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#if you tell your children that some people deserve to be hurt
imagine-to-be-a-pike · 17 hours
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Leon knew he had failed. He did not fail as a knight. He failed as a friend. He failed as someone who swore to protect him.
He took a step towards the tent, a mixture of blood and sweat running down his forehead, reminding him of what he had just participated in. What Arthur had just participated in
Arthur. Barely 14 years old. Such an innocent and lovely soul. and now he stood in the middle of the tent and shook. The slightly too big armor (despite trying to adjust it) hung on his barely teenage body. The blood-covered armor. Not just the armor. That bright face, golden hair suddenly faded, flooded with a monstrous red.
He looked at him. He knew that look, he remembered it perfectly. Betrayal. He first saw it in the boy's eyes when his father first ordered the guards to take him to the dungeons. Leon swore then that he would never be the cause of that hurt, betrayed face.
He didn't even dodge the piece of armor thrown at him. If it hurt, he deserved it. How ironic the blond's words from a few hours ago sounded now
,,I can't wait to become a real knight like you"
A real knight should protect people. Not mercilessly murder them. Not what Leon just did. not what Arthur was just forced to see. "What a monster he must think I am now" Leon thought. He had seen Arthur's looks during the execution he was forced to watch and they were nothing compared to the horrified looks of those blue eyes as the horror unfolded around him. He saw the mouth open in a silent scream of terror, maybe both, as he swung his sword at the child.
It's funny how a person you thought was perfect can, in a matter of minutes, turn into the worst monster in your eyes.
He wanted to explain himself, apologize, say anything. He was ready to scream, cry, throw things. But the blond just stood there with shaking hands, rubbing his arms as if he was trying to scratch the blood away along with the skin.
,,why didn't you ever tell me?"
Good question.He knew what happened during raids. It wasn't his first time. But he was afraid. He knew how Arthur idealized him. He knew how much boy needed someone to be a role model, someone to give him some approval. But Leon was also a coward. He didn't want to lose someone he practically saw as a little brother. He didn't want to lose his little sun that shone even after the worst training.
He remembered his panic when Arthur, encouraged, told him he was going on another raid. Panic at the truth. Panic that this sweet soul would face a horror that a child shouldn't be exposed to. His prince was overjoyed but the road to the camp was a slow countdown for Leon.
,,These were innocent people... children... women... and all of you....just"
Arthur's eyes were wet, tears mixing with the dirt on his cheeks.
,, Arthur .."
,,leave me"
There was something new in these blue eyes. Not just hurt and betrayal. Coldness. Coldness that Leon saw in one person. The person Arthur should never be reminded of. And he left. And if only he knew that was the last time he would address his prince by his name.
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lectorel · 1 year
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Rabbit Heart
(Inspired by the Mage in a Wolf Pack original fic series on AO3, you'll need to read a few of those first.)
Jaime . . . floats. One step out and to the left of himself, ice-numbed to sensation. Wake. Work. Obey. Cast, in the short moments when he was given back a sliver of his strength. Bow. Obey. Eat. Sleep. Wake. Lay Limp. Wash. Work.
Hums, sometimes, tuneless little things that taste like memories. ‘digger, digger, singer of songs…’
This doesn't change, when he is passed to other masters. The lines change, but the pattern stays the same. Wake. Cast. Work. Strip. Obey. Sleep. Wake. Eat. Jaime exists entirely unmoored from time and place, in the smothering fog of over-extension and apathy. 
He rarely notices when one master becomes another. Mostly when the new had a taste for flesh the old had not, or the reverse. His current masters are kind, in the careless way hunters are prone to. A person is given orders. An object is used. There is power in breaking a person to heel, but all ruining a tool proves is carelessness. 
If he is sick, if he’s injured, he’s likelier to make mistakes or mishandle a spell. So he is fed, and given clothes to cover his body, and treated if he is injured. He is a useful thing, to be maintained and then forgotten when unneeded. 
Like all tools, there are some uses he is better suited to than others. Jaime is not allowed to heal - no hunter would be careless enough to let a mage, even a collared one, work magics on their bodies. But neither is he required to bind and chain unwilling captives. Instead, he is set to warding chicken coops, warming water for the wash, repairing damaged walls and decaying fences. Simple things that require neither force nor strength of will.
They don't travel - or at least never enough of them at one time that he is left without supervision or required to accompany them. Jaime has never bothered tracking the passage of time, but he thinks he's been in this place for a while. He mostly remembers now how to get from one building to another, can plan a path to accomplish his duties without too much doubling back.
It is an easy life, and Jaime knows that easy never lasts. Sooner or later, he will be put to the work he was first collared for. There is no point in waking.
Jaime floats, and his body obeys.
***
Runa had noticed the problem by mid-summer, but back then, she’d believed her pack would fix it. It’s nearly winter now, and her faith has run out.
The adults of the pack refuse to see it, refuse to understand, because the mage had hurt uncle Dimitri. They were angry, and they wanted someone to blame. The mage was an easy target. But all the pretending in the world couldn’t change the truth. And the truth was, he’d never acted out of malice.
Malice would require the mage to remember people existed when they left his line of sight. The mage had to be ordered to bathe himself. and occasionally ended up frozen in place because he'd forgotten what he was ordered to do and the collar’s bindings forbade him from acting without permission. All he’d done was obey his Alpha, the same as Runa is supposed to obey Lada.
He isn’t capable of intending harm. There’s something fragile in him, like the lightning-struck tree Runa found two summers ago. From afar, it had seemed healthy, as if it had escaped the storm with only a few branches lost. But when she’d gotten closer, she’d seen the long seam where sap had boiled and split the tree open from the inside. It had survived the first winter, but it’d never woken after the second.
The mage, too, is slowly dying, and Alpha had ordered everyone not to help him.
Runa had never disobeyed her parents or her alpha. Not really. Little rules sometimes, like going to bed on time or taking turns, but never the big rules. The ones that even the adults had to follow. And the rules about the mage were big rules - Alpha had explained that to all the puppies in very careful words.
But Runa had already known the rules - if you can’t kill something cleanly, you don’t kill it at all. If someone isn’t pack, you don’t bring them into the den. If someone wants to leave, you have to let them. If a person’s hurt, you need to help them.
Alpha is the one who broke the rules first, her and all the other adults; she put the mage in a collar like it wasn’t the exact thing the pack had killed hunters for doing to uncle Dimitri. Alpha is wrong, and she keeps pretending she’s not, keeps saying that the mage is an exception.
It’s dangerous to have magic now, in the Heartstone pack. Alpha has made it that way. And Runa is the only one who knows it’s Toby, not the mage, who keeps the candles lit all night.
There are uses for collared mages. Alpha made that very clear. Runa isn’t going to let the pack collar a second one.
Alpha makes the mage sleep in the storage shed, with only a worn fur to keep out the cold. With the first storm of winter threatening, the pack will either need to move him inside soon, or let him freeze. The adults are still fighting about it, which makes now the only chance Runa has to get them all away.
The night is dark, only a single sliver of moon to light it, and the wind cuts through Runa’s sleeping shirt like a knife. Toby whines in his sleep, but doesn’t wake. The shed door isn’t locked properly - Runa jammed it a few days ago, when she oiled the door hinges to keep them from creaking. She slips inside, soft as a fieldmouse through grass, and shakes the mage awake. 
“We’re going now, sweetheart,” Runa says softly, pulling the mage to his feet with her free hand. “Can you hide us?”
The mage blinks, once, twice, eyes only half-focused on Runa and Toby’s sleeping form. Runa holds up the command token, thumb pressed to the center symbol, and pushes her will into it. Unlock. Not a full release - only the collar’s keybinding, locked away among Alpha’s things,  could do that - but enough for something like awareness to flood into the mage’s expression. 
“We’re leaving, all three of us,” Runa repeats, and asks a second time, “Can you hide us?”
“. . . You’ll be faster without me,” the mage says, after a long, long moment. “If you steal me, it will be. Bad.”
Runa tilts her head in acknowledgement. “Staying would be worse.”
 “If you do, when they catch you, they will kill you,” He looks at Runa for a single second, gaze darting to Toby’s sleeping form and then away before she can interpret the expression he wore. Runa hears an echo of familiar candace in those words, and wonders if he’s ever heard the rabbit song, before the Alpha chained him. 
“They might,” she acknowledges. Six months ago she couldn’t have imagined the possibility. Now, though, all her certainties about her family have been shattered. However - “But first, they must catch me.”
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jytan2018 · 1 year
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I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.
- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.
- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.
- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.
- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).
- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.
- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.
- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.
- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.
- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).
- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.
I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:
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[ID: A pink-haired Nimona grinning evilly while holding up a knife.]
Watch Nimona. This is not a request.
Edit: Added more thoughts!
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triptuckers · 1 month
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kissing it better - logan howlett
Request: nope Pairing:  logan howlett x reader Summary:  based on this post by @sarahsmi13s Warnings:  nothing but tooth rotting fluff ugh I love logan Word count:  1K A/N: this post… yes.. also logan deserves some soft love <3 enjoy!
