#if you ask me about why i'm getting my masters in library science i will stare at you with the void of infinite darkness in my eyes

[peach-and-bugs]

hii, jackie anon again back with another rq ^^ could you do dialogue 18 w/ jackie taylor if it's not too much trouble?

🐇Unadulterated Loathing - Jackie Taylor (1996) x fem!Reader🐇

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: You could never understand why everyone in your school seemed to hold sweet Jackie Taylor up on some gold-plated pedestal. After all, she was just like every other pretty, popular, well-off teen girl, right? And highly doubt you're opinion of her will change after you're stuck working on your big Ap bio final with her...

Warnings: angst, but a happy ending, mildly suggestive yet tame humor

Word Count: 3,875

A/N: wow, this was way longer than I planned for it to be. Quick note: So I'm headcanons that Wiskayok High School/school district is kind of like how my school district works, where there is more than one elementary school, but the kids all come together and go to the same middle school. so y/n and Jackie didn't know one another till middle school. As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading! 🐇

Jackie Taylor Tag List:

Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf @minimickzy @damagnificentcookie

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🐇-

Ap Bio had become both your favorite and least favorite class in you’re schedule. On the one hand, You’d always had a fondness for science, but there was just something special about biology. It clicked in a way that no other subject did for you. You also loved your teacher to the point of often staying behind during lunch to continue talking about whatever you’re class topic had been. But now, the problem of your lab partner has arisen. Jackie Taylor, Wiskayok High School’s sweetheart, has been assigned as your new lab partner for the last quarter of the year. You were stuck with the queen bee for the entire final quarter working with her on your big bio final, and you were ready to slam you’re head into a wall.

Jackie had never done anything to you. You had no idea if she knew you existed till now. But you couldn’t help not liking her. There was just something about that shiny smile and the way the curls in her hair always laid perfectly over her shoulders that got under your skin. But she hadn’t done anything to make you not like her, and that alone just made you more irritated with her. 

She didn’t start a conversation right away when she sat next to you after you’re new assignment together. Your group was assigned to look into the effect of different types of hormones on gene expression, which wouldn’t be too difficult, and if you’d like, you could probably do all the work on your own. That would be good in case Jackie turned out to be one of those girls who expected you, the class nerd, to do the project anyways. You’d had that happen a few times now in group projects, so what’s one more time, right? 

You were listening to your teacher go over the guidelines for the assignment and show you examples from the past few years. You periodically scribbled down notes for future reference. After a bit of time, you began watching the clock, leaning your cheeks against your palm with an unintentionally pointing lip as you waited for the bell to ring. You wanted to leave class today, unlike most days. Maybe you’d hide in the library with your lunch and read up on your topic to get a headstart on the project. You decided it was better to assume you’d be doing it all on your own from the jump than to be blindsided, right? 

But as you waited for the bell, watching the hands of the clock tick away, your gaze began to wander. First, you watched the jock at the table next to the door, trying not to fall asleep. Then you moved on to the girl behind him reading a romance novel behind her textbook till you faltered again to Jackie sitting at your right. She was scribbling away in her notebook, honey-blonde hair obstructing any meaningful view of her face. The lined paper of her notebook had notes written in curly, clean handwriting, yet the margins were littered with doodles of flowers and bunnies. She was currently scribbling away at one of her doodles, having grown tired of notes the same as you. 

She only caught sight of your staring when the bell rang. Startled out of your haze by the clanging sound you'd waited for, you blinked, swallowing hard when you’re suddenly met with her bright hazel eyes as she brushed that hair that had been in her face out of the way and behind her ear. You felt your eyes widen as you sat frozen, but only for a second before you frantically started packing away your things into your backpack like the rest of your classmates. You could feel her stare, but she said nothing. That is, till she shook out of her daze. 

“Uh, hey-” she started as you began to leave. You’d hustled to the door but stopped at the sound of her voice, leaving you standing awkwardly by the door, hands clutching the strap of your backpack tight. “Do you wanna plan to meet up and work on the project?” she asked as she packed her notebook away into her bog, periodically looking up and back at you as she undid the zipper. You were surprised by the offer, and it delayed your response. 

“Um. Yeah, I guess we can,” you mumbled, feeling fidgety under the attention. She gave you that sparkly smile that she gave everyone when she looked back up at you, bag hung over her shoulder. 

“Great! You free this afternoon?” you were surprised she seemed so eager to get working. You awkwardly nodded and felt your heart begin beating faster as she walked towards you. 

“Don’t you have soccer practice, though?” you said quickly, shuffling ever so slightly away from her. She now stood right across from you by the door. Having her attention like this was strange, and you could only describe it as anxiety-inducing. 

“Shit, you’re right. I completely forgot about that,” she laughed, and you felt your stomach drop. “Well, we could always make Saturday work as long as-” she began babbling on about something you didn’t feel like you needed to know about to the point that you began feeling nauseated. 

“Hey, can we plan this tomorrow, maybe? I’ve gotta go,” you interrupted, lying through your teeth with your skin itching to get away. Jackie stopped what she was saying, and for a fleeting second, it looked like her smile had faded. 

“Oh, yeah. We’ll talk tomorrow then,” you'd already begun leaving before she could finish calling goodbye, which you knew was rude, but all you could think was how you had to get away. Which was even stranger considering she had been acting so nice! Jackie had never been nice to you. Well, Jackie had never been anything to you before. Why was her being nice so startling? You wracked your brain over it all as you hustled into the library to hide among the bookshelves. 

You could finally take a real breath when you found a secluded table tucked away in the corner of the library, nestled in with all of the books but by a window, which let a nice stream of light bask down onto the table. You arranged your things, found a few books on your project topic, and got to work, reading and periodically scribbling down notes as you ate the lunch you’d packed that morning. You’d stay there through lunch and into your free study hall period. Getting your study hall directly after lunch had to have been some kind of godsent. 

You’d gotten into a real groove or taking your notes. By now, you had to have nearly three pages, front and back, filled with different tidbits you could mention in your project. You’d lost track of time and your surroundings as you listened to your walkman while working. You were only shaken out of your little bubble when you heard a strong, purposeful throat-clearing beside you. You looked up to see Jackie standing over you with a few books in hand. You stared wide-eyed, forgetting about your headphones. That is, till the blonde scrunched her brow and gestured for you to take them off. You did, muttering your apology as the headphones hung around your neck. 

“I see you got started,” she chuckled again. You felt yourself grow embarrassed, like you’d been caught with your hand in the cookie jar after saying you’d had enough sweets for the day. Your eyes faltered away, down to your notes, as the grip on your pencil tightened. 

“Uh, yeah. I have a free period, so I thought I might as well,” you mumbled, fidgeting with the corner of your paper, folding it into itself. 

“Oh! Me too” She paused, looking around as though someone might see despite the table being tucked out of most people's way. “Well, mind if I sit? You could share what you’ve started, and we could make a gameplan,” She suggested. Given your current situation and the way you’d practically run from her earlier, you had no reason to decline, so you nodded, moving some of your things out of the way. She sat down at the other side of the table, but not directly across from you, more so diagonal. Maybe she could feel your apprehension about working for you. It wasn’t like you were trying to hide how you felt, but thinking she might know didn’t help the nauseating feeling in your gut. 

Calling the following interaction awkward would be an understatement. You had zero desire to integrate with Jackie outside of class, and she couldn’t seem to get the hint. Or maybe she did and was just choosing to ignore what you thought was your evident desire to be left alone. She started reading the books she’d picked up and writing her notes like you had been doing. But every time she read something that seemed noteworthy, she’d double check if you’d read and written that down already. It got to the point that you eventually just gave her your notebook to write in so she could read what you'd written down already and stop interrupting your reading.  

She seemed disappointed by this, but she didn’t voice it or argue. Unsteady, you spent the rest of the hour sitting at the same table, silently reading over textbooks. She didn’t attempt conversation till the bell rang, and you both had to pack up and go to class again. She started by offering you your notebook back, but she pointed out something she’s specifically written down when she handed it to you. 

“It’s my address. How about we meet up tomorrow at noon? My dad will be out golfing, and my mom’s got book club, so we’ll have quiet to work on the project. If that works for you, of course,” she seemed rather eager at the idea as she patiently waited for your reply. You paused for a moment, staring at her annoyingly near handwriting and her address till you relented. 

“Yeah, sure. Noon tomorrow” you agreed with a nod. She seemed to smile slightly more and nodded quickly. 

“Noon tomorrow,” she repeated, taking a step back as she moved to leave. “I’m already looking forward to it,” You watched her go with her little wave and had to refrain from rolling your eyes. You had a bad, nauseating feeling about tomorrow already. 

-🐇-

All you could do was stand outside the Taylor’s house, staring up at the two-story with wide eyes, regretting ever letting yourself get into this situation. Something felt so wrong about you walking towards the house, so much so that you contemplated turning tail and leaving. That is till Jackie opened the door, beckoning you inside. It was too late to back out now, so you begrudgingly made your way up the lawn. 

“I’m glad you made it,” she began as you walked into the house, you noticed her lack of shoes, so you took yours off, leaving them behind by the door. “Oh, thank you for that! I completely forgot to mention it, and my mother would kill me,” she joked. You forced a smile and hummed but gave her no reaction beyond that. She paused and took a breath, murmuring a quiet ‘right’ before taking you upstairs. 

“I thought we’d work in my room unless you'd rather go in the living room since no one's home,” You shrugged, eyes glancing around the house as you followed her. 

“Doesn’t matter to me,” you dryly said as she sat down on her bed, pulling out her schoolwork as she sat with her legs crossed against the pillows. You hesitated, standing in the middle of your room with your bag in hand. 

“You can come and sit over here if you like,” she chuckled, patting the space in front of her on the bed. After a pause, you did as instructed, sitting at the foot of the bed with your bag beside you. You began to rummage around, pulling out your notebook, pencils, and textbook. 

“I can get you something to drink or a snack if you like,” she offered. She was fidgeting with her pencil and notebook open over her lap, but she hadn’t started writing anything yet. 

“I’m alright,” you began flipping through your notes, not looking up. 

“Ok, well. Do you have any thoughts on how you wanna do this or…”

“I thought I’d write the paper, and you do the visuals,” You replied as though this was the most obvious course of action. Jackie stared at you for a moment till she nodded. 

“Yeah,” her voice cracked as she tucked hair behind her ear, looking around the room. “Yeah, tha works for me,” looking up from your notebook, you noticed the way she bit the inside of her cheek. 

“Y’know what? I’m gonna get something to snack on anyways,” she said it more like she was telling herself than she was you. You watched her leave like she was in a rush, leaving you alone in her room. Immediately you felt uncomfortable with the situation, so you pulled out your Walkman and began listening to that while you scribbled away in your notes, getting yourself started on the final paper. 

Jackie didn’t return for some time, but when she did, she was carrying a big bowl of popcorn with her that she set on the bed after sitting down again. She watched you expectantly but didn’t say a word till you took your headphones off. 

“You want some?” she gestured to the bowl. You shook your head. 

“No, I’m fine,” you turned your attention back to the paper. “But thanks,” you remembered to add at the end. The next hour was relatively quiet as you both worked. You’d made a decent dent in the paper, and Jackie had started sketching a mock-up of the visual display. She’d handed you her notes to get your opinion, and you simply nodded, telling her it was good and to go ahead. In all honesty, after that, you saw little point in working together anymore. You could easily write the paper at home while she worked on the presentation, right? 

“Hey, I think I’m gonna get going,” you started. She looked up, confused. 

“But we only just got started,” she began to argue. You felt yourself grow uncomfortable with her seeming eagerness for you to stay. 

“Well, I can work on this at home. We don’t need to be together after all,” 

“But isn’t it good to work together? Like, to have a soundboard or whatever?” She stood up suddenly and began rummaging for something around the room. Growing alarm clawed at your throat, and you turned around in your seat on the bed to keep your eye on her. “It’s a group project, after all!” She was growing more impatient, and you couldn’t distinguish why. 

“Yeah, but it's not a huge deal-” she turned around to face you again, her hair aggressively swishing as she faced you with a distressed look.

“You really can’t stand me that much?” she yelped, genuinely sounding hurt. You froze, paralyzed with no idea what to do. You’d never imagine that Jackie, of all people, would care about what you thought of her. You didn’t think Jackie cared about anyone’s opinion, let alone you! 

“I never said I didn’t like you-” 

“Well, it’s obvious you don’t!” she interrupted. She looked like she might be on the verge of tears as she began pacing the room. You started to panic.

“No, it isn’t!” you knew it was a terrible retort, but what else could you say? So you got onto the defensive. “But why would you even care if I didn’t like you? I’m nobody!” your voice faltered, and you cringed with embarrassment. You had no idea what was going on or how you even got into this situation. Jackie was nearly and tears, and you found you were too, and you thought you might throw up on the spot from the grinding, nauseating feeling twisting your gut. Jackie sniffled, wiping her nose. But at least she’d stopped pacing and now stood facing you. The sound and motion drew your attention back in.

“You’re not nobody,” her voice was almost pitiful. She sheepishly met your eyes, biting her lip. She was considering something, but you couldn’t tell what. You felt afraid under her gaze. 

“Yes, I am,” was all you could say back. You picked at the skin of your thumbs, hoping the motion could calm your racing heart. “I doubt you even knew my name before we had this class together,” 

“Well, I did, actually,” there was a heavy pout in her voice. She caved and walked back to the bed, sitting in the space you'd previously occupied but scooted from when she’d stood up. She was almost unbearably close. “I’ve known about you since seventh grade,” only when she said that did you look up at her. Her gaze was soft yet almost timid. It seemed unnatural for her, given her constant air of confidence.

“You got that writing award at that assembly we had with the whole school at the beginning of the year. Most people who were getting awards were eighth graders,” she seemed to recall it fondly. “But I remember how you walked across that stage with that huge smile to take that award from the principal. You didn’t look nervous or afraid. Just happy to be getting that award,” you were stunned she even remembered that day. You barely even remembered it yourself, now that you thought about it. 

“But so what? What about that makes me liking you matter so much?” 

“I dunno, maybe because of your nice or something?” She was getting upset again. Her face was red with frustration, and she kept dramatically sighing and scoffing. And you weren’t sure what caused it, and you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but you laughed. It started as a chuckle, but then it turned into full blow, hysterically tear-inducing laughter. You knew it was wrong, and you expected her to slap you in the face, but she didn’t. 

After her initial shock, you heard a snicker, and then she, too, laughed. And as you heard her laugh ring you, you realized it was like a song that you wanted to be stuck in your head. And unlike what you may have anticipated, it didn’t scare you anymore. You managed to quiet and subside your fit of giggles, thumbing away tears that brimmed your eyes from the pressure, a smile still waving over your lips. Jackie appeared the same, but she looked away again, that shy blush water-coloring her cheeks as she smiled. 

“I just really want you to like me, but I can’t explain why,” she managed to say finally, looking back up at you. She’d gotten closer again when you were distracted. You could almost feel her breath fanning over your face as she bit her lip in silent consideration. 

