#i've really been liking scribbling to color stuff lately

[seepingfrommyskin]

Forever, Rachel.

Closeups

[radiowallet]

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Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Marcus Moreno Summary: Dieter takes Marcus to a party in the valley. WC: 4.5K Warnings: 18+ MDNI Sexual content. Exclusive M/M dynamics. Written in third-person POV, male protagonists. Anal sex, dirty talk, kissing, cum play, semi-public sex. Small angsty moments. Yearning. So much yearning. AU Marcus Moreno (no wife, no Missy). A lot of purple prose and waxing poetic.

A/N: Hi, hello, it's been a very very long time since I've shared any writing here. I don't have any good excuses other than real-life stressors, mental health and anxiety, and the overall stress of being on Tumblr really really got to me. I'm trying to ease my way back in. Slowly. I've really enjoyed catching up on all the amazing fics you guys have been writing. Thank you to everyone, still here or otherwise. Even when I was off dealing with irl stuff, I could feel the support.

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Marcus chewed at his nail bed, surveying the house from the backseat of his Uber. It was hardly the first time he’d pulled up to the Sherman Oaks home. He was comfortable with the routine at this point. Tapping in the code for the front gate with practiced ease. The same one Dieter had scribbled onto the back page of a forgotten script after that first night together in New York City, his cell ringing incessantly from his back pocket, a car waiting down the curb to whisk him away. Marcus swore he could still taste the mint and menthol on the actor’s breath when he stepped in close and pressed the paper into his hands, kissing him until his toes curled. 

“Please say you’ll come visit.”

After that, it had been one strategically planned visit after the other. Marcus was almost mathematical in his process, arranging flights out west around his patrol schedule, switching shifts, and taking on extra duties just to rationalize the time away. Burning the candle at both ends but not caring even in the slightest, happy to run his tank on empty. He’d drive all fucking night if it meant more time with Dieter. 

So he took to the task with a vigilant level of focus, texting details and arrival times, the actor responding with a barrage of emojis, always ending with a heart. 

Marcus liked the way the little pixelated picture made his stomach flip.

Once together, it became less of a routine and more of a dance, the two of them falling into an easy rhythm that Marcus had no desire to predict. They would lose themselves in each other, wrapping tightly around the other, the heat impossible to turn away from. There were late nights and early mornings, the color of the sun replacing the hours on the clock. Sometimes, he would give up on sleep all together, content to match the actor’s eccentricities, watching Dieter move from room to room, minute to minute, until the other man would return to his arms. 

But as each visit came to a close, Marcus would find himself falling back on easy habits, his mind already making plans and rearranging schedules, focusing on that instead of the overbearing weight of goodbye. 

In the middle of one farewell, Dieter had grinned and nipped at his bottom lip, a tease curling around the curve of his cheek. 

“Don’t worry so much about the vigilante shit, sweet boy. You’re welcome anytime.”

Marcus had frowned at that, but Dieter was unfazed, humming an off-key pop song under his breath before giving one more piece of advice. 

Be spontaneous. 

Marcus had gnawed on those two words the entire plane ride home, the concept both enticing and diabolical at once. He imagined all the ways he would have spoiled Dieter if they lived in the same zip code. Spur of the moment cups of coffee, flowers just because, nights in and out and everything in between. But even those daydreams felt out of reach, Marcus unable to let go of the need to control everything. Everything. Everything that he possibly could. 

Except Deiter Bravo. 

The actor was bound for overseas, a six-month shoot looming ahead, lonely and large. They had spent the weekend before much the same way they had any other. Twisted together, sweat and cum and lips and hands pressed into bare skin, ignoring the ticking of traitorous time. Cruel miles were taking the other man away from him, and Marcus couldn’t stop the swell of jealous fear flaring inside his heart. 

Would he even be missed when the whole luminous, wonderful, exciting world was waiting for Dieter on the other side of the tarmac? 

A deep cough from the front seat dragged him back to the present, and before he could second guess himself again, Marcus climbed out of the car, tapping out five stars with one hand and grabbing his overnight bag with the other. He hesitated, just the smallest moment of debate, before he knocked, three sharp raps on the large black door. There was a shout from inside, Dee’s voice alerting someone he would get it, a breath and a curse as the lock was fiddled with, and then they were standing face to face after only 39 hours apart. 

Dieter seemed shocked to see him and he didn't bother hiding it, his jaw dropping in time with his arms, the shirt he had been buttoning hanging open to reveal his bare chest. Marcus couldn’t help but steal a glance of tan skin and a soft belly, licking his lips in anticipation. When Dee called his attention back up, the other man was smiling wide. 

“This is…”

“A surprise?”

“A great fucking surprise.” 

It was almost a blur after that. Fumbling hands and broken laughter as they came together in a messy kiss. They managed to make it up the stairs and down the hall, Dieter’s bed barely breaking their fall. 

Marcus wanted to take his time, should have been taking his time, but Dieter’s voice was in his ear, thanking him — thanking him? — for showing up tonight. Thanking him and begging him and pressing salt-slicked lips into the curve of his neck. And before he could breathe the other man in, savor the moment that was coming out of nowhere, they stripped away each and every layer, Dieter panting beneath the hurried press of Marcus’s fingers deep inside. 

Sooner rather than later, Marcus was sliding into the other man one final time, their hips flush and their fingers laced. He came with a groan, face buried into the dip of Dieter’s neck, while the actor sunk his teeth into his shoulder, the pleasure burning away into the edges of pain. Only after they both found their breath, bodies pliant and limbs loose, did Marcus find his voice. 

“Do you want to order in?”

Dieter didn’t say anything and Marcus craned his neck up to peek past the other man’s chin and catch a glimpse of him worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“Did you already eat? Because that’s okay.”

“No…,” he started, fingers tracing a line of muscle from the top of his shoulder and back around, lingering along the teeth marks he left there only minutes earlier. “I haven’t eaten. I…there’s this thing I have to….well, not have to. I was getting ready for it when you knocked—“

“Dee?”

“There’s a party,” he finally blurted out, eyes finding the swing of the ceiling fan above, a grimace pulling his lips into a jagged line, a deep shade of pink settling on his cheeks. 

Marcus leaned up on his elbow, watching the small battle of wills dragging across Dieter’s face. He thought maybe he should try to comfort the other man but he was suddenly anxious, those creeping realities working their way up his spine. 

“A party?”

“Yeah, it’s sort of this farewell thing my friends are throwing,” he explained, not needing to. “Really, just an excuse to get blitzed.” 

The lack of eye contact suddenly made much more sense. 

“You wanted to go.”

It wasn’t a question. 

Dieter was up and over him in a flash, one large hand bending around Marcus’s jaw, thumb pressing the seam of his lips shut. “I didn’t want to be alone.” 

Marcus pursed his lips, the pad of Dieter’s thumb still pressing firm. He felt the callous from where Dee cheated his paintbrush, a perfect spot to push a kiss before pulling away. 

“You want to go.”  

Dieter searched his face, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, trying to pull apart the determined set of Marcus’s jaw. When he came up empty-handed, he fell back to his elbows with an exaggerated sigh, one large hand still cupping the cut of the hero’s cheekbone, keeping his thumb close enough to touch. 

“I want to go with you.” 

———————

Marcus smiled from where he was leaning against the doorway, watching Dieter rummage through his ridiculously sized closet, a string of muttered musings leaving him as he pulled item after item off of hangers. The Heroic had slipped back into his jeans and t-shirt once the decision had been made that they would attend the party together, not really packing (or owning) anything that fit the L.A. scene. 

He was two steps towards the bathroom, intent on fixing his messy hair when Dee stopped him with a strong grip on his elbow. 

“Leave it,” he teased, a quick kiss pressed to his lips, fingers tugging at one of the sweat-slicked curls. 

Now he was standing behind him, sliding a stone-washed jean jacket up one arm and then the other, one more kiss, this time gifted to the back of his neck. The jacket hangs a bit loose around him, Marcus guessing a mix between the cut and style, and Dieter’s broader frame both at play. He couldn’t help himself, tugging the collar to his nose and inhaling deeply, the smell of weed and cologne and something subtle sweet filling his lungs. 

He felt Dieter’s eyes, watching him carefully in the reflection of the mirror, his hands finding the dip of his waist beneath the bulky fabric, gripping hard then soft, one, two, three times. Marcus took in the pair of them — sex-mussed hair and bright blush on him, wild eyes, and a teasing smile on Dieter — and he suddenly had no desire to go to this party. Any party. 

No. 

All he wanted was for Dieter to pull this jacket off the same way he had so easily slipped it on, and drag him back down to the safety of the mattress. 

