#i'm so sad she's as underrated as she is

[astridthevalkyrie]

once a mai defender always a mai defender

[gingermintpepper]

I know everyone knows the story of Actaeon and how he met a terrible fate by stumbling upon Artemis bathing in her forest but did you know that Actaeon was Apollo's grandson? That his father was Aristaeus, lord of the bees and the rustic arts and his mother was Autonoe, daughter of Cadmus and princess of Thebes?

Did you know he was trained by Chiron? That he was considered a hunter so skilled his talent was considered divine, that he was his parents' only child and that he was loved?

Did you know the grief that consumed the household when word of Actaeon's fate reached them? That Cadmus cut his hair, that Harmonia wept and was disconsolate and that his parents... well, Autonoe walked the length of the forest, keeping a sharp eye out for her son, but all she saw were the scattered bones of a fawn. Aristaeus too, had heard his son was torn apart and so fruitlessly, foolishly searched for the bones of a man. (There was none to be found)

Did you know that it was Actaeon's ghost, unhappy and unburied, trapped on the earth, who leaned over his sleeping father and told him of his fate? "You will not find me as you knew me, gather me as a stag." And Aristaeus immediately woke his wife and told her the truth, and together they grieved all the night long.

(Did you know that this is why Aristaeus abandons Boeotia? He could not stand the sight of it and so he went to Ceos. And there he slayed the dog-star. And there he became a healing wind. All in the name of his only son, that foolish, beloved Actaeon.)

[wewontbesleeping]

hmm thinking about "i've got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you" in the context not of writing letters addressed to the fire. but of wedding vows. and it's making me sad

[golden-moony]

king of my heart | pt. 3

pairings: lando norris x fem!reader | pato o'ward x fem!reader

warnings: love triangle.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

------------------------------------------------------

yourusername

liked by carlosonoros, marcmarquez93, fernandoalo_oficial, and 70,692 others!

yourusername I had days full of paella, sangría, incredible places, lots of Chili energy and fast cars🏎🔥 What more could I ask for? I'm leaving Barcelona with a giant smile on my face. ¡Nos vemos pronto, España! 🇪🇸❤️

user1 i'll tell my kids this was the queen of Spain

user2 she's the queen of everything tbh

user3 yncarlos friendship is so underrated yet so cute🥹

user4 THEY'RE ADORABLE user5 yncarlos deserve more appreciation fr user6 i meeeeean they would make a really cute couple👀 user7 user6 oh girl no, they are SO sibling coded

user8 4th slide really made me hungry ngl

carlossainz55 i'm just here to say that i was the one who convinced y/n to try paella and in the end she loved it, you're welcome (unlike other people who didn't even dare to try it)

user9 now that's what i call a smooth operation yourusername you were right but just this time🙈 user10 f1 driver, smooth operator, fashion icon and food connoisseur: carlos sainz jr everybody 🙌 user11 who's "other people"??? landonorris IT'S SEAFOOD, CARLOS. I WASN'T GONNA EAT IT. y'all did it on purpose 😒 user12 OMG LANDO LKASJKEDJKG user13 so carlos, lando and y/n were out together? oh we won💅 user14 user13 YNLANDO NATION WE'RE SO BACK

user15 you drop this 👑👑👑

elbaoward the prettiest 🤍

yourusername miss youuuu💖 user16 iconic queens user17 MY FAV SISTERS IN LAW🫶 user18 now THIS is the kind of interactions i wanna see

user19 so after trying to get with lando and then with pato, she's now going after carlos? 😂😂

user20 user19 there's a thing called "friendship", in case you've never heard of it user21 she wants to be a wag so badly it's embarrassing user22 i mean it's the only way she can be relevant so🤷

user23 PRECIOSA 😍😍

user24 hope you had a great time in Spain, queen. come back soon❤️

user25 can she stop going to the races? I swear to God whenever she's around, Lando does poorly.

user26 as an indycar fan, i don't want her around either 😩 user27 SHE BRINGS BAD LUCK FR user28 and what does that have to do with her? if Lando is underperforming then that's on him lol

user29 so pretty omg 😫

user30 bestie please share your skincare routine

yourusername posted to their story!

patriciooward

liked by tkanaan, elbaoward, schecoperez, and 72,031 others!

patriciooward camera roll lately📸

user1 we really lost another one, ladies 😢

user2 girl i wanna be sad but they're so cute it's impossible😭 user3 user2 THIS IS SUCH A MOOD user4 at least we know he's in good hands 🫡

user5 CAN YOU TWO ADOPT ME?

user6 i always knew he was boyfriend material omg

user7 boyfriend of the year fr 🔥 user8 bro's in love and so am i (of them)

yourusername 4th slide is my fav cause you can see the most perfect O'ward😍 and Pato by her side

elbaoward love u babe 😻 brettkimbro elbaoward excuse me? 🤨 patriciooward yourusername EXCUSE ME yourusername i said what i said 😛 user9 i want to be their friend so bad

user10 COUPLE GOALS

user11 lando could never. yn really went for an upgrade and she didn't disappoint💅

user12 what does lando has to do with any of this?? user13 omfg girl get over it user14 she went for lando's cheaper version* user15 ynpato fans are obsessed with Lando and it shows😂

user16 i screamed with 6th slide ngl

user17 yes they're cute but CAN WE TALK ABOUT PATO ON PODIUM? THAT'S MY BOYYY🥳

user18 he deserved that so much 🥹 user19 so happy for hiiiiiiiim 🥹 user20 this weekend we got a pato podium AND ynpato moments on live tv, we really won user21 and some people say that yn brings bad luck lol user22 user21 literal clowns

arrowmclaren successful on and off track🤩

user23 admin you're so real for this user24 ADMIN IS ONE OF US

user25 MOM AND DAD ARE SO PRETTY

user26 pato's ig is about to become a yn fanpage and i'm SO here for it

user27 i mean no one can blame him tbh user28 patriciooward c'mon bestie drop more pics don't be shy

user29 in his lover era 🫶

user30 yn and pato are both SO fine🔥 they're meant to be

user31 where can I find a man who'll post me like pato posts yn?😭

user32 yn really needs to share the secret

yourusername posted to their story!

yourusername

liked by mattyp1, alex_albon, shelovesformula1, and 54, 102 others!

yourusername Always a great time, Austria 🤍

user1 QUEEN WHERE WERE YOU?

user2 it was so strange not having your stories talking about the highlights of the race🥺 hope everything is okay

user3 something about this feels so off

user4 glad to see i wasn't the only one thinking this user5 i meaaaan she posts this 3 days after the race?? something definitely happened user6 this caption feels so empty compared to the ones she usually writes user7 i mean we knew something was going on when she didn't post her usual post-race ig stories user8 she suddenly disappearing and pato deleting all her pics from his ig… yeah i'm pretty sure they broke up

user9 is everything okay? 🥺 we love you no matter what, queen!

user10 pato, elba and felix doesn't follow yn anymore omg i think i'm about to freak out😢

user11 why comment this on her post? even if something happened is none of our business. user12 GIRL I'M PANICKING

lissiemackintosh gorgeous💖

user13 why is people so dramatic? maybe yn was just tired or busy or whathever, she doesn't have to be online everyday jesus christ

user14 THANK YOU. everyone's acting like yn doesn't have a personal life outside social media user15 say it louder girl!!!! 👏👏

user16 does anyone knows if we're gonna get a vlog this week?

user17 idk yn hasn't said anything about it user18 i really doubt it tbh

user19 so pato broke up with this clout chaser? glad he's smarter than what i thought

user20 proud of my mclaren boys for getting away from this "lady" user21 user20 now we just need to keep oscar away from this bitch. user22 this is such an unnecessary comment. user23 spread your hate somewhere else, you're not welcome here.

user24 if pato and yn really broke up i'm gonna be so sad 😭

user25 i really don't get all this comments. can we actually talk about how beautiful she is???

user26 RIGHT??? she always slays with her looks user27 sis we know she's pretty but we love drama

user28 y'all wdym she and pato already broke up???😂😂😂 that didn't last long huh

user29 so funny yet so real user30 i always said pato deserved better, glad he realized it too

user31 the comments on this post are disgusting. if you don't like her then ignore her and leave her alone.

user32 people are so childish🙄 user33 user32 people are just seeing her for what she really is and it was about time lol

user34 i never thought i'd be alive to witness yn's downfall but i'm READY FOR THIS 🍿🍿

hope y'all don't hate me too much for all of this lol but i wanted drama. next part (probably) will be the last! so see u there🤍

taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65 @littlexscarletxwitch @sheslikeacurse @charlottejpg @lichterfee @callsignwidow @phantomxoxo @stinkyjax @rubywingsracing @willowpains @urfavsgf @biitch-with-wifi @lightdragonrayne @illicitverstappen @herebereblogs @tvdtw4ever @nataliambc

[cl-0v3r]

Just a small rant that would probably have the entire fandom after me,

Why do we get so much Vi and Jinx merchandise & content but barley anything of the other characters? I'm well aware that the story mostly revolves around the sisters and that it gets Riot & Fortiche a lot of money considering their huge fanbase, but what about the others?? Why can't they release figures and posters of the other characters?? Im genuinely tired of seeing someone going "omg guys new arcane merch!! New arcane art!!!!!" And its just Vi and Jinx.

I want to see official Mel figures and posters, I want silly little Mel keychains, a Mel funkopop, what do you mean I can't have a waterbottle with Mel on it?? God not even Fan-made merch has Mel in it and thats really sad especially since she's a really important character too. All we have are her earrings and ring (which im not complaining tho, they're everything to me).

I've barley seen any Jayce or Viktor, neither do I see much of sevika or caitlyn or Ekko (despite the fact that 4 out of 5 ARE IN THE GAME.) Being added, and its surprising that cait is literally in that list because a lot of people love her too.

What I'm saying is, I feel like they should definitely divert their focus from the sisters and pay more attention to the other characters, I'm sure people would go wild over them, especially the more underrated ones (ahem, Mel, Viktor and Jayce please?!?!?!?!?!??) Like even if its just a poster of them that they post online.

Im hoping season 2's new merchandise includes them, im begging, my wallet is going to cry but please thats all I ask for 😭

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[casscainmainly]

Bruce Wayne & Cassandra Cain in Batgirl (2000)

My last post covered the top 10 moments overall, but I had to skip a lot of my favourite moments involving specifically Batman and Batgirl. So here's a non-comprehensive, chronological list of great Bruce & Cass moments!!

Who Does She Remind You Of?

One of the most interesting things about their relationship is that initially, Cass doesn't have a name and doesn't know Bruce's name; they are purely Batgirl and Batman. This lack of alter ego allows Bruce to identify very heavily with Cass, and sets up the foundation for why Bruce acts the way he does later. He views Cass as a mirror of himself, which has both positive and negative repercussions.

