#i'm crying I can't believe i completed all 30 days

[hunterxmilo]

Kagakuro Month 2022 Day 30 (FREE DAY) (KISS)

Ever since they started dating, Kuroko has found it a lot easier to calm down his ferocious tiger through simple actions.

[yangbbokari]

OT8 SKZ making a bet on you - Hyung Line

Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader

Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU

Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities. I think that abt it

Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them

A.N: Not proof read at all and I had this idea pop up inside my head instead of actually finishing my ksm fic

Parts: Maknae line Part 2

BANG CHAN: You've always trusted Chan with every fiber in you so it was a little unexpected when you just so happened to overhear his phonecall. It wasn't as if you intended to listen to it. But how could you not when you knew he was talking about you.

You were walking by his home studio when you heard him call your name. Assuming that he was calling for you, you almost went in. But, when he continued to talk you figured he was on call. So you stood by the door waiting for him to say some nice words about you. Blushing and smiling in the process. But what you didn't expect to hear was,

"...yeah, I'm not even going to lie, toying with her was hella fun. I won the bet so pay up." You couldn't believe you ears. But you stood there just to see how things would esculate. All you needed was for him to say he loved you. Except, thats not what happened. He just chuckled. CHUCKLED!? "That's what I'm saying! She thinks I'm her protector or whatever. She gets so annoying sometimes and I can't stand it but-"

That was all you needed to hear before bolting out of the house. 7 years of trust, love and bonding down the drain because of some stupid bet. Or maybe you were the stupid one. Stupid for ever believing in his lies in the first place. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE MINHO You're currently locked up in a janitor's closet crying to yourself and thinking about how dumb you must've been. There was no warning signs. There was no subtle hints. There was nothing but a lethal bomb ticking off. Ticking off till you completely lost it all.

You thought prom was going to be the best night of your life. That was until you witnessed the most horrific sight.

Minho asked you out to prom during your lunch period unexpectedly. He was one of the most popular boys in school and you were well... a loner. He even offered to take you to dinner to convince you to go with him. But you agreed because this was the dream of like every girl in the school.

He picked you up at 6:30 sharp and drove you to the school. You could barely contain your excitement the entire time. The two of you walked in together but he refused to let you hold his hand. Let alone putting your arm around his. You brushed it off as, "he's not comfortable with it yet." But it was soon discovered that he didn't want to be seen with you at all.

You were enjoying your night but then you excused yourself to the bathroom. When you made it back to the dance floor, Minho was nowhere to be seen. So you went to search for him. You wish you hadn't done that. There he was, in the middle of the science lab, making out with the head of the cheer team. You held you breath as you stood still in the hallway. Still in shock to what you were witnessing. Not to mention what you were hearing.

Minho was saying it with his own mouth and it left you in disbelief. "So, I took that loner girl out to prom. Does that finally win me a chance with you? You know how long I've been waiting for you."

"Don't you think you'll break the poor girl's heart?"

"Oh c'mon! You said if I took that trashy loner to prom then you'd be more than willing to be mine. Please? You already kissed me so it has to count."

Loner girl? That's all you were in the eyes of other people. You should've known sooner. No popular jock would actually ask you to prom. No one would even talk to you. What were you thinking? So you made a run for it to a janitor's closet, making sure no one else was around and sat down, crying to your heart's content. Guess prom wasn't the best night of everyone's life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SEO CHANGBIN All you wanted was space. Space for a little while. Your heart wasn't ready to feel that and your brain wasn't ready to believe it. You didn't want to believe it. Did he even really love you all these years or were you just a mere joke to him and his friends?

You had just returned from work and saw Changbin sitting on the couch. You gave him the key to your apartment two months after you guys started dating. This marked your fifth month. Changbin was clearly nervous as he turned the rings on his finger and bounced his leg up and down. Slowly, you approached him. "H-hey, Baby. Everything alright?"

His eyes shot up to you and he was sweating from all the nervousness. "Uh, y/n, I didn't hear you coming in! I-I just wanted to talk about something with you. Something very serious." Changbin put on the best stern face he could. With a concerned face, you look at him. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. You were concerned but you wanted to hear him out first.

“Whatever I tell you, just remember that I love you very much and what’s coming out of my mouth right now is of the past. So… I actually started dating with you because… because..” He sighed heavily before continued. “…me and the members made a bet to see if I could make you mine and I agreed. B-but I really love y-”

You cut him off not wanting to hear anymore than you already did. “I think I need some space right now.”

“Baby, I- I said I need some space.”

Locking yourself in the bedroom to cry, clenching at the fabric in front of your heart. How could you fall to their game all this time? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HWANG HYUNJIN Movie night went wrong… you guess you could say.

The boys and you were settling down for a movie when you scrolled across “To All The Boys I Loved Before”, when Jisung began laughing.

“Yah! Do you guys remember when we made a bet to see who y/n would fall in love with first.” The chubby cheeked boy said. The rest of them laughed and went along with it until they noticed the silence between the both of you and Hyunjin.

“Wh-what!?” You stuttered out. Tears were streaming down your face by now. “WHAT!?” Confused was the perfect word to describe you in the situation. They all turned to you as Felix asked, “Did Hyunjin not tell you?”

Your head shook as you looked between Hyunjin and the other members. Back and forth, back and forth. You wanted to immediately tear your ears off. Open your head, take your brain out, and erase the horrible memories you had just gained.

Tears blinded your eyes as you ran out of the room and before you knew it, out the house. As you ran you could hear Hyunjin calling your name. But you were too grief-stricken to stop and look back. Maybe you should’ve never came here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you guys enjoyed. I had this on my mind for like a week and I had to write it down before I lost inspo😭 Lemme know if y’all want a part 2. Maknae line is coming soon though❤️

[sweetkpopmusings]

changbin coworker headcanons <3

a/n: i hate that it took me SO. LONG. to upload another coworker headcanons post :-((( i'm currently suffering in the office so thinking about giggly coworker!changbin is my saving grace <3 pics not mine~

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none really! some mentions of food | pairing: coworker!changbin x gn!reader | requests: open

it’s honestly hard to remember a time at work when you and changbin weren’t friends

changbin was always known for being good-natured, friendly, and an absolute joy to be around, which you were informed of on your first day

needless to say, people were quite jealous when you became the favorite of the most well-liked person in the office

changbin would argue that you’re the most liked though because he likes you so much, with all his heart, forever and ever 

he tells you this like every day :,-( just the cutest

speaking of changbin being cute

he is determined to turn any bad day around asap

like the second he sees the hint of a frown on your face, he is going full y/n-deserves-the-best-day-ever mode

he’ll do anything from impromptu girl group dance performances every time he walks by your desk to reading dozens of dad jokes off a random website to absolutely CHEESIN’ at you until you smile back

also totally is on his rich kid behavior when it comes to buying you snacks, drinks, trinkets, or anything else he thinks you need to get through the workday

any time you offer to pay him back he looks like he’s going to cry because “i just want to treat you!! you are my friend!! i can only survive the hours of the workday because you’re here!! the least i could do is buy you this thing!!”

“this thing” is like a five course meal on a wednesday but whatever you say changbin <33

even though he feels it’s his daily responsibility to make sure you’re working in a stress-free environment, good luck doing anything in peace

his voice is on max volume 97% of the time

and the other 3% his voice is on bass boosted whisper

if you sit next to him in a meeting, he WILL get you in trouble for disrupting the presentation

if you’re not talking to him, he’d whisper “y/n!!! why are you ignoring me???” and then your boss would call you both out for being disruptive and you’re sitting there like ???? i’ve been completely silent 

before you can say anything to defend yourself, changbin is apologizing and saying “we’ll never do it again” which is a total lie lmao

he doesn't care though. he sits next to you every time and will throw a fit if you run away

you’re his buddy so it's mandatory in his mind to sit with each other at all times

changbin also gets jealous of other coworkers hanging out with you

like someone asks you how your weekend went and he is in a tiff because "i can't believe you're replacing me with them!!!!!!” and you  barely remember their name but you spend 30 minutes cheering changbin up so he stops pouting and does his work

somehow you’ve become a changbin babysitter because really he’s just a goofy little kid

sometimes coworkers will ask you for tips on working with changbin

whenever he’s collaborating with others, he ends up (unintentionally) derailing brainstorms or group meetings by telling a story or making jokes that are the slightest bit related to the conversation at hand

and people love his charm but they also need to do their work

which is why, after you pass one one successful trick, people come to you ALL the time for advice

you’re now known as the changbin expert

changbin finds this out at a company party and while he confronts you for “exposing seo changbin trade secrets” he actually is SO endeared by the fact you’re known for knowing him so well

he shares this with all of his friends because he wants to brag yet again about how you’re the coolest person ever and therefore he is the luckiest person ever

while a lot of the time with changbin is all fun and games, he knows when to take a step back and bring you calm energy or serious moral support

it may not be his default state to refrain from giggling and dancing, changbin cares deeply about your wellbeing and will switch up his vibe according to your mood/needs

absolutely the BEST listener whenever you need to rant

like he books out a (soundproof) conference room so you can talk trash about a project or a person

and the whole time he is agreeing with you wholeheartedly 

if you ask, he’ll offer you solutions, but he’s also willing to simply be a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to whatever’s weighing on your mind

obviously, you thank him for it every time, and he reassures you that it’s just him doing his job

when you remind him of what his actual job is, he says he got promoted to “y/n’s emotional support coworker”

you laugh so hard at this that it becomes an inside joke between the two of you

for his birthday, you get him a nameplate for his desk with that job title, and he loves it so much he nearly cries :-( he shows it off to everyone for weeks and places it prominently on his desk to remind everyone who your #1 fan is :’-)

no one tells you this, but the truth is that, before you started working there, changbin never had the zoomies as often as he does now

for as much as he is known to be your support system, meeting you reinvigorated his presence in the workplace, and seeing you in the morning is enough to turn his mood completely around

that’s why, even on his worst days, changbin wants nothing more than to make you smile even if it means he has to scramble at the end of the day to finish the report that was due the next morning lol because you, without having to try, are changbin’s sunshine <3

[greyeyedmonster-18]

we meet again

(so @arliedraws created a slytherin!sirius universe in which james in an auror and sirius is a death eater (or is he??) and they have unfulfilled homoerotic urges for one another and i...came up with this idea, and it's been in my brain (and @impishtubist's SMS text messages for licherally months). It seemed that arlies most recent day of birth was an appropriate time to drop this. xoxo)

--

James's cheeks hurt from smiling so widely as two first-year aurors brought out a cake, lit with an abundance of candles that shot up into the air spelling out Happy Retirement Auror Potter! To complete the package, the cake was decorated as a tropical lagoon. Crystal blue waters, and yellow sprinkles on top to mimic a sunset. Sending James a final subliminal message to cash in his 30 years of unspent vacation time, aside from a few days here and there, and disappear into the tropics. Off the grid, off radar, off the cases. Officially.

