#ill probably get to that eventually if anyone's curious?? idk

[k1rameki]

17 hours this took. 17 DAMNED HOURS OF MY LIFE but its so worth it tbh

[chipchopclipclop]

love ur baldurs gate 3 oc so much. idk anything about the game but i genuinely likes him. i wish hes a real character bc i would buy the game for him

thank you anon i know this message is weeks old but ily and also im going to use this ask as an excuse to dump information about him now (swagdor lore (swaglore)) for anyone who cares

general stuff;

hes 49 years old as of game time

necromancy wizard, learned scholar, heavy interest in the boundaries between life and death and undeath, researching different types of resurrection unrelated to god worship (just not a big fan of asking for favours yknow)

stoic even keeled personality, reacts neutrally or stone faced to most things (this does not mean hes uncaring, hes got a curious nature). he used to be very showy and loud when he was younger, he finds that now very embarrassing

used to be a leader of an adventuring band in his 20s, fell apart when his group were defeated in battle leaving him lone survivor, wasnt a necromancer back then

has a distinct lack of self regard, half of him believes he'll be more of use untethered to the chain of mortality (undead in some fashion, or just thinking his corpse more functionally useful) the other half is just still struggling with survivors guilt (lol)

wanders around looking for old crypts and tombs to help his arcane pursuits, do-good's alot accidentally while he does, though most people get scared of him when he reveals the necromancy magic so hes got a mixed reputation (has some sort of misnomer like The Specter of so-and-so that wyll probably recognizes and laughs about)

will go along with just about anything if it amuses him, and has a weird sense of humour. hard to catch off guard or fluster, he yes-and's people alot to see how far they'll go with something or out bluff them (sometimes this causes them to try and beat the shit out of him)

truthful about his feelings when asked, but rarely volunteers his thoughts on things of his own accord, this gives him a weirdly mysterious image at first to most people

treats his raised corpses with care befitting living beings outside combat, and used to even raise some for company even if they were functionally just puppets.

he likes skeletons more than zombies (smell…)

his fake in game quest line is called 'The Wandering Necromancer' and involves inquiring about his old adventuring days of times past and learning why he's so into skeletons. He eventually reveals his past and you can bring up his groups old misadventures (oh my god you were the backstreet boys???) and he is very embarrassed by it. He reveals his group was felled by a lich, and he never found their bodies so hes always been curious on a way to speak with them again somehow.

plot continues BLAH BLAH eventually you find out that lich is still around and swagdor's old friends are now in its undead service so you go to kill it <3 but on the way he considers if he should take the lich's place so he can have his old companions around again (even if they're in his undead service) and try to give them some semblance of new twisted life again. You either help him with the preparations (yay phylacterys) or go bro you need to Move On. Man. and instead choose to release their souls when the lich is killed.

swagdor is stronger as a lich but also becomes even more detached from concepts of mortality (his sense of danger is basically nill now regarding others... its okay if u die ill bring u back somehow :) <- unnerving smile) and also all his dead friends are talking to him in his ear so he's constantly got a sense of being away from everything.

unliched swagdor moves on properly and begins The Healing Process (better late than never king) and seems more present in current ongoings, finding a place he can really set his feet. He's also less obsessed with death but sees his necromancy instead as a means to help and speak with wayward souls of the dead.

useless trivia corner: his names swagdor bc i based him off an old div2 oc i made when i was playing that game with aqua, where i used one of the randomly generated names they gave me and put the word swag into it (lol) i now am using his div2 swagdor's adventures as a semi basis for his new bg3 versions background thats why his younger versions outfit is based off that one captain armour set i never took off in that game

[mokutone]

Your tags on this post made me think that if there's any childhood pics of Yamato, they'd be absolutely cursed. Most of them probably progress and experiment contexts... and then for some reason there's one where, idk, it's just a tiny Yamato holds a kunai in his hand and the first (and only) time Kakashi stumbles upon it when he goes through the ROOT files he has a sudden moment of recognition and connection and then makes sure all those files will never ever be opened by anyone again.

oh this captured my imagination a little bit. hoo hoo. here, have something i don't usually do, write:

“Hey, Tenzō. Look at this.”

Yamato glanced up from his lunch to see Kakashi hauling a dense looking box of papers and folders onto the already-crowded Hokage desk.

“Taking on additional responsibility, I see,” Yamato said mildly, leaning back against the window behind him to get a better angle of the boxes sides, see if there’s a label. “How bold of you, Hokage-Sama.”

“There’s nothing which aids procrastination better than additional, unrelated work,” Kakashi said, dispensing his ill-gotten wisdom with two smiling, inky-black eyes. Yamato smiled back crookedly, and put his lunch to the side, finally rising to join Kakashi in whatever this new distraction was.

The box had dense chipboard sides and top, and hints of discoloration from unhindered mildew around the corners, and by the lip of the lid. There was a label on the lid’s front, but it was rusted so thoroughly that the paper had been eaten and stained so thorughly that it was unreadable. When he touched the sides, it was colder than the room they were in.

“Sai found it,” Kakashi said, as Yamato lifted the lid.

Ah. This was from Root, then. The dismantling of Danzō’s organization demanded a lot of cleanup, a lot of compiling and collection of Danzō’s libraries and resources and re-allocation of them into Konoha’s information, library, and data collections. If Kakashi was bringing this one straight here, rather than letting the experts notate, collect, label, and distribute this information, it must have been something he wanted privilege over—something too sensitive to immediately be shifted into Konoha’s resources.

Taking a guess, Yamato slid his hand among the side of the papers, feeling for the slick, cardstock texture of a photograph among the typewritten papers.

“Well, would you look at that,” Yamato said, as he felt Kakashi’s keen gaze slip from him to the image in his hand. It was of a sallow, gaunt creature that had never seen the sun, with long brown hair, wetted and slicked by preservative biofluids so that it was nearly black, legs that must have been trembling at the time of the photo which stuck out like twigs from beneath a thin, rough-textured cotton medical gown. The eyes that stared out at him though, were familiar, curious.

“It seems like they’ve finally declassified my baby photos,” Yamato said, and he tried to keep his voice light and humorous, but he tripped over a lump in his throat.

Yamato could feel Kakashi’s eyes leave the photo, and return to him, and so he turned, and pressed the photo into Kakashi’s hands before stepping back to his seat on the window, and lifting up his lunch again.

“We could burn them,” Kakashi suggested.

“That sounds like a bad idea,” Yamato replied through a wry smile. “Thanks for the offer though, always good to know you’re willing to destroy state secrets for a friend.”

“If being the hokage means I can’t even destroy my personal guard’s formerly classified medical documents anymore, then I don’t even know why I left Jōnin,” Kakashi replied, though he started picking through the box again.

Yamato resumed eating, finding himself colder and hungrier than he had been even minutes ago.

“What do you want done with it, Tenzō?” Kakashi eventually asked.

“I don’t particularly care. It can enter Konoha’s forbidden documents division, I suppose. There’s probably important details about how I was created in there, they might be of use for Konoha down the line, I suppose. Perhaps the next time, the experiments can be done consensually, and with less casualties, and perhaps without the more dehumanizing elements of all that.”

“Grim,” Kakashi commented.

“Pragmatic,” Yamato countered. He was fairly sure that there would be a next time—even if Orochimaru somehow miraculously died, even if he was somehow stopped, there would be someone else. There would be, once again, a demand for an otherwise extinct Kekei-genkai.

“I know how easy that section is to break into. I don’t know. Do you really want it in there? Even Sakura and Naruto could probably get in, if they tried, and you know how bad they are at stealth missions.”

“And whose fault is that, Hokage-sama?”

Kakashi gave him a sour look, probably about his continued use of the honorific. Yamato knew he was getting to Kakashi a little bit. “Yours. Don’t you still train new Anbu recruits? They’re not up to par.”

Yamato bowed deeply without leaving his seat, so that his nose brushed his knees, holding his meal aside with one hand. “My most sincere apologies, Hokage-Sama, I w—”

“Piss off,” Kakashi snapped. “You know you’re pretty much the only person in this village who still calls me that?”

Yamato sat back up, very pleased with himself.

Kakashi sighed, and looked back down at the box, and Yamato watched as he did, one of his hands leaving the white, voluminous robes to pick through a couple files at random, and then shuffle them back in.

“You were very young,” Kakashi said softly, looking at another document, which seemed (by a paperclip at the top) to have another photo attached.

“Most children are young,” Yamato noted, after another bite. “You probably were too, I imagine.”

“I suppose I was.”

“You’ll likely find mostly medical files and Kinoto and Danzō’s notes on my progress. I don’t think there’s much else to be recorded in there.”

“You don’t want to see any of that,” Kakashi guessed.

“I know what it will say, I lived it. As for the stuff that I don’t know, I’m happy not knowing.”

Kakashi tapped the edge of the box. “Does me looking at these bother you?” He asked.

Yamato looked out the window, where the afternoon sun was lowering but hot and bright and golden. Did it bother him? He didn’t think so.

“I understand why it’s interesting—but I’m not in that box. Whatever we would find in that box isn’t me. You know? Whatever you want to do with it, I don’t really care.”

Kakashi nodded, and put the paper in his hands back into the box, then placed the lid back where it had been.

“I’m going to put these somewhere very safe, for a while. I don’t think these should be back in circulation,” Kakashi said. “Not yet. Not for a while.”

