#if anything gay women have the opposite problem

[likealittleheartbeat]

“Sexual desire is not the only dimension of the homosexual experience, but it is the core of that experience. It is sexual desire and acting upon that desire that puts the homosexual into conflict with dominant power structures. It is where we must begin. How does one dramatize homosexual desire? Can one represent desire without words? One can ‘force on’ the audience sexual acts, kissing, embracing, looking. Or one can enact those opposites which have also been central to the experience of many homosexuals: not looking, not kissing, not embracing. Or one can enact the cause of these negations: heterosexism, which can be dramatized by acts of brutality, acts that sometimes result from the negation of one’s homosexual desire.

One of the more interesting aspects of homophobia is, as Richard Mohr points out: “People in general find gay love—kisses of parting at the train station and the like—sicker even than gay sex.” The sight of two men kissing on the lips can evoke enormous fear and hostility in some audience members. Anyone who sat in a movie theater when Peter Finch and Murray Head kissed in Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971), or Michael Cane and Christopher Reeve kissed on Deathtrap (1982), or when Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean kissed in Making Love (1982), will remember the audible, hostile response such images provoked. Everyone knows that sex between men happens, but the sight of two men kissing is often seen as a transgression of the gender order, taken by many to be ‘natural.’ A kiss is a sign of affection, of love, not merely of lust. A kiss, to paraphrase the old song, isn’t just a kiss. Hence it’s theatrical power.”

—John M. Chum, Still Acting Gay

[nevertheless-moving]

“The other day,” Skar added, “he was talking about what he’s doing there. It sounded an awful lot like he was learning how to read.” The men shifted uncomfortably. “So?” Kaladin asked. “What’s the problem? Sigzil can read his own language. Storms, I can read glyphs.” “It’s not the same,” Skar said. “It’s feminine,” Drehy added. “Drehy,” Kaladin said, “you are literally courting a man.” “So?” Drehy said. “Yeah, what are you saying, Kal?” Skar snapped. “Nothing! I just thought Drehy might empathize.…” “That’s hardly fair,” Drehy said. “Yeah,” Lopen added. “Drehy likes other guys. That’s like … he wants to be even less around women than the rest of us. It’s the opposite of feminine. He is, you could say, extra manly.”

Different possible explanations for this scene, to be taken up depending on which headcanon would be the funniest for a given fic:

While being gay is more broadly acceptable than being unmanly, conflating gender roles with sexuality is not uncommon; the other guys have just gotten more than one drunken lecture from Drehy about how he hates being treated womanly just because he likes dick. Kaladin was obviously working those nights.

Under Vorinism, Gender roles are rigid, but a range of sexualities are perfectly fine. The ardent who visited Kaladin's hometown was just a freak who hated gay people so much it was unreal, and took great pains to explain to the boys of this isolated rural town the unhinged idea that marrying a man was OBVIOUSLY womanly and therefore Bad. He mostly unlearned that shit after joining the army but is a bit confused. It doesn't come up often.

There was one (1) elderly queer couple in heartstone growing up, and one of the men was super gnc, which made people uncomfortable but his parents always told him that you shouldn't shame people for harmless joy. so, yeah, Kaladin just sort of figured that in a relationship between guys, one of them is the woman. He assumes Renarin is gay and I mean. He's not wrong. Part of the reason he never accepted friendly offers of soldier companionship. Not that there's anything wrong with it. He never asked Drehy who was who, because its none of his business and he didn't want to know.

the only times Kaladin has personally ever noticed being attracted to another man is when the guy was doing something womanly. Is it a kink? Is it an extremely dense man needing someone to stand on top of clearly marked social signposts and wave their arms for him to even register them as a sexual being? who knows! not Kaladin! he doesn't have time to unpack any of that. anyway he assumed that all same sex attraction worked the same way and obviously never actually talked about it with a living person. actually I'm expanding this to cover all of Kaladin's sexuality just to make him extra stupid. first time he noticed Tarah was when she punched a dude.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Aaron Kimberly

Published: Dec 18, 2021

Between 1995-2006 I was a part of the butch lesbian community. During those years, despite my life-long and sometimes intense gender dysphoria, I hadn’t given any serious thought to medically transitioning. It wasn’t even on my radar as a possibility until after 2000. The idea of medically transitioning seemed fringe, far-fetched, and risky.

Most of the butches I knew also had gender dysphoria (GD) or rather, Gender Identity Disorder (GID), as it was called then. Many butches I knew in Winnipeg, Halifax, Toronto, and later Vancouver, were strong, stoic people. I admired many of them. I know that their lives weren’t always easy, but they carried themselves with dignity. They had butch “brotherhood” and femmes who adored them. Many were “stone” which meant that their GID made it difficult for them to relate to their female anatomy so didn’t allow themselves to be touched by anyone, or rarely. They were often harassed and abused for being masculine women, as I was. It was often stressful using female public washrooms, because our gender ambiguity made people so uncomfortable. There was a term “butch bladder” to reference the ways we’d avoid using bathrooms in public.

In the early-mid 2000s, more and more FTMs were appearing in the community, alongside the butches. Many lesbian spaces welcomed them, some didn’t. It seemed to me at the time that butches were presented with two options: we could choose to be butches, or we could choose to be FTM “trans guys”. Why people chose one or the other...that was very individual and personal. It really came down to which option solved a problem and made life easier. The problem could be homophobic parents, fatigue from being harassed, differing degrees of dysphoria and bodily discomfort, not understanding what GID is, poor social or occupational functioning, trauma, other mental health challenges like depression or the anxiety that seemed inevitable for us. Some transitioned but still identified as butch women. They chose medical interventions to look more masculine, not to identify as men. Some trans guys said they never had GID at all. I don’t know what their motivations for transitioning were. Some said “political reasons”. There were some who were big fans of Queer Theory icons like Judith Butler and Judith Halberstam. Those women adopted male personas - intentional “female masculinity” - as an expression of Queer Theory, not to be men/male. I chose to transition soon after a gay man was beaten to death in a nearby park.

If kids with gender dysphoria today are anything like who we were 20 years ago, I feel saddened by their trajectory. Others see benefits: Access to medical interventions has been made easier. They no longer have to do a “real-life test” (live their life as the opposite sex for 2 years without medical assistance). They don’t have to go through months or years of therapy and assessment. More is now known about the effects and risks of hormones. The surgeries have improved, are easier to access and now paid for by insurance. (I paid for my own mastectomy out of pocket, and was on the SRS surgery waitlist for 10 years.)

But, what have we done? Have we eliminated all of the conditions for why a butch girl would find their innate masculinity hard to live with? Have we made the lives of butch women better and safer? Have we eliminated homophobic families, communities, employers, clinicians and policies? Are we educating young people what gender dysphoria is, in evidence-based terms, supporting them to integrate that into a healthy identity and self-image? Do we tell masculine girls how attractive they are? Do they have an abundance of healthy role models? Are they fully embraced and integrated into their workforces, educational settings, faith communities… or, are butches still getting weird looks from strangers? Are they still getting yelled at in public bathrooms? Are young, obnoxious young men still yelling slurs out their car windows as they drive by a butch woman? Do gender non-conforming women still fear for their lives in some places? Can they get Brandon Teena out of their heads? Can they travel the world freely? Can they find clothing they like that fits their bodies well?

I’m not convinced we’ve made any real progress at all. I think we’ve just made it easier for people to jump ship, younger and faster, and gave it a different spin. We now call that “self-actualization”. We’ve facilitated a better illusion. We’ve convinced more and more people that the illusion is real. We continue to push for better surgeries. Penile and uterine transplants are on the horizon. Young people are flooding into clinics. They can’t keep up with the demand. Activists have pushed Queer Theory as an explanation for our difference, displacing evidence-based clinical definitions of GID/GD. It’s no longer talked about as a condition that requires treatment but a natural human variation that requires affirmation in whatever form we demand (often life-long medicalization). I’ve travelled that road to its end, and its hurt just as much as it’s helped.

