#in fact it might even reinforce the idea that his father needs to die

[greyfics]

entry 8.5: a side-plot in which norm gets the fuck out.

- °•. ✦ .•° -

subject: norm maclean

fic type: smart relatable underdog side character gets spotlight,

word count: 2.85K

inspo: I really just need to see norm gtfo of that vault lol, I feel like he's got a fighting chance you know?

cw: spoilers for fallout season one  

summary: an overseer that is a brain in a vat. a series of experiments concealed behind the front of a subterranean utopia. the convenient relocation of the last of the people norm cared about- the last of the people questioning the fragile reign of the overseers, and what they might be hiding. norm desperately needs to leave, to find his sister- before he becomes just another one of bud's buds..

- °•. ✦ .•° -

"I suggest you wait it out in your father's pod, unless you want to starve to death- not much food in here, except the occasional large bug."

He is frozen. A small, quivering fist slowly slips down a firmly sealed door- were these vaults reinforced havens, or were they preemptive tombs?- the fist unfurls, as the wrist goes limp and the body connected numbs spare for the pitter patter of palpitations spawned from that very realisation.

His face is absent of blood, and despite the fact he has not yet fatalistically marched over to a cryogenic chamber to further bury himself in this pit, the numbness fades to a chill that kicks his feet into a frenzied pacing.

The robo-brain does a slow, awkward 180° twist, "All that is going to do for you is burn valuable energy that I simply don't have to give back to you, Norm. See, I'm sure you know this if you paid attention during your pristine pre-years education programme, but the human body requires-"

"Just shut up for a second." Is the flat-toned, snappy response Norm gives as he rubs his temples, the repetitive sensation a focal point to ground his shaking limbs, to ground a flurry of rarely seen irrational thoughts in that calculating mind.

Right now, it looks as though his only options are slamming himself against the door fruitlessly until he collapses from exhaustion and inevitably dies of dehydration or starvation, or to get into a pod on the other end of the room and pray that somehow, he is woken up- but what then? what would I even have to wake up to? Norm reflects upon the denizens of Vault 33- the way they force a smile and idle onwards so ignorantly; treating murderers as naughty houseguests, ignoring the slow dissimilation of their vault's security, it's vital resources and population becoming more sparse by the week. Even if there was hope brewing for a better future somewhere on the surface, there's no way that help would reach him down here.

Besides, he was just a problem for Vault 33- he always had been. He recalls the bitter comments about his unenthusiastic demeanour- the fearful confusion directed at his monotony- how lonely, how isolating a life down here is as an anomaly of the herd. With him removed from the equation, and Betty able to sleep at night thinking of him not as dead, but simply as in a rather permanent state of sleep, she would have no reason to wake him up- he who might expose the secrets they had desperately tried to keep locked away for so long. He was better left removed from the vault- left down here.

The reminder of his present predicament begins to suffocate him again, as his eyes flit between the walls and his breath picks up pace, the panic attack coming back for a dizzying second wave. Breathe. Breathe- I can't breathe. I'm going to die down here- this place is a big heaping metal tomb and I have to get out- Norm had never felt so overencumbered at the thought of being buried so deep beneath the surface before, but for the first time ever the urge to scratch his way to the surface was overriding in him the fear of the vultures circling above. He thinks about this- pauses his pacing entirely, and thinks some more. The buzz of an idea begins to spark slowly to fruition in Norm's mind.

It was true that it was better for Betty that he be kept somewhere outside of Vault 33- but maybe he'd even less of a threat left somewhere... else outside of 33? Maybe somewhere he could be more useful? He almost leaps from the exhilaration of having any kind of possible plan c at all in this situation- but his temperament keeps him still- and though his lips remain a flat, pursed line, a playful light dances behind the young genius' eyes, "Locking me in here won't stop Vault 33 from falling apart- it will just guarantee it. I'm your solution." He calmly declares- naturally, Bud's first move is to shut him down, but he is prepared for that, "Norman, you know I can't do that- and you really shouldn't worry about Vault 33 anymore, Betty has things completely-"

"-under control? If Betty had things under control, then how and why did a vault dweller manage to break into her office and trick you into letting them into Vault 31?" Bud stammers, juts to one side and then the other as he awkwardly attempts to give some justifiable explanation to Norm's question.

The bot stills, and lets a sigh out of its speakers, "There may be some... complications to the planned course of action- you being here being one of them, I should remind you- but I'm sure Betty will work through them and get everything back to normal soon enough. What good will it do us to send you to the surface? That would mean opening the vault doors, and risking the safety of everyone inside-" Norm shakes his head at this, takes a step towards the bot as he parries back, "-raiders managed to infiltrate our vault through 32 already, and the main vault door was opened twice after that. Do you really think one more time could hurt?"

The little brain in a pot makes an exasperated crying noise, and shakes itself as emphatically as it can, "But what would be the point in that, buddy, if we can just keep you tucked safely away in the most secure vault of the three down here, and... not open the door at all? None of our problems will be solved by another person leaving." A rare, triumphant grin floats onto Norm's face, and Bud makes a reflexive sharp shuffle backwards at the unnatural site, "If we don't replace our water filtration chip, then eventually Vault 33 runs out of water- and if the vault dwellers don't overthrow the overseer and leave by then? Everyone will die.-"

"Oh my god, why did he smile when he said tha-"

"-Just listen. Vault 32's supplies clearly ran out a long time ago, and evidently no-one from Vault 31 was gonna get up for a glass of water during their 200-year long power nap. By the look on Betty's face when she found out, I'm guessing there isn't a back-up." Bud is back to being completely still and silent now. Norm basks in a moment of captured quiet, takes a couple slow steps to steady the nervous shakes as he deployed as much charisma as he was capable, "You could just keep me in here, and let Betty send someone else to the surface for a replacement- but those people? The other dwellers? They're built for vault life- they fit in here-"

He wavers a little, a lump forming in his throat- but digresses, "I don't. I'm not strong- but I'm quick, and I'm smart... and, I might be a coward- or I was, once- but I'm beginning to realise this place is no better than whatever might be waiting up there. Nobody really knows what they're doing- not you, not Betty- maybe not even my dad. And I don't want to keep sitting around waiting to die when I could be doing something."- I could be helping Lucy, I should have- "So send me. I'll go find a replacement. I'll bring it back- and then neither you nor Betty will ever see me again. You'll be solving two problems with one stone."

The brain-in-a-vat that is Bud spends a painfully long time just sitting there and glowing, still taking in all that Norm had argued, malfunct in his dilemma between maintaining protocol or deviating from protocol for the sake of maintaining the protocol, honestly upset that he was having to do any deep deliberation at all regarding what he had been informed would be a rather simple and satisfying job. When he makes his decision, it comes with a disappointed, exasperated breath- and then a slow, clumsy spin once again, as he veers himself back into the door terminus access point.

With a blip and a hiss, the door that Norm had believed not too long ago to have sealed his fate begins to steadily unlock itself once again. He cries out with desperate relief and punches the air, before maintaining his composure and striding over to the door. He gets as close as he can, in case his thankfully not forever-friend decides to change his mind last minute. He hears the awful creaking of the vault door opening ahead, and dashes for it without even bothering to say goodbye to Bud- no time to spare, I need to leave now- Betty might not be so stupid. The door rolls to the left, his feet hardly make a sound as they dance across the metal grated platform to freedom-

And falter, pause, reverse a few steps when the figure of Betty Pearson is revealed but a few seconds later, arms crossed, already waiting for the door to roll back open.

Oh god, I think I'm having a heart attack. I think I might just die right now. I think that might be for the best.

...He does not die, and though he is grateful, he is also mildly disappointed that he still has to face Betty. She remains still, silent- her expression does not reveal much surprise at finding him here, but her stasis demands him to speak. Thinking of all she has done to this vault, and what little good she has done for it, he steels himself, and he glares back at her, his tone assertive as he speaks, "I'm going to the surface, and before you say anything-"

"Yes, you're right. You are going to the surface." She replies, steady and quiet,"I-" he is the one to stammer to a standstill this time, "I... am?" She steps towards him, and it takes all his will not to flinch away as a superficially endearing arm firmly braces around his shoulders, guiding him away from Vault 31, "Although at times I'm sure it seems as though I have... overlooked certain hardships that have come to challenge us all in this vault," -'overlooked' is an understatement, and a pretty ironic thing to do when your job title is overseer- "-but I've simply been thinking about the best options for our future. With our friends and family... rehomed, and our guests taken care of, I think it's time we begin dealing with some of our more long-term problems, too." The phrasing sends a chill across Norm's neck, which flows through the rest of his body as Betty guides him around a corner to bear witness to the remaining dwellers of 33, whooping and clapping in celebration for something he did not yet know.

Look closer. He notices the pause, the way they look past him to the overseer before they burst into their frenzied display- there are a couple eyebrows knitted upwards, the faintest flicker of a tear in the corner of an eye or a puffy redness where tears were wiped away to conceal the evidence of a negative emotion.

Some have slanted postures, clap a little slower- don't meet his gaze; they seem guilty of something, guilty of the relief that their body betrays.

Do they already know I'm leaving? How could they, unless-

"As I was telling everyone, Norm selflessly asked me for permission to go out onto the surface and solve our water chip crisis- of course, we do not often open our vault doors, and I felt too close to the matter to feel capable of making the decision myself- especially given the possibility that opening the vault door might threaten our friends in 31 too! So, I sent Norm to speak with Overseer Askins in Vault 31 to see whether he believes that this brave quest should be allowed. Of course, this affects all of us, too- but after talking it through with everyone, we've all agreed that however sad it will be to see you leave us- for a while, of course- it is definitely for the best."

A couple dwellers nod- some intentionally, some just in a lull of subconscious agreement even as their faces feign sadness. It stings to see how fast they were willing to get rid of him- it stings to be let go without a fight. The 'for a while' is simply salt in the wound; insulting to even pretend at this point that anyone in this cramped little gathering genuinely held any belief he would return.

"So!" The overseer pipes up chipperly once again, "Norm..."-not so enthusiastic-"Did you have a productive meeting with the Overseer? Did he give his consent to your proposed assignment?"

He could expose her right now, dismantle the order they had wrought horror and fear to maintain- but he knows he could not lead them, he knows how secretly glad they are to see him, of all people, sacrificed to the world above- he knows they would not survive up there, nor would they survive down here without a figurehead to fall behind, to hide them from reality. So he speaks a truth of kinds:

"The Overseer permitted my leave after I explained the importance of my departure, and how it was the best course of action." His tone lacks conviction in the vague, avoidant choice of words he spews, but a half-hearted cheer and a series of awkward hugs follows them anyway.

It's all just a big show. I'm starting to think I might be the only normal one here.

- °•. ✦ .•° -

A solemn march through the armoury and pharmacy to (ill)equip Norm for his journey through the wastes precedes a long, awkwardly still and quiet elevator ride towards the surface. Norm is the first to step out, bursting ahead into a fast stroll until he found himself standing at the precipice, waiting for the bridge to bring him to his salvation (or his doom). She gets into place-

and lingers, before she presses the button- they are alone now, and they are not so different, really- she just got better at hiding her discontent, "Norman." her voice is different to how he has ever heard it before- it was just... normal. When the calm and collected persona dropped away, she was the most human-sounding person he had yet encountered in his sheltered life. He turns, just his head- makes a point to pay attention, to show some enthusiasm- "You might think you're different, but... being different to most those folks down there is probably more of a good thing than not. You are extraordinary, never forget that. Even without everything that's happened, I think you were always going to be a problem for us. You've always been good at seeing things other people don't."

She pauses for a moment, deliberating on whether or not to bring something up- she chews her cheek, looks off to the side as she weighs up the power of her words- remembers her job, her duty, and the mask goes back on with a sympathetic smile, "We really do need that water chip- our vault has enough water to last about 150 more days, but after that, we'll be out. If you head north-east, ask around and you'll find a place that used to be a town called Shady Sands; it's not exactly close to here, but if it's any motivation I'd bet that's where your sister, Miss Maclean, will have headed too. When you get to Shady Sands, go directly east- I only know of a few vaults outside of ours, and I hear there's an old vault somewhere in the hills there- Vault 13. I'm sure they'll have a water chip to spare. Get the chip back to us, and you'll be a hero to this vault forever..." She certainly makes it sound appealing, but Norman knows better, "...but I'll never be allowed back inside." He finishes the sentence for her.

She hits the button, and Norm finds himself overcome with trembling uncertainty once again. Was he crazy? Just because he wasn't built for vault life didn't mean he was any more suited for the wastelands just beyond the door- the tomb unseals. Once again, a thought occurs to Norm at an inconvenient time- as he tentatively steps towards the radiating light that blinds him from above, he turns a final time to look at his now-former overseer with a quizzical expression, "Does... does Vault 32 not have a water filtration chip?"

Her smile doesn't change, but it takes a sinister feel as her next cheery words come out, tainted and barbed, "I did say our Vault has 150 days of water left- I'm afraid I can't speak for Vault 32, Overseer Harper would know more about that. Unfortunately, until we have a functioning filtration chip of our own, we won't be able to spare any of our own resources. But I'm sure everything will be just fine."

Norman began to run.

[anniflamma]

Man, I'm going a bit crazy with the idea of Mephiboseth and Absalom a bit here like, for starters Mephisboseth has to deal with the whole drama that if it wasn't because he had already been injured that the people who took care of him would have never loved him or let him live long enough as he is now. Cuz he is the heir of Jonathan after all, but also its the exact reason that he is the son of Jonathan that David cares about the boy so much, maybe just as much as Solomon, even though it isn't so noticeable when there's a lot of the problems in the family that arouse due to David's many wives and children.

One of which is of course Absalom. And to an extent I feel like he would become jealous but, I also like to think about he would grow out of that when he sees that 1)Mephisboseth poses no threat to him, heck less threat than his brothers currently do, 2) He seems a bit more lonely in the regard that he is the only heir of a lost family whose only person he could call a familiar being the maid that saved and keeps caring for him like a mother. And 3) Maybe the idea of Tamar being close to Mephisboseth would be nice to write about (but will also add a sadder tone when Mephisboseth can't do anything about what's going to happen to Tamar. 😔) especially considering how her other bothers might be.

Like maybe Mephisboseth is also quite the contrast compared to Absalom who is pompous and extroverted in his own regard. Like even when the deals of the court get to be too much Absalom can go back to Mephisboseth because with him there's no need to put on a show so that he can look better than his two (one really, the second son seems to be as invisible as middle child gets) brothers. After some years he might not care much about his father's favoritism because well, he knows he is great enough by himself. Not as wise as Solomon but enough, probably because Mephisboseth and Tamar hype him up a lot. (And that care that Tamar shows to them probably is what makes Amnon so bitter to the point of committing horrible things in the first place. Because not only is he hurting Tamar, he also hurts Absalom who wasn't present at the one time Tamar needed her, and Mephisboseth who even if he was, wouldn't have been strong enough to help her— or maybe would have tried and ended up getting more hurt because of his disability.)

Either way of how you put the story, the tragedy will so deep throat that I can't stop thinking about it.

And sidenote, the fact that Siba was kept in charge of Mephiboseth during the rebellion of Absalom was just a little note honestly but my mind went to the idea that maybe, because Mephiboseth cares about Absalom so much he would have tried to help him in any way he can, and David— who had met in secret with Jonathan before, who knows the lengths he would have gone for to be with the one he loves– tries to impose him from meeting Absalom in the case that another son of his, the son of *Jonathan*, dies. (Not to mention he would also have broken his covenant with Jonathan if Mephiboseth were to die.)

Sorry mate. I'm so sorry but you are suffering with me after giving me this idea 😔

Hey, I have no problem suffering with you! Where are all my papers on Mephi/Absolom stuff!? 😫

I couldn't agree with you more on this! There are so many themes you could explore with a story about Mephiboseth. The conflicts... The emotional turmoil... aahh! I believe the dynamic between Absolom and Mephi would be such a fascinating aspect.

Mephiboseth suffered greatly from the trauma of his accident and the sudden loss of his father in one single day. Following this, Siba, Saul's servant, tended to him and relocated him to a place literary called “Nothing,” reinforcing Mephi’s belief that he is insignificant. Even in the Bible, his insecurity is evident as he refers to himself as “nothing more than a dead dog.” Therefore, when he gets an summon to David’s palace and meet the king and his family for the first time, I always wonder about what is his perspective? Does Mephi harbor resentment? Is there jealousy towards Absalom and David’s other sons who grew up in a luxurious palace— a life that was meant to be his? And imagine if Jonathan had survived, then Absalom and Mephiboseth would have grown up together as brothers….

And yhea, It is pretty much canon that Absolom and Mephiboseth are the opposite from each other. Like you said, one is beautiful, popular, pompous, extroverted and a prince. And the other is lame, introverted and a "nobody". Which is something I can eat everyday! I just love the opposite attracts trope!

For Absalom, he had grown up in a grand palace that strictly forbade the presence of anyone with disabilities. David, for a really stupid reason, held a strong dislike towards those who were blind or deaf. However, everything took a different turn when David brought a new child into the court, publicly declaring him as his own son and warning sternly that any harm towards the boy would be met with severe consequences. I think this sudden change could leave Absalom confused and somewhat resentful of his father's abrupt favoritism towards this random boy. He probably would feel jealous at first, but probably quickly shifts and not lingering on these emotions for long.

I also see that the relationship between David and Mephiboseth is not entirely healthy. David's protectiveness towards Mephiboseth could even borders to an obsession, stemming from his fear of losing "Jonathan” again. I thinks that Mephi would looks and resembling his father in every way, When Mephiboseth stands before him, David is overcome with emotion.

Picture him trembling on the floor before the king, uncertain of his fate, why he is here. In a surprising turn, David pulls him into a tight embrace, tears streaming down his face, perhaps softly uttering Jonathan's name. Confused and hesitant, Mephiboseth eventually returns the hug. 😭

David has good intentions and cares deeply for Mephiboseth, but his love for him seems to come with conditions. It raises the question of whether David's affection for Mephiboseth would remain unchanged if he were not Jonathan's son. The likely answer is no, something that Mephiboseth probably already knows about. The only reason David lifts the ban on disabled individuals entering the palace is because he desires to have Mephiboseth live with him and his family.

Then we have David's overprotectiveness during the rebellion. Despite being torn between loyalty to Absalom and David, Mephiboseth is forced to remain at the palace due to Siba's influence. Siba, believing that a lame person should not stand beside the King, prevents Mephiboseth from joining David but as well not allowed to follow Absalom. It could be that David might actually be alright with leaving Mephiboseth behind at the palace. A recurring theme in "The Prince’s Psalm" is how others underestimate David and try to forces him to stay low and at home. His family unknowingly hurts him when they are doing it. This mirrors how David unknowingly makes the same the mistreatment he endured from his brothers onto Mephiboseth.

There could be also a theme with David not viewing Mephibosheth as his own person. When Siba lies that Mephibosheth has betrayed David and that he has left the palace, David becomes enraged and gives all the inheritance that he would give to Mephibosheth to Siba instead, not taking time to think or ask for evidence. It also shows that he doesn’t really know Mephibosheth, that he immediately believes someone else's words. It gives the feeling of "putting him on a pedestal." What I'm trying to say here is that David loves Mephibosheth for Jonathan’s sake. It's a beautiful thing between David and Jonathan but not as much for Mephibosheth, if you know what I mean.

And there are so many parallels between David and Jonathan’s story with Absalom and Mephibosheth. It has the same story beats but the roles are reversed. The "shepherd" stays in the castle while the prince is on the run from the king.

