#if I dont shower before going to bed Ill die but also it Im even slightly sweaty while Im trying to sleep Ill die so rip hot showers 😔

[princesssmars]

something new pt.II

a monet de haan x reader

the royals of constance billiard have invited you into their ranks, and the princess seems to have a motive.

contains: slighttt angst for kinda shitty parents in the start/middle. mostly fluff and me loving monet. maybe some ooc moments. the writing style changing every section. not really proof read we die like men.

a/n: writing this i realized that the group in ggrb does. not have a name. so corny ass "the royals" it is ! <3 this took me forever but im inspired by gg spotify playlists and pure gay yearning. also what the hell do you call someone with black hair.

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if there's one thing you should have expected from becoming friends with the royals of constance billard, it was how quickly they got stuff done.

on your way home from the charity benefit hall, you opened your phone to see that the six enigmas you had met at the party had all followed you and already added you to a group chat. as soon as you open it you already see audrey tagging you and telling you how you're all meeting up tomorrow to go shopping, apparently. lucky you.

once you arrived at your parents townhouse, maybe one of the only things you found bearble at this point was your new home, for its gorgeous interior and exterior and your spacious room, you rushed inside and up to your room so as to avoid whatever bullshit about your behavior they're going to chastise. after cleaning yourself up and getting ready for bed, you laid down and typed ‘sounds like a plan. see u tmmrw.’

putting your phone on your nighstand to charge, you were left to stare at your ceiling and ponder over what happened tonight and asking why. why did these people gravitate to you so quickly? did they just want another rich kid to add to their posse? you knew people just used each other often in your world of the rich and powerful, but god did it seem unappealing.

as much as you hated to admit it, you wanted real friends. hell, maybe even a girlfriend.

as the thought crossed your mind, a certain brown skinned girl with ombre twists crossed your mind, making you jolt up in bed.

“no…no no no dont do that.” you whisper and smack your cheeks, trying to convince yourself that no, you didnt have a crush on probably the most beautiful girl you've ever seen. that was crazy. pure insanity.

it made no sense. you could tell the kind of person she was, the queen bee, (technically the queen bee's second hand, intriguing), the girl everyone wanted or wanted to be and she knew it.

she also seemed a bit mean, which you were normally into.

but you didnt want to get yourself hurt.

not after what happened last time.

and so you fall asleep, thinking of pretty clothes and fake smiles.

youre rudely awakened by your alarm at around eight am, set the night before so you could get ready for the day ahead. you get up from bed, struggling to not check your notifications and messages on your phone before making your way to your on suite bathroom. in there you do your usual morning routine, rinsing off your body in the shower and doing your facial routine at the sink.

once youre finished, you head over to your closet to pick out an outfit when youre phone starts ringing. you see the caller id is max, and you swipe on the green to answer. "hello? you get up ths early too?"

"nah, but i had a feeling you would be. seem like the early bird type." max's voice drawls through the phone, still deep with the effects of sleep. "are you up at the asscrack of dawn because youre excited or because youre used to it?"

you laugh slightly, flipping through your pants and your skirts. "a bit of both, actually. my parents always made me get up really early so i know i have time to do everything. but the sunrise is also pretty."

max's voice laughs through the phone. "thats a good reason, ill admit. personally i like the sunset better."

"then i guess we've come to an empasse..." your voice trails off, finally finding a suitable outfit for looking nice but also being comfy while you walk around. "im about to get dressed, should i call you back?"

"nope put me on speaker, we've got things to talk about before we go shopping today." he states. youre confused, but put the speaker on anyway, giving him the go ahead to start talking.

"alright, youve probably already guessed this because you seem smart, but we all kinddd of want something from you." his bluntness makes you giggle.

"want something? from me? i sure hope its not my money." you joke, smiling as you hear his playful scoff from the phone.

"trust me, we're covered on that front. it was really julien and monets idea to bring you into the group, which congrats for getting in at the speed of light, by the way. i wasnt expecting any new additions considering weve all been mostly best friends for years."

this was monets idea?, you think to yourself as you finally wiggle into your clothing. there was a bit of a connection last night, but you didnt think it was strong enough for someone as seemingly impassive as her to start indoctrinating you into her friend group.

"what do you mean by mostly? you all seemed close from what i saw." you question.

max sighs through the phone, telling you that you might have guessed wrong. "its...a bit complicated. ill explain more of it later. my dads are calling me for breakfast. by the way, do you want me to pick you up later? i dont mind."

"sure, i want to hear all of the group secrets on the way there, though." you joke, laughing harder when he gives a fake laugh through the phone before saying your goodbyes.

after youve gotten dressed and made sure you had everything, you head downstairs to get a quick morning snack before the drive.

after grabbing your quick bite, youre stopped in your tracks by the sight of your mother in the doorway. she's wearing sportswear and her skin is slightly sweaty, meaning she just came back from her morning run. she eyes the food in your hand and you scoff, brushing past her to the front door.

for the next few minutes you stand in front of your home, scrolling through your socials and lightly listening to music until a honk makes you jerk your head up. in front of the sidewalk sits a very nice white car, with a smiling brunette boy looking straight at you.

"hurry up! i dont wanna hear audrey badger me for being late." he yells, making you match his bright smile. you get comfortable in the front seat, already vibing with the song he has playing from his spotify and the sweet smell of his car.

"do you really use a jelly bean air freshener?"

"i needed one that fit my personality."

"ah, i was wondering why i liked you so much."

throughout the drive to the mall, you get closer and laugh more with max, showing each other your favorite songs and laughing at each others lip syncing. after a few minutes, you finally ask him the question thats been on your mind.

"what did you mean earlier when you said you all...mostly got along?"

he stares straight at the road for a few seconds, the corner of his lips quirking up. "do you still talk to the people youve known since you were little? and i mean really little-preschool age."

you think about it beofre shaking you head. because of your parents frequent moving, you didnt make any solid connections. hopefully that would change soon.

"well youre kinda lucky. it sounds great when youre young to be best friends forever but in high school people...change. it starts slowly at first but it gets more noticable. i mean, when we were kids aki was like the mediator of the group, but now hes more impassive. audrey was the mother hen but now shes more overbearing, the list goes on." he rants, his voice sounding more melancholic as he goes on. "dont get me wrong, i love my friends but...everythings changing."

you nod along as he talks about his worries, giving him someone to vent to and taking in all of the information hes telling you.

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max parks and you both make your way to the entrance, and he laughs at the look on your face when he says next time you should use the subway.

once inside, the rest of your new group of "friends" come up to you both.

"yn! i hope you made it here alright, hopefully max didnt talk your ear off on the way here." aki says, standing in front of you hand in hand with audrey, who smiles at you.

"youre just soo funny, menzies. you really should pursue a career in comedy." max jokes dryly, punching his friend in the arm playfully. as they start a playful arument, audrey takes your hand and pulls you over to where her and julien were standing.

"its so nice to see you again, yn," julien greets you and takes your arm in hers, audrey taking the one on your other side, "todays gonna be so fun, i promise. monet and luna are over in gucci, but i was thinking of heading over to saks..."

"why dont we meet them in gucci? then we can all shop together..." you suggest, your voice trailing off when you catch the look max is giving you in the corner of your eye.

julien smiles, tugging you along.

you get to the store, eyeing the collection of clothing, purses, and shoes. after a few seconds of looking around, your eyes connect with monets from across the store.

luna is next to her, the noirette talking lowly while shes observing a heel in her hand. but monets eyes stay on you, humming along to whatever shes saying-

"i think this would look pretty on you, yn," audreys soft voice yanks you out of your trance, holding up a cropped coat up to your chest, observing it from all angles.

"yeah, you're right. but its still august, isnt it a little too soon for a coat?"

"it'll get cold quick." monets voice pops up from the other side of audrey, startling you a bit. "didnt you live in maine previously? i wouldve thought all they had was lobsters and snow."

"i traveled with my parents in the winter months often, so i didnt feel the cold. but there were some perks of living there. a lot less...trash."

monets eyes widen and audrey barely stifles a laugh at your comment, the former slightly glaring at the two of you. audrey composes herself quickly.

"monet is right, once it hits late september the temperature starts dropping quick. youre buying it." audrey thrusts the piece of clothing in your hand, starting to look for more in the expensive collection.

monet still stands in front of you, smiling at you with an emotion in her eyes you cant quite place. but if you had to guess, it was nothing good for you.

"what do you want from me?" your bluntness shocks her out of her stupor, the girl crossing her hands on her chest.

"why do you think i want something from you?"

"lets not act coy. i just got here and your merry little band is trying to make me feel as if ive been here for years, and i know you have something to do with it."

she continues to smile at you, tapping her manicured finger on her arm. "and just why would i do something like that? i dont even know you."

alright, this was just pissing you off. "look, im not gonna turn into one of your little pawns. so whatever dumb ass game you're playing, leave me out of it."

"oh, yn," she sighs, bringing her hand up smooth her soft hand down your face, "you're already on the board. and trust me, when the time comes for choosing, youll wanna be on our side. now, lets go shopping, hm?"

you open your mouth to rebuttal but she shuts you up with a wave of her hand, moving directly to your left to loop your arms together and continue walking through the store.

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despite some hesitance brought on by your inherent suspicion and monets ominous words, you will admit you had some fun with the group at the mall and going around to see the sights of new york.

but maxs comment from the car rung in your head often, and you noticed how they all had little groups within them. monet and luna mostly stayed to themselves if they weren't getting julien picture perfect for a picture. said julien really only seemed to connect with audrey, talking to obie but his face looked...conflicted?

during your observation your eyes yet again catch on monets, who just gives you a little smile and a wave.

you had a feeling this wouldnt end well for you.

eventually the sun starts to set and conversations start to dull, with julien suggesting you all come to her place and chill and to record some stuff for her instagram. julien calls her drivers to pick you up, but because of the uneven number, someone is going to have to sit by themselv-

"join me in the second car. i wanna talk." monet whispers from behind you, causing a shiver to go down your spine at the sudden nature of it and her closeness. intrigued you oblige, crawling into the back of the suv behind her and settling in.

its quiet for a handful of seconds, only the faint noise of the city and the moving car surrounding you.

"what do your parents do?"

the question throws you off. you would have thought she had done extensive digging on your history.

"theyre in the investing business. they just look to colleges with the most promising alumni and fund their programs. guess they also invest in start up businesses. but frankly i dont care and want nothing to do with it, and im confused at why you're asking me this."

she sighs, as if debating if she wants to speak - or really if she doesnt. she closes her eyes and rubs one of her temples with her fingers before pushing what she wants to say out.

"im asking because i want you on my side. everyone treats me like im just one of juliens dumb followers and that what i do is a joke but its not. i want to actually do something and make a business for myself, thats why i push her so hard. i dont want to join my familys company and i can tell you dont either."

you nod along to her words, not going to ignore her opening up to you. "buttt what do you need me on your side for? are you going to start some kind of war or..."

