#idk i need to be paid more or else things will ACTUALLY get bad

[lesbiacnh]

when i really needed a day off for mental health (two weeks ago) (after a family members funeral) i COULDNT take off. now that things have calmed down (at home and at work) my boss was like omg do you still need a day off

[sanchoyo]

ik i said i wanted to do at least 2-3 personal solo zines this year aside from the one i already put out but im having such a hard time deciding on a topic?? 'random art zine' or 'sketchbook zine' feel too random kadhfkj. and the only thing ive been MEGA into lately have been my own ocs but making a zine with them would feel weird..also very niche lmao

[finsplurtz]

hello! may I request a subbot afab hawks x domtop amab reader?

idk what trope to pick bc I have so many ideas, but if you're comfortable with it, could it be a sugarbaby x sugardaddy reader AU? maybe with some praise and breeding?

feel free to ignore lol (love your fics btw <3)

— GUYS NEWSFLASH first time writing ftm character hahaha erm i hope i didn’t fuck this up😢😢🙏🙏 (i lvoe dis requets)

something more — keigo.takami

— dom ! male.reader x ftm ! sub ! Keigo Takami

— contents : afab ! Hawks , use of pussy cunt clit and stuff…. Sugardaddy reader , tooo much yap , hawks falls in love with u… er praising , a bit of breeding kink , u might get him pregnant actually…, :( ending..

warnings : love NOT reciprocated sowwy

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

Hawks waved flirtatiously at a guy walking by to try and get his attention, he scoffed after the guy payed no mind to him. He got a cigarette out and patted himself to try and find his lighter..where could it have gone…

he felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to see .. you. Took him a bit but he apologized and took the lighter from your hands.

“thank you..! uh where was it..?” he nervously, struggling to light his cigarette up.

“you left it behind at the bar.” you took the lighter and lit it for the blonde.

“ah..thank you..” he smiled looking away.

“Ya know, you’re a pretty thing. I noticed you at the bar and was going to talk to you but I looked away for a second and the next, you were gone haha” you chuckled dipping your hands into your pockets.

“uh yeah sorry I was…I just needed to take in some fresh air” he seemed a bit more calmer than he was a second ago- he couldn’t get anyone else to pay his drink. that’s why he left the bar.

“mhh. well. I was wondering if maybe I could spend a night with you?” Hawks perked up and looked at you. You were….tall and handsome..you had a nice face…….

“sorry I don’t go around and—“

You held out 200$ to him, waiting for him to take it. “how ‘bout it?” you look at him and smirk.

one night..couldn’t be bad plus, 200 dollars??

“alright then, mister.” He takes the money and smiles at you.

well that’s how you met keigo. after one night you proposed the idea of being his sugar daddy and since the sex wasn’t bad at all, and you paid good money, there was no harm!

overtime you guys became very fond of each other, you weren’t just some cash pig to him, you were special. but to you…..he was sure he was just a fuck toy for you.

you weren’t that old, you had great looks so- why haven’t you gotten a wife? or husband?? a great business guy like you would’ve had someone special by his side by now.

“hey yn…would you ever want to start a family at some point?” Hawks asked. He was sat on your large couch in small shorts and a loose top.

you looked at him and flashed him a smile. “someday, but not now” you were working on your laptop, you kept typing away.

“hmm…” he stood up and walked over to where you were and sat next to you, cuddling your arm.

“what’s wrong, baby?” he hid his smile at the pet name. he shook his head and you chuckled.

the way you treated him was as if he were your special person, you always took care of him. his place wasn’t so safe and it quite frankly- disgusted you… so you insisted he moved in with you. you always paid for him, got him what he wanted, in return he’d let you use him in bed for however long you wanted to.

not only that, but aftercare was amazing. you treated him like if he were made of glass, gentle with him when you bathed him, gentle kisses every now and then. he fought the urge everyday to tell you he loved you because he knew this wasn’t that kind of relationship.

but he started to fall for you. badly. at one point he didn’t really want your money anymore, he just wanted to be there for you and for you to be there for him.

it was about to be a year since you guys started this…thing you guys had going on and he decided to be straight up with his feelings, just tell you. That anniversary or whatever, you took him out to eat like any other day and got him a couple gifts, he was extremely happy and confident things would go well. He was hoping that maybe you guys could be something more than.. this. I mean you already act like a couple! There’s no way he could be wrong..

you guys got back home drunk as hell, laughing and shoving each other around. There was absolutely no fucking way you didn’t like this guy….then again you could just be the devil in disguise

your hands roamed his smaller body while you kissed and fought for dominance. He was losing himself in the pleasure, he had to tell you he just had to..

“uh- yn wait I…need to..” you kissed his neck and sucked on it, he moaned under you and grabbed at your hair. he pulled you off and you looked at him confused.

“I just need to…t..tell…” his words started to get stuck in his throat, nothing was coming out why couldn’t he just spill it out.

“you’re so cute Kei, baby…” you sat up and removed his pants as he squirmed, propped his legs on your shoulder and kissed the inside of his thighs.

“ahh..yn p..please let mhh..~” his back arched at the feeling of your mouth on his cunt. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system that made this all the more enjoyable, but he figured he’d tell you after you guys were done.

he pushed his hair back and gasped when you slid your fingers into his loose hole, all while lapping at his clit. He was crumbling underneath you, his hands pulling harshly on your hair as he squirmed and moaned at the pleasure.

“F-fuck! I’ll c..com..~” he bit his bottom lip, his lower half twitched as he came intensely, His hands letting go of your hair.

You sat up and prodded your cock at his entrance, teasing it over his sensitive clit making him flinch.

“w…wait…no condo-..mm…?” He looked so out of it and cute covering his cunt with his hand.

“what…don’t want my babies…?” you coo gently taking his hand off and leaning down into his ear.

“we’d make the cutest babies..” you harshly grab his hips and slam into him earning a scream from the younger male. He shouldn’t have found that as hot as he did, he’s holding onto you and biting your shoulder as you violate his stupid cunt.

He’s asking you to slow down as best as he can but you ignore him and continue to chase your orgasm. You almost completely stop when he whispers into your ear, an ‘I love you’.

It sounded desperate and whiny, you sit back up, not looking at his face. You look down at your dick, engulfed in the blondes pussy, you push his legs closer to his face and grab his hands, placing them on the back of his knees.

He hold them tightly, so many thoughts running through his little head.

Did you ignore him just now?

Your big hands spread his cunt and you slowly push all the way in, a stretched out whimper leaving Kei.

“Soo pretty, hon….aren’t you such a good boy for me..” you smirk to yourself, your thumb rubbing his clit gently. You grab his legs and move them aside to finally look at his face again.

His face was red and sweaty, tears running down his sad face, droll peaking out of his mouth.

“You’d do anything I asked…wouldn’t you, dear..?” You caressed his face, wiping his dumb tears away. He just stared into your lustful eyes before slowly nodding and smiling.

“Thats right, baby. Your pretty self belongs to me.” You tilt his head and begin to mark his neck as you continued to fuck into his twitching pussy.

He’s losing himself, those dumb thoughts about you not loving him still lurked in his mind. Of course you love him! You love him so much that you want to start a family with him, take care of whatever he needs for the rest of his life. He loves you more.

He’s all smiles and giggles that he doesn’t realize that he agreed to letting you finish inside him, till he feels your hot semen shoot inside of him.

His smile slowly falls, his heartbeat speeding up.

“…y…yn…?” You sit up and pull out, grinning at how your cum spills out of keigo’s cute pussy.

“what? take some pills, dear. You’ll be fine.” You kiss his forehead ignoring the tears that fell from him as he touches his tummy.

“what was it that you wanted to tell me? I’ve got something I wanna say to” you smile and lay down next to his smaller figure, he’s staring at the ceiling, you keep looking at his side profile waiting for him to answer.

“I….don’t have anything to say…” he says tiredly. He finally looks at you waiting for what you were gonna say.

“Hm..i met someone who could join us next time. He’s real cute I think you guys could really get along! Don’t worry though, kei. You’re still my favorite baby…” you smile, exhausted, you kiss the blonde one more time before pulling him into a hug.

