#im really not that much of a gamer though im not the right person to be asking recs from sorry anon 😭

[cherryrikis]

OPERATION: LOCKDOWN - 005 ! miss dr jart ambassador

pairing -> gamer!riki x beauty influencer!fem reader

synopsis -> you hated gamers. riki hated ulzzang’s (except you). so after weeks of fighting to be the top streamer, (and riki’s poor attempts to charm you), he suggests to collaborate so you could both be number one. you tried to keep it professional. but the more time you spent producing content together, the more you realized just how much nishimura riki really meant to you.

previous <> masterlist <> next

you had only been at the arcade for three hours, but your whole friend group probably had over 15,000 tickets each (thanks to wonbin and minjeong, for figuring out how to always hit the jackpot on the wheel of fortune).

“guys, i don’t feel like playing anymore. i’m just gonna go the front real quick, to use the ticket counter?” you informed.

“yeah, no worries. uh, do you need me to come with you?” seunghan asked, gently placing his soda down on the pac-man game (right as wonbin was about to beat his personal record).

“it’s alright. i’ll be quick.”

“come back in time for us to use the photo booth!” hyein called out.

you smiled at her, before turning around to head towards the front of the store.

it was supposed to be a quick stop, you were supposed to count your tickets.

and you were, until you saw his stupid face.

you didn’t even realize it was him, until he bumped into you.

riki was walking backwards for whatever reason, and you had your head buried in your phone, of course you were bound to collide. stupid situational awareness.

“sorry..” “oh! i’m so sorry, are you okay?” riki asked, immediately turning around to offer you a hand. you reached for his support, until you looked up and realized who it was.

“you’ve got to be kidding. for a moment i actually almost saw you as a decent human being. you know, when you’re not publicly berating girls.” you scoffed, pushing his hand away to get back up on your own.

you never noticed how tall riki was. he completely towered over you once you were on your feet again.

riki ignored your comment, and instead changed the subject.

"didn’t think this was your type of scenery, miss dr jart ambassador.”

"it’s not.. im here with friends." you sighed. “and don’t call me that. only the girls ever called me that.”

"are they as stereotypically loud and obnoxious as all gamers?" he teased, nudging your shoulder, only to quickly withdraw his arm as you glared at him.

"we're actually all models, but nice try."

soon after, one of riki's friends come up to you both, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "hey, you really put the beauty in beauty influencer. you're... yn, right? im jake." he says.

"this one might be an exception." you jokingly whispered to riki in a way you knew jake would hear, replying back to the previous comment from right before he came.

riki pushed jake’s face away from you. "not him though. he's too old for you."

"and you arent too young for me? what if i like older guys?" you tilted your head to the side, faking a clueless expression.

"well then i guarantee jake isn't the one. and arent you also born in 2005??"

"yeah, i am. but whatever. see you around i guess. dont approach me when i'm with my friends again, or i WILL make sure seunghan finds you." you scoff.

"but you were alone?" riki called out as he watched you walk away.

you carefully made your way back to your friend group, as they were waiting at the photo booth as planned.

“oh hey! you’re back. obviously we’re not all gonna fit, so we’ll take turns.” hanni waved, gesturing for you to come closer. “you and seunghan will go first.”

seunghan stepped forward, holding the curtain open for you to go in first before sitting down beside you.

“you were gone for like, 10 minutes. what’s up with that?” he whispered, knowing your group would be eavesdropping.

“you won’t believe this, seung. but i ran into riki.”

he slapped a hand over his mouth with a gasp. “you’re lying! i’ll literally find him when we’re done with this, and make sure he keeps your name out his mouth.”

3, 2, 1, pose! the speaker played out, as you and seunghan quickly got into a casual two-person-heart-formation.

“it’s okay. you don’t have to. he’s actually not that bad, just a little persistent.” you chuckle. but seunghan didn’t find it funny.

“y/n. are you forgetting all that he said about you? especially on live. your image was damaged.” he stared at you with a blank expression.

“it’s been over a month. it’s not as relevant to me anymore. besides, my reputation wasn’t impacted as much as his.” you furrowed your brows “why do you care so much?”

3, 2, 1, pose! the camera clicked once more while the two of you managed to find a last minute pose.

seunghan let out an exasperated sigh. “i just want what’s best for you, y/n. you know that. but, whatever. i’m sorry angel. if you’re over it, then good, good that you put it past you.”

“it’s okay. i get it.” you reassured.

3, 2, 1, pose! the white light flashed, indicating the last picture was taken. when you got your photo strip, the third and final picture revealed seunghan with his arm over your shoulder, as he stared at you while you smiled at the camera.

the more you looked at the picture, the more it clicked in your head. and you realized, why seunghan got so overprotective over you.

taglist ! (bold = cannot be tagged) @hannicorpse @gyuvision @yvjw @chaevibes @sakiimeo @allforhee @streamluckybyriize @soobinbunnie5 @lalaisve @xyzyx01 @goldenmellow @ariluvssssss100 @brideslit @t0asterexe @ikeujyn @jaemified @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic @sirens-dreams @rikisgeef @i03jae @iheartshopping @wensurr @heartheejake @moonpri @nshmra-on-air @heeseungismymanz @st1llm0nster @ningx2stan @onlyhyunjin @d-dilemma @jjongarlic02 @wonkixo @kkamismom12 @jiyeons-closet @pshbites @haechansbbg @aeminju @xoxol3a @rairaiblog @kang-ulzzang @riksaes @kittsnewera @enhajungwonheart @madebylilia @orimuraa @heeheeswifey @artstaeh @r1kizerr @pinksdump @joyzluvr @academiq @sincerelyrki @tocupid

[sohnric]

a brief inquiry into online relationships – k. sunwoo

pairing: kim sunwoo x fem! reader

genre: enemies to lovers au, internet best friends au. friends to lovers au. gamer! sunwoo and gamer! reader. fluff, comedy. sunwoo has a big fat crush and is a bitchless loser but is also simultaneously being very annoying and mean sometimes:(

wc: 20k

warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos/jokes/flirting, the reader is referred to with she/her pronouns and called a girl! i call league players virgins :/ (and im right). certain parts are really chat heavy (but what do you expect from an internet best friend au am i right). the reader is said to have dyed hair! I wrote this with a friend in mind yall just get to read it 😔

there's only one person kim sunwoo treasures the most in the whole world, and that person is his internet best friend. there's also only one person kim sunwoo hates with a burning passion, and that person is you. well, imagine his surprise when he finds out... they are the same person.

playlist: fruit roll ups - waterparks / royalty - enhypen

I wrote and dedicate this fic to @csenke 🩷 happy birthday best friend, I hope you like your little present. I dont like being sappy in public, but do know that I love u the absolute most.

a/n: a HUGE thank you to @from-izzy for beta reading and helping me out with this fic so much, listening to me ramble and cry and hyping me up izzy, it means a LOT. thank you @sanaxo-o for beta reading a bit as well. 🫶🏻 ive wanred to write this fic for literally years so im glad it is finally out hihi.

The first time Kim Sunwoo has ever been accused of having a crush on a girl he hasn’t even met in real life yet was on October 11th, 2023. It was a few months after meeting the said girl online through a Minecraft server and talking to her during the night over a Discord call, not being able to fall asleep after and coming to class looking like a zombie from the deprivation of relaxation. After he said the story to his friend Changmin, he got laughed at and teased– all because he said he didn’t want to hang up on his online best friend yet, and she was so full of energy, and Sunwoo wanted to know what she had to say because she was so adorable gushing over how much she loved Paw Patrol as a kid and how she got some magnets for her fridge from her local grocery store and put Skye right in the middle, where she keeps her shopping list. 

Of course, Sunwoo refused this accusation. He does not have a crush on his online best friend– the girl he hasn’t even met in real life yet. He doesn’t like her, because let’s be real, he doesn’t even know what she looks like. Navigating the boundaries of an online friendship was already hard as it was for the boy– was he oversharing? Was he being too much, too annoying at times? – so asking for the girl’s socials outside of Discord or begging for a simple selfie in the chat is far away from the things he’s comfortable saying out loud to her. 

And Sunwoo can’t be into her– because he doesn’t even know her that well. He doesn’t even know where she lives or if the name she’s given him online is her legal name. What he does know, though, is that she’s the same age as him, she’s funny and pretty fucking cool, she has obscure interests like the Spiderman movies or collecting albums of her favorite kpop artists, and her voice is nice over the speakers of his laptop when the two of them call and play Minecraft together in the late hours of the night.

That’s not enough to develop a crush on someone, right?

Right…?

The first time Kim Sunwoo starts to question his own feelings for his friend is also, coincidentally, October 11th 2023. See, he might say that he’s not as dull as one would think after looking at him, but after the conversation he had with his best friend in the morning, something started to click. (Mainly because he just couldn’t stop feeling the blush creeping onto his cheeks, bashfulness filling his composure. Why is it so hard to deny the obvious?)

In the late hours of the night, Sunwoo logs onto the Minecraft server and walks around the world he’s created. He is on a mission of cheering his online friend up– she said something about an exam going terribly wrong in his Discord DM’s just a few hours ago, and although he tried his best to cheer the girl up over messages, he thinks he has to go an extra mile to remind her that life is not as rude and that she’s loved even when she feel like a disappointment. (Just the sentiment of the wording in his head is suggesting that he’s trying to stay oblivious to his own feelings– there is no doubt he is failing, though.)

He checks the people online in the server, noticing she’s not there yet– as he expected, since the girl usually logs on only a few minutes before midnight– which assures him that there is still time to execute his little plan. With a pep to his step, Sunwoo’s character moves through the terribly half-assed house he’s built (that his friend teases him for) and opens  one of the chests in his underground storage area. After taking everything he prepared earlier– for whatever reason, he’s not sure (or just trying to deny the obvious, once again)– he skips outside of the wooden building and runs towards the portal he built leading to her house last week. 

Once she saw the portal outside of her house, she asked him about it. To the question of why he wants easy access to her house at all times, he replied that it’s so he can rob her when she least expects it. Her and him both know she’s not the one keen on mining, so there’s not really much to steal in the first place, but to Sunwoo’s surprise (and relief), his friend dropped the topic quickly, moving on to the next one.

After the vision of his character finally clears and he is left standing right outside of her house– which is a stunning piece of architecture, by the way– he looks around for a bit to find the best place for his little offering.

He settles on the place by the front door of her house and gets to executing his little surprise. Opening the inventory of his character, Sunwoo takes out a bone meal and uses it on the grass blocks next to the door, making all sorts of flowers grow next to her humble abode. When he’s satisfied with the colored petals blooming in their digital world, the boy gets out the pink wool and digs into the remaining dirt blocks on the ground, replacing them with the rosy cubes and shaping them into a small, but telling heart. 

He stands back and admires his work for a bit, laughing at the ridiculous actions he caught himself doing. Sometimes he gains self-awareness in the weirdest of situations, and this is surely one of them– he prays his friend doesn’t log on in this exact moment. He would have no other choice but to jump out of his window and kill himself, he thinks.

Still, he follows up with his initial idea and places a chest next to the heart, filled with emerald and diamonds that he gathered over the last week. He worked hard on them and she kept whining that she still didn't have any– and although he’d like to keep them, he figures he can just get more the next time he’s alone in here, mining. 

A cherry on top is placed next to all of this– a wooden sign that he types “What if we put our Minecraft beds next to each other? xx” on, against all his thoughts telling him otherwise. 

This might be a terrible, terrible idea, he thinks. But the thought of making his best friend smile fuels the boy. Taking one last look at his masterpiece, he snickers. Yeah, Sunwoo. Maybe there really is no getting out of those allegations. Maybe he won’t tell about what he did to Changmin– and he’s lucky the boy doesn’t play Minecraft and has no way of finding out by playing on the same server as the two of you.

Sunwoo logs out of the game, sitting back in his chair. After scrolling through his Instagram for a bit, he hears the familiar sound of an incoming Discord call waking him up from the doom, making him breathlessly accept and wait for the girl’s voice to come out of his headphones, making him feel excited and on the tips of his toes.

“Ya, Steve, was it you who made that cute altar in front of my house?” she asks, making his heart skip a beat.

“Depends,” he hums, “did you like it?”

Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 o’clock sharp, Kim Sunwoo takes the role of the head of the Video Gaming club at his university. It’s quite an easy job, he’d say– since all his responsibilities lay in meeting up with the members of the club in an internet café once a week, playing a video game of their liking– and he also appreciates the fact that he has something to put onto his CV. The extra points towards graduation are also good, and so in reality, he has nothing to complain about– he likes video games and he also likes socializing.

There is just one thing he hates about the Video Gaming club, and that is the fact that Y/N Y/L/N, his best friend’s ex-girlfriend, managed to somehow infiltrate herself into the circle.

Now, you and Ji Changmin dated in the early stages of high school. The two of you met in Science class, and although Changmin wasn’t the smartest when it came to Chemistry, he still managed to make himself your designated helper in all experiments, just to make himself close to you. That slowly worked and the two of you started dating– for 2 months, that is– before you realized Sunwoo’s poor best friend wasn’t who you were looking for and you broke up with him, starting a new relationship with Park Sunghoon, the handsome ice skater from the private school downtown just 2 weeks later.

Changmin cried for three days straight and then one more day after he found out he was replaced, and since then, Kim Sunwoo has decided that he hates your guts– because no one makes his best friend sad. 

Every Tuesday afternoon, 6 o’clock sharp, you waltz into the internet café with your friend Aeri clinging to your side, both of you laughing about whatever you found amusing that day. The sound of your laughter is insufferable to Sunwoo’s ears and the sight of your dyed hair makes his stomach churn with acid– everything about you angers the boy, makes him all alert of your presence. For some reason, he can’t control his anger around you– everything you do infuriates him, makes him wish you were anywhere but in the same room as him.

Can’t you read the room? Do you not realize you’re not welcome here? This is Sunwoo’s territory, and for some reason, he thinks you should respect it. You haven’t spoken to each other in over 4 years, but that doesn’t mean he forgot about everything. Maybe you just keep showing up because you know he hates your guts– you do it out of spite.

Kim Sunwoo won’t have that, though. If there’s something about him that he makes perfectly known in the Video Gaming club, it’s that he is awfully competitive– and for once, he tries to use this quality of his for something good: getting you out of the club.

Because he might be the head of the club, sure, but that still doesn’t give him the permission to kick you out of it for no apparent reason. 

He figures making your life a living hell for the entire hour or two you’re in his presence every week would surely be sufficient enough. Surely, one day, you must have enough.

“There’s someone behind you, dude, watch out–” Intak calls from next to Sunwoo, helping his teammate out. 

Today’s game of choice is CS:GO– too bad for you, Kim Sunwoo is exceptional at shooting games.

He watches his screen and moves his mouse swiftly, shooting the opponent– he thinks it might’ve been Jaehyun or Chan– before they even have a chance at spotting him. His team– Terrorists– are winning by a mile, coincidentally having the best of the best in the group. He’s playing a perfect 5v5 game alongside Intak, Haechan, Yeji and…. and you. 

“Do you even have your screen on, Y/N?” he grunts from behind his computer, glaring at the screen. He notices you not really killing any opponents, and even though he understands that not everyone is going to be the best at every video game that gets played over the course of semester, he’s making sure to trash talk you each and every time you’re even an inch away from perfect.

“Fuck off, I’m trying.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” he snickers, pointing his gaze towards you only for a split second to watch you roll your eyes at his comment. An annoyed sigh escapes  your throat, making the boy’s veins reek with satisfaction.

“We’re winning anyway, so I don’t get why you’re so pressed about it,” you grunt, tucking your hair behind your ear as you play, momentarily taking your hand off the mouse.

Sunwoo notices your character in his point of view on the monitor– the nickname ‘ceo.Y/N’ shining proudly over the default skin of the terrorist figurine– when a bright, spiteful idea sparks up in his brain. The boy realizes he left the friendly fire option on when assembling the game room, and with that, he’s set on his decision.

You don’t deserve anything nice in Kim Sunwoo’s eyes– which is why he shoots you in the head the first moment he sees you, laughing to himself.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” he comments as he watches your character drop to the ground.

“What the fuck?! Yo, why did you do that?” you gasp, snapping your head around to point your daggers of eyes onto the boy, frustration dripping off your face. It does nothing to ruin the mood of the satisfied boy, only making him shrug and offer you his brightest smirk.

“You weren’t contributing anything to the game anyway,” he shrugs, “might as well sit this one out, Y/L/N.”

Yes. This one surely will teach you a lesson.

When Kim Sunwoo reaches his room after his shower– at 1 in the morning sharp and feeling too awake for the late hour, since all the hot water ran out due to his roommate’s greediness (curse Eric Sohn’s long ass showers)– he notices a notification shining on his phone in bright light, making him reach for his phone with curiosity. He doesn’t have many friends that would reach out to him at the late hours of the evening, since he talks to most of them during the day anyway, and so even subconsciously, as he reaches for his phone, he expects to see his online best friend’s username pop up in the notification bar.

And he was right– clicking on the Discord notification waiting for him at the top of the screen, he already feels his heart skipping a beat, his insides flowing with immediate warmth despite the cold shower he took just a few minutes ago.

Further shaking out the water out of his hair before plopping onto his bed and reading through the girl’s messages, the boy finds himself smiling at her profile picture. It’s a close up of her Minecraft character standing in front of the little display he put out for her– and he can’t help but feel like this is some sort of a soft launch. Of what, he doesn’t really know– since the two of them are far from dating– but that’s okay. It satisfies him enough. Nobody even really knows it’s him who she’s showing off, but to him, it holds the weight of the whole entire world.

sunpoodle [0:22] – a missed voice call sunpoodle [0:35] – a missed voice call sunpoodle [0:36] – so u dont like me anymore sunpoodle [0:38] – i see how it is sunpoodle [0:48] – everything ok tho? sunpoodle [0:54] – a missed voice call

Squinting at the screen, Sunwoo starts to type out his reply to his friend. Before he has the chance to click send, though, his phone lights up with the incoming voice call from her, leaving him to accept it almost immediately. He hears her voice coming out of his speaker after a few seconds of silence, having his ears perk up and heart beat a little faster.

“Damn, took you long enough,” she hums, making the poor boy chuckle. “I thought you were either dead or ignoring me.”

“I wasn’t,” he replies before settling deeper into his bed, going as far as putting a blanket over him to provide himself the most comfort, “I would never ignore you,” he lets himself speak out, a full body cringe taking over him the second he realizes just how far gone and infatuated he must sound with his friend.

“Oh, okay,” she says, “I was getting kinda worried, though.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah, we didn’t speak at all the whole day,” she replies. And she’s right– Sunwoo was too busy the whole day to text her or check in with her throughout the day. He was working on his assignments with Changmin and Juyeon in the library, and then he had to listen to Eric talk about his crush on the new girl from the café he works at. Before he knew it, it was late in the night and all he wanted to do was shower and go to sleep– his plan was thrown into the bin the moment he got back into his room, though. 

He might have not put his online friend as his priority during the day but if it comes to sacrificing sleep for her, he won’t even think twice.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, although something inside of him cheers at the fact that she cares about him enough to want his presence every day.“I was just busy with assignments and socializing.”

“You do that?”

“Strange, isn’t it?” he chuckles, poking fun at himself. There’s no doubt of him being an extrovert, but for the sake of hearing the girl laugh through his speaker– his insides squeezing on themselves with violent tenderness at the sound (what a contradiction)– he is content with simply ignoring the fact.

“What’s up, though?” he asks. “You usually don’t call and I have to pressure you into picking up in some way.”

“That’s not true.”

“Kind of is, when you think about it–”

“I just like to be persuaded,” she hums, making the boy chuckle. 

“Noted,” he says– and it might’ve been just a figure of speech, really, but there is a secret folder inside of his brain that he calls the girl-he-likes-folder, where he keeps all the information and random facts he learns about his friend safely, until he has a chance to use them. “But really, what is it? You seem uneasy,” he notes, making the girl laugh softly on the other end of the line.

There is some shuffling on the other side before he finally hears her voice again. Sunwoo furrows his brows at the ruckus, but he doesn’t mention it– maybe she’s just moving around the room, doing her own things as she talks to him on the phone. It makes his brain wander, though– imagining her cleaning her room, putting things away. Stacking some old papers or throwing stuff into the trash can. The image of his friend is always hazy in his mind– he was never really the most imaginative when it came to stuff he doesn’t know– but he still feels attracted to the girl in ways he can’t explain without sounding absolutely crazy to an outsider’s ear. He has no clear idea of her features– he doesn’t know how long her hair is, what her figure looks like, or what color her eyes are, but he still knows that to him, she’s absolutely beautiful and no reality he could see would break this image he has of her.

The fact that she’s calling him while going on with her life, as if he is an active, real part of it, makes him smile to himself. Every time the girl acknowledges her friendship with him, he feels like he’s on Cloud 9– he doesn’t really know why he needs that validation, though.