[4beomy]

idk if anyone even enjoys my work enough for this sorta ...update? lol but just in case..

im writing something completely new right now T-T im gonna finish with Totally Not Endgame probably by the end of this month..heh.. (so much world building and character development its a big project) and ill update get over him! a week from now!! (i think. hopefully)

but anyways, it was in the spur of the moment and i got super super inspired and made a roommate!au oneshot for yeonjun. yes, yes im writing for another member that is not beomgyu lmao. i was abt to make it a beomgyu oneshot since i thought the personality fit him but then...idk cute whipped yeonjun is something i've been looking for on here FOR SO LONG. so i was like, why not make one myself! so i made it. and i got carried away with it.. but whatever, i think its genuinely my best work so far T-T (out of all my drafts)

heres the synopsis if anyone sees this and is curious ^^

choosing to live with a complete stranger was...not the smartest thing you've chosen to do. but it's okay! it can't be too bad. well, except it is. it is bad. especially when you're kept awake with music blaring through the walls of your room. just what's up with your roommate?! (this can be changed later on) genre: fluff, crack, enemies to lovers (kinda) word count: IDK BCS IM NOT DONE YET T-T w my layout in mind, i think this will probably be really...really long.

if anyone wants to be in the taglist (though im not planning on making one lol but just in case <3), sending an ask would be great </3 but anywho this is just an update to show that im working on something hehe

edit: ok. what if i include smut. and a fwb relationship. im contemplating rn. bcs like this is the idea i have rn, when they get over the enemies arc (which wont be that important honestly) and become friends, they get like super close, super intimate bcs both oc and yeonjun like skinship then boom, one day, they're both super drunk and !! yeah. then they have this whole thing abt whether or not it matters, and they both decide nope it doesnt. but but but, it happens again, and its like the inevitable atp. so they decide on having sex casually cuz they realize they both enjoy it, sowhat!! and yk how those go, someones gonna catch feelings eventually but im thinking i wanna make them as oblivious as possible and also include one jealousy driven sex where yj just lets out his feelings ??? idk.

the issue is, im not the best smut writer LMAO and its hard for me to convey sexual tension UGHHH IDK ANYMORE THIS IS BASICALLY JUST A RANT

honestly, id prefer to make it just fluff and some angst ig because its comfortable and easy for me. but then theres this thing with long fluff fics getting barely any traction so im kinda demotivated in that aepsct of it all T-T and i do know theres some kinda demand for long smut fics with plot, so in terms of growing this blog thatd probably be the best option.. idk if someone can give me their preference and ill just base it all on that lmao

[plainemmanem]

i challenge you to rank the new djo album!

tbh idek if i could, but end of beginning would absolutely be in my top spot

see i’ve been so afraid to rank the album:( both bc i don’t even know if i can do it bc i love every single song so much, plus i don’t wanna upset anyone BAHHAH

BUT

i will put my opinions under the cut if anyone is curious hehe (ranked worse to best)

p.s. my least favorite song on the album is still so so so so so so so so insanely good, i just have to put one last:( i’m sorry

13. probably is that all it takes only because it’s legitimately 21 second long BAHAH it’s obviously just a cool little transition joe was like “lemme just. idk stuff it right here idk” but i still like it a lot it’s weird and a little psychedelic-esque and it transitions so deliciously into go for it:)

12. probably go for it:( i love the beginning it itches my brain like you wouldn’t believe, and i’m probably gonna eventually go through a phase where it’ll become my favorite, but i just haven’t gotten into it like i have the others:/

11. next… hm i think slither. love this song i listen to it probably every day BAHHAHAHAHGS but i think it is definitely not my favorite on the album, still so so solid still would totally recommend.

10. runner… yes runner i think next. i love this song it’s such a perfect intro to the album i love the sound and the chorus is so good it’s so djo i love 🫶 i would say, if anything, the only reason it’s so low is because all the others are just… so good. fire song killer love to speed to it.

9. next me thinks…. on and on. LOVE this song. lyrics, on point. beat, killer. TOP song i love it. vocals are killer if i saw it live i’d cream myself im not kidding

ok this is where things start getting difficult.

8. pls god. don’t kill me. but i think it’s gonna be end of beginning at number eight. HEAR ME OUT LISTEN ITS OK SIT DOWN ILL EXPLAIN. it’s only bc i have an apprehension towards sad songs and this song. makes me cry. every time. without fail. in the cereal aisle of the grocery store, in the library, when i’m driving. i can’t listen to it and not cry:( bc i relate to it so much and you can tell how raw the lyrics are for him and it’s not necessarily sad sounding but it just evokes emotions within me that i’d simply rather keep buried. i love. LOVE this song. if i wasn’t emotionally unavailable it’d be at number one.

7. next i think gloom. and it’s only this low bc i’ve listened to it so much since it was released so long ago so, it’s like an oldie but a goodie:) this song is so fucking good, when i tell you i go through the full range of emotions listening to this song im not exaggerating. if you want a good djo song that will scare your friends, play gloom

6. change is next:) what a great djo song :) what a cute little bop :) i have really fond summer memories attached to this song so it’s bittersweet to listen to now but it’s so fun and upbeat but the lyrics can kill you if you listen a bit too hard (a djo staple) the relisten-ability of this song is top notch. i could play it for three hours straight and not wanna skip it

yo i am sweating BULLETS trying to decide just know that

5. hmmmm…. um… figure you out? yea. figure you out at five. think i listened to this about 400 times the day it was released. so. 1:23-1:40 is god’s work it really is. give it a listen now or i’ll creep into your room tonight😠

4. half life<3 <3 <3 i scream to this song in the car on the highway this is the go to highway song if anyone was curious. i’ll just play 1:49-2:24 on repeat and scream. scream until my lungs give out and my voice goes hoarse. the lyrics are so poignant and you can FEEL the emotion he’s practically shoving it in your face i wanna EAT THIS SONG

3. kay… controversial take here. but coming in at third place is climax. this song is. perfect for every fucking occasion. walking home from work? yep. studying for class? uh huh. having a mid life crisis in your room? absolutely. making out with your pretty girlfriend or boyfriend? you betcha. its slow and it’s very hypnotic and almost a little off putting but also soothing like . i wanna be in a room, bathed in deep red light, or maybe deep, sapphire blue, and just dance to this fucking song in an empty, dark club. like play this song in the complete dark with headphones in (preferably outside with nature surrounding you) and just. feel. this song. i can’t really describe it any other way. you either get it or you don’t. you’re gonna love this song or you’re gonna hate it. i won’t judge.

alright. this decision was. nearly impossible. but.

2. fool🤤fooooolll🤤 this song is . a masterpiece. a full experience. i could literally play this song for an entire day, over and over, and have this happy little face ☺️ this song makes me want to speak to joseph. this song makes me want to eat his brain.

(fyi fool and i want your video are neatly tied for number one, just at this VERY moment i like i want your video just a HAIR more)

1. and number one is i want your video. ⚠️WARNING⚠️ this is the most djo song djo has ever created. this song. is why . i love his music. i really can’t explain this in words but. if i were to describe to you. how my brain functions. how my mind works. how thoughts come to be in my head. how i would create music. it’s this song. it’s like he took out my brain and squeezed out all of its musical juices and maybe a song out of the liquid. this song is so good, from beginning to end. i wish it was seven hours long. every little noise and nook and cranny of this song is perfect. it’s exactly how i want this song to be. no notes. none. plus the lyrics . the implications of this song. i YEARN to be this song. if i’m reincarnated i wanna just be this song i just wanna be one NOTE of this song. what a bold move from djo and it really paid off wow good for him stellar work

[sonknuxadow]

the council will decide your fate

[sanktasansa]

So I finished Shadow & Bone (the TV series) and as a non-book reader, I liked it! The production value was *chef's kiss* and I really liked all of the characters and the acting. The characters were well defined and even the roles that could have annoyed me, weren't annoying because the actors brought just the right energy to bring them to life. However...I don't think I'll watch much of S2 besides whatever scenes the Darkling is in because the stakes of the plot conflict are just so... ill denfined.

Ravka and Fyerda (and Shu Han?) are at war for...reasons. It's never explained or I blinked and missed it. Is it just a land grab on all sides? Are they bored?? Bueller???

Also there is a civil war brewing...and we have no reason to care if Ravka does or doesn't stay together. The leaders on either side are rapey/ambush-y dicks; I am ambivalent.

So then you got The Darkling--who is a BAD MAN-- but he seems to be the only character interested in progressing the plot?? Because no one else has any plans to do something to major with the war?? Of course, his big idea is morally, ethically Bad because he's the Magneto, fighting for his people but in a genocidal way we don't approve of in this house! On the other hand, as a POC, I get the anxiety of "any second now the majority can turn on me/us when not outright persecuting us stops being useful to them", and that's without me personally witnessing the hundreds of years worth of atrocities done to my people. So yeah, Bad Manipulative Dude, no question, but The Darkling's motivation is clearly defined and he's brings the Epic Dramatics so no wonder he's the most popular character for the local bitches (I am local bitches). I'm just more curious to see what he does next then anyone else because I know what he wants and why it's so important to him. Also Bin Bons crushed it per usual.

I guess the Crows + Nina will be Oceans Eleven-ing and shit which will probably be fun but completely divorced from the A plot. They gave no hook for the Alina and Mal continuing story (to my show-only eyes, anyway) other than Alina wanting to eventual destroy the Fold, but it seems like she only wants to do so b/c she is hero now and that's hero shit. But honestly, I just want her to be as assertive as she was in E5. I kind of wish we had an extra episode of her training and gal paling around the Little Palace with Genya and her other girlfriends. She was so happy!

And you know, I mostly really liked Alina (Jessie is lovely) and I'm all on board with her being livid at The Darkling for his manipulations, but when she was like "You created the Fold! You killed my friends!", was I the only one like:

No, sis; it was YOUR codependent ass got your crew ganked in the Gash because you couldn't deal with your separation anxiety! And I'm not taking any "She couldn't have known!" because she destroyed maps of a sizable place; of course they weren't gonna take just one cartographer when they got a whole team that could split the work! She had to know she gonna be signing up at least one other person for danger. I know that it's different in the book; ostensibly this change gives her more agency, but when you give a character extra agency just to do dumb shit that gets people killed--and then it's never use for character or plot development-- what have you really achieved?

Shipwise, I feel perturbed that by the end of 8 episodes we already know that 90% of the ships are all A) requited, B) genuine, and C) the only thing keeping the two parties apart is personal baggage to could be worked on through consistent communication (granted, Nina and Matthias have a more complex situation but at the base is trust issues). All that is left is the actual getting together which is like, the least interesting part because we already can tell they all will be functional-ish couples. Idk it just feels like Netflix really shot their wad there.