Regarding Tamar, it's a very sensitive topic. The assault of Tamar in the Bible is only used as motivation for Absalom to start the rebellion. After that, Tamar isn't important narratively anymore. She is only mentioned once more after the assault, when Absalom names his firstborn after his sister. This act struck me as such sweet thing, cuz it's probably the only time in the Bible where a male character celebrates having a daughter. Personally, I've always been uncomfortable with female characters experiencing trauma solely to drive the motivations of male characters. As well as that a character would sexually abuse another character just to hurt someone else. Amnon comes across as nothing more than a creepy stalker in the bible, and I don't think he doesn't need any additional motivation for assaulting Tamar. Like you said, I really like the idea of having Mephibosheth and Tamar become good friends, leading Amnon to feel jealousy. But it wouldn’t be the main factor why he was harming Tamar in the first place. He was obsessed with her already and resorted to trickery to manipulate David into sending her alone to his bedchamber—a situation that would never have occurred if she hadn't been ordered or coerced into it. I do think that both Absalom and Mephi would blame themselves that they couldn't protect her but then Absalom redirects that resentment towards David. This would happened to Mephi as well but he becomes conflicted. That he don't want to blame David for forcing Tamar to be alone with Amnon at first but then realize it later. I'm not sure about what I could add to Tamar's story…. Perhaps keeping her involved in the story could enhance her character arc? For instance, instead of Siba aiding Mephibosheth in meeting Absalom secretly, maybe Tamar could fulfill this role instead? I dunno, I'm not sure.

Though if Mephibosheth and Absalom's relationship were romantic, then David would probably immediately spot it. 😅 I don’t think that he would mind in the beginning, and even it would make him reminisce his memories with Jonathan. But when Absalom starts the rebellion, he obviously sees him as a threat to Mephibosheth. And after Absalom’s death… Yeah, there we have the sad juice. David mourns for his son's death and we have Mephibosheth mourning too by David's side. It's like a reflection of Saul and Jonathan, but this time, it’s “David” who died. And it's the King and the “prince“ still living.

I WANT THIS TO BE A BOOK SO MUCH! 😫

[ninadove]

Hm.... While I agree, Gabriel IS selfish.... I have to point out; he clearly changed his heart (again, I don't want to make him a saint) from hurting others. And (in my oppinion) there was no good human sollution. He was dieing, they said he has hours left.... He might could have ask for Adrien's forgivenes, but that doesn't changes the fact Adrien becomes an orphan, having either Emilie or Ms. Tsurugi as guardian (whis isn't that bad, but worse than what happend at the end). So, I would say, he made the best/better of the worst situation.

Also, I have the theory that his whis was to inflict the broken Peacock Miraculous dammage uppon himself. And asked Gimmi to read his heart, and I belive, in that moment, he doesn't wanted to hurt anybody, only heal. So, while I see why you say rightfully he awoided the consequenves, I belive he did it knowing it won't effect anybody negativly, at least ah he could foresee (part of my theory is that healing EVERYBODY from the Pracock's effect, which possibly includes Colt, so.... Here is your backlash😅🤫)

There is no perfect human solution, as Bug Noire herself pointed out — but, this is the entire point: accepting that some things will be lost, and that you need to do the best you can with what you have. A lesson Nathalie urged him to learn in earlier episodes, when she begged him to make plans for Adrien’s future.

Even if Gabriel was convinced it was the only solution — which we have established goes against the entire morale of the story and is selfish in itself, don’t use black magic kids, it’s really not that hard — let’s not forget that he:

Manipulated, then attacked a child to get there (there’s a reason they made this shot so threatening) ;

Put the pressure on her to lie and protect his legacy — trapping Adrien in a neverending circle of mourning an heroic version of his father he never got to meet, while still dealing with the consequences of the abuse he inflicted upon him. Depriving him of a choice — that of forgiving his father or not — one last time.

In other words, the context around the wish, and the steps Gabriel takes in order to achieve it, reinforce its inherent selfishness, and the idea that people did and will get hurt as a result.

On a side note, I don’t think Gabriel could heal everyone that has been affected by the Peacock — it does not work well with the idea of equivalent exchange as explained by Gimmi, and Thomas Astruc heavily implied that the woman we see by the pool is Amelie, as bringing Emilie back would go against the message of these 5 seasons.

What he most likely did was """sacrifice""" himself to bring back Nathalie, which would work well with the "a life for a life" rule, while still allowing him to join his wife in death.

Also, if everyone (including Colt) was suddenly saved from the effects of the Peacock, Felix definitely wouldn’t look this happy:

For context, and because I love hearing myself talk: [Part 1] [Part 2]

[justinewt]

Our Souls Bleeding Tears of Anguish - THE 100 REWRITE Chapter Twenty-Three

[THE 100 MASTERLIST]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: The days following her arrest and imprisonment had been a roller coaster of emotion for Michelle, with far more downs than ups. The mix of fear, frustration, anger and sadness that stirred her insides almost made her sink into despair, and not being sure as to where Bellamy stood in all this made it even harder. She wanted him to show her he was back on their side.

Words: 6.4k

arnings: The 100 season 3 spoilers (episode 8 “Terms and Conditions”; episode 9 "Stealing Fire"; episode 10 "Fallen"), title adapted from quote from Katie MacAlister, execution, lots of blood

Pike suspended access to the prisoners, reinforcing security in front of and in the corridor leading to the cell where all the Grounders in the camp were still locked up, or interned as the new Chancellor preferred to put it, including Michelle herself. She woke up for the second time, curled up on the cold floor and sat up against the wall, crossing her legs. Her arms were bare since she had left her jacket in her room and although they were indoors, being dressed only in a tank top at the end of winter was rather unpleasant. She hadn’t been allowed to see or talk to her father in almost two days and she wondered what was going to happen to her. Pike said they weren’t on the Ark anymore, implying that back then, she would have been floated but not down here, but now she wasn’t so sure about the fact that she wouldn’t walk out of this cell only to be executed.

She was arrested by Bellamy before she could even tell her father that Pike knew there was a mole, and that his suspicions had befallen him. She only hoped it would be all right for him. She dreaded seeing the only parent she had left die before her eyes. Staring into the void, she kept rehashing the same thoughts until she heard movement in the hallway, and she turned her head. Sinclair, the chief engineer back on the Ark and here, was pushed into the cell, just like she was, except he didn’t collapse to the ground. He noticed Michelle and seemed chocked to see her there. This immidietaly told her that her father had no idea where she had gone and it pained her, knowing he was probably doing anything he could to find her and at the same time, find a way to stop Pike.

“This cell will soon be filled with both my people and yours.” Lincoln walked up to Sinclair and Michelle stood up, approaching them. “What’d you do to get here?”

“Whatever it took. I have a message for you from Kane. Get ready. You too, Michelle. Tonight’s a go.” He stepped away and the Grounder and the young woman exchanged a look before she went back to sitting against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her. Whatever this plan of theirs was, she might have a chance to get out of here that very night. A few hours later, Sinclair called for a guard, telling him he was ready to speak, and they sent for Bellamy who arrived shortly after. He came up to the fenced cell door, facing Sinclair. Michelle stayed put, a hand on the ground, on the go. Both her and Lincoln were watching.

“You have something to say?”

“What do you wanna know?”

“Everything.” Sinclair nodded.

“I want immunity. I’m the Chief Engineer and this camp needs me.”

“That’s up to Pike, but it shouldn’t be a problem. What have you got?”

“So…” As he was beginning to speak, or really pretend to give information, Lincoln walked towards them.

“The cowards make their deals to save their own skin.” Bellamy told him to be quiet, but the Grounder kept going at it, adding fuel to the fire. “Can’t defeat the army at the gate? So, you turn on your own? Make you feel strong?”

“I said, “be quiet”.” He repeated.

“I’m not the one who needs to be silenced. He’ll tell them nothing.” When Lincoln grabbed Sinclair by the shoulders and threw him on the ground and began to throw punches at him, Michelle stood up, a hand on the wall. Bellamy shouted and a guard unlocked the door so he could come in and put an end to the assault. Sinclair was groaning loudly at each blow, but what Bellamy wasn’t aware of was that they had been faking it all along. Sinclair was shielding himself with his arms. He realized the deception when it was already too late, Lincoln called all the other prisoners to attack, and they ran forward. Commotion ensued and Bellamy was slammed against the wall, falling to the ground with a thud. The guards outside the cell all cramed against the door to keep the prisoners inside while the Grounders pushed against them with their full strengths, eventually gaining the upper hand. Michelle was frozen in place, wanting to check on Bellamy but also wanting to just make a run for it and leave but when an alarm sounded in the building, calling for reinforcement, she chose her first option and knelt next to Bellamy who groaned in pain. When he came back to his senses, he looked at her as if she had betrayed him, when it was the other way around and he got up hastily. With all the fight going on, she stood back up and watched, almost catching a stray here and there. She then saw Bellamy run through the cell and she was tempted to follow him but knowing how much of a mess this whole operation was, she was going to get caught anyway because there wasn’t anywhere else for her to go.

The riot was quickly put down by the dozens of guards who stunned the prisoners with they weapon and put them back in the cell. The alarm eventually stopped as well, and a heavy atmosphere took over the place. This religious silence lasted all afternoon and as she watched night fall through the small portholes in the corridor, she was alerted by the sounds of footsteps approaching the cell. She got up and saw her father's silhouette through the door. He had a defeated look on his face as his glance went from Lincoln to Sinclair and stopped on his daughter. She stood in front of him and wrapped her arms around him. They tried to get back at Pike and Kane had been on the front line. Now he had been arrested, and Pike had probably passed sentence already. She couldn't bring herself to think that her father could be condemned to death. If he died, she would die as well. If that was what awaited him, Bellamy better be aware of this. He would lose someone he loved, again, and all because of his choices.

They sat down on one of the benches and Michelle rested her head on his shoulder, eventually falling asleep against him.

A while later, she was woken up from her nap by a loud clinging sound of metal against metal. She straightened up, squinting her eyes and put her hand in front of her mouth as she yawned. It was Pike who was hitting against the mesh wall, and she gave him a death stare. Her father stood up.

“I’m not here for you, Kane. Each of you is guilty of the same crimes and as such, you will suffer the same fate. Death.” Michelle's face fell as she heard the news, but she would rather die alongside her father than having to watch the latter get executed. A grounder woman stood up, speaking her native tongue to Lincoln who stretched his hand towards her before approaching Pike who was standing on the other side.

“My people are innocent. They know nothing.” He whispered.

“Sir, Lincoln’s right.” Michelle approached in turn, standing next to her father, who had thought it was his time. “All the others did was run through an open door. Same thing we would do if we were in there. And Michelle—”

“Michelle did protect a traitor, but…” He cut him off and his focus went back to Lincoln. Bellamy looked at her through the holes and she could see his loyalty to Pike was beginning to crumble but she was disappointed things had had to go this far for him to doubt Pike. It had to come to the point where she was sentenced to death. “I believe that’s true. Kane, Lincoln, Sinclair… as the leaders of this coup, you will pay for your crimes with your lives. Execution is set for dawn.”

Michelle’s face lost all its colors and she turned as white as a sheet, as if she had seen a ghost or was on the verge of death. She was exempted from being killed, but her father was not, and just thinking about having to watch him die made her feel sick to her stomach and drained her of all her life force. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Bellamy turn around and she almost threw herself against the grid, her fingers gripping through the mesh. She saw the young man stop in his tracks and look behind him.

“You can’t let him do this.” As she repeated herself two and then three times, she hit the grid each time, she gritted her teeth as she held back from crying, both out of frustration and sadness. His eyes showed that all this disturbed and upset him and he turned his back to her before walking away. She took a step back and her father gently took her shoulder and pulled her back against him. At some point in the night, he was quickly taken out of the cell, chained of course, to go see Abby but he was back barely a couple minutes later. Michelle had never been this clingy in her whole life but all she could do now was to sit next to her father, clinging to his arm, her head resting on his shoulder. Michelle was unable to get any more sleep out of this night and awaiting her father’s death filled her heart with despair. He wasn't even on the scaffold yet and she was ready to give up on life. His sleeve was rolled up to the elbow and he detailed the coalition mark with his fingertip, thinking.

“It could’ve worked.” Lincoln said, sat on the bench a few feet away.

“Death can be an act of unity, too. We don’t break.” He turned his face to Sinclair, quickly glancing to Michelle after placing a kiss on her hair. “We don’t show fear. The people will remember.”

“Chancellor on deck.” A guard then announced. A second later it was Pike’s voice which came to irritate Michelle's ears, and which also made her heart drop. A few Grounders stood up, not knowing what this was about but Lincoln spoke to them. Michelle and Kane got up and he held her face, first looking into her eyes then he pressed his forehead against hers and placed a second kiss there.

“May we meet again.” Pike ordered for everyone to stand against the wall. She was pushed away from her father by a guard and had to watch them tie him, Sinclair, and Lincoln up. Also noticing the absence of Bellamy among the guards and wondered where he had gone now but she quickly put this question at the back of her head. She didn’t care where he was right now, she only cared that she was about to become an orphan. A guard came towards her, and she got her hands tied. Seeing this, Kane got alarmed. “What are you doing?”

“She will be released right after your execution.” The Chancellor then said to Kane. She was already upset over her father’s upcoming death, but she became even more terrified of having to watch. Maybe Pike would keep her somewhere else while it happened, or he would force her to witness it, to break her and ensure she wouldn’t try to fight him in the future. If it was the latter, he would succeed. She would be broken.

“Charles, she doesn’t need to see this.” His plead was ignored and the four of them were walked out of the cell.

“Make way.” Pike commanded as they crossed paths with Harper. She exchanged a prolonged glance with Kane. Once they were further away from her, Michelle saw her peer bring her radio up to her mouth, mumbling something. She figured the latter was in contact with Octavia and as usual, she would get them out of this situation. It somewhat relaxed her because if Octavia was coming, then none of them would be executed and she wouldn’t have to watch. A minute later, Hannah’s voice sounded from Pike’s radio.

“Sir, you were right. Octavia Blake is here, and she’s not alone.” He turned around, cocking his gun at them.

“On their knees!” They were pushed to the ground. He grabbed his walkie-talkie. “Can you confirm a location?”

“Negative, sir.”

“We can assume her friends have told her where we’re taking them. We shouldn’t go further till the route’s secure.” A young guard advised. Michelle recognized Nate’s boyfriend, though she had no idea what his name was.

“Put them in there. Let’s go, move!” They were pushed into an empty dormitory and the door was locked behind them, telling two of his men to stand stand watch. From inside the room, they heard him shouting orders before leaving. They all exchanged a look when, a moment later, the door burst open, revealing Octavia. Michelle glanced out the doorway, the two guards were lying on the floor. Knowing Pike would be back soon, she picked up one of the square floorboards and they slipped in the crawlspace underneath. They heard the guards and the Chancellor walk right above their heads.

“The guys are alive, sir. They must have drugged them.” One spoke.

“We did what they wanted us to do. That won’t happen again.” He declared as he walked out. The guards jogged after him. They waited a little longer and Octavia pushed the floorboard, taking a look.

“All clear.” She grabbed the guns and put them on the floor before jumping out of the crawlspace.

“A little tight in there.”

“Try doing it for 16 years.” Kane was second to climb out and she cut his restraints. She walked towards Lincoln after freeing Michelle while Sinclair pushed the floorboard back into place. Abby entered the room going straight to Kane and Michelle.

“I told you not to do this.”

“Why would I start listening to you now?” She undid their restraints and Michelle sketched an amused smile. That was something she could have said to her father. The radio at Octavia’s belt beeped and Kane looked up at her.

“What is it?”

“This wasn’t the plan. We used their frequencies so they could hear us.”

“Stay where you are.” Harper’s voice came through in a whisper. “Repeat. Stay where you are. The exit is not clear.”

“How many guards?”

“Too many. I said stay put.” Then, suddenly, someone made an announcement sounded throughout the ring, calling all the guards at the main gate claiming the prisoners were headed there. This was obviously a false report to cover for them and allow them to flee.

“That was Monty.”

“Guess he’s with us after all.” Nate said, looking at Octavia.

“Pike will find out.” Kane added.

“We don’t know that. What we do know is we have to move.” Abby quietly urged them. They slipped away into the corridor and headed towards the entrance to the crawlspace to allow them to exit the camp without being seen. A woman’s voice came over PA, warning the citizens of Arkadia that an emergency lockdown was going into effect. Michelle stood by with Abby while Kane had everyone get through the opening. He turned to the two women and motioned for Michelle to move forward. She stepped in and was about to go through the tunnel but when she didn’t hear Abby reply to Kane when he told her it was her turn, she wondered what was going on and looked back.

“I’m not going. They need someone to show them the way out of the dark.” Michelle's eyes widened in shock when she saw her father step forward and take Abby's face in his hands to kiss her passionately. She wasn't expecting it at all and was quite taken aback but she turned out to be pleasantly surprised. If she wanted to see her father with anyone, it would for sure be Abby. She was already like a second mother to her. A sweet smile sketched her lips and she let them have a moment before Abby walked away. Michelle stuck her head through the opening.

“I already saw Clarke as my sister so that's fine with me.” She giggled and her father glanced at her, letting out a quiet laugh until Pike’s voice came over Octavia’s radio and the situation took on a more serious tone again. They were hanging on his threatening words.

“I have a message for the traitors in this camp. There will be an execution today. Either turn yourselves in, or the other Grounder prisoners will die in your place.” Lincoln looked at Octavia, his face impassive and pushed her out of the way. She grabbed his arm to stop him. Kane turned to his daughter and motioned for her to go with the others, telling her he would join them shortly and she nodded before crouching her way to the exit, dropping her right outside the camp. She waited for her father alongside Nate and Bryan and he eventually arrived, carrying an unconscious Octavia in his arms. Lincoln was nowhere to be seen, and for a very simple reason. He stayed behind to turn himself in and save his people from getting killed because of them. He put Octavia on the back of a horse and gave Michelle his jacket when he realized that she was still in just a tank top. She tried to refuse, not wanting her father to be cold but he insisted and placed the garment on her shoulders. She slipped her arms in the sleeves and the group started walking. Octavia came to her senses as it started raining and she clumsily jumped off the horse, mumbling Lincoln’s name. From where they were, they could see the camp in the distance. She stumbled through the bushes to get closer. Her face twisted with anguish. Lincoln fell to his knees in the mud, Pike facing him. Michelle got startled when he shot the Grounder in the head, his body collapsing to the ground and disappearing from their field of vision. She looked at Octavia and the sorrow on her face was gone. She looked cold and emotionless, but hatred pierced through her eyes as she stared at Pike's silhouette.

At the speed they were walking, it took them a minute to get to the cave where Octavia had left Indra earlier in the day. Their walk was in the most heavy and morose silence. Michelle and Kane entered the place after Sinclair, Nate and Harper and the young woman was surprised to see Bellamy there, chained to a rock. This gave her an answer to the question of where he had gone. Octavia walked past them, looking down at her sword in its sheath. He looked nervously at the entrance to the cave.

“Where’s Lincoln?”

“Pike put a bullet in his brain.” She said, her back to him. He couldn’t hide his shock, and guilt, regarding the Grounder’s death.

“O… O, I’m so sorry.” She snapped, suddenly turning around and punched him in the face with all her force. He stood back up, looking at her without saying anything and she kept hitting him, blood staining his lips and cheek. Michelle gritted her teeth, wanting to say something but not daring. She understood how much anger and resentment Octavia must have felt towards her brother, blaming him for what happened.

“Octavia, that’s enough.”

“Kane, stay out of this.” His eyes were wide open. He obviously felt responsible and let his sister lash out at him. She started hitting him repeatedly and everyone without exception looked away. Michelle closed her eyes, wincing at the gruntings. Kane took her by the shoulders, and they moved away from the scene. Octavia was sobbing and pushed Nate away when he tried to stop her. Again, Bellamy said to stay out of this and back off. Michelle put her hands on her ears when Octavia screamed and finished her brother off, his body falling with a thud.

“You’re dead to me.” Michelle heard silence return as Octavia's footsteps walked away towards the back of the cave. She let her hands fall and dared to turn her head, breathing heavily. She tried not to let her jaw drop at the dreadful sight of Bellamy's face covered in blood. She finally got up and approached one of the big bags they had brought. It was mostly weapons, but she found a cloth and some water while the others began to set up a fire on the other side of the cave. Bellamy avoided her gaze and turned his face away when she knelt beside him and tried to bring the folded cloth closer. With a trembling hand, she took his face and proceeded to gently wipe away the blood. He winced from the pain, tightening his lips. His eyes were no longer so wide open but still shocked and flooded with shame as he stared into the void.

“I deserve this.”

“Never said you didn’t.” He rolled his head against the rock and looked at her. She crossed his gaze. His eyes were asking her why she was even tending to him since she agreed he deserved this punishment. “I just— I don’t like seeing you like this. But I'm still angry with you.”

