he stuttered out,clearly sheepish, “could-could you keep touching me-like that?”

You grinned softly, your hands wracking into his hair even more,

God, you could scream with joy right now. Your boyfriend rarey asked for touches, unless he was extremely tired or distraught- it took alot for him to admit he wanted any type of touches, and in public too. He must feel so calm in this moment, and you couldnt be more happy for him. Your heart swelled,a strange sensation of wanting to just kiss him taking over your body.

“Sure thing,” you whispered, your digits caressing his locks. You two sat in complete and comfortable silence, Tamaki focusing on your every touch while you simply relished playing through his har, twisting and brushing the inky black locks.

Amaki felt so at peace it was almost nervewracking-all of this felt like a dream, and he was scared that if he opened his eyes, he would wake up to nothignness. You wouldnt be there, the butterflies would disapperear, and his whole world would no longer be decorated in colors but in meek grays. You were his eveything to him, and he couldnt let you go.

Tamaki gulped, his brows knitted downi n conflict.

“Y/n I-is this a dream?”

You gave a short giggle, finding the comment quite adorable.

“No, sweetie, it isnt-why do you ask?”

“Because-this feels-it feels to good to be real.”

You faltered slightly from touching his hair, your fingers stopping in their tracks.

Too good to be real?

“Tama, I-” you tried to ask gently, but Amajiki beat you to your words. His eyes fluttered open, his hand reaching for your wrist and bringing it downwards, holding it close to his chest.

Y/n, youre-youre my marposa,” he stated, his voice almost forceful, as if he was trying to convince you of his words. “Youre my promise of love. Please-I know it doesnt make much sense but-but you mean everything to me, and I, terrified that of this is-”

Tamaki words were muffled against your lips, your flesh pressed up gently against his own. He tensed up slightly, his body full of shock until he finally succumbed to it, his cheeks on fire as he melted into you.

You pulled away from the stuttering boy, a blissful smile on your lips.

“-fake?” you finished his sentence, “Did that feel fake to you Tamaki?”

The boy didnt know what to do-his whole body felt like it was on overdrive, his skin feeling tingly and warm and shivers crawling deliciously down his back.

Only you could make his nervousness feel exhelirating, and he drank up every minute of being so intimate with you.

N-no,” he stammered, his eyes watching as you smiled at him, your head cocked towards your shoulder.

“You have nothing to worry about-Ill always be right here with you,” you tenderly grabbed for the boy’s hand, your fingers dancing lazily against his digits.

“Youre my promise too”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

[floating-in-limbo]

You're my sun, my moon, and all my stars.

Tw: self h*rm, depression, angst.

GN!Reader x Hawks angst

A vent fic I wrote because I needed to do something to cope healthily. I might write a short second ending, but idk. I didn't beta read this, but I'll polish it tomorrow and post it to my AO3 as well. Much love.

BNHA writing blog @hawksmodelofficial

The room was dark except for the faint light shining from your phone's screen. It was some what quiet due to the sound of your fan whirring, keeping your room cool. All this was part of your typical nightly routine and wouldn't be concerning except for the fact that you felt suffocated. Again.

You're sitting on your bed, the air blasting you giving you one of the only physical sensations you can feel in this state. Staring ahead into the black room, you sit and listen to all the horrid thoughts running through your head.

You feel numb and would give anything to feel something other than this suffocating emptiness. You tried your usual coping mechanisms: watching videos that usually make you laugh, listening to your comfort bands, distracting yourself with any sort of pastime.

None of it is working though. None of it has been working for a while now. This numbness, emptiness, hollow feeling consuming your body grows every day. Some days you can manage to push past it, jump over the hurdles and clear the finish line. Not today.

The last option you can think of before doing something harmful is to reach out to someone. You've been isolating yourself, but you desperately want their help at the same time.

Looking at the phone resting in your hands, you pull up Keigo's contact. It had been a couple days since the last time you two talked. He's the #2 pro hero, so he's constantly busy, but always tries to make time for you.

Y/n: are you awake

You sent the message and watched it deliver. You only ask because it's currently 3:26am and most people are asleep at this time. He responds a minute later.

Dodo Brain: what's up?

You're staring at his message. On one hand you're relieved Keigo's awake but on the other, you can already feel the guilt eating away at you for bothering him.

Y/n: i need help

Y/n: i hurt

You typed out the messages with shaky hands. Your chest tightens and you feel sick. You hate asking for help. Why should you make other people suffer because you can't help yourself?

Dodo Brain: are you ok, kid? what's wrong are you hurt???

Looking at the clock, it really hits just how tired he must be and how much you're intruding on his personal time. You decide to call off your cry for help before you make it any worse for him.

Y/n: ah yeah nvm dont worry about it sorry to wake you

You toss your phone onto your pillow. Once again, you're sabotaging yourself but you don't care anymore. Getting up from your bed, you head to the bathroom to get bandages, and tissues. While doing this, you fail to notice your text notifications going off.

Dodo Brain: kid what are you talkin about

Dodo Brain: why arent you answering

Dodo Brain: please answer me you're making me worried

Dodo Brain: im heading over now

Once you have your supplies to clean up, you head back into your room and sit back on your bed. You grabbed your hidden blade on the way and now just contemplate your actions.

Craving to feel something, anything, even if its pain and regret, you'll take it. You chose where you want to cut and begin, pulling a long line across your skin. You hiss at the immediate sting. Blood already begins to bead.

You continue to do this, almost in a daze yet you feel tears suddenly well from your eyes and fall. It hurts. Not just what you're doing, but what lead you to this point.

Unbeknownst to you, Keigo immediately flew to your residence. He grabbed the spare key you gave him and unlock the front door. Its eerily quite except for the faint sobs he can hear as he navigates the dark residence.

After you were satisfied with your work, you just sit there letting the blood drip down your skin. You'll have to do laundry but that's the least of your worries. You lean your head back against the wall and cry. Soft whispers of "I'm sorry..." leave your lips.

Keigo finds your room, using your quite cries and soft words to navigate. He flips on the lights and gasps at the scene in front of him. You jolt your head forward, eyes wide and you scramble to hide yourself. Unfortunately that only makes you wince in pain and open the wounds further.

"We need to get you cleaned up. Dont move okay? You already have bandages so let me do the work." Keigo's words dont really reach you but you sit there anyway.

He moves towards you with conviction but the energy around him is scared, nervous even. Sure he's seen your old scars before but never this. He grabs the bandages and antiseptic, applying them to all the wounds.

Every now and then you wince, and he immediately spills apologies. Your head is hanging low, you can't bear to make eye contact with him. Once Keigo finishes cleaning you up, there is an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry..." is all you can croak out before your sobbing into your hands. Embarrassment floods your head. Regret. Resent. Why did he have to come? Why did he have to see this?

"Fuck, kid. Please don't apologize. You didn't answer my texts and I figured something was wrong. I just wish I got here sooner." You can hear the pain in his usually cheery voice.

"I didn't know what to do anymore! I'm sick of feeling like this! Im sick of hurting so much that I have to hurt myself to distract from everything else. It's not fucking fair..."

Keigo stands in front of you assessing the situation. He reaches out to touch you but you shrink away from him. "Please leave, Kei...please...I'm tired."

"So am I, y/n but if you think I'm leaving you alone like this, I'm pretty sure you're the dodo brain out of the two of us." You smile ever so slightly. Its broken and he can tell.

"Let's get some clean sheets on the bed first, ok? Then we're going to sleep and I'm not leaving you alone. Not when you're hurting like this. Can you move?" You shake your head no. Not only do you hurt, exhaustion set in.

"I'm gonna pick you up alright, kid?" You nod and that's all he needs. Gently, he wraps his arms around your frame and pulling you into his chest. Red feathers move throughout your room, pulling the bloodied sheets off and tossing them into your hamper.

"I'm gonna set you down so I can grab the spares. Promise me, you'll be okay until I get back."

"Kei, you're just going down the hall."

"Y/n." His voice is stern but still soft at the same time. "Look at me." You gaze up at him and see the broken expression on his face. You never noticed the pain he probably feels right now.

"Pinky promise you'll be okay for a couple minutes." He holds out his hand, sticking his pinky out for you to reciprocate. You slowly do the same and cross fingers. "I'll be right back."

He leaves your room and you can hear him grabbing stuff from the closet with spare bedding. You sit with your head hanging down, eyes closed, thinking of everything. Keigo comes back with am armful of bedding and you shakily stand so he can change the sheets completely.

"Let's go to bed, okay?. I'm taking tomorrow off and I'm staying with you until we figure this out.

"You dont need to do that. I'll be fine, really. I dont want to burden you..." You can feel the tears well up again and you begin to shake. "Y/n, please. I can't bear to see you like this. You're the sun I see in the sky when I fly and the moon when I rest at night."

You look at him with disbelief. "Let's go to bed and talk more in the morning okay?" You nod and he moves you to bed, pulling you close but still aware of where you're hurt. His wings come around on top of you, almost like he's shielding you.

Your eyes slowly dip close as he rubs circles on your hand with his thumb.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH29

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,753

- Author Note: Mild smut ahead (more to heated makeout session though hahaha) so, you have been warned on my cliche smut writing, i really dont know how to write a proper smut.So sorry for that, u can skip that part :)

Previous | Next

Chapter 29

“Coming!” hurriedly, Hoseok ran to the front door and he’s welcomed by the stack of boxes in someone’s arm. And that someone’s arm happened to be Seul. He pressed his lips together while taking the view in front of him with questionable gaze “wow, someone is planning to move in today?” Seul leaned her body against the wall to stabilize herself.

“Jung Hoseok you better make way for me if you don’t have any intention to help!” her faint hollered was muffled behind the stack of boxes.

Hoseok snapped out of his daze and quickly apologized before lending his hand to help the small girl. “What are these Seul? Why are you carrying all of these by yourself?”

“Present from Armys. I claimed it from the management office” he lifted the first box from the pile, groaning at its weight as he carried it inside. Not even half of the burden were lifted off from her and it really annoyed Seul to the core.

“Unbelievable! Are you really going to take one box from…ugh.. Goodness, you are impossible Hobi!” she nagged. Seul struggled out of her converse and entered the place carefully. When she thought she’d been careful enough, her knees buckled due to the extreme loads which did not match her size.

Seul blamed Hoseok for leaving her with the remaining boxes and chose to pick only one from the piles. Ungrateful Sunshine! She mentally groaned in dissatisfaction. Easing the boxes down on the ground carefully, Seul made sure her lower body could withstand the weight for few more minutes.

Her movements grew sloppy and uncoordinated “Ouff…” without warning, she screeched loudly garnering everyone’s attention. Seul stumbled forward and crashed on top of pile of boxes. To make it sounded humiliating, her face was buried inside one of the boxes and she had to literally hold her breath from sniffing the goodie bags inside.

“Seul?” “Seul what happen!” “Seul-seul are you okay?!” heavy footsteps could be heard from every corner. It seemed like everyone was in rush to the crime scene. A hand reached out to her arms, pulling her from inside the box and examining her body to find scratches on her skin.

Jin patted her cheeks, looking frantic “Did you get hurt anywhere?” finding herself breathless due to the small accident, she finally expelled a soft sigh along with small chuckle.

“Sorry. I am okay, I didn’t mean to worry-Yah Kim Seokjin” she was pulled into Jin’s warm embrace baffling everyone in the room. The members were snickering sarcastically, judging dramatic Jin throwing shades on him.