And then...there's dysfunctional Darklina. Listen, no argument that it's toxic, but at least what pulls them together and what keeps them apart are connected both with specific character psychology AND Themes (i.e. ideology clashes, yin yang, magic soul connection, lonely gods, etc. etc.). That's that good angsty depressing Russian shit with a little German Strum und Drang b/c Alesi be spilling his emotions all over the place like mom's spaghetti! And whatever happens with them could actually effect the Big Picture (the saints have granted The Darkling a soulmate and he's making it everyone's problem), so high stakes. Also, listen man: they got nice horny chemistry 🤷🏽‍♀️. Don't @ me about how it's toxic; of course it is toxic, everyone is clear on this, including (and most importantly) the narrative, but in the absence of complex plot, imo (IMO!) it's the part of the story that is most dynamic; dynamics are entertaining, yo. It's gonna end badly (probably?) and I'm ready for the catharsis!

As for S2: I know there is a Lovable Rouge waiting in the wings, so perhaps that casting will intice me to watch the whole season. Regardless of my viewership, I really hope they get renewed ; this cast deserves to be employed and wearing beautiful keftas for years!

[elytrafemme]

👍 oh god go crazy

[ ask game ]

okay so I AM going to start off with the Zine story because i think that's just a fairly decent starting place here.

TLDR: I was a guest writer featured on a Danganronpa Zine and it culminated to be kind of an absolute fucking disaster (no shade to any of the people part of it if they see this but I know damn well that i'm probably on their DNI lists at this point). Also I typed this out in Google Docs so it took me all these words to realize this story is literally not funny at all but if anyone is curious as to this experience there you go.

also ignore my capitalization inconsistencies + don’t RB this bc if someone in this zine sees this ill cry real tears

-

So, before I wrote DSMP content but after I had been acquainted with fandom as a whole, I was in the Danganronpa fandom. Now, i don’t say this to like brag particularly, but i was semi-well known in terms of writing due to the fact that I wrote for a very popular ship in the DR fandom. I only got a Tumblr after impulse making it to be part of a secret exchange on the site I barely fucking remember but otherwise i was very much like an AO3-er. If you’ve read my works please for the love of God no you didn’t <3

Now I never wanted to opt into any zines because i had no methods of receiving payment and a lot of zines i heard of were strictly for profit, so i didn’t really have much interest. However, a friend at the time (who was the person that suggested i made a tumblr the day that i actually did it, and also involved in a story im telling later i think), was the writing mod of a zine and they needed guest writers (AKA a writer that doesn’t apply to join but is part of it and usually has some kind of featured promo beforehand). They asked if i was up for it and after reassuring me i wouldn’t really need to deal with money (it was half profit half charity but i decided to give my other half up entirely to charity bc i couldn’t get the money anyway), i joined the team. The zine was called Dangan Despair Deluxe, if anybody remembers that. The premise was to focus on a cast of characters during the time of despair

Just confirmed that this happened like october of 2020, so I was 15 if anyone cared for that info.

Now the way zines work if people haven’t been part of the backend of it is that you generally have mods for the different areas/mediums (we had a merch mod writing mod art mod gen mod etc) and you have these check ins to make sure that you get the shit done on time. Some zines are pretty particular about the check ins and will like actually leave comments on your work, but im pretty sure that this zine didn’t give too much of a shit about it because i don’t think I ever got a comment??? Or anything abt my writing (but we’ll get to why i also think that didn’t happen). I did writing and I took two different characters bc everyone generally either got like 1 character or 2, nobody had taken much more than that and this went for art and writing. Merch kind of split up differently but similar breakdown there

Now I can’t remember the chronological happenings great, but what I first remembered is that people kind of stopped turning in stuff for the checkins. That was fine, they were lenient if you needed like some more time, but then people started dropping out which became a problem. Also there was this weird issue with one person getting roped into being part of it, leaving, then rejoining, then leaving again so idk what was up with that or who tf that person was. And then shit started to hit the fan when mods started like outright ghosting, including the writing mod, which kind of meant we were free balling it

This random person who did writing and maybe art stepped up to be part of the mod team, and honestly thank fucking God for them. They started trying to handle stuff, but eventually it kind of became a mess where we shoved back the intended deadline for a while because we literally did not have any of the finished products. The merch ended up being weirdly inconsistent because like 3 different people all did different parts of merch so it was kind of cool but also instead of having, like, stickers for all the characters, you kind of just got stickers for 4 of them which like, was fine did what we had to whatever. People covered the writing that needed to get done and in terms of art i think we were fine. Random note but we also had this one person who like was very talented and generally cool to talk to but absolutely could not do something that didnt have an implied ship in it which like kind of wasn’t the goal but i think at some point we were like you know what at this fucking point we may as well

we had this period of time where this person who stepped up to be part of the mod team… did like all of the formatting. Now there WAS a formatting mod and idk what the fuck happened there but essentially by the end we had like 3 mods, this person who was doing the financial transactions, formatting, and STILL DOING THE ART/WRITING, the person who headed the whole project that was like half responsive at best, and then this one person that came into play maybe twice and never again

Set off this really long period of time in which like nobody ended up getting any of the profit stuff also we had no idea if it was formatted. If you got the zine you would know that the formatting genuinely is fucking GORGEOUS so they did a great job but it was really fucking weird because there were just times where we were like. Hey guys what the hell is going on in this project we tried to finish three months ago

This person who became a mod was literally doing like 50 million things bc this was like april may so we were all real fucking busy, but they still managed to sort things out but the thing is like. You can only really gift people so much money at a time bc otherwise it kind of just does weird shit idk so they consistently couldn’t get all the money over and then people also dropped off of the project and didn’t like actually ask for the money so they had no fucking clue what to do. Also i just looked back and the platform we used to sell the zine also only sent money payments out on fucking Fridays so i have gen no clue why that was a thing but that had also been an issue. We got like enough money to donate to charity but it was just really weird bc whenever we asked for updates it was mostly just this singular person trying to do everything

Anyway. We got the zine out and it was great and now the server is somehow still kept alive bc one of the contributors keeps promo-ing other zines in this one channel and we never fucking reply so like sometimes it lights up. Anyway that was the story of the first and last time i was ever part of a zine

Here are the zine previews BTW bc I never fucking shared them bc when the zine finished i had no idea what the protocol was for sharing writing so

📷Why is that what happens when I try to copy and paste a photo hellaur

[1990jeevas]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[partnersatfazbear]

Fazbear Frights: What We Found Analysis

Here’s my analysis for What We Found, the third story in Gumdrop Angel. I wrote this as I read so it may be a little different than my previous analysis where I read the story first and went back.

If you’re a Michael Afton fan I highly recommend this. Also, there’s possibly some insight into William Afton, Mrs. Afton, and Henry too, so it’s worth a skim.

Pg 144 '...a place thirty-some years forgotten' Just reconfirming FNAF 3 is 30 years past *one* of the FNAF closings, presumably FNAF 2 location.

Pg 145 "The whole building was giving him [Hudson] a headache." FIX THE VENTILATION BRUH

Pg 148 '...they were able to use salvaged derelict equiptment original to the old pizzerias.' Another confirmation of something we heard from Phone Guy.

Pg 147 "How old are you?" "Twenty-three, same as you." I think this gives us Michael's age during FNAF 3.

EDIT: This kept me awake last night. Obviously this is impossible because he has to be alive for at least 10 years before 1983, BUT maybe its just reconfirming FNAF 3′s year? 2023?

Pg 149 "Hudsan's dad died and his mom married Lewis, a ridiculous balding man who wore plaid vests and smoked a pipe" Did... Did this book just seriously imply Mrs. Afton left William for Henry? Really? (Yes, there's differences; the husband is dead and the man wears plaid 'vests' but it seems very odd to include that detail. This could just have been the writer's own imagination, though.) I have seen this as a fan theory and 100% explains the jealousy aspect of William, but I can't help but kinda hate it. I think this is very important, though, and probably Scott's intention. "This horrible little man [Lewis]... would make Hudson's next ten years a living Hell" This REALLY intrigues me given the context I just went over. The text implies Lewis was fairly neglectful to our main character / Michael stand-in Hudson. Maybe I'm wrong and for some reason Mrs. Emily left and went to William? XD Haha, I'm reading too much into this page. Maybe I'll come back to this later. I figure it's more of Scott possibly including double-details (contradicting stuff with the same character that really applies to two, which has been something I heavily pointed out in previous anaylsis on this blog) Having said that, I'm going w/the former because I can't imagine Henry being abusive (neglectful yes, abusive no) and he's never been portrayed that way in official works like William has in the novels.

Pg 150 "Hudson began to screw up in class...a product of spending the night in fear that his stepfather [Lewis]... [would] beat him just for the fun of it." Ooof. Big confirm on William actually being abusive. Unless we stick with the Henry theory for Lewis (combined with Midnight Motorist Henry theory / alcoholic). "...near-daily beatings..." "his mom started taking pills to get through the day..." So, whoever Mrs. Afton is, she was definetly not paying attention. But then, most people married to serial killers either don't notice because of denial (like this) or because the killer is so manipulative / careful they can't notice.

"Barry, who had red hair and freckles..." Yo?! Is that a description of Fritz?! These friends in the story could be the other kids Michael knew's stand-in's, aka the two gravestones with names he used (Fritz and Jeremy), as shown in the checks for the games and FNAF 6. I've long figured Michael was probably friends with the victims--it makes them easier, although riskier, targets [for William]. The two friends are male, too, like Fritz and Jeremy. If you're curious about Duane's description (our stand in for Jeremy), it's "tight black shirt... muscles... black hair long enough for a glossy ponytail..." I'm not sure if this matches anything found in the novels or contradicts them, though. (The novels = TSE trilogy)

"And so it went... until the night of the fire." For context, this is before FF burns down. We're learning of Hudson's life from his close friends in childhood, his father's death, his mother remarrying, to his abusive stepfather, to his grades slipping to this line. This would be a new fire not seen/mentioned in the games...

