#i'm struggling with them a lot atm

[jabeur]

im still kinda new to tennisblr and kind of intimidated by you but I think you're cool as fuck. your username slaps and everything you post is always on point. anyway, have a good night!

aw anon you're so kind! i understand being intimidated at first, it's the same for me usually, but just letting you know if you ever want to shoot me an ask, a dm, reply to my posts, tag me, anything, i really am totally chill with it. i am so not cool, like have you seen me have 1.5 breakdowns a day gjfvj that's nice of you to say tho but yeah, i'm chiller than i seem i guess and i'd like you to feel welcome here and not intimidated <3 have a good day or night!

[ohmeadows]

would you, in the future, perhaps feel like writing an Emiko fic? Just want to know if it’s a possibility…..👀

i did write one once, it also fell victim to me deleting it. at this very moment, i'd say no, but i would also have said no about beiguang and any jingliu ship a few months ago. so! never say never. i would have to ask my gf about ideas for it tho, as she's my fox girl and fox muse 😌

[reploidbuddy]

Also why did my story's images disappear on ao3 what

[nothorses]

You've made a lot of really great posts about transmasc experiences and struggles, and they really resonate with me! So I guess I want to in complete earnest ask: why the push for 'transandrophobia' when anti-transmasculinity as a term has been around for longer and faces little friction by comparison? I don't really *dislike* transandrophobia, but its meaning gets muddied everywhere from different directions, while ATM is pretty direct and succinct I feel. It's very clear that it's about TRANSmasculine oppression. I'm not against having a dedicated term at all, but the content of our struggles gets lost in the weeds of attaching kind of understandably divisive terms like misandry and androphobia in an attempt to mirror a phenomenon very specifically about misogyny; it seems more trouble than it's worth considering ATM is right there

I'll be honest, this ask is confusing to me for a few reasons.

When I started talking about transandrophobia around the summer of 2020, the conversations I was encountering were very much, like, a handful of people across Twitter and Tumblr (literally, a handfull!). I picked up "transandrophobia" because it was one of two words I saw in use, and the other- "transmisandry"- felt much less clear and much more contentious. It seemed super obvious to me that people would draw a line from "men's rights activists" trying to push this idea that "misandry", as a systemic oppression of men by women, to "transmisandry", and assume some ill intent where there was none. It's confusing!

"Transandrophobia" was the better of two options being floated at the time, at least in any conversation I saw. "Anti-transmasculinity" was not really a term I'd been made aware of, if anyone at all was talking about it at the time.

I have seen people pick up "anti-transmasculinity" more recently (maybe in the last year?), and this is definitely the first I've seen someone shorten it to "ATM". The people I've seen use that term have been mostly people who seem really new to the conversation, and the vibe I've gotten has been very, like, "we're the Good Transmascs, our word isn't dirty and gross like those other Bad Transmascs everyone hates. you'll listen to us now that our word is Good and Pure, right?"

Which is like... kind of frustrating, and kind of sad, honestly. I think these people honestly believe that if they just choose the right word, all the people who've been dragging me and every other transmasc talking about these issues through the mud for the last 4 years or so will really just stop & listen. If they can just say it right, these people- who have been relentlessly harassing and spreading lies about every single transmasc who came before them for years now- will care what they have to say, and will be willing to engage with them in earnest, compassionate dialogue.

If you just find the right word, all of these people will care about your hurt, your pain, and the suffering of your community.

It kind of breaks my heart. It's an incredibly hopeful, kind, loving way to view the world. It's compassion and patience and forgiveness that these folks are not being given, but that they so badly want to offer to others.

And at the same time, it sucks to be the Bad Transmasc. It sucks to have fought so hard for so long, and for the people I've been fighting for all this time to turn around and say, "you're gross, and dirty, and evil, and everything you've done is a mistake." It sucks to see the people I've been fighting for agree with the people I've been fighting against, and shove me under the bus in an effort to appeal to the people running me over with it. Knowing that the bus is going to aim for them once it's done with me just makes it sadder, yknow?

@saint-speaks wasn't the first person to ever speak the word "transandrophobia", but he is the one who coined and popularized it in its current form. And then he was dragged through the mud so hard and so brutally that some people think I coined it, just because when I defended him (too little and too late, imo) I withstood the mud-dragging better than he did (and gee, I wonder white.)

And now people take for granted that everything everyone said about hymn to justify that frankly fucking evil harassment campaign was true, actually, and we should abandon the word he coined and find one with purer origins.

If you honestly think "anti-transmasculinity" is just a more practical word, that's fine. I don't care what word we use. But they're going to cover it in mud, too. They're going to cover every one of you in mud.

Will you keep fighting for "ATM" once they make it the new dirty, gross, bad, evil word? Will you keep fighting when they drag you and everyone else through the mud for using it? Or will you agree with them, make up a new word, and never look back?

Please don't let us drown in the mud. We've been fighting for you, and we want to fight with you. Please.

[lesbxdyke]

Decided to steal my own tags from This Post because I didn't want to detract from the very good points being made about wheelchair accessibility in the art

So I'm disabled. And I often have to use crutches as a mobility aid. Sometimes one, sometimes two. And even with that, I still sometimes can't get around.

There have been numerable occasions in my life where something has been marked as 'accessible' that is not accessible to me, because it was made with ONLY wheelchair users in mind.

And like I said in my tags, it's a genuinely great thing that things are now being made with wheelchair users in mind! I am genuinely heartened and happy that wheelchairs users are being recognised in public spaces and accommodated for!

But they are not the be all and end all of physically disabled people.

I need the extra space of a disabled bathroom. Especially as another physical disability of mine causes me to often require space to change underwear or clothing.

However, if I'm having a bad pain day, I can't wash my hands. Because the only sink is at the height for a wheelchair user. So my options are to eschew hygiene and pray that a cleaner wipes down the door handle regularly so others aren't interacting with a thing that I have touched without washing my hands, OR risk furthering my own pain by bending to reach the sink, which could end in me stuck in the bathroom as my back seizes and I cannot move.

As I'm sure you can imagine from reading that, neither option is a good option, but one is a safer one for me. And I hate it. I'm 'lucky' in that I have to always carry baby wipes with me anyway so I'm somewhat able to mitigate the hygiene issue, but what if I didn't? What if I didn't have the extra disability and just had the back problems that required the extra space of the disabled bathroom for my mobility aids? What then?

I also have a radar key (for those not in the UK: disabled bathrooms are often locked. A radar key is a skeleton key for disabled bathrooms all around the UK) so I can always gain access to the disabled bathrooms. Except... I often have to find staff to help me open them anyway because the door handles are low and I can't bend to press them.

Now this post isn't me saying that the world should be built only to cater to me in particular (tho gods it would be nice!)

This post is talking about competing support needs and how my experience as a disabled person, struggling with how so much 'accessible' stuff is only designed for wheelchair users is just as valid as a wheelchair user celebrating that they can use an ATM and a public bathroom without needing the aid of a stranger or a carer.

I've seen quite a lot of people, in real life and elsewhere on the internet, want to call it Ableist when people ask for there to be a different option that would be inaccessible for a wheelchair user to use within an accessible area like a bathroom. They think it's able bodied people, or parents (since often in the UK, disabled bathrooms also double as baby changing, which is a whole different kettle of fish) demanding we take away the accessibility that the bathrooms are there for. They don't think about people on crutches, or canes, or with mobility that changes by day, or who can walk unaided but cannot bend, or, or, or.

Two sinks in a disabled bathroom would change my life. One wheelchair accessible, one not. I could wash my hands. Other people who needed the bathroom could wash their hands. Everyone could be hygienic in an accessible way!

Two ATMs, side by side. One lower, one higher. I can access my money. Wheelchair users can access their money. Everyone can withdraw their money safely in an accessible way!

Maybe there's no solution for some (like the door handle) but if others were solved, then the remaining ones would bother me a lot less. It's a lot less frustration and humiliation inducing to say "Hey, can you open the bathroom for me?" When you know you'll be able to wash your damn hands once inside, yknow?

[rottingparts]

Cool okay! May I request some general romantic head cannons for Bay! Optimus, Ironhide and Ratchet ? Thank you so much ! :)

(SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! My internet is fucked, but only on my computer, so i'm struggling atm.)

OF COURSE!! My favorites.... I mean I totally love them all equally :) I wrote them with a Human!Reader (that's all i write but i just wanted to calrify)!

Optimus Prime:

My love... probably the most normal of them honestly

Isn't like super duper outwardly romantic when others are around. He isn't too fond of PDA. BUT he still shows affection in lowkey ways.

Like, he will gently nudge you if you seem anxious or off in general, to get your attention and when you let him know you're ok he gives you a slight nod and continues on with his conversation.

It's really no secret, because him crouching down and his giant hand descending from his side and nudging you is not very subtle.

He is way more protective over you than any other human. Will not let anything harm you. And if something does, nothing will get in his way to help/save you.

LOVES (when it's just the two of you) for you to gently hold his face in your tiny (compared to him) hands! Double points if you gently bonk your forehead against his.

If you are not feeling it, having a bad day, what have you, he will take you for a ride to calm down. his voice is so soothing! Sometimes he'll even talk to you until you fall asleep if that is what you need.

You two became an 'item' mostly because you had made offhanded comment to Cade about Optimus being attractive in a way and Cade shut that shit down immediately but Optimus heard. It was too late, Cade has to deal with this now...

Literally so sweet! Will kill for you!

Ironhide:

Oh my... definitely the least normal (in an endearing way).

Doesn't mind/completely understand PDA honestly. Like, you wanna grab him and nuzzle his face? Please do. He will be forever grateful.

He definitely wants to show you off, he is so proud of you!! He also needs everyone to know you are taken :)

Like he will do little things to make sure the others know he is with you, like bringing you towards him when someone gets a little too close.

Wants you close to him at all times, so he knows you're safe.

If anyone threatens you in any capacity (even if its sarcasm from a close friend) his arm is around you, guarding you, while he points a gun at the one threatening you. It takes a minute to calm him down.

If you are like visibly upset/anxious/not having it, he is very vocal about pulling you out of the situation. Has zero problems taking you away in the middle of a conversation.

Will literally go into alt mode and just... drive away with you. Your friends don't like that too much.

Ironhide definitely was weird about his feelings at first. Him liking a human? No thank you. Definitely tried to push the feelings away, until getting tired and telling you how he felt.

When you lit up and said you felt the same? Oh he was over the moon!

Very protective and secretly very sweet! Will also kill for you!

Ratchet:

My sweet cinnamon bun....

Will literally die for your hugs!! Please just wrap your arms around his neck when he bends down and hug him so tight!

Doesn't mind PDA (in a sense of like hugging and being sweet) but does get very flustered!!

Call him any pet name (honey, dear, etc.) and he will combust. If he could blush, he definitely would. Really wanna make him weak in the knees? Call him 'My love.'

Ratchet would worry about you constantly honestly. Waaay more than anyone else.

I mean, you're just a human! You're squishy and small. There is a lot to worry about!

He realized he liked you because he was so worried for you, then he grew even more worried!

He accidently confessed his feelings for you when rambling about how worried he had been for you, and when you go wide eyed he is retracting everything and ready to run away.

When you reassure him and tell him you like him too? He is even more likely to combust.

Is always wanting to check in on you, and learns very quickly what upsets you and what soothes you. he is very attentive.

So fucking sweet and will die for you!!