You Can't Understand A Word I'm Saying

EXTREMELY underrated Bruce and Cass moment from Issue #2. Though I believe they fundamentally understand each other, there's still a disconnect between them (a disconnect Cass shares with everyone). But this disconnect goes both ways - Bruce is the one having trouble communicating here, saying 'I don't know how to say this' and pausing frequently (this speech pattern is very reminiscent of Cass' inner monologue towards the end of this run!). A great example of how neither of them are fully able to express the depth of their feelings towards each other.

Denial

A pivotal moment in Bruce's conception of Cass. When confronted with evidence that she killed a man, Bruce goes into complete denial. She's 'gentle', fully understanding his rejection of murder; how can she be a murderer? It's indicative of just how much he's projecting onto Cass, but also how much he genuinely cares about her. The second panel is underrated too - like David Cain, Bruce sees Cass as 'perfect', a word that will haunt Cass for arcs to come. This is where we start to see how Bruce's belief in Cass' perfection and morals negatively impacts her self-conception (as a perfect tool/weapon).

Good Answer

An incredible moment that's classic for a reason. Perfectly encapsulates both Cass' instinctive desire to protect, and Bruce's recognition of how similar Cass is to him. Also how his belief in her, however unintentionally, feeds into her death wish.

Jason Todd

Another underrated moment!!! This is the first major instance of conflict between death-wish Cass and no-more-dead-kids Bruce, and it's delicious. Bruce willingly opens up to her about Jason's death, and moreover, by comparing Cass to Jason, positions her as his child as well. It's sweet and sad and explains some of Bruce's more overprotective moments.

Denial 2

Not really denial but thematically it fits. When Bruce is framed for murder, the Batfam try to figure out what really happened. Cass sees that Dick has doubts, and helps him re-enact the murder so that he can believe in Bruce again. Not only is it a super sweet Dick-Cass moment, but it also shows how Cass believes in Bruce just as much as Bruce believes in Cass.

Good

A short and sweet moment that showcases how similar these two are. Bruce isn't exactly being a good dad here, but Cass genuinely DIDN'T enjoy that vacation. They just get each other. This is one of many, many times that Cass answers one of Bruce's questions perfectly (and makes Bruce smile).

Overprotective Dad Mode

In the second part of Batgirl (2000), Cass begins to explore her sexuality. This leads to issues of varying quality, BUT we do get tons of overprotective Bruce. A nice showcase of Bruce doing typical dad stuff, and Superman looking SO done. Also Cass in that first panel is hilarious.

Realisation

After lots of (rightful) heckling from Babs, Bruce finally realises that the way he's been using and treating Cass isn't right. Though this speech is couched in a lot of dismissive language ('disobedient', 'she was loyal'), I think that's just Bruce's inability to communicate. He cannot admit how much he cares for her. So he decides to fire her and tells her she jeopardises the MISSION (which, obviously, makes Cass feel terrible). Even when he's trying to put her first, his lack of communication skills only hurts her.

He Never Let Me Touch Him

The Bruce and Cass scene to END all Bruce and Cass scenes. Each panel is loaded with meaning. The first shows that despite Bruce's similarities to Cain, he still IS different; he is willing to be vulnerable around her, and allows her to do the same around him. The third panel is particularly interesting. Underneath all the ideological sniping between him and Babs, Bruce is jealous - he wants to be the centre of Cass' life and loyalty. Cass, however, doesn't fall into the trap. By pointing to the Bat, she both affirms her loyalty to his mission but also refuses any box he can put her in. She is his daughter, but she is not only his daughter, and never will be.

Honourable mention: the only reason I didn't put the Father's Day panel here was because I've already written about it. Also the scene where they mutually touch each other's faces and turn away of course!

[kurogane2512]

It's so real! There are no fics for Jade and it's so sad 😭 Can I ask you for a Jade x top fem reader? She's so cocky and flirty I need to put her in her place

I'm genuinely surprised the hate for her got this serious, especially here on Tumblr where people simp for the most heinous of characters as long as they are hot 💀 Sigh, looks like another underrated character I'll be doing justice to 😤

18+ CONTENT

Game: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: Jade x fem!reader

Type: Smut

Jade's heels tapped against the floor as she elegantly walked towards her office, only to be immediately met with the sight of her secretary pacing back n forth on a call.

"Yes sir, we can assure you that the conditions will be seen through. Hm? Sorry, Ms Jade won't be available for a meeting anytime soon. Shall I get you to Ms Topaz or Mr Aventurine instead?"

Jade smirked watching you talk with full focus, so much so that you didn't even notice her come in. She placed her hat on the stand and silently walked towards you right at the moment you suddenly turned around and almost bumped into her.

"S-Sorry, ma'am!" you mouthed an apology while still on the call.

Jade nodded with a smile then you walked around her and went to her table to write down some notes. She waited for some more minutes but was getting impatient now as the call kept going on. She then walked up to you again and stood behind you, close enough to cage you against the table so you wouldn't walk away. You felt her presence behind you and looked over your shoulder to ask if she wanted something but she simply smiled and wrapped her arms around you.

You jolted forward and leaned against the table. Jade smirked more then pressed her front to your back, her breasts squeezing into your body while her lips neared your ear. Her warm breath tickled your lobe and you tried to evade but she held on tighter, practically burying her face in your shoulder. You felt her lips make light kisses up and down and her tongue lap up your neck while her hands fiddled with your shirt buttons.

"Mhm— Y-Yes, I will inform her.... ngh....T-Thank you, good day to you...."

You finally finished speaking and were about to cut the call when Jade snatched the phone from your hand and cut it for you before throwing it away on the sofa.

"M-Ma'am, sorry to keep you waiting—"

"Hmm, it's alright considering you were doing my work~"

Jade whispered against your ear and lightly bit the edge before abruptly letting go of you and stepping away.

"Fetch me some wine, would you? I feel it's been a long day~"

You pondered for a bit then sneered and suddenly went up to her to grab her waist, pulling her flush against you.

"I think I have a better solution than wine~"

Jade's eyes flared, "Is that so? Perhaps I'll be so kind to indulge you— aaahn!~"

Jade moaned out in surprise as you pinned her to the nearest wall and immediately connected your lips. Her hands groped and felt you all over before settling to wrap around your neck and grasp your hair, pushing you into a deeper kiss. Her leg hiked up against your thigh and she slyly rubbed it up and down making her body rut into you.

"Mmm~ How long were you holding back to do this?~"

"All day~"

Jade chuckled before passionately kissing you again. Only reason you had become so riled up was her constant teasings throughout the day. You kissed her neck and down her chest, your hands fondling her breasts as you pulled off her bra. Your knee rubbed against her clothed core, she bit her lower lip with the way you kneaded her breasts and wanted you to do more.

"How about we skip the foreplay today? I think both of us are ready enough~"

If that's she wanted, then you'd oblige with no questions. Soon you found yourself donning a strap-on that was specially kept in her office for these moments you shared. Jade was planning to make you wait more but her plans were in shambles the moment you bent her against her table, her own body not denying you at all.

"Oh! How rough you are today! Were you so stressed?~"

"No, I'm just.... I can't wait anymore~"

You caressed Jade's drenched folds before rubbing the tip of the cock against it, she hummed and rested more on the table waiting for you to take your time but you didn't give her a moment as you quickly shoved forward. The well-lubed instrument went inside her with ease, the entirety nestled in her warmth and hilted to the base. Jade moaned from the penetration then held the edges of the table as you set a harsh pace right away, drilling forward with reckless abandon.

"Aaah.... aaahn~ Y-Yes..... faster! Hmmm..... you are doing well!~"

You grasped her butt and kneaded the flesh as you pounded into her, your thighs slapping against her ass. Jade was slightly overwhelmed with the pace, but she could still take it. Her body arched as you shifted closer and went even deeper, the length prodding all her sweet spots at once. You watched her moan out in pleasure and lose her mind, the sight only making you go faster and harder.

You slammed into her at an animalistic pace, it was surreal to see your boss reduced to such a state but she would allow only you to do this to her. That's the whole reason she teased you so much. You were well aware of her tactic as well, you were more than happy to play along since you got to see her in this ecstatic state. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around her waist then rutted into her.

"Aaaah, that's good.... Doing so well for me, darling~" Jade prasied you to do more, to fuck her better, and that's what you did.

You turned her over soon afted to lay her on her back. She sat up and pulled you closer by wrapping her arms and legs around you, her lips ensnaring yours in a messy kiss before she threw her head back as you bucked your hips harder.

"Yes.... I'm close.... right there~ Keep doing that~"

Jade pulled you closer by your tie and touched her forehead to yours, moaning and gasping against your lips as you plunged in and out before shoving deep at a particular spot, instantly making her release on the toy. Jade moaned loudly but so sweetly, her voice was addicting and you could never have enough of it. She panted out and pecked your lips before smirking, "You know this is not enough for me, right?~"

Of course, you knew that. It wasn't enough for you either.

[elliespassagerprincess]

I hardly seen any love for Dina can you maybe do one her shy x popular trope

One chance - (popular!dina x shy!reader)

hi anon, firstly real! we need more Dina fics! I'm sorry if this sucks I struggle with writing fluff lmao, but i hope you enjoy :)

Pairing: dina x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: none

Summary: In which the popular girl asked you out

authors note: on a serious note we need more dina fics, she's sooooo fine but so underrated and it's so sad

masterlist

"Earth to Dina"

"huh?"

"Dina are you ok?" Ellie asked concerned at her friends spaced out expression.

"I'm fine"

no she wasn't.

Dina was not fine.

She was fucking fuming. Why? Because you were giving someone else attention.

Dina had always wanted to be a cheerleader. Ever since she was a little girl, she watched countless videos on YouTube for cheer routines, and she memorized them all.

As soon as she became a freshman in high-school she immediately auditioned, and as if god was on her side she became the caption and she stayed the caption up until her senior year.

She fucking loved to cheer.

The makeup, the routines, the crowd screaming for them.

For her.

God she loved it all the attention. She loved all the people around her, people praising her, and telling her that she did a good job.

Dina was the classic popular girl and as cliché as it was, this was who she was and she loved every fucking second of it.

It was like no other day.

She stood at the entrance of the field, watching the football teams run out.

She observed the other cheer teams standing next to hers, they were pretty, but surely they weren't as talented.

The whistle blew and a grin spread on to Dina's face, as she jogged out the massive doors, her squad running behind her.

The crowd cheered as the girls came out, and Dina proudly raised her pompoms, shaking them slightly.

Her gaze fell onto the crowd, as she tried spotting people wearing the schools colors but her eyes fell on you.

woah.

She's never seen you before.

