#i’m such a fucking dumbass who makes a whole comic

[tanzdoesthings]

hey silvermoon people come get some foood-

(designs by @shkika !)

[syrupfog]

The thing about being a pirate is that you can’t get too attached to anything you own. 

Ships go down. Ships get stolen or looted. You change crews. 

Maybe pre-pirating your whole island was razed to the ground and you escaped with only the clothes on your back and your odd hat. 

It’s just a known fact; don’t get too attached to anything. 

THAT’S why Law keeps his Sora collection a SECRET. 

He knows it’s not wise to keep on board the Tang. He knows he’s just ASKING for a leak. He keeps the comics in waterproof containers as if that will help if they sink.

Honestly rule number one of being a pirate is “don’t eat a devil fruit you dumbass you need to swim” but he’d already broken that rule so he might as well break rule number two; “don’t get attached to anything you own.” 

He got very attached.

When the Tang explodes, everyone makes it out. Which makes sense, because everyone (except for Law) are North Blue survivors, MADE for those icy ocean temps. It’s great, he’s eternally grateful he can trust his crew. 

He’s just a little devastated that his collection is gone.

In the mean time, while debating how to get ahold of a second ship (would Wolf be willing to come out of retirement…?), they’re stuck on the Going Luffy again. Fucking creepy ass ship. But at least Law spends enough time getting pissed at Barto that he barely misses his things.

(That’s a lie; he used to reread one comic a night. He misses them a lot). 

Two weeks into their stay, though, they finally catch up to the Sunny (which of the Straw Hats was dumb enough to give Barto their vivre card?) and as soon as they’re close enough, Law realises that he made a mistake, lounging on the deck to nap. 

Because, like some sort of beacon, Luffy spots him instantly as he slingshots from one ship to the other. 

“TraaaaaaaffFFFFFYYYYYY” 

Law makes a quick room and switches himself with Bepo, who screams as Luffy crashes into him.

“Bear!!” Luffy yells. “You’re not Traffy!” 

“No! Sorry!” 

Luffy gets up and brushes himself off. “Oh, Traffy! When did you get over there?” 

“When you decided to try to kill me with that landing,” Law says, cracking his neck. 

Luffy laughs at him. 

LUFFY is made of rubber. Law is not made of rubber and he does not think Luffy ever remembers that. 

“I’m so glad you guys are here!” Luffy says, ignoring the insinuation that he would commit murder. “It’s been so BORING lately! And Nami says you guys don’t have a ship right now!”

Ah yes, Nami does read the paper religiously. 

“We’re working on it,” Law says, ignoring Bepo’s sad expression. 

“Well until then, you should join us!” Luffy says. “Since we’re in an alliance and all!” 

“We are NOT,” Law snaps, “still in an alliance! That’s finished!”

Luffy laughs. “Okay,” he says. 

Law doesn’t think that okay is real. 

“But anyway, Sanji says you should all come over for dinner! He’s making meat!” 

Barto, who has only just appeared (probably doing his hair), perks up. “Me too, Luffy Senpai??”

“Uh,” says Luffy. “Yeah, sure!” 

Barto has stars in his eyes. 

Law sighs. Barto is too much to handle on the best of days. 

“Fine Straw Hat,” he says. “We’ll be there.” 

They eat on the deck of the Sunny, because there’s not enough room in the galley. It’s a clear, starry night.

The Sunny’s headed to Elbaf. 

Law sits at the edge and watches his crew make up to Usopp and Franky. Bunch of nerds, the lot of them. 

He watches Luffy, too, as he eats a mammoth portion and then immediately lays down for a nap. 

Law’s spent a lot of time watching Luffy.

He doesn’t get it, how one person can have such magnetism. Luffy could have the whole world bowing at his feet if he wanted. Law knows this because he could easily count himself among them. 

He doesn’t understand why Luffy continues to seek HIM out.

He’s a hell of a lot grumpier than Luffy’s acquired crew. He’s also clearly been born with bad luck; it follows him like a plague. He’s not fun to be around. 

But for some reason Luffy keeps finding him and looking happy when he does. 

It’s weird.

Tonight, after half the crews have retired and Luffy’s woken up from his food coma, he does the same thing. He zeroes in on Law and sidles up to him. 

“Hey!” He says, sandals slapping the deck. “You’re being all weird and lonely!” 

“Shut up, Straw Hat. You’re just too friendly.”

Luffy puts his hands in his hips as he laughs. “You’re friendly,” he says. “You’re just not happy about it.” 

That’s incredibly wrong. Law scowls. 

“Now come on.” Luffy reaches down and pulls Law to his feet. “Sanji’s doing dishes.” 

“So…?” 

Luffy puts a finger to his lips.

Then he makes an INCREDIBLE amount of noise as he runs across the deck with Law in tow (and protesting about it) down to the men’s bunk room. 

Chopper and Jinbei are already asleep but the light is on, and Zoro’s sitting in his bunk polishing his swords. He looks at them when they enter and snorts. “Stealing from your own crew, now, Luffy?” 

Luffy laughs and Law starts to protest— or question?— but he’s pulled over to the lockers and Luffy starts rummaging through one that’s full of suits and smells sickeningly of cigarette smoke.

From the bottom he pulls out a box of— 

“Is that— Sora?” Law breathes. This is the GRAND LINE. How did someone get SORA COMICS? 

“Yep!” Luffy opens the box and starts getting his sticky fingers ALL OVER THEM. “The bear said you love this stuff! And that you lost yours!”

“I—“ how did Bepo…? 

Of course Bepo knew. Damn him. Snooping bear. 

“Sanji hates these things. I dunno why he insists on keeping them.” 

Luffy gives up thumbing through them and instead sticks his GREASY HANDS IN and just pulls out 90% of the stack at random.

“Here you go!” 

Law gapes at him. 

“Straw Hat, you can’t just—“ 

Luffy grins. “Sanji won’t to notice!” 

There’s two comics left in the box. Sanji will definitely notice. 

Still, Law could never turn down this opportunity. He takes the stack with REVERENCE, realising these are the OLD ones, the ones with the much darker plot lines and terrible airbrush coloring. 

Holy shit. They’re first editions. 

He may have started crying right there, if not for the fact that he’s suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by incredibly loud, incredibly fake snoring.

He looks over. Zoro’s still holding his sword oil as he “sleeps”. 

If he were a better man, Law would talk to Sanji about this. 

But he’s not a better man. He’s a pirate. 

Law makes a room big enough to reach the Going Luffy and reaches out with his free hand, grabbing Luffy.

He switches them with a Luffy statue from his own “guest” room.

Luffy laughs as Law lets go. “That’s so cool, we should prank people,” he says. 

“Later,” Law says. He sits down on the floor in front of his hammock and starts carefully shuffling through the Sora.

Honestly he’s so caught up in finding out what volumes are there that he almost forgets he brought Luffy with him until the captain reaches out from next to him and points at one of the covers. 

“Hey that looks like Sanji’s brother!” 

Law rolls his eyes and starts talking about how it couldn’t possibly be whoever Sanji’s brother is because Sora came out when HE was a kid and Sanji’s too young for that, and anyway Straw Hat don’t you know anything about the LORE? 

He talks about the lore. 

He talks for a LONG time about the lore.

And the worst part of all is that Luffy pays attention for all of it, nodding like he’s listening. 

(He can’t possibly be) 

(But that’s okay) 

When Law is done going through each comic and explaining the plots in detail, he realises just how much he’s forced down Luffy’s throat.

He starts to apologise but then he looks up at Luffy and sees him grinning. 

“We should’ve taken all of them,” Luffy says. “You clearly care about them a lot.” 

Law… blushes. Gets bright fucking red. “It’s a hobby,” he says. “It’s not important.” 

“But you like it,” Luffy says.

“And that makes it important.” 

Law stares at him. 

He has the unnerving urge to kiss him. 

“Straw Hat…” 

Luffy leans forward, eyes wide. 

Shockingly, he does what Law would never follow through on. 

He kisses him. 

HE KEEPS HIS EYES OPEN, THOUGH. LAW DOESN'T LIKE THAT.

Law reels back after the initial kiss. “LU-YA CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU KISS SOMEONE.” 

Luffy pouts. “No! I wanna see you!” 

Law scoffs. His face is SO hot. “Shut up.” 

He covers Luffy’s eyes and kisses him back. 

Luffy’s a terrible kisser. 

Law likes that.

He likes that there’s something he’s bad at. Because everything else about Luffy is so incredible. 

Luffy goes to deepen the kiss but when he surges forward he knocks one of the comics with his foot and Law immediately stops the kiss to clean up everything.

When breakfast happens in the morning, Sanji complains briefly about someone breaking into his locker and messing sigh his stuff, but Zoro makes a remark that Sanji’s just upset because he hides sex toys in his locker and got found out. 

They start fighting.

Luffy sits next to Law and eats all his pancakes, while Law picks at the accompanying fruit and eggs. 

Then, under the table, Luffy grabs his hand. 

Luffy’s hand is SO sticky. 

Like, did he stick his hand IN the maple syrup? 

Law lets it happen, though.

It’s good. It’s nice. 

He fell asleep in the hammock last night with Luffy. Reading Sora. 

Pirates can’t afford to get attached to things. Things get lost and looted and stolen. 

But just this once. Just this once Law will try again.

[base0h]

Hello there 👋. If it's ok with you, may I request for ASL brothers + katakuri ? How would they react upon witnessing their fem s/o who just fall from a flight of stairs just casually get up, not saying anything, dust herself off and walk away as if she didn't just fall from a really high place and injuring her head ? Blood obviously dripping down from her forehead like she just got smashed to the head with a bear bottle but her expression stays nonchalant. Idk why when this scene first play in my head I find it funny 💀 you can ignore this if you want to btw ☺️. No pressure 👌

a/n - pls this idea is so funny 😭 I love it- tysm for this anon!!

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader, modern au, Katakuri needs therapy

- The way he literally just stood there, a handful of potato chips in his mouth, mismatching socks, and only having his boxers on as you fell down the stairs

- he stopped chewing, watching you immediately get up as if nothing happened, blood clearly starting to drip down your nose and forehead from impact

- He kept looking back and forth at you who was now watching tv on the couch as if you didn’t just fall down a long flight of WOODEN stairs…?

- He giggled, running up the stairs and fucking jumping off them like a dumbass

- he took your actions as a “skills of falling down the stairs” challenge which he gladly took

- “WHEEEEEE- OOF-“

- ran straight into the wall, putting a dent, making the lamp above him fall on top of him

- “I’m- fine-! Shishi~” *dies*

- he tried to be like you, didn’t work out very well

- lots of ice packs and kisses followed afterwards tho 💜💜

- also yes he’s still only in his underwear and mismatching socks

- Bold of you to assume you could even fall down the stairs without him being right there to catch you before you fall 🙃

- ok let’s just say he wasn’t payin attention

- You took one wrong step down the stairs, skipping a step as you slid down, flipping forward and slamming your face into the ground rather- harshly

- You could hear boots thudding from the hall, scrambling feet, and in the blink of an eye, Katakuri slid on the wooden floors to find you collapsed on the ground in front of the stairs

- *panic attack starts*

- Literally FREAKING OUT

- You just stood up, wiping your bloody nose and going to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast

- He stood there, blinking however many times before he walked over to you silently

- “…are you ok?”

- you had the absolute audacity to look at him with the most confused expression as if nothing happened at all

- “What do you mean? Yeah I’m fine why?”

- watch him walk out that door right now

- He put those guard rails on the stairs, and non-slip pads on the wooden steps 😭

- he’s doing everything in his power to make sure you don’t fall down again 🥺

- I just know this man has an issue with stairs, going up and going down them

- You were wearing socks! It was pretty much setting up for your demise against the stairway

- You slipped, sliding down on your ass before flipping forward, skidding to a stop on your face, your legs comically flying above your head before you stopped

- Ace was standing there in disbelief with a mouthful of cereal, the spoon still in his mouth

- Everything was silent as you got up, brushing your clothes off before grabbing a cup of water as if blood wasn’t clearly dripping down your face

- Ace rushed over to you, dropping the whole bowl of cereal before grabbing your head with his hands worriedly

- “Are you ok?! Y/n YOU JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!”

