#i've seen it a couple times and didn't think it was quite funny enough to reblog until now

[varpusvaras]

'Cute' was not a word Bail would've used for himself.

No one else really did, either. His mother had started calling him her 'handsome boy' pretty exclusively before he had hit four, and Bail had not thought anything about it, only that it had definitely made him feel bigger and older. Which was a lot, since he had at that point been as tall as Rouge, who had just turned seven.

He had not though about it at all until he was a couple of weeks shy of nineteen and holding Breha's hand on their evening walk. He raised his brow when Breha suddenly glanced down at their hands and laughed softly under her breath.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing", Breha answered. "I just like how you always want to hold hands. It's cute."

Bail also looked down at their hands. Did he? He supposed he did. He still held hands with Tia a lot of the time when they were out, and touches like that just were a thing in their household. That was how they showed affection, and Bail was happy Breha liked it as well.

"That's good", he said, not able to contain a smile spreading on his face. Breha smiled back, and glanced back down at their hands, before looking Bail straight in the eye.

"You're cute", she said, and Bail suddenly felt very hot on his face.

"Oh", he managed to say. "Thank you?"

Breha laughed softly again, and squeezed his hand.

Bail thought about it for the rest of the week.

---

Bail stared himself at the mirror.

"That's a contemplating look if I've ever seen one", Breha said. Bail sighed.

"I am contemplating", he said. "...does this make me look too...wide?"

He was not usually the one to be self-conscious about his appearance, but even he had his low points. Preparing for his first appearance as Alderaan's Senator was, apparently, one of them.

Breha gave him a look.

"I don't think you can be "too" much of anything", she hummed. "Especially when it comes to your own body. But, I think you look good. Very dashing and robust."

That got an unintentional laugh out of Bail.

"Robust?" He asked, raising his brow.

"Yes. Strong and hale", Breha said. She walked up next to him. She looked tiny compared to him, in her sleek and light home dress.

Bail saw her look a little bit more intensely at their reflection.

"Of course I'm a bit biased", she said. "I like you being tall and broad, and don't mind at all when something accentuates that."

"Thank you", Bail said. "I was just thinking, since I'm already the tallest person in every room I walk into. I wouldn't want to look too imposing."

"You won't", Breha said without hesitation. "You look too kind for that."

She turned to look at him proper.

"The only tiny downside of your height is that I can't see your cute face all the time straight on", she said.

She smirked when Bail didn't quite manage to fight back the flush.

"You're doing that on purpose", he accused.

Breha tilted her head.

"Yes", she said. "And I can see it's working."

She laughed as Bail picked her up and pressed kisses on her face.

---

"You work too much", Fox said.

"I'm sure", Bail answered. He bit back a laugh when Fox sighed loudly.

"Yes", Fox said, and flopped down next to him. He wouldn't be staying the whole night in the Cantham house, as it was too far away from the base and he had a shift the next morning, but Bail still enjoyed every moment of every opportunity he had of having Fox in his home. "You work way too much. You're too handsome to work that much."

He brushed, a bit clumsily, Bail's hair away from his face. Now Bail did let out a low laugh.

"Thank you", he said. "I appreciate your opinion on that, though I think the wine is making you exaggerate a bit."

It was making Fox slightly uncoordinated and hazy-eyed. Bail had not thought about the fact that his position as the Commander of the Guard didn't leave Fox with a lot of downtime, and definitely not enough downtime for him to get drunk, like many of his brothers did while they were on Coruscant. The wine they had had earlier that evening had hit Fox a bit harder than was intended.

Fox almost pouted.

"It's not", he said, and sat back up, leaning over Bail slightly. "I'm very correct."

"Of course you are, my love", Bail said, though the amused grin on his face was probably not selling his words to Fox at that moment.

"I am!" Fox said, tapping Bail at his forehead. "You are way too cute to be working so much!"

Oh. Bail had mostly gotten over being embarrassed of how much of an effect such a little word could have on him, but now it hit him on full force again.

"I-" he started, only to be instantly interrupted.

"Way too cute!" Fox repeated. "It should be illegal! I need to call Breha and tell her that she needs to make it a law-"

"Oh, no, no, you don't need to do that right now", Bail hurried to sit up as well as Fox leaned away and started reaching for his commlink. "You can talk to Breha tomorrow, alright? She's probably sleeping already."

Fox blinked a couple of times.

"Oh, right", he said, and turned away from the commlink. He took one look at Bail's face and frowned. "Are you okay? You look very dark on your face."

Oh, Bail was sure he did.

"I'm fine", he said. "How about we lay down for a moment, before I take you back to the base?"

Fox didn't say anything for a moment. He kept staring at Bail, with his brow furrowed, until suddenly his eyes seemed to clear up a bit.

"I see", he said. "Is it because I called you cute?"

He squinted his eyes at Bail when Bail failed to answer immediately.

"Maybe?" Bail knew he was done when Fox slowly nodded at that.

"I see", he said, again. "Interesting."

"It's definitely way too interesting for your current state", Bail said. "Now, lay down, please."

Fox nodded again, and did lay down, though he kept staring at Bail very intently the whole time. He reached his hand, and lightly brushed his fingers over Bail's cheekbone.

"Interesting", he said under his breath, and Bail knew that this wouldn't be the last he heard about this.

---

Three weeks later, Fox, this time completely sober and clear intention in his eyes, partially climbed over Bail and leaned close.

"Cute", he said, and pressed a feather light kiss on the corner of Bail's mouth. He smirked so smugly at Bail's rapidly warming face that one would've thought he had just won the war all by himself.

That first kiss was definitely the last light touch for the night. Bail was sure that had been the intention all along.

[vendetta-if]

I saw this tiktok and immediately thought of Viktor and Luka doing this when they were younger😭

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFg44GCY/

Viktor as KAITO (blue haired one) and Luka as Len (the blonde one)

(Also replace “grandson” with “younger brother”)

For those who want to check out the TikTok, click here 😂Funny thing is, if only Viktor didn't die and things turned out differently, Luka would've totally spent his mid 20s to early 30s living a bachelor lifestyle and enjoying himself. He would even probably be considered to be either a playboy or a heartbreaker (or both).

In fact, in the Halloween interactive side story, he was actually a bit late because he had a hookup during a party and that side story is canon🤣(Plus point if anyone can figure out who it was he hooked up with in the side story 🤭 I've only seen one person talked to me about it on Discord when it was first released)

But not only Viktor's and Cara's deaths really stressed him out, it also made him very paranoid for years and by then, there would be no way he would have too many casual sexual relationships with strangers. And of course, he had two niblings to take care of--which he has always been more than happy to do--and had to immediately step up as a parent-figure and guardian 🥺

Also, I know some people might actually assume Viktor in his youth to be the playboy/womanizer/heartbreaker one because he was charming af. But in reality, he has always been a true (and even a bit hopeless) romantic type of guy.

While it's true that he would shamelessly flirt and charm, he actually only had a few hookups; he had always been more interested in having a serious relationship.

This trait of his was also why he was willing to stay in a hidden relationship with Yvette for quite some time; he was ready to fight for the relationship and try to work it out.

Even for the first couple of years after MC was born, he still held out hope secretly that Yvette would change his mind and chose him and MC over her career--that's what he would've done if he was in her shoes. But of course, that didn't happen. And even the most romantic guy has a limit and Viktor reached his and lost all hope after some time 😔

Anyway, that's enough of me yapping about these two brothers 😆 I just realized I've never really talked about this aspect of them here previously, I think.

[moononmyfloor]

Dashing Youth Ep 11-16 Commentary

Ep 1-10, Ep 17-21, Ep 22-25, Ep 26-32, Ep 33-35, Ep 36-40

Ep 11

More flirting

We meet Xiao Se's nasty Emperor dad in his youth, played by the lovely Fan Jinwei, whose Prince Chong I loved in BoY. Not sure if I'm prepared to hate him this time. He looks good tho!

We also meet Wu Xin' mom, who looks like a fractured wistful early-morning dream which is about to float away and dissappear with the slightest breath, never to be found again.

And Luo Qingyang, (not to be confused with everyone's favorite girl crush Mianmian from The Untamed), the angry repressed big finale martial artist from BoY

Ep 12

I love the super powerful but easily spooked wooden sword wielding Mt. Wangcheng disciple, kid you *really* don't need to try study under Master Li, just because he's "the" shifu doesn't mean he's better. He will teach you nothing and isn't batting an eye at his exam candidates dying right under his eyes. Srsly, Mt. Wangcheng, the Lei family and Changfeng's Medicine Shifu's Valley seem to be the only places suitable to bring up well-adjusted, grounded kids in this universe.

Dual cultivating right in front of future wife's salad

Damn his gaze is somehow piercing but indifferent at the same time

(He's gonna explode and die in the future isn't he) Also see, this is what I mean. Most of the shifus in this universe are no good at teaching and guidance. These kids in their youthful vigor and angst are extremely volatile and you all just let them run rampant. They are easily suspectible to being used by bad forces and eventually create massive tragedies for themselves and everyone else.

Well I suppose Dongjun's first shifu was a great guy but 1. He didn't have enough time 2. Even if he did he was dying and sustaining himself in a contained bubble and what he could teach Dongjun about the world was quite limited.

Ahaha I have the exact same pouch! It's a cheap Aliexpress delivery pouch I got a ring sent in

Ep 13

Omg she's TOO CUTE! This young lady and Baba from JoL2 are the prettiet babies I've seen this year!

Local playboy realises his boyfriend from alt universe is happily married and has chosen to live a stress free life, the new boyfriend has ditched him for his future child's mom, his old boyfriend is away in a Detox Vacation and realises his carefree childhood has come to its end 😔

Dongjun:

Also I'm actually kinda surprised to find myself shipping this tragic pair of Dingzhi/Wenjun, and shipping HARD at that. I don't know what I expected but by the the time of BoY, all that remains about their relationship is a sordid gossip but they actually turn out to be two broken lil kids🥺 They don't even have like, a hot and hormonal romance but a one built on sweet childhood promises of protecting his little meimei and caring for her Yun gege. Poor babies😭

Ep 14

Liu Yue thinks he hides it well behind his hat but dude is practically bursting at seams for having gotten a disciple, and he's basically teaching Yue Yao how to flex well and never embarrass herself, which in addition would embarrass himself lol. He also seems to be kinda lonely and bored despite his quirky lil maid and broody bf. It's like he was born to be a social butterfly but with his current social status he cannot.

Inaccurately accurate MTL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(Also this is so funny to me with the context that I've read the "lifting the hijab" mtl line in lots of Chinese fics where the couple gets married and that red veil lifting thing happens on the marrige bed lol.)

Dingzhi's master seems to be just as traumatised by life as Dingzhi is. Huang Yi lasohi is actually so good in roles like this. Also can we have an applause for the first genderqueer character in the show woohoo

And then the two shifus have a date about their duel, lol

Ep 15

Baili Dongjun gotta be the naivest ML I've encountered in a while, and by naive I mean beyond the levels of your average innocent, inexperienced teen full of sunlight and getting jaded overtime such as Fang Duobing, Wu Xie, Zhang Chulan etc.

Dongjun has grown up so sheltered and full of positivity, he doesn't seem to register the gravity of things even when they are right in front of his face almost to the point of stupidity.

He provides a stark contrast against his friends, Sikong Changfeng who's been the sweetest but also most down-to-earth kid to begin with and Ye Dingzhi who's been dealing with the weight of the whole world since childhood.

That part where Dongjun saw the arrest warrant for Dingzhi who also turned out to be his long lost bff, was told by his elders that they'll take care of the matter and will bring Dingzhi to him, Dongjun was just like "Ok cool! That's settled then! I'm gonna just chill and have a drink with my new girlfriend then!" was almost funny but sad because,

Kid, you are going to be in a WORLD of hurt VERY soon. You trust strangers way too much!

I mean in BoY you see how severely Dongjun has crashed to the point of wanting to create a broth of oblivion..... I can totally see how that happened.

Also that poster is a severe injustice to Dingzhi's GORGEOUS face lmao

Ep 16

I mostly have opinions about Master Li in this ep, which I compiled in a seperate post linked above

Also my bb Changfeng is back! And straight away he also joined the baby making game, and Dongjun has no choice but to be a good wingman to his bros at this point lmao

Changfeng chose the most comparatively normal and mundane romance arc too. She's the top courtesan for sure but still, for many young gentry she wouldn't have been anymore worth than a fling, but Changfeng just went ahead and offered her the most genuine, authentic companionship ever without a second of hesitation. And walked out head held high, with ZERO idea about how suave and sexy it made him and I'm like:

5/5 Stars No Drama

[stalkedbytrains]

A Dark Revelation Returns

The villain's lair, even by current standards, was trash. Some stupid fortified bunker underneath an abandoned warehouse. Absolutely no class. No style.

Shit security.

She walked up to the entrance. Hands in her pockets, didn't do anything besides walk confidently towards the hidden door.