[papercorgiworld]

When friends help you get the girl

A Remus Lupin love story

Remus struggles to ask you out and James tries to help. When Remus doesn't want to tell you he's a werewolf Sirius takes the blame. And Peter makes sure you spend some extra time together.

Not really a request, but I got two Remus related asks and I took that as a hint. First time writing for Remus, so I hope I did it right. Furthermore, atm I'm not working through my request chronological bc I was in the mood for a few short things, before I start on the bigger ones. Anyways, I hope you likey and per usual happy readings!

Warning: none, a bit flirty at the end

I. James intervenes

Remus was staring, no, he was ogling you as you walked in front of him and James snickers at his love struck friend. “Mate, you gotta stop staring and just talk to her.” Remus looks absolutely horrified at his friend’s advice. “Yeah, that might work for you, but I’m not doing that.” Remus argues and James chuckles. “So what’s your plan of action then? Stare at her… and hope for what?” Remus sighs. “I’m not staring… and nothing has to happen.” Remus drags his eyes away from you embarrassed at James' accusation. A mischievous smirk tugs on James’ lips as Remus’ eyes land back on you when you laugh at something Marlene says. Without Remus catching on James’ hand moves to his wand and he casts a little spell that causes a soft breeze to lift up your skirt, making you yelp and turn around. 

You notice Remus, who’s just smiling at you like a fool, and James who’s pointing at Remus telling you he’s the culprit. You frown at Remus and only then Remus realises James is pointing at him. Remus’ face fills with panic and he takes a step towards you. “No, no, it wasn’t me.” James laughs and Remus gets even more flustered. You grab your wand and James realises it’s time for him to run, leaving you with Remus. “I know it wasn’t you. I know you.” You reassure Remus as he watches James run around a corner, but he quickly looks back at you. “You do?” Remus asks, surprised by your answer since the two of you haven’t talked a lot. You smile at Remus’ surprised look. “Yes. Some people you just know from the moment you meet them.” The beautiful and genuine smile on your lips makes Remus relax. 

***

Remus returns to the common room and spots a grinning James sitting next to Peter and Sirius. “So, when’s the date, mate?” Remus chuckles at his friend’s question. “No date. We just talked. She is still after you for what you did by the way.” Sirius and Peter aren’t impressed and James just looks annoyed with Remus. “I took a risk blowing her skirt like that, but I took that risk because I thought you would take your chance and ask her out.” Remus gets flustered, because now everyone’s staring at him. “Guys, I’m not asking her out.” Sirius huffs. “Lame.” Peter shakes his head in disappointment and James looks almost mad, but they decide to drop the subject.

II. Sirius takes the blame

You had your suspicions. The injuries and always after a full moon, and there was also the nickname Moony, but you were sure when you had overheard the four friends whisper about werewolves. However, when you asked subtle questions hoping Remus would tell you something he always changed the subject or denied it, lying to your face how nothing was going on.

You had been understanding up until now, but today you’d had enough. As soon as Lily told you that Remus was in the hospital wing again you marched over there. Not to say you looked angry, but people moved aside when they saw you approaching.

When you spot Remus laying in bed all bruised and cuts on his face you calm down a little, not wanting to yell at him since he’s hurt, so you decide to play it smart. Unaware of you approaching, Remus laughs at something Sirius is joking about. “Hi.” You announce yourself with a sweet voice and Remus looks up startled to see you were here again for him. You had visited him every time he had ended up there and every time he had to come up with a lame excuse. She must think I’m the clumsiest guy alive. Ugh, I’ve got to come up with a better excuse. Something tough and manly. Remus smiles. “Hi.” You take a seat on his bed and grab his hand. “Tripped and fell down the stairs again?” You ask with a concerned voice and Sirius struggles to hide a chuckle, making your eyes dart to him for a second, before focussing on Remus again. Remus swallows and scans the room searching for a good excuse, when his eyes land on Sirius. “I got in a fight with Sirius.” He suddenly blurs and Sirius looks absolutely horrified at the accusation. 

You tilt your head and raise an eyebrow. “You got in a fight… with Sirius?” Remus nods, thinking his answer has you thinking he’s a strong tough guy, but you're not impressed by his lying nor his lame excuse. “So Sirius beat you up? But now your friends again?” Your eyes move between both Gryffindors and both nod hesitantly. Your eyes widen at their act and amused you cross your arms. “Why?” Remus shakes his head at your question. “What do you mean why?” You narrow your eyes at Remus. “Why did you two idiots fight?” You clarify and Remus frowns as he tries to come up with an answer. Worst liar ever. You roll your eyes. “Sirius got drunk.” Remus suddenly yells, happy he found an explanation. You frown and look over at a shocked Sirius, who then turns to you staring for a few seconds before picking up on the act. “Yeah. Sooo drunk. And then I punched him hard. And threw him off the stairs.” A nervous chuckle leaves Sirius and you sigh.

“Remus! Stop lying!” You yell suddenly and Sirius takes a step back in surprise. Remus’ smile falls as he realises he was fooling himself thinking you would fall for the stupid lie. “Fine you figured it out.” Remus admits and you sigh relieved that he’s done lying. “I have been keeping a secret… I’m... an animagus.” Your eyes turn stern and sigh annoyed with him. “No Remus, you’re a werewolf.” You state and look to meet his eyes, but he avoids your gaze, feeling ashamed of what he is and also because he was caught in a lie. You shake your head with sad eyes. “Why would you keep something so big from me? You know me, I would never judge you for something like that.” Sirius slowly and quietly moves back, giving the two of you space.

Remus sighs defeated and he knows he has to admit everything, you deserve the truth. “I know we would still be friends, but I don’t want to be just your friend. I wanted to be the perfect guy… for you.” He still doesn't dare meet your eyes, but you continue to watch him. “Remus.” You whisper and smile, leaning a bit closer. “You are perfect. And not despite being a werewolf, but because you are one.” Your statement makes him meet your eyes, confused about what you’re trying to say. “Your compassion, your strength, your loyalty, your gentleness towards everyone and everything is because of who you are as a whole and what you live through. I think every scar makes you look even more pure and perfect.”

There’s a silence as Remus processes your words, but you mistake this silence for rejection. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t enough, when you are more than I can wish for.” At those words Remus closes the last bit of space between you two and hesitantly he opens his mouth. “No, no. I was being a coward, you’ve been nothing but good to me and you make me so happy. Please. I should’ve been honest with you. I just- I-.” Feeling encouraged by his words, you reach for his shaky hands. “Kiss me, Remus.” You whisper and his heart stops beating for a few seconds, before he nods making you smile as he nervously moves so his nose gently brushes yours, before your lips meet for a tender kiss.

III. Peter has a plan

At the Hufflepuff party certain Gryffindors are up to no good. “Ingenious!” James whispers excited with Peter’s plan. “This will definitely work.” Sirius adds, making you and Remus frown as you approach the trio. “What are you up to?” You ask, making them jump and turn around with guilty faces. “Up to?” Sirius asks immediately followed by James saying “Nothing.” to which Remus narrows his eyes at Peter who smiles “Good.”. You roll your eyes and look at Remus. “Let’s get a drink.” The three guilty guys give the two of you an awkward thumbs up as you walk away chuckling. “Your friends are idiots.” You joke and Remus raises his brows. “Tell me about it.”

***

“Spin the bottle!” Someone yells and even though you hadn’t seen Peter, James or Sirius since you arrived they suddenly appeared out of nowhere and forced you both to participate in the silly game. “(y/n) begins.” Peter urges, pointing at the bottle in front of you. You’re hesitant because you really aren’t in the mood to kiss anyone that isn’t your boyfriend, but you give in to peer pressure anyway and spin the bottle. You’re overjoyed when it lands on Remus and you instantly shuffle a little closer to your flustered boyfriend. You loved how in public he would still get nervous around you and you bite your lip adoring his sweet smile as you go stand on your tiptoes.

However, your sweet moment is ruined when Peter and Sirius push you. “That way, both of you. No need to do that business when you’re in public.” You notice James holding a door open and signalling for you to get in the room. “I thought we were playing spin the bottle.” Remus argues confused as his friends guide the both of you to the room. “We’re playing the extended version.” Sirius explains. “Yes, 70 minutes in heaven.” Peter adds and you frown at the number. “It’s 7 minutes.” You correct and Peter snorts. “No, 70 is better, no need to rush things. It’s your first time, so take your time.” Your mouth drops, but you’re already in the room and with a grin James closes the door and locks it. Stunned, you turn on your heels to face your boyfriend who’s nervously biting his thumb. “I might’ve told them that we hadn’t gotten around to… uhm, things.”

You raise your brows and smile. “You told… Sirius, James and Peter that we haven’t had sex yet and you expected them to be normal about it.” Remus chuckles nervously. “Their stupid is affecting me.” You laugh at his innocent face and he takes a step towards you, cupping your cheek. “I’m so sorry you have to put up with them.” You meet his lips, kissing him tenderly. “You are worth all the trouble they cause.” Your forgivingness is met with a sweet kiss. “I love you.” Remus whispers and you happily wrap your arms around his neck. “I love you too.” His hands move to your hips pulling you closer, brushing his lips over yours again. “We are stuck here for 70 minutes…” You whisper, lips barely removed from his. “I’m sure we can break the spell.” Remus says, eyes moving towards the door, thinking of possible spells. “Yeah, the stupid is definitely rubbing off on you.” You roll your eyes and it takes Remus only a few seconds to catch on. 

“Did I just accidently reject my girlfriend?” He asks with a slight panic in his voice and you give him an obvious look. “You better make this up to me.” You tease and Remus grins. “Don’t mind if I do.” In an instant his lips are back on yours, hands exploring every curve of your body.

Wordcount: 1928

[writingforstraykids]

Sooo I tried to avoid this for a bit, buut I'll start my summer job tomorrow and I'll be busy all August, which means I won't be around much. On top of that I'm currently in a bit of a mental struggle and this will sound awfully lazy - I have a lot of fics finished but I don't find the time/brain atm to prepare the posts the way you are used to/I like them to be. So I'm really sorry if I'm currently posting slow (not three times a week). I just need a little time to get my shit together and I'll try and stick to 1-2 per week depending on my work schedules🖤🖤 Stay safe, loves, my dms are always open, I might just need a little longer to respond than usually🖤

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143 @sapphirewaves @dis-trict9

[zeondraws]

Ok, Fellas, so today was wild

I'm at Gamescom atm and a week before this I tried to make a small plan for myself. Mostly because I had gotten such a big interest for the game, I wanted to see if I can meet anyone at the event.

After having had a big hurdle while trying to reenter the business area, I was able to go back and meet someone from the Chinese Room (I met two today). Which was wild for me, didn't think with this sudden interest in the game that I was able to meet someone from the team who worked on the game so soon.

I told them how I struggle to find interests in most games since those usually don't speak to me, but Still Wakes The Deep suddenly caught my attention. Where I ended up researching a bunch to find hidden details or eastereggs, looking through the game files and replaying the game to further understand the story.

I only had a small window to ask a bunch of questions, I sadly couldn't ask silly questions like "Does Muir look like a Bagpipe?" or ask some Questions about Caz.

Before the meeting I asked people on the discord server if they wanted to know anything. So I tried to take the questions I had for the moment and get through them XD

I did tell them how there is a small community on tumblr/discord where we gather. And that I asked some folk for questions I should ask.

