#i'm literally just trying to survive the fucking week. i have ONE more week for 3 of my pain-in-the-ass classes

[non-un-topo]

Getting repeatedly stabbed in the side today and not in the fun way

[percervall]

it's a bad idea (fuck it, it's fine) — part 1

Summary: your housemates give you an offer you can't refuse. What's the worst that could happen? Pairing: Jenson Button x fem!reader, Fernando Alonso x fem!reader, Sebastian Vettel x fem!reader, Mark Webber x fem!reader Warnings: smut, dirty talk, mild degrading, oral (m and f receiving), face fucking, fingering, slight nipple play, hinting at m/m, mentions of free use, *gasp* and they were room mates Word count: 1.9k

Part 1 of the Fuck It series

The arrangement was, frankly, absurd. Had the offer come from anyone other than Jenson, you would have kicked them so hard they wished you had punched them instead. Part of you hoped he would have forgotten what he had said while heavily under the influence of too much champagne, but luck was not on your side. 

"Have you thought about my offer?" Jenson asks, innocently blowing on his coffee, making you choke on air. 

"The offer in which I pay my rent by, wait let me check my notes. Ah, yes, 'fucking you'," you reply, voice a lot steadier than you feel. Because truth be told, it had been impossible to not fantasise about getting railed into next week by him- by any of them. Oh, you were well aware of how much your life had become the plot of a rom-com ever since your landlord decided to be an absolute greedy bastard. Become a live-in house sitter for 4 millionaires they said, it'll be fun they said. Liars.

"Oh come on, it'll be mutually beneficial," Jenson argued. 

"Proud of you for using your big boy words, pretty boy but how exactly is this gonna end up in anything other than disaster?" 

"He's hungover and a himbo, why are you bullying him?" Mark mutters, voice still rough with sleep as he literally picks you up and unceremoniously plops you down on top of the counter. There are days where you curse your small stature and his strength, especially when it leaves your brain stuttering to process getting manhandled. 

"We'll set rules. All I'm saying is we're all adults-.." You can't help but snort at that. "Fine, whatever. I'm just saying that I've seen the way you look at them, seen the way your eyes flash with lust and I am pretty sure some truly filthy fantasies, and I know I can speak for all four of us when I say we would love to help you realise those. Also, we don't need your rent money and this is just so much more fun." Well then. You just got read for filth before even having had your morning coffee. Fuck him for seeing right through you. 

"Where's your sense of adventure, nena?" Fernando comments, a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Right next to my 'I survived Multi-21' t-shirt," you mutter. It's a low blow, but getting bullied into sleeping with four drivers makes it hard to think.

Mark shoots you a look, eyebrow raised. 

"The mouth on you," he comments, "Seb was very apologetic. Made it up to me in the best possible way. In fact, I should make you apologise to the both of us the same way, sweetheart. On your knees." He whispers the last part in your ear and you cannot contain the whimper that comes out at his thinly veiled threat.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Being made to kneel and take cock like the good little girl you are, hm?” 

“Mark-..” You have no idea how to respond to that and keep your dignity in tact. You try to look away but Mark takes your chin between his forefinger and thumb.

“I asked you a question sweetheart. Are you gonna be a good girl for us?” His thumb tugs on your bottom lip and all rational thought leaves you as you nod. 

“Mm, knew JB was right about you. Takes one to know one, I suppose.” You can hear a muffled what the fuck’s that supposed to mean? from the living room as Mark helps you down from the counter. You hadn’t even noticed the McLaren teammates had left the kitchen until just now. 

“On your knees, sweetheart,” Mark nudges you and you sink down onto the floor. The small kitchen runner is the only thing protecting your knees from the cold hardwood floor, but the prospect of sore knees is quickly forgotten now that you’re at eye level with Mark’s crotch. You can clearly see the outline of his hardening cock against his shorts and it has your mouth watering. Mark chuckles as he notices the hunger in your eyes.

“You’re lucky Seb is out for a run. Or maybe I’m the lucky one, getting to fuck this mouth all by myself.” The whimper you let out is involuntarily as you eagerly watch him hook his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts, pushing them down far enough to free his cock. You scoot a little closer, taking him in your hand, tongue darting out to lick away the bead of pre-cum. Mark hisses, head thrown back and that’s all the encouragement you need to suck the tip into your mouth. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he says, sounding absolutely wrecked already despite you not even having done anything yet. 

“You said something about fucking my mouth?” Mark looks down at you, pupils completely blown and he grins so wickedly, it leaves you breathless. 

“Are you absolutely sure sweetheart?” As you nod in response, he gathers your hair into a ponytail in his fist, angling your face. “Alright then. Tap my thigh twice if it’s too much and I will stop, okay?” 

“Okay,” you parrot, and move your legs apart ever so slightly to stabilise yourself. Mark drags the tip of his cock across your lips and you open up for him. He slides in, careful to not immediately choke you. You relax your jaw as much as you can, but god it’s been so long since you last did this. Mark sets a slow rhythm, letting the both of you adjust. Looking up at him through your lashes, you can see how he’s trying to hold on to the last shreds of self control, and well. That just won’t do. 

“Mark,” you say, slightly out of breath as you pull back, “you taunted me with using me. So for the love of God, fucking use me.” Mark chuckles and the sound has you aching. He tightens his grip on your hair and slides his cock back into your mouth. Resting your hands on his thighs, you close your eyes as he finally delivers on his promise. The sounds are obscene and if you had a functioning brain cell left, you would have been concerned about the two of you doing this in the kitchen, but as things stand, the only thing you can focus on is Mark’s throbbing cock inching down your throat. Forcing yourself to open your eyes, you look at him as you swallow around him. 

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m not gonna last, sweetheart,” he groans, pulling back. You hollow your cheeks while taking deep breaths through your nose, pulling another string of curses from the Aussie. You can feel his cock throb as he grunts above you.

“Gonna-.. Fuck.. So good, you feel so fucking good..” he mumbles, and throws his head back as he comes. 

“You better not swallow, Schatzi,” comes a voice from the doorway. Who are you to disobey? Mark pulls out carefully, tucking himself back into his shorts while Sebastian helps you up from the floor. He carries you bridal style into the living room, placing you down on the couch next to Fernando. 

“Show Nando, baby,” Sebastian all but coos and you carefully open your mouth. The underlying relationships? Questionmark? between your housemates makes your head spin, but judging by the way Fernando’s eyes darken, Sebastian knows something about the Spaniard you don’t. 

“Can I kiss you, nena?” he asks and all you can do is nod. Fernando cradles your cheek, pressing an almost chaste kiss against your lips before he runs his tongue over the seam of your lips. The moan he lets out as he tastes Mark on your tongue has you throbbing. When you break apart to catch some air, Sebastian leans closer and licks away the few drops of cum that spilled when Fernando kissed you. Am I dreaming? you can’t help but wonder. Out loud apparently.

“Very much awake, doll,” Jenson grins as he kneels in front of you, “Something tells me you’re absolutely soaking. Mind if I give a hand? I do so love making people come with my mouth,” he adds and you’re quick to raise your hips so he can pull down your panties, much to Jenson’s amusement. He pushes your oversized shirt up higher and parts your legs. Sebastian moves your face so he can steal a kiss and you moan into his mouth as Jenson drags the flat of his tongue over your oh so sensitive clit. Their hands are everywhere it feels like. You’re pretty sure Fernando has one up your shirt, teasing your nipple while he kisses your neck. Jenson’s are curled around the inside of your thighs as he holds you open for him while Sebastian has one hand on your cheek as he kisses you; the other mirrors Fernando’s. Needing something to hold on to, you bury a hand in Jenson’s hair. He sucks your clit into his mouth, moaning against your cunt as you tug. Breaking the kiss, you throw your head back with a moan of your own while you grind against Jenson’s tongue. 

“Need.. Fingers.. Please, Jenson, need your-.. Fuck, oh God..” Despite your incoherent state, Jenson understands what it is you’re asking of him as he carefully slides two of his long fingers inside of you. Sebastian and Fernando manage to strip you of your t-shirt, both of them taking a nipple into their mouth. 

“I’m so-.. So close.. I’m gonna cum, please can I cum?” you whimper. Fernando mutters a yes against your skin and something snaps; Your back arches as your orgasm hits you and for a moment you forget how to breathe. The loss of Jenson’s fingers makes you whine but your housemates more than make up for it when Fernando grabs his wrist in order to bring Jenson’s fingers to his mouth, moaning as he tastes you. 

“Just as I thought, you taste delicious nena,” the Spaniard comments with a grin. These men will be the death of me, you can’t help but think while Seb accepts the glass of water Mark hands him. The German driver helps you take a few sips as you slowly return into your body. Something tells you that this only scratches the surface of their underlying dynamics and you are dying to delve deeper.

“Told you it’d be mutually beneficial,” Jenson jokes, pulling you from your thoughts. 

“God, I hate that I’m saying this because your ego is fucking big enough as is-,” you start only for Jenson to interrupt with a that’s not the only thing that’s big, doll which makes you roll your eyes.

“I was gonna agree to your plan, idiot. You proved your point. Twice over. I- eh.. I can see the appeal,” you continue before downing the last of the water. The four men share a look that you can’t quite decipher and it makes you wonder: just what did you exactly sign up for? You pull your shirt back on, suddenly very aware of the fact you’re naked, needing something to act as a barrier between you and this crazy idea. 

“How about we discuss the details after breakfast? Don’t know about you, but I am starving,” Mark breaks the silence. You nod gratefully and let Sebastian pull you to your feet. A part of you is excited to see where this.. arrangement will lead you, but you’re also apprehensive that you might be about to bite off far more than you can chew. 

Welp. Here we go I guess. Updates are gonna be slow on this, so please temper your expectations. Ideas have been brain stormed, things are brewing in the ol' noggin, I just gotta write it 🥲

Massive shoutout to @curiousthyme and @feralnando for helping me brain rot about this and for holding my hand while I descent even further into chaos. This whole part was written while listening to Hozier's Too Sweet and Ethel Cain's Gibson Girl on repeat, so feel free to do with that information as you please

Please let me know what you think. Your comments, likes and tags mean the world to me 💜

taglist

@2pagenumb @dannyramirezwife @daydreaminlewis @emlynblack @forza55 @jaimeleannavanlloman @mehrmonga  @szobosz @raizelchrysanderoctavius @whoreforeveryon

[exhaslo]

OMG HI I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GOOD

i was thinking of a whole thing where miguel is constantly tortured by spiderwoman reader because yk his heightened senses he vould literally smell like her natural scent + perfume and it hinders his performance as spiderman so lets say like one day he’s at a breaking point and readee is just naturally a little bratty because its their personality but that day it was yk that horny week before the period so she like REEKED OF SEX bc she had some solo time before getting to the society so she goes to a mission or something and her perfume was just gone because she smelled like herself and she was teasing miguel, so like miguel decides to put her in her place by literally fucking them to submission and possibly score a date after

IDK JUST A THOUGHT OKK BYEEE HOPE THIS ISNT TOO MUCH

I love these feral like Miguel moments. Boy can freaking do so much more than the regular Spiderman that I just CRAVE for him to be real. Cries.

Warning: Minors DNI, Smut, feral Miguel, creampie, oral, size kink, rough sex, dirty talk

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a mistake to bring you here.

You were a temptress, a tormentor to Miguel. Ever since he brought you to the Spider Society, you've done nothing but torture the poor man. You naturally smelled like sex. It was so intoxicating, especially since Miguel had heighten senses.

While everyone else treated you normal, Miguel couldn't help but have to avoid you. Your scent just brought out a side of him he wasn't sure he liked. A side that felt so animalistic. Miguel was worried that he had to run tests on himself due to his half Spider DNA.