Not that James was one who ever said I cannot wait to retire in passing--because he had loved every moment of his years in the aurors department. His first year in the training program, his first big raid, his promotion to Senior Auror, to Director of the Department and finally in his last year, the ultimate promotion of having the responsibility of training new aurors. He had put in the work, and he could leave the department and rest easy knowing everyone left behind would continue to do faithful and just work for the wizarding world. Including his son, Harry who, after years of telling James no I'm not coming into the department, I don't want to, I'm not following in your footsteps, shove off, Dad and trying a host of obscure occupations just to prove a point (most recently a shop clerk at Florean Flortescue) he finally confessed to James he had applied.

James tried to pretend he wasn't elated. Harry tried to pretend he wasn't equally as excited, both of them concealing smiles on Harry's first day in the department. Keeping it cool as the Potter Men were known to do.

"I can't believe you actually did it," Harry said, as cake was passed around, the retirement party in full swing. James was halfway through his slice, blue frosting magically enchanted to pool around the rim of his plate.

"Did you doubt it?"

"Yes," Harry stressed, alongside Moody and Sturgis Podmore, both chatting within earshot. Harry gave James a pointed look, as if to say see, it's not just me. "I thought you were going to delay it again just last week when you got all weepy about writing the report details for your last training class. 12 pages--"

"It's important to be thorough--"

"And that last one was damp, swear," Harry teased, and James shook his head cutting off another bite of cake.

"Oh, just you wait. You'll be crying at your desk too when the time comes," James told him, teeth tinted blue as he spoke, "and you'll look around and wonder where the time went and wish you could--"

Harry dropped his head to the side, closing his eyes and letting out a small snore, earning a loud laugh from Moody, before pretending to wake up, "Sorry? I must've fallen asleep while you were reminiscing."

"Reflecting," James corrected.

"Much more interested in our vacation--"

"Oh no, you're much too busy," James told him, letting out a low whistle, "I've seen that training curriculum and I don't think you'll have time for much of anything for the next few...years?" James shrugged, "Looks like I'll be seeing Santorini, and Turks and Caicos all by myself. Maybe I'll finally take your advice and," James paused to think for a moment, "What is it you've been telling me? Find--"

James sentence was cut off by the department doors opening, Kingsley Shacklebolt striding in, violet robes trailing behind him, jaw clenched and eyebrows close together. James couldn't help but laugh a little as Harry seemed to straighten up, putting his hands behind his back as the Minister of Magic made his way toward Moody and the other Senior Aurors in the room. James had known Kingsley for years--and by extension, Harry had known Kingsley for years, but everything seemed to shift when Kingsley went from Your Dads Friend with the Cool Tattoos and Earrings, to Minister of Magic and Effectively Your Boss. Harry cleared his throat and gave James a nod, before following the other younger aurors in looking extremely busy around the office. Suddenly papers were all too out of place, and there was much work to be done, when only moments before, they were playing a rousing game of napkin Quidditch.

"Sorry, Potter, this celebration may have to be cut short. Auror Bones just sent a patronus, and that burglary down at Diagon Alley might not be so simple after all," Shacklebolt said, dropping his voice lower, "The owner of the shop confessed to having some...untoward artifacts in the back, and you'll never guess what was taken."

"What kind of artifacts?" James asked.

"You're retired, Potter."

James looked at his watch, "I'm not retired for another two hours, now what kind of artifacts?"

"Reliquaries is how the owner described them. Heirlooms that have been passed down in his family for centuries...which means--"

"Layers of dark magic." Moody mumbled.

"That's not the important piece, I'm afraid," Kingsley continued, "The only reason the owner knew there had been a burglary was because the backdoor was left unlocked. I remember when I was a junior auror here...there was a series of home theft...shop theft...all of them with the back entry way left open and--"

"A note," James cut him off immediately, eyes wide as his heart pounded against his rib cage. He could feel a flush fall over his body, acid rising in his throat.

"Oh no," muttered Moody.

"What did the note say?" James asked again and Kingsley hesitated, sharing a glance with Moody.

"Potter, you're retiring, enjoy your--"

"What did the note say?" James asked again, this time loud enough to catch the attention of other members of the department.

"Finders keepers."

--

James's ears were ringing as he left the auror department, not even pausing after Kingsley had spoken the words on the note. Two single words, and suddenly James couldn't see straight. Couldn't think straight.

Finders keepers, finders keepers, finders keepers.

It didn't matter that James was set to retire in an hour and a half.

It didn't matter he had left a party in his honor. It also didn't matter that his lips were stained blue from cake, or that he had dinner plans with Harry after the party to celebrate, just the two of them. He threw open the door to his office, the walls now barren and the space void of any personal touches, and quickly went toward his filing cabinet.

This case, had been the only one James had be removed from. This case, had been the only one in thirty years that had just been marked closed with no real resolution. A series of home thefts over the course of three months, all seemingly connected, but they came up empty every time, eventually abandoning it. After three months, after James was removed from the case, not a single report.

Every time a burglary had been called in since, James read the file and poured over every detail, hoping for more information. For a reason to reopen the case. But none was ever found. James had the dates memorized. Pulling each report one by one, and opening them to the notes found at each scene.

Finders keepers.

He grabbed the files, shrinking them and shoving them into the pockets of his robes, wand in hand as he left his office once more, closing the door behind him. Moody, and Kingsley were already on their way down the hall, nearly chasing after James, urgency in their footsteps to stop him from doing something stupid.

"Potter!" Moody barked

"Evening, Alastor. I believe I have a party to be getting back to," James said simply, though sweat was dripping down his back, beading on the center of his forehead. He ran a hand through his greying hair, in a way he hoped was nonchalant and not in a way that looked dangerously suspicious.

"Potter, do I need to remind you, you were removed from this case and--"

"I'm retired, w-why in Merlins name would--don't be--no, I-I'm not, and there's no, it's a party! I'm having a great time, have a good night!" James gave them both a wave before resuming his brisk walk-run down the hallway, shoes squeaking on the tile floor, eager to get out of the department

He knew where to go.

He knew he shouldn't be going there.

But.

He had to.

There was a fireplace on the first floor of the Ministry of Magic for floo access. James approached the fireplace, thinking, briefly, that perhaps it was foolish to think that after all this time he might still have access--clearance-- to this location. He grasped a handful of floo powder anyway, closing his eyes as he stepped into the fireplace.

"NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE!"

--

The sitting room looked exactly as James remembered it.

Sort of.

The curtains had been changed. They were a deep yellow now instead of grey like they were the last time James was here. The carpet had been removed, and James stepped out of the fireplace onto cool hardwood floors.

The pristine black leather couch, and the gaudy chandelier were the same though. So were the end tables, and the armchair in the corner with a hand-embroidered throw pillow. James had laughed at it then, because a crook shouldn't have had something so dainty and delicate so proudly on display in their home. So distracted by the decor, the once familiar smells and sounds of Number 12, he didn't notice the man in the doorway.

"I have to admit, Potter, this is quite the surprise."

James jumped, hand immediately grasping the wand on the inside of his robes, attention turning toward the man in the doorway. Dress shirt rolled up to his elbows, not quite tucked into his trousers; dark hair cut shorter than the last time James saw him. 20 years ago. He was wearing house slippers, which shouldn't have been odd, considering they were indoors and among other names James could've called him, Sirius Black was far from a barbarian, and knew better than to wear shoes around the house. But the slippers were fur lined. And James had to stop the corners of his mouth from grinning--just as they had at the pillow.

All at once, James was in his thirties again. Not his fifties.

And he was staring at Sirius Black. Tall, dark, irritating, criminal , Sirius Black. Thoughts racing, with absolutely nothing to say. Tongue swollen in his mouth.

"I could have you arrested," Sirius remarked casually, tilting his head to the side. "I believe this is what people in your line of work call trespassing, isn't it?"

"Your floo let me in," James responded, sounding much younger, and much more petulant than he intended. It was always that way around Sirius. James had thought that years as an auror would put him in a better position to deal with Sirius Black and his quick tongue. That this time he would be ready, and James would be able to respond with ease and not stare and stammer as he did in the past.

He was wrong.

"Ah, so this is just poor manners? Or did I forget the moment I invited you to my home? Did we have dinner plans?"

"Well, no but--"

"No to poor manners? Or no I didn't forget?"

James rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, "We didn't have plans, Black. I'm not here for a chat--"

"But we have so much to catch up on. It's been ages-- how's your son?"

"Cut the shit, Black. I know you were behind the burglary down in Diagon Alley."

Sirius gasped, pressing his hand to his chest, looking surprised and affronted by James's accusation, "Me? But I've been at home all day. Baking. Would you like a slice of rhubarb, Potter?" Sirius gestured with his head, turning around to walk back through the doorway and down the hall of Grimmauld Place.

James followed.

"Well, don't stand there, you can have a seat. Make yourself at home," Sirius gestured to the kitchen table. Fresh flowers in the center. James took a seat, watching as Sirius waved his wand to begin slicing a pie on the counter, all the while smirking at James with his arms folded across his chest. "Do you still take your tea with cream?"

"No!" James objected, "I mean, I do but don't offer me tea, I'm here--"

"Yes, yes, very official auror business, I remember. Just because you have poor manners and show up unannounced to people's homes--"

"I don't!"

"--doesn't mean that I do, and you're a guest in my home, so I am going to offer you tea. Do you still take it with cream?"

"Yes...thank you," James said, watching as Sirius poured two cups of tea, sending them over to the table, along with the pie before joining James.

Black still had that same damn smile. Not a grey hair in sight, though had more creases under his eyes.

"Thank you," James repeated, looking down at the pie in front of him, something clicking in his brain. "Why...why do you have this pie?"

Sirius smiled slowly. "Why not?"