"i love julien, i really do. we've known each other since before we started teething. but shes changing and becoming this...sentimental wannabe good girl and i know eventually shes gonna leave me and my management in the dust. when it happens i need something to fall back on."

"so what, you do all of this shit for me just to be your back up plan?"

"i did it because i need to trust you. and i need you to trust me." she states, looking you dead in the eyes. you can see the sincerity in her eyes, and you hope its real because if not she was a really good liar. "besides, i know alll about what happened at your last school. you may try to act like some impassive above it, all cool girl attitude, but i know we're a lot more alike than you think."

your heart stops the same time the car does. the sincerity is still there, but nows its sinister. manipulative. and if you were being honest, kinda hot.

"think about what i said. and dont mention this to the others, ok?" monet composes herself, getting out from over you when the door is opened and youre still frozen in place.

you're snapped back into reality when she grabs your hand and helps you out, pressing her shoulder to yours as you walk into the lobby of juliens building. you dont know whether to be scared or excited when she whispers in your ear again.

"it can be our first little secret."

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this. took me forever. and kicked my ass. but season two is here so i rushed. id appreciate any feedback bc ik the plot right now feels messy but hope yall enjoyed anyway <333

[chisatowo]

Girl help the heat of the house has finally pushed me into taking cold showers

[underneaththe-waterfall]

Do you have to go pt2

PART 1

Mature content ahead* SMUT, fluff , light angst at the very end

summary: Jaebum was finally home for a day and his muscles were clearly in pain. You give him an oil message which leads to many other things. Somehow you still end up disappointed in the end.

You woke up feeling steady breathing on your neck and muscular arms holding your waist. You nearly forgot that jaebum had a day off today; It felt good to wake up together after such a while. You yawned and turned around facing jaebum and you noticed how ethereal he looked. His messy black hair rested on his forehead and he had a slight stubble. You loved this look on him. It made him look more like your boyfriend and not the idol that thousands of girls die over.

You laid there for a moment just looking at him so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even realise that jaebum was now wide awake looking back at you with a smirk on his face. ”I know im sexy but  are you really planning to just stare at me the whole day today or...” You both begin laughing as you playfully hit his chest. After a moment jaebum pulls you close again and snuggles close to you, his nose against your back ready to go back to sleep. ”Oh no dont think your going to sleep again its already 12″ you say while moving away from him and removing the covers from both your bodies.

He groans instantly hugging himself “Its so cold can we not just stay in bed today?” You wanted to go on a whole rant about how he was never home and this was probably gonna be the only day for a few weeks you were gonna get together, and that you didn’t wanna waste it all just sleeping. But you knew if you said this it would turn into something much more serious. There was no point arguing with jaebum over something like this especially when you missed spending time with him so much. 

“Im gonna go shower and then you can go when im done and then we can head out somewhere” You wait for a response and all you hear is a mumble from jaebum saying something along the lines of ‘so bossy’ whilst wrapping himself in a blanket again with his eyes closed. You sigh whilst  heading to the bathroom and have a quick shower followed by your skincare routine. You expected to have to come and have to wake up jaebum again but he was sitting and using his phone at the edge of the bed. He got up wordlessly and headed for the bathroom once you had entered the bedroom. You put on one on jaebums loose shirts with shorts and headed downstairs to make some breakfast. 

After a while when you headed back upstairs to call jaebum for breakfast you saw him sitting on the bed holding his shoulder with a frown on his face. It was clear that he was in pain but he never liked to admit it in front of you. You walk towards him and as soon as he realises that your coming he lets go of his shoulder and heads for the wardrobe only in his towel. ”Wait, dont get dressed yet” you say while reaching for something in the drawer. “Why? do you want me to seduce you?” he says with a sexy expression followed by a laugh from the both of you .Now holding a bottle of message oil, you ushered him towards the bed. ”I’m gonna give you a message” his expression falls when he realises you saw him earlier sulking on the bed. 

“No its fine its gonna go back to normal soon anyways” he says whilst adjusting his towel which was about to drop. “Shush lay down on your stomach on the bed right now” you say while pouting and crossing his arms. He coos while looking at you and steps closer to you pressing a gentle kiss on your pouting lips. ”Okay okay you can give me a message” he says while laying down on the bed the towel still covering his lower half. You take a seat at the bottom of his back where you could see the two dimples. You apply the oil to your hands before messaging jaebums shoulders with as such strength as you could get. You went to his back after his shoulder and you felt satisfied hearing his groans. You seat yourself on his thighs messaging his lower back and eventually you were done with his back. 

“Okay turn around now” you say while getting up from his legs. He turns around and his towel lightly slips and you could see his dick , and for some reason he was half hard. A light blush covered your cheeks as you fixed the towel so it was covering him properly. When you looked up at jaebum ,he was smiling and he had a weird look in his eyes you couldn’t really understand .”So are you not gonna give me a message anymore because you saw-”.You cut him off straight away by taking a seat on his lower stomach and putting more message oil on your hands and this clearly shut him up You made sure not to make any eye contact with him as you rubbed your hands together and then began messaging his shoulders. Jaebum tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut biting his lips to prevent any sound coming out.

He had been tired and his muscles had been aching for a while now so when you gave him a message it felt too good. You continued to focus on the task at hand and before you realised it you were sitting directly on top of jaebums dick which was merely covered by the towel. You continued messaging him until you heard a really loud moan followed by “you’ve messaged me enough”, He quickly gets you of him and switches your positions so he was now straddling you. By now his towel was nowhere to be seen and he was exposed in front on you. You gulp while looking up at jaebum and you can see hunger in his eyes. He leans down and kisses you and his tongue enters your mouth straight away. He continues to kiss you and you push him away as you run out of breath.  

He looks at you also completely out of breath and straight away reaches for the hem of his shirt that you were wearing. You put your arms up so he could remove the shirt and his eyes fall straight away to your breasts. You had not worn a bra since you were at home and now you were glad you didn’t. He pushes you back down so your back touches the bed and begins to kiss down your neck. He continues to kiss down until he reaches to your breast. He fondles one of your breast with one hand while he marks the other. You let out a moan and you could feel that you were becoming restless. ”I cant wait any longer” you say completely blissed out looking at jaebum with hooded eyes. 

“Then ride me” 

He lays down and waits till you remove your shorts and panties and straddle him. His hands immediately reach to your hips squeezes them as you lean down to kiss him. He could feel your wet heat on his dick and the fast heart beat of your clit. It was driving him crazy. He pulled away from the kiss and tapped your thighs motioning for you to lift them up a bit. You held onto his shoulders and closed your eyes as he aligned his dick with your entrance. After a second you slipped down on his cock letting out incoherent sounds and jaebum tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut in relief.

It had been such a while since you had been intimate with jaebum and at this point you were both very needy. You stayed seated on him as he waited for you to adjust. It was definitely not the first time you and jaebum were having sex but since it had been a while it took you some time to adjust to his size. You felt jaebum move underneath you so you opened your eyes. You could see his hooded eyes and the way he was biting his lips and it was making you feel even needier then you felt before. You began to move and each time you moved you could feel jaebums dick drag against your walls. It felt heavenly. You slowed down your pace now getting tired and as soon as jaebum noticed this he began to thrust up into your heat. You leaned your head on his shoulder as he kept moving himself in and out of you as fast as he could.

”Im gonna-” you couldnt finish your sentence because of the knot you were feeling at the bottom of your stomach .He didn’t respond to what you said but instead moved his hand down to your clit to help your release. You let out even louder moans at the feeling of his fingers circling around your clit fast and mercilessly. And before you knew it you were coming with a loud moan followed by jaebums name. You were so blissed out that you didnt even realise jaebum had pulled out and you were now laying with your back on the bed. He inserted his cock back inside you and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he pounded into you harder and faster. You felt so sensitive after just coming but you wanted jaebum to finish to. You opened your eyes to see the look on his face he always had before he was about to cum.

You watched as he sped up hitting even deeper spots inside you as he grunted. With a last powerful thrust that nearly made you scream he came inside you. You could feel his warm juices fill you up and you groaned at the feeling. He laid down and pulled you on top on him his now half softened dick still inside you. You both stayed there wordlessly for a few moments in bliss. Just as you were laying there you heard jaebums phone ring. You both just ignored it pretending you couldn’t hear it because you both were so sleepy. After it rang the second time jaebum pulled out and you let out a small groan at the feeling of all his cum seeping out of you. He picked up his phone and it was his manager. “You guys have an interview today in like 30 minutes and all the other boys are here. i dont know why your still not here i messaged you early in the morning.” Jaebum didnt make any eye contact with you as his manager spoke. He answered back calmly “Ill be there in 20 ill get dressed from home no need to get an outfit for me” 

After that you blanked out not really hearing the rest of the conversation. You watched jaebum as he cut the phone and looked at you. You were sat on the bed completely naked and your body was littered with love bites. You had tears in your eyes which you were not aware about and to jaebum you looked like a lost puppy. He came closer to you kissing you on the lips quickly and putting the covers up so your body was covered.”Im so sorry i have to go now i promise ill be home soon.” You hummed with a small smile and that clearly reassured him that you were not upset as he straight away headed to the shower. You sat there alone in bed lost in your own thoughts and in less then 5 minutes jaebum was out the shower and getting dressed. 

You watched him as you sat feeling like shit. You still had his cum dripping down your thighs and onto the bedsheets. Your body was covered in marks and your hair was a mess. With a final goodbye jaebum was out the door and you were completely alone. Again. You knew jaebum wasn’t gonna be home soon. You were right.

 Before you knew it you both were in the same routine where you would barely see each other. It was starting to take a toll on you and for the first time in your relationship you felt like a decision had to be made. You couldn’t live like this any longer. 

MASTERLIST

Okay but IM SO SORRY IF THE SMUT WAS BAD. It was a struggle to write.

SORRY FOR ERRORS BYEEE.

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[honeypirate]

bestie bestie bakugou

Bakugou and fem!reader, best friends, roommates, loveeee

Warning - swears, mentions of sex

You were walking around the city for hours now, you left the apartment just before sundown and now it’s raining and you think you see the light from the sun turning the clouds lighter on the horizon. You came home after a long day of work, of fighting a villain, of almost not making it back this time, to find your boyfriend, who you didnt even live with mind you, fucking someone else on your bed. You didn’t say anything, you just walked out, quietly, he didn’t even notice. 

The buzzing in your hand caught your attention, making you aware of the heaviness of something in your palm, you raise it to see and then remember it’s your phone. The action causes it to wake up, showing your notifications, 50 missed calls from him and almost as many texts and double the amount of calls and texts from your two best friends

The screen catches the water from the rain as it flows down the surface, you try to unlock your phone, a sudden urge to not be alone hitting you, but your thumb was too cold and wet to unlock with the fingerprint. You go to press in the buttons but the screen doesnt recognize your fingers either, you’re starting to panic, to hyperventilate when the screen lights up, you relax seeing the name pop up and try to answer but you were shaking so much, you brought the phone to your lips, sticking your tongue out to click the green button. 

