#if the team is playing badly I can just skip games

[coffee-at-annies]

Maybe it's just me about sports in general, but it feels like fans are quicker to gloat about the players even though they've been contributing in other ways (on ice and off ice) when a team is struggling. Scenario: Team A is on a 10 game winning streak in November, all is good from the outside, every player is praised. But come February they hit a massive losing streak and the wheels come off: depth players are scapegoated despite all their efforts, players shuffled around the lineup with some not fitting in their new lines, chemistry is off and every player is getting blamed even unfairly. Then comes along the hindsight takes of should've kept this, should've traded for that when nobody has no clue whether the team would've been better off had they done that.

And while we're at it, is it unpopular to feel bad for BJC? Ever since Hextall protected him over Canner + signed his extension, the fanbase at least from Pens Twitter quickly soured on him when he couldn't sustain his hot start. A one year extension would've been more reasonable instead of two, I get why they wanted him exposed to Seattle instead, he's played decently but he's getting a lot of flak whenever the Pens are slumping. To quote a random post online I came across from a fan of another struggling team, it's easy to say that a team needs to replace a depth player (esp when he is an older player playing beyond his actual capabilities as a fill in for injury) even though he's not been bad, but fans wouldn't say that if the team is on a roll. Y*he tweeted out his pre-extension vs. since then which is why I shared this.

Hey sorry its been over a week. My brain was pretty broken when you sent this and then I forgot it existed because ADHD is like that sometimes. I’m gonna do my best to address some of what you said and my opinion on it.

it feels like fans are quicker to gloat about the players even though they've been contributing in other ways (on ice and off ice) when a team is struggling

I’m a little unsure what you mean here. Gloat is the word that’s throwing me off. I think you’re talking about fans talking shit, but usually when I think of the word gloat, I think of I told you sos or I was rights and I don’t really associate talking shit with gloating unless you’re saying I called it, I knew they’d be terrible. Currently Ren and I are gloating because we were right that the pens would figure their shit out and all we needed to fix the PK was for Teddy to come back from war. I’d consider shit talking a player gloating if you’re gloating about being right about someone sucking.

Sports fans are fickle. They’re quick to panic and quick to react. They’re quick to bet and quick to fold. A cold streak gets people scared really easily. A hot streak gets people euphoric in a way that makes it feel like we can never lose again. Hockey is an inherently silly sport. Ice is slippy. Sometimes bounces just don’t go your way. The Devils had a franchise record win-streak snap on Wednesday because of 3 no-goal reviews. Matt Murray technically got a shutout despite the puck hitting the back of the net. Shit happens. You gotta roll with the punches.

As for the scenario you outlined, that was basically the pens last season. We can what if and speculate but that’s all it is, speculation. The thing is you can’t stop fans from speculating. What ifs are a part of sports. So much of sports is up to chance that you can’t predict everything so well what if this happened or this happened or this happened. Its a talking point. Sports has a lot of those.

A thing I think that’s worth mentioning is that fans aren’t the only ones doing these sorts of talking. Reporters are people to and they’re some of the people driving the narratives. Of course they are, its their jobs. They’re paid by the word and by the click. The reason everyone was talking about Geno’s contract woes after R*ssi broke the story is because it was easy money in a slow offseason news cycle.

These people are paid to tell us stories, but that doesn’t mean they’re unbiased. I personally really like JFresh on twitter because he’s very up front about how ZAR is his emotional support defensive analytics darling. R*ssi has always been really up Geno’s ass and Y*he has always been weirdly hard. A lot of reporters like to be hard on players and call it tough love or objectivity and I’m like nah. I’d honestly prefer a reporter who tells you their favorite player than pretend they don’t have one. They’re fans with opinions too and if they view someone negatively then it will embolden some fans who are fickle.

is it unpopular to feel bad for BJC

I’d say no but I already talked about him vaguely here. Look you can’t make people say nice things about a player they’ve decided to hate. Look at how pensblr feels about archibald and desm*th. Pens twitter has decided to hate BJC and there’s not much you can do about that. You can’t make a worstie into a bestie even with the best playing. Plenty of ppl still don’t like Archibald despite the fact that he’s playing pretty good for us.

it's easy to say that a team needs to replace a depth player... even though he's not been bad, but fans wouldn't say that if the team is on a roll

Fans absolutely can and will. We’ve been on winning streaks and I’ve still criticized desm*th. He can get a shutout and I’d still think he’s a streaky goalie and we need someone with more consistency. People love to assign blame and find fault. The team being on a roll will quiet some of the opportunistic haters but it won’t quiet everyone and people will always talk shit. There’s always something someone could do better and those sorts of people will find it.

The best you can do is curate your online experience and block people. You are not obligated to give everyone the time of day or every thought the same amount of weight. If all they post is negativity about BJC and they don’t have a nice thing to say then what is the point of continuing to listen to them? They obviously aren’t going to change their mind so why keep giving them space and a platform. Its not even worth it to argue because arguing online is using your own platform to give them more visibility. This is why people who send Anon hate won’t block you first, they want you to platform their assholishness and validate them by responding publicly, by getting upset.

If this is making you mad, then take steps to remove yourself from it. I’ve got ppl in hockeyblr blocked because they wouldn’t have a nice word to say about the pens if it killed them. I’ve got ppl in pensblr blocked because I didn’t like how they talked about players and fellow fans and I didn’t want to see it on my dash. Curation of online experiences is hard, but if something is making you mad or angry, you can take steps to distance yourself from it. Its kind of the same principle as don’t like, don’t read, but for the shit people say online.

[barcaatthemoon]

she keeps me warm || lia walti x reader ||

lia takes you home after you make your triumphant return to the lionesses.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

as a proud lioness, you had a tough year. it was like every single time that you played, the team lost. you were supposed to be their miracle player, the one who came back from a career ending injury. instead, you felt like you came back only to play like absolute shit. and still, sarina and your teammates kept pulling you back in every single time you tried to turn away.

"gold looks good on you," lucy said as the two of you stood in line next to each other. you found yourself in between lucy and leah in the lineup. they were both a great comfort for you to be around. lucy had always been the player you'd looked up to coming up in camp. leah was one of your best friends, a presence that you had felt from the beginning when you were both in the arsenal academy.

"it's been a long time since i've won anything. i don't think i remember," you told her. lucy put her hand on your back and rubbed your shoulders.

"then let's remind you and all of them what they've been missing. maybe you can show off a bit for your little girlfriend," lucy said. you blushed at the idea of lia watching you in the stands. she was with your family, donning one of your club jerseys. you wanted to see her so badly, but she had been adamant that you needed your own space to focus.

you had hoped to see lia from the goal, but it was no use. your eyesight had admittedly been going a bit, so you couldn't see the way you used to. it didn't affect your goalkeeping much, but you were a bit sad about not being able to see lia or your family in the stands. however, you knew that lia's eyes weren't going to be leaving the goal, so you put on the performance of your life.

it was like you took every comment about how you couldn't make it back to your top form as fuel to help prove yourself. the crowd was on the edge of their seats as you took your place back as the commander of england's backline. you had been waiting nearly a year to take your place back, and today, you were certain that they'd mark this the day of your comeback.

"i know how big this is for you, but don't celebrate too hard mate. remember who's up there waiting for you," leah said as she clapped her hands on your shoulders. leah never seemed to be sure where you stood on hugs, so she opted to wait around like she did for keira. you grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms around you.

"we've missed you," lucy told you as she joined in on the hug. you were quickly surrounded by your teammates and being hailed as the hero of the tournament in their eyes. you had only really played the final and a couple of games that the team had lost when you first got back from injury, but they saw the work you put in the improve.

congratulations went around, as did a few drinks, before you went to see lia. she was easy for you to spot in the crowd. your arsenal jersey was a bit loose on her, and she had to be absolutely dying in the heat, but you loved seeing her in your clothes. you felt your heart skip a beat as she turned to you with your nephew in her arms, the toddler clinging to lia just like you did.

"bet you feel like a dunce for being so nervous," your younger brother teased. you tried to reach out and hit him, but your parents quickly put a stop to that.

"not in front of the babies," your mother warned the two of you. both of you looked down at the ground as you mumbled your apologies. "you played lovely today, deary. you've just got to come up home, they're gonna throw a celebration for you at the end of the week at the fish shop."