“Come on, sweet boy,” he hummed, the hook of his nose tracing the shell of Marcus’s ear. “Sooner we get there, sooner I get to take you home.”

The word followed Marcus down the stairs and out to the car, his stomach flipping each time he let the meaning of it roll around inside his head.

Home?

———————

Driving in L.A. was an experience in and of itself. Marcus had made his own attempts, managing to find a rhythm in the few times he had been sent out to the west coast on assignment. It wasn’t much different than driving in any other city, as long as you were prepared to sit in what felt like endless hours of traffic. Of course, Marcus had the pleasure of abusing side streets and off-ramps when it came down to emergency situations. 

Driving with Dieter behind the wheel was a different experience altogether. He seemed unfettered by speed limits or traffic lights, one hand on the wheel, the other wrapped around Marcus’s knee, singing along to the song on the radio but only getting about half the words right. If not for his powers and years of honing his reflexes, Marcus would have maybe suggested he do the driving when he was in town. 

As it was, it was nice to settle into the plush leather seat and listen to Dieter’s slightly off-key voice, his hand squeezing Marcus’s knee in time with the beat of the music. He leaned back and closed his eyes, weighing the risk of asking Dieter to just keep driving. Maybe if they kept going, all night and all day, they could avoid the inevitable goodbyes looming in the distance.

———————

The last time Marcus and Dieter had been at a party together, they had only ever heard of each other, recognizing names and faces from newspapers and movie screens. They didn’t know any different than what was said in headlines or plastered on billboards, rumors and hearsay coloring in their opinions of one another. How many assumptions had Marcus made about the actor upon that first meeting? That he was pompous. Self-centered. Selfish. An addict. An asshole. A monster. 

Or maybe Marcus was afraid that was how Dieter saw him. 

The monster in the night. The shadow that lurked in the corner. Fighting away the evils of the world, the palms of his hands so very dirty with blood and secrets and violence. Living in the between of good and bad and never knowing where he really stood.

But when their eyes met across that darkened alley, only the glow of Dieter’s cigarette casting shadows between them, those half-truths and packaged lies that Marcus took for granted started to fall away. Somewhere between their small secrets and one smokey kiss goodnight, he started to learn who Dieter Bravo really was. 

This party was different in so many ways than that first elegant affair. Gone was the light classical music, replaced with something loud, a heavy bass and fast lyrics. Bowls of chips instead of passed trays. Stiff black and white was traded in for soft denim, Dieter’s scent surrounding Marcus from room to room. They entered the party together, no longer separate, no longer strangers, and instead more.

So much more.

Dieter’s arm was wrapped around Marcus’s waist, holding him close by his side as they navigated the packed mansion. The crowd parted around them, little waves of people ebbing and flowing to make room for the two men, boisterous cheers of joy raining down upon them. Dieter preened beneath the attention, his smile wide and his cheeks warm, the hand wrapped around Marcus’s waist squeezing hard to grab the Heroic’s attention. 

“They like to make a fuss,” he hummed into Marcus’s ear. 

He couldn’t help but cock his own grin back, turning his head just enough to brush his lips along the shell of Dieter’s ear, delighting in the shiver that followed. “I think you like the fuss.” 

———————

They get separated about an hour in, an inevitability between the number of people vying for Dieter’s attention and the sheer size of the house. Marcus excused himself to the bathroom, trying and failing not to be annoyed when the first empty one he found was on the opposite end of the party. By the time he made it back to where he left Dieter, the other man had moved, now sitting on a couch, friends and fans alike draped around him. 

There was something strange about watching Dieter Bravo in what some would consider his natural habitat. He was bright and shiny and impossible to look away from. He almost looked relaxed, his arms thrown over the back of the sofa and his legs stretched out long, only the tap tap tap of his heel giving him away.

Marcus wanted to insert himself. To crowd himself beside the other man and press his palm to the bend of his knee in hopes of soothing away the small tremor of anxiety, but he hesitated, his own worries holding him in place. So he stayed where he was, back glued to the wall, arms crossed and frown firm, as he tried to decipher the scene playing out in front of him. 

Was Dieter’s laugh real just then? Or was the one Marcus had teased out of him hours prior? The sounds seemed so similar, a copy of a copy that looked and felt and sounded real. Were his cheeks pink because he preferred their attention over Marcus’s? Or was it because this room was too damn hot? What did it mean when Dieter touched her knee? Or kissed his cheek? Or leaned a little bit more into their touch? 

And why did Marcus care? 

He didn’t consider himself a jealous man. 

But it almost felt inevitable, the dark tendrils of jealousy seemingly always present, ever since that fateful moment in the alleyway, smoke and secrets traded away for unspoken promises for more. Marcus clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes, watching the other man glow beneath the attention of others. Was it merely a reflection back of the attention poured upon him? The mirrors of a disco ball catching in the light and shining for the delight of others? Or was Dieter just enjoying another moment in the limelight? 

Marcus couldn’t seem to see the line between real and fake, or what side he stood on. 

Someone handed him a drink in the midst of his brooding, and the sting of the alcohol paired well with his bitter mood. He was trapped in a hell of his own making, refusing to look away from the crowd gathered around Dieter, but hating every second of it. 

The jealousy burned inside of him. What had just been something dark mingling in the background was now present and in full force. Marcus was jealous. Jealous at how effortlessly Dieter lived his life, able to navigate crowds and fame and fervor without ever breaking a sweat. Jealous at how his smile seemed just as bright as it had when he opened his door hours earlier. Jealous at how someone else held the attention of his sweet brown eyes. 

And suddenly there was fear. Icy cold and horrifying reality. 

Marcus didn’t belong here. Here with these pretty people and their clean lines and bright lights. He was messy edges and dirty hands, stained with years of violence that would never scrub clean. There was dirt on his ledger and red on his chest, and Dieter was beautiful. So very very beautiful.

Another wave of panic gripped tight at Marcus’s throat. 

When was the last time he told Dieter he was beautiful? Yesterday? Or the day before that? Either way, it wasn’t enough. Not nearly. And he couldn’t fathom a world where he lost the chance to say it again. 

He couldn’t lose this. He couldn’t lose him. 

The lights above them flickered, an unwelcome side effect of his superpowers, Marcus’s unruly emotions too much to handle all at once. It was just enough to drag everyone’s attention up, stealing their eyes away from Dieter, but only briefly. The actor caught his gaze in the small interim, brows pinched and lips curved, his sharp mind putting the puzzle together. Marcus blushed beneath the scrutiny, feeling very much like a child caught in the midst of a crime. He slammed the cup down on the nearest surface he could find and shoved his dirty hands in the pockets of Dieter’s jacket, and turned away, the lights flickering one last time as he made a quick and embarrassing exit. 

From behind he could hear the shout of a stranger.

“Hey, Dee where’s your boyfriend headed?”

Marcus was so focused on the fact that someone else called him ‘Dee’ that he missed the way Dieter's eyes lit up at the word boyfriend.

The bathroom he had found earlier was blissfully empty, and he took care to lock the door behind him. He braced himself against the sink, the cool porcelain a balm to the heat of his palms, breathing in and out, sharp and fast, to match the beat of his heart. A knock came seconds later, Dieter’s voice chasing the sound. 

“Let me in, Marcus.”

It didn’t sound like a request.

Marcus unlocked the door with a flick of his wrist, and the actor slipped in, eyes pinning him in place as he locked the door behind him. For a moment both of them refused to speak, 2 feet of space between them, and enough silence to last a lifetime. It was Dieter who finally broke the tension, stepping forward until Marcus was within his reach, the palm of his hand cupping his cheek to keep him close.

“Flattered as I am, I can’t decide if I like jealous on you or not.” 

Marcus knew it was foolish to lie at this point. If his fucking superpowers hadn’t given him away, then storming off surely had, and any denial would have rung hollow. Besides, they had promised. Months ago, in an opulent hotel room, cum and sweat sticking them together. They promised to always be honest with each other. 

“I don’t belong here, Dee.”

“Shut up.” The sentiment came out as a tease, the tip of Dieter’s thumb tracing the stubble along Marcus’s cheek, but the look on his face was serious. 

Marcus shook his head, unsure how to say what had seemed so clear to him only minutes ago. “I’m not…I’m not g–”

“I swear to fucking all, if you say the word ‘good,’ Moreno.”

His mouth clamped shut, and he smiled for the first time since he left Dieter’s side earlier in the night. The other man yanked him in for a quick kiss, only pulling a breath away when he spoke again.

“You are better than all of us, sweet boy. Please tell me you know that?”

