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#if I love this ironically or genuinely or both
pedroshotwifey · 11 hours
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what about a drabble about a first date with logan who's trying so so hard to have manners and be a gentleman but he's nervous and keeps messing up and its so adorable and cute????? of course reader tells him to chill out and be his normal fucking self because that's who she likes. I felt so bad for him in a clip that's circulating on tiktok where someone says to him that he's not the kind of guy they'd take home bc that's only for good guys
Okay so I loved this so much and then I got excited ab writing Logan and it turned into more of a fic than a drabble, but here it is 😭
First time writing him so I hope it sounds alright! I did use a little something from the recent movie to add a bit of oomph to the ending. Again, thank you much for this request, it's so cute 🥰
Just realized I made it an f!reader insert, but if you want to message me, I can easily switch some things around and repost if you want a diff reader!
The Right Guy
Pairing: f!reader x Logan/Wolverine
W/C: 1.1k
Fluff/diet angst, Just a few F bombs here, nothing bad (they told me absolutely no coke)
******
You scold yourself as you check the small watch on your wrist for the tenth time in ten minutes. In your defense, the time is absolutely crawling by. Logan should be here for your first date in about five minutes, and you’re nervous as hell.
You’ve been crushing on him since you were hired at the mansion a few months ago, so since he asked you out a week ago, your stomach has been constantly swarmed by butterflies. He’s sweet, funny, carefree, but mature—and not to mention sexy as hell. You really don’t want to mess this up. 
Lucky for you, it seems that he feels the same. He tends to be a little more nervous around you, his blush more prominent when you tease him. It both comforts you and gives you confidence. He seems to genuinely like you for who you are. 
Because of that, you decided to wear your favorite dress for your date. He told you he’d be taking you to a restaurant, but didn’t get specific, so it was honestly the safest choice anyway. It’s one of those that could be casual just as easily as it could be fancy. A few well-selected pieces of jewelry can make a world of difference, after all. 
You glance in the mirror, and then back at your watch. It’s right as the long hand makes a round to signify that it’s two before seven that you hear a sharp knock at your door. You jump up from your seat, slightly startled. If anyone had been in the room with you, you'd probably be embarrassed. 
Thankfully, since you’re home alone, you ignore the scare and head for your front door. You take one more deep breath and pull on the knob to reveal your handsome date. You look Logan up and down, expecting his usual outfit—blue jeans, a white shirt, and either his leather or jean jacket. What you get instead, is a suit. You have to make a physical effort to not show your confusion. Okay, maybe you expected a nicer shirt or something—ironed jeans if he really wanted to go crazy—but a suit? 
“Oh, hey!” Unfortunately, it’s a bit harder to keep the confusion out of your voice. Don’t get it wrong, it’s nice of him to try to dress up for you, and he does look very nice, but he doesn’t look like Logan. Your eyes catch on his hair—the usual tufts you love so much look to be somewhat flattened by a gel. 
It’s while you’re distracted by this that he reveals a hidden hand holding a bouquet of flowers—your favorite, actually. So why do you feel almost…disappointed? No, that can’t be it. It’s so cute that he’s putting all this effort in for you, but you really just want the normal Logan.
“Oh, wow,” you say, trying to shake off whatever this strange feeling is. “Thank you, Logan.” 
You carefully accept the flowers and step aside to let him inside while you put them in water. It’s strange that he hasn’t said anything else yet. Wait, should you say something? No, he usually says something. There’s usually a joke cracked by now. It’s weird that he’s not, right? Ugh, maybe it’s you being weird? The awkward tension between the two of you is suffocating.
You’re almost disoriented with your overthinking as you move about your kitchen, pulling down a vase to fill with tap water. Logan, of course, notices. 
He softly clears his throat. “Everything alright?”
You set the vase down on your island and look at him, lips pursed. Should you say something? Well shit, he probably sees something wrong by now—you’re staring at him like you want to say something. Damn it. 
You open your mouth and close it again. How do you even say what you want to say though? 
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you lie. Right to his face. 
You smile and walk back to him, trying your best to ignore the expression on his face. Great, now you’re being weird, too. Why the fuck is this weird? 
You breathe out as you close and lock your door, mentally prepping yourself for what you’re really hoping will be a good date. Logan’s waiting for you next to his—
Car? 
