#im very obsessed with his character in the original cartoons as well and need more of that gragghhh

[vincepti0n]

no way... brak...

i love him so much, i cant believe they nerfed his intelligence to a fucking 0. im so evil about this...

[ghostsandmirrors]

MASTER WISHLIST

this is far longer than expected.

they are organised by muse, but I'm not organising them as like canons, then originals. they're just all in this together.

The Menagerie do you have a smug shithead muse? we have a zoo! pick one or two or three to bully your muse with. they're all a pain in the ass. (the menagerie are the animals. they're all canons from different sources.)

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Bucky Bucky and general DC heroes (MCU/DC crossover) (I started writing half my muses on MCU/DC crossover forum sites, including Bucky! I'm throwing him back into his roots)

Batman I just think Bucky meeting Batman would be very funny, especially in a professional setting and especially if canon divergent post-Endgame. Bucky having war flashbacks to being chased through Bucharest by a man dressed as a cat because 'so many superheroes are furries.'

Wonder Woman Bucky and Diana based on that one fan plot where Diana was involved, in some way, with fighting during WWII and they met back then and then meet again in the modern day. bonus points if Diana thinks he's his own grandson and he doesn't correct her.

Superman idk Bucky and Superman would just be kinda wholesome? also if Superman mun comfortable, Bucky would totally have a crush on Superman. you can't convince me otherwise. also Clark and Bucky as a ship would be 'pure of heart, dumb of ass' in that order and it makes me giggle.

Other any of the Batfam would also be fun but there's every chance they get unofficially adopted. new dad! new dad! new dad!

I don't know that many DC heroes. girl help. who else is there? idk but I want them!

Bucky + ship partner post-mission shit. anything. just them being like 'thank FUCK that's over with'. snuggling. idgaf.

Bucky + Steve, Bucky + Sam pure of heart, dumb of ass. this is a never-ending want. it's not a specific want, either. I just like putting them in threads together.

Bucky + Thor I don't know why but I've always wanted to and never gotten the chance to.

Bucky/Loki 🥺👉👈 Listen...

Bucky + Spider-Muses I once joked about Bucky adopting various Spider-characters and I still want it. Bucky is the ancient, morally ambiguous MCU Batman on this blog, in that he will not stop fucking adopting people, but at least Bruce usually adopts children. Bucky'll adopt a 30 year old. they're still 70 years younger than him so they're fair game.

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Joker Joker + Batman <3 Joker is obsessed with Batman. ofc I want to thread them. I want every possible thread in any verse that's most comfortable. Joker is my comfort villain.

Joker + Batman characters in general (focused on villains/rogues gallery) I have no specifics, I just realised he talks to the Rogues Gallery a lot in comics/cartoons and my Joker… hasn't. ever. I can fix that.

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Dylan Dylan and Heroes (any DC) I also want Dylan and Gotham heroes, Gordon, etc.. Dylan needs more screentime 'cause her ass is overshadowed by the fuckin owl at this point. lbr who isn't.

Dylan and Heroes (any MCU) also Dylan plus marvel heroes since she has an MCU verse. do I have icons? fuck no. am I asking for Dylan threads regardless? fuck yes.

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Jameson Jameson and Heroes (any) Mortitaint is a masked murderer. that's it. that's the pitch. you want your muse hit with a shovel? I can help with that! also if any men want a boyfriend who is sweaty and dirty every day and surprisingly strong……………. im just saying……………… and then they can one day find out the other is a hero/villain……………………….. drama. 👀 (this includes anti-heroes)

Jameson and Villains (any) I just think it'd be interesting, y'know? Jameson doesn't tend to play well with others, in general, but there's a chance it doesn't go horribly wrong!

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Wag Wag and X-Men Characters Wagner Himura is an X-Men oc that, in his entire time on my blog, has never threaded with an X-Men character. it can be any character and any verse. I don't care. I just want him to speak to other mutants, man.

Logan specifically, I would like Wag and Logan threads. I always picture Wag as a general pest when he starts working at the school, like throwing water balloons filled with speed potions at people that annoy him kind of pest, and I get the feeling Logan would either hate his guts, like him because he does not discriminate between students and teachers, or be very cautious because he doesn't know Wag's limits while Wag's just like 'hey ;D I don't actually find you attractive but if flirting means I don't get stabbed, I'll flirt. ;D I'm high as a fuckin kite rn lmao ;D'

Charles Xavier Wag and Charles would also be funny because of the aforementioned 'high as a kite'.

Brotherhood any brotherhood muse in his brotherhood verse would be nice, too. Idk how he got into the brotherhood in that verse and I want to explore it. I just miss writing Wag, lbr.

OCs tbh any OC. let's yeet our x-men OCs together and see what bad ideas they come out with. it'll be funny. I'm willing to make up places that they can go through a portal to, as well.

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Bam and X-Men Characters Bam has an X-Men verse in which he vibrates particles when angry and I just… I miss Bam being chaotic. I miss Bam being a mess. she's gotten too collected and I want disaster Bam back. I don't have specific preferences for this one.

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Wag and Bam Basically, both Wag and Bam (in his X-Men verse) have abilities that can/are activated by emotions. With Wag, he has more control over his abilities and thus the chances of anger doing anything is low but not zero. If his anger is doing anything, it's a silent, 'scorched Earth' kind of anger that mostly shows in things moving telekinetically. With Bam, his power is exclusively activated by anger.

I just want that in a(nother, in Bam's case) thread or plot. It'd be fun.

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Mattie and Avengers/SHIELD/HYDRA Mattie worked for both SHIELD and HYDRA so I would like to establish some kind of relations with SHIELD and HYDRA muses, but she also sent records to the Avengers after the fall of HYDRA and began torturing/murdering HYDRA agents who survived The Snap so like……….. 👀

also Avengers meeting her after The Blip or whatever dumb bitch shit The Snap 2: Electric Boogaloo is canonically called would be… like she a gremlin in the swamplands. she's a whole fuckin cryptid by that point. I want her ex-coworkers to meet the cryptid she's become and be like, '... ayo? you good?' and her to be knee-deep in swamp water, dragging a body, like, '... yup!'

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Arnulf Arnulf and Steve's Friends arnulf needs to meet non-Steve avengers (or others who know him). it would be funny. 'hey you kinda look like Steve Rogers..' '[subtle german accent] a lot of people say that! it's so strange. I don't see it.'

Past - HYDRA threads between like 2012-2014 would be interesting? idk. I feel like I've forgotten how to write serious threads.

---

Ultron + MCU? I'm sure i've mentioned this before but I just really want Ultron to reunite with the avengers through like idk texts? e-mails? something technology based so the urge to blow his ass up is reduced.

this is not limited to just the avengers. you have an MCU hero muse? a child of a canon? I'll take 'em. give me any muse who may know Ultron or his reputation.

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Dick + Heroes (MCU) LET HIM BITCH AT AN AVENGER ABOUT THAT ALIEN THAT GOT THROWN THROUGH THE WINDOW OF HIS WORK. he deserves this.

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Ai and Tony Stark I always imagine that they know each other due to being rich and fundraisers and shit like that. Ai might be an assassin but she gives to charity and does all the Very Good Things she's meant to which means attending Stark fundraisers and drinking his booze x

they do not have to like each other. I don't think Ai has met a single person she likes since she killed her husband, I'll be honest.

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Villains generally I do want more villain threads where my villain muses are being villains and doing villainous things. like, I have Joker and Ultron who deserve some attention but also Jameson, Ai, Mattie, Jesse, I have a verse where Bam's a villain (he's doing it for the vibes. that'd hold up in court /s), I have the brotherhood verse with Wag… like… plz. I want my muses to go apeshit.

---

Fandomless OCs (Liaxee, the Bringer, Lieat) also I would like to do more with supernatural/fantasy/generally fandomless OCs and Liaxee or the Bringer or Lieat. Liaxee is a joy to write, the Bringer is my dumb bitch, and Lieat's the cutest muse I have. I love them all, your honour.

I think Supernatural (the show) muses and any of these three would be fun, too. especially Lieat, because idk if there's anything like them in the Supernatural universe?

I know I have two doctor who blogs following me so I'm lumping them in with supernatural/fantasy/fandomless oc/Superrnatural (the show). yous wanna meet a void creature?

---

Special Requests have you ever seen a Crazy Quilt RPer? he's my favourite Batman villain. please. (this is mostly a joke but if there actually is a Crazy Quilt RPer, I want to know.)

