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rootedinrevisions · 2 days
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Unplanned Journeys: Part 1
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SUMMARY: You’ve been feeling off—tired, anxious, and full of doubt. When the realization hits that you could be pregnant, your world shifts. As you struggle with the weight of the situation and avoid Jake, the truth becomes impossible to ignore. When you finally tell Jake, the conversation is filled with tension and fear.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to the Anon who sent the request for this in! I hope you enjoy it! Also, there will be AT LEAST two more parts to this coming. I haven't decided yet how long I want to make this story quite yet.
WARNINGS: Angst. Unplanned pregnancy.
WORD COUNT: 4.1K
TAG LIST: @omgbrianab I @shanimallina87 I @fanficmom94 I @smoothdogsgirl I @djs8891 
If you would like to be added to my Tag List please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added!
It started as something small—just a slight sluggishness that you chalked up to long hours and a busy schedule. After all, everyone had days where they felt off, right? You didn’t think much of it at first. Maybe you hadn’t been drinking enough water or were pushing yourself too hard at the gym with the new workout routine you had taken up. But the fatigue lingered, heavier than usual. The exhaustion hit you mid-morning, the kind that left you wanting to crawl back into bed despite a full night’s sleep.
By day three, the headaches came. Sharp and persistent, not debilitating but enough to make focusing at work a struggle. You found yourself squinting at the screen, rubbing at your temples, wondering if your caffeine intake had anything to do with it. Coffee had always been your crutch, but suddenly it wasn’t helping. That in itself seemed odd—coffee usually gave you a little boost, but lately, it just left you feeling more nauseated than energized.
As you sat at your desk, half-listening to a Zoom meeting you were supposed to be engaged in, you absentmindedly reached for your phone. Flipping through your calendar, you skimmed the past couple of weeks, your thumb freezing as a realization crept in. You were late. Not by a lot—but enough to notice.
You glanced at the calendar again, frowning. Surely, it couldn’t be that. Your cycle was sometimes a day or two off. It wasn’t something to worry about. But still… you couldn’t shake the feeling, the quiet voice in the back of your mind that whispered that maybe this wasn’t just an irregular month.
No. You shook your head slightly, trying to clear the thought. You were on birth control. You and Jake had been careful. This was just your mind overreacting, connecting dots that weren’t there. But then a new thought slithered its way into your consciousness. A few weeks ago, you’d been sick—laid out with that stubborn cold. You’d gone to the doctor and gotten antibiotics.
Antibiotics…
Your breath caught in your throat as you suddenly remembered the doctor’s warning. Something about your birth control being less effective. At the time, you’d been too focused on just wanting to feel better, not giving much thought to how the medication could affect anything else.
The nausea from your coffee earlier that morning felt more like a bad omen now.
You leaned back in your chair, your heart thudding a little harder in your chest. No. It couldn’t be that. You were just being paranoid. But now, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The headaches. The exhaustion. The nausea from foods that had never made you nauseous before. Your pulse quickened as you stared at the calendar, connecting the dots. Could it really be? The thought hung there, weighty and terrifying. What if you were…?
The panic bubbled up, threatening to spill over, but you pushed it down. You needed answers, not speculation. You couldn’t keep spiraling like this. There was only one way to know for sure.
Without a second thought as soon as you were clocked out at 5:01pm, you grabbed your keys and purse, practically bolting for the door. There was a CVS just a few blocks away. The sooner you took the test, the sooner you could put this fear to rest.
As you hurried toward your car, your thoughts raced alongside you, a thousand different scenarios flashing in your mind. What if it’s positive? What would Jake say? Would he leave?
The short drive back to your apartment felt like miles, the little white CVS bag clutched in your hand felt heavier than it should have been. Each minute only magnified the gnawing uncertainty in your chest.
The moment you stepped through your front door, the cool air of your small apartment hit you, but it did little to calm the heat of your rising anxiety. You shut the door behind you, leaning against it for a moment as if delaying what you knew you had to do would somehow make the looming possibility disappear.
Your heart raced as you walked to the bathroom, the test still tucked in its box as though keeping it sealed would keep the truth hidden a little longer. You set it on the counter, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You looked tired. Your skin was paler than usual, dark circles faintly visible under your eyes. Maybe you were just exhausted. You had been working on a project at work that had a pretty tight deadline. Maybe it was finally catching up to you. Maybe you were imagining all of this. Making up something that wasn't there.
With a shaky breath, you turned away from the mirror, reaching for the box. The sound of the packaging tearing open seemed too loud in the quiet apartment. You took one of the two pregnancy tests out and set it on the counter. Your hands trembled slightly as you read over the instructions, even though you didn’t really need them—you knew how this worked. Open the package. Pee on the stick. Wait. But reading them gave you a few more seconds before facing the truth.
You took a deep breath and finally did what needed to be done. Afterward, you placed the test down, careful not to look at it yet, and set the timer on your phone. You couldn’t bear to watch the lines form, so you forced yourself to sit down on the edge of the bathtub, pressing the heels of your palms into your knees, grounding yourself while you waited. Three minutes felt like an eternity.
Your mind raced, jumping between panicked thoughts and desperate rationalizations. There was no way. You and Jake had been careful, hadn’t you? You’d been taking birth control for years with no issues. And yet… there had been that one night, the night you felt better after being sick. You remembered how he had pulled you close, his warmth intoxicating after those few days of feeling terrible, his touch erasing the last of your discomfort. It had been one of those spontaneous moments, the kind you didn’t overthink. But now, it felt like maybe you should have.
The timer on your phone went off, snapping you out of your thoughts with a jarring sound. You inhaled sharply, your heart thudding hard against your chest as you reached for the test. With your hand trembling, you flipped it over, your breath catching in your throat.
Two pink lines stared back at you.
Your vision blurred as the world seemed to tilt for a moment. No. You blinked hard, clearing your eyes, then looked again.
Two pink lines.
You felt the floor drop out from under you, a heavy weight settling in your stomach. You set the test down, unable to keep looking at it, and hurriedly reached for the second test in the box. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe you’d done something wrong. Hands shaking even more now, you repeated the process, this time pacing the bathroom as the second timer ticked down.
But deep down, you already knew.
The timer buzzed again, and with a knot tightening in your throat, you picked up the second test.
Two pink lines stared back at you, a confirmation you weren’t ready for.
You sat back down on the edge of the tub, the reality of it all sinking in, a cold rush of panic sweeping over you. This couldn’t be happening. How could this be happening? 
Your thoughts went to Jake. How would he react? Would he freak out? Would he be upset? Would he leave? End things with you? Your chest tightened at the idea of telling him. You’d only been together a few months, and even though things were going well, you couldn’t help but feel that this would be too much, too soon.
You pressed your hands to your face, trying to steady your breathing, but your mind wouldn’t stop racing. Images of Jake flashed through your mind—his charming smile, the way he’d pull you into his arms without a second thought, the lighthearted banter that had drawn you to him. Your relationship was going strong. But was that enough? Were you enough? Would it be enough to survive something as life-changing as this?
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you quickly wiped them away. Crying wouldn’t help. You needed to think, to figure out what you were going to do next. But your thoughts were a jumbled mess of fear, uncertainty, and—oddly enough—a tiny flicker of something else. Something you didn’t want to admit. Hope.
You shook your head, trying to push the thought aside. This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to be feeling this lost, this scared, not when the rest of your life could be so drastically altered by a couple of pink lines.
But there was no denying it now. You were pregnant.
And you had no idea what to do next.
The next morning, the reality of what had happened still weighed heavily on you. It had settled in overnight, creeping into your mind every time you closed your eyes, so sleep was hardly an escape. You lay in bed longer than usual, staring at the ceiling, the events of yesterday playing on a loop. The two pink lines. Your pounding heart. The panic that had taken root in your chest, now a constant, gnawing ache.
But beyond the overwhelming fear of your situation was an even greater question: Jake. How were you going to tell him? Or… should you even tell him yet?
Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, startling you out of your thoughts. You didn’t have to check to know who it was. Jake had sent a text earlier in the morning—a simple “Good morning” with a smiley face—and you had left it unanswered.
Now, a second message appeared, more direct this time:
Jake: You okay? Haven’t heard from you.
You swallowed hard, staring at the screen. You didn’t know what to say to him, didn’t know how to talk to him without the weight of your secret making everything feel wrong. Your thumb hovered over the keyboard as your mind scrambled for something—anything—normal to respond with.
You: Yeah, sorry. Been busy.
You stared at the message for a moment, guilt settling in your chest as you hit send. You hated how distant the response felt, hated how you couldn’t bring yourself to say more. But what could you say?
The seconds stretched on before your phone buzzed again.
Jake: Busy? You trying to avoid me?? ;)
The words on the screen were playful, a light jab that might’ve made you smile any other day. But today, it only made you feel worse. He was catching on. Jake always had a knack for reading people, and now he was reading you, seeing right through your weak attempts to act normal.
You set your phone aside, deciding not to answer for now. You’d figure out what to tell him later. But for now, you just needed space. Space to think. Space to process. Space to make sense of the storm that had taken over your mind.
The day dragged on, and you kept your distance. Every time your phone buzzed with a message from him, your anxiety spiked, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to respond beyond brief, one-word replies. You were trapped in this bubble of avoidance, knowing full well that it wasn’t sustainable but unable to break free of it just yet.
Later that evening the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden hue over The Hard Deck as you stepped inside. The familiar sounds of laughter and clinking glasses filled the air, but they felt distant, almost muffled, as you made your way to the bar. 
Jake was already there, leaning against the counter, chatting with a few of the guys. His laughter rang out, and your heart sank a little. How could you keep this secret from him when he looked so carefree?
“Hey, you made it!” Jake grinned, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement as he reached out to pull you closer. You forced a smile in return, feeling the weight of your secret settle heavily on your chest.
You settled onto a barstool beside him, ordering a Diet Coke, the bubbly drink a stark contrast to the cold beer he and the others were enjoying. As Penny placed your drink in front of you, Jake’s gaze narrowed slightly.
“Diet Coke?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “You sure you’re not feeling under the weather? I thought you’d be grabbing a beer with me.”
“Just not in the mood for one tonight,” you replied, trying to sound casual.
“Come on, it’s Thursday night! You can’t tell me you don’t want to kick back with a cold one.” He leaned in closer, a playful grin on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me.”
You chuckled lightly, but it felt forced. “I just have a lot on my mind with that project deadline tomorrow I told you about.”
“Just thinking about work, huh?” he asked, his voice low, laced with concern. 
You nodded, a little too quickly, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tremor in your hand as you raised the glass to your lips. 
Later that night after beating Rooster and Bob in games of pool Jake made his way back over to where you were still sitting on the bar stool. 
“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight. You sure you’re okay?” He said as he put his hand on your back and began gently rubbing it.
“I’m fine,” you replied, a little too rehearsed, the words falling from your lips like an empty promise. “Just a lot on my mind with that deadline tomorrow.”
“Right.” He nodded, though the frown on his face told you he wasn’t entirely convinced. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer, but instead of the warmth you usually felt, you tensed.
You could feel him studying you, as if he were searching for something just beneath the surface. His touch, usually comforting, felt heavy now. “You’re not really laughing tonight,” he pointed out, the concern in his tone deepening. “I mean, that joke from Phoenix was hilarious, and you didn’t even crack a smile.”
“Sorry,” you mumbled. “Just a lot on my mind, that’s all.”
Jake tilted his head, his brow furrowing. “You sure that’s all? Because it feels like something else is going on.”
You swallowed hard, the truth lingering just beneath your tongue. He deserved to know, but the thought of revealing your pregnancy sent waves of panic coursing through you. Instead, you looked down at your drink, tracing your finger over the rim of the glass. “Really, Jake. I’m just... thinking about everything.”
“Okay, but you know I’m here for you, right?” His voice softened, and you could see the worry etched across his features. “If you need to talk, just say the word. I can take you home. We can go back to my place. Whatever you want.”
You nodded again, forcing a smile that felt more like a grimace. “I know. I appreciate it.”
The night wore on, and the laughter and camaraderie around you seemed to grow louder while you felt more isolated in your thoughts. As Jake tried to draw you back into the fold, the distance between you only seemed to widen. Each time he reached out, you instinctively pulled away, hiding the truth that threatened to spill from your lips.
You were trapped in a delicate dance, and with each passing moment, the weight of your secret pressed heavier against your chest. You took a deep breath, knowing that soon, you’d have to face him. But for now, all you could do was keep the facade intact, holding on to the last threads of normalcy before the storm would break.
When Jake asked you to meet him at The Hard Deck the following evening, your heart sank. He was trying, reaching out to spend time with you like always, but the idea of seeing him, pretending that everything was normal, felt impossible. Your chest tightened as you typed out your reply.
You: Can’t tonight. Sorry.
You could almost imagine the confusion on his face as he read your message. Normally, you would’ve jumped at the chance to meet up with him, to sit at the bar with him, sharing drinks and flirty comments. But not tonight. Not now.
You spent the evening in your apartment, pacing, thinking. The truth was suffocating you, and the longer you put off telling him, the worse it became. But fear gripped you every time you thought about saying the words out loud. What if this changed everything? What if Jake didn’t want this? What if he… walked away?
The knot in your stomach twisted tighter at the thought. You tried to shake it off, tried to reassure yourself that you were overthinking things, but the fear wouldn’t let go.
You didn’t know Jake’s thoughts on kids, on the future, on anything beyond the easy, carefree nature of your fairly new relationship. And now, this could upend everything.
When your phone buzzed again later that night, you ignored it. You couldn’t deal with it. Couldn't deal with him. Not yet.
But avoiding Jake was harder than you expected.
The next evening, as you sat curled up on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, you heard a knock on your door. Your heart skipped a beat. For a moment, you froze, staring blankly at the door. Who would be at your door right now?
Another knock. Louder this time.
Your pulse quickened as you pushed yourself up from the couch and made your way toward the door. You peered through the peephole, and your stomach dropped.
It was Jake.
You hesitated, every muscle in your body suddenly tense. He had come to see you. Maybe he was worried. Or maybe he was just tired of your evasiveness. You couldn’t tell. All you knew was that he was here, standing on the other side of your door, and you had to face him.
With a shaky breath, you unlocked the door and slowly opened it. There he was, standing in the hallway, his hands tucked in his jacket pockets, his usual easygoing smile playing on his lips. But there was something in his eyes—something you couldn’t quite read.
“Hey,” he said, looking up to meet your eyes.
He leaned in slightly as if to kiss you. Instinctively, you took a small step back, the distance between you immediately noticeable.
Jake’s smile faltered.
“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice soft but laced with concern. He tilted his head, studying your face. “You’ve been avoiding me for days. Didn’t even want to meet me at the Hard Deck tonight. That’s not like you.”
You swallowed hard, unable to meet his gaze. “I’ve just… been busy,” you muttered, knowing how weak it sounded.
“Busy. Right. Well, your deadline at work was up at 4:59, so what's your excuse now?” Jake repeated, his brows furrowing in confusion. “Are you avoiding me? Is something wrong?”