Where the fuck is his bike? 
Whatever—it doesn’t matter, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s probably just in the shop or something. 
You give him a tight-lipped smile as you walk to the vehicle, and he opens the passenger door for you. You slide into the seat and wait for him to shut the door before exhaling again. This is all very sweet, but you’ve got to say something. 
You stare at him as he gets into the driver’s seat. Again, he notices. There’s a thick, momentary silence.
“Look, bub, whatever it is, I—”
“You’re not acting like you,” you blurt. 
He stares at you for a second, but you’re pretty sure he knows exactly what you’re saying. You’re pretty sure that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. 
“Logan, you don’t have to put on this show for me,” you say as gently as you can, though it comes out maybe a tad aggravated.
He lets out a slow exhale through his nose and closes his eyes for a blink. You feel bad pointing it out, but there’s no way you can go through a whole date with this stiff act. He opens his eyes back and you offer him a sympathetic smile, your hand reaching out to cup his jaw. He leans into your touch, his own hand coming to envelop yours. 
“I want to go on a date with the Logan I already know, with his bike, and his blue jeans—you move your hand to his hair, messing it up enough to loosen the gel hold—and his crazy ass looking hair.” 
He huffs a laugh, looking at you with tired eyes. You understand how much he must have stressed over all the little details he put in for you. 
“It was very sweet of you to do all this, but you don’t need to perform for me, Lo.” 
He nods slowly, taking a moment to think over everything. “It’s been a long time since I took a chance with somebody,” he confesses, his gruff voice holding an emotion that makes your heart ache for him. “I wanted to be the right guy for you.” 
Your stomach flips. “Logan, you are the right guy for me. You’re always the right guy.” 
Before he can say anything else, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. Surprise halts him for a second, but he’s quick after to reciprocate, his lips moving slowly but passionately with yours. One of his large hands snakes behind you to cup the back of your neck, the other gently tilting your chin. 
You kiss until you’re out of breath, and when you pull away, you let out an airy laugh. Despite the suit, he looks like your Logan again. Wild hair, wild eyes, pink in his cheeks. 
“C’mon, Romeo,” you tease. “Let’s get that damn jacket off and order a pizza and beer.” 
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Der Student von Prag (The Student of Prague) Dir. Henrik Galeen 1926
So I'm going back and rewatching a handful of the titles from the initial 50+ film journey into Conrad Veidt's filmography. Some I'm revisiting because they made such an indelible impression on me the first time, others because I want to give them a second chance. The Student of Prague was among the first films on what wound up being a year-long deep dive into Connie's work and history. I loved it then, but even more so now.
I want to live inside this movie. Galeen and his crew made a hell of a picture, made all the more special by Conrad Veidt doing the literal most.
There is a bewitching quality to The Student of Prague, from Conrad Veidt's dual performances as both Balduin and his Double to the atmospheric cinematography and special effects. It's a dreamy film that really sets itself apart as a dark and lovely supernatural period piece.
Despite some very minor issues, over all it's genuinely pretty perfect. It's one of those films that, even with its faults, sweeps me effortlessly into the gothically Romantic world of the story.
Maybe the film could have benefited from tighter editing, cutting some of the longer sequences and unnecessary shots. But an argument could also be made that these longer scenes aid the spell the film is casting over its audience, the way Sciapinelli weaves his spell on the hilltop to draw Balduin and Margrit together.
The cinematography by Günther Krampf and Erich Nitzschmann is really something special. Shadow was a big motif and standard tool filmmakers used back then, especially those working in the Expressionist style, but for 'Student, maybe because of the early 19th century setting and the proximity of the natural world (both real and fabricated), the use of shadow here makes the film feel more like a fairy tale illustrated by Arthur Rackham than the Uncanny Art Deco of classic German Expressionism. The digital restoration really highlights how successfully they worked with value and contrast to create such a visually rich film.
And it fucken WIMDY. The use of wind throughout the film is really effective -- Sciapinelli's coat billowing out behind him on the hilltop, the rustling foliage behind Balduin after the duel, dead leaves blown into the Countess's bedroom, and the gales that follow Balduin through the city in the film's final act. Whether used on a studio set or in location shots, wind here feels not only atmospheric but also supernatural; it's Sciapinelli's invisible presence when he's not even in the shot.
