#i'm in some sort of magical school bus

[msboutofcontext]

[maidservant-hecubus]

My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. His parents were first generation Americans. Their parents escaped the pogroms in Russia and Ukraine and came to find their American dream. They fought in wars and opened businesses and assimilated and my generation barely has a few words of Yiddish between us. My mother is as much of a WASP as it gets. American Revolutionaries and Signers and some household name civil war feature players. Not old money, but old America and undoubtedly white. I'm patrilineal. Not a Jew to a lot of Jews. Not a Jew to a lot of my Jewish family. Even though i was raised Jewish. Even though I look like my father. Even though i got enough of something in my DNA to get asked "What are you?" more often than not. More often than I'm just accepted at face value as "white". When i was little we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Like the 5-10 kids in every family sort of Irish catholic neighborhood. The kids calling me a christ killer and refusing to play with me because they heard it from their parents sort of irish catholic neighborhood. For some reason my parents tried to send me to the catholic school down the street. I lasted less than a week because i didn't understand their rituals and their language and they found out my father was a Jew and they couldn't have a christ killer in their midst. I was just sad i didn't get to wear the cute plaid skirt anymore. So i went to the public school and my well meaning shiksa mother who never converted but learned the Chanukah prayers and helped cook Seder dinners came to the school to teach the class about Chanukah. She taught them songs and all the kids got dreidels and had so much fun spinning the top for chocolate coins. It was nice to feel normal. A few weeks later a boy in a higher grade attacked me on the way to the bus and smashed my art project (we had made pig noses from solo cups to celebrate reading charlotte's web) into my face and called me a filthy jew. I didn't understand, i was more upset to lose the project i was so proud of. Other things happened. Things I wont talk about because putting them in context would doxx me. But a million reminders that i wasn't one of them. I wasn't welcome because i was Jewish. My parents divorced. My mother left. Far away so I'd only see her a handful of times growing up. And I went to live with my Dad in a city that seemed like it was overflowing with Jews. Everyone knew my holidays! In public school the teachers looked like my family and had familiar sounding names. We had the high holy days off just like christmas or easter. We sang Chanukah songs in the winter recital and nobody's mom had to come teach them to the class. Finally I belonged! My friends and cousins started planning for their b mitzvah celebrations and i asked for my own. I asked to go to hebrew school so i could be more like the people i belonged with and celebrate the things i loved about myself and them. "But you're not jewish." My father would say. This was news to me. The christ killer. The filthy jew. But a 10 year old has little power over their lives. So i didn't go. I didn't have a bat mitzva while my cousins had theirs. It was okay because i still belonged more than i ever had. But i was still jewish enough to keep the holidays and pray and fast and get sent with a box of matzo to my WASP grandmothers for easter, and have matzo packed in my lunch to eat in AP algebra in 7th grade and get asked if I'm a "Yid" by the teacher. And still to this day not know if it was endearment or insult but by then I knew even in this magical city being a Jew wasn't always safe. in highschool I tried to take hebrew lessons with a friend in a similar situation as me. She was also hungry to reconnect. I don't remember why the classes or the friendship fell through, but they did. My next "friend", a goy raised catholic from another neighborhood, liked to accuse me of being money driven when i picked up a penny on the sidewalk or tried to ask who was going to pay for the zine's she wanted to publish.

 "What are you?" I'd get asked a lot on the street by curious strangers, "Where are you from?" "Are you Italian?" Always Italian. I never really understood that, but its become code in my head for "You look like you're white but something about you is very not white and I just can't place it, so Italian seems safe and polite." I'm not here to unpack the Italian part of all that. I don't even know what I'm unpacking for myself by writing this except I've been sick for days and I'm so tired and this is all that my foggy brain can wrap itself around. Later I'm an adult and on my own and getting bloodwork done. The Nurse is a black woman and so sweet to me. She can tell I'm nervous about the needles because I've already stumbled through my apologies for my herd to find veins. So she distracts me with small talk. Where do i live? I tell her. She looks worried for me. Tells me that it used to be a nice neighborhood before white people took it over and she warns me like she's my own mother to be careful because they aren't safe. I doublecheck the skin she's putting a needle into. Whatever she sees isn't white. I love her for it. For a moment I belong there with her. She doesn't ask what I am or where i'm from, but she knows what i'm not. I'm the only one keeping the holidays with my family. We celebrate Passover because I go home to my fathers and cook the dinner and print out the Haggadah and lead the Seder to the tune of my drunk catholic stepmother eating my food and telling me i'll never be a jew. She's more of a jew than I'll ever be because she grew up in a jewish neighborhood and her friends were all jews and she married a jew and i was just playing pretend. I stopped going home for holidays and they stopped observing anything except Christmas. I marry a goy. "Is he a jew?" is the first thing my father asks and he's disappointed when i say no. He's abusive, i run. I end up living in the attic of this older old money WASP couple who need a live in house sitter. They're pillars of their church and they know someone from the WASP side of my family very well and its a funny coincidence and they think i belong there. I know from their divest from Israel bumper stickers that i don't. Then they find out I consider myself Jewish and i see the light in their eyes die and its replaced by something hard and disappointed. Now, while writing this, i can laugh about being the jew in someone's attic. But then, it was only a few months after that they started coming up with excuses for why I needed to move out. I did, their excuses never manifested into reality. I got married again. A jew this time! a Jewish medical professional liek grandma always wanted. She's a convert and her ex was a rabbinical student. I think maybe i'm home finally. She has to understand. I'm not Jewish enough for her. We don't keep holidays at home because i'm not a jew. I cry every year when pesach comes and goes and i haven't recited the plagues or eaten matzo piled high with horseradish. She insists on putting up a christmas tree. She turns abusive. I run.

I'm alone now and no longer in that magic jewish city. I'm far away and surrounded by mega churches and cows and the bagels suck and people quote the bible at me like some call and response that i don't have the cheat code for and I don't belong here at all but i'm finally finally free to light my menorah and recite the plagues and study torah with the group i found here on tumblr who love and accept me even though i'm patrilineal. Oct. 7th happened a few weeks after I moved here. I worry about my family back home and i think no one will look for Jews here among the cows and mega churches, so I can be a safe place for them to run if things get bad again. But i still don't fit in here. I don't look right. The last name I have now is common here and too white for whatever people see when they look in my face. I get interrogated about it a lot. But i learned quickly how to smile and say "have a blessed day". I hide my menorah when maintenance comes to work on my apartment. I flew home last month. Just for a visit. I've never been away from home this far or this long. And I'm the type that covers nerves and anxiety with chattiness, so at the airport i made a for-now-friend while we both waited for the plane to board. She's Puerto Rican. We talk about our lives. Our families. Her twin sister and i go by the same nickname and so we're family now. We talk about food. So much food and how much we love cooking and how important food was at home. "Are you Italian?" she asks as we're stepping through the hatch into the plane. Why always Italian? I wonder for the millionth time in my life. And I freeze up for a moment between fighting my carry-on over the gap and terror that I'm about to see the light go out behind her eyes and i'll lose this for-now friend. "No," i laugh but its not a real laugh and i see the concern in her face as we squeeze through the aisle because she can hear the apprehension in my voice, "I'm Jewish." And something strange happened because her face lit up and she smiled and said "No way?! You guys have GREAT food!"

[h2llish]

i've been following your blog for a while and absolutely adore your writing!

if its okay i'd love to see something with either leona or jamil (up to you!) and a reader who falls asleep on their shoulder during some sort of nrc road trip.. i'm not sure if nrc would have buses per say considering all the magic and stuff but the concept of an nrc school trip seems super interesting to me so if you're up for the request by all means just have fun with it!! i do notice that your requests are semi open so feel free to decline ofc !