“….what…?”

a/n; you guys rlly like hawks y’all are FREAKS (i love him more)

[dearsnow]

SEDATED

- you and your hookup buddy are looking for vastly different things in life. or, in which you discover that love can be a drug. (natasha “phoenix” trace x fem!reader, angst, alexa play casual by chappell roan & sedated by hozier ⚠️ SEX IS A PROMINENT THEME although it’s not a full explicit smut. 18+ only please)

word count: 1,221

a/n - wowww ok so this might be ooc but whatever, if it’s based on a hozier song it really can’t be that bad 🎉 and this is also my first explicitly 18+ story 💖 minors look away. idk if i’ll ever write actual smut because i would get embarrassed and it’s awkward but you never know <3

You’re her escape. When Natasha presses her lips to the column of your neck, your hands carding through her loose hair, it’s like nothing else in the world matters. She can pull you close, feeling your heartbeat against her own as her hand slips down underneath your panties. She can shiver under the heat of your quickening breath. She can pull sounds from your lips that no one else has ever managed to. The best part is that when you’re a mess underneath her, she can’t think of anything but you.

She has a lot to distract herself from, currently. Every training session pushes her harder and every additional deployment seems to become longer and tougher. Everything in her screams bloody murder when she stops to think about the work she’s doing and the lives that are at risk. It certainly doesn’t help that her father just passed away, right before she met you.

When she saw you in that bar, with your dress just short enough to get her riled up and heels just high enough to make you look unbearably sexy, she knew she needed to get in your pants. Unfortunately for you, your pants were the only thing she wanted. You were just what she needed to distract herself.

Natasha walked up to you as you were ordering a drink from the woman behind the counter, who you later learned was named Penny. She nodded to Penny and purred, “Put that on my tab.”

You turned around, eyebrows slightly furrowed in a way that made Natasha’s pulse pump faster. “Hello.” You weren’t mad that this gorgeous woman had just forcibly paid for your drink, but you were more wondering why.

“Hey.” She pulled a stool close to you and sat down, her thigh sliding between the gap in your own. “What’s a beautiful woman like you doing all alone?” Ah, flirting.

The line was cheesy and the both of you knew it, but it didn’t stop a broad smile from working its way up your face. “Waiting for another beautiful woman to sit down next to me. Now that you’re here, I think that goal has been checked off.”

You fell head over heels that night.

When she’s taking you apart with her mouth, fingers, anything, your heart stutters her name. She’s so giving, like her entire goal is to make your legs shake so badly she’ll have to carry you to the bathroom. The few times she’s allowed you to touch her, feel her, kiss her, and press your own fingers into her warmth, you feel like this is what you want to do for the rest of your life.

Natasha is gorgeous and fiery and bold, but never once has she made you feel unsafe. It’s like she’s completely in tune with everything that makes you tick— everything that you so hopelessly need.

Despite this, despite how desperately you want her to stay, she always leaves. It’s a ritual at this point; you have sex, she kisses you on the forehead, she dresses and uses the bathroom, and then walks out the door without so much as a glance backwards. You feel yourself breaking every single time.

“Natasha,” you whisper, pulling your bedsheets up to cover your exposed chest, “can you stay? Please, just this once.”

She turns around, already clothed. The look in her eyes is hard, like bedrock that hasn’t been dug up. Your gaze is sad in comparison. “I can’t.”

The lights in your room are dim. They soften her features, and as you reach to pull a shirt over your head, you almost believe that her expression may turn sweet yet. Almost.

“Why not?” You question. God, she thinks, you’re making this so hard. She can’t stay. If she stays, she won’t be able to come back again. Don’t you understand that? If she forms one more connection, one more goddamn person that she cares about, she thinks she might shatter.

She watches you pull up a pair of shorts, too, over your new, clean underwear. “Because I can’t. It’s better if we never cross that line, okay? We can fuck, but anything more than that just won’t work out.”

“And why is that, Nat? Do you just not like me enough to have a real relationship?” She can hear the challenge in your voice.

“Don’t call me that.” She states, opening your bedroom door with the intention to leave. “I can’t do anything serious.”

There’s anger pooling in your stomach. You understand not wanting a relationship, trust me, you do. But her tone is taut with curtness, like she doesn’t want to waste words on you. Like she never viewed you as a person, just a warm body. “And I can’t do what we’ve been doing anymore. I want you, Natasha, and if we’re just going to fuck around without ever finding out, I’m done.”

“Then we’re done.” She says simply. You feel something inside of you snap.

“Why is it that you just want me to play with? I thought there was at least some sense of care. I’m… I’m not going to stop you, but I need a reason.”

She sighs, turning around to face you. It’s night outside, far past the hour that anyone should be driving. Far past the hour that people should leave by. “You, this, what we’ve been doing sedates shit. Sex sedates shit. It’s an escape, alright? If I start actually liking you, that distraction is gone, and I’ll have to go back to square one.” She spits. There’s a certain vulnerability in her expression, one you never noticed before. “I really need that escape right now.”

Her last sentence is quiet, almost whispered. You reach out to touch her, and she flinches away. “Is the stability of a relationship not enough of an escape?”

She shakes her head, tight-lipped.

“I just wish you had told me sooner.” You falter.

She crosses your house with ease, pausing just long enough to hear your words and reply. “If I had, would you still have fucked me?”

It hurts. It hurts so bad you think if your legs had been any weaker, they would have given out from the sheer weight of her words. She never liked you, never wanted you. It all but presses you into the floor. You reach around her to unlock your front door, eyes brimming with tears. “No.”

She hesitates before stepping out. “Then I’m glad we had fun while we could. You’ll find what you want someday.”

“I wanted it to be you.” You’re crying now, and she looks at you like you’re a puppy with footprints on its haunches. It’s pity, pure pity. She gives you one last kiss on the cheek.

“I never did.”

With that, she steps out into the night, and you watch her go. When she gets into her car and drives away, you close your door with your back and slide down its wood paneling.

Sobs wrack your body as you bring your knees up to your chest. She was what you looked forward to in the mornings, and you were what she looked forward to in the dead of night. For once, you yourself feel like you might need some sedation.

It’s too bad that your only shot at it just walked away.

Taglist: @seitmai

[stalltherain]

I'm half way through season 3 of Haven, and here's my personal summary.

So there's this woman named Audrey who is an FBI agent, except she's not actually an FBI agent at all. She has some other woman's memories. That woman shows up and then has her memories wiped and just goes away. Turns out Audrey doesn't age or something and is actually at least 3 different people I guess.

Then there's basically her 2 love interests.

First is a saltine wafer of a man named Nathan. He's boring. He's also a cop, so in 2010 that probably made him more attractive to a general audience than it does in 2024.

He's white-boy hot, so Audrey has feelings for him for some reason I don't see.

His "thing" is that he can't feel anything -- except Audrey's touch. Since he's a pretty white man cop in 2010's, it's apparently supposed to be romatic that the main reason he likes her is for what she does for him. He brings the bare minimum to the table and is unattractively jealous of Duke (to be described later).

I think I'm supposed to be rooting for him and Audrey to get together. I'm not.

Here he is. Bland & pretty (attractive you're into that).

Then there's this god-damned smoke show named Duke who serves cunt every time he's on screen . We're supposed to think he's a bad guy because at the start of the show he smuggles alcohol and cigars. He owns a bar. He also bullied Nathan in grade school. (So I guess that makes him evil forever? Idk. Nathan can't seem to let it go even after Duke apologizes. We're constantly reminded Duke is "a criminal".)

Duke spends the whole show so far doing whatever Audrey needs even when there's no benefit to himself and trying to help other people (again with no benefit for himself). Unlike Nathan and Audrey, he's not even getting paid for it.

He's snarky and claims he's only out himself -- even though that's consistently not true.

He's got "bad boy" vibes without actually doing much bad at all. Oh, and as if they didn't already make this dude hot enough, he has an ability that's basically this show's flavor of a demon hunter (except the demons are people with powers who do damage unintentionally), but he refuses to use his powers because he doesn't want to be a killer (always making exceptions when someone else needs him to - especially Audrey).

Anyway, this face

I'm conflicted about whether I want to keep watching. Everything seems to be telegraphing that I'm going to hate where this goes.

But damn would it be so satisfying if a snarky, morally gray character like Duke "got the girl" and came out ahead. (Or rather, from my perspective as "a girl", I'd prefer more stories where "the girl" chooses the more complex, devoted guy who's most looking out for her over selfish bland, blonde white guy number five billion and three.)