"Miguel! You can't keep yourself locked in here forever! People will believe those vampire rumors." Peter yelled out. Miguel ignored him,

"I can and I will," He mumbled to himself.

"Bah! Oh! (Y/N), hey! Have I shown you my new pictures of-"

Miguel instantly froze the moment you entered his office. He tuned Peter out and groaned at the scent of you. This was difficult. You were even wearing a sweet perfume to try and cover your arousing scent, but Miguel could still smell it. He could still smell you.

"Miguel, I wanted to ask-"

"Whatever it is, fine." Miguel spat, clenching onto his work desk.

"But I didn't even-"

"Yes! Whatever it is, yes! Just...both of you, leave NOW!" Miguel hissed. Peter raised his hands up in defense,

"I think he's hangry."

"Mhm," You nodded in response and slowly left, "Well, thank you, Miguel. I'm looking forward to working with you on your next mission!" You said with a chirp.

Miguel immediately paled as he snapped his head towards where you had just left. His desperation for you leaving had just signed him up for a whole mission with you? Oh, there was no way he could survive. This sexual frustration he was having from you scent was not going to end well for him.

--------

"Geez, Miguel, even I could take down my Rhino faster than you arrived." You said with a snobby huff.

Miguel rolled his eyes as he approached you with a separate mask on. You raised a brow, wondering if he was sick, but before you could ask a portal was opened. Miguel activated his normal mask and jumped in ahead of you.

"Sooooo, are you like...sick or something?" You asked as you entered the new dimension.

"Sure,"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Then, can you say more than one word without yelling?" You grumbled, swinging in front of Miguel now.

"Watch your six."

Miguel was doing his best to avoid you. He even wore a second mask to try and block out your scent, but it wasn't working. This was painful. You didn't deserve this treatment from him. Miguel knew that, but what could he do? How could he tell you that your natural scent was making him horny?

"Miguel! Behind you!" You called out.

Miguel raised his head and tensed as you tackled him. His head right in between your breasts as the two of you landed against the fire escape outside a building. He cussed lowly, wishing that he had Spider Senses like the others.

"Are you okay? You seemed distracted today," You asked, placing your palm on his forehead, "No fever."

"I-I'm fine. Let's...get that anomaly." Miguel groaned.

Your scent was all over his mask now. Miguel couldn't breathe without inhaling you. Feeling his vision blur, Miguel almost reached out to grab you. He felt relieved as you quickly rushed towards the anomaly. Unable to stop his shaking body, Miguel tried to pull himself together.

"Lyla, I need to find a solution to this," Miguel hissed lowly, taking his mask off to breathe fresh air.

Lyla appeared before him, "I can think of one way." She hummed.

"Do it."

----------

Miguel was groaning in his office, threatening to do something inappropriate. You were nearly all over Miguel once you caught the anomaly, bugging him about how he was doing and whatnot. You were so clueless and annoying because you had no idea how good you smelled to him.

"So, Lyla told me that you got a problem. Said that I'm the only one who could help. Lucky me," You said with a wide grin.

A shiver ran down Miguel's spine the moment you walked in. Your scent was overwhelming! Not even your perfume could cover the fact of what you did. Feeling his vision blur again, Miguel tried not to breathe. Your arousal was stronger than before.

"You're only making it worse," Miguel groaned, leaning over his platform with sweat rolling down his forehead.

He needed you.

"Making it worse?! You're the one who went on a mission sick. Unbelievable."

"Leave....now," Miguel begged.

He wanted you.

"Lyla told me that I can help. So I'm here to help. I'm not leaving because you're in a bad mood."

"I'm telling you to leave for your fucking sake!" Miguel growled as he started to approach you, "I can't stop myself any longer if you continue to stay."

"Is that supposed to be a threat? I'm not sca-"

Miguel grabbed your arms, pushing you against the wall as he stole a kiss from you. Lifting you up, Miguel held you in place with his hips. Your scent was driving him crazy. His hands were roaming your body as your scent got stronger.

"(Y/N)"

You on the other hand, gasped in surprise. This was not the kind of problem you were expecting, but hell, you weren't going to deny it. Shit, everyone wanted a chance with Miguel, even you. Eyes widening as Miguel started to grinding against you, you whimpered lowly,

"So...any reason...why I'm your problem?"

"Your scent," Miguel hissed as he ripped apart your suit.

"Hey! I spent hours-"

"I'll buy you a new one! Just stop talking." Miguel lifted you up higher, your legs now wrapped around his head, "Your fucking scent drives me insane. I can smell you everywhere."

"Huh?!" You gasped and cried out as Miguel licked your cunt, "H-Hey, a-at least ask me out first!"

"You masturbated right before entering my office on purpose, didn't you?" Miguel swirled his tongue around your clit, listening to your moans, "Always torturing me."

"O-Oh~ R-Right t-there~" You gasped, attempting to arch your back, "Y-You were...ah~ mhm~ a-able to smell me?"

"You even taste as sweet as you smell,"

Miguel ignored your comments as he kept feasting. You gripped onto his hair, moaning and crying out as Miguel's tongue ravished your poor cunt. You gasped, shaking as you felt your orgasm fast approaching. Miguel only took this as a sign to go faster.

Circling his tongue inside your pussy, Miguel groaned, finally getting a taste of you. Finally shutting you up. He brought you to his desk, clearing it off and laying you down. Once you cam against his face, Miguel licked his lips as he pressed his cock against your folds.

"M-Miguel....wait..."

"After cumming like that? After coming in here so horny? I'm not waiting anymore, (Y/N)."

You arched your back, crying out as you felt Miguel's dick stretch your walls. You tried to reach for him, but Miguel just grabbed your hand and licked it in response. His pupils were blown and he looked like a starved man. You were not leaving this room the same way you came in.

"Fuck, look at you, taking me in so well. Such a slutty pussy just for me. You like having my fat cock inside you, huh?"

"D-Don't be...mhm...t-to mean," You whimpered, feeling his tip poke your cervix. Miguel just chuckled as he started to slap his hips inside you,

"Your body is telling me otherwise. A small little thing like you is the perfect accessory for my cock. Tell me that you've been wanting this. My cock pounding the life out of your cunt."

"I-I won't let you win this. Y-You've totally been...ah~ ah~ w-wanting, hah~ m-me." Your moans were getting louder as you tried to win this silly little competition with Miguel.

"Fuck, that's right. Cum against my cock. Let your pussy drip all over my desk."

"Hah~ Ah~ M-Mig...R-Right t-there! Mhm~" You cried out, reaching another orgasm. Miguel clenched his jaw as you tighten around his aching cock,

"Good girl. Finally behaving." Miguel was losing his cool, falling into lust, "Let me reward you, yea?"

"Mhm~"

You flung your head back, crying out and moaning as Miguel kept thrusting into you, not giving you a chance to rest. A shiver ran up your spine as his grip against your waist tighten while his thrusts grew rougher and faster.

Your eyes nearly rolled back as you felt a hot wave fill you. Unable to even think of what had happened, you kept your whines as Miguel kept his unresting pace.

"(Y/N), don't let other people smell you," Miguel whispered into your neck.

"Y-You're...mhm....ah~" You tried to argue, wanting to tell him that he was the only weirdo.

It was a lost cause to tell him anything that night.

---------

"Keep looking guilty," You huffed, glaring towards Miguel as he worked on a new suit for you, "Hours. I spent hours sewing that suit."

"And I gave you hours of pleasure."

"You gave me buckets load of cum and orgasms. I still can't feel my legs."

"Again, I apologize, it seems as if your scent taps into my other half of DNA. I understand if-"

"I want a date! I'm owed a date!" You said childishly, "Oh! And that suit you're making! I want both!"

"Such a brat."

"Huh?! Who's the one who couldn't hold it in??!"

"Who's the one who masturbated before entering my office?!" Miguel huffed, hovering over you again, "Don't make me shut you up again."

"Then that's two dates."

"Deal."

It ended up being three dates that he owed you.

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I hope you enjoyed!!!

@tojishugetiddies

[writingoddess1125]

Blip on the Radar pt. 1

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader + OOC Erik

Part 2 ->

Would appreciate a donation to my Ko-Fi so I can survive in this economy! Enjoy!

"Alright big guy bed time" You say as you swoop down and pick up your toddler, feeling him already tired from the day.

"No No Mama" Erik chimed. His mess of blonde hair covering his sleepy blue eyes which was trying to resist sleep

"Yes Yes Bean" You say with a giggle carrying him to his room and lay him down giving him his favorite stuffed bear you watch as he falls asleep in seconds.

Smiling as you watch his sleeping face and gently caress his cheek- despite the times that had passed you couldn't help but be amused by how much Erik didn't look like you, if it hadn't been for the 30hrs of labor you went through and seeing that headful of blonde hair when he was first born you would have been sure the hospital had switched your child.

He was a stocky and tall toddler, for being 2 years old he could easily be mistaken as a 3 year old- especially since he had big hands. He reminded you up a pitbull puppy, were you could see he was going to be a big boy.

Most likely like his father, which you assumed he was a carbon copy of.

It had been a bar hookup 3 years ago on a trip abroad, nothing special or unique in truth- You didn't even remember the guys name, you just remever his bright blue eyes, some blonde hair and a deep English accent. However that was about it- Besides you had your face in the pillows too much to know anyway, the next morning he had already been gone and you were content with that.

However seemed the universe decided to just screw you over as a few months later you found out you were pregnant. Not an ideal way to become a mother However you were one non the less.

Walking out of the room silently you began to pick up around the house, all Erik's toys and snacks he had dropped throughout the day but that was short lived as the couch called to you. Finally taking a seat you turn on some late night YV and sigh heavily- that exhaustion going through you as you laid there trying to will yourself to do more.

Going through your phone you see that you got a notification from Ancestory, raising a brow as you opened it and saw the results for your son upload.

"Oh yeah.. forgot about that"

A few weeks previously you'd done a DNA test on your son, mainly for medical history and to gather some basic information. As it populated you were met with pages of blacked our marker, Literally almost nothing was visible and you could see the British royal forces logo in the corner of most things but everything was crossed out.

"Why is so much of this crossed out?.." You muttered, squinting at the print on your phone over why so much information was limited from your sons father's side- You couldn't see much accept for last names and some general years.

"Weird.. Like a ghost... did I fuck a spy?-" You mutter, shrugging at this and close of your phone. Fairly sure you'd spooked yourself or that the Ancestory was wrong in some way. Waste of 90$-

0500 hr Other side of globe

It was far too early for this- Ms. Elis marched down the corridors of the Barracks with a file in her hand- her face no better then a thunderstorm as she marched.

Ghost could hear her from down the barracks hall from how loudly she was stomping around- he understood she was the TF 141 lawyer but she was a royal pain in the ass as well- he was seated on a couch of this temporary barracks common room and reading, dressed in more casual military attire and a plain balaclava covering his face.

"Price!" She called out once seeing him I'm his office and slamming the door behind her, Ghost looking up to see that banshee of a lawyer looking ready to snap again- sighing heavily as he tried to go back to reading.

"What do you think it's this time?" Soap said as he plopped himself next to the reading man with a relaxed sigh- Simon rolling his eyes at the Scotsman.

"Nothing that I'm willing to think about-" He grumbled, but his ear was picking up her yelling at Price dramtically- Once again. Banshee. That and one that had a flare for the dramatics.

After 10 minutes of this, The banshee of a lawyer stepped out of the office and turned to look right at Ghost-

"Mr. Riley, can you step into the office with us" She asked, a fake sweetness to her voice but he could hear the strain of frustration.

Fucking Hell...

Soap gave a crooked smile at the Lieutenant like a child pleased to see his peer being called in by the principal. Ghost silently stepped in and nodded at his Captian who gestured for him to take a seat.