"Why do you have a rhubarb pie, Black?"

"Well, since you asked. A little birdie told me you were retiring from the auror department and...I just thought I'd...prepare for the occasion. It's your favorite, isn't it?"

[mncxbe]

Hihi!! I'm not sure if my request already went it, I sent it without wifi but incase it didn't id like to request a fic where reader comforts aku after a rough day and he starts crying and about not being good enough for her!! love your work 💗

thank you so so much nonnie and this is so hhhh I loved writing this😳😳 I hope you like it too♡♡

°☆○

Kiss my tears away♡

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎! 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: light angst/ comfort♡.

It was around 12:30 when the thud of the front door closing woke you up from your slumber. You turned your head to the side and watched as your boyfriend quietly stepped into the bedroom and started undressing; a foggy, shadowy figure observed by your sleepy eyes.

"Hey Ryuu. How was today?" you inquired, voice dripping with langour but he gave no answer. He simply lay in bed beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist to bring you closer to him.

"Ryuu dear can you~" you began again but were immediately cut off by the sound of heavy sobs. Akutagawa's hot breath dripped down your neck as he buried his face in your hair, chest heaving against your back.

"Ryuu baby what's wrong?" you asked again in a concerned voice, reaching a hand to turn on the lamp on your nightstand but he quickly seized your arm.

"Don't, please". His voice was weak, a mere shaky mumble "I don't want you to see me like this."

Sighing softly, you turned to face him; you couldn't clearly make out his features in the darkness but you noticed the faint quiver of his lower lip, the light furrow of his brows.

Without a word, Akutagawa shifted closer to you and leaned his head on your chest, pearly tears tracing their way onto your heated skin. On cue, you slid your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to you. His muffled sobs echoed through the gloom of the bedroom, your heart twisting in a helpless knot.

"Hey..." you began, gently threading your fingers through his dark tufts "What's wrong? Did something bad happened at work?"

Without raising his head from your chest, Akutagawa started rambling on about how burnt out he felt, about the mission Dazai assigned him today. You knew how desperate your boyfriend was to gain his former mentor's respect and appreciation, the lengths he'd go to just for a simple "good job, Akuatagwa" and a pat on your shoulder.

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I gave it all I got and it's still not enough, never enough." His nails dug painfully into your hips, as if he were trying to crawl under your skin, to find a safe space far away from all the doubt and pain. "I feel like a fucking joke. How can you even love someone like me? How can I be good enough for you when I can't even-" Akutagawa's breath became erratic, words getting stuck in his aching throat.

You gently traced your nails along his scalp, fumbling for words. Truth was, you'd never seen him like this before, so torn by his own emotions, so vulnerable and you were afraid to say the wrong thing.

"Ryuu, my dear, you're not a joke. You work really hard and I'm so, so proud of you for what you've accomplished. If Dazai doesn't want to acknowledge you that's his problem, not yours." A choked sob left his throat at the sound of your words and you softly shushed him, scooting lower under the crunchy covers so that you were face to face with him.

Lovingly cupping his face with your hands, you traced your thumb over his cheekbone, wiping away his tears. "You're so amazing Ryuu, even if you don't always believe that. I love you so much" Your lips pressed feathery kisses all over his face as you held him closely; his fierce grip on your hips slowly growing weaker.

Your saccharine affections lulled him into a hazy state, as if his brain had shut down completely. there were no more thoughts, no more doubts and worries, only you- his loving partner, soothing him the best way you could. The tip of your nose brushed against his and you finally kissed his lips, a sweet, tender kiss that conveyed all the love you had for him.

"You're very dear to me, baby. I hate seeing you like this" you whisper against his mouth, words spilling from your lips to his as he weakly returned the kiss.

By this point a warm, mellow weariness took over his body and he felt his eyes slowly closing. His arm grew limp, draping over your hipbone and he leaned his forehead against yours; his breath steadying by the minute. He truly couldn't recall the last time someone has made him feel so worthy and taken care of.

Loving, sugar sweet words and praises kept rolling past your lips, completely replacing his dark thoughts with bliss. In that moment, Akutagawa knew all his worries about you were pointless. He uttered a low "thank you dear" before losing consciousness, forcefully put to sleep by sheer exhaustion; but even after he fell asleep you refused to let go of him. You continued your ministrations, tucking a strand of wild hair behind his ear and kissing his cheek.

"Anytime dear, anytime."

[decadeduo]

Helloooo welcome, call me Decade or Impostor or just about anything you want! This blog is for a Ask Goldie Anything au I've been working on ever since I found the now discontinued comic back in 2019!

I have ADHD and multiple other projects, so if I'm quiet for a bit feel free to poke me because I probably just forgot to update the blog. I also have a tendency to over-explain, so if you have trouble with reading long blocks of text then the colored text is there to highlight the important stuff! I believe you can only read the colored text and still understand the post, if I did it correctly. I'm sorry for people that struggle to read with colored text, but uh, I'm sure this paragraph alone shows how much I yap vs how much information is useful - it's kinda necessary. Alt descriptions of images are also available for all of the important posts, usually with some side notes about making said drawing or giving some context.

dms and asks are always open! This au only relies on asks about 30% of the time, but I'll always answer asks 100% of time (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) that number will change as we get further into the story, mostly the introductory act and the last act is gonna need asks, as well as asks in-between each act to pass in universe time :]

In order to hold myself accountable and actually keep. Working on this thing, as well as to let everyone know I'm not dead, where am I currently in making this au?

Plot: it's been complete for 2 or 3 years and atp im making DLC for it whenever im bored, right now I'm aiming to complete the story with 4 - 6 Acts (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

Timeline of said plot: it's roughly laid out, and I'm currently working on fixing any plot holes [since originally this au was more like 14-17 segmented scenarios I've stitched together]

The actual comic: I'm currently working on the first comic pages! I'm also working on the cover art for each act, and after the first page is posted I'll work on asks (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

More info below!

What is this au about you may ask, so far I've said nothing about it you say? basically I looked at aga, and then looked at actual FNaF lore with the crying child and Cassidy possessing golden Freddy and decided the more ghosts the merrier. When Evan died, he started possessing Goldie, and gave him the ability to float, teleport, etc. Goldie can also exit the suit and be a ghost at any time, but he tends to stay inside unless he needs to be alone or do something that Evan can't.

If you send me any asks that are non-canon or spoilery, I'll just redirect you to my main account @impostorsshow and answer it there anyway. No asks will go unanswered [like said dlc I mentioned (⁠?⁠・⁠・⁠)⁠σ I might post about said non-canon stuff unprompted since I like my phasmophobia and shadow Bonnie au alot] Also I just like yapping so if you go to #fnaf ranch dip on my main account, you can find some old posts about this au (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)

Every time I edit this post I try to trim it down and make it less wordy and fail horribly. It'll get better one day. Maybe. Anyway here's some extra stuff <3

Bonnie: why does he always do weird stuff....

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad 2nd Gen WIPS!

started on a little something something because I can't afford therapy to fix what s3 caused so-

Silly Squad families 10 years or so into the future :)

Find out more about the 'Silly Squad' here!

Star Wars said, "oh no sorry, the interracial poc couple can't be together" so I said fuck that!!! and made all of them poc/inter-species couples with mixed kids!! no i'm not biased at all.

Also, let's pretend that the clone aging thing isn't a,,, isn't a thing because 1) too much math and 2) too much angst potential.

Though it is funny to think about the clones with their fast aging and then their partners are all notoriously slow aging people ("black don't crack" and "asian don't raisin" sort of deal). You got this super old dude and then you look at their partner and they don't look a day over like 30.

No, I didn't cry while drawing this what the fuck are you talking about? Aha,, aha...ha...

Additional info about the families under the cut!

Starburst Family!

ok so since I've had Khea the longest, her family is the most thought out at this point

In order, from top, left to right: Itri (14/15), Marama 'Mara', Maia 'Mai' (both 10, 23 min apart), and Elio Nultez (7)

I made a post about them earlier so for more detailed info on their kids you can find it here!

Khea found Itri when she was about 4/5 years old and decided to take her in as a Foundling (she's also trans)

When Khea brought Itri back and showed her to Wrecker he was in complete shock (he thought she was Khea's biological daughter) but immediately took to the role as being a dad

Twins were an accident (oops) and an absolute handful but Khea and Wrecker wouldn't have it any other way

I saw a lot of people say that Wrecker would have a lot of kids and I agree, he's be a great dad (and he is!)

But pair that up with a Mandalorian wife? I'm sure both of them would adopt any and all kids that come their way

Not pictured is the twenty-something pets that their kids have adopted over the years - they could have a farm at this point

Sharpshooters Family!

I don't know where the idea came from but one day it randomly hit me how I wanted their family to be - but essentially after finishing s3 I knew Cross was just a girl dad through and through so I gave him a daughter

That's Akona and she's half Nautolan and half Pantoran! Oh and a HUGE menace!

Akon is eight and Cross found her when she was six

Since Pantorans have the yellow tattoos to mark their clans, Akona and Tay both got tattoos to represent Crosshair's, well, Crosshair tattoo since they're their own little clan

Tay also capped off his lethorns to prevent Akon from hurting herself and getting poked because she loves to climb all over him

Idk how they came across her but I'm thinking Cross decided to go out on a mission with Echo just this once and found her (and Tay was probably sick at home or something, idk)

Tay was super unsure about it (he's terrible with kids) but Crosshair assured him that things would be fine

And things are fine and better than ever :)

Scompscope Family!

I don't have names for these kiddos yet but I know I want them to be in tribute to Fives and Hevy!

So like,, I know technically Echo probably can't have kids and originally I was going to have them just adopt some clone cadets or something but uh,, me being biased I wanted biracial kids so-

BOOM! He can have kids in this AU.

They probably took some time to decide on the decision to have kids though since Echo and Viram are both dedicated to the cause of helping clones but eventually they do decide to settle down

Like all the Sec Gen kids, these two are absolute trouble makers and never back down from a challenge

They're a little less than a year apart, but they're 8 and 7!

TechPhee Family!

wow, I can't believe that this is actually canon guys!!! :D Isn't that amazing????

Anyways, Techphee kids don't have names yet but I am open to suggestions!!

Also,, these kids are an absolute THREAT. They're smart as hell, they're witty, they can fly a plane like it's nobody's fucking business, they're skilled with pistols and a vibroblade, there is NOTHING these kids can't do.

