#i’ve been saying for a while that i wanted a piece of media to make me cry since can rarely ever do that

[sea-me-now]

good omens season 2 was like a warm blanket that wrapped around my soul, but it turned out the blanket was there to conceal the loaded gun pointed at my heart

[goldsainz]

THEY BROKE UP? — one shot.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

MASTERLIST.

NOTE: i’m a sucker for angst😁 i don’t know why i felt so inspired, i have never been in a relationship. or what drove me to write that article, which i didn’t spend as much time on as you would think, i guess i was inspired. please enjoy this, happy danny ric grand prix (not anymore😐)!!! this is my longest social media piece to date (templates by @mybodywakesup)

liked by tchalamet, jennaortega and 2,047,159 others

yourusername my EP “FWD” is out in all streaming platforms! this EP comes from a very deep, personal and heartfelt place. many nights of non-stop writing led to me putting out 4 songs i never would’ve released months ago. thank you for giving me time to come back as the best version of myself.

view all 30,707 comments

selenagomez I am so happy you released this! The world needs to see all of your talent shine ❤️

⤷ yourusername thank you for being there sel 🫶

ynfan1 I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HEARTBREAKING THIS WOULD BE

ynfan2 oh so we’re back to making us cry

dannielfan1 things i wish you said is so about daniel

user1 after 9 months of no content she just puts out four songs?

⤷ ynfan3 please read her newest vogue article before commenting things like this

alexademie i’m in love with you?

⤷ yourusername i’m in love with you too?

ynfan3 LONESOME BEST SONG!!!!!

When I got the call that Y/N Y/L/N wanted to do the article with Vogue, and that I was appointed as the writer I remember thinking ‘What will I say?’. There isn’t much to prepare you when a celebrity like her decides she wants you in her home, opening up about her hardships with you there to listen and write it all down. But, alas, I put my nerves beside me and took all of the questions the world wanted answers to, to the only woman who could answer them. 

Her house in the English countryside is just as perfect as you would expect. With dark mahogany floors, potted plants everywhere and white walls that are filled with different memories she framed, Y/L/N’s home is made for those who love the feeling of being at home. It brims with a cosy feeling, from the rugs she picked which bring an unexpected, yet welcome, warmth, to the open space that shows off her beautiful backyard. Y/L/N’s house is nothing short of exceptional. If each room were to speak to me they would all rave about how comfortable they feel, how there is no other that feel like a ‘home’ quite like theirs.

The moment I arrived at her front door, she was the one to open the door and greet me with a hug. There was no one but us at her house, nothing but the comfortable silence and the occasional chirping of a bird. Her outfit was casual, with some Stella McCartney jeans, a Prada silk blouse which she wears with the top 3 buttons open, and a pair of Hermes sandals, it all made her look relaxed whilst still looking polished. She offered me a single-couch to sit down on, offering me different options of beverages she proudly concocted. I opted for a refreshing blueberry lemonade, while she had an already drunk, half-full glass of orange juice. 

After what seemed like forever without her presence on red carpets, premieres or her famous F1 paddock appearances, Y/N Y/L/N created an enjoyable life for herself. She admits that even though there have been many hardships, she has pushed through them as best as she can. “Sometimes you just have to take a break, take a moment to look around and wonder what you really need.” She expresses, “This life isn't for everyone. I am very happy with how things turned out for me, and there is not one day I regret what I’ve done. But, there are moments in which things get out of control and space is needed.”

On the outside, Y/L/N has always appeared to the masses as someone who never falters in her step. From her modelling debut when she was freshly 18 years old, turning herself into the face of Prada back in 2012 when the whole world wondered ‘Just who is this girl?’. It wasn't long before she delved into the acting world, with her first role in 2014 for the critically acclaimed film ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ as ‘Agatha’. Everyone loved her, wondering what her next move would be, so the whole world was shaken when just a year later she released an album. ‘Honeymoon’ took the world by a storm, with emotional lyrics that only added to the mystery of who she was, Pitchfork said “It's an album about love, but "love", as Y/L/N sings it, sounds like mourning. The romance here is closer to addiction—something that's sought for its ability to blot out the rest of life's miseries…”. Nobody knows who drove her to write this, but the speculations never stopped, not to this day. On the inside, however, she struggled to know who she really was.

She talks about not having the right skills to cope with the sudden fame, how overwhelming it all would really be. Still, she never stopped putting out new content for her fans. Nobody could forget the girl who despite all the luxury that surrounded her, uploaded vlogs to youtube about her life. No one could take away her raw authenticity.

Maybe that is why when in May of 2022 her posts on Instagram, Twitter and Youtube came to a sudden halt, fans wondered what happened to her. What made Y/N Y/L/N drop from the face of the earth? Why did she stop appearing everywhere? 

The talk never ceased, the world could not let go of the woman they had grown up with and learned to love over a decade ago. “It was weird seeing all those rumours while I battled to know who I was. I tried as hard as I could to drown it all out, so I uninstalled every single social media app I had. I ended my connection with the world to reconnect with myself.” She says. “It was hard, but it was truly what I had wanted for a while.”

Since she appeared in the spotlight, her relationships or lack of, has been questioned. “I watched my female peers struggle to get away from their love lives, how every interviewer didn't care for the projects they were in, but rather who they were with at the time.” She recalls. “I was in a relationship with who I thought was the love of my life, for almost 7 years. It is rather jarring coming to terms that sometimes people grow, and that you are the one that needs out of a relationship which is nothing short of special. My concept of love was tarnished by a guy who was older than me, and another guy who was just as immature as I was. So naturally, I was swept off my feet when suddenly, all I ever knew wasn't how I thought it was.” 

Even now, after the heartbreaking experience she went through, Y/L/N only has kind words to say about the man she loved. “He is a true gentleman, he knew me like no one else did. I guess, along the way, I stopped knowing myself. That was the problem.” She says. “How can someone else know me when I don't even know myself? I asked myself that a lot. I like to think I know myself better now, I learned how to love every part of me, and that was the most rewarding journey. It wasn’t his fault, but I couldn't love someone else without loving me first.”

Self Love is a very important part of her life now. She puts her well-being over her need to succeed, something that made her iconic, was destroying her slowly. “Being an ‘icon’ to many stuck me in a box. There was an underlying feeling of having to always outperform others and myself, it was exhausting and that was how I started losing sight of myself.”

When talking about her future projects, Y/L/N expressed that she was “taking her time”. No more would she be walked over and feel pressured to put out new content, opting for a more relaxed and controlled lifestyle. Though she once was everywhere everyday, she now hopes to be mentioned when she does something valuable and not when she is merely existing. 

“I do have an EP coming out. It is just four songs, but I wrote them alone, and they are my most special songs to date.” She says. “One thing I do not want happening is for people I care for to be harassed or accused of things they are not responsible for. Music is a creative outlet for me, it is never made with the intention to hurt anyone.” She adds. “‘things i wish you said’ is my favourite. It’s the first one I wrote after my breakup, which makes it the rawest out of all of them. I think that's why I like it so much, the other three were written in different periods of my life, some even years ago. It will be fun seeing everyone dissect them.”

She decided to keep the EP to just four songs because all the others were too personal or she decided to keep them for another time. “I’m sure the world would love to know all the nooks and crannies of my past relationship, but that is something I would like to keep between him and me. I am ready to move on from all the pain, to leave it all in the past. If people want to remain stuck there, that is their own choice, I choose to be free and continue growing.”

Y/L/N’s journey is far from finished. She has not even turned 30 yet, but she redirects her narrative because it just does not fit her anymore. She is not that young 18 year-old girl who knows nothing, but rather a 28 year-old woman “ready to move on” as she puts it. 

At that point in our conversation, her previously relaxed demeanour has only grown. With her legs tucked on the black leather couch she has in her wide living room, an arm resting on a deep magenta pillow, she is in her own space. Y/L/N smiles and pays attention to every question I ask, she has no qualms in sharing. Though she sometimes opted to give no comment about certain situations, not once did she feel offended or made me feel out of place. 

As our conversation came to an end, she gave me one final piece of advice: “Only you can decide what's best for you. Once you learn how to manage other people’s opinions, there is nothing that can truly stop you from being uniquely you. Love yourself, you have one life, why live it in misery?”

liked by ynfan21, danielfan21 and 103,859 others

yndanielenthusiast i will never forget when they both posted the same picture to hard launch their relationship

view all 1,558 comments

ynfan22 what if this was my 13th reason?

ynfan23 we all remember where we were when this dropped

⤷ danielfan22 i woke from a nap, checked instagram and screamed so loud my parents thought someone died

⤷ ynfan23 so real

user21 missing them hours

ynfan24 nothing could’ve prepared for y/n confirming their breakup. nothing.

danielfan23 I NEED THEM BACK

⤷ ynfan25 THOSE TWO WERE LITERALLY MY PARENTS

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 462,071 others

danielricciardo Don’t leave me hangin 🙃

view all 6,931 comments

ynfan31 y/n liking this😭

danielfan31 IM SO HAPPY HES HAPPY WITH RBR

ynfan32 say what you want abt y/n (don’t) but she’s handling the situation very maturely

danielfan32 he’s smiling while we’re all in shambles smh

⤷ danielfan33 right???

user31 I need him back on track asap

user32 am i delusional to think the caption means something else or…

⤷ ynfan33 yes.

⤷ danielfan34 yes.

liked by danielricciardo, taylorswift and 1,925,836 others

yourusername many things to come 🥂

view all 28,887 comments

ynfan41 istg if she says an album is coming

⤷ ynfan42 it would be crazy but i don’t think so

zendaya cheers to that!

liked by yourusername

user41 her smile <3

danielfan41 ariana what r u doing here🤨

taylorswift 🍾🍾🍾

⤷ ynfan43 I’M SCARED WHAT’S GOING ON

ynfan44 she has something cooking and i am not prepared

[enyalios-shrine]

𝘼𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 101

Hi! I’m Raven (or Ray), and I’ve been an Ares devotee for almost five years now. You want to start worshiping him? Great! Despite what today’s media makes of him - which I will talk about a lot in this post - , he’s actually a very caring, gentle and (dare I say) beginner-friendly deity! In general, a great choice! (Also, this is inspired by another post I saw but forgot to save - so, credits for the idea goes to that person) So, let's get started.

WHO IS ARES? - MODERN MISCONCEPTIONS

Since I’m assuming you already know the broad strokes of who he is (Greek god of war, bloodshed, violent and so forth), this section will be about some of the misconceptions most people have of Him. If you’ve ever consumed any Greek mythology-related media, I’m sure you’ve seen the following caricature: beefy, misogynistic, violent, stupid jerk, rude and always looking for a fight. While, yes, He IS violent (He's the god of war, afterall), that's far from all He has to offer.

Did you know Ares is actually historically a major feminist? That’s probably the first thing to get demystified about Him when you talk to an Ares devotee or worshiper, so I’m not really saying ground-breaking news here, but since a fair amount of people don’t know about it, I thought it was a fair mention. So, let’s get into the actual myths and proofs for this claim:

Ares was the father of and supported the Amazons in battle, a group of female-only warriors and hunters.

He’s one of the only male deities in Greek mythology to not have sexually harassed or raped someone. Yes, even other deities viewed as “nice” such as Apollo and Hermes have done so (I don’t mean any disrespect for those deities here - I’m also an Apollo devotee).

Ares was held in trial for the murder of Halirrhotius, a son of Poseidon, after he raped one of Ares’ daughters, Alkippe. He was acquited of murder by the gods. Remember, back in ancient Greece, women didn’t have ANY rights - raping one was not considered a crime or even frowned upon as far as I'm aware.

