#i'd say the only thing that's a spoiler is the image but even then it's just sonic being cute

[sleepyy-jayy]

finally got to watch s3 of sonic prime wit @sinizte and i have some thoughts

not many spoilers tbh, i wouldnt rlly even consider it to be but jus in case ⚠️⚠️

while the story overall was really good, season 3 didnt do it for me as much as the other seasons. not to say it didnt all wrap up together really nicely

i found the episodes to be awfully repetitive with each other, but closer to the end is when i really got my interest in

parts of the last episode had me in an emotional chokehold like cmon brug dont do this to us

BUT THIS DOESNT MEAN I DIDNT LOVE IT I EAT ANY SONIC CONTENT UP NO MATTER THE QUALITY

anyways those are my thoughts jus felt like sharing them 🐈🐈

also when sonic did this >>>>>>

my little wet dog

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

Filming people without their consent is a massive issue of not only privacy but ableism that's been going on for many years.

It started out with filming more visibly disabled people, like high support needs autistic people having meltdowns in public and (especially fat) disabled people literally just using mobility aids, but once that was deemed less acceptable it moved to other things. Filming people acting "weird" in public. Eating weird foods. Falling asleep in weird places. Wearing weird things. Stimming. You get the idea. It's no longer safe to be visibly weird in public and that's an issue for a lot of disabled people. I recently had to lay down on the floor of a department store because I had an ME crash while out shopping. Not only did I have to worry about the normal things like people coming up to ask me if I'm ok, I also had to worry about some video of me at my lowest point, when I'm suffering immensely, being shared around as "haha look at this weird bitch on the floor". It's upsetting. It's scary.

And then there's fakeclaiming. A fun trend where people will film us in public to "prove" there's some kind of huge epidemic of people faking disability. Spoiler alert: there is not. Most of the time the people they film are real disabled people who don't fit into the expected mold for disability, usually service dog teams or people who use mobility aids who don't "look sick". And you would think this trend would be some kind of abled nonsense, but it's not. It's often other disabled people doing the fakeclaiming. Yes, there are some times when it's obvious a service dog isn't trained properly, but other than that, it's damn near impossible to tell if someone is faking a disability, and you're much more likely to target a disabled person than a faker. I'd love to say this trend was new, but it's been going on since the days of "the people of walmart" where many of the people posted were fat mobility aid users, always with the assumption that they used it because they were too fat or lazy to move on their own. In fact, the image of a fat person in a mobility cart has become almost synonymous with "lazy". It's one of the things that drove me to get my own expensive power wheelchair, to avoid the judgmental stares in the grocery store when I was just trying to exist, to avoid the fear of public shame. Even now when I stand up from my chair to walk to the bathroom stall or reach something on a high shelf, I watch the corners of my vision for that telltale phone in the air. I feel like I'm never safe from the judgemental eye of the internet, even when I'm logged off, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels that way.

Tik Tok, YouTube, Instagram, these places are all great for disabled people, especially those of us without access to the outside world. But it's also become a source of great anxiety for anyone who's uncontrollably "weird", mostly disabled people. Leave us alone, I'm begging you, we just want to go to the fucking grocery store in peace and safety.

Tl;dr

Stop filming people for "acting weird" or "faking a disability" in public. It's ableist, it's invasive, it's creepy, and it's humiliating. People don't exist in public for your amusement and especially not disabled people. You don't know who is disabled and who isn't no matter how many disabled people you've known or how sure you are that the person is faking.

[jedi-hawkins]

Callsign: Omega

post-s3 finale head cannons (spoilers, duh)

Omega, she’s become one of the most famous pilots for the rebellion.

She names her x-wing “Havoc 5” for her brothers

Of course it has their ct numbers written across the back, right behind the cockpit, for they’re always watching her six. She can't see them when she's flying, and frankly doesn't look at the worn numbers there every day, but they're there always.

The belly of her x-wing is covered in tally marks. The blue ones are for each clone she’s helped free, an ohmage to a clone her brother Echo told her about, ARC-5555. The black ones are for every other being she's helped free. And the red ones, those are for the lives that have passed on and become one with the Force.

On part of her landing gear is a blue pawprint.

On her helmet she only has five things painted, a knife, a crosshair, a tooka doll, a handprint, and a pair of goggles.

On the shoulder of her flight suit, she adds another CF 99 patch, just like the one on her jacket.

She goes by callsign “Omega” for she is the last. The end. The final thing her enemies will see, the last thing the Empire will feel as it falls. She is the being that brings an end to the suffering that so many clones have faced as wards of the Empire when she shows up to liberate them. Omega.

Bonus: The first time she returns to Pabu, Hunter immediately notices the nose art she's chosen to paint on her shuttle, the one built from the Marauder's salvage. It's a stark replica of the nose art that once adorned the original ship, back in the Clone Wars. His stomach plummets and he can't even find the words. As his daughter strolls down the ramp, she immediately bursts into laughter at the look on his face.

Her brothers, Crosshair and Wrecker stroll into the courtyard, the larger of the two asking loudly, "What's so funny, 'Meg?"

"I think that is what's so funny." The lankier one replies, gesturing to the nose of the shuttle with his left hand. He's forgone his prosthetic today. Some days he wears it, others he chooses to wear his cap with pride.

Wrecker scratches his beard and both his eyes widen, "WAIT- IS THAT?"

"So, it would seem." Crosshair says, placing a toothpick between his lips. "Breathe, Hunter." He says pointedly at his brother, who still looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"I-uhh. It's good to have you home, Omega." He finally stutters out.

He wraps his arms around her tightly as always, but his eyes are still glued to the hull of her shuttle. "Done some decorating, I see?"

"Yeah." She replies simply, giving Wrecker and Crosshair their own due hugs. "You like it?"

"It certainly is... something." Hunter gets out, stumbling over his words yet again.

"I found the image in some old Republic files we recovered, it reminded me of something I saw as a kid, but I don't remember where." She says, coming to stand beside Hunter again.

"Ehhh... Omega." Her father groans, running a hand through his greying hair. "Do you... Do you remember what the Marauder looked like when we first met?"

She turns to him. "No, why do you ask?"

Hunter finally peels his eyes away from the shuttle to face his daughter. "That picture you found... That was... That was the Marauder, that's where you know it from. You only saw it once. We scrubbed it off as soon as we decided to come back to Kamino for you."

"Really? I had no recollection." Omega tries to stop the grin from spreading across her face, but she can't help it, and Hunter, still perceptive as always scoffs at her.

"Why you little..." He growls at her, stifling his own laughter.

"I think she knows..." Crosshair chimes in, running his hand through his silver locks.

Wrecker's jaw drops, "Wait, you know where that's from?"

Omega shakes her head at her brothers. "Of course I know, I never forgot how awkward you all were when I asked about it. It didn't click exactly why until I found that old picture. Thought I'd bring it back for old time's sake, eh Hunter?"

Hunter's eyes widen as words escape him once again.

"Kidding," Omega teases. "I just wanted to see what your reaction would be."

Crosshair steps closer to the shuttle to examine the paint job. "Though this has been wildly entertaining, it might be best for you to scrub it, 'Mega."

Omega crosses her arms. "Why? You did it first little brother."

His eyes narrow at his sister, he's the only one she ever pulls that with and though he secretly loves it, she can't know that. "I mean it." He says sternly, pointing his toothpick at her. "Otherwise, Hunter is going to have an aneurysm every time you come home."

Omega looks to the clone beside her, just barely an inch shorter than her now. She places a hand on his shoulder, "Of course I'll scrub it. Echo thought the idea was hilarious. Plus, it gave me an opening to show you this."

She gently reaches into her bag and brings out a holoframe, turning it so Hunter can see. It looks just like any other quick photo taken in a Republic shipyard. Troopers are milling around in the back, by the looks of the landscape it might've been Ryloth. The focus of the photo, however, is a black Omicron-class attack shuttle and five clone commandos posed in front of it in red and black armor.

Their helmets are off, their faces young and confident, proud of their most recent mission. Though, the sniper has a rifle held in his right hand, and the one crouched in front doesn't have his goggles on. But it's clear who it is, all five of them. And on the nose of the attack shuttle behind them, is the striking portrait of the last senator of Naboo.

[misc-obeyme]

So uh. Lesson 38. Man I swear it was just yesterday I was writing the post about Lesson 37?! Augh.

Okay, spoilers below, and be prepared 'cause it was another CRAZY CRAZY LESSON. No I didn't take another 100 screenshots why would you think that? Also I apologize, this is another rather unhinged post.

OKAY NEW THEORY.

"Father" is Nightbringer! Right?!? Tell me I'm not alone in thinking this might be the case!!

Okay, so maybe not, but we had so much Father talk this lesson!! Way more than any other, I'd say!

And I hated it?!?

Okay lemme backtrack a bit.

So, we got Lucifer in ice and chains and he's yelling at his Father saying what do you want, you never tell me anything, give me a sign!

And then he breaks out of his chains, but he's completely out of control! And then DIAVOLO shows up.

SIR. There is just something about Diavolo in full demon form, getting all angry and ready to fight... But I don't think I've ever seen Diavolo with an ominous aura like that?? I can't remember for sure, but I swear it doesn't happen too often. Anyway, he straight up fights with Lucifer to try to calm him down.

The girls are fighting! I didn't crop this bottom image as much as I usually do because I need you all to see how BIG these two are in their full demon forms like this. All those wings...

Note that the angels and MC are watching all of this from the sidelines... and then Simeon blesses MC and I am in love with him and his beautiful face.

YOU are the only one making me swoon at the moment though.