"i'll be up there mummy," you promised. lia handed your nephew back to your younger brother, the boy whining as you took his spot. you stuck your tongue out at him, laughing as he started huffing and kicking his legs.

"be nice," lia mumbled as she pecked your cheek. "are you going out with the girls tonight?"

"god no, i'm saving my party energy for the fish shop. they get wild there, i'm sure some of the girls will want to come along when i tell them," you told lia. as much as you loved a night out in london, it wasn't the same as bar hopping around in your hometown.

"you can go out. you don't have to stay in because of me," lia said. you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against hers.

"i want to go back home with you. do you know how stupid it feels to be in the city you live in and not be in your own home?" you asked lia. she laughed at the clear look of genuine annoyance on your face. "let me get cleaned up and then take me home?"

"of course, take your time baby. there's no rush, i can go down and congratulate some of our teammates," lia said. you smiled gratefully at her as you raced off to the showers.

…

"i see you redecorated a bit," you said as you pulled lia through your apartment. she hadn't put many things up despite some flowers and mood lighting, well aware that if you did decide that you wanted to bring things to the bedroom, you'd go straight there.

"i also put the nice sheets on the bed," lia told you. you let out a playful gasp, laughing as you picked lia up and carried her over to the bed. lia kept her arms and legs wrapped tight around your body, taking you down to the bed with her.

"whoa!" you exclaimed. lia had rolled you onto your back, pinning you down against the bed beneath her body. you let out a nervous chuckle, something that you always did in this sort of position. lia thought it was adorable that no matter how many times the two of you went to bed together, you always got bashful when she took charge.

"relax, let me take care of you. you've earned yourself quite the reward," lia said. she leaned down and peppered your face in kisses. each of them tickled a little until she reached your mouth. you had been smiling and laughing, and lia took the opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

you moaned into the kiss as lia pressed her leg in between yours. everybody always looked at the two of you and expected for you to be the one to push things. they would have been sorely disappointed to learn how wrong they were. you were loud and demanding on the pitch, so it was nice to let go and listen in the bedroom.

"i am so proud of you," lia muttered in between kisses. you focused more on the vibration of her voice against your skin. she had her hands resting on your sides at the top of your ribcage. your shirt was pushed up, revealing your stomach and a few of the faded marks from the last time you had seen lia.

"i wanted to play good for you," you told her. lia's lips curled into a smile. she pushed your shirt up the rest of the way to reveal that you hadn't put a bra back on. you sat up just enough to pull it over your shoulders and throw it onto the ground away from the bed.

"you've been working so hard. i want you to completely relax for me. just let me know when you've had enough," lia said. she waited with her hands hovering over the waistband of your shorts for you to reply. with your consent, lia began to tug your pants down, pulling your underwear along with them.

lia licked her lips as she saw your body splayed out on the bed. there had been a quickie before lia's team was knocked out of the competition, but you hadn't been with lia in what felt like forever. it wasn't that you were addicted to having sex with lia, but you had allowed yourself to get used to being with her at least a few times a week.

"my gorgeous, gorgeous girl," lia whispered against your skin. you followed the trail of her hands with your eyes, only allowing them to flutter shut when she reached the apex of your thighs. lia had you spread out completely beneath her, open and waiting for her to make a move.

you were wet, something that lia could see before she touched you. the excitement from a good game always got you going like absolutely nothing else. your body was physically on edge from the adrenaline, which made you practically twice as responsive to lia's touch. that was her favorite time to tease you, especially when it came with away games and you were just stuck next to her on the bus for a few hours.

"i can't get enough of you," lia told you. she kept a constant gentle praise as her fingers stroked you. lia worked slowly, building you up until you were practically dripping before she slipped a single finger inside of you. you wanted to scream in frustration, but you trusted whatever lia was planning to do to you.

one finger was added to the slow and shallow thrusts, slowly and gently stretching you. lia began to go a little deeper, curling her fingers just where she knew that you liked it. the penetration was enough to have you rutting your hips as you tried to chase your orgasm. lia let you move around, assuming that you had energy to burn still.

"that's it, let me hear you," lia instructed. she dipped her head down, adding her tongue to the mix. lia knew just how to get you screaming without having to physically exhaust both of you in the process. in lia's mind, your body was easy. she had studied it night after night for months now. she spent every moment that she had with you trying to memorize every little detail about you.

"lia, i want to cum. can i cum, please?" tonight wasn't the kind of night where lia would make you beg, but it didn't feel right not to ask first. lia was always a little sweeter with you whenever you did things like seek her permission out. this was no different, and lia kept you on a steady build before giving you her permission.

"cum for me. i want to see you soak the sheets," lia told you. her words were absolutely filthy compared to the sweet and gentle way that lia handled you. she was with you every step of the way. she helped you through the high and was there to keep you steady when the effects of it started to wear off. "if you'd like to go again, we can. i just need to get some things first."

"no, stay right here. i just want to hold you for a minute," you told her. lia moved up to lay in your arms, but not before she kicked her shorts off. she was left in just her underwear and your jersey, which you would have paid anything to get to see every single night of your life.

"you're staring," lia told you. she had been in your arms for nearly two minutes with you just staring down at her. lia expected you to zone out a bit, but she didn't think you'd be that out of it. "do i need to order food now?"

"only if you can do it from bed, but if you have to get up to do it…" you trailed off as you started to play with your hands. lia grabbed your hands and pulled your attention back up to her. "can you take a picture for me? i think i need a new home screen."

"for your eyes only." lia straddled you and placed your phone in your hand. she positioned herself on top of you, allowing for you to get a much better picture than you had expected. "you can just owe me one until i get a few things."

"deal."

[loupy-mongoose]

*Ahem*

Happy Halloween!! ^w^

Bug Fables.

It's my current favorite video game, and actually, you can thank it for Linden Roots existing~

I'll explain, but in order to do so I have to dive into spoilers for one of my absolute favorite plots for one of my absolute favorite characters, so I need to slap on a;

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING!

In my opinion, this game is best experienced SPOILER FREE, so if you haven't played it and want to some day, I recommend skipping my info dump below. (This info can be acquired before beating the main game though. :>)

You're okay with spoilers? Yes? Okay, carry on.

So.

Those who are familiar with Leif's story will probably see how Bug Fables influenced the creation of Linden Roots.

A long while ago, I mentioned Randy being inspired by my favorite fictional character.

That's Leif.

Leif is a moth who is ancient.

And dead.

Loooooong before the game takes place (I can't find an exact timeframe; it's like a generation or two), Leif went with a team of bugs to explore a cave, but ended up dying in there. In that same cave, a group of scientists later experimented on cordyceps. Now, as soon as they became relevant to the story I was HOOKED.

I learned about cordyceps as a kid, and they scared the crap out of me. But it also was one of those morbidly fascinating things I'd look into once in a while. (Before anyone tells me, yes, I know that's what's in The Last of Us.)

If you don't know, IRL cordyceps basically turn bugs into zombies.

Anyway, the scientists were trying to find a way to create eternal life (what else is new lol), and did this through cordyceps. Which, as one could guess when dealing with zombie fungus, ended up going badly for the scientists.

One of the "failed" experimental fungi was thrown out, and found its way to the deceased Leif, and brought him back to life. It took on his memories, and Leif woke up without knowing what happened, until you dig into his story during the game. So the "Leif" we know in the game isn't truly Leif, but is the fungus living as him.

Now... I'm sure that sounds a bit familiar...

This idea of a character being dead-but-not struck a chord with me. It fascinated me to no end.

But there's more to it.

As one might expect, Leif has some tragedy surrounding him.

While playing the game, you can stumble upon his decedents.

This here is Muze. With a 'z'

This is Leif's great great however-many-greats grand-daughter, who you meet in the game's present day.

When he was alive, he had a wife.

His wife was Muse. With an 's'.

We never get to see what Muse looked like, but he says in-game that Muze is a spitting image of her. Hence why Akoya is dressed as she is in my pic. She's dressed as Muse.

Now, according to the developers, Muse was pregnant when Leif went into the cave where he died.

And he didn't know.

There are several moments in the game that show Leif's potential as a father, but one in particular stood out to me.

(Note for the images; Leif refers to himself as "We/Us".)

Oops, I forgot one. Vi finishes by shouting "I said it's not happening!"

The text in the last shot bounces/wiggles in-game, indicating playfulness or joking.