One of His epithets is “Ares Gynaikothoina", which means "feasted by women". During a war between the Tegeans and the Spartans, the women of Tegea defended the city from a invasion led by the Spartan king Charilaus. After arming themselves, they defeated the Spartans following an ambush. Among the prisoners was the Spartan king himself. In commemoration, they would hold a feast in honor of Ares, to which only women were invited.

All in all, Ares is protective, just, and encouraging of His children as well as worshipers and devotees. He’s not the piece of shit jock most people think of when you mention His name. Please stop doing my man this dishonor, He deserves so much better.

BASIC INFO

His Roman counterpart is Mars. He’s the son of Zeus and Hera, and his consourt is Aphrodite (even though they’re not officially married). His divine children are Phobos and Deimos (twin daimones/personified spirits of panic and terror, respectively), Harmonia (goddess of harmony and concord), Antero (erote/god of requited love) and Eros (erote/god of carnal love), all which he had with Aphrodite, as well as Drakon of Thebes (a giant serpent), which he apparently had by himself.

As for hero children; Cycnus (a bloody-thirsty men who was murdered by Herakles), Diomedes of Thrace (who had man-eating horses for some reason), Thrax (who founded Thrace), Oenomaus (Greek king of Pisa), and the Amazons (female warriors and hunters as mentioned above).

His symbols and associations are: spears, swords, helmets, armour, dogs, chariots, shields, The Chariot & The Emperor tarot cards, etc.

FESTIVALS AND DAYS

Tuesdays are holy to Ares and are ruled by the planet Mars (again, his Roman counterpart), which means they’re associated with action, energy, strength, and courage, as well as the color red.

As for festivals, He was typically honored with special rites in times of war or just before battles. There were also two annual festivals: one in the town of Geronthrae in ancient Laconia, celebrated only by men, and one in Tagea in Arcadia, celebrated only by women, where His "feasted by women" epithet came from. There's hardly any info on exact dates (from the Attic calendar or not) or info about any other festivals.

SACRED ANIMALS

Serpents

Dogs

Vultures

Woodpecker

Barn owls

Eagle owls

SACRED PLANTS

There’s no plant, flower or tree traditionally associated with Ares, unfortunately, so I’m gonna give a list of my UPG’s. Now, I’m not a witch, so I don’t know about the magical properties of the plants I’m about to list (if you’re a witch and were looking for something like that, my bad). However, I am a florist and have a special interest in floriography, so I assign them to Him based on vibe, meaning, etc.

Amaryllis (Means “Pride”)

Basil (Means “Hate”)

Water hemlock (Means “Death”)

Snapdragon (Means “Presumption”, but I think he just likes the way it looks)

Poppy (Means “Eternal sleep”, but has a long history with wars, being the first kind of flora to start growing in abandoned battlefields that were previously considered infertile)

Nettle (Means “Cruelty”)

Magnolia (Means “Dignity”)

Yarrow (Means “Cure for a broken heart”, and is said to have been used by Achilles to heal his men on the battlefield, which is why the scientific name is “Achillea”)

Ginger (Associated with “Heat”)

Pepper, spices, etc (idk he just gives the vibes)

OFFERINGS & DEVOTIONAL ACTS

Honestly, the only slander Ares should be getting is that He likes edgy teenage boy things. That being said, here's some ideas/suggestions, first for devotional acts and then offerings:

Workout or do any kind of physical activity

Take care of your mental and physical health

Stand up for yourseld and what you believe in

Learn about past wars, battles, and riots

Do things that make you feel badass/brave/empowered

Go to a protest

Work on managing your anger (especially for my fellow BPD havers)

Pet a dog

Honor His children and Aphrodite

For offerings; any kind of meat, especially red

Anything sharp (cool knives or daggers, broken glass, etc)

Bones!!

Halloween decor (I personally have those fake plastic snakes, spiders, and a skull on His altar)

Black coffee, the stronger the better

Any alcohol, but especially whiskey

Anything spicy

WHY WORSHIP ARES? - A PERSONAL RANT

Living in an extremely physically abusive household, I had to know and be acostumed to violence from a very young age. That violence left with many things - BPD and C-PTSD, to name a few - but mostly importantly, it left me only being able to feel one thing: anger.

I was angry at everything. Angry at the world for allowing me to have to live through such a horrible situation, angry at my mom for not standing up for me, angry at my abuser, even angry at myself for not ever trying to fight back or protect myself (though now I realize that was completely out of the question. I was only 8, what could I have done against a man in his 30's that was three times my size?).

That anger didn't go away after I got away from my abuser. If anything, it grew worse. I'd yell, break everything around me, say horrible things to the people I loved - I was a totally different person. I could barely recognize myself. I was an empty shell, filled with absolutely nothing else than the purest form of resentment and wrath, things that had been brewing inside of me since I was a child. I never had the choice to become anything else.

Ares understands violence. He's the god of it. He knows when it's justifiable and when it's not, when it serves a purpose and when it's out of pure malice. He helped me realize that instead of trying to fight against my anger out of the shame it made me feel, I had to embrace it - become one with it. It's a part of me, at the end of the day. I just had to figure out how to control it instead of letting it control me.

He embraced me when I was too disgusted with this ugly side of me to even look in a mirror. I was scared of myself - he wasn't. He's seen worse. I never had someone accept me and all my flaws before, god or otherwise.

That's why it's so upsetting to see the modern depictions so many people have of him. Someone so understanding and loving being defined by the worst parts of Himself, just like I used to do with myself in the past.

Ares is the god of war, war is not the god of Ares.

[firstkanaphans]

if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida,  I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss. 

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: whenever you can would you be willing to write a piece about dominik and the reader being in the shy honeymoon stage of their relationship 🩷🩷🩷

Word Count: 1040 words

(author's note: my first dominik request !! i hope you enjoy it, my lovelies 🩷 i'm so sorry if you feel it doesn't match your ask, i've been so uninspired lately so i hope this makes up for my absence !!)

Anyone who looked at Dominik and Y/N would think they were a couple. They were inseparable. Being around each other at all times was normal for the pair, along with the subtle glances and their hands that were so often intertwined.

It was an average day for the pair. Y/N had gone over to Dominik’s house, eventually ending up in his bed, asleep in his arms. She couldn’t say she was surprised as it wasn’t the first time it had happened. Although the lines between friendship and romance had been blurred, the two adults still refused to address what was going on between them.

Y/N knew Dominik had training so she felt selfish for wanting to keep him tucked up in bed with her. Under the plush covers of his bed, wrapped in Dominik’s arms was her favourite place to be. He stirred softly, subconsciously pulling her closer to his body.

“Domi, it’s time to wake up. You’ve got training.”

The Hungarian grumbled, tucking his face into the side of her neck, clinging on to the last remains of sleep. He knew he had to wake up, but the bliss he felt in that moment clouded his rational thoughts.

“Five more minutes, it won’t take long for me to get ready.”

“No, you need to get up now. Your version of five minutes is more like fifty.”

He let out a laugh, now fully awake. He pressed a kiss to Y/N’s head and got up out of bed. He pulled on his training clothes and busied himself with getting ready. He ate breakfast, packed his bag and brushed his teeth before jogging back upstairs to say goodbye to Y/N.

“Bye gyönyörű, I’ll see you after training, okay?”

“Goodbye Dom, see you later.”

He waved at her as he exited the room and then turned his attention to putting his training bag into the boot of his car. Getting into the driver's seat, his mind wandered to Y/N. Dominik wanted nothing more than for her to be his girlfriend. She was kind, beautiful, and outgoing. He could list her good traits for as long as time. However, the fear of rejection had sunk its claws into him, and he remained silent about his feelings. 

He pulled into the car park of the training facility and turned off the ignition of his car. He grabbed his bag from the boot and headed to the reception to sign in. Making his way to the changing rooms, he spotted Curtis walking ahead of him.

“Curtis wait for me,” Dominik said, catching the attention of the scouser.

Curtis stopped in his tracks and turned around. He stood still as he waited for Dominik to catch up.

“You alright, Dom?”

Dominik nodded his head and the pair continued the short walk to the changing rooms. Once they arrived they pushed the door open and began to undress to put on their training gear.

“You know, I’ve been planning on asking this girl out. She’s the new social media intern. Have you seen her?”

Dominik’s heart dropped. He knew exactly who Curtis was talking about and the idea of them getting together made him feel sick.

“Are you talking about Y/N? I think she has a boyfriend.” 

“Oh really? Who’s her boyfriend?”

“Me.”

Curtis’ face fell.

“Sorry Dom, I didn’t realise.” Curtis scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of him. 

“Don’t worry about it. Not many people know.”

Training went on as usual. Curtis tried to stay out of Dominik’s way while the Hungarian was having an internal crisis. He didn’t even know where the claim that he and Y/N were together came from. He was so blinded by silent rage that his thoughts weren’t coherent. He just said the first thing that came to his head. 

He had to make it come true. He knew that if he let Y/N fall through his fingers he would regret it.

Once the team had been dismissed, Dominik rushed to grab his bags and pulled his car keys out of his pocket. The journey home was short, but in that moment it felt like an eternity.

As soon as he was parked in the driveway, he sprung out of the car and unlocked the front door.

“Y/N? Where are you?” He urged, the adrenaline surge giving him the confidence to finally tell the girl he loved how he felt about her after so many years.

“In here,” she replied from the living room, “Is everything okay?”

Dominik strode down the corridor and stopped in the doorway of the room Y/N sat in and looked straight at her.

“We need to talk, now.”

Her eyes widened and she patted the empty seat next to her, signalling for him to sit down.

“What are we?”

“Dom, what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Are we a couple? Are we friends?”

Y/N looked down at her hands. She picked at the skin on her fingers and fidgeted. She had been in love with Dominik for nearly as long as he had with her. The idea of them being a couple was something she had only dreamed of and now that Dominik had brought it up, she didn’t know what to say.

“Dominik, I don’t know-”

“I’m in love with you. I have been my whole life. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way, but I can’t keep this to myself anymore.”

Y/N twisted her body to face the man who sat next to her. With trembling hands, she cupped his face and pressed her lips to his. Dominik was taken by surprise, but that didn’t stop him from kissing back as enthusiastically as he could muster. 

When they broke apart, Dominik smiled down at Y/N. 

“I think that answers my question.”

“I’d hope so,” Y/N responded, pressing a second kiss to his lips.

The silence that hung in the air was no longer filled with uncertainty and unsureness. It was filled with relief and reassurance. The silent agreement between the pair had been a long time coming, and both of them couldn’t be happier.

[toweroftunes]

csm 167 thoughts

Trying to come out of my posting hiatus after seeing some, let’s say, interesting reactions to the most recent CSM chapter. While it’s totally normal to be disappointed as a sympathetic or empathetic reaction to the protagonists being violated, it’s another for your take away to be that Fujimoto has “lost the plot” or that he was simply “horny,” which I’ve seen people say on Instagram (like, ???).

A non-consensual sex scene in Chainsaw Man, a manga with central themes revolving around sex and bodily autonomy, is not narratively out of line. And I would argue that being disappointed, feeling uncomfortable, is an expected reaction, maybe even an intended one. Of course we as the audience want Denji and Asa (Denji especially because we’ve followed him longer, know his trauma more intimately) to have happy relationships — to be able to find trust, love, and comfort in others. They deserve better. They always have. That’s what makes Chapter 167 so heartbreaking.

Idk. Seeing readers say that Fujimoto was simply “horny” is like hearing people say that Nabokov was a pervert for writing Lolita. The point of depicting these perspectives in media is often not for self-satisfaction, but to make us think critically about how we engage with these topics. It’s really worrying that there are readers who cannot comprehend this and do not realize that sex itself is a natural phenomenon that can be depicted as a neutral, negative, or positive depending on context and perspective.