The surgeries available to FTMs right now are awful. A double mastectomy and phalloplasty or metoidioplasty are gruesome procedures to go through. The US surgeon I went to for metoidioplasty boasts low complication rates, but the anecdotal evidence I’ve witnessed (myself and everyone I know who had the procedure there and elsewhere) is close to a 100% complication rate. One guy at the surgical recovery centre I stayed at started to hemorrhage and was laying on the floor unable to reach the call bell when another FTM patient found him and advocated for him to be rushed to hospital. Fistulas and strictures are the most common problem. I chose metoidioplasty because it’s thought to be the less risky of the two options. I immediately developed two large fistulas (meaning that my urethra burst open in two places) that needed additional surgery to repair. I couldn’t bathe or go swimming for a year until those openings were repaired. I have chronic perineum pain, altered bowel function due to changes in my pelvic muscles, and no sensation in most of my chest. When we have complications, local physicians and surgeons don’t know what to do. So we have to wait, and travel to whoever can help.

Listen, I don’t doubt that sometimes medical transition is helpful for people. It’s not my place to say they can’t or shouldn’t. But let’s not sell this like it’s a Disney park ride. The marketing of everything trans is ridiculously misleading. Don’t put sparkles and rainbows over real pain as though that helps at all. It’s insulting.

If we really want to help these kids, we need to make it easier for lesbian kids. Butch kids. All gender non-conforming kids. The quirky and awkward kids. Kids who feel they don’t fit it. Let’s get better at working with parents and preserving families. Be honest about what medical transition is really about. No one really changes biological sex and these procedures are really hard to go through. Why are we putting all of our resources into escaping brutality rather than eliminating brutality? We’re cutting up our bodies because our lived reality is worse. Why do we celebrate that?

Medical transition is but one option for those with GD. We need to reclaim our understanding of GD as a condition so that we can have reality based-conversations and solve real personal and social problems. “Trans” as a concept, masks many underlying issues. A queer theory-based understanding of myself worsened my GD. Medical transition became an addiction. The illusion only works if we’re lucky enough to pass and everyone else plays along perfectly. It’s an exhausting game of whack-a-mole to dodge the reminders of my female past and female biology. How is that kind of dissociation desirable? Some people may benefit from medically transitioning, but we still need a reality-based understanding of ourselves, to keep our feet on the ground.

Our children deserve better. If this sounds transphobic to you, you’re a part of the problem. Owning our reality for what it is isn’t self-hatred. It’s self-acceptance. Having different ideas and a different vision of how to move forward isn't hatred. Hatred was the skinheads who circled around us at the small 1992 Winnipeg gay and lesbian march, long before Pride was a parade. Hatred was the men who drove from the suburbs into Vancouver with the intent to "kill a fag" and murdered Aaron Webster in Stanley Park. I’m well acquainted with phobia. This isn't phobia. This is love.

[writing-for-life]

“M/M Ships Smash The Patriarchy”—But Do They?

Little disclaimer first: I don’t have a problem with m/m fics or art, quite the opposite. I’m a bisexual woman, I can find the idea of m/f, f/f and m/m interesting and yes, sexually arousing (each for different reasons though). And I’m saying this so explicitly because the idea that women need to engage in mental gymnastics to justify m/m ships is relevant to this post.

So please don’t take this personally if you like m/m, especially not if what I write very obviously doesn’t apply to you. This also has nothing to do with shipping m/m as a queer person, because the context invariably changes in most cases. This post is exclusively about the “justification” of m/m ships as something that “smashes the patriarchy”.

With that out of the road:

I’ve seen so many posts stating that m/m ships are removing “the whiff of patriarchy from fandom”. That the same dynamics would be problematic in a m/f or f/f ship, but they’re less “harmful” in a m/m ship.

And yes, of course women have been bearing the brunt of these objectifying dynamics since the beginning of time, totally true. But here’s the thing:

a) Problematic dynamics are okay to explore (not necessarily to condone, they are two different things) in fanfiction; it’s happened for as long as fanfiction (no, fiction) exists. We could go off on a whole tangent about what’s “problematic” (or not) in fiction now, and I’m not overly keen on that term, but it’d lead too far because we’d need to talk about a lot of stuff that’s not really the topic of this post.

b) Problematic dynamics don’t magically change because you apply them to a m/m ship, especially if you’re a (straight) woman heavily projecting onto characters. If there’s an age gap, it stays an age gap. If there are power imbalances, they stay power imbalances. If there’s violence/objectification/whatever else going on IT STAYS THAT. The mental leap from, “Men in m/f relationships are often, either consciously or subconsciously through what society condones, the perpetrator in that particular dynamic,” to “that’s why it’s not a problem in m/m relationships,” honesty baffles me.

So my question is:

If you want to remove the “problematic whiff of patriarchy from fandom”, but you are ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY centering two MEN in your fics, art and what you consume, are you really doing that? Where are the protagonist WOMEN that are written or portrayed in a way that isn’t patriarchal?

Too much of a stretch?

Why bring in “the patriarchy” (or whatever other justification) instead of just saying you like the idea of two men getting it on, and that you project on at least one, if not both of them? And I know many women are honest about this, so this is obviously not aimed at them.

And I’m not writing this in a vacuum—there are endless posts about exactly this, and quite frankly:

It is actually patriarchal and misogynistic to deny women the right to just feel horny when they read about/look at two guys fucking. Without justifying it in any way, or making it about something that feels performative (“We like the m/m ship because we’re queer-positive feminists”. Please…). That, right there, is internalised misogyny:

Women don’t need to morally justify their horniness. They don’t need to justify whatever they’re into and turn it into a performative event. They’re just allowed to like it as is. The end.

Why not just like what we like while still critically engaging with the question whether some of what we read and create is potentially fetishising gay/queer men instead of calling it “feminist and queer-positive”?

Because let’s face it: Straight women who ship m/m don’t like gay men because they’re gay. They like them because they project a straight woman on a gay persona that has nothing to do with actually being gay (just like most lesbian porn never had anything to do with being created for lesbians, or f/f relationships in books written by men were always serving the male gaze, but it’s easier to holler about that, right?):

At least one of them is the guy you fancy (sometimes both of them are), and sometimes one of them is (at least partly) you. It has always worked like that and always will.

But back to the main topic of “smashing the patriarchy”: We are talking about fanfiction and fanart here. YOU create it. It’s not the adult entertainment industry making billions that throws it at you. You are the CREATORS and CONSUMERS. You get to CHOOSE. And yes, that choice can absolutely be a m/m ship if that’s what you want. Again, there’s no problem with that.

But if your main argument is that you want content without the stench of patriarchy, how about actually centering women in it, at least from time to time?

[shrimpmandan]

It's always been so weird to me that people are all about ideas such as "language is made up, words evolve, everyone has a unique sexuality!" when it comes to lesbians and asexuals, but when it comes to bisexuality, the conversation suddenly becomes "actually this term has a rigid definition and if you identify with it, you're transphobic and behind the times"

And like, bi history is a massive interest for me, right? I'm not gonna claim to be a historian, but the amount of people who say shit about bisexuality that's just plain incorrect is insane.

Bisexuals have always shared spaces, terms, and community with lesbians and gays. Many bisexuals called themselves lesbian or gay prior to coming out, and many of them hold onto both labels-- thus bi lesbians and bi gays. Hell, I fucking identify as bisexual and gay simultaneously. I think I always have. The fact that I would only get significant flack for this if I was a bisexual woman identifying simultaneously as a lesbian is fucking insane. "Dyke" and "fag" and everything in-between has always been inclusive of bisexuals. Bisexual butches, femmes, twinks, bears, and everything in-between have always existed.

Bisexuality has MULTIPLE definitions. Not just historically, but person-to-person. I know bisexuals who are attracted to people regardless of gender or sex. I know bisexuals who only date cis men or cis women. I know bisexuals who have fucked women but only date men and vice-versa. I know bisexuals who have even more esoteric and specific orientations, such as only dating men and trans women, or only dating women and trans men. And regardless of how you feel about any of those, they are still bisexuals. Those are still forms of bisexuality. It is an orientation that is inherently varied, and has become increasingly so as the arbitrary, rigid lines between male and female have been weathered by the sands of change.

Hell, people LOVE that one post about a bi trans man identifying as both a butch lesbian and a gay man-- and I get it. I could never personally-- it'd make me VERY dysphoric-- but I never much cared for the dynamics of opposite sex relationships. It's something that's very awkward to navigate as a bi trans person. Subconsciously, I've always entered same-gender relationships. Back when I still identified as a bi woman, I dated and preferred women. Now, as a bi man, I largely date and prefer men. And yet, being aspec, I'm also indifferent to most people sexually. Simultaneously, everyone is hot and everyone is meh. Not repulsive, just meh. It's a weird reality to live. Effectively, I fuck or date people regardless of gender. If I'm feeling fancy, I define my bisexuality as being attracted to both types of sex characteristics regardless of their configuration-- explicitly inclusive of intersex and trans people.