— ☁️

⁀➷ ˖ ROAD TRIP DROWSINESS

notes ─── hi anon! i’m so happy you like my writing! i don't think they'd have buses at nrc because of the mirror, but crowley would probably spring a sudden road trip on them which would just confuse the students, because why? (i also imagine their bus would probably be a bit fancier? idk how to explain it but nothing like the busses i'm used to.)

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR ─── a wave of drowsiness leads you to find comfort on his shoulder ♡ fluff, gender neutral, can be read platonic or romantic, not proofread

transportation for students at nrc was not hard, all they had to do was enter the dark mirror and then they found themselves safely at their destination. so if it was that easy, why in the world was the headmage so adamant that they boarded this bus like they were kids back in middle school? ─ a road trip was his very (might many students say stupid) answer.

the only person who seemed to not have a problem with this sudden turn of events, was the magicless prefect from ramshackle. you didn't give any complaints or groan about using the easy way to get to the destination. you just nodded when the headmage announced the decision.

students were chosen at random, names drawn from a hat (a method the headmage seemed to rely on often).  and as the prefect, and the designated scapegoat for everything crowley did, you were of course among that group, with your dire beast other half. 

“i don't get it,” grim frowned, sitting on your shoulder as you approached the bus, where many familiar faces waited to board. “why can't we just use the mirror?”

ace was walking alongside you, being one of the people drawn to join the group. he had decided to met you at ramshackle, knowing you would inevitably have to board the bus as well. “i think the headmage called it some sort of bonding experience. don't know how a hours-long road will be a bonding experience.”

grim grumbled, turning his head to look at your face. you have yet to say anything to add to the conversation. “whaddya’ think, [name]?”

“what?” you blinked, sending a glance to the dire beast before looking ahead of you once more. “what do i think about what?”

“were you even listening to anything we just said?” ace sighed. 

you hummed, “i’ve learned to tune you guys out the moment you start speaking.” ─ and then you were wincing as the two of them shouted, leaning your head away from the monster as he and ace expressed how offended they were.

you sighed, this was going to be a long ride.

and right you were. 

things were okay (as okay as a group of irritable teenage boys with magic on a bus could be) during the first hour. but as the first hour turned to half, and you found yourself growing drowsy, you attempted to doze off, at least for a good twenty minutes. you were unsuccessful, as the moment you closed your eyes, you were quickly opening them to glance at a yelling grim.

epel and sebek, also being among the names drawn, were sitting next to you. epel and grim looked ready to pounce on an unnamed student who seemed to have picked a fight with them. ace didn't do much to stop the argument, in fact, he was actively encouraging it. and sebek, while he made an attempt to hold back a seething grim, was not of much help either. 

you sighed, but made no move to stop it ─ you expected something to happen eventually, and you weren't all that up to being the “reasonable” one of the group. you aren't sure what the argument was about, but neither did you care. if grim got in trouble for attacking a student, it would come back to bite you, but that was something for future you to worry about.

you glanced around the bus, before your attention landed on the savanaclaw housewarden sitting alone. ─ your friends continued to argue with the random guy, and you were sure they had no intention of ending the argument anytime soon. and you would rather sleep off some time on the road rather than listen to your friends go back and forth with someone you didn't even know the name of. you stood from your seat, uncaring of whether or not it was okay to do so as you approached the empty seat. 

leona had his head down, probably napping, the same thing you wanted to do. when you sat down beside him his ears twitched and he lifted his head to look at you, probably intending to scowl and scare off whoever had been stupid enough to sit beside him, until he realized it was you.

“what are you doing?” he frowned at you, but you went unfazed.

“sitting next to you, obviously.”

leona rolled his eyes, “why?”

instead of giving a verbal answer, you pointed at your friends, where sebek now had a grip on the scruff of grim’s neck, keeping him from jumping at the student. ace was laughing, offering no help to the half-fae. epel was no better than grim, with sebek’s arm held out in front of him, keeping him from doing anything.

"so you came to bother me instead?" he asked, and you looked at him straight-faced.

"yup."

leona sighed, but he didn't tell you to scram (not like you would if he did). he didn't say anything else, only close his eyes again and turning away, likely to try and nap. you weren't offended by his lack of reply, leaning your head back against the seat and trailing your eyes over the bus and your peers.

the longer you sat in somewhat silence ─ save for the incoherent yelling from your friends, you had for the most part zoned out, and the chatter of those on board ─ you found yourself falling to the drowsiness that have been interrupted before. you closed your eyes and let the movement of the bus guide you to sleep.

leona was awake, annoyed by the bus and those on the bus. his ears twitched when he heard your breathing slow beside him and he lifted his head, just as your head lolled to the side and you leaned against his shoulder.

he sighed, but made no move to push you off, glancing around you at the rest of the students of nrc, who were all either sleeping themselves, or chatting with friends. he leaned his head back, eyeing you as you shifted for a moment before relaxing again.

"where'd [name] go?" leona could hear your friends ask, no longer distracted by the argument that they were having with the random student.

he looked back at them, just in time to catch ace's eye, who was the first to see you sleeping against leona. he looked ready to say something, but leona narrowed his eyes on the first year. ace immediately shut his mouth, grinning awkwardly as he turned back to his friends.

leona huffed, looking back down at you to make sure you didn't stir. he adjusted in more comfortable position, an arm resting behind you on the seat, allowing you to lean closer, and hopefully, be more comfortable than leaning against his shoulder the way you had. and then he closed his eyes and joined you in a nap for the rest of the ride. (at least until they stopped for a break.)

this wasn't proofread so there will be probably be mistakes, i'll try to come back to edit later!

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[absolutebl]

BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think the Statue of Secrecy in the Harry Potter books should be broken?

I mean, that's an interesting question, and not one I'm sure I (or anyone else for that matter) is qualified to answer. It's sort of like asking "should a large and fundamental part of a culture change". It can change, and there'd be fallout from that, and the result would be something entirely different.

What I will say is the statute of secrecy, at least as we see it in Britain, sets up a potentially dangerous state of affairs for a civilization and especially one that is insistent on remaining ignorant of its neighbors.

There's a technical term for this that I'm completely forgetting at the moment but the idea is that if you have an extremely small civilization, in which there is also extreme isolation, then that civilization's technology not only tends not to progress but also regresses. This is a matter of population and knowledge being lost (you don't necessarily have 1-1 replacement for skills and techniques to retain what the civilization knows) and difficulty in innovating for similar reasons.

Now, wizarding Britain isn't quite this, and that's because we have Half-bloods and Muggle-borns. The population is ridiculously small, with Harry's class in Hogwarts being around ~30 total and no matter how JKR tries to convince me there's thousands at Hogwarts we only seem to see 100s if we're being generous, and the "pure" wizarding families being even smaller (~30 families many of which have died out). But we also get a few Muggle-borns every year and we get Half-bloods from magical people marrying Muggles either directly or those who came from Muggles two generations or less ago. We see technology transferred in from the Muggle world and accepted at large in the train for the Hogwarts Express, the Knight Bus, cameras, and radios.

There is technological transfer as well as some diversity in genetics.

The problem comes in that the wizarding world by isolating itself is incredibly vulnerable to diseases (dragon pox is noted as basically having wiped out Harry's grandparent's generation) and conflict (Voldemort's responsible for the ending of several cornerstone family lines). One bad famine, war, and epidemic could end the wizarding world the way it is now.

As it is, they may already be at a breaking point and not realize it, if enough of the families died out. (The Weasleys can't supply 3/4 of the population and you have to have someone there already to teach Muggle-borns magic in the first place).