“This might sound stupid, but I just wanted to hear your voice,” she says nonchalantly through the speakers of his phone, and with that, Sunwoo is a goner. He feels the world stop turning for a while, his breath hitching in his throat. Something about the girl’s words makes his head spin and thoughts run laps around the walls of his skull– is it just him, or does that sentence sound strangely intimate?

“Why?” he asks on autopilot– because the annoying voice inside of him needs answers. 

“Hm? Oh, I dunno,” she quickly utters out before she makes a sharp turn in the conversation, completely disregarding her previous statement, “did I tell you about that party I’m invited to this weekend?” she asks instead, making the boy shake his head in disbelief and throw his face into his pillow to stop himself from screaming.

“No,” he sighs, “but tell me now.”

“Okay, so–”

The rest of their conversation is drowned out by his thoughts. Don’t get him wrong, he is actively listening to what she has to say– how she doesn’t know what to wear and she’s not sure if she wants to match with her best friend– but he is also subconsciously focused on the fact that the way she talks in her low tone, keeping her voice down to not wake up her roommate next door. It makes the atmosphere that much more sincere and intimate. He finds himself admiring his friend’s excitement and joy, the energy she has when she talks about how her day went and how she can’t stay keeping up with one topic for long– getting lost in the track somewhere along the way, making Sunwoo remind her what she was even talking about in the first place. Everything about the girl is mesmerizing to the boy, and before he has a chance to notice, he’s falling asleep to her rambling on the phone, eyelids heavy in comfort and sleepiness. 

“Are you still there?” she asks, receiving only a soft hum from the boy on the other side. “Am I boring you?”

“No,” he half-whispers, “I’m just comfortable. Keep talking,” he says, hugging his pillow to his chest and putting the phone next to his head. He hears a soft scoff on the other side of the line, a kind, sweet voice lullying him further into dreamland.

“Okay, keep using me as your bed time story, then,” she jokes, a tint of faux offense in her tone, “I’ll disconnect the call when you stop giving me fakely interested hums after every other sentence.”

And with that, Kim Sunwoo falls asleep to his online best friend talking his ear off on a Discord call. How could she ever think that wanting to hear his voice was stupid? He understands– he thinks that perhaps, he’d choose listening to her even over hearing his favorite song.

The idea of teaching you a lesson with his competitive nature is quickly thrown into the bin when the next week comes as the game his friends choose for the afternoon is one that he is not fond of. Why does he not like this game, you may ask? Well, simply put– he is absolutely terrible at it. 

The love for League of Legends is a telling sign of someone’s virginity, though, so Sunwoo thinks he can take pride in the fact that he is not a bitchless loser by playing it in his free time. (Don’t mention the fact that he is a Discord user and currently does not have a girlfriend. He will ignore it for the sake of his reputation.)

“I’ll go bottom,” Intak says as he chooses his champion in the lobby, making Sunwoo huff. He’s not really good at playing the mage, he’s terribly, terribly bad at going jungle, and tanks and fighters are equally as easy for him to play as learning the Pi number by heart (very difficult). Soon enough though, he finds that the rest of the roles are quickly divided in his team, and that leaves him nothing else to do than to just humbly take the responsibility of the middle lane, equipping the only champion he’s played before– Fizz.

With him locking in his character, the image on his monitor morphs into the loading screen, letting him once again scan the names that belong to his team. Having 10 members in the club is easy enough to divide into two teams by 5, which he is thankful for, but the teams are almost always randomly selected– which makes him angry only at times where he gets the obviously weaker players. 

This time around, surrounded by Intak and Yangyang teaming up on the bottom, Soobin taking over the jungle and Yeji resigning on the top lane, Sunwoo is satisfied to see he at least doesn’t share a team with you this time around– because that means he can do everything in his power to make your life a living hell while playing the game.

“Try not to die in the first few seconds, Sunwoo,” Soobin snickers as the game starts and the boy aimlessly moves towards the middle of the map, moving his character with the mouse. Sunwoo only salutes at the taller boy, making him giggle.

“I’ll try not to, boss!”

Sunwoo’s quest in this game is to protect the tower and farm as much as he can– so that destroying the opponent’s tower is easier and opens up the shortest way to the enemy. After seeing how his character moves in the game– don’t make fun of him but after so much time since he last played the game, he’s forgotten– he puts his head into his hands and mourns, noticing that he foolishly chose an assassin. It’s not that they’re bad per se, it’s just that Kim Sunwoo is much better at League of Legends when he has some distance from the opponent. Which, when he wants to attack, is not a feature Fizz awards him with. 

Much to his surprise though, the middle lane seems to be empty. There is no one from the opposite team walking up to him and trying to start combat, and that puts him at ease. Maybe he can do his job right– for at least a few minutes before the tower is damaged enough that the enemy realizes they need to protect it. 

And so clueless Sunwoo enters the circle under the tower, attacking it with the red minions by his side, veins flowing with satisfaction that hey– maybe he will be successful with something in this game. He surely doesn’t need the validation of his team, but look– all he needs is to not embarrass himself in the process of playing this game. His pride is precious to him. 

The talk around the internet café slowly drowns out around him, providing him only a background noise. He doesn’t need to listen to his team’s strategy– he knows he isn’t really included in it, as the weakest link. Hyperfocusing on the game, he almost jumps when two characters suddenly appear from the bushes– not skilled enough, Sunwoo didn’t think to check them when he arrived in the middle of the map– attacking him.

The nicknames aerichandesu and ceo.y/n shine proudly above the characters of Annie and Vi, both of the females cornering him and making him scowl at the screen. You don’t do much damage to him, he notices, but there is something about the way Aeri plays that tells him that he is royally fucked in this game.

Only a few seconds of combat pass before the banner saying First blood appears on the top of the screen, embarrassing him and making the rest of the team laugh at his death. He finally acknowledges that he was tricked, and as the seconds pass of him waiting to be revived, his eyes meet yours from across the room– and oh how he wishes to wipe that smirk off your face.

“As expected,” Soobin chirps from Sunwoo’s right, making the poor boy sigh and cross his arms defensively at his chest.

“They teamed up on me!”

“That’s the point, sweetheart,” Yeji hums from the corner of the room, “you’d know that if you knew how to play.”

“Oh, shut up, you losers…” he grunts as his character revives, making him hurriedly move towards his designated place again, noticing his team’s tower slowly falling apart due to leaving you in there unwatched. 

Once he appears back under his tower, he watches you retract from your place. Sunwoo takes this as his opportunity to show you that one on one, you’re not going to win against him– and so he chimes forward after you, using Fizz’s trident to deal you magic damage over the next couple of seconds. The clicking of his mouse onto your character resonates through the crowded café and the banners showing his teammate’s successful kills do nothing to help him focus on the task at hand– but your health bar is slowly dropping, and that satisfies the male.

“Not so strong without Aeri now, are you?” he teases, watching as you aimlessly start to run away from him, no longer focusing on killing his character.

He doesn’t get a verbal reply from you, but one thing is certain– the poor male forgot to keep a check of his own health bar, and while chasing after you with greediness, wanting to be the one to get you down, he foolishly gets shot down by the enemy minion following him. The kill is still written off to you though, and when his screen freezes with the death announcement, he watches you cheer– eyes glimmering and a victorious smile spreading across your cheeks– before you high-five with your best friend to your right.

Turns out that maybe you don’t need Aeri to carry you in League of Legends. At least not when it’s Kim Sunwoo you’re playing against– and that puts him at a big of a disadvantage.

Is this how you feel every time he conspires against you? Because if so, he has to applaud you– you have an awfully big patience. He can handle it for one Tuesday out of the semester, but if he was in your place, he’d be running away from the room the moment he dies in the game again, all because of you.

Running around, out of breath and heaving for oxygen, Kim Sunwoo starts to contemplate if all of this was even a good idea. He should’ve known the whole thing was bound to be a failure when the first mishaps started happening, but against his best assumptions, he decided to go on with it and try to figure things out. 

The first thing wrong with this whole entire thing is that it wasn’t even his idea in the first place. Hyunjae suggested that the whole friend group goes to play laser tag at the end of the week, to wind off a little before finals. And Sunwoo agreed– because that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?– and expected to just read out the details of it in the groupchat. He thought turning up to the place would be the only thing he had to do, but oh how he was wrong. 

Lee Hyunjae decided he didn’t really feel like going to laser tag on the single day where all of them were free– which meant that they either cancel the whole thing or go without him. And since Eric Sohn was all too excited for the idea, Sunwoo decided he won’t disappoint his dear roommate– in fears of getting sabotaged or killed in his sleep if he declines– leading into making Kim Sunwoo being in charge of the whole thing because as the only Aries of the group, he takes his leadership seriously when he has to.

And so he sucked it up and called the laser tag place, asking for a reservation for 5. Another failure hit him in the face when he was announced that they can only let them play if they have a group of ten people, and before he had the chance to let the rational part of his brain take over and cancel the plans, he was left agreeing and saying he will find 5 more people to come with them. 

Sunwoo figured that Eric, as the born extrovert, will have no problem finding 5 more people for the laser tag game. He was wrong, though, when his friend announced that all of his friends magically have some plans for that exact Friday– he thought that there’s a party that somehow, only the loser friend group he is partaking in wasn’t attending, for some reason– and Eric could only think of one person that would come, which left Sunwoo with solving the issue of finding 4 more people to come to play laser tag with him.

So he brought out the big guns– the Video Gaming club group chat. 

sunwhooo [9:31]: hello friends i need 4 people to join us for laser tag tomorrow sunwhooo [9:31]: anyone down meet us there at 5pm

And with that, he considered the task done. Too over with the whole thing and too tired of being the only one with common sense in his friend group, he didn’t check who agreed to his invitation. He figured that someone will either show up, or they will shamefully go home. Which option it’s gonna be is the problem of the day after– in this moment, he needed sleep.

He appeared in front of the laser tag arena on Friday, 4:45 sharp, waiting for his group to arrive. He felt like one of those tour guides in the middle of big cities– all he was missing was a flag in his hand, or an umbrella– either or– waving around and calling out for his friends. Five minutes after him, Changmin and Juyeon arrived, tailed by Eric and a boy that’s introduced to him as Jake Sim– who is, just by the way, a carbon copy of Sunwoo’s dear roommate both with energy and some of their small mannerisms. 

Five minutes before they were supposed to enter the arena and get the safety tutorial on how to play, 2 members of his club came up, smiling widely ear to ear. If Sunwoo had to guess who would say yes to his invitation the fastest, Myung Jaehyun and Lee Donghyuck would be first in line– and he was right. 

“Where’s the rest of you?” he asked after greeting the boys, and right in this moment, after hearing their reply, was when he knew he should’ve canceled the plans the moment Lee Hyunjae turned down his own offer.

“Y/N and Aeri’s bus was late, but they’re on their way now!” Jaehyun said, smiling ear to ear. “Y/N texted you in the groupchat, but I don’t think you saw it.”

“Pretty sure I have her number blocked,” he grunted under his breath, sighing to himself. Was it too late to leave now…?

“What?”

“Nothing.”

And that’s how he ends up in this mess. You and your best friend arrive 2 minutes late, but you’re still let in– much to Sunwoo’s dismay. Everyone seems to be excited– almost too excited– when they choose to play the game in the complete darkness, and before Sunwoo has a chance to protest, he is thrown into the laser tag game, nothing but a laser gun in his hand and a vest with the sensoring clutching to his chest.

He can’t see anything, he’s constantly bumping into the obstacles, the arena is too big for his own liking– because he doesn’t really know where he is and can’t see anyone else, making him feel strangely alone and kind of afraid– and it’s so hot inside that sweat is slowly dripping down his forehead, making him irritated.

Once in a while, he hears a scream from somewhere inside of the arena when two players meet. He contemplates just sitting on the ground and waiting for the game to pass– not really that mad about being the last one in the ranking– but the last remains of his pride are telling him to keep going, to keep trying.

He’s good at shooting games! What is he doing?

Taking a deep breath in and out, he makes a run for it– hoping he won’t be met with the wall and break his neck in the process (now that would really take the crown for the worst thing that could happen in relation to the laser tag), before he’s met with the sound of footsteps in his ears, making him painfully alert of his surroundings.

Turning his head around, trying to see where the sound is coming from and who he has to protect himself from– or shoot and get some points in, that is– he feels his body meeting full speed with another person, a yelp coming out of their throat right before the sound of clothes rustling and body mass hitting the floor resonates through the place.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, dropping the gun, “are you okay?” he asks, genuine concern lacing his tone. 

“Watch where you’re going, for fuck’s sake!” he hears your voice call out of him… and the last remains of genuine concern leave his body at that, irritation swimming to the shore.

“How the fuck am I supposed to watch where I’m going when you fuckers chose to play in complete darkness?!” He yells over the music– that is, just for the record, an atrocious EDM remake mix of early 00s songs– and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness for some more, watching the outline of your figure on the ground slowly appear in his retina.

Acting on auto-pilot, though, the boy reaches out an arm towards you, trying to help you to your feet. The view of your face is hazy in his eyes but he can still make out the scowled expression you offer him before you take his hand and let him drag you to a standing position.

“So much sympathy in one man, wow,” you grunt, shaking your head at him once you’re standing tall in front of him. “Wouldn’t hurt to apologize, you know–”

“This clearly wasn’t my fault–”

He starts, but stops himself mid-sentence when he sees you point the laser gun towards him, shooting. The interaction is short– it goes by almost too fast for him to register it– and before he has a chance to let the sensor cool down and aim towards your chest as well, you’re running away from him, full speed skillfully through the maze. 

“Hey!” he yells out, but is much slower at following you. Is he doing something wrong? Why is everyone suddenly so good at navigating the space?

And while Kim Sunwoo is competitive– there was an agreement that the last place pays for everyone’s meal after– sometimes, his spirit is overshadowed by his emotions. Frustrated, irritated and a little mad, although he pays much effort into shooting at his opponents and gathering up all the points he lost while he was aimlessly walking through the place like a blind man, he just can’t seem to catch up and crawl out of the last place.

Standing outside of the room and looking at the scoreboard after, having the rest of the team pat his shoulder and thank for the meal, his eyes land on you as you’re the last one to leave the arena aside from him.

“Looks like being good at CS:GO isn’t enough to be good at shooter games in real life, huh?” you tease, pouting at the scoreboard in mock sympathy. “Thank you for the meal, Sunwoo. I’d like a large fry and a cheeseburger, by the way. Make it extra cheese.”

Maybe he should’ve canceled the laser tag the first moment he wanted to. 

You know what? Maybe he should cancel the Video Gaming club altogether, while he’s at it.

Sitting around the study room in the library, accompanied by Eric and Changmin arguing about something and enveloped in a gray, fuzzy hoodie, Kim Sunwoo lets himself roll his eyes at the aimless quarreling and puts the hood of his sweater up, leaning back on the uncomfortable chair. After a couple of minutes spent listening to the fight– that’s about the assignment at hand, just for your information– Sunwoo feels himself zoning out of the room before he’s brought back to reality by the buzzing of his phone on the table with the incoming notification.

At this point of the uneventful afternoon, he would’ve replied back to anyone within a few minutes– anything to pass time, he figures– but when his eyes zone in on the name on his screen, he is left clicking at the Discord bar quicker than the speed of light.

sunpoodle [6:44]: can u call rn? notsteve [6:45]: no notsteve [6:45]: im at the library rn notsteve [6:45]: why

“You can’t just completely ignore that point of the essay, because it’s going to look like we didn’t do enough research,” Changmin argues his point in the background, the loud voice of Sunwoo’s roommate almost startling him as he tries to prove otherwise.

“We can’t just include every. single. point. in it, though, or else it’s gonna become a wholeass bible at this point.”

“Better to exceed the word count than to hand in an unfinished essay–”

sunpoodle [6:48]: oh so u hate me notsteve [6:48]: pretty sure this is emotional manipulation

“What do you think, Sunwoo?” Eric speaks up, turning his head towards the last boy of the three– the only one that hasn’t spoken up about the matter yet. It’s true that he didn’t really do much work on the actual essay yet– only some very, very brief research last night– but that didn’t mean he suddenly felt like doing much more. 

“Hm? Me?” 

sunpoodle [6:49]: dont care sunpoodle [6:50]: youre probably with some other bitches

“Yeah,” Changmin chimes in, “say your part. It’s three of us here, so the majority will go. What do you think?”

“Oh, I don’t really care…” Sunwoo hums without much thinking, eyes glued to his phone screen.

notsteve [6:51]: ??? sunpoodle [6:52]: anyways i just wanted to show you my child sunpoodle [6:52]: but you’re clearly not interested so

“Are you even listening?” Eric asks.

Sunwoo hums in response, automatized. Did the words really register in his brain? You can bet they didn’t.

“Are you texting that online girl again?” Changmin scoffs, Sunwoo’s ears perking up just a little bit at the mention of his friend.

“Yeah.”

notsteve [6:53]: a child??? notsteve [6:53]: is this another sylvanian families toy  sunpoodle [6:54]: no:(( notsteve [6:54]: what is it then notsteve [6:54]: because we both know youre not responsible enough to have a child

“Still can’t believe you developed a crush on a girl you don’t even know,” Eric sighs from next to him, the previous topic of their conversation long gone when it means he can make fun of his roommate for being absolutely, totally infatuated with a girl in his phone screen.

“How can you even know she’s real?” Changmin jokes. “For all you know, that could be a 50 year old white male trying to get nudes out of you,” he adds, making the shortest boy snort at the comment.

“I don’t have a crush on her,” is all that leaves Sunwoo’s mouth, although his tone is not very argumentative– just mindlessly spoken out, most of his attention still glued to his messenger app.

sunpoodle [6:55]: are you underestimating me?? sunpoodle [6:55]: im offended sunpoodle [6:56]: might just block u. and here i was considering sending u a pic of my dog…

“Sure you don’t,” Eric sighs, “because you’re totally not smiling like an idiot right now.”

“Shut the fuck up…” Sunwoo breathes out, rolling his eyes. The smile on his face freezes and drops at the unnecessary comment, but his cheeks grow a soft pink hue to them, only further proving his friends’ point.

notsteve [6:56]: A DOG????”,?” notsteve [6:56]: show it to me notsteve [6:56]: show it to me rachel!!!!

“When are you going to ask her for a picture or something?” Changmin pries, kicking his friend to his shin under the table.

“When she asks first,” he shrugs, “I don’t wanna sound like a creep.”

“I bet you already do,” Eric jokes, making his roommate glare at him. 

“Besides, we call often,” Sunwoo shrugs, “I know she’s not a 50 year old man. And so far, I’m content with this. It’s not like it would be going anywhere in the first place.”

“You don’t know that,” Changmin says, and something about that sentence makes Sunwoo momentarily glance away from his phone screen, furrowing his brows at the male.

“Yeah,” Eric chimes in, “you don’t even know where she lives. For all you know, she could be just down the street and you two could be going on embarrassing lan party dates together, or something.”

“Or– and get this–” Sunwoo ironically argues, “she could live on the other side of the country. Which, logically speaking, is much more likely.”

“You never know until you don’t ask,” Changmin shrugs, “I mean, it doesn't hurt to know.”

Shuffling his feet under the table, Sunwoo thinks to himself. There is a reason why he never really asked his online best friend any personal questions– and that is because he was simply afraid. Afraid of what he might find out.

No matter the distance, it’s scary for Sunwoo to know about his friend’s whereabouts. Because if she lives far, it means the chances of ever meeting her are unlikely. If she lives close, the chances rise– but he’s also completely terrified of the chance to meet her because, to put it blankly, he is petrified of the image his online friend would have of him when she meets him in real life.

Hiding behind the cloak of the internet is much easier for the boy. His friend doesn’t know what he looks like, what his mannerisms are in real life. And it’s not like he is faking his personality online– because truth be told, he’s acting the same way in his Minecraft server then he would in any real life situation– it’s just that he is strangely insecure of if he’d still be liked in the same way, had his friend met up with him in real life. He’s nervous of awkward silence. He’s stressed out about the fact that maybe he won’t click as well with the girl he met online. It’s all strange and new to him, and that’s why he never really dares to ask.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “it’s all just kind of weird.”

At this point, he doesn’t know if he fears meeting up with his friend online, or never seeing her with his own two eyes more. 

sunpoodle [6:57]: doggo sunpoodle [6:58] – sends one picture sunpoodle [7:02]: wow youre ignoring me again sunpoodle [7:05]: why do i even try at this point… sunpoodle [7:08]: teaching my dog to bite u if he ever meets u irl notsteve [7:09]: how are u gonna do that notsteve [7:10]: BUT OMG THATS SUCH A CUTE DOG notsteve [7:10]: BEST BOY sunpoodle [7:11]: i have my ways… sunpoodle [7:11]: but he says thank u so i guess we will let it go for now

Sunwoo chuckles at your reply, making the rest of the boys in the room look at each other with knowing eyes, shaking their head in disbelief. It’s not that they’re disapproving of their friend’s little (big) crush on the girl he met online– they’re supportive of whatever makes their dear bundle of sunshine happy– they just fear that this whole thing… might not end the best for the young gamer.

notsteve [7:12]: u like me too much to make your dog bite me notsteve [7:12]: admit it sunpoodle [7:13]: im resuming with my lecture!! sunpoodle [7:13]: he is small and fat but he is strong. do be afraid notsteve [7:14]: all that for not paying attention to you for 5 minutes? notsteve [7:14]: your actions speak for themselves, honey <33

“Right…” Eric awkwardly clears his throat, calling the attention of the enamoured boy, “shall we dwell deeper into your online relationship, or do you want to help us with the group essay for a change?” He asks while kicking the boy into his shin lightly, to make sure he has his full attention.

