#idk man she has the cutest name

[murdermitties]

can i request sweetpaw or sweetbriar?

Sweetpaw

[fastandcarlos]

Soft Launch » George Russell

summary: follow the journey of george’s soft launch to reveal your relationship

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 629,492 others

georgerussell63: not many people I’d cook for, but tonight I’ll make an exception 🥺

28,492 comments

username1: you can cook for me anytime

oscarpiastri: chef russell on duty

username2: wait are we all just gonna pretend we don’t peep the sleeve

username3: @/username2 I thought it was just me wtf…the painted nails too

username2: @/username3 has georgie finally bagged himself a girl??? 🤔

lance_stroll: I thought the only person you cooked for was me

alex_albon: and here I was thinking the only love in your life was me

username4: this better not be a shitty soft launch russell

yukitsunoda0511: looks like you’ve done a good job!!

georgerussell63: @/yukitsunoda0511 thanks for all the tips yuki

username5: idk who this gal is but I’m already jealous

username6: all I want is to taste the cooking of george russell

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 838,293 others

georgerussell63: adoring the view in front of me these days 🩷

73,382 comments

danielricciardo: I can’t help the fact I make you smile so hard mate

landonorris: I think you’ll find that he was looking at me

georgerussell63: if I was looking at either of you…I wouldn’t be smiling

username7: is this to do with wine and pasta girl?

username8: you can’t just leave us like that george

username9: I have got SO many questions wtf

lewishamilton: 🫢🫢🫢🫢

username10: @/lewishamilton what do you know? share everything

charles_leclerc: what you looking down at on the right there?

username11: @/charles_leclerc surely it’s the girl from before??

username12: this is sooo unfair

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lance_stroll, maxverstappen1 and 1,392,503 others

georgerussell63: suited and booted (with thanks to my girl) 🤵🏻

56,328 comments

username7: not the secret pair of hands in the middle pic

alex_albon: she’s the only reason you were best dressed tonight

carlossainz55: SMOOTH OPERATOR 🏎️

username13: what sick pleasure do you get out of teasing us like this?

username14: I don’t think I can cope with much more of this

landonorris: all her hard work on the bow tie for you to just take it off 🙄

maxverstappen1: hair slick ✅ suit dapper ✅ you must be impressing someone

oscarpiastri: got her so whipped already she’s helping you dress??

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 732,113 others

georgerussell63: enjoying the view in blue 🌊

42,832 comments

landonorris: gotta maintain that figure to maintain the girl

username15: adorable height difference confirmed 🥰

pierregasly: is your girl’s favourite colour blue by any chance?

charles_leclerc: gotta admit even I’m slightly invested in you two now

username16: we’re so close to a face reveal now

username17: just hurry up and tell us everything george

username18: I’ve never felt softer for this man

lewishamilton: the names russell…george russell 🕶️

georgerussell63: @/lewishamilton just call me then next bond

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, landonorris and 1,293,493 others

georgerussell63: date night with my love 💕

62,994 comments

username19: I can almost see a face!! 😬

username20: this soft launch game is torture…c’mon george we love her already

charles_leclerc: who knew george russell could be edgy on the gram

landonorris: glad to see all those social lessons I gave you are paying off 🧑🏻‍🏫

georgerussell63: @/landonorris ofc lando, I could ever have gotten a girlfriend without you 🙄

carlossainz55: how’ve you managed to get the whole of f1 invested in your relationship?

georgerussell63: @/carlossainz55 you’ve just got to be devilishly handsome

username21: even blurry they look so happy together

username22: they’re already my fave couple ever

lewishamilton: you guys are the cutest - btw I love 🫢🫢’s smile too

username23: @/lewishamilton just spill the beans already

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, schecoperez and 1,238,003 others

georgerussell63: introducing my love to how us brits do summer 🥰☀️

41,226 comments

carlossainz55: aww look at georgie all in love 💕

danielricciardo: surprised you didn’t need to pack an umbrella mate 🌧️

georgerussell63: @/danielricciardo if we’d have been another five minutes the heavens would’ve drenched us 😭

username24: it’s the little tiptoe reach for me

username25: the height difference is tooooo cute

maxverstappen1: why do I feel like I’m looking at photos that belong to those weird fics some of our fans write?

georgerussell63: just call us your otp

maxverstappen1: otp???

georgerussell63: @/landonorris found you a new student

schecoperez: no one prepares you for when your son finds his first love 🤧

yukitsunoda0511: dont forget the guy who taught you to cook pasta all those months ago 💔

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

likedby mercedesamgf1, landonorris and 934,774 others

georgerussell63: my love told me that I look good with black and white, so black and white it is 🩷

72,483 comments

landonorris: did she finally convince you to play some good tunes in those ears too??

oscarpiastri: I also think you look good in black and white if that counts for anything 🔥

georgerussell63: @/oscarpiastri you win my love for the most predictable comment in the world

username26: tell your love that she is spot on

charles_leclerc: must be serious when the admin team is giving you likes

georgerussell63: @/charles_leclerc they’ll do anything for the right price

username27: I just want a boyfriend like george russell…is that too much to ask for?

ynusername: 💕🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, maxverstappen1 and 1,585,603 others

georgerussell63: the best end to the best race, I couldn’t do it without all of your support y/n 🏎️💕

tagged: ynusername

103,482 comments

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

——————

replies and reposts are always appreciated ✨

 ˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[lewisvinga]

birkin mom ! | lando morris x fem! reader

summary: everyone wondered why y/n disappeared from the paddock and stopped posting until lando accidentally revealed something grand

fc; zara janice

warnings; none??

birkin mom pt 2

masterlist !

landonorris posted on their story!

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,002,928 others!

yourusername: surprise ? ( p.s. i was serious when i said i wanted to be a birkin mom ) ( p.p.s. i did yell at lando )

landonorris: i said i’m sorry!

yourusername: baby said u gotta work for it & buy mama a bag

landonorris: she can’t talk yet??

yourusername: ok.

landonorris: WAIT I’M SORRY!

username: y/n said really said “walk him like a dog”

liked by yourusername!

username: oomf was right omg

username: mother (actually)

username: bye not lando apologizing so fast after y/n said ok😭😭

oscarpiastri: congratulations! surprised lando didn’t reveal it sooner he almost exploded!

yourusername: because i made him promise to wait but he broke that promise :)

landonorris: i said i’m sorry💔

username: con😭grat😭ula😭tions😭

liked by yourusername, mclaren, and 1,403,937 others!

landonorris: the prettiest mom to be 🌷

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: oh lando norris, you know how to make a woman cry 🥹🥹

yourusername: curse you pregnancy hormones!!

yourusername: i forgive you💗💗

yourusername: even if i’m still kind of angry w u

landonorris: i love you too💓

username: HER MATERNITY PICS😍

username: she’s glowing, she’s gonna be such a pretty mom😩

username: imagine the y/n l/n as ur mother omg

mclaren: 🧡🧡

liked by landonorris !

carlossainz55: how is lando having a child when he is a child himself??

yourusername: i’m going to have 2 kids soon, can you believe that??

landonorris: i am a grown man? and responsible?? and a soon to be dad???

yourusername: babe, you wanted to name our baby papaya….

landonorris: it’s literally such a cute name idk what ur talking about

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 1,730,028 others!

yourusername & landonorris: welcome to this world, baby norris, mama & dada love you very much 💗

username: i am crying

username: y/n’s smile omg

username: they’re gonna be fantastic parents, i can just tell

danielricciardo: so when can i meet my goddaughter ?

oscarpiastri: who said you were going to be the godfather??

carlossainz55: who said either of you were going to be the godfather?? it’s going to be me

oscarpiastri: ha funny joke !

landonorris: battle to the death!

yourusername: see what i mean when i said i was going to have 2 kids…

username: new grid baby unlocked ✅

mclaren: newest and cutest addition to the papaya army, welcome baby norris!! 🧡🧡

liked by landonorris & yourusername !

username: y/n really manifested being a birkin mom 😭😭😭

username: so excited for mom y/n vlog content!

yourusername posted to their story !

[aangell333]

hi<333 can i do like a fluff and smut request for aaron hotchner? a virgin//very innocent reader (18+, ofc) who’s maybe spencer’s sister or something, and she meets aaron and he knows she has a crush on him? super flirty banter and lots of touching until it drives the reader crazy, but she won’t admit that it makes her horny? eventually aaron, who’s always so blunt, asks if she’s horny at that moment, and they have a talk about her wants and needs? maybe daddy issues! reader? obv eventual full smut

idk i’m a sucker for daddy! aaron taken innocent readers virginity

thank u <333

how you managed to land a job at the bau, the behavioural analysis unit, at the f-b-fucking-i is beyond you. you’d answered an ad, filled out a form, did a quick interview and boom. you’d been appointed to a team.

granted, it was only as an assistant, most likely running the team’s coffees, but still. that’s running coffees for the fbi. how many people can say they do that for a living?

you walked in on your first day a bundle of nerves. you’d chosen your cutest-but-still-work-appropriate outfit and genuinely tried to walk in with your head held high. but the whispers and mutters that followed you through the bullpen left you more nervous than you’d started. willing yourself not to run, you sped up your pace slightly and trotted up the stairs that lead you to your new boss’s office.

you knocked on the door quickly, trying to soothe your racing heart.

“come in.” a deep voice called you, commanding and loud. you cracked the door open and stood awkwardly at the threshold. your eyes widened as you took in the scene.

the man that sat before you was nothing you’d ever seen before. it was as if he’d been crafted from the purest marble sent by the gods, chiselled away at by the most experienced and meticulous hands. he was incredible, deep, black eyes that matched the neat hair on his head, the quirk of his questioning eyebrow as you gawked at him.

“m-mr- detective hotchner. I’m y/n y/l/n, your new assistant?” you squeaked out, trying not to cringe at how shaky and scared you sounded. his face cleared, like ripples calming on a pond, leaving it smooth and glassy. like a pond who’s lips you wanted to capture on yours and-

“ah, of course! come on in and take a seat,” he rose from his desk and held his hand out with a soft smile.

your feet moved of their own accord, moving you closer to the beautiful man as you placed your hand in his. his other hand came up to clasp yours as they shook, yours disappearing beneath his. once he released your hand, you both sat down at the same time. the guest chair situated at his desk was slightly uncomfortable and you tried not to squirm in the plastic.