Pg 151 "...go to Charlie's for a sundae..." Really. Really Scott. Just gonna use this name again. OK. I'm not even gonna discuss this because it's probably irrelevant. *This is confirmed on pg 158 to be an ice cream shop. No lore relevance aside the annoying name coincidences Scott loves to troll with.

"This is not... an advance into enemy territory, a fight with demons, or a descent into Hell..." Uh, what? What is Hudson talking about? XD I'm only noting it because it seems so out of place. He's probably talking about video games or something.

Another note, although I don't have a specific reference since it is mentioned off-hand many times, is that Hudson keeps referring to his "history" which is implied to have kept him from getting a well-paying job and a girl he's crushing on doesn't know this "history" which is good for him. Seems good old "Michael Stand-In" has done some jail time or something. Edit: On pg 154/155 the girl asks Hudson, "Did you do it?" Seems he may have killed his stepfather or been involved with something else just as bad. Edit 2: No, I was thinking too deep into it. This probably refers to Evan's death at Fredbear's. DUH.

Pg 156 describes an actual "prize corner" in FF! What am I even reading? IIRC this is in FNAF 3, too. So they just hand out these scary gift boxes to people that complete the attraction? (Hudson says he *would* have fun handing out the scary toys to kids when this location opens--kind of a bully thing to do, eh?)

"[Hudson] avoid[ed] glancing in any of the mirrors..." I'm only pointing this out because it could be reference to one of two things. 1) We know because of one of UCN's music tracks, William has a fear of his reflection. Michael probably shares this trait, especially since 2) after Ennard and all... and later on pg 157 it also says, "he never wanted to face: himself" Sounds like guilt, my guy.

Pg 157 "blonde hair... blue eyes..." Hudson shares an eye color with Michael. It's possible Michael had blonde hair as a child and it changed to brown (it's common, something I personally went through being technically blonde/ blue eyed myself)

"He [Hudson] knew from personal experience that toys could turn from fun...to torture ina heart-beat" Fairly self explanatory. Either Hudson's worked at a creepy location before or he doesn't like remembering Fredbear's.

*checks how much is left.* There's still 35 pages (not counting back/front) left of this... This is gonna be a lot of notes.

Pg 158 Hudson doesn't have a car. Poor Mike, probably having to walk everywhere. Especially as a corpse.

Pg 160 This page describes many physical issues Hudson has that prevents him from entering the Navy, all from the abuse of Lewis. Obvious paralell to Michael becoming an undead [because his father sent him to CBPR indirectly causing his condition]

Pg 161 "How's your granny, Hud?... ...Is she still alive?" "I don't think she can die." Does anyone in the Afton family really 'die'? XD

Pg 162 These few pages discuss Hudson's grandmother. She's described as "a seer who claimed to know the future... ...wore big men's plaid flannel shirts with baggy jeans" Um, more plaid / flannel? AGH. STAHP. Lowkey, I would totally headcanon my Aunt Jen like this, though.

Pg 163 "Hudson's mom... the way she was before Hudson's dad had died... never... particularly warm and fuzzy... but... effiencient and responsible..." More about Mrs. Afton, so that's kinda neat.

"Hudson's dad was fun and attentive." There's a good Dad in this series?

"Unfortunetly, he also struggled with mental illness." "invisible low points" (Pg 164) Kinda reminds me of how Henry is described after Charlotte's death in the books.

Pg 164 "When Steven got himself into a bad deal that cost him his small business... he'd taken his life." Oh, it is Henry! SMH. Way to use confusing paralells. So, from our understanding thus far, Hudson's real father, Steven, is our Henry stand-in. His step-father despite being described similar to Henry, is actually our William stand-in. Fair game, Scott.

Pg 164 "...he [Hudson] was locked into a supply closet..." Oh shit, you guys. So, let me go on a tangent here, because this IS important! I just watched a retrospective on Sister Location and FNAF 6 earlier and one theory for Midnight Motorist was the person in the chair was the mother and the kid was Michael. I think this little line may confirm that. In fact, the story may be the key to figuring things out. Obviously, the line is a paralell to FNAF 4's scene in which Crying Child was locked in the supply closet of Fredbear's. I know some people, including Matpat, believe[d] CC was Michael, and in this book's context, it sort of works. This does contradict Step Closer and 1000 other things that make Michael the older brother, but maybe it's hinting at MM? Abusive stepdad (possibly Henry... maybe William is gone at this point), checked out Mom (hey, grey couch lady with Foxybro's font). IDK, but its definetly something to think about.

Pg 165 Lewis is mentioned as calling Hudson "nothing" and saying "you're nothing" on several occasions on this page. Just more abuse, for those accurate fanfic writers like me. Also I kinda wanna watch Morel Orel again. Yall know my fav character is Clay. Yall know.

"You're smoke." <-- Lewis / The text later reads, "...there was some irony, given what eventually happened." BRUH. Why did your stepdad die in a fire? :V TELL ME.

"When his family's house burned down at the end of his senior year..." Huh. Is there a fire we don't know about in the game-verse? Could this explain what happened to the FNAF 4 house before MM house?!

"...it purged Hudson of Lewis and his mother." MRS. AFTON BURNED ALIVE, TOO? Bruh. I can't with this story.

The text later describes the fire is concluded to be man-made and Hudson was blamed for it. Can't say if this ties to Michael, but it IS interesting... TBF, there is a small paralell to draw between Henry in FNAF 6 and his history of suicide in the books, too.

Pg 166 "...this place's [FF] busted thermostat.." I just find this line funny.

Pg 167 "...after three weeks of keeping an eye on the place" Some more timeline context for FNAF 3. We know that Michael worked there a little while before we start playing the game thanks to one of the phone calls, IIRC, so this makes sense. If Michael was accused of [something] and also wanting to hunt down his father, then it makes perfect sense why he's working a dead end job at Freddy's over and over and over. Fun fun fun.

Pg 169 "He hated to think about a functional character [Foxy]" This line is in regards to Hudson not liking the set up of Pirate's Cove and Foxy's hook to scare people. Sounds familiar, don't it? (For Michael anyway.)

Pg 173 "Some big find is arriving tomorrow." SPRINGY BOI! COME ON BOOK, get on with the show?

Pg 176 "Granny was wearing a red-and-green plaid shirt and her baggy jeans." Nothing special, but it was specifically brought up twice. I'm kind of racking my brain trying to understand what the point of this character is outside of "woooo everything is haunted don't you know that" kind of character.

Pg 180 "...dropped the crate on the linoleum with a resounding thud." HEY. Poor Springtrap, just gettin' tossed around like the trash he is.

Pg 186 "If you weren't so stupid, I'd tell you more about it." Springtrap bringing the burn. =:)

"A voice with a burr-like rasp...hint of a Southern accent" I'm going to assume this is because it's Lewis probably in the suit in this story and not our old British lad.

"It's was Mr. Atkin's voice." THE MATH TEACHER? *goes back to check* 'The algebra teacher'. Okay...

Pg 190 Okay, so Hudson hear's Lewis' voice this time. Okay, I get it now. Springtrap in this kind of imbodies all of Hudson's old bullies, including the teacher. He also has PTSD, just FYI. IDK if anyone finds that important, but it's fairly obvious by the line "He wasn't in his bedroom. Lewis didn't just slam his head into a desk; his head had been slammed into the [arcade] game."

"Why did he hallucinate a scene from his childhood?" Oh, it's not PTSD, then. It's just the VENTILATION ERROR. lol Okay.

Just a note, as I'm reading through the more action-based stuff, I kind of feel bad for Michael if he had flashbacks like this guy. They're intense.

So, Lewis' voice finally comes out of Springtrap on Pg 213. There's that.

Pg 220 "You can just stay there [in his room]" Kind of a paralell to Midnight Motorist. Lewis is saying it to Hudson. I really feel like the kid in the MM game is Michael because of this story...

Pg 223 "Heat purges. Fire heals." I'm sure that's Henry's life motto.

The ending was stupid, but most in these stories are. Hudson is hallucinating and is implied to have burned himself alive in FF's oven. Meh? The first half of this one is A TRIP and a little insight into what I 100% believe is Michael's childhood. I think the saddest part of it all is that we never got Springtrap speaking to Michael in FNAF 3--and if it's ever remade I hope we get more of them interacting.

[padsnprongs]

The discovery

in which Sirius, Peter and James confront Remus about where exactly he goes each month

TW: panic attack, self deprecating thoughts, implied mentions of abuse but not really (idk if these actually need a tw but just bear these in mind when reading <3)

‘Where are they?’ Remus groaned.

Sighing, he turned his attention from his trunk to his bedside table, pulling open the drawer and rifling through, looking for his fluffy socks. ‘I know I left them in here!’

Although he would often get teased for it, ‘who wears socks to bed, Rem, that’s literally the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard’, Remus knew that ‘my feet get cold, okay, Sirius? Stop judging me.’

Just as his hand closed around a freshly folded pair of fluffy socks, a triumphant grin spreading across his face, he heard a small cough from behind him.

‘Um, Rem? Can we talk?’ a tentative voice asked.

Remus, looking up at the sound of his name, took in the sight before him: Sirius, Peter and James, his best mates, standing shoulder to shoulder, looking as if this was the last place they wanted to be.

Furrowing his brows, Remus answered, ‘Um, sure? What’s going on?’

The three of them glanced at each other, none, it seemed, wanting to start. Dread settled in Remus’ stomach as he wondered what had happened.

‘Spit it out. I wanna go to bed.’ Remus prompted.

Finally, James seemed to work up the courage to speak, and, taking a deep breath, he started, ‘Okay, there’s no beating around the bush here. We want to know where you go each month.’

Remus felt his stomach lurch in fear as he looked at each of his friends in turn, each face holding the same curious, yet worried, expression. Gathering his thoughts, he reminded himself that there was no way the conclusion they must have come to, was the truth.