Anyway, then all the bros show up and save the day! I was like yeah, that checks out. Lucifer & Diavolo are going at it and MC tries to get in the way, but it's not enough until all the others show up, too. As soon as Lucifer sees his brothers are all right, he calms down.

Asmo suggests a hug and Lucifer AGREES. They have a group hug where Lucifer is clearly pulling everyone into it himself. He apologizes to MC (!!) and THEN as if all this wasn't enough, MC's ring starts to glow and Lucifer turns into his angel form!!

Once again uncropped so you can see this ridiculous mf and all his wings.

Diavolo is smitten.

And he kneels!!!!!!

He kneels to Lucifer in angel form!!!! And all the others do too!!!!!

I lost my goddamn mind at this part. And Lucifer's like I don't understand why is this happening? And Simeon is like, "he" heard you and this is your answer. He wants you to feel his love and his forgiveness and blah blah blah (I'm paraphrasing). But I need to tell you all this even though I don't normally go into this much detail and here is why.

FUCK THAT GUY.

This is "his" way of showing Lucifer that he loves him?!?!

Diavolo, get off your knees, you are not helping this situation!!!

Okay, okay, let me calm down.

Here is why this bothers me so much. And please note that this just my personal opinion and the way it all came off to me! I'm totally open to hearing other opinions on it.

I hate this because it makes no sense. This is the same Father that was going to kill Lilith, the same one who allowed the brothers and Lucifer, the one he supposedly loves so much, to fall in the first place.

I don't care if Michael is the one behind everything. If their Father guy can do this, then there's no way he couldn't also prevent all of this.

The only way I'm going to give him a chance at all is if they somehow make it so that he can't do much at all. He's trapped or something. Michael is truly the mastermind behind it all and Father is doing what he can from where he is (like imprisoned or something).

Because otherwise, this makes no sense.

AND WASN'T I RIGHT?? It turned out that the whole thing was orchestrated by the Celestial Realm AND the Devildom! The three worlds have an agreement - powerful beings can be imprisoned in Cocytus for their crimes if at least two representatives out of three agree. One from the Celestial Realm did. This was confirmed by Simeon, who went back briefly to ask Michael. However, Michael wouldn't tell him who did it.

NO. You can't be content with that! Michael obviously knows who it was!! So why would he protect them?? Or is he protecting himself?!?

And then someone from the Devildom did, too! But instead of just being like oh well, guess it's a mystery, Diavolo blames himself and says he's doing everything he can to find out who did it. My money is on the House of Lords.

So they were in cahoots, as I suspected!

Anyway, I just don't understand what all of this was supposed to accomplish for Lucifer's character. If they want to make us question the Celestial Realm, then yo I was already on that train! This whole situation certainly makes Michael look very suspicious. And Lucifer goes on and on later about how he must have forgotten about his father's love and blah blah. And I'm like what???

Also this whole part where Lucifer was dreaming or whatever and the brothers were angels:

Levi says "Our orders always come through Michael." That's the crux of this whole thing. We don't know enough about the state of "Father" to really know for sure.

Again, if it turns out that "Father" isn't terrible and somehow had no say in all the bad things that are happening and was truly trying to help Lucifer, then fine. I can accept that. But from where things are right now, it seems more like "Father" can't let Lucifer go and in this case, that's making things worse for Luci.

Do you really think giving Lucifer back his angel form long enough for everyone to be in awe and even make Diavolo kneel is somehow helping him? Because I disagree. Leave Lucifer alone already.

Though he then passes out and sleeps for quite a while.

And oh! Okay, here is my favorite part hee hee:

Obviously I squealed a lil when he showed up! They were all stuck in Cocytus and couldn't figure out how to get home. And someone was like "if only Barbatos could portal us home" and then this happened.

My knight in shining armor 😭

He's so practical. I'm in love with him.

Then we make a pact with Lucifer. AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

Flashbacks to the OG, anyone?? I guess he would still lie to himself like this, we are in the past after all. And I think he genuinely believes that MC is his at first. What a delusional simp he turns out to be, though, huh?

And then!!

Cocytus Hall is destroyed because of course it was named that due to being built on top of the entrance to Cocytus. What was the point of that exactly? Why wasn't it just Purgatory Hall from the start?? I don't know.

Hard Lesson:

Diavolo, Barbatos, Mephisto, and all the Little Ds are discussing the destruction of Cocytus Hall and that's when we find out they rebuild it into Purgatory Hall.

We also see Little D No 1 who makes an appearance for the first time. Barbatos says he wasn't able to maintain a physical form up until now. Diavolo speculates it's because their "Father" couldn't let Lucifer go before.

I do not understand this "Father" at all. I'm so confused about it and it's making me crazy (in case you couldn't tell).

Yeah, we got to make a pact with Lucifer. We got to kiss him. It's heavily implied we did some other stuff with him, too.

But this lesson was mostly about Father and his love and to me that all seemed to come out of freakin' nowhere. Especially since last I checked, it was Father who caused all of this bullshit to begin with???

I don't actually think "Father" is Nightbringer, but wouldn't that be interesting? Father of all demons is also the father of all angels? Why would they be different entities? Maybe they're two halves of the same whole? Maybe they're siblings?

I just don't know.

Yeah that's how I felt when Simeon and the angels were like okay see ya we're going back to the Celestial Realm! It's okay, Barb saved us. At least he seems to be chill about things.

And Solomon told the brothers he wasn't going to take MC back to the human world right away, so it's not the end yet. But can we go back now? I want to! I swear by now, I'd have confronted Barbatos because I think he knows what's going on and couldn't he just take me back to the present without all these other shenanigans? And make Solomon come back with me too, obviously. In fact, past!Barb can come too. You can never have too many Barbs!

Okay I'm devolving into nonsense. I just don't know how I feel about any of this. It's not making sense and I really hope that the next lesson clears some of this up for me.

[godisasimp]

Firefly's true identity "theory"

But like there is so many signs pointing towards it I don't think it's a theory.

There's 1 singular picture that is a leak : so no story leaks - but spoilers for Penacony's 2.0 story and if you want to keep yourself as blind and go with what you want to keep the suspense i would advise you do not read this theory : it could ruin the upcoming reveal and make it less impactful for some.

1- Firefly is working with someone

A person that can make themselves invisible through memories, as if bending reality to keep their identity secret. We only of one person that can do something like this : SilverWolf, a Stellaron Hunter. But upon first arriving in Penacony's dreamscape, we see SilverWolf... But who is she with? Sam.

Also it is very in character for the Stellaron Hunters to work in the shadows ; they rarely play a major role in the stories we've seen so far. Even when they were the ones to initiate the story of The Xianzhou Luofu they weren't the main antagonist, they were in the background.

So them being in the shadows doing their thing? Yeah.

Also both Firefly and her companion are interested in the Watchmaker's "Legacy", which is most likely a Stellaron (see Bonus) so that mysterious companion being a Stellaron Hunter is highly likely.

2- Firefly mentions a "Mecha"

There isn't a lot of humanoid robots in Honkai Star Rail, let alone in Penacony, the "Silver Armor" also basically confirms that this is Sam they're talking about. Now why would Firefly of all people talk about Sam ?

She has no reason to know him and talk about him ; unless he was chasing her but Sam doesn't chase people. He is stated to be the most ruthless Stellaron Hunter : ''If you entered the room and turned on the lights Kafka and Blade would be waiting for you on the couch, Sam? He wouldn't even let you turn the lights on''

So if he was pursuing Firefly. She would have been dead the millisecond their eyes meet.

While talking about Sam's violence I'd like to point out that : He didn't acknowledge Trailblazer (only mentioning the Galaxy Hunter and Memokeeper) and allowed us to leave. Yes, the one who would kill in a fraction of a second, would have spared the Trailblazer. Maybe it's because of Elio's plan for the Trailblazer (we were given life by the Stellaron Hunters so it would be weird for them to kill us right after) or it could be because Firefly's consciousness (still unclear if Sam and Firefly are two identities for 1 person or 2 separate entities) stopping Sam due to her affection for Trailblazer.

3- The achievement

I have nothing to say except that it's weird that the achievement we get for fighting Sam is named "Old Friends, New Friends" why would it be named that? Sam isn't a friend to the Trailblazer, at this point in time he is an enemy.

4- Sam's design

First let's talk about his "wings"

Those aren't designed as random shapes, but specifically to look like fireflies wings.

Images as well as this "fact" are taken from TheRealPetraeus on Twitter

Also Sam's color scheme/palette is very close to Firefly's : mainly light gray/Silver with teal and brown accents and even the orange "scarf" Firefly has could represent Sam's fire

5- Clockie

Clockie can only be seen by childish/pure hearted people, but guess who can't see him? Firefly, despite her seemingly fitting the criteria perfectly.

-------

Bonus : Watchmaker's "Legacy"

It isn't said what this legacy is, but the presence of the Stellaron Hunters is a massive hint at the fact that a Stellaron is present in Penacony ; this and the fact that Penacony is encountering a crisis with the Dreamscape. And Firefly is after this "Legacy" ; which is both a hint at the true nature of the Watchmaker's "Legacy" and Firefly's true identity as a Stellaron Hunter.

[dogddays]

❝ 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 . . . 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 . . . [ dr. sawyer ]

[ spoilers for ch. 3 ! ]

DogDay's   voice   actor   is   shared   with   that   of   Dr.   Sawyer,   the   doctor   responsible   for   the   Bigger   Bodies   Project.   And   while   I   was   shocked   to   find   out   that   they   were   the   same   and   not   shared   with   Rich   from   another   tape   in   Chapter   3,   I   must   say   I   do   enjoy   the   idea   of   it   if   not   only   for   the   angst   !