“I’m so sorry.” His voice was soft, almost sounding like a silent request to forgive him and he plunged his eyes into hers. Her hand still against his face, he wrapped hs fingers around her wrist.

“I know. But I can't forgive you just yet, especially out of respect for Octavia.” He briefly looked away, nodding. She let her hand slide off his face and bringing it on her lap, she held his wrist. “I’m sorry too.”

“For what?” His gaze swiftly came back to hers. At first, he didn’t understand what she was even apologizing for.

“Pushing you away.” She said under her breath, glancing at the blood-soaked cloth in her other hand before and then over her shoulder. Behind her, the others had lit a fire and were all sitting around it, talking about their next move, Pike, and the ongoing blockade around Arkadia. That was the reason they couldn’t go very far and turned this cave into their hideout. She looked back at Bellamy’s scarred face. He was staring at her, knowing she was referencing the romance that had blossomed between them before she ended it without a word. She never explained herself to him and subsequently he got together with Gina and their relationship became even more distant and awkward.

“You don’t need to apologize for that.”

“Yes, I do. We hurt each other because I didn’t handle things very well. Had too much on my plate…” Looking away, she parted her lips, wanting to tell him she liked him, but the words wouldn’t come out. Thinking about saying it out loud to him awakened the resentment that was sleeping deep inside her and she concluded briefly, shrugging. She let go of her hand and sat on the wet rocky ground of the cavern. She sighed, raising her head towards skylight above the cave. The thick foliage of the trees let in an openwork light inside. “By the way, did you leave my jacket in my room?”

“I took it after I arrested you. It's in my room.”

“I want it back when we return to Arkadia.” After a look from her father, as he sat down at the fire, she stood up and went next to him. She didn't want to give all her empathy and kindness to Bellamy for the simple reason that she had seen him get beaten up by Octavia. She knew he was sorry for what happened but there was a part of her that wanted to wait and see if he had truly joined their side for good, or if Pike's influence had still a hold of his mind. Giving out everything without knowing if she would get anything, other than a betrayal, from him wasn’t something she was ready to do. From where she was, she had Octavia facing her, sitting with her back to her brother and the latter a few dozen feet away. They stared at each other from the corner of their eyes.

“I say, we run two-man patrols, round the clock, starting now.” Bryan said.

“We’ll do that, but we should be safe here. The Grounder’s blockade is too close for Pike to risk looking for us.” Kane spoke.

“Yeah, but are we safe from the blockade?”

“As long as we stay this side of the line, we should be.”

“They’re Grounders, you really think they’re gonna play by the rules.” Octavia glared at him, and his remark made Michelle roll her eyes, breaking eye contact with Bellamy for a moment.

“Hey, Pike will want you dead now, too. We take him him out, we can go home.”

“We take him out, then the Grounders lift the blockade.” Harper chimed in, adding to Nate’s statement to his boyfriend.

“That’s right. We become the 13th clan, again.” Michelle glanced back at Bellamy, seeing him quietly disagree with what her father was saying. He rose his eyebrows and shook his head in disbelief. Feeling her eyes on him, he peeked at her before looking away. “Those were the terms.”

“Lexa’s terms.” Sinclair corrected. “If what Bellamy says is true and she’s dead, how do we know the next commander will honor them?”

“One problem at a time.”

“What about Clarke?” Michelle turned her head to Nate at the mention of her friend. “With Lexa gone, she’s not safe at Polis."

“Clarke made her choice.” Octavia thrusted the tip of her blade into the ground. “The only thing that matters now is killing Pike.”

“Octavia’s right.” While her father agreed, Michelle saw Bellamy looking up at them and gulped. There was guilt all over his face. “Once we resume our place in the Commander’s coalition, Clarke will be safe. So, how do we do it?”

“Bellamy, come in.” Monty’s voice rising from the radio interrupted their conversation, catching their attention. “It’s Monty, I’m in trouble. Please say you still have your radio.”

“If we respond and Pike’s listening—” Sinclair picked up the radio, hesitant.

“We go to Channel 7.” Bellamy stated. “Please say you still have your radio. That’s seven words after the word “trouble”. It’s code, go to seven.”

After a few seconds of silence, Sinclair and Kane looking at each other, the Chief engineer switched the channels on the radio and hande it to the former councilman. Monty’s voice came up again, asking for Bellamy again. “Monty, it’s Kane. What’s wrong?”

“Pike knows that I helped you get out.”

“Can you get to the dropship?”

“I think so.”

“Good. Go there, I’ll bring you in.” He looked at Bellamy and ended the communication with Monty.

“Hold on, what if it’s a trap and Pike’s waiting?” Harper wondered.

“That’s why I’m going alone.” Kane declared as he stood up. Obviously, Octavia imitated him, who was quickly joined by Nate.

“Monty saved our lives. I’m going too.”

“No, you’re not.” He disapproved. Everyone got up on their feet, including Michelle. “If it is a trap, I’m not marching our entire insurgency into it.”

“To stop me, you’re gonna have to kill me.” Octavia said, coldly.

“She hopes it’s a trap.” She turned her head, looking over her shoulder.

“He’s coming too. We’ll need a hostage to trade for Monty.” Michelle’s gaze went from Octavia to Bellamy in the background. Kane admitted this was a good plan and the so-called hostage was gagged on top of remaining chained. When Nate tried to plead for him, he cut him off, reminding them that he was the enemy and repeated his order.

Advancing cautiously, with Octavia and Kane at the head of the line, the latter pushing a chained and gagged Bellamy in front of him, the group walked on the dropship ground. Fearing that Octavia was right and that it turned out to be a trap, Michelle had insisted to tag along, promising to her father that she would listen to him if something happened. Much like Octavia, but for different reasons, he was quick to realize it would be better for him to accept to let her come rather than argue with her over this. If it was a trap and they got caught, she wanted to be with her father. She refused to be pacing around a humid cave wondering if she was going to hear that her father was dead or see him come back to them. Nate had given her a gun and off she went. They stopped in their tracks. Kane called for Monty, breaking the suspicious calm and silence hanging over the place. He assumed they had gotten there first when after a few seconds there was still no answer and they took a step forward, staring at the curtain that obscured the interior of the ship. Octavia suddenly pulled out her sword, grabbing her brother’s shoulder and putting her blade up to his throat.

“Get outside! Now!” She yelled. Monty appeared and there was a moment where they thought he was alone but when they saw his hands brought together in front of him, tied up, it was clear something was wrong. And behind him, a gun appeared, held up to the young man’s head and the person who held the weapon was no other than Pike himself. The number one target on Octavia’s kill list. Monty apologized for getting them into a trap but none of them were mad at him. The fault lied with Pike, as usual.

“Let him go, Pike.” Kane’s request was obviously denied while he and Michelle aimed their guns at him. They got startled when a shot was fired at their foot and Michelle closed one of her eyes, looking through the sight on top of her gun. She noticed that in his other hand, there was a radio. She frowned, thinking she should have been more observant, at least now they knew he wasn't alone.

“It’s over. Put down your weapons.”

“Shoot him.” Octavia urged, glancing at Kane and Michelle. The latter looked at her father. If he wasn’t going to do anything, she would stand by. He couldn’t shoot though; Monty’s was in his way.

“If he keeps Monty there, I got a clear shot.” While Pike urged the former councilmate to do something, the latter told his daughter to hold her fire. If she missed and hit his gun, Monty would most definitely get a bullet in his head. Another shot was fired at their feet, unsettling them.

“I promised Monty’s mother that I’d bring him home alive. Don’t make me a liar.”

“He’s already a liar.” Michelle uttered, tighetening her grip of her automatic rifle. She was surprised when she saw her father lower his, much to Octavia’s disappointment. He took the strap of the weapon off around his chest and raised his hands in the air, sending a look prompting his daughter to do the same. She gritted her teeth and reluctantly did so, hands in the air, showing the large scar that ran across the palm of her empty hand. She watched her father throw the gun away and rolling her eyes, she imitated him.

“Now, you.” He addressed Octavia, who was still holding her blade to the side of Bellamy’s neck. Her only reaction was to pull her brother closer and put the edge of the sword at the front of his throat. Before another shot could be fired at them, Bellamy suddenly grabbed her arm, twisting it around. She fell to her knees with a grunt. As Michelle thought, not just one man came out of hiding, about half a dozen people appeared.  The three of them were held at gun point while Pike picked up Octavia’s sword. Michelle was staring at Bellamy. She couldn’t tell if their conversation at the cave had had any effect or had been pointless and she fooled herself thinking he had switched sides. There was a part of her that was afraid he would just go back with Pike. That part of her believed he would.

“Now, you don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine.”

“You got about five seconds to make me believe you’re still with me.”

“All the others are in a cave not far from here.” Michelle’s face fell from the disappointment that overwhelmed her. Octavia jumped at him, swearing and she was struck with an electric baton, collapsing to the ground with a grunt.

“Give me the coordinates.”

“I don’t have the coordinates. But I can take you there.” Pike had their new prisoners gagged and tied up while he freed Bellamy from his restraints and they pushed the three of them, along with Monty, in the forest. Walking beside her father, with Octavia in front of her and Pike and Bellamy at the lead, Michelle glared at the later, looking around as they advanced, she wondered where he was taking them. This wasn't exactly the route they took to get to the dropship site in the first place. She was on guard and didn't want to get her hopes up if he turned out to be betraying them again. She would be less disappointed if she expected the worst.

“Sure about the route?” Pike eventually asked. “We’re getting close to the blockade line.”

“That’s why Kane set up out here. He didn’t think we’d risk it.”

“Well, he was wrong.”

“What’s gonna happen to my sister?” I know she has to answer for her crimes, but—”

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll make you the same promise I made to Monty’s mother. Immunity from all past actions, but if she screws up again—”

“Oh, she won’t. I’ll make sure of it. My sister, my responsibility.” Michelle glanced at the girl. She couldn't see her face, but she knew that hearing him talk like this made her terribly angry. After what she had said and done to him in the cave, if she ever managed to forgive him, it wasn't going to be any time soon. A moment later, Pike had them come to a halt. Bellamy ensured the cave was right on the other side and they resumed. A horn echoed through the forest. Pike's soldiers raised their weapons, aiming at the treetops but no one could see anything. He urged them to go back to higher grounds and the moment he turned his back to Bellamy, the latter snatched the gun at his belt and held him at gunpoint, yelling at him to drop his weapon. One of the Ark’s guards took a step forward and Octavia hit him in the abdomen with her tied hands and the man fell to the ground.

“We bring you Chancellor Pike of the Sky People. O, translate. Take him. Lift this blockade.” She pulled down her gag and spoke to the Grounders. Michelle jumped, taking a step back as arrows flew from the trees, taking down each of the guards. The Grounders then appeared, running towards them, and circling them, shouting. Crouched down after being startled, Octavia took a knife from one of the bodies and tried to attack Pike but Kane blocked her to stop her. The Grounders wanted him alive, and they wouldn’t get away with it if something like what happened with Finn happened again. Clarke had taken from them their right to revenge after he had shot innocent people in a village. They couldn't take this one away from them.

“In that case…” Pike took a step towards Bellamy, and an arrow lodged itself in his left shoulder. Blood sprayed as he fell to the ground and a Grounder came to deliver another blow. He was knocked out after another kicked him in the face. They picked him up. Meanwhile, Michelle had lowered her gag and Bellamy came in front of her, cutting her bonds with his knife.

“Where are you taking him?” Kane enquired after getting his ties cut.

“To the new Commander.”

“May I join you?” He pulled up his sleeve, revealing the Coallition mark on his arm. “We’re the 13th clan.”

“Don’t slow us down.” The Grounder turned around.

“Are you sure?” Michelle asked, worried.

“We know nothing about the new commander.” Monty added.

“I’m sure. Go home. Tell our people what happened here.” Monty nodded, walking away, leaving Kane with Bellamy and Michelle. He placed his hand on his daughter's shoulder and stroked her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. “Tell Abby I’ll look out for Clarke.” She nodded. He looked at Bellamy. “Did you do this for your sister? Or because it was the right thing to do?”

“You’re welcome.” He tried to dodge the question and leave but Kane grabbed his arm.

“It matters. Until you see that, you’ll still be lost.” Michelle watched her father catch up with the Grounder further away. When she looked at Bellamy, he avoided her gaze at first.

“I still don't know what to think of you.” She was still angry at him, but she really wanted to give him a second chance. Turning Pike in was a first step in the right direction. He was lost after everything that happened. They both had their issues and broken trust was a big one between them. Perhaps he was still afraid that she would push him away again, but now knowing he wouldn't betray them again, Michelle was ready to make efforts this time and she would help him get back on the right path.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated quietly, nodding.

“I’m sorry too.” After looking at each other in silence for a moment, they finally approached Monty who was standing alone not far away.

“My mom turned me in.”

“You’re family. We’ll work it out.” Bellamy put a hand on Monty’s shoulder and taking a peep at Michelle, he did the same, slightly squeezing hers. When she met the enraged gaze of Octavia who was kneeling near one of the bodies, she looked away. One of the men on the ground lifted his head, showing he wasn’t dead, and she jumped, stabbing him in the chest before staring at her brother, speaking trigedasleng. This time, Michelle clearly understood what she said, though the underlying threat wasn’t directed at her.

“Blood must have blood.”

[To be continued…]  

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Published (01/19/2023) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405​ @kika64 @mirellef2001

[mazzystar24]

I hate the sperm donor storyline for so many reasons:

1. It’s just out of nowhere and serves no purpose -as of yet (I actually do have an idea for what might come from this that MAY be interesting)

2. It’s honestly sort of character regression, Buck isn’t a selfish guy who a plot like this would show that he wants to help his friends, it’s the opposite he firmly believes that his sole purpose in life is to be of use to other people in order to gain their affection and he’s just now unlearning that

His parents made him feel like he was “spare parts” and he is just now supposedly processing that in therapy, this just reinforces that belief

Margrets line of “you were a miracle baby” when he told them about the sperm donation made me actually ill because it is just further proof that this whole storyline is once again him using himself to help someone else without considering what it means for him

3. More on that while it’s very in character for buck to want to help, at the same time it’s very out of character that we didn’t even see him really consider the fact that he’ll have a kid that he won’t really have even after hen pointed out that he needs to think about how it would make him feel

This guy literally practically acts like Chris’ father and has since day one and you cant convince me that it wouldn’t bother him to know there is a kid out there that he won’t get any contact with

Anyways, so the only storyline I think this could possibly be heading to is if kameron and Connor die in like a car crash or something in like a dramatic moment where you think they’ll make it but then buck is left to take care of that baby, which could be horrible or good, I mean accidental baby acquisition sometimes pisses me off, sometimes I love it but if done right this type of turn out has some potential. I feel like with buck he just needs a break tho so I’d kinda hate it, honestly can we wrap him in bubble wrap and not traumatise him anymore?

[tarotmasks]

hhhh i kinda wish goro and makoto’s joining times were swapped. (or if not swapped then at least Both of them at kaneshiro’s) because then goro would have to go through futaba’s palace.  also it wouldve made it a little less obvious that goro’s the traitor also like. makoto joining for her sister’s palace just Makes sense to me. (might fuck around and read a bunch of fics where akechi joins early. for Maximum Pain) 

[ashesandhackles]

The Abandoned Boy And His Problematic Fathers: Snape with Voldemort & Dumbledore

"He and Voldemort and Snape, the abandoned boys, all found home here..” - Forest Again, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

This comparison line of Harry, Snape and Voldemort being abandoned boys is not an accident. There is an intentional parallel being made between three of them - not only in terms of their parallels with the Hallows (as Tumblr has astutely pointed out), but also the commonalities in their upbringing. Given that Harry empathises so deeply with both of them, I am going to argue one of Harry’s attributes was present in all of them. We know that as an abandoned boy with lack of male authority figures to model after, Harry strongly craved a father. Here is a meta by u/metametatron4 that tracks Harry’s feelings about James (and Snape) through the series.

In Voldemort’s case, Tom believes his father to be the magical one and keeps his father’s name until he could no longer prove that it was his father who gave him his “special” lineage. He goes as far as searching Hogwarts records for his father because in his mind, his mother was “weak” to die. Once he is forced to concede that his mother is the magical one, he chooses to emphasise her ancestry in a paternal sense - “Salazar Slytherin, greatest of Hogwarts four”, tying himself up in grandeur. He also killed his father and his own paternal side of the family, his source of rage and shame. He sheds his father's name and becomes someone else, only known by his "special" magical lineage - cutting off that undesirable part of himself. Voldemort’s reaction to both his parent’s abandonment is to be special in every way, and choosing to discard love and seek power and control - a place where he is not rejected at all.

Snape is different from both Harry and Voldemort is that he specifically rejects his abusive father, having known him. As a child, he is seen wearing his mother’s clothes, only with an overlong coat that might belong to his father on a hot sunny day. As per Pottermore, he occasionally got whipped - so one can assume the coat is to hide that. Harry identifies strongly to Snape wearing overlong clothes that don’t quite fit him - a clear sign of neglect, if anything else. The fact that he wears his mother’s smock (and is willing to comfortably wear it in private with Lily in the scene before Hogwarts express) is an interesting detail to me. It feels like a rejection of his father and a sense of identification with his mother. With a person who he is comfortable with, he cuts an "impressive figure" with his smock. We see this detail pop up again in his textbook - where he is proud of being “Half A Prince”, emphasizing his magical lineage, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home.

Snape rejects his father (implied to be a violent man) by also rejecting hypermasculinity - as he tells sneeringly to James Potter: “If you’d rather be brawny, rather than brainy-” and by mocking “foolish wand waving” and how Potions is much more complex than that ("bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses" - thanks for some sensual imagery, Snape :D). His skillset, with the exception of Sectumsempra, is further testament to his rejection of hypermasculinity: Potions (a witches’ brew), spying (again, noted to be something women were famous for in war), branches of mind magic such as Occlumency. He is also strongly associated with mother figures - Eileen Prince (by his own admission), Lily Potter, Narcissa Malfoy. He has a feminine Patronus, in memory of his love and devotion to Lily. The insults also thrown his way are also emasculating: “Snivellus” “a lapdog”, and Dumbeldore’s own “a basket dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort”. So if he rejects his own father, who does he look to as a male figure to model himself after? After all, he does discard the smock quite eagerly when he gets on Hogwarts Express - so he is keen to perform masculinity.

But we see that teenage Snape and Adult Snape are entirely two different personas. Teenage Snape is anxious, twitchy and walks around like a spider. He swears, he is barely in control of his emotions, is often rendered incoherent when he is emotional and lashes out. And he lashes out in ways that is reflective of a power dynamic he models from home: he feels small, so he will look for someone else to make feel small.

Adult Snape, save for being around Harry where he regresses, is the opposite. He glides when he walks or "swoops like a bat" and if you see him in scenes apart from Harry’s, he is very in control of himself and his jabs are intended to discomfit rather than lashing out. (See the Bellatrix scene in Spinner’s End).

We don’t know too much about this phase of life - we can only speculate. Adult Snape has choice words to say when he witnesses Harry's lack of control over his emotions. He may have been speaking of himself: "Fools who wear their heart proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers!"

Speculation aside, what we do know is that teenage Snape shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult. He also shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.

I believe Voldemort, as the man who has experimented with boundaries of magic in ways no one else has, is an attractive father figure for someone like Snape ( and Barty Jr. as well). After all, Snape spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has a genuine thirst for learning and is inventive and original. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. Voldemort, as a man who pushed boundaries, is an attractive mentor who shows him a new path. Joining a cult not only gives you power and protection (one he desperately needs because of his social inferiority and as someone who is relentlessly bullied), but it also gives you an identity.

Cults usually instill a homogenous, stable identity centered around charismatic leader. Cults turn your unbearable feelings (sense of rejection, social inferiority), and externalise it and manage to a higher purpose. A cult acts as a safe container for people who cannot understand their trauma or overpowering feelings. As a boy with an unstable identity, it is easier for him to project on Voldemort and re-enact an attachment that he has rejected in early childhood: the one with his father. Voldemort also reinforces a world view that the system had taught a half blood working class boy with nowhere to go arrives at: "There is no good or evil. There is only power and those too weak to seek it".