Just because Denji had a physical reaction to being touched, does not make it “horny.” Things like hardness, wetness, and/or ejaculation are physical reactions to either stimuli or the expectation of sex. They are often involuntary reactions, not indicators of pleasure or consent.

Again, it’s what makes this heartbreaking. This is something that happened to Denji and Asa, not something that they were, either of them, active, consenting participants in. Yoru has no regard for consent, as War has no regard for consent. War takes. War leaves its victims to pick up the pieces in their trauma, confusion, and anger.

Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve done any meta, CSM or otherwise, so I’m definitely not putting everything succinctly as I’d like. I just think it’s important to critically engage with the text, even when it makes us uncomfortable, and I’ve seen some piss-poor takes on this topic.

And, hey, I could be proven wrong depending on where the story actually ends up going! I think a lot of how I’ll end up reading this scene will also depend on the context that follows, not just the context that has preceded it.

[diejager]

I dont know if you write about it and it’s fine if you dont but I just wanna share my thoughts, if it’s alright with you. 🙂

Know what would make the siblings with Ghost fic? Inc*st. You’ve already laid the groundwork for it, tbh.

Being together most of the time in public and in private settings, men not being able to approach Doc due to Ghost intimidating them, the physical intimacy that is present and constant, and both being closed off to anyone else but to each other. It’s all there, just a bit more darkness and…tada!

I wont say anything anymore as I do not wish to offend you if this is not your cup of tea. But if it is, then I will look forward to your great work, as usual. Thank you and have a good day. 🥰

You, anon, are so blasphemously brilliant. Inc*st isn’t something I’ve done, and isn’t good per se irl, but this is fictional works. So, yeah, here ya go :D And like I said, I’m pretty loose with what I’m willing to write. PS. I am SO going to hell for this-

Pairing : big brother Simon “Ghost” Riley x lil sister reader

Cw: DARK, INC*ST, smut, yandere, DUB-CON, fingering, self-hate, tell me if I missed anything. Wc: 1.4k

NOTE: You've been warned about the content, if you don't like Inc*st, don't read it. Just don't report it, cuz that would be annoying.

YOUR CONSUMPTION OF MEDIA IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOURS ALONE.

He knew it was wrong, the sheer sinful shame of his acts towards you made him a monster, a vile creature, one worse than the abusive father you shared. His intentions, his thoughts, his needs, they were so wrong, too wrong that he had to choke down the disgust that riled in his guts. 

I’m disgusting, he repeated those words a dozen times, a hundred times, a million times, how many times he needed to get them to stop himself. I’m so fuckin’ disgusting.

Being able to look at himself in the mirror made the sinking feeling worse, he could see the face of the monster he was, not the one who wore a mask or hid behind a moniker; the face he glared at was Simon, the face that shared similarities to yours: the blond hair and the brown eyes. He had red-rimmed eyes, unlike your softer ones, full of life and power. He’d felt the need to break the mirror, shattering it into small pieces and watching his face crumble into fragments and blood, but it would make you worry so much. The blood in the bathroom tiles, wall and sink, his bloodied and roughly wrapped hand and the missing and broken glass would give him away; albeit a shattered mirror was enough for you to rush to him in a flurry of worried words and hushed comfort. 

He felt so fucking disgusting, you cared so much about him, so much care and dedication you devoted to him and him alone since you’ve been young. The words you’d whisper in his ears at night when his regrets crawled out, burdening his mind with bloody and visceral images that terrorised him. You were his solid link, the anchor that held him firmly alive and sane, able enough to keep going. 

You were his lifeline as he was yours, you clutched onto him for love and comfort while he latched on you for the same, but he had needs, dark ideas and images he made with you. His sacrilegious dreams and thoughts violated his image of you, the sweet girl he protected from your abusive father that would beat you and him. 

Stop, this is disgusting, he kept reminding himself, screaming the words to himself in the bathroom, the shower head pouring scalding water upon his request as punishment. Stop it. Stop it, Simon, he screamed, but it never helped, the burning water, the frozen winter, or the pain from wounds, they all numbed until he seaked you out. Then, he couldn’t stop himself, his hands and mouth were so hungry.

You were always with him, and he was always with you; you were stuck by the hip. He came to you by habit, by instinct, by heart. You were his comfort and the only thing that mattered. That's why he was doing this, his need for a physical relationship, the carnal hunger he had, the darkness he wanted to share, all for you. The more selfish side of himself told him that he deserved it and that he was doing this for you. For you, anything.

“Si, are you sure?” you mumbled, breathing in the sweat and cologne on his throat, the thick muscle of his neck bulging when he gulped down harshly. “Si, I’m- I-“

“You trust me, don’t you, love?” he asked, wording his words in a way that would make you less hesitant, and question his intentions less whenever he called you love. It was the nickname everyone at home called you, the youngest of the family, the baby. “Do you?”

“‘Course I do, Si. Of course, I do,” you had a quirk of repeating your words when you got stressed, became so nervous that you’d stutter. It only happend with him or the team, feeling comfortable enough to let them in, to let down the wall you built around you and him enough so that they could see the real you. Task Force 141 truly became a new family, to him and to you.

He shushed your nerves, hands trailing down your backed back to your hips, thumb rubbing circles on your warm skin. You straddled him, he told you that it would make him feel better, it would help him relax and take the edge off. One hand went back to cradle the back of your neck and pushed your closer to him, his head laying on top of yours. His other went further down your back, cupping the fat of your ass, kneading with the softness. His blunt nails dug into your ass, index finding the tight rim of your anal hole. 

You whined and clutched the back of his shirt tightly when he went lower, fore and middle finger bumping into your shaved lips, sliding to your slit and rubbing your clit. You opened your mouth to ask him once more, still hesitant to Simon’s idea, but a moan left instead. His hand rounded your thigh to deftly circle your button between his clothed torso and your sheer nakedness. You wanted to hide, feeling his rough, calloused pads writing eights on your sensitive nerve.

You fidgeted, writhing quietly over him, hip bucking forward and mewling when his forefinger would dip slightly into your cunt, tip sliding in before he pulled back to tease you. Although his intentions were to tease you, pleasure you, you felt the nagging discomfort of sharing this with Simon, he was your brother, the eldest of your family and the only one who you could seek comfort with. It never felt the same when you went to the other men, Simon never liked it either. 

This wasn’t what siblings usually did, or should at all, but how could you deny him, tell your only family no. The burden of pulling back from him in his time of need would hurt more than the discomfort you felt at the moment, the buzzing in your mind and the tingling pleasure he was giving you. This was anything but normal, but for him, for Simon, you’d see it through. 

“Si-!” you jerked back when he slipped a finger in, voice breaking when you cried out, huffing loudly onto the skin of his neck, where he kept you. “Wait-“ your nails sunk into the meat of his back, tapping him, telling him to slow down or wait a bit. 

“I got ya, love,” Simon whispered calmly, adding another finger to pump in and out of your soaked cunt, your body reacted naturally to stimulus even if you’d cried no or stop, please, the body and mind were separate things. “I know, (Name), let me help ya.”

Help wasn’t what you’d qualify this as; although your body reacted to him, any body would do the same if they were on the receiving end. You wanted out, you wanted him to stop, but you also knew no one would love you the way Simon did, or the way Ghost did. He was your haven, your safe space that no one else could become, you already had him, why would you need anyone else. 

“That’s right. Ya got me, so ya don’t need anyone else, right?” 

You couldn’t reply, lost in the drowning sensation of being so full and stimulated by Simon, his big fingers dragging over the spot that made your mind numb and curling just right to make you see stars. Your body shook, crying out his name as pleasure washed over you, walls clamping on his digits, your hips bucked as you rode his hand. 

This is wrong, this is so wrong, Si, you wished you could tell him, but the orgasm made all thought disappear. When was the last time you fucked someone, or dated? You couldn’t remember having anyone significant other than family in your life. Sure, you’ve laid with some soldiers and boys when you were younger, more spry than your current age, but those were long ago and none were as big as Simon was. Men were rarely his size and height, he was a rivalling force in the military and in life. 

He was loving and tender, slowly pushing you over the edge a second and third time before he felt the need to stop, too ashamed of himself to relieve the unbarring and painful sensation of his hard cock straining against the tightness of his brief and pants. You were his priority, your pleasure being the sole purpose of this moment: locked in your shared room, walls reinforced to be sound-proof from the inside and being at the mercy of his skilled fingers. 

He gazed at you, eyes squinting at the fiery blush on your cheeks, warm and sweaty, your eyes dazed and teary from him, tired even, and your breath and heart rapid, loud and gasping. Your eyes met his and you smiled at him tentatively, unsure of how he felt now. Did he feel better? What happened that made him so riled up, mad? 

“I won’t let anyone touch ya, (Name),” he swore, caressing your cheeks sweetly with his clean hand. He loved you too much to lose you to someone else, he couldn’t let another man or woman take you from him like they did with his family. “I love you, (Name),” he said those words like they were a mantra, sacred words meant for you alone. 

“I love you too, Si.”

Only for you, Si. It’s wrong but for you, anything.

[iwanthermidnightz]

Ahhh did you see the new rolling stone gaylor article ?? I'm so impressed.

When Taylor Swift released the long-awaited rerecording of her genre-leaping album 1989, fans eagerly pored over vault tracks, theories of double albums, and limited edition vinyl releases that could predict Swift’s next re-record. But for Gaylors, a dedicated Swift fanbase that’s existed for over a decade, Swift’s prologue and a mention of her feelings surrounding speculation about her love life have dampened what should have been an exciting release.

Thinking about the 24-year-old she was when 1989 was released, Swift writes, “I swore off dating and decided to only focus on myself, my music, my growth, and my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn’t sensationalize or sexualize that — right? I would learn later on that people could and people would.” Many users online interpreted that line as a subtle callout to Gaylors, supporters of the niche theory that Swift is queer or leaves queer messaging in her songs. But several members of the Gaylor community tell Rolling Stone they’re actually not convinced the callout is about them — and are receiving targeted and homophobic harassment in the process.

For those not extremely online, Gaylor is an unproven theory that Swift is queer and leaves messages alluding to past relationships in her work, a fan theory that originated on the blogging site Tumblr in the mid-2010s. It is also the fan name for groups of people who believe there are queer interpretations of Swift’s songs. (While Swift has been a vocal ally and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and representation, she has never publicly commented on Gaylor and has only been in public relationships with men.) Gabriela, a 27-year-old Gaylor, tells Rolling Stone she doesn’t believe Swift’s prologue is about the Gaylor fandom specifically, but she’s frustrated at the use of the word ‘sexualize,” which she says has long been co-opted by fans who think Gaylor is harmful or inherently rude.

“I think it’s a call-out yes, but more to the media at large, rather than just about the Gaylor subset of her fandom, which is only a small piece of her complaint. [Swift] doesn’t want to be assumed to be in a sexual, romantic relationship with anyone she is seen next to,” Gabriela says. “Hetlors [those who object to the Gaylor discourse] are cherry-picking to make it about her ‘shutting down gay rumors.’”

As an internationally beloved artist — one capable of selling more movie tickets than Martin Scorcese and convincing an entire fandom to rebuy her music her way — Swift professes an unusually close relationship with her followers. The lyricist often hides clues in her work and visuals, encouraging fans to decipher what coded messages and hints she’s leaving behind. But Swift has also verbalized how upset slut-shaming and assumptions about her love life make her. Anna, a 23-year-old Gaylor who uses they/them pronouns, agrees that the prologue wasn’t about Gaylor specifically but says they do think all Swift fans online could operate with more boundaries.

