#if i have to do this another........ 8 times it'll be HARD

[front-facing-pokemon]

[livin4woso]

Never meet your hero (alexia putellas x teen!reader)

Summary - After transferring to Barcelona, the reader just wants to impress their idol, yet no matter how hard they try, it won't ever be enough. Alexia only realises their admiration when they accidentally push themselves too far.

Growing up womens football was rarely spoken about but if you dug for it you could find the media and thats when you in 2019 stumbled across alexia putellas a Barcelona midfielder with promising talent to be one of the greats.

You quickly found yourself trying to be like her and while she was claiming more accolades and fame to the name putellas; you were climbing the ranks of Chelsea academy football fast and not realsing you too were making a name for yourself.

Then it happened at 17 years old. You had somehow managed to gain the attention of Barcelona for a 4 year-long contract after making your professional debut for Chelsea just 8 months beforehand. Now, this raised some spectacle across the Barcelona team, and the fans, as you were young, couldn't speak spanish, which wasn't an issue but to compete with the stacked Barcelona midfield full of ballon d'or winners and major tournament winners was where people wondered how good you were.

Even you wondered how you were going to fit into the midfield, but playing with your football hero who made you change your playing style to the one that made you succeed was another type of pressure. You wanted to impress her and not seem like some scrawny teenager who had been given way too big of boots to fill.

You had arrived in Barcelona and the club hadn't wanted you to live on your own so the only other native english speaking member of the team keira was happy to let you crash at hers for your first year. "Im so sorry for crashing in your apartment for the next year, man. i swear I'll be clean around the place, and you know, help out," you told her as you were unpacking your belongings into her spare bedroom. "Honestly y/n its fine. Don't stress about it, it'll be nice to have some company in the place," she said with a warm smile.

You had spent the week before training at keiras just to settle into the area and get a grip on the basics of spanish and some catalan phrases which wasnt going the best for you or keira who was trying to teach you. It was finally time for you to start training with the team after far too many medical and fitness tests the team made you do. Keira was driving you there, and you had started to feel the nerves build in your chest as it finally hit you that you were meeting your idol and many other players who you deeply admired.

You had stood in the changing room waiting for the rest of the girls and as you stood you were using your hand to try to flatten out the creases on your training top and pushing back the fly aways from your hair to make yourself more presentable. Meeting the team wasn't as scary as you had thought it would have been. Everyone was friendly and kind to you, greeting you with smiles and shaking your hand until you were faced with alexia.

She was rather stoic in her features, and she was rather intimidating, but she was going to be your captain anyway so you just had to deal with it "hi im y/n erm sorry about not knowing spanish yet im trying too." You said as you tried not to stare at the floor as nerves dripped through your words "its fine im alexia, you're new captain" thats all she said back to you and ignored your hand that you held up for a handshake you thought maybe it was her lack of english but you let it slide.

As the weeks progressed, alexias attitude never changed towards you she would laugh and joke with vicky pina and patri, yet when you were around, it was like she could flick a switch of pretending you weren't there or would just blankly ignore you. It had started to get under your skin as you had took extra spanish lessons to fit in and would spend extra hours in the gym to be better to get better so she could appreciate you as a team member.

It had reached international break, and unfortunately, you hadn't been selected, which you had expected, and you had to practically beg keira. You would be fine on your own for the next 2 weeks. That was a lie in those 2 weeks you had worked yourself to the bone training and in the gym every moment of the day and while you thought this would be a positive you had been neglected your bodys health by not eating enough; by this point you were only eating dinner and a few random snacks just too make sure you weren't going to starve to death.

The change wasn't too noticeable, so it was nothing anyone was going to flag off as unhealthy behaviour, which led you to believe you were doing the right thing to be better for alexia, for her approval. You wanted to prove you could be like vicky or patri or anyone else in the team because to you she was your everything and yet she only saw a teenager but she didn't release she was treating you like an outsider.

Alexia putellas the la renia she had a reputation and she saw potential in you she did but she thought a tough love approach would make you a better player yet she had took it to another level that she didn't realise. She never noticed the way your shoulders dropped when she wouldn't compliment a good goal in training or the way tears welled in your eyes when she wouldn't joke on with you like the other girls. She was oblivious to it until it took a turn for the worst.

You were working yourself into the ground, and it was clear you weren't going to stop until someone told you to. These unhealthy habits had continued but not to the extreme when keira had returned from international break. They were so subtle that unless you were looking for it, it would be noticeable.

It was a Wednesday training session, and after an early gym session, it was time for field work, which was your favourite time of training. However, you should have noticed it your passes were sloppy. Your movements were slower than normal, and you just couldn't hit the target of the net. Then it happened it was during quick fire 5v5 games with the mini goal 6 minutes on, then 6 minutes off.

It was just your luck that you had been chosen to mark alexia, and it was round 3 of the games when something didn't feel right. You looked to receive the pass from esmee to turn and move forward when all of a sudden everything went so fast you couldn't comprehend it. Your body became heavy, and so did your eyelids, and that was it. You lost all control of your body, and it collapsed in on itself to a bonless pile on the pitch.

Meanwhile for alexia it was the opposite it was like slow motion she was stood opposite you waiting to defend your play when you missed the ball completely and your body went dropping to the ground with quite a loud thud which caused the game to be stopped immediately. She was hunched over you, trying to make you regain consciousness by lightly shaking your shoulder. The medics raced onto the pitch. However, alexia wouldn't budge from her spot next to you she needed to know if you were okay.

There was a ringing in your ear which had changed to a mix of voices and random spanish words which you could translate but not in the disoriented state you were in at the moment. You tried to open your eyes, but it was like looking directly into the sun, and the only thing you could understand coherently was alexias voice "y/n are you okay?" She asked you, her voice laced with concern "mmh what happened?" You asked back groggily to her."You don't remember you just passed out onto the floor, " she said to you, and it had set panic of within you shit. im done for.

You had managed to be hauled to your feet with your body weight being supported by alexia, and you couldn't tell if she was doing this because she cared or rather it was captains duties. You were now sat on the medical table after being forced to chug a bottle of water and an energy gel. However, alexia still hadn't left your side while it was strange to you it was rather comforting. The medical staff had ran quite a few tests on you to figure out the cause of why you passed out. However, you knew why your body was physically exhausted, but you were also mentally exhausted.

"So miss y/l/n it seems that the cause of your collapse was your body being overworked and a lack of the correct nutrition. We've noticed you have a slightly decrease in body weight however you have been adding up to 6 hours extra training a week we have on record." The medic stated and well it wasnt a suprise to you but too alexia she was shocked you could be doing this to yourself. "Y/n this isn't healthy why have you been training so much extra?" Alexia states to you but unfortunately you couldn't be professional on your response you told her the truth.

"Because im clearly not good enough for you or the team all i wanted was you to appreciate me on the team yet you hate me. I learnt spanish for you i tried so hard for you to notice me yet everytime you see me you blank me or frown at me and i want to know how can i be better" the words tumble out of your mouth as tears threaten to fall down your face. And in that moment alexia could feel her heart break she was the reason you had worked yourself to the bone for her and she had treat you like a piece of gum on her shoe. "Y/n im so sorry i thought that if i was tough on you, you would improve under pressure but it was really wrong of me im so sorry I'll try to be better for you because its not fair for you" she said to you.

"Well it doesn't matter anymore i dont care about you and your opinion and im done trying for you because its clear i dont matter to you" you shouted storming out of the medical office where keira was waiting in the car to take you home. The ride home was a tense one as keira had found out about your unhealthy behaviour, but you didn't need a lecture as she could tell you knew it was wrong.

Since then alexia was much nicer to you however it had never been the same you hadn't seeked out for the validation of alexia you had realised that praise is awarded and not always found when looking for. While you had never found the love to forgive alexia for your rocky start to your time in barca she had found solace in watching you progress and prove that she knew she was right to recommend you to transfer in the first place but she wouldn't ever tell you it was her because you needed to become your own player rather than tagging along to be the next alexia putellas.

[xveenusx]

Indifference

Paring(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Two people who are in love, well he used to be

Authors note: you guys like when I make you cry

Rating: angsty

Warnings: it'll hurt :)

__________________

He was late.

Time was a funny thing. Minutes turned to hours which rolled into days then suddenly months began to blur into years. In that time, people tend to go out and experience things, falling in and out of love, enjoying everything life had to offer.

Yet, I somehow found myself motionless, the spark that once ignited my core had been stifled to a small ember. Life continued to pass by while I remained glued in one place, watching as everyone around me attempted to achieve some form of happiness.

I was once like that. Filled with some much hope for a life with someone I loved, who showed up to support me and believed in my capability, because at one time in my life that was exactly what Rafe was.

Like I said, time was a funny thing. The more time passes with your partner, the more comfortable they seem to get. They stop trying. However, at what point does being comfortable become almost negligent?

Dates were canceled, appointments missed, and important accomplishments forgotten the more time went on. Rafe’s priorities shifted and I went from being the center of his world to being a planet merely circling his gravitational pull.

In his mind, we were forever, so a couple of cancellations here and there and bouts of forgetfulness were nothing in the span of things. I would have agreed had the cancellations not doubled with time or our conversations going from intimate and deep to surface level at best.

He was never home. It was always just me in this large house on figure 8.  Suddenly, he went from being the moon and the stars to just a bleak, unforgivable starless night. Cold and dark.

We had met when we were 16 and he was every bit a spoiled little rich boy that had extreme daddy issues, but there was more to him than that. I picked at his defenses until finally they shattered, and I was engulfed by all of him.

He was just different around me and that fact alone left me delighted. It made me feel special, almost stupidly so.

Things between Rafe and his father were already tense enough since Rafe bought a motorbike with the money he was supposed to spend on the generator. Then everything began to snowball out of control from there. He threw himself into his father’s work and when he wasn’t doing that, he was with Kells and Topper doing god knows what and snorting anything he could find.

Despite all of this, Rafe always kept me close and always let me in. 

Last year, when Ward had gone with Sarah and John B to South America, and didn’t return, something shifted inside him. His defenses were rebuilt, only this time he left me on the outside, and no matter how hard I tried to break him down brick by brick, nothing worked. He became obsessed with running Ward’s real estate empire better than he ever did.

Rafe was a cold and calculated legacy with a large chip on his shoulder that made him lethal against competing firms. He chewed them up and spit them out.

With every major milestone, it was never enough for him, and like a man possessed he continued to ruthlessly target anyone that had done him wrong. We had everything and yet the bitterness seemed to consume him. He was someone I saw once a day if I was lucky. He always left before I woke up and was never home by the time I went to bed and suddenly we were glorified roommates.

Once upon a time, I would stay up waiting for him with my heart in my hand, hoping to connect in any way. Even if I only had a few minutes to spend with him before he went to sleep, it was enough for me. But, 10 pm became 11 pm which turned into 12 am and so I gave up. My sleep schedule was already a mess as thoughts and insecurities pestered my mind of another woman.

“Any word from him yet? Some of the donors are asking for him?” The question pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to face my assistant, Rai.

Her question is innocent enough, but I can hear the slight concern in her voice and I know she has her doubts which only serves as another humiliating reminder that Rafe has done this to me repeatedly.

But this was different. He knew how important this charity dinner was to the shelter I opened up for women and children who suffered from domestic violence.

As someone who came from the cut, it was everywhere and so many didn’t have the means to flee and so they were forced to stay and in the most severe instances, die.

Rafe gave me the start-up money as a gift and it was a huge success that I opened several more as well as fund for scholarships for both the mothers and kids. Which is what brings me to now, a charity dinner and auction to help fund said scholarships and pay for all the shelter necessities.

He promised he would be here. It’s important for the donors to see him here seeing as though he donated a huge sum once more and could ease the minds of those who are teetering on the edge. It’s also important to me. This project is mine, something I created and shared with the world and I want to share it with him too.

I want him to celebrate this accomplishment with me and he is nowhere to be found.

“He’ll be here. Rafe promised.” I clear my throat, “He knows how important this is to me.”

Rai gave me a doubtful look and I know that I couldn’t convince her anymore than I could convince myself. The engagement ring that bore my finger instantly weighed a ton.

Glancing down at the large diamond that once meant the promise of everything, stared back at me as nothing more than a simple accessory.

Rafe had proposed and foolishly I believed that it would save us so I said yes.

I stayed and time and time again, the disappointment slowly began to etch away at the childish hope I tried to cling onto until only a dull ache remained.

“Don’t you look lovely?” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I let out a sheepish laugh as I take in Kiara’s parents. 

“Thank you guys so much for coming.” The words ring true but I couldn’t help but feel like I was underwater. My focus is shot and I find myself hardly listening with my eyes darting to the front door every minute or so, desperate to see the man I used to think would never stop loving me. 

I float around the room, committed to being a gracious host, because I would not let him take this from me too. Not when he’s taken everything else already. This is the only piece left of me. 

My cheeks hurt two hours later from all the fake smiles and my throat burns from the feigned laughing. The sound of my own voice makes me wince. 

In those two hours, I felt my confidence slowly get chipped piece by piece as everyone questioned where my fiancé was. And for a moment, I hated him. I truly hated him because even this small piece of heaven I made for myself is tied into him. 

Honey, I need to run some numbers with Rafe. Where is he hiding? 

Where is the biggest investor? Surely, he’s here, right?

I haven't seen Mr. Cameron. Has he stepped out? 

With which I responded,” Work emergency, you know how it is. He’s nothing if not committed.” Considering most of these possible donors run their own large companies, they completely understand but it’s their partners reactions that seem to leave me stunned. 

Each had a warm look of understanding dancing in their eyes as I’m sure they’ve used the same excuse time and time again.