If you're familiar with Goombario and Goombella in the Paper Mario games, this dialogue is this game's version of that. You can have the main characters give flavor text on any area and most characters in the game. (And I recommend doing it often, as it adds SOOO much to the game! ^v^)

This bit takes place in the first room after Kabbu and Vi meet Leif. And at the end of the room, an event happens to change what's said for the rest of the game. Meaning, the only time you see it is RIGHT after they meet; He was getting playful with these two bugs he'd met only moments ago.

I'm sure it can just be seen as sarcasm, but having found this dialogue after learning about Leif missing out on raising a child, I saw it as a clue that he would've been a great dad. And it shattered me. ;w;

Randy and Akoya are wish-fulfillment. They're my version of Leif and Muse. They're my way of giving Leif and Muse what I'm sad they missed out on, while also keeping some of the angst, lol. Thankfully, they've evolved into their own separate characters that I feel I can be proud of, but Leif's story and tragedy still has a deep, well-protected place in my heart.

Anyway, thanks for checking out my ramble. I accept no blame for any potential spoiler you might've seen against your will. XD

[boltupbitches]

Team Photographer - Justin Herbert

It was the first OTA of the off-season and Justin was excited to start. The idea of seeing his teammates and working with the new staff in the building was something he looked forward to. Change was needed, and he was optimistic about the future for the Chargers.

He wouldn’t lie though - he was also hoping to see the rookie team photographer hired last season. Since the day they met, he couldn’t stop his eyes from always looking for her during practice and games. A few times, he would try to approach her on the sidelines, discrete as he could be, but he never seemed to have an opportunity to talk to her.

The few times at the facility he tried to find her and engage in conversation, but something was always getting in the way of his efforts. More often than not, he was stuck watching her back disappear around corners and down halls as whoever stopped him from talking was chatting away without realizing what Justin was trying to do.

When he walked into the building and said a brief hello, he had to duck his head from the social media team to avoid showing his disappointment. He had hoped Caroline, the photographer, would be there, but she wasn’t.

He sat for a few team meetings, his mind still wondering about Caroline, as he tried to remain as engaged as possible, yet again, his eyes would wander to the door or even the windows outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of his favorite photographer, but no such luck.

Justin just wanted to talk to her alone, without the social media team, staff, and other players around them. He wanted to hear her laugh at one of his lame dad jokes, or ask her about her favorite kind of photography to shoot. He wanted to ask her where she was from, what she liked to do on days off, what her favorite ice cream flavor was, and if she liked going to the movies.

It wouldn’t be until lunchtime, when he was eating in the cafeteria with his teammates, that he finally saw Caroline.

His heart skipped a beat and he was frozen in place as he stared at her. 

She had cut her hair, something he noticed right away. Her locks, once down to the middle of her back, were now shoulder-length. She was wearing a team polo shirt, athletic pants, and sneakers. Her camera bag was tucked to her side like one would with a purse, and she was grabbing a tray in the line.

Most importantly, she was alone.

As Derwin continued telling a joke that made everyone at the table laugh, Caroline looked over at the noise and smiled when she made eye contact with Justin.

He smiled shyly back, his heart pounding in his ears as he felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He was on cloud nine from a simple smile. What was wrong with him?

His eyes watched as she got her food and took a seat by herself, a few tables away. 

He wanted so badly to go over there and eat with her.

Seconds ticked by before Justin finally stood suddenly, causing his teammates to turn to him in confusion. “I.. um… I need to go talk to someone. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” He nervously scooped his tray up and walked quickly over to Caroline’s table, not even caring to see his teammates’ reactions.

“I see you, Herbo!” Derwin called out.

He could have died on the spot when Caroline turned to see the commotion. 

“Hi, um… can I sit with you?” He asked quietly.

“Oh? Uh, yeah. Sure!” Caroline smiled brightly.

Justin sat his tray down and tried to will the blush on his face to calm down. He was for sure red all over. He just knew it.

What he didn’t realize was that Caroline was smiling at him, endeared by his shyness. “So, how has your off-season, been?”

“Good. Played some golf, visited family and friends in Eugene, and did a little traveling.” Justin gulped his water before asking, “What about you?”

“I went on a trip with my mom to Yellowstone and spent some time photographing landscapes,” Caroline answered with a smile.

“Do you enjoy the outdoors?” Justin asked curiously.

“I do! Especially the national parks. I’ve been to Yosemite, Yellowstone, Biscayne, the Grand Canyon, and next on my list is to see Crater Lake.”

“I’ve always wanted to see Crater Lake,” Justin admitted. “Maybe someday.”

They spoke for a while about travel and where they would love to visit someday. Justin mostly listened, enraptured by her words.

“There’s so much of the world and its beauty we don’t get to see when living in the city,” Caroline pondered as she looked outside the window, “I love my job and I’m thankful for what I can do with it, but I am envious of those who can see the world.”

“I know what you mean,” Justin agreed as he stared at her, unable to look away as the light from the sun made her eyes brighter, “There’s so much beauty out there. So much to see.” ‘Like you,’ he thought dreamily.

“Right?” She turned and smiled at him, “So what brought you over to my table today, Mr. Herbert?”

“I um…” He was getting red again, he could feel it, “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to get dinner with me sometime?”

Caroline stared at him in surprise as she blinked a few times while processing what he said, “D-dinner? With me?”

“Yeah, I mean if you’d like to of course. You’re decision.” He couldn’t help but cringe at his word choice. ‘Of course it’s her decision, idiot. Who else is going to decide but her?’

It was Caroline’s turn to be flustered. “Yeah.. Yeah let’s do dinner. I’d like that a lot.” She smiled shyly.

“Ok. Yeah, um, would tomorrow night be too short of a notice?”

“No, that’ll be fine. 7pm?” She suggested.

“Yeah that’s perfect. I’ll pick you up.” He reached for his phone and handed it to her after unlocking it, “Can you put your phone number in for me please?”

“Sure!” Caroline took it and entered her number in. She pressed call and hung up, making sure to save his number in her own phone.

Justin was relieved and excited. She said yes. He couldn’t believe she said yes to a date with him. Was this a dream?

“Maybe you could show me some of your landscape photography?” Justin suggested as he began to get up from his seat. His lunch break was almost over afterall. “I’d love to see them.”

“I’ll bring my camera,” Caroline promised, “See you later, Justin.” She winked.

He nodded and couldn’t hide the cheesy grin on his face as he went to dump his tray. 

He couldn’t hide that same grin on his face as he walked into the fitness center, ignoring the good-natured jabs of his teammates who saw him flirting at the table with the team’s newer photographer. He didn’t care though.

He did it. He asked her out. Holy shit.

Justin couldn’t wait for tomorrow night.

[zriasstuff]

Friends- Blaise Zabini x reader

Fluff drabble, post-break up reconciliation <3

It’s been two weeks since your break up with Blaise already, and honestly when you saw him, you still felt a sting in your heart. It didn’t work out in the end because both of you couldn’t manage to communicate with each other, and as lazy of an excuse it may sound like, it was true. Towards the end of your relationship you barely talked with each other anymore. It was as if you were even less than friends. Perhaps you were never meant to be in a romantic relationship after all because functioning couples would probably try harder to stay together.

But you couldn’t even manage that, instead you grew apart. The only time you’d see each other was class and every time you guys even made remote eye contact, it turned awkward for both of you.

Besides classes quidditch was always and still is a common ground. Blaise was obviously known for being a great beater and you for being a talented chaser, whose role is also substitute seeker. During training you still caught yourself secretly staring at him, but it was all in a harmless manner. Innerly you wish you’d still be friends, after all he was an incredibly caring and sensible person, yet some things just don’t work out, no matter how much you want them to. And neither one of you made the effort to rebuild a friendship. Or rather, you knew that you lacked the courage to take the first step.

Right now you should probably take your mind off of Blaise though and focus on the big game on Saturday against Gryffindor. Draco had gotten himself into the hospital wing due to a stupid leg injury caused by juvenile fighting, so winning the game as seeker should be your primary focus…

*time skip*

“HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THE SNITCH?”

“ARE YOU BLOODY BLIND?!?”

“GREAT, WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA IT WAS TO HAVE YOU PLAYING AS SUBSTITUTE”

Your team-mates were yelling at you from every direction possible. As you already established, some things, as much as you want them to work out, oftentimes just don’t. Sometimes you wondered how it was possible that whenever you wanted something badly, it never seemed to work out in the end.