Even the relatively minimalist score works. It's mostly piano supplemented occasionally by one or two other instruments, a flute or an accordion, and there are only a handful of repeated themes. Apparently the music that's in the most recent restoration was composed only a few years ago by Stephen Horne, so it's really anyone's guess what the original soundtrack by Willy Schmidt-Gentner was like. Regardless, the new music definitely feels appropriate not only to the period the film was made but also the overall Vibes.
On my first watch about a year ago, I was struck by the special effects used in this film. For the time it was made, the effects had to be incredibly impressive. The transitions where the Double appears and disappears in a ghostly fashion are fun, but there's an especially cool shot where he appears to walk through an iron gate, and a really great close up dolly shot towards the end of the film where the Double appears to float toward the back of the room. And I don't know if this was something they touched up in post-production or if the lighting on set was chef's kiss perfect, but Connie's eyes literally glow. There are shots where his eyes, especially as the Double, are like two beacons set in the shadows.
The other performances… they're fine. I mean, everyone who wasn't playing Balduin has to have known it wasn't their movie. Except for Werner Krauss as Sciapinelli who looks like if Alfred Molina was sent back to the 1920s and did as much cocaine as he could find. He's so creature coded that I genuinely don't know what to make of his performance. Everyone else, including Connie, is kind of doing a riff on realism to varying degrees of exaggeration but still relatively tame for the era (compare the acting in 'Student to The Hands of Orlac just two years earlier). But I guess Werner Krauss didn't get the memo, or because Sciapinelli is a supernatural character it's ok for him to be a little out there. He does some really delightfully creepy and borderline upsetting stuff especially in the scene when he makes the deal with Balduin. It's all very weirdly sexual and I hate it. Otherwise, there's unfortunately very little of note in the other performances. Elizza La Porta as the flower girl does the pathetic-cute thing well, but Agnes Esterhazy's Margrit is sadly pretty forgettable.
But the Balduin of it all. This is truly a groundbreaking role for Conrad Veidt at this time in his career. I feel like this film alone slingshot him into his meatier and more interesting roles in the late 1920s. Sure, Connie was doing some interesting and versatile stuff around this time (Ingmarsarvet and Carlos & Elisabeth come to mind), but this just hits different. Everything kind of lines up perfectly for him as this character, and the story is that unique Poe-inspired blend of the uncanny and capital R Romance that really suits him. Because of the nature of the story itself, Connie's free to play big when it works for the character, but also works in these incredibly vulnerable and subtle moments as well. I don't know if this is thanks to the director being hands-on with Connie or just letting him do his thing. Whatever the case, it works.
It's maybe worth mentioning Connie was 33 when they shot this. I don’t know how old Balduin's supposed to be, but he's probably at least ten years younger than Connie was at the time. And I buy it, I buy that Balduin is a young man, foolish and naïve in the way only someone that young could be. His youthfulness isn't just suggested in the character's decisions but also in his physicality. When we first meet Balduin, Connie's doing this sulky, pouty, petulant thing that I love for him. In the first act, he's clearly beloved by his fellow-students and by the flower girl, and he easily slips out of his misery about his money problems into a more lighthearted mood. He's moody one moment and playful the next, joining in a low-stakes fencing match for fun when just moments before he was brooding alone full Morrissey style in the garden. This initial lightness about the character sets him up for his eventual inevitable hard fall into shame and helplessness.
I'm afraid to admit it took me a whole 24 hours after watching this a second time to realize that Balduin is kind of a dick. But Connie's performance is so good and so empathetic that I didn't notice right away. He himself is stunningly, Byronically beautiful in this film. He's like a painting of a tragic, Romantic hero come to life, I can’t even handle it. And, my god, the yearning! It's palpable. In the wrong hands, I would probably hate this character. I haven't seen Wegener's or Walbrook's versions, but I can't imagine they're as charismatic as Connie is in the role.
But what I love even more than Connie as Balduin is him as the Double. I am FASCINATED by this performance and this character. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. The way he consolidates his movements so that he practically glides through the frame, the way he keeps this performance distinct by slowing everything down and keeping a lot of the Double's anguish internal… it's so good.
