#in a place you dont know and dont speak the language.. i have too much shame. i dont want to be That foreigner yk... hhhh

[zhuhongs]

girls when logistics....

[hexiewrites]

I’ve been thinking a lot about late-deafened Steve, and what that actually would have looked like. Because the thing is: I love this head cannon. Boy got bashed around so much, ESPECIALLY on his left side, theres no way he didn’t come out of that with some long term damage. And I’ve been thinking about what that means for him, when his hearing starts to go, and how isolating that would be.

Except. Then I keep thinking about Robin.

Give me child-of-Deaf-adults Robin. Robin whose parents met at Gallaudet. Who were confused and upset when the doctor said, relief clear on his face, oh thank god, how lucky, your baby is normal, she can HEAR. Robin who grows up a in a Deaf home with a Deaf family. Who learns ASL before she learns English. Who never learns to be quiet because at home it doesn’t matter, so she can blast trumpet all day long to no complaints, and forever feels uncomfortable in places where she has to try to keep it down. Robin who grows up learning ASL and English and thrives, loves the way her brain works when it’s parsing languages, and starts teaching herself French and Spanish too, blasting day time Spanish soap operas constantly whenever she’s at home, shouting along with the screen. Robin who interprets for her parents, taking on burdens no seven year old should when she’s the one who has to tell her mom the cancers back. Robin who, four years later, gets to tell her dad that the surgery worked. The cancers gone. Moms gonna be ok. Robin who, at eleven, doesn’t know the sign for remission but she signs CANCER-one hand eating at the other like the disease that almost took her Mom-and signs FINISH, signs NONE, signs MOM-OKAY, MOM-SAFE, and is glad her dad can’t hear how loud her sobs are because even she’s embarrassed at the noises she’s making. 

Robin who doesn’t quite fit at home, the loud little girl in the odd quiet house (not that her house is ever quiet: if you dont realize you’re making noise you don’t do anything to tamper it), and who doesn’t quite fit at school, when she shows up in kindergarten signing instead of speaking and all the other kids make fun of her for years, call her spazzy Buckley and imitate the signs, crude and heartbreaking and she can’t even cry here because everyone can hear her. Robin who teaches herself to speak without signing, sits on her hands and tries not to internalize the hatred, but her fingers still twitch constantly along with the words. Robin who thinks she’s never going to fit in, and tries to separate out the two different parts of herself because it’s easier, most days, to pretend to be “normal” even though that feels wrong too.

Give me Robin, who knows Steve inside out and who knows what it looks like when someone can’t hear you but pretends they can. Robin who clocks Steve immediately, even though he tries to brush her off like he’s been doing to everyone. Robin who finally takes him home to meet her parents, explaining it all in the car (into his right ear, which is better than the left though still starting to fade). Robin who gives Steve the gift of understanding and hope for the future. Who holes up with him and teaches him sign, slow at first (because Steve has never been good at grammar, and he constantly furrows his eyebrows despite her pleas that eyebrows are important in ASL and he needs to use his face more or he’s going to confuse everyone, it’s the visual equivalent of lilting your voice up like every sentence is a question and it’s weird, Steve!) and then faster as he starts to realize how useful it is, starts to bring her lists full of signs to learn, starts to lean on and cherish the experience of this new way to communicate. Robin, who helps him practice lipreading even though she’s terrible at it. Robin, who finally convinces him to get a hearing aid and lets him sob into her shoulder when the doctor says it’ll help for a few years, but long term there’s probably nothing they can do, and then tells him to buck it up because there are way worse things than being a little deaf and besides, now the Buckleys will just have to adopt him for real because they did always talk about adopting a deaf child or two, if there was ever one in need.

Give me CODA Robin, whose never felt like she belonged until she nearly gets murdered by Russians with her best friend. Who brings Steve into her life, shows him Deaf culture, gives him a place where he fits. Robin who finally realizes that this is her place too, and it’s so much sweeter for getting to share it with the people she loves.

And then, after, give me Eddie knocking on the Buckley door and begging to learn ASL too. Give me Robin’s mom, somehow roped in to teaching him and the party, as they try to learn in secret to make Steve’s life easier (and their own, because ASL is god tier for pulling pranks from opposite sides of a high school cafeteria). Give me Dustin, excitedly telling Miranda Buckley to FUCK-OFF every week for months because he thinks he’s saying THANK-YOU and she finds it too funny to correct him. Give me Eddie trying to surprise Steve and ask him out on a date, but instead of signing HUNGRY, WANT YOU&ME GO AFTER WORK? he signs HORNY, WANT YOU&ME GO FUCK?

And give me Steve, who thinks about it for a long minute (partially because Eddie totally botches the grammar, but partially because he looks so hot, standing there nervous and trying to communicate with Steve in a way that will make him the most comfortable) before he smirks and signs back YEAH, and takes Eddie on the best goddamn first date of his life. 

[lowkeyrobin]

hello!!

would you be willing to do a TMR minho fic?

basically just them at the little glade treehouse (i live for that treehouse lol) and maybe they stole some food from frypan and are just chatting and having a laugh together whilst cuddling or something bc they dont get to spend alot of time together as he is always in the maze??

(been loving your writing recently btw, literally one of the v few writers who write for MCYTS and respect their boundaries so tysm!!)

hope ur having a good day:)

oh hell yeah brother LMAO ; also thank you and you're welcome!! im all for respecting boundaries because ik how that feels when they're broken + I'm not a weirdo lol, and thank you for appreciating my work, it means sm to me 🫶🫶🫶 ; have a good day/night :) ; post writing me, sorry this is so short :( ; also I know I said I was in trouble but NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT??

MINHO ; tree house cuddles

summary ; sneaking food into the tree house and having late night convos with minho

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; reader is a track-hoe, Thomas has been in the maze for months and exists, but no Teresa/escaping the maze

word count ; 459

masterlist

You loved your beautiful boyfriend Minho. He was an angel sent from above, truly. Or... maybe below? The box and what existed out of the Glade was confusing, sadly. God, you wished you could remember anything outside of here.

Sadly, you hadn't seen him very much recently.

He'd been busy with his duties in the maze and the Map Room, and you've been busy working in the gardens damn near all day every day. Your rations were running low, the crops were growing slower than ever, and you couldn't figure out why. It's not like there were deer or raccoons feasting on them either. It was just you Gladers here, nothing else. You'd been stressing out over it and needed some time away from it for a while.

Thankfully, the beloved tree house existed, and rarely anyone used it.

You'd stolen a basket of fruit from Fry's kitchen, awaiting the arrival of Minho. Hopefully, Newt stuck to his word, or remembered to, to send Minho to the tree house to spend some time with you.

Thankfully, the beautiful Korean boy showed up, dressed casual and out of the heavy gear he had to wear in the maze. He greeted you with a tired yet warm smile, sitting down with you on the wooden floor.

"Hey, how's your day?" He asks, sitting next to you, shoulder to shoulder.

You hand him a little basket of strawberries. "Fine, I guess." You shrug, "Need a minute away from the gardens"

He nods, "I need a minute away from the shuckin' maze"

You dangle your feet off the side of the platform, soaking up each other's presence.

He pulls you into his lap, between his legs. He rests his chin on your shoulder while his arms rest around your waist. You feel your stomach swarm with butterflies, resting your hands over his.

"I love you" He whispers, placing a kiss on your temple.

"Love you too, dork," you reply with a smile, leaning your head back to rest yourself against him.

"What a romantic" He giggles, pulling you a little closer.

The night continues on in peace, smiles, giggles and kisses shared, hands intertwined. You share your body heat, cuddled up and comfy.

"No, no, no, he said something like he was gonna beat him back into the box! How does that even work? Gally acts like Thomas is some universal threat or something" You laugh as you speak.

"I have no idea, darling." He smiles and chuckles, listening to you ramble on and on about stories he'd missed during the day.

You look up at him and place a kiss on his jawline, a stupid smile on his face.

"Love you"

"Love you too"

"...Thanks for being mine"

"Okay, shut up, shank"

[psychhound]

d&d 5e languages and gender

i know this is already a very nerdy blog but please indulge me a moment,,

for my homegame i've been fleshing out how different languages in the game deal with gender / pronouns based on their cultures (some of them are canon languages but some are for our setting) and it made the little nerd in me very happy so i wanted to make some headcanons for the rest of the dnd languages and share it for anyone who'd like to steal / take inspo

feel absolutely free to use these in homegames but if you use for anything streamed or for your own ttrpg/homebrew/fics then crediting/linking back is appreciated :o)

disclaimer: this blog is run by a genderqueer trans man and any queerphobic interaction will immediately be blocked

common

common started off with the standard he, she, & they pronouns but simply Loves a good loanword and so its not uncommon to hear people using pronouns from other languages in otherwise entirely common dialogue. there is some Fighting about whether this is appropriative based on the individuals culture or whether its unfair to people who only speak common to keep up with them all

dwarvish

not too much variety in what most people would consider pronouns, it tends to be more one singular neutral pronoun for someone you don't know / don't know well, and then variations that are more like honorifics than anything else. their pronoun might translate more readily to "skilled with a hammer" than anything regarding a gender

elvish

lots of pronoun options that explore different presentations of gender but they are also age/experience locked. a feminine male elf would use different pronouns as a child, teen, young adult, young adult with job, middle age, middle aged with children, etc. using pronouns from a different life experience bracket from you is incredibly frowned upon and people just dont do it

giant

there is one pronoun for giants & kin and one pronoun for not giants and the one for not giants is not derogatory at all, its just used to differentiate who is part of the family or not (individuals adopted by giants tend to use the giant pronoun)

gnomish

LOTS of variation in pronouns. gnomes love inventing new pronouns. there are general grammatical rules that they follow to Signify that its a pronoun but hearing three new pronouns a day is like. not uncommon. lots of gnomish teens go through a phase of making up at least four new pronouns they want to go by. uncommon to only go by one set. typically introduced along with your name

(more under the cut)

goblin

no gendered pronouns, all pronouns are instead structured around relations between individuals. so one person would use brother pronoun with one person, son pronoun with another, best friend pronoun to another. the family pronouns are not locked to actual family, just what the relationship is like. if you don't know someone well, its "cousin", "niece/nephew", "auntie/uncle", or "grandparent" depending on their age

halfling

pronouns are split between public and private use. in general in the community or with outsiders, there's a single pronoun that translates loosely to "friend". actual individual pronouns are only known to and used with close friends and family. there's a small handful of them and only some of them have gendered connotations

orc

there are only four categories of pronouns: masculine, feminine, both/mixed, and neither. but there's a decent amount of variations because there are varying levels of formality for each of them. there are ways to conjugate them so they're more formal and respectful, but also lots of diminutives to make them more affectionate and closely-bonded

abyssal

no use of pronouns. lots of very specific derogatory terms that are used in place of them. i shant elaborate.

celestial

lots of variations in pronouns. they are not very closely tied to gender, but are tied to very specific aesthetics. instead of having individual pronoun words, in celestial you just use root words. so one person might use the root word for things that are soft and gentle and natural for their pronoun, while another person might use the root word for things associated with dark and murky and mysterious things for theirs. tend to be tied to domains

draconic

no use of pronouns, only names and titles. if you happen to share a name with another individual who speaks draconic, you would need a unique title to go after it. the full name and full title is said at every reference of someone

deep speech

deep speech has pronouns probably but hearing them for any individual you dont share a close identity group with makes you violently nauseous and then the word immediately leaves your mind so it's just really hard to learn them

infernal

there are words for "you", "me", "us", "we", "this one", "that one", "those ones" etc but no classic pronouns as far as individual usage goes. if someone really needs to be specific they would use whatever pronoun that individual uses in their native language. tieflings have introduced a Lot of neopronouns into infernal but theyre all borrowed from other languages and then reworked into infernal grammar and tend to be localized to communities

primordial

individuals are referred to their elemental type (or "none") rather than pronouns tied to gender. so it would be more like "the windy one" or "the rocky one" than anything like he or she

sylvan

no standard gendered pronouns, it's entirely nounself. so basically infinite amount of pronouns that are easily understood by anyone familiar with that noun. so you would have things like pebble pronoun, teapot pronoun, sword pronoun, with some general affiliations with presentation but less so with gender

undercommon

pronouns are based on level of respect and not gender, but there are also pronouns specifically used for children. like craftsmen would typically all use the same pronoun unless one was incredibly successful and respected, or had a very bad reputation, etc. there are pronouns used only for royalty and pronouns used only for deities

speak with animals

when translated into common, tends to just be translated as the animal's bio sex, but it can go a little screwy when speaking about creatures who have biological sexes so outside the humanoid concept of sex and gender that even magic dont fuckin know how to translate it. kind of just makes a weird bubbly noise in its place

if you read this far thank you thank you and if you end up using these in your campaign lore or fics i would love to know :o)

[razcina]

i’ll be there // Ch. 1

sam carpenter x fem!reader - masterlist

Samantha Carpenter struggles with her new life in NYC, not having much of a purpose other than to be the protector of her friends and family, and to attend therapy for feeling like an absolute psychopath and having the whole word view her as such. With all of her vices, will Sam be able to open her heart and let someone in?

wordcount: 2300

!! not proof-read, will edit. english isnt my first language haha

Sam had hoped moving to New York in an attempt to escape the trauma Woodsburo had brought, and so Tara and her friends could pursue their education would have lessened the constant paranoia and hateful looks she received, but if anything it only worsened.