Marcus wanted to shake his head in disagreement, the very idea that Dieter saw the good in him too much to bear, but the actor was already kissing him again, lips slanting sweetly along his own. When they broke apart for the second time, Dieter said it again, and then again, each time pairing a kiss with his words. Marcus thought maybe he would have kissed him a hundred times and then a hundred more, praise and adoration passed between them until the inevitable end of time caught up. 

But then Dieter crowded in closer, kissing him with much more fervor, his intent clear. Hands scrambled as belts were tugged free and pants were pulled down, bodies twisting until Marcus was plastered to Dieter’s back. He slipped inside the broader man easily, still slick with his release from earlier. Dieter whined at the stretch, pressing back into Marcus, fingers curling around the edge of the bathroom counter as he began to beg. 

“Hard, baby. Please.”

Marcus nipped at Dieter’s ear, refusing to move, the entire length of him buried to the hilt inside him. “How hard?” 

“Hard,” Dieter begged again, squirming in Marcus’s tight grip. “Hard as you can. Need to feel you. F-feel so good.”

It was an intoxicating rush, reducing Dieter Bravo to stumbling pleas and wanton moans, and Marcus swore as long as he was able to pull air into his lungs he refused to take that feeling for granted. He pressed a soft kiss to Dieter’s skin and gently nudged his nose to the back of his head, coaxing his gaze up to meet Marcus’s in the mirror. 

He dragged his hand up Dieter’s chest, stopping to feel the steady thump of his heart, one, two, three beats, before moving up to wrap his fingers around the other man’s throat. He whined again, writhing to and fro, the sound more pitiful with each passing second that Marcus refused to move. 

“I’ve got you, mi cielo. I’ve got you,” he hummed the promise, pressing another kiss to Dieter’s sweat-damp curls. He squeezed the actor’s throat again, watching as his cock seemed to pulse in time with the action. He bit back his own groan, his own cock painfully hard where he was buried inside the other man. 

“M-marcus…please…”

When he finally moved, it was slow, almost torturous for the both of them, but Marcus refused to be rushed. Not this time. Fuck any and everyone who dared to knock on that door. That dared to interrupt them. That dared to break between this moment. He pulled the other man closer, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other still gripping tight to his throat. Dieter’s hands were still scrambling, designer soaps and over-priced products falling to the floor as he seeked some sort of leverage. He finally found it, stonewashed denim bunching between his fingers as he dug them into Marcus’s forearms.

And only then did Marcus give into his request, snapping his hips as hard as he could, teeth sinking into the curve of Dieter’s neck. There would be bruises, bad ones, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, too overwhelmed at the thought of marking the other man as his own. Dieter didn’t seem to mind either, begging Marcus again and again to give him everything he had. 

“Want to feel it,” he sobbed, the pleasure just on the other side of pain. “Want to feel you when I’m gone. Please.” 

“You will, baby. I promise,” Marcus growled. “You’ll feel me for days. You won’t forget me. P-please… don’t forget me.” 

The admission fell out of Marcus before he could stop it, along with his own broken sobs to match. The pain and tears burst to life, the broken pieces he had hidden all over his body finding new life as he begged Dieter to take it all with him. Each slam of his hips and bruising touch of his hands. Every bite from his teeth and kiss from his lips. The words and the promises and the things neither of them knew how to say but felt all the same. 

“Take me with you, Dee. Please, take me with you.” 

“I will, sweet boy,” he gasped, his body shaking beneath Marcus’s anguished hands. “Sweet boy. Good boy. I promise.”  

Dieter came first, though Marcus wasn’t sure how, his sobs and sighs of pleasure long past any sort of coherence. His cock twitched and pulsed, coming completely untouched. Marcus watched Dieter’s face break apart in the reflection of the mirror, his brown eyes wild and skin flushed, lips parting around a feral scream. 

Marcus fell apart in kind, sparks of heat bursting at the base of his spine as tight velvet squeezed around him, Dieter’s voice in his ear, his jacket sticking to his skin. He spilled inside the other man, tears and spit and snot pressed into Dieter’s neck, little words of praise coaxing him through the brunt of it. Eventually, the tears turned to laughter, the two of them clinging tighter as they made guesses at how many people heard them.

“Either way, I hope they enjoyed the show because I sure did,” Dieter teased, nipping his teeth on the hinge of Marcus’s jaw. 

They did a piss poor job of cleaning up, Dee’s cum barely wiped clean from the porcelain with a towel found below the counter, too high a thread count for something so filthy but neither man really gave two shits to look for an alternative. The products were tossed haphazardly into the sink, the idea of stacking them neatly ridiculous. They both agreed; you get what you ask for when you throw a party in the valley. 

Marcus took better care when it came time to clean Dieter up. He warmed up the water from the sink as best he could, using that same fancy towel from before to wipe up the trickle of cum slipping slowly down his backside. He couldn’t stop from stealing one small indulgence, using his thumb to press some of himself back inside the other man, Dieter’s legs visibly shaking from the sudden stimulation. Marcus shushed him with a soft kiss to one of the many bite marks littered across his neck, humming out a quiet apology.

“Do they hurt?”

“They do,” Dieter grinned, tilting his chin to admire the marks as he tugged his jeans up over the swell of his ass. “I’m gonna need a few more before I get on that plane tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmmm, definitely.” 

Dieter pressed something hard into Marcus’s hand and when he looked down he could see it was his car keys, the silver teeth catching in the light. 

“Take me home, sweet boy. I have plans for you.”

There was that word again, breathed out so easily, like a promise he knew he would keep. 

Home. 

[circuscountdowns]

Hi! Wanted to start off by saying that I LOVE your cotl art its such a huge inspiration to me :D! I recently picked up drawing again and I've unfortunately been upset? envious?! of others' skills and just wanted to ask if you ever experienced this as a fellow artist and if so how do you not do that lol. Sorry for the weird question. I just thought some insight and advice from a fellow artist could helo. BUT I hope you still have a nice day and look forward to any more cotl art or anything you draw really :D!!! (also is okay if you don't answer it is a loaded question I just be in a silly goofy mood lately okay bye!)

oh wow being on the receiving end of a question like this is surreal, I’m honored my work inspires you! Thank u, you’re sweet, it’s not a loaded question at all! Here’s my long reply sorry

so unfortunately that comparing yourself to others thing doesn’t go away ever asdfgjkl. I suffer it every day, it sucks, feels bad. I’ve had industry people tell me they feel this way and they’ll have some of the most gorgeous visdev/boards/animation I’ve ever seen. Disheartening to hear, But! I’m a big believer that comparing your artworks with others is best used as a tool and not a punishment to yourself!

When looking at art you like, try to turn thoughts of, “Man I wish my stuff looked like that, my shit sucks,” to, “What is it that I like about this piece? The line art? The perspective?” Sometimes I’ll see work with thin line art and I’ll get an itch, and I’ll draw something with thin line art. It’s a conscious effort of keepin emotion out of that itch, keeping it as, “I saw art with thin lines, I want to do that. Yay I did that!” Compartmentalize it, the itch was simply to do thin line work, not to remake the piece you were inspired by. And you got a piece of art out of it, and a single piece is progress no matter how small!

If you want to compare, do it methodically! Why does my work look different (never use the words better or worse)! Oh, I see my piece doesn’t follow the rule of thirds, so the framing is different, I’ll be aware of that next time if it bothers me. Or, Oh I see they shade by hatching along with the form, I’ve just been going horizontally, I’ll try that other way!

it’s a learning curve of training yourself, like all corrective behavior.

like, I kinda have the warning feeling of dread when I’m about to compare my work with something, so before the self-deprecating thought can even start I have to think What do I Like about this?

I’m no expert at it, though. Actually getting myself to think this way is a struggle, but I find when I make Thoughtful Observations I level up. Not by a lot most times, but yknow.

and this part is just my personal experience:

Fanart and the internet can be the biggest Art skill killer sometimes. Get offline and cater to the audience that Really matters to your passion: You! I improved the most by spending 2-3 years doing doodles/comics/models for my dnd campaign ocs because I was that obsessed and I simply wanted to have it for me!

and after all that, then there’s the hardest skill of just accepting your work as is.

like, to me, my work is just scribbles. I see other artists’ stuff and go “Man they’re so good at comics and colors, man, why can’t I color?” But do I need to??? I don’t like coloring, do I need to be good at it? This isn’t a career, this is supposed to be fun! I scribble because I like it! I’m glad this persons good at coloring, I don’t need to be! Yay!

if I Want to be good at it, I’ll take the steps to get there! But if not, my scribbles are just fine :) I love black and white and values

I’ve been having that one on repeat for a while. It helps

(acceptance and denial go hand in hand btw lol they sound the same)

I wish there was a little off button for envy, but ah well! I hope that you take comfort in knowing we are all feeling it, and find joy in even the smallest little doodle you make! Have fun stay goofy!