Holy fucking shit.

For the rest of the night, Dina's eyes lingered on you.

Every time they had to perform, she always kept and eye on you, hoping you'd make eye contact.

You never looked her way.

You wanted to but you were scared.

You'd only join the school a month ago and you remembered on your first day of school, you saw her.

The pretty girl with the dark hair.

That's what you called her until you were told her name was Dina.

Dina. Dina. Dina. Dina Dina.

She was all you could think about.

Everywhere you went there was a reminder of Dina.

You saw a bow? Dina wears bows.

You saw someone wearing blue? Dina always wears blue converse.

You wanted to talk to her so fucking bad, but you couldn't. Every time you got close to her it felt like you were going to piss yourself.

You made her a paper flower one day, hoping you'd be able to give it to her. You'd hype up yourself in the mirror but as soon as you saw her, the confidence you once felt fell away.

"C'mon lets go" your friend Abby begged. She'd been asking you to the football game all week but you weren't in the mood for the loud crowds and all the screaming.

"let me stay home dude" you replied

"Dina will be there"

That's all you needed to hear. You raced to get ready, and you put on a orange jumper hoping the bright color might catch Dina's attention.

You sat on the field with hundreds of other people, you anxiously waited for her, you realized that her seeing you would be unlikely due to the amount of people that filled the seats.

All you remember was the crowd cheering and Dina jogging out, wearing her blue converse. There was a grin on her face as her team followed her and she looked fucking perfect.

As hard as you tried not to look at her you couldn't help it.

She stood in front so obviously you were gonna look at her.

She performed with so much confidence, with so much grace. You could truly look at her forever.

When the game came to an end her squad asked if she wanted to go out with them, but Dina kindly declined because she had other plans.

She had to talk to this pretty girl that distracted her throughout the whole game.

Dina walked through the crowd, trying to avoid all the people who were trying to talk to her.

She was growing frustrated. Where the fuck were you?

Just as she was about to lose hope, she spotted your orange jumper. You stood on the side of the road talking on your phone. Dina slowly walked towards you and she didn't mean to listen to your conversation but she did.

"Abby i swear to god if you don't come pick me up in 5 minutes I'm going to kill you"

Dina softly giggled at how overdramatic you were. You put your phone into your pocket on you sighed.

Dina could walk away right now, she could turn away and you would never have to know about this.

Fuck it. Dina wasn't a pussy.

She tapped you on shoulder, and you turned around. Your eyes met with the girl you've been silently in love with for the last month.

Fuck.

"Hi" Dina started, giving you her charming smile.

Your mouth went dry and you felt so fucking nervous. She could probably see how you were shaking.

"Hi" you replied meeting her gaze shyly.

"Well I'm Dina and i just wanted to say you're really pretty and i was wondering if i could have your number?"

You wanted to pinch yourself. Is this even real? Was this a prank?

"yeah" was all you said without looking at her. You watched Dina reach into her bag to pull out her phone, and she silently watched as you put in your number.

"You don't talk much do you?" She laughed awkwardly as she took her phone from your hand.

"Yeah" was all you said.

Dina didn't text you. Its been 2 weeks.

Its not that she didn't want to, but she was terrified.

You barely spoke to her that night, who says you'll even text her back?

You on the other hand saw the situation differently. You thought she was taking you for a fool. Someone like Dina would never just ask for your number.

As the weeks went by you and Dina make eye contact, she would give you a small smile and you would just walk away with a nod. You'd make no effort to talk to her because she made you so fucking nervous.

Dina hated this. She hated that she wanted someone that can barley look at her. But here she was getting mad at you for talking to someone else.

Some blonde bitch sat with you and you acted so differently. You laughed, you fucking smiled and showed emotion, but when Dina was around you barely uttered a word to her.

You drove her insane.

"Dude why are you fucking lying?"

"what?" Dina asked.

She actually forgot Ellie was sitting here.

"You keep looking at her and Abby"

so that's what her name was.

"What's your deal with them?" Ellie persisted.

She might as well admit it.

"She isn't the problem, Abby is"

Ellies gaze fell to you and Abby for a while before it all clicked.

"Dude are you jealous? do you have a fucking crush on her or something?"

"Yeah" Dina admitted "but I don't know anything about her, i tried talking to her, but she doesn't say much"

Dina quickly glazed to you before she groaned in frustration

"she doesn't" Ellie confirmed.

"She only talks to Abby, she's quite shy in my opinion"

shy is an understatement.

Dina was losing her mind. Every time she sees you and Abby together she feels sick. But at the same time she's too pussy to talk to you or to even text you.

Dina could perform in front of thousands of people without batting an eye but she could barley say hi to you.

You were fucking breaking her.

Dina went to an empty classroom to let off some steam and to her surprise you sat there.

"Hi" Dina said in amazement.

"Hi" you responded looking everywhere in the room but her.

'just fucking look at me' Dina thought to herself.

"What are you doing here?" She asked you.

"Abby isn't here today, i didn't feel like sitting alone"

Dina's fist clenched tightly at the mention of Abby.

"Can i ask you something?" Dina randomly asked, after staring at you for a while.

"yeah"

"why don't you want me?"

"What?"

Dina dropped her backpack and she made her way towards you: "like you- fuck- why don't you look at me? I always look at you"

You wanted to run out the room, this was all happening too fast. "Dina-"

"no listen, i know nothing about you but you seem like a really sweet girl, please just one chance" she begged.

You would give her a million chances.

"Yeah..." you started, you looked around the room one last time before you finally made eye contact with Dina.

"so are you gonna take me on a date?" You smiled at her shyly.

Dina chucked and she responded with one word: "yeah"

[snixkers]

How would the BAU react to self-harm scars?

Obviously, TW for SH (nondescriptive) and coping mechanisms involved??? Minorly suggestive

Had this sitting in my ask box for forever! Format is a little different, hopefully that's OK!

Love you all xx

(With the s3 era team, will add more if requested)

Aaron Hotchner

-Okay, first, we know he's a very stoic guy

-Probably wouldn't want to make a big deal out of it

-Privately, he'd definitely speak to you about it

-If you don't want to talk, he'll offer support in other ways

-Checks in after a case, long day, etc.

-Lil smiles all the time

David Rossi

-Just kidding

-Always there w/ money

-He knows money can't solve this

-But he'd pat your shoulder and other old people forms of affection

-I'm actually not sure

-You might get a hug?

-But dw he's there to listen

Spencer Reid

-Ik most of y'all were waiting for him

-Statistics and facts

-Reassures you that you're allowed to not feel good

-Tries to redirect your coping mechanisms

-Does research on how he can help you

-Man is out there scouring WebMD

-Makes you eat foods that promote dopamine

Emily Prentiss

-Ughhh self indulging here

-Absolutely there to listen

-She's got the wine, the playlist, the movies

-Romantic or not she's gonna cheer you up

-Maybe with some kisses? 🤨

-No but really

-She's your shoulder to cry on

Derek Morgan

-He's actually so underrated oml

-There to talk

-Would probably try to goof around at first

-But this guy's not just a jock

-Seriously a great guy to talk to

-Forgiving and understanding

JJ

-Ok so this here is my fav

-She moms out on you

-Definitely makes you talk to her

-But would back off if you told her to

-She's constantly checking up on you and trying to do what she can

-She's also got experience from Rosalyn

-Determined to help

Penelope Garcia

-Omg this woman is gonna be your best friend or worst enemy

-She absolutely will pull you into her lil Batcave and chat

-Wants to hug out all the sadness

-Seriously. So. Many. Hugs.

-Also picks up your favorite foods

-Invites you to parties and such

-Sends you Facebook memes to make you feel better

-Or kittens

[justarandombrit]

Okay well as you may know from looking at my blog for five seconds, I saw the matinee for Starkid Innit. During the interval and after the show I wrote down some notes. I tried to get them in chronological order but my memory is dogshit and I definitely missed some stuff, I hope you appreciate it though.

Outside:

. EVERYONE SUNG GRANGER DANGER

. IT WAS SO GOOD (except for the high note lmao)

. EVERYONE SUNG DAYS OF SUMMER

. EVERYONE A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE SUNG GOIN' BACK TO HOGWARTS

Act 1:

. The Nightmare Time sting punched me in the face

. The shout-out to the confused parents

. BRIAN + MEREDITH IN TGWDLM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

. High School Is Killing Me, Literal Monster and Nerdy Prudes Must Die all got mashed together!

. Corey!Richie is my Roman Empire

. Jaime in NPMD….

. Jaime had a different line to PJ’s original in Literal Monster. I couldn't hear half of it but it was different

. JEFF!MAX

. THE AUDIENCE SINGING RICHIE'S PART!!!!!! I'M NOT A LOSERRRRRRR

. TOGETHER!!!!!

. OUR DOORS ARE OPEN

. Jaime singing Sami/Harry ABOUT HER DOG (Nori)

. The audience whipping out the phone cameras

. CLARK SINGING I WAS GAVE ME SUCH INTENSE CHILLS

. Joey finally giving the white, male side characters attention

. Joey changing “I know I'm not a star” to “I know I'm not Clark”

. He pointed the mic at the audience for the “DEFINITELY NOT!”

. Joey mistimed his jump 😔😔

. Genuinely his best performance of Sidekick yet

. Joey making fun of Brian for not getting a big solo

. Brian kept pretending to beat him up, it was brilliant

. Not Over Yet is definitely Brian's song, shut up

. Brian accidentally singing the same verse twice (How does he always mess this song up?!?!?)

. My mum took a photo during the “EVIL PLAAAAANSSSS” bit and it was right when Brian was choking Joey

. “So look alive and don't forget”

“FORGET WHAT?”

. FEAST OR FAMINE

. Rogues Are We still goes so hard

. Rogues Medley without Kick It Up A Notch is weird, but Kick It Up A Notch without Dylan would definitely be weirder

Intermission:

. Ice cream :D

Act 2:

. Starting with We Got Work To Do is so iconic

. THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE IN THE CLIMATE, SOMETHING'S IN THE AIR, WE FEEL THE HEAT, NO NEED TO DEFINE IT, WE DON'T REALLY CARE

. MEREDITH REQUESTED BACK ON TOP!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS SO GOOOOD!!!!!!!

. Joey shouted “Draco, get on the floor!” at Lauren

. ALL THE UNDERRATED SONGS

. I love how it was hyped up like it was going to be Boy Toy, and then just straight up wasn't lmaooo

. Brian finally got the slow, sexy Hideous Creatures (Take that, Nick Lang!)