Ok these are big spoilers, at least some suprised me, quite a bunch if them are of course about Muir and Innes.

I hope I remember everything properly that he told me, I immediately wrote everything down on discord for the others to read, but figured making a tumblr post will be good as well.

Innes:

Quite a lot of people asked about the VA of Innes, apparently they forgot to include him in the credits which made them feel extremely bad, even apologising to them. I can definitely understand how that must feel, I think I'd melt away. They'd fix it in the next patch, I can't check if it's already fixed atm.

At the very end of our chat, while shaking hands, I asked if Innes is bald. And the answer was "*laughs* yes".

Now I clearly asked this one as a joke, because I found it funny to tell the others on discord, however I very much support luscious hair Innes that many are drawing.

Muir:

I explained to them how I've been researching some stuff in the game. And figured out, that Muir must've died around the time when Caz flooded the Forward Pontoon in Marine Control. So I asked if that's possible to be the time when it actually happend- and they did confirm this! I was surprised that I got that on point.

But I got some further details about this, apparently they wanted to showcase how Muir would've died there.

Basically, once Caz flooded the Forward Pontoon, you would've seen Muir outside loosing his grip out in the deck and getting crushed under debris.

Which was so painful for me to imagine, to see Muir outside, walking on his tendrils and suddenly not being able to keep his balance.

I tried illustrating how I roughly imagine this scene, it ain't perfect, but maybe it helps everyone to visualise it.

The Flooding shifted the entire rig and debris fell onto him.

To have some sense where everything is, Accommodation Roof (where you find Roy) is on the left side, if you look at the rig from the Derrick entrance. And Marine Control should be on the right side.

The thing is Marine Control is facing the ocean (if I remember correctly, I hope I do, I'm currently not home to check), so you couldn't take a look at the derick while Caz does the thing. Which basically made them remove this and hid Muir nearby the Derrick for players to find. And I told him how I replayed the game and saw Muir lay there with Innes, it was 6AM and I just sat there like O-O

Muir & Innes:

A burning question for many was, what their relationship is. And they told me it's more like a father son relationship, saying how Innes is very strict to Muir.

Muir is the younger one of the two and also likes to tease Innes a bunch (so the pipe thing is one of his many shenanigans he'd do)

Here we see a wild Muir in his natural habitat about to prank his friend (caught in 4k) (I almost died) (look at him plotting).

Now, I could not forget to mention that the fandom decided to ship Muir and Innes and wanted to see their reaction. They took it with a smile and just talked about their complex relationship again. Which I found cool to hear.

I sadly don't remember every small detail of the convo, since I wanted to make sure that I was able to ask all the questions people wrote on discord.

Brodie & Raffs:

This was a surprise to hear, which also made me very sad. Brodie was also like a father for Raffs, he knew his mother too.

And apparently Brodie was supposed to tell Raffs mother incase anything happened to him. So that she can feel better knowing Raffs died quickly and without much pain. Which is just... I'm in shambles. sobbing

Gibbo:

Some folk wanted to know if he had an actual model, to which the person answered with yes. They planned to show him at some point, but decided that the player should see Trots firstly.

I also randomly asked if the Gibbo model ingame was a part of Addairs model (judging by the game files), if I remember correctly he nodded.

I hope we get to see it in the artbook, I preordered it but forgor to tell him that. But it's okay.

I sadly don't remember everything here, I had to check discord for the questions (I hope I don't say anything wrong), but with Gibbo they focused more on the sound design and the mystery. And I think in the end it worked out perfectly.

Other:

They implanted a bunch of eastern eggs into the game, the art director even said he's still finding new ones to this day.

He mentioned the pictures shown in various areas and mentioned that he inserted pictures of his family and cousins etc.

Also the Kid inside the TV in the Crew Lounge? That's the Art Director as a kid! Whaaaaaaaa- Didn't know this one for sure.

And another random thing, I showed him the meme that @cazrig made. Because I inserted it inside my piece of fanart. I sadly couldn't show him more memes of the community because I forgor/no time. The memes Robin made are also comedy gold.

It was this one (I keep dying of laughter)

He found it very funny, so did the other person I showed it to.

But he also talked about how worried he was how the game would be perceived in the end. Since it came out extremely close to the release date of the new Elden Ring DLC. And having worked on it for so long they didn't know how the reactions would be.

But were positively surprised how well it was perceived, people playing the game, tears being shed and so on.

Okay that took me ages to write, I just wanted to have it all inside a tumblr post. Otherwise I may forget stuff if it's scattered on discord.

The event day turned out well for me today. I was so worried, that my tiny plan wouldn't work yesterday. But somehow I had some luck on my side.

After I got home I added his signature to my physical copy. I also made myself a small card with my artwork for it. I also gave them a small card and a big printed version of the fanart as well.

Thank you John!

I go sleep now, tomorrow is another gamescom day

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

hi! i saw your post about how true the makers of atsv were to real-life brooklyn and i loved it so much that i just had to ask if you'd be willing to make a more in-depth analysis on that? i'm not from america but i adore the movie so it's very interesting to hear firsthand accounts about its authenticity from locals! ofc this is just a humble request and i completely understand if the answer is no <3

I'd LOVE to! The Spiderverse Series is honestly the most accurate movie of New York I've seen in my life - including live-action movies. I say that not just in essence but in everything. And Across the Universe takes it over the top. Like, INSANELY so.

Across The Spiderverse & It's Dedication to Cultural Accuracy [aka ATSV is so goddamn good I can tell you exactly what street Gwen and Miles went to Mumbattan from. It's that accurate.]

I'm a black, afro-latino, and a born and raised 'Brooklynite'. Despite there being thousands of movies of New York, I'd say less than 5 percent of them are in any way accurate or current. (Yellow taxi cabs are no longer a thing here really.)

But Across the Spiderverse defies that in every way - nailing it historically, culturally, and even by replicating exact locations.

Wanna see the Bodega Spot robbed? Cause it's a real, random bodega! And the building he goes into at the end - I can tell you exactly where it is, with 100% assurity. All by street signs.

In the first scene with Spot we see him standing outside on the curb, looking into the store. On the corner there is a street sign that reads Fulton St.

Fulton is an actual street in BedStuy (Bedford Stuyvesant, pronounced Bed-St-eye), literally a stone's throw from my house. And they take it further.

Although it can be hard to see, the other side to the left of it reads Nostrand Ave. Fulton and Nostrand is a very popular intersection in the neighborhood, mainly because there's a subway station for the A line located on one corner.

There's Nostrand and Fulton.

But if you turn to the other corner you see...A Bodega! Looks familar?

That's the bodega Spot robbed.

99% of the people who watch this movie will be from New York. Even less will be from BedStuy. Even less will catch the split second sign on the corner, only on screen for only a few frames.

It took me 3 watches to notice. But I noticed. And my jaw dropped. How much that means is unexplainable. I've been on that corner, and the TacoBell across the street. And so has Miles. That's insane.

It doesn't stop there.

Spot enters the store, as we pass we see a sticker for 'WIC/EBT' on the cashier's counter. I'm not sure how common this is - but WIC and EBT standards for Welfare Benefits and Food Stamps. As you cannot buy warm food with Food Stamps (sadly), lots of bodegas advertise taking EBT for the deli sandwiches.

Nice shout out to the struggling families in the communities, I love a Bodega that takes EBT.

We move towards the back of the store - In the Bodega while Spot messes with the ATM we get a wider shot, and another very insanely specific shout out.

Behind Spot is a sign showing a Beef Patty (which I'll mention in a moment) and a sun logo called 'Sunny Patty'.

This is a direct call out to a specific chain of Beef Patty shops in Brooklyn and Harlem called 'Golden Krust'.

I cannot stress how much of a niche reference this is! Golden Krusts only exist in low income neighborhoods - mainly in Brooklyn, Harlem, and the Bronx. If you're anywhere near Times Square or any place else New York shows choose to portray - you're not finding a Golden Krust.

Golden Krusts are store that is ingrained in Caribbean culture, which Brooklyn is full of - hence the adapted Jamaican flag up front. I grew up eating Golden Krust and I'd eat it more if they didn't close so goddamn early.

But it's there.

Once again, only a few pixels, only a few frames, but someone probably took 6 hours drawing that. For the 0.009% of the people who'll get the reference. Low-income, black New Yorkers - like me.

ATSV is so accurate that you can even find the exact spot in which Miles and Gwen leave through the portal.

But before I tell you where it is - I wanna talk about why it's so important.

It's important because one of the most famous Spider-man scenes in history is just plain WRONG to New Yorkers.

This scene is ENTIRELY incorrect, and I knew it even as a child.

Firstly, based on the skyscrapers everywhere, this is solidly Manhattan. The train says Bay Ridge, which is in South Brooklyn, maybe 40 minutes away by train. So I'm going to assume this is the Q or B train, running through Manhattan. Which, okay they do, but -

There are NO elevated trains in Manhattan. The Q, like every other train, only goes above ground in Brooklyn and Queens. This is very clearly Chicago.

So he couldn't be doing this. It's a simple but HUGE fuck up. Any one born in New York will notice it because Manhattan just looks wrong with elevated trains.

And it would've been fine if they just set it in Brooklyn where Bay Ridge and the elevated trains actually are.

But instead they made generic Manhattan streets - so much so I can't even tell what neighborhood they're in. Do you see how this is such a problem?

Across The Spiderverse is animated. And they still put in the effort.

I can't tell you where Peter Parker is stopping that train - it ain't Manhattan - but I CAN tell you where Miles and Gwen leave for Mumbattan.

So let's go back to where we started. We're on Fulton and Nostrand both in BedStuy.

Throughout the fight, we see Spot and Miles go through a couple streets - most notably a very popular street in the neighborhood - Broadway.

This happens twice, once while fighting Spot, and once when Miles and Gwen grab the hot dogs. They show this twice, cause this will be important for what we're trying to do.

Now this may not make any sense to you, since it's just random streets, but I'm about to tie it together.

Gwen releases the bug near an elevated train. When we see Miles and Gwen swinging, they cling to a train. Now, it's hard to tell what train this is but so far we know.

We're in Brooklyn

We're near Broadway

We're near an elevated train line

There's a station on Broadway called Broadway Junction. It serves the G line and the J,M,Z line.

When we see the train pass by, we get a glimpse of the model. Each train line has a slightly different variation, with some being a lot old. The one that passes is one of the newer ones.

(Once again, very accurate, as those models do run on elevated lines)

And although we can't see the letter on the train, by that alone, I can guess we're by the elevated J,M,Z lines in BedStuy - near Broadway Junction. Easy. Now we just need to know what stop we're at.

Well, they tell us that too. Finally, When Spot heads into the building we get a glimpse of the exact street he's on - Bedford.Ave

So I just threw a LOT of information at you - but look at this map of the J,M,Z line and hopefully it comes together

At the bottom along the green line - we see Bedford/Nostrand Ave. Remember, the robbery starts us off on Nostrand. Let's move up the green line. We get to a part where the green line passes the brown and orange ones - the JMZ trains.

They connect at Broadway (Officially Broadway Junction Station). We see Broadway with the hot dog vendor there.

If we move to left of Broadway we see Marcy Av. - and if we look to the left OF THAT we see a faint white line heading north.

THAT line is Bedford Ave. Where Spot enters the building.

Because we know they're in Brooklyn, and we know they passed Broadway. Plus we know they're now on Bedford by an elevated train that runs newer models.