Egghead is another DC special request because I love Batman villains.

also Typeface and Spellcheck. Idk them that well, but I want to and I have Spider-Man.

[mel-street]

 SPOILERS AHEAD 

okay i dont want to do homework and i just finished episode 6 of tbobf and i have MANY MANY thoughts so imma go on a ramble here

spoilers underneath so be warned :)

- first off COBB VANTH, definitely wasnt expecting to see him again so that was pretty cool, he’s not my favorite but seeing him again was cool

- okay LUKE? AND GROGU? AND AHSOKA? AND MANDO? I AM LITERALLY UNWELL. i cried so hard, im crying now, this seriously isnt something i ever thought i’d see outside of headcannons and fanart on the internet. the 7 year old who decided to watch the weird sci fi movies my dad was so obsessed with is literally SHAKING right now. this was literally my spiderman no way home as a star wars fan

- we need a whole sub section to talk about ahsoka so here we go

if you know me you know i have an INSANE ahsoka obsession. we all know that she’s my favorite star wars character in existance, i’ve read her novel and watched every episode of clone wars and rebels that she’s in as well as her mando episode multiple times.

i know the star wars fandom in there infinite ability to hate star wars has issues with live action ahsoka and ngl it took a while to get used to in the mandolorian, but its definitely grown on me now and i generally dont think there’s anything wrong with rosario’s portrayal. people need to remember that its been YEARS since clone wars ahsoka, she’s no longer the snippy 14 year old girl we all grew up with, she’s aged now. we see this in rebels (another reason for people to go see rebels) and we also see her in the very last episode of rebels, she doesnt talk outside of one line but we see that she’s grown and that she’s changed. people complaining about how ahsoka is “boring” now is just stupid because all she did was grow up and they need to accept it.

and yeah i get how seeing cartoon characters in live action is weird because obviously its not going to be the same as the original but i think what we have is the best its going to get and its pretty good for bringing a character from a different medium to life 

on a side note, see rosario play ahsoka after seeing her as claire in daredevil was WEIRD 

okay now we’re transitioning to CAD BANE

- literally the part of the episode that made me gasp. he looks SO GOOD in life action and anyone complaining is just plain BLIND (once again, this man is GROWN, he was already grown in clone wars and its been literal YEARS, ofc he’s old and faded)

i was literally so scared for cobb in that scene (also i definitely dont think he’s dead) and hearing his voice again gave me CHILLS 

yeah i have a lot more thoughts i just have homework, but that was hands down my favorite star wars episode of all time of all the shows (not counting clone wars and rebels obviously) it was just like *star wars* at its core

also BRING BOBA BACK IN HIS OWN SHOW, i love all the cameos and shit we’re getting but why would they name the show the book of boba fett when he’s not even in like 1/3 of the episodes of his own show? i feel like its just a segway into mando season 3 and although thats great, it feels kind of unfair to boba’s character and temuera 

[lollytea]

What are your opinions about Jungle cubs? I loved that show as a kid!

hi hello!! thank u for humoring me!! i love getting asks about the stuff im currently obsessed with that nobody really cares about, it makes me feel valid! also i dont have well constructed opinions, i just have a very messy, manic head so i just babble all my thoughts. for that i am sorry 

im not gonna say jungle cubs is the best damn cartoon to hit the tv and maybe its just my own biased love speaking when i call it a good show but it means a lot to me personally. it brought me comfort as a little kid, i came back to it as a teen when i was feeling very alone and came back to it again as an adult just cuz of my recent love of baloo and talespin and needing something to keep me upbeat during the quarantine. 

and ive watched quite a few cartoons i loved as a kid that i dont really vibe with anymore. i tried rewatching gummi bears. its not my thing. but jungle cubs is?? really good?? its just so charming to watch. i love the expressive animation, i love the smooth flowing dialogue, i love the playful and naive tone it has of just a bunch of kids being kids, i love the depiction of these characters, i love the performance of the voice actors, i love the layers it adds to the original film. layers that were never intended to be in there in the first place but isnt that just the beauty of interpretation and ones own imagination. 

its such a formulaic concept isnt it. to take a classic show/movie and make its protagonists babies for a spinoff. but i dunno, i always got the feeling that whoever was the backbone of this story actually cared about the characters they were writing and took a sincere approach to it. 

they thought in-depth about how to devolve them from their current personalities in a realistic way and what aspects of themselves are so core to their being that they would have been ingrained since childhood. the cubs feel pretty three-dimensional and considering theyre cash grab spinoff babies, that is an amazing feat.

but also, i love it for the very very very simple reason of its really adorable. bagheera especially. to see such a stoic and levelheaded character in his earliest stage as a child just Hits for me. cub bagheera is clever, hes cautious, hes a little stuck-up, all traits he has in the movie. hes also not the best hunter, doesnt know how to roar yet, is a little cowardly, sorta awkward at times and is often trying to prove that hes the best even though hes aware that he is nowhere near the best.

like its easy to believe the kind of person he grows up to be but at the same time, its really interesting to see the more childish aspects of himself that he eventually matured past. and hes adorable dude! baby bagheera voiced by EG Daily is the sweetest goddamn thing, i love him so much 

also shere khan who is a fuckin doozy. hes very interesting in this too. everything about his attitude is reminiscent of a preteen who says mean things to you on voice chat while playing overwatch but if you tell him you’re gonna call the police on him, he starts panicking. thats shere khan’s vibe, a real edgy little tiger who thinks hes hot shit cuz he probably caught something bigger than a mouse like one time and its gone to his head. 

hes constantly stalking around, subtly bragging about what a natural predator he is. but at the same time, he’s still around?? hes still hanging around with the other cubs cuz hes ALSO a cub and likes to play around with other kids his age. and he fucking loves his friends. the amount of times he’s scared off bigger animals who were about to harm them. and its really sweet cuz they like him too. while his attitude is definitely annoying sometimes, they still consider him their friend and enjoy his company. its just wholesome. 

plus hes also pretty vulnerable as hes a cub. he doesnt stand a chance when they come across a grown animal as a threat. he gets scared just like the rest of them, hes just so arrogant that he never admits it. 

in fact the appeal of the show in general to me, is the vulnerabilities of all the characters that comes with being in their most immature state. they dont know any better when it comes to stuff. this show is real dumbass hours 

EVERYTHING about baloo is just great. he does not change even slightly. he is exactly the same except hes little and his voice hasnt broke yet. his child voice is amazingly fitting also.

i mean i guess one thing that differentiates him is adult baloo had some semblance of a philosophy. he was wise....in a way. baby baloo does not know shit about shit. he does not think. he just vibes, okay?? i love him mwah

i dont have much to say about the others but i DO like this interpretation of them more than their adult selves. it also just feels bittersweet that they grew up to be such dicks. Haithi is lovely, i love that hes just out here TRYING to be a colonel but he lacks the authority that comes with being a grown elephant and he doesnt have the self confidence to command anybody yet. he is simply babey.

 louie is a very cute little dude, i love him and baloo as just an idiot squad. he also has a very good voice

kaa.....i dont trust. on one hand, hes very sweet as a child but on the OTHER HAND he grows up to be the creepiest fucking creation disney has ever put in a movie so that snake will always rub me the wrong way even when im trying to like him. 

also ONE THING thats driving me crazy about this show is like. it has the best depiction of pre-adolescent boys that i have ever seen in a cartoon ever. just the way they behave. theyre sweethearts one minute, extremely mean the next minute, going from building eachother up to lightly bullying eachother, lots of unprovoked play fighting, laughing over dumb shit, rude to strangers for no goddamn reason, theres just a lot. 

it fuckin knocked me back like 15 years cuz it reminded me so much of kids i used to play with. and these arent even human children whose brain development is documented, these are animals, this show had no business being this spot-on.

i dont like season 2. it has a few gems here and there that i get a kick out of. but as a whole, its really disappointing. since the show swapped production companies, they seemed to uproot it completely and start from scratch. and its kinda sad cuz i think they were TRYING to do something poignant when it came to a future narrative but it just didnt land. firstly there was a huge animation downgrade and looking at the two season in comparison is kinda depressing. 

also they redesigned the characters, some looked worse than others. baloo looked fine but i still preferred his og look. bagheera....was the worst. rip bagheera. 