“Fucking bastard is going to die” he says as he wraps you in a towel, pulling you to his chest, “y/n im so sorry. You’re staying here with me for now on, i’ll go to your place tomorrow and get some of your things and get your key back from that fucker.” he was pissed, fuming, you haven't seen him this mad since high school “Katsuki i couldn't possibly put you out” he holds his finger to your lips “shut up, im insisting, plus this place is too big for just me” you chuckle through the shivers that are now finding your body, your skin and bones finally reacting to the cold as your body shakes uncontrollably. “T-t-thank you K-Kacchan” he sighs and takes your hand, pulling you with him down the hall to the bathroom. 

After a really nice shower, you exit his big ass fancy shower that was really more like a spaceship, you had to use a step stool to get inside it. It had multiple different heads, a steam option, and could even convert into a jacuzzi, if only you didn’t feel like a bath was too close to being a ‘you’ flavored soup. 

You find a change of clothes for you waiting on his bed, a pair of his sweats and one of his shirts, you brought them to your nose, taking a deep breath. They smelled like downey, the yellow kind your parents used to use, it smelt comforting. You slip on his clothes and feel like you’re getting a hug from him. 

When you make it back to the kitchen you have the shivers again, your wet hair making your back wet. He takes one look at you, arms hugged around your body, and he throws you over his shoulder and takes you right back to his room. He sets you down on the bed and then takes a hold of his hood and pulls his hoodie off, shoving it down over your head. “I’m making you some tea and then you are going to talk to me more if you feel like it okay?” you nod with a small smile as you pop your arms through the sleeves. 

Its been six months, Bakugou has helped you heal through your pain, he got you some things from your apartment and got your key back. He also officially, and with pleasure, told your ex to fuck off, that it was over and to never contact you again, with too many threats to count. He really enjoyed it and wanted to do it for a long time but he’d never tell you that. You cut your ex out of your life, easily letting him go because if you caught him cheating once who knows how long he did it, you were 100% okay with never seeing him again, the hard part was waiting for the feelings to go away, to rid yourself of the habit that was your ex. 

You tried to go back to your apartment after a few weeks, it was fine for the most part, you found a completely new bed in your room courtesy of Bakugou and although he denies it wholeheartedly you know no one else would have done that,... but after a few days you called Bakugou, telling him that it just felt empty and that it didn’t feel like your home anymore, he invited you to move in immediately and you never looked back. 

Your new bed and all the furniture you didn't sell sit proudly in the spacious spare bedroom at Bakugous apartment. He was right, this apartment was way too big for one person.

Bakugou had girls over periodically and you didn’t mind them at first, you even made them breakfast sometimes, on the off chance Bakugou slept late and didn’t kick them out immediately. He’s never liked the morning after, the girls he has dated were just to fill the hole in his soul made by the feelings he has developed for you. He’s trying to find one that makes him feel as electric as you make him feel. 

After a month of random girls you start to notice yourself resenting the girls you hear him with, the way they fake moan in the bedroom, loudly just so you will hear and then they will give you evil stares as they walk out in the morning. You asked Yao-Momo for some advice once, calling her after you hear another loud girl as you went to the kitchen for some ice cream, losing your appetite you left the ice cream on the counter and just left the kitchen (just eyerolling when he tried to give you shit about it) . “just ask him to stop” you sigh “I cant do that. I dont want to cause him any trouble. I just dont know why he has to go for girls like that” you fake throw up and she laughs “y/n do you think you like bakugou?” she asks and you gasp “of course not! He’s my best friend! And hes bakugou! I couldnt possibly…” you pause for a while as you think, were you really discovering feelings for the blasty explosion boy? This was such a rub. She just laughs at you from over the phone “unclench your jaw y/n. Dont be so tense” you realize shes right as you release your teeth, relaxing your face and jaw “you know me so well” you say with a laugh “of course i do. I’m your real best friend. Not some ill tempered boy. If you like him great, tell him and he’ll stop fucking randoms or if you dont like him tell him to stop fucking randoms so loud” you laugh “so wise Yao-momo, me lovely sensei Yao-Momo” she laughs at you before you guys have to hang up, both having work in the morning. 

After the next few days you realized just how in love you were with him, getting more and more annoyed with the girls he brought home, not even noticing that they were showing up less and less, pretty soon the random girls have stopped coming over all together, not that you knew that, you still heard what seemed to be sex noises from his room every once in a while, you just assumed he kicked them out right after, not that he was thinking about you and … you know wink wink  

Another six months later  you’re with him on a mission, the villains just keep coming wave after wave, a quirk controlling their (dead before you even came around) bodies, it was never ending, if you stopped fighting they would kill you and you didn’t know who the villain was or where they were. You had your agencies looking for them and until then you had to fight, to keep these bodies occupied so they didn't bring chaos anywhere else. You didn’t talk during the fighting but you both were paying more attention to making sure that the other was fine that you ended up just fighting the villains going after each other. When you get home, battered, bruised, and covered in sweat and blood and many tears, you each take turns showering in his amazing shower, you couldn't use a normal shower for your sore muscles. 

You made a meal for you both quietly as he showered, too tired to speak or do more than was required, when he came to find you he almost cried with relief at your home cooked meal, he was starving. You ate together in silence, both reflecting on the battle, both reliving every moment where you almost lost the other, where you almost lost the fight, feeling more and more anxious the more you thought about it. What would you have done without him? You didnt want to lose him and regret never telling him, but you know you are way to exhausted to speak. 

You stare at each other in the hallway, both wanting to say something, to not leave each other yet. You turn to go and he grabs your hand, pulling you with him into his room before climbing in bed and pulling you along with him down into his soft comfortable bed, he pulls you to his chest and you feel all your stress and anxiety leave your body. He kisses the back of your head “I love you” he whispers into your hair, the only energy he has left. You turn in his arms to look at him and see his eyes blink slowly, he can hardly hold them open anymore. You smile softly “I love you” you whisper back and he sighs, a happy smile on his lips as he lets his eyes close “good” he says and you chuckle, your eyes closing as you lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before allowing yourself to fall asleep, the feeling of his arm around you and the sound of his soft breaths comforting you.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Definitely not like father

summary: Reader is sent up to the maze, but is jansons daughter. After seeing she survived he has a moment with her as she has no idea who this man is.

a/n: here is this one as well, might be the last one for tonight, there are more, ill post more tomorrow. hope you like this one! also It might have some misspelling I think.

Ever since I got into the glade I dreamed of when we would get out. I didn't think people had to die to get out of here. All of our friends were dead or alive coming to the brighter side. As we all got onto the helicopter to some other destination with these other men, they felt very familiar. As we were high in the sky we saw the terrible man made glade along with the maze. Seeing the glade like this, was disgusting. I sat down and wondered who these people were who sent us here. Newt sits next to me as we fall asleep. I feel safe next to him. He knows that. Ever since I got there he was a person I trusted, I told him everything, he listened and was there for me and continues to be there for me.

As I woke up, I heard Newt call me and I quickly got up and held his hand as we entered this other building. I hear screeching but they dont look like grievers, they are humans.

“What the hell?” I said as I looked closer to what these humans were, but Newt grabbed me quickly and all I could do was remember those human faces. Once we got inside there were these other people working and doing stuff with machines.

“You kids alright?” a voice said, an older man, older than us. “Sorry about all the fuss. Seems like we caught ourselves into a swarm.” he said as he seems weirdly familiar. “Who are you?” I asked as he just looked at me. I have no idea why he looked at me the way he did, but it felt okay in a way. “y/n..w-what..you survived.” he said as he hugged me and I have no idea what to do. I stood there as I felt tears coming out of his eyes. I turned around to Newt and Thomas, in a confused state, not knowing what was going on. “Im sorry, i don't know who you are...c-can you please let go?” i said as he did and wiped the tears out of his eyes. “Right sorry, um well you all can follow me, i'll show you around and let you all get clean up.” he said as we followed and i just stood next to newt’s side the whole time not wanting to get in another hugging situation.

Teresa and i were both taken to the girls showers since you know, we can't really enter a guy shower. As we were getting dressed Teresa spoke. “Why did that man hug you? Do you remember him at all?” she said as i shook my head and put pants on. “I don't know why he hugged me..h-he seems familiar but i don't know who he is.'' I said as she nodded. “Yeah he weirdly seems familiar to me as well.” she said as I chuckled. “Imagine we're related or something.” I said as she smiled. “Wouldn't be so bad, i would like you as a sister.”she said as we walked out into another room which led us into a smaller room, but this time we were separated.

I sat there again confused and had no idea what was going on. This whole place has a weird feeling to it. To me anyway, and the guy who hugged me gave me that same feeling. Just then doors were open and he came in, but he was looking at the ground. “I'm sure you're confused as I am, you have no memory of me, so I'll just tell you” he said as he exhaled. “I'm your father...i don't know how you ended up in that place you were in, but trust me..you're safe here.” he said as i shook my head. “Something tells me that this place isn't so safe. If you are even my father i don't remember you..if anything you probably sent me there, to the glade.'' I said as he nodded.

“Okay then..i just want to know whose side are you on?” he asked as I got up. “Definitely not with the people who sent me there.” i said as i was taken to a cafeteria, where more kids were sent here for some reason. As I looked for my friends, Minho walked up to me. “y/n come on, you got to listen, it wasn't just us, there were other glades.” he said as I furrowed my eyebrows and followed him. This guy was telling us about his glade and that the same guys who got us got them out of there and that the other people there were still in wicked hands. I sat there still thinking about what janson said, how he was my father. “Hey you alright? You've been pretty quiet love.” newt asked as i was brought back into reality. “Oh..um nothing, just is it me or does this place feel weird?” i asked as she furrowed his eyebrows. “Well i don't know, but now that you mention it thomas said the same thing.” he said as i nodded and he held my hand giving me a sincere look and i smiled. Now that I remember some things I knew he was my father, but I just don't know why he's here. Since most gladers don't even remember or even meet their parents. Just then i heard his voice again and he was calling out names, those names were apparently going to some safe haven. Just then Teresa was walking down the hall by some men. Thomas got up and asked the guard what was wrong, but they told him lies. “Who's that guy?” i asked newt as he looked over at him. “That's Aris, apparently he's been here for a while and was in a glade with a bunch of girls.” he said as I looked at him. “I'm gonna go talk to him.” I said as Newt nodded. I then sat next to him, he seemed like someone with answers.