“would you like a tea? coffee?” he asked you, closing the manila folder on his desk and tucking it away.

“I feel like I should be asking you that,” you joked with an airy laugh and you tried to fight the swoon that threatened you at the sound of his own chuckle.

“don’t worry about that just yet. let’s get you acquainted before we start rushing you off your feet,” he said with a quick smile.

the two of you then started discussing your boundaries. what you were willing to do, what you’re a little more less experienced in doing. he assured you multiple times that you would be kept well away from any unsubs, no matter who requested what of you.

“I don’t want you in any danger, y/n. it is my responsibility to keep you safe.” he’d said in a serious tone, making himself clear to you.

a week later, you found yourself in an nypd precinct, listening to the detectives spitball theories. you were perched on a spinny desk stool offered by mr hotchner - having not yet got past addressing him as his formal name, no matter how many times he insisted you call him hotch - as he perched on the desk behind you. his hands gripped the edges of the desk, knuckles ever so gently brushing your back each time you squirmed in your seat.

“…targeting women much like this young lady here,” you flushed as the captain of the precinct gestured a hand towards you. he chuckled and winked at mr hotchner above you. “better keep your assistant safe, detective hotchner.”

he went on to give more details of the case to his team, but you couldn’t listen. your breath was caught in your chest and anxiety curled itself into your chest.

“hey, hey, it’s ok.” mr hotchner mumbled from above you, leaning down slightly towards your ear. you felt his knuckles gently skimming up and down your back. the action calmed you slightly and you leaned into his touch. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

the words made you swoon… and strangely… made your core clench? a frown briefly furrowed your brow and you wondered what caused such a reaction down there. you had rarely felt anything down there apart from pain during your period, and you hadn’t felt such a… tingly feeling since your teenage years.

the captain dismissed his team and he and the rest of the bau came over to you and mr hotchner. their appearance made him sit back up and move his hand back to gripping the edge of the desk.

“so, what’s the move, hotch?” derek asked, folding his arms and adjusting his stance.

mr hotchner hummed and frowned, bringing a hand up to his mouth. you gently rolled your chair to the side a little so that you weren’t in the way, not liking how the attention on him made you feel out of place. mr hotchner began reeling off his plan, giving jobs out to the members of his team. his tone was commanding and firm, leaving no room for argument as the team started their investigation for the case.

“..and, y/n, could you collect some menus from restaurants in the area for us all to look over so we can decide on a place for dinner?” he asked you, his voice significantly softer and kinder with a gentle hand on your shoulder. you nodded and gathered your things, heading over to the briefing room where the team had set up.

throughout the day, you couldn’t shake that ache and tingle in your core. you lay back on the hotel bed, staring at the ceiling above you with your hands folded on your stomach. your core was throbbing by now, begging for… you didn’t know what for. but it throbbed. and ached.

you’d never… done anything down there. never touched it or had it touched. back in high school, your friends would always tell you about their sex lives and who they were sleeping with. but you were always too… shy. too nervous to do any of that. so you stuck to yourself, no matter how people teased you for being a virgin. and you had always had that in the back of your mind whenever anyone had tried to initiate anything with you. how inexperienced you were. how you didn’t know what you were doing. so you’d stop it all entirely. and that’s how you ended up here, 26 and not once touched.

maybe mr hotchner wouldn’t mind… you found yourself thinking. you often found yourself thinking of what mr hotchner thought of you. if he liked you at all. you were pretty sure he did, he was very nice to you and gentler with you than he was with everyone else. he was almost like a father to the group…

he was more of a father than your own was. your father came and went from your home as he pleased, leaving you to care for your sick mother yourself. and when he was home… it wasn’t very pretty. you cringed at the amount of times you had to pick your own bedroom lock after he’d left again so that you could tend to your mother. you were scared of your father, knowing he could find you whenever he wanted to find you. the thought made you sick to your stomach.

you huffed and shifted onto your side, pushing the duvet off of you. your eyes drifted to the digital clock you’d brought with you, 12:46. not great considering you had to be up at 6am the next day. but sleep seemed like a foreign mystery to you at that time, so you decided a cold shower would help shake this unusual feeling from your core. so that’s what you did, kicking the duvet away and padding over to the en-suite.

you sat in the briefing room of the precinct slightly dazed the next day. you’d slept in by accident, and the sound of derek banging on your door was what woke you up. at 6:57am.

mr hotchner sat beside you as he watched the captain at the front of the room, describing his theories. your tired gaze was fixed on the pot of pens in the middle of the table as you zoned everything out. the strange tingly feeling was back in your core, poking at your entrance. it had started when you were making coffees for everyone and mr hotchner had leaned over you from behind to grab you the pot of sugar you couldn’t reach, his hand placed gently on your waist. the interaction had left you breathless and… throbbing. you squirmed in your seat and pressed your thighs together, praying it would go away.

you screwed your eyes tight shut and opened them again, your eyes flitting to the movement you saw in the corner of them. mr hotchner had his hands folded on the table, wringing them together. his knuckles and fingers flexed, the veins in the back of his hands popping. his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing his pale forearms and the large vein that struck out there. you blinked your eyes hard again, not understanding why this only increased the ache in your core and made your hole clench up tight.

your attention was drawn back to the room as everybody began rising from the table, heading to do their tasks for the day. you followed, grabbing leftover books and folders. a hand encircled your upper arm and you came face to face with jj giving you a soft smile. the door clicked behind derek, leaving you and jj alone in the room.

you liked jj. she was a lovely girl. the two of you had quickly become close and she was the first one - besides mr hotchner - to ask you to run an errand that wasn’t coffee. the two of you often gossiped with penelope garcia and sometimes elle greenaway too, the girls more of them than not sharing their ‘sex-capades’ as penelope likes to call it. jj was one of the first to really trust you.

“hey, sit down for me,” she said, sitting in the seat beside you and retracting her hand. you sat down too, following her actions mutely. “you ok? you’ve been a little… out of it. hotch asked me to talk to you.”

you cringed a little at that, not liking how mr hotchner had acknowledged your not-all-there-ness.

“I-I’m fine. I just… dunno. things have been a bit… different lately.” you said, folding your legs and pressing your hands together.

“different?”

“yeah. I just… you know you were telling me about that guy you met. the one who… slept over at your house.” jj chuckled a little at your euphemism but nodded.

“yes, I remember. why, has a guy slept over at your house recently?” excitement gleamed in her eye a little but you quickly shook your head.

“nono! no… but… you remember you said you felt… achey down there? the good achey.” you said and jj slowly nodded.

“well… i’ve just been… feeling that. and… I don’t know what to do about it.” you mumbled. “and… I don’t wanna… touch myself-“ your voice dropped to a whisper and you cleared your throat “-but… it needs to stop.”

jj chuckled a little.

“okaaay, well. do you know what caused it?”

you hesitated before nodding quickly but stayed mute.

“do you… wanna tell me?”

you shook your head quickly.

“right. well. whatever or whoever has turned you on-“ you cringed “-is most likely what will help to get rid of it. and yes, y/n, that means sex.” she chuckled fondly at the way you cringed again. she stood up, placed a hand on your shoulder and kissed your temple lightly. “you’ll be fine, y/n/n. I believe in you.”

and with that, she left the briefing room.

for the rest of the week, the tingle mostly stayed with you. on the jet back to quantico, you sat at the very back, thighs pressed firmly together and head fuzzy. your eyes stared straight ahead but were unseeing and your plush lips were parted but soundless.

your eyes flickered over to the movement in the corner of your eye, catching mr hotchner as he stepped out of the bathroom while shaking his hands to rid them of the lingering water droplets. his eyes met yours and he sent you a quick, fond wink with a smile. you swooned internally at his large presence, wanting nothing but for the older man to swoop you up and-

you stopped yourself and looked away before your thoughts could become any more explicit.

your eyes widened as you realised mr hotchner was walking towards you. he wore a kind smile as he took the seat beside you and placed a hand on your forearm. he gently unclasped your hands as you anxiously wrung them together and moved the one nearest to him to the armrest that separated his and your seats, his large fingers softly encircling your wrist.

“hey, did jj talk to you?” he asked you, voice politely low to keep your conversation private. you could only dumbly nod your head, eyes lost in his. “good, good. is everything ok?”

you actually swooned slightly this time at his protectiveness but managed to force your voice out of your throat.

“u-uh- yeah. I’m fine just… bit of a strange week,” you were glad mr hotchner took your words the way he did, assuming you meant ‘strange’ in regards to this being your first case.

“I agree,” he chuckled. “and an awful unsub to be your first, please understand that not everyone in the world is like that.”

you giggled in response.

“do you need me to grab you anything, sir?” you asked him, wondering why he was taking an interest in your well-being; no older male had ever done that for you. his brow furrowed.

“no, no, I was checking if you’re ok. the health of my team is important to me. you’re important to me, y/n.” his face was full of sincerity as he spoke and his eyes twinkled. your own eyes, on the other hand, threatened to fill with tears as a ball settled in your chest. your throat was suddenly raw and your head ached.

“oh…” was all you could force out.

“y/n, are you ok?” you nodded quickly and bolted to the bathroom, stumbling down the aisle of the jet.

in the toilet, you could feel your breath shortening rapidly. he cared about you. no man had ever said such words to you, and if they had, it was never to your face. but for some reason, you panties felt… sticky. and that familiar ache settled in your core. you tried to muffle your whine of desperation as the feeling returned, desperately trying to figure out just why you were feeling distraught and… turned on, as jj had called it.

once the jet landed, you grabbed your bag from the overhead locker and hurried inside of the bau building to dump everything at your desk. you sat in your desk chair and took a big sigh. mr hotchner had asked you to stay a while in case the team needed anything, so you did just that.

you checked the time on the big clock opposite your desk. 5:34pm. nice, not too late. mr hotchner said the team didn’t take long to debrief after a case, unless fbi time and civilian time worked differently.

which you assumed it did, because the team didn’t leave the briefing room until 6:15. you had pages and pages of notes that mr hotchner had asked you to take.

your distress had passed now, but that ache was refusing to leave. you sat back at your desk and huffed, pressing your thighs together in an attempt to shift the tension elsewhere.

from the desk near yours, derek shot you a quirked brow.