they all underwent a huge personality change. and not in the way that showed subtle maturity, i mean a vapid exaggeration of their original personality. the only characters who were left relatively alone in this regard were baloo and kaa. and i dont mind gradually changing a character since there IS an adult version of them that they should be growing into. but the season 2 depictions are literally the furthest things from their adult selves that its unbelievable.

 another pet peeve is they changed a few of the voice actors and.....i love these season 2 voice actors in other work theyve done. dee bradley baker and cree summer specifically who are both very talented people. but they did not fit these roles in the slightest. (not to mention having cree summer play an APE and suddenly having her do a LOT of monkey noises that the previous va never had to do. im not gonna get into all that BUT hmm.) and if youre gonna recast the characters to make them sound “older” as least make them sound somewhat similar to the jungle book actors, so you can picture them eventually growing into those voices. 

also the tone shifted so much between seasons. the way they tried to make this jungle more of a “society” with shit like talent shows and sports games and celebrities and like fuckin. STOP. theyre animals. just let them be animals. along with that the writing just feels really off and its just. not fun. i dont like it 

and as i mentioned, they WERE trying to do something here. the fact that the cubs didnt hang out with eachother as much and were starting to drift apart is kinda sad and wouldve liked it see it handled a little better. but instead i got season 2, which was stupid. and im 21 and im petty. 

anyway i am very sorry that ended so negatively and im very sorry that rant was completely all over the place i have no sense of proper organization i just wanted to gush about what i love. but on a positive note i love jungle cubs!! its very dear to my heart and makes me very happy and i wish it had gotten more episodes

[protectwoc]

Some discussion topics after the amazing essay you wrote: Why is everyone so obsessed with trying to make Uma fit the "She Needs No Man, Independent Black Woman" caricature. Or: Is it not shady to anyone else why Carlos all of a sudden has straight hair for the next 2 movies (some are up in arms over Evie losing her curls) - is Disney trying to erase the obvious blackness in Carlos (supposed Latina-ness in Evie). Or: The total destruction of HarryxUma as a ship that seemed destined from D2.

Okay first of all, thank you so much for calling my brain vomit “amazing”, that means so much to me! Second of all, you posed some really great questions which is why it took me so long to answer this ask because I wanted to give an actual well-thought out answer.

1.  Short answer: racism. Long answer: because as per usual, fandom is obsessed with the “strong black woman” trope and refuses to let a black woman, especially a dark-skinned black woman, have the same passionate, “i’ll do anything for you” love that seems reserved for white characters. It definitely doesn’t help that Thomas and Dove are dating though, because that (combined with Dove’s unnecessary input) contribute to making Harry, who seems like the most obvious candidate for Uma’s love interest, look like a viable love interest for Mal, which canonically, he is not. I have more thoughts on this, but we’ll get to that. Also working against most most Uma shippers is the fact that the narrative actually goes out of its way to support the “don’t need no man” trope for Uma (see: failed Huma kiss, which I will never stop being mad about).

2. Honestly, until your question, I had never even thought about it. To be fair, some of the other characters (most notably Mal, also Jane) went through dramatic hair/wardrobe changes from D1 to D2. It also seems to me that they could have been trying to make him look more like the cartoon version of his mother, who had straight hair, but of course they racebent Cruella for the movie to keep Cameron Boyce’s (may his memory be a blessing) ethnicity through the movie, so that doesn’t make sense. I suppose that they could be trying to downplay his black ancestry within the movie, although I don’t know if the same could be said for Evie since, to my knowledge, Latinas don’t have definitively straight or curly hair, unlike black people. I do agree that it is strange, but I can’t say for sure that it has a racist connotation. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts though, anon, or anyone else’s if they want to chip in.

3. Okay, so Huma. Brace yourselves, this is about to get long. I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m not (primarily, at least) a Huma shipper. I don’t have anything against them or anything, and of course I support them, I just have other ships for Uma that take precedence in my head usually. With that said, I feel like that allows me to look at the ship’s trajectory more objectively, and I basically feel like all the shippers are right to be upset- you guys were totally robbed.

Because Huma was definitely hinted at/implied in D2, I don’t think anyone could argue that it wasn’t. But I have to disagree with you that Huma seemed “destined” from D2. I personally always believed that while Huma was implied in D2, that was where it would stay: an implication. I didn’t have any thoughts that Huma would be confirmed in D3, not because they weren’t a viable ship, they definitely are, but because they didn’t hit any of the beats that a traditional Disney romance does. 

Like, DCOM romances are very heavily telegraphed in a clumsy, kid friendly way. Remember every interaction Bal had in D1? The long staredown upon first meeting? “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me”? (or whatever he said, I can’t be bothered to look up the scene right now.) Every time Ben looked her up and down and Mal made that grumpy, not-into-it-but-im-obviously-into-it face? The entire scene by her locker where she tricks him into eating the love spell? And then they’re dating by their next scene and they stay there until D2. Just from a practical, we’re watching a DCOM not a Freeform original, standpoint Huma never had any of those very conspicuous “THEY’RE GONNA GET TOGETHER” moments.

That’s not to say, of course, that Huma didn’t have moments. They definitely did, basically any time they shared the screen. But I would argue that the kind of passion, devotion, and maturity that they showed was simply too much for a DCOM. If Descendants was a Freeform or Netflix original (which it totally should have been, but whatever, that’s a topic for another time) Huma would have been confirmed canon. But it’s not, so I expected them to have a few, similar moments in D3 but go completely unacknowledged.

But then.

Oh, but then.

BUT THEN THE WRITERS WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO ACKNOWLEDGE HUMA AND TO DESTROY IT. They made a point of contorting Harry’s established character trait of being an insufferable flirt WHEN IT CONCERNS UMA ONLY and decided to apply that to EVERY GIRL HE CAME INTO CONTACT WITH. And then, to add insult to injury, at the last possible moment, after he’s finally flirted with every named female character on Auradon, he finally turns to Uma- only to get hit upside the head with a flying “don’t need no man” trope.

THIS is what frustrates me about the Descendants writers. This was my major problem with Mal in “The Problem with Mal”, not just that it was bad writing, but that EVERYONE INVOLVED knew what they were doing and did it anyway. 

[bigskydreaming]

Whats Nightwing and Deathstroke's dynamic? Why does it make you wince? Im not very familiar with it.

Nightwing and Slade actually have a really interesting and compelling dynamic in a lot of ways, that can be really good when written well and really terrible when not. My biggest issue is it is that its not sexual in the comics (Slade is a good thirty years older than him) or in other adaptations that have a version of it, like the Teen Titans cartoon. But fandom being fandom, Dick/Slade is a bigger ship than like, half his actual canon ships, so any new take on it always comes with a big sigh at all the new Dick/Slade shipping that’s gonna crop up or have a resurgence cuz of it. And I’m annoyed enough with YJ right now that I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do anything new or interesting with it that’s worth having to wade through pages of new Dick/Slade noncon in the months afterwards. Its a ship that generates a lot of non-con fic in particular, or at least my old favorite, ‘dubcon’, with the dubious part of the consent referring to the fact that it usually involves mind control or brainwashing, both tropes that show up a lot in their interactions anyway. (Not that there’s anything dubious about this NOT allowing for consensual anything, just that people love to call it dubcon because….fuck if I know).

But anyway….in the comics, Deathstroke is a mercenary who’s one of the Titans’ earliest and most iconic enemies. Though at various times and depending on who’s writing him, he’s sometimes an antihero and even a semi-trusted ally of the Titans (usually with Dick specifically), other times a villain but with his own personal code of honor that means he won’t help the Titans or other heroes but he’ll refuse to take jobs that would pit him against them, and other times he’s full on remorseless and sadistic villain who hates them all and wants them all dead.

He also had three kids, his son Grant (the first Ravager), his younger son Joseph (Jericho) and his youngest, their half-sister Rose (the second Ravager). Basically, the first time he interacted with the Titans was when the supervillain group HIVE put out a contract to have the Titans all killed. Slade turned them down cuz of his personal honor code and how young the Titans were, but his son Grant accepted the contract in exchange for HIVE giving him superpowers to help him fulfill it. The process didn’t work right though, and when fighting the Titans, Grant’s powers overloaded and killed him.

Slade blamed the Titans for this, and vowed to finish the contract and kill them as some twisted way of honoring Grant. He doesn’t do Logic so good, well no, its more like he doesn’t really do parenting so good, as in he tends to have fuck all to do with his kids 364 days of the year, but then something bad happens to one of them and suddenly he thinks he’s Dad of the Year and going 0 to Homicidal in six seconds flat is the way to make up for all the times he’s let them down or screwed them over, instead of just…not Doing That.