“I do like you,” you managed to say, eyes unconsciously wandering down to her lips, then flashing back to her eyes out of fear of being caught. But though you expected scorn, you were met with excitement in her eyes, followed by a tilt of her head, and then all at once, her eyes shut, and her lips were on yours, tentative and curious. Anxiety told you to pull away, but frozen in surprise, you found you couldn’t. Instead, you sat, eyes wide as you practically vibrated in anticipation, though you dared not move. It was the same kind of excitement and anxiety you’d feel trying to get close to a wild rabbit. The slightest wrong move, and it would surely run. 

But Jackie didn’t run. She did pull away, but she didn’t stray. She watched with a squeezing apprehension on her face, expecting to have a mess to clean up on her hands. You were left completely speechless, terrified she’d regret her actions immediately and make you leave, and she’d never speak to you again. But again, Jackie didn’t run, and she didn’t make you either. 

“Say something,” she tried to state, but it came out more like a plead. You scanned her face and did the only thing you could think of in your hazy state. You took her hand, which sat behind you, holding her up as she leaned into you and took her lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. As you kissed her, you felt her smile, with the sound of a muffled chuckle. 

Her fingers from her free hand eventually grazed over your cheek, tucking hair behind your ear before wrapping wound the small of your neck to toy with the baby hairs that grew there. When you pulled away, she adjusted so she was practically in your lap with how close she was. Her arms looped lazily over your shoulders and around your neck as she played with your hair, looking you over dreamily. 

“My mother would end me if she found out about this,” she giggled, clearly enjoying her little silent rebellion. 

“You like girls?” was the only thing you could think, and of course, that’s what your big mouth had to blurt out. You immediately cringed, squeezing your eyes shut and resisting the urge to slap yourself in the face. But fortunately, she laughed that lovely laugh you’d begun to grow fond of. 

“It seems like I do,” she attempted to sound coy in her reply. “And it sounds like you look like girls, too,” she added. You looked at her again and relaxed with a smile, rolling your eyes. 

“I thought that had been obvious since freshman year,” Jackie shook her head. 

“I mean, not to me,” 

“Oh, so you didn’t pick the gay girl to try out kissing girls?” You'd grown confident out of nowhere and smirked. Jackie’s cheeks flushed again, and her jaw dropped in mock shock as she tried suppressing a laugh in her throat. In a moment of mock irritation, she shoved your shoulders, gently knocking you onto your back, meeting the duvet cover of her bed in a fit of amused giggles. Without a fleeting consideration, she sat on top of you, her thighs on either side of your hips as her hands pressed against your chest. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinning as you looked up at her. Her brows raised, eyes wide as she realized the position she’d put herself in, that pink blush in her face turning bright red.

“Well, look who’s miss confidence now, huh?” you couldn’t resist the tease. Your restraint had gone out the window with this new understanding of your feelings. Your irritation and avoidance of Jackie Taylor had only been a poorly placed front for your real feelings. You’d been smitten with her for years now but refused to look at it in the right lighting. She scrunched her nose and tried to frown, but the corners of her lips kept flickering upwards in amusement as you grinned, which only egged her on more. So she did the only thing she could think. She leaned in again, wiping that smirk away with her lips. 

[girlwholovesturtles]

Bloody Mary

Interesting title...

Uh? We just talking today, Jon?

Jon going for the stories that he normally wouldn't find interesting. Fun.

Oh, hello Gertrude. What's good?

Uh? Oh... Mary Keay really did ruin so many lives... WAIT! Gerry thought he's dad was gone for good. Gertrude never told him!?

"You got old." Damn, alright...

This is very sad. I see why so many people make fan art of this guy. I wish he would ha-

What?! Wait, who's Right?

Yes! How! Eric, sir! Answer the question!

"I don't mean to be a dick..." No! I already like this guy so much and I just know that I'm never gonna hear from him again!

What? Gertrude wasn't very nice, you say? What a shock. Oh, don't mention Michael, you'll make me sad!

Yeah, okay, that's why Gertrude looked after Gerry the way she did. Makes sense.

Man is gonna make a statement, wonderful. I wonder if Gerry ever got to hear? Probably not, given the fact that he thought Mary never put him in the book.

Master's in library science. Fun... oh, this man thought he'd get to just move on. Cute.

"And then I met Mary." Oh boy, here we go. I have been wondering how these two would have become an item. Thought it was strange that she ever would have married. Though I guess she did want to start something of a supernatural dynasty.

"Like a shark is beautiful." WOW! This man likes being dominated by scary women and I can relate to that.

Here's the thing, I know what he's saying here is about Mary making him run around and meet with monsters and find cursed books. But it very much sounds like she introduced him to something like BDSM and his final words are about how exciting that was for him.

Oh hon, I don't think anyone was safe from her.

BRO! You've made so many mistakes! Eric, hon, you fool!

Smart, pity you didn't get to spend time with Gerry.

Tell me your secrets, sir! Explain! Stop beating around the bush!

OH! You blinded yourself. Wow. That's... well alright... I suppose that does make sense.

Oh my god! They let Jon say FUCK!

Martin!

Uh... what are you about to do here?! What?!

How did you guess that, Martin?

Wait, have they said fuck before in this show? Because I swear this is the first episode I've noticed it but suddenly Martin has said it too. Has Martin said the fuck would? Because I really can't recall at this point.

I'm getting distracted...

Are you really about to ask this man to run away with you? Jon, honey, that's really romantic but I feel like you're forgetting, you two aren't actually an item. Like, at least ask him out to dinner before you ask him to blind himself and run away with you.

I have so many feeling right now!

[inthememetime]

Cleaning the Gravestones Chapter 4

AO3 link here:

Chapters 1-3 (Tumblr): click here, or just search my page for the tag #Cleaning the Gravestones

Original Tumblr post:

Taglist: @murderandjam @reading-wanderer @xxwintrynightzxx @mochazocha let me know if you want to be added!

Chapter under the cut! (Also, I shamelessly paraphrazed the wine convo from Schitt's Creek, you can see it here)

"Mother, Grandmother, so good to see you!" Harriet greeted, and the three women exchanged hugs.

Kim cleared her throat and leaned in for a loose, quick embrace, while her little sister, Amy, did the same. Michael patted her on the shoulder.

She shook her father's hand, polite and cool. Then, she shook the hand of the young man standing beside him, and introduced Vlad.

They had catered to her grandmother's house. With a staff and everything for only 13 people. She had not been prepared for this. If Kim had mentioned the boy her dad invited over was the son of a vehicle manufacturing tycoon, maybe she would've- and would've been able to warn Vlad of the very fancy manners required, and how to use all the little forks and spoons.

After all, her family was new money. His was old money. Old, old money. As in, if the fall of the Russian royal family hadn't happened, he would have a title.

To her surprise, it didn't seem to throw him at all. And then she remembered- Masters. From the Romanov-Masters, according to some of the things he'd mentioned offhand in their talks while he was in the hospital. Vlad might enjoy normal things like football, hockey, greasy takeout, and cheap booze, but he was probably more used to this sort of thing than she was.

"So Harriet, James here is a doctor! What does your... Brad, was it? Do for a living?"

Vlad smiled. "I go by Vlad. Technically, Vladimir Romanov-Masters."

She noticed he didn't mention he'd recently started a bartending job. That didn't matter to her dad- judging by the way his face paled, he realized that he was talking to a person whose last name was on multiple libraries, museums, and public buildings.

"I've got two PhDs and a Master's degree, though I'm taking a gap year. Tell me, James, where do you practice?"

James cleared his throat. "The Romanov-Masters Oncology Center."

Vlad smiled. "Wonderful building. I've always been fond of the skylights my grandfather ordered built into the main center. Have you seen it, Harriet?"

"I can't say I have, no."

"It's a twin to the Romanov-Masters Museum of Science and Technology. He had both buildings built at the same time as a gift for his second wife."

"That was Katlya, right? Or your Babushka?"

"Babushka was Valeska- wife number four. The buildings were built for Katlya, though." He replied cheerfully. "Babushka was the one I'm named after."

"How do you get babushka out of Valeska?" Kim asked.

"Babushka just means Grandmother," Harriet answered. "It would be like if we called Grandmother Lao Lao."

She smiled. "Oh, I could've sworn I told Kim I was dating a doctor." His glare swung over to her sister.

Her father cleared his throat and glared at her. "Harriet, I didn't think you mentioned we would have such a distinguished guest."

Kim laughed nervously. "Well, you know how Harriet is. I thought she was joking."

Vlad tilted his head to one side. "Really? Why would she? She's certainly lovely enough to catch anyone's attention, wouldn't you say?"

Kim laughed awkwardly, and Harriet decided she'd leave him alone about the plant theft for at least 2 weeks. "Of course she is."

Once her mother started talking about something- anything else, really- Vlad leaned over. "You didn't mention the full last name, did you?" He sounded delighted.

"Nope," she replied, carefully hiding her grin.

"Tricky. I approve."

"You're going to make me laugh, stop." She whispered back.

"Harriet, you mentioned something about football games to your sister. Have you gained an interest in sports?"

Vlad raised an eyebrow, knowing full well she knew nothing about football and didn't care to learn.

"That was supposed to be a surprise," she said, and feigned a sigh. "Oh, well. I got us Packers tickets for your birthday."

Vlad beamed. "Thank you! The Packers and the Maple Leafs are my favorite teams, really."

"The Maple Leafs aren't a real football team," her father said with a frown. "There isn't a need to lie and make up names to cover my daughter's interest in something unladylike."

Vlad got that odd stony-faced look he did when he was considering something awful, and she discreetly bumped him with her knee. The last time, he made a jerk on the bus cry. "The Toronto Maple Leafs are one of the foremost and well-renowned hockey teams worldwide. You are correct- they aren't a football team. However, they are a team."

Her father flushed and her mother winced. Her Grandmother looked delighted, and Amy tried to disappear behind Michael and his wife.

"I see." Her father said coldly. "My apologies."

Vlad made a...less grumpy face. "Of course. And I don't mind any unladylike interests. Harriet is certainly worthy of love and attention even if she weren't a-"

3 weeks. She'd leave him alone about plant theft for 3 weeks. And look at tickets to a Maple Leafs game.

"She is my daughter, and as such my feelings on the matter of her behavior are the ones that matter. You are hardly married to her."

"I wasn't aware this was 1789- I thought it was 1989, my apologies."

Her father stood, slammed his hands on the table, and a candle unexpectedly flared, lighting his sleeve on fire. Harriet calmly took a sip of her wine as the rest of the table began to panic. God, she wished she had pictures.

-

Dinner went well, or terribly, or terribly well depending on who you asked.

Harriet leaned towards terribly well. Her father, no doubt, leaned towards terribly.

"Harriet, I am so sorry, I shouldn't have gotten into that argument with your father."

She beamed at him. "It's fine. I'm pretty sure the rest of the family likes you."

"Even after your father ruined your sister's dress because he was set on fire?" He asked dryly.

She grinned and leaned on his arm, not caring about the soot clinging to his sweater in the least. "Oh my dad and Kim hate you, maybe even Amy. But I had a great time."

He snorted. "Well, I can never look your parents in the face again, so I suppose it's good you don't bring them over."

She laughed. "Well, my grandmother adores you, so there's that."

"I have no idea why," he chuckled. "What did she give you?"

Her grandmother had pulled her aside shortly after the fire, and given her a seemingly random assortment of items. Several books, a few packs of incense and a holder, a small copper mirror, and a small stack of recipe cards involving red beans or peaches.

"Completely random stuff," she answered, "and a few new recipes."

He made a noise much like a happy dog, and Harriet found herself snickering. "Too bad you can't cook," she teased.

"I can make pancakes!"

"And?"

"...and I am otherwise not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen except the fridge, microwave, and kettle."

"Thank you," she said, and he snorted.

Suddenly, she stopped. "This isn't the way to the bus stop." In fact, it was the opposite direction- faster to the apartment, but it crossed a damn cemetery.

"The busses stop at 9," he said with a frown, and looked at his watch. "It's already 9:30."

She checked her own, using the light-up display. "9:40, actually. Damn it. I hate the cabs this time of night, they're so creepy."

"It's only 2 blocks if we cut across Forscythe."

He grinned, and for a moment she swore there was a bluish tint to his skin. She saw the blue neon sign over his shoulder and dismissed it. "Harriet, I promise I won't let any ghosts hurt you."

She looked at him incredulously. "Vlad. It's Friday the 13th, and you want to cross a cemetery at night."

Again, there was that odd seriousness. If it had been anyone else, there would probably be a mocking tone, but Vlad was deadpan- as if it was a serious concern and he could realistically stop it.

"It's not the ghosts- I'm not even sure they exist- it's the fact it's pitch black out here, and we don't exactly live in the best part of the city."

He frowned. "Fair enough. I suppose we could see if the cashier will let one of us use the phone to call a cab?"

She thought about it and sighed. "Is it bad that the cemetery sounds safer than a cab at night?"

"It is," he agreed. "Is it one specific driver, or just a weird feeling, do you think?" Vlad asked, leading them forward again. "I've never had that, but I don't usually take cabs anywhere."

"No offense Vlad, but you're a 6-foot-tall white man, and I'm a 5'4" Chinese-American woman. Our experiences are not the same."

"I'm sorry," he apologized immediately, and she shook her head.

"No, it's not your fault, it's just- people see you, and they see someone who probably isn't worth the fight they'd have to put up. People see women, especially women of color, and see a target."

She couldn't see his face now, with the streetlights becoming a rarity as they neared Forscythe Cemetery. "I can get that, sort of- but I can hide it, if you get what I mean."

"I don't," she said, "sorry. Care to explain?"

"I, ah-" he cleared his throat. "Well. Have you heard the wine metaphor?"

"I haven't."

They passed the cemetery gates, and in the faint light, she could only see vague parts of the path. Vlad, however, seemed to have no trouble, and she held tightly to his arm. "I am a red wine drinker. Based on what you've mentioned about former boyfriends, you are too."

That was definitely a non-sequitur. Before she could ask for clarification, he continued, "but I'm also a white wine drinker. And merlot, and cabernet, and- well. There are laws against anyone who likes to drink more than just red wine."

She opened her mouth when it hit her. Red wine. A woman who has boyfriends- but not girlfriends. Anti-sodomy laws. "Oh."

"When I'm drinking red wine, there's no problems. When I start drinking anything else, well. I have to be careful." He took a deep breath and sighed. "But as I said- I can hide it. Luckily, I don't only drink white wine, many have it considerably harder."

"I see. That's- I can't say I didn't expect it, but- thanks. For telling me."

He squeezed her arm lightly with his free hand. "Least I could do after ruining dinner."

Harriet laughed, and felt relief as they left the darkened cemetery in favor of the street lights. "Hey, it's not like you set my dad on fire. People can't really do that. Besides, he wasn't hurt except his pride, and he needed to get knocked down a peg."

He chuckled. "That would be impossible for a human," he agreed.

They were mostly quiet until they reached the apartment. She'd had a long day at work, following a long week stressing about the dinner, and it was freezing. She shamelessly absorbed some of Vlad's body heat- how he was warm in the chill air, she had no idea.

"Thanks for doing this," she said as she pulled off her heels and he untied his only pair of nice shoes.