Taking a seat he could see Price was on the brink of either snapping at the lawyer or getting a glass of scotch to dull whatever was happening.

"Sir" Ghost greeted Price but was giving a awkward nod- Clearly this not being something good.

"Well I never thought this would be a conversation I'd have but- Were you intimate with anyone in (insert location) around 3 years ago?" Price ask as calmly as possible- Clearly the lawyer keeping him from speaking in honest remark. Ghost felt a chill up his spin and his eyes narrowed.

"...What is this about Captian-" He asked sharply, Price grabbing two cigars and handing one to Ghost and keeping one himself.

"Well to be honest.. in short it looks like you have a kid Simon.. a little boy to be exact" Price said truthfully as the lawyer held the file out for Ghost. His eyes widened at hearing this, Looking slowly up at the lawyer as she handed him the file- Setting down the cigar quickly he opened it and saw the photos pulled from your Instagram as well as the ancestory website pages that did connect the toddler to him.

"It seems she was trying to get medical information through ancestory and we saw that your guys DNA connects. With the timing of the last time you were in that city it matches with the child's age" Ms. Elis said calmly as Ghost continued to look through the photos and information about you and his child.

"Simon?" Price said as he saw the man seemingly in a daze, staring at the folder. However Price could tell his mind was in a different place-

The lawyer was trying to go through options that Simon could take, paying child support, visitation, renouncing parental rights- However he was too dazed to even process any of this. Instead just sitting there thinking that he had a kid out there with this random stranger, were they a good mom? Did they love the kid? What if they were in a abusive home like he had been? Oh he couldn't let that happened.. it was be a nice snowy day in hell before he did. But also fear that his background would come to haunt him- How if he was in the kids life he could risk being a bad influence to the child as well.

Standing up suddently Simon held the folder looking to Price then the Laywer.

"What city are they located at Sir?-"

[hum-suffer]

I'm Yours 5

Ishan curses the moment he has sober thoughts back in his head, that is, the next morning. He slept through his alarm and has less than half an hour to get ready and not be late to college so he stores any and all thoughts away as he carefully puts down the gajra from his wrist and onto the dining table before running around his house like a headless chicken.

His day proves to be even more trying, as news reaches the college that the university is going to host an organisation for cultural events and as the manager, Ishan is supposed to coordinate at least the engineering department. He couldn't have had a weirder week.

He almost snaps at a student when they ask him for important questions but at the last moment manages to hold his tongue and instead give them a later date for such a discussion. He has a lot on his plate already, and them asking for important questions almost a month before the exam is literally not helping him.

____________________________________________________

It happens when Ishan enters Virat's office, to borrow his copy of Rashmirathi. Virat bhaiya seems to be talking to someone on his phone, a video call.

He beams when he sees Ishan. "Arre, Ishan! I was just talking about you. You should take more holidays too, baba, you look so rested."

It's the effect of mind numbing alcohol after my stalker became a cock block, he wants to say. Instead, he snorts,"Wow, call me out on all my dark circles, why don't you?"

Virat bhaiya shakes his head fondly. He beckons Ishan on the other side of the table and almost shoves his phone in Ishan's hand. He's been talking to Shubhman.

Shubhman seems to be just as surprises to see him and freezes. Ishan freezes as well, but for something else entirely.

He has a fucking hickey on his chin.

His heart thuds uncomfortably in his chest as he smiles,"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good," he absolutely doesn't sound good with the way his eyes are widening,"Just wanted to show Virat bhaiya the toys I bought for Vamika yesterday." Almost as if he's relieved, he turns the phone camera to some soft toys, piled up messily. Ishan smiles, spotting the Pikachu plushie that Vamika is sure to love.

"That's very sweet of you, Shubhman." He looks at Virat bhaiya and back at Shubhman. "I'm very sorry to cut this short but I need to borrow Virat bhaiya's copy of Rashmirathi instantly before my next class."

"Of course, totally understandable! It was nice talking to you!" He seems like he is hesitant in adding anything else.

Even as he knew it could probably be the worst choice of his life, Ishan smiles at him at graciously. "Fir milenge."

____________________________________________________

Shubhman is waiting on the steps of his porch when Ishan returns home. He looks like a kicked puppy.

He keeps stealing glances at Ishan, as he walks across the veranda. He stands up when Ishan reaches him and Ishan gestures at the door, unlocking his house and letting his guest enter first, as courtesy dictates.

"Ishan. Can we talk?"

Ishan nods, removing his jacket and throwing it over the arm of the sofa. "We can. But before that, I need tea to survive that conversation. Do you want some?"

"Please, thank you."

The pass the time in silence, unlike last time when they'd been yapping on and on about one thing or the other.

As the tea is boiling, Ishan sneaks a glance at Shubhman, who is staring at the bunch of gajras that Ishan has now started to group at the corner of the dining table. Before Ishan can take his eyes away from Shubhman, the man turns and Ishan wants to bury himself somewhere because Shubhman looks so fucking beautiful.

"I'm not sorry for meeting you, for falling for you or for wanting to date you," Shubhman says. His voice is shaking. "But I am sorry if I was a nuisance to you or if I scared you. I only ever wanted to, I don't know, just let you know how my world revolves around you."

Ishan doesn't know what to say, so he remains silent. Shubhman continues, softer, more vulnerable. "The day I saw you, I wanted to completely drown in you. Possess and be possessed. You seemed so full of life, love and enthusiasm. And I was never even remotely like that. I've never had a shred of peace or enthusiasm. You're so beautiful, so lively. I wanted you to myself."

"You could have asked me on date, Shubhman." He says, pouring the tea in teacups that he bought last year— only because they looked cute to him. White, covered all over by cute emojis. Shubhman gets the one with sparkle emojis.

Shubhman raises his eyebrows, still uncertain. "And you wouldn't have turned out to be homophobic? Or just token straight? Or even committed?" He blows lightly on his tea and the smell of mint calms Ishan somehow. "I realise I was wrong, but wanted to protect myself. I found out everything about you there is to find— I wanted to be cautious. I'm one of the youngest names in the industry, I'm unused to the attention and my success makes me a target for jealousy. I am nothing if not careful."

"And so humble, too." Ishan marks with a wry grin.

Shubhman looks down, almost shy. He continues after a moment,"I started searching you up and then when I was sure that you're all around a good person, I couldn't hide the urge to text you. After the first day, it became kind of addicting. Talking to you was the highlight of my day."

"You can break into my house to give me gajras and not ask me on a date?" Ishan raises an eyebrow. Shubhman shuffles adorably. Ishan is reminded how young and hence naive the man is, and something certainly unethical flares inside him.

Stop, he tells himself. For the sake of a peaceful death, stop.

Shubhman gives him a hesitant half grin. "I'm not even sorry."

And that was the truth. While Shubhman may feel sorry about spooking Ishan, but he won't feel sorry about pursuing him— in any way.

Ishan realises abruptly that his tea is empty when Shubhman lifts his cup up, taking his mug as well and putting them both in the sink. Ishan doesn't even have the coherence to stop his guest from doing chores because— what the fuck. What the fuck. His stalker is washing their cups of tea.

"No, wait!" Shubhman looks at him, surprised,"What are you doing, you're my guest! My mother will kill me if she finds out! Stop!"

Shubhman laughs and throws some water at Ishan almost unthinkingly before he freezes. Ishan swats him on the bicep.

There's something dangerous bubbling in his chest and it's not necessarily illicit but it is so so tempting and rattling.

Shubhman smiles at him and Ishan wants to keep the smile tattooed over his throat and feel him every time he takes a deep breath.

____________________________________________________

It's a miracle but ishan somehow manages to blink himself back to reality when Shubhman starts speaking. It's breath of fresh air to see the boy standing awkwardly in his kitchen, but Ishan has better manners than that. He leads Shubhman back to the living room. They cannot sit apart, won't, and Ishan feels so awkward that he might as well have met him at the club again.

"So," Ishan stretches out the syllable,"last night? What was...that?"

Shubhman blushes and looks down. For all purposes, he looks like he is here to give an interview or proposition a marriage.Ishan knows which one he prefers.

(No. Stop. Bad Ishan. BAD.)

"As you know, I've already hacked into your phone." Ishan raises an eyebrow and Shubhman shrugs with a wince. "I promise I didn't find you through that. I was in the club to drink myself in misery since the whole spooking you in the bathroom thing. It was out of line and I am very sorry about that. But yeah. I saw you with the guy and...I couldn't just watch. I wanted to be one whom you laugh with, whom you dance with. I knew all the dance hook steps you seemed to be enjoying and I wanted you to look at me like you're proud.

"I got the lights cut off for a while. I only planned to come near you and just bask in the fact that you're touching me. Things... escalated. And well. I can't claim to regret anything." His hand hovers over the hickey at his chin and his eyes look at the biege shirt Ishan is wearing, the one that conceals his own set of hickeys just barely. He'd had to wear a tie today to hide the one at his throat.

Ishan knows something is wrong with him because he definitely doesn't regret that either. He thinks that he'd love it anyway, if it was Shubhman or the stalker. The only reason that he didn't recognise the voice was because Shubhman appeared to have a mild cold, which deepened his voice.

Shubhman purses his lips and it's only when Ishan sees the look on his face that he realises that he's fingering the hickey at his throat. Shubhman's jaw tightens but he stays where he is.

Ishan gulps and looks away, at the gajras at the dining table.

"So," Shubhman copies Ishan. "Something like a girlfriend, huh?"

"You leave me flowers, worry about my well being and steal my shirts. I'm not even wrong," Ishan says with a grin. Shubhman grins back but Ishan knows that he wants a real answer and that makes him look away. "Since my childhood, I've had issues with, um, sharing. Thinking that someone solely wanted me, that someone is completely mine in a sense that is undecipherable, it may be wrong but I was flattered. I liked being the sole attention."

Shubhman looks at him hesitantly. "My attention is only ever going to be on you, Ishan, should you allow it. There's nothing I want more than I want you to be my partner, my companion."

"And you're not a murdering psychopath who stalks people, makes them fall for him and then kills them?" Ishan asks, just to be sure. He's late in the question and he's also aware that an actual psychopath wouldn't say the truth, because plausible deniability, who?

Shubhman grins at him. Ishan wants to curse how beautiful he is. No fucking wonder he's on so many magazine covers. He would have ended the world of modelling if he didn't choose academics.

"And you're asking me this question after I've broken into your house more than three times and you've invited me for tea twice?"

Ishan shrugs. Shubhman laughs.

"No." The intensity of the word comes as a bit of a shocker. "There's never going to be anyone but you. And you'll never get hurt by my hand intentionally, I swear it. You're everything, Ishan." Shubhman smiles, softer and quieter. He turns and his knee bumps with Ishan's thigh. "I don't become a stalker for just anyone, Ishan."

Ishan feels heat rush to his cheeks and ears. He unnecessarily clears his throat. "It's a good thing too. How would I take you to the best date ever if you're in jail?"

Shubhman blinks owlishly. Ishan panics. He definitely shouldn't have asked. Maybe Shubhman wanted to take it slow. Maybe he didn't want a relationship. Maybe he was busy. Maybe he found out he didn't like Ishan all that much—

"You still want me? After... everything?"

Ishan breathes a sigh of relief. One of his hand goes to Shubhman's knee unbidden and the other goes to cup his face.

"I've wanted you since the very moment I heard about you, baby. Of course, of course, I want you."