Finding the location was a bit of a trick, she had had to call in a few favors and markers that she was sure were going to cost her later.

One flunky came out with a gun. "Stop! Who's there? What are you doing here?"

She didn't stop, but she did take her hands out of her pockets to show that she was unarmed.

Funny how there have been people with superpowers for a long time now, and the motion of showing you were unarmed still carried so much weight with people. It was an ingrained motion, hidden deep in the DNA.

"Sorry. I'm looking for my husband."

"We don't have anyone here. Get lost."

Only six. Not nearly enough.

"I'm sorry! Really! I think I may have gotten lost! This whole area is quite big and you know me I have like, no sense of direction," she said. Her voice changed. Higher, a bit more shrill. Ditzy. 27 was much better. The guard is shifting his weight awkwardly. Just a few more words to sink the hook.

"You sure he's not here? Did someone else bring him in and just... didn't tell you? My friends don't tell me things, like, all the time."

53. Much better. He's listening now. He's sweating a little bit.

Her power was starting to really sink in.

"I mean... I was told he was here by people that would know. If you don't know that he's here. What else don't you know? What else are they lying to you about?"

She watched the words sink in. Another 33 words. He was enthralled by the power and the paranoia was taking hold.

"You don't think... no... they're not planning on... well, you know," she said with too many words. More words than were necessary. She could have just said that they were planning on killing him. But that was too easy, and she needed to be wordy.

The guard took a step backwards.

"I... uh... maybe."

Too late. 86 words in a row were more than enough for her power to kick in. The fear had him.

"I would leave if I were you. Run while you can. Before they find you," she said, her voice back to normal, lower, more menacing and controlled.

The guard didn't need telling twice. Not when he was fully under her control.

He dropped the gun and ran. He ran as fast as he could.

"Wow, I've never seen a man run so... stupidly. What terrible form. Jesus," she said as she watched him run with a weird fascination. "Huh."

From there she entered the secret villain base.

It was drab, boring, and so so dull. It was gunmetal gray and looking like it was taken straight from the set of a D-list action movie from 30 years ago.

She ran into a couple of mooks, random goons for this villain. But she was already on a roll with her powers. The guard outside was a nice warm up. All she had to do was offer a quick explanation, no more than 15 words or so, uninterrupted, and she had them dancing to her tune.

-[x]-

The mission had been successful. The Union required a couple of heroes to be out of commission for a few days. They had a big mission planned in the next 48 hours and there needed to be specific people in place at specific points, and can't have the over enthusiastic heroes doing their jobs in the wrong spot.

Black Charles was pleased with himself. He managed to snag the hero Gaia's Grace almost without effort. As soon as the big Supervillain Union plan happened, he was sure that he was going to get promoted up to be closer to the big leagues.

Maybe even participate in the next big Villainy.

He was ready. And he proved it.

Black Charles walked into his main office and there was someone sitting at his desk. Her feet were up on his desk and she was just idly twirling a pen in her hand.

She was totally unassuming.

"Well well well. Black Charles was it?" she said.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" the villain demanded. His powers started to bristle against his skin.

"That's a question for later. First, I need to ask you something: do you have someone in your life that makes you want to be better? Someone that you look at with fondness and joy and decide that you will be better to be the person that they want you to be?"

Black Charles, what an awful name for a villain, faltered. He knew better than to attack someone who just seemingly appeared in his lair without so much as a shot fired or an explosion. "No. I am my own man. I strive for perfection because I am and will be the best."

The woman frowned. She was still spinning the pen in her hand, it moved quickly and precisely despite the fact that she wasn't paying it the slightest bit attention. "How sad. How lonely for you. See, I found that person. They are not the greatest hero in the world, nor the strongest. But they are the best. The brightest. They're so goddamn good that they just inspire everyone around them, even me, even me with all the crime and evil that stain my hands. They love me, and for them I would do anything. Even retire." He lets her monologue. She loved a good monologue. All villains love a good monologue. "I own a flower shop now. We have two cats: Missile Launcher and Bartholemeow."

Black Charles started to shift nervously. He still hadn't figured out who she was yet. Which meant she really needed to thank the people who set up her retirement package. But the nervousness meant her power was working.

"Now you've taken the person that is my whole reason for nothing being a terrible murderous villain anymore and I'm having some trouble reigning in my old tendencies. I mean, you know what they say about old habits. So how about we do an even trade? You give me back my spouse, and I tell you how I got in."

Black Charles was starting to get really antsy, scratching at phantom itches. "I want you out of here."

"Or what? You can't stop me. You didn't even know I was here. You don't even know who I am."

"Fine! Deal! Deal!" He pulls out a small comm unit that looked like a walkie-talkie which she found very funny but couldn't laugh about it now. If she laughed it would break the hold her power had over him. "Release the prisoner!"

"But... boss!" came the voice on the other end.

"DO IT!" Black Charles yelled.

"Good," she said. "Now, you never figured out who I am. I don't want to spoil that surprise, I'll let you figure it out on your own. But I will say that spreading fear and paranoia is my stock and trade, and people make lots of very stupid decisions when they act out of extreme paranoia. So did the guards forget to leave the doors locked? Did someone do it deliberately? Are all of your goons and mooks trying to undermine you by letting me in? Who can say? But you really shouldn't have let me talk for this long."

The longer she talked, the more words she could string together without stopping the stronger the sense of fear and paranoia she can instill in the people who hear her. And Black Charles really just let her go. The only person to ever stop her was her husband who constantly interrupted her and asked a lot of truly valid and intelligent questions.

But Black Charles was deep within the throes of her power and was probably going to terminate some of his henchmen's contracts. That wasn't her problem. She got up, strode out of the room with confidence as the paranoia burrowed deep within the substandard villain, and got her spouse out of the small prison cell.

"Hey honey, let's go home."

"We gotta feed Missile Launcher, I'm sure she's super upset with us."

She tried very hard to stifle a laugh. "Of course. But now is not the time for you to be so disarmingly charming love."

"I am what I am," he said as he leaned on her a little bit too much.

As they left the lair together, her husband turned to her. "You're distant, what are you thinking about?"

She frowned. "I think I'm going to have to do some favors."

"You're not going to..."

"No. No more costumes and fights for me. But I can't let this just go. The villains have gotten out of control. I can't believe I'm going to say this. Fucking Adrienne was right."

"How so?"

"This whole thing was set up to keep you from doing your job and protecting people. So that the villains can succeed in something in the next two days."

Her husband didn't say anything. He knew his wife better than to argue.

She pulled out a cellphone as they got to her car.

"Adrienne. It's Dark Revelation. Yeah. I'm in," she said. "Oh don't sound so smug. I'm not putting on a costume and I'm not going around causing the terror that I used to. But these idiots tried to take out my husband and I won't let that stand."

my kofi

[treasurecitymoonchild]

Chapter 2 - A (not so) warm welcome

story: The Lieutenant's Shadow - Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

cw: fem!reader, angst, foul language, mentions of scars, mentions of violence

word count: 5,853

chapter summary: Your first day and night at the safehouse is one you won't forget anytime soon.

read this chapter on ao3

The safehouse was designed by men, for men.

It wasn't long into Soap's tour of the interior when he realised that the place lacked a lot of basic comforts. He knew it wasn't rare for a safehouse to have the simplest of simple interiors, but now that he was showing the place to you, a female, it started to sink in how little to no facilities there actually were. 

The only bathroom missed a door and had no hot water or shower curtain. There was no kitchen, they were surviving on MREs and bottled water. And to top it all off, the toilet couldn't flush, to which he spared you the details.

You repeatedly kept telling him that you really didn't mind and that you were used to these kinds of living conditions, but you could tell he started to feel bad. Every room you entered seemed to get progressively worse in his eyes, you on the other hand thought it was rather funny. An irritated sigh left his lips once you two entered the room that was assigned to be the sleeping area.

"So uhm, this is where we all sleep," Soap exaggeratedly placed his hands on his hips while scanning the room. He looked dismayed at the bunk beds, slightly shaking his head. "As you can see, also not quite comfortable. I'm sorry y/n, I feel like a shite host," he groaned. You softly laughed before deciding to speak up.

"Soap, it's fine. I've had worse in the past. I'm glad to have a bed," you reassured him. He furrowed his brows.

"Yer telling me you didn't have one at the Shadow Company's base? I always imagined that to be one hell of an HQ," he questioned. You chuckled, the pain in your back almost returning as you remembered your last bed.

"I did have a bed silly, but if you'd told me I was sleeping on a bed of nails there I would've believed you. I'm excited to try a new one for a change," Soap's shoulders slightly relaxed at your comment.

"Well, you might find it to be better here, but don't expect that you'll be sleepin' like a baby. The guys can snore like bears."

"I bet you're the loudest," you joke, turning your head towards Soap. He acts offended, but is quick with an answer.

"Not with snoring, no. I can make quite some noise with other things tho."

Your eyes playfully glare at him through your mask as you let out a huff of laughter. His eyes widen again.

"With guns o'course! Jeez, I really need to mind how I say something," Soap scratches the back of his head before laughing along with you. After he stops laughing, he looks around the room for the empty bunk bed that is assigned to you. Spotting it, he walks towards it, still carrying your duffel bag around his shoulders. You follow suit, glancing around the room yourself while taking in your new bedroom for the next couple of weeks. You notice five bunks in the room, making for ten beds in total. They are all occupied by the looks of it, meaning that there must be at least seven other people stationed in this safehouse, seeing that you've already met Captain Price and seen the mysterious guy they call Ghost from afar. The room is empty now, making you wonder where everyone is.

"Your boushty, madam," Soap says while stopping in front of a bunk bed. He drops your duffel bag on the lower bed, which you are secretly really happy with. You've always preferred the lower bed since you fell out of the top one multiple times in college.

"I assume that means bed?"

"Yer a fast learner, although understanding it is easier than pronouncing it. Try it," he tells you, giving you a challenging look. You squint your eyes, debating whether or not you should try.

"I think I'll pass on that one for now." Soap smiles a little while nodding his head.

"Fair enough. You did say for now tho, so I'm expecting to hear your attempt one day!" he points at you. 

"One day, Soap. One day," you tell him, a small chuckle leaving your lips.

"Call me Johnny. Soap sounds so serious, I usually-" a burst of your laughter cuts him off. "What're you laughing for?"

"Soap doesn't sound quite serious to me," you tell him while still laughing. The corners of Soap's mouth curl up in a smile before playfully rolling his eyes.

"You didn't let me finish! It sounds serious cuz I mainly use it in the field. I prefer people calling me by my real name in less serious situations. But you know what, I give you the privilege to call me whatever you want, lass. Soap, Johnny, MacTavish, hawk... I don't mind really," he tells you, making you laugh even harder at the final nickname he gave himself.

"I might have to go with hawk then, can't pass on that opportunity." Soap glares at you, already regretting the fact that he even gave you that option. You try to calm down from your laughing fit, but the unamused look on his face that makes him look like an angry mohawked bear makes it hard for you to stop laughing.

You've laughed more with Soap already than you ever have during your time at the Shadow Company. You've already taken quite a liking to him, he made you feel welcome here and most definitely excited to meet the others. Captain Price seemed nice as well, a bit more serious as far as you could tell from the first communication you've had with him, but definitely nice. You can't say the same yet about your partner for this mission. Ghost stared you down like he wanted to scare you off, like you didn't belong here.

But you don't intimidate me that easily, Lieutenant.

Soap looks at you for a couple of seconds after his laughter has died down. You can tell he's thinking of something to say. He hesitates before deciding to speak up anyway.

"Aren't you bloody hot in that thing?" he says, referring to your mask. "You know you can take it off in here, the fact that Ghost wears one all day doesn't mean you need to."

You honestly weren't realising that you were still wearing it, as it has become such a habit to wear it all the time around new people. It wasn't until Soap pointed out that you still had the black balaclava on your head that you suddenly started to feel the heat.

You hated drawing unnecessary attention to your scar by only taking off your mask when someone 'asked' you to. Of course, Soap is curious to see what the female sergeant he just met looks like underneath the mask. How could he not be? But taking it off in front of him right now felt too forced in your opinion, like you were satisfying his expectations. Even though Soap has made you feel quite comfortable already, you decide to wait.

"Thanks, Johnny. I'll think about it."

Soap nods before looking around the room, going back into his thinking mode. He is contemplating if he has shown you every part of the safehouse, soon realising that you've seen everything already.

"Well, I don't have anything else to show you, the safehouse's not that big. I hope you liked the tour tho?" he says in a questioning manner. You make sure he can see the smile in your eyes.

"It was great, thanks hawk." 

Soap glares at you again, playfully pushing your shoulder. 

"I knew I shouldn't have said that."

You snicker while shooting a glance at your bed and duffel bag for a second. Soap notices and speaks up.

"Right, so, I've demanded yer attention for far too long, I bet you want to rest for a bit. I'll leave you to it now," Soap starts, glancing at his watch before looking back at you. "If you're hungry, most of us usually eat dinner around seven. And by dinner, I mean opening up the umpteenth MRE and hoping that there will be another person in the common room who's hungry at the same time. I'll definitely be there tho, so you won't be alone. I never turn down food."