So from those signs alone we can definitely say that Spot is on Bedford Ave. and Broadway. Next to the JMZ elevated trains, two stops from Broadway Junction in Brooklyn.

100% that's the spot (lol). That's the only place Bedford crosses an elevated train. And as a New Yorker, I got that from this photo.

Trust me when I say - we can tell.

By those short shots of street signs, we know that Miles started in BedStuy, swung north towards Broadway, then took a turn towards Bedford Ave in Williamsburg. And that's where Gwen plants the bug - and the place she returns to before going to Mumbattan.

Is that crazy? That's CRAZY. Percision accuracy that I have never seen in a movie live-action or otherwise.

All throughout the first scenes of ATSV - they are on actual streets, that are reasonably within swinging distance of each other, along actual train lines - with their stations accurately located.

That's INSANE. There was no need for that amount of detail, but they did it anyway.

There's SO many times in Spider-men movies where they'll start swinging in Queens, and then the next scene is like Upper Manhattan. They don't label the neighborhoods, but from buildings alone, I can tell what neighborhood it is.

And I'm supposed to believe Peter just swung 2 and a half boroughs in twenty minutes. I don't notice. But I NOTICE.

Here, Miles and Gwen are truly swinging accurate distances in the right amount of time. That's mental. And refreshing!

In a live action movie - they have NO excuse. Just film in the city, it's not like we're Gotham. And we give film crews huge tax breaks. In an animated movie - completely understandable. But they still said 'No, that's subpar.' and went the extra mile.

They didn't even have to show ANY street signs, they could've left it at the easter egg at the corner store.

But they didn't. Because they're telling a story about a Black kid from Brooklyn, who leaves for someplace completely unfamiliar. BedStuy is Miles' home, and they wanted to make it feel that way. So when he's not there - in the cold polish of Neuva York - you can feel it.

You can feel Miles leaving his warm, rich community when he lacks that community in the Society. In the movie and IRL, BedStuy is so full of color, with so many people doing so many things and sharing so many cultures.

And in the society, everyone is the same. There's no culture. That's dedication.

Because of a train in Spider-man 2, I was immediately taken out of the story. And because of train in ATSV, I was immediately brought in.

For once, it feels like they're swinging around a neighborhood - cause they are.

A Large Detail in ATSV:

So I talked about Trinity Church - the real church that Peter Parker was buried at in ITSV - and how accurate the team got it to the actual building.

In fact, this is the spot where Miles is standing.

Like he's standing maybe 20 feet AT most from this spot, you can see in the windows and spires at the top.

But I also wanna explain why this - and why the fact that Peter was buried there is SO important.

Trinty Church is one of the most famous historical churches in the United States. It was started by the first English settlers in New York. It's extremely famous, and extremely sentimental.

For reference - Alexander Hamilton and his family are also buried at Trinity Church, along with dozens of other important US historical figures - across centuries.

You can't just be buried in Trinity. It's a city landmark. The cemetery is full, small, and you CANNOT pay your way in. The church is extremely choosy with who they will bury there - and honestly, I don't think anyone has been buried there for maybe a century or more.

So for the city to bury Peter Parker's body in the most prominent church in all of the city, if not the country - that speaks VOLUMES.

Like I said in the last post, my father use to work at Trinity Church - and they're the whole deal. Candles burning everywhere, super quiet and devote. The church has catacombs under it, everything.

They didn't just bury him anywhere. The people of New York went out of their way to give Peter Parker the most honorable burial physically possible within the city of New York.

The highest honor for any New Yorker. One reserved only for Spider-man.

Which I think was an amazing touch. Especially since Trinity is in downtown Manhattan - so anyone could come visit and pay respects.

Other Cultural Accuracies

Before we wrap up I wanna breeze through some other cultural accuracies that appear in ATSV.

Miles stops to eat a Jamaican Beef Patty while in the Bodgea. I spoke about these earlier with the Golden Krust sign. Jamaican beef patties are these flaky pastries colored with tumeric, full of spicy meat. And they are very popular with the large Carribean community in Brooklyn - which I'm apart of :)

In the case, we see the Beef Patties labeled with red dots. But Miles seems to go for the only one without it.

I'm guessing the red dots indicate which ones are the spicy Beef Patties and which ones are the mild, and Miles grabbed the last mild one they had.

They draw it really well, especially while Miles is eating it.

"Spider-man seems more Dominican." Genuine question - did anyone laugh at this joke in your theatre?

Because all three times I went, people laughed. The first time people LOVED that joke.

NYC, especially the Bronx has a HUGE Puerto Rican AND Dominican population - many times living side by side

And there's this kinda 'beef' in the same way Yankees fans have beef with the Mets fans (NYC baseball teams)

The best way I can describe the joke is that they're two very strong, very proud Spanish cultures that are often mistaken for each other - but Puerto Ricans and Dominicans can very obviously tell each other apart. Mainly because of the Spanish they speak.

So for him and his mom to have that back and forth, it's kinda an inside joke of Puerto Ricans and Dominicans getting confused for each other - but them being able to tell the difference.

His mom says Spider-man is Puerto Rican, but Miles corrects her - without backing it up with any reason.

It's like they can just TELL.

I don't know how else to explain the joke but its a very New Yorker thing to do - discuss that out like that.

Since a lot of us are the children of immigrants - it's knee-jerk to identify with your parent country and not this one.

If you ask someone in New York 'What are you'. Many young people (me included) would say "Oh I'm *parents nationality*." In my case, I say I'm Bajan and Peruvian. Even though I was born in New York.

Miles would say he's Puerto Rican though he's never been.

So them discussing where Spider-man is 'from' even though he's obviously a New Yorker is the joke.

Like - someone on the writing team HAD to be from New York to add that in cause it's so...oddly New Yorker???

While swinging Miles and Gwen pass the B46 bus. Once again, completely accurate. The scene starts on Nostrand and Fulton. The B46 does indeed stop on Fulton St.

When they're swinging, the movie accurately shows the new World Trade Center (aka The Freedom Tower) - which is the tallest building in the picture.

Also, the bridge to the LEFT is the Brooklyn Bridge, while the tall one on the right is Manhattan Bridge. Many people don't know there's actually two bridges. (There's more but those two are the main ones)

Good on them for showing both Bridges, both accurately placed as well

Fun fact: Trains run over the Manhattan Bridge - the Q, B and a couple others (beautiful - I love it when they do) but trains do not run over the Brooklyn Bridge.

And lastly, when Miles and Spot are on Broadway, the school behind them is actually architecturally accurate for a Brooklyn school. So much so that design is iconic.

______________________ So those are most if not all of the cultural accuracies in Across the Spiderverse!

I cannot stress enough how ridiculously bang on this movie is in terms of everything.

The team put in so much work, and it paid off. To me, at least.

I don't feel like Miles is some kid from a different alternative New York. I feel like he's a real kid in MY New York. From everything down to his Jordans (don't even get me started on how much Jordan's has a CHOKEHOLD on teenagers in New York. Like...it's a status thing. Even since I was a kid, everyone wanted Jordans. Jordans or Nike Air Force 1s. So having Miles wear Jordans is my favorite thing cause yea a kid from BedStuy would think those are flyest shit ever even though they're just regular degular Jordans lol. And you KNOW Miles 42 a sneakerhead. Look at those shoes. He aint creasing those)

This movie, is chef's kiss. It tops all other New York portrays - live-action or otherwise and I stand on that.

If you read this far, thank you SO much. I love sharing New York culture (and the cultures that make it what it is to begin with) and I'm SO happy I can share this stuff and hopefully help people appreciate the movie more too!

If you learned something or have any questions, I'm all ears!

And I usually leave a photo of Hobie here as a send-off but this post hit the photo limit LMAOOOOOO

Bye.

[dangerpronebuddie]

Just saw your RB of that post abt Garrard and HARD SAME cos like it keeps being irritating af to me that the conversation so far, in some parts in fandom, is centered around how buck, the one white man on the A shift atm, would be effected by Garrard's bigotry and not literally everybody else's!!! Who's like.... none of which are white!!! Like I love Buck but c'mon!!

... honestly, I apologize for using your ask box for venting but this has been chocking me for a bit there

Feel free to vent any time honey 🥰 I totally get it.

I love Buck too. With my whole heart. But a lot of people forget that Hen and Chim were traumatized and harassed nonstop by that man, and Tommy was no help whatsoever.

It seems to me like they brought in Gerrard partially to somehow get people to sympathize with Tommy. And I get it, Gerrard is a jackass and hates everyone and everything, I'm not justifying his newfound dislike for Tommy. Hate is hate, and I thought the fairy comment was uncalled for just as much as anybody.

But damnit, Hen and Chim faced the brunt of it and it feels like no one cared until the white guys might be subjected to it. Even after 7x09, they made it out to be like Chim was defending Buck and Tommy and not himself. Chim was standing up for Chim, and I felt immensely proud and so happy for him. I have no doubt in my mind he'd stick up for them should the need arise. But that moment? That was for Chim.

I definitely see Gerrard making all of A shift's lives hell, but the way these people talk about it make it seem like Buck and Tommy's struggles will be the only ones that matter. As if Hen and Chim won't be reliving the worst moments of their professional lives and Ravi and Eddie won't be subjected to it too.

And I wasn't gonna go there, but ya know what? Fuck it. To me, it's a little hypocritical of some people in the fandom to call out bigotry and homophobia and any other discrimination when all they care about is Tommy and Buck being victims of Gerrard's reign of terror like the others don't exist.

[devildom-moss]

Im so happy the request box is open again /gen

Could i request a fic where MC has an ed (Eating Disorder)?

Im struggling with eating atm and would love to read about the characters (especially Beel) comforting the MC about it

Thats all, have a good day!

Lots of love, anonymous M /ref

Anon, I'm so sorry that you're struggling. Please do your best to practice harm reduction in regards to your specific eating disorder. I hope that you are able to get the help you require.

I also hope that this fic will be a comfort to you. I tried to keep the specifics of the eating disorder vague since there are so many types and I didn't know which you had. There are some mentions of binging and restricting, so I hope that is okay. The format of this was kind of experimental, so I hope it came out okay.

I love you. Take care (to the best of your ability).

MC with an eating disorder

(SFW) (unspecified eating disorder with mentions of restriction and binging) (could be read as platonic) (all characters) (half fic/half headcanons?)

Word Count: +3,900

You couldn’t hide this forever. They were bound to figure it out eventually. The unfortunate thing about being a person is that no matter how careful you were – how hard you tried – secrecy, subtlety, and perfectionism were not without clumsiness. Even if you wanted to hide this from them forever, you were going to slip up – do something suspicious. Most sicknesses have symptoms, and someone will find them.

Or maybe you had a moment of pure courage and decided to tell them: you needed help. Maybe you understood – even if it felt like a lapse in judgment – that the best outcome for your health and happiness would not be achieved alone. You needed someone – some understanding source of love and support.

The truth leaked out to everyone eventually – and eventually seemed to crash into you like the final domino in an elaborate setup. The most knowledgeable and observant of the bunch couldn’t keep quiet for long. It’s hard to bite your tongue when someone you love is suffering.

You were hardly prepared for the talk they all felt was necessary. Barbatos called for a meeting with you “to discuss a personal matter of utmost importance.” To be fair, they all made the decision not to overwhelm you by not allowing everyone to take part in the meeting.

