#if this seems sad it's because i'm i a mood for no fucking reason

[httpsghostie]

Can I Call You Tonight?

got this silly idea from a reel, so I'm in silly neighbor ghost mood

summary: you watered simon's dying plants.

wc: 1,2k

warnings: pure fluff, ghost x f!reader

Simon was always working, either buried in paperwork or fighting for his dear life. He couldn’t complain, though, it was the life he chose to have. He’d rented this apartment because it was near his work and as he said, he could always go walking. It didn’t cost much to live in that area, and he believed he didn’t need more than that apartment could offer.

The relatively low cost was exactly the reason you chose this building, it could use some renovation but you were happy to be starting a new cycle of your life. Finally moving out, finally living alone, it was all you could’ve asked for.

Living there was great, you loved it. It was so chill it was almost boring, so when you found this silly thing to do, it became your favorite activity.

Looking diagonally down from your balcony, a neighbor of yours had a few sad-looking plants that could really use some water. That being said, you could give a little hand for them to come back to life. You grabbed your squeeze water bottle and poured down some water on the plants, trying not to wet his entire balcony as you did so.

It became your silly little thing, watering that person’s plant like you were taking care of a child, but watching as it slowly came to life again was priceless. 

And Simon, well, he did notice something was different. As he smoked his cigarette, late at night on the balcony after arriving from his three week duty, he noticed the plant coming back to life again.

“Well, this is odd.”  He said, grabbing his phone from the pocket and taking a picture of it.

“Why did you send me a photo of your plant?” Johnny called as soon as he saw the picture.

“It was dead when I left.” He said.

“Ok?”

“I didn’t water it while I was gone.”

“Ok… so, someone watered it for you?” Johnny chuckled.

“Negative. No one has my keys.” Simon said in a low tone.

“Maybe it revived on its own.” If Johnny could see him right now, he’d laugh at his deadpan.

“I don’t- why did I even text you. Someone could’ve broken in.” 

“And what? Water your plants everyday and leave your stuff behind? Seems unusual.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Go rest, Lt, you deserve it.”

Simon stood there for a while, contemplating the events and then deciding he was overreacting. It wasn’t until he woke up in the morning, having slept on his couch, and heard the noise of water running. He jumped on his feet to check if he didn’t leave the sink open, but as he came back to his living room, he was able to see a small stream of water from his balcony.

“Ay, ay.” He opened the door, looking at where the water was coming; your apartment. Your cheeks immediately flushed as you noticed you’d spilled water in not only his plants, but him. You’d been on the phone, leaning on the balcony and holding the water bottle as you scrolled on your social media, and him yelling made you lose balance and drop your phone, and the chain of events unfolded way too fast.

You quickly let go of the water bottle and ran downstairs, only to meet him in his wet shirt, looking at your fucked up phone on the concrete. “I’ll get you a new one, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, turning to face you. “Simon.” He gave you his hand.

“Y/n.” You said with a pout, shaking his hand. You crouched, grabbing your now obviously dead phone and analyzing it. “I’m sorry for… well, for this.” You pointed at the wet patch on his shirt and he smiled.

“It’s nothing, it’ll dry off.” He said, watching as you almost finger punched your clearly not working phone. “Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?” He chuckled, following you back to the building. 

“Fuck off.” You rolled your eyes at him, but ended up laughing along. “Have you tried putting your shirt on rice?”

“Good one.” He smiled. He was so… handsome. Where was he the whole time you’ve been living there? You two got in the elevator, and he pressed the buttons of his and yours floors. “So it’s you who’s been watering my plants.”

“They were dehydrated. You’re a bad parent.” You said.

“I was at work.” He quickly said, and you mumbled a small ‘oh’. “Anyway, thank you. I was going to throw them out. They look good.”

“No, it’s fine.” You smiled.

“So, give me your number so I can let you know when I get your new phone.” He said as the elevator came to a stop. “Oh, you don’t have one.” He laughed as he watched your expressionless face. “Wanna come to my place to talk about it?”

He held the door open, waiting for your reaction, and immediately smiled as you walked out of the elevator with him. He opened his door for you, letting you step inside, then got in and closed it behind him.

“Make yourself at home.” He said as he passed in front of you, taking his shirt off. Oh, bloody hell.

Oh, fuckfuckfuck. Shit. He was so fine. No, fine was an understatement. His body was definitely sculpted by gods, definitely. He was absolutely breathtaking, he was ripped and toned in all the right places, and the scars on his torso only enhanced his attractiveness. He was the living embodiment of attractiveness.

You blinked desperately, trying to look away.

“Wow, this… this is not-” you choked out.

“What’s wrong with ‘ya?” He asked, coming back with a new shirt in hands and a really, really wide grin. Something about him playing innocent was flipping something inside of you. He made sure to stay right in front of you as he put a dry shirt on.

You looked away in embarrassment, you must’ve been overthinking.

“Want some tea?” He asked, snapping you back to reality. You nodded, and he went to the kitchen. 

You sat on his couch, looking around his apartment, finding a few pictures of people in the army. “You don’t spend a lot of time here, do you?” You asked as he came back with two mugs in his hand.

“What makes you think that?” He handed you a mug.

You pointed at the dusty frame and he walked to your side, picking it up. “Where’s you?” 

“Who do you think it’s me?” He chuckled. There was a man in a skull mask, holding a dog to his shoulder, and your little frown was adorable to his eyes. He pointed towards him, and you made an unsurprised ‘ah’.

“I knew it, the tattoos gave it away.” You smiled, watching as he put the frame down again.

“Yes, they did.” He mumbled, chuckling his way to the couch, where he gestured for you to sit.

“I have to say, you look better without the mask, by the way.” 

“Thanks. It’s uncomfortable to wear it.”

“I believe…”

The next minutes passed with an awkward silence until he finally spoke again.

“So, I don’t know a lot about phones. I suggest we go out together to get you a new one.”

That smooth bastard.

“Like a date.” You said.

“Like me taking you out to get a new phone.”

“A date.” You laughed.

He sighed, rubbing his temple.

“Yes, a date.”

[atrophiedemotion]

ivantill cafeteria scene analysis

keep in mind that this is fully just my personal opinion and interpretation of the scene okay cool

the cafeteria scene from round 6 has always been really interesting to me, and i've seen a lot of people take it different ways, so i just wanted to walk through my view of it because it's such a telling scene about their dynamic more recently than as kids

the scene starts with a shot of till during the round that looks to be from ivan's pov, showing us what he's seeing in the moment, and flashes back to one of ivan's memories from anakt.

considering the almost identical expressions till is wearing in both shots, it seems to be ivan thinking back to a time he saw till look the way he does in round 6- miserable, hopeless, defeated. like he's given up.

we then see ivan noticing till's apparent resignation and shitty mood (because of course he notices, it's his personal watching till time after all), then getting up to go bother him. i say 'bother him', and it definitely looks like that's what he's doing, but i don't think that's ivan's goal. i think ivan's goal is to comfort, or at least distract till.

despite their juvenile fights, we've never seen ivan actually want to cause till true harm. his lyrics in both black sorrow and cure are caring and reverent, making it apparent that ivan really does just love and care for him and just wants to be able to do things for till. this is furthered ofc by the whole post-club scene where ivan looks absolutely devastated seeing the state till is in.

i always reference back to my mirroring post bc it explains the way i imagine ivan's train of thought, and it applies here again. ivan does not know how to comfort till in a conventional way (probably for a few reasons; till is different from the other students, both in the way he acts and displays his emotions, and in ivan's opinion of him. till is special to ivan, he usually drops his mask around him so meaningless platitudes wouldn't be right) but he does know how to get till's attention on him and out of his own head.

all this being said- what ivan does next:

he swipes his hand across the cut on till's cheek. yeah, i know, definitely not what most people would consider 'comforting their friend' but that's what makes sense to ivan. 'how could i possibly distract him if he seems to ignore me most of the time?' (for now looking past the fact that till actually seems comfortable in ivan's quiet company, ivan's too single-focused to realize that)

and, well, i mean. he's right. till gets visibly disgruntled. he doesn't exactly look pissed as much as he looks caught the hell off guard, but it grabs his attention.

ivan, on the other hand, looks almost fond to me. i don't know, i just don't really think he looks smug even though i'm assuming that might be the general consensus. he almost seems a bit soft. to me, it looks like he's adoringly thinking, 'it worked. there, no time to be sad anymore, huh?' he probably is proud of himself for it, but not really in a selfish way.

till, of course, sees that it's ivan who's messing with him, and turns away.

i've also talked about this but at this age it really does seem like till's mindset when it comes to ivan is something along the lines of, 'oh, it's just ivan. he's fucking weird, that's just how he is' and more or less shrugs it off. he's used to ivan's "quirks" it seems.

this, till looking at ivan only to immediately look away, won't do. he only caught his attention for a few seconds, so i assume ivan's next logical move is to do something that will get an even bigger reaction. (ivan is a logical thinker, after all, at least in my perception of him)

so he. ya know. does that. which really seems like a great way to get himself punched, right? which honestly is also probably his plan. have till explode in anger, forget whatever happened for him to be injured in the first place, and ivan gets his undivided attention for a period of time. a win-win.

and you might be saying "oh, but couldn't ivan have just been doing that selfishly? we know his main goal is to get till to look at him." to which i say, yeah fair. i don't think this was done completely selflessly (i don't think anything ivan does is fully selfless but that's perhaps for another day) at all, he could've gone at it a different unconventional way if it was. but i think he probably sees it as mutually beneficial.

yes, it does seem like a way to show ivan wanting to keep till's eyes and attention on him. an example of how he seeks out till's attention no matter what, but the preceding shot of a hopeless till reminds ivan of this particular interaction for a reason.

there had to have been a motive behind what he did and why he did it then, and what we have to go off of for that is the first three shots. till wearing the same misery on two different occasions and ivan noticing. with that information, it's really not a stretch that this could be ivan's fucked up version of comfort.

[barcalover86]

PEDRI ONE SHOT

Jealous-P.G.

(Y/n version)

You've been dating Pedri for 4 months. You loved each other a lot, but even after all these months, you can't believe that he chose you and not any other girl that was prettier than you.

This was one of the reasons you were scared to lose him. Maybe someday he will see someone that was right for his level and leave you.

Maybe he will realise that you can't give him what he wants so you were all the time worried and insecure.

It's not that you don't trust him. He is the sweetest person to you and tries every time to show you how much he loves you, but it's all just seems like a dream. It was a really good dream, and you were scared that this eventually would end.

Now Pedri was injured, and he spent more days with you. Everything seemed to be perfect until you were invited to the birthday party of one of your boyfriend's friends.

You've never met her and were really concerned about what she would think of you.

The location of the party was really beautiful. A lot of people were invited and were swimming in the club's swimming pool.