He smiled. "Anytime."

[ashsblurbs]

Kids

"Well, that didn't end the way I expected, but at least nobody important died." 

"Tony!" Steve looked at his husband with concern. The whole Avengers team was out fighting some Ultron goons for a week straight. Steve could understand his love remark. 

The whole team was tired and ready to go home to see their respective kids. Tony and Steve with a ten year old and a four year old. Thor and Bruce with an eleven year old and twin nine year olds. Then there was Natasha and Bucky's brood of four running around. They had a ten year old themselves plus an eight year old, six year old and one on the way. 

"Doll, I know you wish you could be here but you are six months pregnant. How's the other three? I hope they are behaving or their папа will get them when I get home." Bucky warned over the screen knowing that Kat was most likely hiding behind the couch. 

"James, they've been great. Alex has really helped a lot with dinner. He always wants to hand me ingredients." Natasha laughed. 

"Oof." Natasha winced, rubbing her stomach where the baby kicked. "I think someone is missing their папа." 

"I'm missing them two. Hey, I got to go, the quinjet is here. Я люблю вас." Bucky hung up to run over to his teammates. He would do anything to get home.

—-------------

"No, Brooklyn, you can't have ice cream for dinner. Put Happy on the phone now." Tony demanded. 

Tony and Steve's daughter was only four but she was a master manipulator. She knew how to play the system unlike their son James. James was older and smarter beyond his years. He never asked for much or begged for things. The phase stopped once Brooklyn was born. Instead Steve was the one that often knew what James needed. It drove Tony crazy. 

"Do you hear this? Ice cream for dinner." Tony asked Steve. 

Steve grunted a reply as he had fallen asleep against the seat of the quinjet. Tony waved him away and turn his attention back to the screen to find Happy covered in makeup and one of Brooklyn's wigs. 

"What's up boss? 

"You make a very pretty woman, Happy. Thinking about doing drag." 

Happy didn't reply but did roll his eyes at his friend. 

"Had to entertain Brooks here somehow." 

"Were you going to give my children ice cream for dinner?" 

"No! Pizza should be here in ten minutes. Trust me I don't need them on a sugar high. Even though James kinda stayed in his room the whole time." Happy said. 

Tony nodded knowing this was going to be true. James was such a serious kid. He got that from Steve. 

"Brooklyn, be good and tell your brother we said hi. Should be home right before bed." 

"Okay, daddy. Luv you."

Then the screen went black on the commuter leaving Tony alone with two sleeping super soldiers. 

—-----------

"Father, I'm bored here on Asgard. I like Midgard better. At least at home we have tv." Arne whined. 

" Well son, what are Theo and Freya doing. Go play with them." Bruce suggested. 

"They're doing some dumb science thing in the library. I hate science." 

Arne was nothing like Thor expect for his good looks and athletic talent but other than that he had no love for Asgard. He wanted nothing to do with the traditions or history. He much rather be out throwing a football with James and Ivan. 

He also was nothing like Bruce with the way he despised all things academic. He was almost their lone wolf child. 

Unlike their twins who were all about the world of science and stuck together. They loved their brother Arne but they had nothing in common with him. 

"Well, my boy, we will be there in just a few minutes after we wrap up some paperwork. Then we will be on the bifrost in no time to collect you younglings and bring you home." Thor chimed in. 

Arne rolled his eyes, hanging up. 

"Why does he hate my home planet so much? That's where his ancestral roots are from." Thor asked his husband. 

Bruce shrugged and leaned against Thor. Thor wrapped his arm around Bruce's shoulders pulling him in tight. 

"Thor, Arne doesn't hate Asgard. He just doesn't have the same connection you or even I have to it . Arne was born in Asgard yes but he has lived eleven years of his life on Earth. His friends are here and interests are here. He's just an Earth kid." 

Thor understood. He just wishes Arne could see just how cool and Magical Asgard was. Maybe one day he might even have the chance to be its king. Arne Thorson on the throne of Asgard would make Thor very proud.

"Heimdal, home."

—---------

Bucky slowly tipped toed into the house not to wake his kids nor his pregnant wife. It didn't work since he was greeted at the door by his kids and wife. 

"Nana!" They shouted as they looped their arms around his legs, almost making him fall. 

"Shouldn't you guys be in bed?" Buck question. He looked up at Natasha cradling her bump. The bump they never thought in a million years would be there. Three and they were done, they told themselves. 

Their three were in the perfect age range of each other and Ivan being six, they were content. Until one day Nat walked out of the bathroom with a positive test. They were speechless. Then they were really excited to have a new baby. The kids were too when they told them. 

"We wanted to stay up and wait for you papa. Can you tuck us in?" Kat pleaded. Kat looked at him with her puppy eyes and Buck knew he couldn't say no.

Kat grabbed hold of his metal arm with excitement dragging him down the hall. 

"How was your business trip? Alex asked.

That was what the mission was to their kids. Bucky and Natasha agreed that their kids would never know about the Avengers or their past until they were older for their safety. 

"It was good, kid. Very tired some." 

Bucky tucked in Ivan first kissing him goodnight. Then he walked to the other side of the room to say goodnight to Alex. 

Kat walked into her own room which she would have to share once the new baby came. 

"Good night sweetheart. Я люблю вас." 

Bucky walked back into the living room to sit next to Nat. He laid his hand on her belly to feel their child moving around. 

"Very active tonight. Probably won't be getting much sleep tonight." Natasha said. 

Buck kissed Natasha, pushing her hair out of her face. 

"Yeah me neither. I'm too wired." 

Natasha kissed him again hard. Her fingers found the hem of his shirt working it up so she could feel his hard abs. 

Buck followed, grabbing the back of her hair. 

"Agent Romanoff, we have an important delivery to dispose of in room three." Buck teased

—--------------

"I just find it odd that Ultron would want to attack Canada of all places. Why not Los Angeles or even Britain but Canada." Tony was rattling off as they walked up the front porch of their quiet home. 

Steve nodded along. He was way too tired to deal with Ultron's motives. All that matters was the Ultron was defeated again and they were home safe for their babies. 

Steve opened the door quickly to find everyone was in bed. Happy was passed out on the couch with I love Lucy reruns on the TV. 

Steve and Tony walked a little farther in to check on their darlings. Steve cracked open Brooklyn's room to find she was cuddling up with her spiderman build a bear. 

Steve and Tony looked at each other in awe. Then they went across the hall to open the door to find James laying face down in his pillow. How on Earth that kid could breathe was a mystery to them?

The two men walked farther down the hall to their room. Steve stripped off all of his clothes and jumped into the bed. He knew he needed a shower but he was too tired to. 

Tony jumped next to him laying his head onto his chest. They were both beat and need to recharge. A day in bed tomorrow sounded like a great idea. Maybe they could get Happy to babysit for a few more hours. 

—--------

"Finally, we can go home." Arne exclaimed. Thor and Bruce stared at their eager child as he tried to step into the none existed bifrost. 

Theo and Fraya looked down at their feet not wanting to leave yet since they were close to inventing the cure for the common cold. 

"Hey, we can come back next week." Bruce told the twins. 

"But dad we are so close." Freya whined.

"Hey, next week. We can't come sooner with your brother having football practice and you two having science prep for college." 

Arne stood off to the side begging for the bi frost to appear. Thor walked over, placing his hand on his first born's shoulder. 

"My boy, the fruit of my loins. Why don't you like the great Asgard anymore?" Thor questioned. 

Arne shrugged his father's hand off his shoulder taking a step back from Thor. Thor's face had sadness written all over it. 

Arne has been Thor's buddy ever since he was little. The two ran around the yard and played scenes from great Asgard battles. The only way Arne would fall asleep was through stories of Thor's childhood with his brother Loki. 

After Thor began to hint at royal duties and becoming king one day. Arne withdrew from Thor. Really anyone except for Kat, James, and Ivan. He no longer wanted to hear stories or reenact battles. Arne wasn't Thor's little boy anymore.

"Because it isn't so great." Arne remarked. Before Thor could say another word. The bifrost appeared to signal them for home. 

—----------

"I'm so over my father wanting me to be king. I'm eleven. I don't care which fork goes on the left." Arne exclaimed. 

James nodded, listening to his friend about his life. James understood. His pops wanted to start training for him to become Captain America. James didn't mind the training part but being the next Captain America was a little too much for him. 

"I get it. Next Captain America here. I just really want to be a doctor like your dad. I guess I could do both. I don't know. " 

Arne sat down next to James and grabbed the other controller. The Barnes kids had it so easy, Arne thought. They were blissfully ignorant about everything while the others laid awake late at night when their parents were out saving the world. 

"Do you ever wish we could just run away from here, you,me,and Kat? Like running somewhere warm like the beach." Arne asked. 

James pondered the question as he crossed the finish line in Mario Kart. 

"Not really but it would be nice to live without fear or superhero life pressing on us every corner. It would be nice to just be a kid." James admitted. 

All of their parents tried their best to give them the childhoods they didn't but that wasn't always possible when you were an avenger. The kids were still shown the world of villains and superheroing up close. Still received the pressures of being the avengers kids.

—------------

The mission was supposed to be routine until Red Skull, crossbones, Doctor Doom, and some chitauri as well. It was like a hell was breaking loose. 

Captain America and the Winter Solider worked on taking out the hydra goons and Red Skull. Falcon went after Crossbones. 

Thor and Ironman took down the Chitauri while Hawkeye and the Hulk tried to take down Doctor Doom. 

Everything was going according to plan. Then everything stopped. It felt like the world was going in slow motion. 

Hawkeye pulled back his bow aimed to take down a goon or two when the shit was released. 

"Hawkeye!" Captain America yelled. 

Everyone turned to see the moment where the bullet from Crossbones gun shot right through Hawkeye's chest. He dropped his bow to the ground and then his body fallen with a this. 

Shield agents ran in handcuffing the villains while the rest of the team ran over to Hawkeye's rescue. Hulk shrunk down to Banner where went to look for a pause. Everyone waited for answer. Bruce shook his head no. Their teammate and friend was gone.

—--------

The plane ride back to the compound was quite. No one spoke. They couldn't process what just happened. Clint Barton was gone. 

"What am I going to tell Nat? How am I going to tell Nat?" Bucky exclamed. 

"You just have to tell her and then you have to hold her as long as she needs you to and then you hold on longer. " Sam said. 

Bucky opened the door to found his very pregnant wife engrossed in making dinner. Bucky gave Natasha a tight hug not wanting to let go. He knew this could happened her, it almost did by his own gun when he was being controlled by Hydra. 

Natasha rubbed a hand up and down his back. She was curious by the sudden affection. 

"Hey, are you okay." 

"I have something to tell you and you should come sit down before I do." 

Natasha gave Bucky a perplexed look but went and sat on the couch. 

"Okay, what do you need to tell me." 

"Barton was killed during the mission by a gunshot wound." 

Natasha stared at him not believing a word he was saying. How could Clint be gone? The man that was the only that believed in her. Her best friend. 

Tears began to roll down her face. Natasha fell into Bucky's embrace. He held his crying wife all night long. 

—-----------

"Do you think we did the right thing exposing our children to our lives? Steve asked as he sat down on the couch across from Tony's bench. 

Tony spun around in his chair pulling his goggles up on his head. 

"The thing is sweetheart we couldn't hide this life from them if we tried. Not to brag but we are the most recognizable superheroes in the world and we were never about secret identities. Unlike Natasha and Bucky." 

Tony walked over sitting on Steve's lap. He pushed back Steve's slightly long hair. Steve closed his eyes, leaning his head on Tony's shoulder. 

"But James and Brooklyn love this life. Playing in the Avenger's compound and going to Asgard with their Uncle Thor and Uncle Bruce. They just think it's our job." Tony continued. 

Steve sighed against Tony's chest with an agreement. Steve lifted up his head searching his husband's eyes. 

"I think I might retire." Steve exclaimed. 

Tony gave him a curious look but didn't say anything. Tony could have hinted at Steve's desire to hang up the shield and walk away. He saw the desire when Brooklyn was born. 

"After what happened to Clint. Him dying on a mission and leaving his three kids. I just don't want that to happen to me. I never want to leave my family." Steve exclaimed. 

"Okay." Was all Tony said. 

"Okay, no argument. No but the team needs Captain America." 

Tony shook his head no. 

"Because this decision is about Steve Rogers. If you are ready to hang it up and be a family guy then I'm here to support you besides Sam would be a great Captain America." 

Steve agreed. Steve pulled Tony farther onto his lap placing a kiss on his lips. 

"Thank you for understanding."

Tony snaked his hands under Steve's shirt to feel his strong back muscles tense at each touch. Steve grabbed hold of Tony's ass checks hard grinding up wards. Both kissing hard.

Steve pulled back a little bit to catch his breath. "Not that I wouldn't love to enjoy all of this but we gotta make it quick. I gotta pick up Brooklyn from dance and James from Thorsons." 

Tony gave him a come get me grin. "Oh I can still blow your mind with a quick."

—-----------

Katrina stood in the fair back with her brothers and uncles as her mother and father walked to the front of the funeral home. 

Kat couldn't turn away unlike her brother I am who clung to their Uncle Steve for protection. She was curious. 

Mom and dad said Uncle Clint had been in a very bad car accident couple days ago. That he had died at the hospital with Aunt Laura by his side. 

Kat found that sweet to find someone who loved you so much to be by your side for your last breath. Kat knew she wanted that. 

Kat continued watching her parents every move. Her mom came in front of the casket and fell to her knees when she say him. Her father knelt down beside her wrapping his arms tightly around her as she clinged to her round belly. 

Kat never seen this side of her mom. Her mom was always tough and strong. She was not afraid or no one. She never cried for any reason. She was the woman Kat wanted to grow to be like but it was nice to see the vulnerable side of her too. 

—------------------

The main Avenger team was on a sabbatical after Barton's death. They all needed a minute to regroup and mourn. 

They stepped away for six months. In that time the newest Barnes was born. Birthdays and holidays were celebrated. Tony was able to with the help of Natasha and Laura Barton resurrect a statue in the memory of Clint at Avengers compound. 

Everyone was there expect for the Barnes kids. They all stood to give a speech for their final goodbyes to Clint Barton. 

[corpsepng]

this might be too personal so feel free to ignore but I'm interested in becoming a teacher/school librarian after schooling and I saw that u work in an elementary school library! what's it like, how was the process like for getting/finding the job etc (again whatever u feel comfy sharing including absolutely nothing if that's the case)

!!! Not too personal at all! I’m probably not the best person to ask because I tripped and fell into the position, but I’ll do my best to give you what info I have haha

So I started out as a paraprofessional at the school I work at, which anyone (with or without a degree) can be (in my state you’re paid a little more if you have a degree even if it’s unrelated- I have a BFA). Because I had 9 previous years of experience as a camp counselor/youth group leader that helped me out. (The school I work at is also the school I went to when I was a kid so that was likely helpful- yes, escaping your small town is impossible lol)

I’m actually considered an instructional para because I teach specials classes (library and technology), but because i don’t have a degree in teaching I can’t give official grades on report cards (though I still adhere to curriculum and stuff). If you’re already getting a degree in teaching which I assume you are, you’re on WAY better footing for the position. I’m not sure about the standards in your state/country either, but in mine, you can be hired as a teacher with just a bachelors but need to compete a masters degree in some area to continue teaching- the librarian in another school in my district had a regular elementary teaching degree then got her masters in library education and technology.