And yet people still refuse the variance of the bi experience, whether it's bisexuality as neutrality, bisexuality as "every relationship I'm in is gay", bisexuality as in "I don't even really think about the gender/sex of who I'm attracted to", or anything in-between. Bisexuality is oversimplified as "attracted to two or more genders", or "attracted to both genders/sexes", as if those definitions fully encapsulate the bi experience when they don't. Plenty of bisexuals absolutely fit into those two definitions, but to act as if ALL of us do, to deny the rich history and variance of bisexuality, has been a deep-rooted and recurring problem that loves rearing its ugly head every damn year.

Happy Pride Month.

[judethejudas]

How they would react to you being trans— MW2 Headcanons

This includes all types of trans— so trans women, men, non binary (which would require much more explaining to the boys). Also it’s okay to not want to take hormones or do surgeries, it does not make you less of who you are. It’s just for the headcanons, my loves.

Ghost:

- He’s silent the whole time you’re coming out to him

- He just stares at you, with so many thoughts in his mind.

- Of course he knew trans people existed but he never figured you’d be one of them.

- You were already on hormones but not the surgeries, which made sense to him now because you always avoided the showers with everybody and preferred covering up.

- Ghost covered up quite a bit too so he felt closer to you in that way. That you both valued your privacy.

- He realized now it was because you didn’t have much of a choice. Even though he couldn’t have known, he felt guilty for it.

- He caught onto the pain in your eyes as you explained that your transition wasn’t easy. You lost friends, family, people you really cared about.

- “All because you were trans?” He couldn’t believe it honestly. That someone would break a bond because you wanted to be yourself.

- He put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “This doesn’t change anything between us and if anyone has a problem with it, you come to me. Is that clear?”

- You brushed the tears off your cheeks and nodded, before Ghost sent you off to do something productive.

Soap:

- He’s quite shocked when you tell him and he doesn’t make much of an effort to hide it.

- You’re transgender? How? How does that work? Do you mean you’re going to transition into the opposite gender?

- He’s not stupid but he’s confused. Our confused ally.

- You had to explain to him that you already did years ago but didn’t have the surgeries, which is why you covered up a lot.

- “I thought you and ghost were just starting a little club getting all cozied up like that.” He’s so puzzled and asking a lot of questions, like how your voice sounds like that and how this happened.

- The only letters this man knew of the lgbtq2s+ community is gay and lesbian.

- You explained hormones to him and he was just blown away.

- Then you started talking about how unsupportive people have been to you and he felt terrible.

- “I’m not like that, am I?” You reassured him immediately that he was not and he was relieved. He had grown to like you on his team, how you two bickered and joked with each other on missions— especially when you two ganged up on Ghost.

- “You’re definitely gonna have to run it by me a few times but I got your back, (y/n).”

Captain Price:

- I ain’t gonna lie to you, this man?? Is all kinds of phobic. He’s old, he can’t help it.

- He had taken a liking to you as time went on and you proved yourself to be a valuable member of the team.

- So when you came out to him, it was just pure shock. He didn’t know what to do or say. Suddenly everything had changed. About you.

- He was taught not to respect members of the lgbtq2s+ by his family and grew up with that mindset. He knew every slur in the book.

- But you being one of them? He couldn’t fathom it. But he also couldn’t bring himself to hate you.

- You explained to him how you were alienated and hated ever since you came out, so you found a family when you joined task 141.

- He felt horrible now.

- To anyone else, he could be bitter about it and he wouldn’t feel one ounce of guilt. But not to you. This was you.

- “Alright look, I can’t say I understand.. this. I’ll need time to process it since I was raised differently, but I’m not gonna throw ya out..”

- You were happy he was willing to put aside his prejudice for you, but you did need to correct him on a few terms that weren’t horrifically transphobic or homophobic.

- You, Ghost, and Soap end up giving him the nickname of Captain Pride, absolutely bombarding this old man until he’s had enough and making you all scrub toilets.

_______

I seriously doubt Ghost and Soap would be assholes about reader being trans. I just don’t see them caring that much other than asking a few questions, but Price? 😭

[eds6ngel]

beth!!! I saw your post about Robin finding out that the reader is bisexual, do you think you could do the same except put Eddie in Robin's place??? sorry if i misspell a word, english is not my language 😅

of course i can honey!! and by the way, your english is great <33

warnings: fem!reader. pre-established relationship. pet names. swearing. mentions of homophobia. eddie being an ally. coming out. one mention of sex. comfort. fluff. both r and eddie are 20 [0.9k].

You and Eddie had been together since your junior year. You were both pathetically in love with each other, extremely open and no conversation was ever off the table. Which meant you allowed Eddie to talk about girls he found attractive, whether that be out in public or through the form of a celebrity. You trusted him with your life that he would never leave you, and coming up to three years going strong, it seemed that you were correct to make that assumption.

Eddie was on his third attempt of senior year, him afraid that his inability to grasp the education system would encourage you to leave him, but you did the exact opposite. You loved him to pieces, no amount of the flawed academic structure would change your mind about that. Even you didn’t take the formal route of college, your dream of becoming a writer meaning that no amount of student debt would improve the skills you had built up in your life. And Eddie supported your career choice, you spending your free time working on your latest book whilst working at a local bakery to help the Munsons pay their bills, you moving in with them shortly after you graduated high school.

However, there’s one topic that never got brought up, because in all honesty, you never thought it needed to be. You had been struggling to grasp your sexuality since you were a child, constantly flicking back and forth between men and women, society pressuring you to choose one, even if one of the options got you berated.

Luckily one day, you came across the term bisexuality, liking men and women, and everything fell into place. But, when Eddie would point out the hot women on the TV screen, you couldn’t help but shrivel up in your seat, knowing that you too found them attractive in the same way he did, not just in an admirable way like he assumed.

The constant agreements of “Mhmm, she’s pretty,” whenever Eddie would focus on Phoebe Cates would rip you apart, when on the inside you were screaming, “She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in my life.”

So, when Eddie decided to rent out a movie called “Desert Hearts,” a story about a female New York professor who falls for another woman whilst staying on a ranch, your heart couldn’t help but flutter. You had an idea he was accepting, Eddie not making any fuss when two boys got outed as gay at Hawkins High, but this was your full confirmation that he had the same attitude towards gay men and gay women.

“I can’t believe this is what people have a problem with,” Eddie complains, “I mean, Back to the Future had Marty find his own mom hot, but suddenly two women falling in love is the worst thing in the world.”

“You don’t mind?” you ask, curled up to Eddie’s chest as he strokes your hair.

“Not only do I not mind sweetheart, I really don’t care,” he admits, “Like, why in the hell would I care if two women are kissing, or cuddling, or even sleeping together for that matter? It’s not my life, and personally… I get it. Like, women are hot, I understand.”

You slightly laugh, nibbling at your fingernails in nervousness as Eddie looks down at you, “Why? Do you have a problem with it?”

“No, not at all… The complete opposite actually,” you purse your lips and frown, “Baby, can I tell you something?”

“Of course princess, anything you want.”

You sigh out, sitting up as you admit your deepest secret that you’ve ever kept hidden from him, “I like women too…”

He remains silent for a minute, letting out a quiet “Oh,” as you don’t look at each other, the both of you afraid of what the other will think. There’s one thing saying it, but when you are faced with it in reality, you can change your mind. You trusted Eddie with your life, but there was something inside of you afraid that, that could happen.

“Well… I’m proud of you for telling me sweetheart,” he says softly, “I can’t lie that after all these years, it does sting a little, but I hope you find the girl for you.”

You brows furrow in confusion, before you click on what you said, “Wait, baby, baby,” you shake your head, chuckling at your own words, a sense of embarrassment flooding your head, “I meant I like women too, as in, as well as men.”

“Oh,” he exclaims, breathing out and letting his head fall into your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your middle as he laughs, yours playing with the hairs at the back of his head. “Jesus fucking Christ sweetheart, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

He lifts his head up, you placing your hands on his cheeks, “I’m sorry,” you quietly say, “But, yeah… That’s not a problem… is it?”

He lifts his eyebrows and snorts, “You still like men, you still like me, so… I think we’re okay,” he smiles, chuckling and leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips, one that you gladly return.

