#idk. strangers on the internet don’t get to me that much

[mars-ipan]

every time one of my posts shitting on terfs gets notes outta nowhere my fight or flight is triggered

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ HEY TWITTER! (AA23)

pairing: alex albon x f!reader

summary: alex spends the night of a concert dancing with a beautiful stranger, he remembers everything about her, from her outfit to what her favorite song was — well, except for her name.

genre: humour, fluff

authors note: dedicated to my fabulous 🪐 anon for the most incredible idea (and also just being the most beautiful human being)

*faceclaim for y/n: yasmin wijnaldum (but please imagine her as you see fit)

dutch anthem antis ੈ✩‧₊˚

alex_albon just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

meanwhile, texts between lily and y/n ੈ✩‧₊˚

lilymhe just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername and 23,018 others

lilymhe one of us had way too much to drink last night, you have one guess

view all comments

yourusername um idk this is really difficult

lilymhe it’s the sticker gem still on your face that is getting me

user wait…. is this her…

lilymhe is this WHO

user GUYS I THINK THIS MIGHT BE HER

user GOOD JOB INTERNET

user @/alex_albon CAN YOU CONFIRM OR DENY

alex_albon OH MY

user IM TAKING THAT AS A YES

new activity ੈ✩‧₊˚

alex_albon started following yourusername ➡️

⬅️ yourusername followed alex_albon back

dutch anthem antis ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/n’s dms with alex ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon and 50,081 others

yourusername challenge: which one of us had the most fun this past few days

view all comment

alex_albon well if you don’t say you then i fear i bought you dinner for no reason

user IT WAS HER!!! WE DID IT GUYS

user he found out who she was a few hours ago and he’s already on her instagram… maybe he has more power than we thought

lilymhe definitely not me i’ve been sat in a hotel room while you go meet boys

yourusername he bought doughnuts for us to share. omw to you with them now🤝

lilymhe i take it back @alex_albon you can stay

alex_albon just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername and 150,608 others

alex_albon a story in 3 parts

view all comments

user idk what you did but i’m sure you deserved that middle finger

yourusername that food coma hit different

lilymhe you’re telling me i walked in to you both laying like vampires passed out

user the plot thickens

user heavily entertained by the idea of alex legitimately falling in love with a girl whilst drunk, hunting her down using the internet, and then going instagram official within 72 hours

user i don’t think they’re dating aha

user @/user ok well if he doesn’t want her then i do

user okay answer quickly are y’all dating

yourusername no one knows

alex_albon dating? what’s dating?

dutch anthem antis ੈ✩‧₊˚

williamsracing just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername, mclaren and 100,058 others

williamsracing hit tweet, who’s this?

view all comments

user WILLIAMS I LOVE YOU

lilymhe can u ask him to order me more doughnuts pls

user so real, using best friend privileges

user he’s not a want but a need

yourusername oh i miss that face already☹️

liked by alex_albon

mclaren @/williamsracing heard you may be in need of our services…?

williamsracing we’re listening👀

mclaren plans are already in action🤝

yourusername just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

williamsracing just posted stories ੈ✩‧₊˚

dutch anthem antis ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by lilymhe, landonorris and 56,109 others

yourusername safe to say he learnt the meaning of the word dating

view all comments

user FINALLY

user alex albon most successful twitter user

lilymhe AND I DIDNT HEAR ABOUT THIS???

yourusername i tried to ring you but you didn’t pick up😔

lilymhe @/yourusername RING ME AGAIN WTF

alex_albon @/lilymhe she’s busy rn😁

lilymhe @/alex_albon GROSS

alex_albon @/lilymhe NOT LIKE THAT

alex_albon just posted a photo, 1 year later ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 105,660 others

alex_albon got her number, remembered her name, kept her around for a year

view all comments

user wow who said romance was dead huh

user when we talk about having fanfic moments… that’s these two

user ok now bring her to the next race we miss seeing her in the paddock

landonorris and yet IM the one with no rizz

yourusername your girlfriend literally called you cute and you folded. shut up.

landosgf babe our relationship started because you hit me with your car ? that’s not rizz it’s stupidity

landonorris i regret ever introducing you two

yourusername i love you, or whatever🙄

mclaren @/williamsracing i’m not seeing a thank you?