- “Do I have to get Marco? Probably- right?! Oh shit.”

- his hands lit on fire from worry, lighting your- hair on fire…

- Started screaming, and you were absolutely clueless as to what was happening

- He grabbed the milk carton and started dunking your head in it, slapping the fire on your head before it could burn any of your hair.

- it ended with ace cleaning up at least a gallon of milk, and a trip to Marco’s 👍

- he’d just be minding his own business, doing some reading as he sipped his cup of tea peacefully

- That was interrupted by you flying down the stairs, hitting your head against the table leg underneath him with a thud

- he swore you’d almost broken the leg in half 💀

- You got up, continuing to hum a tune as you grabbed some breakfast, sitting right next to him as you started scrolling on your phone, blood dripping down your face

- He was scared? Of you? No- for your safety and well-being? How tf did you fall down a whole ass flight of stairs and not start wincing in pain? Was it true? Were you actually a demon?

- you looked over at him to see him staring at you with the most concerned look you had ever seen

- “Morning Sabo!”

- You kissed his cheek, wiping the blood off your bruised face with a paper towel before going back to your phone nonchalantly

- Was he hallucinating? No- you fell down the stairs just now! He wasn’t dreaming or anything!

- He put his hand on your shoulder and took a deep breath, “Y/n… I think we need to see a doctor.”

- man got so serious about it help 💀

- started looking up, “fell down stairs, did not react disease?”

- “high pain tolerance?”

- “can’t feel pain disease”

- “SHOULD I CALL AN EXORCIST?”

- “exorcistdemon.org”

a/n - pls sabo would think you’re possessed 💀

[chiquitafresa]

I hope you don’t mind me sharing my staticapple headcanons in return-

My favorite headcanon is that Vox teaches Lucifer how to game and Lucifer is comedically bad at it . But if anyone in the shared lobby says anything, you bet your ass whoever did it is getting doxxed .

Also! I don’t think either of them can cook to save their lives . On one of their early dates, Lucifer invited Vox to his house for a home cooked meal, and realizes a tad too late he has no clue how to cook . Vox comes to see him fussing over burnt ramen . They end up ordering in . (They might learn to cook later though, who knows)

Lucifer makes a habit of showing up to places like hours before it’s time to start and just waits at the door except Vox has cameras everywhere so he notices this and ends up letting him in early (Lucifer gets pretty flustered at this the first time it happens). Vox does consider telling him a meeting time that’s later so he’s not comically early, but part of him enjoys getting to spend a few hours before schedule with his bf.

Vox doesn’t really know how to connect to Charlie at first- well he does, but it mostly involves several manipulative tactics that pray on her better nature instead of genuinely just letting her get to know him and vice versa . Eventually they bond by drawing together, even though Vox isn’t the best at it-

Also Lucifer has really horrible memory with conversations, but luckily Vox has surveillance everywhere! He can just record his bf’s conversations for him! Wait what do you mean that’s a breach of privacy? (They have a very long conversation about boundaries after this . )

I think Vox would hype Lucifer up so fucking much too . Not that it’s really necessary cause cmon, king of hell, but it’s like that meme . If I had a lame ass boyfriend I would hype him up so much, I’d be like here comes the specialest boy ever if you don’t clap I’ll blow up this whole building . That’s them . It’s even funnier because Vox is just as much of a cringefail dumbass as Lucifer is .

They talk about how much they hate Alastor but Lucifer notices that Vox is putting waaaaayy too much weight on it . I think they could actually help eachother a lot in this specific aspect because they’re both people who tend to define themselves off of their relationships, and obsess over one particular relationship to the point of it being unhealthy . (Like, I’m not sure if you’ve seen it, but theres a post about how Vox isn’t really happy or excited about anything until Alastor shows up? And Lucifer is the same way with Charlie calling him! I think Lucifer having a person in his life that has nothing to do with his daughter before meeting him would be pretty welcome, and Vox having someone who can validate his feelings about Alastor without enabling him is also just soooo)

Okay yeah that’s my take on them . I really like how you draw them btw . They’re very cute <3

OH MY GOD ANON I LOVE THIS!!! Your making me cry over how cute they’re are ❤️

I mean like they’re so cute to think about, like how would they first meet? How will Vox react to Lucifer asking him out???

They are having me on a choke hold 😭😭😭

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

ALRIGHT

When SOMEONE who is definitely NOT ME writes the Avatar high school au with Spider properly included, here’s how it should go:

-so my man Jake Sully has been paralyzed since The WarTM (I don’t care which one) and he and his delightful wife (school board hates her) and kids (school board hates everyone but Neteyam) have trouble finding a place that is accessible for Jake. Because of this they all live in a home in an old folks community.

-They live somewhere crazy like Pennsylvania where the drive between one place and another is 45 minutes so the kids are all stupid close and hate (love) each other.

-then one day a social worker drops a kid off to live next door with his decrepit and dying old aunt or something, it’s Miles Spider Socorro here in all his fun neglected glory, and all the Sully kids are like Mine that’s Mine, and he’s Scared but also like alright 🥺

-Spider spends more time at the Sully’s and outside then at his actual house and the whole time Jake and Neytiri are like who the fuck is feeding this kid who did shit to this kid and they’re like treating him like a wild animal that could be spooked but eventually he’s pretty chill and just part of the squad.

-now one day Spider learns that the house, one one Jake and Neytiri have been building for years to be properly accessible and ready for them in like this big woods property with like dumbass little American ninja warrior obstacle courses for Jake to do just arm shit on (I’m convinced that man is buff as hell) and a swimming pool for the kids but also for Jake to like throw them around in and shit. Neytiri’s got a massive garden and some little farm animals it’s all very quaint Pennsylvania woods shit and it’s closer to a better high school (where obviously they will meet the metkayina kids and we can have that romance plot). Spider learns that house is about done.

-Spiders like “oh better spend my last days before the inevitable heat death of the universe (the departure of my family)” and he’s like trying to keep a happy face. No one can quite figure out what’s wrong with him. Jake and Neytiri asked his aunt and social worker if they could bring him along years ago and everyone assumed they told him. OBVIOUSLY no one would leave him the kids would absolutely riot (and who would weed with Neytiri and listen to music in the mornings and who would pretend to hate The Bachelor with Jake and Lo’ak when Kiri puts it on).

-literally the comical confusion continues like they bring him to the house and show him stuff they built specifically for him. “Oh spider look this is your room, the ceilings are high for climbing and we made the sky have realistic constellations for you and Kiri to look at” and he’s like “wow they really want me to visit, I wish my aunt would drive me. Maybe I can walk over?”

-finally someone (probably Kiri or Lo’ak, bonus points for Neteyam or Tuk) asks why he’s being so weird about the move and he’s finally like “because I’m going to miss you all obviously?” And they’re like “you’re coming?? Idiot?? Why would you miss us?” And he cries obviously. I think this took place at the final night at the old house. Everyone insisted spider stay over for it and they all camped out in the living room. He was excited to be there but very confused as to why they wanted him there.

-someone is like “why would you think we would leave you?” And he just says “I didn’t think you wanted me to come” and that makes everyone cry of course. And I’m convinced that Neteyam and Lo’ak do this thing where when Jake is having a serious talk with them they sit down or kneel so he’s eye level so Lo’ak just makes spider sit and stage whispers “when he’s mad you have to make him feel taller” and it breaks the tension a little bit cause it makes everyone laugh

-so then Jake and Neytiri have to have a talk with him like “oops we thought the adults we knew didn’t treat you well told you we were taking you in, we should not have trusted them, go get ur shit and move it over now actually, fuck them, ur done ur ours now.”

-and he’s very confused as to how it happened really but less then 24 hours later he is watching The Bachelor in the new house while Jake pretends not to care who got the one on one and Lo’ak does a worse job of pretending not to care whose on the group date and Neytiri does the worst job of all pretending not to care about how little shit Spider brought with him

-then we get weird shenanigans of Spider learning to be a regular child with parents who care at this new high school with his siblings, probably some stuff like he doesn’t tell anyone when he stays after school and sends Parent Pick Up Pro Jake Sully (he is a stay at home dad who does CrossFit and builds shit in the garage that he sells on Etsy, he hangs out with Tonowari and Tuk all day you can’t convince me otherwise) into a full meltdown. Or Spider forged his aunts signature on a permission slip As Per Usual and because she’s not his guardian anymore people get confused and Neytiri pulls him aside during their special garden time like why didn’t you just ask us to sign it buddy. We will.

-and we also get ur classic Neteyam and Ao’nung plot and your Lo’ak and Tsireya plot because guess who is at our new school?? Swim team champs Ao’nung, Tsireya, and Rotxo, and Lo’ak is determined to join and impress Tsireya

-Tonowari and Jake are both stay at home dads, Tonowari usually works but right now he’s on dad leave for the baby and he and Jake go on walks with the baby strapped to Tonowari’s chest and it does like become every housewives fav hour of the day, but they are both devoted to their sugar mommies, surgeons Neytiri and Ronal (greys anatomy subplot with Ronal and Neytiri starting out as rivals when Neytiri comes into this new hospital but become friends in the heat of some stressful situation)

-Jake misses when Tuk was home all day with him tbh so I can see him being their full time nanny when Tonowari goes back to work just cause he’s not busy and is obsessed with babies (Buffy subplot where Jake goes back to school and becomes an elementary school teacher/guidance consular to help kids like him and Spider with bad home lives)

-he also was the coach of every sports team Lo’ak and Neteyam ever had and both of them loved and hated it because he would praise them too much then notice it and then criticize them to balance it out

-sometimes he comes to swim team after he finds out Tonowari coaches and Tonowari dubs him like honorary coach and Jake is parked on the side of the pool in his chair like “great butterfly kicks Lo’ak” and Lo’ak is like “YOU WOULDNT KNOW GO HOME DAD”

-Jake will not take that lying down so he’s like “okay see you at home for The Bachelor son” and Lo’ak tries to drown himself out of embarrassment but Tsireya taps him on the arm and asks him if he’s been watching this season and that’s how Jake wingmans Lo’ak into inviting Tsireya over for their Bachelor nights

-that is how Ao’nung finds himself at the Sully house for The Bachelor (Ao’nung hates The Bachelor)

-that is how Neteyam finds himself downstairs in the living room for The Bachelor (Neteyam also hates The Bachelor)

-that is how Neytiri finds herself walking into Neteyams room to ask him if he wants to watch The Walking Dead with her but finding him Busy with Ao’nung (Neytiri also hates The Bachelor)

[lacrimosathedark]

Hello. I love Conner Kent and have compiled pretty much every time Conner and Tim have had any kind of intimacy since he was brought back to canon.

Let’s go in order!

Young Justice 2019 (not to be confused with the OG)

For the record, this is pre-bisexual-realization Tim. tbh I’ve been thinking about just how bitter Tim sounds here despite still being oblivious to how freaking gay he is. Like, seriously “Whatever dumb thing or person makes him happy makes me happy.” Like, why they gotta be dumb, Timbo? While not anywhere near as weird, it also feels very strong for Tim to say with his whole-ass chest “he’s my best friend and I love him” solely given how recently he recovered those memories.  But if they had resolidified into him by that point, it’s not too strange. Stronger things have been said about them and by them.

Conner goes right for Tim. (In fairness, Cassie’s already got him and Bart isn’t in the room yet, but still)

(Also please join me in desperately trying to ignore the Drake outfit for the next few images because Yikes)

Conner was being such a Mom to Bart before this that this just reminds me of when they started Young Justice and he made a comment about how Bart would be a handful for other heroes or parents and Tim just gave him a Look and he was like “Oh, no! I am NOT the mom!” Sure, Jan.

