#im not used to such modern engineering as of yet

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter XXIII: Bitter Tears and Broken Hearts

masterlist | playlist | prev. | pin | read on ao3 | read bee's diary

songs for this chapter: supercut by lorde, my oldest friend by have mercy, teenagers by hayley williams

chapter tags: dialogue heavy lore drop, you’re welcome!, angst, hurt/comfort (kinda?), mutual pining | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | REMINDER: THIS FIC IS RATED EXPLICIT. 18+ mdni.

a/n: i know it’s cruel to drop a flashback chapter after the events of the previous one… and yet im doing it anyway! ty wife for beta reading these last two chapters i love u

taglist @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality @munsonburn3r @justalotoffanfiction @bl0ssomanddie @eddiesgirl1944 @longlivedelusion @aliensfeltmyjoy @kissmyacdc

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—

May, Six Years Ago (four months before the arrest)

Bee:

“Tweety!” Eddie calls you from the end of the hallway, and you wave letting him know you’ve heard him. You take your English notebook from your locker, tossing it into your stuffed backpack. It’s the Friday before finals, the last of your high school career. Unfortunately, you don’t have that same hope for Eddie, who hasn’t once shown the motivation to even try at all in his classes this year.

“Hey,” He leans against the lockers next to yours. Much to your dismay, he’s not even carrying a textbook, let alone his backpack. “You ready?” It’s the end of the day, technically, but the bell has yet to ring signaling the official end of the day. 

“Yeah. Where’s your stuff?” 

“Ah, probably left it in Hellfire. Dustin can grab it for me.” Like it’s nothing. “You got plans tonight?”

“I’m hitting the library later with Robin, our English final is Monday.” You hoist your backpack onto your shoulder and follow Eddie out to his van. “You could come with us. I know for a fact you haven’t even looked at the book since it was assigned a month ago.” 

“Aw, Tweety. It’s like you know me or somethin’.” Eddie jests, nudging your shoulder with his. “I already got stuff planned, though. Chris and I are gonna hit up the shop, see what we can see. You should come.” 

“I have no desire to follow you both down the road of misdemeanors, believe it or not. Have fun, though. Don’t let Chris get you in more trouble than he’s worth.” You tug on the passenger door of his van while Eddie loops around to the driver’s side. 

“Not sure I can make any promises.” Eddie throws the car into drive, and peels out of the Hawkins High student lot.

—

Eddie:

He watches as you hop out of his van, and up the walkway to her house. Once you’re safely inside, he skirts off the curb, tires screeching as he makes his way to the body shop. 

“Ed!” Chris approaches him, wiping the motor oil from his hands with a goofy grin slapped on his face. “You’re never gonna believe what came in, man.” He motions Eddie into the shop, presenting him with the most beautiful machine ever to grace his presence. 

“No fuckin’ way.” He has to resist the urge to slide his hands across the hood. “Whose beauty is this?”

“That’s the best part. It’s Carver’s.”

Though Chris’s eyes are gleaming with a mad sort of eagerness, Eddie feels his heart skip. “Oh, dude, I don’t think I can go in on that with you.”

“C’mon, Ed. It is a ‘64 cherry red convertible. How’re you gonna pass this up?” 

“It’s the chief of police’s car, Chris.” 

“That’s just a bonus.”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose. “Let me sit on it, man. I gotta go, though. You comin’?”

“Yeah, gotta clock out. What’s the rush?”

“Got invited to a study date, it’s rude to show up late.” He wrings his hands, fidgeting with the metal on his fingers. 

“A date, huh? Who’s the lucky lady? Or man, I don’t judge.”

“I’m not answering that.”

“So I know them, then. Guess I’m comin’ with ya.”

“Chris. Please, just. Let me have this.”

“Lemme think…. Nope!” He tosses the oil stained rag onto the workbench and grabs his duffel. “Cmon, Munson, you’ve got studying to do.”

–

Bee:

You and Robin have been studying the symbolism of every single book you’d read in class this year for three hours.

“I’m tired of this, Robin!” You groan, head in your notebook.

“Well, that’s too damn bad!” Robin slaps your arm with her deck of flashcards. “Now, why is it important to note the lack of authority in Lord of the Flies?”

Before you can muster up the strength to answer, there’s a cacophony of laughter bursting in through the door, followed by a fed up Mrs. Beasly shushing them to no avail.

“There she is!” Eddie and Chris stroll through the tables full of miserable high school seniors, over to where you and Robin sit in the corner, surrounded by books, note paper, and highlighters of every color. 

“Shh!” You and Robin both spit at the boys as they drag empty seats out from the table, Eddie flopping down next to you while Chris sits across from Robin. 

“Sorry!” Eddie whispers, holding his hands up in surrender. “Figured you’d been here long enough, we came to rescue you.”

“We’ll have you know, dingus, that neither Bee nor I need rescuing from you.” Robin bites, flipping a notebook page so hard it rips. “Shit.”

“Of course, you don’t need it, but we figure you might want it anyway.” Chris refutes, snatching her notebook out of her reach.

“Come on, some of us actually care about graduating!” 

“Ouch, Rob.” Eddie clutches his chest in mock offense. “Didn’t know you were so elitist about grades.”

“She’s not elitist, she’s just a nerd.” Chris teases, and Robin’s face goes red with frustration.

“Can you both just leave? Please?” You shove Eddie away from you for emphasis. “We’ll be out in an hour. Just give us that, okay?”

“Ugh, fine! But we’ll be coming for you in exactly sixty minutes. Be ready.” Chris gets up, and looks to Eddie. “C’mon, man.”

“Right, one sec.” Eddie looks back to you. “You promise you’ll come out?”

You nod. “If you leave right now, I will come out with you tonight.”

He holds out his pinky, and you hook it with your own. Finally, he gets up, and follows Chris out of the library.

“Such a pain in the fuckin’ ass.” Robin mumbles, and you snicker.

—

Eddie:

Before he can think better of it, Eddie shoves Chris harder than necessary. “What the fuck, man?”

“What? That obviously wasn’t a date, that was my sister and her weird friend. I saved you from hours of unnecessary boredom! And, they’re gonna come out tonight.”

“Y’know, I am more than capable of making my own decisions about my own free time.”

“Clearly, that’s not true. Now, c’mon, we gotta go get the keg for tonight.”

“How are you gonna get the keg if you’re with me? I’m not twenty-one, remember?”

“Maybe not, but you’ve got two extra arms I could use. Stay in the car, I’ll get it. You’re just gonna have to help me put it in the trunk.” 

“Fuck you, dude. You’re gonna be the reason she never talks to me again one of these days.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure you can fuck that up all on your own.”

–

Bee:

You wish, desperately, that you hadn’t agreed to come out. The party is out at Lover’s Lake, and seems to be populated with every single delinquent in Hawkins. Unfortunately for you, this means your brother and Eddie are the center of attention. 

“Hey! You made it!” Chris approaches, red solo cup in hand with Eddie in tow. “You guys wanna drink?”

“Absolutely!” Robin snatches the empty cup from Chris. Before he can argue, he’s being pulled in another direction by one of his cronies, leaving you alone with Eddie.

“How’d you get stuck as the designated driver?” He matches your stride, falling into step as you follow Robin to the keg. 

“Didn’t really feel like waking up with a hangover tomorrow.” You shrug, taking a sip from the water bottle you’d brought with you. Eddie rolls his eyes. “What?”

“It’s senior year, Tweet. You gotta live a little bit.” He takes a swig of his drink and belches. You wrinkle your nose at the display. 

“I can live all I want when I get out of this Hellhole. So can you, Ed. You’re not like my brother, you don’t have to be stuck here forever.” You hadn’t meant to sound so distraught, but the crack in your voice makes you wince. 

“Chris isn’t stuck, Bee. He’s here because he wants to be. There’s nothing wrong with that, either.”

 It’s unbelievable how naive he is. “Why are you defending him? My brother’s a loser, Ed. You know it, too. I don’t get why you like him so much.”

“Can we stop talking about this for a second, please?” Eddie has raised his walls up, not willing to talk about anything that matters. “Just, try to have some fun, okay? For once?”

“Fine.” You snatch his drink from him, and gulp the rest of the lukewarm beer down your throat. “Fun enough for ya?” And before he can respond, you’re stomping off, into the woods, alone, only to stop to refill the cup.

–

“Tweety?!” You hear him before you see him, footsteps getting louder as Eddie ultimately finds you at the picnic table, about a mile away from the party. You’ve downed your second drink, and the trees around you seem to wiggle in the settling sun. You giggle to yourself, shaking with them.

 “Christ, Bee. You’re lucky it’s just me, you could be killed out here alone.” Eddie hikes up the incline, and sits across from you at the splintering table, now a home for the spiders and ants more than a place to sit. “You okay?”

“I’m great!” You say, definitely not great, but excessively intoxicated. You’re not used to drinking, so clearly you haven’t discovered your tolerance. Apparently, it’s pretty low. 

“Right, and I’m definitely buying that. What’s wrong?” He sounds like he cares, but you and Eddie haven’t been close in a long time, so you’re not sure you can trust your judgment of him right now. 

“Well, I’m wasted.” You avert his gaze, talking to your hands. “So don’t expect me to be gentle with you.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other day, sweets.”

“My brother sucks. He sucks so badly. And I love him, seriously.” Words are falling out of your mouth before you can think. “His heart is so big and he is so kind, but he is such a reckless person, Ed.” Eddie only stares at you, unblinking while you ramble on. “He’s careless when it comes to his safety. He looks for trouble. I don’t want you going down that path.” You have to press your lips together between sentences to keep from bursting into tears. “I can’t watch you throw your life away.”

“I can take care of myself.” He defends, crossing his arms over his chest, brow furrowed. 

“I didn’t say you couldn’t. You know I’m right, Ed. If you feel like hanging out with my moronic brother is the right thing for you, then that’s your choice. But you can’t blame me when all of it finally catches up to you. You can’t expect me to throw my life away, too.”

“Is this because of the library? Look, I wanted to come alone, but–”

“No,” You interrupt, shaking your head. “This isn’t about anything you did. I just know my brother. I know he loves you more than me, and it hurts like hell but I can’t do anything about it.” You’re not even sure you’re making sense, and Eddie isn’t giving you anything to work with. “I know he took my best friend from me, and he doesn’t see any issues with that. So now I’m here in the middle of the woods too drunk to tell that best friend that I am terrified of losing him.” Your voice cracks, and your resolve breaks. You catch your head in your hands as the tears begin to fall.

“Oh, Bee,” Eddie stands from his seat across from you, rushing to your side and wrapping his arms around you. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. You are still my best friend. The most important person in my whole entire universe, okay?” He kisses the crown of your head and pulls you closer, rubbing soothing circles as you cry into his chest while the crickets chirp in the trees.

–

Eddie:

“Go to prom with me.” It’s Monday, and you’ve just finished your first final of the week. You close your locker to see Eddie standing on the other side of it, a small bouquet of white daisies clutched in his shaking hand. He’s wearing a button down black shirt, and his hair is far tamer than usual. “Will ya?”

“What the hell are you doing?” You lean against the lockers, arms crossed with distrust. “Weren’t you the one that said prom was a scam? Built by ‘the man’ to trick kids into thinking we’re destined to have a perfect, fairytale night?”

Eddie only shrugs. “Maybe I am not immune to propaganda.”

“Why are you asking me? After all that shit I said on Friday, I figured I wouldn’t hear from you until you needed me to bail you out of jail.” It’s a mean joke, but you’re too upset to take it back. 

“You wound me.” Eddie pouts, offering the flowers to you. “But if there’s anyone I’d want to spend a miserable night making fun of everyone’s attire and the choice of music with, it’s you.” He gives you a half smile that never fails to make your stomach flutter. 