News of the Woodsburo murders, and of Samantha Carpenter’s relations to the infamous Billy Loomis had spread all throughout the country, including stories of how the proclaimed “final girl” was the reason for the murders in the first place, and how she must carry the evil spirit of her father. Despite the constant speculation and sick rumors, Sam didn’t let any of it affect her.. atleast not publicly.

Afterall, the older Carpenter was preoccupied with keeping her younger sister, Tara safe, Something Tara personally hated. She understood Sams intentions, especially given the horrors they went through together back home, but all she wanted was freedom from all of this mess, and stubborn as ever, Tara would pull away from her sisters grasps whenever she could.

This once again led to Sam standing against the wall of some fraternity party swigging a bottle. Her eyes scanning the crowds of drunk college kids making sure Tara, aswell as her friends, Mindy, Chad, and Anika, weren’t making any stupid decisions. She’s incredibly focused, and any normal person would see her scowl and defensive stance and make the smart decision to back away. It’s what Sam expects, not opposed in the slightest as shes never been much of a social person. Thus, when she catches glimpse of a figure slip around her out of the corner of her eye, she startles, nearly dropping her drink.

Sam stands tall at around 5’9, so she barely notices when a shorter figure appears right beside her, looking up at her with a piercing gaze.

She looks down at the petite woman next to her. Normally, she wouldnt pay this person any mind, especially one this short and unthreatening looking, But she still stares, wondering how she even got there. she crosses her arms over her chest and takes a drink from her own bottle

“Watch where youre going”

Sam mutters, looking back up

The woman’s eyes narrow, but she masks a sly playful expression, contrasting sams gruff scowl.

“Why assume i didnt mean to come over here?”

Sam assumes this is just another person who had seen her on the news, eyeing her up and down, trying not to roll her eyes. This girl couldnt be the killer, but considering her size she seems too small to do any real damage. Sam grumbles.

“Why are you lookin at me?”

The other girl shrugs, leaning against the wall next to Sam and sipping on her own drink.

“Didn’t know it was illegal to stare at people scowling in a corner at a frat party”

Sam rolls her eyes

“Its not, i just don’t understand what you want from me”

The other girl shrugs again, speaking in a nonchalant tone

“To get to know you, you seem interesting”

Frowning little and tilting her head, Sams curiosity is getting the better of her, but not to the point shes gonna go and trust this girl and spill her darkest secrets. Shes always on edge, so even a slight tone change makes her suspicious. so she tries to keep her rough tone, but its not working.

“What about me?”

“i dont know.. why dont you tell me?”

The woman whispers, leaning against the wall next to sam, who is desperately trying to keep watching her friends and tara, but failing and getting distracted.

Sam eyes the short girl and swishes the alcohol in her bottle, suspicion spiking now and though she is trying not to, she is failing at trying to continue her grumpy attitude. Shes got her hand wrapped around the pepper spray on her keychain, just incase this girl tries anything, but she just stares, wondering why she even cares.

“I dont know? im.. just me”

The woman smiles shyly, shrugging

“thats oka-“

Before she finishes her sentence, some drunk guys rush past, pushing sam and her possible new friend aside roughly, Sam nearly drops her drink, and y/n is pushed right against sam. The taller woman groans in annoyance at the sudden impact, when she gets herself back together, she realizes the other stands fitting right under sams arm against her, seeming startled.

Sam hisses and looks down, noticing the woman stands right underneath her arm. if anything, shes startled as well. She cant help it though and her arms and hands instinctively wrap around y/n’s waist as she keeps her in place as well as protecting her from the crowd. Shes never protected someone before, other than her younger sister, but it was her instinct to grab this stranger by her waist. Sam doesnt know how she let this happen, but now this girl is pressed right up against her, and shes surprised that she didnt push her away yet. Normally she wouldnt be okay with someone touching her and would distance herself, but even though she seems annoyed and disgruntled, she doesnt move away. Instead Sam just keeps her arm around this girl, the pepper spray key chain hanging down as her hand rests on the shorter womans back. Shes a lot closer to her than she had anticipated.

The girls eyes widen slightly and she lets out a soft “oh-“ when sam grabs her to keep her standing. y/n sees the pepperspray out of the corner of her eye but seems not to react, instead getting distracted by sams toned biceps and overall upper body, a faint blush creeping onto her face. Sam is immediately confused with herself and gets the instinct to back away. sam didnt come here to make friends, shes here to watch and protect Tara and her existing friends.

She seems to snap out of her instincts and realized she held the girl a bit longer than she should have. She tries not to stare too hard at the smaller woman, though her curiosity and intrigue continues to grow. she doesnt push the girl away and looks away as she puts one hand on her drink and looks off to the side, clearing her throat

“you alright?”

Sam asks with a gentle voice she didnt expect to come out of her. shes usually loud, and rude, shes surprised by the softness to her tone.

“y-yeah..”

y/n mumbles, still blushing as she watches sams hand slowly leave her waist.

“thank you..”

Sam raises an eyebrow at y/n. She didnt know if she was actually okay, but shes not gonna ask again, Keeping one hand on her drink as she crosses her arms over her chest again. Shes still watching y/n, though in the corner of her eye, as shes back to keeping a close watch on her Tara, among other friends she’s looking out for.

“hm. youre welcome.”

“whats your name?”

y/n blurts out suddenly, unsure of a better time to ask

Sam looks back at the girl and narrows her eyes into slight suspicion again. She never really liked giving out her info, especially during this era. But.. for some reason she caves, shrugging and then leaning back against the wall.

“Sam. Your name?”

“y/n”

She responds, leaning against the wall next to sam, having to look up to talk to her

“Hi Sam..”

Sam just lets out a short hum as a response. Its unusual for sam to feel this way around someone, not so on edge as she usually is.

She just keeps a close eye on everything around her, mainly Tara and co, but y/n was slightly distracting.

y/n tilts her head, the playful glint returning to her hazel eyes

“What, am I not interesting enough for you to look at?”

Sam looks at y/n, raiseing an eyebrow with a flat look.

“I was watching everything, and youre included. So yes. youre interesting enough”

She just takes a sip from her drink, trying to keep her tone even.

“You seem distracted”

Sam mumbles something in response but y/n doesnt catch it, squinting at the tall girl instead.

“Okay.. so what are you doing here if you dont like parties? No ones forcing you to be here you know.. you dont seem like a party person.”

“..yeah. I have to watch my friends and sister.”

she takes another sip of her drink, not taking her eyes off the crowd as she does so.

y/n tilts her head

“You have to babysit your adult friends and sister?”

Sam just scoffs and rolls her eyes, her tone going back to being harsh. She never liked the “babysitter” word that some people like to use when talking about her. She crosses her arms over her chest again.

“If youre calling this babysitting, then yes i have to babysit my “adult friends” and sister.”

“Why?”

Sam scoffs again, her tone becoming harsher when y/n doesn’t even know the answer and has probably never been in her situation.

“Because they need me. Because someone in this world is always out to kill them.”

Sam eyes the shorter woman again, then glances back to the crowd. She doesn’t even know why she’s explaining this to a stranger.

“Oh.”

It clicks in y/n’s head that the taller woman is refferring to the recent ghostface killings. She had heard of them all over, and how they were starting to pop up around NYC.

Sam is surprised when it clicks for her. Usually people ask, “what do you mean someone’s out to kill them?” or “why do they need you?” or “you can’t be serious” but y/n didnt. She just put the pieces together. and sam didn’t know what to say further. She takes another sip from her drink as she glances around the party, now a bit more anxious

y/n looks somber when the killings are mentioned, an expression Sam barely notices

“What about your own enjoyment?”

The paranoid woman’s stomach drops at the mention of her own enjoyment. She actually hasn’t had any.. in a while. For a long time. Shes always on duty. Always keeping an eye on things and everyone else. she didn’t even think she deserved any own enjoyment. Sam was doing this for everyone else, not herself. She shakes her head and takes another sip from her drink, her tone a bit harsh

“im more concerned about their lives than my enioyment”

“mm..”

y/n’s change of voice is hard to hide as she says something that catches sam off guard entirely.

“You’re a really good person.. the kind people should appreciate more”

Samantha is taken back when she hears the compliment, and she stays silent for a moment. She didnt think she was a good person. She didnt think she was anything. Sam just shook her head, not knowing what to say. She was Billy Loomis’ daughter..

“no im not-“

She quickly argues. it wasnt true. she just did what she had to do, she had to protect. there was nothing else to it. Sam took another sip from her drink, hoping y/n would just move on, because she didnt want to talk about it

“hush”

The other woman cuts her off, glancing up at her and takes a sip of her own drink. Sam can see that her eyes seem to be slightly moist*

“youre perfect”

y/n whispers, barely able to be heard under the loud party music.

Sams eyes widen again. Her heart rate speeds up just from y/n calling her perfect. this isnt right. Sam wasnt perfect. she killed someone. Sam feels all her walls just break down at this point, which is incredibly out of character for her.

“im- im not perfect-“

Sam whispers, almost like a whimper. her harshness fades away and her gentle look comes in place as she stares down at y/n.

Sam blinks in complete shock. Was this girl about to cry? and why was she telling Sam she was perfect? therapy tall woman doesnt know what to do with this comment, and her cheeks had heated up a bit. Sam was about to speak when she notices those little tears in y/n’s eyes and stops herself. She cant say what she was about to say. she just watches her.

y/n smiles faintly, clearing her thoat

“i-i should go.. and leave you to your babysitting.”

Sam watches her, eyes soft as she sees her smile. She was hoping she didnt hear that right, but she couldnt get herself to stop her. Sam was about to speak again, but the harshness in her voice was completely gone. there was no more scowl, and she was just being soft like y/n was. As the short woman begins to walk away though, Sam stops her and grabs her hand. Startled, her head darts around and she looks up at Sam, a tear already threatening to fall.

..!

Sam freezes for a second, then realizes that she just grabbed y/n’s hand and is still holding onto her hand. In this moment, her mind is racing. She wants to say something but cant. She wants to ask something but feels this is just wrong. Sam watches as the tear runs down her cheek. She sees it and freezes. She cant help but feel guilty for making this girl almost cry. Normally, Sam would have let her go, and let the girl cry without even a care, but.. this was different. There was an urge to comfort her. So sam just takes a little step closer and gently grabs the girls chin, tilting her head up to look at her, all care about Tara and ghostface vanished.

“dont..”

[greg-montgomery]

Okay so absolutely loving your writing sm <3

So I had this idea while, of course, scrolling down the aaron x reader tag so like you dont have to write it if you dont want to but i wanna throw this out here bc otherwise itll stay stuck in my brain

But like reader who is just,, incredibly shy? Like in social situations they put up a front and you would never expect them to be shy because theyre very present and speak up often despite almost blending in the background when quiet. But its a whole other story at home and such?

Like, Aaron notices and first thinks theyre uncomfortable with him but he slowly realizes that this is like, their love language ig and showing vulnerability? Quiet time, acts of service and such yk? Like, they always put up a front and to drop that (not entirely ofc but a decent amount of it) is just the highest form of trust bc theyve been ridiculed for being shy? And the shyness is much more present in the bedroom, especially when he praises them they just get even more shy and hes just so so gentle :(( like asking if theyre okay, going slowly and asking to see them when they hide their face but never forcing them to and just like praising them when they do and the praise kink of them just sticks its head up and its just the purest form of being together? Like, its not rough but gentle and its soft and theres really no other word than making love for it and its all just :(( and the aftercare the man would provide is just AHHH😭❤️

Oh dear im so sorry but i got sucked into the fandom and got obsessed by hotch and then your writing so- this is so long so imma shut up now but i just needed to throw it out there tbh before id explode from all the hotch ideas i have in my mind that im not writing myself or giving to any writer bc what if they think the ideas are weird or too long like rn- but anyway imma shut up have a nice day/night and hydrate <3 (also you might see more of me if you dont mind long ass rants in the middle of it like this one- if you do mind just tell me to shut up im not gonna be mad or anything <3/srs)

-🧽

my sweet sweet 🧽 anon <33 this took me a while to write i'm sorry!! i hope you've been well!! i think about you a lot and i haven't forgotten the kind words you had sent to me <3 i hope you enjoy this!! (and ofc i don’t mind long rants i LOVE talking about aaron <3333)

nsfw - minors dni

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Can I, honey?” you heard Aaron’s words as he wrapped his hands around your wrists.