Your chest tightened as he pushed, his words cutting through your thin layer of avoidance. He wasn’t letting this go. And you didn’t know how to handle it.
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, avoiding eye contact. “It’s nothing.”
Jake stepped closer, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied you. “You sure about that?” His voice was firmer now, the playful edge gone. “Because this isn’t you. You've barely texted me all week. Then you acted like you were trying to avoid me like the plague last night at the bar. You blew me off tonight, and now… what? You’re acting like you don’t even want me here?” He paused and just looked at you, shaking his head. "Do you want me here? Do you want me to leave?"
The guilt hit you like a tidal wave, and you could feel your emotions starting to bubble to the surface. You tried to swallow it down, to push the panic aside, but it was too much. The pressure was too much.
“Jake, I—” You stopped, biting your lip as your vision blurred with tears you hadn’t realized were forming. “I just… I don’t know how to—”
He took a step forward, his voice softening again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It's just...you're scaring me, babe. You're making me think you're trying to hide something. Just talk to me. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. But don’t shut me out like this. ”
You blinked, fighting back the tears. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to tell him. But fear kept your throat tight, the words trapped inside.
He reached for your hand, his touch gentle, and grounding, but even that felt too much right now.
You pulled away, stepping back toward the living room.
“I… I don’t know if I can do this right now,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Jake frowned, confused. “What do you mean? Can’t do what?”
You knew you couldn’t avoid the truth much longer. 
“Jake, I’m pregnant.” you blurted out, your voice breaking. The words spilled out before you could stop them.
The room went completely still. For a moment, Jake didn’t react, his expression frozen in surprise as if he hadn’t quite processed what you had just said.
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your ears. “I… I took a test a few days ago. It was positive.” The words felt heavy, hanging in the air between you, and you could barely look at him. “I didn’t know how to tell you… I didn’t even know how to deal with it myself.”
The silence stretched on, thick and suffocating, as Jake stood there, his gaze locked on you. You could see the shock in his eyes, the way his mind seemed to be working through what you had just revealed. Your stomach twisted in knots, the fear bubbling up again. You had no idea how he was going to react. No idea what this meant for the two of you.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jake exhaled, running a hand through his hair as he stepped back, processing. His face was unreadable, and the silence between you became unbearable.
“I… I didn’t see that coming,” he said finally, his voice low and rough around the edges.
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to look at him. “Neither did I,” you whispered, your throat tight. “I’ve been freaking out, Jake. I didn’t know how to handle this. I didn’t know if I should tell you, or if you even—”
He held up a hand, stopping you mid-sentence. “Wait… did you think I wouldn’t want to know? Were you thinking about not telling me?”
His tone wasn’t angry, but it was laced with disbelief, and you realized what you had implied. Your heart clenched as you met his gaze, seeing the hurt in his eyes.
“I didn’t know what to think,” you admitted, your voice shaking as tears started to form in your eyes. “I was scared, Jake. I still am. I don’t know what this means for us, or for anything.”
Jake took a deep breath, his eyes softening as he stepped toward you. His hand reached out, gently taking yours, his touch warm and steady. “Baby, I get that this is… huge. It’s not something either of us expected. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
His words sent a wave of relief washing over you, but the fear was still there, lingering at the edges. You had been so caught up in your panic that you hadn’t allowed yourself to hope for this—that Jake wouldn’t run, that he wouldn’t leave you to handle this alone.
“Are you sure?” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Because I don’t even know if I’m ready for this.”
Jake squeezed your hand gently, his eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what the future holds, and yeah, this is scary as hell. But we’ll figure it out. Together.”
The weight of his words hit you like a tidal wave, and for the first time in days, you felt a sliver of hope break through the fear. You weren’t alone in this. Jake wasn’t going to leave.
The tears that had welled up in your eyes finally broke free and started to roll down your cheeks as you looked at him, the emotion finally overwhelming you.
“I was so scared,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I didn’t know if you’d want this. If you’d want me.”
Jake’s expression softened even further, and without a word, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. You buried your face in his chest, your tears soaking into his shirt as the reality of everything finally hit you. But this time, it didn’t feel as crushing. With Jake’s arms around you, it felt just a little bit lighter.
“This isn't your fault, baby. We both made this baby. I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured into your hair, his voice steady. “We’re in this together.”
You stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in his embrace, the fear still there but no longer as suffocating. With Jake by your side, you knew you could face whatever came next.
For the first time since seeing those two pink lines, you allowed yourself to believe that everything might just be okay.
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brynnmclean · 4 months
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saw a post questioning shipping Senua and Thórgestr and started to reblog it with a tag novel-- felt weird about doing that since this is lengthy and potentially derailing, so making my own post instead. Spitballing under the cut:
First off, any time someone is like, "the real reason people ship this is because they find the dude attractive," this is SO funny to me as someone who doesn't find men attractive IRL and has fiercely loved Senua since I played the first game, like-- actually I find the dynamic between those two characters to be compelling and interesting precisely because of all the baggage between them re: their backgrounds, the rough (put mildly!) beginning of their relationship, all the things they don't talk about, and them finding a common enemy/common ground to work with. The explicit parallels between them stated in-game scratched an itch in my brain. The minute they pointed out the dark rot on his arm, it was like, "oh! hello there! NOW I'm interested in whatever your whole deal is" for me. Also, idk man, I too would follow Senua around after she knocked me into the dirt and then showed me a way to fight the giants that I very much wanted to fight instead of appease.
The idea that Thórgestr was part of the Orkney Raid that killed and mutilated Dillion is VERY interesting food for thought, even if I don't personally have that headcanon (surely there are more viking raiding groups than just the Bjorg). I think the Furies or the Shadow said something similar about Fargrimr (his kin murdered yours, you shouldn't save him, etc.) so I completely get that line of thought, but I think the game left it ambiguous enough that it's up for interpretation. Would I read fic with that premise? Yeah, I'd check that out. Could Senua forgive Thorgestr if his people were involved? Sounds fun to explore.
If (ha, when?) I write fic, I'd have to think more about it especially wrt timelines, like when did the Bjorg start specifically raiding for slaves for giant food sacrifices vs. killing people for resources and wealth? How far off are we from the old gods "dying" and the volcano erupting? Was it indeed a different group of raiders who made a deal with Zynbel, attacked Senua's home, and made the sacrifice at that time to Hela?
At the very least, I think there's a time jump between the end of Hellblade I and the beginning of Hellblade II since Senua wasn't alone on that slave ship and at least one of the (brief) survivors knew her by name. I wouldn't mind exploring that gap of time, too.
In any case I do agree that it would take a VERY long time for Senua to consciously catch feelings for anyone let alone Thorgestr with all their collective baggage. The idea of them having a relationship beyond friendship in the far off future of an AU where he survives is the only one that can make sense in my brain, personally. It would take time! Time they didn't get in the game! But I think there are a lot of different roads that could take, and some of them might be healthier than others. Shipping them certainly isn't forgetting or excusing what happened to Dillion-- or even mutually exclusive from still shipping Senua and Dillion. Or, frankly, also shipping Senua and Astridr, because I can see that ship too.
One of the nice things about all the details Ninja Theory didn't expand upon and that they left that ending so open is that the sky's the limit. I'm VERY interested in seeing fandom tackle this game as we get farther from the initial release.
#kate plays hellblade#senua x thorgestr#a friend did laugh at me recently and say there's always a weird guy i latch onto and i laughed back and said i'm a boy in my brain#i think i've felt that way forever and it's still true. i DO gravitate toward male characters#especially ones who are a bit starry-eyed over their female counterparts#anyway that's not what this post is about#it's more of me throwing thoughts out into the ether because i don't have the energy or time to write fic yet#but i am Thinking About It#what happens after the story left off? what if we changed ONE THING and gave them more time#i stopped using accent marks midway through this sorry i'm typing on a computer. my phone would catch them but alas.#i can't remember my video games tag#senua#thorgestr#hellblade#senua's saga#i'm really just excited to talk fannish things about this one#the first game was so neat and tied up that i felt no fannish inclinations beyond loving the game#but there's SO MUCH ROOM HERE with this second one#delightful#i'll read all the AUs even the sad ones#when it comes to thorgestr and senua i think thorgestr fell first and pretty hard but he doesn't talk about it until senua starts opening u#i really think those two are made for a glacially slow burn#maybe not if she becomes the tyrant seer. loved and feared.#could be quick and very unhealthy. ALSO compelling to me!#senua's saga spoilers#to be safe#these tags are about as long as the post. i'd better quit while i'm ahead.#hertan writing tag
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vmures · 1 month
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second verse, much like the first
I was tagged by the ever fabulous @oldefashioned with the request to do my url in beloved movies this time.
So here we go:
Victor/Victoria
Mulan
Undercover Blues
RED
Ever After
Spirited Away
This one was challenging. Both because I'm still waking up and so struggled to think of movies starting with various letters and because there are a lot of great movies out there that could have fit and I had to choose which one to use.
If you'd like to play along, please do so and tag me with your response! It's fun to see what movies people pick.
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passionfell · 17 days
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TAGS ; ROY MAYRANA
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[ the captain. ⚓︎ ic. ] roy. [ laugh because i'm leaving; sing my name when i come home. ⚓︎ visage. ] roy. [ i feel scared and i'm starting to sink. ⚓︎ isms. ] roy. [ never you buckle and bend to the masses. ⚓︎ aesthetic. ] roy. [ i will always remember your kindness to me; here's a health to the company! ⚓︎ lore. ] roy.
[ i have the power to talk to fish. they can't understand me or talk back though. ⚓︎ crack. ] roy. [ i know i'm more than what i fear. ⚓︎ dash games. ] roy.
[ it's not fair how charmed i am (i'll stand and wait however long). ⚓︎ roy & sagra. ] risingretribution.
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sskk-manifesto · 11 hours
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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fluffypichu876 · 6 months
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
not my sunbro...
damn you miyazaki...
#i'm so sorry my friend... it was for your sake...#given that this is dark souls i should have seen it coming but man...#HIS DEATH DIALOGUE NOOO#you should have found your sun my friend...#not a fucking bug#SERIOUSLY SOLAIRE DYING BECAUSE OF A BUG???????#were you that desperate?#oh god i feel terrible#later i had to go to anor londo to try to find something and seeing that area around the bonfire completely desolate without solaire there#it was so fucking depressing#AND I SAW LIKE 3 DIFFERENT MESSAGES SAYING 'tears?' LIKE YEAH NO SHIT#so i left one too :')#*sigh* i miss him already#i keep letting characters die and now firelink shrine is more of a grave than a nice safe sanctuary to chat with npcs#(haha funny there's an actual graveyard there haha oh god)#ouch i just remembered that i kinda let larentius hollow#god he was so nice too#he literally trusted me with a part of himself dude wth i feel horrible#the fromsoft experience™#i remember when i felt terrible for getting the immortal severance ending in sekiro#NOT MY BOI KURO DAMNIT#and wolf becoming a sculptor like the proof of an endless cycle of suffering that i failed to break...#god i hate that ending#*sigh* back to ds1 at least siegmeyer is still alive and jolly as ever#except he met me at firelink and said he was going somewhere and now i'm terrified that's he's just gonna die too ahahahahahah help#NOT YOU TOO ONIONBRO STAY ALIVE OR I'LL... I'LL KILL YOU#...sorry for venting in the tags#AND THE WORST OFFENDER IS THAT I HAD TO KILL HIM MYSELF FUCK#i'm so sorry my friend... my sunbro...#dark souls
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winter-spark · 11 months
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CitoIta and Kingdom Hearts Headcanons
Because I like Kingdom Hearts and I like them and they are gamers
(I say CitoIta but honestly, it’s just because it’s about Citron & Itaru, the ship is kinda vague here lol. Like it’s probably optional to read it that way at this point)
(There’s an attempted bonus section about Banri at the end, that’s why I tagged him.)
{Opening in new tab is strongly advised. I used bullet points with sub bullet points. UPDATE: I personally struggled with opening this in a new tab on the blog where all the subpoints are properly formatted, so I pinned it so you can go right to my blog and find it easily if you want. Also I moved the Intro below the Keep Reading link for space.}
Keep Reading (I manually put this one so it would hopefully always open in a new properly formatted tab)
In this post, scientifically backed by my memory, understanding of the characters and other things (eg: feelings, unlisted headcanons, & my understanding of types of people in fanbases/the kh fandom, minus shippers, I’m not touching that... here, I might consider it in the future, probably not but maybe), I will go over basics like how many games they’ve played and their fave games, trios, characters by groups, and moments. Also, there are conversations and little tidbits about how it fits into their world. I tried to pick a favorite battle but note that they probably have more than one those are just notable ones that I thought were worth mentioning. There will be KH spoilers if you’re someone unfamiliar/not caught up with it. 
Citron
Has not played every game but has looked into the story and watched playthroughs of some of the other games.
Hasn’t played the games he has played in order, 
Might not have caught up on the story in order but if so that’d be more because he was looking for specific characters and info
Has definitely played BBS, Days, CoM, UX, & Dark Road. 
Might’ve played (one, two or all three of the following, idk) DDD, Re:Coded, KH
Has definitely not played KH2,
Likes to find/delve into theories
Read the Sleeping Realm Theory 
to Itaru, because he thought it sorta sounded interesting but told Citron he wasn’t reading all that.
I don’t know any other names of long theories besides SRT but you can bet your bottom dollar that Citron has read(or listened to) them for sure
Wants very much to try Sea Salt ice cream
Considering figuring out how to make Wayfinders
UX Union:
Anguis 
and has never switched unions
Favorites:
Game: Birth By Sleep
Trio: Keyblade Knights
Lost Trio is a close second
Character from each group:
Destiny: Sora
Sea Salt: Axel
Keyblade Knights: Aqua
Twilight Town: Hayner
Lost Trio: Namine
but Vanitas is a close second
Organization 13(minus Sea Salt): Xemnas, Zexion/Ienzo or Demyx(probably depends on the day)
Foretellers: Luxu
Xkids: Brain
& He gets bonus points for dressing up his Chirithy
DR Underclassmen: Vor
DR Upperclassmen: Vidar
Xehanort: Xemnas (?)
I know I listed Xemnas as one of his faves in Organization 13 but genuinely I feel it’s a v love hate relationship, where the love is that he can and definitely would(is like two seconds away from it) do an analysis on Xemnas’s actions/behaviors/character
Boss Battle(that he definitely 100% played): 
BBS Aqua ft. Terra vs Terranort
Opening:
Birth by Sleep 0.2 A Fragmentary Passage
Moments/Tidbits:
Involving Fave Trio:
All three:
KH3
Terra gaining control and saving Aqua and Ven
Aqua:
BBS
Doing her job but still standing up for Stitch
Giving up everything to try and save Terra
BBS 0.2
Knowingly chasing after illusions of her friends because she misses them so much.