“Hey, you're aris right?” I asked as he nodded. “Yeah and you're jansons daughter.” he said as I nodded. “This place, it isn't what they say it is right?” i said as he sat up straight and he seemed interested in what i have to say. “This place is a bad place, i think you know it is too.” I said as he nodded. “Wait, so you're not on your father's side?” he asked as I shook my head. “No if he did this to me, to my friends, i'm not on his side.'' I said as he nodded. “Well, i'm gonna go through the vents tonight, i'll pick you up and your friend with the brown hair. He also seems like this place is nuts.” he said as I nodded and walked towards my table. “What was that about?” Thomas asked. “Well it looks like this place isn't what it seems.” I said as he nodded, and I told him everything was said and everything happened since I got here.

Once they announced bed time i was taken to my own room since i wasn't allowed to sleep with the guys. I had to say goodbye to most of them, they allowed me and newt to have a private goodbye in another room. “Wish you could stay with me, but with these shanks we wouldn't get sleep.'' Newt said as I chuckled. “Yeah, especially minho.” I said as we hugged for a while. I know it was for the night, but it felt like it was gonna be for a while. Before he had to leave I had to tell him what was going on. “Before you leave, I have to tell you something.” I said as he nodded. “Janson is my dad, and this place feels like it isn't what it seems, it's a part of wickedness and I can feel it, I'm gonna check something out with Thomas tonight.” i said as he shook his head. “y/n no, i don't want you to get hurt, i can't lose you alright,” he said as I grabbed his face. “Newt, i'll be fine, you won't lose me, if i'm right, were gonna get out of here.'' I said as he nodded. “Okay just be safe,” he said as we said one last goodbye and he left with the others. As I heard they locked my door I went into my bunk. Once I heard aris, I got out of bed and quickly went into the vent. Thomas was with him and we both followed aris.

We arrived at another vent door. There were these doctors, who were taking bodies to another room. We counted and it was about 8 bodies, which is the same amount that were called today. “Okay so what does this mean?” I asked Aris as he shrugged his shoulders. “Well for one it could mean that there is no safe haven and that we are all being played.” he said as I nodded. “Okay well, what's our plan to check the inside of that place. There are no other vents going through there.” Thomas said as I nodded. “Okay I have a plan, but we have to wait until tomorrow.” i said as they both nodded and we headed back to our bunks. I figured the plan was gonna work, since i can get a chance to talk to janson again.

I woke up to someone unlocking my door and i got up making sure that the vent door was on, which it was, so i just laid down on the bed as janson walked in. “hey, um i was hoping we could talk.” he said as i nodded. I followed him and i was going through the same hall teresa was going through. I saw thomas and i nodded telling him to initiate the plan. All he had to do was get a key from one of the guards, and i was supposed to get janson to talk and show me past the door. We then arrived to the place we we talked when i first got here. “So, i'm assuming you have questions.” he said as i nodded. “I do, what is this place exactly.” i said as he exhaled. “Well, it's wicked, still us, those bodies from yesterday, arent going to a safe haven..” he said as i nodded. “Where are they going then?” i asked as he glanced at me. “We are keeping them in this lab of sorts, to test the flare on them.” he said as i got the chills. He looked at me in a fatherly way. “I'm not gonna let them touch you, alright, you can hide here as long as you want.” he said as i furrowed my eyebrows. “What about my friends.” i said as he scoffed. “I can't help them.” he said as i just sat there. “I need you here, to help me,” he said as i shook my head. “...please, i can't help you, after the hell you put me though, i can't help you and your people.” i said as he shook his head. “I didn't put you there! I didn't even know they took you from me. After 17 years i looked for you-” he said as i cut him off. “17 years...really? That's nothing, i was there for 3 years and i didn't even knew you existed until yesterday...you aren't my father, my father wouldn't let me be in such a terrible place.” i said as a guard came in. “boss there some of the kids are acting up.” he said as janson looked over. “Damn it...alright i'll be there.” i said as i got up and he stopped me. “I trust that you won't tell anyone about his conversation.” he said as i nodded. I then followed him out and saw thomas fired up. “Thomas! Calm down, i thought we could trust each other.” janson said as i looked over at newt. “You know we're all on the same team here.” he said as Thomas scoffed. “Are we?” he said I was pushed over to them. “Get them to their bunks!” he said as they brought all of us in the room including me.

“Well that worked, now we have to see what's behind that door.” thomas said as newt spoke up. “No you're not going to see, thomas you're not even sure if it's true. You saw bodies it doesn't mean anything.” he said as thomas exhaled. “Look, if i'm wrong than we live are lives here, but if im right we can get the hell out of here.” he said as aris came in. “you got it right?” he said as he showed him the card. “Look im gonna figure it out. Just cover for me. I'll be back as soon as possible.” he said as he went out and we sat here waiting. “Hes right you know.” i said to newt. “Well how do you know that?” he asked as i looked at him. “Janson told me, this is wicked, it's still them, they're just looking for more information.” i said as he nodded. “Well, at least i know its not thomas being paranoid,” he said as i chuckled.

After about 10 minutes or so, thomas came in grabbing the bunk and a blanket. “Thomas!” minho said as he was scrambling, “We gotta go.” he said as he put up the bed. “Aris what happened!” i asked as he stood there in shock. “We gotta get out of here!” he said as i spoke up. “Its wicked isn't it.” i said as he turned around and nodded. “Okay what else is there, come on talk to us.” newt said as he turned around. “Ava paige is alive. She never died.” he said as we all nodded and got out of the vent into the hall. We all walked out and finding they way we entered to get in here. Winston and aries went to go do something. Once we got to the end of the hall dr crawford was standing there. “What are you guys doing out?” she asked as a blaring sound turned on. “She's teresa’s doctor.” i said as thomas got his gun and made her take us to her. As we ran down the halls we got to teresa's room. Thomas went to wake her up while the rest of us tied up the other doctors.”uh guys what do we do?” frypan said. “Fyr move!” newt said as he pushed a table over to the door.  Thomas than broke a glass window and we all quickly made it out. We all then found the door that was our exit, thomas tried opening it with the key, but it wasn't working. “No! Come on!” he said as janson spoke. “Thomas!” he said. “Janson open this door!” he said as he scoffed. “Listen to me, i'm only trying to save your life. The maze was on thing, but you guys won't last one day out there. Believe me i only want what's best for you.” he said as thomas shook his head. “Let me guess wicked is good?” he said. “ you're not getting through that door thomas.” he said as the door opened. I stood there i really wanted to get to know him, but after everything i just can't. “y/n. Come convince them that this is a good place. Please, you have to stay.” he said. “Come on y/n don't listen to him,” newt said as i looked at him. “ i know you're my dad, but i can't...as much as it hurts to leave you i can't” i said as i walked out on the other side and they came running but i broke the door making it shut completely. We then opened the big door and got out running to a broken building away from this terrible mess janson would call home.

[nctloveclub]

do me a solid

pairing: mark lee x reader

prompt: in which you ask mark to be your fake boyfriend to get your mom off your back, not knowing that mark is utterly in love with you | slight slice of life au & fake dating au

genre: fluff

words: 1.78k yeet

a/n: i decided to write this as bulletpoints rather than paragraphs lmao. also this may be an overused cliche but i love me some fake dating aus owo also not proofread so ignore mistakes ;-;

so,,,,, you and mark are best friends obviously but its funny because you guys met only a couple years ago???

the two of you just clicked and it was like you guys were soulmates

so you and mark had long graduated and decided to move in together !!

your dynamic is so domestic and pure, the two of you are so chill but also so caring towards each other

you have a bad day? you bet your ass mark is there with cuddles and food, asking you if you wanna talk about it

mark feeling stressed? you take him out to get his mind off things, whether it be eating food until you both pass out or just taking a walk and talking about life

regardless of the situation, the two of you always have each other backs and your relationship is so supportive

so when you get a call from your mom asking about your life specifically love life you panic

your mom mentions that she wants to visit and see you !!! her favorite child !!! so when she asks if you have a s/o

you just blurt out that you're dating mark with mark sitting like two feet away from you

you see mark's confused face before walking to your room to finish the conversation with your mom

you dont see but mark's face starts to heat up and hes smiling

hearing you say that you were dating him made his heart go nyooom

but it wasn't under the best circumstances

mark is a blushing mess and is hopelessly in love with his oblivious best friend

mark is interrupted from his thoughts when he sees you coming back into the living room pouting

he rushes up and engulfs you into a hug, "you alright?"

you shake your head no and just mumble "nosy mom problems"

"so is that why you said you were dating me?" mark asks, his heart breaking a bit

you quickly pull away from mark

"yeah, sorry about that." but mark shakes his head saying "it's fine."

"mom is coming to visit and she keeps nagging me about getting a s/o and im just trying to adult !"

mark laughs at your whining and you just playfully punch his shoulder

"mark do me a solid and play along,,,, please,,, im begging you,,, my bestest friend,,,,, the light of my life"

mark laughs at you and nods his head "of course i'll help you,,, what are best friends for?"

you just squeal and then quick peck his cheeks and you laugh at a blushing mark

"but you do owe me a solid." he says and you scoff

"fine i guess."

starting that day the two of you had started talking about how to play off the relationship

you started holding hands more and showing even more affection than you usually do

the two of you have like one brain cell combined so you came up with the story that you just realized that you liked mark in a more than friends way

as you and mark act like a couple mark can't help but just fall for you more

he's happy that he can finally shower you with the love you deserve but he knows that it isn't real

that its only to convince your mom that youre not gonna die alone

mark tries not to dwell on that fact and just tries to make the best of a fake relationship

so when your mom comes to visit for the weekend, you and mark are prepared

the both of you decided that your mom would stay in your room and you would sleep on the couch,,, unbeknownst to your mom

she comes in all excited and she goes to hug you and mark !

when mark takes her bag to your room, your mom brings you aside

"i always knew you and mark would eventually get together, the two of you are so perfect together."

youre kinda shocked at her words but you try not to show it

"how long have you been dating?" she asks and you answer "a couple months"

mark comes back and he sees you blushing like crazy

"your bag is in y/n's room, second door on the left" mark speaks

your mom smiles at him and makes her way to your room

"what happened while i gone?" he asks smirking

you just shake your head ,, "nothing much, just my mom being happy that im in a relationship"

mark just nods at your answer

you, mark, and your mom spend the rest of day together. taking her out to eat and such

night falls and your mom is asleep in your room

you and mark are sitting in the living room watching a movie

your mind was racing, thinking about what your mom said earlier that day

it was weird ,,, what does she mean that she knew the two of you would eventually get together ???

did you and mark act like an actual couple ??? yes

did you really have feelings for mark?

