#if someone else can’t treat you right don’t try to fix them

[the-trans-advice-blog]

If someone really loves you they will put in the work for you. Never settle for anyone who doesn’t treat you with patience, kindness, and respect. This goes for ANYONE who says they love you. Parents, friends, relationships, family, etc. People who truly love you won’t make you question it. Never forget what you’re worth.

[starjaeyun]

gatekeeper — tsukishima kei !

— tsukishima assures that he is not embarrassed of dating you, you think otherwise

warning/s : fem! reader, misunderstanding 😁 & a small fight at the beginning, profane language, tinsy bit of angst, fluff & crack from the second half ‘til it ends

note : had this little idea while writing a kageyama drabble so they might be quite similar

“just give up already”

y/n’s tip-toeing came to a stop. seriously? this was the 4th time this week! with an annoyed groan, she turns around, fists clenched, brows furrowed, and it looks as though a tick mark was formed on her forehead. behind her stood her oh so loving boyfriend, tsukishima kei, who somehow always catches her trying to sneak in the volleyball gym.

“oh c’mon kei! why won’t you let me watch your practice?!” tsukishima sighed, “we’ve talked about this” he grumbled, why does she have to be so stubborn?

“don’t talk like those romanticized, toxic boyfriends on wattpad!” y/n hits his arm, which barely does any damage to him, “and don’t act like them as well!”

tsukishima raises a hand to fix his glasses, “are you saying i’m toxic?”

“i never said that! i just said don’t talk and act like—”

“so you’re implying it?”

“well, you’re going to be if you carry on with that bullshit!” tsukishima grows silent and stares at y/n, who had seemed to be reaching the highest point of her annoyed meter, which would then slowly escalate into anger.

after a few seconds of silence, he spoke, “take these, don’t wait for me and go home. cool your head” in each of his hands were his hoodie and an umbrella, which he brought with him on the way to the gym incase it might rain before they’re able to go back to the locker rooms. with y/n giving no sign of taking it, he placed it on her foot and carried on walking past her.

“i don’t understand you” tsukishima comes to a halt, looking back almost immediately upon noticing y/n’s change of tone. crap, was i too harsh?

“why are you acting like that if you’re embarrassed of me?” he couldn’t tell whether she’s sad or angry.

“acting? acting like what? and what do you mean embarrassed?!” his tone immediately gave away his nervousness.

“in school or when you’re with someone else, you avoid and act like you don’t know me but when we’re alone, suddenly you’re taking care of me! make it clear whether you love me or not to save both our time because i am not about to start losing myself for a boy who can’t love me the way i deserve!” it’s clear that she wanted to say more so tsukishima stayed silent. “if you’re going to love me, at least be honest with me! am i embarrassing or not?!”

“of course not!”

“then why?!” it was a miracle that y/n was not crying nor shouting at the moment.

tsukishima fully turns his body this time, “what’s embarrassing is my explanation…” and the mood suddenly lightens.

“TSUKISHIMA, YOU BASTARD!” tanaka and nishinoya’s yelling made tsukishima sigh.

“you call me selfish but keep shimizu-senpai’s sister all to yourself” kageyama grumbles

tsukishima stands still. hands clasped together behind his back and head bowed down. he looks like a child getting a scolding, or how the the freak duo looks whenever daichi catches their slip ups.

nishinoya and tanaka kneels in front of the first year. head bowed down as if they were praising him, and that they are.

“on this day, we honor you. congratulations on getting a shimizu!” they say in unison.

“you’re overreacting” tsukishima simply says.

“nope, i, too, would congratulate you tsukki. no offense, but you’re not exactly the ideal boyfriend” yamaguchi says with a finger under his chin.

“mhm! so you better treat her right tsukishima! she’s like our little sister” sugawara’s smile does not look comforting at all.

“call me if you need help in buying gifts!” daichi volunteers happily.

“and me if you need advice!” asahi adds.

“why are you guys taking my job?” shimizu comments while giggling. “but, i do think that tsukishima is just right for my little sister” she turns to look at her sister who was now playing around with kageyama and hinata, “she’s as chaotic as those two, he’ll be able to handle her. so i trust that i won’t have to worry much?”

“of course” tsukishima didn��t seem like himself at the moment. his eyes seemed to have soften at the sight of his girlfriend. he smiled, though not too obvious.

“why are you smiling like a male lead in a drama?” tanaka teased. and though tsukishima hates expressing his emotions to his teammates, he certainly loves poking their annoyance scale, “because this is what it’s like to love and be loved”

“Why are you making it seem like kiyoko does not love me back! she does love me! right? right?” tanaka gave kiyoko hopeful eyes and received no response aside from her turning around.

“I’m not talking about platonic love”

“WHY YOU—“

“KEI!” apparently, while he successfully annoyed the second year, his girlfriend heard what he said and would definitely never let it go.

“when have you been so sweet?! love and be loved? seriously?!” she bounced up and down, hands on tsukishima’s shoulder for support.

“she’s no different from the freak duo, i’m afraid” sugawara comments and laughs along with the third years.

“but am i really that beautiful that you had to gatekeep me from your entire team?” she laughed, still bouncing, and tsukishima only stood there with his smile never seeming to fade.

“if that were me i’d be receiving his train of insults by now” hinata says, joining the rest of the team as they watched how tsukishima seemed to be a lot softer around y/n.

“you’re such a gatekeeper kei!” she teased, this time, she stopped bouncing and have started poking her boyfriend’s sides.

“that he is! how dare he gatekeep kiyoko-san’s sister?!” tanaka kneeled back down on one knee with a hand on his chest.

nishinoya followed suit, “and what’s annoying is that she reciprocated his love!”

© starjaeyun on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[euphorickaeya]

Uhh, heyo! I’d like to request the "You need someone to take care of you.” prompt with sagau diluc, al haitham and ayaka, could you make the reader’s pronouns (they/them)?

thank you for requesting! Please enjoy! 🫶

link to drabble event!

You’ve been laying in this damn bed for the whole day, you’re sick of it. Your acolytes had banished you to bed rest after a small incident in Mondstadt and you were bored, your bones aches in being in the same sitting position for the past hour. You need to move and when you’re allowed to, you’ve got acolytes following you to the tee.

You turned around to see Ayaka’s figure behind you, her breath hitched as you turned to angrily stare at her. She immediately trembled, her lips quivered with fear and uncertainty as to what made you so angry at her.

“Are you…are you alright, your grace?” She whimpered out, it was the last straw for you, you blew up right in front of her. “No! I’m not alright! Stop following me around, give me a damn break—“ you scolded Ayaka with a strong voice, the cryo-wielder stepped back at your sudden outburst.

“Don’t you understand that even gods need space! You’re following me step by step and I’m sick of it!” You grabbed your locks, annoyed and angered.

Suddenly, someone had barged in, which made you turn your angered stare to them.

It was Diluc and Al Haitham, Diluc sported an uneasy expression as his companion just looked between you. Ayaka looked at Diluc, lips quivering before she burst out in tears, her legs could hold her wait as she dropped down, sobbing into her arms.

“Okay, okay..let’s get you out first.” Al Haitham instantly moved as soon as the first sob of Ayaka’s was let out, at the side of the girl in a few seconds. You looked at the situation with tiredness. You sighed and turned away from Ayaka, trying to pull away from even more acolytes.

“Your Grace. You can’t be yelling at your acolytes, they only want to help you—“ Diluc turned to you like a scolding father to his daughter. “Why can’t I? Why can’t I be angry? You say you only want to help, what part of stalking me through my own home is helping?” You accusingly retorted, Diluc was appalled at your rudeness.

Diluc was confused and rightfully so, his last memory of you was of elegance, you walked down the town of Mondstadt wearing the most sheen and silken clothing. Made from the best fabric anyone could find. You talked to children and even played with them.

Where was the God he saw that day?

“Your Grace, we’re here so you don’t have to lift a finger! You know this-“ He tried to reply to you when you scoffed, “I don’t want to be treated like a child, or- or someone who can’t do things for themselves. I’m a god! Not some frail human!” Your eyebrows furrowed in frustration, Diluc was not helping your situation, nor calming you down.

“Do you need any help, Diluc? The girl’s gone-“ Al Haitham peeked into the room, looking off to you with a small concerned frown. “Al Haitham, please, I need to talk to them, they’re upset and more acolytes in the room won’t fix that.” Diluc shook his head, looking off to you as you paced the room, trying to control yourself.

The clouds outside had turned to grey, it was sunny earlier. It was obvious it was your doing, more so, your emotions. Diluc needed to calm you and fast, before your anger turns to a flurry of frost.

“Your Grace. I understand your anger, but you must know, you need someone to take care of you.” You were shocked at what Diluc had implied, that even if you were perfectly capable of doing things yourself, that you must hand over that responsibility to someone else.

“Get out.” You pointed to the door, a storm of emotions brewed inside of you, mostly of anger and anguish at Diluc’s statement.

“Your Grace-“ Diluc tried to start. You threw the closest thing at him, a vase. The porcelain broke right next to him, making him turn and flinch, Diluc’s smooth skin was nicked by one of the glass pieces, the smooth red falling down his cheek.

Another reminder of why you’re being treated this way, why you’re different. “I said, get out!” You shouted, readying another piece of porcelain to throw at Diluc.

Diluc’s lips opened, then closed. He knew there was nothing else he could say to calm you down. So with an uncomfortable feeling, he simply nodded and bowed, before leaving you to drown in your anguish and despair.

He respected your decision, even if it meant that he had to ignore the wails and cries of yours as he walked away.

[deathbecomesthem]

Crawling to the Finish | Part 2 | 5K

Eddie Munson x Fem!Disabled!Reader

*This is a completed series that is queued and will be released on the dates below. This Masterlist will be updated with each part that is released.

+18 ONLY | MDNI

Warnings: There will be lots of descriptions of medical stuff. The reader is physically disabled due to an undefined accident. Major bone trauma. Lots of talk about pain. Later parts are going to have smut, because disabled people have sex like everyone else. *This part describes disordered eating due to pain.*

Summary: You have to go back to school while still recovering from surgery. Principal Higgins is determined to make you as comfortable as possible, so he assigns someone to help you get around.

A/N: The physical disability described in this series are my own. The experiences are very close to what my own. Be kind.

---

You were drifting through life, the unsteady ocean of the things out of your control set your course. It was something you’ve learned how to deal with. Take things as they come, adjust, go with the flow, let the waves move you how they wanted. But, when the pain is bad, it sets your teeth on edge, and you hate being that person. Mean. Angry. Bitter. It’s not who you are, but it’s how you are right now. You were just waiting. Because, despite the hope in your mother’s eyes, you knew that this last surgery would do nothing to fix you. It was just something to add to the chart so Dr. Greene could say he had tried it all before giving an 18 year a total hip replacement. They don’t last forever, and then he’ll have to deal with a patient needing revision at a too young age.

The bright spot these days comes in the form of a group of nerdy boys. Every day, you sit with them at lunch. It’s your safe spot. No one bothers you, you can just sit and be quiet without feeling like you need to do anything. The boys never say anything about how little you eat. Dustin occasionally looks at you with knowing eyes, and he’s always quick to offer up anything you might like as a treat. Food is hard most days, everything turns to cement in your mouth as you chew, and it never sits right in your stomach.

If you’re being completely honest with yourself, the highest points of your days are in the few minutes before each class when you move through the empty halls with Eddie by your side. Your friendship has come about easily. He’s so open to you. He asks questions. He stops talking when you tell him you need quiet without making you feel unkind. He tells you about his band and his club. Then one day, he tells you something that blows you away, because you feel like you were really starting to know him, and you never would have guessed.