More cute Bart, but it’s just...the thought. Bart knew Tim would want to see pics of Kon punching Luthor in the face and I love that for them.

I couldn’t not include the subsequent hug. THEY’RE SO FRICKIN CUTE.

That’s about it for Young Justice (and thankfully Drake). Next is the Tim Drake Pride Special, most of which is also in Batman: Urban Legends. Though Conner is only in Urban Legends for this one hot sec.

Kon doesn’t end up helping with Bernard because Tim is a stubborn dumbass with a habit for self-sabotage. But he saves the day and gets the boy anyway.

(For the record, I am endgame TimKon 100%, but Tim and Bernard are also very cute together and I’m so excited to see more of them! Honestly, read the new Tim Drake: Robin comics they are so flippin cute and we get to see Bernard being a ridiculous conspiracy theorist like he was on New Earth and it’s actually pretty funny and so cute UGH)

Then this is I think exclusive to the Pride Special, and we are post Bisexual Awakening.

So many people loved this page. Including me. But this part of the special was more about getting Tim to talk to Stephanie again. Because he’s an awkward loser who is trying to find himself and will occasionally just distance himself from people to do so. Despite generally being self aware and knowing better.

Anywho, the following is from Dark Crisis: Young Justice. Which isn’t too bad, but sometimes feels a bit wonky, especially with the girls. But it’s not totally out of character, especially given the Fresh Trauma, and it gets in the boys’ heads. And there’s...A Lot.

This is...well, these are Cassie’s thoughts. The plot hole made here, “Conner never find[ing] out” which shouldn’t be true because both Cassie AND Tim told him about this, is hand waved later because the whole thing with Rebirth is everyone’s memories are Fucked. I mean, Kon and Bart should have not been included in that because they were “off-world” when the N52 reboot happened which is the explanation for the 90s/2000s versions to come back basically as they had been, but y’know. Comics.

But anyway, this is bringing up, in case you live under a rock and were unaware, the time when Kon died and Cassie and Tim started dating for a hot second almost entirely because of their shared grief over Kon. Cassie had literally been in a Superboy cult and Tim was in the desperate process of trying to clone him.

You know. Fun times.

Dark Crisis actually has a lot of Kon@Tim stuff. I mean, plenty of the mutual affection still, but Kon is very focused on Tim, whereas Tim is trying to be more logical and, funny enough, listening to Bart.

Everyone forgets Bart is Super Smart, in part because he’s actually naturally clever but has a goober personality, but also because part of his trauma response to getting his kneecap blow off and having to have surgery done with little to no anesthetic because his metabolism burned that shit right out, he literally consumed an entire library. Like, read every single book there at super speed. Boy Knows Things. Plus he’s experienced to much more trauma since then, he’s become a quick thinker (pun always intended).

But you’re not here for my Bartholomew Is Great lecture, you’re here for TimKon!

Coffee Boy Confirmed

Oh, Tim...

All three of them go flying out of a car and Kon grabs Tim, but fuck Bart I guess? Bart brings this up later but it’s still frustrating. Sure, Tim and Kon are besties, but they love Bart. He’s not a third wheel in their friendship. He’s part of it. Just...sigh.

I love “You know I can run, right?” This is just a little glimpse into while Kon’s brain seems almost exclusively reserved for self pity and Tim, and Tim is still very much more focused on Conner, Tim is still paying attention to Bart (even if he doesn’t feel like it). Tim didn’t need to grab Bart at all, but why not?

Again, Kon brushing Bart off entirely, and Tim acknowledging Bart’s point but still showing preference to Kon.

Tim is So Done with these two and it’s so funny.

Also want to note, “process this with Babs later”. Is Babs acting as his therapist? I think she has the training, or at least a degree in psychology? That would actually be kinda sweet.

This seems so much more “ow my heart” out of context...the context is, Kon is being a dick to Bart. Tim ultimately disagrees with Conner, but not enough for Bart to not storm off, as seen below.

For the record, that’s not Cassie. Which is pretty obvious from the jump. But even here...yikes.

This stunned look (which is oddly glassy-eyed and unnerving tbh...) is in direct contrast to his calm understanding when Cassie actually told him, and then when Tim tried to talk to him about it. He was initially like “that’s kinda fucked up, but I get it and I forgive you”. Which...honestly sounds super big and sweet, but he also had pretty much the same reaction to “I was in a Superboy revival cult” and “I tried to clone you 90+ times and considered tossing you in a Lazarus Pit” so...

What I’m saying is Kon, in true Kent fashion, is a himbo.

But this could set off so many trains of thought here. Cassie told him it was out of grief that she did it--Tim never gets to explain his side. But what if it was a grief reaction for Tim? (It was.) Does that mean he was projecting his feelings for Conner onto Cassie? (Probably.) Tim knows he likes boys now, does that mean he liked Conner? (Likely.) Either way, what does Kon do with this?

Okay, this isn’t TimKon, but these boys are so fucking funny. Have I mentioned that I love Tim Drake? Because I love him. (Also reminds me of the time when Bart’s head was fucked up and he thought he was Batman...look, the 90s were weird, okay?)

They just had a fight and Tim’s first move is to stabilize and comfort Conner. Just....aaaaaaaaaaaa

And then we get to the fourth issue...which is probably my favorite because we’re finally in Conner’s head! We’ve been bopping between Bart and Tim until now (and also Cassie and Cissie elsewhere), but nearly this whole comic is Kon’s POV and it’s both hilarious and a little heartbreaking. I...I love him. He is my Favorite.

So, they’re being attacked by a whole fake Justice League and Titans (I see Roy and Kory and Kyle and Donna and--) and Big Bad is fucking with the sound waves. Until Conner is like, “Okay, but what if we didn’t?”

He’s the one who’s been trying to convince the other two that this fake world is okay, that it’s better and they should stay, despite things being noticeably Off, and despite the distinct lack of Jon, Damian, and Wallace. (As far as I know, Bart doesn’t know Wallace too well, but Kon and Jon at least met and got on okay, and Tim and Damian are...well, they’re at a point in their relationship of begrudging respect and affectionate verbal violence rather than, y’know, actual violence). Bart wants to GTFO, and Tim was wishy-washy at first, but at this point is firmly with Bart and wants out. I mean, he started getting Bad Vibes when Fake Batman said him wanting to date Bernard over Stephanie was “just a phase”. I didn’t include that image despite loving it, but Tim’s internal thoughts are, verbatim, “@#$&#&* what?” which can, I would guess, be translated to, “Fucking what?” Tim is very curse-y in this series.

But I’m getting sidetracked. Kon wants to stay, the others want out, and Kon throws a bitch fit.

“The man was too stunned to speak”

Poor Bart, figuratively and literally carrying this fucking team.

Here we go.

Hey. Hey, Conner. Buddy. What the fuck does that mean, man?

I cannot begin to tell you the number of ways this page hurts me. Just...all three of them are so fed up with everything and aaaaaaaaa

And then Bart rightfully goes off.

Like, that’s not quite true, but it sure do be feeling that way right now. And while even in this post I’ve shown just how much both of them can care and pay attention to Bart, they have always been more focused on each other. At first it was because Tim was secretive and Kon thought he had a stick up his ass meanwhile Conner was new to the world and being actively manipulated by people. And then it’s because they’re best friends. Like, heterosexual life partners levels of best friends. Platonic (or not-so-platonic) soulmates levels of best friends. They both consider Bart their best friend too, but they hold each other above pretty much everyone else. Which, after they’ve all lost some footholds in reality with their seniors missing, those small slights feel more pointed and are getting to Bart a lot more. He’s hurting and Tim’s the only one listening, but Tim is favoring Kon and it’s driving him up the wall. All that frustration and resentment come to a head. Hopefully to be resolved.

I’ve made this a Young Justice Boys post instead of just a TimKon post, but I regret nothing!

For the sake of my image limit I haven’t given everything I love about this issue, but even if you don’t read the rest (which is fair, it gives some people Bad Vibes at the start) please read this issue. Conner’s inner monologue is so stupid and so funny and I love him so much.

But anywhozits, proceeding!

I want it noted that Bart was attacked right before this and is held on the ground but Conner immediately goes for Tim. Unbelievable.

(I refuse to crop out Bart when he’s funny)

I’m, uh, not a fan of Superboy’s face here, but y’know, more him focused on Tim. While Bart is in a similar predicament.

He finally mentions Bart...after he seems to have nearly been able to save himself.

(Yes, the bad guy’s name is Mickey. Yes it’s awful, but that’s the point. I think.)

Now, here’s a big point for me, so I’m breaking down the page.

Mickey-boy conjures up images of new and revised characters (ex. Jon Kent and Harley Quinn) and Tim sees

And the next panel?

He sees Tim looking at the image of his boyfriend...and he changes his tune.

And they they all go off on a speech that’s touching in context but incredibly cheesey out of it. Also a bit obnoxiously meta, but so is this whole storyline.

“What are you gonna do about it, Conner Kent?” I don’t know why that gets me so much but it does.

That’s all for now. Last DCYJ comes out November 15 and I’ll probably edit this post at that point to add what’s in there but I’m impatient and made this whole thing and I need people to love and appreciate these boys.

[torchickentacos]

This April 1st, I'm going to be normal about pokeani <3

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LMAO GOTTEM GET REKT ok so

Can we talk about the characters of the day from AG014. What the fuck. Why are they so weird. They're twins. Forrest and Forrester, surname Franklin. They both go by Franklin for some ungodly reason. They look identical with only a minor difference in their outfits. Forrest is a ranger. Of the park variety and not a pokemon ranger. Forrester, his twin, is not a ranger afaik, I think he's just kind of there???? They were both born right outside of Rustboro, but both brothers only have Johto bug type pokemon, and we know that Forrest has never been to Johto because his whole episode arc is May inspiring him to travel on his own, because he's too scared to. He admires her strength and independence or whatever, but we're on AG014, May's only been doing this traveling gig for like a week and she is comically terrible at it for the entire first season and a half. She’s incompetent, said with utmost love and respect. She's only got a torchic and a wurmple right now. Forrest admiring her traveling abilities is like admiring a microwave's ability to be an industrial kitchen. They also give him some pseudo-romance plot with her, because pokeani May was out here captivating multiple people with her dumbass swag. Drew, Forrest, and Sid being the canon ones I remember off the top of my head, but also probably Dawn tbh, and I’m like 85 percent sure she accidentally homewrecked Pacifidlog Joshua even if he didn’t actually like her but I last saw that episode when I was maybe eight years old, so grain of salt. What the fuck. Anyways, Forrest’s all "Oh, seeing you all independent makes me want to travel with you guys! :)" and between that and the weird crush subplot, you'd think they were setting him up to be this important next traveling companion. He's set up as this important guy who's going to stick around. Nope. We never see this guy or his brother ever again. Never again. He shows up in one episode, doesn't elaborate on literally anything, and then leaves. Let's go back to the fact that he has an identical twin, their names are Forrest Franklin and Forrester Franklin, AND THEY BOTH INTRODUCE THEMSELVES AS FRANKLIN? YOUR FIRST NAMES ARE ALREADY BASICALLY THE SAME THING ANYWAYS. WHAT FRESH HELL. 

More random facts. He looks vaguely like Kenny to me. He made his way into one of those pinterest edits. He shares a name with one of Brock's little brothers. His ship name with May is Bugshipping. You know. Because of the bugs. He's voiced by ANDREW RANNELLS. READ THAT AGAIN. He shares a VA with Harley. I’m just at a loss. Pokeani voice acting is its own rabbithole that leads you places like knowing that the following characters share a voice actor: Drew, Brock, Scott, that Magnemite from Journeys, Ghetsis, and King Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule. Also the red and yellow M&M in the 2008 M&M wii game. There were four voice acting credits for that game. He was three of them. The only character he didn’t voice seems to be the green M&M, which is actually hilarious given the whole Drew and Ghetsis thing. Anyways.