it was weird ,,, the thought of dating mark didn't appall you ,,, it actually made your heart race

the two of you didn't notice but you were holding hands under the blanket, your head leaning on his shoulder

the movie ended and when mark gets up to go to bed you notice the lack of warmth

he moves to kiss your forehead before telling you "goodnight" and going to his room

the both of you feel your heart race and you blush at mark's actions

mark is leaning against his closed door , his hand on his racing heart thinking "oh my gOD i JUST DID THAT"

you cant sleep

the couch was albeit comfy but your thoughts are keeping you awake

the thought of you and mark dating didn't digust you and that scared you

maybe you did have feelings for mark

you get up from the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and you make your way to mark's room

you knock and hear a muffled "come in" before walking in and closing the door behind you

"can't sleep?" he asks first and you nod

mark opens his arms and you plop on the bed next to him

his arms immediately wrap around you and you lay your head against his chest

you feel warm immediately and you can feel yourself start to drift off

"good night y/n." he mumbles

"night mark." you mumble sleepily

you wake up the next morning with your limbs entangled with mark's

you look up and see mark still asleep and you cant help but notice how cute he looks

you press soft kisses on his cheeks

you see mark scrunch his nose before waking up slowly

"what a nice way to wake up." he says, his voice deeper than usual

"shut up, let's make some breakfast." you say, pecking his lips before making your way to the kitchen

you start making breakfast, and mark joins you briefly

you make fun of mark when he makes eggs and he just pouts at you whining to leave him alone

you place the three plates on the dinner table and you soon see your mom enter the living room

"ooh breakfast looks good." she says sitting down at the table

the three of you eat and joke around, your mom telling you that she's gonna leave in the afternoon

when the three of you finish eating mark takes the plates and goes to the sink to do dishes

you go to the bathroom and get ready for the day while your mom goes to talk to mark

mark is washing the plates and silverware while your mom rinses the plates and places them on the drying rack

"you know mark i like you, you make my daughter really happy, but if you do break her heart i will get you." she says, scaring mark a bit

but mark shakes his head,, "i love your daughter too much to break her heart." he says honestly

your mom smiles at his words

when you come back, your mom leaves to get ready and you go hug mark from behind

"what did she do? did she threaten you? oh my god im sorry mark" you whine

mark laughs before turning around and wrapping his arms around your waist

"it's fine y/n,, it was kinda scary but it's fine." he says, kissing your forehead

you smile at his words, letting out a breath of relief

a small silence falls between you, your eyes glancing from his eyes to his lips and his the same

the two of you slowly start to move, mark's lips hovering over yours

a loud sound interrupts the moment, the two of you separating instantly

mark quickly breaks the silence, "im gonna go brush my teeth" he says, his voice cracking at the end

you laugh at his flustered state and go to help your mom get ready to leave

your mom leaves in an hour or two, cutting her visit short

"youre leaving so early" you say, before bringing your mom into a hug

"ah it's fine, i have to get home anyway. ill leave you two alone." she says, making your's and mark's cheeks blushing furiously

"mom" you whine, covering your face with your hands

she shakes her head before bringing mark into a hug

"please take care of her" she says , quiet enough only for mark to hear

"of course"

she pulls away and gives the two of you a smile before making her way out

when the door closes the two of you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding

"im sorry about that mark, shes so blunt." you laugh

mark shakes his head , "nah it's fine,, she's fun to be around,,"

an awkward silence fills the room, the inevitable question in your mind , what happens now?

you break the silence first, "thank you mark , for doing this for me ,,,, i appreciate it so much,,, i dont know how ill make it up to you.."

mark takes your hands in his ,, "this was a pretty big solid y/n ,," he teases

you just groan ,,, "oh my god dont make me clean up after you for a week" you whine

mark just shakes his head,, "i have a different idea in mind,,,"

you just stand there like ,,,, what ,,, is it ,,,,

mark just gives you a cute ass smile "do me a solid and go on a date with me."

you say yes

i hope this wasnt bad feedback is appreciated hehe ^^

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[normal-thoughts-official]

*breakdances softly* Thoughts on florist Magnus and tattoo artist Alec?

*waltzes aggressively* well i definitely do now

okay so like i am vaguely aware that you probably wanted me to actually create a story like i did for the other asks;

because listen, florist Magnus???????? i had never thought about it before, but that shit is THE BOMB

in indonesia, particularly Bali, flowers hold special significance both in the social and religious sense; they have meaning, they have history, and they have everyday uses and are a part of everyday life; people grow flowers at home, give them as gifts, have entire markets entirely dedicated to the trade of flowers. and yes, i know magnus is javanese, but this applies to pretty much all of Indonesia, including Java, and Jakarta has its own traditional flower market with flowers from all over the world and some of the sellers being in the business since the 60s, not to mention that many balinese ppl immigrated to Java and the two islands' histories are deeply connected. so nothing is even stopping me from believing that magnus' mom was a balinese migrant living in Java. which is exactly what im gonna do in this specific AU at least

So Magnus was actually born in Indonesia, where he lived for most of his childhood; until his mom suddenly died of a terrible disease and he was kind of thrown into living with his father, who, despite having him registered and being his legal guardian, had never so much as bothered to meet Magnus before this point

His father was also Indonesian but had long since moved to the US, so magnus' life was completely turned upside down. And despite providing financially for everything Magnus needed, asmodeus never really bothered with him beyond the basics; Magnus was pretty much self-raised

So for the whole time he lived with him, he ached with memories of his mom and his country. And what he remembered best about her was the flowers. The jasmines she used to grow at home, the unique smell they left on the water she used to wash his hair; the offerings of frangipani she would leave by their doorstep everyday, intricately sewn together and leaving the smell of both the flowers and the incense with them as they left to the ports; the flower boards she would give him on his birthday, different patterns every year, and somehow she would always find plywood and tahi cotok to make them the traditional way instead of the modern with styrofoam

Magnus refuses to let any of these traditions die; once he finally graduates and leaves his father's home (forever disappointing him in his refusal to take over his business) he dedicates almost all of the space in his home to a greenhouse where he can grow all of the indigenous indonesian flower species without worrying that they will die in the distinctly not-tropical climate of New York; he leaves offerings in his doorstep everyday, facing North for Vishnu, so as to bring harmony not only in his life but in his whole community as well. And he's a florist.

He knows both traditional indonesian flower meanings, and western flower language, and often mixes the two since the flowers in these cultures are so different. He makes bouquets, arrangements, and flower boards, keeping the tradition alive even when he's far away from home. This way he feels like he belongs, like he carries a piece of his mother with him everyday, and reminds himself that, even if he's been taken away from his home, it won't be taken away from him

It's pretty much only him in his shop, but his friend Dot also makes deliveries and helps him keep the shop running. He has a few regulars and all in all he lives a stable, happy life.

He meets Alec when he decides to make his first tattoo - a string of jasmines around his elbow, the national flowers of indonesia and also his mom's favorite. He chooses Alec both because of his mesmerising drawing style and his history of working and good recommendations from other dark-skinned people; his friend Catarina also tattooed at his shop, although with his sister, Izzy, who was the one who actually ran the shop

Alec is impressed by how well Magnus handles the pain; it's his very first tattoo and elbows are a bitch. Magnus doesn't tell him that after living with his father for so long he's used to the pain, but he does tell him about the meaning of the tattoo, the flowers, and his mom. He's surprised by how much he's saying to this guy he barely knows, but there's something about wanting to be distracted from the sting and having to be alone with this guy for who knows how many hours that keeps him talking. Alec listens to it quietly, focused on his work, and Magnus isn't even sure if he's actually listening, which kind of also works if he's being honest. Of course, Alec is; listening to Magnus talk is very nice, his voice is soothing and the way he talks about his mom and his passion for flowers is really touching, not to mention Magnus is just interesting; alluring, if you will. But he doesn't have much to add, so he listens

A few days later, Alec shows up at Magnus' shop, all private smiles and wandering eyes, and asks him for help with a birthday present for Izzy. He wants to make her something special, to thank her for her support when he came out and just support in general. It surprises Magnus, but Alec says that Izzy has always liked flowers and from the way Magnus was talking about it the other day, well, he seemed like a good person to help him with this present. He really wanted something to convey his gratitude

Magnus is pleasantly surprised that Alec remembers so much of what he said; even more so when he's careful not to step on Magnus' canang sari at the doorstep, with the incense still burning; and he's absolutely delighted when Alec says he wants Magnus to help him make an arrangement, not just make himself, and that he's willing to pay extra for his consulting (Magnus has never charged extra for consulting, because he really downplays his talent and work and loves sharing his knowledge; but it does feel nice to be valued and have his work acknowledged). So Magnus runs all of his ideas by him, shows him the flowers, and Alec carefully handles and smells them and listens to Magnus' suggestions and slowly makes his own based on what Magnus has been saying. Alec shows respect to the flowers and it's cute to see this big, buffy guy covered in weird tattoos and wearing a leather jacket going around and carefully handling the flowers Magnus grows.

Alec, on the other hand, is just fascinated by everything Magnus says and shows him, and his burning passion for what he does, and how clearly he likes to help people even if it means downplaying his own work

Wow this is actually starting to resemble a plot??? I'm shook

Anyway it takes them a long while to figure out what they want to do, and Alec actually ends up deciding on making izzy a flower board once Magnus mentions them offhandedly. Once Magnus assures him it's not offensive if he makes them with the proper care and respect for its meaning, they settle on working on that.

Listen I need excuses for them to interact okay. Also the idea of Magnus teaching Alec how to sew flowers???? Beautiful

Cue some gay shit, at least once Alec puts a flower behind Magnus' ear and tells him that it suits him, more often than not they find themselves having a lot of fun - Magnus teases him mercilessly over how bad at sewing he is, and Alec is deeply offended (except not really)

Once he even tries to challenge Magnus at doing something from Alec's element and see how well he does, only to be sent into the deepest despair when it turns out magnus is excellent at drawing

Magnus thinks he hears a muttered "of course" but he cant be too sure

Anyway they fall in love

Alec asks him out by making him a bouquet of magnus' favorite flowers, plus flowers that symbolize everything he loves the most about him (his uniqueness, his kindness, his fierceness, his determination in doing what he thinks is right, the joy he brings for everyone around him, his dedication to others, etc). Magnus all but swoons he is very charmed

They get married idk it always ends with them getting married when i have a say in it. Bonus points they get to be showered in flowers like in traditional indonesian weddings, which sends a very happy, very giggly magnus with petals still on his hair into absolute delight. Alec carries him bridal style to the bed and carefully takes the flowers off his hair and kisses him tenderly on their honeymoon and gggggggggggggggg.