“Well, you know, school’s not exactly my strong suit. I’m pretty sure I’m destined to be stuck in this building until I’m old and gray.” You’d been telling him about how determined you were to get your diploma, even if it meant you had to drag your body across the stage to get it. His statement confused you, though.

“What do you mean? You might not graduate?” You’re legitimately confused. “Why not?”

“Oh, Ilene, this is my third senior year.” You’re standing outside of your English class, the bell still 2 minutes away from ringing. These conversations were really one big conversation broken up into little intervals throughout the day. “If I can manage to pass English this time, there’s a chance I’ll be able to walk that stage.” His words hang in the air for a moment while you digest them and try to make sense of them.

You’re annoyed. Almost angry. How the actual fuck – “Eddie, that’s bullshit.” His eyebrows shoot up so high, they’re lost under his fringe. Your tone tells him that you think his excuses are bullshit. “Come on, are you telling me you can’t do that work, because I’m telling you, you’ve got a brain in there.” You tap the side of his head a little harder than was necessary.

“I’m telling you, I’ve managed to fuck it up two years in a row –“ he’s getting a little hot with you, annoyed for being called out, “- and I’m trying, but it’s hard.”

Today’s a better day for you, so you find yourself able to bite back the truly harsh remarks that sometimes spill out of your mouth. You let the silence sit for another moment and think about what it’s been like for him, how he’s been treated by his teachers and how he doesn’t have the kind of support at home that would help him get through a tough time. The bell rings and brings your thoughts back to the Eddie that’s at your side. You look and see his features are a little pained by your words, so you try to make it right before he takes off for his own class.

“Hey, you’re right, I don’t know how it’s been for you.” He’s following behind you while you make your way to your desk, only the two of you in the classroom at the moment. “Why don’t you come over a couple of times a week and we can be study buddies?”

Eddie drops your bookbag at your feet. He takes your hand, as he does multiple times a day to help you get yourself situated at your desk, and holds on to your crutches for you. This routine just sort of happened naturally, but right now it strikes you how comfortable you’ve become with his hands helping you. It’s so unlike you to be so accepting of help.

Before he can take his hand away and leave, you give it a squeeze, drawing his gaze to your face. “I’m serious, I’d like having someone around when I do my homework. It might help us both to just have someone else working next to us.”

A couple of people started making their way through the door, a signal that he has to bust his ass across the building, “I’ll see you in 45 minutes.” There’s a little sink in your stomach, worry at upsetting him, but he gives your own hand a little squeeze before he lets go.

---

Eddie doesn’t bring up your offer for the rest of the day, leaving you feeling a little bit deflated. You pushed too hard, and you regret it. Never once has he done anything to make you feel bad about yourself, and you let your mouth run away the first time he’s a tiny bit vulnerable with you. But, as with everything in life, you let those feelings float on, letting them go.

On the Monday of week 5 post surgery, the pain has ebbed into a constant and familiar ache. You eat enough to keep yourself upright. Your sleep is fragmented, waking frequently to adjust the pillow that rests under your left hip.

Your incision is healed, you’ve always been a quick healer - except for that one joint. The one that keeps you from being a normal teenager. The one that keeps you too thin and gives you dark circles under your eyes.

When you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the realm of self-pity, you let yourself remember. Because, this recovery is simple compared to a full body cast, a bed pan, hair washed in the bathroom sink, a baby monitor set next to you at night at the age of 14. This is nothing. And you’re inching closer to the thing you want more than anything. A new lease on life through your next surgery.

Today, though, you’re getting dressed, putting on makeup, and feeling better than you have in a long time. You’re looking forward to seeing your boys. To seeing your Eddie. You try not think about him when you pull out the curling iron and work your hair into a cute half updo. You try not to think about which lip gloss he would prefer as you rummage through the drawers of your vanity. You definitely avoid the thought of him seeing your ass in the form fitting black jeans you feel like you can tolerate rubbing against the still tender scars that run down your outer thigh and lower waist. Nope. Not thinking about that.

Eddie’s leaning against the hood of his van when you pull into the parking lot this morning. He’s been arriving early since last week so he can be there to escort you into the building first thing each day. This morning your stomach leaps into your throat as you watch him flick his cigarette butt into the grass at the edge of the lot. Friday was the first day you’d really noticed how pretty his eyes are, really looked at how full his lips are. It was a revelation you weren’t expecting. As much as you wish you could just push the feelings away, you know it’s not possible. You’ve noticed him, no going back now.

“Excuse me sir, can you point me in the direction of an errand boy to hire for the day? I can’t possibly be expected to carry my own things around all day.” You’ve pulled your car up next to Eddie with your window rolled down. You let your eyes travel up and down his body to assess him with exaggeration, “You might be sufficient. Do you have any references?”

“There’s this one girl, she’s kind of a pain in the ass, but I’m sure she’d be willing to write me a letter of recommendation.” His head is tilted to the side and he’s wearing a grin that shows off his pretty dimples. “What kind of compensation do you offer?”

“The pleasure of my company.” You give him a big smile and a flutter of your lashes before you pull in to the spot next to him. He makes his way to your car, reaching into the back seat for your crutches before offering his hand to help you out.

“Oh, I think I might take that offer, but I have one request.” He’s answering you try to find your balance. Once you’re upright, he reaches across the front seat to grab your bookbag for you. “How do you feel about adding in some study time this week to sweeten the deal?”

You’ve crutched a couple of steps while he closes your car door for you, but you stop after he makes his request to cock your head and squint your eyes. He’s got that fucking smile on his face again.

“Oh, sure. Follow me home tonight, we can do some work at my house, ok?” Eddie nods and you’re both kind of just looking back and forth at each other while you make your way to the big doors that lead into the school.

“You look really pretty today, by the way.” It’s a casual statement that a friend would make to another friend, but you can feel the heat rising up your chest, and your stomach feels like it’s on fire.

You can’t help but do the thing you always do when you feel like you’re in a corner. You joke.

“Stop flirting with me. I know the crutches are irresistible, but you’re gonna have to try to resist.”

And you think he’ll leave it at that. So, you crutch your way down the still quiet hallway, but he just can’t stop himself. A couple of steps behind you, he says just loud enough for you to hear, “It’s not the crutches I’m thinking about from this angle, Ilene.”

---

That’s how the flirtation started, with Eddie not so subtlety checking out your ass at 7:30 on a Monday morning. It went on like this for the rest of the week. On Wednesday, you sat next to Dustin at lunch. His positivity was contagious, and you found you cared deeply for the kid. He always knew how to talk, or not talk, to you.

“So, Eddie tells me you’ve been helping him study.” You’ve been making eyes at Eddie from across the table. Eddie’s been coming over to your house for a couple of hours the last two afternoons, and you’ve started helping him work on his English paper. After talking him through what some of his issues have been, you offer to be his scribe. It’s working really well, you writing his words.

“Uh, yeah. It’s been nice having him around.” You finally drag your eyes away from Eddie to meet Dustin’s face and he’s practically glowing.

“Oh, good. You guys are, uh, really hitting it off, huh?” Your eyes roll a little and you flick the back of his hands with your fingers in a playful admonishment.

“Stop. It’s not like that.”

Dustin shrugs a little, still radiant with pleasure at all of the possibilities he has running rampant through his head.

“Hey, when do you see your doctor? It’s next week, right?”

“Yep.” It’s all you can manage. Your anxiety was starting to build at the thought of it.

“How soon do you expect to have your surgery?” You had told Dustin about the prospect of a hip replacement. He was enthusiastic, understanding it would be the ticket to a more independent life.

“As soon as he’ll schedule it. Realistically? Probably in a month. I think I’ve convinced my mom that it’s definitely happening, but you know, parents are always worried.” Dustin knew. He definitely knew.

“Well, I’m excited for you.” His big smile does a lot to settle your anxiety. His support means so much to you. “I’m sure Eddie will be excited too.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Dustin, I swear to god.” You shake your head and look back to see Eddie smirking at your obvious annoyance with his favorite kid.

---

“So, tell me about Eddie.” Your mom sat at the kitchen table and sorted through the mail while you got yourself situated on the recliner. You’d been sleeping in it all week, it holds your body in all of the right places. It’s the only place you can fully relax, even if it’s only for a couple of hours at a time.

“You met him, you already know about him.” It’s Friday, the first afternoon that you’ve returned from school without the metalhead following closely behind. His band is practicing, but he offered to come over after to watch a movie later.

“Yeah, he’s a good kid, I like him.” She rips open one of the envelopes and scans the page. A medical bill. You can tell from the resigned sigh that leaves her mouth. “I was just wondering if anything’s been going on between you two yet.”

“We’re just friends, mom.” It doesn’t even sound convincing to your own ears.

“Of course your friends. He’s the reason I don’t worry about you when you leave the house. But I’m not blind.” She doesn’t say anymore, she just gets up and digs her check book out of her purse before dropping back into the seat and continuing the depressing job of draining her bank account.

“Oh, uh, Eddie’s coming over at 7 to watch a movie if that’s ok.” Your attempt at sounding casual fails, and you know it because you’re mom barks out a laugh.

“Eddie’s always welcome, you don’t have to ask. ‘Just friends.’” She does air quotes at you, and you lay your head back to try to nap before Eddie heads over.

The next thing you know, there’s a hand on your arm and you smell pizza? Your groggy eyes are trying to open, the hand on your arm is lifting and you hear his voice, as if from a distance.

“Maybe I should go. I don’t want to wake her if she needs to sleep.” His voice is soft, and you wonder who he’s talking about. Wait, he’s talking about me. Because I’m asleep.

“No, I promise, she’ll never forgive me if I let her sleep through your visit.” You hear footsteps moving towards you, and there’s another smaller hand with a firmer grip on your arm. “Sweetie, Eddie’s here to see you. He brought over some pizza. Wanna wake up?”

Your feel like your eyelids weigh a ton, but you finally get them open enough to see your mom and Eddie standing over you, looking at you. Eddie looks concerned, his fingers at his mouth playing with his bottom lip.

“Hey, Buddy.” You croak out and give him a sleepy smile, and you can see him visibly relax. Your mom gives him a pat on the shoulder before she leaves the room. “Thanks for coming over, Eddie.” You start moving to get up, and he puts his hands out to stop you.

“Hey, no, it’s ok, stay there.” But you’re shaking your head, you had to get up and move around to get the blood flowing.

“I’m fine, I can’t stay in this chair anymore or I won’t sleep at all tonight.” Eddie’s quick to offer his arm to you, and warmth starts to stir inside of you. His leather jacket is thrown over a chair in the kitchen. This is the first time you’ve had your hands on his bare arm, and his skin feel so warm under your fingers.

“Where’d you get the pizza, Ed?” You put your arm around his shoulder, letting him help you to the kitchen without the aid of your crutches. His hair smells clean, like maybe he took a shower before coming over. You let your fingers brush across the ends of his hair to see if it’s still damp. It is.

“Uh, I went to Gino’s. Is that ok?” He turns his head to face you, and he’s so close. You notice his eyes drifting between your eyes and your mouth while you’re hopping the last few feet before resting on one of the cloth covered chairs at the octagonal table.

“It’s great. Thank you.” As soon as your ass hits the chair, he’s moving in a flurry. Getting you something to drink, plating some pizza, frenetic movements around the kitchen.

He finally sits with you after grabbing a plate for himself. This is the moment. This is when you know it. You let your foot rest next to his, your sock covered toes rub the top of his foot just a little, and he’s all smiles. This is good. He returns your gesture with a little toe rub of his own, and you let the greasy cheesy pizza fill your stomach while you play footsie with the pretty boy sitting next to you.