I'm sure I could go on. Pokeani has so many COTDs that are like this (weird). I could talk about the watermelon farmer. I could talk about Samurai. There's Max (no, not that one). I could talk about fucking. sigh. TOMMY/TOMO/WHATEVER HIS NAME IS. WHATEVER THAT EPISODE WAS. Lord knows I could talk about Brianna (girl... /judgmental). There's essays to be written about Mikey and his weird brothers. I could talk about the dead guy that May and Meowth saved and created a new timeline for, because this dude knocked up his wife and then died in a snow-induced train crash before his wife could tell him about their child, and their grandchild looks weirdly like Brianna. But the dead guy is fine. Don’t worry. May and Meowth saved him with the help of a magical locket. Unclear how or why or literally anything. Just not worrying about it. And there’s the whole split timeline thing. Thanks pokeani. Back to other characters. I need to study Roderick and his little bellsprout and wynaut army and the fact that Paul’s his grandson (allegedly) under a microscope. Solidad might as well be a COTD, but lord knows now isn’t the time for The Solidad Rant. Then there's this next guy with a fucked up family situation. Timmy Grimm. He sounds like a Wizard 101 necromancer. Nobody in pokeani gets a last name but for some reason TIMMY GRIMM did. There's Damian and Seymour and Bill and honestly every single person who showed up in OS tbh. Then there's like. Marble. Old Man Swamp. STEVELAND AND HALVERSON. WHAT KIND OF NAMES EVEN ARE THOSE. S T E V E L A N D  AND  H A L V E R S O N . Steveland……………

You guys wanna know the worst part. Not a single damn thing I said here was an April Fool’s joke. None of it. Everything here is true. I have the world’s most fucked up citations list to prove it. Here. Have it. I don’t even care. It’s in MLA 8 format, but probably wrong because I always lose points for messing up on citations on every paper I write. I’m posting this post and then calling it a day. I’m going to go make some coffee. No in text citations because I can't actually be bothered to put that much effort into this tbh, so. Here. World's worst citations list. I don't even care.

Works Cited

Behindthevoiceactors.com. “Bill Rogers (visual voices guide).” Behind The Voice Actors, https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/Bill-Rogers/. Accessed 1 April 2024.

Behindthevoiceactors.com. “M&M's Adventure (2008 Video Game).” Behind The Voice Actors, https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/video-games/MMs-Adventure/. Accessed 1 April 2024.

Bulbapedia. “Forrest Franklin - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia.” Bulbapedia, https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Forrest_Franklin. Accessed 1 April 2024.

Bulbapedia. “Joshua (Coordinator) - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia.” Bulbapedia, https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Joshua_(Coordinator). Accessed 1 April 2024.

[nobody7102]

Normally I don’t post shit like this but it’s come to my attention that some people A) Don’t know how to have a civil discussion and B) Don’t know how to hate on characters without hating on actors(unless the actors actually have done something to deserve it)

(This is a targeted post)

Everyone is allowed to have opinions, in the US that’s the whole fucken point of the first amendment. HOWEVER, when you do clearly use that for your points without any regard for other people’s opinions and belittle others for their opinions that’s when you become hypocritical and the issues start.

You can dislike characters that’s fine, but unnecessarily hate on the actors who’ve done nothing wrong is different(separate Actors from Characters!)

You post your own opinion yet you have no respect or regard for other people. You ignore the valid evidence and reasons others try to show you and spew utter bullshit when actually asked for valid reasons for the hate you give.

We understand, you have so much hatred and disrespect towards anyone that isn’t Matt Murdock/Charlie Cox. The double standard you have are amazing, truly.

Normally I’m not one to police in the Marvel fandom because lord knows so many people already do it but when you spew so much bullshit to the point where I can’t tell your mouth from your asshole, then yeah I’m gonna say something about it.

A) First and foremost leave actors/character’s appearance out of the conversation/equation when you try to make a point. As soon as you bring up how “ugly” someone is you’ve fucken lost, apperence is never a valid/good argument (regardless how “ugly” a character or actor may be)

B) You get so pressed when other fans/people express their love for characters/actors(EX: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page) yet you expect people not to get pressed whe. You show hatred for the character and their IRL counterparts? How the fuck dose that work?

Again I’m not normally one to say “oh that’s not comic accurate” or “go look at the comic/have you even read the comics” bc lord knows I don’t read all the comics, but when you show so much disregard not only for the people/actors who provide you with the content/storylines you are so blatantly scrutinizing I’m gonna be a little bit of a gatekeeper.

Foggy Nelson was the whole reason “Nelson and Murdock” was even a thing to begin with. Foggy was Matt’s only friend until Karen was introduced, he has kept Matt on his feet and out of so much fucken trouble. Without Foggy who the fuck knows where Matt would be.

Karen Page was their first case. Without Karen “Nelson and Murdock” would have ended after they left “Landman and Zach” because they weren’t getting cases. Yes Karen is an amazing investigative journalist, she is the reason we/the public know everything we do about Wilson Fisk. Sure she didn’t “earn” her job at the Bulliten but she sure as shit proved that she deserved to be there.

Not to mention Season 3 Episode 13, Titled “A New Napkin”: after Fisks incarceration Foggy, Karen and Matt sit down in “Nelson’s Meats” and Foggy writes down “Nelson, Murdock and Page” implying that Karen will/wants to become a lawyer or at least help further in some way other than just being an assistant/office manager.

Foggy and Karen helped shape Matt as a character. Don’t disregard their efforts.

Yes character make stupid decisions all the fucking time: the whole point of the show is showing Matt Murdock being a fucking dumbass as he saves the city/Hells Kitchen.

But Matt isn’t the only character that saves the city, sure he does by being a vigilante but Karen and Foggy help the people of the city by being a voice for them as well as with how they help Matt.

Don’t even try to belittle actors because without actors you wouldn’t even have shit to shove in your mouth. The actors are fucking phenomenal so don’t belittle their work because I know you wouldn’t want someone to belittle your work. (Also Deborah Ann Woll and Elden Henson are fucken hot)

Yes everyone is allowed to have their opinions.

But if you disregard THE SOURCE MATERIAL of the effort which you hate upon as well as the efforts of the actors/people who provid you with the content, AND show so much disrespect towards them and other fans. You loose that right the moment you become a bitter bitch about everything.

There is so much evidence that proves how vital Karen and Foggy are to Daredevil/Matt’s story.

Just because they’re small parts doesn’t mean that their efforts are.

(Also quick edit: Elektra is “dead” her not coming back isn’t racially motivated(coming from an Asian American I can speech first hand about expressing racial motivations) it’s The Hand preparing her for rebirth and to come back as Black Sky, calm the fuck down. Not to mention: ELODIE YUNG’S CAREER IS GROWING! She had other projects and priorities currently(yes they could recast her but I’m sure she’s probably open to coming back) she has her new show on Fox, and she’s very clearly invested in other things currently)

[longhands-the-second]

First thoughts on Trimax volume 1

1-

I appreciate eriks. Just like, generally. I love how scruffy he is lol.

I do wonder if he’d let his hair grow out like that if he wasn’t in hiding??? He’s had the same haircut since he was a kid though so idk. He’s very attached to his whole look, it seems.

2-

When and how did he replace his prosthetic? What was that like?

WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS I LOVE HIM

YES INDEED, THAT WAS “FUCKIN STUPID” (Wolfwood says fuck guys omg good for him he deserves it)

I laughed out loud for real though I definitely woke up my roommate on accident oops

Oh god the hair. It’s fuckinh coming. The gut punch. (<- does not know the specifics)

Seeing him with the stubble AND the normal hair is doing something bad to my brain. Fix it. It doesn’t compute.

3-

THE GORLS!!!!

Her hair is. Not exactly bad but that’s not my Meryl.

New Miami, huh? I’m so excited to get absolutely no elaboration on this ever.

Shoutout to the little dude on page 84 who looks like fuckin Wallace

Oh. My god. How many times did he just get shot

OH MY GOD GOOD FOR THEM. God I love milly

Wolfwood is such a chickenshit.

4-

I wonder if Vash has conceptualized himself as human up to this point, and where he’s at with that now?

DAMN I wish I was that balanced

I uh. Man. Wow. I kind of want to make fun of him for doing the most Anime Shit Ever

[redacted]

Babygirl i promise you he knows how plants work lmao

Y’all really weren’t joking about the panty shots

Brad is ALSO a shit. We can’t win here.

Oh. My question is being answered. I don’t like it very much.

On the face of it, I'm pretty solidly in Nico's corner here.

5-

I love how clearly i can hear his little song in my head.

He’s full in monke mode. Just an absolute ape.

AGAIN WITH THE CROTCH SHOTS

love that nightow definitely just got sick of drawing the bullet holes in the coat

Actually looking at this a little harder he did simplify a lot of details. Good refinement, though i do miss the belts.

Vash who the fuck are you calling old. Is the old man in the room with us right now? (Yes)

6-

Oh fucking hell.

I wonder how vash looks at humanity specifically . Is it really something familial? Or is that changing as we progress? I do see how he could be operating from that angle.

My other real question is just how old is he, like, mentally? He really does seem to have the mindset of somebody in his 20s. Knives too? Maybe that’s a thing with them, but i’ll hold off on saying anything conclusive until later. Maybe i’m too quick to say they’re both immature.