Except have 20/20 vision. Whomp whomp.

Hey, nobody is perfect.

Daughter is far-sighted and son is near-sighted!

Daughter is 11 and son is 8!

Guardians Family!

not pictured is the ten to twenty other kids that Hunter and Jung have adopted over the years

the super lovely and wonderful @taraneen and I were talking about this timeskip and she mentioned that she thinks that Hunter would eventually go back and adopt some kids after Omega leaves and I couldn't agree more

Him and Jung probably run some kind of orphanage or something where they talk in kids and if they so happen to be Force-sensitive, Jung helps them out with it

Look at these three, they're like,,, having a "who can grow out their hair the longest?" competition (Jung is winning)

Of course Omega loves all her new cousins and siblings as well :)

Omega is around 24 years old here so she's also like a big sister to all of them and they all look up to her and admire her deeply

[drdemonprince]

Probably a trivial question during a shitty time globally, but I'm going a bit crazy trying to figure this out and need help.

For some reason, people cancel last-minute alarmingly frequently when I host gatherings on days that are extremely important to me. I am talking mainly about my birthday and that of my partner but also a huge milestone graduation do last year was a nightmare as well. Neither I nor my partner have any meaningful relationships with our families anymore due to political differences and rely on our friends for the sense of home and belonging most people get from families.

Except this is a bit of a wasteland, as I struggle to form and maintain close friendships because of how unreliable and disappointing people have been for a while. This is not an individual (although there are a couple of people who I know will cancel every time) but a pattern. Someone will forget to book the right train ticket, another will only lurk on the event group chat and then comment for the first time before the event to say no. One person memorably just said they wanted to keep the option of a weekend gateway open so they could only come to my graduation party if they decided not to do that. Am I missing something here? Is this normal? I need consistency and dependability to feel safe and I feel like people I'd normally choose as friends (witty, nerdy interests, progressive) turn out to be incredibly bad at showing up for me when I need them. A friend I thought was close went completely mum after I graduated and didn't congratulate me at all - after having discussed the degree and its struggles with me for 2 years. Part of me feels like I need to rebuild my circle from scratch and maybe find people I can talk to honestly about my needs from the beginning of the friendship. But it feels so late and desolate to start this process in my mid-thirties. Everyone else has friends they grew up with and who know everything about their lives. Meanwhile, I am at the stage where I have no close friends at all anymore because my needs seem too absurd to even discuss with anyone except my partner, and if I do, I just lose friendships. I remember reading your piece on how to do social things as an autistic person last year and feeling very inspired so I thought I'd reach out to you.

This is all exceedingly, exceedingly normal, especially in the days post COVID for a variety of reasons. When I make plans with people, I assume that roughly 30-75% of the people invited are not going to show up, and I've completely made my peace with that. A friend of mine hosted a movie night a few weeks back, invited I believe around 15 people, and ultimately four showed up, many people being last-minute cancellations or total no shows.

This happens for a variety of reasons. Many people are very socially anxious and decide at the last minute they don't have it in them to show up because they're freaking out. Other people say yes when the event is days or weeks down the line, wanting in the abstract to be there, but then on the actual day of the event, practical daily life constraints are far more visible than they were when the event was just an idea, and so then they have to bail. Other people feel really bad saying no, and so they wait for the last minute to share that they can't make it. And lots of people are so bombarded with notifications on a variety of social media sites and chatting platforms that they just forget all that they've committed to. And then you add into that random illness, flat tires, crying kids, and the like, and you have a lot of reasons why people don't show up to things.

Personally, I have come to accept this. If I go into event planning assuming most people can't make it, my feelings aren't hurt. Every person who does show up is a gift. My invites are an opportunity, a true invitation, not an obligation or an expectation. I don't hurt my feelings in advance by telling myself that I need a high turnout for my birthday or that because I've worked hard making a certain dish for a party (I never actually do that admittedly lol) that a lot of people need to come and eat it.

And I invite people that I like and want to see, over and over again, because I care about them, and I want to show them that I care about them and that I understand they have other things going on and I am not offended that life got in the way for them. I want them to feel loved and included, even if they can't make it. Even the gesture of inviting a person to an event and them showing some interest is a meaningful act of maintaining social connections, for me. And so if they can't make it on the day of, that's fine by me.

I'm 35. My friends are anywhere from 21 to 60-something. People cancel events because of sick kids, broken down cars, long work weeks, depression, double-bookings, writing deadlines, social anxiety, busted ankles, not wanting to see one person they're currently having a difficult situation with, and any number of other factors. If you love people long enough, they get really complicated and their lives get really hard. I find that the most beautiful and friendship-sustaining thing one can do is to not take it personally, because you're going to need that same grace yourself plenty of times. People will drop of the map for months or years sometimes because they're going through hell, and you dont to deprive yourself of being open to reconnection when they're available again.

There's really no need to read anything into the randomness of life. This stuff will happen, so it's rational to expect it, and loving to not mind it too much.

Do you need to make some new friends? Maybe so! I have multiple different friend groups and I think that's healthy. You may find the no-shows less painful if you have more people to lean on. It's always good to form new connections, learn new things about yourself, expand your skills and understanding of the world through new information and experiences. But should you start over, and ditch your friends who are flakey? I don't think so. To be loved is to be sometimes flaked upon (and to flake). In this capitalistic, individualistic hellscape it's vitally important that we extend one another grace.

[sapphire-weapon]

U don't have to reply publicly to this ask but I actually need to get this off my chest somewhere bc ur like one of the only public blogs that doesn't ship Aeon

But I saw this tiktok saying 'Wesker knew about Ada liking Leon from the beginning and had to take precautions' like what?? What precautions did he take he doesn't gaf about Leon... if he doubted Ada's ability to carry out a mission over a man she only met once then I don't think he would employ her again...

And the text they were using was from the original RE2 which is almost 30 years ago and they were applying it to the remakes. Like it literally said IN THE FILE that Ada was sent to retrieve Sherry and Leon also got the g-sample of Sherry. I said it wasn't canon because... it's not like that doesn't even happen in the remakes?? Leon hardly interacts with Sherry. Then loads of aeon shippers were saying it was canon and that 'the remakes don't completely change the story it's just a reboot!1!1!1!'

It's like... u seriously think something that was written TWENTY SIX years ago. Applies to games released in 2019 and 2023? U don't think the writers changed some aspects to make the games more realistic? Like the relationship has so clearly changed and I'm so sick of Ada x Leon shippers who change the relationship to fit their narrative. I like Leon and Ada together and I think they care for eachother but I don't even wanna say that because I don't wanna be associated with those people. They're all so aggressive too like

Sorry this is rlly long I just wanted to speak about it😭😭😭u don't need to reply if u don't have anything to say

hit them with operation javier. that always shuts them up. not a single aeon has a comeback for that.

i'm kidding leave them alone LMAO

like the operation javier thing is true but honestly leave them alone. you're not going to win against mob mentality. you're just not. you're creating more stress for yourself by trying. that's just the reality of modern-day fandom. no one ever has a reason to leave their echo chamber, so they don't, and they're hostile to anyone who invades it.

that's why i don't leave this blog. there's no point to it. i'd just be picking fights for the sake of picking a fight. and i don't want to fight with people. people are fucking stupid LMAO fighting with them would just damage my own braincells, because i'd be exposing myself to their brain damaged takes.

wesker does harp on ada about leon in OG SW, so that's where they're getting it from. and if they're so convinced that OG and Remake are the same timeline, like... again, you're not going to convince them. it's a whole cult mentality where they have to come to the information/understanding on their own; you can't force it on them.

because they clearly don't understand what the word "reboot" means. resident evil is probably the first big video game franchise they've followed. every reboot in every game series is a new timeline. the dante from DmC isn't the dante from the original devil may cry games. modern lara croft isn't PSX lara croft. and REmake leon and ada aren't OG leon and ada. that's how video game universes work. it's how they've always worked.

but if you don't really play video games, you don't know that.

and that's not our problem. what other people think/believe about a game canon doesn't actually affect our lives. so just let them be stupid. people have a right to their own stupidity. block them and move on with your life, because it's not worth it.

[aceofwhump]

I feel so low right now. I just really hate being ace sometimes. I feel so lonely and broken. Even when I'm around my friends, I feel like I can't relate to most of their conversations. I feel jealous when they talk about their relationships even though I don't want one myself. I hate that I'll never have what they have and probably end up old and alone. I know I'll never deserve anybody because I can't give them what they want. It's all so conflicting and just makes me want to cry.

Oh nonny I am sending you the biggest hug right now. Go ahead and cry. It's okay.

I completely understand what your saying! As much as I love and accept my asexuality some days it's really really hard. I feel exactly what you feel nonny. All the time. It's so hard to not be able to relate to friends and loved ones and not be able to take part in conversations. I've watched so many friends drift away into their relationships as they get married and have babies and start drifting more towards mommy friends and other couples. And it's just you sitting on the sidelines because you're alone and unable to relate to them. And it sucks even more because you really don't want that. You don't want a relationship or babies or any of that but some days you wish you did because it seems like life would be so much easier and less lonely if you did. The fear that you'll end up alone forever is real.

So I know what you feel. I do. But nonny you DO deserve somebody in your life if that's what you want because the right person for you will understand your boundaries and love you for them. It's not impossible. And there's so many different ways to live your life. Not everyone has to lead a life of marriage and partners and kids. I live at home with my parents and my two older siblings. The 3 of us are all in our 30s. None of us are married or even dating. We've never moved out. All of us are quite content with the arrangement. We'll probably always live together. We've accepted our "alternate" lifestyle and give a big middle finger to anyone who thinks we're weird. Fuck them. Fuck society for making us all think we need to fall in love and be in some kind of relationship to be adults or be complete or to be successful or normal or any of the other bullshit I've heard over the years. It's not true.

I know it's hard to believe. I struggle with this all the time but keep the faith my friend. Live your life they way that works best for you and if people leave you because they're in a romantic relationship then they don't deserve you.

You're not alone, nonny ❤❤❤

[djavlaalskadeunge]

Letter 25

"California June 18 - 30

Dear little Mimosa!