She palmed his chest, pushing the latter away from her body to create some space for both of them to breathe. “Aren’t you being a little too dramatic?” Jin shot her a disapproval look and trailed her gaze to the rest of the members who had their usual bitch-hands-off-her look across their face.

He knocked the top of her head with his knuckle “ Yah Kim Seokjin? Where is your Jin Oppa? Aren’t you being too informal? ” her nose scrunched up in disgust and turned to others seeking for morale support. Namjoon opened his arm welcoming Seul in his embrace. He grinned widely until the dimple appeared. She rushed to his arms, as Namjoon enfolded his long arms around her earning low protest from the floor.

“Since when you are so touchy with Seul?” said the maknae bitterly.

Jimin shook his head frantically “I cant.. handle more competition. Don’t fall for hyunggie Seul-ah!” he snorted with his whiny voice. She refused to entertain the whiny baby and sealed her mouth until then. The more she showed her response, the longer she had to watch these boys irrelevant mouth fight.

Namjoon paid no attention to others and rubbed her arms urging Seul to come with him to his room “Where are you bringing her?!” Jin shouted from the living room watching their body slowly disappeared from his vicinity. Yoongi rolled his eyes, escaping the commotion to his room.

 -------------------

Seul spent two hours in Namjoon’s room watching English shows though she barely survived throughout the shows, Namjoon was kind and patient enough to translate some difficult terms for her. Hoseok and Jimin would come to check on them every five minutes until the couple had enough and decided to lock the door.

The first 10 minutes, Jin pounded on the door like a mad man demanding the leader to return Seul back to them or else they would call help to open the door. The guys seemed to have so much time in hand today that they chose to pick on Namjoon and Seul instead of minding their own business.

After wasting his energy in persuading Namjoon and Seul unlocking the door, Kim Seokjin gave up and finally they could find some peace.

Nibbling on her chips halfway, she dropped the remaining on her lap as she pointed at the screen with a soft gasp “ Is it even ethical to kill someone and get away from it?!” Namjoon chuckled softly and hummed a soft yes.

“This is so fucked up!” Seul threw her arms in the air and rubbed her pounding head. He flicked his eyes up and down before his left brows shot up in either surprise or disapproval of  Seul’s choice of words “Language. You have been spending too much time with Yoongi hyung” flicking her forehead lightly, the girl pouted in protest.

Namjoon’s forehead creased into a frown “ It is called ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ for this reason duh. The title itself already give away the idea of the story. You are being a drama queen” she curled up beside him and brought her attention back to the television screen.

“I know, but it doesn’t make any sense. If I were Wisse Gribbins, I would tell the police and leave his friends to deal with their own problem”

“It is Wes Gibbins. You sounded so Korean” he corrected and let out an amused laugh. She smacked his forehead softly, scowling in disapproval “The last time I checked, I am Korean, Rap Monster-ssi” he cringed at the way how she called him by his stage name. It was his first time to hear it from Seul and for some reason it created a huge gap in between those words. Unfriendly, yes that was it.

“That sounds even horrible. Just stick with Namjoon. Rap Monster-ssi doesn’t fit you” he glared down at her and ran his fingers in her hair out of habit.

“But, I meant to ask something… Just your view, tell me honestly alright? I have been thinking to change my stage name” he bit his lower lips as if in deep thought.

The corner of her lips pursed up as she nodded “To what? Joonie? O-ri?” he scoffed.

“Joonie is too cute! Stop bringing up O-ri, I am so over my Hiphop Monster figurine which resembles a duck, ugh now I have to live with that”

Seul tilted her head, thinking deeply before responding “ Jji-Mon! (RipMon)” clasping her hand together, her eyes twinkled in happiness as if she just won the big prize of the night.

Namjoon stared at her blankly trying to brain Seul’s words. He regained back his ability to talk not long after.

“What in the world? How did you know about that! It was long time ago, and I thought you weren’t a fan Seul. Or are you secretly my fan since start but you got to hide it because you are too shy to admit it?” he drew his own conclusion annoyed the hell out of her.

Sneering sarcastically, she poked his forehead returning Namjoon to his original position as he had moved a little too close to her “I saw the concept trailer, whereby you and Jimin had to rip off your shirt. You really are a true god of destruction; how could you rip it off at once when Jimin’s shirt was looking fine after the deed, unlike you. Tsk, Rap Monster-ssi” she teased.

“That was wardrobe malfunction. Stop using that against me. I won’t ask your opinion for my stage name anymore, you are a true Army, what do I expect? You will make me use those funny nicknames”

“Hey! I am not your Army. And those nicknames aren’t that bad. I found it is entertaining” he chuckled lightly.

“Alright you are not my Army. However, you are our girl. So, let’s get back to our main topic, shall we? About my stage name. I am thinking of making it official. Instead of using Rap Monster, I want to use RM. What do you think about it?”

Seul beamed “RM sounds professional and cool!”

“And, Rap Monster sounded unprofessional?” he scratched his head.

“I didn’t say that. Rap Monster is good but now that you are moving forward and become bigger, I think RM suits you better though I prefer Namjoon over anything, no offence. But, Rap Monster sounds too teenager-ish to me. I like RM. I am sure Armys will love it too” she patted his head with light giggle.

He chortled “Teenager-ish. That makes sense. I am no longer the Rap Monster who wrote childish lyrics, I wish to be better and thorough in producing music. Do you think Armys will be okay with RM?” he expressed his concern. In all honesty, Namjoon did not want to screw things up especially when it involved Armys. Every decision that he’s about to make, he would put Armys in his thought.

“Joon, your fans will love it. Remember they love you just as much as you love them. Trust them. You are worrying too much. Shall we just use Jji-Mon instead?”

“Absolutely no. You are not in charge in this” he pinched her nose, frowning at her small tease.

They jumped in surprised as a loud banging at the door drew their attention momentarily “Kim Namjoon! Ji Seul! Open the goddamn door now or I swear to god I will break it down in 10 seconds!”. Kim Seokjin was screaming at the top of his lungs threatening them once again.

Springing up, she smoothed back her tousled hair and rose from her feet “I will tame the whiny lioness, stop worrying over the stage name. Let Armys know how you feel, it will make you feel better”

“Thank you Seul..I will think about it” a slow smile worked its way across his face. Namjoon knew exactly what he felt right now. And, he made up his mind about the stage name.

“Kim to the Namjoon! Return Seul safely now!” he pounded loudly.

“Ugh Jin is so annoying. Give it a thought alright?” she winked as she hurriedly went to open the door “Coming! You can stop pounding the door now Jinnie!” Seul hollered in response to Jin’s wrath.

 ---------------------

The next day Seul arrived at the boys’ place to work a little later as she had to accompany Mrs Hwang for routine check-up. She went straight to tend her job as soon as she sent her mother back safely. Upon her arrival, the place was empty. They must be out somewhere or most probably at the company practicing for their next tour. In few days they will be leaving Korea and this time it’d be Wings Tour Japan Edition.

In the middle of preparation for their tour, the boys had started going in and out from the studio for their upcoming comeback which was expected to be in September. The second half of 2017 had already drained fifty percent of their energy. Hence, the thought of surviving the rest of the year until their comeback was torturing them.

Seul walked along the hallway, picking up dirty laundry in process while humming to some random songs. She stopped halfway in front of Yoongi’s private study room or more like his mini studio. He had one at the company as well as in their dorm. Yoongi would use either one of his genius lab depending on his mood. However, most of important and private stuffs would be secured in his main genius lab. The one that he had at home was a casual thing, he didn’t really put passwords to the door.

There was a small voice coming from the room, and out of curiosity she pushed the door slowly scanning the room in hope to find familiar faces like Min PD. Smiling to herself, she was over the moon to see Yoongi in his seat engrossed in his work. He didn’t even notice her presence there.

She took the chance to enter the room stealthily just to scare him a little. Chewing on her lower lips, she stifled her giggle settling the dirty laundry outside. Seul crept into Suga’s Genius Lab, shutting the door behind her silently. She stood behind him waiting to jump out or to creep up, startling him.

Seul chose the second options to appear more daring. It was Suga not Jungkook. This guy deserved a little scare just to tame him. To put it off this way made it sounded so wrong. She shook her head to get rid of the weird thought and getting ready to execute her so called guerrilla attack.

Before she could make a move, Yoongi swivelled his chair around facing the girl. Seul gawked in bafflement, giving Yoongi upper hand to pull her into his lap. “Got you” his low voice sounded awfully deep today, and it almost made Seul losing her shits.

“What are yo-“ she struggled to stand up but Yoongi tightened the grip around her torso, running his thumb in circular motion along her waist line.

“I miss you” he murmured.

She softened in his hold. “I miss you too” she encircled her arm around his neck. Seul looked startle by her own action but drawn as he inched close to her face. It was only a matter of time before their lips reunited again. Yoongi brushed his lips against her, holding her cheek in his hand drawing her closer.

He kissed her gently, cradling the back of her head, relishing the feel of her soft hair and delicate bones. Their lips moved in the same rhythm, ravishing each other lips. She stroked his chest, allowing the latter to push his tongue inside dominating this battle.

To be frank, she never expected kissing Min Yoongi would be this hot and it triggered her desire to feel more of it. He roamed his hand around her body, feeling every inch of her covered skin adding the fuel in their already heated moment. Aching for more, they pulled away from the kisses panting for clean air and before she could regain her normal breathing completely, Seul let out a small moan in his earlobe.

She clung to him, emitting a low groan as he sucked on the tender area at the base of her neck. Her voice encouraged him to explore her body further. Yoongi’s temperature rose and he went to kiss her again with so much passion. This time Seul responded to the kisses as passionate as his.

Carefully, he ran his hand to her buttocks switching her position. She straddled him on the seat, her knees on either side of his legs, wrapping herself deliciously close to his body. His fingers fiddle with the button of her blouse, when she made no move to stop him, he took the chance to unbutton them halfway down enough to reveal her chest.

Yoongi breathed softly against her lips and nuzzled her face. Their gaze met as they communicated silently with a single stare that they exchanged. Chewing her lower lips, Yoongi kissed her briefly before running his lips along her jaws. He slipped her hand under her blouse, feeling her tender skin against his hand.

Seul’s body went rigid with surprised as trembled shook her body. The euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more when she felt his hand caressing her chest inching close beneath her cleavage. His lips returned to ravage her neck knowing what it did to her. She arched towards him, holding back the moan in her throat. He nipped at her neck slowly getting harder and more insistent as time passed.

Her hand clutched onto his shoulder for support, as her free hand ran freely in his brown lock. Yoongi’s action rendered her breathless. She unconsciously moved a little creating small friction against the dangerous zone. It was supposed to be untouchable, yet as soon as she heard Yoongi deep groan. She knew she had done something inappropriate to it.

“Darn it Seul” he nibbled on her earlobe as he picked up the confuse girl, making his way to the couch behind them. He laid her down and found himself on top of her. Yoongi was not rushing into doing anything intimate with her, in fact he had been monitoring her response. If she didn’t push him away, meaning he got her permission. Up to this stage, Seul showed no sign of protest.