There's also the issue that by isolating themselves so strictly the wizards have no idea how Muggles work or the state of the Muggle world. Arthur is painted as the best we see and he's offensively bad, it's a common gag how little he understands about the Muggle world as a Pureblood wizard. While people like Hermione and Harry are better, they also stopped their Muggle schooling at 11 and both spend as much time in the wizarding world as they can even during the few times they're sent back to the Muggle world. This is especially dangerous as Harry and Hermione think they understand the Muggle world extremely well, and while they're better than Ron, they're not the same as someone who is a Muggle, especially after they become adult wizards and have no reason to interact with the Muggle world anymore.

So we get a superficial understanding of Muggle technology (they know certain things exist, especially obvious physical devices, but their solution to making them work is to enchant them to float and they think they've got it) and basically 0 understanding of anything else.

We do see some crossover in that the Prime Minister has a direct line to the Minister of Magic, but we also see that it's a "you don't call us, we'll call you" type relationship in that the Prime Minister has been trying for ages to figure out what the fuck is going on when Fudge and Scrigemore finally show up and go "Oh, yeah, there's a changeover and we have a terrorist back who's going to fuck your shit up. Sorry". It's very clearly a position meant to shut the Muggles up and have their aid when the wizarding world needs something from them, not the other way around, which is bad relations (seen in canon, the PM was not a fan) and also makes it clear that the wizards don't care what the Muggles do or what they're up to so long as they do it off their lawn.

And that means... well, things could get spicy without the wizarding world having any means of warning.

Not to mention, of course, that it's barely being kept in place. We have canonical villages of obliviated people who act a little funny in the head because the wizards didn't want to move/wanted to feel progressive by living with Muggles. We have Harry alone causing a number of incidents such as flying a car over half the country with the obliviators then having to obliviate said half of the country. We have Muggle-borns popping up with the Ministry seeming to have no means of keeping track of them without the Hogwarts letter. We have a complete lack of understanding of recent Muggle technology (guys, a very small percentage of people actually understand how computers work, how information is stored, how it's replicated across the web, don't tell me that someone with a primary education up to age 11 understands all the nuance of computers. You may get one or two, but it's not going to be many and they're probably not going to have Ministry jobs because they're going to probably be Muggle-born and maybe, maybe, Half-blood).

So, basically, I think the statute of secrecy is unsustainable. They're rolling dice keeping it in place and one of those days they're going to roll for something that will not allow it to hold.

Does that mean it should be torn down?

Again, that's that "should" thing we got into at first, things would change, it'd get very messy and very ugly, but it's a change and not something I can really ascribe morality to one way or another. It just is.

[darlingseraa]

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

I remember a time when the end of a year was a magical time. It began with me being anxious for Halloween to finally come, so I could wear that beautiful princess dress my mother had sewn by hand for me. When the day came at the tail end of October, I would cry if my parents made me wear my winter coat over my dress– I wanted everyone to see how beautiful it was and how amazing my mom was for making it by hand. And yes, where I live, we got snow well before Halloween even came around– some years, we’d have snowfall in late September or early October, and other years, the snow came late. One thing was sure, however, and that was that we would have snow by Halloween.

Hence why my parents would make me wear my winter coat to go trick-or-treating, most Halloweens.

To me, Halloween meant pillowcases full of candy to eat throughout the coming year, until the next Halloween came around and I’d go trick-or-treating with my family once again, and haul two to three more pillowcases full of candy back home. It meant that the best neighbourhood to go trick-or-treating in was the one where the family on the corner street turned their yard into a giant haunted house, complete with people dressed as Hellraiser and Freddie Krueger to scare the kids and parents daring to venture in. It meant meeting up with friends who were just as dressed up for the occasion as I was. It meant teachers and students alike would come to school in costume on the day before the holiday –or during the day of Halloween itself if it was in the middle of a school week–, and it made that school day that much more fun.

And then, when Halloween came to an end, the spooky decorations would be taken down and stored away for another year. Things would be quiet for a week or two.

And then, Christmas would begin.

Yes, Christmas began two weeks after Halloween for me and my family.

I remember that, back then around mid-November, my house’s yard would be covered in snow 1 to 2 feet thick. Yes, you read that right. My dad would wake up early in the morning, take the snowblower out the shed, and he would clear out as much snow as he could from the driveway, so that he and my mom could go to work, and so my brother and I wouldn’t have to trudge through the snow to get to the school bus on time. I remember my dad building my brother and I a wooden ramp on which snow would land during snowstorms, and that we’d pack down and drench in water to create an icy slide we could play on during the winter months. I remember going skiing in powdery snow, the type of snow that acted as a cushion and made falls practically painless. I remember skating on the Rideau Canal in Ottawa, I remember going to the Village Valcartier snowpark at least once every two or three years.

I remember the beginning of winter being a sign of good days to come, because I loved winter.

And to me, the entire season felt like Christmas.

Because, by mid-November, my house was alight with decorations for the coming holidays.

I remember being overjoyed whenever I saw my parents taking out these big plastic bins from the closet downstairs, in which all of our Christmas decorations were stored throughout the year. I remember the bright red duffel bag in which our artificial Christmas tree was stored, and how there were always fake pine needles everywhere as soon as we’d open it. I remember having to unfurl every single little branch on this monster of a tree, and then wrapping it in garlands of lights, adorning it with ribbons and all sorts of ornaments and knick-knacks.

There’s this one place in the entire province of Québec that we loved to visit– it was a Christmas shop located in Saint-Sauveur, in a region called the Laurentides. Every year, we’d go there and look around excitedly. I remember my parents bought my brother and I an ornament each, almost every time we’d go– once, I chose a little dressage rider on her chestnut horse, because I was convinced that I would one day have a horse of my own and I would become a top tier rider. Another year, they got me a huge trebble clef covered in gold holo glitter, because of my love for music. And another year, they bought me a fragile little ornament representing a ballerina frozen mid-arabesque, for my love of ballet.

And then, during the car ride home, I'd look out my window at the perfect winter scenery as we drove past.

At home, we’d decorate the tree, and then hang these little doorknob snowmen that my mother had handcrafted years ago. Then, we’d wrap a pine garland around the ramps on the stairs. And when that was done, we’d head outside and cover the house in Christmas lights.

And then it would be Christmas until late January the next year.

Everywhere we’d go, stores and houses alike were all adorned in their finest Christmas gear, and were a sight to behold. Some had inflatable santas and reindeer, others had Nativity scenes, others had a Northern Star light perched on their roof. And in the car, or in stores, the radio would blast Christmas music into your ears.

I remember listening to all these Christmas songs and thinking they were all so magical. That I could never get tired of them, because the singers all sang about how wonderful the holidays are, how their hearts were full of cheer, how cozy it was to sit next to chestnuts roasting on an open fire. They would sing about how we should just let it snow, about how Santa knew when you were sleeping or awake, about how they had a dream of a beautiful, white Christmas. My mother had a collection of Christmas CDs that she’d keep with her in her car, and whenever we’d go somewhere, we’d listen to them.

“White Christmas” was my favourite, because it made me think about how excited I was throughout the rest of the year for winter to come around, and for Christmas to bring joy and cheer to us once again. My mom would often tell me how it was my late grandpa's favourite Christmas song, too. I never learned its true meaning until recently– to me, it simply was about how the singer dreamt of having a Christmas just like he used to know, like when he was a kid.

A bit like the feeling I got this year, during the holidays.

Ten years ago, when I was sixteen, I started to see changes in the seasons, especially during winter. I noticed that it wouldn’t come as early as it used to. By Halloween, the best we could hope for was a day or night without rain. There was no snow in sight. Mid-November at the earliest would be when snowfall would begin.

And then, with the beginning of winter regressing well into the tail-end of November, so did the beginning of Christmas, in mine and my family’s eyes.