And then, Voldemort does something Snape doesn't believe a father figure could do, something he cannot conform to or abide by - he threatens the only relationship in his life that he puts on a pedestal. To ensure Lily Potter’s survival beyond asking Voldemort (who he no longer trusts to keep his word), he goes to Dumbledore. Why doesn't he trust Voldemort to keep his word? We don't really know, but given the dynamics we see at play in the first chapter of DH, where Voldemort employs Legliemency to confirm the information from Snape, the trusted spy who at that point had killed Dumbledore - it is safe to say ruling through absolute control can only take you so far. Contrast this with his later scenes with Dumbledore, where Dumbledore trusts him with magic he does not trust himself with: "I am very fortunate that I have you, Severus" .

But before we get there, we see their first scene. In his very first scene with Dumbledore, there is a power dynamic established. He visibly shrinks from Dumbledore’s judgement: “you disgust me”. He is also "stricken" when Dumbledore says "perhaps we sort too soon" - indicating a need for Dumbledore’s approval and validation. (Dumbledore’s own reaction to Snape is interesting - he doesn’t express this kind of strong disgust with Fenrir Greyback in HBP, for example. Perhaps he sees something of himself in this man who lost his way?)

Their next scene together is a grief stricken Snape, who has turned his misery and self loathing inwards and wishes to die. Dumbledore is cold, harsh: “What use will that be to anyone? If you truly loved Lily Evans, your way forward is clear”. Once Snape accepts the path of atonement Dumbledore lays out for him, Dumbledore is demonstrably gentler with him and is even exasperated that Snape asks him to keep “the very best of him” between them.

Once Dumbledore becomes his new father figure, Snape’s loyalty to him is absolute. He will back up and defend Dumbledore where it is not even required - when people accuse Dumbledore in GOF of being unfair, Snape is quick to say: "Don't blame Dumbledore for Potter's lack of respect for school rules. Potter has been crossing lines ever since he first came" (Defending Dumbledore and insulting Harry, he has a talent lol). And at the end of GOF, he shows his Dark Mark to Cornelius Fudge, essentially outing himself as a former Death Eater, to back up Dumbledore's claims because Fudge was insulting him. Even in front of Bellatrix, he emphasises: "Dumbledore is a great wizard, yes he has - the Dark Lord acknowledges it".

He is also resentful of Dumbledore's trust in Harry with secrets that he is not privy to. He enjoys being Dumbledore's closest confidant..("why may I not have the same secrets?" "You trust him, you do not trust me"). It's a less intense version of Harry's "This isn't love, this mess he has left me in. He shared a damn sight of what he was thinking with Grindelwald than with me”. He angrily tells Fake Moody that Dumbledore happens to trust him and he "refuses to believe" he gave permission to search his office. Similarly, he tells Umbridge "jerkily" to ask Dumbledore why he doesn't have the DADA job. Snape is offended at any suggestions of Dumbledore's lack of trust in him.

He also has a similar disillusionment like Harry's with Dumbledore - "you have used me. I have spied for you, lied for you, all intended to keep Lily Potter's son safe and now you are telling me he is being raised like a pig for slaughter". All of this and yet, just like Harry, he chooses to do what Dumbledore would have wanted of him. He goes as far as committing a sort of patricide, just like his former father figure (who did it for different reasons) on the wishes of his current father figure.

And ultimately, he chose Dumbledore's plan of Greater Good rather than Lily's fierce intention of keeping her son alive. It’s also interesting that Dumbledore, a queer, non conforming man is what Snape ultimately chooses as a father /mentor to his path of atonement.

There is a cyclical projection of father among all three boys: Harry inadvertently projects a desire for a father figure on Snape when he wishes that the Half-Blood Prince was his dad. (Read more about Harry’s relationship with Prince in wonderful meta by @thedreamermusing here) Snape projects a wish for a father figure by projecting on to Voldemort. Ultimately, both of them project this desire onto Dumbledore, and it is Dumbledore who ends up being the ultimate guide and father figure for both of them, guiding them through their respective roles in the war.

Thank you to @thedreamermusing and pet_genius for the inputs for this post 🌻 here is a suggested reading from pet's treasure trove relevant to this meta: Death Eaters As A Cult.

[warm-like-autumn]

Little Witch academia theories

Since now there's the possibility of an upcoming Lwa season I thought it was the perfect time to share this theory I've had for a long time, along with what I think the upcoming season could be about, possible episode ideas and… maybe future villains. And as I’m rewatching this show , I developed this theory that I had for a long time and even came up with ideas for the new season and what it could be about.Let's speculate!!

My main theory is about Croix Meridies and how she could possibly be related to the Hanbridge family.

This might be me over analysing things, but after seeing someone on Tumblr point out to how similar Andrew and Croix's eyes are, I believe they are connected in some way, but the creators didn't have time to develop on that. Especially in how in ep 24, there was put a strong emphasis on both of their eyes. In a scene that was supposed to parallel their reactions.Especially in a show like Lwa, where all the important characters have unique eye shapes that match their personality, having two important characters have the same eye shape and the same eye color raises some questions.

And this is not the only evidence I have to Croix being related to the Hanbridge family. In episode 19, Andrew even states that him and Diana are sort of related. And now on to the Paul Hanbridge part, it would be weird for a man who claims to dislike magic so much to be related to witches. So, what if his wife was a witch, because I think there's a reason we never saw Andrew's mother, and even though we don't see all of the characters parents and flashback moments in this show, Andrew's backstory seems to be pretty important and his father is always present throughout the story.

And for a father that is so strict it raises some questions that his mother is absent. So what if his mother is… dead, and what if her death had to do something with witchcraft, possibly being a reason why Paul hates witchcraft and forced his son to have the same opinions , thinking magic is a dead practice, and his hatred seems too personal to be political in the first place.

Another interesting factor is how Paul's hatred for witches seems to be different from Blackwell's hatred for witches. Whereas Paul's reasons are more justified since he hates the art, not the artist and thinks magic and witches are outdated and have no place in the modern age, Blackwell holds this opinion out of pure bigotry.

And as much as he hates witches, Paul still tries to keep a good relation with them, even if trying to "keep his enemies in debt"

as he says in ep 6 and he seems to have had a good relation with witches and Luna Nova for a long time. So something must have happened along the way for him to hate witches and that something may involve… his wife. What if witches or witchcraft were involved in his wife's death.

And this gets us to the important part of the theory, Croix and how she could possibly be Paul's daughter. What if Andrew isn't the only child Paul has, and this theory is plausible since Croix is around 28 years old,(she graduated in 2007, the anime takes place somewhere around 2017)

and Paul seems to be around his middle or late 50s, basically old enough to be her father. Another piece of evidence I have to that is how there not anything known about Croix's past before she joined Luna Nova, and despite her achievements and the fact that she was described as a "magic prodigy" she was also described as timid and reserved during high-school days, and back then she wasn't as confident and over the top villainous as she is today, her stance being much more distant and reserved, compared to Chariot, who was much more extroverted, even a bit of a show of, always surrounded by people.

She seemed as if she was hiding from something… or someone. What if Croix ran away from home in order to pursue witchcraft, since Paul could have been just as strict about witchcraft to her as he is to Andrew.

And it would make Andrew and Paul's connection to the Chariot and Croix storyline deeper and better, since even the magic shop owner was more relevant to the plot than those two at this point, and they acted as spectators in the second half of the story. Another interesting factor is how Paul constantly says that magic is dead ,obsolete and not necessarily in modern times, while Croix's main motivation is to prove that this exact thing is wrong and that magic is still useful by fusing it with science. And think about it for a second, the damage Croix's monsters did, how Croix fueling the protests for her experiments almost sparked into ww3, all of these things affect the government, which Paul is a part of. Her villain plan might have also been a revenge plan at her father, for being an awful parental figure.

On top of that, neither Andrew or Paul ever directly interacted with Croix or even saw her, and all of the important characters saw Croix and interacted with her, except those two. And at the end of episode 25, right after Croix was arrested and left the scene, Andrew appeared, almost as if the creators didn't want the two characters to interact just yet.

And knowing that Andrew and Diana are cousins, this would also make Croix be part of the Cavendish family, Meridies being possibly a fake name she took to distance herself from both of the well known powerful families. Andrew and Diana often parallel each other in the show, and Croix and her relationship to Chariot is also supposed to be a foil to Akko and her relationship with Diana. Therefore Andrew and Croix were supposed to be a foil to each other, Croix kind of showing Andrew what can happen if he quietly held a grudge against his father and not standing up to him at the right time for two long until he eventually could snap and do the same thing as Croix. Her story of being misunderstood,missguided, filled with jealousy could serve as a cautionary tail.

And Croix being Paul’s daughter would also make sense given her overambitious personality and her constant need of validation from others , including Profesor Woodward and desire to be on top.All of these factors could have easily shaped her into the sort of person that despite having good intentions doesn't have the best ways of achieving them , often putting others in danger to do so.Her being Paul’s daughter would also make sense of why she is jealous of Chariot , since Chariot not only has the shiny rod , but also support from others and appreciation .

A reason my theory could work is how Andrew was originally supposed to be Akko’s love interest , but the creator of the show , Yoh Yoshinari scrapped that sconcept at the request of staff and voice actor , he ended up making Akko a “girl who’s not interested in boys” , so Andrew needed a new purpose in the story , and maybe him discovering Croix is his sister and potentially also becoming a wizard could be those purposes , since they already been kinda set up.

But this theory also raises some questions .How did Andrew’s mother die?Is Andrew a wizard?Did he know he had an older sister? These could be interesting themes to explore in the potential upcoming season .Other things that would be cool to see in this potential season what happened after the missile, Croix redemption arc, my theory becoming cannon and Croix and Chariot having to deal with the mistakes they made, how Akko feels about all of these, and more stuff with the nine new witches, are they considered like superheroes, are they famous now??

Now , onto what the upcoming season could potentially be about :

- As I stated in my theory , Croix and Andrew having to deal with the fact that they are siblings

-Croix redemption arc , maybe more development with her relationship with Ursula/Chariot

-Maybe another episode focused on nightfall , maybe Akko using a spell to make the Nightfall characters real for Lotte’s birthday.

-More flashbacks about Chariot and Croix’s years as Luna Nova students

-Lore behind the golden age of magic and the nine new witches

-New villains

-Return of the shiny rod , but in a unique way

-Maybe the stories could deal with Arthurian Mythos via Appleton Academy

-Male Wizards , maybe more episodes with Andrew and Frank

-More action scenes and serious moments

-The preparation for the spring festival mentioned at the end of episode 25

-More references to other pieces of media (maybe more kingsman , marvel and star wars references as well…)

I should go in depth with some of these aspects :

1.For example , even after episode 25 showed everyone cheering for the 7 witches,they were happy and cheering because otherwise the missile would have killed everyone.They now are happy that they are saved by the witches , and possibly entering a new age of magic , but what if somehow , it is discover that it was because of Croix’s magic that the missile attack almost happened in the first place.How would they react knowing a single witch was capable of such a feast.Especially how would the politicians react.Because at the end of episode 25,Paul was willing to learn more about Andrew’s opinions about witchcraft and even be open to it .But maybe after he finds out the truth about the missile attack,his hatred for witchcraft is even more reinforced , maybe ruining all the progress Andrew has been trying to make in teaching his father about magic ,for him to hate it even more now.Maybe it would even push him to become a villain in the show.

2.Another idea for a villain in the upcoming season I theorize about is Daryl , Diana’s aunt , even though she was kinda redeemed by the end of the season , she is a strange figure , possibly using dark magic , maybe after Diana became head of the Cavendish family , Daryl does not agree with some of Diana’s ways of improving the Cavendish family title and returns to villany , maybe serving as a possible introduction to dark magic (Like she literally can go through walls and has a snake as a pet AND HER EYES GLOW RED)

3.After rewatching episode 17 (Amanda O’Neill and the holy grail) I came up with this silly idea for a plotline , what if that episode wasn't just about an epic fight scene and showing us Croix’s first experiment test , but set up something even more interesting.Even if the title of the episode is a reference to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” , in the Arturian legend of the holy grail it is Galahad the knight who is chosen to find the Holy Grail. Galahad, in both the Lancelot-Grail cycle and in Malory's retelling, is exalted above all the other knights: he is the one worthy enough to have the Holy Grail revealed to him and to be taken into Heaven , so Galahad is the one to have found the holy grail.And for a first test , Croix’s monster worked quite well , and we also know in Lwa , spirits and ghosts exist and they tend to attach themselves to objects.And if Croix’s pixels were in the grail before Louis broke it , why didn't they start working yet.My theory is that Galahad’s ghost was attached to the Holy Grail and the cubes only powered the ghost up , making it able to separate form the grail ,but decided to stay still until Louis broke the grail , pissing the ghost of Galahad off and thus punishing Louis by possessing a nearby knight armor along with Blackwell himself, combining both into a violent berserker.After Amanda destroyed the armor she could’ve weakened the ghost of Galahad , thus everything instantly went back to normal , but what if the ghost started regaining strength , adjusting to life not being attached to the grail , but planning to stroke again , to punish Louis and the other students of Appleton for ruining the reputation of the school with their hatred for witches .Appleton academy could possibly have lore connected to Arthurian legend to it , with how much they hold the importance of tradition , duels , and gentleman like behaviour , almost knight-like.Maybe the next season could have a plotline that involves stopping the Ghost of Galahad.

4.Last but not least , even after the shiny rod vanished in episode 25 , i think there is a way for it to return without ruining the impact it had in the show. There are seven words of arcturus , and seven of the Luna Nova students are part of the nine new witches , right ?So since the rod became a constellation at the end of the show , seven of those stars could be the seven words , so what if each of the seven words materializes as weapon of their own on earth and each of the seven witches(Akko ,Diana, Lotte,Sucy, Amanda , Constanze , Jasminka) get one of the seven words that became weapons .Because even if the rod disappeared , it came to Akko’s help in a different way , since even if the quest to bringing a new age of magic is far from complete.

[robininthelabyrinth]

AU where the Nie clan has dragon blood in their lineage, and usually it just manifests as bad temper and a generally martial inclination. Except, once in a rare while, generations apart, an actual dragon will be born among them... (aka nobody really expected that NHS was the latest Nie dragon).

The Nie sect’s ancestors were butchers; that lowly heritage is well known and widely celebrated, much to the not-entirely-concealed disdain of some of the more refined, gentlemanly sects. Butchers at home and butchers at war – everyone knows that.

What’s rather less well known is that the third sect leader, colloquially known among his descendants as ‘that idiot’, rather heroically saved an imperial princess in battle and then – and this was why he was that idiot – married her. She was a proper princess, too, the true-born daughter of the emperor; other sects might see that as a good thing, since for all that cultivation sects saw themselves as being above petty things like the politics of the common folk, a princess was still a princess.

The Nie did not.

The reason for this was quite simple. What does a cultivation style that already incorporates an increased chance of death through anger most assuredly does not need?

The blood of the eight-clawed dragon, that’s what.

Arrogant, explosive, unruly –

It was a mess.

The sixth sect leader came up with the saber halls to honor his father and grandfather – most especially his grandfather, who’d had a bad tendency towards slit-pupiled eyes when he’d been especially enraged, and whose saber had absorbed every ounce of his ferocity – and the next few generations made a point of finding especially meek daughters or sons for their children to marry, and that was that; everyone hoped that that idiot’s mistake could be diluted out of existence.

It was, for the most part. 

But every few generations, imperial blood ran true, and not only in terms of majesty or arrogance, and then the entire sect had to close its doors to the outside world and pretend with all their might that no, of course there wasn’t a rampaging beast of an especially draconic variety raging behind the extremely sturdy walls of the Unclean Realm, what nonsense that would be.

Still, if Lao Nie had to wager on one of his children being a dragon, he probably would have put money on it being his firstborn: already far too tall for his age, a brilliant prodigy with his saber, and a temper that rivaled some of the older members of the clan.

Certainly not Huaisang.

The only time that child hadn’t been a disappointment was when he was a baby: he’d been remarkably lazy even back then, sleeping more hours of the day than he didn’t even past infancy, and what had been a relief to his nursemaids quickly turned to annoyance by everyone else. It was commonly believed that such a weak and unlively child was likely to grow up to be slow-witted and dull, and, worse, the doctors confirmed his muscle tone was underdeveloped; even with a great deal of practice, he would likely always be a bit behind those his own age.

As he grew older, his penchant of sleeping twenty hours out of every day got even more noticeable, and the family largely lost interest.

Well, most of them. His older brother, who’d quietly taken on the responsibility for caring for Huaisang when no one else in the family had had the time or, truthfully, the interest in the disappointing son of an especially fortunate (unfortunate?) family maid-turned-concubine, indulged him far too much, even carrying him from place to place.

“You’re not a mule, Mingjue,” Lao Nie scolded one day, reinforcing the lesson through swipes of the flat of his saber. “Have some dignity! If Huaisang wants to go places, he can damn well walk there himself!”

Nie Mingjue bowed his head, obedient and filial in every way except for the fact that he didn’t listen; if anything, it got even worse from that point on, the boy barely being seen anywhere without a napping toddler as an accoutrement.

“Did you hear what I said?” Lao Nie roared at him.

“I’m not a mule,” Nie Mingjue recited. “If he wants to go places, he can walk there himself.”

“If you heard me and persisted regardless, you’re undisciplined,” Lao Nie said, arms crossed.

“I accept whatever punishment is appropriate,” Nie Mingjue said, and that was most irritating of all: why would his otherwise perfect eldest son insisted on being beaten once a week when all he had to do was leave that useless lump behind in his rooms, where he’d be happier anyway? It wasn’t as though Nie Huaisang even wanted to be outside: sometimes it seemed he’d only learned to talk in order to complain about how uncomfortable he was, how hot, how sweaty – and he even had the gall to keep complaining even after his older brother fetched a fan for him, like a loyal dog.

Discipline was paramount in the Nie sect; to be undisciplined is to risk being monstrous, and with their cultivation style they could not tolerate such a thing. That was why their punishments were so strict, even if the rules were relatively sparse - more principle than rule, really. But on the other hand, their family had always been the sort that would rather break than bend: if Nie Mingjue wanted to pay for his willfulness by accepting punishments, he was entitled to do so.

Still – there was punishment, and there was wanton cruelty; at some point, one of the men in the punishment hall abandoned the former for the latter. He was a popular man, the son of another sect’s diplomat that had married a close cousin of the main family and stayed in Qinghe; for some reason he’d developed an intense dislike of Nie Mingjue – a dislike which was mutual, and likely to cause trouble in the future when Nie MIngjue became Sect Leader, but which currently put Nie MIngjue in a very bad position given the man’s status as his elder.

Lao Nie only learned about the whole matter much later, and when he did he was so spitting mad he grabbed his saber and would have spitted the man on it, cousin or no cousin, if he hadn’t been held back; but at the time he had no idea, busy as he was defending the borders of his lands against troubles caused by that ever-smiling bastard Wen Ruohan.

When he did hear about it, though, he was infuriated: his son and heir had been beaten three times the usual amount, a compilation of a thousand little offenses that could only technically be termed breaches of discipline, forced to complete several dozen of their most demanding exercises, and then made to kneel outside on the hottest day of the year; to no one’s surprise, he had eventually collapsed rather than yield and beg for mercy, his skin cracking and lips starting to bleed as his consciousness left him.

He was after all a Nie. 

Who knows how far that bastard might have gone, his eyes fixed on a prize he would never inherit with his outsider’s surname, if Nie Huaisang hadn’t been there, tucked away curled up underneath a shady tree and made to watch despite Nie Mingjue’s request that he be sent back to his rooms.

Those who were near enough to see – and Lao Nie had plans to punish the whole lot of them for not having interfered: what was the point of a clan motto that prioritized justice and suppression of evil no matter what the consequences if they would allow it to happen in their own damn home? – said that it didn’t happen at once, that there was a pause when Nie Mingjue’s body hit the ground; perhaps it was only that Nie Huaisang was slow to realized what was happening.

Perhaps it just took a while for the change to happen.

Either way, everyone agreed on what happened next: the unfurling of a serpentine body twice the length of a fully grown man, although only about as wide around as a goat, a red-eyed glare that was backed with teeth and claw, and a roar of challenge at anyone who even thought about pulling Nie Mingjue’s body away from the center of those coils.