I think we only see the Double four times before the last act of the film: first when he steps out of the mirror; much later outside the Countess's party; in the graveyard; and after he kills the Baron in the woods. Initially, when the reflection steps out of the mirror after Balduin signs Sciapinelli's contract, the Double seems pretty soulless. His dead-eyed, mask-like expression as he stalks out of the room makes it seem like he's just going to be a mindless puppet Sciapinelli can use to torment Balduin. And certainly in their first two encounters, Balduin's mirror image slinks out of the shadows as a reminder of his Faustian bargain but also as something of a stand in for his conscience. The first two times we see the Double out in the world are when Balduin is at his happiest, in his most romantic moments with Margrit, who is not only completely out of Balduin's league but also promised to someone else (even if that some one else is her cousin...). Nothing about the Double's presence in these scenes suggests that he's anything more than a phantom, a specter to haunt the protagonist from a distance.
But then, something changes. The Double isn't just a ghost that only Balduin can see; he's just as real as his counterpart, and his actions have consequences. Balduin promises Margrit's father, the Count, to spare her cousin-fiancée in a duel the Baron knows he cannot win -- Balduin is, after all, the best swordsman in Prague. They even say the fight is supposed to be with heavy sabers, which sound like they could really mess you up. But when dueling day arrives, Balduin is delayed by the wheels inexplicably coming off his carriage. He races through the countryside on foot in order to make his appointment, but it's too late. He stops dead in his tracks, frozen in fear, as the Double appears, approaching him slowly from the tree line. When the Double reaches him, Balduin sees the bloody sword and immediately recoils, fearing the worst. But what's most interesting about this scene is that, when the Double finally looks up, his expression is not that of a mindless zombie. When he looks up, the Double looks horrified. Realization slowly rises in his face, and he turns to Balduin with this look of abject horror and helplessness while Balduin cowers in fright. And as the Double turns to walk out of the clearing, he hangs is head in pained resignation and I AM OBSESSED. There are no intertitles in this sequence, but the anguished look he gives Balduin says, "Do you see now? This, and worse than this, is going to keep happening." Connie's performance in this scene suggests the Double may not be able to control his actions but he certainly has feelings about them. So does this mean the Double is in fact Balduin's soul? His goodness? His innocence? I NEED TO KNOW MORE.
The Double is also consistently dressed in the student costume Balduin wears at the beginning of the film. After Sciapinelli gives Balduin the money, Balduin buys a whole new wardrobe (honestly, who wouldn't?). But the mirror version of Balduin doesn't change to reflect Balduin as he is in the present; the Double wears the clothes of a student -- the cap, the velveteen jacket -- because he represents who Balduin was. He's the boy, the youth uncorrupted by excessive wealth and privilege, now made to do horrible things because Balduin so easily handed him over to Sciapinelli when they made their deal. UGH.
The final time Balduin sees his Double, his mirror self hounds him with measured steps, pushing him away from the fragile security of wealth and opulence back to his abandoned student flat. And the expression on the Double's face now is grimly accusatory, it's deeply solemn disappointment, it's a final judgment before an inevitable end. There's sorrow and resentment in the Double's eyes, but kept restrained and subtle, gradually building in wordless intensity until Balduin must finally face himself, literally, in order to end his torment, finding a pistol and shooting his mirror image and therefore killing himself.
Maybe a lot of the descriptors I use for Connie are hyperbole, but his work in this film is remarkable. Anyone interested in getting to know him as an actor, hell, anyone interested in film history period, absolutely should watch The Student of Prague at least once.
Final thoughts: For real, though, it would suck to not have a reflection. I recently had a whole conversation with my (straight, cis male) family members about this; not a one of them owns or even sees the need for a full length mirror. And maybe the big mirror in Balduin's student room came with the place when he moved in, but you get used to having something like that. I know it would drive me crazy not being able to check my whole outfit to make sure I don't look like a doofus before leaving the house.
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Let's ride ALL NIGHT Sons of thunder (Sons of thunder!)
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booasaur · 1 year
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Minx (2022) - 2x01
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i get that xaden and violet's declarations of love and how much they care about each other are supposed to be romantic but honestly it is just complete and utter clown behavior. every time xaden says some overdramatic shit like
"I want you more than my next breath."