We wouldn’t decorate as much, or as early as we used to. We’d just leave the Christmas lights on the house for the next year, but not light them before the next time the holidays came around. One year, we tried getting a real Christmas tree, and though it was amazing to have the house smell like fresh pine until we had to take the tree out after the holidays, it just didn’t feel as magical.

It almost felt like the excitement I got from Christmas was directly related to how much snow we had that year.

So you can imagine how exciting Christmas was for me, these past few years where December was nearly as green as a golf course green in the middle of summer.

As I write this, there are literally barely two inches of snow covering the ground in my backyard.

Two. Inches.

That’s literally nothing.

I saw a post that one of my mutuals reblogged that mentioned this, about how Christmas songs nowadays are mostly reprises of the classics. And these classics reference a time that people these days can only remember. Children and future generations will never know the kind of winter we had back in the day. The ones where we’d play King of the Mountain with the other kids in the school yard because the administration had the snow cleared out, but the workers packed it in one spot in the entire yard instead of shoving it somewhere else. They’ll never know what it’s like to watch the news in the morning and see that their school is closed because of recent snowstorms causing trouble on the roads. They’ll never know the excitement of waking up one day in early November, and seeing a thick sheet of snow covering the ground outside.

They'll never know what a true snow day is like.

Nowadays, if I wanted to experience a winter like this again, I’d have to travel far up north.

I’d. Have. To. Travel.

When in previous years, I wouldn’t have had to, because these winters happened here, where I live.

And I wish I didn’t have to travel in order to have such an experience again.

Nowadays, winter is just another word for rainfall. Because that’s all we get– rainstorm after rainstorm. We barely get to see the snowflakes falling from the cloudy skies anymore. There’s no feeling of joy at witnessing the first of many snowfalls of the year, because I know that it’s only temporary. That there won’t be more snow piling up on top of it. I will likely never again wake up and feel joy at the sight of a fresh, untouched blanket of snow waiting for me outside, because there are no thick blankets of freshly fallen snow where I live anymore. The season’s become too warm for those to last.

I hate what winter has become.

I hate that it’s cold, but not cold enough to keep the snow around like it did before.

I hate that it’s wet, but not wet because the snow melted into my supposedly waterproof snowsuit– it's wet because of the rain.

I hate that the sky is almost always gray with rainclouds and not snowclouds.

I. Hate. It.

But what can one person do to change it?

Not much, I’m afraid.

The shift in seasons and climate change has killed what used to be the most amazing time of year for me.

It killed my love for winter. It killed my love for Christmas.

And it has tainted what little memories I retain from past Christmasses with a nostalgia and a sadness that I can only describe as painful, because I know I may never experience it again in my lifetime. And I'll only be 26 years old this year.

So these days, I don’t decorate anymore. I don’t listen to Christmas songs unless they’re blasted at work, on repeat, until I’m so fed up with them that I get angry when I come back the next day and hear them playing still. I don’t feel joy at seeing the slightest amount of snow on the ground, because I know that soon enough, rain will wash it away.

All I do is dream of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know.

–––

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry this post is so long. I just saw something on my timeline and had a lot of Big Feelings(tm) about it that I thought of sharing. The holidays this year have been a big disappointment on my end, for many reasons which I won't mention here. But the main reason is explained throughout this post.

If you've read through this entire thing, I am very grateful that you took the time to do so!

[thejilyship]

I miss when the first Reggi I thought of was Mary’s bf Reginald Cattermole

I refuse to acknowledge who else it could be referring to

Mary had dandelion hair and a sunshine smile. That's what her grandfather had always told her. Especially when she was running around the field behind his farmhouse, barefoot, knees scraped up, and her tongue died purple from the freezer pop she'd scarfed down when her mom wasn't looking.

The magic had started small at first. And Mary, who believed in fairies who stole lucky pennies and goblins who ate leftovers, didn't think that she had anything to do with what happened.

Her favorite book would appear on her nightstand after she spent the whole night looking for it. She would wake up and it would be there, waiting for her. It never rained on her birthday. Her favorite flowers always grew better than anything else in the garden.

When she was eight, there was a big storm that knocked over a bunch of trees on the farm, but the one that held her rope swing was safe.

She never missed the bus, she always had an extra stick of gum, she never lost her keys, she always managed to find another biscuit in the cupboard. It was all little things.

And then she was invited to a magic school, and it felt like her luck was expanding. She made friends with a girl who shared stories with her back and forth, of small previously unexplainable bursts of magic.

She learned to control it. She learned all kinds of things, and even when it had an explanation, it still felt like magic.

And then she met him.

A boy. Seemingly innocuous. Her skated under her radar for the first six years of school, even though he'd been there the entire time. With his soft brown hair, darling brown eyes, and a smile that made her knees forget how to keep her upright. And for some reason, one day in her sixth year, she finally saw him while walking back toward her dormitory, from the library.

It felt like a movie. One of those cheesy romance ones that her and Lily stayed up talking about, giggling and poking fun because nothing that happened in those films ever happened in real life.

But then there was this boy. And he smiled at her, and if Lily hadn't had her arm linked through Mary's she would have stepped into the trick step on the staircase and made a complete and utter fool of herself. He smiled at her and her heart was too loud. Boom. Boom. Boom. He smiled and it was a summer rainstorm.

"Excuse me," Mary sat down across from him, at the Hufflepuff table, the next morning at breakfast. "But what is your name?"

The boy blinked those chocolate brown eyes at her and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Mary wanted to reach over and push the corner up further, she wanted to trace her finger around the shape of it, she wanted to memorize it and have it tucked away in her brain, in her heart, for always.

"Unfortunately, it's Cattermole." He said, and he picked up a spoon and dunked it in his tea. He started stirring it as he looked over her face. "Reginald Cattermole." One corner of his mouth was still turned up, but the other turned down, like he was apologizing.

Mary smiled at him. "I don't think I'm going to call you that." And since he had apologized for his name, she thought it was alright if she gave him a nickname. She reached across the table and took his cup of tea, spoon and all. He looked a little surprised, or maybe more than a little surprise. He'd sort of frozen in place when she'd smiled at him.

She took a drink of the tea and scrunched her nose. "Needs more sugar." She said, setting the cup back down in the middle of the table. She kept her hands around it and looked at Reginald Cattermole.

He blinked in rapid succession and then nodded. He reached for the sugar bowl and scrambled a bit for a new spoon to use. "You're not going to call me by my name?" He asked as he dumped another spoonful of sugar into the cup.

Mary shook her head as she slowly stirred the sugar around, looking down at the tea to watch the dark liquid funnel in the center. "No."

"Okay." He said, separating the word into two distinct syllables. "Are you going to tell me your name?"

Mary tried the tea again, looking at him over the rim of the cup. It was better now. The water was just the right temperature, her tea always was, and she looked at him until he squirmed.

"You're Mary MacDonald." He reached up and rubbed at the back of his neck. "We've had classes together since first year. I know who you are."

It didn't seem fair. That he had known of her for six years and she was only just now becoming aware of him. He should have introduced himself ages ago. He should have planted himself in her path when they were eleven years old, dug roots down deep into the earth and informed her of his existence.

Reginald Cattermole.

The shape of his name felt wrong to her. It didn't suit him. It was probably his grandfathers name, or his grandfather's grandfather's name. It wasn't his name.

She took another sip of the tea and then passed the cup back to him. "I am Mary MacDonald." She nodded, resting her elbows on the edge of the table and covering them with her hands as she leaned forward. "Is that what your going to call me?"

Reginald Cattermole let out a hollow laugh. "What is this? Did your mates put you up to this? Potter or Black? Are they having a laugh?"

Mary narrowed her eyes and leaned back. "No."