“But…” he starts, “You know… if you really are just exclusively into women, you can tell me. Will it hurt like a bitch? Yes. But, in all honesty babe, it’s probably the best way to get broken up with,” he softly laughs.

“I promise you, I find both men and women extremely attractive. And out of everyone in the world, you rank the top of that list,” you flirt, Eddie slightly blushing as he presses a kiss to your neck, hugging you once again, the pair of you separating to shift into your previous comfy position.

“Okay, but now I have to ask,” he says, “Phoebe Cates is hot, right?”

You grin up at him, biting your lip, “So fucking hot.”

this was a lil short one, but i hope you enjoyed regardless!! <33

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP. I have a question running through my mind lately, and I think it’s a little bit stupid, a little bit legit. I read your thoughts and like your opinions. I think you’re one of the best people who could answer, if not the most appropriate one. Sorry if it sounds dumb, tho.

I’ve been into kpop for a while, now. I can’t say i know the way it works, i can’t say i’m a master of it. But i notice things. I notice the big big impact fanservice has in the industry, for example. It’s literally fundamental. There are a few few companies with sex-mixed groups. Put them apart, the majority are same sex groups. Because with opposite genders in the same group there could be problems, unease, relationships etc.

Then they push same sex fantasies with fanservice and amplified skinship (already present in Korea). And until this point, everything is normal. I mean, we know things work this way.

But here i already notice a controversy. Homophobia is present and rooted in Korea and in the industry, but still they push gay narratives/don’t do anything to debunk them. So they try to “feed” everyone, people who like gay scenarios/moments included.

Then i think about girl groups. Twice, black pink. There’s a lot of explicit touching, explicit affirmations (i like you, your body is stunning, let’s go on a date, you make me blush etc). There’s in bts too, the guys did some nasty things too on cameras, i know. But with girl groups, you can easily notice it’s made up for the cameras but it still happens, and unless i’m missing it, i never saw someone hating or heavily hating on members because of it. Because of some easily misunderstanable sentences/acts.

The same goes for boy groups. I’m thinking of ateez. On of the members (i’m not into them so i don’t know his name) loudly read a comment saying “marry (insert another member’s name)”. And he said “you want me to marry *? You know it’s illegal here”. Then i’m thinking of enyphen, again, i’m not into them, but i saw this clip of two members going live and reading comments about them being a couple/being romantically involved. Shipping.

I’m sorry this is gonna be a long one, but before making my point i need to say these things.

Then we have Somi. She explicitly said she has a lot of women flirting with her, and she said she wants to conquer women too. She said she likes Han SoHee and dmed her on insta, but she didn’t reply. She even kissed Hyuna in a video posted on the internet less than a month ago.

Then we have Bibi. She kisses girl fans during her concerts and pictures of it are shared everywhere. She’s still famous, all of these people i’m mentioning are famous, are known, are in the korean spotlight, more or less. And their careers are not fucked up. Sometimes it’s fanservice, some others it’s who they are. Somi really likes women too, imo, and Bibi as well.

I get that for women it might be easier. There’s a group (a big group) of people who prefers gay interactions between women than gay interactions between men. They find it pleasing, and it’s an homophobic, toxic masculinity and women fetishization related preference.

But still, most people are fine with it. Yeah someone probably criticized it, probably hated on them because of these behaviours, but at the end of the day everything is fine for them.

I’m thinking about J-Hope too, who has gay friends and publicly shares pictures with them. He even visited a gay club and, again, probably some people criticized him for it and i’m just not on that side of the internet and the fandom, but at the end of the day his career is not gonna end because of it. Most People are fine with that too. He wears nail polish, tae does too. Can you imagine Jm or Jk doing that publicly? The hate they’d get? Maybe i’m wrong and it wouldn’t be like that; but that’s how i feel.

Then i think about Holland. His coming out had a huge impact on his career, his life. The aggressions he was victim of; his music not being so followed and famous, probably also because of said coming out.

I think about every kpop artist who is closeted and can’t say it. I think about Jikook, about Jimin who had to “play” with colors, lyrics, temporary tattoos and playful interviews (such as the “I think he likes men-> I don’t like you” one) in order to silently whisper that he’s not straight. That there’s more he can’t show.

And then Jikook in general. They could never afford to do what ateez and enhypen did. Never, bpp. We know that. So why?

Why is there this difference, why is it so… difficult for me to get how this works. Why can they do it, but Jikook can’t? But bts can’t? Why is there a limit for some idols, and some others are almost completely free? What am I missing?

I hope my question is clear, bpp. I really do, because i feel like i made a mess here all over the place. I’m sorry about it, thank you for reading this, if you did.

I appreciate you🫶

***

Hi Anon,

Don’t apologize.

So if I’m reading this right, you’re asking why the reaction to jikook showing queer expression is so much more negative than you see it for anyone else / other duos and groups?

Or, maybe quoting you is better:

“And then Jikook in general. They could never afford to do what ateez and enhypen did. Never, bpp. We know that. So why?”

I’m not sure if what I’ll say will make sense, and this might seem silly, but I think one reason jikook/BTS appear to have fewer liberties on things like explicit/overt shows of love/attraction between them, even under the umbrella of ‘fan service’ and compared to other groups, is because BTS is the biggest group in the world. Just by virtue of the group’s prominence, BTS being very closely tied with several government appointments and massive brands in Korea (Samsung and Hyundai)… there’s a greater expectation of conformity for them compared to other groups. There’s just more at stake for them.

I mean, do you recall the lead up to the enlistment news? How people were picking them apart, people who didn’t think they should be exempt where digging into their old footage trying to find anything to turn public opinion against the group. It was kinda crazy. In that sort of environment and in any case, the prudent thing would be to wait till after military service to expect more freedom in expression for a boy group. And perhaps that’s what we’ll see with jikook and BTS in general come 2026.

But also, the thing is, jikook have still been quite loud… in some ways even louder than Somi’s declarations (but certainly not Holland’s and the cost to him and any openly gay artist is apparent to see). GCF in Tokyo is so loud, it couldn’t be louder if JK got a megaphone, climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower and screamed that he loves Jimin in the four cardinal directions. No matter what anybody says about GCF in Tokyo, that video itself is very clear and it says it all.

Then there’s the gesture of Jimin flying from Paris to Korea just to spend some time with Jungkook on his birthday, and then more recently, flying to NYC to be with JK during Seven debut. There’s the way their families treat them both. There’s that OT7 live where Jimin kept one half of his body literally glued to Jungkook’s on the couch, hooking his arms to keep their thighs together that not even air could pass between them. Then there’s fucking Rosebowl, pardon my French.

Like, even with all the scrutiny, jikook have still been able to say what they actually want about what they each mean to each other. Jimin is usually private and careful with how he speaks in general, he’s not the kind of person to talk the way Somi did about anything, really. So expecting a similar level and style of communication/queer expression, for jikook compared to these other people, really isn’t fair to Jimin or Jungkook to begin with, I think.

It’s totally okay if as a fan you’d like to see more open, simple and consistent expressions of queerness the way we have it in OnlyOneOf, Ateez, Bibi, etc. Those groups are made in some ways precisely to scratch that itch. It’s good the way they talk about queer attraction draws you in or resonates with you, but I’m not sure it’s fair to expect other people, in this case jikook and/or BTS, to express their relationship and queer feelings the same way.

If you’re approaching this solely from the point of concern for jikook, I totally get it. Korea is very homophobic. But within their immediate team, I hope and trust they are surrounded by more good people than bad, people who will aim to protect the queer members. There’s no use worrying about this for long, since they’ll just have to learn to take care of themselves.

I could’ve totally missed your question or what you’re actually asking, Anon. If so let me know. But the above is also what I think.

[royal-phoenix]

Heya! Not trying to be mean or spread hate but I looked through your reblogs because I saw people saying some pretty mean stuff about you in a comment section and got curious. You mainly reblogs things about the LGBTQ+ community, which I myself am a part of. You've been saying some pretty crude and homophobic things and I want to know why. I find that this is the opposite of what the community's whole goal is; the acceptance and support of those who are different. You even called people who gave asks about what you did and why 'retards'. You even called yourself a Superior being?

im not trying to spark arguments or anything, but why? Is it because you are religious and believe that even though the god in the Bible loves and accepts all, he doesn't support those who don't feel attraction to those of the opposite sex? People who have and spread opinions like you typically say that gay relationships aren't natural. But it is. Completely natural, actually. Hell, animals even get into gay relationships all the time, and they rely purely on natural instinct. It's beautiful. Maybe you just believe women were made for men to help men and that we should stick to the opposite gender.