[orion-lacroix]

Thank you @cb-writes-stuff for the tag sorry it took me so long to do the tag game this is going to be colorful because I wanted to tell the question apart from the answer

Writeblr questionaire:

How long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I don't know, I created it this year, but before that I had a random Tumblr account but I'm not really a social media kind of person so I generally forget to interact (sorry!!!!!)

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

If I don't interact much or talk much it's not on purpose, I just kinda forget I need to answer or get to anxious to talk and start a discussion.

What’s your favorite thing about the writeblr community?

How it's kinda expanding my social circle. Not sure if it make sense but like mutuals of mutuals will become mutuals woth me and I'll start interacting with more people and I like that!

Which wips or writing projects have you been noodling about lately?

Honestly there are many. First there is Avalon's Child, set in the same universe as The Dead sea and a third project still unamed and not planned more that the general idea, then there is the hare and the fox shall dance, and finally there are the ones that I've put on hold a little until I get more inspiration and idead and motivation. (The protectors, Can I save you? And Forgive me)

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Well for some it's spite (I want to write queer stories that do not end with the death of the queer character, writing queer character in spite of what some will say) for other the story just kind of popped up in my head and has me in a choke hold until I write it ahah.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

More short stories or projects! I like learning more about what other people write about!

Name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your rear; whomever you’d like

I would say, in the original abomination category it would be Rain, a faune (made up species) which come from the project the protectors, they are just basically Gen z on drugs, from a species that has no gender, all the faune are agender. They are well... lets say very stubborn in protecting nature, even if they have to fight a giant dragon with nothing but their teeth (they did, and lived).

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

All day, every day. I'm at work sometime and I will use an old receipt to scribble notes that I thought about so I don't forget.

Who's the most unhinged?

I would say either Rain from the protectors or Atlas from Avalon's child. One fought a dragon woth nothing the other fought two gods and killed them.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

I would say either Ry (Atlas friend) or Gideon. Both are young, just turned adult or nearly adult but I can relate to the way they think, unlike Atlas who's in their twenties which is harder for me to write.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Not really.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree?

I lost control the moment I started to think too much about their personality. They write themselves entirely even if I'm not writing.

Are some less cooperative than others?

Well I would say Atlas is somehow the worst one because I spent so lonng thinking about their personality that they just sort of do their thing and i just gotta chamge the story accordingly.

When someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Depends on who? If I like the person I might explain a lot, if not I'll just say like fantasy, sci-fi, paranormal, whatever genre it is and say the general idea like 《young adult thrown in a world of magic and they fight to belong》

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

Yesss please do!

and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Anything, if you have a question go ahead! Ask are fine, tags are fine and comments and reblogs are fine as well. It might sometime take me time to answer but I will try to answer!

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

Vibes ahaha, if I see something interesting I'll follow! I don't often check out blogs before following if the post I saw was cool

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Yes and no, depends on the day, my dash and many things but I try to interact with as many people as I can!

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Yes a lot!

I'll tag @halfbakedspuds @thylocalbard @stew-magnetos-version @agirlandherquill but no pressure

[theoneandonlylu]

I made the sketch for this a while ago, but then I let it sit for a while cause I didn't exactly know how I wanted to finish it. I could just slap some messy scribbly color on it as is, but I had stuff on the backside of both pages and my markers would've bled right through and wrecked that stuff. It also felt important enough to do a full render with clean lineart and smooth color, but idk lately full renders like that have felt kinda daunting and not as fun as it used to be. (Also my marker paper wasn't the right size and it would've ruined the composition lol) I think somewhere along the way, all that cleanness and smoothness sort of turned into perfectionism, which really goes against my whole personality and attitude about literally everything else lmao. I've never been a neat and organized and perfectionistic person EVER. But this messy colored sketching thing is really fun the whole way through. Sketching was always my favorite part of the process anyway. SOOOOO what I ended up doing with this was copying my sketch onto some tracing paper, and then transferring it onto a different page that didn't have stuff on the back or the page and then colored that. Plus that means I still have the original uncolored sketch in case I want to rework it later. I'd thought this might make a nice wrap-around cover if The Watcher was a physical book - you could fold it in half and slap a title over Grzzt's head haha. I'm lowkey rambling now so ANYWAYS, hope ya like it!

[dicevires]

ive suddenly fallen in love w ur heracross gijinka naotora... r u willing to draw more of her 🥺🥺

HI 😭😭😭😭 IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I just want you to know that this made me so, so, so happy when I first read it; I don't usually get a lot of interest in my OC or PKG art, I was really happy to receive this kind of message 🥺  I wanted to respond with proper art but I've been so busy & kind of forced my PKG brainworm into hibernation so I could focus on more important stuff 😭 I don't know if you're still here or you'll see this, but sorry for taking so long to reply!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me, it truly made my day 😊 I feel like maybe you wanted more um... comic stuff that shows her personality & interactions 🙈 I was hoping to get a Mega Evo design down for her & then the second one; i was just color blotching with a different grip on my pen (trying to fix so it doesn't put as much strain on my fingers).. I will prob delete later in the year because they're just scribbles, but just in case Anon saw I wanted to put it out there for now ;;;; TL;DR TYSM FOR THE WONDERFUL MESSAGE I will draw more of her!!!! 💙 (eventually) ((i promise...))

Naotora

[darlingdawnauryn]

The Most Important Tools in My Practice

obligatory disclaimer: You do not need any of this stuff to be able to call yourself a witch. If meditation and visualization work for you, or if they're the only things you're able to work with, your practice is no less valid than mine or anyone else's; I just find it more rewarding (and a lot less energetically taxing) to have something anchor me to the physical and keep me grounded as well.

(I do highly recommend a notebook, though. There've been a few times where I haven't written down the ingredients used in a spell and I paid for it later!)

journals. I have a book of shadows and a homemade junk journal to record my sigils and hypersigils. I also keep a record of my dream- and shadow works in my personal journal and have a commonplace book where I record quotes, theories, etc that keep me close to my practice, among other things. Aside from that, writing has always been a key component of finding the magick in the mundane, even when I didn't know to call it that. I'm a full-time writer whether I want to be or not, spending at least an hour a day scribbling down anything from magickal stuff to creative writing projects to notes on whatever book I'm reading. It helps me keep a clear(er) head, which can be beneficial to anyone, practitioner or not. (I also use different colored pens to keep everything organized!)

tiny hair elastics. Braid magick is quick and easy, and it's saved my butt a few times. For those unfamiliar, you braid your hair the way you normally do, but with every time you cross a strand over, you repeat an affirmation: "Everything comes to me easily and effortlessly," or "The only emotions I feel are my own." Since my hair isn't long enough to do one big braid, I substitute little ones and use elastics to bring color magick into the mix and really hammer the point home: yellow for joy, green for abundance or grounding, pink for self love, etc. Tying your hair off keeps the intention locked in and close to you until you're ready to release/undo it.

veils. There are many reasons a witch may choose to veil their hair. Straightening up around the house is one of my devotional acts to Hestia, so I do it then, and I also seldom leave the house without one; it keeps me from picking up outside energy that doesn't belong to me, and it's also a reminder of my devotion to my Craft -- kind of like a nun wearing a habit, if you like. And they don't have to be fancy! My most worn veil is a bandana I bought from Claire's, and the other ones I have are scarves I got from Dollar Tree.

devotional jewelry. I have a snake ring that I wear in honor of Lucifer and an obsidian choker that I only take off when I shower. I wear it both for psychic protection and vivid/symbolic dreams and charge it under the new moon whenever I feel it needs it.

herbs and candles. I use both equally for spellwork as well as ambience; I'll light a candle of a specific scent for a specific desired outcome or to shout out a deity, which I can also do with a simmer pot. I also dress candles with herbs if I want to include my own personal touch (which is more often than not). Carving them is also important to me, not only to emphasize intention, but also to put the craft in witchcraft; this simple act makes me feel like a kid again in a way that is unattached to nostalgia, which is an important part of the practice for me. (I've been using my aunt's mortar and pestle lately as well, and I'm going to get one for myself as soon as I have the means! It's great for adding a lot of my own energy and intention into a spell.)

Bonus! Tools I haven't used yet but want to: a pendulum and pendulum board (both homemade!) to acquaint myself with local spirits, and a white chord/string/shoelace/etc for quick and versatile knot magick on the go.

[tamelee]

hi! I really enjoy your art, it has a very unique touch to it that I really like. do you sell prints of your art anywhere?

