#if something’s going to happen it’s going to happen to me. i am extremely unlucky

[fingertipsmp3]

At least I can cling to the fact that no matter how bad things get, it’s not October 2021 anymore

[swiftieblyth]

Troublesome Twin

Part Two: The Reaping

Warning list-

hunger games warning, abusive family, mother died in childbirth with the twins, Arachne, Coriolanus Snow, Dr. Gaul, violence, and murder.

I think that’s all, let me know if there’s more!

Word count- 1036

“How tantalizing to see all your shining young faces on this auspicious day,” Dr. Gaul stated. “I am Dr. Volumnia Gaul, your humble Head Gamemaker, in charge of the War Department and all its affiliated concerns. I have broken from my laboratory today to examine you.” She explained, looking directly at Y/N, making her shiver and squeeze Coryo’s hand in hers. “The leaders of the next generation. I won’t be around forever, after all.” She laughed. “And now, to end that, I am honored to introduce to you the creator of the Hunger Games themselves. Dean Casca Highbottem. 

“Uh,” Dean Highbottem let out, stopping to take a sip of his morphling before making his way to the front of the room. “Select students, faculty, and, of course, Dr. Gaul, I have summoned you all here today for the 10th annual Reaping Ceremony in which we choose two children from each district to throw into the Capitol Arena to fight to the death in the Hunger Games.” 

“I can’t believe they still allow him to speak in public,” Clemmie whispered to Coryo and Y/N.

“And here sit our own 25 top prospects all waiting to hear the results of hard study in this prestigious institution. Eager to learn who’s won the Plinth Prize, no doubt. And a golden future. However,” Highbottem’s words made both Coryo and Y/N catch their breaths, holding eachothers hands as tight as they could. I am here to tell you that there has been a change this year. One final assignment to prove your worth. Because the esteemed citizens of the Capital have grown bored of the Games and simply aren't watching anymore. And if the Games are to continue at all, there must be an audience. So, Head Gamemaker Dr. Gaul has stepped in to… incentivize patriotic values with her own unique flair, starting with you. The Plinth Prize will no longer be determined by who has the best grades. But by who is the best mentor in the Hunger Games.”

“What?” The students all asked. 

Y/N looked over and saw Coryo sitting in disbelief at Dean Highbottem. 

“This is a brand new role. As the Reaping progresses live, I will allocate each district tribute a Capitol mentor behind the scenes, one who must just persuade them to perform for the cameras. Obviously, the best mentor will be the one whose tribute wins the Games.”

“What if I get a pathetic runt girl from one of the poor districts, like 8 or 12? They’re just gonna die in two minutes like they did last year and the year before.” Arachne asked.

“Your role is to turn these children into spectacles, Ms. Crane. Not survivors.” Highbottem explained. “Victory in the Games is only one of our considerations. Your entire future rests on this last project.”

“Wait,” Y/N let out, gaining everyone's attention. “There are only 24 tributes, and 25 of us.”

“Right you are, Miss. Crane. There will be one unlucky student that won’t even have a chance at the prize.”

“Well, don't you think that's extremely unfair?” Y/N stated. “You called 25 students here when you only need 24, don’t you see how ridiculous that is? To give hope to 25 students when really on 24 have a chance. How are you even going to pick said ‘unlucky’ one, huh? Are you just going to let the bottom of the 25 go, or are you going to select it at random. Or maybe even choose your least favorite student, because it’s all about you isn’t it? It’s all about you and not at all about any of your students who have worked night and day, sick and healthy for this! Students who–”

“Love,” Coryo whispered, stopping her. “You gotta stop before something happens.”

“You should listen to your friend, Miss. Crane. Wouldn’t want someone beating you for it later,” Highbottem stated, making Coryo have to hold on tighter to Y/N to contain her. “Oh, and I must tell you that anyone caught cheating to give their tributes an unfair advantage… will just have no future at all.” Music started playing, gaining everyone's attention for the reaping. “Oh! Here we go. Let the Reaping Ceremony begin.”

Highbottom started reading the list making Coryo and Y/N sit nervously as they waited to hear their names. When they got to the last name they knew what fate awaited them. There was only one more tribute left and she wasn’t enough to get the money for whoever got her. 

“Oh. You’ll be happy about this, Miss. Crane,” Highbottom called to Arachne. “The ‘runt girl’ from District 12, she belongs to Coriolanus Snow. Which means. That you, Miss. Y/N Crane are the unlucky one.”

“I should have known.” Y/N spit. “We all know that Coriolanus and I aren’t at the bottom. Coriolanus is at the top, but you treat him as if he is 24 and I am 25 because we are your least favorite! You hate us so much that you decided to make one of us not have a tribute and the other one of us to have a girl who doesn’t even have a chance of surviving in that arena!” Y/N was cut off by the doors slamming open, and her father along with some of his servants storming into the room.

Y/N already knew what was coming and didn’t try to fight it. She looked at Coryo who knew as well until she was lifted by the arms and carried out of the building. 

          “What were you thinking?” Mr. Crane yelled, slapping Y/N across the cheek when they got to their house. “You disrespected the dean, you disrespected Dr. Gaul, you disrespected your classmates, and you disrespected Panem!” He yelled each word in between a punch to her face, making bruises already starting to form. “You embarrassed your name, your sister, your brother, me, and you embarrassed your mother!”

       “Mother’s not here!” Y/N yelled, tears forming in her eyes as she tasted the metallic taste of blood.

        “And whose fault is that?” Mr. Crane yelled, pushing her to the ground of her bedroom, closing the door and locking it.

[melloween-candie]

Yandere Peter Pan

Peter Pan as a Yandere Headcanon

Requested // Request Rules

"Yandere Peter Pan ouat 🥺🥺 anything I’m just simping severely"

A/n - WAIT NO LONGER! I AM NOW A FULL ON WRITER FOR OUAT!!!

I hope you don't mind that I made it as a Headcanon. I also didn't really edit it, so if you find mistakes let me know! (I don't normally edit headcanons...)

Infact I've been planning on making a yandere peter pan Headcanon as a starter sooo... BUT don't worry if that's not what you were hoping for I plan on making tons of yandere fics for him

Submitted by Anon

Warning! Yandere behavior, manipulation, physical and verbal abuse, obsession, stalking, stealing, perverted actions, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome

Word Count: 1,823

Once Upon A Time Masterlist

Fandom Masterlists

/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/

One word-

TOXIC

This boy- no, MAN is fuc*ing scary as FU*K

It all starts with his shadow (obviously)

What I mean is that once his shadow took you to Neverland, Peter took one look at you and knew you meant more than something to him. He just didn't understand or knew that yet.

Eventually, he slowly becomes obsessed with you over time.

It starts off slow... In fact, he wasn't very pleased with you at the very beginning.

When you arrived at Neverland, physically, for the first time, he questioned why his shadow would bring a lost- girl???

He was frustrated, obviously cause girls weren't as easy to manipulate, unlike boys... They normally found it difficult to hear pans flute even when they are actually lost.

It was a strange irritating phenomenon to pan...

Anyway, you all already know that Peter isn't nice and when he doesn't like something he doesn't treat it with kindness...

So obviously, he made your arrival absolute he*l

At first, he thought that you were actually one of Captain hook's members sent to trick him and gain his trust, only to be backstabbed to death.

But quickly realized that was foolish.

Anyways, when I say he made it he*l I mean he personally showed you around Neverland...

He took you to Mermaid Lagoon. He made it sound like an absolute dream to swim in it and even said it was good luck if a mermaid appears... 💀

We all know that isn't true.

But when Pan saw you struggling to breathe, he felt something that he hasn't felt in years... Pain?

Afterwards, without any second thought, he pulled you out of the water, holding your collar.

He questioned why he did that for a couple of days, and Felix started to notice...

Then, a few days later, Pan found a different way of getting rid of you.

It was more painful but less gruesome and messy.

He tricked you into pricking your fingers with nightshade.

He simply asked for you to pick some nightshade upon that mountain.

He took advantage of your kindness.

Lying about how a lost boy was sick and that was the only cure but unfortunately, no male can go up that mountain because of a powerful curse, and that's why you were brought there.

You were a little frightened at the thought of adventuring alone in a new place, and to add to it, someone's life was on your shoulders too, but you did it.

It only almost cost you your life.

