#im an useless lesbian

[lutewife]

"Hate so passionate it blooms"

Chapter one - First Extermination

1752 words, fem!reader, reader is in hell for a reason, sinner!reader, reader is oblivious, canon divergence here and there, no NSFW in this chapter, angst, toxic yuri, canon-like humour

Crossposted on AO3: @YuriCameo

Warnings: blood, murder and all... It's extermination, duh. Nothing too bad though.

It all started years ago...

It was the time of the first extermination, since you opened your shop.

Noone in the pride ring liked it, obviously. And you just happened to live in it, being a sinner - flesh and blood. Your only source of income, your own sex shop, was there too. Very successful one to boot, since in Hell, let's just say, people really like these kind of things. And as weird as it was, your shop was top notch, being the most successful one in the Pride Ring. You swore you wouldn't leave it to destruction under any circumstances, because, well, you needed that money.

And you kept your word. Now you were standing in front of your shop, scanning the area and waiting for inevitable. Your employees, moved by your dedication, have also agreed to defend it. Ah, the deep connection between a demon and their sex shop. Truly touching.

You gripped your weapon tightly and, for who knows which time, looked around with watchful eyes. Turning to your employees, you managed to make a shaky smile appear. Someone in these difficult times must fake confidence, otherwise the fight is already lost - it was one of your beliefs and you had to fulfill it.

- It's okay, girlies. I don' see anythin' strange happening - you said trying to lift up the mood. -Y'know, maybe they were bluffing afterall! M-Maybe nothin's gonna happen! - you added, when you didn't receive any reaction from your employees, trying to convince yourself. Fearful faces of the other demons didn't went unnoticed by you, but you tried to ignore it for your own good.

Well, they were right to be afraid. Afterall, they were employees of a sex shop, not some angel hunters, for fucks sake! And the only person with some fighting knowledge was you, their boss who was almost shitting her pants under pressure and who probably didn't know shit about killing angels. Absolutely excellent position they were in.

Just as you were to say another one of your reassuring quotes again, it began. Everyone absolutely paralyzed, along with you, but you were the first to actually get yourself together.

- It's a-okay guys, there's no need to pani... - you didn't even finish the sentence. Most of your employees were already running for their own lives, screaming mercilessly, leaving everyone else and your shop behind. So much for teamwork.

You groaned and shot your middle finger at them.

- HOPE YOU KNOW, Y'ALL ARE FUCKING FIRED! - you yelled, needing to release your frustration. Hearing that, the others who were contemplating escaping, shrunk into yourself. Good. At least you'll have someone to sacrifice.

Many things were happening at the same time. You've seen buildings collapsing, demons panicking and fighting for their lives, even some of them kissing passionately on the verge of death. Geez. Dramatic much.

Deep down you were as terrified as them, though. If it wasn't for your money and kinky goods, you wouldn't give a damn and run away too. Unfortunately you needed to stay.

Just as you were focusing your eyes on the angel who was slowly approaching you, a commotion inside of you shop could be heard. Or maybe... Above it. You raised your head and couldn't believe your eyes.

There were thousands of downright identical exorcists descending from the sky, perfectly above your shop. You nearly had a heart attack (though you didn't actually have one) and shot a panicked glance to your co-workers through the window. Did they really have to send the second wave here?! Maybe you didn't think it over afterall.

Not even thinking about it, you moutched: "Run!". Your people gladly did so, screaming and shierking, causing even more commotion and the blood-thirsty angels to pay attention to them. You fought the urge to facepalm.

Great. Now it was happening.

The exterminators mercilessly murdered your employees one by one, while you were watching. Their sick and twisted faces (or maybe they were masks? you didn't really know) seemed even more happy than before. If you haven't seen that they descended from the sky with your own eyes, you would've thought they were demons.

You would be traumatised if not the fact that you've seen worse things. It's hell, duh. But nevertheless it wasn't a nice thing to witness and you definitely must act.

That's why you began to get your ass out of here. You ran like your afterlife depended on it (because it did).

While you were doing so, you heard something collapsing. Looking back, you saw your shop completely destroyed, with one of your employees in their huge ass demon form.

It was touching to see they were trying to defend the shop. But it was now completely destroyed, so...

- Goddamnit! I'm taking this outta your pay! - you said irritated.

You wanted to swear more, but suddenly a familiar voice could be heard.

- Boss! Here! - your best employee yelled, seemingly inviting you to their hiding spot. You let out a quiet cry of joy. Finally someone who is useful in this shithole. You started walking over there, but then in a blink of an eye...