Another option is a degree in library science, and with that you could work within a school AND/OR in public libraries (who always need the help).

I think the hardest part is keeping the books themselves in order because kids lose/destroy books all the time and also put them in random places the do not belong. Hence why I’m at work bc this place is a mess rn haha

As for what it’s like, it’s honestly so fuckin fun. My favorite part is recommending books to kids who want to read more but don’t know where to start, and seeing them fall in love with a story. Technology is also fun bc I’m teaching them at the same time they’re teaching me (I know what roblox is now, for example)

More than anything my biggest advice for people considering teaching is you need to really really REALLY make sure you like kids and don’t mind cleaning up after them/dealing with adolescent behavior changes because the kids are the job. I love my students more than anything even when they destroy my books or cop an attitude. They’re the reason I’m still here bc otherwise I’d quit bc the pay tbh sucks haha

[welcometohighwater]

gonna go ahead and do the readmore for long posts on this one boys (this ain't for you, but it's cool if you read)

spending a lot of time lately (y'know, doing job search) thinking about how fucked up it is to go to school and try to figure out what you should be doing with your life. because the way that american high schools are set up, they don't leave you much room for exploration in that field if you're one of the ""smart kids"" (good at academic subjects). that just gets you in trouble, because that's how come you go to college and major in english or literature or classics or whatever (and maybe this isn't true for kids who are both good at and interested in the math and science fields as presented in general high school subject courses. but maybe it is. i wouldn't know)

i was always good at english and literature stuff. especially i was good at understanding the hows of how it worked: the mechanics, and the ways that the mechanics could be used to create meaning. and i fucking loved reading. i loved stories. as one of those terminally lonely kids, books were an escape, yada yada.

so i did english good in high school and i did literature good in high school and i did english major in college as a result. and then what the fuck was i going to do with my life.

friends starting in middle school saw me reading all the time and said "be a librarian." okay, well. that's what i tried. library work didn't go so great the first time around (LOVED what i did in high school and undergrad--page, aka the library grunt work--and then i got a bigger library job and some of it was good but a lot of it wasn't). and then basically my mind and body shut down on me (thanks bipolar, thanks thyroid!). but i still picked away at the library thing, aka did the fucking masters in it. so that's great. now i'm in a big ol' pile of debt and it turns out i really don't enjoy it at all very much. i enjoy books, and i enjoy the philosophies behind it (accessible information for all), and i enjoy the grunt work of it immensely (shelving, inventory? sign me the fuck up. and weeding???? that's a dream right there, don't ask why, it just is). but a lot of the other library stuff i am extremely bad at and do not enjoy. for one thing, a lot of library stuff is engaging with your Big Readers, and frankly i'm not so into that scene. i still fucking love to read, but i'm not so good at it, and definitely not in the way you're supposed to be good at it for library. i'm a very slow reader. i'm a thoughtful reader, and i enjoy thinking as i read, lingering over passages, thinking about how the words work. i'm an easily distracted reader. i'm a chronic rereader, to the point where it's detrimental probably (currently the books i'm reading that i'm actively pursuing are all rereads of MULTIPLE previous readings). i'm a mood reader. i have frequent slumps. and i have only the slightest passing curiosity about the Big Books of the day, the bestsellers and the books the booktok folks like. i am a massive fan of the weird, the obscure, the old book you've never heard of but i stumbled over in the free bin outside the secondhand book place. that's not what people want from their librarian, they want you to do book clubs on the bad predictable thrillers that are currently en vogue or whatever

and so i'm out here, lost

because i've found other things i do enjoy doing, but i don't even know how to get into them, things that are actually in demand(?) but that i don't have any training for or real experience with. and i've sent out a few small applications, but between gaps in work history and the fucking master's degree, i am Not A Good Candidate for frankly any job, being both overqualified and way underemployed

and i just wonder sometimes, if i (Certified Smart Kid TM) had had different opportunities in high school, the chance to try different things that didn't require just thoughtfulness but also skill, the chance to learn those skills, practice them, do something practical i could put to use--could i be better now?

[booksandwitchery]

New method I’ve been trying out

So as I've been playing around with different decks and (slowly) getting familiar with the cards, I keep wanting to ask my deck to tell me a story before I pull a spread. And I know that traditionally we're supposed to ask questions, so I always held back and recorded that I was asking "What do I need to know right now?" Honestly though, in my head I was asking the deck to tell me a story. I have my BA in English and I'm finishing up my M.S. in Library Science; I'm wretchedly bookish and there's nothing for it. I hope this explains why (among other reasons) I have been enjoying tarot because it allows me to write creatively and learn more about myself in the process.

So for the purpose of tarot as a creative practice and a meditative exercise--I really should stop guilting myself out of asking my deck to tell me a story. Right? This is fine.

Anyway, here's the story I interpreted from the above spread:

V of Swords

There is one true, right, strong path ahead, but you are held back by the ties of old connections. You know there are beautiful and fragile sprouts of life weaved between these old connections--if you move forward, you will progress on your path to becoming your ideal self; however, moving forward means that the flowering, fragile life of your old connections will wither and die. Because of this, you have held yourself back from your path. You cannot commit yourself to any action that kills these flowering vines.

X. Destiny

Even the master of the universe divines wisdom from something above themself. Stop fighting against the cosmos, and more importantly your intuition. Stop pretending that you can avoid the inevitable and hold onto the past forever. You can't.

IX of Pentacles

Leaving behind past connections will also leave you without the comfort you've grown accustomed to having at all times. Pleasure, fuel and material things can sustain you, or even help you survive. But these things can also be inconvenient distractions that reduce you to a lower form of being. You must constantly balance yourself between survival needs and the conditions of your becoming.

[serialreblogger]

I know you don't talk about school much, so feel very free to just pass this ask by, but how did you... make a decision for a degree and everything?

whooof a good question! short answer is, there’s a reason i don’t talk much about school, and that’s because i straightup don’t have a clue what i’m doing. but for the record: nobody? does?

there’s this idea that as soon as you hit grade 11 you need to get started planning the rest of your life out, and once you graduate high school you have to have like a ten-year career plan. but nobody, really, does. if you have a ten-year career plan in grade twelve, the only thing that guarantees is that you’ll be doing something dramatically different in ten years (and probably have at least one major identity crisis two to five years in).

because here’s the thing: it’s really, really unfair to put that kind of expectation on teenagers, to start with. you literally don’t have the necessary experience to make that kind of decision. you aren’t capable yet of making informed choices about the direction of your life, just because you haven’t LIVED enough, you don’t have enough information to draw from. and really, you’re also still a kid. you’ve been entirely dependent on your parents for survival up to now, and for a disproportionately high number of teens, that means accepting abuse, micromanagement, neglect and/or general unhealthy circumstances as a fact of life. none of that equips you to make any kind of balanced choice about the direction you want your life to take.

all of this is to say, first of all, if you’re planning to go to university just after high school, don’t hold yourself to an all-or-nothing standard when it comes to your course of study.

when you’re starting an undergrad, especially if you’re doing so within a year or two of finishing high school, don’t worry as much about picking a major that will serve your career path (look, i’m going to be honest with you, there’s seriously no undergrad degree that gives you a significant leg up in the job market at this point, and that includes the sciences. english majors + chemistry majors = equal difficulty finding work after graduating without either a master’s degree or some kind of nepotism. the only exception is maybe business majors, but they don’t really count because nobody trusts business majors). don’t worry about what you “should” be majoring in or whether the subjects that interest you are “practical.” None of the courses in university are practical.

That’s what I did, anyway. i didn’t declare my own major until halfway through my third year (and still graduated in four). My university had a whole bunch of core required courses for every major regardless of your field of study, which made that easier; i took an introductory course on plant biology, an english course where we studied dracula, a philosophy course, a course on “history of the Western World” (which was essentially colonialist propaganda + the black plague), and a theology class from the Catholic college partnered to my university. I don’t know if you know this about me, but i forkin adored every minute of that semester. That’s the second thing: if you hate high school, that is ABSOLUTELY not a guarantee you’ll hate university. In uni i finally got to learn about things that actually interested me, got to choose courses and drop ones i didn’t want to deal with, and was not only allowed but encouraged to engage critically with what i was being taught. it was brilliantly freeing.

So: if you’re looking for advice on how to pick your major when you first start college or university, i guess my main advice is don’t. Not that you shouldn’t declare a major if you have a pretty solid idea of what you genuinely want to do, but like. if you don’t have a solid idea. that’s OKAY. 90% of people don’t, because you just don’t have the necessary context to determine what you really enjoy and what you want to learn more about (let alone what you want to do for the rest of your life).

sign up for the things that interest you. drop the things that don’t. see where that takes you, and go from there.

(also, if after your first semester you think university just genuinely isn’t something that appeals to you, maybe take some time off. like i said, going to university doesn’t by any means guarantee a career. you can figure out who you are and who you want to be in settings that aren’t the suffocatingly stressful, high-stakes conditions of academia. i, personally, am overall glad i went to uni and value the ideas and facts and ways of thinking i learned there; but the fact remains that it took my anxiety from “bad enough to spawn eating disorder” to “i can’t bear being alive and also resonate way too hard with descartes’ ‘does anything even exist’ crisis oh god oh help” levels. also: student loans. if you find that learning for its own sake isn’t exciting or fun for you, take a break!! find something that IS exciting and fun, and try doing that for a bit instead. never feel like you have to put yourself through something that’s taking more from you than it gives.)

[igotathingforvampires]

Anon Ask | Marcus Volturi x Archaeologist Reader: Punishments

OH YOU! -waves hand-

So you've decided to snag yourself an Ancient Vampire!

Good for you! But ah, there are some things to take into account.

A bit of back story.

You and Marcus have been swirling around one another like a pair of courting swans for several years now.

What started off as a tenuous friendship based on Ancient Texts became a whirlwind of romance and chaos.

You basically are a vampire version of Evee from The Mummy slash Lara Croft come to life -- (minus the pointy boobs lmao) and have spent the entire time 'rescuing' artifacts from stupid humans and giving them to the Volturi for safe keeping because and I quote"

"AMUN. I am NOT trusting this (enter impossibly old artifact) to anyone but Master Aro and Marcus and if you touch it I shall GRIND YOU UP AND SPRINKLE YOU ON MY NEXT HUMAN AND EAT YOU."

You are polar opposites, he's quiet, you're....well... not. "Marcus there is no way in fucking hell you were around during xyzzy!!!!"

You find a portrait with Marcus' likeness in the vaults "YOU SMUG SON OF A F@$@%@$%."

He's sitting in the library smug and drinking wine as you stomp in and GLARE at him. "Did you find something of interest?”

“Fuck you.” You growl.

“Language.” He growls back.

He's quite serious; as where you've giggled your ass off falling into a sarcophagus in Egypt after falling through a faulty floor. "hey look I'm in a coffin! Finally!!! HA get it! Cuz im UNDEAD!!!"

Your assistants find you utterly psycho.

But as time goes on the Volturi has noticed that when you arrive in the whirlwind of chaos that is always in your wake Marcus is— dare they say it awake?

Aro does not akin you two to swans, more like you two are trying to figure out if you wanna strangle the other or just fuck them to death.

Sulpricia suggests it’s both.

You infuriate each other at first.

Always questions, always lengthy debates, challenges and concerns, you’re about a couple thousand years of age and have studied Archaeology and History amongst vampires for those entire years, so you can hold your own against Marcus in a debate.

The Kiss:

At one point during a rather heated— and partially drunk debate. “Do you ever stop chattering? Hush.” Marcus asks with a annoyed huff as he looks up from his texts.

“Why don’t you fucking Make me Marcus.”

Within a few moments you’re pinned between him and a wall and he’s kissing you— both of you pause, glaring at one another.

“This is gonna be a whole thing isn’t it.” You ask.

“You're infuriating--" he growls leaning back towards you as you're leaning up and gripping your hands tight into his hair.

You don’t even get a chance to speak for a long while because neither of you have enough breath when he’s got his tongue down your throat.

Yeah you end up moving into his rooms that night because "you are not going anywhere bambi."

Everyone in Volterra: The fuck just happened?

Aro:

A few things as I’ve said to take note of.

You are a brat.

Marcus is a very soft dominant, but you— oh YOU.

You can push his buttons like no one else.

And frankly you love it.

He does too though he will NEVER admit it. Because admitting it means he’s married someone like Aro and good fuck he’s never going to admit that. Minus the crazy manic side you’re very similar.

“Darling what have I told you about bones on the table?”

“No you may not drink 2000 year old wine from a jar it’s vinegar. No not even for science to see if you can taste it.”

“….. Darling. It has come to my attention there was a theft from the Smithsonian….. What do you mean…they weren’t taking care of their mummies.”

Trouble is your middle name.

But Marcus adores you.

So when you’ve been an extra bratty brat he tends to break out the punishments.

How does he punish?

He’s not a sadist like Caius and not a full blown pleasure Dom like Aro.

He’s somewhere in the middle.

He can’t make you write lines, you’ll just write them in hieroglyphs to show off.

Marcus attaches toys to you and keeps the remote.

Ohhhhh yes.

You heard me. He has one that attaches to your phones. You can literally be across the city and it will go off.

“I love modern technology. Don’t you?” He’ll smugly ask you if you’re in the library squirming.

And if you’ve really been bad you’re not allowed to touch him.

You hate it. Because in your private quarters he’ll be dressed oh so fine and you want to TOUCH and he won’t let you. “Ah ah. No.” He easily avoids you.

He also will never ending edge you. Being able to adjust venom is a benefit, as applied it can cause some ah— interesting effects to the body. Like mild numbing where you can’t get to ah… arrive…

And to top it off he’ll WATCH you try. Egg you on and once he thinks you’ve learned your lesson he’s crawling over your form and crooning to you, “do you need help bambi?”

You’re powerless.

And he knows it.

And if you done really fucked up….

He won’t acknowledge you.

That’s only happened once when you put yourself in danger with Children of the Moon during a excavation in Scotland that almost had you perma-dead.

He had been furious you didn’t listen to him about the warnings Caius had heard.

So for ignoring him, he ignored you for an entire week.

“B-but Marcus…” your voice was infuriated when you realized what he was doing.” But you only lasted so long before you just flopped over and moped.

No pets.

No nuzzles.

No kisses.

No praise.

No conversation.

It SUCKED so bad.

But then you got morbidly depressed.

To where even Aro and Caius slapped Marcus upside the head. “She’s learned her lesson!!!! We can’t take the sad puppy face when she looks at you!!!!”

His heart melted at how absolutely bereft you were without him, you’d learned your lesson, but it had terrified him that you were in danger and he had no way to protect you.

But you were his sweetheart, his sunshine, his little one.

And because in the end despite your epic bad-assery in the field of Archaeology and Anthropology you’re his little soft hearted marshmallow.