I just want to know why you say these things about the LGBTQ+ community. Until you respond, I wish you a good day.

No problem. I am always willing to discuss anything with anyone. And I merely treat people how they treat me - if you're respectful to me I shall be to you.

Now, show any post from me on which I have been homophobic. If you can back up your claim I shall apologise.

[degenderates]

What would almost-terf talking points look like? Genuinely curious because I never see stuff like that, though I may just not be aware of it. Thank you in advance ❤️

hey! no worries, it takes a lot of being on the internet (unfortunately lol) to notice the patterns of how online terfs talk about gender and make their stuff palatable for the masses, so here are a few pointers. keep in mind that people who post this kind of rhetoric aren't always terfs and you should be skeptical of ANYBODY who tells you that there are a complete set of "rules" you must follow or subjects you must avoid. think for yourself, but also be careful. with that being said, here are some things i've noticed after being on the trans internet for a few years:

1- "radfem"/"radfem-safe"/"radblr"/etc. usually they're a terf they just dont want to add the te- to the acronym. funny thing is they're not all that radical lol.

2- gender essentialism. this is one of the most insidious i think, because it's so well disguised, or simply poised as common sense. this can include anything about men and women being inherently different, whether this is about sexual violence, sexuality in general (including types of queerness), love, understanding/intuition/empathy, certain skills, whatever. sometimes it's just a joke but be careful because humor is a form of persuasion as well, just easily able to avoid blame. the reason why gender essentialism is terfy is because it posits that gender is immutable. ie. can't change. women are inherently like this, so someone who identifies as a man now will never get it, even if they end up being trans later. though some of these takes might have an addendum of, "trans women are women" or something like that, supposedly being inclusive of trans ppl, they don't account for people who aren't secretly eggs their whole lives. sure, a transfem who always knew she was a girl might be "included," but not a trans person who lived as their agab for their first 20, 30, or even 40 years. etc. tldr: this kind of rhetoric reveals how people truly feel about gender difference regardless of what they claim to support.

3- "male/female socialization." this one's tricky because yes we as humans in a society are socialized and yes that includes gender (which is a social construct in and of itself), but the vast majority of times i've seen this phrasing used is by terfs, so much so that if trans people want to talk about gender socialization, we have to use other terminology. the problem here is that folks' "current" gender is considered null and void due to how they were raised. this one is sort of the opposite of the phenomenon of "including" trans people in gender essentialism--it blocks us out from our actual gender in favor of seeing us as what we once were.

4- a weird fascination with militant genetalia. urls or bios that include stuff about vaginas and cunts killing people or whatever...i'm not against this, but most people who have this on their blog are terfs lol. aside from the jokes, people who see phallic imagery as something inherently violent or the penis as a body part as violent instead of like, the person as violent (if they are) is a big one. i guess the militant vagina is like reclaiming this somehow. i'm not sure. but it's a thing.

5- gatekeeping queerness. people who try to limit queerness to being lesbian/gay/bisexual, acephobes, arophobes, people who have this very basic understanding of queerness as same-sex attraction. sometimes they hate the word "queer." people who don't understand queerness as a culture and a way to play with gender and identity and presentation as well as sexuality, or as a political entity. queerness isn't just about being gay or straight. now not all acephobes are terfs, but because terfs have admitted to using acephobia to induct people into being radfems, and most terfs are acephobic....well. that's just one example, of course, but the point stands. anyone attempting to divide the queer community is inherently sus to me.

and finally, 6- if you download shinigami eyes, people marked as terfs show up in red. be careful because sometimes people mark others as red out of malintent, but if the person is showing other signs of being a terf and is red, they probably are one, lol. hope this helps, and other people feel free to add on! as always, take my post as just the observations of one individual, as a grain of salt!

[confessions-official]

i get stupidly annoyed when people in fandom headcanon a character as gay/lesbian when in canon they have a partner who they LOVE that was opposite gender, and then they gat mad when you point out that bisexuals exist?? like this one character had a husband and she went on about how she LOVED him before he died, he was everything to her, she says to another male character that he's the only man she's trusted other than her husband and people wanna call her comphet cause apparently they can't fathom a mean non girly woman being anything but a lesbian apparently. A male character dated 2 women, was in LOVE with one of them, he had a thing with another male character (i think in game they were meant to be gay but i dont think that got very far, so they just have a lot on Vibes between them) and people also wanna claim that he's gay and not bi . Karlach and Astarion from BG3 are also a problem apparently, both a bi/pan (astarion can fuck both genders in canon outside of your main character, not sure about karlach) and people still wanna sit there a complain that the hot muscly woman isnt a lesbian and that the flamboyant sexual man isnt gay??? Like i get that gay/lesbian rep is hard to find but yall think the bi rep is that much easier??? I hate the bi erasure, the pretending that being bi isnt gay enough that bi people and bi sexuality arent a thing that people even consider, it happens way too often for it not to be people internalized biphobia and im so sick of feeling like a moron for getting upset over that.

.

[genderflu1dwh0r]

Tori had been dating this guy, Chris. He was an average guy, he often bought Tori flowers. He thought he knew her so well, he never thought he was wrong about her, he never thought he was wrong about anything.

The gang was sitting at their usual table for lunch, Chris was sitting next to Tori, while Jade sat opposite of her. Chris was being all lovey dovey, while Tori wanted to have an actual conversation with her friends. They were talking about girls, what guys should and shouldn't do or say. The boys were taking one side while the girls were telling them what girls actually wanted. "No no, women love flowers, they all do." Chris chipped in, Jade glared at him, tilting her head. "Oh really? Cause last time I checked, Tori doesn't like flowers, they die in the span of days and she has allergies. She would prefer something that doesn't die and then gets thrown away. She wants teddy bears and things that she can bond over, dipshit." She growled, she hated all the boys that tried to get with Tori.

Tori raised her brows, smiling. Chris scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Then why does Tori smile and take them? She loves them." He said smirking. The table got quiet, waiting for Jade to respond, Beck preparing to lunge and grab Jade when things went south. The goth laughed at Chris, fixing her skirt before crossing her arms. "You are that fucking stupid, Jesus Christ." She chuckled before licking her lips then sighing. "She takes them so she won't hurt your feelings, pretty boy." She flicked her eyebrows up. "Boys will get their little hearts broken way too easily. They punch holes in their basement walls, they lash out over the littlest things." She said glaring at him, Chris only huffed and put an arm around Tori. "I know Tori, she-" Jade immediately stood up, slamming her hands on the table. Her short temper taking over. "You haven't even known her for two months! You do not know her, you don't know her favorite song! You don't know her blood type! You don't know her favorite holiday! You don't know her middle name!" Jade yelled, watching Chris flinch a bit.

She kept going, her eyes burning holes in the buy before her. "Katy Perry's, I Kissed a Girl! Type O! Christmas! Victoria Dawn Vega!" She spat as she counted on her fingers, she then grabbed her coffee and uncapped it before throwing it on him. "What's her favorite drink!? Hot chocolate! What was her first word!? Dada! Who's her favorite cartoon character!? Kim Possible!" She was upset, people think they know someone, but then they can't answer simple questions. Everyone by them watched in amusement, Beck got up and grabbed Jade by the shoulder. "Alright, cowboy. Let's settle down." He said showing a little smile, he tried to not get hit. Jade kept glaring at Tori's boyfriend. Chris got up, scoffing at the now warm coffee all over him, he looked up at her. "What the fuck is your problem, bitch?" He growled, he quickly backed up when Jade lunged. Beck grabbed her and held her back, but Jade got out of his hold.

Tori had gotten up after her, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her against her front. "Jade, Jade! Hey, it's ok!" She tried to reassure her, wanting Jade to relax. Jade struggled against her grip, feeling tears sting her eyes, she tried to grab Chris, but he was just out of her grasp. "Fuck you! Fuck you!" Jade shouted, she then felt a hand start to play with her hair, making sure to not undo the waves in it. She got distracted and relaxed in the touch. Tori smiled softly, she kept going. "There we go, good girl." she said softly, turning Jade towards her. She saw the tears, she frowned slightly, she wiped them away with her thumb. Jade sighed softly, relaxing into her touch. Everyone just blinked at them, surprised at how Tori could calm the girl. Chris quickly furrowed his brows. "Is she gay?" He pointed at Jade, scoffing. Of course, he was homophobic, his features turned into disgust. He took the empty coffee cup off of the ground and threw it at the back of Jade's head before turning to leave. Gasps were heard.