From your cheerful employee's smile began spilling black blood.

You couldn't believe your eyes. There wasn't an angel here just a minute ago. And now she was standing before your dead co-worker, stained by their blood.

- They were a hellborn, you bitch! - you cried out, letting your frustration spill.

The exorcist looked at her clothing, just now noticing the mistake.

Something just snapped inside of you then. She wasn't even paying attention to people she killed. It wasn't an angel, it was a monster! With furious scream and swing of your weapon you ran towards the enemy.

But just as you hit her with it, the weapon broke against her head. You began to retreat with fear, but you were interrupted by the exorcist:

- There is no point in trying, sinner. You can't harm me - you could almost hear the feeling of superiority in her voice.

Something about the way she said it rubbed you the wrong way. You were now overflowing with the desire to fight.

- Oh yeah?! I won't believe you, until I... - you grabbed a spear, that was left in a dead body behind you - ...tRY!

You swung the weapon and to your surprise, this time, the exorcist dodged, almost getting hit.

Oh, so that's how things are...

Now it was your turn to smile triumphally.

- Hm? What was it 'bout being invincible? - you laughed and put a hand on your hip, swinging the spear on your shoulder.

The exterminator seemed furious, smile disappearing from her mask.

- You little BITCH! - she yelled, now preparing to attack you too.

But to her dismay you dodged skillfully and began a new set of attacks. You were fighting for a while, there was no end to this heated moment in sight. She even managed to injure you slightly, but fortunely you dodged just in time. Eventually, though, you managed to knock her over. The training you went on in your previous life was finally paying off.

You climbed on top of her, holding her wrists up and swinged the spear again, preparing to kill her, but... You aimed past her head.

- Oh, yeah! How could I forget. Let's see what disgusting face lies behind your little mask! - you said, wanting to enjoy the victory.

The exorcist looked even more furious than before, trying to move her head away from you. But she failed and you took it off slowly.

Oh.

Oh.

Her golden irises illuminated in the low light and short, white hair was messy from fighting beforehand. She looked furious, her eyes were narrow and on her pale skin there was a droplet of your own, red blood, that was spilling out of your injured hand. Some of the blood even managed to get into her (very kissable) lips. She spat it out at your face in anger.

You didn't even notice her saliva mixed with your own blood, which was flowing down your face, and just stared at her wide-eyed (possibly blushing).

- Happy? - her voice brought you to reality. It seemed even more attractive now that you have seen her face.

In a moment of inattention, you forgot that you weren't holding her wrists now.

Smirking, the woman took advantage of it and punched you in the face. Hard.

- OW! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! - you screamed and staggered, creating exorcist the opportunity to break free. And that's exactly what happened.

She kicked you down and then, as you were laying on the ground, then rose in the air, preparing to escape.

You, completely beaten up, just raised your head at her and yelled:

- Wait! What's your name?!

The angel just stopped in the air and looked back at you, with her pale face.

- Why the hell should I tell you? You disgust me - she deadpanned.

You thought for a moment.

- I-I, um, I know Lucifer! - You bluffed, desperate - I'll tell him you killed a Hellborn! Yeah! You fucked up! - That was a lie made up on spot, completely unbelievable. You even admitted it to yourself, prepared to fail.

The exorcist turned around and just as you thought she'll fly away, she spoke:

- It's Lute. My name is Lute.

What a nice name...

Wait! No! Disgusting! Very disgusting! What a horrible name!

- My name's [name]. Better remember it, you shithead! - you got up, staggering - From now on, you're my worst enemy! - you didn't even realize how silly that sounded then.

- Sure. Whatever you say, sinner. - She snorted, looking at you from above. The slight light reflecting off her halo added even more charm to her face. You couldn't help, but notice her long, beautiful eyelashes.

She was a horrible person. Really, she was. This "Lute", as she was claiming to be called, probably killed thousands of souls, before she killed your employee.

But you just couldn't help to wonder...

Why hadn't you killed her?