williamsracing logan would have thanked us

alex_albon yes that’s right set him up next

logansargeant no thank yOU i can’t deal with the headache

——————

a/n: okay🤓 first post in a while. half written pre baby half written post. hopefully i’ve still got it LMAO. off to finish some written bits / write a new oscar imagine idea i had over the month

will i ever stop this mclaren matchmaking saga? i don’t think so

taglist: @iloveyou3000morgan @scopeiguess @gwginnyweasley @hetfieldd @sweetbabygirlsworld @wittywhispers @bingewatche @sebvettelsgirl @casperlikej @geniusalpaca @namgification @orangetreekid @

[theemporium]

violet fluff, luke and his grumpy gf who isn’t always the best at saying or showing her affection,

"I do love you, you know. Even if I'm shit at showing it."

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

29. “I do love you, you know. Even if I’m shit at showing it.” 

.

Usually, you were never one to let comments get to you. 

It was something you were well aware came with territory of dating someone in the spotlight, but it didn’t turn you away. You weren’t one to let the opinions of people you knew bother you, let alone strangers on the internet hiding behind a screen. It was something you could easily disconnect from, knowing full well most comments were made through a veil of jealousy and envy. 

You were secure in your relationship with Luke, why bother with people desperate to poke holes in something they didn’t know the details of?

It had been family skate day with the Devils and you had been told by Luke that the two of you were featured in the video the team posted on Instagram. You went to look for pure curiosity reasons, maybe drop a like before moving on with the day. You weren’t even sure why you looked at the comments. You weren’t sure why a few of them stuck out. 

user: she literally looks like she wants to be anywhere else, idk why luke is with her

And maybe in the long run, it wouldn’t have bothered you. But then you found yourself with the team a week or so later, at some random bar in Jersey celebrating another win to the streak. You were settled in the seat beside Luke, his arm over the back of your chair and a beer in his other hand whilst you nursed a vodka coke he had gotten you. 

“Oh, cover your eyes, people!” Curtis had laughed from the other side of the table, a teasing smile on his face. “They are within five inches of each other. Don’t get too excited, Luke!”

And—

You get it. You two didn’t show much PDA around the team or anyone in general. It wasn’t your kind of style. Luke sometimes held your hand or pulled you close, maybe a kiss to the top of your head. But overall, neither one of you was overly affectionate, especially in public. 

And it never bothered you before. It still didn’t. But maybe it did peeve you off just a little that people just assumed it meant something more, that the lack of affection was telling of something else, that you didn’t—

“Luke?” 

“Hm?” The boy hummed, his eyes glued to his phone screen as he aimlessly scrolled through what he missed in the old UMICH chat. His head was on your lap, his body sprawled over the couch whilst you were flicking through random channels. It had been a fairly normal evening for you both, minus the thoughts plaguing you. 

“You know I love you, right?” 

Luke paused, drawing his gaze away from his phone to look up at you with a frown. “What?” He questioned, an almost disbelieving laugh leaving his lips. “I mean, yeah. But where is this coming from?” 

“Nothing, I—” You cut yourself off, shaking your head as you reached down to push some hair away from his face. He leaned into the touch. “I do love you, you know. Even if I’m shit at showing it.” 

“I think you show it just fine, babe,” he assured you, his fingers wrapping around your wrist so he could tug your hand closer and press a soft kiss to your palm. It made your lips twitch upwards. “I know you’re obsessed with me, no need to go screaming it from the rooftops.” 

You scoffed, tugging your hand away. “Loser.” 

“Your loser that you love,” Luke retorted, a boyish grin on his face that you were endlessly fond of. 

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

.

[abacus-jpg]