“you ok there, sweet girl?” he asked and you couldn’t help but flush at the nickname.

“I told you not to call me that.” was all you could mumble as you dumped your notepad in your drawer. derek grinned and pushed his chair over, leaning his beefy forearms on the desk.

“why? cuz it makes you all flustered?” he teased. you sat back in your chair and huffed.

“normally, it’s a compliment. but I’m not really in the mood for compliments right now.” you sighed, pushing a bouncy ball penelope had given you around your desk. you gently flicked it to him and he stopped it with his fingers before flicking it back. the two of you played the little game of rolling the ball between each other as you talked.

“why? cuz you all frustrated?” he smirked and you frowned, still not lifting your eyes to his.

“I’m not frustrated, I’m just… flat.” you said and he chuckled.

“no, no, I mean… sexually frustrated.” you blushed a deeper red at his words and sat up straight in your chair.

“I-I am not! shush!” you scooped the ball up in your fingers and bounced it against his forehead. he flinched slightly and chuckled with a grin.

“come on, the whole bau can see you got it bad for hotch. we’re behavioural analysts. and, if it helps, he’s got it bad for you too.” he winked at you and bounced the ball across the desk to you.

“no he doesn’t.” you grumbled as you swung your chair side-to-side slightly. derek chuckled again and rolled his eyes.

“whatever you say, sweet girl,” he grinned, winking again before he rolled his chair back to his desk. you frowned, easily seeing that he didn’t believe you.

eventually, people began drifting home. penelope was the first to leave, humming a tune and loudly calling goodbye as she went. then it was jj, and then derek. gideon left soon after, quickly followed by elle, leaving you and spencer in the bullpen.

mr hotchner was tucked away in his office working on some paperwork. he had come down a few times while the team were dispersing to refill his mug and grab a snack. his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his tie loosened. his forearms were on display, that one vein running down making your head foggy.

at one point, as the temperature in the bullpen dropped as the night went on, he had noticed your shivering and draped his blazer around you. he had stood over you with a fond smile as he helped you slip your arms into the blazer. your cheeks had flushed red and you were unable to tear your eyes from his. once he’d walked off, spencer had thrown you a look before quickly looking back to his folder.

the action had once again settled an ache in your core, your entrance clenching tight as his scent invaded your senses. you fought every urge tugging at your nerves to bring the blazer up to your nose and inhale.

“night, y/n,” spencer said with a quick open-handed wave before he clutched his satchel to his stomach and left.

“see ya later, spencer,” you smiled at him as he walked away. the elevator dinged, indicating his descent, leaving you and mr hotchner alone in the building.

you glanced over your shoulder to his office. the blinds were drawn and soft light spilled from beneath the crack of his door. you sighed, fiddling with the hem of his blazer. you sighed and turned back to your computer screen, looking at the game of solitaire you were playing to distract yourself from your throbbing and wet core. you glanced at the clock on the bottom of your screen, 9:54pm. damn… a few minutes later, mr hotchner’s door opened and his footsteps descended the stairs.

“spencer went home?” he asked. you hummed in response, tearing your eyes away from the cards automatically flitting up to their correct spaces and giving him a smile. mr hotchner smiled as he saw your screen. “nice game.”

“thanks, beat my record.” you suddenly blushed. “sorry, I shouldn’t be playing games on company time.”

“that’s quite alright.” mr hotchner said with a smile, leaning on the edge of your desk and folding his arms. “you don’t have any tasks to do.”

you would’ve nodded, if you weren’t too distracted by the sight of his arms almost right in front of your face. you shifted in your seat as your core throbbed with heat and your mouth suddenly filled with saliva.

“y/n?…” the sound of mr hotchner’s deep voice calling you back to reality snapped you from your trance.

“I-I’m sorry- I- I was distracted-“ “y/n, are you horny right now?”

your mind blanked. you stared at his face with a surprised expression, your brows raised and lips parted. you couldn’t think, only embarrassment coiling in your chest.

“I-…” you trailed off, not finding the words to answer your boss’s such blunt question. your core ached again, however, and you could feel wetness gush into your panties. his fingertips gently grasped your jaw and he leaned down to you a little.

“I asked you a question, y/n,” he commanded with a slight smirk, clearly enjoying the power imbalance between the two of you. you swallowed and tried to fight the feeling of your eyes glazing over. “are. you. horny?”

“I am.” your voice came out in a whisper.

“what was that? I’m gonna need you to speak up, sweetheart.”

“I am. I-I’m horny, sir,” mr hotchner’s smirk grew at your words and his fingers caressed your jaw.

“good girl! using her big girl words.” you lapped up the praise tumbling from his lips and subconsciously shuffled closer. he chuckled at this. “so eager. you want your big boss to help you?”

“please…” your hand came up to hold his wrist as he squished your cheeks in one big hand and gently tilted your head up a little further. he hummed in faux sympathy before chuckling.

“come to my office. i’m going to sit down and you’re going to lock the door and close the blinds.” his hand moved to cup your cheek before he went to sit behind his desk.

you scrambled to fulfill his order, hurrying quickly after him. you stood at the door, fingers fumbling around the lock before darting to pull at the blinds. the warmth between your legs was now hot and poking at your untouched hole.

“sit.” mr hotchner ordered, gesturing to the seat before his desk. you did so, pressing yourself into the plush cushions. “now. let’s talk about what you’re comfortable with before we start. what kind of things are you into?”

your mind blanked.

how did you know what you were into if you’ve never done anything?…

HERE YOU GO SORRY ITS SO LATE!!!

PART TWO WILL BE LINKED HERE 🩷🩷

[babydollmarauders]

COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others

y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;

to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)

i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.

but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.

when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.

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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!

jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway

y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3

jackhughes i’m taking it down

y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!

jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!

user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹

user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?

y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly

jackhughes i can’t say i blame him

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?

jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?

trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you

y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?

trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME

y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧

trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”

y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about

john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH

user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭

jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours

y/ndevils00 NO!

jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave

y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING

jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…

y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺

jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over

user07 “my sid” oh look i’m crying 🥹

ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?

y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!

ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.

y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹

ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.

y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!

user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?

y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?

jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!

dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3

dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!

user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD

e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always

y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!

e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino

y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!

e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney

y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind

user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER

lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass

y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!

_quinnhughes how?

y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3

edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!

y/ndevils00 yes??

edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!

y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM

adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!

y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE

jackhughes so do you? constantly.

john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️

y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET

john.marino97 now give me your phone

y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox

user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!

john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!

[everestica]

♫ - Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everybody, this post is how some of the characters I liked over the year spend Christmas with you and some (towards the end) what they got you for Christmas! (PS If there is anybody else you would like me to add to this feel free to ask and I might come out with a second part!!) ♫ ---------- ♫ ---------- ♫ ---------- ♫ ---------- ♫ Gepard - He loves being able to sleep in, but since he knows how excited that you are he only chuckles a little when you wake up in the morning and immediately get out of bed to go look under the tree (No matter how old you are you gotta see the gifts in the morning), he'll only sit on the couch holding you close to him as you open each others gifts!

Silver (Twst) - He loves Christmas as much as the next person but CANNOT wake up in the morning for anything 😭 (Que you and Lilia trying to wake him up in the morning) but as soon as he is awake tho expect him to give you your present very fast just in case he falls asleep again (He dose when Lilia is going on about Christmas when he was a kid)

Deuce Spade - Most excited ever, He's more likely one of the first ones up so you never have to worry about him not being awake in time, He will be the first person to hand you a present more specifically the one from him, it's three of his favorite things mixed together, Christmas, presents, and you!

Tachihara Michizou - Manz just doesn't wanna get up in the morning, as much as he loves you he wants to sleep in, but as soon as you do get him up he will be hella excited and drag you to the tree with him, as excited as he is tho he will be super cool and very toned down about the present he got you, and by present I mean Presents (Man has two good paying jobs I mean you can't blame me for adding that in) He actually got (most of) your gifts just though out the year when you had mentioned something in passing. (Idk that shit's the cutest to me, get you a partner who remembers the small stuff 😭)

Akito Shinonome - Again another one who just wants to stay in bed and cuddle all morning but instead of you waking him up, it's Ena. She's was too excited about this to be sleeping any later then like 7 AM. So now the two of you have been dragged out of bed and now starting to cuddle on the couch as people start getting the presents from under the tree, one of the last ones was from Akito. It was a symbol of how the two of you met, at one of his concerts so it was a necklace with a microphone on it and a little charm that had A + (your initial) on it.

Furina - SO EXCITED, Will get up so early and go rushing to the tree to see the presents underneath, loves all the pretty lights and how they illuminate the room and all the wrapped gifts under the tree, at a decent hour though she will go and wake you up by jumping on you, she won't hurt you tho. (Nobody wants to go to the ER on Christmas) Will love opening presents, and loves passing them out as well, but she loves you even more and loves the smile on your face when you see the cute things that she got you!

Hajime Hinata - Again another guy who just kinda chuckles at how excited you are about it, I mean he likes christmas don't get me wrong but he loves your expressions about it much more, though he would never tell you that. Will def let you drag him to the tree and sit him down somewhere (as long as you sit somewhere near him, at least so he can still reach you) Loves seeing you smile at what he got for you at the end though and that's the best gift he could ever ask for.

Blade (HSR) - Seems like he's pissed off all the time standing somewhere behind you as you, Kafka, and Silverwolf all sit down around the Christmas tree and start passing out and opening gifts though one of the last gifts is a smaller box you notice as Kafka hands it to you, smiling, the tag says "To (Name) From Blade." That's why she was smiling, even though you had gotten gift for Blade you didn't expect him to get you one, when you finally opening it and look inside it's a bracelet with his initials and your initials, with coordinates on it. The first place that you two met.

