#if they hurt Bobby any more I will travel to the US to 'have a word' with Tim

[lemotmo]

911 episode 7x09

Okay, I watched it.

I'm in pain. I can't stop sobbing.

What the F!?

THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!! The drama!!!!

All right, so let's see. Here are my thoughts in no particular order:

Bobby. Do not kill Bobby, I swear! If they kill him I will riot.

Athena asking Amir to talk to Bobby was such a bad idea. For all that this woman knows how to read body language, she should also understand that Amir lost everything because of Bobby. You can't ask a man who lost so much to talk to the man who caused it. He may be forgiving, but there's a limit to what a person can take.

Did Amir set the fire? I wonder. They made it seem like that, for sure. But I'm not sure if he really caused it. I hope not.

Also, that sequence with the song and Bobby going around, talking to everyone? Sobbing mess I tell you. But Bobby, giving Eddie a Bible? What are you thinking? The man is already a vat of Catholic guilt as it is. He doesn't need the Bible. He needs therapy. Give him Frank's telephone number. I think he has lost it.

Henren and Mara. Man, that Ortiz woman is brutal. But once again, just like with Amir, she is acting out of pain. We, as the audience, know that you can't just ruin the life of a young girl like that. But this woman lost her son and she's obviously filled with pain and anger and it's all pointed at Hen. What she is doing is wrong, but from her point of view it is the right thing to do.

Poor Mara though. And Denny hitting that guy. I'm just... no. Get that girl back to them Tim! I swear!

Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie... my love, what are you doing? This is soooo weird. At least he hasn't kissed her. That's something.

Buck meeting Kim was perfect. Once again Eddie and Buck's storylines collide. I loved their talk in the kitchen. That kitchen has seen some interesting Buddie stuff. I like how Buck expressed his concern and how Eddie admits that he is worried about his own sanity as well. He knows that what he is doing is wrong, but he doesn't know how to stop it.

I love how Buck talking to him and Kim showing up at the fire station, moved Eddie into gear to talk to Kim and tell her the truth. I'm so happy that he told her, because I was afraid she would find out in some other way and that would have been so much worse.

But what on Earth is Kim doing? I'm sorry, but that is some level of batshit insane. She is dressing and acting like Shannon to help Eddie release his emotions? That is so wrong and so weird. I would be out of there forever if I was in that situation. For a minute I thought he was dreaming and then they started talking. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be anything romantic or sexual though. It was literally a conversation to 'help' him move on.

Well, at least Eddie got to say what he needed to say to 'Shannon'. If this level of batshit insanity is what he needs to push the refresh button, then sure... why not?

And then of course Marisol and Chris walk in on them. The plot only thickens.

Poor Chris. This isn't going to end well. Hasn't that boy been through enough? He might just end up living with Eddie's parents for the Summer after all. Not in a 'We're taking that boy away from you' type of way. But more a 'The man needs some time to sort out his shit' type of way.

Marisol is bones, because no way she'll stick around. I don't know what Kim was doing, but she obviously has to go too. This isn't a way to live for Eddie. He needs to move on from Shannon.

Captain Gerrard being there? Oh, they are definitely going to make him the new Captain of the 118 in the finale. I can smell it. The firefam will be seperated for sure. Scattered accross different houses. Chim might be the only one left behind at the 118, having to deal with Gerrard again.

That's why Eddie will feel isolated. He'll be alone, no Chris, no firefam, no Buck to lean on because they'll have different shifts and hours. So they'll see less of each other.

As for Buck and Tommy? I'm not sure what to say here. They were kind of a non-issue in this episode. I think it's clear at this point that Tommy is a narrative foil and not some kind of great love for Buck. He is just there when he needs to be in Buck's storyline. Bobby telling Buck that Tommy is good for him harkens back to Abby as well, how he told him to step into it with Abby. Look how that ended. Not just that, it's the way it was just a throw-away line. He was trying to say goodbye and make amends, leave them all in a good place. And from what Bobby has seen so far, Tommy seems to be a good guy. It wasn't even as deep as the Abby talk and Buck didn't really care one way or the other.

Buck basically started the season in the locker room telling Eddie he had broken up with Nathalia and was single again. Now he's in the locker room in the penultimate episode and he's in a relationship again. Waaay too soon once again. He rolled into another relationship without having to make too much of an effort. Another person he met on a call, a firefighter sure, but they still met on a call. That hamster wheel keeps on turning. When will it end?

RIP to the Buck in the locker room sunset scene though. We had some great Buddie speculations for that, but alas it was just a capture that Tim liked because it looked artsy. So he posted it.

Buck and Eddie were in each other's orbit so much during this episode. They showed them cooking together, playing pool together, the kitchen scene... Eddie needs to work through a lot of shit and Buck is navigating his new relationship, but ultimately? I'm sorry, but they all but hung up a great big neon-sign that said: 'ALL OF THIS IS SOME DAY LEADING TO BUDDIE. BE PATIENT!'

Also, Lou said he isn't even in 7x10 right? If that is true... yeah, they aren't going to last long. How funny would it be if they gave BT the Bucktalia break up during hiatus?

Conclusion: What a great episode. I loved it all. They made weird choices this season though. The Shannon look-a-like is telenovella kinds of drama. But I'll take it in stride if it means it will help Eddie to move on. Bobby? Oh Bobby... I hope this scare with his own mortality will make him realise how much he needs to live for himself and his family. Henren just can't catch a break, can they? Give that child to them please! Do it next week too! I cannot wait months to see how this ends. I need that child to be happy with the Wilsons. The only people thriving right now are Madney. Good for them.

[shallowseeker]

It’s kind of a gross misstatement to say Cas was simply a bad friend during the season 6 arc. Dean was also a jackass. He refused to even listen that Cas had his own problems to contend with in heaven and just insulted him (Baby in a Trenchcoat) or took him for granted and prayed when he needed some angelic boost like the time travel. It was only after months of this that Dean finally had a half-ass “Hey Cas, if you need any assistance with your heavenly war, let us know”. Dean and Castiel are both equally at fault for the initial breakup.

I'm not sure why I'm getting this particular question, but yup, I agree that the situation was complex.

One of Dean's legendary coping mechanisms/neuroses is to get prickly and mean when the going gets tough, and I love to talk a lot with regards to both the fighting/hunting and the parenting of Jack Kline.

For Dean and Cas, they're both deliciously Going Through It (TM) in season 6 in different ways, Cas dealing with paranoia via the fallout of Heavenly betrayal and Dean with his complicated feelings of displacement into civilian life.

I sort of miss the days of TV when people got to screw up this badly with one another, but not in such a way that it’s bludgeoning, mean-spirited cynicism, hehe. (((For example, I struggle to think of a modern era of SPN where Bobby's frustration and worry over Dean would boil out in this horrifying way: "You sorry--you're not a person," when in actuality, he's desperately begging Dean not to die, and it's coming out all wrong. Or Dean's indirect forgiveness of Cas, that Cas picks up on immediately by tone alone: "Bottom of the ninth...I'd rather have you, cursed or not.")))

But if we're talking about season 6, Cas is controlling most of the means of communication from the get-go, and the power is definitely weighted in his favor. He sets the tone for it as soon as his big heart leads him to abruptly flit from the car to go and rescue Sam. BUT it's also no accident that Dean's narrative nickname for Cas is SUPERMAN. A perfect, invincible superhero. Dean took him for granted, hero-worshipped him, and conceptualized him as perfect... something Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets reflects back in an off-key manner: "I thought he was perfect...he was a monster (and hurt my child)." The truth with Dean and Cas is not either extreme, however. ("That nifty metaphor has holes:" Cas was trying to save Sam from the get-go, on multiple occasions.) It's the humanity that's in the middle.

It's lovely! And to me, it feels so real, too. Maybe someone else can chime in, but I don't have any huge, complicated feelings about this except that I really, really like the disillusionment period on both sides!

“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” - Pema Chödrön

Love isn't baggageless perfection. It's understanding, forgiveness, resilience.

DEAN (in the dream state, to MARY): I hate you. (Deans voice breaks as tears run down his face) I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. (Mary continues to look away but seems to hear him) I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything.

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 30 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 820

A/N: I know y’all are dying for some Dean and Julia romance but keep in mind this is a slow burn 🔥 it will be soon tho I promise :) just hang in there for me lol. Stated as always this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

Julia sat in the bunker, her body shaking with quiet sobs. She had barely processed the events of the last few hours—Dean, the fight with Metatron, his death. The image of him collapsing in her arms haunted her, the way his breath had stilled, his body gone cold.

Her heart ached with a deep, crushing weight. She didn't want to believe it was over. Not like this. Dean was always supposed to come back. No matter how bad things got, Dean Winchester always fought his way back.

Sam walked into the room quietly, his face pale and grim. He'd been trying everything he could to figure out a way to fix this—to bring Dean back from wherever he was. But even his last-ditch effort to summon Crowley seemed futile. Cas is without his grace and Crowley was gone, and so was any chance they had of understanding what had happened to Dean, who is now a demon and is gone.

"Julia," Sam's voice was low and hoarse as he approached, something clenched in his hand.

She looked up, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "What is it?"

Sam hesitated for a moment before handing her the note. "I found this.” Her eyes fell to the note, her hands trembling as she unfolded it and read the farewell Dean left them

Her breath caught in her throat as she read it. Tears welled up again, but this time they weren't just tears of sorrow—they were anger, frustration, and confusion all rolled into one. She crumpled the note in her hand and looked up at Sam, her eyes blazing.

"We can't just let him go, Sam," she said, her voice breaking. "He's still Dean. I know he's still in there somewhere."

Sam's expression mirrored her despair. "I know. But if the Mark's still got a hold of him—if he's really... different now—then he could be dangerous. We have to be smart about this."

Julia stood, pacing in frustration. "Smart? He's out there—God knows where—and he's not himself. He could hurt someone or—" Her voice trailed off, the reality sinking in. She clenched her fists. "We can't let that happen. We have to find him, Sam."

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I agree. But we need a plan. Crowley's in this too. Wherever Dean is, Crowley's not far behind. He's been playing some long game, and we need to figure out what it is."

Julia nodded, determination hardening her features. "Then we start there. Crowley might think he's in control, but Dean's not going to follow his rules."

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Crowley had indeed taken Dean in, though it was more for his own benefit than Dean's. The King of Hell saw potential in Dean—power, anger, and the Mark of Cain fueling something dark and unstoppable. Crowley imagined a future where they ruled together, two forces of chaos and strength.

But Dean was different now. The Mark had twisted him, made him colder, less tethered to his old life. Despite Crowley's best efforts, Dean wasn't interested in playing his games.

In the dimly lit, demon-infested bar where they had holed up, Crowley leaned back in his chair, watching Dean with a keen eye as he downed another glass of whiskey. They'd been traveling together for days now, and Crowley had tried every trick in the book to gain Dean's loyalty. He offered Dean power, freedom, anything he wanted—but Dean didn't care.

"Squirrel", Crowley drawled, trying once again to strike up conversation. "We could be something. A real partnership—ruling Hell together. The First Blade, the Mark—it's all yours. You and me, making Hell ours."

Dean barely looked up from his drink, his face devoid of any real interest. "I don't need a partner, Crowley. And I sure as hell don't need you telling me what to do."

Crowley's expression flickered with frustration. "I'm not trying to control you. I'm offering you the keys to the kingdom. You've got power now, more than you've ever had. Think about what we could do together."

Dean stood up suddenly, his presence menacing and unsettling, even to Crowley. "I don't care about ruling Hell. I do what I want, when I want. You think you can leash me? You're wrong."

Crowley watched him with a sharp, calculating look, but inside, he knew. Even as a demon, Dean Winchester wasn't someone who could be easily controlled. Crowley was trying to forge a bond that simply wasn't there. Dean had his own path, and it didn't involve following anyone's orders—especially not Crowley's.

As Dean stormed out of the bar, Crowley sat back with a sigh. He'd gotten more than he bargained for when he resurrected Dean with the Mark of Cain. Now, it seemed, even Crowley had no idea how far this new version of Dean would go.