Apparently Nie Huaisang had needed all that sleep because he was still growing. Who would have known?

It was the youngest full transformation they’d ever had in their clan by far. The boy hadn’t even reached the age of three!

“If he’s stopped sweating, he has heatstroke,” Lao Nie told his apparently not useless younger son, having been urgently summoned to the training field. “He needs to be taken inside at once; you’re only making things worse.”

Nie Huaisang bared his teeth at him, and Lao Nie bared his teeth right back.

He might not be a dragon, but his son’s blood had come from somewhere.

“I am your father,” he snarled. “You will listen to me and obey. You hear me? You will get off of him this instant. If he doesn’t get water soon, he will die.”

Lao Nie will never know if it was the demand for filial piety or the threat to Nie Mingjue’s life that got Nie Huaisang to comply – he suspected the latter – but Nie Huaisang gave in and backed off, allowing the clan’s medics to rush over and take Nie Mingjue away.

Lao Nie looked at the dragon, thinking to himself that the vastness of the underground caverns beneath the Unclean Realm weren’t for nothing: if this was what a two-year-old dragon looked like, he’d be a full-fledged calamity when full grown.

His saber itched in his palm at the thought, but he ignored it. The embarrassing yao-derived portion of their bloodline aside, the Nie sect set itself against evil, and Nie Huaisang was lazy, not evil.

“This is going to be trouble,” he finally said. “It can’t be allowed to get out.”

You can’t go out, he meant, but maybe Nie Huaisang in all his laziness wouldn’t mind being restricted to the Unclean Realm. Maybe, if they were lucky, they could teach him to like paintings and books instead, since he could never be allowed out to join a proper battlefield.

He’d be locked at home forever, unless the Sect Leader decided otherwise - and that meant Lao Nie would be the one responsible for it.

Ancestor or not, damn that idiot. 

In the end, Nie Huaisang didn’t respond to him at all, merely took to the air – flying must be inherent, since he didn’t seem especially bothered by what should be something brand new – and headed inwards, aiming towards…

His brother’s bedroom.

Not really a surprise, that.

A bit of a surprise that he could find it so quickly, though, from such an unfamiliar angle…

Lao Nie’s eye twitched.

If his stubborn older son had known about this, he was going to wish he’d died of heatstroke.

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Silva Lining (Saul Silva x Reader) Chapter 18

Warnings: swearing, angst, sexual harassment? (Andreas is a creep)

Word count 2.9k

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It wasn’t a mirage, your weren’t going crazy. You couldn’t believe what your Mum was telling you.

“She just thought she killed me, I could sense you were there and I knew her true motives. Before she could strike I confused her with my magic, tricking her mind and everyone arounds minds into seeing what I made them see. In reality, I was still standing there, hidden by a vale of magic, very much alive. I’m so sorry I put you through that, but she knew you were hiding there, your reaction needed to be real or she would never had believed I was truly gone.”

You didn’t know if you were crying sad tears or happy tears, all you knew is you were relived that it was all just a cruel trick of the mind and not reality. You were exhausted and couldn’t help but yawn as you sat around the fire. Looking around you watched the withered and tired faces of your friends too, Sky, who’s hair was disheveled from the amount of times he’d ran his fingers through it, a trait he’d no doubt picked up from Silva. The other specialists, rigid and too on alert to fully relax and rest. Your Winx girls, all weary eyed and weepy from your mothers story. Sam, still rattled from his almost deadly encounter with the Burned one and then Mr Harvey, who probably had the most to worry about. His children in danger, the reappearance of his thought dead childhood friend, his missing childhood friend Silva and the fact the school is under siege. Would you ever catch a break?

Budging up and being flush, side by side next to Farah Dowling didn’t seem like a weird thing to you anymore. If anything her not so deadly death put things more into perspective for you. You would be lost without her after just finding her again. The warmth that radiated from your mother was comforting, your eyes felt heavy, but still, your mind didn’t rest. No, not without your Saul.

One by one your friends turned in, calling it a night. Now that your mother was back and had helped Ben Harvey reinforce the barrier, it might be the first night some people actually got a decent sleep. Just like old times you were sharing a room with the girls. The ‘Winx Cabin’ as Musa liked to say.

It wasn’t long before you were snuggled down under your stolen duvet, wondering about what would happen next. Surely the next step was getting Saul back, but how? Your thoughts were interrupted by your mother, approaching your bedside she dipped down. You were on the bottom bunk, Stella on top.

“I’m so proud of you, you know that. Bringing all these people to safety, finding a way to stay strong even when you thought all hope was lost. I’m sorry for what you had to see, but i’m here now and trust me, we will get Saul back.” With that she whipped the tears that fell from your eyes, kissing your forehead she whispered something you couldn’t quite make out and then before you knew it you were sleeping, for the first time in a few days.

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Saul smiled at you. The same old smile that made your heart squeeze in joy and so so so much love. You had never loved anyone or anything as much as you loved the man in front of you. You knew looking at him you would take a bullet, arrow, blast of magic, whatever it was, you would die for him.

His fingers traced the line of your jaw, calloused but at the same time soft and tender, he knew how to touch you, you were his, to him you were the most precious thing in all the worlds.

“What are you thinking about?” His rough voice made your core tingle, your nipples hardened against the light fabric of your top.

“Us, how much I love you, how i’d do anything for you.” His eyebrow raised and he couldn’t help but smile. If he felt anything like how you felt in that moment, his heart would be beating 2x faster and his emotions would be overwhelming.

“Before I met you, I didn’t really believe in Soulmates. I knew they were a thing, just like i’m a Specialist and you’re a Fairy, but part of me thought it couldn’t be real, maybe because I didn’t think I deserved someone as amazing and loving as you, but now I know, I know that all this time I’d been wrong. I love you more than you could ever know Y/N.”

Lately you were used to waking up with tears in your eyes but your pillow was soaked. You’d been crying in your sleep, your eyes were bloodshot red and your nose blocked. God, another memory. Your heart was starting to physically hurt from being away from Saul. Maybe it was a soulmate thing? You had to get him back. It had to be today, you couldn’t wait any longer.

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“You can’t just barge in there without a plan, it’s a suicide mission!” Your friends were having none of it. You’d decided that you were travelling to wherever the hell the Royal prison was and you were going to get your man back. Your mother had seen where they had taken him, being a mind fairy had its uses.

“Well you’re more than welcome to come with me, but I need to get him back, I can’t wait any longer! God knows what he’s going through and i’m not just going to sit here and wait for someone else to swoop in and save the day. It’s not going to happen!” You looked at all of your friends, they all had people now, boyfriends, people they were getting to know, they should know how it felt, even if it was just a fraction of what you felt for Saul.

“Terra what would you do if it was Helia, or Stella, what if it was Brandon! I could go on and on but you know what i’m getting at. If it were any of you in the situation, you’d be doing the same thing!” The shouting had attracted the rest of the camp, the Specialists running over to see what all the commotion was.

“You know, I agree with Y/N.” You were certain that Sky would have your back, even though he was fighting with his emotions as well, Saul was more a father to him than Andreas, he’d been alive this whole time and instead of seeking out Sky, spent his years fathering Beatrix instead.

“But first, I think we need to get a few things.”

With that, a plan was set in motion. As all good plans went by teenagers, it was on a need to know basis, which meant the adults… didn’t need to know. They would stop you if they knew what you were planning which is exactly what you didn’t need right now.

The plan was simple. Well, it seemed simple. You, Bloom, Stella, Sky and Sam would go through one of your portals back to Alfea for the supplies that you’d need to get Saul back. It was a risky plan, but everything you needed was in your Suite. You’d be in and out before anyone knew you were there.

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The castle seemed quiet. The whole atmosphere seemed different since you’d last been at your school. It looked darker, less vibrant, sad almost. Everyone would be in bed by now which gave you the perfect opportunity to get in and get out again. Your portal had opened right in the centre of the living room. Your heart shattered when you noticed things out of place, up turned furniture, items strewn across the room. It wasn’t as bad as you’d expected though.

Sky and Bloom stood watch at the suite door while you got to work. First you’d need a bag, luckily your man had no shortage of military grade duffle bags laying around. Next, Sauls wardrobe, you grabbed some outfits for him, packing jackets, shoes, boots, the lot, not knowing where you might have to run to next. Then it came to weapons. The vault didn’t look like it had been tampered with. You looked sheepishly at Stella and Sam when they let out a low whistle. Impressed. Wait until they saw what was inside.

The code hadn’t changed for as long as you’d known the vault to an entire bedroom war room existed. The date Saul found you crying over one of the monsters your father had created and Rosalind had used, even before you found out you harnessed ancient magical abilities. With a click, the door swung open and you listened for the sure gasp of your friends behind you.

Guns lined one wall, Knives another. You went over and clicked a button on a hidden panel and even more sections of room appeared. Multiple stacks of uniform, cash, smaller objects like tiny daggers, grenades and smoke bombs and even some tactical equipment like ear pieces and tiny cameras. Your man had everything, was he a Specialist, a spy, an evil hit man? Who knew when you looked at his haul. It was pretty impressive. Each with a bag, you started filling up with everything you could take, swords, guns, even the little things. Anything that would help you in your quest to getting back the man you loved with every fibre of your being.

After you’d cleared out the vault and heaved the bags into the centre of the room, you packed a bag for yourself, you didn’t want to have to steal again just to get clean clothes, plus, it would be nice to have some home comforts. You saw Stella eyeing up your stuff, it hit you. You suddenly felt guilty.

“If were quick me and Sam could go and grab some clothes and personal things from the Winx suit, but not a lot okay. We’ve already been here too long.” She nodded and smiled gratefully. Bringing Sam was a brilliant idea, his ability to walk through walls would no doubt prove to be useful over and over.

You met him in the dorm, your swirling black portal closing behind you with a swoosh. Nothing was out of place, un-like yours and Sauls suite. It was as if time had just stood still. You both wasted no time, as quickly as you could the packing began, clothes for each of the girls, Stella’s makeup bag, Musa’s tapes, Terras travel bag of potions and powders as she liked to call it, Blooms sketchbooks and Aisha’s books.

Looking at the time you cursed in annoyance. You wanted to get things for the Specialists, Mr Harvey and your mum too but there was just no time, you had to get back to the others. With the bags, you and Sam in the middle of the room, the portal opened around you and you were sucked into the darkness.

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“Well, look what we have here. I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to come back so soon. Theres me thinking Saul used to go for the smart girls, obviously I was mistaken.” You froze as you stepped out of the darkness. Andreas. His sword was flush against Skys neck, Bloom and Stella pinned to the wall by some of his royal guard goons.

“Drop the sword, we both know you’d never hurt your own son.” His mouth cocked to one side in an evil smirk. Your hands flexed at your sides. You were ready for a fight, lord knows you needed to take your anger out on someone.

“That’s where you’re mistaken.” To emphasise, he pressed the sword harder against his sons neck, small beads of blood pooling around the broken skin.

By now, your eyes were as black as the night sky. You could tell the sight had unnerved the guards, their hold on your friends loosening.

In a flash Stella warned you to close your eyes and her light erupted around the room stunning those who didn’t react fast enough. Luckily, you and your friends knew what she was doing and the only ones effected were the people it was intended for. It didn’t stop Andreas from charging forward though, his heavy muscled body colliding with yours, sending you flying to the floor with a hard thud. Your ears were ringing, the knock to your head making you feel like a cartoon with tweety birds flying around. With blurry eyes you could see Bloom and Sky fighting off the Royal Guards, while Sam and Stella were running to you. Andreas got to you first, landing his fist on the side of your mouth, his body coming over yours, pinning you down, straddling your waist.

“I see what Silva saw in you, pretty little thing.” His breath fanned across your face, his tongue sneaked out between his chapped lips and darted across your cheek, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “Too bad, when i’m done with you, you won’t be so pretty anymore.” His fist came back again, but this time you were ready. Sauls fight training kicked in, you bucked him off you and rolled away from under him, it surprised him which you used to your advantage. Your hands thrown forward, black tendrils of your smoky magic sprung free, encasing Andreas. They wrapped around him like vines, tightening, his arms unable to lift from his sides. With one flick of your wrist, you sent his body hurtling into the wall. Then there was silence.

Bloom and Sky had taken down the Guards, Stella and Sam had gathered all of the supplies and you, you looked around at what was left of the room you once shared with your Saul. Meeting in the middle, you took Skys hand as he took one last look at his unconscious traitor of a father, before you all sank away into the abyss and back to the safety of your camp.

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The camp was just as quiet as the school had been. There was no way they could have found you, right? You’d half expected your mum and Harvey to be screaming at you by now but the screaming didn’t come. Instead, raised voices could be heard beyond the barrier that protected you all from whatever was out there. This couldn’t be good. One knee to the ground, you were unzipping a bag with weapons, passing them out to those around you. Swords for you and Sky, a gun for Sam, Bloom opted for her magic and Stella, Stella had her badass ring, which before now you didn’t know doubled as a frikin magical sun staff? She shrugged when you looked at her.

“We will be talking about this later you secret sun ninja.” You jumped when the voices got louder. Following the direction of the heated talking, it didn’t take you long before you saw…actually, you weren’t sure what you were seeing.

A man and a woman dressed in some weird sort of black armour, face to face with your mother, the other Winx girls, the specialists and Mr Harvey. Now you as well. Your appearance attracted the gaze of the scary looking strangers. You raised your sword.

“Who are you and what the hell do you want, it’s been a long fucking night and I can’t deal with anymore shit right now.” You groaned, holding your head, a pain blooming behind your eyes, that fight with Andreas must have done more damage than you thought.

“Princess, we come in peace. We are mere messengers sent by your father, King Tenebris. You are all in danger, in 30 minutes royal troops will descend on your camp, we’ve been monitoring the situation. Rosalind deceived your father and now he wants to make amends with you. You are in danger if you stay here. Please come with us.” Information overload or what. You scoffed. These people and your father were just as bad as bloody Rosalind, why should you believe them?

“Why should we trust you, when all my father did was send the burned ones to attack my school!” The female guard took a confident step forward and held out her hand.

“An hour ago, your father ordered a specialist trained team of dark guards to extract Saul Silva from the Royal prison of Solaria. He is waiting for you at your fathers castle where you are all invited for safe housing.” Your heart felt like it skipped a few beats, how did you know it wasn’t a trick?

“He said you’d think it was a trick, he asked me to give you this.” In her hand, the dog tags Saul wore everyday. He never took them off, you touched the diamond ones around your neck. They were telling the truth. You looked to Musa and your mum, the mind fairies nodded, conforming the truth.

A booming sound ricocheted through out the forest. Time was up, it was time to go get your man.

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Heyyyyy! So, a lot went on in this chapter but I hoped you enjoyed! We get our Saul back next chapter yipeeeee <3 Bit of a longer one for you as a sorry for my lack of posting recently!

Let me know what you think in the comments, like, share and FOLLOW ME <3

CHAPTER 19 ------ CLICK HERE

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[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 269 “Wilk’s way of doing things”

So we’re finally dealing with a new chapter in which we can say...

...yeah, poor Wilk... as while yes, he was also responsible for his own downfall, what happened to him was surely terrible.

The first page is a quick summary of how the Ainu killed each over conveniently letting Wilk alive and not having him kill a single soul.

For start we can see Wilk is the only one who’s apparently without a rifle (his right hand looks empty at least). We can also see that the group split basically in two, a part is pro-Wilk (or, at least, let’s-not-kill-Wilk) and the other is let’s-murder-him-right-now.

So, Irenka (pro-Wilk) places himself in front of Wilk. He has a rifle but doesn’t seem to aim to shoot anyone, just to defend Wilk and calm things down.

Oskeporo (kill-Wilk) aims at them with his rifle and is knocked out by Mesira (pro-Wilk).

Ratci (kill-Wilk), who’s a friend of Oskeporo, aims his rifle at them.

Irenka gets shoot and, same as Tamai did, as he dies accidentally shoot and seems to hit Oskeporo who, fires as well.

At this point things are a bit hazy.

Siromakur, who seemed to be in the let’s- not-kill-Wilk team before (he was shown at Wilk’s side), is shown bleeding from a hole in his chest. Was he the one hit by Oskeporo. The guy is supported or used as a human shield by Sukuta. We see a knife in the image but that one is actually Siromaku’s if the  draws on the handle has to be believed. It’s clear Siromakur isn’t the one holding it as we can see both his arms so they probably took it from him.

The next image shows us Ratci firing, the knife in his belly.

The very last image shows Oskeporo and Sukuta on the ground, likely dead.

Yeah, there’s plenty of holes in this page who’s just meant to drive home Wilk didn’t kill anyone, the other Ainu just started shooting, some by purpose, some by accident, some in self defence.

Possibly Siromakur didn’t kill anyone either, I’m not sure.

The image is not really clear on what exactly happened because Noda wants to keep it secret some details for a little longer.

Anyway we see Ratci crawling away and, interesting enough, two more bullets being shoot behind him. He also hears something being said but we don’t get what it was.

The only Ainu of the rebels group that weren’t shown dying or being wounded to death was Mesira… but it’s hard to tell if he didn’t go shoot earlier since the images showed us so little.

We flash forward a little to Kikuta questioning a dying Ratci, asking him if Wilk was killed too and if others survived. Ratci dies before answering and the group then collects his body along with the heads of the other 6 Ainu, which were cut from their bodies. The total dead count is 7.

Usami wonders about who chopped their bodies since there should have been 7 Ainu and now their heads are all accounted for.

He tries to pick up Irenka’s head to see the head slip out of the skin which is something I expected. Usami figures out all the heads were skinned and the skins swapped around. He also notices the heads are missing eyes.

All this doesn’t faze Tsurumi in the slightest. He correctly figures one of those skinned head should have belonged to Kimuspu, which would mean that there were 8 Ainu.

We’ve a flashback in which Kimuspu is shown wounded and holding a rifle which means the group had keep him alive and he had taken part to the battle. That’s probably why we weren’t shown the full battle in the intro page, to hid he was involved as well.

Tsurumi, holding the head covered with Wilk’s skin in a Hamlet’s fashion, then easily sums up Wilk’s plan.

The Ainu were 8 and Wilk used Kimuspu (which nobody knew was among them) to fake his own death.

The eyes were then removed because Wilk’s eyes were distinctive.

He then seems to kiss Wilk’s skin… and I’m starting to think this might be where his affinity with Edogai was born.

We’re then shown the cover...

...and it’s an image we should be very familiar with as we saw it in chap 1 and used again when Inkarmat wanted to push fowward her Kiro culprit theory in chap 116.

The Ainu are on the ground and a man, Nopperabou, stand above them. Only this time we can see that the man standing above them is Wilk, not Kiro as Tsurumi told Inkarmat and, of course, despite surviving Wilk isn’t the one who did the killing.

Usami notices that people is coming, they’re the gold panners and the hunters who should have head the shoots during the night and are coming to check what happened.

Tsurumi split his forces, Usami is to go at the health resort facility at Noboribetsu (remember? The one in which Kikuta was) and call reinforcements while Kikuta remains there and secure the area. Tsurumi will instead pursue Wilk.

As Tsurumi leaves Usami notices Kikuta pensitive gaze. Kikuta is worried about Ariko. He wonders who will tell him the truth as he thinks Ariko will be upset to discover they were involved in his father’s death.

Usami says there’s no need to tell him as they merely told Ariko’s father about Wilk’s identity and it was the group of Ainu which tore itself apart.

Kikuta points out how their plan relied on sewing discord in the group...

...which yes, it’s true, although Tsurumi clearly didn’t want them to murder each other BEFORE confessing where the gold was. He was hoping to reach them before they all would die, this was a miscalculation on his part.

But this little scene traces a difference between Usami and Kikuta.

While Usami doesn’t really care about how this will affect others (namely Ariko) and doesn’t feel responsible for the consequences of their actions, Kikuta does.

Usami lives in denial of his own sins, where Kikuta looks straight at them, which matches with how he’s a man who told Sugimoto in hell they’ll be rolling the red carpet for him. Kikuta knows what he’s doing is wrong, Usami doesn’t even stop to think if it is, or if it can have consequences on the others.