[bots-and-cons]

How would robots react to a human reader who puts red lipstick on his lips (leave a color for you) I see this a lot in movies With Megatron, Ratchet, Knockout

I just went with red lipstick since that's what you mentioned. And this is like a romantic thing, because that’s what gave me more ideas and Idk if this is at all what you wanted, but I saw the word “lipstick” and this is what came to mind

~Knockout~

•Knockout loves it when you wear lipstick, he thinks of makeup as like a temporary paint job and he thinks it’s quite cool

•It’s quite a usual sight to see Knockout walking around the Nemesis with lipstick kiss marks on his face, because he doesn’t always get them all off or just straight up doesn’t remember or care to

•The kiss marks don’t show as well on his red parts, but they are there too

•If Knockout was a human, you’d be the one covered in kiss marks, like all over and all the time

•Anyway, Knockout thinks it’s totally hot and just makes you look even more attractive than you already are

~Megatron~

•Megatron thinks it’s quite an odd habit of yours, because he doesn’t really get the point at first

•He’s quite possessive and the looks and compliments you’re getting from some of the other decepticons, make him super irritated

•He makes sure the other cons know they are not allowed to do that anymore

•Megs would never be caught with any kiss marks on him, because he thinks it would be embarrassing and he feels the others don’t need to know what he does with you

•Or more accurately, what you do to him

•Anyway, Megatron does get the appeal of lipstick pretty fast

~Ratchet~

•Ratchet didn’t even really notice when you started wearing it, because it just wasn’t something he paid much attention to

•But when he did notice, he asked what the point was

•You just told him you liked it and he left it at that, he doesn’t really need any other reason than that you like it

•When Ratchet noticed you leave kiss marks on him every time you kiss him with the lipstick on, he didn’t really mention it

•He just wiped them off before going out of his habsuite, so no one else would see them

•He has missed a few of them a couple of times though, and has gotten some questions, but he always just brushes them off or comes up with some really bad excuse that no one actually believes

[owlafterhours]

[ac6] g5/621: i guess you could call him 'the boy next door'

Side B to the first Vegas AU mess. Very unedited, sorry ahead of time

So the first, was more pick n’ choose with who Raven’s with bc there’re so many people that both Freud and Rusty could be unimpressed by, and that dump wasn’t about Raven. So this is a very self-indulgent side B. It’s G5/621 so like, whatever dysfunctional relationship tags, slaps them on (though, as before, a softer, fluffier variant.). They’re just both idiots. 

C1, which gets a throwaway mention, is ‘Core Theorem 1’. The vibes are loosely based off F1 (surprise surprise) and my solution to ‘I Want The Mechs But Generally Non-Lethal’. This isn’t to say there aren’t military uses, But since vegas AU Grew Legs And Started Running, I might go into it in a worldbuilding dump post later or smth idk

CW: Lots of Alcohol, getting married for Questionable Reasons

In Which: Raven’s here for a good time, Iguazu was having a bad time, and everyone else is having A Time.

Sometimes, you get asked to go to an expo at the last minute ‘cause the garage you’re consulting for can’t make it and they need three people there. Please! Expenses paid! It’s in the same city that Rusty said he had some work thing at, so you can even call for emergency help if you need it.

Sometimes, you’ll end up in a crappy motel with them - they’re strapped for cash, like most independent garages, and this isn’t too far from the venue. You think you should be able to make it over without needing a taxi or exerting your leg too much.

And sometimes, sometimes, you open your door to find that a former rival-turned-who-the-hell-knows-what was staying in the same crappy motel. 

You think you see Michigan and Volta’s utes behind him.

“The fuck are you doing here, freelancer?”

Raven shuts the door in Iguazu’s face.

–

That’s the last that Iguazu sees of Raven for the next two days. 

Long story short, the Redguns are on like, vacation. No. Michigan calls it a vacation but it’s really team bonding. He’s managed to bribe them all there with the promise of picking up the tab for everything. Iguazu and Volta make a pact to drink a hole in Michigan’s wallet. 

Which is good and all, until Iguazu keeps. Getting like. Needled. Yes, Michigan’s making comments on everyone, but it’s personal alright?? First, it’s just the regular ol’ getting signed up for more things because Iguazu keeps trying to get out of them. But then Michigan starts making more targeted quips. How Iguazu really needed to move his arms n legs before his mouth. How he keeps losing these little challenges. How he should save yapping for those who’ve actually got a gift for it, like Gun Three. How it’s not even Iguazu that lets him know that Gun Thirteen’s apparently been living in the same motel as they were.

“You said he’s been here the last two days Volta?” Michigan had said. “That sneaky maggot hasn’t shown his face to me even once.” 

And then he called…someone and rattled off Raven’s description, barked into his phone a bit more before hanging up and grinning. 

“Alright - Gun Five, I got a job for you!”

–

Raven’s with a bunch of nerds in a tucked away bar, paper spread over several tables and bartenders observing them with some concerned curiosity. They’re drawing out the schematics for something. Some things. There’re a lot of propellers, and Iguazu thinks he recognizes a generator or two there. He’s not sure. 

Either way, Iguazu can see that Raven’s not integral to whatever nerd ritual it was that they were doing, so loomed behind Raven before setting his hands on his shoulders.

Raven leans back and tilts his head to look up. There’s a glimmer of recognition - before the lights turn off and Raven tries to go back to whatever it was he was working on. 

“You-” Iguazu pulled him back again. 

It’s a song and dance they’re familiar with.

They go through it every time they see each other.

(Which…is more often than Raven would like to admit. They’d been ‘rivals’ in the C1 scene, and gone through a wild thing or two together, but it didn’t really explain how their paths kept crossing. Then again, sometimes, Raven just…needed to be Somewhere Else, and if Iguazu and Volta kept on letting him into their apartment, then who was he to say no? He just brings an offering - usually food, or some of the booze he knows they like - and then crashes on their couch for the night.

Sometimes he’ll even wake up with Iguazu’s jacket on him.)

It means that Raven sighs at him before letting Iguazu shepherd him away with an arm around his shoulders. ‘Keeps him from running’, Iguazu had said, the first time he did it, and Raven's just gone along with it since.

One of the nerds - a Balam tech, by the looks of it - seems more apologetic than the others when he’s bidding farewell, and it’s only twenty minutes and drive later that he connects it with a triumphant Michigan and amused Nile.

“Gun Thirteen! I’m surprised to see you in this neck of the woods – why did I have to find out from Gun Four you were just next door?” 

Turns out, it wasn’t that Iguazu had miraculously found where Raven was but, rather, Michigan who had used his considerable sway over the Balam engineers to hunt Raven down.

Anyway, Raven’s roped into the Redgun festivities for the night; they’re not exactly what he expected. For one, Wuhuahai and Volta seemed to be in deep conversation over an arrangement of pepper shakers and glasses - Raven thinks he overhears something about ‘mergers and ‘arbitrage’’ and decides he doesn’t need to know what that is. Red’s got an impressive number of glasses in front of him, eyes sparkling as he talks about his family back home to Albany and Osawa. 

Half the bar is made of Redguns tonight, and Michigan has his eyes on every one of them.

For example: Iguazu had steered Raven into the pub with an arm around his shoulder. Iguazu intercepted any drinks that came to Raven. (Michigan’s heard from Walter that the kid wasn’t allowed alcohol.) Volta seemed increasingly exasperated every time he looked over as the night progressed - and Nile was giving Michigan the Look that told him to Shut Up For The Sake Of A Drama Free Vacation. For Once.

Who did he think he was?? A Vesper? Fuck no. So Michigan does what Michigan does best, and starts ribbing the two about lovebirds and ‘oh wouldn’t you look at that, guess you two kissed and made up hm???????’

And sure, Raven didn’t give two shits - he puts up with enough of this from Ziyi if he’s being real - but Iguazu. He’s half-way to drunk from tipsy and he is So Tired. Sooooo fucking tired of this bullshit. It’s been five fucking days of nothing but this and he is Done. He stalked up to Michigan. 

“Fuck Off.” Iguazu snarled, before storming out of the pub.

He doesn’t realize he’d grabbed Raven on his way out until Raven’s cane hits the back of his legs, forcing him to stagger.