[gmwsuperfan5467890]

911 In Another Life Theories

Based on the synopsis and behind the scenes footage, we know that Buck is in a coma and dreams of what would happen if he never became a firefighter or in other words if he managed to save Daniel.

I will go character by character and examine what could possibly happen to them in Buck’s Coma dream.

1) Buck

In one of the behind the scenes videos, Buck is seen wearing a white button up, green sweater and tan slacks (I think they are slacks?). I like to call this look “Shaggy goes to Prom” because the colour scheme is reminiscent of the character Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Shaggy is a very chill, laid back guy while Buck’s attire is supposed to formal, giving the vibe that he is trying to be someone who he is not.

I think that Buck will still be striving to gain the approval from his parents, which he will never get because his parents never wanted him, they only wanted someone to save Daniel. In the beginning of Buck’s dream, his parents will seem more present but at the end of the day, their favoritism is very obvious. Buck will also not be reckless because he doesn’t need to get hurt to get his parents attention. His career will be in something that is very practical, the job that parents typically approve of but Buck will absolutely have no passion in, such as accounting, marketing, business, economics or an office job. I could also see Buck having a difficult job that he would have to study many years for, such as a doctor or nurse. Buck has most likely never travelled around the US and still lives in Hershey.

2) Daniel

Daniel is a normal, chill guy with extremely doting parents. His parents worship the ground he walks on and have given him everything as a child, which you’d think would make him spoiled but he surprisingly isn’t (thanks to Maddie). His parents will go on about how Buck should be more like Daniel even if Buck had done something remarkable and Daniel hadn’t. Daniel either lives in LA and the Buckelys will visit Daniel or Daniel lives in Hershey and the Buckleys go to LA on vacation for some reason.

In this coma dream, Daniel will be Buck’s “Guardian Angel” and they will have a conversation at the end. Daniel will tell Buck that it’s okay that he couldn’t save him, it wouldn’t have worked with Buck’s bone marrow or anyone else’s, these things happen and it’s nobody’s fault. Daniel will tell him that he loves him even if he had only known him briefly and that he will always be in his heart. Finally Daniel will tell to wake up and be with his real family and then Buck wakes up.

3) Maddie

Unfortunately, I think Maddie will still be with Doug. Assuming that both Buck and Daniel still live in Hershey, then Maddie would have nowhere to run since Hershey is the first place Doug would look. Alternatively, Maddie could be the one living in LA because she ran away from Doug, so the Buckleys end up in LA visiting her. I also don’t think Maddie and Buck will be as close because she didn’t raise him and they didn’t only have each other. Daniel and Buck probably have an inkling that Doug is abusing/abused Maddie but they aren’t 100% certain.

Maddie is definitely very closed off, isolated and lonely because she has no one to confide in and she doesn’t feel close enough to any of her family members to confide in.

4) Chimney

Since he is not with Maddie, Chimney will probably still be dating Tatiana or somebody like Tatiana. Chimney is still hiding who he is from the people he dates because he thinks no one will accept him for who he is. He will be a lot like Chimney from the first 3 eps of season 1, insecure, unsure if himself, always wanting to be a hero but never gets taken seriously. Ultimately Chimney will be miserable due to his love life and low self-esteem which could possibly bleed into his work life.

5) Hen

I think Hen will have already left for medical school years ago because the 118 wouldn’t really be the 118. There is no Buck, no Eddie, Chimney is miserable, Bobby is miserable, everything feels off. This more likely motivates Hen to go to med school and become a doctor before the season 6 timeline, in this case I would also assume that the lab explosion never happened and Karen and Denny are alive and well. Hen still keeps in touch with Bobby and Chim and Athena.

6) Bobby

I think Buck kind of heals Bobby because he got to be a father figure to him. I do want to add that Chim and Hen also help heal him by being his friends and helping him when times are rough but without all three of them helping Bobby, it will take him much longer to heal or even reach to the point he was at the end of season 1. Additionally, his insecurities in parenting Athena’s children will be much more present. Ultimately, Bobby’s lack of healing will cause Bathena to break up even though both they still love each other. Alternatively Bathena could still be together but their relationship would be rocky.

7) Athena

Bobby and Athena break up or have a rocky relationship. Bathena’s relationship was very important to Athena’s healing journey and her finally finding the love she deserved, so she would not be as healed as she is in the present-day timeline and she could still harbour hurt and resentment for Michael because he was the one who got to move on when she couldn’t. I wish I could think of more but Buck and Athena don’t interact that often.

8) Eddie

Eddie joins the 118 briefly but ends up moving back to Texas because taking care of a 7-year old while working a demanding job is impossible and there is no Carla or Buck to help him out. Additionally, he never quite felt at home in LA, his coworkers at the 118 were nice but seemed to be wrapped up in their own problems and were distant. There was also something (or someone) missing. So Eddie is in Texas with his parents who constantly criticize him and their relationship is never fixed. Eddie is still repressed and not as healed as in the present day timeline. He is still a good father to Chris but parenting is so hard when you’re doing it alone (or rather when you make a parenting decision and your parents push back on you saying it’s wrong and you argue back and forth for days).

Christopher growing up in this argument is not good for his mental health. In addition, he also loses a great parental figure (Buck). I could also see Chris resenting Eddie for not letting him see Shannon.

I understand that some of these theories may be a stretch, but I think the writers will want to show that Buck has affected each character in a profound way because 1) The point of these types of episodes is to show that the character that is dreaming or in a coma is important and loved 2) All the characters in this show affect each other in a profound way because they are a family.

I will also tag this post as Buddie because I said that Buck was Eddie’s home and what could be more romantic than being someone’s safe space, the person that they can confide in, their coparent and an integral part of their family unit?

I will also tag this as Bathena and Madney because as stated, these relationships are essential to these characters’ journeys and have helped them heal exponentially.

[chaoticgremlinwholikescheese]

Don’t Let Go

Whump

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley

Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

I am californian and fire season is a genuine thing

AO3 LINK

Usually there's four seasons. Fall, winter, spring, and summer. In California, there's five seasons. Fall, winter, spring, summer, and fire. Fire season comes every year without fail. It's a staple of life you get used to when you live in the sunshine state. However, with climate change, the fires get worse every year. And this year is the worst one in decades.

"118! Listen up!"

Bobby's voice rings through the fire house as silence falls. Everyone gathers around him.

"As you all know, this years fire season has been bad. Our station has been assigned to fight the fires on the southern ridges. This is going to be a five day assignment, but it could go longer. We're expected to arrive by eight AM tomorrow. I know this is short notice, and I apologize, but I just found out about this myself. After shift today, please make any arrangements you need to. If you require assistance or have questions, feel free to ask me. Thank you all."

There's murmuring from the crowd, but it dissipates as everyone scatters.

"I was hoping we wouldn't be dispatched for a bit longer," Eddie sighs.

"It comes every year like clock work. Do you know if Carla can watch Chris?"

"Honestly, Buck, I don't know. I'll call and ask."

"Karen said she could watch the kids after work. Chris can stay with Denny, it'll be like a super-long sleepover," Hen interjects. "So as long as Carla can watch Chris during the day, everything should be fine."

"Hen. Have I ever told you and Karen that you two are the greatest people on the planet?"

"Yes. But hearing it again never hurts."

Hen goes off to chat with Chim, who's calling Maddie. Eddie turns to Buck.

"I was going to invite you over for a movie night tonight, but you'll probably want to pack."

"I've got everything I need at your place. I can throw it in my travel bag. Plus, I promised Chris I would make Bobby's lasagna tonight."

Eddie has this soft smile on his face. It's one that's reserved solely for Chris and Buck. Hen calls it his 'love-sick smile'. And in all honesty, Eddie knows she's right. He's head over heels for Buck. Has been for years. It's as familiar to him as breathing. Maybe one day he'll tell Buck. But for right now, he doesn't want to risk losing Buck completely. He can't handle that. He just got him back after the lightning strike. He won't lose him again just because he can't keep his feelings in check.

The alarm goes off, spurring everyone into action. Eddie forces himself to clear his mind.

*******************

Buck knows Eddie's kitchen like the back of his hand. Partially because he reorganized it while stressed, but more so because he cooks here more than he ever does in his own home. He spends more time at Eddie's house than he does his own house in general. He's become a staple in the Diaz household. And he'll forever be grateful that they want him here.

"Okay, the lasagna is almost ready. Chris, can you grab the water from the fridge?"

Chris does so, Dodging Eddie as he goes to grab the plates. The timer goes off and Buck grabs the food from the oven. He places it on the table, taking his seat next to Eddie.

"This smells amazing."

"Lucky for you, you're getting the first piece," Buck says as he serves Chris a slice.

They all dig in. They chat about their day. Chris updates them on the gossip from school. It's the domestic moments like these that Buck loves the most.

After dinner, Buck washes the dishes as Eddie dries them. Chris runs off to his room to get into PJs.

"We have to tell him we're being dispatched," Eddie whispers.

"I know."

"I hate leaving him."

"Me too."

He bumps his shoulder into Eddie's, a silent show of support. Eddie smiles at him. They stay like that as they wash the rest of the dishes. Eventually, Chris comes back in, now clad in dinosaur pajamas.

"Hey Chris, before we start the movie, we gotta talk about something really quick."

Chris shoots them a nervous look. Buck quickly assures him it's nothing bad. That seems to relax the boy a bit, but he's clearly still worried.

"You know the fires going on? Buck and I are being sent to go fight them. We'll be gone for a couple days. We have to leave tomorrow. Carla will watch you during the day like usual, and you'll stay with Karen and Denny."

"How long will you be gone?"

"We don't know. Probably about five days. I promise I'll take care of your dad, alright?"

"And I'll take care of Buck. We'll be back before you know it."

Chris nods.

"I'm not worried. As long as you two stay together, you'll both come home," he says confidently.

"Exactly. Now, what movie do you want to watch, mijo?"

*******************

Buck spends the ride to basecamp doing crossword puzzles. Occasionally he'll ask Eddie for help with a question, but on the whole his collection of random knowledge makes the puzzles easy. Eddie passes the time scrolling on his phone. He has a bunch of articles that Buck sent him, so he works his way through those. They're about a variety of different subjects. Buck tends to go on research binges, and he'll send Eddie things he finds interesting. Eddie loves it.

When they arrive, Bobby orders everyone to disembark. The moment Eddie steps outside, he's hit by a wave of smoky air. The sky is a shade of orange. It's apocalyptic. Bobby leads them over to the main tent, where everything is being organized. A woman comes out to meet them. She's rather short, but she exudes intimidating energy. Her salt-and-pepper hair is tied back in a tight bun.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Captain Hestwen. I'm the one in charge here. In a minute, you'll be getting your assignments. Over to the left is the field hospital. That tent right there is the bunks, grab naps whenever you can. A full nights sleep won't happen. Food is at the green tent, and the tent next to that is where we're storing gear. If you need me, I'll be here. I'll be seeing you all later at the briefing."

She heads inside just as Bobby comes out. He starts listing off their different positions.

"Chim, Hen, you're on med. You're going with a team from the 159 to help with evacuations and injuries. Andrews, you're joining the 35. Jefferson, you're going to help with heli-rescue. Diaz, Buck, you two are going out with the 128 to help with search and rescue. I'm staying here to help Captain Hestwen. Keep your radios on. The wind could shift, so I want to make sure I can get in touch with you all if I need to. Stay safe, everyone."

With that, everyone heads to their designated positions. It takes Eddie and Buck a moment to locate the 128. They find the crew resting around a table. There's about four of them. A young man comes up to greet them.

"Buckley and Diaz? I'm Ryan. I'm heading up this crew. That's Teri, Hartley, and Muniz."

"Nice to meet you. Call me Buck."

They all shake hands before heading over to the table. There's a map laid out, marked by red pins.