The following scene shows Sugimoto and Shiraishi meeting up with Ariko (evidently they managed not to get discover despite their car crash… no idea how since they should have made noise worth checking… unless Nikaidou also has left his guard post?).

We also gets a panel of Kikuta looking down under the rain. No idea what he’s watching but he’s sure sad and, I bet, he’s thinking at Ariko.

The fact that he and Ariko are on the same page yet divided by the panel with Sugimoto and Shiraishi is meaningful.

There’s a tie between this two men… but there’s also something between them.

Meanwhile Tsurumi goes on in his narration.

He’s impressed by Wilk’s resolve to cut away his face. He figured Wilk, given the situation, expected to be labelled as the murderer and was worried of how this would affect Asirpa.

Thanks Tsurumi, after such a gruesome story, Asirpa really needed you to push on her the blame of her father’s actions. I get you want to manipulate her but this can also backfire because it proves Wilk’s actions were done out of love for her.

Anyway Tsurumi is just impressed by how Wilk not only came up with such plan but could also manage to carry it to execution quickly as cutting his own face off isn’t something a person would be able to do.

I agree and I would say it’s not just for the unbearable pain and the psychological trauma but also because it doesn’t seem that easy to do. I would expect a person to end up cutting a muscle or a blood vessel. But whatever, it’s a manga, and I’m not really an expert in skinned faces… and I like to remain as such, so let’s go on.

Tsurumi anyway thinks the plan was perfect if not for a detail, HE was the one chasing Wilk.

This isn’t said for a lack of modesty. Tsurumi just knew Wilk, he recognized his skinned face, he figured out his plan and, when he sees an Ainu with his face bandaged, he immediately recognizes him as Wilk due to the colour of his eyes. Another person, who had never met Wilk, might not have managed to do so.

Add to this that Wilk makes a mistake because he too recognizes Tsurumi (who back then looked a lot more like his younger self as he wasn’t disfigured yet), calling him ‘Hasegawa-san’ and giving away his identity.

Tsurumi doesn’t tell us what happened after.

There’s clearly a timeskip and then we’re shown Wilk escaping on the lake, Tsurumi shooting at him and causing Wilk to end in the water and the boat to sink.

Among the things that sank there was Kimuspu’s face, which Wilk has taken away. Tsurumi runs, trying to reach Wilk but Wilk, after discharging his Ainu clothes, is faster at reaching a prison lodge where convicts were kept illegally.

Wilk asks who’s the boss of the guards, who’s of course nothing else but ‘slave-convict-trader’ Inudou, who was of course abusing of his power to illegally use prisoners in that area as well.

Wilk tell them about the 7 dead Ainu and claims to be the one who know the location where those Ainu hid the gold.

As the 7th division couldn’t get around with the people ruling the prison the result is that the guards carry Wilk to the prison in secret and Wilk becomes Nopperabout.

Asirpa asks Sofia about Kiroranke and Sofia explains once he freed himself Kiro began to search for Kimuspu as well and, while doing so, he heard the commotion and ended up on the crime scene while the 7th division was carrying away the bodies of the Ainu. He saw Wilk’s head being carried away as well and crumbled on his knees, crying and mourning Wilk.

No matter how mad he was at Wilk for his own decision, back then Kiro was still his friend and cared for him. He even wondered if he would be able to understand him by starting his own family in Hokkaido.

However, once he was back from the Russo-Japanese war he hears the rumour that Kimuspu was among the Ainu corpses. An Ainu testified that due to him recognizing the tattoos on Kimuspu’s hands.

Due to this Kiro too starts piecing together things.

He believed the Ainu had let Kimuspu go once they gotten the location of the gold… but now that he knew they were 8 and only 7 bodies were found he believed one of them killed the other 7.

Hijikata coming to ask about Asirpa, the rumours about Nopperabou and the tattoo code… all lead Kiro to think that Wilk is Nopperabou… and, likely, that Wilk was the killer.

Kiro goes on saying despite having a family in Hokkaido he couldn’t arrive to the same conclusion as Wilk, he still believes that if the gold was used for the Far Eastern Federation this would protect the Hokkaido Ainu too.

Kiro thinks barricading themselves away was a pathetic way of thinking that would never allow them to win against Russia or Japan.

Tsurumi nods in agreement.

I’ll discuss my two cents in a while.

We’ve then a flashback in which Kiro gives the sign and Wilk is shoot and then we see Kiro’s expression.

His eyes… are void of light but not black, grey as he thinks that Wilk was a wolf within the pack who has grown weak and that therefore Kiro followed the “way of the wolves” Wilk admired and did Wilk the kindness of killing him. As he says so we see a flashback of Kiro, Wilk and Sofia drinking together and being happy, Kiro with his arm around Wilk and trying to get him to drink something and Wilk holding Kiro’s wrist.

Although Sofia is included so that they look a single unit, a single ‘body’, it’s clear the picture focuses more on Kiro and Wilk, in how they touch each other, in how their heads are close.

It’s not meant to be romantic, it’s meant to deliver how those two men were close, as close as two best friends could be in the past.

So okay, let’s go back.

I think I lost count of how many times I criticized Wilk’s plan, both the early one the ‘Far Eastern Federation’ and the new one the ‘Free Hokkaido only’ plan not because they’re wrong per se but because they’re horribly planned so this time I’ll spare you of them.

I’ll discuss a bit of the why Kiro, despite making a family in Hokkaido doesn’t just switches like Wilk.

The key is likely that Kiro, differently from Wilk, had no reason to switch.

Let’s go back a little. In the flashbacks located in Russia Wilk was presented like an idealist, his plan a beautiful utopia for which he was willing to bet his own life and the one of his teammates.

He has lost his village, likely his parents were already dead and he was on his own. Sure, he was friend with Kiro and later with Sofia but their attachment for them was, compared to his own goal, his own ideal, minor. He has devoted his life to that goal and that’s it.

And because no one is special in his eyes “All are equal” among the minorities.

That’s also what allows him to keep a cold, practical mind setting, that he doesn’t get deeply attached.

When he moved to Hokkaido he did a mistake.

Well, no, it’s not a real mistake, it’s just something that caused him to shift priorities.

He grew more attached to his wife and child than he was to his goal.

His priorities shifted and so he could sacrifice part of his goal for the benefit of his Hokkaido family, which he prioritized and, in sacrificing his goal, he accepted he could sacrifice all his Russian allies who had fought with him.

He wasn’t anymore ready to do everything he could to give ALL the minorities freedom.

He wanted to give freedom to his daughter’s minority, if the other minorities wanted to benefit of the freedom he planned to gain for the Hokkaido Ainu, they would have to come to compromise, give up their land, their customs. He would be still willing to help them but at his own conditions as they weren’t anymore part of his priorities.

It’s absolutely human… but it’s also a betrayal of the cause, of his ideal who used to held all the minorities as all EQUAL.

Now, “All are equal, but some are more equal than others.”

For Kiro instead the problem is different.

Kiro has built attachment for the Russian side, attachment that lies especially in Sofia but possibly he also had other companions he cared about. He couldn’t be as cold as Wilk, which means he was more emotionally involved in them.

In fact Kiro’s point as they argued was that “HOKKAIDO never had anything to do with them in the first place”, meaning deep down he prioritized the Russian minorities among whom he lived from childhood and fought together than Hokkaido in which he transferred only recently. He views Russia as his homeland, he views his people as the ones who live in Karafuto and in the Russian far east.

In a desperate attempt to understand Wilk he tries to build himself a home in Hokkaido… but it never worked. Contrary to what some part of the fandom thinks, Kiro NEVER sees himself as an Hokkaido Ainu, he sees his children as Hokkaido Ainu, he’s a Tartar with Karafuto blood from his grandmother side.

In short, marrying with an Ainu whom he loves and having children whom he loves helped him to INCLUDE Hokkaido in his priorities, not in demoting Russia from them.

Therefore, where Wilk started from an “All (minorities) are equal” and then moved to an “All (minorities) are equal, but some are more equal than others” Kiro did the opposite.

That’s why having an Hokkaido family doesn’t help him to embrace Wilk’s idea they should have prioritized Hokkaido but, if anything, pushes him to place Hokkaido and Russia on the same place.

He wants Sofia and Asirpa to join forces also because in this way they will become guarantors for both Russia and Hokkaido, they’ll protect the interests of both parties, of the countries he now both loves. And this too is a human view, same as Wilk’s was, even if it sits at the opposite extreme.

On a sidenote I wonder if the experience in which the Hokkaido Ainu slaughtered each other opened Wilk’s eyes and pushed him to realize that he’s an outsider, that he can’t hope he could just unite and lead them. But whatever, that’s just food for thoughts, it can be he escaped in that direction merely because it was the most convenient direction in which to escape for him and the speculations he was running in that way to bring the gold back to his Russian companions done by various cast members were just that, speculations.

Last but not least, Kiro’s reasoning as he killed Wilk.

We know that Kiro isn’t really that good at murdering people.

He can do it just fine in the heat of the battle or when he sees them as enemies (the Russian guards, the Russian soldiers) but not when he’s up close to them. He lacks Wilk’s coldness, which is what pushed him to hesitate when tossing the bomb to the emperor.

After all his weapon of choice, explosive, is a weapon that allows people to keep distance with their victims and it’s perfect for avoiding to get an empathic connection with them. Murdering people up close is a lot harder.

Although Inkarmat got in the way he didn’t mean to kill her and when she got stabbed by accident his first reaction was to try to help her, when Tanigaki let him know he was there to avenge Inkarmat he didn’t feel like finishing him off and he didn’t want Ogata to shoot Sugi.

Wilk though had betrayed them when he made clear he didn’t plan anymore to pursue their partisan group’s goal, circumstances paint him as the Ainu murderer and the fact he’s entrusting the gold to Hijikata, a Wajin, and Asirpa, Asirpa who has no idea about the other minorities, only worsen the picture.

Wilk, the NEW WILK who killed the OLD WILK and betrayed them, had to die.

It’s something Kiro likely knew Wilk had to die even before the Ainu incident, because partisans killed who betrayed them, yet he wasn’t ready to face, in fact, as soon as he believed Wilk died, he broke down and cried.

When it turned out Wilk instead survived, he could have been the one behind the Ainu murder and acted none the wiser by basically entrusting the gold to Hijikata, killing him for betrayal at that point was mandatory.

Yet the mental gimmick Kiro does to manage to condemn Wilk is interesting. Not only he has Ogata do the job but manages to persuade himself he’s doing Wilk a favour. The NEW WILK is a WEAK WILK and, according to Wilk’s ideas about ‘the way of the wolves’, the weak has to be killed.

Basically Kiro persuades himself he’s not hurting Wilk, he’s doing it an act of kindness according Wilk’s own mind setting (Kiro had no idea why Wilk was called as such but the volume version added a scene in which Wilk saw a lone wolf and talked with him and Hasegawa about ‘the way of the wolves’ so Kiro knew about it).

That’s probably why the image shows us a Kiro with no light in his eyes, a Kiro who’s blinding himself to the truth with a lie to cope with the guilt of killing his best friend otherwise he’ll probably break.

And this probably ties in with how, when their group was threatened by the Russian border guards, Kiro exposed himself to save the Orok and then called it ‘Kamuy Renkayne’, “thanks to the Gods”. What Kiro did is similar to what Sekiya was doing.

Before acting Kiro thought at how they murdered the Emperor, which is likely why they are held under fire but was also the moment in which Wilk, with an amazing coldness, grabbed the bomb and took care to correct Kiro’s mistake by placing the bomb in the royal coach. He likely gained Kiro’s loyalty with that act.

And by taking an amazing personal risk Kiro basically tested the will of the Gods to prove himself if he was right or wrong. If the Gods hadn’t spared him then his actions toward Wilk were wrong.

On a sidenote… it’s not a common occurrence for wolves to kill a weak wolf.

Normally they actually protect the weak in their pack by bringing them food and by defending them from larger predators because they’re like a big family, although they won’t hesitate to kill wolves that don’t belong to their pack, weak or not.

Wolves kill or drive out of the pack a silk or a weak or an old wolf only if they’re in conditions of great stress, for example if food is scarce.

Long story short, I’m more tempted to think the wolf Wilk saw as a child was killed not merely because he was weak but because he didn’t belong to the pack of wolves which found him.

Probably that wolf was kicked out by his own pack, trespassed into the area of another pack and was killed.

Anyway the irony is great and tragic.

We saw Wilk killing a member of his group due to ‘the way of the wolves’ mind setting and probably part of this mind setting is what made him cold when Hasegawa daughter and child were killed or when he left behind Sofia or now, that he decided only Hokkaido had to be saved… and yet this mind setting came back to bite him when his friend judged him through the same lens Wilk used to judge others.

His pack came back to him, only to get rid of him because he has grown weak in a perfect application of the contrappasso law.

Still, I’m sad for Asirpa. She didn’t deserve to see it.

But well, with this we likely have finished with the flashback for now… unless they’re going to include how the cat alliance formed, which I doubt as I expect Noda to save it for another time.

So, with the murder of the Ainu out of the way and all the tattooed convicts tracked down all that remains for the plot is to solve the code.

Oh well, we’ll see where this will lead us.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Thoughts on "Carry On" after I've mulled it over:

Now that I've had time to sit on it, I can be a little more precise on my thoughts of this finale:

- Dean's 'ending': Taken out by a rusty nail... I hate it. Then I heard some opinions - without Chuck there were no magic fixes, and this was bound to happen if they continued hunting because of that. It was a human, ordinary, accidental death meaning the Winchesters are just ordinary. Still, being taken out by a nail or rebarb or whatever wasn't a satisfying death for Dean Winchester. Added to the fact he most certainly wanted to live (Miracle, job application, etc.) And he didn't want to hunt anymore either! He wasn't looking for hunts (like Sam was). They stumbled onto that hunt by accident.

From a writer's point of view, I can say now it makes sense with the plot of the episode (only). Dean's death was a catalyst - to give Sam 'freedom' and to show us, the audience, what Heaven was like now that Jack is God. His own sort of 'freedom', I guess.

Unfortunately the plot of the episode still sucked. Just because it makes sense 'story wise' (and I say that very loosely because Dean didn't even get his loose ends tied up nicely). A death during a hunt was something Dean figured would happen in his youth, and he didn't care because he practically was a ghost without many physical attachments. Now he has so many they decide to take him away and for what purpose? It is the last episode. A series finale should only hurt in saying goodbye to the characters, but not like this.

And a goodbye like this, for a character who has had suicidal tendencies and from the looks of it was moving past that, who never really thought about his wants until this moment, and who was on the cusp of being textually confirmed queer (which would have been monumental just saying), it felt like we as fans were stabbed by the rebarb. Which goes to show how much we love the character, one thing. And I think that's why they knew it would hurt. However, they were so wrapped up in this 'shock' they didn't think about any of the consequences listed above as to why this would hurt not only us but their legacy. They figured it'd be a bookend, only for a book whose story ended a decade ago.

- Cas: A one-sentence reference sucks. That's just it.

Fanfiction was mostly built around Cas, too, and I had a feeling they wouldn't show his rescue because leaving that to us would be a good gift. "Here, Cas is alive and human but we won't tell you how - our last fanfiction gap". But Cas's absence wasn't a fanfiction gap, it's a canyon. So much of this episode doesn't make sense without Cas. And, honestly, a good chunk of outrage could have been avoided if Misha was allowed to film (or, if rumors were true, if they left his scenes in). Like it's been proven the majority of fans love Cas, and Jensen and Jared love Misha, so not having him in the finale gives credence to, that the cast and crew might love Misha, TPTB certainly didn't. And doesn't that tarnish your legacy, that you have a man dedicate 12 years of his life to your show and this is how you repaid him? Even if they decided to 'no homo' Cas's declaration (which i doubt they would have because those optics are much worse) at least show it.

Which leads to why he wasn't included in the finale. If he was there, they'd have to have him and Dean talk. About that night, when Cas told Dean he loves him. And if they did, and had there be a reciprocal confession, I bet things on Tumblr would have felt a little different. An equal exchange instead of plain highway robbery.. Yes we would all still want Dean and Cas to live long, human lives, but at least Dean and Cas's emotional arcs were resolved by the SHOW WRITERS, whose job it is to do so. Not ours! But they never understood how to give Castiel good things. Clearly, they know how to make Castiel give good things (like creating Dean's perfect Heaven for him) but not receive them in kind (reciprocated love from Dean). By not having this, it plays exactly into the bury your gays trope we were all afraid of, even if Cas is back. Because he, a queer character, is still living his life for a character he believes doesn't love him back - even if Cas 'doesn't need to know if that's true'. The audience does, and I'm sure Misha did as well.

The writers set up such an easy win but what this finale did was put every character back to season one, and given Misha didn't show up until season 4, makes sense why he wasn't in this episode.

- Sam's life after Dean: Sam liked being a hunter. We had how many countless episodes show that? He enjoyed saving people, research, being a leader - he was good at it. Hell, they even made it a point to have him find someone in the life who understood what it was like to hunt and wrote a beautiful relationship that also gave disability rep.

Only they never followed through.

Like, with Dean, so much of this lead up was then tossed out the window by Sam starting a family, which he never had any indication he wanted to do in these later seasons. Since season 8, really. What we got was that he liked to hunt, he was good at it. He could have restarted the Men of Letters, America chapter, and made the hunters even more connected than before!

Not saying he didn't do that, but knowing how Sam was raised I doubt he would let himself hunt with a kid. So, by showing him marry and have Dean Jr., it's a non-textual confirmation he retired. Which, like with Dean's ending, didn't make sense with what he wanted. It felt like a "might as well" since Dean wasn't there any longer. Like, whats the point of doing something I love now that I don't have my brother with me?

Instead of leaving the Bunker he should have transformed it into a bustling center of activity so he wasn't alone. Extend the Winchester family further and become the hunters' patriarch. Eileen being the matriarch.

Which, circling back, Eileen should have had textual confirmation, too. They showed a brunette woman standing far back, and I get if the actress couldn't be there to film why they would do that. But why not show pictures of him and Eileen if they did marry? I mean, there's a giant picture of Sam with Dean, Mary, and John I DON'T remember them ever having. Why he would blow that up after having two previous episodes talk about how much of a bad father he is...

Sam's ending falls in the same vein as Dean's in that it's unsatisfactory and doesn't fit the character anymore. Not saying Sam didn't want this in the past, but we all saw him change. Hunting was in his blood, and he was fantastic at it. It used to be a way for him to hang with Dean but it would have also been good to see him carry on the legacy in Dean's honor. A better way then by naming his son Dean.

Which strikes another nail on the head. We have Dean, a subtextually queer/textually ambiguous sexuality character, die, and because of this Sam can go on and live the 'apple pie life'? Cas's confession scene wasn't homophobic, but damned if Sam didn't spend the thirty years after Dean's death yelling 'Straight Pride'.

Textually, giving characters a family is a common trope in these sort of epilogues. Harry Potter, Hunger Games, etc. A way to show they've moved on from trauma and are trying to be happy (albeit in a very antiquated way). But at least it fit with those characters and stories. This was Sam trying to be a person who he wasn't anymore, who clearly would rather be on the road hunting (given that ugly wig scene in the garage with Dean's Impala). Actually, worse, it felt like Sam was trying to live a life Dean always wanted. Which shows that even if he's alive Sam isn't happy with what his life was, he was content. He was waiting for death.

- Dean's time in Heaven: Like I said previously about Dean and his 'death', it makes sense to have Dean die early if the goal was to show how Heaven had been changed. Which hurts worse because that again reinforces how Dean's storyline truly is left unresolved for plot development.

And, honestly, they should have cut this entire sequence if they weren't gonna have the cameos. They should have changed the script so that Dean didn't die, because there was no emotional pay-off of Dean going to heaven. We're told it's freedom, however it's more like a waiting room. For Dean, driving endlessly until Sam dies. And for us, being told we can't start writing until Sam gets there and we finish his montage.

Like, is it beautiful that Jack and Cas remade heaven so Dean would be happy? Yes. Did I need to know this until like maybe the last few minutes? No. Dean could have lived a long life, with Cas/without Cas, and then die first and be taken to Heaven. And then after Bobby gives him the rundown, about how time works differently here, we get the Sam end of life and see him pop up too. And when Sam asks what happened to Heaven, Dean could have clapped him on the back and told him he'd explain in the car and they drive away knowing they lived a good life, and have eternity of peace.