“Essay please,” he replies, nodding to himself. There is no way he is going into details of the embarrassing crush he has on the girl living in his phone.

sunpoodle [7:15]: what can i say life isnt fun without my jasper :// notsteve [7:15]: try not to die as i work on this assignment sunpoodle [7:16]: dont lie u dont do those notsteve [7:16]: unfortunately i do:(( notsteve [7:16] – sends one picture

Sunwoo points his camera so only a part of his laptop is shown with the study room in the background– making sure neither his friends or him are in the picture– before sending it to his friend. It’s not like she needs proof– Sunwoo knows that despite the playful teasing, she understands his need to put in some work into his education– he just feels like slowly testing the waters with sharing more and more of his real life with his online best friend.

“Okay, so let’s get back to what we were talking about before,” Changmin says, “I was thinking we should at least briefly talk about the points that are against what we’re trying to argue here, but Eric says it would completely disregard like, half of our work, so…”

sunpoodle [7:17]: wait is that at SNU notsteve [7:18]: yea notsteve [7:18]: how’d you know sunpoodle [7:18]: oh my god ?? sunpoodle [7:18]: i study there too

You know what? Forget the assignment– it’s due in a week. It can wait 7 more days.

“Guys, uh…” Sunwoo hums, hands shaking and his heart doing somersaults in his chest, “I’d actually like to go back to the topic of my online friend for a sec…”

Although Kim Sunwoo feels like the world stopped turning– or shifted in its axis, either or– since he learned about the fact that his internet best friend goes to the same university as him, and therefore, could be just about anyone he sees in the halls on a day to day basis, much to his dismay, it did not. The world didn’t stop turning and nothing really changed, all events happening around him as if he wasn’t just gifted with the life changing information: and that meant that besides the exam week fastly approaching him, he still had to host the Video Gaming club the Tuesday after.

He still has to turn up to the internet café and take the attendance sheet with him, even though the groupchat announced to him that they’re all going to study for the incoming exams instead. Because the rules are rules– as the head of the club, Kim Sunwoo has to host the meetings every week, or else the rights for the club will be revoked and all the privileges that come with having one will be taken away from him before he even has a chance to blink.

It’s already bad that he will be the only one on the attendance sheet– if he doesn’t decide to fake some signatures, that is– but now, he is alone and bored, and as it turns out, playing games alone isn’t as fun as playing them with someone else. The competitive nature in him yearns for multiplayer games, it longs for the social contact he so effortlessly has with someone when playing a video game with them. He thinks he built a decent group out of the other video game lovers at this university, and he didn’t even realize it up until now– when he’s sitting alone in the internet café, in the far back on one of the couches. 

At least he has the chance to test out the new Playstation console they installed here.

Legs spread wide on the small couch, having the whole place for himself, Sunwoo turns on the Test Drive Unlimited game, clicking through the settings. He is not a big fan of racing games in general, but he figures it’s the only game that he can play alone and still have at least some fun, and so after picking out a fancy car to drive around the world, he focuses on racing and fulfilling the side-quests the best he can.

Until a figure squeezes itself right next to him, startling him. “Oh, Jesus!”

“It’s Y/N, actually,” you snicker, making the boy’s mood drop at least two notches, eyebrows furrowing at your sudden arrival. What are you even doing here? He thought no one was available this week?

“You came?” he asks, and despite the sincerity of the question, the tone sounds kind of spiteful.

“Yeah,” you shrug, “am I not allowed here? I thought the club is on every Tuesday?” 

“It is,” he agrees, a hint of annoyance in his voice, “I just didn’t expect you to come.”

“Didn’t expect, or didn’t want?”

“Both,” he grunts, before he turns his head towards the screen again, ignoring your presence completely. The noises coming out of the console provide you two with some background music, but it’s still not enough to diffuse the tense atmosphere. Sunwoo hates every second of you by his side– your thighs touching in the small space due to his dominant manspreading– even the sound of you breathing making him immensely annoyed.

“What’s your problem with me anyway?” you suddenly speak up, breaking the silence. Something about the way you ask the question puts a dagger through Sunwoo’s heart, for some reason, but he doesn’t dare to drop his tough facade.

“I don’t like you, that’s all,” he shrugs nonchalantly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he focuses back onto the game, trying hard to not fail at his sidequest. Everything but focus on the difficult conversation beginning to take place right in this moment, right? 

And why do you even care? It’s not like the two of you are friends– anything close to that, even.

“Why?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “I mean, I don’t get it. I did nothing wrong, and you seem to be getting on fine with the rest of the girls, so I don’t think that’s the problem here,” you lightly laugh, trying to take some weight off the situation.

Sunwoo’s jaw hardens. He doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. 

“At first I thought it was just harmless teasing, something you do for fun or attention, but then I realized you were being serious about it, so I really… I really just wanna know what’s the deal behind all of this,” you grunt, swinging your arms in the air at the last word, putting more emphasis on the end of the sentence. You’re starting to get frustrated, and that’s slowly ticking off Sunwoo’s patience.

“Oh, you don’t know?” he scoffs, turning his head to you. “Then you’re even worse than I thought.”

“What are you even talking about?” you yelp out, the eyes of others in the internet café turning towards you with furrowed brows, annoyed glares pointed at your little commotion due to being disturbed while playing their favorite games.

“You’re my friend’s ex, that’s why,” he mutters, before scoffing at you and pointing his eyes back to the TV screen. 

There is a moment of silence following his confession. He’s not sure what is the reasoning behind it– if you’re rocking your head, trying to remember what he’s talking about, or if you’re just shocked that he is so loyal to his friend. Maybe you’re in disbelief. Maybe you feel ashamed. Truth be told, Sunwoo doesn’t really care.

“Ji Changmin?” you ask, suddenly sounding surprised. “This is about Ji Changmin?” 

Sunwoo hates the way you sound almost… amused? 

“You can’t be serious. That happened over 4 years ago! There’s no way either of you is still hung up about that,” you say, shaking your head at him in disbelief.

The boy snickers, talking to you, but not really offering you any eye contact as he continues on with his game. “Maybe you didn’t think it was serious, but I surely won’t like someone who did my friends wrong.”

“Sunwoo, we were kids.”

“Does that mean it didn’t count?” he scoffs.

“Yeah, basically,” you bluntly agree, a bitter laugh escaping your throat. “Ask Changmin. I’m sure he barely even remembers–”

“Well, I remember him crying over you for two weeks straight, so maybe stop bragging into spaces where you’re not welcome,” he snaps, finally looking at you.

He chose a bad moment to have eye contact with you, though. The second the words leave his mouth, hurt flashes by your face, your expression instantly dropping. Your orbs get a little sadder and there’s a wrinkle between your eyebrows that makes Sunwoo’s stomach drop, guilt washing over him in waves strong like tsunami. Realistically, he shouldn’t care about hurting your feelings– by his logic, you must have even deserved it– but there is something in him that wants to physically crawl out of his skin and give himself a big, fierceful slap across his face for the words he just said.

Because who is he to tell you you’re unwanted in the club? The other people there like you. Everyone gets on with you just fine– it’s not Sunwoo’s right to ban you from the space he created, just because he has personal vendetta against you.

You’re not even doing anything wrong… Maybe he did fuck up.

“O-okay–”

“No, wait,” he hurriedly says, reaching out an arm towards you instinctively so he can stop you if you wanted to leave. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I care about my friends a lot, that’s all. It’s… nothing personal,” he explains, humming to himself.

Except he’s lying, and you both know that. Everything about this was nothing but personal– the targeted jokes, the mean comments, the rude energy he has towards you any time you show up. Everything about his behavior and his annoyance whenever you are around is personal, because it involves you, and only you. 

There’s no way he can save himself now, though. The words are already said and out there, and even though he regrets them, there is no way Kim Sunwoo is apologizing.

A cloak of silence falls over the two of you again but this time, it’s slowly eating Sunwoo alive. It’s biting on his arms and crawling on his insides, carving out every harsh word he’s said to you into skin, making it unbearable for the boy to continue just aimlessly sitting next to you. He has to do something.

“Do you want me to leave?” you ask in a soft, quiet voice– a tone slightly familiar to him. It makes his ears perk up and his stomach squeeze on itself. It’s a weird, visceral reaction, but he won’t really allow himself to put much importance into it.

Instead, he sighs and turns to you with the controller in hand, offering you a soft, guilty smile. “No,” he shakes his head, “you can pick your own car and play for a while as I order us some snacks, if you wanna. I’m also pretty sure there’s Smash bros on it, in case you wanna play with me when I get back.”

The air is tense and awkward, and Sunwoo curses himself from the way events unraveled. He feels like he is betraying his best friend, in a way, but the guilt he carries in him is too big to not try to dissolve. 

You take the controller from him and nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. He thinks this might be the beginning of truce– not a friendship, just tolerance– between the two of you, but he is soon taken out of his delusions when he sees you clicking off the game and opening Smash bros instead. 

In that moment, he knows he is going to get his ass kicked, and he knows it’s going to be personal.

The remote control in his hands feels like a weapon after he managed to finally stick the strip of LED lights all around the ceiling– and with how things have been going (the previous ones not working and them falling down every few seconds this time around), it might as well turn into one if it turns out he failed at installing his newest room decor again. He will use it against himself, he thinks– there is not much will to live left in him after the whole day, leaving him weak and exhausted.

Praying a little before trying for one last time, Sunwoo clicks on the red button of the remote control in his palm, squeezing his eyes shut– and after wishing on all 11:11s and all eyelashes, it seems– the LED lights finally turn on and illuminate his room with a dark red glow that he quickly turns towards a more muted purple, because it’s easier on his eyes and he kind of doesn’t want his room to look like literal hell upon walking in.

The boy’s heart leaps in his chest. It finally worked– he is every gamer girl’s dream! (And to stay true to the statement, he reaches towards his phone, clicking on the Discord app, approaching the one he dreams about.)

notsteve [10:45]: ive got these really sick lights if u wanna come over ;;) notsteve [10:45]: they tried to scam me twice but omg look notsteve [10:46] – sends 1 video notsteve [10:46]: they can change colors hihihii

Ever since the moment Kim Sunwoo learned that his dear online best friend loves to be persuaded– her words, not his– alongside with the new knowledge of the fact that they both walk across the same halls and visit the same lecture rooms, the dynamic he had with the girl shifted just the tiniest bit.

First of all, they call more often. Not only during the late hours of the night, but also during the day– whenever either of them feels like chatting for a while. There is also an increased volume of voice memos and random pictures of their surroundings, which didn’t use to happen before. And believe me, Sunwoo doesn’t want to honk his horn too much, but he swears the amount of casual flirting increased at least twice the size– from his side anyway. But he promises his friend is reciprocating! Hell, she even starts it sometimes! You have to believe him.

sunpoodle [10:47]: and here i thought you died notsteve [10:48]: almost notsteve [10:48]: i couldnt get it up :((  sunpoodle [10:48]: i didn’t know that was a problem ://

Sunwoo snorts at that, heat rising to his cheeks at the comment. 

notsteve [10:49]: god i hate u notsteve [10:50]: no that’s not a problem for me sweetie notsteve [10:50]: i can show you if u come over cough

The moment he sends the last message, he regrets it. Every day he spends talking with his friend, the boundaries and lines get pushed and pushed, and he can’t seem to know why. Is it the prospect of maybe meeting her one day? The idea of somehow sweeping the girl off her feet and getting to know her beyond the level that the online space gives him– in a more deep, personal way?

Why does the idea of getting to see her with his own eyes, the idea of touching her, make the poor boy so flustered and excited? It’s not like either one of them actually initiated any real meeting in the first place– all of it was just half-jokes and invitations. He wonders when the day comes when he will be able to just nod and say yes to any of it– he wonders when she will feel comfortable enough to actually set a time and place, ordering to meet him there. He would drop anything– cancel any plans– just to run and meet her. 

sunpoodle [10:53]: i could get convinced sunpoodle [10:53]: to see the lights irl i mean sunpoodle [10:54]: nothing else…..cough sunpoodle [10:54]: youll have to clean first tho 

After the replies flood in, Sunwoo immediately relaxes. The girl doesn’t seem uncomfortable– quite the opposite, actually– and so he takes it as a sign to continue the playful nature of things, subtly pushing the idea of a meet-up more and more. For some reason, Sunwoo feels like it should happen soon– although no time is running out, he feels pressure somewhere in the bottom of his stomach and quiet buzzing in his fingertips any time the thought of his friend crosses his mind– and he knows it will only go away if he finally meets the girl. (Or it might even get worse– either way, he desperately needs to find out.)

notsteve [10:56]: my room is super clean!! notsteve [10:56]: and my bed is comfy sunpoodle [10:57]: proof or im just gonna assume youre lying

The boy tussles in his bed, his hair getting messy in his sheets. The music playing in the background only further pushes the intimate atmosphere, and so after receiving your message, he doesn’t waste much time in opening his camera and putting effort into the angle of the picture he’s going to send you.

He makes sure not much of his face is shown. His phone screen mirrors mostly the white fabric of his pillow– that is now tinder purple with the LED lighting– but in the right corner, the majority of his tousled hair is shown. It looks soft against the sheets and he makes no real effort in tidying it, since he thinks it adds to the aesthetics of the picture. A glimpse of his face appears in the picture as well– only his left eye, though. It looks sleepy, hooded, and after squinting at the screen for a few seconds, Sunwoo decides to hit send. 

The line is once again pushed a bit farther, making him wonder if his friend will follow in his footsteps and send a similar photo back. It’s secretive enough, yet also daring enough to make the other side wonder and fantasize– what does the rest of his face look like? Did she see him around? Does she recognise his face? 

…does she find the glimpse attractive? (God, Sunwoo, get a fucking grip!)

notsteve [11:02] – sends one picture sunpoodle [11:03]: i feel like a victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time

The reaction makes Sunwoo’s heart pick up at pace, a dumb smile running to his cheeks. If anyone saw him right now, he’d get bullied and picked on until the rest of his life– it’s hard to hide the feelings he tries to keep under control, though. It’s already difficult enough to deal with them on his own– he bets bottling it all up and pretending they don’t exist would even result in making it all that much harder.

notsteve [11:04]: WDYMMMMM notsteve [11:04]: be serious for once sunpoodle [11:04]: oh i AM serious sunpoodle [11:04]: i mean that bed sure does seem comfy o:))

Sunwoo feels like he is going to faint soon. Hell, he feels like the world is suddenly turning faster and it’s hard to keep up.

notsteve [11:05]: i heard its even comfier when you cuddle i mean what who said that sunpoodle [11:06]: im open to trying that out for myself

There are pools forming in Sunwoo’s palms during the course of the conversation, but they only deepen when he realizes that maybe he has to be the one to make the first step and initiate something actually real. Something that isn’t just mysteriously looking selfies in the chat or silly conversations about cuddling and meeting up that could turn into reality, but aren’t, and for what reason is making him absolutely insane.

And so he picks up all of his remaining courage and starts crafting the message inside of his head. How does he bring it up? How does he make it sound real? Like he’s being serious– that he wants to meet her and will turn crazy if it doesn’t happen soon? 

The semester ends in a few days and lord knows if his friend lives anywhere near the campus. Knowing that he wasted his only chance and opportunity would absolutely destroy him, no matter if it’s Christmas or not. 

Before he has a chance to send the carefully crafted message, though, the tone of a new message in his phone makes his attention perk up, reading out the words she’s sent to him via Discord and making his heart drop to the deepest pits of his stomach.

sunpoodle [11:10]: in all seriousness tho we should hang out sometime sunpoodle [11:10]: since we live on the same campus and all lmao sunpoodle [11:10]: (im trying to be so normal about this)

Well, that’s sudden. And unexpected. The boy feels himself grinning, resulting in biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from screaming out. It’s finally happening– and he wasn’t the one having to write it down first. It’s not only him that seriously wants to meet up, and that has him metaphorically bouncing against the wall of his newly decorated room.

notsteve [11:10]: oh my god its happening notsteve [11:11]: everyone stay calm sunpoodle [11:12]: LMAO bE SERIOUS FOR ONE SEC sunpoodle [11:12]: would love to meet outside of ur bedroom first tho  notsteve [11:13]: omg ofc that was just a jokey joke notsteve [11:13]: just tell me when and where n ill be there notsteve [11:14]: im free literally whenever except from when im not and even then ill make sure i cancel any other thing sooo sunpoodle [11:15]: what about after exams? sunpoodle [11:15]: im busy on tuesday but i can do any other day sunpoodle [11:16]: they opened a new café close to the campus if u wanna see?:)

Sunwoo feels on Cloud 9. It’s finally happening and it’s so close– in just a week. More than 7 days, sure, but it’s still close enough– much closer than never, as he once presumed. Tussling a little in his bed, he makes sure his mouth is covered with his pillow before he lets out the scream he’s been holding for the last few minutes. 

If Eric hears him, Sunwoo is gonna try to convince him that he just stubbed his toe. Nothing else.

The boy is painfully aware of the fact that he’s acting like a teenager in love for the first time– kicking his feet, giggling, thinking of his crush before falling asleep– but frankly speaking, he doesn’t really care. In just over 7 days, he can prove Ji Changmin and everyone wrong: he doesn’t have a crush on someone he hasn’t met before. Because in just over 7 days, he will meet the presumed love of his life and look at her with his own two eyes for the first time.

That day somehow feels more important than his own birthday. Maybe he should get the date tattooed… He’ll think about it.

When he finally takes his face out of the soft pillow, he notices his room went dark. When he reaches for the remote that belongs to the newly installed LED lights, he finds it not working. In any other circumstances, he’d consider either drowning himself in his bathtub or jumping out of his window– since he and Eric live on the 6th floor, it would be high enough to cause the damage needed– but right at this moment, he feels like nothing could ever break his mood again.

notsteve [11:20]: about the lights tho…

Sunwoo doesn’t really know how he grew to love video games. If he really thinks about it, perhaps he could say it was just how boys always turn out– fascinated with anything electric that had a cord attached to it (he once managed to make the power go out for the whole street when soldering his old pair of headphones that stopped working in one ear), but there was also something so fun about gaming that managed to make the boy stick to it– and that thing was how easy it was to make friends during it.

When he was little and his dad bought him his first game boy for Christmas, he not only managed to boost in front of everyone at school during recess by playing with it, but he also managed to lend the device to everyone who stared at it with even the tiniest bit of desire in their eyes for too long. Sunwoo knew not everyone was as fortunate as him, and playing it was so fun– he thought no one should go without trying the game boy at least once. The other kids at the playground kept going back to him to play with his toy and the friendships eventually blossomed to the point that the people around him stayed even beyond the video games– and that’s how Sunwoo met his first ever friend, Ji Changmin. 

Sunwoo always liked having a group of people around him. He enjoyed when his friends from high school would come over to his house and play with the Playstation console he begged for his birthday. He didn’t mind anyone borrowing his phone during class and trying to solve the most difficult level of Geo Dash (since he’s the one that got the farthest in the game), because it meant he got to talk to the desperate gamers during break and have someone to run to the convenience store to buy snacks with afterwards.

He loved going to internet cafés, because even though the initial friendship he had with Eric Sohn and Lee Juyeon came around because they asked him to play Valorant after finding the poor boy alone, waddling into the place completely lonely during his first week of university, the bond got deeper and he can’t imagine his life without the two men in it anymore.

Sure, video games are fun. He likes to play shooting games because he enjoys winning. The competitive nature in him thrives during video games– he loves to tease his opponent, he loves to show that he’s the best. Yeah, Kim Sunwoo enjoys spending his time in the virtual world, escaping the mundane reality. But if he really dwelled deeper on it, he doesn’t think playing Minecraft would be as enjoyable if he didn’t talk to his online friend on the server every day, or if him and his friends didn’t go out and eat dinner together after a round of Overwatch in the late hours of the day.

Which is why he created the Video Gaming club in the first place. To connect people– to play games with the ones who need a buddy in their life. It made him smile to see people that met because of his club hanging out together even outside of it– he felt like he was doing something good. Sunwoo prided himself in the fact that he was the one to connect people together through his hobby, that he could share precious moments and make precious bonds in his circle through gaming. 

Maybe that’s why the last meeting of the club for this semester made him so emotional. Truth be told, he didn’t think the Video Gaming club would make it big– hell, he thought not many people would care to show up each time. As a pat on his back of some sort, Sunwoo decides that the last game of the winter semester should be his favourite.