Pretty girls everywhere you were looking, in revealing bikinis and dresses. You couldn't lie. They are having some pretty gorgeous bodies.

Pedri ordered the drinks for you two. He wanted to have fun tonight after the intense season he had, so he chose some shots, and you said you only wanted a free alcohol cocktail so that you can drive both home tonight.

Pedri told you that you could just ask for a driver, but you didn't feel the need to drink right now.

All you did was look at the beautiful girls that were partying next to you.

Pedri was talking with a few friends after he introduced you to them.

They were nice, but not exactly your type.

Pedri was feeling sad that you weren't in the mood for talking, so he just let you be with your thoughts, knowing that he can't do anything to help you right now. He promised himself to talk with you the next morning.

After some time, the birthday girl named Jess asked Pedri to go in the pool with her to have some fun. He looked at you for approval and went with her after you nodded. You didn't want for him to be half naked after a half-naked gorgeous body girl, but were too shy to say no to him.

You looked at the two of them who seemed to have a lot of fun.

Pedri wasn't exactly looking at her body, but when she turned around intentionality, his eyes were going at her curved ass for a second by accident, but you, of course, saw.

This girl knew that he has a girlfriend, but didn't mind at all.

She wanted him all to herself even if he is taken.

You started to get really jealous, and when she touched his abs and chest, you had enough.

"Pedri, can we go home, please? I'm tired. " You tried to talk to him, but he said that it was too early for you to go home.

"But I'm tired, Pedri. Please, " you repeated yourself, but he just told you to get home because he will ask for a driver.

"Oh sure, bebé. You just had to ask me to stay with her this night, and I would have left! Have fun and happy birthday, Jess, " you said, really angry and frustrated with tears in your eyes.

Everyone looked at you in shock, but now you didn't have time to feel embarrassed. You went home, threw yourself on the bed, and started to kick yourself.

Of course, he wouldn't want you. He has a tone of girls, why would he choose you.

A simple girl.

You cried hard while packing your things quickly. You wanted to leave his house as soon as possible and go home where you could be alone.

When you were almost done, you heard someone rushing to your room.

"Y/n!!! I called you multiple times. You scared me to death, amor..wait-what are you doing?" he felt like his heart just broke when he saw you packing your chlotes with red and puffy eyes.

"What do you think, amor? you replied mad.

"No, no, no, no, no, no" he said while trying to make you stop and to put you closer to him"

"Leave me alone, Pedro! Go to the fucking birthday girl you adore that much"

"What??? Y/n, stop! You don't need to be jealous right now, please. I love you and only you. You have no idea how my heart is breaking right now, seeing that you want to leave me. She means nothing to me. She is just an old friend. I told you before that she is a flirty type of girl. Please please please don't leave me. "

You didn't listen to him at all. Now you were on your living room, ready to leave all behind .

"Y/N!!! I LOVE YOU! I ran here the moment you left." he really was sweating. You didn't notice it.

"Of course, I wouldn't let you leave alone, and I would have come with you because all I wanted to do tonight was being with you. I tried to talk to you. " Yes, he did, "You were tired and didn't wanna talk. Sorry, I let you alone. I wanted to swim with you, but you made a lot of excuses. I was the one who questioned himself all night long if you still feel something for me. And now, with you leaving...I-no..I can't, " he started to cry so hard.

You've never seen him cry, especially this hard. Your heart shattered at his words. There's no way you didn't love him anymore.

"Cariño.."

You went and hugged him, his body now on the floor. His hands were on his eyes, but his sobs were heard loudly.

"Lo siento mucho.."

You felt so bad for making him this sad. You kissed his forehead softly making sure to tell him how much he means to you.

You also explained your situation to him and he told you that you had to say this before you decided to leave the house.

You knew that you exaggerated at this point so you felt so bad.

After he calmed himself a little, he looked into your eyes. His were red, but full of love.

"I just can't imagine myself without you.."

"Oh, Pedri.." you said while hugging him again.

After you kissed his lips, you went to your bed, cuddled eachother and slept.

The next morning, you talked about the whole thing, knowing that both of you made some mistakes, and promised yourselfs to tell everything from now on.

[666writingcafe]

Checking In

Lucifer

Once my brothers are settled in for the evening, I quietly leave the House and begin walking back to the castle. I need to apologize to Diavolo for what happened a few hours ago, but more importantly, I need to see Zephyr. I haven't quite decided whether to yell at them or comfort them.

The exhausted look in their eyes as they answer the door to one of the spare bedrooms tells me that they're not in the mood for a lecture.

Normally, that doesn't stop me from giving one, but for some reason, I can't find it in me to berate Zephyr for their actions. Not even a little bit.

They walk over to the desk they have set up and start looking through various papers. I make my way over to the bed and sit on the side facing them.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" I ask.

"Can't," Zephyr answers, more focused on their work than on me.

"Can't, or won't?" They glare at me briefly. "Simply a question, Zephyr. Nothing more."

"I have to distract myself. If I don't keep myself busy, I'm going to kill Solomon."

"For calling you 'MC'?" That got their attention. They look like they're moments away from biting my head off.

"Listen, I understand why you're upset."

"Do you?" they bark angrily.

"You trusted him to keep your old identity a secret, yes?" Zephyr blinks awkwardly before closing their eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's just..." Another deep breath as their eyes begin watering.

"It's okay. Take your time."

"I'll be fine." Sighing, they leave their desk and sit beside me on the bed.

"Do you want to know why I answered Diavolo's ad in the paper?" they ask me. I shrug.

"I assumed it was for the money." Zephyr shakes their head.

"I had to make the transition alone. I didn't want you guys to have the same experience I did, because it was rough."

"You weren't always a demon?" Another sigh.

"I was born human, Lucifer."

Oh. That explains a few things.

"I come from a long line of powerful and notorious sorcerers," they continue. "Everyone in my family wants to cause as much chaos as possible simply because they find it hilarious to watch people suffer. I didn't participate in any of their illegal and shady activities, obviously, but I still had a target on my back. No matter where I went in the human world, people were on the hunt for me. I was more or less a fugitive, and all because I was related to a whole bunch of criminals.

"Then one day, I met a group of demons. They were part of an organization that granted humans asylum in the Devildom. I told them my story, and they not only encouraged me to seek it out, but they also made sure that my application was approved as quickly as possible. However, that meant shedding all my ties to the human world and becoming a full-fledged demon. Shortly after I arrived here, the organization was forced to dissolve, and any evidence of its existence disappeared without a trace."

I'm not surprised something like that happened. If Diavolo is telling me the truth about his father, then I have no doubt that he had a heavy hand in annihilating that organization.

"So where does Solomon come in all this?"

"He's worked with my family over the course of my childhood. I was told he was a friend, but I learned at a very young age to not trust anyone that they liked."

"And yet you have his mark on you."

"That's because when we reconnected several years later, I learned that he was trying to become a more reputable sorcerer. Of course, I didn't believe him at first, but then I started hearing good things about him from people I did trust. Eventually, I wanted to help him with his goal, and so I agreed to enter a pact with him."

"I see."

Well, no wonder Zephyr's able to remain calm around us. We probably seem like a fucking cake walk compared to what they've been through. And having to do it all by themselves on top of it?

I feel a strange mix of emotions: sadness, anger, and...

Pride.

Which makes very little sense. How can I be proud of someone that I barely know? They're just our attendant, after all.

Or are they?

Tears threaten to spill out of Zephyr's eyes again.

I shouldn't stay here. Maybe I can flag down one of Diavolo's servants and have them get tissues or something for them.

But I have to remain professional. Who knows what would happen if I give in?

My heart beats my brain. Soon, I'm holding Zephyr in my arms as they quietly cry into my chest.

Memories of me comforting my siblings like this begin playing in my head. Is Zephyr family? They've certainly integrated quite well into ours, but that's only so that they can better assist us, right?

And yet the way they're grabbing onto me...

Eventually, they pull back, and as I let go of them, our eyes meet. For one brief yet scary moment, they look exactly like Lilith.

I lean in and kiss their forehead, for old time's sake.

But then my brain takes over again, and I'm suddenly questioning everything I just did.

"Sorry," I mumble, scrambling to get out of that room before I do something stupid again. I shouldn't be feeling this way about them. Even if they weren't born a demon, that doesn't change the fact that they've been one for much longer than me and my brothers have. I still have to lead by example, and I can't do that if I'm too busy fawning over them.

Who cares what they think? You deserve to be happy.