When you arrived at the castle for the meeting (mostly to prevent nosy eavesdropping), Barbatos escorted you into a room with Simeon, Solomon, Lucifer, and – surprisingly – Mammon. Initially, Lucifer had no intention of allowing Mammon into the meeting, but “being MC’s first” and the fact that he had been the one to alert Lucifer to your struggle held enough sway to expand the meeting size to six.

On your long walk back home, during which you were escorted by Lucifer and Mammon in a miserable, awkward silence that Mammon made multiple attempts to alleviate, you couldn’t stop clinging to their words during that meeting.

You couldn’t remember who spoke first – who had the guts to interrupt such a solemn, all-knowing silence. Lucifer or Barbatos? No. They planned this, so maybe they pushed the softest approach on you – forced a tender heart to confirm that the time had come to talk about your eating (or lack thereof). In that case, it was probably Simeon. Your memory was already so hazy. Maybe you shut down and dissociated. Maybe you would remember if your body wasn’t going through hell. Then again, if it wasn’t, maybe you wouldn’t have had to have that conversation.

– Got bad enough for them to notice, I guess?  That was a shitty thought to have. The sooner it gets addressed, the better. No one should have to get “bad enough.” You knew that. –

In truth, they had planned ahead, and Simeon was supposed to ease you into the conversation. Mammon couldn’t let him, though. “Ya know, I don’t care how strong ya get. I still think it’s my job to protect ya. You’re sick right now. All tha signs are there. Ya keep hurtin’ yourself doin’ shit like this. I’m doin’ an awful job keepin’ ya safe, so we’re gonna get ya some help. And we’re gonna be right there with ya the whole time. I’m gonna be there – whatever ya need.”

Simeon was relieved that Mammon spoke first – even if it wasn’t the perfect, delicate approach. Simeon had been something he hadn’t been for a very long time: afraid. They all were to some extent – if not afraid, then nervous. However, with Mammon’s interruption, the structured plan crumbled, and they all spoke in cautious yet clumsy intervals. It seemed suitable, then, that the rest of the meeting only existed in messily cut up pieces that you shoved together. Your brain was the young, sickly protégé of Victor Frankenstein and your recall-creature arose as a bloody, poorly constructed monster. There was no chasing this monster off. It clung to your waist and shadowed your every step. It was a sad, hurtful little creature, but there was love in every bone and mass of flesh.

Lucifer had promised to assist with doctors’ orders, keep an eye on your condition, and accommodate you while ensuring his brothers fell in line. What you remembered was the scent of Demonus that lingered on him when he pulled you against him and told you, “Whatever will ease the burden during the hardest parts of your recovery, you’ll have it.” He had had a drink or two to settle his nerves before you arrived.

Barbatos had promised to get you good human doctors – medical and psychological – who specialized in your particular condition. What you remembered was the unfamiliar look of sorrow on Barbatos’s face as he held your hand and promised, “We will prioritize your comfort – no matter how many doctors you have to go through. You’ll get the treatment you need.”

Solomon had offered his magical skills to assist with your commitment to recovery and to ease any pain or side effects that your eating disorder had and would cause. You remembered him gently holding your face and telling you, “I’d never let anyone hurt my adorable apprentice – and that includes you.”

Simeon had offered you a constant and understanding ear to listen. He was the best alternative when you wouldn’t or couldn’t turn to a professional. Simeon had even promised to help Luke and Raphael navigate your recovery as best as he could. You remembered the grave concern on his face – almost frightening – as he told you, “We love you, and you’re hurting. Please let us help you however we can.”

They hadn’t pressured you to explain everything you were doing or understand all of it on your own. They hadn’t even forced you to respond right away. Everything else they had said – and anything you had said – seeped out your ears until you were left with the sound of your own voice giving them one ashamed and heartfelt “okay.”

The conversation probably hadn’t even happened in that order, but it was a hard one to have, and you couldn’t be faulted for jumbling it up.

“Here, take it.” Mammon interrupted the cacophony in your mind by throwing his jacket over your head and gently petting you through the fabric.

You felt something wet running down your cheek. It must have started to rain while you were thinking. No, wait, am I crying? When did that happen? It wasn’t a lot, but a few stray tears escaped you. You tried to blink them away, but now that you had a way to hide, they flowed easier. “Thanks, Mammon.”

You were scared that you would never like yourself no matter what happened, but they loved you, and that was a start.

When you returned to the House of Lamentation, you hid yourself away in the attic where you could cry alone without the protection of Mammon’s jacket. It was getting hot under there, anyway. Despite their attempts, you still felt overwhelmed by the confrontation, and you just wanted to hide from everyone – well, maybe not everyone.

It was a comfort when you heard a soft knock at the door and saw that fluffy orange hair peeking in. “MC, can I come in?”

He found you, and something about that melted your heart, even though you thought you wanted to be alone. You wiped any stray tears from your eyes and cleared your throat. “Yeah, you can come in, Beel.”

Surprisingly, when he sat down next to you on the bed, his lashes stuck to his skin like he had been crying, too. There was a long silence, during which he just stared at you. Sometimes, you liked it when he looked at you. You’d see all the affection on his face and recognize the love behind it. Other times, it made your skin crawl as insecurity squirmed around through your veins like a parasite. You saw everything you deemed wrong with yourself, and there was no way to hide it. This time, it felt different – some slow-cooked stew of guilt and sorrow. You imagined an inflated, tainted feeling of pity in that look where it was absent. In reality, “pity” from Beel used that word in its purest, sweetest form; there was no negativity or disregard – only sympathy and compassion.

Beel leaned down and bonked his forehead against your shoulder, leaving it there. His breath was slow and even, finding comfort in the physical touch, as he built up the courage to speak.

“Do I make your eating disorder worse? I’m always eating and talking about food.”

“No . . . well yes – but no.” Beel pulled back to look at you, doing everything he could to not look hurt and sorry. You felt the cracks in the dam begin to burst. Either you patch them up now, or you lift the gates and relieve some of the pressure. You chose the latter. “You made it easier to hide it. I could give you my food whenever I was restricting, and you were so happy to be fed that you never worried about me being hungry. Then, I got to watch you eat. It was cathartic – watching you do something I couldn’t do. You made it easy to cover up a binge, too. No matter how out of control I felt, I couldn’t make a dent in the amount of food you ate. That kind of made me feel better, but it enabled me. The extra food I ate, the snack boxes and wrappers, the disappearing food – everyone assumed it was all you most of the time. It saved me a lot of embarrassment, I guess, but it didn’t take away the shame. And to be honest, I’m kind of jealous of you. You’re out of control when you eat sometimes, and then you have all the control in the world to work out. But you look amazing, and you seem happy. I can see my impulses in you, and I think, if it was just a little different – maybe if I was better and more disciplined, I’d be more like you and less like me. I know that isn’t how it works; it’s just how I see things.”

You hadn’t expected all of that to come rushing out. Then again, neither did Beel, but he sat there firm and strong through it all. For a brief moment, a cruel and twisted feeling popped into your mind. What is he doing? Is he one of those idiots who stands in the path of a tropical storm because they think they can take it? He’s going to get hurt. Just move out of the way. You knew better than that train of thought. Beel would make himself an immovable structure through all of this if you’d let him. Hell, he’d make the effort even if you didn’t.

You cast your eyes down to the bedspread and the way Beel laid his hands down on it in front of him, with one cradled in the other while he ran his thumb along the side of his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Beel interrupted. “It’s a lot to process, but thank you for telling me.”

Beel let out a calm, steady breath before standing up. He offered you his hand with a rueful smile.

“What is it?” you asked with your brow furrowed in confusion.

“Do you want to dance for a bit? I know we don’t have music, but I think better when I move.” Beel was embarrassed by the admission – but more embarrassed by the strangeness of his request. He added, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“We can dance.” You took his hand and let him make the clumsy attempt to lead. He wasn’t close enough nor graceful, but he was trying.

“I’m not very good at this, but I want you to get better. I hope you don’t mind learning together.” He had never had to help someone recover. You had to learn how to get better, and he had to learn how to support that.

“I don’t mind.”

“Even if I mess it up?” Even if he said the wrong thing or accidentally triggered you? Even if he couldn’t protect you every time? Even if you found a new place to hide and he didn’t come find you right away?

“You don’t have to be perfect.”

“Neither do you.” Beel had sharpened his words for that one, and all you could do was give him an apologetic chuckle. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t –”

“– I could, and that scares me. I love you so much. I will still love you during recovery. I’ll love you through relapses. I’ll love you when – and if – you fully recover. There’s nothing wrong with your willpower or your body. You’re sick and hurt. We’ll be okay.” Beel had added the last part for his own comfort before he pulled you closer. He stopped trying to dance and just held you against him, as if to remind you that he was there.

With the professional help came the personal support.

Lucifer keeps track of you and your meds. He checks in with you and your doctor and ensures you take your medication in a timely manner. He removes scales from the house or keeps them safely hidden from you. He keeps his brothers up to date on your recovery plan (with your permission), so that you don’t have to deal with it. He gently pushes you along when he catches you staring in a mirror unfavorably.

Mammon magically removes all the nutrition information – barring ingredients and allergy information – from groceries and snacks whenever someone does the shopping. He also walks you to all your medical and psychological doctor’s appointments. More importantly, he keeps you distracted when you feel bad – movies, games, dancing in clubs, you name it. However, he won’t take you gambling with him anymore, horrified that you might jump from one maladaptive behavior to another.

Leviathan, whose entire existence is antithetical to normie values, musters up the courage to remind you that he thinks you look amazing and that you don’t have to worry about what normies think. He is almost always there to play games with you or read manga or watch anime – especially when binge urges come. He’s happy to spend time with you, so don’t be ashamed of the reason you need a distraction. He makes and buys cosplay outfits for you and spends half an hour hyping you up so that you feel confident – even if you never end up wearing it outside.

Satan helps monitor your nutrition and plans meals that will help you avoid malnutrition. He works especially hard on this during the first few months of recovery and after relapses when it’s the most critical. He reads up on eating disorder treatments and studies anecdotal success stories so that he can help equip you with more tools to ensure your full recovery. He also offers distractions when you need them. Sometimes, he even reads to you.

Asmo compliments you endlessly – almost daily if you let him. He finds cute clothes for you that fit you in ways that make you feel comfortable and look amazing. He does your makeup and hair if you want it – anything to make you feel better about yourself. He’ll take pictures of you if you let him. Hell, he’ll arrange a full boudoir photoshoot for you if it boosts your confidence. Asmo has always been able to find beauty in anyone, so he tries to lean into body positivity and prove to you that there is beauty in every body because being alive is majestic all on its own. It’s equally important what Asmo doesn’t do, though. He stops body checking and talking about diets around you. He diets less, and when he does, he keeps the details of it away from you. This isn’t exactly supportive, but he will offer to praise you in bed and make you feel so gorgeous and so good that your mind has no room for self-doubt.

Beelzebub eats meals and snacks with you – especially when you are having trouble eating. He’s great to have around when you want to try eating something or multiple things off a menu, but you’re worried about feeling the need to keep eating after you’re full. He’s always happy to eat the leftovers. He constantly tells you how happy he feels when he sees you enjoying food with him. He also exercises with you – taking special care to ensure that you aren’t pushing yourself too far. He just wants you to get the movement that supports your health. He probably also teaches you something like boxing to help you release anger and anxiety during your recovery. Additionally, it’s hard for anyone to make you feel weird or bad about your exercise levels when Beel is around to level them if they so much as look at you the wrong way. Alternatively, he also accommodates you by helping you exercise in private (a home gym or body weight exercises; if your mind is in the gutter, that’s fine too).