Eddie brought over the movie he’d been talking about all week, insisting you should watch it. LadyHawke. You know it’s not anywhere near what you’d consider watching normally, but his excitement was worth it. Also, the thought of sitting in a dark room with him sitting close to him made your whole body tingle.

You stood at in front of the couch, looking down at it, trying to decide what would work the best. Eddie stood there, looking a little confused, probably wondering why you were staring at a piece of furniture with such concentration.

“So, uh, do you need help, or…” He’s filling the silence with anything, and you’ve decided to just tell him the truth.

“I’m thinking about how I can be comfortable on this couch while also not being too obvious about wanting you to be close to me.” You keep looking at the couch, and Eddie is standing a little straighter.

“Ah, yeah, I see.” Now he’s looking at the couch with you while you lean your weight onto his shoulders. He snaps his fingers together excitedly. “I’ve got it. Here.” He’s helping you down onto the couch, making sure you’ve got a pillow to rest under your hip before he gets the movie set up and turns off the lights. You’re waiting, a little sad to be sitting alone.

“Ok, can I sit here?” He’s pointing at the very end of the couch where you’re head and shoulders are resting, and you feel a smile pulling on your lips.

“Of course you can.” You sit up as much as you can, and Eddie sneaks his slender body next to you. It’s easy to rest your head on him, perfectly comfortable, his arms are gently surrounding you. You can feel his steady breathing and the rhythmic beating of his heart with your head on his broad chest.

LadyHawke is playing on the television. You know that. Michelle Pfeiffer and Matthew Broderick are right on the screen. Outside of that, nothing is connecting. Eddie’s hand is moving along your arm, fingers lazily running along your skin. Your face is pressed into his cotton t shirt, it smells like fabric softener and very faintly of cigarette smoke. You can feel his warm breath on the crown of your head. Your hand is running along the rings of his free hand, dipping into the valleys between his fingers. You can hear his breath hitch when you let the tip of your fingers rub against the sensitive skin.

“This is really nice, Ed.” You need him to know how you’re feeling right now before your heart explodes in your chest from his tender touches.

“Mmmm” The hum is thick, reverberating through his chest. He’s gone somewhere, just feeling and not thinking. As casually as possible without full function of you lower half, you turn yourself to look at his face. Your expectation is that you’ll see his face focused on the screen, but no. He’s looking down at you with a soft expression.

You reach to touch his face, asking him to look at you. Please, see me. He does. You see his vision focus, he’s back with you. You run your finger down his jaw, feeling the stubble growing there. His hand isn’t running along your arm now. No, it’s found the spot on your side where you’re shirt has ridden up, and now his fingers are bringing out goosebumps along this new place, a gentle dance.

It’s a challenge. It’s awkward. You’re moving your body in ways that are not completely natural, trying to angle your face to meet his. His sweet and knowing smile makes you giggle a little. It’s ridiculous that this should be so hard when it’s so stupidly easy for every other teenager in the world. But, this is Eddie, and he’s not making you feel weird.

“You wanna kiss, Sweet Girl?” Of course you want a kiss. It’s why you have your body twisted, face in the crook of his neck. So close. You have to pull yourself up using his shirt as leverage.

“No.” Your face is heating up enough that you’re sure he can feel it on the skin of his neck. “I just wanna put my face right here.” You let your lips brush against his the soft skin behind his ear, and he lets out a little groan.

“Oh, yeah, ok.” His breath is ragged as you trail your lips across his neck leaving gentle kisses as you go. His hands are gripped firmly at the skin of your side, he’s obviously trying to keep himself under control while you assault his most sensitive spots.

“Eddie, I’m sorry.” You breath out in the shell of his ear and his breath stutters, “I’m lying. I really do want you to kiss me.” Your teeth nip at the spot behind his hear, and you’re satisfied with the whimper that escapes his pretty mouth.

It’s still awkward, but neither of you seem to care. The goal is to let your lips meet. So close. So, so close. He’s so pretty. The reflection of the screen illuminates his face, and you’re struck again by his perfect features. You can’t get your face to angle in the right way, so you just bring your hand up to run along his eyebrows, down his nose, along his pretty lips.

He closes his eyes while you explore his features with your featherlight touches. Slowly, he starts to move away from you, gently guiding your body to a half sitting position.

“Lay down, Sweetheart.” His knees are resting on the carpet in front of the couch, and he helps you lay on your side to face him. “There she is.” His hand cups your cheek and he closes the distance to let your lips meet. Finally. His lips are as soft as the touches you’ve been sharing. His fingers scratch at the back of your head, and your open mouths taste each other while Lady Hawke plays on in the background, all while Eddie sits on his knees on the floor.

---

In your living room on that Friday night, you let the waves take you like you always did. The feelings were happening, there was no stopping it. There are so few things in your life that make perfect sense, there’s so much uncertainty. But Eddie was consistent, he was true. So, it happens, and it’s right.

Saturday, you’re mother takes you to a salon. Self-care has been low priority for a long time, but the hair cut was a practice in hope. Monday morning, instead of meeting Eddie in the parking lot of the high school, you’ll be sitting in the office of your surgeon discussing next steps. While waiting for your time slot, you flip through the book filled with glossy images of haircuts. You know what you want before even stepping foot in the door, but you need a visual reference. When you see the picture, you have to hold in a laugh, it’s exactly what you’re looking for. It’s not until you see the cut on the model that you realize it is the same cut that Isabeau wears in LadyHawke.

The seat is uncomfortable, it strains the already painful joint, but it’s so worth it. Angie, your hairstylist, is massaging your scalp more than washing your hair, and you feel like purring with satisfaction. You suspect that your mom told her something that made her want to give you extra pampering, and you don’t even care if it’s out of pity. When she finally turns the taps off and wraps your head in a towel, your eyes are heavy, but your body feels light.

Getting a haircut has always been a ritual you like to go through before major medical stuff. It’s a shedding of the past and making room for new growth. The practicality of having less hair to deal with post operation is an added bonus. This is the first cut you’ve had in a year, and your hair is well past the donation threshold. After the initial chop of the braids hanging down your back, you listen to the scissors snip snip snip while small clumps of hair float to the ground. You feel freer already.

Sunday Eddie visits for a while, and he brings Dustin. It’s a surprise, but you’re so happy to see him. Outside of your mom, they’re the only ones you’ve told about your anxieties. To his benefit, Dustin never comments on the fact that you’re head rests in Eddie’s lap and that he runs his fingers through your hair while they visit. Even though it looks physically painful for him to keep his thoughts to himself.

For the first time it doesn’t feel like you’re just passing time and waiting for the next thing. Waiting for you life to finally make sense and be set right. You feel accepted and held by Eddie. He sees you and doesn’t frown at the sight of your pain, he simply tries to not add to it. Having a friend like Dustin must have played a part in his understanding, but it’s more than that. Eddie just accepts and offers sincerity in everything.

When Dustin takes off, telling you he’s got plans with Mike Wheeler, you know he’s really giving you and Eddie some time. Eddie helps you over to the recliner so you can really rest, the week was long and you’re still so tired. You make yourself small and pull him into the oversized chair with you. He doesn’t argue. He moves with clear intention, cautiously but not with fear.

“Eddie, thanks for being here for me.” Your running your finger down his sternum, following a path to his ribs. You try not to think too hard about doing this without the cotton barrier of his shirt. You’re present, enjoying it for what is and trying to not wish any of it away.

“This is where I want to be, Baby. With my girl.” His eyes are closed, he looks as tired as you do. Fully relaxed under your touch.

“I’m your girl?” He keeps his eyes closed, but his mouth draws up into a smile at the softness of your voice.

“Yes, and I’m sorry. You’re stuck with me now. You found that spot behind my ear. I can’t let you go.” You take his hint and nose your way to his neck and run you lips along the spot. He’s practically growling his response, “You’re an evil woman, do you know that?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you liked this.” He pulls your chin away from his neck so you can see his face. The tender look on his face has you feeling gooey and warm. You spend the rest of the evening with your lips connected, taking all that you could give one another until – finally – you fall asleep to the sounds of his breathing.

[errythinisblue]

Hi baby 🤍can you please do one with mason where they have a fight. you head out with your friends for the night and mason gets worried about you as you don‘t reply to his messages and calls and it's pretty late. maybe him driving around to your friend's trying to find you and stuff . I miss your mason’s stuff sm

Hi love 🤍 I was dying to write an angsty piece, thank you for the inspiration! I loved writing this, enjoy!🤍

“Guilty as charged.”

Mason Mount x Y/N

Summary: An extra training session causes Mason to snap at you. What will he do when you leave the house after your fight and he can’t get you on the phone?

Warnings: Mason being a bit of a dickhead, but with the fluffiest of endings.

gif credits to @chelseastopblaster

As you heard the keys unlocking the door, you rushed to the entryway to meet your boyfriend; Mason was finally home, and you knew he would be tired after today’s training. It was supposed to be his day off to rest, but Tuchel had other plans, as he ordered them into training after the bad performance against Wolves.

“Hi baby,” you softly smiled at his exhausted face, “how was training?”

“How do you think it was?” he said, his voice sounding strangely annoyed.

“That hard hm? I-” you tried to talk to him, but he didn’t let you.

“Y/N don’t please.” he stopped you before you could say anything else, “My head is killing me and I don’t wanna hear anybody else’s bullshit right now.”

“Sorry what?” you widened your eyes upon hearing his words. You knew he was tired, and you knew that as much as he loved the game he needed time to rest too. Plus the end of the season was near and he was clearly frustrated with the team’s results, those same results that cost them an extra training session. But that didn’t mean he had the right to treat you like that.

“You heard me,” he snapped as he looked you straight in the eyes, “or have you maybe gone deaf??”

“Oh yeah I heard you loud and clear.” you nodded your head, tears were already forming in your eyes as you clenched your jaw, trying to swallow the lump that formed in your throat; but you knew this wasn’t him talking, it was his exhaustion speaking and it showed by how slumped his shoulders were, “I just wanted to let you know that dinner was waiting for you. And since I knew this extra session would have worn you out, I cooked your favourite meal too. But at this point I don’t even know why I bothered.”

“Don’t play the victim now,” he said, “today was supposed to be my day off, but no! I had to go fucking training! And then I come home and as soon as I open the door you’re already standing there asking me your stupid questions-”

“Stupid questions?? I just asked you how training was, Mason! As I always do!” you raised your hands in the air, as you tried to keep your composure but you couldn’t help but grow frustrated by the minute.

“Yeah and it’s fucking annoying!” he shouted as he ran his fingers through his short hair, “Training was shit, and I don’t need you to remind me of that!”

“Fine. I’ll be out of your hair then.” you said as you grabbed your car keys and your purse, after you put on your shoes in a haste.

“Where are you going now??” he asked you as his eyes were fixed on you, the thought he might have gone too far already popping in his mind.

“Out.” you shrugged your shoulders; you could see it in his eyes, he knew he fucked up, but that didn’t mean you had to forgive him straight away.

“Out where??” he asked again, his voice almost pleading.

“Can you stop asking that?? It’s fucking annoying!” you used his same words against him, and maybe you were mean for that, but he had to know he hurt you, and without a reason to do so, if it was even possible to have a reason to hurt someone.

“Y/N-” he started before you closed the door at your back, in his face, and walked to your car.

-

“He acted like a real dick I’m telling you!” you told Sophia as you two were sitting on her sofa, sipping on a glass of wine as you told her what happened with Mason.