I'm going to need some time alone to think.

~~~

A Few Days Later

A Text Conversation

Lucifer: Are you doing okay?

Zephyr (MC): That's funny. I was about to text you the very same question.

Lucifer: Of course you were.

Zephyr: To answer your question, I'm doing better. Might even head back to the cottage soon.

Lucifer: That's good.

Lucifer: Listen, I want to properly apologize to you for what happened.

Zephyr: Which part?

Lucifer: Me running away.

Zephyr: *wide-eyed emoji*

Lucifer: What did you expect me to say, that I regretted comforting you when you needed it?

Zephyr: Kind of, yeah.

Lucifer: I know it seemed that way at the time, but I can assure you, that wasn't it at all.

Lucifer: It's taken me a bit for me to admit this, but I was scared.

Zephyr: Of?

Lucifer: My feelings.

Lucifer: The positive ones, I mean.

Zephyr: *confused sticker*

Lucifer: If it's alright with you, I'd like to get to know you more.

Zephyr: In a friendly way?

Lucifer: Something like that.

Zephyr: Lucifer...

Lucifer: Yes?

Zephyr: Why the indirect answer?

Lucifer: I'm still getting used to the idea of seeing you as more than simply an attendant. Please be patient with me.

Zephyr: Of course.

Zephyr: Are you wanting to do something low key, or do I need to find a fancy outfit?

Lucifer: *confused sticker*

Zephyr: Just trying to gauge where you're at, whether you're simply wanting to become friends or wishing for something more than that.

Lucifer: *several wide-eyed emojis*

Zephyr: Alright then. Low key it is. How about a nice stroll through one of the parks? Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. No pressure to do anything beyond walking and talking, and you can leave whenever for whatever reason, even if it's because you're simply sick of hearing the sound of my voice droning on and on.

Lucifer: *a few laughing emojis*

Lucifer: Sounds good. Just let me know when and where.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch

[bengiyo]

I am requesting a ship twofer: Rio and Kido and Rio and Haruhiko

Ah yes, let's discuss The Novelist again.

Plainly: Rio and Haruhiko would not happen without Rio and Kido, but there's no way for Rio and Kido to work out. Kido is selfish and a coward, and Haruhiko is alarmingly devoted.

When you watch the Novelist for the first time you think Rio is some sort of mastermind, but he's not. He's just a fucked up gay man trolling a college kid because he was bored and lonely. We don't really understand why he is this way, but we know something is wrong with him, and we're certain Kido has something to do with it.

Then we go to Mood Indigo and realize that so much of what's wrong with Rio now is that Kido wouldn't let him remain repressed. Rio was clearly struggling before he ran into Kido again, but Kido brought him into the world of erotica and made him learn from a huge perv. Then Kido got way too horny about it and showed he knew a whole lot more about gay sex than I was expecting from him.

Kido is a mess. He thinks he wants to commit to Rio, but he values the appearance of normalcy so much. He's also selfish in that he always makes others feel like they're the reason he made some sort of big sacrifice. He lets Rio blow him so Rio can get a good job. He moves in with Rio to help with rent. He stays in erotica publishing to honor Rio. He's a liar! He let Rio blow him because he wanted to get his dick sucked. He continued living with Rio because he wasn't into the girl who wanted him to be a normie. He stayed in erotica because he likes it, but he likes making people feel beholden to him more than anything. I'm not a fan of this man! I was so glad when Rio went back to Haruhiko at the end of Mood Indigo.

One of the smartest things they did with this series was give these guys time. We got to see Haruhiko age out of school and take on the work of a salaryman even as Rio left the city to try to continue writing. I love Pornographer: Playback because so much of it revolves around Rio grappling with the fact that every time he looks back he finds Haruhiko right there even when Rio is being so mean.

I think I like Haruhiko because Rio woke something in him and Haruhiko loved it. It makes him happier. It seemed to give him purpose. Rio flounders constantly because being gay and smart makes him feel so different and separate from the world. Kido made him feel worse about it. He made Rio feel desirable, but then actively didn't choose him. He even has the nerve to get sad about it! Haruhiko, however, is so into Rio that he blew this man in a car because they hadn't seen each other in a while.

I really do love Rio and Haruhiko a lot, because every creative needs a devoted simp to ground them in reality. I hope Kido finds meaning and purpose in being a husband and a father, because he cannot be anything sustainable to Rio.

Send Me a Ship and I'll Share My Thoughts About Them

[roseshewrites]

POV: Lucifer comforts you during an ugly cry

-Depressed reader

-Self loathing reader

-Artistic reader

If you need an ugly cry, now's the time. Lucifer's got yah. 💖

You were curled up on the window seat by your bed, staring despondently out at the hellish night sky. 

It had been a bad day for you. 

Nothing had gone wrong per se, but for some weird reason this morning, you had woken up feeling so...sad. You tried to ignore it. You drank your morning coffee, said hello as cheerfully as possible to the other inhabitants of the hotel. Even going so far as to help Charlie and her dad with their day to day patron check ins and inventory detailing.

And to be honest, it was nigh impossible to feel fucking sad around them both. Charlie, with her bright happy demeanor, and the ease that Lucifer chuckled at your jokes, you started to feel around midafternoon that maybe your bad mood that morning was just a random event. 

But, no. 

Because as soon as you were alone, as soon as you realized you had your own shit to do and got back to your room, the silence and isolation of it hit your ears and heart and you just stood there staring at the mess on the floor. 

You had so much to do. Messes to clean up, artwork commissions that people were waiting on, written pieces that needed editing and published; your bathroom was a mess, and you had no clean towels, so you couldn't shower this mood away. The clothes you're in are still relatively fresh but have been worn all day to now, so just to get out of them and into some pajamas would be a blessing. 

 But you had no clean clothes either. They were all in a pile on the floor. 

You don't know how long you stood there just staring at everything, but it was awhile. Long enough for you to curl up on your window seat, fall asleep in the hell's afternoon sun, and ignore the pain that beat in your chest with your heart, and that threatened to make pinpricks of tears form in your closed eyes. 

You had awoken tireder than before, hungry and thirsty, and now just flat out pissed at yourself for napping the day away instead of taking this low maintenance time at the Hotel to deal with your own business. 

You gulped, fighting that emotion, feeling your cheeks heat up with rage at yourself when a soft knock echoed from your door, and you jumped, not expecting it at all. 

"Hey-O, it's Lucifer. Can I come in?" 

His deep voice boomed a bit. Definitely hard to miss. 

"Y-yeah," you called hesitantly, then cringed when the door actually cracked open, spilling light with it onto the carpeted floor of your room which illuminated each and every embarrassing pile of clothing, art supplies, and random clutter that you hadn't been able to bring yourself to pick up in the past week no matter how you berated yourself for it. 

"Oh fuck" you said, "I'm so sorry. It's a mess in here. I'm sorry." 

But Lucifer was already cheerfully making his way across the room, not paying any attention to the inner workings of the room. Thank god.

He waved your apologies away going, "No, no, I've seen worse I promise!" 

Maybe he was inwardly judging you for it. But nothing on his face suggested that at all, actually he seemed mainly focused on having a seat beside you. You scooted over so he could, and the two of you sat in silence for a little bit. 

You played with your hair, willing yourself to speak to him, as he surely must have come in here for a reason, but the words for idle chatter were definitely not in your vocabulary right now. You settled with letting the side of your forehead rest on your window, the cool glass easing your aching head a bit. 

"You okay, kiddo?" He said softly. 

You shook your head silently, not wanting the tears that leaked out at that question. Why was it when someone asked when you were okay, everything hurt even more? 

"I don't know what's wrong with me," you whispered, the tears tracking past your lips, salty and hot. Your lip trembled unwillingly. Embarrassed about this, you bit your lip and fought to get your crumpled face somewhat under control. 

"I could tell something was wrong earlier." 

You peeked at him. He was blurry through the tears but you could make out the round shape of his face, how hell's moonlight illuminated his blond hair and cast shadows across his cheeks. He had his hat off and was holding it in his hands. 

Lucifer spotted you looking, and smiled, his kind crimson eyes crinkling. 

"You could?" You whispered. 

"Yeah, hun. You wanna talk about it?" 

"I - I just-" you gulped, stifling a sob that wanted to rise, and you wanted to talk, but the golfball of anger in your throat prevented you. 

"Hey, hey!" He scooted closer, closing a small dark hand over yours. You nearly flinched at the closeness, but you appreciated the gesture anyway. "Tell me about it. I'm not here to judge, honey, I swear. I promise." 

"I just FEEL like this for no reason!!" You burst out, the emotional whirlwind coming undone, finally undammed in your voice which was horrible and made your heart beat fast, "I have NO REASON to be sad. NONE. And why?! Because my brain decided it one day?! And I'm just stuck like this forever?!" 

The tumultuous sob that broke from you then was ungodly. You had felt this constant sadness as an undercurrent in your chest and stomach for as long as you could remember, and had coped with it as best as you knew how for all that time. And here it was, rearing its ugly face in the form of choking, hot angry sobs that had your body and throat trembling in front of the King of Hell, of all people- 

"Oh sweety, no. Come here. Come here..." 

You felt arms around you, strong and warm, and you tensed, then when you realized he really didn't mind, melted into his arms and allowed him to truly hold you, your face pushed into his chest and silently scream into the fabric of his warm clean smelling jacket. 

He held and rocked you, stroking your hair softly, the rumble of his deep voice vibrating as he said, "Let it out. It's all right. Just let it out. I'm here." 

You clutched his jacket and your breath was hot as the ugly cry wracked you, his shoulder steadying and his hand playing with your hair as he continued to comfort you, as your breathing slowed steadily until it was a series of hiccups that filled you with tiredness. His shoulder was wet, but he didn't seem to mind. 

You sniffed, whispering, "I'm sorry." 

"Why?" 

"Because. I'm upset for no fucking reason. No reason at all." 

"It's called depression, honey. I've been there. Sometimes, you just feel that way. Sometimes it seems like it lasts forever. Like it'll never stop. Right?" 

"...Yeah.." You sniffed again. "I can't. I don't remember. I've never been - completely-" 

"You've never felt all the way normal?" 

"Yeah." 

He released you, digging into his pocket for a handkerchief which he handed you, and you took gratefully, blowing your nose with an embarrassing amount of snot and leftover tears leaking from your itchy eyes. 

"Tell you a secret. I never have, either." 

You looked up, surprised. "You?" 

"Yeah," he chuckled, "Me." 

"The King of Hell has major depressive disorder?" You choked into the wet napkin, unable to help a sob-sounding little giggle - "-Sorry-" 

"No, laugh it's okay, because it is kinda ridiculous, right?" He grinned, "Me. One of the first angels. God's favorite. And there's something chemically wrong with my brain! Go figure, right?" 

"Dude that's fucked up," you giggled, hiccuping. 

"It is, right?!" 

"So effed. Fuck God, honestly-" 

"You're not joking," Lucifer said so seriously that you cracked up into a hysterical giggle, and his booming chuckles filled the room musically. 

"Ahh, fuck," you said, feeling warmer, a lot better, and a little adrenaline-rushed. But calmer. 

"Wanna tell me about it?" 

"It's this," you gestured at the room, "God it's a mess. I have so much to do, and...I've been doing none of it." 

It all poured out of you, then, your story- how over your own head you were with your own chores, the physical ones that were only as simple as laundry, and keeping your area clean, and then continued with the work you needed to do that people were expecting from you. That you expected from yourself but were somehow unable to find the energy for. 