You see, Pan allowed you to get extremely ill. You didn't even know what was happening to you... All Pan said was that you were just unlucky and that you should have believed more in yourself, and now since you didn't, you're going to die for it.

But on the last day, Pan felt that feeling again, but this time it was worse- it had a friend, guilt!!

Instantly, Pan got the watch from the falls and made you drink it before you died.

Pan didn't even know why he did it... In fact, he secretly accused you of being a witch because of it.

He assumed you placed a spell on him when he wasn't looking, so whenever you are in danger, he feels pain.

But he soon learned you were a normal human.

In fact, all this strange behavior started to worry a certain lost boy.

That's right, Felix.

He questioned Pan why he was acting like this, and Pan just gave him an annoyed glare as he went back to staring at you from a distance.

Soon enough, Pan learned to accept you.

Which was good on your part since now he's not actively trying to kill you.

But anyway, slowly, over time, you start to get used to your new life as the only lost girl in Neverland.

Things were perfect for a good hot second until

Pan felt this sudden chill the moment he saw a lost boy touching you on your shoulder.

Slowly, over time, he started getting annoyed.

Annoyed at the lost boys for touching you.

Annoyed at them for making you laugh too much.

Annoyed at them for talking to you for too long.

Soon enough, he started to become more jealous.

He didn't even know how silly he was acting.

He would start by making slide comments about the lost boys every time they did something with you.

That would cause them to back off, and that made him happy.

It got worse, though.

He later became more aggressive.

Every time he saw you enjoying yourself around them when he wasn't around, he'd say stuff like - "This is so inappropriate!" Or "Why are you all standing around?! Do your chores!"

And he'd give you the worst of them all. All because you're the reason why he has a reason to be jealous, to begin with.

The worst you've ever seen it was when a lost boy actually tried flirting with you.

Pan instantly 'removed them' all because they were 'sick.'

It scared you shi*less to think that if you got sick, you'd be 'removed.'

It's safe to say you never disobeyed Pan, and you didn't plan to either.

Of course, Felix was a little agitated by the way Pan was behaving lately, but he never questioned it he just told the lost boys to avoid you from now on.

But then a couple of months went by, and the torment and obvious favoritism became worse.

In fact, a lost boy even tried confronting Pan, and he was quickly removed' too.

No one questioned or disobeyed him after that.

During those months, Pan became more touchy.

More communicative with you and only you

He'd ask you to visit him in his tent more often to the point where he ended up telling you that you were the only one other than himself who was allowed in there without direct order/permission.

Felix was kind of irritated by that.

But the favoritism only grew more.

Now, when it came to your training, at first, when you arrived, Pan did everything to kill you only to back out last minute, and now, he'd do everything to train you properly without letting you get hurt.

Before, you were only to train with the strongest (to get you killed), but then you moved down to the ones with similar strength as you to him and only him...

Everyone questioned it but kept it to themselves.

As time went on, you gained the 'mother' title very quickly, and Pan didn't even give it to you.

You were just naturally loving, and Pan actually liked that about you but grew to hate it because of how much attention you would give the lost boys when they were hurt.

He thought about hurting himself to get you to show some care for him once but quickly scrapped it because he didn't want to look weak.

Moving on to phase two of Yandere Pan.

This man is creepy as FU*K!

When I say creepy, I mean he starts to stalk you.

Before, he did it to try to understand you, but now he does it to see who he's dealing with.

This is the phase when Pan kind of switches to romantic thoughts.

It happens so slowly that he doesn't even realize his feelings for you until he starts masturbating...

He actually accepts it pretty well since he's been dealing with it the moment you arrived (he just didn't know)

Anyways, when he stalks you, he's actually looking for potential threats.

He becomes more protective in secret (you'll see this side of him soon enough)

And if he sees a boy getting to goodie-goodie with you, he'll instantly put a stop to it. Not in front of you, of course. He doesn't want to scare you off.

Anyways, he also stalks you to make sure you don't have a crush on anyone.

If he realizes that you do, then say your goodbyes to your crush.

But that's not the only creepy thing he'll do.

He'll also steal your stuff.

There really isn't any other reason for him to do this other than him masturbating to it.

He obviously doesn't give it back.

You'll have to find it yourself if you want it back.

Oh, and another thing.

He would sometimes stalk you in your sleep.

There ain't even any other reason besides him being obsessed with you.

He'd even get a little risk and get in bed with you.

He'd touch and play with your hair and whisper things to you sometimes.

It's like a therapeutic moment for him, and he enjoys doing this more than he should.

And he knows it's wrong, but he's selfish, so obviously, he can't handle himself sometimes.

What I mean is that sometimes he'd kiss you without you even knowing.

Sometimes on the lips and sometimes... In other places.

The grossest thing he has probably done was jerk off on you while you slept.

Of course, he cleaned everything off with magic once he was done.

Now, on to stage threeeee!

FULL ON YANDERE!

Soon enough, Pan wouldn't be able to control himself anymore.

This is the part where his feelings were pent up and built up for way too long.

So, he ended up exploding!

Of course, not in front of the lost boys.

He didn't really care much for them so the real reason why he didn't was because he still needs them.

Again, very selfish...

So instead, he kidnaps you one night.

When he couldn't handle it anymore

I'm sorry to say this, but you had a really rude awakening.

What I mean was there would be a really high chance that he rap*s you that night.

Then he proceeds to lock you up somewhere no one will ever be able to find you or get to you without him allowing it or him being there.

He would gaslight and manipulate you into believing that everything was your fault.

That his actions were your fault.

He'd punish you both verbally and physically.

He'd punish you physically every time you refused him without cracking.

But every time you caved, he'd insult you as he did things to you.

Whether that was kissing, force-feeding, or fu*king.

You didn't even have the mental capacity to refuse him for too long.

After all, you've been in Neverland for like a year now, and you've seen tons of scary shi* that he did.

Honesty, you were practically numb by the time he kidnapped you

Mind you, I said practically.

You've gotten so used to his shi*.

But now, this was a step up...

But it didn't take long for you to get Stockholm Syndrome.

After all pan is a master manipulator!

And he always gets what he wants in the end.

Why?

Cause PETER PAN NEVER FAILS!!!

A/n

Lol get it? At the end when I said peter pan never fails~ it was a quote from the show lolol. I love myself for that 🥹🥰

ANYWAYS I hope you guys enjoyed CAUSE I SURE DID!!!

[blubushie]

I'm going to be completely honest, you are extremely cool. I do have an actual question though: When did you start using tumblr and why? What made you decide to share your story via this account?

Sorry this is a mite late, I typed all this up and then my browser crashed and I had a 5-second breathing exercise so I didn't lose my mind over my lost 5 paragraphs.

I actually had a Tumblr account from 14-17. I first joined because I had the understanding that Tumblr was largely a safe haven for the Other Crowd—people like me that were social outcasts or didn’t fit in anywhere else. I deleted that account when I was 17 because Back In My Day they were too many creeps on Tumblr that were obsessed with the sexualisation and anatomy of an intersex 16 year old boy. I had too many questions about what was under my clothes, I had too many chasers flirting with me and talking about my anatomy in ways no child should ever be spoken to or of about, and I’ve been down that road before and it got to be too much so I shot through (luckily that hasn’t happened since I’ve been here now except for the occasional hate asks).

I came back after meeting Lozza (who I’m aware is active here—please fucking DM me if you’re reading!) who got me into TF2, and I came for the TF2 crowd and to talk about my fic. Funnily enough, this all started because of Learnin’ the BLUs, and how I wanted to reach people with my writing and my take on Sniper from someone who’s been in his shoes long enough to get it.

I stayed because TF2Tumblr largely doesn’t seem to understand much about Sniper. I haven’t seen an instance of anyone really getting him down as a character—hell, I don’t think even I fully get it. I impart a lot of my own experiences onto him, but I’m lucky (or unlucky) enough that I have the ability to do so. I’m a bushman, a functionally extinct species. I’m a sniper. I’m a bounty hunter. I understand Australia and what it would’ve been like for him to grow up there as an Other, I understand the culture—a major problem with people writing Sniper in Australia is that they base him off city roo things when this bloke is from the outback. Australians aren’t a monolith. We’re not the same across towns in the outback, let alone across states and territories. And city life and outback life are two VASTLY different experiences. The outback covers about three-quarters of the Australian continent but only holds 5% of its people.