“I know babe and I’m so sorry he snapped at you,” she said as she softly pouted, “I mean I don’t even get the reason why he would do that.”

“I don’t know!” you exclaimed, “I told you, all I asked him was how training was, well all I tried to ask him that is…”

“Damn footballers…” she shook her head as she took your free hand in her, “I’m glad you called me though, it’s been so long since we last saw each other!”

“You’re right, I missed hanging out with you so much Soph! You’re the only one I feel like talking to when things like that happen…” you told her as you squeezed her hand gently, “Oh, talk about damn footballers…” you said as you showed her your phone just as Mason’s silly face flashed on your screen.

“Are you gonna pick up?” Sophia asked you.

“No, I’ll let him sweat a little.” you bit your lip as you looked at his face on your phone, his goofy smile was pulling at your heartstrings and you found yourself missing him a little bit, but you shook your head quickly, before your phone stopped ringing.

-

If Mason was worried when he saw you leave the house, he was full on panicking now. Three hours and at least twenty unanswered phone calls later, he was sure he was going to go crazy.

He didn’t know what to do to reach out for you, but he knew he wanted to, he needed to, badly. He fucked up big time, he was sure about that now and his brain kept reminding him how much of a dickhead he’d been towards you. He didn’t know why he said those things to you, he just knew he was so angry at Tuchel because he was yelling at him all day long and he didn’t even know why. He didn’t know what he did to deserve such treatment and when he got home, those words his manager yelled at him had sunk so much in his worn out brain that he didn’t want to hear anything else. There was even a short amount of time where he thought he didn’t deserve your attention when he came back home, as he was sure that he had fucked up at training. But he ended fucking things up with you.

He was so angry at himself, and so desperate to have you back at home with him that he decided he would have driven to every single one of your friends’ houses if that meant he had a chance to find you there. It was a Tuesday night, he knew you wouldn’t be out as you had work the day after; so he thought this was the only thing he could do to try and find you.

But after he knocked on the last door, and after he had the same negative answer, his desperation had spiked impossibly high. He didn’t know where you were, what you were doing… what if something bad had happened to you and he wasn’t there?? That could be why you weren’t picking up your phone!

‘Keep calm Mount, we’ll find a way out of this!’ Kai’s words resonated in his ears as he sat back in his car; Kai was the one who saw him kicking his bag in frustration as soon as they walked into the changing rooms after training. And Kai was the one who talked to him and calmed him down as Mason felt like he was starting to lose control. Kai…KAI!

“Sophia! How didn’t I think about her sooner??” Mason slammed his hands on the steering wheel before he started the engine, pushing on the gas pedal as he was driving to the German’s house.

“Come on man, pick up!…” he groaned as he was calling Kai while he was driving to where he hoped he would have found you this time.

“You’re in big trouble man…” Kai murmured as soon as he accepted the call.

“Is Y/N there??” Mason asked him as he was feeling out of breath, as if he was running to Kai’s house and not driving his car.

“She is, and I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Kai said, his voice as low as a whisper, “so thank me, as I’m risking my life by giving you this information.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Mason said, the hint of a smile appearing on his lips, “thank you man, I owe you!”

“Yeah, you owe me big time!” Kai said before he ended the call.

-

“Soph this dress is stunning, I’m sure you’d look gorgeous in it!” you said, as Sophia was showing you the photo she took of a dress she saw the day before in a shop.

“You sure?” she asked as she chewed on the inner side of her cheek, sounding unsure, “I mean it’s beautiful but I don’t know…”

“More than sure!” you smiled at her, “You’re perfect and I’m sure this colour would look great on you!”

“Will you go with me to buy it?” she pleaded you with her eyes, as she always did when she wanted something from you, “Please, I’m gonna need your opinion when I’ll try it on!”

“Okay okay!” you giggled as she could be really convincing, but your giggles were cut short as you heard the doorbell ring. Your gut feeling telling you that a certain midfielder had found you.

“I’ll take it!” Kai shouted from the kitchen.

“Okay baby!” Sophia said as she went back to sip on her wine, “It took him some time to figure out you were here…” she chuckled as she too had thought it was Mason at the door.

And you both were right, because as soon as Kai opened the door Mason came barging in in the living room. He was panting, his chest quickly rising and falling under the rhythm of his breathing, and when his eyes fell on your figure sat on the sofa his shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Y/N!” he ran to you as he kneeled in front of you, resting his head on your legs, “God I was so worried about you, I couldn’t find you and you weren’t picking up your phone I-”

“Of course I didn’t. You acted like an asshole, why would I pick up?” you said as you restrained yourself from running your fingers through his hair.

“You did it on purpose?? I was scared as fuck!” he whined, pressing his face further in your thighs.

“And I was angry at you, I’m still angry at you!”

“I’m sorry baby, please don’t yell at me now,” he pouted as he raised his head to look at you with his tired puppy eyes, “not you too…”

“Who yelled at you?” you frowned as you took in the distressed state your boyfriend was in.

“Tuchel did.” Kai cut in, “He did, at every single one of us. But more to Mason…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” your tone was sweeter now, as you watched Mason’s eyes fall to the floor.

“I thought I had somehow disappointed him,” he said as he shrugged his shoulders, still kneeling in front of you, “I didn’t want to disappoint you too…”

“So you just acted like a dickhead instead,” Sophia shook her head as Kai came to sit next to her, “not your best choice Mase…”

“You’re right Soph…” he breathed a laugh as he looked at you once again, “Come home now, please…”

“Okay…” you couldn’t resist him anymore, his brown eyes showed nothing but sorrow and you could see how much he was longing for you to forgive him and just go home. So you really couldn’t help yourself, as your answer came out in a heartbeat.

-

“Mason?” you called his name as you watched him removing his shoes, while you leaned your back against the closed front door.

“Yes?” he was quick in replying, as he turned his head towards you and stared at you with his chocolate orbs.

“When you told me you couldn’t find me, what did you mean?”

“I went to look for you at all your friends’ houses, I drove around like a mad man, hoping to find you…” he whispered as he scratched his neck, “I don’t know why I didn’t think about Sophia sooner…”

“And there I was, thinking that would be the first place you’d have come looking for me…” you chuckled as you shook your head at your boyfriend’s dumbfounded expression.

“You wanted me to find you?” he frowned as he came to stand right in front of you, caging your body between his muscly one and the door.

“I wanted to make you sweat a little,” you breathed against his lips, “but I’ll always want you to come and find me…”

“I’m so sorry I snapped at you…” he closed his eyes as he leaned his forehead against your own, “I love you so much baby, can you forgive me?”

“I already did…” you smiled before you pecked his lips, “I love you too Mase… even when you’re acting like a dick.”

“Especially when I act like a dick…” he winked at you, before his stomach grumbled.

“You’re still hungry? Didn’t you eat what I left for you?” you asked him as a soft blush appeared on his cheeks.

“Uhm I’m starving actually…” he said, “…but I couldn’t remember how to heat the food up in the microwave… I know you taught me how to do it a million times but I couldn’t remember anything!”

“Now I get the reason why you stopped calling me and came looking for me Mount…” you laughed as you shook your head, “You needed me to heat up your food!”

“Guilty as charged…” he said as he raised his hands in the air, giggling as his stomach continued to make loud noises.

“Come on I’ll show you once again…” you smiled as you kissed his cheek, guiding him by the hand towards the kitchen. You were happy to finally be back home with him, even if that meant you’d have to explain how to use the microwave to him for the thousandth time.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

OFMD fix-it Epilogue

Decided to make an epilogue as a thank you! wanted to try and write some fallout from the reunion. takes place over about a week. tw for blood and stede saying something self harmy. Thank you all again for the incredible response to both parts ;w;

Part one Part two

Stede: Edward! [ed gasps for breath]

Ed: What are you doing? Stede: [screams] cHRIST, Ed, Warn a man! Ed: You don’t get a warning when you’re being a dickhead. Why were you running around and lifting shit

Stede: Settled a crew dispute! I didn’t want to disturb your rest, so I took care of it. Everything’s- oh. Ed: Stede! Stede: I’m fine, really! Ed: Yes, I believe you, man bleeding and drenched in sweat! Stede: I don’t want to just sit on my ass while everyone else busts theirs. Bit of a bad start to co-captaining again, y’ know. Ed: Better than a fuckin’ dead one! You saved their asses, so let them handle it

Ed: Let me handle it Stede: It’s my mess. Why should you? Ed: Thought we agreed we both fucked up. This isn’t about the gash, is it?

Stede: Sitting idle is making me...anxious. I...I have this feeling something bad is going to happen. This all went way too well. I feel like the proverbial shoe is about to drop. Ed: You think you’re the only one feelin’ like that? I’m the reason you’re laid up; what with the stabbing and all. Also, this was ‘went too well‘? Scared to ask what the worst case scenrio was in your depraved little mind. Stede: Truth be told, the stab was for my peace of mind as well. Hopefully as cathartic for you as it was for me. Ed: [horrified silence] Things are... super weird right now, but-... Before shit went sideways, Lucius was telling me about the wonders of self care. Stede: Oh no, I feel fantastic! Absolute bliss, believe me! It’s just...

Stede: But of a novice with this, genuine courtship, let alone the pirate kind! No clue. Plus I didnt facror in the wound-. Perhaps I’m overthinking Ed: hmm Stede: Hard to believe, I know. Ed: If you’re uneasy, I can back off a bit Stede: Not from being with you. The opposite actually. I’m scared I won’t be able to treat you how you truly deserve. If I could shoulder your trauma for even a moment, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’d do anything really.

Stede: Sometimes I recall the hurt in your eyes when I first returned, and it forms a pit in my stomach. That’s all. Ed: I’m terrified, Stede. Never thought I’d find something like this. Someone who sees the me I hid for so long. I’m in the same boat as you this time. I’ve never done... all this before either. Feeling ‘n shit

Ed: No plan. Have no idea how this’ll go. It’s exhilarating, amazing, mortifying, sometimes i wanna throw up- I feel FUCKIN’ ALIVE!

Ed: You feel it too, right? Stede: Of course, my GOD, man Ed: Then, you being on this ship is enough, Stede. Knowing you’ll be here to peel me off the ground and put me back together. That’s all I need. And I’ll keep your fancy ass alive everytime you rip open your guts. Stede: Well, that just won’t due for someone of your caliber. Bare minimum really. After all,

Stede: I’d be dead many times over by now without you Ed: Yeah, you would. Ridiculous man. Stede: I think you fancy a ridiculous man

Ed: Yeah, think maybe I do. No one’s ever gonna take him away from me again. Including the lunatic in front of me. FANG! Come fix up captain bonnet. And strap him to a chair so he stays put [stede sighs]

Stede: If you can believe, not my first stint being tied to a chair Lucius: Oh, I believe pretty easy

Stede: Focus, Lucius. I have to nail this rebrand Lucius: I’m sorry, I can’t see anything else you’d be. Maybe grow a mustache? Stede: Now there’s an idea!

Lucius: Yeah, you’d look very dilfy Stede: Dilfy? Ed: Why are you one the floor? Stede: Oh! Welcome back! Needed a change of texture! How’d it go! Ed: Boring. Gave up instantly.

Ed: Crew’s back, go irritate Izzy. Lucius: Perfect. I hate third wheeling you two specifically. Ed: Hey Stede: Well, this is a familiar angle Ed: It’s a good angle! Stede: I concur!

Ed: How’s the stitches? Stede: Ship shape! Ed: Good man. Bummed you missed the raid? Stede: A little bit Ed: You wanna cause some havoc?! Maim some people? Stede: More of perhaps managing the maiming, but yes! Share in the camaraderie!