"It just sounds like you're overwhelmed, that's all. And that happens with depression," he related. "You've been fighting for so long, it catches up with you, and you just melt down. I get it, sweety. I do." 

"It just never has before. I usually don't let it get to me like this." 

"And that's okay," he reassured you, "Really. You gotta take the good with the bad. And if you happen to need some help, that's all right too. You might need medication, something to take the edge off. In my experience it doesn't kill the depression entirely, but..." 

"It makes it tolerable?" 

"With how deep yours goes, yes," he said. 

"That sucks." 

"I know, hun." 

"I might never be free from it," you sighed.

"Well there's definitely no cure-all for it, but like I said, there are ways to cope, and ways to fight it, and make it through without losing your mind entirely." 

"I want it to stop. I don't like being this way." 

"Me neither," he agreed. "When it comes to having felt that way for your whole life, I understand. There might not be a way out, but there is a way through. Get it?" 

You nodded, "I think so." 

"Ready to get up and clean your room a little?" 

You smiled, "Yeah.." 

"Come on," he hopped up, taking your hand and helping you up too. You stumbled because you had been sitting so long that your legs were asleep. 

Lucifer cut on some lights- not the overheads, those were too bright for you and made you want to hiss- so the bedside lamp on your night stand was switched on, and the both of you commenced to picking up around the room. 

Lucifer was asking you the occasional question or remarking like "Where do I put this?"- and, "Oh I loved that book, you have good taste-" 

All this until your dirty laundry was confined to a hamper in your closet, your artwork (some of it wrinkled) put into neat piles on your desk, your laptop was found somewhere under the bed, along with a series of truly monstrous dust bunnies and several pairs of shoes you'd forgotten you even owned. 

"I'll do something for you, but just this once," he winked, then snapped his fingers and with a golden -pop!-, your dirty laundry flew into the air from the hamper, rippled itself clean then cascaded one by one into your dresser drawers nicely folded and put away. A fresh scent of tide lingered in the air. 

"Don't go asking me to do your laundry all the time though, kid- oof" 

You had caught him up in a sudden warm hug, squeezing him tight while he chuckled into your shoulder. You'd forgotten you were a whole head taller than him. 

"You're welcome," he grinned up at you. "You gonna be okay?" 

You nodded, and smiled in return, loving how his eyes glinted and shone with that jester like amusement. 

"I'll be okay," you told him. 

After he left, and after you had showered and gotten changed, you sat at the end of your freshly made bed and sighed, waiting for that returning feeling of hopelessness. It tried, but it didn't go very far. You were very tired. 

No, there were a lot of ways that you would never be okay. But there were also people surrounding you who loved you, and care for your well-being and existence. There are ways to cope, like Lucifer was saying, and all that. 'You can be gentle with yourself,' you thought. 'Maybe come back to your work after tomorrow...take a day to unwind and brainstorm..' 

With that in mind, you turned off the lights, crawled in between clean sheets, and dozed off knowing that your journey into healing would continue to grow into something much better than it is now. 

You just have to work on it. 

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp: okay so we have the pet rat we just need to go to my dad and give it to him as a gift and he won't be depressed that his wife is- this is dumb. This was a dumb idea. I should have just got the fucking cat fuck!

Sanji:.......... Can I have the rat?

Usopp: sure.

Sanji: I'm going to name her sprinkles!

Usopp: I feel like you planned this.

Sanji did indeed plan this. He didn't expect it to work but it did and now he has a pet rat. Usopp bought a cat so now the red hair pirates have a cat. He hates everyone except for yasopp so I guess it's a win ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

HELP EJKBEJKBRK Sanji has been asking to have a pet rat for so long and Nami kept saying he couldn't have one (because of reasons definitely not related to Luffy going INSANE if he has an animal to play with. Honestly, that's scarier than the possible hygiene issues) but now that they have a rat... They can't just... Leave her on her own... Right... He cries a little. Does puppy eyes to keep her. Nami gives in to those eyes for once in her life. The rat is actually adorable, so it's alright. And Sanji just- He loves the thing. Usopp thought it'd be just a silly pet but it's basically with Sanji 24/7. On his shoulder. In his pockets. Sleeping with him. He speaks to her all the time. And somehow?? He's happier?? He seems better. Like, emotionally stable. What the fuck. And Usopp never thought he'd say this but Sanji was right and rats indeed do wonders for his mental health. Besides, the little thing loves Usopp too so so much. It's like she's a Sanji 2.0 because of how much she loves Usopp and how little she stands Zoro's presence (fucking hates him for some reason but Sanji couldn't be prouder).

And now Yasopp has a cat!!!! Please, tell me it's a very unhinged cat that actually looks adorable when you look at it at first but in reality, hates everybody that isn't Yasopp, Usopp, or Sanji. Please. He hates Shanks the most too. It'd be hilarious that they met Buggy once and the cat just ADORES him because Buggy is such a cat guy. And Shanks is so sad to see the cat and Buggy receiving the love he can't give them. Yasopp can't stop laughing at him. His mood has improved, actually. He's happier and more energetic and the cat is just as fun as him!

[with-love-from-hell]

Ashes

Written for Gn!mc

Genre: hurt/comfort

Pairing: Lucifer x Mc

Cw: depression implication, self-loathing

A/n: I wrote this at 4am when I couldn't sleep and was in my feelings.

"Darling, what seems to be troubling you?" Lucifer sighs, easing himself down on the bed by your feet. He caresses your calf, running his thumb along the muscle. The movement was intentional enough that you could feel it through the weight of your duvet, but gentle enough that it felt like a mere tickle.

"I'm fine." The lie slipped through your teeth easily. Anyone else would have left you too your swarm of negative thoughts and emotions, passing off the dismissive lie as you just being fatigued or in need of some alone time...but Lucifer knew you better than anyone else. What's more, he's someone you found difficult to lie to.

Lucifer sighed, squeezing your calf through the blanket. "Come now, Mc. You needn't hide things from me."

You bite your lip, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill past your eyelids. What could you even say? You couldn't exactly pinpoint the thing that had put you in a dour mood. The whole day seemed to weigh on you like an anvil, each mild inconvenience or small stress seeming to cause the weight to grow heavier and heavier until you could no longer carry it. Lucifer was a logical man- a man of reason. If you were to tell him that you didn't know what had you so down, you could just imagine the annoyed response he'd give. Sure, he loved you. You knew that. But he only had so much time, energy, and patience to give. If you didn't have anything to offer as a reason for your suffering, then you weren't worthy of the effort it took to console you.

"...Mc." Lucifer repeated your name, but the normal stern tone his voice would take when his brothers didn't respond to their name being called wasn't there. It was soft, laced only with concern and a desire to sooth.

"I...I dont know..." You glance to him uneasily as the tears slipped past your eyes. You close them, not wanting to look him in the eyes as you began to cry, feeling shameful for not having the words to explain your emotions, and for burdening the busy demon with your problems.

In an instant, Lucifer gathered you in his arms. He situated you in his lap so that he could cradle you close to his chest, letting your tears freely stain his freshly pressed suit. His thumb circled the center of your back, tracing the bumpy parts of your spine that stoof out slightly from the rest of your skin.

Your breaths caught in your throat as you tried to stop yourself from sobbing, but it only made the tears fall harder. You cursed yourself, not liking that you looked so pitiful in front of the Avatar of Pride. He surely must think you're a fool.

Squeezing your eyes shut tighter, you clung to him, scolding yourself for being such a mess. Your thoughts were mean- some down right abusive- as you chastised your inability to save face, and questioning your worth to the man who always sacrificed so much for you- and for what? So you can have a breakdown in his arms; blubbering incoherently because you can't place why you're just so fucking sad.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." your voice cracks as you mutter out the words into his chest. "I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, there's no reason to apologize." He cooed, barely resting his chin atop your head. "We needn't discuss what's causing your heartache right this instant. Take all the time you need."

He contunued rubbing circles into your back, rocking you ever-so gently side-to-side. Its during times like this that he wonders how you would feel if you could read his thoughts. Clearly, your lowly opion of yourself was projected onto him, while he saw you as his entire world. If you were hurting, then he was too. If he could, he would bring all three realms to their knees in order to protect you, and he wanted so desperately for you to believe that. He knew that after going so much of your life feeling nothing but animosity toward yourself would result in this knowledge taking a significant amount of time to seep in...but the desperation he felt in needing you to see what he saw when he looked at you was immense. Just once, he wished he could show you how much you meant to him- and to his family, as well. And he internally cursed the individual or individuals who made you believe you were worthless.

He took a shallow breath, humming contently as he gripped you tighter. For now, he needed to push that aside. What mattered now was that you needed him, no matter the reason. And when you needed him, he was there.

Always.

[atlantis-just-drowned]

HI OH MY GOD. i love your writing style for pluto sm, can i get headcanons for a reader like Eulalie ??? i love her sm <3 ty !!

A/N: Omg thank you so much Anon that's adorable!! I made this a gn!reader haha sorry if that wasn't what was intended-

Pluto x reader who's like Eulalie headcanons

Please reblog this post to show support! Reblogs are what keep me going!

Oh gosh you're his literal ray of sunshine

You don't even imagine, like

You're the optimist to his pessimistic side

Every time he sees you or hear you he can't help but feel like this world is suddenly a bit warmer and easier to live in

You make him smile

On a daily basis

He basically can't look at you without smiling

Even is he's in a bad mood his heart will melt a bit at your mere presence

I feel like he would be extremely protective of you too

Because you seem so oblivious he gets scared someone might trick you and hurt you :0

So as far as he's concerned, he's right by your side/behind you shooting death stares to any stranger who talks to you

Some will say he's creepy but to you this is the cutest thing in the world

He's your social support catboy

If you want some privacy tho he'll totally respect that and walk away

(but not without glancing at you with worried eyes for as long as he can see you)

But if he doesn't trust the person you're talking to, he'll stay close enough to be able to hear you if you scream or call for him

You know? Just in case anything happens

When he has a bad day he likes to hug you tight and hide his face in you chest or neck

Hug him back and he'll be in heaven

If you ask him what's going on he'll probably just mumble something unintelligible and hug you a little tighter

He likes your positivity and energy

But what he loves the most is to see you in a peaceful state

I'm talking, cuddling him or him cuddling you and you just

Close your eyes

And lay there

With his arms around you

Oh fuck oh shit oh damn he's so screwed his heart is melting inside

He would rather die on the spot than disturb you

He'll never say it out loud but in these moments he just hold you a little tighter and swear to himself that he'll protect you of harm and do everything to make sure you're happy

Even if your happiness doesn't include him, he wouldn't care as long as you stay as peaceful as you look right now for the rest of your life

He will. Literally. Never. Question. Anything that you say.

If you're in the middle of a dangerous situation and you ask him to bring you something

He won't say a word

He'll just do it

Even if it's absolutely useless