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
slow, domestic mornings with logan are few and far in between. it’s why you cherish every one you get.
life in the mansion is hectic, to say the least. even if you would take away everyone’s mutant abilities, there’s still a couple of dozen kids with a lot of energy swarming the place.
but you wouldn’t have it any other way. you’d been one of those kids once. unsure of your place in the world, scared, not knowing who you could trust. 
like many young mutants, you caused chaos and pain when your mutation manifested. your own parents were afraid of you. and then the professor showed up at your house and told you about his school. 
you’ve spent many years here now, teaching the children while also being a member of the x-men. you finally have a place where you belong, where you feel safe and at home. where you have friends and family who care about you.
meeting logan was only the cherry on top.
from the moment you met him, you’d been curious about him. one day you were teaching your class as usual, the next moment there was a guy with anger issues and adamantium claws in your classroom. 
at first you were stunned, as were the students, but you introduced yourself and told him to take a seat once he explained the professor thought it was a good idea for him to know what life at the mansion would be like.
ever since, he’s been sitting in on a lot of your classes. you thought it was because he was interested in the topics, but later on he confided in you that your voice and presence soothe him. 
after that conversation, logan was around you often. to learn about the mansion, he said, but you knew better.
the more time you spent with him, it became obvious he came to you when he needed to calm down. he didn’t need you to talk to him, just needed to be near you.
sometimes you would talk. it was mostly you who did the talking, though. you told him about your childhood, how you met the professor, your time at the mansion as a kid, teasing scott about jean when you were a teenager. and then you told him about the missions you went on with your fellow x-men, the classes you taught the children, how they continued to surprise you every day.
and slowly, as logan started to trust you more, he told you about his life. what it was like years ago, what he went through. you wanted logan to open up to you on his own, but you couldn’t deny you were curious about him and his life. sometimes you couldn’t help it. 
you were cradling one of his hands, taking a closer look at his knuckles as you sat on the edge of your desk. the classroom was empty, the students long gone. but logan was still there
you feel logan’s gaze on you, but you continue to study his hand. turning his hand over in yours, examining it.
‘you really can just get them out whenever you want?’ you ask him.
‘yeah.’ says logan.
‘can I see them?’
logan briefly hesitates. no one’s ever asked him that. most people who have seen his claws up close didn’t live to tell the story. but you’re being so gentle with him, he does as you ask.
you drop your hands as he pulls his arm away slightly. then he slowly lets his claws come out. you watch as the skin between his knuckles splits as the adamantium blades slice through. 
you briefly look up to logan and notice how he clenches his jaw slightly. 
‘does it hurt?’ you ask him. ‘when they come out?’
logan looks down at you. at this fellow x-men, a teacher, a lover. no one has ever been this patient and gentle and loving with him.
‘every time.’ he says, looking at the way you’re holding his hand.
it had been a long time since logan had slept in his own room. what few belongings he had, he added to your room. but because the mansion life was a busy life, you rarely get to enjoy each other’s presence like this.
logan is still asleep. his breath tickles the back of your neck. one of his arms is lazily swung over your body, the other beneath your head. you love waking up like this, safe in his embrace.
you reach out and softly run your fingers over his knuckles. it’s remarkable how fast his skin heals. 
your touch wakes logan, who stirs behind you. now that he’s awake, you turn around in his arms so you can bury your face in his neck. logan pulls you closer, wanting to go back to sleep.
he feels how you take a hold of his hand and move it. then he feels something on his knuckles. he opens his eyes and sees you pressing soft kisses to the skin between his knuckles, right where the tips of his claws rest beneath his skin.
logan has never been the romantic type. but he swears he feels his heart burst with the amount of love he feels for you. you’ve kissed him before, obviously. but not like this, not on his knuckles.
‘what are you doing?’ he asks, voice still laced with sleep. 
you briefly look up at him before you move to get a hold of his other hand, bringing it up to your lips.
‘you said it hurts every time they come out.’ you explain. ‘I’m kissing it better.’
logan’s lips part in surprise, before smiling at you. 
‘you’re gonna do this every time they come out?’ he says.
you nod. ‘yes. you said it hurts every time. so I’ll kiss it better every time.’
‘you’ll be busy for the rest of your life, then.’
‘that’s okay. I don’t plan on going anywhere.’ 
logan leans in and presses a soft kiss against your lips. with his forehead against yours, he drifts off to sleep again. feeling the occasional kiss against his knuckles. 
A/N: thanks for reading! everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. please do not copy, translate, plagiarise or repost my work! some of these are requested by other people and I spend a lot of time and effort on my works <3 much love, marit
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anshelsgendercrisis · 11 months
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something that's fucked me up over the last three weeks is the constant barrage of non palestinian goyim saying "why should we have to condemn hamas???????? why do we have to focus on jews or israelis when palestinians are dying??????????" and i know ppl who have already decided i'm guilty by virtue of being a jew won't give a shit, but i'm hoping people who still have a bit of humanity left in them will.
i've gotten so many anons chiding me and demanding to know why they should give a shit about the people killed by hamas (not all of whom were jewish or even israeli), and the answer i keep wanting to give is that. honestly you don't fucking have to. quite honestly, i wouldn't have cared if no one talked about it. i would be hurt to see people didn't see the loss of (assumed to be jewish) life as a tragedy, but i would have much preferred silence to the utterly horrific things i have had to see over the past three weeks.
bc that's the thing. we as jews are so fucking jaded when it comes to gentile reactions to violence against us. we're used to you saying it doesn't matter or even that we deserved it. gentile apathy has so thoroughly broken us that we consider it a win when y'all don't actively celebrate instances of antisemitism. and you had the opportunity to disrupt that pattern, to either take a single moment to offer condolences for the loss of so many lives (not all of whom were jewish or even israeli) or just simply back off and give us space to grieve.
but instead, i witnessed people, who just over a month ago had been wishing their jewish followers a happy rosh hashanah, post or repost some of the most appalling displays of antisemitism i have seen since may of 2021. i have watched you post about the "zionist media" ("jews control the media"), tell jewish israelis to just use their dual citizenship to go back to their third beach house on long island ("all jews are rich"), that jews israelis are bloodthirsty monsters who get pleasure from killing children (modern day blood libel), that jews are the "new nazis" (holocaust inversion), that jews in the diaspora are responsible for the actions of the israeli government (dual loyalty), and that every single israeli should die (literally genocide???????????)
i witnessed people who call themselves antizionist gleefully become tools of political zionism, bolstering the claims that the diaspora is not safe for us and therefore we must support israel when the countries we currently live in turn on us like they have without fail for the last 2000 years. and when i point this out, instead of taking this to heart, people double down. they insist if i'm pointing this out it must mean i believe it.
you all had the opportunity to do nothing, to prioritize the safety and liberation of palestinians over your own hatred of jews, and yet you still chose antisemitism. and i will never forgive you for it.
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hargreeves-duncan · 1 month
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Hey, I read your last Five fics which I absolutely loved and I was wondering if I could request a (Five x Reader) or (Five x OC) in which Five betrays the MC with Lila in the subway and when they come back MC leaves him and meets someone else who she falls deeply in love with (probably married her new partner and even has children) and years later Five finds her and he tries to fix everything because he realized that whatever happened with Lila was not real love and then he witnesses MC with her new family and realizes that it could’ve been him if only he would’ve treasured her love and stayed loyal to her?
I just love angst with a happy ending for the person who was betrayed and a miserable life for the traitor.
a/n: i’m inclined to agree, bad people deserve to get what’s coming to them!! i know everyone really wanted a pt. 2 to the cheating!Five fic and that’s what this turned into so… hope you enjoy!❤️
summary: you’ve moved on, five’s still recovering from the life that could’ve been
warnings: cheating
word count: 2.2k
tags: @snixx2088
pt. 1
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Five checked the address in his notepad for the hundredth time since he’d left his apartment. He looked back up at the house with its neat entryway and wide, glorious front garden. There were cream roses spiralling around the white picket fences and he wondered if you were the one who’d painted them. You'd always had a knack for fixing things up and making them shine better than they had without you, himself included. Your entire house, no, home, was beautiful - but what else did he expect? It was yours, after all.
He took a deep breath, wringing out his hands that were already sweating profusely. He hadn’t felt nerves like these in years. It had been so long since you’d last seen him and your life looked so perfect and picturesque without him in it that he felt selfish for dirtying your lawn with his presence.
Things had been difficult during the split, you couldn’t even hold his eye or be alone in the same room as him after the events of Christmas Eve. But even after everything, you’d still been straight with him, and civil too, when you told him that you were going to stay somewhere else for a while. You'd needed some time before the two of you could be close again and, of course, he’d agreed. To tell the truth, at the time he hadn’t even minded. He had Lila then. Why was there any need for you to stay around?
But after a while, she had left too. For Lila, their seven years together really only had been a fling, a spur of the moment. She went back to her husband, her family. And Diego, being softer than you were, let her, no matter what she’d done or how badly she’d hurt him. The two of them had pushed forward and eventually they’d made it to the other side. They weren’t the same couple as they had been, but they were doing better, and for them that was enough.
After that, Five had grown bitter towards you and the way you’d reacted. Why couldn’t you see things the way Diego had? Why hadn’t you taken him back and reassured him that you would fix it all, like his brother had done for Lila? That was how things were supposed to go.
He was angry at Lila for a while too, for choosing her family over the future he wanted with her. He hadn't understood how their affair was formed by circumstance, not love. He knew better now.
Looking back, a small part of him actually respected you more for turning him away. It was strong of you to choose yourself for once and he was proud of how you’d pushed through, even when he had begged and pleaded for you to take him back. 
He wouldn’t do that today, he promised himself, as he marched on and up the steps of your front porch. He brushed his hair out of his face and then he reached up, knocking on the door. He heard the soft thump of feet on the hardwood floors draw closer.
The door opened and there you stood, smiling, “Hi!” You paused as you registered who it was that stood in front of you. Shocked, you said, “Oh! You are not the mail.”
Five laughed softly, shaking his head, “Uh… I am not, no.” He silently looked over you, taking in the ways you’d changed since he last saw you. Your hair was slightly longer than it used to be, but it looked good, suited you. As did the outfit you were wearing. He didn't dare to say that out loud though.
“I… Hi, Five. What can I do for you?” You asked, stepping out onto the porch and gently closing the door behind you. He’d missed your soft-spoken voice and hearing it made a dreamy smile form on his face.