He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "Then what is this? Why did you come over here?" He turned his head to the left, and then to the right, looking up and down the table, waiting for someone to offer an explanation.

Mary frowned and took a deep breath. She'd always thought it was best to be honest. "Why did I come over here? You smiled at me yesterday and I almost fell down the stairs. I've composed myself and now I'm here." She shrugged a shoulder and then reached for the teacup again.

Reginald Cattermole blinked rapidly again and then leaned further over the table. "I smiled at you?"

"Yesterday." Mary felt slightly putout now. He had to remember because she hadn't been able to forget. "We passed one another on the stairs."

"I know." He said quickly.

"Okay." She said, pleased.

"Okay." He gave her a single nod. "And now you're here. Because I smiled at you? But you're not going to use my name."

"You have a really nice smile." She was smiling now. "Bit like thunder." Boom. Boom. Her heart echoed in her ears. He looked like he was frozen again. "How about Reg?" She scrunched up her nose in distaste. "I can't call you Cattermole."

He shook his head. "A lot of people call me Reg. Thunder?"

She nodded. "How about Cat?"

"No one calls me that."

"That's because it doesn't suit you."

"Mary?" She liked how her name sounded wrapped up in his soft voice. Warm and safe. Summer rain.

"Yes?"

She didn't think he'd worked out what his question was yet, but that was alright. She smiled at him again, her sunshine leaking out of her. She felt like she might be glowing.

She decided to answer his question, even if he didn't know how to ask it. "My grandfather, he always said that my smile was sunshine. Bright and warm. Yours is like thunder. It rattles my chest and," She took a deep breath, suddenly feeling like she might be sharing a bit too much. "And it echoes."

The corner of his mouth was pushing up again and Mary's smile widened.

"Your smile is sunshine." He agreed.

"I know." Mary nodded. "So, are you going to ask me out? I could ask you if you want, but I figure, I should give you the chance."

He laughed, a bright, sharp sound, that seemed to strike her in the chest like a bolt of lightening. She didn't want him to stop. "That's awfully nice of you." He rubbed at the back of his neck again. "Mary MacDonald, do you want to go out some time?"

Mary bit down on the tip of her tongue and nodded. "Yes. Probably very soon."

"Yes." He agreed. "Probably very soon." He blinked at her, like he wasn't sure if this was really happening. But he was still smiling at her and her heart was still thundering in her ears.

"Reggie." She slid the teacup back to him. "I think that's what I'll call you." He took the teacup and looked from it back to her, his cheeks were tinted pink.

"Alright." He was good at agreeing with her. "And I'll call you Mary."

"That's a good choice." She grinned.

He smiled back and then took a sip of the tea. He winced. "That's too much sugar."

Well, he couldn't agree with her about everything.

[rollercoasterwords]

ok here's the essay re: "realisitc?? they're literally wizards!!"

upon further reflection (25 min voicenote 2 twin, 1 conversation w 2 friends) i think i have. managed 2 organize + articulate my thoughts.

obligatory disclaimer: this literally does not matter i'm talking about hp fanfiction in 2023 this is not a serious issue beyond being like. kind of annoying. unfortunately i just enjoy writing abt stupid fandom discourse hopefully going back 2 school will cure me of the incessant need 2 write essays for fun but who knows. anyway me writing this essay is not me saying this is a huge or important issue i just like 2 talk <3

anyway! the ~discourse~ i've been noticing in the marauders fandom, which from my pov has had sort of an uptick recently (although who knows if that's objectively true--maybe i've just stumbled across more of it. from where i'm sitting, though, it seems like it's become more of a hot topic in recent months) generally goes as follows:

person a: omg ugh i hate that in [x fic] [x character] has/is/does [x flaw] :(

person b: oh well [x character] having/being/doing [x flaw] makes the story more realistic

person a: UM they're literally wizards at a magic school lol....who cares if it's realistic....

and the reason this both interests + annoys me is that i think. giving person a the benefit of the doubt + assuming they aren't being purposely obtuse (bc in that case we're just talking abt trolls), it demonstrates such a gap in understanding. bc the thing person a is fighting w that response is literally a strawman

the strawman:

saying "um they're literally wizards" is only a "gotcha" moment if it's pointing out an inconsistency in person b's thinking. it is only pointing out an inconsistency if, when person b says "it makes it more realistic," we take that to mean that person b is saying "a story is better if it more closely matches our own reality." in that case, saying "they're wizards!!!" points out an inconsistency, bc obviously characters being wizards does not match reality. gotcha!!!

the problem is that that isn't what person b is saying. so by responding "they're wizards" as if that's some sort of "gotcha" moment, person a is misinterpreting person b's argument, constructing a strawman that nobody is actually arguing, and then tearing down that strawman with a pithy little sarcastic comment that positions them as soooo much more reasonable than person b.

so what is person b actually saying?

the problem is that saying "[x character] having [x flaw] makes a story more realistic" is not an argument about the story being better, it's an explanation for why someone would write the story that way.

another disclaimer - some "person b"s in this situation might, in fact, be using "it's more realistic" to try and argue that a story being more realistic makes the story better; however, that is not a position i'm going to be defending here. i think any argument that roots itself in a so-called "objective" measure of what makes a piece of art better or worse is a non-starter, and in that case i think person b and person a are perhaps both misguided in different ways.

but what's happening from person b's pov is - person a asks "why would anyone write [x character] with [x flaw]?" person b tries to answer that question by explaining: well, it makes the story more realistic. the implication here is -- a story being more realistic is a personal preference that some people are going to prefer; people write + read stories for different reasons. this is the reason that i enjoy the story, personally. that's it!

and the thing is, "realistic" in the context of a fantasy story does not mean "matches real life exactly." in the context of fantasy, "realistic" refers, in my mind, to two things:

1. cohesive internal logic

even within a fantasy universe, there are going to be structured societies, rules, laws of natures, etc. what makes a fantasy story more realistic is not how closely it adheres to real-life structures + rules, but how closely it adheres to its own established structures + rules - its own internal logic.

for example: in my fantasy world, fairies can fly but mermaids can't. then, suddenly, without explanation, i write a scene where a mermaid can fly. this makes the story less realistic, in that it breaks from its own internal logic, and stretches the limits of readers' abilities to suspend their disbelief. like - we've already sort of "agreed" to suspend disbelief about fairies + mermaids existing, because that's just the established norm of the story, but as readers we are still looking to follow some internal logic. oftentimes, when people are complaining about fantasy stories being more or less realistic, they are referring to the story's own internal logic.

this means if someone is writing hp fanfic set in a canon universe, working in the established canon universe where certain biases + flaws exist, it makes the fic more realistic to adhere to that internal logic. obviously, a fic writer can choose to change that internal logic and say, for example, "in my story the wizarding world doesn't have homophobia, and that's an established societal norm that is part of the story's internal logic." that's fine! it's just a matter of personal choice whether that's the story that somebody wants to write or not, y'know?