You have your reasons

And you must be granted what you asked for

I'm literally not kidding he would do anything you'd ask for, this little guy has an incredible determination

Even if he doesn't understand why you're asking something, he knows your mind functions a little differently from anyone else and he'll support you on that, no question asked

His only limit is that he won't harm himself or harm you in any way, shape or form. If you ask for something dangerous and one of you might get hurt because of it, he'll refuse

Also if you mess up with anything while getting focused on whatever you're doing, he'll make sure to clean up after you

You might not even notice it

But the next time you walk in the same hallway all of the knots you did with the curtains have been untied

Books are in alphabetical order again, no matter how many times you disorganize them

If you like to craft handmade things like necklaces or accessories he'll stay by your side and keep your materials organised

He likes to watch you while you're creating things, you look so sweet and relaxed

Sometime he'll chat with you while you're at it, but if you prefer to stay quiet he'll comply, silence doesn't bother him anyway

He'll remind you to pay attention to things too

Or if you forget you have something important to do

He'll be here to make sure you remember about it

Tho he'll feel a little sad if you forget about one of your dates but he'll understand really

On the other hand he finds it cute if you keep asking him just how long before your next date or hangout

The thought of you being somewhat impatient to spend time with him melts his heart inside <3

[seeminglydeathlessredshirt]

Ramblings on Bioshock Infinite

So, I've decided to start writing down how I feel about what I'm playing here rather than wait for my friends to be online so I can infodump at them.

Anyway, Bioshock: Infinite. The original was pretty alright. I didn't get all the way through it because I was getting a bit tired of Rapture and some other little annoyances, but it was a perfectly decent experience. Skipped past 2 because once again, not in the mood for spending a dozen more hours underwater, and went right to the one that people fuss about all the time to see what the fuss is all about.

I shouldn't have gone out of my way to see what all the fuss is about.

Spoilers for an 11-year old game will follow, but I do not recommend going out and checking this out yourself.

To its credit, the game does have a very strong opening. The welcome centre/church you arrive in offers absolutely gorgeous visuals and a strange yet interesting blend of Christian motifs and the weird sort of reverence built up around the founders of America. "Gee," I thought, "maybe this will be a game that finally tackles religion in an interesting and nuanced way that doesn't just feel like it was written by a 14-year old who just discovered Reddit." Unfortunately, it doesn't(if anyone knows a game that does, please let me know.) After a level where you walk around and take in the sights of Columbia(an experience that feels like walking into a veritable wasp nest. Either one, take your pick), you're thrust into your standard action game plot shenanigans. Kill a bunch of guys while someone rants at you over an intercom, go through various setpieces, all that good stuff.

Is the killing actually all that fun? For a certain stretch of the game, yes. You have some okay abilities, a good selection of weapons to choose from, and takedowns are pretty cool as well. The skyrails scattered around some maps are gimmicky, though a welcome addition(the irony of a game like this leaning heavily on what are basically rollercoasters is not lost on me.) But somewhere past the halfway point, it takes a steep nosedive. The weapon list gets bloated to hell and back, and a combination of the carry limit of two plus the tendency to only ever give ammo for everything you don't want to use drags it down. Enemies also seem to get substantially spongier and more numerous, which makes fights incredibly unsatisfying. Bioshock was already firmly in that grey area between immersive sim and combat sandbox, and Infinite is neither of those. Everything feels so much less versatile, there's no thinking outside the box to be done here.

As for the rest of the story, you may have heard about how centrist it gets, and I am sad to report that everything they said was true. What really gets me is how it's already setting up the "both sides are the exact same thing" even before the characters would have any reason to think that. They're literally basing this entire viewpoint off of "oh, the workers are being violent about overthrowing their oppressors, that's super bad, right????" This game also does try to tackle things like racism but I don't exactly have a good eye for whether or not something tackles that matter maturely, so all I'll say is that it feels very surface-level and inconsequential. "Inconsequential" can sum up everything else in this paragraph too because it's all eventually abandoned for !!Dimensional Shenanigans!! This is what the last few levels are taken up by entirely and all it accomplishes is covering over a weak attempt at social themes with an even weaker attempt at sci-fi themes. The ending is certainly a bit more batshit than you'd expect for your standard seventh-generation slop, but it can't salvage this. The fanservice just reminded me of a somewhat better game. I would make a joke about this game only having two characters, but then it goes out of its way to say "yes, there really are only two characters."

I am not playing the fucking DLCs.

[sillystringsimpsons]

@legstheoctomobster asked some questions about Johnny's age regression and my headcanons around it. I drafted a respose and for some fucking reason tumblr posted my draft. I panicked and deleted it (STUPID!) but that meant I lost the ask so I'm just taggin him here

HEY...! There's a really cute little frankie/johnny quickfic at the end of this post that you should skip to and read even if you're not interested in the detailed response :3

ANYWAY… THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING… Your questions mean the world to me lil bro 👽

So basically, Johnny’s experience with age regression is very much based off my own, not only because writing from experience allows me to make it better, but also because I don’t really hear much from involuntary/older little age regressors like me and like be the representation you want to see I guess.

When Johnny regresses, he retreats to around eight years old, the age of the primary traumatic experience he underwent. His memories and knowledge aren’t impacted at all (though there may be a very short transitional period of dissociated between the mental ages where he more or less experiences amnesia), but his motor skills, behaviours, and cognitive processes are significantly altered; meaning he struggles to communicate, and coordinate, and make full sense of the world around him, even though he knows where he is and what he’s doing.

By virtue of the D’Amico family structure, the boys don’t interact directly with Fat Tony so much as they do the underboss, his son, Softfoot Mikey. Johnny isn’t only ashamed and confused, he’s also too scared to let anybody onto it; it’s sad, but seeing the way Louie is treated after developing a cognitive disability frightens him. He’s able to mask himself, so there have yet to be any moments where he fully shuts down and is unable to function; to the untrained eye, his regressions look more or less like simple mood swings, and they’re passed off by Mikey and his fellow capos as not being anything significant. Mikey is a little bit concerned, though; he’s not aware of what it actually is, but deep down he knows something is going on.

The only person in the family who really knows is Frankie; thankfully for Johnny, he finds out at the point in his character art where he’s learning to keep his mouth shut about certain things. It happens during one of their errrr get-togethers: Johnny is triggered without warning and naturally begins screaming and panicking at the fact that a man in his late thirties is trying to kiss him. He’s in an extremely vulnerable position, so he struggles to mask and is basically outed about his regression to Frankie: but the two share a nice little moment that I’ve actually drafted out:

“Fuck, Johnny, whats the matter with you?”

“What…? F-franky,” Johnny uttered in a high-pitched groan, seemingly prompted by Frankie’s casual swearing. “Franky, you’re not a’sposed to say that word. S’… S’isn’t a good word, yous going to have your t-tongue eatin’ by coff’roaches.”

The last statement was spat with such vindication and offence that it became immediately apparent that Johnny was genuinely in the belief that his soldier was going to have his tongue eaten by cockroaches for using profane language. The taller's strange behaviours didn't stop there, however; he removed himself from Francesco's hold with strangely small movements- a frantic little shuffle that wound him up on the other side of his mattress, huddled up against the headboard in a crouched position that seemed to be intended to shut himself from the other man.

"What… What the shit-"

"Franky," whined Johnny without hesitation, voice frantic: like he was going to break out in tears of distress at any second. "I say- Said you ain't a'sposed ta' dire parolacce!"

Before the other could even begin to process Johnny's continued odd behaviour, he was hit in the head with one of his caporegime's hard, yellowing pillows. With the deliverer seemingly forgetting his own strength, the bedding was thrown with such force that Frankie has the wind pushed from his lungs, and nearly fell off the corner of the bed that he was seated on. Evidently, that was far from his intention: Giovanni immediately gave a small 'eep', paired with a puppy-eyed look of guilt.

"Okay, okay, jeez- Sorry, Gio," muttered the soldato, completely bemused in the sudden change in his normally stoic bosses demeanour. "I won't say no swears."

"…Do ya' mean it?"

"Yeah. On my ma, honest."

"O-okay, I believe you… Franky? Why's we in our underpants?"

"Why's we in our...? W-wha- I don't- Is this, like, what? A joke? ...Oh, Jesus, are you tryna' tell me you don't wanna' let me bang you no more?" Habit kicked in, and Frankie immediately launched into one of his characteristic bouts of frantic oversharing. "Gio- Johnny, is it because I'm real loud? I know it's a lot, but time before last, you said you liked the way I, u-um, 'whimpered': and, and I'd still been nervous, thinkin' maybe you was just fibbing to make me feel better about myself- and that- that maybe you was only lettin' me hit because I'm the only other guy outside the Dingo who's swinging like this - I think: so I asked Connie, and she's been tellin' me that girls actually like guys who make some noise- Course', yous not a girl, I just-"

"What? No-! Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, that is the most grossest thing I have ever heard, infinity times a billion!"

Giovanni threw his legs out from beneath him, kicking them around like a petulant child as he groaned quietly and covered both ears with cupped hands. His fingernails gripped so tightly into scalp, and he balled up his face so tightly at the Squealer's words that his face went a worryingly dark red. His partner immediately fell quiet at his borderline tantrum, eyes softening as he looked the panicking man over. Francesco wasn't quite sure exactly what was going on, but an unnamed realisation had clicked in his brain, and more or less. he understood that something beyond a normal breakdown was going on. With uncharacteristic quietude and hesitance, he shuffled a little closer to Tightlips, body language now geared inwards: as if he was trying to make himself less intimidating - and admittedly, less painfully half-naked.

"You ain't yourself right now, are you?"

"I don't know, Franky! Really, truly, honest to jeepers…"

"…T-that's okay, it's okay, you, um… You don't need to know." his words were inflicted upwards at their ends, as if they were questions, and he stuttered quietly as he spoke: all of it doing very little to hide the painful uncertainty in held his own actions. Frankie soldiered on, however, trying to work past his unsureness and get through to the frightened-looking Italian. "I, um, I reckon' you wanna' get dressed, don't you?"

"Uhhh… Yeah, yeh. Will you button my shirt for me, though, Franky? I'm not very much good with little buttons."

"What the- Nope, okay, it's okay; alright, uh- Y-yeah. Alright. I can help ya, Gio. Whatever ya' need right now."

they are... my life at this moment..

[drea-ms]

ミ★﹐THE PREFECT PAIR．﹗﹑ KYLE BROFLOVSKI

₊ ⊹ ⪩⪨ ┆ In which a small remark causes a bigger problem for the both of them. ( requested from old account )

warnings. asshole kyle. stans is yns twin. angst. happy ending. enemies to lovers? academical rivals to lovers. arguing. crying. long i think? grammar mistakes.