“Of course, I’m a little annoyed that people are pulling one or two lines of the prologue out of context and using it as a justification to be homophobic and send death threats to my friends, but I don’t think Taylor is at fault for people misconstruing her words and I think she has every right to call out things that make her uncomfortable,” Anna tells Rolling Stone. “’Shipping’ culture across the fandom seems to have gotten really ugly recently on all accounts. I’ve seen people speculate on her sex life, openly and graphically, track her location, insinuate that she wants/has children and just overall cross a lot of boundaries. It may be unpopular for me to say it, but I do think members on all sides needed to be put in their place a little bit.”

All of the Gaylor fans who spoke to Rolling Stone expressed that beyond the prologue, much of the reaction to them as a group has stemmed from a lack of understanding about why the fandom exists and has lasted for almost a decade. Liv, 26, says that the Gaylor community has been a large part of her life — it’s even how she met her current boyfriend. And she tells Rolling Stone the identity has allowed her to have a deeper understanding of Swift’s lyrics.

“It’s always fun for me to think about what inspired a song. So even if it’s not what happened in Taylor’s life, it’s interesting for me to think about a song through a queer lens, because I feel like it adds a lot of layers that a song about a guy might not have,” Liv says. “And I don’t really know any straight people who are that deeply obsessed with Emily Dickinson.”

The X account @gaylornews has over 12,000 followers. The admin behind the account declined to include her name but tells Rolling Stone Gaylor isn’t just a fun internet conspiracy theory, but means a lot to the community.

“Analyzing her lyrics through a queer perspective is more about defying heteronormative narratives and finding representation and not about invading Taylor’s privacy or sensationalizing her personal life,” the account owner says. “Gaylor is about queer people finding a safe space which straight people not only find but already have everywhere, is about all the things you never learned about yourself, is about feeling seen and genuinely understood.”

Regardless of what people think the prologue is about, Gaylors are worried about one thing: targeted harassment from more mainstream fans of Swift. In an April 2023 report from social media tracking firm Graphika, researchers found that Gaylors made up nine percent of active Swift fans on social media, but are often exiled and isolated from neutral fan spaces. The study also found that anti-Gaylor accounts, also referred to as Hetlors, “play a key role” in how the theory is presented to mainstream audiences and often misrepresent commonly held Gaylor beliefs, which can lead to the harassment and doxxing of neutral Gaylor accounts. Each of the Gaylors who spoke to Rolling Stone detailed targeted harassment, hate speech, and homophobia they’ve received online, something they all believe Swift would stand against.

“I think that people who are against Gaylors think we’re way more serious about it than we are. A lot of the things we say are jokes or ideas or possible theories,” Liv says. “And at the end of the day, none of us know what the truth is about her personal relationships. And we shouldn’t want to because [Taylor Swift] is entitled to her privacy.”

(link)

[wavypotatochips]

Hey angel! I’ve loved all the Sergio fics you’ve written! Can I request reader being younger than him and dating him but she’s never been with anyone in bed so she has her first time with him please? And he’s very sweet and patience and he never forces himself on her please? Thank you 🙏

𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬 [ 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖, Minors DNI ]

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Sergio Ramos x Female Reader

Word Count : 2.3k

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: This took me so long because I have never wrote NSFW before, but ya knowwww first time for everything right? ANYWAYSSS I Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ REQUESTS ARE OPEN, currently covered in college work so as of now uploads will mainly be on weekends. Thank you for your patience c’: ♥

You are head over heels in love with Sergio Ramos, a man who makes your heart skip a beat every time you see him. You love the way he laughs, the way he talks, and the way he looks at you with those warm, affectionate eyes. Every moment spent with Sergio feels like a blessing, whether you're going out on a date or simply spending time together at home. You feel like you can be your true self around him, and he accepts you unconditionally for who you are. When you're apart, you find yourself daydreaming about Sergio, thinking about all the wonderful moments you've shared and all the exciting adventures you have yet to experience together. You can't wait to see him again, to hold him close, to feel his warm embrace. Despite the media's constant attempts to portray you as being with him solely for financial gain due to your 3-year age difference, it is obvious that you are madly in love with him.

You walk into your home to the delightful aroma of delicious food cooking in the kitchen, and as you approach, you see Sergio donning a chef's hat and apron, fully engrossed in the art of cooking. You laugh as you ask, "What's cookin' good lookin'?" while admiring his chef attire and thinking how adorable he looks. You informed Sergio before you left earlier that you didn't want to go anywhere for your anniversary because you simply wanted to spend time with him and him only. Despite your current fame as a model, your upbringing in poverty left you with the belief that you shouldn't spend a lot of money on pricier items. Sergio believed that by preparing a meal for you, he might add some personal touches to the evening as he is aware that you don't like to flaunt your riches or eat at upscale establishments. With a big smile on his face, Sergio greets you with a warm hug and kiss, then turns your attention to the kitchen table, where he has set up a beautifully decorated table with candles, flowers, and your favorite music playing in the background. As it was a beautiful day outdoors when you were shopping, you are wearing a yellow sundress and white sandals to show off your newly painted toes. You smile and lean forward to take in the fragrance of the flowers, " Cariño, no tenías que hacer todo esto (Honey, you didn't have to do all of this)," you say. "I have to, of course. Las princesas siempre deben ser tratadas como tal. ( Princesses should always be treated like one.)"  Your smile is still present as you shake your head. He has always been a gentleman towards you.

“You didn't find anything you liked?,” He questions seeing you don't have any shopping bags as he places a plate of  delicious tomato and basil bruschetta, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar in front of you.  “No, I didn't find much… Thank you baby,” you respond as you pick up the piece of bread, biting into it. As you savor the flavors of the freshy tomatoes, Sergio tells you how much he loves you and how grateful he is to have you in his life. "Cariño, solo quiero que sepas cuánto te amo y te adoro. Nunca me hubiera imaginado hace dos años que estaría con un ángel como tú. (Baby, I just want you to know how much I love and adore you. I would have never imagined two years ago I would be with an angel like you.) You are the most important person in my life, and I cannot imagine my world without you. Cada momento que pasamos juntos es un tesoro que atesoro con todo mi corazón. (Every moment we spend together is a treasure that I cherish with all my heart.)" Hearing his sincere remarks, you pout your bottom lip as his love and affection fill your heart. “Te amo y te adoro tanto, mi amor. (I love and adore you just as much, my love.) Thank you for being there for me and for showing me your unending affection.”

After you finish eating your "appetizer," Sergio takes the plate from you and puts it in the sink. A few minutes later he brings out a succulent roasted chicken, perfectly seasoned and cooked to perfection. He serves it alongside a colorful medley of roasted vegetables, including carrots, zucchini, bell peppers, and rice. He knows chicken and rice is your favorite and you dislike eating items that are too heavy on your stomach, so he thought he could cook it with a bit more of his personal touch. Given that you are often the one cooking and that if not you, he hires a chef, you are taken aback when you see the plate in front of you. He removes the chef's hat and coat he is wearing, hangs them up in the kitchen, and then sits across from you. “Let's eat shall we?,” he says and you eagerly nod. Throughout the dinner, Sergio keeps you entertained with his charming personality and witty jokes, making sure you feel loved and cherished. Overall, the evening is a perfect celebration of your love for each other, and you couldn't have asked for a better partner than Sergio Ramos.

The two of you went into the living room after supper to watch a movie and drink wine. The wine bottle is empty by the time the movie is an hour into it, and the two of you are making out. 

Moaning against his lips, you are straddling his waist and exchanging saliva. He presses you into him by placing his hands on your ass and starting to rock you back and forth. Although dressed in jeans, he has a noticeable bulge. You start to experience intense arousal, and you decide that this is the night you want him to take your virginity. Two years have passed since you two started dating, and those two years have been full of love, charm, and happiness. Just as you wanted to see all of him, you also wanted him to see all of you.  Sergio never makes you do anything you didn't want to do; he always asks you first before moving forward. The way you are leading the kiss and pressing against him a little more firmly than usual has given him the impression that you might go farther this time. Normally, after you two make out, he goes into the bathroom to satisfy himself with his hand.

"Want take this to the room?" you ask as you gently pry yourself away from him. He pants as well, asking, "Are you sure?," because he knows you already know what that will result in. You nod while biting your lower lip. As he pulls you up, he presses his lips once more against yours and gives you a tender kiss. You wrap your legs around his waist as he proceeds towards the bedroom. He kicks open the bedroom door, groaning into your lips as he lays you on the bed. When your dress rises, he crawls on top of you, lovingly kissing your neck before laying his hand on your exposed thigh. He rubs your thigh and asks, "May I?," edging ever-closer to your panties. Your panties are soaked just from him stroking your thigh and the earlier things he did. You bite your lower lip while nodding. "Words my love," he raises his head and begins to nip at your earlobe. After your makeout session, you still can't catch your breath as you pant out, appearing to be out of breath, "Yes, my love." He presses his lips once more on yours while massaging your clit with his hands as he glides over your underwear. Your gasp from the unknown wonderful sensation allows him to slip his tongue inside your mouth. You thrust your hips upward to exert greater pressure on his hand, which makes him sneer in defiance of your demands. He bites your bottom lip, pulls back a little, and mumbles against your lips,   “Princess is so eager, huh?,” before releasing go. He stops touching your panties, gets out of bed, and starts to unbuckle his belt and take off his shirt. He needed his boner to be released because it was throbbing and felt trapped against his pants. He unzips his pants and lets them fall to the ground as he flings his belt to the ground. You start to fear you can't handle him as you open your eyes slightly in response to how huge his bulge was, but the tingling sensation between your thighs told you otherwise. As you spread your legs wider to allow him to fit between you, he leans back on top of you and presses his lips hungrily back against yours. Only the thin cotton of your damp underwear and his boxers were in between the two of you, so you can feel his boner more intensely. He moves your panties to the side and runs his finger over the wet slit before inserting one of his fingers. As your legs tighten up against him, you gasp at the sensation. He gently pulls his lips away from yours as he enjoys the sound of your small moans against his ear. He keeps moving slowly until he thinks he can add another finger. When he finally does, you whimper in pleasure. You had touched yourself before, so you are not entirely naïve, but his fingers felt very different from yours. You start to press your hips against his fingers in an effort to get him to move more quickly, but he resists. Instead, he reclines and asks, "Are you sure you want to do this? " while gazing down at your face. With love in his eyes, he continues, "If you're not sure, it's okay, darling. 

You nod your head, determined that this is what you want, “I want it. I want you.” Sergio has always made you feel comfortable throughout the entire relationship and by him reassuring you that it is okay if you do not want it only made you want him even more. You love this boy with your entire heart. He kisses your forehead, nodding his head as he begins to kiss and suck on your neck, more than likely creating hickies, as he begins to slip off his boxers. Once his boxers are off, he begins to slip your panties down as well until they are completely off. Once they are off, he rubs his tip against your slit to lube it up with your wetness. He kisses you on your lips, “Tell me if it is too much, Okay?” He says, causing you to nod your head. He begins to slowly push his tip inside, the feeling being uncomfortable for you as it was a weird sensation. Meanwhile, Sergio is trying not to cum already from the tightness of your pussy wrapped around his tip. He groans against your ear, causing you to feel turned on even more. He begins to slowly thrust his tip in you back and forth until your pussy welcomes him more and more. Your legs begin to clench against him, you pant softly as you tremble underneath him. Maybe because you are a secret masochist, but the slight painful but pleasurable feeling made you feel so good.  “I love you so much, you know that?,” He whispers against your ear as he continues to go deeper inside of you. By now, your mind begins to feel cloudy as you are only focussing on the feeling of him entering inside of you. He makes sure to go slow, until now, he is about 2 inches inside of you. He feels himself not being able to fully go inside as your hymen was restricting him. “Princess this may hurt a little bit, but I promise itll feel okay after?,” he says as he kisses your forehead. You nod your head biting your bottom lip softly as he wraps one around your neck forcing your head to press against his chest. He thrust harder inside of you, causing your hymen to break, and allow him to get half way inside. You wince harshly as you grip his sides, a shaky breath escapes your lips. Sergio is using all of his internal strength to not bust inside of you as you squeezed him tightly. As he lets go of you so your head can lay back on the bed, he begins to whisper sweet nothings into your ear and remain still so you could get used to his size before he continues on. A few minutes pass and you begin to move yourself up and down, hinting you wanted him to continue on. He gets the memo and continues on, thrusting inside of you slowly until he is fully inside of you.