“Can’t believe you got us playing Minecraft of all games, what are we, 11?” Chan mutters from next to the club leader, making the boy snicker.

“Just say you’re embarrassed about the nickname you chose when you were 11.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Okay, mega_dino, I’ll believe you,” Sunwoo hums and nods, hearing his friends giggle as the younger one takes a hold of his gaming mouse.

Squinting his eyes at his screen, the club leader makes sure everything is set before the game starts. He already moved all of his important items from his main house into an underground hiding place of which coordinates he’d written down before getting to the internet café– knowing that his friends would want to sabotage him as soon as he lets them play on the server he carefully created. He knows letting them play on a different one would be much easier, but he kind of prefers to have the upper hand of owning a couple of diamond swords already, and he’s also too lazy to set up a new one. (And he would have to pay for it– which he isn’t really a fan of. Money is tight when you have to buy new LED lights off Temu every other week.)

“Are we starting already? I miss Minecraft,” Intak whines from the other side of the table, a glass of coke sitting in his hand.

“Why are you saying it like it’s a children’s game?” Sunwoo shakes his head at the comments. Ever since he announced the game of choice for the week, all he’s gotten were either complaints or dreamy sighs about how nostalgic it’s gonna be. Is Minecraft not cool anymore? Should he get a new hobby?

“Kinda is,” Yeji laughs, making the boy roll his eyes at her.

“You’re just mad you’re missing out on all the fun,” he argues, “heal your inner child a little. Make that pretty house you’ve always wanted!”

“I fuck with Minecraft,” an innocent voice lands into his ears from the opposite of him– a voice he would often curse out and cringe at just because of it’s sheer existence in his proximity, but now tolerates in favor of keeping peace in the room. The comment still startles him, though– he didn’t expect anyone to agree with his point. Not if it’s you, anyway.

“Can’t believe you two finally agree on something,” Aeri sighs from your side, the girl always glued to your hip. “You do realise you’re having an advantage if you’re letting us play on your server, though?”

“It’s not like we’re playing extreme survival tournament, come on guys–”

“You aren’t,” you shrug, “don’t really know about the rest of us,” you comment, meeting his eyes with a smug look, a teasing grin slowly slipping its way onto your lips.

“I’m banning anyone who tries to kill me today from the club,” Sunwoo suddenly announces, making everyone sigh at the dramaticness of his theatrical words. “Forever.”

“You can’t ban anyone over a game–” Haechan chimes in, but is cut off by his peer instantly.

“I will call it harassment and bullying,” Sunwoo shrugs, “try to argue with that.”

“You’re just begging to get targeted at this point,” Aeri mumbles, shaking her head at him. She’s right– but Sunwoo is also kind of confident in his defence abilities. 

Unless he gets ganged up on, of course.

Which could happen– truth be told, he’s had it coming.

“Less talking and more gaming, please,” Yangyang calls from the corner, “I wanna steal Sunwoo’s diamonds now. Turn the shit on.”

And although Sunwoo doesn’t really like the implication of his friend’s words, he doesn’t argue. Mainly because 15 minutes have already passed and the club is only supposed to go on for an hour– which leaves the 10 of them only 45 minutes left to mine and do something meaningful. The owner of the server also moved the spawn point the farthest away from his house– in hopes of them not finding it and putting TNT all over the premises. (If they manage to craft some in the limited time space, that is. He doubts it, but truth be told, he can never be too sure.)

“Okay, I sent the IP of the server into the groupchat, so just type it in and press the Play button on the left and it should take you instantly here,” Sunwoo exclaims as he clicks on his server and connects to it, walking around the spawn point with his character for a bit, waiting for the rest of his group to arrive.

Pressing the TAB key, he keeps checking the usernames of the people jumping in. Once mega_dino turns up, he lets out an amused chuckle– there’s nothing that tops the nicknames you made when you were 11. Sunwoo’s email address scares him to this day, but he is too lazy to make a new one, since all of his subscriptions and social media are tied to it– it does make sending official emails to his university coordinators that much embarrassing, though.

Some nicknames are recognisable– such as yejiiiji or haechanahceah, but some are less decipherable, leaving him guessing who could be the one joining the game. He doesn’t ask about them, though, thinking that figuring it out as he plays will be more fun– when one nickname he recognises all too well suddenly shows up on the list of players, making his heart jump in surprise.

What is his friend doing on the server at this time of the day? She doesn’t usually play in the early hours of the afternoon– leaving her sessions to evening or late night. That’s when she calls Sunwoo and asks him to help her with mining (or begging for his diamonds, which he sometimes rejects, but complies with on the days he is the most weak to her cuteness). 

He considers pulling up his phone and texting her on Discord to notify the poor girl about the influx of new players on the server. She must be confused– maybe even scared, who knows– to see so many new people playing at the same time. The server Sunwoo created was a bit small, hosting only a few of his friends and a couple of people he met online, so a big amount of players would surely make it seem like someone hacked him, right?

“Is everyone in?” he asks instead, hearing everyone let out excited hums and nods.

He furrows his brows. The server says 10 people are currently connected to it, but if his calculations are correct, the number should be 11– everyone from his club and his online best friend, sunpoodle.

He does a double take on the list, shaking his head. He counts the people in his head over and over again, a little frustrated. Why is everyone saying they’re in? It’s clearly not adding up.

Looking up from his computer, he eyes the rest of his friends in the café. Everyone is playing soundly and happily, it seems, paying him no mind as they get accustomed with the new world and warm back up to the controls of the game they haven’t played in ages. 

Everyone but one person. Everyone but you.

Instead, you’re left staring at him with stern eyes. The look you offer him is sharp, maybe a little hurt– and at the moment, he doesn’t know why. Confusion is the only feeling jumping around the walls of his brain, making an unpleasant crease appear in between his eyebrows. Gears slowly turning, he tries to figure it all out.

You’re not playing. You’re not paying attention to the game. It’s like you know it all– like you’re so familiar with it, as if playing it daily. As if you know the server he made. As if you have your house in it, decorated with a cute offering in front of the door, a portal to his own home residing in the front yard.

It happens quickly– the realisation. He finally makes the connection. It dawns on him why you look so surprised. Why you look so shocked, so disturbed. 

Because if you’re the only unmoving one on the map right now and his online friend is not the one to play on Tuesday afternoons, there is only one explanation. 

“Oh my fucking god,” leaves his lips, albeit a little involuntarily. His voice is hoarse and harsh when he says the words, a final nail in the coffin for you as you stand up, the sound of the wheels of the chair churning against the floor, making everyone’s eyes snap to you.

You don’t turn off the game before you storm out of the room, giving him a clear view of your back, the character with the adorable skin you’ve picked out staring back at him blankly in the game. For a second, he doesn’t follow you– letting himself process. Everyone turns to Aeri for answers, as she’s the closest with you, but they get nothing as the girl just shrugs, equally confused, before she runs out of the room to find her best friend.

Sunwoos' ears start ringing. He feels like throwing up. 

This can’t be…

There’s nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft. He enjoys mining with music playing in his headphones. He loves crafting and making his house look perfect– just like little him always wanted it when he watched all those videos on youtube growing up. He likes to prank his friend Juyeon by putting random dirt blocks all over his house, or stealing all of Younghoon’s sugar cane when he’s offline, too lazy to grow some himself. He likes to teleport to his friend’s house and leave little surprises at the door, only to hear her call him a few seconds later, her cheerful, yet soft voice repeating in his ears even after he turns off the game and goes to his bed, letting her stories lull him to sleep. 

There’s nothing more in this world that Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with his online best friend– the two of them ganging up on the dragon or entering the Nether together to find some glowstone for her house, because she wants it to look aesthetically pleasing. There’s nothing more he enjoys than helping her with little tasks and fighting off creepers away from her property, making sure they don’t blow out all the hard work she’s been putting in.

There’s nothing more in the world that he enjoys more than talking with his online friend during the mundane hours of the day, her messages making him hide his giggles in the back rows of his lecture halls. Nothing he enjoys more than her laugh, her jokes, her voice, her online presence. It calms him and sets him on fire all at once, and he doesn’t think he’s ever cared for anyone this deeply. 

How has he never noticed that the person he hates the most is also the same person that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with? How has he never noticed it was you all the time?

And really, there’s nothing in the world Kim Sunwoo enjoys more than playing Minecraft with you. This time around, though, no progress in the world is made and your voice is not talking his ear off in the background. He shuts off the computer and leaves the place, not giving anyone an ounce of explanation.

You don’t text him in the evening like you always do. There’s no night call to help him sleep better.

He doesn’t turn the LED lights on in his room either, contemplating his life in complete darkness.

Nobody’s seen or heard of Kim Sunwoo in just a little under a week. Actually, that is an over-exaggeration– he went to take his exams, and he also went grocery shopping when he went out of ramen and his signature comfort food: red tasty KitKat bars– but other than that, it’s like the boy has disappeared from the face of earth.

There is no Video Gaming club, since it’s officially break time now– for only 2 weeks, but still– and he is declining every single invitation to hang out coming from his friends. He’s simply not in the mood to go anywhere or do anything, and so he spends his days locked away in his room.

Nothing is able to cut off his stream of thought. He’s not listening to music, so the occasional sounds of his roommate moving somewhere in the shared apartment are the only background noise to his loud inner voice. The elevator music usually playing in his head is replaced by a screaming match, and although he wishes it would stop, he can’t really control it– until the sound of his door opening makes him jolt away from the nightmare he’s living in.

Usually, he just tells Eric to fuck off and leave his room– since he is not in the headspace right now to spare anyone kindness, it seems– but when the disgusted face of Ji Changmin enters the place, Sunwoo knows there is no escaping this interrogation.

“Man, it stinks in here,” the boy grunts, moving through the obstacle course Sunwoo’s room has turned into in the few days he hasn’t bothered to put away his dirty laundry. 

“Go away,” Sunwoo says. It’s a weak attempt– he already knows he lost this battle.

“Yeah, no,” Changmin shakes his head before moving to the window, opening it. “Eric orders a wellness check on you, so I’m not leaving until I figure out what’s wrong. I was told you left the club early the last time?”

Sunwoo doesn’t offer him a response. All Changmin can do is guess in this situation, and trust me, although they’re best friends, sadly, they still haven’t developed telepathy– and so the conversation is a little tougher than the squirrel-like boy would prefer.

“Did something happen?”

Sunwoo recognises it’s already dark outside, the sound of cicadas landing into his ears through the open window. He doesn’t know how long he’s been glued to his mattress, but it makes him feel a little foolish. Not more than his previous actions, though– that surely takes the crown.

“I have a crush on Y/N,” Sunwoo speaks into the existence, startling the boy.

It’s weird for the boy to call you by your name in regards to his feelings. While he was so sure of his growing adoration for you when he spoke to you online, unaware of your real identity, it’s much harder to admit it to himself when the person he spent countless nights dreaming about finally turns into reality, and it’s not the form he expected. It’s confusing. It’s overwhelming– it leaves him thinking. Why did it have to be you?

“What?” Changmin asks, genuine shock and surprise coating his tone. “I thought you hated Y/N.”

The words sting like a slap to his face. He hated you. How could he ever be so reckless with his words to you? How could he be so mean? You must hate him now.

“Didn’t you have a crush on that online girl? What– I’m confused, man…” Changmin trails off, finally sitting at Sunwoo’s bed, the weight of his body making the mattress shift under the lazy man’s figure. 

“She’s the same person,” Sunwoo explains, the weight of his words making heaviness fall over the whole room, coating it with deep silence.

Changmin must think he’s foolish. He must think he is being crazy– hell, he must judge him for liking someone who once broke his heart, even though he was unaware it was the same person that made him feel so loved just by talking to him online. 

He cares about what you think more, though. Do you never wanna see him again? Do you hate him? He would hate himself, if he was you. 

Does he hate you? Does he want to see you again? Is your friendship over?

Did he lose you?

He hasn’t spoken to you in what feels like forever. Sunwoo’s throat closes on itself, making a real, visceral emotion run through his whole body and hit right in his chest, close to his heart. The corners of his eyes burn and he feels like running out of the room straight onto an ongoing traffic– he is unsettled. He feels terrible.

“Dude, are you crying?” Changmin asks with a shiteating grin on his face, pointing towards the younger one’s face. 

“No!” Sunwoo bluntly replies, voice hoarse and scratchy, harshly wiping off the tear that managed to roll down his cheek– almost slapping himself in the process. 

Changmin laughs. He laughs. Like it’s funny. Like it’s unserious and nothing is going on, like there is nothing to be worried about, and Kim Sunwoo is just being his overdramatic self, as always. Changmin laughs as if liking someone who once broke your friend’s heart is silly and not a big deal. As if not recognising someone you like online in real life is a normal experience, and not completely embarrassing– as if being mean to the same person you claim to adore is fine, and nothing to hate yourself over.

Sunwoo is conflicted. Talk about cognitive dissonance.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny,” Sunwoo pouts, the familiar wrinkle appearing in the middle of his eyebrows again, making his friend roll his eyes at the boy’s distress.

Changmin sighs. “It kinda is, if you think about it,” he shrugs, “you claim to hate Y/N, but turns out you’ve been in love with her all along…”

“You’re really not helping.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Changmin snickers. “I think this makes it easier for you. I know you were nervous about meeting her in real life, so this kind of takes off the pressure, since you already know each other.”

Sunwoo looks at his friend like he’s crazy. Does he not get the full weight of the situation? Does he not realise how serious this all is?

“What are you even talking about? Do you not hate me?” Sunwoo asks.

“Me?” Changmin asks, his head turning to the side like a confused puppy’s. “I don’t think I’m the person you need to worry about– although I’m sure you worry plenty– why would I hate you for liking Y/N?”

“Because she is your ex-girlfriend?” Sunwoo mumbles, twisting in his bed to have a better look at his friend. 

He is met with a few seconds of silence. He is starting to think his whole life is a joke and he is in some sort of a weird knock-off of the Truman show. How can you and Changmin both have the same reaction to his undying loyalty? He is being taken for granted, that’s for sure.

“You utter buffoon, that was ages ago! I honestly forget we even dated sometimes, it was so short-lived,” Changmin laughs before he rests his back against the wall of Sunwoo’s room, getting more comfortable in his new position. He knows the conversation isn’t over yet– there is more on the boy’s mind than the past relationship.

“Oh,” Sunwoo hums. 

“Yeah, oh,” Changmin laughs. “I honestly thought there was more to your hate towards Y/N, but I never really asked because I thought it was some gamer stuff or something that I couldn’t give two shits about. If I had known it was all because of my relationship from high school, I would’ve set the record straight a long time ago.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve.”

Sunwoo feels defeated. Like a deflated balloon. The weight on his shoulders stays the same despite the newfound information– because truth be told, this was never the problem in the first place.

And he is aware of that. Changmin is as well– he knows his best friend a little too much.

“But that’s not all there is to it, is it?” Changmin hums, poking the boy’s side with his long finger, burying it into his hoodie-covered flesh.

Sunwoo’s averted gaze and the chewing on the inside of his cheek is enough of an answer. “What is it?”

“It’s just… I don’t know how to feel about Y/N anymore,” Sunwoo confesses, snickering to himself. “Like, online, she was this perfect angel, like– don’t laugh at me now, you know I’m fucking sensitive– she was just… she was everything, you know?”

Changmin hums. “And in real life?”

“In real life, we were never really close and I hated her. How can I like someone I so strongly dislike in real life? It’s stupid…”

“You only hated what she did to me when we were teenagers, Sunwoo. You made yourself loathe something that wasn’t even there,” Changmin says, smiling sympathetically at the boy. “Do you think she is suddenly a different person to the one you got to know online just because she made a few mistakes when we were young?”

“I dunno…”

“I think you do know, you’re just scared to admit it to yourself, because you know you were a dick to her,” his best friend bluntly announces, watching Sunwoo wince at the words. Truth hurts– but it’s what he needs to hear. Because Changmin’s right, and Sunwoo is too tired of keeping all of these doubts hidden.

“Changmin, I can’t like her–”

“Why?” the boy cuts him off. “Because you said so? You were so big on saying how much you loved her for who she is, without knowing her in real life and knowing what she looked like. And sure, I made fun of you for it countless times before– but don’t you think you know her well enough by now? And don’t try to tell me you don’t know her just because you met online, because you know you’d be a fucking hypocrite.”

“But it’s Y/N.”

“Does that make any difference?”

Sunwoo moves from the inside of his cheek to bite at the dry skin of his lower lip. After tugging at the chapped mess, he feels iron on his tongue from tearing off a piece of his skin, eyes still pressed sternly into the ceiling. 

Does it make any difference? Does Sunwoo like you less now that he knows who you are? It was never about the looks for him– and god knows he barely even knew you in real life. Saying he wasn’t interested anymore would make him a hypocrite. 

Every time he thinks of the night talks you two shared and the secrets you’d tell him, trusting him with anything and everything, his heart still stummers in his chest and his stomach does that weird thing everyone in the romantic movies his roommate Eric watches talks about– but now, the girl has a face and a voice, and Sunwoo can’t say he hates it. He can’t say he hates you.

“I guess it doesn’t,” Sunwoo whispers, saying the obvious.

He still wants you. Just the way you are. Sure, he was shocked– anyone would be– but the feelings he has for you are still the same; it’s just the hate that slowly left his body, disappearing like the puddles of rain on the pavement on a sunny day. 

He can’t hate someone so important to him. How foolish of him to once think you were the bane of his existence.

“So why don’t you two just talk it out?” Changmin asks, pointing out the obvious.

Sunwoo plays with the skin around his cuticles for a while, nervously picking at the loose skin and making himself bleed once again, the nerves getting the worst out of him. “I think I’m a little scared.”

“So I was right. You’re scared she will push you away because you were a dick to her all those times before,” Changmin once again states the obvious.

“Basically,” Sunwoo says, his insecurities slowly slipping through his mouth and out to the wild, hanging in the air. “As much as my feelings didn’t change, I think hers might have. And that’s… that’s scary.”

In Sunwoo’s eyes, what you and he had together was special. He never wanted to lose you to something like this– over spite, a foolish lack of judgement. The thought of never talking to you again is making his insides crash on themselves, guilt slowly, but surely eating him alive. The best thing that’s ever happened to him might be royally fucked over, and there is no one else he can blame but himself.

“Well, you don’t know that. And although I know you might be too scared to find out, you two both need to have a talk. Don’t you think you owe each other that much?”

Changmin’s right. He almost always is– he doesn’t know why Sunwoo ever thought the older one needed protecting. Like a pouty child, Kim Sunwoo is comforted by his best friend’s words, maybe even a little scolded and enlightened by the dimpled boy. The appreciation in his heart almost outgrows the worry, but there is still a you-shaped hole in his chest that he feels the need to fill– only if you allow him to.

He didn’t expect for it to end up being you, but he doesn’t hate the idea. 

He’s not opposed to it. He welcomes it, because 

It’s still the same you. In whatever form, in whatever shape– he knows your soul, and he fears nothing will ever take away and move the feelings he treasures for you to another place, to some other.

They’re reserved for you only. (Also, he always thought your cunning smile was nice to look at. He just tried to suppress the idea of it deep, deep within his mind.)

“We were supposed to meet tomorrow,” Sunwoo hums, “I’ll see if she… still wants to come.”

Changmin smiles. “I knew you were smarter than this.” 

The backhanded compliment would rile him up on most occasions– this time, though, he knows it’s deserved.

One would say Kim Sunwoo didn’t think much before going up to the new café that opened downtown the week after exams, just like you two scheduled. Why?

First of all, he didn’t really check in with you to see if the offer is still up and if you want to meet him after all of this. Second of all, he turned up almost 35 minutes too early, since he was so nervous pacing around his flat that he physically couldn’t stay in the closed space anymore, and third of all, he’s fairly certain he put two different socks on when he was dressing himself, and after further inspection by the front door of the coffee place, pulling his jeans up to take a look, he finds out his suspicions were correct.

The thing is, though, against popular belief, Kim Sunwoo thought almost a little too much before going to the scheduled hangout. He thought about it the whole night before– and the whole previous week, if he’s being honest. He thought about it so much it consumed his every waking thought, leaving him all over the place, distracted and distressed. On most occasions, Eric had to ask a question five times before he was heard by his dear roommate, and if he wanted a real answer out of him, he had to gentle parent him through the conversation.

Sunwoo thought about it so much up to the point that you were all that was in his head. You and your last conversations on Discord which he spent the whole week rereading, you and your house in Minecraft that was left untouched since the last time you two played together (he checked). You and your laugh and the gentle, soft voice you only used with him on your calls– the voice that lulled him to sleep and make him feel butterflies in his stomach, unrecognisable to the hardened tone you used with him whenever you met up in real life when the conflicts he used to stir got the best out of you.

You and your cunning smile. You and your piercing, playful gaze. You and your hair that always kept falling into your face when you were crouched over the keyboard. It’s almost laughable how much he managed to pay attention to you in real life before knowing you were the same person he spent months adoring over the internet– the universe really works in strange ways sometimes.