You never liked stan's friend group. Well, most of them, Kenny was alright, he was kind to you when he isn't flirting with you, but overall better than like most of them, Butters was a good friend, you knew that he was always a target in the group, but he doesn't get enough credit for taking care of the group.

The last two people were the ones you disliked the most were eric cartman (there's no reason to even talk about the things he's done) and Kyle Broflovski, you didn't know why you disliked him (you did) but you would never tell your twin that you hate his super best friend and that he hates you back, now would you?

When you met Kyle, you thought he was cute, nice and charming, (mind you were both in like 3rd when you officially met him). You don't know what you did to make him hate you, but ever since 3rd grade he would ignore you when you were around and wouldn't even talk to you, even when you were paired up. He always had his serious face when you around, and everyone around you felt bad for you. (including cartman.... surprisingly..)

So since then you two have been competing on almost everything. Grades? somehow you always beat him, Gym Class? You're both on opposite teams and are targeting each other, Anything else? you both were there and competing against each other. You didn't know how it started, but you both are stubborn enough to let it finish.

Today was not your day, everything went wrong and you don't even want to go through it, and guess what? Kyle was bothering you!! yay... right? Not really if he's been peering you since he's been getting frost stop in class recently. Non. Stop. And when the teacher told everyone that they'll be with a study partner, she chose you and Kyle.

So now here you were, in the library, stressed out your mind and with the guy you really dislike. He was talking your head off, you weren't really paying attention, mostly reading the text that was assigned and writing down your notes until–

"Are you even listening? You stopped writing down notes and you're still reading the text? are you even understanding the lesson?" oh. he was talking to you, you turn and face him, he looked mad (at least to you), and well you being in a mood you said, "Unlike you, I can multitask and understand things when I'm given a timlimit, you on the other hand, seem to only write notes on the 'important parts' of the text." you said giving a 'smile' and went back to your work.

"Shut up. At least I'm not zoning out. That's all you've been doing, haven't you Marsh? You know since you've been losing yourself and slipping. How would people think of you? The infamous Yn Marsh and her grades slipping into the dumpster—" "Can you like shut up!? Is that all your good for? making fun of your best friends twin sister because you're not in first place?!? How much stupid can you get Kyle!?!?" crying, you were crying. You didn't know when you started to cry but you knew you were going to leave the library. So you left.

You went to your locker, getting your things and trying to rush out of there, not want to see any one at the moment until you heard someone running at you, "Yn? Yn!" It was Kyle fucking Brofloski. You continued to ignore him until he made you turn around and face him, "Where are you going?" "Home. now leave me alone. I'll ask the teacher if we can switch partners tomorrow." you say trying to get off his grip. "Um- look, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I know it was wrong of me to treat you like that today, hell since we were kids." he looked sad? maybe pity for you

"I know you won't accept my apology, but please trust me when I say I mean this." What? What was he saying? You try to say something when he cuts you off, "I don't know whether it recently or if I have been in denial since forever, but I really like you, I don't know how it started or when, but please give me a chance to court you, to start over again and make sure that I don't fuck it up again, just please." he looked at you like he was going on his knees and beg for you.

You don't say anything for a while until he hear the words he wanted to hear,

"Two Months. I'm giving you two months to court me and start fresh again. You fuck it and we're done."

"Anything for you, love"

NAO SPEAKS? bro i checked my notes app and found out i saved all of my requests 🙈🙈🙈 expect more coming soon 🫶🫶🦶

[cephalotyrant]

Hiiiiiiiiii so. Azurido bodyswap.

Think about it; these two housewardens who constantly seem to be bickering, and then one day during a joint alchemy class they accidentally swap bodies...

Azul trying to run heartslabyul and hastily memorizing all the queens' rules; speaking of i had a sudden thought do you think azul would learn the rules for riddle after they start dating so he can easily come over to heartslabyul and follow all the rules teehee anyways back on topic Azul is mentioned to have less magic capacity so im imagining him being like "okay yeah this kid's currently on a murderous rampage buuuut do I REALLY need off with your head rn why can't i just assert my dominance with words or some shit works with floyd" (i'l never forget that time azul made floyd kneel as punishment... sad moment)

And then Riddle... bless his heart he's too much of a reasonable honest person for octavinelle's bs he's like "stop scamming students" and they're like "um ACKSHUALLY you see the free market and blah blah blah-" Riddle can't behead them anymore because azul doesn't have that power (loser) so he's just like -_- waiting for them to stop talking please oh please what he wouldn't do for them to shut the fuck up-

also weird thought riddle out of instinct trying to cast owyh and then accidentally activating the true form of it's a deal and just... knocking a bunch of guys out cold. and his glasses. he hates them bc they keep getting foggy.

speaking of glasses azul keeps trying to push them up except they dont exist fuckin L hah hah everybody point and laugh

and riddle's high heels... azul falls over (point and laugh part 2)

anyways getting a bit more serious I do feel like azul and riddle do have more similarities in leadership style (like how azul's canonically very irritable with octavinelle students and ortho mentions it's actually quite rare to see him in a good mood just like riddle) so... poor heartslabyul guys aren't catching a break just yet. Except instead of being collared it's just like "shut the fuck up travis this is why you're poor" "3.8 gpa santocruz??? I think you mean 1.8 because those tabloids could only be written by a FUCKING IDIOT" (i'm joking PLEASE DONT KILL ME I MERELY JEST besides we all know azul probably tries to seem uber classy so he wouldn't swear)

meanwhile octavinelle students have never seen such rage... even more scarily... HONESTY AND STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS (an octavinelle student's worst nightmare)

Anyways Riddle and tweel interactions here are just so funny if this is before floyd realizes the truth because it's like

"Lemme squeeze you, goldfishie!"

"Riddle" has NO REACTION. ICE COLD.

And then "Azul" waltzes in and is like "Floyd why how could you do this that is highly improper!!!!!!!"

Ofc "Riddle's" like "so i owe you now" bc azul wants riddle in his debt lmaooo

Azul keeps trying to find riddle's weakness... but it goes wrong...

Short scene:

Azul gazed into the mirror of Heartslabyul's bathroom, looking at every new detail at this new face of his. Riddle's face. He was looking for weaknesses. Yes, weaknesses, as dastardly as it seemed.

Like - how those soft, sun-kissed cheeks were likely sensitive to light, and how those gorgeous little heart-shaped tufts of hair often added to Riddle's poutiness, and-

Wait, why was Riddle's face growing redder in the mirror all of a sudden?

Womp womp azul you're gay for him

Anyways they turn back and it all gets found out blah blah... Azul saying the most down-bad shit when he thinks no one can hear like "riddle-san looks even prettier from up close" jade and floyd overhear his little mumble he never leaves it down...

and riddle... is hyperfixating over azul's moles. he knew about the one on his chin but there's MORE??? On The neck? The COLLARBONE??? He never undressed (neither did azul bc they were swapped for a pretty short time so it was pretty easy not to as just... yk a respect/consent thing) but while adjusting his tie and stuff he noticed. He is now freaking out over it to Trey. Why does he care??? When can he sign up to kiss them??? More on seven.

OOOOOOAAAAAGHHHHHH BARK BARK BARK BARK GRRR MOEWWW HISSS CRASH BOOM MY LEG!!!

Memorizing the rules would be a DAUNTING ass task bro. But Azul is up to it and I bet he memorized them just for fun at one point so he could find all the loopholes (and rub them in riddles face) funnily enough, Heartslabyul is confuse because it seems like Riddle has gotten... sharper? Some clock him immediately as wrong (ADTC)-- Riddle often stands stiffly and probably has a resting bitch face, let's be real. but now the way he stands is almost looser, more fluid, his body more expressive, flexing his hands. In his attempt to follow the rules, Azul IMMEDIATELY calls out someone using a loophole. But for today, he'll let it slide-- but I better not catch you doing that again, else there will be consequences. (He means Jade and Floyd it was on instinct) Even the way he SPEAKS is different, and why is he talking about himself so much? Don't get started on the moment Azul is mentioned-- why is he suddenly avoiding speaking any bad about Azul Ashengrotto? They were at each other's throats just this morning!

He feels weirdly frail. Not only does he lack his octo-stength, he has to look up at absoloutely everyone! And these heels are ridiculous! Of course, he's heard all about Riddle boasting that the dorm uniform being a replica of the first housewarden of Heartslabyul, but he could have omitted SOME details. The way everyone straightens their back when they hear the clacking of his heels, though... that's quite nice. It's hard not to powertrip.

I'm not going to get into it I'm not going to get into it I'm not-- FUCK. He can't help but be envious of the complete lack of fat on Riddle's body, the way his uniform cinched his waist just right. Perhaps there were some benefits of being so small... And there's a constant dull ache in his dominant hand. Seriously, for someone raised for a future in medicine, he doesn't appear to be taking care of himself very well! Maybe he'll snoop about the room for a diary, finding a drawer full of letters from a very particular woman-- and leave the investigation there. Funnily enough, it fills him with the urge to write his own letter to his own mother... he hasn't spoken to her in a while.

At least the bed is fantastic? Let's just hope Trey doesn't walk in while he's giggling and wrapping himself up burrito-style into the blankets.

Azul (Riddle) back at Octavinelle seems like he's one moment away from a STROKE. So much so that every few moments red rings swirl in his eyes-- his last straw being the fourth pencil he breaks in a row. Since when has Azul been this strong!? Does his dishonest nature extend to taking steroids?? He's going to have a VERY long talk with him later! His glasses keep getting smudged and sliding down his nose, and Azul's layered clothing was so ridiculously heavy-- being of average height is kind of nice, though.

Jade and Floyd clock him as NOT AZUL right away I fear... though it is a little funny to watch Azul's body throw a tantrum and stomp his feet. They freak out, however, when Riddle realizes he has the strength to preperly defend himself... not good. If he can't behead them, he can go physical. Really, he's not fit at all to run Mostro or do deals atp... but Jade and Floyd think it'd be funny if he fucked some up. He's rather impressed by how such a busy establishment runs so smoothly, and the employees, namely, the waiters, are rather polite. They stand straight and speak clearly... Azul’s done quite well.

THE MOLES ARGH...

—

Finally. A respite from the endless things that needed his attention– as the housewarden of Heartslabyul, he was used to tending issues left and right, but this experience, being trapped in Azul’s body, had stretched his patience thin. Azul, truly, had his fingers in far too many pies.

Discarding anything the Octavinelle housewarden wore on the regular would have been improper, though it certainly didn’t prevent him from complaining about it. The layers of the dorm uniform were oppressive, to put it lightly– even his cape, for how it dragged across the ground, wasn’t nearly as heavy. The cummerbund was too tight to be considered remotely comfortable. He abandons it on the chair in front of the vanity.

He tugs on silky purple fabric to undo the bowtie, the thing having gone crooked, most likely from when he undid the suspenders or pulled off the jacket. It’s always satisfying to allow one’s neck to breathe at the end of the day–

Eh?

Right there, not too far from under the collar, is a culmination of small dark spots. Three, in fact. And just when he peels back the collar to get a better look at them, there’s another one, right there, on his collarbone!