Oh! what a big surprise all at once with your letter. No living soul told me that my friend would give the world a new little mimosa. Because I feel that it will be. Beloved friend the world never stands still. It's just me who doesn't have time to catch up. Trying to think about it all exhausts me. You were my friend. I left, you got married, you're going to have a child. How wonderful of you but I feel left out. I can't keep up, everything is slipping away from me. Finally, I become so lonely because I can't do anything else.

But I won't say more about it, because it's up to oneself to manage it alone! No that is not true. Our nature with which God created us cannot be helped or changed. I don't know but I'm selfish like most people are, I always thought you and I belonged together in a special way. I can't believe that everything has changed. I myself know nothing about my own life. I am absolutely not a star, lives simply and infinitely withdrawn I don't see people and hardly know anything about my so-called position. I could just as well be back at the school and have lunch with you. However, it was pleasant and we were i would say quite happy. But "das" leben geth "weither" is of course completely misspelled. Besides, you probably can't read what I write. Besides, I'm tired and sleep terribly, you see, and that makes one a little, if not endlessly tiersome. Ugh such an ugly letter you get from me.  

I am indeed ungrateful to take such a bitter tone. You know if Nisse read this he must have thought I was your lover, abandoned lover. When I get home, can I go out and walk with your little one? What should it be called? I don't understand anything: Garboni Pollack. Mimosa Lundell. Can't you write to me every now and then when you get time and say what you feel and think.

Got a letter from Märta with a photo of you and your head that she made. Would love to come home and see it. Save it until I can. Just sent a reply to Märta, I like her a lot! She has a case of nerves. Be sweet to her. Received a letter from Hörke who told me that she had dinner with you. Would like to redo that trip to Tisdad, but not so hysterically. I am terribly longing to get home and participate in everything that is happening. .But time goes by fast, for better of for worse. Dearest, you don't believe despite my harangues that I don't feel for you and am glad that you are happy, however, you and I belong together since a long time ago. What happens to you has something to do with me. At least we had many moments together that are pleasant to remember. By the way, we have had a terribly amazing time together. I actually get nervous when I think that soon you will be holding that little one and cry out of happiness - - -

In fact I do feel a little fatherly happiness as well. You shouldn't play theater for a couple of months after. You will certainly be much stronger after giving birth. Remember what Mrs. Schildknekt (don't know how the name is spelled) said. Yes, I can now only wish you all the best and assure you that I am indeed "angry" about not being able to be with you.  

Say hello to your father and mother ever so sincerely, and Sven of course and maybe you should give a little greeting to the henhouse. Oh, how adorable it must be out there with you now. Yes, maybe there will soon be a day when we can go out and look for eggs together. Have fun Mimosa and when you have some free time tell me more. Say hello to the father-to-be. Gurra"

[descaladumidera]

On High-Functioning Depression and Why It Sucks

People with High-Functioning Depression (aka Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD)) experience depressive symptoms, but much less severe. They can still do their daily tasks, like going to work, cleaning their homes, taking care of themselves, but it comes at the cost of feeling completely and utterly drained afterwards and all these tasks being incredibly hard.

The defining factor is that the people experience a depressive mood for most days for at least two years.

Symptoms for said depressive mood include but are not limited to:

• insomnia or sleeping too much • feeling sad and/or hopeless • fatigue or no energy • lack of self-esteem • changes in appetite (decreased appetite or overeating) • suicidal thoughts

Now. This is my dunno-how-many-th attempt at writing something about this. Haha. Depression, amiright? Anyway. Just. Scroll past this if you're not interested in reading about my own experiences. I just need. To scream this into the void. And maybe it'll help someone else to recognize that they are not Just Sad™ and get the help they need.

I'll put everything else under a cut. Because. This got long.

To preface this: I'm officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I'm trying to get some other stuff checked out, but that's not important right now. (It's a lie. It is important, but if I start, I'll go down a rabbit hole, rant for a few paragraphs, and then break down crying. So. We leave that out. It's not important regarding this post.)

When I first got diagnosed, I didn't know that PDD was A Thing™. And I don't know if my therapist did, either, 'cause I think they were kinda doubting that I was depressed at all. Which. Fair. If you go by the classic depression symptoms and severity (even though depression is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing).

I was not depressed enough to not get out of bed or take care of myself. I was not depressed enough to not go to work. I was holding down a steady (albeit shitty) job at that time, I showered regularly, I cleaned the house, I walked and took care of my (now deceased) dog, I did everyday tasks. But, and that's the crux of the matter, I was completely drained afterwards. Taking a shower and going to work on the same day? Killed me completely. Going to therapy and to work on the same day? Yeah, no dice. On those days it was too much to eat a dry slice of bread, but I forced myself to anyway.

And then. Well. You have to know that my job required me to work from 5:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. So I got home around midnight. I was always bone tired, but. I. Couldn't. Sleep. Just couldn't. Still can't. Body tired, mind exhausted, but when I could finally fall asleep at 3 or 4 a.m., I would wake up every half hour or so. And then it would take me up to an hour to fall asleep again. Rinse and repeat. (I got a weighted blanket now and it got a bit better, with my sleep being uninterrupted on most nights for about three to four hours. Not ideal, but so much better than what I had before. Believe me. I lived with that horrid sleep pattern for years and it had me on the brink of crying each time.)

And then I stumbled upon the term Functioning Depression on a Clint Barton/Hawkeye post on Tumblr of all things. Turns out it's not functioning but high-functioning, but that's neither here nor there. Fact is, it helped me to understand my particular flavor of depression.

I did a Google and. Well. This high-functioning depression stuff fits me to a T. The sad part is that I had already stopped therapy by then (which is another whole other story in and of itself, which will also make me break down and cry if I start to think about it). But at least now I knew that I was not not depressed enough. I simply have a different type of depression (well, this part is a self-diagnosis, but whatever).

It's nice to know that for myself, because no one else cares. They just see me functioning like a normal person in everyday life and assume I'm fine. Because for most people depression comes in the form of being "too sad to take care of yourself".

"You don't look sad." Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. I don't go around and proclaim my permanent suffering, because my brain chemicals are whack, to the world. It's none of your business. My parents know I have depression (they accept it, so why would I confuse them with the sub-type?), and my friends do, too. Some of those friends also know about the high-functioning part.

But yeah. It's hard to get acceptance, because I look fine. But I'm not. I stopped therapy (for unrelated reasons), I'm not on meds, I don't have any officially taught coping mechanisms. I'm just trying to do my best. Sadly, that "best" is. Slugging through. Existing. Just. Existing. And crawling from day to day and not thinking about how to best kill myself. Because. Yeah. That has been an intrusive thought lodged in my head for months now. I would have bouts of suicidal thoughts in the past, but this one has lasted the longest and it's so damn hard to fight it each and every day. I'm just. So exhausted.

I'm not fine. I'm not. But I appear to be and it's so hard to get help for a mental illness that's even more invisible than usual. I just want to give up. I'm so tired. And the most infuriating part is that I could do something about it, but I just. Don't.

I'm not a child anymore. My parents should've gotten me help for my anxiety when I was a kid, but everyone always said that I'm just shy (well, I thought so, too, until I learned about anxiety when I was an adult—fun times). I don't blame my parents. It's not their fault. I grew up in the 90s and 2000s in a small town in Germany. Mental health? What's that? I don't blame them. But I mourn the opportunity, 'cause everything is so much harder if you're an adult (for example getting an autism or ADHD diagnosis, which I'm looking into, but … yeah). Kids get help easier. Because they're kids. As an adult you're fucked. And not in the fun way.

It's not like in fiction. Nobody will come and save you. Nobody will be your hero and drag you out of your pit. You can only save yourself. It just sucks when you're too tired to do so.

[theowritesfiction]

'The Guru'

I'll be honest... this new, happy and positive Zuko creeps me out. I don't trust him at ALL. It's honestly like he has been utterly brainwashed by the Dai Li. Hmm... he was in the catacombs under the lake, right? Maybe that's what happened... hence the fever, nightmares and now this 100% personality change!

Sokka's reunion with the Water Tribe warriors and his dad... I'm not crying, ur crying! I honestly had forgotten that Sokka gets his sense of 'humor' from his dad. The warriors in the camp totally look exhausted by dealing with Hakoda's jokes for months. :) Still, Sokka being treated like a man by his dad... it means the world to him <3

I love Azula and the dangerous ladies on their infiltration mission. King Kuei is still a dolt, though. Even if these Kyoshi Warriors were not impostors, why would you blurt out about your invasion plans just like that? Maybe not everyone needs to know about it? The scene with Azula plotting the coup and Ty Lee joking around with Mai and admiring Azula's confidence... it's an almost domestic dangerous ladies moment and I love it.

Watching Azula's plans unfold is just so incredibly satisfying. The setup of letting the Dai Li overhear Mai and Ty Lee... perfect. And obviously, I love the scene of Katara telling the 'Kyoshi Warriors' that the Fire Nation have infiltrated the city. Especially because she recognizes Azula by looking her in the eyes... interesting, very interesting. <3

Aang's lessons with Pathik are quite fascinating. Pathik torturing Aang with the banana and onion juice is a big part of the fun. But the issue of unlocking the final chakra is something I heavily dislike. That Aang would refuse to embrace his lessons and get rid of his earthly attachments, when the girl he thinks he loves has shown very few signs of being romantically interested in him... ugh, just no. And I really hate the eventual payoff of all this, when Aang got to unlock his full powers without sacrificing anything in return. He literally was handed his cake and got to eat it too. And to me, that's not satisfying storytelling. Learning to give up his one-sided crush would have been a far more powerful and wholesome message other than 'oh I guess I'll just not unlock my full potential necessary to save the world because of the girl who so far has acted like I'm her baby brother 99% of the time'. Aang gets 100 Jerk Points for not completing his training.  

Also, I hate how in this way the narrative places second hand burden of guilt and responsibility on Katara for this. The viewers are being manipulated into thinking that because Aang gave up all this for her, she is now obliged to get with him. Gross.

Watching Toph figure out metalbending is just pure awesomeness. I have nothing else to say about that. She's just that damn impressive. It's not even hubris or exaggeration when Toph states that she's the most powerful earthbender that's ever lived. I believe her 100%. Also, she just locked two grown men into a tiny steel coffin and left them to die. <3

The ending is fantastic as well, with Azula letting Long Feng believe that he's in control. Azula is such an icon when it comes to episode endings. You can't go wrong with that ominous smile or a smirk.