I can only take so much. So I excuse myself and glance at the small gold heart shaped watch on my delicate wrist and take note of the time.

There was only 30 minutes left and I haven't gotten so much as a text from him. 

A pit began to form where my stomach used to be as I realized once more that he wasn’t coming. As I stood in a packed room, filled with a flurry of activity, surrounded by people, I’ve never felt more alone.

Then my eyes connect with Mrs. Dune, the wife of a finance guru that works alongside Rafe. She was much older than I, having been with her husband for 30 years but she looked even older. 

It’s almost as though she can read my thoughts, because she sends me a sad smile as she lets her eyes go to where her husband stands talking to other donors. I haven't seen him talk to her the whole night, instead she’s been standing at his side saying nothing. 

I take an uneven breath and my eyes widen in realization. Was this what I had to look forward to? A life sentence of loneliness vacant of any warmth and attention? 

Swallowing hard, I force my eyes away and stare at the door. Begging whoever will listen to please, this once, let me be wrong. I’m so in my thoughts that I’m startled when a soft hand lands on my arm.

“You get used to it. Eventually, you’ll feel nothing.” Mrs. Dune says quietly, her eyes moving back to her husband, with a look I can only describe as longing. 

That’s the thing. I don't want to get used to it. This isn’t how I want to be loved.

“What you’ve accomplished is amazing. Don’t let him take that away from you.” Was her parting words and she left, not sparing her husband another glance. 

When I turn to see if he noticed she left, he’s still engaged in conversations and doesn’t spare her a glance. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. This is Amy Park.” Rai looks ecstatic as she introduces me to the stunning tall woman next to her. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Park.” The words come out on instinct.

“I wanted to discuss how open you would be to expanding shelters nationwide?”

And for the first time in awhile, a real smile graces my face as I answer her question. 

_____________________

The first thing I notice when I pull into our driveway is the plethora of cars that fill it. The second thing I pick up on is familiar vibrations of music with each step I take along our pathway. 

My front door is wide open as people come in and out, clearly under the influence of something and my chest constricts. 

This is what he’s been doing? This was more important than me? 

Clutching my keys tightly, I welcome the familiar biting against my skin. I recognize many of the faces, most of them having gone to school with Rafe. 

If it was any other night, I would have joined them. We were only 22 and yet have lived what seems to be a hundred lives. But, this is different. He’s different. 

Climbing up the staircase, I head to the balcony where I hear a familiar boast of laughter. 

I cleared my throat. “What’s so funny?”

Heads snap in my direction but my eyes are only on one. One that currently has a short black haired girl nearly in his lap. I recognize her as a bartender at one of the local grills/bars we frequent. 

“Don’t you look gorgeous-“ Topper attempts to run interference, but it’s too late. I raise my hand to silence him. I’ve already seen everything I needed too. 

His body is positioned slightly in front of them as if I was going to body slam them. I might actually. 

“Hey, wait! How did the donor dinner go?” Topper's eyes dart to Rafe’s. “That was tonight right?”

I see the moment everything clicks. His eyes rake down from my newly styled hair to the louboutins in my feet. Everything I wore from the jewelry on my body to the shoes on my feet he bought me, and I’ve never felt more sick.

Rafe clenches his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “Fuck.”

Fuck, indeed.

“Get out of my way, Topper.”

He throws a worried glance to Rafe. “I think maybe-“

“Top, give us a second.” Rafe mutters tensely. He keeps his hard set gaze on me, drilling into me, almost as though he’s daring me to move. 

Kelce stands up giving me an apologetic look. “Rafe, man, there’s a bunch of people here.”

I force myself to look away. 

“Not right now, Kells.” 

He wasn’t wrong. This house was full of people, but the only difference being that none of them matter. Not to me and not to Rafe. 

Steady. Keep steady and just breathe. 

“So what should I do-“

I look at him. Me or them? It was unsaid but he knew what I was asking him. 

“Back the fuck off and give me a fucking second with my girl.” Rafe barks out, running a rough hand through the short cropped strands that brush against his forehead. 

Both hold their hands up in mock surrender before shuffling off to the side. The girl doesn’t get up. 

Topper coughs. “Sophia.” 

Her eyes take me in with clear distaste. Her hand is still dangerously close to Rafe’s waistband. I raise a single eyebrow giving her one last opportunity to move. 

She doesn’t. Not when Kelce calls out for her either.

Sophia made her bed. Setting my bag down, I take three big steps before I’m roughly shoving her off the couch sending her sprawling on the floor. 

Rafe let’s out a curse but makes no move to help her. At least he’s not stupid.

“Get out.” The words leave no room for negotiation.

The glare she sends me is filled with ice. “I was invited.”

Kelce lets out a groan before whispering,”Is she serious?”

The fake smile I’ve perfected over the years decorated my face as I bent down to her height on the floor. 

Flashing my engagement ring in her face. “Get out of my fucking house.”

That seems to shut her up and I watch with narrowed eyes as she struts away, Topper and Kelce in tow.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears while my chest feels like it’s going to explode. I turn around slowly to face my damnation. 

My heels click against the marble floor and with each step I take, the more the ache in my chest grows. Marching up to Rafe, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. Those familiar glacial blue eyes are red. His pupils are blown wide and my chest cracks wide open. 

He’s high. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

This is what he wanted to do instead of being there for me. Instead of supporting me. Instead of loving me. 

Dying would be less painful.

 I stare directly into those eyes, searching for an answer, wondering when the love he felt for me slowly became indifference.

I’d almost rather there be a mistress rather than this cold indifference.

“Did you have fun at least?” My words are soft but the intention is anything but. 

He says nothing. Instead Rafe studies me like I’m a wounded animal. 

Dark. Beautiful. Cruel. 

Those are the words I’d use to describe the man in front of me. The gaze that once felt like a soft caress on my skin now felt clinical. 

“It seems like you’re having fun.” I quip, flicking the small bag filled with familiar white powder. 

I thought I could fix him. I will not make that mistake again.

“I completely forgot-“

“How?” I ask. 

His eyes narrow like he’s trying to figure me out. “Work got insanely busy. You know how it is. Even if I own the place, I’m young and the older guys don’t respect me.”

“It was in your work calendar.” 

“No, it wasn’t-“

“It was also on your personal calendar and our joint one. I had your assistant send you a reminder email. So my question is how?” My voice wobbled and it was only by a small miracle that I didn’t throw something in his face. “How did you forget the only thing I’ve asked you for?” 

Something flickered in his eyes. “It wasn’t intentional. It slipped my mind.”

“Something I worked so hard to accomplish just slipped your mind?” Exhaustion has finally got the better of me and I finally let him see just how much he’s managed to chip away. 

“I should have been there for you and I’m so sorry,” His throat flexed a hard swallow. “But there will be other dinners.” 

The dull ache in my chest thrummed harder. Rafe was brushing this off, just like he always did. My skin flushed. 

At my silence, he braces his elbows on his knees and leans forward, tracking my every move. “I feel like you’re not understanding me.”

“No, I understand you just fine. It just wasn’t important enough for you.”

He stilled. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Of course it wasn’t what he meant but he’s managed to make me feel so insignificant. So small. 

“I know that you’ve canceled most of our dates for work. Even an anniversary once. I know that you missed the grand opening of the shelter that I spent a year and half planning.” I force the words out, each breath I take feeling like needles. “I asked for this one thing, Rafe and you couldn’t even give me that.” 

“What about everything I have given you? This house, the car you drive in, the clothes on your back, the boat?”

It’s like I’m staring at 16 year old Rafe again. To him, material things were the equivalent to love. He couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I find that I was much happier when I had little to nothing, than I am now, sitting here with everything, in my gown and jewels. 

“I didn't ask for any of those things.” By the stubborn gleam in his eyes, I knew he was going to fight me on everything. 

Lately, his tactic was always combative and it was easier to give in or to not say anything at all. 

 “No, but you took them all the same. I fucked up, I get that. I know what this shelter means to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t even have it if it weren’t for me.”

A familiar buzzing filled my ears. His words were ugly but they weren’t a lie. Even my project was his. I had nothing of my own.

I wonder how many other people came to the same revelation. Maybe that’s why so many of them asked where he was? Because this accomplishment wasn’t mine, no clearly it was his.

There is not enough room in my chest for the ache he caused. 

Words can’t seem to make it to my lips. I think my brain has finally broken and realizes that no words I say will get him to change. 

Smoothing out my dress, I stand on shaky legs before kicking off my heels. He can keep them. With that, I leave him out on the porch and make a beeline towards our his room. 

Opening the closet doors, I reach for the suitcase before setting it on the bed. I wasn’t going to be like Mrs. Dune and waste away beside a man that used to love me, hoping that one day he will once more. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” The words are hard and low. 

Rafe stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is brewing with several emotions I can't quite place. 

It was funny. I haven't seen this much emotion from him in months.

I ignore him and toss some clothes from my dresser into the open suitcase, making sure to grab only the clothes I needed.

I slowly take off each piece of jewelry and set it on my vanity. He can keep everything he so gloriously mentioned he bought. 

“You loved me once.” I state, tilting my head to the side. I rake over every detail of his face, knowing I’ll never forget it. 

I loved him once too. 

His face morphed to one of confusion before disbelief. “I still love you. That’s never changed.” 

I shake my head. “Yes, it has.”

Rafe stalks towards me, his hand reaching to burl around my neck while the other pulls me to him by my waist. Familiar cologne fills my lungs and I count to ten mentally. It was the same cologne I bought him when we first started dating. 

“I work too much, I know. That’s my fault and I’ll cut back. I’ll be home more and we can spend time together. I’ll do better.” Taking my chin between two fingers, he forces my eyes to his. I see the sincerity in his eyes but I know how this goes. 

The same way it’s gone the last two times. He’ll beg me to stay, promise to change, and things will be good for a month before he slowly starts missing dates or canceling trips we’ve planned months before. Then the cycle repeats. 

“No.” It was time to love myself. Since he clearly couldn’t do it. I will not allow myself to get lost in him again. 

“Baby, just wait. Will you wait-“ He huffs as I try to move around him. No such success as his towering body has me moving back and suddenly I’m caged in by his arms. “Just give me a second, okay?”

“I’ve given you years. I won’t give you another second.” 

“Talk to me.” His voice breaks. “Please just talk to me.”

Longing filled my body. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for months come so easily to him, but only when I already have one foot out the door.

 “I’m alone.” The words come out strangled. “ I’m alone in this. I have been for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Baby, I’m right here.” Rafe’s gripping onto me tighter, almost like he’s ensuring I don’t leave. “I’m right here.”

“You're never here. That’s exactly my point.” 

Rafe’s eyes widen before he shakes his head wildly, staring at me like I’m speaking another language. “That’s not true-“

“What’s today?”

“What?” 

“What’s today?” I repeat, my eyes never leaving his. I want to see every emotion that storms in his eyes, just to remind myself that he is capable of emotion after all. 

“Friday.” 

I smile at him sadly. Exactly my point. “I haven't seen you since Tuesday.” 

“No, that can’t be right. I was with you when we had lunch with-“ He breaks off, reaching for his phone in his pocket. I watch as he pulls up his calendar, an action that mortifies me, and confirms our scheduled date.

 “Tuesday.” He whispers, shocked even. 

I wasn’t. Rafe had to check his calendar to confirm that last time he’s seen his fiancé. 

“You used to come bring me lunch. If you were more than a couple hours, you always found your way to me or gave me a call that you’ll be late.” I shrugged, blinking back the tears stinging my eyes. “Now, I don’t think I’d get a call if you were in the hospital.”

The buzzing in my ears intensifies.

 “You didn’t tell me any of this. None of how you were feeling and you're ready to walk out the door without so much as an argument.” A spark of my old Rafe appears as frustration dances across his face.

“I should have-“

“You’re giving up.” He states, shaking his head in anger. 

Maybe I was. “I’m tired of fighting for us. You gave up a long time ago.” 

Large hands curl around my cheeks, pulling me towards his face. Rafe rests his forehead on mine, his piercing blue eyes darting across my face in panic. 

“I love you. I love you.” He knows he’s grasping at straws, but we feel like strangers now. The words don’t feel like they used to. “You know I love you.”

 “This isn’t how I want to be loved, Rafe. I see you every couple days, the only time we’re ever together is when we have sex.” We lost sight of how we once were. The only thing that remained good between us was sex. 

That alone isn’t healthy. He goes to open his mouth but I cut him off.

“We never talk and when we do, you don’t even listen to me. Your brain is always somewhere else.” 

“I’m in a relationship with a ghost. I’m not letting you suck the life out of me anymore.” My eyes catch the sparkling ring that once brought me such happiness. Now, it simply feels like a ball and chain. 

Before I can convince myself otherwise, I start to tug it off my finger when Rafe truly begins to panic. 

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” I try to hand it to him but Rafe jolts back like he’s been burned. The look he gives my empty hand is nothing short of destroyed.

I think I’m going to throw up. His words are laced with raw grief that makes it hard for me to breathe.

“Put it back on.” I hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” My lips wobble. 

“Please put it back on because if you don’t that means we’re over. That’s not us. We aren’t supposed to end.”

“Rafe, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“You’re ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. This isn’t anywhere near hard, it’s excruciating.” Rafe’s hand is notably shaking, but he tries to hide it by clenching and unclenching his palms. 

“Welcome to the last year of my life.” The words are brutal but he needs to hear them. 

“You promised me we’d never end.” 

“You promised to change. I guess we both lied.”

Rafe raises his voice, his arms thrown up in the air in clear distress, “How can you just stand there?”