“I wanted to check on you, see how you’ve been.” He gestured to your front door, “May I…?”
You hesitated for a moment but then you sighed, nodding and smiling weakly, “Yeah, of course. Come on in.” You say, opening the door again and leading him inside. You’re walking three strides ahead of him as you ask, “Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?”
“Uh, yeah. Coffee would be great, actually.” He says, blinking up at you in slight surprise as he steps into your home. He was expecting more resistance. The interior of your home is just as nice as the outside. It’s warm and so clearly full of the love that you’ve put into it. His eyes are drawn to the pictures on the shelf in the walkway.
There are a few of you with his siblings. He’s not surprised about that. In the wake of your divorce, it was you that they’d sided with and, even now, they were still treading lightly around Lila and him at family functions. What does surprise him are the two children that Klaus has his arms wrapped around in the family portrait at some celebration or other. They feature in several photos, dressed in pretty dresses and sporting toothy grins in almost every one.
Before he can overthink it, your voice is calling out to him, “Five?” You poke your head out of the kitchen door and he smiles resignedly. He stands up and follows you into the kitchen. He sits on one of the stools at the island.
The only sound comes from you, pouring out his coffee. You fetch yourself a water and then slide his mug towards him. He smiles gently, taking the warm beverage into his hands, “Thank you, love.”
Leaning on the counter, opposite him, your head snaps up to look at him as you laugh nervously. Catching his mistake, Five shakes his head, laughing a little himself, “Sorry. I guess it's still a force of habit.”
“It’s fine.” You say with a small smile, sipping from your own glass. The silence becomes comfortable. There was something familiar about this routine, enjoying the quiet company of one another and it settles any nerves left in Five.
Steadying his breath, his eyes search the kitchen for answers of what your life has looked like these last few years. More than a few times, he’d asked his siblings and they’d given little or sometimes even nothing to work with. He wished he still knew your ins and outs like he used to.
He finds his answers hanging up in a frame on the far wall. It’s a nice photo of you, your happiness shines out of it and watches over the room. There’s someone else in it too. Five doesn’t recognise him but by the placement of his hands, he knows what he must mean to you.
Five clears his throat, pointing to the photo with his mug, “Who’s the guy?”
You look up and feel your cheeks flame as you find the photo you had taken on your last vacation, “He’s my partner.” You say and your smile is shy as you talk about him. One mention of this guy and you’re already indescribably smile-y.
It makes Five’s stomach churn when you say, “We’ve been together for nearly five years now.”
“Oh, wow…” He says, eyebrows raising. He’s trying and failing miserably to mask his surprise and pain. It’s not as if he expected you to come running back into his arms with some crazy love confession or anything, but he didn’t think you’d have moved on either.
What hurts the most is how happy you look to be talking about your new partner, your eyes lit up with affection that used to be reserved for him, “That’s… that’s amazing, congratulations.”
You smile softly, wrapping your arms around yourself as you set your glass down, “Thank you.”
“And the kids in those photos in the hallway…?” Five says, glancing over his shoulder as if they’ll come barreling in at any second. He’s not sure he could face two girls with eyes just like yours staring back at him.
You nod, “They’re mine, yeah. They’re three. At pre-school right now, but, you know…” You answer, shrugging and smiling at the thought of your twin little girls.
After your time at The Commission, you��d been terrified of the mother you'd be. Some days it still felt like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to turn into a cruel, awful person. But, you hadn't so far and your partner was always there to soothe you when those thoughts started to creep up on you.
You were still learning that it was okay to be a mother and have had your own life before that as an assassin. Being a good killer didn’t stop you from being a good mother and you were more than capable of giving your girls the love they deserved. Everything you did was for the good of them and you were doing an amazing job at giving them a happy and completely normal life.
“Jesus, wow…” Five laughs to himself, running a hand over his face as he looks back at you. He’s speechless, hearing about the wonderful life that you’ve built yourself. He feels a deep-rooted guilt spring up in him. He never gave you that life but it was plain to see how much you craved it and how you were thriving in it.
He’d spent so long saying that maybe, one day, in between all of the chaos of your lives, you’d find time for a quiet life like this. He’d spent every waking moment pushing the future and its commitments as far away as he could, arguing that all he wanted was to focus on you whilst he had you in his arms. But he had never given you what you wanted and now you’d found it with someone else.
Swallowing down the ache in his chest, he pulled his mug closer to himself, seeking out the warmth of it on his palms to ground him, “You look really happy.”
“I am, I really am.” You say, smiling softly at him. You were happy that Five had come here today, that you could get some true closure on your time together, it felt like a lifetime ago now. Sunlight poured into the kitchen and your bracelet shimmered under its rays, a dazzling silver.
A strained smile makes its way onto Five’s face at the sight of it, yet another symbol of the fact that didn’t belong to him anymore. It hurt to admit it but silver suited you far better than gold ever did, and he’s sure that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but he wasn't ready to face the truth behind it yet.
You take another sip of water and there’s a peaceful silence that falls over the room that gives you both the chance to absorb everything that’s passed between you in the last two decades. You look over his features and tilt your head to the side, “What about you, though? How’re you doing?”
Five could answer with what he’s really thinking - that he’s sorry for putting your dreams on the back-burner and that he didn't treasure you the way should've the first time around. He wants to tell you that if you go with him right now and give it all up that he can be the one to provide for you instead and he wants to tell you that he would be so much better than your new partner ever could - but he won’t, he promised he wouldn't.
Instead, he smiles weakly, shrugging his shoulders as he sits up, “I’m doing okay.”
You’ve said it yourself, you’re happy as you are and, unlike him, you're not hung up on the 'what ifs' and the 'could've beens'. You don't need him anymore and he's not selfish enough to risk ruining your happiness just to make some pathetic promise that you both know he won't keep.
“Yeah? That’s good. I’m glad.” You smile and the genuinity in your voice is the real kicker. You’re such a good person that you still care enough to want to know that he’s alright after everything, when he's still weighing up whether he should ruin your relationship or not.
He can’t help but question if he ever deserved you in the first place.
There’s a knock at the door and the both of you jump slightly. You laugh, “That must be the mail.” You set your glass down, padding out of the room.
He chuckles to himself, nodding, “Looks like it.” He mutters, finishing the dregs of his coffee and places the mug down on the counter as he stands up. He has to get out before he ruins your life all over again with words that you don't want to hear.
Walking back into the room with two boxes on your hip, you watch as he picks up his coat, “Oh! Please, don’t feel rushed, you don’t have to leave yet. I don’t have to go get the girls for another few hours.”
Five shakes his head, “No, it's alright. I’ll get out of your hair.” He says, walking into the hallway, “Thank you, by the way, for the coffee.”
“Of course, you’re welcome.” You say, following behind him as he walks out of the door.
He hovers on the porch and you smile kindly at him, “Just... please, don’t be a stranger, Five.”
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to."
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gicosmo · 2 months
Text
When They Neglect You Pt.1
One Piece Men(Luffy, Shanks, Mihawk, Corazon)
Warnings: Neglect, A bit a toxicity on Mihawk’s part, Corazon being a stressed, Doflamingo(he deserves his own warning), Just overall angst for this first part :((
This is my first time writing for One Piece characters lol. I’m sorry if any of them are ooc😔Part 2
Luffy
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You knew Luffy would never intentionally ignore you. Let alone neglect the whole relationship. But that didn’t stop the pang in your chest when you realized you weren’t spending as much time with him.
Walking around on an island, the town was bustling with people. The crew finally had some air to breathe after continuous battles. Finally, you thought you had a chance to be close with your boyfriend again. Reaching for his hand to hold, he suddenly stops, snatching his hand away from yours.
You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt your feelings. It hurt. A lot.
“Looks like we’re fighting again.�� Luffy chuckles, cracking his knuckles with a sly smile. Zoro huffed, readying his sword by his side. Sanji sighed, “Do we ever catch a break?”
“Luffy—”
“Sorry! Not now!” Luffy replied ever so quickly before jumping straight into fighting. Even though it was a moment to fight, a hurt feeling still rose in your heart.
You felt like you were overreacting… Or maybe this was just the result of being constantly pushed aside, regardless if intentional or not?
Shanks
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Sadly, it wouldn’t be the first time Shanks had neglected the relationship. And it definitely won’t be the last.
But this incident ticked you off to the max. After sailing to an island, Shanks had conducted his usual business. After he was done, of course the crew had to celebrate(even when it wasn’t really necessary).
In the bar the crew cheered and laughed. The overall vibe was positive, nothing but smiles plastered on everyone’s faces. Well… Everyone except you. Throughout the night you had tried getting Shanks’ attention, but his attention was always elsewhere.
You were moping in the corner, your brow twitching in irritation. After a while, Beckman made his way over to you with a soft smile,
“Someone’s upset.” He chuckled.
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” You sighed, rubbing your temples. Beckman just shook his head with a smile, “When is it never.” He grabbed a chair, sitting next to you, “Go on. Tell me what he did this time.”
You laughed. Beckman always had to be the peacemaker, “It’s what he always does, Beck. Every time I want a bit of his attention, it’s always elsewhere.” You sighed as you looked up, the sight you saw sending you over the edge.
There Shanks was, chatting it up with someone else. Being a bit too friendly for your liking. Beckman followed your gaze, immediately mentally face palming. He was about to speak but you had already left the bar.
All Beckman could do was sigh and shake his head. Seems like he had to be the one to make peace. Again.
Mihawk
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Your relationship with Mihawk was nothing but bliss. Everybody around you would be shocked to hear of such a sweet relationship ever happening with such an apathetic man like him. But he loved you… Or so you thought?
When Zoro and Perona lived with you both for two years, your relationship did have its moments of distance. Mainly due to Mihawk helping with training for Zoro and you doing your duties that you usually did.