Jerk Points for Book 2:

Iroh, Long Feng - 560 Azulon - 300 Aang - 290 Ursa, General Fong  - 200 Zuko, Toph - 120 Ozai, King Kuei - 100 Sokka - 70 Bumi, Lao Beifong - 50 Pakku - 30

[junhour]

We weren't meant to be..

khshsgshsg I'm so addicted to Junhui! My god he is so fine... I'm in loveeee~ Just look at him! I love him soo much he is wrecking me so hard!

btw this is my first story! So there are gonna be a lot of mistakes in it! I'll improve in my other works! Anyways enjoy..... heheh

Tags- Angst, fluff, one-shot cheating partner,non-idol fic (i guess that's all? If there is more do tell me!)

Character's- Y/N and Jun (ofcourse duh) best friend's Jeonghan Joshua and Wonwoo!

Everything in bold is what the character is saying. That means you will see bold letters to represent someone speaking..

Baobei means love or baby in Chinese!

Word count- 4,459 words

ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ

7:25 pm

He's late, he told me he will be here by 7.

7:40 pm

He's still not here.

8:00 pm

He'll be here soon he promised me...

You believed in him. Stupid You.

8:25 pm

It's going to rain soon you murmured to yourself as you look up and see those dark clouds and you were wearing a dress he bought for you because you knew how much he loved seeing you in that dress...You knew this dress couldn't help you in this situation in any way... But there you were waiting for him.

8:50 pm

You let out a slow giggle, remembering the playful cute guy you fell in love as you saw a couple probably younger than you, running and twirling in the rain, soaking wet, with a smile on their faces... It was like you could look at them and know that they were in love

I'd give so much to be like that again

9:30 pm

U sat there on the bench waiting for him to come because you believed in him way too much. A man who had just passed by you gave you his fur coat and asked you if u needed his help but you denied him saying you were waiting for someone and off he went. I'm stupid... very stupid... I shouldn't have come bu-t he might still come no? you thought and decided to wait for him.

10:00 pm

The rain has stopped but there you were waiting for him. You couldn't take it anymore

That's it. I can't... l-l-ike what wrong thing did i do that he had to keep me waiting here for him? if he was caught up with some work he could have just told me couldn't he? I shouldn't have waited for him this long h-he is- before you could complete your words tears started running down your face. There were few people around few of them came to ask you what happened and if u needed any help but you denied them softly telling them that it's okay you are okay. It was a lie but you loved him... You still do!

10:40 pm

You have no idea why but you stayed there waiting for him waiting for the person who kept ignoring you... Because you thought he probably got busy or something... stupid girl.It was too much now and you told yourself that you will not wait for him anymore and go back to your house but for some reason you wanted to know if what you were thinking was probably a lie. You don't really do this but you decided on doing it either ways.

You dialed Jeonghan's number being Junhui's girlfriend most of his friends were your friends especially Jeonghan Joshua and Wonwoo the four of you had a special relationship as the four of you were friends even before you met Jun,it was them who introduced you to Jun. In one ring Jeonghan picked the call up Hello?You there? What happened?You fall on your knees crying.

11:30 pm

You're still crying as you reach home, Jeonghan driving. The drive to your home was silent and Jeonghan looked very worried throughout the whole drive he knew if he asked something you would cry more so he thought being quiet right now would be the best for both of you.

11:40 pm

You decide to take a long shower. You think about how foolish you'd been to sit there thinking that he'd show up. He never did these days... He was always busy doing this and that, sometimes it even felt like he was ignoring you...

The music playing in the background does nothing to calm you and you fall apart again

10:00 am

You think back to try and figure out how u ended up on the bed, curled into a ball with the music still playing from the bathroom...

All the emotions flood back into you as you remember everything that happened

10:10 am

You go downstairs to get some breakfast and find Jeonghan sleeping on your couch. You wonder if he has been here since the night and suddenly a wave of gratitude washes over you.

You go over to the kitchen and try to find something to eat. You seem to be lost. All the emotions you're trying to contain inside you are too much.

Jeonghan comes into the kitchen,woken up by all the noise. He understands you are looking for something to eat so he tells you to go outside and wait, he'll get both of you breakfast. You accept his offer happily as you had no energy to do anything right now.

10:20 am

So how is it? Jeonghan asks you with a smile on his face as you dig into it.

Its amazing I love it! Thank you so much for all this Jeonghan! I don't know how to thank you..

Soo..How are you now? Are you okay now?

Oh Jeonghan it's just that- Me and Jun we have been fighting a lot these days I don't know why yesterday he promised me that he would come to the park and it would be a date! But as usual he didn't come i waited for him like a stupid girl and you see these days i-i feel like he is ignoring me i'm just like a ghost for him i don't know Jeonghan d-did i do something wrong? His heart sunk as you said those words.He wanted to say something when he saw your tears. He couldn't believe that his friend could be like that...He sat next to you and held you hand telling you to let it all out scream cry or do whatever but don't keep it in you... You can't keep pretending that everything's okay anymore... You finally can't control it anymore.

Me and Jun had planned so many dates but guess what? It's always me who is there and he'll just send me a text saying he got busy some work came up and all. Am I a... a toy or something? It feels like h-he uses me when he wants to and j-just throws me away when he wants. Jeonghan I don't k-know about anything right now i don't k-know anything a-about me and j-jun. I just... I just d-dont know. As soon as you finished you broke into tears and he hugged you.

It's okay everything will be okay. Jeonghan assured you.

You kept on crying on his shoulder till you had no energy left in you. He let you take it all out.

11:40 am

You wake up on your bed and you wonder how you ended up here. That's when everything that had happened came back to your memory. One side of you felt like dying but the other side felt happy and relieved to know that you had such good friends,who were there for you whenever you needed them the most.

Soon you went downstairs just to find your friends sitting there on the couch. Joshua saw you as you stood there on the staircase and he signaled everyone that you were here. Soon you find yourself sitting between all of them on the couch. Their expressions explained everything to you that they knew what had happened and everything going between you and Jun.

Wonwoo broke the silence saying Y/N we understand what you are going through don't keep everything inside you now on,let it all out don't keep it in it will just hurt you more.

Those words were so comforting and for some reason it made you feel so relaxed and relieved. Everyone nodded in union to what Wonwoo had said.

Thank You soo much guys! I can't believe i got to have such amazing friends like you all!How you all are always there whenever i need you guys the most! I just have no words for this I'm just so thankful to all of you! This time you didn't feel like crying but you felt ever so happy you were glad to have them in your life .

All of them smiled at you and told you that this is what friends are for! The room was now silent but the silence was comforting and relaxing.

Your door bell rang suddenly, everyone's head shot up to the door.You told them you will go and get the door.

You went and opened the door just to find your boyfriend standing there with a pastel coloured bouquet of carnation flowers,your favourite flowers.You suddenly remembered the time when he bought you this exact bouquet when he proposed you. You were standing there. Jun looked at you with such a warm smile as he held the bouquet as if all of this ruckus wasn't created because of him.

Baobei what happened? Yes I know I couldn't come yesterday and im very sorry for that baobei. I'll make it up to you,did you cry because of me? Yes indeed did cry because of him. I'm really sorry,don't be so upset now. Today I will spend my whole day with you we can do whatever you want to baobei!Here I bought your favourite flowers! You stood there motionless and that's when everyone came to see what was happening here and they definitely did not expect something like this.

Ohhhhh,you guys are here?!!! I didn't know you called them over baobei you could have told me but whatever it's okay as they are also here now we will have loads of fun and again I'm soooo sorry baobei! He said as you took the bouquet in you hands.

Nobody has uttered a word ever since he came.

Ummm guys?What happened?Did i do something wrong? Like i know i did wrong by ditching her in the date but I'm so sorry i got caught up with some work.

Junie nothing is wrong okay? Don't feel sorry about it i understand baby. Its just that we didn't expect you right now nothing else so don't take tension and thank you so much for the bouquet!

He smiled I'm so lucky to have someone like you in my life!

Others were confused but they understood that you don't want him to know not now.

So they all agreed upon what you said. Jun had also bought you your favourite snacks and eatables so you told all of them to go and you will bring it all but Jun insisted on helping so in the end he did help you. As you guy's sat down and started talking, you were missing this old version of Jun the cute giggly and loving side of his. Whenever you would fall ill he would stay with you the whole time and would never leave you.He was always there whenever you needed him he was your back bone but look at the two of you now. It seems like all you guys do is pretend to be happy in front of everyone. You miss him... You miss the old him... The loving caring bubbly and giggly him.. You miss 'we'...

6:00 pm

It was late evening when everyone left. Now only you and Jun were there and there was this awkward silence in the room while in the background the sounds of the Television kept coming. Jun broke the silence saying

Baobei?

Yes Jun,what happened?

I-umm I'm very sorry i ditched you yesterday,I'm really very sorry but please don't ignore me...

Junie I'm not ignoring you okay? It's just that ah- leave it we can talk about all that later right now it's just you and me so let's have some fun and sorry if I made you feel I'm ignoring you baby!

Hmm okay! Soooo...Now that we have all this time left watcha wanna do baobei??!! He smiled as he asked you.

You returned the smile and pinched his cheeks as you found him way too cute!

Well...we can go out to the cat shelter? There's a new cat there i was waiting to go there with you!So we can go there now and I'll cook the dinner when we come back!

Ofcourse let's goo! But- I will cook the dinner not you okay? You just help me because you know I suck at cooking I'll do the rest yea!

Oh god just don't burn down the house Junie!

Awww man I'm not that bad at cooking! Anyways come let's goo!

Yes yea give me a second let me just- And before you know he had dragged you out! You laughed at him at how excited he is to go to the cat shelter,he loves cats so much! You wished you guys could have been like these always, happy always. You wish.

8:00 pm

When you guys visited the shelter you both got so immersed in it you did not even notice how the time went,there were just so many cute lil kittens there and the both you thought that you will adopt a kitty soon. On the way Jun insisted on eating those street food and ofcourse you couldn't deny it!

Baobei let's go and eat Tteokbokki!!

Ya ya ofcourse baby! I love it!

Gosh it's delicious-

I know right it's so-

There was a little shop on the way back to you house you both went there to have look

Juniee look at that! The ring looks soo cute doesn't it?