She slid her hands under his shirt, signalling him to take it off. His breath hitched at the sight of eager Seul beneath him making Yoongi wanted to take her right way. She took a moment to stare at his body without blinking. Seul pictured the image of shirtless Yoongi in her head, admiring his fine body that matched the perfectly milky skin. Yoongi looked effortlessly beautiful without his shirt on.

“You seem impressed baby girl” said Yoongi teasingly.

Her cheeks reddened realizing that she’d been taken a long time to admire the fine man on top of her. However, when Yoongi lips captured her once again in another long and endearing kiss, it washed off all the shyness in her.

She closed her eyes and felt the passion swelling in her. He broke the kisses and looked into her eyes “Baby, tell me when to stop” she was moved by his soft side. Despite in this situation Yoongi put her feelings above his raging hormone.

Nodding with a smile, Seul pulled his neck down and made the first move. She kissed him on the lips, using a little tongue before trailing the kisses to his neck. She knew what was she doing causing the older guy to emit a long moan while his hand gripping her hip.

Chills bumps across her body as Yoongi pressed against her, as he pinned one of her hands abover her head. He interlaced their hand together and he kissed his way down to her chest.  Reaching her back, he unclasped the fabric that had been hiding the beauties in front of him. Seeing Yoongi’s lustful stare, she blushed madly and threw one of her arms to cover the twins from his prying eyes.

Their eyes locked, as he removed her hand uncovering the two beauties. He breathed sharply and mumbled “You are beautiful baby girl. Too beautiful” she anticipated what he’s about to next. She chewed her lips nervously but soon the feeling was taken over by one of the greatest pleasure in her whole life. One at a time, he just kept on and on kissing and sucking on them turning Seul into a moaning mess.

Arching her back, she pushed her chest forward letting him to have them, giving into the pleasure that he gave her willingly. While he’s working on pleasuring her, he unbuttoned the remaining button of her blouse and slipped it off her.

Yoongi held both sides of her abdomen as he moved down, pushing her legs apart. Watching her hesitation, he took the cue to trail his kiss back to her stomach, kissing it all over. He was so gentle with her, every kiss that he showered were made of love.

“Yoongs…where is everyone” she bit her tongue from expelling another loud moan.

Stroking her hips deeply, Yoongi kissed her inner thigh playfully and mumbled against her skin “Out. They won’t be back until tonight” kissing and licking her, he teased her into a frenzy. Seul grabbed the sheets tight, grunting sexily which drove Yoongi mad.

The couple continue undressing each other skilfully.

Clothes scattered on the floor leaving her with only thin fabric covering her most fragile area and so did Yoongi. He glances at her once again seeking for permission. A faint blush crept up her cheeks, and that was enough to convince him that she’s alright with this level of intimacy.

She exhaled as if to steady her nerves when he finally freed her and continued to shower kisses there, earning a deep grunt from Seul. One of her hands was locking his hair, Yoongi worked his way in between with passion.

“Yoongi..” her breath hitched. Seul was reaching her peak and he knew it, just how he intended it to be. Still not stopping, he kept on with his skilful tongue. Her body tense up as she exhaled a deep breath feeling the ecstasy from his sinful tongue love making.

The sensation from his warm tongue drove her insane.

Only soft and erotic groans could be heard across the room. Just how much they longed for each other this way? They were drowned in a sea of lust and love.

 ------------------

Sitting in between Yoongi’s legs, he snuggled her closer to his body. “I want you to listen to this song. It is a demo for our new album” her eyes gleamed in excitement. “Is it alright to let me listen to it? I mean I am not a BTS member” she mumbled confusedly.

“No, it is alright. It is just a rough version of the song. We haven’t confirmed anything yet” Yoongi chuckled softly as he reached out the ipod on the glass table and adjusted the headphones over her ears.

“Ready? Tell me what do you think of it alright?” Seul nodded with a thumb up. His thumb glided over the screen, and the first strain of a smooth alternative hip hop with a light touch of jazz echoed through the headphones. She found herself enjoying the soft beat as her head tilted by its own to right and left in response.

There was not much lyric in it since they may need to come up with new changes now and then. However, she could catch small lines that they already included in the song. It was poetic and catchy.

All of my wonder You’re the answer I call you her, her Cause you’re my tear, tear

Yoong ran his thumb along the side of her waist anticipating Seul’s reaction. He had been working the songs with Namjoon and Hoseok, though the leader had already come up with the full lyrics of the outro, he still had to make sure the beat matched the lyric perfectly.

When the song ended, Seul removed the headphones and turned her head facing the handsome rapper. “That was beyond amazing Yoongi!” she grinned, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He watched the girl cracking his gummy smile “Really? I wanted to submit this last touch to Joon, so he could record the rest of the lyrics” Seul tapped his small nose.

He scrunched his nose cutely “You did great! Can’t wait to hear the full version of the song. I can feel it in my bones that it is going to be my favourite songs from your new album” just by watching her giddiness boosted his confidence.

“Don’t decide that now. There are more cool songs in the album. Wait for it. It is going to be a new side of Bangtan Sonyeondan” he brought her to his arms again, resting his chin on the top of her head.

She nuzzled her face at the crook of his neck “I am with Bangtan till the end” he caressed her hair lovingly and placed a kiss on her head.

“Of course. You are our girl” he soothed her with a deep murmur.

Their girl. Namjoon said the same thing. Her feelings were a mixture of happiness and guilt. Sometimes she was scared of her future though she promised to live the present without worries.

She couldn’t simply wash off this insecurity in her, just because it was impossible to forget. Seul had to handle her present with confidence and face her future with no fear.

Just, never let your fear decide your future.

Yeah, she’s holding onto the principle.

-----------------

“Someone trashed our practice room!”

“The culprit tried to break into Hoseok’s hyung studio, but they didn’t get through it. I bet they or he or she whatever were in rush. They left right after they broke into Joon hyung and Yoongi hyung studios” Jungkook explained to Seul with heavy pant. He was just so mad that his veins started to appear on his skin.

Seul felt angry to hear the news, the girl clenched her teeth together “Did they take anything from the studios?” Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose with a harsh grunt.

“My works were all gone. Those assholes! OUR HARDWORKS WERE ALL GONE! SCREW THIS” he yelled venting his frustration. Namjoon expelled a heavy sigh “They didn’t take anything from my studio, but the equipment was ruined. Ugh, I really want to kill the person who did this” his brow creased and he pressed his lips into a thin line.

“CCTV?” she inquired.

Shaking his head in defeat “Someone tampered with the surveillance camera. The footage was deleted. I had no idea how they entered the building” Seul frowned in disapproval.

“It was odd how they trashed Joon and Hoseok studios but wiped off Yoongi’s works. The furniture and equipment in his room are untouchable. There is no sign of robbery. Could they be after Yoongi?” the eldest of the group spoke up with a deep furrow.

She sent Yoongi a sympathy glance knowing all his hard works being erased overnight, that must be upsetting. Who would do such things to him? Yoongi might appear unfriendly but he would not hurt anyone. He could spit the nastiest remarks on others who provoked his anger, yet that only happened when you tick off the Min Yoongi.

“Did you make any enemy outside? Anyone that rings the bell?” Jimin shifted his gaze back and forth from Jin and Yoongi. Then he pursed his lips, feeling defeated.

Yoongi watched him, while he narrowed his eyes in a deep thought. To think of the possibility, Jin assumption could be right. However, he couldn’t think of any names that could possibly do this to him. After he became a trainee and debuted as BTS member, he rarely got the chance to meet someone new and make new friends.  

He dedicated his life for his work and Bangtan, not that he remembers making any enemy outside. Maybe few people who loathed him from choosing the easiest path to become artiste. It was a long time ago since he used to be an underground rapper. Namjoon and him were hated for being an idol so they had cut off their ties with them. That was the last time they ever met the crews and to think someone would do this to him after years sounded unreasonable.

“We found the culprit! Lets head to the company now!” their manager popped out from nowhere surprising everyone.

“What? How? Who?” Hoseok and Jungkook said in sync, as they were already on their feet.

The tall man nodded while grabbing the keys “He turned himself in. We will get our answers soon. So, let’s go now” Seul eyes widened at the revelation. If the person really turned himself in, then why would he waste his energy to commit those crime.

“Do you want to tag along?” Yoongi touched Seul shoulder “I can make use of your presence beside me, please” his eyes bore into her. Seul hesitated to know she was in no place to be around the boys publicly.

They heard their manager emitted a deep sigh, “Seul, come with us. You may need to stop someone from causing a scene” his eyes were fixated on Yoongi. He knew exactly how the guy would react, Yoongi’s anger was not a joke.

“Sure…” Yoongi grabbed his extra mask and helped to put it on her. It was needed to protect the girl from being exposed to medias or Armys. At least, they might see her as one of the staffs instead of spreading false rumours.

For an odd reason, she didn’t feel good about this. She just couldn’t rid this uneasiness in her. Was she overthinking about the whole thing?

  This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved

[sweetiejunie]

idk if requests are open rn, but an angst/fluff soulmate au with Beomgyu would make me really happy. If requests aren’t open then it’s okay^^

—.✿ฺ—

Rewrite the stars

Summary: you weren’t meant to be together. And it freaked you out. But beomgyu? He’s always been your rock.

Genre: angst, fluff

Beomgyu x reader

A/n: huehue thanks for the request anonie!! First time i wrote a soulmate fic 🥴 but hope u enjoyed! I tried :’)

=====================================

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. Beomgyu watched as you laid in his arms, staring at the red string tied around your pinky. He knew this was wrong. You weren’t supposed to be with him. But he loved you, and you loved him.

It was a fluke that the two of you met. It was a fluke that you fell for each other. But that faithful day he decided to ignore his instincts, was probably the best decision he’s ever made.

You hated that you lived in a world where ‘soulmates’ existed as a concept. You had always thought it was just a social construct, but you can’t ignore the disapproving looks you got while you walked down the streets hand-in-hand with the boy that wasn’t fated to be with you. Why couldn’t the thread be tied around his pinky instead of some stranger you haven’t met? Faith, and the universe, just had to be a bitch.

Beomgyu, on the other hand, he never cared. He loved you, and that was all that mattered to him. Who cares about what others thought about you? Everyone around him told him that it wasn’t right, but nothing ever convinced him. He swore to be by your side no matter what, and it was a promise he planned to keep. On the days when you started to doubt your relationship, he was there. On days when the harsh reality of society got to you, he was there. He was there with you through thick and thin.

“You’re overthinking about the piece of thread again,” he suddenly spoke, knocking you out of your dazed stated when he caught you playing with the string around your left pinky.

You blushed, hiding your hand in a fist as you apologised, “Im sorry.”

“No need to apologise, my love.”

Beomgyu truly was the sweetest. Through all your panic and doubt, he still chose to stay with you and never expected anything in return.

Even the time you almost broke up with him because of everything people were telling you. How you weren’t fated to last or how he was going to leave you once he met his real soulmate. After all this time, that day is still engraved deep in his mind, stuck with him like the plague. After all, the most painful memories are the hardest to forget — the day he almost lost you.

That evening, beomgyu invited you to dinner to meet his parents. You had been dating for a while now, and he thought it was the perfect time for the most important people in his life to finally meet. There was just one small catch, okay, a pretty big catch. Since you weren’t soulmates, his parents weren’t biggest fan of you.

“Why would you agree to that? You know your parents aren’t typically that fond of me. Now you want me to sit barely a feet away from them for, gods knows how many hours?”