So Slade recruited a young meta named Tara Markov (yup, that one) and trained her as his apprentice specifically to help him get revenge on the Titans. At his prompting, she joined the Titans as a spy for him, feeding him intel and plotting against them in one of the best known comicbook storylines of all time, The Judas Contract. It was up there with some of the X-Men’s best known stories like the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. (In the 80s actually, the Titans comic book was almost as popular as Uncanny X-Men at the time. Like way more than the Justice League. They were DC’s big hitters, popularity wise - specifically the lineup that for the most part was centered around Dick, Donna, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven, with other members like the original Titans and later ones like Pantha and Wildebeest coming and going at various points in the 80s too).

Ultimately, Tara made her move and betrayed the Titans, enabling Slade to kidnap each of them one by one and turn them over to the HIVE….all except for Dick. In the meanwhile, he was approached by Slade’s ex-wife Adeline Kane - who has an equally all over the place dynamic with Slade, like sometimes she’s his worst enemy and other times she’s manipulating events behind the scenes to help him without him knowing, because she still loves him…it basically just depends on who’s writing her, same as with Slade. Also, Kane is Adeline’s maiden name, she’s distantly related to Kate Kane aka Batwoman in some extremely complicated manner I can never remember, but that’s mostly just trivia. I can’t remember a time its ever been relevant to a story, and it has nothing to do with Slade’s interactions with Dick.

ANYWAY. Point being, so Adeline, who blames and hates Slade at this time for their son Grant’s death, along with their other son Joey, seek out Dick and offer their help rescuing the Titans and defeating Slade. Joey is a metahuman as a result of Slade’s altered DNA (he has regenerative powers and is actually immortal, due to experiments the army did on him while he was a soldier). So Joey was born with powers although they didn’t activate until he was a young adult. His codename was Jericho and his power lets him possess peoples’ bodies. He’s also mute, and I’m half expecting him to show up in YJ fairly soon. If not this season then hinted at by the end of it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if they had plans to have him be gay in the YJ universe. He’s a character who was coded as gay practically from his debut. Joey/Dick is actually probably Dick’s oldest and most enduring slash ship, for the record.

So Joey works with Dick to rescue the Titans and defeat Slade, who’s captured and goes on trial for kidnapping the Titans. Joey ends up joining the Titans in the aftermath, and Adeline’s yay good, this was my Sekrit Plan all along, I did all this solely in the hopes that you would end up a superhero and have positive influences and not end up a murdering douchebag of flexible morality like your dad cuz fuck that guy, am I right Titans?

Did Adeline really just do all of that because she wanted her son to have more friends? Like…idk honestly it could go either way. Like….it IS the kind of thing she would do, tbh, so its as likely she was telling the truth as it is she just wanted to screw Slade one last time to avenge Grant and then was like hey if I take credit for my kid ending up a Titan now, I could probably play the “you owe me one” card later if I ever need to. Addy does like handing out “you owe me one” cards, just to be safe. Never know when you might need one.

The thing all this has to do with Dick is like, so it basically ended up being Dick versus Slade in the big finale, while Joey was rescuing the others and helping them face off against Tara. And for whatever reason - with multiple takes on this offered by multiple writers in the decades since - something about Dick just stuck with Slade and he’s had a kinda fascination with him ever since. Like he’s always talking about how much more he could teach Dick than what he already learned from Bruce, trying to convince him he’s got a killer instinct that Bruce just suppressed and its holding him back, blah blah, like saying he’s good, but Slade could make him great, so he surpasses both Bruce and Slade. TBH, he spends WAY more time obsessing about Dick and getting Dick to join him than he bothers paying attention to his own kids. 

It really isn’t inherently sexual though, its a weird kinda pseudo father/son, pseudo mentor/mentee type thing. And its not entirely one-sided, because Dick at various times IS…tempted? Kinda? Like whenever Dick’s having some kind of crisis of conscience, or he’s pissed at Bruce or is questioning the effectiveness of superheroes or why they do the things they do or what does it all matter blah blah blah like omg I love you Dick, I really do, but sometimes you are such a drama queen, my god, blast some My Chemical Romance, experiment with drugs and chill out already, its not that deep. (LOL I kid. Well mostly). But point being, every once in awhile something happens that puts Dick in a funk and makes him second guess himself, and he spends like….a month being convinced he should reinvent himself as the anti-Bruce, that’s the solution, and this usually sends him in search of Slade except he’s always like ‘OH FANCY MEETING YOU HERE, THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND NOT ON PURPOSE’. 

And Slade likes to take any opportunity to try and convince him like BE A BAD GUY DICK, KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. Except inevitably Slade does something that pisses Dick off and Dick snaps out of it and is like NO, IM A HERO AND THIS IS BAD, I REMEMBER NOW AND I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU! And then they fight again, but with swords, not words, and then they’re like crap, we’re too well matched, this is going nowhere, you’re a worthy opponent, the only one I can truly respect, blah blah and then they call a breather and Slade’s like hey kid, wanna grab a beer and Dick’s like yeah but only if you promise not to kill anyone. And Slade’s like ugh fine.

And then Slade’s all, look kid, its been fun but its time you went home to your real family and your real life, this isn’t you, you’re a hero, I can’t try and turn you into something you’re not, its Wrong. And Dick’s like….umm yeah, I know, I literally JUST said that, how hard did I hit you? And Slade’s like NO SHHH, DONT TRY AND ARGUE, GO, YOU GO NOW, GO ON, LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU DONT BELONG HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, YOU’RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN KIND.

And Dick’s like no seriously dude, I already called my dad to come pick me up, what are you even on right now, are we having the same conversation?

Slade, sobbing paternally: I HAVE TO LET YOU GO, ALL I EVER DO IS HURT MY KIDS, I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER, ITS NO WONDER JOEY HATES ME.

And then Dick awkwardly slips out while Slade’s mid monologue, with his head thrown back yelling up at the sky and shaking his fists like WHY GOD WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WHY - because the thing about Slade is he’s actually even MORE of a drama queen than Dick, he just hides it better. Most of the time. But seriously tho.

Anyway yeah, this is like…a pattern with them basically. And Slade’s like, you’ve inspired me, I see in you the man I could’ve become, maybe even that I can still be, and he like doubles down on his personal honor code and becomes a Mercenary With A Heart for a couple years and even helps out the Titans every now and then (basically just whenever Dick’s in trouble and he goes on a killing spree, like NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO MURDER MY KIDS BUT ME - also by this point in time, Joey had died because Slade literally killed him, I forget why, it was a dumb story, but its okay Joey came back, its not like his name is Uncle Ben. But yeah, killing his kids is kinda a thing with Slade too, and he’s very proprietary about it).

And then he falls off the wagon and is like fuck, I forgot how much I like murder, ugh, you should have never tried to make me change, THIS IS WHO I AM, and Dick’s just like….I literally do not know where you’re getting these conversations from, like am I there when you think we’re having them, am I just blacking out…do I need to see a doctor??? And Slade’s like YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, GRAYSON, FROM NOW ON I AM THE TITANS’ MORTAL ENEMY and runs off all dramatically while Dick’s like…..wut, and all the other Titans are like srsly, dude, what is WITH you too, and Dick’s all I DON’T EVEN KNOW, HE’S JUST LIKE THAT.

In all seriousness though, ultimately my take on their dynamic is that for Slade, Dick’s a combination of seeing himself and Grant in Bruce and Dick’s dynamic, and its like….all about his regret and missed opportunities. Like, he tends to be super judgey of Bruce and critical of how he trains (and raises Dick) and passive aggressively like *I* would never do that and Dick just kinda lifts an eyebrow and is all, you’ve literally killed two of your three kids. 

But like, Slade kinda views himself as the anti-Batman and thus Dick is inadvertently cast as Grant, but its like Slade can never decide if he thinks Bruce is actually holding Dick back from his full potential and he wants to push Dick the way he thinks Bruce refuses to, or if like, he blames Bruce for getting Dick involved in this life, the same life that got Grant killed, and wants to protect Dick from Bruce and from the same thing happening to him. So its this weird mix of Slade manipulating Dick sometimes and pushing him way further than even Bruce ever does and saying its for his own good, but also randomly mixed in there are these bouts of extreme protectiveness, and there’s like zero rhyme or reason to which he is on any given day and there’s never any way to predict where Slade will land and so it always fucks with Dick’s head in a big way, he’s like…I’m getting whiplash.