You both knew having two strangers, two strangers that were practically your guy’s children during those two years, would put some type of strain on the relationship. But you both silently agreed that you both always found a way to make things work.
When Zoro and Perona left, you couldn’t lie about the slight emptiness that filled the castle. The only upside was now you could be close with your lover again. Well, you thought that was supposed to be an upside, only it didn’t happen.
“I’m busy.” Mihawk spoke with little to no interest, not even sparing you a glance as he read the newspaper. You crossed your arms, glaring at him, “Mihawk, it’s been weeks since those two left and you still haven’t at least tried to put some effort into our relationship again?”
Mihawk sighed, a sigh you knew all too well,
“I honestly don’t understand what you’re getting upset about.”
“And I honestly don’t know who you’re talking to right now.” You snapped back rather quickly. Mihawk placed his newspaper down, standing up and staring you down, “You’ve never been this much of a pain before. We were and are quite fine.”
Your mouth fell open in shock. He thought the relationship was… Fine? You immediately scoffed, “Oh? So you think us being distant from one another is fine?”
“I liked it when you weren’t a nagging brat.”
“I’m nagging now? Seriously?”
All you could do was shake your head. Not bearing to hear whatever else he had to say, you immediately stormed off.
Little did Mihawk know, you got on a boat and left. You didn’t know where you were going, but anywhere was better than being with someone who clearly didn’t care for you anymore.
Corazon
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Corazon was also someone who wouldn’t intentionally neglect you. Your relationship was a secret from the Donquixote family, more specifically, Doflamingo.
Corazon and you took a liking to one another. You didn’t care that he was mute, well, you thought he was mute until he revealed who he really was to you one day. That faithful day solidified your relationship. He couldn’t have been any happier.
What he wasn’t happy about, however, was Doflamingo’s ever so obvious liking to you. Countless times he had to sit there and witness his brothers constant flirts and rather interesting remarks about you. The whole thing made his blood boil.
Everything changed when Law came into the picture. Corazon made it his mission to save him, and you, of course, tagged along on said mission. You really didn’t have a choice since Corazon wouldn’t dare leave you alone with his brother.
Going from hospital to hospital was stressful for everyone. Corazon witnessing how horrible society really was irked him day by day. He slowly began to lose hope, but didn’t show it much. But you knew better than that.
Day by day, he would pull away from you. In all honesty, you barely noticed it since you were so busy comforting Law. It was one day when Law was sleeping, you went to talk about your frustrations to Corazon only for his responses to be short. If you even got a response, that is.
Of course you were hurt, but you understood. This whole thing was stressful on everyone. You could keep your feelings to yourself or find other ways to let out your frustrations.
But you couldn’t.
Law thankfully had comfort from you. Corazon found comfort in occasionally smoking and sometimes maybe a drink or two. You? You had nothing.
You wanted nothing more but the love from your partner… But you felt selfish for wanting that when you all had more important things to worry about.
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leth-writes · 28 days
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yandere batfam x reader who's scared of them
BRUCE
If you don’t know he’s batman, he’s absolutely confused. He doesn’t really understand how you could be terrified of his civilian identity, who is notably soft and ditzy. It’s hard for you to explain how scary it is, looking at his smiling face in the middle of a gala and feeling this ice running down your spine, the deepest, basest part of you just screaming at you that there’s something wrong with him. It’s the way his emotions don’t reach his eyes, those cold, calculating eyes… It feels to you that he’s, at any given time, calculating how likely he is to get away with you murder.
That isn’t what he’s thinking. He’s thinking about how angry he is that everyone’s not treating you with the respect you deserve; he’s seen more consideration given to a coatrack! He’s contemplating yelling at your parent(s) to get them to realize how uncomfortable you are. That paternal sense just jumps right out and he’s wishing violence on anyone who would dare to so much as breathe at you wrong. You can see the promise of violence brewing on his face, you just mistake who it’s targeted at. He promises he would never hurt you.
Being frightened of batman is a lot more understandable, he is quite creepy. He tends to blend in with the shadows, and having a vigilante running around beating people senseless can be pretty terrifying. If he catches you being robbed, for example, Dick’s going to have to pull him off of whoever hurt you before he sends them into a coma. Seeing all that blood flying is definitely pretty scary.
However, Batman also serves as a protector for the city, especially children, and he does view you as a child, no matter your age. You’re his child, and he’d never want to scare you, so he exaggerates his movements and puts a bit of noise in his step so he’s less likely to scare you
He also gets Damian to approach you; while Damian may not be the typical child, he’s more than capable of acting young and vulnerable and that brings down your guard, allowing Bruce to ingratiate himself with you. Damian’s just excited to be close to you, he doesn’t even care you’re babying him and giving him stickers. He wears them with pride and shows every one to Alfred and his various animals.
DICK
Everyone is so confused as to how you could find Dick, smiley, jokey Dick, so scary. He’s so kind and gentle, perfect with children… maybe it’s the way you can see right through that facade into the intelligent seething rage boiling away within him. People often forget that Dick, as a young child, was more than willing to commit murder. He’s grown a lot since then, but sometimes that rage peaks through, terrifying you. You can also tell the bruises aren’t from sex or gymnastics like he says when the paparazzi ask, but from fights. You haven’t heard anything about the people he got into a fight in, which leads you to believe they never got up again. You’re wrong, but you can definitely feel the violence pulsing just underneath his skin. Every vigilante has it, you’re just able to sense it.
As Nightwing, he’s used to people asking him for selfies or yelling at him to do a backflip. He isn’t used to people trembling, terrified, in a corner as he approaches. You seem to view him as a dangerous vigilante, an extension of the Bat, first and foremost. Dick has to work hard to get you to trust him; he purposefully messes up some of his fights just so you think he isn’t as dangerous as he is, and he doesn’t let you in on the fact that the escrima have electricity. It puts you at ease if you think he would have a hard time taking you down. He relies on that goofy aspect of himself, pulling it up more than he normally would, almost tapping into that little circus performer who he buried deep down so many years ago.
JASON
Yeah, he gets it. His reputation, while useful, does preceed him. He’s heard the rumours; that he’s a zombie, a vampire, a ghoul, some creature back from the dead to kickstart some apocalyptic event. He usually finds it laughable, but seeing how terrifying you are does hit him hard.
He’s done so much to bury who he used to be, but for you, he taps into that side of him. He reads Jane Austen in public, volunteers at homeless shelters that he normally only donates to, anything to give himself a softer image. He even lets his hair keep its natural curls, letting them grow out slightly, to give him a softer silhouette. He also starts dressing more like Bruce; soft sweaters tucked into his pants, accentuating the pretty streak of white in his hair.
He’s also more than aware of how scary his scars can be, and tries his best to distract you away from them; for a little while, you rarely see him fully face-on, he turns his head just slightly so you can’t see them as clearly.
The Red Hood is terrifying. He’s aware, he knows, he’s dealing with it for you. He stops with the killing almost entirely and spends more time just patrolling your neighborhood, trying to get you used to the positives his presence is associated with. He lets Clark finally publish those positive stories about him saving a kitten or something, all to rehabilitate his image. He doesn’t care that his reputation is taking a hit, he only cares about you not being terrified of him.
TIM
???
Tim isn’t used to people being scared of him. Plenty of people are intimidated by his ruthless businessman act, but he never uses that around you. He tends to play up that scrawny, dorky nerd side of him; most view him like a little vulnerable puppy, not a threat!
You can probably sense that analytical presence behind his eyes. Tim, while technically being the most hands-off, is also the one who does the most meddling behind the scenes. He’s working to get rid of those shitty friends, blackmailing them away from you, and making sure to surround you with people he trusts, particularly Cass, Kon, and Steph. They talk him up, but more importantly, he knows they’ll keep you safe if he can’t.
You can probably tell your new friends are hiding something, and you sense that Tim is at the center. You’re not entirely wrong. Like Jason, he dresses in soft, cozy clothing and spends hours practicing his soft, gentle smiles, all in the hopes of you thinking him too weak and exhausted to be a threat.
He’s had criminals dislike him as Red Robin, but most civilians either appreciate him or ignore him. Most opinions are actually quite lukewarm, as while he does play a role in policing crime, he works more in the background solving cases and using his computer and photography skills. He makes sure to be seen being soft to children and animals more, maybe even volunteers in suit at an animal shelter, all in the hopes you’ll see that caring heart shining through.
CASS
Cass is so soft in public no one could ever be scared of that side of her unless they’ve already been kidnapped, in which case she slowly wears them down by having her family talk her up and by being the one to bring in gifts and food, creating a strong association between her and those good feelings of stress relief. Works like a charm, especially because you learn to read her; then, you learn to read the softness in her smile and her posture, showing that kind heart.
in stark contrast, plenty of people are scared of Black Bat, including civilians. Her normal silent presence and lack of facial expression can come across quite creepy. There’s no way around that, so she only introduces you to her secret identity after you’ve been kidnapped.
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pearl-tarotist · 10 months
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☽˚。How will your future spouse know you're their special person? ☽˚。⋆.
As the second PAC of my collection "cliche moments with your fs", this tarot reading tries to describe the moment where your FS knows you are the person they want to spend their life with.
P1-P2-P3
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01.
For some of you, your fs will realize you are their special person when they start thinking of you as family. It will happen gradually and naturally, little by little you have conquered a piece of their brain and heart.