“Come on y/n, don’t worry so much. It’ll be fine, and I’ll be with you the whole time, alright?” Beomgyu replied, pouting at you, hoping that tonight would be the night his parents saw just how loving and kind you were. He wanted so badly for you to get along, but that proved to be just a wish.

“Fine, only for you. But don’t you dare leave me.”

As the night went on, beomgyus parents didn’t do anything too out of the ordinary, asking the usual interrogating questions any parent would ask the significant other of their child. But through the night, you had half a mind that every now and then they would glare at you. Then again, you were extremely nervous, so it could have just been you overthinking or your overactive imagination. But the moment beomgyu had excused himself to use the washroom, your suspicions were confirmed.

“Ill just be a second,” he whispered to you as he pushed he chair back.

The moment he was out of sight, his mother spoke, “listen, y/n. I’m going to be frank with you. I think you’re a really nice girl, but i want you to leave beomgyu,” venom evident in every word.

Her statement caught you off guard, and the only respond your brain could process was, “huh?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s clear that you two are not meant to be together. After-all, you aren’t soulmates. No amount of love can fix or change that.” She paused, only to continue when you didn’t reply, “and i just want the best for beomgyu. I’m sure you do too. One day, I want him to be able to find true love without being held back by anything... or anyone.”

Her words rang in your head over and over again. Were you really just a burden to beomgyu? Was he really going to leave you one of these days?

“I- er- Excuse me. Sorry, i have to go. Ill see myself out,” you stated, your head hung low as you hurried to gather your thing. “ Thank you for the dinner.”

You made your way to the front door, clicking it shut behind you. Ignoring the sound of the bathroom door opening and beomgyu’s voice as he called your name. Worried, confused, maybe even desperate. In the minute he left, his entire world had come crashing down in front him.

“What on earth did you say to her?!” He yelled at his parents. But before they could answer, he was sprinting out the door after you.

“Y/n!” He called out, running towards you. “Wait! Please!”

He reached out to grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. When you turned to face him, the tears running down your face were bullets to his heart.

“They’re small minded people,” he began, grabbing your hands, holding them tightly. “Why do you care what they think-”

“It’s not just them,” you interrupted. “It’s everyone.”

“Not me,” his expression soften when he realised you were starting to sob harder. His thumbs running over to back your hands assuringly.

“It may not be written in stone,” he said, referring to the thread tied around his own pinky. “But i know you’re meant to be mine.”

“Beomgyu...” you trailed off. You hated how fate made you question your future with him. You hated how you always put beomgyu in that position. But you couldn’t help it. “No one ever looked at you the way your parents looked at me. But they’re right, you and i, this isn’t meant to happen. Eventually, you would find your true soulmate. Isn’t it better we end it now, before it’s too late and one of us ends up getting hurt?”

He stood there, staring into your eyes. His grip on your hands never faulted, afraid that if let you go, he’ll never see you again. A millions thoughts ran through his head, but all of them wasn’t the right thing to say. All, expect one.

“I- i love you,” he chocked out.

“Beomgyu...“

“No, don’t. I can see it in your eyes that you love me too. Isn’t that enough? I promised to be by your side. What matters the most is what we think. And we love each other, thats more than what others can ever say about us. Just because this stupid string says we’re not supposed to be together, doesn’t mean we can’t still write out own ending. Don’t leave me, please.”

“But beomgyu, they’re your parents.”

“I dont give a shit. If they can’t accept me and whatever and whoever i love then... then that’s their problem.”

You couldn’t speak, chocking on your sobs as you looked into his eyes. You pulled him in for a hug, and that was all the response he needed before hugging you back.

Bringing himself back to the present, he smiled, admiring the sight in front of him as you stared up at the clouds. Since that day, the road with you was no where near a smooth ride. But from the moment he saw you, he knew that you may not be fated to be with him, but he had to love you with everything he had, for as long as he can.

The journey to be with you may have been long and difficult, but he was glad it was so tough. Cause if he hadn’t gone through hell to get there, he might not have learnt the lessons he did. And he would carry those lessons with him. He loved you through all the hard times, every stupid fight, every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came your way. And he would continue to do that, until the very end. Admittedly, beomgyu didn’t know what the futures holds for either of you. But he knew that it included you.

.

.

.

=====================================

Hope you liked this! Not completely happy with this but thought it was still worth posting. I tried ㅠㅠ

Masterlist

[naptoons]

May I ask for an imagine of Brandon making a song about you cause he misses you during quarantine :(

Big bet I got you, I love these cheesy concepts.

Butterflies - Brandon Arreaga

Summary: Brandon has been missing you so much during this whole shutdown, so to ease his need to have you next to him, he writes and produce a song solely about you.

Warning(s): Nothing Fluff is all

A/N: so I wrote a song/poem for someone long time ago cause I had a crush on them but I ended up not giving it too them lol so I’ll put it too use.

Proofread: yes/no

Laying on your bed, you went through the pictures of you and Brandon, you were reminiscing on all the good times you spent with him, pressing on the pictures to hear what happened in the background, smiling everyone you heard Brandon yelling “that’s my girl!!” Or “damn you look really good” as you were going to text Brandon his caller Id popped up to FaceTime you.

“I was just thinking about you” you state, seeing his smile appear followed by the giggle you’d always melt over, you watch him fix his hair for what seemed like the third time.

“You’re just everlastingly perfect” Brandon’s voice hits a lower octave, rolling my eyes You hear his soft scoff “aye none of that! You’re beautiful end of discussion okay?”

You scrunch my nose up “but I didn’t even say anything!”

“Baby, I’ve been with you for a year, I know all your facial expressions” Brandon fights you on your debate, he licks his lips moving his bangs out of his face.

“I wish you would’ve dyed your highlights that color, you’d look even hotter” you state, grunting as you get up from your bed walking towards the kitchen. You hear nothing for him after your sentence so you looked back at him just to see his dazed orbs on you. “Jesus Brandon it’s been a year and you’re still zoning out while looking at me?”

“You act like I’m still not nervous by your presence y/n, you’re beautiful to me no matter how long we’ve been together”

“You’re going to still say that when I’m covered in wrinkles?”

“Fuck yeah, wrinkles don’t stop your beauty” he laughs, You grab a bowl for ice cream then open the freezer. “What you’ve been up to babygirl tell me about your day”

“Oh just looking at pictures of us and missing you even more, I also broke a nail” you show him the band-aid wrapped around your index finger. Brandon pouts at your injury and adorable you are.

“Aw my baby I’m sorry about your finger, how’d that happened?” Brandon softens, his fave coming closer to the screen giving his undivided attention to you.

“I bought new furniture to decorate my room” You pout

You guys spent quite some time talking hearing what one another has done for the day, you guys ended up watching a horror movie together, which made you slightly mad at Brandon, knowing full well that you couldn’t sleep without him around to hold you after a horror movie. But here you were in bed three hours later falling asleep.

“I won’t leave, I’ll stay until you fall asleep babygirl, stop fighting it” Brandon laughs slightly

“Wouldn’t be in this situation if we didn’t watch it, you’re just a sadist” you mumble, only fueling his laughter even more, you turn your back towards the camera hugging the teddy bear he bought you.

“Aw pretty girl, look at me I’m sorry” Brandon pouts, you look at him over your shoulders seeing him take off his sweatshirt “I’m sorry babygirl, let me see your face beautiful” Brandon’s voice sounding serious.

“Fine only cause you’re adorable, and I need to sleep” which makes Brandon beam bigger, you saw him sitting in front of a computer, sighing you just knew he was constantly working, but this time he was working on something for you. Brandon looked over once again to see your eyes were closed. His smile growing the more he wrote and erased, changed the beats on his laptop, strummed his guitar. He was determined it be perfect. Not only for his sake, but for you. He wanted to let you know you’re loved. And those kind gestures doesn’t stop after he asked you out. It was for a lifetime.

The next morning you woke up to your phone constantly vibrating, confused you thought your phone would’ve died from how long you were on FaceTime for, but it turns out you put it on the charger while talking to Brandon. Pressing the lockscreen you see you’ve been tagged in so many posts. So many twitter mentions. Did Brandon post a screenshot of you from FaceTime last night? Ignoring it you thought to yourself it wasn’t the first time he’s done something like that. Walking towards the bathroom, more and more notifications ringed.

Curious to know you walked back swiping on of the mentions, and typed in your passcode.

“ Just when you thought their relationship couldn’t get any cuter!!! 🥺 @y/n @brandon_arreaga STREAM IT GUYS!! “ you read one tweet. You favorited it then moved onto the next one.

“The beginning of the song starts off with her giggles when he visited her from tour......I’m soft dont touch me😩😩😩😩 go stream this people @y/n @brandon_arreaga” you favorited a couple of tweets, sliding down your notifications you stumble open his SoundCloud that he’s uploaded something. The cover art was a picture of you two on your first date. the Polaroid picture that is in his wallet till this day. Turning on your speaker you press play.

The intro was just as they said, you giggle when he came and visited you with your favorite flowers, you were crying if pure happiness. The guitar strings comes in right after you said “I love you”

‘Babygirl, got a heart like a garden, but she’s too scared to ever let it bloom’

‘Don’t wanna cave into love if it’s to soon,but she’s the girl I pray about to the moon’

Your eyes started to welt up in tears, he wrote a song for you? He used to love singing to you and still does, but now he gets to sing a song for you.

‪‘She doesn’t realize the pull she has on me‬

‪Honey golden eyes that just melts on me‬

‪A fragile sunflower in the garden sweep by the sea’ ‬

‪‘No matter what the tides bring, you gotta know you’re still my baby’ his soft voice brings the tears down your cheeks, after the song was done, an audio was played at the end, you remember exactly what it was. The day Brandon took you out to watch the lanterns. ‬

‪“I’ve never been this deep in love, ain’t these like the butterflies your mom tells you to run away from?” You hear you’re voice ask ‬

‪“Yeah, doesn’t mean they’re dangerous, just means you’ve found the right one, and you know they are, cause everytime you see them the butterflies just won’t stop” ‬

‪Smiling you wiped you face, calling Brandon on facetime, in a matter of a minute he answered seeing you wipe your face with his hoodie sleeve. “Hey babylove you okay?, what happened?” Brandon’s voice honeyed in on you, making you miss him even more.‬

‪“your song is happened” you choke through‬

‪Brandon feeling a sigh of relieve giggles through the phone “god you really are beautiful, I’ve missed you so much so I thought I’d write a song about how much I loved you” ‬

‪You heard your doorbell ring in the background “give me a minute baby” you tell Brandon, clearing your throat you walk across your wooden floor towards the front door, unlocking it there he stood, with his sultry eyes, he pulled his mask off to show you his beautiful smile. “And drove all the way here just to see you” in one hand he held a self care basket for you and his overnight clothes. In the other was his hand on your lower back, while your tears fell on his shoulders.‬

‪“I’m here baby” Brandon mumbles kissing your neck, backing away you let him in, as your dog runs and jumps on his legs “oh hey princess/prince I’ve missed you” he coos at your dog, placing the basket on your kitchen counter and his overnight bag on the living room floor.‬

‪“You’re staying baby?” You pout ‬

‪“Yeah, you thought I was just coming by and not staying? You’re crazy” Brandon chuckles you run over to him but this time he catches you his fingers hooking underneath your thighs.‬

‪“I love you so much” Brandon mumbles softly on your skin, kissing every part of visible flesh his lips can reach. Giggling you roam your fingers through his hair.‬

‪“I love you more”‬

[katefiction]

Breaking Up

by katefiction (Maria) / 2012

Will parked up outside Kate’s Chelsea flat. A couple of hours earlier she’d text him, ‘can you come over, we need to talk x’, it said. Just one ‘x’ at the end, Will had thought, she must be angry. So he hadn’t called her for two days, it wasn’t a big deal.