The one he went to Egypt for when they were burning ancient libraries and saved countless texts and sculptures for because you were openly weeping at the news.

Sighing, now settled the personal library for both of you, he looks up from his manuscript, “Have you learned your lesson little one?”

You won’t even look at him because you know you look pathetic and sniffle.

Another sigh, “picollina,” he only calls you this when he wants to snuggle.

Your head shoots up and your gaze is coated in venom. oh you look so hopeful and sad at the same time.

He feels utterly cruel.

Marcus opens his arms, “oh, come here baby.”

You launch into his lap so fast the chair skids a few feet. “I’m sorry!” You’re crooning against his neck, nuzzling, touching, trying to practically crawl under his skin.

And he’s no better, you’re not gonna get anywhere you’re gripped so tight. “I know, I know shhh, I’m sorry too.”

You have a very long talk about boundaries that day, and guards are assigned to you— after countless training of how to handle artifacts. Benjamin from Amun’s coven, and a member of the Russian Coven allies who specializes in Anthropology.

Marcus even goes with you on a few dangerous adventures— no one gets near you, and he even has some fun.

He still thinks you’re a goof ball.

And yes, you still end up being punished every now and then with that damn remote toy.

[theteasetwrites]

🦋 1/3 Updates 💎

Happy new year!

Thanks to everyone who's been keeping up with my stories and sending in such sweet comments. You've all really made the last four or so months of 2021 so amazing, and I can't wait to continue that in 2022! I've got lots of ideas that I'm eager to get out there.

I'm currently working on Part 2 of Some Kind of Stranger! I'm hoping to get it out by the end of the week.

Smutty chapter of The Beginning coming out this Wednesday (1/5), and Some Kind of Stranger is like all NSFW so we're starting off the new year quite sluttily (as I planned).

Didn't get to a smutty Daryl Christmas fic but there's always next year.

Expect a Mac (from Red Canyon, I know—shitty movie, Norman is hot and gross tho so I have to), oneshot soon! Again, it's going to be DISGUSTINGLY SMUTTY. I'm gonna have to do some research for this one...

Requests are open for anything you want me to write for (probably only Norman Reedus characters rn because I don't feel motivated to write for anyone else yet, but I'm keeping my options open for if/when that does happen!). Just message me or send in an ask and I will try to get it out as soon as I can in the order I get them in.

That's about all I have for now!

On a personal note, I recently applied for a masters program in library science! Super excited (and yeah that's why Reader in The Beginning is a librarian because she's essentially a self-insert I'm so sorry).

Anyway here’s Minnie:

[poormeowmeowcollector]

First Kiss, But Not On The Lips

Pair: Tony/ace!Loki (platonic)

Warnings: mentions of insomnia, nightmares, panic attack, isolation and alcohol.

Notes: Basically, the idiots in love trope is my favourite. Tony is a bi mess, Loki doesn't care about a thing (or cares about too many things), Thor is a himbo and Steve is trying. Also, yes, Loki has the ace ring (and a pride flag in his room) and he legally cannot sit like a normal person. And Steve lost the bet because he didn't expect Tony to find out about his crush on Loki within a month.

Read on AO3

"You know what, I get it. We all deserve second chances and blah blah blah, but can't Loki redeem his name on another solar system? What about Jötunnheim? He did a genocide there too!" Tony argues. At least he moves past the redeem part.

"I told you they would not accept me," Loki sighs at Thor, trying to appear stoic. But Tony sees the disappointment in him. Because he knows how to spot it in the mirror.

"Fine, he can stay for a month as a testing period. But if he causes trouble, he's gone," Steve decides. He loves speaking out the decisions even though no one will disagree.

And Thor smiles widely and hugs his brother. But Tony can still see the disappointment in Loki.

~~~

Sleeping is hard while knowing he's in the same building. Tony expected it, but it's still annoying.

"You know he was a victim too, why are you so afraid?" He asks himself but no answer is given.

He knows he won't be able to sleep, and there is a broken suit waiting for him in the lab.

Well, if he's about to pull an all nighter, he better be productive.

~~~

Tony had gotten his all nighter on a schedule. He would wait until Steve is asleep, go to the lab, and return to his bed only one hour before Steve wakes up. Of course and they all noticed his dark circles and moodiness, but he would blame nightmares and get away with it. Not that he was lying.

And, apparently, Tony is not the only one with sleeping issues.

Thor was claiming that Gods don't need sleep or nutrition. But Thor is also a sleeper and eats every time like it's his last time. But Loki doesn't. He barely touches whatever food is placed in front of him or drinks a little water and he looks more sleep deprived than Tony. But no one has the guts to say to a thousand years old powerful cranky god to go sleep or to eat, not even Thor.

And he doesn't talk. It's been days since his voice was heard. Thor doesn't like it, but the few times he mentioned it or tried to get Loki to speak or take part in a talk, he only got a glare. And Tony still doesn't know how Thor still makes Loki even get out of his room.

~~~

Once again, Tony is working on a new suit, during his favourite inhuman hours. Because two things come out at 3am, the devil and Tony Stark.

But the first dude is not helping Tony with the non functioning leg that's driving him insane.

"It's not going to work," Someone comments from the lab's door. Who the hell is up that late?

"Excuse me?" Tony turns around, only to face Loki leaning against the door frame.

"Remaking the joint to resemble a human's is not going to work. You need less strength and more flexibility, probably even another material," Loki explains, staring at Tony. He makes a small nod. Loki then straightens himself and walks closer.

"You know about mechanical engineering?" Tony asks.

"Science, magic, it's all the same on Asgard… and I happen to be the Master of Magic, and therefore…" He trails off, something sad blooming in his eyes. Homesickness, Tony recognises with ease.

"Alright, so, how do you think we'll make it work?" Tony asks, a grin on his face. But instead of answering, Loki just lifts his sleeves and grabs a wrench.

Tony watches as Loki plays with the machine—he looks more like he plays than like he's repairing something—and uses his magic to change the elements on the materials, green glows appearing and disappearing. And, after the five minutes it took him, the leg is perfect.

"Wow…" Tony whistles. Loki grins and sits on the working table, spinning the wrench on his fingers.

"It will probably last for a millennium or two," He shrugs, like it's something easy. And Tony is more impressed.

And they go on with the suit, finishing it before it's time for Tony to go and pretend he's sleeping. And Tony would use this time.

"Well, I didn't know you're good at engineering," Tony trails off. Loki shrugs in response, again sitting on the table with his legs in lotus position.

"You never asked,"

"Yeah, sorry about that. You are just too…" He suddenly can't find the word.

"Cold?" Loki asks, raising his eyebrows at Tony.

"Reserved is how I would phrase it, actually," Tony responds, making Loki hum.

"You know what, nevermind. I'm asking now. What do you like? What don't you like? Just rumble about things," He decides, big brown eyes staring at Loki. And he responds with another shrug.

"I don't know… it is quite late, so I'll probably head to my bed. Good morning, Stark," He jumps up and leaves, before Tony can even think of stopping him.

Right, he's just waiting for people to ask…

"So… Do you remember the rumble offer? Cause it still stands," Tony eyes Loki. And Loki responds with a smile.

~~~

The next morning, Loki didn't appear. Thor explained that he crashed on the bed. And it must be the hell of a sleep because he got out of his room three days after. Again, while Tony was working on a suit.

"Hey, wanna help?" Tony yells at Loki as he walks outside of the lab. And Loki nods a yes and gets to work.

"Still not sleeping, Stark?" He asks, his smart eyes pinned on the helmet of the suit.

"No rest for the wicked," Tony smiles. Looks like he's more talkative now that he's fresh.

"Tell me about it…" He sighs. Then, he grunts a bit, probably gotten hit by some remaining electricity.

Tony hadn't noticed before how pretty Loki's smile is.

And Loki takes the opportunity and starts to talk. Tony learns a lot about Loki during the Great Rumble. Dandelions are his favourite flowers, thanks to the Æsir library he became an encyclopaedia of random fun facts (even took it far enough to share some), he's a cat person, he loves classical music or music without lyrics, and then he starts sharing some stories of him and Thor as kids.

But Tony notices other things too. He noticed that Loki's eyes seem to glow when he talks about things that make him happy, he moves his hands around, he has this cute little smile that makes his face shine. And when he talks fast, his Nordic accent slips out—just some trilled 'r's or some harder sounds—and he also has a stutter that slips out. And Tony finds all of those so beautiful, but he can't say it.

"Your turn," Loki says. And Tony freezes.

Because his mind is nothing but simping for Loki, right now.

"I… em… Ya know, I…" He mutters, trying to think of something. But, Goddamnit, those shining green eyes pinning on him and waiting are so distracting.

"I'm actually bisexual, but more attracted to women than men," He snaps, finally finding something. But what if Asgard is not so accepting? Earth is having issues with those things and those guys live in the middle ages.

"Oh, nice," Loki shrugs after noticing Tony's brief pause. And it's enough to relax Tony.

"And… Dammit, this is so hard… I like cheeseburgers?" He squirts. "I don't know, can't think of something right now… when something pops up, I'll let you know," He gives up and rubs his nose bridge.

"No worries, you're hot anyways,"

Loki grins after seeing how red Tony's face became. And Tony clears his throat in hope of containing himself somehow.

"Alrighty… How's the helmet going? Tony moves the subject away. He sees Loki short-circuiting for a long moment, before remembering what they are doing here and grabbing back the helmet.

"It won't let me fix it… whenever I try to do something to the source of the issue, I get striked," He answers.

"Have you tried plastic gloves?" Tony asks, not even looking up from the hand he's oiling.

"For the helmet?" Loki asks, his eyebrows furrowed at Tony.

"For your hands, you idiot!" Tony screams, his head snapping heavenwards. Why did he agree on this?

"Fine, fine… Norns, dauðlegir eru svo stuttir í skapi... —Norns, Mortals are so short tempered…" Loki mutters under his breath.

"You know JARVIS can translate from Old Norse to English, right?" Tony snaps.

Loki shrugs and leaps into the working table and walks across it with three big steps, jumping back down with grace and opening shelves to find the gloves.

"They won't fit," He yells at Tony.

"Whatcha mean they won't fit?" Tony yells back.

Loki jumps on the table again and ends right behind Tony.

"I mean, they won't fit. They're too small," He answers to Tony's ear. Tony has learned how much Loki loved climbing on furniture, so he just turns around instead of jumping around and cussing at the God.

"Come on… how big are your hands?" He asks. Loki grabs Tony's hand and places his palm against his own. Tony's fingers were beginning on Loki's second joints, his fingers long and thin. And Tony licks his lips, because he knows what big hands mean…

Stop being horny over deities, you idiot! It didn't end well with Jesus and it won't end well with this one too! The, usually silent, voice of reason reminds him.

"Maybe you can magic them into fitting…" He suggests. Loki nods and stretches the left glove with his right hand, a green light making it bigger as he slides his hand inside.

"Thank you, Stark…" He smiles and climbs back on the table, eyes pinned on the helmet as he's playing with the screwdriver. It's been two weeks since he came here, and he still uses only last names. But when Clint called him Odinson, Thor, Steve and the Hulk had to physically hold Loki from snapping the archer's neck. And no one dares to call him Laufeyson or even think about it.

"Hey," Tony snaps. Loki flinches at the sudden noise but composes himself right after. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya," Tony apologizes.

"It's fine… What do you want to ask?" Loki shrugs one shoulder, placing the helmet on his right and the screwdriver on his left.

"Why do you call everyone by their last name but don't want to be addressed as so?" He asks.

"I'm not anyone's friend, and first names feel too familiar for such a situation. And, I won't stay for a long time…" He answers, the livid glow in his eyes fading just so.

"And, your last name?"

"I don't have one…" He whispers, with what Tony recognises as shame in his voice. Tony frowns and walks closer, staying outside of Loki's personal space.

"But you're Thor's brother and he's an Odinson," He studied his words before speaking. The last thing he wants is to trigger Loki, even as an accident.

"On Asgard and Jötenheim, last names work differently. You choose the name of the parent who you are closest to and then add the -son, -dottir or -barn. But Odin and Laufey were not close at all, and Frigga could help but she chose to keep me at arm's reach. So, no last name…" Tony can see how Loki was trying hard not to show emotions, but he is so close to breaking.

"You know, with this logic, only Thor has a last name. Don't tell Steve, but Howard was a first class terrible father. Steve's dad abandoned him and his mother, after beating the poor woman. Clint's parents made him run away and go to the circus. Natasha was given her name in the Red Room, she doesn't know who her parents are. And Bruce's was violent too. The only people with decent parents are Thor and JARVIS." Tony should move the topic away, but he didn't. At least he tries to patch it up on the last bit.

"And Dum-E," Loki adds, with a barely visible smile. A fake one. Tony hears the robot's joints moving as he lifts his upper part.

"And Dum-E," Tony agrees with a smile, and the robot makes a few happy noises. Loki laughs.

"You know, he says he loves you," He turns to Tony.

"If that's so, he earned some nice oil," Tony grabs the oil and applies some to Dum-E's joint. It doesn't stop making those mechanic noises and when Tony is over, Loki's smiling at him from the table.

"He still says he loves me, right?" Tony asks. Loki makes a slight nod, not abandoning his small smile.

"And that you are the best dad," He adds. Tony laughs and pets Dum-E before heading back to the table. But he still won't get too close to Loki, he is very strict with his personal space.

Loki grabs back the helmet and starts poking it around with the tool, now ignoring Tony.

"So, you don't feel like talking, huh?" Tony asks.

"If you mean the topic you want to talk about, then no," Loki snaps, not raising his eyes. Tony nods, he knows better than invading Loki's personal space.

And Loki didn't open his mouth for the rest of the night. The next morning, he would pretend nothing happened, but Tony would see how something changed in him. How his eyes darkened and his face became colder.

~~~

The next night, Loki is even more grumpy. So, Tony avoids speaking, or making anything that has even the slightest chance to irritate him.

"You're scared of me…" Loki finally speaks, his voice soft like a whisper and his fingers playing with the black ring on his ring finger. Tony looks up from the metal glove he's making to stare at Loki.

"Should I be scared?" Tony asks, careful not to say the wrong words.

"You are too picky about what you do around me. Why not do that if not because you are scared?" He answers. And this is where Tony lets himself frown and talks without thinking.

"Maybe because I don't want to make you feel bad?" He lets his words come out without filters. And Loki raises his eyebrow at it.

"Well, you don't lie about it. But why are you so dedicated to this?" He narrows his eyes and crosses his hands, body leaning towards Tony.

And now, he can't answer. Why does he care so much? It's not that they're old friends like with Rhodey or ex-s but still friends like with Pepper. They're not even teammates. Loki said it himself, he will leave after the one month Steve gave him.

So, why does Tony care so much?

"Hmm, nice answer…" Loki snarls and looks away, playing again with the other hand of the suit.

"You're a cold son of a whore, you know that?" Tony spits, his eyes stabbing Loki. He now raises his glare again, but he looks more confused than before.

"I beg your pardon?" He blinks.

"I try to be decent towards you, okay? The reasons behind it don't matter. Could be fear, guilt, interest, it means jack. And you question me on how I dare be decent towards you and why and what I want from you! You know what, I have a question for you. Why can't you accept being treated as a normal person? Are you that messed up in the brain or you just love so much being alone and miserable?" Tony lets his thoughts come out as they are, not giving a care how much they will hurt Loki. But the moment he sees Loki's reaction, he regrets it.

The room gets cold enough for Tony to see his breathing. Loki leaves the tools and the metal hand beside him and locks his feet on a tight fatal position, his hands on his face and pulling some hair with enough strength to pull them out and his shoulders rising and falling too fast.

And Tony knows what this means… It means he messed up badly.

"Crap! Hey, buddy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things…" He sprints closer. Loki raises his hand towards him, a green glow erupting from it and sending Tony flying to the other side of the lab.

Loki mutters something to this in Old Norse, before jumping up and leaving, his feet shaking as he was trying to walk towards the exit. But he manages to vanish in the dark corridor anyways.

And this time, Tony definitely messed up the worst way possible.