Im gay and cant do this anymore im gonna get into a coma

Also, I will take this opportunity to just let it be known that y'all should feel absolutely free to take any and all of my posts as writing prompts; you dont need to ask for my permission to use the ideas, theres no way ill actually do them all and even if i do i dont mind that there are different versions of it going around; hell, i think that's amazing and exactly what fandom is for. Just link the post and if possible send me the fic because i'd be delighted to read it! What I'm trying to say here is, someone should write this

Also, I'm not hindu, so if any terms I've used are offensive or incorrect please let me know and I'll change it accordingly

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[sigetstopsurgery]

eight days since top surgery

whoof i really havent had the energy to post anything or even type at all until now so this is gonna be a long one. ill kinda try and do a little review of every day up until now in little groups, hopefully its all still fresh enough in my memory

jan 3rd: so i think the funniest part about me waking up post surgery was the fact that i went in to the operating room with one IV and woke up with three because apparently i have an anesthesia resistance that no one really knew about because i haven’t had surgery before except for wisdom teeth. i was kept at the hospital way longer than expected for a couple reasons: 1.) i was dosed up with so much anesthetic that i wouldn’t stay the fuck awake 2.) i did end up keeping my nipples meaning that i had to stay for a couple extra hours to make sure that the tissue took hold and didnt die (it didnt! im all good!) 3.) i puked multiple times, once again because of the absolutely massive amount of anesthesia they had to use on me. when i got home i was pretty much just wiped out and kinda miserable because of the puking and etc. my partner was there to take care of me and definitely made me feel a lot better. i dont really think i did much that night except lay in bed and watch buffy the vampire slayer. i did end up trying to eat and then also ended up puking again so that was not great at all. overall though? of all the things that couldve gone wrong at this point this was not bad at all.

jan 4th-6th: spent entire days in bed or on the couchpretty much just switching between sleeping and watching tv. man for the first few days i was just really wiped out. i couldnt brush my teeth, change clothes, or pee by myself so everything i was doing was really rough and took so so much extra effort. i ended up only taking the opioid pain meds on the day after i got home from surgery. otherwise i’ve been sticking strictly to tylenol. during this time i was getting a lot of little electric shocks of pain as well as a lot of pain in my drain areas and just general achiness. some people came and visited me so that helped in terms of distractions. at one point in this i had a really bad issue with constipation because of the painkillers that i took on the second day which was quite painful and upsetting. other than that though i was mostly just kinda waiting out the days and sleeping a lot.

jan 7th-10th: i started feeling better during this time, i was progressively able to do more and more things for myself, and i had energy for longer and longer periods. one of these days (i think it was the 8th) i went to the grocery store with my mom and my partner because i wanted sushi and i was going a little stir crazy. when i got home and checked a couple hours later, my drain was filled up with blood which is very much not supposed to happen. the doctors think i just jostled the drain from walking too much and accidentally hit a new pocket of fluid. i didnt end up having to go in because it wasnt a lot of blood and i didnt have any increased pain. sure was gross and anxiety provoking though. my darling partner also helped me rinse out my hair one of these days, which made me feel infinitely more human. ive been trying to change my clothes every day and etc, but its a rough process when you cant do it entirely by yourself. im really looking forward to monday when my drains come out and i can see my chest and also shower finally.

jan 11th: today is the first day that ive felt almost normal. like yeah im covered in bandages and theres tubes in my sides but ive felt mostly okay all day and havent had to take any tylenol or anything. the unfortunate part about this is that since i now feel okay physically pretty much im feeling even more trapped and uncomfortable and sad and stir crazy overall. luckily, its a nice day outside so im sitting and typing this with the door open so theres a breeze which always makes me feel a lot better. ive only got one more full day with my drains in and i could not be more excited to get them out and see whats goin on under these bandages!

[heads-in-the-clouds-spacecadet]

When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.

Here are a few days example....

Sunday 24th 

Mood/anxiety = numb. 

Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.

My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick. 

Things i ask myself....

Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?

A.1 NO. 

Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine

A.2 NO

Reasons....Why

I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done. 

The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.

The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep. 

Flashback/negative thoughts....

1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator. 

2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship. 

*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.

---Logically i know its not the same. 

---Emotionally it hurts the same. 

The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way. 

Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they  could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me  buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)

As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am. 

So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation. 

I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate. 

I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.

After food i sleep finally. 

Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.

My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐

Monday 25th

Mood/Anxiety -  still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested. 

Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.

I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way. 

This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean. 

Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board. 

I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum. 

I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far. 

I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.

All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine. 

I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict. 

Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed. 

Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings. 

Self soothing thoughts...

Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days. 

Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely. 

Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness". 

This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room. 

Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod. 

I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am. 

Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes. 

Thoughts...

Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!

Take precautions all will be ok. 

Tuesday 26th

Mood/Anxiety = No change 

Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.

My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house. 

We are having a picnic social distancing style. 

We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.

We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around.  But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.

My mum is late so im nervous that she is 

1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)

2. Lost (over reaction)

3. Just running late (normal reaction) 

Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...

I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives. 

Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball  gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant. 

Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.

Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past. 

[sugarpun-fairy]

BEING A FAN AND DATING JOEL PIMENTEL - HEADCANNON

A/n: i was just fooling around w my mate @brattybombshell when this came up LAST MONTH I’M LATE FOR EVERYTHING SO PLS FORGIVE ME

also this is huge so yeah, enjoy urselves 

-x-

He meets you on the meet&greet  

You're all shy and nervous and almost pass out too like the girl from that vid and he's enchanted

P.S. it's your first show ever

And you bring everyone a letter with a small gift in it

The boys joke with you the entire time, trying to make you loosen up a little

You notice some of Joel's looks at you but you're like  

Nah, fam, me? Nop.

But the thing is that YES, FAM, YOU!

He's curious about you, your laugh and puns (that are just worse than Erick's)

He looks like a KID trying to find you when he's on stage  

But he can't

You were too far for him to see you and oh if he could bring you closer (like to his side) HE WOULD

After the show he's asking the whole staff to find you  

They can't

So he nicknames you Cinderella

You stole his heart and left without letting any traces

But he remembers your letter

He search for it like a dog searching a bone it dug on the backyard

He wants anything he can find about you, he NEEDS

A name, an address, an user

Homeboy is SO relieved when he finds your letter  

When he reads it and see your number there? He's on the clouds

He could swear he wouldnt complain about ANYTHING ever AGAIN  

Well, if you answered to a number from another country at least

He calls you  

He text you  

And you're like WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING MATE

That's when you pick up and he's like "hey it's me Joel"

You almost faint right there

Let's say that the show was on a Saturday and he's calling you at like

3 AM

And he's like PLEASE COME MEET ME I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU and you're like FUCK

Your flight is booked to the afternoon

You dont have this much time

The two of you don't even sleep

He sends a car to pick you up and you're a bit scared but SO excited (bc let's be honest the world is rlly dangerous for girls/women)

You didnt had time to put on makeup, just a quick shower so when you meet him you're all "oh boy I should have dressed up better why didnt I listened to my mom" AND HE LOOKS AT YOU AND HIS EYES FUCKING SHINE

That's when you stop, freeze and thinks  

"Fuck  

He's too much sand for my paper truck"

Then you see he's wearing the choker you gave him

And you melt

He's like "do you know a place we can go?" And you're like "I DONT LIVE HERE FUCK HE MUST THINK IM PATHETIC AND MUST BE REGRETTING CALLING ME HERE”

He finds it adorable how your body language shows your nervousness  

You can't keep eye contact  

But then you do

And then he's like "fuck" and you're like "fuck"  

And he's like "if you dont feel uncomfortable we could just get some snacks and stay at my room and talk about life" and you're so nervous you just shake your head

You see the amount of letters and gifts in his bed and you're like  

"IM REALLY HERE HOLY FUCK"

He doesnt make any move if he feels you're too uncomfortable  

So by the sunrise you're both sitting beside the other eating something from room service and he's listening to you rambling about your life

(He finds it adorable how distracted you get when you're talk and how sometimes you mix languages)

Then you stop talking and just sits back  

He's like omfgwhatdidido

And you're like imtalkingtoomuchheprollythinksimboring

You two stand there in silence and you look at the window

Sun is rising

His window is pointed straight at its direction

Mate

You love that boy  

But theres nothing more magical than the sun rising so you just go

And he goes after you

Mate it's beautiful

The sun, all the colors

But hes not looking at it

Hes looking at how even more beautiful your smile gets when the sun hits your face

"I'm sorry can I kiss you?" He snaps  

You're pretty sure you heard it wrong  

"What? Wait really? Yes please!"  

He nods and laugh  

You're smaller so he's leaning down and suddenly you're so nervous YOU BURST OUT LAUGHING

Your next thought is "I fucked up" so yeah you cry a bit  

You can't lie and say you hadn't cried already because the whole thing was SO UNREAL

The show  

The meet  

Being there with him

When he tries again it works

His hands are around your face then on your nape  

You dare to put your on his shoulder and his hair

His hair is SOFT

You guys keep touch

Using instagram since you doesnt have iOS (you tell him you hate it and won't ever trade your lil samsung, he gives you one anyway just bc he can)

You're not sure how to feel about it

First you're on the show  

Second you're kissing him at sunrise on his hotel room  

Third he's sending you gifts just so you can talk more?????????

Anxiety kicks in OF COURSE it's way too much

He stops telling he's single on interviews  

The boys tease him about it all the time

Talking about his Cinderella

There's a whole move on Twitter to find out who she is

You know who she is

Sometimes you're insecure  

About his career  

About you two  

About the fandom  

About EVERYTHING

He's always reassuring you about how he feels and doesnt care about anything else

(Your answer is always the same: anything else but music)

You're scared you'll start annoying him w your insecurities

So you start talking to the other boys too about it

Guess who slips that Joel wants to take you to tour with them when you can?

its hard to convince your parents, your vacation from work and college are not at the same time and you're like FUCK

the tour ends and you cant go and you're feeling so down

until he texts you saying he'll go to your country to see you

WE GOT POSTS EVERYWHERE "Is he going to see his so called Cinderella? So that means they met during the tour? Make your bets everyone"

it's crazy

you spend the first nights with him at the hotel before going to your house

the feeling of him being too much for you hits you everyday

gets worse when he goes to meet your family and youre like oh boy

you're so nervous you almost throw up

and everyone be like IM SORRY WAHT and you be like WE NEVER DID ANYTHING STOP RIGHT THERE

he spends that night at your house

its you, him, and your pet

and when you wake up you starts crying because you still can't believe

he also loves to hear you sing, even tho HE'S the singer there

its just a thing he likes, how you try your best even if you hate your own voice

a couple days before he goes back home he's like "get your passport i want you to go with me" and youre like "SO IF I TELL YOU ITS NOT THAT FAST WHAT WILL U DO"

and he just goes "JUST GET UR PASSPORT I HAVE A COUPLE MONTHS OFF AND I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FAMILY TOO"

At moment you're thinking if you could just leave everything behind and go live w him

part of you wants to

part of you is like "WHAT IF HE GETS TIRED OF YOU AND LEAVE YOU AND YOULL BE ALONE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY WHAT WILL YOU DO"

U insecure again

he talks to your parents, assure them you'll be fine

so you go

at first is just a short time

no one will die because of a little vacation right?