"Every day I wake up starving for you"
"My heart only beats as long as yours does, and when you die, I’ll meet Malek at your side. It’s a damned good thing that you love me too, because you’re stuck with me in this life and every other that could possibly follow."
"There is no me without you"
"My life, if it even existed beyond yours, would mean nothing without you in it"
"I would rather lose this entire war than live without you"
"I love you, the world does not exist for me beyond you"
"I'd kick his ass for implying there's any other future other than the one where you and I are endgame"
i'm literally just here laughing my ass off. like sir, respectfully, you need to calm the fuck down lmfaoo
and violet is just as insanely overdramatic. these two are perfect for each other, they're both such emotionally stunted overdramatic fucking losers and i love them sooo much
"I’ll die if he makes me wait any longer"
"You’re my gravity. Nothing in my world works without you."
King and Queen of DRAMA! lmaoo
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completely warranted
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rinbylin · 1 year
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可待的意思是 请你 等等我。 (please wait for me.)
#posts made by me for me myself and i only#keep scrolling! just me having a mental breakdown! nothing to see here!#me hearing lwx say 可待的意思是请你等等我 for the 7378414828th time: *bursts into fucking tears*#my posts#hlht#lhl#ok. serious thoughts time. it's always lowkey funny to me that it's genuinely believed#(like in xcp's eulogy for him)#that xdq cares more about his people than anything#it's not that i think he doesn't care? he's actually kind and good and feels for his people but?#he cares in a detached and distant way exactly in the manner he can from within the palace walls#...which is reminiscent of huahua in the last episode going yeah he's a good emperor (really?)#and i'll give up my only chance to survive in exchange for the peace of the world#(he says. but it's also for xiaobao - like. every political move xdq makes it's mixed with personal stake)#he does things *for* the good ever since he has been the lxy who built sigumen#but is it really *out of* goodness or he's just trying to live up to the ideal xia#his self-imposed isolation as the top of wulin is as iron-clad as the palace walls of confucian social roles that hold xdq in#the way that hlht is all about the social world and lhl is all about the world outside of that which xdq dreamt about#then at the end of the day they both go back to the water bodies where they wish to be released into... bye#and they leave behind loved ones who will go see the world for them#xdq is so much less cruel to them than huahua is tbh#at least xdq had aggressively fought for them and to be with them#both stories are like. what happens to someone AFTER they're at the top and was born into/for that role?#do you know what fucked up things that does to someone?#ok bye FOR LEGAL PURPOSES THIS POST IS FOR MYSELF and whoever wants to read ONLY
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I'm speedrunning the Roier/Cellbit VODs I missed on Wednesday and dear god you guys weren't kidding, this whole stream really is the embodiment of
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sukugo · 11 months
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alas I must gallantly decline the date as I am deadthly allergic to being Perceived, but know I will be there in spirit. Please eat your fav chocolate&[other flavor here]* with your popcorn** in my honor and know I am with you in delicious, delicious spirit
*Chocolate & Mint/Peanut Butter/Caramel/Malt/Raspberry/Any Kinda Fruit/etc. please debate with each other over which chocolate combo is best and post about the experience if you wanna lol.
**also, use this opportunity to try a spicy popcorn if you have ever been curious, as a boon to me I love spicy cornz
@cowboyhorsegirl it appears our dearest matchmaking anon is incapable of joining us 😔, but! that is alright. yes we will absolutely have u in our hearts anon, thank u for all that u have done
what flavor do both of u like!!! pb and chocolate never misses if i gotta say.