I’m sorry it genuinely makes me happy to see characters swear like real people. Wolfwood is so much more fun here.

~~~

I hate that I'm going to get through these so much quicker now, especially now that i’m especially hooked. I’m genuinely considering reading ahead but i think i’ll explode if i do. Time will tell.

I may not get around to coloring pages in the next two weeks and just go absolutely hog wild once my class is over. I have to make my own damn comic for once lmao. Ofc i have 0 impulse control so who knows.

[quack-city]

God I fucking hate Quack-city “i’m scared of soup” so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every post he's in, every text, every comic, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking bald head? Who the hell makes a man bald. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking BALD AS FUCK HEAD that no man has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a discord message from him or a snapchat or a shitty goddamn minion gif, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Scared the fuckshit minion fucker, I like minions". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Minions summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking bald head makes your whole shitty head look like a bare skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy head and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any time he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking discord member in a stupid fucking a/b/o piss pit discord, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the bald head is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking quackbur ship art. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this tumblr user

.

[toastedkiwi]

Scaredy Cat

Summary: Chris and Scott are doing a panel for Ace Comic Con and you scare Chris during it.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Roommate!Reader

“So, you’ve been quarantining with none other than Y/n Y/l/n as well as being with each other,” the interviewer said. “How was that dynamic? Did it mess with the sibling dynamic? Also how did that even come to be?”

“I don’t think her being here and in quarantine with me and Scott messed with anything,” Chris said.

“It was like having a little sister around for me. Our own little sister would not be down for some the things we were doing,” Scott said.

“Y/n’s a team player and would do anything to take me out and make me lose,” Chris said. “Especially in Mario Kart.”

“She takes one for the team,” Scott said grinning. “You should see us playing in the snow and having like a snowball fight. Y/n will just jump on Chris and try to bring him down.”

“But she just can’t,” Chris chuckled. “She just tries so hard to bring me down.”

“Oh my god,” the interviewer said.

“I’ve got videos. I’ve got many videos of them. It’s like the WWE between all of us in that house,” Scott said. “It’s insane.”

“Didn’t Y/n split her lip when we were messing around?” Chris asked looking at the square where Scott is.

“Yeah because you pushed her into a brick,” Scott said.

Chris gasped and said, “no, I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did!” Scott said. “We were outside in the front yard trying to build like an igloo or something and those two kept smacking each other.”

“Really?” The interviewer said.

“And then it got to shoving. He shoved her too hard and her multimillion-dollar-award-winning-musical-genius face disappeared into the snow,” Scott said.

“Oh my god, I remember the blood!” Chris exclaimed.

“It was like that day I came home and walked into the kitchen and there was blood everywhere,” Scott said. “And nobody to be found!”

“Hang on, what?!” The interviewer said.

“Oh, I cut my hand,” Chris said and he showed his palm.

There’s a pink line going straight across his palm at a slight angle.

“How did that happen?” The interviewer questioned.

“He was cutting an orange in his hand,” Scott said. “Instead of using a cutting board and he cut too deep.”

“The doctor said I had a perfect line,” Chris bragged.

“Who took you to the hospital?” the interviewer asked. “Was it Scott?”

“Oh no, I just found the horror show. Y/n took him,” Scott said.

“She was surprisingly calm about the whole situation,” Chris said.

“I bet she called you a dumbass at least once,” Scott said.

“I don’t think so but she did tell me to shut my fucking face up,” Chris said with a smile.

Scott snorted and started wheezing. The interviewer laughed.

“Sorry for the bad word but I’m just saying her exact words,” Chris said. “And I just know she hates being misquoted.”

“Where is she? I’m waiting on her to walk in,” Scott said.

“She’s actually in a meeting in her room,” Chris said and looked at the time from the clock on the desk. “We’ve got 10 minutes before it ends and get the possibility that she comes out of her room. But truth be told, I’m hoping she’s going to bed.”

“She needs to go to bed at reasonable hours,” Scott said.

“I’m trying over here,” Chris said smiling. “She’s on a whole ‘nother level.”

“She is! Do you guys get to hear her music before it’s released into the public?” The interviewer asked.

“I don’t,” Scott said. “I’m lucky if I get snippets or overhear what she shares with Chris.”

“I haven’t heard much. I did hear one song that she allowed me to listen to and give feedback on,” Chris said. “I think she even put in a line I wrote in that song.”

“Really? Are we going to have to add songwriter to your list?” The interviewer asked.

“Give me some time and we’ll see,” Chris smiled.

NINE MINUTES LATER

You managed to quietly sneak out of your room. You heard Chris talking with Scott and the interviewer for Ace Comic-Con. Scott texted you and essentially begged that you scare Chris.

Scott spotted you the second you somewhat appear in the background. He watched as you came closer and closer. You went out of view.

“CHRIS!” You screamed popping up right at Chris’s left.

Chris screamed clutching his chest and scrambling away. He dropped to the floor to his right. You laughed holding onto the table and the back of the chair.

“I FINALLY GOT YOU!” you exclaimed.

You then ran off and Chris can still hear you laughing.

Taglist:

@thefallenbibliophilequote @notbrooklynsblog @plokyu23 @anacrcarvalho @storiesbystarlight @onlyonequeenbitch @y-napotat @realityparty @thatoneperson5000 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @dangerouspiefanplaid @hotchsdarling

Credit to @firefly-graphics for the divider.

[mizunetzu]

ok ok so my request 👉🏻👈🏻

it’s the most obvious thing but i have a full crush on bakugou, so can you please write about him x male reader, where the reader is like.. having nightmares or almost doesn’t sleep because of his quirk (idk like maybe he can hear something special or predict anything bad, doesn’t really matter) but feels safe around bakugou so he always falls asleep around him or even oN him and katsuki is like “😡(❤️)shit whatever” and the reader is kinda shy about that but totally ok with their friends being like “wow bro that’s kinda gay :> ” because he is comfortable with “oh that’s because i aM the gay✌🏻” and his classmates love him and everything and would never mock.. but one time someone from another class was really really rude bcs of that or said that katsuki hates it so the reader starts to avoid bakugou and bakugou geTS MAD about it because reader is just his and no one else’s >:0 maybe a little confession from him in the end, maybe some.. *gay coughing* angy k*ss from him

please make it angsty but with a fluffy ending please please and thank you very much in advance💙 sorry if it’s too big i can’t explain my thoughts properly thaha

Bruh I just realized how long this request is 💀💀 also look at me, writing it like decades after you requested it 😭 pls enjoy I’m actually quite proud of it (also isn’t that gif perfect hahah get it bc the prompt was abt like sleeping and bakugou’s sleeping and-yeah I’ll let u read now)

——————

Bakugou x reader - Angry Insomniacs

⚠️Warnings - mild arguing, it’s not that bad

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

“Why are you always fuckin’ sleeping on me?”

It first started during the Sports Festival. The chicken race and cavalry battle really took a toll on (Y/n), and he was suffering harsh quirk drawbacks. That, being drowsiness.

Somewhere on the stands, (y/n’s) eyes grew heavier and heavier until he realized he had fallen asleep. He also didn’t realized until he woke up that no one disturbed him when he was near Bakugou. Be it fear, or just plain respect, (Y/n) seemed to get the best rest when he was with Bakugou. Not even Iida dared to wake him up when he dosed off on Bakugous shoulder.

He always made it a point to be in Bakugous vicinity when ever he could, taking naps with his head buried in his arms next to Bakugou at lunch, or having his head resting on his shoulder in the dorms.

“Oi! Don’t drift off on me!”

“Mm? Sorry, Bakugou.”

(Y/n) rubbed his eyes as he weakly pushed off the common room couch, stretching and yawning as he did so. “Can I sleep in your room tonight?”

“N-no, dumbass! Fuck kinda question is that, shit-for-brains?!”

“I’ll see you there later then, Bakugou.” (Y/n) gave a slight nod, Bakugou practically foaming at the mouth already, before trotting off the continue his nap in his own room.

Before heading to his room though, he walked into the kitchen to grab a post-nap time snack. Tsuyu, who was already digging in the fridge, stepped back so (Y/n) could grab whatever he wanted.

Tsu eyed (Y/n’s) slightly tousled hair. “Did you take another nap on bakugou-chan? Kero.”

(Y/n) hummed out a “yes.” Tsu hummed back in acknowledgment. Kaminari and Kirishima, unintentionally, started listening in from their place in the kitchen after hearing Bakugou being mentioned.

Tsuyu put a finger to her lip. “Ne, (Y/n)-chan, why do you always take naps on Bakugou-chan? It’s always him, kero, and you go out of your way to make sure it’s only him.”

“Why?” (Y/n) pulled off the carton of milk stubbornly hanging on to the fridge. “Because I like Bakugou. Duh. And I sleep better near people I like.

Kaminari gasped comically while Kirishima sputtered and choked on his words. Not just listening anymore, Kaminari but in. “L-like? Like, ‘like’-like?!”

Kaminari and Kirishima joined Tsuyu and (Y/n) near the fridge. (Y/n) nodded out an “mm-hm.”, whilst grabbing a cup from the cabinet.

“So you’re like...” Kirishima made wild, indecipherable, gestures with his hand. Eventually, after realizing no one was taking the hint, brought his voice down to a whisper.

“...like...gay..?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell us?!” Kaminari grasped at his blond hair. (Y/n) thought for a moment, poured himself a glass of milk, and shrugged.

“I don’t know. You never asked.”

“And you’re so comfortable just telling us now? Why, kero-kero?”

“Because I’m gay as fuuuuuck.” (Y/n) took a swig of milk like it was a shot of whiskey. “And it’s not like it was a secret or anything.”

“Though I don’t think Bakugou knows. He’s too angry about me sleepin’ on him all the time to actually care about me.”

(Y/n) polished off his glass of milk. He set the cup down gently into the sink. “Eh, it’s not like I actually care for what he thinks about me.”

“See ya, I’m gonna finish my nap.”

“Uh-bye”

“Bye-bye.”

“Bye, kero.”

———

(Y/n) yawned as his head lolled off of Bakugou’s shoulder. He hissed, dusting off his shoulder angrily.

“Go sleep somewhere else!”

“I’m just goin’ to the bathroom, Bakugou, I’ll be back. Keep your shoulder warm for me.”

(Y/n) weakly stood up from his chair, and sluggishly walked out of the cafeteria. Damn, his feet felt heavy. Maybe if he hurried to the bathroom, he’d get back in time to catch a few more minutes of sleep before Bakugou exploded on him or lunch ended.

(Y/n’s) shoulder accidentally caught on someone else’s, making him stumble back and rub his shoulder. Monoma tilted his chin up in a mocking fashion.

“Ara? Is that (L/n) (Y/n) from class 1-A I see?”

(Y/n) nodded, only half processing his words as he continued on his way to the bathroom. Monoma followed somewhat behind, spewing words and one-liners that went in one ear and out the other. That is, until,

“Honestly, you would’ve thought that angry blond kid would’ve told you by now”.

(Y/n’s) ear perked up. He halted to a stop, Monoma following suit and shoving his hands smugly in his pockets. “What’s this about Bakugou?”

“Oh? He really didn’t tell you, huh? That’s...” Monoma stifled a condescending snicker. “...surprising.”

(Y/n) stepped closer. “C’mon man, tell me what?”

Monoma sighed. “Well,”

“I heard that Mr. Blasty, matter-o-factly,” Monoma jabbed his pointer finger into (Y/n’s) chest. “Really, really hates it when you sleep on, or near him. Actually,”

“I think he just hates you in general.”

(Y/n) furrowed his brows. He’s lying. He’s lying. He likes him, doesn’t he? Bakugou likes him, or else he wouldn’t have lead him on for so long, right?

Because he wouldn’t let just anyone sleep on his shoulder...right?

“You’re lying.”

“Well, believe what you want, honestly,” Monoma made a show of crossing his arms dramatically. “But you should see the way he shit-talks and glares at you in you’re sleep. It’s not like he can push you off though, you’re ‘just so persistent you’ll never leave him the fuck alone’.”

(Y/n) shoved his hands in his pockets. Monoma raised his hands in defense. “His words, not mine.”

(Y/n) turned on his heel and began to speed walk to the bathroom. Monoma yelled out from his spot in the empty hallway.

“Oh? You don’t want to hear what he thinks about your little crush on him?”