Jade just stood there, nothing in her eyes except tears. She was frozen, she didn't feel when Tori let go of her and walk away. She was stuck staring at the ground, tears fell from her eyes, her makeup running, her shoulders slumped. She felt hands on her, she heard Cat, but couldn't figure out what she was saying. Everything felt blurry and fuzzy. Everything felt wrong. There was yelling, she could barely make out something hitting the ground, wet noises. She slowly looked over, Cat tried to cover her eyes, but she pushed her hands away. She watched Tori, she was on top of Chris, straddling his back, she slammed his face into the concrete. She watched as Beck, Andre, and a few other guys trying to get Tori off of him. She watched as blood surrounded her. She watched teachers running over. She watched as chaos flooded the space.

Tori was finally ripped off of Chris, getting held back by multiple guys, some were teachers. She looked over at Jade, all she wanted to do was run over and hug her, tell her that everything was going to be ok, that she was safe now. Jade just stood there, her eyes locked on Tori's. She slowly made it over, pushing people out of the way. Beck told the people holding Tori back to let go, when they didn't, he yelled, demanding. They let go, watching at Tori ran to Jade. The two girls grabbed each other by the head, lips connecting, Tori still had blood on her. Once they pulled away, they pressed their foreheads together, smiling softly at each other. "I don't think I ever told you my middle name." Tori chuckled, playing with the girls hair. Jade smiled. "I went through your medical records, remember? I know things about you that you don't even know about you." She said softly, Tori scoffed playfully, pushing Jade's face away.

She went wide eyed as principal Helen came running over, yelling her name. She looked over, her hands still on Jade. "My office, now!" She yelled, getting over to her and grabbing her arm. Tori sighed, looking at Jade, giving her her doe eyed stare. "Later." She said softly, she didn't want to leave Jade's side, she just wanted to keep talking and holding her. Jade quickly grasped Tori's wrist. "I'm not letting go." She said slightly smiling as she started to walk. Tori smiled more as they walked into the school with Helen. Helen dragged Tori down the hallway, making people make a pathway for them. Once they got outside of the principal's office, Helen looked at Jade. "You need to stay out until Tori's punishment is delt with." She spoke, still holding Tori's wrist. Jade shook her head, ready to get into an argument. "No, I need to be with her. I can't be alone." She spoke as she watched Helen, she really didn't want to be alone. Helen sighed as she knew there would be an argument.

Minutes went by, the two argued while Tori watched. Each of her arms were being held by the two in front of her. Eventually Helen gave in and dragged them both inside her office, demanding them both to sit. Tori sat, but Jade stood by her, she liked being a brat. Helen sat, looking up at Jade. "Sit! Now!" She demanded, slamming a hand on her desk. Jade raised her brows in amusement and sat beside Tori in the seat, still holding onto her. Soon enough, sirens were getting closer, ambulance and cop cars. Tori remembered her dad was a cop, she pursed her lips and inhaled. She tried to prepare herself. Jade moved her hand to hold Tori's, rubbing her thumb against the other girls skin. She was trying to be as relaxing to her as possible. It kind of worked, but Tori was definitely still overwhelmed.

The clock ticked, soon the door swung open, the office lady letting Mr. Vega inside. Tori didn't even turn her head, she kept her eyes situated at her lap. Jade and Helen looked, both waved, but Jade with a wide smile. David slightly waved, before walking to Tori's side and looking down at her. Tori was surprised to have the top of her head kissed and her back rubbed. She looked up at her dad in confusion. David just smiled softly at her. "Hey, kid." He said grabbing a chair from the corner and sitting in it next to her. Tori relaxed and looked at Jade, who was smiling at her. She rolled her eyes lovingly as she looked up at Helen, who's expression was softer. What was going on, why were people... not mad? She didn't understand, she thought she would be scolded and suspended or expelled. Helen started to talk, making sure Tori knew that she was safe and she understood.

Tori kinda spaced off, she was just glad that she wasn't going to jail. Only getting sent home early. When they were sent out, David pulled Tori into a tight hug, Jade let go. Tori hugged back, letting herself cry. They stayed like that until Jade started to pout and whine, the two looked over at her. "Yes?" Tori asked, amused, wiping her tears from her eyes. Jade sighed dramatically and crossed her arms. "I get that you two are having a moment, but I would like Tori back." She said not looking at them. Tori laughed and quickly hugged Jade, kissing her temple. "Awe, does someone need my attention?" She teased, soon feeling Jade kiss her. Mr. Vega cleared his throat, raising his brows. The two girls looked at him, Tori giving a sheepish smile. "Sorry dad." She giggled, moving to hold Jade's hand. All three headed out, Jade quickly had an idea. "Male Vega-" She quickly shook her head, fixing what she said. "I mean-" she chuckled, "Mr. Vega." she said, making the other two stop.

Jade had a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Can we leave in your cop car? I want to be dramatic." She said with a smile, holding Tori's hand. David laughed, nodding. "Alright but act sad." He said walking them out of the doors, everyone had their eyes fixed on them. They watched as David brought the two to his car, Tori got in the passenger side, because she got carsick easier if she sat in the back. Jade took the backseat, smirking at the crowd. She went wide eyed at seeing Cat shoving Mr. Vega out of the way and slamming her hands against the glass. "Tori!! Jade!! Are you okay!?" She yelled, tears filled her eyes. Jade nodded, watching David roll his eyes before opening the door for her to get in. Cat immediately jumped in, her arms wrapped around Jade. "Are you going to prison!?" She asked, very loudly. Jade flinched, nodding. "Yup, we are going for life." She joked, she quickly had to backtrack when Cat started to sob uncontrollably.

Beck, Andre, and Robbie showed up, they had questions. Tori leaned over to see them, she started to explain that they weren't going to jail or prison, only that Jade wanted to be dramatic. The boys nodded before going wide eyed when they heard Trina. She was confused and had thrown a rock at Robbie's head (I have been laughing at this for minutes, help) She was very worried for her sister, she had seen the stuff after Tori and Jade went to the office. She heard about what happened then saw her dad taking Tori and Jade to his cop car. Her very logical response was to throw a rock at Robbie's head, why? She never answered why, only going over to the passenger side to Tori and making sure she was ok. Beck and Andre sighed as they helped Robbie up, dusting him off and checking his head.

David whistled loudly, making the group look at him. "Let me take these two home. Everyone else, please move." He said getting into his seat. Everyone said their goodbyes, Tori telling them that they could come visit afterschool if they wanted. Once they were on the road, Jade broke out into laughter. "Today was so weird." She said, not knowing entirely if this was real or not. Tori looked at her, smiling. "It really was, but now we can relax at my house." She said smiling, she was very much in love with this girl. Jade smiled at her, tilting her head. "Can't wait." She said leaning back in her seat, fixing her skirt. When they settled down on Tori's couch, Tori asked, "So... what are we?" She asked, Jade didn't look at her, only looking at the coffee table. Tori hummed, wrapping her arms around Jade and bringing them down, she laid on top of her. "We don't have to put a label on it, if you don't want to." Tori said softly.

Jade looked at her, smiling. "Girlfriends." She said softly, putting a strand of Tori's hair behind her ear. Tori smiled wide at her, nodding. "I like the sound of that." She said moving up and kissing her girlfriend. Jade kissed back, wrapping her arms around her. She felt so safe in Tori's grasp, she gave great hugs, but she wouldn't admit that.

[hufflepuffinstorybrooke]

Please Don’t Hate Me

I need to start by stating that I really liked the Red, White, and Royal Blue movie. The cast and crew were amazing and this was a sorely necessary movie in the queer community as far as representation goes. I am also really bad at separating a movie from its source material. So this is just an opinion on some representation, both feminine and queer, that I wish had been in the movie.

First, with the female representation. Most obviously, the fact that June was written out, Princess Catherine was absent, and Queen Mary was switched to King James III.

Even while Alex is the main character, June is the heart of the Claremont-Diaz family. Alex and Ellen are too wrapped up in caring for the nation that they can sometimes forget that they need looking after themselves.

Combine this with keeping Ellen married to Oscar (she and Oscar are too similar, but Leo took care of her) and taking away some of her more nurturing characteristics (good thing bad thing), Alex’s family seems less supportive in the movie than the book.