So, he replied, ‘What do you mean? I already told you, I’m visiting my mum.’

‘Yeah, and we know you told us she’s ill, but… every single time, you come back looking just as sick as she apparently is.’ Peter piped up.

‘And you never talk about it outside of your visits. Plus, she seems perfectly fine in your letters from home. And, no offence, Rem, but you're not exactly the best liar; it is kinda obvious.’ James added.

And then Sirius chimed in, ‘At first we thought something… bad… was going on at home, and that was why you always look like you’ve got bruises and new scars when you come back each month, but you’re always going on about how much you love your parents, and it didn’t particularly make sense that you would keep going back.’

At this, Remus cut in, ‘What are you saying, guys?’ He paused, trying to collect himself, and then continued, ‘Everything’s fine at home. I don’t know what you’re going on about.’

‘I think you do.’ James raised his eyebrows. ‘We know everything’s fine at home now; it just didn’t seem right when we thought about it. But we don’t think you’re going home at all.’

Remus was panicking now. Here were the only three friends he’d ever had, mere inches away from discovering his secret. He couldn’t handle this. What was he thinking? It had been a terrible idea coming to Hogwarts in the first place. He should have known. Being around other people would never have worked. It was too risky for him to try to make friends and yet he had done it anyway, like a fool. But it was too late now. He was in too deep. Even though the three boys were complete idiots sometimes, and, frankly, quite annoying, he couldn’t imagine what he would do if he lost them. He never should have let himself get attached.

After a few seconds of silence, Sirius braved the waters, and cautiously looked up at Remus. ‘We’ve been thinking, and… Rem, it can’t be a coincidence that every month, when you disappear, it’s… it’s on a full moon.’

‘Tell us we’ve gone down the wrong path, and we’ll stop bothering you.’ James gently said, after Remus’ eyes widened. ‘But I don’t think we have, have we?’

Remus was too shocked to answer. All he could do was stand there, his jaw working desperately, his eyes frantically darting between each of his friends, all of whom he would now never see again. He stuttered for a moment, before giving up, hoping that they weren’t saying what he thought they were saying.

‘Remus,’ Peter asked softly, ‘are you a werewolf?’

Remus’ whole world tilted on its axis. The long-forgotten fluffy socks, which Remus had been, absent-mindedly, gripping onto for dear life, now dropped to the floor. As the three boys watched the socks hit the ground, realisation dawned in their eyes.

‘Oh, Rem…’ Sirius whispered, genuine concern spreading across his face.

But Remus couldn’t hear him. The blood had drained from his face as his head span like a hurricane. This is it. It’s over. I had a good run. I’ve got no choice but to leave, don’t I? They’ll tell everyone, and then the gig’s up. No one wants to go to school with a monster. Their parents’ll probably write to Dumbledore. Better for me to just go home now, before everyone starts complaining. I guess I’m being home-schooled again. I wonder what Mum’ll say.

The thoughts flew around his mind, brewing like a storm cloud. But there was one in particular that sliced through the storm like a shard of glass. I was the happiest I’ve ever been with you. He couldn’t remember ever smiling so much before he had come to Hogwarts. Even his own father hardly looked at him anymore. But that didn’t matter, because he had found a new family in these three boys, who were standing before him and shifting their feet uncomfortably. He genuinely looked forward to waking up each day, just because he knew he got to spend it with them.

But even that had been snatched away from him; his fate would never change. He was destined to be alone forever. The sooner he accepted that, the sooner he could move on. He had had no business inserting himself into these boys’ lives and calling himself their friend. Soon they would shut him out, just like everyone else had.

He barely registered the looks of uneasiness that passed between his friends. Former friends, he reminded himself. They won’t even be able to look me in the eye now. Why on earth would they want to be friends with me?

They’ll never see me again now anyway.

I’ll never see them again.

This is it.

It’s over.

As the realness of the situation hit, Remus stumbled backwards, as the room span around him, until he hit a wall. Gasping for breath, he brought himself back to the present, and his back slid down the wall until somehow, he was sitting on the floor. He drew his knees up to his chest, and buried his face in them, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t notice the three boys sinking down to the floor with him, until he felt a hand on his shoulder, which he automatically flinched away from.

‘Shit, Rem… I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’ James seemed genuinely concerned.

No. Why would he be concerned? He’s only asking me that cause if I have a heart attack right here, which seems pretty damn likely, they’ll all feel responsible.

James’ question didn’t even process in Remus’ brain, which was desperately trying to slow down and stop spinning; the world still seemed to be tilting, and he was getting dizzy.

Suddenly, everything seemed to kick in more, and as Remus tried to take in a deep breath, the air caught, and he found himself fighting for oxygen. He was full-on sobbing at this point, which he normally never would have been doing in front of people; however, at the moment, everything around him had blacked out, and he couldn’t seem to think clearly.

It wasn’t until someone to his left enveloped him in a hug, rubbing circles into his back and whispering soothing words in his ear, it’s okay, Rem… we’re here… we’re not going anywhere… breathe in through your nose… and then out through your mouth… that’s it… you’re okay… you’re here… everything will be okay…, that he managed to finally suck in some air.

Gradually, everything slowed down; the room stopped spinning, his mind stopped racing, and his vision seemed to clear. Blinking feverishly, he took in three faces staring at him, eyes wide and panicked, hands unsure where to place, legs awkwardly crossed beneath them as they tried to comfort Remus.

Sirius was still rubbing soothing circles on his back, and eventually, he felt his heart rate slow down.

As his mind cleared, he realised just how serious this was. If this got out, which it undoubtedly would, he would have to be completely cut off from society. He had known it was only a matter of time before his dormmates found out, but he thought he had longer. He thought he would have more time.

Looking up at the concerned faces before them, he took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to say, in as indifferent a voice as he could muster when he had just had a very public panic attack, ‘So, I guess the secret’s out. I’ll start packing my things then.’ He couldn’t bring himself to meet their eyes and try to gauge their reactions; he already knew that they would be filled with relief at the prospect of not having to share a dorm with a monster any longer.

Just as he was pulling away from Sirius and leaning onto his heels to stand up, he felt a hand on his knee.

‘And why on earth would you be doing that?’ Peter asked, his hand holding Remus in place.

Remus raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, it would be better for me to get ahead of this. So, I’ll leave now before everyone finds out and makes me leave anyway.’

‘What makes you think everyone’ll find out? We’re not gonna tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.’ James said, with a tilt of his head.

‘Yeah, we don’t care that you’re a werewolf. We just wanna make sure you’re okay.’ Sirius piped up.

Remus looked at the three of them in turn, his mind filled with suspicion, before narrowing his eyes. ‘No. There’s a catch. There’s always a catch. No one’s just okay with something like this.’

‘Well, we are. Come on, Rem, we’ve known you for, what, three years now? You really think this changes how we think of you? You really think we would out you to everyone?’ Sirius’ expression was steely and defensive, but his eyes held hints of hurt.

‘Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I think, actually. There’s no way you’re not gonna look at me differently. Everyone does. No, it’s better for me to leave. It’s not like you guys actually care about me all that much, so-’

‘Seriously? We “don’t care” about you? And that’s why we’re sat on the floor with you, is it?’ James shot back.

‘Yeah, Rem, the floor is literally made of stone. My arse is bloody freezing.’ Peter complained.

‘Not where I was going with that, but you’re not wrong, Pete. Listen, Remus. Of course we care about you. The whole reason we found out about this was because we were worried about you. Every single month, you leave for the night, and come back in the morning with bruises and fresh scars. Did you really think we wouldn’t notice? Remus, you’re literally our best friend. This doesn’t change the way we think of you at all. And it’s shitty that you immediately assume it would, and that needs to change. But we can’t help you until you let us in.’ James’ eyes were full of sincerity, and Remus almost found himself believing what he said.

‘And that goes for all of us, Remus. Let us help you.’ Sirius gripped his hand as he spoke, squeezing it tightly.

Remus looked around at his friends sitting before him, at the earnestness on their faces, and finally, at his hand, intertwined with Sirius’.

Slowly, he nodded, and his next word came out in a whisper, his voice cracking.

‘Okay.’

Bonus:

‘Ok, I know we’re like, having a moment here, but, like, seriously, Remus? Did you really think we’d be scared of you? You fold your socks, for Christ’s sake. You’re literally the least scary person I know!’ For emphasis, Peter groped around for the abandoned folded fluffy socks, holding them up to eye-level as he spoke.

‘Actually, I have to disagree, Pete. I think he’s absolutely terrifying. This one time, I saw him folding his dirty washing. It’s gonna get crumpled up anyway! Scared me shitless.’ Sirius joked, looking up at Remus with eyes full of mirth.

James hummed in agreement. ‘Going back to what Peter said, though, I can’t believe you thought that? If anything, I’m more scared of Dorcas than I am of you, and that’s saying something, because she’s a literal human teddy bear.’

Remus shook his head as he chuckled. ‘Shut up,you guys.’

AN: okay so i just wanna thank you if you read this far!! also im not particularly happy with how this turned out but i promise myself id post it today lol but any constructive criticism or literally anything would be much appreciated!! ok that's it lol have a nice day <3

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 4

The Case of the Puzzling Painting 

Welcome back to Loam Hall where our Sylvan Sleuths are still hanging out in a room with a dead body. When we left off, Gangie had been snooping into Sly’s conversation about Fletcher Cottonbottom and now, he uses his Criminal Contacts feature to see what he knows, if anything, about a recent return. With a 26 he knows that his family used to be well respected but after the whole business with the insurance fraud and Sly busting it, the family kind of fell out of favor. So Fletcher was in a weird position where he was rich and a part of high society and had enough dirt on everyone to get them to do things for him but couldn’t actually show his face because he was disgraced. Gangie also knows that it’s rumored that Fletcher’s weapons running scheme was actually a front for moving art. 

With regard to more recent news about Fletcher, Gangie was never in direct contact with him but he knows that 3-4 years ago, his most trusted henchmen started going missing--people attributed it to some kind of “Cottonbottom Curse” and that rumor is part of why Gangie decided to get out of dodge in the first place.