"Okay. There's a campsite that was right along the fire line. Most of the campers got out, but there's still three missing. There's a teenage girl named Jocelyn who was doing a solo trip, and a young couple, Nick and Theo. The wind is shifting fast, so we need to move faster. There's no way to get a helicopter out in this smoke, so we're taking ATVs down. We need to cover a large distance, so we're going to take different areas. Muniz, you're with me, taking the North campsite. Teri and Hartley, you're taking the east. Buck and Diaz, you're taking the west corner. You'll all get a map. Keep in mind that the fire line will be constantly shifting, so the map may be inaccurate."

Ryan leads them to the ATVs. Buck opts to drive, since Eddie is better at reading maps. It's a skill he picked up in the army. After making sure they're all on the same radio channel, they go their separate ways. Eddie directs Buck along the side trails. The road is thin and rocky. The smoke gets thicker as they head closer to the fire line. Buck can feel it settling on his skin. He calls out all three names, praying that they hear a response.

"To the left! A tent!"

Buck pulls over when he hears Eddie yell. They get out to investigate. There's two sleeping bags, so it must be Nick and Theo's. There's not much of the tent left. It looks like the fire swept through, charring everything in it's path. Buck calls out their names, even though it's unlikely the two men are anywhere nearby. They likely would have run from the fire.

"Let's head further down the trail. My guess is that they ran when the fire came."

Eddie nods in agreement. They climb back in and start to drive again. They see the evidence of the fire all around them. They're getting closer to the fire itself. When Nick and Theo ran, they didn't know the fire line would shift with the wind. They had no idea they were running straight towards it.

"Theo! Nick!"

Eddie's voice is hoarse from the combination of yelling and smoke. Nevertheless, he yells out their names again.

"Down here! Help!"

Buck abruptly stops. They run out of the ATV, heading towards the voice. They end up on a steep ridge. Down below, the two men are sitting. One appears mostly okay, but the other has a badly cut leg. Eddie can see the white of bone from where he's standing.

"The ridge collapsed! We can't get out," one yells.

"Grab the med bag," Buck orders. When Eddie returns, Buck has already scrambled down the ridge. He's putting pressure on the man's wound with the gauze from his pocket. "Throw down a rope! You'll have to pull them up, okay?"

They don't have access to their usual gear. All they have is some rope and carabiners. Eddie ties one end of the rope around a large boulder. He gives it a tug to make sure it's secure. Then he tosses the other end over the ridge, watching to make sure it doesn't get snagged on anything. Buck quickly ties it into a rescue knot.

"Theo, you need to go up. Eddie is going to help you."

"I'm not leaving Nick!"

"I promise I'll take care of him."

"Go," Nick croaks.

Theo hesitates, but grabs onto the rope. Eddie instructs him to put the loops around his legs. Once Theo is secure, Eddie uses all his strength to pull him up. Even with his gloves, the rope bites into his hands. The moment Theo appears over the edge, Eddie pulls him fully to safety.

"Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No. I mean yes, I have some cuts and a sprained wrist, but you need to take care of my boyfriend first, please-"

"Buck's got him. Go get in the ATV, we're going to get you both out of here."

The radio attached to Eddie's chest crackles to life. Bobby's voice comes over the line.

"All search and rescue teams, be advised that the wind is shifting. Fire is rapidly heading west."

Eddie swears. The fire is heading right for them. He can see it in the distance, getting closer with each passing second. They need to get out of here. He runs back to the edge of the ridge and throws the rope back down. Buck helps Nick up, carrying the majority of his weight. Buck has tied a tourniquet just above his wound. With a good bit of help, Nick gets secured to the rope. Buck gives Eddie a thumbs up.

It's when Eddie gets Nick to the top that the ridge collapses, taking the rock and rope with it. Eddie barely grabs Nick in time. Half the ridge falls, boulders tumbling down. He pulls Nick to safety before running over to check on Buck. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that Buck is stumbling to his feet.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Ankle might be broken though," Buck says. He's leaning heavily on his right side.

Eddie can see the fire getting closer. It'll reach them in only a couple of minutes. He has to get Buck up and out of here fast. Theo has already helped Nick into the ATV. Eddie searches the back for another rope, but there's none. Fuck. Eddie races back to the edge, wary of the fact that the ridge is unstable.

"You need to climb! Can you?"

"I don't think so. Eddie, you need to get Nick and Theo out of here. I'll find a different way up."

"I'm not leaving you."

"The fire is heading this way. You need to go!"

Eddie looks at Nick and Theo. Theo still has a small backpack on.

"Theo! Do you have any rope on you?"

He checks his bag, smiling when he pulls out a thin line. Eddie grabs it, testing its strength. It's enough. It has to be. He finds another hefty boulder and ties one end of the rope around it, making sure it's tightly knotted. He throws the other end down. He can feel the heat emanating from the fast-approaching flames. Buck knots the other end around himself. He looks warily at the flames, now eating through the trees only a few feet away.

Eddie begins to pull. His muscles scream at him, exhausted from all the work, but he ignores the pain. All that matters is getting Buck to safety.

The rope creaks.

It snaps.

Eddie lunges forward, grabbing Buck's hand just in time. The rope drops into the flames below. Eddie tries to pull Buck up, but he gets dragged towards the edge. The only thing holding him in place is the root his foot is lodged in, but that's about to give way too.

"Eddie, you have to let go, I'm going to pull you down with me," Buck begs.

"No," Eddie chokes out through gritted teeth. If he lets go Buck is going to fall. And if the fall doesn't kill him, the inferno waiting below will.

"Chris needs you."

"He needs you too!"

"Tell him I love him, okay? And- and there's notes for everyone. Just in case. They're in a box in my closet. Tell everyone I love them, alright?"

"Buck, please-" Eddie's cut off by his own strangled sob. The root gives way a little more.

"It's okay. I love you, Eddie."

With one last smile, Buck lets go. Eddie watches him fall.

CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e19 mommy dearest (w. adam glass)

well my whole eve/victoria pedretti mind connection (also this afternoon was crying for a good 20 minutes while painting and rewatching the haunting of hill house) this disabling the exit to the bar and then everyone trying to eat each other reminds me of that church scene in midnight mass (was she even in that one? lol) but way less emotionally fraught. and shorter. adds to the list of gif comparatives of various stuff with spn that i may never get around to because making gifs is tedious work i don't particularly enjoy.

i think i'm delighted to hear licensed music because it's so infrequent now and it's a lot more fun than the score 😬

when i was a kid, i helped my dad fill shotgun shells using something like this (primarily for shooting skeet at a range though he also hunted)

anyway. dean is using a literal tablespoon to put the phoenix's ashes in these special shells apparently. fear not, a well used shotgun shell reloader in the back there (lee load-all reloader only $79.99 at cabela's!)

DEAN Why has it always got to be me that makes the call, huh? It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. (Cas appears behind him. Dean turns around, surprised) Cas, get out of my ass!

CAS I was never in your–

wait hold up is this like that weird wording that i talked about before, out of your ass...

okay this must be a wording thing because they had pestilence use the same and i was very perplexed by the phrasing. SHERIFF MILLS I lose my job over this, I am taking it out of your ass! s5e21 DR. GREEN You mean my brothers. What they did to my brothers. No. The only reasonable thing to do here is to…take it out of their healthy young asses!

that's so strange. anyway. woo they can use more gay innuendo jokes because they have a non-brother dude who we're saying/joking/but actually saying has Feelings for dean to be on the receiving end (har har) 😑

LENORE I remember. Your hunter friend almost killed me.

SAM Well if it makes you feel any better, uh, he turned into a vampire and I chopped his head off.

DEAN Yeah. With razor wire. Wicked.

dean's so proud

okay so thank fuck they didn't make sam kill another pretty lady that was a monster. we don't need madison 2.0.

CAS We needed to move this along.

mr funny again

🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

CAS Something in this town, is, uh, it's affecting me. I assume it's Eve.

DEAN So wait, Mom's making you limp?

CAS Figuratively, yes.

DEAN How?

CAS I don't know, but she is.

DEAN Well, that's great, because without your power, you're basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

SAM I think you hurt his feelings.

don't be an asshole, dean. this is why i called cas a work friend :p

my dad travelled a ton for work when i was a kid so he always had a company car. one of them was a chevy caprice classic like this one, but white.

well the baby in the trench coat decapitated someone. good enough for you, dean?

reflection in the glass just reminding me of how model-pretty jensen's face is

are the kids gonna be monsters and try to eat sam and dean. okay the oldest "kid" has visible stubble and is 24. baby face and short stature and no pesky child actor rules

CAS We need to find Eve now.

DEAN Yeah. Go. Me and Sam just gotta make a milk run.

CAS We need your help here.

DEAN Hold your water. We'll be back in a few.

CAS Dean, Dean. Millions of lives are at stakes here, not just two. Stay focused.

my face at the "stay focused": 😒 like being told to relax

DEAN Are you kidding?

CAS There's a greater purpose here.

DEAN You know what, I-I'm getting a little sick and tired of the greater purposes, okay? I think what I'd like to do now is save a couple of kids. If you don't mind. We'll catch up.

*schmoopy music*

oh the brother mush intensifies! big brother tells little brother he should get some rest and they cuddle up to sleep. and sam looks at dean, dean smiles fondly. sam makes his thinking thoughtful face out the window as he (obviously) thinks about how dean took care of him haha

BOBBY They won't take long.

CAS You don't know that. They may find more wayward orphans along the way.

😂

BOBBY Oh, don't get cute.

CAS Right. Pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with "sarcasm". It was a bad idea – letting them go.

BOBBY Come on. You don't let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They do what they gotta. You know that.

haha pissy cas again, a treat. and ain't that the truth, they're gonna do what they want to do, come hell or highwater

oh my god the extended family reunion and the exchanged looks with sam and dean. WE GET IT, GUYS. feeling soft about big brothers taking care of little brothers. saving lives, reuniting families

this is so interesting, in a way, because i had no idea that cas had this darkside situation going on. the thing with the souls, the torturing. i know nothing about his character arc! when i know a lot about sam and dean's

lol so one of the kids was a monster. all gone, the mushy feelings

EVE You look upset. If it makes you feel any better, Ryan was bound to work on you. Little wayward orphan, like yourselves. There's nothing you can do about it now. So let's talk.

samantha smith's voice (eve as mary here) reminds me of someone in hill house. i think elizabeth reaser (played shirley [also esme in twilight])?

this whole thing is a lot. glad dean had some amazing forethought to consume some of the ash to make himself poisonous to her eating him LOLL

cas finally gettin something cool to do

demons *gasp*

so is cas working with crowley? i admit to tuning out a little when eve was talking about the soul battery stealing plan

well i guess that answers that. something weirdly satisfying about crowley scolding cas, what's that about

while i was looking up sam's boots, because i'm a weirdo, this site boldly declared dean winchester smells like some particular fragrance. i thought that was weird to be so specific without a source mentioned and so then i go searching the internet for dean winchester cologne. and ended up some pinterest link that is a youtube video of a con thing with j2 and jackles saying he wears tom ford "wood" (note: it's oud wood, but oud means a type of wood. agarwood wood.) and "it works" and then padalecki asking where he sprays it. i think for my sanity it is best i continue to avoid bts/con related content

like, nothing on the hey i know you front. suddenly started getting exclusively side characters actors i've never seen in anything else

also i guess eve is dead? that was anticlimactic. like a slightly longer than usual monster of the week. i guess we can't be working under the threat of being sent to hell all the time

[storytelller-drabbles-english]

«Supernatural». Adam Milligan/Michael, is mentioned Sam Winchester/Gabriel and Dean Winchester/Castiel. The Winchester Brothers

I write in Russian and use a translator. If you find any errors, please let me know about it.

___

When Sam called them to the bunker for some celebration, Adam was confused. Michael felt the discord in his feelings inside him and cautiously asked:

"Don't you want to go?".

 "I'm nobody to them," Adam frowned, "they left me in a Cage for ten damn years, they left us!" Milligan's voice was filled with strength, anger from injustice rang in it.