You’re alone out there.

A lot of people don’t understand, or even know, a bloody thing about sniping. There’s a helluva lotta maths involved. It’s rocket science with a rifle. They don’t understand camping, or what makes a bushman a bushman, or what drives people to be bushman, or that there’s some kinda magic in Australia itself that sings in your blood and pulls at you like a noose when you leave. They don’t think about how he wouldn’t recognise a single star when he looks at the sky in New Mexico, how the moon would be upside-down, how there’s suddenly people everywhere when most of his life he’d be lucky to see a total of five people over the span of a month. That shit affects who you are as a person. They also don’t understand that shy, gentle Sniper wouldn’t be a thing—shyness and gentleness is not something people are looking for in someone who deals with other people through violence. Clients want confidence, determination, they want someone cold but friendly enough that they themselves aren’t afraid to approach them.

He's a professional, and a businessman. I am too.

The fandom has a tendency to tip the scale in one of two directions far too often. It lacks nuance and balance. Me being here, a bushman and sniper and bounty hunter, hopefully provides some much-needed perspective to a fandom that I sometimes feel is lacking it.

Over the year I’ve been here, I’ve sparked friendships and connections and I’m so glad I made the decision to come back. People are reading my fic and liking it, I’ve got mates, and all’s good. My being comfortable in the hole I’ve carved out for myself in the escarpments of our little hellsite has made me feel I can be more open about who I am and what I do. That’s how you ended up with me telling my stories about the things I’ve seen out in the bush, the things I’ve experienced, the people I’ve met over my adventures and the person I’ve grown up to be.

I also came because (if you haven't noticed already) I have a Whole Lotta Thoughts about a Whole Lotta Things. And I stayed because, for what's felt like the first time in my life, people want to listen.

I’m glad I’ve come back, and I plan to stay for much longer this time. :]

Also thank you for calling me cool! It always surprises me when people say that cuz I just see myself as some bloke tbh 😅

[gatorbites-imagines]

Batfam x Unlucky male reader

Headcanons

I am once again writing stuff based off of ocs of mine, there won’t be any romance in this one, it’s just something I found funny.

If the reader has powers or is just unlucky is up to yall. I already have more ideas for example things involving the league and alike so let me know if you guys want to read that.

-          You had always been an unlucky person, almost to an extreme degree, but it never seemed to be you it hurt. When you were a child, scaffolding collapsed and crushed your best friend’s leg. When you were a teen your first car blew up but only hit someone else. When you got your first job, it was robbed not even a week after you started, and all workers except yourself were shot, but most survived.

-          Your manager seemed to think you were on the robber’s side, and that was the first time you were fired.

-          You streak of unluck kept going as you grew up, going from small things like the guy beside you in the coffee shop pouring salt into his drink instead of sugar, to a piece a large piece of the ceiling breaking off and crushing multiple police officers during a stakeout with the Joker.

-          You had become desensitized to death and gore when you were a child, seeing as you grew up in the lesser attractive part of Gotham.

  -          You had always thought of your life as normal, and had just come to accept that this was how you were gonna live, even if it meant you had no friends, your family had abandoned you, and you lived in some of the cheapest apartments crime alley had to offer.

-          For once your curse seemed to help you, as every time someone tried to jump you or break into your home, they somehow got into an accident or failed one way or another.

-          At some point you started to see a pattern in your firings. You would find a new job, work there for a month or two max, and something involving the bats and the rogues would happen, and you’d be fire.

-          Either you were blamed, for what reason you didn’t know. The shop was destroyed. They had to cut staff and because you were always the newest, you’d be booted, the list went on.

-          It reached a point that you started to grow a distaste for the bats and the rogues. It felt as if they were always right in the middle of whatever made you lose your job or alike.

  -          So, when Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin sauntered into the Bat burger you had scored a job at, you almost lost it. You didn’t want them to ruin this new job, your longest lasting job at 2 and a half months.

-          But you knew you had to treat them like the costumers and heroes they were, though you couldn’t help but roll your eyes and tsk when Nightwing tried to start small talk or made some dumb joke.

-          Nightwing left for their table, seemingly put off by your less than friendly nature. This resulted in Robin glaring at you, or at least you thought he was seeing as you couldn’t see his eyes.

-          You just sent him an equally nasty look before going into the kitchen to make their food.

-          Red hood must have found it funny, because you heard him chuckle, and Red Robin telling him that it wasn’t funny.

  -          It was when you were making their food that you heard glass shatter and what sounded like a common thug. They must have seen the place open and wanted to rob it.

-          You felt rage bubble inside you and grabbed a knife from the knife holder and charged out. The bats had jumped up and seemed to be about to apprehend the criminal.

-          That’s when the light flickered above you, and before you knew it the lamp above the robber fell, almost like it had been cut, and struck the person. This caused them to pass out cold, a puddle of blood started to gather under them.

-          An awkward silence fell over the almost empty fast-food joint. That’s when Red Robin said something about calling for medical help, and the other bats agreed. Hood turned to you and told you they’d take their food to go. You had a feeling he sent a look at the knife in your hands, but made no comment since this was Gotham.

  -          You had to go out back and call your manager, who was pissed they had to get up this late and come on down to talk to the cops.

-          You were once again fired. The moment your manager walked in, they yelled at you and fired you. You tried to defend yourself, but they just spat and insult and told you to get out.

-          Tightening your hands into fists, you snapped a fine and went to grab your things. As you packed your bags you heard Nightwing try and cover for you and stop your manager from firing you.

-          As you walked past your manager and towards the door, you threw them the middle finger and left towards your apartment.

-          What you didn’t see was that when you had gone out the door and were a few meters away from the store, the fryer, which hadn’t been turned off on orders of management, caught fire and blew up, but it only seemed to hit your manager.

  -          This set the detective mentality going in the four bats there, and they all gave each other looks as if they were thinking the same thing.

-          The next few nights they decided to track you. Here they witnessed the weird phenomenon around you. They also learned to stay at a distance as the fire escape seemed to dislodge right off the wall and shatter to the ground when Damian landed on it. Had it not been for his grappling gun, he would have been very hurt.

-          After this observation they bring this information to the rest of the batclan, and they decide to keep an eye on you. Some even hoped to maybe make contact and figure out what It was about, as you didn’t even seem to realize it was happening.

  -          A night when there was an Arkham breakout, you had been walking home after getting fired once again.

-          In one hand you were holding a shopping bag with the few necessary items you needed that you could afford. That’s when the joker decided to strike the street you were on.

-          An explosion rung out and you had to throw yourself down not to get hit. You laid on the ground, watching as Batman and Joker fought it out once again.

-          You squinted, feeling anger burning within you. That’s when the roof that Joke had been standing on, seemed to cave in and he disappeared from view.

-          The battle seemed to be over, and you watched Batman pull a battered and unconscious Joker out of the rubble. With a tsk you got to your feet and checked on your shopping bag.

-          As police started to flood the area, you shot one last look towards the dark shape of Gotham and felt a chill run down your spine as you met the eyes of the bat. He seemed to be trying to look right through you, so you just sent him a glare and turned, going on your way back home.

-          What you didn’t see was that the same moment you glared, a spark from a low hanging powerline shot out and almost struck Batman, had he not dodged. It made the apprehension and interest grow in Bruce, as he watched you leave. He had to figure out just who and what you were.

[givemeanaccountalready]

One last post before I turn for the night. You know how projection is one hell of a drug? And that Kotoko doesn’t like Mikoto at all while Mikoto keeps trying to befriend her? Maybe it’s because Kotoko sees the worst of herself in Mikoto and rejecting him is how she rejects that part of herself, while Mikoto sees the most pitiable parts of himself in her (like her self-imposed isolation and high standards) and is trying to give her the treatment he wished others had given him?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still firmly in the camp of “Mikoto killed somebody and John covered for him well enough that denying it ever happened wasn’t that hard,” but you guys ever hear that one saying: that the water that boiled the egg, softens the potato? Some people face adversity and when they see others face that same sort of adversity, they say, “I managed just fine on my own/I pulled myself up by my bootstraps so why won’t you?” Others face adversity and when they see others face it as well, their instinct is “I wish I had had help so I’m going to try and help.”

