#i’m depressed what the hell!

[quinnfebrey]

this isn’t just about the fact that sapphic shows get cancelled, it’s about the REASON being that they’re not palatable to straight audiences because straight people STILL aren’t able to see lesbians in the pure sense that they see gay men. no matter what they tell you, they just don’t. it’ll always have a slightly more sexual connotation, a slightly more taboo feel. juliette & cal and toni & shelby were just kids falling in love and doing what teens do and yet people refuse to see in them what they saw in charlie & nick from heartstopper.

[beauty1sempty]

whenever i wake up i feel sick.my first breath makes me sick.i don’t know why i feel like this because i know i’m not actually sick.

[molly-pocket]

[atopvisenyashill]

Thoughts on the Alysanne is Maegor's daughter AU? I feel like it has some interesting potential, and it vastly recontextualizes different parts of Jaehaehae (I do not like him sjsjsjs) and Alysanne's relationship (such as Jaehaehae's treatment of their daughters) but I wanna hear what you think about it!

I’ve touched on this a bit before but since you actually want to hear my thoughts, allow me to present to you my Jaehaerys Is The Goddamn Worst, And Alysanne Annoys Me Too: An Essay lmao but my answer is basically “yeah all of what you just said.”

I think it makes Alysanne much more palatable (to me) as a character because as she stands, she just fixates on forcing her daughters through these fucked up marriages at too young an age bc it traumatized her to be married and pregnant at 15 too but she’d never admit that being a willing participant in her own kidnapping by her brother-husband was the single worst thing that ever happened to her, and because Alysanne doesn’t want to admit it (and Jaehaerys would never see it as wrong or a mistake) F&B really shies away from delving into the fact that Alysanne is as deranged of a mother as Cersei is. So as she stands, she’s very flat to me because she’s presented very flatly and inconsistently. She’s so in love with Jaehaerys, she’s maritally raped by Jaehaerys, she’s a loving and doting mother, she forces her daughters into marriages when they’re the same too young age she was, she accuses her teenage girls of being scheming whores then gets angry when her husband accuses their teenage girls of being scheming whores, and worst of all we are just told “Maegelle tells them to make up so they do” so we don’t know why Alysanne gets over all of this. What is the point of riding a dragon when you never use that dragon to protect your daughters from unwanted teen marriages? We’re just not given a good enough justification for why her behavior is so weird and frustrating towards her daughters.

Make her Maegor’s daughter though…most of her behavior as an adult makes more sense. Like a worse version of Rhaenyra’s childhood almost - a father desperate for a son, but lowkey obsessed with his daughter, who makes all his hang ups about his parents the problems of every woman around him, except Maegor is out here blood sacrificing and torturing and starting wars and forcing babies on wives he discards quickly and brutally. Then here comes Jaehaerys on a white horse green dragon to save her from the horror her life has become, and he loves her so much he runs away with her even though Alyssa says they shouldn’t marry because people won’t like it. And they have beautiful children, and a beautiful marriage, and build a beautiful kingdom.

Then her pregnancies start getting dangerous. Gaemon, then Valerion, die. Alysanne thinks of the shriveled up mutants she called brothers, if Maegor’s taint has passed to her. Her perfect husband ignores her no, and forces Gael on her. Alysanne remembers that he said nothing to Rogar when Alyssa died, merely wept. Then her daughters start to die. Daella, Alyssa, Viserra, all within a few years. Then Jaehaerys makes Saera watch as he murders her boyfriend, calls her a whore, and says Alysanne cannot follow Saera to Lys. Alysanne thinks of Maegor torturing the Harroways over Alys’ presumed infidelity. Jaehaerys says he’s sorry, and her daughter badgers her into forgiving him, and she remembers how she helped Jaehaerys badger Alyssa into forgiving Rogar. Not two years later, Jaehaerys passes over Rhaenys. Alysanne thinks of how she was never enough for her father, how she felt so superior to Rhaena banished to Dragonstone and resented by Aerea, yet there she is dragging Gael away from court because she can’t stand to be with Jaehaerys. How her father was surrounded by dead women and dead babies and how Jaehaerys is surrounded by his own dead daughters, but surely she did the right thing, surely Maegor was worse, surely the realm is better off? Is he right to pass over Rhaenys? Is she enabling a man just as monstrous as her father? She will never decide, because Maegelle will guilt her about keeping Gael isolated at Dragonstone, and Alysanne will do as she’s told, just like Rhaena, and Alyssa, and Jeyne, Elinor, Ceryse, Alys, and Tyanna, just like every one of her daughters.