Terra:
BBS
Gaining hope from meeting Cinderella
Standing against Eraqus to protect Ven
Ven:
BBS:
Running away with Stitch, lowkey being a space criminal
DDD:
Putting his armor on Sora to protect him from the darkness 
Involving someone other than Fave Trio:
KH1:
Kairi protecting Sora/saving him from being a Heartless
Days:
that Sora just subconsciously gave some of his memories to Xion because she didn’t have any
DDD
Neku telling Joshua Shibuya is his home too
Sora going off to thank the Dreameaters
Commonly Quoted(? idk what else to call these, i specifically mean the ones you find in compilations and stuff) Lines from the English Translation: “[’Me? I’m already half Xehanort'] ‘That’s nuts...’”
Bracketed the first part bcuz I think he uses the second part as a reaction sometimes, same infliction and everything
It’s at the point that Tsuzuru’s familiar with it, against his wishes(If Citron says the first part Tsuzuru might accidentally properly respond, that’s how deep in he is, he’s not even sure who Xehanort is(but he does think that’s nuts))
Final things of note: 
Is excited for Atlantis in KH2
Enjoys the attractions in KH3:
Loves that Dark Aqua could be beat w/ a pirate ship 
Loves that there was a roller coaster in the Keyblade Graveyard
Favorite Summons:
KH: Tinkerbell & Bambi
KH2: Stitch
KH3: Ariel & Meowwow
Often forgets he has items but has gotten really good at blocking and healing because of it
Very good with magic
Itaru
Has played just about every game in release date order, 
with just about 100% completion on all of them
Is (lowkey, but acts highkey) appalled Citron hasn’t played the games in order, currently planning time for them to play through all the games together
Has read the manga and maybe some of the light novels
Does look at theories sometimes, might even have a few of his own, definitely has his own headcanons
Secretly wishes he could share a Paopu Fruit w/ someone
UX Union:
Vulpeus
There’s a possibility he might’ve tried the other unions at some point but Vulpeus is his main and current union
Favorites:
Game: KH2
Trio: Sea Salt
Character from each group:
Destiny: Currently Riku, 
Wants it to be Kairi, but it’s just not, is always excited and ready for Kairi news tho
Was Sora for awhile
Sea Salt: Roxas, 
It really is, but he would absolutely main Xion if given the chance
Keyblade Knights: Aqua
Twilight Town: Roxas  Olette 
though he somewhat feels guilty to Pence as feels like he spent more time with Pence but that Olette is just a tad bit cooler
Lost Trio: Rep,
but Namine’s a close second 
Organization 13(minus Sea Salt): Currently Saïx/Isa, but it’s kind of a love hate relationship
There’s also a lean towards Larxene
Foretellers: Ava
Xkids: Skuld
DR underclassmen: Baldr
DR Upperclassmen: Hoder
Yes he cried over their story, no he won’t openly admit it
Chikage did witness it tho
Xehanort: Ansem SoD
Boss Battle (that he definitely 100% played): 
Days Roxas v Xion
Opening:
KH2, 
not because KH2 is his favorite game but rather it adds to why KH2 is his favorite game
Moments/Tidbits:
Involving Fave Trio:
All Three:
KH3
Their whole battle/reunion
to clarify the Lea Isa scene is a part of that
Roxas:
Days
The scene around the Riku vs Roxas battle
KH2:
Roxas v Sora scene
(I debated between this and the DDD scene. Also I feel like his list of favorite Roxas moment is longer than this but)
Xion:
KH2:
The seashell in the opening... for Xion
Days
Xion getting her own answers and spending time with Namine and Riku
Xion leaving all those seashells for Roxas
Axel:
CoM
Letting Namine go
KH2
Sacrificing himself to save Sora
Involving someone other than Fave Trio: 
KH2
Sora and Riku in RoD
Coded:
(Data-)Riku reaching for the moon
UX
Ephemer and Skuld saving Player|Star(light)/bringing them to the new version of the world
KH3 Re: Mind
Playing as Kairi in that boss battle
The fact that Kairi throws her keyblade because she trained with Axel
Commonly Quoted(?) Lines from the English Translation: “Roxas, that’s a stick.”
Final things of note:
Has found all 101 Dalmatians
Has read fanfiction longer than the Sleeping Realm Theory
(which is actually really easy to do, I looked it up and the docs word count is 31,265)
Has his Data-bosses battles on his channel
Proud it only took a couple of tries to beat Yozora (he recorded each try to put his win on his channel)
Uses items all the time, knows when the best time to effectively use items for maximum item usage
“Actual" conversations:
Fave Games:
Itaru: *rambling about some KH2-related topic &/or how he can’t believe Citron hasn’t played 2*
Citron: ooo! Itaru, are you one of those guys who feels Kingdom Hearts peaked at 2?
Itaru: Kingdom Hearts 2 is just an objectively good game, the other games are good too though. KH2 is just, objectively speaking, great. Is it my favorite? Yes, but it’s completely warranted as...
Citron: *smiling as Itaru starts rambling knowing that he’s point two seconds away from going into a 2hr spiel about how KH2 is great*
Itaru: *clears throat catching himself early* A-Anyway, which one’s your favorite?
Citron: Birth by Sleep! I love the ice cream rhythm game :3
Itaru: *understanding that there’s definitely a lot deeper of a reason to that being Citron’s fave* Oh, that’s a good pick. Actually sorta seems on brand for you. Ice Cream Beat is pretty fun.
[Then they boot up Itaru’s copy of BBS and play Ice Cream Beat]
Play Order:
Itaru: So it’s a little late for you to get the full proper experience but we’re gonna play the games in order because it’s really the best way to experience the games.
Citron: Ok, speaking of order and since we’ll get to Birth By Sleep eventually, we both agree that the best way to play the first time is Aqua Terra Ven, yes?
Itaru [has played each route and in varying order, does not quite remember which order he played the game in the first time but is pretty sure it was Terra Ven Aqua]: ...Ven makes a lot of sense to play last...
Citron: Then I am glad we are in agreement. ^^
Itaru: Most people play Aqua last tho--
Citron: Sure chronologically she left Land of Departure last, but story telling-wise *starts talking about why Aqua, Terra, Ven is the best order*
Twewy: (I could do a whole other post on headcanons regarding them playing twewy, it’d maybe be shorter, tho maybe I won’t bcuz I feel like they know more than me lol(I say like Itaru doesn’t know more about KH than me *cries*). If I refer to twewy’s og name wrong here I’m sorry)
Citron: It’s cool that the twewy characters were in DDD. :)
Itaru: Yea. Oh you played subaseka before you met the cast in 3D right?
Citron: :)
Itaru: Right?
[Citron refuses to answer because he thinks leaving Itaru hanging is funnier than a yes or no ever could be]
Ansem SoD as Itaru’s Fave Xehanort:
Citron *three seconds after finding out*: So, is he your favorite because nostalgia as he was the first one you battled or because you think he’s hot?
Itaru: *chokes on being immediately found out because it’s both*
Bonus: Banri & KH Headcanons for no reason other than he also plays games
(With some obligatory Citron and Itaru mentions below because this is their post lol Banri’s not a part of CitoIta. Just to clarify)
Probably has not played all the games
Stares at Itaru whenever he starts talking about secret bosses or hard-to-find treasure chests/secret reports typically until he stops, lists a specific Banri is familiar with or Banri finds a way to shift the conversation. It’s not that he hasn’t come across them he just
doesn’t know which bosses are secret and which aren’t
doesn’t go out of his way to look for treasure chests
Partakes in the memes
Can quote more games than he played honestly, loves those “out of context”/”lines I quote” videos
Has memes saved to his phone
Azami and Taichi borrowed his phone once for picture reasons and Azami was appalled by the Aqua Cinderella meme & the Terra memes (ifykyk)
Probably had Xion’s scream from Days as Sakyo’s someone’s ringtone as a joke (can people set ringtones and ringback tones anymore?) but then he recieved a call from that person in public and was lowkey highkey embarassed so he unset it
He and Citron:
have done a Goofy rendition of Bring Me to Life one time
though Banri sorta begrudgingly participated
At least one Mankai member who was there said he’s not going Karaoke w/ them anymore
are quick to point out or send pictures of “Lucky Emblems” when they see them, it’s almost a contest at this point
Sakyo has asked them to stop sending “lOOk!! a LuCKy emBlem!” in the main chat with a picture of three connected circles, Itaru eggs them on tho
Itaru participates too but he doesn’t have the same luck in seeing them, he is the reason they started tho as in person he pointed one out so later Citron sent a picture of one to show him, so Banri just had to too but he sent two as he already had the pictures and was gonna show them later, so Citron had to find two more to be in the lead and after he found just one more, Banri caught on that they were competing and they spiraled from there
I know logically they don’t appear that often irl but I also know in my heart that it’s happened enough that Taichi, then Kazu and Kumon participated. Now,  the rest of Mankai keeps an eye out for them
Between Tsumugi’s picture of flower bulbs leaning together captioned “Does this count as a lucky emblem?” Izumi asking how many points she gets for a random spot on the ground that sorta looks like a lucky emblem & Omi sending a picture of at lighting set up from work saying “ at this angle this sorta looks like a lucky emblem right?” Sakyo’s feeling a little betrayed because each of those were during times when people weren’t actively mentioning them in the chat.
Winter Troupe is the first troupe to all find at least one “Lucky Emblem”
Autumn troupe (jokingly) blame Sakyo for them not being first
UX Union:
Has probably been in a couple, Ursus or Vulpeus most recently
Favorites:
Game: Dream Drop Distance
but would rather tell you he “hasn’t thought about it, maybe 2″
Trio: Destiny, 
but might not correct you if you guessed Sea Salt,
Character from each group:
Destiny: Riku
He honestly sorta relates in ways. I’m not gonna get too into it but like yea he feels.
Sea Salt: Roxas
Keyblade Knights: Terra, 
but he makes jokes that rag on him a lot so unless you know Banri you would probably think he hates him or just likes to make fun of him. He really does like Terra as a character tho. Feels for him too. But as we know bullying is his love language
Twilight Town: Seifer��Pence
Seifer’s a joke fave because of the undeniable proof [they] totally owned [those] lamers (if ykyk)
Lost Trio: Vanitas, 
but Rep’s a close second
Organization 13(minus Sea Salt): Larxene & Xigbar
Foretellers: Luxu (?)
Xkids: Player|Star(light)
DR Underclassmen: Xehanort, “but Bragi’s kinda cool, I guess.”
DR Upperclassmen: *hasn’t actually caught up yet, but he likes Helgi’s design*
Xehanort: Young Master Xehanort(YMX)
Itaru says it’s because they’re both brats
Boss Battle (that he definitely 100% played): 
KH2 Sora v Sephiroth or DDD Riku v YMX [I couldn’t decide which one to list]
Opening:
KH3
Moments/Tidbits:
Involving Fave Trio:
All Three:
KH2
Kairi “calling Riku tf out” ultimately leading to the reunion
KH3
Riku talking with Rep on the beach, Kairi and Sora sees him sitting there by himself
Sora:
KH1
Sora giving his goofy smile before plunging a keyblade into his chest
KH3
Sora dropping down to protect Riku from Dark Aqua in the nick of time
Riku:
DDD
That Riku just subconsciously became a dream eater
KH3
Riku taking a stand against the heartless despite just about all hope being lost
Kairi:
KH2:
Kairi(and Namine) preparing to fight Saix and the berserker nobodies with their bare hands
KH3 Re:Mind
Kairi getting a surprise attack in on Xemnas
Involving someone other than Fave Trio: 
KH3
Yeetus Vanitas
Woody roasting YMX
DDD
YMX & Vanitas spouting “nonsense” at Sora
Lea showing up and Donald & Goofy dropping from the sky, ultimately coming to the rescue
UX
Star ready to square up with the Foretellers
mainly in reference to the Star v Ira speech/scene/fight but the Aced one too
Commonly Quoted(?) Lines from the English Translation: “Mickey it’s Riku, they put bugs in him!” & “Thank you Sora’s heart”
Final things of note:
Always plays on proud mode from the get-go
Not really a completion-ist but does have just about every trophy earned on DDD
Didn’t know you could lose to Yozora in the battle against him
Probably actually more of a Final Fantasy fan than KH, or at least got into KH because the Final Fantasy appearances
Bonus Convos:
Demyx:
Itaru: Yea, I can’t figure out Luxord, for Demyx I’ve seen people guess his name as Myde.
Banri: lol I like the theory that his name is Demyx and he just wandered into the Organization 
Citron: That one is funny, but as far as likelyness goes I like to think his name is Demy and they just slapped an x at the end.
Banri: The laziest naming.
Citron: Exactly!
[and then Banri and Citron start talking about Demyx and it somehow leads them to talking about Goofy’s “death” in KH2 and now they’re talking about KH memes and jokes and Itaru just wanted to know if they had any thoughts on Luxord’s name.]
Vanitas vs Aqua:
Banri: *(possibly somewhat jokingly) insinuates Vanitas is as strong but probably stronger than Aqua*
Citron: *gasp* No!! He is not.
Banri: Really? Then how come he almost took Aqua out?
Citron[genuinely loves Vanitas]: He is a rat! He cannot beat Aqua in a fair fight!
Itaru: I believe he means brat.
Citron: No!! I mean rat, feral ferret child! Can only beat Aqua after biting her and giving her rabies! And even then, she still has at least a week to destroy him.
Itaru: lol that’s quite the metaphor.
Banri: I... *got lost* ???
Itaru: He’s saying Vanitas can only use dirty tricks to even get close to beating Aqua.
Banri: ???
Citron: If Vanitas could beat her he wouldn’t have to result to tricks like firing at Ven, which she was already off her A-game then mind you. But honestly, if Vanitas can’t even get close to beating Terra what hope does he have to actually beat Aqua. I can vouch that he can’t beat Terra. I beat the Terra v Xehanort and Vanitas battle by whacking Vanitas around. It was really easy. Vanitas has only beaten Ven in a fair fight. He’s not nearly as strong as Terra and Aqua. It’s demonstrated through their elements, really. Vanitas is fire...
Banri: *stressed, wasn’t expecting a whole lecture, looks to Itaru for help*
Itaru: *nodding along listening to what Citron has to say*
So yeah those are some of my headcanons involving KH and CitoIta (and Banri with minor Mankai mentions.) If anyone wants to do Taichi(who idk could play already, while I haven’t picked any out I know what type of moments would be his faves, I just can’t figure out yet if he prefers characters he relates to or characters he thinks are cool/want to be like) or Kumon (who I’d feel would want to start after seeing them enjoy it, bet Banri and Citron would have him play chronologically by timeline rather than release order “for science”) or any other characters, really, I’d gladly read it. I can see Taichi & Kumon playing KH but I don’t feel like I know them well enough to do this with them lol. I’m not even sure I know Banri well even to this with him but I attempted it lol. If there’s any questions about my decisions I might answer them, some are easier to put into words than others though. 
Anywho, I dunno how to end this post tbh. Ship CitoIta, Play Kingdom Hearts. idk. 