Will let himself into the flat. Kate had given him a key when she moved there. He walked through the hall and into the kitchen, where Kate was standing boiling the kettle.

‘You want one?’ She asked.

‘What, no “hello”? I haven’t spoken to you in two days!’, Will replied, laughing.

‘And whose fault is that?’ She mumbled back.

Will opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of annoying her further, so simply replied ‘Yeh, a tea would be nice’.

They settled into the living room once the tea was made. There had been no kiss or hug, and Will was beginning to wonder what was going on.

‘I think we should break up’, Kate said as soon as they sat down.

‘What?’ Will said, in shock,

‘Don’t act so surprised, you knew this was coming’ Kate replied softly.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Kate. What’s going on?’ Will touched her leg to try to comfort her, but she shifted in her seat.

Kate’s eyes began to well up. She had told herself not to cry, that this was the right thing to do.

‘I’m…I’m just not happy’ She said.

‘Well we can sort that out, what can I do? Is it the stuff with my family? I thought you were ok with waiting to get engaged?’ The words rushed out of William’s mouth.

‘I dont want to get engaged!’ Kate said, angrily. ‘And it’s not your family, Will, it’s you’ She said, a tear falling down her cheek. Will was silent, he thought they were happy together.

‘You don’t care about my life, not really’ Kate said, back in control of her emotions. ‘Just let me speak Will’, she said as Will tried to deny her accusation.

‘Take last week’ she said. ‘You called me at work to ask me to meet you in the afternoon, and I was working that day’.

‘I didn’t know you were working, did I?!’ Will yelled, angry that she was making a big deal of that.

‘That’s the whole point Will! You don’t have a CLUE about my life or schedule, or which days I’m working! I know every single detail of your schedule, and you can’t even be bothered to ask me about mine!’

She was on a roll now.

‘I come to your stupid polo matches that I’m not even interested in, just because I know I’ll never see you otherwise. I take an interest in every part of your life. But YOU, no YOU are far to busy to call me, or text me, or ask me how I am!’

‘That’s not true, Kate, you knew this would be hard. I do my best’ He said, teeth gritted.

Kate stood up and took a breath turning from him. She had pictures of the two of them all over the living room. On holidays, with friends, at home. Pictures everywhere. She realised she’d have to take them all down.

‘I’m moving back home’ She admitted finally. She was dreading telling him that she’d quit her job and was moving back to Berkshire to work for the family. It would mean they’d be even further away.

‘And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?’ Will said, furious now.

‘We’re living separate lives anyway’ She whispered.

‘Fine.’ Will slammed the mug of tea onto the coffee table and stormed out of the flat.

***

Kate sat in the middle of her bedroom, clothes spread out all around her in messy piles. She sat staring at the wall.

‘Kate, what the…?’ Kate jumped as her mother walked in. ‘Did you just empty the contents of your suitcases all over the floor?’ Carole said, shaking her head at the mess.

It had been two weeks since Kate had told William that she was moving back to Bucklebury. In that time, she had been living in a daze, going back and forth to London, emptying her things from her Chelsea flat; and working her notice at Jigsaw.

Kate shrugged, not really taking in what her mother had said. Carole knelt beside her daughter. ’Look, I know you’re hurting, but you need to pick yourself up.’

‘How?’ Kate chocked on the word, her eyes filling with tears.

Carole stroked Kate’s hair from her face, ‘Well we can start with this room’, she smiled, ‘and then tomorrow , you can start work at the office.’

‘I guess I should keep busy’, Kate agreed, her voice coming back.

‘Exactly – now how about we start with throwing this old thing out’, Carole said, holding up a large purple polo shirt.

‘No!’, Kate grabbed the shirt. She may have been ready to start putting herself back together, but she wasn’t ready to throw Will’s polo shirt out. She decided her mother didn’t need to know who’s shirt it was just yet.

                                               *****

The next morning, Kate pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt, and pulled her hair back. She couldn’t be bothered with make up today. In fact, she hadn’t been bothered about making any effort with her looks since leaving Will.

She walked into the kitchen where her dad was sitting at the breakfast bar, ‘oh, you’re up early’, he said, folding his newspaper in half and tucking it under his arm.

‘Yeh, I’m going to work’, she replied eyeing up the newspaper. ‘Dad, why are you hiding that paper under your arm?’

‘Urmmm, no reason’ He was a terrible liar.

Kate raised her eyebrow.

‘Ok, it’s just a stupid story about you’ he said ‘it’s nothing to worry about’.

Kate sighed, she still wasn’t used to the media attention. ‘What does it say Dad, just tell me.’

‘Well news of the break up is out, they’re claiming it was William who ended things’ Michael said nervously.

Kate closed her eyes. ‘You know what Dad, starting today, I’m not gonna read this stuff’, she said, resolve strong in her voice. ‘I don’t want to see any of it’. She grabbed the paper from under his arm and threw it into the recycling.

                                          ******

Kate spent the next week working at Party Pieces. On the outside, she seemed to be coping. She was sticking to her promise to herself not to read any stories about her or Will. But on the inside, she was suffering. Will hadn’t been in contact since that day he stormed out of the flat. She had text him telling him that she was sorry about how it had happened and saying she hoped they could be friends, but she’d had no reply.

At night she had often spent the early hours sobbing, while clutching that polo shirt. His smell had long since left it, but it still comforted her.

                                              ***

‘You know, he’s probably missing you just as much’, he friend Alice told her over the phone one evening.

‘Why, what have you heard?’, Kate said, trying to sound casual.

Alice giggled, ‘nothing, babe, I haven’t heard anything! Listen, did you get your invite to Sam’s party thing tomorrow?’ She said, changing the subject.

‘Yehhh’ Kate replied.

‘Well he was wondering if you were coming’

‘Of course not! William’s going to be there!’ Kate said indignantly.

‘But you’re missing him right?’ Alice replied, ‘Don’t you want to see him?’

‘Yes, of course I do, but he clearly doesn’t want to see me. I think it really hurt him, splitting the way we did.’

‘Ok, but you need to get out of that house!’ Alice teased. Kate had become somewhat of a recluse.

‘For your information, I’m going out to the pub tonight’, she said with mock pride.

‘With who?’

‘Urm, my parents’, she said twirling her hair.

‘For….?’ Alice enquired.

‘A pub quiz’, Kate said sheepishly.

Alice laughed, ‘you really are living on the edge, aren’t you?’

                                *****

It seemed the whole of Bucklebury was at the pub that night and Kate found that with the support of her friends and neighbours, she was enjoying herself for the first time in weeks.

‘Ok! Question four!’ the quiz master boomed, ‘who is currently second in line to the British throne?’

Kate’s face flushed and her parents looked round at her, worried at her reaction. She gave them a reluctant smile, and wrote down ‘Prince William’.

                               ***

At home that night as Mike and Carole complained to each other about the pub’s insensitive choice of question, Kate went straight to her room.

She realised it had been two and a half weeks since she had vowed to not read any press stories, and she had decided that it was long enough. She had neither read, or heard anything from friends about what William had been doing. She was so used to knowing his schedule that this was hard to deal with.

Sitting on her bed, she loaded up her laptop, and clicked into Google News. For the second time that night, she wrote ‘Prince William’, and hit the search button.

The first result hit her like a punch in the gut. The headline ‘Wills’ night with mystery blonde’ blared out at her. She clicked on the result leading her to the Sun website, which showed pictures of William dancing with a blonde girl in a club, his hands all over her. The byline read: ‘all thoughts of Kate Middleton disappear as Wills declares “I’m free!”’

Kate slammed the lid down, her heart was racing. ‘How could I be so stupid?’ she thought, ‘did I actually believe he was missing me?’ Holding the tears back, she thought of herself telling Alice how she believed William was hurting. She felt like a fool, and her anger began to rise.

There she was hiding away, barely dressing up for work, wondering if she had done the right thing, when William was out partying, and letting everyone believe that HE broke it off. She was no fool, but he was making her look like one.

She paced the room, furious now, before finally picking up the phone and punching in the contact. The call was answered in seconds, and Kate didn’t hesitate,

‘Alice? I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to that party.’

***

ate stood in front of the mirror and inspected her outfit. With her decision to go to the party being so last minute, it was the best she could do.

‘You out to break some hearts tonight?’ Alice said, strolling into the bedroom.

The purple knit dress an a scooped neckline and went to her knees. She topped it off with a black cropped jacket. ’It’ll do’ Kate retorted.

‘And I suppose your choice has nothing to do with Will being there tonight to enjoy it?’ Alice laughed.

‘William won’t be enjoying anything’, Kate snapped back.

Since calling Alice that night after discovering pictures online of Will dancing with a mystery blond, she had travelled to Oxfordshire from Bucklebury, and landed on Alice’s doorstep. But her anger had not subsided.

She applied the finishing touches to her make up, and with Alice, left for the party, knowing that she would have to face Will for the first time in weeks.

                                                ***

Thirty minutes later, and Alice had pulled up onto the make shift car park in a field on the Upton Viva estate, where Sam’s party was being held inside the manor. As Kate jumped out of the car, her heel sunk into five centremetres of mud.

‘Great! Just great!’ She grumbled.

‘It’s just a bit of mud, Kate!’ Alice teased.

‘I’ll remind you of that when you’re about to see your ex and are trying to look composed!’ she huffed.

Alice helped to pull her out of the mud. ‘You’ll be fine, babe. He won’t know what’s hit him’, she reassured her.

They walked up to the house where the party had already started. The ground floor hall was full of colour and sound, and a variety of Sam’s friends. Kate instinctivly began to scan the room for any sign of Will, when Sam jumped into her eyeline, ’You came!’ he said, bouncing towards her and giving her a peck on each cheek ‘you both look shhhplendid’.

He was clearly drunk, but Kate was delighted to see him and reconnect with those friends that had had to choose between her and Will after the break up. The truth was, most of them chose Will.

‘He’s in the living room’ Sam said with a wink, noticing her scanning the room again.

‘Thanks’ she blushed, as he bounced off to greet another guest. She hoped to God she didn’t look desperate as she felt.

‘I’m gonna get some food’ she told Alice, pointing to the kitchen.

‘Alright, I’ll be around if you need anything…Oh, and Kate…chin up’, she said, giving her a warm smile

As she walked to the kitchen, she glanced into the large living room, where loud music was blaring. There in the corner of the room, was Will, chatting to two of his friends. He looked up, and for a brief second,caught her eye, before she looked away, and rushed down the hall.

Kate hurried into the kitchen, which had food to choose from on every surface. She was breathing hard, trying to compose herself. Reaching for a bread stick, she took a deep breath.

‘I didn’t know you were coming tonight’, a voice said behind her. She whipped around, and saw Will standing just behind her.

‘Try not to look so disappointed’ She said, turning her back to him again. She felt him move in even closer.

‘Kate, don’t be like that, can we go somewhere and talk?’