So really, Kim Sunwoo has thought a lot about you and you two meeting before actually leaving the house; which could also very well be the reason why he didn’t text you to see if you still want to see him in the first place– in fear of being declined, in fear of being rejected by the only person he so deeply craves the validation from.

If you don’t show up, he will just go home and pretend none of this ever happened.

(Or at least he hopes he can.)

The more time he spends standing in front of the coffee shop, though, the more his hope of ever seeing you again gets smaller and smaller. Minutes are slowly passing him by like last summer, and he swears he’s never felt the passing of time more than right in this moment. He feels like he is gaining 5 years every 5 minutes that he’s standing in the middle of the pavement– the clock striking well past 20 minutes of when you were supposed to meet.

He will give it 10 more minutes, he thinks. 20, at most. Maybe he can wait an hour. Maybe you got stuck in the traffic. Maybe you got confused with the time…

Or maybe you’re just not coming, and he has to accept that.

Kicking the rocks under his feet while also trying to get out of the way of people walking past, he puts his hands deep into his pockets. He would rather die than to embarrass himself in front of you by texting you, and so he figures that if he just waits a few more minutes, God will surely give him a sign of when to stop holding back his tears and go back home…

“You look like a kicked puppy,” a voice– teasing, yet also a bit cautious– falls into his ears, making him perk up and look behind his shoulder. God must really love him today, he thinks.

No words escape his mouth for the time being. His brain goes short circuit a little at the sight of you– and in that moment he fully realises that he didn’t actually expect you to come, and that makes him feel even worse about himself. Relief washes over him like a wave of tsunami, the surprised look adorning Sunwoo’s face disappearing in seconds as he tries to manage his racing heartbeat.

“You came,” slips out from between his lips, making the boy immensely embarrassed with his choice of words. 

“I did,” you nod, pressing your lips tightly against each other, an awkward half-smile doing nothing to calm down Sunwoo’s nerves. “I figured you either come and we figure this out, or you don’t and I get something to treat myself to chase down the disappointment.”

You’d be disappointed if he didn’t come. Just the sentiment makes Sunwoo’s heart do backflips in his ribcage– how could he ever think he hated you? 

“Kind of same, actually,” he replies, nodding.

An awkward silence falls over you two like a weighted blanket, making Sunwoo’s stomach churn in discomfort. This is not how he imagined your first meeting to be– but then again, it’s not like he is meeting his online best friend (if he can even call you that anymore) for the first time. He tries to find the memory of your first meeting somewhere in the depths of his mind, but much to his dismay, he is left unsuccessful. He never really deemed it that important before– curse him and his reckless teenage mind.

“Uhm,” you hum, scratching the back of your neck, “I was… the bus was late, by the way. I didn’t purposefully let you wait to like, get back at you or something,” you suddenly explain, your lips stretching into a sympathetic smile.

The explanation doesn’t matter to him anymore. He doesn’t care if you came 20 minutes late and if you took the bus or if you built a portal in the back rooms of the very café you’re supposed to enter in a few minutes– all that matters is that you came and that you’re here, right in front of Sunwoo’s eyes, and you’re not pulling out a machete or an axe on him as a revenge for all the times he acted wrongly towards you in the past.

“Oh, no worries,” he hums almost immediately, “you’re here now, and that’s all that matters,” he nods. 

After another shared, prolonged look between the two of you– one in which he scans you up and down, as if actually seeing you for the first time (and noticing the switch in your usual attire: you exchanged your cargo pants for a skirt, something more fancy, yet telling), a look in which he gets all red in his cheeks, wondering if you noticed the way he did his hair differently today, just to appeal to you– he clears his throat and takes a step towards the café, opening the door for you like the gentleman he tries to be today. “Let’s go in, then!”

You follow his lead, entering the small, yet cozy place. The cold weather outside makes a good contrast with the heating of the café, and when Sunwoo takes a look at the board above the counter, he finds a seasonal menu welcoming him in with a big bear hug. Hot chocolate is just what he needs after all of this, and he won’t deny himself the pleasure of one now.

“Hot choccy?” you ask, smiling softly at the silent figure standing next to you. Sunwoo is caught off-guard with your suggestion and the gentle curve of your lips just the same, warmth spreading to the inside of his heart at the realisation that you know him so well. It’s her. It’s really her, he gasps in disbelief.

“Want one as well?” he asks after nodding, watching you shrug. He takes that as a yes, and since he thinks he did a lot of damage over the course of your friendship, he takes the lead and pays for your drink to try and make up for it– which you don’t fight him over, and he doesn’t find it in him to care. Actually, he thinks he kind of appreciates it. 

After taking a seat in one of the booths in the corner– the cream sofa hugs him in just well, and Sunwoo thinks he might just give this place a 5 star review on Yelp, depending on the way this date- I mean… friendly gathering goes– he is met with another excruciating, suffocating silence. He never really had much trouble talking to you before– surely not online, but also not whenever you were around in real life settings as well, since he always found a way to tease you and make fun of you, giving you most of his undivided attention– but this time around, he thinks keeping up a conversation with you might just be the hardest thing he’s ever had to experience. 

You make him nervous. You make him doubtful. If he wondered about how you’d perceive him after meeting him before knowing you two were acquainted already, he is wondering even more now– do you hate him? Do you wish he wasn’t the one sitting opposite of you right now? Do you want to leave and never talk to him again?

Is he good enough? Does he live up to the expectations– if you even had any?

All previous hatred towards you disappears as fast as a click of your finger, and Kim Sunwoo is left breathless at the fact that you’re right there, in front of him– his online best friend. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you turned out to be a mass murderer. He thinks he might have still liked you even if you were a 50 year old male in a disguise. He thinks the bond you two have built over the internet is much stronger than any mean comments he threw your way before– and the only thing left is to hope you feel the same.

Opening his mouth to speak, he thinks it’s time to have that conversation.

“Listen, I–”

“Were you disappointed that it was me?” you cut him off suddenly, fast as lightning– as if to hurry to get the question out before you chicken out of it.

Sunwoo is left staring at you open-mouthed, shocked. There was not a single minute of his existence where he’d feel disappointed with your identity. The thought never even crossed his brain once, and suddenly, he feels stupid. 

He left you hanging for a whole week– all because he thought you’d hate him. He left you wondering in silence, doubting yourself and thinking you’re not who he would’ve liked– all because of his own insecurities. Why has he not thought of your side of things as well?

“No,” he simply states, watching your face morph into a more relaxed one, eyes softening. “Not at all, no,” he shakes his head.

“I just– it’s…”

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way,” Sunwoo utters out. You press your lips together, listening. “Was I surprised? Mhm. Shocked? Yeah, of course I was… but no, I was never disappointed that it turned out to be you. Not for a single moment.”

“I thought you hated me,” you note, chuckling. The words sting on Sunwoo’s skin, but he figures he’s not the one to be hurt right now– and so he sucks it up and hums.

“I was being petty,” he agrees. “And childish. Nothing to be so passionate about as I was,” he admits, forcefully laughing at his own actions. “Nothing to throw away everything we… nothing to throw away the friendship that means so much to me.”

The sincerity of his own words scares him. There is a quiet desperation in him that wants to prove to you that he’s not as bad as he presented himself to be. There is a need in him to fix everything he ruined, to show you that he’s the same Sunwoo you know from the internet, and that all of this is worth it. 

“And I’m sorry, just… just by the way.”

Sunwoo never thought he’d be left apologizing to you– but here he is. Maybe this whole thing taught him something– maybe you taught him something. 

“Ah,” you shrug. “It’s okay. I mean, it was kind of fun watching you be so pressed about nothing, but I’m glad it’s resolved now,” you laugh.

You laugh, and the atmosphere immediately clears. Sunwoo feels like he can breathe lighter, like the cold isn’t so overbearing outside, like he hadn’t just spent the last week locked in his room, contemplating the point of living at all. He didn’t think it would be this easy… 

Something inside of him truly believed he lost you for good. 

“I mean, you were the one that ran out of the internet café without an explanation–”

“You cursed me out!” you argue, kicking his shin lightly under the table.

The boy fakes offense, pointing his finger at you. “That wasn’t directed at you! Just the situation in general.”

“That includes me,” you add.

“Sure, but still– I was just surprised. I really didn’t expect my online best friend to be sitting in the same room as me every week, that’s for sure,” he says, watching as your eyes light up at the title, a cute smile overtaking your features.

“I also didn’t expect you to ghost me for a full week after,” you add, shrugging. “You’re usually so desperate for attention,” you hum, making the boy’s cheeks heat up like a furnace, eyes averting your gaze at all costs. Now, this surely wasn’t on the list of things he wanted to discuss with you today.

Clearing his throat, he makes eye contact with his mug instead, desperately trying to shift the topic of the conversation. “Drink it, it’s getting cold…”

“Sure… Whatever you say, Steve,” you tease. When he looks up at you from under his eyelashes, there’s the same cunning smile on your face that he watched all those times when you won against him at League of Legends– the same smile that used to always drive him crazy, but he now recognises that he translated the implications of his insanity all wrong (because he thinks that maybe somewhere deep inside of his romantic, rotten soul, he might have known all along)– and he wonders if this was the smile you always wore when you made fun of him for falling asleep on the call with you again, the boy using your soft, sleepy voice as a lullaby. 

Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink, pointing an accusing finger at you. “Speaking of,” he starts, “the kids miss you. Go and feed them, miss,” he says, watching you roll your eyes at him. The dogs you co-parent with him in Minecraft  have been sitting near your front door ever since you last logged out, and even though coming to your house felt like an emotional torture in the time you were gone, Sunwoo always managed to feed them like he would with a real animal.

Call him childish, for all he cares. 

“Okay, damn,” you say, rolling your eyes at him. “You only say that because you want me to finally move our beds together, don’t you?” you tease him, referencing the little offering he made for you months ago– the one that’s still secure outside of your house despite many of its renovations.

Sunwoo almost chokes on his drink again. You grin at him– a sight that makes his insides feel like they were threaded with gold. He swears hot chocolate has never felt so sweet before. 

If he wasn’t sure of it before, he’s fairly certain now– you can fall for someone over the internet. And yes, the crush translates to its full form after meeting them in person.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to it…” he mumbles, not really quick enough to come up with a good comeback now that he’s face to face with you, making you giggle cutely at his sudden shyness. This is not how you know Kim Sunwoo– the sheepish composure is so far of the boy you met online, but also the one that ridiculed you during a casual game of CS:GO weeks ago.

“I’ll decide if it’s worth it after you show me the lights you’ve been talking my ear off about,” you say– and he thinks he won. Because this is an invitation to his room– an invitation for further hangouts. If you keep flirting with him like this, Sunwoo thinks he might just combust.

There is only one problem, though.

“About the lights…”

BONUS // A YEAR LATER

If you would’ve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he would’ve believed you. See, he’s a stranger to denial– he is quite good at accepting his own feelings for what they were, inwardly, at least– and so he was fairly certain he was in love with his online best friend even before he had a chance to meet her. Somewhere along the line, given the fact that his feelings would be reciprocated, he imagined going further with the establishment, no matter how far or close in distance you were from each other.

Turns out, life is funny in many ways and his online best friend, the proclaimed love of his life, lived just around the corner with her roommate Aeri. She still doesn’t like him that much, but Sunwoo puts effort into visiting his girlfriend at her place often, in hopes that her best friend finally warms up to him a little– he thinks it’s almost like approaching a stray cat. The Sylvanian families shrine the two girls hold in their living room is also fascinating to him– he didn’t think someone with a stern look like Aeri’s could stare at something so adorable and small so lovingly.

“Sunwoo, once again, we are not in a long distance relationship,” you say over the speakers of his sister’s laptop that he borrowed just so he could call with you, making him mourn into the poor-quality microphone. 

“We are! You’re so far away right now, how can you justify it not being a long distance relationship?” 

“We literally saw each other a week ago,” you deadpan, “and we will see each other again after we come back to uni, you moron.”

See, Sunwoo’s definition of a long distance relationship is a bit warped. As long as you’re not in the same town as him, he considers you too far away– and in any other circumstance, you would find it cute (bless his heart), but when you’re trying to enjoy your break with your family that you haven’t seen in a while, it’s becoming just the tiniest bit overbearing.

“That’s too long.”

“You’re being a baby,” you grunt, making your boyfriend pout at the other side of the call, seen by his web camera. You were against turning your own on, but were forced to nonetheless– Sunwoo’s ‘I need to see your face or else I’ll die’ was too convincing not to. You know he won’t, but at the same time, the poor boy could turn a little manic at times– you had to make sure he will survive until your next meeting.

“God, a man can’t even miss his long distance girlfriend in peace–”

“I am not your long distance girlfriend. We’re literally only like 4 hours away from each other right now, that’s not even–”

“If you think about it,” Sunwoo cuts you off, making you sigh. “It’s like we’re back to square one. Y’know, before we started dating.”

“Not really…?” you try to argue with him, planning to point out the fact that back then, you used to call on Discord and not Whatsapp, with no camera on and using fake names, but the boy cuts you off fast, knowing that you’re right and he just can’t let you have the point.

“I miss your kisses, that’s all.”

Still hung up on the previous comment, you sigh. “We weren’t even kissing back then, Sunwoo.”

The boy stares at you for a second, blinking, before he breaks out into a huge grin. “Well, maybe not you. Me, however, I was kissing the screen everytime your character showed up–”

“I’m going to end the call,” you warn him. Why are you even dating him? He has a bitchless loser energy– maybe you should let him live up to it.

“No no no– okay, I’ll be normal.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you sigh.

If you would’ve told Kim Sunwoo that he will end up in a long distance relationship only a bit more than a year ago, he would’ve believed you. After seeing the little heart shaped altar in front of your house in Minecraft every time he plays– your beds now stuck together, making him sense that he finally made it– he truly wouldn’t find this accusation hard to believe.

Truth be told, though, he’s much happier with having a normal relationship with you.

One where he gets to hold you, one where he gets to kiss you. One where you finally come over and he gets to impress you with the LED strip he finally got off a proper electronic place instead of a cheap online store, investing money into the device he gets to use behind the locked doors of his room for atmospheric purposes whenever you two–

Anyways. 

Maybe Changmin was right and he was always being just too overly-dramatic. He was also right when he accused Sunwoo of having a huge crush on you online, after all. 

Still, Sunwoo wouldn’t change it for anything. Despite the history you share, he actually thinks you’re pretty fucking cute.

And real. And his. 

And thankfully, not a thousand miles away. (Although it may feel like it right now.)

[torchvic]

fuck this *flicks my little magic wand* your obey me cast is all transgender. here are my personal headcanons for that (putting this under a read more because this is A LOT)

the brothers r first because i was thinking abt this for one billion hours:

asmo is genderfluid and i think he'd use she/he pronouns. (we could also argue bigender asmo because that'd be cool also)

he/they transmasc mammon. literally they/them'd in a call and i saw a transmasc mammon headcanon and i think abt it all the time now.

it's been discussed here before but levi is nonbinary transfem. she uses they/she pronouns and i will die on this hill. also uses some type of neopronouns. gamer girlfailure /j (might be femcel. idk it might be the amount of times they use "normie") (i'm in love with her)

belphie is too tired to give a shit about gender. he says "no" if asked. they/it/he maybe. probably uses star/starself neos too cuz that stuff rocks (agender belphie anyone???)

beel uses any pronouns and doesn't rly label his gender i don't think. never really gave it much thought probably but i don't think he cares. love them lots. :3

i don't think satan really cares about gender either BUT i think he could identify with catgender (he/cat pronouns (maybe more) he'd use cat-centric neopronouns this has to be canon)

nonbinary lucifer is canon on my SOUL. they use they/she/he pronouns because they can and will.

then we got the silly goober dateables + small child luke:

diavolo got that demiboy swag and once he discovers neopronouns it's gonna be awesome. he/they/prince pronouns (or any other royal-centric ones)

barbatos is agender. bro is a time master lord guy they do NOT give a shit. they/them and maybe it/its depending on the day

solomon uses them all. every single pronoun. they've lived so fucking long that they just said "fuck it" or something and claimed all of them. he made the genderfluid in his cauldron and promptly drank it. uses neos too but there's a lot that fit here. maybe it's all of them too. i do think xe/xem (and other variations) are used though because i said so

i don't know if angels have a concept of gender or not. they/he simeon though something about him is nonbinary af luv u simeon

i'm not sure for luke because he's like... 10... but again idk if angels really have the gender concept at all (probably not they're supernatural beings. they all are actually). might be a mainly he/him user but doesn't mind it when other pronouns are used. idk the gender because hes a child but maybe he'll figure it out later in life cuz rn he's worried about baking really good treats for michael

last but not least the characters they refuse to add to the system (please im in love with thirteen please PLEASE):

mephisto got that bigender swag idk something about them screams it. i do think they use they/he pronouns though (maybe she/her also, but it depends on the day lawl)

thirteen is transfem i feel it in my bones. she/it/they pronouns. i love her so much. it's my favorite character ever look everyone. obey me devs add thirteen to the intimacy system NOW PLEASE.

raphael is agender bro does not care they will rain their spears on you and then eat solomon's cooking right after to make you physically ill (/lh). uses they/xe :)

thank you for coming to my ted talk and im sorry for the intense rambling <:)

[callsignfangs]

141 boys as gamers. Yep.

Price:

• Totally the rager.

• Insists the games are stupid and he couldn’t care less about them, he had important work, afterall

• Has to get a new controller/keyboard every few weeks and has multiple controller-sized holes in his walls. Probably even broken a couple mics unintentionally.

• Still plays almost exclusively competitive multiplayer games, tho. Might occasionally dip his toes into horror, challenge, and even collection-based games.

• Unleashes every foul word in his nasty vocab on anyone he dislikes in a game (probably had his mic taken away /j)

Ghost:

• Patience of a saint.

• Tells everyone he doesn’t care about gaming, and tbf he probably cares the least out of the four

• Probably played getting over it with a straight face for funsies

• Also needs to get new equipment often, but just because this dude manhandles it to hell.

• Picks games at random. Probably by the steam homepage. Maybe by requests/recommendations. Does tend to prefer open-world and sci-fi games, though. Also has a very intricate minecraft world he’s spent hundreds of hours on.

Gaz:

• Chaotic as shit

• Always looking for secrets and manages to practically destroy half his game files. He goes looking for an extra coin he missed in a hard to reach cubby two stages back and ends up glitching through the floor twice, skipping three bosses and deletes the save file all in the span of maybe five minutes

• Mans will absolutely feast on any game with decent lore, but actually prefers cosier games like unpacking, minecraft, stardew valley (heavy on stardew). Will happily explore adventure/exploration type games, as well.

• Sits in the weirdest positions when gaming. Mate has both legs straddling the monitor and has folded himself in half like a fleshy garden chair, managing to somehow play the game upside down with maybe a sliver of screen /j

Soap:

• Can’t take shite seriously. Imagine like. A stream with markiplier, wade and ethan as one person. (Gaz is his bob /j)

• Mostly horror games, probably.

• Has gotten banned from multiple platforms bc of this mans OUTRAGEOUS swearing. He pulls out multiple languages, from Scottish to, like, Arabic (ty Farah 😇)

• Speaking of, I think he’s learning a couple of languages. This was bc he accidentally came across a game he really wanted to play that hadn’t been translated to English, so he started learning bits to play it, then he realised he actually really enjoyed learning languages and opening up new opportunities to interact with both games and fans :]

• Most in tune (besides maybe Gaz) with the slang and references his fans make. I like to imagine him saying ‘the girls are fighting’ whenever there’s any fights in a game giggle.

• Has fallen asleep on stream multiple times. Like, he decides to do a gaming marathon and straight up falls asleep in the middle of it. Also if this man doesn’t go to bed at, like, exactly 8pm he will fall asleep right then and there. He’s an old man at heart.

• Makes the stupidest faces. A plot twist had his jaw absolutely snapping to the floor, eyebrows peeking over the clouds and hands on his head. I bet he’s done it so much his jaw clicks.

—

Sosoooo, hey. Im alive 😇😇 Sorry for randomly vanishing, ive had a bunch of personal stuff to deal with and honestly my motivation died a little. I pinky promise im working on asks n stuff 😚 I might stick to more hc-y posts for a bit just to like. get accustomed to everything again. So yaya 😚

[smolweeblets]

Get Good

Hana "D.Va" Song x Reader

Its quite a mystery how youve dated D.va for this long without playing a single game with her. Although she's been pestering you about it for a while, you never really took her up on it. It wasnt like you outwardly didnt want to play with her, it was just that you did not know how to play the games she liked. It was all just too stressful, they required too much thinking for your taste.

Alas, today was the day you found yourself finally caving in. There really was no question that this would happen eventually. Hana’s persuasion tactics were always top-tier, and this has been a game shes been excited about for a long time.

Her persuasion was so good that she managed to get you two to play together on stream. Youve been in a few of her streams while she gamed before, so it really didn't make all that much of a difference to you. She got you your own setup beside her own, so you both could monitor and respond to chat, since they were quite fond of you.