Ofcourse it does it will look so good on you

Hehhe thanks! You grinned at his comment.

Hey baobei look at those couple rings, it looks so good we should buy it shouldn't we?

Awww,it's amazing let's buy!

The old lady that worked there looked at the two of you and smiled and said You two look really good together!Be like this always!

You blushed when you heard her say that and Jun smiled warmly at the comment.

9:00 pm

It was so fun baobei!

I know right,we went somewhere together like this after so long .

Yea i know that! He smiled saying those words.

You wished that the two of you could have been like this always and you hoped those bad days would just disappear.

You went to get fresh and as soon as you came back you found Jun in the kitchen already.

Y/N ah come here look I'm trying to make Chow Mein

lol i chose something easy but I'm a bit full already and I know you probably are full too from all that street food we ate so i thought maybe this would be good but oh god it's not easy okay?I need help please?

Oh god Junie ofcourse I'll help you! Let's get this done quickly!

He nods in approval.

You arranged plates for the two of you on the table and sat there watching Jun cook,soon the thoughts you dreaded the most came to you mind as you started thinking when this kind of things were very common for you, you would be so happy and basically everyone adored the two of you.

Y/N girlie where did you get lost? Look here is the five star Chow Mein just for you!

You snapped out of it as you heard Jun.

Sheesh so cheesy you are Jun, anyways let's eat!

Hmm i can't wait!

Pabo~

Oh god Jun it's just amazing you are not a bad cook after all baby!

Hehe thank you but you did help me though-

All i did was some chopping and stuff baby!

Yea yea whatever. He chuckled.

You had finished dinner, Jun had insisted on doing the dishes so you just let him do it. You went and sat on the couch and wondered if all of this was a dream,if the things won't be the same tomorrow what if- your thoughts were cut when Jun sat next to you.

Hello? Earth to Y/N,you there ?

Oh yea yea i just got lost anyways what are we doing now?

What do you want to?

Hmm I'm tired so maybe we go to bed, cuddle and sleep?

Good idea Y/N. Let's go!

He picked you up in bridal style and you blushed.

Ohhh~looks like someone is blushing eh?

Oh god stop Wen Junhui!

Awww your Chinese is pretty cute!

Yea yea!

The night went like that the two of you talked for a while before drifting off to sleep... You just couldn't stop wondering if tomorrow won't be the same but you knew it won't be the same it won't be. You thought to enjoy it right now because it's never ever gonna be the same.

8:00 am

The sun shined brightly from the curtains making you squint your eyes from how brightly the sun was shining directly into your eyes.

You turned just to see Junhui sleeping ever so peacefully,he looked so beautiful so ethereal.You swear you wanted to kiss him but for some reason you didn't,then you saw the time are realised it's 8o clock already and Jun probably had office today so you crawled out the bed and went straight to get fresh, you got out as fast as you could because you knew he doesn't like being late. You know Jun must be awake probably,you were right because when you went out Jun was on his phone smiling as he texted someone not that you want to interfere his personal life but those thoughts of him cheating on you?!! They always had scared you to death. Leaving all those thoughts behind you went to the kitchen and started cooking breakfast. Jun had seen you but he was so busy in his phone texting someone.

You flipped the last pancake you made for breakfast. And arranged them on the table. Soon you heard Jun coming down the stairs,you were sitting there waiting for him to come so you can start with the breakfast and maybe just know that everything were the same as yesterday or did they really go back to normal.

Good Morning baby!

Good morning Y/N.

You had no idea how to continue this conversation as you understood from his 'im not so interested in this conversation' tone that things were not like yesterday anymore.You wondered how things were so magical and just so good yesterday you thought maybe he had a good day or he felt bad for ditching you? Or something good had happened and he just had a good mood? You had no idea but you wished everything could have been like yesterday forever but it won't be like that,now you know it won't be.

He kissed you on the cheek before leaving to go to the office. And there you were sitting in the couch once again and you understood yesterday was a dream a god damn dream that you wished was real.

You sat there motionless you just sat there thinking about the two of you,your relationship and how everything right now is going down hill,you really want confront him about it but you can just can't you can't...But you can't just ignore all those signs the signs that confirmed he was drifting away from you,he wasn't yours anymore. When he would in his phone hours texting someone, smiling you let it pass away saying it might be his friends. When he came back home and he had this fragrance that wasn't his you know the perfume he uses you know it's fragrance, especially this was women's perfume and you were sure it wasn't yours again you let it pass saying probably his co-worker. The time when he told you he is at office and he will be late,so you went there just to check him up but guess what he had left a hour ago only and once again you let it pass saying he probably got busy or maybe his friends came over. You weren't ready to lose him,you weren't ready to not being able to call him yours.So you kept on lying to yourself you kept on ignoring all these signs and look where it has gotten you....

2:00 pm

You had cooked the lunch already, suddenly you heard the door bell ring so you went to open the door and it was none other than Jun.

Hey Y/N! I came home early today,boss said I've been working a lot.

Oh that's great! I didn't really expect you i mean ofcourse i wouldn't have anyways you are just in time as i just finished making the lunch..

Oh i have already ate.Im so sorry Y/N ah i had no idea hmm. He said he hung his coat and removed his shoes, keeping them properly in a corner.

Oh,it's okay I'll just eat my lunch you go get fresh..

He hummed in response.

He went upstairs to get fresh and you went and sat on the table,you got your food and started eating.You were hurt very hurt but probably he didn't care. You finished you lunch already,you were doing the dishes right now and then you'll head to the bedroom to get fresh...

3:30 pm

He was there laying on the bed while again texting someone he was smiling throughout,you wished it were you. You went to take a shower,you heard him laugh.When he was standing there at the door you smelled the same women's perfume again and you saw a mark on his neck. It was all too much you can't just hold it in yourself,you are going to confront him right now because you can't keep it in yourself for long because in the end it will be you who is hurt no one else.

You get ready and go outside and stand infront of the bed.

Junie?

He glanced at you and that's when he saw your eyes,you had a look which made him hurt he got anxious and kept his phone away..

Baobei? Y/N ah what happened? Is there a cockroach in the bathroom again? I swear i don't know where they are coming from,I'll take-

Jun drop it.

W-what? What do you mean?

Jun since when?

huh?Y/N what do you mean-

I asked since when?!! You asked with a straight face but it was too hard to control those tears..

He understood,he understood what you meant,he understood that you know it,you know about it now and there is nothing left to hide anymore.He never wanted to hurt you never ever but it just happened even he has no idea how,he wanted to tell you about all this sooner but he could never because he saw it in your eyes he saw the love he saw how you were always happy with him. It stung him,it hurted very badly but he knew it was nothing compared to the pain he has made you feel...

C-couple m-months. He said so slowly it came out as a whisper.

Couple months i see.. B-but why didn't you tell me? You asked with such a calm voice as if nothing was hurting you, he could not even have eye contact with you and he looked like small child in front of you...

I-i did w-want to tell you-but i couldn't i-i don't know. He was holding his tears back. He knew he has given wounds that will never be healed.

Oh- i see.B-but Junie why? Why? was i not enough?Did i do something wrong?

It hurt him even more now,how you were blaming yourself because of him.It all happened because of him but here you were thinking all this happened because you were not enough for him? Noo you were more than enough for him,you were his everything but somehow it just happened,how he slipped out of you, everything.

no baobei it's not because of you!Its all happening b-because of me and y-you are blaming yourself?I'm sorry I'm very sorry I'm such an idiot I'm a fool i know I'm so damn s-sorry love I'm sorry.Im so sorry for everything I'm sorry for ruining whatever we had,how i destroyed our whole relationship it all happened because of me not you!Dont blame yourself please please I'm so sorry I'm just-im a idiot.

He fell on his knees as you looked at him so calmly but you eye's and tears spoke other ways. Those tears that were flowing down your cheeks are because of him.He knows he realised it late and he also knows nothing can go back to normal now, in the end you and Jun will be strangers just because of him and his stupid heart.

Ju-nnie baby,don't blame yourself,stop crying my love stop. I love you and I will always love you,you are my first love and you will always have that special place in my heart.. I know it's hard but it's for the best.

With that being said you went towards the closest and packed all your things,you saw this frame of you and Jun from you first date.You smiled remembering those days..You took it with you.

You went towards him and saw him crying he looked so small so helpless..

You went towards him and held his face so gently and planted a kiss on his lips.. You whispered 'I love you Jun forever and always'. It killed him even more..

Baobei I'm sorry.

Jun it's okay it over for us for good my love. Find someone better than me for you love I'm not the one for you probably.We can't change the things that are meant to be, you know I love you and i will always love you but it's for the best of both of us,maybe we weren't meant to be. Maybe in another parallel universe we get to be together and happy,but not in this one my love.Its over we are over let's end this. Let's breakup Jun.

Those three words stabbed him in his chest.He felt like dying,both of you were a crying mess right now but again it was for the best. He saw you going out the door. He knew it's all over finally it's over between the two of you.

Maybe you were right you both weren't meant to be at first place.. It broke him whenever he saw all those pics,the times when the both of you were so happy...He wished he wouldn't have been so stupid to hurt you so much.

Well... It's over now it's over between us now. I'll always remember you Y/N my baobei you'll always be my baobei... Jun said as he broke down again on the floor..

It's over between us Junie baby,we are done i know it's very hard but i know we will go through this and find someone better for us but you will always be mine forever and ever,you will always be in my heart love. You said as you stood outside waiting for Jeonghan to come and pick you up...

Its over between you two....

[tapioca-puddingg]

Broly, the Legendary Super Saiyan: A Brief Dragon Ball Z Analysis

EDITED 3/12/2023

Yo, it's me again. So I'm still on a break from my Drakengard analyses, which I haven't forgotten about! Those require a lot of research and time, so I'm keeping them on the back burner for now. But instead, I'm here with a pretty unexpected analysis. I've never talked about Dragon Ball Z on my blog before, so this'll be the first time. Today I wanted to talk about Broly from the original Broly: The Legendary Super Saiyan movie. The reboot was a fantastic movie and they did a great job at making him more human. I may very well do another analysis on the new Broly one day.