DogDay   notes   how   their   voices   sound   similar   if   he   hears   the   VHS,   but   only   to   himself   and   it   feels   like   a   slug   to   the   gut.   He   struggles   a   lot   with   the   questions   he   has   for   himself   after   that   --   if   this   is   what   he   always   was,   or   if   he   was   that   man   --   that   monster   --   who   did   all   of   these   terrible,   cruel   things   to   people.   Only   to   be   fed   to   the   very   machine   he   made.

Needless   to   say,   it   messes   with   his   head   a   bit.   DogDay   has   no   memory   or   remaining   pieces   of   Dr.   Sawyers   life   if   he   was   him   . . .   but   does   that   mean   anything   when   no   one   else   can   seem   to   remember   either?   And   if   he   was   him,   does   that   mean   he   deserved   all   he   suffered?   Perhaps   he   was   never   even   good   at   all,   just   a   broken   toy   masquerading   as   a   good   dog.

The   internal   conflict   is   a   bit   inspired   by   Nick   Valentine,   and   that   goodness   he   wants   to   do   is   something   he   calls   his.   No   matter   who's   mind   and   matter   is   in   his   stitched   up   body,   that   good   he   did   is   something   that   cannot   be   taken   away   from   him   and   he   finds   solace   in   that.

In   the   end,   as   it   stands   at   least,   there's   true   explanation.   No   outright   confirmation   of   it,   and   therefore   all   he   can   do   is   wonder.   Wonder   if   these   thoughts   are   his   or   not.   Strung   between   the   extremes   of   a   mad   scientists   brain   and   a   company   that   doesn't   care,   he   grapples   with   what   it   means   to   be   anything   at   all.

But   if   he   had   to   choose,   he   would   like   to   be   kind.

Dr.   Sawyer   always   remains   as   a   shadow   in   his   mind   though   --   not   as   a   real   entity   or   even   a   spirit,   but   as   someone   --   something   ---   he's   haunted   by.   A collection of best guess ideas of who he may have been. Something   he   can't   quite   escape   and   can't   quite   put   to   rest,   always   wondering   if   some   cruelty   he   did   unintentionally   is   some   subconscious   version   of   him   unrelenting   and   persisting   after   the   transformation.

He   will   never   know   what   Doctor   Sawyer   looks   like,   but   flickering   images   of   what   he   could   have   looked   like   stay   stuck   in   his   mind.   So   too   does   that   voice,   the   voice   that   never   fit   the   cardboard   cutouts   and   promo   material,   the   voice   he   speaks   with.

The   voice   that   played   on   that   VHS   tape.

Personally,   I'd   like   to   leave   it   more   as   a   what-if   possibility   on   this   blog   as   I   feel   its   more   impactful   if   he   can   never   know.   Having   to   make   peace   with   not   knowing   and   carrying   on   anyways,   growing   beyond   the   shadow   of   that   past   --   of   who   and   what   he   endured   before.

With   choosing   everyday   to   wake   up   and   define   himself,   to   define   what   it   means   to   be   DogDay   through   his   actions.   Regardless   of   the   rest   of   it.

Because   sometimes   it's   not   about   knowing   everything,   sometimes   it's   about   making   your   peace   and   letting   it   go   and   moving   beyond   it   --   growing   beyond   it.

[eshithepetty]

EXCELLENT CHOICE to actually show ???%'s expressions a little instead of them just being a black void with white, blank eyes. Especially since we don't get their internal narration like we do in the manga. Gives a nod to the fact that this is a person, not just an unthinking entity,,, i love it

[ID: two screenshots of Unknown Percentage from season 3, episode 10 of Mob Psycho 100, where they're first shown to be glaring, teeth gritted, then raising their head, eyes widening in what looks like surprise. End ID.]

Also, anyone else get the sense that here, ???% was leaning in to Teru to check if..... well, maybe not if he's okay, but if he's alive at least? Whether or not that means they care for Teru's well being, I'm not sure, but I find it interesting. In the least, it does show that they are aware that they are hurting people, and not just doing it indiscriminately, so that's something.

[ID: a screenshot of Unknown Percentage eerily leaning over Teru, who is prone. End ID.]

In light of that, it's also interesting to consider exactly what ???% kept attacking Teru for then. This part is gonna get a bit long, though (as ???% is my childe and I have many a dozen thoughts about them), so I'm putting it under readmore.

(Also, there are gonna be manga spoilers on account of me getting way too deep into it, so beware !!)

[ID: a screenshot of Unknown Percentage, facing away from the viewer, looking up at the sky where Teru's bag is exploding where it floats. All the following images are screenshots as well. End ID.]

1 ) First thing first, ???% immediately destroys Teru's bag. I don't think there's much to this one, but you could consider this a sign of hypervigilance - they saw Teru drop something, and immediately went to destroy it, perhaps in fear that it was aimed for them. So it quickly becomes obvious, that ???% is quite distrustful.

[ID: In the first, Teru is in side profile, looking to an off screen Unknown Percent, saying, "I'm not sure what happened," and in the next image, he is facing front, his face still relaxed, but now illuminated by the white light of Unknown Percentage's powers, saying "but if I'd suffice, I'd be happy to lis-" then cutting off. End ID.]

2 ) Next, Teru says this, and ???% immediately gets angry... I think. The first part, the implication from Teru that 'something must have happened for you to act this way' is what annoys ???% more. Because to them, they're just finally acting as they've always wanted to.. This isn't a bad thing to them. And they're frustrated that Teru, this person that acted much like them not even that long ago, is looking to talk them out of it.

[ID: In the first, we see Mob's bouquet of flowers, Teru off screen saying "Oh, you bought flowers! That's great!". In the next, he's smiling as he says, "But it might be a little dangerous going as you are right now.". In the third, he is illuminated by that same light, only brighter, his hair sweeping back, his expression turning panicked. End ID.]

3 ) Now this one... manga readers will know, ???% wanted to see Tsubomi as much as Mob. And so Teru denying them that chance here... well, suffice it to say, they feel a bit rejected here. Reigen told Mob in the previous episode to show his 'true self'. And in ???%'s eyes, they are the true self. To let Mob simply continue on, lie to Tsubomi as they see it, and keep pretending ???% wasn't a part of him, as if they weren't the whole reason he was even still alive right now... ???% probably would find that unbearable.

[ID: In the first, Teru is frowning and sweating, saying, "You leave me no choice." In the next, the background behind him has turned an ominous purple, his expression intense, Unknown Percent's shoulder seen in the corner as Teru restrains them with his telekinetically powered scarf, and says "I'm gonna have to keep you restrained until your powers calm-". And in third, we see his vacant face, flying through the clouded sky, his noise slightly bleeding. End ID.]

4 ) Once again, Teru is denying ???% being a part of Mob, being Kageyama-kun, instead labeling them as just Mob's 'power'. Fitting for Teru, who just in this episode said, "[Kageyama-kun taught me], how important it is to accept yourself without any psychic powers." For Teru, accepting himself without his powers was essential, since he hinged his everything on them to an unhealthy degree. But to Shigeo, the opposite is true. And ???% has had enough of being restrained.

[ID: In the first, it's closed up on Teru's trembling hand, which he is clutching with the other, saying "Kageyama-kun...." The second image is a closeup of Teru's eye, slightly serious, as he says "Stop this. You should head home for the day." And third is a similarly composed closeup of Unknown Percent's eye, glowing a bright white against his shadowed skin, as Teru continues off screen, "It's for your own good." End ID.]

5 ) The same as in the third point, except this time, there's the added salt of Teru saying "It's for your own good", as if he even knows the slightest thing about ???%, and, by extension, about Shigeo (as ???% sees it). Logically, we know that it truly doesn't do Shigeo any good to let ???% just keep rampaging like this. But ???% doesn't. Feelings are often irrational. And in this case, ???% just feels scorned.

[ID: In first, it is closed up on Unknown Percent, them turning back to the flowers flying behind them, their mouth slightly open in alarm. Teru in the background is staring wide-eyed, aura glowing. In second, Teru is looking more serious, saying, "If I destroy those...". In third, it is focused on the flowers, Unknown Percent and Teru in the background, as the bouquet gets enveloped in Teru's powers, seemingly exploding. In fourth, it is closed up on Teru's gritted teeth, as Unknown Percent grips their hand around his throat, choking him. End ID.]

6 ) Once again, same as third point... ???% is very determined to do this one thing 'right'. The fact that Teru almost took that chance entirely away from them probably scares them. And, of course... there's the obvious parallels with the choking.... this follows Teru's little inner monologue about how Mob has changed him. So even though I am still undecided on whether this was an intentional act of revenge on ???%'s part or not, the narrative meaning of this is pretty clear... they are, as Mob said all that time ago, the same, in that Mob needs to deal with his feelings involving his powers just as Teru did.

[ID: In first, Teru is noticeably beat up, expression worn and concerned, as he asks, "Kageyama-kun, are you having some kind of episode?". In second and third, it pans the back of Teru's head across the screen to reveal more of Unknown Percentage, a he says "To think you, of all people, would go berserk and lose control of your powers...". In fourth, the background has turned to a splash of warm yellow, as Teru disjointedly smiles, points a finger at them and proclaims "I guess you're pretty average, too! I'm a bit relieved, honestly.". The fifth is a closeup of Unknown percent's eye, staring angrily. And the next, the lines shadowing them get more intense, and Teru in the background lets out a "No..." End ID.]

7 ) Whoooowgh,,, this part..... it's hard to hear, but ???% gasps a little after Teru calls them average. I think... this runs deeper than Shigeo's relationship to Teru and their collective view on a person's worth. I think, this traces way back to Reigen. When he told Mob, right after he hurt a loved one with strength beyond any 'normal' person all by accident, that he's 'just like everyone else'. That he's average. I think... this talk. Was instrumental to the born divide between Mob and ???%, just as the actual violent act was. Because how do you reconcile the fact that you're apparently just some normal, average, harmless little kid, with the fact that you can also kill people without even trying? While not even aware?