And then on Dick’s end, like, the thing about Dick like I’ve mentioned before is he’s a huge people pleaser? Like he’s a very empathetic caretaker type personality who sinks a huge amount of his identity into being everything for everyone, to the extent that he tends to lose sight of himself in the process, sometimes. And he’s also a perfectionist who was raised with the most demanding father of all demanding fathers ever, and has a lot of abandonment issues and insecurities that Bruce’s mutant power is to trip over and set off in the worst possible ways.

And so I think the reason Dick keeps seeking Slade out every now and then is not because he ACTUALLY wants to ever take Slade up on his offer and genuinely become his apprentice or partner and like, turn his back on how he was raised. I think the point of it for Dick is the fact that each and every time he ends up affirming for himself no, wait, this ISN’T actually what I want, I just needed to be reminded of that, to remember that. That he always pulls himself back before going too far. And at the same time, I do think on some level he likes that Slade is this kinda constant in his life, that at the end of the day Slade is like…so fixated on his potential and his achievements and his worth as a fighter and a hero, because like….Dick Grayson is a person who craves validation but will never ask for it ever. 

And he’s one of those people who everyone is just so USED to liking without even thinking about it that it never occurs to them when talking amongst themselves about how great he is, that they forget to say this to his actual face? And so he never hears it? And never asks for it, because gasp, then people might think he’s needy, and that would be bad, so he mostly just goes and sulks in his apartment about how nobody likes him and he’s terribad. Except for Slade. Slade always compliments him on what a good fighter and what a good planner and what a good leader he is, so hmm wonder what he’s doing. He hasn’t committed any crimes in six months and I can’t find any reason to track him down and bring him in? Ugh, that asshole. Okay, ummm, I guess I could tell him I’m thinking of turning evil again, I haven’t done that in a couple years, he’d probably buy it.

And then later Bruce is pacing around the Batcave wrathfully shaking his fist, like “Damn that man and his sick hold over my son, if only I knew how he keeps getting his hooks into you!”

And Dick basically shrugs and plays games on his phone. “He mostly just tells me I’m special, and that’s nice to hear.”

Bruce, still pacing and ranting and fist shaking: “What kind of evil genius is he, how master a manipulator he must be to be able to get inside your head and upend your normal views of right and wrong, to make you entertain these ideas of working with him, learning from him…”

Dick: No its seriously just the saying nice things about me bit. I like that.

Bruce: If only I had a code word or phrase I could use to snap you out of whatever brainwashing he seems to be able to affect you with any time you come near him, perhaps some kind of alien tech….

Dick: You could try “I’m proud of you, son.” I mean if you’re taking suggestions.

Bruce: There’s also the possibility of a magical component to consider, blast, I hate working with magic so of course he WOULD do something like that, ugh I suppose I could ask Zatanna or Jason Blood for help there…

Dick: Cool cool, well this has been a fun and productive chat as always, so you keep doing…all that…and meanwhile I’m gonna go ponder my fixation on father figures who are 100% more committed to obsessing over their failures as a parent than like…actual parenting of their actual kids.

Bruce, ten minutes later: Dick? Where are you? DID SLADE GET TO YOU AGAIN? RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE? CURSE THAT MAN AND HIS UNNATURAL SKILLS, HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?

Anyway, that’s Slade and Dick. There’s also the whole Renegade thing, when Dick asked for Slade’s help in infiltrating the Society of Super Villains in his fake villain identity as Renegade, with you know, lots of Slade trying to corrupt him and also trying to murder any supervillains who looked as his not!son the wrong way. 

And then there was the time Slade brought his daughter Rose to Dick to train and said he couldn’t teach her himself because his track record with training his kids and them not ending up dead is like, not good, and he’s superstitious or something? Idk, I forget his logic, it was probably bad though.

And Slade was like, I only trust you to be a competent teacher for my daughter, I want you to teach her everything you know! Except for like, being a hero. None of that nonsense. I FORBID you from trying to make my daughter into a hero or the deal is off. (The deal being that if Dick did this, Slade would not do crime in Dick’s city for a year).

And Dick was like, you got a deal. I will train Rose but there will be NO trying to make her a hero, I swear. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And Slade was like okay, fine, you got a deal, I will absolutely still do crime and be villainous but only in every place except for Bludhaven specifically. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And then Dick tried to make Rose a hero and then Slade blew up Bludhaven and that was definitely a thing, so…yeah.

In summation, Slade and Dick are weird but also very interesting but also if we get another rehash of the Renegade/apprentice arc aka the Teen Titans cartoon adaptation of that story aka the single most popular Dick Grayson fic trope of all time, like….I swear I will probably get a brain bleed.

[buzzfeedwheeze]

The New Teacher - Shyan fanfic

Ugh

Sorry it took me so long to post the new chapter. I didn't know what to do with the fic (I blame the new Star Wars movie and the WiFi at my beach house), but I think I found my way again!

Hope you enjoy.

You can find it at AO3

Two months passed really fast and Shane got into a new routine. One that he actually enjoyed. Apart from having to give his son up two weeks a month, he was actually quite content. He would wake up earlier than what he used to, just so that he could have breakfast with his kid, generally milk and cereal because it was the fastest option and they were both lazy suckers. Then Shane would drop Andrew at school, go to work, banter with Ryan Bergara on Twitter and sometimes prepare a nice meal for Andrew and his boyfriend Steven. Yeah, somehow the new teacher became a part of his life, whether it was a conscious or unconscious decision of his. Usually at the lunch break he would find himself engaging of multiple discussions with Bergara about aliens, ghosts, movies and one time they even had a passionate debate about popcorn.

After one week of smiling like a teen after he received a new notification of @ryansbergara, he was forced to admit that there was more than simply bantering going on. Their fights didn’t feel real, or maybe they never were. When he took Andrew to school or went to pick him up he would wait to see Bergara arrive and then would tease him on twitter about how he looked ridiculous with his weird love for yellow clothes, especially one vest that he wore a lot. Ryan would always reply with a “stalker :)” and Shane would grin from ear to ear.

Now, he found it kind of hard to look at the man, that being the reason why he adopted the method of avoiding at all costs to get out the car near school grounds. Andrew reacted to this novelty with curiosity at first but now all he did was smirk when he got to the car, always making sure to mention the damn teacher. But although he wanted to avoid Bergara he couldn’t help but show up at the exact time he knew the teacher was about to arrive at school. He didn’t want to confront his feelings, but hey, he could still appreciate a nice body, with a great face, fantastic humor, amazing knowledge, sweet eyes... Ryan Bergara was the closest thing, for Shane, to proof of the existence of supernatural beings. Of course, he had flaws, Shane knew there was no such thing as perfection, but that man was pretty damn close to it.

But today was saturday.

Meaning no Bergara and no need to confront what was going on between them. The only thing planned for the day was a draft of a new cartoon he had to present for his superior on Monday and a dinner at the new restaurant that opened near his apartment. He was going to take Andrew and Steven and they were going to order enough food to make themselves ashamed on the next day.

A great plan. He had a cocky smile in place as he skimmed through the newspaper.

“Why are you smiling like that?” he looked up to find a very sleepy Andrew exiting his room. “It’s kinda creepy since you’re reading the Sports” the boy then rubbed his eyes.

Shane rolled his eyes. “Keep that attitude young boy and you won’t be having any pancakes today”

Andrew frowned. “You wouldn’t dare…” then his dad wiggled one eyebrow. “YOU WOULD! YOU SICK BASTARD!” Such a drama queen… I taught him so well. Shane smiled fondly as his son threw his hands in the air as he grunted on his way to the kitchen.

Shane got up quickly and took over his position on the stove. Andrew had already set up the table and was now resting his face on his hands as he watched his dad. Shane prepared the dough and after a few minutes, full of flips and a lot of cursing, the pancakes were ready.  Before placing them on the table he turned to Andrew.“Want me to cut them on Disney characters shapes?”

“What is the point of eating pancakes if they are not Disney themed pancakes?” he raised an eyebrow.