Thanks for reading all of my nonsense lol.
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chqnified · 2 years
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I want to leave this place
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kuiinncedes · 14 days
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bro
#i hate job apps lmao kinda in the trenches rn#i'm so idk so mixed feelings rn 💀#i think my self esteem when it comes to job apps is like fucking shot from career fair and job rejections and everything#my last interview was offered like a couple days before the interview and i just winged it and didn't rly prepare#and then after the interview realized i actually kinda like the company and would kinda wnat the job more than my lack of prep suggests LOL#but i applied for smth over the summer and they said they'd actually be interested in giving me an offer#but i committed to staying on campus for this yr (which i could've done stuff to get out of but i have dumb reasons for it ig)#but they just reached out and said they'd STILL be interested in offering me a job for summer 2025 start date#and it makes me fucking sad that i feel so weird abt it LMFAO i am happy abt it#but like literally this week has been so many rejections back to back bc i've been applying to things at my (old) college's career fair#and so many of them have already just immediately rejected me 💀#so a big part of me rn is like why the fuck would this company even still want me ya know#😀😀😀😀 i thnk i'll cry abt this at some point idk when tho 😀😀😀😀#also my mom keeps nagging me to apply for masters which i haven't actually looked into at all yet#i think esp bc she called me last night and was like no one's gonna give you a chance bc you only have bachelors#so you can't compete when theres masters and phd applicants too#which is true ig like i have just gotten flat out rejected without any interview or anything so many times#sooooo all of that adding up to me being like well i somehow tricked this company into still wanting me right#even tho i am literally doing nothing this yr i'm staying on campus bc i like it here#and i have a remote part time job and i'm figuring out what i want to do#jfc idk lmfao i'm also nervous abt telling my mom bc i feel like she just#ughhhgiuhdgfiwtglkdghfajs she can be very critical and judgmental ;-;#and i fele like she's been like that kind of a lot w job/masters conversations and i don't rly like talking to her abt it lmfao#when she called me yesterday she started nagging me abt job apps and not being picky abt stuff and i'm like#you have told me this 746598347 times i rly don't need to hear it again#i do appreciate and love my mom but i just rly don't like this lmfao#i think she'd be ok w it / happy i guess she did tell me to apply for this company at one point a while ago#i wanna scream lmfao#bro i wish tumblr would tell me when im RUNNING OUT OF TAGS rip some of this rambling i don't even remember what i said LOL#jeanne talks
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thebibliosphere · 11 months
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To be clear, unless staff trips over the trail of extension cords keeping the servers running, Tumblr likely isn't going anywhere any time soon.
What the info we've seen suggests is that updates are going to slow down, maintenance is maybe going to get a little shaky, and we're going to see more glitches as time goes on and the remaining staff gets further behind their workload.
Is this a good thing? No, absolutely not.
Should you be panicking, jumping overboard, running for the hills, etc? Also no.
So what does it mean?
Well, for myself and several other creatives you all saw tagged in that post, it means we're looking around trying to figure out what to do in the long run. We're not running for the lifeboats. We're just eyeing the iceberg in the distance and getting our shit together in the event that the worst comes to pass.
Speaking for myself, I intend to crawl through the walls of Tumblr until they pry me out of the air vents armed with a broom and oven mitts. I'm not going anywhere until the lights go out, and even then, I'll be chewing on the wires.
But that doesn't mean I'm not looking around for somewhere to land when the time comes.
Myself and several others are not panicking about this, but we are trying to be organized about it.
I'm just old enough to remember when fandom websites being nuked overnight was a very real thing. You'd go to bed one night and wake up the next day to find friends you'd known for years were just gone with no means of contacting them because the site you'd been using got wiped. Entire collections of fandom history were just destroyed in the blink of an eye.
We don't want that again. And the good news is, we have time. We have time to back up our shit, time to swap contact info with our friends, and time to find a new place to exist within our communities while also staying here because Tumblr ain't dead yet.
She's just slowly going to wind down over time.
Unless, of course, they trip over the cables. Then we're fucked.
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hellbatschilt · 11 months
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YW collab is coming back eventually so time to level up Blue Mage in preparation :'^)
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reshinless · 9 days
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Can you write kinich x reader smut
──── i w'na ride?!
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𝜗𝜚 synopsis. whatever position he wants >_o
𝜗𝜚 pairings. kinich x gn!afab!reader(?) see this however u want cuz in som of the bullets i use boobs or discreetly mention chests (kinich is also a lowk perv)
𝜗𝜚 director's notice. i'll explain why he'd like this trust me, !!nsfw content ahead!!
inspired by the moments where he kept hitting the pose where his hands behind his head plus the one scene where he sat in a tree with his hands behind his back (or maybe i'm imagining things.)
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kinich who reluctantly visits the beach(es) plus hot springs in the toyac springs region because mualani says you both need it, seeing as how much you both work beside each other, you'll definitely need a nice bath! especially the rumors of the heated conditions the springs seem to excrete.
kinich who no matter how long you and him have met each other, he'll never get used to seeing you in a bathing suit. even when you both were still kids fooling around on the beach with mualani. the atmosphere back then has almost never changed, walking along the sandy coast, feeling each little particle fall over your toes, the sun roughly about to set, the scenery was a sight to behold!
now that you both were older.. he would be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to you, your way of fighting, your appearance, how well you compliment him, it was almost like a corrupt addiction. even ajaw mentions how cheesy it is each time he sees kinich looking at you, whether it be lust or love in his green eyes.
mualani was overjoyed to hear that you've never gone out to swim, especially in the temperature she's usually in. kinich decides to tag along, totally not because he definitely wouldn't mind seeing you in different swimsuits/trunks.
kinich who you didn't mind letting him stay outside the changing room while you put on different suits while mualani actually help you choose (unlike someone who just kept ogling his eyes at you)
mualani who chose something that revealed more than appropriate portion of your skin (which was a lot, and imagine this similar to the one lumine wore!!), kinich who couldn't stop eyeing you up and down, ajaw teasing with digital sunglasses over his face; "y'know sunglasses help cover up what you're tryna look at!"
cue kinich smacking bro away again :pray:
you only got more attractive in his eyes. watching how you walk up to him, holding out a bottle of sunscreen to him, asking if he'd put some on your back before you'd go surfing on mualani's shark.
kinich didn't wanna admit but he was a little more than just turned on while spreading the lotion over your shoulders and back down to your back, his calloused hands feeling you up and down..
kinich who felt a little guilty but couldn't help but always slowly let his view dip down to your ass. shit he could already imagine what it'd look like without that last piece of clothing. too bad he can't rip it off you right here and now.
kinich who ran his hands around your chest, your sides, every curve that you wouldn't suspect him from.. he could already feel the tent in his pants rise.
kinich who couldn't resist looking at your pretty body through the blurriness of the water, almost forgetting to swim back up from being a little more than distracted. only coming back up after mualani mentions he's the winner of holding their breath underwater challenge.
a sigh of relief.. or maybe pleasure rather remembering yesterday on how close he got to be to you, palming his erection with hurriedness, thinking of how soft you felt under his fingers, only a thin layer of sunscreen that wouldn't make it weird between you both, kinich catches himself moan your name quietly in the changing room before he goes back out to you and mualani for day two of your summer break of 5 days in total.
sitting under the comfortable shade of an umbrella he brought, putting sunglasses on to rest for a bit before going in the water, or at least that is what it looks like. in all real reality, he was taking sneaky glances at you from less than appropriate angles, he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it.
kinich could barely hold himself back for the next 2 days, wherein you all toured around mualani's hometown (for the sixtieth time, but then again it never gets old seeing a different culture every now and then!)
on the last day of your adventures with mualani, she offers for you both to finally bask in the warmth of the hot springs! the natural wonder of her home! kinich was reluctant at first, but agreed seeing how you were just oh-so happy to oblige.
this time, mualani got you a different swimsuit, one muuuuuchhh more revealing this time. it's clear now that she knows kinich's little crush on you, and now she knew that you liked him back.
mualani who coincidentally forgot the milk, and silly snacks she baked earlier that morning, oh would you look at the time! i guess she has to go get them... kinich who lowkey panicks, he already is a little flustered from your new look (but manages to quickly cool himself down)
kinich who is gentle while letting you slowly dip your feet into the water, this wasn't his first time here but he knew it was yours, stepping into the water first while holding your palms softly.
you two finally both sit in the springs comfortably, right in front of him, talking about whatever you and mualani did while he sunbathed (under an umbrella). building sandcastles and such.
"ahhh... kinichhhh! you should've been there. i would've wanted you there at least, dunno about mualani-" it felt like almost immediately his trunks tightened.. maybe he got the wrong size?
oh but the sound of you verbally saying you needed him definitely is a huge turn on. well you didn't necessarily say 'need' but you definitely wanted him there, good enough.
kinich who already has you straddled on top of him, directly on his boner, fuck he could feel it already. his hands are already on your hips letting you grind over his erection, this felt better than he could've ever fantasized of!
kinich who lets you ride him, the water you both were already surrounded only made it sound all the more dirtier. it didn't help that the sly little smile on your face, all he could do was bury his face into an arm of his own, looking away from you.
kinich whose hands were in his hair, intertwining with every little strand, the flush on his face only worsened each time you bounced on it, he could barely make eye contact with you, not because he didn't want you.. ohh it was because he thinks if he did he'd come immediately!!
kinich who holds you close as his climax comes closer as well, holding you tight in his embrace, he could feel your warmth, your skin, your everything, all he could was quickly drift his calloused palms back down to your hips, making sure no drop of cum was waaaasssttteeedddd
you could see how good you made him feel, even with just a sneaky, yet lustful glance, yet plop plop plop is all you can hear echoing throughout the cave, your hands propped up on the wall as kinich pushed against your back, his grunts only getting louder, eager to please you. seeing how your eyebrows knotted
kinich who felt intoxicated as hell in your scent, almost breathless as his head fits into the empty slot right beside your collar, fire pooled down inside your abdomen as you slowly reached your peak, watching how beautifully your eyes rolled back, feeling warm semen shoot up in your stomach. holy shit were you a beauty to see.
the musky scent of sweat mixed with the warm water below you both, kinich could still feel you clench harshly on his cock, even after release, fixed & still processing what you both had just done.
kinich who brings you out the bath, wrapped in a towel, bridal style and all, before mualani can come back with the milk and snacks- "hey what is that white stuff mixed in the water- what did you two do?!"
kinich who holds your hand while you both stroll throughout the shops opened up at nighttime, the constellations in the sky connected like it was used to it, the fresh scent of grilled fish was clear in the air's aroma, filling everyone's noses, mualani couldn't just give all this fish just to you two anyway!
kinich who fully confessed his feelings to you, no sex no lust, just him wanting you to sense how much he's been longing for you, in hopes you'd reciprocate it. in which you did with open arms!
m: "aha! i knew it! you both finally told each other you like each other didn't you!!", k: "no need to shout.", y/n: "i suppose!"
mualani will stop teasing for now, and let you two be, just with each other as the stars reflect off the light you've shone into his life.
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kinda cringe might delete :100:
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rin-may-1103 · 4 months
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The Master Post.
someone asked for a master post so here we are.
Tag List? yes, there is a tag list. If you'd like to be Added, please leave a comment on the Stories Linked Post. If the tags aren't working for some reason, then you can either Follow this post by clicking the bell (or the three dots) or follow the Story's Post the same way. I'll update both Relevant Posts when there is a New Part.
Unfortunately, I can't keep up with all the people asking to be added to the tag list in all the different posts, so to make it easier, please follow the instructions above. if you don't I'll most likely miss your comment and therefore not add you to the tag list. (if you're not sure if you're tagged or not, you can check out the Tag List Here, please follow the instructions in the comments)
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
I hope y'all keep enjoying the stories as much as I enjoy writing them.
Stories and Summaries:
The Wrong Robin Au (DP x DC):
Tim Drake saw Danny do a quadruple somersault, which resulted in him believing Danny was the first Robin for years. He still figured out Bruce but thinks Dick is in the dark. Now with the second Robin dead, and Batman quickly reaching the end of his sanity, Tim takes it upon himself to get Robin to come back. Danny is very confused when this random kid tries to blackmail him into becoming Robin.
Badger Day Au (DP x DC):
Danny is stuck in a Groundhog Day kinda situation and he would like to be let out now, please. The league is very worried.
Delilah's language (DP x DC):
Bruce Wayne approaches the Fentons because Damian is a big fan of Danny for his work in the conservation of the purpleback gorilla. So now Danny is going to the birthday of this random kid so he can teach him gorilla sign language so he can talk to the purple-back gorilla as well.
Just a Bite (DP x DC):
Danny's homeless on the streets of Gotham, when he gets a terrible idea from some passerby. Three weeks after living with the Waynes, they still haven't noticed he's not supposed to be there.
72 hours (DP x DC):
During a battle with the rest of the league, John Constantine is accidentally sent into the palace of Pariah Dark, Tyrant of the Dead, and Bane of the Living. Danny just wanted to have a simple spa day.
Biggest Regret (DP x DC):
Danny Had been optimistic when he created The Email. Three days, that's what he gave himself. Three days to fix or get out of whatever problem he was dealing with and open his laptop to restart the timer. Three days. Past him had thought that If he ever got caught they'd just kill him; it's what they said they would do this whole time, so why wouldn't he think otherwise? It's been more than three days, and at this point, he's just glad someone could fulfill his last wish.
The Disappointment (DP x DC):
Ra's has stated his disapproval of one of the twins, now Talia is rushing to get them out of there and to Bruce to be safe. Danny has other ideas.
Black Retrievers and Golden Cats (DP x DC):
He remembered how it took two hours for his mind to catch up to what he had done, two hours for him to realize he had just killed his brother. It took another two days to realize his brother was never coming back, that the pits had not worked. Damian stared at the camera footage infront of him, his family's voices buzzing with theories and analyzing everything they could. He remembered his brother's bright carefree smile just minutes before Damian had killed him. So, why? Why was he seeing it again?
College Rivalry with the Genius Toddler in the First Row. (DP X DC):
Tim doesn't understand how he's losing at university to a toddler. Danny's not having a great time, but it's fine because now he can terrorize Red Robin.
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starlitscars · 10 days
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Made of ice
Jackson era! Joel Miller x F! Reader
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Summary: One stormy night in the safety of Wyoming, it occurs to Joel that even though life has turned his heart into a slab of ice, there's a soft, melting spot buried deep inside... Only reserved for you.
Word count: 5.2k
Masterlist
Tags/warnings: MDNI, NSFW, implied age gap, canon-typical violence, Joel Miller needs his own warning, protective! Joel, soft! Joel, angst, fluff, smut, finger sucking, fingering, pet names, praise kink, language, no use of y/n, soft dom! Joel, negative thoughts, dea*h wish, self-doubt, self-confidence issues, Joel is a sweetheart here (but he doesn't think he's worthy of peace), rain, lots of rain, lightning, stormy weather, kinda established relationship, let me know if a tag has gone unnoticed.