Thoma - He loves christmas and loves spending it with you and the Kamisato siblings, seeing you and Ayaka spending time near the Christmas tree, as Thoma watches over the two of you as Ayato finishes up signing something for the yashiro commission. As he finishes they start getting gifts, one of the middle gifts was a medium sized gift the tag reading that it was from Thoma. As you opened it, there was something small inside it looked exactly like the rope he wore in his hair, and it was. It was a smaller version though one that looked like it was meant for around the ankle or the wrist, which ever one you picked he tied it on for you as a reminder that he was always with you, no matter what.

Malleus Draconia - Loves seeing you excited about the holidays, even if he doesn't fully understand it he will always support you and if you're happy then he is too! He loves watching you open the bunches of gifts that he got you and even loves the gift(s) that you got him, one in particular that stood out was the last one that you had gotten from under the tree. It was known to almost everybody that you stayed in Diasomnia more than 90% of the day since when you didn't there would def be some lighting outside that night. So instead he had gotten you a temporary Diasomnia room card, since you needed magic to get in, so it was infused with magic so you could get in you needed, along with one of the armbands that all the people of Diasomnia wore. It was really a gift for everybody, Sebek and Silver because they would get sort of a break of watching over him if you were always with him, Lilia since he might end up finally getting grandkids, Malleus since he would be able to see you more, You because you wouldn't have to stay in ramshakle all the time and be worried that one day you would wake up without a roof, and everybody else in Diasomnia since they wouldn't have to worry about an angry housewarden.

♫ - Please if you are going to repost any of my works anywhere else, ask permission first! There will be almost a 100% chance that I will say yes as long as you just ask and give credit! Thank you for your understanding!

[heavyhitterheaux]

Down For Life

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by y/ninsta, druski2funny, urbanwyatt, normani, jaysontatum, and 105,236 others

autumnharlow: daddy watching mommy's favorite show even though he said it was dumb

urbanwyatt: he's watching the bachelor again isn't he? y/ninsta: urbanwyatt and was mad as hell that his favorite contestant didn't get a rose lmao autumnharlow: urbanwyatt all we heard was him screaming at the tv, "Kelsea?! Kelsea?!? OVER MARIAH? Are we serious right now? How can he not see that the way she even spells her name is suspect?! who spells it like that?!" y/ninsta: autumnharlow not too much on my man now! lmaooo jackharlow: what the?!? who took this?! autumnharlow seriously? autumnharlow: jackharlow mommy made me y/ninsta: it be your own kids telling on you smh jackharlow: y/ninsta well you know if we were on that show, I would choose you every time blancahood: jackharlow I guess so because she would have fought anybody that came near you lmao y/ninsta: blancahood lmaoooo no lies told jessicakelce: I still remember her beating up that girl at lunch and she grabbed 2fo's milk and hit her in the back of the head quiiso: I WAS DYINGGGGGGG LAUGHING LMAO jackharlow: well that girl shouldn't have asked me to the dance IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND, she had it coming lmao urbanwyatt: and right before our winter formal lmao yungskylark: so we just chilled in her backyard that night because she got suspended lmao shloob_: look we were like either all of private garden goes or none of us goes 😭 y/ninsta: yall been down for me since the beginning and I love it 😭

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, quiiso, privategarden, jessicakelce, and 1,497,062 others

y/ninsta: idk who let these two out of the house unsupervised but it wasn't me 🙃

jackharlow: y/ninsta IT WAS YOU! YOU SAID I COULD GO! y/ninsta: jackharlow I don't recall baby. You just left me by my lonesome. jessicakelce: y/ninsta you not by your lonesome with them six kids you got lmao go bother them y/ninsta: jessicakelce I'm hiding from them axelwyatt: y/ninsta mom, I'm hungry y/ninsta: axelwyatt mom? who's mom? urbanwyatt: y/ninsta you better answer your kids lmaooooo y/ninsta: urbanwyatt I don't have any autumnharlow: jackharlow DADDY, MOMMY ISN'T CLAIMING US jackharlow: autumnharlow who...... who are you? blancahood: lmaooo yall are a hot ass mess smh ivyharlow: that's okay, I'm telling grandma jackharlow: IVY, YOU BETTER NOT maggieharlow: jackharlow too late. you two are starving my babies? jackharlow: maggieharlow they have eaten us out of a house, home, car, yacht, all of it smh normani: I see number 7 in the future jackharlow: normani give me a few years y/ninsta: jackharlow give you a few years to do WHAT?! jackharlow: y/ninsta love you baby 😘

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, blancahood, brandisimmons, saweetie and 3,286,451 others

jackharlow: I know yall can tell who dressed them today 🥰

y/ninsta: Cash and Cam, my greatest joys 😍 ivyharlow: y/ninsta soooo we don't exist? we are your first born children? jessicakelce: OMG THEY ARE ADORABLE saweetie: my cutest littlest nephews! y/ninsta: ivyharlow I'm not claiming you as my child until you clean your room like I asked now get off your phone before I take it ivyharlow: y/ninsta fine smh urbanwyatt: outfits courtesy of uncle urby and auntie curse 🥰 theestallion: jackharlow has gotten better with his fashion choices over the years so I expected nothing less jackharlow: theestallion I'm ignoring you smh dualipa: awww my little babies!! so cute! brandisimmons: and look at those smiles! druski2funny: I already know from the looks on their faces, they about to be bad as hell jackharlow: druski2funny you better shut the hell up and not speak that into existence y/ninsta: druski2funny imma whoop your ass druski2funny: yall remember when I was babysitting the triplets and they tied me to a chair and put tape over my mouth? I was trapped for hours jackharlow: druski2funny lmaoooo I still have photographic evidence, how could we forget? y/ninsta: nah, but urbanwyatt got the worst of it because he was put in solitary confinement lmaooo urbanwyatt: y/ninsta don't bring up old shit smh jackandy/naremyparents: still so happy to witness the life that they created for themselves allthingsy/n: been here since the beginning and still going strong!

Liked by urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, blancahood, saweetie, quiiso, privategarden, and 2,384,200 others

y/ninsta: the face I make on a daily basis because these kids have me fighting for my life

jackharlow THIS IS YOUR FAULT

jackharlow: you wanna make another one? y/ninsta: jackharlow BLOCKED dualipa: jackharlow you've done enough lmao get off of her jackharlow: dualipa I can never do enough y/ninsta: jackharlow SAYS WHO? jackharlow: y/ninsta me 🥰 y/ninsta: normani look what you started smh quiiso: jackharlow y/ninsta yall can have another one and give it to me jackharlow: quiiso yeah right, all y/ninsta has to do is take one look at them and she's going to want to keep them brandisimmons: jackharlow she has a nurturing spirit, we all know this. that's why she was able to keep yall asses in check 2forwoyne: brandisimmons now why am I in it? brandisimmons: 2forwoyne because you liked to steal people's food back in the day smh 2forwoyne: look if it was left unclaimed, I was eating it y/ninsta: 2forwoyne sounds like my second born smh axelwyatt: maggieharlow they still didn't feed me jackharlow: axelwyatt now why are you lying? 🙄 maggieharlow: jackharlow that's okay. I'm coming to get them and feeding them and you can't have any claybornharlow: I'm coming too jackharlow: claybornharlow the accidental child has returned y/ninsta: JACKMAN STOP IT RIGHT NOW claybornharlow: y/ninsta it's okay, I'm just biding my time jackharlow: claybornharlow what are you planning? 👀👀👀 y/ninsta: oh good lord smh claybornharlow: jackharlow that's for me to know and you'll find out when the time comes ivyharlow: uncle clay just blame it on autumn, she does everything else she's not supposed to autumnharlow: ivyharlow and that's why you're adopted ivyharlow: autumn, I look exactly like our mother, try again axelwyatt: I'm still the favorite sooooo the two of you arguing is unnecessary smh

Liked by jackharlow, cardib, generationnow, estgee, lilnasx, drusi2funny, 2forwoyne, and 4,291,763 others

y/ninsta: Ivy, Axel, Autumn, Nova, Cash, and Camden Harlow's momma 🥰

Damn that was a mouthful 🤣

jackharlow: we going for number seven 😍😍😍😍 y/ninsta: jackharlow don't make me block you again saweetie: jack, pleaseeee let my girl live lmaoooo y/ninsta: saweetie that's okay, he's going to wake up one day and hear the tires screeching out the driveway and he'll have to fend for himself for 48 hours urbanwyatt: jackharlow and don't call me to help you druski2funny: jackharlow or me. I've had enough of my fair share of terror of the Harlow children y/ninsta: NOT TOO MUCH ON MY BABIES NOW 🤨🤨🤨 autumnharlow: y/ninsta nice of you to claim us, mother y/ninsta: autumnharlow don't you have homework to do? jessicakelce: the blue hair baddie has returned! sza: do I hear a girls trip in the future being planned? jackharlow: sza NO. not unless y/ninsta can put me in her suitcase quiiso: jackharlow now bruh....... urbanwyatt: jackharlow lmaoooo now you know good and well privategarden is having flashbacks from the last time when we had to BEG neelam to buy you a plane ticket to go and see your wife yungskylark: he had everybody's ass stressed out claybornharlow: and was getting on maggieharlow's nerves so I know it was bad lmao she was calling me saying 'please come and get your brother to entertain him because I don't know how much more I can take' lmaooooo axelwyatt: he's been a simp since he was 14 and nothing has changed jackharlow: axelwyatt being a simp is what got you here so tread lightly and you are just as bad if not WORSE than me when it comes to your mom autumnharlow: hmm dad has a point, ax y/ninsta: yall better not come for my baby! jackharlow: y/ninsta I knew you'd have my back 🥰 y/ninsta: jackharlow I was talking about axel jackharlow: y/ninsta SO YOU JUST LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF? y/ninsta: jackharlow yes, you can handle it urbanwyatt: LMAOOOOOOO axel is literally jackharlow in a kid's body