____________________________________________________

Tagging: @mayakimayahai @onthecloudseven @kyayaarkiraa @k-h-watari @ek-ladki-bheegi-bhagi-si @khwxbeeda @fortunatelycrazyyouth @theseventhhoax @ms-potato @athena-swords (bless you and your comments, ily)

[girlwithonegoal]

sorry but the only reason destiel even works is because wincest did it first and also better

i've been thinking a LOT about this and want to get it all out so here it is. if dean was truly in love with cas, he would not have hesitated to tell him so when he literally knew cas was about to DIE. we don't see that. we see shock, grief, disbelief (an angel loves me!), we see him trying desperately to process his best friend is leaving him but nowhere does dean say, or imply, with his eyes, or words, that he's in love with cas. of course he loves cas - cas is family - and cas is not exactly his brother, (closest is brother-in-arms), despite his insistence in an earlier episode - but he's not in the kind of soul-crushing love that cas is with him. he's not in love with cas, and can't be, because he's already in love with sam.

when dean dies, he gets as close as he possibly can to confessing to sam he's in love with him without actually crossing the line. he would never to that to sam - he would never do to sam what cas did to him - because he would NEVER do anything to make sam lose his agency (sidebar: not that cas doesn't respect dean. but his love confession is almost wish fulfillment - i'm going to confess to dean i love him and go out in a blaze of glory and then leave without dean ever even having to reciprocate because i know he doesn't love me back. and he's absolutely right).

dean has already had years and years of not having his own agency from john his whole fucking life! john did whatever he wanted to dean and dean took it because like hell was he going to subject sam to that bullshit. which brings us to sam and dean's childhood - not much is known of their early years before sam went to stanford and that's fully on purpose. we can almost see dean as not only a brother figure to sam but also a father figure. john leaving for weeks maybe even months at a time - how the hell did dean and sam manage to survive? by dean doing whatever he had to do. emphasis on whatever.

you see, john absolutely knows that dean is beautiful. whether you read their relationship as purely abusive or abusive with a sexual component - dean definitely did questionable things to get food on the table for sam, an aspect that's more in fanon that canon but reads true to the heart of the show. sam doesn't know because dean wanted a normal childhood for him. and dean would rather die and go to hell for 800 years than force sam to make a choice, make any choice, of a romantic and/or sexual nature related to him.

back to dean's death. this is again the closest thing to a love confession that dean can make - my baby brother - take out the word brother and it would be not only romantic but stunningly true - he raised sam, this child who grew up to be a man, this child who loves him - waiting outside sam's dorm for hours - can you picture him pacing in the snow, waiting for the one thing he wants but can't have??? why does that sound familiar? oh, right, because that's what cas said but in dean and sam's case it would be actually true. how cruel and unbelievably insane it is to find your soulmate in your brother, the one person you have that you love unconditionally, not just because they are your family but because you are in love with them, and you can never have them as long as you live.

re: american gothic and soulmatism. very different from crimson peak where thomas fully realizes the unhealthiness of the codependent incestuous relationship with his sister and wants to be free and happy with edith. but sam and dean don't want to be free. in their minds, they already are free as long as they have each other and only each other. not getting in all the other romantic relationships that the brothers have with other people bc it would take too long, but they already fulfill that need for each other and don't need anyone else...like i'm sorry i love my sister but i want to get married one day to someone else. if you read their relationship as purely platonic, it doesn't work at ALL.

the kripke early seasons fully leaned into the gothic horror aspect of it all and incest is definitely a part of that...dean and sam literally cannot live without each other. they can't do it! sam dies in dean's arms and dean can't even wait five fucking minutes without making a deal with a demon lmao. he can't eat. he can't sleep. their love is a perpetual resurrection; they keep killing each other and bringing each other back to life. because they don't know how to stop. they are a singular mangled fucked up entity. i read a fic once where the author described sam as hating his own body because it was separate from dean's and dean's whole presence was a phantom pain. and yeah. just yeah. they can't live without each other because they ARE each other.

seasons 1-3 to me are spn at its soul. that's it. cas only works as a side character, if he's a brother (like, purely platonically) to both sam and dean or just unrequited romantic love for dean. the trope of an angel falling in love with a faithless man who can't pray only works if dean hasn't been in love with sam the whole time.

[gabessquishytum]

The Endless family leisure empire is vast -- there are hotels, island resorts, casinos and entertainment venues. Every sibling has to do their time at one of the properties, before heading to the main offices. Dream is has chosen to work at one of the adult only island resorts. It's a high-end exclusive kind of place, that's a little clothing optional.

Choose your own Adventure:

1. Hob is a rich guest who sets his sights on "staff" Dream; the customer is always "right" and Hob demands Dream, personally, meet all his needs for the length of his stay. Maybe, that's Dream wearing shorter shorts; or maybe Hob wants to see Dream in one of the (indecent already) Hostess bikinis while he's serving Hob in his VIP villa; maybe Hob is sleazy and handsy (Dream's ass gets smacked by more than just Hob, but Hob's hand lingers). Maybe Dream doesn't necessarily mind over-the-top rich dick! Hob; This money'ed Hob runs in the same circles as his family and Dream might have had a small crush when he was younger.

OR

2. Hob is the GM or Head of Security for the resort Dream chose. Hob never likes having to deal with the nepo placements the Endless family forces on him -- he expects his employees to work and not just faff about. So maybe he was a little mean to this Morpheus Endless when he started.

Listen, the kid looks like jailbait; Hob's VIP asshole guests are going to eat him alive; just to be safe, at least the first few weeks, Hob literally assigns security guard Matthew to shadow the Endless kid when he works the VIP villas -- good thing too, that Burgess asshole got himself banned as fuck for what he tried to the kid.

But Hob has to admit he's surprised, the kid (Dream, please!.....And I'm not a kid) does pull his weight; he's stronger and more resilient then he looks. Hob might even like Dream. The tight short shorts suit him.

Ahhhh I really like both of these potential concepts so much!! Just the whole idea of Hob being pervy with Dream definitely hits the spot for me. But also Hob protecting Dream from pervs?? I love that too!! I want to combine them somehow.

So yeah, maybe Hob is a rich guest with what they call "fuck off money": he can pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants and pay for the consequences. Dream is just trying to survive the summer working at the family's most luxurious, classy, VIP resort. There are so many gross old men trying to get in his pants, it's totally gross. In comparison? Hob is like a breath of fresh air. He may be sleazy, but at least he's good looking. And he's started rescuing Dream from the worst elements of his job, by insisting that Dream hang out with him. And since he has fuck off money, no one can tell him no. They go sailing, play golf, hit the nude beach, go to the spa. Hob wants Dream with him all the time, even at dinner. And if any of the other guests complain about him monopolising Dream's time (and they do), Hob gets this nasty smile on his face. Like he's looking forward to beating someone up. But security always get involved before it gets that far.

And yes, Hob is sleazy and a little over the top, but Dream minds it less and less every day. He's seen every inch of Hob’s body now and he can honestly say that he wants him. But as much as Hob flirts and ogles and hides Dream’s swimming trunks so he has to come out naked, he never makes an actual move. Dream is getting quite frustrated.

What can he do but slip inside Hob’s room in the middle of the night... catching him in the middle of an extensive masturbation session, by the way. He crawls onto the luxurious bed, smacks Hob’s hand away from his cock, and starts really working.

Hob doesn't know how he's ever going to leave this place, now that he knows what it's like to cum down Dream’s throat. And yes, he's going to flaunt his conquest to all the other guests. He can't wait to see the look on Burgess's gross old face when Hob pulls Dream into his lap at breakfast tomorrow <3

[raccoonfallsharder]

recommended works ⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

these are the folks who have written or drawn something (specifically within the rocket raccoon fan community) that either murdered me, resurrected me, or both.

(i am always open to recs so if you wanna link me to your fave i will be so happy to check them out)

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ fanfiction ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

The All of You (ao3) i fuckin love this story so hard. i love the OC. i love the writing. i love the set up. i reread this probably every month or so and pine for more. it's so fuckin good. @lazarel-3000 is a double-threat (at least) who is also on my recced artist list, which means (obviously) they are a recced creator as well.

Casino Royale (ao3) this fic by @hibatasblog (see also: Entanglement, below) is so fucking delightful. petra quill is so hot i want to date her myself, and the tension between her and rocket is through the roof. loving the angst, loving the little ways that heartbreak seeps through every new paragraph, loving the mystery of trying to figure out what happened to petra and rocket to set them on their separate paths and now bring them back together. always waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

Entanglement (ao3) this fic by @hibataao3 has me rationing my consumption in a way i have not done in a long time. i'm like "i only read one chapter a week to pace myself, as a little treat for surviving another seven days." beautiful writing and intricate storytelling, the metaphors and analogies are so good i almost wish i was back in undergrad writing a thesis on it.

Friends (tumblr) @nyxivy is making their way through the rocketober 2023 prompts and the first fic of the series is. so drool-worthy. i've probably read it fifty times since it came out. short and so hot i could die (much like rocket himself), and somehow incredibly sweet in just the span of a few paragraphs? i will continue coming back to this fic and look forward to more from them at every chance i get.

Get Up (tumblr)@caesarhamato22 is another person on my recced creator list because trying to find just one fic to call my "favorite" is a challenge (obviously i was unsuccessful because there are two on this list). anyway this is lovely and fluffy. i die.

last (friday) night (ao3) nsfw. trying to pick a "favorite" of @aliasrocket's work is like trying to choose a favorite incarnation of rocket (i cannot). guess who is also on my recced creators list.

more than seven (tumblr) second @caesarhamato22 fic on this list and another recced creator. this one is one of my favorite comfort fics (i mean it's still sexy as hell) that i come back to very often. like it's just so wonderful and sweet and perfect and atmospheric and vibes

stars. (tumblr) ☕︎ stars. (ao3) sexual tension & some of the loveliest atmospheric writing i've ever consumed. another @aliasrocket fic that lives in my head.

A Very Basic Instinct (tumblr) ☕︎ A Very Basic Instinct (ao3) nsfw. when i tell you this fic did things to me. it is probably one of the fics i reread most. like, all the time jkjk only semiregularly. check out the author @elegant-fleuret for other equally brainrot-inducing smut (also mentioned in my recced creators).

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ art ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

@bathmob i wish. i could draw rocket. like this. the vibes are so good. the style. is perfect. i thank the universe whenever i see new art from them.

@glow-autumz is absolutely going to be a published comic artist some day and i will buy anything she works on ever. literally everything she creates has a story behind it, which i love. like, not only are her illustrations gorgeous (and like…often very hot) but every single one is (at least) a single-panel narrative. plus her OC is also cool as hell and i love her interpretations of rocket.

@lazarel-3000 creates the most toe-curlingly delicious art i've seen in a long time. i am seduced by pretty much everything they create. even their rough drafts have me panting. (i also have a crush on their OC and as a bi-lady i look at their art and am often like oh shit this is a fuckin feast). as mentioned before, this artist is also the author of one of my favorite fics and is a recommended creator in general.

@uglly-rodent posts always make me want to pinch the babby raccoom's cheeks and/or cry.

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ creators ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

@aliasrocket writes such beautiful things it is impossible to pick a favorite (i got two of their fics in the fic section and it was difficult to narrow it down that far and even now, i'm not certain). their tumblr has the added advantage of a ton of drabbles, every single one of which is perfection.

@caesarhamato22 read everything. like everything. great smut but i am a sucker for the slice of life shit and it's so fuckin good here. i just wanna be a nail tech on knowhere/locked in a closet with rocket/have him steal my t-shirt/whatever. it's like all my most domestic desires got turned into little fanfiction dreams. so much wish fulfillment i could die

@elegant-fleuret has great fanfiction (more than just the one on my fic list - i just felt like i had to narrow it down and A Very Basic Instinct literally gives me a a fresh hit of dopamine every time i reread it, which is a lot). plus also art. double-threat.