Ed: Brought you stuff. Stede: Really? [muffled] oh lovely!

Ed: Thought you could build your public closet up again. Whatever you dont want, i’ll throw in the rec pile Stede: This wouuld look beautiful on you. keep this one. Ed: Me? These are for you, nut. Stede: Of course you! Always wanted someone to share this passion with! Even more fun when you acquire fine things together.

Stede: Only made finer by being worn by you. Ed: These are for you too

Stede: [choked noise] I thought looting books wasn’t piratey? Ed: Notice I put them in a bag and didn’t replace. Stede: Some of these are great finds! Impeccable taste as always. Ed: Meant to do that. Totally didnt just throw shit in a bag and run. Just that good

Ed: We gotta fill these shelves again with cool shit. Plus, you gotta read to the crew at night. They really miss it. Been filing complaints for days

Ed: The balls on you to kiss Blackbeard on the cheek. Unheard of! Stede: One could say, balls for days

Ed:See? Left yourself wide open! Could have easily nicked your liver Stede: Was that your real plan all along? Ed: Most coveted liver in the seven seas. Blackbeard has to have it. Stede: You could have just asked

[archivalofsins]

Common Amane Innocent talk because no I won't shut up about her and nobody can fucking make me. Look at all the prisoners wielding weapons in the new minigram that they all have access to within the prison!

Scissors something everyone canonically has access to due to Amane's voice drama.

A fucking icepick?!

Why the hell is this here? Oh, the minigrams aren't canon, some will say. They aren't canon to the timeline we're in currently. However, the prisoners are still the prisoners, and they are still in Milgram. Also, Es has confirmed there is a supply closet with an unknown amount of items in it in Amane's second voice drama. All of these are things that would commonly be found in a supply closet or a toolbox that would also commonly be found in a supply closet. Explaining how they managed to fix the sprinklers and make sandbags when the water malfunctioned in that one minigram.

Literally, everyone here, including Shidou, has access to everyday tools that could be used as weapons. Which is fucking wild considering Mu is shown to kill someone with a box cutter that is shown to be a common everyday school supply she carries in her bag. Like everyone is literally screwed this intermission and voting anyone guilty twice in the hopes of getting them restrained could very well lead to that prisoners death.

It's important to think about both Amane and Mikoto's cases seriously.

Restraint doesn't just mean they can not hurt others but that they can not defend themselves as well. Something that is necessary for both of them as they've both had their safety threatened by Kotoko,

20/06/18

Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this.

Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down. But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach.

Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that.

Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%. How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but fr now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate.

Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself.

Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……!

[TN: The word “me” here uses first person pronoun “boku”.]

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

X

And, they are surrounded by multiple people who have been implied to have killed individuals their age. From the beginning of Milgram.

From Shidou saying it's fitting that a child would be the one to judge him in his first voice drama, seeing Haruka's statements on not being good with children Amane's age turning into I'm no longer afraid of children along with being visually shown his victim was a little girl. Combined with his statements regarding Amane in his first voice drama, it is implied that his victim was around or Amane's age. Kotoko jumps a guy who doesn't seem much younger or older than Mikoto and is shown attacking people older than herself. Everyone here has killed, and they all have access to weapons.

So, I find it very interesting to see who's treated as a threat and not by the fandom.

[sumeruin]

♫♪: idée fixe

♫♪: warnings: written by a minor, modern au, yandere, dubcon but both people are into it, sorta blackmail? not explicitly but it’s kinda there, slight dacryphilia, i think that’s it but if i missed anything let me know <3

♫♪: pairing: yandere! heizou x yandere! reader

♫♪: a/n: this idea has been bouncing around in my brain for weeks i needed to get it out of there. not proofread because it’s 6am <3 might write a part two to this later but right now this is all you guys get!!!

♫♪: minor writing smut, dni if uncomfortable!!!

heizou knows what you’ve been doing. he knows that you like to follow him around whenever he does anything, knows that you have a habit of taking his things without asking, knows that sometimes, when you’re sure he’s not home, you go into his room and lay down on his bed while cuddling into his blankets. he thinks it’s adorable, really, though if you were anyone else he might not take as kindly to it, he always feels slightly giddy whenever he looks over the security camera footage in his home and sees that you’ve come over and taken another small, easily replaceable thing from his desk, or another piece of dirty silverware from his meals. he just loves all your sweet little tendencies.

he knows that you have some secrets he hasn’t yet too, and he’s determined to find them out, which is why he’s picking your lock and quietly letting himself into your bedroom in the middle of the night. he knows it’s risky, that even stepping on a single creaky floorboard could be enough to wake you up and blow his cover as the nice, charming detective that would never commit any crime, but he just can’t resist. he’s getting curious about that little notebook you always seem to be writing in, and he needs to find out what’s in it that you’re so protective of.

he’s careful not to walk too loudly as he makes his way over to your desk, his eyes lighting up when he sees that you already have the notebook he’s looking for set out on the surface.

you just make it so easy, don’t you?

he slowly reaches for it and gently paws through the pages, his eyes widening at the hastily scribbled, almost maniacal words that covered every page. he noticed they started out like how a schoolgirl would write about her innocent little crushes, but the longer time went on the more obsessive the entries looked. the first one stood out to him in particular, he could remember it as the day he finally gathered the courage to talk to you and become friends.

“february 2nd, 2020.

valentine’s day is coming up! i can’t wait to give out treats to everyone. someone new talked to me too! i think his name was heizou? whatever his name is, he’s super cute. i think i’ll try to get to know him better later.”

heizou kept flipping through the notebook entries, coming across one with a picture of him taped in it. he took note of how much more disorganized and frenzied the handwriting seemed.

“september 20th, 2020.

today i saw heizou eating in the park, he looked at me and waved and i almost fainted, he actually looked at me! he likes me enough to recognize me! i’m sure he feels the same way as i do.”

he felt a smile creep on his face. why would you want to hide this from him? he thinks it’s so cute how much you love him. unable to resist, heizou keeps flipping through the pages, around the halfway mark he notices that they go from slightly crazed, but still mostly innocent, ramblings to much more explicit, detailed wishes. he also notices that you stopped dating them at some point. he makes a mental note to ask you about later.

“heizou went to a new coffee shop this morning. he got a different order than what he usually gets, i wish i had managed to hear what it was, but the barista was being too loud. she didn’t deserve to talk to him. she took his presence for granted. if i had the chance to make heizou a drink i’d be much more grateful than she was. i hate her.”

he laughed to himself. you’re just so cute. his smile was replaced by a look of shock at the contents of the next entry.

“….i would give anything to be with heizou. i belong to him, everything that i am is entirely his. i wish i could tell him that, but i don’t want him to think i’m just a creepy stalker. what i’m doing isn’t stalking, i’m just making sure he’s safe! i’m sure he wouldn’t mind if i told him.”

heizou had finally found the incriminating evidence he needed. while it wasn’t the point of this trip, he couldn’t deny that he felt himself getting worked up at the thought of finally having you to himself. and judging by your journal entries, you’ve been waiting just as long for him.

he quickly walked over to your bed, notebook still held tightly on his hands, and gently shook you awake.

“what- heizou? what are you doing?” you looked up at him in dazed confusion, your voice slightly groggy with sleep.

“would you like to explain what you wrote in this little notebook? stalking is a crime you know, i could have you arrested.” heizou reached over to cup your cheek as he spoke, laughing at the shocked expression on your face.

“i- i just really like you a lot and i didn’t wanna tell you cause i was scared y-you wouldn’t like me too and so i started following you so i could find out more about you and th-then it got kinda out of hand but i didn’t wanna stop cause i like you so much and i’m so sorry please don’t hate me!” you squinted your eyes shut, waiting for him to reject you while trying your hardest to ignore the burning feeling on your face.

heizou hummed as he examined your features, the tears threatening to spill past your waterline, the way you leaned into his hand on your cheek, practically cuddling it, the embarrassment he could almost see radiating off you in waves. “do you wanna make it up to me?”

your eyes snapped open. “yes! i’d do anything to make it up to you, please let me!” he cooed softly at how eagerly you begged him, unable to deny how much he liked being in this position of control over you.

“if you wanna make it up to me you have to do everything i say without asking questions, ok?” heizou moved his hand from your cheek to firmly grasp your jaw, smirking to himself when he felt you try to nod against his tight grip. “good. get on your knees on the floor.”

as you were moving positions he sat down on your bed, spreading his legs to make room for you in between them. he reached for the waistband of his pants and released his aching cock from the tight confines. “now, you’re going to suck my cock, and if you do a good enough job, i’ll forgive you. got it?”

you vigorously nodded, already leaning in to press a light kiss against the head. you opened your mouth and slowly started to take him into it, making sure to use your hands on the parts you couldn’t quite get to with your mouth yet. you felt his hands come down on your head, harshly pushing you to take him even deeper and making you gag and choke around him, tears starting to bubble up in your eyes.

“c’mon, i’m sure you can do better than that. you do want me to forgive you, don’t you?” heizou knew he was being a little mean, but he couldn’t help it. you just looked so cute below him, so eager to please that you’re choking on his cock and refusing to come back up for air. he knew you’d do it, but he didn’t think you’d be this enthusiastic about it.

you made yourself suck more of him in at the empty threat in his words, his tip hitting the back of your throat and your nose finally hitting the hard muscle of his abdomen as you tried to remember to breathe. the soft, breathy moans heizou let out when you managed it made it all worth it though, and you started bobbing your head with a newfound determination.

heizou couldn’t wait to fuck that determined little look off your face.

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Prologue? Pilot? IDK Man I Just Work Here

part 1.1

{hello and welcome to the very first chapter of the full house au. i know @moreover-clover and @redley-of-many-noodles offered to beta this fic for me; i appreciate that and i may very well take you up on it for later chapters, but tbh i have homework that really needs to get done and i will not be able to focus on anything else until i get this out of the way, so... hopefully its not terrible i guess. that said, i did initially start writing this in past tense and then decided to do it in present instead, so if anyone notices a typo/tense error, feel free to point it out so i can fix it lol

trigger warning for mentions of injuries and death

now without further ado...}

~~~

Stumbling past the automatic glass doors, covered in blood- but is it his own? Or does it belong to the barely conscious man he’s dragging along beside him?

Probably both.

The bright white lights overhead burn his eyes and the sharp sterile scent of chemicals does the same to his nose- this is not a pleasant place to be, but it’s the only place to be right now. It’s their only hope of not losing yet another person to this alternate dimension shit that’s been plaguing their lives for three years.

Seeing Eddie’s crumpled, torn-apart body in the Upside Down, watching Dustin sob over him- that had been bad enough. They may have had almost matching wounds, but Eddie’s were deeper, and there were twice as many of them, and, god, that could have been him, it should have been him.

Dustin’s devastated and the world is ending and we’ve lost someone else and dammit didn’t I tell him not to be a hero?

But then he’d found a pulse. The faintest flutter, but it was there, and it spurred him right back into action, adrenaline pumping overtime through his veins even as he was ready to collapse. Both of them might well be on death’s door, but they had hope.

And then, just as they made it back through the gate, they had gotten the call over the walkie about Max.

The panic and despair threatened to settle back over him, driving him into the ground with its weight. He had been trying so hard to keep her safe since they realized she was Vecna’s next target, and now…

They were supposed to meet up at the hospital, so that’s where he went. He has to see the kids and he has to keep Eddie breathing and maybe just maybe he’ll get a chance to get his own wounds looked at, if there’s time. Robin will never forgive him if he lets rabies take him out.

So he and Dustin have Eddie slung between them, barreling clumsily through the Hawkins ER like a lopsided bull in a proverbial china shop while everyone else stares on in confusion and horror at the state they’re in. If anyone recognizes the fallen king or the target of the ongoing manhunt, they don’t say anything, and for that one tiny thing in the long and awful list of what’s happened today, he’s grateful.

There are, however, voices aimed in his direction, lilted up at the end in interrogation, but he can’t afford to think right now; he can only keep moving forward, giving weakly shouted answers to questions that go in one ear and out the other. His mind is clouded with fear and the desperation to get all his important people back together in one room so he can see that they’re all still alive. If they aren’t, if someone is missing, if Max doesn’t make it, if no one will treat Eddie-

He’s vaguely aware that he’s begging at this point, but he doesn’t care. His brain is too busy listing.

Robin, Nancy, Erica, Lucas- they’re together, they’re with Max. The Byers are all the way in California; Mike is probably on his way back right now- what a mess to come home to. Dustin- he’s with me. Safe. Eddie- also with me, not safe, probably dying.

They may not have known each other long, but he does feel tears prick his eyes at the thought- they had literally marched into hell together, after all. A nurse offers him a tissue- when did they get here? When did he sit down? And why is the room spinning like the Starcourt ceiling last July?

He doesn’t get an answer to any of his questions, doesn’t even get to voice them, before the room is going dark and Dustin’s frantic voice at his side is sounding further and further away, until everything goes quiet.