. Okay I'm trying to remember the order of the underrated songs they did

. Hideous Creatures (Lauren)

. Pays To Be an Animal (Corey) (He didn't sit in the spotlight and someone yelled “TO THE LEFT, COREY”)

. Get In My Mouth (Jeff) (He fully sprawled out on the stage it was hilarious)

. Land of the Dicks (Jaime)

. Hermione Can't Draw (Meredith) (She sung it so well I briefly didn't recognise the song)

. THEY MANAGED TO WORK IN LUPIN / BRIAN CAN'T SING YESSSS

. I genuinely cannot remember what Brian sung

. Gotta Find His Dick (Joey, and eventually everyone)

. The entire “Oh you wanna know where I got my shirt?” bit

. Brian, Jaime and Joey got it from Primark, Meredith got it from “Primed-mrak”, Lauren’s was a family heirloom, Corey got it from Gucci and Jeff got it from America, from Pri-mart (He made the guy on the drums do a baddum tsh)

. COREY SINGING SHOW STOPPIN' NUMBER. OH MY GOD. (The entire crowd joined in, also, Jeff and Jaime as Steve and Stu)

. Everyone cheering so loud when Joey and Lauren came on stage, and them claiming we had no idea what they were going to sing, and it was actually a completely new song (it was Granger Danger obviously)

. And them continuing to claim it was new throughout the song

. As I expected, I almost cried during Not Alone. Also apparently Darren thought it was going to be a big hit??? And just begrudgingly let them use it for A Very Potter Musical

. Super Friends!

. So sad Jeff’s mic was so quiet for “I WANNA BE A MODERN DANCER”

. THEY SUNG WANNABE BY THE SPICE GIRLS

. The fakeout of everyone leaving stage, then the band coming back on and playing the start of Goin' Back To Hogwarts

. “Darren's not here”

“I'LL DO IT”

. THE AUDIENCE DID THE FIRST PART OF GOIN' BACK TO HOGWARTS ALL BY OURSELVES

. JEFF DID DYLAN'S PART (but he didn't do “All of you to [city name] :( )

. Jeff pointed at various parts of the audience for “Welcome hotties, nerds and tools!” and then whispered “I'm so sorry” immediately after

. Singing (/ shouting) Goin' Back To Hogwarts along with hundreds of other Starkid fans was so exhilarating, I loved it and I almost cried (also I'm gonna be so hoarse tomorrow)

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Underrated Sad Outsiders Moment

"I had to read Great Expectations for English, and that kid Pip, he reminded me of us--- the way he felt marked lousy because he wasn't a gentleman or anything, and the way that girl kept looking down on him. That happened to me once. One time in biology I had to dissect a worm, and the razor wouldn't cut, so I used my switchblade. The minute I flicked it out--- I forgot what I was doing or I would never have done it--- this girl right beside me kind of gasped, and said, "They are right. You are a hood." That didn't make me feel so hot. There were a lot of Socs in that class--- I get put into A classes because I'm supposed to be smart--- and most of them thought it was pretty funny. I didn't, though. She was a cute girl. She looked real good in yellow." (Hinton, 1967)

********

This quote always KILLS me because this is a KID he's just a fourteen year old kid who is so used to being judged and looked down on that it is kind of an afterthought in his story, so normalized that he is no longer surprised and has begun to internalize it and just UGHHH it kills me. Every time something like this is mentioned it's quickly glossed over but I can FEEL his embarassment and that feeling of being inferior and the way that everyone he cares about and looks up to is treated exactly the same by society and its such an important and consistent and underrated part of the book because like everything else in the outsiders it applies to real life and SO many people in the world and much like in the the book it is overlooked and brushed off and never adressed because people want to pretend it isn't a problem when it IS. just...this is will always be one of the saddest parts of the book to me.

(also, kind of unrelated but this specific instance might be a contributing factor as to why Ponyboy 'doesn't care too much for girls' because of this interaction with a 'cute girl' and his own negative self image that she perpetuated)

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

my long ass avery rant that might not make sense but i love her and needed to make this.

a huge rant about my love for avery (i swear im not hating on anyone (except for avery haters... sort of. i respect your opinion but...)) i think the end of my rant makes more sense than the beginning...

IVE MADE A POST ABOUT THIS BUT ILL SAY IT AGAIN. STOP OVERLOOKING AVERY'S TRAUMA. SHE IS SO UNDERRATED AND SUCH A COMPLEX CHARACTER AND I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE IGNORING HER. PEOPLE IN THIS FANDOM BARELY POST ABOUT HER AND IT'S UNBEARABLE (LIKE NO HATE CAUSE I LOVE ALL THE LYRA POSTS BUT HOW ARE PEOPLE POSTING MORE ABOUT A CHARACTER NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT AND NOT AVERY??? LIKE I SAID NOT HATE, I EAT THE LYRA POSTS UP).

she's literally the best character in the series. the brothers don't even come close to her. people who are mad at her for not picking grayson can actually just shove it up their ass bc gray and avery would've never worked out in the long run. avery is a queen and i see people hating on her for so many stupid reasons. not picking gray? giving away the money? being an emily 2.0????????????????????????????? don't even dare compare my queen, my love, my everything to that wretched beast who is now rotting in a coffin underground. some people making reviews on goodreads seriously need to get a life and touch some grass.

as im rereading the main trilogy, i'm writing down quotes from avery so i can make an in depth analysis of her character. it might suck and it will definitely be multiple parts but if no one is gonna acknowledge her trauma, i will. i'm sick and tired of people constantly ranting about grayson and other characters when avery is literally the main character. none of this series would exist if it weren't for avery. the fact that some people are willing to defend their favorite characters when they hurt avery is so so sad to me. like, i love jameson with my entire heart, but treating avery like a puzzle and messing with her self esteem was not cool of him. same goes for grayson and him treating avery like a shitty gold digger who 'hasn't struggled like he has'

i've made posts about this before but i feel the need to make another one. i've seen people defend grayson for treating avery like shit in the first book (some people do it as a joke which is fine but some people are actually serious and it confuses me??). i get that grayson was mad and disappointed that his grand father disinherited him after a lifetime of being told he was going to inherit. his feelings were 100% valid. did he have the right to take it out on avery though? no. not at all. this girl is even more confused that he is and has been nothing but kind to him. him invalidating her feelings and treating her like crap is just so shitty of him. don't get me wrong. he has redeemed himself and i do love him, but seeing people defending him (in a serious way) just gets on my nerves. would you like to be treated the way avery was in tig? i think not.

i'm not as mad about jameson bc 1. he apologized on 'screen' and 2. i don't see people defending him as much as grayson (i don't think i've ever seen a post defending him which is good). i love him too, and what he did was also horrible. i better not ever see a post defending him. his actions are explainable but that doesn't justify them. he really messed with avery's self-esteem, so much as to make her doubt his feelings towards her. the only reason i'm not as mad as with the grayson situation is bc i don't see people defending him as passionately (if at all).

i see this happen in so many fandoms. people gush over the male love interest or the male main character and completely ignore the fmc. the only fandom i don't see this happening in is the folk of the air fandom. jude is getting the attention she deserves which makes me so happy. people willingly ignore what the fmc goes through at the hands of their favorite male character just bc they love them and that is just so absurd to me.

anyways, avery has been through so much fucking trauma it would take me hours to go through it all. she grew up with almost no one by her side, learning how to take care of/protect herself, lost her mother at 15, her best friend moved away a few years before her mom died, her father treated her like dog shit and completely ignore her for her entire life until she inherited the money, she lived in her car, worked her ass off at school and at work to simply keep herself alive, had to deal with drake (although she wasn't his girlfriend, he clearly affected her if she was willing to move into her car bc of him), was almost killed by drake (and, indirectly, skye), sheffield, and eve (and kidnapped by sheffield), it was mentioned in tfg (i believe) that there were other attempts on her life in between thl and tfg, dealt with people constantly belittling her trauma (and her) and saying horrible things about her, she deals with horrible panic attacks after everything she's been through, also deals with crappy self esteem (that was made worse by some of the hawthornes), her privacy was constantly invaded, and, this one is more subtle, but there are instances where she thinks (or does) self harm (like the scene in thl where she's purposefully trying to hurt herself by punching the brick wall blocking off toby's wing. both oren and jameson had to step in to help her). all of these things clearly affected her but barely anyone talks about it? i'm probably missing some things but i just wish she got more attention. she is one of the most forgiving (literally too forgiving. she's willing to forgive people so easily bc she wants to be wanted (but doesn't want to want to be wanted) and have friends)

this girl is much stronger than anyone gives her credit for (the hawthornes would never survive in the 'asylum where they raised her' (whos afraid of little old me by taylor is definitely her song)). this rant is probably all over the place and is really long (but definitely won't be the last). thank you for attending my ted talk.

[ace-of-clubs-and-diamonds]

Too Late I'm Dead

After rushing out from a Jigsaw survivors meeting, you meet another survivor who isn't exactly intent on attending group therapy. A companionship blossoms, and then a friendship. And then, something else.

Rating: Explicit, NSFW 🔞 Fandom: Saw Pairing: Amanda Young x AFAB!Reader Word count: 5.1K Content warnings: Gore, mentions of self-harm (both in the Jigsaw trap context and the more typical context), trauma, PTSD, angst, discussions of disability (since a lot of Jigsaw traps are disabling), Saw is its own warning, smoking, alcohol consumption, flirting, kissing, making out, biting, vaginal fingering, friends to lovers, as is Saw tradition gay shit goes down in the bathroom, reader is AFAB but gender neutral AO3 link: Here

Author's Note: And here’s Blood Fest Week 3, with the keywords “twisted” and “fixation” and the prompts “traps” and “rage”!! “Traps”, of course, got me thinking about Saw. And since I’m down terribly bad for Amanda and have seen appallingly few fics for her…. well, why not? Underrated characters are kind of my signature anyway. Hope y’all enjoy! <3

“Hi everyone. My name is Brandon and…. I’m a Jigsaw survivor.”

A subdued chorus of Hi Brandons echoed around the small church room. You barely even bothered to mouth the words. The gesture felt about as empty as the tipped over plastic water bottle you’d discarded by your chair some time ago. There was coffee at the sad makeshift snack table too, as well as a box of pastries that looked a few days past their prime, but you figured you didn’t need the caffeine to make you any more jittery than you already were. Your leg was bouncing enough as it was.

“It’s been about a year since uh. Well.” Brandon smiled nervously and made a vague, fluttery gesture with his hands. “Well. You know.”

A quiet, obligatory response from the other people – a murmur, a nod of heads. You stared at your bouncing knee.

“I’ve made great progress with my recovery. My knees have healed really well. I can fully walk on them again, even run if I’m careful. My dog Rex doesn’t really like it when I’m careful though.” He laughed fondly. A couple others offered the obligatory chuckle. “They hurt if I get too eager with stairs. Or if it’s too humid. But it’s going really well. I’m really, really proud of the progress I’ve made.” He nodded, as if assuring himself.