(Y/n) froze. He was under the assumption that everyone but him knew, could he be wrong? He pressed his lips into a fine line, turning around as composedly as he could. Though, he couldn’t mask the fearful curiosity in his eyes.

Monoma grinned. It was an unpleasant, sarcastic grin, one that didn’t look peaceful or pleasing at all.

“Well, I doubt that there’s anything to to say at all, so does it really ma-“

“What...what does he say about me?” (Y/n’s) voice quivered. He knew he was falling into Monoma’s trap, that he was just trying to provoke him, that he was looking for any kind of reaction, but his curiosity got the best of him. It really did, because Monoma’s words stabbed spears into (Y/n’s) heart, word by word.

“Blasty thinks it’s fucking disgusting how you like him, like, as another dude. Like honestly, he thinks you take him for an idiot for thinking he actually didn’t know! And the fact you sleep so close to him know full well you want to get in his pants?! He thinks you’re a pervert! A lazy shit! A fag! Ahahaha!”

Monoma loud cackles were cut short when he suddenly slumped over. He sunk to the ground, revealing Kendo, holding one big hand up and the other to her waist. She most likely knocked Monoma out once she heard his condescending retorts from the cafeteria.

Kendo sighed, bending down the haul Monoma’s arm over her shoulder. Her heavy glare softened once she caught sight of (Y/n’s) buggy eyed face starting at the ground where Monoma was.

“Sorry...he didn’t say anything too harsh, right?” Kendo’s words were gentle, but they sounded practically inaudible to (Y/n’s) traumatized ears.

He wordlessly staggered past her, heading back into the cafeteria to grab his lunch and sit elsewhere. He supposed he wouldn’t bother Bakugou anymore. Since he’s so damn ‘persistent’, he figured he’d stop bothering him for the rest of the day.

He wished he wasn’t so curious about what Bakugou thought of him. Like people say, ignorance is bliss. He could’ve gone his whole high school career without knowing Bakugou hated his every being. How was he going to face him in class knowing every pointer glare, every scoff, every insult was genuine?

(Y/n) felt his throat tighten. For the first time in years, (L/n) (Y/n) was fully awake.

——

It was the first time in many months that (Y/n) didn’t sit in the seat next to Bakugou, napping in his presence. He’d done it every day no fail, that is until this week. Actually, this is the 6th consecutive day he didn’t take a nap at all.

(Y/n) sat placid in his assigned seat, eyes wide and trying to keep awake. He couldn’t sleep without thinking of Bakugou, and every time he did it was always him scoffing and turning his back on him.

Every few seconds, (Y/n) would jolt harshly in his seat, rocking back and forth like a drug addict in withdrawal. He stared at his desk with eyes that could kill someone, and he dug his hands into his forearms to keep himself somewhat awake.

He didn’t hear Kirishima calling his name until he snapped his fingers infront of his face. The snap rang like a gunshot, surprising (Y/n) from his trance so badly he jolted back like he got electrocuted. Kirishima raised an eyebrow.

“You...ok man...?”

(Y/n’s) dry eyes landed fixed onto Kirishima. He relaxed, and let out a breath he didn’t know he was taking. “M’fine...”

His voice cracked like it hadn’t been used for days. (Y/n) let his eyes drift back forward, hunching back over and huddling his body like he was trying to squeeze himself to death. When Kirishima gave him a skeptical glare and crossed his arms, (Y/n) let out a small “m’ just tired, that’s all...” and gave the most pathetic smile known to man.

“If you’re so tired,” Mina, rested her arms on the back of (Y/n’s) chair. “Why don’t you sleep on Bakugou like you do every morn-“

“NO! I-I can’t do that!” (Y/n) whipped his head back, gripping the back of his chair so hard his hand turned white. Mina and Kirishima flinched, noticeably caught off guard with his sudden outburst. “I...can’t...I can’t do that...”

(Y/n) suddenly looked very awake, contrasting the way he looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes open the whole time they were in class.

(Y/n’s) breath steadied as he shut his mouth awkwardly. “M’sorry...for yelling...didn’t mean to...”

(Y/n) scrubbed at his eyes. The rush of adrenaline was already wearing off. Mina set her dainty pink hand on (Y/n’s) hunched form. “Why not...?”

“I just can’t.”

(Y/n) said nothing more. He went back to his occasional jolts awake and scrubbing his heavy eyes every 2 minutes. Kirishima sighed, shaking his head towards Bakugou, before shrugging his shoulders then forming an ‘X’ with his hands.

Bakugou clicked his tongue angrily, turning and facing back forward in his seat.

——

(Y/n) was practically seeing stars by the end of hero’s class.

It was a relatively simple assignment, 1 on 1 sparring, but it caused a lot of quirk use.

He fought both his tired eyes and Midoryia, but ultimately failing due to his harsh quirk drawbacks. Midoryia barely had to break a sweat to have (Y/n) come toppling down.

(Y/n) was ushered back into the horde of students murmuring “don’t mind” and “you did great!”, but he just slithered past and stood a few feet away from them, all the way in the back of the field.

All might was explaining something (Y/n) couldn’t quite hear. Not only because he was standing so far away, but because his hearing had been considerably wonky, not to mention the hissing, ringing sound irritating his eardrums.

“Oi.”

And even if the ringing had stopped and he could hear, his brain was too tuckered out to remember anything past five seconds ago.

“Oi!”

Gosh, speaking of his brain-

“OI! SHIT-FOR-BRAINS! YOU GONNA KEEP IGNORING ME OR YOU GONNA TELL ME WHY YOU’VE BEEN AVOIDIN’ ME?!”

Bakugou set off a small explosion. The blast wasn’t nearly as loud or powerful as in combat, but to a tired mans ears, it sounded like nukes. The ringing in (Y/n’s) ears spiked, and he cupped his ears tightly.

“B-Bakugou, nows not-“

“OH, YOU TRYNA TUNE ME OUT BY COVERIN’ YOUR EARS NOW?!” Another explosion. Bakugou’s gauntlets had been out for repairs since his last hero training, so (Y/n) could clearly see the glowing red and yellow spark from his fist. The ringing spiked again. His vision burned with sparks.

(Y/n) winced, saying nothing, and brought his hands to rub at his eyes. Bakugou eyebrow twitched.

“STOP IGNORING ME!”

Bakugou brought his hand out, his gloved hand starting to glow red with his next explosion. (Y/n) couldn’t take it anymore.

He stumbled forward, and grabbed Bakugou’s wrist. He shoved it out of the way, but his hand still ignited and set off a blast that propelled them straight to the ground.

“G-get off-a me!” Bakugou tried pushing (Y/n) off with his free hand.

(Y/n) pinned Bakugou’s glowing right hand by the wrist, using his other to hold down his other shoulder. (Y/n) would’ve never done something as ballsy and stupid as this, but he was too tired, too done, too much in pain to care.

“What are you actually trying to say!? All that stupid extra yelling and petty insults, they get you fucking nowhere! Spit it out! Or does trying to intimidate every single fucking person you meet just self-satisfaction?!”

Bakugou growled. He grabbed at (Y/n’s) shoulders, pushing off of him and pinning (Y/n) to the ground in his place.

“Then what about you, huh?!” Bakugou was angrily spitting at (Y/n’s) face. “Why the fuck did you stop getting enough sleep for your quirk?! Are you just that dumb that you stay up at night?!”

“I don’t wanna hear it from a stupid fucker like you, who can’t even take care of himself!”

(Y/n) hissed. He freed his dominant hand from Bakugou’s vice grip and pushed at Bakugou’s face, grabbing a fistful of his hair. “All you ever do is shit talk! Shut up! No one thinks it’s fucking cool!”

“What the hell are you even talking about?!”

The two wrestled on the ground, angrily grabbing and tugging at each other, and rolling around on the floor. There were shouts of “get Aizawa-no, get midnight-sensei!” and “All might, stop them!”, but the two were so caught up in their fight they couldn’t hear anything.

“Can’t you ever learn to mind your fucking Business?!”

“What the fuck does that even have to do with this!”

(Y/n) flipped Bakugou over one more time. He pushed him down by the forehead, pushing his head down into the ground while Bakugou flailed and kicked from underneath him.

“SHUT UP! WHY DO YOU EVEN FUCKIN’ CARE, BAKUGOU?! WHY DO...w-why do...wh...”

A sweet, sweet smell flooded (Y/n’s) senses. It smelt relaxing, tantalizing, it smelled like sleep. It smelled like sleep. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep so bad. Maybe he could just...

(Y/n) slowly sank from his spot on top of Bakugou, flopping on top of his body and going completely slack. Bakugou’s eyes widened, and he covered his nose.

Midnight strutted from above the two, waving away a few stray wisps of her mist. Bakugou hacked out a new breath, while (Y/n) laid on top of him, peacefully asleep for the first time in days.

“Well, it seems like you two already know without me saying it.” Midnight motioned over to two small robots carrying a stretcher. “I’ll just take him to recovery girl and he should wake up in-“

Bakugou pursed his lips and wrapped his arms around (Y/n’s) sleeping figure when Midnight extended her arm towards them. He tightened his arms around (Y/n).

“I’ll do it. S-since this piece of shit attacked me first and...I’ll just do it-!”

Midnight eyed him knowingly, before waving him off and mumbling something about ‘youth’.

——

(Y/n’s) eyes fluttered open. His body felt like it was broken in every way possible. It was so sore, it hurt even thinking about moving. (Y/n) laid there, with his eyes half open, contemplating whether or not he should close them again.

Would he be able to sleep, though? Even if he’d started sleeping near Bakugou as a ‘don’t-wake-me-up’ measure, it slowly stopped being just that and more a matter of he felt safe and comfortable around him. In a way, he’s become a bit dependent on him, which is probably a bad thing, but he didn’t care.

Sleeping with Bakugou felt best. But that wasn’t an option, now was it?

(Y/n) pursed his lips, an involuntary groan rumbling from his tired vocal cords. He continued staring at the blinding nurse office lights, staring until he saw spots in his vision.

“Stop doing that-do you wanna go fuckin’ blind?”

(Y/n) flinched. He hated the way that familiar, aggravated voice still stirred butterflies into his stomach. He glanced to his side, as if to make sure he wasn’t just hearing things.

He met eyes with Bakugou.

“Bout’ time you fuckin’ woke up. Been waitin’ forever, shit-for-brains.”

(Y/n) averted his eyes back up to the blinding floodlights. Bakugou scowled. “Oi! Don’t ignore m-“

“How long were you here for?”

Bakugou went silent. It was his turn to avert his eyes, albeit more angrily.

“...I was here since you fuckin’ fainted in class, idiot. I even carried your stupid body here from the dumbass carrier bots.”

(Y/n’s) eyes softened, unlike Bakugou’s, who glared at the floor just beside the chair he was sitting in. (Y/n) checked the big black clock mounted on top of Recovery Girl’s desk.

It was 6:00 pm.

If Bakugou was telling the truth, he’d been sitting there waiting for him to wake up for 4 hours straight.

“Bakugou-its been hours since class ended-you should be at the dorms by now-! Why did you-“

“Well if you told me why you suddenly started avoiding me we wouldn’t be here right now!”

(Y/n) let his mouth fall closed. Bakugou scoffed. “Well?!”

(Y/n) opened his mouth, but it clamped shut when Monoma’s words echoed in his mind. Bakugou looked at him with an expectant face.

“I can’t tell you.”

“WH-“ Bakugou sputtered angrily. “COURSE YOU CAN! THE FUCKS STOPPING YOU!”

“Nothing I-I just can’t!”

“WHY!? WHY NOT?!”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

“OK AND?! I LOVE YOU TOO!”

“THEN WHATS THE PROBLEM HERE!” (Y/n) shouted, before he cupped his mouth in realization. Bakugou’s eyes went wide aswell. “Wait I didn’t mean that-“

“YEAH! WHATS THE FUCKIN PROBLEM HERE?!” Bakugou recovered from his initial shock, already back to yelling. (Y/n) furrowed his brows with a blush.

“Wh..wait so-“

“I LIKE YOU, YOU LIKE ME, SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU STOP SLEEPING ON ME?!”

“Wait but...” (Y/n’s) voice was barely above a whisper. “Don’t you, y’know...not like it...when I do that-?”

“DUMBASS! WHERE’D YOU GET THAT FROM?!” It seemed like Bakugou got angrier and angrier each passing second. It was hard to tell what (Y/n) found so attractive about him.

“From...from Monoma...?”

Bakugou looked angrier than ever. (Y/n) raised an eyebrow. “YOU-I CAN’T BELIEVE-! I-! FUCK IT!”

Bakugou snarled and practically shoved his face onto (Y/n’s), angrily stealing his breath away with a kiss. The kiss, surprisingly, was soft and gentle, despite Bakugou’s previous intensity. It seemed to calm Bakugou down, and cheer (Y/n) up.

The two slowly parted for air. It was quiet for a second, something that rarely happened near Bakugou.

“I thought you hated me...”

“W-why the fuck would I hate you...dumbass.” Bakugou rested his forehead on (Y/n’s) shoulder. His spiky tufts of blond hair tickling (Y/n’s) face.

“Because Monoma said so...?”

“I’m gonna kill that bastard.” Bakugou snarled, climbing into the cot (Y/n) was in. He pushed (Y/n) back down into the pillow, pulling up the white blanket and laying down next to him. He guided (Y/n’s) head-a tad bit forcefully-to his chest. “...after we sleep.”

Bakugou shut his eyes, half irritated and half embarrassed, while (Y/n) chuckled tiredly. He nuzzled his head into Bakugou’s chest.

“Goodnight, Bakugou.”

——

Extra:

Monoma walked into class 1-B the next morning. He yawned, still a bit tired, when he ran straight into someone.

“Hey, copycat fucker.”

Monoma looked up. The class was empty, with no one but Bakugou standing infront of him.

Fuck.

Needless to say, Bakugou got another 3 days of house arrest.

——————

Bru this was so long ong

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

thoughts on bi!zuko? it's one of my biggest hcs

IN THIS HOUSE, WE LOVE AND SUPPORT Bi!Zuko

headcanons: 

I know that there’s comic stuff about Sozin being homophobic, but I am within my rights to ignore it. If people can move rocks with their mind and if dragons can exist, there can be normalized gay people damn it. 

So it’s not really a big deal to question your sexuality or to be gay/bi, but within the Fire Nation upper class you don’t really talk about it. There’s a heteronormativity problem, but not aggressive homophobia. 

When he’s younger, Zuko doesn’t really think about anyone like that. He’s got firebending training, sword training, and then he’s crowned prince all of a sudden, so he’s kind of got other stuff going on. 

Mai has a crush on him when she’s 12 and he’s 13 and he starts to develop some puppy-crush feelings from her. 

They do a cute pre-teen date where they play with knives outside the palace and climb on roofs (Maiko does parkour on their dates, I don’t make the rules) 

Mai’s really the only person he’s had feelings for by this point (again, he’s 13 and he’s been pretty busy being a prince and all to think about that sort of thing) 

Then the whole banishment thing happens and he really does not have time to start thinking about those things. Hunting the avatar is a full time gig. Angst baby Zuko does not have time to sit and wonder if he thinks boy are cute.

(aside from this one time when his ship docked at this port and there was a cute sales boy at the shop they got their supplies from who made 14 year old Zuko blush just a little too hard. He made the decision to put a pin in that for later) 

Then Zuko’s on a ferry to Ba Sing Se and there’s this crime boy aggressively flirting with him. The avatar hunt is on hold. It’s later, so Zuko takes that mental pin out. 

Zuko can have a little ferry make out sess with mouth wheat crime boy, as a treat (let this boy have some semi-normal teenage experiences damn it)

To Jet’s credit, he’s a good kisser. But Zuko notes that he tastes like grass. 

And you know, that whole thing didn’t end well. 

Not your usual experience to have the guy who was your bisexual awakening burst into your work and (rightly) accuse you and your uncle of being firebenders and then attack you with hook swords, but Zuko’s never had the best luck with anything. 

Jet gets arrested and Zuko doesn’t see him again, but he can’t really ignore that whole ‘oh man I guess I am into guys’ thing anymore. And it’s not like he’s got other stuff to do in Ba Sing Se besides make tea and stave off Iroh’s shopaholic tendencies. 

Immediately after the Jet incident, Zuko’s more on his guard about potential threats, but what do you know? That girl just thought you were cute you paranoid dumbass. 

He goes on the date with Jin and it’s awkward as hell, but he does like it when she kisses him. Honestly, he’s not really sure what he’s supposed to feel. This newfound attraction to guys is still in the back of his brain and Zuko just never thought about it seriously before. 

After the date he starts letting himself take more notice of guys and girls in the teashop now that he’s pretty sure people aren’t onto them about being firebenders. 

And you know.... good looking customers are good looking customers. Guys and girls. 

But you know, Zuko is the king of not knowing who the fuck he is, so it’s still confusing, 

And then the avatar pops back up and Zuko’s got a different identity crisis to focus on. The boy has a morality coma to get to and questioning his sexuality is put on the back burner for a bit. 

Post-morality coma, Zuko’s feeling way more comfortable. Not just in terms of letting himself be happy in Ba Sing Se serving tea with his uncle, but with his sexuality as well. 

Zuko thinks about his experiences and maybe, just maybe, he could be a teenager who goes on normal teenager dates and has normal teenage relationships, maybe with guys or girls. He lets himself have that notion for a little while. 

He considers telling Iroh, but not quite yet. 

He doesn’t get the chance after everything happens in the catacombs. 

Then it’s the case where he has a more general identity crisis to deal and just kind of pushes the realization that he’s bi to the back of his mind. 

Zuko and Mai get together and Zuko remembers how much he liked her when they were younger. And with everything else stressing him out, she’s there to help him feel like less of a stranger in his own home. 

(Mai’s also Zuko’s best friend, regardless of any romance) 

At Ember Island he does have jealousy issues, but later when Mai asks him why he was so fixated on that guy at the party Zuko starts describing exactly why those guys were attractive and how he logically would have been at least a little jealous “I mean come on Mai did you see that one guy’s biceps? I’m only partially blind” 

Mai listens to this and just goes “do you want to ... tell me something?” 

Zuko has a “oh yeah I’m pretty sure I’m bi, forgot to mention it, had other stuff going on” moment 

Mai, who was taught to be proper and that her options were to go into politics or marry some man above her station, is now considering that both? Both is an option? Maybe? 

Cut to Zuko when he joins the gaang. His bisexuality is just kind of something he doesn’t think is a big deal and doesn’t mention it. 

On the air balloon to the Boiling Rock, Zuko asks Sokka about Yue and they end up talking about relationships. 

Zuko mentions that he had this brief thing with a guy in Ba Sing Se but it didn’t really end well 

Sokka: “wait did you say guy? I thought you had a girlfriend?” 

the SWT is generally pretty accepting, but Sokka spent most of his life living in a village without many boys his age and didn’t really consider that as a possibility. 

(Sokka then considers how much he thought about the Boulder after watching the Earth Rumble VI match and thinks ‘yeah there’s probably something there’) 

Sokka asks Zuko more about bisexuality. Most of Zuko’s answers are along the lines of “Sokka go to sleep I don’t know who the Boulder is and I don’t care about his badger-mole tattoo”

Suki, Zuko, and Sokka form the unofficial ‘cool and bi club’ 

Zuko doesn’t officially come out to Iroh, but Iroh catches him looking at Sokka one day a while after he and Mai broke up (deciding they were better as friends) and makes a comment about how Zuko needs to take time for himself.

“Lord Zuko, you should not spend your teenage years with nothing but work. Go out, find a nice young lady to take out.” “Uncle...” “..or young man” 

And yeah, a few years after the war ends and a while after he and Mai end their relationship, Zuko’s not really in the position to deny that he thinks that Sokka is inhumanely attractive and funny and kind

But yeah

bi!Zuko ftw 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED

[soft-october-night]

The Love Interests in the Works of Jane Austen: An Assessment

This is an "extremely scientific" and "thoroughly researched" ranking based on personality, money, family and connections, and is a bit of a blend between the book characterizations and the film characterizations (and is in no way only based on my own opinions). Here we go, grouped by book but not much else.

Edmund Bertram: absolute trash. His family has treated you unbelievably shitty since day one and not only has he BARELY noticed, he ALSO has treated you shitty. Will fall in love with someone beautiful and fun and when she dumps him will come crawling to you for a rebound. His passion for you is so lackluster that even the esteemed author who wrote about it barely spared a paragraph on your relationship. Has a job but only because his dad owns the land the church is built on. You’ll gain no connections or family by marrying him, since he’s literally your cousin.  0/10

Henry Crawford: There IS such thing as too much fun, and that is never clearer than in this man, who will try to seduce you as a game, freak out when his middling overtures don’t work and then try and seduce you “for really real” this time. You will definitely move up in the world if you marry him, and if you play your cards right it seems like his sister is also just REALLY into you, so see how that goes. Life will be pretty okay until you find him in bed with one (or more, who knows) of your relations. 3/10, 8/10 if you’re into that

John Willoughby: Will be like something out of a romance novel, you’re thinking he’s going to propose and then he just fucking ghosts you and embarrasses the fuck out of you at a party by acting like he doesn’t know you. Somehow marry him (congrats on the inheritance you must have, btw) and get ready to take a backseat to the whims of his aunt for as long as she lives. 1/10, at least you get to live in a nice house.

Edward Ferrars: Oh Edward. He’s a bit of a mess, isn’t he? Super kind, your family loves him, he made a bunch of stupid decisions in his youth that are coming back to bite him in the ass. He is loyal to an absolute fault, but you luck out when his fiance turns out to be a bit of a gold digger and dumps him when his mom disowns him. He doesn’t have a job and neither do you, but his family doesn’t wanna speak to him (lucky you!) and you’ll be happy and poor together if you two can work on your communication skills. 7/10.

Colonel Brandon: He’s got a nice house, the respect of his friends and the community, and he has a LOT of passion. He’ll give your sister’s penniless husband a job, dramatically rescue you from a rainstorm, make sure his dead girlfriend’s daughter is happy and taken care of even after your ex fucks HER over too, and is all around a pretty decent guy. Just. Uh. Maybe, kinda, sorta, needs to go after women his own age and is probably with you because you remind him of his dead girlfriend. 5/10 with the wildly inappropriate age gap, 9/10 without it.

Mr. Wickham: Please don’t. He’s a thirsty bitch who lives for drama and you think he’s fun until you find out he tried to sleep with one teenage girl and is making eyes at your fifteen year old sister behind your back. Marry him (through the grace of mysterious benefactors, cause he ain’t marrying anyone unless he’s paid the right price) and get ready for a life of being surrounded by military men in the north of England while your husband tries to fuck everything that moves. Work that out somehow with him and you might actually be happy. 0/10.

Mr. Bingley: He is a softboi who will do literally anything his friends tell him to do. He is SUPER rich, and marrying him will throw your sister’s into the path of other rich men and he is REALLY into you, but get ready to be sucking up to his sisters for literally the rest of your life. Unless he can ship Miss Bingley off to live with Mrs. Hurst, have fun trying to wage a war of barely concealed insults over the breakfast table every morning, and if you’re marrying Bingley I’m sorry but that is a war you just cannot win. He doesn’t have a job but he does have five thousand a year, and neither of you can manage money. You’ll love simply and deeply and be happy as any two can be. 8/10.

Mr. Collins: Last resort to rescue yourself from a life of being a burden to your parents until they die and then having to become a governess or something. Has a job but never shuts up about his boss. You will have to rearrange everything in your house according to his boss’ will. 2/10

Mr. Darcy: Is a anxious disaster who doesn’t know how to talk to girls at parties and needs to learn how say no to going out when he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t have a job because he’s a landlord; he owns half of Derbyshire and has ten thousand a year, but turns out that all of that money and land can’t buy tact or charisma. Doesn’t know how to flirt and thinks he’s doing a great job (he’s not). He’ll propose to you out of the fucking blue one day by insulting literally everything about you, but don’t worry! Reading his letter unlocks Darcy 2.0. This patched version gives him humility, a personality, and he WILL gain the ability to rescue your family from utter ruin. Marry him and enjoy a life of luxury and witty ripostes, but beware! You ARE going to have to deal with Lady Catherine until the day she dies, not to mention Caroline Bingley’s barely concealed contempt every time you meet in polite company. Darcy 1.0 3/10, Darcy 2.0 8/10.

Captain Wentworth: Absolutely top tier. Has a job, has earned everything he has, including a fortune and the respect of his peers, superiors, and subordinates. His sister and her husband are practically the only happily older married couple you know, his friends are super fun and nice (even the dour one with all the poetry knows how to have a polite conversation). If you dumped him ten years ago on the advice of your almost comically shitty family yeah, he’s going to hold a grudge, but he WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU and the MOMENT he gets over his pride will do everything and anything in his power (including leaping the bounds of propriety!) to win you back. Based on his love, money, and connections you should RUN, not walk, into his arms TODAY and allow him to rescue you from your family and whisk you off to see the world on his ship, at least until Napoleon busts out of Elba. 12/10