It was a miracle I haven’t collapsed on my shaky legs yet. The adrenaline pumping though my veins was the only thing getting me through this torture. “Rafe, stop it.”

“You talk about indifference?” Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head up at the ceiling. “Who’s heartless now, baby?”

“You don’t get to put this on me. I’ve given you years of my life, showered you with nothing but love and support. I asked for one night, one fucking night, in your busy schedule and you didn’t bother to show up, or send a simple text.” I intake a sharp breath, pushing the hair out of my face with a shaky hand. “Instead, you threw a party in our home and got high.”

I point a finger at his chest, staring at him with open heartbreak. “I needed you,” The tightness in my chest finally pops as I choke on a loud sob, “I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I lost sight of what’s important to me. I’m just trying to give you everything-” I cut him off. 

Grabbing the clothes I haphazardly tossed in the suitcase, ”You want this? Take it,” I shove them into his chest, “Take all of it. I don’t want it. I’d give this all away in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back.”

I meant every word. I wanted my best friend back, the person I confided in and depended on. I wanted our late nights back watching trashy reality TV. We used to sit in the bathtub together basking in each other's company. Went on walks along the beach or took the boat out for hours, fucking on the deck, not caring that anyone could see. 

It used to be simple. He loved me and I loved him. 

“I’m angry, baby.I’m so damn angry all the time. At my fucking dad for always having these impossible expections. Then he goes and dies, leaving me without a clue on how to manage everything.” Rafe sags against the wall, exhaustion marring his features, his blue eyes pleading for me to understand. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”

I had no idea this was how he was feeling. But, he never let me in. “You could have told me, we’re supposed to be partners in this. You asked me to marry you!”

I think deep down I know that he felt me slipping through his fingers at one point. He could see clearly how unhappy I’ve become and that’s why he proposed. And maybe just like him, I thought the proposal could fix us. This proposal was being manipulated on both ends, it was doomed from the start.

You can’t fix what’s already broken. 

“My head has basically been a war zone and I’m losing. The only thing keeping me sane is that I know, when I walk through that door,” he points to our bedroom door, “I’m going to find you in our bed. Every. Single. Night.” 

“I can’t let the ugly touch you.” My heart splits into two at his words. Words I know feel like acid leaving his mouth. “You’re the only thing I have left.”

“Then you should have taken better care of me. You should have let me take care of you.” 

“Fuck,” He screams, bending down and swiping the lamp clean of the nightstand. The lamp goes flying into the wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces and my eyes are drawn to them. I can’t help but think it reminds me of us.

Dragging my eyes back to his, I fight the urge to wrap him in my arms. Seeing him in pain has never brought me joy, but this was brutal. His eyes shined with unmistakable tears, realizing the strength of my resolve. 

There was no going back this time. There was no trying again. I didn’t have another try in me. 

I grip onto the fabric of my dress moving towards him, my heart pounding out of my chest. He moves instantly, holding out his hand to guide me over the shattered lamp. Why couldn’t he be like this months ago?

Why did he let it get this bad? Why couldn’t he love me?

Now, standing in front of him, I let myself one deep breath, basking in the comforting smell of him. A large hand curls around my neck, his grip strong and firm, demanding my attention. His blue eyes are daunting and so intense, I find myself fighting the urge to look away.

“I’m going to get you back.”

”Take it, Rafe.” I whisper, uncurling his limp hand, “Take it. It doesn’t mean what I want it to.”

Tears blur my vision as I fumble with the ring he refuses to take.

 Rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “There’s no point in taking it off if it’s gonna go right back there in a couple weeks. ”

I can’t help but smile at the determination in his voice. He sounds like the old Rafe and for a second I see a glimmer of who he used to be.

 He had me. Then he lost me. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“If spending the next few months without you means that I get to spend a lifetime with you, I can manage. I’ll do whatever I have to.  But don’t think for a second that there is anyone else on this entire fucking planet meant for you.”

That’s how I want to be loved. Too little too late.

I drop the ring.

[mouwrites]

I wish I could go on a date with Nina :( but I might make a part 2 of this if you guys want :3

Creepypasta/MH - Dates With Them

Characters: Nina the Killer, Jeff the Killer, Tim/Masky, "Ticci" Toby

Nina the Killer

I feel like you have a good mix of types of dates with Nina

Some of them are super impromptu; like she'll pop her head in your room and tell you to be ready to leave soon

And then you'll head out for ice cream or to the mall or smth :)

But she also likes to plan things sometimes, particularly romantic things

Like picnics or romantic walks at night

Or, if you're also crazy, midnight murder sprees <3

She always seems to have the perfect outfit for whatever occasion though

And, if you're dating her, so will you

She would have showered you with enough gifts (and taken you to the mall enough times) that you also have like. the PERFECT outfit for a specific occasion

So neither of you really have to worry about what to wear

But Nina still does; specifically when it comes to planned dates

She'll fret over what to wear for at least a day, having long private fashion shows in her room until she finds the perfect one

She's always super confident in whatever she wears, practically beaming when you meet up to get going :)

And she will combust if you mention her outfit; she knows she looks great, but to hear it from you is just <33

Ofc she always compliments you too!!

But for more casual dates sometimes she will stop you like "ok you are NOT leaving the house like that. come on, I'll help you pick something that actually suits your stunning beauty."

No you don't have a choice when that happens ^

Dw though, she'll pick something nice that you both like and that fits your aesthetic :3

Jeff the Killer

Dates with him are always a surprise

In many ways...

There's no way to know what he's planning or when he's planning it or if it's even planned at all

Like, sometimes you'll just be out for a walk and he'll say:

"This is a date btw."

"What?! You could've told me beforehand, I would've worn something nice..." >:/

And he just laughs, because he thinks you're still gorgeous in your hoodie and jeans :)

But another way that his dates are a surprise is because his concept of a "date" is so broad and obscure

One time he literally just took you to look at this old truck that crashed in a creek

That was it. That was the date. You walked a short distance and just looked at the truck for like 45 minutes

Jeff rarely plans his dates ahead of time

The most of a head's up you're going to get is a text saying "dinner at 8"

(you got the text at 6)

("dinner" is most definitely either McDonald's or some trashy two-star hole-in-the-wall buffet)

Needless to say, Jeff isn't very romantic in the traditional sense

But for all his weirdness and un-romantic date planning, he still loves every second he gets to spend with you

He loves that you're beautiful in whatever you're wearing, he loves that you laugh at whatever lame joke he makes...

Maybe that's why he doesn't feel the need to do something showy... you're already perfect when you're casual :)

But he's also just lazy and kind of a dirtbag

Tim/Masky

Dates with him are rare

Unless you're the one planning them; he's not going to be the one initiating them in most cases

He just doesn't know how to plan a date

And he's nervous he'll get it wrong :(

But at the same time, sometimes he just really wants to go out and do something with you

So sometimes he'll ask you out for a meal, or for a drive

Something pretty quick and casual; something easy that's hard to screw up

It'll seem impromptu, but in reality he would've been planning to ask you for days at least

You guys definitely have a few favorite diners, or some scenic routes to drive

Honestly that just makes it even easier for him; he'll just shoot you a text:

"Dino’s tonight?"

And ofc you'll say yes; you both love Dino's :) (or whatever little diner)

If and when he does do something romantic, it’s rarely as big as a whole date

Like he’ll get you flowers or smth, but it’s super rare that he’ll take you on a really romantic date

But sometimes he will :o

And he’ll dress up and act a perfect gentleman, complimenting you, getting you little gifts, holding your hand…

It’s like he’s trying to make up for all his un-romanticness in one night

And maybe he is tbh :(

“Ticci” Toby

Toby just likes spending time with you; it doesn’t really matter what you’re doing :)

As long as it’s at least vaguely interesting to him, he’s cool doing whatever

So oftentimes he’ll be the one asking you what you want to do for dates

He doesn’t really have a set “date night” for you two, but he tries to have one every now and again

It’s usually when he has an idea that he decides it’s time for a date night

(Or just when he feels like going on a date with you)

Sometimes he’ll see a cute date in a movie (or when stalking “people watching”) and decide he wants to try it with you

Especially if it looks like fun, like a paintball game or trying a crazy new restaurant

But he also likes the sappy stuff, like a home movie night or stargazing

It ends up being pretty boring for him, but the way his heart races when you hold his hand is more than enough to keep him on board :)

Toby likes to do romantic gestures, no matter what kind of date you’re on

At first it was only because “it’s what people who date do” (stuff he saw in movies)

But he found himself actually enjoying your reactions, so he made a habit of doing those kinds of things

Getting you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, kissing your hand, pulling out your chair for you…

(grinning wildly at your subtle reactions all the while)

It almost makes him seem like a gentleman

But then he’ll spend the date yapping about the most unhinged shit and you’ll be reminded that he’s. Like that

But hopefully that’s what you’re really into if you’re dating him :)

Thank you so much for reading! Take care duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

[vendetta-if]

Early Access Demo Update is now Live 🥳

Hey guys 👋 Sorry for not being too active here this month. I've been working really hard on this update, but now that it's done, I'll get back to answering some more asks in the coming days 😁

This update brings in 24K of new words, bringing Chapter 6 wordcount in total to 89.4K words and the total demo wordcount to 325.3K words! This update brings Chapter 6 to a neat close, which is important because to me, Chapter 6 is like the end of the first arc of the book. 

Not only that, but I have also added a few major coding functions with this update, namely, a skip chapter function, and an autosave and reload function. I'm aware that my demo is getting longer, so I assume a skip chapter function might  be a welcome addition. 

It took me a long time to plan and figure out how to implement these systems, but in the end, after a lot of personal testing, I have finally managed to make them work.

The update is now live on both Patreon and Ko-Fi! I'll also be posting side stories in the coming days and opening ideas/suggestions for next month's side stories, so if you're also interested in supporting me while also getting these exclusive contents, please do consider becoming a member! 💖🥰

What's to expect from the new update:

Dropping Rin off to their apartment (and maybe, if you've been a good boy/girl, you can get a little smooch 😘)

Have an angsty talk with Uncle Luka 😥

But don't worry, there are potential wholesome moments too (if you choose them, of course 😉)

Another POV of the killer 😈 To see more on how they think and what they know so far.

Brand new skip chapter function! (Currently only for Chapter 6)

An autosave and reload function! (Currently only for Chapter 6)

Plus some new little stuff added in previous chapters.

For those waiting for the Public Update, it'll be available on 7th November, 12 AM (GMT +8) 🎉 So mark your calendar!

[Patreon] | [Ko-Fi]

[cipheramnesia]

This is the process my brain goes through every time I see anything about Netflix Avatar The Last Airbender.

My first reaction is always: Why? The original, although not without flaws, doesn't leave a lot of room to improve. A good remake or adaptation usually involves an updated context or change in perspective that adds to the original work and gives it new meaning. It's a risky undertaking because it usually involves wanting to take on something established as iconic and make it your own. But Netflix is a corporation and seems very risk averse for the most part. Its only investment is in the name recognition of AtLA. It's hard to visualize Netflix deliberately taking a big risk on an expensive show.

My second reaction is: How? The original series is about 1400 minutes over 61 episodes, and it still had to rush the ending. We're looking at 8 episodes of roughly 45-60 minutes per episode for season 1, which would require Netflix to let it run more than 3 seasons, if the series has similar pacing. Historically however Netflix shows have glacial pacing, and rarely make three seasons. Not really sure how they plan to tell the story if the series is anything like the average Netflix series, meaning it either needs to undercut the story or let the series breathe for at least five seasons. But nothing Netflix has done makes me want to watch anything they make as an ongoing series? Why bother, they cancel everything I enjoy. So I wonder how. What's the hook to say "this will be able to provide something new and interesting compared to the original, and will be allowed to tell the complete story."

Which leads me to think, but you can't judge if something is good without seeing it. Except none of this is about whether it's good, I just find myself wondering what are the odds it's worth the effort? They're low, and it has nothing to do with whether or not it's even any good on its own merits.

Following this, I ask myself, what would a good version of this be. Imagine you are making a live action series with eight hour long episodes per season based on a children's cartoon with 20 thirty minute episodes per season. You are trying to encompass a story which was presented over three seasons as a cartoon, and you do not know if you will have more than those eight episodes. It's made for Netflix which, in terms of a company which will protect the hard earned fruits of your artistic labor, is the fox guarding the henhouse. What do you do?

If you are looking to make something good, that respects your audience investment and your own work, you make radical changes to the story. You change the pacing, the character arcs, the plot arcs. You make sure you deliver a complete story in those episodes with as much respect for the original work and as many new ideas as you can.

Except, at that point, what is even the point of a remake. The only way to work with it is either to trust Netflix allowing you to finish the story (which you'd need to be incredibly naive to do), or tell a story so different it may as well be wholly original. And that's where I always end up. Like, it'll probably be fine, but what's the point of it all? Another vanishing digital property to get canceled because of some undefinable failure to return on investment.

I think about it a lot because the two ends of the spectrum seem to be "dunk on every new piece of information" or "wait and see" but the only conclusion I can ever reach is "why even care?" That's been the lesson to take home from digital streaming in general when it comes to series, but Netflix in particular, and honestly for movie series too. If it can't be self contained, the companies who produce and release these kinds of series just cannot be trusted with it, and there are too many good original stories being put out to care anymore about big budget promises that one day they will definitely for sure deliver a finished story, this time for real.

I care enough to think about why I don't feel anything at all about Netflix Avatar. It'll be fine, whatever else. Just fine.

[imaginingbleach]

Something that randomly came to mind...

Enjoy!

(NSFW below the cut; espadas included: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 & Neliel)

Struggled a bit with 8, so forgive me. 😭

Types of Doms they are:

Starrk

This man has got exactly two modes when it comes to sex. Lazy or feral.