“Fine. I will go to prom with you. On one condition.”

“Anything you want.” His smile widens.

“You have to participate. No moping, no pranks, no bullshit. You have to lean into the fairytale. Just for one night.”

He groans dramatically, but ultimately decides against arguing with you. “Okay, fine. Deal.” Once again, he offers out his pinky, and you take it with yours. 

“Deal.”

–

Bee:

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror like it’s your job. You’ve been dressed for two hours, with your hair and makeup done as you pace around your bedroom, riddled with anxiety. 

“Can’t believe you convinced Munson to take you to prom.” Chris sits on your bed next to Robin, arms crossed as he watches you pace. “You must’ve hexed him or something.”

“Eddie used to like fun, believe it or not.” Robin spits, getting up to stop you from creating a literal rut in your floor. If anyone’s more sick of Chris than you, it’s Rob.

“He likes fun! Just, a different kind of fun.” Chris chuckles, swinging his legs up onto your bed in Robin’s spot. “You might like it, Bee. You too, Rob.” You roll your eyes, ignoring your brother’s instigation when the doorbell rings. 

“I’ll get it!” Robin scurries out of the room, leaving you alone with your brother. 

“You need to leave Eddie the fuck alone.” You look at Chris behind you in the mirror, and his eyes widen. “You’re gonna get him in fucking trouble, more than you already have.” You adjust the strap of your dress for the seventh time.  

“He’s a man, Bee. He can make his own decisions.” 

“And he’ll keep choosing you.” You turn abruptly to face him, to look him in the eye as you release your anger. “Because he looks up to you, for some reason completely unbeknownst to me. You’ve got him by the balls, and I need you to give my my fucking friend back.” You put as much venom behind your words as you can muster without ruining your lipstick. 

“I have absolutely no control over Eddie. He just likes me more than you. That’s why he hasn’t fuckin’ shown up yet.” You glance at your phone, and the time reads 7:45. He’s late, and you haven’t gotten a single text from him. 

“He’ll be here.” You mumble. “You, however, can get the fuck out.”

“Right, sure.” With that, Chris exits your room, and slams the door to his own. Robin returns with Steve, decked out in a slick black tux, next to her. 

“Sorry, I know I’m not the one you were hoping for.” Steve says sheepishly, but you wave it off. 

“No, but it’s just as nice to see you, Stevie.” You wrap your arms around him, and he hugs you close. “You look really good.”

“And you both look stunning. Can’t believe I’m taking the coolest girls to prom!” 

“Hey, you’re taking me. Bee has her own date.”

“Right, I forgot. Where is Prince Charming, by the way?”

You shake your head. “Pretty sure he stood me up.”

“No he fuckin’ didn’t.” Steve frowns at you. “He’d be the biggest imbecile in the world.”

You shrug. “Stranger things have happened.”

—

Eddie:

He’s been staring at himself in the mirror for the last hour. His navy blue suit is too small, jacket tight around his arms, cuffs not reaching his wrists. He feels stupid, and he’s certain he’ll look just as such standing next to you in a pretty dress. Everything feels wrong, he’s sweating, and he can’t convince himself to leave the house. The corsage he’d bought for you taunts him from his desk top.

He’d also gotten the news today that he wouldn’t be graduating this year. He failed three of his six finals, and had to repeat his senior year. Needless to say, he was not in the mood to party.

“Ed?” Wayne calls from the kitchen. “You almost ready? It’s impolite to keep your date waiting!”

“Wayne, I don’t think I can go.” Eddie mumbles, but Wayne still hears it because his footsteps are already approaching.

“What the hell do you mean?” He stands there, arms crossed in the doorway to Eddie’s room. “You said you had a date and everything!”

“Maybe I lied.”

“Why would you lie?”

“To not seem like such a goddamn loser! This suit is not helping with that, though.” He stretches his arms out in front of him, causing the sleeves to ride up higher on his arms. “I’ll just disappoint her anyway.”

“Then that’s her loss, son. Whoever this girl is, she’d be lucky to go to prom with you.” 

“I don’t think you’d be saying that if you knew who I’m supposed to be taking. Which is why I will not be sharing that information.”

Wayne frowns. “Are you sure you don’t wanna go?”

Eddie sighs, flopping down on his bed. “I can’t. She’s gonna be so mad at me, but I can’t do it.”

“You’re gonna have to make it up to her, then.” Wayne motions for Eddie to get up, and he does. Wrapping his arms around his nephew, he says, “I’m sure she’ll understand, but you should call her.”

—

Bee:

“Bee, please!” The knocking has become insistent. “I’m so sorry, please let me explain!” You’d gone to prom alone. Well, with Rob and Steve. You’d been lucky enough to have fun, despite the ache in your heart every single time a slower song would play. You’d had no one to laugh at the jocks with, no one to pretend to be miserable with. No slow dance partner. Eddie has now been standing outside your house for three hours, wearing a suit a size too small, wilted flowers in his fist. 

“Go away!” You shout from your bedroom window. You’re still in pajamas, the makeup from last night smeared on your cheeks from crying yourself to sleep. “You promised me, Eddie! I have nothing to fucking say to you.” 

“I’ll stand out here ’til you run away to school, baby. You can’t get rid of me.”

“I will literally call the fuckin’ cops.” You practically spit out your window. “Go home.” 

“Call ‘em! I’m not goin’ anywhere until you talk to me!”

You groan, slamming your window closed before rolling back into bed, face shoved in your pillow.

—

Eddie:

He’s about to give up when your front door opens. It’s not you he’s met with though, just your brother with a sour look on his face.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Trying to apologize to your sister.” Eddie fiddles with his hands. “How mad is she?”

“She’s pretty pissed, man. Probably for the better, though. Not like you’d wanna be there anyway.”

Eddie sighs, climbing into the van and slamming his door. “That’s the thing, Chris. I did want to be there. With her. And I fucked it all up.” He cranks the radio down as he speaks, the sappy love ballad fading into background noise. 

“She’ll forgive you, man. You guys are best friends, there’s no way she’d hold that grudge.”

Eddie shrugs sadly. “I don’t think I can take your word for it.”

Chris walks around the van, hopping into the passenger seat before Eddie can object. “Okay, so don’t. Let’s go blow off some of this steam. But first, maybe change you out of this ridiculous attire?”

Despite himself, Eddie chuckles, throwing his van into drive and peeling out of your driveway, taking one last look at your closed bedroom window. 

–

It’s been a week, and Eddie hasn’t made another move to contact you. He’s stared at his messages between you, wondering what he could even say to fix all of this. 

He types and deletes:

> can we talk?

“Ed?” Robin approaches him in the hallway on the last day of school. “Good to know you’re alive. You doin’ alright?” Her kindness is unexpected.

“No, not really. I have to repeat my senior year.” He hands her the slip with the news on it, after finding it in the back of his notebook. 

“Shit, Eddie. That blows, I’m so sorry.” She takes the sheet from him to skim it. “They couldn’t even offer you summer classes?”

He shakes his head. “Apparently they are ‘not confident a retest would make a difference.’” He snatches the paper back, crumpling it before tossing it into his mess of a locker. “On the bright side, though, I have no reason to clean this out.” He slams the locker door before turning back to Robin. “Don’t tell Bee, okay?”

“She’s gonna find out when you’re not walking at graduation. Or Chris will be the one to tell her, and I don’t see how that’s a better option.” 

“I’ll tell her, I just need some time. She hasn’t even looked at me since prom.”

Robin stops walking.“What happened there, by the way? She was really excited to go with you.”

He sighs, staring at his shoes. “I’m a coward. I freaked out, and I couldn’t bring myself to even explain it to her. It’s probably for the best, though. She deserves way more than I can give her.”

“Are you in love with her?”

The question startles him. “What?”

“Are you in love with Bee, Eddie?”

“I– where did that come from?”

“Well, you asked her to prom for one thing.”

“As a friend!” 

“Right, totally. You two are the most platonic people I’ve ever met. That was proven by the way she acted when you stood her up.”

“How did she… what do you mean?”

She sighs. “You can’t tell her I told you, but she was distraught. She hid it really well, but I could tell she missed you. Every time there was a slow song, and especially when they announced the court. It broke my heart to watch her mope.” 

“She’s never gonna forgive me, is she?”

She shrugs. “You won’t know until you try.” 

Eddie shakes his head, confused. “Why would she?”

“Because, dingus, she loves you. You’re her best friend. As much as I’ve been fighting for the title these last four years, you’ve earned it, until recently. She feels like she’s losing you. I shouldn’t be telling you any of this, but I’m getting tired of you two tiptoeing around each other.”

It stops him, cold. He’s been distant, he knows that. Mostly because he’d been trying to suffocate the less-than-platonic feelings he’d developed for you since high school started, but also because of your own brother. He’d been swept up in Chris’s chaos, leaving no room for the relief, the calm, you’d brought to him. His eyes stung, the more he thought about it. “Now go fix it, dummy!” Robin shoves him playfully, but still hard enough to make him stumble. “You gotta go tell her something. Clean up this mess you’ve made, yeah?”

Eddie nods, backing away from her, down the hall. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Tell her to call me when she gets home!”

Eddie scoffs before turning heel and jogging down the hall, off to find you.

–

Bee:

“Can we talk?” Eddie’s voice makes you jump. 

“I have nothing to say to you, Eddie.” You’re about to leave Hawkins High for the last time, but you don’t have that sense of excitement you thought you would. You feel empty, and a little lonely.

“Okay, fine. I’ll talk, I just need you to listen to me.” If not for the break in his voice, maybe you could have resisted his begging. “Just let me explain.”

“Fine.” You turn to face him, immediately wishing you hadn’t. His eyes are wet and puffy, like he’d spent the last day of school hiding in the janitor’s closet crying. He leads you to his van, parked in the back of the senior lot, away from everyone else. He opens the back doors, making room for you to sit next to him amongst the old blankets in his trunk. 

“First, I wanna apologize. I am so goddamn sorry about prom, I know nothing I say will be enough of a reason to earn your forgiveness.” You don’t say anything, just twiddle your thumbs in your lap, waiting for him to continue. “I got told that day that I failed senior year. I’m being held back.”

That makes you look at him, your heart sinking. “What?”

“Yeah. Looks like I really am gonna get stuck in Hawkins.”

You shake your head. “No, you won’t. You’ll be okay, Eddie.”

“Not without you, I won’t be. You’re goin’ to New York, right? So I’ve got, like, three months left before you forget about my existence?” He sounds so broken when he speaks, each word a stab to your heart. “And I guess maybe that’s another reason, subconsciously, that I bailed. That was supposed to be our last night as Hawkins High students and instead it was a reminder that I’m getting left behind.”

You twist your body towards him. “Just because I’m leaving the state doesn’t mean I’m leaving you. You are always gonna be a part of my life.”

“Even after I stood you up?” He looks at you with big, hopeful eyes. “Because I’d understand if that was a deal breaker.”

You shake your head. “It’ll take a lot more than standing me up to get rid of me. I just wish you’d called or something.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, I should have.”

You scoot closer to him, wrapping your arms around his midsection, causing him to stiffen slightly before relaxing into your touch. “You are my best friend, regardless. You’re gonna be okay. I’ll be home during the holidays, and I’ll call you to help you study. You can come out to visit me on weekends, if you want. Tons of pretty college girls and boys to make you swoon.”

Eddie chuckles sadly, wrapping his arms around you. “I love you, Bee.”

“I love you too, Ed. Let’s go home.”

—

Eddie: 

He’d meant it. In every sense of the term, he loves you. He’s not sure you’ll interpret it that way, but for now saying it feels like enough. You’re sitting next to him on the couch of his trailer, shoulder to shoulder as the TV flashes with some movie on cable. The window AC unit hums to little avail, the trailer still stuffy from the heat outside. 