‘About what?’ She said, aggressively dipping the bread stick in a dip.

‘About…everything’ Will said.

‘I have nothing to say’ Kate said, lying through her teeth. She moved to the left to try to get past him, but he stepped in front of her. She went right, and he did the same again.

‘Will, move!’

‘No.’

Kate was in no mood for games and pushed him to the side with her arm and walked out of the kitchen.

Entering the living room where Will had just been, she busied herself by greeting some friends. She found a spot to hide away in the corner, next to Will’s friend, Tom.

‘You looked like you’ve seen a ghost’ Tom noted.

‘Not quite’ Kate smiled ‘But thanks, good to know I look like crap!’

‘Oh, shush! Come on, you need to blow off some steam’, he said as he stood up, reaching his hand out to her. Kate took his hand and they made their way to the centre of the room to dance. The music was loud and fast. Kate had no idea what it was, but being twirled around the dance floor did the trick of relaxing her. Tom dipped her backwards and Kate let out a raucous laugh, just as William re-entered the room. He stopped in his tracks, darting his eyes between Tom and Kate.

‘What the hell are you playing at?’ Will snarled at Tom.

‘Just a dance mate’ Tom replied, patting him on the back. William shoved Tom backwards in return.

‘William!’ Kate shouted, pushing William away from Tom and staring him dead in the eyes. ‘Apologise. Now.’

William’s chest rose and fell sharply, trying to calm down, but he kept silent. Kate pushed through the crowd of people that were watching and hurried out of the house. Once out on the front lawn, she pulled her phone from her jacket pocket;

‘I need to go. Waiting by the car x’ she typed, and sent the message to Alice. She began walking to the car, squinting in the dark to find it, when she heard footsteps behind her.

‘Kate!’ William called as he jogged up behind her. ‘Wait, where are you going?!’

She carried on walking.

‘Would you stop and be mature about this?’, he called, catching up to her. Kate stopped suddenly, span around and crashed into William full on.

’Me be mature?!’ she screamed at him, ‘ME!?’

’Alright, I’m sorry, it just got to me’ Will said, relieved that she had stopped.

Kate laughed, ‘And I suppose pictures of you touching up that girl all over the internet is fine, is it?’

Will’s face dropped, ‘It’s not what it looked like’

’Don’t take me for an idiot, William. I have been stuck in my house, not going out. Not saying a word to anyone. For you! I thought I might get an ounce of respect in return!’

’YOU broke up with ME, remember?’ Will said, suddenly angry. ‘I should be the one who’s pissed off.’

Will may have been angry, but Kate was furious now. ‘You let the world believe that you ended things, then you go out to celebrate your new single life. What, was that your revenge?!’

Will rubbed his forehead ‘Look, I was trying to protect you, the media would leave you in peace eventually if they thought I broke it off.’

’What are you saying?’ Kate asked, dreading what was coming.

’I had it leaked that I dumped you’ he answered, staring at the ground.

’You did what?’ She whispered.

’I did it for you’

’Bullshit! You did it for yourself and your image. You couldn’t care less about what happens to me!’

’Of course I do’ he said, reaching out to hold her arm, but Kate snatched it away.

’Don’t you dare touch me! If you cared, you would have answered my texts, you would have checked to see if I was ok, you would have warned me about those pictures! But you did nothing! It just goes to show I made the right decision’

’Don’t say that’ Will pleaded. ‘I’ve missed you, Kate, we can deal with this’

’It’s too late’, she said, her anger turning into sadness. She looked him in the eyes. ‘I need someone I can trust, who will be there for me no matter what’

’I can. I will’ Will said.

’It’s over, Will’ she said with more certainty than she’d felt in months, and turned around to walk away. As she took a step into the mud, he heel once again plunged through the earth.

’Let me help’ Will said immediately, trying to pull her out, but she resisted;

’I can do it by myself!’ she said pulling away forcefully. As she did, she lost her balance and fell side first into the mud.

Just as Will extended his hand to help her up, Alice came running up behind him.

‘What is going on!? What have you done to her’ she said, aiming her anger at William.

‘Nothing! She fell’

‘It’s fine Alice, it was my stupid heel again’ she said as she accepted Alice’s hand and stood up, mud covering her dress. ‘I got your text, do you need some time?’ Alice said, glancing between them.

‘No, we’re done here’ Kate was looking straight at Will.

‘You sure?’ Alice asked.

‘Certain’ Kate said, fixing her gaze on William. ‘I’m done.’

With that, covered in mud, she turned around, and finally walked away, leaving William standing alone in the dark.

[notdeadyetnatural]

Hey! So i took a swing at writing again, my friend keeps telling me i'll never get better if i don't practice, so here i am writing fanfiction instead of studying for finals. 

I have so many headcanons about team free will, but one of them is that the brothers have, on several occasions, pretended to be girls husbands or boyfriends to get creepy dudes to stop hitting on them. I also think, that since Castiel is an angle, he would know much more about said creepy dudes, and he might take it a step further than the brothers are able to.

Anyway, i hope you enjoy. Feedback is deeply appreciated! 

(Also, really quick. If anyone wants to take this idea and make their own story/fic, feel free to! I only wrote it cause i couldn't find any fics like it. If you do write a fic/story using this idea, please tag me! I would love to read it!)

-------

The first time it happens was after a particularly frustrating hunt. 

Sam, Dean, and Cas, had spend the past 3 weeks trying to find out what was killing local witches. Sam had gotten the call from an old wiccan friend of his, saying that witches all around the county had been turning up dead, and all signs point to something supernatural.

It turns out there was the spirit of an seventeenth century priest attempting to carry out ‘god's will.’ Cas had informed him that he had been severely misinformed if he thought this is what his father wanted, and then punched him in the face with an iron ring. 

“You sure you don't want us to give you a ride? That car of yours doesn’t look like its got much time left.” Dean said to Alta, the wiccan that informed them of the killings. Saying her car had been destroyed by the spirit was putting it lightly. 

“Im good Winchester. Keep in touch Sam! I don't want to go another 6 years before talking again!” Alta replied before getting in to what could only be described as death on wheels.

After walking back to the Impala, which was lucky parked a block and a half away (Dean had learned along time ago not to bring his Baby into the strike zone of a vengeful spirit) Cas still had not said anything but a polite goodbye to Alta. “Are you sure your okay, Cas? Judging from the dent in that oak, Mr. God's Will didn't throw you gently.” 

Castiel shrugged, then nodded. His grace was not low, but he’d rather use it to heal rather than fight now days. Getting thrown through a window wasn't as easy for the winchesters as it used to be. Dean gave him a quick glance, obviously not believing him, but did not push the subject any further.

“Well, i'm starving. There’s this cool looking place over near downtown, they had a sign saying half off drinks on saturdays, so maybe we can get Mr. frowny face over here to lighten up.” Dean said, unlocking the car. Sam agreed, and they were off. 

It wasn't that Castiel was hurt, but cases involving his father always got him in a bad mood. The way meany of the monsters they hunted would use god as an excuse for their own hateful agenda made him angry beyond belief. 

So maybe he could blame that night on the anger. 

The place  Dean had mentioned was much bigger that they were used to, but still had the home-town vibe. It was an open space, with a large bar in the corner and tables soroung a fair sized dance floor. If it had been any other night of the week, Dean would have been surprised to see so meany people. But it was saturday around nine, so it was to be expected. 

They ordered some food, a burger for Dean, salad for Sam. Cas got himself a drink and sat down with the brothers. 

“Cas, Cas! Buddy, you sure your okay?” Dean asked him. Maybe Cas was a little more out of it than normal, but only because he was suppressing so much anger. He had also been eying a women in sitting at the bar who looked so uncomfortable, she could slide out of her own skin.

“Im okay Dean. Really.”

“If you say so. Im going to go get some more drinks, you guys want anything?” 

“Just a refill” Sam responded, and Cas shook his head. Dean walked over to the opposite end of the bar than the women, who now looked to be more sad than anything. A man, who Castiel assumed to be her boyfriend, shouted something before storming out of the bar. She looked a little dazed, but other than that okay. Cas focused back on his drink.

“What did you think of Alta?” Sam said. 

“What?”

“I said, what did you think of Alta? Are you okay man? You really do seem out of it, we can go back to motel if we need to.”

“No, no. There's no need for that. I promise im okay. Just thinking about the case.” Cas said the last part with a notable sadness. 

“You think we missed something?”

“Definitely not. Nothing like that is going to continue happening to those people.” Cas stated. He hesitated before continuing, Dean was still waiting at the bar. “I just... None of the witches were bad. I don't understand why this priest would think my father would want him to kill them, especially in such a brutal way.” Sam winced at the memory. All the body's had seemed more like executions than murders. The last couple especially gruesome.

“Well, you say it all the time yourself. We got a lot wrong, misinterpreting, mistranslating...” Sam trailed off. Humans really did get it wrong most of the time. “A lot of people use religion as an excuse to hate. I think that's part of the reason Dean has rejected it so much.” 

Cas thought back to the poorly hidden annoyance in Deans tone talking about this case, and what the priest thought. 

Before Castiel could say anything else, Dean walked back over with three drinks. “I don't need anything Dean.” Cas said as Dean handed him a glase. 

“I know, but i've been trying to find one of these for you to try for a while now, and we are finally at a place that sells em” Dean said with a smile on his face. It was clear that the man was just trying to cheer Castiel up, but the gesture made Cas a little happier.

“Thank you, Dean” Cas said. 

Halfway through the fruity drink Dean had brought him, Castiel noticed the women in the corner again. She had gone from sad and alone, to scared and with someone. Around the time she started hyperventilating, Cas set his drink down. 

“Cas? Buddy, where are you going?” Dean asked him, but his voice was muted. The women was trying to get away now, but the man wasn't letting go. Cas sped up. He was about three quarters of the way there, when he saw the mans hand go somewhere the women clearly did not want it to be, and a bottle to the left of him cracked with his anger.

He made it over to where the women was sitting, and put two fingers to the mans forehead. 

Time works differently, when you are an angle. Sometimes centuries seem like seconds, others, seconds lasted years. As Castiel held his fingers on the man, he saw what he had done. What he would continue to do.

And maybe he had had a bit more to drink than he told the bothers, maybe it was the left over anger about the case. Maybe it was simply Castiel. But that man would never hurt someone again. 

His eyes shone a bright blue, almost white, and within three seconds of getting to the man, he was laying limply on the floor. Dean was halfway to him, holding up a hand to Sam signaling he would take care of whatever this was. 

Cas looked at the women, and with fear in her eyes, he took her hand and explained. Images of the divine filled her brain, and she fell in Castiel's arms and sobbed. “Thank you... thank you. I'm so sorry” 

The women, no older that 24, Cas could see now, was a mess in his arms. She didn't know anything about Castiel, other than what he was, and that was enough for her to feel safe. Dean made it to them, and Cas shot him a look to get him to back down. 

Dean retreated, standing a few feet away, when the women looked up at Castiel. “Thank you” she said again. 

“I'm sorry i didn't come sooner, i don't usually intervene like this.” Castiel responded gently. The women gathered herself back on to the bar stool, and stared at her hands. 

“I dont..I-” She stammered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas said. She nodded hesitantly. Dean was still confused, but he stayed away.

“He... Earlier me and my boyfriend broke up. I, um. I came out to him...” She shot a nervous glance at Castiel, clearly afraid of his reaction. 