Feeling tears already forming in your eyes, you can only mutter out a pathetic sorry and run away from everything. It’s incredibly unfair to you. They were acting like you were the entire reason you lost, just because you weren’t completely focused. Even if you didn’t play your best, it wasn’t only your fault, and it’s supposed to be a team effort anyway. Still, no matter what you try to console yourself with, you still feel like crap.

During times like these, funnily enough, Blaise would probably be a great comfort to you, you think to yourself. In those times when you did communicate, Blaise knew how to cheer you up the best. Drowning in your despair, you didn’t even notice how much time had passed until you suddenly heard an all too familiar voice.

“I knew I’d find you here”, the voice echoes down to you.

Your heart stops for a second. Almost electrified. Hurriedly, you wipe away your tears.

“B- Blaise? What are you doing here?”

Hopefully you didn’t sound and look too distraught. Did he follow you?

“Whenever you’re upset, you come to this tree in the forbidden forest”

He sat down next to you, and before you could pull back he embraced you for a hug. Subconsciously your first reaction is to cling onto him. You feel his strong arms wrap around you so lovingly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. All it took was one genuine, caring moment, and most of the awkwardness had faded away. No one in so long has been this familiar and comforting.

“You know, even though we’re not technically on speaking terms, I still care about you right? I just didn’t know if you still wanted to have anything to do with me”

“Of course I do, and thank you”, you sniffle. It was indescribably how much weight lifted off your shoulders in that exact moment.

“So, wanna start over as friends?”

“I would love that”

Apparently, a crappy quidditch game was all it took for one of the best people you know to be in your life again. And that “friends” term seemed good. At least for now…

[astr0exe]

K9 [COD MEN (POLY??) X M!READER] : CH2

Ch.1 , Ch.2 , Ch.3

CAS’ MASTERLIST !!

reader is transmac and autistic cause i said so :)

AO3 VERSION : K9

SUMMARY: K9 gets to know the boys even if he doesnt know how to hold a conversation

(feeling so bored transferring all this)

(absolutely terrified that my writings bad but oh well)

(enjoy chapter two!!)

(projecting into the character againnnn)

CW : Swearing + reader vaping + Alcohol Consumption

CHAPTER 2

Third Person POV :

As K9 sat down on the near-disintegrating couch next to Soap, Bucky decided to scour the room and hesitantly move towards the other men in the room. "Let's play a game so we can get to know each other!" Soap suggested excitedly. "Uhhh what's the game?" Gaz replied wearily, scared for what Soap had in mind.

“Never have I ever but as a drinking game? either that or truth or dare!” Soap nagged chuckling softly as he saw the fear in the boys' eyes.

”Umm sure why not I’ll play I wanted to get to know you all anyway..” K9 trailed off awkwardly squirming in his seat when everyone turned in surprise that he agreed.

”Well the boys don’t have a choice if you agree so!” he says as he stands, “let me go get the shot glasses and the alcohol and I will be right back! Don’t have too much fun without me!” he smirks as he walks out the room.

With Soap out of the room, it became deadly silent. Bucky padded over to Gaz slowly,” Hi boy, How's it going?” he addressed the dog, Bucky sniffed his hand and huffed calmly looking back to his owner for permission. K9 just smiled and nodded happy that his dog wasn’t ripping his team apart.

”He is really cute.” Gaz states, looking over at K9 noticing the chipped nail varnish he has on and his lack of eye contact. “Umm Yeah he has been there for me when I needed him” ___ responds softly, slowly they grab a vape from their pocket.

”Umm Do you guys mind if I use this in here I would smoke a cigarette but we are inside so this is my only option.” ___ asked carefully, afraid to offend his new team members.

”Nah we don’t mind lad.” Responded Ghost calmly, noticing how anxious K9 seemed.

Soap bounded back into the room excitedly, getting sniffed by Bucky as he placed the vodka and glasses on the creaking coffee table. “Okay let's get started!” Soap explained whilst pouring the drinks. “I’ll start, Never have I ever set fire to something out of boredom.” GazK9 and Soap both took a shot.

----- Time skip cause I cba writing the whole game -----

With everyone officially tipsy if not more drunk Gaz's gasped and asked brazenly, "K9 what's that flag on your jacket?!" with everyone in the room now looking at ___'s chest patch he knew he was going to have to explain.

"Umm it's the trans flag, I'm transmasculine. So I was born female at birth. I uh hope this doesn't effect your thoughts about me." K9 mumbled worried they would react badly. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as his bottom lip started quivering.

"Aww K9 come here," Soap started whilst opening his arms up to the near shaking man. "You're still a man bonnie {beauty}, I don't know about the others but I know that to me, you are still a lad." K9's tears started falling halfway through Soap's little speech, ___'s sobs racking his body, his tears soaking through Soap's t-shirt as they stayed huddled together. "Lad I don't think of you any differently. Thank you for telling us. Proud of you." Gaz explained kindly. Now all eyes were on Ghost.

"I couldn't care less what you have in your pants you're still a guy." Stated Ghost blandly but with a hint of softness. His eyes crinkled partially at the sides. Soap and K9 stayed cuddled up." Speaking of your pants ___ can I get in them handsome?" Soap flirted but K9 couldn't tell if he was joking or not and his whole face erupted into a red hue like a volcano, his brain short-circuiting. The boys all decided to tease ___ on the fact he looked like a tomato.

As the night grew later, everyone relaxed due to the company and the alcohol coursing through their veins, Ghost noticed Bucky nudging K9 with his nose. Confused Ghost strode over to where Soap and K9 were still cuddling and noticed he was asleep. Soap slowly stood up whilst holding ___ in his arms, smiling down at their resting form. Ghost and Gaz followed behind Soap with Bucky padding after his owner.

Walking through the near silent halls they mumbled between themselves,"K9 is gonna fit in great!" Gaz cheered. "Yeah he seems alright." whispered Ghost as he secretly admired the sleeping man. Soap just nodded, agreeing with them both.

[blockgamepirate]

Techno's Minecraft Mondays!

Just wanted to give some more video recs: IMO the best weeks from Techno's POV are

week 1 with ShotGunRaids

week 3 with Ava Kris Tyson (she/her!) (note: this is pre-transition)

week 6 with Jschlatt

week 10 with Phil

Other weeks are also great but if you don't feel like watching all of them, these four would be my recs

Techno made his own highlights videos of weeks 1, 2, 3 and 14:

Jschlatt made a highlights video of week 6:

Phil made a highlights video of week 10:

^ All of these are great, can recommend. Week 10 is basically a must watch tbh, it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship (I actually prefer to watch the full VOD from Techno's POV but I included Phil's highlights video for people who don't have the time to watch the whole two and a half hours)

I also have a handy playlist for all of Techno's MCM VODs if you do wanna watch everything in full, unedited:

If you do though, I have a few potentially helpful content notes (these are from two years ago so they're not up to date but it's a start)

Week 5 Techno teamed with CallMeCarson but thankfully for most of the VOD they aren't together

If any of you would like to skip the Carson content, here's a handy list of timecodes and a summary so you can skip to the good bits:

20:06 Carson leaves

23:52 Carson comes back

28:35 Carson is muted

34:10 Techno joins team 11's call to find Carson

39:12 I think this is when Carson leaves the call?

48:15 Techno joins Carson again

48:57 Leaves the call

1:11:59 Carson comes back

1:14:50 Carson leaves again

1:16:30 And he's back

1:18:05 And he leaves for the last time

1:43:40 Techno attempts to contact Carson one last time but notices that Carson has left the server entirely

Summary: it's basically just Carson bullying Techno as a joke, which he did warn Techno he was gonna do ahead of time, except it gets very awkward very quickly and Techno hates it and asks Carson to stop but he just doesn't stop. Also it involved him spamming Techno with soundboard messages, most famously "Hey, Technoblade!" which became a meme. Also he tried to teamkill Techno a bunch, which led to Techno losing pretty badly in the first game

Techno spends most of the tournament either just doing solo commentary or hanging out in other teams' calls.

The parts without Carson are still great! Special shoutout to that last game where Techno plays hunger games solo

Also a warning for repeated jokes about a particular disease from AntVenom when Techno joins his and Jordan's call during MCM5. It's during Dropper if you wanna skip that

Other notes:

The first three weeks I would recommend maybe not reading the ingame chat too much if you don't wanna see people hating on Techno. Week 2 and week 3 are especially bad IIRC. But if you don't watch other POVs or read the chat you're mostly fine.