You had been covering your face as you usually did when your boyfriend went down on you. After making you finish, Aaron had made his way up again, urging you nicely to look at him.

With a nod of your head, you gave him permission to gently remove your hands from your face.

“There you are.” He smiled at you.

“Hi,” you said, softly, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little.

“Hi,” he answered, just as softly. “Do you wanna taste yourself, baby?”

“Mhm…” You nodded, staring at his chin instead of his eyes.

Your own eyes closed involuntarily, as he lowered himself and his lips touched yours. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to touch yours. Knowing where that tongue had been before it was inside your mouth, made you even more excited for what was coming next.

Aaron placed his hand on your hip, giving it a squeeze and then moved it down your thigh, wrapping your leg around his body. “Open them wider, sweetheart.”

Only a few moments later, Aaron was inside you, rocking his body against yours, in a pace slow enough to be considered both romantic and tormenting.

“Ah…”

“Good?” he breathed heavily on your mouth.

“So good…”

“I love you,” he moaned, his face now buried in the crook of your neck. He left open mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin after every little whine of yours. “I love your body. I love the sounds you make. I love the way you take me like you were made for me.”

“I was,” you sighed, because you really were. There was no man in the world you’d let yourself be this vulnerable around, other than Aaron. Your Aaron.

[janmisali]

been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

[lizzie-is-here]

lonely is a man without love

part v- the boat

“we are all like the bright moon, we still have our darker side” - kahlil gibran

summary: the weirdest boat you’ve ever been on.

wordcount: 3.8k

warnings: language, death, violence, abuse, red room, more episode five to come

a/n: hiii, i’m slowly getting back into my groove lmao. got the results back on my finals and scraped by in math, saw taylor in the pouring rain, ya know, normal things. thank y’all sm for being patient w these uploads. as always, hope you enjoy, love you all 🫶🫶🫶

taglist: @thefictionalgemini @ravenz-hope @undiscl0sed-d3sir3s @iateall-yourcookies @disregardedplant @sunflowers-4 @yellowumbrelllaaaa @bagsy-not-it @local-mr-frog @thescarletredwitch @jupitersmoon167 @creamecafe @stevenknightmarc @theluciansystem @kingtwhiddleston @spider-biter @mxltifxnd0m @sgt-morgan @no-dont-be-suspicious @onzayhe @namorslit @i-cant-write-for-shit @vainillasmil157 @doublevirgogirl @boofy1998

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Now, you’ve grave robbed before. The Red Room had some dirty work, literally and figuratively.

However, you’ve never grave robbed an Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Especially not with a man who’s kind of two men who are the avatar of an Egyptian god.

You’ve done worse.

Like shoving your hand down a mummy’s throat because Steven didn’t want to.

“Be gentle!” Steven yelps as you dig around the dead man.

You scoff. “What is he going to do, bite my arm? The integrity of the enamel is pretty shot now, I think I’ll be fine.”

Finally, your hand touches stone. Yanking it free, you victoriously present the ushabti to Steven.

He cheers as you both jump in excitement, passing the ushabti between you both to examine it. Your heart is pounding, both out of excitement and how close you are to Steven.

It turns out to be even closer than you thought when you look up, and almost bump heads with him.

For a moment, you just take in his gaze. How gently his eyes meet yours, deep and dark and entrancing all the same.

“We may have to fight our way out of here,” you cough, refocusing.

Steven shakes his head. “No, no. We can just sneak out a back entrance and-“

“Steven.” You rest a hand on his. “They have a way to track us if we have the ushabti. There are guards crawling all over this place. It’s going to get messy.”

In his head, Marc agrees.

‘It’s gonna be a fight Steven, she’s right.’

“No, no, not everything is a fight.” He’s not sure if he’s talking to Marc or you. “There’s more solutions than- than killing people.” You can’t disguise the way that his words sting.

A loud rumbling of footsteps echoes down the hallway.

You raise an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

‘Give me the body, Steven!’

In an instant, the mild-mannered Brit is gone, and Marc is readjusting to having control again.

“This is bad,” he whispers, as the footsteps grow louder.

You chuckle. “Yeah, no shit.”

Watching you ready your weapons and aim at the entrance, noticing the way your breath trembles, Marc makes a split-second decision.

“You should run.”

“What?” You balk, never taking your eyes off the tunnel before you. “I’m not leaving you.”

“This is my mess, you don’t need to get hurt for me.”

“Too bad.”

The room is flooded with Harrow’s devotees as you finish your sentence. Dozens of guns, all trained on the two of you. You don’t waver, staring down the barrel of your own gun with a finger resting on the trigger.

“I remember the first morning I woke up knowing Khonshu was gone,” Harrow says, stepping up towards Marc. He doesn’t even act phased by the weapon pointed at his head.

“The quiet was liberating.”

It sounds hauntingly like the chemical-induced control in the Red Room. Voices in your head that aren’t your own.

“You’re a free man.”

Logically, you know that Harrow is speaking to Marc. And yet…

“And, of course, with that freedom, comes choice. And right now, you have a very important decision to make.”

Marc sighs. “Okay.”

He’s not one to give up. That much has been made clear in the time you’ve known him. You don’t have to look at him to know he’s planning something.

The moment he strikes, so do you, shooting down as many men as you can. It’s a whirlwind, Marc with a stolen weapon from the sarcophagus and you with anything you can get your hands on.

Of course, cornering a wanted mercenary and a Black Widow in a small space is a recipe for violence.

Harrow knows this.

You’ve heard a lot of gunshots in your life, even felt a good dozen or so. The scars littered across your body tell that story without uttering a single word.

So you know when you’ve been hit.

And you know that this one is bad. Really bad.

A shot to your stomach, then two more to your chest. You can feel your clavicle shatter and ribs crack, but you can’t hear yourself scream. Maybe you don’t even make a sound.

The pain is blinding and absent all at once, and the only thing besides the ringing in your ears is Marc’s panicked movements as he catches you before you fall.

“Hey, hey, hold on. You’re okay, I’ve gotcha.” His words are muffled, but you swear you feel him press a kiss to your forehead. Not such a bad way to go.

He’s cussing, holding you close and shielding you from the onslaught of bullets when he takes two shots to the back.

That’s all it takes.

He topples into the pool of water with you still cradled in his arms, and the darkness only gives you relief.

You don’t let yourself think about Sam, Bucky, and Steve. Or Tony and Peter. Not even Nat and Yelena.

About how the Avengers will hunt this man down. About how they’ll find your body in the water.

Will the world mourn a killer?

Well, the only “world” to you right now is the dark water you’re sinking in and the man holding you tight, so you suppose it doesn’t matter all that much.

———————————————————————

You open your eyes to a hell you never thought you’d return to.

A large, open room, cold and dreary. A woman looms in the corner and about twenty or so little girls look up at you expectantly.

When you turn to the wall covered in one large mirror, you’re met with something else.

A ballerina. White platter tutu bejeweled with gems, worn pointe shoes, your hair tightly pulled back.

The woman snaps her fingers. You instantly jump into the motions you thought you had forgotten, executing a routine with a kind of poised grace that would only ever come with the Red Room’s brutal training.

Finishing with a bow, not even breaking a sweat, you are dismissed, and the world seems to shift.

Now, the room you’re in is bathed in red light. When you look down, you’re in a Black Widow uniform.

You’re not too alarmed by this. No, what scares you is what you know lies in front of you. The bodies on the floor.

The sirens in the halls.

The man in the room, examining your technique.

There’s a fog in your head that you know all too well.

“The chemical seems to be working,” a familiar woman says. Her hair is done up in more braids than you can count. “It wasn’t even this successful on my pigs.”

“I don’t give a shit about your pigs,” the man growls. “I just can’t have another Widow escaping.”

You blink, and they’re gone. The room is white and the haze in your mind is receding. You’re still in the uniform, but you don’t mind that as much.

Wandering the bright hallways, you find yourself in a hospital. The lights seem to sway, and your balance is faultier than usual. Must be a side effect of the flashbacks.

Voices are echoing down the hallway, and you can’t help but feel that they sound… familiar.

“But Marc, Marc-“

“The hospital! That’s the imagination.”

Why would their voices be separate? They continue arguing as you turn the corner, just as Marc turns around.

His breath catches in his throat, as if he’s seeing, well, a ghost.

“Oh, c’mon,” he sighs. “That’s just cruel.” Marc walks forward, still not really believing in this whole “afterlife” deal or that you’re here.

Because that would mean you’re dead.

“Where are we?” you ask, hurrying around the corner only to see… uh, a hippo, and maybe more concerning, Steven.

You mutter under your breath in Russian, only stopping when Steven puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but-“

“We’re dead,” Marc finishes, groaning audibly. There’s no way around it. “Harrow, he- he shot you, and then…”

He blinks away the image of you, bloodied in his arms.

“Wait, if this really is the afterlife-” Marc says, approaching a door. “Then what’s on the other side-“

He flings the double doors open, revealing that the swaying of the building wasn’t a hallucination.

You’re on a boat. In the middle of a fucking desert. And you’re also apparently dead.

“Oh, what the shit,” you gasp. “Where the hell are we?”

Steven follows behind you. “It’s the underworld.”

You still don’t understand how the two are separate, even as Marc laughs and pats his alter on the shoulder. “I’m not crazy,” he sighs in relief. “I’m dead.”

“Where are we going?” you ask, watching as the boat coasts over dunes.

“We’re sailing to A’aru. To the Field of Reeds, right, Taweret?”

The hippo, apparently Taweret, nods. “Ah, so he’s the smart one, eh? Well, if your heart’s balanced in life, then you will spend eternity in paradise. The Field of Reeds!”

She coughs before reaching out her hands toward Marc and Steven. “But before we get there, I’ve just got to do a little…”

Her hands pass through their bodies like air, and when she pulls them back, in her hands are two, identical, white hearts.

“Oh, goody! It worked! Look at that! Here was little old me worrying I’d blow your chests wide open.” You wince, before stepping forward.

“I guess you have to do that to me?” you ask, hating the answer.

She nods, and just as gently removes your heart, cradling the three.

“You’re more of a standard case, really, no offense to you boys. We’ll weigh yours first.”

“What’s happening?” you whisper to Steven.

“She’s going to weigh your heart on the Scales of Justice against the Feather of Truth. The ancient Egyptians believed that the heart was the sign of who you really were in life.”

The space in your chest feels cold now.

“If the Scales balance by the time you end the journey, then your soul is permitted to pass into the Field of Reeds.”

You feel a chill run down your spine. “And if it doesn’t balance?”

“You get thrown overboard,” Taweret politely informs. “Whoo! The dead will drag you down into the Duat, where you will remain forever, frozen in sand.”

Wonderful.

You watch as she sets your heart on the scales, waiting for it to almost fall over from your heart’s weight.

But it doesn’t.

It sits rather politely, perfectly equal to the feather.

“I think your scale is broken,” you mumble. “I’ve done a lot of, um, less-than-balanced things in my life.”

The hippo shakes her head kindly. “No, the Scales aren’t wrong. However, your heart does feel heavier than most. Perhaps there’s something in the boat to help lighten the load?”

Next, she sets down Marc and Steven’s hearts. They had been talking in hushed tones a few paces away, but Taweret’s voice brings them back.

The scales are rapidly shifting, never stilling on one side or the other.

“What’s it doing, why is it moving like that?” Steven asks.

The goddess shrugs. “I don’t know. I do not have a card for this.” She carefully removes the hearts.

“Oh. It’s the hearts. They aren’t… full.” She chuckles a bit. “And trust me, I’m a goblet-half-full kind of gal, but… It’s like they each feel incomplete.”

Marc crosses his arms. “What does that mean?”

“Without balanced scales, the Duat will eventually claim your soul.”

“So what do we do?” you ask.

“This boat contains all of a life’s memories,” Taweret says. “Now, I don’t know what you two have been hiding, but my advice, get in there and show each other the truth. Balance your scales before we arrive at the Field of Reeds, or your souls will be destroyed.”

You don’t hesitate, hurriedly opening the doors, and jogging down the hallways as Marc and Steven reluctantly follow.

Behind the doors, you see flashes from their lives, intertwined and blurry behind the glass.

Behind you, they argue, going back and forth at an increasing volume until they start peeking in doors.

A scream comes from further into the ship. It’s a little boy. You and Steven take off after it, but only you seem to notice how Marc hangs back.

The sound came from a cafeteria, apparently. And at each table, there are posed bodies. Some bloodied, some strangled.

“Just a creepy caff filled with dead bodies,” Steven jokes as his voice shakes. “That’s all it is. No prizes for guessing whose room this is.”

Marc studies the bodies, before he starts naming locations. You know exactly what he’s doing.

“You killed them,” you say. It’s not a question.

“Surely not all of them?” Steven asks.

Marc is still looking at the countless people. “They were criminals. Murderers. Predators. The worst of the worst. Khonshu wanted them punished. It’s what he meant by protecting the travelers of the night.”