Liked by brandisimmons, theshaderoom, blancahood, sza, theestallion, jaysontatum, urbanwyatt, and 2,182,963 others

y/ninsta: my face when jackharlow suggests we make another baby. SIR, MY VAGINA IS TIRED 😫

saweetie: jackharlow imma have to kidnap her if you don't let my girl live in peace jackharlow: saweetie not too much on me now. yall remember last week when you, her, and hot chips went to brunch and drank all those damn mimosas? I came to get her, drunk off her ass and she was damn near trying to rip my clothes off as I was driving. IT'S NOT ME, IT'S HER urbanwyatt: lmaooo and I was a witness to this so jackharlow is in fact not lying lmaoooo sza: hmm we have evidence in the group chat that suggests otherwise, but since you have a witness this time, imma let it slide y/ninsta: jackharlow I... what? not you telling on me jackharlow: y/ninsta I had to defend my name! you always throwing me under the bus! claybornharlow: jackharlow actually you do that to yourself, but.... druski2funny: now why am I up there? what I do?! y/ninsta: druski2funny you cheap as hell for giving the triplets a coupon to mcdonalds for their birthday and told them that they had to all share the medium fry that the coupon was for blancahood: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE 2forwoyne: now druski2funny you know better lmao lilnasx: he ghetto as hell and he doesn't know any better smh druski2funny: y/ninsta I HADN'T GOTTEN PAID YET jackharlow: druski2funny lies you tell jessicakelce: their faces were priceless lmaoooo autumnharlow: and he wonders why he got tied up smh axelwyatt: playing cops and robbers, but there was nothing to rob since he didn't have anything normani: I AM LITERALLY CRYINGGGG druski2funny: now why everybody coming for me?!? y/ninsta: druski2funny and you wanted to be his life partner so bad, but cheap as hell? that was not about to fly smh jackharlow: y/ninsta sooo about number seven? y/ninsta: jackharlow you know I'm down for you for life but.... ABSOLUTELY NOT smh jackharlow: well it was worth a shot I guess smh

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[pandaroboto]

Taskmaster Recording Report

This will be a long post and it has spoilers, so proceed with caution. More after the cut.

I will put in two different sections, what happened on warm-up and between takes and what they cut from the episode and I remember. WARM UP

Greg told people to stop sending sexy DMs because he would disappoint all the ladies/some guys.

He introduced Alex who came to the stage and hugged Greg's...knees?

Greg told the audience Alex was a master and could mimic any animal doing a dance style. He did a guinea pig first and it was the cutest thing, then a wolf (there is a picture of this that was used on a press release) and then a lion. When Greg asked about a dance style I yelled SAMBA with all my strength and then I saw Alex trying to samba as a lion. It was amazing.

Mark Olver asked who came from furthest to watch it and I raised my hand and said Brazil and he said BULLSHIT, you didn't come here just for that. I then explained I also was going to see Tim Key in Cardiff the next day and he was like "Oh..she did came here just for that then"

Again British people can't understand my name so I was referred as "Brazil" for the rest of the afternoon

I was also questioned about how do I watch the show and I quickly replied Youtube .

He made me list my favorite contestants to see if I could stay in the country. I tried to think which contestants were on the YouTube series uploaded. I then said Bob Mortimer, Mike Wozniak and Mark Watson (Alex smiled a bit when I said his name). Olver went " I can't believe someone in Brazil was watching the Woz fart a pile"

When I was telling I am from Brazil Alex waved at me and I was sure he knew who I was because long story short a bunch of friends really made me feel special and got me a signed book by Alex and he knew I was going to be there after travelling for 14+ hours.

At that point Greg said "Did you come for me???" and I pathetically went YES Y ES YES. He waved at me and IDK till today how I survived this.

They joked about a guy being first row and not being a fan,Mark asked who he had to fuck to get those seat and greg was pointing to himself.

They said we were clapping at the wrong places and that would confuse Alex and Greg

After the recording when I got back to London randomly meet Asim Chaudhry on Leceister Square. He was so sweet. We chatted a bit , I talked about how Sandman was big here, and that he had Brazilian fans and he got very excited and telling his mates about it

STUDIO

Sue got a massive round of applause. I think she and Julian got the big whoops from the crowd

The prize task was so much longer. Lucy went for ages talking about the ghost of the dog, and Greg kept asking questions. I knew most of it would be cut, but Greg kept mentioning during the episode and made me question how they would edit the references. They are bloody genius those editors.

Sam's Pinocchio made quite the impression, and Greg had a lot of fun with it. They talk about Pinocchio's penis, there was questions if it grew too with the lies. And Greg kept saying Pinocchio during the recording.

Sue's monkey orgy story was longer too.

When they showed Sam getting super closer to Alex, Greg mentioned Alex was very uncomfortable with touch and to prove that he got really touchy. BTW guys the amount of hand touches, and whispers behind the cards...they are insane

After the team task they were basically talking about how kinky it was, and Greg joked about Alex tied up , hogtie style and that he enjoyed. This was the thing I was most excited and I hope they put on the outtakes because I know how the fandom will be mental about it.

Greg is...MAGNETIC! Like the man demands attention and is very hard to not be looking at him. I kept looking at them at the studio and mostly ignored the tasks because I knew that I could see them later.

The live task took ages to set up and to reset after every round, Greg even joked we would spend the night there. It was more or less 3 hours of taping.

Greg interacted with us a lot because they had to reset the seesaw all the time, At one point he asked us to go "oooooh" that was show in the episode but he asked Alex using those words "Do you want the audience to oooh you while you pull it out slowly for me?" and he said with such a voice that...if I were a dude I would have a boner.

There was a point when Alex had to explain the outcome and he got it wrong and the audience corrected him to Greg's delight, he was very giggly. Sue got quite mad at Alex and the chains.

I guess it was this. At least that is what I took from my notes.

[tsukasalvr]

Hi I would like to make a request! (idk if this is where you submit it im new to tumbler lol)

I was wondering if you could do demon slayer headcannons about what nicknames the hashira would give their children! (ex. munchkin, sweetheart, hun)

I was thinking Sanemi, Kyojuro, Uzui, Mitsuri and Shinobu if you're ok with that.

Thanks <3

AN: THIS IS SO CUTE MY HEART AHH

nicknames they would give their kids

𝗔𝗻𝗶𝗺𝗲/𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺: 𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿

Characters: Sanemi Shinazugawa, Kyojuro Rengoku, Uzui Tengen, Mitsuri Kanroji, Shinobu Kocho

Warnings: I don’t proofread, veryyy short

A/n:I hate the picture limit

Demon Slayer masterlist | Main masterlist

Sanemi Shinazugawa

First of all, he would’ve never thought that he would have ever settle down with someone and have kids but he’s happy that he did

If it’s a boy called them little man and if it’s a girl calls her little woman just to tease them

“It’s not my fault I couldn’t just say no this little woman!” He said to you as he once again, spoiled his daughter

Never really calls them cute nicknames unless you cosider silly ones cute— such as calling them monkeys, booger, brat, and squirt

“Come on squirt, eat your vegetables and then you can have desert” he tries to bribe the child into eating the veggies

Kyojuro Rengoku

Loves to play with his kids and calls them his little firecrackers and his little bees

“Come on firecracker, up we go!” He very loudly says as he picks up his two kids at once, one on one arm and other on his other arm, and walks over to you

Loves playing with them and loves to call them munchkins and take turns in throwing them up in the air and catching them just to see them laugh

He lives his kids dearly and sometimes calls them his little sunshine’s, especially considering that they will most likely take after his bright hair

Uzui Tengen

Loves to play around with his kids and is very much considered a fun dad who likes to let them have as much freedom as possible

Because of his very tall and big muscular stature, he loves to let them hang of his arms and let them climb him likes he’s a tree which in turn, he calls them monkeys and koalas

Since he’s the sound hashira, he thought it was such a flamboyant idea to call them little songbirds and he thinks it’s the most genius idea he’s ever had and thinks he’s some comedic genius

“Sleep well now little songbirds, and maybe tomorrow we can go out and bother uncle Kyojuro” it’s not a maybe, it’s a definitely

Mitsuri Kanroji

Adores her kids and thinks they’re the most cutest most lovable kids ever

Will forever baby them no matter how old they are and will definitely call them her little baby/babies and sweetheart(s)

Will coddle them forever and tries to think of the cutest names ever like doodlebug, little doves, duckies/ducklings, baby-face, babykins

The names get cheesier and cheesier and there’s no stopping her. She’s very motherly and is almost like a bear with her cubs (and there’s a new name to call them)

Shinobu Kocho

Is super gentle with her kids and is like a mother hen watching over her chicks, and even called them chicks just to tease them

Since she’s the insect pillar, she thinks calling them doodlebug and ladybugs are the absolute cutest—but she only ever calls them this when she wants to tease them

Normally, calling them munchkins, sweetie and sweethearts are the usual and will protect them at all costs

She’s prepared for everything, a very small scrape on the knee? She has to go take care of her munchkin right away!

“You have to be careful next time sweetie!” She gently scolded her kid as she bandaged their finger even though it was only a paper cut

[leclerking]

max x reader (you)

enemies to lovers slow burn or fast burn idk idc

write a self indulgent fic when you're drunk

slayyyyyy im drink rn girlie lets write some fan fictionnnn

do i make this aesthetic? ok maybe i make it aesthrtic

MV01 | ★ BRO WHATS YOUR NAEM?

so its a clubbing scene. im drinking as usual. i want to dance but my friends arent dancers. they're also tired. a man comes up to me and i instantly want to rail him.

he says " you wannt to dance?? ' i said " Yeah dude all night' . so we're on teh dance floor and we're dancing and my friends are at a distance somehwer in the club

then i fall tired so i left to ge t a drink and join my friends, just as i sit down with them, this man. built like a tree. same one from earlier comes back and says lets dance again come on. i was tired but he was handsome so i wen back to dance. then again i was tired so i came bk. and so did he. "come onnn the night is young lets go back" he pleads with a huggee smile. as if he slept with a hanger in his mouth

"dude WHO EEVN ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ENERGY??' i asked as i was close to passing out. (just like rite now while i amm typing this)

but he just smiles and takes my hand and i follow him and we're again having fun on the dance floor. soon enough i couldnt do tjis anymore so i tell my friends that we can leave. and we'er sitting on a bemch outside waiting for our uber AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP!