He’d had to break both his knees in order to get out of his trap. Was in a wheelchair for months and only recently started moving around without it. Or so you’d been told.

You weren’t sure you’d be able to break your own knees.

“Somedays, though.” Brandon looked away from the loose circle you all formed. Blinked rapidly. “Somedays, it feels like I haven’t made any progress. Somedays it’s hard. Really hard. And it feels like I didn’t survive that trap. Or if I did, some part of me got left behind.”

Everyone else was nodding, some with sad, understanding smiles on their faces. Your own pulse thundered in your ears like a distant, approaching storm.

“It’s really hard to have hope on those days, but…. what else can I do?” He shrugged, a helpless smile on his face. “Give up? Wallow around in my own misery? I can’t live like that. No one can live like that. Not forever. You just have to choose. You have to make a choice, just like the choices we made to be here. You have to choose to live. You have to choose hope. Or else you just can’t survive.”

You shot to your feet, heartbeat pounding in your ears, chair scraping back. Every face in the room turned to look at you. The church felt too small. Your ribs felt too tight. You felt too…. seen.

Who was he to judge you for wallowing in what you’d fucking gone through?

You spun around and bee-lined for the exit.

The cool city air against your face was a relief as you barged through the church’s double doors. But you stopped in your tracks as you spotted someone else already there. A woman was sitting on the church stairs. She twisted around, eyebrows raised and half-hidden by the choppy, irregular bangs across her forehead.

“Uh. Hey,” you said, somewhat awkwardly.

She paused, as if uncertain. Of what? You weren’t sure. “Hey,” she eventually said back. Then, after another pause, she twisted further around, a frown crossing her features. “Is the meeting over?”

“No. I just needed some air.” Fuck, you needed something to calm yourself. You dug around in your jacket pockets until you found a lighter and a cigarette. “Um. Do you mind if I…?”

She stared at the cigarette in your hand with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher, but eventually shook her head no. You internally shrugged and lit up. The first drag uncoiled the tension that had built up in your muscles, and you breathed the smoke out on a relieved sigh.

The woman glanced between you and the church doors. “Having fun in there?”

Did she know? The place didn’t exactly advertise, but it wasn’t exactly a secret either. You scanned her face. She looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t quite place her. Had you seen her in the meetings before? “Oh, yeah, lots. You know. Fun therapy shit.” Supposedly, anyway. It was supposed to be some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous shit, but instead it was for the few survivors of an active fucking serial killer. Jigsaws Anonymous or whatever the fuck.

“Must be going well if you’re out here,” she said dryly, resting her chin on a propped-up fist.

You shrugged, taking another drag. “Well…” Did you really want to tell her about how Brandon’s words had hit just a little too close to home? How they’d made you feel too small, as if the sticks you’d used to prop up your fragile post-trap reconstruction of the world had suddenly snapped, and the weight of it all was now bearing down on you? She was a stranger waiting outside the church. She could’ve been some Jesus freak for all you knew.

Not that she really looked like one. Not with the sheer red shirt over a black bra and fishnet undershirt, or the combat boots, or the sheer exhaustion around her eyes.

She looked less like a Jesus freak and more like you did on the days you could bear to look in the mirror.

So you just shrugged again. “It can be a lot,” you said. “What about you? What’re you doing out here?” You hesitated. “There’re still seats open if you wanted to…”

“No thanks. I’m good.” She offered you a close-lipped smile. “I’ve heard enough of the sob-stories.”

Yeah. You could understand that.

She didn’t look like she was going anywhere, and you didn’t exactly have plans of your own. So you gestured to the stairs next to her. “Mind if I sit?”

“Be my guest.”

You sat to her right so the wind wouldn’t blow cigarette smoke into her face. The smooth grey stone steps were wide enough that it didn’t feel quite so awkward sitting in silence together. Even though you could feel her analyzing you as you took another puff.

You blew the smoke away and smirked dryly at the cigarette. “Think Jigsaw’s gonna put me in another deathtrap for smoking?” You ignored the tightening in your chest as you said the words. Ignored the tremor of unease. Surely it wouldn’t be enough. Surely lightning wouldn’t strike twice.

“He wouldn’t do that.” She said it with such simple certainty, as if it was an inarguable fact. Even still, you found yourself stubbing the cig out and searching for a trash can to toss it into. You didn’t want to just flick it into the grass. Maybe Jigsaw would get you for littering. Maybe he was really passionate about saving the planet.

Who needed to be God-fearing with the possibility of Jigsaw watching your every move?

You shook the thought off. Introduced yourself to the woman. You smiled awkwardly. “Um. I’d offer you my hand but my, uh–” Personal hell “–Trap involved a hand thing so. I’m not a big fan of handshakes these days.” It had taken a long time for the nerves to repair themselves in your hand. A long time and a shitton of agony and medication and physical therapy. You still hadn’t totally gotten rid of the tremor. Fine motorskills were still harder than before.

Before. That.

But the woman just gave a rueful, understanding sort-of smile. Funny how people smiled so much in the presence of trauma and pain. “Amanda. I still have trouble going to the dentist sometimes.”

Shit, that’s where you knew her from, wasn’t it? You’d heard of her, read about her before, seen a clip of her punching a journalist square in the nose when she tried to follow her. All the photos you’d seen had been such shit quality that you hadn’t recognized her immediately.

Amanda Young. The person who killed a man and rummaged around his guts to free herself from the machine hooked into her jaws. The first person to walk away from a Jigsaw trap. The first survivor. In a weird, fucked up way, it was almost like meeting a celebrity. A celebrity for the most depressingly specific thing possible.

You weren’t sure whether it would make things weird to bring that up. So you just nodded. “So. What’re you doing here then? Are you waiting for someone?”

“Mm no, not really.” Amanda scraped at the chipped black polish on her nails. “I just like to come here sometimes.”

You stared at her. Something about her reminded you of a deer, twitchy and ready to bolt at the slightest sign of danger. Or maybe not a deer. Deer looked like they’d snap in half if the wind blew too hard. Amanda…. did not. She was twitchy, but for some reason you got the feeling that she was just as likely to start kicking as she was to start running

Permanently caught between fight or flight.

You went with freeze, yourself. Or wallow, as Brandon had put it. Anger and embarrassment burned against your ribs.

“Hell of a place to visit.” You weren’t sure if you meant it as a light-hearted joke or a deadpan remark. The words came out somewhere in between.

“You’re one to talk.” She finally turned to you. It was the first time she’d actually met your eyes, you realized. “You actually believe all this bullshit?” she asked, gesturing to the church.

“Not really,” you admitted. “My therapist wanted me to go. Said it would help me to be around others who understand what I went through. That it would help me get closure or something. I didn’t want to. But he insisted.” You shrugged. He’d pestered you about it until you finally gave in a few weeks ago. He thought it would be good for you. Would help you heal. Really, it just made you want to fling yourself out of one of the church’s fancy stained-glass windows.

Amanda gave a derisive snort. You almost took offense until she said, “Half of the time these therapists don’t even know what they’re talking about. It’s a bunch of bullshit, too.” She propped her cheek on her fist again, giving you a side-long grimace. “People don’t change until they have to. Or until they’re forced to. A bunch of psychoanalyzing isn’t going to do anything.”

You…. strongly disagreed. But the slim scar peeking out from her sleeve kept you from saying that. “Bad experience with a therapist?” you asked, flicking your gaze away.

“It never really worked for me.”

“What did?” you asked cautiously.

She paused. Thought about it. Stared at you with an intensity that had you wondering what the hell was going on inside her head. Until eventually, “Jigsaw.”

You blinked. Stared. Tried to figure out how to respond to that.

She thought…. Jigsaw helped?

You didn’t want to judge. Fuck, that was exactly why you’d stormed out of the church. You were self-aware enough to realize that. Different things worked for different people, and different people responded to trauma in different ways, but….

The church doors squealed open. You both shot to your feet and turned around. Your fellow Jigsaw Anonymous members were leaving, the meeting over, spilling out from the doors with all the speed and excitement of molasses being poured out from a jar. You stepped to the side to let them come down the stairs. Amanda did the same, arm brushing yours, and you wrestled the urge to jerk away. You weren’t sure of the last time you’d actually touched someone, or the last time someone had touched you, aside from the gentle but coldly professional hands of doctors and emergency personnel. It was as startlingly foreign as it was familiar.

Amanda seemed completely unaware of your clashing emotions as her gaze locked onto something. You followed her stare to Brandon slowly making his way down the steps. A man with sandy-blond hair and a cane was with him, chatting, the both of them completely oblivious to either of you.

Did she know them? She was staring at them with such an undecipherable intensity and it was the only explanation you could think of. You glanced at the two men again, then back at Amanda. No… she wasn’t staring at them. She was staring at the blond man specifically.

It really wasn’t any of your business, but you couldn’t help but ask, “Do you two know each other?”

“Sorta,” was as much of a response as you got.

Once Brandon and the man reached the bottom of the ramp and went separate ways, Amanda turned back to you. It was just the two of you on the stairs now. And it was a little embarrassing how flustered you were just by her proximity. For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even know her.

Maybe your therapist was right. You did need to get out and be around people more. So you could remember how to fucking act normal again.

“Well.” Amanda bumped her arm against yours again. This time deliberately. You were pretty sure the facial expression you made was not a normal one. “See you round.”

Then she shoved her hands into the pockets of her cargo pants, hopped down the steps, and just. Walked away. You stared after her for longer than necessary.

She was impossible to get a read on. Weirdly confrontational, weirdly evasive, and weirdly magnetic anyway.

You kind of hoped you’d see her again.

She didn’t appear for the next few meetings you obligatorily dragged yourself to. It wasn’t until about a month later that you found her sitting out on the steps again. When you, again, had rushed out to clear your head when the room got too small.

“Hey stranger,” she said, tone somewhere close to teasing. It made you smile. Just a little.

“Hey,” you replied, approaching the stairs. And again, you gestured to the space beside her. “Mind if I join you?”

“Be my guest.”

And so you developed a bit of a routine. She appeared on the steps about once a month, for a reason she never shared and that you never really minded. You would sit on the stairs with her, and the two of you would shoot the breeze. It was a comfortable, casual companionship born from a common factor and convenience. It was never anything very deep. Neither of you were there for therapy, not really. You kept it light, casual. That was the point, wasn’t it?

At least until one day when Amanda was standing by the stairs before the meeting had even started. You didn’t bother to hide your surprise as you approached her and exchanged your usual heys.

“You coming in today?” you asked.

“No. I thought we could head somewhere else.” She tilted her head at you. There was a playfulness to her expression, her smile. A playfulness that made you both a little bit cautious and a little bit excited. “Somewhere a little more fun. Unless you want to stay here. For therapy.” She pointedly lifted her eyebrows at you as she said therapy.