~~~

The silence is broken by a harsh ringing noise, followed by muffled voices, the latter growing clearer as the former slowly fades out. He knows those voices.

He jolts upright, sending a sharp trail of pain through his lacerated torso, but is momentarily distracted by the fact that he had somehow wound up in a hospital bed between blacking out and waking up. As soon as his mind catches up to speed on his new whereabouts, he looks wildly around the room- not exactly a typical hospital room, but that hasn’t registered yet- taking stock of every face he can see, every voice he can hear.

To his immense relief- and also confusion- he sees Max in a bed just like his right across from him, Lucas and El at her side. She’s in bad shape, but she appears to be alive, at least.

Thank god. Wait- El? What is she doing here?

The next thing he sees is the entire Byers family- plus two extra guys, one of whom looks familiar but way paler and thinner and more beaten up than Steve remembers- squeezed onto a couch at the far end of the room.

Weren’t they in California? And- hold on- is that Hopper? Isn’t he dead?

Wait.

Am I dead?

Before he can have an existential crisis, though, something snaps him out of it. A hand on his shoulder, rougher than he would have liked, to be honest, but grounding. Dustin- who he realizes must have been sleeping in the chair between him and the next bed over- has just woken up in time to catch him doing the same, and the kid looks thrilled. Exhausted, emotionally drained, but thrilled.

“Steve! Guys, he’s awake!”

All eyes turn his way, just about everyone accounted for, it seems, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wonders how Robin and all the kids got here with their usual chauffer currently out of action. But then he notices something else. Something that honestly shouldn’t be as startling as it is, considering everything else going on.

All the parents are here too. And they look… well, about how they can be expected to look, given the circumstances.

“Good, I’m glad you’re alright,” says Karen Wheeler, arms crossed over her chest, menacing gaze sweeping the room. “Because my son came home in the back of a pizza van, begging us to take him to the hospital, where apparently you and two of his other friends have been half-dead all night in the middle of these so-called ‘earthquakes,’ and I’d really like an explanation. From all of you.”

~~~

The room was dead silent, the parents staring in wide-eyed shock as the long-winded, traumatic narrative drew to a close.

“So… I guess you guys need some time to process all that, huh?”

Dustin’s question was met with a sudden cacophony of returning inquiries, sharp and frantic and tinged with bewilderment, overlapping one another in their haste. It was hard to tell who said what through the haze of whatever painkillers they put in his IV.

“How the hell did we not know about any of this?”

“Hawkins is cursed?”

“Why didn’t any of you say anything?”

“All this has been going on under our noses for years?”

He had been expecting disbelief, accusations of letting their imaginations run away from them, but… their tale connects a few too many dots, makes a little too much sense, considering how strange and malevolent life has become in their formerly sleepy little town.

“Are- are you guys- mad?” Will asks, even though he, out of all of them, has the least to worry about.

Before any of them could answer, Mike jumps in, “Because, if you are, that’s really not fair, we’ve sorta been through a lot as it is-”

“And that’s exactly why we’re mad- no- furious. Our kids have been going through hell right in front of us and we had no idea! Of course we’re going to be upset about it! You guys could have died, and we would have had no idea what happened!”

“Well, yeah, I guess, but- we didn’t. We’re fine, mom…”

“You are absolutely not fine. After everything you just told us about? There’s no way you could possibly be fine. This whole thing is so far outside the realm of fine.”

There’s a heavy pause after that; it’s not like anyone can disagree with her. When no response comes, she turns her fierce, teary eyes on the older teens.

“What about you guys? You- Steve, Jonathan, Nancy- you’ve known about all this the whole time! Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you come to us for help?” It sounds like an accusation, and yet… there’s more pain in her voice than anything. Her targets wince, crumple, while Robin and Argyle- whoever that is- just sort of awkwardly shuffle about off to the side, none of them meeting Mrs. Wheeler’s gaze.

It's Joyce who ends up breaking the tense silence.

“In their defense, Karen, Hop and I knew about all this too. The thing is- we weren’t allowed to tell anyone.”

Having become one of her anger’s new targets, Hopper quickly explains, “The Hawkins lab freaks made us sign a bunch of NDAs, take a vow of silence on the whole matter, basically. It was the only way to get them to cooperate. If we had gone around telling people, we could’ve put everyone in even more danger. And besides, before now, would you have even believed us? If we had told you there were monsters like something out of a sci-fi movie hunting folks down, taking over minds, opening portals to another dimension- right in the middle of Hawkins?”

“Would you have believed your kids?” Joyce adds softly, addressing all her fellow moms in the room.

At that, Karen deflates. She exchanges a look with Sue and Claudia, and speaks for all of them when she says, “I… I guess not. I want to say I would have, but… it’s all too crazy. If we hadn’t seen what we saw today, and if you all didn’t have each other backing up your story, well… honestly, I would have thought you were making it up.” Apparently the Wheelers had almost driven right into one of the rifts- one of the very obviously otherworldly rifts- on their way here. Well, they had to find out somehow.

“And that’s another reason we couldn’t tell you. We didn’t want you to think we were crazy,” Nancy explains.

Lucas tacks on, “We also didn’t want you to send El back to the lab, or to any other messed up place that would lock her up and hurt her.”

El nods seriously, a fearful expression flashing across her face as she takes a step back, bumping into Max's bed. Lucas places a reassuring hand- the one not occupied with holding Max's- on her shoulder.

“Oh- honey, no, we would never do that. Don’t worry. We actually owe you a lot, it sounds like; I can’t thank you enough for saving my children’s lives. You’ll always be safe with us, as far as I’m concerned.”

“But that’s the thing,” Susan interjects, not taking her watery eyes off her comatose daughter. “They’re not safe, none of them are, not here. And they haven’t been for a long time, it seems. I don’t know when they will be safe. I hate to say it, but I don’t think our kids should stay in Hawkins.”

This triggers a rush of protests from the kids, voices once again blending in a way that’s difficult for Steve to keep up with.

“But- but Hawkins needs us! Now more than ever!”

“Yeah! We have to stay and fight!”

“We can’t just let Vecna have our town!”

Hopper motions for everyone to settle down. “Listen, kids. I know you want to help, but you’ve been fighting this battle for too long as it is. You all never should have been involved in something so dangerous in the first place.”

“Right, what he said. I mean, you’re just kids, for god’s sake!” Claudia adds in, although she still looks mostly stunned by everything she’s just found out about.

“This is not your responsibility. We’ll stay here and fight, and you all will get somewhere safe, somewhere far away from all this.”

This does indeed sound like a direct order from their returned-from-the-dead resident chief of police. What comes next, though, is much gentler, fatherly, and he’s definitely looking right at El when he says it.

“Let us take it from here, okay?”

~~~

{i decided to break this up into 2 parts; idk when ill post the second half but it should be fairly soon. also dont know when ill put it up on ao3 as i dont currently have an account there, but im definitely planning to bc with as much as i have planned for this au so far its going to be a pain in the ass to read it all here lmao

edit: its going to be 3 parts instead of 2

Link to part 1.2 here}

[cinamun]

Hi Cin!! I hope your day is going well so far!!

This is going to be long so I’m sorry in advance…

Okay so, I’m gonna start with saying I don’t like Bishop. I like him as a character in the sense that I like knowing how people think and why they do the things they do. Motives, ya know? So naturally his character intrigues me. BUT, I can’t stand the role he plays in this story and the way he treats others around him, especially Mercy. He is vile and abhorrent. That being said, what is he currently doing wrong? He could be trying to cover his ass while also weirdly caring about her, not in the sense of getting soft and mushy but in a way where what happens to her affects him because clearly he benefits from having her around even if that’s just so he can continue to manipulate her. Maybe he is just helping her so she doesn’t die. He doesn’t have to care about her extremely deeply to want to make sure she doesn’t die. Regardless of his intentions…she’s still breathing, he’s getting on her every single time she gets up, he’s making her eat, he told her to call her son, he said d she’s free to go as soon as she’s able to stand on her own but she can’t. She’d get back to her apartment and end up right back on that floor. Who else was showing up to check on her? She would’ve probably died on that floor. No one was coming any time soon. Except him. Could’ve just been right place, right time but still. It could be as simple as I’m around this person very frequently, they’re hurt, I’m going to fix it. Doesn’t mean he’s had a change of heart. He could just be simply taking care of her bc she’s severely injured and no one else is there and she’s being stubborn about it. Like Cin said, there’s no telling what kinds of nasty injuries him or his cell mates may have sustained while incarcerated. I’m sure he knows a thing or two about concussions. OR it could just be to cover his ass and not be a suspect or manipulate her into trusting him again. Either way…she’s alive, right? Because of him, right? And I’m only defending him bc SHE ATTEMPTED TO STAB HIM WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING THUS GETTING FLUNG ACROSS THE ROOM TO PRESERVE HIS OWN LIFE. Prison instincts are a very real thing. In that particular situation this one time, he had a valid reason but used way too much strength and now she has a head serious head injury. It could have genuinely been an accident. You don’t have to care about someone to acknowledge that you severely injured them without meaning to and you feel obligated to take responsibility bc not only was it your fault but they’re not taking care of themselves and neither is anyone else. I will keep saying it….if he wanted her to die or didn’t care to some degree about her life, she would’ve been gone by now.

Now…I am fully aware that I could be loud and wrong and I will admit it if I am. We all know Bishop and we all know nothing is ever what it seems. I’m just going based off what we currently are seeing and how we got to this particular situation.

[bullet-prooflove]

Not Me: Vostanik Sabatino x Reader

Tagging: @thiashazzywriting @words-and-seeds @novamariestark @whateversomethingbruh @trublu2u @stelacole @kmc1989

It’s not the ex boyfriends Nik worries about, it’s the girlfriends. He knows what he’s completing with when it comes to other men, women are a completely different ballgame.  The relationships they’re much more intimate.

When the two of you run into Marina, the girl you were with before him, Nik knows she’s still in love with you. It’s in the way she looks at you, touches you, kisses you. It riles him more than he cares to admit because she treats him like a bystander, as if he wasn’t just holding your hand thirty seconds ago.

She’s just affectionate, you say when he tries to address it later.

She wants to fuck you, is what he grumbles back.

You flick cold water into his face because you’ve just washed your hands and you think he’s being facetious.

