#i’ll starve again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2 · 3 months

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uhh

#Today I realise I probably have a eating disorder #no I’m not starving or eating too much I just #have bouts of food insecurity #and horrible horrible parents I hate them so much <3 #anyway I slowly realized that I’ve been more than happy to go without food for extended periods of time #and that my fast/slow eating and ARFID tendencies have mixed together in a horrible fashion #I’ve gone days without proper meals. I’ve gone so so many days without proper meals #I never realized that eating disorders could be related to inconsistent food access #I don’t claim to have any sorta normal type it’s a fucked up me thing #But it’s so fucked. I shouldn’t feel that any meal that’s “edible” to me is the only meal I’ll have for days #it’s just. So fucked. Starving is preferred to eating something disgusting #and these days that becoming more and more #I can’t become sick of beef I can’t if I start retching if I start getting sick #i’ll starve again #I just don’t want to anymore #I just don’t want to. I want to not worry anymore I want to never worry again #but I can’t I don’t know if I’ll have a proper meal I don’t know if tomorrow is the same #I tried so hard today and it wasn’t enough.#if I mess up one meal I don’t think anyone will eat well #and that’s exactly what happened again. And again and again #the utter despair that coursed through me as I knew no one would be able to eat #the sobs that racked me. And yet false promises from my father and yet again I’m exhausted #I’m made of plastic I’m strong but bend me the wrong way and I break #and today was that. I hate that I do these things I should be able to feed my family #but I can’t I let them down. I eat too much because I don’t know when I’ll have food next #I cry at wasting good leftovers because I don’t know if I can eat the next meal #and every single day I feel this deep shame for buying food for myself that’s more that 5$#I am so scared of not being able to eat again. Because it’s happened so often in my life #from when I was little to when I’m an adult #I can’t afford to get sick of beef I can’t I just can’t. If it happens I’ll starve worse than I did before

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meepmeep19 · 3 months

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The First Time Tetchou placed Jouno above Justice:

The Airport Scene TM is so significant for SGK cuz it marks the first major instance of Tetchou placing something above justice (Jouno). And while it is a 🤌 of a scene, I actually think this was the SECOND time Tetchou prioritized Jouno instead of justice.

When was the first time? It was during the first couple years after Jouno joined.

As much I absolutely LOVE current Tetchou’s unyielding devotion to Jouno, I honestly don’t think that’s how he’s always felt. In fact, I think that he originally hated him and that these two were actually enemies to lovers. This gradual shift marked the first time Tetchou placed Jouno above justice. Lemme explain.

Jouno was literally everything Tetchou stood against when he first joined. An unfeeling, murderous criminal who was allowed to basically get away with it all scot free. Not even JUST getting away with it, no, this filthy criminal actually got REWARDED with actual Hunting Dog status. In other words Jouno literally escaped justice. Ofc, Tetchou was gonna absolutely hate his guts. He swore he would never see this murderer as a Hunting Dog. In his mind, the only way this injustice would be righted is when Jouno finally paid for his crimes and faced capital punishment.

But then something insane happens; the ex-mafioso actually changes. Tetchou starts to see him casually risking his own life to save innocent civilians. He starts to notice the very faint, slightly flustered (and cute) smile on Jouno’s face whenever said civilians would thank him for rescuing them. In just a year, Jouno’s dedication to the HD manages to rival even that of his own. And that’s when Tetchou realizes he was wrong about Jouno and that somehow, this man has actually started to grow on him. (Don’t get me wrong; Jouno does still have his sadistic side that occasionally riles up Tetchou, but it’s rly more of a minor annoyance rather than anything serious anymore.)

But that’s when reality hits him. Jouno’s recent change in behaviour still does not erase his crimes. At the end of the day, he should still be on death row. Nothing about this situation has changed; in the eyes of justice, Jouno is still a criminal. Tetchou should still hate him. It shouldn’t matter that Jouno feels just so fun to be around despite because of his cattiness or that he has an utterly adorable smile, or that he never hesitates to protect the weak, or that he’s just become so stupidly endearing to Tetchou that it’s honestly overwhelming at times.

And yet… it DOES matter. Somehow the thought of Jouno dying has gone from something jubilating to utterly terrifying for Tetchou. Try as he might, he just can’t see Jouno as a criminal anymore; all he sees is a Hunting Dog; a hero. But again, he knows he can’t like Jouno and still claim to be a follower of justice.