He's willing to do a lot with you, but if you catch him in his lazy mode you'll likely be doing most of the work.

Ride him, suck him, hell he'll even give you oral if you both find the right positions for him to laze a out.

Just remember: It's not that he isn't enjoying himself; that rock hard dick proves otherwise...

You knew what you were getting into.

Now then, switching gears: when he's feral, he'll barely let you move.

He's making you cum a minimum of one time before he's even going to penetrate you in any way.

He gets very possessive in this state.

Congratulations! You've essentially got a werewolf boyfriend who's usually lazy and can't transform like that...

But! When he needs to claim you for whatever reason? Welp!

Communication is key with this man! He doesn't mind if you have multiple partners, but he can get a bit jealous if you don't tell him!

Hell, you'll find out on more than one occasion, when someone flirts with you...

He'll bring you home and claim you all night long.

He might not even make it home.

Just... Keep him in the loop if you're crushing or plan to date another. it'll probably save some furniture.

Halibel

As she can't quite use her mouth outside of being in her release form, she's had time to master plenty of other ways to get you off.

She prefers to use her hands and fingers on you, but is not opposed to toys in anyway.

That's primarily for when she's doing any for of penetration on you, though.

She has learned to use any and every part of her body to be able to tease you and leave you squirming and begging for her.

Don't call her master. It reminds her of her fraccións.

May accept being called mommy under the right circumstances, though.

Has absolutely no issues with being called daddy.

Just sit on her lap and ask daddy politely if you can ride her thigh~

Not one to get jealous easily, but is definitely protective.

This is particularly true if you are someone who can be seen as weak to others.

Not very loud, but loves hearing how loud she can make you.

Ulquiorra

He struggles a lot with more human like needs and emotions

So he tends to be a heavy service top...

But it comes with so many questions.

"Why does your face warm when I kiss you?"

"Why do you avert your gaze when I-"

You get the idea.

Eventually once repeated behaviors rise up, he starts catching on.

When you make this sound, it means you really like it.

When you squirm, you're not actually trying to get away.

Just simple stuff, but you'll have had to explain it to him a bit before he starts connecting the dots.

Once he's more comfortable with you and starts recognizing these reactions...

You're in for it.

He's definitely someone who gets off on your pleasure.

As long as you're satisfied, so is he.

Nnoitra

He surprisingly doesn't mind being the one to do all the work.

It let's him be in control of, well, everything.

There's something about seeing how much you get off on everything he does to you that drives the predator in him wild.

He enjoys having control, and, having you submit to let him do whatever he wants is too delicious to pass up.

Plus, he can't help but enjoy the way you always act like such cute little prey when he's teasing you.

Those big doe eyes, the small squeaky and whiny noises you make...

The way he can make you come undone with almost any part of his body...

It's very >:))

Not entirely against sharing, but like with Starrk, if it's not discussed he can get a bit jealous

His jealousy, however, is usually more rage fueled than hormonal so watch out for that.

He's not too into being called anything "special"

May accept "daddy" now and again

Despite how kinky sex with him might be-- it is fueled by emotions (at least on his end)

You've sparked his interest in one way or another enough to warrant wanting to carnally claim you...

There's at least some attachments and calling him "master" immediately throws that out the window to him.

Grimmjow

He definitely still has some characteristics from his more beastial hollow form

His need to claim you is always in battle with his desire to see you submit to him

Kneel before the king and offer him a blowjob, he's grinning wider than Nnoitra

Seeing you beg him to pleasure you is just 😘

Part of the problem with him is that it's a bit difficult for him to give oral... Given that he has to be very conscious of every move he makes because of his hollow mask

But he is a god with his hands.

He's another one who likes to watch you ride his thighs.

Absolutely gets off on being called king, but will absolutely bust a nut if you refer to him as your husband (romantic partner ofc)

This is at it's worst before any kind of marriage, but it's still effective after.

Doesn't see the appeal in being called daddy until he *is* a daddy 👀 something about being one makes it kinkier to him for you to call him daddy

Szayel

A bit different from the others on the list in that he wants to be worshipped like a god.

He wants you to use your entire body to do so, but this is just the first act-- no form of penetration just yet. (Minus maybe deep throating him~)

Now, once that's all done he's got PLENTY of ways to pleasure you...

He's definitely into orgasm denial and overstimulation.

He likes testing your body~

If you're willing, definitely would do some experimenting...

He wouldn't do anything too drastic, though.

If not, he'll find a way to make some of his palatable for you~

You really should thank him for thinking of you.

So/so with names. The higher status the name gives him, the more he'll like it.

Neliel

Dommy mommy 🥰

She absolutely loves to spoil you during kinky times together

Another one who gets off more on your pleasure than her own

If you're not a pillow prince(ss) type of sub, she will boss you around a bit~

But she's so sweet when she does that it just has you melting at her every word

"What was that, baby? Tell mommy what you want~"

She might tease you with that one by having you with a gag in your mouth or other things 🤭

Absolutely does get off on taking care of you

Dotes on you, takes great lengths into making sure you're comfortable during aftercare!

Doesn't matter how you compare size wise to her, she's holding you on her and letting you rest your head on her chest

Makes an amazing pillow ngl

[snorlaxlovesme]

alright everybody, it's time we talked about Hostage. (buckle up because this is going to be long, but it'll be worth it)

season 2 episode 8 of Link Click was one of the most confounding episodes in the entire season while airing. starting with Lu Guang's insane boat crash/martial arts smackdown rescue of Cheng Xiaoshi and ending with Cheng Xiaoshi diving into a photo to possess Lu Guang to get answers for his actions, from start to finish it was a wild ass ride where we, the fandom, AND the characters spent the whole time questioning Lu Guang and his motives

and...puzzlingly... didn't really get an answers by the end of the season

Lu Guang wasn't granted any post-climax time to explain what happened that day from his perspective, and while Cheng Xiaoshi was possessing him he didn't get any answers because he literally WAS Lu Guang, just doing whatever the hell he thought he needed to do.

the thing about Hostage that has always felt extremely off to me, is that we DO get explanations for Lu Guang's actions during the episode, but they're from people wholly unqualified to be giving them.

Captain Xiao finds Lu Guang's phone, hidden in a folded towel, and concludes that Lu Guang had left them clues. Qiao Ling, after seeing that Lu Guang had taken a photo that night, came to the conclusion that Cheng Xiaoshi must have been the one possessing Lu Guang during his deranged rescue plan at the pier, seeing as Lu Guang wasn't an adept fighter at the dojo and he was acting extremely impulsive. She even goes so far to say, later in the episode, that Cheng Xiaoshi HAS to dive into the photo, because it's already happened, and needs to follow Lu Guang's words to not change the timeline.

all of these assumptions, to me, are horseshit

I refuse to listen to ANYTHING Captain Xiao says. one, because he simply does not know these kids and should not be making assumptions about them, and two he is in fact the worst cop in the world. and Qiao Ling, bless her heart, has only found out how their powers work mere DAYS ago and doesn't understand the nuances of them at all

so I'm gonna debunk all that nonsense and explain to you what Lu Guang's REAL actions were that night, and what was up with that cryptic photo he took

now you might be thinking, Kelly, you're not even starting in the right place, because those weren't Lu Guang's actions, they were always Cheng Xiaoshi's, just in Lu Guang's body!

FALSE. on two counts! we have evidence of Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi performing the act of escaping the hospital differently. Lu Guang does not use the kettle to break the window to distract the cops. we're not sure what he uses, but that kettle is still there.

Lu Guang also places his phone face down in the towel

while Cheng Xiaoshi places it faceup

so by the end of the episode we have literal, physical evidence that these two performed this timeline differently, and therefore it was not "Cheng Xiaoshi the whole time" like Qiao Ling tried to misinform us to believe. i also have another Big Brain post [x] that explains why Lu Guang being an impulsive, supposedly "good" fighter during that pier rescue scene are both in-character for him.

(and if we wanna get really nitpicky about how an injured Lu Guang could have raced across town in his condition, i simply believe that Lu Guang was smarter about it that Cheng Xiaoshi, and probably took a bus or cab. Cheng Xiaoshi, pure of heart and dumb of ass, ran because HE physically could while inhabiting Lu Guang's body. our injured catboy did not sprint across town while holding his organs in place)

so if we already have all this cold, hard evidence stating that Lu Guang really is THAT bitch and did all that shit on his own, what the hell is my problem? why can I not let this episode go?

BECAUSE I WANNA KNOW WHY LU GUANG TOOK THAT PHOTO

Captain Useless seems to think that Lu Guang took that photo as some sort of helpful clue left behind for the gang

but what, pray tell, was this photo supposed to tell us without someone with Lu Guang's powers there to interpret it? without Lu Guang to tell him what to do, Cheng Xiaoshi left to his own devices knows just as much as himself as he does possessing Lu Guang

and, the bigger question, is if this was supposed to be some sort of almighty clue for the gang, why did he not text this photo to either Qiao Ling or Cheng Xiaoshi before escaping the hospital? he took the time to text Qiao Ling the location of the boat, did he not? why not the photo too? seems like a crappy way to clue someone in, to take a photo and save it on your password protected phone that you just went out of your way to hide from plain sight

because that's the thing! after the season finale we discover that Lu Guang's password is literally a reminder of his dive, or even more specifically, a reminder of his trauma. we KNOW that he didn't share his password with Cheng Xiaoshi, he just just happened to figure it out on his own

so tell me how Lu Guang expected this trauma-password protected phone, with it's one singular picture, to get in the hands of Cheng Xiaoshi, hmm? riddle me THAT

so we've established by now that 1. Lu Guang's actions in the beginning of episode 8 were indeed his own and 2. that photo was never meant to be seen by Cheng Xiaoshi, who shouldn't have known Lu Guang's passcode

given the trauma-passcode, we have to believe that the only person ever meant to see this photo was Lu Guang. i've made ANOTHER post previously [x] stating that Lu Guang might have used his powers in a way we haven't known possible, by taking a photo and using his Blue Eyes White Dragon powers to see 12 hours into the immediate future

plausible, but not what i'm about to propose now.

because I think Lu Guang took that photo as a contingency plan

listen, the only person who had ANY credentials to theorize what Lu Guang was up to that night was his trusted partner. while Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao spouted their nonsense theories, Cheng Xiaoshi said the only smart thing that entire brainstorming session

and I think Cheng Xiaoshi was right. he wasn't wrong in assuming this photo was a Save Point of sorts, the only thing he was wrong about was who would be using it

the only other person in this show capable of diving into a photo, we find out during the finale, is Lu Guang

we also find out in the finale that powers are transferrable, and it looks like they transfer when the owner of that power dies in someone else's arms

Lu Guang took that photo that night NOT for Cheng Xiaoshi to find and use, but for LU GUANG himself to use. i believe Lu Guang firmly believed that Cheng Xiaoshi was to die that night, and he would do everything in his power to make sure he had a chance to change it again if he needed to.

that meant:

1.taking a photo on his phone as a Save Point.

2. hiding his phone in the hospital bathroom so it could not be taken from him or busted later in the night. and

3. racing to where he knew Cheng Xiaoshi would be, so he could either

4. a.) rescue him, or b.) ensure that during CXS's death, the diving power was transferred back to him so he could do the night over again.

Lu Guang took that photo as contingency plan to save Cheng Xiaoshi's life should he get killed that night.

but that plan was botched when Cheng Xiaoshi used it instead to possess Lu Guang, because each photo can only be used once.

which might also explain why Lu Guang was SO DISTRAUGHT when Cheng Xiaoshi was shot

they had deleted all their photos earlier that week to prevent the twins from possessing them remotely

that was the last photo Lu Guang had taken. the ONLY photo on his phone. if Cheng Xiaoshi died that night, there would have been no Save Point to return to

[one-britt-to-rule-them-all]

Can we get *ahem* anatomy (dick) headcanons? Like, bad dragon, inhuman vibes because we stan monster fuckers? I'm thirsty for everyone, so do your faves or something haha.

Yes, yes we do stan monster fuckers in this house. My faves you say? Have all the brothers because I'm feeling generous today.

What their anatomy is like [AKA dick HCs]

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor

Genre: NSFW

Pronouns: GN [You/Your] for the most part. There are some sections that have headcanons that mention female anatomy, but they are marked with [AFAB], so you can avoid it if it makes you uncomfortable. 💕

CW: | Teratophilia | Explicit sexual content | Implied Poly!Reader in some sections |

Notes: This turned into an odd mixture of what their dicks look like and other general NSFW headcanons because I didn’t just want to plaster a link and go ‘this is what it looks like.’ It’s still centred around their anatomy, but there are other HCs mixed in. ☺️

Minors, DNI. NSFW content.

Lucifer

Based off the Demogorgon dildo.

• Lucifer's cock is as gorgeous as it is intimidating. It's a pretty dark red colour that has a highlight of black over it, and with the pronounced curve and lovely texture, you'll get some very pleasant G-spot stimulation.

• The tip of his cock is rather large, so it will take quite a bit of preparation to properly take, but if you thought it would be smooth sailing from there, well you're just naive, huh? If you thought the tip was hard to take, you'll be in for a nasty surprise when you suddenly find yourself having a white-knuckle grip on the sheets when Lucifer bottoms out.

• Because holy fuck, the base of Lucifer's cock is huge, and at 9.5 inches and being amongst the largest of the seven brothers, you're going to be filled to the brim and won't be able to form a single coherent thought.

• And Lucifer can only smirk at your reactions because he knows. He knows that he looks good, he knows that he's big, and he knows that he's bruising you from the inside, and sadistic as he is, he loves watching you struggle to take him.