@evolvingchaoswitch writes with a ton of vulnerability and rawness and angst. i am also in love with the shorter pieces they've been putting out for rocketober 2023 (some really great poetry, some really emotional oneshots, some really hot oneshots). plus their OCs always fuckin rock

@lazarel-3000 look. look. i cannot say this enough. please go check them out they are hope in a hopeless place. some of the sexiest art + one of my very favorite fanfictions + one of my very favorite OCs have come out of this flawless individual. (full disclosure they also did some nsfw art of my OC jolie and rocket that has me crying and dying and hyperventilating on a daily basis)

@love-for-faeries-go-burrrr has another one of my favorite OCs and i am always hungry for their little storylines whenever they post.

@mrwolfhare is one of my favorite sources of gotg food-for-thought. just some of the most thoughtful explorations of the details of both the mcu and comic canon, excellent headcanons, beautiful screenshot sets, and really solid art. the drawtober art and ficlets have been highlights in my days this month and i'm told there may be a rad fanfiction on the horizon so keep your eyes on this! (rad fanfiction is here now! read Subject 880HR on ao3)

[according2thelore]

oh GOD that ask answer was everything i dreamed and more. es!dean literally cannot imagine the kind of torture sam went through with lucifer. (which, incidentally, is one reason why ls!sam could never really replace ls!dean with him. he wakes up hyperventilating in the middle of the night and that slender boy is not enough. he needs his mountain man of a brother who Knows what’s out there.) and that kills him because he needs to know Everything About Sam. but sam is so so right to keep it from him - i don’t think es!dean could live with the knowledge, say, that sam is raped one day. i think it would actually end him.

ugggh i lvoe this au so much. you are a genius.

GRAHH you're so right!!!

sam wakes up one night straight from a nightmare and stumbles into the hallway, needing to find dean's room. he runs into ES!Dean, who's all it's okay, sam. it can't hurt you, it's just a vision--because he doesn't know! ES!Sam's nightmares can be soothed with gentle hands on his neck and shoulders, brushing bangs out of his eyes, dean promising that they'll fix it, and sam's safe.

but LS!Sam is going to throw up because this isn't a fixable thing. he feels suffocated by ES!Dean's firm hands on wrists, held down, and he pushes him away, hard.

LS!Dean shoves ES!Dean further away like you can't restrain him like that and ES!Dean pales bc he things he's caught on: someone held sam captive, maybe because of his powers. how could LS!Dean have arrived so clearly late, late enough that sam still carries the scars into his dreams?

and LS!Dean keeps muttering about first stones and c'mon sammy breathe with me and look at me and this is real. and LS!Sam kind of crumples and shoves himself under LS!Dean's arm, trying to make himself small and holdable, and ES!Dean just stands there and burns.

because there is clearly something here that's not right. something that LS!Sam&Dean have survived together, learned how to deal with, spent years adjusting to each other, and that's something ES!Dean is starting to realize they'll never tell him.

sam has always been a little inaccessible--he used to refuse to tell dean details about his girlfriend-of-the-weeks, he kept stanford a secret until he got his acceptance letter, he wouldn't tell dean what he was writing in all of those notebooks--but never the truly big, life-or-death stuff. and now sam--LS!Sam, anyway--is inaccessible. and it kills dean. dean wants to shrivel up and die because sammy is his. his responsibility, his to watch out for, his to mend, his to kill for.

he has never felt more purposeless or rudderless than he does right now--watching someone else comfort sam.

what he doesn't know, of course, would kill him. the fact that sam asks to be locked into a cage in hell, and dean will let him. the century of torture and rape and psychological hell that sam went through is a chasm that dean will never be able to fix. he can build a bridge, but that's all he can do.

it would kill ES!Dean. and LS!Sam knows it. so he reaches out a shaky hand in the gap between LS!Dean's arm and body, where he's wrapped sam in a bear hug.

ES!Dean rushes forward and grabs it, life finally having meaning again as sammy looks up at him with bloodshot eyes, with fingers that shake, and a voice that cracks when he says, "i'm okay, dean. thank you. i'm fine."

AGH!!!! anon, you get it <3 <3 hurt/comfort is my FUCKING bread and butter!!!!!!!! esp when it goes both ways!! because with these bozos, it literally would be!!

-lizzy

[bitchin-beskar]

So do you have any headcamons for coming to the clan nd joining either pregnant or with a child and Paz immediately getting super protective over you?

whew

do i have headcanons

u bet ur ass i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have hcs for both and im in a good mood bc it's sinday so u get both!

coming to the clan and joining while pregnant

so i'm thinking if you're coming to the clan to join while pregnant, the one who got you pregnant is not in the picture

ofc, this could be for a few reasons, im leaning towards your partner being dead, but they could've run off and abandoned you too

but whatever way it happens, you're alone and pregnant, with little to no way to defend yourself

your village is attacked by pirates, and the nearby mandalorian covert comes over to help

the pirates had made it obvious they were looking for people to sell to slavers, and a pregnant woman sells pretty damn well, unfortunately

one of the surviving village members decides that this means it's your fault, so you're exiled

the mandalorians who'd stuck around to help are not happy to hear this, especially the large one in blue armor with heavy artillery

he immediately declares that you'll come with them, and will be welcome in their clan for as long as you require

stunned by the generosity, and with nowhere else to go, you accept

they're very kind, for all that you've heard about mandalorians as barbaric warriors, and their medic makes sure to give you a full checkup, and even gives you your very first ultrasound

your assimilation into the clan goes smoothly, but you can't help but notice your very big, very unsubtle blue shadow that follows you around and gets you anything and everything you need

it's weeks before you even learn his name, and even that's an accident, when the clan bounty hunter comes back and remarks that Paz seems very attached to you

you blink in confusion, especially when the bounty hunter-beroya, you remember from the mando'a lessons, literally facepalms to the amusement of his tiny gremlin kid

the beroya marches over to your shadow, Paz you know now, and they have a quick and heated discussion in mando'a far too fast for you to understand

but it was clearly about you, because afterwards, Paz becomes more than your shadow

he converses with you, eats with you, keeps you company, and even-at your request-attends your prenatal checkups with you

it's nice to have a friend, but you very quickly realize that what you're beginning to feel for your mandalorian shadow isn't friendship

especially not when you're in your bed late at night, horny as hell, and unable to really do anything about it with your stomach in the way

or when he sits close to you, his hand on your lower back for support, his low voice soothing and enticing in equal measures

or when you see him spar with other members of his clan, shirtless and sweaty, a huge mass of muscle, strong and vicious in ways that make you want

one night you're in your bed, nearly crying with frustration because you're so damn horny but you can't do a fucking thing about it

you're trying so hard to resist but you just can't anymore

so you fit one of your pillows between your legs, rocking back and forth to try and relieve the empty feeling inside you and to quell the fires burning in your belly

and in a moment of weakness, you call out Paz's name, lost in your fantasies

lo and behold, guess who happens to be walking by?? the man himself

he's worried you're hurt, so he comes inside, only to realize that you're definitely not injured

in literally any other instance you'd be embarrassed

but you've been sexually frustrated for months and the man of your literal dreams is standing in front of you

you snap that he can either come and help you or he can leave, but if he doesn't do something you might actually scream

he snaps out of his shock and decides there are worse things than getting to worship your body like he's been dreaming about

in the aftermath of your... ahem, activities, laying in bed with Paz, he whispers a confession that he wants more than just the occasional fuck

you're looking at him, hoping and praying he's saying what you think he's saying

he tells you that he thinks he might be in love with you, and if you'll permit him, he'll marry you and bring you into his clan, and if you wish it, he'll say the gai bal manda to your child, but even if you don't, he'll still love them and ensure they're raised to want for nothing

you kiss him, because you don't have the words to explain just how much you want that too, and you'll take anything and everything he offers you

coming to the clan and joining with a child

so, in this hc, i'm vibing with the idea that your ex was abusive in some manner, and so fearing for your lives, you flee him with your child

except the problem is he's rich, and he hates the idea that you escaped him, because in his mind you belong to him, so he hires Din to "retrieve his property"

Din takes the job, and upon realizing that "property" means you and your kid, he immediately abandons the job (bc he's got a kid of his own now and like hell is he gonna make the same mistake twice) and brings you to the covert

they're all equally furious as Din, to your surprise

Paz (who i've just decided is the Mand'alor in this hc) takes Din aside and tells him to go "take care" of your ex quietly

and then he immediately assigns himself as your protector

now, coming from an abusive relationship, you're v skittish around men, and even though your ex wasn't particularly large or physically intimidating, he still hurt you so the back of your mind is saying that Paz has the potential to be far more dangerous even if you haven't seen any examples of that

so you're very much shy around him and often v scared and skittish

it makes Paz so sad to see but he understands, and keeps his distance while also making sure to do whatever he can to make you feel safe

now your kid on the other hand

they're old enough, i'm thinking 8-10?

they're used to being afraid of dear old dad and also feeling hopeless about not being able to protect their momma

so being brought into a covert of warriors who have zero issues training children from a young age to fight??

they're ecstatic!

because not only can they protect themselves, they can get strong enough to protect you too

and they see Paz as the head of the covert and the heavy artillery master, and they imprint like a baby duckling

they follow him around and try to mimic him in everything he does

the entire covert thinks it's adorable

Paz is worried at first that you'll be upset since you're so skittish around him

but you decide to see how it plays out, and honestly it's kind of a test, because you've often found the easiest way to see the measure of a person is how they treat kids

and Paz absolutely loves your little one

he's so good and patient with them, he takes their training seriously and often personally trains with them

your kiddo loves them too, and Paz helps them acclimate so damn well

which is why when you find your kiddo sobbing in your rooms one afternoon apologizing for being the reason that you'll have to leave the covert you're very concerned

after much prying you find out your baby accidentally called Paz the word for 'dad' in your language, and now thinks Paz is going to kick the two of you out

you don't know how to fix this, but you know you have to try, because Paz is the first good and positive male figure they've been able to latch on to in their life and you don't want them to lose this, and also you really don't want to leave either

so you go to find Paz, and you find him on his throne, clearly very lost in thought

he's shocked to see you seeking him out, but he begins to apologize, because while he didn't understand the word your kid said, he was worried he'd done something to hurt them, and you'd put your trust in him that he wouldn't so he's afraid you've come to yell at him

you cross your arms and very sternly inform him that your child has come to see Paz in a father figure role, and you need to know how he feels about this, because if he's going to reject your baby, you need to know so you can attempt to mitigate the heartbreak

Paz stares at you for a moment and asks what you'd do if he said he'd be honored if your kid thought of him as a father and that he would ask your permission to adopt your kid as well to help your baby understand that Paz isn't going anywhere and that he's wanted

you're moved, practically to tears, all the fight draining out of you

you never could've imagined your baby getting this, and all you wanna do is say yes, so you begin to nod and agree, so overwhelmed

which is when Paz stands from his throne and makes his way towards you, where he tells you that as much as he loves your kid, he'd also be interested in starting something with you, that he admires you so much, and you've raised your kid so well, and he would like nothing more than to begin courting you

you're struck dumb, but you're also flattered, and you can't deny that seeing how Paz acts with your child gives you hope for how he might treat you as a partner

so, you agree to a tentative courtship, which quickly blossoms into more

...

i might have gotten carried away, but I hope you enjoy these!! maybe I'll turn them into stories down the road!