I've never been much of an artist myself, but lately I've been feeling like I would really like to try and learn how to draw. I know it takes a LOT of practise and that some have a more natural touch to it than others, but do you have any tips for a beginner? where should I start? I have tried reference pics and stuff like that but I never seem to get them right. how can I keep myself motivated when nothing I try turns out the way I imagine it?

sorry if you've already answered something similar to this, I would love to read that too. sending you good vibes and many thanks in advance ✨

Aaaahh thankyou so much! 💕 I don't yet but will soon I'll update on that 🎉🫶

Absolutely!

And wow that's great to hear! I'm really excited for you honestly because it's really fun :3 Well, my ways have always been a little unconventional but most teachers would tell you to pick up a pen and paper and.. just start drawing/doodling with whatever reference you have. Or if you have a pen tablet already, explore the program you're working with. Any kinds of brushes, try them out, try functions the program has- see what it does, make it a fun experience because you can't make any mistakes. It isn't something you have to deliver to anyone, this is practice and this is for you. Put on some music or watch a show on the side that's easy to follow (not one you have to pay close attention to) and just scribble away. You can use an extra program like 'Pureref' (which is free!) that allows you to drag in any references you need on top of your drawing-program or create an extra window where you can drag in any images and rearrange everything just the way you like it, like this:

And then let's try a Sasuke sketch in that pose upper-left corner.

I usually flood the document with a bunch of references in case I need it. (It's always more than I need but I hoard my files a lot 😂.. I think it's a fear of it not being enough "just in case"- but it's okay.) When I'm coloring a sketch, I think of colors beforehand but it kinda depends on my mood. Most of the time I don't bother until I get to the lighting stage. If you feel like you don't really got the hang of using a pen-tablet yet, there is a good tutorial with exercises here. And don't worry at all!!! Because it'll get much easier and easier overtime, just please take care of your hands and stretch gently always. Remember it is never supposed to hurt.

Honestly the way to improve fast with art is... just get obsessed over something 😂 and draw that. Find something you like and enjoy drawing it at least from my understanding that is what happened to many people. For me it's.. well.. If you want to get inspired, go to places, preferably professional spaces and make a board with art in styles you really like. (Or a folder for example!)

This way you can use references to make something and it's a good start/practice ^^! At least it was very helpful for me! If you feel like nothing turns out the way you imagine it, then don't worry about it please.. creating something involves so many steps it is nearly impossible.. or it is impossible actually to have something turn out exactly as you imagine it beforehand. It is more important that the end-result is something that is satisfying which has more to do with the actual process itself. And I know that is not something you might want to hear now but I guess you'd have to experience it? At least for me, every new art I make involves something along the lines of "oh I kinda liked that" or "ew, no, nope, no, not doing that ever again" it's a constant process. Here are some helpful video's for beginners because I think visual inspiration would be more beneficial for you than just a bunch of text from me!

5 FIRST STEPS TO LEARN TO DRAW

HOW TO DRAW SIMPLE FACES

HOW I STUDY DRAWING

Advice for Starting your Art Journey

Extra (not necessarily for beginners):

Why BELIEF Is More Important Than TALENT

How I Reduce TOXIC Perfection As An Artist (Best Drawing Exercise TO Do)

What to do If you aren't Improving

Why it takes so long to get good at art

I hope any of this is helpful to you and I hope you have a nice day 🌷💕! Happy drawing!

[leggyre]

You got any adivce for someone who's considering dropping drawing completely since they don't like what they're making at all?

honestly i've been in the same struggle recently bc it just hasn't been a good year for me. i haven't been drawing a lot bc most of the time i'm either sick or i just.. can't. I've been picking myself up as of late and it's a really difficult grind, but honestly the fact i've been able to actually start this grind is already good for now. I guess that counts as advice; be patient with yourself. Self-esteem doesn't come easy and the little steps are worth so much more than you think.

ok so uh,

-if you just started, don't think about it too much. we all start with the weird scribbles. if you stop now you might never get back to it -if you've been trying to doodle often and always end up hating the result, just take a break. art block is seasoning for burnout and you might just be tired. a lot of times i've felt bad about my art i kinda "gave up" for a while and when i came back to it it was like "wtf this easy what was my issue (it was burnout)". so take a break, play some videogames or hang out with your friends for a week. idk write essays about the media you like? it feels like you're being unproductive but resting IS part of productive because just pushing yourself will just result in nothing being done at the end of the day. -look at your favorite work! im not quite out of my latest artblock yet because its a tough one(it's been teaming up with depression caused by health problems it suuuuucks :/), but when i went long enough without being able to draw I kinda started feeling like I can't do shit and can't call myself an illustrator at all specially bc what i do isnt that big of a deal compared to others(<- comparison also big mistake remember youre the only one who can make YOUR art), going through my folders and seeing the stuff I like the most gave me a LOT of motivation to keep going, even if I was still unable to start drawing right away. not giving up is so important. -so yeah love your art. focus on drawing things you like because it's a gift from you to you, and you should treat it as such. i know it's really hard to be positive about it all the time but it can be really good to go through all your artwork at the end of a day and look at the things you like about it, even if it isn't much. -on that note, find something you really like drawing!!! back in high school i had massive periods of depression that kept me from drawing but i occasionally found sort of a 'life hack' for myself which were things i was always able to work with even during the worst times. one of them was just.. bees. i just doodled random characters as these bees and made og designs too and it was fun. the other one was using colored pencils instead of a regular one bc i just like colors and it made me happy :] it didnt matter that they always had the same overall shape or if i couldnt erase when i messed up, i was just feeling good being able to draw something that i liked. -experiment more!! expand your palettes and download some new brushes. i even change from my newest to my old busted tablet that still sorta works occasionally because using a tool that feels different is.. refreshing somehow? idk -when you need to get yourself back up, do the little steps at your own pace. do a little doodle every day. it's okay if it's always the same thing. the same character. the exact same idea. it's okay if it sucks or if it's unfinished because you struggled. Just give it little pushes. What matters is to try. and it's okay if you can't do it every day. maybe every other day if you need a slower pace. -and remember. engagement doesn't measure your skill. art is subjective anyways!!!!! i spent YEARS doodling and posting only my ocs and getting little to no notes. i think one of my favorite artworks from the time i had ~100 followers had like 0 notes for the longest time. to be honest i don't even know if it has any likes at all nowadays i'd have to look it up bc it's a bit buried

[jayjamjary]

6/10/14/79/95/97 for the unusual asks ask game

6.) Describe your personality it 3 words or less.

(Most difficult question known to man /hj) Analytical creative freak?

10.) How would you describe your style?

My fashion style is comprised mostly of baggy stuff for comfort reasons but I also do like the shape to brings to the table most of the time. I lean masculine most days (once again for comfort) but I do dress fem sometimes, just less so recently. I loveeeee turtle necks and button up and cargo pants. I tend to tuck my shirt in my pants and I almost always have a wallet chain though more for fidgeting than style. Most of my outfits have black bases and then one or two colors though sometimes I like a yummy mix of slightly muted colors. I wear a lot of things with bones and also a lot of things with <3 hearts. I am a silly earrings connoisseur and have been enjoying beaded bracelets lately. I almost exclusively wear boots and sometimes they are platforms. I like graphic tees and will wear them sometimes with a fun button up or hoodie. I haven't been wearing skirts lately because I've realized two of three of them aren't long enough to cover my ass in the back to a degree I'm comfortable with. The other is a maxi skirt but the zipper on the size is broken >:/

My drawing style leans more realistic and I try to capture a wide variety of facial shapes and body types in it since I mostly draw people. I like fun lighting and either do scribble or paint-y rendering.

14.) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?

Ahhh hard question. I really like the rainforest in the islands of southern Alaska where my grandpa used to live but A.) I only like them in the summer and B.) I'm pretty sure Alaska is a more conservative state. I loveeeeeee tropical islands for all the pretty pants and the oceans and stuff and once I get used to it I don't really mind the heat but also tourists :/ oh also new problem of not being able to wear layers. I didn't care about that when I lived in the tropics as a kid but I do now. I like living in a place with a prominent queer community which I enjoy with Pittsburgh but I do not like living in the suburban sprawl. I want to live somewhere with a lot of cool plants and gay people and either in the city or a rural area. I do not know where that would be.

79.) Do you believe in ghosts?

No, I don't believe in anything supernatural and I'm an atheist. I don't believe in stuff that's not definitely real. Faith has never been for me. I do like to pretend to talk to God/gods though. I compliment them on the clouds and thank them when I'm running late and the traffic isn't bad. I treat them like I'm their blorbo OC. Kinda off topic for a questions about ghosts I guess but as somebody who believes in none of that, they are related to me.