Anyone else not understand why people are moving to cara. Like I understand it’s because ai and shit,, but like. What confuses me is as long as your art is on the internet, aslong as you chose to post your art online anywhere, doesn’t matter where, it is prone to being stolen by ai. To me ai is nothing more then when people trace your art and call it their own. Ofc I don’t want people to do it, but ultimately that will not stop them. I do have a cara account, I was the first to claim abacus. When I tried posting there a few times I’ve been met with an error message, alongside that the app is really buggy and slow. I don’t see why people feel the need to come up with new apps to post art on when you could just use tumblr, but then the argument with tumblr is that there’s no engagement. But if we all flock to tumblr like people are flocking to cara then I don’t see why engagement would be such a big issue. Even then, if engagement is your main concern with your art I feel like you should reevaluate why you are pursuing art in the first place. I had this struggle ages ago where I didn’t feel my art was worth anything because I couldn’t cap 10 likes. But I realized, my art is for me. I’m the one that should be enjoying it, and my reason for posting now is for other people to enjoy it, so if they don’t,, I really don’t care all the much. I understand it is really detouring to post ocs and to have zero engagement, but that’s just the way art is. Unless you are producing fanart consistently of shit that is made into content farms, I really don’t see how you can garner a following just doing ocs. That’s why, doing art for your own sake is more important than trying to please everyone. I can guarantee there’s atleast one stranger on the internet that will fw your stuff the way you want. And the more you post, the more the number will grow. Most of the time it’s gradual, but one goes to two, two goes to three. And maybe you’ll only get one or two. But the important thing is, there’s someone. If you feel like you have no one, remember your art is for yourself. You’ll always have one, even if that is yourself. This might all seem contradictive. But trust, only you matter when it comes to your own artwork.

This “speech”, if you can call it that, isn’t to deter people from drawing and posting their ocs. This is just to say, engagement shouldn’t matter. As long as you’re happy, that’s all the matters. Post and draw what you want aslong as it’s not straight ripping from someone else. Idc.

This whole thing was supposed to be abt Cara but it turned into a uhh,, Ted talk of sorts. I’m not saying people shouldn’t use cara, if it works for them then by all means go for it. But personally I will not be making it my main form of social media. In my opinion, it’ll be like that other art app people were using for a week before they forgot abt it, I forget the name of it but I remember the interface was a light pink, similar to Instagram,, but somehow worse.

IM GONNA SPECIFY THAT I DONT CONDONE AI STEALING PEOPLES ART EITHER,, just putting that out there because some people have a way of misunderstanding or misinterpretating things. Which is okay!! Because some people genuinely get confused and that’s alright. But like please don’t use so first handedly. With that being said, I’m just a nobody on the internet so why would you listen to me,, you won’t. But i uhh,, am gonna put that there anyways

Thanks if you read allat,, idk why you would but that’s anyways I guess😭😭😭

[abyssalzones]

i am so bad with words but ough. you get it. YOU GET IT!!! fords story is SUCH a compelling narrative on abuse and the recovery afterwards. i don’t think i realized how impactful it really was tho until a) reading your tbob review google doc (you articulate yourself so well and i loved hearing your thoughts on it!!) and b) those pages in tbob where the pines talk about bill (the pages where Mabel is dipping bill in guac like a chip lol). ive been in the gf fandom since i was 13 and bill was always always my fav character (who i was definitely not unhealthily obsessed with) so hearing that tbob was coming out was like a dream. i then read tbob and before I got to those pine pages i was kinda thinking like the rest of the fandom like “oh hehe these guys are exes” and then i read those pine pages and especially the part where ford says that he doesn’t have to feel shame anymore talking about his experience with bill… really hit me?? and then the sudden tonal whiplash when bill starts talking again hit me harder and something just clicked. like oh! bill is an abuser. oh my god. bill ABUSED ford. like it wasn’t just “omg hehe divorce <33 omg they’re exes <33”. like bill manipulated and used and abused this guy who’s been so insecure his entire life about something he couldn’t help and has always felt excluded and was so so desperate for praise and love. and for the first time in my stupid ass brain it clicked at just how awful and monstrous that is. so yeah. idk you probs don’t care and I’m sorry for filling ur inbox with nonsense lol but tldr you are one of a few people who actually grasp and understand fords character and treats his story about abuse with the care and respect it deserves. so… thank you? i love your art btw.