A pang of guilt stabs through you. He was killing the guilty. You killed the innocent. In another life, you might have been one of the bodies in this room.

“Marc! Look, the Scales are slowing down. It’s working,” Steven says.

“Okay, all right. So now what? Do you go next?”

Movement catches your eye. The small boy who called out before. But unlike the others, he’s alive.

“Marc, who’s that?” You point to him. The man pales visibly.

“Wait, wait, don’t go near him!” Marc pleads as Steven rushes after the boy, who runs off as quickly as he appeared.

Chasing after them both, you only catch up after Steven has entered a memory, with Marc banging on the locked door.

You start looking for other entrances when you see it.

All of Marc and Steven’s doors are white. They match the hospital and are denoted with a small crescent moon on the door handle. This one is made of dark, heavy metal. And you’d recognize that red insignia anywhere.

This is your door.

You don’t even bother looking in it. You see your worst memories every night, so why would you want to watch them again?

Turning back to Marc, you ignore the door completely.

“Let’s look for another way in, yes?”

You both race down the halls, peering in each door for Steven. However, the further you go, the more of your doors appear.

Marc can only catch glimpses of what’s inside. Red lights, gunfire, sharp commands in Russian. And lots of screaming.

He’s trying to push the sounds from that cave out of his head, but all he can hear is water. So much water.

When he opens his eyes, you’re staring into one of his doors. With a tentative press on the handle, it swings open.

The scene is a funeral. There’s no mistaking that. Two parents sit together, and a picture of a young boy is surrounded by flowers.

It all pieces together.

“Your brother,” you whisper. “He died.”

Steven nods from the staircase, soaked in rain and the memories of what he just saw.

“I want my RoRo back,” the mother says, voice hoarse. “I want him back.”

Light steps on the stairs reveal a younger Marc, eyes wide and teary. And you know exactly how this is going to go. Not that it makes it easier to watch.

You close your eyes as she blames the child, screaming as the family tries to calm her down. The boy races back up the stairs, and Steven follows with Marc not far behind.

You’re stuck in place, breath heaving as the mother, Wendy, sobs uncontrollably. Then you blink.

And you’re back in hell.

———————————————————————

Steven and Marc chase each other through more scenes of Marc’s childhood, through birthdays, and arguments, and when he eventually left that hell of a home and never looked back.

But when he tackles Steven, they land in a memory that isn’t theirs.

They see a little girl holding a gun. It’s clearly too large for her hands, given the way that her middle finger rests on the trigger rather than her index finger, but she aims it steadily.

She’s aiming at a man tied to a chair, bag over his head. Steven and Marc barely have time to look away before she shoots.

She doesn’t miss. You never miss.

The girl hands off the gun to a trainer, who nods in approval. As people come to clean the room and dispose of the body, she exits, the two alters following.

They both know it’s you. Neither of them want to say it.

The next room they enter, the girl is a bit older, maybe preteen.

An angry man with glasses looms over her while a woman stands in the corner.

“You failed the Red Room. We’ve put all this effort into making you perfect, and you can’t even finish a mission!” His hand flies out, striking her as Marc’s vision blurs. The sight is all too familiar.

“You… will be punished for your little ‘slip up’. Then, you’ll go back and clean up your mess. No witnesses can be left alive.”

The girl speaks in a way that seems detached. Cold, analytical. “But the witnesses aren’t-“

Another blow lands.

“Don’t speak out of line.”

The woman finally pipes up, her voice cold. “I believe she should go through her graduation ceremony. It will provide… motivation for the next mission.”

Apparently, there’s more to the ceremony than Marc or Steven know, because the little girl’s eyes go wide, and she finally shows emotion.

“No! No, please don’t make me! I’ll never fail you again, Dreykov, just don’t make me-“

He waves a hand. “Take her to the medical wing.”

The scream that the child in front of them lets out is guttural, and she pleads as she’s dragged fighting all the way to the door.

For a moment, she breaks from their grasp and falls begging at the man’s feet. It’s all breathless words and choked breaths.

Dreykov doesn’t even bat an eye. Not when the girl starts sobbing, not when the guards grab her again.

“We shouldn’t be watching this,” Steven says. “These aren’t our memories.”

Marc shakes his head, opening the next door. “We have to find (Y/N), and she’s probably in one of these.”

It reveals another hallway, but not one from the ship. A closed door beside them is marked as having a surgery in process. A hysterectomy. And from the sounds inside, you were both awake and without any form of sedative.

“No…” Steven says. Trying to block out the screaming and crying he can hear, muffled by the heavy door. “They didn’t…”

Marc nods. “I did some research on the Red Room a while back. They would… sterilize the agents for max efficiency.”

“Marc, we need to leave!” the British man exclaims. “These are very personal, traumatic memories that we’re sifting through, we don’t have the right to do this. You didn’t even want me seeing yours, and now you’re okay with looking at (Y/N)’s?”

The other man sighs. “How do we know she’s not digging around ours right now?” The two head for the next door, flinging it open. “For all we know, she’s watching what I didn’t want you to see right now-“

They stop in their tracks for two reasons.

Firstly, there’s a past version of you in the middle of the room, panting heavily. On the ground are 19 dead bodies. All young girls. You’re covered in blood.

Secondly, you’re here. Not just past you, but actual you. You’re perfectly still, watching the scene with an unreadable look on your face.

“(Y/N)?, what is this?”

You whip around at the sound of Steven’s voice. Only then, in the dim red lighting, do they see the tear tracks running down your face. You wipe them away.

“I got lost,” you whisper, voice soft. Your eyes keep flitting back to the bodies littering the floor.

You swallow down the lump in your throat. “I was with you guys, then I blinked, and-“ A silent sob tears its way out of your chest. “-and I was here again.”

Marc and Steven can’t help the way their chests ache at your voice. Not confident or even sarcastic. Just scared.

The former surveys the memory frozen in time. The same man from the earlier memory, Dreykov, stands with another woman.

“What happened here?” he asks, attempting to get your eyes off of the floor.

You wipe your eyes again. “That man, Dreykov. He’s the head of the Red Room. And Melina-“ You point to the woman next to him. “That’s Natasha and Yelena’s mom.”

“After Natasha escaped, they started working on a chemical that would allow Dreykov to control every aspect of his Widows. My group was the first successful run.”

Steven keeps his eyes averted from the bodies. “So why are they all dead?”

“Girls are sorted into groups of twenty when they’re trained to be Widows. Only one survives.”

You stare down at the bodies of your friends, almost your sisters, battered and bloody at your hands.

“I killed them all. I didn’t even hesitate. It was me or them, and I-“ Before you can start spiraling again, you are suddenly wrapped up in two sets of arms.

Letting yourself relax into the group hug, you exhale a heavy breath. Being completely enveloped also has the added bonus of hiding the scenery around you.

“It wasn’t-“

You cut Steven off. “Don’t tell me that it wasn’t me. It doesn’t change the fact that I did it.”

His voice is muffled in your hair. “That’s not what I was gonna say.” It was definitely what he was gonna say, but he quickly changes his plan. “But this, you’ve already lived through all of this. You’ve grown, and now you’re an Avenger. Hell, you charged right in to help us and now you’re dead too.”

“Speaking of which-“ Marc pipes up. “You don’t seem very concerned about being dead.

As they guide you out of the room and back into the ship's hallway, you sigh in relief. Your shoulders visibly relax, and the darkness clouding your eyes relents the tiniest bit.

You offer a smile that’s still a little sad, but a smile nonetheless.

“Oh, please. One of my best friends is a multiversal being that can rewrite reality on a whim. I wasn’t that worried about being dead for a little while,” you joke.

The three of you walk down the hallway until a door that isn’t yours appears. It shows the desert at night, with a similar body count to yours sprawled in the sand.

But there’s another figure. Marc. Dragging himself toward a temple. A thick trail of blood coats the sand.

“Oh, great,” Steven quips. “More dead people.”

Marc’s eyes don’t leave where he’s crawling on the ground. The amount of blood loss is astonishing, really.

“Taweret said you have to tell each other the truth, right?” you ask. “This is part of that.”

Marc steels his nerves before sharply nodding. They just saw some of your worst memories; it only feels right to reveal some of his own.

With a shaky hand, he opens the door.

[echantedtoon]

Adaman x Fem! Reader

(Hey everyone. I just wanted to thank everyone who read this far and liked my story enough to read it to it's end. I had a lot of fun writing it and it makes me happy knowing some people loved it enough to read it fully. If you liked this consider checking out my other works. Thanks to everyone for reading this, adding it, or leaving a nice comment. And thank you to Nintendo for creating such wonderful characters for us all.)

That work needed finishing. It was the only reason he got himself to get out of the arceus forsaken bed he was comfortable in. He felt terrible, like he couldn't keep anything in his stomach, everything was too hot, too dizzy. Too.....Sickly. By Arceus was he sick!?...He shook that off rather quickly. Didn't matter. Work was needed. Work was the thing driving the car today and if he crashed off the road of sanity so be it. He might've already been losing it anyways with how much he was coughing and how sore his throat felt. He might as well been one of the walking dead as his body spun between heavy and lightheaded with how he looked. Wheezes and coughs were what came out of him and the only language he spoke right now was lack of no sleep and 'I need coffee'-nese, and he didn't even LIKE coffee. He winced as his sore throat throbbed and suppressed the urge to cough as it would only hurt more. Darnit he just had to get to the dam kitchen area. He KNEW he should've stayed in bed that day...but he was so close to being done. He knew if he just got enough caffiene he'd be able to make one more day and finish. He tensed in pain from his chest as he coughed a little, face scrunched up. He LOATHED being sick Hated anyone around him being sick....Speaking of which where the heck was everyone? It was unusually quiet for their camp sight \ in the middle of the day. He sniffled again, slumped footsteps echoing out the entire empty place as his runny nose got the the better of him.

Wow...He really did have a cold didn't he?

"ACHOO- ow." The body of the man shook as the sounds of a sneeze echoed through the entire place and if it weren't for his hand quickly latching onto a doorway he was passing, he would've suffered more than just stumbling and landing into the wall...he let out a whimper from his sore throat and head that the sneeze made throb. He scowled. Whatever. If everyone was out doing something he couldn't care less. Right now he had more important things to attend to, like getting his butt awake and figuring out if he wanted to dunk his head in cold water or just see how that Jubilife coffee worked out for him. Another sneeze wracked his body resulted in more scratchy voiced whimpers and mumbles as he walked his way somehow back into his tent with his blurry vision and spinning head. The cold floor sent a shiver down his swaying form- "ACHOO!!" He stumbled and threw his hands out thankfully grabbing onto a shelf, gradually pulling himself along towards the upper cabinets. He reached up a hand and felt around for any spare cups of theirs lying around. Sniffling as he did light headed. Eventually his hand wrapped around a simple white mug and he was able to easier reach it with his slumped body against the counter. ".......ACHOO!!" He shook his head and sniffled. Man he hated having a cold-

"Adaman-"

A glass shattering rang from the sink as porcelain mug pieces scattered about on the floor. Feet stumbled and at long last he was too slow to reach for the counter instead tumbling to the floor with a thud and sore heap as he laid there...Head spinning. Whimpering. Body sore...and only a cough escaped the sore throat causing more whimpers and sniffles. Footsteps approached but he could only weakly shake. Great Sinnoh! He felt like almost crying-

"AH!! DONT TOUCH DONT TOUCH!! ACHOO!!" He rasped out in a croaky voice that sounded like he was smoking for fifty years as a white flash of pain passed over when two hands grabbed his side out of nowhere all of a sudden, his head slumping as the headache throbbed again from another sneeze.

"What's wrong with you!? Are you ok!?," a voice sounded above him and he winced from the loud volume. "ANSWER ME YOU " Her answer? Another loud sneeze making him whimper and curl in on himself on himself even more and she leaned back a bit before groaning. "Of all the things you can get yourself into you get yourself sick?!"

Hey. That voice sounded familiar. He turned his head slightly up and his vision was too blurry to make out who it was but he had a good idea of who it was. ".....Y-Y/n?"

"Yeah, it's me." She groaned shaking her head. "the one time I stay behind and I find you sick."

"Is not my f-f-fa- AHCOO!" She quickly leaned away as he coughed and sniffled again from the sneeze. "F-Fault..*sniff*...W-Where is everyone?"

She made a cringe face and stared down at his weak form. "They left already. Y'know for the harvest? Did you forget?"

"M-Must've s-slipped my mind. I-...I-I-AHCHOO!!" He whimpered again and curled in on himself until he was in a pained ball. ".....I hurt...."

Her whole demeanor immediately softened as she watched him wriggled on the ground clutching his stomach as he did sniffling. Her hands coming to hover over his body but not touching him due to his past reaction. "Are you ok?!..Can you get up?"