95.) Summer or winter?

I like summer. I tend to get sadder in the winter. The lovely weather around Pittsburgh probably doesn't help. Clouds and clouds and more clouds and then some clouds. I do like the indoor coziness of winter though.

97.) Dark, milk, or white chocolate?

I'm very picky with chocolate. Dark chocolate is gross but I'll eat it if I'm bored. White chocolate upsets my stomach. Milk chocolate is okay but I prefer to have it with something like in a candy bar or something. So milk ig.

[confusion-x-central]

A Not So Little Rant (bc im losing my mind again..sorry)

Ummm I think I'm feeling a lot of self-hatred right now. And like this isn't my first thought like this. A short while ago I realized that I hate myself so much now that even my skin color is causing me distress. I've never had a problem with my racial ethnicity or my skin color before. It was always just sort of a fact of my life and I never felt and shame or anything towards it. In fact, a lot of times I really likes my skin and how it looked. But recently I've just hated…everything… about myself. Including the color of my skin. I'm feeling that especially strongly now. I was scrolling through Pinterest and I saw all these cool, pretty pictures of white girls. Blonde white girls, Dark haired white girls, skinny white girls, thick white girls. It didn't matter what features they had, they were prettier than me bc they were white. Or maybe pale is a better word. I thought the Asian girls were prettier than me too. This time I didn't just hate my skin and that was it and I was a little dumbfounded and upset. This time I wanted to physically express that hatred. By destroying a doll that looked like me or scribbling all over a picture of myself or a character that looked like me. Something like that. Not harm to my actual physical body bc I've actually been hating my sh scars lately too. I've never really been ashamed of those either. I hid them when they were fresh to avoid people's concerns and questions, but once my scars healed I didn't have a problem with them. At least not before. But I'm ashamed of them now. They feel ugly. Hideous. Like this huge beacon all over me that screams at people that I'm not good enough. I'm disgusted with myself on every level. I feel like every aspect of my appearance and my personality make me a deplorable outcast! I feel..othered..you know? I can't help but wonder if this new sort of self-hatred is because of the sexting stuff I was doing. I didn't really think it would have that big if an effect on how I viewed myself. It's just.. I feel..traumatized. I feel like a victim of sexual abuse. But, like, I did all that myself. I don't think I can traumatize myself through sexual self-abuse..can I? I mean, I certainly feel like I did, but I'm just not sure how valid a thing that is, you know? And, plus, I don't even know what fucked up part of my brain made me wanna do that stuff anyways. I watched a tarot reading and it said I did it because I didn't get enough attention from my parents, which tracks I guess, but I feel like sexually degrading myself is an overreaction to not getting enough attention growing up. Also, something I've been holding back, I really fucking hate the way I'm writing! It's just - I can hear myself in the way I write and I fucking hate who I am right now so it's fucking me up honestly! I just wish I could run away or explode and become an entirely different person. WTF!

[luwupercal]

hello im doin GM work today so please enjoy a wip dump. just a random assortment of art and writing, in case i dont end up finishing some of these. perhaps a general smorgasbord of stuff you might see on this blog in the coming times idk

ft ferrus, furries, & some AUs (liyan + next of kin + primarch errant)

& some notes on these

that's a tasmanian devil and also a primarch. it was supposed to be poll propaganda but i fell asleep lmao

i hate the brush i started this with at the moment so it's slow going but i'm in too deep to change brushes. but! i promised this art so it's happening

i traced ahrimans helmet sorry. i can't draw that

Liyan my baby son... well guilliman's technically lol. i've been thinking about him again lately <3 ive posted this wip before actually so idk if ill finish finish it, we'll see

a peek into my obsidian writing vault! ft. tnok au. the multiple hearts emoji indicates that specific drabble is unfinished. as u can see i jumped the gun a little and scribbled a drabble way later down the posting pipeline lmaoooo. & now that i'm free from that creative deadline i was under for half of april i'm also working finally on that primarch errant lore dump thing/cringe compilation!

a wip crop from "Grapple" - the sun used to set at 8pm when i wrote that line and now it's setting at 6 so you can imagine how it's going

a wip crop from "Whisper" - y'see, magnus has a really colorful wardrobe <3

a wip crop from "Berate" - guess who lorgar's talking to by going through the list of potential candidates and picking one of the three most concerning people lorgar could be talking to atm!

all of these wips are like. everything about them might change so dont take them as final stuff lololol, we'll see how they go. but ya i was extremely busy for 2 weeks bc i had a big timed project and now that it's done i'm gettin back into the swing of things!

[mlynar-nearl]

heyup its anon back from that hell we call life and im just here to ask one very important question i have been stuck on for a while now: what is a good valentines day gift that isnt flowers (horrifyingly expensive) or chocolate (i just dont like them) ? answer however the hell you like man i ran out of people to ask

and yeaaaaah your reply to my prev ask totally reminded me why i dont care too much about the ak community actually its cos i dont wanna be in drama (unlike in genshin)

oh and get this, i was rushing lantern rite the other day (did it in 3 hours hehe) and using my nonexistent primos i won my 50/50 and got the big booba man like hell yeah now all i have left is kaveh (my beloved) and yes. maybe i will go back to genshin. if you play in asia i can drop my uid but im pretty sure ur a north america kinda person so like probs not

anyways didnt answer ur prev prev reply to one of my asks but like yeah they shlda made more people darker skinned in sumeru :/ kinda iffy that they aint ykyk like i live in southeast asia and my skins still darker than everyone in the cast lmao (okay maybe not everyone id say im on par w xinyan?) and it suuuuuuuucks but oh well mhy is just (insert thumbs down) anyways hope ur doing well lol u can throw in updates abt ur ocs too i havent had time to be on tumblr much lately thankiessssss

do NOT apologize lmao i love talking

imo, the best valentine's gift is one that's not too extravagant but a little personal. gift card to a store/place they like or somethin'. maybe i'm broke but i don't really do v-day even tho i'm in a relationship LMAO

i don't mind the ak community very much in terms of seeing cool gameplay and a lot of the few people who interpret lore and the few other fanfic authors in english floating out there that i've seen have been really cool and i do try to encourage other creators in the space. there are some exceptions as some things/tropes/opinions piss me off but i try to keep it posi.

i do play in NA on genshin and english global on ak :( but grats on the autism man, the superhero we needed AND wanted. my partner played genshin for a bit before i did and they sent me a picture of xinyan and went ash this looks like you. they aint fuckig wrong. colorism won today

as for ocs! i've been thinking about audie a normal amount* lately. i scribbled some stuff with him and encio and gnosis but lost it when my computer crashed :( there's some stuff i posted in my tag for him tho (which is "oc: audie") about them and their games of chess.

shealtiel DOES do this but he doesnt know why. me instigating a fight because the andoain is hot and i want him on me. also, i think that when he converses with andoain on the trail- because andoain knows he's being followed and just lets shealtiel do it and sometimes tries to chat with him, persuade him to stop being so furious- if andoain starts annoying him he turns off his hearing aids and leaves. turning off my hearing aids i don't want to hear you anymore. andoain has to live with knowing that shealtiel can put him on mute. shealtiel hopes it makes him fucking writhe.

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (4/4)

Here we are! What a journey, and while perhaps this season wasn't at MoM level it was REALLY good, with great new villains/allies, great little throwbacks and an awesome story! 🤩

How to get this was very good to great? Give me a very good ending Seabound!! 💕💕

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I genuinely got too much into this remaining four episodes and forgot to put any general thoughts 😅 So you'll see me rambling at the end, see you there 😉

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

This title really summarize my feelings so far, like, I'm seriously wondering how it will move on from now, but I do expect the outcome to be CRAZY 🤯

Aaahhhh, yep, the one in Shintaro is a fake 😅 I wonder when did the change happen? How did Kalmaar pulled that off, wow

I'M SORRY WHY ARE WE PUTTING THE TITLE SCREEN WITHOUT THE INTRO?? THAT'S A FIRST EPISODE STUFF AND IT HONESTLY SCARES ME??? It reminds me of Winds of Change too and that episode was WOW 😭😭😭

Heeeeyyy, it's youuuu... huh... *watch scribble on hand* google snake guy, huh... Glucose... yep, good old Glutine and everything 😅

Are we having a "I may have made a mistake being evil" with this guy?