He’s focused on your profile, the way your smile twitches when something funny happens on screen. You toss popcorn into your mouth absentmindedly, eyes glued to the television.

“What are you staring at, Munson?” You aren’t even looking at him. “I can feel you staring.”

“What? No I’m not!” He slaps his hands over his eyes. “Can’t see a thing!”

Your giggling makes his heart slam against his ribs. “You’re such an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot, right?”

“Obviously. My own personal, limited edition idiot.”

“One of one sold.” He moves his hands to find you looking at him now, eyes big and sparkly, he could drop dead if he looks too long. “Extremely rare.”

You blush bright red, and Eddie’s sure his own cheeks match. The next words you say are barely audible, but he’ll never forget them. “Guess I just got super lucky.” Before he can react, you plant a kiss on his cheek, and turn back to the movie like nothing happened.

Meanwhile, the feeling of your lips on his skin will be seared into his memory for the foreseeable future. 

[showfallmediacameracrew]

Spoilsport (￣ヘ￣)

i suppose a cyborg would only be able to gain enjoyment or understanding of other humans by watching other people, as though they were a convoluted play, where people could mess with the lives of those performing.

[pontmercysamis]

unpopular interpretation? regarding bway vs west end gabe goodman.

okay, im seeing a lot of posts comparing aaron tveit and jack wolfe as gabe, and the differences in their portrayals. a lot of people are chalking it up to jacks being more of a sad ghost, and aaron’s more of a malicious manifestation, which i don’t disagree with! however, i have always regarded gabe in both lenses since i first heard the show, so it was suprising to me that this was the interpretation. instead, i thought it had to do more with how times have changed since 2008 regarding male main characters. more under cut.

because next to normal takes place in the “modern day” i don’t think most of us think of it as a dated show, but visually, it most certainly is. in the original production, gabe spends most of the show in those y2k cross shirts, diana is almost entirely in skirts and tights, natalie is DEFINITELY a by-product of the “not like other girls” era (i can make a post on this, too)

but we know the relationship between diana and gabe is played some what as oedipal, because he’s an extension of herself. gabe is like the first victim of the draco malfoy affect. he’s evil? …but he’s hot! that’s why he pole dances!

in 2008, every love interest in a rom com was six feet tall, absolutely jacked, and possessive? this is the era of chad michael murray and singing at girls. this is the era of rom coms where every couple should’ve been in therapy. because we’ll never know what gave really would have looked like, he gets to be perfect! and possesive! and on the football team! because this was what was considered hot in 2008. it’s why aaron is in his boxers.

in 2025, the family dynamic is much more relaxed. diana wears jeans, because she’s a millennial and a mom and that makes sense. natalie gets to have fun outfits, because her wearing tights has nothing to do with how smart she is. but gabe? we don’t find men pushing you around hot anymore, thank god. so what is? the white boy of the month!! gabe isn’t possesive because that would scare the audience. there’s a world, for one, would become so much scarier. instead, he’s the white boy with the curly hair and the grandpa sweaters, perfectly engineered for the fangirls to make uwu edits about him, as they already are!

in order to understand diana’s grief and depression, one has to understand why gabe is compelling. why would we want to feel sympathy, want to root for him? and the quickest subconscious way to do that is visually. in 2008, it’s aaron with no clothes on. in 2025, it’s jack and the close ups on his eyes. and yet, they both manage to do the opposite as well. jack is genuinely scary to dan in im alive and i am the one. aaron is soft to diana in i dreamed a dance/there’s a world. it’s both at the same time, and two amazing performances!!

in this house, we love gabe goodman, for all the weird and fucked up that he is.

[cheriladycl01]

hiii 💕

If possible I was wondering if I could request a fic where the reader (f) is a driver and gets in an accident but due to her parents not supporting her racing they aren’t there when she gets in an accident and the grid comes to visit her (seb included) and help/comfort her when she gets out, (eg, when she gets home and feels lonely, they come over and comfort her and it’s like a big sleepover) and it’s just full of grid family bonding :)

Not alone - Grid x Driver! Reader

Plot: you get into one of the worst crashed of modern formula one and you think no one’s come to see you but you are sorely mistaken

Your mind flashed with images of the sparks in the car and the tarmac in line with your vision but flipped, the sound of engines pummeling past you and the gravel flicking up for an final almighty crash of metal clanking and wheels popping off.

Your eyes opened pain rushing through your body as your consciousness came back to you. You felt like your body had been tossed and turned and put through a tumble drier that had metal spikes in it and the heavy weight on you chest was proof of that.

The light had you blinking as you tried to open your eyes and gather your surroundings. Your ears picked up on the beeping and the tingling throughout your body dulled leaving the feelings of various tubes and wires attached to you.

You realise you are in the hospital.

The raw memories come back of the crash you'd gotten into making you realise the position you were probably in right now. You open your eyes fully seeing the Japanese hospital you were in. You use the button to lift yourself up a little no doubt alerting some kind of medical staff to your awakening.

No-one was in the room. Just you and your silent thoughts which felt ... awful and lonely.

You thought your parents would be here considering just how bad the crash was. It was one that you knew was a 50/50 toss of whether you came out of it alive or not.

A nurse came into the room, a gasp of shock before she runs out again. She comes back in with someone who looks like the doctor.

"Hello, Y/N! I'm your doctor! Here have some water" he offers. He was Japanese but thankful you had someone able to communicate to you what actually happened and where your health stood.

You take the cup handed to you and slowly sipped on it, hoping that the scratching feeling in your throat leaves.

"Thank you. Did you phone my emergency contact? Its my mum? Are they here my parents?" you ask the doctor who sadly looks down at the chart.

"How about we talk about you and your health first Y/N you were in quite the crash" the doctor advises and you try sitting up. The doctor rushes forward to help prop you up a little more.

"Please i just want to know if anyones going to be here for me" you ask and he frowns.

"We called but they said they werent able to come out here that last minute. But lets talk about your health and what is going to happen going forward yeah?" he asks before you nod sadly and listen to everything that was broken, bruised or torn.

Your interrupted hearing muttering voices outside with a mix of a few japanese voices quickly yelling.

"Let me just go check whats happening" the doctor says before leaving out the wooden door. He closes the door met with Yuki the only Japanese F1 driver, talking too three of his nurses, specifically the ones caring for you.

Yuki seems heated, while the others just watch him communicate on their behalf.

"I'm guessing your here to see Miss Y/L/N?" he asks looking at all the drivers who nod their heads.

"She's really beaten up and she cant move too much yet but i think she needs some familiar faces where her parents have refused to come see her. So you guys can come in, and four of you can stay for the night but thats it!" he says and they nod before arguing who would get to stay for the night.

"Well im the only one who can speak the language in this hospital so you'll need me!" Yuki argues.

"Okay but I'm the closest to her" Lando argues.

"We're like her parental figures" Seb and Fernado argue.

"Guys why dont we just let her choose?" Lewis asks and everyone goes silent in agreement.

They enter the room seeing their friend looking out the window.

"Oh! You guys are here!" you say happily leaning up, holding your stomach as your ribs twist in pain and you grimance.

"Hey try not to move too much. I'm going to go but ... well you have more than enough people here to look after you!" he smiles and walks out the room.

"We've all been so worried about you! That crash was crazy!!" Pierre said first.

"Mmmm everyone else involved got out of their car and walked away fine, but where you flipped and ... well i think we've all seen the footage!" Lewis offers. You shook your head, as you hadnt seen the footage and you didn't really know if you wanted too.

"Mmmm i havent i didn't wake up too long ago. Not sure im ready to see it yet actually. I'm not sure im ever ready to look at my phone yet" you sigh, glancing at it on the side cabinet next to the hopital bed.

"Yeah, maybe best to stay away from that for a little, just if you don't want to say the crash" Lando smiles moving the phone a little further away.

"Bottom line is were glad your okay! And if you up for it some of us can stay here for a sleepover, your choice who" Seb smiles to you and your eyes roll not wanting to be the one that has to decide.

"Come on, we wont get upset at who you choose!" Lance offers with a grin.

"Fine, Yuki is staying and you all know why. Seb can stay to keep an eye on everyone else. Then the last two, Lando for the laughs and Esteban to pick the movie" you offer you explanation and they all nod.

The others eventually leave when they are kicked out by the doctor who comes to give you some check up's. Seb and Yuki go out to go get you some good healthy food while begrudgingly Lando and Esteban stay and entertain you, not with a little squabble about what film you were all going to watch.

You guys all ate together once Yuki and Seb came back with it and continued to talk about the next race that you obviously wouldn't be competing in, but was excited to see who won.

As you gazed around at them, laughing and engaging in things they knew you liked and when you thought back to them earlier the upset and devastation you felt for your parents not being here you realised how insignificant it all was.

This was your family.

And they were all you needed.

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[unknownati]

xii. never lose me

a/n: (i lost the ask so sorry to that anon, hope u still find this 💀 but the ask was like: can you make a fic based off never lose me by flo milli? with smut)

happy new year my loves!

sorry this took so long im such a slow writer. plus im braindead asf. ik i said i had to proofread this in my last post but i lied i didnt 😬

nooobody ask me where he got all this money cuz baby idk. i hope some of this stuff is correct bc i am not rich 😭

warnings/tags: smut 👻, fem!black!reader, no use of y/n, no desc of reader's physical features BUT reader dresses feminine (think aliyahsinterlude), modern!ekko, boat sex yay, semi-public(?), risky, backshots 🎉, oral (e! recieving), reader getting spoiled, soft dom!ekko, so loosely inspired by the song, not proofread. raw vibe

_______________________________________________

ekko goes above and beyond treating you right.

anything you want, all yours. that new purse? check your mailbox. you need your nails done? here's $300, keep the change, don't worry about it. he always makes sure you're pleased, even if you don't ask. he knows everything about you by heart. favorite flowers, favorite foods, plus your usual orders, so it's not uncommon to come home to food on the table with a fresh vase of florals seated next to it.

of course, nothing about this relationship was ever one sided. there is no one who prances around announcing that ekko is your man quite like you do. you make sure ekko knows that if he ever needs you, no matter what, you're there.

in return, you get whatever you want.

"ekko," you sing, putting your phone down in the cup holder. your hand rests over ekko's, which has a gentle grip on your thigh. crickets chirp outside, veiled beneath the dark sky and lack of light. you're speeding down an empty backroad on your way back home from a little shopping spree at a mall an hour and some change away. "i wanna go somewhere."

he hums. "where were you thinking?"

"dunno yet," you lean your weight onto the center console, maybe somewhere in asia."

"yeah?" he asks, squeezing the fat of your thigh. you smile wide. "sure. let me know when you decide."

"i will, thanks baby," you chirp, gently pulling his hand up your thigh and closer to your center. his fingers catch on the hem, pushing your denim skirt up and gently pressing his thumb into your clit. he's rubbing featherlight circles into it, running over the lacy underwear he bought for you a while back. your gasp is barely heard beneath the music.

the engine whirrs, and you see the speedometer shoot up.

so impatient.

.:*☆

it truly didn't take long for ekko to book that flight. you said the place, and about 30 minutes later everything was set in stone.

excitement rushed through your body as you packed, making sure to tuck your matching sets beneath your clothes. he deserved some type of reward, right?

when you finally arrived at your hotel, late into the night, jet-lagged to all hell, you couldn't help but ask ekko if he needed some help. he did everything, all you did was walk around, complain about your feet hurting a bit, and cling to his arm. regardless, he insisted you worried about nothing and just got comfy for the night because he had something big planned tomorrow.

never would you have ever guessed that you'd end up on a cruiser yacht.

he had you blindfolded after you returned to the hotel from eating and shopping, promising that you'd love it and that you just needed to be patient and trust him. you did; no hesitation there.

and once he slipped it off after your minor freak-out wondering what you're stepping onto that has to be so wobbly, it took your breath away.

the sun sinks below the horizon, yellow rays glittering off of the water. your hands met his, perched on your hips, looking back to find his prideful grin.