~~~

For the next two weeks, Loki doesn't get out of his room. And it only makes the knot in Tony's stomach grow tighter. He asks Thor all the time how Loki is, if he eats, if he sleeps, if he needs something. It's a wonder Thor hasn't grown tired of the constant questioning. And the answer is always the same, "I don't know, he won't let me in,".

And if everyone on the tower has learned something about Loki, is that things are bad when he keeps Thor at arm's length.

Tony wants to go and check on Loki himself, but he bets his right hand that Loki will spit curses at him, and he has every right to do so. So, he has to settle down on annoying Thor and worrying with him.

"You know what? It's my fault," Tony admits to Thor the night before Loki leaves. And Thor furrowed his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

Tony explains everything that happened that night, and Thor smiles with sympathy and touches Tony's neck.

"You were right on your words, that's why Loki reacted like this. He doesn't want people to know too much about him… But he won't be mad at you." He answers.

"But, why do I care so much? We barely know each other…" Tony asks.

"Have you thought of love?" Thor suggest. Tony is about to smack Thor for saying something like this, but it makes sense.

"Do… you don't happen to know if he's queer, right?" Tony makes the big question.

"I know very few Æsir who are not your definition of queer, but Loki was never open about those things. You better ask him…" He shrugs.

Well, Thor has a point. But Tony can't exactly ask Loki what his sexuality is while he's like this. So, he better wait till it's time.

"Thank you, Point Break…" Tony pats Thor's back. And then, JARVIS yells at them that Steve wants everyone in the central room.

And there is everyone here, even Loki. Well, an emotionally drained and mentally exhausted Loki, but he's there.

"As you know, your month has passed…" Steve begins talking, his Captain Voice on. Loki nods and lowers his shoulders to appear smaller.

"I'll be on my way, then…" He mutters, voice low and breaking. Steve wants to smile, but Loki's reaction stops him.

"So, you don't want to be an Avenger?" He lets his Captain mask fall, eyeing Loki with worry. And every single one of the Avengers is now doing the same. Tony hadn't realised that this antisocial emo little God had become so popular.

Loki lets his lips make a smile so big Tony bets it hurts like hell.

"You mean I can stay?" He asks, his voice now louder and livid.

"Can't see a reason to kick you out," Steve smiles too.

And Loki drags him to a hug tight enough to break the poor soldier in half, smiling like a sunbeam and rumbling thank you again and again.

"Alright, can you let me breathe?" Steve wheezes. Loki makes a small oh sound and lets go of the hug.

"Sorry, Steve," He hums, not breaking eye contact.

"Steve? Where's the "Rogers"?" Clint asks, his eyebrows raised and his hands signing along even though he wears his hearing aids.

"Well, since I'm about to stay, there's no point in calling you with your last names, is there?" Loki shrugs.