Reigen does say, after all, upon seeing this. Upon actually witnessing ???%, Mob's power in it's entirety, that he didn't know about this. He didn't know. He had no idea, and he was just speaking out of his ass about things he didn't understand... so while that advice did help Mob immensely in a lot of ways, people aren't wrong about that... I think. A lot of people are also missing that this advice Reigen gives isn't the full picture. That it is, just like everything about the conman, flawed. Just as Reigen influenced Mob positively, he was also one of the negative influences in his life, that led to this point. To Mob splitting himself in halves, and paying the price.

Everything and everyone, after all, has two sides to them.

[ID: First is a closeup of Teru's eyes, the background being a stark white, everything illuminated in a haunting red glow. His expression is horrified, he is bleeding from his nose, and someone in the background is yelling "Help!". In the second and third, Unknown Percentage turns to Teru wordlessly, as the people around them continue to shout "Look out!" and "Save me!". End ID.]

8 ) And you can see it here. The way ???% is staring at Teru, almost asking him, "Do you see it? What I am actually capable of? Is this really 'the average' you speak of?" because I have the feeling, Shigeo is tired of people brushing past his very real concerns of being more than capable of hurting people, to a disastrous extent. To deny he is different in any way, is to deny his capabilities are different, and that what he needs is different as well. He cannot go on living just as any other human without powers, or as any other esper even. Because although he is equal to everyone else on a human level, he is not the same as everyone. This desire to fit in, to not stand out, to not acknowledge his unique fears and desires and feelings, is the entire reason 'Mob' as a persona got constructed. And ???% is finally finding the chance to unravel all of it.

[ID: two shots framed from low perspective, the background being a cloudy, gray sky, as Unknown Percentage first looks down at an off screen unconscious Teru, then turns their back, beginning to walk away. End ID.]

It is meaningful, then, that after this, ???% just lets the people Teru saved float, and leaves the boy to lay on the ground, to continue on. It wasn't really their intention to hurt people just to hurt. They certainly don't care that much about their pain right now, either, but. It was for a point. It was all just to prove a point, to Teru, to the world. That they're not something to be stifled. That their desires deserve to be heard, too. And, more than anything... I think it was a way to get back at Mob, at this person that has shunned them all this time, and say - you think you're the only one who deserves to be happy? You think you can be happy, with me continuing to writhe underneath the surface, unacknowledged, like this? How long are you going to go on? How long, until I'm able to exist freely again? And how long, until you realize, that what happened 4 years ago, wasn't a fluke?

Because they're not the one who hurt Ritsu. It wasn't some otherworldy entity, this power that is inhuman and uncontrollable and unreachable. It was Shigeo. Shigeo, who is comprised of Mob, in all his desire for self control, and ???%, in all his desire for freedom. And only through them meeting together, can they fulfill both, and learn to not repeat those same mistakes.

Because Shigeo is human. And Shigeo is the protagonist of his own life. For better, for worse <3

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results -- Hreksong

Slightly awkward timing on this one: the animal in question happened to come up on a recent episode of our podcast (We literally quoted a line from the Bodley MS 764 entry, because it was relevant to the story we were reading). So any of the artists who listen may have gotten spoilers. (I say "may", but I've already seen one art post that references the episode.) Sorry about that, artists. Kind of a bizarre coincidence, actually -- it's pretty rare that we happen across bestiary material in a narrative text, and the fact that we did so shortly before the relevant entry came up in the rotation... well, the odds are against it.

Anyway, anyone who doesn't know what this is about should check out https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. You can also check the "maniculum bestiaryposting" tag to see what beast is the current prompt. The entry for this week's drawings can be found here:

Art below the cut, roughly chronological, as always.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) decided that the best interpretation of the information given was that this was a sort of arboreal mongoose that practiced mouthbrooding. If you want to know what the reasoning was there, you should read the linked post -- it all makes sense there. I absolutely love that the one in the picture is opening its mouth to show the baby riding inside. Silverhart indicates that this is a quicker sketch than usual, but frankly their animal-drawing skills are so good that even a quick sketch is impressive from my perspective.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) did separate drawings for the large outdoor version (upper image, carrying its young) and the small indoor version (lower image, stealing someone's food). The linked post, which explains the design in some detail, indicates that CheapSweets was thinking along similar lines as Silverhart -- i.e., what kind of animal is known for hunting snakes? I like the pose in the first image, and I really like the scene depicted in the second one. On one hand, I'm sure having little creatures live in your roof and steal food literally out of your hands is quite frustrating, but on the other hand, it's very funny. Look at that little guy just brazenly stealing some chicken (or whatever type of bird). The idea of them using their back legs to grip rafters for exactly this purpose is excellent.

@strixcattus (link to post here) decided these could be birds, and has drawn these owl-like creatures for us. They look a bit surly, but that could just be the feather pattern on their faces. As always, I strongly recommend checking out that linked post, as Strixcattus writes brilliant interpretations of these entries in the register of a modern naturalist to accompany the illustrations.

@pomrania (link to post here) has noted that cats live in houses and eat mice, and given us this charming domestic scene. They also note the issues with this interpretation in the linked post, which of course you should read. I think the poses of the cats are very well done here; one of those kittens looks like it wants to paw at the monk's belt but can very much not reach.

And now for the Aberdeen Bestiary:

I'm not sure about the head proportions -- I'd suggest that the flattened snout is because the artist ran out of space, if it weren't for the fact that they were fine letting the back foot extend into the border -- but that is recognizably a weasel.

A few things to note from this:

1. Medieval people apparently had not only mice in their homes, but weasels, which I'd never really thought about. I'm not sure what the distinction they're drawing between the type you find in your home and the type you find in the woods is about, though.

2. The weasel's healing magic crops up in multiple texts, including the Lais of Marie de France and Volsungasaga. It's less common than you might think to find overlap between bestiary-weirdness and narrative-weirdness, so that's pretty notable.

3. I have no friggin' idea why anyone thought they gave birth through their ears. Baffling.

[lycanr0t]

if you'd like to share your thoughts on gay trans man marcille i'd love to read them and/or see your art of him! (no pressure of course!)

oh man will I share my thoughts dfjkh I was maybe going to eventually make a post to ramble about it but this gives me the perfect excuse to now :J

This ranting WILL have spoilers for anime only fans/ppl who haven't finished the manga!

Marcille is interesting to read as a gay trans man though. Because how I see it, during the events of the manga he would not know he's trans! Or at most, he would maybe have some Gender Feelings but he wouldn't really understand it yet.

To me, Marcille is the type who would at first do everything in his power to deny it/convince himself he isn't trans. I think he would have a fair bit of internalized transphobia just as a result of his fairly rigid way of going about things. He has specific standards for himself especially but also for others.

This is where my gay trans man headcanon for Falin comes in lol.

Not for romance reasons specifically, but because I think the way Marcille treats Falin when looked at through the lens of Marcille being a trans egg is especially interesting.

For my Falin headcanon, I see Falin as a gay trans man as well, but I think that he wouldn't be out to Marcille until after the events of the manga. This is very integral to how I view Marcille's gender discovery happening.

I think that during the time they're in school together, Marcille would have feelings for Falin that are confusing. In Marcille's mind they're both girls, so he must just be a girl into girls, right? Meanwhile Falin performs girl wrong and this challenges Marcille's worldview. Marcille cares for Falin, and this manifests as Marcille trying to 'help' Falin perform girl better. Basically, Marcille doubling down on his currently held beliefs of what gender is and how it functions instead of considering that it may not be that simple, and he and/or Falin may not be a girl. Falin I think would not bring up being trans for a few reasons but primarily that boy is just not big on conflict with people especially those he cares for.

But anyways. A perfect example of Marcille forcing his idea of correct gender performance being in a daydream hour page where Falin is drawn with short hair, and Marcille is visibly pretty upset by it. (I don't have the translated image but here it is)

I know that it seems like a small thing that doesn't hold much weight, and it's not technically canon but trans mens hair is often something that people feel that they need to control. A girl cutting her hair short is seen as this horrible, unacceptable thing. Now again, obviously Falin doesn't canonically cut his hair short, but the fact that Marcille would be upset and specifically wants it long again informs us about his view of these things. I think that hair being useful for magic would end up being a justification for both being upset by the concept of Falin with short hair, and a justification to himself on why he is not allowed to experiment with shorter hair. It's more practical for his line of work/study, so it's a perfect excuse to just never think about if he TRULY loves it long or if he is just doubling down on performing what's expected of him.

Marcille is a KING of appearing way more uptight than he is. He's very by the books, very strict seeming about doing magic right, but he also specifically primarily has interest in the most taboo magic. He's the loudest about complaining about eating monsters, but he's also the first one to outright say that if they have to eat demihumans then so be it. Marcille is full of contradicting feelings and actions and I think he's prone to trying to fit into what people expect but his heart isn't fully in it so he still ends up doing the unexpected as well.

Even after the manga, Marcille has lost his desire to take care of his hair but he honestly doesn't seem... that upset by it? He is upset, sure, but for something that appeared to be a pretty big thing for him he accepts it shockingly smoothly. Almost as if perhaps, it's a relief to have an excuse to try something different. To try shorter hair maybe? Because now he has an excuse other than doing gender 'wrong'. It would feel safer to explore.