— sincerely someone who relates to ford pines a little too much

NO I DO CARE. I CARE A LOT

honestly asks like these make me feel like articulating myself is actually worth it in any capacity. I don't go into writing for the sake of changing people's minds since I know a lot of people likely won't be swayed by some stranger's essay on the internet about a cartoon, so it feels like I'm asking to get super frustrated if I think of it that way. but then every once in a while (mainly now, this is a very new phenomenon to me) I get to hear feedback like this and it shocks me every time. it's awesome to me when people go on a whole character arc about a piece of fiction because it reassures me that even in this little microcosm instance people often just don't have a moment where it clicks for them, and it could just take some time or the right set of circumstance. idk. probably a little melodramatic but I think it's cool + I like when people are good readers!

anyway, thank you!! this really made my morning :D

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

i feel like we’re finally at the age of information transparency on the internet that studio head execs are showing their own asses in an unprecendented way. like we all knew they were bigoted old farts who hate minorities and animation as a medium BUT now we have the entire hbo max tobacle, and that’s only the most obvious.

recently two tv shows for wings of fire and phoebe and her unicorn were cancelled– the first because of netflix budget cuts and the second because “nobody wants to watch a female-led show.” as for the latter, that’s so obviously not true that it’s laughable, what with basically every disney animated show being female-led and extremely popular incl. owl house and amphibia, legend of korra being revered rightfully for its badass queer woc main, the female-led infinity train seasons being just as popular as the male-led, my little pony getting a terrifying number of fans... i don’t even have to explain this to y’all i don’t know why i am, it’s just obvious that isn’t the case. the reason i lumped it in with wings of fire though is it shows that these execs literally have their heads so far up their own asses they don’t realize that they’re literally throwing away money. both wings of fire and phoebe are EXTREMELY popular with their target demographic– i work at a library and go to bookstores like, once a week, and wings of fire is THE kids’ series right now– every library and bookstore has a dedicated shelf just for it, every kid in the us and canada reads these gay lil dragon books. i don’t know much about phoebe but i do know that i have to shelf her graphic novels every goddamn day so they’re getting checked out constantly. making these shows would give these studios an immediate HUGE audience but they don’t want it because.......... ???? honestly the only thing i can think of is bias against animation, but also i do know that while WoF is very cishet in the first few books, later books add quite a few queer dragons and that could def be a reason. 

netflix also recently told craig mccracken, creator of some of the most beloved kids shows of the 2000s, that “original content doesn’t sell anymore” and they need to do reboots and remakes instead. which is funny coming from the company that made stranger things which, while nostalgia-bait for the 80s, is an original fucking story. also the owl house and amphibia are disney’s top shows rn. the most popular kids movie right now is encanto, a completely original story. and that’s just in KIDS MEDIA, do i need to bring up the popularity around everything everywhere all at once, squid game, the knives out franchise, etc? we’re in an age of remakes and reboots yeah but original stories can still make money and gain fans if you make a good fucking product. but netflix doesn’t care about that, as evidenced by how fast they cancelled first kill and also every other show that was good.

and idk what it is but something about the state of the internet right now means that we’re all seeing this in a way we hadn’t before. we’re all seeing how fucking dumb these execs are– well, dumb or actively malicious. or even trying to commit corporate suicide for some reason. it’s just interesting to me that all this is happening now when in the past we were just kinda like. stuck with whatever we got

[bylerconfessions]

Byler fandom is very toxic, and it really turned me off the ship. So many people think it has to be canon, or that it would be groundbreaking, or that there’s secret clues in the seasons about it (I still don’t get why “when blue meets yellow in the west” is some big byler thing because… neither of them were there for that plot?) And that if you don’t think byler is canon then you are actually a mileven (and they say that like shipping them is a bad thing?). It overall seems very “our way or the highway” and refuses to let people express other theories about the show and byler that don’t have it endgame.

I’ve seen bylers harass people who ship it because they don’t think it will be canon by the end. That’s NOT how fandom or shipping should work! I’ve also seen bylers take over the anti byler tag and then wonder why milevens are mad at them. Or wonder why bylers have so many mean nicknames for mileven when they don’t have any for bylers, as though bylers don’t cry homophobia when someone so much as says “idk I don’t know if byler would work”, let alone being called a stupid name on the internet because of a ship.

The ship was cute, childhood friends to lovers, but the way the fandom treats it as some (potential, not even fully realized) shining beacon of rep when it’s not even groundbreaking. There’s shows that aren’t lgbtq focused with gay teen characters. With gay teen characters who are in love with their bi childhood friends! And date them! There’s other shows out there and idk why it’s imperative for byler to be canon. There’s a lesbian and a bisexual in stranger things who are going to date in s5, there already IS rep resta toon in stranger things. Just because it’s not your fave two boys doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

(asked on march 23)

i do kinda agree, because part of the reason i took a break was because the fandom was too much for me

[catgirlforeskin]

This may border on victimblaming, but most of stories about how someone was "groomed" online that I saw (I didn't research it, mind you, just what crossed my dashboard) read to me as "I am a total dumbass who doesn't have common sense and I am going to blame everyone for this".