Now, let me be clear, I am not using childhood trauma to excuse what Kotoko did. But I’m extremely curious as to what you have to do to a kid to make them grow up to become what Kotoko is. Same with Mikoto. It’s less of an “I want an easy excuse to justify it,” and more of a “I want context to better understand what led up to this.”

From what I remember reading about the articles shown in Harrow, the pedophile she killed had a rich daddy who was implied to have swept it under the rug and got him released. For completely understandable reasons, Kotoko is pissed. Not only does he not show any remorse, but he is a repeat offender who will continue to hurt other young girls. I could understand why the cops decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and wash their hands of the whole debacle by agreeing with Kotoko and the girl’s story that it was all justifiable within self-defense. The problem Kotoko then faced was that the pedophile had a rich father who could and did pay for an independent review. And then upon hearing that the injuries his son faced before he died exceeded what one could claim self-defense, went on to publish the hell out of the story to get Kotoko punished. In Harrow, when we see her storm the warehouse, there are frames showing a partial overhead view of a woman lying on the ground, a partial view of a man with a hammer who looks very similar to the pedophile, and a clear view of a young girl bound and gagged in a dark room. Did something similar happen in Kotoko’s past and that’s why she’s so stuck in her views on strength, pain, and penance?

Same with Mikoto. DID is a rare condition that usually forms in response to extreme childhood trauma. Mikoto could be one of the unlucky few that developed it past the normal point, but it’s more likely that something happened to him when he was young. Maybe whatever happened was the reason why his parents divorced and not because his father worked all the time. Mikoto clings to his view that if he follows the rules, works hard, and checks off the boxes to the “respectability” checklist that he will be fine. Almost as much as Kotoko clings to her worldviews. It sounds like gossip-mongering I know, but I want to know to try and understand how what happened had happened the way it did and if it could have been prevented.

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

The Flash #7: The Linear Men? The Linear Men??? Si Spurrier, what is cooking in your brain and can you keep giving me a direct line to it? (I mean bringing the Linear Men in a series that also gave us Gold Beetle makes perfect sense because Rip would be so into her but wow. It looks like they've barely been used since Flashpoint too). Also it's fascinating watching the re-establishment of Max and Bart's relationship.

Barry seems to finally have risen out of his ennui a bit, only to notice Something Is Wrong With Linda and then immediately suspect (wrongly) it's Hartley. Still pretty sure Linda's main issue is PPD but it being imposed by an external source is certainly something.

Green Arrow #10: this is another issue that mostly exists for people to hug each other, while Williamson goes 'remember that these people had relationships?' Sean Izaakse's art is just so good in terms of drawing the memory backgrounds so well I can pick out the specific issues and storylines he used as references (Batman + Arsenal shoutout!)

Also, remember when Amanda Waller didn't put bombs in people's heads, she just very occasionally put explosive collars or wristbands on the most dangerous and/or irritating Suicide Squad members? (Like Captain Boomerang?) Because I do. I remember Suicide Squad 1987.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #11: part of this is me just being contrary, I know, but I am extremely not convinced we are going to see Maps as an active Robin in a main title, given Kerschl is a Gotham Academy creator anyway, and she's currently getting appearances as Meridian over in Birds of Prey. Gotham Academy continuity is only about 1/4 linked to main book continuity. (Someone is going to try and point out 'they appeared in Robin War' or something but it was an active and new title then, and honestly, nobody writing most Bat titles cares about them. It's its own sub universe. Also this story has Bruce dating Isla MacPherson, something I guarantee will not be followed up anywhere else)

Also imagine being called Karl Kerschl and coming to DC to write? How much time does this poor man spend saying "no, not Kesel".

The Artemis story remains amazing and I am fully supportive of it retconning whatever character crimes it is currently trying to excuse as weird.

Also how did we get so unlucky as to have both a Bat Lash AND a Sgt Rock story in this issue?

Amazons Attack #6: and this tied things off nicely! Honestly for an event that didn't need to happen, Josie Campbell did well with it, featured a whole host of Wonder Woman characters that Tom King's barely interacting with, and added to some relationships between characters that needed additional work.

Alan Scott: The Green Lantern #5: I am sure this is a far more meaningful issue if you care deeply about Green Lantern lore. Also DELIGHTED that the JSA team up in this series actually happens on page rather than in the final splash like in Wesley Dodds: The Sandman. (Wesley Dodds is still the best of the three minis to me, but I'm happy here that we're going to get JSA backup).

The Warlord #45: Previously on Lost World of the Warlord (I said I would) Travis set out to find out what had happened to his daughter Jennifer. He goes back to the village of dwarfs and gets his old sword back (since he chucked Hellfire into a lake), and ends up fighting some Cyclops' that took several of the dwarves to eat. Tragically nothing particularly fun happens here (though a skeleton IS tied to a cross, the bondage isn't involving any characters I care about AND it's just a warning threat)

Also something weird went on with the lettering this issue where what I think were script directions ended up as text boxes for all the scene transitions. If it was a stylistic choice on Grell's part it's a particularly odd one.

[zoroara]

Drawing too much bel has made me notice something was up with his hands. See while you may occasionally see it in other characters it's not as common with other characters(I went and checked to make sure, not the whole manga of course but you know) Bel's hands are hyperflexible, most prominently in his thumbs that essentially are drawn looking similar to hitchhicker's thumb. Whether on accident or not it's a lot more common with him. The reason I noticed this, is because I myself have this. Meaning I can actually show you some pictures to compare here since unfortunately most shown images of it when you search it up are at their most pushed state so it looks extremely odd. (not that it doesn't look like i broke my thumb in some so be warned on the below, this is just how it naturally bends)

Rest fold here, though it should be noted bel's thumb points a little more down.(for the sake of both of us, ignore the mess on my desk.)

What it should look like when holding things. ignore that i pushed my wrist at a weird angle I'll explain that additional note later.

forgot to bend the other two fingers but you can see my upper two fingers also naturally bend backwards some[like if i hold them flat they can actually go about 45 degrees backwards without pushing. if i push them with my other hand they can go a whole 90] (Yes I have a shark collection. There is more than pictured.)

just some general closed hand here.

Now there's two I didn't get pictures of but know I could. One is this

and that's because i don't want to show my face, but you can definitely see the bend once you know what to look for.

The other is this:

hard to see, but the thumb is at the bottom, as you'll notice there's almost a perfect circle to the arm which doesn't normally happen.

Also some panels seem like he's purposely trying to hide this, like when he raises his hands to show he's not going to attack in varia arc his hand looks like it's pressed together, I copied it to the best of my ability while struggling to take a picture

even like this his thumb still comes out a bit as you can see.

I don't actually see many characters portrayed with this, but what I find really interesting is that while yes, there's people with this without them, it is tied to a few disorders. The most common of these 4, which I have is Hyper mobility syndrome. it means your joints for, whatever reason(there's a few potential underlying causes) are hypermobile to extreme flexibility(though your body to counteract this can end up making your joints and muscles extremely stiff.)

which uh, based on how bel in general fucking moves, yeah he sure god damn is huh.

While hypermobility like this can lead to chronic pain(I am unlucky enough to experience this with no exact fix) potential clumsiness(Not something I experience I'm actually the least likely to stumble and fall out of everyone) and common sprains and breaks(I only broke my ankle 1 time in my whole life and never had a sprain). As you can see not all symptoms are shared.

But also, a majority of these issues can be softened quite a bit through physical therapy(didn't work for me in particular but my body just wouldn't build more muscle). As the muscle built will actually reinforce the extremely flexible joints so that they don't injure themselves as much. Given Bel probably doesn't have much of a choice but to have a training routine in the varia he likely experiences very minimal problems due to actually having the muscle and physical activity that helps.

It should be noted it often causes fatigue, and outside of physical therapy there are some things you can do. You know, orthopedics, good-ish posture(it's honestly super hard because your body wants to actively fight this to find what's comfortable), don't go extreme ranges of motion(Bel is pretty good at this except when he goes into his blood driven mode where he doesn't have self preservation but like. I fuck up all the time when i want to go do something quick and he sure does too outside of this) and so on. What drives me most insane that while I was doing this. What I found out, was standing like this:

where your knees are slightly bent forward is actually a potential recommendation to combat the fact your legs kinda are fucky. and then i went and did this and it helped some. Also while re-looking at panels Bel also has the clear stance that when he stands straight his legs go back some, which is also part of hyper mobility. there's a notable angle.

and generally his legs bend in ways that no normal person would be able to manage even when he's not being chaos

like the calf there on his right is much closer to a straight line down that it should be.

anyway, while all of this could be accidental, I just thought it'd be interesting to share. Plus you get a bit more information about this stuff regardless! (It may even end up being useful to you because some people don't actually know much about it and assume this stuff is normal if they have it. <- also me)

[thetwelfthcrow]

I know that most of the drivers know about fanfiction being out there but the thought of them discovering ships still freaks me out so much.