Aand I have a TON of other thoughts but this is getting pretty long and I'm losing track of my thoughts SO I'm going to drop a small list of some other random half formed thoughts I think about in relation to Marcille being a gay trans man

marcille being half elf half tallman and the parallel between that and being trans and how when you're trans you're alienated and isolated. in society's eyes youre not fully a man, not fully a woman, you're both and neither and othered in a complicated way

everyone assuming marcilles wish is to become 'full elf' also is interesting to compare to the experience of people viewing being trans as 'wishing you were X gender' in a very binary way

marcille asking if his dad is pregnant in a flashback just feels like something a trans egg kid would say

marcilles overall attachment to his father tbh.

marcille being super into romance novels and specifically his succubus presenting as a pretty boy from his novels. Obviously this can be read romantic or whatever but I know personally a lot of characters I was obsessed with as a child that I thought was romantic attraction turned out to be a combination of attraction and wanting their gender expression. I think it's interesting to read into marcille's interest in romance novels as him finding a 'safe' way to explore his attraction to men and desire to be a man without actually acknowledging that directly. (a lot of irl gay trans men do similar before they realize theyre gay trans men!)

Aaand that's my thoughts for now lmao. Here's some pen doodles I did while figuring out how I wanted to draw post-canon marcille :> Still working on figuring him out but I like how these look! I like the idea of him having some facial hair (not very long as elves seem to not be able to grow much body hair) and probably cutting his hair so it's more shoulder length and a bit easier to manage!

[raifuujin]

M27 Spoilers

Okay, so. My thoughts.

First off, the cousins thing. I'll be honest, I fully thought the movie was going to go with a common ancestor route instead of the more direct dad's being brothers. Obviously that didn't turn out, but considering they also brought in Okita and his face, it would have made a lot more sense to just go further back and also leave explanation for the other same-face Gosho boys that are scattered around. But I guess that wouldn't have been dramatic enough, so oh well.

I'd still probably ship KaiShin. The cousins thing really doesn't bother me when they don't even know (because nobody in this series talks about any family until it has maximum audience whammy). I see some people who are lamenting, because it makes things uncomfortable for them, and that's fair. I don't see it quite as bad as like. Leia and Luke from Star Wars, or the more personal Layton and Descole from PL, both pairs being direct siblings instead of first cousins, but plenty of people still probably view it as too close. Also, if anyone is familiar with the hiimdaisy Ace Attorney comic with Apollo and Trucy and Phoenix is supposed to tell them they're related and Does Not time it well. -finger guns- It would make a great parody comic idea for this KaiShin situation. (I might do it myself if no one else does, but would Not be soon.)

Other people bring up that Gosho mentioned much, much earlier that there was a reason Kaito and Shinichi look alike. Which I did remember, but the thing about that is. That I don't trust Gosho in the slightest. Like, did he actually plan out Yuusaku and Toichi's separated twins backstory at that time, or did he have a general idea that he'd be making them familial related somewhere in their tree? Some people truly thought Kaito and Shinichi could be the brothers, with the Kuroba's adopting for some various fandom-created reasons. Or other, far more dramatic direct relation. Could Gosho's comment have just been him making a joke that the 'reason' was him thinking about them having the same inspiration? How serious was he meant to be taken 20 years ago?

Many people saying 'of course they're related, they look exactly alike':

1) Sameface syndrome with characters goes well beyond Kaito and Shinichi. There were so many protoypes of characters, or just matching looks to character types, of course not everyone is gonna hop on the 'well duh, they must be related' train. It's nice to feel vindication for headcanoning them as family, but don't make it sound like people are stupid for being upset. There's very little to tell what's lampshading and teasing vs 'no, really, they're gonna be related to each other'.

2) The common ancestor explanation would have worked perfectly fine, and honestly, the fact that Toichi and Yuusaku are twin brothers separated through divorce who happen to both have stayed in the Tokyo area (mostly) while both being internationally famous and maintaining contact with each other and sending gifts even when one of them is publicly dead. Sounds goddamn stupid. (The brothers idea would probably have been fine and plausible, it was all that Extra that pushed it into 'okay just stop, this sounds like a load of contrived bullshit'. How did no one during the 'reveal' of that go 'um, I know this is how you want this connection to go, but can we make it sound more plausible/real?')

Because, Gosho clearly didn't plan on them being related all along. That's probably what actually bothers be about the contrived connection (since the real impact to KaiShin is relatively small). It's very obvious that he just drew his male protags for quite a few stories looking very similar. (Usually in his image, to an extent, though that's usually just mentioned for Kaito, specifically.) It was also clear that when he had Kid make a surprise appearance in DC, there really wasn't supposed to be a connection. Did he come up with it on his own? Only after people asked about it? Did he go 'you know, I might could connect the two for fun'? I don't know. I don't trust a man who created Sera's concept based on a cool female detective and wrapped her up with Akai and made the whole stupid family thing, and who changed Amuro's planned role as a bad guy on a whim because he was too cool to be bad, to have actually planned out this family connection all along.

And even with all that, there's also the issue of revealing this information in a movie. People have had arguments about movie canonicity for years, and yet this all gets mentioned for cinema shock value. I don't mind the using extra characters, or making things more action packed than the manga would allow, or even stupid things like Kidnichi 200 times. But this? This is asking for chaos. It feels like a big clusterfuck of yes, no, maybe, for how important this is going to be going forward, because we don't even know if Gosho means to make use of this info for the mangas at all, or if it's going to remain background information from a movie that may or may not even be relevant to know. Except as a wink to the audience and a middle finger to shippers, I guess.

(There are pluses to this, which is general thinking about the implications of this family dynamic and how chaotic things could actually get or how things got to be how they are already. I'd like to know what exactly Yuusaku knows about his brother's status and if his 'friend from interpol' could be used to connect to Toichi's whole. Legally died but is still alive and being an a-hole to his son by letting him go into the profession that was trying to kill him.) ((Yes, we're still gonna murder Toi, especially since his amnesia out is clearly off the table. We don't know enough about what Yuusaku knows, but I can't even say he's on thin ice because the chances of him knowing a lot about Kaito's situation is too damn high to let him off the hook.))

...Anyway, that's obviously the main drama, but side note that I'm also mad because movie being canon or not aside (I adopt movies as canon, especially newer ones, but people can also ignore them without loosing manga compliance really), the issue I have is the further blurring of MK and DC connection. At this point, it literally is just Akako being the crux of the 'are they the same universe or aren't they' argument, and it's literally never gonna get answered because Gosho refuses to even let her show up in DC for anything. You truly can argue either way when she's just not shown. And even though it won't happen, it's to a point where they feel so obviously the same universe that I hope Gosho just let's Akako do a cameo at the end of DC just to mess with people. But regardless, making MK only characters directly related to DC characters is. Maddening for that whole argument. (Sure, Toichi has appeared in DC before, however, the movie goes out of the way to add that extra 'fuck you' to the audience by revealing not just Toichi being alive and texting Yuusaku casually, but the reveal is in his fucking. Corbeau outfit. Which. Corbeau is 1000% MK only knowledge, so there's not getting around that no one would know that character unless they've read MK.)

And last note, the one other spoiler I've seen mentioned is the failed Heizuha confession and just. The reasons for failing get dumber and dumber and just add to the mess of spoilers coming from this movie. Oh no, Iori, the former government agent dude working for the rich girl love rival for Heiji's affection, dropped a flashbomb at the exact time Heiji confessed, so Kazuha never heard it. I don't think the spoilers I saw ever clarified if he was doing something and it was coincidence, or if it was intentional, but. God the fails being turned into elaborate jokes is getting. Ridiculous. I don't even care if they get together in canon, I'm not super invested in the ship, but I feel like even if I did want them to get together, there's. Literally zero hope for any build ups at this point. You can't keep leading up to it and pulling it away, people are gonna stop caring. At this point, half the people invested are just going to give an exasperated 'finally' when it happens, instead of actually being excited at this point, it's just tiring.

I hope the rest of the movie is at least entertaining. Fun action packed eye-candy fluff to help numb the stupid 'important' scenes. Spoilers might feel ick, but it's in a vacuum of reading words about scenes on their own. (Which probably won't change the Yuusaku scene at all, but Heiji's confession is. Probably an 'okay, here we go, what happens this time' thing that's better if you're already just there for entertainment.)

Edit: Someone has now basically confirmed with their own watch that the movie is fun, and the bombshell of lore is at the very end.

[fleetingcalypso]

Hello! I just stumbled across your blog, and find the way you write and portray Henry in your stories absolutely captivating. I just finished reading the book for the first time ever today and managed to do so without seeing any spoilers beforehand, so safe to say that Henry's suicide blindsided me completely. In hindsight it made complete sense, but I'm still in denial about it and would love a story about him actually surviving his wounds. Henry gives me the vibe of hiding everything that was happening from anyone but those in the Greek class alongside him, which, in my opinion, would even extend to his partner as well. I think it would be really interesting if his partner comes to visit him in the hospital after he's just woken up (ignoring the logical fact that he'd probably be heavily brain damaged) and is just absolutely devastated because she/they thought he was genuinely taking his life because he was depressed. To me, even then I don't see Henry fessing up to what's actually been happening, and I think it'd be cool to see the way he would try and talk his way out of it. (Henry seems pretty closed off emotionally, but I'd love some genuine hurt/comfort, only if this idea intrigues you of course.) thank you! (:

≋ The dread of losing a loved one, the knowledge that someone's time could have come faster than expected, the paranoid of could have happened had help on arrived on time, the fear of the future holds. These feelings are not foreign to me. At any rate, everyone sails away from Ogygia one day or another, I am accustomed to it. For anyone else, I want to emphasize that themes of this narration are quite heavy, if need be please don't be afraid to reach out to me for help or simple communication. You're not alone and you are deeply loved. Going back to Henry, I am of the opinion he'd try to manipulate his way out of a truly meaningful conversation. He's quite the orator, after all.