[dark-is-d3ad]

More fibro!Ghost because it hurts af, and I'm in for that infusion thingy literally right now, a month ahead of what it was supposed to be. So, I'm not suffering alone, i'm taking the guys on the ride. Christmas with Soap's family, some fluff, and caring Soap included in the pack.

~~~

• The leave is unexpected but still nice, and when Johnny offers to tag along with him on his trip to Glasgow, Ghost agrees, because why not? As if he's got something else to do. Soap promises all sorts of good things except for bourbon ("they'll be offended, and ye have ta try some proper Scotch at least once"), and also that means they'll get some time together. Ghost's sold.

• He's been doing just fine lately, despite last three weeks being full of missions. Hadn't had any problems at all, even though there wasn't much rest between them. It's a bit too good to be true, but who is he to complain about it? His next infusion is scheduled for mid January, and while the month before one is usually the worst because the effect from the previous one starts to wear off, this time he apparently has it good. Unbelievably good.

• Soap's family is big, and loud, and overwhelmingly funny, they roast each other a lot, and all of them got some sick burns, especially his dad. Ghost secretly loves it.

• They're also suprisingly understanding about his balaclava. There is only one question: is he comfortable with it? He nods, and then no one bats an eye, they're so freaking normal about it, as if he's not wearing one at all. After all this time it's refreshing.

• Soap, apparently, doesn't shut up about him at home. They all think he's some badass cool guy, and he fucking blushes, and oh it's so good to have the mask, saves him the embarrassment. He's really not used to this, it's just his job, after all.

• Ghost gets back at him, too, tells them some cool stories about Soap and his demolition work, how he's the smartest guy in the team, and how Johnny saved his ass in a couple of very hairy situations. He finds it really funny when Soap's in his shoes now, mumbling something along the lines of "oh it's just work."

• They go to the gym together early in the mornings, they also go for chilly morning runs every other day, and it's so enjoyable. Sometimes Soap's dad goes with them, too. Scotland is beautiful, hills, and rocks, and fog; Johhny huffs slightly when he runs up the hills, and Ghost feels so light, his legs bouncing softly off the road. The runner euphoria hits him here much more often than it usually does.

• They don't really share a bed, both deemed it too much for a family visit, but they do hang out at Johnny's room until wee hours, and then Ghost sneaks back to the guest room, heart pounding.

• Johnny's nephews are adorable. Ghost teaches them basic survival skills and quickly wins their sympathy. "They're little menaces, Si, why would ye teach them how to start a fire with next to nothing on hand?! I dinnae tell'em for a reason!" The little ones get a lecture on responsibility, and there's that. What was learnt can't be unlearnt, eh? They're finally allowed to practice in the chimney, and they're thrilled when they succeed. Ghost is put on permanent supervising duty because he caused it. He doesn't mind, for a grown-up he's having way too much fun with little pyromaniacs. And he hasn't even shown them his favourite knife yet. That will probably have to wait, he doesn't want to be banned from the house yet. He'll teach them how to throw it one day.

• They get out in the city for a day to get some gifts. Ghost heavily relies on Johnny in this endeavour, but they manage to find something for everyone. The little ones are getting some nerf guns, there's a bunch of knitting supplies for Soap's mum, a nice bottle of scotch for his dad, and some little things for his brother and sisters. Then they split for a bit, because Johnny is hell-bent on finding "the thing", and he refuses to tell Ghost what it is.

• Ghost uses the time to take a walk and get the stupidest kinda thing: a soft cover that goes on a helmet, bright red, fluffy, with little horns on top. He never knew Johnny had a motorcycle in the first place, but that thing looks like it's his already, so he figures he'd just add it to the gift he already got him.

• Christmas is chill and homely, and the dinner is amazing. On Boxing day Ghost doesn't expect any gifts, but he gets a hand-knitted balaclava from Soap's mum, black with a white scull, very much resembling his mask. It's warm and soft, and honestly fucking cute. He also gets some drawings from the little ones, with lots of fire and all of them drawn together around him, a huge ominous figure, but the scull has a little cheeky smile drawn over it. It makes his heart ache a little. It's been years since he got gifts like that. Since... he shuts the thoughts down as quickly as he can.

Then, he gets "the thing" from Johnny, and it's a set of bed linen with hello kitty prints. And it's light pink. "You bastard," Ghost says quietly. "I like it," he adds, almost non-audibly, feeling like he confesses a sin or something. It's really funny, and he's definitely keeping it. Johnny just grins at him, putting the fluffy cover on his helmet.

~~~~

It's all fucking great, until next day Ghost has a night terror. In his dream he's tortured and buried alive again, but this time, there's not only Vernon but lots of bodies, they decay on him, there's no space, their sharp bones pierce him through, and he screams from the pain, and he's dying agonisigly slowly. His own scream wakes him up. The pain is still there, but bearable, his heart beats so fast as if it's going to jump out of his chest. And then he tries to sit up in the bed, and it goes from a 4 to a 9 in an instant. Ghost groans and falls back down on the pillows, defeated. It just had to happen now, of all times, when he's got no access to medical, no meds on him, and it's mid holidays on the other side of the country. And it was all going so good. He probably woke the whole house up with his screaming, too. "Fuck," he thinks.

It hurts as hell, his palms and wrists are the worst, they throb violently as if someone was crushing his bones with a hammer, and there's no fucking breaks. No ebb and flow, no nothing, just pure agony.

A couple minutes later Soap knocks. "Ye OK? Can I come in?"

Ghost hums a yes. "Had a nightmare," he tries to explain. It comes out a bit slurred, and Soap picks up on it immediately. He's seen him in bad flares enough times now to know what's up from the get go.

"Ye got something ye can take?"

"Nuh-uh."

"How bad is it?"

Ghost doesn't come up with an answer to that. It's hard to gauge it, it's so fucking overwhelming.

Johnny turns on small lights, but it still makes it worse. Ghost's losing it quickly, much quicker than it usually would happen, and it scares him. It's not even a ride downhill, he's freaking falling off a cliff at this point.

"Yer as pale as death," - Soap says. He climbs up on the bed and starts doing whatever is that massage of his is, but it barely touches the pain at all. It's still comforting, and Simon moves closer, and that little movement hurts, everything fucking hurts so much.

He's not gonna last through this one. A day, maybe, two at most. If it's a long one that was building up this entire month, he's absolutely fucked.

Another knock on the door. That's Soap's mum. He gets up and goes to talk with her, voice low. He's explaining something calmly, but Ghost can't make out words, and he's too busy trying to keep his composure.

She leaves.

"She's right, Si, we can try whatever meds we have here, and if that doesn't work, we gotta go get ye to the doctor."

"Y'remember I'm legally dead?" Ghost slurrs.

"Oh, fucking hell!"

Soap's mum enters the room. She's got a little tray with some meds and two cups, and a she's got a bottle of water laying on it, too.

"Too early for coffee, and I really hope ye'll sleep some more," she says. "But I got ye some milk. Get well, Simon."

"Thanks, ma," Johnny says. Ghost mumbles a "thank you, mam" too, but she just waves him off, almost offended.

"Ye get better and then ye'll get to "mam" me again. Wake me up if ye need something."

"I'll take care of it. Go to sleep, ma, love ye," - Soap takes the tray, and she leaves.

He takes a shit load of pills. Like the max safe dose he can in one go. The milk is warm and tastes nice, but drinking it all means having to sit upright for a bit, and that sucks major balls now, so he lays back down and closes his eyes. Soap's hands are back on his head, rustling his hair, but he shuffles away.

"It hurts, Johnny."

"It's ok. I'm only trying to help ye." Soap pauses.

"Ye know, that's how mum used to make it for me when I was a wee lad. The milk. Made me a cup now, too."

"It's good."

"Missed that more than I thought."

Soap still stays with him for the night.

It gets even worse by sunrise. Ghost honestly thought there was a limit to it, but it reveals him new fucking shades of suffering. He's fading in and out, sees Soap sometimes. Sometimes he's alone. At some point he really hopes he won't wake up again, because waking up hurts so much he cries in the pillow. The curtains are closed, but the thin strip of light that gets through them is searing, as if it tries to burn itself in the back of his scull. He loses track of time.

In one of this quick bits Soap helps him to get to the bathroom. He doesn't remember how he ends up in bed again. Next time he wakes up Soap's there, but he's got two more guys with him, Ghost doesn't know them. He tries to ask Johnny, but the question refuses to form. Soap still gets him.

"Doctors," he says. "A family friend and his friend. Yer OK, Si, I trust them. You can trust them too."

Ghost would have said a thing or two about trust, but he's so overwhelmed with pain he decides it can wait. And he really does need help, and Johnny's sorting his mess for him the best he can.

"We'll do what you usually get," tells him one of them slowly, making sure he follows him. "And we'll leave a note for you so your doctor knows."

Ghost nods. It doesn't take too long before an IV is set up, they double check the dose and let it run.

"We don't have all the equipment, so we'll make do with what we got, and check on you every now and again. If you feel any metallic taste in your mouth, let us know."

He nods again. Johnny doesn't let him pass out, talks to him, asks him stupid questions. At first it feels like a torture, but then the pain becomes slightly duller, and it's easier to stay awake, even though he's exhausted beyond measure.

"I really contemplated getting ye a vet to get yer meds. The stuff is heavily controlled, these guys could easily lose their licence for what they're doing," Soap tells him. "And the vet's got the same thing, so I thought we could pretend yer legally a horse, and write it off like that."

Ghost chuckles. Then he realises doing so no longer hurts. One of the guys runs him through usual checks quickly - pulse ox, blood pressure, heart rate - and leaves him be again.

"I even came up with a name and the description," Soap continues," Would ye mind to be a black bay stallion called Riley?"

Simon glares at him in response.

"The alternative was," Soap's losing it now, really, he laughs so hard he tears up, "50 rabbits in a trenchcoat. Or like about 10 dogs that needed an emergency surgery on the same fucking day."

"I'd rather be a horse," - Ghost finally manages. The IV is definitely working, from a neverending flow of pain it turned into waves that come and go, and it's so, so much better already. His brain still feels like mush, but at least he can talk again.

"Scared the shit outta me, Si," Soap confesses. "These guys are legally treating me dad for a bout of back pain, yer not gonna be on any records. Called Price, too, they needed to know what ye were on and shit."

"He's on break."

"Ye, I figured he likes ye alive. It only took a couple phone calls from him. He does wanna talk with ye when we're back."

That can't be good. He's too tired to care about it now, though.

"I wasn't gonna die from that," he retorts.

"It looked like ye were," - says Johnny way too seriously. "OK, I see yer getting better, the attitude's back, can I punch ye now?"

"How long I was out?"

"It's 31st today. Nearly two days, three if we count the first evening."

"Fuck. I'm so sorry."

He can't tell if Johnny's annoyed with him or sad, but he has a weird expression on his face.

"Yer a complete wanker, Si, sometimes I hate ye so much."

"Thank you," - Ghost says, and opens his arms for a hug. He desperately needs it, and it seems like Johnny does need one, too. After all of what Ghost had put him through. Came with him, ruined his break with his family, made him worry and find him fucking IV ketamine from nowhere. He didn't even have any of the rescue meds with him. Great job, Simon, really outdid yourself with this one.

But Johnny does hug him, and the hug doesn't hurt at all, so Ghost just pulls him on the bed and hugs him tighter, almost afraid to let go. As if something would break if he did. Johnny doesn't let go either. They stay like that, in silence, until the infusion setup starts beeping.

After he's done, they make him drink some water and tell him to rest. He really feels a lot better, the residual high from ketamine doesn't feel remotely as confusing as the brain fog was. He's still not perfectly steady on his feet, but that'll do.

He even joins the family for the New Year Eve. Mrs McTavish practically forces him under a plead on the sofa. "I can see how pale ye are even through the mask!"

He tries to apologise again for the mess he had caused, and gets scolded for the attempt by the rest of them. And Johhny adds to it, the traitor. He really loses in numbers, and under the joint assault of McTavish clan, he has to concede. Not his fault, they say, he didn't spoil anything, he's fine, and they're happy to have him.