also i cant believe ive never had spicy popcorn, but the next time it's the occassion for popcorn i WILL, in ur honor anon. i know it's gonna be great
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silhouettecrow · 1 year
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 133
Adjective: Dulcet
Noun: Bloom
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Dulcet: (often ironic) (especially of sound) sweet and soothing
Bloom: a flower, especially one cultivated for its beauty; the state or period of flowering; the state or period of greatest beauty, freshness, or vigor; a youthful or healthy glow in a person's complexion; a delicate powdery surface deposit on certain fresh fruits, leaves, or stems; a grayish-white appearance on chocolate caused by cocoa butter rising to the surface; a rapid growth of microscopic algae or cyanobacteria in water, often resulting in a colored scum on the surface; a full bright sound, especially in a musical recording
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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Daigo has so many genuine connections, all these people who would stand by him regardless of if Tojo still exists. It just sort of feels like it plays to the way Masato is just chronically blind to the love around him and the strength of Ichiban's whole thing and surrounds himself purely with transactional relationships. It's the way Mine viewed the world before he met Daigo, but Masato is purposefully cultivating this environment around himself. Masato HAD those bonds where Mine didn't, but Masato's "those who use and those who are used" still feels like a worse distillation of Mine's philosophy, or at least that the two rhyme even if they aren't the same. Daigo originally defying Mine's worldview led to a longing to understand it and be a part of it; Daigo defying Masato's would probably just lead to more seething lol. Tojo going away, not only is just 'oops daigo already planned on that' robbing Masato of the satisfaction, idk it just further highlights that without being wrapped up in the status of Chair that these people are still with Daigo. Aoki bought his connections through lies and money and destroyed the only ones he sincerely had by following "use or be use" to its end, but Daigo could just fuck off anywhere he wanted and still have not just friendship but as Masato might see it absolute loyalty (esp in a Mine lives scenario; Aoki's lil pet bastard Kume's devotion is absolutely a speck vs **Mine** ). Both Aoki and Daigo can lose their positions of power, but its only Masato who feels like he's lost everything. sdfklfsjld idk goodbye anyway the brainrot is strong please keep going I'm here for every second
OK BUT LIKE. ALL OF THIS. ABOVE MY FIREPLACE AND FRAMED
the note bout mine and masato's worldviews IS SUCH an interesting point too: in essence they both believed the same thing (genuine bonds are a myth and people only use each other), it was just that mine held onto the small hope that he'd be wrong one day. by the time daigo does prove him wrong, he's almost automatically willing to accept it. his problem is that he became so attached to daigo that when the possibility of him being taken away became real, he went off the deep end
in masato's case. Lord he's a field day to explore psychologically maybe in another post, but he did have those bonds mine wanted so earnestly for more than half his life, exactly. ever since arakawa saved him- hell, even after sawashiro realized the life he inflicted upon him, masato was showered with nothing but love from the arakawa family. it's a wonder that despite that fact, masato still insisted he was neglected and alone. settling for relationships he knew were fake and for the most part temporary, he wanted to protect himself- he didn't want to be attached and become hurt and vulnerable again
it really is a cruel twist for masato and daigo and how they end up: despite daigo actually having grown up alone, that didn't stop him from having a warm and inviting attitude towards people and giving him a sizable amount of people who'd follow him to the ends of the earth. inversely, masato had become greedy and wanted more adoration, even if it was superficial or surface level.
#long post#fave#y7 spoilers#spoilers#snap chats#god i wish i was better at using WORDS to express myself better so just imagine im eating fiberglass rn thanks#its also grossly ironic how both aoki and daigo become threatened by their most loyal followers for different reasons#mine let his love become lethal meanwhile kume only cared about aoki for his policies#funny how that happens huh. Mine Get Help Challenge you made me compare you to kume mine im so sorry ily#but GOD yeah i could definitely see masato getting pissed at daigo for being his defying worldview#i lie when i say Why Did Masato Reject The Love He Had because unfortunately i understand#i think masato's so indignant because it's a matter of It's Too Good To Be True#trust issues to the max for the past 18 years jesus christ#his condition made him feel isolated but im sure it also made him feel like he was more trouble than he was worth#not that thats true of course- but from his perspective that's probably how he felt#it's apparent during the suzumori cutscene how he demands no one look at him- that he doesnt need help#but thats postulating for another post Back On Topic#maybe daigo's initial loneliness as a kid is what helped him become so charismatic#he's just able to understand what it's like without having a genuine friend- or having incredibly few of them#god the point about daigo's power but not his allies being taken away is a great point too#like aoki cannot win at all in that scenario: daigo is neither alone nor totally defenseless#my brain's going to be eaten by fungus at this point im just rotating all of these points in my mind like a SSBB trophy
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softboiledwonderland · 11 months
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Stayed up late watching the quiz show with my mum and grandma but I went to bed before they did and fell asleep before my husband got back from band practice and STILL I feel sleepy and tired and very uninterested in this particular species of freshwater shrimp they're talking about in the show I'm doing. Literally how did I ever attend all-night music festivals for four nights in a row
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cherrysnax · 2 years
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the cocomelon fandom really didn’t like that post
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dropespeon · 6 days
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another day another post about kaito regretting being kid When will you people understand
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arolesbianism · 20 days
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In other news Odile crashed my game during her friend quest. Smiles in pain.