This is similar to the problem I have with removing Princess Catherine. Henry has Bea’s support, but with the watered down Bea, that’s almost an empty corner. Princess Catherine is what forces the Queen to support Henry and Alex, and that is the first time Henry has felt a parent’s love since his father died. It’s just so important to his story, but I can understand why it was cut.

But why did they have to water Bea down so much? I don’t need the Powder Princess scandal, but if Bea is Henry’s only support, show that she is strong enough to back him for real. Throw her in a leather jacket, send her out to a party with the group, and show an electric guitar in the corner of the music room. It didn’t have to be anything big, but give her back her fire!

Then there’s Queen Mary, which I don’t really mind the switch since it gave us Stephen Fry as King James and the prime minister was a woman. I just felt like it lost some of the symbolism of the female heads of the nations and their opposite viewpoints on FirstPrince and tradition.

Lastly, there’s Nora. I liked her, I really did, but I wish they had mentioned that she went to MIT, even just Alex calling her MIT like he does in the book. There are places of higher learning, particularly in STEM, that kept women out for far too long. It would have been a great boost to show a woman being a graduate of the most well known technical institute in the country.

The only woman I was completely satisfied with was Zahra, they kept her as tough as nails!

Before I start on queer representation, remember that I do realize how important this movie is as a mainstream representation of queer love. However:

By taking out June, they took away the June/Nora/Pez relationship. I personally think that June and Nora were in a relationship and Pez just joined in while he’s in town. But still, a polyamorous secondary relationship in a rom com would have been nice.

That also takes away Nora’s bisexuality, which is just bi erasure! (And I know Alex says he’s bi, but that scene when Zahra calls him and Henry homosexuals bothers me! It erases Alex’s bisexuality!)

Rafael Luna was a huge impact on Alex, and showing an openly gay senator would have been amazing.

I am glad that, since they only kept one secret service agent, that they kept Amy. However, I do miss Cash and his pansexual jean jacket!

Moving on to Amy, I don’t mind that they didn’t mention that she is trans, especially since she is played by a trans actress and that was only brought up in Alex’s thoughts in the book. I do wish she had brought up her wife. There was such a good window of opportunity when she and Alex are talking about her dog. “You know my wife and I named our dog Jonathan.”

The addition of Miguel Ramos brings in the “gays are evil and vindictive” stereotype. Especially considering he was the only other openly queer person in the movie

On a lighter, headcanon note, I see Bea as at least ace, if not aroace, which sucks that it wasn’t included, but it makes sense since it’s not canon. Also, Princess Catherine cuffs her jeans, so she’s obviously bi lol

Again, the book is perfection, and I love the movie in its own right too. These are just some things that were missed or added that I wish changed in the movie!

[henrysglock]

Are you still doing unpopular opinions?

Because I saw that you did those and I couldn’t for the life of me think of anything lmao. But now I have found something which is definitely something I can see people get upset over….

My unpopular opinion is:

Will would be the little spoon in canon.

And to dive a little deeper:

I think this big preference for Mike being the little spoon in the tag comes from a subconscious aversion to Will’s canon characterization.

What I mean by that is that it’s actually a huge thing in the tag to mischaracterize Will, and while the mischaracterization of Mike is also enormous, there is a significant difference between those mischaracterizations.

Mike is made into an incompetent loser that’s clumsy and pathetic which all comes from the in-fandom cringe-fail-loser joke. It was originally said to stand against another mischaracterization of Mike that is the leather-jacket-metal-head Mike: “stop making Mike cool, he’s a cringe fail loser!” And people started to run with that and completely erased Mike’s own unique nerd-coolness in the processes.

But oh boy…. Will is made into an overconfident, popular, sports playing badass with the gun. And even the variant that excludes sports and guns is still something Will clearly isn’t. And the problem here is that people are making Will into something that the show tells us he is the exact opposite of which serves a significant purpose in his story!! They’re making Will into exactly what Lonnie tried to force him to be!

Will is quiet and sensitive! He’s introverted, he’s small, he’s easily scared, he runs, he hides, he freezes, he is not a violent person, he isn’t interested in sports, he isn’t popular, he’s an outcast, he feels like he doesn’t belong, he cries a lot, he’s soft, he’s polite, he has so much love inside of him and he shows that every way he can!

Will shows a lot of traits that are stereotypically feminine, like being sensitive. Crying and showing feelings are all things that are still associated with women and therefore stand out and aren’t as accepted in men. These stereotypically feminine character traits play a HUGE part in Will’s story because it’s the reason why almost everyone in Hawkins thinks he’s gay. And the fact that he’s not into stereotypically masculine things like sports and violence is a factor that plays into this very much as well! They shape Will’s experience and struggle with his sexuality in a small town as a visibly gay boy!

So I personally think it’s very telling that a huge portion of the fandom flips this around and make Will into this hypermasculine manly man who plays sports and is good with gun. Who fights and is overly confident. All in the name of “not making a stereotype out of him”.

But then make Mike into a stereotype instead🫡

Which is SO very telling! Will is their favorite and thus they don’t want him to have any stereotypically feminine traits because it makes them uncomfortable, but they don’t actually care about Mike outside of byler so they give him the stereotypically feminine traits instead as redemption: “look! I’m not uncomfortable with this! I’m giving the traits to Mike!”

And this includes stereotypically feminine roles. Such as the little spoon and the damsel in distress!

Depicting Mike as the damsel in distress and Will as Superman carrying him bridal style is so incredibly popular in this fandom which is actually kinda hilarious because according to their canon characterizations this would be the other way around. But people like to switch their roles in the name of “progressiveness”.

Which is super regressive and weird because it pretty much exposes the people who (subconsciously) see Will as the “woman in the relationship” (please kill me) which also makes them first class hypocrites. They are the ones assigning Will that role in the first place and then taking it away again and reassigning it to “the man in the relationship” (kill me now) because they’re uncomfortable with Will having that role even though again, they’re the ones who assigned him that role! (And they’re also the ones still associating these roles with strictly women).

Which is why so many people deliberately go out of their way to assign things that obviously fit better with canon Mike to Will and vice versa.

I genuinely can’t think of any other reason why people would do all of this instead.

So…..

I guess my unpopular opinion kinda escalated into a fandom-analysis/rant? Sorry for that😀

But I’d very much like to hear your thoughts on this. If this is something you’ve noticed as well etc. because this is genuinely something that makes my blood boil!

I hope you have a wonderful day💓🌷🌈

it is ALWAYS unpopular opinions hours!

Decision: [STRONGLY AGREE]

I have to say...you're preaching to the choir here. I hate buff Byers shit with a passion. Hypermasc Will my beloathed.

It drives me up a fucking wall when he's made into the cold, tough, strong, athletic one specifically when Mike is painted as the soft, "babygirl", scared, wimpy one.

Will is canonically the damsel in distress type who fights when he needs to, not because he wants to. I spoke at length way back about how buff Byers erases Will's canon personality to turn him into this seme superman caricature of himself while turning Mike into the uwu uke femboy bbgrl type.

It's very telling and it's very much horseshoe graph type shit. swung so hard away from "flaming, limp-wrist yassss-queen queer" Will that we ended up with "cishetero manly-man boyfriend stereotype" Will...when he's not either of these things.

Like not to let my tone here sound too much like Henry's monologue, but it really just goes to show that the fandom, while presenting that they have escaped the stereotyping...have not, in fact, done anything but swap the stereotypes. It's all a big lie.

It's a lie to make a grab at performative progressiveness so they can get moral goodness brownie points on the internet by putting Mike in a skirt and taking away all the qualities he has that are perceived as masculine so those traits can be transferred onto Will, who evidently is in need of more masculine-perceived qualities.

It's highly OOC and it just shows that queer characters in the fandom are still being sorted into heteronormative boxes under the guise of wokeness, like you said. Will gets made into the stereotypical "man" and Mike gets made into the stereotypical "woman"....when not only is that not accurate to canon, but it also just reinforces the body-based stereotyping of "skinny -> weak and fearful -> woman" and "filled out -> tough and aggressive -> man".

Anyway: Will Byers little spoon is not only good, it is also correct based on canon dynamics.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ben Appel

Published: Jun 13, 2023

As a gay man, I have no pride in Pride month. Radical LGBT bullies have captured it – and threaten to 'fix' us by medicalizing and transitioning us. But gay people will NOT be erased again.