"ACHOO!!....*sniff*" He gave a small hopeful nod to her as the swimming/light headed/spinning feeling intensified and forced him to close his eyes as tears brought him up to the for front. He couldn't act like a wimp in front of her. So whimpers aside he began to push himself up, stumbling and leaning more and more against the counter as his arms shook fumbling around for purchase against the cold floor. A worried and annoyed feeling coming over himself as Jirou didn't move from her spot, as if afraid he'd fall over- "ACHOO!!" His chest let a large pang of pain as he started coughing up again- "AH-" His legs gave out as he doubled over, in a bent over position, one hand gripping the shelf and the other covering his mouth as the coughs kept coming and his body lit ablaze with hellfire! He couldn't stop! It was too much! Dear Almighty Sinnoh make it stop! Black clouded in-

"ADAMAN!"

......

...........

......................Well THAT could've gone better.

In panic, she did the only she could've done at that moment. Go get help! Luckily help hadn't been too far away and was quick to get Adaman's unconscious form to the clan healer quickly and find out what was really wrong with him. He was sick and exhausted with a fever and runny nose. Well it was a relief to her at least, and not too long after the man was carried back into his tent and half woke up enough to blow his nose and take whatever medicine was given to him before clonking out again. While relieved, she was still worried so decided to stick around. Not like she had any plans for the holidays anyways. Which turned into her just reading and checking on him every few minutes...which became every one minute for the past hour still finding him fast asleep under the blankets where they left him. ......He looked cold. She'll go get a blanket after a lil bit....Which in reality was five minutes. Hesitant steps came down the hallway back down towards the bedroom. A blanket resting under one arm. The footsteps soon stopped in front of one door on the right and the boy paused. It took a moment before he was able to reach a hand up to knock on the door.

"Adaman?", a voice forced out almost a whisper. No one answered so she knocked again a bit louder. Just to see if he had woken up while she was away ...Still nothing. So she gently grabbed ahold of the door knob and turned. "Adaman? I-I brought an extra blanket-....Oh."

The dark room made it hard to see but she could make out the sleeping figure over in the corner. His chest rose and fell slowly in his sleep and a smile was present on his sleeping face. She hesitated for a moment, but decided it was best to keep her silent promise of getting him the extra blanket. So slowly stepping in, she gently closed the door behind her with a soft click- She froze when he made a groaning noise but he didn't wake up, only buried his head halfway under the blanket. She sighed in relief before silently walking up to the bed, taking the blanket in both hands she flung it out. Then over the bed in the air. It gently floated down until it draped over his sleeping form. She stared down at the sleeping form of her friend for a moment, before gently smoothing the wrinkles out from the covers-

".....Y/n?"

She froze. .....Slowly her eyes shifted up towards the bedframe. A pair of eyes blinked back up sleepily at her, wild blue and light tan bed head around his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh. I..Uh-" She quickly pulled himself away from the bed embarrassed and cleared her throat. Finger twirling around one of her locks of hair. "I-I-I was just delivering t-the blanket cuz you're sick and I t-thought i-it might help. *ahem* ....I-Im sorry if I woke you."

he blinked at her for a moment, before shifting his eyes down to his body. Indeed a new blanket was over his. He then looked back to her with a smile that made her heart skip a beat.

"It's ok. I don't mind. S-Sorry I fell b-b-back there...Must've been e-embarrassing."

"I- uh-.....N-NO! Of course not. You w-were just sick. It happens." Sinnoh she could feel her cheeks growing more pink by the second. His patient eyes and smile always seemed to make her forgive the doofus faster. Luckily he new exactly what to do- "W-Well I-I-Ill let you get back to sleep-" She froze when something grabbed her hand. She soon found out what when Adaman, now slightly sitting up in bed pulled her back a little more.

"Um- Hey. W-Would you mind if we-..." His eyes shifted to the side. Wait. Did he sound nervous? "Cu-.. Cuddle? Y-Y'know. J-Just as friends! I-Im s-still pretty cold from the fever and I thought- ..."

"Uuuuhh-" Her eyes went back to them still holding hands.

" I-I mean. I-Its ok if y-you don't want to. " he let go of his hand-

"What?! NO NO!" she froze when she regrabbed her hand and looked back into his eyes. He seemed to freeze for a moment himself. "I-....I mean I d-don't mind it. I just...I'm not sure if you would want to."

...he smiled. "Well I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't ok."

"Oh. W-Well...Who am I t-t-to deny a request from you...b-but you better not get me sick?"

He chuckled. "I make n-no promises."

he smiled again, before shifting over to make room for another, patting the spot next to him. She hesitated for a moment but gulped down what worries she had left and slowly lifted the blankets, before climbing in. He sat there for a moment un sure, but his face lit up like a million stars when he felt her reassuringly huddle up against his side. He swallowed, hard, before allowing himself to lay back and lay a shaking arm around her. In response she shifted to lay into him more and sighed in comfort.

".....ACHOO!!"

"DANGIT ADAMAN!!"

[mishwanders]

HEYYYY THEREE, first of all blog on fire like actually I LOVE IT! Second idk if u takin request or not, if u arent ingnore this and srry! If u are, can i request a hispanic reader with anyone in the chain cause uhhh i havent seen at ALL a hispanic reader I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD DAYY OR NIGHTT, U ARE AMAZING DONT U FORGET THAT ❤

Hi nonnie! Thank you! Also, I guess I’m taking requests again now? I haven’t like formally put anything out, but @skyward-shade been sending me some good ideas, and I couldn’t resist writing them 😂

As for this one - yes! I can! I will preface though that I am not Hispanic, but have grown up around Latin culture/family, so I can do my best with what I know!

Characters: The Chain x GN! Hispanic Reader

A/N+Warnings: N/A, safe for everyone. Written by Mishwanders - pls do not repost.

If you speak Spanish (or where I’m from, Spanglish), I feel like the number one person who would love to learn would be Time. He’s a Link, he’s curious about all things, but in my mind, he loves to learn different languages. I feel like he’s can learn more easily orally versus actually trying to read something on paper. So if you ever get the chance - teach him a few words or phrases - if anything heel keep absorbing it until he’s able to hold a full on conversation with you in your language!

If you don’t speak Spanish - that’s okay too! Learning anything about your culture and your family traditions no matter how varied they may be would make any of them happy because it makes them feel closer you.

Do you have a favorite food?! Wild wants to know - he wants to make it for you! He’ll try his best with the ingredients he has in Hyrule, but if he ever gets the chance to meet your family, he’s definitely finding his way for he kitchen to watch whoever is cooking work their magic and learn (he will most likely be leaving with a new pack of spices in his bag if your family is anything like my in-laws and love to share lol). Honestly he will probably always be dragged that direction or to the grill during family gatherings/parties because he loves to cook so much lol.

Speaking of parties - YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME THAT TWILIGHT WOULD NOT BE THE BEST DANCE PARTNER (2nd would be Time, 3rd would be Warriors)! So much that I’m afraid the aunties might attempt to steal him away to keep the party going lol.

I also think Warriors and Sky would be the best ones to have apart of a quinceañera - respectful, could easily follow along with the traditions and would definitely ensure that nothing goes wrong for such a special day! Honestly I can see all of them becoming “the protection chain”, the security - they will be giving the princess Zelda treatment lol.

Did you grow up a bit more superstitious or with ghost stories? I can definitely see them following along if you tell them about it, even if its much different than what they’re used to (like the mal de ojo huevo treatment - someone please do that for Wild, he out of all of them needs that done). As for ghost stories, campfire will be the perfect place to tell them! But be warned, you might have a Link (or a few) in your bed roll - especially if you tell Wind about La Llorona and y’all are camping near a river. Poor guy will need some comfort (an maybe Hyrule too).

Grow up more religious/spiritual? I can definitely see them finding interest in it, no matter the deity/god/goddess/saint/revered figure you bring up - again, they want to know more about you and what you’ve grown up with, plus they have the goddesses, Hylia, Fierce Deity - they would all find it nice to learn about the ones you might have been associated with all of your life too! If you have a rosary or some other religious item you like to carry on your person that might get broken via fight with moblin or wear and tear - can definitely see Four making you a brand new one! He may even get Sky in on it to help him whittle some wooden pieces into it!

Did you grow up with traditional medicine/home remedies (even mixed with modern medicine)? Hyrule is your guy! If there’s something you need (especially if you get sick on the road) he’ll go get it/make it/find a Hylian equivalent of it! However, if you grew up with Vicks (aka Vapour according to my mil) for everything, I would be careful with him and that. I’m afraid the smell alone might knock him out the first time he opens a jar of that.

Have you told them about la chanlca? Time would be the biggest user of that - not against his brothers in arms - no, Ingo would be the victim of la chancla. Hey, that may even be the thing that keeps him away for good.

Music? Have a favorite song or play an instrument? Oooohhh buddy Legend and Time have an arsenal of those and would LOVE to hear you sing/play it! Also, since Time easily learns through listening, I can see him learning your favorite song to play/duet with you (maybe even sing you to sleep with it)!

[onskepa]

Hello Halo Hello! I have returned bleh, bleh bleh! I saw a sequel request things is open and I've been thinking. Can I request a part 2 of the one shot Vopey? Where the Sully's react to stranger things? Only in this one, Jake, neytiri, Tonowari, ronal and the Metakiyan kids join in on the reaction too? Like the kids are just about to start up season 2 and the rest are curious about it.

If that's okay of course!

Hello cutie <3

I see where you are going with the idea. Hope this is to yours and everyone's satisfaction! Enjoy!

Also big ass help from my good friend @corhyeline helping me with this!

Vopey

---------------------------------

Vopey: Far away monsters

“Alright kids, time to come home” Jake calls out to his kids just as vopey was about to insert the season 2 disc of stranger things. 

There was a collective choir of disappointed sounds. Followed by many begings from the kids, desiring to watch more of their new interest. 

“Come on, its getting late and tomorrow we have to wake up extra early” Jake tries to reason with his kids. Only for another wave of moans and groans. 

“Why? What is going to happen tomorrow?” Vopey asks. 

“Skxaw’nung and his family are coming tomorrow. They are staying with us for a few weeks” Lo’ak says. His whole body lying down on the floor as his way of protest. 

“That means we won't be able to watch season 2 for a looooooong time” Spider comments, sounding disappointed. This caught Jake's interest. “Season 2? What were you all watching?” he asks. 

“Stranger things” All of them said in unison. 

Oh how a wave of memories and nostalgia hit him like a pack of bricks. 

“Stranger things? Damn, I remember watching it for the first time. I was about tuk’s age” Jake remenices back on his childhood. Quickly all the kids huddled around him, surprised and curious wanting to know more. 

“Did you watch the whole thing?” Kiri asks, eager to know more of her new favorite subject. 

Jake scratches his head, trying to remember, “last I watched was season 4 I think, I could be wrong. It has been such a long time, I barely remember some things”. But in his mind it clicked, he knew what the kids were trying to do. With a playful smirk, he says “But that is for some other time. The longer I talk, the more I stall and the more late you will be in bed. Come on”. 

The kids gave, telling spider and vopey good night as they all left to their home back at the village. 

“You think the metkayina kids will like the show?” Spider asks as he and vopey clean up the place. Vopey hums at the thought. 

“I should be the one asking you that since you know a bit more about them than me” Vopey replies as she stacks up the pillows. 

They continue to clean up before bed. Thinking about how it will be when the reef na’vi arrive. Would they be allowed to be near the sully kids? Or stay away? It would be nice to invite them and show them some cool things they dont know about. 

“And these are our friends, Spider and Vopey” Neteyam introduced to the metkayina kids. Tsireya looked to be more excited, seeing spider again and seeing a new face. Ao’nung was more hesitant, he barely tolerated spider back at his home. And meeting another sky demon was annoying. Roxto on the other hand was just as excited as trsireya, 

“Hello, it is so nice to meet you!” Tsireya speaks to vopey in loud, slow ,broken english. This made vopey blink a few times. 

“Don't torture yourself, I can speak na’vi just fine” Vopey replies in perfect fluent na’vi like it was her first language. Which in a way, it is. 

“Oh” Was all tsireya said. Her ears lowered down a bir and her tail stopped moving. Feeling a bit sad. It didn't go unnoticed by vopey. Immediately feeling guilty, she adds, “It is ok, I thought it would be easier for you if we spoke in your mother tongue”. 

It made tsireya ease up more. 

Spider and vopey join the sully kids as they take the reef kids around their forest. Showing them the plants, animals, and areas they often visit. 

“And that is pretty much it, from the east to the west, and from north to south. Any questions?” Lo’ak says as he and the others finished touring the reef kids around. There was a lot to show and no shortage of activities to do. 

“Yeah, what do you demons do for fun?” Ao’nung asks a bit snarky. His sister and friend tries to shush him. The sully kids were ready to defend their friends should any insult come out of ao’nung’s mouth. 

Spider and vopey looked at each other and muttered some stuff in english. The sully kids placed their input in English as well. The metkayina kids who do not understand much are left confused and hate being left out. 