A lot of people will say don't write RPF then but there is a big difference between just writing it for fandom and locking it on ao3 OR actively pushing it towards the people it's inspired by. The latter can easily be avoided and not avoiding it is the sole thing that can make RPF problematic.

TWITTER IS TOO CLOSE.

This makes me so uncomfortable and angry at people who are not thinking about boundaries. Even if the author consents to their fanfiction being out there (but why would you?) you can't get the consent from the people it's about. If they discover it on ao3 then that means that they sought it out and that's okay but if they stumble upon it on twitter because it gets basically shoved into their faces? No.

It's not funny and if you're unlucky, they'll not only think it's weird, they might actually hate it and feel gross about people writing about them having kinky sex with y/n or their colleague.

In extreme cases, famous people discovering fanfiction about themselves altered how they behaved in public. In other extreme cases, they took legal actions, because they felt really ridiculed or uncomfortable.

Fanfiction is for fans. Leave it in strict fandom spaces. How often do people need to say that? You can't always avoid the drivers seeing it, but you can at least make sure that it's not jumping at them when they don't want it to jump at them, which will be the case for most if not all of them.

I don't want drivers to get linked to my tumblr without either my or their consent. It's overstepping a line.

there's a huge difference between Knowing About The Existence of Fanfics and being Actively Made Aware of Certain Fics. sure, they know about fanfics. sure, they know they're being shipped. but to have the shippy things/fanfics/fanart actively shown to you is a whole other thing.

'don't write RPF' is a very dumb thing to say. that is not the issue. the issue is that fandom is for the fans and Not for the people it's about. when i'll make the silly little 4433 discord server, that's for the shippers, the FANS. that is Not for max, lewis, or anyone who knows them personally. when we write fics, that's for the fans, Not for the guys in question!!

twitter is indeed too close. tumblr is The Perfect platform for it. i remember when the people from Watcher Entertainment announced they'd make a tumblr blog and sooo many fans were like Alarm Alarm Must Change My Main Blog So They'll Never Find Out!

i've heard charles is notoriously known for looking up his own name so for the love of god don't post shippy things with his name on twitter.

and also a huge fucking annoyance of mine is that the official accs (red bull, f1, mclaren, whatever) have started using shipnames. don't. that's not for you.

100% agreed w the difference between 'stumbling upon ao3' and 'getting a tweet sent to you with your name'. also a PSA to all RPF authors: if twitter accs ever ask if they can rec your fic on twitter, be flattered and say no. that is not the place for us to be.

i don't think that the drivers will actively read what it's all about, i think they'll see a link and go oh No Nope I am Leaving. years of PR training must've also taught them what to stay away from. but this is the same w people in Max Fewtrell's chat telling him to go to ao3 & wattpad. i was fuming. you Do Not Do That. (sure i wrote a fic about it but that's beside the point).

yeah so i wouldn't worry too much about the extreme cases. this isn't septiplier. the most important difference being: these drivers barely handle their own social media anyway. they're incredibly well managed. this doesn't mean we can do whatever, but it does mean that the chances of something bad happening are smaller i'd reckon.

recently made this metaphor which may be a bit tough to convey in words but: the drivers, the sport, the factual things are like a planet, and fandom is the moon. the moon is for us fans to gather and circle around the planet and occasionally visit and say hi. but to never ever get the drivers with us to the moon. they don't belong there. if one driver gets to the moon, the moon will get closer to the planet and before we know it, the moon is clashing with the planet and nothing's left of either of the two anymore.

drivers knowing about the existence of fanfics as a term is fine. drivers knowing about certain fics is not. drivers knowing about your tumblr is not. fandom for the fans. not for them. don't make those two world collide.

[inconsistentwriting]

Painkiller

Pairing: Leon x GN Reader

It wasn’t your first sleepless night. At this point you might wait for the sun to rise on you. It’s better than tossing and turning around in bed. 04:57. The clock marked the time and you realized it, it was the third time this week. You had to depart on a mission tomorrow, Spain awaited you and your partner. Who might be the unlucky bastard that got himself tied to you? You tried asking around before, but no one seemed interested in telling you. The poor soul seemed like a ghost story among the other agents, much like yourself. Yet, you wouldn’t wish anyone the pain of dealing with a demanding mission next to someone like you.

-”No one deserves to be stuck with an asshole like me. Though thinking about it, if he was as feared as he appeared, maybe he is just as bad as me.”

You talked into nothing, as if expecting an answer. The HQ was silent. Mostly everyone was asleep. You felt jealous. Insomnia wasn’t new for you, you have dealt with it all your life. Yet, before the outbreak, six years ago, you had a better way of coping. You look back into those days with a sense of nostalgia. You look back to your days as a singer. The bar you worked at was always so full of people. They used to cheer your name and love your performances. You knew some of the regulars by name and even became friends with a couple of them. Looking back you realize, most of them are dead, aren’t they? You’ll never forget, nor forgive what happened in the last days of September.

-”What am I even doing? Playing babysitter to the president’s daughter? What kind of idiot am I? I didn’t sign up to be a playmate, I signed up to make the people responsible for what happened in Raccoon City pay. Such a good fucking agent I am.”

You thought of getting a drink, but alcohol never made you feel better. Well, if insomnia was going to act as a bitch, you might as well make yourself some coffee. After all, a long day awaited you. You picked up your headphones. You decided to try using some music, it used to soothe you back then. Maybe old habits die hard. You didn’t know what else to try. As you walked into the kitchen of the base you discovered somebody already had beat you with the coffee machine. You looked at the pot and decided to serve yourself some of the drink. As you were filling your mug you heard a deep voice calling from behind you. 

-”That was my coffee, gorgeous.”

Great. The only other person awake and you had to run into him. You turned around, ready to apologize but you got cut short at the sight of the man resting on the doorframe.

-”Leon? Is that you?”

-”In the flesh. Early morning for you, partner?”

-”Partner? Oh god, don’t tell me you are the person I got paired up to go to Spain with.”

-”Sharp as ever. It’s been a really long time, hasn’t it?”

-”Hell yeah it was. Last time I saw you was like, six months ago, at that one party.”

-”Right. You almost gave a performance that night, right?”

-”That was the alcohol speaking, I told you I don’t sing no more.”

-”A shame I never got to see you on stage. I wish I had moved into the city a couple of days before it all blew to hell.”

-”I know.”

Talking with Leon was easy, and at the same time, it was extremely difficult. You two had been friends since you met, during the outbreak. Leon and you kept each other alive and built a strong bond. Even so, he was very against the idea of you joining the life of a special agent. Something about it being too dangerous, like you didn’t survive Raccoon City just like he did. After all the training he subsided a little. It wasn’t that surprising since you were the only person in your camp able to beat Major Krauser in hand-to-hand combat. Still, the overprotective bone in his body hadn’t quite left him.

-”Why are you awake? And before you say anything, I just arrived at the base, that’s why I am not sleeping.”

-”Just… Insomnia is being an ass again. And I don’t have the healthy mechanisms I used to have. It’s been a pretty fucked up week. I just hope Spain has a different thing planned for me.”

 -"I understand. Sleep is a privilege I can't always afford either. Are you going to be okay though? I don't doubt your capability but if insomnia is kicking your ass you should take some vacations."

-"People like us don't get vacations, Leon. Besides, I'm okay. I'll probably get some rest on the plane."

-"Whatever you say. But if you start acting all zombie like I'm sending you back home."

-"If I started acting all zombie like you'd have to shoot me. After what happened back then I wouldn't risk it."

-"Don't even joke about that. I'm sure if you became a zombie you would be one of those really hard to kill assholes."

-"So… Just myself but the difference is I'm infected?"

-"Haha, pretty much."