As the minutes pass, you become more at ease with him inside of you, and the pleasure outweighs the discomfort, and you are able to adjust yourself. Your dress hem is now up to your belly button as you throw your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. This allows him to push deeper into you, which makes him groan, "Damn Y/N you feel so amazing." You moan next to him and enjoy how his long, firm cock stuffed you.

The rest of the night followed by the both of you not just having sex, but making love. 

Sergio has always been deeply in love with you. He is completely smitten by you and can't imagine his life without you. And of course, you  feel the same way about him as you two have a strong and loving relationship. Sergio feels incredibly lucky to have been blessed with you in this lifetime, the one who loves him equally as much as he loves you. He is grateful for the love and joy that his girlfriend brings to his life, and he looks forward to a future filled with happiness and love.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Rating Hazbin Characters based on if I could tell what animal/creature their supposed to be:

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE AN ATTACK ON HH’s CREATOR/ARTISTS.

I really hate that I even have to say that, because art critique is part of engaging with art and design. People shouldn’t have to worry about being bullied or sent threats because they don’t like every single thing about a piece of media. I’m not saying these character designs are “objective bad” or anything like that.

I just realized that I didn’t know most of the designs were apparently based on animals for a long time, or until it was pointed out to me, and wanted to kind of review/examine that.

Ratings below:

ANGEL DUST—Spider—2/5:

I’m giving Angel a 2 because his design does look spider-ish to me, but I had to be told he was a spider to see the spider-elements to his design. I don’t think I would have figured it out unless told, the only time I think I could have figured it out on my own is with the spider web elements in Addict. The spots under his eyes being extra spider eyes kind of makes sense, but I don’t think I would have realized they were supposed to be eyes if I hadn’t been told. They did actually get drawn as eyes briefly when Angel got mad in the show when it came out-so that was actually really nice to see.

ALASTOR—DEER—0.5/5

Literally nothing about this man’s design makes him look like a deer to me. I gave the half point for the teeny tiny antlers at the top of his head, and because I do think his shoe print being a deer hoof pattern is kinda clever. But i should be able to see his antlers easily if they are an important part of his character design and if he’s supposed to be a deer. I also thought he was an OWL for like. 2 or 3 years while the Pilot was being animated b/c of his hair tufts. They looked like a great horned owl’s feather tufts to me.

VEE—no I’m not calling her that—MOTH

Pilot: 0/5 // Final Show: 1/5

I wanted to add Pilot Vee b/c other than Charlie her design was probably the one that seems to have changed the most. Pilot Vee gets a 0 sadly b/c, while I actually don’t mind her base design that much, and think she looks good, literally NOTHING about her looks like a moth. Is she even still supposed to be a moth? Asking genuinely b/c that’s what everyone says but if that’s the case I sure as hell couldn’t tell and still can’t.

Show Vee gets 1 point b/c I DO like the design element they brought back from her first ever design where her hair is supposed to mimic a moth’s wings laid back. I thought that was clever and fun. It’s the only thing tho that kind of points towards her being a moth. Again if I’m wrong and she’s not supposed to be a moth lmk but every source I’ve seen says she’s a “moth demon” or that her design was based on a moth.

HUSK—CAT—5/5

I mean just look at him. That’s a fucking cat alright! Only thing I may have docked a point for is the feather tail thing, but tbh it’s still very clear he’s a cat. If someone tells me he’s not supposed to be based on a cat tho I may lose my mind.

NIFFTY—???/5 (???)

Is Niffty supposed to be an animal? No, right? She’s just like. A weird creature/girl. Please tell me Niffty is not supposed to be a certain animal or anything b/c I have NO idea what animal that would be.

VALENTINO—MOTH—0/5

I literally had no idea this guy was supposed to be a moth until his coat turned out to be wings for some reason. Nothing about the coat made it look like wings to me. I thought his “antennae” were just feathers in his hat. Even when his coat became wings I was still very confused and thought for a moment he was supposed to be a butterfly? But no apparently he’s a moth. He’s got extra arms but I didn’t think that was specifically a “bug/moth” thing, b/c so many of the character designs in HH have extra features. I’ll be real I really don’t like anything about Valentino’s design and don’t understand the appeal of him at all. Sorry Val fans :(

KATIE KILLJOY—PRAYING MANTIS—0/5

I’m really sad I have to give out another 0 but like, I had NO idea that Katie was supposed to be a Mantis. I’m not sure if that’s even accurate like maybe that was just a rumor/speculation?? Right? Please let me know b/c I seriously NEVER would have guessed that she’s supposed to be a Praying Mantis. Even in her other form, I would have thought they were trying to imply she’s a spider…why did they give her 4 eyes? I can’t tell if they’re supposed to represent pseudo-pupils or a mantis’ ocelli but I never would have thought of them as that. I just thought she was like. A scary monster white lady/“karen”-type 😭

CHARLIE—PUPPY/PORCELAIN DOLL/LAMB?GOAT? THING???—2.5/5 (?)

So, based on the creator/character designers statements from a podcast, I believe that Charlie is supposed to be a sort of…amalgamation of the above? But honestly I’m not sure. I’m that statement they mentioned she had a lamb or puppy nose, and I think they mentioned before that her heels are supposed to look like hooves? But also the creator made a tweet saying they never intended her design to be a goat, so I don’t really know what she’s supposed to be. I gave Charlie a 2.5 b/c she DOES look like a porcelain doll to me. Or like. A. Clown??? Cause of her cheek marks. Idk. She at least looks like one of the things she’s “supposed” to be according to the creator, and I can see the puppy element with the nose if that’s what was intended. The lower ranking is more because I’ve heard MULTIPLE things about her design elements so I’m not sure what the intention was with her.

I would have bumped her up to a 3 if I knew what she was supposed to be, but b/c it’s been stated that she’s based on several things it’s hard to tell, and I can’t actually tell if that’s still the case.

———

I may do another one of these with some other characters. There are a few in Helluva Boss that I couldn’t really read either but most of those designs make much more sense to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

As an autistic person, I want to say something about The Good Doctor.

Over the last month or so - but especially the last two days - Twitter has gone nuts about dragging the absolute piss out of this show. Because autism representation is so rare in major television shows or movies, I’ve been finding myself questioning whether The Good Doctor is in fact “good” representation in the slightest or if I’m just clinging onto it because it’s one of the few shows out there with an autistic lead… and people dragging the shit out of it has made me even more unsure because I’ve only seen one and a half seasons of the show so far and so I can’t really speak on how the show has done recently in regards to portraying autism.

Personally, do I feel that Shaun in TGD represents me and how I am autistic? No. But to be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to because autism is a spectrum and the areas where my autism affects my life will be different to other people’s; it’s also worth noting that it’s been shown that autistic traits are different in girls than in boys, and that girls tend to mask more etc. Obviously this does not apply to ALL boys and ALL girls, but in general it’s thought that girls and women tend to have different traits to boys and men.

With this in mind, Shaun actually does remind me at times of a child at the school I’m currently at - again, not 100% the same but there’s similarities in regards to how they talk, what they say etc. However, that child is five-nearly-six, and Shaun is a grown man so… do with that information what you will. There have also been a couple of moments I’ve had so far watching the show where it’s seemed like lightening has struck and I’m like “Oh that’s me!” - namely the social awkwardness and a meltdown scene. It’s not every episode, it’s only on occasion, but it’s been nice to see nonetheless because the only other time I’ve witnessed that with an actual confirmed autistic character is Newt Scamander.

Obviously I don’t speak for all autistic people, and I’m very aware that many other autistic people have expressed dislike and criticism of the show - and I get it, I truly do. I do think the show isn’t exactly the best written (to put it nicely) and that it gives a very stereotypical representation of autism, namely “white boy/man autism”. I don’t want to bash the show too much because while I’ve seen complaints about it, I’ve also had some fellow autistic people say to me that they love the show and that they feel Shaun represents them - and that’s great.

I do want to express my discomfort about the fact that people have turned a scene where Shaun is having a meltdown into a meme. There is a very fine line between criticizing a piece of media for bad representation and then mocking autistic meltdowns - and I think a lot of neurotypicals are in fact just using it as an excuse to laugh at autistic people and mock us. It’s not just that scene either: I’ve seen people mocking clips showing how he stands, how he talks, how he interacts with people, and it very much feels like people just wanted a chance to make ableist comments about autistic people.

It’s also interesting that this show has so far had six whole seasons air, it’s got extremely high viewership, and yet it’s only now that people are taking offence to a scene that occurred at least four years ago. I know that Twitter has had a field day over another scene in the first season where Shaun at first struggles to understand why a trans woman is “she” (which, you know, is a whole other kettle of fish given that I’ve seen it claimed that autistic people are more likely to be trans/NB etc), and far right TERFs/bigots were using that scene as some kind of “gotcha!”… right up until it was pointed out that by the end of the episode, Shaun fully accepted the trans woman’s gender identity and used the correct pronouns.

Again, I’m not saying this was brilliant writing or anything, but it was several years ago and is only now being brought up, same with other scenes taken out of context in the show… Yes, autistic people have voiced grievances with it before, but were ignored - I don’t believe for one minute that the neurotypicals making the memes and being preachy give one shit about actually autistic people or care about us, because otherwise why were our voices ignored before? It’s only now that it’s been getting public notice for the trans episode that people are going “ohhhh this show sucks and is bad representation” as if members of the autistic community haven’t voiced that opinion for years. It just rubs me the wrong way quite frankly.

What I will say is that I’m tired of seeing people drag Freddie Highmore though. He’s a good actor, anyone who’s seen him in things he’s done since his childhood will know that, it’s not his fault if he’s given shit scripts to work with. I do also think Freddie means well with his portrayal, even if he’s (as far as we know) allistic and the fact he appeared in an Autism $peaks video (because of TGD/all the cast did it) - the man has zero social media presence whatsoever though and didn’t even know what Pokémon Go was, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt this time and assume he truly hasn’t been informed about how harmful that organisation is. Or maybe I’m just going soft on him because seven year old me had an age appropriate crush on him eighteen years ago, who knows at this point?

I’m hoping all of this talk will open up a dialogue about the show and about the representation of autism, if nothing else.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: TharnType and Gray Areas Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover the very controversial TharnType, Asian stereotypes towards queerness, and the very difficult gray areas on how this show has been interpreted by various populations over the last few years.]

TW: homophobic and derogatory ideas and language against the queer community. Critical commentary on TharnType and MAME. This review is NOT for you if you are a TharnType or MAME Big Fan.

(I want to give very special thanks to @so-much-yet-to-learn and @lurkingshan for reviewing previous versions of this post and offering the most insightful feedback I could ask for. Thank you both so much.)

Alright. Deep breaths.

TharnType was a necessary addition to the Old GMMTV watchlist. It was. I had to watch it, for:

- the tremendous IMPACT this show has had on BL culture, along with MAME’s continued influence on the genre;  - how this show affected shipper culture, and the rippling effects it’s had since then vis à vis MewGulf; - how this show continued to define “high heat” and “chemistry” in BL, and -- at least for me, possibly the most interesting point to needle on -- - what fans, ESPECIALLY the majority cishet fandom, are willing to compromise and/or equivocate on in regards to our values towards the queer community regarding what we consume in media, and how safe or unsafe it is for our queer family that this content exists in the first place.