Youve always joked that Hana only wanted you there because her streams got a few thousand more views when you were there. She genuinely did just want you to be there to watch her, seeing as when you were there, chat was usually ignored in favor of talking to you.

And so the stream was set, she even announced that this stream stream would be a special one with you in it beforehand. Her fans were pumped, and so was she, constantly showering you in love and affection after you agreed.

Admittedly, you were a little nervous, you knew nothing about these games, but Hana reassured you that it would be okay. She was going to learn about that game for the first time as well, she said. So you both would be in it together.

What you failed to remember was that Hana is an already seasoned gamer, so picking these things up were second nature for her, while you were stuck learning the basics 30 minutes in.

Eventually, she got a little impatient, and decided that you two should enter a match already. You tried to protest, but seeing that everyone in chat agreed, you just rolled along with it. You figured if you fail miserably at something it would just be clipped and be a small meme. That was something you could live with.

“You ready babe?” Hana held your hand and grinned, causing chat to move at a dizzying speed. It almost gave you motion sickness with how fast it was going.

“Yeah, at least I hope so” You chuckle as the game loaded.

For first few rounds you were always the first to die. You apologized profusely after each death, and Hana waved it off, albeit seeming tense as you were practically giving the enemy team free resources.

“Im so sorry Hana! I swear ill take better cover next time-” You sheepishly apologized.

“Its fine babe, but man. You really are trash at this” She chuckled. Chat agreed with her, telling you to get good and start contributing to your team.

Oh.

You werent expecting that to sting so much. It was true of course, but in a way you couldnt explain it just… hurt.

Nevertheless, you shook off the comment. It was nothing to get upset over, Hana was just stating facts. You tried your hardest to hide the awkwardness in your chuckle, it seemed you were successful as Hana had her game face back on.

She made you want to jump right back into it yourself, motivated to do better. You avoided looking at chat for the moment, knowing they probably were just going to get you down. You focused on the game, putting in your all. It was effective, it seemed your team was actually winning this time, and your kills werent zero!

Hana congratulated you with every elimination, finally giving you a small feeling of accomplishment.

But alas, disaster had to strike sometime. Apparently, the opposite team had a hacker, and even though Hana could eliminate them, she was killed in turn. Of course, this lead the gamer to be triggered for the rest of the match.

There was only one person left on the opposing team. You were so close to winning!

Only problem being, you were the last one alive. Hana watched your screen like a hawk. Pointing and micromanaging everything you did. Chat could see everything you did through the spectate on Hanas screen. God, this almost felt more stressful than your finals, and those were no joke.

Hana failed to notice your trembling hands and the beads of sweat rolling down your face. She was too busy watching your screen, chastising you for every mistake you made. You tried your best to follow her instructions, harsh as they were.

“To the gate babe!! We're almost there!” Hana putting down her headset to stand behind you did nothing to help your stress. It didnt matter, you were almost finished here.

You were by the final objective, oh so close to success. You started activating the final task, at the final few percent until Hana suddenly screams at you to take cover. It was too late, Hanas loud voice in your ear amidst your already stressed state caused you to panic and react late.

You died. Hana punched the back of your seat in frustration.

“I'm really sorry, maybe I should just-” You set down your headset on the desk and looked to Hana apologetically.

Hana held her face in her hands, grumbling something incoherent. You could also see chat complaining out of the corner of your eye.

“Yeah, I'm sorry to say but you should probably hop off before you cause me to lose any more matches. Even my skill isn't enough to carry you.” She seethed, although not directly at you.

Still, it made you feel like absolute shit. You didn't even know why, everything she said was true.

“Yeah, uh, sorry chat, I'm gonna take my leave now, you guys have fun! I'll be in the other room if you need me” You tried your best to sound unaffected. Who were you kidding, you sounded like you were on the verge of tears.

And yet, Hana still didn't notice. Quickly switching her personality again and apologizing for the delay. She went right back into the rhythm of things, smiling and winning each game after.

It really wasn't all that serious, there was no reason to be upset. She knew that you had little to no skill or knowledge in these things. And you always knew Hana had the tendency to get a little rowdy with bad teammates. You sighed. No use in thinking about it now, best to just sleep it off.

And so you did, only awakening when you felt a dip in the bed, signifying the stream was finally done and Hana was set to lay in bed and take a break.

She sees your barely open eyes and looks sheepish.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” She crawls over to you slowly.

“No, it's fine.” You smile half-heartedly.

A moment passes before you decide to ask. “Did the stream go well?”

“Yeah! It was even easier than usual because everyone was still getting used to the game! Was a little boring though, so the stream was shorter than usual!” Hana beams. It brings a gentle smile to your face.

“I'm kinda sad you didn't stay for long though, you could've still watched even if you weren't playing.” Hana pouts as she starts to cuddle with you. Her arms resting on top of you and her face digging into your back.

“Oh, well… sorry.” A moment passes before you awkwardly continue. “... About that, uh there's something I want to share…” You trail off.

Hana gives a hum of acknowledgement into your shoulder. “Yeah? What is it?”

“Well… its sort of silly but… the way you called me bad earlier kinda hurt?” Your voice is laced with borderline embarrassment. Embarrassment that you were actually really affected by such seemingly simple words.

Hanas face is confused before she fully registers your words.

“Is that so!? I'm really sorry babe! You know how I get sometimes, I just get a little carried away–which is still no excuse at all! I'm really sorry I should have know–nh!” She was interrupted by your hand over her mouth.

“Hana, I appreciate the enthusiasm but you can tone it down a bit-” You wince at the memory of how fast she was talking.

She calms down quickly at your touch and takes a moment to compose herself. You let out a sigh of relief and smile gently at her.

“Sorry… uh, so you wanna talk about it?” She hesitantly offers.

“Yeah, but not really much to talk about… it just kinda stung when you insulted me, even if it was true–” You avert your gaze, seemingly finding a newfound interest in the wall right behind Hana.

“I'm so sorry you had to feel that way– I really should have known better!” You look down to see Hana frowning. It melts you a little inside. Just a little.

“It's okay Hana… Just letting you know for next time, yeah?” You smile softly while you gently pet her hair.

“Yeah, I'm really so sorry! Please stay on my streams though, you being there means everything to me!” Hana hugs you tightly.

“Of course! But I won't be playing anything just to be safe… unless youre going to play minecraft or something, now thats a game I can handle”

“Yay! Sorry again but thanks for not hating me! I really do get carried away sometimes–” Hana smiled sheepishly while she buried her face into your arm, causing you to chuckle quietly.

“Yeah, I know, it's something I knew dating you, just shocked me a little when directed at me is all” You sigh, relieved to finally get that out of your system.

Hana suddenly climbs on top of you and straddles you. She had the eyes of determination you found yourself swooning over very often. “I am going to spoil you so bad as an apology. Get ready for all the love and affection I can muster in me. It's a lot.”

“Oh god…”

A/n: Yep, im an overwatch writer now.

This was originally much angstier in my head but decided against it lolsies

[hughiecampbelle]

helloooo i saw ships were open! love your writing and thank you so much for opening this!

my name is shanti, im 21, they/them. 5’5. biracial. i dont have much of a preference on ships as long as it is not homelander, stormfront, or the deep.

i'm a very hard worker and aspire to be a history teacher one day. i love nerdy shit like the MCU and the Tolkien Universe. i am also a gamer and i love pvp games particularly. also RPGs. i love music but my favorite genres right now are probably rock, edm, and indie folk music.

some of my favorite things are the moon, sunsets, rocky beaches, staying in to watch movies and tv shows, reading and trying to draw haha. i am also a foodie and love going out to try new food from different cultures.

my aesthetic is a mix of crowcore and shabby chic (aka cottagecore).

personality wise i am an ENFP. I consider myself a friendly person. i love getting to know people and all their little quirks. i am generally pretty outgoing but i also like just keeping to myself sometimes. i can be pretty shy for a while as well when im first getting to know someone. when i open up around people i am pretty goofy and always happy to do anything with them!! i love to laugh.

i also have ADHD, sometimes it is debilitating lmao. i also worry a lot, probably part of the adhd thing or maybe thats my anxiety 🤔

i thiiinnkkk this is enough to work on. thanks again!!!!! 💖💖💖💖

Hi my love! I ship you with: Annie January!!! She loves your nerdy side. From history to the Tolkien Universe, whatever you're interested in and passionate about, she could listen to you talk for hours. She genuinely pays attention and always has thoughtful questions you never would have thought of. All of your interests are really cute to her. In the car you two switch off playing songs and she even has a playlist with your name as the title full of the songs you've shown her that she loves. She's more of an indie girl, but appreciates all of the genres you've shown her. You love her outlook. Annie really thought her whole life would be The Seven, being a superhero, fighting crime. That image wasn't just broken, it was obliterated. She's had to come to terms with a lot, including how her life would look, who she was. Through it all though, she's put everything she had into her beliefs, her friendships and relationships. She's put everything she had into taking down Vought and Homelander. You appreciate that about her, that through it all she's adapted, but kept the same passion. Your relationship is kind of dramatic. Your work drama bleeds into your relationship and can create tension. It's nothing against one another. Rather, it's the shapeshifter and the Homelander performers and Firecracker that try to create a rift between you. You might have your moments of tension, but in the end, it's the two of you against the world. When your worries really get to you and it feels so overwhelming, Annie is the first person at your side, calming you down, reassuring you everything will be okay. It will all work out in the end. Your first date is at the beach. She knows how much you love the ocean and the both of you could use some downtime away from The Boys and Vought and everything. It wasn't intended to be a date, just some time for the two of you to get away, but you start talking and laughing as the ridiculousness of your lives and you end up spending hours there, watching the water, listening to the waves, decompressing together. Annie admits a lot to you, stuff she's too afraid to say in front of everyone else and you do the same. You guys get food and come back and lose most of the day to the sand and ocean. Only when the sun starts setting do either of you realize how much time has passed. When you're feeling overwhelmed or disconnected as a couple, you go back to that spot and are reminded why you care about one another. Relationship Headcanon: You and Annie, when you first met, were so shy with one another you could barely exchange three sentences. You couldn't believe the Startlight was your friend. You never would have guessed the reason she was so shy and awkward in front of you was because of her crush on you. Everyone could tell there was a mutual interest, and they thought about intervening, but M.M. talked them out of it. He had faith that the two of you would figure it out for yourselves eventually. When you do start dating, The Boys finally tell you they almost had a bet going for how long it would take one of you to admit your feelings. Frenchie would have won, but they decided it was cruel and unusual to bet on their friends dating life.

Hope you like it my love!!! Xoxoxo💜💜💜

SHIPS ARE CLOSED

[catgirltitty]

MOCHA'S BEST STREAM

Mocha starts her weekly stream like usual, but a wardrobe malfunction arouses her viewers' curiosity!

[breast expansion, lactation, milking, furry]

“Meowdy gamers! I’m Mocha, and this is The Mo-Show! I’m gonna jump in and play some Shaftcraft, today I thought I’d just chill and answer some Q&A while I work on my zombie farm.”

Mocha eyed her setup, making sure everything was perfect. The half-cat, half-cowgirl had soft, cream-colored fur, with a chocolate-brown spot right on her snout. Not a hair of her bangs was out of place, and her gold-blonde streak caught the glow of her ring light just right. Her white work blouse was in place, showing just the right amount of cleavage. She adjusted her posture, making sure her whole chest was in the shot.

While she was looking, a pop-up played across the top of her screen.

@moofan7 donated $1

“Thanks for the donation, friend! Remember, every dollar you donate to the stream goes to the charity of the week. Plus, every dollar gets matched by our anonymous partner. This week, it's all going to help trans kids buy new clothes!”

Mocha was fairly proud of the amount of money she raised for charity every week. She didn’t feel the need to share that the ‘anonymous partner’ was, in fact, herself.

"If you have a question, share it in the chat! If it gets 10 upvotes, I’ll answer it! Please, nothing too personal and no sexual stuff. If you do that, you’re gonna get banned. Seriously, that shit’s not cool.” A frustrating number of people online thought it was okay to ask invasive questions about her body, or try to get her to indulge their kinks on stream. Luckily, she had a great team of mods that nipped those viewers in the bud. Mocha was happy to use her attractiveness in her streams—on her terms, doing the things she wanted to do when she felt like it.

She didn’t owe her viewers anything else. Most of them respected that. Those were the ones she was streaming for, and the ones who made streaming something she looked forward to.

“Alright, first question! ‘Can we ask about demihuman stuff?’ Absolutely, just be respectful.”

These were some of the more common questions she got in her Q&A sessions. Sometimes it got on her nerves, but she tried to keep in mind that her human fans were just curious.

@moofan7: whats it like having fur?

“It’s pretty great if you ask me. I put a lot of work in to keep my coat this lustrous, though. As long as you keep it clean, it’s like wearing a cozy blanket at all times.”

@9tailtrouble: demi here. what products do you recommend for fur care?

“Great question, 9tailtrouble. It really depends a lot on your species, but FurLux is a good brand that covers a wide range. My personal favorite is Taúr-faire, but that’s specifically for cows. I assume you’re a fox? I’ve heard from other foxes that Red Coature is pretty good if you’re willing to spend a bit extra.”

Chat started excitedly popping off. Little emotes of a gray cat with a confused look on her face dotted the messages.

@tinkretor: :joule: :pog: @momijams: JOULE SIGHTING @moofan7: girlfriend jumpscare @moofan7: jk joule im ur biggest fan @theinfirminator: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule: :joule:

Mocha looked at her stream feed. Sure enough, Joule was visible making dinner in the kitchen. Mocha couldn’t help but smile; her newest girlfriend had already wandered into frame so many times it had become a running joke.

After the chat calmed again, 9tailtrouble responded.

@9tailtrouble: yeah im a fox :D i really love yuor streams!! I admire you so much 0///0 @9tailtrouble donated $5

“Thanks, 9tail, I’m so honored to hear that! Let me know if you try those products.”

@theinfirminator: you have two gfs, rite? wats that like @subbywoofers: mo is so cool

“It’s the best. I love them so much! It takes a lot of love and trust to make it work, but it’s so worth it.”

@theinfirminator: how did you meet?

“Pap and I met in college. We were both skipping the same lecture and decided to hang out! That was… something like eighteen months ago. Then we met Joule when she became our roommate, and she started dating us around a year ago.”

@momijams: yall are adorable together! @theinfirminator: will we get a paprika sighting tonite?

“Not tonight, she’s out with a friend. I’ll let her know you asked, though!”

@momijams: its ok if this is too personal but. im dating a cowgirl and i want to learn more to about what its like so i can take care of her when were married @momijams: ive heard that its.. a lot @momijams: do you have any tips??

“Wow, congrats momijams! It's a bit too personal for the stream, but message me after and I’ll give you some advice. I think it’s really sweet that you’re trying to learn to take care of her!”

@momijams: thank you :) i want to treat her right @momijams donated $10

Mocha continued answering her viewers' questions. Before she knew it, an hour had already passed. It was probably the best stream she’d had in a while.

Until one message caught her eye.

@9tailtrouble: maam. your shirt

Mocha checked her feed. A pair of wet spots had soaked through her blouse, revealing the pink bra beneath. Twin white streams trickled off her chest and into her lap. Blood rushed through her cheeks. Fucking hell, when did this happen?

In a panic, she made to shut down the stream. And I was having such a good time, too, she thought. Her mouse hovered over the red "END STREAM" button. She hesitated.

“You know what?" She turned to the camera. "You all have been so lovely today. Here’s a little treat.”

She began unbuttoning her top, only now noticing how tight it had gotten; it was near to popping open, anyway. Her breasts had swollen several sizes up throughout the stream. No wonder I'm leaking...

Once her shirt was fully unbuttoned, she let it fall to either side, revealing her straining bra, dark and damp from the lactic bounty leaking from inside. Milk streamed down her belly, dampening her fur.

Chat was going wild.

“That feels better. Now back to the Q&A.”

@momijams: can we ask about… this

“I’m in a good mood, so go ahead! Don’t go overboard, though.”

@momijams: okay so. wow. i heard cowgirls produce a lot, but i wasnt expecting this muich @momijams: is this a normal amount??

Mocha blushed, hoping it wasn’t too obvious. She always enjoyed it when people commented on how much milk she made.

“Yeah, this is a pretty normal amount for a cow my age. Usually I take suppressants to keep it down to a manageable amount, but I think I’m a little late this month!” She gestured to her leaking tits.

@theinfirminator: how does it feel?

“Pleasant, most of the time. Most of the day I can hardly feel it. But this,” she hefted her boobs. “If they get much bigger than this, they start to ache.”

That got them curious.

@9tailtrouble: they grow? @tinkretor: mocha is so PRETTYYYY @moofan7: BIGGER THAN THIS? They’re already so big! @momijams: how big do they get?

Mocha was getting just as excited as them. This is fun! I should talk about this stuff more often! She would be lying if she said this wasn’t turning her on a bit, as well.

“Judging by the G-cup bra they’re about to destroy, right now they’re probably about a K-cup. The biggest I’ve ever gotten is a Q-cup.” She held her hands out several inches from her bust.

@momijams: how doyou deal with them? @9tailtrouble: thats so huge, omg @9tailtrouble: i wish my tits did that!! @tinkretor: do you have to. Express? srory if thats too much

Mocha was really getting going, now. “Mm hmm, every day I have to-” Mocha had an idea. A grin spread across her face. This is gonna get me suspended for sure.

She put a finger up to her lips, pretending to think about it. “Well,” she drawled, “maybe it would be better to demonstrate. Joule, love! Can you come over here?”

@moofan7: is this really happening? @9tailtrouble: no way. our mo? @momijams: what an exciting new direction for the channel @momijams donated $25 @subbywoofers donated $50 @subbywoofers: mo this is so cool tysm

Joule poked her head out from the kitchen. “What’s up, Mo?”

“Come over here. Say hi to the fans!”

“Hi, fans! Thanks for supporting my girlfriend!” She reached the desk, only now seeing Mocha’s state of undress. “Oh. Since when is this that kind of stream? Not that I mind.”

“I’m trying something new.” The swollen cowgirl unstrapped her bra, letting it fall. “Now, if you would please milk me?”

Mocha’s tits heaved as her breathing suddenly got easier. I didn't realize just how tight that bra was getting… Her nipples, thick as little brown thumbs, were spraying arcs of milk now.

Joule visibly gulped. “Yes, please!”

The lanky catgirl stood behind Mocha’s chair, wrapping her arms around. “I almost can’t reach! You’ve let them get way too big today.”

Her paws found the leaking teats. Mocha gasped as Joule’s fingers expertly worked the swollen breasts. The spray turned into a hose, shooting milk warm milk across the desk, the keyboard, the monitor.

“As you. Can. See,” the breathy cowgirl had trouble forcing herself to speak through the stimulation. “The best. Way. To express. Is through. Hand. Milking.” She let out a low “Moooo~” as Joule rolled a thick teat between her knuckles.

@momijams donated $40 @subbywoofers: good work, joule :joule: @moofan7 donated $25 @9tailtrouble donated $75

After a minute, her breasts had visibly gone down in size. Mocha held up her hand, signaling Joule to stop for now. The catgirl obediently let go, releasing the heavy, wet breasts with a PLAP.

“That’s the most effective way to do it. On suppressants, I need to do that for about an hour every night. Without suppressants, like right now, it’d probably take two or three hours to get me back down to normal size.”

@moofan7: doesn’t seem so bad @9tailtrouble: that was. wow. @9tailtrouble: im kinda jealous NGL @tinkretor donated $100

“It does have its perks,” agreed Mocha, reading the chat. “It’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” She looked back at Joule, thoughtful.

“I’ve had a lot of fun tonight. And you all have been so generous with the donations! I can’t thank you enough.” She sighed.

“But I’m gonna try. Here’s one last treat before I log off. Joule?”

“Yeah babe?” the catgirl licked her lips.

“Show them what happens when you suck a cowgirl’s tits.”

Joule didn’t hesitate. She pounced on Mocha’s left tit, wrapping her lips around the stiff nipple. She began slurping down milk, rolling the teat with her tongue. Her hand reached up to stroke the right teat, tugging and playing with the spraying bud.

Mocha began growing. Each boob was quickly regaining the mass it had just lost, swelling outwards as they kicked into overdrive to feed the hungry mouth. Mocha moo’d frantically, grabbing her girlfriend by the scruff and pulling her tight against her growing flesh. The exposed right nipple was growing alongside its breast, nearly two inches long and spraying cream from a dozen thick arcs. Droplets of milk flecked the camera lens. Soon, each breast was the size of a prize-winning pumpkin and still growing.

@9tailtrouble donated $75 @momijams donated $120 @momijams: educational :) @theinfirminator donated $90 @theinfirminator: we love you mo! @9tailtrouble: not how i expected tonight to go. thank you mo, you rock!! @moofan7 donated $50 @subbywoofers donated $500 @tinkretor donated $100 User @xXTheMoShow94Xx suspended. Chat log ended.