"ekko..." you pout.

"iii know, i'm a great boyfriend, you love me, i know," he jokes, chuckling as you walk around the cockpit, marveling the fact that you're on one. "it'll leave soon, there's a cooler with drinks, and i can take pictures for you."

you smile wide. "my personal photographer. in fact, take some of me right now before the sun sets," you rush to hand him your phone, quickly posing yourself in front of the scene.

ekko took taking photos for you so seriously, genuinely telling you how to switch your posing and expression, and without missing a beat always hyping you up to the third degree.

so when you heard nothing from ekko, no 'oooh's or 'mhm's, you turned to him.

"ekko?"

"sorry, you're just..." he laughs sheepishly, avoiding your gaze as if he wasn't the key to your heart. "so pretty."

you roll your eyes. "you're so corny."

the tone of your voice completely betrayed your words, honeyed and bashful. he catches it, shaking his head and raising the camera again.

"right—okay, let's try this again."

.:*☆

the pictures came out great. you wanted to wait until you got home to pick your favorites to post, but all of them were so good that you didn't know which one to pick.

you leaned against the railing, staring out into deep night, city lights twinkling in the distance. the cool sea breeze rushes against your skin, the salty scent of the ocean flooding around you. it was too good of an opportunity to not take more.

"ekko, take a few more for me?"

he hums, not a moment of protest, finding your phone and settling into the seat opposite of you.

you take your seat as well, your torso twisted and legs crossed. his mouth opens—'move your leg a little' rests on his tongue, until he inspects your gaze through the phone. you weren't quite looking at the camera, but rather...behind it.

"you okay?"

you nod. "yeah...you look good as fuck over there."

he fumbles over his words for a moment, looking down at his attire. "in my spiderman shirt?"

"mhm, especially in your spiderman shirt," you look him up and down, eyes sliding over his muscles. "come back over here real quick?"

he's surprised he didn't trip from how quickly he scrambled over to you, sitting in the seat beside you. his smile is poorly hidden as you crawl into his lap. his hands find your waist, pulling you closer.

you direct his face up, fingers gently pushing at his chin, leaning down to lock your lips together.

his hands roam your body—clearly too impatient—fingers pushing beneath your shirt, pulling up and revealing your bra. intricate lace, almost in a floral pattern, dyed a dusty pink that was barely visible under the moonlight. the cups had a deep cut, plunging down from your collar bone to the bottom of your sternum with a dainty little decorative bow.

you literally feel him getting hard. he looks up, fingers running along the band. "this for me?"

"sure is." you nod, reaching down to tug your skirt down. the hem of your matching panties peek out. "you like 'em?"

"do i?" he glances above the short barrier at the captain, who isn't paying an ounce of attention. just humming in his own world, only focused on the path they were going on. perfect.

"shit..." his lips reconnect with yours before trailing down, sucking hickies into your skin, tightly squeezing your thighs, brows furrowing.

you can already tell he's going to find a way to seat you right on his face so you stop him—not because you don't want that, but you've been spoiled enough for one day—pushing his shoulders back and getting off of him.

he looked like a kicked puppy when you separated from him and you just roll your eyes, sinking down onto your knees with a wide smile. it all connects for him and he relaxes against the seat, lips parting as you quickly unbutton his pants, your nail hooking at the band of his trunks. you tug, down, down, down, until his dick springs free and lightly taps his naval.

you waste no time, your lips meeting the base, then parting to let your tongue run up a vein that lead you to the sensitive tip.

ekko shivers, eyes shifting from the arch in your back to your lips, leaving glossy stamps all along his length.

you, on the other hand, kept your eyes locked onto his. he kept averting his gaze. for what, you weren't sure. but you tapped his tip against your tongue, capturing his attention. finally, his eyes meet yours. now you feel like you can continue.

you kiss the tip again, smiling up at him as you allow it to breach your lips, sliding into your mouth agonizingly slow.

"fuuuck," he drags, watching you slowly sink down, taking almost all of it yet stopping where your lips met your fingers.

you get acquainted with the feeling, adjusting your tongue to press against the skin. your cheeks hollow, your head slowly falling into a bobbing movement, stroking him alongside your movements.

he struggles to not thrust straight up into your mouth, gripping the edge of the leather cushions. one hand meets the back of your head but doesn't push or pull, just rests there.

his hips twitch, torso relaxing against the back of the seat, growing rigid whenever your tongue ran across just the right spot. his chest rises and falls rapidly, quickly drawing in breaths then moaning them right out.

your jaw already started to ache, but looking up at him as he falls apart from just your mouth is beyond worth it. he shakes his head, eyes leaving yours, squeezing shut, and you can tell he's already close.

his hand leaves your head, forearm laying against his forehead. you tap him, a reminder. look at me. he peeks down, a breathy chuckle pushing through.

"doin' so good for me, yeah? 'm close—" he warns you—you nod in acknowledgment.

you unhinge your jaw, sticking your tongue out so he can watch his cum spill all over it,

he sucks air in through his teeth, and before you know it you're bent over the seat, looking out onto the horizon. you start to speak and he just shushes you, tugging your skirt up and pulling your panties to the side. soaked.

maybe you were just too impatient, because before he could even get comfortable you were reaching back to put it in. his laugh rings behind you, shooing your hand away so he can finish sinking all the way inside you.

his pelvis meets your ass and you almost caught a glimpse of the back of your skull. he started slow, gripping your waist and bringing you back to meet his strokes.

you're squeezing around him so tight, and all he can do is stare in awe at it. his length glistens, coated in your juices. then he couldn't take it, his pace quickening, watching the fat of your ass recoil against his movements.

it feels euphoric, almost unreal. staring out into the night sky, stars twinkling above you, ocean swaying below you, and ekko thrusting into your heat, moaning behind you—it was overwhelming, it had your flesh running hot.

"feels good?" he questions, though your gasps and mewls answer loud and clear.

"fuck, yes."

"mhm, you're mine, right?"

"a-all yours." you nod.

"all mine?" he asks, and it's rhetorical. not like you could reply anyway, because your moans caught in your throat, rendering any chance you had at words useless.

your noises drowned beneath the whirring of the motor paired with the water swaying beneath you, which you're endlessly grateful for. you're lucky that driver pays almost no attention to what's happening behind him.

you were especially loud, and it only got worse as you felt your orgasm building. ekko knew it too, the way your voice shook, the way you tightened around him, the way you begged him not to stop—it was pushing him over the edge too.

"fuck, that's it. just like that. i got you, okay? good."

your cries overlap ekko's softer groans as you came, your form trembling, jolts of pleasure coursing throughout your body as he fucked you through it.

he had to hold back from coming inside you, letting you ride out your high before pulling out to release all over your back.

he gives you no time to recover, immediately diving in for another round, intoxicated with the way you gasps caught in your throat, holding onto the seat for dear life.

he leans down, his lips meeting your shoulder, his brows furrowed. it did not take long for the two of you to get close again, still sensitive from your previous release. within a few minutes, your juices coat his length and another load lands on your back, seeping down and settling into the dip of your spine.

you're both catching your breath, ekko presses a kiss to the shell of your ear, and you have to stop him from kissing you more. "we're almost there," you hiss, and he huffs, lifting off of you to get himself together,

thank god there were paper towels on board. he cleans his release off of your back and skirt, managing to get the both of your appearances together by the time the yacht met the docks.

the moment the captain comes back to thank you for riding with him, ekko's giving him the quickest thank you possible along with his tip and rushing you off of the boat.

"let's get back to the room? i just wanna see that set you have on a little better."

you know that the second that door closes behind you in the hotel, there is not a chance you'll be stopping.

__________________________________________

pssst!: not the most confident in this one.,. i will make up for this one i swear 😔 locking in!

maybe a part 2 with what happens at the hotel cough cough

[loverstrings]

Project Spindle (Chapter Five) - Established Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

As tensions rise and new intel surfaces, the team regroups to confront a hidden threat tied to Y/N’s past. With trust tested and roles shifting, they prepare for a mission that could change everything.

a.n - im free from my shackles of spring semester! im glad you guys are enjoying reading this series! i enjoy writing it for you! ive been writing little drabbles of her and the team :3 those are separate from this series, it was more before we introduced them in the first chapter. but yeahhhh hope you guys enjoy this one!

| masterlist |

——

“Are we ready to burn it?” Steve asked quietly, eyes fixed on the bunker—on the room full of glass ghosts and broken promises.

Bucky exhaled. “Not yet. Let me lock in the coordinates to VERMA.”

He tapped his device until a soft ping confirmed the upload. Then, with a short nod to Steve, he added, “Now we’re good.”

Bucky turned to Y/N, who was leaning on Wanda. “Hon, you ready?” Her eyes were distant, clouded with fear, but she still gave him a soft nod—a small, trembling gesture that said she heard him, and that she was holding on.

That was enough. He reached for her hand and didn’t let go as they made their way to the car in silence. They watched the bunker go up in flames from the backseat of a sedan. Smoke curled into the sky, dancing in the rearview mirror as they drove away. No one said a word until the vehicle slowed at the quinjet’s ramp.

Onboard the jet, silence filled the cabin except for the hum of the engines. Bucky sat across from Steve, one arm resting along the back of the seat, fingers tapping lightly against the fabric—restless.

“You didn’t stay with Peggy,” Bucky said. His voice wasn’t accusing. Just… searching.

Steve stared ahead for a long moment, then answered quietly. “I thought that was where I belonged. But… something pulled me back. There’s more for me here than I thought.”

Bucky nodded slowly, gaze dropping to the floor. For a second, his jaw tightened—just barely. “Yeah,” he said, voice lower now. "sometimes, chasing what we think we need just leaves us more lost." Steve looked at him, concerned, but didn’t press. Bucky leaned back, eyes on the ceiling like he was trying to keep something from surfacing.

“You being here…” he paused, then swallowed. “It’s good. Just gonna take some getting used to. You were gone a long time, man. I thought I lost you for good.”

“I know,” Steve said. “I’m sorry.”

Bucky gave a tight smile, the kind that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s alright. Doesn’t feel real yet anyway.”

They lapsed back into silence, the kind that said more than words could.

Outside the window, the clouds moved fast beneath them. And somewhere behind Bucky’s steady breath and stillness, something unspoken curled tighter inside him—something he wasn’t ready to let go of yet.

----

When the jet touched down on the Tower's pad, the group was already waiting inside—Yelena, Bob, Ava, Walker, and Alexei all clustered together like dogs sensing something was wrong. They followed Wanda, Steve, Bucky, and Y/N silently through the halls, sticking close without a word of protest.

The crowd thickened as they moved into the briefing room, where the air felt heavier, more aware.

Bucky took center, the rest fanning out around him.

“What we found…” he began, glancing toward Y/N briefly, “was a continuation facility. Not an old Hydra ruin—something new. Hidden. Modern. And designed specifically to extract from Y/N whatever they didn’t finish the first time.”

He paused as the words sank in. “It’s abandoned now, or that’s what they want us to think. But it was operational long after Hydra fell. The coordinates lead us to a remote lab—VERMA-12, buried in the Carpathians. We believe whoever took over the program is still out there. Finishing their work.”

Yelena’s jaw tensed, her arms folding tighter across her chest. Ava stared down at the floor, lips pressed into a thin line. Walker shifted his weight but said nothing, gaze flicking briefly toward Y/N, then away.

The silence lingered only a moment before they began to move—each of them propelled by purpose, by routine, by the need to keep going. Whatever waited for them at VERMA-12, they’d face it prepared.