Also I wanna give a content warning for like a lot of food talk and also talk about not eating in week 4 (James talks a bunch about food and eats on stream and Techno has a running joke about not getting fed unless he wins)

I won't bother listing all his teammates. If Techno is teaming with someone you don't want anything to do with; unless it's Carson you're probably just gonna have to skip that week entirely.* Carson is the only one who Techno spends long periods of time not talking to, everybody else he's in VC with pretty much the whole time

(* actually week 14 might still be worth watching despite the teammate (Wisp). That one used to be on my recs list and I only took it off just now because of Wisp, but the highlights video really doesn't have that much of him in it and mostly everybody's just in a massive group call so I think it's fine? It's on the first playlist I linked. For the VOD maybe skip to about 1:01:00 and watch from there?)

Anyway I'm not gonna tell you what to do, I still feel fine about watching those weeks despite the teammates*, because the streams are mostly fine out of context as far as I can remember and it's not like I'm giving them views when I'm just watching Techno's POV, but if you don't feel comfortable doing that, that's understandable and you can skip those weeks.

(* this was written two years ago, I would probably skip week 13 now just because I personally can't handle hearing that guys voice anymore, not that there's anything bad in that VOD from what I can remember (it used to be one of my faves rip))

(Hopefully there isn't anything big that I'm forgetting)

[svnnyd4ys]

Get Duked! incorrects quotes bc this film needs more love imo

Ian, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Dean, the love of my life, for telling me DJ was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

---

Dean: I can't take you seriously wearing that. DJ: Aw, you take me seriously at all? Dean: Fair point.

---

DJ, skipping rocks on a lake with Duncan: It’s such a beautiful evening. Duncan: Yeah, it is. Duncan: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

---

*at 3am* Duncan: *runs into Dean’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead! Dean: *wakes up* Dude! Duncan: *cackles* Ian: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind Dean* What the fuck, Duncan? Duncan: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT-

---

*The squad is playing a team sport* Ian: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as DJ? Duncan: Have you ever played a game with DJ? Ian: No… Duncan: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? *Meanwhile, on the other side of the field* DJ, chasing Dean: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

---

Ian: I fell— DJ: From heaven? Ian: No, I literally fell— DJ: In love with me the moment you saw me? Ian: MY ARM IS BROKEN! DJ: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

---

Duncan: Christmas is cancelled. Ian: You can't cancel a holiday. Duncan: Keep it up, Ian, and you'll lose New Year's too. Ian: What does that mean? Duncan: Dean, take New Year's away from Ian.

---

DJ: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin DJ. Dean: But you're DJ. DJ: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.

---

Dean: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, DJ? DJ: No. Duncan: I do! Dean: I know, Duncan. Duncan: I’m sad. Dean: I know, Duncan.

---

Dean: So, how long have you and Duncan been together? DJ: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Duncan and I are not together. No. No. Dean: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

---

Dean: Ian, how do you feel about lifting heavy things? Ian: My doctor just said I should avoid— Dean: Being a wuss? I agree.

---

DJ, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass." DJ: THERE. Now send it. Ian:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to- DJ: JUST DO IT! later Duncan: So what does it say? Dean, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...." Duncan: Dean: Duncan: Gross-

---

Duncan: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon. DJ: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic. Duncan: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

---

Ian: I just watched Dean jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, DJ was screaming for help, which caused Duncan to run in to help Dean. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

---

DJ: My diamond earring came off in the ocean and it's gone! Dean: DJ, there's people that are dying.

---

Ian: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which? Duncan: Duncan: This one is the dumpster. Ian: They’re both your bedroom.

---

[missveryvery]

Would you ever play bg3 as Trelle?

I keep thinking about it.

But you have unlocked something I want to vent/ramble about, anon. Forgive me.

Here's a TMI/depression dump that you can skip if you like to get to the pertinent answer at the bottom.

I, myself, am getting some, idk, ptsd shit from the game from how much trauma they dump on you and how you have to check in on everyone and do things for them and no one is taking care of you or asking about your own shit. I'm in too deep at this point to not finish at least one of my playthroughs but there's different places where characters are really fucking with you in painful ways.

So after I finish one (1) I will need to take a fucking breather before I start another. It can be good to go "ok, do you see the red flags you missed here? All the things that made you uncomfortable that you ignored for affection/attention/"the greater good"/being a team player/"being a good person" etc? Do you see how you could recognize it happening to other characters but not yourself?" in the safety of a game, but the feelings and sensations it brings up are real.

I get really bad nightmares, but the difference between a normal person with nightmares and me is that my brain doesn't "let go" of them the way it's supposed to so I get the trauma without the cleansing benefits of processing that stuff your brain is supposed to do when you sleep. This is why I avoid a lot of content with bad endings or that are just too fucked up or upsetting. I avoid a lot of media period now, I can't finish shows because I'm afraid of how they'll end, that they'll end badly (even just in some unsatisfying way like it's just badly written) and I'll be residually upset for too long.

I did not realize how upsetting this game would be, I thought it would be more "Honor Among Thieves" fun in tone but it's relentlessly heavy, and your "accomplishments" are all "realistic" in a "you can only do so much way". You save the Grove and...horrific things still happen. Some of the people there are still exclusionary pieces of shit. Even Halsin comes to the city and starts going "wow everyone is so shitty to refugees here, maybe the shadow druids were right, this city should be razed to the ground" like my GUY. Your Grove that you led did all the same fucking shit. What are you talking about. Shadow druids would just do all this harder. The fuck are you saying to me.

I don't think there's a way to slap him and point that out?!?

All that said, Trelle could not handle the shit happening in that game. It is Too Much. There were very fucked up things in CH but Rodrigo wouldn't go "there" and definitely wouldn't linger there if he did. She is not built for that. She has fucked up things in her past but there's ways of handling those things in the delivery and part of that is not making it Everything Is This and It is Constant. Like the ratio of Clown Business to Worst Thing You've Ever Heard is different.

That's a big difference between bg3 and an actual dnd game is that the DM can feel out what the players want and adjust. If your DM is good, they are constantly tweaking to make the experience as fun as possible for the group. Sometimes that means your players want more fucked up stuff and less clown, sometimes it's the opposite. Sometimes what they want differs from day to day. Like "ok everyone wants to go shopping, it's shopping day" and sometimes it's "everyone is going to go nuts if they don't fix what's happening".

This all sounds like it's a bad game. It's not. It's a masterpiece of game making and writing. But it's demanding.

NOT TMI ANSWER:

if I "stayed true to the character" trelle would fuck up so bad, she would not be able to beat the beegees, that girl would not survive that experience even if she did somehow complete the bigger goal. Obliterated. Done-zo.

[spector]

I saw you finished bg3, I'm too much of a baby to go past the second act : ( I've finished it but I've heard the third act isn't as good as the first two, can you share your thoughts? Spoiler free ideally, just... Did you like the third act? How did it compare to the first two? Just wondering as a person who has a chronic inability to finish things because of the risk of a disappointing ending 😭

OUGH I FEEL YOU, i put off finishing act 3 forever, i just kept doing sidequests and exploring , but first of all

act 3 is very badly optimized. even if you have the best PC ever or if ur playing on console, combat in act 3 will take a loooooooooong time bc the city is soo badly optimized. its not about frame drops or anything like that, its just that enemies most of the time will take forever to calculate their first move. someone told me its bc they're targeting unseen enemies or even targeting all of the superfluous items in the city which makes getting thru combat a CHORE. i dont know when they will fix it, i know they keep patching the game as they go but when i played it , it was a misery.

not to mention in act 3 theres just. so much fucking shit to do. good lord. in act 1 and act 2 i was sooo happy to explore and do everything but in act 3 it was just tiring. taking frequent breaks from the game might be beneficial as it was for me

in terms of quests/encounters in act 3 - a bit of hit and miss. in act 1 i think i enjoyed every single quest (but that could've been from the game being brand new in my mind still). in act 3, there are some fun ones (dribbles the clown im looking at you... or the quest where you have to intercept a newspaper article about you from hitting the press) but there are also some that r like ... ok..idc...