Notes: I'm sorry about any mistakes I've made or if my writing's kinda off, English is not my native language, so spare me please 🙏 The lack of Lute fics on here is a crime, I just HAD to write smth, even if it's not perfect. Also it will be multiple chapters and yes, there will be smut 😳. stay tuned, darlings ! 🫶

[nileaves]

I got no idea how to use tumblr help

[phoebeejeebies]

"it was queerbait" no babe it was just accurate to the way i acted as a 15 year old lesbian ‼️

[justaspaceagebachelorman]

im gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

tim called elias useless and a waste of a suit as an insult but somehow i feel like he would interpret that as a compliment. he would be like thank you tim that's exactly what i was going for :3

[os-eclipses-tamen-son-yuri]

I would never fight against her like ok whatever you say gorgus

[creepymutelilbugger]

kind of want a girl who is really good at handling spicy food to bring me to her favorite restaurant and keep feeding me different really spicy things until I'm crying but I'm doing really well and trying really hard and I keep going and I try everything and I'm melting but she says I did a good job and she gives me a really tight hug but i have to break away to blow my nose bc im crying bc of the food but then she hugs me again when im done

is that so much to ask ?????????

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

GUYS

How do you tell if someone is interested in you? Because I met this super cute boy who is so sweet and wanted to i volve me i the conversations and laughed at my jokes ans sat close to me and thought my random facts were interesting and split a cookie with me-

ASKS ARE OPEN

SO ARE REPLIES

Sos what do I doooooo

[fussypaws]

A little comic page I made about something that happened when I was out with my partner! I exaggerated it a bit for sillies :)

Patreon got to see it early!

--

https://www.patreon.com/fussypaws

[fuckyeahhannahwaddingham]

I never knew I needed to see Hannah Waddingham in a gold bodysuit until I saw Hannah Waddingham in a gold bodysuit.

[robotlcangel]

(Link to og post)

Cant say I like starscream being the villain I really was hoping that the main conflict of season two would be the mia autobots and newly released cons struggling to assimilate with humans and the non mia autobots, like there’s a real big disconnect between the two groups, and the Terrans are just in the middle of it, especially if the mia autobots sympathize with the decepticons and have an aversion to the active autobots, I really thought we would finally have a tf piece of media that would finally stop the “starscream is always destined for being evil” especially with how he has a connection with hashtag and genuinely cares for her, but no starscream is a probably gonna be a mid villain, the ONLY role where it would be interesting if star was the villain is if his schemes are against the autobots and especially megatron how how heavily persecuted the cons are and that they had to fight to barely survive especially if they didn’t want to be in jail, I just hope they do something interesting, like humans having civil unrest because cons are being “accepted” in to society and them protesting it, I would be even better if this persecution and fear mongering affected the autobots and Terrans. Also it literally make no sense for them to be attacking the maltos THEY LITERALLY JUST HELPED THEM FIGHT MANDROID, maybe starscream is having a manic episode or megatron did something to really piss him off

But if the evildoings of the cons is just them doing childish bs then I’ll gladly watch that

Also nightshade is not mentioned once all the rest of the malto kids are but not them

which if their by the wayside that will be really disappointing because imo they are like the most interesting Terran and the one who has the most opportunity for character growth, especially with how open minded they are, this either mean they become a minor character (which would just be bad writing and a wasted opportunity) or the become a decepticon, AND THEY TOTALLY SHOULD IT WOULD BE SO INTERESTING IF THEY WERE ISOLATED EVEN MORE FROM THEIR FAMILY BECAUSE THEY ARE A DECEPTCON, please con nightshade 🙏🙏🙏

(This will be them in season two)

Also also this seems like a very hashtag heavy season which I am very excited about especially because she’s has cool ass powers and she’s my second fav (nightshade will always be my number one ☝️☝️☝️🔥🔥🦅🦅) and I think why it’s hashtag centric season is because starscream is the main villain, and she’s one of like 5? People he likes and seeing someone she’s close too be all evil and shit will probably fuck her up even more.

So in conclusion all I wish for is for lesbian and decepticon nightshades, windblade(PLEASE), and for starscreams motivations to be interesting

The only thing I can do is be hopeful 🙏🙏

[avataraloy]

I will never get this thought outta my head that someone pointed out on Twitter….that Seyka’s cape looks like moth wings and Aloy is often called “Flame” (desert flame, flame-hair, etc) so Seyka is the moth attracted to Aloy, the flame

[gamergirl929]

Okay... But angry Alex Morgan though...

[lymooniee]

The Metamy ship to me is a queerplatonic relationship between a lesbian and someone who's non-binary. Thank you very much. Nothing can change my mind about my hc

[eldritchmochi]

the struggle of convincing a straight boy to date you when you vacillate wildly between looking like a scary punk dude and an equally scary but very pretty princess like buddy its fine i promise, its less that its gay and more a choose-your-own-adventure, itll be fun

[alicentsgf]

finding out someone you liked years ago liked you back might be the worst thing that has ever happened to any Me ever... i have the sudden lesbian urge to get on a plane.