I do get why Alysanne is Alyssa & Aenys’ and not Maegor’s. The weird Targ babies, the line not descending from Visenya, Jaehaerys and Alysanne being held up as the perfect Targaryen couple specifically because they are brother and sister and dragon riders. I do even think canon Alysanne is likely traumatized by her time as a hostage on Dragonstone, and the ensuing war, and the trauma bond that caused with Jaehaerys, and it makes her idolize Jaehaerys, and then he isolates her at Dragonstone so he can swiftly and safely marry, groom, and knock her up. It’s not like,,,, a fun time, and it’s enough to make anyone crazy and weird about their daughters, but I think having her father be Maegor makes Alysanne herself much deeper because it gives her, as the most beloved Targaryen queen, a blood tie to the most hated Targaryen king, and a marriage to the most beloved Targaryen king. It fits better with a lot of the themes of the main series (again, imo) - forcing the spotlight on the outsiders to see how the affect the story from behind the scenes. The fall of Aegon’s sons, and The Long Reign, not told from the PoV or to serve the PoV of any of the kings or princes, but of the queen that tied them all together.

[nyrovie-ii]

I’m not depressed, I’m just a girl

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Working through Penumbra season one and oh god fuck I forgot about the kissing.

As someone who’s aroace and hates the sound of literally anyone kissing, this is my personal hell.

[le-insomni-e]

anyone ever pretends to feel all right just so no one worries about you and then cry your eyes out when alone or is it just me

[mcnuggyy]

the way my pharmacy has absolutely screwed me over… I’m so fucking upset… at first they refused to refill my prescription because it was too early despite both me and my doctor asking for it because I leave soon, and then once I was finally aloud to ask for a refill (yesterday) they don’t even have it in stock yet and now I have to wait 2-3 business days…. I literally leave tomorrow….. like I have no idea how this shit works but why wouldn’t they have ordered it a week or a few days early before my refill date… do they not check that sort of thing?? especially when the prescription I get is exactly 30 days… like I don’t have anything extra…. What do I even do in this situation….

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

[malsyearning]

pov i’ve spent the last 34 hours begging for my ex boyfriend back just to find out today that he’s dating my bestfriend since seventh grade and im not ever actually gonna get him back. tbh it’s a good reason to keep getting skinnier because she’s smaller than me and if he wants that more maybe i just need to lose more weight.

[peapod20001]

If u thought I died you thought incorrectly <3

Still kickin and scuttling. Like a roach

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

[welcome2cybrhell]

even though he knows little to nothing about how risky it may be to burn things inside, he reasons that it could get out of hand. Now he’s staring at the damp pavement of a parking lot. A pretty odd spot to burn photos, but a spot nonetheless.

Ringing any bells?

Technically these types of printed photos are outdated by a few decades, but he liked to indulge in ancient things. Plus they’re much easier to burn than modern photos, which are pretty much all digital

[noxchievous]

Parent/teacher conference day at Tumblr High

Featuring !!!! @chanto-love ‘s Slenderman descendant, Ella.

[princeanxious]

.

[misfit-mania-the-first]

I want everyone to have lots of good food, a warm place to call home, lots of family, complete comfort watching or reading their favorite stuff, watching the sunset, pissing rainbows and snacking on unicorns and sewing the flying pigs pants and we all live happily ever after

I’m sorry my ideal world and my ideas about fixing it aren’t dystopian enough for you