"you want to catch a drink later someday again?"

i only stare at him. what does he even mean?? " i dont live in this city, i'm here for like 5 days. also WHO ARE YOU i still domtknow your name yet!! how will i even find you??'

'so u do want to find me? " he smirks " if we have one last dance left togther, maybe we will find eachother " and with that he left.

------------------------- im so tired im going to continue this when im drunk mext time i hop e i dont forget the storu--------------------------

HI I DDI NOT FORGET WE ARE BACK HELLO!

OKAY so now this is probably the next day or the day before we leave the city (i dont know which citty)

im in the lobby with my friends, just back from a whole tiresome day of site watching ? seeing?? the city. im waiting to get something frm the recption and i hear his voice.

" you're here??" "omg dude are you stalking me ?????" i ask with a smile! LIKE WHY AM I SMILING ??!!

" nope. my friend actually lives hre. i came to drop her off "

" you have a girlfriend?" "would not you like to know??"

" nvm i dont, bye"

"okay wait, shes just a friend, and besides i came to drop her AND her boyfriend." and idk what to say, i wanna ask him out but whats the point ill leave tomorrow...

" would you like to go out today? i know this really really great place that has a great salsa night..." not like the dip like the dance!

"sure i'd love that" why am i brushing like an idiot. i told him i'd meet him down in just a few minutes. and sooner than later we were at this beautiful place, you could see the coast. so many people were dacing through tje entire street.

and then so were we. one mimosa after another. one song after another and we were both super drunk and laughing anf giggling and dancing and just having the greatest time ever.

and we continued to have a great time even after we got back to my room. im sure we had great sex. and we wer arguing about something i dont remmbr and having a roast contest. thats all i remembr.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

because when i woke up, he was gone. not a single trace. no note, nothing... AND I STILL DIDNT KNOW HIS NAME. was he just a ghost? perhaps my drunk imagination or halusination...

went down for breakfast and met my friends. and they asked me about last night. AND I ASKED THEM FOR CONFIRMATION " SO I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD SEE HIM??"

maybe he was real.. but i had to leave in a few hours. maybe he would just have to remain a core memmory to me in this city. and it sucks because he has the cutest smile, and the best energy when it came to dancing.

the whole time, in the taxi, the airport , the flight.. okay maybe no tthe flight because i usually fall asleeep. i thought about him and waht a wonderful time we had.

would i ever see him again??

------------------------

I want to take this time annd appretiate some of my friends or moods as they say on thos web site. It is 3 am her

@crimsonicarus @lesharl-eclair @sebsore @sebscore @jelloecat @hellocat? @jelliecatz @scuderia-leclerc starcentral @strkctrl @stqrsctrl @deadaydreams @fhumingrace you guys salllaayyyyyyy 💗🤍💕❤️💔💌❤️‍🩹💟❤️‍🔥🫦💋

OH WAIT AND @KRIKRISYERR I for the lyf of me caaannot spell this useeename but they give me the best f1 fic recs

This account has lit rally Turner into my safe space 😭😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗

[nevernonline]

Hello, I was wondering if I could make a request for Seventeen 🥺🥺, how would he react to seeing you breastfeed your baby in front of him?🫣

hiii nonnie!! of course <3 I'm sorry this took a second keke. I was nervous to make it feel right, thank you sm for the rec!!

I just did coups-hoshi for now so it's not too long if you want some more lmk &lt;3

SVT's reactions to you seeing you breastfeeding and taking care of your child in front of them:

choi seungcheol:

he would melt immediately!! ik this man would be the biggest softie seeing his two loves enjoying themselves.

I can picture him catching his s/o off guard while they're casually resting as he comes home excited to see the two of them 😭

would come over to them without even saying hello verbally just giving a small kiss on each of their heads to join them sitting adjacent and watching with his little smile.

obvi the queen kkuma would come to enjoy being with her now larger family. (she is the light of MY life)

kkuma and baby cheol matching hair clips, when tbh?? (why can I write all day abt dad cheol idk??)

yoon jeonghan:

would be amazed he met someone who actually wanted to raise his child. not because he didn't think anyone would, just because he knows it has to be hard staying home while he works.

he would tend HAND AND FOOT while they take care of the baby, they worked hard so he would be working his ass off making them both so so happy.

constantly found giggling and buying the baby the cutest little gifts and playing with their sylvanian families families together.

seeing his s/o breastfeeding would def not be a surprise to him!! he'd be so happy that they just feel comfortable sharing the entire experience with him.

hong jisoo:

im so sorry shua as a dad would make me melt fr??

i can't even imagine the matching daddy x baby fits.

he'd sing softly to the baby while his s/o breastfeeds

Joshua def would make their s/o a killer ass playlist for while they feed just so the baby can have a chill time during feeding and so!! his s/o constantly thinks about them while they're doing so if he's not present.

hover dad <3 but in the best way!! knows he's busy so any little chance he can have to spend with his family he takes.

would be so excited about their child's first trip on a plane, probably to visit la and introduce them to the "LA Vibes"

100% best dad and husband a person could want.

wen junhui:

absolutely has read so many parenting books to understand how much goes into the process so he is always informed and not asking you too many questions if you're stressed.

when he saw you breastfeeding for the first time, he'd definitely be intrigued not in a seggsy way just in a genuine curiosity type of way.

he'd be really clingy asking you if you need his help for anything, pumping, diaper changing, etc.

above and beyond dad type like his s/o wouldn't even know what hit him.

him trying to teach your newborn his name >>>

playing you and your baby sweet piano medley's while plastering his cute smile all over the room.

def would enjoy sharing baby food

NEVER leaving your side, but in a helpful way, he'd def drop everything to be by your side like the best partner ever???

kwon soonyoung:

he's the mom 100%

I can picture him just literally going mush over the fact he has a child?? like??

would be tactile as hell to you while you breastfed, just crawling in the chair behind you to wrap his arms around you and his child, he has to be a part of it ALL.

showing everyone photos and videos 24/7 of the family he created. like he's so PROUD!!

compares his and his s/o's baby photos to see who their child looks like more and even if it isn't him, finds the smallest comparison to his features and gives them a nickname from birth based on that.

maybe a clumsy father at times but in the most endearing way.

makes choreography to cool baby songs and shows them off while his s/o feeds their baby for entertainment.

sings really soft and sweet love songs over a baby monitor.

[cluescorner]

Little Bits I got from the hangout (Spoilers for Kaeya’s Hangout)

-------------------

Things in parentheses are my own thoughts rather than canon stuff. 

- Kaeya is a very kind person at his core. Both to those he loves and total strangers. 

- So many people love Kaeya. From the staff at the Winery to the KoF to the citizenry of Mond to mild acquaintances to total strangers, Kaeya is truly loved by those around him. 

- The KoF are all co-parenting Klee together, though they disagree a bit on exactly HOW to parent her. 

- Kaeya is a great schemer but he TERRIBLE at coming up with fake names (Albert Rich...really?)

- Kaeya was a very shy child while Diluc was rambunctious. Diluc would get them into trouble and Kaeya would go along with whatever Diluc wanted. (I hope that we get a bit more of their dynamic when they were younger explored and that we see more of what Diluc did to be a good brother to Kaeya)

- The entire winery loves Kaeya. Not just Adelinde, not just Adelinde and Elzer. Everyone. They watched him grow up into the man he is today and they consider him a member of the family. 

- Adelinde has covered for Diluc and Kaeya’s antics in the past. (probably why she’s so adept at covering for Diluc’s darknight hero stuff.)

- Tunner knew that something bothered young Kaeya, that there was some sort of deep-rooted issue that it’s implied Kaeya never talked to them about. (If Tunner knew, it is very likely that others at the Winery knew that this kid had TRAUMA. My guess is that at some point somebody brought it up to Crepus, who had noticed something similar, and he then asked Kaeya about it. Whether Kaeya confessed at that point...IDK)

- Klee is the cutest thing to ever exist and she loves Kaeya so much (that is not opinion, it is fact). 

- Kaeya sometimes forgets which lie he has told to a person before and uses it twice. Diluc WILL call him out on this, before inevitably capitulating to whatever Kaeya asks. (Standard older sibling behavior, you put up a fuss but ultimately you will do literally anything to make them happy. It’s why I think Diluc is the older of the two, even if Kaeya also has many older sibling traits). 

- Kaeya got sick fairly often as a child, but has grown up to be healthier. Adelinde took good care of him whenever that happened. (Chronically ill Kaeya truthers rise up! Also, he was probably sickly because of a few factors: not having the immune system for Mond’s diseases, probably living in the Abyss, probably having malnutrition, he was abandoned in the MIDDLE OF A STORM, and because winters in Mond are harsh).

- Adelinde knows exactly how Kaeya likes his food.

- Adelinde cares a lot about how maids are supposed to behave, but only on the surface level. If Kaeya can word something correctly, she’ll happily capitulate. 

- Kaeya knows a lot about the winery business. (Supports my personal headcanon that Kaeya was supposed to take over the Winery’s business after Crepus’s death, but then the fight happened). 

- Kaeya loves to act and would consider doing it full-time. He is also apparently very good at it (wow shocker. Boy who was raised as a child-spy and is constantly lying is good at acting.)

- While onstage, Kaeya is allergic to subtlety. (I love this. 10/10, throw off the shackles of destiny and toss a prop into the audience). 

- Kaeya doesn’t like to bask in the glory of the good things he does, sneaking out just as songwriting preparations are getting good (Kaeya is also fairly shy at his core, but the persona he’s formed won’t allow for that). 

- Kaeya is known to be thoughtful and is a good gift-giver. 

- Venti wholeheartedly accepts Kaeya as a child of Mondstadt, considers him a friend, and wants to see him throw off the shackles fate placed upon him. (I actually liked Venti a lot this hangout. We get to see him be silly but also wise, understand how he feels about the whole ‘worshipping Barbatos’ thing, and watch him encourage the creativity of others. Plus, imo this hangout basically confirms that Venti 100% knows about Kaeya’s predicament and more than anything wants to see that Kaeya is happy and cared for in Mondstadt). 

- (Kaeya at least suspects that Venti is Barbatos. The way the english VA acted things was a little too pointed to seem like genuine lack of knowledge about Venti’s identity.)