Because having Heaven be an open sandbox, for us, to let characters roam free and see those they love without them being memories - beautiful and exactly how Heaven should be. It definitely is something we as writers would have enjoyed if we didn't get it how we did.

Because it hadn't felt like Dean nor Sam deserved the deaths they got. Making Heaven, ultimate freedom, seem such a dangerous idea. That the only true peace is in death (Dean) and life is spent waiting for death so you can be reunited (Sam). What about any of that makes it seem like any of what Sam and Dean did was worth it? Was good? At least on Earth. Sure, without them (and Cas and Jack) Heaven wouldn't be the way it was. But that doesn't seem like a good reward for them. Their reward should have been living long lives (both of them) and them buttoning it with those five to seven minutes of how Heaven changed (more if they decided to leave Cas as an angel despite that being, again, zero character growth and not aligning with how the story was unfolding)

And after a painful, undeserved death, we get Dean in Heaven but still not happy? It was clear Dean was still waiting to let himself enjoy seeing all his family, his friends, Cas, because Sam wasn't there. Which shows he hadn't broken the sacrificial cycle because he's not putting himself first! "Oh but he has eternity to do it!" Yes, but he shouldn't have had to wait still. His whole life has been spent waiting and he gets killed just before he gets his due, and we never see him particularly 'enjoy' his reward, which is too tragic for a series finale. "He could have done more than drive, we don't know!" Yes, but if they're not showing it then why should I read into it? This finale isn't deep. "But covid-" Yeah, I get that. They should have changed the script because without those cameos Dean's time in Heaven was more than pointless and this whole finale was just an exercise in how to hate your main characters.

What this boils down to is that we, as fans, were told that this was for us, except we already knew Heaven was ours because Heaven was supposed to be the implied. Heaven is whatever we make of it. We didn't need to be told this through the show. Having this be the goal of this episode, of the finale - which sums up the goal of the entire series, really - be totally focused on the life we get after death instead of doing the most to make life on Earth paradise for you, was rotten. And Sam's 'happily ever after' was cheapened because of Dean's death.

- Family Don't End in Blood?: Taking into account all of the above, the show has failed the core message of what we as a fandom loved. Family don't end in blood.

Again, I get that covid stole any chance of reunions in Heaven, but it also stole so many others. Like Sam wouldn't have called Garth, Jody, Donna, the girls and Eileen, to have them here for Dean's funeral? Sam wouldn't have burned Dean alone! We know there was some time that passed since the hunt and Dean's funeral by the dog being there, but it should have been more people. Which, again, they should have axed it from the story if they couldn't get them because, like these side characters have done from the beginning, they change the context of the show! Sam's loneliness would have hit harder if it was a room full of people all telling stories about Dean to then just him, alone, in the Bunker trying to move on.

The writers thought we didn't need all these cameos, but we did because - as we keep repeating - while the show, at its heart, is Sam and Dean, there were so many more people who gave their characters depth and allowed for this show to continue. It should have been a celebration of who the boys became and how it was through these bonds they were able to overcome so much.

Which, if redone in that context, Dean's speech to Sam could have been so much better. More poignant and hopeful instead of sad. I mean, I could barely focus on what was being said because I was in too much shock of what was being done to Dean. If they had a similar speech, given with Dean and Sam parting ways to start new lives. Dean reminding Sam he's done so much good, that he's proud of his brother and knows he can do so much even without him, the emotional beat would have still hit! Probably even better than with his death. Because my takeaway from Dean's death isn't "Dean is proud of Sam" it's "Dean died stupidly".

Going to show that this entire script was a series of choices that were all the worst possible outcome, stitched together and handed in. It didn't feel congruent to the story and, instead, a bunch of items checked off of a list the writers were given. It didn't feel like the culmination of the series like we were promised, instead a 'what if the show skipped fourteen years after season 2, John's dead, Mom's killer dead, and no demon deal'. It felt like (even if it wasn't intended) the writers telling us "don't expect people to change or that happy ending exist in life" which, given current climates and attitudes, is dangerous.

Overall:

They were trying to satisfy an audience built around fandom and fanworks, they wanted to leave so much "up to interpretation" so we can continue crafting our narratives through this open sandbox. What they failed to consider is that we don't care where the brothers, or any of the characters, physically are in this show, we care more about the characters themselves and their emotional goals. That's why we write fanfiction. That's why there's a lot of canon divergence. We thank them for the world and play around in it. So, by giving Sam and Dean these 'half-lives' on screen, letting loose threads hang so we, as an audience, can fill in the blanks (Dean and Cas's heaven reunion, who Sam married, what Dean did while driving for fifty years, etc.) was a poor and lazy decision because we are tired of having to do your job! Supernatural is a collaborative effort yes, but they misunderstood the assignment. We still need textual goalposts, like seeing Cas or Eileen. We needed them to finish what they were saying, so we could then take over and continue the story.

A series finale should feel poignant but the only really emotional moment was Dean's death (not for good reasons), and the rest was filler. Your series finale should not feel like filler. It felt rushed. It felt sloppy and - because of not including a certain character - plain rude. Just... it didn't work. The short of it is that the finale, as a whole, didn't work. It didn't wrap the show up in its entirety like we were promised it would. And if they do revive this show for a mini-series or movie, they best forget what happened in episode 20.

[ecoamerica]

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[boycottyashahime]

Hello! Anti-Sessrin person here. You said if this couple becomes canon it will ruin Sesshomaru's character development. I would love it If you could elaborate on that because you're always so eloquent and smart. It's ok if you don't feel like it, though. Have a nice day!

I've actually been looking for an excuse to sit down and write out a cohesive post on my thoughts about this. Contrary to what the shippers want to believe, my interpretation of Sesshoumaru and Rin's relationship doesn't have anything to do with my moral objections to child grooming. I happen to think there's plenty of evidence for a filial interpretation in the text.

First, I'd like to preface my little essay here by saying I'm going off the manga alone. I haven't seen the anime in a long time, because I dropped it when I got a little tired of trying to reconcile the inconsistencies between the two mediums. So, if you read this and have an impulse to say, "hey, what about that thing in episode such-and-such...", keep in mind that I probably just don't remember what you're thinking of.

So, let's go back, alllll the way back, to Sesshoumaru's first appearance. Here's a guy who tears off a dude's head for no other reason than to get the attention of his subordinates to demand a boat. Here's a guy who's spent a long time looking just about EVERYWHERE for his father's remains, not to pay respects, but to plunder them. Here's a guy who feels ENTITLED to rob his dad's grave for treasure he deserves simply for being his father's son.

Sesshoumaru begins his journey as a selfish, spoiled, entitled brat. He doesn't fit the usual profile of a kid throwing a tantrum on the street because he wants the expensive toy sitting in the window; he's very posh and very reserved, but fundamentally, his motivation comes down to the simple fact that he wants Tessaiga. It doesn't even really have anything to do with respect and admiration of his father, otherwise he wouldn't have been so eager to rifle through dear old dad's bones to get at a sword when he had another heirloom right there at his hip. Only Tessaiga was representative of the sheer destructive force he wanted to wield, so he ignored the fact that his dad didn't seem to want him to have it.

This is important, because at first, Sesshoumaru doesn't seem to think of his father in terms of the guy's intentions or the steps he takes for the sake of his sons. Like most rich spoiled kids, Sesshoumaru views the Inu no Taishou in terms of his prestige and how that priviledge can be appropriated for selfish ends. Sesshoumaru wants Tessaiga not because he needs it, but because it's a birthright, and reinforces his legitimacy. When it's clear that Tessaiga seals Inuyasha's youkai blood, keeps him from going berserk, Sesshoumaru loses interest in Tessaiga - it's just a crutch for Inuyasha, and there's no prestige in taking it from him or using it for himself.

Sesshoumaru doesn't start to REALLY consider his father's intentions for the swords until later in the manga, when it comes out that Tenseiga was originally part of Tessaiga, and Inuyasha was meant to get the Meidou Zangetsuha attack eventually as well. It's at this point that Sesshoumaru starts to question if daddy actually HATED him, to give him a rather neat power disguised in a lame shell, but only to develop it so Inuyasha can have it instead, even after Inuyasha already got Tessaiga in the first place. It kind of looks to Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha gets all the powerful cool shit their father left behind, and that there might have been some favoritism coming down HARD on Inuyasha's side.

Above, you can see Sesshoumaru has two interlinked but distinct issues that are addressed throughout the story - his lack of compassion and empathy, and how tied his identity is to his father's favor and prestige. These two are somewhat separated in the narrative; there's a kind of pause in Sesshoumaru's development while a bulk of the middle of the story deals more with other characters and their development, but there is a little bit of a thematic connection between the two halves.

We'll start with the development of Sesshoumaru's compassion since, well, that's where the story begins working on his character. Right before Rin shows up, Toutousai let's Inuyasha's group in on the sword Sesshoumaru carries around and what it does, indicating that Tenseiga requires a compassionate heart to function. A bit ham-handed, but RT isn't very subtle most of the time, so we'll allow it. This sets up the next few scenes in which Sesshoumaru is unable to move and must play captive audience to a little girl doing the literal opposite of what he's used to. Sesshoumaru's habit is to show up and kill things, with no thought to the years of history, relationships, thoughts, emotions, etc that he's snuffing out. But while he's reclined injured in the woods, Rin demonstrates actual LIFE and the preservation of it, that part Sesshoumaru never gets to see. It's made all the starker by how BAD Rin is at caring for herself, let alone the strange monster she found in the woods. She does exactly nothing to help Sesshoumaru, despite how hard she tries, and is even injured by others in her attempts. She is the very picture of vulnerability, the opposite of the strong and capable Sesshoumaru.

This is a stark contrast, because anything less wouldn't be enough to create the necessary awareness of Rin's struggles that Sesshoumaru needs in order to use Tenseiga on here. And I know I've said this before, but I really cannot stress enough how obvious I think the symbolism is when Sesshoumaru uses Tenseiga for the first time; a phallic object gives life to a child, and the object's owner looks after that life throughout the rest of the story. He's not very good at looking after it, and it's clear that he's not sure about taking responsibility for Rin at first, because she pleaded for him to come back for her when he and Jaken left her behind to requisition a sword from Gaijinbou. To me, it's reminiscent of a teenager who knocked someone up, and ended up having to learn to give a crap about the result.

But, even if you don't accept that symbolism as particularly significant, Rin being a child, and human, and weak, unable to survive on her own, are important characteristics to how Sesshoumaru's compassion develops. Sesshoumaru is one of the strongest characters in the series, and he rarely has to worry about his own safety. And since he's in the habit of just murdering everyone he comes across if they're in his way, he's never had to worry about the safety of anyone else, either. When Rin comes into the picture, though, Sesshoumaru is faced with the uncomfortable reality of vulnerability in general. Through her earnest and incompetent attempts to foster survival in a world that can and does crush her, she's opened his eyes to how the disadvantaged, those without a powerful youkai lineage to rely on, have to struggle.

Rin herself has nothing to offer Sesshoumaru within this context of supreme vulnerability. She's not a friend, because she can't offer mutual support or use a skill to their benefit as a team. She's not a lover, because, well, she's a child and sexual/romantic attraction are conditions that wouldn't allow Sesshoumaru to extend his compassion beyond just her. As a mostly helpless kid, Rin has to rely upon Sesshoumaru and his power to survive, and Sesshoumaru employs his strength to keep her alive, getting nothing but a sweet smile out of it all. She gets all the benefits, he has all the obligations. This is PURE compassion - using one's advantages to another's benefit because you care about them, and not because you derive something from it as well.

This is why making Rin into Sesshoumaru's lover is a REALLY thoughtless take. It puts conditions on the compassion and muddies the message.

Moving onto Sesshoumaru's continued character development in the latter part of the story, the sword drama starts back up with slow, when Toutousai shows up and offers to reforge Tenseiga into a weapon. Sesshoumaru discovers that because he got angry enough to break his primary weapon in defense of Kagura's honor, he's triggered the next evolution of Tenseiga into something that can murder. Which is what he wanted at the beginning, yay! I want to point out here that Toutousai says Tenseiga noticed a change in Sesshoumaru's heart - anger for the first time for the sake of another. This implies that what Jaken said about Sesshoumaru getting tangled up in the fight against Naraku because Naraku kidnapping and using Rin to manipulate Sesshoumaru hurt Sesshoumaru's pride is actually accurate; he just really hated the thought of Naraku trying to use him, even if it was a failed attempt.

After going through HELL to develop the Meidou into a full circle (literally), Sesshoumaru then learns that the Meidou belongs to Tessaiga and Inuyasha, and that it's supposed to be handed over. Now, part of Sesshoumaru's angst over this idea, I think, is not just "did daddy love Inuyasha more?", but also the assumption that Inuyasha would have to KILL him in order to retake the Meidou Zangetsuha into Tessaiga. Thinking that your father meant for your little brother to kill you at some point to take your stuff is a pretty disturbing thought, to be entirely fair to him. This is why, when Sesshoumaru jumps into the meidou to take back control of the Naraku-possessed Tenseiga and breaks it deliberately, he spends the rest of the time in there moodily resigned to disappear. He genuinely believes that his father meant for him to die at this point, and even after they get out of there, he seems genuinely depressed.

This is Sesshoumaru's lowest point as a character. He's lost something he thought his father had meant for him, at his father's own wish, and he can't help but question why his dad would give him something just to take it away and give it to Inuyasha. It looks for all the world like favoritism, and since the Inu no Taishou is dead, there's no asking him what the hell the meaning of all this is.

This is all leading to one of the most infuriatingly ridiculous scenes I have ever seen in a manga - when Magatsuhi has crushed Sesshoumaru and everyone thinks he's been killed/absorbed, Magatsuhi is blown apart and rendered unable to reform by the shiny new sword clutched in Sesshoumaru's newly regrown arm. I could talk your ear off about how having Sesshoumaru stop being an amputee is erasure of consequences for his actions, or how being given back an arm is kind of a slap in the face for actual amputees, and where the mother f*ck did that sword come from anyway, but that's not what this essay is about, so I'll just keep all that to myself. The point of this is articulated by Toutousai when he says that Sesshoumaru had to let go of Tessaiga and his father's heirloom to stand on his own as a daiyoukai.

We've already gone over how Sesshoumaru is one of the most powerful characters in the series, who rarely has to worry about his well-being. He's just really strong without having to try. Sesshoumaru had already learned that he didn't need Tessaiga ages ago - he knew this when he learned that Inuyasha needed Tessaiga to keep from tearing himself apart eventually. But when he thought he had been passed down something from his father that was truly meant to be his, only to put all this work into it so that Inuyasha could have it, that embittered him again. It's not that he wanted the sword necessarily, but the thoughts and consideration of his father, who seemed to be putting everything he had into Inuyasha.

But his previous experiences protecting and considering someone (in some cases, multiple someones) weaker than him should have tipped him off. During the very battle in which he got his new arm and sword, he was actively helping those around him avoid Magatsuhi and keeping them close because he had a plan and the strength to carry it out. He was willing to take the extra step to protect Inuyasha and friends before trying to take care of Magatsuhi though, and that was the point. He put everyone else's needs ahead of his own, even Inuyasha's, and he did it without even thinking.

Toutousai just articulated what Sesshoumaru should have already intuitively known by that point. He never needed his father's heirlooms, the swords, his dad's power. They were unnecessary for him from the start. Inuyasha needed a leg up, because his own BODY could kill him after a while. But Sesshoumaru always had the capability of being great on his own. He just needed to finally separate his ego from who his father was and become his own person; stand on his own as a great youkai. While I don't agree with the execution, I can get behind the big lesson - don't rely on your daddy's wealth and influence to prop you up, and do the work to build a personality and identity of your own.

Which is ANOTHER reason why making Rin into a lover would be a thoughtless take. It would walk back Sesshoumaru's final lesson about being his own person apart from his father.

So, there you go. A comprehensive post regarding my take on Sesshoumaru's character development. I could add in a bit about Sesshoumaru coming to understand his father's consideration and the lengths he went to for the sake of protecting Inuyasha by having to give similar consideration to Rin, but I think this post is long enough, and that one statement on that aspect pretty much sums it up. Let me know if you would like me to elaborate on any of this, or if you would like to argue any of the points, I'm up for it. Might take me a minute to respond, mind you, but hopefully it won't take as long as it did to draft this behemoth.

Take care.

[xaibaugrove]

An Analysis of Ellie

In honor of The Last Of Us Day, I’m finally gonna drag out this headcanon I’ve had in my drafts forever. If you choose to read this, good luck because it’s a long time. 

Of course, SPOILERS AHEAD. 

So, this all started with me thinking about how Ellie has suffered from survivor’s guilt ever since she discovered her immunity, when she was meant to die with her girlfriend/best friend Riley. 

In that moment, Ellie had already embraced death and wanted to share it with her loved one, but that was robbed from her. She continued to live while forced to watch who might have been the first person she ever loved turn from infection. Ellie had no explanation for why that gift of immunity had been given to her. She had that gift thrust upon her by forces outside of her control. Ellie had to contend with her new existence as someone immune to the infection that had torn apart Earth’s reality, trapped in a paradox as a young teenage girl in a post apocalyptic world, until Marlene relieved her of that pressure by giving her life meaning, by giving purpose to her immunity and bestowing an important identity upon her: the savior of the human race.

Before all that, Ellie had always been just a number. She was just an orphan kid in a sea of other faceless, nameless kids in a military boarding school, without a future or special kind of destiny in a bleak world without any real meaning. Suddenly, she was a savior for all humanity and tasked with the tremendous responsibility of staying alive. She had to contend with her life having more value than others, seeing people sacrificing themselves over and over again, for her, when she had lived as a nobody for all her life until that point when everything changed.

I can imagine that that was a lot for Ellie to deal with as a teenager, a key developmental time in her life when she is just learning who she is as a person. A lot of her identity was based on not having an identity. Being trained and destined to be a nameless soldier. So when that identity was called into question, when she was smacked in the face with immunity to a virus that killed her best friend and numerous people on the planet, she needed the absurdity of her existence to be reigned in by her new title of savior of the human race.

During her journey with Joel, while the player mostly experienced the story and struggle of Joel, Ellie was struggling with her own internal issues as the secondary character. She mainly dealt with the loss of her innocence but she also still carried within her a crippling survivor’s guilt. This is very apparent after the death of Tess. In that pivotal scene in Part 1, Tess made it abundantly clear that the only reason why she was sacrificing herself was because of Ellie’s immunity, to the point of physically grabbing Ellie by the arm and pointing to the point of infection, relegating Ellie to just her immunity. Of course it wasn’t Tess’s intention to do that, but one can only wonder how Ellie absorbed that moment, another moment that helped her in defining herself. Tess wasn’t risking her life to save Ellie the person. She sacrificed herself for the immunity, the potential cure Ellie carried within her. 

This assisted Ellie in defining herself by her immunity. Instead of thinking about herself and how she related to the world around her with all the contradictions of her childhood, and the relationships she formed with Joel and Sam, the people in that world, it was easier to just soldier through life with the sole goal of fulfilling her destiny. Saving the human race.

Then came the turning point in her life, when her identity was stripped from her by the very person she had come to trust and love the most.

In a way, Ellie had her autonomy taken from her by Joel and had to come to grips with that, the fact that Joel loved her and yet, hurt her deeply as a result of that love, without truly acknowledging it. In making this ultimate decision about her life for her, Joel triggered her survivor’s guilt and Ellie had no way of expressing it, 1. Because Joel lied to her about the situation and forced the conversation to be buried in that lie, and 2. Because even if she gathered the courage to confront him about the lie, she didn’t really have the cognitive ability at the time to express herself fully, to tell him exactly what was wrong with it. And maybe on some level, she didn’t really want to have the conversation and finally clarify the unspoken truth. If she did initiate the conversation, how could she be angry at him when his defense is that he did what he did out of love? What defense would an average teenager have against a parent making that statement in one of many common situations that could occur in normal settings?