Buck does an insight check on the rest of the PCs and, with an 18, doesn’t clock anyone there as especially suspicious (Lars isn’t there but like..it’s Lars). Ian tries to give Squire Badger his last rites but ends up pulling the knife out, putting it back in, flapping blood everywhere with his feathers, and sending Constance into a badger rage. Buck tries to help smooth over things, claiming his big screw up was a new style of avant garde church ritual (Ian appreciates the support--who ministers to the ministers, you know?) and in the process sees his knife for the first time. Which, you know. He obviously suspected before but never nice to see.

While this is going on, Daisy sneaks off to try and check on the secret door and everyone sees her do it/eventually follows her but we’ll get back to her once we check in with Lars who is en route to the kitchen. Once in the hallway, they do a perception check and, on a 15, there are 3 doors and Ally gets to pick one. There’s a kitchen where Gilfoyle is talking to a group, a door where someone is crying behind it, and a door where they can hear nothing. Ally, the galaxy brained genius, goes for the quiet door. That’s the money door and with their ears pressed against the door, they can hear Edwina and Carolyn--the two mice maids that overheard Buck’s conversation with the Badger--whispering about what happened there and wondering if they should pay back the money they were paid to by Buck.

Gilfoyle walks out and sees Lars snooping but on a Nat 20 deception check, Lars is able to play dumb and skate by suspiciousness. Also, with a dirty 20 perception check, when the mice maids leave, Lars sees that they’ve been stealing silverware. 

OK, back to Daisy who is getting to the séance room as quickly as possible. She has two rounds before people catch up to her so she’s trying to make the most of it by Investigating the painting she noticed was bolted to the wall earlier. She first rolls an 11, getting no new information. This is so frustrating to her. She’s good at this dammit! But being around Sly is rattling her terribly. She has feelings for him--strong ones. But she isn’t herself around him. How can she be with him if he makes her so unlike herself? Her introspection is enough to earn her advantage from Brennan on her second roll and boom! 25! Daisy is back. 

With that roll, she notices that the eyes in the painting actually move and can be used as a spying post on the other side. Then Sly runs in and they start bickering immediately. Daisy throws a crystal ball at him and absolutely brains him on a nat 20--the first combat roll of this very RP oriented season. 

Buck and Ian are still in the room with the body for the moment and Buck asks Ian about the first few names on the list Gangie gave him. There were a bunch of members of the Burrows family--a working class family that all died of a consumptive illness. And then the Diggories who died in a carriage accident. The connecting thread? All badgers. Buck then zooms away to follow Daisy, Ian follows, and Lars, seeing them as they leave the kitchens, also follows. 

So all the PCs are in the séance room now and they kinda have the sense of, “OK y’all, we’re all screwed but we’re al screwed together so we better throw our lot in with each other and start working together so we don’t die because no one else here is on our side.” Buck proposes an alliance and they all agree to share info. Sly asks about Buck’s knife and Buck admits it’s his but says he didn’t do it. Sly believes him--not because he wouldn’t do it but because he has no motive (that he knows about anyway. Buck doesn’t spill about the contract). 

Gangie shares the list of names from before with the whole group.It’s like half badgers and then some other critters (full list here). Sly doesn’t share any of his secret info Grant got texted. Daisy and Buck don’t share about the key (though Sly you’ll remember sat her steal it). Buck does however mention his suspicion about the fact that Gilfoyle wasn’t around when Squire Badger gave his speech and Daisy does the same about the fact that he said he would call the cops but the cops haven’t arrived yet. Lar’s remembers that Jez’s husband is gunning for at seat in parliament and wonders if this is related somehow. Daisy mentions the eyes in the painting and everyone is like way to bury the lede dude! Especially when they’ve just all spilled their secrets. Everyone checks on the painting and with a 25 Gangie can intuit that this is probably used to spy on rich people when they’re mid-séance and vulnerable and spilling secrets (which he doesn’t share but Daisy comes to a similar conclusion on her own). Buck on a 23 can smell ledgers (idk how but the DM said so and I’m reporting it) and guesses that that’s where the Squire’s real office is which means that’s probably where the contract he needs to find and destroy is too. 

 The group makes a list of their loose ends which are what’s on the other side of the painting, what’s up with Fletcher, and the smell of ozone. Plus Ian remembers that the date on the bust in the study is wrong and shares with the class. 

Lars tries to get to the other side of the room by ripping the painting off the hinges with a very impressive 26 but there is fully a wall behind it and the noise brings Gilfoyle, Harding, and the Badger kids running. Lars notes that in the stone behind the painting it says “⅓”  and then hurriedly puts the painting back. Daisy thinks that might refer to a secret third floor or basement accessible by the elevator (but my first thought was that there were 2 other spying paintings in the house somewhere).

Everyone in the room hears the Gilfoyle and co. coming and try to act natural. There is a group stealth check that they all tank so heavily that all the suspicious staff and kids need to do to suss them out is roll above a 5.

AND THEY ROLL A TWO. 

With that, Lucretia appears, totally buys that they’re doing very important spiritual work in there, and in fact guards the door for them. They use the privacy bought by their very vigilant sentry to plan their next steps. Sly, Daisy, and Ian will check out the study while they rest of them check out the elevator. As they exit, Lucretia asks if they got the answers they needed out of the spirits.

Oh yes, says Daisy, echoing Lucretia’s nonsense prediction from last episode. Either something good or bad might happen. Either way, I’m excited! 

Case Notes

How baller of a player move is it to say a line so poignant that the DM is forced to let you roll with advantage? I have been on the other side of that as the DM and it’s so great. MAD respect to Rekha for that. AND THEN THE DICE COOPERATED. You simply love to see it. 

The other best Rekha line is Daisy to Sly upon being called out about stealing the key in his normal, coy, quippy way: You saw me bitch.

Shout out to Grant also for being constantly on as Sly. The guy is on point always. Impeccable.

I am SO SO SO happy Daisy and Sly are on the same mission team. If I was friends with either of them I’d be like, “This is a toxic relationship, they make you too crazy.” But as an outside viewer I want them to be within crystal ball throwing distance always.  

The question I’m sure we’re all asking: Is Brennan enough of a minx to invoke the butler did it trope? I know everyone at the table is thinking it even if none of them have said it outright. I figured the reason the cops haven’t showed up yet was the storm but who knows?

Two pieces of housekeeping, only Buck and Gangie know what the room behind the painting is with their high rolls and, after the bit of passing it back and forth with Buck, Daisy has the key. 

I really can’t do the bit about Gangie’s mom justice. I wish there was a comedy Emmy for actual play DnD shows so D20 could get the accolades it deserves just for that bit. 

Brennan indicated that the conversation between the mice maids was the most interesting info (Gilfoyle convo to staff was too public to be juicy/they could get the info from one of the many gathered staff people and crying is info on its own--though I am curious about who the crying person was) but I’m wondering what he meant by that. Because the fact that Buck paid them might be interesting if Buck did it. But we know he didn’t. Is it the fact that they were in the room at all? Again, info that the party knows if not Lars specifically.  The fact that they were stealing silverware? What’s Brennan’s game here?

[aktiophis]

Timing by the Stars: Days, Hours, and The Moon

This will be the first in a little miniseries of posts on astrological timing, specifically as it concerns the making of Talismans, but the principle could equally be applied to a one off ritual. Originally, I was just going to write one post but it got quite unwieldy to talk about so many different concepts all at once, so instead I’m starting at the beginning. I’ll get into more complicated things whenever I feel like writing them frankly, and I’ll probably edit this post with links when I do. (This part alone is long enough Jesus Christ)

It can be useful to think of the election you choose for a Talisman to be its time of birth. Someone born with a very dignified Venus will most often have an easier time doing Venusian things, to be very, very broad with the astrology. But the gist is; planet is more better=person is more good at planet things. Naturally, then, a Venus Talisman made when Venus was very strong and well placed will also be very good at Venus things, and thus good at whatever it’s purpose is. This is the basis of talismanic magic using astrology.

First, though, I’m going to talk about the barebones of astrological Talisman timing, namely the days and hours. I’m including the moon also because it’s the other key consideration for astrological magic generally.

The Days and Hours

[Credit: Digital Ambler]

It isn’t a coincidence that the planets in Romance languages are named after the planets. Even in English (and I would assume other Germanic languages although I’ve never checked, but if they don’t I’d be very surprised), the Gods for each day line up with their Greco-Roman approximate counterparts. As such, each day has an affinity for its namesake planet. That’s why so many spells call for a Friday, and so many curses for a Tuesday or Saturday. At the very most basic level of astrological timing, with no knowledge of anything else, this is how you would time a spell or Talisman, probably at some auspicious time like dawn.

Something not as well known by non-occultists is the concept of planetary hours. Unlike civil hours, these aren’t regular in length and have nothing at all to do with what time it says on the clock for the most part. Planetary hours are divided into two sections. Here are some points to get you the gist before we continue:

The planetary day starts at Dawn, so even if it’s 2:00am on Tuesday, you are in a planetary hour of Monday

The first hour of the day always corresponds to the planet the day is named after, in our example, at Dawn on Tuesday the first hour is Mars

There are 12 day hours, and 12 night hours. The day hours begin at sunrise and end at sunset, while the night hours begin at sunset and end at the sunset of the next day.

Each day hour is exactly 1/12 of the time from sunrise to sunset, and the equivalent for night hours.

The hours cycle in the Chaldean order, which is ascending mean speed:Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, the Sun, Venus, Mercury, the Moon

 As you can see, there isn’t much the same between civic hours and the planetary hours. You can calculate these by hand, but if you’re like me and use them a lot there’s no need to bother because there are dozens of apps. For those curious, the Placidus house system can also be used to find the planetary hour, as each half of a house corresponds to a planetary hour. I deeply dislike using Placidus for natal astrology but for that reason I sometimes use it to find the planetary hours (not the houses, though).