Jay: ah, Prime Empire! I was in that game you know! I fought for my life and the ones of all of Ninjago and I've seen my best friends and the love of my life die before my eyes... good times 🙂

Jay and Nya having fun at DDR has to be one of my favorite thing, they are so in sync and so lovable ❤💙❤💙

DID THEY ACTUALLY PUT THE JAYA SHIP NAME INTO THE SHOW??? OMG GUYS THE FANDOM IS TAKING OVER THE SHOW AT LAST!!! 🤯🤯🤯 The electric Jaya, heeeyy, niiicee 😎😎😎

HOW CUTE CAN YOU BE

MY SHIP 💙❤💙❤ They even gave each other high gives... this is neat, and it means something awful will happen right 🙂

Commissioner: he's saying something about a giant snake... and the end of the world... didn't we already have something like that?

Okay yep, he did the trick while fighting Nya, dang Kalmaar is sneaky! Not too shabby... but I gotta say, the summoning of the Great Devourer was a lot more dramatic 🤣🤣 Props to the serpentine, still my favorite snakes 💪💪

Wojira seems to be a little smaller than the Devourer maybe? His head way bigger than the bounty, while hers is not that massive even in comparison with Kalmaar

I might be wrong but at first glance, I stand by my opinion and by the superiority of the OG giant snake 🤷‍♀️

Yep Glutine guy did have a change of heart, better late than never 🤷‍♀️

You're telling me that Jay doesn't do engineering anymore, okay... HOW IS KAI A BETTER SOLUTION??? 🤣🤣🤣 Lol look at the messy brothers, love Lloyd and Kai so much I miss them interact 💚❤💚❤

Thank you Kelly for the alert 😗

It makes me wonder if they actually do have simulations of evacuations often, it would be pretty smart considering the city 🤷‍♀️

OKINO IS THERE HI DUDE!!! 😍 I hope he's doing great! 🥰🥰

Gail Gossip! Been a while!

WOW, this is going Deluge like, my first Spinjitzu Master! 😱 How... how do we go with three episodes from here? Like, I'm guessing Nya will have to do what Nyad did before her (which TERRIFIES me), so are they going to struggle trying to find another way? IDK BUT I'M IN LET'S GO!! 🤯

ASSAULT ON NINJAGO CITY

Alright, pretty straightforward title, let's see what we got here!

Tourists?... that actually makes sense, I mean, I would want to visit all the places where history was made on this island 😍 Aww nice to see they remember the battle against Garmy of Hunted, also that it is known that Jay was the one who faced Unagami 👍👍

DARETH!!! 🤎🤎🤎

Where have you been you knucklehead, I've missed you! 💕 I think I've last seen him in a commercial from the Fire Chapter?

This is a terrible guide 😵 Not knowing the brown ninja? Owner of the dojo the Green Ninja had trained in? Brief commander of the Stone Army? Master of makeup and puffy potstickers? Unforgivable, someone fire this woman ASAP 😡😡

LOOK AT DARETH TAKING CHARGE!!! 🤩 He's right, he should get involved every once in a while, come on guys!

Ah okay good, I'm not the only one struggling with that google snake name 😂

Yay Bentho is fully integrated with the team! He is a great addiction, like, I know he'll probably take the throne at the end or something but I do hope we'll need his help again in the future! 💙

Sometimes I forget how much I love Kai and Zane interacting 🤣 The brainiac and the airhead 🤍❤🤍❤

Oh right, Cole came back from Shintaro! So... now in this extremely secret city there is a fake amulet hanging into a highly secured place... how is it always Shintaro the keeper of flukes? 😂😂

A bath as a boat but it has a whole 😂😂 I love this show's randomness

What ears are they supposed to cover 😅

I LOVE THIS ATMOSPHERE!!! 😍😍😍 Between the gray sky of storm and the sea underneath, this is the perfect scenario for Wojira and it's not even forced! I love how they are handling backgrounds for Ninjago recently, I really hope it gets as good as in the finale of Prime Empire 💙💙💙

AAAAAAHHHHHhhhhh okay for a moment I was scared Wojira was going to eat Jay 😅 After The Island this is already the second time Bluebell risks it... STOP

WHY THE CLIFFHANGER!?!?

NUUUUU WHAT NOW??? 😱😱😱 We have two more episodes, how is this going to end? I DON'T KNOW AND I REALLY WANT TO PLEASE GIVE ME A GOOD FINALE SEABOUND!!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

NYAD

I AM SCARED FOR MY WATER LILY OKAY

Daaaang she can just float on that? She got super good at controlling water! Now I want her and Kai just randomly flying around with their powers 😂😂 Kai got missiles in his hands come on 🔥🔥🔥

JAY CAN YOU LET ME WORRY ABOUT YOU GUYS ONE AT THE TIME??? 😱

What would Kai do? WHAT WOULD KAI DO?? DID YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO DIE JAY WHY WOULD YOU THINK OF HIM??? ... although technically Kai is the only one with Jay who didn't straight up die before coming back to life in a dramatic moment... huh... Kai might be the most reasonable choice after all 😅

We grew up from Ninja never quit to NINJA AREN'T IDIOTS AND KNOW WHEN TO GET THE HECK OUT 😎😎 Even our motto got a character development 💪

JAY NOOOOOOOO 😱😱😱😱

BENTHO YAAAAAAASSSS 🥳🥳🥳🥳 Did I ever say that I love shark boy? BECAUSE I FREAKING DO!! 💙

Master prankster Wu once again, take that empty ship Calamari head 😎 Although the poor bounty doesn't deserve to get destroyed as many times as it did until now, it's my favorite ship... pun intended 😜

Ah more ninjajan, wait a moment

"Auto Pilot". Fair enough, although I was hoping for a "psych" or something 😂😂

NO WAIT NO WHAT THE HECK!!! I THOUGHT JAY GOT SAVED HE INHALED WATER??!? BLUEBELL NOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

But Cole running to his best friend immediately? HECK yes 🖤💙🖤💙

NYA CARRYING HER BOYFRIEND BRIDAL STYLE THIS IS THE RIGHTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!! ❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙 Gosh this season gave me amazing Jaya moments, I've been fed 👌👌

Okay Lloyd pacing back and forth? Kai already mad at their enemies? All the guys eager to help Jay? MY FAVORITE NINJA FAMILY BABY!!! 😎😎

I NEED A MOMENT 😭

Oh... oh gosh I knew Nya doing the Nyad thing was meant to happen, but this way? My heart is melting already 😭

I remember a post that said that Jay told Nya that he loves her many times, while she never did. Tommy reponded that she lets her actions speak... boy do I see it now, I see all of her love 😢😢

I never felt such conflicting emotions for a villain like I do for Kalmaar, like, he caused so much pain to Nya... but he is voiced by Giles... but he is the reason Jay is hurt... but that startle gag 😂😂😂

Okay this? Is adorable?

What the HECK? The police in this city is generally not very helpful, but the Commissioner is very wholesome 💜

Nyaaaaaaa 😭😭😭😭 I didn't think it was possible to love her even more, she was ignored for so long during the show, but now we finally see all of her. She is an amazing warrior, a selfless person, and a real hero 💪💪 And coming from such a mature girl that doesn't like to act irrationally, this means so much more

Jaya grew up so much, it went through some very questionable phases yes, but what they have here? It's the result of all they had lived together 💙❤💙❤

I have chills, this is amazing so far, I'm legit scared of going further 😱

SHE SAID IT!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay this moment, everything, EVERYTHING, is absolutely marvelous. Nya said I love you without a voice, alone, showing again that she values the actions more, but still her feelings are 100% truthful. Then the transformation (THERE IT IS HER BEAUTIFUL WATER FORM 😍😍😍), Jay getting saved, the realization of what she just did from everyone... DANG IT IT'S ALL BEAUTIFUL HOW LONG DID IT TAKE TO THINK OF THIS SCENE???

*slow clap for Bragi, Tommy, and the Ninjago crew*

Jay and water Nya with their hands together gives me big The Form of Water vibes... LOVE THAT MOVIE WHO'S READY FOR AN AU??

Jay wants to help her, I had no doubt 💙 They always help each other in these BOUNDs seasons 😍😍😍

Kalmaar: where are the ninja??

Commissioner: I don't know, they are ninja!

FINAL BATTLE INCOMING AAAAHHH I HOPE THIS WILL HAVE A GOOD ENDING OMG BRING IT!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

THE TURN OF THE TIDE

Oh, curious title? It feels a little vague, I don't really know what it could be

YES GIRL GO GET HIS CALAMARI BUTT HECK YES!!! Just how cool can you be for walking slowly while the attacks go straight through you? 😂

Hey Nya still recognizes Jay! 😃😃

HEY NYA GOT VAPORIZED WTH 😱😱 It's too early, I don't believe that's it!