I gotta say some stuff first before I get into this review. This is the worst show I’ve ever watched, in my own opinion. I offer this flag for MAME and TharnType fans in advance, as I get quite critical down below.

I am angry at this show, at MAME, at the BL industry for allowing this show to exist, and I unfortunately hold anger against Tee Bundit, who I know has since made shows, like Lovely Writer, that deeply criticized the BL industry (and I am enjoying his work now in Step By Step, even while I don’t hesitate to criticize it). ANYONE INVOLVED in the making of TharnType needs to hold personal and professional accountability for this show even existing. And I also think that fans need to hold THEMSELVES accountable if they defend it WITHOUT thinking about the long-term social implications of the existence of this show.

I want to also say that I need to check myself, OFTEN, as I write this, because I don’t want to be some fucking loudmouth, self-righteous ally-savior. I don’t. [My AMAZING drama friends, @lurkingshan​ and @bengiyo​, have held me down during this watch. (Friends. Thank you. Good LORD.)]

I want this review to be as fair as possible to the nostalgia of the moment that this show aired; to note that this show gave high heat, which fans clearly demanded, and IS a worthy component of some dramas if it works with the rest of what the show has to offer by way of writing; and to note that many fans saw a chemistry in MewGulf that they hadn’t seen previously. I especially note that there may be survivors of sexual assault who related to certain pieces of this show, particularly through Type’s lens and his own anger.

With that very long introduction, I will note that I’m not going to talk too much about the show details itself. I don’t need to unwind on plot. For me -- FOR ME -- the show’s plot was problematic. 

2019: earlier that year, before TT aired, you had He’s Coming To Me, which was BURIED by GMMTV, and was a TOUR DE FORCE of intricate storytelling and queer revelation. According to this amazing reblog by @so-much-yet-to-learn​ (another longtime BL observer who UTTERLY held me down during my TT watch, friend, I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THE HOURS you spent me with talking about TT and other issues), shipper fans angry at Ohm and Singto went so far as to SHOW UP TO THE GMMTV BUILDING IN BANGKOK and PROTEST against the split of the KristSingto ship. This is why, in this TT review, I talk about fans needing to take responsibility and accountability for the media we consume. I believe TT exists in part because fans have allowed it to continue to exist in the universe of BL, and many even celebrate TT’s existence -- all while, in my own opinion -- much more compelling art existed before TT (Make It Right, He’s Coming To Me) and certainly after its airing.

In discussion with @absolutebl (yet another drama expert who held me down during my TT watch, THANK YOU, SENSEI), ABL Sensei brings up that, besides a natural tendency to criticize and blame MAME for our needing to have conversations about safety towards queer family, that TT does deserve to be criticized as a standalone piece of content.

I honestly don’t know, Sensei, if I’m mature enough to make that separation, but I will try. MAME herself doesn’t exist in a vacuum: she has an industry, from producers, to showrunners, to actors, to editors, to networks -- that join her in the making of her work. I’ll do my best to separate everything, but.

I noted in my review of Love By Chance that MAME traffics in common Asian stereotypes against the queer community. At the same time, I know that often, we talk about the yaoi origins of BL in Thailand. I think, over time, the explanation of the yaoi origination has been used as a means of explaining WHY certain tropes exist, such as abuse of a partner, bullying, etc. I want to note that while I acknowledge those origins, I also strongly note (as I did in the comments of my LBC review) that yaoi origins are themselves problematic, as created by a majority cishet female artist base, and thus I question the accurate representation of queer themes both in yaoi and in early and/or questionable Thai BL that lean into common stereotypes held by Asian nations. (That being said, I do DEEPLY ACKNOWLEDGE @so-much-yet-to-learn‘s point to me that many in the queer community still consumed this media, as the West was producing next-to-nothing by way of queer love and/or queer perspectives.)

Much of what I saw in LBC and TT -- gang rape, cheating, revenge, derogatory language, hurtful stereotypes of top/bottom and husband/wife -- are repeat, word-for-word stereotypes that I heard from my Asian family growing up. Examples of what I saw by way of problematic stereotypes in TharnType include:

- Tharn repeatedly and casually calling Type “his bitch,” - The use of the F word, repeatedly, by Type, - Type attacking his out classmates, and indirectly attacking his friend, Tum, - The assumption that because Tharn and Tar are gay, that they are promiscuous (even Techno assumes this while leaving Type alone with Tharn early in the series), - Techno himself not calling out Type for his homophobia throughout the series, - The use of gang rape as a means of revenge by Lhong to Tar,

and many more. I will also note that I was incredibly uncomfortable by Lhong’s redemption at the end, as if the story demanded that Lhong’s own actions that drove him to order grievous sexual violence against another man needed to be forgiven. That was a paradigm that seemed apologetic to his actions and did not sit well with me.

As I noted to @bengiyo: us international fans may be lulled to think that Thailand is majority progressive and accepting of the queer community based off of the BLs that we watch. It IS a much more progressive culture in SE Asia in supporting the queer community, and I would assume that gay culture is able to flourish in city centers, as opposed to rural areas. 

But Thailand has NOT legalized same-sex marriage. And I posit that we in the West don’t actually realize that harmful stereotypes against the queer community absolutely still exist and flourish in Thailand, Taiwan, and elsewhere in Asia -- countries that certainly leverage BL as soft power, but nations in which familial or cultural expectations may STILL make ACTUAL coming out and public existence a dangerous or risky proposition. THIS SHIT IS GRAY. BL is fiction -- it is not reality. It is still dangerous -- YES, INCLUDING HERE IN THE STATES -- to be out in very many towns, cities, and communities around the world.

Now. When I went into TT, I understood, AS ASSUMED FACT, that MAME was a sexual assault survivor, who used this style of writing about queerness and queer love to process her own SA experiences. That equivocation gave me the serious jibbles, which I’ll talk about in a second, but I understood it to be the line that most BL observers have made about her work, and/or justification or explanation for her work existing.

I’ve since learned that this is not necessarily fact: that it is not known if MAME is an SA survivor, and that she is notoriously private and has not revealed much, if anything, about her own past.

So, from there, how do I process this? How do I process that it’s FANON -- NOT FACT -- that MAME may or may not write from a survivor’s perspective?

I also note here, thanks to the wonderful @so-much-yet-to-learn​, that many fans who are SA survivors have written in the past about how they related to Type’s anger and/or homophobia after his own assault experience. I also understand that SA survivors have, in the past, had difficulty with strong rejections of TharnType, like the one I have composed here, in reaction to the fear that they cannot tell their own stories of internal anger against their perpetrators and the communities from which their attackers come from.

Thus, I want to note a VERY DIFFICULT PROPOSITION TO WORK THROUGH. What we’re facing here is that there may be people, SA survivors in particular, who related to Type’s homophobia. This is Type’s fictional homophobia -- as written by a very real, assumed-to-be female author. At the same time, I myself very much acknowledge that I still see stereotypes against the queer community, in a very Asian voice that I am familiar with, in MAME’s shows.

Let me tell you why this gives me, personally, the jibbles. Let’s assume that MAME is an SA survivor. As someone trained in the social services, I am not sure that I would advise a potential client to create very public content that is potentially harmful towards a minority community, as a means of their own personal processing. MAME is FAMOUS. Her work is POPULAR. Can we justify the dangers that her work poses -- the stereotypes and assumptions she traffics in against our queer family -- for her own psychological processing?

If I am her therapist, I am guiding her to instead journey map, to meditate, to advise her of HUNDREDS of other therapeutic psychological modalities to process her pain -- all modalities that do not set up a minority community to be stereotyped through very publicly consumed content. 

I posit here -- MY OPINION, FAM -- that MAME has leveraged her own personal bigotry against the queer community in her shows for clout with Asian and international audiences that would not quibble about the harmfulness of the stereotypes that the show portrayed. And she’s gotten away with it for the utter control she has over her own content. AND SHE KNOWS THERE’S AN AUDIENCE FOR IT, so she keeps making what I call bigoted content.

I thought TT was a DANGEROUS show for perpetuating harmful stereotypes about queer family. And I am distraught at the BL industry for seeing dollar signs against that clout and investing in it. 

The equivocating in support of TharnType certainly exists. There are people who view this show with nostalgia, as there still wasn’t the volume of BL content, with heat, in 2019 as we have today. There are people out there who may very well openly relate to Type’s homophobia as a character, and MAME’s homophobia as an author and as a human. Hell, Foei Patara, who we see in everything these days, shared a very anti-LGBTQ+ video on his Instagram just recently.

I DO have to give a nod to nostalgia. I have to try to be fair here. This is the ENTIRE POINT of the OGMMTVC. BL fans in 2019 wanted a thing. High heat, high chemistry. I know that there are fans that are AWARE of these high-level issues of MAME’s work. And yet, there are many that still look back on TharnType with fondness, because it brought something new to the field. 

What I’m suffering from here is the equivocation of MAME’s work by way of analysis against a presumed opinion -- NOT fact -- that MAME is an SA survivor. That seems to open some sort of door to allow us to watch her work, despite the dangers of the stereotypes contained within her work.

The ethics of this. I’m not a strong enough person to go near that equivocation. Because I am not a survivor. I’m an Asian. In MAME’s voice, I hear the stereotypes against the queer community that I grew up with. And that’s where I’m writing this review. I’m hurt and appalled by her proliferating what I term to be dangerous viewpoints against my queer sisters and brothers -- assumptions that I heard growing up in my Indian community.

Fuck. Am I ever glad that I DIDN’T watch this show in 2019. I’m protected by a fortress of past and present works that I can rely on that proves that there are other arenas in which BL is being leveraged for good, for progressive art, for the introduction of ideas that support our queer family, AND that might also offer critical commentary on issues that affect other minority or vulnerable corners of society, à la Moonlight Chicken. 

I haven’t even gotten to the MewArt scandal and the problematic nature of the MewGulf ship. All of those are also very important issues, but I can’t bring myself to get deep about them, because just talking about the show itself is a lot. But Mew Suppasit’s past alleged behavior is certainly problematic, and is worth considering if folks were to think about watching this show.

In any case: I’m never watching another MAME show again, ever. And as a side note, MewGulf didn’t do it for me. At this point in 2019, I feel like we’d seen ships with much better chemistry and even heat, like PerthSaint (a MAME ship, actually), OhmToey, MaxTul, and even OhmSingto and their utterly brilliant acting. @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle noted in the comments of one of my TT late-night posts that they didn’t see the MewGulf chemistry, and frankly, I didn’t either -- I didn’t see that these guys, as the acted characters of Tharn and Type, bodily and ferally WANTED AND VISCERALLY LOVED each other in fiction, the way that actor pairs like EarthMix, OhmNanon, FirstKhao, and others have since perfected in their work as their respective characters.

This post is about the responsibility that so-called “artists” bear when taking up the mantle of created content about a minority community, as well as the responsibility that we bear, as fans, as the majority cishet female fanbase, to consume this content. MAME and the slices of the BL industry that support her MUST understand that perpetuating stereotypes about a minority community WILL HAVE VISCERAL SOCIAL IMPACTS in REINFORCING THOSE STEREOTYPES, among a majority cishet fanbase and across society, to the danger of the existence of our queer family. 

THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE QUEER CONTENT BY QUEER FILMMAKERS.

That is the way in which this paradigm will be broken over time. And us in the cishet fanbase MUST STAND READY to support art -- in the words of dear friend @wen-kexing-apologist -- by queer family, for queer family, about queer family. We in the cishet majority bear a responsibility to break the paradigm of dangerous stereotypes, perpetrated by who create content through their own bigotry, either consciously or unconsciously -- or both.