“As?” He asked with a reassuring smile. The women visibly relaxed. 

Castiel cold have this effect on people sometimes, his grace was calming when it wasn't threatening divine wrath.

“Uh.. bi. I had come out to him as bi... And he didnt- didnt take that very well.” She got quieter as she spoke. A few stray tears were still rolling down her face.

At this point, someone had pointed out to the bouncer that the man had passed out on the floor. After seeing his head was bleeding, an ambulance was called. Cas could not say he was worried. 

“He uh, he stormed out. Said somethings. I knew it was coming though. He was never a very supporting person. I called my friend, she actually should be here soon, um, sorry to bug you...”

“You are no bother. Would you like to speak about the man?” Castiel asked. He could tell she did, it was rolling off her in waves. But just because she had callmed due to his grace does not mean that he would force her. 

She nodded shyly. “He, uh, he must have overheard me coming out. A Lot of the things he said, were um.. about that. I tried to be polite, cause sometimes being rude makes it worse, ya know?” 

Castiel didn't know, but he nodded anyway.

“But he wouldn't stop, and eventually he started getting handsy-” She let out a teary laugh. “I realized- realized he was a lot stronger than i thought. By the time he had my arm i couldn't get out of his grip...” She got quiet.

“The you came” She looked up at castiel again. “Thank you” She repeated.

Castiel only nodded. “Would you like me to stay with you until your friend comes?” He asked. Again, he knew the answer, but he let her respond anyway.

“That would... That would be really nice. I- uh, I cant thank you enough.” She said. Castiel pulled her into another hug. Dean was silent, he had found another stool and sat a few feel away. 

Castiel stayed with her until her friend, Amelia, frantically ran into the bar looking worried. 

“Oh god, Jo, there you are” Amelia pulled Jo into a hug, and she broke down again. “Come on, sweetie, i have food in the car. Your place or mine?” 

Jo calmed down just enough to whisper “Yours” and walk out to Amelia's car. Castiel walked with them, and before they left Jo pulled him into a hug. 

Flashes of wings flew through Jo’s mind, and Castiel said. “You will be safe, Josephine, pray to me whenever you need to.” Cas whispered into her ear. He gave her a pat on the back and watched them roll away. Dean didn't say anything.

When they got back to the motel, Sam called first shower. Dean looked at him, waiting.

“You cant just go smiting people, Cas, especially in such a public place.” Dean said.

“I did not smite him.” 

“You put to fingers to his head and he collapsed, what is going to happen to him?” 

Castiel stayed quiet for a minute before answering. “His name was Jake. He will wake up in a hospital, handcuffed to the bed.” Dean gave him a strange look, Cas continued. “The doctors will say he passed out after having one to many drinks. By the time he makes it to the hospital, a warrant for his arrest will have been issued.” Dean was surprised. 

“He will be charged for over 10 accounts of rape, one murder, and abuse. Jake will try to buy his way out, but, for some reason that just wont work this time. His case will be assigned to a particularly harsh judge, and he will get life in prison.” 

It was safe to say Dean was stunned. 

“...I, I don't know what to say Cas.” 

“This wasn't his first time. He had plans for that women, Jo. But it will be his last, Hanna has made sure of it.” The mention of the angel running heaven made Dean look back up at Cas. He nodded. Sam got out of the shower, and the next morning they were on their way back to the bunker. 

A week later, Cas heard a prayer. It was mid morning, the bunker was still quiet with its occupants asleep. Jo prayed to him for safety, for him to protect her. 

Another 2 days went by, and there was another. Jo prayed to him for happiness and advice. To send her a sign that it was going to be okay. It didn't take much grace to make a monarch land on her finger that day. 

The prayers continue, and as a favor to Castiel, Hanna promises to keep an eye on the human,

That was the first time Cas protected someone at a dingy bar or festival or where ever casses took them.

It wasn't the last.

[wallywrites]

colored-rain asked:

Hey! Can you do "dont leave" or "youre my everything" with wolfstar? Ty♡♡

Thanks for the request!! I love this idea already!! I love both these prompts too so why not use both! Sorry it took so long! Been super busy with uni assignments but here it is!

Prompt #21 “don’t leave” and prompt #39 “you’re my everything” from my prompt list! If you want to suggest any prompts check out my list here! :)

Initially I had this really angsty idea in mind since the last wolfstar fic I wrote (still haven’t finished that one oops) was super sad and angsty but after finishing three assignments in the last couple of days I just wanted some cute fluff so here’s my attempt at that! (Still a little angst though)

(Repost because my fic was long and Tumblr decided to delete my “keep reading” bar and won’t let me edit on my laptop because I posted it on my phone, and I HATE that I don’t have one so I’m reposting it so it doesn’t annoy me because I don’t know how to fix it)

Read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26232955 

✨Wolfstar au✨

Full moons were always bad. But at least Remus didn’t have to spend them alone anymore. Even though he never really remembered what happens during the night, only flashes and glimpses of images through his nightmares, he knew that he was safe, that others would be safe, too. That Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs would make sure nothing bad could happen.

But they couldn’t stop the inevitable, and sometimes, like last night, things got a little too out of hand. The moon was bigger than usual, Remus was already feeling angsty and sore days before he was meant to shift, more intense than he usually does. He knew something big was coming, didn’t want to worry the others, should have worried the others.

Instead he pretended he was fine, until he wasn’t. Until he shifted and claws ripped at his skin and teeth bit at his friends, and then he was alone. The rest of the marauders didn’t even know how he managed to get away, spent the whole night looking for him, worried, Prongs still limping slightly from where Moony had latched his jaw into the others leg. Padfoot didn’t stop looking, didn’t stop running and sniffing and tracking, even when the others needed a break, even long after they decided to split up, to track more ground that way.

And then the sun began to rise, and the worry turned into fear. Remus had spent practically the whole full moon alone, and god knows what could have happened without the others there to distract him, to keep him from hurting himself or anyone else.

And then the scent of blood caused Sirius to stop dead in his tracks, his legs pushing himself harder and faster than he had pushed before, because blood was never a good sign, and the sun was practically up and Moony was alone and-

There he was. Lying cold, naked, shaking at the bottom of a ditch, more blood than Sirius had ever seen before. Sirius didn’t even realise that he had shifted back until he saw his hands, reaching out to gently pull Remus’ very cold very scarred very bloody body closer, pulling his own jacked off to drape it around his shoulders, trying to heat up his body. It was bad, so much worse than they’ve had before, nasty wounds drawn long across his chest and stomach, another smaller one across his forehead.

And he couldn’t help but think that this was all his fault. If he didn’t loose Remus, if he had been paying attention, if he had realised how big the moon was earlier and how bad it was going to get-

He didn’t remember making his way back to the castle, Remus floating above him from the levitation spell he must have used. Didn’t remember when he found the other Marauders either, didn’t remember waiting and waiting and waiting for Madame Pomfrey to finish healing their friend.

He did however remember the fear that Madame Pomfrey let into her expressions the brief moment before she moved Remus to a hospital bed and started the healing.

Everything happened in a blur, until he snapped out of the daze he was in, his eyes fixated on Remus, lying cold and still in the hospital bed. He hadn’t even realised he was crying until he glanced down, noticing his forearm covered in tears.

“-Pads?”

He looked up for the first time, blinking a couple of times as he looked towards James, who stood, eyebrows furrowed, hand resting on Sirius’ shoulder - when did that get there?

“You alright? You spaced out?”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked what happened? You kind of haven’t spoken since we found you two”

A sigh escaped Sirius as he looked back towards Remus, watching his chest rise and fall, the only thing keeping him from completely falling apart. He tried to think, of what actually happened, but his mind kept wandering, jumping from moment to moment, nothing making any sense. He groaned out as he closed his eyes, rubbing his hand down his face. James waited patiently, not really understanding what was happening, but he knew Sirius, he knew how he acted when they had a particular bad moon, knew that stress and worry can cause his brain to get a little muddled. The same thing happened when Sirius first moved in with the Potters, and James was more observant than he would admit.

And so he drew his hand back and waited as Sirius sighed again, leaning back in his seat, his eyes still trained on Remus.

“It’s all messy, I don’t know, I just..” the image of Remus’ body lying in the ditch came back into Sirius’ mind, causing a shiver to run through him. Out of all the memories and thoughts and images, that was the only one he really could make out, the one he really didn’t want to remember.

Because it hurt. It hurt more than he thought it would, more than he would ever admit. And he didn’t know why. Of course he cares about Remus, he’s cared and worried and stressed about him the day they met, even more the day he found out what happens on a full moon. Remus was one of his best friends, so it makes sense that he was worried, that he was concerned and upset. But it didn’t explain the strange feeling he was getting in his chest, his stomach, his gut. Didn’t explain why his head hurt and his legs couldn’t stop moving and his mind couldn’t stop racing and he couldn’t stop thinking all the worst things he could possibly be thinking and Merlin what if it’s too late and what if he doesn’t make it and what if he never knows how much he means to me and how much I need him and that I love him and-

Sirius physically flinched at the realisation, the words hitting him as hard as he hit the wall he accidentally flew into one day at practice.

“Pads? What is it?” James asked, moving closer as Sirius’ whole body began to shake. He loved Remus. He was in love with Remus fucking Lupin and oh god it made so much sense, so much that he didn’t know how he couldn’t see it before. He was always wanting to be close to Remus, wanting to hear his voice and make him smile and god he was handsome, and sure, he always wondered what it would feel like to hold him and kiss him, and now he knew why.

He started crying again, couldn’t tell when it started, and when he looked to James, the tears kept coming, because he loved Remus, and Remus was hurt, and he was cold and he was bleeding and scarred and Sirius wanted to hold him and tell him it’s going to be okay and tell him that he loves him and what if he doesn’t wake up? What if it’s too late?

“I think love him, James. And I didn’t realise until I saw him- until he.. what if I never get the chance to tell him?”

James was shocked to say the least. Love was a strange topic to Sirius. Sure, he loved a lot of things, in his own way. He loved his friends, loved the Potters, he loved quidditch and pissing Severus off. But love was hard for Sirius, they had his parents to thank for that. It took time for Sirius to even admit that he deeply cared about the other marauders. It was such a foreign concept to Sirius that often times he doesn’t know how he felt, or wouldn’t believe that someone could love him, that he could love someone.

Love was hard for Sirius. But to be in love with someone? James often worried that it would never happen, not because he’s not capable of it, but because he believed Sirius would ignore it, wouldn’t let him feel those things, would push those feelings far away until he forgot about them.

But instead of asking questions and fussing over Sirius being in love, Sirius being in love with a boy, Sirius being in love with Remus, he shook his head, knowing exactly what Sirius is thinking, exactly what he would be freaking out about.

“No, stop that. He’s going to wake up, and then you can tell him how much you love him, okay?”

James had time to question Sirius later, but now he needed to be there for his friend, his brother. Because he knew love, and he knew loss, and he knew Sirius, and he knew he needed to help, to calm him down.

“He’s hurt real bad James-“ he could hear the hurt, the pain in Sirius’ voice, and wondered how he never noticed before, how he always seemed to get worked up and upset whenever they had a particularly bad moon, more so than the others, even when they know he’s safe and going to be okay.