“Hey, you can speak in na’vi! What are you saying?” Ao’nung asks/demands. Both human kids turned to him and grinned. 

“Well, on days that are not suitable for adventure like rainy or cold days, the sully kids and us stay inside the human base to watch human entertainment” Spider explains. This caught Tsireya’s and Rotxo’s interest. 

“What kind of entertainment?” Rotxo asked. This made spider and vopey grin. 

“No” Ronal said sternly. All of the children groaned in misery. The metkayina children asked if they could partake in human entertainment activities only to be shut down immediately. Even with Spider and vopey explaining what it will be, still shut down. Ronal was glaring at the two with no hate but certainly not taking a good liking to them. 

“We have come to make ties with the Omatikaya, not with sky demons” Ronal states as she slightly glares at the two humans. While ao’nung was settled with her response, rotxo and tsireya were not. 

“Please sa’nok? These sky people are part of omatikaya. See? The way they are dressed is identical to the na’vi here” Tsireya pleads. Before ronal can respond, Jake beat her to it as he walks up to the group. 

“Much to your dismay Tsahik Ronal, these two sky people are part of the omatikaya clan. As they were born and raised in the clan” Jake informs the metkayina tsahik. Mo’at and neytiri who were beside him confirmed his statement. 

Tonowari soon joins his wife as he takes in the information. 

Vopey then quickly flashes them a smile, “Tsahik ronal, if I may. Despite the terrible experiences and stories you have heard of sky people, me, spider and the others that live here are not evil. Yes many were evil and cruel. But I assure you we see this world as our home. Allow us to show you the type of entertainment we have. Nothing will hurt you I assure you”. 

Tonowari and ronal were thinking it over in their silent conversation. Their children secretly hoping they would say yes. 

“Very well”. 

To give everyone a seat to see the stranger things show, a movie night took place outside. Using one of the massive caves to fit everyone, the kids and science guys were quick to set up the massive screen, speakers and the projector. 

Ronal, Tonorwari, and everyone else had the best seat in the caves as the rest of the clan got settled. 

Jake and Neytiri snuggled with each other as they got comfortable near their kids. The sully kids themselves having a body pile with snacks around, and the metkayina kids being in the center of the body pile. 

“So we just sit and watch a white sheet?” Rotxo asks, a bit confused. Kiri chuckles lowly and replies, “You could say that. It is what we will see on the white sheet that will be fun”. 

Norm prepares the dvd player and presses play. Letting the projector display bright colors as sounds echo around the cave giving it a surround sound effect. 

"8?!" All the kids shouted in unison as a new character enters the screen. The power of illusions and running from the police was a perfect way to capture everyone's attention.

"I knew there were more! I knew it!" lo'ak grins happy as he now knows his small theory was confirmed.

"Screw vopey, you should be called Vol '' spider suggests playfully. Vopey cackels and shakes her head, "no it doesn't hit the same". 

"Madmax? Who is that turd?" Tuk asks when her favorite character, dustin, lost his record some someone else at the arcade.

"Language tuk '' Neytiri gently scolds, as she too is invested in the new show. "Who is madmax?" Neytiri asks quietly to jake. He leans closer to her ear, “long story” Jake answered. 

“Damn I bet I would love to play one of those arcade games” lo’ak says woefully. It looked a lot of fun as the kids play different kinds of games and so do the background characters, Spider pats his back in comfort, sharing the same sentiment. “Same here bro, same here”. 

Tonowari was still a little confused but oddly enjoys seeing how human children were like. Free of doing what they like, not thinking twice and seems as they are siblings at arms. Was oddly cute in his mind. 

Ronal on the other hand was still trying to comprehend that is what humans were like a long time ago. The style of clothing, language, the behavior, so vastly different then what she remembered. 

“Im betting on lucas” kiri says, “Dustin, right tuk?” rotxo says, tuk nodding rapidly. “Let the shipping war begin” Vopey whispers to tsireya as they giggle. Neteyam however made a face of discomfort, “Billy doesn't seem to be a good brother however” he comments. And while ao’nung so far hasnt voiced his opinions, he secretly agrees with neteyam,

“That Joy woman, she is amusing somewhat” Ronal comments, neytiri took notice of that. “Indeed, a protective mother she is” she adds. 

From what Jake notices, both his mate and ronal seem to be more attached to older characters who are parents as well. And Jake is no different, he can see himself a bit in Jim Hopper. Perhaps as more episodes go on, things will get more interesting. 

“Will you big ass simp!” Ao’nung groaned but was quickly shushed by his friends. Tonowari heard him and blinked a few times, was his son learning how to speak like the sky people? That could be a problem, but that is a problem for later. 

“So he can somehow connect to another world?” Ronal asks. The more scenes of will having flashes of the upside down world, the more she is curious of the darker side. It was a whole new concept, how can one world function alongside another? It was so strange and unheard of. 

“I don't like that demon” Tonowari speaks his thoughts as Dr. Owens made a few appearances. Jake chuckled, “There will be many that you might not like”.

On screen when the four main boys appeared in the ghostbusters costumes, Jake felt an immense hit of nostalgia. There were so many references in the show, memories just keep coming back to him. And tuk can't help but love the costumes. 

“They look so cute~!” she squeals. Bobbing her head to the classic theme song and muttering a bit of the lyrics. Tsireya can't help but laugh at how silly the boys looked. In her mind she imagines lo’ak, ao’nung, neteyam and rotxo wearing those similar outfits. It was a funny thought. 

“What has got you laughing?” Lo’ak asks, a giggle escapes tsireya’s lips. “Oh nothing, just had a funny idea” she answers with an honest smile. 

Neytiri was brought back to her time at the school she attended. Remembering the time when Grace explained the holidays from Earth, one of them she liked was halloween. To see the boys and the overall environment of people decorating and seeing how it really is like. It became her new favorite scenes.

“Uggghhh how much more kid drama do we have to see?” Spider groans, lo’ak and ao’nung agree. “I want to see the monsters” Ao’nung says, almost in a whiney manner. Kiri shushed them again, slightly glaring at the boys, “come on guys, you will see them”. 

“What was that?” Tonowari asks as Will's drawing of a monster was shown. It spooked him a bit. While the drawing was black, it gave a creepy aura and the mood music didn't help it. 

Ronal however was more annoyed when Billy tried to run over the four boys and screaming at the top of his lungs. “Has he lost his mind?” Ronal says, mostly to herself. Billy’s behavior was now more familiar to her version of how humans behave. 

Tuk had a small frown, “poor max, having to deal with an idiot like him”. Neteyam rubs her small back, “I am sure it will get better”. He won't say it, but Billy is someone he wishes he will never be like. A young adult acting like some lunatic with what seems like murder in his mind. A terrifying combination.

“Now we are getting somewhere” Lo’ak says, grunting. Hopper was connecting the dots of the odd drawing with the VHS recording of Will staring into the sky with an odd outline of the same monster. Tsireya was shocked and soaking in the new revelation. 

“Is he also connected to the other world?” She asks, getting more excited, “it seems like it with his moments being frequent” Lo’ak answers. “It would make sense since he stayed in that world for a bit didnt he?” Neteyam adds in. 

A little theory was beginning to form with ideas and remembering certain moments from season 1. But later on, a collective gasp was heard when Dustin puts a small creature into his turtle tank. 

“That motherf-” 

“Tuk” 

“Sorry” 

Vopey and the others were freaking out in silence, “Wait wait! Its not a poliwog, it's a bit different” she points out. “What is a poliwog?” rotxo asks, “watch” was all he got. 

“Either way, he is an idiot. What if it gets bigger and tries to eat him?” Spider says, feeling more and more annoyed of Dustin making one dumb choice after another. “And look, he brought it to the others. He is either going to die or become brain dead”. 

Tuk heard spider and silently protested that her favorite character won't.

Once dart grew his legs, a few were ready to gag at the horrid display. “What is that thing?!” Ronal shouts, feeling utter disgust by the new form of the small thing. It was a horror in her eyes, and to know it was only a baby, she can only imagine what its final form would be like. 

Kiri was paying close attention to the new episode will was having. The sky being wider, and the shadow monster doesn't look all that far from where Will is at.``It looks like it is daunting him. Or almost as if it wants Will to see it..” she mutters. 

When the monster inserted a piece of itself into Will’s mouth, dread followed. “Oh no! What is it doing to him!?” tsireya shouts, hiding her face on lo’ak’s chest, not wanting to see the rest of the scene. 

Ronal does the same, feeling sorry for the young boy. Tonowari felt scared. Such a massive thing, and the poor boy has no chance to run away. “Hasn't he been through enough?”

“Ooooooohh he is so dead” Spider teases, the reveal of the tank bring broken from most likely dart. “That thing is growing without stopping” Vopey adds. “Not the kitty-AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!” Tuk screams when dart shrieks while expanding its head. “A baby demigorgon?!” Vopey shouts rather excitedly. 

“Such a horrid thing!” Tonorwari glares in disgust. Yet also relieved he doesn't share a planet with that thing. 

“I find it intriguing,” Neytiri comments, admiring the little thing. Which Jake turns to her, questioning what she views as cute. “It ate an innocent animal” he says, neytiri shrugs, “it is an animal itself no?”

“Will is either possessed or part of a hive mind” Tsireya theorizes. Took a moment of silence, everyone including herself were surprised that she concluded something like that. She carries on, “think about it, he hates the heat, prefers the cold. Explains of odd memories that don't belong to him. And he is walking around chest naked. It makes sense to me”. 

Lo’ak whistles out impressed, which tsireya blushes a bit. “You are catching on very quick tsireya” Vopey compliments. 

As it goes on. Hopper and joy piece together the odd drawings Will made. And tsireya quickly catched on. “They are underground, the roots. It is what is causing the plants to rot in an awful way. Will is telling them the answer!” Tsireya explains. Clapping her hands, understanding more of the situation. 

“Nah, what if it is part of something else?” Ao’nung was quick to deny his sisters expanding theory. 

“I dunno ao’nung, look '' Spider points to the screen where hopper was digging a big hole, discovering some gross goo and a tunnel underground. Lo’ak gave tsireya a high five/four as her guess was correct. 

“Well he is dead” Ao’nung says deadpanned, looking at hopper being tied by the wines of the upside down world. But his statement didnt land very well when Will and others went to rescue hopper from his near death experience. 

The scene continues when the Hawkins yellow jackets burning the vines but at the same time Will began to shake and feel the burning pain. “I knew it!” Tsireya squeals. Good she was right, but bad because she is witnessing the poor boy’s pain.

“Weird how I am hating him less and less” Kiri comments as she sees Dustin and Steve bond while throwing meat in a train track to look for dart. “It is call character development, some people go through it, and others dont” Lo’ak grins knowing the subtle message he meant to ao’nung. 

“Yeah yeah shush I’m taking notes' ' spider interrupts lo’ak as he writes down steve’s secret to his hair being L’oreal quality. 

As the scene goes on, kiri can't help but grin, “sorry rotxo, but it seems lucas is winning” she whispers a bit smugly. “Anything can happen, it is not confirmed yet” Rotxo hold out hope for his new favorite character. 

“Whatever you say,” Kiri shrugs. 

As the show proceeds, tsireya grins non stop, “I was correct! Again!”. Owns explains Will's connection to the creature and other organisms of the upside down world. The pain they feel, the child feels it too. 

“I swear! You catch on so quickly!” Spider says, not in a mean way, but in an amazed way. “Maybe we should show you other things tsireya” Vopey says. 

"YEAAAAHH!" The sully and human kids all cheered as eight and eleven showed on screen together. "I almost forgotten about her" Tuk says, vopey nodding in agreement.

Vopey, kiri, tsireya and tuk were leaning forward. Unknowns to them, so was ronal and neytiri. All of them paying extra attention to the sisterly themed episode.

“They are most likely going to work together” Tsireya silent shrieks, her tail swaying while not meaning to but was hitting lo’ak in the face. 

“Oh no doubt” Vopey replies, her eyes never leaving the screen 

Jake couldnt help but chuckle as Neytiri was also doing a similar manner. Hey eyes wide and tail moving. It was a cute site he doesnt get to see so often. 

Tonowari huffed in an amusing way, while Ronal’s tail isn't moving, her ears definitely were, giving away how invested she was. 

“I can't look '' Ronal hides behind tonowari after seeing the bloodshed the now called demidogs are creating. Death left and right from the creatures Ronal has come to hate. And Tonowari, who had come to favor Bob, was distraught to see his death come so soon. 

The creature's shredding and killing bob was an unholy sight for their eyes. Sadness was all they felt. Sorry for the poor man who was innocent and finding love. 

“He might-” 

“Tsireya, you know we love you but ssssshhh, because at this point, anything you say comes true” Ao’nung kindly shuts his sister up. Lo’ak scratched the back of his neck, not really defending nor denying the truth. 