[I finished TharnType in record time. I needed to get it out of my system. And now I’m fully invested in OffGun and having a DELIGHTFUL time with Theory of Love: I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS SUBVERSIVE, MINDBENDING SHOW. Ooooooooooooooooooh. Right up my alley! Hopefully I can muster my usual Monday review for ToL -- let’s see. I still feel somewhat broken by TT, but ToL and OffGun have been SUCH a salve.

Here’s the list as it stands currently. We have two changes! First, thanks to a suggestion by @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan, I’m adding a non-BL (!!!!) to the list in 3 Will Be Free. I have a number of separate Jojo Tichakorn priorities to achieve before Only Friends airs, and this is a big one; as this is a show from 2019, I want to see where GMMTV was willing to go in pushing queer content in non-BLs, and this is the perfect time to watch it. I’ll still include a review in this space! 

And, per @absolutebl Sensei’s suggestion, I’ve added YYY (2020) to this, to enjoy Cheewin unhinged in what seems to be a disaster of a show -- but an important one for real queer representation (THANK YOU, SENSEI!). I’m excited for chaos. I’m watching it out of chronology with ITSAY and planning it as a mental break. As always, I’ll take any feedback on the list as it stands!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019)  12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review)  13) Theory of Love (2019) (watching) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn including queer content in non-BLs) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 17) 2gether (2020) 18) Still 2gether (2020) 19) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 20) YYY (2020, out of chronology) 21) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 23) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 24) Lovely Writer (2021) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 32) GAP the Series (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 33) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 34) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 35) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[e-dubbc11]

for the song lyric prompt, I'm presenting you the super classic 'with or without you' with the most incredible obsessive love presence and our fave obsessive man: billy

My dear Selene,

I love this song, it’s one of my favorites! Thank you for sending this one in. My head has been wrapped around writing for Rumlow the past couple of weeks and I’ve missed writing for Billy so I hope you like what I did here

Thank you again!

With or Without You

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: little bit of angst, fluff

Word Count: 1.3k-ish

Summary: You see a picture of Billy that you’re not very happy with

A/N: This is one of my favorite songs even though I don’t like U2 all that much.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

He was so stubborn but you were too.

Billy Russo made you absolutely crazy. No other man frustrated you like he did but you’ve never loved anyone as much as you loved him either which is why seeing that picture of him online kissing another woman shattered your heart.

The ache you felt in your chest was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It was betrayal on another level as tears pricked your eyes scrolling through social media and stopping on a grainy picture of Billy’s lips locked on someone else’s other than yours.

It was from the event that you weren’t able to attend with him because you didn’t feel well.

He told you, “Of course it’s alright, sweet girl. Just get some rest, I love you.”

“I love you.”

Those words were hard for him to say at first, he had never said them and meant it until he fell for you. That’s what he told you, so how could he do this to you? Just like it was difficult to give his heart to someone, it was hard for you to give your heart away too.

All of the others had no problem taking and taking from you but in the end you were alone with a feeling of emptiness from the pieces of you they selfishly took with them when they left.

Against your better judgement, his too, you both opened up your souls to each other, leaving your hearts vulnerable to everything you worked so hard to protect.

Sometimes it was so hard to live with him, even though you didn’t physically live WITH him. The long hours, the constant worrying about him, hoping he was alright taking on so many jobs, and the exhaustion plastered all over his face…you’ve never known anyone that worked as hard as he did.

You didn’t want to live without him though. Billy made you crazy, fights with him made you want to rip your hair out, his jealousy sometimes got out of control but yours did too, hence the rage you felt burning inside your body right now.

You wanted to find that woman and tear her limb from limb, break all of her fingers that were holding Billy’s head in place while she kissed him, and make sure she never messes with another woman’s boyfriend again.

Several texts from Billy came through as you continued to stare at the photo, tears stinging your eyes like stars burning against the night sky.

“Please talk to me, sweet girl.”

“I really need to talk to you.”

“I love you, baby…please answer me.”

Newspapers and websites marketed Billy as an “eligible” bachelor, even though he was in a relationship with you. They built him up to be a local celebrity. From humble beginnings to a handsome successful CEO, Billy Russo was the object of every woman’s affection and you knew what you were getting yourself into when you started dating him but you thought you could handle it.

And you could, until now. You didn’t want to break up with him but you couldn’t look at him or talk to him right now, it hurt too much.

Seeing that photo broke you and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave the house that day. The caption for the photo made you breathless with anger and caused your mouth to tighten.

“Where’s your girlfriend tonight, Billy Russo?”

**********

Dark gray clouds blanketed the early afternoon sky while the autumn winds blew around the sparse branches of the trees down below. You could feel the draft coming into your apartment from the weakened seals in the windows that your landlord said he was going to replace months ago. Thankfully your favorite sweater was keeping you warm as you sat down on the couch to enjoy a cup of hot tea.

Loud raps against your door startled you before you could take your first sip, almost spilling the tea into your lap.

“Baby, open the door please! I know you’re home, you haven’t left the house all day.” He said loudly so you could hear him from the other side of the door.

How does he know that? Was he spying on you?

“I don’t wanna talk to you right now, Billy!” You shouted.

Suddenly, the front door flew open and crashed against the wall. Billy had told you before that your front door should be replaced because of how old it is.

Well, he wasn’t wrong and now it definitely needs to be replaced but you were furious because of how far he took it. Just like the door, he was unhinged. But again, that’s Billy. Always quick to fly off the handle.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!” You yelled. “ARE YOU INSANE?!!”

You stood up and set your tea on the coffee table as Billy walked over to you.

“I’m not leaving until I explain myself, y/n! I know you’re angry, I know you saw the photo but that woman kissed ME, alright?!! Yeah, I had more to drink that I usually do at these things but I was upset that you weren’t with me last night!” He confessed.

You stood there looking at him with a confused look on your face. You had been to a lot of these fundraiser events with Billy, why was he so upset about you not being at this one?

“I wasn’t feeling well, Billy. I said I was sorry and you said it was ok! Go in my room, the dress I wanted to wear is still hanging on the edge of the door, I didn’t do this on purpose!” You exclaimed.

His expression softened and he was visibly upset, but he wasn’t angry.

Billy lowered his voice. “I know you didn’t, I just…had something planned, that’s all. And I pushed her away as soon as her lips touched mine, ask Frankie.”

You could tell Billy felt terrible for what happened and you…believed him.

“She had been following me around all night. I’m so sorry, sweet girl, I’m sorry.” He said softly.

“What did you have planned, Billy?” You said, remembering what he mentioned a minute ago.

He ran his long fingers through is ebony colored hair and brushed his beard as he paced back and forth, looking very nervous about what he was going to say next.

“I was gonna ask you if…if you would move in with me.” He said.

You felt your stomach drop and start to flutter. Your eyes welled up with tears, happy tears this time.

“Billy…I—I” You started to say.

He interrupted you. “I know we’re together most of the time but on nights that we’re not, I don’t like going to bed alone or waking up alone. I don’t like being without you. I love you.”

Billy inched closer to you, close enough to inhale the scent of his cologne and you felt his warm breath on your lashes.

You snaked your arms around his neck and gazed into his deep brown eyes. “I love you too, handsome. You make me absolutely nuts but I’d rather be with you than without you, so my answer is yes.”

Gently scraping your nails against his scalp, you pulled him closer so you could kiss him which he gladly returned. He loved being touched by you, and only you.

“I told you that you needed a new door, that thing was easy to kick in.” He chuckled.

You playfully slapped his shoulder. “You lunatic, I’m gonna get in so much trouble for that! I know I’m gonna be leaving anyway but you owe me a new door, Mr. Russo.”

He kissed you on the forehead. “I’ll get you a new door, baby…I’ll get you whatever you want.”

Through the storm, we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I'm waiting for you

With or without you

With or without you, ah, ah

I can't live

With or without you

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[thesaltwateremu]

I’ve seen a lot of people saying that norris and chester can’t be jmart because you’re able to listen to tmagp without any knowledge of tma. Here’s why I disagree

I feel like it’s fairly common for sequels to be written with the intention that it’s still understandable from an outside perspective. With movies especially this makes sense since i at least don’t think it’s uncommon for people to watch sequels without seeing the original (I mean really, how many of us have seen every marvel movie. Or with the new hunger games movie, a lot of my friends who watched it had never seen the original triology)

From a monetary standpoint, you want to make your sequel accessible to as many people as possible. With tma, there’s 200 episodes. That can be really overwhelming for someone unsure if they want to listen to protocol. By making it possible to listen to tmagp without having listened to tma, they are way more likely to listen, and might even go back and listen to tma. Marvel is a good comparison here: there’s a lot of marvel movies. It’s overwhelming for someone to have to watch all of them to understand the plot, so marvel makes their sequels work as standalones, while it is obviously more enjoyable if you’ve watched others. Same deal with hunger games. Also the friends I mentioned before who had never watched the original movies now really want to see them, bringing more money to the franchise

Jmart being in tmagp really wouldn’t be that alienating for new listeners. The main thing that would make tmagp difficult to listen to without context from tma is worldbuilding. However, this problem is avoided due to tmagp taking place in a completely different universe. Even original tma fans don’t have much world building to go off of. This is actually a big reason why I think the fears will be different in tmagp. It took so long for that world building to occur, it’d be boring for old listeners to hear the same thing again, and confusing for new ones to go on without it. Jmart is different because they’re just two characters. Sure, we’ll have a better understanding of who they are if we’ve listened to tma, but I feel like it’s not that difficult to quickly sum up their realtionship and their past in a way that’s understandable to new listeners. Plus we would need some backstory anyways since we don’t really know how they ended up in the tmagp universe

I almost think it’d be a missed opportunity if they didn’t have jmart or some other direct connection to tma in tmagp because one big reason for making sequels is bringing more attention to the original piece of media. Having a direct connection to tma, especially if it’s explained in a way that’s brief and intriguing could make new listeners more likely to go back and listen to tma

TLDR: tmagp could have jmart because it’s pretty common for movies and other media to make their sequels understandable for new viewers, and it wouldn’t take that much effort for there to be a quick explanation of who jmart is for new listeners

This wasn’t meant to attack anyone who’s been saying this, I’m just providing a counterpoint. If you disagree, that’s completely fine, I’m not here to start beef with strangers on the internet. Feel free to leave your thoughts agreeing, disagreeing, or otherwise, just be nice about it :) (this goes for all posts of people posting their thoughts and theories btw, we have so little info to go off of, just let people speculate without shutting them down)

(also I realize this post kinda sounds like I’m saying rusty quill is only making a sequel for money and attention. This is absolutely not what I’m saying, these are just often reasons that sequels are made, in addition to loving the story, characters, fandom, etc)

[wishsparkleemoji]

Sky iceberg tier 5: Kizuna hair

Full iceberg

While making this iceberg, I asked some people who know more about Sky than I do if they could recommend things to add, and generally put things I’ve heard of but generally don’t know much about here, and sometimes I don’t have much to work with in terms of context. I trust they exist/happened, but if I say something confidently here or in the 6th tier preceded by “I’ve been told that…”, maybe take the finer details with a barrel of salt.

Ark mushrooms: During the season of enchantment, there were a few floating mushrooms around the forgotten ark, which when interacted with, would give you candles (shoutout to “littlecuteblue” for correcting me on this entry! I thought it was seasonal candles).

Blue seasonal candles: During the season of lightseekers, the seasonal candles were blue.

OneShot collab possible: It has been wanted for a long time for Sky and OneShot to collaborate. I’m pretty sure every Sky player upon finishing Solstice had the same realization, that these two pieces of media are really, really good for each other. Even one of the creators of the game, Nightmargin, plays Sky, and has expressed openness to doing a collaboration (or so I’ve been told)— which is what this entry is referring to! Sorry the original text was kind of clickbait-y.