The air felt lighter. His laugh did such a good job at keeping you grounded. What was it about him that brought only the good memories, as if you didn't meet each other during the most traumatic experience ever. You hated it, but you loved it so much. 

-”You always have the weirdest of ways to make me feel better, you know that? I can be having a horrible sleepless night and then you just come in and tell me what type of zombie I’d be and suddenly I don’t feel that bad anymore. Talk about a mystery painkiller.”

-”Pretty sure you are the only person in the base that feels that way.”

-”Better. I wouldn’t want other people taking up the time of my painkiller.”

-”Didn’t peg you for the jealous type.”

-”I’m not. I just haven’t seen you in around half a year. It’s been some hard nights without you to bother.”

-”Alright partner, I’ll be sure to not disappear for this long anymore.”

-”Please do. Ibuprofen just doesn’t feel the same.

We kept talking for the rest of our time before taking our plane. Though, it didn’t feel like we were talking about my insomnia anymore.

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

Just wanted to ask about your talentswap pics for Nagito and Chiaki. Does the Tragedy still happen in it, and if so does either or both of them become part of Ultimate Despair? Also if its only one of them, would Chiaki still die or would it be Nagito in her place. And lastly how are their relationships with their classmates altered in the AU?

I honestly didn’t think anyone was gonna remember my talentswap au much less ask about it in 2023 you have no clue how excited I am to write this lololol

I also wrote a little too much so I’m adding a read more because this got quite lengthy

Okay admittedly though, I didn’t think too too deeply into this au so some of what you asked is what I’m speculating could potentially happen probably.

The tragedy: Does in fact happen ✅ though not in the same way it went down in the games/anime

I’m not sure who will be the Ultimate Despair seeing as what really spurred Junko into becoming who she is was her ultimate analysis talent that basically made everyday life a general bore to her who can quite literally predict 99% of outcomes accurately. The only real excitement she got was when chaos struck and caused disorder in the usual schematics. She learned to thrive in not only her own perpetual despair of boredom but also in the despair in others—becoming the Ultimate Despair we know today. On top of which it’s because of this talent she was able to pull off the tragedy (and most of her schemes) to begin with so if I swap everyone in this au that would include her too. Not sure what unlucky soul would wind up with the Ultimate Analyst talent, but much like how Nagito’s talent greatly impacts the character’s personality and entire backstory, so too would this one. 

What I do know is that Junko would most likely NOT be the Ultimate Despair in this au. Though, that being said, she won’t be an entirely nice person either. I do believe that Junko has a personality type that leans more towards the mean side regardless. Her obsession with despair just made it extreme. (Although if Ryouko is anything to go by, perhaps she is a relatively nice person. ‘Course it’s hard to judge considering that Ryouko forgets everyone within 24 hours and so her relationship with others makes it hard to establish how Junko would treat them in the long term).

Something to note though is just because someone gets the analyst talent doesn’t mean they’re guaranteed to be Ultimate Despair. After all, everyone’s getting swapped and maybe a character winding up with a wildly different talent impacts them enough to take up that title instead. Which is why I say the tragedy will most likely NOT go down the same way Junko orchestrated it. Which brings me to my next point:

Chiaki does not get sacrificed. For a couple of reasons: she’s not the class’ beacon of hope as her lucky talent causes Chiaki to become closed off in order to keep everyone in a far enough distance from her so they don’t get hurt. As such she’s more like the class cryptid at best. She’s still kind and values life, and most of her classmate see her like an aloof stray cat they’d like to befriend someday but runs away whenever you get close, but the bad luck she’s experienced has left her rather pessimistic and anxious. Also, since the Ultimate Despair isn’t Junko and might do things differently, not sure how many (if any) class 77 students are going to be sacrificed in the way Chiaki was.

Regardless, SHSL Gamer Nagito certainly wouldn’t be sacrificed seeing as he uh…doesn’t have the best reputation among his classmates. His woefully pitiful social skills, interest in concerning hobbies (*cough*bomb making/playing with literal fire*cough*), and romanticizing of people’s struggles (because he still loves hope in the form of how greatly it shines at the end of a storyline—and the harder the level=the more struggle one faces, the more satisfying and brighter that ending will be), doesn’t lend itself well to making friends irl. As such he wouldn’t be their beacon of hope. Just the creepy gamer guy.

More specifically he’s a rich kid who hasn’t struggled much in life besides his (unintentional) self-imposed isolation from others to focus exclusively on his games that crippled his social skills. As such, Nagito isn’t as humble nor as self-depreciating as OG Nagito is. You probably won’t like him as much as the original because of it. Yet, he’s still just as manipulative—if not more, to get what he wants, and for all his lack of social skills, he does have a way with words when he’s trying to give a “pep talk” to another player—I mean person—to keep them from quitting (if he finds the effort worth making/their storyline interesting enough). He’s grown a little tired of playing games alone (read: lonely and bored).

On the tangent of gamer Nagito though, he really would lend himself well to being a mastermind and perhaps, maybe to some capacity he is one. Or maybe even THE one. One of the ones anyway. Wouldn’t it be fun to see the world plunge into what resembles an apocalyptic survival game and seeing everyone deal with the most unimaginable struggle to date and watching their storylines play out? See who persevered? See whose hope was too weak and died like the disappointing npcs they are? But wouldn’t it be even more fun to be among them, to be player and participant?

Which is why, I feel like Nagito played a great part in the tragedy in that he helped make it happen. Though, I don’t believe he was the only mastermind. This was a team effort. Nagito ISN’T the Ultimate Despair after all. Just their co-mastermind. Because he would really like an immersive survival game experience where stakes are high and there’s much to lose. I really wouldn’t put it above him to request to be turned into a remnant too. After all, he has more fun playing the game than making it—it wouldn’t be fair if he started off with an advantage while everyone else already had the disadvantage of their morals being corrupted right? Course Nagito already had loose morals as is so how effective his remnant transformation is can be questioned. How much is he affected and how much is he playing the part for the sake of the game? Who knows~ A good player doesn’t reveal his skill set right off the bat y’know.

Chiaki, meanwhile, will potentially become a remnant as well. I say potentially because I feel she’d be a sort of in-between the way Original Nagito was. Not fully despair fueled as her other classmates, but also not entirely trustworthy either. This is due to her constant living with despair due to her luck with a combination of her innate kindness that fend off some of the effects of remnant-fication. As a remnant, she goes back and forth between wanting to cause despair and wanting to help her classmates (and the world) get better. In a way it sort of makes her one of the more unstable remnants, in that you don’t know when she’s here to genuinely help and when she might do something in a wave of despair. It’s like a coin toss and you gotta hope you’re lucky and get her in one of her helpful moods.

This has gotten long enough but dang this au really does bring me lots of joy to explore. If I had more time on my hands I would get into other characters and what their swaps are and how that’s changed their backstory but for now take this instead.

[timeoverload]

I'm not really having a good day. I spent a lot of it getting lost in my head and thinking about stuff too much. I spent my free time reading about relationships because I don't have anyone I can go to for advice and I have never been in this situation before. The truth hurts and I feel foolish. I don't really want to talk about it at the moment because I don't want anyone to think I'm being annoying or nagging. I just know something is wrong and I'm not ok. Hopefully I will find the words to describe how I'm feeling and what is bothering me without sounding like an asshole. I hope that what I read isn't true and I'm just blowing things out of proportion. I don't want to believe it. I am not trying to worry anyone, I am just concerned about the future.

I also still don't know if I am going to make it to my appointment on the 12th. I don't know if you even care. If I do end up going, it will probably be my last appointment for several months. I don't want to interfere with your summer plans either because I'm sure you already have vacations booked for yourself since I know you do that every year. Unfortunately I can't really afford to keep coming to see you every month. I'm sorry I'm poor.

I'm also pissed that I didn't get a raise this year because I got a letter stating that they did a compensation study and my wage is appropriate based on my years of experience and the current market. I can't even afford my own place so I think it's bullshit. This is the first year I haven't gotten a pay increase. I can't find a job that I am qualified for that will pay me more than I make now.

It is probably going to cost at least $500 to get my car running. I need to pay my bills because I don't want to get sued again. I am going to try to get my neck x-ray on Friday too because I was laying in bed last night using my phone and my arms were tingly and kept going numb. It hurts a lot right now. I wish things would stop getting worse. I am starting to think someone put a curse on me or something because I am incredibly unlucky. Maybe something good will happen to me someday.