Like older* guy on forum who talks about how you being offline makes him want to kill himself is not a good man, and neither are any other kinds of "online groomers", but literally nothing about technology makes them more dangerous.

(*Assuming that he is in fact older, I also was "in my early 30s" online since I was 12, but that's not that important because him living who the fuck knows where makes any actual power imbalance irrelevant, and teenagers are very much capable of being cruel and manipulative).

In fact, online interactions are way safer for kids because they fucking can close the tab and forget about everything that happened. Restrictions on children's access to internet doesn't help them. I am not even going to talk about how abusive families can be - outside of home is also not that safe, and people actually may have power over you. In my high school there were rumours about certain teachers sleeping with certain students. I don't know were they true, but I myself was present when one of our teachers went on a discussion about how it's better for schoolgirls to date college students and graduates to "get better experience". People who live close to you may be very gross and bigoted, in fact there is someone close to you and bigoted. Slightly older people can tell about absolutely awful culture of teen neighborhood groups (idk if there was something like that in USA but that's when people of one urban neighborhood hang out together purely because they live close by).

Mind you, I grew up on my local equivalent of 4chan, and while I don't think that it was good for me, the grossest experiences I had were all IRL. Yes, some of those anons may be totally inhuman, but I didn't have to listen to their bullshit, while IRL I had not only to listen but to politely agree, or the middle aged man with ego of a toddler and the middle aged woman who believes in every conspiracy on Earth and the teenage boy who thinks that he is the protagonist of life will be offended, and I am a good kid so I shouldn't make them sad :(

P.S.: Anecdotally, "normie" online places felt way grosser than imageboards. Part of it may be because it was before Trump ruined online everywhere, part of it that those "normie" online places were not as normal as they liked to pretend, but I think that the correct answer is that 4chan is not some malicious entity that corrupts our world, not even really marginal group - it's just content of middle class cranium without flattering makeup of civility. Still, don't go there

P.P.S.: I focused on school because the discourse was about kids, but like, you realise that adult abuse on workplace and such can be way worse and actually endanger your life in the way online never can, right?

Yeah, definitely, it’s an extension of the “stranger danger” model of abuse instead of the reality where most abuse comes from people you know that have power over you, whether it be in a family, school, or work setting. I was constantly told not to talk to strangers online because they’re dangerous by a family member who was literally abusing me lol.

There is harm that can be done by having unfettered internet access as a kid, but until the astronomically greater harm of kids having no rights in the face of parental dominion is addressed, I don’t think parents having more rights to control their children is a good idea

[small-but-oho]

Hi! I’m running over here to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT POST ABOUT DRAMATIC TENSION IN G/T!!!!

I have been shouting into the void about this with friends of mine for YEARS!!

Where did all the fear and angst in the community go?? Why is it all just rainbows and butterflies now? Having light to balance out the dark is great, don’t get me wrong, but I SOOOO agree with you: the entire basis of g/t is its very significant power imbalance.

If we’re all unwilling to acknowledge that then literally what is even the point of making something g/t in the first place? If it’s just two people hanging out… how is that g/t? Where are the stakes? What do these characters want? What are they fighting for? What makes life hard for them that they want to change?

I say this all the time: bad things NEED to happen in fiction. It’s the ONLY WAY to tell a story. Watch any movie or tv show and you’ll see this at play. We want our fictional heroes to struggle, to be afraid and to fight for something because that creates an actual plot.

I, too, am deeply disillusioned by the lack of actual fear and danger in g/t now. Let’s all be honest and acknowledge that being small next to someone so much bigger would be TERRIFYING and not without significant physical and emotional challenges to overcome.

It’s so frustrating when a small character meets a larger one and within .004 seconds they immediately trust them, with their life literally in a stranger’s hands. It’s doesn’t make any sense and leaves so many opportunities for good story telling on the table.

The struggle to adapt to a new environment, to make yourself heard in the face of invalidation, to discover you matter even though you’re different are all tropes that require some kind of unfair dynamic in order to be explored.