A main scenario that appears on the cards is that they will realise you are their person when they keep picturing you as the mother of their children. They suddenly thought of it and they were like "God, Y/N is just…so perfect and good", with adoration in their eyes. They believe you are naturally nurturing and warm. From that day on, they will want to deepen their relationship with you and take care of you even more. It's a serious decision that they make, a realisation and a promise at the same time. It's possible that one day they have forgotten their jacket and you will go and get them for them or that they have hurt themselves with a wall or something and you kiss their hand and tell them it's okay. The fact that you keep taking care of them makes their heart beat faster and makes their chest warm. And at the same it makes them get protective and selfish about you because "no one deserves the attention of someone as pure and good as you". They truly see you as a wish fulfilment. Another scenario I got was a woman laughing at a beach and their partner being absolute smitten by said woman.
Channelled messages:
Russian, english, french, love at first sight, soft kisses, hand holding, red clothes, office work, 20s, office chairs, black and brown hair, Lana del Rey, fairy tales and authors (books).
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02.
This scenario starts with a fs that's apathetic, hard working, cold (lacking warm) and that's not interested in love. Do not get me wrong because they are not bad people, it's just that they are a candle that has been extinguished for a long time and now warmness does not come easily to them. With the king of swords, they are lost in their work and their logical sense, they are a soul focused on getting their business at the right position. They see love as something distant and that they cannot have, even when they just have to extent their hand and take that "cup full of love" that's presented to them. I think they do not know how to take those steps as no one has taught them. Kind of making themselves a victim there. But, once you are in their life, you could be a really funny person and a positive presence that brightens their day. One specific scenario is that they could not have laughed in a long time and when they are speaking to you, you make them laugh... and they suddenly realize that they just smile around you and that their checks had been deprived of laugh until you arrived. It's as if their world was black and white until you came along. I'm sure that they did not even realize their romantic feelings for you at the time but they knew that they wanted you in their life, for sure. They will become quite interested in your privat life and always wait to see you. I am sensing an office love in this pile with a grumpy co-worker but it's a general reading so just take this if resonates.
Channelled messages:
Meeting in bright rooms, a place with windows, Excel and numbers, Rome and Italy, vintage clothing, Crimson Peak (movie), The hunger games (book), Azul by Rubén Dario, Studio Ghibli, Romanticism.
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03.
The first card that you got was the lovers so they realize you are their person, probably, the first time they see you, and as typical as it sounds, you both are struck by cupid's arrows. (This is prominent for those who have blond hair) They will like your hair and smile, they will randomly think that your hands are soft and a bit cold. They will think about your smile for days on and if you were wearing thigh clothing...well, let's say you have a nice chest. I think you both were introduced by an acquaintance, an old (in thier 40s-50s) man or woman in the street or at your work. However, it's not that easy because your future spouse is extremely nervous around you, it's that new crush energy where they are smitten by you. I think they have trust issues and they had their heart broken in the past and they keep trying to surpass all of those paralizing feeling while meeting and getting to know you better without giving you any signal that they are extremely interested. They will put effort to beat their own fears for a chance to meet you, I think their friends will support them while they get to know you.
Channelled messages:
Romeo and Juliet, yellow, the moon, orchids, Ireland, the police, 10 things I hate about you, the sea, Greece, bulls and butterflies.
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igotanidea · 3 months
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The great birthday mess up : Damian Wayne x Reader
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Request: Yes! Reader planning a surprise party for Dami and him thining she's going to break up with him so he does it first.
Thank you anon! ;) made some changes to the requests hope you'll like it either way :)
***
„I don’t understand…” the words coming out of Damian’s mouth was the perfect example that hearing and getting were two completely different things.
“What’s there to not understand Y/N?. I’m breaking up with you. Sounds pretty simple even for your little brain.” He shrugged and turned to the window in their shared apartment so she wouldn’t see the strain on his face and clenched fists.
“But-“
“Please don’t go all whiny on me now. Just take my decision with dignity.
“I don’t understand—” she said again, as if that was the only sentence she could say in shock coursing in every cell in her body.
“Of course you don’t.” the tone he was giving her was ruthless, unlike the rapid beat of his heart calling her name with all the emotional power it could gather.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” as pathetic as it was, she almost downgraded herself to begging for an explanation with that sentence
“I’m just breaking up with you! Now will you leave me alone? I really do not want to see your face anymore.”
Well that was true, cause seeing her sad face was making his resolve crumble.
And It hurt. It hurt to tell her all those mean things.
Especially because Damian did not even wantto act like an asshole.
He did love her like a fool, he used to laugh at. If anything, he could just fall at her feet (as long as no one  saw) and beg to forgive him.
But he couldn’t.
He couldn’t because she was the one who stopped loving him first.
***
Three weeks ago, “command center” at Wayne Manor.
“Ok, people, listen up! We’re on a mission of-“
“Is she for real?” Tim whispered turning to Dick who was holding back a laugh. If the boys knew that Y/N would take planning Damian’s 24th birthday in such a serious manner, almost putting on a war paint, one of them would bring a fancy camera to memorize it.
Instead it was only Jason taking photo after photo of the girl-in-command in her makeshift uniform and with indicator in hand.
“Get it off my face Todd!” she cried out trying to shove him off, but failing at dealing with the brick Jason was.
“Not a chance. You look ridiculous. And all that for the demon’s spawn? My god! He doesn’t deserve you.”
“Careful or I’ll think you’re telling me a compliment.”
“Compliment? No, no. It’s merely an observation of your poor choice in men. Both your boyfriend and those gathered here…”
“HEY!” Dick reacted almost immediately. No way he was going to let anyone, even his adoptive brother shit-talk him “I beg your pardon! I believe Y/N has an exquisite taste in men!”
“Just because you are here?” Jason mocked, giving Dick a smirk.
“Oh-my-god….” Y/N rolled her eyes throwing hands in the air “Could you please stop that…? I got a whole presentation about ideas for the party and –”
“A presentation?” While Dick and Jason did not give the girl any attention, at the mention of possible slides Tim became awfully animated. “What kind of slides? How many?”
“Oh-my-god…” She muttered again, this time covering face with hands gathering herself “God give me patience for those man-children.” One deep inhale and exhale on her part and she was ready to proceed. “SHUT UP!!” she yelled at the top of her lungs “SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!”
None of the men has ever seen her like that. Reddened on the face with fury in eyes and clenched fists. Clearly just a thought of Damian was making her spin out of control.
“Y/N--?”
“I’m about to tell you how it’s going to go from now on.” She hissed with an unobjectionable tone. “First, you’re going to sit on your pretty asses.” her gaze travelled to Dick knowing the attention in this particular moment will make him listen “Second, you’re going to stop throwing veiled insults.”
“But-“ Jason tried to chime in and object.
“I don’t fucking care if your inner Chandler Bing is coming to voice, you shut it or I will.”
“I’m not scared of you Y/N. You are just a –”
In a blink of an eye she was next to him, with one finger on his neck.
“You got about 100 vascular plexus in your body and so it happens I know how to put pressure on all of them.” She hissed before pulling back and taking on an innocent look “now, will you keep quiet, Jason?”
“I’m still not scared…” he muttered leaning on the doorframe with a frown and pout of a kicked puppy.
“Thank you very much. As for the plan, thirdly, you’ll stop asking me about my PowerPoint thing and actually watch it.”
“I’ve been dying to watch it the whole time!”
“ Shut up Tim!” came from three pair of mouths.
“Hey! Why am I being the only one yelled at by everyone? It’s harassment! Not fair!”
Y/N exhaled deeply, making a mental note to herself to never get those boys in men bodies in one room ever again and started explaining the details of her surprise party. Clearly, even despite knowing Damian’s family for a while she did not expect it would be this hard to get boys to cooperate.
However, per aspera ad astra, she managed to present her idea of a gift, the attractions and all the surprise party.
Obliging the boys under the  pain of sudden and unexpected death, or at least mutilation, to keep their mouths shut.  And since she was the girlfriend of a teenage assassin – this time no one dared to say a word.
***
Obviously the surprise party included working on it undercover. Therefore Y/N was spending more time with Jason, Dick and Tim to the detriment of her hours with Damian. Sneaking around. Dismissing or getting off lightly of answering his questions.
And he got suspicious, it was Damian Wayne Al-Ghul after all.
The young boy, spend hours and days fighting his natural urge to follow her when she was walking out the apartment with no explanation. Tie her to the chair, light the lamp in her face and force the information out of her.
But she was his girlfriend, not a villain.
So, getting too much into his head he came out to one plausible explanation – she was slowly letting him down. Not cutting the tie right away, because that was not who she was, but discouraging him.
“You’re going out again?” he asked, capably hiding the disappointment seeing her putting on shoes and jacket.  Quickly he put the bouquet of flowers he bought for her behind his back, almost crushing the innocent buds, while simultaneously wondering if calling off reservation at her fav restaurant for the fourth time this month would get him kicked out of the VIP list. “I thought we could have a night out and—“
“Sorry, babe.” She smiled apologetically pecking his lips, grabbing the bag and already one foot out the door. “I gotta go do this thing that I told you about!”
“What thing---”
“Don’t wait for me, I’ll be back late. See you around buddy!”
Buddy?!
Did she just--? Holy fucking shit. Now Damian was sure, she stopped loving him.
And since he couldn’t watch her walk out his life like that, it was him, who was going to walk out of hers.
***
She run.
She run as fast as she could, hoping that if by some miracle she got into Flash’s speed the last fifteen minutes conversation with Damian would just turn out to be a dream. Or maybe she’ll find herself back in time, making sure it never happened in the first place.
What did she ever do to him to be treated like that?
Working her ass off to prepare a party? Using all her abilities to get people to help? Miraculously finding Damian’s friends from the past and even getting Jon to attend?
Fuck this shit! Fuck the life!
And out of all day’s in year he choose his own birthday to break up with her!
Fucking piece of shit, demon’s spawn, undeserving of a single second of the last 6 years she gave him.
Jason was fucking right as tragic as it sounded.