***

“Well, that’s a new record.”

Joule held the measuring tape around her girlfriend’s bust. “109.4 inches.”

Mocha sat on a groaning stool in the master bathroom, watching the stream recording on her phone. She wanted a measurement before they got to work at milking her down to size again. It’s gonna be a long night. I don’t think Joule minds, though. Paprika won’t mind when she gets home, either.

She set down the phone, looking out over the expanse of her bust. “I’m fucking huge.” She grinned, then moo’d with an aftershock of the last climax.

“Well, only one thing left to do about it.”

User: Mocha @theMoShow 9:47 pm (PST) What a great stream tonight! Thank you so much to all my amazing fans. For those who missed it, future streams will be going in a slightly new direction. Next week’s show will be on our new channel at onlyfurs.com I’ll see you all then!

***

This one was a lot of fun to write! It ended up being like 4x longer than I initially planned, and I think it's all for the better. I really enjoyed making the stream chats in particular. Oh btw, sex workers are workers and deserve rights. Thank them for all the amazing things they do!

[neetily]

꣑୧ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ── MATCHUP EVENT: Date #2

♡ cupid's victim number two !! ♡

hello hello my love!! thank you for taking part in this silly little event, i really appreciate your enthusiasm and kindness throughout! i hope you enjoy the characters i've picked for you, i thought long and hard about them!

─ you have one new message from...

Abigail . . .

hey, sorry. i know it's really late right now and that i shouldn't be texting you at this hour, but... well, i just really miss you tbh lol. hope we can hang out again soon! miss you! kissing you!

Why? i'm gonna be honest, i almost picked sebastian instead! not because im biased, but i think he would actually be my second choice for you after some thought! as for why i ultimately settled on abigail, well... most of all, i feel like abigail is most suited for you due to your shy personality type! it's always nice to have someone who understands you, and i think abigail would understand you completely, especially given the fact that she's friends with sebastian too and understands the shy/anxious personality type well. but, she's got that little bit of edge to her that sebastian lacks in social settings, that hint of extroversion that i feel like you would really benefit from! if she ever sees you struggling in public, be that from stuttering or otherwise appearing socially exhausted, abigail is right there to carry the burden of conversation for you! i just think she'd be so easy going, willing and wanting to chill at home if you wanted to, but also readily and easily able to help you feel safe and relaxed when your shyness might rear its head; so accommodating and adaptable of everything, y'know? she'd be such a gem (haha, get it?) at making sure you're happy first and foremost, which i think is something you'd really appreciate! abi would be sooooo protective over you i just know it!

i think she'd appreciate your ability to reign her in at times, too. she can have a very black and white outlook on life in my opinion, and i think you would help her see the grey areas more often in life. you warm her up when she's acting a bit too cold!

also: gamer girl. need i say more? im imagining you both cuddled up together on the floor where she usually games... big blanket wrapped around both bodies, nestled neatly between her legs with her arms wrapped around you, controller resting against your thighs. yeahhh, gamer girl abi is for you <3 !!

Hey, look . . .

though she feels a pointed ache in her heart at leaving you stranded in the middle of the zoo plaza, seated nicely at one of the park benches and waiting for her to get back from the bathroom, she knows deep down in her heart that you'll forgive her for her brief detour the second you see why she had to take it.

the zoo is nice, if a bit large. she worries she'll lose you in such wide open spaces, especially considering that there are lots of pretty and peculiar animals to look at— she knows what you're like, a smile creeping on her lips at the though. this wasn't her first choice for date night, but that's easily pushed aside when she gets to witness just how wide your pretty smile gets upon seeing the new animals behind glass or iron— you make it all worth it, honestly. and so she can't help but to steal a sneak peek of your idle expression behind the tree she's using as cover, the way you kick your legs out absentmindedly, fixing your glasses before enjoying the relaxing hum of the nature that surrounds you.

she's happy you picked the zoo, because you suit the backdrop of green so well, ah... you have heart heart stuttering without so much as a glance!

and would that she could stand in secrecy to watch you all day, but she hadn't even needed the bathroom in the first place to be honest. instead, using it as an excuse to retrace her steps around a corner or two; not too far, she doesn't wanna leave you for too long! but something had caught her eye on the way towards the next exhibit, and thankfully, you had missed it.

on account of her yapping, of course. unintentionally at best, but she just adores how you so easily listen to her rambles, unable to wipe the smile off her face when approaching the gift stand with only the thought of you on her mind, and how you deserve soooo much more, but this is a start, right?

"hey..." she pouts at you, immediately breaking into a cheesy grin the moment you look up at her, "sorry i took so long, it's just—" ah, her hands are shaking, a sudden wave of upset rolling through her tummy to leave her choking on her words. and it doesn't help that you merely peer up at her, idle expression as pretty as ever, but fuck she's so in love with you that it's making her nervous. clutching the soft item behind her back a little tighter, breathing in deeply, and exhaling sharply. c'mon, you've got this abi...!

"here!" she suddenly rushes out, embarrassment tainting her cheeks all warm as she shoves the relatively giant snake plushie in front of your face, her own eyes squeezed tightly shut in an effort to escape your assumed ridicule. it's silly, right? a childish gift, im sorry i couldn't get you anything better!

but when she feels you gently accept the toy, her eyes ping open. wide stare back down at you as she chews on her bottom lip anxiously, she can't help but to spill. "do you like it? i— i saw it when passing and thought— god, it's— it's so perfect for you, y'know, and so i had to just sneak away and—"

"you're right, abi," you smile up at her, warm and soft and right, yeah. this is why she loves you so much, that single expression is enough to have her melting into you, practically falling into the seat next to you with a heavy sigh. "it's perfect! thank you so much for thinking about me!"

and she's about to play it cool, brush it off as just something good girlfriends do, and as such, requires no praise. but the way you peck her cheek so sweetly, prompting her to catch a glimpse of how tightly you grasp the toy snake has her lungs filling with butterflies instead.

you won't blame her for grabbing those puffy little cheeks of yours and squishing them together in a heartbeat, right? peppering kisses all over your face; you're just too cute for her to handle!

— you like to... do something creative when alone! here is a moodboard that i think fits your matchup!

Robin . . .

omg, that new game we were excited about releases in under 12 hours!! we should totally have a sleepover and skip school tomorrow to play it!! meet me in my room later x

Why? nerd alert!!! (affectionate), you two would be PERFECT for each other in my opinion, because you guys share a lot of the same traits! you're both relatively introverted, but not afraid to stand up for each other; though i do think you'll find that you're the one mostly standing up for robin instead of the other way around! not that he'd never stand up for you, he's just more prone to being a fail boy (which is cute, right?). and he'd be the perfect height for you too, because i view him as the second shortest of the LI's! another gamer for you to bond with was my main point, honestly. sharing that interest in the comfort of robin's room, away from the rest of the world where you two both get to understand each other completely <3 i also think that he's a good pick for you because of how kind he is, and how he'd treat you with the kind of care and compassion you deserve! like a loyal dog or smth, y'know? he'd be so soft and sweet with you, making sure to take note of all those little details others so often miss, something i attribute to you also!

there's just something about him that SCREAMS animal lover to me too, and i know deep down in my bones that he'd just simply adore any pet you have, taking great interest in their care so that he can pay attention to them just as much as you do <3!! when you're taking a break to game, he'd be caring for the pets, and vice versa!

robin is just such a sweetie pie, i mostly think that you deserve the kind treatment he'd offer you !

No, never . . .

after a lovely day out at the zoo together, the weather acting kind for once too, there's no better way to end things than with a quick gaming session together, robin thinks. at least, he hopes you feel the same way too? allowing you to babble about animals all morning and afternoon— never mind the veritable zoo you already have in your own space, its a genuine joy to hear you ramble. but also, hear him out, getting to relax with the love of his life in relative peace and quiet except for the beeping and swooshing of the tv screen in front of him is just soooo comforting, right? like a nostalgia trip but in the present, coaxing him into letting out a little yawn from above you while you mash buttons.

he had fun today, as he always does when he's around you. god, he can't help but to smile at even just the thought of you, nevermind to have you in his arms right now after such a fun day out together. but he's also downright exhausted now, allowing you complete control of the game in favour of leaning back with you between his legs, sat neatly on his lap to provide some pressure. it's comfortable, the sun is setting sweetly across your cheeks, he's happy, you're happy, and he can't imagine life getting any better than right now.

every now and then, his eyes close to the flashing lights that surround him, his tired ears occasionally picking up a word or two that tumbles from your still babbling lips. something, something, snake. something something, big. something something, cute. and he's trying to listen in, really! he loves hearing you chat about your interests, content enough to simply let you enjoy yourself amongst his lap while he closes his eyes for just a moment or two; revelling in just how happy and peaceful he feels for once.

but your surprise flat question begs for an answer, his brows furrowing the moment those worried words slip past your lips.

"... sorry, i think i spoke too much..."

immediately, a loving tut escapes him, heavy eyes staring down at you before he rests his chin against the top of your head, wrapping his arms around you tighter to pull you into a snug hug. he should be that one apologising for not listening well enough, it's just that you lull him into such sweet serenity so easily, he hadn't a chance at fighting back.

"no, no, no. never, kitten. please, keep talking. s'nice." he mumbles, trailing off into another yawn, giving the top of your head a quick peck before settling back again, a genuine sleepy smile tugging at his lips when you so easily give him what he wants.

he could listen to you talk all day and never get bored, especially if it's about your interests. a certain warmth filling his chest to leave him a little dizzy with affection; he knows it's not the setting sun heating him up, anyway.

— you like to... do something creative when alone! here is a moodboard that i think fits your matchup!

[daewonbh]

what's good gamers!? i'm eight and i'm tardy to the party because i have an insane sleep schedule lately. i have links below that will give you a bit more to work with, and under the cut i'll introduce you to my stressed out son, im daewon. give the like button a lil love tap for me and i'll raid your ims so that we can plot.

dossier / memoir / appendix / plots

*˖ ⠀key points.

his mother was an opera singer, renowned for her talent and beauty. daewon idolizes his mother quite a bit. there were whispers that she was killed because she was a noble's mistress, yet his mentality is 'don't care it was the man's fault mom did nothing wrong' ( he has no clue what went on but there will be no im hyejin slander ).

he does not know shit about his father. he could be dead in a ditch, daewon would have no idea. he blames all of his bad traits on him.

for the first six years and some odd months of his life, he was raised by his mother in the beonhwa outskirts. his mother tragically passed in a house fire, leaving him to stay with the neighbor who rescued him until his eventual adoption by the house of magnolia at age 7.

magnolia's third in line ; he has no drive to rise any further in the ranks.

he's been busting his ass for his house since he was young to both rise up to the third spot, and now to maintain his position. he has a weird sense of obligation to the house for doing the bare minimum.

*˖ ⠀personality.

so very smart, but so very dumb. he's just a silly goofy lad.

tries his absolute best to be someone that's kind and approachable. though sometimes when he opens his mouth he's too critical or insensitive that he accidentally comes off as an asshole. (good intentions, terrible execution)

goes through periods of being very high energy and very low energy.. he's never in the middle.

he deals with a lot of conflicting feelings regarding his adoption — he's grateful for his basic needs being met but the amount of expectations that come along with being a child of one of the three houses weighs him down. he misses the freedom of just being daewon, the opera singer's son and not being im daewon, magnolia's third in line.

big on masking, both his mental health and feelings. his public persona is that of someone fairly easy-going, on the chattier side, could be perceived as fun but in a calm way, someone focused heavily on his pursuit for knowledge / those who see who he really is in private are used to dealing with both sides of him. one of being a bit quieter, not feeling like he has to engage as much as he does in public. they're used to him being more impulsive, freely making jokes and letting his feelings slip more often than not.

*˖ ⠀possible connections.

(for older muses) people that knew his mother ; he would love to hear stories about her.

(again, implied for older muses) someone that recognizes him for the stressed out child he is and has that underlying urge to baby him, bonus points if they too, are just a stressed out child.

(second muse inspo :eyes:) a grimy con man trying to claim he's daewon's biological father, so that he can have an in with one of the three houses. bonus points if they're not traditionally handsome so daewon can pull the 'no offense.. but my mom had standards' card.

(second muse inspo) siblings, siblings, siblings. right now daewon's the only magnolia affiliated muse and i crave violence both friendly and cunning sibling plots.

someone that sees daewon sneaking out on a regular and is wondering why he's always vaulting over the fence of the magnolia residence like he's some anime protag late for school.

moon tavern regulars!! he's there occasionally when he wishes to unwind. the lively atmosphere makes him feel right at home.

fellow animal lovers, daewon is a stray feeder, overly attached to animals that aren't his. he would listen to someone talk about their pet for hours — he's also this post for sure.

when daewon was younger, he was saved by one of his neighbors from a house fire. this same neighbor let him stay with their family until he was adopted by the house of magnolia. so any family to this neighbor, or for an older muse, the neighbor themselves.

someone that points out to daewon that he shouldn't feel so obligated that he was given basic necessities, maybe they have a darker view of how house of magnolia takes in these children and how exploitative it can be.

i have more on my actual plots page, these were just some additional ones my brain could come up with. if you've read through all of this, you're legally obligated to love me ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

[swampgallows]

I just started playing wow. Perhaps it is because i am an old person without much knowledge of these things, but you know, your posts really give me the wrong idea about Garrosh. It was surprising to know that he nuked a whole city. World of warcrime even.

To be fair i followed you for orc thirst and some memes. I was never really a "gamer", maybe i should have read the fics and the text posts. Oh well, nice grindy game though. I am playing as a holy priest vulpera!

yeah he is umm definitely a criminal guy. i mean you saw his book right? it's literally called war crimes LOL

i used to talk about the garrosh meta more when he was still a living character, and back when i had more to say that i hadn't already said about it over the years. but yeah the tldr on my attachment to garrosh is that he started out as a way, way different character than the character he was eventually railroaded into becoming, and so it sucked to watch suicidal orphan become genocidal dictator then vaporized in super hell. i have a lot of feelings about it because im also mentally ill™ n all that, cautionary tale, blah blah.

burning crusade garrosh my beloved.... i love him in wotlk too (that's what cemented my attachment anyway)

i'm glad youre enjoying the game! I've been playing wotlk classic lately and enjoying the trip down memory lane, as well as the old game mechanics, but there are quite a few quality of life improvements in retail that i do miss. if you're ever on wyrmrest accord server, feel free to hit up Arete! That's my main :)

[tomatoberry4]

hi, im tomato berry! but everyone calls me tom. im probably old enough to be your father or at least your shift manager. i use he/it pronouns! ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

im a trainer and a big fan of zubat, emoticons, and berries. im doing a gym challenge right now!

i dont like evil team sympathizers please leave me alone. i have a tendency to go off the grid for weeks at a time.

enjoy your stay on my blog!

[OOC INFORMATION UNDER THE CUT.]

ooc information now

hi im mothman i follow from @moethman tom is 39 but i am 17 so keep that in mind [reclines and stretches my legs]. i keep taking like 50 million breaks due to Mental Illness but im back now brother.

i also run @eeveelover7492

i am autistic and very nervous so keep that in mind when interacting with me. if i vanish for a short time, its nothing personal. i love doing hands on good old "formal" roleplay so hit me up if you wanna do that.

i dont give a fuck if legendaries or sentient pokemon or fallers and shit interact. tom may not believe you at first but he wont say anything. if you are affiliated with evil teams i also dont mind but tom will be incredibly hostile towards you.

useless tom fun facts

i need to come up with stupid bullshit about him or ill die ill fucking DIEE

- he is bi-aro and transgender

- i dont think tom would like horror movies with a lot of gore. its not that he cant handle it, he has a very good stomach for blood and all that gritty shit. he just gets tired of violent media. he fucks with psychological horror though

- he doesnt mind it to an extent though it all depends. he would appreciate silent hill for its story and themes. he wouldnt be big on resident evil but he wouldnt mind 7 + 8 because "i think ethans a good man. id love to fight him one day."

- he was born to be a gamer but tragically lived the kind of life where it was never possible

- tom kins crobat but he doesnt really know what kinning means

- tom has a gun he just doesnt bring her up online because he has nothing appropriate to say about her. her name is peaches and shes honestly more just a novelty comfort item than something he uses.

- tom has a concerning amount of knowledge on weapons in general

- tom in general has just become terrifyingly powerful from brawling with pokemon on a near daily basis for most of his adult life, but hes not as tough as he used to be

- on his old blog tom lied about his age by 3 years even though there was literally no point in doing so

- tom used to hate swearing but now hes seen the light and swears sometimes. he wont swear on here much though hes a man of principle and also he made not swearing a personality trait so hes embarrassed about the whole thing

- its not fully clear whether not tom does all of this as a bit or not

[astralartefact]

a nier reincarnation tierlist, but why make it easy if you can be annoying and write an analysis of every theme in the gacha game nobody cares about

notes

the following contains far too much analysis for my own good

for many of these you need to also at least know their dark stories to make sense of what i'm writing below the cut (but don't worry i haven't read them all either)

i just wanted a picture for my write up and was too lazy to draw 21 characters so don't take the tierlist too seriously

i call it reinkane for short bc that's its japanese hashtag (i know cane and kane are spelled the same in katakana but as a german i'm more comfortable with ks i guess)

also i know it's Gamer blasphemy to praise a gacha game but i think reincarnation is my favorite nier game im sorry okay i know that's a bad thing to admit but i need you to know i have bad taste

on reincarnation's theme

...and write an analysis of every theme in the gacha...

there is only 1 theme. probably more, but you'll see what i mean

it took me an embarrasing amount of time of going "well, but what is this game really about" (you know, since the other niers are about something too) to realize that it is indeed just about reincarnation - it's just thinking about it in a more abstract/straightforward way.

because the thing that tripped me up was that only about 2 and a half stories are actually about what I thought of as reincarnation (death -> next person) so it can't possibly be about that, right? but if we think about reincarnation as an abstract concept of "something is passed on to somebody else next in line" then basically every single one of these character stories is about that in some sort of way - and at the end of the day isn't having children some form of reincarnation? one of those things where i'm like did everyone else already notice this and its just so basic of an observation that nobody talks about it and i don't want to start the conversation in case it makes me look dumb

the core theme reinkane explores isn't just that though, it's more specifically the loss of agency through this "reincarnation" - it's about parents making decisions for their children, it's about people who don't get to decide for themselves because others already decided for them and in that the writers repeatedly pull from certain 'sub-themes' aside from familial ties:

royalty (basically a more overt version of loss of agency through birth/familial ties - children of reigning royals are born with certain responsibilities they never asked for simply by being children of their parents)

robots (beings created for a purpose by somebody who decides that purpose for them)

heavily enforced societal rules / decisions (rules you have to obey just by being born without any choice not to. it's more of a broader reincarnation in that entire generations make decisions that generations after suffer from instead of 1 person to 1 person)

war (similar to the above, war is basically about somebody forcing their decisions onto somebody else and especially the people who don't even have a say in it have to suffer for it)

and for the most part all of the stories (with a few exceptions) are to some degree about one or more of these. so let's get into some of my favorites:

sarafa

my love. it took a while for me to warm up to her, but once i put it all together i'm just... *chef's kiss* i hope they don't introduce new characters (aside from major ones like mama's true form or something) because she's the perfect book end character to end on.

not only is she a royal character like the very first character (rion), she's also one of the few characters to actually interpret this sort of reincarnation as a good thing!

it's very found family in that the "royal reincarnation" is still very very bad and even worse than rion's for example, but the reincarnation as part of this line of princesses sent to the slaughter also harbors a good thing, since only through their inter-generational sharing of knowledge that is built on all of the princesses that came before sarafa she can finally break the cycle, even if it ends up revealing something far worse.

saryu, hina & yuzuki

if you haven't noticed it yet, the current era of nier (starting after automata) is the "we're ruining our children" era. yorha:dark apocalypse, reinkane, all of voice of cards and even yoko taro's amazarashi (nier anime ed) music video is about it. like literally all of it.

anyways: all three of them (for saryu it's her ex story) are about how their parent's decisions influence their children's lives to a massive degree, in saryu's case it's the absence of her mother that shapes her entire life and with hina & yuzuki it's obvious i think.

hina & yuzuki get bonus points for being the most straightforward "this is how this theme looks in real life" about the theme even if them murdering their parents is obviously heightened for dramatic effect

also i have nothing to say about the hamelin lore except yuzuki turning into a red eye makes him canonically an incel and i won't explain why

priyet

another one where it took me a while to really get what is going on. at first i wasn't too keen on her story since i read her being a monster that wants to hide herself as one of those queer-werewolf allegories that I personally am just not really a fan of. but then i read her hidden stories (because yes. the first four hidden stories for every character are "lore" relevant. somebody is having an aneurysm as we speak foaming at the mouth over "kingdom hearts bullshit") and i like that a lot more even if it's probably more problematic?

basically since most people probably didn't read them bc unlocking them is a bother (if only there was a website for that) the guy who is friends with her and saryu (the one that priyet murders at the end of saryu's story) has a crush on priyet (literal love triangle!!!) and through misunderstandings and bad communication he keeps escalating their relationship until

His whisper played in my ears over and over and over and— "No! I hate this! I HATE it!" Every place he touched me was covered in filth. Every glance caused my hair to stand on end. "I'm gross! I'm dirty! I'm disgusting! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I'm going to be sick!" I took a pair of scissors and jammed them into my bed over and over. By the end of it, my room was a disaster and my throat raw from screaming, but I still felt no better. "Why...?" If things went bad between the two of us, what would happen to me and her? Oh, but I knew. She'd take his side— of course she would. And then we wouldn't be friends anymore.

her hidden story is a surprisingly nuanced look into what makes consent (or rather what doesnt) that i very much appreciate especially coming from japanese writers who are kind of universally handwaved as 'well it's a different culture, they're living behind the moon'

of course that boy is just a child and made a mistake, but society taught him - intentionally or not - to assume that her being nice (because they're friends) must mean she's fair game and her saying no is just her "not being confident" so he just keeps going and it results in her literally becoming a monster that needs to hide her sullied body beneath a table cloth.

and there's also something in there where this interacts so beautifully with her being gay. like it doesn't even occur to the boy that priyet might not even be into boys in general and now everything has gotten so much more complicated for her at a time in her life where everything is already complicated enough as it is, only because a guy decided he likes her and gave her no real choice about it - and all of that because society thought it was a good idea to demand eternal romance bonding at 14 because without that the boy wouldn't feel the pressure to establish a relationship in the first place (there it is, we took the long way back around to the theme of societal rule enforcement)

(side note: i fully understand if some people like this less than queer werewolves especially since it's a really sensitive topic. i personally think it's fine - since all of this game is about the fact that we learn/"reincarnate with" bad things from our predecessors i read priyet's story as that, a situation where all of these terrible values come together to utterly fuck her up - but if it's a no from you i think that's perfectly valid as well.)

also the absolute gall of reinkane to introduce a magic school and make one of the two protags meaningfully gay right when jk pops off

marie & yurie

these two are special because it's just one and zero all over again and i will take any dod3 reference i can get... their chapters are literally called "One Vow" and "Proof of Zero" - and yes that's also a binary code reference but yurie literally doesn't have a right eye how much more overt can it get... well maybe like this:

marie being the "heroic ruler" who wants to save everybody and do right by her people, who sings to spread her magic (of hope), but fails not only because it's not meant to be since the world doesn't allow for happy endings but also at the hands of her ruthless sister... why yes, I also approvingly nod my head at war crimes because they're drakengard references.

the only minus marie gets from me is that all of her concept designs are so much better. but this one looks so similar to hina. i get that her hairstyle looks more like one now but you could at least have given her black hair or something idk

they fit into the general theme that noelle and dimos (and F66) also partially explore, that robots are created with a purpose that benefits us humans - but if these robots are genuinely thinking beings, do we rob them of their agency by pushing our needs onto them? And Yurie only wants Marie's eye because humanity tells her that she "lacks it" - so even when she decides to take it because she knows she lacks something, is that really her agency? Fascinating stuff to think about.