I find that journey to be actually super validating! Navigating a dynamic where you feel less than or not taken seriously or surrounded by danger and finding a way to fight through that? Isn’t that quite literally the textbook definition of empowerment and self actualization?

Okay, I’ve gone on long enough, but I just wanted to reach out because it’s so so so refreshing to see someone else in this community actually addressing this!

You rock! Have a wonderful day and keep exploring your story telling, because I think you’ve absolutely got the right idea!

AAAAAAAAAH THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE!!!

I'm so glad you feel the same way ♥️

I legit wonder why this shift towards safe, nonconfrontational works occurred. Is it in reaction to the general state of the world? An influx in new users, who just aren't into fear and angst? Reaction to internet censorship? Idk.

And tbh it's also kinda disheartening as a dark subjects enjoyer. I do wanna write and create works that cater to my interests, but when you look into the tag, it feels like an uphill battle.

So yeah, if you want to, feel free to send me a msg off anon. Maybe we need to cultivate our own little community of like-minded people.

[myfandomhalf]

TW: EDs, self harm

This is so unrelated to anything I post here but I’ve seen a LOT of BSD users doing this so I will be tagging it with bungo tags in the hopes you people will see it.

Eating disorder / self harm glorification accounts.

I’m honestly so angry that I’m seriously trying to hold back because I’m not trying to insult you personally. All of you that glorify these mental disorders and have accounts dedicated to longing for anorexic bodies and romanticize cutting. You are all in so much need for mental health help. That should go without saying. And this post isn’t about targeting you, I also can’t take a vested interest in the mental health of strangers on the internet, as I have people in my own life that need attention.

I’m not here to preach, you know your behaviors are beyond harmful and you do it anyway.

My only ask, for the love of whatever god it is you believe in, PLEASE make your accounts private. I would seriously get down on my knees and beg you if I could. The fact anyone can stumble on your accounts, young impressionable people with no idea they’re reading the thoughts of someone in severe need of mental help, saddens me so much. Because it becomes a cycle, you encourage others to think and act like you. You clearly don’t care for your own mental health but why would you want to drag others down with you?

This is another big reason why BSD is for adults, bc of the way it handles mental health issues with a blasé attitude and uses comedy. Idk who needs to hear this, but that is NOT how those issues are meant to be handled irl.

A general reminder, eating disorders have the highest fatality rates out of all mental health disorders, especially for girls and women.

I will be reporting any public account I find that glorifies these disorders and self harm. I’ve already reported three, they are still under investigation. I reported them on Twitter, I haven’t seen any here on tumblr but I will report on any platform I find them in. I encourage you all to do the same.

[acespoliticalwaffles]

Finally got a call back from the autism assessment people. And what do you know? They said that insurance wouldn’t cover it so if we want to actually get me in to get tested it’ll be 4,000 US$ out of pocket. My parents said we can’t afford that right now.

This is what we mean when we say diagnosis is a privilege. Because in the US, it literally costs thousands of dollars for them to even look at you. And even if you can afford that, or your insurance will pay for it (most probably won’t), you still have to deal with doctors who have a very narrow view of what autism looks like, both in how it presents itself symptom-wise, and in how the people who have it look physically. If you do not fit the stereotype of Smart, but Socially Awkward White Boy, there is a chance they will reject you outright.

“Diagnosis is a privilege” doesn’t mean that only privileged people get diagnosed, or that your life must have been easy and perfect if you yourself were able to get one. It means that not everyone with certain conditions/disorders/neurodivergencies is able to get diagnosed with them for a variety of reasons that don’t include “they’re faking it”. And that is literally just a fact.

Like, seriously, what do people who think diagnosis isn’t a privilege think getting diagnosed is like? Like, with some disorders it’s much easier. I was diagnosed with depression the first day I saw my first psychiatrist. But most of the disorders they always claim people are faking (autism, adhd, did) are actually very difficult to get diagnosed with just because it takes so long and can often be very expensive. Like, I’ve literally been waiting to get diagnosed for almost half a year. And now they say they won’t even try unless we fork over $4,000. People who are against self-diagnosis are so fucking dense. Like, what do you want me to do? Say I don’t have autism because I couldn’t pay them to check??? Cause only rich people can have autism I guess./s

Knowing that I’m autistic has helped me understand a lot about myself that I didn’t before. It has helped me realize that some of my weak points (not being able to work with vague instructions, being very sensitive to criticism, etc.) have a reason behind them and other people experience them in similar ways. I am autistic. I do not have any doubts about being autistic. And I do not have to prove to strangers on the internet that I am autistic before I get to talk about my experiences with it without being relentlessly scrutinized.