She burst into the Wayne Manor, where the boys were hanging the last decorations and immediately started ripping the garlands off and throwing tableware off the table.
“Y/N!!” Dick jumped off the ladder and rushed her direction, but it was Jason who reached her first. Almost tackling her to the floor, fighting against the rage of nails, teeth and screams coming out of her mouth.
“Stop it!”
“LET FUCKING GO OFF ME! THIS PARTY AIN;T HAPPENING UNLESS IT’S OVER MY DEAD BODY!”
“Better be careful with those words, cause in this family you get more than one chance at life.” Jason chuckled
“LET FUCKING GO!” she was struggling against his iron grip while Dick and Tim kneeled next to them
“No.” Jason responded calmly. “No, I’m not letting go off you.”
“None of us do, Y/N.” Tim added, moving a little bit closer, careful to not get a shoe in his face or something like that.
“What happened?” Dick asked calmly “come on, it can’t be that bad…”
“He broke up with me…” she sobbed. Not angry or furious anymore, but fully immersing in sadness. “Damian broke up with me…”
“HE WHAT?!” Dick yelled almost ready to start ripping off the decorations himself, successfully held back by Tim slapping him in the back of his head.
“She just told you. Can’t you see how shaken she is. And your making her say it again just for the sake of it? Get yourself together, Dick.”
“Sorry…”
“I don’t know what happened! I tried to talk and—”
“Talking to Damian about feelings, huh! Great idea Y/N.”
“GRAYSON!” Tim yelled slapping him again.
 “Sorry…”
“I hate to break it to you guys, but it seems like the man of the day has just arrived.” Tim moved to the window where he saw the reflection of the car lights.
“WHAT!?”
“Don’t yell at me! Bruce brought him! It was your plan Y/N!!”
“Oh so one time Bruce could be late he’s actually on time?!”
“Again-stop yelling at me!”
“He cannot see me here! Not like this! Not crying cause he’s going to think that I –“
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMIAN!
“—care….”
The ending of the sentence was not supposed to escape her mouth, but not caring about her intentions it did. Maybe it was the shock of Bruce entering Wayne Manor with his youngest son, almost convinced the surprise party was already prepared and they could celebrate.
Instead the two were met with four people, caught like deer in the headlights, crying y/n, Jason on the floor holding her for comfort, enraged Dick and a little scared Tim without a plan.
As far away from their usual selves as possible.
“Are we too early or—” Bruce started, but before he could finish the sentence, the nearby ladder started to totter, hooking over the poorly hanged b-day banner and –
“NO!!” Dick yelled and rushed towards it, but tripping over Jason’s leg, fighting desperately to gain back balance and stepping on Y/N’s hand in the process. She yelled and it scared Tim who took a step back, crashing into Dick. Seeing all that Jason rushed to his feet trying to catch the material that was already falling down, dangerously close to the table and the candlestick. In the commotion no one noticed Alfred the cat, who obliviously entered the room, only to almost be flattened.
As the poor animal rushed to Y/N’s side, making her reach arms to give cat some resemblance of shelter, Dick finally managed to grab the banner.
“I got it! YES! Once more I am the one to save the day and--- AH!” he slipped on the floor cause clearly Alfred the cat left a remnants of his fear there, sliding all the way up to the table.
“NO!” Y/N yelled trying to save any of the dish that was already flying to her face.
“NO!” Jason cried out trying to snatch the decoration, getting tangled in it.
“NO!” Tim shrieked as the candled set the tablecloth on fire, that quickly spread to the leg of his trousers. And as the stimuli activated already downloaded plan in his brain, he reached for the extinguisher, profusely spraying everything (and everyone) with white powder.
Disaster.
Y/N, Dick, Jason and Tim were now all on the floor. Dirty, injured and/or humiliated, turned into giant, living, walking snowmen all on Bruce and Damian’s eyes.
“Not again….” Bruce whined.
“Happy birthday Damian!”
“SHUT UP GRAYSON!” the rest of three organizers yelled getting off the floor feeling worse than ever.
“What is all this?” Damian asked with a slight frown. “Or rather… what was all of this.”
“This is your—” Dick started
“AHHHHH!”
“Y/N, we know you are frustrated but please try to calm down—”
“This was supposed to be your stupid birthday party you idiot!” she yelled stumping towards Damian “Hear me?” he poke a finger into his chest. “Your. Stupid. Birthday. Party.”
“My- my what?” Damian stuttered grabbing her wrist only now realizing what day it was. Honestly after the morning break up with Y/N he couldn’t care less about the clock or calendar.
“Your—”
“Wait, wait. Hold back. Is this why you were acting so suspicious?”
“sus-suspicious? Is that what you thought?” her eyes grew wide once more and the steam to hit him blew off instantly
“You were just planning and preparing a party?” Damian asked realizing how much of an idiot he was.
“Yes”!
“So you didn’t stop loving me?” the hint of hope showed up in his eyes
“So you did not stop loving me?” Y/N repeated.
“How could I ever—”
She never gave him a chance to finish that sentence pressing her lips to his, not caring who was watching. And if anyone dared to tease, Damian’s katana would be used for something. And the knowledge of locations of nerve plexuses in the human body.
“Um….” Tim muttered feeling a little awkward in the situation. “Should we--?”
“Mhm. We should.” Dick agreed and noiselessly, like silently as befits a vigilante they fled the room.
***
Meanwhile, Damian and Y/n were sitting on the window sill amongst the mess of a b-day party.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way I planned—” she sighed.
“You kidding? It was the best thing ever.”
“Because you got the gift in clearing the misunderstanding between us?” she smiled and interlaced their fingers.
“no! because of watching my brothers making fools out of themselves.”
“Damian!” she patted his head.
“OUCH! Ok, fine! Fine! It was because I got you back!”
“This was forced, such confession doesn’t count!” she feigned offence.
“Well technically, we never really broke up, so I couldn’t get you back.”
“Well, technically-“ she tried to find a smart way of the situation, but he cut her off.
“Well, non-technically, you got cake in your hair. And on your face And in your lips. And I haven’t even tried that treat. So how about we stop talking so I could get a chance at it?”
He liked the cake.
A lot.
@keidylovestacos @nocturnal-onlooker - I'm taking the liberty of tagging you guys :)
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all-purpose-dish-soap · 5 months
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28 / 1.7k / soap soulmate au, part 5
...
Soap stares at his name where it's inked across your skin. You should be his enemy. He's sitting across from you, your interrogator in this dimly lit weapons closet. You refuse to look at him. But his gaze bores into you anyway, intense on your eyes, your lips, the cuts and bruises on your face. He wants you. But he can only have you once you've given him the information Captain Price needs.
"Tell me where Alejandro is," he says. "That's all you need to do."
A muscle in your jaw twitches when he mentions Graves' name, but you bite your tongue. You won't let him shake your resolve like he did in Las Almas. You should've killed him on sight.
"What Graves is doing to Alejandro--you know it's wrong." Soap’s gaze is steady. You're so close. He wants you so badly it hurts. "He's not a good man.”
"You have no idea what kind of man he is," you say.
"I know exactly the kind of man he is," he growls. "I saw what he did to the people in Las Almas. He called them dirty cops and had them executed when they said they didn't know anything. Innocent people. In front of their families. Their children." Soap's hands curl into fists on the table between you. "He's not the kind of man who deserves your loyalty."
Your cuffs clink as your arms flex against the chair. "You wouldn't understand."
"You're right. I wouldn't." Soap's knuckles pop, his voice low and dark. All his life he's waited for you. Now Graves--fucking Graves, who betrayed Soap and his team and tried to murder them all--is somehow the one keeping you from him. "I don't understand what you see in that bastard."
You say nothing, eyes trained on the far wall.
Soap's shoulders tighten. "You're just a tool to him."
"I’m a soldier. I choose to follow orders. So do you.”
"You're following his orders. You think that makes you a soldier, being a weapon? No. Makes you a damn dog."
You say nothing.
Soap grips the table until it creaks. "You think he cares about you.”
"It doesn't matter if he does or not."
"It does so bloody matter. You’re no’ some pawn he can just throw away." God damn you. He wants to grab you with both hands and shake you. To hell with this interrogation--he's got half a mind to lock you down somewhere padded until you get it through your skull that you're not worthless. He scowls at you. "You're better than this. You have to be."
Cold irritation seeps through your mask. "Am I?" Soulmate or not, he doesn’t know you.
At the look on your face, Soap's scowl deepens. He's going to kill that bastard, and he's going to do it slowly. "What about Graves is more important to you than the innocent lives he took? Does that mean nothing to you?”
"Orders are orders."
Soap's voice drops to a dangerous pitch. "Look me in the eye and say that.”
You don’t. You tell yourself it’s because he has no power over you. He can’t tell you what to do.
Soap crosses his arms. "'S what I thought. You're bluffing."
"I'm not."
"Bullshit. Graves is nothing but Shepherd's lapdog. Gettin’ paid to commit goddamn war crimes.”
"Shut your mouth," you snap. "You have no idea what happened--"
You stumble on the next syllable and go silent, realizing suddenly that you're looking him in the eye.
Johnny's a man of impulse, and it takes all the self-control he has to keep himself in place the moment you lock eyes. The pull he feels to you right now is overwhelming. You're in reach. He leans forward. Those brilliant blue eyes of his see all the way down into your soul. They’re just the same as you remember--eerily vivid, pupils blown, with his jaw set hard.
"What happened to what, darlin'?"
You shift, skin prickling. You want to cross your arms over yourself and clap your hand over the soulmark on your neck. "You don't know what happened in Al Mazrah."
"You were ambushed."
You nod, remembering that night of the mission. You've seen your squadmates die before. It's a hazard of the job, part of being a mercenary. But that night--seeing so many Shadows gunned down before they could so much as draw their weapons--it still haunts you.