Experimentally, he runs a finger over them. They’re just spots of pigment… so why do they make his breath hitch and his face warm so?

The door beside the vanity swings open without warning, causing him to jump and squeeze the collar shut in alarm, crumpling the, no doubt, expensive fabric. He curses, seeing one of two tall eel mermen at the door.

“Are you accustomed to coming in unannounced?”

Jade smiles, half concealing it with a hand. “Oh my. Look at you, you already sound so much like our dearly departed Azul.”

“D– dearly departed!? He’s in my body, not deceased!”

[george-weasleys-girl]

Ahhhh Freddie requests ❤️ Could I possibly request Fred doing something similar to the scene from "10 Things I Hate About You". The part with Heath Ledger singing to her. Please and congrats!

Opposites Attract - Pt. 5

Song: It had to be You - Frank Sinatra

Sorry it took sooo long. I've been holding on to this request since January just for the series finale.

Fred's POV

Three weeks.

Three weeks had passed since they'd last spoke. Three weeks since Y/N had even acknowledged his presence.

Fred had not thought it possible to miss someone so much. She haunted his thoughts and his dreams relentlessly. And even though he no longer tried talking to her, he'd find himself sneaking peeks at her during mealtimes and in potions class or scanning the hallways for a momentary glimpse of her.

It was driving him crazy.

"I need to do something," Fred mumbled while he and George headed to lunch. "Something grand."

"Need to do something about what?"

"Y/N," Fred sighed. "I need to get her back, but she won't even look at me."

"Ah," George replied. He should've known. His poor brother had been distracted and depressed ever since Y/N had broken up with him. "What did you have in mind?"

"No clue," he answered. "But it's got to be something big and unique and special. Something that says I'm sorry, and I still love her."

George nodded. "Nothing comes to mind at the moment. But I'll help you brainstorm tonight after dinner."

"Thanks, mate," Fred replied. "That'd be great. Godric knows I need all the help I can get."

~•~

Y/N's POV

Y/N watched Fred out of the corner of her eye. He and George had just entered the Great Hall. Merlin, she missed him. She hated herself for missing him so much.

"Just go talk to him," Beth whispered.

Y/N shook her head. "No."

"It's obvious that you miss him."

"Just because I miss somebody doesn't mean I should let them back into my life," Y/N huffed. "I've told you he said."

"Yes, you did," Beth responded. "And I told you that you were overreacting."

"I'm not overreacting!" Y/N asserted louder than she intended, causing quite a few faces to turn her way. Much to her relief, she was too far away for her voice to reach the ears of a certain redhead.

"Fine, suit yourself," her friend rolled her eyes and went back to eating her lunch.

Y/N sighed. She'd told her best mates about what Fred had said and they all told her the same thing.

"You're overreacting."

"You let your emotions control you."

"You really should talk to him."

~•~

Would they still say the same, she wondered, if they knew about her talk with Snape? She hadn't told anyone about that conversation. Not because she thought it should be particularly secret, but because deep down, she knew they would still say the same thing. Then she'd have to admit Snape was wrong and, therefore, she was wrong. And she wasn't ready to admit that she'd fucked up. That she'd been stupid idiot.

Snape's POV

"You seem downright chipper these days," McGonagall observed Snape's unprecedented grin.

Snape was quite pleased with himself. He'd succeeded in saving his star pupil from making a terrible mistake. Sure, she was sad, and that was regrettable. But that was to be expected in these situations, and besides, Y/N would be over the dim-witted dolt in no time.

"It will soon be summer break," he said simply.

It was true that he always looked forward to the summer and two months of freedom from the feckless peanut gallery. But that was only part of the reason for his uncharacteristic good mood.

"Mmph," McGonagall watched her usually somber colleague for a moment more, certain he must've slipped and hit his head recently.

~•~

Fred's POV

It was well past midnight when Fred threw his hands in the air. "This is hopeless. Everything's been so overdone."

George sighed and flopped back on his bed. Every suggestion he'd come up with, Fred had shot down. "So what? Just pick one and put your Fred Weasley flair to it. You'll do great."

"Or I could just give up."

"Or you just sing her song." The groggy voice of his other roommate Lee drifted across the room.

"What?" Fred stared at his friend.

"You have a decent singing voice," Lee explained. "Sing her a song."

Fred looked at George, who only shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

A smile broke out across Fred's face. "Alright, that's what I'll do! Ok so the first thing we need to do - "

"Is go to sleep!" George and Lee said simultaneously.

"We can work out the details tomorrow after we've had some sleep," George added with a yawn.

"Oh, yeah, right. Good idea," Fred replied with a sheepish grin.

~•~

Y/N's POV

As Y/N entered the Great Hall for dinner, her eyes flickered over instinctively to the spot where Fred usually sat, surprised to find that neither he nor George were there. She quickly scanned the room, thinking they were maybe seated elsewhere for some reason.

There was no sign of them anywhere. Worry settled like a stone in the pit of her stomach. They never missed a meal. Ever. Y/N chewed her bottom lip, her mind racing through all the different reasons they might be absent. Then, giving their vacant spot one final glance, she sat down and attempted to eat.

"I think I'm going to call it an early night," Y/N told her friends. "I don't much of an appetite tonight."

Ignoring their protests, Y/N stood to go and froze at the sound of music. She looked around, trying to find the source, when suddenly the soft melody rose to fill every corner of the Great Hall, silencing everyone, even the teachers.

It was only then that Y/N saw members of the orchestra filing into the hall, wide grins on every single face.

And then she heard him.

Fred.

Was he... singing?

Suddenly, he leaped up onto the far end of the Gryffindor table, his eyes locked on her as he sung...

Why do I do just as you say

Why must I just give you your way

Why do I sigh, why don't I try to forget

It must have been that something lovers call fate

Kept me saying I have to wait

I saw them all, just couldn't fall, 'til we met

It had to be you

With every word, he waltzed down the center of the table.

It had to be you

I wandered around, and I finally found

The somebody who

Could make me be true

And could make me be blue

Just to be sad - thinking of you

And even be glad

He jumped, landing firmly on the Slytherin table. They all stared at him, their mouths hanging open as he continued to make his way toward her.

Some others I've seen

Might never be mean

Might never be cross, or try to be boss

But they wouldn't do

Y/N heart raced as he moved to stand across from her, smiling down at her stunned face from atop Slytherin table.

For nobody else gave me a thrill

With all your faults, I love you still

It had to be you

Wonderful you

It had to be you

Fred jumped down, standing inches from her, his brown eyes sparkling with hope.

For nobody else gave me a thrill

With all your faults, I love you still

It had to be you

Wonderful you

It had to be you

"So, what do say, Y/N?" Fred spoke softly. "Give me a second chance?"

Y/N nodded, barely able to see through the tears blurring her vision. "Yes! Yes, of course I will!"

She hadn't even gotten the last word out when he swept her up into his arms and into a kiss that set her head spinning.

~•~

The hall erupted into cheers. Even the Slytherins. All save one.

Snape's POV

Well, fuck.

~•~

Epilogue

"I just got you back, and now you're going away," Fred pouted.

"It just two weeks," Y/N said, trying to convince herself just as much as her boyfriend. "We can survive two weeks."

"Two weeks is forever."

"It's fourteen days," she corrected.

"That's even longer."

Y/N giggled and stood on her tiptoes to give him a peck on the nose.

"Oi Fred!" George's voice interrupted, reverberating above the hubbub of the train station. "You're gonna make her late for her cousin's wedding."

Fred shot him the bird, causing his twin to burst out with a loud guffaw, startling a few passers-by.

"It's still a week away," Fred whined, turning back to Y/N.

"I'll write you every day," she promised.

"And I'll write you back even more."

Y/N smiled. "I love you, Fred Weasley."

"I love you too," he said, leaning in for a kiss, as an impish grin spread across his face. "Now, my sweet, let's make everyone jealous."

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @fredweasleyyyyy @hufflepuffie @alexistonks @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @smallsweetvanillabean @costheticbabe @thatonepersonwhocantwrite @charmedfandomgal @loveosewood @gobringmemyfood @kiwi5335

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Reborn Again (and again and again)

(Sanzu's bday fic with tones of angst)

(Bonten HaruMai)

It's been a while since I posted my fics here bc no spoons kept my away of tumblr ( I'm gonna try to post all of them and they are always on ao3!)

But.... Sanzu Haruchiyo birthday seems like the perfect occasion for this!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LIL PINK GREMLIN, I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND YOU DESERVE THE WORLD! (but I'm gonna give you angst and a lap full of Mikey, oopsie?)

(link to ao3 in case someone wants to read it there)

Summary: Sanzu remembers his last birthday, bittersweet memories that keep his delusions afloat.

And of course, he'll never lose his faith in his king.

(even when Mikey's eyes are completely devoid of all emotion)

Warnings: Manga Spoilers (Bonten timeline, so yeah), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Suicide, Mental Health Issues (issues is an understatement xD), Toxic Codependent Relationship, Heavily Depressed Mikey, Burn Out Sanzu, Unrequited Delusional Love, and idk, is Bonten they are so totally not fine and it shows, okay?

Yeah, this fic is an emotional roller coaster, it felt like it writing it and is not less of it as a reader (or I've been told that). Oh, Sanzu is sad and horny bc you can't tell me Bonten Mikey has energy to fuck (or live)

There is a part of the fic inspired on this art, bc Mikey sleeping on Haru's lap is for some reason precious to me 💜

Sanzu was bored, his feet kept tapping the ground, his mind drifting far away from here. He should be paying attention to his surroundings, guarding the building where his king was. 

Instead, he was lost in the memories of his last birthday, almost one year ago. Wondering if it would be different this time, if Mikey remembered his promise. He shook his head, immediately feeling guilty for daring to doubt it. Of course he did, Sanzu was only feeling insecure, nothing new. 

(He had to repeat it as many times as necessary, to convince himself that Mikey’s eyes had not been completely devoid of all emotion for more than a month)

To be fair, the fact that Hangaki didn’t represent any type of threat to his king, wasn’t helping him focus on the present or to keep his thoughts from wandering back to the previous year.

Sanzu was having a shitty day. That wasn’t exactly unusual lately, he had become more and more tired during the last years few months. Exhausted would be the right word, but he couldn’t afford to rest, to even entertain the possibility that he should delegate some of his responsibilities to others if he didn’t want to end up completely burned out. But of course, he couldn't trust anyone else to perform his duties, so Sanzu was forced to continue stretching himself thin.

(If he was more honest with himself, he could admit that he had been falling apart for way too long. But he wasn’t, he couldn’t)

Whatever. He was used to it. He’s handled this weariness before — today wasn’t unique. He was a grown ass man, who definitely wouldn’t throw a tantrum just because everyone forgot it was his birthday. And twenty-seven wasn’t a memorable number either, so who cared? 

This was just Sanzu being salty, tonight's job took up more time than he anticipated, so he had to see Takeomi’s ugly face for way too long. Yeah, it was totally unrelated to the pang of jealousy he felt when he overheard the older man explaining to Kakucho how this week was special, since the anniversary of Senju’s death was close. He wasn’t that pathetic, to hold a grudge because, even now, his sister kept hogging all the attention.

(What sister? Sanzu was an only child, his own mind was playing tricks to him again)

He sighed, using his own set of keys to open the door of Mikey’s penthouse and trying to be as silent as possible. He was fully aware his king wouldn’t be sleeping — it was getting harder each day to convince him to even try it.