"Life is never fair", Michael chuckled softly, remembering what his brother and the Winchesters had told about his Father. But he had been praying to him for several (tens, if not hundreds) of years, asking — begging — to get them out of the Cage. Then he lost all hope of his salvation and began to ask for salvation only for Adam. But his father didn't hear him…

At first, even after Sam and Lucifer left, Michael did not pay attention to Adam, who behaved very quietly, realizing that he was stuck here forever. But gradually, in order not to go crazy, Adam began to talk to the archangel, who did not answer him, busy with prayers. At first, Michael sat at this activity all the time — after all, what could you do in a Cage in which there was, in fact, nothing but darkness? — but not finding a response, I began to despair. His despair was expressed in the fact that he kicked the walls of the Cage, broke his hands in blood, trying to find a way out, and when, finally, Michael broke down, he began to cry. For the first time in his life, the elder archangel cried in despair. But never—never—did he hurt Adam. The archangel could not harm someone who trusted him, trusted his soul and body.

Michael emerged from the sad memories only when Adam called out to him louder.

 "Michael!"

"What were you talking about?".

 "Shall we go?"

Adam's fingers were drumming on the table, and he didn't seem to notice it. Michael was smiling.

Adam already knew the answer.

*

Flashback:

 "We'll get out of here," Milligan said with conviction, squeezing the archangel's hand in his.

Michael gently ran the finger of his other hand over Adam's palm. He understood that Adam was trying to cheer him up and was very, very grateful for it, but he no longer believed that they would ever get out of here.

Adam leaned against Michael shoulder and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. He himself was on the verge of despair, but he understood that Michael needed his help in order not to go crazy.

"Everything will be fine," Milligan said quietly.

Michael suppressed the urge to laugh. People have always believed in the best, even when the situation was hopeless, like, for example, now. Michael knew that Adam himself could hardly believe in his words, but he allowed himself to believe in them at least for a while. For a brief moment, he felt better.

End Flashback.

*

Flashback:

"If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave at any time," Sam seemed to feel out of place, however, Milligan could not see him: they were talking on the phone.

Adam-Michael listened attentively to him, and then grinned.

 "Don't worry about it."

Mentally finished:

"We will decide for ourselves if we need to leave".

They both agreed with this idea.

End Flashback.

***

When Dean saw them, he froze at first, and then smiled and hugged Adam. He has already begun to forget that he is a Winchester for some part. Milligan slapped his brother on the back several times, smiled and pulled away. They exchanged a few words, and then Sam appeared. The latter also hugged him, and then they walked together to the table. Adam ate almost nothing, the brothers frowned, but tried not to show that it bothered them.

The brothers told about their hunting, and Adam told about their travels around the world with Michael. Sometimes they talked together: Adam recalled some detail, and Michael immediately voiced it, or vice versa, Michael recalled, and Adam repeated it aloud.

About half an hour later, more people came. Dean and Sam immediately introduced them to each other. Mary Winchester, Bobby Singer, Charlie Bradbury, Kevin Tran, Castiel, Jack Kline — Michael already knew that this was his nephew, Lucifer's son, and could not say that he did not have a biased attitude towards him, but when they met and talked a little, the archangel could no longer say that he's pure evil—and a few other people.

Adam had already managed to wind himself up about Mary — he knew that she was the mother of his brothers, but did not know how she would react to him — the fruit of her husband's affair with Kate Milligan. Michael calmed him down, saying that she was a wise woman and probably realized it even then, maybe John himself told her about the affair, or maybe it was the Winchester brothers.

To Adam's surprise, Mary Winchester treated him warmly, gave him a motherly hug and did not show any anger, disappointment, or other feelings that he expected from her. He was even embarrassed because he thought so badly about this woman, and she turned out to be not what he imagined her to be.

When everyone sat down at the table and immediately started talking, Adam felt superfluous. Almost everyone here — if not all — were hunters and, naturally, the conversation first turned to hunting. Then Charlie sat down next to Milligan, as there was an empty seat next to him. Bradbury started a conversation with him and Adam was relieved to pick him up, he felt at ease with this girl. Charlie was very smart (and, of course, she knew that Michael was sitting inside Adam).

They started talking about what happened after they fell into the Cage. Adam listened with genuine interest, as did Michael. They learned that Eve, leviathans, angels who fell from heaven, Darkness visited the earth…

"Awesome...".

Michael smiled, although he was also somewhat shocked by this information, since the Winchesters told about it without details.

"It seems that we have been in a Cage not for ten years, but much more, since so many monsters have visited the earth...".

Adam silently agreed with him.

Fortunately, Charlie had the tact not to be interested in what was with them in the Cage.

Then Cas came up to them and greeted Adam and his brother. Adam remembered that Michael had told about the affections of angels and archangels, and in particular Michael himself. Michael was attached only to his brothers, and especially to his younger brother Lucifer. The Archangel exchanged a few words with Castiel, and then he was distracted by Charlie, who chatted about everything that came into her head.

Michael suddenly remembered how he threw his brother into a Cage, how he begged not to do this, but Michael was an obedient son, he obeyed God's orders, and therefore, when he received a direct order from him to imprison the rebellious archangel in a cage that God created in a special place for him — Hell, he also obeyed and he fulfilled the will of the Lord.

"You know it was right to some extent".

Adam tried to calm the archangel, but he — for the umpteenth time — began to reproach himself for having listened to his father right away, and did not even bother to listen to his brother.

Now Michael fully understood Lucifer's feelings — when he was betrayed by his Father, whom he loved, and by his older brother, whom he also loved very much — and this only made it more bitter.

"Answer Charlie," Milligan interrupted his train of thought.

Michael stared at the girl in disbelief, waiting for some kind of answer from him. Carried away by his thoughts, he did not notice that he was asked something.

"And what was the question?", he cautiously asked Adam.

"Did you have time to check out "Star Wars" and did you like them? It seems like she was talking so fast that this is the only thing I managed to remember. I think she was talking about her favorite characters from these films," Adam smiled tightly.

"Mmm... no, I haven't watched "Star Wars" yet," the elder archangel smiled.

Bradbury stared at Adam in utter amazement.

"You have to see them! These are cult films!" She exclaimed with conviction.

Michael just nodded his head, ignoring most of what Charlie said next, as she began to paint all the charms of these films.

 "Haven't you both watched them?" Charlie asked again.

Adam's eyes flashed blue and he answered:

"I didn't watch, because I simply had no time, I studied in medical school," the memories made Adam experience a dull longing for his mother, "and Michael was too busy, so yes, we both didn't watch them," Milligan smiled only with the corners of his lips.

Michael allowed only two beings in his life to call himself "Michael"— Lucifer and Adam. To everyone else, he was either Mikhail or the Leader of the Heavenly Host.

Charlie continued to chatter, but neither Michael nor Adam paid any more attention to her.

After the holiday, when everyone started to disperse, Adam asked a question:

 "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere far away", was the laconic answer.

Dean and Sam finally invited them to come whenever they wanted. Adam-Michael agreed and moved quickly until they started talking about Adam being their brother, they shouldn't have left him in a Cage and blah blah blah…

Adam knew it himself.

On the one hand, it was a shame that the brothers did not pull him out of the Cage.

On the other hand, at first they did not know that he was still alive and thought that their brother had gone to Heaven.

"You're trying to justify them".

Adam saw no point in denying it.

"Yes."

They ended up in one of the archangel's houses, of which he had many all over the world.

 "I need a drink, but I won't," Milligan muttered, pouring himself some juice and gulping it down.

Michael once told him that drinking alcohol brings the archangel closer to falling. And it does not matter who drinks it — the archangel himself or the person in whose body he moved (however, the archangels did not leave the souls of people in their bodies, they immediately sent them to Heaven).

Michael smiled. He knew that Adam really cared about him and it warmed his heart and soul pleasantly. But gloomy thoughts overcame him again. Him father never did such a thing, for the most part, he didn't care about his creations, how they would live or adapt to life. And he didn't care about the older children, although the Lord claimed that they were his most beloved sons, not counting the people he also considered his children (but the archangels knew that the Lord was lying about loving them all equally and his most beloved son of them was Lucifer).

But Michael continued to love his father and was faithful to him until he found out that none of them was really his favorite, that their whole life was just a game of the Lord and universes with such children he could have hundreds of thousands. Michael had seen only one so far and knew about the existence of the second one.

At that moment, Michael was disappointed in his faith, in his Father, whom he could not even call a Father now.

He played with them over and over again, forced them to throw Lucifer into the Cage, who was right in something (but not in everything, of course; after meeting Adam, the Archangel could not say with certainty that all people are bad and deserve death, this boy forced him to reconsider his priorities).

 "Michael?" Milligan couldn't hear the archangel's thoughts, he closed himself off from him. Adam tried to reach Michael, but he seemed to have built an invisible impenetrable wall around himself and it was impossible to reach him. But Adam wouldn't be Adam if he tried to call him just once. They had no one in the Cage but each other, and no matter how desperate one of them was, the other always supported him, regardless of whether it was related to the past or what was happening right at that moment.

 "Talk to me," pause, "please," Adam didn't even know if the Archangel was listening to him, but kept trying, "Michael, please, talk to me, please..." he was ready to beg, just so Michael wouldn't close himself off from him, wouldn't be left alone with his pain.

"He lied to me", bitterness was heard in the voice of the archangel. He appeared in Adam's mind, looking like his young father, but his hair was very disheveled, and something seemed to break inside. Adam felt something crackling inside him.

He was not ready to see Michael so broken.

"He lied to me," Michael repeated, still unable to believe in the betrayal of his beloved father, "he lied to me all this time… I was ready to do anything for him, but... I'm not even the only Michael!..", he covered his eyes with his hands and shook his head. "Nobody needs me… All my brothers are dead, and I... I'm left alone. I couldn't protect them, I'm good for nothing but war, I...", there wasn't enough air and Michael began to suffocate.

Adam took a few steps towards him and put his hands on his, gently stroking.

"Hey," he said softly, "it's not like that," Milligan exhaled: it was much harder to speak than expected. They had not discussed this before: Michael was not one of those who likes to vividly express their feelings, emotions and experiences, so they had not even raised this topic since the Winchesters told them about the betrayal of God.

Michael didn't seem to hear him.

 "I need you".

The Archangel froze, taking his hands away from his face, which Milligan never let go, and squinting incredulously at Adam, but beginning to calm down slowly. Then he smiled, thinking that, judging by what Dean and Sam were saying, saying these words to those they love is family.

"I need you," Adam repeated, "and you will never be alone," "as long as I'm with you" did not escape from his lips, but Michael understood him without words.

Adam was intently peering into Michael's face, trying to predict his next actions, when he suddenly hugged Milligan tightly.

"Thank you...", Michael nuzzled Adam's shoulder, hugging him harder.

They don't care about God, Heaven, Hell and Winchesters — as long as they have each other, they will never be alone.

[le-amewzing]

Without Me, You’re Nothing

An old oneshot, done for a forum exchange.

Fic: "Without Me, You're Nothing" [FFN] [AO3]

Pairings/Characters: Castiel/Dean Winchester, with cameos from Sam Winchester & Bobby Singer

Rating: light T

Words: ~1,820

Additional info: romance, slash, angst, AU fic, 3rd person POV

Summary: Cass is no longer God. But there are other ways to be a god.

      Cass came back to his senses, thanks to Dean.

      It took a lot of effort and almost cost him his life, but Cass came back. Be it leviathans, demons, or something far worse…

      The angel has some confidence that he will always right things if he has Dean there to scold him. Dean is like his check and balance. Cass goes off the reservation, Dean yells him back to his senses. Cass turns evil, Dean's there holding out a hand to bring him back up from his fall.

      Sometimes Cass muses that he needs Dean. It's in a different way from needing family or friends. He's certain it's different from the way Dean needs water or burgers or pie. But the bottom line is that he needs Dean.

      He takes to sticking around the boys. It's better than the alternative, because angels, as the boys would say, are getting "ganked" left and right by leviathans.

      Cass likes sitting in the backseat, behind Sam. That way, he gets the best view, the widest view of Dean. He can keep Dean in sight, and Dean can keep him in sight.

      Dean says nothing. Sam says nothing, either, but he's lost in his own thoughts, like usual. It probably has to do with Lucifer pestering him, and for that Cass is sorry. He's not quite sure how to fix that, not yet.