In the mission prep room, the team spread out across a long table scattered with gear, weapons, and communication tools. They moved with methodical urgency. Ava checked the flow of her suit, making sure it was synced to the comms. Yelena ran a quick diagnostic on her wrist blasters, brows furrowed in focus. Walker stood off to the side, quietly adjusting the straps on his taco-shaped shield, his expression unreadable

Bucky paced quietly. Steve stood by the schematics, adjusting the shields given to him by the Wakandans. Wanda and Y/N were looking over coordinates, side by side.

Then Y/N turned, glancing toward Bob. “Bob… maybe you should sit this one out.”

He paused mid-check on his gear, looking up. “Why?”

“This mission isn’t like the last,” she said gently, but with a firmness that couldn’t be missed. “It’s Hydra. And whatever’s out there—I don’t want you caught in the crossfire.”

Bob’s jaw tightened. “I’m not asking to be dropped into the front line. But I’m part of this team. You don’t get to decide I’m not.”

“I’m not saying you can’t handle yourself—”

“Yes, you are,” he said, not angrily, just honest. “I know what this mission means. I know what it means to you. And I still want in.”

Alexei let out a huff. “He grows stronger by fighting. You coddle him, he stays soft. You let him stand, he becomes agent. Real one.”

Y/N looked ready to fire back, but Bucky stepped in. He glanced at both of them, then looked squarely at her. No words—just a steady nod.

She sighed quietly.

Bucky turned to Bob. “You’re coming. But this isn’t full deployment. You stay on the jet, run support. Eyes, comms, tactical reads.”

Bob’s response came after a beat. “Understood.”

“No weapons yet,” Bucky added. “You want to prove something, do it by keeping us alive from the backline.”

Bob nodded once. Y/N looked at him, her tone softening. “Be safe. That’s all I care about.”

His expression eased just a bit, and he reached out, briefly squeezing her hand. “Same to you.”

As the last of the gear was packed into crates, Y/N finally spoke again. “Alright. We’re going to VERMA-12. It’s a Hydra site, still active, and based on what we’ve gathered, they were trying to continue… well, me. So whatever’s left there, we need to destroy it. Not just for me, but for everyone who might be tied to this.”

The team nodded in agreement. FShe glanced at Bucky, brushing his hand. “I know this is a big deal, and not all of us have been in the same room before, so— let’s get this out of the way. I don’t expect anyone to like each other, but I do expect respect.”

“Respect?” Walker muttered, arms folded.

“Yeah, respect,” Y/N repeated, eyeing him. “We’ve all been through things, and we’re here for a reason. So let’s focus on what’s important.”

Walker shifted, clearly uncomfortable. He looked to Sam — who wasn’t there — then back at Steve.

Steve gave him a quiet nod. “We’re all here for the same thing. No one’s alone on this.”

Ava crossed her arms and smirked. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Right,” Walker muttered.

“Hey, hey!” Alexei boomed from the back of the room. “Steve Rogers! I have waited years to meet you!”

He clapped Steve on the back hard enough to rattle bones. Steve just chuckled.

“Nice to meet you too.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, lips tugging up faintly. “You’re too much, Alexei.”

“I am Russian hero,” Alexei grinned. “But I do like big strong super soldier Steve Rogers too.”

"Alright," she said, her voice firm but warm. "We need to stick together. Stay close to each other, and don’t do anything reckless. We’re not just going to destroy files; we’re erasing everything Hydra had on me."

As the final duffels were zipped and the last coordinates loaded into the nav systems, Steve pulled Bucky aside.

“Maybe we should call in Sam and Joaquin. Just in case it’s bigger than we think.”

Bucky gave a small nod. “We might need the backup.”

——

series taglist: @rafesgurl, @seventeen-x, @moompie, @starstruckfirecat, @torntaltos, @rlphunter, @shootingstars-stuff

[hungarianshinobi]

Red flag? I'm colorblind - Fushiguro Toji x F!Reader

-Chapter 1 https://www.tumblr.com/hungarianshinobi/781641513633562624/red-flag-im-colorblind-fushiguro-toji-x?source=share

Chapter 2:

(Y/n)'s POV:

I managed to get off the train with that huge suitcase in my hands. I took a look around for any source of my best friend because she told me she would come here to pick me up.

I didn't see her yet, so I decided that until then I would call my mom. I promised her I would call her once I arrived to Tokyo. Though I won't mention to her what happened on the train with those troublemakers. She would only begin to worry about me and ask me to go back home. I didn't want that.

So I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. Meanwhile I sat on my suitcase and put a finger in my other ear to muffle the noises of the train station and the crowd that surrounded me.

"(Y/n), my honey! How was your journey? Did you arrive safely?" I heard my mom's lovely voice on the other end of the line, causing me to smile.

"Hi mom. Yes. Everything is fine. I am waiting for Anna right now." I told her and took a look around if she was there yet.

"I'm glad you are okay. Don't forget to rest in the evening, alright?"

I opened my mouth to speak when I heard a familiar voice not too far away from me on the right. "(Y/n)!!!" Anna yelled to me as she begun to run towards me.

"Okay, mom. Anna has arrived. I will call you later. Love you." I told her.

"Take care, honey. I love you too." She said and I barely had time to hang up, because Anna jumped on me, causing us to land on the ground.

Fortunately the impact wasn't too big, because I was wearing my backpack which prevented me from hurting myself. "Anna!" I laughed.

"(Y/n), I can't believe that you are finally here!" She said excitedly and climbed off of me, offering her hand for me to help me stand up on my feet as well.

It's been a pretty long time since we last saw each other and I was so glad to see her again. She grabbed one of my bags and we walked out of the train station together towards her car. She told me stories about what I've missed out until now, also flooding about the cool apartment she found for us.

She showed it to me already through a video call, but we all know that cannot compare to reality.

Of course when we were out in the streets I couldn't help but stare around in awe. All those huge skyscapers, the led signs, the enormous crowd and everything else I could only see on pictures and movies up until now was in front of me. I was so excited, because all of it felt unreal. It caused adrenaline rush through my mind and body.

"You look like me when I first came here." Anna laughed, unlocking the trunk to put my belongings into it.

"Why?" I asked, helping her with all the heavy stuff.

"I was as awestruck as you. Tokyo looks like as if it was an another world compared to the small village where we came from." She said, closing the trunk and walking to the driver's seat.

I followed her, sitting in the passenger seat. "Yes. It's so modern. The village is like as if we were stuck in the age of ancient Japan. Even though I like it's traditionality, this is better."

Anna drove off, heading towards our common apartment. On our way I watched my surroundings with a smile that nothing and no one could wipe off my face. The people, the shops, all those tiny and bigger restaurants, booths... sport cars I never saw in reality before. All of it was a dream. Tokyo was lively both at daytime and night. Calling myself excited was an understatement.

About half an hour later we reached a bit quieter part of the town. This region was rather full of apartment buildings. Less bright street lights and much less led signs than in downtown. The neighorhood looked friendly to me.

Anna parked the car in the parking lot, stopping the engine. We both stepped out of the car, grabbed my stuff and begun walking towards one of the buildings. If there weren't any numbers on them as a sign, I would definitely get lost and never find our home again.

My best friend however was living in the town for a while now, so she is definitely used to it and could find anything with her eyes closed too I guess. Probably later I will get used to it as well.

She led the way inside, telling me to code for the door lock of our apartment building which I forget like a moment later.

Just like when somebody tells me their name. We introduce ourselves and I swear to myself I won't forget this time, eventually failing of course. I am as bad with codes as with names. It's a miracle I didn't forget my own name yet.

Anna pushed the button for the elevator, dropping one of my heavy bags down on the ground which landed with a rough thud. "What the hell are you carrying in this? Bricks?" She asked, rubbing her shoulder, feeling a slight of pain due to the weight of my bag.

I begun laughing at her remark sarcastically. "Ha-ha... Very funny. I just brought all my necessary and personal stuff I will need."

A faint sound echoed on the main floor, signaling us that our elevator has arrived. Two unknown people which were probably living in the building as well exited, before we could get inside. Anna pushed the button to the 11th floor and soon the door closed, slowly carrying us up to our desired destination.

Once we were on the floor whereas our apartment was located as well, we exited the elevator and Anna took her keys out of her purse, opening the front door soon.

We dropped everything in the room which is going to be mine. Anna just moved in as well, so the entire place was full of boxes and unorganized stuff, but we will put everything in it's place later. She showed me around and it definitely looked betterin life than on the video call as I mentioned earlier. It was not that big, but for the two of us it will be enough.

I made my way to the kitchen and opened the fridge to look for literally anything that is edible, but it was completely empty, expect for a half bottle of milk and a half eaten tomato.

Much to my disappointment I sighed in defeat, closing the fridge as I turned to Anna. "Guess we are ordering something huh?"

She was already dialing a number and ordered a pizza. That will make it for today, but we will have to go and buy some groceries so we could make and eat proper food. Not that I'm against pizza or something, but I wouldn't want to eat fast food everyday. Besides that it's ridiculously expensive, it's unhealthy as well and I would only gain weight pretty soon...

Me and my insecurities about my body shape doesn't like the idea of junk food either...

Almost an hour passed and the pizza has arrived. Since the television wasn't unpacked as well as many other stuff, we had to rely on Anna's laptop and watched a movie as we ate our lunch... or dinner. It was getting late in the afternoon, so yeah, it was rather dinner.

"We must go out tonight." She suggested, chewing on the huge slice of pizza she took out from the box.

"Ah, no... I should rest for tonight. The train journey was so goddamn long." I whined.

"That's another reason to go out tonight. It's been so long and the guys here are so much hotter than in the village. Please~" she begged me.

I averted my gaze from her when she mentioned guys. She knew it very well that I never had a boyfriend before, so the mere thought of it made me embarassed. She wasn't a dating type either, but at least she knows a bit more about men than me.

"I don't want to go out just because you want to drool for hot guys. If we go out, then at least focus on each other." I suggested. I wasn't too much in the mood to go out, but if it was just a girls only night, I'm okay with it.

Anna sticked her tongue out. "Party pooper. You're so damn innocent. You need someone in your life to break that wall of yours. It's always the innocents who are the most perverted." She remarked, causing me to turn even more embarassed.

Why would she think about such a thing...

She continued. "But maybe you are right. Let's go out and have a girly night like in the old times."

I grinned back at her, remembering all those great times we spent together. Our sleepovers, the hot cocoas, making each others hair and makeup to make a fashion show at home. It was always so fun with her. Perhaps we could repeat it tonight with a small difference because we would actually go out and not stay at home like in the past. There was nothing in that village anyway.

After eating and finishing the movie we watched, we took turns in the bathroom and prepared for tonight. Makeup and other beauty products were spread across the counter and the sink, making a complete mess.

We did each others makeup and hair just like in the past. Anna didn't let me choose my dress though. She said she won't let me go out in my casual clothes, so she chose a dress herself from my suitcase.

"Isn't this too much?" I asked her, looking down at myself. The dress was actually sexy. It was skin tight and my favourite pair of heels matched with it, but I felt like there was too much skin exposed.

"Not at all! You look stunning! You just stay in this." She insisted, causing me to sigh in defeat.

Soon she dressed up too and we were ready to go out. She said she knows a place which I would like too, so we called a cab. She also said she is planning to drink a few rounds, so that's why she won't drive.

During our ride I told her about what happened on the train with those troublemakers and that man who saved me. She was totally hooked on the story, asking millions of questions as I continued speaking. She couldn't leave out the detail about my savior and asked me how he looked.

After we paid for the ride, we walked inside the cafe she was talking about earlier. Though for me it rather looked like a bar, but the vibe of the place was to my liking, she was right about that, so I had no problem with it.