≋ Henry Winter x GN!Reader ≋

≋ Word Count: 2190 words.

≋ TW: Attempted s*icide, angst, manipulation, reader feels an exorbitant amount of guilt, somewhat hurt/comfort.

≋ CW: As the themes are quite heavy and Henry is a pragmatic, stoic character, I feel like there could not be much comfort in a scenario like this. He'd be too busy trying to find another way to get out of the mess he's in, to take the time to comfort his loved one. I beg your forgiveness for not including most of the genuine comfort you were searching for, but if you were to enjoy this nonetheless, I'd be thrilled.

On my way to Henry’s hospital room, sprinting through the haunting sterile hallways I ran into Camilla Macaulay, a girl -the only one- in his class, she was just here to bring him some flowers she’d tell me before her body began trembling trying to hold back sobs and I was left to watch her scurry away, I could not get a word in to ask her anything at all, if he was awake, if he was alright, why he did it, why they all waited days before telling me he had tried to end his life. The intensity of the drum beating in my chest could barely compare against the headache I brought upon myself, drowning in my own salty tears. 

I nearly went into cardiac arrest when I spotted him, the only thing reassuring me that he still had a pulse was the rhythmic movement of his chest, rising with each breath he took accompanied by the beeping of a heart monitor I can’t bring myself to glimpse at. “I can feel you staring.” He said, his croaky voice already tugging at my heartstring. I can’t look away even if I wanted to: it’s a sight I never thought I’d see, as abominable as it is I fear that if I avert my gaze then the puzzle pieces might never fall into place and I might never know the motive of his extreme action. 

Does he hate me? I can’t help but wonder if during what could have been his last breaths he thought of me, if maybe he wished I was there to stop him and remind him of how loved he is. The image of him searching for my body next to his as he collapses lifeless makes me shudder. I come to the conclusion that I failed in everything when it comes to Henry. Not being able to read between the lines, I barely scratched the surface of him while I thought I was in deep waters. 

He was content in life, I think. Yes, in one moment where exhaustion took ahold of him and he was more asleep than awake, in the comforting hiding place under my blankets he confessed to me that he had a lot on his mind. I never could have imagined it would lead to this: two gunshots to the temple, according to what Richard -another one of his classmates- told me over the phone, the second being triggered by the gun’s recoil.

I wasn’t there, I thought at that moment, Henry had taken a gun to his head and I wasn’t there. Henry had tried to kill himself and I wasn’t there. He could have been lying in a pool of his hot blood, flowing out on the ground and expanding like a stain on a white shirt, and I wasn’t there to hold him in his possible final moments. He could have died and I would have found out thanks to a desolate phone call from a stuttering man I didn’t know that well, or maybe even from a serious police officer just doing his job. Nonetheless, Henry’s finger had pressed the trigger in front of a handful of people and I wasn’t anywhere near him.

Cement bricks become chained to my ankles, getting heavier and heavier with each hesitant step I take towards him. I would have flown to him if I could have, crashed at the side of his bed, thrown my arms around his neck in ecstatic joy for his survival, kissed him a thousand times for each second I spent unaware of his whereabouts or his feelings.

“How do you feel?” I foolishly ask, being rewarded with his eyes cracking open and settling on my figure which I know will look indistinct and blurry to him given the absence of his glasses on the bridge of his nose, “Dead,” he answers me. To think the fierce storm he held in his irises was something that could very well have been a sight no one in the world could have appreciated in full. 

The mattress shifted and dipped under my weight when I sat at the edge of his bed, the chair at his side remaining empty. I wanted to feel him, touch him, try to be as close as possible and a sad little chair putting even the smallest of distances between us was the last thing I desired. Reaching towards the night table I found his glasses with ease, the only other things sitting on the surface were a pack of unopened Lucky Strike cigarettes, his wallet and the fragrant bouquet of flowers his friend had brought. I cleaned the lenses with a handkerchief and then tried my best to not look at the seemingly infinite bandages wrapping his head as I set the glasses on his face.

He blinks once, twice, thrice before he finally sees me as I am, without a hazy cloud over my face.

“Well, you’re not,” I inform him, swallowing the ‘what-if’ stuck in the middle of my throat, “By a miracle, I heard a nurse say. A miracle saved you Henry, do you hear how lucky that sounds?”

“I hear you.” He exhales, a sinkhole forms in me when I catch that small tone of disappointment hidden layer after layer under his voice, “Lucky indeed.” It’s dreadful how he keeps his gaze low, set in my direction but never quite reaching my eyes. It’s even more embarrassing to admit I do not understand him, I haven’t been able to do so since the very beginning.

That is to say, me not understanding him, does not mean I do not love him. He’d been the best lover a human being could ever ask for, there were no fights, no arguments, no disagreements, just pure unapologetic passion. Only once did we not see eye to eye and even then it was soon enough resolved over a glass of whiskey and a couple cigarettes: when he travelled to Rome with his friend Bunny without so much as a “I’ll be back soon,”  leaving me worried to no end as to where he might be.

“Talk to me, Henry. What happened?” I knew what happened of course, he’d shot himself in the head, but what I craved wasn’t a rundown of events, a bullet point list of the movements he made to get two bullets in his cranium. No. I desperately needed some way to understand what led him to attempting to do such a drastic thing. Were there signs I missed? Was I not loving enough? What hurt him so much? Was he truly that miserable in life, and if so, how had he hid it so well?

“Don’t cry,” he said, lifting the one arm that did not have the tube connecting him to the IV drip, his finger made contact with the corner of my eye and only then did I realise the salty diamonds rolling down my cheeks. I did not want to cry in front of him, not if it would add onto his miseries. As if I was kneeling in a confessional I have to come clean, I did not think I had any more tears left in me after having cried myself to sleep the night prior. Guilty of not appreciating the beauty of Selene as she brightened the darkened world, guilty of living only for the hospital doors to open and seeing him again.

“I have to ask, you know I have to.” Now that I was aware of the tears, nothing could have stopped the stinging feeling that seemed to spread from my eyes to every inch of my being, “Why did you do it?” There was no sugarcoating it, he’s never been one to beat around the bush and he often would not appreciate me going around in circles trying to find the nicest way to say or ask something. 

His jaw clenched and I watched hopelessly as Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. His lips parted but no sound that made proper sense came out. In my head I had already formed some hypotheses, none of them struck me as much as what he said. “I had to.” He apathetically said and I vaguely registered the sharp pain in my palm as my nails digging into my skin to stop my body from doubling-over and breaking into a gut wrenching sob.

“I-” Never has my mind been blank like this moment, it made so much sense and none at the same time,“I- Just- Why? Give me a reason- a concrete reason, Henry.” I all but begged him, sniffling like a whimpering child. That was exactly how I felt, like a child: small, lost and with no way to do something that could actually make a difference. 

Through my glossy vision I observed as he stiffened in pain while he shifted in his bed trying to sit up, the bedsheets moving along with his every movement made me nauseous. They weren’t supposed to be hospital ones, he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place, this should have never happened. Alas, it has happened and he is not sitting in the armchair he claimed as his own in my apartment, reading a book and letting the cloud of smoke from his cigarette expand until my entire house looks like a misty field.

Ignored and useless was my attempt to stop him, to get him to lay down and not do anything straining, “Come here,” Instead he requested, hinting towards the spot he’d left on the bed, right next to him. Sheepishly I shuffled to his side, my back against the bed’s headboard, hoping and praying that no nurses would spot us and ask me to move away. His arm found its way around my shoulders, pulling me into a protective side hug and I shattered in small, countless, infinite pieces: a pathetic catharsis. Broken sobs, gasps and hiccups filled the room yet i could hear him over the sound of my desperation, “Don’t cry,” he’d say softly in my ear, “There’s no need to cry,” he’d insist kissing my temple, “Everything is going to be fine.” He’d promise me solemnly, with his enchanting way of making me feel like his words were gospel.

My heaving breaths did everything they could to send oxygen into my lungs, but air was not what I needed. Henry was my air, and the idea that I could have lost him for eternity plagued me, it made me look over my shoulder each moment expecting to see the grim reaper. The panic I felt gave me the strength to cling onto my lover as if he was my only lifeline, as if my love filled embrace could be the only thing able to bind him to the mortal realm. I know that could never be, sadly. Love, as much as it is a primordial force in the world, rivalling hate and rage, oftentimes can’t be the holy saviour we need.

“Why?” I found myself once again begging, I could not accept his previous answer, I pitifully needed something concrete, something I could fix. Before I could break into sobs again he leaned even closer, his lips moving against my hairline, his voice barely audible - like he was telling me a secret- only for me to hear, “I have been through some dark moments of my life, ones that I have never mentioned to you, not because I do not love you, the very opposite of it. I love you, my love for you is as incandescent as the sun, you know it, certainly. I did not want you to be concerned with those parts of me, hidden pieces that I rarely even let myself recognize as part of myself. Your pure hands should never be dirtied with the corruption that runs free inside of me. Cease your tears now, it is okay.” 

“So instead of letting me help you, you decided to just shoot yourself?!” It might have been harsh, but I felt at an impasse, raising my voice was my undignified way of getting ahold of control over life, “Are you listening to yourself? What about me? What would I have done without you? I’d do anything for you, isn’t it obvious?! I don’t care what you’re hiding, I don’t care how corrupt you think you are, I love you and I want to assist you through the darkest times of your life.”