You glanced at the church doors behind her. Really, talking to her about anything but the fact that you were both Jigsaw survivors had done a lot more for you than going to these stupid fucking meetings had.

“Only if you promise not to put me in a death game for smoking,” you joked. Or tried to, at least. It really wasn’t that funny. You winced at yourself. But Amanda, to her credit, just linked her arm through yours. You almost preened at the friendly touch.

“Deal,” she said.

She ended up taking you to a bar. A gay bar, more specifically. You were a bit surprised she’d clocked you so easily but never said a word – but then again, neither had you about her. So you supposed you couldn’t be too surprised.

From there, your casual companionship escalated into something much more like a genuine friendship. You got to know each other properly. You talked about your personal lives and hobbies and interests. You even talked a little bit about Jigsaw, and everything after that. You told her how you’d been struggling with insomnia and how you’d lost your job when you stopped showing up. Because of, y’know, being stuck in a deathtrap. And being too terrified to set foot outside your door for a while after. You told her about the new job you’d gotten and struggled to adjust to. And you told her about your hands.

Nails through the palms Jesus-style. Because according to the hoarse voice on the tape that now haunted your nightmares – “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”. She’d winced as you told her the story one evening. You’d winced as you’d recollected it. The pain shooting through your fingertips, up your arms, into your very fucking bones. The squelch of blood and muscle, the way you hadn’t been able to stop from screaming or the tears from spilling as you twisted and ripped your hands free of the metal spikes.

It was a miracle they didn’t introduced any infections into your bloodstream, the doctors had told you. A miracle.

You told Amanda how your hands still shook, were still a bit weak. How some days they were worse and some days they were better. And how fine motor skills had become hard now, whereas before you’d taken them for granted. God, had you taken them for granted. You’d been able to write your name, use a knife and fork, all that shit, so damn easily.

It had taken a lot of getting used to.

Amanda has just listened and nodded her head. Understanding. Not offering the grating sympathy people so often flung your way, all the while looking uncomfortably unsure of what to do with your presence and your hands and your experience and your trauma. But Amanda understood. Because of course she did. She knew what you’d been through and where you were coming from.

And she’d even smiled a bit mischievously, glancing down at your hands on the bar counter, and said, “Well, if you ever need help with anything, I’m pretty good with my hands. I could always lend a finger or two.”

Maybe it was the little smirk on her face, the glint in her eye when she said it. Maybe it was the loneliness and then the sudden friendship. Or maybe you’d just been a little too buzzed, but her words had remained lodged in your mind as you tried to go to sleep that night.

Amanda had shared things about herself, too, in the time you’d spent together. It had taken a little longer for her to open up – she was a bit slower, a bit more cautious. She seemed a lot more eager to listen than to do the talking. And you couldn’t fault her for that. But eventually, you learned that she worked as a mechanic, knew a lot about fixing and building machines and shit like that. She had a pet guinea pig that she’d acquired entirely by accident. His name was Pigeon. Her favorite color was red, her favorite bands were Nine Inch Nails and Hole, and her favorite movie was The Princess Bride. Her dad was a piece of shit she hadn’t seen in over a decade, and her relationship with her mom was strained at best. She was an only child.

You’d also learned more about her Jigsaw trap. How she’d become a drug addict in prison, how she’d woken up in a Jigsaw trap for it. How the little puppet with swirls on its cheeks had rolled out of the darkness on a tricycle and told her that she’d survived. And how she’d ended up in a trap a second time, a hellish prison of a house with several other people, most of whom had died.

The news had nearly brought your drink back into your throat. Lighting did strike twice after all. He did pick the same victims more than once.

God, maybe you really did need to quit smoking.

Amanda had placed her hand on your arm. Touch gentle but grounding all the same. And she’d assured you that that wouldn’t happen to you, Jigsaw wouldn’t choose you again. He had no reason to. She said it so confidently, and you so desperately wanted to believe her. That you wouldn’t be taken a second time. Or that she wouldn’t be taken a third. Not that she seemed too concerned about it.

That was the strange thing about her. When she told you about what had happened, she stared down at the counter. Her hands shook a little bit. The memory terrified her.

And yet…. she had this fixation on the idea that Jigsaw had helped her. The trap had gotten her off drugs. It had put her on a completely different path in life. Rather than dying from a drug overdose, she’d gotten clean. He saved me, she’d said, eyes wide and earnest and afraid.

You’d fought against the urge to argue that, to say No, he didn’t save you, he almost killed you. The idea of Jigsaw possibly helping – all while you struggled to sleep and were plagued by nightmares as you did, while you struggled to make your handwriting legible, while you fought the urge to bolt back home as soon as the sun started lowering in the sky? The idea felt like swallowing glass.

Had Jigsaw ever made anyone do that?

But you didn’t say any of that to her. People dealt with trauma in different ways. You supposed this was just her way of dealing with it. And it wasn’t really hurting anyone, so who were you to judge?

It certainly didn’t stop you from going to the bar with her regularly. It didn’t stop you from laughing with her, from getting close to her both emotionally and physically till the edge of your seats were almost touching and your arms were practically interlinked.

It didn’t stop the spark of warmth in your chest when she offered a genuine smile. Or the electric feeling that shot through your veins when she traced her fingers over your knuckles one night, after the conversation had lulled and your drinks had gone lukewarm.

“I wanna try something,” she said, voice soft enough that you would’ve missed it had you not been sitting so close your thighs were pressed together.

Eye contact right now would’ve been like staring into the sun. So instead, you stared at her hand on top of yours. Her knuckles were scratched up as if she’d gotten into a fight. “Sure,” you said slowly. “What did you have in mind?”

Amanda turned to you. You cautiously met her gaze. Christ, it really was like looking at the sun. Warm and beautiful but intense. Burningly intense.

Confusion turned to shock as Amanda hooked two fingers into the neck of your shirt and tugged you closer till her lips were hitting yours. You must’ve made a noise of surprise, because she drew away almost immediately. It was all you could do not to chase her and ask why did you stop? A small crease appeared between her eyebrows and she opened her mouth. And God for a second you thought she was going to apologize, when in fact she really didn’t need to because holy shit.

“Oh thank fuck,” you blurted. “You were flirting with me.”

Concern turned to surprise. Then Amanda laughed, the sound pure relief. “Yeah, I was. Did it take you that long to figure it out?” she teased.

“Uh.” Your face warmed. “Maybe.”

She grinned, then grabbed you by the shirt and kissed you again. Gentle but insistent. Her other hand curled around your nape. You didn’t know what the hell to do with your own hands until one curled around her back and the other ended up braced against the bar counter.

The bar counter. Right. You were very much in public. Sure, it was a queer bar, but it was still public.

So you reluctantly pulled away. Amanda looked confused for a moment before you said, “Hey, maybe we should… do this somewhere else?”

She blinked at you. Then, wordlessly, she wrapped a hand around your wrist and pulled you off your seat. She dragged you past the other patrons and tables – it was a quieter night, so you didn’t have to fight through a sea of people – and pushed through one of the bathroom doors, yanking you in with her and locking the door behind you.

“There,” she said. There was a look to her eyes, a look that made your heart stumble and your entire body go warm. “We’re somewhere else.”

This time when she kissed you, you let her fully take the lead. You slid your arms around her and melted into the kiss, sighing against her. It just made her more eager. She prodded at your lips with her tongue, slipped inside with a sweet little moan that had your heart racing. Sent your head spinning. You backed up till you hit a wall, dragging Amanda with because fuck you weren’t breaking this kiss. Not as she was getting to know you with her teeth and her tongue. She tasted like alcohol and peaches, smelled of loam and sweat and faintly of men’s store-brand bodywash. It was heady, intoxicating. Addicting.

Her hands slipped under your shirt. You shuddered at the exposure to the overly air-conditioned bathroom. Shuddered harder at her warm touch roving across your skin, the slight drag of fingernails over your stomach. Amanda broke the kiss with a wet smack as your muscles tensed underneath her.

“You’re so cute,” she teased. She dragged her fingernails over your skin again with just a little more pressure. You arced into her touch. Fuck. Fuck.

You wished you could come up with some kind of response. Something to convey just how much you were aching for her, both emotionally and physically. How badly and how deeply these emotions were running through you. But words were currently beyond your grasp.

Amanda leaned in and nibbled at your neck as her fingers slid past your waistband and teased the edge of your underwear. You clamped your teeth down on your bottom lip. Heat swirled through your veins, in your stomach, at the base of your spine. You moved your hips a little, just a little, to urge her on. Nails dug into the soft flesh there. A whimper escaped.

“Mandyyyyyyy.”

“Yeahhhhhhh?” She was all mischief and smugness as she looked back up at you. It just made you more desperate.

“Mandy. Please?” You gave her your best pleading look.

“You’re so impatient.” She said the words lightly, playfully. But she must’ve been impatient too, because she was pushing your underwear down. When her fingers brushed against your clit, you gasped and dropped your head back against the wall. Fuck, God, yes, right there –

“You sure you only just figured out I was flirting with you? You seem pretty fucking wet already.” She punctuated her words with a slide of her fingers against you. Because yeah, you were fucking wet. It would’ve been a little humiliating if you weren’t so achingly desperate for her touch.

“Yeah, well.” You drew in an unsteady breath as she circled your clit. A teasing touch that wasn’t quite enough. Fuck, it was impossible to form a coherent thought. “You’re just…. really fucking hot.”

It was hardly eloquent. But her breath puffed against your neck in a laugh. And you figured it would do for now.

She kissed the hollow of your throat, firmly rubbed her thumb against your clit. You practically bucked against her. Her other hand hooked under one of your thighs and lifted, and you threw your leg around her waist. Let out a moan at how it changed the sensation. “Yeah, like that,” Amanda breathed. “Just like that.” She said it as if you were touching her, as if she wasn’t the one doing all the work, wasn’t the one making you writhe and whimper and leak over her precise fingers.

Christ, you hadn’t felt this good in a while.

The pace was languorous, exploratory, testing what made you shiver and dig your nails into her shoulders and gasp for breath. As if she was intent on taking you apart and finding out exactly what got you going – a machine to figure out and put back together. Slowly, slowly, but in a way you savored, you felt the tension inside of you building up and coiling tight like a spring. You were quivering. Your clothes clung to your sweat-sheened skin. The music spilling into the bathroom from the bar wasn’t quite enough to cover the ragged breathing and wet, rhythmic noises, and it just made the whole thing feel even dirtier. Especially with how Amanda was panting against you, as if she was getting off just from you getting off and fuck it made you clench.