You smile before nodding your head. "Sounds good. I'll be there." 

"Class, see you in around an hour then. And again," he says while giving you a fist bump, "welcome to Task Force 141."

You had spent the past forty-five minutes unpacking your bag, putting your personal items away in a locker and under your bed. There wasn't much to unpack, but it took you so long because you kept taking a ten-minute break after putting away one thing. The entire trip and the heat from today have made you quite tired. You weren't used to this heat yet, seeing that you've spent the last eight months in the colder climate of the United States.

You were currently seated on your bed, flipping through your journal in search of an empty page. You had made a habit out of journaling a while ago when overthinking and procrastinating were threatening to become your normal state of mind. Putting your thoughts on paper and out of your head calmed you down, even though it was only temporary. Nowadays you also used your journal as a diary, jotting down the things you had done during the day and important stuff you really shouldn't forget. You decided to dedicate a separate section to this new chapter in your military career, titling it A fresh start.

You decide to leave the actual writing of a diary entry for later. You get up from your bed, making your way towards what was supposed to be serving as the bathroom. The only thing in there was a broken mirror, a sink and a shower, the latter being right in the middle of the room. Your gaze alternated between the shower and the door frame behind you, quickly noticing that since there was no door, the shower was visible from every corner of the sleeping area. And with no shower curtain, everyone was going to be able to see your naked body from the comfort of their own bed.

Great.

Deciding to leave the shower for later, you make your way towards the sink. You glance at yourself in the mirror, noticing your mask is dirty from the dusty air outside. You still hadn't taken your mask off, even though you had been alone after Soap left you. You also hadn't seen anyone else, making you wonder if there were actually any other people besides Soap, Price and Ghost. The thought of someone you hadn't met walking in and seeing your face - and scar in particular - refrained you from exposing your face. 

But you couldn't keep it on forever. You didn't want to keep it on forever. You wanted these people to see the real you. You didn't want to be known as 'that one masked sniper from the Shadow Company'. You had felt like just another number at the Shadow Company for eight months, you were ready for people to actually care about the person behind the concealment. Actually taking off your mask would be a good start, and since Soap had already given you a small glimmer of hope, you decided to just say fuck it. 

You pull your mask off your head, the mild air of the safehouse immediately cooling your face. Your cheeks were flushed from the previous humid heat inside your mask. Sweaty strands of hair were sticking to your forehead and the sides of your face. Your rough appearance made you look like you'd just run a marathon.

You turn on the tap of the sink, splashing lukewarm water on your face. You were rubbing the sweat and dirt out of your pores, feeling fresher by the minute. There was no towel, so you used the hem of your shirt to dry your face. You try to style your hair a bit by wetting your fingers and running them through your hair. It is a useless attempt, seeing that your hair is completely flat and static from your mask. You try to make it look somewhat messy by flipping your head upside down and rummaging your fingers through the roots. Flipping your head back up, you leave it like that, accepting that you're not going to be able to fix the mess on your head without showering anyway.

You stare at your exposed face once more, eyes glancing over towards your scar. You run your finger along the thick straight line that starts above your left eyebrow and ends underneath your right eye. You sigh. It brings back memories from the past anytime you look at it for too long, so you turn away from the mirror and walk out of the bathroom. You silently pray to God that the people here will spare you on your first day, not immediately bombarding you with looks or questions about how you got that massive scar on your face. That's a story for another time.

You were walking down a corridor that led to the common area. Your heart started pumping faster once you heard the muffled sounds of talking soldiers getting louder. For some reason, you were quite nervous to meet your new team. Normally you wouldn't give a shit, but you felt more vulnerable without your mask. It was the first time you decided to keep it off while meeting new people, making you feel both proud and nervous at the same time.

The doors to the common area were wide open, waiting for you to make your way inside. You take one last deep breath before you walk in. The sound of your heavy boots against the floor makes the people inside turn their heads towards the doorway. The room fell completely silent. A forced smile appeared on your face as an attempt to break through the awkward atmosphere that you just created. You were happy to the familiar man with the mohawk in the corner of the room. He had his back turned towards you as he was talking to Ghost, who stopped talking the moment he laid his eyes on you. It caused Soap to turn his head around to look at what caused the sudden silence. A sudden call of your codename surprises you.

"Viper!"

Soap walks away from Ghost, quickly grabbing something from a crate before walking over to you. The small smile on your face turns into a genuine one as you notice that he's holding two MREs. 

"I didn't think you were still coming, I honestly thought you fell asleep," he smiled, handing one MRE over to you. You thank him before speaking up.

"I almost did, but then I remembered your offer. I also never turn down food." Soap smiles at your remembrance of his comment.

"A woman to my heart. Don't expect a five-star meal tho, but it's filling," he tells you while ripping open his MRE. You try to focus on opening yours, but you can feel multiple pairs of eyes on you. You quickly glance up to look around the room, noticing that some men have returned to eating while some are still looking at you like you're a circus animal. A sudden idea pops into your head. You mockingly stare back at the ones that are still looking at you, making them quickly turn their heads away from you in embarrassment. Your eyes naturally glance over to the masked man who's still standing where Soap once stood. He's the only one not paying any attention to you. A huff escapes your lips, causing Soap to look at you before looking around the room himself.

"They're not used to seeing a woman here. Don't worry, they won't try anything. I bet you can scare 'em off with your skills anyway," he starts. "The guys are not too bad if you get to know 'em. In fact, I haven't even introduced you yet. Come on," he tells you while turning around to make his way towards a table with four men. You follow him, taking your recently unpacked MRE with you.

Soap sits down in between two men, ushering one of them away to make space for you. You hesitantly sit down, squeezing yourself on the tight bench next to Soap. Three men are seated in front of you, all occupied with their food. He clears his throat, demanding attention from the guys at the table. 

"Guys! Meet Viper, our newest addition to the team."

You share a look with the other men, who nod their heads towards you in acknowledgement. You return the action, a soft 'hello' leaving your lips. You take a bite from your beef stew, which to your surprise is actually quite okay.

"Are you the Shadow they sent?" A guy with a cap opposite you asks suddenly, making you look up towards him. His expression turns into a slightly embarrassed one when he realises how abrupt that sounded. "Sorry, that was a bit rude. I'm Gaz," the guy says while extending his hand for you to shake it, which you kindly accept.

"Viper, but I think you already knew that," you joke, making him smile. You put your fork down before continuing. "I am indeed part of the Shadow Company. Served at their base for six months before being sent here. I was, well, am a sniper, but my expertise was more needed here than in the United States," you say, intentionally leaving out the part of you being a backup sniper for most of those months.

Suddenly, a loud scoff is heard coming from another table.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly is your expertise, my lady?" A guy at the end of the other table asks you in a derogatory way.

Your head snaps towards him. Soap and Gaz are staring daggers at the man who just made that comment. As a woman in the army, you were used to degrading talk from men all the time. They always thought they knew better than you and sometimes went as far as refusing to take orders from you. And here you find yet another great example to add to your endless list of annoying encounters with men.

You decide to stay calm, not feeling like throwing a fit on your first day. Instead, you opt for the safer option: giving him an honest, compelling answer to his question.

"Assassinating targets to 2500 feet away with one bullet to the head."

"Yeah right, and I can stop a bullet with my bare hands," the man laughs, causing some other guys at his table to laugh as well. You take another bite of your beef stew, giving him a fake surprised look.

"Wow, good for you," you tell him sarcastically while chewing. The guy's smile faded when he realised you couldn't care less about him. He was now starting to get annoyed, scooting closer towards you. He put his hands on his knees as he tried to give you an intimidating look. With the emphasis on tried, because he looked all but intimidating.

"Is that how you got that thing on your face? Guess you missed one of those so-called far-away targets?"

"Man, shut up," Soap told the guy sternly. 

You slowly put down your fork as frustration started to build up inside you. You took a deep breath while staring in front of you, trying your best not to explode with anger. A loud huff escapes your lips as you can't contain your annoyance any longer. 

"Listen here, you little shi-"

"Viper doesn't miss far-away targets, Henderson. That's why she's been hired to kill Hassan, and not you." 

You hadn't realised that Captain Price had come into the room, towering over the foul-mouthed private from behind. You look up at him, noticing that he's giving you a side-eye, one that tells you to keep calm. The man who you now know is named Henderson turns around and gives Price an annoyed look. He opens his mouth to say something, but he's quick to understand not to talk back to his superior. Instead, he turns back to you, staring daggers at you before getting up and walking away. He mutters something under his breath, something you can't hear. Price's eyes follow him until he's left the room, before turning to face you.

"Sorry about that, kid. Some men can't handle the fact that a female has a better shot than them."

You shrug. "It's fine. I'm used to it anyway."

"Well, forget him. He'll probably kick himself in the nuts when he finds out you can actually do what you say," Price tells you. You let out a slight chuckle while looking up at him. 

"Thanks, Captain."

Price pats your shoulder before turning around and walking towards the crate with the MREs. You notice Ghost is still standing in the same spot, but he has now focused his full attention on you. Your eyes meet for a brief moment before you look away, that weird feeling in your gut returning again.

"I fuckin' hate that bloke Henderson man, I swear to god," Soap suddenly says, making you turn your head towards him. "He always thinks he's better than everyone. I don't hate people fast, but if I do they have to be really fuckin' annoying."

"We need to put him in place sometime," Gaz suggests.

"Agreed. Throw a flash grenade at him during practice or something," Soap says while nodding his head.

You are slightly amused by this hatred towards the guy who just tried to bring you down. You've just met these people and they're already standing up for you. 

"Guys, just leave it. It'll happen again anyway," you shrug. Soap and Gaz shoot their heads towards you, giving you a confused look.

"Oh no, no, no... not on my watch," Gaz states. Soap agrees.

"He'll have to go past me first. Let's see if he can stop my fist with his bare hands." You chuckle while taking another bite of your beef stew. Soap shoots you an offended look.

"Hey, I'm being serious here!"

"You guys are sounding like my two older brothers. If I had them, that is. Thank you, but I can stand up for myself, you know," you tell them with a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah, you're probably right," Soap says, stuffing his mouth with a spoonful of the chocolate pudding that was included in his MRE.

"But you kept sitting down, tho," Gaz suddenly says, suppressing a laugh. You give him a confused look.

"What?"

"You just said you can stand up for yourself. But you kept sitting down," he explains, his lips in a thin line from trying not to crack a smile. It's Soap who starts choking on his chocolate pudding that makes Gaz burst into laughter.

You glare at both of them, trying to give them an annoyed look but their laughter is making you crack up as well. The three of you just sit there, laughing over a stupid joke.

"Is this how it's going to be during my time here? Puns and dad jokes at the most random times?" you ask through laughter. Soap and Gaz nod simultaneously before Soap speaks up.

"Trust me, you haven't heard anything yet."

Soap was not joking when he said the guys can snore like bears.

You had been trying to fall asleep for the past three and a half hours, occasionally succeeding but getting awoken by the loudest snores coming from all sides of the room. 

You were currently staring up at the bed above you, counting the number of slats of the slatted base over and over again. You noticed how the bed slightly dipped in the middle from the weight of the soldier sleeping above you. A loud sigh escaped your lips as you pulled the cover over your shoulders.

Your first day at the safehouse was surprising, to say the least. The warm welcome from Price, Soap and Gaz made you feel accepted here almost immediately. They were being so nice to you, showing you around and standing up for you. That dickhead of a Henderson didn't ruin your day completely, although he made you feel a bit shitty when he mentioned your scar. Or well, he referred to it as that thing. You weren't proud of it either, but it deserved a bit more respect than that. You deserved more respect than that.

You also couldn't seem to get your mind off of Ghost for some reason. The way he stared you down when you first arrived made you feel unwanted and wanted at the same time. He had this look in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. His eyes spoke when you caught a glimpse of them in the common room during dinner, yet they said so little. He intrigued you, even though you hadn't said a word to him yet. 

You didn't understand why you felt this way. Was it the mask? Was it his mysterious look? You've always had a thing for mysterious men, somehow getting drawn to them and their secretive and inexplicable manners. But that wasn't always a good thing either, so you learned the hard way.

The thought of Ghost made you look around the room. You furrowed your eyebrows as you remembered that you hadn't seen him come in or get ready to go to sleep. In fact, you hadn't seen him at all after he caught your eye after the altercation with Henderson. You propped yourself on your elbows to look around to room. You squinted your eyes as you tried to see in the dark. You were surprised to find one empty lower bunk bed, all the way at the end of the room. The sheets were still neatly tucked into the sides and end of the bed as if they hadn't been touched all day.  The skeleton gloves on the pillow made you assume that the bed belonged to Ghost. You stare at the empty bed for a while, before being rudely ripped out of your thoughts by a deafening snore coming from Soap's direction. You roll your eyes and let out an irritated sigh before resting your head back on your pillow.