Belphie walks you home from all your appointments. Mammon could do it, and it’s a lot of effort for him to walk you home, especially when he wasn’t already out and about, but he wants to show you that you are worth the effort. He threatened to curse and beat up Mammon if he didn’t let him walk you home. He likes the idea of you knowing that after a check-up or a draining therapy session, you can expect to see him waiting outside for you. He’s never late, either. He watches the stars with you and reminds you that you are beautiful to him but in the vastness of the universe, your body, your weight, your sense of control – none of it matters as much as you think it does. He is also an anarchist, and that especially includes diet culture. “Fuck society. I just want you to be alive and to take naps with me.” Also, he thinks your body is incredibly comfortable to nap on, but he tries not to actually say that.

Diavolo employs the best doctors he can find for you – with help from Barbatos. He adores complimenting you, so you can expect him to continue reminding you how amazing you are – both mentally and physically. He doesn’t have as much time to spend supporting you, but if he can provide you with any services, he’ll do it. His favorite thing to do is to take you shopping and buy clothes and accessories for you. If you like it and wearing it makes you feel better, he’ll get it for you. It’s a good distraction, and seeing you smiling in outfits that he got for you warms his heart. When he does have spare time, he’ll try to spend it with you so he can check in and see how you’re doing – but also so he can just be around you.

Barbatos offers to make lunch for you sometimes. Once he gets your permission, he makes adorable and appetizing dishes so that when you see them, you’re actually happy to eat them (usually. Some days will just be bad, and there’s nothing more he can do). He listens to you without judgment. He’ll pour you a cup of tea, offer you something to eat, and let you pour your heart out. He also sews outfits specifically for you, using it as an excuse to both provide personal attention and to tell you how incredible and breathtaking you look.

Luke has a surprisingly good grasp on the situation thanks to Simeon, Solomon, and his own reading. He offers to accompany you to the store when you have to buy groceries. He also does activities with you that don’t involve food – mostly games, puzzles, and going on walks. However, if you’re okay with it, he brings you into the kitchen to cook and bake with him (and sometimes with Barbatos, Simeon, and/or Beel). Maybe it’s because he’s younger, but unlike Simeon or Barbatos, Luke has more courage to invite you into a potentially stressful situation for your eating disorder in an attempt to help you establish a healthy relationship with food and cooking.

Simeon is always there to listen – especially once he figures out how to make a proper video call. He also provides you with plenty of distractions. As the author of the bunch, he’s obligated to encourage you to write or journal to help process your recovery (and just for fun). Consequently, you have a lot of chill writing dates. Sometimes that means relaxing in Simeon’s room with him while you both quietly write your own things. Other times, he invites you out to pretty or interesting locations. When you go out, he does everything he can to ensure your comfort. You’re free to bail whenever you feel the need to.

Solomon, like Satan, does extensive research on eating disorders. He’ll go so far as to interrogate other sorcerers about any magic they might know that will help your chances of a full recovery. If a solution exists, he’ll find it. If it doesn’t, he’ll try whatever options he has to improve your chances of living a long, happy life. However, his studying usually happens behind your back. One of the most important things Solomon does is treat you like normal. It can be a comfort. Unfortunately, on the occasion that Solomon offers you food he’s made, when you refuse, he gets worried about your eating disorder. My guy, it’s not the eating disorder; it’s your atrocious cooking.

Thirteen monitors your candle closely, looking for faster or slower burning rates to gauge your health on her own. If something seems off, she knows it’s time to speak up. She brings you adorable and delicious food and drinks – with your permission – and eats with you so that you can try to enjoy food. If you have concerns about drinks and liquid calories, she will try to help you ease that by offering you sips of her drinks and reminding you that it’s okay. If you like the drink, she’ll happily let you have the rest of it. She will also invite you out to eat and, like Beel, she’ll eat whatever you won’t finish. Outside of food, she distracts you by letting you in on her trap building process and bringing you along to test them out. Your laugh when one of her traps successfully ensnares someone is precious to her. She is another good confidant when you need someone to talk to.

Raphael uses his magic to heal you whenever you’re in pain (if eating hurts your stomach, heartburn, if your body is sore from exercise, etc.). He puts blessings on you – sometimes without your knowledge – to help you feel better mentally, too. Like Barbatos, Raphael sews new outfits for you, but he mostly focuses on trying to tailor your existing clothes to accommodate how your body might change during recovery. Some clothes can be irreplaceable, and he wants you to still be able to wear them no matter how you change.

Mephisto is probably the last person to find out, which annoys him. To compensate for being last, he writes up and prints an entire report, highlighting your positive, admirable traits. It’s practically a love letter. However, this one isn’t for the paper, so don’t worry about being perceived by others. In fact, he’d be embarrassed if anyone else found out about it. He just wants you to have a reminder of how amazing you are whenever you begin to doubt yourself. He’ll be more lenient about you hanging out in the newspaper room whenever you want. Although he won’t admit it, Mephisto asked Satan for a list of safe foods and drinks he can keep around that you’ll eat, and now there’s always safe food in the newspaper room.

A/N: This one was kind of heavy, so I'll try to pick a more lighthearted request next time. Also, just as a reminder, you can still provide input for what to do to celebrate the 1 year anniversary next month. Check the post "Input request" for more info (under the tag #moss update)

[nblemons]

Tell us about your idea!!

AWAAAGHHG ok so. This is a Somewhat Rough Concept and the characters have no name atm but it goes something like (this ended up way longer than i meant for it to be oops):

The protagonist is a witch, from a famous family known for their very powerful sea magic. In this world, witches come of age around age 14 with a very important ceremony where they get to summon a familiar, with which they will form a very strong bond that helps them focus their magic and control it more easily. This ceremony is also the first step of the Big Important Journey all witches must go on to learn new magic and find their place in the world.

Our witch (whom ill just call Witch for now) is unfortunately a very anxious type and struggles a lot with harnessing her magic. She's unfortunately already failed her summoning ceremony a few times, which means that shes Very Late!! to her magic journey. And coming from such a prestigious family only puts more pressure on her, which messes with the already very weak control she has over her magic.

A few days before the newest attempt at her familiar ceremony, she meets a seagull who claims to be a human who was turned into a bird by a vengeful sea spirit and, having realized that she's a witch, begs for her help in breaking the curse. Witch, tender hearted as she is, wants to help! But, as she explains, curse breaking is advanced magic she can't study yet, as she doesn't have a familiar and is thus not allowed access to the parts of her family's library that would contain information about it.

After Witch finishes explaining her struggles with the ceremony as well, Seagull (placeholder name too)offers a solution: to simply fake a successful summoning, giving the witch access to the information needed to help Seagull, who would in turn help her find a real familiar later on. Witch accepts despite her worries because she's desperate to get this ceremony thing over with and also is kind of a doormat and easily convinced.

Alas, the day of the ceremony Something goes wrong and leads to them being well and truly bonded as master and familiar, with magic so strong and ancient it's generally believed to be impossible to break! And, to Witch's surprise, it turns out that Seagull is not, in fact, a human who was cursed, but rather a sea wind spirit who pissed off a much much stronger spirit and got herself stuck in bird form with no magic.

Seagull is incredibly pissed to be stuck with this doormat of a witch, because her plan was to get into the library, find information on how to break the curse and then ditch the idiot. And instead, here they are, stuck together. But! there is a silver lining: they figure out that through the link, Seagull can use Witch as a sort of battery pack and get access to a fraction of her powers.

They scour the massive library Witch's family owns, and find little to no information about how to break either the curse or the familiar bond, with just a few hints about some Myserious witch who was banished for figuring out how to break their own bond. With that being their only clue, our duo decides to embark on the previously mentioned Big Journey and look for more information.

And so start the adventures of the world's most cringefail sea witch and her mean bossy seagull familiar!

I picture this as like. a cute little adventure game where you have a boat and go from island to island, learning new magic, helping people, and looking for clues about both this banished witch and how to break Seagull's curse. ^_^ Possibly w some bonus uncovering a bigger quest surrounding the myserious witch, who knows. Im not great at coming up w this kind of stuff hsnfnfj

Like i said IDK that it'll ever get anywhere because, as previously mentioned, i'm awful at keeping to projects and also have Absolutely No Knowledge of how video games get made. But it's fun to think about! Daydreaming about cute little pixel sprites for my sillies....

Also here's my current drafts for the sea witch design (still subject to change):

i have a few design notes on her but i need to go to bed rn HDBFNFH

[cemetery77]

helloo! please read!

my name is sylvester, i'm a 16 year old self taught artist. i struggle with social anxiety and agoraphobia to the point where i can barely go take a walk outside without panicking, which obviously makes finding a job extremely difficult for me lol

at this point all of my friends have gotten jobs or some other way of income and tbh i feel pretty left out and guilty for not being able to go out with them to lunch and the mall and stuff without them paying for me, soo while i'm figuring out a proper job i thought it would be a good idea to finally try my hand at commissions :D

i'm having art block rn so i won't really be posting a lot and i'm still setting up everything, but i guess it's smart to put this up early anyway. i'm kinda insecure about my drawings cuz i mainly started art just to draw characters and ocs for myself so i'm only doing headshots or pfp commissions atm

here's an example photo from my carrd! please boost this if you can. if you're interested in commissioning me i'll link my carrd in my bio soon for more info :)

i know i don't really have an important reason to be posting this but any help is still greatly appreciated. uhh anyway don't mind the one billion tags lmao i'm trying so hard

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

i had forgotten about bleeding butterflies part 14!!!! omw to read it right now.

but girl… i was thinking about a drabble 👀 for the ceo fic, namjoon or someone eating y/n out in the kitchen before they leave to an important meeting

DON'T FORGET TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT! I'm a needy writer atm.

So you wanted a drabble and I ended up writing a mini chapter 🤦🏽‍♀️ although I tweaked it a little, I hope you don't mind.

Warnings: smut, jealousy, oral (female receiving), maknaes causing their usual shit.

Namjoon’s head hangs low, his back hunched as he looks at his hands sadly.

“Did someone die?” You ask the room, half seriously half trying to lighten the mood.

The other CEOs look away from you, trying to hide their expressions from the lead CEO but inadvertently from you too.

“Babe what’s wrong?” You ask Namjoon, dropping your things at the door and kneeling beside him so you could see his solemn expression. Worry drummed through your veins as you take it in, you can’t breathe.

“The copying machine died,” he says completely heart broken

You inhale deeply in shock… what? The copying machine you wanted to throw down the stairs on your first day working with them? Finally, it died? Hallelujah! You glance at the other CEOs, finally noticing the amusement in their eyes that they were hiding so as not to offend Namjoon.

Soon you find yourself struggling to hide the same expression, bowing your head to the floor in an attempt to conceal it. You felt terrible for him, you did, he had some sort of weird affection for the bane of everyone’s existence at the company, but honestly you were slightly tempted to work for them again now you knew it was dead. 

“Should we hold a funeral?” Taehyung mutters under his breath to Jimin, audible enough for you all to hear along with the shorter CEO’s snicker. 

Jin gives them a half hearted glare of warning, expecting them to be considerate when Namjoon looked like his whole world came crashing down. 

“It may not mean anything to anyone else,” he sighs. “But it was the first thing I bought for that company.”