WHOA JAY WENT BERSERK JUST NOW!! I don't think I've seen this before, this is the coolest thing! 💙💙💙 I just love when he shows how strong he is, you can be a comic relief AND kick butts 😎

FIGHTING ANIMATIONS MAN I LOVE THESE SCENES!! 😍😍😍

What the- was... was that a cameo of the lightning chicken? Ninjago what the HECK I love your randomness 😂😂

BENTHOMAAR TAGS IN!!! Showing off why he is best boy of the season 💙 These fightings are very cool but I can't help imagining Wojira just chilling while there are midgets getting very angry at each other onto her head 🤣🤣🤣

WHOA, CALAMARI BITE! Kalmaar got the Pythor treatment... might change color by next season if he returns 😅

(Please return I loved having Giles' voice in this season 💙💙💙)

NYA IS A DRAGON!!! I REPEAT NYA IS A DRAGON!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I was wondering where the dragon moment was, this is Ninjago after all 🤷‍♀️

Head empty, just Jay smiling softy at Nya because he loves her 💙💙💙

IT'S RAINING NYA, HALLELUIA IT'S RAINING NYA, HEYE!! ☔☔☔ This fight is MASSIVE! We had finales with big creatures before but now one of the ninja is big enough to face them and that's 🤯

NYA DID IT!!! 🤩🤩🤩 ... now onto the angst that I KNOW it's coming

Kai being unbelieving is tragic, and Jay's "don't leave me" broke my heart. Please end this misery, where is the deus ex machina that solves everything?

Wait she left?

...

WAIT SHE ACTUALLY LEFT??? WHAT THE HECK THEY AREN'T ENDING IT LIKE THIS

...

OH MY GOSH

ARE THEY?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Omg the grief in this is beautiful, nice to see Jay and Maya so close to each other! Also Kai leaning onto his mom while Cole is comforting his best best friend? Amazing, they really do these scenes great 👌

EVERYONE SHOWED UP I LOVE THIS CITY SO MUCH 😭😭😭 Aww Ed and Edna, wasn't this such a sad situation I would be so much happier to see you guys 🥺

Master Wu even mentioned that she built Samurai X, you really want to make me cry now do you? 🥺🥺

MAYA AND RAY 😢😢😢😢😢😢

Omg look at Cole being there for his best friend, he is amazing 🖤💙🖤💙

I have such Rebooted vibes from this... is it hopeful? That Nya comes back like Zane? She's no nindroid but still... oh my gosh they got her symbol on the vase I just noticed, I need more tissues 😭😭

"In loving memory of Kirby Morrow". Always in our hearts 🖤🖤🖤

...

Wow

WOW

THEY ACTUALLY DID IT I NEED ANOTHER MOMENT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT IN THE WORLD THIS IS THE BIGGEST CHANGE THEY DID IN A WHILE!!!

AND NOW WHAT??? 🤯🤯🤯

FINAL THOUGHTS

I'm speechless... like that's true, have A LOT to write over here 😅

This type of plot twist reminds me of our early seasons. Zane sacrificing himself, Garmadon giving up his life, those moments that made me so curious and excited about the following. I have no idea what will be the outcome for this, but I can't wait to find out

With that out of the way, AMAZING SEASON 😍😍😍 I think this finale beats MoM's, just because it was really unexpected and opens up a SEA of possibilities... yeah too soon 😭

I'm still shaken, my world, they did something HUGE and I do hope it will be a good shake to the entire Ninjago plotline. Nya is "gone", we still don't know about the person behind all that vengestone, we haven't heard from Garmy in forever, there are so many good ideas out there now that they've set the ground for more 🤩🤩

Voice acting was *chef's kiss*, not only for the villain which I already stressed enough about, I think Kelly reached a new level of emotional intimacy with Nya and I'm so happy she showed her skills 💜💜

Animation is TOP, there's little to no point into saying anything else since they showed it very clearly in the latest season ☺

This was the emotional, witty and engaging writing I was looking for! Good jokes, meaningful dialogues, emotional scenes, everything was really good and I'm gonna rewatch some scenes especially for that 😍

It turned out having Maya and Ray back was kind of a distraction to fool us all 😅😅 Well played actually, and it was very cool seeing them again in any case 🙋‍♀️

And now? Jay lost his love, I have no idea if the show will work on him getting over her or hold onto her memory (thinking of Jay probably the latter, although I do think that handling the first would be an interesting idea). KAI LOST HIS SISTER 😢😢😢 I have no doubt he's gonna beat himself up for it, like he did when Zane was gone too. Everyone lost their friend, she had become such a vital part of the team and now she is not here anymore it will be hard...

They are back with the four plus one green savior formation, I sincerely don't know how I feel about that 😅 I'm always happy when we get the OGs, but this is about going on without Nya... maybe Skylor will be called? Or Pixal will be more active? That could be interesting to see, who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Gosh, how are they going to handle the next season? It will have to give A LOT of answers to the millions questions we all have right now. Man I can't wait, it could be anything!!! This is a Ninjago revolution!

But if I have to mention a little complain, and I'm a fangirl so I absolutely have to, Kai didn't show much of a reaction to Nya's "departure". Okay, she didn't straight up die like in Skybound (I'm gonna fear all BOUND seasons from now on 😱), but he's her brother and he loves deeply his family. Either we're gonna see him go all out next season, or the writers really did only focus on Jaya. A tiny bit salty... but you got me a fantastic finale so I'll move on 👍

Outstanding, I'm blown away. Whenever I think I'm used to this show they do stuff like this. I'm so glad and sad you guys 😅 But mostly happy that despite everything I still get very strong emotions while I watch this long time favorite show of mine 💜💜💜

What else can I say at this point? ONTO NEXT SEASON!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Thank you for reading me freaking out over LEGO spinning ninja as always! It helps me calm down but this time it might be harder thant the others... *sobs*

I need to lay down and process all of this, I'll be on my way 😂😂 BYE!!! 💜

[feely-touchy]

I talk a lot a lot

With nothing much to say

With scribble-scratchy-white-out words

In kindergarten colored-clay

Dirt sticking to them all

The meaning never taking shape

Just lumps in fumbly hands

It always seems a waste

Ugly and untamed

I wonder why

I can't color in the lines

I can't make it smooth and fine

I like when things are strange

But even if I can't help the way I am

If I don't seem to even give a damn

I want to be praised

Though there's something wrong with that

Nobody's found my volume dial

The problems just go on and on

I've grown into the oldest child

Just another crybaby kid

Pathetic as that ought to be

A fool for never wising up

Peach pink, most embarrassingly

But I want to be somebody everyone can trust

I want to be enough

I just wish I got the jump

Early

Lately, I feel like I've been fucking up

Like maybe life isn't my lukewarm tea or broken cup

And I'll never really find true love

If they really know me

But I talk so much about all this stuff and people still take the time to talk to me

Maybe there's a chance that I could make them happy

Maybe I'm not as awful as I seem?

[peppermintlark]

frog emoji, pen emoji, feather emoji, sun emoji! (sorry im on desktop lmfao)

Yarrow could almost pass for a Court Faerie, if not for her eyes: amber in color, with horizontal slits for pupils, much like a tree frog.

"It works out, really," she'd say. "I can blend in if I need to, but I've still got the stuff of the wilds in me, y'know?"

--🐸: Yarrow from Iron-Bred, Violet-Born

Oliver had been gone for a long time now. Linos knew this was for the best; that's what they had been told, anyway. Still, when their mother and sister were up late at night, whispering plans for Big Important Things they didn't quite understand, they would scribble their brother's figure into their drawings of the family. As if the more they drew him, the easier it would be to understand his departure. As if drawing him would bring him home.

--🖊️: Linos Ferrao from Iron-Bred, Violet-Born

When Persimmon was young, he would approach his mother with a bird's egg delicately cupped in his outstretched hands. "This was me once," he'd say, and a frightened look would pass over her face before she asked him to put it back. Again and again, he would bring her an egg, insisting, "This was me once," and again and again, she would simply tell him to put it back.

One day, he came to her, tears in his eyes and a freckly blue robin's egg in his hands, and he said, a little desperately, "This was me once, Mama, this was me once."

His mother paused a moment. She seemed to consider saying more this time, but in the end, she simply ruffled his hair and told him to put it back.

--🪶: Persimmon from the as of yet unnamed Manor in the Hills WIP

"You're like the sun in the morning," Rute murmured, twirling a lock of Oliver's golden hair around his finger. "Make getting up worth it. Warm the world up. Pretty."

"Go to sleep, Rute," Oliver said, though he couldn't help but smile.

"Like the sun in the afternoon, too. Bright. Irritating. Still pretty, though."

Oliver gently punched Rute in the shoulder, and the two of them burst into breathy, sleepy laughter.

--☀️: Oliver Ferrao from Iron-Bred, Violet-Born