      While the three of them say nothing in a car traveling on the lookout for leviathans and other things that go bump in the night, Cass rests his wings and continues his view.

      Every now and then, Dean's eyes shift to the rearview mirror. They catch Cass' every now and then.

      Cass doesn't blame him. He knows Dean's looking for any change, any sign that there is some part of the angel that Dean didn't get through to…but it's all right. Cass is here, all of him.

      All of him, for Dean.

      It's a good thing, too.

      Out in California, they take care of a kirin herd. Far worse than any simple imagined unicorn, the kirins have been running people through with their horns as part of their mating ritual.

      "I thought they were supposed to be good luck," Sam remarks.

      "In both Chinese and Japanese mythology, maybe," Dean says. "But we're far from the islands, and I don't see how lucky it is, getting impaled so some bastard can get laid."

      Even though Dean talks all high and mighty, he still ends up being one of the victims. Then Sam cuts off a kirin's horn and uses it to kill the herd, and they're just left with a dying Dean.

      The boys don't even need to say a word. Castiel heals Dean without a second thought. There, good as new.

      "Thanks, Cass," Dean says with a grateful smile. He means it. "Let's hope you don't have to do that again anytime soon."

      The angel shrugs. Isn't that what he's here for?

      As it turns out…that is exactly what he's here for. It's not as though the Winchesters plan on it, but Dean and Sam get roughed up on more than one occasion, Dean more so. Occasionally Cass wonders what they did before angels. …oh, right, they made deals.

      But kirins, cluricauns, nagas—all kinds of things still bubble up to the surface while the leviathans are on the loose. And, when all kinds of things bubble up to the surface, Dean gets hurt. A lot.

      With every healing session, Castiel frowns more and more. He may not be God anymore, but he begins to realize that he can't quit being a god around Dean. Maybe, just maybe, it's not only that he needs Dean.

      Maybe Dean needs him, too. (At least, to live.)

      Uriel once said that humanity was God's favorite. Castiel agrees. In that way, he would've made a good God. Humanity is (or perhaps just a few humans in particular are) his favorite.

      Time passes, and the Winchesters are on their never-ending crusade. Along the way, Cass makes good use of his time, and he no longer goes for walks while they sleep.

      Each and every night, Cass looks Dean over. Each night, he selects one old injury—the ones sustained after he raised Dean from Hell, because Dean's had the crap beaten out of him since then—and heals it.

      The insides Zachariah played with? Brand-new.

      The scars other hunters left him with guns and knives? Invisible (but really gone).

      The slices left behind when the boys need their own blood for some spell? Sewn up.

      Cass wonders what Dean would think if he knew Cass was exercising such control over him.

      Frankly, Cass doesn't care. Dean's alive and well and kicking, and that puts his mind at ease.

      "Dude—you got less sleep than I did, and I was the one tied up and waiting for you," Sam tells his big brother after a narrow escape from leviathans.

      Dean grins. Cass enjoys seeing that grin. "I don't know what to tell you, Sammy. But it's great. It's like—it's like I slept on a bed of feathers—" He pauses, glances in the mirror at Cass. "No offense."

      The angel imperceptibly smiles. "None taken."

      "Anyway," he continues, coming back to his brother, "it's like I had the best night's sleep of my life. I feel empowered, man. Invigorated." He pumps his fist as if that will prove something.

      "Okay, Superman, so you got your extra dose of the sun this morning," Sam says and yawns. "But quiet now, okay? I'm gonna close my eyes for a bit."

      "You do that." Dean turns up the music. Led Zeppelin blares from the speakers.

      Sam sighs, but he falls asleep anyway. He's used to this by now.

      The more Cass heals, the better Dean feels.

      One night, off the road so the boys can sleep, Dean's too excited to close his eyes. He gets out of the car and downs a bottle of water. Cass joins him.

      "Can't sleep?" Dean jokes.

      "I shut my eyes from time to time, collect my thoughts," Castiel replies.

      "I'm beginning to think that's what I'll do."

      Cass doesn't frown, but he doesn't smile either. "That's impossible. I am an angel, Dean. You are a mortal. You need sleep."

      Dean scratches his head. "Yeah… About that…I kind of feel like I can't."

      Lovely. Perhaps Cass has healed a little too much?

      "Honestly, I feel great. I've never felt so fit before. I… I think I'm in even better shape to be a hunter these days." He looks at Castiel, waiting for a comment.

      "That doesn't mean you shouldn't take it easy," Castiel warns.

      Dean snorts and rests an arm on Cass' shoulder. "Cass, when have I ever taken it easy?"

      Dean takes it too easy.

      In a scenario about which Cass simply can't shake the feeling was meant to happen with Bobby in the starring role, Dean and Sam escape SucroCorp, with Dick Roman hot on their heels. But Dick Roman's an excellent shot, and the next thing Cass knows, he, Sam, and Bobby are riding with a body with an extra hole in its head.

      Sam's yelling. Bobby's asking what the hell's going on.

      Dean's saying nothing.

      And Cass? Cass is panicking.

      He summons a lot of his power—more than he's done as of late—and gets to work. He extracts the bullet. He mends Dean's brain. He rebuilds Dean's skull. He even cleans up the blood.

      Once they're far enough away, Bobby pulls over, and it's a happy reunion for everyone.

      Well, almost everyone.

      Dean would like to rush in through the front doors to kill Dick Roman. But that's not going to happen, because they still don't have the tools to kill the head leviathan.

      "Well, we'll figure it out along the way," he snaps when they're at Bobby's home.

      Sam and Bobby look between him and Cass. Cass figures that if it weren't Bobby's home, they'd both give them the room.

      But Dean leaves first. He heads outside, leaving Castiel to clench and unclench his fists by his sides in silence until the eyes on him become unbearable and he chases after his favorite mortal.

      Outside, Cass finds Dean rearranging the armory in the trunk. He looks raring to go. "This is madness, Dean."

      "No, what's madness is that I can't sit still while those freakin' monsters infect the country and turn us all into lunchmeat!" He pauses, catches his breath. He glares at Cass. "He put a frickin' bullet in my head, Cass!"

      "You cannot do the same."

      "And why not?"

      Cass steps forward, getting in Dean's face. Maybe it's a side-effect of wearing Jimmy's body for all these years, but Cass' heart is pounding wildly in his ears. Can Dean hear it, too? "You're not invincible."

      "Well, no, but I feel—"

      "I saved you the other night, from almost dying. And I'm to blame for your energy returning to you. I've been healing you. Every little thing wrong with you, I've been fixing."

      Dean purses his lips. He looks away. "Oh. Thanks."

      "I do not want thanks, Dean. I heal you because I want to. But I did not heal you to lose you. You saved me, Dean. Many times. May I save you this time?"

      The older Winchester looks back at him. It's a familiar sight. They've been here so many times before, staring but never admitting to anything.

      Maybe what Cass just said… Maybe that's as close as they ever got to admitting anything?

      "I don't need you to protect me."

      Cass waits.

      Dean reddens and turns away, scoffing. "I mean, for cryin' out loud, Cass! Me, protected? I'm not some chick waiting for a prince." He shakes his head. "You're the princess."

      Cass smiles. It's Dean's way of giving up, giving in (and admitting a little something, too).

      Castiel cannot force Dean Winchester to give up hunting. That would be tantamount to changing Dean, and Cass doesn't want to do that. Dean, after all, is his favorite mortal.

      But Cass will continue to heal him so long as Dean becomes more cautious. Cass will wait until Dean cools off after every close call, and he will let Dean sleep—be it in his seat or in a bed or with his head resting in Cass' lap—and he will heal Dean. And, every morning, Dean will wake up with a tan trench coat spread over him like a blanket or a shield.

      Castiel will do his best so that the "big game" is left to him, or so Dean at least will always fight alongside Cass. That's the best the angel can do, so that he doesn't lose Dean. His favorite mortal—he needs him, and Dean needs Cass. Maybe not like a god needs worshippers or a worshipper needs his god.

      (But maybe exactly like a princess needs her prince and vice versa…)

Wow… Apparently when I write from Cass' POV, the fic runs away from me like salt repelling a demon… O.o So…yeah. I was rather interested in exploring Cass' God-complex, and I kind of wish he'd been in s7 more… :L Hell, I kinda wish he'd just be around more and the writers would admit they ship Destiel, too. XP Anyway… Have some Destiel feels, lil' sis. ;P Angsty enough? Note: Kirins are a unicorn-like creature from Chinese and Japanese mythology, cluricauns are like the liquor-addicted versions of leprechauns, and nagas are serpents from Hindu mythos, I believe (has SPN used them before? I don't recall at this moment, whoops). Lastly: The title is a twist on Placebo's song "Without You, I'm Nothing," featuring David Bowie. Good song. -w-

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

2022 note: *lol* Mannnnn, my closing A/N just has me going. *eyes* Anywho! A few fixes and some word swaps, but this 2014 fic is p much intact in its original form, and I like that. I forgot about the AU twist included here, but it makes perfect sense, giving the boys having Cass along for the ride. AHHHH, sometimes I feel the urge to do a season or series rewrite for some fandoms…but where would I ever find the time or energy? *lol* (Translation: My old A/N was so right—s7 deffo did not have enough Castiel. ;w;)

[diazevan]

At the hospital, Buck crumbles. His family catch him. 

4x14 Speculation 

Buck moves through the automatic doors leading into the emergency room.

Sure, his legs are working, but that doesn’t take much thought. The adrenaline is rushing through his veins, creeping up his spine, keeping him on his feet. The rest is muscle memory.

The medical staff didn’t pay him any thought as they whisked Eddie away, barking orders to one another.

Buck stops. He can’t see.

Everything is white. The lights are too bright.

He can’t hear. There’s nothing but tinnitus. Then, the ring of the bullet replays again, the sickening tear as it ripped through Eddie’s shoulder.

Buck closes his eyes, inhales a breath, digging his nails into his palm.

He can taste it.

Eddie’s blood.

The splatter had been almost cinematic, maybe even cliché, as it coated Buck’s face and shirt.

Straight out of a fucking action movie.

Blinding him, scaring him, make him face the situation straight on.

It isn’t fiction. Buck wishes it was.

But Eddie bled out. Eddie might die.

Buck retches.

His heart pounds, maybe he’s dying, but hey,  at least he would be closer to wherever Eddie’s mind has drifted.

He hears voices. He doesn’t have the energy to pull them apart, identify who is who.

They’re calling his name.

The floor beneath him gives away.

He’s falling.

Then impossibly, there’s hands, many sets of hands grabbing at his arms, his hips, his torso, his chest, guiding him onto his knees.

He strains his eyes, desperate to see. 

A face hovers in front of him.

Bobby.

It’s Bobby, down on his knees, hands firmly pressed around Buck’s shoulders. Panic swims in his mentor’s eyes, his lips are moving, but the words distort.

Buck shakes his head.

Voices start to become clear.

“—Shock,” That’s Hen, panic laced in her tone, “He’s in shock.”

“Buckaroo,” Chimney attempts a soothing voice, but the treble is clear, “Can you hear us?”

Buck can’t nod. He can’t move.

Hen speaks again, “Pulse is rapid.”

Athena’s voice joins the mix, her tone gentle, “Buck, baby,” Her hand rests on his knee, “We’re here.”

Bobby combs his hand through Buck’s hair, “Buck, you need to breathe.”

He’s holding his breath. He didn’t realize.

Buck inhales, and fuck, it hurts, it hurts like hell.

It’s harsh; he hates it and wants nothing more than to hold it again.

But he can’t.

Bobby rests his hand on the nape of Buck’s neck, “You got it, kid.”

“Bobby—” Buck manages, it’s small, broken, pitiful. He yearns, balling his hands around Bobby’s shirt, “Bobby—” He cries again, doubling over, facing falling between the groove of Bobby’s collarbone and neck.

“Hey, hey,” Bobby supports the sudden weight, “I’ve got you.”

Somebody presses a kiss in Buck’s hair. He knows it’s Athena.