"Alright, you know what we need? A party. Who's with me?" Tony claps his hands and yells, glad to see everyone agreeing.

~~~

Apparently, being an alien God makes you hold your liquor a lot. Tony knew about Steve, but he didn't expect those two to have this stamina as well.

But Thor has started losing his balance and yelling at everyone how much he loves them in Old Norse and Loki's accent and stutter are showing, but he is just sitting on the bar and watching over the chaos.

This is your chance. He's happy and drunk enough, what could possibly go wrong? Tony thinks and stumbles towards Loki before he sits on a tall stool.

"So, are you having fun?" He asks, smiling at Loki and sipping on his scotch. It's fine, he's done this countless times before and he can do it now.

"It's quite nice, yes…" Loki hums, now turning to face Tony.

"And, em… Sorry about the other night… It was too much, should have been midler on ya," Tony mumbles, trying not to lower his eyes and break eye contact. Loki makes a soft nod.

"It's fine, you don't have to apologize… And you were quite right about some things…" He gives Tony a small smile as he talks, making him relax his shoulders a bit a mouth a thank you.

"And I wanna tell you something… I also talked to Thor about it… And I think… No, I'm pretty sure I have a crush on you. And, that's why the care and stuff…" Tony rumbles, his eyes big as he searches for reaction. But Loki stays untouched.

"I am… flattered… But I'm also asexual," He breathes out, staring back at Tony for a reaction.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't want to make it uncomfortable…" Tony rushes to apologize. Couldn't he see the black wedding ring? It's a symbol of asexuality!

"You know, things can work out platonically. I mean, you do start to grow on me…" Loki responds, smiling just a bit.

"Really? I mean, you don't mind?" Tony grins at the response, his eyes big at the God. Loki shrugs.

"Yeah, If you are okay with not getting laid with me…"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" Tony gives Loki an ear to ear smile and grabs his right hand, kissing gently the black ring.

Loki's cheeks and ears get bright red and he bites his lower lip. Tony is quick to let go of his hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable…" He chunters, now lowering his glare and playing with his glass.

"It was… nice…" Loki whispers, most likely to himself. But Tony still snaps his head up.

"Seriously?"

"Yes… And…" The red blush appears back in his cheeks as he fidgets with his sleeves. "It was the first time someone kissed me…"

"No way!" Tony exhales.

"I know, embarrassing…" Loki bites his lip again, breaking eye contact.

"I'm actually honoured. Not a lot of humans had the chance to steal the first kiss of a God, you know," Tony grins, hoping the joke is not that bad.

Loki reacts with a snorting sound and a light punch on the ribs, that sends Tony straight to the floor and makes the glass scatter in pieces.

"Oh, dear, are you alright?!" Loki squirts at Tony.

"I think I need a safeword…" Tony grunts.

He is sure that Loki will grimace on the joke, but instead, he giggles like a highschool girl.

"Most definitely yeah," He sighs, handing over an identical glass with the one they broke.

From the back of the room, no one sees Thor laughing as Steve sighs at the view of Loki and Tony and handing over the twenty dollars of the bet.

[raslolin]

۞𖣔 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𖣔۞

Silva walked through the hallway silently with his footsteps while holding the lightweight box in his hand.

No matter what's happening in the manor right now he doesn't care.

Even when his partner was calling for help.

The more he walked the louder Kikyo's scream is.

'Listening to her screeching is like satan propose her a marriage by torture.'

Thinking back about what Kikyo said and how she behaved.

Kikyo screams to his face to his back for a week after his son's runaway.

"Killua just ran away! At least do something instead of watching he ran off!"

"The hell were kind of thoughts are in your mind that time do something! Tell me at least!!"

"THIS IS DISAPPOINTING!"

"Hunter exam!? What is he doing there."

"WHAT?! There's for fun!?! What kind of-"

He shuts his mind off about his wife it seems to make him less stressful for now.

'About Killua.. Illumi will deal with him.'

'This will get more and more annoying..'

Narrowing his eyes slightly as he reached the outside in seconds.

'Time to visit.'

He feels the book was the main problem of it all when in reality it's the opposite.

'This must be solve.'

Zeno fastly reach for the knob of the library door slammed it open as the butlers followed him inside.

To the butlers horrified expressions, he know it's time for him to step out and never mind about this business again or maybe just get out of this household full of nothing but his daughter in-law screams.

Ready to walk out of the library he stops.

'In the end I can't avoid it.'

Signing to himself he turned to the staffs and ordered them out.

"All of you get out."

His raspy voice were filled with nothing but dissatisfaction, disappointment and the irritation he's feeling began bubbling inside his body faintly.

After all of them out of room he waited and waited.

'Where's Milluki? I heard him I'm sure..'

"Mama!"

Milluki arrived with sweats and breaths hitching every seconds his eyes still on the ground.

It took a minute to bring himself back together again. His eyes widened in surprise.

"She's dead."

His grandfather said his face still the same as ever.

"What do you mean grandpa? Mama's still breathing."

Milluki's voice sounds relieved after he saw his mother's body twitching for help.

Silva's now arrive in front of the destination he supposed to be visit two time years ago.

Ready to knock on the door only for the door itself opened by a mere maid.

"Master is expecting you mister Zoldyck."

Without anymore words the maid leads him to the beautifully decorated detail wooden door.

Hands up to knock on the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

No answer.

He knocked again three times louder.

Still no answer.

Without hesitation he opened the door only to find a grey haired man sitting in the chair facing his way to the door.

"Why didn't you open the door?"

Silva asked clearly still confused and not used to his friend's weird behavior.

"Why? Well if you came here before marry that hysterical unstable bitch everything would go fine!"

"That golden child of yours won't runaway from home if you were here six years ago but.. something important must be an exchange for an unfit able heir."

The man slowly whisper the last part quietly that Silva can't make out other than his stupid endless rumbling insults for the pale blonde hair's man.

'He needs to stop saying this.'

Sighed to himself disappointingly seeing his old friend look interest or with suspicions to the object in his hand.

"That's what you want me to talk about?"

The grey hair man stood up from his chair walked past him only to lock the door behind Silva.

In the blink of his eyes only to see his friend sat on the same chair again with another chair on the opposite side of the table.

Walked up to the another side of the table by his large two steps pulled the chair out and sit.

"Have you had any breakfast yet?"

"No.."

"Great you god damn son of a bitch!"

"..."

"And tell your wife to learn her manners about getting into people business and being persistent."

"Of course."

"Let's have some breakfast first before we get to the point."

His friend whose seemed happy after leashed out his raged to him for not teaching his wife step out of the line.

Silva could only nod in agreement hoping his friend wouldn't talk about much he himself made wrong choices in his life.

A needle man face who's running at steady speed in the boring looking group of people.

The sounds of the man's phone ringing loud enough only for his ears, as the crown he's in spilt up suddenly.

What a luck he has today! The perfect time to report as he feels the vibration of his phone ringing once more.

He slows down his running as examiners in front of him all vanished to the air.

Leaving him and the other boring looking examine who looks ready to give up on everything.

Pulled out a needle from his ear suddenly appears in front of the young girl who barely feels her surroundings.

'Perfect around my height.'

Pierced a needle on her head as he speed up taking out all of his needles around her neck to her whole face.

"Follow the examiner-"

"Oh! And use the radio when you're near the destination act your best behavior."

Throw the radio at the zombie like pose person as she catch it.

The disguise girl who walked like a zombie slowly developed to humanly robotic running.

He walked to the other side of the forest find a perfectly spot for a private talking in the trees.

Pulled his phone from pants pocket he push the round button accepting his family's member call.

"Hello?"

"Oh finally you answered!"

"You do know where I am right now. What is it?"

"Uhh we need you to be here as soon as possible after the exam."

"That's doesn't matter after the exam I have business to go."

"Well forgot about your business with that annoying clown or with the brat, mama's not in good shape however it's like god's favor her a miracle she's survived."

"Of course Killua went too far with her than you."

"That's not what I meant, her neck literally twisted to the other side and still breathing."

"What do you mean mother's neck was distorted but she's still alive?"

The monotone voice were hinted with confusion.

"That's what I mean. I don't know how she's alive either-"

His younger brother voice filled with fascination.

'Mother's not in good shape, Milluki shouldn't be thinking about that cartoon show he always watch and compare the situation with it.'

Frowning to himself dissatisfaction clearly showed what kind of emotions he felt.

Before he open his mouth tell his brother to get straight to the point.

"And don't worry she's in good hands."

The sounds of the younger one voice now filled with relief.

"Really? Thank god, tell me more."

"Well yes while mama's screeching were covering someone's chanting."

"Chant?"

"Yeah, grandpapa said it was like echoing the hallway if it's possible the whole mountain could hear it."

"Then?"

"Then- uhh I can't tell you because I don't know. I meant we don't know and after the exam we need you to be here."

"What's the hurry?"

"I don't know okay! At least act like the brat is now your second priority that's dad's order!"

"Of course if what that's father says so, anything more?"

"Grandpa said it himself and he said he heard me shouting before I'm at the library. He said my voice were either inside the library or outside but not too far from the room and I can't shout too loud or my throat gonna be sore."

The younger sibling spoke fast but enough at least for him to catch on.

"After Gotoh investigated the others it seems only everyone's heard my shout not what grandpapa heard."

"You know father said to not believe in what grandfather says."

"I do. What about Killua?"

"He's fine."

"Okay."

The call between two eldest siblings ended.

'Oh I forgot to asked about father. But from Milluki's voice I think it's enough.'

'If it more possible instead of what something unbelievable like a woman who dressed in laced as they say. It's just illusion but what if it's not? There's proofs especially the ones that had been confirmed by Nen-users and science.'

'The time Killua ran from home I wasn't there.. From what I heard the wounds are deep enough but he only managed to hurt her face. Killu's height are not enough to reach her face probably her neck and chest.'

He then took a deep breath long enough to relax his body after the news he had been informed too.

'I wasn't informed correctly am I? I'm sure I am. The butlers aren't stupid enough to break any rules. If her neck twist to the other side but instead like almost cutting down a tree and Milluki always use words that's not fitting the meaning when he's angry.'

'As much as I remembered grandfather conversion between chairman's Netero...'

'Looks like it's something more important than Killua. Impossible. Unbelievable.'

'If he knows Nen before mother could've die.. and possibly Milluki too. A double edged sword situation.'

Lean on the tree he's been standing for almost 10 minutes letting out a hot breath from his mouth.

"This is troublesome than I thought."

"Hm~"

His attentions is now on the bright pink haired man who just carried the other man on his shoulder steadily.

'Killua's friends? Not good.'

"Looks like your house is full of problems now ❤︎ "

The clown magician whose now full of joy seeing his motionless friend struggles.

"Do you need any help, Illumi?"

The bright pink hair man chuckles loudly.

"Can you not interfere my business?"

"Well I can't help it when you talked about that."

Sounds of multiple footsteps past them quickly, Illumi took it as a sign to give himself privacy somewhere else.

"Hisoka, we will talk about that later private matters."

With that the jet black hair man gone only to find him running in the crowd of examiners blending perfectly.

"Okay~"

'Time to pick new toys ❤︎ '

Hisoka looks up the sky only to find the weird cloud shapes display to his own golden eyes.

He pulls out a card from his pocket pants flip the card pattern side to his eyes.

The beautiful pink pattern make him feel at ease like it always was in the past.

Slowly life his hand up to sky challenging himself by keeping the card's pattern blind his sights.

As his arm reached it's limit stretch he flipped the card symbol side to his view.

'Hearts?'

Slowly slide the card to the other side of his view comparison seeing the shape hearted cloud in white to black colored that's above him everywhere he stands.

'Will it be other shape next time I wonder..'

A card were sent to his way fastly but not fast enough to hurt him.

'Someone's watching!'

'First time every been attacked by a card..'

'But who would use it as a weapon against me?'

He pull the card that's stuck in the tree he’s leaning on.

"Oopsie~! almost hurt you ❤︎"

He glanced at the unconscious glasses man whose on his shoulder.

"But-! You're not important that much right now ♠︎ "

Pull out the card by his hand that support his arm holding the small glasses young adult.

Throw the beautiful pattern card to his other hand's up to the sky.

Much to his expectations eyes widened in shock.

A person wearing a lacy card symbols dress swaying on the swing happily.

The ropes that's on both of person hands are torn suddenly by pulling down the forced to the ground.

Gender of the person fastly revealed as the cloth from her head can't keep up sensitivity falling from the sky.

There's no scream of panicking. No laughing. No crying. Nothing just nothing.

As the woman falling now nearing Hisoka she's use her two hands cover his eyes before her head smashed to the soft grass ground.

*TNGH!!!*

𝙶𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔? 𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚛 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝? 𝚈𝚎𝚜

[somuchtostudysolittletime]

hi i think tumblr might have eaten my previous ask but i'm a yr 12 in england considering pharmacy. unfortunately i don't know anyone i could ask about it so could you tell me a bit about the good the bad and the dirty of being a pharmacy student in the uk please? i'm trying to convince my parents that this is what i want but they feel that i'm not well informed enough so just something from a former student's pov would be great

(if not and you just didn't want to answer i'm really sorry about this and you don't have to answer)

Hi! I am so so so sorry for not responding - I thought I had but my post seems to have vanished :/ Also, a pre-warning, this’ll be SUPER long if you really want the good, the bad, and the dirty. Also I wrote thoughts as I had them so this is not in a coherent order sorry haha. If you have any questions, please let me know and I’ll do my best to help, my final exam to become a pharmacist is a week away so I might not respond super fast because I am Dying but I’ll do my best!

TLDR- pharmacy is fab.

Okay first, in case you don’t know, pharmacy is 4 years. Then you do a pre-reg year when you work full time, then you sit your final exam, then you’re a pharmacist. They’re reviewing this after covid broke the system completely and left my year in a mess, but for now that’s what you can expect to get yourself into.

The good!!!

Pharmacy is super interesting!! Learning about how medicines affect the body and how the body affects the medicines is so interesting, and you’ll become an expert in medicines - what to use when, what shouldn’t be used together, and how to get the most benefit out of them. 

You’re with all the other pharmacy students SO much that you end up with a really close-knit group of friends because you’re all together all the time in lectures/labs/etc

It has great job prospects - you have a masters degree. Be a community pharmacist, a hospital pharmacist, an industry pharmacist, teach pharmacy, quit pharmacy and do science, there are SO many options that you can do with a pharmacy degree! And, at the end of uni you’re basically guaranteed a job.

Because pharmacy is SO intense, you have a lot of contact time, so you’re getting your £9,250 worth! You can expect to be in classes pretty much 9-5 for the first year or so, it’s super busy so you learn time management pretty fast!

By the time you graduate they’ll have changed the system so much that I’m p sure you’ll be a prescriber on graduation, or the year after which is SUPER cool and means you have even more job opportunities open to you. 

Pharmacy labs have so much variety - you have chemistry labs (the classic - make paracetamol, extract aspirin, use chemicals), biology labs (microbiology and physiology too so monitoring heart rate etc), and then pharmaceutics labs - my one true love. Making creams, making tablets, making all sorts of medicines which is so much fun

You also have dispensing classes where you’re essentially learning how to be a pharmacist, how to dispense, how to check medicines, how to make sure they’re safe, how to advise patients on how to use them which is super fun! 

As well as labs and dispensing classes, you’ll also have normal lectures, seminars, workshops etc so it’s super varied with lots of learning methods. Also you get to go on placements to put your learning into practice which really really helps!

It’s great to actually be a pharmacist - I LOVE helping people and being able to make a difference to patients

In uni most modules are mandatory, so as well as knowing your friends well, you’ll know your lecturers well. By 4th year I got on so well with most of my lecturers, it’s like a pharmacy family

You get to use a mixture of science and clinical skills - you use the science from A levels and the start of your degree and build upon it to find out why drugs work and why they have x side effect and why you can’t use them in y people. 

4 year course = extra year at uni = one more freshers week and one more year of not paying council tax and one more year of fun with your friends before real life

I couldn’t not mention the BPSA - it’s the British Pharmaceutical Students Association and they do events and a week long conference every year over Easter which is lit- you meet other pharmacy students from other schools of pharmacy and debate pharmacy, have guests talk to you, do workshops, get evening entertainment, it really is the best PLUS then you learn about the European version of the BPSA and can go abroad if you’re lucky!

Graduating with a masters with your best friends and the lecturers that supported you through 4 years of hard work is one of the best things to ever happen!!!!!! Fab achievement

The bad!

Pharmacy is really hard. It’s 4 years of hard work, then more hard work after you graduate. You need to be committed to pharmacy because it is LONG and HARD and you will undoubtedly have times that you want to quit. I did pharmacy whilst on a range of antidepressants (don’t worry, the depression came first - pharmacy isn’t THAT bad) and it was brutal at times. The workload is intense.

It’s really tiring - I remember a time in first year where I was in lectures all day, went home to eat, then went to the library all evening to revise for exams. Now I’m old I’m just tired and I don’t have the stamina for that but there are times where pharmacy will wear you out - but the successes are worth it. 

Because it’s 4 years long, your non pharmacy friends will graduate before you. My campus was impossible to walk across without seeing someone you know, and then at 4th year that just ends because everyone leaves at 3rd year. And you feel really old because the freshers are 18 and excited about uni and you’re 22 and tired.

People don’t like pharmacists. That isn’t strictly true, but don’t read anything on facebook about pharmacists. The general public don’t know what we do and therefore they don’t like us and see us as the barrier between them and their medicines. Also if a medicine has been discontinued that is YOUR fault personally and the patient will tell you ‘if I die it’s your fault’ - usually over something stupid like heartburn meds. Don’t let it get to you though - the patients who appreciate us and say kind things really do make up for all the abuse. 

You need a life outside pharmacy or it’ll get too much pharmacy- especially if you live with pharmacists too. You’re together 24/7 and that’s too much so make sure you join a sport or a society so you can talk to people about something other than medicines. 

The dirty

People think you’re a wannabe medic. Medical students also don’t like pharmacy students - or maybe that was just my uni. We try and say pharmacy is hard that they will ALWAYS one-up us. Whatever, when they’re qualified and we save their ass catching a prescribing error, they’ll love us then

Everyone knows everyone in pharmacy. The other day I got really excited when I attended a webinar and one of the hosts was a guy who wrote one of my fave textbooks. It is a VERY small world, so make sure you’re hardworking and kind so people have the right impression!

[akathecentimetre]

Hey there, so I really like history as a subject, and I'm pretty good at it. The thing is, I don't know what my career options would be if I studied it, or if I would be able to make money. My parents are heavily discouraging me from taking it as a major. As a 'historian' in training' what's your take? Thank you

Hi there! Sorry for the delay, ‘tis the hectic season…

Oh man, I have so many thoughts for you. Full disclosure: this is something I have worked on a LOT over the course of my graduate career both at my uni and on a national level; most of my advice, however, comes from a PhD candidate’s perspective and may not be directly helpful to an undergraduate, and I should also emphasize that everything I can say on this is very firmly based on the U.S. market only. That being said, a lot of what I can say can be universally applied, so here we go - 

The number of history undergraduates in the U.S. has plummeted in the last decade or so, from it previously being one of the most popular majors. There are many interacting reasons for this: a changeover from older to younger, better-trained, energetic professors who draw in and retain students has been very slow to occur, partly because of a lack of a mandatory retirement age; the humanities have been systematically demonized and minimized in favor of the development of STEM subjects, to the occasional benefit of students of color and women but to the detriment of critical public discourse and historical perspective on current events; with many liberal arts colleges going under financially and the enormous expansion of academic bureaucracy everywhere, resources are definitely being diverted away from social and human studies towards fields which are perceived to pay better or perceived, as mentioned in the article above, as being more ‘practical.’ (We do need a ton more healthcare workers/specialists, but that’s a different conversation to have.) But now I feel like quoting a certain Jedi Master: everything your parents say is wrong. Let’s dive into why being a historian is a positive thing for you both as a person and as a professional - 

You will be a good reader. As you learn to decipher documents and efficiently and thoroughly read secondary literature, you will develop a particular talent for understanding what is important about any piece of writing or evidence (and this can go for visual and aural evidence as well). This will serve you well in any position in which you are collecting/collating information and reporting to colleagues or superiors, and evaluating the worth of resources. Specific example - editorial staff at publishing houses either private or academic, magazines, etc. 

You will be a good writer. This will get you a good job at tons of places; don’t underestimate it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been astonished (not in a punitive way, of course, but definitely with a sense of befuddlement) by how badly some of my Ivy-league students can write. Good writing is hard, good writing is rare, and good writing is a breath of fresh air to any employer who puts a high premium upon it in their staff. History in principle is the study of change; history in practice is presenting information in a logical, interesting, and persuasive manner. Any sort of institution which asks you to write reports, summaries, copy, etc. etc. will appreciate your skills. 