• Lucifer's cock practically throbs with excitement every time you scream out how much you love his cock, how big he is. It's his sin at work, but he will slow down and edge you until he can get you begging and whimpering those sweet words. He'll make sure you fuel his pride before he resumes fucking into you, and he's a very patient man, so he can do it all night if you want to be difficult.

• Lucifer is very warm. There's no particular reason or explanation as to why he's got this particular quirk with his anatomy, but his cock runs warmer than the rest of his body, and his pre-cum and cum even warmer — somewhat comparable to molten wax. It's actually great for stimulation, and it'll feel all the nicer if you're blindfolded to heighten your senses.

• And you best believe that Lucifer greatly enjoys depriving you of your senses, so he'll be using this part of him to his advantage.

• Another quirk of his is that when he's aroused, he shifts into his demon form. Lucifer doesn't necessarily mean to do it, but his instincts scream at him to do it. It has something to do with being at his most elegant-looking because the prideful demon in him wants him to make sure you'll be seduced. Kind of like his symbolic animal.

• He has quite the strong and imposing scent, so you best believe that other demons will know who fucked you so good that you can barely walk a straight line.

Mammon

Based off the Demon Dick dildo.

• In of itself, the shape of Mammon's cock is pretty standard when it comes to demons — mainly with the elongated, pointed and spade-like tip — but that doesn't make it any less impressive, being a good 8 inches in length with a pretty generous shaft in terms of girth, but all without being too uncomfortably large. His cock isn’t too odd of a colour when compared to his brothers. It follows his tan skin, though the tip is a faint, dark red colour, and his veins are pitch black.

• He’d rather kiss Lucifer’s shoes before admitting this out loud, but Mammon is actually rather insecure about his dick. He’s not overly fond of how seemingly… plain it is. Especially if you’ve been intimate with any of his brothers prior to him, he’ll worry that he won’t be able to live up to your expectations and seem mediocre in comparison. So, please praise and worship him — make Mammon understand that he’s perfect just the way he is.

• After he sees just how good he’s fucking you, how you’re drooling about how good his cock feels, his ego soars. He slides in so wonderfully, and you wrap around him so nicely that it feels like your hole was meant to take his, and only his cock. And as your first man, it drives him absolutely over the edge — of course you're meant for him.

• The thing is, being a higher-ranking demon, Mammon's anatomy does differ in a way that makes a huge difference in the pleasure you'll be receiving with him versus a regular demon. What he has that lessers don't, are tantalizing, scale-like ridges, running from the underside of his tip all the way to the base, as well as smooth yet prominent bumps running down his shaft.

• I can guarantee that Mammon will have no problem pulling orgasm after orgasm from you; the texture of his cock just hits all of the right spots. And honey, it’s a promise that he’ll make a mess out of you. It’s his mission to make sure you’re both covered in a mixture of both his and your cum.

• The ridges on the underside of his cock are very sensitive, so get on your knees for him and tease the scales with your tongue. He’ll come undone so beautifully for you. 💕

• [AFAB] Similarly, he loves getting a pussy job from you. Straddle his lap and let him grip your hips so that he can slowly guide your movements. He lives for the feeling of your slick pussy rubbing against the ridges, and on the flip side, having them glide against your clit will threaten to make you double over in pleasure.

• It won’t take too long for his insecurities to diminish, and you’ll be sure that he’s gonna be bragging about how much you love his cock.

Leviathan

Based on the Orochi dildo.

• Oh, Levi. Sweet, awkward, easily-flustered, shy little Leviathan.

• Yeah, he's fucking hung. He's the perfect example of the shy, nerdy boy who's secretly got a monster cock trope — figuratively and literally.

• Out of the seven brothers, Levi is actually the second largest in terms of girth, beating Lucifer by just a bit. Sitting at a respectable 7 inches, no, he doesn't have the most length, but does he really need it when he has a thick, scaly and heavily textured cock as he does?

• Or two.

• No, you're not hallucinating, (Y/N), Levi has two cocks. Huh? But he only had one a few days ago? You'd be correct, but Levi will let you in on a little secret: he has a second cock sheathed beneath a little slit hidden within the pretty scales lining his pelvic area. He is a sea monster and a demon, after all.

• So, what are you in the mood for? Do you want a smooth ride? Maybe you're feeling a little lazy or worn out from your day and think you only have the energy to handle one cock? No problem. Or maybe you're feeling like an utter monster-fucking whore and want to be stuffed to the brim with two, fat demon cocks? Leviathan's got you.

• It did take a lot of courage for him to show you this part of him; he was pretty awkward about it and was persuaded that it’d scare you off and that you’d break up with this gross, worthless shut-in of an otaku with weird-looking di—

• Please don't tease him about his reptile-like anatomy. He's super insecure about it, but he does — slowly but surely — come to appreciate it more when he realizes just how much of a monster-fucker you are.

• What's not to love? His shaft is covered in smooth scales and lined with mouth-watering bends and curves, and add the thick, textured tip, and you've got one of the most unique monster-cocks you'll take. From the head to the base, he's a really pretty orange that fades into a gold colour.

• When you want to take both of his cocks, Levi is in a bit of a mental limbo. On one hand, can a human even take two at once? Especially if it's in the same hole?? He doesn't want to hurt you! But on the other hand... fuck, that's hot.

• He's come to realize that he has a huge kink for interspecies sex. So, seeing his human stuffed full of serpentine cock brings out the unhinged Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy in him.

• Loves having you suck on one while he jerks off the other. Getting to cum both in your mouth and on your face? Fuck yes. But be warned that Leviathan cums a lot. He has the heaviest loads among his brothers.

• One thing he loathes about his anatomy is that the scales on his cock(s) do shed every other month. You'll know when he's preparing to shed because he's constantly shifting uncomfortably because of how itchy he is, and he refuses to let you see him naked when in this state. The scales are so dull and ugly-looking — to him — and he doesn't want to gross you out.

• Eventually — with a lot of reassurance — he does let you see him while in shed, and yes, the scales are dull-looking, but that doesn't really matter, because you've both come to discover that being surrounded by your warmth helps calm the itch until the old scales are ready to come off.

• So, cockwarming the sea demon becomes a regular when he's in shed. It's a really intimate thing between the two of you, and it's honestly quite sweet, especially knowing that it's a really vulnerable moment for Levi.

Satan

Based off the Austin dildo.

• At first glance, Satan’s cock seems pretty normal. Hell, it almost looks like humanoid anatomy, and if you’ve been intimate with any of his brothers before, this might make you raise a bit of an eyebrow. Like, it’s very nice looking and definitely looks like it’ll fit so nicely inside of you. After all, it is a good 8.5 inches with just the right amount of girth to feel amazing without causing any initial discomfort.

• Sure, he’s got some very nice ripples at the underside of his tip, but that was about the only non-human thing you could make out. Even in terms of colour, it’s the same colour as his skin tone.

• He fits inside of you so perfectly, so there’s really no reason to complain. Besides, are you really going to bitch to Satan that his cock isn’t ‘demonic’ enough for you? Just lay back, spread your legs and let him bottom out so that he can—

• Oh… oh he has a fucking knot.

• Surprise! Among the brothers, Satan is one to have a more animalistic type of anatomy, having the canine-like feature of a knot — a thick one at that. It’s a bit of a challenge to fit; it’ll stretch you quite a bit, and Satan will have to gently ease it into you to avoid too much discomfort.

• But once it’s in, and you’re properly stretched, well… let’s just say that Satan’s demon instincts will be getting the best of him, so prepare for a long night of screaming and climaxing.

• And yes, his knot does swell when he cums, so you’ll be locked in some cockwarming sessions between rounds. These will probably be the more romantic and intimate moments of sex with Satan because otherwise, Satan’s cock was meant to breed and fuck senseless.

• You’ll be walking — crawling — out of his room with bite marks and deep scratches littering your body, and maybe even bruises from areas that he gripped too hard. Whenever his knot swells, his claws and fangs just… come out — it’s an instinct. But don’t worry, Satan is so good, gentle and attentive with aftercare. You won’t hurt at all when he’s done with you. 💕

• Satan’s scent is the strongest amongst the brothers, and it’s a highly territorial scent. He doesn’t do it on purpose, it’s just how his body is during intercourse.

• Even if you’ve fully cleaned yourself, even days after you’ve had sex with him, everybody will be able to smell him on you. Everybody will know that you’ve been fucked by Satan. For a good two to three days, none of the brothers will fuck you because they can still smell the scent of Satan’s cum between your legs, even when you’re clothed, and they know better than to try anything. Seriously: Asmo got growled at, Mammon’s arm was nearly mauled one time, and he nearly jumped Belphegor. Even Lucifer doesn’t try anything until Satan’s smell naturally starts to dim.

• You know it’s intense when Lucifer won’t even bother. That’s enough to make Satan’s ego hit the ceiling.

Asmodeus

Based off the Lenneth dildo.

• One would think that a sex demon like Asmo would be well-endowed, but surprisingly, Asmo is the smallest of all the brothers. He’s sitting at 6.5 inches, and although his girth is above average for a human, by demon standards he’s rather average.

• But don’t worry about that, because that shit doesn’t matter. The Avatar of Lust can do things with his cock, so lacking in size in comparison to his brothers does not hinder his confidence whatsoever. He’s gorgeous, and he knows what he’s doing, so why would he be bothered?

• First, let’s establish just how pretty he is. He has a nice, long and pronounced head, and although his shaft is slim, it curves very nicely and can hit some amazing spots, and he’s very textured. He doesn’t have as many ridges as Mammon does at the underside, but Asmo does have a few of them. They’re less scale-like than Mammon and feel more like flesh. The tip is pink and fades into a very light purple at the base.

• What’s the most interesting about Asmo is that he has a lot of… perks. You see, he has extra glands in his system that allows him to secrete fluids similar to pre-cum of various effects during intercourse

• For example, he can secrete a type of pleasure-enhancing aphrodisiac. Doing so will make sure that all of your sweet spots become even more sensitive. The more of the aphrodisiac he secretes, the more sensitive you’ll become, and it can get to a point where it can be so torturous that the slightest puff of air between your legs will have you pulsing and whimpering.

• [AFAB] He loves leaking little drops of his aphrodisiac onto your clit and watch with a sly grin as you cum over and over from the slightest little movement before even getting to the main event. Whether it’s with slow strokes of his fingertips or tongues — yes, he has multiple — or by lightly tapping you with his cock, you’ll be fucked out before you even know what hit you.

• Other things he can do include increasing his or your fertility, but on the flip side, he can also produce a contraceptive liquid, making it safe for him to cum inside of you should it be a potential issue.

• With another type of aphrodisiac, he can make your sex drive go absolutely insane, meaning that you’ll be able to go for multiple earth-shattering orgasms without feeling your energy drop. In fact, the effects are so potent that you’ll be begging for him to make you cum on his cock over and over because ‘Asmo, it hurts, I need to cum so bad.’ He’ll get you so bothered that you’ll feel like you may die if he doesn’t rail you with that pretty cock of his.

• And in general, Asmo has the best technique of all his brothers, so he doesn’t need a monster-sized cock to have you fucked stupid. His cock just seemingly hits all of the right spots so effortlessly, and he’ll make sure that you’ll come crawling back to him after he’s done with you.

• Asmo can and will ruin everybody else for you. You’ll understand one of the core reasons why his fans love him so much.

Beelzebub

Based off the Hunter dildo.

• Oh boy. It's no secret that Beelzebub is a big guy, and yes, the same goes for his cock. The man doesn't even need to be naked or even hard for you to notice the sizable bulge in his pants. It's as if nothing can properly contain him.

• Being the largest of all the brothers — and can rival Diavolo himself — Beel is packing 10.5 inches of thick, heavy cock. Unless you have very large hands, you'll barely be able to wrap both of your hands around him. He really was crafted by God himself — muscular and absolutely blessed in every way possible.

• He's intimidating, that's for sure. Don't worry too much though, Beel is a gentle giant and will take his time making sure you're comfortable, relaxed and properly ready for him. He won't be mad at you if you can't fit all of him, because he's happy to be inside you, even if it's just the tip.

• Mention how big he is compared to you, and you'll have him flustered, because fuck, you look just so cute and tiny. Compare parts of yourself to his cock: your face, your forearms, your hands, etc — the size difference is actually insane, and he's all for it. As gentle as he is, he can't deny that he's eager to see the small, fragile human get destroyed.

• He loves seeing you suck on the tip of his cock, eagerly and desperately trying to fit more of him in your mouth. Watching you struggle just stirs something in his gut.

• Starting at the tip, Beel's cock is a light bronze but fades into a darker brown from the middle all the way down to the base. He's got it all, really — a nicely pointed and slightly curved tip, plates lining the top, curves in all the right places and breathtaking, large bumps lining his frenulum and base.

• He'll make sure that you cum multiple times before he even thinks of sliding inside of you — with his fingers, his mouth and even various dildos, using one larger than the last with every orgasm you have.

• Beel always uses extra lube, but no matter how much he does for you, the stretch is unavoidable. He'll take his time, and admittedly, Beel basks in the way merely entering you has your tongue lolling out and your eyes rolling back.

• He starts slow, but with his size, even with the slowest of thrusts you feel like your insides are getting pulverized, but fuck, he hits all the right spots so well. He's so large and perfectly textured that there's no area getting neglected.

• But when you're properly adjusted and begging him to go harder, you can pay your respects to your legs, because sweet baby Beel is gone, and demon lord Beelzebub is here.