2. reflection on real life

the other aspect of "realism" that i think people are referring to when they talk about a fantasy story being more or less "realistic" is the ways in which that story does reflect actual reality. like--fantasy stories don't exist in a vaccuum. many writers use fantasy stories to reflect realities from actual life; things like prejudice or oppression or war, etc. placing these real-life issues into a fantastical setting allows a new lens through which to think about them, pushing us to examine them from different angles.

for example - take k.a. applegate's animorphs series. it is, in many ways, completely unrealistic, in that it's about kids who can turn into animals fighting off an alien invasion. but k.a. applegate wrote the books to demonstrate the utter horror and devastation of war, and much of the subject matter reflects real-life wartime situations. a kid who only hears about war through the news or through action movies where there's a clear good guy and bad guy, a clear right and wrong, might find it easy to disregard the horror. but when applegate took those real-life situations and placed them into the fantastical setting of animorphs, she's providing an age-appropriate way for children to understand that no, war is not an action movie, it's a horror story.

this is why "realism" in fantasy matters to people. some writers are using fantasy not as pure escapism, but as a way to explore real-life issues through a different lens, one that may allow people to empathize with an issue in a way they normally don't. obviously, some people are just writing fantasy for fun escapism -- and that's fine! there's space for both types of stories to exist simultaneously; what doesn't make sense is assuming that just because somebody engages with media differently from you, there must be something wrong with it.

anyway. the conclusion to all this i suppose is that i think if you genuinely do not understand why someone would write a character a certain way, rather than assuming the worst or assuming there's no good reason it's generally better to like. actually ask and listen to the answer people are giving u + try to understand where they're coming from. not everyone is going to want to read the same types of stories, and somebody writing a character w certain flaws shouldn't feel like a personal attack, bc fandom is a self-curated experience where u literally don't need 2 read or write anything u don't want to. The End

[gaykarstaagforever]

New Mutants #42 from 1986 is 20+ pages, and there is HALF of one action scene, right at the beginning. And it's Sam Guthrie having a daydream on a bus, because he's worried that his mother won't like his cool rock'n'roll-singing English mutant girlfriend.

You're CANNONBALL. You can FLY. That is the ONLY THING you do. And you're on a BUS to Kentucky, because "WAAAAH! PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO MUTANTS!"

God I hate this thing that Marvel did, and...continues to do, all the time. People with fantastic abilities, moping because Kevin Fatass down the street in his stinky baseball cap and Crocs is racist about their magical powers.

Why do you care? Why would ANYONE care?? Magneto is right! Shoot them all with lasers and conquer the world!

"IT'S A RACISM METAPHOR!"

Yes, a racism metaphor that erases nearly all people of color and replaces them with tall sexy white people who can throw fireballs. Written exclusively by old white people, who don't know what a racism even is, because their attempts to write comics about it are themselves very racist.

If it's a racism metaphor, it is a terrible one, done badly.

What it seems more like is a metaphor for self-loathing nerds who are perpetually upset that sexy women don't take them seriously because they make comics for a living, because they don't appreciate how cool that is, ACTUALLY.

Any superhero who is upset because boring average nobodies who are clearly bigoted idiots don't like them is an automatic fail for me. I don't sympathize, because why would anyone? This isn't them being oppressed by a powerful system of patriarchal white supremacy that takes from them and bans them from participating. You have god-powers. Make the dipshits worship you. The rules of your universe are totally different.

"I'm sad because I'm special when I just want to be exactly like everyone else, who demonstrably sucks" is you being part of the damn problem. Stop ruining fun superheroes with this hack shit.

God this pisses me off.

Also, every single problem Cannonball has in this "story" is because he is being a narcissistic, toxic misogynist. He treats his mother like crap, and his girlfriend like crap, and beats up his brother for pointing out that the brother and their mom have been managing this farm and their 6 siblings fine without him for awhile now. No one told you to drop out of school and take over, Sam. As his mother finally tells him in the end. Idiot.

He also accuses his girlfriend of theft based on nothing, breaks up with her after this one fight, and they only make up after she nearly dies in a plane crash. That he of course blames on himself. Because it must always be about YOU, Sam.

He supposedly learns something here, but he also gets everything he wants and suffers no negative consequences whatsoever. I mean, that's a realistic outcome for a handsome blonde man from the South. But I don't know why we needed a comic book about it.

This is his girlfriend using her advanced mutant powers to alter her appearance so Sam doesn't have to worry about his mom not liking her. ...After his mom makes it clear she absolutely isn't a bigot. Because this idiot doesn't listen to anyone, ever.

...I'm just ranting now. But everything about this is annoying. And the art is fine, but I don't like this sort of patchy ink style that was all-the-rage in the 80s. It isn't helping my mood.

Maybe the Letters page will have some funny ancient nerd argument that I can

OH GODDAMN IT.

(Claremont's reply to this is "you didn't read the whole arc," which she obviously didn't. He was actually being slightly more nuanced about things in that story. That said, his point with doing the arc in question was to say that the only solution to all long-standing race wars based on colonialism is for both sides to accept their shared humanity and value peace. Which, while technically a real solution, is something you only contribute to the discussion if you have zero stake in it, no appreciation of what is actually going on and why, no knowledge of the warring parties's demands, and should shut up and mind your own goddamn American business, Chris. It's like telling depressed people their problem is they should be happier, or telling a fat person they should try eating less. Stfu and go back to trying to get Racist Kevin to think you're cool, Chris.)

[dredshirtroberts]

my dreams lately tend to be pretty anxious (because i'm moving soon and my brain HATES this - also my birthday is coming up and I have Very Complex Feelings about my birthday as an event. very excited about getting older), and also very vivid. I've been remembering the vast majority of them rather detailed rather than the Notion Something Bad Happened which has been the case for most of the winter so far.

Last night i was being chased by cops through an area where every city was a different decade - like just stuck in that decade. It was also a video game? Mainly because i was encouraged to pull a McElboys and kill someone on accident because i didn't know how the controls worked yet, and then i had the cops from specifically the 1970s city after me because i had done a death to someone. So I'm hiding and hoping to reach the next city over, and spend a lot of time attempting to hide from the authorities. We finally make it to the next city over and realize it's the 1950s and we wanted to actually go the *other* direction to the 1990s at *least* so we have to GO BACK through the 1970s city, which is also the city where the college my sister went to is located for some reason and is also a city that runs on Musical Rules.

We can't get caught if we get the student populace to start singing so we can blend in.

There's also demons following us and attempting to capture us? I had magic that appeared like Falin's magic in Dungeon Meshi to take care of it and I could just eliminate them from existence but the magic didn't work on the cops or I would have done that.

I kept making all sorts of new friends who were doing their best to help me, and in the other cities people assumed I was one of them, instead of me which helped. But as soon as we were back in the one from the 70s i had to be super sneaky again.

Anyway... felt like sharing that the time-cops didn't get me and i got to scare the fuck out of my school bus driver from when i was a small child (he was driving the school bus we were on to try and get through the 1970s area faster, but we had to get off right before the university which was at the edge of the city) which was fun because he was kind of an asshole IRL and maybe shouldn't have been driving kids around.

also i doubt that in the 1950s diners were considered High Society Hangouts where people did dress exchanges between each other if you couldn't afford a nice enough dress. but that was kind of a fun element to it all.

[cutiecorner]

🦖

( I'm gonna combine some other asks with this one! )

🦖 do you like learning while regressed? If so, how?

I do, so much!!! I love watching educational TV, like zaboomafoo and magic school bus, and i like watching educational YouTube videos!! I also learn Spanish, like nursery songs and activity sheets!!

🐡 What is your favorite small activity?

Hmm, I think activity sheets or making moodboards/collages!! I love to learn Spanish, and ooooo pictures pretty

🧸 do you have a special interest/topic you really like (especially while small)? Share about it!

Batman!!! I love batman so much. I watch all sorts of batman while I'm small. I like the original animated series the best, but also the 2004 series!! I haven't finished that one yet.

🐟 What is a positive trigger for your regression?

Oooough, people calling me nicknames. My friend greeted me with "hello love bug" one time and I melted into a puddle.

Thank y'all for asking 💕

[omegatheunknown]

15 Questions For 15 Mutuals

Are you named after anyone?

No, but if i had been afab, I would've had to wear Jocasta, which is an impressively heavy mantle.

Do you have kids?

In this economy?

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only at work.

When was the last time you cried?