#rat rambles#stars posting#I just want to get to act 4 alreadyyyyyy#I have. plans.#and while I know theres more stuff I can do rn in act 3 I would rather save most of it for later#anyways. time to hope I saved before starting the family quests#odile saw I was trying to speedrun everyone's dialogue and said nuh uh try again#also Im glad I got the coin scene like the absolute millisecond act 3 started I was worried Id have to sit around for forever#speaking of the coin I got a fun glitch with it earlier#I was near the favor tree and got the coin dialogue where a glitch rewind effect happens#and the tree jumpscared the hell out of me by suddenly getting stretched out and huge covering most of the screen#I had to walk out and back into the are to fix it it covered like half the area#it genuinely slightly scared me for the split second that it wasnt obviously a glitch lol#gotta love the universe breaking itself to try to keep itself together#one thing that did surprise me is just how much optional content I've never seen before there is#I knew there was stuff that most ppl who play the game dont ever see but I guess I forgot most ppl dont obsessively shove their faces into#walls until smth happens#love making my sif grapple with his lost past the absolute millisecond I am allowed to every time a new scene is opened up to me#the lost contry scenes are all easily my favorite scenes in the game and its honestly not even close#theyre both very important to me and also just incredibly well written and interesting#its low key what boosted sif from being a character I have a complicated relationship with to character I adore#to be clear the complicated stuff is all in the rest of the self recognition I face when I see him spiral#you see jackie is recognition through the other (derogatory) but like in a god damnit you have adhd dont you sorta way#while sif is more like. hoo boy. uh oh.#which is ironic because jackie is the one of the two whos actually a terrible person lol#you see I like picking her apart while with sif it feels like theyre picking me apart which is significantly more uncomfortable#I forgives them I just need to not think abt them for too long at any given time or I start feeling depressed lol
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neverendingford · 8 months
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#tag talk#I feel so fucking great today. ironically I'm having trouble getting anything done because I keep just lying down to sigh contentedly#idk. I just feel so genuinely happy.#maybe it has something to do with the smell bout of random depression disappearing at least for now. no longer shitting out my guts either#and also I get to see the cute girl who also likes me back today so that's super pogchamp.#ugh do y'all have any idea how absolutely down bad I am for her??? like. seriously.#I know this won't be a long term thing but damn if I'm not gonna appreciate it for the two years I'm still living in this city.#like. I knew things would get better eventually. I was seventeen and telling myself things would one day be better#sure it's taken eight years but like... fuckin hell I'm self actualizing for real now.#mood stabilizers. adhd meds. hrt. I'm finally able to address the problems I've been battling my whole life.#and moving out from my parents has given me the freedom to figure shit out apart from the situation that's been fucking me up all my life#I just. fucking hell this is so nice.#YOOO I HAVE JIGGLY CALF MUSCLES AGAIN HELL YEAH#I've been a little wasted away for the past year but I've started working out again since since got adhd meds and damn#I don't like being so awfully skinny so it's nice to have curves and slight jiggles on my body again#calf muscles my beloved#I'm learning to love my arm muscles but I've always loved my leg muscles. partially I think cause leg muscles are associated with feminine#whereas arm muscles are culturally seen as masculine. so that kind of got embedded in my brain growing up. but I'm learning to love both#I also just love my body working like it's supposed to. the joy of a well oiled machine doing what it should.#ofc it's not always consistent. but it's nice when it's working as it should#also I bought a wireless charger for my phone since the charging port got even more fucked up and now barely works at all#so honestly that lifted a pretty big stressor off my mind since phone dying is a huge problem and a new phone is expensive#so I'm feeling more carefree with that at least temporarily fixed. won't have to worry about my phone again for prolly at least another year
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