You push the sides of your pillow against your ears to muffle the sounds of snoring. The first thing you were going to do tomorrow was asking Price for a pair of earplugs. You had hoped to be knocked out the moment your body touched the bed, seeing you were quite tired this afternoon. Accepting your fate of not getting a good night's sleep right now, you decide to get up. 

You scoot towards the edge of your bed, your feet hitting the cold concrete of the ground. You hesitate to get out for a second, but you know from experience that a short walk can do so many wonders when you're not able to sleep.

You look at your tactical boots underneath your bed, a bit hesitant to put them on. You were only wearing a long sleved shirt and thin joggers, putting on the tactical boots was going to make you look like a clown. But who cares, it's not like someone was awake to judge you.

You put them on, not caring to tie the laces. You slowly rise from your bed, careful not to make any noise. The sound of your combat boots on the concrete floor is a bit too loud for your liking, but you'd be surprised if these guys were even able to wake up if there was a fire.

You almost tip-toe towards the corridor, relaxing your step once you turn the corner. You have no idea where you're going, you just wanted to get out of your bed for a bit.

Looking straight ahead, you notice that the steel door that leads towards the outside is ajar. You furrow your eyebrows, not sure if that's supposed to be open like that. Your curiosity drives your legs towards the door, the tiniest breath of fresh air hitting your face as you approach the small opening.

You slightly push against the door to peek outside. It's pitch black, since - for safety reasons - there is no light illuminating the front of the safehouse. You slip through the crack, keeping your hand on the door to not lose sight of the entrance.

The air outside is nice, much better than the scorching dry heat from during the day. The occasional gust of wind cools your skin, making you close your eyes for a moment as you enjoy the feeling of the wind through your hair.

The sudden sound of a deep voice jerks you out of your peaceful moment.

"You shouldn't be out here."

You jump as the sudden voice scares the shit out of you. You frantically look around, trying to find the source in the dark but failing. A glimmer of white to your left catches your eye. You squint at it, your eyes slowly adjusting as a broad figure leaning against the wall comes into sight. He's staring straight ahead. Your breath hitches in your throat as you realise who it is.

"Lieutenant, you almost gave me a heart attack," you tell Ghost, trying to catch your breath from the scare.

"At least it'll be a natural cause and not a bullet to your head," he suddenly says. You look at him confused.

"What?"

"As I said, you shouldn't be out here. Especially by yourself."

"Well I'm not by myself now, am I?"

You notice him turning his head towards you, taking in your appearance. You stand there awkwardly, covering yourself with your arms. The wind has made your nipples see through your shirt, for which you pray to God your lieutenant doesn't notice.

The light from inside the safehouse illuminates his eyes just enough for you the see them behind the mask. He gives you another look that you can't quite place and stays dead silent. You decide to speak up.

"I don't think I've properly introduced myself yet. I'm Viper," you tell him, extending your hand. For some reason it's slightly shaking, making you curse at yourself for looking so foolish. Your make-shift pyjamas, the combat boots, your uncombed hair... you weren't particularly looking your best right now.

Ghost looks at your hand, but he refuses to shake it.

"I know who you are."

He returns his gaze forward. You slowly drop your hand, getting a bit annoyed at his rudeness.

"Alright then. And you are?" you ask him, even though you clearly know that already.

"You just called me your lieutenant, so I think you are very much aware of that."

A huff escapes your lips. Your first time talking to your lieutenant and new partner, and he's already acting like a dick? Tell me something new about men.

"Well, if it's not safe to be out here then why are you here?" you ask him, trying to make conversation despite your annoyance.

"That's classified."

You snort, causing him to look your way again. Your eyes meet for a second, immediately shutting you up when you notice that he's not joking. He turns his head again to focus his gaze on the black abyss in front of him.

"If you say so. Don't you need sleep?"

"I don't sleep."

"Then how are you alive?"

"I barely am."

You couldn't tell if he was joking or not, the monotone sound of his voice not containing any emotion. You decide to leave it, opening your mouth to speak again.

"What is your-"

"Why are you asking me so many bloody questions?" Ghost rudely cuts you off, letting out an irritated sigh. You scoff, not letting this man think for a second that he can talk to you like that.

"Why are you being so rude?" you mock him, to which he turns his head towards you. He stares at you, not breaking eye contact once. He pushes himself off the wall, slowly making his way over to you. He stops a few feet away from you, his physique towering over you. The shadow from his tall and broad body covers you, making you look up at him.

"I'm straight to the point, not rude. Get used to it."

Oh, the number of times you've heard men say they're 'straight to the point' as an excuse to talk down on you. You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms in front of your chest while giving Ghost a challenging look.

"Any other things I need to get used to?"

His eyes squint.

"Sorry?"

"Oh, don't apologize. As your new partner, are there any other things I should be aware of while working with you? Or is that classified too?"

The sarcastic tone with which those words flew off your tongue made you quite proud of yourself. You've learned to never let a man talk down on you, so regenerating a quick response got easier over the years. You swore you could see a hint of amusement in Ghost's eyes, but it faded just as fast.

"I didn't need a partner in the first place."

"Yeah, me neither. But it seems like we're stuck with each other until Hassan has a bullet in his skull. Then I can fuck off back to America and you can continue your harsh ways as you please."

Ghost stares at you intently, like he's trying to find something behind those (e/c) eyes of yours. You, not being intimidated by his piercing brown eyes staring into your own, put a hand on your hip and speak up again.

"So, grumpy because working together with me. Noted." you say, making a ticking-the-box motion in the air. Ghost scoffs ever so slightly, making you confused as to whether that was a laugh or a real scoff. His mask covered any signs of amusement on his face, so you suppose it's the latter.

"Listen, just follow orders and don't annoy me. Right now, you're starting to do a pretty good job at the latter already," Ghost tells you, turning around to make his way back to where he was standing.

"Christ, ever heard of sarcasm?"

"Sarcasm or not, it's still annoying. It's interrupting my duties."

You look around, confused as to what duties he is talking about at this hour. The sound of his tactical gear brushing against brick rings in your ears as he takes his stance back against the wall.

"Well, good thing you don't have any right now then."

"Who says I don't? Just because you don't see them doesn't mean I don't have them."

You nod, deciding not to argue with him about that since you knew he was probably right. You stand there in awkward silence for a couple of seconds, neither of you speaking up. You look down towards your boots who have been sprinkled with a light beige by the dust of the desert. Ghost's voice catches your attention.

"You're playing with your own safety by being out here. Go back inside. That's an order."

He didn't look at you while he said that, as he continued to stare ahead. You look at him, for some reason hoping that he'd take one last glance at you. He doesn't, causing you to look around the perimeter one last time. You take a deep breath of the chilly nightly desert air, as you position your hand against your head, sarcastically saluting your lieutenant.

"Aye, aye, captain, I mean, lieutenant."

You turn your back towards him, making your way inside. You grab the door handle, slamming the door closed a little too loud for the hour.

This is going to be one hell of a ride.

~

PREVIOUS CHAPTER - NEXT CHAPTER

a/n: This chapter was so hard to write lol. I kept rewriting the bit where Viper and Ghost meet cuz I wasn't too sure about it. I hope you guys liked it anyway. In the next chapter, we will learn more about the thoughts and feelings of the mysterious masked man himself ieieieie

[pebblysand]

HERE WE GO! WELCOME TO THE PAGE PALS PROJECT! THIS IS YOUR CONVERSATION STARTER FOR CHAPTER ONE. FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ASKS OR JOIN THE DISCORD FOR MORE!

HANDY LINKS/INFO:

chapter: i. out of sand (baby girl)

wordcount: 10, 157

playlist: notes here

castles FAQ: here

g e n e r a l t h o u g h t s:

I felt very emotional, beginning this chapter. There is a sense of finality in this project that I hadn't quite grasped before. This is - in all probability - the last time I read this fic. This is the last time I read this chapter. A chapter I have read dozens of times in the past few years - every time I was stuck, every time I needed to 'get back in.' Most of these paragraphs roll off the tip of my tongue when I read them out loud, because I've seen them so many times. And, I know that for you, reading this, this might not be the last time. Because you will go back, re-read this fic as many times as you like for as long as the internet exists. But I won't. That's not how my brain works, and I need to put projects behind me. To make room for new ones. And, so there is a sense of excitement, yes, reaching the end, but also a sense of grief.

If everything goes well, and if I do post the last chapter when I intend to, castles will have been four years of my life, almost to the day. COVID came and went, so did a couple of jobs, a relationship, a parent. I recently listened to an interview from Alexandre Astier where he described meeting someone in a supermarket once, who asked for an autograph for her husband. 'Ah, he's a massive fan,' she said. 'Though, to be honest, I never got into your work myself.' He was talking about how, for 'normal' people, people who aren't artists, someone else's art is just that: something that you like or don't like. But, for us, it's a part of ourselves. It's thousands of hours of work. And, sometimes, I wonder what castles says about me. What these thousands of hours have come down to. If I die tomorrow, which I hope I do not, this is one the things that I will leave behind me. And, so: what does it say about me? I mean: beyond the politics and the feminism and the quirky little interests. I mean: me, as a person. What do castles readers know about me? I'm not sure I even want to know.

t h e r e - r e a d:

I really enjoyed re-reading this chapter. It's funny to me how for you guys, depending on when you started the fic, you might have read multiple versions of this. I didn't make any big changes, nothing massive, but I did add a couple of scenes/lines here and there throughout the years, I'm curious to see whether you will notice.

in terms of the chapter itself, i think one of the things i like most about it is how it flows. it has that very distinctive castles prose to it, with the timeline that moves back and forth, the run-on sentences, the spiralling in and out of scenes. i recently got a comment on ff.net (lol) that said the chapter was messy and unreadable. and i think in a way, i like that. because frankly, if that bothers you in chapter 1, then you're probably not the right person for this fic, you know? i think chapter one serves its function well. a first chapter is supposed to be an intro, a taste of what you will read next, and i think it is perfect in that. it introduces the plot, the dynamic between the characters. it's long enough to signal that this isn't a fic where you'll read fifteen chapters in half an hour. i think you can read chapter one and tell if this is a fic you'll enjoy or not. and, that's what i want, really. that's what a first chapter should do.

having said that, i think there are two things i want to specifically dive into.

t h e h y p o:

early in the writing of castles, i used to get a lot of criticism about my version of post-war harry and ginny. particularly, there seems to be a subsection of the hinny-shipping crowd that basically thinks that harry and ginny would just meet after the war, scream at each other (or, that at least, ginny would be angry at harry for leaving her behind), kiss and make up, and pour their hearts out to each other about past events. specifically, these people believe that ginny is very good at weeding secrets out of harry, at getting him to talk, and thus the events of castles are not canon compliant with both of these characters.

i feel like objectively, it's not really my place to say whether that's correct. i think multiple versions of the same thing can be 'correct' depending on how you write them. but, if that's what floats your boat, if you have a very strong headcanon about this, then fine - by all means, go read something else (again, that's also the point of chapter 1). but i think this hypothesis sort of stuck in my head for a while, in light of the comments i was getting, because i couldn't help but wonder if that version of things isn't simply an idealised version of reality.

because, to read the books strictly: 1) ginny's anger at harry isn't obvious. you could argue it is there but she's actually quite calm in the break up scene. i am not sure she is that angry with him, especially when you think that she's just been through a war, lost a brother, etc. i think ginny is someone who knows there is a time and place for anger, and who is also incredibly strong and resilient. she still kisses him even after the break-up, after he's clearly decided to leave her behind , so i'm not sure she would lash out in these circumstances. additionally, 2) there's actually not that much evidence that harry and ginny talk to each other - ever. they're a hot and heavy thing, but they don't share much emotional stuff on screen. you can interpret the 'sunlit days' however you want, in the absence of further information, but it's not a given that ginny ever shares anything of importance about her past or her traumas, like what happened with tom. the one scene everyone always points to is the 'lucky you' scene, but that's a mutual understanding more than it is a conversation. she actually never mentions anything beyond very utilitarian details meant to help harry realise he's not being possessed. and, harry never canonically tells ginny about anything of importance in his life either.

and so what all of these comments drove me to do, a few months ago (i think i added this in september 2023) was to link that to the theme of those early chapters of castles. because one of the key elements of chapters 1-3, specifically, is this idea of the lifeline. of the way harry and ginny have spent months, at this point, idealising each other, idealising their reunion, for it to later come crashing down on them. and so i thought i would use the opportunity of chapter one to 1) try and address the 'criticism' above, and 2) make it fit within the world of castles. it led to this:

In his head, their reunion would have been something sweet, like her lips moving against his, the taste of the raspberry-flavoured lip balm she used to wear the year before. He would have confessed to all of his sins, to almost dying, to Hallows and Horcruxes, to the fear and the nightmares, to leaving her behind. ‘I’m sorry,’ he would have said. ‘I am so, so sorry.’  And, he would have tried to explain like he did last year, that all he ever wanted was to protect her, to keep her safe, and she would have yelled. Shouted at the top of her lungs in a rapid succession of angry jabs about what an arsehole he was. ‘I can take care of myself!’ she would have thrown back. ‘You left me!’  He would have looked to his feet. With time, he hopes that they would have fixed it. In reality, though, Ginny Weasley hands him a toothbrush that morning, as he sits back on his heels. Her stare digs holes into the side of his face and he wonders if, had he been Hermione or Luna (had he been a friend, still), she would have cajoled him. Handed him a wet towel for his forehead. Instead, she closes the door behind her on her way out. ‘You should shower,’ she says.

i love the sort of whiplash effect this scenes gives, of the fantasy v. post-war reality, which is obviously a massive theme in castles. and i also love the way it subtly signals that ginny might have changed (just like he has) throughout the war. because, obviously, she has, and we later find out why.

s e x a n d f u n e r a l s:

i cannot express how attached i am to that scene, and to that line in particular. i think there's a number of reasons for this:

first, it's the line that basically motivated me to start castles for real in 2020. i have said this before in other posts but i started drafting some sort of post-war hinny fic as early as 2007. i never finished anything, then when i was 17 (2010), i did a re-read and actually drafted something new. then dropped it again. and, that file transferred from laptop to laptop, from file to file for ten years without me touching it much. until covid came and i was looking through my drive, and i tenderly read what 17-year-old me had written back then, including this 'first time' sex scene which, to be honest, has mostly remained untouched in the final version of this. and, i remember finding it, reading it, and thinking the rest of what i had written was a bit cringe, but that one scene seemed to work. and then, i got to the (now famous) line: to him, the spring of '98 is about sex and funerals, and thought fuck, that's a good line. like, a really good line. and i didn't want to let it go to waste. and, so, four years later, here we are.

i think that line is a very good symbol of what this story is about. 'sex and funerals' - it's a metaphor for how life is about the good and the bad things. that they co-exist as one single entity, and that the beauty of what we do, of the way we live, resides somewhere in between. it's why i chose it as the summary back then, and why it is still the summary now. i really built the entire fic around that line. so, yeah, 17-year-old jo, you already had something going for you, darling.

l a s t l y:

a thought i had while re-reading (and please don't come at me for this), is that... this could have been a one-shot. like, it really could have. i finished chapter 1 and there's a sort of finality to it, isn't there? like, i'm glad i continued this fic, but part of me thinks that all i've been trying to say in the past four years actually is in this chapter. obviously, not as detailed or subtle, but it's there, you know? it could have been a one-shot, lmao.

but anyway, i'm curious, did you guys enjoy your re-read? did you notice the changes i made throughout the years? did you enjoy them? feel free to send me an ask or join the discord server to discuss. i'm so excited to get this discussion started and hear your thoughts!

[inklessletter]

I think I've seen this film before (and I didn't like the ending)

Read it on AO3

Both Robin and Steve know that Dustin shipped them. Hard. He was the first one to actually acknowledge how awesome Steve was, and how much of a badass Robin was, so obviously, he was the most insistent on getting them together. The fact that Robin and Steve spent all of their time together, had internal jokes, teased each other constantly, Steve drove her around, had dinner at Robin's a few times a week and, practically shared the same braincell, hadn't definitely helped for Dustin's annoying dynamic to spread to the party. Soon, everyone else was dropping hints about when they were going to publicly announce that they were a couple.

It's something Robin dealt with also at home. Steve didn't lie when he proudly said "parents love me, I'm a catch," because Robin's parents actually do love him. They also seemed eager for their daughter to tell them that they were dating.

Her parents are something she can deal with on her own, but after two apocalypses together, and frankly quite bored of the same joke over and over again, Robin started noticing something in Steve. And see, Robin has a lot of great qualities, but if there's something above all that, it's that she's wicked smart.

So, she started paying attention to their tease, trying to understand why this dynamic was now affecting his very much platonic soulmate out of the sudden, and she fully understood a new layer of Steve.

And fucking hated it.

Although they shared almost everything, she didn't go straight to Steve to talk about it; she knew him well enough to know beforehand not to press him into talking about something he wasn't ready to share yet, even with her.

So the next time they teased them (soon enough, because, c'mon, get new material, bozos) she dropped the smile and asked them, begged them to just stop. It wasn't funny anymore, if it ever was.

And their stupid kids were, well, kids, and also stupid, and didn't pick up. So they continued to tease them, and Robin's patience started to grow thin. But she kept repeating to herself: they're kids, they're just kids, they're dumb by default. So she kept asking them to please, please, drop it.

And see, she can deal with stupid kids, but she drew the line on inconsiderate shitheads (and after two years of saying no, Robin reconsidered their idiocy; they were being plain mean now). So, when Dustin pried about how boring it was that they kept their relationship a secret, in front of the whole gang, again, Robin snapped.

"Who is it, Dustin?" Robin asked, curious expression.

"Who is what?"

"Who are you crushing on, me or Steve?"

"What the hell, Robin? I don't have a crush on any of you!" Dustin said, almost offended. "What's wrong with you?"

"You see, Dusty-bun, after a year and a half of prying non-stop about how crazy is that we are not sucking face and absolutely not believing it, my guesses are that you consider that one of us is so painfully irresistible that we must be obviously lying when we tell you that we are not together. So, cut the jealous crap and please tell me whose name you whisper at night, huh? Is it me or Steve? I'm dying of curiosity here."

Dustin's cheeks went bright pink almost instantly. There was a brief silence in which Robin appreciated their faces with a smug smirk. Some of them were gapping, some holding a laughter. Nancy looked away with a tight smile. Eddie's face was priceless, he stopped whatever he was doing to attentively watch the upcoming scene. Only Steve looked really annoyed.

"What? Ew, gross. I don't whisper your name at night-"

"Steve's, then?"

"No! Robin, what's wrong with you!"

"Oh my god, look at you, you're blushing! You must definitely like him! Oh, is it both?"

"I don't like him , or you! I've got a girlfriend!"

"You're so red, Dustin. I just—I guess I just don't believe you."

Robin's smile grew wider when the rest of the party started picking on Dustin, too.

"I am just saying that you two are really close, there's obviously a vibe between you two, and it's fine! I don't know why you keep denying it. Even I can feel your electricity!" Dustin looked at Steve, who raised his eyebrows, clearly upset. "Is it because his ex is here? Nancy's over it—"

"Please, don't drag me into this."

"—and what you just implied is disgusting!"

And at this point of Dustin's rambling, her smile went off.

"Which part is disgusting, exactly?"

"That—That I think of you at night or whatever!" Dustin shouted, all dramatic.

"I mean, that's pretty disgusting," Lucas added.

"So, you don't have dirty thoughts, like, ever," Eddie muted, holding a mischievous smile.

"Why would I have dirty thoughts about them?"

"I don't know, why would we have dirty thoughts about each other?"

"Can we just stop saying 'dirty thoughts'?" Mike asked, grossed out.

"Because it's a cliché!" Dustin yelled, standing in front of her, suddenly, and completely ignoring Mike. "It's bound to happen! You're always in Steve's orbit, and you're getting pretty defensive about this, you must have a reason to—"

"To what? To not be jumping on his dick right now?"

At the mention of Steve's dick, the whole gang reacted. The youngest pulled disgusting faces, but clearly amused by the turn of this conversation. Eddie was no longer hiding how much fun this was, and he was giving his full attention. Nancy looked around, cheeks pink, not really knowing how to react. Steve, though, was mortified.

After the fuzz of complaints and comments stopped, Robin spoke again.

"I have a reason, though."

Steve looked at her.

"Robin-"

"And the reason is I don't like him that way, and he doesn't like me that way, and that should be enough. And begging you to stop just once should be also enough for you to be respectful about it, but you're not. It's beyond annoying now, it's hurtful, Dustin."

She spoke softer now, and stood from her spot.

Steve muttered "fuck this," and left the room. Eddie followed him. There was a charged silence after that.

"I know you maybe don't see it, but you are implying all the time that there's no other reason for us to be friends if it is not to get in each other's pants, like we have nothing else to offer. And maybe it is not my place to say, but Steve has spent the last few years trying to prove himself right all the time, and he cares about what you think because he loves you. So much. And he's not gonna tell you this, like, in a million years, and I'm breaking an unspoken vow of best friend here telling you, and I'll atone for it later, but if you keep going on with this crap he won't ever stop feeling worthless of being anyone's friend if there's nothing to get out of it."

"Robin, you know that's not what I mean." Dustin's voice was apologetic, sad.

"I know, but we asked you to stop, and you're not letting this go. This is not a riddle you have to figure out, this is just—"

Robin thought that maybe it was the moment for her to come out. If she told everyone now that she was a lesbian, they would drop it for good. She'd been thinking about it for a while now, but she didn't want to do it like this. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't.

Nancy was gazing at her with a knowing look, lips pursed. Robin didn't really tell Nancy about herself, but she seemed to understand. She was smart like that.

"Besides, I am—"

"Right. You're right," Nance stepped in. They shared a look, and Robin briefly smiled. "I think you owe them an apology."

Dustin looked bewildered. The kids were silent. Robin could read in their faces that they never thought about it this way. It took a few seconds for Dustin to recover, and Robin could swear she saw his eyes getting glassy.

"I'm sorry," Dustin said, low voice. "I'm going to—I'm going to talk to Steve."

Dustin left. Shortly after, the rest of the kids followed him, leaving Robin and Nancy alone.

"Steve is lucky to have you," Nancy said, with a soft smile, looking her straight in the eye. Robin felt her cheeks flush red. She looked down.

"I'm the lucky one, here," Robin said. "Thank you. For... for stopping me."

And then Robin's world crashed, because Nancy cupped her cheek, softly, and pressed a small kiss on the cheek.

"I've got your back."

With a smile and candid eyes, Nancy left the room, and Robin let herself fall where she was previously sitting, sighing dramatically.

She needed to talk to Steve.

Right now.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡ My thoughts on Yennskier + headcanons ♡

(Edited post)

- What makes this whole thing so funny and exciting to me is that Yennefer used to think that Jaskier was just some annoying sing songy twit before. While Jaskier's dramatic arse used to consider Yennefer an enemy until she saved him from Rience XD XD XD

- I adored the everliving FUCK out of their scenes together in season 2! Their dynamic is so fucking good! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

- Yennskier, the ship we didn't know we needed, but definitely deserved! Their chemistry is so fucking perfect and their dynamic works so well!

- Personally I think that this ship is actually, currently, THE healthiest and most wholesome one of all my Jaskier ships! At least as of season 2! (Even if Geraskier remains as my OTP)

- In Oxenfurt, when Jaskier and Yennefer got to know eachother better without Geralt's presence to distract them both, ever since they saw the real, raw and vulnerable sides of eachother and became friends, I couldn't help but notice how absolutely toothrottingly perfect they are together!

- Legit, and I kid you not! I can't picture Yennefer and Jaskier having anything other than that deep kind of connection where you know that you are loved, appreciated and adored, despite all your flaws. The kind of love where you know you're not alone, that this person is your family and will always have your back no matter what.

- Yennefer, despite being one of the most powerful sorceresses on the entire continent, treats Jaskier as an equal by the time Ciri gets possessed. (Bro, like even Geralt doesn't do that! Jaskier is his friend, sure, but I've never seen Geralt treating him as an equal.)

- Yennefer and Jaskier have a mutual respect for eachother, they trust eachother, they enjoy eachother's company. All of those things are A CRUCIAL part of having a solid foundation to build a honest, sturdy, long-lasting and happy relationship upon.

- From compatibility POV, they work together a lot better than Geralt and Yennefer did. With Jaskier, there are no djinn related consent issues, there wouldn't be any communication issues and he would probably be a positive influence on Yennefer's mental health.

- Whereas her relationship with Geralt was quite frankly chaotic, explosive, sometimes even toxic. It was built upon a shaky foundation of lust, djinn magic and exchanged favors. Like c'mon, their time together as an on-and-off couple mostly consisted of having kinky unicorn sex, trauma dumping, dealing with magical, gorey and insanely dangerous situations, then talking about said situations until they have a fight! Leaving eachother every time in the end because they can't seem to make it work long-term. They're incompatible because in canon, the only thing that finally made them stick together for good, was an orphaned girl in need of protection. It's not right, kind of like parents who are postponing their divorce until their daughter grows up :/

- Jaskier on the other hand, despite his magic-less ordinary humanity has a hilariously witty, optimistic, stupidly brave, highly empathetic, loyal and supportive personality. Yennefer would have an understanding partner who loves her, cherishes her, acceptc her for who she is without judgement nor pity. A partner who would make it his life's mission to help her see the good things this world has to offer, to make her happy because she deserves it!

- Damn it all, they both have been through enough, they both deserve a break. They actually GET eachother. I can already feel a drabble forming in my brain, set a week or so after the whole Voleth Mier shebang, Jaskier is struggling with PTSD and nightmares about Rience, Yennefer is struggling with guilt and shame because she put Ciri in danger. So while Geralt is too busy with Ciri's training to be there for Jaskier and he feels too betrayed to be in Yennefer's company, neither Yen nor Jask have anyone to turn to in Kaer Morhen, except eachother. Three months confined to a witcher keep together? Now that is a LOT of time to spend with someone you can be openly vulnerable around, bond with, heal and share joy with, unexpectedly falling in love....