Buck drops, twisting off his knees, practically collapsing into Bobby’s hold. He clings to him as a child would to a parent, and he isn’t ashamed. Not even for a moment.

Bobby never minds. He holds Buck like his own.

Buck sprawls his legs across the laminate floor, his breaths are shallow, and his gaze locks onto the feet of a plastic chair.

“Hang in there, kid,” Bobby chokes, trembling hand still traveling through Buck’s hair, “We’ve got you.”

Buck finds his voice, “Eddie—” He freaks, “Eddie.”

“He’s in good hands, Buck,” Chimney tells him, hand on his shoulder, “The best.”

“Froze,” Buck sobs, “Couldn’t move.”

Hen asks, “What?”

“Too quick,” He stammers, “I didn’t move.”

“We’re not doing that, Buckaroo,” Athena is gentle but stern, “Not your fault.”

Buck jerks, closing his eyes, aware of the blood on his hands, on his face, his shirt, and he wants out, “Blood.”

Silence.

Then Athena speaks, “Okay, I’ll be back,” She knows what’s wrong; she always does; she’s on her feet, heading for the reception desk.

Buck settles in Bobby’s grasp, working on his breathing.

He can hear mummers from his family and the distant whispers of bystanders trying to piece together what might have happened.

“Buck,” Bobby breathes, “Do you think you can stand?”

“I—” Buck swallows - he doesn’t want to get up, “I can.”

Everybody’s hands are on him again as Bobby grips his forearms to lift him onto his feet. He sways, but Bobby’s got him, “Knew you could do it.”

Athena steps close, handheld out, “Come with me, Buckaroo,” She sung calmly, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Buck nods and then turns to Bobby, “Will—”

Bobby promises, “We’re gonna check up on Eddie, and then I’ll be right with you.”

“Thank you,” Buck takes Athena’s hand; despite the stained blood, she doesn’t even flinch as she locks her fingers around his.

Athena leads him down the corridor and into the elevator, never letting go of his hand.

Upon exit, a nurse meets with them, holding a towel and some clothes – “From lost and found,” She explains.

Buck didn’t catch her name; he only hears some of what is said.

The next door they go through leads into a shower room.

“Here we go,” Athena helps him to sit on a plastic chair that is in the corner of the room; it squeaks at the sudden weight; Athena mutters about something budge cuts before moving towards the sink.

Athena takes a cloth, running it under the faucet; she rings it out a little.

Buck deflates, slouching in the seat, his leg bouncing.

He feels like a kid. A sick one that needs caring for, the caregiver was usually Maddie, but sometimes Athena or Bobby. He’d welcome any one of them.

Athena gently traces the cloth of Buck’s face, but her chin trembles, eyes filling with tears.

The blood isn’t just blood; it’s Eddie’s blood.

Buck wants to reassure her, but instead, he cries, “So much.”

She stops to nudge his chin up, so their eyes met, “What?”

“He lost so much,” Buck chokes, “Blood – too much.”

She looks heaven forward, then kneels, hands on Buck’s cheeks, “I know you’re scared.”

“I thought he was dead,” The sob tears through him, “He wasn’t moving; he was right in front of me, Athena, and I couldn’t help—”

“He’s here,” Athena tells him, “He’s alive, and you were there; that’s all he needed.” She wipes the cloth over his forehead gently.

“Can I tell you something?” He asks, “That you can’t tell them.”

“Of course.”

His voice breaks, “I almost got hit.”

Athena hisses, pulling back the cloth, “What?”

“Eddie was falling, and I couldn’t move,” He stumbles over his words, “I was the next clearest target.” He shakes his head, “I could see Eddie, he was on the ground, but his eyes were on me; he was trying to get me to move.”

Athena sits on her heels; she takes his hand.

“I couldn’t,” He blinks away tears, “Then the captain he pushed me down.”

She nods.

“If he hadn’t, I’d be dead.”

“Well then,” Athena smiles, “He’s my new favorite person.”

Buck frowns, “Why?”

She rests her hand on his cheek, “He saved you.”

He yelps, “I never freeze.”

“Eddie isn’t a patient that you were assigned to,” She speaks softly, “He’s somebody you love.” She cups his hands, she offers him a soft smile, “You weren’t even in your uniform, sweetheart; Firefighter Buckley didn’t freeze, Buck did. A very brave young man who just watched his best friend get shot.”

Buck croaks, “I did.”

Athena gently grips his chin, making sure he is listening, “Don’t you forget that.”

And despite everything, Buck doesn’t.

[ravenadottir]

Heyyy , first things first, I MISSED YOU. This is my first time asking a question in , since I am a new fan of ur work ( i think I found ourt about ur work a month back?) Ever since I have been reading ur works and AH u are so amazing ! Ever imagines/ question u do makes me blush so much because make it look SO realistic.KUDOS on that :D,ok Ques- How would each LI from season 2 react to their GF ( mc's) death? would anyone move on ? PS ILY<3 and please update : too much to calculate, no pressure

aw, thank you so much! it means a lot to hear that 💚

but damn, that ask took a turn lol

How would each LI from season 2 react to their GF's death? would anyone move on ?

see, abolut moving on, i think all of them would eventually move on and date other people, so i'm focusing on what they would do right after.

this time i'm dividing by how they would deal with it:

bobby, gary. being alone after tasting what life could've been it's probably the worst part of it, because both had issues with relationships before her. bobby couldn't trust anyone, gary was never given a chance. coming with terms with it it's probably the worst and longest part of their process, making them angrier than they've ever been. it's a mix of frustration and sadness that make them do everything on auto-pilot for a long time.

lucas, marisol. it took them everything to trust someone and start a relationship, to let go of their own hold ups and she was the person that trusted them enough to wait for that to happen. not everyone would have that patience and they know that. lucas would be devastated for a really long time, and bitter about losing her. suffice to say it would change him as a person, enough he would stay away from most things he likes. marisol doesn't know what to do when it happens. for the first time in her life she doesn't have the answers and will needs lots of support from her friends.

carl, kassam. both would dive deep in their respective work and try not to talk about it, not letting themselves ever going there because it hurts so much. while carl can't even go in the bedroom they shared, kassam can't even stay in the place they lived with each other. he'll use any excuse to travel and play because he would be so angry about losing her.

henrik, ibrahim. more than anyone they need support of their families and friends when it happens. ibrahim would need people around him all the time, especially when going home. noah wouldn't leave the house until rahim was ready to go back to his life. henrik would travel everywhere he could, in his car, with very few things. isolating himself somewhere hidden would definitely be the best for him.

elisa, lottie. they would try to work on their respective fields but end up realizing they need time to process. elisa would pretend she's ok but one day she catches herself crying over something very small. same goes for lottie. they want to put a brave face on but it doesn't last long and they have to admit they need more time, and help for that matter, whether from family or friends. i can also see them going off on someone online if that person criticized mc in any way, to the point of not even thinking before writing back.

hannah, noah. they would write. a lot. as a way of coping. it's the only way they would be able to accept it, i know because that's what i did. writing about grief is the only thing that would make them get up from bed, and even then it would take a while for them to actually realize that.

priya. anger and relunctance to let go because she avoided telling mc how she felt for so long, she might feel guilty about the time wasted that could've been shared together. priya is the type of person that isolates herself from the world somewhere far. it's not easy to just go back to your life and process what happened on top of that. she knows that, and she's gone on the first opportunity she gets.

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

[teaespensonawards]

2022 TEA Nominations Open!

It’s 2022 T.E.A. Nomination time!

Not sure where the last year has gone, but the time has come once again! It’s time let us know which fics and artwork you enjoyed (and that helped you survive) over the past 12 months. Go back, re-live the joy, and tell us which of those fan creations you want to see on the 2022 T.E.A. ballot!

Nominations begin January 2, 2022 Nominations are due by January 23, 2022, 11:59 pm (CST)

Just in case you need a refresher on T.E.A. Rules, there’s a link to them

Here is the Submit Page, freshly cracked open, where you can send in your nominations. Don’t forget to include the work’s title and its creator when nominating fic and art! And please be sure you have the creator correct. It would also be super helpful if you would make sure that the works you nominate are eligible, as the mod cannot verify each and every one of hundreds of nomination. 

Keep in mind that during the nominations phase, you can submit as many nominations as you like. You’re not limited to one nomination per category. Nominate out the wazoo, if you feel like it! And if you forget something, you can come back and nominate more creations all the way up to the due date.

Hit up our Ask Box if you have any questions!

((Apparently tumblr is having issues with anything showing up in tags. What a shock. At this point, please just reblog to help your fellow Rumbellers see this post, I don’t know. *sigh*))

And now, the categories for the 2022 T.E.A.s! Below is the list you’ll copy and paste into the blank on the Submit Page to send in. Please click through the read-more here to see the full list of categories for which you can nominate fandom creations for this year. Look out below!

(Note: we are aware that some categories might not apply this year, such as events that didn’t take place in 2021. That’s okay. Just skip them where needed.)

2022 NOMINATION CATEGORIES

FLUFF

Family

Comfort

Fix-It

Reunion

Best Child Fic (fluffy fic centered on children in the Rumbelle family)

SMUT

Kink

Romance

Comedy

Threesome

Best First Time

Best Afterlife Smut

PWP

BDSM

ANGST

Why?

Death

Oops

Hurts so good

ROMANCE

Best Date (Overall)

Best Hamburger Date

Best Courtship

Best First Meeting

Best RomCom

Best Bathing Scene

GENERAL AWARDS

Best One-Shot

Best Drabble

Best Post-Ep Fic

Best Comedy Fic

Best Movie AU

Best Book AU

Best TV Show AU

Best AU Inspired By Other Media (including but not restricted to video games, musicals/plays, and graphic novels)

Best Historical AU

Best AU

Best AU!OUAT

Best Series

Best Novel Length Fic (does not have to be finished, but must be a minimum of 40k words to qualify)

Best Holiday Fic

Best Remix

Best Crossover Fic

Best Dark Castle

Best Storybrooke

Best Travel (taking place outside of Storybrooke or Dark Castle)

Best “Missing Years” Fic (taking place between Gideon’s birthday party and That Thing that happened in ‘Beauty’)

Best Argument (Angst)

Best Argument (Fluff)

SPECIAL CATEGORIES

Best Golden Lace

Best Woven Lace

Best Woven Beauty

Best Rumbelle Poly Ship (ex: Golden Swan Beauty, Mad Golden Beauty)

Best Background Swanfire

Best Side Pairing

Best Afterlife Fic

Best Crack!Fic

Best Drama

Best Supernatural

Best Sci-Fi

Best Horror

Best Creature AU

Best Unexpected Twist

Best Dark One Lore Fic

Best Bobby Squared (a fic featuring more than one Bobby character, including multiple instances of Gold and/or Rumple)

Forgotten Gem (a fic completed more than three (3) years ago, that you feel has been overlooked)

Best Pandemic/Quarantine Fic

Best Trope

Best Trend

Best Meta

Best Prompter

EVENTS

(All fics in these categories are limited to 2020 events only.)

Rumbelle Secret Santa

Rumbelle Christmas in July

Rumbelle Summer Gift Exchange

Fluffapalooza

Monthly Rumbelle (Non-smut)

Monthly Rumbelle (Smut)

Rumbelle is Hope

Rumbelle Monsterfuckers Ball

Rumbelle Big Bang

CHARACTER AWARDS

Best Belle

Best Dark One!Belle

Best AU Belle

Best Lacey

Best Detective Weaver

Best Dark One

Best Mr. Gold

Best AU!Gold/Rumple

Best Spinner!Rumple

Best Woobie!Rum

Best Wish!Rumple

Best Baelfire/Neal

Best Gideon

Best OC Rumbelle Child

Best (Worst) Villain

Best BFF/wingman

ART

Best Fan Art

Best Cover Art

Best Graphic Art (GIFs)

Best Graphic Art (Still Images)

Best AU in Art (encompassing traditional art, gif sets, still photo sets, etc.)