Shane had to blink a few times because he wasn’t seeing big grown up Andrew, there, right in front of him, was little Andrew with chubby cheeks and small hands. He quickly turned and focused on the task of cutting the pancakes into various shapes to make Andrew’s new favorite character from ‘Disney’. The sound of nervous fingers tapping on a screen and the rhythmically sound of the knife hitting the board helped Shane concentrate and suppress the treacherous tears. It was hard to get around the idea of Andrew no longer being his little boy. I’m becoming one of those dads.

Soon he placed an almost perfect, considering that it was made with pancake, BB-8 right in front of his son. Andrew gasped and stared at the plate he like used to do when he was a kid. “I was going to do a Kylo Ren. But since you are probably going to post it on Instagram, and I know you are not ready to share your obsession with Kylo, I thought it was better to play it safe. A good ol’ bot for ya.”

Andrew reached over the table and hugged his dad. “You are the best”. He snapped a photo and munched on his BB unit quite happily. Shane just ate his regular stacked pancakes but his heart was so warn that he felt like they were made of pure gold.

They ate in silence and after breakfast Andrew washed the dishes and left to meet Steven and head out to Matt’s place. Some other friends were going to be there as well, their friend Adam, Ashley and a girl called Jen. Apparently they were going to have a Harry Potter marathon and survive out of popcorn the whole day. They were living the dream. Shane tried to tag along and Andrew said that even though he was cool there was no chance he was going since he had a project to begin. Boo hoo adult life sucks.

Shane got all his stuff and found a comfortable spot on their dining table. Put on his ‘Thinking Cap ON” playlist and started to take notes of some ideas he had on the past few days. But as he jotted them down he felt like they weren’t exactly very creative or even original. No one would ever bother to invest on a cartoon like that. So he decided to start by designing the main character. It wasn’t how he normally worked but he had a deadline and he needed to present something to his boss. Anything. He opened his memos and found some notes from the briefing he had had last week about the new cartoon. The notes were kind of confusing but at least he managed to get some of the things his boss wanted.

“Supernatural. Two main characters. Diversity. Funny. Not too scary. A bit of sarcasm.” Shane wanted to throw his phone on the street so a car could smash it. “I’m so fucked right now.”

The hours flew by like minutes and he only had the sketches of the main characters done. He opted for two girls. One was blond with a big nose and thick glasses. He decided that she was going to be a bucket full of sarcasm and bad jokes. The other one was smaller, a mix of Asia and Latin America on her features. He didn’t know what to do with her. He stared at the page in front of him and tried to see what was behind those big beady eyes he drew. Maybe she was going to be more like a sidekick, always scared and hiding. Shane was about to to write that, but something stopped him. That wasn’t right. There was more to those characters and without a plot he couldn’t fully comprehend them. Especially the tiny girl. Shane shut the sketch book and decided to prepare his lunch.

After having lunch, Shane did no progress at all. All he had was two sketched and barely filled profile about the characters. He had longed abandoned the notion of having a plot or even having ideas for one. So until Andrew and Steven called for him to go pick them up, all he did was complain, play Disney Crossy Road and watch old episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine on TV. Their call would be a true blessing. He would finally be free of his responsibility and be able to go out and enjoy his weekend. Or at least his saturday night since he needed the damn project ready.

Then as if by magic his phone screen lit up. Shane turned his attention from the TV to the now vibrating phone. It wasn’t a phone call but a series of text messages from Andrew asking his dad if it was ok to pick them up an hour earlier and that he didn’t want to disturb him now that he was focused on a new project. Shane replied quickly with ‘im already on the car’ and a ‘FREEDOM’ followed by a series of gifs to illustrate his state of mind. He got up, collected the car keys and soon he was driving on his way to Matt’s house.

The traffic wasn’t that bad so he managed to arrive in less than 15 minutes at the fancy neighborhood that Andrew’s friend lived. The house was at the end of Capt. Hugo Vega Street, it was a huge modern mansion that even had some bushes cut in the shape of animals. There was a fucking crab and a flamingo, for fucks sake. Shane pulled over in front of the house and was about to honk when he saw that Andrew was waiting outside. He waved at him and watched as he began to tow Steven by his hand. Andrew sat by his side while Steven took the backseat. Shane watched through the mirror Steven laying down on the seat and chuckled. “So how wa...”

“Dad please drive!” Andrew interrupted him. “If we stay here longer I might have to go inside and kill Matt with my bare hands. Do you want me to go to jail?!” he looked exhausted.

“Let me guess.”

“You wouldn’t be able…”

“Matt’s idea of eating solemnly popcorn was a disaster and you had to deal with a very hungry Steven Lim complaining.” Andrew gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. “I had to travel with you two to a festival when you were little and I know some things don’t change.” with that he drove to the restaurant as fast as he was allowed to.

Steven practically ran inside the place when he smelled the aroma of hot meals being served. They checked their reservation and, thank god, got a great table. Soon a waiter with a fake smile kept on for pure obligation asked for their orders. Eyeing the kids barely keeping it together, staring at the basket of bread as if it was some sort of rare item, Shane picked up the menu and ordered an absurd amount of food. Lots of chicken wings dipped on spicy sauce, french fries with olive oil and herbs, one small pepperoni pizza, medium portion of quesadilla and a basket with a mix of different nacho flavors. It will do. When he finished listing almost all of the items on the menu one very scared, or maybe impressed, waiter left to go deliver his order to the kitchen.

“Food will get here soon, kids, don’t worry.” he looked at them reassuringly.

Steven looked up and his tired expression was replaced by a huge smile, which left Shane feeling pretty smug. He was capable of making those kids feel the joy of life again. Then he noticed Steven poking Andrew on the forehead, which only made the other one glare at him. But it was all he need, pointing at something behind them he whispered something for Andrew. Andrew perked up on his seat and managed a small smile when he saw whatever Steven asked him to look. Shane couldn’t hear what they were saying so he turned to look for whatever got them all so happy. You gotta be fucking kidding me.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Ryan Bergara was there at the hall gesticulating like a maniac while talking with the maître. Shane of course still felt the urge to fight Bergara, but watching the other man arguing with someone, that wasn’t him, made some weird protection instinct kick in. It was almost like it was his duty to protect Ryan Bergara from all evil in the world. I’m so pathetic.

Deciding to ignore the situation was the best option for him, so he turned to look at the boys and noticed that Andrew wasn’t at his place anymore. Steven just shrugged and nodded his head in the direction of the teacher. I raised a snake. Shane thought bitterly as he watched Andrew talking with his teacher at the hall. Bergara was blushing and Andrew looked at him with one of his, perfected through the years, puppy eyes look and Shane rolled his eyes. Surely he was inviting Bergara to sit with them. There was one spare chair and Shane considered throwing it across the room for a second or maybe throwing himself across the room. Lost on his thoughts and still watching the chair squinting his eyes, Shane didn’t notice when Andrew got back to the table with the teacher.

“Hi, Shane… I mean Mr. Madej.” Bergara was blushing and stuttering and all of his previous thoughts of destroying the chair vanished. Boy, he was a handsome man.

“Hi. You can call me Shane Madej.” Stupid mouth. “I mean, Shane. Call me Shane” Shane got up awkwardly, bumping on the table and almost knocking down everything. He shaked Bergara’s extended hand vigorously. Then Shane helped Ryan sit, which obviously made things worse. Internally he was a mess, an eternal replay on his mind of Gordon Ramsay calling him an idiot sandwich.

Steven and Andrew were sat on VIP places to watch the show unroll in front of them. They kept snickering and whispering thing to each other, which left Shane no option but to make small talk with Ryan Fucking Bergara as they waited for the food. When the meal arrived he kicked Andrew on his shins and got the boys to talk with the teacher, who seemed to relax and appreciate better his meal.

After they ordered the dessert and were waiting for it to arrive, Shane noticed Andrew leaning in on Steven’s direction to whisper something then he got up abruptly and announced he was going to the bathroom. But before he left he winked to his dad, and Shane knew this was no teenage hook-up-on-the-bathroom plan. No. It was a masterplan to leave him alone with Begara. And his suspicions were soon confirmed when Steven giving him an apologetic smile left to go to the bathroom too.

When they left Ryan began to laugh which caused Shane to look at him with an arched eyebrow. “What?” he managed between giggles. “It’s just that no matter how many years have passed teenagers will always try the bathroom excuse to go make out.”

“Yeah. The ol’ bathroom excuse to make out��� he said through gritted teeth.

“They even try that at school!” Ryan wheezed. “I just look at them with one raised eyebrow and say ‘really? I’ll tell you kid, I invented this excuse. Go back to your work’.”