Lost livestream: TGC did a livestream during Lightseekers (I think?) that was eventually taken down or otherwise “lost” for reasons I don’t know. A transcript (or something similar) for it was made though, and if you ask lorechat on skycord nicely they might give it to you.

Juggler OOB: Back before seasonal spirits were free to relive before they were traveling spirits, it was found that if you OOB in the right spot, you can find a memory from juggler floating in the void— and this was from when they were a very heavily wanted TS.

King statue: Ok I’m gonna be honest. I know this exists (or existed at one point), but I don’t remember what it is. All I know right now is that at some point, a statue of what appears to be the King was found, possibly via hacking.

King was a skykid: It’s a popular theory in the lore community that the King was a skykid, or even the first skykid, which is why they were able to complete the prophecy trials before anyone else— skykids are just like that, it’s easier for them (easier than for an ancestor, anyway).

This is a pretty small tier, so here’s a bonus entry that I decided not to include on the full iceberg:

Where is Aviary?: Aviary is seemingly connected to Harmony Hall—the OG, not like a pocket version, through a building, which is already kind of suspicious if you ask me, but HH is also connected to the village theater and the rest of the village of dreams from the back exit, which also works if you enter through Aviary… which is also connected to the Wind paths. Where the heck are we?!

[theirbbygirl]

Bus Boy ; YJN

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: Fluff

Tags: afab!reader, kindergartenteacher!jeongin, a small moment of stress and overworking but nothing too intense, small mention of reader's mean boss, barely edited i'm so sorry

You had never thought that something more than just a "good morning" could bloom between you and the cute boy on the bus.

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Every morning you took the bus to your work at 8 am and at 6 pm going home, and every morning and evening you would see the cute fox-eyed boy on the same bus as you. The two of you were friendly strangers, always sitting just a few seats apart every morning and evening and exchanging smiles or soft “good mornings” and “good evenings.”

Neither of you had spoken to each other more than that however, it was like an unspoken rule, try not to ruin what you have now. And to be completely honest, you were okay with that. You were perfectly content with seeing his cute smile in the mornings and the same in the evenings.

Over the year you had continuously encountered the bus boy you presumed that he probably worked at the kindergarten down the street from your office. He wore the same blue lanyard you’d seen the teachers there wear when you went down to interview a couple of the faculty for an article you were assigned. He seemed young, probably right out of grad school, but still held that air of capability around him despite his young features.

You worked as a journalist up the street right next to your favorite cafe, so when you both got off at the same stop he would go down to the school while you went up to get your morning coffee.

When the night came around, you’d run into him on the same bus, looking more tired than you had seen him in the morning, but that was understandable considering he worked with kids for hours on end. At times, you caught yourself mindlessly smiling thinking about how he would look like trying to teach a classroom of young, rowdy kids. The thought wouldn’t leave your brain, and you probably looked like an idiot smiling at nothing on the night bus home.

You saw Fox Boy again today, he was wearing black slacks with a light blue button-up, and a delicate pair of white glasses set atop his nose. His hair was cut differently and black now, compared to the light brown you had last seen. Somehow the look made him look so much more mature, and you almost tripped over yourself making your way to a seat towards the back of the bus. You went past him like you usually did, brightly smiling at him while he returned the action, adding a “good morning” to it.

For whatever reason, you were feeling bolder today, and took the seat next to him across the aisle. He didn’t seem fazed by your change of seating, so you relaxed into your seat and watched the buildings pass by through the windows.

“Are you heading to your work?” He asks, cautiously breaking the silence.

You’re left speechless for a moment, surprised he even asked you a question first. “Uh, yeah, I work at the Media company just up the street.”

“Ah, so that’s where you’re headed every morning.” He chuckles for a second. “I think I saw you around one time, you were taking an interview for one of my colleagues, back in August?”

“Yeah! I was,” You chuckle with him. “It was for a simple piece. I take it you work as a teacher?”

“Mhmm.” He hums. “Got hired pretty early, but working with the kids is always something I’ve wanted to do.”

You both laugh together for a few moments, talking about your jobs and what goes on during your days. It was nice to talk to him–really talk to him–for the first time.

“Jeongin.” He says and holds out his hand for a shake as he sees your shared stop come into view, and you realize we had been talking all this time without knowing each other’s name. “Yang Jeongin.” 

“Y/n, Lee Y/n.” You respond with a smile and shake his hand. “It’s nice to formally meet you Yang Jeongin.”

“The pleasure is mine, Lee Y/n.” His bright smile felt like it shined brighter than the morning sun.

You both step off the bus and say “See you later” before heading to your respective occupations. You looked forward to being more friendly with the Bus Boy you now have a name for, Yang Jeongin.

Two weeks had passed of you talking to Jeongin daily, and you couldn’t be happier. He was relatively easy to talk to, about his family life, his brother, and how he finished school in Busan and transferred to Gimpo for work. You shared your own backstory, how you were the eldest child of two and your hometown was Ilsan. There was something that made it so easy to talk to Jeongin, and you laughed a lot more often when you were around him.

Soon enough it came to a point where the highlight of your days was seeing him on the buses to work and back. Your feelings were getting dangerously serious, but you couldn’t really stop them so you didn’t try.

This evening, you were almost late to the bus, thanking the driver for waiting up for you when he saw you sprinting down the street. Work had kept you a little later because your supervisor wasn’t exactly happy with the quality of your work recently.

When you walked down the aisle, you saw a very tired Jeongin sitting towards the back of the bus, instead of the middle where he usually was. He was already passed out with his head leaning against the window. You chuckled and sat next to him, making yourself comfortable as the bus made its usual route.

The movement of the bus made Jeongin’s head sway back and forth and hit the window a few times and it looked uncomfortable if the frown on Jeongin’s half-asleep face was anything to go by. Carefully, you led his head to rest on your shoulder and let him stay there. A second later he snuggles further, finally comfortable.

You were glad he was asleep so that he couldn’t notice the blush evident on your cheeks. Had he awoken when you moved his head to your shoulder you would’ve died of embarrassment on the spot.

The whole ride to your stop he was asleep on your shoulder. He’s probably had a long day of teaching, you thought. When your stop was the upcoming one you reached over and pressed the buzzer to alert the driver that you were getting off next, and you didn’t wake Jeongin until the bus actually stopped.

“Pst, Jeongin.” You tap his shoulder a few times, and when that doesn’t work you brush your hand through his hair. Luckily, that does the trick. “This is our stop.”

“Hm?” He groans groggily, confused for a moment, then scared as his eyes go wide. “Oh my god did I fall asleep on your shoulder? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for that to happen I just-“

“Hey hey hey, no worries alright? You were asleep by the time I got on and your head was moving around so I let you rest on my shoulder for a bit, thought you had a long day.” You smile sweetly as the both of you step off the bus.

“You could say that, I’m so so sorry Y/n I was really looking forward to talking with you tonight. I was gonna ask you something…” He trails off and pouts as if disappointed in himself.

“Don’t sweat it Jeongin, we all have those days. Besides, there’s always tomorrow, right?” You say, smiling up at him again.

“Yeah, I guess. Well, I won’t keep you here much longer, I’ll see you tomorrow Y/n!” He says as he begins to walk away.

“See you tomorrow Jeongin!”

Four days later, it’s your turn to be dead tired on your way back from work.

The day after Jeongin fell asleep on your shoulder on that bus ride home, you had gotten an earful from your boss. He was infuriated that none of you articles that you were writing were up to his standards and he sent you away telling you that if you didn’t get it together by the end of the week you would be risking your position. Not wanting to lose your job, you spend the next 2 nights and 3 days working, even later into the night at home. You were relieved that the article you turned in today was good enough for him, but by the time it was time to go home, you were absolutely beat.

You felt like one of those zombies from Train to Busan when you walked to the bus, and you felt a pang of disappointment when you got on and saw Jeongin wasn’t there. You took a seat and rested your head on the window, missing the rush of footsteps as you easily slipped off to sleep.

An incomprehensible amount of time later you wake up with a groan, realizing that you were definitely not rested against the window like when you first dozed off. Instead, you were on a firm but weirdly comfortable shoulder and a chuckle rings in your sleepy ears as you sit up properly.

Meeting eyes with the man who allowed you such comfort, Jeongin, you quickly melt into a pile of embarrassment.

“Sleep well?” He asks.

“Jeongin oh my gosh I’m so sorry I-“ You gulp. “Oh god, I’m so humiliated I didn’t mean to fall asleep on your shoulder. Were you uncomfortable? I’m so sorry-“

“Y/n, relax, you did the same for me the other day and you looked basically dead and I thought you’d be much more comfortable if you put your head on my shoulder instead of hitting it against the window over and over.” He smiles sweetly.

“You didn’t have to do that…” I say softly.

“But I wanted to, come on, let's get off the bus before the driver gets mad.”

You both walk out of the bus together after thanking the driver who had a knowing smile on his face as you exited. You stand in front of each other awkwardly when under the bus stop’s shelter, an uncomfortable silence wafting between you two.

“So…”

“I...” You speak at the same time and your eyes flick to each other, chuckling awkwardly.

“You go first.” You say.

“Okay, uh, well, I’m not entirely sure how to do this but I wanted to thank you for what you did the other day, I don’t think I formally thanked you for that. So, thank you.” He rubs a hand behind his neck, embarrassed.

“Oh, you don’t need to thank me for that. That’s what friends are for, right?” For whatever reason the mention of friends pangs your heart unknowingly, and you regret even mentioning the word.

“Yeah, friends…” He trails off.

There’s a beat of silence, and when you think neither of you has anything else to say you speak up.

“Well, I should probably get going…”

“Yeah, yeah, you probably should. Get home safe, yeah?”

“I will.” You smile at his concern and wave before turning around and walking away.

You only get about half a block away before you hear your name being called and fast footsteps coming from behind. You turn around and see Jeongin running up to you, slowing to a jog when he gets closer until he slows to a full stop in front of you.

“Jeongin?”

“What if…” He pants. “What if I don’t want to be your friend?”

You can feel yourself physically deflate at his words. “Oh, I’m so sorry then I assumed that-“

“Wait, no no no that’s not what I meant I-“ Another heavy exhale. “I meant that I want to be more than just friends, with you.”

This time your heart soars and you’re at a loss for words.

“Unless, you know, you don’t feel the same which I would totally understand I-“

You step forward to where you’re almost chest-to-chest with Jeongin, and he stops in the middle of his sentence.

“Can I kiss you?” You whisper out.

“Uhm, yes?” He says more like a question, to which you raise your eyebrows, like another question if he really wanted it. “Yes, please.” He says this time, and you lean forward, connecting your lips.

The kiss wasn’t anything grand, it was more like two high school students sharing their first kiss, awkward and unmoving. But when you separated from Jeongin he leaned forward a bit, chasing your lips. You smile at the action and peck his lips again.

“What if there was a way for you to thank me for letting you sleep on my shoulder?” You say.

“Oh really, and what would that be?” He asks.

“Get lunch with me, this weekend, when we’re both off.”

“Hmm,” He pulls a face like he’s thinking and you giggle “I like the sound of that.” He chuckles.

“But,” you point a finger at his face. “I pay.”

“Hm?” He hums confused.

“To thank you for letting me sleep on your shoulder.”

“We’ll see about that.” He says mischievously, knowing there was no way in hell he was letting you pay on your first date with him. 

notes from nyx:

so this is definitely something that has been sitting in my drafts for more than a year 😭 i can’t really tell if my writing has changed much from where i was when i wrote this but i tried editing it a little bit so it’s a little better, but i’m not sure how well i did with that 😅

i hope you enjoyed reading this and please feel free to reply/reblog what you enjoyed/what you want to see more of!! even a small comment is the highlight of a writer’s day ☺️