He seemed to think about it, perhaps my words had made an impact on him or perhaps he was just tired of arguing with me. When he kissed me, slow and delicate, that was enough for me to postpone the debate I was already preparing in my head. I'd talk his ear off about letting me be a hand in easing his burdens when he would be well enough to be discharged and go home. “I want you to live forever,” Henry all but implored me and I just nodded. Whatever in the world could I say other than yes, but on one condition: he was to live alongside me.

[magicjesuscup]

BG3 Emperor/Tav theory

Spoilers for Act 3? That's when the emperor propositioned my Tav at least.

I found an article talking about a plothole during the scene where the player can have sex with the emperor. The emperor says he lost concentration and your activities accidently got broadcasted to some of your companions. You see something like this (the companions are random; mine were a bit different):

Then he says, "Don't worry though; I'll erase their memories. It'll be fine." And the next morning, none of the companions say anything about it to the player, making it look like the mind erasure worked.

The article says that the emperor could've done this on purpose, list some reasons why and how non tadpoled companions like Halsin could've seen what they were up to.

I thought I'd share my own theory:

This is an illusion only Tav can see based on how they fear their companions would respond. Fears can be irrational, which is why the scene can seem a bit off.

I think an unromanced Astarion would be excited for Tav. This is the face he made when he saw a bugbear and ogre porking in a barn:

(image from a post by @exsanguinatedboar)

And Halsin, even when romanced, is all about Tav being true to their nature and being open to exploring things (which is essentially what he says if Tav has sex with Mizora).

Basically, if those three were the ones that actually saw, I think their responses would've varied instead of being pure disgust across the board. Also, only companions with tatpoles should've seen.

Anyway, I think the emperor would've done this to try to convince Tav to not talk about their activities with their companions for fear of what their responses would be. He spent a ton of time studying Tav and finding out how they think; he may not have taken the same time with the other companions. Besides that, he couldn't have known how the non-tadpoled ones would react. What if they tried to talk Tav out of this deeper connection? He could want it for a stronger alliance or for more personal reasons.

Anyway, he wouldn't have to erase anyone's minds because the others never actually saw anything.

[fandom-go-round]

Hi, bebe! I would love a thing on how each of the magic-using bg3 party members feel when they're channeling their different kinds of magic through their bodies to cast it, both physically and emotionally--i.e. druidic magic and channeling nature for Halsin, Shadowheart and her divine casting, Wyll and the power he draws from his Patron, Gale and what it's like for him to manipulate the Weave. One thing I'd love to see with Shadowheart in particular is the ways in which it feels different for her to channel divinity from different goddesses as her relationship to the divine changes. Thank you so much!

Warnings: Act 2 Spoilers, Act 3 Spoilers, Shadowheart Quest Spoilers, Gale Quest Spoilers, Halsin Quest Spoilers, Wyll Quest Spoilers, Magic Talk, Implied Self Image Issues, Relationship Issues (Gale)

Halsin:

His magic feels like a warm breeze, grass between your toes, laying in a sun patch. Casting druid magic always feels like the earth is responding, reaching out to the call. It’s one of the reasons Halsin loves being a druid so much. Nothing makes you feel connected to life than the world responding to your pull. It’s more complicated than that of course and the type of spell also means a lot. Healing magic is like warm water, rolling across wounds. It can cause people to jump in surprise if they’re used to divine healing magic which is more of a ‘sinking into the skin’ sensation.

Being in the shadow cursed lands makes everything hard. Summoning the power of the land is nearly impossible so it pulls more from the caster. Halsin focuses mostly on changing shape than complicated spells; it feels like spell slots go twice as fast. He has to admire the other druids who make it look easy. Part of his issue is that he’s distracted by Thaniel; with so much to focus on, magic is hard to come by.

Baldur’s Gate is easier and harder at the same time. It’s easy to find life in the city but only humanoid life. There are patches of plant life here and then but it’s a weak cry to the forests he’s been living in the last hundred years. Halsin finds it jarring to be around as so many people and longs for more open spaces. He takes small pleasures in warm bathes and interesting food but it can feel hollow. He’ll never say it but he enjoys breaking the cobblestones with his spells when he has to fight, letting nature push its way through. He’s not going to tear the city down but he knows that he can’t stay permanently. The sooner her can feel grass between his toes, the better.

Shadowheart:

Shar’s magic feels like a crisp breeze; it can feel jarring but also makes her feel more alert. Little the first nipping of winter on her cheeks. A pinch on the cheek from a teasing relative. The cold keeps her alert on a normal day. The magic makes her numb eventually; after a long day Shadowheart feels like she’ll never get warm again. She does find it comforting and to feel close to her Lady is something that she wants every day.

After she renounces Lady Shar, magic feels empty. It’s almost worse than the cold sinking into her bones. The feeling of going to call for a spell and simply feeling void; it would be funny if it wasn’t so cruel. There is a god that answers (she can still cast magic) but she tries not to think about it too much; she’s not ready to commit herself to another god yet. It makes it hard to be a cleric and she’s in pain on two fronts; losing her god and also her purpose.

Where Shar’s magic was cool, Selune’s is warm. The first time she feels the connection Shadowheart doesn’t finish the spell, the surge of warmth making her panic. To feel safe and warm makes her want to cry but she pushes through, healing Karlach so fast most don’t even notice her hesitation. Warm hands cupping her cheeks, a hand on her shoulder. She’s in awe that worshipping can feel this good and has to sit with that. Devoting herself feels easy when it’s like standing in the sun.

Wyll:

Wyll’s magic always has a heat to it. Even if it’s an ice spell, his fingers tingle like being held too close to the fire. It makes sense, he figures, since his powers do come from a devil. He was never someone who thought he would wield magic but the longer he has the powers, the more he enjoys it. They give him the power to protect people and what he loves. How can you not appreciate them, even when he’s on the edge of falling in deeper?

The issue is that the magic changes, over time. The first few years it’s a warm tingle and now, after seven, the flames are licking up his arms. Wyll feels tired after he casts a spell, even as he’s able to cast more spells. It feels like the magic is an inferno and could swallow him whole. It’s a blessing when he first gets the tadpole, it blocks some of the heat and makes it easier to think. It’s during this period he realizes the truth; the magic is wearing on him. Physically and mentally.

Wyll has to decide if he’s going to keep the magic or try to get out of his deal. His Infernal powers are addicting in the best and worst ways, like stretching a muscle and feeling the burn. He wants the power to save people and he does a damn good job at it. If he loses his magic, then what? Wyll knows he’ll still be a hero but if he can save more people… it’s not something that he’ll decide just yet but it weighs on his mind the entire journey.

Gale:

The Weave is something that Gale can’t live without. It’s one of the constants in his life and tapping into it is almost as easy as breathing. Sometimes it’s easier. When he was with Mystra it felt like every time he cast a spell he could smell her, feel her all around him. A comforting embrace that shielded him from the outside world. If he felt lonely with her, it was worth it to feel wonderful doing magic. To push himself deeper and deeper into study so that he could feel good again. Was it healthy? Maybe not. And that’s a hard pill to swallow, even years later. But in the moment, it felt like everything he ever wanted.

After her has the orb, magic feels like a vice. The comforting hand turns into a clenched fist and Gale has to stumble through learning to cast even minor spells. It’s like wading through mud in the dark; he’s lost and the Weave threatens to consume him entirely. The first few times he pleads with his goddess to set him free, to help ease the burden but she doesn’t reply. Eventually, he learns how to navigate these new feelings. The sensation of being swallowed turns more into water lapping at his ankles, cold and icy.

The Weave will never feel the same way again and Gale accepts that. After the crown, after the tadpole, he’s happy to be able to touch magic and not feel pain. It’s not longer a lover’s embrace anymore and he needs that, to heal. It’s still warm, still comforting but more like a pair of gloves than entangled bodies. He has a lot of feelings about Mystra but he does still respect her and he’s glad that she respects him. The Weave makes him feel whole and it’s not something he’s going to take advantage of again.

[stargazerlily7210]

I just rewatched The Day of the Doctor, and something clicked a bit more than it had before, regarding The Moment. And I honestly can't tell if this was the point all along and I just didn't make the connection because I was too caught up in the references and having Billie back on Doctor Who, or if this is just my new headcanon.

(Obvs, spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the 50th or finished Rose's episodes)

So, what do we know about The Moment?

-It's also called The Galaxy Eater

-It was invented by 'The Ancients of Gallifrey'

-The Time Lords are so scared of the thing that of all of the Forbidden Weapons locked away in the Omega Arsenal, it's the only one they've avoided deploying until now.

-The reason the Time Lords are so scared of it is because, according to legend, it was so powerful of a weapon that it developed a conscience.

-Not that it became conscious. That its AI woke up one day with strong enough moral compass to get angry at them for wanting to use it.

But I think it wasn't thanks to the Time Lords that it developed a conscience. I think it was very literally Rose as the Bad Wolf during Parting of the Ways.

Why?

Well, when we first meet said AI, it's taken the form of Rose as Bad Wolf (duh). Which gets played off as a bit of a timey-wimey joke, claiming it picked that look to appeal to The Doctor and just got the timeline wrong.

But now I'm thinking it's more than that, cause let's be real. If we're dealing with an AI smart enough to design its appearance to appeal to someone's preferences, it can make excuses for the same reason.

It doesn't know or care who Rose Tyler is. But even before it names itself Bad Wolf (which it has a VERY strong reaction to, for a weapon that has nothing to do with Earth or Humans, and wants nothing to do with the Time War or the Daleks) it still shows a propensity for Wolf imagery, telling The Doctor the noise outside was "just a wolf".

It also didn't do a copy of Rose, despite saying it chose "this face AND form" for the Doctor. Which I'd think it would have if it was truly just pulling an image from The Doctor's future memory (Billie having aged 7 yrs since we last saw her aside, because so had David and that clearly wasn't an issue to redesign his look around). Instead it wore its clothes and hair styled in a way that Rose would never have worn.