- Barbara cares about family the most, to the point that she will suggest that over even the worship of Barbatos himself (this is unsurprising, but also very sad considering how rarely she and Jean get to interact as sisters). 

- Diona will sing hymns about fish-related foods and Venti 100% supports singing about that over Barbatos (also unsurprising). 

- Diluc CAN AND WILL kill anyone who harasses his staff (somebody please draw fanart of Diluc fucking bumrushing poor Captain Wu to defend the maids, the image is simultaneously sweet and HILARIOUS). 

[callsigns-haze]

Pretty like a crime

Prologue

Pairing: Agent Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Singlemom! Agent Y/n 'Cobra' Y/l/n

Word count: 1.5k

A/n: This is the first post to my new series so please be nice! I'm going to try to make this into a series so please show this story a bit of love and reblog!

Summary: Cobra is finally back on the agency and is finally back in the job. With Kai at home she has to jumble being a mother and a agent. She's sent to her first U.C mission but never thought that she would meet a blonde, green eyed Texan...

Warning: Fighting, violence, drinking, guns, shooting, choking, cursing, gun shot, knives and a lot of violence that idk how to lable

You were back for the first time undercover at a dinner masquerade party and lets say nothing has happened yet. Your job was to obtain the organization files and deliver them by the end of the night but for now there was no sight of the enemy.

All night you've been in continuous conversation and greetings with people who you never met. It was killing you mentally. You'd do anything to be in your apartment, with your son on the couch cuddling while watching the Midnight Garden.

Through a couple of sources you've been informed that an unknown to you, agent group was on this operation too, but if you revealed to the wrong person, you'd already be dead.

"Excuse me, is the seat taken?" A strong Texan accent asked behind you. Turning, you saw a very handsome gentleman. Wearing a black button top with a black pair of fine trousers and leather shoes, he greatly showed off the blonde gelled hair that was excellently groomed and those green eyes just sparked right.

'Wait! Why are you caring how he looks or not?!' You asked yourself. You shook your head in disagreement, and he sat next to you. You take a sip of your glass filled with water; not wanting to seem to unsuttle.

"I understand you're not really into this style of events?" He inquired. You give him a slight look and softly reply, "May I ask what gave me away? My resting face of a bitch or that my body language is all over the place?" He let out a slight laugh and extended his hand to you.

"Jakob." As you reached to his hand, he delicately lifts yours, kissing your knuckles. You smile as you never experienced such a gentleman before.

"And here I thought chivalry died out a long time ago," you comment. With a stylish smirk, he shakes his head in disagreement. "There's still a lot of us around, you just gotta know where to look. If I'm not ahead of myself, may I ask for your name?"

Before your undercover name could drift back into your memory one of his friends is calling him over. A man in a black suit, quite tall with soft brown curls and a eighties pornstache. With a disappointed sigh, he excused himself with a quick apology. You were again stuck alone in silence.

The great thing about this job assignment was the masquerade. Nobody will know what hit them and what they're getting themselves into and that was the plan. Surprise. And you'll get what you want. A long time has passed of you eyeing the door, waiting for the right person to come in and your own phone rings instead with a notification.

Tamara. Your babysitter just sent you the cutest picture of your son watching tv with all his teddies aligned so they can 'Watch it too.'

Your son. So young but so passionate and so loved. He was smart for such a young age and could easily figure out people's emotions. He got easily attached and loved spending time with Tamara. God, you thank her so much.

You quickly put your phone away once you laid your eyes on the member entering.

Adanson.

The man you were waiting for. The man you were going to steal from or kill if things got out of hand. He looks so smirked and full of himself even behind the mask. This was the easy part, find out what room he's going to. Try not to pull the trigger and leave before anyone notices any drama. But it's not going to be easy.

This man is one of the greatest ghost gun and drug dealer you know. Ghost guns are unserialized and untraceable firearms that can be bought online and assembled at home. They are often sold through "ghost gun kits," which include all of the parts and often the equipment necessary to build these weapons at home.

These kits are widely available and can be purchased by anyone, including prohibited purchasers, domestic abusers, and gun traffickers — without a background check. As these kits and guns are sold at gun shows and online every day throughout the country, they undermine all of the life-saving policies that state legislatures have fought so hard to put in place.

They were also not metal so they could easily slide through security. And the drug part. Fentanyl. Fentanyl is a potent synthetic opioid drug approved by the Food and Drug Administration for use as an analgesic (pain relief) and anesthetic. It is approximately 100 times more potent than morphine and 50 times more potent than heroin as an analgesic.

You're eyes following him from behind the mask and the glass, your gaze doesn't drop at any movement. He's with his source or someone who's along the lines, the unknown man whispers in his ear and shows the door to the others. But why leave when you've just entered? Why not go around the back? And why were you the one having to follow their trail?

Oh well…. Isn't that just life… But why are they leaving through the back door? And you're right on their trail.

--------------

Sprinting. You never ran so fast through a street beforez as you were getting pursued by three henchmen. You felt the cold air as it burned to intake, and those ankles of yours were gonna twist in all but the right angles. You got it. You don't know how but you've got the organisation files but you managed to got caught so you're kinda running for your life and may I say running in heels and a red long silk dress wasn't really in your plans. Thinking you could lose them, you run down an alleyway.

It was a wrong turn, a dead end. There was no exit and no way out. 'Shit!' you thought, panting. You hear three pairs of thick footsteps of the men who have chased you and a disgusting laughter as you turn back around facing the men.

You had to fight or you'd die. The largest of the three came up to you shoving you backwards against the stone wall. "You all are the same, think you can take what they want without consequences," that russian accent was so scrappy that you'd prefer nails on a chalkboard.

"Now little girl, give us the files or are you prepared for death," he grabbed you by the neck, you spitting in his face made him take a stepped back in disgust and a flinch. The two of the men couldn't have done anything until you say.

"I think I should be asking… Are you prepared?" Smirking you start your fight as one henchman ran towards you hoping to punch you straight in the face. Giving him a roundhouse in the nose and punching him in the lower stomach, grabbing his head and kneeling him straight unconscious, you failed to see the other man coming behind with a thick metal chain, causing you to check while cutting off your oxygen access.

You started pulling and shaking which only cause him to squeeze tighter. Your vision started to go. You knew this was the end when you could only cough and not breathe. You were about to pass out but suddenly you were dropped and quickly loosened the grip for yourself gasping to catch a breath.

A gun shot.

Let's be more specific a gunshot sent from the handsome Texan blonde who flirted with you this evening. Wait where did he go? You felt a hand on your shoulder, and with the remaining stamina you had, your fight or flight response kicked in.

You grabbed a hold of his arm flipping him onto his lap, straddling his chest. You pull you knife out pressing it against his neck. " Who the fuck are you and why did you follow me?" You inquired aggressively, not knowing if he was with or against you. "I'm an agent, ma'am. I work with the San Diego Mission Force." He pulls out his badge to backup his story.

Quite shocked you don't waste time getting off him and holding your arm out to help him up which he takes,"I apologize for my aggressiveness," you looked at him, he returned a smile.

'Fake it, till you make it, that's all you had to do.'

"You were doing what anyone should have done. You've got me quite wowed that you managed to do that after getting nearly killed." Smirking, you look down, 'this man was still flirting!'

Bang.

Your que to run. You swiftly kick his from underneath his feet causing him to fall to the ground with an 'oof' leaving his lips. Grabbing your gun, which is concealed in your purse, you point it straight in between that perfect pair of green eyes, "I'm warning you, try to follow me again and I won't hesitate to kill you."

He tries to get up but you stomp your heel onto his clothed chest causing him to cough after getting wind knocked out of his chest, "Do you know who you're messing with. And I legit' just saved your life," he groans as the gun never leaves your aim.

"The real question is do you know who you've messed with." And at that you're gone. Disappeared into thin air without a trace and you left him there on the ground as the rest of the daggers come running but there's no trace of you…

Thanks to @shanimallina87 and @callsign-magnolia for ideas and support

Tagging who may be interested:

@callsign-magnolia

@shanimallina87

@callsign-dexter

@rosiahills22

@horseslovers2016

@djs8891

@hookslove1592

@emma8895eb

@hardballoonlove

@kmc1989

@dempy

@mamachasesmayhem

@senawashere

[elizais]

Hello how are you? Have you drunk water today? stay hydrated!!

Anyway, I wanted to ask for chuuya x reader where she has light pink or lilac hair and loves colorful things like different accessories, trinkets in her hair, lively clothes, you know? He always dresses up in a cool but beautiful way, and because of his style he attracts attention

i'm good thank you so much for asking!! i wrote them as headcannons xx

chuuya x reader!! cutesy stuff i lovee this request thank you anon! headcannons !

-to start with, he adores your hair colour! the way it perfectly matches you and how you style it perfectly.

-when he first meets you, he is immediately drawn to the way you look. not in a way that he only cares about your appearance but in the way that it is you and he loves everything about you !

-when you begin to start dating, you don't want him buying you anything expensive like necklaces so he settles for the cutest pieces for you.

-sparkly little barrettes are his go to for you, he once bought a clip with pearls and he thought he broke you when he saw your overjoyed reaction.

-whilst he would never admit it, having orange hair wasn't his favourite thing but having someone as cute as you with bright hair made him incredibly happy.

-he can't even express how much he loves when you tie your hair with a ribbon or a bow, seeing you all happy makes him feel like his heart will explode!!!

-not to mention how he dresses in a very sophisticated way, given the PM members all seem to dress very formally but he just likes dressing that way! but the way you contradict his very proper clothing definitely makes the stubborn man more adventurous.

-maybe you're slowly introducing a light pink dress shirt into his wardrobe..

-when you are introduced to everyone at the PM as his partner romantically, how someone who usually came off as grumpy and had a very dark sense of clothing was with you definitely felt like a yin and yang type of dynamic.

-also idk why but when i read the bit about hair colour i had to think about the motorcycle!! he probably used to make the argument that "it's definitely red, [name]." but now he is willing to say its pinky red if that makes you happy.

-maybe like when you come home and see him half asleep, sat on the couch after a stressful day at work he would let you play with his hair.