Pouting, tsireya stays silent as she watches the rest of the episode

The last episode. Everyone was getting anxious, the final battle between the massive monsters and the humans. Who else will die? Who will live? Will everything be the same? 

“Who cares about Mike and eleven shipping!! Get over it!” Vopey shouts in anger as the scene dragged on too much for her liking. 

“Screw them, that billy guy needs to DIE” neteyam frowns in disgust as bill was shown flirting with an older woman who was also a mother to one of the main boys. What goes on in bill’s head is beyond him. 

“Huh, madmax is starting to make sense now” Jake mutters as he sees the max girl stand up for herself. 

“Eeeeeewww!!” Tuk feeling grossed out as the misty shadow leaves will’s body and out into the open world. “At least he is free from it, right?” Rotxo asks but no one answers him. All eyes glued to the screen. 

While dustin was saying goodbye to dart, really no one cared as they wished for that monster dead. 

“CLOSE IT!! CLOSE IT!! END IT!!” Everyone was cheering for eleven. Screaming at the top of her lungs, everyone felt what she was feeling. Seeing the gate to the upside down world close. The cheering rising as it intensifies. 

“He looks so cuuuuute!” Tuk gushes as she sees Dustin rocking a new hairstyle. Kiri slammed her hands down, “YES! Rotxo you owe me now!”. The scene of lucas and max kiss made rotxo shed a tear of his debunked shipping. 

“Elven looks so pretty” Vopey admires how feminine the girl looks at the dance. Wearing a pretty dress and styling her hair. But quickly she and tisreya gasped in unison as eleven and mike kissed. Squealing like pre-teens. 

It seemed like it would be a nice happy ending. Ready to close the chapter. But silence was the only sound as everyone saw the last few seconds of the show, The view turning upside down to see the upside down world. And close and above was the giant monster. And the credits rolled in. 

Everyone clapped and began to chatter about their favorite moments. 

Tsireya, ao’nung and roxto were sleeping peacefully in their hammocks, smiles and dreams fill their minds. 

On the bigger shared hammock, Tonowari and Ronal were wide awake. Sleep not reaching their eyes. “It is like Jake Sully said. It is not real, and it is very old. We shouldn't worry about it” Tonowari says to Ronal as a means to comfort her. But also comfort himself. 

Ronal couldn't help but cuddle into his broad chest, wanting to rid the monsters from her memory. “Yes but…they all looked terrifying. And many suffered from those disgusting monsters” Ronal whispers. Tonowari gently kissed her on the forehead and placed his arm over her. “Yes, but those monsters are far away. We are safe, and they are not real”. 

Safe to say, they didnt get a wink of sleep. 

Aaaaaaaand that concludes part 2! Hope you all enjoyed this one. Had to go a bit deeper to understand and implement the important stuff. Until next time! See ya!

-------

Vol = eight

[yjh-titty-belt-licker]

being autistic means i don't know tone well, i dont know how to talk to people. my words always have meanings that i cant read, in a language i was never able to learn, that i may never learn.

i've been told there's such a thing as being "rude". in the dictionary, i'm told it means "offensively impolite", "ill mannered", "abrupt". I don't know what those mean. i know polite means "courteous", which means "showing courtesy", which means being nice to people. i think. the dictionary tells me it means "showing politeness in attitude and behaviour". i don't know what attitude means. mother tells me i have one. but when i say "courtesy" means acting nice to people, i'm told i'm correct, so maybe the dictionary doesn't know everything. maybe this word has meanings that cant be expressed in my language too.

i'm know being polite and being courteous are the same, and i've been told that, but i think "polite" has a secondary meaning i never learned. "polite" is defined as "having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people", being courteous, but it's also defined as "relating to people who regard themselves as more cultured and refined than others". I don't quite know what cultured and refined mean. Cultured should mean knowing culture, but when i share all the things i know, i'm called that allusive word "rude". refined should mean formal, using a fancy vocabulary. mother told me i was smart for my big words, but i lose that intelligence every day. i wonder if i ever was that smart. nowadays i'm called "stuck up", which i'm told means "rude".

abrupt is about timing. it means to be rude. it means "sudden and unexpected" in the dictionary. i never know when i should speak. maybe they never wanted me to speak at all, with my pretentious words. mother says i need to learn to listen better, but they're all speaking in a language i never understood. "body language", they call it, but i always see it as angry. but when i think they're angry they yell at me for daring to think that. i'm sorry mom, i wish i was smart like you said i was.

the dictionary hasn't helped me learn the word "rude". i've seen examples, though, to help me understand. "rude" is like rude words, crass cusses, fuck. "rude" is saying what shouldn't be said. i'm sorry, mommy, i didn't mean to accuse you of being mad, i'm sorry. "rude" is saying sorry too much. but i dont know what else to say to make you feel better. i never learned the language. "rude" correcting. i'm sorry i interrupted you, but i'm really not that smart anymore, see, you can tell i'm not smart because i'm always too abrupt, too uncultured. "rude" is my existence. "rude" is me speaking, trying to connect. i'm sorry. but i still want to be here, even if it's rude. but i'm sorry for being so rude. i try not to be myself nowadays.

or maybe i don't know the definition of rude. i never learned the language allistic people speak in the first place.

[llyfrenfys]

i must admit i know nothing of welsh history or language. im reclaiming learning the irish language bc i know the history of it and bc i think it's essential to protect native languages of various places. but as someone who doesn't know welsh history, i see "its not like welsh people were beaten for speaking it" and i recoil in a sense of distaste. because while i may not know the history, i very much doubt no one ever in the world has been beaten for speaking welsh, that's a pretty huge assumption to make even if a language isn't being legally oppressed (assuming thats what op really meant). but also, i just loathe the idea that only minority languages are worth saving or caring about if they're being beaten out of people. genocide happens in many ways and only some of them are actually active violence/assault, most are subversive, and purposefully so

idk if i should even be speaking on this bc i dont know the history of welsh but i feel like you literally dont need to know the history behind it to see something very wrong with "speakers of a minority language should shut up if they're not actively being killed for it"

Sorry I took so long in getting to this ask (post anon is referring to) but yeah- that post was gobsmacking to me as a Welsh speaker. I've studied language loss and revitalisation and I can name several endangered languages in which children (and adults) were beaten and abused for speaking their native tongue. For example, we covered the Tlingit language in Alaska (one of the few North American languages I've studied) which is subject to a revival- some Tlingit wanted to learn the language, while others (usually older people) had an aversion to the language. One man said that whenever he speaks Tlingit he can taste soap because he was punished as a boy for speaking Tlingit by having a bar of soap put in his mouth. Language loss via abuse is real and prevalent in many, many endangered languages. The audacity to assume Welsh is somehow immune to that was astounding.

But even if Welsh *was* immune to that somehow (it wasn't) you're right in that we should care about the decline of a language even if it doesn't involve overt suppression. More surreptitious kinds of linguistic genocide lie within the state apparatus. For example, when Wales was merged into the Kingdom of England (see: the Laws in Wales Acts 1535 and 1542) the language of the legal system in Wales was changed to English-only, depriving monolingual Welsh speakers (Welsh was spoken in pretty much every part of Wales at this point) of legal services. This meant that Welsh speakers were effectively pressured indirectly to learn English in order to have a chance at any legal services in court. Over time, the privileging of English over Welsh created a pressure to abandon Welsh in favour of English, because there were 'more opportunities' in English than in Welsh.

Similarly, the true Treachery of the Blue Books wasn't that the British Government in 1847 had ordered a review into Welsh schools and found that too many people were speaking Welsh- but that Welsh-speaking parents began to forbid their children from learning Welsh and supported the findings of the inquiry because they too had felt that pressure of English-language supremacy. Believing that there's more opportunities in English than in Welsh. It's an unfortunate legacy and attitude which still persists today- and none of the Commissioners of the Blue Book Inquiry shed any blood in doing so. But the impact was nonetheless dire. It's also a self-creating cycle: There are no opportunities in Welsh -> People learn English instead of Welsh for opportunities -> There's fewer Welsh speakers to create more opportunities in Welsh ->There are no opportunities in Welsh.

But yeah, I have no idea what the OP of that other post was thinking but it was offensively ignorant in any case. I'm glad though that Welsh's struggles are seen by others at least, in this day and age.

[natriae]

WEDDING REVENGE. MIYA ATSUMU

timeskip! Miya Atsumu x Fem! Reader

a/n: This is extremely self indulging with some stuff i've been dealing with lately and i just want comfort

C/W: MINORS DNI, VERY VERY HEAVY, mentions of sh (not in detail) , suicidal thoughts, panic attack, sexualish content, reader is from a country that doesn't speak japanese

You're not mad at Miya Atsumu. You're disappointed that's for sure. Now you have to get on the plane by yourself and try not to break down at this wedding all alone. Always alone, huh. They were right you will always be alone.

You left that place to prove yourself. Prove to them that you could survive the harsh world alone. You would grow and you didn't need them. You left them because it was good for you. But now you're going back. You wanted to come back stronger, and more successful then any of them.

You were successful that's for sure. You had your dream job. Athletic trainer for MSBY in osaka, Japan. You chased your dream and you didn't stop till you made it, but you were alone. You left "home" for a place thousands of miles away right after college. You only knew enough Japanese to get around, but you were determined to learn and live there, but now you are going back. Yes, it was just for a few days but you wished you never had too.

The memories held there were to much to bear. The people you will see, the voices you will hear, and the scents. Not only will you be battling the trauma you experienced but you will have to experience all of the people that were apart of it first hand.

please dont talk to me. please don't notice im there now that im alone.

Atsumu was kind. When he over heard you were going to a wedding ( you never actually said if you were going or not) he had asked if you were going alone. He could see your hesitancy. You repeated once again that you weren't sure if you were going, but if you were you would be alone. "i'll go with ya" He had said with a smile. You never got to say no, but you found comfort in his response. Glad he would be there with you. You wouldn't be alone anymore.

You bought the plane tickets and he sent you money for his. You felt happy that he was gonna go with you. You felt more secure knowing that he was gonna be with you. Someone who was like you. From the few times you guys hung out he accepted you for you. He listened to your interests and never made you feel invisible.

Now it felt like the times you would go home to an empty apartment. That didn't change till recently when every weekend Atsumu would come knocking at your door just to walk in and spend several hours on your couch bothering you.

-----------------------------‐--------------------

The actual service was over and now it was the reception. You saw them. The ones that hurt you. They were still together and they still seemed happy. They had each other. You on the other hand still felt out of touch. Like you weren't welcome here or accepted here.

Walking in to the reception their words from highschool were eating at you. It took so many years to get better. So many years spent grieving. So many years spent telling yourself that you were worth being alive. So many god damn years spent being comfortable by yourself and now all of it came crashing down.

They never had to feel the pain you did and it wasn't fair. Why didn't you just do it all those years ago. The pain would have ended. They would have understood how much pain they caused you. The confidence was gone. You felt like the same weak 16 year old. Nothing has changed.

Little did you know a 6'1 asshole with a slightly better blonde dye job was walking through the door to the resception asking everyone he incountered, in broken (your native language) if they had seen you. Thank god he knew who not to talk too.

One time after work he took you to Onigiri Miya and spent the whole night trying to break you to get you to tell him about your past. Not once did he look away from you as you spoke. It honestly was probably the longest Miya Atsumu has been quiet.

Once he saw you his signature grin appeared on his face and he lifted his hand up in the air and began to wave at you. You couldn't help but smile watching him. He was always so confident. Out of the corner of your eye you could see them watching. They had made a face. They must have been confused to see you with a friend let alone one they have never seen before. He ran over to your table and said "surprise!...are ya okay?". He genuinely seemed worried. That was new. Normally people don't care what you feel. Normally they try and steer the conversation away or not even look at you. Yet once again Miya Atsumu was watching you. Really watching you. "if yer not okay we can get outta 'ere"

"i'm okay. I promise," You faked a smile at him.

"okay stop sittin and lets dance," His grin appeared on his face again and he grabbed your hand. Somehow he walked to the dance floor like he's been here all night. Like he knew everyone here and was ready to have a good time.

What they say about him was true. He knew exactly how to stop time and make you feel like the most important person in the world. It was so god damn hard. How easily he was able to breakdown your walls, and have you fall into his arms at any given moment. The last thing you wanted was for all of this to be a joke. For him to just to be pretending so you give him attention and then leave you and have you question if you ever really knew him. Because you thought you knew a lot of people, but all of them hurt you and left.

"hey, the people behind me right now. They're the ones that hurt you right," He lightly moved his head back while still dancing to the music.

"yeah," you sighed out in response not exactly wanting to talk about them after trying to ignore them all night.