It was better to be quiet anyway, at least, until he had a clue of which mood he was going to find. Would it be one of those days of empty glares and cold words, where he was only ‘Sanzu’? Or…

“Haruchiyo?”

A weak whisper, but more than enough for him to quickly locate the source. Mikey was sitting on the sofa, completely in the dark except for the dim light that came through the window, proving the outside world was still there, uncaring and merciless. 

“Hey… I’m back.”

His heart sank when he got closer, finally noticing Mikey’s puffy eyes and his tear-streaked cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to comfort him, caress his beautiful face and erase any trace of pain in it. But he knew better. Years of walking on broken glass around his lover taught him better.

(Was ‘lover’ the right word? When he had to repress his own feelings, pretending there was no love in order to stay by Mikey’s side? Probably not)

“What’s wrong?” 

He asked cautiously, sitting on the nearest armchair. Mikey blinked a couple of times, looking at him in awe, almost like he was processing that Sanzu was really here.

“I thought you wouldn’t come tonight.” 

There was no point in reminding him that he could just text or call —that no matter what he was doing, Sanzu would leave it in a heartbeat to run to his king's side. Mikey was fully aware of it, but he refused to show this type of weakness.

“I’ll always come back to you, Mikey.”

He gave him a soft smile, hoping it was somehow reassuring. It seemed to work, considering the next moment he had a lap full of Mikey, wrapping his arms around Haruchiyo’s neck and hiding his face in it. He didn’t have to think twice before hugging him back and gently pulling the thin body closer.

“I’m sorry, the deal took longer than I thought.” 

A noncommittal hum was the only answer he received,  another sign that Mikey cared less every day about his own organization. It was fine, Sanzu could keep the gears turning and perfectly greased, waiting until his king was ready to step back in the game and take what was rightfully his. 

“But I’m here now, I’m right here…” 

His voice dripped with affection, his touch conveying the same feeling as he started to play with the white locks. The soft caresses spoke louder than the words he’ll never say. It was fine — he was good at hiding parts of himself, burying it with all his secrets.

(So many secrets, weighing him more every day, slowly drowning him until he couldn’t recognize his own reflection)

“You are.” Mikey finally lifted his head, looking at him like he was trying to figure out something. “Even if this morning…”

“No idea what you’re talking about.” 

It was a lie, they both knew it. Of course he remembered how detached his king had been, how disgusted he looked by his weak attempt at cuddling. The cold voice, clearly commanding him to disappear from his sight. ‘Don’t you have work to do, Sanzu?’

It was a lie, one of the many he carefully crafted for Mikey’s sake. There was no need to dwell on it when Sanzu wanted to comfort him, not burden him with guilt. Especially when the cause was his own inability to hide his stupid hopes and desires. 

“Apparently about nothing.”

“Yep, nothing at all.” He repeated, softly brushing a strand of hair out of Mikey’s eyes and kissing his forehead, earning a simper in return.

Wait, what? A smile? A coy one, small and probably easy to miss for anyone else. But not for him, Sanzu was able to spot the most subtle change in his king’s expression, and this wasn’t subtle. A genuine smile on Mikey’s face? And thanks to him? 

Sanzu’s inner turmoil disappeared. The fatigue that he constantly carried with him was gone too. Just like that, a simple gesture from his king, made everything better, all the problems more than worth it as long as it meant protecting these rare moments of happiness.

(A necessary reminder of why he kept fighting, always so restless, refusing to let go, reinventing himself over and over)

He leaned in to cross the small distance between their lips, kissing him slowly, wanting to savor the moment. There was no rush for once, and even if he longed for more, even if his body reacted to the closeness and the familiar taste, he knew too damn well Mikey’s libido had been practically nonexistent lately. 

No matter how much he yearned to go further, he’d take whatever his king offered to him without presumptions. For now, Sanzu was content with the way Mikey’s lips parted, allowing his tongue to explore freely. He couldn’t stop himself from moaning inside the kiss, realizing he sounded too desperate. 

Damn it, when was the last time they actually had sex? He couldn’t recall when it was, but he could clearly see the memories – the way Mikey whimpered in his ear, his body pressed against the shower wall… 

Fuck, he had to calm down before his own neediness tarnished this moment doing something stupid — Like pressing Mikey’s warm body down onto his growing erection, bucking his hips slightly, rubbing himself just enough to feel the friction against that tight ass he adored so much… Stop it, brain!

“Sorry…”

Sanzu pulled away from the kiss with a flustered face, looking at Mikey with glossy eyes and pressing their foreheads together, still catching his breath. 

“Why are you apologizing, Haruchiyo?” There was a sad undertone in his voice that didn't go unnoticed. “It’s me, I can’t even give you that, you should…” 

“Don’t go there.” He gently placed a finger in front of the other’s lips. “I don’t need it, okay? I can live perfectly fine without fucking.”

“But you want it.” Mikey deadpanned. 

“Of course I do, because you’re gorgeous and I can’t help feeling attracted to you.” He gave him a soft peck. “And that’s on me, you don’t owe me anything, alright? Having you in my arms like this is already the best birthday gift I could ever wish for.”

“What?!” 

“Nothing.” It was too late — he knew as soon as he saw Mikey’s eyes widening in a mix of surprise and clarity.

“Fuck, it’s July… That’s not nothing!” He groaned in frustration. “Did you get to celebrate it at least?” 

Judging by the way Mikey looked at him, the answer to this was probably written in his face. That was the exact reason why he didn’t tell him, to absolve him of the guilt, to prevent him from falling deeper into self-loathing. 

“It’s okay, we can still celebrate it together if you want-”

“It's not even your birthday anymore.” 

His rage was icy cold, Sanzu was sure the temperature of the whole room dropped a few degrees. Suddenly he was freezing, despite the anger not being directed at him for once. 

“Then we don’t? It’s not a big deal, really, there will be other occasions. It happens every year, right?” His gaze stared at him with disbelief. “What? I’m serious, I don’t need some fancy ass shit, this is already perfect.”

“Haruchiyo…” Whatever his king wanted to say, the way Sanzu hugged him tighter seemed to change his mind. Instead, he sighed, burying his face on the crook of his neck. “Fine. Next year?”

“Next year it is.” 

He started to stroke his hair once again, wanting to leave this conversation behind. It was true, his day got infinitely better the moment Mikey sat on his lap and hugged him. Sanzu couldn’t ask for more, because there was nothing but him.

“I won’t forget it, I promise.” 

Sanzu gasped at the honesty in those words, a lump in his throat that threatened to make him cry, touched by his king making a promise to him. It wasn’t going to happen, he couldn’t put his own burden on Mikey, it was his to bear alone. 

(Alone and isolated inside of his own mind)

“I know you won’t Mikey, I believe in you.” 

He whispered with raw devotion. He will never lose his faith in Mikey, because as long as his king kept breathing… Everything was possible. 

Sanzu smiled softly, melting slightly with the memory of how Mikey ended falling asleep on his lap, of how he made sure to stay still, to not interrupt the other’s dreams. If he closed his eyes, he could see how perfect Mikey looked when he woke up hours later, well rested for once. The way his face lit up when he saw that Sanzu was still there, hugging him for hours and making sure he was comfortable. He could even feel the lingering sensation of his lips on his own… Damn it, how could he miss Mikey so much when they were almost living together?

(It was due to Mikey fading in front of him, disappearing somewhere out of his reach. No, he couldn’t admit that)

He sighed, frustrated with himself. He was doing it again, yearning instead of being grateful for what he was given. 

A sudden change in the white noise from nearby pedestrians forced him to snap out of his inner turmoil. He lifted up his head, scanning the surroundings to find the source of the commotion. 

Sanzu’s eyes widened with panic, the world went silent. Except for the echo of his own delusions shattering into thousand pieces, ringing in his ears for a split second that lasted for ages.

“Mikey?!!”

[purple-chaos-clown]

Demons' Emotions & Body Language

Because why the hell not talk about something that has probably been written/talked about a hundred times before? XD I'm in the mood to write about Mephisto because my brain is occupied by thoughts of him in some way 99% of the time.

This was spurred on by once again seeing Mephisto's great teeth appreciation and it reminded me of how much I actually love looking at his facial expressions in general.

He's just so fucking good at expressing himself, lol. And then I begin to wonder...

How much of it is staged/faked/put on, how much comes natural to him? If even at all?

Did he have a period where he tested out all the different facial expressions humans tend to make in certain situations? Did he go and study them? Is it like a game for him? Knowing the Human-Emotions-101 better than even humans themselves, just to have even more power and control over his cute toys?

^Ch. 46 We know he's a little stalker gremlin, so people watching is one of his greatest hobbies - it would certainly help him out with accurately mimicking their body language.

Did he have a rough time when he first started to make contact with humans face to face? :( Because I know that even humans struggle with body language and facial expressions. Totally not looking at me, who's often laughing and smiling, simply hoping it's appropriate because I often don't fully understand what's going on. :')

Considering Mephisto is a pro at acting all human or demon (depending on which outcome he wants to reach, making certain behaviors necessary to manipulate everyone's actions) with how much time he has spent with humans and his obsession with them and their creations...

What is it like for all the demons possessing human bodies?

Amaimon seems to struggle a lot using the muscles in his face, if that side-story panel is anything to by. XD

Moving a sack of flesh can be rough, buddy. I feel you there, my resting bitch face often scares strangers and I have to always check in to make sure I don't look as dead as I feel.

Amaimon is obviously able of actually showing emotions, evident in the manga, but I think there's one he expresses more often than others: anger.

Thinking of anger... There's Satan.

^Ch. 105 Before he came into (regular) contact with Yuri he could only show anger when threatened/searching for Yuri. All other expressions seem to have been actively taught to him over a certain span of time.

Same with Rin when he was born.

^Ch. 109 Though the threatening circumstances might have triggered/amplified that little ugly burning potato's anger. :x

Looking towards Lucifer is pretty much the same, though his anger is often more of the hidden kind and not as openly expressed. Same with Mephisto though. Maybe it's their age (though their behavior doesn't exactly reflect maturity, both of them are brats in their own rights) or simply who they inherently are.

The rest of the demon kings are... definitely emotional and expressive too, which is weird because why would they feel the need to mimic human behaviors and expressions? (Might be reason for another ramble, this post is already so much longer than I intended for it to be XD)

In conclusion...

All of it makes me think that anger is the one emotion that demons might inherently feel and express, anything beyond is something they need to actively learn about over time.

Which is incredibly sad the more I think about it.

I also think most demons (possessing human bodies) have to consciously think about what kind of facial expression/body language goes along with whatever they're feeling - if they want to outwardly express them.

Do they even feel the need to do that in the first place though? And if yes, why? Considering they don't have bodies in Gehenna, it wouldn't make much sense for them to inherently have some body language if they don't have bodies that support it, would it?

And yet we've seen how feral demons can be, Rin is a prime example when he gets overwhelmed by his demon side. All snarling, showing teeth and growling and it's something I (and many other people) love incorporating in our writing all the time because feral demons and the way they threaten each other is just peak content that I desperately need to continue living. XD