"Shepard didn't know. It wasn't like we-- it was supposed to be a simple transport mission."
"It was a black bag op."
"That's what Shadows do. We take missions people don't like. Someone has to step in where you military dogs won't."
"Where was Shepherd when it went tits up, hm?" Soap's lip curls. "No air support on an illegal op. He left you to be killed. And now he needs someone to blame. It's not gonna be him taking that bullet. It's gonna be you."
"Captain Graves can handle it."
Soap lets out a rough sigh. Your insistence on Graves is rubbing him raw. You could have died on that op two months ago. And then what? He'd have never met you, only found your name later in stone on some memorial somewhere. The thought makes his chest go cold and his blood run hot. It could still happen. If he can't tear you away from this bloody mercenary work, you'll never be his. Christ. He can't let that happen. He won't. You're not going back to the Shadow Company. He'll tear Graves into pieces before he lets that happen.
He fixates on your soulmark again. Why can't he focus on getting the information Price needs? All he can think about right now is the scab on your lip, the way your pupils dilate when you look at him. Your body wants his even as you're spitting venom. The fire in you matches his own, and he wants more.
"Graves isn't here," Soap tells you. "And I'm not takin’ chances. You’re not going back to Shepherd, and you’re sure as hell not going back to Graves. You're mine."
You pull on your cuffs, hating the way the possessive note in his voice makes your stomach flip. "You don't get to decide that."
"Neither do you.”
"Isn't a matter of choice. It's a matter of what you’re gonnae do about it."
You swallow and watch his gaze track down your throat. He's close. When did he lean in? Why aren't you pulling back?
No, you tell yourself, you’re not scared. You’re in control. You lean a millimeter closer. "You can't keep me here."
His eyes brighten, gaze so intense it warms your skin. "Careful, darlin'. You don't want to throw down that gauntlet."
"And you expect me to tell you whatever you want to know? Fuck my career, fuck my squadmates?"
"If you weren't so damn dense, I'd--" He mutters another string of curses in that thick Scottish accent, standing from his chair and pacing the tight room. "You don't understand what I'm offerin’. You don't need them. You have me an' mine."
He circles around to your side of the interrogation table and kneels next to you, his expression an open plea for you to listen. You stare down at him with your heart suddenly in your throat. You can't backpedal. You can't look away.
He searches your face. Even roughed up, even pissing him off, you're beautiful. Damn it, he's going to do something stupid if he doesn't control himself.
He keeps his voice low and even. "You were expendable to them. You're expendable to Graves. You're no' expendable to me." He reaches up to you, and you go still. His hand is hot on your skin. His grip is surely strong enough to break bone. But only his thumb drags along your lip. His eyes follow the motion. "Your loyalty should be for people who care about you. I'm on your side, ya wee shite. Just tell me how to get to Alejandro and I'll get you out of here. I'll make sure you're safe. That's all I need to know."
You stare down at him. Your heart beats in your ears, and his pulse hammers with yours. You can feel it through his thumb against the sensitive skin on your lower lip.
Johnny wants you so badly you almost give in. He thinks he's telling the truth--that he'll protect you. But he doesn't know any better. You're not who he wants you to be. You're not soft. You're not good. Why does he act like he can see something redeemable in you?
Being his soulmate doesn't guarantee you a goddamn thing. Promises don't afford you any more protection than you've already given yourself. You know that very well. People aren't reliable. Soulmarks don’t fix everything. They’re just ink.
Whatever he sees when he looks up at you makes something cold and sharp settle in his chest. His throat constricts. He's pushing, he knows he is, and it's the wrong move with you. He's never been this desperate for anyone.
"Darlin'. Don't do that. Don't shut me out." His voice wavers just like his resolve. He'd protect you to his last. You refuse to see that, and he can't make you.
You look away, pulling away from his hand. "I don't trust you."
Johnny's stomach drops, and he digs his fingers into the metal chair to stop himself from digging them into you.
You want him. He can see it in the set of your shoulders, how tight you hold yourself when he's close to you. You want him despite yourself, and you still refuse. It doesn't matter how rational a decision it should be to accept his help. There's something else happening in your head that's keeping your walls up, and he's starting to realize it's not just Graves. It can't be.
He watches you for a long moment. He doesn't want you to hurt, but he's not stupid enough to believe you'll soften up and come around with time. You're a soldier.
Finally, Soap stands. If you don’t tell him what he needs to know, you’ll remain a hostage, and won’t be able to have you. He won’t accept that.
"Fine," he says, pushing his way out the door. "We’ll do this the hard way."
...
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / [part 5] / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12
more Soap / masterlist tag
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jewishvitya · 11 months
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[This post was originally written in response to someone tagging me and claiming that a free Palestine would mean all Israeli Jews will be kicked out and where will I go, and how they can't understand why I'm so against Israel being our ethnostate. OP blocked me, so I'm reposting with a few edits, because I already wrote this and I might as well.]
Look. I understand your mentality. We're traumatized by a history of violence against us. We were shown that so many in the world want us dead, and so many others won't stop them. I get it. But I refuse to let myself silently become the face of similar oppression for other people.
Israel benefits from antisemitism and maintains myths that got Jewish people killed in the past, like double loyalty. It weaponizes it for propaganda reasons. It's supported by antisemitic Christian zionist organizations with terrifying motivations. It started out with violence not only against Palestinians but against Jews too. Israel isn't motivated by our safety, it abuses that idea. It manipulates and weaponizes our trauma to make us feel justified in causing so much suffering to innocent people.
You're right that I'll have nowhere to go if I'm kicked out of here. This is where I was born. My parents come from other countries that I won't feel safe in. But all of this is hypothetical. The ethnic cleansing and genocide of Palestinians is not hypothetical, it's REALITY. It's happening RIGHT NOW. And I don't understand how, as a Jewish person who knows what this kind of suffering and loss of life means, you seem unable to prioritize that. I tell you I'm witnessing a genocide happening right next to me and you keep telling me "but what if they hurt you instead."
The assumption that Palestinians will pull some sort of reverse ethnic cleansing against us is racist. This assumption is the reason Israel feels comfortable calling the carpet bombing of a civilian population "self defense." Killing them based on a this is not self defense, it's a racially motivated crime against humanity.
And I'm calling it an assumption because I'm not willing to pull from the Hamas charter that they've since replaced. Hamas isn't Palestinians. The only reason they became this powerful is Israeli funding, and Israeli violence giving Hamas free PR as the only ones who will stand up to the state that will keep them trapped and dying.
We control every aspect of their lives. Israel created a place that breeds radicalization. No group of people, living under the conditions forced on Palestinians, would be peaceful. They would fight back. Because peaceful attempts to have the human rights that Israel denies them got nothing. We stomped on every single one. We blocked all other routes and left them with only violence, which Israeli politicians have been using as an excuse for over 15 years to make a show of force with military campaigns whenever they wanted a boost in popularity. We created living conditions with such low life expectancy that half of the population is children because so few adults survive. They don't deserve this. No one deserves this.
Palestine was a land with people living in it. One plot of land can create multiple groups of people, especially when we've been separated for 2000 years. Our connection to this land does not cancel out theirs. Removing them to create our own country could never be right. It's not an argument saying that our connection to Israel gives us the right to move here to live ALONGSIDE Palestinians. That's not what we wanted. We wanted a country that enforces Jewish majority and legally prioritizes Jews. You're justifying this when I repeatedly state that the only way for it to exist is through ethnic cleansing and genocide. There's no way to make this concept into a reality without killing, displacing, and oppressing whoever's left in various different ways, from apartheid to other kinds of discrimination.
I'm not against safety for us. I want to be safe. I want my children to grow in a safe world where we can be openly and joyfully Jewish. I'm not willing to pay for that with the lives and freedoms of other people.
So I will be loud about this: Palestinians deserve to be free in every part of their homeland, even if it's our ancestral homeland too.
If safety for us means we're the ones committing the genocide, maybe we should rethink what safety looks like.
I'm terrified for the lives of millions of people in Gaza. Right now, all I can think about is this, and it baffles me to see people so willing to transfer the horrors of our history to other people.
I had a lovely conversation in DMs in response to the first post, about how zionism encourages us to isolate rather than build bridges in the places where we live all over the world. We can't ignore the way antisemitism saturates culture, but we should also remember the places where Jewish communities thrived for centuries, the places where our neighbors protected us. We're hated, and we're loved. Each form of oppression is unique, so no other group experiences what Jewish people do exactly, but we're not alone. We have a long and rich history of solidarity with other marginalized communities and involvement in liberation movements. We're actively working to make the world safer, and we have people fighting with us. I'm just participating in this fight where I am. The struggle for liberation is a human struggle. You can't use the trauma of antisemitism to silence me about other kinds of bigotry.
Never again. To ANYONE.