You will be a good researcher. This sounds like a given, but it’s an underappreciated and vital skill. Historians work as consultants. Historians work in government - almost every department has an Office of the Historian - and in companies, writing company histories and maintaining institutional archives. A strong research profile will also serve you well if you want to go on to work in museum studies and in libraries public or private/academic. As a historian, you will know not just where to find information, but what questions you have to ask to get to the answer of how to tackle, deconstruct, and solve a problem. This is relevant to almost any career path. 

You will provide perspective. Historians react to current events in newspapers and online - not just on politics, but culture as well (my favorite article of this week is about the historicity of The Aeronauts). Historians act as expert witnesses in court proceedings. Historians write books, good books, not just meant for academic audiences but for millions upon millions of readers who need thoughtful, intelligent respite from the present. Historians work for thinktanks, providing policy analysis and development (a colleague of mine is an expert on current events of war in Mali and works for multiple thinktanks and organizations because of it). Historians work for nonprofits or lobbying groups on issues of poverty, environmental safety, climate change, and minority and indigenous rights. In a world when Texas school textbooks push the states’ rights narrative, historians remind us that the Civil War was about slavery. Historians remind us that women and people of color have always existed. In this time and world where STEM subjects are (supposedly) flooding the job market, we need careful historical perspective more than ever. We need useful reactions to the 2016 election, to the immigration travesties on display at the southern border, to the strengthening of right-wing parties in Europe - and history classes, or thoughtfully historical classes on philosophy and political science, are one of the few places STEM and business students gain the basic ability to participate in those conversations. [One of my brightest and most wonderful students from last year, just to provide an anecdote, is an astrophysics major who complained to me in a friendly conversation this semester that she never got the chance to talk about ‘deep’ things anymore once she had passed through our uni’s centralized general curriculum, which has a heavy focus on humanities subjects.]

You will be an educator. Teaching is a profession which has myriad challenges in and of itself, but in my experience of working with educators there is a desperate need for secondary-school teachers in particular to have actual content training in history as opposed to simply being pushed into classrooms with degrees which focus only on pedagogical technique. If teaching is a vocation you are actually interested in, getting a history degree is not a bad place to start at all. And elementary/high schools aside, you will be teaching someone something in every interaction you have concerning your subject of choice. Social media is a really important venue now for historians to get their work out into the world and correct misconceptions in the public sphere, and is a place where you can hone a public and instructive voice. You could also be involved in educational policy, assessment/test development (my husband’s field, with a PhD in History from NYU), or educational activism. 

If some of this sounds kind of woolly and abstract, that’s because it is. Putting yourself out there on the job market is literally a marketing game, and it can feel really silly to take your experience of 'Two years of being a Teaching Assistant for European History 1500-1750’ and mutate it to 'Facilitated group discussions, evaluated written work from students [clients], and ran content training sessions on complex subjects.’ But this sort of translation is just another skill - one that can be learned, improved, and manipulated to whatever situation you need it to fit.

Will you make money? That’s a question only you can answer, because only you know what you think is enough money. That being said, many of the types of careers I’ve mentioned already are not low-paying; in my experience expertise is, if you find the right workplace and the rewarding path, usually pretty well-remunerated. 

Specific advice? Hone your craft. Curate an active public presence as a historian, an expert, a patient teacher, and as as person enthusiastic about your subject. Read everything and anything. Acknowledge and insist upon complexity, and celebrate it when you can. 

And finally - will any of what I’ve said here make it easy? No, because no job search and no university experience is easy these days. It’s a crazy world and there are a lot of awful companies, bosses, and projects out there. But I do very firmly believe that you can find something, somewhere, that will suit your skills, and, hopefully, your passions too. 

Resources for you: the American Historical Association has a breakdown of their skills-based approach to the job market, reports on the job market(s) for history PhDs collectively called ‘Where Historians Work,’ and a mentorship program, Career Contacts, which could connect you with professional historians in various workplaces. There is a very active community of historians on Twitter; search for #twitterstorians. For historians who identify as female, Women Also Know History is a newer site which collates #herstorian bios and publications to make it easier for journalists to contact them for expert opinions. ImaginePhD provides career development tools and exercises for graduate students, but could probably be applied to undergrads as well. The Gilder Lehrman Institute is one of the premier nonprofits which develops and promotes historical training for secondary school teachers and classroom resources (U.S. history only). Job listings are available via the AHA, the National Council on Public History, and the IHE, as well as the usual job sites. And there’s an awful lot more out there, of course - anyone who reads or reblogs this post is welcome to add field-specific or resource-specific info. 

I hope this helps, Anon, or at least provides you with a way to argue in favor of it to your parents if it comes to that. Chin up!

[thundermaximoff]

Deity | Loki x reader

Pairing: Loki x reader

Style: One-Shot

Word count: 3048

Warning: fluff

Summary: Y/N new between Avengers. But she's not so confident with her powers and their controlling. And now she needs to attend Tony's annual Gala.

Will anyone be able to help her with her confidence?

A/N: Holy molly...I did it! First of all, I'm not good in writing One-Shots. It always ends as multichapter. Second thing is that this is my first fiction in English after 6years. So I know it's actually crappy. But I needed to write something different, since I'm stuck with my other stories. And I want to thank @devilbat @that-writer-who-never-posts and @ladybugsfanfics for their amazing stories that inspired me to write this one.

Hope you'll like it.

"So...The Gala." Said Wanda, trying to sound like she wasn't interested at all.

"What with that?" Sam got caught by her little bait and shifted a bit on the sofa in the living quarters, so now he was half lying.

It was again that part of the year,when none other than Tony Stark forced everyone, to dress up and kiss some wealthy asses, to get money for the upcoming year. 

Or at least, that's what Natasha told Y/N when she asked why is there such a fuss around it. It was clear to her that no one actually wanted to go. Except Steve and Thor. Thor loved every party with alcohol. And Steve was just like labrador. He loved people and couldn't help himself.

Y/N put down the book she was barely reading, because of so many voices interrupting her peace. She was sitting on the floor with back resting against the sofa. 

"Alright guys, it's not going to be that bad." 

Y/N turned her head after the voice, raising eyebrows on Clint. 

"I don't have dress." Mumbled Wanda to herself, because no one didn't paid attention to her anymore. 

As they were loudly arguing one over the other Y/N sighed to herself. It wasn't about that nobody noticed her presence in the room so far, but because being around big crowd of people just wasn't her thing.

Even just thinking about, what can go wrong there, made her nauseous. Y/N looked at her hands and bit her lower lip to gain back at least a drop of her control.

"I can't go there." Y/N muttered, hoping that no one could actually hear her.

"Sorry for ruining, whatever your plans are Draga, but everyone needs to attend." Said lazily voice behind her back. As Y/N turned her head, clearly startled by whoever noticed her, she met with half asleep Bucky. "That's the rule."

He didn't even look at her. Just comfortably folded his arms on his chest. But thanks to this old soldier,  everyone was now looking at her.

"Is there any possible way to get out of it?" Y/N looked desperately around, searching for anyone to save her.

"What's the problem?" That spider-boy, who she couldn't even remember the name,sat beside her.

"Peter…" 

Natasha walked into the room. And Y/N was glad she did, because thanks to it, she was able to address this poor boy by his name again.

"What?" He asked Natasha with puppy-like face.

"You're not going." She said firmly with serious, or rather more murderous look.

"WHY  I CAN'T  GO?" Peter immediately threw a tantrum. Huffing like a little boy he was.

"Tony banned you. You know, what happened last time." When Natasha said that, that boy's face turned its colour to crimson red.

Y/N could only presume, what happened, since she wasn't part of the squad back then. And that was the thing Y/N feared the most. Her powers were unstable, when she got nervous. And she got nervous easily. The last thing she wanted was to make a scene or turn the room upside down. 

Which could happen even now. She loved all the Avengers. They were her only family. But they were too much to handle, when they were all in one room. Sometimes Thor was enough to get on her power control.

"Are you worried about your powers?" Asked Clint as if he was able to read her mind.

"Nothing's gonna happen." Pietro swifted behind Wanda, leaning to kiss her forehead as she was sitting in the armchair comfortably. 

Y/N was envious of their relationship, even though they were just siblings. She didn't want to admit it out loud, but she was jealous. 

"How do you know that?" Y/N asked, her lower lip now shivering slightly.

"Because we all will be there to get embarrassed instead." Said Bucky, finally giving up on sleeping. He sat up and smiled with still sleepy eyes at Y/N.

Y/N felt a bit reassured by his words. But still felt uneasy about the upcoming event, she couldn't run from.

"But can you imagine, Y/N tripping while walking down the stairs, starting to panic in the middle of the fall, only to teleport onto someone's lap?" Sam wasn't even able to say that without laughing like a mad man, rolling from the sofa, falling on the ground.

Y/N cheeks started to heat up as she imagined it vividly. 

"Or that Y/N get so scared that she turns to liquid in front of the prime minister." Ads Wanda and high-fives with Sam.

Few other laughs, but it doesn't seem so funny to others. And especially to Y/N. 

In the middle of those two laughing and Y/N feeling embarrassed like never before, Bucky stood up and looked at everyone. 

"Not so funny to me." He silenced them both by that single sentence. "And now, if you excuse me. I need to prepare my formal arm."

Everyone burst out laughing. Every one except Y/N. As she more and more succumb into her own fear, she's not able to stay in the room. Without any other word Y/N vanished, scaring the hell out of Peter.

Y/N was pacing in her room. Opposing emotions fighting inside her. She once again glanced at dress sprawled on her bed.

I heard what happened. And I know you feel insecure about your powers. I'm not going to persuade you to come, but if you decide to come, I'll be glad.

Y/N sighed and buried face in her hands. Everyone tried to calm her anxiety. Bruce tried to find way to calm her. But all the science was useless. Sam and Wanda even apologised for their childish behaviour. But none of that helped to decide.

It was that note, stucked to those beautiful dress in front of her, which made her think about going.

There was no name on the note. Y/N had no idea who sent those, but they were exquisite. Part of her didn't want them to come in vain. Even if that meant, she'll get embarrassed in them.

Hour and half later, and already being late, Y/N stopped in front of the elevator doors. She didn't feel like herself. It was easier for her to run in shirt and pants around the compounds than in dresses. Her uniform was better than this. Mostly, because she already got used to it. Partly.

Another sigh escaped Y/N lips as she absentmindedly looked at doors.

I can't do it

Yes I can

No I can't 

I can

Y/N's hands shaking as she finally pressed the button on the side of the elevator. She wanted to do this for herself. To stop being such a coward. Like when Avengers found her. When they saved her.

She was scared a lot more back then. For a few weeks she was able to talk just to Steve and Tony. Y/N forced herself into it. Just like she was forcing herself now.

Part of her wanted to find out, who is the person, which sent her the dress. But she already had idea who it might've been. That note was diligently and beautifully written. That left just a few options to choose between. 

Y/N got out of the elevator and walked down the hall. Each step accompanied with loud thud of her heart. She at least tried to find a piece of confidence in it.

Cabaret music was faintly playing as a background to loud voices of the people in the room. It was the largest one in whole compounds and yet it was overflowing with people.

Y/N halted in front of the railing and looked around, feeling a bit nauseous. She spotted a few of her friends laughing loudly. Some were in the middle of passionate discussions. And Thor was occupying the bar, as always.

Close to him was standing person Y/N saw only occasionally around. Mostly on missions or in the library. It was none other than Thor's brother, Loki. 

His raven hair tidily combed to the back, curling behind his ears and around his neck like snakes. His Asgardian clothes were a little bit off today, but he looked good despite that. He was standing out. It wasn't even his classic one. The black, green with hints of gold. This one was mostly blue with yellow and black. It perfectly underlined his icy blue eyes.

As if he knew, someone was looking at him, Loki raised his gaze, meeting with Y/N's eyes. He couldn't believe his eyes. On the top of the stairs stood completely different person than he knew. She was always like gray mouse. But in the blue sleeveless dress with, yet to discover, bare back and veil, she looked like a goddess. Like she wasn't earthling at all.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. Nor he was able to speak.

Y/N immediately looked away and slowly walked down the stairs. Holding onto the railing the whole time, as she clearly remembered what Sam said before.

"Oh my God Y/N. You look stunning. Where did you got those dress?" Wanda squeezed both her hands, thoroughly examining the gown.

"Someone sent them to me." Y/N answered shyly as she tucked loosen strand of her hair behind her ear. 

"Gave you that needed confidence to come, huh?" Appeared Pietro out of nowhere.

But that didn't scared Y/N at all. She was a master of appearing from nowhere.

"Or...she want to know, who sent her these." Wanda smiled at her devilishly, which made Y/N blush through thin layer of makeup she had on.

"Let her be, you sharks." 

Y/N heard Thor's loud voice as well as Maximoff twins. Her face immediately lightened up as she turned at the God of thunder. 

"Thor! I'm so glad to see you." Y/N shortened the space between them and hugged him, which the God returned gracefully. 

"I'm glad to see you as well lady Y/N. " Thor bowed when he let her go.

He clearly had something greater than earthling's beer. But there was something else that made Y/N stop in her tracks.

"Can...can I ask you something?" Y/N bit inside of her cheek to calm herself and actually wait till God's answer, to ask. 

"What can I help you with?" Large smile was plastered on his face, even though his eyes were a little hazy from the alcohol. 

"Did you, by any chance, sent me these?" Y/N asked as she pointed on her dress, too eager to know the answer.

Thor furrowed his eyebrows,  as if he was thinking hard.

"I'm not aware of that." 

Y/N's face dropped a bit. She thanked him and took a stroll around the room. Trying to talk to people. 

It was harder than she thought. But of course she tried, holding her head high and smiling ever so slightly,  so that nobody would tell she felt insecure. 

"Ahh, Y/N. Come here. I would like to introduce you to someone." Tony spotted her in the crowd, even though she thought it was impossible. 

He had one of his expensive suits with crimson handkerchief in flap pocket. With load of jovial manners he held his whiskey glass in one hand, motioned at Y/N to come closer with the other.

Y/N nodded slightly, wanting to please the organizer. Till now she thought  that everything went well. 

And as Y/N walked towards Tony and his company, someone bumped into her rather roughly. 

And that was the moment, everything started to fall apart.

Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she stumbled, trying to find anything to catch herself onto. Only to overthrow waitresses tray as her arm turned into liquid. She accidentally ignited alcohol beneath her feet, falling to the ground. Y/N closed her eyes firmly. Feeling the heat of embarrassment running up her cheeks.

But when she opens them again, she's nowhere near the spot she was just a few seconds ago.

Instead she was face to face with wide chest covered in blue leather. Y/N knew exactly who's chest it was. But at the same time she was scared even to look up. 

"Trying to lit up the party?" Loki chuckled as he looked down at Y/N. 

Once again he saw the same person in her. And he thought  it was somehow cute. 

Y/N started trembling, embarrassment taking over once again. 

"That...really was not my intention." Even her voice was trembling.

She made one step back, to get away from that intoxicating scent of his, only to be pulled back by his hand. Her eyes widened.

Loki's hand was cold, casually resting on Y/N's bare back.

"Careful. If you don't want to repeat the whole scene." The God of mischief whispered with his deep voice into her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Breath hitched in her throat, pushing Loki away. Y/N shot him a deadly glare.

"Now, if you excuse me, I really need some air." Y/N said almost growling at him, before she disappeared once again, as she didn't wanted nothing more than to run away.

As Y/N teleported on the balcony, the furthest point she could go beside missions, bit cold air fan over her figure. Warming herself by softly stroking her arms, she walked towards railing.

She looked at the buzzing city in front of her.

All those lights and sounds made Y/N feel lonely. She wanted to be like others. Not minding what everyone thought about her.

"Can I join you?" Loki's voice cut through the seemingly pleasant atmosphere. 

Y/N turned to him, annoyance glistening in her eyes.

"What do you think?" She spat at him.

But that remark just made Loki chuckle as he walked over to her.

"What do you want?" Y/N said, clearly not happy that Loki wasn't understanding her even a bit. Or maybe he did it on purpose, to ruin this evening even more.

"It's such a beautiful night, isn't it?" Loki leaned his body to the railing, observing Y/N's every move. Even the tiniest one.

He was fascinated by her brusque tongue and how she could change her behaviour in seconds.

"What do you want, Loki?" Y/N asked again, folding her arms on chest, feeling pissed with each second. 

She just wanted to be alone. But now she was forced to stand in front of the person, who made her heart beat like crazy.

Y/N knew very well, it was a bad idea to like the God of mischief, but she couldn't help herself. She fell for his every inch the moment she first saw him. Even though he didn't spare her glance back then. There was something that pulled her to him. Like a magnet. Or maybe more like a drug.

Shivers ran through her whole body, overshadowing the feeling of coldness.  Which Loki immediately noticed, taking off his cloak, putting it around her shoulders.

"I just wanted to admire dress I sent you." Loki's eyes sparkled softly, turning Y/N speechless. 

She didn't dare to dream that it could've been him, sending her those. And actually, she forgot about that little mission of hers, after she got so badly embarrassed. 

Y/N wanted to ask him so many questions in that moment, wanting to turn down his smug smile. But first of all, she poked Loki's chest, to be sure he's real and not just her imagination. Even though that cloak seemed pretty much real to her, warming her body.

When the tip of her finger actually touched the leather surface, she looked at him shocked. As if she just realized everything was true. 

Loki was calmly standing there, looking at her with clear interest. Y/N was different from others, in his eyes. 

"I suppose you like them." Loki chuckled, catching Y/N's hand, before she could take it back.

"W...why?" Y/N whispered, looking down at her hand in his.

It didn't make sense.

Nothing did anymore.

"You needed confidence and I wanted to see you in dress. It's a win win." 

Y/N narrowed her eyebrows in disbelief.  It seemed as one crappy reason to her.

"Look. I know that you still feel more useless than the benefit. "He squeezed her hand, sending yet another wave of shivers through her body. 

"But I saw, what you can do. On the missions, you're practically different person. So radiantly confident." Loki took a step forward, slowly closing the distance between them.

Y/N wanted to run away yet again. But this time from completely different reason. This was something that she didn't count between her options.

She was just looking at that Mischievous God, thinking that it must be one of his pranks.

"Do you want to know, what I saw when you were standing on the top of the stairs?" Loki made another step forward, causing their bodies to touch on all those right places.

Y/N's breath hitched in her throat, all her thoughts and rational reasons vanishing. Like if she was drunk or drugged. 

And she really was. Intoxicated by his scent, voice, heat of his body and even those damn eyes. But Y/N nodded almost desperately, eager to hear his voice again.

"Confident dazzling Goddess." 

Moans were bubbling in Y/N's throat, as Loki hit all those right strings, making her weak in the knees. But Loki leaned even closer and whispered to her ear.

"I saw Deity." 

Embarrassment and fear was no longer in Y/N's body system. As if Loki casted a spell over her. She turned her head a little, just to be able to look at him.

"You liked that?" Y/N asked, biting her lower lip.

"Damn, I love it." He licked his lips before attacking hers.

--

"What do you think?" Thor asked happily, pointing at the balcony.

"That we have two problems now." Sighed Steve, massaging bridge of his nose.

"It was your idea" Gasped Bucky and Peter in disbelief. 

"Peter?" Everyone turned to the youngest.

"What?"

[kingsofeverything]

I don't follow a single maths blog haha, why do you ask? I'm not even particularly enthusiastic about it, I just enjoy it and it's something that's sort of reputable. But I really wouldn't want to teach, so you see my conundrum. I have thought about programming, but I don't know anything about it and so I've no idea whatsoever whether or not I'd like it. What did you end up doing, if you don't mind me asking?

i follow a few because the post cool graphs lol

i don’t mind talking about it at all. i taught for a little while and then quit and now i’m a stay at home mom. boring. but not really, because i home school my kids. the school system here (where i taught) is absolute shit, so that’s what i do now.

“I'm not even particularly enthusiastic about it, I just enjoy it and it's something that's sort of reputable.” could be a quote from me when i was picking my major. i picked math because 1) it was easy for me, and 2) i knew i wouldn’t have to write many papers. not even kidding. 

my sister and i have had many, many discussions about our degrees and the meandering ways we took to get them. we both wish we’d gone straight through a bachelor’s degree in something that we found interesting (her: history, me: sociology), then right into a masters program for something like library science. something that would lead to a steady, good job, with good benefits (in the states where health insurance sucks balls), a good retirement plan, etc. that would allow us to travel and do other things in our down time. instead, we both spent way too much time switching majors, going to school and getting disillusioned with it and dropping out, going back to school, etc. before finally graduating.