(also the fact that humanity created a robot and took the robot's agency about taking humanities agency)

yudil

he is the bestest boy, he speaks to me as a ffxiv samurai main. i haven't read most his non main stories yet, but i have a feeling it's the one nier story that is at least in part about capitalism??

also it's nice to see that this game at least tries to not only have pale skinned characters. it's probably not a particularly noteworthy depiction of an arabian nights sort of setting, but i guess we have to set the bar low since a certain other insanely lucrative gacha game is planning to introduce a literal prison wasteland as the country all black people come from and a certain other recently released game that adds 2 more lore units to 14 can somehow literally be about the discrimination of minorities and slavery and still decide that the progressive option was to delete all black people from existence (honestly the writers/whoever else is to blame for that should be ashamed. can't call that anything but ludicrously tone-deaf and embarrassing.)

F66x

I'll be real. I appreciate F66x being here. I think it's really cool they commit to her bald head in all of her costumes (despite me loving her dark story 4 hairstyle...) And you can just tell she has it going on. Like Super Mario RPG levels of "I never really played this but I just know this is special and deserves all the praise it gets." But I just. Don't really care that much for some reason??

The thing is I really should!! She has the flowers, she has weird religious shit going on, all of the signs of some relation to the groteskerie queen - but I guess when her and 063y's chapters first came out the connection to dod3 was too obvious, which made it unappealing to me? idk it felt like a red herring (and it honestly still does) so i never really connected to it all that much

argo, 063y and gayle

the dads + gayle are interesting because they actually reverse our viewpoint on reincarnation. most of the other stories are from the reincarnated person's view, but these stories are about the characters that were reincarnated from and how that fucks them over too.

well, okay, argo not really, argo's story isn't about him it's about his daughter, which means technically it is exactly like the other ones, but i include him because the first part still applies (which is btw why he scores relatively high on my list, once you realize his story isn't about him i think that makes it more interesting. does it replicate the heightened value fathers get ascribed to in family dynamics or does it comment on it...?)

but 063y and Gayle also lose their agency because something happens to the person that reincarnated from them. Every version of 063y fights the flowers to protect his son - because that's what fathers do. But is that really agency? Is there really a choice in that? Same thing with Gayle even if it's about her sister instead.

of course that's also where the war theme comes in since it made this lack of choice even happen in the first place - but it's easy to imagine that without a sibling/child (/parent in the case of lars, who is very similar in that regard but from the other side of reincarnation) all of these people could have more easily chosen different and try and get away for example.

kaine's grandma

and this is where i announce that we have a special guest tonight, it's the one and only Kali from NieR Replicant and she's joining the ring with a steel chair!!!

no really though

when i first saw that scene at the end of sun/moon in the trailer for the final episode (the one where hina/yuzuki are trapped in the lunar tear meadow with kaine's shack) i sighed. is this necessary? literal reference for references sake. where does this come from. you just took that one scene people know and stuffed it in here. could you not come up with anything else that you could have referenced? like come on we're all only waiting for accord here.

turns out i was wrong, it's not just a random reference. it perfectly fits the theme :) with good-enough dreaming energy you too can explain away any plot inconsistencies

it took me until i did the scene again to get to the secret ending, but i realized that kaine's relationship to her grandma is one of those "reincarnations" that actually works. and while she does fall into a "revenge for dead relative" thing similar to gayle and lars, the things she learned from kali are the things that end up protecting her. without kali kaine wouldn't have become the person that would end up helping nier and emil.

it's a reincarnation story that never put kaine into a place where simply because she was kali's grand-daughter she was in a worse place than before - and unlike lars or gayle she can decide to go after hook on her own terms because hook isn't a literal war that she doesn't have any meaningful impact on. (i'm losing the thread here i think but i hope you get what i'm talking about)

(and yes i do think that was the point of including that scene since you find the key to the door next to where kali's picture is and also the replicant event quest is about kaine and kali too so it was probably already on their mind)

the rest (sorry season 1)

honorable mention to rikachimalu(fio's jp seiyuu) bc i love her, she's precious and i think it's kind of funny that she's voicing a nier protagonist and as such is one of the most frequent guests on reincarnation livestreams despite being kind of out of place lol (don't have much to say about fio though except that she's also firmly in "reincarnation through royalty" territory while also getting some "enforced societal rules" through the oppressive caste system she finds herself in)

kind of pains me that i don't have a seperate section for noelle bc i do think she's interesting, but i already said everything i wanted to say about her in the sections above

akeha is super straightforward family baggage, i think you can figure her out on your own

levania and his whole thing with his mom (hidden stories) tells me that they probably also fall into the entire theme of agency loss through reincarnation much more than i first thought, but i haven't looked into it enough to make any statement on it

i included mama since we finally get to know more about her in season 3 - which does look like it follows the established theme too btw! for speculations sake i do think it would be very in theme for mama to basically add her own story into the cage to help the fight and now this character mama - as a seperate version of the 'real' mama - has to deal with existing as a reincarnation bound to wander and defend the cage by her real version's choice

you couldn't pay me to care about rion and dimos, it's not happening and trust me i tried. it's an aesthetic thing, i liked rion's original design so much that i assumed he would lean into a different aesthetic and now all of his other outfits were disappointments and i don't like him. yes i do judge books by their cover too

finale

i know reinkane gets a bad rep bc it's a gacha game that god forbid expects you to play it and while i do think the gameplay is a dumb reason to hate it since some people - especially japanese players apparently - just love this style of game, i also won't be the person to tell you to play a gacha game.

it is some level of commitment to successfully free-to-play it and especially if you're prone to spending money on gachas please just stay away from it and check out videos or the stories on nierrein.guide. while they are still giving out lots of stuff every so often they also have in recent times added more and more stuff to push you to spend money (before awakening stones there was no reason to re-pull characters since you could upgrade the re-pull stuff with event items and before the character elements you also didn't need that many characters)

and while i can wish all i want that it wasn't a gacha game, at least with yoko taro i know that this thing i love wouldn't exist if it wasn't a gacha game. (no really the people who 'wish it wasn't a gacha game' need to realize that he wouldn't have made anything remotely resembling this if he wasn't told to make a gacha game. you can still wish it! but him being forced to make games and making the best of it is yoko taros whole thing)

also i know we attribute all of the nier stuff to just yoko taro as short hand - and he definitely deserves punishment for what he has done - but this is once more an invitation to also cuRSE YUKI WADA'S NAME!!! HE DID SUN MOON STORY AND VoC FORSAKEN MAIDEN TO ME!!! ALSO GIVE ME ANOGG YORHA DARK APOCALYPSE AS A REINKANE CHARACTER SHE FOLLOWS THE THEME PERFEC-----

[sp1tballz]

General creepypasta headcanons :)?

Im gonna give you my top 3 creepypasta guys I like a lot <3 Not including Toby because I just did his (Im also bumming some of these off of my friends @spinningtusk and @memeliamarie)

Eyeless Jack

-We all know the story, healthcare student

-Kids division! He's great with kids before demonification

-I think a bit of that still lingers after... its just, you know, harder to do that without being faced with screams of terror

-I don't like the "He's limited ONLY to human meat" hc I just think thats his favorite treat and he eats it a lot (comfort meal moment /J)

-Occasionally he goes back to his human favorites for a sense of nostalgia though

-Personally. I don't think he'd like jtk. One part being Jtk is essentially a kid, and another part being he'd view him as a whiney brat because jtk is a whiney brat

-Advanced surgical knowledge allows him to also stitch up victims after he ate their organs. Not really relevent to anything but its SO funny to imagine he took the time to make them look neat before getting the fuck outta there !!

Helen Otis/Bloody Painter

-Artistic and poetic soul

-I dont talk much about romance stuff in these hcs but Helen...

-He's secretive about the murders, in his day to day he's described as manipulative and apathetic

-In my head, he uses that to a sorta advantage. Good with words = Good with flattery. In any case, You'd fall for him in .2 seconds flat.

-"You're as radiant as the moon overlooking a crystal clear lake" "You're a gem. To lose you would be a horrible devistation to this world and to myself." "May I paint you? I would love to have the memory of tonight, forever."

-I cant get over this guy

-He uses it as a lure. Get you in close, then go for the kill.

-Other than that, I can see him not having very many friends in his adult life.

-I imagine he attracts horrors a lot. He's bumped into BEN and Toby once or twice, he's regularly visited by The Puppeteer, Jack stops by every now and again to see if he has anything to spare, etc. He's like the monster hot spot, somehow he attracts all these creatures.

-He has paintings of all of them too <3 Tokens of gratitude for keeping him company.

BENDrowned

-Gamer

-Ik we hate the emo headcanon or whatever but hes a teenaged emo boy

-He doesnt smoke weed. Toby does. It's an influential force, and sometimes they smoke together.

-Troublemaker.

-My friend lio (@spinningtusk) imagines Ben and BEN to be two different people. Ben being the boy who's possessed and BEN who's the possessor

-Ben is nicer to talk to than BEN

-Toby also likes Ben more than BEN

-I personally dont have very many headcanons for him, I just think he'd be a fun friend to have under the right circumstances. Toby found those circumstances, theyre an inseparable pair in my eyes. Best friends (maybe more 😲)

[yanderu-deredere]

the m in may is for marriage

a/n: did i self insert into this one a bit too much? yes. is it painful? also yes LMAO neway hope you guys can relate and, if not, im so sorry and please skip this one

warning: female neutral reader, misogynistic language towards reader, video game terms but i tried to keep it vague prompt: day three ★ playing a competitive video game together

ryouta watanabe ★ profile

You loved playing video games with your husband, even though he was what people called a 'casual gamer'. He was really good at video games but he didn't play as often because there were other video games he liked better.

The rare times the two of you did play competitive games together, it was a blast, especially on games where the two of you could work together to beat other people.

Other times, though, it wasn't that fun at all.

"What the fuck are you, a woman? Fucking work on your arm, you pussy shit."

You almost slammed your mouse into your monitor, a scowl playing across your lips. Ryouta could see from his seat next to you how angry you were.

The guy on the team voice chat had been absolutely gross the entire game and all you wanted to do was get the game over and done with.

You hadn't even talked on voice chat at all, in fear of confirming the stupid guy's suspicions that you were a woman and 'that was why you sucked at gaming'. It wasn't, of course, but that guy would use any excuse to put a woman down right?

Thankfully, the game was almost over, and it at least lifted your spirits that Ryouta was the highest scoring person on the team by a long shot. He basically carried the entire team to win.

As the timer ticked down and your win was assured, Ryouta gestured you over and pointed to his mic. You were busy listening to that jerk ramble on about how the top scorer was surely a man--

What Ryouta wanted clicked immediately in your head. You giggled but immediately leaned over.

"Great game, team. Have a nice rest of your day."

The explosion the guy had over your voice was definitely worth it.

[superemeralds]

🌷How will they deal with saying goodbye?

👯‍♀️How often do they see the others? Their other friends, too?

🖤Free space! Ask what you like, or request a random headcanon

<- hit us with your weirdest shot?

🌷shadow and omega b oth have very complicated relationships w the concept of good bye. they don't really age or die? omega specifically has the advantage of having very limited emotion and a highly logic mind, so he would not waste energy mourning and accept when things end. Shadow is def still trying to figure it all out. as of rn in universe ofc he doesn't have to think abt it much yet, he's doing his best to prevent his friends from harm right now, and he'd rather just face the problems as they happen. especially in shth he learned that theres no use thinking about the what ifs, because there's a right now that needs to be dealt with. the more he thinks about what differenciates him from others the less he can concentrate on what matters: the things he's got in common. like the ground beneath their feet, the star they orbit around, the wind that blows in their faces... He knows about the inevitability of death enough through maria, and he will try his best to not make the same mistake twice. he's determined to move on. ofc its easier said than done, especially in the conceptual event that rouge would fall in combat or even worse.. because of a mistake that he made.. but there are so many possibilities that i could analyze we'd be here for ever.........

rouge herself i think hasdealt with loss before, and she might have had some history with people that she has cut out of her lives. it might seem cold but i think she as a person has mastered the art of severing. whether its healthy is not the question rn... she def has a very soft spot for shadow and omega, tho as stated above these two are really hard to kill so there's not much to worry about in that regard, if anything it's a worry that might not plague her right now, but eventually she's going to think about what it means to be the one that's being severed by forces beyond anyone's control

anyways i dont wanna get existential this morning so this is where i stop

👯‍♀️I headcanon rouge has some friends she regularly meets in her bar (i'll let it be open if it actually belongs to her or if she's just a regular) and she would def visit knuckles every now and then. not saying she'd like. actually talk to him tho. might just lurk in a bush and stare at the master emerald

omega is a tough one to think about tbh. i admittedly don't have too many thoughts on him outside of being part of the team... this is telling me i need to dig more into his individual character tbh. what would he do for fun? when not with the otehr two?? Maybe he actually is like a gamer playing shooters and made friends in voice chat. no one believes him when he introduced himself as killermachine, they think its just a nickname

shadow likes solitude, but i really like that one bit in the recent twitter take over where he and knuckles stood in the forest for hours watching the plants and animals and hwo the light changes throughout the day while going through the leaves etc etc... theyre both very connected to nature in their own ways and i think they could bond over that. also about how they both prefer solitude. they can be alone together! they dont need any words, they can just exist next to eachother for a few hours and feel good about it. he also most surely hangs out with sonic every now and then. hangingout being racing and having a good fight together. though im sure sonic can eventually convince him to spend proper time together. for example making a race into a trekking tour where they go random places sonic knows or doesnt know yet, and they learn about the culture and obviously the food. shadow does seem like someone who'd like to learn about the planet, and sonic's the type of guy who's super eager to have someone to show around and explore with that can keep up!

🖤oh man idk weirdness is super subjective. uh. i wrote a fanfic once about how team dark and team sonic have a bowling competition

[thedumestflower]

(DONT READ THIS ITS BAD)Boyfreinds webcomic criticism/rant

TLDR; boyfriends webtoon is lame and mid because its kinda icky and the writing sucks

Okay so yall hae heard about the boyfriends webtoon comic, and imma talk about why i personally dislike it

(DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO HATE TO THIS WEBCOMIC OF ITS FANS, IF YOU LIKE IT , THAT VALID, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, THATS ALSO VALID)

okay so the first main reason to why i dont like this webcomic is that, its well... icky,, niot exactly cringe (i mean yeah it is a little bit "cringe" but i think it just aged poorly, with it being made in early 2020) , but just, a little gross to me. Like the whole thing where the character nerd acts innocent but is actually a pervert, also the fact that hes 19 with the others are like, 20 and older, idk man just feels kind gross. also the fact that the charater goth keeps getting s3xualized even though hes asexual, with things like suggestive scenes to an actual fucking nsfw comic with him and nerd with, holy shit dude, the creator has stated hes a huge flirt but dosent like the s3x, but like, bro??????thats kinda gross to me to see a asexual character that keeps getting sexualized, and yeah asexual ppl can have the s3x but , it still rubs me the wrong way.

and the second reason i dont like this is because its fucking boring as sin to me. OK , ok , hear me out, webcomic being simply not my cup of tea isnt the only reason i think its mid, i also think the writing could be alot better, let me explain.

So the comic, the very beginning of the comic , it just starts out , literally with prep saying (im gonna be paraphrasing here for comedy but you get the pitcure) "omg im so over being single i want boyfren" and goth being like " haha, im gonna get boyfren befor you with my epic gamer rizz" and the nerd just fucking trips and falls, right infront of them, goth helps him up and they talk and make plans for shit. Now, notice how we get no fucking introduction? i mean, we get character cards for them but i think if you can do basic writing, and a simple, "oh im prep and im goth and we go 2 collage , and prep is singl and pathetic , but incredibly oblivious to goth crushing on him for like fuckn whatever years hes been doing this shit" ,like bro its that fucking simple, without setting up a basic background , we have no clue who these characters are and why we should care about them, we jut know that goth get bitches and prep doesn't(at the beginning of the series).

I also feel like more time should have been spent on the boys individual relationships BEFORE they become a official couple and not after , and to the comics credit, they kind do, but they fail to make me care because , again, no character introductions except for those character cards, witch don't really do much for the reader expect give us there name, age, and majors, witch also could have been told to us, along with more infromation about the character like, basic backstory and scene with a simple character introduction at the beginning.

Another problem within this problem is the characters themselves, you see, my problem is that they're stereotypes, witch, isn't bad, as long as its done well. But the creator doesn't do anything really interesting with them, no subversions of expectations , hell, its hard to even call them true to their original stereotypes, yeah prep is enough like a prep and sure i guess jock is enough like a jock, but goth isnt really even,, goth like, i mean character design wise, (im not a big fan of the gothy character stereotype where their just , edgey and shit) , i mean , if you go on Pinterest and type in "gothic aesthetic" you'd get somthing alot more like fancy suits and dresses and abandoned churches, not my immortal draco malfoy.(im sorry ill never make that joke ever again) . also the fact the nerd isnt even that much of a nerd, where the epic gamer shit, where the dnd handbooks, where the info dumping about your favorite obscure pieces of media? the most nerd shit that hes into is problem k-pop, or animal crossing, which, honestly to me, isnt really nerdy , . fucking hell, i mean jock isnt even a fucking himbo, like THE DUMB JOCK STERYOTYPE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE THATS SUCH A MISSED OPPERTUNITY. So for me, either go big or go home

haha so yeah, thats why i dont like this webcomic, and my criticisms, if you agree with me, thats fine, if you dont agree with me and just want your silly brainrot pastel gays, thats also fine, i dont realy care if you like the webcomic or not.

But if you wish the boyfriends webcomic did something more interesting and cool with theyre characters and wish for a more "dramatic" story, with cool character designs and interesting and dynamics and also was made by someone who shouldn't really be making romance media and is not qualified to do this because they are aro ace but is really into shipping culture, well i do have an idea for a remake of it with all the things listed above, i might make a askblog for it teehee,

well thanks for reading and wasting your fuckn time on this earth