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mr-ribbit · 9 months
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this isn't meant to soften or reduce the objective transmisogyny + additional hate action going into this, but since the people running these harassment campaigns are acting like they're literal baby children who need their hands held to understand anything, maybe this needs to be said:
what you're doing and how you treat trans women on this website is fucking MEAN. if you want to sit there and honestly convince yourself that you're *not* a transmisogynist or a transphobe or a misogynist or any other type of bigot - like if you genuinely believe that and are confused why people are calling you these things - then maybe we need to start from little primary colored building blocks and tell you that you're being fucking mean and rude and actively harmful to real people who read the things you say. im not sure why we need to start off with "trans women have feelings" - just kidding I know exactly why we need to - but maybe you don't.
no matter who you're talking to, do you honestly think accusing someone you do not know of being a pedophile, en masse, behind their back /and/ in a public forum, is a reasonable way to treat someone for making a tumblr post about video games or political opinions? even if you strongly disagree with the post, you think someone deserves to be treated like that by people they don't know? take a second please and sincerely imagine how that would feel. wouldn't it be scary? wouldn't you wonder who the people were who thought this about you - if they're people you know - if they're just a few people that will continue saying mean things to you forever or if there are thousands of people who choose to dedicate their time and energy specifically to making you feel bad? if you accidentally write a post in the wrong tone or unknowingly interact with a shitty person, that there are uncountable people that will keep track of that just to hurt you later? that's fucking horrifying
and to zone in on what's specifically happening here: do you think randomly accusing people of being pedophiles or sexual abusers has no effect on them? like a lot of you tend to excuse yourself in these discussions by saying "I didn't actually see the context of what they were saying" or "I didn't see that they apologized already" or "I didn't actually understand the post was a joke" or whatever other kneejerk response to make sure *you* aren't seen as a bad person. do you realize that makes you look even meaner? you didn't bother to actually follow up on a thought you had about someone before sending them hateful messages or making public accusations about them? those actions are harmful whether or not you like the victim at the end of the day.
believe it or not some people you send this shit to are survivors of abuse themselves, or have their own historical personal reasons to be weighing in on a touchy subject. when you baselessly decide it's ok to call someone an abuser of any type, that person is probably *also* disgusted by whatever horrible shit you're accusing them of. as someone that hates these things as much as you do in order to attack someone for them: what do you think it's like to have complete strangers think that about you? how many eggshells would you walk on if random people thought so little of you that they were ok doing this?
it's mean. it's heinous, cruel bullying, and if you genuinely think you are not doing it from a place of transmisogyny or hatefuk bias over the victims' identity, then you need to understand that that's not an excuse. "i didn't even know she was trans" ok, it was still mean to call her a pedophile with 200 of your closest friends in public. "im trans so it can't be transphobia" ok it was still mean to assume someone was endorsing abuse when they were talking about being accused of abuse. "i didn't see the post where she said it was a joke" ok it was still mean to actively harass someone without bothering to look into the full context.
at the end of the day, yes, obviously I still think you're all transmisogynist assholes who are clearly willing to gang up on a woman who has nothing to do with your problems simply because she dared to speak on them. i think you're bigoted and unwilling to examine that if it means giving up your vitriol against someone who doesn't like your favorite video game or whatever excuse of the week. but like even if you were just doing it for love of the hate game, it's fucking weird heinous shit and i hope you're happy having that be a central part of your life
to be clear: im not transfemme and if I'm overstepping or talking over anyone please let me know. im not speaking for anyone's actual experiences except my own, which is the experience of being angry at how much literal bullying and harassment I see excused on this so-called progressive queer blogging website
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monimccoythings · 19 days
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Headcanons for Logan Howlett/ Wolverine (X-Men 97')
Wanted to do some X-Men 97' because this Logan deserves as much love as any other. One thing I'm glad is that he has been put more aside giving the others a chance to shine. I like they all get their moments as a team.
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Will endlessly flirt with you, he can be quite blunt at it. He is also very fond of petnames for you, 'Sweetcheeks', 'Babygirl', 'Princess'...
His ideal date is hanging out at the pub playing pool. But he will let you take him wherever you desire, he tries to act all macho and though but will do anything to make your happy.
Very protective. Won't let you go on any mission unless he is on it as well. The others (and by extension, you) have learned to let him get his way, there was one time you returned slightly hurt and he went berserk.
He is a possessive man, always with a hand on your waist or an arm wrapped around your shoulders... whatever thing that shows everyone you are already taken.
As with any other Logan, it's very easy to make him jealous. That hairy feral man will throw himself at anyone who looks at you funny. He has started so many bar fights because of you.
May seem rude and careless, but he is always following you around like a lost puppy or keeping an eye on you. He wants to paint himself as the big bad wolf when he's just a soppy wet dog with very sad eyes.
Many people will just ask 'what do they see in him'. Hell, he doesn't know either. Doesn't mean he's willing to let you go so easily.
He loves to slap your butt. You'll be doing your own thing and out of a sudden *SMACK*. He has zero shame about it.
Doesn't like to share his things, but damn if you don't look ravishing wearing one of his shirts.
Logan is extremely fond of cuddling with you in bed in the morning, before the rest of the team is up, though he would never admit it out loud. He just puts his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to his chest while his nose nuzzles your neck, taking in your scent. He won't allow you to leave until there's the signature annoyed knock from Scott, telling you to get up from bed.
Will never tell, but the more time you spend together, the more he imagines settling down with you, in a cabin close enough to the mansion in case he is needed, but far enough for some well deserved privacy; and raising a couple of children that hopefully take after you. And maybe, just maybe. This time will work.
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a-sip-of-milo · 1 year
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Need a reason to live?
Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.
⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️
Relationships
Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)
Your friends
Your family
Those who look up to you
To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while
Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)
There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going
To eventually be a mentor to someone
To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone
To fall in love
Your partner
To meet your online friends/mutuals
To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it
To see someone close to you through their final days
To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about
Your FP (personality disorder specific)
Group photos with your (found) family and friends
To help your friends do the same
The friends you've yet to meet
A promise you made to someone special
Acts of kindness
To be there when someone needs you
To see someone smile because of you
To make a stranger's day a little brighter
To hand out compliments to those who need it
To make the world a little bit better before you go
To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated
To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.
To help someone you love to quit an addiction
To do charitable deeds
Affection
Hugs from someone you trust
Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet
Cuddles when it's cold/lonely
To laugh until your stomach hurts
Forehead touches
To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing
Doting on people when they're feeling down
To make the people around you laugh
Interests
That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for
Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations
To share creations that aren't appreciated enough
To save up for something that would make life more bearable
To finally complete a collection
Projects would be left unfinished
To travel
To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time
Projects you've yet to come up with
To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold
To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced
Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours
Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))
To stick it to your abusers
To prove your younger self wrong
To prove the people around you wrong
To prove your younger self right
To prove the people around you right
To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you
As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you
To outlive your enemies
To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)
To show off your success to the people who doubted you
To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win
Milestones
You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go
To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own
To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to
To graduate from school
To see your wounds from self-harm heal
To experience old age
To get married
To recover from your eating disorder
To experience independence
To start/complete your transition
To go on your first date
To get your first job
To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve
To rescue a pet and give them a home
To purchase your first car
To rent/purchase your first house/apartment
To have your first child
To lose your virginity
To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation
To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.
Miscellaneous
To finally get diagnosed with something important
So if nothing else, you can still say you survived
You have a bucket list you'd like to complete
To live because you want to, not because others want you to
Comfort drinks with someone you love
You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday
Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.
To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.
All the different foods you've yet to try
To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it
To watch the seasons change
To celebrate the holidays
For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good
To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now
To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger
If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.
If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞
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askdiscordwhooves · 9 months
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This update was drawn by me, @jitterbugjive
I want to address one thing that I KNOW some people are going to complain about because they've already complained about if it would happen, and that’s The Doctor and Derpy getting together in the end. I understand the concerns. This is in no way meant to say ‘your abusers will eventually change for the better if you just say the right things to them’. This isn’t that kind of story. These are special circumstances that DO NOT EXIST in real life where the abuser was under MAGICAL mind control. That’s not who he actually is and when he’s himself he’s not remotely an abuser. He is safe from having a relapse, the curse is gone and over with because the core Discord was killed while the fragment left over in their universe has been reformed.
 Real abusers are not under any kind of puppetry or mind control when they do what they do, and no not even getting drunk counts as this because when someone is an abusive drunk they’re still choosing to get drunk when they are well aware of what they do when under the influence. If The Doctor did any of this abuse on his own terms, I wouldn’t have let them get back together. I’m an abuse survivor, I know better than that. When you try to compare completely fantasy scenarios that can’t happen in real life to.. Well, real life, you’re kind of reaching at straws at that point. Besides, this relationship wasn’t automatically better just because he returned to normal. Both of them suffered damage and trauma and both needed to navigate around it to be able to trust one another again. If there’s any kind of comparison to make, it’d be more like a loved one suffering a psychotic episode and doing horrible things they’d never do in their right mind. And some people are able to understand and forgive, while others are not. The pain of having a psychotic episode and saying and doing things that hurt people is really hard to overcome, it’s hard to trust yourself and it can be hard to make amends. But a psychotic episode does not dictate who a person is. It just doesn’t. And that’s the closest thing to reality this story is. I tried to handle this as best I could, because in my line of work recovery is the most important thing and I understand that someone coming out of a bad episode needs support and compassion (Unless they’re a terrible person in general) and there have been extreme cases where perfectly good people end up going as far as murder- even murdering their own children, but their loved ones are able to reason that they were sick and they are going to suffer great pain upon realizing what they’d done, and they are going to seek help. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to forgive someone who did terrible things in a psychotic state, and that’s within your right, but it doesn’t mean people who can forgive are any less valid. Listen, if a husband can be capable of not blaming his wife for killing their kids in a psychotic state (a very real event that happened rather recently, simply google “wife psychosis news killed children husband forgives” and you’ll find it), it's perfectly reasonable that someone can forgive someone who was under magical mind control.
If you are in a physically abusive relationship, you need to get out of it. The likelihood of this person changing for the better is extremely low, and you can’t cling to the idea of the rare few people who manage to work through these kind of things. Those are very special circumstances and in my opinion if there’s a relapse into violence after making genuine efforts to change, that should be the end of it once and for all. It shouldn’t be happening to begin with, it should not be tolerated. You matter, you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Never let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise. Please take care of yourselves, and DO NOT use this story as a basis for how to manage your own relationships, no matter how much you might think you see yourselves in it. This is fiction, and the scenarios in this story do not happen in real life. If you can’t discern reality from fiction, that is all on you, not me.
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