• He'll make you grip the sheets so hard your knuckles will turn white, and you'll either be screaming or struggling to find your breath from the sheer size of him. No in between

• There's always a bulge in your stomach from his cock, and his palm will always be pressed up right against it.

Belphegor

Based off the Chance dildo.

• Belphegor, along with Satan, has one of the more animalistic-looking dicks amongst the brothers and takes the expression of 'having a horse cock' to dangerously literal levels. The first time you were intimate, Belphie was admittedly worried that his anatomy would turn you off, frighten or gross you out. Even for demon standards, Belphie's anatomy was uncommon, so he couldn't even begin to imagine what you — a human — would think.

• Good thing that you're a monster fucker and absolutely fucking drooled when he shed his clothes, huh? That certainly helped his ego.

• Firstly, let’s establish that his cock, from the tip all the way down to his balls, is pitch black, except for a small group of splotches — similar to his cow-like spots on his shoulder — at the middle that are dark purple

• If his twin is the largest, then on the flip side, Belphegor has the most impressive length amongst the seven demon brothers, being a jaw-dropping 12.5 inches which actually makes him bigger than Beelzebub in terms of length. Just looking at the outline of his bulge trailing down his thigh is telling enough of what you're in for.

• If you catch this demon wearing only sweats and no boxers, well... try not to stare between his legs too much. Or do. Belphie doesn't mind. He'll put on a little show for you if he's feeling generous. Or he'll call you out for being a little whore, especially if his brothers are nearby.

• He may not have the most girth, but Belphegor doesn't even need it to make an incoherent mess out of you. You're in for a lot of depth play, and it will take quite the effort for you to take all of him. And honestly? Seeing you squirm and whimpering how 'it's too deep, Belphie,' as he bottoms out? That just makes him harder.

• The tip of his cock is naturally rather wide, but when aroused, it flares and grows in size, and the shape of it will assure that every single little sweet spot of yours gets abused — every single spot, at every angle, over and over again. It's definitely the hardest part of him to fit inside of you, and you may need extra lube and prep to lessen the initial discomfort, but once it's in, and you're properly adjusted, it's a pretty smooth ride.

• He's veiny from top to bottom, and they are prominent, adding all the more texture that will never fail to have you wonderfully fucked out. Add the bulging ring in the middle of his shaft, and you can only imagine the myriad of sensations he'll be providing. So yeah, girth? Doesn't need it.

• Belphie loves having you ride him — whether you're front facing so that he can play with your chest, or in reverse so that he can smack your ass as you bounce, he doesn't care. While this does stem from his laziness, it's also to let you get comfortable at your own pace; taking a monster-length cock can be uncomfortable, so unless you explicitly state you want him to pound into you, he'll let you take him as you please.

• But be warned, if you do ask Belphegor to do so, be prepared to feel his cock rail the deepest parts of you. He’ll push your legs against your chest and fuck you like a sadistic demon in heat. He'll rearrange your insides with no mercy shown unless you yell out a safe word, and he will knock the wind out of you with every single thrust and pull streams of tears from you. That's a promise.

• [AFAB] Although it's not physically possible for a human, Belphie can and will fuck so deep into you that it'll feel like he's gonna breach and breed your womb.

• Now, who wants to get double-stuffed by the twins? Belphie might just share with Beel.

I hope you liked these!

Also, what do you think of Levi’s section? I know some like him with one, and some like him with two. I know I like reading fics with either option, so I said ‘fuck it, I’m grabbing those two HCs, mashing them up together, and this is their love child.’

I struggled the most to find ideas for Satan and Lucifer, but I think they came out alright?

Who’s your favourite? I know my bias tends to come through for Belphie and Levi, so I don’t think I need to say it haha.

[purrrtasticsnake]

Imagine: Sunghoon as your sub

Pairing: sub!Sunghoon x femdom!reader

Warning: slight smut, BDSM themes

(This is a repost of something I wrote awhile ago, which got removed from Wattpad, so don't take it too seriously).

~•~•~•~

• Ropebunny: Shibari became a big thing for the both of you. The ropes work like magic on him. Every single time you tie him up, it amazes you how he completely sinks into a deep euphoric subspace, it's almost as if he's in a trance. 

He especially loves any sort of armbinder, because it really emphasizes the fact that he can't touch you with his hands, the way he wants to. 

The hogtie is another favorite. 

You do this tie a lot when you're keeping him as your little hostage. Completely hopeless and restricted, he'll lay down on the ground. This is one of those special moments where he really enjoys being degraded.

• Public: Sunghoon is really embarrassed about his 'special interests'. Only a couple of people know he's submissive. So there's a game you guys like to play where he has to secretly wear certain kink items in public, because he kinda likes the stress of making sure not to get caught. His favorite is off course, wearing a rope harness under his clothes.

He's done this during concerts and interviews countless times. Another one that's way more humiliating is when he has to secretly wear a butt plug or nipple clamps. But he only accepts doing this during casual events like dance practice or while he's hanging out with his friends. Sometimes it'll accidentally make him get hard, which makes this a little more risky for him...

• Objectification: The best way for him to relax is to treat him like a literal object. It's takes away the pressure of having to be a perfect human being all the time. And it also makes him feel useful for you.

Often times you'll ask him to be your footstool. You can relax while reading a book or watching an episode/movie, while he relaxes by just sitting kneeled on the ground with your legs on his back (once in a while you'll feed him a snack or make a little comment about him). Off course, there are more options, like when he's your table for you to eat at. 

Another way he likes to be objectified is by getting 'used' by you sexually. He especially likes it when you ride his face while he's restrained and not able to move.

☆ Choosing Game: ☆

(● = his choice/preference)

1)

● rewards

○ punishments/funishments

2) 

○ getting spoiled by Domme

● servicing his Domme

(But he loves getting spoiled after/while doing a service)

3)

○ petplay

● ageplay

(Even during ageplay he wants to make himself useful for mommy)

4) 

● obedient

○ brat

5)

● praise

● degradation

(He genuinly can't choose, he loves it when you combine both).

6)

● bondage

○ impact play 

7)

○ exhibitionist 

● voyeur

8)

● low protocol 

○ high protocol

(But he's willing to try out high protocol)

[thesleepyfable]

~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 9: ~

When the Walls Crumbled:

This is it. The long awaited Murine/Muirinnes chapter.

Fun fact: This is my first ever romance piece I've done for any fan-fiction. So, I have no idea if this is good or not.

Another fact: I had already completed this chapter before chapters 7 and 8. This was going to be chapter 7, but I had to map out a timeline when I decided this was going to be a mini-arc, and not a time-jump to post-rescue. Plus, during that time, I decided not to have military involvement. What I have instead you'll soon see.

Tw: Parental abuse and gambling.

Part 10:

Innes couldn't sleep. He found himself staring at the container ceiling. Drool ran down the chin, which only momentarily snapped him out of his daydream. Then right back to it. He tried, but no amount of tossing or turning was helping. Even when he was leaned against Muir, he found no comfort. A quick check from his watch showed it was 2:15am.

'Maybe some fresh air will help?' He asked himself.

With a quick glance at Muir, seeing him sleeping peacefully, Innes carefully moved from his side and made it for the door. He'll go outside, sit at the railing, and have a smoke to himself. Or he would do that if a tendril didn't wrap around his waist. Of course, Muir was secretly awake the entire time. Sneaky little shit. Innes accepted defeat with a deflated sigh and turned to see Muir lift him up and place him in front of his face.

'I thought you were asleep.'

Muir ignored the empty statement.

'Innes, what's wrong?' Because he could sense something. His heartbeat wasn't normal, and he felt it sink at the question. Then there were his eyes. For hours, Innes has had a hurt look in them. Even when he cheered for Brodie and Finlay, and when gorged on the leftovers, the look was still there. Plus, even if they've been practically inseparable, Innes couldn't bring himself to look Muir in his. Even now, Innes was clearly looking through him. 'It's okay. You know it'll be okay.'

Words filled and drowned Innes' mind.

'Stupid boy. You deserve this. How can you look at yourself? Stop being a fucking idiot!'

The words Innes would hear from his father and he'd repeat them as self-punishment.

'Don't cry. You're not a man if you cry!'

He wanted to, but a part of him was always afraid to. He feared his father would find out, even over a hundred miles away and being 6 feet under. That man left a mark that was hard to scrub off. No luck. Even Innes had a breaking point. Tears began to fall, and Muir began to wipe them away.

'Why aren't you mad at me?' A lump formed in his throat, and his heart began to race. 'I left you alone. I just ran whilst you turned into,' he gestured to Muir's exposed ribs. 'This. I'm your supervisor. I'm supposed to look out for you. You said that yourself!' He paused to catch his breath, but to no avail. 'I'm so sorry, Muir.'

The guilt had been eating away at him. Since he heard Muir calling out for him in distress. Even if no one could blame him, Innes' heart felt heavy, and he wanted to be sick. In his mind, because of him, Muir will never be human again. His body blew open and turned inside out with ribs exposed and flesh crawling along the hard-hat, which was possibly the reason it didn't spread further. He lost his hair, his mouth was stretched on one side, and most of his lips had melted away, half-blind despite having multiple eyes, and his innards hung inches from the floor. It was all his fault. Muir's cry for help will be something he can never forgive or forget.

'Innes, where ya going?!'

'INNNNNEEEEEEEES!'

'Innes? Help me, Innes!'

'Innes? Where's Innes? I just need help, eh?'

How was Muir able to break down the walls he tried so hard to build? What was this man to him? Innes never cried, and yet in one day, he cried over him twice. Not even his ex-wife got him to cry when she left him for someone else. He didn't cry when his house got repossessed through his gambling. And he certainly didn't cry when he heard his dad had passed. A tendril kept wiping his tears away. Muir pulled him closer, and Innes hugged what he could of his face. He didn't want to let go.

The last 3 years raced through his mind. Innes remembered the day he was called up to Rennick's office. At first, he thought it was because he had rolled up his sleeves and pants because of the unbearable summer heat. He wasn't too happy to hear he'd be looking after a newcomer with no prior training, but he did get a bollocking for the uniform.

Muir stepped off the chopper without a single hair out of place or crease in his uniform. Like all new hires, he had brought too much baggage. A backpack and small suitcase. Innes knew more than half of that wasn't going to see the light of day for months. Always amusing to see. He lingered at the steps with crossed arms and a smirk. Rennick introduced himself with that fake yet convincing smile to the untrained eye. In all honesty, Innes thought Muir had brided his way to become a deckhand. How can someone just leave their family farm and instantly work on an oil rig? Still, he grinned and taught Muir everything he could, even if he kept his walls up.

He couldn't tell when they began to crumble, but whenever there was a crack, he would try to mend it. It was exhausting. A fight he had to surrender because as much as he denied it, feelings started to bloom. He hoped they would go overtime, but the opposite happened. Muir's looks, his smell, his laugh, and even his clumsy nature that has gotten the pair in more than enough trouble, just made Innes -

Oh. That's why. Because for the first time in years, Innes was genuinely happy.

'I love you.' He let out a shakey breath and sniffled as he pulled away. The muscles in his neck twitched as he smiled. The hurt look in his eyes was gone, and he could finally look at Muir. His heart continued to race and skip a beat. 'I wished I told you sooner.' He noticed Muir began to cry, but with a smile on the one side of his face. One of pure joy, as if all the problems in the world had washed away. Now, it was Innes' turn to wipe his tears. He'd noticed his right eye was completely open again, and his nose at some point had been put back into shape.

'I've been waiting three years for you to say that.' He stifled a laugh and lightly squeezed Innes' waist. 'I love you too, my big man.'

'I think that's you now.'

'Don't get smart with me.'

The pair shared a mix of laughter and cries. They pulled each other together for another long hug. Innes kissed Muir above his good eye, then at the bridge of his nose, where they placed their foreheads together. They dried each other's tears. Muir moved his head towards Innes to replicate a nuzzle on a part of his shoulder.

It might be the middle of winter, but they felt warm. It was inviting. It was new. It was something they didn't want to let go of, so they stayed like this. Frozen in time.

Roy opened the door. Neither had come for breakfast, so he thought it was best to check up on them. He found the pair huddled together. Tendrils wrapped around Innes like a blanket, except for his arms hugging them in return. Muir lightly snored, stretched, and gently pulled Innes closer.

He was no expert, but Roy could tell. He slowly closed the door and left the pair. What harm would another hour do?

[tiny-brass-bot]

Hi! I saw a post where you had a game made in godot with old school rendering, do you maybe have any tips on how to make godot render a game like that instead of its normal rendering method?

I'd be right happy to!

I'll try to make this concise lol, I always end up overexplaining and then getting lost in the weeds. Buckle up, it's a loooooot of little little things that all add up.

First off, you should decide which look you're going for. N64 and PS1, the two consoles I'm emulating, both had drastically different specs. (plus, there's plenty of other early 3D systems I've not even touched!)

The N64 had texture filtering (textures were interpolated aka "blurry"), it had floating point vertex precision (points moved correctly), it had perspective correction on its textures (no warping)

The PS1 had no texture filtering, no floating point vertex precision (vertices snap and pop around), affine texture mapping (textures warp weird). I also think the color space they operate in is different? Don't quote me

So you can go hard one way or another or pick and choose what you think looks good! We don't have anywhere near the hardware restrictions they did in the 90s so go nuts.

RESOLUTION

To get a low resolution window, I set the window size of the game and the window override size to different amounts

In green is actually how big the window is on my screen (4k monitor) and in red is the retro resolution I want. If you set the stretch mode correctly (an option a little further down the Window tab) then it'll make the pixels big

COLORS

Now the PS1 had the capability of showing you over 16 million different colors, but it could only display 50,000-150,000 at a time, so in order to get more fidelity out of it, the engineers implemented a dithering effect to better blend the otherwise sharp edges between colors.