But it sure does appeal to the same aspects of The Doctor's character that Rose brought out in 'em. And laughs about The Doctor's comment that he could kiss her ("Oh, Bad Wolf Girl! I could kiss you!" "Yup! You will..") despite not knowing for sure who or when Rose Tyler was to The Doctor less than an hour ago.

So I suggest that when Rose absorbed the time vortex and was doing her 'gotta literally reshape matter and reality to protect My Doctor' thing, that included inserting her/Bad Wolf's consciousness into The Moment, way back when.

Like she did when she brought Jack back to life but had no control over how much life she shoved into him. Or how when she scattered the words Bad Wolf across spacetime as a trail of breadcrumbs, she also unknowingly named that beach in the parallel universe's Norway, Bad Wolf Bay.

"I bring life!" Sure did, and then some.

"I take the words. I scatter them across space and time." No kidding.

"The Time War Ends!" I mean, come on. Why would that be any less unintentionally accurate than the rest of her actions?

The Doctor says in Utopia that if a Time Lord had done what Rose did, they'd become a vengeful god. (Side note, when The Master finds out the Doctor had pulled the final trigger, he even says, "You must've been like God!") But he argues Rose's humanity having fueled her actions is what stopped her from succumbing to the same fate. Not that she didn't have the power of a God in that moment.

If I'm right, though. With the reality breaking power that Rose as Bad Wolf definitely had, and that The Moment is suggested to have; I think Rose literally rewrote the end of the Time War by putting her consciousness in The Moment. Fixed points don't matter when you're literally the Time Vortex channeled through a lovestruck teenage brain.

I think that until Rose went all supernova, The Doctor *had* used the Doomsday (hah) Weapon to stop the war. But as Bad Wolf, while she was seeing all realities at all times, she saw a way to "protect [him] from the False God (aka. him)" via inserting herself into said weapon.

It's not that he just didn't remember because crossing timelines. It's that he *had* done it until Rose went glowstick goddess on him.

Final bit of evidence? There's no reason for The Moment's trigger to have looked like that in the end. It doesn't even look like any other piece of Time Lord tech, that I know of.

But we already know that less than a day after Parting of the Ways, Rose will watch The 10th Doctor get really excited about a Big Red Button.

She went the extra mile and made the button shaped like a Rose. It even has petals.

[allgremlinart]

haiiiiii friend can you explain jianzhu to me I keep seeing you post about them and I’m nosy and wanna know (<- stopped watching atla bc I realized zutara was never gonna be canon)

also jetko. can you explain jetko too (I’m thinking they’re more on the ghostbat spectrum where it’s like. intense friendship that left both emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives)

TEEHEE HEEHE HEE <- me when I get the opportunity to explain/infodump cross-fandom stuff to mutuals

ok so Jianzhu... ahhh Jianzhu... ((SPOILERS for anyone reading the Kyoshi novels))

This is Jianzhu and also like... probably one of maybe 4 canon images/art there is of him... he's not from the original cartoon he's from the Avatar Kyoshi spin-off novels that take place abt 400 yrs before the events of the show (idk how much you know abt atla lore from osmosis so this might get a little tedious? I'm just gonna explain as succinctly as possible.)

To be brief, he's a cunty old man. But unlike when I call, say, Minhkhoa a cunty old man it's not really loving ... its more like... I love to hate him. He's a REALLY good villain.

He's a politician. He made 500 people dig their own graves and then buried them alive. He beheaded his friend of like 20+ years. He drugs and kidnaps teenagers. etc. It's great.

His whole character arc is like... He's in control. You start off the book and he is very clearly in control, and he knows what he's doing, and he even sounds halfway reasonable sometimes but over the course of the novel he gets more and more desperate to grab hold of a situation that spirals wildly away from him and you get to watch it happen. His justifications for his actions get crazier, he gets sloppier and sloppier with his murders....

OH also you know how sometimes people think Bruce is some callous asshole who was only using his adoptive son who worshipped him as a weapon, and when he died he quickly sought to replace him without remorse ? Yeah he's like that but. Like actually this time. His dead adoptive son also then comes back after eating an eyeball in the spirit world (idk) and kills him by pressing a pebble through his sternum so. More successful than Jason at patricide I'd say. Look there's a lot I didn't cover, here's his wiki.

ok Jetko... ah... the ancient yaoi..

Important required reading before I explain this ship is this post. What you have to understand about Zuko is that for basically like... 40 episodes the only person he shares significant screen time with is his uncle so when him and Jet met in s2 and had a decent 3 episodes worth of interactions ... it was enough, lets just say that.

The basic Jetko timeline is they meet on a ferry while Zuko and his Uncle are disguised as refugees and they steal food together -> Jet tries to get Zuko (who he only ever knows as "Li") to join his emo band gang which Zuko refuses -> Jet sees Uncle Warcrimes heating his tea and correctly deduces that they are firebenders (ie not who they say they are; the enemy) -> Zuko and his Uncle work in a tea shop while Jet stalks them and steals things from their house and watches them from behind clotheslines (yeah) -> Jet confronts them in the teashop, sword fight, Jet gets arrested and brainwashed by the secret police (yeah) -> Jet dies under a lake which Zuko only finds out about a season later.

So they never had the 4 years of intense homoerotic cohabitation that ghostbat had,.. their chemistry and potential are pretty much instigated by a few of Jet's weird intense lines, such as "As soon as I saw your scar I knew exactly who you were - you're an outcast, like me." And the crux of the ship is like.. Jet both does and doesn't know who Zuko is.

He knows he is also angry and restless, like himself - he knows he is running from his past, like himself - and he knows he is going to Ba Sing Se to create a new identity. These things are all true, for both of them; what Jet doesn't know is that Zuko is from the imperialist nation that brutally murdered his parents and invaded his home and he incorrectly assumes that the anger he recognizes in Zuko stems from the same need to enact violence on those who have taken everything from him.

So I guess the "thought you were exactly like me but then I found out you're not which enrages and humiliates me so know I'm going to beat the shit out of you" thing from BTK no. 6 is something they share with ghostbat but.. Jet's anger is probably a little more justified than Minhkhoa's lol...

In conclusion it's your basic "doomed relationship/they work great together but that doesn't fix anything" ship premise. It used to be more popular back in the day... pretty sure I owe my life to maybe 3 different Taiwanese/Chinese doujin artists from 2009... yeah that's the gist of it.

[the-ragbros-are-okay]

!! SPOILERS FOR CARIBERT ARCHON QUEST UNDER THE CUT !!

holy. fucking. shit

okay so i did all of it in one go the SECOND the update dropped and first of all???? kaeya actually being somewhat open about his past at dawn winery and talking about sneaking off to sumeru to see if he could find anything about Khaenri'ah,,,

part of me wonders if he was trying to find his way home. that was my first thought, at least

either that or he could've just wanted to investigate the possible remnants of his homeland

also the mental image of crepus traveling to sumeru to drag kaeya back to dawn winery is SO funny omg

anyway. this confirms that as a kid, kaeya was great at hiding and going unnoticed (for a short period of time, at least)

he described it as a "short-lived adventure" as if it was just something he did for fun, but i feel like it was more of a "i don't know where my father went after leaving me here and i know i can't ask for help from anyone around me so i'm going to take matters into my own (tiny) hands and try and get home/learn about home"

also, on that note, kaeya knowing khaenri'ah is near sumeru is...interesting

honestly, just the location is interesting to me

sumeru is, for the most part, surrounded by other nations (liyue, natlan, maybe fontaine? idk i'd need to look at a map) so unless khaenri'ah is west of sumeru, it's somewhat central to the other nations and has gone completely unnoticed since it was destroyed

anyway, back to talking about kaeya

in the weinlesefest, we heard kaeya's father's voice for the first time, and it was the line about kaeya being their nations only hope. however, i guess that line doesn't really affect kaeya in the way we thought it did. while we assumed he was always being torn between mondstadt and khaenri'ah, he was actually starting to think that his father left him there for his own good

honestly, healthy mindset there, king!

anyway after that he says "A happy life sounds good to me, of course. Even if it means being cut off from... certain things."

king. hey. are you talking about being cut off from your birthplace or being disowned by diluc; you gotta give me some direction here. personally, i'm going to assume he's talking about diluc now

kaeya had a very happy life when he was with crepus and diluc, and maybe he's including other people's happiness in his definition of a happy life. he's a people pleaser--if others are happy, so am i--and he thinks diluc is happier without kaeya

also him just saying that alberich is his surname makes me :(

like. listen. i know diluc disowned him so he cant really use the surname ragnvinder. but like cmon :(

and him saying his surname is "probably" the only link to khaenri'ah he has left,,, very interesting

ALSO DAIN???? "...One Death After Noon please, Boss." YOU LITTLE SHIT???? he REALLY just went in there with "i'm going to look you in the eyes, sit at your table, and order your favorite drink from your estranged brother's tavern. just for fun, ofc" like bitch????? omg

the tension between kaeya and dain is...yeesh

anyway. kaeya is the descendant of the abyss order's founder! yippee :) and now that he knows that for sure, there's definitely going to be SOME kind of interesting thought process he has

~~~~~

okay just my thoughts on kaeya for this post but the caribert quest fucked me up omg. like.

okay :)

how am i supposed to live knowing that this man spend SO many years trying to save his son only for it to fail and for him to be buried with a lover

also i love paimon!! she cares for the traveler and it's so sweet i don't get how people don't like her :(

NOT TO MENTION THE PART WITH OUR TWIN

LIKE. WHAT WAS THAT :DDDD