Anyway, in the end Ghost gets a plate of festive food, and he gets to hang out a little, and to rest close to the warmth of the chimney, and when the littles come to cuddle him, he thinks that he really doesn't deserve Johnny. And all the people Johnny brings alongside him.

But Soap thinks different. Soap sees Simon falling asleep at his parents' couch, and his nephews passed out snuggling him, and thinks that's the best fucking thing that happened to him in a while. Even if that thing is a stubborn bastard of a guy that doesn't know when to take a break.

~~~

"Will ye be back for Easter?" Mum asks him.

"Dinnae. I'll try."

"Bring yer friend again if he wants. He's a good lad, and wee bairns like him."

Oh.

~~~

P.S. about the talk.

It's not a discharge yet, but Price will enforce stricter rules on him (now it's not "just tell me if you're feeling off", it's "every time it's even a little off, you tell me", which leaves him no room to cover things up), and they will account for it more when missions are planned. And he has to have rescue meds on him at all times from now on.

[decolonize-the-left]

Hope this doesn't come off as condescending but when thinking of the hellhole state of this world, what kind of ideal society do you imagine? Like a snapshot into daily life, or what the infrastructures looks like.

I don't.

I have several observations I've made like cities being awful for climate change and how communities generally do better when they're smaller and more close knit and such

But a coherent idea? No. I'm doing my absolute fucking best to just survive right now. I'm sick for the 4th time this month and the month isn't even over. I'm physically disabled, I'm mentally ill, I have no fucking money, and I bruised my legs just by carrying groceries upstairs yesterday. Like I'm literally just trying to make it through the week without having to go to the hospital again. That's a good week for me.

So no, I have not had much time to consider an "ideal society."

I don't even want an *ideal society" at this point. I just want one who's primary function isn't to exploit it's people and leave everyone that can't be exploited for dead. Also we treat climate change like it's serious and have a more symbiotic relationship with the earth and animals, I guess.

Having my basic needs met is a high bar, I know, but I trust that that activists and organizers and modern thinkers that are much more knowledgeable & experienced than I will figure the best way to do it. And I'll support whatever they come up with.

Because I don't have a choice. Nobody else is even trying.

[coldflasher]

so me and my friend had to put our flash (re)watch on pause for a while bc she broke her ankle so we haven't seen each other in a while, but we finally picked season 8 back up and. god. i don't even have anything funny or insightful to say about it because it's just bad. it's so bad. and i couldn't even put my finger on why it was so bad at first, but eventually my friend pointed out that like. NOTHING happens. the characters literally just stand in a circle and talk. then whenever something DOES happen they go "hey so this thing just happened, hold on a sec while i describe it word for word in case you missed it." there's no action 90% of the time and there's no meta of the week for the most part so every episode feels samey and directionless as we slowly crawl our way towards a resolution of a plotline that isn't particularly compelling anyway

the characters are flat and nothingy. barry, the main character of the show, does FUCKING NOTHING EVER. there was one scene where he was running down the street, which he obviously used to do in every single ep, and my friend was like "holy shit i feel like we haven't actually seen him RUN in ages" and she was right. the man whose WHOLE SUPERPOWER IS RUNNING VERY FAST DOESN'T RUN ANYWHERE ONSCREEN FOR LIKE SIX EPS STRAIGHT. we see him run in and out of rooms but never see a straight shot of him running TO anywhere. WHY?

then there's the fact that the overarching plots are bad. the characters are split into two factions that don't interact at all. iris having time sickness could be cool and interesting and there's lots of potential for interesting character work there, but instead of making anything happen they have her sit on a couch and not touch anything in case she erases it from the timeline.

at one point she literally GOES MISSING and barry just. DOES NOTHING?? im sorry, fuck whatever else is happening, you know if iris disappeared he'd be tearing the city apart looking for her but all that happens is cecile is like "omg barry i can feel that you're sad, what's going on??" and he's like "iris is missing, im worried about her." WHAT!! THEN FUCKING LOOK FOR HER YOU DINGBAT!! i've said this before but s1-4 barry would absolutely beat the shit out of this version of himself if he found out about this

and don't even get me STARTED on caitlin and her almost husband, the skeleton fire demon who eats grief---again, this had the bare bones (pun intended) of an interesting plotline; a meta that feeds off people's grief could actually be really powerful and interesting to explore, but he's a magic skeleton from another universe who tricks her by pretending to be her dead husband so it's just stupid. at one point the characters like "why are we doing this plotline now, 7 years after ronnie died?" and i'm like yes, why ARE we? because again, having caitlin fall prey to the manipulations of a malevolent force that feeds on grief would actually be very topical and interesting if it had happened in, say, s2, when ronnie had just died for the second time. if her grief was fresh and raw and painful it could be conceivable that she'd be desperate enough to go "well i thought he was dead once and he survived, maybe he did it again", and cling to that, allowing herself to be tricked into believing this evil sentient flame skull was really ronnie. but it's been SEVEN YEARS and she literally just got a new boyfriend who has no personality and who we never see again, so it doesn't make any sense and i don't care. also the show keeps trying to convince you to care by having caitlin go "ronnie was such a valuable member of the team, you knew and loved him!!" and it's like... did we though? did we really? he's never made a big impression on me personally. the only character who was close to ronnie and actually knew him was cisco and he's not here. they added a few flashbacks and a proposal scene to try and make us care more about the caitlin/ronnie relationship but they didnt do anything for me because i was too busy staring at danielle's terrible wig. like babes that is NOT what caitlin's s1 hair looked like, did you even try

the skeleton fire demon stuff is actually kind of enjoyable to watch at times purely because it's so fucking ridiculous, the whole thing is a trainwreck, so i did somewhat enjoy getting to make fun of it but JESUS CHRIST IT'S SO TERRIBLE. HOW DID THE SHOW FALL SO FAR. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 13 (Hello I hope someone is listening)

"Morning Death boy."

"What time is it?"

"Eight o'clock I the morning."

"Goodnight Giraffe."

"Get up, we're getting breakfast."

"Let me sleep."

"Nope." Nico was refusing to get up so Will decided to do the only logical thing and pick him up.

"Put me down Solace."

"Don't think I will Death breath."

"That's a new one."

"Thought of it on the spot."

"Good for you Sunshine, now put me down."

"Not a fan of that idea." Will ran, carrying a very pissed Nico. "Hey Percy."

"Hi Will, should I ask why you're carrying Nico and also how you haven't gotten murdered yet?"

"Well he wouldn't get up so it was to only logical solution."

"Fuck you." Nico muttered,

"I wish you luck on not getting murdered."

"You know I could just shadow travel away?"

"No you quite literally can not, it would kill you."

"Great."

"Neeks."

"Do you have a death wish Will?"

"He's harmless."

"I have killed people William."

"I can confirm this, I was nearly a victim."

"Let's not forget you also tired to kill me."

"Why are you two trying to kill each other?"

"We don't talk about that."

"He's annoying as fuck." Percy and Nico said at the same time, locking eyes with each other, leading to a mildly concerned Will.

"Okay.... I'm going to pretend this never happen." Will placed Nico on the floor.

"Finally."

"Di Angelo, me and Jason-"

"-Jason and I."

"Not you to, same thing. We have decided to kidnap you, you're finally joining us on the big three table."

"Why exactly?"

"You'll get lonely."

"I'm perfectly fine being alone."

"Too bad, sucks for you."

"Stronzo." Nico muttered under his breath before waking off to join Jason, Percy went to follow him but Will pulled him back.

"Make sure he eats three full meals a day, shove it down his throat if you have to. I'm not joking, if he's refusing to eat or drink hold him down and make sure he eats for the next few months. I don't know how he's still alive at this point."

"I'll make sure he eats; mate you alright? Your eyes are bloodshot, when's the last time you slept?"

"A few days ago, I'm fine."

"A few days?! Mate, you need to sleep."

"I'll survive, pure chaos in the infirmary. Oh, don't tell Nico this but, you know how Aphrodite kids can speak French because it's the language of love? I can speak Itallian because it's the language of music, so if you were wondering, when he walked off he called you an asshole."

"Eh, not surprising. I'll catch you around Will."

"Yeah see you round." Willl walked off to join his siblings at the Apollo table.

***

"Don't think we didn't hear that, you're taking today off and no night watch until Tuesday." Kayla said pulling Will down and shoving a piece of toast in his hand, "And you're eating breakfast today, you've skipped it for a week."

"I've been busy."

"Would you like me to show you a list of every single person you've told to stop skipping meals? Let me start the list, Nico, Selina, Leo, Beckendorf, Annabeth, Michael-"

"Okay, okay you win. But I can't take the day off-"

"Not optional, go pine over Nico for the day or something. Maybe even, you know, sleep? Can't remember the last time you did that, more than a week."

"Oh shut up."

"Actually, I have a great idea." Austin interrupted, "Go talk to Cecil and Lou Ellen, they tired to kidnap you many, many times."

"Shit, yeah I should probably go talk to them." Will tried to get up but was held down by his younger siblings,

"Not so fast, you're still eating breakfast." After being force fed three full plates and swearing on the river of Styx that he would get eight hours of sleep that night he was finally allowed to leave.

***

"Finally, we missed you. We've been waiting for you to get off work for the past week." Lou Ellen said punching him in the arm.

"I should probably tell my siblings the kidnapping's off..."

"The what?!"

"Well me and Cecil tried, but Kayla found out we were coming and stopped us."

"So then I thought if I got the rest of the Hermes kids in on it they couldn't stop all of us."

"Of course you did."

"Well you're always in the infirmary."

"I've been busy for a few days, that's all."

"Well I know you haven't slept properly for the last eight days, and that you always insist on taking night watch."

"And anything difficult, and Nico."

"So? I'm fine, just busy."

"You're overworking."

"No I'm not."

"Will when was the last time you took a break?"

"Last year, Michael and Lee's funeral, I took half a day off."

"You can't do that to yourself."

"I can't let Kayla and Austin burn themselves out."

"Gods, I can't do this right now. I'm going to trust your siblings to talk some sense into you; want to go steal something?"

"I'm down, we just need to be back by three. In time for the thing." Lou Ellen smirked,

"Ohh rightttt."

"What did you do?!"

"You'll find out Sun boy."

"I'm scared."

"You should be."

***

_______

I wonder, if nobody is listening to my voice. Am I making any sound at all?

I hope you're prepared for what's coming soon.

[storiesbyrhi]

I had an idea for a little blurb or one shot, what if there reader is always known for wearing long sleeves and like she’s never seen without them to the point where there’s crazy rumours and reasons people have come up with as to why.

And one day Eddie decides to ask her, and she just takes off her cardigan and she’s wearing a short sleeve underneath and she just has full on tattoo sleeves. So eddie literally just melts for her on the spot.

Hello, friend! Thank you for being my first anonymous requester/prompter. Appreciate it. I hope you like this. It got a little more angsty than I planned, but maybe it's a vibe? xo Rhi

Warnings: mention of self-harm cuts/scars - mind and not at all the focus of the fic; reference to bullying; drug use; no beta (and I'm shitty at proofreading)

Drabble 001 1566 words

“Maybe it's some sort of like, skin condition?” Dustin offered, still knowing the pain of appearing different.

“Where’s your imagination, Henderson?” Jeff asked. “Scars, all the way up her arms, like from doing witchcraft or whatever,”

“Witchcraft?”

“You mean like the cult stuff Hellfire does?” Gareth chimed in, causing most of the boys to laugh. Even Eddie snorted a little.

Yeah, it was a double standard alright. The boys at the table were the first to be picked on for standing out, or trying to fit in, or doing anything at all really. The irony of them watching as you sat by yourself in the far corner of the cafeteria, adding to the already wild echoes of gossip that sounded out wherever you went, was not lost on Eddie.