When she picked up the pace, you weren’t able to stop the gasps and moans that spilled out of you, the way you panted and pleaded her name. The sound of her fingers squelching against you had you burning. And when your release hit you cried out, clenching, shaking, clinging to Amanda’s shoulders and digging your nails in as you rode out the high. She didn’t stop, didn’t relieve the pressure against your clit. White hot pleasure burned through your body till tears pricked at your eyes. Distantly, she said something. Soft, sweet words that didn’t quite reach your ears as they rang from the intensity of your orgasm.

She only stopped when you went limp against her. Only pulled away from the mess you’d made – that she’d made too, really – to wrap her arms around your hips and kiss you, deep and slow, as if trying to commit you to memory. You lazily brushed your tongue against hers. Your muscles felt like taffy, worn out in the best way.

“You were right,” you said when you parted. “You really are good with your hands.”

Amanda grinned so widely and genuinely that you couldn’t stop yourself from capturing her lips again. Fuck. You might’ve been a little bit in love. Or maybe that was the post-sex endorphins talking. You weren’t sure. You didn’t particularly care either way.

“I think I owe you an orgasm,” you said.

Amanda brushed her nose against yours. For the first time since you’d met her, she actually seemed truly, fully relaxed. As if she’d properly lowered her guard just now, just in this moment, just for you. “Maybe next date.” The words sent a flutter through your chest. Next date. There’d be a next date. “But first,” she said, moving away to grab some paper towels, “we gotta get you cleaned up.”

[riacte]

So like, are we gonna talk about how there is a problem in this fandom about some creators, mostly female ccs, being critized by fans whenever they "overshadow" the more famous hermits? No shade to any of the hermits, they are wonderful and i am sure this is the last thing they wanted to happen, but i am starting to notice a pattern. And it s always with the same excuses! "They did not play by the rules" "Someone else did the work for them" "It was boring and anticlimatic". And although I can think of some cases of this happening to male ccs (well, one case, and it was to a non-hermit), women have to deal with a looot of shit every time they score a victory, and it s terrible that this is just a routine at this point. And like where do the critics come from? Are these ccs supposed to lose in purpose and act as secondary characters to those who have more views or subs? I just don t understand

Oh yeah there's definitely a misogyny / popularity problem. It's always been around, got a bit better, and now post-Covid, it's getting worse.

Women can do everything and anything and they'll be criticised by some assholes. If False was proactive and killed every reaper who came near her? She would be "mean" and "a bully". If False kept her distance? She would be "barely online" and "not deserve a win". If False was on all the time, "the trappers wouldn't have time to lay traps". If False wasn't on because of work purposes (the meeting) or to EAT (because women are human beings who LIVE), "she wouldn't have a chance to die". I found it sad to see False explain herself and justify her jokes and actions. AND that is wholly dismissive of any irl things that may or may not have been going on.

Also... the popularity gap is getting worse. Some hermits have stagnating or even negative growth in terms of viewership and subs. It's unfortunate because everyone is free to watch who they want, work with who they want, everyone has limited time and attention span, so there's no real solution. Which is why I'm all for spreading propaganda. And I feel like my mains False and Ren are in the middle in terms of this— not the most popular, not the least either, so they kind of get left out when it comes to "underrated hermits" discussions. Idk. I know this has been a problem since the birth of Hermitblr and I know from the pov of a fan I do have it much, much better than some other fans who main other people. My main duo interact alllllllll the damn time. And I know I am guilty of sticking very closely to my main povs.

We have to drown out the trolls. Be vocal about what we love. I love seeing all the nice comments on vids. <3

[gayerthanevertbh]

tall child | i want you pt. 6

natasha romanoff masterlist | series masterlist | navigation

pairings: older!natasha romanoff x young!fem reader

summary: your father doesn’t know it yet, but you’re in love with his best friend. and what makes it better is that you’re sure enough that she feels the same way. the sad part is, neither of you can word out your love for each other properly.

warnings: slight argument, heavily detailed smut, g!p natasha, dom!natasha & sub!reader, dirty talking, pet names, slight fluff, and angst - MINORS DNI.

notes: what you ask, you shall receive! also listen to “i want you” at the end of the chapter, trust me it’s worth it lol x 

I had anticipated the party at Felicia's house before I arrived. Only a few people were present; by "few people" I meant at least 20 people gathered around the house. Most of them were outside, swimming by the pool. The others were by the kitchen, where a single man serving them drinks appeared to be my dad's age. While watching MJ try her best to flirt with Felicia, who showed no interest, I was in the pool area with my feet in the water. Why would you go after someone who has no interest in you? I don’t understand the concept of that. You’re just wasting your time, leave before you get hurt.

I wasn’t an experience alcoholic drinker, I barely even drank half of the beverages that were served in the kitchen. Maybe it's because my tolerance for alcohol isn’t so great – I remember myself getting drunk for the first time and being woken up by my father laughing fondly at me. Oh, Y/n, he would say with a sigh. You’ve always been such a little girl. And maybe I was; which made me feel a little uncomfortable being here.

Yet I still drank half of the vodka that was in my glass.

I considered calling Natasha and asking her to drive me home, but she mentioned that she was going to play poker at an underrated bar in town. I was intrigued at first. Why would you play poker this late in the evening? Are you seeing someone else? Is some girl touching your crotch now since I'm not good at it? To be fair, though, I was also outside, and if I had those thoughts, I'd come off as hypocritical. I wonder what she thinks of me and what her thoughts may be when it comes to me. Did she like the way we kissed? How our hands touch under the dining table with my father around? I could still taste the saliva from her mouth, and it was sweet like a grape. Having these naughty thoughts tingles down my spine, it wouldn’t be the best idea to do it here out and open.

“Y/n.”

As I slowly turned around, I saw Bucky standing there with his yellow shirt open to reveal his bare chest. Before taking a sip, I grinned at him a little, hoping he wouldn't notice how I was cringing at the taste.

When I did not respond to him, he sat down next to me and removed one stick of tobacco from his shirt's small pocket. He gave me another look in the hopes that I would return at least one, but I did not. He sighed.

“How are you?”

I shrugged. “Doing okay I guess,” I finished my glass and felt myself wincing. I shouldn’t even be drinking this kind of alcohol, it makes me feel sick. “How about you?”

“Doing great now since you’re talking to me.”

“Are we supposed to be on speaking terms?”

“Y/n–”

“I know what you did the other day,” I told him, showing him that I’m not into small talk. He pursed his lips together and hung his head low. “You tried ruining us both, I thought you were my best friend?”

“My feelings for you don’t go away for a day,” he explained. “You expect me to be fine when she looks at you the way I look at you? No, of course not. You picked someone so old when you could have me to spend the rest of your life with. I think she’s using you only for pleasure, Y/n.”

“How do you even know that?” I couldn’t help but scoff under my breath, turning away from his face as I could see an agonizing pain from him – which I cannot endure. But when he said that Natasha might be using me, somehow that made me think. What if she was? What if I’m just some girl that she’ll take advantage of, and that I’m nothing special? That stung my heart, and I could feel my knees weaken from his statement.

Are you using me?

“You don’t think I hear you having sex with her in your room?” Bucky scoots closer to me, his lips trembling with anger or despair. “You don’t think that I haven’t seen her touching you by the waist? Or sometimes by your fucking ass? She’s using you!”

“Keep your voice down–”

“I would never use you like that,” he sighs, pinching his nose bridge. “I would never touch you the way she touches you, I don’t even think you like the way she does it.”

“But that’s none of your business!” I hissed at him, as I furrowed my eyebrows. Our conversation was getting intense, and I had this feeling to walk out. But I couldn’t. We both looked at our surroundings, and no one suspected us of having a short argument. Perhaps we weren’t so loud after all, since no one batted an eye. I kept our distance again and whispered to him, “I love her, and she loves me. She wouldn’t do something like that, I know her better than you do.”

He shrugged his shoulders and lit his cigarette before throwing it across the bushes. "Maybe you know her, but something in her eyes that screams evil," he continued. He made a poor choice by saying that. "Y/n, I love you. I doubt I'll ever love anyone else the way I love you. I will respect whatever relationship you have with her since I am still your best friend. Just... don't harm yourself. When it comes to her, be cautious.”

I wanted to stand up for her and convince him that Natasha wasn't like that. Whether or not we had sexual relations, she loved me unconditionally. She showed me numerous displays of affection that didn't require her to physically touch me, and they led to me falling in love with her. She is not at all what he has described her to be.

A moment of unbearable silence abrupt us both.

I added softly, entirely off-subject, "My mother has never reconciled with my father ever since they had a divorce,” I didn't need those sad expressions he gave me as he stared into my eyes. "And I've loathed my mother ever since. She was nothing but emotionally abusive towards me and doesn't have anything pleasant to say when it comes to my being. Natasha has been looking after me more than my mother has since I've been here. She cares about me and is always there. And when I needed her, where was she? Gone. She was there for me physically, but not emotionally. Simply put, Buck. But Natasha? She spares me the kind of suffering I've experienced."

Nothing else was said by him after that. Instead, he gave me a quick nod before getting up and heading off. I didn't chase him down or even shout his name. I simply sat there with my mouth open, thinking that if I had ever loved this boy, I never would have fallen in love with Natasha. Yet no matter how little of the world Natasha and I were a part of, I know I'll come back to her. There was nothing I could say to change the fact that we were both intended to be together.

I soon found myself back at Felicia's home. Bucky didn't bother to offer to drive me home, so MJ said she would. I offered to walk home, but she refused and grabbed her keys by the handle before leaving with me. While we were in the car, I thought heavily about what happened with Bucky a while ago. Although the drive was quiet, it wasn't uncomfortable. I listened to the music she liked on the radio and took in the nighttime sky as I imagined Natasha. For all of us, this summer was perfect. Maisy, our second maid, was chopping off leaves from our garden as my father was reading an ancient book that came from my grandfather. Natasha, meanwhile, simply sits next to him while sporting a nice expression and smoking a cigarette almost as an aesthetic. The people that were a part of my life this summer, whom I utterly cherish, are what I have enjoyed the most.

Especially that woman, that sane woman.

“Is he okay?” she asked, breaking our silence. “And you don’t seem drunk.”

“I could say the same with you.” I chuckled in response, causing her to laugh quietly as well.

“You and him have been always fighting, I don’t get it,” she said while turning her steering wheel. “Like, what are you two fighting about? Just tell me you’re gay, Y/n. Maybe then he’ll leave you alone.”

Despite being a closeted bisexual, MJ made me feel protected. Perhaps I should have told her that I could fall deeply in love with a woman, but it didn't feel appropriate to say it now, especially since we were both drunk. Yet my mouth spoke differently.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll tell him that.”

She smiled, shaking my left shoulder gently.

“I’m sure he won’t mind.”