Nik can doesn’t need a crystal ball to see what happens next, in fact Marina makes sure he has a front seat when she sees the car pulling up and kisses you. There’s a sensuality to it, her palm comes to rest on the nape of your neck as her thumb chases over the line of your jaw. You don’t pull away and that’s the thing that gets Nik.

Marina represents everything you could have if you weren’t with him. Stability, a person to come home to, someone who cares for you, who can be there for you. That’s what he sees when he looks at Marina.

He doesn’t say a word when you get in the car. The silence it hangs like a weight around his neck as he starts the engine and begins the journey home.

“I’m gonna go back to hotel tonight.” He says, his gaze fixed straight ahead, his hands dripping the steering wheel. “I have an early flight in the morning.”

“Nik...” You began but he shakes his head.

“Don’t.” He says sharply.

“Nik, don’t do this to me, don’t shut me out.”

“Get out of the car.” He snaps at you.

“Nik…” You try again. “Alana, just get out the fucking car.”  

You take the keys instead.

The engine cuts out and he feels that anger dissipate along with it because the thing is he’s not really mad at you, or Marina, he’s mad at himself because he can’t give you what you deserve and that’s becoming clearer everytime he makes the trip back to LA.

“I can’t love anybody else.” You say into the silence. “If you do this right now, if you leave me you won’t be doing me a favour. You’re doing yourself one. You’ll go back to being Sabatino but maybe that’s what you want, because it’s easier than tearing yourself apart every time you have to leave.”

That’s the real issue. It isn’t that Marina kissed you, that she’d be good for you, it’s the fact that he keeps leaving and every single time he does a little piece of him dies. He worries that a little piece of you does too.

“I don’t want to keep hurting you.” He says quietly. “But I don’t know any other way to do this. I love you but I can’t see a world in which this works out for the both of us.”

He trails off, tilting his head towards you.

“I think it’s time to  pull the ripcord on this thing before we do anymore damage to each other.”

You press the car keys into his hand, the jagged edges scrap against his palm as he grips them in his fist.

“Go fuck yourself.” You snarl, kicking open the passenger side door. “When you’re lying alone in your bunk in Syria or Iraq or wherever the hell they send you just remember you’re the one that gave up on us. Not me.”

Love Nik? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[im-overstimulated-and-im-sad]

I'm so glad that someone else loves Rory! What would you name as her three best qualities? There's so much focus on her flaws and mistakes, but I think she has so many positive qualities too, so I'm trying to spread positivity :) I'll always love and relate to her.

Hi!! I agree so much- I love Rory so much and it makes me sad when people say she’s the worst or the villain (a longer rant I won’t give here but I think there’s a lot of shows that do not HAVE a villain- like in a show like Gilmore girls I feel that the main villain is the concept of pride-

Back to Rory!

1. She is an amazing friend (starting with this because it grinds my gears that I��ve seen so many lists about what a horrible friend she is. But she does so much to help Lane when they’re in high school to get around Mrs Kim’s rules and yes she has moments where she is human and distracted but by and large she does so much and cares for Lane- and then Paris- who literally ends her friendship with Rory over something Rory didn’t actually do THREE separate times throughout the course of the show- Paris who walked up to Rory when she first met her and said you’re a loser I’ll always be better than you and by all accounts Rory is better in school but she knows it would hurt Paris to hear that and is protective of Paris’s feelings even when Paris mistreats her ie she doesn’t tell Paris her PSAT scores because she knows Paris couldn’t take knowing Rory’s scores were better- and then when Paris (who again takes a moment out of her day to unnecessarily antagonize Rory that she’s such a loser who will never beat Paris and then Paris finds she didn’t get into the school she wanted Rory doesn’t gloat or even tell her about it- she goes over to tell Paris how smart she is and to get out of bed and get back to her life (like dealing with Paris that alone makes Rory a saint)

2. In general Rory treats people with respect- like compare how she is the editor of the Yale daily news or the summer tutoring thing to how Paris does it- Paris who thinks that being editor of a college newspaper means that she can tell people they don’t have the right to go to the bathroom or be addressed by name, whereas Rory generally treats people with respect (which may seem like a low bar, and you can tell Paris isn’t my favorite character but I can’t figure out how Paris is such a beloved character these days it’s like Paris abuses waiters in canon- like that is literally in an episode I don’t understand how Paris is so popular)

3. And this is the biggest one- Rory will realize when she has made a mistake and try to fix it (and I am talking more about the og seven seasons cause I don’t think that AYITL did anyone any favors lol) but Rory is so young in the og series and she makes big mistakes but she realizes where she went wrong and tries to fix it (compare this to Paris who never acknowledges she has done anything wrong- like Paris is the “I have never done anything wrong ever in my life meme” embodied) and Rory makes mistakes because she’s human and she’s young but she tries so hard to fix them-

Just my opinion but I feel that Rory is a good person with such a kind heart and this gets overlooked very much

Thank you for the ask!! 🥰🥰

[your-phantomfield]

MAI = NATSUME

i .. ii .. iii circa 2198 for @tokufan400

I.

Cooking is a great way to take care of your loved ones. A good meal makes anyone happy, there are countless ways you can experiment and personalize your work, you don’t need fancy words or a whole lot of money to express your feelings this way, and learning someone’s favorite foods is like learning more about them as a person! For anyone who enjoys cooking, part of the fun of dating is learning all your partner’s favorite dishes and seeing their eyes light up when you surprise them with one!

Which is why things with Mai are starting to stress you out. She’s a wonderful girl; earnest, hardworking, always kind. But there's something about the subject of food that's causing a bit of a problem in your relationship.

The problem started early on.  When you first brought up that you liked to cook, she seemed to take it fine... but looking back on the memory now, her reaction does seem a little off.  At the time you figured maybe she just wasn’t that much of a foodie, or maybe it was just the typical nervousness of early attraction.

As you started dating, Mai never seemed interested in lunch or dinner dates. It was the one type of date that she always seemed to need to rain check last minute. The times you’ve tried to bring her a treat, she’s always claimed that she just ate, so she’ll have to take the food home and eat it later. She’s reluctant to even try it in front of you!

II.

At first it’s a little heartbreaking- you can’t help but wonder if she’s not interested in you, or trying to hide something, the way she’s being so evasive. You may not want to doubt her, but she’s flat out not acting normal. You start looking for other signs, and things go from upsetting to… outright worrying.

At some point you notice that you never see her eat.  At all.  With you, or with anyone else.  The next time she assures you she already ate before she met up with you, you try to ask her about what she ate.  She seems thrown off- even frightened- by the question.  When she answers, it honestly sounds like she’s making something up.

This pushes things past the point of you being worried about your relationship, and into the realm of you being worried about her. You're becoming more and more convinced that your girlfriend is hiding an eating disorder.

III.

This is where you learn about Mai’s unique condition, and her complicated relationship with food.

Mai Natsume really can’t eat. Well, she can- she still has to, like anyone else- but it isn’t easy for her. There was an… incident, back in her teen years, that messed up her sense of taste really bad. She was in the hospital for a while. Since then, she really can’t taste her food at all.

Instead, she experiences this bizarre sensory overload. She calls it ‘super taste.’ When she puts something in her mouth, the taste is there, but it’s buried under all kinds of other information about what she’s eating. The thoughts and feelings of anyone who cooked the food come rushing into her head, alongside the sentiments of the ingredients themselves. It's like everything in the dish is alive and screaming at her from the inside of her head.

She laughs awkwardly as she tells you the story, almost shaking. She won't look you in the eyes. You are her first relationship, and she didn't want to ruin things like this. She knows how insane this all sounds, and what's worse, she knows how much you like cooking.

She understands that this might be a total deal breaker for you... if you can even believe it in the first place.

IV.

Her story explains her odd behavior, and it addresses some of your concerns, but it also brings on several new ones.  What has she been eating, if eating is so painful for her?  She has to eat something, right???

She's able to reassure you that she does eat, but she's not enthusiastic about it.  When she joined Sector Seven, an entire small team was tasked with attempting to fix her condition.  They failed, in the end, but their experiments did produce the least agonizing way to feed her.

Her daily meals are protein packed rations with all the flavorful appeal of prison food.  All ingredients are synthesized beyond recognition in an attempt to distance them from whatever form of genetic memory Mai's taste picks up on, and packed with neural depressants to try to prevent the sensory overload she experiences.  These meals are bland, tasteless, and they still leave her with headaches, but at least she can eat.

V.

With the truth out in the open, Mai can finally stop avoiding your questions and tell you her favorite foods. The truth is, she doesn’t have one, considering how awful everything is for her. Since her taste changed, there’s only ever been one thing she can eat and actually enjoy… Her mouth is practically watering as she explains that one of her old friends is such an amazing cook, they can make food that Mai can eat, and it even tastes good! Great, actually! She describes it like heaven.

Naturally, this catches your attention. If it’s possible for one person to crack the code on how to make food Mai can eat, then it has to be possible for another person to learn to do the same. You’ve been wanting to cook for Mai since you first fell for her. Learning just how miserable her experience with food is has turned that ‘want’ into a full-on mission.

It’ll be just like learning a new recipe- or, maybe a whole new style of cooking. You’re sure you can do it. People have been fine tuning how they cook and developing whole new menus for people with special dietary needs for centuries! Vegan menus, gluten sensitivities, all KINDS of allergies- what Mai has must be just, like one of those on steroids. And she just confirmed that it’s possible to cater a menu to her needs. Whoever this mythical chef friend of hers is, you need to meet them and start studying with them asap!!!

VI.

This leads into a new problem. Mai hasn’t seen this friend since she left school. She doesn’t know where they are now, and considering her work with Sector Seven, it isn’t entirely safe to go hunting them down. If Mai was comfortable doing that, she would have done it already.

So, you won’t be able to learn directly under this mythical chef. Fine! It’s not going to stop you now that you know a solution is out there. As long as you consider yourself a cook, your girlfriend is not going to be eating bland sensory hell food for the rest of her life!!! Mai is worried about making you go out of your way for her, but even as she tries to tell you you don't have to do this, she's practically jumping out of her seat in her excitement. Your whole relationship you haven't been able to share your love of cooking with her, and now here she is, eyes lighting up and telling stories about foods she wants to try again one day. There is no way you're going to give up now.

VII.

Your first step from there is to talk to the research team behind Mai's meals at Sector Seven. You need to learn what they already know that works, what doesn't, and all the 'safe' ingredients or techniques you can use as a baseline. It's 95% complicated drug names you've never heard of, but you're learning.

You also need to taste what she's eating now. You don't have super taste, you have normal human person taste, but even then, this stuff is gross. You find you hate eating it, even without it beaming a flood of nonsense into your mind and giving you a migraine- you can't imagine how Mai manages to choke it down.

Then it's long talks with the research team to swap ideas. They're a bunch of chemists, not a bunch of chefs, so there have to be things they're missing. Unfortunately, a lot of your early ideas to improve the taste have already been tried and just make things worse for her. The issue for her is stimulation, and adding much flavor or any of the ingredients you'd usually use would bring her back to the hell she experienced before they started making special prescription rations for her.

No matter what you make, it’s going to need to be packed with sedatives. Which makes you feel like some kind of mad scientist, rather than a cook.

VIII.

At the very least, you could do a lot to improve the visuals and atmosphere of her meals. Again, these are a bunch of chemists that are cooking for her. Her meals may still have to taste like muddy dog food until you’ve made some kind of breakthrough, but they sure don’t have to look like it.