THAT SAID, i dont regret finishing it, at first i had a lot of issues with the companions bc none of them stood out to me but they're very malleable if u give them time - that is to say, they can have ambitions that align with your own personal story and that makes it fun, its like ur a team going towards a similar goal. i think that's why i was so motivated to finish, i had a concept for my player character from the start (paladin that breaks their oath bc of the circumstances and then fully embraces the no gods, no masters life by seizing total control) and i had to see it UNFOLD on da screen... and tbh i was very happy with the result, it felt like watching a movie of story plucked from my head

in terms of final fight - EH. it was very easy to me but i was on balanced difficulty so it had the right to be easy.

OH ALSO THE ENTIRE RAPHAEL QUEST WHERE U BREAK INTO HIS HOUSE IS SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOD THAT ENTIRE AREA IS SOOOO GOOOOOOOODODODODODODODOOOOODDDD ! ! !! i think i would recommend act 3 if only to play that part

as for the other 2 baddies (orin and gortash) - they didn't bang for me but there was some depth to both of them that maybe i would've gotten to enjoy if i didn't decide to kill em hehe

anyways, im rambling - the point is, the ending is really what you make it so if you picked choices that were fun to you, the ending should be fun as well. in terms of combat/boss fight mechanics etc, i found it too easy to enjoy. raphael boss fight, now that was a fun encounter. OVERALL, i think i recommend act 3 but maybe wait until its optimized? also get ready for a massive amount of content but just know you can skip things!!

[secretkittywolf]

Genshin challenges

I've set myself a challenge in Genshin - well 2 actually and I'm going to be doing them.

The first is one that I've already started. It's where I pick 14 teams out of the 15 team slots and build each character, test their abilities and see if the team comp works. I have 3 teams built and I'm working on the 4th at the moment. It's quite fun and I enjoy testing out the teams, plus it's great for when the spiral abyss resets so I have other team comps to use.

(The 15th slot is for random teams used to fight bosses. I have a team that I use exclusively for the Ruin Serpent and a team exclusively for Azhdaha. Need to make more for the other bosses)

The second one is starting tomorrow.

As of 4.6, I will not be spending a single primogem at all. This will be my hardest challenge since I will not only be doing this for all of 4.6, but also up until 5.0. I want to see just how many primogems a f2p player can get from just dailies, maintenance, exploration, events, the spiral abyss (still can't 36 star btw), character trials, redeem codes, achievements etc.

In the 3 years I've played, no money has been spent so I'm completely f2p and since I'm more of a spender of my wishes than a saver, I wanna try and save. I did save recently because I badly wanted Kazuha and managed to save up 30 wishes and got him and his signature weapon, by skipping the banners: Xianyun & Nahida, Xiao & Yae Miko and Chiori & Itto. The last day I spent was on the 2nd of February and I got Gaming. I was pretty proud of my saving achievement and decided to raise the stakes.

So during 4.6, 4.7 & 4.8, no primogems will be spent HOWEVER, acquaint fates will be. Since I'm doing the team challenges as well, I will need to level up characters, thus giving me free acquaint fates as well as the free Battle Pass section gives you 5 acquaint fates.

The fountain of Lucine will update on 4.6, thus giving me more and I still have the Inazuma & Sumeru trees to level and get more acquaint fates that way. All intertwined gates from the fountain and trees and primogems, however, can not and will not be touched.

When 5.0 is announced, I will choose my character I want and see if I can AT LEAST get them and their signature, if not just them will do. I have won my 50/50 in both the character and weapon banners, so there's a chance that I may lose but hopefully I will have enough to get them and win. I may get lucky (I really hope so!) and get them early or win my 50/50, but knowing my luck; I'd need a miracle for that to happen.

I will do posts regarding my progress of anyone's interested and cry at the fact that Arlecchino, Clorinde, Sigewinne, Sethos and reruns like Baizhu, Wanderer and others will be unavailable to me and I must try and not cave in and spend. With only acquaint fates to use, I may get lucky and finally get either Tighnari or Dehya and then I'll have all standard banner 5 star characters; even if Dehya sucks.

So yeah, that's my 2 challenges and tomorrow begins the hardest one. Yippee

[apollos-boyfriend]

since your playing p5 whats your thoughts on the team members so far? :D

okay so! as a heads up i have already Experienced p5r so these r not initial thoughts necessarily. but i still want to rant about my favoritest kids <3 this got long so i'm putting it below the cut whoops ladkjf

ryuji! i fucking love ryuji man. i think a lot of people write him off as just the goofy sidekick character but he is SO much more to me. a lot of ryuji's trauma gets so overlooked due to the fact of him largely being comic relief, but like. that kid has gone through SO much!!!! between his father and kamoshida and his peers like. he is SO strong. i love his characterization of "people are treating me like a punk, i may as well act like it" bc it's not even him necessarily playing a role he isn't. he is a punk! he's disruptive and counter-cultural and has issues with authority. and that's punk, but also like, those are the parts of punk that society sees and demonizes. ryuji is punk not just because of that, but because he cares about others before all else and stands up for what's right no matter what, even if it means being punished for it, because he has a super strong sense of justice and is super protective over those he loves!! i feel like a lot of ryuji's character gets kind of. skipped over by a large majority of players. because his actions and presentation is very specific to fighting against japanese culture, meaning it gets lost in translation unless you're aware of japanese culture and norms. i love this boy so much <3

i have. a lot of thoughts on ann. largely her meta-treatment by the writers as opposed to her in-game self. you can find some ramblings if u scroll down my p5lb tag, bc i have. a Lot of thoughts on that aspect of her. on a lighter note, though, i fucking love ann. i think she also kind of falls into the mischaracterization of being ditzy at times. not as badly as ryuji, but ann is a very open character. she's extremely compassionate and wants to help everyone she possibly can, even at her own detriment at times, but as we're shown this sometimes leads her to being used by others. which i think leads to people making her just. overly trusting to a blind degree. or stupid. but ann is super smart! she immediately clocked that the painting was yusuke's, not madarame's, and is shown time and time again to be able to understand others' true feelings, even if they're trying to keep them hidden. i really like how she's blunt and honest, even if it comes off as harsh or insensitive. she speaks her mind! she's not going to hesitate and risk not being heard to understood! i really love that for her

i haven't gotten him yet BUT i am on madarame so. i will sneak in yusuke. because i love him. he is truly one of the characters ever. obviously he is one of The most autistic-coded characters in the game (alongside futaba). which is detrimental to an extent. bc people often just fully mischaracterize him due to his eccentricity. for me i just really love how unapologetic he is with it. that kid has never heard of masking in his life (/pos). he's one of the characters i feel for the most because like. god. he had his whole fucking world twisted. haru and makoto had similar experiences of people they'd known all their lives becoming corrupt, but like. haru's dad wasn't always like that. and neither was makoto's sister. they HAD good intentions. madarame never did. he's the closest to mirroring akechi in that sense, except akechi knew all along. yusuke didn't have that privilege. that sense of revenge. i think his story is so delicate and difficult because how do you even go about knowing your entire life was a lie? and not even in a way you can step away from. art was still his world. it's not just something he did for madarame. the knowledge of carrying that burden. of those memories that shaped you being corrupted in such a way.

morgana is there. i guess. wish he wasn't.

[cloudsspoke]

Random talks about the Arg NT 🇦🇷 : part 2 - Football & KPop, when my 2 fandoms collide

This is another random Argie talk, but before I get to write about them, first I want to mention my other fandom (outside football), which is KPop, as a prologue.

Yesung from the KPop group Super Junior is my first KPop bias, when I first fell into KPop hole circa 2013 (though I never call myself ‘ELF’, am just a ‘Cloud’, a Yesung-fan). It’s only after I became Shinhwa fan (4 years later, back in 2017) that I ended up 'left' football fandom.

Quick introduction about Shinhwa, they are the longest KPop group that ever exists, the one with no members changing, and never disbanding either. One of the reasons I love them badly is because the bond between members. The way they get closer with each fight (the members fought a lot, and I talk about real fistfight), at the same time use excessive skinship method (kissing, hugging, cuddling, getting naked together, having a bath/poop/pee together) to strengthen the chemistry, and it's been like that since their debut, back in 1997-98. The chemistry which makes the 6 of them a really good pairing, either in a form of a duo (15 OTPs) or a trio (10 pairings consisting of 3 members).