"i fuckin' hate her smug face back there. I saw it when I walked in 'an i knew that it was 'er." he said like she directly offended him. You let out a little giggle at that lookin at the ground. A little quieter and a little closer to you he lifted up your head with his fingers and told you "thats why i made such a scene when i came in. I wanted her and all of 'em to see that you have such a tall, sexy, muscular man on your side," He smirked at that and you couldn't help but let out a bigger laugh at that. Throwing you head back and immediately putting it back into place and covering your mouth. It's been a while since someone has made you felt this comfortable. He laughed at your wide eyes and shocked face holding his stomach. If people weren't looking at you guys before they definitely were now. You grabbed his arms and told him to shush while still giggling over the situation. Because he kept moving the two of you in circles when you looked up you made directed eye contact with her.

Your laughing stopped and your smile dropped just like you heart. All the memories came flooding back. The nights filled with with pain in more then one way. Filled with so many questions questions of why? And the fact that they just kept coming back to torture you more. They found every way to remind you that they were doing fine with out you. That they had no remorse for the pain they caused you. That they would always side with her no matter the amount of proof you had.

You didn't even realize his laughter had died down and he was now looking at you like he was trying to finish a puzzle, but that very last piece couldn't be found. "hey. Hey look at me. Let's go outside, yeah," he jerked his head towards the door and began to move your body towards them. He kept looking towards the door and back to you.

Once outside he sat you down at a bench and kept his hand on yours that was resting on your thigh and thats when you felt it. The heavy feeling on your chest and the racing thoughts. Thoughts about the fact that they are all talking about you. That you are still weak running away from your problems. Your stuck in the constant loop. She still had so much power over you. That if you just learned to keep your mouth shut none of this would have happened. Before you realized it was hard to breath, see, and even to hear. It's been a long time since you've had an attack like this. And it's so so embarrassing. You could hear small 'hey's said and his hands never left your body. He held them on your shoulders to keep you rooted to you seat. You could see him in your line of sight but everything was blurry. Like he was a ghost you made up to comfort you. He couldn't really be here. You didn't snap back into reality till you heard his calm voice tell you to breathe and him lifting you up to place you on his lap. He took of his suit jacket and placed it so it covered both of your faces. It layed on both of your heads and probably looked really stupid, but that didn't matter. All you could see was him.

"breathe with me," is what you heard him say. He exaggeratly breathed in and began to count. He did the same to breathe out. It was hard and you were doing those stupid little inhale hiccups trying to catch your breath. "ya are safe with me, okay." He held you close to him and held you tight. This is all you've ever wanted. He stayed and held you through it.

He didn't take his jacket off your heads still you stopped crying. A few tears would slip here and there but he was quick to wipe them. "when your ready were gonna go back there an kick some ass," you let out a little giggle at that again. He really knew you. He knew exactly what to do to brighten your day.

Before you could look over he watch the group of them leave the building. They were definitely looking for you because they were obsessed. That's all he could think. He thought they were sad human beings that had nothing better to then tear others down because they didn't feel good about themselves. You looked up at him and behind him you could see them looking around. Once they spotted you they began to converse with one another like they weren't searching for you.

Then the fire started in your gut. You could feeling nothing more then the years worth on anger bubbling inside you. You got up and began walking over there. You knew that Atsumu would hold you back when he needed to but right now he was to excited to see the drama unfold.

Before you knew it your fist collided with her nose. She fell back and then rest of them grabbed her and began asking if she was okay and calling you names. "alright little one it's time for you to go back to you hotel," Atsumu said as he rushed over to where you stood. He's never seen you this angry, and he knew that if he didn't stop you now it would end really badly. He asked you where your rental car was and took you back to it so you guys could leave the party.

You guys sat in your car in a comfortable silence as the sun went down and your tears slowly came to an end. "God knows how long i've waited to do that," you giggled. You felt crazy, but so much more free. Surpised that Atsumu didn't say anything you looked over.

He was just watching you. Love stuck puppy eyes on his face. You began to worry. He looked as though he was think a lot, and that was never a good sign. You felt stronger about yourself at this moment so you took the leap and decided to ask him what was up. "what are ya thinkin about," .

It took him so time to spit it out like he was worried you would punch him in the face too. "that was just- that was really hot,". Not in a million years did you imagine the Miya Atsumu would be calling you hot. He still looked at you like you put the stars in the sky but all you did was punch a girl from high school. "i-i've liked you for some time now, and i know that I sound stupid and you probably aren't ready for a relationship but god," he let got a breath that was similar to a giggle. He threw his head back and said "god what have ya done to me," He let out a longer laugh at that. After taking a deep breath in he looked directly into you eyes. "god i wanna kiss ya so badly. I wanna kiss you till all ya can think about is me" He said all while shaking his head slowly like he was fighting the words in his head.

"do it," is all you could say quietly with a breathy air to it. You kept looking between his eyes and his mouth. This was all so much but he just knew you. He knew what could get you to fall into him, and some how he knew your boundries.

He slammed his lips into yours and kissed you like he would never be able to again. If this is what Heaven is like you want to bask in its sunlight till you fry up and can't move. He leaned so far over the console just to chase your lips, and it seems as though he was holding himself back from crawling right over it and directly into you seat. You pushed him back a bit and got up on your knees. This time you were reaching over the console just to chase the lips you had to tell be quiet all the time. With the amount of filthy words that left his mouth all the time his lips were surpisingly sweet. He knew exactly when to bite, kiss, and lick. Could there possible be anything he wasn't good at. You felt his lips curve up into their signature smirk as you kissed and it made it all the hotter. Your sure the windows were fogged up at this point and it was so hard to not climb onto his lap and start unzipping your dress and unbutton his white button up.

He was right just from a kiss all you could think about was him. You wanted to see his abs in all their glory. You wanted to see his V-line more then just the teasing you saw when he stretched. You wanted to see where it lead and the rest of his happy trail. You wanted to see his thighs and bite and suck on them till he couldn't hide the hickeys. You wanted to hold on to his muscular back. Leaving long sratches down it so that ever time he moved he would remember the night you guys had together.

Once again it was hard to breathe, but this loss of breath felt much better. "please come stay at my hotel room" you asked. You hadn't realized the face you were making to him. Pupils blown out and lips swollen with need. You needed him, and he would never deny you of that.

"yes yes of course i will," At that you moved back to sitting in your seat and put your seatbelt on. Taking a deep breath you began to reverse out of the parking spot. Wow, today was eventful.

i wanna make a part 2 but ive never written smut before so its probably gonna be bad :,(

[se1f]

I'm so sorry if it's a manifesting based question and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to

So I feel like I've been living in a loop for 3 yrs now I've tried everything loa,void everything...deep down I know I deserve so much better and I also believe I can get it I just don't know exactly how...new year's coming I really don't wanna live like this I honestly just wanna end it but what then? I've to live again, another life then another then another.... I just want myself in a better place and I'm sorry if it feels like a trauma dump but I'm so tired of everything... I see everyone here living their best lives and people around me too and I just feel unlucky ugly and what not... I wanna realize self and also live a good life..how can I go about that?

Also English isn't my first language but I tried my best ♥️ and I love you and your work I resonate with you sm

please dont feel sorry at all for sending this in! it is completely alright <33

speaking from the perspective of another seeming human being- you do deserve it all. life can be complicated, and the act of comparing yourself to others can definitely cause some troubled feelings to arise. this step isnt necessary, but i would recommend you to love yourself! see your worth! you seem to be very dedicated in achieving the life you deserve, and i believe thats something to be very proud of. not only does your perseverance reflect your strength, but of your beauty. im not speaking of the deranged societal beauty standards that exist. i am referring to the beauty of your humanity. the refusal to give up. to keep walking the path of existence in a world that can be so frightening. many times, one does not truly wish to perish into dust, but for their suffering to be remedied. i do hope you are being supported at this time, and receiving any type of aid that may ease your troubles.

know that there is nothing to realize, as you are already THAT. while you do seemingly appear to be just a human being- you are more than that. words cannot even being to describe you, as you are beyond them. you are everything, and no-thing. what is appearing to happen before you, isnt actually occurring. it is just an illusion. there is nothing actually happening. that is why there is nothing to even change. the life you are trying to attain, and the life you seemingly experience now, are the same. both are an illusion. for THAT, there is no difference between forms. THAT doesn't really have a preference. neither life is better nor worse. it just is.

if nothing is truly happening, then does that not mean time is also an illusion? why wait for the new year? for THAT, everything is instantly THAT. THAT already has everything the illusionary you could wish for. realize there is no-body here to "get" anything. why would you wait for the validation of XYZ's existence through something that doesn't even exist? doesn't that seem silly? THAT pervades all illusionary senses, meaning sight, hearing, touch, smell- etc. once THAT knows XYZ is, then so it is. the illusionary human body is limited, it can never compare to THAT. so why allow it to dictate what is "real" or not? there is no waiting, you only wait because you seemingly think you are this body.

it does not matter what you seemingly think/believe to be true- or even sense. it can never affect THAT (unless "you" want it to). what you seemingly desire, already is. i hope this helped, even in the slightest!! i recommend checking out my masterlist, as the reblogs/posts are organized. you got this anon!! i know it's been hard, but know that it will be sweet from here on out!! i know it will be :)

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Dealing with a cockroach 🪳

"Hey love? Could you please grab the flour? I think the cake batter is missing something out..." You mumbled as Dabi only hummed before kissing your temple and started searching for the half bag of flour tied up by a scrunchy. Only to not find it...

"Dabs?"

"Chill out doll I'm looking for it..." he mumbled while pushing all of the things aside to only smirk to himself at finally finding it "You know... you could add some sugar on it too doll."

"You're going to have diabetes with how much you love sugary things..." You deadlanned as he stood up with the bag on his hand.

"Is not like is a serious issue due to my-" He stopped dead on his words as you widened your eyes at the moment he went to close the cabinet a cockroach made its way out and seemed to stare at you both for a solid 5 seconds.

You screamed at the top of your lungs as the cockroach finally moved and Dabi widened his eyes at the high pitch sound of your screaming before setting his hand on fire while the other grabbed a knife.

"DABI DONT YOU DARE-!"

"Get back here you fucking-!" He threw the knife at the ground, missing the cockroach for a just a little as you mentally slapped your face at the man chasing a cockroach with a knife and almost set your apartment on fire.

He finally caught the cockroach by his own hands as he glared at it for a bit before toasting it.... without mercy. Smiling and muttering something about "See what happens when you step into my territory bitch?"

"Gross ..." You gagged at the sign as he stared at you with a unamused look.

"What? Is dead now see? Barbecue of cockroach." He wiggled the corpse while walking towards you as you cringed.

"If you step closer to me with that thing I'm going to slap you." You growled as he moved closer while smirking.

You slapped him and he finally threw the dead cockroach on the trash outside of the apartment only to groan at you demanding for him to wash his hands.

"No cake for you you asshole."

"WHAT?"

Don't take his sweets away from him, he gets grouchy.

"I swear." You sighed "This is unnecessary... who the hell cleans their entire house after only three days Kai? Three DAYS."

Your boyfriend only blinked at you before continue to place the cleaning producst out of the cabinet.

"You're going to ignore me? Is that it?" You huffed when he stood up and handed you a dust mop with an arched eyebrow. "Asshole."

"Language." He sighed as he adjusted his black mask over his face as he grabbed the broom "Besides, is not only you. I'm helping it as well aren't I?"

"Only because you say you know how to clean it better and because all the precepts are on vacation..." You smirked at his scoff before you kissed his masked cheek "Fine you lil germophobic. But you better compensate me with this."

"You signed up for this when you wanted to date me though." He mumbled in a manner of fact as you snorted and went to the windows of your shared room as he went to your personal bathroom.

He was so distracted on cleaning the sink that only after he finished... he took notice of the roach without a care climbing on the toilet seat.

"..."

"..."

.

.

You let out a confused sound as you saw your boyfriend slowly exiting the bathroom... his hives all over his arms and some on his face while he furiously scratched them... and you widened your own eyes at seeing your capo, who usually had no fear of anything, sweating.

"Kai oh my God you look like you saw a ghost hun what happened in there?" You slowly touched his shoulders only for him to flinch "Oh God did I forgot to flush it?"

He violenty shaked his head while still looking at the bathroom. You furrowed your eyebrows before going to the bathroom and seeing the cause of your boyfriend's distress... you peeked a look at him at seeing him still scratching at his arms.

"A cockroach?"

"Do you know how many diseases those things carry?" He managed to speak in a low voice, a tint of panic and anger on his voice, as he continue to scratch.

"Did it touched you?"

"Of course not."

"Then why are you..." You took one last look at your boyfriend before sighing and grabbing a paper and a cup and somehow managing to cage the roach and getting out of the bathroom and later threw it outside of the gate of the yakusa house.

"There you go." You came back after washing your hands and seeing your boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed taking deep breaths. "Hey, is out right now... you can relax love."

"We're going to stay at a hotel. I'm going to call the exterminators and this fucking house will be in quarantine until further notice."

"Kai come on..."

Simple to say you two were in a luxury hotel for about 2 week and Kai Chisaki was traumatized to the point of threatening the hotel staff that if he found a single cockroach or rat on that place he would tear the building and their corpses apart.