“Fuck was that for!?” he snapped, before noticing that Raven had a tight grip around Iguazu’s arm. He was leaning quite heavily on Iguazu, now that he thought about it, and his breath was coming in a bit short. “Tch.” 

Iguazu’s not sure when it happened, but he’s gotten used to Raven’s quirks. Really, he thinks they spend too much time together, for someone who makes Iguazu feel sick in the stomach. Volta always says he’s in a worse mood after Raven stays over, so he has no clue why either of them keep letting the guy in. 

He walks a little slower after that though, and eventually, Raven catches his breath. It’s just them, the lights and passing by revellers for a moment - before Freud makes a lovely appearance with Rusty. They’re holding hands.

“Raven! Just who I wanted to see.” Freud says, and Raven zeroes in on the ‘I Have An Idea’ tone of voice. Looks like Freud had finally broken or something, and wanted to get married to Rusty, like. At this moment. Right now. Look, the walk-in wedding venue’s Right There. Could you be our witness Raven? 

(With how Rusty seemed totally unsurprised by Raven standing in front of him, Raven puts a wager on him being completely smashed. He has to admire Rusty’s composure when it comes to drinks. He never looks as drunk as he actually was.)

And Iguazu has no idea what’s happening anymore - or he doesn’t until Freud mentions, off-hand, this was how he was making a statement to Rusty.

A lightblub goes off in his head. Iguazu waited with more patience and grace than either Freud or Rusty deserved from him. He needs Raven for this.

“Hey. Freelancer.” he said, after Rusty and Freud had shared a sloppy kiss and then left the venue after all due paperwork was completed. “Let’s get married. That’ll show ‘em.”

Raven doesn’t have to guess who that ‘someone is’, but he’s definitely wondering about this sequence of events. How, exactly, is getting married going to matter to Michigan? 

He says as much, but Iguazu is. Oddly confident about this. 

“It’ll show him.” he insists. Raven points out that he’s had enough alcohol. Iguazu waves him away - he’s not a bloody lightweight. Raven says they need a witness; and No, they won’t be calling Freud back for this. That’d be terrible. 

Sure, he can work with that. Iguazu uses ‘Call a friend’. 

“Hey Volta, get your ass over here. Need you for somethin’.”

Thus their witness is procured! Volta knows he deserves to be here for all the bullshit he’s put up with. He almost feels proud of them. He also can’t believe he’s been roped into every fucking step of this not-relationship until it’s become…This. Whatever it was. He’s not calling this a proper fucking wedding, when he knows Iguazu’s doing it to be a little shit and Raven–

(“You don’t mind?” Volta asked Raven half-heartedly when he’d reached the place. Raven just shook his head and shrugged, but there’s a glimmer in his eyes that told Volta that the guy’s Invested in this. Somehow.)

 –who the hell knows. 

–

When Iguazu wakes up the next morning, he panics. What the hell was he thinking last night? Alright, maybe he overestimated how much he could drink (like usual), but that didn’t fucking mean he had to go get hitched to the freelancer. 

He’s still panicking when he gets a knock on the door. He doesn’t want to open it.

He gets up to open it anyway. It’s Raven. He looks like nothing happened the night before. He’s saying that they should go down to the place sometime in the next hour so they can get it sorted. Iguazu thinks he should feel relieved. Here’s an out. 

“We should deal with it.” Raven said, matter of fact. “Me and my colleagues are leaving today.”

Iguazu takes a breath. Iguazu feels that familiar discomfort in his stomach. Yes, they can go. Just give him a moment. Just,

He can hear Michigan’s mocking laughter. Volta’s going to be exasperated - if not a bit pissed. He’ll be the laughingstock again. Fuck that.

“No.”

“No?” “No. Fuck that. I’ll show them.”

“...I’ll tell my colleagues I’ll be staying another day then.” Raven said, “My room’s only booked til today eleven though, so I’ll stay in yours for the night.”

Iguazu didn’t expect Raven to agree so…easily. He took a breath. This could work out. How hard could it be to stay married for a little longer? 

“Fuck. Sure.”

–

In the end, neither of them actually announced that they got married, but word must’ve gotten around, because Michigan had accepted that Raven was getting back home with them without much comment. It’s a quiet trip home, Volta with his eyes on the road and Iguazu with his head pillowed on Raven’s shoulder, fast asleep. 

[what were u doing there]

[did i ask u to come?]

Raven stared at the message from Rusty - ah, looks like he finally realized that Raven had been somewhere he wasn’t meant to be? Careful not to dislodge Iguazu, Raven angled his phone juuuust right and took a selfie.

[otogariado]

barbie movie was kinda bad to be honest.

if you're super attached and sentimental abt this movie you might not wanna read this bc i don't really pull punches with this one. but here is my first impressions rant lmao. i might come back to it when i've collected my thoughts more and let it stew a little (and maybe see it a second time just by myself at home?)

the way the movie ended was really bad and it left a sour taste in my mouth (📌), but even from just earlier in the movie i already felt like smth was off. and i mean, it's not like i wasn't excited for it even if i tried to avoid a lot of the stuff to not overhype myself (and i usually like going in blind anyway). but even as the movie started i already got the feeling of, oh this is what kind of movie it's gonna be. and for the most part it proves that initial assumption right.

and by "this" i meant like.. a really shallow preachy "feminist" tone. y'know, those kinds of movies/shows that pretend like they're going to say something meaningful about a mature topic but they end up just being shallow and mostly filled with platitudes and such. it's just kinda weird cz i expected more. but it felt like the movie was just using every character as a direct mouthpiece to the audience, and it could still work i guess if they actually had something to say. i think the movie was kind of a mess. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to take away from it at the end, especially when they just start word vomiting at you. at some parts of the movie i wanted to turn my brain off but i still paid attention in case it was gonna pick itself up but like, it really didn't.

i think the rest of the movie was ok. the cinematography was enjoyable still, but the writing was just. so shallow that i couldn't bring myself to fully say i had a blast watching it. it felt like it was more interested in going through a checklist/outline of feminist things to say without being interested in elaborating any of it. it felt like they had too much they wanted to talk about that it just felt scattershot; i feel like it would've had stronger writing if they had just picked a topic to focus on and spent more time with it. they had the chance to explore something more—heck, they had this pretty diverse cast, why exactly did it still need to be focused on "stereotypical barbie" if they really wanted to explore something else? plenty of movies have been successful with an ensemble cast... it wouldn't fix their issue of splitting themselves amongst multiple things they wanted to talk about, but it could help with the focus. maybe have one barbie deal with one topic or throughline then another barbie with another topic, etc. idk. i also found it weird to make a snarky comment about how "if the movie wanted to make a point about barbie not needing to be [conventionally pretty] then they shouldn't have cast margot robbie for this" and like?? you're right lmao. you don't get to be cheeky by saying "guess we were wrong about this one :9 shrug". if they weren't interested in addressing this issue then they shouldn't have just called attention to it in the first place. it just makes it worse. feels like saying "ha! you can't criticize us for this decision because we already did it first."

i also have a problem with the thing near the end of "how about normal barbie? barbie doesn't need to be extraordinary! why can't she just be a regular person?" umm. the point of barbie wasn't to make women feel like they should be extraordinary to be accepted?? the point of barbie is that anyone can BE barbie. you ARE barbie no matter what kind of path you choose. it's kinda like spider-man in a sense that, "anyone can be under the mask." ANYONE can be barbie. i feel like the movie made a strawman out of misconstruing the original intent behind the "empowerment" of barbie. the point of multiple versions of barbie and the different playsets and shit comes from the appeal that she can be ANYTHING you want her to be. who are you fighting against, movie?? that type of misogyny where women should excel otherwise they don't matter certainly exist in the real world but like, i feel like it's a bit disingenuous to pretend it's what the barbie franchise wanted to convey as well. (i am by no means a barbie toyline history expert so i'm open to be corrected on this.)

and the whole... storyline with ken/the kens?? like i get what they're trying to do, have "the boys get a taste of their own medicine", but it's just. It's Just Weird. what did they wanna accomplish with it? i feel like this movie suffers from a shallow understanding of how sexism and misogyny and toxic masculinity actually works... like "oh teehee what if men were the ones oppressed by women instead and women were the ones oppressing men?" but they didn't do anything interesting with it, they just switched sexes and that's it. it's still the same except you just switched the men and women label now. (and the movie has a very black and white view of sex and gender. but that's another point to discuss entirely.)