"[name]?" chuuya asked when his mind registered his hair was being brushed as he was half asleep. his eyes still closed. "yesss?" you asked. "what are you doing?" he grumbled. "dressing up your hair" he could hear the smile in your voice, whilst this was not his preferred activity if he could sleep as you done it he was more than happy. chuuya responded with a hum before falling into a light sleep. his hair was decorated with barrettes, bows, small flower clips, and a braid on one side with pins in it. proud of your creation, you stood up and took a photo of your lover with his new hairdo. he wouldn't be able to keep it in forever but kept them in until it was time for actually going to bed. the next day he turns on your phone to check the time on your lock screen to be met with the photo of him.

[fiorella-a]

Hey! I'm new here, thank you!

Honkai Star Rail boys as... "Cupid's Chokehold" lyrics (+scenarios?? Headcannons?? Mini fic?? Idk)

Info:

-Gn! Reader

-Fluff

Welt:

"Not much of a girlfriend

I never seem to get a lot"

"And I know it sounds so old

But cupid got me in a chokehold

And I'm afraid I might give in"

"And we can be on the phone for three hours

Not sayin' one word"

>> Welt's type would be: mature and patient, that is until you came along. You're reckless and if somebody talked bad about anyone you cared about, you'd be pulling out your weapon in no time. Welt could only sigh at your behavior but can't do anything about it because, well, you're you and he loves you. His soft spot is barely noticeable unless you've known Welt for a while (ehem Himeko, ehem Dan Heng, ehem March) then you'd definitely notice his presence shift and facial expressions soften. When you went to Jarilo-VI with the three youngsters, Welt would message you from time to time;

"Hi, good afternoon. As soon as you arrive at a hotel please notify me and don't call unless i say so."

"Stay safe, darling."

Sampo:

"This is gonna sound like a bad joke

But momma I fell in love again

It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend"

"She's got a smile that would make the most senile

Annoying old man bite his tongue"

"Call it dumb call it luck call it love or whatever you call it but

Everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here"

>> When Sampo first revealed it to the trio (he told them first before rubbing it into Gepard's face <33) that he has a girlfriend, they LAUGHED to the point their stomach actually started hurting and Dan Heng had to walk out. When Sampo revealed it was you, they started to side eye him like– "y/n? The person that helped us here in the underground??" "THE Y/N?!" "😲😲❓" Long story short: they approved of the relationship but if they see you upset, they immediately blame it on Sampo.

With your golden heart reputation along with the trailblazer, it's no use for other people to hide such thankful and wonderful feelings whenever you help them. Sampo would be smiling like an idiot if he sees someone who's usually in a bad mood talk to you with smiles in their faces and that's something he'll brag about.

Whenever Sampo would be involved in a fight, you bet he looks at your picture first before going in like a beast to fight, he could only wish that you'll brag about him too <3

Luocha:

"And I know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long

But I promise this is on a whole new plane

I can tell by the way she says my name"

>> When you first met, you pronounced is name as 'Loo-cha' instead of 'lao-cha' and you thought he was gonna make you carry the coffin he always has (💀) but he laughed it off and taught you how to pronounce his name. When you guys finally established a relationship, you'll find out that he took your phone and changed his own contact name into: "Loocha my beloved."

(Your contact name in his phone would be your name but all scrambled up with 'my beloved' at the end)

Jing Yuan:

"She's got eyes comparable to sunrise"

"She's got porcelain skin of course she's a ten"

>> This pretty 'lil General loves every part of you, especially your face. Why you might ask? Whenever he lays his head on your lap while you're eating on the floor, he can see the shine of the sun reflect into your eyes as if you're the human embodiment of the sun itself. Your skin? He loves it. Every scar, every stretch mark, every wound, every bruise, every scar, it's a ten for him. He wishes to be by your side while you heal physically and mentally.

Dan Heng and/or Imbibitor Lunae:

"She's got the cutest laugh I ever heard"

"when I start to build my future she's the main component"

>> He melts whenever you laugh, giggle or chuckle! Doesn't matter if you laugh like a horse or smth, he just finds himself smiling at you– you look so genuine and peaceful that he finds himself affected by the energy you're radiating and he's not planning on leaving.

One night, when he was about to sleep he sees you go into his room and he feels the kiss you gave onto his forehead before whispering quietly to yourself, "I'll be here, making sure you're safe and peacefully sleeping with no nightmares." He had a hard time faking to be asleep– hell even trying to sleep! All he can think about is you both together in the future, making sure each other is safe and that no harm would ruin both of your bond.

Gepard:

"I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun, I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun"

>> Absolutely loves your energy and personality. His sister, Serval once said, "What if Y/n's actually the descendant of the Sun God? They makes my 'lil Geppie warm and breaks the ice surrounding him!" She'd laugh at her own statement while Gepard would think about what she said, yes, your personality does seem so energetic and your eyes radiates of what looks and seems to be innocence. But he damn well knows that he'd rather have the ice on his heart melt rather than the ice on his planet melt, call him selfish but he's a fool inlove.

Blade:

"It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as soon as I arrive home

And I open the door take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor

She'll be back into my arms once more for sure"

>> Being a stellaron hunter is tiring, he wishes he could rest for all eternity but he can't. That was his mindset before you came, now it's all 'when I come home will they be in the shower? Or will they be on the couch, waiting for me?' Of course, you're on the couch and running back into his arms you go! You can tell him that he's all bloody and sweaty but he doesn't care, as long as you're willing to hug him, he has no problem changing the way he comes home.

Arlan:

"I love it when she calls my phone

She even got her very own ringtone"

>> Arlan has a default ringtone for everyone except Asta, Herta, and you. Whenever you call all you need is a second (maximum is 3 minutes) and he'll pick it up speaking with you using his gentle voice, you can almost feel his muscles relaxing at your voice.

Asta promised Arlan that she wouldn't tell his little secret but she spilled it to you by accident saying, "OH! Do you know Arlan memorized your ringtone? That's why he picks up so quickly!" You could only giggle at what she said.

Caelus:

"she even cooks me pancakes

And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches

If that ain't love then I don't know what love is"

>> He Loves the way you care for him. It gives him a feeling of having a childhood or a feeling of once being young. If he gets sick, he always requests you to make him pancakes before taking his medicines and always waffles when he wakes up for breakfast. While you're cooking or feeding him, he looks at you with eyes full of love!

[moodywyrm]

dating basketball!abby at first n she notices you don’t steal any of her clothes like her exes in the past have.. and she’s like “babe :( don’t you want to wear my clothes?” (bc whenever she sees you wearing something of hers, her lil possessive side comes out and she’s so proud bc everyone recognizes those clothes) n ur like “,,but i’m chubby abbs idk if they would fit?” as she pushes one of her hoodies into your hands n shes like “trust me baby”

and bc abby tends to wear bigger clothes due to all her muscle hers would fit you perfectly,, n you put it on and just gasp like!!!! abby!!!!!!! they fit!! this has never happened!!!!! and from then on she’s insisting you wear something of hers to every one of her practices/games,, n she’ll buy new shirts and boxers and hoodies allllll for you bc she knows you love how she smells

y'all are gonna make me cry today, all these basketball abby n chubby reader asks are really getting me <3

I also think abby intentionally buys clothes that are bigger on her, partially for you but also because clothes that are too tight + not stretchy enough limit her range of motion and she hates it!! especially with her arms, her biceps, she hates when clothes are too tight on her arm. so! all of her clothes are either big n baggy, sleeveless, or super stretchy.

now. all of her exes (including Owen, the loser) would take her clothes because they're super comfortable and they smell like her. she literally expects nothing different from you, especially because she knows you love how she smells. so she's super confused when you show little to know interest in taking her clothes? whenever you would sleep over, before you practically moved in, you would always bring your own change of clothes, no matter how many times she tells you that you can borrow her clothes! ur always like 'it's okay baby, I brought my pajamas :)'

and god you want to! you would fucking love to wear her clothes, to show her off, to be seen and immediately recognized as hers. but honestly you're so scared that it won't fit. all of my fellow big girls know the absolute heartbreak you experience when you really want to wear something or you find something super cute and then it doesn't fit. (I literally just went through this like two days ago, with the cutest lil 90s dress that wouldn't zip </3). you couldn't handle the disappointment if abby's clothes didn't fit you, so you didn't even try.

until one day, when ur sleeping over at hers and it's been such a weird fucking day that you forgot your change of clothes. and you really don't want to wear your day clothes to sleep bc that is so >:(

and abby is just like, "baby, why don't you just wear my clothes?" literally already grabbing one of her hoodies (with her name and number on it <3) and a pair of her boxers. and ur internally panicking, because now you have to tell her.

'abs, it probably won't fit. we're not the same size.' and she's Flabbergasted. Bc one, she never even considered that but TWO. she knows it will fit. bc she buys all her clothes bigger. and stretchy. so she just pushes the clothes into you and goes "it will fit baby, trust me" (little do you know that when you two got together she purposely got her basketball hoodie n some of her other clothing pieces in even bigger sizes than she usually gets). she's leading you to the bathroom, letting you shower n get all clean n covered in her scent, because you always use her stuff when u sleep over. but when you get out, ur anxious as hell. it takes at least ten minutes from exiting the shower to get the courage to pull on her clothes, the boxers first.

and holy shit they fit. they're stretched over ur hips n ass, but they fit, and more importantly, they're comfortable. and u literally sigh in relief bc thank god man. but now is the real test: the hoodie. u clip ur hair up n pull the hoodie onto your body, and u almost cry bc. it fits. not only does it fit, it's fucking baggy on you. u look in the mirror and ur grinning like an idiot, all draped in your girlfriends clothes, her scent encompassing you entirely. u step out of the bathroom n practically run to abby, who is waiting for u on the coach in sweats and a wife pleaser, grinning from ear to ear when she sees you. u basically jump into her arms, hugging her so tightly. she hugs you back, strong arms circling your waist before she just goes "told you so, pretty girl"

this ask made me so warm n fuzzy bc literally one of my biggest sads in life is not being able to wear my partners clothes, so this was sooo fucking cute n sweet n made me so happy thank you nonnie <3