I used this shader to achieve the dithering effect. If you don't understand shader languages, that's fine. There are a few different pre-built ones for looking like the PlayStation 1 out there.

TEXTURES

Textures for the PS1 could be as big as 256x256, but they were typically 128x128. And they would squish everything a model needed into there usually, at least with like player models and objects and such.

As mentioned, if you're not good with shader language don't worry. There are countless resources out there that people will either let you use or teach you how it works. But I'm gonna touch on it a little bit here.

PS1 textures had no pixel filtering, so you could see individual pixels.

This is what determines that in the shader code. If you want it to look like the N64 (blurry lol), the proper hint is "filter_linear". Note that it won't be 1:1 with N64, cuz they used bilinear filtering (which kinda sucks and causes weird quirks) whereas now you'll only find linear or trilinear filtering. It's a negligible difference imo.

PS1 textures also were only saved using 15 bit color. I'm told that Photoshop's "Posterize" filter set to 32 can achieve this, but don't use photoshop if you can help it. I use GIMP, and while a newer version might have a posterize filter, or there may be a plugin out there, my version doesn't so I cluge it a little.

Change your color mode to "indexed", set color dithering to how you like it, and the number of colors in the palette to a number to get a good result. Usually I'll do 16, 8, 32, but occasionally I'll cheat and do a non-multiple-of-8 teehee >:3c

You can change it back to RGB after to make further editing easier.

LIGHTING

N64 and PS1 both implemented vertex lighting, as opposed to the more modern and (now) ubiquitous per-pixel lighting. Godot as it is right now (4.2 i think?) claims it has vertex lighting that you can set as a shader property but they're lying and it doesn't work yet.

The old consoles could only handle like, 2 lights though so it doesn't matter much.

The real star of the show, and in my opinion the one thing that makes a game most look like the 90s is the inclusion of vertex colors.

By multiplying the color of your texture by its stored vertex color, you can do all the shading yourself!

Plus you can reuse textures like crazy just by coloring them differently. The N64 also made heavy use of vertex colors by forgoing a texture on models entirely and just painting them using verticies. The only textures on SM64 Mario are his eyes, stache, hat emblem, buttons, and sideburns. Everything else is done with vertex colors.

Here you can see this level from my Crock Land with no vertex coloring, with some of the vertex colors only, and then with the two combined.

Rare loved this. Look at how colorful that cliffside is in Jungle Japes. It makes it so much more interesting than just a brown cliff face. Plus you can see the vertex coloration instead of textures at work on DK and the Gnawty.

My go-to example for PS1 is always Spyro, what a gorgeous game. All of those colors there are not made by a light or an environment. They're hand painted babey! Also! With spyro! The skyboxes are actually just huge domes made up of vertices that are colored in different ways! That's how they can look so colorful and "hi-res".

There's plenty more you can do, like adding a CRT filter or a little bit of chromatic aberration which I haven't gotten into yet.

The way I've learned all this is just by being curious as to how the old consoles did their thing, and slowly accruing the knowledge over time. There's still infinite stuff I don't know too.

I hope that helped! And wasn't too longwinded or confusing! Like I said, it's all about piling up tons and tons of little things, small details, weird graphical quirks that really bring out the retro 3D feel for me.

And I didn't even get into the modeling side of things! That's an entirely different "color-of-the-sky"-sized post though.

I'd be happy to re-explain or explain more about any of this!

[nori-the-cat]

Could you please do the same for Enhypen in the reading you did “What would break RIIZE’s heartbreak and how they would process it” 💕🫶

yes ofc girl 🫶

*whispers* why do u guys do this to me? I almost cried doing riize's but here I am doing it for Enha 😭

Enhypen; Breakup and Heartbreak // Tarot Reading

Remember, tarot readings should be taken with a grain of salt. This tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only.

♡ Heeseung ♡

cards pulled: the chariot, page of swords, 8 of cups reversed, ace of swords, and three of cups

If this guy goes through a breakup, he might seem cool at first. It'll be like nothing fazes him. He'll probably find ways to keep busy and take his mind off things.

He might also chat with his friends, get their take on the situation, and lean on them for support. Even though he wants to figure things out and move on, he could get stuck on the past for a while. It might feel like he's emotionally tied to the relationship, making it hard to fully let go.

But don't worry, this won't last forever. He'll eventually get tired of feeling down. Maybe something will click, or he'll just see things in a new light. This will help him understand his emotions better and move forward from the relationship.

cards pulled: 8 of Pentacles

Heeseung would be heartbroken by the sense that all the effort, time, and dedication he invested in the relationship has come to an end without the desired outcome. He may feel that his hard work to build and maintain the relationship went unappreciated or was ultimately in vain.

♡ Jay ♡

cards pulled: ten of swords rx

He's not the type to dwell on his emotions.

In other words, the tarot card says that if Jay goes through a breakup, it won't be easy, but he's strong! He'll bounce back from the sadness and find ways to feel better over time. It's like a scrape on your knee - it hurts at first, but eventually, it heals up completely.

This guy would also have it hard if he goes through a breakup.

cards pulled: the devil, the fool reversed, 8 of swords, 6 of pentacles reversed, and the sun reversed

Jay would feel stuck in the relationship, even though it wasn't healthy. It's like he's really attached to his ex, but it's also causing him pain. This makes the breakup extra hard.

He might be thinking he was too trusting or idealistic about the relationship. He's sad because things weren't as great as he'd hoped, and he wishes he'd been more careful. It's like his thoughts are stuck on repeat, and he can't see a way out of the pain.

Jay would feel like he gave more to the relationship than he got back. He's heartbroken because it seems like his ex didn't appreciate him enough. The breakup is making everything feel dark and gloomy.

♡ Jake ♡

cards pulled: seven of swords and knight of swords

Somebody, please tell me is he indecisive or is he just a Scorpio man? You guys should listen to Call You Mine by Jeff Bernat. You all will understand what I mean.

First, the cards say Jake might want some space. He might not answer calls or messages right away. This is because another card says he's feeling hurt and wants to protect himself. He might even try to act like everything's okay, even if he's sad inside.

But then, another card says something different. It says that after a while, Jake might get a burst of energy and want to talk things out. He might reach out to his ex or talk to his friends about the breakup all of a sudden. He might even say things he doesn't really mean because he's feeling so strong emotions.

cards pulled: 3 of pentacles and King of Pentacles rx

This one...feels a bit personal.

So the cards say Jake would feel pretty bummed about the breakup. It seems like he would really appreciate the time he had with his ex, you know, quality time and stuff. They probably had some great time together. That's why the split stings extra hard - it feels like the whole team thing just fell apart.

On top of that, Jake might be feeling a little down on himself. He would be thinking the breakup meant he messed up somehow, or that they couldn't keep things stable. It's normal to feel that way, but the cards are saying it's not all on him.

♡ Sunghoon ♡

cards pulled: 2 of wands reversed, queen of wands reversed, the world, 3 of pentacles reversed, and seven of wands reversed

A breakup would make Sunghoon feel lost. He's not sure what to do next, kind of like being lost without a map.

The breakup might be making him feel down on himself. He might not feel as confident or outgoing as usual. It would make him feel less likely to do the things he enjoys or hang out with people as much.

He's a hopeless romantic.

After a while, he would start to see the breakup as an opportunity to become a better person. However, he would feel a little alone like nobody understands what he's going through. He would just bottle up his feelings.

cards pulled: wheel of fortune

Sunghoon might be heartbroken because life can be so unpredictable, and he feels like things are happening that he can't control.

♡ Sunoo ♡

cards pulled: the emperor reversed

Sunoo might feel pressured to stay in touch with his ex out of fear of hurting their feelings, even if it complicates his healing process. This internal conflict can add to his emotional strain.

cards pulled: the hanged man reversed, king of wands, death reversed, 8 of cups reversed, and king of swords

Sunoo might find it particularly heartbreaking to let go of the relationship, feeling emotionally tied to memories and unable to move forward easily. He may feel torn between expressing his feelings passionately and maintaining a composed, logical approach to the breakup.

He may fear the unknown or struggle to accept the end of this chapter in his life, prolonging his emotional pain.

♡ Jungwon ♡

cards pulled: the hierophant reversed and queen of swords

After the breakup, Jungwon would find himself questioning the conventional ideas about love and relationships. He might wonder if societal expectations played a role in the relationship and how he can define his own path moving forward.

Jungwon would also use his clarity and intellect to have honest conversations about the breakup. He may express his feelings openly with his ex, ensuring that there’s no ambiguity about their situation.

Despite his logical approach, Jungwon may find moments where he feels vulnerable and wishes for emotional support, which can be challenging to admit.

cards pulled: ace of pentacles

He may experience sadness about not being able to grow and evolve together with his partner, realizing that the breakup halts any potential development they could have achieved as a couple.

♡ Ni-ki ♡

cards pulled: 4 of cups reversed

When I asked him, I heard Ni-ki say "I don't. I don't deal with heartbreaks". This boy really doesn't like to waste his time.

Instead of isolating himself, Ni-ki would reach out to friends and engage in social activities. He might go out more, participate in group outings, or explore new hobbies to distract himself and find joy.

Literally, there is no space in his head to be sad. LMAO😂

cards pulled: six of cups reversed

Ni-ki might be looking back at happy memories from his relationship, but instead of feeling good, they might actually make him feel sad or even angry. This could make his heartbreak feel even worse. The breakup might also be pushing him to deal with new things in his life that he's not quite ready for. Because of that, he might miss how easy and comfortable things were before.

Channelled songs for this tarot reading:

[danieyells]

hi! any chance you'd be able to post some of kaito's voicelines? I would love to see them <33

Our wanna-be knight and pathetic little best friend! He's just such a good boy lol. . .once again, another one who just wants to go back to a normal life, poor thing. Kaito's very much your vanilla, sweet boyfriend character with no frills attached, aside from his cowardice and his gambling habit of course. And his terrible aim. . . .

Copying all of them over isn't hard now that I've done it twice. Let's do it again for Kaito!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}! Over here! Hiya!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, new message. Better check it out, yeah? Or are you the type who's got like a ton of of unread inbox messages?"

. . .shut up /absolutely that type (and a sincere apology to literally everyone i know for that my adhd doesn't let me read and respond to their messages--)

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"God, please don't make me go on any more missions... It's not like me being there is any help to anyone anyway..."

"Oh yeah, have you been on WickHive yet? Someone leaked next month's cafeteria menu! Oh wait... I-I already told you that, didn't I?!"

"Damn it... I could've taken {PC} to lunch with that money! God, why am I such a moron?!"

"Ask me anything you want to know! I'm pretty savvy when it comes to Darkwick!"

honestly the fact that he's a second year who doesn't wanna be here and doesn't wanna be doing all of this but he still knows like everything about the school is also kinda sus to me. . .surely he'd divest himself from as much of darkwick as possible if he didn't care

"Urgh... Limited time only, you are not my friend... Huh? Oh, I'm on TikTok. I really want this, but I'm pretty broke this month..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ahem... Testing, testing... Morning! Heh, nailed it... Ack! How long've you been there, {PC}?!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Phew, should be safe here... EEEEEEEEEEK! Oh thank god, it's just a cat... I thought he found me..."

romeo oh romeo didn't you get into enough shit for this romeo? just make sure it's not Romeo cat. Because I'm sure it'll tell him somehow--

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Shit, it's Luca… Judging by the outfit he must be going to train. I better bail before he tries to rope me in too…"

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Eeeek?! Oh, it's just you... Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

i know romeo is constantly on his ass, and I relate to the feeling of being scared the people you owe money will appear out of nowhere and get you, but. . .he's so jumpy lol

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ugh, Romeo's texting me... Not gonna open that..."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So your father runs a company, huh? Who the hell leads with that?! This is why I hate talking to Frostheimers..."

so the wording here is wonky because he's quoting a Frostheimer, but there's no visual indication that he's quoting them. But lore drop! Kaito's father runs a company! But I thought he wasn't well off. . .? Maybe his parents are separated or his father doesn't spend any of their money on him. . .or the company isn't doing well. . .or gambling addiction runs in his family lol. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Argh, I want junk food! And I want to try all the new snack flavors!!"

my boy is so relateable--

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"All right, time to man up and bite the bullet... Nope, absolutely not, can't do it!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"How is Jin's skin so perfect? Fucking rich kids and their stupidly expensive fancy-ass toner!!!"

kaito really looking at jin like OH NO HE'S HOT

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"(yawn) Guess I'll go brush my teeth..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey {PC}, you seem different somehow today. Did you change something? Or am I just imagining things?!"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Noooo why does Tohma want to see me...? No way it's about something good! Could you come with me, {PC}?!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Crap, I fell asleep in class so I don't know what our homework is... Help me, {PC}!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, my bed's like a freaking marshmallow. I can never get any good sleep on that thing..."

lol the Frostheim beds are too comfortable lolol I NEED A FIRMER BED TOO KAITO I GET IT.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Huh? Oh, my pendant! You're always wearing it? Does that mean you've actually been paying attention to me?!"

once again the wording here is wonk because it makes it sound like the pc is always wearing Kaito's pendant. I'm pretty sure he's quoting the pc, who's commented that "you're always wearing it". It would read better as something like "You noticed I'm always wearing it?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, how 'bout we grab a bite?! I've got tons to splurge in winn... er, earnings, so it's all on me! Get whatever you want!"

your gambling addiction is really and truly going to get you in trouble. disregard that i play a gacha game.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...Huh?! Man, nearly fell sleep without putting my phone on the charger... 5%, that would've sucked tomorrow..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ha ha ha! Have you seen this yet?! It's all over TikTok. Ah man, it's killing me..."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whoa, when did it get so late?! Sorry {PC}, I didn't mean to keep you up... What? You're still good?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Hey, guess what? Luca's busy after class, so how about we hit up the diner? It's been ages!"

do you. . .do you really wanna go there. . .i mean the drinks seem to be fine but according to sho they can't make good food at all. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Sorry, I gotta stay after class today... (sniffle) This sucks, I really wanted to walk home with you..."

aw buddy. . .they could wait for you or come pick you up after your remedial lesson. . .!