Mr. Eliot: Will lose all your old schoolfriend’s husband’s money in a bad deal, has debts out the ass, might be trying to get with either you or the woman your dad has been flirting with for the last few years, you’re not sure. Is totally ruining the rekindling relationship you’re trying to get going with your far superior ex. He wants the land and title your dad has and will stop at nothing to get it. Marry him and you can move back into your old house (maybe? it’s a little unclear what with all the debts) but have every single cent your mother left you immediately put into some dumbass scheme. 1/10

Henry Tilney: another softboi who just wants to act in the school play while his dad and brother plan to ship him off to military school and berate him for not joining the football team. Bring him shopping with you to pick out dresses, spend long nights over tea chatting about books. Has a job, but again, only because his dad owns the land the church is on. Loves you even though you have some very strange ideas about his house, and will forgive you when he realizes you thought his dad either murdered or imprisoned his mom. If he can find the courage to tell his dad to fuck off and let him live his own life, expect a long, happy marriage of snuggling together in a window seat somewhere, sipping tea and reading. 9/10

John Thorpe: Trash bastard man. Peaked in whatever equivalent of high school he had. Shitty and rude to everyone, would post racist memes on facebook and start fights if he could, all while being shitty and manipulative and CREEPILY possessive of you. -2/10

Robert Martin: A sweet himbo farmer who just wants to love and worship you. He has a job, is pretty rich, and while his connections may not be above his class, he’s an earnest boy who wants to take care of you and be taken care of in turn. Marry him the first time, absolutely do NOT let your friend influence you against him, because who KNOWS if you will get a second proposal! (You will, he likes you THAT much.) Marry him and enjoy a sweet, simple life of exactly zero drama (unless your friend is around). 7/10

Mr. Elton: Trifling gold digging trash who doesn’t know what the word no means. Do not marry, unless you want to be censured by decent, hardworking people -1/10

Frank Churchill: Knows how to have fun, but you know there’s something more going on. He won’t let you see his letters, he sends out secret notes, then he smiles and tells you that everything is totally a okay. Another boy with ANOTHER overbearing aunt, only this one doesn’t know how to say no. Marry him if you’ve got the money, but he will always be longing after the poor girl next door that auntie wouldn’t let him married, and would have cheated on you already if she was into it. 3/10

Mr. Knightly: He’s your brother in law and you’ve known him almost your whole life, so that’s a little sus, but he is also the ONLY person in your entire life who knows how to tell you no (and you really, REALLY need to be told no sometimes.) He is extremely wealthy, but more importantly he’s kind and caring about people who are considered “beneath” him. He will break his weird no dancing rule to dance with your shy friend, he will ream you out for being shitty to unwed spinsters who value your opinion, and somehow has the correct read on everyone all the time. You will gain no connections by marrying him, since the two of you already have the exact same connections anyway, but the two of you should be content in a test of wills that will last a lifetime. You’ll be very happy as long as he doesn’t get super pedantic and start correcting you about everything. 7/10

[babygirl-diaz]

We've read SamBucky meets Young Bucky and SamBucky meets Young Sam, now imagine Young Sam meets Young Bucky, that'll be legendary lmao

((Hey, anon! I hope this finds its way to you. I basically wrote this as crack. Hope you like it!))

***

“Buck?” Sam asked as he answered the phone. “You must be a mind reader because I was just about to call you. I have a big problem!”

“I have a big problem!”

Their same declaration surprised Sam, but Bucky’s problem couldn’t be as big as his, so he said as much, “I’m sure my problem is bigger than yours.”

“Yeah, don’t be so sure. Because I have an enormous problem.” Bucky huffed.

“Wait… Are we still talking about our problems?” Sam asked when he realized their conversation may have deviated to a very different route.

“Look, Sam, I don’t have time for this. You need to get to New York. Stat.” Bucky practically ordered, making Sam frown.

“I can’t,” Sam replied.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Bucky asked with an edge in his voice.

“I have a… house guest,” Sam replied as he turned around and looked at said guest, who was currently tied to the dining room chair. No, that’s not how Sam normally treated his guests, but this was an exception.

“A house guest? You are such a liar,” Bucky scoffed.

“You don’t have to believe me but it’s the truth.”

“Who is it?” Bucky asked.

“I can’t tell you that. You wouldn’t believe me if I did,” Sam replied and his own voice sounded nervous to him.

“Trust me, after what I’ve seen today, I’d believe in unicorns if you told me they existed,” said Bucky.

The line went quiet for a few seconds, and Sam wondered if Bucky had hung up. He had to admit; he was getting a little worried about his friend. “Bucky?”

“Fine, I’ll come to D.C. Give me a couple hours.” With that, Bucky hung up before Sam could say anything.

“Hello? Bucky?” Sam called out. “Dammit,” he mumbled under his breath.

Sam turned to his tied-up “house guest” and frowned at him. Said house guest was currently struggling in the chair. Sam walked over to the chair and slowly removed the duct tape from his mouth and the man glared at him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yelled. “Free me right now!”

“Not until I figure out who--- what you are,” Sam replied.

“I am YOU!” the man replied. Well, he was more like a kid. “Isn’t that obvious?”

“How is that possible?” Sam asked, “You are clearly some kind of--- shapeshifter!”

“Shapeshifter? They don’t exist!” The kid scoffed. He then released a deep breath and said, “Look, I know this is crazy--”

“That’s an understatement”

The kid pointedly ignored him, “--BUT I think I somehow ended up in the future. I mean, look at you, you’re old.”

“Excuse you!” Sam balked.

“I mean, you’re older than me…”

“How are you so chill about this?”

“You’re freaking out enough for the both of us,” the kid replied.

***

It took Bucky a little more than a few hours to get there.

“Well, about damn ti--” Sam said, opening the door, but stopped mid-sentence when he saw Bucky wasn’t alone.

Sam’s jaw dropped open, and his eyes widened when he saw the person beside Bucky. “What the fuck?” Just like Sam, there was a younger version of Bucky standing right in front of him.

Young Bucky pushed Buck aside and got in front of him. “Hey there, doll. I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but you can me Bucky,” young Bucky introduced himself and held out his hand in front of him.

Dumbfounded, Sam took his hand and shook it, but young Bucky held his hand for a little longer than necessary, and then, much to Sam’s surprise, he kissed the top of his hand.

Behind him, Bucky let out a groan.

“Seriously? Do you flirt with everything on two legs?” Bucky asked, sounding exasperated.

“I don’t discriminate, Metal Man,” young Bucky replied

“Metal Man?” Sam raised an eyebrow

“He’s part Metal, part Man, so Metal Man,” young Bucky told him excitedly

“Wow, you really gave that a lot of thought,” Sam said sarcastically.

“Ha! I like y--” young Bucky stopped mid-sentence and his eyes widened almost comically like a cartoon character. “Whoa,” he blinked at something behind Sam, and then, much to Sam’s surprise, he hip-checked him out of the way and invited himself into his apartment.

Sam turned around to find young Bucky carefully approaching young Sam.

“I think I’m in love,” he announced.

“What is happening?” Bucky asked. “Is that--”

“Yep, that’s the younger version of me,” Sam replied, looking at the kid in his military uniform.

“Shit… what is happening here?” Bucky asked again. “Where did they come from?”

“Hell if I know,” Sam replied.

Young Bucky was now on one knee in front of young Sam and staring up at him.

Sam could only see his younger self, who was staring back at young Bucky like he had hung the moon for him. And he suddenly seemed to have forgotten that he was tied to a chair.

“Hi,” young Sam whispered.

“Hi,” young Bucky replied. “I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky." He introduced himself but this time there wasn’t any flirtatiousness in his voice.

“I’m Samuel Thomas Wilson, but you can call me Sam.”

“Sam,” young Bucky repeated the name like he was testing it out. “You’re beautiful, Sam.”

Young Sam shyly looked down and bit down on his lips. “You’re not too bad-looking yourself,” he said.

“Sweetheart, do you have a dame or a fella in your life?” He asked.

“Dame or fella?” Sam whispered to Bucky, who just stood there stoic, not saying a word.

“No, I’m single,” young Sam replied. “I mean, this one guy just asked me out, but I was plucked from my timeline and thrown here before I could go on said date.”

“Well, I thank whatever god is out there for that,” said young Bucky. “I would have been really heartbroken if you were taken.”

“Why?” young Sam asked and bit down on his bottom lip.

“Because I think I may be in love with you.”

“What?!” Sam screeched

“Excuse me?!” Bucky asked at the same time.

Both Sam and Bucky looked at each other and rolled their eyes before turning back to the two young versions of themselves.

“I think I might reciprocate those feelings,” young Sam replied, much to Sam’s surprise. He doesn’t remember being this naïve and a complete dumbass.

“Great, they’re in love,” Buck grumbled beside him.

“They’re not in love… they’re just dumb kids,” Sam huffed.

“Which asshole tied you up like this?” Young Bucky asked as he untied Sam

“Him,” young Sam nodded towards Sam.

Young Bucky turned around and glared at him. “How dare you tie up the love of my life?”

“The love of your life?” Sam almost choked.

“Yes, Sam here is the one I have been looking for my whole life.” Bucky took young Sam’s hands as he stood up from the chair and the two of them stared at each other with love and awe. And then they were kissing...

Sam wasn’t sure which one of them initiated the kiss, but soon they were all over each other, kissing like they were two drowning men, holding onto each other for dear life.

“And now they’re kissing,” Bucky commented beside him.

“Wow, thanks for the commentary, Buck. I, of course, can’t see for myself that they’re kissing,” Sam scoffed.

“What do we do about them?” Bucky asked, clearing his throat.

The longer they kissed, the more awkward Sam felt, standing next to his best friend, who he most definitely didn’t want to kiss.

The two kids pulled apart from the kiss, but stayed close to each other and giggled like a couple of schoolgirls. They were whispering something to each other that Sam couldn’t hear.

“Have you ever thought about--” Sam didn’t finish his thought.

“About kissing you?” Bucky finished it for him. “Yes, I have.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Sam asked.

“Didn’t want you to kick my ass,” Bucky replied.

That made Sam chuckle. “I wouldn’t have kicked your ass. Not for that, anyway.”

Soon Bucky’s metal hand found its way to Sam’s, and he took it and intertwined their fingers.

Young Bucky and young Sam were kissing again and Sam suddenly had the urge to kiss his own Bucky. Their young versions soon pulled away and took each other’s hands before coming over to Sam and Bucky.

“We have decided that Sam is coming with me back to my timeline,” young Bucky informed them.

“Uh no, he’s not,” Sam replied. “You don’t exactly come from a tolerant time.”

“I have to agree with Sam,” Bucky chimed in.

“Fine! Then Bucky is coming with me,” young Sam huffed.

“He can’t,” Bucky told him. “He’s not from this universe.”

“What?!” Sam asked.

“He comes from a universe where Peggy Carter became the Captain, not Steve.”

“What the hell?” Sam blinked at young Bucky. A person from a whole other universe. That was crazier than his younger self coming here from the past.

“Wait, you’re friends with Captain America? You’re that Bucky Barnes?!” Young Sam asked, surprised.

“No, that’s him,” Sam said, pointing at his Bucky.

Young Sam completely ignored him and grinned at Bucky. “That’s the coolest thing ever. My boyfriend is a famous historical figure.”

“Your boyfriend?” Bucky, Sam’s Bucky, choked.

And then young Sam and young Bucky were kissing again.

“Wait till he finds out that you’re Captain America,” Bucky chuckled.

Sam glared at him in return. “We’re not telling them anything. We don’t know what the repercussions will be!”

Young Sam and young Bucky were so lost in each other that they didn’t even hear Sam and Bucky talking about them. The young ones finally pulled apart to catch a breath.

“I’m not going anywhere without him,” young Sam adamantly told him and took young Bucky’s hand again.

“I’m not going anywhere without him either,” added young Bucky. “I believe I was sent here to meet the love of my life.”

“He is not the love of your life,” Sam sighed. “You’re kids. How old are you again?”

“I’m 20!” Young Bucky replied.

“I’m 18,” said young Sam. “We’re not kids.”

“Metal Man and Not Sam--”

“Hey! I am Sam.” Sam glared at him.

Young Bucky smirked “Metal Man and Not Sam, you are going to figure out how to keep us together.”

“What?” Bucky and Sam asked at the same time.

“You’re gonna figure out a way to keep us together because if you don’t then we’ll just stay here and mess up your timeline,” young Sam added.

“This is a nightmare. This cannot be real,” Sam said, horrified.