I'm extremely stressed but I think I'm going to try to enjoy my night anyway. I am going to bed early. I don't know how much I will be on tumblr this week. I'm not feeling very talkative. I think I need to focus on taking care of myself and making myself happy.

I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. 💖💖💖

[wolffoxnation2]

Wine Child Chp 2

Percy: I don't go on a picnic.

I figured after fighting gods, monsters and titans since I was twelve and fighting in a war, the fates would let me chill out and have a semi-ordinary life for a while. I personally think I deserve some semblance of a vacation.

Unfortunately, the fates seem to disagree with that.

So here I am, instead of being on my way to go out on a nice romantic picnic with my girlfriend, Annabeth (gods, I love saying that); I'm at the archery range staring at Chiron having a casual conversation with the goddess of youth, Hebe about how our camp director, and the god of wine, Mr D ticked her off.

Did I mention that she's holding a very alive-looking, violently squirming gym bag?

"Well, it's a funny story, really." She said, which meant in god language: It was very much not funny, but you better laugh or I vaporize you. "Dio had said some extremely offensive words to me about youth, and I simply couldn't let that slide. So, I decided to teach him a lesson about the value of youth."

She twirled the gym bag in her hand as she talked, pulling it up by the straps and tipping it upside down like a very angry yoyo.

Whatever was in the bag really didn't like that, which to be fair, I'd be pretty cranky if some goddess shoved me in a gym bag and then started playing with the bag like a yoyo.

"What I didn't account for was how whiney he was. So then I thought, hmm, where was the best place where he could learn to appreciate youth? Nowhere else but summer camp!" 

The bag, like me, did not like that idea and started to squirm more violently. I shifted my weight uneasily, my hand instinctively reaching for Riptide. I have a feeling one way or another, that bag was gonna be opened.

I glanced at Annabeth, who also was staring at the bag with piercing grey eyes like she was trying to see through it. Is X-ray vision an Athena power?

Lucky — rather unlucky — for us we didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Welp, I must love you and leave you, demigods!" Hebe said, unzipping the bag and disappearing laughing.

As soon as the bag unzipped, I uncapped Riptide, ready to fight whatever cranky monster tumbled out of it.

Yeah, that did not happen.

Instead of a cranky, snarling monster, a lump of curly, black, untamed hair fell out of the bag and before anyone could react, flung itself at the closest person.

Which happened to be me. Because it's always me. I swear I have a giant sign only visible to monsters and gods that says:

Please attack Percy. We don't like his face.

"No more monsters!" It shrieked, trying to impale me with a sword that was way too big for it. Which, first of all, rude. You're already shrieking and trying to impale me with a sword; you don't need to insult my appearance as well.

I sidestepped out of its way, causing it to stumble as it tried to regain its balance. I had a good look at it now.

It wasn't an it at all.

It was a kid, a little girl that looked no older than 8. She had weirdly familiar purple eyes that looked like they saw something horrifying. The sword she was holding was far too big for her, and she stumbled as she waved the sword at the crowd wildly.

"Get away!" She screamed, stumbling as she swung her sword at an Ares kid who dared get too close. "No more!".

She looked barely 8 years old and downright terrified, and the Ares kids trying to surround her and take the sword weren't helping. In fact, they were making it a lot worse.

Then something worse happened.

The girl caught sight of something, "you!" she yelled, pointing at me before charging. Abandoning her sword on the grass to...run faster. Oh great.

"Hey!" I put my hands up in surrender, "I'm not gonna hurt you!" 

She either didn't hear me or just ignored me and continued charging. "Hey!" I said again, taking a step back as she got in kicking distance....for her to kick me, not the other way around, I'm not kicking the little girl.

Surprisingly, it turned out she wasn't going for me.

I stumbled as she shoved past me with too much strength a child her age should have. 

She headed straight for Will Solace, a son of Apollo and before any of us could react, she delivered a swift kick to his crotch, causing him to double over in pain.

Every guy in the camp simultaneously winced, and there was a chorus of oohs and ouches.

Even as Will doubled over in pain on the floor, the girl wasn't finished. She yelled extremely colourful Greek insults and accusations that didn't make much sense to me.

"You were supposed to protect us! You were supposed to care!" She screamed, pummeling him with her tiny fists.

"Woah! Hey! Calm down!" I yelled, rushing over to pull her off him. I tried my best to hold her back, but it was like trying to wrangle a wildcat. She continued to struggle against me, her eyes blazing with fury as she yelled at Will. 

"You! Kourotrophos! You should have protected us! You should have protected me from her! I prayed for you!" 

I don't know what a Kourotrophos is, but she said it with so much venom I almost expected her to start spitting acid at him. She also put emphasis on her, like it was the worst word she could think of. Which, from the kind of swears she was throwing at him, would have to be horrible.

And what did she mean that she prayed for Will? What did she pray for: 

Dear god of crotch kicking, please guide my foot and make Will Solace wish he was never born.

"Let me go!" she shrieked, clawing at my arms furiously as she tried to escape. Will soon recovered and scrambled away into the crowd.

"No, we're not monsters. We're—ow!" Ever been bitten by a demigod? It freaking hurts, and from the feel of it on my arm; this one had sharp teeth.

Annabeth rushed over, her expression unreadable. "Let him go, Percy!" she said firmly.

Now, if anyone else told me to release the feral screaming, biting, scratching child into a crowd of people after she has already injured one. I would be seriously questioning their mental state. 

But this was Annabeth. And when Annabeth tells you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. She probably had a plan, and if she didn't?

Well, the situation would have been hopeless anyway, and at that point, any idea would have been helpful.

So, I reluctantly put the child down.

She didn't attack, probably all tuckered out from using my arm as a scratching post and a chew toy. Instead, she stumbled, shivering slightly. Annabeth kneeled to her level. Which I personally would not be doing; that kid looked like she'd go for the eyes.

"Monsters!" the kid wailed.

"No." Annabeth promised, using her gentle 'I am completely harmless, and you can trust me' voice. That is usually reserved for young campers and Hades' dog Cerberus that one time. It was always weird hearing Annabeth change so quickly. "It's all right. We're not going to hurt you."

The kid trembled, all the wildness draining out of her. She had dark eyebags under her eyes, a deep cut on her cheek that looked slightly infected, and her limbs were stick thin like she hadn't eaten in days. How the Hades she had enough energy to swing that sword, attack Will, and use me as a chew toy and scratching post, all while screaming her lungs off, was beyond me.

"Monsters?" she whispered, her eyes swivelling to look at the still-growing crowd around us.

I could understand her hesitation. The Mist could even fool demigods like us and make a Chimera look like a Chihuahua (not that Chihuahuas weren't already little monsters), and the fact that she'd been shoved into a bag and then cornered by Ares kids probably wasn't giving her a good first impression of us.

"No, not monsters," Annabeth said, "We're...." She hesitated. The kid might not know what demigods even were. That happened alot. Kids these days clearly never watched Hercules (the Disney show, not the guy). "...Well, it's hard to explain, but we fight monsters just like you."

"You're like me?" The kid asked, still suspicious, but she sounded slightly hopeful, too.

"Yes," I promised, and the kid scowled at me with her big purple eyes. I was slightly afraid she was going to kick me, too. There was something familiar about her scowl, though, like I've seen it before. "Why were you in Hebe's bag?"

Her scowl deepened, but thankfully she didn't kick me, "I don't know. I just woke up."

Maybe that's why she was so murderous; I'd be cranky, too if someone woke me up from a nap by shoving me in a bag and dumping me in a Summer Camp without a word.

In fact, that kinda sounds exactly like something that would happen to me.

"I'm Annabeth, and that's Percy," Annabeth said, "You can trust us. We have a friend, Chiron. He can help you."

Speaking of Chiron, where did he go? He was there when Hebe opened the bag. Did he just go to the Big House to play Pinochle with Mr D and leave us to deal with little Miss Crotch-Kicker on our own?

The little girl nodded, "Okay...I'll go with you."

"So..." I whispered to Annabeth, "Any clue who little Miss Crotch-Kicker is?" I figured if anyone knew who this kid was, it was Annabeth. 