Across the spiderverse got me a bit, but Saturday morning we watched one hunded and one dalmatians and thinking about the fellowship of the animals helping reunite the family really got to me.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Energy, posture, vibe.

Eye color?

Sorta hazel.

What sports do you/have you played?

Played box lacrosse, basketball and tennis until I didn't want to be around the kids who played sports in high school. Which is lamentable, in retrospect.

Any special talent?

Mostly silly memory tricks. A few times I've managed to tell someone i've met for the second time, many years later, exactly when and where and who else was present/introducing us when we met one time before. So... trivia, I've got you covered -- Countries of the world? Stanley Cup Winners? Presidents? Every premise of every episode of TNG or the magic school bus? Usually able to remember things on the basis of remembering when and where I learned them. Have been accused of never forgetting anything ever, but that feels the opposite of true, though maybe I'm just more aware than is typical of everything I have forgotten, for some of the same reasons. Should also point out that I've gotten lost walking home a few different times in my life, so... we all have different talents.

Where were you born?

Calgary, AB

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings mostly. Prefer comedies, at this point in my life.

Do you have any pets?

Sandwich is my partner's familiar, but she counts:

How tall are you?

About 184cm.

What are your hobbies?

TTRPGs, writing, reading, being terminally online, watching/arguing about pro wrestling, cooking/baking new things, sometimes i draw comics.

Favorite subject in school?

in senior year i was allowed to take a class called 'script writing' which was essentially spending an extra hour a day in the theatre department working on literally whatever and occasionally directing freshmen. led to hilarious days where i'd have theatre, film, scriptwriting, free block, lunch, then english lit. best university elective was probably either obituary writing or a film class based on the works of the coen brothers and jim jarmusch.

Dream job?

Talk show host. Roddenberry-esque creator of a thing people love enough to keep going well beyond my paltry limitations and see grow and invert and reinvent itself decades on.

I was tagged by @unbound-shade

I'm going tag, sans obligations, my 15 most recent mutuals. Which is to say, I don't know much about you even to know if you do these sorts of tumblr socializing games. Presumably most of you are mutuals because you like my smut blog but feel free to ignore me! @kittencrack @alexisairhead @cuckoosnestblog @strawbabiezs @witchybibabe @soft-greengoddess @submi55ive-kitten @vera-vondoom @eldritchhbagel @dolliespit @the-harpy-celaeno @sunniedayzxo @dinedwithwolves @420xbabydollx @ripescrumptiouspeach

[thegoobiedoober]

hee hee hoo hoo

Do not click Keep Reading unless you're ready for one doozy of a post

In all seriousness, I'd like to write something that will be a sort of avatar of me, something fit to serve as the role I wish to play, something playfully chaotic, but fitting to the fandom I wish to remain with.

some inspirations I have for some of the posts I have written include, but are not limited to:

Merasmus (tf2)

Zim (invader zim)

maybe Fischl? (genshin impact)

Heinz Doofenshmirtz (phineas and ferb)

As you can see, the lineup is pretty chaotic (insert sarcastic comment about the list being short).

But enough with that.

For the new avatar/lbpsona, I would like to try and improve on the pattern of speech as shown by this post right here.

I'm smelling the wacky glamour of a wizard-warlock who loves the aesthetic that Evil has, but does not take Evil seriously enough to commit actually heinous acts. The Harmless, F in Evil, Card-carrying villain who's not actually a villain, ya dig?

So!

With the general outline of the avatar's personality out of the way, let's go on to actually look at some characters who's designs I really love.

1. @lacking-hydration's lbp narrator design

This one is mostly because I like the face stickers and the footwear. I do like the energy this gives off though.

2. Leslie from DHMIS

This is because of the crazy and wacky colors (and the crazy patchwork stuff)

Both pieces are by different people, and check them both out if you can.

alternatively, here are some actual images of the in show character

3. Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus (og)

Because this is part of the zany energy I am looking for

4 Mettaton EX from Undertale

I should not have to explain why

5 Merasmus from TF2

Because despite the fact this guy looks serious, he's actually a very incompetent doofus wizard/warlock thing.

...

C'mon, this design literally screams evil, what do you want?

Aaannnndddd

That's about the most stuff I can bring myself to put together.

please tell me what direction I should go because this whole attempt at organizing my ideas is turning into a mess, I need help.

if you have any suggestions, please reblog this so that I can get a grasp at what I am dealing with.

[pjunicornart]

Hi! Read this please!

Welcome to my playground! You'll mostly see art here, as I am an artist. This is your warning: I AM NOT STRICTLY SFW. I post whatever I feel like, and that includes NSFW art/potentially triggering artwork. Rest assured they will be tagged and marked properly.

My commissions are open! Before you request a commission from me, please refer to this post: here.

About roleplaying: Not currently looking to do that sort of thing. I might make a blog dedicated to that in the future. But for now, no roleplays, sorry!

Send me asks! I take requests, and I love answering questions!

Please use she/they pronouns when addressing me, and you can call me PJ or Rosey. I'm 20, queer (aroace), suspected autistic, and a huge chocoholic.

Right now I'm working on Student's Echoes, a take on the Undertale NaJ AU owned by Dreamy's Mess, with some extra l o r e. You can check out Student's Echoes here: @studentsechoes

On this blog, I am working on Researcher Lewis. A very dark, twisted version of Lewis from Meet the Robinsons. Yes, he will be connected to my other major project (Student's Echoes). How? You'll have to wait and see... This is Researcher Lewis' basic concept. (cw: vent art/disturbing imagery) (to find Researcher Lewis posts, use #researcher lewis)

I am also working on Pasteltale. A very dark - but brightly colored - Undertale AU. It's gonna be bright, gorey, grotesque... everything I love! It will mostly appear as still images with some small comics here and there. This is Pasteltale's basic concept. (to find Pasteltale posts, use #pasteltale)

Other minor things I have here: Vampireverse (my reboot) - I have a version of the Vampireverse originally created by someone I do not wish to name. A version where Jasper is part Siren, and in love with a village girl named Lucy. PJ's Daycare (my reboot) - A story more geared towards older/mature audiences, it follows PJ - a recovering addict sentenced to community service and reform via therapy. Along this journey, he discovers a lot about himself. Various Lewis AUs - I LOVE Meet the Robinsons, and its main character, Lewis. I make tons of AUs of Lewis, and may occasionally share them here. Unicornverse - Underverse. But they're magical sparkly unicorns. This is a self indulgent thing, to be honest.

Themed Playlists - I like making playlists around a certain character, ship, or theme. You can check them out on Spotify! (Names act as the link.) Calamitree - A playlist for Bradilo (Bradley x Milo) from Milo Murphy's Law. Featuring two distinct sides of the relationship. Freckles - A playlist themed around my reboot version of Lewis from Meet the Robinsons. Missing Summer with PJ - Doodling on the bus seats while wishing it were Summer is better than going to school, says PJ. (NaJ PJ themed playlist.) Subject 07 - He has every right to be miserable, but he has a lot of love to give. Rainbow Trinkets - Jam out with Kawaii Lewis with all of your best colorful accessories on!

My persona's name is Rosey, and you can find her reference sheet here. Use #rosey's log to find out more about her.

I have two besties on here. @arinthehunter and @thecrispykoala! They're dating each other, and I couldn't be happier for them. Arin specifically is not only helping me write for Student's Echoes, but she's also writing her own fanfiction over on AO3. Go to her blog for details~

Do not interact: MAP/MAP supporters (pedos get out), TERFs, queerphobic/LGBT-phobic, crpyto-bros/NFT supporters, proshippers, ableists, misogynists, white supremecists/pretty much anyone who doesn't support movements such as BLM, racists, super straights I want this blog to be free of hate, so take your ass and shove it. Content Warnings Researcher Lewis: Blood, gore, psychological horror, disturbing imagery, grotesque imagery, torture, dehumanization, abuse (all forms), needles, alcohol(?), drugs Pasteltale: Blood, gore (pastel variety), extreme violence, grotesque imagery Special note for minors: Posts that might be triggering or too explicit for you will be marked as mature or tagged with "tw" type tags. I am not responsible for anything that happens to you. You have read the warnings, it is your call whether you heed them or not. Scroll safely and cautiously.