And so, Tetchou decides to make an exception to his justice philosophy. Realizing that he just can’t hate Jouno anymore (and rly, doesn’t ever want to) Tetchou Suehiro, CHOOSES to place his love for his beloved partner above his love for justice, for the first (but definitely not last) time.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #tetchou suehiro #jouno saigiku #hunting dogs bsd #suegiku #god we are literally STARVED of SGK content #it’s honestly just so unfair lol #I also had like a little side note I was gonna add but that got so stupidly big i decided to make it its own post rather than make u guys #suffer even more lol #I’ll hopefully be posting that ‘side note’ soon (maybe)#I’m writing about SGK at 3am again…#what. a. surprise.#I love Suegiku #Enemies-to-lovers SGK my beloved #(even tho I’m not even that big of a fan of Enemies-to-Lovers tbh lol #it just ✨works✨ here for some reason #I absolutely NEED more SGK backstory-

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alwaysneedyforsir · 2 months

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is a hug too much to ask for

#seriously #i’m jus #so so goddamn touch starved #like i would do insane things to just get a hug rn #a proper hug that lasts like two seconds #so so tired #physically but also #emotionally n mentally drained rn #tired n exhausted n straight up numb #i get myself out of this shitty place n then fall right back into it again #just #a proper night’s sleep where i don’t wake up exhausted and dreading the day ahead #n a fucking hug #seriously when did a hug become too much to ask for #i’ll probably wake up n be horrified n delete this so enjoy my rambles for the next like #3.5-4ish hours before i’m awake again?#fml!#it’s fine i’m fine everything’s fine #i just need someone to hug me while i sleep a full night #and the chances of me finding that anytime soon are #too low to even try n pretend to calculate #goodnight y’all #wishing y’all the hugs that i can’t seem to get #me #my thoughts

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alcubierre-warpin · 10 months

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writing a bit of 90s gerri tonight and of course I thought of you first

*insert art of 90s Gerri biting her lip in pensive thought*

#THANK YOU LESBIAN KAROLINA NOVOTNEY #please send me your work lol i’m starving for fic content #i need to get into drawing again i’m just burnt out from work #i also have more s4 script stuff to post i need to do it #there’s been a little uptick in people liking succ posts which is nice #my friend out of the blue told me she started watching it cause of me #she doesnt know about this blog i’m waiting for her to binge it first lol #ughmhmm since im here im also waiting for the dvd set to drop! i hope it had extras otherwise i’ll end it all

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batwynn · 2 years

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I’m back at the, ‘I just won’t eat’ because there isn’t anything I can immediately grab and put in my mouth stage of things again. My blood sugar is taking a hit out on me as we speak.

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margeryxavier · 4 months

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angel gets a necklace, brit gets a necklace, where’s bug boy when you need him 😔

#I’m attention starved #I’ll kiss you again if you show up 🥺

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messrmoonyy · 1 year

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If we don’t get at least a mention of Tess again in this ep I might cry

#I’ll cry if they do #who am I kidding #but like. I’m starved. I need it #they’ve been using her ‘ save who you can save ‘ in like every add on sky Atlantic here #so like. I feel like it’s gonna pop up again #pls Neil and Craig. pls #tess servopoulos #the last of us

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yuribalisms · 9 months

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When I tell you that I would sell my fucking soul to enjoy cooking. I would give up any of my existing talents, personality traits, interests, literally ANYTHING to just not viscerally despise cooking with every single fiber of my fucking being

#went grocery shopping. tricked myself into buying shit to actually cook #instead of exclusively premade and frozen shit #can’t wait for all this food to go to waste because I will not fucking make it 🙃#I’ll starve and live off fast food until it all goes bad and I am ‘cleared’ to go grocery shopping again #why do I do this to myself #I need to live with someone who likes cooking #like I’ll clean the kitchen every night!!!!! I don’t mind that #I’ll even go do the grocery shopping cuz tbh I don’t really mind that either #but godDAMN the actual act of cooking itself is comparable to torture for me #kaz rambles

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70eeznutz · 1 year

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654 days since 1 million video

#at least there’s tnpc #is that even considered canon tho #i miss the silly numbers #jnj please let me see them again #we’re fucking starving #we are STARVING!!!#please just a crumb of content for a non host algebralian #just a simple namedrop would suffice #i’ll take anything #catch me kneeling in front of my bedroom window wishing upon a star like a little boy

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boilingcowboy · 1 year

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being homesick for place you moved away over a decade ago, that has been sold a long time ago, that is now lived in by complete strangers is such a weird feeling

#its this starving feeling like there is something that i’ll never be able to hold again

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mookybear12404 · 1 year

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I just want to lay down and have a good cry I feel so helpless

#had to stay home from work today #I cant drive cant stand #there’s things that need to be places and stuff that needs to be cleaned #broken things from the cats all over the floor o can’t bend over to fix #I’m starving but I can’t COOK so I’m just eating crackers #I don’t know what caused this but this means I’ll have to go back again which I’m also dreading #it just all hurts so much #vent #delete later

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dreams-your-smp · 2 years

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Hhhh for some reason I rly want positive attention rn

#It’s the attention starved for me 🤪#I’m sorury I’ll never use an emoji again /j #Not dsmp #zee speaks

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