"Well, as far as I can recall he had black hair, he was as tall and muscular as a giant. He looked quite young, but definitely older than us. There was a detail though that surely made his face unique." I told her in a nutshell as we sat down in one of the corners that seemed comfortable.

"Yes yes, what was it?" She was so excited.

"He had a scar on his lip."

I grabbed the menu on the table and scanned it's contents with my eyes, looking for a drink I might like.

"Like him?" Anna asked.

"Hm?" I looked up at her and saw her pointing at something. Or rather someone.

I didn't want to show my surprisement too much, but the gasp that left my lips didn't go unnoticed by Anna.

The man who saved me from those thugs was walking up to the bar, sitting down on of the barstools, wearing a lazy looking outfit which contained of a white shirt and black sweatpants. "Hey Johnny. The usual." he said before looking around the place to see the faces.

And of course he spotted me... A sly smirk appeared on his lips before he grabbed his glass to take a sip from the alcohol he ordered, sending a wink to my direction.

Anna elbowed me and whispered. "He remembers you!"

I'm doomed...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

End of Chapter 2

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-Hungarian Shinobi

[cxsha-sicily]

he broke my heart, so why did i run back?

synopsis: you're biker ex-boyfriend helps you get back home from a party. Do you run back or leave him in the past.

paring: geto suguru x reader

w. fem! reader, biker! geto suguru, fluff, angst, modern AU

i just got back from a late night party and was walking out of the carpark alone when i heard a sudden engine roar. I didn't even bother to look back because i already knew that familiar sound all too well. my ex-boyfriend, Geto sugure

geto drove in-front of me, blocking my path before i could even make the next step. His gaze shifts down to my dead phone. i gave him a glare and he chuckles before flashing his cocky smirk.

"hop on" he says to me, patting his bike.

i didn't have any other options. My phone was dead so i couldnt call my friends to take me home and walking to my house would be a pain. i hopped on the back of the motorcycle.

geto felt his heart skip a few beats when he felt my arms around his waist; holding him tightly. he put his hands over mine and gave him a gentle squeeze before taking off. he felt like he was in paradise as he feels me hugging him from behind. he was always calm around ,e, but he was always shy when it came to his feelings.

he was a huge introvert. He wasn't exactly someone who could hold a conversation. it took him so long to say the big three words to me, and it took him even longer to find the courage to even look into my eyes.

i just hopes he knows that im only holding onto him so that i dont fall. Not because i wanted to. If i had another way to get home then i would use it.

it was quiet during the whole ride. All i could hear was the engine noise and the wind rushing in my ears. i felt the night breeze blowing against my face. His body heat made me comfortable, though it was still cold at night.

when he finally arrived at my house, he turned off his motorcycle and put down the stand, letting me get off his bike. he took off his helmet off and shook his hair a little. It was almost as if he still looks good even after a simple action like this.

i said a quick thank you and hopped off his bike.

he gave a simple smile and a nod in response. He was a man of few words. But as soon as i turned around to walk to my home, he called out to me. I could tell that he really didnt want to part ways, not yet

"Y/N"

he called out my man so suddenly, but it came out softly like honey.

i turned my head. i was shocked that he called me by my first name. he used to call me n/n.

"will you at least sit with for a little, for old times sake?"

he said, He knew he was being selfish. He knew he felt me, but he couldnt help but wonder if he was still the one who made me laugh, smile, cry. He hated how much he missed me and how much he wants to be with me. He felt lonely and cold without me. This is the closest he's been in almost a year.

i thought for a second. Do i really want to sit with him? A man i worked so hard to get over? someone who left me broken and crying in my bed for day on end? before i could think about it, my mouth moved on its own.

"okay"

why would i say that? he left me bent and i had to mold myself back. I promised myself that i wouldnt run back to him.

he let out a silent sigh in relief. He wasnt exactly sure whether i'd say yes or no. To be exact, he wasn't expecting me to said yes. He felt his heart thumping loudly. He gestured to the spot next to him as he patted beside him.

he felt his heart racing again as soon as i sat down next to him. The first time we've had been so close after nearly one year of no contact.

i walked to the spot next to him and started looking at the moon and the stars.

he stares at my side profile for a while. my hair moved in the wind beautifully and he watched me quietly under the dim light from the steetlights. He felt a small smile creep up on his face as he kept admiring my features.

" do you wanna talk or did you want us to sit here in silence"

it didnt matter to him, really. He was more than happy just being next to me. His hand inched closer to mine. the urge to hold my hand was becoming too unbearable. He finally placed his palm on my hand and squeezed it. He knew i would pull away, or snatch my hand away, but he still tried anyways.

i want to pull away, i really did but i couldn't. his hands were just as cold and rough as i imagined them. They matched my soft warm hands.

i was screaming at myself for letting myself get here. Why couldn't i just raincheck this? Why did i have to agree? do i even have it in my to disagree?"

he noticed that i didn't pull my hands away. He took it as a sign. his thumb gently traced small circles on the back of my hand. He tried to keep his cool and act casual, but he knew he was blushing like crazy right now.

"you still remember the first day we met back when we were both in college?"

he asked, trying to start a conversation. His mind couldn't find anything else to talk about, he just knew he wanted to hear my voice.

i nodded my head. How can i forget the day when i met my first love? the first time i laid my eyes on him, i new he was all i wanted.

He smiles when i agreed and the memories of the day came back to the both of us.

the both of us were in the college library. He was working some part time job at the library while i was studying for an upcoming exam. i dropped a bunch of my book all over the floor and he helped to pick them up.

i remember his asking to get lunch together, and the rest was history. Those were the days, when neither of us had a care in the world.

we were together for nearly two years before we broke up. i also remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in our shared apartment, and got a text saying we needed to talk when he got off work. After one hour later, he got off work while i was doing our laundry.

he didn't hug me and he didn't kiss me like he normally did. He sat me down and told me that we needed to breakup. Some girl from his highschool enrolled in our collage and caught his eye. he explained that he didn't hold the same amount of love for me like he loved her.

i guess they were right when they said first loves dont die.

" i also remember the day we broke up"

he held his breath when i mentioned the break up. it was difficult for him, because even though he left me, he still felt like he never stopped loving me. He was devastated knowing that he was the one who put me through it all and ruined me. He didn't deserve my love, and he never will. He let me go because he didn't want to see me hurt

"can i ask you a question?"

[skeletwinsauaskbox]

(part 1) OKAY SO SINCE I SAW THAT MY POST IS NOW CANON OHMYGOD im gonna make some more! and this time, it's going to be a LOT MORE to be specific: 18 18 FONTS. alright let's go, i'm going to also list every type of them! soo, 3 for every type! --------------------------------- Sans-Serif Types: Proxima Nova This type of skeleton is closely related to the Comic Sans font, but is not entirely the same, due to them having a slightly more upright frame, they are slightly shorter than a Papyrus font, but not as short as a Comic Sans, standing at around 5'4. The interest that piques their curiosity is important to how they look, as a Proxima Nova that studies, for example, Astrology, would influence their bone slightly, making small star-like forms appear in them. As to opposed if they were to pursue something like Engineering, they'd likely gain sturdier, slightly thicker bones to allow for more strength, like the Impact fonts. Helvetica These skeletons are usually a tall, slim kind of skeleton, also often helping people to be able to make them stand out slightly more in the abundance of Sans-Serif fonts. These fonts are usually created by a Sans-Serif wanting to change their font, but stopping halfway. Slowly, they will start to stop using their original font, slowly changing to Helvetica. This change also makes them taller, and slimmer, so some Skeletons try to become a Helvetica due to insecurities, and these Helvetica fonts usually have a tragic backstory. The most common job these fonts take is designing clothes, specifically suits, ties, etcetera. Raleway Raleway is an elegant Sans-Serif font, perhaps the most elegant of its kind. This font usually goes to parties or gatherings to discuss with other fonts, enjoying social interaction, but slightly less than a Comic Sans. Imagine a Comic Sans, but then turning the goofy knob down slightly, and you will be left with Raleway. These fonts are usually graphic designers, hired to design logo's for businesses. For example, the 'Grillby's' bar, stationed in Snowdin, had it's logo designed by a Raleway fonted skeleton. --------------------------------- Serif Types: Baskerville This font is usually high in the rankings with the intricate designs across its bones resembling coins, or plants. These types usually become businessmen, using their beautiful marks to sway and trick customers into thinking they are more trustworthy, making Baskervilles great scammers too. But, not many Baskervilles bear such malice in their hearts, and usually use their abilities to help people become a better version of themselves, much like a Papyrus fonted skeleton. Georgia This Serif font is more closely related to the Sans-Serif types, not having fully lost it's Sans-Serif like qualities, this Serif type is still slightly like a Sans-Serif, but not fully. It bears the most resemblance to a Helvetica font, yet slightly shorter, standing at around 5'5. The marks on their bones are usually shaped in the form of numbers, but they can be easily misformed too. A perfect number pattern on a Georgia has never been captured yet, and will likely not be captured for several years to come. FF Scala Being closely related to the FFF Tusj font, this Serif type font is slightly older than other Serif fonts, but is the most modern version of the FFF Tusj. Being slightly more modern, this font is able to create more than simply Maps, and can usually also create stunning artwork. Most artworks, such as the classic 'Bone', created in 19XX, currently hanging in Sans and Papyrus' house, was created by a FF Scala font. The Papyrus font is slightly related to this font, thus also granting it its artistic abilities.

--------------------------------- im going to make 2 types per ask, because i think i'm almost hitting the limit UNTIL NEXT TIME!!

(I can just imagine you back flipping out of a window Papyrus-style with that exit hehe. Mind if I make these canon too?)

[z-and-the-space-child]

my head is all currently midnight burger podcast so here's everything i like about this wonderful piece of media:

it's pretty fun and very funny!! i smile like an idiot on public transport and on my way to class at least once a day listening to this.

the characters are so. idk how to describe them but theyre so full of life and you can tell that they are loved greatly by the creator(s)

the WRITING. i could seriously pluck a quote from damn near every episode to carry me through the day. i don't need affirmations i need gloria to talk me through my problems.

i was doing a lil analysis of the themes in this show and i came up with "the best thing you can ever do is the best thing you can do right now" and it is FUEL, babey.

The el triste monologue. also just gloria being a POC and being proud of herself and her culture. there's a lot of cultural mish-mash in podcasts, so this is very refreshing.

It's very, very sweet and heartfelt. kind of like wolf 359 if they communicated more instead of dodging their issues until they came to a peak (love them for it.)

the PHYSICS of it all. i'm a physics/astrophysics major because i think space and looking at the stars is my lifeblood so i won't shut up about it. i don't want ava and leif (certainly ava) to shut up about it ever. HOW much reasearch did they have to do to get this kinda grasp on it. im in awe, i'm LEARNING actual things from them. i could go on. the gravity waves, the stellar nuclear fusion, the time dilation of it all. and all without using over-flowery language!!! i can actually follow a good chunk of the time. are we sure ava didn't take one of those science communication seminars. maybe 5 phds does it. when she and leif talk i vibrate like an electron in a lazer. wonderful.

star sequencing??? stellar nucleosequencing??? right up my alley. thats my kinda stuff. the romanticization of space, i've seen. the romanticization of physics, however, is not something i haven't seen in such a beautiful modern fashion. (Ie, not oppenheimer or even richard feyman)

and it's not too science-y to the point that they think they can't have fun. yes they discuss the implications of gravity waves and wax poetic about space and pulsars. (it beats for you, berts) but they have FUN! they meet their parents because they can. they get a plant drunk. there's an atmosphere(?????) around the diner that allows them to fly around and mind-numbing speeds and look at the curvature of spacetime and also sit on the roof. (I imagine the entire place is the temperature of a summer night.) they have a whole wild west planet. leif builds things inexplicably. how? where does he get the materials??? shhhhh don't question it just let him have the gravity wave detector. nobody actually knows what engineers do, not even engineers. let him be. also time crystals??????