WRONG you're both destroyed when you have to go home

what do to? what to do?

stay? go? (SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO TANANANANA sorry)

you know he wants to ask you to stay, he knows he cant ask you that

you turn to him and be like "if i find a job here and have the proper documents ill stay" bc you dont wanna be a burden and want to have your own independence too

also california  im not sure if he does live in california but for fictional purposes the answer is yes

one of your dreams

so you stay

he finds a small ap for you to share and his mom helps you find a nice job

when you're all set he turns to you and be like "i want to make us public" and you kinda just freezes right there

you've been together for almost a year now so why not? you end up going for it

-x-

taglist: @southside-sweets @batboys-and-other-messes @imaginesandideas @brattybombshell

[chrobinrickhen]

shit that happened

tw for child abuse, beating, physical assault, minor transphobia etc ///

my parents have been abusive to me my whole life. from things starting small with my mom treating me as her spouse and talking to be about things a parent shouldnt talk about with their as young as 3 year old child during times she was in fights with my dad, to while i was younger primarily beating me for simply crying at things (mainly in public places), the total and complete gaslighting of my abusive 5th grade teacher (which was somehow far worse than them lol) etc. however, they never seriously beat me before, as in, all out beating me up with continuous punches kicks and thrashing.

my mom would frequently slap me in the face or punch me once in the back at times as of recent during my years in high school where i struggled to my near (literal) hospitalization and death from mere over exhaustion and stress (i averaged less than 4-5 hours of sleep for all 4 years and my senior year i nearly didnt sleep At All) during my senior year my dad even threatened to kill me during one of my parents outbursts against me simply trying to reason (more like beg! lol!) for them to help me drop out of school because it was destroying me and was more and more traumatizing literally every day and they thought they were justified because “i was so close!” “youve already suffered for so long may as well stick it through!” despite my therapist and psychologist doing the best they can to tyr and get me out. my parents have punched a whole in the wall, thrown and broke things, (thankfully not at me) and simply just been physically threatening with destroying things important to me and my belongings.

however, after i graduated. and after i was diagnosed with ptsd. and after they seemed to become more understanding and learning from their mistakes i thought they were genuinely open to becoming better people and challenging themselves to listen to me and others.

this incidence proved that wrong.

itd been 2 years give or take i genuinely dont even remember what year i graduated lol since he threatened to kill me. i thought they changed and genuinely had formed trust with them that was slowly growing. and then somehow or another the topic of asylum seekers, ice, and the current concentration camps came up, to which my parents responded with some of the genuinely most vile words ive ever heard people say to my face.  i dont even want to try and repeat it here bc im pretty sure you can get the idea. i calmly tried to talk to them, they started to scream, i went up stairs. they continued to shout horrible things to me, that again, im skipping over for my own wellbeing bc it isnt exactly fun to recount. something something “you havent sufferred through shit” she said to me at one point. yes, your child who has been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, ptsd, ocd, eating disorder general symptoms, a survivor of school abuse spanning my whole life for not being neurotypical and cishet, and a pending diagnosis for adhd, TOTALLY has not suffered.

anyway, i wanted to die. what they said to me, was so horrific i really just, wanted to die, i kind of lied about it on twitter saying im not actually suicidal dont worry but i highkey was and i dont wanna try and cover that up again. i just didnt want anyone to worry (IM OKAY NOW AND NOT SUICIDAL DONT WORRY this if anything was a good lesson for me to learn) anyway, i told them this. i knew it was kind of shitty and guilty but all i asked of them. is that even if they cannot agree with me, if they would at least care to listen to why this is wrong and accept that they dont know everything like they are convinced they do and yet accuse me of claiming i myself am.

i texted them, that long thing, telling them how i would stay in bed and not eat or drink (for context my sleep schedule was fucked the two days prior and i barely had eaten or drinken) my memory is fucked and i would have to check with my therapist if im confusing this with another instance bc im pretty sure the beating happened the day the argument did but i also remember staying in bed for mulitple days? but anyway thats not important fhdiujng so. they came to me and started screaming shit at me. again. horrible shit. their response to their child saying “im suicidal and would rather die than you be my parents any longer if you refuse to listen to why these people deserve to not be put in cages and die” and their reaction was not concern but screaming, insults, calling me a monster, a puppetmaster (the irony) and I DID NOT. SAY. A WORD. TO THEM. I DID NOT MOVE> i was. completely. still. the entire time. i was weak. i was sick. Literally from dehydration and starvation. and because i did not answer them back they jumped ontop of me and my mom beat the shit out of me and chokeheld me, my dad then also did the same even though he did not hit me, he came close to strangling me before leaving the room. i was swollen and bruised all over including my face it was super visible for whatever reason but my body hurt like a motherfucker for over a week since that happened. i just cried when they left

then an hour later after htey beat me they came up and starting their baby uwu act of “i dont want to fight just go shower and come down and eat your dinner blablabla you know we love you rihgt?” and forcing me to apologize to them whenmy mom literally beat me, my dad screamed in my face with his nose to mine to and they helf my neck in their hands with the intent to cause physical harm to me.

proceeding this the aftershock of trying to process what hat happened was just. a lot as you can imagine. i was so paranoid and uncomfortable the week preceeding this just being aorund them hearing their voices literally everything about my house and them living in it was horrifying to me. my therapist helped me a lot and im ok now but like. they proved to me that they really just cannot be helped. theyre a lost cause. at this point to me, the only thing they are are a financial source to cover my transition and im left with no choice but to force myself to play the puppet. i tried to do a mix of both working with and against them before and it blew up in my face. it sucks but thats what it is and as long as obey their shitty asses ill be fine. i dont know where my future will go but i know and pray that it cannot and will not be with them. the moment i am away from them and my belongings are not in their possession they no longer exist to me unless they genuinely will accept the fact theyre the 2nd reason my ptsd exists.

tl;dr my parents suck and im forced to play their child puppet in order to literally survive their love of me is toxic and based on a false perception of what a child is supposed to be and i regret not calling child protective services on them whe n i had the chance

[wheresmaldo865]

ShinsoXReader Valentine Day Special Featuring Song Dead Girl walking from the Heathers

 Happy Valentines day! I got this idea in my head and decided to type this up. I originally wanted to do it for Bokugo but wanted to extend my characters palette... since my inbox is always empty :(

But any way, full steam ahead! I didn’t really get the chance to do detailed editing so please forgive me if theres any errors. Also the song is a little out of order so that some things make more sense.

Also, someone please tell me how to properly spell this kids name. I seen it boths ways with and without a u 😭

There a little doodle of Shinsou at the end 😉

Warning: Vanilla smut (Nothing detailed)

Word Count: 1752

‘The Demon queen of high school has decreed it, she says Monday, 8am I will be deleted. They’ll hunt me down in study hall. Stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?’

            Standing there in a ghostly empty party room was the worst nightmare anyone could have imagined. A ruptured friendship. Three ugly sisters with more power then they deserved. Yet, she forgot.

           She had put herself into this whole mess. She had wanted to be part of the ugly sister comment. The bitter sweet sensation had brought her satisfaction and acceptance between her other peers.

Now it was… only bitter.

Because (Y/n) had even had the audacity to stand against them. They made it a public statement to make her live a living hell. As if the room hadn’t already been hot before.

Her palms were sweaty from the wild night she had. Her school uniform stuck to her cold skin a bit to tightly. (Y/n) collar seemed to squeeze tighter, and tighter as the night went on.

I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and ride up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike.

           (Y/n) contemplated the endless options she could muster. Running away to the next town… or a town across the seas. Her parents didn’t need to know. No one needed to know anything. However, the more she thought upon one idea. The more ridiculous it ended up sounding. Even in her own head.

           So, she continued on her way home. The summer night was overwhelmingly stuffy. Large beads of sweat formed on her forehead and rolled down her red cheeks. Right about now she wished for nothing more than a cold shower to run down her spine.  

                       Y/n) spotted a window spilling light onto the side walk. Her eyes followed the beam of light to a room seated on a two-story building. She could a shadow of a figure walk by. Long spoffy hair poking out from all angles of his head. (Y/n) chuckled to herself.

           She knew who the lavender purple hair belonged to.

There was suddenly an interrupting thought that came into her mind. Something devious, something… naughty. The liquor in her blood burned and set her body a flame. Desire hit her with a bus, especially in the lower area. The more she played with the idea. The wetter she became.

           Wait, here an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting freaky!

Yeah!

           I need it hard. I’m a dead girl walking!

 (Y/n) marched her pretty little face right up to the door of Shinsou’s house. The blood in her veins mixed with the alcohol pumped excitedly. She was feeling too good to turn back. There was no hesitation in her hands as she lifted it to ring the doorbell twice.

           She waited patiently for the door to open.

I’m in your yeard. I’m a dead girling walking. Before they punch my clock. I’m snapping off your window lock. Got no time to knock. I’m a dead girl walking…

           The door finally opened. She was greated by the man himself, Hitoshi Shinsou. Someone she saw frequently in her life and had… affections toward. One could say the feelings were returned. There was only one way to find out now.

           “(Y/n)? What’re you doing in my house?”

She smiled innocently. She took her pointer finger and pressed it gently onto Shinsou lips. She found it amusing the way his eyes went wide. A blush slowly creeping its way onto his face.

           “Shhhh.”

Once Shinsou had finally regained his courage, he took her by the hand and led her inside. To him it was evident she wasn’t all put together, as she usually was. Before she could say anything more, he sat her up in his room. Giving her some water and medicine to replace the hangover pain she may have in the morning.

           “Better?” He asked with a soft smile.

She nodded. Though the courage in her heart did not disappeared with the buzz. (Y/n) scooted her body closer to his. Their shoulders, legs, and arms bumping in several places. The blushed rushed back to his, but he didn’t move away from her.  Her perfume flooded his senses. Rooting him in his place.

           Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I decided I must ride you ‘til I break you.

The blush on Shinsou’s cheeks traveled evenly to the rest of his face. He was completely blown away by the words that had just come out of his dear friends’ mouth.

           Of course, he adored his friend. He would risk life and limb for the women before him. On the other hand, this hadn’t been the way he had planned to confess to such a lovely girl.

           She was rubbing up against him in a way he almost couldn’t say no. Shinsou gently grabbed her by the shoulders and forced himself to pause for a moment. He had to be sincere now. For her sake.

           “Wait, wait! What has gotten into you?”

‘Cause Heather says I gots to go. You’re my last meal on death row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys”

           (Y/n) turned the table on him. She wiggled her way around him. Pinning him underneath her on his bed. There was her scent again, intoxicating his mind. The way she moved to sit upon his waist did the unimaginable to him. He was beginning to feel tight in the jeans he wore.

           He shot up again. As much as Shinsou wanted this. The desire for her consent grew bigger than anything poking in his pants. He would hate himself for several eternities if she regretted this in the end.