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey I'm really sorry but do you mind if we stop by the campus store after class? I'm almost out of granulated sugar."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Hey, do you like stars? Oh, um, I was just wondering 'cause there's this place where you can see them really well, so I thought maybe you'd want to go some time..."

he's overcoming his fears and being honest with himself and how he speaks and just. . .asking honestly, no bravado, no act. do it scared, kaito. do it scared, do it awkward, do it sure you're going to fail. as long as you do it. proud of you!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sure is dark. Reminds me of the closet where we first met. Remember?"

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I know I'm weak, and a coward. But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor, {PC}."

I love how comfortable and honest he starts to get as his affinity goes up. Still shy here and there, still scared, but he's not as jumpy and he starts treating you like a real friend. laughs with you about stuff, talks a little about hobbies and struggles. doesn't try and look cool for you. and then the honesty--i'm a weak coward, but i wanna be better for you. i wanna spend time with you. just!!! he grows!!! he realizes you like him for who he is and how he is, even if that's a weak coward--and that that's exactly what he wants! and it's okay for him to be that way because you won't be put off by it, even if it's something he'd like to grow from so he can be better for you--but he wants to be better for you as himself and--idk. i have feelings about characterization lol.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, I wanna sleep, but I can't fail, so I gotta show up for class... Oh! I have Professor Nicolas next! Naptime."

does that mean you're good in anomalous medicine class or. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Grr! All those girls in the hall were looking at Luca! I'm so pissed off now I'm not even sleepy anymore!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's finally warm out again, so I really want to go do something fun... Wish I could get an R&R permit..."

well maybe if you stopped sleeping in class and did good in class or went on a mission or something. . . . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Mheheh... {PC}... You've got a petal in your hair... Zzz..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh, it's too hot to go outside... But I can sense a coming-of-age event on the horizon... All right, here I come!"

obligatory beach event? 👀

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Can't believe Professor Hyde still wears that blindfold in summer. Pfft, I bet it's really sweaty under— Eeeek! S-Sir?!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey {PC}, are you free after this? I was thinking of inviting Luca to let off some fireworks! I want to show him how we do summer here in Japan."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I can't believe I get to spend the whole summer hanging out with you {PC}... (sniffle) Homework? Uh y-yeah, I finished it already..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Is it just me, or is it really cold today?! Guess I better get my coat out soon..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Have you had the chestnut rice from the cafeteria yet? They made it way too fancy. It's supposed to be comfort food..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma's always reading something. Maybe I should too... All right, let's go with this! 10 Ways To Become Popular Overnight!"

well. . .it's something to read. . .never a bad idea to read.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Apparently the moon is the most beautiful in fall since the air gets clearer. Want to go take a look?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's freezing out there! It's freezing in here! Frostheim sucks!!"

this makes me wonder what the warmest dorm is on average. . .probably jabberwock as long as towa's in a good mood? (or maybe warm jabberwock winters mean towa's in a bad mood. . .?)

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The cold can go to hell, but I guess there's outfits you can only wear this time of year..."

you can wear whatever you want whenever you want if you're brave enough. but this is kaito and he's not very brave. and it's also not very smart to wear winterwear in the summer.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I really want to go to Starbucks for the new winter drink! But I really really don't want to go on any missions!! Guess I'll never get to try it."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Gram... No... No more mandarins... ...Huh?! Oh, it was just a dream... I haven't had a mandarin for ages..."

'gram' in this case is 'grandma' in case you couldn't figure it out haha and the mandarin(mikan)'s used to represent health and longevity and a long prosperous bloodline or something like that for new years. So i assume his grandmother would feed him a lot of mandarins every winter lolol

His birthday: (December 11th)

"Why did Jin, Tohma, and Luca give me all this high-end stuff?! It's freaking me out!! Thank you!?!?"

EVEN JIN AND TOHMA GAVE HIM GIFTS. . .FROSTHEIM FAM IS REAL. . . .

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}! We'll make this the best one— Hey, give those back! Those are the cue cards I made yesterday!!"

ksjfkhesbfjh he made himself cue cards to give you a birthday speech with as little stuttering as possible. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one! S-So hey, if, er, if you'd like, c-could we, um... could we make our first shrine visit together?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"C'mon Kaito, deep breaths. Girls aren't into guys with no chill. So stay cool... Stay— Are those chocolates for me?! I'll take them to my grave!"

everyone loves an enthusiastic boy lol

White Day: (March 13th)

"Do you like the cookies I made? Come on, no way they're that good, heh heh... Heh heh heh... Here, take them all!!"

god i bet he makes really good sweets too. like i bet he puts so much love and good spirit into them lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'd never lie to a girl. Ah! That's not a lie, I swear! {PC}? Are you listening?!"

BAD THING TO SAY ON APRIL FOOL'S ABORT MISSION

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! See those carved pumpkins? I was actually the one who made them. What do you think?"

given his DIY skills i bet he's actually really good at carving too. i bet they look really good!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, uh, {PC}, do you, uh... Do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm actually totally free!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Huh? {PC}? Am I being annoying?! I'm sorry! You're probably busy, right?!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC} seems kind of busy... I know! I'll find a video that'll help take her mind off things!"

this one replace the first one after you hit a certain affinity, so it's cute to see that he eventually decides 'i'm not being annoying, they're just busy. i wanna help them' after he gets closer to you. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah...! Oh my god, you're back!! I'm so happy to see you!!!!  (sob) Please don't leave me again..."

he's so clingy. . .poor guy really missed you, considering you're one of the kindest and most normal people in Darkwick that he associates with. . . . also man 'please don't leave me again' with the whole loop theory stuff. . . .

I THINK I'VE SAID MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THIS BUT. He really is a sweetie. He really could have ended up a very plain and 'safe' character, but he's managed to be very charming and entertaining with his struggles and exaggerated behavior, while still being a simple and safe type. Really looking forward to seeing how he plays into the rest of the story, since it seems like his pendant may be kind of important. . . .

[misc-obeyme]

Once again, I got to choose the prompt this time! I chose "hot chocolate" from my autumn themed back up list 'cause it sounded so cozy lol. I really wanted to write a scene with Levi that was set somewhere other than his room or MC's room, so this is what I ended up with. Just a short but sweet lil scene. Also I definitely made up some details I'm sure you'll be able to tell immediately which ones lol.

FLUFFTOBER 2023

GN!MC x Leviathan

Warnings: none!

You stood just inside the door to the House of Lamentation, wrapping a purple scarf around Levi's neck. He frowned at you, clearly not at all pleased with how the situation was going.

"I don't see why we have to go to a cafe for hot chocolate when we can make some here," he grumbled as you tucked the scarf into his jacket.

"Don't you think it'll be nice to get out of the house for a bit?" you asked, smiling happily.

Levi shuddered. "I'm an otaku, MC! Why would you ever think I would like getting out of the house?"

You laughed, completely unbothered by his complaints. "It's a good excuse to wear this adorable scarf of yours. You hardly ever wear it and it looks so good on you!"

Levi groaned. "Why do I have to wear it anyway? You sound like Asmo."

"You have to wear it because it's cold outside," you said.

"Just another reason to stay home!" Levi declared, tugging on the scarf like he was going to unwrap it.

You grabbed his hand, which distracted him and made him blush. "Come on, let's go!"

You pulled him out of the front door, down to the street. You kept your hand clasped in his, threading your fingers together. You were rewarded by the deepening color of the blush on his cheeks.

Levi mostly stopped protesting now that you were already outside. He let you lead him down the street, holding onto your hand like a lifeline.

When you finally reached the cafe you had in mind, you were pleased to see that there wasn't much of a line. You felt Levi squeeze your hand hard. You smiled at him, pulling him close as you went inside and got in line.

You pulled Levi along as you got to the counter. "Three Ruri-chan special hot chocolates, please," you said to the demon taking orders.

Levi looked from you to the barista and back again. "What?"

The barista simply nodded, took your money and name, and told you it would be out soon.

You tugged Levi over to a table and sat down. You didn't want to let go of him, so you just held his hand across the table.

"I'm surprised you didn't already know about it," you said to Levi, grinning happily at him. "This cafe is doing a collaboration with the studio that makes Hana Ruri. They got the recipe for the hot chocolate they show in episode 15 of season 8."

Levi tugged down on his scarf so he could speak more freely. "The hot chocolate that Ruri-chan and Azuki-tan drink after they defeated the snowman from space?!"

You laughed, but before you could respond, the barista called your name. You let go of Levi's hand, patting it before getting up to grab the drinks.

You came back shortly, putting the drinks on the table.

Levi exclaimed excitedly. "These mugs!"

"They're limited edition souvenir mugs," you said. "You get to keep them."

Levi looked up at you, his eyes a little teary. "So that's why you ordered three."

"One to keep, one to display, and one to use," you said.

Levi put his hands over his face in an attempt to hide his blush. "M-MC… why didn't you tell me this was why you wanted to come here?"

You reached across the table to pull one of his hands away. "I wanted it to be a surprise! Now hurry up and drink some of this before it gets cold!"

Levi picked up one of the mugs, reluctantly letting go of your hand to do so, and sipped at the chocolatey liquid. You were thrilled to see the smile spread across his face as he closed his eyes happily. "Just imagine. This is what Ruri-chan experienced after the harrowing battle with the space snowman…"

You took one of the mugs and sipped your own. The hot chocolate was actually really good. By then it had cooled off enough that it was the perfect temperature, a delicious sweetness that filled you with warmth. Even so, it wasn't as sweet as the emotions you saw in Levi's eyes when he finally opened them again.

"Thank you, MC," he said quietly, a shy smile on his face now.

You smiled. "I'm just happy you're enjoying it. I guess it was worth leaving the house for, huh?"

Levi groaned and put down his mug. "I'll never complain about leaving the house with you again!"

You laughed.

Later on, when you had walked home with a little bag that carried the souvenir mugs, the two of you washed them carefully.

You were about to leave one in the kitchen and bring the other two upstairs, but Levi took one of them out of your hands. He placed it on the shelf next to the one he was going to be using.

"What are you doing?" you asked.

Levi blushed. "That one is yours." He lifted the one in his hand. "I can display this one."

You cocked your head. "But-"

"I would just pack it away anyway," Levi interrupted you before you could protest. "I'd rather you use it."

You smiled, reaching out to grab his jacket and tug him closer to you. You leaned in to kiss him and his arms circled around you, one hand still holding on to the third mug.

flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

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[fiend-shaped]

Teens sleep headcanons

Can you tell what im supposed to be doing rn lol

Taylor:

-Taylor has to build himself an exosuit of pillows in order to be comfortable (hence the exorbitant number of bodypillows)

-he has a large bed but always presses himself into the corner

-falls asleep very easily even when he's trying to stay awake

-one christmas morning when he was 8 Cassandra found him asleep in the living room with a sword

-when she woke him he cried because he'd missed his chance to challange santa to single combat and would have to wait another year to try again

-morning person, somehow in a non-obnoxious way

Normal:

-Normal always kicks off his blanket

-he moves around a lot and has fallen off of his bed on more than one occasion

-when he was 10 he begged his parents to let him have a bunk bed but they were justifiably worried he'd hurt himself

-he always has trouble falling asleep but once he's out it's very hard to wake him

-he tried using an alarm for a while but it didn't matter how loud or long it was, he always slept through it

-usually Hero has to wake him and more often than not she just drops a cold washcloth on his face

-pretends very hard to be a morning person

Scary:

-Scary tried to make herself sleep in a coffin pose but it didn't work

-She sleeps with socks on

-one time she had a dream where Terry Junior had been her dad since she was born

-after that she didn't really talk to him for about 2 days 

-when she was younger (before tj) she always made sure to arrange her stuffed animals so that they would all be equally close because she didn't want any of them to feel left out

-is genuinely not a morning person but also plays it up quite a bit

Lincoln:

-Lincoln has to be against a wall or he has a hard time sleeping

-he keeps his windows wide open, even when it's cold outside

-no problem falling asleep but usually wakes up multiple times a night

-is extremely comitted to making the football asmr thing work (at this point it kinda does but for the first few months it kept him awake and he just really didn't wanna admit it)

-is basically a morning person but not used to waking up for school yet

Bonus:

-Hermie has insomnia

-when he can't sleep he lies in the dark and 'runs lines'

-sometimes it's movies or plays he likes, sometimes it's rehearsed conversations and monologues

-when he can't remember a line (or hasn't thought of it yet in the conversation/monologue case) he repeats the last thing he said over and over until he figures out what comes next

-as part of his deep cover operation to steal the mascot costume he conviced his parents that he'd started taking a special morning class at chaparral. He needed to do this because his father always dropped him off on the way to work and he needed enough time to take the bus over to san dimas high in time for actual school to start. (Yes, this means that he hasn't been attending high school for the better part of a year and that his parents have somehow not noticed this)

-has to get up so so early for this stupid fucking scheme why is he doing this to himself i don't even care about chaparral high (internal monologue of the unfortunate compulsive scammer)

-tries (read: fails) not to nap throughout the day in hopes it'll fix his sleep schedule