- Yennefer too is an extremely good match for Jaskier, it's almost uncanny how much she completes him! Jaskier would finally have an understanding and loving partner who truly saw him when others didn't bother. And Yennefer liked what she saw, the familiar face of a simple human bard who offered kindness and compassion to strangers even if it could kill him. She saw courage, honesty, forgiveness and so much good, a collection of rare qualities she had never thought could exist within one single person all at once. After Voleth Mier, all that goodness was given to her so freely, it is still being given to her everyday, so she knows a treasure when it looks her right in the eyes with such easy warmth. She would make it her life's mission to cling onto him with everything she's got, to love and cherish him the way he deserves, to protect the only person she deems worthy of holding her heart!

- They have a lot in common too. From both having a knack for fashion, both being mischievous little shits at heart and both having high standards when it comes to personal hygiene. To also having similar tastes in both alcohol, humor, luxury and entertainment.....if Yennefer's kinky orgy party and Jaskier's reputation as the biggest slut on the continent is anything to go by.

- Speaking of sex, both of them having a high libido and exceptional skills in bed aside, they're fucking GORGEOUS people! Why wouldn't they find eachother attractive?

- Yennefer is basically a Goddess, beauty personified! She is elegant and breathtaking, everyone knows it.

- However, since a majority of the Witcher fandom usually dismisses Jaskier in favor of simping for Geralt, I can, I must and I WILL gush about how pretty Jaskier is! Cuz clearly some of them bitches be blind, Yennefer is one lucky witch!

- Jaskier is like only 1,5 inches shorter than his grouchy snowman friend. Meaning he is tall as all hell and he definitely isn't lacking in the muscle department either, that bard is jacked yo. His voice is soothing and his vocabulary is extensive enough to make the most experienced of whores blush from pillow talk. He has VERY soft looking hair and he has one of the most angelic fucking faces I've ever seen. His eyes are the clearest shade of blue and his expressions + mannerisms are absolutely adorable! Ok, I'm done gushing, onto the next point....

- Unlike Jaskier, I don't think I have a dummy thick enough of a vocabulary to express how much dopamine Yennskier fanfics give me, more specifically when their husband and wife act from Oxenfurt becomes an inside joke for them, leaving the rest of Kaer Morhen's inhabitants confused as fuck.

- Geralt getting a bit jealous? His brothers wondering when that could have happened? Ciri feeling bamboozled as well?

- It's all shits and giggles until somebody giggles and shits. It won't take long until their inside joke is no longer a joke. They already bicker like a married couple anyway XD

- I can not help but also headcanon Jaskier as not fully human. It would be sad if he up and died on his dear immortal wife. I don't necessarily picture him having chaos or other powers in this scenario, but when I do, I think that they would discover them together on accident.

[stupendousfoxthing]

To your last anon, I always thought that hybe would have loved to monetize on tk's huge clout together if that didn't posit a risk( they are a corporation it's all about clout and money) i know people think differently as in them being shown together wouldn't have been risky but if they were the official company ship the ppl who like them as a couple would have been the triple than they are now, that means more people paying attention to them in that context, more ppl who wants to find something more, just like jikookers do, the difference? Jikookers won't find anything ever bc there's nothing to find, they are friends and bandmates, so them being the official company ship is as safe as it can be, tk's case is not the same.

Now it's funny bc the moment the tae//nnie bs started I told my friend that we probably could except a bit more of tk content coming from the company and I wasn't disappointed lmao, this is my view: thanks to that rouse Tae is seen by the world as a straight man who was/is (many locals dont even know about the break up news)in a relationship with a female idol and that also takes off legitimacy from the ppl who noticed stuff about him and his bandmate, it's just shippers delusions, even many ppl who suspected tk left the wagon after that.

So yeah I think hybe can afford to slightly show them more and monetize (and that also includes aiming to not lose much of the many different demographics that "consume" the BTS members during their absence and shippers are part of the this) that compared to before and still in a very controlled way, there is a bit of a risk mitigation with this companies' pushed rumor which is of course still not enough and hence the still controlled bc the risk is still present and as you said we have to take into account tk themselves, their priority is protecting what's important to them too, if you see the most content from the company we have seen of them together lately is just them being close (which they always were);and supporting each other, nothing super big or elaborated, not them putting on a show or being put on a show or anything, the only reason is noteworthy and has jikookers crying is bc years ago even that was something that wasn't shown (eg burn the stage etc).

I have a lot more opinions on the company's way of moving but I'm keeping it short 🫶

There are so many interesting layers to the way the company deals with Taekook, and to how the fandom perceives and feels about them. Where a lot of Taekookers think they've been too extreme in underselling or undermining their bond in official content, I don't think it's been quite as bad as most do. They still get featured quite a bit, I mean BV and In the Soop have shown us some classic Taekook moments. And they did start out capitalizing on that, the Bon Voyage cuddle was teased in promo images and then eventually included in bonus content. That moment making it into official content still blows my mind. I think it's a pretty intimate moment, I've gone over the clip so many times and believe there are kisses exchanged. It's wild. But 2016 is where the most noticeable shift happened. At the same time, I have also felt they do a little too much at times with the editing and it results in some weirdness, and that because heteronormativity covers for _a lot_ they could probably get away with showing more. That bias is so strong and engrained in everyone. But you make a great point about there being an added inherent risk for something that would need to be hidden, even if it's something most people would brush off. Like I've said before, I'm not a fan of the company for many reasons but if what they're doing is what they actually think is the best way of protecting them it's easily understandable. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, sorry it took so long for me to get to answering this.

[osamusbigtits]

the bed of osamu's old pick-up truck is cold. the thin blanket and his shirt isn't enough to shield suna from the icy-cold plastic. osamu's warm hands and soft lips are enough to distract suna.

suna brings his hand to the back of osamu's neck, deepening this kiss.

"are you sure we won't get caught?" suna asks, voice barely above a whisper. he looks up at osamu, eyes wide, before looking around the empty plot of land that surrounds them.

"i promise, rin," osamu whispers back. he places a quick kiss to suna's chin.

suna leans up and catches osamu's lips in another kiss. he could kiss osamu for hours.

but the way osamu presses his bulge against suna's leg reminds suna of the real reason why they're here. in the bed of this old pick-up truck, in some middle-of-nowhere backyard.

it makes suna a little nervous. he's wanted it for so long, they've been dancing around this moment. either they've gotten interrupted or they just haven't had the time.

of course there have been quick moments. mutual hand jobs, a couple blow jobs here and there.

"samu," suna breathes out. "need you."

osamu's hips jerk against suna's thigh and suna laughs. "you're gonna kill me, rin," osamu mutters against suna's lips.

"not before you fuck me."

osamu laughs and kisses suna again. a chaste kiss before he pulls back.

suna watches as osamu unzips his pants. it's nothing suna hasn't seen before, but he still loses his breath. he wants and he needs in a way he hasn't ever felt before.

osamu chuckles, his face flushed red. "you gotta stop looking at me like that."

"like what?"

"like you want to eat me alive."

suna breathes out. "i think i do, though."

osamu shudders. "fuck."

suna reaches down to unbutton his own pants and he starts to shimmy out of them. they don't fully remove their clothes, in case they do end up getting caught. and maybe that excitement, that risk makes suna a little bit more turned on by it all, even over his nerves.

although his nerves return in full force when osamu places himself between suna's thighs.

"you okay?" osamu asks, voice soft as his eyes study suna's face.

suna nods. he trusts osamu.

osamu reaches over suna to where their lube and condoms sit.

suna closes his eyes, breathing deep. he knows what's about to come. that initial stretch that always steals suna's breath. that uncomfortable, weird feeling he can't quite explain.

"okay?" osamu asks. his breathing his harsh against suna's cheek.

"wait- just." suna tenses slightly.

"relax, baby." osamu kisses suna's cheek. "I've got you. I know you."

suna focuses on his breathing. relaxing will make things feel better, he knows this. and he knows that osamu won't push him. osamu would wait hours for suna to give the okay.

"there you go," osamu whispers. he kisses suna, a quick kiss, before he rests his forehead against suna's.

suna hisses when osamu moves his finger, a gentle push and a slight pull.

"fuck. I dont think this will ever feel normal."

osamu laughs breathlessly. it makes suna a little dizzy.

a moan escapes suna's lips when osamu presses into that sweet spot that sends sparks up his spine. suna thought he had to have died and ascended the first time osamu hit it.

when osamu keeps hitting that spot, slow and careful. carefully adding another finger, all suna can focus on is this shockwaves coursing through his body.

"fuck, this is better than watching porn," osamu mutters. suna laughs. "shit. I didn't mean to say that."

"you're so funny." suna finally opens his eyes. osamu's face is bright red and his eyes are a little hazy, but wide open to watch every expression on suna's face.

"ready?" osamu asks softly.

"just- just a little bit more." osamu nods. "it's just- you're bigger than your fingers. if that makes sense. that sounds so weird-"

osamu quiets suna with a kiss. suna grabs osamu's arm and kisses him harder.

"shit, rin. I dont know if I can wait." osamu presses his forehead against suna's shoulder.

"okay, okay- just go slow." osamu perks up. "don't forget the condom."

osamu laughs. "right, right. I wasn't gonna forget."

suna winces as osamu removes his fingers. "I know you when you're only thinking with your dick."

"I forgot the lube one time, rin. once."

suna tries not to think about the slick sounds of osamu lubing up his dick. "one time too many."

"you're such an asshole."

"you love it."

osamu gives suna a soft look. "yeah. I do."

suna pushes osamu's face away as he leans in for a kiss. osamu scoffs and takes suna's hand.

"ready?"

suna nods. he's not sure if he is, but he doesn't want to stop. not yet. "slow." he says, hoping his anxiety doesn't show.

"I know, baby." osamu's voice is soft and sweet.

suna didn't think he could fall even more in love with osamu, but osamu proves him wrong everyday.

"okay," osamu says and nods. "okay."

"nervous?" suna asks.

osamu nods. "a little bit. yeah."

"me too."

"you're not the one getting a dick in your ass," suna mutters.

"we can switch-"

"no, it's fine. I'm fine, osamu."

"promise?"

suna nods and pulls osamu into a kiss.

even when suna knows its coming, it's still unexpected. he hisses at the stretch, eyes squeezed shut as he wills every part of his body to stay relaxed.

osamu breathes out a shakey moan, suna can feel his whole body twitching above him. "shit, holy fuck. rin. it's-" osamu continues to ramble on.

suna can't even focus on osamu's words, mind drawing a blank at everything. all he can do is feel. "more- I need-" suna gets cut off with an embarrassingly high-pitched moan when osamu pushes in farther.

"I'm not gonna- I can't, rin." osamu breathing turns rugged and suna swears he's going to explode.

suna feels like he can't catch his breath. he's never needed anything more in his life. the feeling surrounds him, filling his lungs, wrapping around his waist, shooting up his spine. everywhere osamu touches him is fire- dangerous yet so delicious. filling him with life.

suna laughs, unbridled joy flowing through him. and he laughs at osamu's rambling, just a little bit.

"don't laugh at me," osamu mutters.

"I'm not laughing at you." suna smiles at osamu.

"I love you so much." osamu kisses suna as he bottoms out.

suna breaks the kiss to throw his head back. osamu kisses suna's neck, his hand still holding suna's.

"you feel so good, rin. so fucking good. I don't think I'm gonna last."

suna breathes out harshly. "don't- don't move. just- touch me." his words are broken between breathes, trying to catch his thoughts. words fleeting.

it's weird to feel himself tighten around osamu. he can't help it when osamu wraps his hand around his cock. osamu moans and swears. "do that again, please."

suna doesn't even know how he did it, it just happened. but when osamu's hand starts to love up and down his shaft, suna can't help but tighten slightly.

osamu's hip jerk slightly and suna gasps. it's too much. it's all too much.

suna's eyes squeeze shut. the orgasm hits him hard, and he gasps and moans. osamu kisses suna, probably in an attempt to smother the loud moan.

another slight jerk of his hips, and osamu's moaning also. and suna knows that moan well- the broken off, whiny moan. it's music to suna's ears. made even sweeter by the fact he made osamu cum.

suna pants, his whole body relaxing.

"we're doing that again," osamu says. "and again and again."

"can we at least be in an actual bed next time? my back hurts."

osamu kisses suna instead of answering.

[sapphyreopal5]

Lol, jensen hitting a wall or saying son of the bitch is not equal to danneel belittling him for years, if he was abusive she wouldn't dare to treat him like this, an abused person would be sacred( surprisingly jensen seems to be scared of her reaction ) or using his ig account (which is a form of control). Jensen also doesn't seem to care about her at all and its seems like she is the one who want to hold the marriage and the idea of happy couples for her personal gains . I'm sorry but all the signs actually point towards her being the abusive at least emotionally.