Best Fluff Art

Best Angsty Art

Best Smutty Art

Best Comic/Graphic Novel

Best Dark One Form

Best Use of Color

Best Video

Best Artist

Best New Artist

- BEST AUTHOR

- BEST NEW AUTHOR

- BEST RUMBELLE FIC

- BEST ANYELLE FIC

- BEST ANYEM FIC

- Rumbelle Fandom Lifetime Achievement Award Awarded to a person who has done something spectacular in the fandom. Either by making people feel welcome, organizing events, or simply embodying the Rumbelle fandom as a whole.

- Newbie Spotlight This award goes to people who began contributing to the Rumbelle fandom since the last T.E.A.s. Those eligible include new writers, artists, gif-makers, etc. Anyone who creates content for the fandom. This category is not voted upon - every newbie whose name is put forth is added to the Spotlight list so that older members of the fandom can get to know them and their work!

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[cherrycocaineee]

13. Dean Winchester - Confession

    Bobby was sitting at his desk flipping through the millions of dusty, old, torn books he had collected over the years when I came down the stairs, carrying my purse along my shoulder. The sound of my small feet thumping against his creaky wooden floors caused him to look at me. He was already drinking scotch this early in the morning and the tired, purple bags under his eyes proved that he had a restless night just like usual. I smiled sympathetically at him as I approached, getting a large whiff of the liquor he was pouring down his throat. I could hardly count the number of times I’ve warned him and the boys about drinking so much, yet they never listened. Though I didn’t really expect them to, considering all of the things they’ve seen in their lifetime.

  “Where are you off to?” He asked, pouring himself another glass of scotch.

 “We’re low on groceries,” I hummed, “so I’m going down to the market to pick some stuff up. I’ll make breakfast when I come back, okay?”

   “I’ll hold ya to that. You need any money?”

 I shook my head and patted the side of my purse before leaving for the market. It wasn’t a long trip, it was literally a block from where Bobby lived. When I arrived at the small, yet vibrant place, I inhaled the sweet scent of freshly picked produce and other aromas. Inside I pushed the basket around and collected everything we needed for the house: fresh produce, meats, bread, eggs, and much more. Considering how much fast food I use while travelling with the boys, I was happy to find a place that sold freshly grown fruits and vegetables, and freshly cut chops of meat, and more. I spent an hour in total at the market before paying for my groceries and heading back to the house.

  While carrying all of the paper bags inside, I could hear talking going on inside. I shook it off as Bobby being on the phone and continued.

  “Bobby, I’m home,” I called, “I’m about to start breakfast, so why don’t you trade that scotch in for a cup of coffee.”

  The voices from the other room quieted down just as I placed the groceries on the kitchen table. I walked out of the kitchen and saw Bobby standing in the middle of the room with none other than Dean and Sam. My eyes widened at the sight of them. The last time I saw Sam was when he jumped into the cage, holding Lucifer in and knocking Michael inside too. And Dean, well, I hadn’t seen him since he went to live with Lisa and Ben. It had hurt a lot when he left too, not wanting to stay with Bobby. Not wanting to stay with me. But I didn’t make a big deal about it despite being madly in love with him. Though I’d never tell him that since he was in love with Lisa.

  “Hey, Persephone,” Sam and Dean said simultaneously, making my eyes water.

  “Hey,” I whispered, a smile forming on my face.

  I walked over to them and embraced them both, feeling their large, muscular arms wrap around my thin frame as they held me close. As I pulled away from the hug, Lisa popped her head around the corner. My chest was tightening as I saw Dean walk over to her. They went off to speak to one another, I cleared my throat and turned my attention to Sam.

  “When did you get back from hell?” I asked.

  From the look on his face and the way he was rubbing the back of his neck with his rough hands, I knew there was something he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell me. Or at least the truth anyway. But he decided that he’d tell me in the end.

 “A year, actually,” he muttered.

  My forest green eyes widened at his words. I spent the next fifteen minutes tearing a new one into both Sam and Bobby, who had been hiding this from me the entire year, then returned to the kitchen to cook breakfast. There was a mix of frustration, betrayal, and other emotions mixing up inside of me as I started scrambling the eggs and cooking the sausage and bacon. Quiet sizzling could be heard throughout the kitchen, masking the sound of my humming while I cooked. As I was moving on to the coffee, I heard footsteps coming from behind me so I swirled around to see Dean walking in. He didn’t look too happy either.

  “Did you just find out that Sam’s been back for a year too?” I questioned, throwing away the old coffee grounds into the trash.

 “Well yes,” he stated, “but that’s not while I’m upset.”

  I had started plating the food by then, starting off with Ben’s since he was here and was probably hungry.

  “What’s going on?”

  I set a cup of coffee down in front of him.

  “Sam needs my help hunting a Djinn,” he answered, “and I’m worried because the things might come after Lisa and Ben.”

  Honestly, I should have seen that coming. Sam, despite being back from hell, wouldn’t have asked Dean for help if it wasn’t life or death. It made me wonder if they’d only come to drop off Dean's family or to ask me to help. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t jealous of Lisa, in fact, I was happy for her and Dean. It just hurt every time I saw them together.

  “So that’s why you brought them to Bobby’s,” I whispered, buttering some fresh French bread, “so we could watch them while you guys hunted the Djinn?”

  “Well actually,” Dean said, placing his cup on the table, “just for Bobby to watch them. You’re coming with us right?”

  A small, sad smile appeared on my face as I lifted up Bobby’s plate while shaking my head.

 “I don’t hunt anymore, Dean. When Sam jumped into that cage and you left to go live with Lisa and Ben, the two of you left me behind. So I just stopped hunting. Now I just clean up and cook while studying.”

  “Studying?”

  “I started going back to school. Granted it’s online but I figured I might as well get an education.”

  It was silent between us, so I just walked away and headed towards Bobby with his breakfast. He was sitting at his desk once again when I arrived and graciously welcomed the warm food. I went back into the kitchen, where Dean was still sitting, and picked up the plate for Ben then headed upstairs to give it to him.

  Lisa was unpacking their overnight bags when I reached the room they were staying in. Ben was sitting on the bed, playing some video game on his gaming device. Tapping on the door, I caught their attention and smiled welcomingly.

  “Hey,” I said, “I’m Persephone, a friend of Sam and Dean’s. I made your son some breakfast if he’d like to eat.”

  A smile appeared on her face in return, “thank you, Persephone. I’m Lisa and this is Ben.”

  I didn’t tell her that I already knew her name, that would be rude. Instead, I shook her hand and placed Ben’s food down on one of the nightstands. He thanked me and started shoveling food inside his mouth fast. It reminded me of how Dean would eat when he was in a rush. Swallowing the forming lump inside my throat, I left the two of them to finish unpacking. Halfway down the stairs, I froze and gripped the railing tight. My heart felt like it was racing, tears were streaming down my cheek as I tried to collect myself. Wiping away the unwanted water leaks, I sighed softly and went downstairs. Sam and Dean were getting ready to leave when I made it to the main room. The two Winchester brother’s faced me when I entered.

  “You sure you don’t want to come, Perse?” Sam inquired.

 I held up my hands and giggled, “no thanks. You guys be safe.”

  I hugged them tightly, almost relaxing when I felt the safety of their embrace. They said a final goodbye to Bobby and I then left for wherever it was they were going to hunt this monster. Bobby returned to his breakfast and I went into the kitchen to pack up the leftovers and clean up. Once the kitchen was tidied up, I headed back upstairs to my room to get some reading done. I had some homework assignments that were in desperate need of doing before midnight tomorrow and I liked to stay ahead of the clock.

  Hours and hours passed before I finally passed out while reading my book. No dreams occupied my slumber while I napped, however, I was eventually awakened by the sound of someone knocking on my door. Stirring around in my covers, both eyes pried themselves open and stared at the dimly lit ceiling before looking to my right and seeing it was well past three o’clock in the morning. Another knock echoed throughout the room and I finally dragged myself out of the comforting quilt and onto the assaulting, cold floor. I rubbed my eyes to wipe the sleep away and pulled the door open. Lisa was standing on the other side, holding a plate in her hand.

  “Bobby said that you were up here studying, and you missed dinner,” she said, “did I wake you?”

 “Yeah,” I groggily whispered, “but it’s okay.”

  I took the plate from her and saw that she had cooked some chicken noodle soup. It smelled great, reminding me of my early years in life when I still lived with my mom. She followed me inside of the room as I sat criss crossed on my bed with the soup in hand, smelling the melted butter on the toast. My eyes met the clock once again and was astonished to see that I had slept and studied for such a long time. It felt like only seconds ago that it was morning and I had just finished cooking breakfast.

 “Persephone,” Lisa said while I slurped the soup up, “I’m sure you’re aware of the things Sam and Dean do, right?”

  “Of course,” I answered before scooping another spoonful of soup in my mouth.

 “How were you okay with it? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Dean and I understand that he’s gotta do what he has to, but sometimes I worry that he’ll come home hurt or something will follow him home.”

   Though there was a ping in my chest when she said she loved Dean, I couldn’t help but smile at how worried she was for him. It was something that he definitely needed since he was always worrying about other people. I placed the plate onto the empty nightstand and scooted closer to the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to me. When Lisa sat down, I took her hands into my own.

  “It’s a lot to process,” I whispered, “when I met Sam and Dean, I was so unsure about leaving everything I knew to travel with them and fight all of those monsters. But I know deep down in my heart that they would never let people they love get hurt and they’ll die trying to protect those they consider family. Especially Dean. What you can do for him, is just be there, even if it’s hard. Because at the end of the day, he needs that most of all.”

   The two of us shared a hug before she agreed she would do her best to make Dean feel loved and secure. After saying goodnight to me, she retreated back to her room, closing the door behind her. When she was out of sight, I grabbed my soup again and slowly started slurping it up again. It was comforting knowing that she would be taking care of Dean. Once he came back, I’d persuade him to go back with Lisa, telling him that he deserved to be with someone that made him happy.

   The next day came quickly and I hadn’t fallen back asleep after my conversation with Lisa, so I spent the rest of the entire night reading. Soft, illuminating rays of sunshine burst through the clear, white curtains in my room as I finished throwing on a short-sleeve, white, shirt that only tied close. Running my fingers through my brushed hair, I fixed up any lumps that were visible.

  Bobby was asleep at his desk when I reached downstairs, so I went over to him and wrapped a blanket around his snoring body. Picking up his almost empty bottle of scotch, I carried it back to the kitchen to put it away and make a new pot of coffee. Wanting nothing more than to sit outside with a non-school book and my delicious morning nectar, reading as the sun played against my pale skin. There was no telling when Sam and Dean would be home, along with there being no way of knowing when they would wake up. So I wanted to get in as much peace and quiet as possible before the day began.

  With the coffee cup in my right hand and a good book in the other, I sat on the back of one of Bobby’s rundown cars and started reading. Four chapters in and I was already getting up to make myself a second cup of joe. Just as I slipped off the back of the rusted car, Dean and Sam pulled up. The sun was only just inching towards the middle of the sky when they arrived. Both climbing out of their seats, I noticed that they were not only tired but relieved.

  “How’d it go?” I inquired, “seemed pretty quick.”

 “It went fine,” Sam replied, “except Dean’s got a big slash on his arm. They came right at us.”

   I went over to Dean and saw that he had wrapped his cut in a cloth but the blood was still leaking through. Clicking my tongue, I shook my head while leading the two of them inside. Sam explained on the way that they had figured that the Djinn were targeting both of them, so they went back to Dean’s home and waited there. When Dean noticed that his friends and neighbors were being killed, he ran to help and ended up almost dying. But Sam helped him. The fight raged on but in the end, the Winchester boys came out on top. Sam went to wash up while I started taking care of Dean’s wound.

  With the First Aid Kit laying beside me on the kitchen table, I unwrapped his wound and gulped at the sight of it. Dean chuckled.

  “Makes you miss the old days, huh?” He laughed.

 “Not really,” I giggled, “a lot of it may have been great but watching the two people I cared the most about get injured was never easy.”

  “It was never easy watching you get hurt either.”