what makes it worse is that the kens rise to power because they craved more appreciation from the barbies, but then they get knocked down a peg by the barbies and they "lose" like they "deserve". like, what is THIS meant to convey if we try to use it as a parallel for real world feminism, if kens = RL women and barbies = RL men?? that women shouldn't demand to be seen and appreciated more by men and that if they try to take on equal footing and power they should get pushed back down the hierarchy or something??? like WHAT??? and even if you could argue that the kens lost because of their egos/pride/toxic masculinity, it still feels off. because yes, there is a certain "masculine brand" of being too prideful but like. anyone is susceptible to getting too egotistical for their own good. idk??? the way they just handle it is so messy. it's not even like, ambiguous in the "open for interpretation, there are multiple readings of this possible that all try to say something different" kinda way. it's ambiguous in the messy, "we don't know what we wanna say" kind of way.

another thing i wanna talk abt is the teenager character. and the mom character too. i feel like they could've done more with them tbh. they hardly feel like actual characters—the mom got more than her daughter, but the daughter is so stereotypically rebellious "i hate feminine stuff" teenager. so much of this movie feels like telling instead of showing. the mom feels undervalued and depressed and she's struggling. yeah, but so what? we don't actually SEE any of that. even if you can argue that the movie tries to tackle stiff happening IRL so it doesn't need to show any of that any more, that's just bull. you still have to establish the setting in your movie's universe and you still have to do actual character work for your characters even if they're meant to represent real people. ESPECIALLY if they're meant to represent real people. like yeah, we do get some flashbacks of her daughter not appreciating her near the start, but that's it. they're just flashes. and that wasn't her only problem that she mentioned. why didn't we have the mom try to pitch ideas to the executives early on, have that be her introduction scene? have the executives belittle her ideas bc they're misogynistic chauvinist asses? like yeah, from context clues of the whole boardroom being men we can see the irony there and we can tell they don't value women enough to give them positions that high up the ladder. but still, implying the lack of something is not as good as actually demonstrating the lack of something. i feel like it wouldn't have been that hard to include at least one scene of the mom pitching her ideas, and then cut to her scribbling sadly on the desk like she was when she was introduced cz they didn't listen to her.

the sentiment of "they hardly feel like actual characters" extends to the rest of the cast, too. like, i wouldn't expect something substantial and be disappointed if they weren't marketing themselves like "all barbies are important :) this is an ensemble movie :)" like no... not really. none of the other characters matter that much and they didn't get a lot of actual distinguishing features aside from their actual job titles. which just feels reductive lmao. maybe that's the point. maybe they're all just meant to be bit characters. but it just adds to the shallowness of the movie i feel like. just bc the point is they're bit characters doesn't give it a free pass for not going anywhere w any of them. i saw someone say they felt like all the other barbies and kens were mostly just there as set dressing and you know what? that's undeniably true. which AGAIN i maybe wouldn't have as much of a problem with if it weren't for how they marketed this movie.

the previous paragraph also ties into what i mentioned earlier abt the quip they had abt casting margot robbie (and by extension, ryan gosling) as the lead(s). like... why did the lead HAVE to be the "stereotypical barbie"? why did the white, blonde, presumably cishet* barbie (and ken) HAVE to be the leads? hell, the mom and daughter characters are women of color and they don't even do anything with them (aside from some jokes abt how the white dad sucks and is very inconsequential?). i'm just saying... it feels like the diversity casting (not just when it comes to being people of color but also in other areas, like having a barbie in a wheelchair and a pregnant "barbie" (even though she's not barbie) and whatnot) of the other barbies and kens was just that. Token Diversity. fodder for The Typical White Leads. idk. i'll say this again but if they didn't advertise themselves the way they did with all those barbie and ken posters making it sound like they were actually gonna give a shit about any of the other colorful cast of characters then maybe i wouldn't be this harsh with them. this didn't feel like an ensemble movie to me at all.

*(bc i don't think this movie was made with any genuine queer intentions behind it lmao. and ik people latch onto the aroace "coding" of the characters and like. if you're aroace and you like it then power to you. but i think this is more of a "technicality"/"by semantics" type of """coding""" so i honestly don't think it counts, speaking as someone who's some flavour of aroace)

idk i feel like I'M word vomiting now too. maybe i'm picking on this movie too much. but tbh it's just. eh. it just feels shallow. it's a shallow nothing movie tbh. it just feels like a movie filled with quips without any interest in exploring any of the topics they bring up. i wanna list specific examples but tbh it's hard to remember them because of just how overloaded it is, like they just keep shooting talking points at you but there's no meat to any of them. i wouldn't be this harsh on this movie if it didn't hype itself up so much. like, i WANTED to like it coming it. i WAS excited for it ever since it was announced, even though i wasn't a super fan and wasn't buzzing about it as much as most people were online. because it had a lot of potential behind it, but it ended up just. being a mess.

📌 i think it's funny that the ending (as in the last scene of the movie) left most people confused, but the most interesting thing abt it is the takeaway i got from my cis mlm cousin where he's like, "oh barbie chose to be a mother at the end and she's pregnant and that's why she ended up at the gynecologist". like. I Guess??? that can be your take??? but it's a weird scene to end your movie on.

like idk what i'm supposed to feel about it. she's a real human now because she has genitalia?? the genitalia was the last crowning step for her to achieve the "human" status? that's kind of reductive. she's a real woman now because she has a vagina?? that's just straight up transphobic. like. what am i supposed to get as my takeaway here with the last scene??

[bonebirds]

I don't normally do this and I honestly feel like it's... bad, somehow, but it's a pretty small circle here and idk, I just need some kind of validation or... something? Look I'm bad at this but I am really trying /o\ Everything is just fucked and internet hugs would be nice.

Work:

ignored my original request for medical leave in March

instead tried to PIP me in April (HR intervened and was like, why? All this employee's feedback is positive and they've never been an issue?)

ignored my request for medical leave in May

granted 2 weeks PTO for me to move in the summer but my director also included things like "you will never get benefits for medical issues" and "if you have to quit, I'll help you get a job somewhere else" (paraphrasing) but that if I kept asking for time off, I'd... be... in trouble, vaguely? I'm basically treated like he wants to fire me but alas, cannot :( He does promise to look into any employee emergency funds or help given everything outside of work sounds Bad. He never does.

I emailed HR in June to be like, "my doctor is advising I stop working because I am becoming physically ill from stress and can't function, I am having daily panic attacks logging into work, and btw, my manager has been emotionally manipulating me into working through this illness despite my doctor's documentation" and never heard back.

After I moved, in September they moved me to a team where they did not train me on anything, and my health continued to deteriorate until I just didn't show up for a week and my new manager actually helped get HR involved. I was at this point visibly in meetings losing my fucking mind and calling out former managers for driving this all.

work agrees to grant me paid medical leave but will get back to me about how much of my salary I'll collect on leave. I am given Sept 20-December 31 off.

They don't get back to me at all, and I collect a full month's salary in October. NB: we get paid once a month, at the end of it. This took 5-6 weeks of ignoring the process on their end.

9 days before being paid for November, I'm told I can burn the rest of whatever PTO I have but they will not be paying for this leave. They don't tell me how much that is.

undoing pretty much any and every progress I'd made on de-stressing and recovering from everything else, triggering a shingles attack, and I have zero savings, zero benefits, and zero fucking idea about what to do aside from try to fight for paid leave

I am putting this here mostly because it's too much to hold in my head all at once, ever, and I try to break the last 9 months down and just... like, my god? I showed up to work during all of that. I asked for more and more to do. I did the training and the meetings and the job, and... I am paying out of pocket for treatment because no one there gives a shit and everyone believes the manager I emailed HR about (since fired!***) because she never documented... anything.

So I look like I did nothing for a year and then just asked for leave to cover my ass.