These two things are the most basic considerations for Talisman making. For a Solar talisman, the hour of the sun on Sunday. Bam. Specifically, the first hour is often considered the best because it coincides with dawn/sunrise, i.e. the daily birth of the sun and illumination of the world with spiritual light etc. but any of the correct planetary hours will do the trick.

One thing to note is when I start getting into more complicated electional stuff, you might find a great election that isn’t in the right day or hour. By no means disqualify it because the day doesn’t fit. If Mercury is at the most powerful it will be for the next few months after but it’s a Friday and the hour of Mercury doesn’t fall within this very specific timeframe (Like say it’s Cazimi in Gemini, in its bounds conjunct the midheaven, or something, Idk), do it anyway honestly. You’ll never get everything to be just as you want it, and frankly days and hours come every day/week, and some things only happen once every 20 years.

The Moon

[credit: Honestly no idea]

That’s right, it’s not just for Wiccans! The state of the moon has been a big consideration for ceremonial magic, folk magic, you name it, for a long ass time. Even in astrological Talismans not concerning the moon, as the planet associated not only with magic but also with collecting and reflecting the ‘astral light’ onto the Earth, the condition of the moon is an important consideration.

Anyone who has read a 101 book on magic will have seen that “waxing to increase something, waning to decrease” thing, and that’s the gist honestly. For Talismans though, you want a waxing or full moon. The talisman might be protection against evil, but f you did it when the moon was a waning crescent it wouldn’t be the evil decreasing so much as the protective Talisman. I’m not going to discourage people from doing stuff in a waning moon, I do all the time, just be aware it’s not necessarily the best, especially in the case of Talismans and astrological magic. To be quite frank I feel like this can sometimes be overlooked as a factor, but if it’s an important thing it can wait until the moon is growing

Now, with just that and the days/hours you’re honestly pretty much set, but I’m writing this to eventually get onto more complicated things so there are some more bases I’d like covered.

The Lunar mansions are the obvious thing to talk about next. The Zodiac Wheel of 12 signs is intrinsically a solar schema for astrology. The beginning of the Zodiac at 0 Aries is at the moment of the Spring Equinox, when the days are equal to the nights. All of the cardinal signs, in fact, are so called because the next season of the year begins as the Sun enters them. There is, however, a similar system for the moon, of 28 mansions, each of just under 13 degrees, starting also with Aries. The Picatrix is what I’d direct you to if you want to read more about them specifically, especially since I haven’t used them in very much in practice.

The mansions were widely used in Arabic astrology, apparently quite often in electional astrology generally, not restricted to magic (as a side note, by all means study in the hour of mercury and treat-yo-self in the hour of Venus, even without magic. Tune into the rhythm). One mansion might be good for travel but could also cause strife between friends, while another might bring ill health but be good for buying livestock, that type of deal. It’s always worth checking if the time you have in mind for a Talisman happens with the moon in a favourable mansion for that purpose.

I will touch on this passingly because it really belongs in my next post, but if the moon is in a hard aspect with Saturn or Mars that can also be a bad omen for an election, although if the moon has good aspects or is particularly strong otherwise I would personally still do the thing because otherwise I would probably only do astrological magic once a year waiting for the perfect time.

Void of Course

This is something that frankly puzzles me to no end because half the resources I could find when I first looked into it clearly were using the phrase without having a clue what they meant, and the other half gave me a number of different definitions. I personally use the definition as given by the medieval astrology guide, whose site I’ll link at the end, because it makes the most sense to me.

All definitions of a Void Moon stem from the same basic idea, which is that the Moon will not perfect an aspect to another planet any time soon, sort of as if the moon is running in the dark on its own. The most common modern definition says the moon is void if it doesn’t perfect an aspect before leaving the sign it’s in, which basically means it happens every couple of days like Clockwork. I use a different definition (when I even remember to consider it) that is, the moon is not within orb of perfecting an aspect, without consideration as to the sign. So, by my definition, if the moon was leaving a sextile aspect with Saturn at say, 29 Aries, and was applying to a trine with Venus, even if it didn’t make a perfect trine before entering Taurus, the moon wouldn’t be void of course, because it was still in an applying aspect at the time. More broadly, I only consider a moon Void when it isn’t applying to an aspect (look into moiety for more on what I mean as far for more details on application). I encourage you to come to your own conclusions about this though, so don’t take my word for it.

[credit: Skyscript.co.uk]

A Void moon is generally bad for magic because to be literal the moon isn’t really doing anything much, at least as far as aspects go. That being said it isn’t something I look at unless I’m planning an important thing and I wouldn’t stress about it unless you were doing an important thing too. To be frank I often forget to even check what the moon is doing even for some slightly more important stuff.

And that is about it or what I wanted to cover, I think. The next post will probably be about Essential and Accidental Dignity, which was really what I wanted to write about in the first place, but here we are.

TL:DR

Time for the day of the planet

Time for the hour of the planet

Time for a waxing Moon

Avoid the Void moon

Some Useful Links/Sources (Some I didn’t even reference but they’re still good so I’m including them)

The Picatrix

www.sykscript.co.uk

www.Medievalastrologyguide.com

Secreti Geomantici (Great little geomancy book, also has useful things on timing. Thanks @nightjasmine for reminding me about it)

Hellenistic Astrology: The Study of Fate and Fortune, Chris Brennan (not about magic but this is just a great book on astrology overall, especially Hellenistic)

www.Rennaissanceastrology.com (I have issues with some of Warnock’s work, but his information is accurate and his site is great for these purposes)

 (Looking back I suppose I could’ve just made a post of resources but I’m in too deep now).

[haywitchhay]

Long post warning:

This is elaborating on the strange feeling or what I was calling "pokes" from my last post. I spent a few weeks, idk maybe 3, ignoring the feeling and eliminating all mundane possibilities before jumping into thinking it was a spirit trying to get my attention. I finally started the give in that this may be spirit so this morning, since I had some time, I set out to find some answers. I cleansed my space and cast a circle. Then I asked my *unnasigned/ community* pendulum if this indeed was a spirit trying to get my attention. The answer was yes. I continued as follows:

Is this one of my spirits? -no

Does this spirit wish me any harm or ill intent?- no

Is this spirit capable of communicating telepathically? Yes

Is this spirit honest and trustworthy? Yes

Should I approach with caution anyway? Yes *I ask this question as a red flag trigger question cuz ill always approach with caution when I dont know them and if the pendulum says no then i assume they are a tricky type of spirit*

From here I was finished with the pendulum. I reached out with my mind for my spirits, F, Iz, P and E to be sure they would have my back just in case. The response came from F "we are here hun. Never far away. E is still outside but ready to come at a moments notice. We will help you if you need." I'm so grateful for them ❤

So I begin to meditate and invite spirit to say something. Let them know that im here to listen. Eventually I get that weird feeling in the back of my skull that I get when having a telepathic conversation, so I say "hello, im *your favorite witchy cowgirl* how can I help you?"

.... hello.. my name is *R*, I have another but it doesnt translate..

"Ok *R*, nice to meet you, what can I do for you? I'm sorry it took so long to contact you"

.. its about time I was waiting forever..

"I'm sorry, I had to be sure and then i also have to keep my practice secret so i had to wait for the right time to attempt this."

... i understand..i was just curious. I was wandering around and noticed your energy and that there were other spirits here. I wanted to learn more..

"Oh yes, those are my companions."

..companions?..

"Yeah, im what some call a 'spirit keeper'. It isn't what is sounds like though, they are here of their own free will and are free to leave if they ever choose to without any hard feelings. I may be sad or miss them but they are their own beings and get to decide things for themselves. They are in my 'keep' because they choose to be and I do my best to take care of them. I give them offerings and spend time with them, as a group as well as individually."

...interesting. ive never known much of companionship. I was exiled from my realm for being a vigilante.. have been a nomad since..

"Sorta like batman?"

..i dont know who that is but I did crimes in the name of justice..

"So would you say you're somewhat chaotic but in a good way?"

... yes I like to cause mayhem but not for no reason.. ive been on many adventures..

"Very interesting. What are you, if I may ask?"

.. i am a lowland elf. My kind is much taller than yours. I have long dark hair, pale skin and my eyes are the color of grass..

"You sound beautiful. What about me caught your attention?"

.. your energy is different.. not like most of the other humans ive passed by.

"Different in a good way i hope"

.. yes not bad..

"Were you interested in companionship?"

...maybe.. i would probably want to roam as i have for so long. But its been a long time since I had a home..

"Well you seem nice. You're welcome to visit whenever you want so long as you don't disturb anyone."

.. thats very kind..

"What are things you like or like to do?"

.. i like justice and dark colored rocks. Or crystals that bring out the truth. The truth is the pinnacle of justice. I also like to forage, since my exile foraging has been my only way of survival...

"Thats cool. Ive been really interested in foraging for a long time. But im afraid that if I have nothing to give back I will upset the plant spirits."

.. you dont have to leave something for every thing you take, unless maybe in a sacred area. As long as you don't take all of something and you give thanks and respect they will not be upset. They know its their purpose and their part in the circle of life. Things live and die so that others can live and die. Give when you can and don't be greedy...

"That really inspires me to go out and forage more!"

.. great.

"Take some time to think about companionship. If you want a home and a place to come back to when you're done with an adventure dont be afraid to say so. Im pretty open to telepathy but if im out doing something you might have to get really loud to get my attention. We can bind our energies together so you'll always know where to find me. I will make you a place among the others where you can commune with us and rest, if you so choose."

..thank you. I will consider. Im not to sure I would want to be in one place for so long but I do get tired of being lonely and my work unappreciated...

"Well like I said you can do as you please. And around here we love a good vigilante. It'll be nice having someone to help me bring justice to those that try to wrong me."

*at this point my dog starts whining to go outside*

"I have to go now to take care of my animals. I appreciate talking with you and you being patient. I hope to talk to you again sometime soon."

.. likewise, farewell...