Author's note: This is my very first attempt at writing for Joel Miller. I've had the idea in my mind for a few weeks now and it's hard to resist when it comes to him (did I say Pedro Pascal?) So I hope the details are accurate and if you decide to read this one shot, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. If you want to be mutuals, I'll be more than glad <3
Divider by: saradika-graphics
Made of ice
You should've seen what you made of him.
The calm, slow beats in his chest are strikingly different from how he remembers them. In fact, he vaguely recalls the way those racing, dreadful patterns had carved themselves into his memory. With a rigid heart made of ice, it was nearly impossible to find the pulse in him, even at his most frightened, disappointed state. 
Joel used to walk into the face of danger with a rifle clutched in his dying grip, a life to save and thousands to destroy, and in all those moments any sign of life was nonexistent in him. There used to be rage, hatred, regret, and frustration... Oh lots of frustration, running through the veins in his body. He used to walk, talk, and breathe. But he wasn't alive.
Now he doesn't find it in himself to call it miracle. But somewhere between the lines, you happened. You happened and fuelled the dying fire in the far corner of his heart. He used to keep it empty and dark, like a deserted house with no furniture, a perfect place for the noises in his head to become loud and maybe help him stand the never-ending days of what everyone called life. 
You entered his life and now most of what he feels in these old veins is warmth, safety and attachment. Yes, he doesn't call it miracle, because his past doings are too  stained and unforgivable to deserve a miracle. To deserve you. The real miracle. The fathomable idea of what it feels to be alive.
Joel feels alive.
Some days, it feels like his wretched past is clawing its way back into his mind, calling those demons to end his days of peace with you. Some nights, he's restless... So terribly restless. What if you get injured on your next patrol? What if the Raiders attack you when you're out of the gates of Jackson? What if something bad happens to you the moment his eyes close? What if these damn what ifs come to life? This old mind tricks him into seeing pictures of what has never happened and probably never will. You always assure him that you'll be careful. He trusts you and your abilities, but he does not trust his fears. Because if life is too good, it scares him. 
It scares Joel Miller, way more than it would if he was trapped in a dark room with all of his fears and demons creeping on the cold hard floor towards him. He'd rather spend every day fighting off the Clickers and Raiders and every nasty threat out there, instead of pacing around the room and waiting to see if your patrols end well or not.
So he has no choice but to either convince Tommy to pick him as your patrol partner every damn time you have to do it – which he makes sure is as limited as possible – or occasionally keep an eye on you from a distance and let his thoughts consume him at the same time. Just like what he's doing now. 
His persistence in being close to you tends to earn him annoyed eye rolls and "She's more capable than that, Joel." comments from his brother... almost all the time. But he simply can't help it, and he thinks that you know it. Because you never complain nor haul him over the coals for his instincts and worries and the immense amount of care his rigid heart feels for you. He's silently thankful for that understanding.
You are safe here, he thinks. Even though he feels restless, his heartbeat has never been this calm. He sits and watches you on nights like this and there's only one thought ringing in his head. All the scolding is worth it. You're sprawled out peacefully on the bed. His bed. It must be straight out of a fucking impossible dream. You're here, in his atmosphere, in his menacing, guilty, dark presence... And you have chosen it knowingly. It's all he can ever ask for. 
The dim moonlight is swimming in through the curtains, casting a soft, silvery shadow over your face. Your hair is falling all around you like you're knowingly doing it... Posing for an artist just to paint this delicate beauty on a canva. 
Despite his bitter mood, a content smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. Tearing his gaze from you, he downs the remaining whiskey and silently places the empty glass on the table, deciding that he needs a short walk to free his troubled mind. One morning, Maria woke up and decided that Joel needs to stay behind and help Tommy in fixing the issues in the town's only library. So you should have another partner for your patrol days for god knows how long. He fucking hates being told what to do. He fought tooth and nail to prevent that, and if you weren't there to stop him, he would as well turn the mess hall into another ruin that needed to be fixed – which only meant more time away from you. 
So it's going to take only two weeks, at worst. Only a terrible fortnight before things go back to normal. It's almost unbelievable how you have managed to awaken a sense of normalcy in him that he hasn't known in decades. Your absence is an instant threat to this normal life.
Maybe it's about time he gets used to it. He's not that weak. He shouldn't let his angers and worries run him. More importantly, he shouldn't ruin your much needed sleep with his usual problems right now. You've still got the weekend. He'll take a walk and be back here before you as much as stir in your deep slumber.
Oh. The damn library.
...
Jackson is eerily quiet in the middle of the night, enveloped by darkness and as isolated as it can be in this corner of the world. It's a stark contrast to how busy the whole community is during the daylight – bustling with happy greetings, careless jokes, movie days, small parties, and lots of work to do. It all asks for social interaction and he deeply hates it.
He hates when every passer-by's attention turns to you every time you step out in the open. He hates how prying eyes rove up and down your frame every time you walk into the bar. He hates how... He shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes at the loudness of these thoughts. Joel has to remind himself that he is the one you hold onto and introduce to everyone in every social gathering. The proud gleam in your eyes always placates him. There's no need to break a jaw in this town... Perhaps.
Lights flicker by the porches and the sound of his boots on the ground is the only sound that disturbs the silence. The sky is clouding over, distantly promising another stormy night in its gloomy wake. Occasional flashes of lightning light up the road and before Joel knows it, he's passing by the Tipsy Bison. It's 3 past midnight, no wonder why its doors are locked and closed. Either way he comes to a halt, letting the gears turn in his head as he opts for a very familiar path.
Your house. It's a short walk away from the bar.
Joel still recalls that day. How long has it been? Five, six, seven months? It feels like yesterday to him.
He'd had a terrible conversation with Tommy, not at all the way he'd planned it on his first day in Jackson. Things got heated up pretty quickly, leaving a bitter taste of rejection lingering on his tongue, the burn of the whiskey only worsening his mood.
"Just because life stopped for you, doesn't mean it has to stop for me..."
The words were ringing in his head as he stormed out of the bar. Shrugging his jacket on, all he wanted was to walk as far away from that area as possible. This affronted, begrudging, irrational sting was boiling in him and in that moment he was more than ready to leave the gates of Jackson even if it called for more danger. Life had really ended for him years ago, but to hear it from Tommy right after the hell he'd went through to find him... It really hurt. 
The pain was resurfacing in rapid tides.
If his boots could dig deeper, get stuck in the snow and propel him into the cold biting blanket of the earth, he'd welcome it. If life had really ended for him, he had to make it make sense by ending himself as well. This... There was this distant melody echoing in the air and cutting through his troubles thoughts. The wind was harsh against his ears, and each step brought the melody closer. 
It really could be the last song that played before his funeral.  
Joel was surrounded by all the colors, and all he could see was white, eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't pay much attention as he bumped into someone. He barely lifted his head to apologize, and then his gaze settled on the crackling fire on the left side of the road. 
Red and orange and yellow hues. It was a fresh contrast. His eyes were hurting from all the white snow.
He came to a halt, mindlessly waving at the person he'd bumped into. A dozen of kids had gathered around the burning logs in a barrel on the porch, rubbing their hands together and listening to the same melody he was entranced by. The same melody that he thought would be his burial hymn.
Joel's eyes followed their excited faces, wondering who they were looking at. He saw you mirroring their hopeful gleams first, and then he registered the guitar on your lap. 
To make the matters worse, you had tilted your head, shooting him a funnily quizzical look. He might've looked weird back then. The town's newcomer, with a permanent scowl on his face, maybe plotting murder as well (considering that it was the main topic in all the words that already flew around about him).
He didn't answer, still dead in his tracks as if he was immobilized by some invisible force. So you shifted in your seat, silently offering him a spot among the children as if to say "You can come over and join us."
He had two choices in that moment, either a polite decline was on the table or a dismissive frown. He looked over his shoulder at the bar and finally opted for the third choice – or so his mind created another choice for him – and he nodded, joining in on your little gathering without as much as saying a word. He really wanted to hear that song.
He never asked whether you knew the words to that song, but that night when he lay in bed and his thoughts were far from the idea that he wanted to bury himself in the snow, he vaguely remembered the lyrics. And it hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.
Yeah, I don't want to hurt
There's so much in this world 
To make me bleed
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Stay with me
You're all I see
He wanted to ignore how the words affected him in the middle of the night. It was the first night he could feel some semblance of peace, not sleeping with an eye open in case someone attacked them. Ellie was safe in another room. So he really considered that. He considered the possibility of staying. He was relatively new to the community... And so damn unaccustomed to the whole arrangement. He almost woke up the next morning and started packing before he remembered where he was.
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Those words stuck with him.
And his first encounter with you was a harbinger of different things to come.
One day of patrolling with you led to another, one night of inviting you for a drink led to another. One peaceful afternoon in the stable led to another. One gloomy evening in the clinic did not lead to another. He was way too protective of you to let that happen again.
He truly feels lucky. You could be anywhere else, better off if you picked anyone other than this grumpy, old man. And yet you still want him. You silly girl. You've melted his heart with your warmth. 
But he's like a lake, deserted in the middle of a haunted forest and engulfed in coldness. Even though the center is warm and gooey, he keeps the surface frozen and rigid and menacing. Hard enough to keep his instincts sane and alarmed. Cold enough to let everyone know that you're his and he will not fucking share. 
Lightning strikes again in the sky.
He lifts himself up and off your front stairs with a heavy grunt. An hour has passed since he left for a walk. The clouds have fully gathered in the sky and he thinks that he should be by your side now.
Joel really cares little for the details, always asking Tommy and Ellie to spare him the explanation and get straight to the point. But with you, it's hard to forget a couple of things. One night, a few weeks ago, you were pulling him past the threshold of your house. So adorably drunk and inviting. He was still a little pissed by how the rainstorm had ruined your nightly walk. Despite your complaints about sharing a kiss in the rain, he'd dragged you back to the nearest shelter possible, because he just didn't want to get fucking soaked. Joel didn't find it romantic at all. He was frowning, still pinning you against the wall for a begrudgingly needy kiss. You giggled into his mouth, playful fingers pocking at his chest. "Come on Joel. Let yourself enjoy it... All these neverending drops on the roof, the fresh earthy scent that comes after it... It's just really beautiful. One of the few things that kept me sane before I came here..." 
He's not really against the idea. But the changing weather doesn't bode well with him. One day is sunny, and the next is rainy and it just goes to show how he has no power over the situation.
Hell. A part of Joel is really terrified of the changing weather. One day it was scorching hot, and the next his boots crunched against the white blankets of neverending snow, reprimanding him for his carelessness. Time would pass whether he wanted to or not. He is still terrified, wishing he could stretch the time he could spend with you. God knows he wants an eternity with you. 
He has seen enough rain for a lifetime. He hasn't seen you enough. How could he enjoy getting soaked in tiny drops of water when all he wanted was to bury his face in the crook of your neck and stay there for a while – maybe forever and a little more?
But he has considered it since then. If there are a few things that keep you happy and rainy days have to be one of them, he'll give you that. He'll get used to that. There's no pattern with the rainfall in here, and the weather forecast is pretty much nonexistent. He has promised himself to tell you whenever it rains, even though he despises the idea of you catching a cold after minutes or hours of dancing in the cold, letting droplets of water wash over you without a care in this wretched world. 
He also despises the idea of waking you up.
But he knows you'll like it. You careless, adorable girl. He lives to see that excited gleam in your eyes. Everytime you show it, this old heart pounds impatiently in his chest and it all feels like the first time it has happened.
He's back home in no time. 
So, kicking his boots off as silently as possible, he trudges over and settles down by the edge of the bed, suppressing a low groan. His knees still ache from all the never-ending effort he's put in repairing the library over the past few days. Jesus, he just wants it to be done as soon as possible. It feels like he's losing so much time when he's away from you. Now that you're still pretty much asleep in the same position he last saw you, all Joel wants is to lie down by your side and melt in your warm embrace instead of having to fight with his thoughts and the world to not take away yet another precious piece of him. He can't afford to even think about losing you.
Each flash of lightning illuminates the contours of your beautiful face and he can't help himself when he lifts a hand and lets his knuckles gently stroke your cheek. Your lips are parted ever so slightly and you look so innocent in your unconscious dream. He almost backs down, part of him hoping that it rains throughout the day, just so he doesn't guilt trip himself for the pout on your face if you miss it. You need to rest.
As if you sense his hesitation, you stir in bed and lean into his touch. A low hum escapes you, and Joel is too weak to deny himself the softness it brings. His wounded knuckles are soon replaced with a calloused thumb and he wonders what's so interesting about these hands that never ceases to catch your attention.
One night at the bar, Joel had caught you actually staring at them and when he teased you a little about it, you just shrugged and grinned mischievously. "I mean... I just like them so much. Your hands are always warm, and... and that's all."
He shrugged it off that night. Ellie had also considered it a flex for him to have warm hands even in the coldest days of winter, but with you and the way you looked at him... It was different. He knew it was more than that. 
And when the nights he shared with you went further than his sinful thoughts had planned, you showed him that it was more than that. It was more than the warmth you found there. If anything, your helpless whimpers were an indication of how capable and strong these hands were.
Heat blooms in his chest. It simply is endearing. The way you always seem to recognize his touch and send his head spiraling with the idea that you want him to do more. You've never been afraid of him. You've never pushed him away. You've never judged him for the horrible things he's done. Jesus, it should terrify him. Joel should've pushed you away at some point, because he knows you'd be better off without him, but how could he muster the strength to do so? Since that fateful moment on your porch, your presence keeps on inviting him for more. More than simply existing. And God, if you knew how he wants to do more than that every second of the day... Only if the world lets him breathe a little.
There's another bolt of lightning and raindrops finally begin to drum against the window pane.
Joel shakes his head to get rid of those worrisome ideas. Propping himself on one elbow, he leans over ever so slightly and lets his thumb trace its way to your chin, up to your jawline, and then back to the soft skin on your cheek. He draws circles over the blooming flush and then his thumb is traveling down to your lower lip. Your mouth parts just a little more, breathing even and content and if he gets a grip on himself, he may notice that there's a ghost of a smile in there as well.
"Baby..." He whispers softly, his gaze drifting all over your adorable face. You really are a piece of art, tangled in the sheets, in the safety of his house, and your innocent hums are doing something to him. Some obscene voice that silently pleads for more. More and more... Just to give you more. 
You stir a little more.
He leans over and places a gentle kiss on your forehead, the sweet, fruity scent he's come to like a lot about you engulfing his senses. He watches every little movement with amusement. "My sweet baby... You want to see what's waitin' for you outside."
"Joel," you mumble sleepily, voice drowsy and laced with a hint of confusion as you rub your eyes and stretch your arms before looking around the dark room with a quizzical expression on your face. It doesn't take long for the realization to hit you and the familiar gleam in your gaze makes him smile. You stare a him, wide-eyed. "is it- again?"
He chuckles and gestures at the window. "Yes, a heavy one at that."