*human trafficking**

**I'm not kidding and I'm really fucking tired of trying to kid about it or talk around it because just being like 'haha, life events" or "drama!" is vague enough I guess people are like "yeah I stress sometimes too" when it's more like "my organs were physically shutting down from stress and I had a complete nervous breakdown when I realized what was going on" :|

*** There's so many layers to this because we were friends before co-workers but she also spent months trying to keep me in a city where I was actually in danger and gaslighting me about helping with it all so she could keep me in the city, so, you know. That was going on too?

I'm not really looking for advice (I'm in the process of looking into what legal protections I have, don't worry) so much as... I don't know. This is fucked, right? This has just reached a level of fucked where I don't know how to keep trying. I was fighting for this job because if I could just pay off another, like, ten grand of debt I'll be okay enough to breathe a little, and I like the folks I work with and it's not a bad gig, and I quit a PhD for this place, and them paying this leave was literally going to be a saving grace I so needed, and...

Yeah.

If nothing else, like, I get to be mad about this, right? I'm trying so hard to actually let myself be mad without flinching from that feeling because it's like all or nothing, I am just defeated and crying and giving up or I am breathing fire and going for their jugular, and neither is practically helpful.

I don't know, man.

But yeah there you go, that's why I had to move accounts suddenly and lost, oh, 98% of my social circle earlier this year 😵‍💫

Jusssssst.

At least typing it all out and looking at it square in the face like that is, yeah. That's horrific treatment. And worth fighting. Even if it's just a few grand, or... something. I don't know. I'm just so fucking hollow all the time again. I was just so close to somewhere less precarious, emotionally and financially.

[leejenowrld]

Sooo my question for jeno and y/n aka THE CUTEST AND HOTTEST AND BEST POWER COUPLE EVER 🤚💕 ( I love them too much for my own good I swear-)

Jeno pookie bear 💐

♡ What were your first thoughts of y/n?

♡ would you get y/n a huge own personal library in your future house *caugh caugh villa* ( that you are working on, don't worry I won't tell y/n 🤫) ? Like the one in beauty and the beast with sliding stairs and all?

♡ What if y/n wanted like 5 tortoises, 3 guinea pigs, 2 bunnies, 1 dog and 4 cats? And gave them silly little names like Popcorn, Fluffy, Cookie, Floof, Snuggles, Bowie, Pinkie

♡ Going book shopping with y/n? Holding her lovingly from behind and kissing her temple from time to time, picking up every.single.book. y/n shows interest in and obv buying her books. Leaving the bookstore with like 20+ books

For both of my cuties 🌸

Who fell first? Who fell harder?

Who is the bigger simp/ more down bad / more whipped

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of each other?

Everyone says that y/n is the clingy one but I swear on my pinky that it's actually Jeno ✊

I kinda escalated slightly... ooosie doopsie 🤭

MWUAH MHUAW 💋💋

~ 🧸

i love these questions 🥹🥹🥹also i love how much you know about jeno and yn like wow. i love you for this. you really have done your research and paid attention baby!!

jeno - do you want me to be honest? i thought she was really fucking pretty. i remember getting hard. i was a bit hungover in that meeting we had with the professor so idk if i thought she was pretty in a sexual way or a cute way, probably both. (probably sexually, why do i remember getting high) as my girl, i currently think she’s pretty sexy and pretty cute yk. i also remember finding her laugh and smile so fucking cute. i remember being attracted to her and thinking what the fuck? what is happening to me? at that time i was adamant that i wouldn’t fall in love, not now atleast. i was confused but it didn’t take long before i just gave in and trusted my feelings (and my baby) and just let myself fall in love with her.

jeno - you better not tell her about it or else 🔪🔪yeah i’m being serious. i told the girls and those dumbasses nearly spilled. anyways. that’s a really good idea? she has two rooms just for her in the house, one of them is a massive libary room and i’ve already filled it with all my love’s favourite books and books for her to read but holy shit… the staircase idea is really good? definitely gonna think about it because i know she’ll love it and i’m only doing this to make her happy because she’s the loml

jeno - at first i’d just shout at her i’m not gonna lie. and i’m not gonna feel guilty because it literally turns her on when i yell at her. anyways i’d be mad because i know her, i know that she’ll make me take care of them. i know her. but she has me wrapped around her little finger so let’s be real, i’ll probably become the father and co owner of 6 fucking animals

jeno - love taking my sweetheart to her favourite places. as much as i love our more adventurous dates with end up with her riding my cock in public or just full on all over me, i love taking her to libraries and book shops. she gets so excited and so cute and so clingy. whenever i tell her i’m treating her and taking her to the bookstore you should see the way her face lights up, so fucking beautiful. she always dresses so pretty and it kills me. mmmh yeah ur right, she’ll be looking at the books and i’ll be holding her lovingly from behind, back hugs, kisses to her neck, whispering to her how in love i am. i kiss her all over. and yes, more times than none she’s left with 20+ books and i’ll do it for her time and time again. my baby deserves the world

yn - i’d say we’re the case in which we both fell for each other around the same time and we both fell harder. it was beautiful. our hearts became one.

jeno - as soon as i enter the door she has her lips around my cock so i’d say it’s her. needy baby always needs my eyes on her 24/7, idk what she’d do without my attention

yn - jen is delusional! it’s him. he’s my biggest hype man, i’ll show him what i’m wearing and send photos and he’ll hype me up and make me feel as sexy as my girls do. but like he’s my man so imagine how hot and sexy he can be. also he’s always all over me, i don’t need to be doing anything, i can just be standing there, literally breathing in the air and suddenly his cock is out and it’s hard and he’s moaning and he’s taking my clothes off and then he’ll have me there on the floor or just standing up 🙈

jeno - it’s just clouds and angels. i see my future and who i want to be the mother of my children. i see the woman i want to love forever and grow old with until we die

yn - how mature he is, emotionally and physically. it’s sexy. and how he makes me laugh and how i can always go to him for anything. the support and love i receive it’s just… wow. i know and appreciate how lucky and cherished i am, always and forever

yn - thank you!!!

jeno - she’s the clingy one and all our friends think it

[query-quadrant]

whatss ur favorite quadrant gift uve ever given or recieved? + wat are ssome good ideass 4 quad giftss (esspecially flussh... havin flussh problemss >_<)

oh man its a really good thing almost no one i know reads this blog because this is about to get really fucking lame

favorite gift: this is going to be the lamest thing i ever say on this blog but if im being honest its this one really shitty jacket i have

last ruddy sunset my ex gave it to me and its kind of ugly tbh and most of the patches are holding on for dear life but its kind of comfy and she customized that shit herself even though she doesnt know fuck about sewing cause she knows i like it and you know what thats adorable thats the cutest shit thats ever happened to me me and this jacket are best bros forever

least favorite gift (cause idk how else to do the good advice bad advice thing): this one time this dude i was pale dating for like a perigree beat up someone "for me" because they had "besmirched my honor" or whatever the fuck but it was a guy i barely knew like we had one argument and it wasnt even a big deal

i think he was expecting me to swoon and be all "oh thank you so much oh im a poor defenseless noncarnivorous flower and youre big and strong and protective and oh so impressive" or something but it was just awkward like damn i dont even know that guys name

anyway heres basic gift ideas for people who need help with that

1. you can tell but i like handmade shit the best its cute its personal it took more work than anything you got at the store or paid someone else to make the only downside is its definitely really intense so youd wanna be careful about doing it for people youre not at that level with yet

2. this is also basic but something that shows youre paying attention to them yknow like if their favorite band is doing a show or if theyve been talking about wanting something or wanting to do something but havent had time or money for that shit

3. mileage might vary for this one but outfits or clothes or jewelry specifically shit thats are their taste and theyll like but you can also take them on a date wearing i dont know if i have to say this but do NOT just do one you like or think theyd be hot in but they arent actually into lmao

4. tbh even if you do cliche shit like chocolates or flowers or cards personalizing it goes a long way yknow like getting them their favorite flowers or picking that shit yourself instead of one of those stock grocery store bouquets or getting their favorite candy and not one of those big heart truffle boxes where only half of them taste good and the other half are full of mystery goo that tastes strangely bad but you dont know what it is

5. honestly just try giving a fuck it goes a long way giving gifts isnt hard and the advice i can even give is really limited if i dont know the person youre talking about or what they like specifically maybe they hate chocolate and flowers and crave meat and rare poisons idk talk to your fucking matesprite or crush or whatever