 I cleaned up the wound and sprayed some of the cleaning solution on it causing Dean to wince. It made me laugh because of how soft he had become in the last year. After rewrapping the wound in a proper bandage, I threw everything else away and put the first aid kit back in its rightful spot. When I looked back at him, I saw that he was staring at his hands.

  “Are you thinking about leaving Lisa and Ben?” I asked, returning to the table.

  “I’m not sure,” he stated, “if I leave them, more monsters could show up looking for me and hurt them, but if I stay then even more monsters will show up and hurt them to get to me.”

  “But at least you’d be there to protect them.”

 His perfect, bright green eyes met my own darker, emerald ones.

  “If you left Lisa and Ben today, then you would never be able to forgive yourself if they got hurt without you being there. However, I know, and Lisa knows, that you would do anything for the people you love. So maybe you being there is what’s best right now.”

   The words seemed to sink in before he nodded in agreement.

 “Then it’s settled. I’ll be going back with Lisa and Ben when they wake up.”

   I squeezed his shoulder and sat down at the table. Running a shaking hand through my hair as a soft sigh left my lips. I don’t know what came over me, all of a sudden I felt that maybe I should say something to him if this was the last time I’d see him. I had no intention of breaking him and Lisa up but I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. It was practically tearing me up inside.

  “Dean, there’s something I need to tell you before you go,” I whispered.

 “What is it?” He asked, his eyes never wavering away from me.

  My palms felt sweaty and my throat felt drier than I had ever felt before. Taking a deep breath, I faced him and smiled. I chickened out.

  “I’m going to miss you.”

  I went to go back to my room, but Dean grabbed my wrist stopping me from leaving. I clenched my fist tight and turned around, not ready to face him because I knew he could read my face like a book. He stood there holding my arm, not tight but not lightly so I would stay there.

  “That’s definitely not what you were going to say,” he said, “tell me.”

  With a final deep breath, I nodded my head, “I love you.”

  His eyes widened and he dropped my hand, letting it drop to my side. I felt it sway before coming to a slow stop. Then I held it to defend myself.

  “I’m not saying this to break you and Lisa up,” I said, “I want you to go with her and be there for Ben. But I also wanted to let you know, in case we never saw each other again.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He croaked, and I thought that I could see tears in his eyes.

 I could only shrug my shoulders, “with everything going on, it just didn’t feel right. And then you wanted to go live with Lisa after Sam was gone so I just never told you.”

   Our conversation was interrupted by Ben and Lisa running into the kitchen, Bobby walking behind them, and embracing Dean. They were happy that he had come home with hardly any injuries. Dean wrapped his arms around them both but he was staring at me. I smiled sweetly, holding my hands in front of me while watching them be reunited. Lisa and Ben were ready to go home with Dean, and even though I knew Dean wanted to stay and talk more about what I had just confessed, I helped push him out the door. If he stayed any longer, I was definitely going to want him to stay forever. But I couldn’t be selfish. Sam, Bobby, and I stood at the front door and waved as the three of them drove off. When they were out of sight, my hand dropped. I felt Bobby place his hand on my shoulder and look at me with understanding.

  I wasn’t sure when the next time I would see Dean again, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be any time soon. And if I was being honest, I didn’t want to see him again. He needed to be with Lisa.

[reaction2whatever]

Agents of SHIELD S2E16-S2E18 reaction

Agents of SHIELD S2E16

-Is that real needles on Skye

-That does not look like props

-the actress actually got acupuncture for this scene?

-but omfg Skye is so gorgeous

-I LIVE for Bobbi defending Skye

-Simmons is so beautiful too oh wow

-I can understand this old guy's motives but still he is annoying as hell

-So Simmons' gloves made Skye's transition harder?

-Did the new guy just make Skye fly?

-That's cool

-Is Simmons really helping this old dude open the toolbox? Simmons should be more loyal to Coulson than this???

-annnd FitzSimmons are arguing again

-why is this show tearing my heart apart

-ahhh Mike is Coulson's back up!!!

-I've missed him!!

-lol Skye is so smart, figuring out that Raina is here by just a sentence

-I can understand why Skye is mad at Raina, cause I think Skye kinda blames Raina for Trip's death

-Also she kinda wants to blame Raina for her getting her power

-Skye almost killed Raina by just looking at her??

-Oh shit that's Skye's mom isn't it??? she's got scars on her face but that's the same woman who was cut by Whitehall?

-family reunion time! ahhhhh!!!

-Skye that's your mom!!!

-So her mom really never ages huh

-This show is trying very hard to make the old man be likable but still, I'm just mostly annoyed by him lol

-He's got the whole moral high ground figured out huh

-So there's still a hydra head out there

-Do they ever die out

-ahhhh I knew it!!! I knew Simmons wouldn't have betrayed Coulson so easily!! Fitz's got the toolbox!!

-Good job FitzSimmons!!

-Awww and Jemma packed him the sandwich UwU

-They are soooo cute

Agents of SHIELD S2E17

-what am I seeing oh wow May in the shower???????

-Ma'am that is...That is a sight to see

-is this finally introducing May's background story??

-ahhhhh I'm so excited

-FitzSimmons' teacher is very good-looking, but that hair does her wrong. Why would they give her that hairstyle it's so ugly it hurts my eyes

-Okay. YET AGAIN. this speech that Skye's mom is giving her about how resonate frequency works should be FitzSimmons's speech like come on now

-This show is trying to make me believe that FITZ, god damn engineer who works communication ALL THE TIME, didn't tell Skye about frequencies and resonance.

-Are we going to pretend like Fitz didn't excitedly explain to Skye about the classical example of resonant vibrations destroying the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington

-I like the new electricity guy and Skye's mom and no-eyes-man but come on now that frequency talk is science and belong to FitzSimmons

-Uggghh Can I get a fanfiction where FitzSimmons are the ones who helped Skye understand her powers?

-what is theta protocol though

-so Skye's power can play a note in a cup?

-if Skye can really control frequency her power is limitless omfg

-like she can legit change people's words when they are speaking or any sound traveling in the air because sound itself is vibrations that pass between air particles

-if she can learn how to alter visible light frequencies then she can basically make the enemy see a bunch of baby elephants when she's fighting them too lol

-She can destroy every object in the universe with minimum effort just by using the object's frequency

-Also she can just tap into phone signal, satellite, wifi, TV, GPS... basically all forms of communication by using her power, and she can alter them too

-Also Skye can use her power as a microwave lol how cool is that

-The ability to control frequency has to be the most versatile superpower there is ahhh her power is limitless

-ahhhh The engineer in me is fully having a happiness induced meltdown rn lol

-but hearing Skye talk about being in foster has got to be the saddest thing ever

-especially when her mom is right here

-The foster homes send her back to the orphanage for a glass??

-and they sent her back on her birthday once?

-That's a lot for a kid I feel so sad

-so July 2nd is Skye's birthday

-and her mom still remembers what happened on Skye's birthday awwww

-My baby has found and met both parents! ahhhhh I feel so happy for her

-ahhh I wonder what would happen if Skye had grown up with her parents

-May calls her husband before going in on a mission that's so soft awww

-her smile is so pretty too

-annnd ohhhh we're in combat mode

-she so handsome

-so May's mission is about Skye's mom's superpower group

-Did May end up killing the little girl

-oh fuck no May went in for the girl and ended up killing the girl herself

-welp killing a kid will for sure fuck someone up, especially a good person like May

-I feel so bad for May omfg

-awww Skye finally got to have a family dinner with both her mom and her dad

-Fuck hydra ugghh they really fucked up Skye's family

-they could have been very happy together as a little family if Hydra didn't fuck with Skye's mom

-Ohhhh Raina can see the future???

Agents of SHIELD S2E18

-awww I'm so glad that the family dinner went well for Skye

-ohhhh Bobbi is in work out outfit

-why is Bobbi hot in everything

-lmao why is Coulson calling Ward "hey sweetie" sooooo hilarious lololol

-mmmm interesting

-seems like Ward is finally getting redeemed?

-Skye's mom really does not care for normal people huh

-poor Fitz. he's being forced to be on the same plane as Ward, the man who damaged his brain

-I don't blame him for being emotional

-awww Skye's parents even got her school planned out

-I can understand Skye's dad's anger towards Whitehall and why he wanted to kill Whitehall himself. Whitehall fucked up all three of them in Skye's family

-holy shit Skye's dad owns a whole damn building

-how can he with a straight face say that he's not rich lol I feel poor now

-Skye could have lived a comfortable life like a princess

-It's a shame they can't make up for lost time

-Skye falling on top of electricity guy is sooo cliche lol

-what is this, some romantic novel's scene come to life? lol

-lmao May and Simmons and Skye looking at Coulson working with Ward has got to be some of the best reactions ever lol

-deathlock vs sparky electricity guy lol they fight each other to the death and then get captured together lmao just why

-So Ward is really gonna be redeemed huh

-The way Ward calls Coulson "Boss" reminds me so much of good guy Ward

-mmm what's Coulson planning? just surrendering like that?

[ariendiel]

Same anon who asked about the cheating, would love to know what would push the LIs to cheat.

Ahhh, thank you for coming back, anon, and I'll do my best to answer this for you! Big caveat for all of these is that I write them from the LIs point of view, so it can seem like I justify the cheating, when I'm very much not okay with cheating irl (yes, I'm still a Noah stan lol, humans are complicated y'all). Also, everyone has different definitions of cheating, so don't feel like you have to read the worst into these.

What could push the S2 LIs to cheat

Bobby

A combination of being easily distracted and needing constant validation could lead Bobby to cheat I think. If his partner isn't able to keep him occupied and feeling fully appreciated I think it could cause him to do something he'll regret. Especially seeing how he loves to be affectionate with his friends, this could go too far if he doesn't feel happy where he is.

Carl

Overwork and long nights at the office. If he doesn't have a partner to help him realise he shouldn't live for work it could lead to him cheating with someone at work I think. The guilt will eat him alive, but he's exhausted and if it's a person that's around a lot I think he could slip in a weak moment.

Elisa

Committment issues combined with her quickly growing bored. She needs constant action, and someone who can handle her influencer lifestyle. If you can't keep up, you're out, and I think that mindset has spread to include relationships for her. Elisa is also quite young still, and I think the thought of finding the one already really terrifies her.

Gary

Aloofness and insecurities combined. Not necissarily the bad kinds, but I think he's not always the best at picking up on his partner's emotions, which can lead to arguments and frustrations. That, combined with some deeply rooted insecurities can make him think it's just easier to go back to his old habits of sleeping around, because his partner is too good for him and deserves someone who understands her.

Henrik

Distance. Both physical and mental. Henrik really is like a golden retriever, and I just don't think he'd enjoy being away or feeling distanced from his partner in any way. Even if she just needs some quiet time or is travelling etc., I think it's the kind of thing that would build up and make him get really nervous and seek comfort elsewhere.

Ibrahim

Insecurity and his inability to resist tempation. He's young, he's rich, and he's now famous. That, combined with how insecure he is, with women who'll throw themselves at him? I fear Rahim is the kind of guy who could make one poor decision one night, and regret it for the rest of his life.

Jakub

Restlessness and committment issues. I think it'll take quite a bit for him to feel ready to actually settle down with someone, he's just not used to the thought, and when he does think about it it's too much.

Lucas

Fear of being abandoned is what I think has and can push Lucas to cheat. You know, the "better to hurt someone before they can hurt you" kind of mindset, because part of his upbringing and the constant moving around has left him scared and anticipating having to say goodbye to everyone and everything that makes him feel grounded.

Marisol

Similar to Lucas, but I think Marisol has more deeply rooted insecurities about letting herself be fully seen. What if when they get to know her, the real her, that they're disappointed? I feel like all these last three on this list are also the worst overthinkers, which can make them do the most dumb things at times.

Noah

I mean, we bascially know the answer for Noah, right? If you do the Noah route "right" he won't be in an official relationship with Hope, so not technically cheating, but I think a similar situation and bad relationship where he feels "trapped" and almost forced to act could push him to cheat. Basically, he doesn't necissarily have the strength to end a bad relationship himself, but he won't be able to resist someone else, leading him to cheat.