Edit: Been seeing some ppl talk about this phrase in a way I hadn’t before and I want to clarify: getting diagnosed is not always actually good, especially when you’re very young and you don’t get to decide whether you want it or not. What I meant in this post is that access to diagnosis is a privilege. Hope that clears things up if you had questions. This was mainly meant to demonstrate that ppl who are against self-dx need to get their facts straight. I’m not actually here to talk about the privilege aspect very much either (I didn’t realize there was discourse there), but in short: it’s complicated, but it is often a result of some privilege that ppl are able to get diagnosed, especially later in life. I also want to make it clear that it’s very valid to not want a dx. I actually went back and forth on it myself bc of all the fucked up laws and discrimination and stuff. (Which is yet another reason self-dx is valid and sometimes the best option) So yeah. Idk, just wanted to make it clear what I’m trying to say.

[lmaonade]

:/ jamie last time you asked for anons that didn't want clout or to troll you i sent a rly long question abt dqm and dwm and you never replied to it. it made me sad like reaching out goes both ways. was i just boring??? idk

hey i’m sorry, but this is outta my comfort zone. i don’t owe you a reply. i appreciate messages that i get but i am under no obligation to reply to all of them. you shouldn’t take what strangers on the internet do so personally. you are much better off not doin that. it wasn’t anything against you i just don’t get to every message.

[manicpixieginger]

Ta-ta

I’ve had a fun time on this blog, written some fanfiction, met a couple of complete lunatics and even more cool and kind ppl. My cool mutuals know who they are. At the end of the day I’ve definitely moved out of the phase of my life where this blog served me - I’ve moved away from texting odd strangers who’d never truly know me and vice versa through the night in the same way I’d’ve texted an AI bc I was stressed and lonely and using my interests and hyperfixations to dodge reality. The truth is this blog was rlly my outlet of unhealthy coping mechanisms during a shitty period of abt 9 months, starting from the end of August last year until around April or May. I made some truly shitty decisions (for myself, not morally) and kept unhealthy company when my life was in disorder and I was unhappy which just spiralled me more and more into chaos and encouraged the wrong kind of behaviour in me and towards me from the wrong kinds of ppl. In the last few months I’ve finally pulled myself out of it, figured out it doesn’t matter bc that’s not me, that’s not who I am, this internet persona was just disingenuous shells of parts of me I chose to share. I’ve learned a lot of shit and the best way to handle and carry myself. I know now not to give people an inch because they’ll take a mile and feel entitled to me or like they know me better than myself, I know how much to share of myself, and I know that some people just can’t be helped from their own self destructive lonely abyss, but I can help myself. It rlly looks like my life is starting now, I have a solid and stable group of friends, a good relationship and exciting things are happening for me. My self esteem is better, I have things going for me and people who love me and push me forward. I’ve going to completely cleared this blog save for this post, which might stay up a little while. I’m putting it in the past and sometimes that means leaving something as it is, as a time capsule and sometimes that means putting it into near complete nonexistence, leaving it in the past of nothingness where it belongs. The less of it that’s here the less tempted I’ll feel to come back to it and pull myself back into the chronically online abyss I’ve seen swallow up lots of other people. Idk, I made one set of mistakes w one person and came out fine and then proceeded to make them again with another person who turned out to be crazier and lingered and lingered and now I’ve learned my lesson lol. Im just glad I knew better not to give so much access to some of the ppl I spoke to. I’m still very much into my shit, my dumb Brad Pitt movies and my music, but I just have other avenues to express my passion for them now, Taking control of my life kind of means taking control of what of me is accessible to anyone, including this blog. My fanfiction will stay up, and I will continue to post sporadically on a new blog for which I’ve given access to the right people. My fics will stay up but I don’t really have the drive to write them anymore as I’m on to bigger and better. I’m just rlly glad there was a chain of events where I started to come to my senses and see just how chronically online some of the ppl I allowed in my circle were, how unwell and unhappy and in denial they were. I don’t really care if anyone cares, but if anyone’s ever wondering where that chick who wrote the Shosanna gets revenge fic went, she’s gone off to do her own thing.