Enjoy my playground! Please be civil!

[absolutebl]

Hi, I was wondering if you could rec some bl for me? I like all variations of enemies to lovers and the whipped seme + tsundere uke dynamic but I think i've watched most of it already so it's been hard finding new ones. A couple things that kinda fit what i'm looking for that i liked would be wbl, tharntype,bad buddy,semantic error,word of honor,be loved in house and kinnporsche. It's totally ok if you don't want to but i'd be so grateful if you could help me out. Thank you!

I can try! First here’s:

Top 10 most epic LTP in BL (long term pining)

10 BLs to Watch if You Love Bad Buddy

Top 10 Enemies to Lovers BLs!

enemies to lovers, whipped seme, tsundere uke

(examples: We Best Love, TharnType, Bad Buddy, Semantic Error, Word of Honor, Be Loved, KP)

The spreadsheet of doom has a sort criteria for these so here’s what I got:

SOTUS

My Sweet Dear

Addicted 

Capture Lover 

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Your Soul

Gen Y

My Engineer 

Kiss Me Again (PeteKao cute, watch guide here) they also go back to enemies for a while in DBK 

Why R U? 

Once in Memory

Love Mechanics

Cupid’s Last Wish (former boyfriends) 

Fingers After (Korea short)

My Type (Taiwan short) 

Qualify but not recommended

My Secret Love

Fish Upon the Sky

I Am Your King 2

Love Area 

Beloved Enemy

Fanatic Love 

The Best Story

Sky in Your Heart

HIStory 3 the BL that shall not be named AKA Make Our Days Count

The Effect

Double Mints 

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)  

Not (quite) enemies to lovers but the seme is totally whipped and uke is tsundere (maybe?)

Cherry Magic

Takara & Amagi

Color Rush 

HIStory Obsessed 

Lovely Writer 

Blueming 

Fahlanruk

Light On Me 

My Beautiful Man 

Given 

Love in the Air 

River Knows Fish Heart 

Takumi-kun

HIStory Stay Away From Me

21 Days Theory

I don’t know which ones you have seen or not seen so drop a comment in if you need more info on any of them. 

[kassiopeiadesu]

My Current Gameplay Guide

The main gameplay rotation is based on the Build a City Challenge, and I made a few rule modifications to fit my Wizarding World-themed neighborhood. All townies and playabales are created by me, and are based on the Harry Potter universe.

After some trial and error, this is the current addition of gameplay rules to the above BACC rules that I ended up with:

Each household is played 1 day at a time in rotation. (Used to be 7, but now that I'm multiple generations in, I need all children to age at the same time so they don't miss their Hogwarts start). Start with year 0 for when your first sim moves in, and play each family as they appear. Ages are kept track of using the "birth year" method, starting from 0 as the birth of the founder - highly recommended, makes it so much easier to keep track of age. Simply record the year (day) your sim is born, and calculate age using current day - birth year on a spreadsheet.

Aging in max days: baby 1, toddler 2, child 7, teen 8, adult 42, elder 15 College: If a sim goes to college, 1 semester in college = 1 year of their life. A sim who graduates on time ages 8 years (this is subtracted from their adult life upon graduation). Rotationally, 1 semester = 1 "day".

Being a witch is hereditary. This way squibs and muggles are possible. The muggles are the university dormies and NPCs so far.

Children in the wizarding families have the option of going to muggle school each day via school bus, or go to "Hogwarts" for children - this is a community lot with a teaching podium. I use visitor controller to make all visitors children. This lot has the teaching hall, and various skill objects (music room, library, gym, etc). Children go here to learn grade points, start learning witchcraft, and to socialize with other children. They are taken to this lot by an adult in the household.

Upon turning 10 and aging up to a teen, aspiration is assigned based on a calculator that takes into account a sim's personality and interests. This is great because sims' families can "share interests" to influence a child's aspiration and personality in the future. Parents can also encourage the personality of their child prior to age-up.

Interests + personality are important, since the day the sim turns 10, they will be sorted into their Hogwarts house when they arrive at Hogwarts. I use the teleporter shrub to move them in. The sorting process uses their interests and personality in a calculator to determine the Hogwarts house.

The proper Hogwarts lot for teens is a residential lot where a professor lives. It has common rooms separated by Inge's Keys for the different houses, as well as common areas, library, Great Hall, etc. There is one 3-hour class daily, which teens can autonomously attend if they choose to. Each day I decrease everyone's grade by a letter grade, so they have to keep up with class to maintain high grades. Teens stay at Hogwarts until they are ready to age up to adults - then they can decide with their want whether they would like to proceed to college, or to age up to an adult.

The neighborhood also has "common room" community lots for each Hogwarts house. Each person who has been to Hogwarts and gets sorted gets an appropriate Inge's Key, and I use visitor controller to limit the lots only to those who have the keys. That way each House has a lot where they can socialize and network.

College is custom and has a nice dorm where wizards first move in to, and also has muggle dormies (whom I made more unique and nice-looking too!). Greek houses for wizards are also found on campus. The Greek houses are maintained by fees from members joining: $1000 to become a member, then $500 each year that one lives in the Greek House.

Fights: are now dangerous duels! If two wizards or witches fight, and one of them has magic skill over 900, and at least one of them has evil alignment >700, then one of the sims will be killed in the duel. Basically, I see it as - if one one of them is evil enough, they aim to kill, and if the opponent OR the evil witch are magically powerful enough, the duel will result in death. Whoever loses the fight dies IRL.

Every 7 days, 10% tax is collected from each household to the neighborhood treasury. 10% tax includes value of the home lot and any owned lots. I also used to use "Bigger Bills" by Cyjon in addition to this tax for more challenge. If the tax is unpaid for the week, it gets interest for the next payment.

There is a social hierarchy and plutocracy system, based on wealth and connections. This gets a bit tricky and is based on original HP lore also, but the main thing is: the wealthiest family is the ruling "royal" family, and this is determined every 4 weeks. Their close associates are nobility, and so on.

The 10% tax is paid to the bank account of "monarch" sim - the head of the richest household. Payments are made via Monique's computer. This way the money gets interest and can be used for building community lots for the neighborhood.

Certain families have pride in their Hogwarts house association and would like their children to continue marrying sims they approve of. For those families, and inheritance system is in place for their children: if parents consent to the marriage and chosen spouse, the child will get the inheritance. If parents don't approve, they can lose the inheritance upon the unfavorable marriage. Likelihood of consent to marriage is calculated based on the relationship points between parents and future spouse, the spouse's wealth class, house, and +10% random chance.

When sims purchase clothes or through hacks, they must send money for the clothes to the sim who owns the clothing store shop.

Zodiac signs: assigned at birth based on the day of the season the sim is born, not their personality. This gives greater variety to attraction system and drama, in my opinion. Zodiac sign is determined based on when the sim is born in a season, from beginning to end: Summer: Gemini, Cancer, Leo Fall: Virgo, Libra, Scorpio Winter: Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius Spring: Pisces, Aries, Taurus

Sims continue to share interests and develop their personalities throughout their teenage and young adult years, and they get re-calculated for aspiration when in college or as an adult. That way the personality changes are accounted for, and I find it realistic.

To be updated as I change things or think of modifications :)