[hees-mine]

i've been inactive but i just caught up on your page and wow! The patreon is def a good marketing idea lol. There will definitely be people who pay to read your works since desperate horny ppl with money buy anything😂this whole "i don't have enough money" excuse is tickling me bc it seems like these ppl have more things to worry ab than begging for part 2s😭.

but yeah it was a bit surprising bc even though writing is time-consuming and im not getting paid on here, that's not what I do for it for. I genuinely like expressing my creativity for the fun of it and over time it feels like a piece of art. its just fun idk.. it's kind of mind-boggling that you're complaining about not getting anything in return because what else would you get in return? All your supporters can do is like comment and re-blog, they can't do anything else bc it's just a social media platform lol. i'm a pretty big page but even if it were 20 people reading I would still enjoy pleasing those 20 ppl. If the hate or negativity ur referring to is getting that bad I personally would just turn off asks!

ur gonna do what you wanna do and you'll make money regardless so kudos to you! It's just that i don't think this writing field should be taken so seriously or have such an effect on you, and heeseung is a human being in real life, so it is kind of weird that you'd want financial gain from it since he can't consent to that. but hey I support everyone's hustle.

you have amazing stories on here so I took a sigh of thanks that you're not going to delete or deactivate. They get me through a lonely night girl.😂😂def just delete the app if it ever gets too much for u!

Sigh

The wording of this is horrible

A lot of back handed compliments here but it’s all over text so maybe I’m not reading it right so I’m not going to dive into it

As far as money goes people can do whatever they want with it if they have it they have it if they don’t they don’t I’m not going to get into peoples finances let alone call it an “excuse” however I do agree their are more important matters than asking for a part 2

Key word YOU don’t do it for that reason me and you are two different people I don’t do it to make money either cause this blog was free to the whole public in the beginning so money was not on my mind when I made it

By you saying “i genuinely like expressing my creativity for fun” implies that I don’t

Im sorry that your mind is boggled because when I said I don’t get something in return was not in regards to money it’s a simple request for respect thats what I’m not getting here is basic respect and thats all I’ve been asking for for the past couple months

I get how social media works lol and the thing is I don’t need numbers or reblogs simply appreciate and respect my wishes and we’re gucci over here I don’t care if I had one reader as long as you’re appreciative of what I take time out of my day to do I’m cool with that

The negativity comes in more forms than just my ask box

I’m not taking it seriously and I don’t think anyone else is either clearly at the end of the day it is by no means affecting me in my personal life

Geez

This isn’t about “financial gain” it’s an opportunity for me to try and find the people who actually care about what I do and weed out the ones who just mass consume content with zero feedback sure I’d be making a little money off it but it would never be enough to sustain anything in real life I’m not greedy for a few bucks

So basically with that logic if him not being able to consent to me writing stories about him and making said money from those stories people would have to stop making fanmade items as well cause he’s not consenting to that either

Or is this different because there’s smut involved?

Either way it’s neither here nor there

Again the financial gain part is not even what I aim to do like I said some money would be involved yes but I’m not out here asking for 200$ dollars

Don’t know if you looked far enough but I’ve stated multiple times that if anyone had questions about pricing and what content they’d like to see then shoot me a dm/ask I’m open to making this a place where my readers can be happy and I can get away from the negativity that has plagued this blog

Thank you for liking what I put out i appreciate it🩵

It’ll never be a point where it gets too much because as I stated it’s just annoying but other than that it doesn’t have an impact enough for me to delete my blog it’s only an issue on tumblr

If I do ever delete it’ll be because I’m done with writing

Thanks for the input I hope my response just gives a little more insight on what things are like from my pov

[loumauve]

sometimes I forget that it is in fact not normal to have sudden social anxiety spikes after only two days spent inside, away from other people.

(the kind that make it near impossible to even just step in front of the door and walk downstairs to check the letterbox, much less leave for long enough to get groceries)

rest of a long thing under the cut bc I don't want to bother anybody with my introspection. but I wanted it to be there in case someone else struggles with this. idk. helps to not feel entirely alone in dealing with this shit

and paid time off is a curse sometimes, because it leads to weeks not going outside, which then starts the entire cycle I've been working on disrupting all over again. and I know that the only solution is actually going outside even if it's just for a bit, but fuck if it isn't the hardest thing in the world sometimes.

and it's so at odds with how people know me, generally, folks at work, friends for the most part, because I've gotten real good at pushing through and just doing the things that my body tells me are dangerous, but then I stay at home for three days and I just.. fall apart.

it's not as bad as it used to be, I'm better at at least taking out the trash if I need to, and if I can work myself up to it even ordering food instead of going without meals if things get too bad, but it takes so much energy to do any of those small, everyday things that I should just be able to do. idk

I never really went to therapy for it even if it's the mental-illness shit I've dealt with for the longest time. they diagnosed me when I was 14 and by then I had probably 14 years of ingrained, bad habits built up. and they recommended group therapy which in retrospect probably could have helped a lot, but to me (teen bullied by other teens who felt unsafe around pretty much anyone, even at home) it sounded like hell so I refused to go.

I can still remember my mum telling me that I would instead have to work on dealing with it myself, finding strategies to live with it, I guess. we would play silly games like labyrinth before I'd have to go to school, but I'd just cry through it all and then oftentimes circle back home when I knew everyone would be out. suffice to say I did find ways to push myself to do the things that felt like walking into fire, and it worked enough to a point where it just felt like holding my hand over a candle flame for a little too long. bearable if painful. and I guess I'm still stuck there.

trauma therapy helped me process some things and put others in perspective, enough to at least move on (never forgive or forget though, that I'll leave to the people with bigger hearts) and we worked through some of the hangups, but overall not much has changed nor do I think it would given more time and therapy.

like my grandmother I struggle to make myself do things that I know I should sometimes. (and the Innerer Schweinehund is too strong) at least if I don't technically need to do those things to survive. instead I'll eat plain rice for weeks on end. or candy from two years ago, or drink coffee and eat nothing for a week. which, I know, is disordered eating which in and of itself would probably benefit from more therapy, but I guess as long as my body can deal with it it's good enough as is.

[mr-leach]

Okay so I am so close to taking my supervisor to the side and tearing her to shreds and then taking the bosses aside and tearing them to shreds because there are just so many little things about every single job that are never set in stone to the point where unless you are glued to your supervisor (impossible in my department for reasons that I will soon explain) you will have no idea how to do the job right and at least one thing will have to be fixed/changed and you will of course be blamed for it.

Yesterday I had a job where it was unclear to me where the tags should go on the garment. This has happened so many times that it might as well be a daily occurrence. Our athletic tops usually have the label on the left side seam of the garment, because tags on the collar are obtrusive and uncomfortable. Except when the customer wants the tag on the collar, of course. Usually, when that happens, the technical drawing on the work order reflects this. There's also another, secret rule that if there's two tags attached to the bundle (our logo tag plus the legally required fibre content/washing instructions tag) then it MUST be put at the collar. Sometimes though, the people bundling the job will just throw the additional tags in, even though they're not required, and we're supposed to just know when they're not supposed to be used. I have had jobs with hundreds of pieces where I was given two tags and put them on, only to be told after the fact that I should not have put both tags on. It's very frustrating. Oh, but SOMETIMES the customer will ask for things that we supposedly NEVER do, like they will want shorts with 2 tags, and so in that case we ARE supposed to sew both on, even though normally we NEVER sew 2 tags into shorts.

You can see how this gets annoying.

Now you might think that the order sheet that comes with each job would give us this information. It does not. Sometimes the sheet will have context clues on it, like when there's a tag clearly visible on the technical drawing. Sometimes, if there's only one tag, I know there's an 80% chance that tag goes on the side seam and not the neck. But otherwise, I typically have to ask my supervisor.

My supervisor is never around. She actually runs 3 different departments in different parts of the factory, and she is almost never in ours. She has a "helper" in each department, who is someone that basically keeps track of the work to be done and relays any issues to her (before you ask, no, they do not get paid more for the added responsibilities. Obviously. 🙃). Does the helper have access to the secret knowledge regarding the minute details that aren't accounted for on each order sheet? No. Why the fuck would they know that.