[fallowtail]

You're so right! Wallowing in pointless, narcissistic self-pity by posting the same exact whining complaints every single day just to get fake attention from online strangers is MUCH better for your mental health. (especially since you just ignore the people here who try to be sympathetic and instead write yet more of the exact same posts about poor wittle you) Seriously, you don't seem like you want to be happier or better---you're too enamored with being a victim. You should be honest with yourself about that. It's hard but the first step to truly getting better.

Man at least be original in what you’re saying and don’t make it look like I’m sending myself anon messages for attention on tumblr dot com, come on. If you’re gonna be shitty about someone being mentally ill on the internet and talking about it on their personal blog and not being able to pull themselves up by their boot straps into perfect mental health just because people on the internet are nice to them (which, as an aside, you say is fake attention from online strangers, but then are also saying that because those same online strangers are nice to me about it that I should be able to use that to magically cure myself, which one is it? If that worked people with loving families wouldn’t kill themselves, man, but guess what: they do! All the time!) can you at least, like, idk, have something interesting or original to say? These are really bold assumptions to make about a stranger, what do you know about my life or how much I’ve fought to “get better”? You think you know me innately because you read vent posts I make while I’m having an episode and think that makes you an expert on me? This is honestly a little pathetic of you to be doing when you can’t even be bold enough to come off of anonymous, lol. Grow a spine man, come on.

[lillyofthevalley66]

Do not look if you don’t want to see a vent

I hate dysphoria…why can’t I just be cis? I hate my voice. I hate my body. I hate that everyone assumes I’m a guy. I just want to be like all the other girls. I’ve tried voice training but my teacher won’t get back to me and I still sound like a guy. I’m on HRT but have noticed literally zero effects so far. I’m going to a new school this year and I’m still gonna look like a guy. Every day I’ll have to say “no actually I go by she/her”. Not even my parents can get my name and pronouns right more than maybe half of the time (and even that is generous). Isn’t being a teenager supposed to be fun??? ‘Best time of your life’ my ass. I’m depressed pretty much everyday. Not to mention I’m constantly one bad day away from developing an 3D. I can’t be fat and trans can I? And my therapist and meds are zero help. My life is crumbling. Actually no, it isn’t bc I never had one to begin with. Screw this. I hate being trans. How can anyone be proud of this? Idk why I’m even posting this. Not like some internet strangers can help. I’m prob gonna delete this later anyway.

[voxasks]

Uh yeah hi

Idk why you're ignoring all my attempts to get in touch, but honestly what the heck???

I never blocked you first of all

Second if I did make a joke it was in good humor and if it was calmly explained that someone didn't like it, I would've apologized.

Instead I was given these

And more.

If I did offend anyone, does this wrong make it right to say such horrid things?

I apologized to this anon over and over, even when they did not elaborate.

This person is someone who has nothing better to do than harass people on the internet.

Get my name off your page

If you don't respond to this I'll know this means you're just ignoring me, and I'll be sure to let everyone know.

( I thought you blocked me because I think all your comments got deleted or is under review by tumblr. I am still trying to find which ask it was because I don’t know what exactly was said, but regardless, given the base knowledge that you made fun of someone who was suicidal, about being suicidal, that on its own horribly wrong because you could have been the reason for someone’s suicide. No one should even have to tell you that they didn’t like it, suicide is a serious topic that shouldn’t be joked about. )

( but those people who sent you those are no better. Please stop sending death threats to people, guys. ‘They deserve it’ isn’t a valid excuse. I am not defending their actions, I repeat, I am not defending their actions. Sending these things to people isn’t right, either. Just block them. )

( I don’t want to be associated with people who can say these things to someone else to a stranger on the internet you don’t know. They’ve done something wrong, yes, but this won’t make them make up for their mistakes or even set the record straight. It’s just tainting your own conscience. )

( as someone who also struggles with being suicidal, I hope you would send a proper apology in asks so I can post it for everyone here—as much as I don’t want my blog to be involved in this, it was already forced to be involved when it happened here. )