In 2018 this group celebrated their 20th anniversary with packed schedules, that's the major reason I skipped World Cup (other than all my faves played badly; The Dutch didn't even qualify, Germany's early exit and Argentina made you question the coach 'Why???').

After World Cup ended, obviously I still didn't bother to watch football (club-wise, I'm a fan of United and Juve since 2003/2004) because Shinhwa took away all my free time, considering so many stories they've had within that 20++ years and I was obsessed to learn everything about them.

But in the midst of busy fangirling over Shinhwa, somehow, I managed to watch Copa America 2021 semifinal, although I couldn't recall anything about the match, or the players, but my old tweet reminded me that I did watch La Scaloneta unconsciously.

Fast forward to this Qatar World Cup, tbh I only started to watch La Albiceleste until they played against the Netherlands (I need a good night's sleep more than football, so mostly just watched the highlights), and when they advanced to semis I watched their Prime “Camina a Qatar” docu-series, and just like that I am trapped.

It's like, initially I came to see Di Maria (my love since 2008) but ended up stuck with the rest of them. And just like years ago when I ditched football for KPop, now it's the other way around.

Call me crazy but I can't help to feel/think La Scaloneta bears several similarities with Shinhwa.

The way the Scalo boys bonded thru truco games ((jackstones, in Shinhwa's case)), barbecues, drinking mate ((for Shinhwa it's soju or beer)), and using profanities as a way to show affection, not to forget Scalo boys also give kisses and hugs, being playful/cheesy to one another (both IRL and on their SNS), every players is shippable (OTP material, I say), their brutal honesty and willingness to protect and defend the team, Scalo boys just remind me of all the things I love from Shinhwa.

And tbh I don't think I've seen a football team/group like this before ((maybe in the good ol' days of Barcelona. I read my old diary, and there I wrote 'this team is like family, no selfish/individualistic players at all)). But a good thing like this sometimes, unfortunately, doesn't last long, no matter how sure we are that these boys will stay solid like this forever.

This, I learned the hard way from Shinhwa. Even with the 6 of them spending 20++ years together, I used to be so confident their friendship will be eternal, that nothing can break the members' bond, turns out I was wrong cuz time and situation changed it little by little.

(Until today the group Shinhwa is still not disbanded yet, but they've been on hiatus since the pandemic, and only came together twice during the event of their members' weddings.)

Now let's go back with La Scaloneta. The way I see it, it all started with a good internal relationship between players, coaches, and AFA's long-time staff. That positivity, combined with Scalo's ability as their coach, helped them to play well on the field and won some games. The victories then generated public support in which boosted players' morale, till they had 36 unbeaten games, and earned 3 major trophies in just 17 months.

Post World Cup, now they are superstars. All eyes are on them. Enzo already stirred something between him, Benfica fans, and Chelsea fans with his transfer rumor. Lautaro scores a goal for Inter and toxic people won't stop talking shit about him because of his performance in WC, all the while praising La Arana Alvarez. Then there's this growing public opinion about Macca being too good to play for 'small team' Brighton, Dibu too good for Villa, Moli Rodri should leave Atletico, etc.

My question, when there’s a thin line between ‘supporters’ and ‘haters’ since people are so easy to judge, and so quick to switch sides, will that stuff affect them?

Today they all can say it's a healthy competition among players about who gets to play and who stays on the bench. But will tomorrow they say the same too? Especially now they are separated for a while, focusing on their club with each of them pursuing different goals, will they keep the chemistry intact once they back to Ezeiza, or will they start to act more individually as time go by?

That's why the more I fangirl over them, the more I actually feel anxious about the future of Scalo boys (especially if/once Leo no longer there), simply because I want to enjoy this happiness for a bit longer since it's only fair cuz we’ve suffered for a long long time.

[jdeowrites]

On being an author in a tumultuous Trad Pub landscape

This is very much a... me talking to myself post, not a news post. Skip if talking about publishing is not your interest. :)

If you’re in on publishing discourse, then you know some of the biggest news of the week has been layoffs in the industry. Perhaps the most shocking was the abrupt closure of HarperCollins’ Inkyard Press, which was communicated to authors and agents through a mass email (Inkyard, if you don't know, is a YA imprint, which used to be called Harlequin Teen.). Some of those authors had gotten their edit letters or had marketing meetings with their publishing teams just the day before. The especially terrible part being, of course, that all those Inkyard employees were also let go. And it was a surprise to them too (yikes).

(Here is a Goodreads list of a bunch of Inkyard authors you can help support!)

It sucks for so many reasons—for all those authors and employees—and while I’m just an observer to this, not having any titles with HC myself, a lot of people I know were affected. And for myself? It did make me reflect on my priorities as an author in this industry. We have truly no control over what could happen on the publishing side of things. There is stuff going on at a corporate level that is… way unrelated to the work I am doing. That has nothing to do with art and everything to do with capitalism and shareholders and higher-ups making their business decisions in NYC offices. 

For myself, over the past few years, one of my major struggles has been figuring out what books I am going to write, when I have felt the pressure to write certain things or to change my works in certain ways, to create things which are more “marketable”. I have nearly bent to these expectations many times, before realizing how unhappy I was and leaving it to go work on something I was actually passionate about. This has delayed my career but I knew it was the right decision for me. And yeah, this Inkyard news really just cemented that for me: there is no point in trying to please anybody except myself with my stories. Because the institutions I’m trying to please don’t actually care at the end of the day.

Even if you and your work do manage to get past acquisitions, that’s not the end of it. Anything could still happen. Your editor who was so enthusiastic about you might leave, and/or your imprint could close like Inkyard did. Or maybe other things happen that majorly affect you, like, your marketing/publicity budget might suck. Your book might tank. It might be received badly. The marketing trends could change and suddenly your book is Out of Fashion before it’s even printed. Or things could go bottoms up at your publisher—for whatever reason, things happen—and your book never even gets printed at all.

And here’s the thing: even if you write books that are easier sells, those risks still exist. There are no guarantees. Which is why, each time I feel the pressure to bend my stories into something else, I try to remember that. If I lost it all, would I regret not just writing the book the way I wanted to in the first place? 

I find posing that question offers a significant amount of clarity. 

And that’s the key, I think: figuring out where that line is for yourself, between the freedom you want for your art, and the realities of the industry we have entered. Trad pub is a business and you have to play the game to whatever extent you can stomach. You don't know whether that will pay off or not. Some people have to write to market since writing is their main job, so they're constantly playing this game, and that's totally okay too. But if you're more like me, that's not the case. If you're like me, you're thinking, okay, so publishing is fickle, trends are unpredictable, and I don’t control any of it. That is either horrifying or... incredibly freeing.

For me it means this: write the books you want to write. Don’t compromise on the stories of your heart. It’s you who has to go to sleep every night for the rest of your life knowing you wrote it. It’s your name on the cover. It’s your life’s work. Your legacy.

Make it matter. Publishing industry or not.

[mutant-munchies]

I told her I fucking said I didn't wanna participate, I said I didn't wanna play volleyball ball because I wasn't comfortable because I didn't wanna ask people I don't talk to if I could join them. "Just give it a try it won't be that bad" she said and I wanted to believe her. Day 2 of playing and I'm in the bathroom crying and having a fucking breakdown, why?I fucking went to hit the ball and start the game I fucked up twice and the dude on the other team laughed, I seen him smirk and then cover his stupid fucking mouth. The girl on my team asked if I could try again and I told her no and I seen how upset she was, both of them. I just felt like such shit like how could I fuck up so badly yk and I just left, I left and asked to use the bathroom so I could cry and hate myself. Because I do. Because I shouldve just skipped and yk what I hope I do tomorrow. I hope I get sick, I hope I get fucking sick so I can just sleep all day and never wake up. I hope I die I really do I'm so overwhelmed and embarrassed and stressed out I fucking can't with this shit anymore I just want it to be over..

[redwineconversation]

Olympique Lyonnais - Stade de Reims OLPlay Postgame Interviews

@Timothee @Coralie feel like pure shit, just want you back

Blah blah standard disclaimers apply; @OL Comms Dept it's cold and rainy outside pls pay for my Earl Grey with soy milk; if stadiums were to ban stans then that would curb invasive behavior reaaaal quick; y'all know the speech by now.

Imagine having an actual job and not being chronically online, parked on someone's social media page and frothing at the mouth while tracking their every move. Imagine actually going outside. Imagine talking to real people. Wouldn't be some of you.