If she only knew that I was in love with a 38-year-old woman, then she would react in a different way.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know he won’t.” that was the biggest lie that I’ve ever said.

I entered my room, tossed my tote bag on the floor, and flopped onto my bed to smell the fresh sheets Maisy had just changed. Tomorrow might be a better day for me, maybe my father would make something nice for breakfast, or fish at the sea with Natasha and the rest of them since that's something that we enjoyed doing. MJ might invite me over to do something fun, I don't know. My mind was clouded with exhaustion.

As I began to breathe slowly, I heard the door being closed. Too tired to turn, I whispered: “Who is it?”

“Hi, detka,” the woman that I’d been thinking about not nearly 15 minutes ago was in my room, and it made my night entirely better because she was here. I turned my head slowly and smiled at her before she got into bed with me and gave me a small kiss on the head. “I’ve missed you today.”

“Missed you too, Tasha.” I sat up with a groggy look and hugged her tight, smelling her scent. Did she drink tonight? I thought to myself. Before I could even ask, Natasha lifts up my chin and looks down at me with the most sultry eyes I’ve ever seen. “Tasha? Are you okay?”

She sighs under her breath and pushes me back down onto the bed gently, kissing my mouth with hunger as she does so. “Yeah,” she murmured while fondling my breasts over my shirt. “I just… I need you tonight.”

“What’s going on? Did something happen tonight?”

She simply shakes her head as she keeps her tongue slithering inside of my mouth. Our kiss was so intensely needy and desperate that I could hardly even comprehend it. I gently pushed away from her chest as I worriedly eyed her, but when she looked at me with those hooded eyes, I knew she wanted to fuck me right then.

“Tash, are you sure about this? You look–”

She pleaded with me imploringly, "Please," tucking her hand into my shirt and squeezing my left breast. I whimpered in return. “I'm begging you to let me make love to you tonight… please.”

How was I going to refuse her? Of course, I also desired to have sex with her. I cupped both of her cheeks and nodded, kissing her briefly before her hands assaulted my naked breasts again. As she continues to kiss my neck with her tongue flat against my skin, I notice that her eyes are closed. I shivered, not because I didn't want the kiss, but rather because the intensity of the experience made me want her to take me right there. But as soon as she lowered her sweatpants and bounced her cock in the air, my needs were satisfied.

“You want me, baby?” her voice was huskier this time, and I could feel myself getting wet from it. She swiftly removes my shorts, along with my underwear, and spreads my wet folds apart. “You want me to fuck you now? Oh, I’ve been wanting to be inside you for days…”

We didn’t have sex for the past week since everyone was at our house. But since my father was asleep and it was just the two of us, she immediately took this opportunity to fuck me in my bed – alone in the dark of my cold room. As my eyes were shut tight, I felt her hand gripping my jaw gently – asking silently to open them again.

“Look at me when I fuck you,” she demands, but not to the point that her voice is scary. I nodded in reply, my breath trembling as she slowly pumps her dick. “You know that I love you, right?”

“O-Of course,” I replied, biting my lower lip as she dragged the tip of her cock through my folds in an up-and-down motion, teasing me with that sinister grin. “Oh, god–Natasha–”

“Shh,” her thumb presses against my lips as she spits on her other hand, spreading it along with her penis while her eyes were looking down at me. My god, I think I’ve never seen this version of her before. “It’s okay, ‘m here. Daddy won’t hurt you, I just need to be inside of you right now…”

Before I could even utter a word, she slowly slipped her cock inside of me as we both groaned about how good it felt to experience this kind of sex once more. She moans into my neck, whispering: “Fuck, you’re still so tight. I could barely move inside of you, oh god…”

“Tasha,” I murmured into her ear as my nails scratched her back, her shirt still on. “You’re so big!”

“Shhh,” her lips met with mine once more as she pulled out slowly, then thrusting back in with much force this time. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me. Never notice how wet you are for me, you wanted this too… don’t you?”

I nodded, whispering with a moan, “Yes! Yes, you feel so good inside of me–Oh god, go faster!”

We could only hear my bed squeaking and quietly banging against the wall as she rocked her hips against my skin. Since we typically make a lot of noise when having sex, I was surprised by how quiet we were this time. I held her tight in my arms as she thrust into me at a faster pace, her thrusting was more different. It felt like she was in a hurry, or that she needed to release that quickly. So I lifted up her head and asked, “Take it slow, Tash. We have the time in the world.”

“Can’t,” she replied back with a whimper. “I just–Fuck, just need you right now sweet girl.”

She clung to me while repeatedly pulling her cock out of me as she observed the connection between our sexes. Natasha had a thing for watching us fucked, it was as if it was her favorite thing in the world – and I could be right. The room started to fill with the sound of our skin, and the moisture started to warm up. Once more, our lips met, and I felt her tongue brush up against mine. My body began to feel like it was heating up like a kettle. Natasha pushed thrust after thrust into me, as if I were a balloon about to burst.

Her hands were now on my hips, forcefully gripping my skin, and huffed each time her cock was hitting my spot. I felt overwhelmed by this feeling, and there was nothing I could do but hold her close and let it all happen.

“I love you,” she whimpered with a deeper voice, snapping her hips back and forth against my mind as I felt her entire length inside of me, making me whine in desperation. “I love you so much, detka. I don’t want a-anything else but you, o-only you…”

Each time she thrusts into me hard, I could hear the squelching sound coming from our joined sexes. Her gaze on me was heavy, as if she was hungry for more and I couldn’t help but give her the same look, since I felt the same way that she did. A low hum escaped from her mouth when I clenched around her dick, her hips stuttering for a bit.

“I love you too,” I whispered breathlessly. “I’ll always love you.”

Natasha's eyes were closed and she thrusts into me at a much faster pace, her hips rising. As she pursued her orgasm, she grabbed the sheet next to my head, her groans growing louder and faster. “Just like that,” she cried. “Keep taking it for me, j-just like that… Oh god!”

The bed was starting to creak loudly, and I patted her upper arm to keep ourselves quiet. She sees my hand and decides to give me a strong kiss instead, though it was sloppier than usual. “This pussy belongs to me,” Natasha panted on my lips. “All mine, okay? Not Bucky’s, mine.”

“Yours!” I moaned quietly, biting my lip hard that I could feel the coil taste on my tongue. “J-Just yours, Oh god–please!”

She stutters her hips and says, "I'm here," as she buries her head in my neck and forces her cock firmly back inside of me – her balls tighten with orgasm. “Fuck, I’m here. Just stay like that, yeah…”

I came around her cock, crying out with my eyes closed tightly. She touches my cheek with her hand and kisses the corner of my mouth, flopping herself on top of me. Our chest heaved while she lazily thrusts her cock inside of me, eventually pulling out with a sloshing sound. I looked down and saw her dick twitching, and I smiled fondly at it.

Natasha hugged me that night and slept next to me after our passionate encounter. She still had her head buried in my neck, and her leg was wrapped around my waist. Looking up at the ceiling, I held her in my arms and realized that everything we did was driven by an insatiable need for one another. I noticed her mouth was slightly gaping when I looked to my side. It made me want to reach out and touch it. She wasn't a restless sleeper, so I refrained from doing so.

“I love you,” I whispered to her slumbered self, smiling blissfully. “I love you, and I’m sure that I’m all yours until the end.”

The house was once again crowded, and this time I was irritated. My father kept inviting his colleagues, and as much as I wanted him to be happy, I also felt lonely with him because I haven't spent enough time with him since Natasha entered the scene. As I strolled down our house's hallway, I noticed Maisy making Natasha's bed. This made me concerned; it was as if she had departed without saying goodbye. "Where's Natasha?" I said as I walked past her room.

“Went out for a walk,” Maisy replied tossing her dirty sheets into the basket. “She was trying to find you a while ago, but you were still asleep.”

I let out a huff. “Oh,” I sat on the foot of her bed and placed my hand against the mattress. “When will she come back?”

“She mentioned around late noon, since she looked like she was in a rush,” she rubs the sweat off her forehead, and I decided to help her with the laundry basket – but she refused me to do so. I still don’t understand why she treats me like a kid still. “No, don’t do that! Your father will be angry if he sees you helping me.”

“But you’ve been with us ever since I was a baby.”

“And you'll always be a baby in my eyes," Maisy laughed, leaving me alone in the room. I stood up and quietly shut the door, hearing it click. I was finally alone in her room, with no one to bother me. I clung to myself on her naked mattress, desperate for her to return and kiss me again. Our sex a few weeks ago wasn't enough for me; I needed more of her like a hungry little bitch. But instead, I was all alone – just like any other summer back at home.

A few moments passed, and I suddenly felt nauseous. So I went to the kitchen to grab myself a tab of paracetamol and drank it with water, then went back to my room and rested. But by the end of the day, I still felt even more sick than usual. I was surprised that I still had more energy in me as I walked to Natasha’s door and knocked. And when she opened it, she gave me a huge smile on her face.

“Hey,” she greeted, brushing her short hair away from her forehead. “Maisy told me that you were feeling sick all day, are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” I murmured, holding my stomach together with my arms. “Just feel like I want to vomit.”

“Sweetheart, do you want me to call your dad?” she worriedly placed her hands on my shoulder as she took me back to my room, and I shook my head in reply. “Are you on your period right now?”

“I think so,” even though I haven’t checked my underwear today, I have a feeling that my period has started. “It’s okay, Tash. I can take care of myself from here.”

She merely lets out a small sigh before gently kissing my forehead and enfolding me in a cozy hug. She whispered "I love you." into my ear like a baby in a swaddle. It was pleasant to hear her utter those three little sentences once more. She looks down at me while stroking the back of my hair while having those brilliant green eyes. "Are you certain you'll look after yourself? I have to spend tonight with your father because of work and other stuff."

“I’ll be okay, I promise.”

That evening, she left with my father, leaving me once more by myself in my bedroom. After I realized there wasn't any blood on my underwear, I made the decision to use the restroom and urinate. Strange, I observed. I was supposed to have my period this morning.

I then remembered my experience with Natasha from a few weeks earlier, and I realized I had sex with her without using any form of contraception. I gazed in the mirror, terrified, but decided to remain cool because I didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Fortunately, there was a pregnancy test in the drawers since my father had added them in case of emergency and took the test.

Nine minutes later, I checked the test and it was revealed positive.

Positive.

My eyes widened, and I suddenly felt more sick than ever. I was pregnant, with Natasha’s baby.

With her baby, I’m having a child with her.

I sat on the floor, the test clenched on my fingers, my mind racing with plans to tell her about it. Would she be upset with me because I was careless? Will she accept that I won't be able to have this baby right now? I wailed quietly into the corner, feeling my world darken with horror.

how’s everything doing?

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