That’s not to say he didn’t glance over at you, wondering what had changed.

Last year he was meant to graduate and so were you. You’d shared classes, small talk, and a joint every now and then, but he fully expected to never see you again after graduation. Then, you disappeared before the final few weeks of the school year. You were M.I.A. during exams. People thought maybe you’d just skipped out on school and Hawkins entirely.

But, there you were, repeating your Senior year, keeping to yourself like your life depended on it, and the icing on this mystery cake – the length of your sleeves. Rain, hail, or blistering heat, your sleeves would be to your wrists.

Of all the things to think are weird about someone, this was incredibly low on Eddie’s list, if it made it at all. There were logical reasons anyway. When he traveled to the city to see a show, he'd met kids with cuts and scars hidden beneath bracelets and bandages. Maybe whatever caused you to miss the end of last year was fucked up. He couldn’t and wouldn’t judge you for that. Maybe you had converted to a religion that changed how you wanted to dress. Again, Eddie wouldn’t judge you for that.

Really, he wouldn’t have noticed or cared at all, if it wasn’t you.

You, who he remembered from Middle School. You said you thought his act in the talent show was cool, and he’d look even more like a rock star if he let his hair grow long and wild like the thrash metal bands he worshipped.

You, who refused to take discounts on weed just because Eddie offered them. “Call it: supporting local businesses,” you’d laugh, leaving him with his thoughts of you.

You, who would often sit in a way that meant Eddie could copy your answers on maths tests.

You, who he hadn’t spoken to in months, but still occupied a great deal of his mind’s time.

“You sound like a bunch of prissy school girls with all this gossip. What you really should be talkin’ about, is how you’re gonna survive the Cult of Vecna,” Eddie posed to the table, punctuating his statement by throwing peanuts at Jeff.

He dared another quick look over at you and froze when his gaze met yours. Before you could look away, he offered you a smile. Genuine. Warm. Hopefully – inviting. You blinked back at him, not scowling or rolling your eyes, just… confused, maybe.

Two days later, Eddie was spending his Saturday night alone in the trailer. Wayne was at work. Gareth’s house was plagued with interstate family, so band practice was canceled. He didn’t mind, though. It had been a while since he’d just done fuck all.

With rented videos stacked and ready, Eddie packed a bowl and started to watch Fright Night. He was only about ten minutes in before a loud knock on the trailer door made him jump.

“Jesus H. Christ,” he mumbled, glad nobody was there to see him almost piss himself.

He crossed the small space, poising to hear a neighbour talk shit about another neighbour and ‘tell ya uncle, would’ya’ and ‘get a haircut’ and endless trailer park bullshit he could not care less about. As he opened the door though, he stood up straight.

When he said your name, you looked up at him. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Ah, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just, ah. Do you… Are you still…”

Eddie knew this line of unfinished questioning. “Selling? Yeah. Sure. Come in.”

You stepped up into the trailer, let Eddie close the door behind you. He made no motion to move or say anything. He was just looking at you, a little disbelief in his eyes.

“What do you need? I’m not fully stocked, but if your tastes haven’t changed we should be good,” Eddie said, trying his best to be polite. No, not polite. Kind. Friendly. A friend.

“Yeah, man. You still do pre-rolls?”

“Let me look. Um, take a seat, if you want. Do you want a drink or anything?” he offered, walking backwards towards his room but listening carefully to your reply. You shook your head at him.

In his room, Eddie found no pre-rolls, but there were the means to make them. He came back out to the lounge, plonked himself down next to you on the couch.

“You got some time? I can roll them for you now,”

“You don’t-”

Eddie stopped you by speaking your name. You looked at him. “It’s fine. Let me.”

You nodded, sat back into the couch more.

Eddie started Fright Night again and you half watched it, half observed how skilled Eddie was. His fingers worked fast, neatly. Nothing went to waste.

“So, um, this is a bit out of the way?” Eddie asked. “I mean, if you weren’t sure I was holding,”

“Um. Yeah. Nah. I live here now,” you told him.

“Oh. Cool. That’s cool. So, we’re neighbours?”

“Looks that way,” you confirmed, just grateful he didn’t ask why you had moved from your uptown house to good old Forest Hills.

The conversation paused there, not resuming until Eddie asked if you wanted four, like you used to. He wrapped them in saran wrap and handed them over, swapping you for cash.

Eddie hoped you’d sit for a bit, but you immediately stood and walked to the door.

“Thanks,” you said, turning.

“Wait!” Eddie called, unable to stop himself. You looked at him, your bottom lip sucked in and nervous energy radiating off you. “I, ah… I don’t… know what happened. If something did happen. Or whatever. But if you need anything at all… I’m here, you know?”

You hesitated for a second, then nodded. It wasn’t enough for him. He continued, “Because I liked that we were friends. We were friends, right? And we should be. Now. We have a lot in common. Actually,”

“You mean we both live in a trailer park and are repeating our senior year?” you asked deadpan.

It threw Eddie. For a second, he thought he’d upset you, but then he noticed you weren’t moving to leave anymore. “Yeah… And, we both like… weed… and horror… and there’s gotta be other things, right?”

You studied his face. Eddie had grown up a lot in the years you’d been a nameless moon, orbiting his bright planet. He’d grown into a beautiful person. And it wasn’t just the big brown eyes. He was kind, sweet. You’d seen how he’d adopted all the freak freshmen, taking them under his wing and offering a level of notoriety that meant protection.

“You want to be my friend?” you asked him.

“Yeah. I do,” he answered confidently, puffing his chest out a little.

“You’re not just like, fishing for information? Wanna know where I went?”

Eddie was a little hurt you’d think that about him, but he could see you were more hurt. He shook his head, said as softly as he could, “I kinda just miss you.”

And there it was. It broke you just a bit. You’d missed him too. You missed any semblance of normality. You sighed and stepped close to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Eddie made a surprised little ‘oh’ sound but quickly wrapped his arms around you, squeezing tight. He waited until you stepped away first, not wanting to spook you.

“So, Fright Night?” you asked, moving back to the couch, casually lifting the knitted jumper you were wearing over your head, throwing it aside.

Eddie’s jaw fell slack. Your back was to him, but you wore only a tank top, and the colours and patterns all up your arms were so vivid. Covered in bright illustrations, you were a walking piece of art. He’d managed to close his mouth and follow you to the couch by the time you sat down.

He sat next to you, turning his attention back to the film, scared to even look at you. There was a smirk on your face as you noticed how still Eddie had gone.

“If you let me share a bowl, I’ll let you ask about the tattoos,” you said.

“Oh, thank FUCK,” he breathed out. “You’ve always been cute, but, ah, Jesus…”

You laughed at him, a proper laugh, one that sounded unfamiliar to you. Eddie had grabbed your arms and was studying the tattoos so closely you thought maybe he was trying to commit them to memory. He looked at you, those goddamn big puppy dog eyes.

“I really fucking missed you,” he whispered. “And I’m glad you’re here.”

[midnightdevotion]

Reckless

Prompt: One character pulls a muscle, and the other gives a back rub.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x reader callsign Viper

a/n: I really hope this is cute! I've never written iceman before but hopefully you guys enjoy it!!

Your mother didn't raise a fool, she did however raise someone with absolutely no instinct for survival. It did not matter how risky or how albeit stupid the stunts you pulled were, if you wanted to you were doing it.

This drove Iceman insane, of course, you're a phenomenal pilot possibly better than anyone else at top gun, but god dammit you scare the shit out of iceman every day.

It's not even just in the cockpit of a plane you have no regard for your safety. Just last week, he literally watched as you picked a bar fight with a man that can only be described as three times the size of you. Let's not even mention the heart attack he had when we watched you hang more than halfway out of a car shouting the words to some song like there was no care for the fact that one wrong bump and you'd fall out.

You never notice how iceman is never that far away from you, but every other aviator on the team definitely does. It's clear as day the love Tom has for you. The way he is so protective of you but tries to be nonchalant, or the way his eyes light up when he sees you and your thankfully not injured. The panic in his voice or the worry on his face every time you're doing another reckless thing.

Today is no different for you, of course, you're going to make another reckless decision. Iceman always wakes up with a passing thought of oh god what is going to happen today. He doesn't see you until you are making your way onto the tarmac to do drills.

"Hey, ice! Ready to get that heart racing" You throw a bright grin his way, and what you don't know is his heart is already racing.

"With you Vipes? Anyday" he grins back at you. A snort brings his attention away from your smile, looking over he sees a smug maverick.

"When you just gonna tell her you are in love with her" he hates the smugness in his tone, and he hates that he has been so transparent with his feelings.

"Why dont you fuck off maverick." Tom huffs before trekking over to his plane, hoping for once you don't scare the shit out of him. Alas that would be a hope that doesn't come true.

It's twenty minutes into running drills, you guys are doing great, throwing sarcastic comments and even flirty lines back and forth when all of the sudden you have a bird strike.

It's like iceman can't even breathe, he watches you lose your engines, going through the steps to try and save the plane before yourself. It must have been less than a minute but it feels like it's been an eternity. He can hear his blood rushing as he watches your plane sink lower and lower and he doesn't even register he's the one screaming at you to eject.

"Why aren't you ejecting, stop trying to save the damn plane and just EJECT" iceman shouts, he finally hears you over the comms announcing that you are going to eject and he doesn't even have the chance to exhale because you were definitely to close to the ground when you ejected.

He watched as you barrelled to the ground, hitting it way too hard for you not to be injured.

____

You were getting checked out by the doctors when he landed, he paced the hall outside the infirmary waiting for when he could see you. Why was it taking so damn long, it had been an hour since you had to eject.

After another 20 excruciating minutes, he was finally given the all-clear to come and see you. He was shocked when he saw you sitting up and laughing with the nurse.

"What the fuck were you thinking y/l/n" you looked up shocked to see the rage on Tom's face. He's walking up to you so fast you can't really process much of this at all, doesn't help that you have a concussion.

You think he's gonna yell more, but he immediately starts checking you for injuries.

"Ice...ice.... TOM" it takes several tries to get his attention "I'm fine, I have a mild concussion and the nurse said ill probably be really sore the next week or so." You can visibly see his shoulders react and you are confused.

"Tom, why are you so worried? This is part of the job?" of course he knows this, but goddamn all he wants to do is keep you safe.

"I know! god dammit I know we dont have a safe job! but you're always reckless, if it's not the goddamn job it's something else! I can't lose you y/n I fucking love you" and suddenly time is going slower than it was when he watched you fall out of the sky.

"Jesus Christ it only took me falling out of a plane to get you to say that??" you huff a laugh, and tom is confused because did you know? You must see it on his face because you instantly add "Tom I've loved you for so long but whenever I asked you about dating you always said you weren't interested in dating because you wanted to focus on your career."

He almost screams. How had he been so clueless, he was pining and putting himself through hell because he didn't think you'd want him back. So he did the only logical thing he could think of, and he kissed you.

The kiss was needy, borderline rough, and exactly what you both needed after he almost watched you die. You wanted nothing more than to never stop kissing him but everything hurt.

"As much as I love that we finally get to do this, I am so sore I might actually cry and I just don't think that would make for a good story" you grin sheepishly up at him. You can see the sparkle in his eyes as he laughs, grabbing your shoulders to have you lay down.

"that's totally okay darling, let me give you a massage" You sigh contentedly as he starts to massage your aching muscles.

Yeah being reckless was your trademark way before tom but god damn did you love how protective he was when you were doing something he didn't like. For now, it'll be your little secret that you might put yourself in more reckless situations than necessary just to get his attention.

He watched as you fell asleep, he continued to rub your back not willing to admit that after today he never wanted you out of arms reach again.

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