So if I have a question about where the fucking tag goes on something, the person directly overseeing me has no way to answer that question. Oh, but our supervisor doesn't like it when any of us get up from our machines and goes looking for her because it makes her look bad, so I have to ask her helper to do it for me. This goes for any of the half dozen of us in our department, meaning that sometimes, my guy isn't even around to relay my question, because he's busy relaying someone else's question. Idk how me sitting on my hands waiting to just ask someone where a label goes does not also look bad on my supervisor but what do I know. When this happens several times a week, or even several times a day, it can get really fucking old, and honestly it makes me feel bad for the helper because he also has his own work he needs to get done and he's stuck running around having to ask dumb questions that should be easily answered by the order sheet. So I'm really just incentivized to try and figure this shit out on my own by process of elimination, while running the risk of getting it wrong.

So yesterday! I had shirts to make. Tags on the side, right? Er, well, there's 2 tags. Well, then, tags on the back neck, right? But wait a fucking second. The technical drawing shows a printed tag (where the tag info is printed onto the fabric directly, for comfort). Maybe the person bundling added 2 tags by mistake? Maybe it's still a side tag, but with 2 labels, for some reason? I have no clue. And helper has gone somewhere. Fuck.

So I sew both tags into the side. I mean why the fuck would they make sure to show a printed tag in the technical drawing if they wanted back neck tags. It takes effort to add the printed tag to the drawing. And if the two tags in the side is wrong, I can blame it on the person who bundled the job for putting in the extra tag.

EXCEPT NOPE WRONG it was back neck tags all along! Apparently I should have seen the two tags and ignored any and all other information and just known to put them in the back neck. I fucking. Hate this shit. Of course when I explained my reasoning, the helper also thought it was weird that the technical drawing showed a printed tag and not a physical tag so he had to run around and be told by the supervisor that yeah, it was supposed to have two tags at the back neck.

Where is this information??? Why does she know where it goes and why is that so different from the context clues?? Also the person bundling must have got that information from somewhere too, how do they know???? WHY ISN'T IT WRITTEN ON THE ORDER SHEET??? GAAAAHHH!!!!!

[jasontoddiefor]

Isekai ltit anon here and I died for a hot second but the little concept you wrote absolutely revived me,,, just the idea of Taeju showing up in the fanciest carriage Euihyun has seen in his life and then next thing he knows he’s whisked away while this dude is fawning over him in front of the servants while he is actively going through the five stages of like disassociation in real time like what kind of fairy tale nonsense is this there has to be a catch (the catch is he’s going to fall in love with you for real and you won’t be able to walk for a week) and ahhhh I love it so much I can picture it in my head perfectly

Also the au of au where Taeju is like Euiyoung is definitely my bastard son is one of the funniest concepts, I’m absolutely cackling, all I can picture is Euihyun being like “he is not the father, I do not know this man, ignore everything he is saying” while Taeju’s parents are so desperate for a grandchild they are full on like “I know our asshole son has wronged you…but please live with us forever so we can spoil your baby rotten” and just Euihyun being like there is no illicit love affair this is my brother not my child and everyone else being like “sure Jan…anyway what should do for the wedding ceremony?“ I’m wheezing I love your writing and versions of Euihyun and Euiyoung isekai shenanigans

Welcome back, dear anon!

I’m glad that little concept revived you. Honestly I think like Euihyun has some skills that he can make use of in this world. Besides the fact that it has some lazy worldbuilding as quite a lot of cheesy historical romance novels, he’s worked so many practical jobs, he’s fairly sure he can make a good quiet life for himself and his brother somewhere. A little house somewhere, a vegetable patch. He’s never had a garden and he can probably give one to his brother now. It’s probably healthier to grow up here than in a moldy apartment. Probably. Is tetanus a thing here? Nobody ever dies of regular sicknesses in these books so he assumes they’re gonna be fine.

And then this fucking thing happens.

I think he’s probably simultaneously dissociating out of it and throwing one of his dear fits bc lbr he has never once taken anything sitting down.

But also, man, the situation is to his advantage, isn’t it? He’s gonna be paid for sitting down and doing nothing, which doesn’t sit well with him because there’s always a downside, but between falling further into debt and dying for it as a canon fodder side character and enduring the hm. Who is Taeju? Lbr he’s probably the original villain or the main antagonist besides The Big Bad Villain. But yeah, enduring that guy’s attention for the what? Next one or two years until the actual plot of the story starts is worth it.

His brother gets treated like a little prince and if all he has to do for that is sit still and look pretty on occasion. Then good. Fine. Could always be worse.

Now to the other thing sdofhsdlkhf I know our son has wronged you. Wheezing. Dying. But man it would make Euiyoung’s real dad coming back highkey a nightmare scenario. But yeah idk. Ltit needs more fic. Desperately want a role reversal fic

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey makenzie, i've got a bit of a situation here. i'm 25, never had sex before, and never paid attention during those safe sex psas bc i was sure i was ace and never wanted to have sex, due to a number of reasons - i'm autistic and very particular about things touching my body, especially food or fluids (i need to wash that shit off *immediately* or else i will combust) and probably also not eating enough but i digress. i matched with an amazing guy and now i think i want to do it but (1/?)

(2/2) i honestly don't really know where to start here. i know the risks and so i want to buy condoms but for some reason i get nervous about people seeing me buy condoms. i also haven't ever looked into getting PrEP or monkeypox vaccine bc i didn't plan on suddenly becoming a horndog. idk i guess i'm just looking for general advice for a 25yo male having sex for the first time and what i should expect/how should i prepare. like idk what douching is and at this point i'm afraid to ask lol

oh yeah, one more thing i wanted to add - while i'm not nervous about going into this bc this guy is seriously great and understanding as hell, i worry about my roommates hearing us and idk how to approach that. i probably worry too much as they seem to be fine with the noise level here (and me making protein shakes at 1am) but like. i still do. should i play music? put a sock on the door? i don't want them to hate me. ps: i love your blog and hope you have a good day

jesus christ I'm about to fit so much sex ed into one post

1.) start wherever you want; sex is whatever you and your partner(s) want it to be. only way to do it wrong is to do with without consent and communication.

2.) here are two fun facts about being an adult. the first one is that no one actually gives a shit about you buying condoms. no one gives a shit about you buying anything. your fellow customers aren't scrutinizing your purchases they're too busy worrying about you scrutinizing your purchases. the cashier definitely doesn't care, the cashier is contemplating killing everyone in the store and then themself. just buy the condoms.

the second fun fact is actually a house rule of mine, which is that if you're too squirrelly to acquire safer sex supplies yourself you don't get to have sex. the good news on that front is that ordering condoms online from places like Condom Depot is, like, really easy.

3.) PrEP is great to know about but only necessary if your intended partner is at risk of transmitting HIV to you during sex, which is a conversation y'all should have if you haven't already.

getting the monkeypox vaccine is always a solid move if you're in a high risk area, although I do need to emphasize again that it's worth talking to your partner about whether or not they're a considerable risk for transmitting monkeypox (if they haven't had any other partners in the last two weeks, or none of their other partners have tested positive in the last two weeks, they're probably good). regardless, you can easily find somewhere to get vaccinated here.

4.) re: first time having sex, if you've spent literally any time following me you know the best advice I can give you is that you should literally just Talk To This Guy about what you both want to do and feel comfortable with, but watching this video from incomparable sexologist Lindsey Doe isn't a bad place to begin. I'm a big fan of how much she emphasizes lube!

5.) douching is the practice of washing out a bodily cavity with fluids. many people like to do it before anal sex to lower their risk of defecating on a partner by accident, but it's totally optional and not a requisite for anyone. if you're interested, you can find a good introduction here:

it's worth noting that douching presumes anal sex will be taking place, which is something to discuss. anal sex can absolutely rule but it also requires care; I'd recommend this other Lindsey Doe video for some hot tips on how to start exploring that:

if anal penetration isn't your cup of tea but eating ass may be, check out dental dams - even a clean anus runs the risk of harboring fecal matter and baby you do NOT want that in your mouth! in a pinch, a dental dam can be made in a hurry by cutting a condom open down one side and laying it flat.

6.) similarly to sexual partners, the best way to learn what roommates are okay with is to ask. do the courtesy of giving your roommates a heads up that a guest is coming over and that sex is on the agenda; let them decide if they want to clear out, put on headphones, or what.

why are you making protein shakes at 1 AM. what's happening there.