“Aww Joonie,” you rub his knee in comfort, pouting up at him with all the sympathy you could muster. It was cute, the way your ex boss and now boyfriend who could command a room with a breath looked so distraught over something so trivial. 

“It’s the sentimental value,” he further explains as if trying to justify his sadness, eyes imploring for you to understand him when the others were ridiculing him. 

“I know Joonbug,” you rise from your crouching position, arms around his neck as you embrace your soft hearted boyfriend as you sit beside him. 

“You know Kitten, I was really sad about it too,” Yoongi says emphatically, drowning his tone in pity. You look at him amused, arms still encircled around Namjoon who decides to bury his head in your neck, shaking your head at his attempts to gain your attention. 

“I bet,” you say, knowing exactly what he was up to. 

“I was really sad about it too,” Jimin tries to play the same game. 

“You just laughed at Hyung’s pain,” Jungkook calls him out, earning an elbow to his side for the comment. 

“Did you have a good day at work, Sunshine?” Hobi asks as Jin sighs at the youngest three, now bickering amongst themselves.

“Mmmm,” you say before yawning, tiredness setting into your bones as you play with Namjoon’s hair. “Had a lot of stuff to catch up with.”

Your eyes narrow at the troublesome trio, it was your first day back at work from the holiday and your managers were not sympathetic to your sick leave at all. All three of them grin back at you with no remorse, slight guilt of course, but no regrets whatsoever. 

“Why is it when you three play your games the rest of us have to deal with the aftermath?” Yoongi grumbles in thought, hating that you were probably overworked today. 

“As if you don’t play any games yourself hyung,” Jimin retorts, personally offended, glaring at him. 

“Games, I might point out, we’ve kept secret for you,” Taehyung’s deep timbre is uncharacteristically serious, annoyance spiking at the accusation. “Despite the fact you rat us out at every opportunity.”

Yoongi looks sheepishly away, unable to defend himself as the others look between the squabbling sides. 

“What secret?” Namjoon suddenly straightens, his interest piqued while both Yoongi and yourself give the 95 line warning glances. 

“Should we all have dinner?” You suddenly suggest while your palms start to sweat. “I’m starving.”

Namjoon looks at you suspiciously while Jin and Hoseok try not to burst out laughing at the unintended innuendo relating to the inside secret the rest of them barring the lead CEO were privy to. You, on the other hand, were trying to act innocent as if your life depended on it. You try to stand but a firm hold on your wrist pulls you back to the sofa. 

“What don’t I know?” Namjoon asks, creases appearing above his brows as he frowns. 

“You guys are dead,” Yoongi mutters seethingly to the duo who look all too proud of themselves, standing with their arms crossed as they watch the aftermath of their revelation pan out. 

Seokjin sighs at the childishness of it all, although he has to admit it is entertaining watching you and Yoongi squirm. 

“Do you remember how we made the rule not to rush anything with Sunshine?” Hoseok says with a toothy grin, earning himself a look of betrayal from his closest friend. 

“And the rule about not messing about at work?” Jin adds, “Well when beautiful was working with us anyway.”

“You mean the rule to be professional that baby girl set herself?” Namjoon’s one eyebrow shoots through the roof as he stares a hole into the side of your face, you however have your eyes to the ceiling trying to find that lost eye brow of his. Maybe it left the room, you should go look for it…

“That exact one, yes,” the oldest confirms with a smirk. 

Was it suddenly getting hot in here? Someone should open a window, you would but there was a serious CEO currently attached to your wrist like a handcuff. 

“What did you both do?” Namjoon asks when neither you or Yoongi elaborate voluntarily. 

“What you always wanted to do,” Jin sympathetically pats Namjoon’s shoulder while the rest of them lose it with laughter. 

“Do you remember the day you went into Yoongi hyung’s office looking for Sunshine but she wasn’t there?” Hoseok looks too pleased with himself as Namjoon nods after a moment of recollection. “She was there…”

Your ears are on fire, how do you always find yourself in this position? Why was it always you!

The man beside you is all too quiet for a moment, and you can feel your throat start to seize at his silence. 

“Where exactly was she?” his voice is gruff, already knowing the answer but asking for confirmation anyway. 

“Under hyung’s desk,” Jimin states bluntly, looking at Yoongi as if he won the war between them. “But what were you doing there angel?” 

You curse him loudly in your head, if looks could kill he’d be dead by both yours and Yoongi’s eyes. 

“Not being a good girl that's for sure,” Taehyung says smiling before the duo start laughing so hard Jimin almost falls to the floor. 

“That’s enough,” Jungkook takes pity on you both, albeit the secret was something he had been a little jealous over for a while. They all put it out of their minds, otherwise it would cause an insecurity in them. 

Yoongi was the only one you broke the rule for, it was a bit hard for them to accept and digest without falling into a rabbit hole.

“And I was the only one who didn’t know?” Namjoon says quietly, making that guilty feeling suddenly fill you to the brim. This was great, first his printer dies and now he finds out he was betrayed by the love of his life and his best friend. All this just after your recent betrayal with the maknaes. 

“Joonie it wasn’t on purpose,” you whine slightly, voice small as you finally look at him.

“Nothing’s on purpose with you,” he mutters, that was always the excuse when one of them dragged you into something. 

“Joon, that's not fair,” Hobi remarks, knowing he was only lashing out because he was hurt. “You know how irresistible we are to sunshine.”

He winks at you, hoping to lighten the atmosphere now that the consequences of their pandoras box was coming to fruit. 

—

He’s not dressed for work yet when he goes down to the kitchen for a morning coffee, halting at the door when he sees you already there and dressed to leave early. His gaze hardens, sleep leaving him completely as he takes you in. 

He strides towards you, power in every step, making your figure press against the kitchen counter at his demeanour. After yesterday's altercation he hid himself in his room and locked the door to clear his thoughts, but he couldn’t, they were plagued by the thought that Min Yoongi got to touch you first, have you first when he thought he was the first one. It was stupid and he knew it but it still caused that vein in his temple to pulse threateningly. 

“Are you still mad at me?” you ask, looking at him timidly as he stood in front of you breaking him out of his tumultuous thoughts. 

He shook his head, eyes penetrating yours with such intensity you were struggling not to squirm. No, if he was honest he wasn’t angry at you at all, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want payback.

“No baby girl,” his voice is gruff, a dangerous smirk playing on his face, “I’m hungry.”

You swallow at the sound of his sexy timbre that never failed to make your knees weak. 

“Oh, umm,” you forget how to breathe, trying to remember as you find your words again. “I could make you some pancakes, or there’s cereal?”

He chuckles under his breath, the aura around him not dampening at all. 

“We’re both going to be late for work today,” he states as matter of fact, the decision already made, looking at you amused before he kneels in front of you, not breaking his stare for a second. Your jaw drops at the sight of him, your body reacting to his position while your brain lags behind. 

That dimple of his was going to be the death of you. 

He pulls the waistband of your work trousers down, kissing the skin just above your hip as he does leaving your panties in place. He’s pleasantly surprised you don’t put up a fight when he removes the trousers completely.

“Any important meetings today?” he asks, his voice low you almost fail to catch it with the way your blood is pumping in your ears at the anticipation of where his lips were going to fall next. To your dismay it's just an inch above where you need him, so close but too far away for you to handle. You shake your head desperately in answer, fuck meetings, who the hell cared when Kim Namjoon was kneeling in front of you like you were something to worship. 

He chuckles again, causing you to whine, fidgeting as you feel your underwear dampen. He finally breaks eye contact with you, looking directly at your heat and that cute little wet patch forming.

“That’s good,” is all he says before the next kiss is placed right where you need him. You’d be embarrassed by how you brace yourself against the counter behind you if the build up didn’t feel so damn good. His hands stroke the sides of your thighs, knowing you were going to struggle to hold yourself up once he started. 

He grins before diving in, sucking you through the fabric, his tongue licking you like he was making out with your lips. 

“Joonie,” you call for him deliciously, whining in complaint at the remaining barrier between you both. It's all too much and nowhere near enough, and yet this dulled sensation made your legs wobble, you were only just managing to hold yourself up with your arms locked on the counter tops. You want to grab his hair, you want to pull the damn underwear off yourself but you know if you move you’ll fall. 

It’s like he can hear your thoughts, or he’s taking pity on you, you don’t know or care. He hoists one leg up onto his broad shoulder, the other hand shifting the fabric to the side as his tongue touches you freely. Your head falls back, eyes shut at the sensation as a moan slips from your open lips, your hips thrusting into him as if you were trying to ride his face.

Namjoon could feel you throb against his mouth, groaning against you at your taste, grinning when he heard you whimper at the sensation. All those fucking rules, for what? When he could’ve had this earlier? He would never forgive himself, or you. He pulls you impossibly closer at the thought, eyes closed in focus as he makes out with your pussy harder, as if he was punishing you for keeping this away from him for so long. 

You can barely hold yourself up, on the brink of crying with how good he was making you feel, you can’t reign in your voice, always more pent up and sensitive in the mornings, your high within reach so quickly, he can tell. 

“Close baby girl?” he says condescendingly without breaking contact from your mound, if he could he’d stay here all day, he wouldn’t move an inch from this position of heaven he was in. 

“Joo-nm p-plea-se don’t stop,” you begged unashamed, gyrating your hips faster against him as if it would get you there quicker before he could take it all away. You knew him, if he really wanted to punish you he would stop you on the edge and you couldn’t let him, you had to cum, your body was screaming for release. The second he pauses you cry out in protest, he pins you in place with his stare, holding your hips from forcing him back on you. 

“As if you wouldn’t run upstairs and ask Yoongi hyung to finish you off,” he scoffs, challenging you to prove him wrong, prove to him that he was just as important, just as good at getting you off. He almost gives in to you at the sight of those tears escaping the corners of your eyes, the groan from your lips as the high you were chasing fades against your wishes. You had to grasp it back, it was so close. 

“Daddy please,” you almost sob in desperation, making all his thoughts go blank at the word. His dick throbbed at the sound, reminding him of the situation in his pants that he was trying hard to ignore for the semblance of control. Gone, out the fucking window, just with one word, the hold you had over him scared him out of his wits. He doesn’t even realise he’s given in until you moan out for him again, lapping at your folds like a starved man, trying to get you there whether you deserved it or not. 

“Ah please, Jooni-” You cry out unbashful, words turning more incoherent the closer you got, almost tasting it. “So good, so close.”

He hums against you as if giving you permission to let go, and you didn’t it was what you were waiting for, tensing as you drown him in your release, his tongue working you as you come down. The slow stroke of his hands on your skin reminds you to breathe, not realising you held it for so long at how hard your orgasm hit you. You pant, trying to force air into your lungs as your brain goes fuzzy. 

He didn’t want to stop, his lips still attached to you although softer than before, the overstimulation so early in the morning was overwhelming, but you couldn’t push him away, not when you were still holding yourself up like your life depended on it. 

“Joon we’re already going to be late,” you huff out as if you were annoyed. “Can you just fuck me already?”

He chuckles at that, finally detaching from you to grin up at you. He was covered in you, and the sight was all it took for you to lose your senses and lean down to kiss him, tasting yourself on him, making a mess but not caring at all. 

“Fuck me please,” you say inbetween kisses.

He’s about to give in, about to speak when you’re both interrupted.

“Not in the kitchen!” Seokjin’s voice yells as he passes by, leaving for the office, the others also on their way out. 