It’s an interesting experience for a cook, focusing all your attention on the visuals of her meals rather than the flavor, but it definitely grows your skills in new directions. People have said food can be an art, and plenty of studies have shown that the way a meal looks and smells will impact the way it tastes. Maybe if you can stimulate her taste through her other senses, rather than directly via her tongue, you can avoid triggering her condition.

☆ Bonus ☆

The fun part about all the research and experimenting you have to do is all the time you're able to spend with Mai now. You sit down with her for all her meals, so different from only weeks ago when your girlfriend would disappear into the night at the very mention of dinner. Now you sit with her and brace yourself for the most unappetizing gruel you've ever had the displeasure of dining on, a notebook or a recorder at your side to track the ideas and complaints that come to mind.

You hold her hand and let her squeeze while the pain washes over her, sitting in silent comfort until she's ready to talk- then maybe make a few jokes about the awful meal to get a smile back on her face. You grill her for everything she experiences- taste, thoughts, pain, smell, anything- and the two of you spend an hour or more brainstorming together. You tell her about the foods you love, and steadily she opens up about which ones she wants to try one day, and the meals she misses most from before her taste changed. She hasn't been cured, yet, but being able to share the experience with someone is life changing in its own way.

She doesn't dread when it's time to eat anymore. What's more, alongside the thoughts clouding her mind as she eats, she can feel how much you love her as she eats your cooking.

She can hear the thoughts you had during the hours you worked to make something that wouldn't hurt her, something she could enjoy.

The first time she eats a meal you worked on, using all the weird ingredients from Sector Seven and all the tricks you've learned, she breaks down crying.

You're afraid you may have messed up- that something you did to the food is hurting her.

She's not in pain, though, and she'll tell you that when she can stop crying.

The first words she manages to choke out through a sob are,

"I love you too."

[shedidntevenswear]

It’s my 30th birthday!

which means i’ve had this exact tumblr account for literally half of my life lol embarrassing

Because I am my mother(Taylor Swift)’s daughter, I decided to take a page from her book and share 30 things I’ve learned in my 30 years of life so far:

It’s the people, it’s the people, IT’S THE PEOPLE. In anything you do, any space you inhabit, the people around you are what actually matters, not the dogma or the process or whatever. Act accordingly. 

Some things can go to the group chat instead of out on the internet.

Listening without trying to fix things is an important skill, especially when talking to yourself. 

Therapy is worth the money. 

Not everything that is great or meant for you is meant to last forever. Embrace ephemera.

You really can find everything you need on NOT Amazon, it just takes a little more work. Generally the work is worth it. 

Different things work for different people, you don’t need to apply whats best for someone else to yourself and you definitely don’t get to decide that what’s right for you is how everyone should be living. 

I read so much more after embracing audiobooks and 2x speed. 

Liking things is so much cooler and more fun than hating things.

WEAR SUNSCREEN EVEN WHEN YOU DONT THINK YOU NEED IT.

The best way to live in community is with a soft front and a strong back. 

Getting outside and moving my body actually does make me feel better, damn it.

Take the Uber sometimes. Don’t be a hero.

You can’t always believe everything you read on the internet. 

Relatedly, you don’t always have to believe the opinions of people on the internet about you or the things you care about. You don’t always have to give the same weight to the things internet people say as you would to people who know you. 

Feelings need to be felt. 

Things you enjoy doing are worth doing even if you aren’t “good” at them. 

I’ve learned how to be alone with myself without descending into crippling loneliness immediately #justextrovertthings

Check the weather before you leave the house.

Certainty isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The vulnerability that comes from uncertainty is where connection happens. 

It’s actually totally fine to eat the same thing every day if you are getting the fuel you need and you like how it tastes. Not everyone has to be a chef.

Opinions are not facts. 

You’ll enjoy life so much more if you just let yourself have a little treat every day. 

You can have fantastic, budget-friendly European vacations if you simply don’t care about the quality of where you sleep. (aka I’ve slept on a lot of overnight buses and in the most basic BnBs)

Nine times out of ten, it’s not personal. People are thinking more about themselves than they are ever thinking about you when making the decision to do or say something. 

There are so many things out of my control. Wisdom is realizing what I can control, and satisfaction comes from concentrating my effort there and letting go of the rest. 

There *are* good men out there, they are just exceptionally hard to find. Very few of them are single though. 

The goal of life is not to be a “good” person, it’s to be a person who does good and acknowledges and apologizes and improves when they’ve done something bad. 

Nobody notices or cares if you wear the same shirt two or three days in a row when you work over Zoom. Save those laundry coins. 

It’s never too late to start something new. Discovery and learning new skills and trying new things has no age limit. 

[beaulesbian]

Literally all signs now point to “El deserves better”.

(this is kind of a companion post for my gifset about similar thing)

But first shortly about Will and Mike so it’s out of the way.  I don’t like the whole “Will deserves better” from people who think Mike only acts as an asshole and a jerk. He made mistakes but that’s not his whole personality.

And most importantly, because Will knows Mike, he’s known him for over a decade, he shares his interests, he understands him even if they fight. On top of that Mike does understand Will more than anyone else, except his family. He stayed by Will’s side the whole of s2, while not treating him like he would break, and Will noticed that. Will loves Mike for who Mike is.

While Mike could be open around Will during s4, even saying how he feels insecure with El.

But with El, Mike acts different, he becomes someone else, he hides his interests (Would El even know who Superman and Lois Lane are? Mike compares them to him and El, but talks about it to Will).

Especially when they start acting more towards the romantic side of the relationship, there’s a clear difference when they’re together vs when with other people. Like in 3x1 when Mike starts singing a song he likes, and asks El if she likes it, and she doesn’t get it, she’s surprised and pushes him (playfully) away.

Then, season 4 showed a lot more signs that El is noticing something is off about her and Mike’s relationship.

She lies to him in letters, and he can’t say what she wants and needs to hear.

They’re not shown talking about basically anything. Just like Hopper in s3 said, they just spend time alone all the time. and idk? kissing? not talking?

El kisses him in 3x8 thinking that her ‘I love you’ hoping he feels the same, but it’s the opposite - Mike is confused. He goes home acting weird (most likely realizing the feelings he should have for El he has for someone else), and then during the time away from them, he spends the time calling but not reaching Will, and writing to El only “From Mike”. He joins Hellfire and lets himself be a nerd and a freak. He’s finding himself.

Yet he feels inferior in his relationship with El, like El is something that must be always better than him, a superhero. (A superman.) But he doesn’t talk about that to her, but to Will. Because despite their disagreements, Will is still beside him, patient, kind and listening, just like he always was, and just like he always will be.

And El definitely starts to notice that she doesn’t get what she could from their relationship - the note on the flowers, the monologue that definitely was full of lies and she knows it.

She loves the idea of who Mike is around her, but he can’t be fully himself around her, so who does she love?

Even on the airport it’s confirmed he wore a fake outfit in her favorite colors, hiding behind sunglasses, putting on a fake persona for her.

The monologue that doesn’t work - doesn’t magically fix all her problems to gain advantage over Vecna. On the opposite - she loses, and she’s never lost like this before. She loses Max, someone who was real and kind to her, who helped her find her true self. 

Great example about the elmike relationship is the pizza place scene in 4x9.

Mike and El are joking and laughing together. The atmosphere is light and joyful. They’re laughing together like normal close friends.

Until El initiates the hand hold. This moment when she silently reaches for Mike’s hand to hold hers.

He awkwardly does as she asks, but it feels off? He’s not fully there, not fully giving himself to her, there’s something holding him back. And just like that the atmosphere changes - it’s tense, contrast to just seconds before.

They both are trying to think of the right words.

I still believe this was supposed to be their break up scene, but because Argyle interrupted them, and because probably the Duffers wanted to show just how weak their relationship in romantic context is (- the following monologue against Vecna not working), they couldn’t say what they wanted at that moment.

Along with the two day time skip that follows it’s clear that something has changed between them, and either we will see in s5 they did actually already break up (in the two day time skip?), or soon from the beginning in s5 they probably will.

In the end they both deserves better, because El needs someone who she can be honest with, as well who will truly accept her as she is.

And Mike deserves someone with whom he doesn’t have to hide any parts of himself, he deserves to be loved and appreciated for all the love he gives with his actions.

(These are just kind of my thoughts on when I see people keep saying that Will deserves better than Mike, or Mike and El are perfect together. So yeah, if milkvans (or even bylers who don’t like Mike) are saying as arguments that Will is the one who deserves better, they clearly haven’t been watching the same show.)

[eluxcastar]

What about urd (and anybody else you wanna add) reacting to their s/o running their fingers through their hair and wanting to take care if them and just generally doting on them. Treating them like the royalty they are.

Running your fingers through their hair.

FEATURES: crowley eusford, lacus welt, basteya irclu, urd geales, ky luc

CW: none

WC: 600

NOTES: this is kinda an adorable idea ngl

Decided to take the opportunity to do some characters I usually don’t do, and Ky ig?? Idk

This has been living in my drafts for a while I thought I'd finish it since yes (*￣︶￣) lmao it's two a.m. my brain is shutting down

crowley eusford

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Doesn't actively seek it out or drag it on, but doesn't deny he enjoys it.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Probably not used to being on the receiving end? At least not as like an affectionate thing But also doesn't have the energy of someone who would do it to you either tbh 💀

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 The one thing he would ask you to do is braid his hair, since it would be nice if you did it for him instead, a little extra care and you can pretty easily convince him to let you do it all the time

lacus welt

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 He doesn’t really have much to do throughout the day sometimes, so having you there with him to give him affection in the midst of boredom would be nice, very much enjoys it when you play with his hair.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Lacus likes it in private too, there doesn't really need to be a reason for him to let you let his hair down and stroke his hair, maybe some head scratches (ﾉ´∀｀*) he seems like a headscratch enjoyer tbh

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Honestly seems like he'd like it and probably wants you to paint his nails for him, like just a casual thing you do sometimes, when the last session's nail polish is almost or completely gone you pick him out a new colour together and make his nails pretty (*￣︶￣)

basteya irclu

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Fairly indifferent, but lets you anyway. They wouldn’t actively seek you out to be coddled, at least at first this is definitely not going to last 💀

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 They’d grow more attached to it (and you) with time and it would start to become more distracting to them as they slowly ease into entertaining your whims some more

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Likes to deny that they don’t enjoy it too much, and that this is solely for you that they let you run your fingers through their hair and whisper sweet things to them, at the same time telling you that this is the least of what they deserve considering that they’re very busy and supposedly shouldn’t be paying attention to what you’re doing right now

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 They would start to request that you do it more, but you might have to ask and convince them a bit to get them to do it back

urd geales

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Likes it, it’s relaxing, he can admit that much, he’s a big kid he’s too damn old to be flirting around it

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 It’s a bit of an indulgence to him though, like he’ll only let you when he has time, there’s not much work to be done, and the little there is left can wait for you, especially if you've been waiting patiently for him to let you for a while

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 It's during the one time he gets to wind down and relax with you, so of course he enjoys letting you pamper him ♡ able to let go for a while and maybe let you mess up his hair a bit, as long as you fix it after (ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

ky luc

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 I've been waiting for this one uhuhu ☆(≧∀≦*)ﾉ Ky very much loves it when you run your fingers through his hair, it gives him tingles up his spine.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 It’s definitely a cuddling activity, starts off intentional and deliberate and slowly fades into the background, the kind of thing you do on repeat so much you forget you’re doing it, but he loves it sm you can’t just rob him of it

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Easily the most pushy, but also very eager to return the favour, a little gesture of trying to share something that makes him happy with you so you can understand it and hopefully get a little joy out of it too (*￣︶￣) ♡