Again, there's that hum of delight as you follow his gaze. The pitter-patter of the rain cheers you up like a lollipop would do to a child. It's maddeningly adorable.
You should be running to the backyard by now, but instead you stare at him for a while. It's his turn to be confused. Your smile gets broader by each passing second as your delicate hands trace his face and run over the salt and pepper patches of his beard. When you playfully ruffle his hair, your eyes are still droopy and dreamy and so damn kissable that he just can't help himself.
His other hand fondles with a loose strand of hair beside you on the pillow before twirling it between his fingers. You bite your lower lip and lift your head just enough for a brief peck on the tip of his nose. He chuckles, letting his fingers draw a line over the column of your neck, down to your chest, and at last they disappear beneath the sheets, settling comfortably on the warm expanse of your belly. 
Joel assumes that his presence is not too close to lock you in place, and yet not too loose to let you drift back into unconsciousness. You just have the perfect moment to escape. For goodness sake, rain is the one thing you choose over anything else. The thing you like a lot.
But you're still here, dazed eyes flickering all over his face and it just gives him a second thought. A new idea to test your patience. Seeing you still pinned under him and unmoving, was not really in his list when he decided to walk back home and wake you up. He chortles with amusement. If you want what he thinks you do, he could give you that... "Come on sweetheart, what's stoppin' you?"
His fingers drift lower, exploring the bare flesh of your thigh, right where his mouth was hours ago. Still as warm as he remembers, maybe a little bruised too. "It's all rainy outside. Ain't that what you wanted?"
"I know..." You mumble, an undertone of need sewn in your voice as you look down over the sheets that cover every movement of his hand. It's too dark for you to see anything anyway. He could easily toss the covers aside, but it's wickedly satisfying this way. "I'm- um, just feeling a little under the influence...and it's- uh, it's distracting."
His hand caresses its way to where he knows you need it the most, and you barely repress a shudder when his fingertips glide over your folds. But he barely feels you, a ghost of a touch hovering there as a smirk threatens to flicker at the corner of his mouth.
"Wonder if my hand's makin' a good influence or a bad one. What d'you say, baby?"
It pelts down steadily outside, but you don't seem to care the slightest about it. Neither does Joel. A low gasp emanates from you when his touch becomes proper, rubbing circles and spreading the slick over your clit as slow and unrushed as he physically can manage. You're still indecently wet after he'd brought you over the edge again and again before you dozed off... and the fact that some of his cum might be gathering in his hand is fueling his lewd thoughts.
You naughty girl.
"A very bad one, I see." He tuts, feeling your chest heaving up and down beneath him. It's easy to rile you up this way. Desperation is written in your expression... and he hasn't even started yet.
"She needs fixin', doesn't she?" Joel asks, bringing his movement to a sudden halt. You're too distracted by everything he does to form a coherent thought. He lifts an expectant brow, now actually waiting for an answer.
"Yes- yes Joel... need it so bad... so bad it hurts." You breathe, a helpless pout forming on your lips.
"I know baby. I know... Jus' lay down and let me take care of it, hm? How's that sound?" He demands again, but this time he doesn't give you a chance to respond as he pushes two fingers past your weeping hole, burying them knuckles deep within your warmth. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, eyelids heavy as you grasp his arm, squirming like a helpless, needy girl.
What a cruel man he is.
"Not off to a good start, angel. I know you can be more patient."
You nod quickly, biting your lip in an attempt to stop yourself from wriggling and twisting on the bed. For a split second, Joel considers pulling out to nuzzle his face between your legs and let the heat consume him. A perfect place to brave the cold, restless seasons. 
But his fingers aren't shy either. He starts with slow thrusts, effortlessly sliding in and out before picking up the pace. He makes you adjust to his rhythm, and when you let go and open up, the obscene moans and chocked out cries are all that fill the silence of the house. Jesus, he lives to hear them every day. He rewards you by curling his fingertips to hit that spot that makes you see stars.
You shudder particularly hard at that, more arousal pooling inside you and soaking his fingers. You're losing your grip with reality, and he can sende it as your legs begin to shake and your knee brushes over the denim of his jeans, but you still remember to abide by his "No squirming" rule.
You're so pliant and obedient in his hands that it does nothing but to spur Joel to give you more. And so he does.
"I like these sounds," He adds a third finger, tilting his head to whisper in your ear. "I dream about them all the time."
You whimper and tighten your hold around Joel's arm. When he feels that your orgasm is creeping impossibly close, his thumb joins and rubs rapid circles over your bundle of nerves and that's your undoing. You clench around him, walls tightening and squeezing his fingers deeper – if that's even possible – as waves of white-hot euphoria crash over your worn out body and take over your senses. Your back arches involuntarily into him. A sound between a groan and a curse escapes his throat.
"That's it. Atta girl... that's it, so fuckin' beautiful."
His touch is unrelenting as he talks you through it with a string of sweet nothings. 
Only when you come down and rest back on the bed he slowly pulls out. You're panting heavily, face flushed and heated and so effortlessly seductive that Joel is sure no fucking artist could ever capture it in words of a poem or colors of a painting. Joel is the only one to witness this moment and it swells his chest with pride. He wants to drink it in, let it run through his veins like never-ending liquor.
He lifts his hand, smirking as you gape at the way it's glistening under the dim light. You're in awe. He softly places the tips between your swollen lips and you waste no time in swirling your tongue around them, licking the slick off as if it's a delightful lollipop. And the hazy look on your face says that it's more than just a sweet treat.
His own breathing hitches when you open your mouth a little wider and take him fully in, sucking and humming and driving him absolutely crazy. He shakes his head slightly, catching the playful gleam in your gaze.
"Hm. Still a very bad influence."
When you're fully recovered and satisfied, Joel lifts you up in his arms and walks towards the backyard, chuckling at your confused expression. You give a squeal and wrap your hands around his neck to keep yourself steady, at the same time trying to gauge what his next plan would be. You really have forgotten about the rain, haven't you?
He comes to a halt, making sure the blanket he'd just picked off the bed is not leaving any part of your body uncovered. The rainstorm has eased off considerably over the past hour, but he doesn't want to risk it. Keeping you warm and safe in the cold is and will always be his top priority, no matter if his back or knees protest from how much they ache. Hell, he aches for you and that content smile on your face. Nothing beats it.
"My girl still wants to go out, hm?"
Your eyes flicker between him and the half-open door, filled with excitement and delight and a tiny flicker of doubt. "Yes Joel... but...you sure you want to join in?"
"I don't know," He feigns innocence, pretending to think for a short while before his face lights up with an idea. "Do I get a kiss for it?"
You laugh and lean up to press your lips into his in a soft, lingering kiss. It's so tender and reassuring that he has to pull back before changing his mind and taking you back to the bed.
"Then it's settled."
It has been settled for a long time.
Maybe he can get used to it. Maybe you get a better idea of what you've made of him with your presence at times when he easily complies with things that make you happy. A heart made of ice, molten enough to experience the world with you all over again. Even if he gets soaked in the rain, he's alright with it. You kiss him and all the discomfort is forgotten.
He should give it time and learn to breathe again. Learn to stay, to settle. To let you know that you're all he sees.
Yeah, I don't want to hurt
There's so much in this world 
To make me bleed
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Stay with me
You're all I see
The words are carved in his head. He chances a glance at the living room before walking past the door. Your guitar is placed on the couch. Maybe one day he'll bring himself to play his melodies for you too. He think that he's got a lot of time for it now. He wants an eternity with you, and in this wretched world, eternity lasts as long as you'll have him.
One, two... Ten droplets fall over him. He kisses you again, harder and longer. His ice-cold heart melts just a little more at your careless laughter. Just stay with me.
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killerpancakeburger · 4 months
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KNIGHT IN SHINING KHAKI
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Gif by @bastardcompany
SUMMARY: You've angered the wrong officer. You think you're a goner when Johnny sweeps in to save the day.
PAIRING: Soap x f!Reader ("her" is used to refer to reader once, that's it) (+ Reader's hair is long enough to grab)
TAGS: Civilian!Reader, Depressed!Reader, Insecure!Reader, Angry!Soap, Protective!Soap, GuardDog!Soap, canon violence, hurt/comfort, swearing, blood mention. Ghost makes an appearance as a matchmaker lol. The love is requited they're just insecure idiots. Making Shit Up for the Plot/military inaccuracies.
WORD COUNT: 2.7k
A/N: My original prompt for this was: civilian!reader sees Soap in action and gets Horny. No Scared Just Horny.
Then I found out that Soap canonically beat up an officer. I am also obsessed with this video.
Part 1. Part 3.
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This is it, you thought to yourself. 
This is how I die.
The day had unfolded like any other. Your shift was over and you were locking up your office, as usual. Your attention was focused on your hands’ motion, your guard dropped, your back exposed.
This explained why, when the stranger grabbed your hair and bashed your head against the door mercilessly, you didn’t see it coming in the slightest. The fact that you had zero combat experience while the person manhandling you was a decorated military officer obviously made matters worse, but at the moment of the assault, you didn’t know that.
The thud of the collision was eclipsed almost immediately by the pain exploding in your face. Half-stunned, all you could comprehend at the moment, every single signal sent by your brain was compacted in one word: suffering. Sharp, all-encompassing. You yelped, your hands vainly pushing against the cold, hard surface to get away.
“I've finally found you, you little snitch. Didn’t think you'd get away with it, now did you?”
Despite the blood thumping in your ears, and how groggy the hit on your head made you, his words reached you perfectly. They were seeping with fury and disdain. His voice didn’t ring a bell, so you tried to turn your head to glimpse him, if only at the corner of your eye, and he granted you some leeway to do so.
Perplexity filled you as you finally caught sight of your aggressor: you've never seen that man before.
“I don't even know who you are,” you winced.
Talking back in your situation would be judged stupid and reckless by a majority of people. Laying low assured more chances to avoid harm.
However most people hadn't been mugged at knifepoint like you had been, and most people valued their lives way more than you did.
Once the confusion and incredulity subsided, the pain still vivid but manageable, you were left with frustration and anger towards your interminable bad luck and the man behind you. His aversion was harder to take seriously when it seemed to have no foundation.
The grip on your hair tightened, making you grit your teeth.
“I'll refresh your memory, then.”
One part of you managed to be pleased to know that this mystery would be solved; the rest was ringing alarm bells when hearing the underlying threats in his tone.
“Weeks ago, you filed a report for embezzlement.”
You frowned, having no recollection of his claims, before a memory emerged. You saw them in flashes: the sudden, abnormally high spendings, the certificates full of anomalies, the incoherent dates; all this lead you to complete a reporting form, just as your job required you to. It was just a formality. You hadn't even even paid attention to the name attached to the expenses, therefore the officer was still anonymous.
Your aggressor scoffs menacingly, easily reading on your face that you remembered.
“They're gonna strip me of my rank and throw me in jail because of you. I'll make you pay even if it’s the last thing I do.”
That last sentence was finished in an almost shout, making you flinch, wishing you could pass through the door.
You quietly resigned yourself to your fate. No one was coming for you. You were no stranger to the inner workings of the military - no one would dare cross an officer that high-ranked for your sake. 
I've lived a good li- well, no. A pretty shitty life, actually. But at least I can say I did the right thing.
Just as you closed your eyes and braced yourself, hoping this wouldn’t drag on, a Scottish-accentuated roar resonated in the empty hall.
“Get yer hands off her-”
You had never heard Soap sound so enraged, nor his pitch so gravelly. Relief flooded through you at the sound of his voice, blended with gratitude. Tears stinged the corners of your eyes.
All of a sudden the unyielding grip on your hair was gone, the sound of something violently hitting the wall punctuating your newfound freedom. 
“-ye fucking bastard!”
You immediately turned around to see what was happening, leaning against the door behind you. Your legs were too shaky to be reliable. The harmed side of your face was throbbing in pain as you took in the scene with wide eyes.
Johnny had pinned the officer against the wall with one forearm across his chest. He dealt him a punch to the face powerful enough that the resulting thud made you grimace, despite not feeling any sympathy for his target.
He managed to administer a second blow before his adversary snapped out of his stupor, and the advantage he gained from taking him by surprise ran its course.
As your assailant defended himself with the strength of someone backed into a corner, you couldn't help but fear for Soap's safety for a moment. Despite knowing that one's rank didn’t reflect their fighting prowess, a rush of anxiety passed through you at the idea that he could lose that confrontation.
Nonetheless, he quickly put your mind at ease as his skills proved to be largely superior. The gap between the two was deep enough that it was obvious even to a neophyte like you.
Paralyzed, you couldn’t do anything but stare at the display of violence with a mix of morbid fascination and sadistic satisfaction. Honestly, if you could borrow Soap's body, you would without a doubt inflict the same treatment on that man. Maybe worse. Fair payback for the threats, the smashing of your face, the probable trauma you'd get from this. Maybe not that fair. But maybe for once you'd stop trying to act like a paragon of virtue.
You should have been scared, you realized. You had never been involved in a fight before. You had never witnessed firsthand the brutality Johnny was capable of, despite being aware of it, between his status as a soldier and the reports you read. The dog tags jingling from his neck and the khaki of his uniform were like so many visual reminders that he was a killing machine. His ferocious wrath, his yelling and his punches should have made you cower in fright.
However the only feeling inhabiting you was safety, as paradoxical as it sounded. Soap was safe, you were convinced of it, consciously or not.
This whole ordeal felt like it lasted an eternity and a minute at the same time. You blinked and out of nowhere, Johnny was straddling the officer on the floor. Blows kept pouring in but they were one-sided - the sergeant had gained the upper hand. The rhythm of his strikes seemed attuned to the beatings of your heart. Each resonated inside of your ears with your skull as their echo chamber. The noise was loud enough to cover your own thoughts.
As you focused on your breathing, you managed to slow down your heartbeats, and the blood-fueled pump between your ribs no longer felt like it could burst out of your chest at any moment. You failed however to contain the tremor in your hands.
You chose to focus on Soap's hands instead. They were soaked red from blood spilled, but not his. Specks of crimson sprinkled his hair, his face, his neck, his t-shirt.
There was a certain sort of lethal beauty to this brutal display that you couldn't help but contemplate in reverent silence: the way his bicep swole when he threw his arm back before hitting his target. The tightening of the muscles beneath the tanned skin of his arms. His icy stare. The harsh line of his jaw. His stern, inflexible expression, one he usually wore in meetings or after Price gave the order to leave.
The expression of someone who would stop at nothing, provided a bleak little voice in the back of your mind. The idea didn’t bother you nearly as much as it should have.
“Not gonna make him stop?”
The familiar grunt of Ghost's voice almost made you jump out of your skin. You pivoted and the behemoth of a lieutenant was there, in casual clothes, right by your side. You had no idea when he arrived or how long he's been standing there, quiet like a shadow.
Something dark flashed in his brown eyes as his gaze lingered on the hurt side of your face.
“Why would I show mercy to someone who would have granted me none?” you scoffed bitterly.
“Someone's bloodthirsty.”
“You're one to talk.”
“Didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
You turned your attention back to Soap and Ghost did the same.
“I doubt he would listen to me.”
“He would,” stated the masked man, with the assertiveness of someone announcing a conviction. 
“But if ya don't believe me…”
A beat, then.
“Oï, Johnny!”
The shout was nonchalant, like it was something he did often, calling off his sergeant from some prey like the Scotsman was his personal attack dog.
The effect was immediate.
Soap abruptly froze, blinking a couple times as if awakening from a trance. Then he perked up, and turned around, eyes searching. The first sound that left his lips was a call of your name. His gaze latched onto you and didn’t let go as he stood up and rushed towards you. The naked vulnerability, the raw openness in his voice and on his face were so earnest that they felt like a Cupid's arrow shot straight between your lungs. It left you devoid of speech and motion, so as Johnny reached for you, all you could do was try to convey your reassurances through your eyes; that you were mostly fine, and so grateful, but worried for him, that he made everything better-
His arms closing around you made the outside disappear, and suddenly the whole world came down to Johnny, and only him. His embrace was enjoyable for a second before the pressure of his body against your face woke up your contusions. You let out a muffled cry of pain and he released you immediately, swearing and apologizing. However his hands didn’t leave you, grasping your shoulders.
“C'mere hen, lemme have a look at ye.”
“Oh, I'm fine, you should worry about-”
Your voice pathetically died in your throat as he cupped your face, leaning over, way too close for your heart to not start stammering uncontrollably.
The combined attention of his fingertips on your skin and the turquoise of his eyes roaming your visage turned your cheeks into a blazing inferno.
Unable to maintain eye contact, your gaze wandered over his own injuries, a split lip and a couple of bruises.
Suddenly he grabbed your chin between his thumb and index, tilting your face one way and the other. Your skin flared up at the contact, pleasant yet nervous tingles scattering all over your body.
“Ye sure he didn’t hit ye on that side? Yer a wee bit red.”
You bit back a whine of complaint at that comment. He couldn’t be that oblivious.
“Yer makin’ it worse, Johnny.” sneaked Ghost, the amusement manifest in his voice - at least to you.
Soap looked up to him, frowning in incomprehension, indignant. 
“The hell ya on aboot L.T.? How am ah makin’ it worse?”
You panicked.
“Shut up Riley!” you hissed, in a desperate attempt to put a stop to his shenanigans, forgetting that you were supposed to be severely intimidated by the masked man.
That drew a gruff chuckle out of him. Your sudden outburst caused Johnny to release you.
“Not that I'm not glad to see you, but why are you two even here, anyway?”
You were kind of proud of your ability to change the subject.
“Was comin’ tae get ye fer a game,” smiled Soap, and it reminded you of a pet proudly presenting its owners with its findings.
“This one wasn’t coming back, and neither of you were answering your phones, so we figured somethin’ went wrong. And we were right. This poor fucker is wanted. Called in reinforcements to deal with him.”
Footsteps’ noises caught your attention. A group of soldiers in uniform seized your aggressor and brought him to his feet, before unceremoniously shoving him in the direction opposite of you.
“Gotta tell Gaz the game ain't happening tonight.”
By the time you took in what Ghost had said, and turned away from the procession, he had already disappeared.
“This isn’t over,” menaced the officer, passing by your spot as he was hauled away. “When I get out-”
“Shut the fuck up,” snarled Soap instantly, protectively positionning himself in front of you.
“Found yourself a faithful guard dog, uh?” the other man taunted.
One one hand, that last remark wasn’t so far from the truth - he had been acting a lot like that: barking threats, baring his teeths, standing between you and the menace, reducing a man to a bloody pulp for hitting you…
But on the other hand, letting that piece of shit talk to Johnny this way was simply out of the question.
Before thinking, you found yourself walking in front of the sergeant and retorting.
“What, jealous he's ten times the man you'll never be?”
Fortunately for you, he was dragged away before he could snap anything back. That didn’t prevent you from regretting your snarky comment immediately. It had been a purely impulsive urge, the kind that could make you feel heavy remorse for days, if not years. As if this seasoned combat expert needed your aid to defend himself. The idea was ludicrous.
You didn’t get a moment to mope around however, as Johnny proceeded to grab you by the hips and press you flush against him with a jubilant smirk. You couldn’t do much except prop yourself with both hands on his pectorals to avoid stumbling.
“My hero.” he praised like a smitten damsel in distress.
“Look who's talking.”
You lowered your gaze despite yourself, mumbling your reply, a half smile on your lips, embarrassed but amused.
“Going after bastards is mah job, not yours. You gutsy little thing.”
You refrained a sarcastic laughter at the nickname - gutsy and little were two things you have never been called, as far as you can remember. But you weren't about to argue with the man who just saved your sorry ass.
His fingers pressed into your flesh, sending tickles at the bottom of your spine.You were about to ask him to let you go, the position too incriminating for this public setting, when you noticed how dilated his pupils were. He had to be high on adrenaline from the fight.
You may have let yourself get lost in the blue pools of his eyes, until his expression turned grave.
“Ye sure yer good? Yer too calm about this. No need tae put oan a brave face fer me, aye?”
The genuine, serious concern in his eyes made the inside of your stomach twist.
“I'm good. You arrived just in time,” you assured.
How peculiar it felt to be the one to comfort Johnny, rather than the opposite; that the lionhearted, superhuman sergeant Mactavish might even need such a thing; that he might require it from you, of all people.
“He didn’t get to do much.”
His pretty features contorted into a scowl at the reminder of your attacker.
“That sonuvabitch… raising a hand on ye in broad fuckin’ daylight… if he ever touches ye again, I swear I’ll…”
As he kept fulminating against your assailant, you couldn’t stop an endeared smile from spreading on your lips. Listening to one of Soap's rants brightened your mood; it was familiar. The sincerity in his words and his tone was welcome. He wasn’t able to fake those emotions even if he wanted to; they spilled out of him like a waterfall. His honest worry and righteous ire towards someone who hurt you was… flattering, in a sense. It made you feel cared for, like you mattered.
Then red started dripping.
“Johnny… your nose is bleeding.”
He wiped it negligently with the back of his hand, only succeeding in smearing it over his face. You couldn’t hold back a snort.
“Bend over. It will stop faster.”
“Buy me dinner first.”
He punctuated his quip with a suggestive wriggle of his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes.
“Let's just go to medical already.” you grumbled, starting to walk decisively, albeit stiffly, in the right direction.
“Aye, aye,” acquiesced your savior, jogging a bit to catch up to you.
1K notes · View notes
highvern · 7 months
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Work Me Out
Pairing: Kim Mingyu x fem!reader
Genre: Smut, 18+
Warnings: working out, flirting, touching, almost car sex, making out, breast play, fingering, oral, face sitting, multiple sex positions, big dick mingyu, protected sex (gasp!), strength kink, dirty talk, choking, spanking :) lover boy gyu as always. let me know if i missed anything!
Length: ~5k
Note: y'all thought cheol rot was bad but the OG bias wrecker is back. dont come at me for gym terminology i go by vibes. replaced my gym crush with mingyu and this is what happened <3 i have a bonus/pt 2 in the drafts too but I'll wait to post it bc too much muscle pig mingyu is bad for the soul... and the [redacted]
to the anon that sent me a seok ask forever ago about his arms, im sorry i used it in this fic. but know i have a seok fic with exactly what you asked for in the works rn. everyone say thank you anon.
@bbychocolat do not hit my line about mingyu for at least 24 business hours i need to recover
Remember: Tumblr runs on reblogs and I run on validation in the tags and comments :)
read part II
read more here
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked!
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Figuring out the ins and outs of a new gym isn’t easy but it isn’t impossible. Go too early and you’re surrounded by creepy men old enough to be your grandfather. Right after work is a sure way to experience hoards of gym bros crowding around machines like they own them. 
So you go as late as possible. 
Only a handful of people are dispersed through the large space. A few run on the treadmills lined on the catwalk of the second floor, several switch through different weights in front of the mirrors. You make your way through the maze of equipment towards the leg press; your final sets before you can go home and wash away the grime of the day.
Or you would if someone wasn’t occupying the one machine you need.
Peeping your head around, you notice a black backpack and matching water bottle on the ground. You glance around, unable to find a clear owner since the next closest person is halfway across the gym doing a different exercise.
Would it be that rude to take the machine out from under someone if they’re not even using it? You could probably get in all your sets before the person even came back if you moved quickly.
You wait a few minutes. How embarrassing would it be to have the mystery person walk back up the second you sat down? But after five minutes pass and no one emerges to claim the spot, you set about changing the weights out.
And just when you slip into the seat, you look up and find someone approaching.
He’s tall, he’s handsome, and he’s barely ten feet away. Your saving grace is that he hasn’t spotted you yet thanks to his phone. 
But that doesn’t last long.
“Oh! Sorry! Were you using this machine?” You ask, trying to sound cordial. 
“It’s okay!” He smiles at you. “Do you need it?”
Yes.
“No, I can find something else to do.” 
You rise to do just that when he stops you with a shrug.
“I don’t mind sharing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I take long breaks between my sets anyway so it’s no big deal.”
So that’s where he went.
“Okay, thanks.”
“No problem.”
He moves to lean against the wall, face buried in his phone once again as you work through your set. Honestly you think he forgot you were even there until you start standing up and he pushes off his perch. 
Exchanging polite smiles, you skirt around him and snag your water bottle before occupying the same spot against the painted bricks. You try not to be a creep but watching the way the muscles in his legs bulge and coil with each rep is impossible to look away from. Especially when there’s just so much to look at.
He racks up twelve reps with ease and switches back off with you before wandering out of sight.
You work through two of your sets before he comes teetering back. 
“I tried putting it back to your weight.” You laugh, sipping from your water bottle.
“Three forty? Ouch.”
“What? Should I have made it lighter?”
“Try heavier. Like four hundred.”
“My sincerest apologies.” You mock, placing your hand over your heart. “I’ll remember that next time.”
He laughs again before slipping back into the seat and working through the motions.
This time you don’t bother hiding the way you watch him over your phone. He looks good, it’d be a waste not to watch the swell of his chest or the stretch of his thighs. The gym shorts and snug black t-shirt only exacerbate how cut his physique is. 
And if he makes a comment you can always twist your not so subtle gawking into a compliment about his form.
When he finishes his set again, he snags his bag and water bottle off the ground before turning to you. “All yours. Have a good night.”
“Yeah, you too.”
And he’s gone.
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Over the next few weeks, you learn mystery man works out at the same time you. He’s there when you arrive and remains when you leave after an hour and a half of sweating and gasping like a dying fish, only absent on Wednesdays when you manage the most last luster workouts of your life. The disappointment the first time you realized you were looking for the backwards cap sticking out amongst the free weights would have been embarrassing but what's wrong with a little eye candy while breaking a sweat? 
And what a great view he makes. Your brief peeks into the mirrored walls are full of nothing straining muscles and glowing skin. The first day he did arms in a cutoff tee will go down in history as the worst day of your life. Only rivaled by all the other days he works his legs in shorts accentuating just how nice his ass is with every squat.
Your friends all ask when you’re going to talk to him again. As if you’ll just walk right up and interrupt the best part of your day. No, you’d rather watch him move across the gym floor from the corner of your eye, throw him a friendly nod, and go about your business than run the risk of making things awkward.
Unfortunately, doesn’t possess the same desire to remain a friendly nameless face like you do.
His name is Mingyu. Or that’s what the employee with glasses calls him while they joke around one night. You don’t mean to eavesdrop but they’re loud and the only exit takes you right past the U-shaped desk. Mingyu throws a grin as you pass by on your way out and the flash of teeth spikes your heart rate higher than any exercise you’ve done that night.
When he officially introduces himself at the water fountain the next night, you have to bite the urge to tell him ‘I know.’ Instead you snort at his extended hand, providing your own name over the firm shake like you won’t be haunted by the feeling of the calluses on his fingers or the heat of his palm for the next week. 
What’s worse is how he says your name back, rolling the sound across his tongue and past his quirked lips. 
And the final nail in the coffin is when you leave and you see the way he turns in the glass doors to watch, bidding you a goodnight with your name signed at the end.
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Mingyu might be the worst gym crush in the world. Mostly because your thoughts of him extend beyond the brick walls he should only exist in. And partially because he’s caught you staring more times than you care to admit. 
Not as many times as you’ve caught him, but the point stands.
No, the worst part, you find out, is Mingyu is an incorrigible flirt. And he knows it.
Tonight you’re off schedule, runny nearly half an hour later than usual.; work clothes sticking to your skin as you make your way towards the off shooting hall housing the entrance to the locker rooms. In a rush, you step around another body only to end up in front of one much more familiar.
“There's my girl.” Mingyu smiles. “Thought you were skipping out on me.”
My girl. My girl. My girl, my girl, my girl….
There isn’t a thought in your head beyond the bold casualness he drops that bomb on you with so you nod awkwardly and force yourself not to sprint the next twenty feet to hide.
Half an hour later, when you catch him watching you in the mirror over his own weights, the bastard smiles like the cat who caught the canary. 
But you end up on top when Mingyu offers to spot you while doing weighted squats. He’s at your back, an appropriate amount of space between your bodies you wish he’d close. You don’t need his help. Your form is better than his (you would know, his ass and thighs give you tunnel vision when its his leg day). And the weight on the bar isn’t even enough to make you strain but why pass up on the offer? Especially with how Mingyu meets your eyes over your shoulder in the mirror with each dip.
And then he cheers ‘that’s my girl’ again when you re-rack the equipment with ease and it's over.
“Shit,” you grunt. 
Mingyu pops up from his perch between your breasts under your shirt, hair a mess and eyes glazed. “Good?”
“No, your steering wheel is in my back.” You wince, attempting to wiggle away and ending up further up his lap.
“Sorry, let me just…”
The seat flies back under your combined weight, throwing your forehead right into Mingyu’s chin.
“Fuck!” 
“Oh my god!” You gasp. “Are you okay?”
Mingyu’s head falls back as he releases a massive sigh. Each second that ticks by has you both coming to the same conclusion.
“Yeah,” you breath, sitting up. “I think this was a bad idea.”
“Oh…”
“I just mean like your car is small and you’re too big and I—“
The guffaw Mingyu tries to hide slips free too easily. “That’s what she said.”
“God, you’re gross.” 
Your nose crinkles as you rise up, using his chest for leverage. It feels as nice as it looks and its the worst knowledge you’ve gained in you life.
“Sticks and stones,” he hums.
“Well this was fun. I’ll ugh… see you around?”
When you try to shift back into the passenger seat to exit, Mingyu’s hands flex over your thighs to keep you in his lap. His sweats do nothing to hide his semi. Something he doesn’t even seem to consider as a concern given the way he unconsciously curls into you.
“Or we can go back to mine.”
He’s trying and failing to sound nonchalant. Like he won’t go home and fuck his fist in the shower with the echoes of your sighs filling his ears if you turn him down. You can see it in his eyes. What hinges on his offer and how much you’ll both regret it if the tension fizzles and dies in his SUV.