Everywhere around me, I see Pride flags. 'It's time to celebrate the LGBT community!' I'm told. But, this year, as a gay man, I'm not proud of my so-called 'community.'

In fact, I'm horrified by it.

Two decades ago, when I attended my first Pride parade, the LGBT world truly needed it. Pride is the opposite of shame. And for decades, even centuries, gay people had been told to be ashamed of ourselves, of our same-sex attraction, and our supposed inability to behave like 'normal' people.

We were harassed and oppressed. Homosexuality was criminalized. If a man was convicted of having consensual sex with another adult man, he was given two options: imprisonment or chemical castration.

Gays were forced to be something we were not. We were erased.

And that's why I am so heartbroken that 20 years later, the LGBT community supports a new practice that threatens to erase gay people.

It is benignly called 'gender-affirming care.'

Today, LGBT Pride marches arm in arm with radical ideologues who contend there is no such thing as biological sex.

Their extreme doctrine claims that men can simply decide to become women, and, most disturbingly of all, that children can actually change their sex.

Educators, policymakers and physicians are telling young boys that if they like wearing dresses or playing with dolls, they might be girls; young girls are told that if they prefer football to ballet, they might be boys; and that with some experimental pills and high-risk surgeries, they can all finally be 'normal.'

Magically transformed, forever.

But what if a young person struggling to be 'normal' is not trans, but gay? What would have happened to me?

In the course of research for my forthcoming memoir, 'Cis White Gay,' I interviewed a wide range of experts and people within the LGBT community on this troubling, evolving ideology. 

I spoke with Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper, the founding psychologist for the first hospital-based pediatric gender clinic in the U.S. 

'There are definitely cases when I strongly suspect sexuality is the issue with young teens,' Dr. Edwards-Leeper explained of her work with gender diverse and transgender people. 'I wonder about it with children, too.' 

I told Dr. Edwards-Leeper about my own gender-nonconformity in childhood and my concern that if I were growing up today, I would have been erroneously affirmed as a transgender girl. 'I'm sure you would have,' she said.

Dr. Erica Anderson, a transgender clinical psychologist who treats children, shares the same fear.

'I'm afraid too often, [gay boys are] consuming social media that says, "If you are uncomfortable in your body when you hit puberty, if you don't quite fit with your age mates, well, maybe you're trans,"' she told me. 'I think it's a terrible message to kids, that there's no place for variance. And I think it is the foundation under which, in some circles, there is some transing of the gay.'

Can the LGBT community truly be proud of this?

I cannot overlook the devastating reality that the same pills offered to distressed adolescent boys to feminize their bodies and stave off male adulthood are the same pills, just decades ago, that were used to render gay men asexual.

I cannot turn a deaf ear to the words of former gender clinicians at a U.K. clinic, who told The Times U.K. in 2019 about a dark joke among staff, that soon 'there would be no gay people left,' that what happened in their clinic felt like 'conversion therapy for gay children,' or that 'for some families, it was easier to say, this is a medical problem, "here's my child, please fix them!"'

'Fix them'? 'Fix' children?

I also cannot ignore the testimonies of the detransitioners — adult gay men who sought escape from homophobia in a trans identity and have come to regret it. Some tell me that they were coerced to believe that their atypical femininity meant that they were trapped in the wrong bodies.

'Michael' told me, 'The reason why I felt so happy [after transition] was because I got a break from being seen as a gay guy; I was just this normal, hetero-appearing girl.'

Brian confessed that, 'With estrogen, my libido just kind of died, and it felt so great because I always viewed my sexuality as something bad, and [transgenderism] kind of appealed to me because my dad always hated gay people.'

'Steven' said, 'I felt like I'd rather be a trans woman than a gay man because that was like the lowest and most disgusting thing you could be.'

There are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people who are horrified by what is being done.

So, we write, we talk, we tweet. We phone our friends and our relatives and neighbors. We tell them that what is being done to children is medical malpractice.

We explain that recklessly administered 'gender-affirming care' is nothing less than the experimental medicalization of homosexuality that carries significant risks. It leads to infertility and loss of sexual function, and no child can adequately consent to it.

To advocates of these practices, I ask you: Is this what you mean when you say you're on 'the right side of history?'

I cannot shrug off the feeling that in the name of the so-called 'LGBT community' a great injustice may be happening before our eyes. But when gay people speak out – we're called bigots.

Lesbians are told they're hateful if they don't want to date males, who identify as women. And gays are told they're hateful if they don't want to date females, who identify as men.

I've had the term 'cis' spat at me with the same venom that I was once called homophobic slurs on the playground, all because I am 'cisgender.'

I am a male that is exclusively attracted to other males. Is that no longer allowed?

Is this what my 'community' has become – the bullies that we once fought against?

If I am proud of anything this Pride Month, it is my new 'community' of LGBT heretics.

Those of us who stand up in the face of ridicule to say: This is not us. This is not who we are.

I am proud every time we're shouted down by authoritarian activists. I remain proud even as we're called 'evil,' 'right-wingers,' or 'transphobes.'

To that community, I say: Happy Pride.

==

Note: links added by me to preempt deniers: "LiTeRaLLy nO oNe iS sAyInG tHaT!" "tHaT nEvEr hApPeNs!"

[multigenderswag]

people are only trans/nonbinary allies when it suits THEIR identity and it sickens me.

it’s so widespread I can’t even do anything about it except seethe in silence because I don’t want to get hunted down and embarrassed again.

if people could look outside of what accepting trans/nb people would mean for THEIR sexuality for one fucking second i guarantee you there would be less discourse in this dumpster fire of community

yes, this is about man lesbians/woman gays.

I saw someone call a demiboy lesbian “straight” and then have the audacity to say “nonbinary lesbians are valid!1!”. PICK A FUCKING SIDE.

hi yes last anon i forgot my last point so-called “trans allies” also like to ignore the idea of male and female not being mutually exclusive. I pray they get their asses handed to them one day by some fellow multigender folk because at this point direct confrontation is the only that that’ll get them to see the cold light of day and stop being part of the problem. they don’t like to accept us because they can’t handle the thought of being attracted to the opposite gender, even if it’s in the most slim way- so much so that they can’t see that *we’re not forcing them to DATE us, we’re asking them to ACCEPT and INCLUDE us.* if there’s someone in a community they don’t want to date it’s fine until that person happens to be genderqueer/trans/enby. and that’s very telling about how accepting they really are.

Trans liberation, and honestly any kind of activism for any marginalized group, would not be possible if people only ever stood up for their own identity. We need to support each other in order to have any strength.

Some people really will only expand their view of sexuality and gender until they find something that fits, and then stop there, and don't bother learning about or advocating for anyone else. And that's not how activism works! If aroallo people like me never made any effort to understand and accept and stand up for asexual folks, the aspec community as a whole wouldn't get very far. And like you said, if trans/nonbinary people only cared about their own gender identity, and never made an effort to learn about and stand up for the variety of trans/nonbinary identities that exist in the community, the trans community wouldn't get very far!

It's disgusting to insist that someone's sexuality is something they say it isn't. Did that demiboy identify as straight? If the answer to that is no, don't call them straight. It's very simple, really.

Did they not hear the contradiction? Do they listen to themselves speak? At this point, I'm convinced some of the "lesbian means NON MEN loving NON MEN" crowd includes nonbinary lesbians because they see nonbinary people as women. Nonbinary can mean woman with short hair or woman who uses they/them pronouns or maybe even woman who got top surgery, but god forbid nonbinary lesbians call themselves men or go on T or get bottom surgery or be someone who was assigned male at birth and doesn't want to medically transition. Basically, they only support nonbinary people if they can conveniently view them as "basically a woman."

There's no way to be a trans ally if you view "male" and "female" as mutually exclusive or as polar opposites. That shit is Gender Binary 101, and deconstructing it should be one of the first steps of being a trans ally. It shouldn't be something that other trans and nonbinary people believe so commonly. Not only does this mindset exclude multigender people who are both men and women, but it hurts binary trans people who are connected to or feel like they used to be their assigned gender.

"We can't accept men who identify as lesbians, because then they will invade lesbian spaces and force lesbians to date them." Does this sound like TERF talking about lesbian trans women, or a so-called trans ally talking about multigender lesbians? Trick question, it sounds like both, because they're practically indistinguishable from each other. So many trans allies, even trans/nonbinary people themselves, will make the exact same arguments as TERFs and not see a single thing wrong with it, and it's awful.

You're not helping the trans community if you only accept identities that are convenient for you.