"I have a vague idea, but I need proof first." She replied cryptically

"Wanna share with the class your idea?"

"Not yet."

"You know I can hear you, right?" The kid crossed her arms and scowled at us, keeping her distance at the back of the group. She had been silent the entire walk.

Annabeth and I sheepishly apologized. The last thing we needed was to upset the already untrusting and wild kid.

We walked in awkward silence until we got to the Big House.

Chiron was alone on the porch. Mr D was nowhere in sight. Which was good. Because if I have to listen to his sarcasm while dealing with this situation. I'm setting the kid on him.

The little girl stopped the moment she saw Chiron.

"Kentauros! Monster!" She shrieked, and I was afraid that was her form of a battle cry.

Chiron smiled at her kindly, "Yes, Dionysus, I am a kentauroi, but you have nothing to worry about. I'm not like my brothers."

"What—?" 

Then I saw how tense the kid suddenly got.

'Dio said some extremely offensive words about youth, so I decided to teach him a lesson about the value of youth,' Hebe had said.

That's where I recognized the kid's scowl. That's why her purple eyes were so familiar. That's why Mr D wasn't with Chiron.

This kid was the Wine Dude himself.

"H..how do you know my name?" Dionysus said, already on guard. Which was fair, she—or he? Why was Mr D a girl?

Chiron just smiled at them, "We have a lot to talk about inside." Then he turned to us, "Percy, Annabeth, will you please alert the rest of the head counsellours and tell them there is to be a very important meeting."

Annabeth nodded, frowning, "Come on, Percy."

I sighed and followed her.

I guess we arent going on our picnic any time soon.

-----

Chapter one on tumblr

And thats the last chapter of this I will be posting here. When i post the third chapter it will be going on Ao3

[cartoonsnuffilm]

extreme cw csa

Having the most painful "no one understands me pain" that is exacerbated by the fact I am twenty years old and thought everyone would understand me by now. But I don't want to condense myself into something that can be understood if it isn't even me. I think I have a habit of self isolation because the possibility of them not getting me scares me but in turn I go crazy because i begin to only look inward. I want to look outward but everything around me aside for my partner is death and reminders of one of the worst things that ever happened to me. and I just have to be nonchalont about it. I'm putting up a front! because i want things to be normal, in the real world. My mom molested me and now i live with her because i don't want to be homeless, but she has cancer again and is going through her rounds of chemotherapy, and i hate myself, i hate this all. I want a mom. I'm sure she didn't know what she was doing to me when she did it to me but she did it so much and oversteps my boundaries even as an adult. she has enough normal and kind moments that i just want to focus on that but i don't think i have it in me. She may be dying, she thinks so. All i can do is compartmentalize myself into bits. bits and pieces and past so many layers of dissociation that i don't care if i don't have a grip on who i am. I wish i could at least make art about this instead of whine, but my brain is fried and cornflakes comic made people hate me enough to get involved in a real crime that happened to mein 2020 and lie. people have tried to ingrain it into my head that i'm a monster, a pedophile, an abuser and ECT. What i don't get or find fair:why did I have to experience the things I experienced as well as get accused and treated as the people who did these things to me while the real perpetrators never even get to know how i feel. i never will tell my mom that what she did to me fucked me up, i never bring it up around her, because i just want a normal mom. i want to have a normal mom while she's still here, and maybe when she's gone i can fully unpack all my everything, but i don't want her to die. i wish i wasn't so unlucky. Or atleast i wish i knew what made me a target for so many people. I wish everything was fine and i wasn't compelled to write this all out but i don't want it in my head anymore. i might even write more because there's so much, it feels better to write it out, getting it out of my system. sometimes i feel like people will understand me if i do this, if i share enough of the bullshit where people can feel what i feel, not that i wan't them to, but i'm lonely here on misery island and the only boat back to happyland just exploded. i feel better after writing this.

[soullikethesea]

I'm ashamed about lots of things, but currently a big thing is that I apparently still struggle with seeing people in the array of shades of gray that they are. I mean, fully appreciating how complex humans are.

And not falling into the trap of mistrust, because I know that *hurts* people. My lack of "basic trust" hurts people.

This is about pretty much all relationships I've ever had, but especially my parents, Bf, and my previous T.

Obviously I've cared very deeply about all of them. I think they also cared deeply for me. There have been good times, there have been less good times.

And it fucking sucks how hard it is to keep that in mind all at the same time. It's not that I go from hate to love, it's that I go from seeing a bit of context to seeing none. It's that the good makes me doubt the bad, and vice versa.

It makes me feel like I am very damaged, and I guess I probably am. I'm damaged because I can get into that place of mistrust and discard people. Look, I generally am a kind person and I do not literally discard people. But sometimes it feels that way when I try to find words for things that happened. It's like I can't keep the full context in mind or else it hurts way too much.

For example, I love my mum. I really love her. And she's fought for me and I have a feeling that at the end of the day, she'll still be there for me in some way. But also she's done things that have been very painful for me and still are - while she *has* been trying her best.

With Bf, I feel similarly. I know he loved me and tried to do everything in his power to help me. And yet he hurt me so freaking much. Both while he was trying to help, and when he hurt me on purpose, I still believe he was doing the best he could at that time. Same with my dad.

And with my previous T, it's also obvious that she cared for me and wanted the best for me. And there really is so much she did right. So am I just exaggerating the things that hurt me? Am I just framing it in some way that makes it seem like bad things have happened to me?

I keep getting so many thoughts about how I just need to grow up, suck it up, and do better. I think there is truth in that. To some extent the things I've found traumatizing have been wake-up calls for how I needed to grow. I know my parents always said I'm so spoiled and entitled, etc., and I think that I am. It's hard to do something about it when you're a child, but I'm not a child anymore. It's just so weird to be spoiled and entitled AND neglected and over-controlled at the same time.

It's like how I think back to those times when I felt happy and in those moments I had zero access to ever feeling any different. That's what I needed to have blissful short moments of connection. Like those nights when my mum pet me on my back or belly. I was convinced that I was a cat and that was the Me that could take in something like that.

During the yoga class I heard other parts being disgusted by it. How could I put myself in harm's way like that? How could I go so close to the scary dragons?

I guess that's how I still feel about relationships. I know I need them, but when I start to think about the fact that they come with some level of hurt, instead of thinking that's okay, I get suicidal thoughts instead. I know there are parts of me that would rather die than live in such an imperfect world. And they're very extreme in that and part of what makes me feel like a spoiled brat.

It's so hard to fathom that I've been lucky in some regards and unlucky in others. That people who love you can break you down, with or without intending to. And that I wasn't equipped with the skills to handle that, and still largely am not able to. The large scary dragons are not large scary dragons in my life anymore, they're smaller, slightly less scary dragons now. But still scary!

[missbaphomet]

I think I need to take a moment to stress just how puritan and tyrannical laws are in my state regarding sex shops. This just happened and I am frankly baffled.

There was a woman that came in looking for a dozen or so small gifts under $20 each for a dirty Santa party. She asked me to simply find things that fit that price range. I go around the store and collect a few odds and ends. I'm a people pleaser by nature, and I was really happy to bring over some funny bits and bobs. These ladies thanked me profusely for my help. I rang them up and they left. Typical retail, right?

The not-quite-a-manager-but-still-my-superior pulled me aside and informed me she was sending me home early because of the incident described. She explained that because of the severity of the red tape surrounding the legality of the business, I am technically not allowed to discuss products or answer questions at all. More or less, until I have been employed there long enough to be considered "trained", all I can really do is man the register, stock shelves, and other misc tasks like mop or take out trash or break down boxes. Even something as simple as finding something in the store that costs $20 or less can get everyone in some serious hot water. I very well could lose my job over what would be considered excellent customer service in literally any other retail position.

I genuinely don't know if I will be fired over this. My boss is really cool, but historically I'm really unlucky and I seem to be on a losing streak right now. I cannot stress how much I love this job. I do very genuinely enjoy my work and I work my fucking ass off. I spent three fucking hours today doing nothing but putting price tags on lingerie and breaking down boxes. I regularly volunteer for the dirty work no one wants like sweeping and mopping and pouring bleach on dried cum stains on the bathroom floor. This is a labor of love, and something I am extremely passionate about.

But I could lose it all just because I did something I wasn't approved to do, like locate gag gifts under $20. I'm fucking baffled.