“He’s always hurt bad, and then he wakes up and then he’s fine. He’s going to be okay. Come on, Sirius he’s stronger than all of us combined.” It wasn’t a lie. The moment they found out about Remus’ lycanthropy, James knew he was stronger than anyone he had met, than all of them.

Sirius still wasn’t convinced. They had never had one this bad, and he still couldn’t shake the image out of his head. James watched for a moment as Sirius looked back towards Remus, still asleep, chest rising and falling, shallow but steady, thanks to the professor. She always knew what to do, how to heal Remus, make sure he got better, and they were beyond thankful for that. She even let them stay by his side until he woke up, not that they were technically allowed. Never questioned them either, though they all know she must wonder how the three of them manage to find and bring Remus back after a full moon. She had her guesses, of course, but never questioned them on it, which they were thankful for.

And she always made him better, they knew that, this was no different, but then Sirius started to shake again, because he was so pale, and he was cold and hurt and his skin was already starting to bruise up around the scars and the scars, Merlin the scars were so big and-

James noticed that Sirius started to spiral again, could see the way his brows furrowed and his eyes turned glossy due to more tears threatening to spill. He knew that his mind ad started to race again, so he placed his hand back on his brothers shoulder, and spoke as softly as he could, as calm as he ever had.

“Hey, you’ll get your chance to tell him. I promise you.”

Sirius took a deep breath, calming down slightly, but his legs still bounced under him. And James watched as he just sat, eyes never leaving Remus’ body. Sirius didn’t speak, instead lent forward in his chair, his elbows resting on the bed, next to where Remus laid. And they stayed like that for a while, James’ hand resting on Sirius’ shoulder, his eyes moving between two of his best friends, both broken and hurt and exhausted in different ways. Sirius leaning on the hospital bed, eyes never pulling away from the rise and fall of Remus’ chest, scared that if he looked away, the breathing would stop.

And James knew what he had to do, what Sirius had to do. He didn’t want to leave, but he knew Sirius needed time to think, needed time to just be with Remus, so he moved closer, giving Sirius’ shoulder a small squeeze as he spoke.

“Hey.. I’m gonna give you guys some room, maybe you can think about what you’re going to say when he wakes up?”

Sirius just nodded, a good sign that he wasn’t completely stuck in his head. James pulled back to leave, but he paused, looking back towards Sirius, unmoved, legs still bouncing and body still shaking.

“Hey, uh.. thanks for telling me. You know you can always trust me with that stuff, right?”

Sirius turned his eyes away from Remus for the first time, his eyes finding James, as he nodded, a small smile making it’s way onto his face. Sirius was truly grateful for James, who always let him be himself, who he trusted with everything. “I know.”

“And after this I’m gonna have a hell of a lot of questions to ask you-“

Sirius couldn’t help the chuckle that left him, shaking his head slightly at his friend. “Yeah, yeah I know. I’ll answer all your questions.”

Sirius knew he would have to tell James everything after this, explain everything, including what he still didn’t quite know or understand yet. And if he wasn’t so shaken up or upset still, he might even had been excited to talk to James about it, to laugh with him as they realise how ridiculous he had been, never realising what his feelings had meant. Might’ve even been excited to gossip like normal teenagers do, about Remus and Lily and the absurd amount of pining they’re bound to endure.

James just smiled, nodding his head, before pausing for a moment. And the smile never faltered when he spoke.

“I’m proud of you, you know.”

Those words meant more to Sirius than any words he’s ever heard before. Any time James, or the Potters, or Remus or Peter would tell him that they’re proud, his body would heat up, warmth running through his chest and to his stomach. He didn’t even realise how different this conversation would have been if it was with anyone else, because admittedly he had just come out to his best friend, something that he knows isn’t very accepted, couldn’t even imagine the reaction his parents would have to the idea of their son being in love with a boy, but he was happy that he felt safe enough to do that here. Because James really was his family, really meant a lot to him. And he couldn’t help the smile that made its way to his face at his brothers words.

“Thanks prongs.”

“Give Moons a kiss for me.”

And then James was gone, and Sirius was back to staring at Remus. A long sign escaped him, one he didn’t realise he had been holding, didn’t realise it needed to get out. He reached out, leaning his elbows back where they were, but he paused, his eye drifting to Remus’ hand, lying by his body. Sirius had always wondered what it would feel like to hold his hand. He thought it was ridiculous, that he sounded so sappy, but he didn’t try to stop himself as he reached out, tangling his fingers with Remus’, who was still cold, sending a shiver up Sirius’ arm.

He pulled Remus’ arm towards him gently, placing a kiss on the back of his hand, before resting both arms back down onto the bed, his thumb rubbing over were his lips had touched.

And he sat, and he thought, about what he was going to say. God what was he going to say? And how was he going to say it? What would Remus say? Would he even be okay with it?

He couldn’t imagine Remus ever hating him over the fact that he loved him. Remus probably wouldn’t care that Sirius liked boys either, but would he love him back? Did he love him back? And then Sirius started to panic, because what if he doesn’t? What even would I say? How am I meant to tell Remus that I’m in love with him, and the thought of him gone makes me want to die? That I want to be with him forever, and that I hate when we’re apart, and Christ what am I going to say?

But then he paused, and the worry flooded back to him. He didn’t care what he was going to say, as long as he got to say it. As long as Remus was okay. And he let his eyes wander back over his body, and he could already feel the tears. And then suddenly, the quiet was too much, too suffocating, so he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before he spoke, spilling out all his feelings as best as he could.

“I’m so sorry, Moons. Christ, please be okay. Please wake up Moony..” he spoke, hoping that he could make some sense of what he was feeling. He opened his eyes, focusing on their hands together, before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“I’m so sorry I never told you, that I love you.. I didn’t know.. I didn’t realise I loved you.. I always knew I felt differently about you, but I didn’t.. I was scared, Moons, of a lot of things, but.. seeing you like this.. I can’t imagine never being able to tell you how I feel..”

His eyes were closed again, and he really didn’t want to cry more, so he took another deep breath, his chest shaking, his legs shaking, his hands shaking, and he focused on Remus’ hand within his own. The feeling of their fingers being wrapped up together, the heat from his own body warming up Remus’, which calmed him down. Because he wanted Remus to be warm, to be safe and healthy and okay. He wanted Remus to be okay, because he needed Remus. He needed Remus more than he thought he would ever need anyone.

“Merlin, you’re my everything, Remus. I need you, please wake up.”

And Sirius didn’t know when he realised that Remus was awake, staring at him, tears in his eyes. He didn’t even realise he was staring back, shocked, confused, concerned, until Remus squeezed at his hand, bringing him back from whatever frozen state he was in.

“Merlin Remus” he said simply, dropping down as close to Remus as he could without hurting his wounds, wrapping his arms around his shoulders at an uncomfortable angle to hug him. He didn’t care, Remus was awake, he was okay.. and he might have heard the confession Sirius had made.. and he knows, god he knows.

Sirius didn’t want to pull away, one because he loved the feeling of Remus’ arms wrapped around his back, but also because then Remus would see how red his face is, and then he’d have to face the fact that he unknowingly and unintentionally confessed his feelings to his best friend.

And Sirius’ mind was rambling, trying to think of what to say, or what to do, a million thoughts rushing through his head and around his skull. He was going to get a headache later, already felt it coming along, but he couldn’t possibly worry about that with his heart pounding so loudly in his chest against his rib cage, Moony pressed so closely to his body.

And then Remus’ breath on his ear caused him to freeze, suddenly every thought and sound whirling around in his skull gone as he listened.

“I love you too, Pads.”

Sirius didn’t mean to pull away as fast as he did, but as soon as he saw the calm look on Remus’ face, the sparkle in his eye, he instantly relaxed, even let out a small laugh, eyebrows furrowing together, causing Remus’ smile to grow.

“So you heard all of that?”

Remus laughed out, winching slightly, but his smile never faulted. “Bits and pieces. But I got the gist of it.”

Sirius placed his hands on either side of Remus’ face, careful not to touch any of his healing wounds, and he couldn’t help but smile, warmth pooling throughout his body, because he was holding Remus, and Remus was holding him, and he loved Remus, and Remus loved him.

“I was so scared, Moons.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Sirius chuckled at that, shaking his head. Only Remus would apologise for something that he had no control over. The other marauders have had to tell Remus to stop saying he was sorry on multiple occasions, had explained to him they they know it’s not his fault, that they don’t blame him for anything, would never blame him for anything. That they’re scared and worried because they care, that it’s not his fault. Remus tired to believe them, but the words “I’m sorry” just seemed to slip off his tongue so naturally that he could never really help it.

“No, don’t be sorry. You don’t have to be sorry.”

And he meant it. He didn’t want Remus to ever feel like he had to be sorry, like he was doing something wrong. Because he wasn’t. Sirius thought that Remus shouldn’t ever apologise for anything, because really there isn’t anything Remus could do that would make Sirius want an apology.

They didn’t move, didn’t speak for a while, instead all they did was look to each other. Sirius couldn’t really tell what he was feeling, nor did he completely understand Remus’ expression, but he didn’t want to ask, wanted to just stare a little longer. So he let his eyes move over his face, leaving his eyes and moving across his scars and freckles, and down to his lips. Christ Sirius wanted to kiss him. To finally find out what Remus’ lips would feel like against his own. And it seemed like Remus was reading his mind when he spoke.

“Merlin, Sirius just kiss me already-“

And that’s all Sirius needed before he pushed himself closer, his hands holding Remus’ face as he kissed him. Remus’ arms tightened around Sirius’ back, and Sirius could feel him smile as he kissed him, leaning his body closer, wanting to be closer and closer and closer.

He ran his tongue over Remus’ bottom lip, which Remus returned with a moan, letting him in almost instantly as Sirius’ hands moved up to tangle themselves in his hair. A part of Remus thought he was still dreaming, that this wasn’t happening, that Sirius wasn’t here, kissing him, tugging at his hair, but then Sirius would moan, reminding Remus that this was very much real, that this was very much happening. That just made him want to squeal.

But they were both exhausted, so it wasn’t long before they pulled apart, not really wanting to, but knowing that they probably should. That they would have time to do more of that later.

The two of them couldn’t help but laugh, Sirius leaning his forehead on Remus’, a sigh of relief leaving both of them, a sign that both boys had wanted this for a while, despite Sirius only realising it moments before. Remus shook his head slightly, his smile never fading as he spoke.

“You wouldn’t believe how long I’ve waited for that.”

Sirius felt warm, his whole body tingling at the idea of Remus wanting to kiss Sirius, of Remus waiting for the moment. That thought made Sirius’ face blush red, his cheeks beginning to ache from the grin he didn’t notice having, which refused to leave his expression.

Sirius wanted to be closer to Remus, to hold him and kiss him, the thought itself getting him excited, but as he pulled away slightly, Remus froze, his grip around Sirius’ back tightening as he closed his eyes.

“Don’t-, don’t leave, please.”

Sirius couldn’t help but chuckle, leaving being the last thing on his mind. So he lent down again, catching Remus’ lips in another kiss before pulling back slightly, not as far as before. He pushed himself up onto the bed, Remus moving slightly to the side as he helped Sirius under the covers. Sirius laid down, his arms wrapping around Remus, whose body was now warm, pulling his body into his own. Remus sighed out again, his body shaking slightly as Sirius placed a kiss to his forehead, closing his own eyes before speaking.

“I’m not going anywhere.”