I wanted to give my take on Broly's character from the original movie, since the movie itself doesn't even attempt to. Let me preface this by saying that this is just my opinion based on the character's backstory and behavior. I'm certain someone will disagree, which is fine. Do let me know your thoughts and let me know if I get something wrong. SPOILERS AHEAD: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The Start of Broly and Paragus

So, let's talk about it. By now, everyone and their mother has already criticized Broly's original backstory, and for good reason! It's literally the worst backstory I've ever seen, so fans are right to dislike it. Lemme explain his backstory briefly: when Broly and Goku were born, Broly had an abnormally high power level of 10,000. King Vegeta felt ashamed that his power level exceeded that of his own son, so he sought to have Broly and Paragus (Broly's father) executed. I don't know why he would try to kill him and not just make use of him later on, but okay. So Paragus and Broly are attacked and left out to die. That also happened to be the same day that Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta, and Broly managed to get them both to safety. Paragus wants revenge on Vegeta (understandably), but Broly wants revenge on Goku for disturbing him with his crying when they were newborns.

My take on this: All of that makes sense except for Broly's... strange fixation on Goku. This heavily implies that he had a high level of sentience as a newborn; to be able to acknowledge that another newborn is crying near him and remembers this newborn well into adulthood. As humans, we don't gain that level of self-awareness until age 4 or 5. We see this again when he saves himself and Paragus. Although I don't think he knows exactly what's happening, I believe he is aware that they are in danger, and he sorta goes into fight or flight mode. So by that logic, would he not remember that King Vegeta nearly stabbed him to death? He was able to recognize Goku's face and name as an adult, so would he not recognize that Vegeta looks exactly like his father? The more I think about it, the more it doesn't make sense. Anyways though, let's move on.

The Life of Broly and Paragus

It goes without saying that Broly and Paragus' lives have never been easy. Broly has always had this unfathomable amount of power inside of him that he can't control. He's a loose cannon, to put it mildly. And this overwhelms Paragus. Rather than Paragus training him to hone this power, he chooses to use a mind control device as a quick means of "calming" Broly when his temper gets out of line. What lesson does this teach Broly? It teaches him that his anger is unacceptable; that his emotions are wrong. And it also forces Broly to be completely dependent on Paragus, stunting his maturation and effectively making him a man-child. Even though Broly is the same age as Goku (mid to late 30's is my guess), he never leaves his father's side for very long and only speaks when spoken to. This is such an abusive parent-child relationship.

Even when Broly is first introduced, he appears docile and unassuming. When he speaks, his voice is devoid of any emotion, with a lack of emotional facial expressions to boot. He's been forced to suppress his emotions for years because he will be punished for doing so. No doubt that this may have caused some deep-seated resentment. But alas, his strange hatred for Goku made him snap. The device broke and there was nothing to hold back his rage. What happens when a child who has been raised by a controlling parent gains freedom? They lose control. He lost control. It is the first time in his life that he actually has autonomy. The dam had been broken, and all of his pent-up rage and emotions came flooding out, and nobody could stop it. Paragus' lack of trust and fear of his own son brought about the very fate that he had hoped to avoid. It was a disaster waiting to happen, and boy did it.

Aside from completely wrecking the shit of our main heroes, he also finds and kills Paragus as he attempts to flee; he crushes him inside the space pod and hurls it toward the nearest planet. I believe that deep down, Broly developed feelings of hatred and resentment towards Paragus for all the years of abuse he suffered. And when he snaps, it's like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." The seemingly harmless Broly is no more, but is instead replaced by a savage, ruthless and cold-hearted killer. Or in other words, evil. It's for the best that he was put down by Goku. Who knows how much more destruction he would've caused had he still been alive? Let's not forget that he decimated an entire galaxy at the very start of the movie.

Now, I sympathize with both Paragus and Broly at times. I understand that they both had incredibly difficult lives. Between being wrongfully mistreated by King Vegeta, left out to die after almost being killed, losing his entire home planet in a matter of minutes, and having to raise a son whose power level is beyond the scale of anything that he's ever dealt with, it makes sense that he would turn out this way. And then here we have Broly, a person that was raised by a toxic, controlling parent who never let him express his emotions or act independently. Their story is one of tragedy. It doesn't justify either of their actions. It's just an explanation. I could talk more about how Saiyans are raised in families devoid of love and affection, but that's another analysis for another time. But hey, that's just my two cents.

Final note: If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading and giving this the time of day! I do hope that you enjoy my take on things and be sure to leave your comments if you enjoyed. I wanted to pop in real quick and talk about this. I've had some feelings about this for some time and wanted to get em out there. Until next time!

[aihoshiino]

your analysis are really interesting and are a joy to read! i wanted to ask about your thoughts on the tokyo blade arc of the manga because its really interesting and gives a lot of characters more depth

thank u so much anon! 🥺 I feel like I've said this in like every ask but it really does surprise and delight me how many people vibe with my longform takes on the series when the extent of my fandom engagement for the last few years has been talking about fate grand order in a group chat comprised of like 5 other gay people LMAO

That said, Tokyo Blade is... an arc I have mixed feelings on! It was, in fact, the arc I originally dropped the manga on back when I was first following it in 2020/2021 feeling it was poorly paced and that I wasn't able to get invested in the cast to the degree it wanted me to me. But upon revisiting the series and this arc in particular with fresh eyes, I think I was being pretty unfair to it - though I do stand by my feeling of the pacing being not the best at least when reading it week to week. It's one of those arcs that definitely works better when you can take it all in at once as opposed to having it doled out over what felt like an agonizingly slow 30+ weeks.

As for my current feelings... in isolation I think it's extremely strong and has some incredible moments that I am PUMPED for seeing animated in season 2 but the further we get away from it and see its long term effects on the cast (or I should say, the lack thereof) the more I feel like it ultimately adds up to less than the sum of its parts.

Not that it's a bad arc, mind! Like I said, it has some insanely strong individual moments and I think the character arcs it ends up serving are super interesting. Its commentary is compelling and I literally can't gush enough about the massive glowup Melt gets in this arc. Every time I have new friends get into the series and understandably react with derision towards him in Sweet Today I just sit there crying tears of blood like that's my fucking baby son you don't understand

I also just really appreciate that the arc is willing to slow down and just let us breathe in some of the emotional baggage the characters are all dealing with without needing to shackle it to Aqua's revenge quest. Even the side characters like the mangakas and the production staff feel like they have real, human lives beyond the ways they factor into the plot and again, it feels like there are real weight and stakes to ensuring the play's success beyond just whether or not it will help Aqua do a thing. So many people's careers (and by extension, their lives) are hanging in the balance and you feel the weight of that responsibility absolutely crushing everyone involved. It's great!

This is potentially a sillier point to add but can I also say that I really like how authentic Tokyo Blade feels as an in-universe piece of fiction LOL. Everything from the premise to the designs rings so fucking true to the exact sort of manga it's a pastiche of that I'm half expecting to hear about the Studio Bones Tokyo Blade anime adaptation announcement any day now because it feels so real to me.

On the less positive side, though... like I said, this arc is s l o w. I believe it's still Oshi no Ko's longest arc at three volumes's worth of chapters and change and it's such a change to the story's until-then relatively breezy pace that it can be really jarring when you go in not expecting it. Again, having the arc available in full to read as quick or slow as you like does a lot to alleviate this problem but if you aren't connecting with it, you're stuck with it for an incredibly long time. This also means that B-Komachi in general and Ruby in specific get completely side-lined for almost thirty entire chapters - Ruby basically vanishes during this entire arc and if you were invested in and excited about her as a character, it sucks to see her get so immediately and completely sidelined after what felt like a big triumphant step forward for her, which is a pattern that will unfortunately continue through the rest of the series.

And speaking of unfortunate patterns... Tokyo Blade is the arc where Akane starts taking steps towards becoming the version of herself I like the least lmao. I've said to friends elsewhere that short hair/LoveNow!Akane and long hair/post Tokyo Blade!Akane basically feel like completely different characters to me and while I really love and am invested in LoveNow!Akane, PTB!Akane is easily my least favourite member of the main cast for reasons that are not entirely her fault.

She doesn't quite achieve her final form in Tokyo Blade arc but the seeds of my worst future annoyances with her (lack of meaningful connection to the extended cast, largely just orbiting Aqua, the overly convenient nature of her deductions, etc) start to take root here. There are some teases of interesting ideas and I particularly enjoy the build up, development and reveal of the true nature of her rivalry with and animosity for Kana but I don't feel like these bear any long term fruit.

That's probably my biggest problem with Tokyo Blade - it feels like an arc that should massively advance the story and the arcs of all the characters associated with it. In some ways it does and we get some tasty crumbs about the central mystery but when you take a step back and really look, the broad strokes status quo of the plot and the character relationships really don't get much of a shakeup and even the things that do feel like they should lead to big changes (Akane figuring out Ai's secret, Aqua finding his half-brother, Kana getting her shine back and Akane's reaction) just kind of... don't? Or at least not in ways that are as impactful as they feel they should be.

Kana and Akane's rivalry is probably the worst example of this. It's built up across the whole arc to the point of their on-stage confrontation basically being the arc's climactic high point. Kana finally stepping into the spotlight again and outshining Akane so beautifully really feels like it should have served as a gigantic change to their dynamic but not only have they barely interacted in any meaningful capacity since it happened, but the times they have it's just been the same old shit of hostility and sniping at each other with the tiny flavour difference of "oh gosh, akane is just such a tsundere tee hee <3". It just doesn't feel like the meaningful, impactful change it should have been based on how hard the end of that arc made me FEEL it.

I've said elsewhere before that a lot of the characters feel sort of like they've been stuck in holding patterns since Tokyo Blade and I'm hoping that in the Movie arc, with the cast being crunched together into a single, extremely emotionally taxing and relevant project, it might shake a bit of life back into the proceedings, especially given that Aka has said that he thinks the manga's ending is probably within sight - though that could be anything from fifty to a hundred more chapters depending on what he's got planned so who knows how things might shake out.

I do ultimately feel more positively about the arc than negative, though! I feel like I rambled a lot more about the things I dislike here than the things I enjoyed but that's because I feel like the arc's strengths speak for themselves while the stuff I don't like as much needed a bit more explaining. At the end of the day, I think Tokyo Blade is a really solid arc that I'm beyond excited to see animated - it has one of my favourite scenes in the whole manga (given that I am an Ai enjoyer you can uh, probably guess which one it is) and I'm really hopeful that we might get a sneaky peek at a certain someone if season 2 ends at the point I suspect it might...