I really, really hate this "journalist" and honestly if Gilles and Cascarino weren't interviewed in this I would probably skip it.

SARA DABRITZ POSTGAME INTERVIEW

Journalist: Yes, hi Sara. [You are] one of the goal scorers today. We left on Wednesday a bit frustrated and annoyed at the 2-2 draw. That's behind us, it's done, there's a win in the league.

Dabritz: Yes, we're very happy today. We wanted to show a different performance compared to how we did in the Champions League. That's why I think we played a good game. We won, we're happy about the win.

Journalist: A quick word about Eugenie Le Sommer who just scored her 300th goal. How would you describe that player?

Dabritz: Yes, for me she's an incredible player. She has a lot of experience and she plays really, really well. She's still scoring goals. She's a really important player for us.

Journalist: Thank you, Sara. Congratulations on the win.

VANESSA GILLES POSTGAME INTERVIEW [Ft DENIS GILLES]

[The journalist is the definition of unprofessional in this interview. I genuinely loathe it when she does the postgame interviews]

Journalist: We're going to do it like this, it'll be nice. The Gilles family. Not quite in full, but it's really nice to have the both of you. How do you feel as a father about your daughter's performances with Olympique Lyonnais and on the Canadian National Team?

Denis Gilles: How do you want me to answer?

Vanessa Gilles: Briefly.

Denis Gilles: Briefly. What does that mean?

Vanessa Gilles: Short [answer].

Denis Gilles: No no, we're really happy for her. As long as she is happy, we're happy.

Vanessa Gilles: Oh my god.

Journalist: You wanted a short answer, you got a short answer. And what support did your dad, or your parents, give you for you to get to where you are?

Vanessa Gilles: Umm. [laughs] Well, that's a good question. They forced me to play tennis and because I hate tennis thanks to them, I switched to football much to their disappointment. Their devastation, you could say.

Denis Gilles: No, no.

Vanessa Gilles: They're a bit in denial. But yeah, anyway. But ever since I became pro, even at university, they've been my biggest fans, my biggest supporters, so yeah. It's good for me. Even when I plaey really badly they tell me I was the best [player] on the field, so that's good for my confidence as well.

Journalist: Do you follow her every game, Mr. Gilles? How does it work? Is there a debrief?

Vanessa Gilles: [laughs]

Denis Gilles: First of all, you must know that we listen to the live audio on OLPlay. Every once in a while in Canada we're forced to watch it on a screen and use the live audio of Timothee [Piron] and Coralie [Ducher]. So you really have to follow along, because either the audio isn't synced to the video, or there is a lag of some sort. So you really have to pay attention. But we always follow her games. And now it's pretty nice because with CanalPlus, we pretty much have every game. Otherwise there's also DAZN, you can watch there, and OLPlay. But I always watch OLPlay with Timothee and Coralie.

Journalist: We have a loyal viewer.

Vanessa Gilles: My father adores Timothee. He adores him. Every time I see Timothee I tell him my father is such a big fan, and he [Timothee] is always like "oh that's so nice, that's why I do this job."

Journalist: That's sweet. Vanessa, a quick word on Eugenie Le Sommer. We're celebrating her 300th goal today. What does she represent to you as a player? What does Eugenie Le Sommer stand for in your eyes?

Vanessa Gilles: Before anything else she is a friend. But she's a competitor, she's a legend. She's Eugenie Le Sommer. When I came to the club her nickname was "You-gency" because she's always the first to help out, to do everything to make you feel at ease. So to know her as a person, and to know the legacy that she has, the goals she's scored, all the trophies she's won, it's - it's nice to know that someone who deserves success and goodness has it, because honestly she's the best on and off the field. 300 goals, that's deserved, and I hope she reaches 400 and that she will stay [at Lyon] forever because playing with her and having her in the locker room, it's incredible.

Journalist: Thank you, Vanessa. Thank you, Mr -

Denis Gilles: Can I say something? [Vanessa Gilles looks embarassed] Me too, I'm really happy for Eugenie. I'm glad we were there for her 300th goal.

Journalist: She told me she did it deliberately. She told me she didn't want to score them against Prague, she was waiting for Mr. Gilles to be there.

DELPHINE CASCARINO POSTGAME INTERVIEW [FT EUGENIE LE SOMMER]

Journalist: Yes, Delphine, we're really happy to always see you at the moment, because it means you're on the pitch and it's going better. Was it important to put on a different performance than what we saw on Wednesday, even if the 2-2 wasn't catastrophic, but it was about just setting the record straight in terms of how Lyon plays.

Cascarino: Yes, it's true that it was really important for us to do better because a draw is like a defeat for us. So yeah. We scored pretty quickly in the first half, we quickly made things easier for us. On the whole it was a pretty good game.

Journalist: A quick word on Eugenie Le Sommer. Are the 300 goals something you're after since you're a forward? We know you like to score. Is she a role model?

Cascarino: Of course, Eugenie is a role model. She was a role model before I turned professional. I was lucky to be a ball girl for the pro team and I would always see Eugenie. She's always been an example for me. I'm really, really proud of her and I really hope that all the young girls will remember Eugenie, because she's really a part of the club's history. Whether it's with Lyon or the French National Team, she's really an exceptional player and I'm happy to be her teammate. [to Le Sommer off-camera] Go on then, come over, Euge[nie].

Journalist: That's good that I have both of you because there's Eugenie - I'm interviewing all the players [no shit] and they all say that she's a role model, even more so for the forwards. Do you realize - if we had told you a long time ago that you would score 300 goals, would you believe it?

Le Sommer: No. No, it's like I've been saying, I didn't think I would score so many when I came to Lyon. So it's a source of pride when it comes to that. Beyond that, being a role model, I try to set an example and to be the best possible, to perform as best as I can, and to show the younger players - it's true that when Delphine turned pro, we tried to show her the path. It's important to show that to the upcoming players and I think that's one of Lyon's strengths. Delphine will continue it after me.

[Cascarino remembers she hates being in the public eye and shuffles off screen]

Journalist: Have you fixed yourself other objectives? Obviously once you've scored 300 goals, you have to aim for more.

Le Sommer: No, my objective is to win. It's to win as many games as possible, as many titles as possible. Beyond that, on a personal level, obviously I'm a forward and want to make a difference and score as many goals as possible, make others score as well. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. For me the most important thing is to play consecutive games and play well, that's what matters, and to help the team, help my teammates. For now that's what matters.

Journalist: In any case, congratulations Eugenie, because beyond being a really good player, a good goalscorer, you're also a really good person. So congratulations for that. Thank you.

Le Sommer: Thank you.

SONIA BOMPASTOR POSTGAME INTERVIEW

Journalist: Yes, Sonia. There are a lot of smiles. There were a lot of scowling when we left off on Wednesday. It wasn't anything serious, it was more frustration. Other than the goal conceded in the first half, it was almost a perfect game.

Bompastor: Yes, in any case I liked the team's reaction today. We put an emphasis on the mentality, on the attitudes. That was necessary. But we were able both within the context and also with the result to respond. Even if as you said there was frustration over what happened against Slavia Prague, it was important to start off again with a good dynamic and approach the next games with a maximum amount of confidence.

Journalist: Yes, it was important because the next game is against PSG. We saw that PSG stalled a little bit with the Champions League. being able to rotate, it's not a luxury but it's - it allows you to keep some freshness.

Bompastor: Yeah, of course. Today both in the context of the match, the result, but also in the rotation, the players executed the plan perfectly. So with the game coming up that's good news. Now we know it's going to be a big game against Paris [Saint-Germain], even if there was that draw they will want to put on a better performance here at Lyon. So there will definitely be a PSG team out for revenge.

Journalist: Sonia, a quick word on Eugenie Le Sommer. What a player. Each time I interview a player, they say she's both a good player, a true goal scorer, but they also talk about her as a person.

Bompastor: Yeah, as a human being, it's true that in terms of mentality she's an exemplary. Eugenie, it's love of a club, she has the Lyon DNA. She performs consistently over the longterm, so really congratulations, hats off to her for 300 goals. I don't think we fully grasp it. I don't even think I hit double digits in my career. But she has all the qualities of a goal scorer. She's exemplary on the pitch for the younger generations, as you said, but also off the pitch as well, because as I said, in terms of mentality she's such a hard worker, she never gives up, so that makes her a great role model.

Journalist: Thank you, Sonia.