ALSO ava being a woman in stem and being so blunt yet covert about it. she's been dealing with it for so long. why are all (recognized) physicists a)white b) men c) both. it's such a sucky thing to work into because of the outward appearance. ava is a proud mad scientist which i aspire to so much. i am keeping her in my little arsenal of people to think about when i don't want to study. (picture the do it for her meme but it's pics of ava) I don't think i aptly put how much i love her. i'm not all the way finished yet but i've heard she was forced to marry someone? i think it would be a thing for sure if she cheated on him. so many physicists cheated on their spouses (wives ): ) and i think ava should also do it. as a treat. if that's what she'd like.

when people have done bad, bad things but show/are capable of redemption upon reflecting on their past/current shortcomings is just something that gets me so much directly in the heart. the hiddenness of people. the tragedy. we contain MULTITUDES and this show demonstrates that so well. how they support each other! they are everchanging and that's good for them. Leif the engineer the ex criminal the diner cook.

leif exploding a man in cold blood. if i could draw i'd draw that. maybe i will anyways.

food as a form of affection/way to bond. grief. doing your best. making amends. using the time you have. death is inevitable but that's okay.

And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember we’re out there, somewhere, lookin’ for ya’

they open at six

[raisinchallah]

you know im trying to read the traitor baru cormorant but idk i know im being extremely pedantic and this is partially from my knowledge of the development of modern psychiatry and eugenics and whatever but im like really having a hard time buying the level of centralized social control and policing upon peoples like thoughts to the point they have apparently a complex psychiatric prison system to dispense aversion therapy to people accused of adultery in a world powered by sail ships like who came up with these ideas how were they so widely implemented is there a falcresti darwin or freud and frankly the level of comical over the top homophobic control again i find very hard to believe when there seems to be no misogyny or even that extreme of gender roles like they find baru odd for dressing a bit masculine but nothing more there does not seem to be a push to get married there is very little discussion of marriage or anything surely if being seen as gay is so catastrophic for you socially and legally baru should be married as a ranking official or like it should be another part of the racist exclusion from society that she is not able to get married that its too politically complex to marry someone from aurdwynn and shes not considered assimilated enough or something to marry a falcresti man idk im sure this is what people who know too much about like feudal economics feel when they read most fantasy novels but surely in a world that does not seem to have the industry based around cities or speedy transit and passage of mail or other things to further interconnect people that moves the engine of social control from the local community to the state idk how half these things would be happening let alone like who wrote out a theory of evolution that was used as a basis for these particular eugenicist beliefs like idk again maybe im insane here but this feels so hmm idk how to put it but i feel liek this both comes from a lack of understanding of other imperialist ideologies and justifications for itself and idk the actual history and development of these specific loci of control and idk the other social and economic factors but also i just idk find it very silly how every single page someone is saying something homophobic or about the violent oppression of gay people like please be real here even some of the most homophobic societies on earth could not bother with the sheer scope of effort expended here and yet again they also seem to have zero weird gender roles or expectations of heterosexual marriage like surely that would radically change things ok whatever this makes no sesne

[terranceholdsapencil]

So Ive watched Boom and initial thoughts

S14e03 "Boom" doctor who spoilers

-immediately knew these guys were dead.

-susan twist what are you doing in my ambulance

-killing someone because they'd take four weeks to recover is insane but also works great as the endpoint of capitalism

-casual reminder that I adore 15s theme. Its very different from other Doctor's themes but its lovely.

-skye boat song?!?! Two played that on his recorder back in the web of fear

-"One wrong move, and BOOM. I go all food mixer"

Great line, 10/10

-"everywhere is a beach eventually"

I hate that this made me think of Rose

-"Why, does a landmine have lights on it?" "*groans* capitalism" "Excuse me?" "Flashy lights play well in a showroom. Modern warfare. Death by salesmen"

This is just. Oxygen but instead of a space station its warfare. Jamie Mathieson basically wrote this already. But thats okay I will still eat it up

-lesbian gymkhana. Noice.

-"IiIm not even screaming yet"

THAT'S THE RIGHT ATTITUDE 🫵

-smelted :)

-"i was trying not to show off" well thats new cause you always show off

-"you are brave." "mm." "And you are wonderful. And I forgive you for being incredibly stupid"

Do you know what that reminded me off? The dead boy detectives staircase confession. Come on, you hear it too:

"Also, I cannot BeLIEve you would risk your entire existence coming down to this operatic horror show for me. That is so FUCKING stupid its unbelievable" "Sorry. No version of this where I didnt come get you, is there"

-"I went down to the beach, and there she stood, dark and tall, at the edge of the wood. The Sky´s too big; Im scared!, I cried, she replied: Young man, dont you know theres more to life than the moon and the president´s wife?"

Was she erm , was she nice, the presidents wife?

Ah, well, that was a lie put about by the shabogans. It was the presidents daughter. I didnt steal the moon, I lost i..

Id know you anywhere.

12 AND CLARA MENTIONED?!?!?

-"Life is cheap. Patients are expensive"

Just as I said. War oxygen. Theyre fighting the algorithm. And capitalism.

-"war is business, and business is booming"

-"and my name is the doctor ""the doctor isnt a name" "yeah. haha! And I not even a doctor."

Was the degree in cheesemaking a lie? What about the lego? Doctor, have you lied to me?

Medicine, science, engineering, candy floss, philosophy, music, problems, people, hope, and practically everything :(

-"Great name, Mundy Flynn. You should marry RUby, then you´ll be mundy sunday. Go on, get married, Id laugh every day."

NOW THATS MY TYPE OF HUMOUR 🫵‼️

-"Ive met sentient Mud. lovely girls. I mean grumpy, yeah, but you try lying around with your face full of mammals all day."

I thought of the morax from the witchfinders first but yeah lovely girls

-"im a much bigger bang than you bargained for.

im a lot more explosive than I look and honey, I know how I look."

Originallt I was just a fan of the first line but something about the doctor being in a very bad situation but going "Im hot af :)" is... lmao

-SNOW??? SNOW STOPPING MID AIR???

-"do you get-get-get it?"

-the way he said "girl" in "now you need proof, faith giArl?"

-DAD TO DAD???

I reallt liked the theory of Susan coming back but this might also hint at a general doctor-family thing. Maybe his child

-when everything worked out the soundtrack was the same as during the tardis reveal in the star beast. I had to stop the episode cause that score made me FEEL things. I could not the heck focus on 15 with this soundtrack on cause. Uhm.

....

Im so sorry but this tardis reveal is so so so SO special to me so playing the same music is actually vile. Because. No I wont be able to focus on the actual episode. I couldnt focus on the actual episode because 15 sang a song 2 played on his bloody recorder. You cant use a TARDIS REVEAL SCORE.

-"What happened" "well, its uh, its kind of hard to sum up. I think if I had a diary it would be a little bit too exiting for words. I think I could write it with drums. Can you write a diary with drums? I bet I could."

IS THIS A THOSCHEI REFERENCE?! 🗣🗣🗣

-the sky is like actually super pretty on kastarion 3

-"quite frankly, your life span sucks" HAHA

-"fish fingers and custard is mt favourite" FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD?!

-"A sad, old man once told me. WHat survives of us is love."

-irs actually insane how happy the tardis "vworp vworp vworp" makes me. Everytime the tardis disappears I giggle like little kid.

-im sorry but the next ep is SO intriguing Im very excited for next week, more excited than thid one actually

[goldy-engine]

Rewriting Kenji

Okay so im fixating on Kenji Right now. Which has made me think a lot about things, I don’t think a lot of people talk or even think about him but I’ve got a lot to think about regarding Him AND I’ve also thought about how I would rewrite him as a character. Since he was introduced in the BWBA era and just about the end of the series all together. He hardly had any character to him, as did most new characters, but O so badly wish he did. His design is not bad given that the 0 series Shinkansen are pretty simple in terms of colours in general. I actually think he could of had potential if he was introduced earlier and not just for marketing/toy purposes. There’s so much they could of done in regards to him being an electric engine in general or his speeds, or his relations with others because of being an electric engine, or if it’s easy or hard for him to get along with other engines. And some other detail is that his class was an older electric class I’d say, I mean his class of engine is retired from what I’ve read. Though obviously he is not that old, he still isn’t extremely young either. The 0 series Shinkansen were first built around 1963-1964 whcih is only 4 years after the Br 42 warship (Diesel 10) class was built. Just thought that was interesting.

Anyway, so this is how I would rewrite Kenji as a character, mostly simplified version of what I think because I have rewrote Kenji as a character in my mind to a point I forget how he actually is in canon

-for the basic personality I think I’d write him to be curious but a bit anxious too. I somewhat introverted, or struggles to talk to new people. I don’t know to me he gave off sort of an anxious or introverted sort of vibe. I think for relating.

-despite being a bit introverted, he hates being alone, since that was one definite thing I could get from him as a character from the episode Kenji on the rails(I think that’s the episodes name) that he was scared to travel alone. I think he’s got a fear of being alone in general. Maybe I’m reading way too much into a character marketed for children but I don’t know.

-random thing, I headcanon his favourite animal is a great white shark, that’s why I give him shark teeth and eyes when I draw my humanoid design for

-for character relations, I would of liked to see more of Kenji and Hiro, to see their contrasts and similarities. Perhaps talking about what they remember of Japan and comparing their experiences from different times. Since Hiro is already pretty calm and more relaxed than some of the other characters I think he and my Kenji would be really good friends, Hiro could be someone he can have that he doesn’t feel so anxious around.

-I want to pretend Hiro and Kenji never left Sodor.

-episode ideas could include maybe something that involves the diesels, I want to know what Diesel 10 would think of Kenji. Or another episode idea could be some sort of scenario that involves both Kenji and Duck, id like to see how an old fashioned and proud steamie would contrast with A mostly modern electric engine who (atleast mine) sometimes struggles with being an electric, and being apart of a huge change when it comes to travel yet his particular class isn’t really used anymore. I think a good episode idea that could be relatable or give some form of lesson could be learning how to cope with anxiety and not letting it stop you from being around others or being really useful. Maybe how to deal with stress too.

Nobody ask me where I pull this all from, I don’t know, thats how I’ve managed to characterised Kenji in my mind

[fipindustries]

words of magic

someone close to me has been talking to me about magic and trying to get me into that whole thing and because i love them and have a lot of respect for them i have kept an open mind and genuenly considered their arguments.

afterwards i had a discussion with another friend about the nature of magic and we realized we had to define what we even thought magic was and the deffinition they arrived at was essentially "magic is when something impossible happens or is done, something that cannot be explained by science"

and something bothered me about that deffinition because it feels a bit tautological, or circular, magic is what cannot exist. sure its convenient to make magic impossible by deffinition. it feels unsatisfying, philosophically speaking, to make "magic" and "impossible" mean the same thing.

my personal thoughts about magic lie on the sufficiently advanced science side of things, on those posts about how "welding rare metals into the shape of arcane runes can make rocks think" style of posts. in all of fiction magic is always shown as something that can be studied and manipulated and understood, even if at the core of it lie ineffable mysteries, well, so is the case with modern science.

any magic that were to exist irl would eventually be subsumed by the scientific method in turn. if we cant call the things we do in advanced physics, elctronics and engineering magic then we cant call most of the magic systems we thought of in fiction magic either, honestly.

am i saying that magic and science are the same? not really, im just charting how confused my thoughts are regarding the deffinition of magic and what does the word really means, what the concept is trying to encapsulate.

i know there are magic practitioners irl, people who claim to do rituals and spells and usually what happens is that when they try to explain what is it that they do (which tends to be a mix of psychology, hypnotism, emotional priming, narrative engineering, and projecting meaning over chance) and people who dont study magic find the answer dissapointing, dismissing it by saying that that "is not really magic, magic is when you throw fireballs out of your hands, etc". im not sure who gets to claim what the word means.

maybe what it really means is "the feeling of wonder over something that feels unexplainable by mundane causal means, when things seemingly happen by no clear underlying mechanism". perhaps that is the more honest deffinition but i also find it unsatisfying because it makes it subjective. it makes it tied to our own inner state of ignorance rather than to the nature of the world.

but then so is the word luck and the word probability. in the real world, outside of human perception and our limited understanding of what is to come, things happen deterministically as they were always going to happen. things that we percieve as "probable" dont exist in a fuzzy undertermined state until they coalesce into what is, when something happened a certain way that is the way it was always going to happen. luck and probablity are also fake things that "exist" only as a phenomena of our ignorance, and yet we are more than comfortable to use them all the time.

words are harlequins indeed

[breadbox-draws]

Can we hear more about Malaise and Amon? They look cool!!! (and I think Malaise is more NSR based, and Amon looks realistic)

sure! and thank you!! credit where credit is due, i commissioned a friend, skull_labyrinth on instagram, for Mal's design! she (the friend) is another wonderful artist, and i highly recommend taking a look at and supporting her artistic endeavors <3

Mal and Amon actually come from an original universe — a Monster of the Week-esque modern urban fantasy dubbed Town Town (the name of which was conceived from the suggestions and blessings of another set of awesome friends)!

i don't have very much on Malaise unfortunately, because i've been too busy hyperfixating on the Main Blorbos these days, but there are some key details that i can share!