With that i closed my circle and started my morning choring. The *pokes* have ceased now so I know that wasn't in my head lol! I do hope he comes back. I get the impression that even though he's a tough vigilante that under that hes very kind and soft.

[dweetwise]

headcanon ask dump #1

instead of spamming 4365 posts with seperate hc asks i’m just gonna pile the ones i’ve received in the last couple of days into one post! i didn’t know yall would be so into sending me stuff! keep em coming <3

i def feel like some killers and some survivors could maybe possibly get along, eventually. i also feel like even if they are desensitized to the killing, the annoyance we as players feel are def present; like survs dislike killers for scummy tactics and some killers just genuinely learn to hate survs lmao. but really, how do you get desensitized to being carved open with a chainsaw?? the grudge for all the pain they've caused you isn't one to scoff at. especially since if the killers really wanted to, they could just hook you and be done with it, but instead all of them have opted to bring moris and stuff like sloppy butcher just to make you suffer. but i also think the killers aren't really themselves during a trial, taking into account things as the entity literally giving them bloodlust if they chase a survivor and don't hit them. i do think they enjoy the killing and do it without question, and only after come to and realize what they've done. for that reason I'm usually VERY picky about surv/killer relationships (and even friendships), the only killers i could see being somewhat “nice” or reasonable outside of trials are wraith, nurse, legion and maybe deathslinger. everyone else either likes murder way too much, or dislikes the survivors too much, or is too scared to defy the entity (bubba, adiris) or is just fighting to survive (hillbilly, huntress). but even then, not all survivors would go for it. i think jake, ace, nea, quentin, zarina, ash, steve are the right amounts of curious, stupid, and/or devil-may-care to go along with it. dwight, claudette, jane, cheryl, jeff, kate could be convinced. nancy and felix are a lil too stuck up. and meg, bill, adam, david, yui, tapp, laurie would vehemently fight against any killer/surv interactions.

i can totally see this! and i also think s/o would be the only one to be able to make him quit smoking. but on the other hand would they want to?? it’s one of the few joys bill has left and it’s not like smoking is the thing that’s gonna kill anyone in the realm.

bonus points if bill also knows this but he’s so certain that his s/o will make it out and doesn’t want them to keep smoking in the real world where it can actually harm them <3

absolutely!! and he totally punched every (male) surv he saw in his first trial, because he thought they were in on it with the killer. he still thinks is bs that he’s not allowed to fight the killers.

bonus hc that david managed to overpower frank once and was about to kick his ass and the entity had to intervene. frank wasn’t hurt but his ego was <3

ocd dwight was a pleasant surprise that i’d 100% write for if i was at all confident in my ability to portray mental illness ;w;

dwight is no doubt the entity’s favorite (along with trapper) and nobody can take that from me! he’s just a sensitive guy and probably feels everything super strongly, and yeah most of it is probably negative emotions :c

i’m,,, p sure i’ve read a fic almost exactly like this?? i’m also p sure it ended with ace narrowly dodging a harpoon when he got caught cheating which, accurate lmao.

also shh but one of my wips is ace and caleb (and a bunch of others) playing poker! but it ends... a little differently 👀

yup, this is it, this is the ultimate hc. this is how i always try to portray ace but idk if i’m successful but--yeah he’s flirty but they know he’s harmless and he’s way more like one of the girls than, y’know, a potential suitor.

also meg and nea have adopted him as their dad because i say so. (i main ace and my friend mains nea&meg and she always makes jokes about her character being like “ah yes, me and my gay dad running from a murderer again”)

[daesungindistress]

Oh wow chickbang have gotten so big! Is anyone a troublemaker? What are their personalities like?

No one is really what I would call a troublemaker. Barring some minor squabbles here and there, just pecking order stuff, nothing serious, nothing dangerous, everyone is getting along nicely. Yay! I suppose the only one I would have considered a troublemaker at any point was GD, who I... um... don’t have anymore.

I’ll put this one behind a cut.

This was my last photo of him. GD went to a new home back in July. New home, new harem. Months of trying to manage the feather picking by the other chickens that contributed to his baldness was just not working out, plus it eventually reached a point where I could not handle the constant crowing. He crowed all day long, every hour of the day from sunup to sundown. Hearing voices would set him off -- my voice, neighbors’ voices, visitors’ voices, whatever. And in the final few weeks I had him, as he reached sexual maturity and was becoming protective of “his” flock, he took to crowing nonstop any time I was around, only settling down when I would leave them and go back inside the house.

Roosters crow to announce their presence and establish dominance. He probably saw me as competition. Maybe even a mild threat? He never attacked me, in fact he always seemed to fear me (lol), but he was really ruining my enjoyment of my own chickens. He was beautiful and interesting but the little dude had to go. And while it was hard to go through with it, to finally do it after months of thinking about it, once he was gone, to be honest, I found I didn’t really miss him 🤷‍♀️

...because the very next day after I rehomed him I got my first egg! And that began a whole new “chapter” of Chickbang’s story. Within the next week several more hens had begun laying, and by the end of the month, all seven. I suspect GD was causing them stress and slowing down their development because he matured earlier than they did and was mounting and trying to mate with them before they were ready. All in all, they seem happier and more at ease as an all-female flock, and they’re friendlier and more attentive toward me now than they were before, probably because I’ve replaced the rooster as head of the flock. I’m happy with my decision. I’m also happy I kept and raised him for as long as I did because I feel I learned a lot about the physical and behavioral characteristics of cockerels/young roosters and will be better able to identify them at an early age in the future.

As for everyone’s personalities... gonna turn to bullet points for this one.

Dae

Is now something of a lap chicken despite wanting nothing to do with me when young. All on her terms, of course.

Quacks like a duck.

Very noisy, has a big voice just like her namesake.

Her breed (Buff Orpington) tends to “go broody” (mothering instinct kicks in and she’ll want to sit on a clutch of eggs and hatch them), and in August she actually went what I call “half broody”, meaning she would spend hours on the nest and would puff up and screech at other hens when they came near, guarding “her” eggs, even though the eggs she was sitting on weren’t actually hers. She didn’t spend all day there, however, which meant she wasn’t fully broody. I got into the habit of retrieving eggs from underneath her, gently. Thankfully, she never pecked me, just made unhappy clucking noises at me for the egg thievery.

Doesn’t bully Gwisun anymore, or anyone for that matter, so that’s good!

Bae

Gets a little nutty when she needs to lay.

Runs back and forth between the nests (I now have two separate structures inside the run that contain nests for the chickens, just giving them options and trying to cut down on the crowding), is extremely indecisive and kicks up such a fuss until she finally, finally settles on a nest she deems suitable.

Wrecks the nest before laying an egg in it.

Talkative, but that’s nothing new.

The only hen who I’ve never actually seen lay an egg... what’s up with that?

Is still curious about everything but doesn’t peck me anymore so that’s good (she tore my eyelid once, thanks Bae).

Is regularly dominated by Gwisun, which is a fairly recent development. Gwisun was always bottom of the pecking order but one day decided to have it out for Bae. They started out leaping in the air and bumping chests, but it wasn’t long before Bae was submitting, squatting when Gwisun stood over her, and just plain running away when she pursued her. Gwisun still takes it upon herself to reminds Bae who’s boss from time to time, chasing her and occasionally even mounting her!

VIP

Big Momma (not actually a momma, just big... biggest of them all)

Doesn’t handle the heat well and was the first to learn that standing in pans of water helped cool her off! Smart girl.

Lays large eggs.

Is pretty chill overall, takes most things in stride, not easily bothered.

Doesn’t sit back down on her egg after laying it or otherwise hang out in the nests any longer than she needs to. Does her thing and leaves pretty quickly afterward, which is great! It means I can collect and go if I happen to be out there with them when she does the deed.

Tabi (on the left)

Head hen (I think)

Seems perpetually ill-tempered, the sounds she makes are IMO a little grumpy. Kinda whiny? IDK. I get the impression that half the time I'm with them she's giving me the stink eye.

Pecks at my hand when I try to pick up feed off the ground to give to her. As a warning? It's not especially painful.

Is very businesslike about her egg laying. Gets in, lays her egg quickly, gets out.

Rarely sings the ���egg song” after laying. Is she not proud of her accomplishment?

Is extremely punctual and reliable when it comes to eggs. Lays at almost the same time every day, usually early. First in the nest, first out.

BB

Lay pretty blue-green eggs!

SHOUTS her egg song.

Is super sweet toward me. Funny, considering she was terrified of me when she was just a chick. She’ll hover nearby and stare at me quietly, and when I raise my hand, without fail, she squats submissively. Heck, all I have to do is look at her and she drops. So I pet her a lot. Why not? And she picks at my clothes gently, something hens are known to do to the feathers of roosters they like. I think she’s smitten with me lol

Is occasionally challenged by Gwisun but stands her ground.

CL

Also lays pretty blue-green eggs, but not as regularly as BB. I never really know when to expect eggs from her.

Tends to produce weak eggshells, might have a defective shell gland.

Sings the egg song often and quite loudly when other hens are laying, along with BB. Both my Easter Eggers like to flex their singing voices...

Aside from that, very aloof overall. Was friendlier as a baby but has become distant as an adult.

Not sure what else to say about her. She’s kind of... off in her own little world most of the time. She doesn’t interact much with me or the other hens.

Gwisun

Has changed the most!

Not the best picture, I know.

Egg song could be mistaken for a barking puppy, it's hilarious.

Is the best flyer in the flock. Has sailed clear over the fence a few times, meaning I had to chase her down and catch her. Since she started laying, however, has not attempted to escape again.

Surprisingly noisy... starts screeching 30 minutes to an hour before it’s time to let the chickens out in the yard each evening.

So much for Polish being a docile breed. Despite being a total pushover when she was younger, Gwisun is feisty these days. She still gets bossed around by some hens who are highest in the pecking order, such as Tabi and VIP, but she’s had enough of being bottom rung and seems to be working her way up.

Is my only white egg layer at the moment. Consistently lays 3 days on, 1 day off. We’ll see how long that lasts as the days shorten with winter’s approach.