From where you’re sitting, it’s incredibly difficult to think with your head and not your hormones. Mingyu is hot, he’s nice, he seems decent enough. His behavior doesn’t hint at him being a creep. If he’s normal enough to fuck in his car, is he not normal enough to fuck in the comfort of a bed?
The thumb stroking your thighs and the hopeful eyes staring you down make the decision for you.
“Yeah, okay.” 
With his address in your phone’s GPS, you trail after his SUV in your own car. The roads are familiar because they’re the same roads you drive when you return to your apartment that turns out to be only three blocks closer to the gym than Mingyu’s. 
All this time he’d been so close and you never even realized. Did he think about you the same way you thought about him when he drove home? If he did, you’re in for a night.
Rolling into a space only a few down from where he parks, you pause to hype yourself up. 
People have sex all the time. It’s no big deal. I can do this. 
A knock at the window interrupts your spiral, finding Mingyu smiling sheepishly through the glass. The muscles in your chest squeeze when he opens the door and holds it for you to exit; and threaten to explode when his hand finds the small of your back and guides you towards the stairwell.
Footsteps echo down to the hall, Mingyu only a fraction ahead to lead the way to a non-descript door with a seasonal doormat that's seen better days.
“Ugh, this is it.” 
His apartment is shockingly clean for a guy your age. Not clean in the ‘I don’t own enough shit to even be dirty’ way. No, Mingyu’s apartment is cozy. There’s throw pillows and blankets on the couch. He has a lamp and bookshelf in the corner and the walls are adorned with a collage of artwork thoughtfully pieced together. Several personal photos are littered throughout, some with an obviously younger Mingyu propped next to what must be a sister or a cousin, a few of him with friends. One of him and a familiar man with glasses, their faces blurry but the glee clear as they’re frozen in time. Your lips lift with a soft smile at the personal touches bleeding into every corner of his space.
Turning over your shoulder you ask, “You and the guy at the gym are friends?” 
Mingyu’s watching you with something unidentifiable in his eyes, stepping forward to figure out which frame you're looking at until he’s only a foot behind you.
“Yeah, we went to the same middle school.”
“And this one?” You say, fingers tracing the edge of the wooden frame.
“My little sister.” Mingyu follows, still only a step behind.
“And I’m assuming these are your parents?”
“Actually those are Wonwoo’s parents.” He chuckles. “These are my parents.”
Mingyu’s arm reaches around to point at the correct photo, his chest brushing against your back.
“Wanna give me the tour?”
Mingyu manages to show you everything in five minutes. The living room and connected kitchen you’re already standing in, the door of the hall bathroom, and finally his bedroom. You take a seat on the edge of the bed, discovering the new smattering of details that uncover more about the man waiting with baited breath in the threshold. 
“Why are you over there?” You ask.
With arms crossed and shoulders up to his ears, Mingyu resembles a kid waiting to be scolded rather than a man who tried to hook up with you in his car less than thirty minutes ago.
“I’m nervous.”
You can’t stop the satisfaction from spreading to your face. “I make you nervous?”
Mingyu pushes off the door jam, shuffling forward until he’s standing a foot in front of you. “Yeah. I don’t really do stuff like this.”
“Stuff like what? Try and fuck girls in your car?”
“Haha.” Mingyu mocks, face descending until he rubs his nose with yours.
Your eyes slip closed when his do, breathing each other's air. “Stuff like what, Gyu?”
Your hands find the material of his shirt stretched across his shoulder. Each brush of his lips across your cheek, down your jaw, until he finds your ear.
“I don’t sleep around with girls I’m not dating.”
Oh.
“We don’t hav—”
“Which is not the best way to ask you out.”
You press him out of your space, far enough that you can look him in the eyes and see if he’s serious. The tips of Mingyu’s ears burn red but he’s looking right at you despite how embarrassed he clearly feels.
“You’re asking me on a date?”
“Ugh, yeah. I think it’d be fun. But you don’t have to! If you just wanna do this that's fine t—”
Whatever words Mingyu was trying to say fizzle on the tip of his tongue as you pull him into a kiss. He curls over you, pressing you further into his bed with every fervent pass. Wedging one hand under the small of your back, Mingyu lifts you up and carries you while he crawls to the center.
Your mind wanders to all the other ways he can manhandle you into the mattress.
He settles flat against you, hips cradled between your own while delving into your mouth. You fill your hands with his ass, dragging Mingyu’s covered cock against your core. A groan backs apart your lips as Mingyu falls into the curve of your neck. 
“This is a yes to the date by the way.” You pant now that he’s taken over, hands scratching up his back in an effort to get rid of his shirt. “In case that wasn’t clear.”
Mingyu’s clothes disappear over his head and across the room, yours following shortly after. The heat of bare skin on bare skin is better than anything until he takes one of your breasts in his palm and the other in his mouth. 
Every curse you know flies through your lips as he sucks and pinches until you're sore between the legs.
He takes the squeeze of your thighs and the rock of your hips as a greenlight, hands leading where his lips follow until it’s nothing but your panty clad core an inch from his face.
“This okay?” Mingyu asks in the fat of your thigh, tongue trailing fire across the skin.
You nod with a sigh, “Mingyu, please.”
He doesn’t need much more than that, the fabric barrier gone in a blink and his nose traces your folds until he’s dying for a taste.
Mingyu eats pussy like he doesn’t need oxygen. The path of his pointed tongue around your clit is nothing short of precise, meticulously tracing every ridge and curve until the sheets stretch under your fingers. When he flattens it to pay broader attention, your legs squeeze and Mingyu’s hands force them wide around his shoulders.
Your feet flatten on the bed and thrust up his mouth, wet and crude with fingers in his hair and your whines in his ears. Every suck of Mingyu’s mouth forces the muscles in your neck to lerch until they hurt and your head falls back. He takes pride in the way you drip for him, making the best mess he’s ever had the privilege to clean up.
You reward him with an lavishing praise at the next twitch of your insides, “Fuck, just like that.” 
Taking advantage of the slight arch in your spine, Mingyu’s hand sneaks under your back, fingers unforgiving as they dig into your ass. He curls your hips up and buries a finger in your core with mortifying ease.
Between your legs, Mingyu catches your eyes. Pupils blown wide, mouths bruised around stuttered breath. A matching set of debauched expressions. He’s more familiar like this; skin glowing with sweat, and hair matted to his forehead. Next time you see him at the gym you know it's all you’ll think about. Next time you're alone in your room, or the shower, or the grocery store. Or anywhere you’ve day dreamed about him before.
He leans back to watch the digit disappear, only to reappear soaking. “Feels good?”
“Give me another and it will.”
You savor the rhythm he sets, thick fingers working to prep you for what you felt under his shorts. His tongue is hard and wet at your clit, fingers stretching and spreading until your stomach dips and you nearly buck him off as your clit swells from abuse.  
Your fingers pluck at your nipples and Mingyu apparently likes to watch because he manages more enthusiasm, forces his finger to crook just the right way, and continues to suck even after you start screaming.
“Oh fuck, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!” You chant, voice cracked.
Something sounding suspiciously like a ‘thank you’ drops into the mix but Mingyu’s the only one to hear it. In his opinion, he should be the one doing the thanking; you just gave him enough spank bank material for the next six months.
You don’t dislike the taste of yourself on his tongue, his lips, his chin, his cheeks, and even his chest when you flip Mingyu over and aim to return the favor. He blushes when you lap against the hollow of his throat; embarrassed from the way he goes boneless with such simple affection.
He sinks into the plush of the mattress, propped up by the mountain of pillows at the headboard. Mingyu’s stomach stiffens under your tongue and the twitch blooms a smile on your face. Predictable.
“Sensitive?”
Your nails raking up the shape of his thighs turn the denial falling from his lips into a whine, and it makes you wonder what other sounds Mingyu will make with his cock in your mouth.
The vein bulging along the underside of his length gives your tongue something to trace along as you lap from base to flared tip, sucking down until it shines from spit and pre-cum. You take all you can until the curve of your throat protests.
Mingyu’s big and he’s loud.
“Oh God, shit.” He babbles with abandon, hands fisted at his sides until his knuckles turn pale.
You focus on the cock in your mouth rather than how pretty Mingyu’s chest would look covered in bite marks. How a bruise on his hip would be just visible when he reaches over his head to do pull ups, and red streaks from your nails on his bicep would make a great accessory.
A hand lands on the base of your skull, gentle until it's not. His thumb dips to stroke the bulge of his dick through your throat as you take him deeper. And like some ridiculous porno theres still an inch you’ll never be able to take even if you do nothing but let him fucking your mouth until the only thing you taste is cum.
“Fuuuuck,” Mingyu groans from a harsh suck on the upstroke.
He distracts you with his tongue on yours, keeping you from diving back down and destroying his ego from how quick you almost made him cum. Your one solace is the lazy grip you have on the base of Mingyu’s length, fingers tightening around the head while he cants into the squeeze.
You think Mingyu is going to plant you on his cock and make you ride it until one of you is crying. But he keeps pushing and pulling until you’re kneeling over his face, knees cushioned in the pillows and hands against the wall to steady you while he dives in again.
His head shakes back and forth, tongue out to swipe messily at your clit as you grind into his face. The last grip of sanity you have gives you the mind to reach back, jerking Mingyu off while he eats it, a cycle of moans moving through you; him into your folds when you squeeze from a grating pass off his tongue that has you whining to the ceiling fan.
“Shit, need you to fuck me.” You whine but don’t stop curling against the latch of his lips, legs stiff with ache.
It’s Mingyu who brings things to a halt, raising you away from his mouth until you're left on your knees while he stands to rummage in the drawer for a condom. You listen while the paint of the wall cools your forehead.
The hand at the dip of your spine makes you melt when he checks in, “Still okay?”
Nodding, you find him over your shoulder with a thick swallow. Mingyu’s nose follows the slope of your muscles, lips untying all the knots he’s worked into them over the past few weeks.
“Want it like this?”
“Yeah.”
You drop until your chest meets the bed and arch until it hurts just to put on a good show. Mingyu shuffles behind you, knocking your knees wider with his own, palms molding to your ass and spreading it apart to take a good look like he wasn’t tongue deep inside your pussy already. The room is nothing more than the sounds of grounding breaths; Mingyu watching the way your torso moves around the air, releasing a long exhale before moving closer.
The feel of his chest against yours was great, but the hard muscle of it along your back, his chain caught between and leaving a definitive mark, is life ruining. It shreds the last bit of humanity you’ve been clinging to since you dragged Mingyu to the parking lot and tried to stick your hands down his pants while leant against the passenger door.
No matter how well Mingyu stretched you for his cock it was never going to be enough. Taking the first inch nearly splits you in half. But you're soaked and needy; nothing short of the end of the world is going to keep you from getting the satisfaction of feeling him in your guts. You take it with measured breaths and affirmations to relax. Slow arches of his hips work him in until he’s flat with your ass and whispering absolute depravity into your ears.
“Fuck, you’re tight.”
Arching your ass higher, you whimper, “You’re huge.”
Your ass stings under his punishing hand, thrown forward by an involuntary buck of his hips.
“Don’t say that.”
You turn until you can look over your shoulder again, meeting wild eyes. “You feels so good.” You moan, eyelids low and wrecked.
“Didn’t—shit, think you’d have such a dirty mouth.” He bites into the side of your neck, sucking a bruise like a depraved teenager. 
“I knew you’d have a fat cock.”
You get what you want so easily it's almost insulting; Mingyu’s hand forcing your face into the sheets and his hips rushing into you with pure need. Every prod into your cunt has you wailing. It’d destroy your self respect if you could think of anything beyond how he’s ruining you for anyone else.
Pillows topple off the edge of the bed as you scramble for a hold. Anything to ground you against the burn in your veins with every tight squeeze around Mingyu’s cock. His balls slap against your clit teasingly, more degrading than the way he has you bent in half. 
“Harder,” you beg.
Mingyu falls back on his haunches, pulling you with him until you're sitting up right. His arm comes into view, curling around neck until your throat sits in the crux of his elbow and his hand latches on your shoulder; a crude headlock he uses as leverage to keep fucking into you. You’ve been choked but this is infinitely better. Whatever Mingyu wants to take from you, he’s in a position to do so.
“Gonna cum?” He nips into your earlobe.
His hand shoves its way between your legs, swipe roughly against your clit before you can even hope to answer.
A pathetic nod is all you manage thanks to the muscles gathered under your chin limiting your mobility.
Mingyu let's go then and your hands prevent a crash into the headboard, putting you back in the same position as before but you have to work for it now; ass bouncing in his laps as you ride him. Finding your balance, you drop one hand to your clit as Mingyu’s pinch your nipples.
“Let me have it, let me make you come." Mingyu pants into your spine. "Fuck you look so good like this, shit.”
He keeps rambling, flying with you towards the edge hand in hand; both breathless from the slap of your thighs against his.
“Mingyu, feel so good. Oh my god, oh my g—”
The softness of the pillows greets you once again while everything flashes white. Mingyu scrambles behind, fucking you into the mattress while you soak his cock. Muscles twitching, teeth ground till they crack, you come and come and come while begging him to do the same.
Mingyu gives in without hesitation, all his weight behind his hips as he fills the condom; dragging you back with an arm around your waist. Every jerk of his cock against your walls from the force makes you vibrate until he’s slipping out, soiled and used against the back of your thigh.
The last thing you register is his lips finding your shoulder again, rubbing back and forth as he comes down.
You fall asleep under the heat of his body for who knows how long, content in the mind shattering numbness of what just happened. Mingyu seems to feel the same, dead weight hanging half off you so you can at least manage to breath.
When you wake, whether it's twenty minutes or two hours later, Mingyu is snoring into the pillow, still naked. His lips pout in his sleep and you swallow the urge to shower them with kisses thanks to the drool at the corner of his mouth.
Even without the covers, you're warm. The kind of heat that slips over your skin, sinks into your bones and keens for you to fall asleep and stay. But Mingyu asked you on a date, not to spend the night. And you’d hate to assume and ruin whatever this is before it as a chance to start.
“Where are you going?” He pouts.
You don't make it two inches out of his arms before he’s pulling you back, tangling them around you so there's no chance of unnoticed escape. Mingyu digs his nose into your cheek and waits for an answer like he has all the time in the world.
Something tells you if he knew you were attempting to head home, Mingyu would throw a fit. And what use is that when you want to see what a night sleep with a giant human furnace is like?
“Bathroom.”
Adding to the list of information you’ve learned, Mingyu is a stage five clinger. He latches on to your back, guiding you into the shower stall for a quick spray down that leaves half your face, part of your thigh, and almost none of him clean.
He falls asleep against the base of your skull while brushing your teeth, because of course he has a stash of extra toothbrushes under the sink just in case. 
And when you crawl under the fresh sheets, he pulls you into his chest, leaves a kiss against your forehead, and tells you he can’t wait for your breakfast date tomorrow.
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