Mal is one of KK's longest and closest friends! She's the person that introduced him to music and music production back when he and his brothers were fresh into a different housing situation. they continue to trade albums or tracks to this day, but have a harder time meeting in person because Mal lives farther away now

She mainly makes lo-fi tracks, and can also play on a drum kit! the former she does independently, but the latter skill she uses for the band she's in with KK and two other friends. the band is named Sodium Streets! (KK plays synth)

She dresses in pastel goth styles usually, though there's also a bit of punk in her wardrobe

I think I had her down as Filipino-? i'll have to dive into my notes again for that one

Amon, meanwhile, has much more information and history ... partly because her alternate universe version, Al, had been another Main Blorbo for a long time before KK and the boys moved in. speaking of "alternate universes", she and Al are alternate versions of each other that live in the same house!

Sometimes, she reconsiders her decision to not invite bodily harm to him. Some details for her as well (and for Al, by proxy):

the transing her gender part was pretty recent. she hadn't known or even considered that to be an option until she left her hostile home universe

while Al knows more about chemistry and general physics, Amon specializes in engineering and multiverse theory! (Al also does theory work on multiverses, but she knows more)

Amon had tried to murder Al at one point. a Totally Reasonable Response to perceiving that he betrayed her and was leaving her for dead in her universe. they've made up since then, but he hasn't stopped getting on her nerves jsjfndkfjd

Amon does side work for this shady organization in Town Town, taking over a position that was initially offered to Al (which he subsequently refused ... and she accepted instead).

im not quite comfortable sharing the full breadth and depth of Town Town yet, but you can kind of glean some information from the characters (and memes) that are a part of it!

[makeshiftcoop]

Misfits and Sandbox

Some words to show what i mean with "sandbox" in Misfits

And I mean something like a mix of The Sims and Lego.

That's really my vision when someone says sandbox. Oh and GTA IV. Liberty City and stuff, you know. GTA V was a bit too overwhelming for me. But, really, when im thinking about modern sandbox (something that does not involve "medieval" aesthetic and low tech) my mind goes back to my time playing with Legos and the hours that I spent with different iterations of The Sims and all the gratuitous crime i commited as I child/teen robbing vehicles and just doing whatever.

I also like the procedurally generated vibe, as in the osr/nsr scene with the tables as input driven engines, or with roguelikes in digital games, specially when they are well executed with a twist (like hades and the fragmented narrative).

So, this is my way of integrating that stuff. The procedural generated stuff is where i idealize the mechanics, generating narrative with die and choices from tables. Also, i think my goal for subsystems is one of generating stuff to make actions more significant than the usual "just RP it" or "just write a short entry" (for solo ttrpg). Like the famous clocks from Blades and a myriad of other cool games. Soon i hope to expand that to other stuff that I'm still daydreaming about (dating system! car chases! smooching people!). For now the game is Acting and Plans. In terms of mechanics frontiers for the Misfits. Acting is normal rolls that get solved in itself and Plans are more like long term or complex stuff with clocks and checks to fill ticks for resolution.

That's it.

The rest is Lego, a big toybox with stuff for you to play with, and the Sims, some Faces for you to meet, fall in love, fuck, kill, befriend, move together, rob, etc.

That feeling is what I'm wanting more in analogic games, specially my designs. There's a lot of stuff for you to see and interact and daydream and even play about. And there's also a set of things that make this little world consistent.

I want to provide interesting toys and interesting faces and expand on the procedures to make those trips to this little world more interesting. Fun takes many forms. Maybe it can be more spicy or erotic. Maybe it will be powerfantasy, cape shit. Maybe something more heavy, political or tinged with horror. I think that's my goal, cover all those possible vibes of stories that comics managed to fit into people capable of defying reality using cool costumes and spilling cringe dialogue.

Right now Im planning on divide things in "Tapes". Each tape is like a season and have a name that's also kind of a more structured group of faces and happenings that will do things that can show up in future seasons. Some form of persistent world. I know that's not very popular nowadays with most people in indie ttrpg spaces but i admit im a sucker for weird plots encompassing a game universe in a greater narrative. I think it's nice to play in a bigger world. Have some kind of canon, or at least possible canons. I also think that marvel multiverse shit made people feel sick of it but im not elaborating.

Im not making a canon that you have to know to play the game or anything, but the Tapes will have this little bits of stuff that i pretend to mention in the next and, maybe, creating some kind of persistency with Faces and Places that you can use in your playsessions or just scrap it off or pick it a part.

So, I'm not capable yet of assembling things into a coherent layout, but i want to get some pieces of Misfit outta in the world. Here are some building blocks (hah) of what your Misfit will interact in the world:

Faces are people to meet. Places are places to go. Happenings are like encounters, things that happen in the world, favours that Faces ask, or just slices of life

Later I pretend to divide those tables in Regions, each one with a vibe more well defined and some neighboorhoods.

FACES: 1 - Key, bald drug smuggler with a mustang, a mumble speech and the ghost of his dead brother to raise. 2 - Van Helith, tireless basketball player, dreams with the big lights, cocky but kinda awkward with people. 3 - Eva, extremely powerful freak. she's slowly dying because of her powers but also discreetly searching for a cure. successful businesswoman, practically lives in her private jet. 4 - Hobbs, DJ who's also a kaoist who uses sonore dissonance to fuel their magic. 5 - Montaineblanc, revived semi cadaveric ex-royalty. perverse and rotten human being, enjoys his newfound immortality. 6 - Ceci Boo, overworked freelancer. pretty crafty philosopher. talented martial fighter. fae bloodline, she does not know. a little misanthropic. 7 - Noah, psyonic, talented musician. Usually depressed. uses his powers to play multiple instruments at once. 8 - Haysha, smoker, tormented psyonic e-celebrity, likes to drive fancy cars. 9 - Michael Zaraj, a bloody, also mad scientist and toxin experimentalist. made mutating intelligent spiders to have minions capable of bring humans for him to experiment on. 10 - Any Corvo, popstar and "crimefighter". a hot fash who streams music and murders petty thiefs in revealing pink and black costume for her far right audience. lethal swords. seems like a build up persona. 11 - Mindy, traveled a lot as kid, never knew what is home. Can always be seem with her red bike full of patches. Blunt and suspicious. 12 - Joan, artist, has a little online following by her creepy collage projects. The themes of her pieces are a contrast to her ponytails and flowery jumpsuits 13 - Benji Skrinar, talented dev, prolly a cybersyko but he hides it well. Does some online scams for an extra buck. 14 - Max London, Ex highschool quarterback, now a model. Hates to travel. Knows everybody important in their hometown and is kinda of a local hero. 15 - Talissa Mür, a know face in circles of luxury events, restaurants and parties. Seems like some kind of heiress, but actually does a dirty job in an Exclusion Zone as a geneticist. Vos, an ex huntress that left behind the fucked up reality of The Houses. Now they are the guard commander of a small castle 16 - Ethel, a librarian and weaver. Trans girl stranded from her big family, arrived in the region to start living with her caring but confuse and troubled dad. 17 - Natalie, prodigy student and Supe. Her family was one of the rare exceptions that didn't want their daughter becoming part of a Corpo, which she did mainly as an act of pure rebellion, but also to exercise some control to her life for the first time. 18 - Hellen, knows as her stage name of Ziggy, is a freak with teleportation powers, dancer and singer. Performances like hers, mixing entertainment and powers, are getting really popular. She is discreet with her identity, but soon will attract wrong attention 19 - Mulaney, idealistic boy born into nobless, discharged from C.A.G.E. after caught sabotaging operations. His family saved his ass and now he is backpacking around the countryside thinking in ways of "dismantling the system" (but mostly just vibing. he is rich, after all) 20 - Cora, Psyonic, top of their class in The Citadel, the prestigious college for Overly Capable Humans. After few drinks will spit out that they have beem abduced twice. If drinks waaay to much will admit that cheats in every test with a complex methodology (it's a heavy burden for them)

PLACES: 1 - Small coffee shop named Plantoffe. Lots of weird plants. runned by an middle age couple. 2 - Master Tara's Boxing Club. A franchise of generic martial arts with underpaid instructors 3 - Bills Square, billboards everywhere, neon and luxury stores mix with tall comercial buildings, a mix of tech and finances. Security cameras and cops are omnipresent in this vicitnies. 4 - Makeout Creek, a little creek near the high school, famous spot for teens to hang out and... well, mostly smoke weed but some actually still makeout 5 - Gemini Hills, just out of the city. a spot with parks, places to eat and with a great view of the skyline. 6 - A moto bike shop decorated with random esoteric stuff and violet neon lights called Azphalt 7 - An abandoned construction site. upon further looking there's trash, a mattress and signals of a rushed escape. 8 - An old mass grave turned to a boring park with a couple of benches and a monument in honour of a dead local stray dog named Chico. 9 - A plaza in the Campus. A brutalist fountain sits at the center of it, with different handrails, elevations and concret benches being used by skaters to perform different tricks. Cliques of college students gossip and drinks and eat observed by the scorching sun. 10 - Caricá Beach, paradisiac little spot, hide between deep vegetation and a hill that ends in a rocky cliff used for risky jumps into the water

HAPPENINGS: 1 - Missing posters of a boy. His brother handling pamphlets, asking for help. The cops are ignoring the case after coming back from the woods with scared eyes. 2 - A neighbor is moving out and found some weird stuff in a basement that they had never noticed. At least they will tell you that. 3 - Two girls asking for help, last night they were hired to dance in a party in a secluded club. Turns out thar it was the last rite of a suicide cult and today they are locking themselves in a gold revested bunker to transmit their conscious to a new dimension. Oh, the leader really seemed to have some weird powers. 4 - The bus from the local basketball team broke. They could use some help to reach the game. Also, their reserve squad is lacking some players... 5 - Traveling band of street artists is being held and investigated by two strange Border Patrol cops. 6 - Sunglasses, tans, boys without shirts and groups of people in beach clothing in the trail that leads to the Costa Esmeralda beach. 7 - A C.A.G.E unit running roadblocks, aiming to pass an image of security to the a region with recent unrests 8 - A thematic party at the sorority-run bar Pinkgarden. Good opportunity for getting laid, do some networking or play the hero stopping a mortal brawl between highly intoxicated supe rivals