Shane’s annoyance left just as soon as it arrived. He looked at Ryan with glinting eyes and in a malicious tone asked. “You’re telling me, you skipped class to make out with girls in the bathroom, Bergara? The shame”

Ryan gulped and stared at Shane mortified. And stuttering a bit he managed to spit out the words. “I-I supp-suppose at the time they were girls.” he sipped his cranberry lemonade and eyeing Shane by the corner of his eye said in a much clearer voice. “You can call me Ryan, you know.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s rude.” Shane’s heart was beating so fast that he felt like it was going to escape his chest. “Considering that people always assume I’m heterosexual or just deny my bisexuality, I should’ve known better.” he didn’t want to look at the man sat by his side. He knew the look of disgust people generally had on their faces when he admitted his sexuality.

“Bisexual? That’s nice.” Ryan’s voice was so sweet that Shane had to look up. He was looking at him with those gleaming eyes and soft mouth curved into a beautiful smile. Shane smiled back.

“I guess it is.”

Ryan sipped his drink again. Coughed a few times then turned to Shane. “So, Andrew was telling me some other day after class, that you work at Disney?” then after stealing one of his fries added. “Your son really loves you, he’s always talking about you.”

“Yeah, I do. I work at the animations studio.” he was torn between hugging Andrew and cutting his allowance. He’s basically selling me to his teacher as if I’m a cow.

“That’s so cool! I love Disney!” he now was turning his whole body on Shane’s direction. “You see, I have this friend, Helen, and we go every year to Disney together. It was where our friendship sort of began.”

“That’s really sweet. I, too, love Disney. Otherwise I wouldn’t work for them.” he also tuned his body. Their legs were touching.

Ryan looked at their legs, coughed a bit and blushing continued to make small talk. “Yeah, you don’t strike me as the type of man who would work at a place you hated.” his eyes followed Shane’s movements as he sipped on his green tea. Ryan shook his head. “Hmm… Working on any new projects? The new Moana maybe?”

Shane didn’t listen the question since he was too focused on studying those full lips moving. Quickly, he reached for his tea. When he noticed Ryan waiting for something, he apologized and asked him to repeat the question. Questions about his new projects always got him excited. He would feel like a secret agent when he asked for secrecy and judging by Ryan’s expression, he was probably into it. Shane and Ryan leaned on the direction of each other, and Ryan’s legs were now between Shane’s. They were whispering but sometimes, one of them would laugh too loud (Ryan) and other would smile like a stupid RomCom guy (Shane).

The kids got back to the table at some point, but the two of them barely acknowledged them. Their desserts were left untouched in front of their places. Shane had to admit that maybe Ryan had some great ideas. Well, and some not so great. “What if they are like the ghostbusters?! But they hunt sea creatures instead of ghosts.”

“Are you insane?” The boys would chuckle and Shane would just keep shooting questions at Ryan.

“You said you wanted two girls, right? What about two girls that investigate allegedly haunted locations around the world. The skeptic one could be a ghost that came back to have some fun at the cost of the other girl. Always pulling pranks and ordering other spirits to scare the believer who is obsessed with finding proof of ghosts existence.”

“Ryan Bergara, you are basically telling me to make a genderbent version of yourself.” Shane chuckled.

“Shut up, Shane. There’s more” he rolled his eyes. “The skeptic girl liked to scare the other girl at the beginning. But then they started to go to more dangerous places and she began to protect her and grew fond of the tiny scared, yet brave sometimes, human. I’m not saying there needs to be a romantic relationship, since they are teens, but they can be really good friends.”

“I like this. A lot. Even the romantic part.” then smirking a bit he added. “Now it definitely doesn’t seem like you are trying to be the smaller girl.”

“Well, for me it does sound like genderbent fanfiction of you two” Steven mumbled to Andrew

“What did you say, Steven?” Shane nervously asked as he eyed Ryan. I guess he didn’t hear it. But he’s blushing a bit.

“Nothing.” Andrew replied while glaring daggers at his sleepy boyfriend. “He just ate too much cake.”

“I guess we should be going.” Shane said as he started to look for the waiter to ask for their check.

“Yeah, it’s probably better. I need to take the bus home. We need to see how much I…” Ryan began but was cut off by Shane.

“No need. This dinner is on me. Would like a ride home?” Bergara shook his head. “Then I guess you should be going.” Shane added a bit off.

Ryan got up and said his goodbyes. Shane watched him walking out of the restaurant and something ached on his chest. He left his credit card for Andrew. “Meet me outside kiddo”. Just after he got out of the restaurant there was no sign of the man nearby, then Shane saw a small bus stop in the distance and a small figure walking in the direction of it. Shane ran.

The bus stop was close when he felt a hand touching his shoulder which startled him “Fuck, sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” a familiar voice made him relax and Ryan turned to stare at its owner.

“Hi. Again.”

“Yeah, I could’ve asked you on twitter, but I guess my brain thought it was a better idea to ran after you in the dark.” Shane was rambling. “And you have no clue of what I’m talking about and…” a small hand slapped his arm and Shane looked at Ryan half surprised and half in pain. “What…”

“Just spit it out, Shane”

He looked at Ryan and gaining back his non-justified confidence ‘spat it out’. “I was wondering if you you would like to meet me tomorrow at a coffee shop. It’s a small place, very intimate. We talk about my new cartoon and maybe other stuff.” I can’t believe I’m asking my son’s teacher on a date.

“Like a date?” Ryan’s voice was hopeful.

“No” Yes. “I mean, maybe.”

Ryan smirked and added before making a signal for the bus approaching the stop. “Then DM me the details for our date of Schrodinger, Madej”

[downwithwritersblock]

Hi! As of late I've been writing a fan fiction set in the X-men first class film, and I'm having trouble writing some of the characters, well, in character. I can't seem to match young Magnetos personality, what can I do to help myself really grasp his personality?

Alright. You came to the right person. 

I am a huge X-men nerd. Anyone who regularly follows this blog knows that I love super hero / villain dynamics. Im gonna add on to that information, and let you all know that I absolutely adore the X-Men franchise. It’s a large part of my childhood. There is so much I admire about this series. One of my favorite things, however is Magneto. 

Magneto is without a doubt one of my favorite examples of a ‘villain’. Magneto is complex, well defined and justifiable. Many villains are nothing more then pawns of the creator to oppose their protagonist. Often they are given one dimensional personalities, with weak or flimsy excuses to do what they do. Their only purpose is to be ‘evil’ and to fight against the good guy, because there is no Hero if there is no villain. Villains are meant to be hated. Made to be monsters. Now there is nothing wrong with making villains like this, but in my opinion, the best villains, are the most human ones. 

Magneto is a wonderfully example of this kind of villain, because he isnt really a villain. He doesnt consider himself one. In his story, and in the story of some others, Magneto is a Hero. He’s made to fight for justice, for peace for mutants. But he’s an extremest, and he acts in ways most people believe are wrong. His ideals clash directly with that of the x-men, and so that makes him their greatest enemy. However, Magneto is still often their ally, and although each others greatest rivals, he and Charles are also each others closest friend. 

He has a harsh past that haunts him, and because of that he is ever obsessed with the future. Magneto is determined to not let what happened to him, happen to his kind again. Instead of searching for peace and alliance and understanding like Charles Xavier, Magneto decides to try and do what he thinks is the safer, more secure route of turning the tables, and wiping out non-mutants. Magneto creates a very blurred line between being a villain and a hero. I could go on about this forever. But I need to get to the real advice I have for you. 

X-men first class is just one movie in the x-men franchise, a very old and extensive franchise. It can not give you everything you need for his character. It is but one tiny piece to a massive puzzle.  If you want to write Magneto, you have to remember everything he’s gone through. Do some research. If you can, go read some of the old, original x-men comics, or at least get some kind of summary of them online. If I remember correctly, he shows up a great deal in the Uncanny X-men series, and he did get a couple of his own mini series comics. You could always watch the original x-men movies again, Magneto is very frequent in those movies. He’s also shown extremely often in old x-men cartoons. I used to love the Wolverine and The X-men cartoon, while Magneto wasnt a constant main character, he was in it quite a bit, and did show a good level of his personality. Doing research never hurts, it could even be fun. 