Welcome back Anon. For the social media stuff, yeah we all know she goes on there. Funny how she doesn't really post family stuff on her own social media page these days, isn't it? Guess what, he isn't exactly taking proactive measures to keep her off his social media profiles, now is he? Change your passwords, require 2 step verification, log out of ALL devices, hide your devices (or get brand new ones with better security features), etc. It really isn't that hard if he wants her off his social media. I mean for all we know, he told her to start managing his social media page because he doesn't get along with phones and such. Not saying that's the case but point is, we just don't know.

Also, it was a door he kicked in, not him hitting a wall. Clearly you didn't watch either of the clips I put in one of my answers in the last couple hours. It was Jared who said he's always a yelling son of a bitch. It was Jensen after Jared said this is when he spoke of losing his cool with an old man saying "'LET'S GO OLD MAN" after he was walking in HIS way from not paying attention. The overall point here is, Jensen's destroyed other people's property and laughed about it and also has threatened older men and such over something quite petty. But riiiiiight, let's go ahead and assume Jensen is a textbook victim of domestic violence. I compared his and Danneel's situation with my own regarding my son's dad because I think it's a more accurate take on their situation. I think Danneel certainly doesn't hide her callous personality and shows us exactly who she is. Many abusers hide their real personalities, and many victims hide their situations from others out of fear. Thus why I say their case is NOT a straightforward perpetrator-victim case.

Lol whoever said I didn't agree she is not exhibiting bad behaviors that are potentially abusive? You're starting to annoy me Anon with your inability to exit your tunnel vision and think in terms of the big picture. I think that if you cannot read or watch a quick clip or two and are just gonna be argumentative for the hell of it, you need to so sit by the pool and have some drinks or something. Get off the phone or computer and touch some grass for chrissakes. You are giving a dumbass like Danneel way too much power and credit and Jensen not enough. Jensen certainly looked unhappy about her touching him and whatnot during the panel. Am I going to say any and all abusive behavior is a one way street between them? Hell no.

I think in terms of the big picture here. I've seen multiple interviews of theirs and I've seen some interestingly negative body language from both of their directions in response to "bantering" or things the other said. I don't spend all of my free time reading Tumblr posts to form the entirety of my opinions because I don't believe in copying others if I can help it. I'd rather think for myself rather than let others dictate what I should be thinking, thank you. I take allegations of abuse and the stories of victims quite seriously. You are being way too casual in your accusations and are doing all victims a disservice. Please, go sit by the pool and have some drinks. Have a wonderful day.

[amphiptere-art]

I will note this entire thing is currently unedited. I just wanted to post it before I had to go to work. Black Star uses exclusively they/them for Blue Moon. Which is currently not shown. A lot of the lunars should be replaced with crushed glow. The wording could be better. Yada yada yada. I will edit this thing later.

Lunar eclipse

Black Star wandered in the mind space of crushed glow. Some sort of lunar Blue Moon had taken. Apparently there are moon was cruel enough to trick them into helping them. Trapping them in his mind afterwards.

Blue Moon had reversed that. Trapping Moon in the same cage their lunar had been. Magical enchantments on top of course. Blue Moon's magic being unique enough not the moon hadn't broken out yet. Muffled and hidden so that crushed glow wouldn't try to get them back out.

Crushed glow had fallen asleep. Black Star had taken the moment. It was by far the best time. Finally locating the cage that kept the dark moon. He could barely see the scowling face inside. Although he could definitely see the shadow move in surprise. Probably speaking but only a muffled voice was heard.

"Well well. I'm surprised. Blue Moon was telling the truth. A moon really is trapped in here. And look at all these runes and coding keeping you back. I heard my moon didn't do anything but simply swap your places. Blue Moon already increased the security manually magic. I will say, quite a crafty cage. So sad it was for the wrong person."

The Moon behind the wall seem to get up. I'm waving their hands around while muffled yelling was heard. Blackstar simply chuckled as he began to Pace in front of the bickering moon.

"You know Blue Moon has seen the worst. But he's also seen it all. They've seen every little fraction of a world. How's things oh so slightly change. When I explained what my world was like, you know what they said. They said I was a main line. Apparently I'm so close to the standard. The only thing that change was that I got put in this little place. A world where eclipse never existed. Funny how much cruller it came out."

The moon behind the wall seem to realize none of his shouting was getting to them. Sitting back down while mumbling small retorts as Black Star continued his little speech.

"But then again compared to yours I think it's on the same margin. You trapped your lunar. You change the course of the main line. The line where you did not do as such. I apparently broke you."

The moon behind the wall seemed to stand up and slam a fists on the wall. Giving Black Star a chance to see what details he could gleam. Chuckling quietly at the outburst.

"Oh we both know that is true. Why else would you be so needlessly cruel. Lunar offered himself to you. Didn't he. He had too much of me and decided he would be in better arms than yours. Oh what a sore disappointment he had afterwards didn't he. Locked up in the same box You're in. I bet it feels depriving."

The moon behind the wall continue to bang and shout. Clearly disagreeing with Black Stars words.

"You've been in here for what? A couple of months at least. You already here before I arrived. So it's at least been, ahh, give or take 7 maybe 10 months for you? I think that's about the same amount of time You're a lunar was stuck in here. It doesn't feel good. Does it. And yet you still did it. You watched a being cry and big and laugh and love you. And yet you lock them away."

The banging had stopped. Although black star could feel the glare the moon behind the wall was giving him.

"I'm honestly surprised you took so much care to handle one little AI. I thought I was all you were worried about. Not some backup I made. Which reminds me. I've seen thousands of you. Or at least you're lunar's. Blue Moon's adopted, What? At least four of them. And every single time I hear the same excuse was given by you. Lunar wasn't sentient."

"And yet versions of you still torture them with intent. You left them here knowing that. Don't lie. I think a creature with the ability to go against a master is sentient enough. If I remember correctly he didn't even try to do anything afterwards. He was happy playing games with you. He wasn't trying anything to get me back. Hell he contracted blood moon. That one measly trainer who I could not control even if I wanted to."

"They brought back the thing that was my biggest enemy. And yet you still decided they were the bad guy. Oh I think I'm growing soft. Then again when you are suddenly the lowest ring of the food chain there isn't much you can do other than learn what gets you to survive. And trust me kindness helps you survive much longer."

"So many versions of your world perish because you decided to not be kind. You decided to not be kind to the nicest creature imaginable. You want to know how many versions of your world have been massacred by Blue Moon? Thousands. Hundreds and millions of them taken down by my brother. Yes apparently he's my brother. Anyways."

"There's versions of you that killed him. There's versions of you that trapped him in a nauseating void for years until he became nothing more than mindless. There's versions of you that torment him for your amusement. And Blue Moon has killed a version of every single one of them. Even the ones that hold the star. You know that big thing that makes a person untouchable. He's murdered versions of you with those right in their hands."

"You have so many worlds out for your head. I wonder if you've even seen a version of your son that is now an internal slave here. Yes there's a version of your brother that tried to kill a version of this lunar. Blue Moon decided to torment him all eternity. Treating him just like a version of yourself treated him. Isn't that funny."

Black Star was a bit winded for his rant. But he smiled at the wall with an energy. The moon behind it frozen.

"So many versions of you worried so much about him. You basically forgot about me. Honestly I'm surprised. It ruins my pride. So I'm going to make sure a version of you remembers who exactly started all this. Specifically you. Lucky."

"You know I heard you blame lunar for keeping you stuck in his head. You blame him. It appears you have forgotten, I was the one who placed him there. I was the one who made sure he stayed put. I was the one who made sure he knew exactly how to cause you ever loving pain. So. Let's have a jump to the past."

"This moon just switched your places. Blue Moon's not a coder. He just used his unique magic to make it hard for you to speak be seen by others. But I actually know something. I know how to use magic and code. I was the one who tormented you. With this little strip of sigils. Little strip of code. Do you recognize this?"

The moon behind the wall seem to back up. Black Star presenting the line of code that he had used to cause Moon infinite pain. The pain that burned whenever the other moved. Black Star smiling darkly.

"Let this remind you. I'm the real villain here. And I know exactly what I was doing. Lunar was just playing along. Now let's see how loud you scream."

The moon behind the wall seemed to panic as Black Star forced the code into the mind space. Filtering out into the void. He watched as the moon behind the wall seemed to cripple. Hugging themselves with a muffled scream. You could only hear it if you got close to the cell. And even at that you couldn't hear it clearly.

Black Star stood back up with pride. It had been such a long time since he had done anything awful. He wouldn't get in trouble for it either. Since it was to someone deserving as Blue Moon called it. Putting a mental check to ask Blue Moon to increase the muffled nature of their entrapment. Exiting the mindspace and quietly walking away from the sleeping robot. Returning back to his placement on the couch. Chuckling quietly as he went back into rest mode.

————————————————————————

Black Star

Characters that do not speak

Crushed glow, TF lunar.

Moon behind the wall, TF moon

I've had this running round in my brain. Black Star isn't allowed to do a lot of villainous stuff in RBB but he could do this. And it would definitely give him that feeling of his good old villainous life.

Plus it allows me to vent at TF Moon. Give him the punishment he deserves. Lunar wasn't ever an enemy. Eclipse was and Black Stars going to approve it.

TF lunar and moon belong to. @madcatdaderpydrawer-blog

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

7, 8, 21, and 25 with Fuegoleon for the ask game?

FUE FUE FUE FUE FUE

7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Okay, so, as far as I've seen, the fandom has concluded that Fue is a romantic, and I love that they do depict him as a gentle and heartfelt person. Because, let's face it, in canon he is rather serious (and as I've said multiple times, he's a bit of a prude (affectionate)). In fact, he barely smiles in canon, so... he definitely smiles more in fanfics. And I don't think it's something that people really realize. As in, I took a while to realize it myself. But then again, usually the fics I've read dwell in themes and moments, where it'd be topical (?) for him to be smiling. Sometimes I think that it goes a little bit overboard in some fics. Like, he is also a private person, so I think that "excessive" PDA when he's on duty (specifically) would be a bit of a no. Like a soft "no". Because he wishes to be professional. Granted that sometimes those displays of affection while on duty can be a powerful narrative tool. But as said, sometimes I think that it goes a little bit overboard. I don't mind too much, however. Generally speaking, I like how the fandom, at least for the parts that I follow and have stumbled on, do him justice.

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

That being said, I have stumbled through dark valleys of this fandom, and seen also Bad Takes(tm). I think I mentioned it to a couple of friends in a private Discord server a couple of weeks back, that... all the takes that you could imagine for him (and some that you couldn't) I have probably seen it, or heard about it. So, I'm not really surprised by any of it. I think. *knocks on wood* However, some individual Bad Takes(tm) aren't really something that "the fandom does", so I'll take something that at least used to be a thing in the past. And it was that because Fue is an understanding person, it was a popular enough characterization for some time that Fue would take anything you throw at him, all the slander and misbehaviour and just put up with it with a smile on his face. He was basically characterized as a doormat. A dumb doormat. Which is why I sometimes get annoyed by people implying that he is quite dumb actually. Sure, he is aloof at times, but being aloof isn't a mark of stupidity. And on that note, there are also many kinds of intelligence. Also, his tolerance isn't a mark of lacking a spine or putting up with anything indefinitely. Accepting everything. I mean, he has canonically dismissed people because of the crimes they committed (which can't, for example, be said about Julius; yes, it's more complicated than that, but to make a point). So, I hated him being characterized as a dumb doormat.

21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

I like depicting his internal monologue and the emotional spectrum that he's going through. Essentially, I like exploring his thoughts and how he would react to things, or maybe find out why he might have done some things in canon. I want to understand his character. So, I like working within the scope of possible scenarios that he might be in, whether it's in canon or in an AU. And so, I suppose I don't particularly enjoy writing very superficial things for him, or "forcing" him to do something that I don't particularly feel like he would do, which is why the text also comes out forced. Most of the time I can reason actions, or behaviour, but there are certainly scenarios that I've tried to write, but it's just come out very forced because "he would not do/say that!"

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Okay... uhh... funny story

So, I didn't start watching BC myself, but instead I was "watching" it whenever I passed by our tv as hubby was watching it. So, I missed a good chunk of the early episodes, and only started watching watching myself later on. However, this means that I missed a lot of the early episodes with Fue, the first time around. And... I think the very first comment I have made of Fue, out loud, was: "Oh, so he died?" So, he was 'The One Who Died' for a while... *insert awkward laughter* I only got more invested after he was woken up, and I started going through the earlier chapters (so essentially backtracking). And since then, he quickly became my favourite.