           “Wait.” The word fell firmly to (Y/n) ears. Her giggles became put aside. She starred wide eyes and locked eyes with Shinsou Listening attentively to what he had to say to her.

           Shinsou’s eyes closed for a moment. He simply let himself be present in her presence. Allowing him to short his desires and feelings.

           “I…” He started but couldn’t finished until another second passed. “I have cherished you… for what seems like forever now. Watching you become such a powerful hero and wonderful friend. I would do anything to protect you from any harm. Even if that means it’s from myself. So, I have to know. You have to be certain.”

           Shinsou toned shifted from his love filled admiration to an urgent one. What he said next was a serious matter to him.

           “You have to be certain this is what you want. With me. A life and a future with someone like me. Otherwise, I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

           Shinsou’s room became painfully silent for a few moments. (Y/n) eyes traveled to his chest. Perhaps trying to dissect his rapidly beat heart for sincerity. When she came back to meet his gaze… Shinsou had a feeling she had her answer.

           A soft smile graced her lips. Her face was so close to his he could taste the drink she had on his tongue.

           And you know, you know, you know. Its cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside, but I can’t agree. So the worlds unfair. Keep it locked out there. In Here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful!”

            Her lips were on his in an instant. Her hands slide across his chest and up to his neck. Losing themselves in his wild hair. It took him a moment to register what was finally happening. Once he knew, boy. Did he respond. His arms found their way around (Y/n) waist and brought her closer to him. It didn’t take long before the grinding became heated. Kisses became hastily sloppy. Hands were slipping into places never touched by anyone else.

           One by one, clothes were beginning to come off.

 Tonight, I’m yours. I’m your dead girl walking! Get on all fours! Kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s, go you know the drill. I’m hot and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will- Of a dead girl walking!

            Shinsou had (Y/n) pinned down to his bed. His pillowed framing her face perfect, though her hair was already becoming a mess. The face she was giving him still droves his desire. He wanted you immediately. It was only a matter of time before Shinsou had his thumb hooked on the pants and panties (Y/n) had chosen to wear. Sliding them off her smooth (S/c) legs. The new cool air rubbing against her sex produced a whimper from her throat. Shinsou chuckled lighty at the reaction.

           He then removed his own shirt. Moving to then remove hers. He plucked the buttons one by one. The bra she wore was gone in a second. Revealing her total naked body to him. A sculpture he could marvel in for hours if he was given the time.

           Full steam ahead. Take this dead girl walking! Lets break the bed. Rock this dead girl walking. No sleep tonight for you. Better chug that Mountain Dew! Get your ass in gear. Make this whole town disappear.

                      (Y/n) rose up from her place. Starling Shinsou slightly. He let out a small yelp when he found himself on his back again. His face turned red again when (Y/n) undid the buckle of his pants and ran them down impatiently. As if he would run away when the clock struck 12.

           Her mouth found his member way too quickly for Shinsou to take. A loud groan caught him off guard as her wet lips wrapped around him. Her tongue swirling in all the right spots. Another growl ripped through his teeth when the full length of him hit the back of her throat. Combined with rhythmic pumping of her mouth and hand was almost too much for him. Shinsou had to protest for a stop before he would be completely spent.

           Sitting up and looking into (Y/n). He couldn’t be filled with anymore lust before her burst. It only took another minute for (Y/n) to lay on her back. Shinsou nestling himself between her legs. Teasing her wet entrance.

           A single push at the hip was all it took for him to be completely inside her.

  The rest of the night Shinsou and (Y/n) spent their new-found time tangled in each other. Pleasure and it each touch filled with loving passion. They shared every moment they could. Hot breathes, moans and kisses coming from their lips.

[poppy-metal]

There is going to be a lot of triggering things up ahead, dealing with rape, suicide, abusive relationships, and the like. So if you can't handle hearing about that stuff it's okay. Take care of yourself.

I just need to tell my story right now, because it's the last time I might be able to tell it. I've kept it inside for so long but I need to let it out.

I don't remember a time where I wasn't full of anxiety. Ever. My parents weren't in the healthiest relationship and fought all the time. My mom was okay, if a bit immature and wild at times. But I loved her, and she used to love me. My dad was a different story. I can't ever remember feeling safe around him. Not once. He was, is, bipolar and would scream at me and hit me and lock me in my room over the smallest infractions, like, missing a spot when I cleaned the dishes, or not wanting to play outside. He also touched me sexually (': every night he'd come into my room to say 'good night' and spoon me and touch my body and just kiss my neck and squeeze my chest and touch between my legs. Every night I dreaded bed time. Every night I just layed there and let him do what he wanted and said nothing. I don't think I knew what it meant, I just knew how scared and uncomfortable it made me. My mom never knew, she still doesn't. No one does. This happened for as long as I can remember, from when I was like 5 (that's as far back as my memories go) to when I was 13. I developed a nervous tick from the stress of worrying when I was next going to be hit or touched, and got made fun of in school for that, because my hands would shake.

My mom and dad got a divorce then and my mom moved to Florida and I begged her to take me with her. I couldn't be the only female in that house with my dad. I couldn't. She did and I was happy for a bit (': my grandparents and the rest of my family live in Florida and it was nice. I lived with my mom for awhile, 3 years, from 13 to 15/16. And at the beginning it was okay, like I said before, I loved my mom. She was cool and fun and I just wanted to impress her all the time. I just wanted her to notice me. I just wanted to be fun and free like she was. She started making friends that weren't good people, drug addicts and convicts and homeless people. There would be up to 10 random people in our house at a time and at first, even though it was weird and made me uncomfortable, I tried to be cool with it. Then stuff started getting bad. The men (bc it was all guys) started noticing me more and more and started making comments on how pretty I was, how much I looked like my mom. One in particular, being my mom's boyfriend, noticed me the most. Whenever my mom wasn't in the same room he'd be at my side, wanting to know how I was doing and letting me know how 'sexy' I was. I started locking my door at night (a habit I still have now, I need to lock doors) and had trouble sleeping due to the sounds of people getting wasted and partying all night long. I started falling behind in school. One day someone in my class started a rumor that I was into witchcraft bc I wore all black all the time and didn't speak. (': no one talked to me or tried to. I went home that day and cried, and got mad at my mom and told her she needed to get her shit together bc how she was living wasn't healthy. She called me a loser and said I was just jealous of the attention she got and that I had no life and her boyfriend (Kyle) was there the whole time just watching me, so I went to my room and cried my eyes out. I forgot to lock the door that night and it was the worst mistake of my life.

TW GRAPHIC DETAIL OF RAPE: he came in that night and I was under the covers still silently crying and he just slid under them next to me, just like my dad used to, and I just. Froze. I just froze because that's what I do when I panic, and he pulled me to him and touched me all over and moaned so loud, and kept telling me how fucking hot I was and how I'd teased him for so long by wearing shorts and baggy shirts around the house. He fingered me and I'll never forget how sweaty his hands were and how dry I was and how much it hurt. I'll never forget feeling his hot body and the alcohol and weed on his breathe when he pressed me down and raped me. It's awful how the whole time I wasn't even panicking anymore. Because in that moment it clicked for me. I didn't matter. Im a waste of space. I'm nothing. I just stared at my dresser the whole time and thought about nothing. I've never felt more blank and empty then in that moment. He finished, not inside, but on my sheets, and left just as quietly as he had come. And I just. Stopped. I stopped feeling. I stopped everything. I was 15. I stopped waking up early in the morning to go to school. My mom didn't even notice I'd stayed home most days. I'd just lay in bed and sleep all day. I cut myself in the shower. I didn't eat. I got touched and felt up a few more times after that, 2 by Kyle and 1 by someone else. I didn't care, I just detached myself. I probably would have died soon, but my school noticed I hadn't been attending classes for months and contacted my grandparents bc my mom wouldn't answer. I got taken out of my mom's home and moved in with my grandparents for that reason. My mom didn't care. Kyle said he'd miss me.

I don't know when but I got my emotions back slowly. My grandparents bought me a phone and a computer and that's when I discovered online. It helped so much. It really did. I met nice people. I met my best friend. I met my first ex. (': he was my first love and at this time, I still didn't know what being treated with respect was like. He took advantage of that. He abused me mentally daily, and told me I was worthless and that there were much better options around and that I was weak for letting myself be raped and doing nothing. I don't know why I loved him. We accept the love we think we deserve so. He ended up cheating on me and telling me it was my fault. The worst part is I still kept in contact with him and every now and then we'd talk (when he was single and needed some side ass) and he'd be mock sweet and tell me I was important only to get nudes from me and then ditch me again the second his main goal came back. Inadequacy hello 😎 this happened from when I was about 17/18.

I then went through what I thought was a positive time in my life. I met my other ex and he seemed so good. He seemed to love me, he seemed to want me. And for a year I was happy. And then he too, cheated on me 😎 in the word possible way, by force. And now that I look back on it there were a lot of ways he wasn't good. He ignored me a lot and invalidated me whenever there was an argument.

So at this point I've decided I'm worth about shit, right? A dad who cares about me a little to much, a mom who doesn't at all anymore e except when she needs money. Two boyfriends who found better options and who lied and cheated and abused me.

Wrong. Because I started my tumblr and made alot of online friends. Friends who I adore and love and have feelings for. Friends who seem to love me back. And I thought that was enough but 😎

There is now a family friend who has taken to noticing me too much, to touching me when he has the chance. He's been getting close and closer for the past year. My dad sent me a letter on my birthday telling me he can't wait to see me when he gets out, how much he thinks I've probably grown so much prettier then he remembers, how much he can't wait to hold me again. I got felt up at the grocery store the other day. My mom and her boyfriend visited and Kyle picked me up and copped a feel and he still smelled like alcohol and weed just like always.

That family friend touched me again today. Worse then that he called me pretty and when we were alone he sat next to me on the couch and put his hand on my leg and let it travel up, and up. And I did nothing. I did nothing.

I am nothing. Everyone needs who reads this now knows why. I don't have worth. I don't have value. It's all been taken. I don't have anything left to give anyone. I want to fall in love, I have already, with someone, I think. They've shown me so much kindness and I've opened up to them and they've seen sides of me no one has and they deserve so much but I'm nothing and I can't give anything. I'm not worth them, I'm not and I'll never be. I'm not worth anyone. I am dirt, I am scum, I am a husk of a person. I'm not sexy or beautiful or special or fragile or lovely. I am tainted and bruised and so, so ugly. I'll never be worth love and happiness. Never.

By the time you finish this post I will have downed as many pills as I possibly can. I'm to much of a coward to cut anymore. I dont even know if ill die or not. I just need to sleep and not think about how worthless I am for awhile. I'm sorry. I've already been letting myself waste away by not eating.

I am not worth being loved or treasured. I'm not worth having love. I'm not worth having a boyfriend or girlfriend that love me. I'm not.