Now, the hard part about fanfiction is that you have no choice but to work with predetermined characters, whose personalities are also already defined. It’s hard to write in the confines of something you didnt create. The more content you have to go off of, the better. That’s why writing a fanfiction for one single stand-alone movie is so much harder then say a book series. The good thing for you, is that X-men has been around since the 1960′s, that’s about 50 years worth of material for you to use and examine. Use that to your advantage, and use it to remind yourself of everything that has happened to him up until that age. Even looking at the things past that age can help give you clear ideas and points about his personality. 

I hope this, and if you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to ask!

[viralhottopics]

The charisma droids: today’s robots and the artists who foresaw them

RoboThespian and the worlds first automaton newsreader are the stars of the Science Museums Robots show. But did Da Vinci and Michelangelo beat them to it?

An android toddler lies on a pallet, its doll-like face staring at the ceiling. On a shelf rests a much more grisly creation that mixes imitation human bones and muscles, with wires instead of arteries and microchips in place of organs. It has no lower body, and a single Cyclopean eye. This store room is an eerie place, then it gets more creepy, as I glimpse behind the anatomical robot a hulking thing staring at me with glowing red eyes. Its plastic skin has been burned off to reveal a metal skeleton with pistons and plates of merciless strength. It is the Terminator, sent back in time by the machines who will rule the future to ensure humanitys doom.

Backstage at the Science Museum, London, where these real experiments and a full-scale model from the Terminator films are gathered to be installed in the exhibition Robots, it occurs to me that our fascination with mechanical replacements for ourselves is so intense that science struggles to match it. We think of robots as artificial humans that can not only walk and talk but possess digital personalities, even a moral code. In short we accord them agency. Today, the real age of robots is coming, and yet even as these machines promise to transform work or make it obsolete, few possess anything like the charisma of the androids of our dreams and nightmares.

Thats why, although the robotic toddler sleeping in the store room is an impressive piece of tech, my heart leaps in another way at the sight of the Terminator. For this is a bad robot, a scary robot, a robot of remorseless malevolence. It has character, in other words. Its programmed persona (which in later films becomes much more helpful and supportive) is just one of those frightening, funny or touching personalities that science fiction has imagined for robots.

Remorseless malevolence Terminator Salvation (2009). Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros

When Douglas Adams unleashed Marvin the Paranoid Android in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on Radio 4 in 1978, the idea of a robot with a human-like personality was already enough of a cliche for Adams to have fun subverting it. Instead of being either loyal servant or sinister would-be overlord, Marvin shares our unenviable human capacity for self-pity and despair. Brain the size of a planet and you want me to clean this spaceship.

Would we really want to replicate melancholy in a machine? Perhaps we would, if robots are ever to genuinely relate to human beings. Just before Marvin came along, the original Star Wars in 1977 had imagined two kinds of robot a mobile computer, R2-D2, and his much more humanoid interpreter C-3PO whose attitude shares some of Marvins wounded passive aggression. More recently, Matt Groenings sc-fi cartoon Futurama featured Bender, a robot who smokes and drinks, is a liar, an egomaniac and a thief. In the latest Star Wars episode Rogue One, K-2SO is a converted Imperial droid who is constantly behaving insensitively and apparently selfishly in short an electronic jerk.

Can the real life well, real simulated life robots in the Science Museums new exhibition live up to these characters? The most impressively interactive robot in the show will be RoboThespian, who acts as compere for its final gallery displaying the latest advances in robotics. He stands at human height, with a white plastic face and metal arms and legs, and can answer questions about the value of pi and the nature of free will. Im a very clever robot, RoboThespian claims, plausibly, if a little obnoxiously.

Im very clever RoboThespian humanoid robot. Photograph: Reuters/Thomas

Except not quite as clever as all that. A human operator at a computer screen connected with Robothespian by wifi is looking through its video camera eyes and speaking with its digital voice. The result is huge fun the droid moves in very lifelike ways as it speaks, and its interactions dont need a live operator as they can be preprogrammed. But a freethinking, free-acting robot with a mind and personality of its own, Robothespian is not.

Are todays robots any closer to true agency than the Mechanical Turk, a chess-playing automaton that amazed 18th- and early 19th-century Europe? This lifelike early robot beat all-comers at chess, apparently by the power of a clockwork brain. It was a hoax. In reality a chess grandmaster was hidden inside the machine controlling its every move. Robothespian is no hoax. It is a state-of-the-art robot, with complex movements and interactive responses but it can not think for itself. Robotics is a long way from creating anything with as much personhood as Marvin the Paranoid Android.

A 16th-century automaton monk from Spain, who beat his chest as he prayed. The clockwork mechanism was hidden beneath his habit. Photograph: Science Museum

That is not for want of trying. Robots reveals that human beings have been obsessed with automating ourselves for at least 500 years. Early automata in this exhibition include a Spanish 16th-century painted wooden statue of a monk that can move by clockwork. This attempt to give a statue the illusion of living movement fits well with other art of the age when it was created. Religious art from the 16th and 17th centuries includes gorily realistic sculptures of the dead Christ covered with blood and faces of the Virgin apparently shedding wet tears: to animate such statues was just another way to awe and move the Catholic pious.

Our fascination with synthetic humans goes back to the human urge to recreate life itself to reproduce the mystery of our origins. Artists have aspired to simulate human life since ancient times. The ancient Greek myth of Pygmalion, who made a statue so beautiful he fell in love with it and prayed for it to come to life, is a mythic version of Greek artists such as Pheidias and Praxiteles whose statues, with their superb imitation of muscles and movement, seem vividly alive. The sculptures of centaurs carved for the Parthenon in Athens still possess that uncanny lifelike power.

Most of the finest Greek statues were bronze, and mythology tells of metal robots that sound very much like statues come to life, including the bronze giant Talos, who was to become one of cinemas greatest robotic monsters thanks to the special effects genius of Ray Harryhausen in Jason and the Argonauts.

The smile of Mona Lisa reflects Da Vincis research on the mechanics of the muscles called lips. Photograph: BBC/Illuminations

Renaissance art took the quest to simulate life to new heights, with awed admirers of Michelangelos David claiming it even seemed to breathe (as it really does almost appear to when soft daylight casts mobile shadow on superbly sculpted ribs). So it is oddly inevitable that one of the first recorded inventors of robots was Leonardo da Vinci, consummate artist and pioneering engineer. Leonardo apparently made, or at least designed, a robot knight to amuse the court of Milan. It worked with pulleys and was capable of simple movements. Documents of this invention are frustratingly sparse, but there is a reliable eyewitness account of another of Leonardos automata. In 1515 he delighted Francois I, king of France, with a robot lion that walked forward towards the monarch, then released a bunch of lilies, the royal flower, from a panel that opened in its back.

Leonardo da Vincis robots were more than gimmicks. They reflect the way he thought about nature. In his anatomical drawings, many of which record his own careful dissections of corpses, he sees the human body as a complex and marvellous machine. On the same sheet as his famous drawing of a foetus in the womb, for instance, he shows the wall of the womb connected by protruberances like the teeth of gear wheels. This vision of tiny cogs working in the human body reveals how he saw us not as angelic wonders the religious orthodoxy of his time but as contraptions, our ligaments pulleys, our eyes cameras. His greatest simulcra still exists. She is called the Mona Lisa.

Da Vinci applied the same science that inspired his automata to his most famous portrait. The smile of Mona Lisa reflects his research on the mechanics of the muscles called lips. Her lifelike eyes embody his understanding of optics. Contemporaries responded to the Mona Lisa as a hypnotic imitation of life: Giorgio Vasari writing in 1550 goes into ecstasies over her illusory life.

One of the most uncanny androids in the Science Museum show is from Japan, a freakily lifelike female robot called Kodomoroid, the worlds first robot newscaster. With her modest downcast gaze and fine artificial complexion, she has the same fetishised femininity you might see in a Manga comic and appears to reflect a specific social construction of gender. Whether you read that as vulnerability or subservience, presumably the idea is to make us feel we are encountering a robot with real personhood. Here is a robot that combines engineering and art just as Da Vinci dreamed it has the mechanical genius of his knight and the synthetic humanity of his perfect portrait.

Art and science come together in the dream of the robot. To replicate humanity is a feat of artistic illusion as much as an engineering challenge. In the 21st century, robots with mask-like faces, plastic anatomies and friendly handshakes can, and do, draw on the ways artists have tried to reproduce the look and feel of human life for centuries. Yet the dream of the robot that shares human emotions is still, for now, a fantasy.

Robots is at the Science Museum, London SW7, from 8 February until 3 September.

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