You both look at each other, laughing quietly at being reprimanded. He stands up from being on his knees for so long, no ache visible on his face as his dimples stand out at you. He leans in, arms encasing you where you stood, pressing himself against you so you feel how hard he is. The length of him makes you salivate, all previous humour at the situation gone as you look up at him in hunger. 

His lips encompass yours, no move to leave the room at Jin’s request. He was going to kill you both, but Namjoon was embracing his new philosophy as he rutted against you, tongue shoving though your parted lips like a preview of how he was going to fuck you. He had a new lease on life, fuck the rules.

[usmsgutterson]

Hi! I’m back :] im here to request a platonic!crows x reader kind just want some hurt/comfort I’m feeling pretty bad atm and just don’t do well w asking for comfort?? So could I request a reader who’s just having a bad time,nothing super specific just like feeling Sad more than usual and like being a bit more distant/distracted? If your not up for writing this that’s perfectly fine too :] Have a nice day! -🍒Anon

Come Home- Platonic! crows x reader

Hi! This one is hitting really fuckin close to home right now but selfishly, I could use a good cry and I'm in the same boat as you, so we're all good!

I'm sorry you've not been feeling too great lately and I am sending you hugs and a mug of your preferred hot drink of choice! I also hope you feel better and am sending good vibes your way :)

Fic type- this is hurt/comfort but pretty heavy on the comforting!

Warnings- mentions and depictions of general sadness, mention of lack of sleep/trouble sleeping both generally and due to sadness, mentions of being unable to reach out to people in search of comfort or a place to vent, mentions of being distant (emotionally) and also isolating oneself, a 'there but not there' kind of sadness, mentions of retreating into your own thoughts/mind

The crows couldn't quite say who'd noticed it first amongst them. Nina was pretty sure they'd all noticed it around the same time, could remember the fact that it was a date in the middle of the Spring.

You'd spent a lot of time in your room in the Slat, not really talking to anyone, seemingly both content and somehow discontent in the idea of burrowing into your own thoughts, retreating into your own mind.

When you were with the others, you were distant. It was like you were there but not there all the same, responding to conversations and laughing occasionally, but Nina could see it.

She knew what it looked like to be wrapped up in ones own thoughts, and recognizing it within you was like seeing water in the middle of the ocean; it was about as obvious as the day was long.

Wylan and Jesper and Matthias picked up on that, too, then Inej and Kaz. They'd all picked up on it the same day, and were sitting at a U-shaped booth in the Crow Club to discuss it in the days after they'd noticed.

"They're not the type to ask for help," Matthias noted. "I think they'd rather struggle in silence most days then reach out and vent to someone."

"They don't directly ask to be comforted or seek out things that people would typically find comforting," Inej noted. "I don't think I've ever seen them hug someone or be hugged themselves. They handle their emotions internally, it seems."

"How do we comfort someone who does not want to be comforted?" Matthias asked. "How on earth are we meant to be subtle about it?"

"The rest of us can worry about that," Jesper said. "Matthias, Kaz, don't you worry a hair on your pretty little heads."

"Hugs and arms around shoulders aren't always how it's done," Kaz said. "There are a thousand other ways, Jesper. Comfort doesn't just have to be about physically touching someone."

"Nice gestures," Nina suggested. "I didn't think you had a nice bone in your body. I'm pleased to be wrong in that."

"Pleased to have been underestimated," Kaz said. "Matthias, you're not touch averse. We are not one and the same, so you'll just have to figure it out on your own."

Matthias scoffed, and Kaz spoke the word before he got the chance to whisper it.

"Demjin," Kaz said, taking delight in Matthias' scowl.

"All right," Wylan said. "Our plan is figured out. Find ways to subtly comfort the one of us who needs comforting and just hope they don't notice? How long do we keep that up?"

"Until they notice or they feel better," Nina said. "It's--it's whichever comes first. Stop asking questions. We'll work out the rest of the details as we go along."

Everyone nodded. Whatever qualms anyone else had about the plan went unsaid, and the world around the six of them settled with the knowledge that they were going to help you feel better, even if you never caught on.

If you never noticed, if you thought your mood was brightening naturally, if you never figured it out and never said the profuse thanks that Nina knew you would've, that would've been fine. It would've been great because you were fine again, and in the end, that was all any of them wanted.

-

"Brought you a coffee," Jesper said, passing you the to-go mug as he found you in the Slat. "Kaz and I were in the Harbor. Kaz needed a dose of caffeine and I figured you'd probably done without."

"It's seven and a half bells in the morning. You were on the Harbor to scout before we left, and Kaz found the time for a pit stop?"

"I did things more efficiently then he'd expected," Jesper said with a charming grin. "Had twenty kruge. Grabbed Wylan a tea, gave it to him by the Crow Club. We leave for Ravka in a quarter of an hour, and it'll take us that time to get from here to Inejs berth. Your things are on her boat?"

"Matthias helped me take my things to the boat after Nina had the gall to wake me at five bells and then bribe me with waffles. I felt like a bunny with a carrot being dangled over its head."

Jesper noticed, though, that you were smiling.

"Thank you for the coffee," you said. "Saints, was the sleepy time tea a mistake. Do you know if Kaz has any jurda on him?"

"You've been having trouble sleeping?" Jesper asked. "I mean--he's finnicky with his coffee and the grounds he imports are delayed by two weeks, so he does. He's been keeping an eye on the shipments because the idiot would rather chew his way through a mile and a half of jurda before he listened to his bodys calling for sleep."

"As for the trouble sleeping--yes. It's been a rough few weeks and my sleeping has been impacted a bit. Didn't get much before, but now it's worse. Sleepy time tea has made me sluggish even though I've been awake for two and a half hours now. The box did say that was a risk, though," you said. "As for the jurda, I'm in desperate need."

"Lucky for you, I miscalculated the amount coming in our last shipment. I've been selling it at the Crow Club to keep the pigeons at the tables longer but we've still got a surplus," Kaz said, passing you a small black velvet pouch with jurda inside.

"How long on the boat?" Jesper asked.

"A week and a half, but the boat we've got is slower then the Ferolind, so it might take as long as it took to get to Fjerda."

"Good thing I thought to get books for the trip then," you said, smile prickling the edges of your lips when you noticed Jespers expression of terror. "Wylans bringing his flute, Jes. You'll be fine."

You took a sip of your coffee as Jesper gave a shake of his head.

"You say that I'll be fine, but you'll see. At the end of our first week, I'll be begging Wylan to play something slow so that I'll fall asleep and you can toss me overboard and have me drown in peace."

"You'll manage," Kaz cut in. "You managed the first time around, didn't you?"

"Just barely," Jesper said exasperatedly. The three of you left the Slat, Wylan joining you as he walked out of the Crow Club.

You took another sip of your coffee, sighed as the contentment you'd missed creeped back in just a bit. Things had been terrible for weeks, a general feeling of sadness having wormed its way into your heart and left you feeling like a shell of the person you were. That was the first decent--albeit early--morning you'd had in what felt like forever.

-

Nina and Matthias were sitting on one end of the ship, you and Inej sat together on the other, in the elevated area that was reserved for the captain to keep watch of the boat and manage the wheel.

The only sound to disturb you was the waves, and it didn't disturb you at all as you leaned back in your chair and continued on with your fifth book in a week. It was a book you'd not particularly enjoyed, and a last minute grab. It was a book of sonnets that you'd grabbed on the off chance you'd be in a sonnet-y mood, and thus far, it seemed you were not.

Wylan had begun to play the flute from somewhere near the center of the ship, and as you heard it, you smiled. You looked away from your book for a moment, glancing at Wylan as you closed it, having given up.

Nina couldn't blame you for that as she noticed it, though. It grew boring to read sonnets about the love someone felt for one singular person after you'd read two of them. She had not a single clue as to how you'd managed to read fifty.

You settled simply to observe the world around you instead of reading, thumb idly tapping along to the beat of Wylans tune against the surface of the hardcover book you had in your lap.

She looked at your eyes. She knew what it looked like when a person was distant and she knew what it looked like when, albeit slowly, that person was coming back to the rest of the world.

Come on back, Y/N, she thought. We've missed you. Come back to us.

She caught your grin, caught Jesper rushing up the steps to the captains watching port. She saw him reach for your hand and grab Inejs as well. Wylan started playing a dancing song and everyone on the ship was all smiles.

Even the crew was looking giddy, though their expressions only brightened when Inej signaled for them to take a break for a dance or two.

Hell, even Nina was smiling, having only realized it when she looked at Matthias and saw he was grinning as he squeezed her hand and pulled her up, their laughter coming up naturally as they rushed toward you and Inej and Jesper.

Someone--probably Specht, as he'd unearthed a talent for it in the weeks before--was playing a violin to go along with Wylans flute. You were beaming, and Nina was beaming, and Inej and Matthias and Jesper were all smiles.

Nina caught your gaze. Just a bit more, Y/N, she thought. Come home.

You were laughing as you turned and caught sight of it, Kaz standing to Wylans left, face only slightly turned to the waves so that nobody would see his grin.

You met Ninas gaze, wiped away a tear as she gave a joyous holler.

"Yes!" she shouted. "Yes!"

"Why are you acting like someone has thrown millions of kruge on the deck?" Jesper asked.

They're home, Nina thought. The distant look in their eyes is gone. Maybe not forever, maybe just for now, but it's good enough for me.

"I'm just so happy," she said. "Oh, I love moments like these. I love them with my whole heart. They remind me of home, of dancing with classmates by the tea samovars the minute we heard music."

Inej was hugging you as tightly as she could. "Better?" she asked. "Jesper mentioned it's been a rough time."

"Better than I was, yeah," you said. Inej pulled away and the music dulled, the moment becoming somber.

Wylan joined up, as did Kaz, and you were faced by the six people you loved the most in the entirety of the world. All of them had been trying to comfort you in the two weeks before you'd boarded the boat and in the week since you had. They'd been trying to go for subtility, but you'd noticed, and you appreciated it relentlessly.

"Thank you guys," you said. "For all of it."

"You noticed?" Matthias asked.

"You laughed at my jokes, Matthias. Nina, you offered me your toffees several times. You've never done that before. Kaz has brought me books and given me jurda and let me refuse on jobs wherein I was necessary. He's said that he would find someone else if I couldn't do it and he's said it in a way that wasn't malicious. He's told me a number of times that he understands what it is to be in pain, though he admits his is a different kind. He's given me several passes when the pain was most unbearable," you said.

"Inej has let me exist in the silence and not say a damn thing, she's swayed with me to the music we hear while wandering about in the mostly empty bodegas and boutiques. Wylan has willingly played the flute and the pianoforte around even people he does not feel secure because it might just have made me smile, he's tried to get me laugh so many times in the past month that I have entirely lost count."

"Jesper, you brought me coffee and leant me your Ketterdam uni jumper. You joke more than Wylan does, and your reassurances were near constant. I know you probably didn't want me to notice, but I did. Thank you."

Everyone--excluding Kaz, of course--pulled you into a hug. Nina was more relieved then not that you'd noticed, relieved that you were feeling better than you had three weeks before. She was happy you were okay, happy that you were smiling and that you were going to be okay eventually, even if it took time to get there.

Everyone pulled away eventually, and you gave Kaz a nod. You received a nod in return and knew that it was enough.

Being with your friends on a boat on the way to a job was enough, certainly.