[tomwambsmilk]

Not to get all conspiracy theory, but that reddit screenshot you reblogged got me thinking... It is really weird that a show as big as Succession had its final season announced so late and with almost no promotion. Alan Ruck said everyone knew it was the last season in June, but Sarah said she didn't know until January. HBO has been pretty chaotic recently, a lot of shows were axed, I don't think it's that crazy to suggest internal conflict might have something to do with it. Especially if future plans could alienate a large chunk of the viewership, like that post mentioned the idea of killing Kendall off, or I bet businessbros would be turned off if Tom and Greg actually kissed, people would probably be mad about it being 'bad representation' too. Maybe I'm just in denial, idk :(

lots to unpack here lmao.......

First of all. I have to say that I DO agree that there is something weird about how season 4 has rolled out and been promoted, and there's absolutely something weird about Alan Ruck saying everyone knew in June, and then Sarah Snook doubling down a couple of days later to say she found out at the table read. Best case scenario, I think HBO let Jesse Armstrong make the call, and he made the call very, very late, and then HBO had to try and do damage control because the late announcement botched some of the promo, and not everyone internally ended up finding out about it at the same time.

Worst case scenario? ...... I don't know. I really don't want to turn into a conspiracy theorist. But. I've seen discourse about hbo max. I've seen people talk about the writers strike. And I know that studio-creator conflict is pretty common in the industry. so do I think it's possible that there was internal conflict involved? Yes, absolutely. Do I think it's likely?..... I'm genuinely unsure. I don't know. I wouldn't place bets in either direction tbh.

And..... yeah, if internal conflict was at play, I would say it's pretty likely that there was some discussion of future plotlines and story beats. If hbo is scrambling for money, they might be more invested than usual in pumping out things that are commercially successful to increase their subscriber numbers. (It would also bias them in favour of creating new shows instead of renewing old ones). What does that mean for succession? Again, I'm not sure. I don't have HBO's market research, and I don't actually know what the widest cross-section of its viewership is interested in. I think killing Kendall off would definitely alienate a massive chunk of it.

And tomgreg going canon? .......Honestly, I'm not sure I want to comment too much for fear of accidentally starting the johnlock conspiracy II: succession edition. I don't think HBO is the Big Evil Homophobic Studio punching down on Little Gay Rights Creator Jesse Armstrong. I also think that if season 5 pitches were being discussed, a disagreement on just one plotline wouldn't be enough to get Jesse to call it quits. But I'm also aware of the Discourse around "woke HBO" in the wake of ofmd and tlou, and of the businessbro portion of the viewership (which is sizeable) vs the marketing to the tg fans. I don't know if I'd go as far as "HBO axed succession bc tomgreg canon", but yeah I could definitely see there being Discussion about tomgreg.

(That being said. I did write that post about the editing/soundtrack de-homoeroticifying (?) tomgreg scenes and it would be really REALLY funny to me if that turned out to be HBO interference lmao)

[mywingsareonwheels]

It's funny how much interpretations can vary. I saw another post where someone felt Lewis was too soft on Thursday by showing us what happened and therefore making us know that how it played out wasn't quite as bad as what Morse was probably imagining.

Although I disagree with you re: Thursday, I sympathize with the mixed feelings. I think there's a few factors with Endeavour which will influence how you feel about it. There's people who will know Morse through the books, people who know him from Inspector Morse, and then fans like me who were introduced to him as the young man in Endeavour. Fans of each of these versions seem to have wanted different things, and I reckon the problem Lewis ran into was trying to make everybody happy.

Like me for instance, I honestly feel he would've been better off pretending Inspector Morse didn't exist because then he wouldn't have been limited to twisting the story towards it and could take Morse and the other characters in a more organic direction. Endeavour might be a prequel, but it was made in such a different era of television, and I think it's ok for it to do something new. However, fans of Inspector Morse hoping to see how he became his older self would be disappointed if he did that. While watching the series I read old reviews from when each season aired and was surprised by the number of people impatient for the Thursday plotline to end to make way for McNutt. Then you have someone like Shaun Evans who read the books but didn't see the show, and that's perhaps why his interpretation of Morse and his future was darker.

At the same time that openness of how the character can be perceived is part of the joy and does allow you to get more out of what the ending means.

I actually really liked what they did with Thursday and how they connected it to Big Pete because I felt it went along with the recurring theme throughout the series that no matter how much these characters want to do good, as policemen they are still part of a messed up system causing harm, and they're not immune to protecting their own over doing what's right for the public they serve. That includes Morse. The whole tragedy of Big Pete and Blenheim Vale is an indictment of the police and remains so.

My takeaway regarding the Morse/Thursday ending is that it wasn't so much about Thursday being a bad person and Morse regretting the relationship because of it, as it was him being confronted with the reality that he had put him on a pedestal. He needed to let go of his naivety. I don't agree with the above point that Lewis was too soft on Thursday, but I do find it interesting that there is a distinction between Morse's perspective and ours. We saw parts of Thursday he didn't and we saw parts of Morse which Thursday didn't. They never truly knew each other because of being suppressed 20th century British men, and maybe that's the real tragedy of Endeavour.

Nonetheless, Morse still credits him with being the best mentor and loves him enough to protect him and his family. I think that's why he ultimately feels he has to close himself up. Because getting too close to the Thursdays put him in a position where he had to compromise his principles and couldn't get justice for Jakes, Big Pete, and the others. THAT'S what really hurt him imo. I also feel like the connection to Inspector Morse can work in that IM is him opening himself back up and Lewis bringing back a side of him which had been missing. I like the idea of Morse being a character constantly learning and changing.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to turn into a whole essay. lmao

Hee, never apologies for writing a thoughtful essay about "Endeavour". :D

And yeah, as you say you and I don't fully agree about the show (esp. Thursday) but I found your thoughts so interesting and I really enjoyed reading them! Thank you. :)

Also that's a darn good point about Shaun. I've only read a couple of the books and I've seen I think about 1/3 of Inspector Morse (I mean, I watched a bit when I was a kid (I was 9 when it first started) but never got into it fully until I'd seen Endeavour and am meaning to catch up on more v soon), and Thaw's Morse is definitely different from Dexter's original Morse. So... yeah, it makes sense that Shaun had a different trajectory from the one I'm more familiar with. :) (And, well, then you have Roger who likes to play as much drama and emotional intensity as possible, so... ;-) )

Morse constantly learning and changing: yes, definitely. I like that. :D

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

There’s a video on YouTube of the finals of the 1995 Open Mic Awards, broadcast on the BBC in September, 1995. I haven’t seen it before, but I think this calls for a post in which I write my thoughts down live as I watch.

undefined

- Right off the bat, here’s Barry Cryer telling us about the recent stand-up comedy boom, and he lists the most important, moneymaking comedians who’ve been to the Fringe: Monty Python, Rowan Atkinson, Jo Brand, Julian Cleary, Eddie Izzard. So I guess it’s 1995.

- They announce at the beginning that it’s a contest for any comedians who’ve never been paid to do stand-up comedy before, they started with over 500 and now they’re down to 8. So that’s sort of cool, that we talk (well, I talk about this, maybe other people don’t so much) about what comedians started at the same time as each other, but any who are in this have started at exactly the same time, having never been paid for it before but now being good enough to make this shortlist.

- Oh, here’s Boothby Graffoe hosting the event, a man whom I know as a voice on Radio 4, looking a lot more telegenic than I picture most people on Radio 4.

- First judge is Tony Hawks (the S is important there, not the skateboard guy), the guy who wrote two books that are on my shelf: Round Ireland with a Fridge, and One Hit Wonderland. I read both those books about ten years ago and recall them being quite funny and the former making me really want to go to Ireland. I mean, I already wanted to do that, and that’s why I read the book, but the book made me want that even more. Looking back, it's possible that that book may have been vaguely condescending, an Englishman saying "look how cute and quirky Ireland is." But if that was the case then I didn't pick up on it at the time.

- “[The stand-ups in this competition], they’ve not really done it much for money… if you’ll pardon the expression…” Tony Hawks making a joke right at the beginning in which I think he’s called Lee Mack an aspiring whore (it’s relevant to know that Lee Mack is one of the finalists).

- I apologize for anything I said about assuming voices on Radio 4 are less-than-telegenic. The next judge is Sandi Toksvig, and she has never, ever been less-than at anything.

I’m so pleased to see her that I’ll even overlook Boothby Graffoe using the word “comedienne” to introduce her.

- I’ve not heard of the next judge, apparently he’s an important decision-maker at the BBC. Or he was one of those, at least. Now all the decisions are being made by... oh God, I'll end this point here, I've done enough ranting about the cancelation of BBC topical comedy lately, I won't get into it again, I promise.

- Barry Cryer is the fourth and final judge, and they immediately make several jokes about how incredibly old he is. In 1995. His recent death was very sad, but he did have a long run.

- Barry Cryer on what he looks for in good stand-up comedy: “Originality. No sex, 70s, or Star Trek.” That's interesting to me. In the last 10 years, 90s nostalgia has been everywhere. In 2023, 00s nostalgia is taking hold (I don't mean to be dismissive about that, it's certainly taken hold of me). In 1995, someone was complaining that 70s nostalgia was so ubiquitous it had become unoriginal. As, apparently, had Star Trek and sex.

- I’ve seen pictures and videos of Baby Lee Mack before, I know what he looks like, I was prepared for this. But still, Jesus Christ.

- There is an amazing contrast between how much Lee Mack has physically changed since this video (drastically), and how much his comedic style has changed (not at all). It’s not my favourite comedic style, but I do respect it when it’s done well, which I think it is in Lee Mack’s case. And to be fair, he did make me laugh a few time in the set from this video. His stand-up DVDs made me laugh as well, when I watched them a few years ago.

It's now been more than two years since I watched Lee Mack’s stand-up DVDs, but I still recognized a couple of jokes from this 1995 set – they made it into his first DVD, which was released in 2007. His later shows no longer recycled exact jokes from 1995, but they never changed style.

I also respect a comedian who decides what they want to be early on because they truly love that thing, and then they continue to love it enough to stick with it. And I think that is real for Lee Mack, I’ve read his autobiography and so much of it’s about being really into the comedians who came before him and did that style. Comedy changed around him as he grew up, he definitely saw the alternative comedy stuff and then the other styles that branched out from there, but no, he wanted to be one type of comedian that is what he did. It's worked damn well for him, credit goes to Lee Mack for that.

- Next up are three comedians I hadn’t heard of, a couple of whom were a bit funny, followed by:

John Oliver has some stand-up jokes in his early career about how he looks like he’s Jewish, and I never understood those jokes until I saw pictures of him from even earlier in his career, when he did look exactly like a young David Baddiel. He wrote those jokes back when he looked like that, so people probably did often assume he was Jewish, and then kept telling them even after he didn’t look that much like that anymore.

I think I’ve just had a similar moment of understanding about all the jokes in The Mighty Boosh based on Julian Barratt’s eyes being too small. By the time they filmed the Mighty Boosh things that I’ve seen, he’d apparently learned to open his eyes properly, because I heard those jokes and thought, okay, they’re a bit small, but not really enough for the jokes to make sense. This, however, suggests that the issues used to be more pronounced. I'm not sure that man even has eyes.

- On the subject of The Mighty Boosh, you know how Julian Barratt’s the straight man there? Apparently he wasn’t always. He packed an impressive amount of offbeat stuff into only a couple of minutes there. Not even really a character act, just fucking weird. Possibly just as weird as the old clips I've seen of Noel Fielding's 90s-era stand-up. I see how they ended up together.

- I’ll be honest, and say the next one is the actual reason I’m here:

Jesus. I've seen a lot of different Daniel Kitson looks from different Daniel Kitson eras, but had not seen that one before. This gives me the same feeling I get from watching his Blockbusters thing, which is... okay, I love finding old footage of comedians I like, but if they're an actual child in that footage, at what point is it a weird thing to have? I think he's actually older here than he was on Blockbusters, but looks younger, possibly because of the shorter hair and/or the vest.

Seeing his age right after Lee Mack and Julian Barrett puts that difference in perspective, too. I’d been thinking that them all being in this means they all started at the same time so are the same comedic generation, but they’re really not. Because that is a small child. It takes a hell of a lot of confidence to think you can do something like this when you’re that young. I say this as someone whose brother started doing stand-up when he was sixteen… it requires an uncommon level of self-regard.

- I’ve now watched the set, and it was primarily about A-level results, his glasses, and his failure to get a girlfriend during high school. I have heard him do material even in his polished shows as an adult about his glasses and his failure to get a girlfriend in high school, and I can even think of a couple of routines that have discussed his A-level results. So he didn’t stop using the topics. Just changed every single other thing.

There was only one tiny bit when the crowd laughed too early, he got mildly annoyed and said that was just a word, that wasn’t the joke, and it was this little flash of reality. Like for about a second and a half, a curtain moved and you could look at this strange teenager and see Daniel Kitson. And then the curtain closed again and it’s just a kid with way more confidence than anyone that age should be allowed to have.

- The video cuts off the ending, but I looked it up and learned that Julian Barratt won. Which makes sense, especially if the judges were, in fact, looking for originality. He definitely had that. A very weird and creative set that would lead you to never guess he's destined for "straight man" status in his double act.