Because of the decision that Joel made, he was able to be content with his surrogate daughter, living his best life in a way, while Ellie was devastated in the aftermath. And if he did notice her inner turmoil, he never addressed it. She was probably subtly carrying around that guilt with her for years. It might have even bothered her or made her hesitant to indulge in the many positive aspects of being alive: developing friendships, romantic relationships, normal childhood things. It wasn’t until Ellie was allowed to stew on it, contemplate everything and allow the guilt to fester within her that she was able to finally muster up the courage to have that difficult conversation with Joel.

In yet another pivotal scene, this time in Part 2, she gave him another chance to confess to what she suspected was a lie for multiple years when she was met with another trigger of her survivor’s guilt, during the reluctant excursion she embarked upon with Joel in search of strings for the guitar he made for her. In that scene, she questions him, counters his excuses and challenges him. Ellie gave Joel the chance to be honest with her. And his choice was to dig his heels in deeper, lying to her face once again. When watching Ellie’s expressions after Joel silenced her protests, so much can be seen in the way she looks at him for a moment.

She looks at him and thinks of how many things he has done to make her happy, out of love for her, and the immense contradiction she feels with those acts of love when compared to the greatest pain he inadvertently inflicted on her as well as the continuation of that pain through him perpetuating the lie. She gave him another chance and he betrayed her trust again. When Ellie looks away from Joel, her expression then reveals her innermost thoughts. Her eyes search the void between them to see that Joel will never admit to the lie and the only way for her to reinforce what she believes is the real truth is for her to seek out the answers herself. So she does.

When he did finally confess to everything, it broke her with not only how indifferent he was to it, but how he had destroyed any chance she could have of fulfilling her purpose. It possibly even reaffirmed the suspicions in the back of her mind that questioned his love for her due to how much he had hurt her without apologizing even once for it and how much he had taken from her in the process. The validity of all their past interactions were suddenly called into question as well, because although Joel did those things to make Ellie happy, every happy moment was always undercut by the tremendous amount of guilt she carried that outweighed the happier moments for her as her entire life was worthless to her, from the moment Joel removed her from that hospital.

After that revelation, her sense of self was thrown into limbo. Ellie severed her relationship with Joel and went back to Jackson with no idea of how to truly carry on with her life and live with herself after that. In order to appease herself in some way, she regained some type of control in navigating their relationship from that point on. Before, their relationship hinged entirely on how Joel wanted to interact with her, with him approaching her to progress their father-daughter relationship after he removed her agency by making choices for her. Post their argument at St. Mary’s, it’s important to note that Ellie assumed control and eliminated that progression entirely. A consolation prize, a reclamation of her agency in life. But it was never enough.

Regardless, things continued on like that for some time, but then something happened that shifted the trajectory of Joel and Ellie’s relationship. On a night when Ellie attended a party, she happened to find herself possibly feeling grateful for being alive when her longtime best friend expressed interest in her and made an advance toward her. 

After Joel intervened in a conflict between her and a dumbass bigot, she angrily went to confront him. She continued to exercise her control in their relationship by coming down hard on him. Her anger about everything was very apparent during their confrontation later that night and one can see that she still felt like her life was technically meaningless without her death for the sake of a cure for the salvation of the human race. During that scene she finally expresses exactly how she feels, what she hadn’t been able to articulate for years.

It’s important to note that before she says any of that, Joel disarms her. Joel asked her about the simplest of things, if Dina was her girlfriend. Then he placed an importance on her existence, by saying that Dina would be lucky to have her, which I believe Ellie thought about for a split second. She ruminated on her feelings, on how a potential romantic relationship with Dina made her feel happy to be alive, as it wouldn’t have been possible if she had died in the hospital. And this thought, that Joel could have been right to save her, that she could possibly agree with him, caused her survivor’s guilt to spiral and she lashed out at him with all the emotions she felt since he first agreed to smuggle her across the country years ago.

Then, in a turning point in their dynamic, Joel is finally forthright with her when he responds to her frustration by stating that he would do it all over again. As a result, for the first time ever, Ellie feels as though she can finally understand his motivations and the validity of his love for her. In his honesty, he tells her that her life does have value to him, even if she can’t see that herself. And although she will never forgive him for his transgression or fully understand it because she doesn’t see her own value as a person aside from the potential cure she carries within herself along with her immunity, she realizes that she can’t stop herself from wanting... From wanting to live, from wanting to experience the joys of life, wanting to just be human. Joel introduces a new purpose to her life, to simply exist without purpose and be herself and find value in her life as just a person living it. She can’t erase the past and change Joel’s choices that directly affected her in the end, but she can choose to try his suggestion. To live life, despite her guilt and despite how afraid she feels to do it. This late night moment of vulnerability between a father and daughter opens the door to them possibly repairing what was broken 4 years ago.

Her entire world is then shattered when Abby slams that door shut by killing Joel. Just when Ellie was setting down the path of finding the strength to move on and repair their relationship. Her survivor’s guilt was triggered and sent into overdrive by this event, because once she discovered that the people who killed Joel were ex-Fireflies, she came to the conclusion that Abby killed Joel in retaliation to him removing Ellie from the hospital and killing any hopes of a cure, along with all the Fireflies in the hospital. This essentially caused Ellie to believe that Joel was killed because of her in a roundabout way, as he would have still been alive if he hadn’t saved her, further enforcing her belief that her ultimate destiny in life was to die in that hospital. In Ellie’s mind, Joel died for a pointless reason, because she viewed herself as worthless.

Since she and Joel were the only ones who carried the secret of what really happened at St. Mary’s, there was no one else who could blame her or punish her for his death. Abby punished someone who didn’t deserve the blame and let Ellie go, leaving her to deal with the aftermath and that survivor’s guilt. In Ellie’s mind, it should have been her, but there was no way for her to have swapped herself in Joel’s place. So she punished herself in a different way. This sends her down her path of addiction to self-destruction.

Ellie had no way of punishing herself for her immunity for all those years, for surviving while others died for her. Abby provided an outlet for this desire. Ellie pursued Abby under the guise of getting justice for Joel but more can be ascertained from her constant push to find Abby, in her constantly doing things that go against her better nature, committing horrible acts and torturing people, debasing herself and pushing away those who love her or even putting them in danger while simultaneously traumatizing herself all at once. With every murder she committed, with every wound she sustained, she was punishing herself for being alive.

Each wound she suffered during that pursuit was like a high for her, an adrenaline rush. Each time she damaged her mental state even further with a new murder of one of Abby’s friends, she reinforced the belief that she deserved all of this for surviving. She deserved all the pain for being the cure, for being immune and benefiting from it while the world and everyone in it suffered. This is why Ellie can’t let go, even after her first encounter with Abby.

It was easy for Ellie to spiral in that self-destructive cycle. She punished herself for Joel’s death by pursuing Abby, which caused her closest friends to suffer because they were connected to her hunt for justice. Even when it all seemed to be over and Ellie tried to change. Tommy nearly died and wound up crippled and separated from his wife because of her and even JJ wound up without a father due to Jesse dying while helping her in her pursuit of Abby. This all contributed to her revisiting the same destructive path when Tommy accused her of not following through after all he had lost for her. Tommy started her self-punishment with that accusation. And once Ellie had the chance to think it all over, it was easy for her to return to the same bad habits. This is why she leaves and continues to pursue Abby, steeling herself against a near-fatal abdominal injury, doing whatever it takes to get to her, lying to herself this time, by telling herself all the while that it is in service of Joel. To repay his life that was taken from him. To even out the injustice.

Ellie realizes this lie when she is mere seconds away from exacting her revenge by drowning Abby in the ocean. Joel’s face flashes across her mind, of him during that night when he told her that her life had value. She realizes in that moment that killing Abby will not bring her peace, because the motivation behind the act is a lie. It will not give her life value or meaning, or purpose. Because her life already has value. Outside of a cure, outside of her immunity, outside of her saving humankind. Her life has value because of who she is, not what she can give to the world. And Ellie finally realizes that she must accept this to be whole. Killing Abby won’t help her do this...so she lets her go. She watches the boat leave as she sits in the ocean tides ebbing and flowing around her, thinking of how broken she is, how much she has lost and if she can bring herself back from the brink to find value in the meaningless existence she believed her life was for so long.

When she revisits the farm and contemplates all this while holding a guitar that she’ll never be able to play again, she recalls that memory, when Joel reminded her of her value. In that final scene, she realized that Joel was the first person in her life who didn’t see her for her immunity. Joel saw Ellie for who she was and saw value in her as a person. To such a degree that he was willing to risk all of humanity to keep her alive. She was then able to forgive him and know that he truly did love her for her, something no one else had ever done before him. And if he could love her for her, maybe she could learn to do the same.

[canis-lunaris]

Introducing: The Wandering Witch AU

(With transgirl!Remus, questioning!Sirius and endless conversations about the metaphysics of wandless magic)

This is the latest installment of our various Wolfstar AU's with August, one we came up with while we were on a mini-holiday, celebrating our third anniversary.

In this universe, pureblood-supremacy is rampant, keeping the Wizarding World in the permanent dark ages. Muggle-born wizards are only allowed a wand upon being accepted at a magic school, and most institutions favour pureblood children over half-blood, or muggle-born students. Wands are registered and heavily regulated, including tracking-spells and random spot-checks for counterfeit, or unregistered wands by Ministry officials.

After a werewolf-attack at age 4, Remus Lupin’s father tries to teach her magic using his own wand, knowing she would never be allowed into Hogwarts. However, performing magic with someone else's wand is not only dangerous and illegal, but also extremely difficult. Remus — a savant, who can sense magical currents in a way none of her peers can — realises that she doesn't need a wand to focus her power, and instead develops her own way of casting — or spell-weaving, more accurately —, tying an intricate web of knots between intent and the ambient magical currents to shape reality to her will. While admittedly crude and volatile, her technique turns out surprisingly potent, which makes her more than capable of protecting herself against the many dangers of a transphobic, werewolf-hating world.

Because her condition places both her and her family in a vulnerable position (the "werewolf-issue is an ages-old favourite talking point of mainstream wizarding politics, including a fearmongering campaign designed to marginalise intelligent magical creatures and eradicate non-human magic users), the Lupins decide to avoid registering their child after the attack, relying on the help of muggle medicine and corrupt healers to nurse her back to health after the transformations. They move frequently, bouncing Remus from school to school, but once Remus has gotten a basic education, they settle down in an isolated cottage on the Scottish highlands, and her mum takes on the duty of homeschooling her.

Having been brought up in a mixed family and lived the majority of her life as a muggle, Remus is well-versed in the matters of 21st century life. Once they settle into their new home, she starts transitioning, takes up Luna as her middle name, but keeps Remus as her first name, refusing to abide by arbitrary societal rules about names being connected to certain genders, rather than the people wearing them. After both her parents meet a tragically early death in a car accident, Remus finds herself alone in the world, with both a house and a large sum of money to her name; she sells the cottage and spends her parents' life insurance settlement on getting bottom surgery, then sets out to travel the world, looking for someone, or something to find a meaningful connection with.

----------

On a glance, Cassandra Black is everything her most ancient and noble house could want for an heir. She is brilliant, powerful and a downright genious when it comes to magic; the only problem is, she's a bit too smart for her own good, and no amount of discipline can keep her from asking too many questions. The only thing her bewildered parents achieve with their constant, increasingly violent punishment is that young Cassandra stops asking them, and starts looking for answers of her own.

By the time she's 11, she's thoroughly disillusioned, worlds away from the conservative, blood-supremacist doctrines she was brought up with. Upon entering Hogwarts, she spends the first free breath of her life on convincing the Sorting Hat not to place her in Slytherin, a decision she pays for with the world as she knew it. In return, she gains a new, brighter one, full of friendship, adventure and budding romance — although dark secrets, stomach-turning injustice and bitter heartbreak too. When it comes to her parents' attention that she is sleeping with a witch, their treatment turns from toxic hostility to open abuse, severing all emotional ties between Cassandra and the House of Black. She spends five years as a proud Gryffindor, but by the time her 16th birthday rolls around, she feels like she'd learnt everything Hogwarts had to offer — the good and the bad alike. She decides not to return to the castle for the sixth year: instead, she uses the start of the school year to orchestrate an elaborate escape plan, that would make it impossible for her family to find her. She breaks her wand and vanishes into the night, never to be seen again.

British Wizarding society erupts in chaos, because even one as scandalous as the Black heiress, the mysterious disappearance of a 16-year-old, pureblood-aristocrat (and a witch, for that) brings the Ministry's messaging about public safety into question, and the story keeps the tabloids busy for the better part of a year. The family puts out an enticing bounty on their firstborn's head, but regardless of the spectacular reward, no one can locate Cassandra, and without a wand to track, she proves to be impossible to trace. Eventually, the tabloids move on and the story slowly fades into the background, although, en lieu of a body, they never officially assume her dead, and the family never gives up the secret search for their wayward, blood-traitor daughter.

----------

Three years later:

Somewhere, hidden in the mountains of Scotland, there is a halfway-house, for magical folks who need to get off the grid, for one reason or another. Remus is a regular visitor, using the shelter's reinforced cellar for the full moon, and taking her time to recover at the quaint little house for a while thereafter. Nobody bothers her there, and while people do use the retreat — it's always clean, stocked with food, healing items and clean bedding, among other obvious signs of habitation —, she'd never encountered any other guests during her visits. This time, however, an unpleasant surprise welcomes her, in form of a backpack and a half-drunk bottle of wine on the porch, and soon, she finds the owner of the items as well, lounging on her favorite sunning spot.

The stranger looks ragged; unkempt and malnourished, and when they speak, their voice sounds hoarse, like they haven't used it for a long time. Remus is immediately weary, even though the stranger looks very young and rather unimpressive, expect for the very posh accent and the fact that despite their extremely strong magical aura, they did look startled, almost terrified when Remus walked up behind them — and yet, their hand never even twitched to draw a concealed wand.

"I’m armed!" the stranger warns — maybe they expected a muggle? —, but still doesn't move to reveal any weapon. Remus is quite certain she could take them on in one-on-one combat regardless, should it come to that, but she finds it alarming that this runaway teen would survive alone in the wilderness for what seems like a considerable period; a feat that requires a number of skills and the kind of training that does not come with the elocution training the stranger's speech suggests. Not just the accent, the face too... Under the layers of dirt, severe sunburn and a fading black eye, there is just something eerily familiar about them.

She introduces herself as Remus — it's one of her favourite ways to quickly size up a person, based on their reaction to her obviously masculine name. She does the whole cheeky, "whatchagonnado" act she perfected throughout the years, expecting anything from a spiteful comment to a confused eyebrow-raise in response, but the stranger just nods and gives her a polite "hello, Remus", like this was the most normal interaction between two people who just met at a shelter for magical misfits, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The stranger, however, is less forthcoming about their identity, and Remus has to openly ask for their name after 10 minutes of tense, but idle chitchat. The stranger blushes a deep red, and once again, there is that flash of panic in their eyes, before they blurt out "Sirius... Black."

"Oh."

Of course, Remus thinks, wondering how she missed it before. She knows exactly who Sirius is, or who they used to be — she'd seen this face a million times before; a younger, smoother version with fewer sharp angles and without the haunted look in their bloodshot eyes, but the very same face was once plastered all over Britain — on missing flyers, in front page news, later on wanted posters... 10.000 galleons are a fine bit of money for a head like this. She gives the stranger a sideways glance, and they glare right back at her, with a defiant expression that might have betrayed their famous origins, even without the esteemed family name. The Blacks, they do all look the same...

"Well, that answers the question whether you're a muggle" Sirius remarks with a bitter chuckle. "Look, I know what you're thinking. And yes, they do have the funds, but just so we are clear on this, if you move to draw, I'll attack you, and it's gonna be over before you ever reach your wand. You will lose, most likely die, and then I'll have to spend this lovely evening digging a hole for you in the woods instead of sharing a bottle of crappy wine. So, just don't, okay?"

Remus can't help but admire the kid's bravado — they aren't stupid, she can tell that much, if from nothing else, the fact that they somehow successfully evaded one of the most powerful magical families, and their countless footmen, for over three years without ever leaving a trace; and yet, they seem to know when they're outmatched.

"Who says I'd need to draw?" she smirks, hoping to provoke a quick duel out of the youth. She likes to get the power-struggle out of the way early on, just so nobody gets ideas while she's sleeping or in recovery. The young Black might turn out to be a reluctant ally, but they could mean real trouble after the full moon, if they were to follow family tradition in wanting to rid the world of a monster like herself. Three days left until the next transformation, which means she's at the height of her power, so taking Sirius out here and now would be the wisest, and she thinks she could do it without harming them too badly. Nothing she couldn't fix in a blink afterwards.

Sirius measures her with a curious squint, slowly raising their left hand into the air. All five fingers are adorned with a variety of silver rings, from plain, thin bands to heavy signets with rune-engraved stones. A web of glowing lines flare up on the back of their hand, spreading out from an intricate magic sigil on their wrist. They emit a faint, blueish white light, running along each finger to the tip, as Sirius charges up for a wandless spell. Flashy, but creative, Remus thinks, truly impressed for the first time. She's used to wizards relying on their wands to do the work for them, and she knows seven different ways to dismantle the connection before they ever get to fire off. The stranger's magic is different — it's raw and unpolished, but brutally powerful, and very complex, in a geometric sort of way. This would be more difficult than she initially thought, and she's unsure if she could immediately disarm Sirius without having to literally dis-arm them.

To avoid confrontation, she raises a hand in front of her too, conjuring a harmless little will-o-whisp in her palm — a trick she developed as a child, tied up on the bare cement floor of her parents' basement, waiting for the curse to take hold. There was no light in the basement; she was lonely, cold and terrified, so she made herself a friend, a cold flame to keep her company while she was waiting for the moon.

Sirius' eyebrows disappear somewhere under their tangled fringe, but their face lights up with a huge, mischievous grin:

"Remus, the girl raised by the wolves... You're not boring at all, are you?"

[geekkatsblog]

Making my heart race for 45 minutes every week season 17x5 or like everyone else likes to call it Grey's Anatomy.

"A VERY LONG BUT IMPROTANT PART TO READ BELOW."

Now before I get started I was idly scrolling through Instagram instead of studying like I was supposed to and I was recommended a Grey's Anatomy confession site to torture myself (because most of the time I feel irrationally sad after reading when I see my faves being bashed) and I was a good few confessions in when I noticed that someone had taken a part of lasts weeks review word for word and submitted it. I never really thought I would have to but I beg please don't do that. Confession sites tend to make my heart race and when I realized it was my words that were used I was already in the comments, none of my opinions in these are final so I'd rather not have my words posted anywhere else where people can't see the complete picture. Its definitely fine to use it as inspiration but Please do not post my reviews anywhere else, or at least ask first.

*Now finally onto the review*

All in all the episode was like I expected in terms of outcomes however Grey's has got to come up with another genetic disorder besides Alzheimers, because this is yet another doctor with the gene. Not much happened besides the main event so let's hope I don't talk all over myself again.

___________________________________________

Catherine Fox and Jackson Avery

Refuses to wear the mask like the pig headed woman she is. Her especially should take no risks because as it was pointed out in the episode she is immunocompromised. She didn't actually appear in person but I thought I would mention her part in the episode because it gave us Richard and Jackson scenes which I have grown to love and appreciate because they're always wholesome the one they had tonight on systematic racism was great and one that I hope managed to educate viewers on the situation. It's great to see Jackson have someone there who has a parent figure there to listen calmly. Catherine as great of a mother as she is in my opinion sometimes she can come across as an eccentric aunt. I'm glad Richad managed to tame the wildcat and convince her to wear a mask with his sexual promises. We've lost enough Grey Sloan staff and family from it so far.

___________________________________________

Meredith

A hopefully temporary resident at the fake beach where nothing is real. Unfortunately there were no new visitors at the beach. Like I stated last week, I'm not entirely sure if we'll see anymore of the greats such as Mark Sloan, Lexie ect but there's still a chance next week although it seems like she might be waking up, but like I always say with Grey's expect the unexpected She may or may not be out of the deep end yet but I'm just thankful for the few glimpses we got to see George and Derek grace our screens again the nostalgia was great. However as much as I enjoyed seeing them again, I want Meredith to wake up I miss her, she may not be as fun and quirky as she used to be in the earlier seasons but without her working in the hospital it's hard to deny that something's missing from the episodes.

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TEDDY / OWEN/ TOM

(Here we go again.) 😔

This triangle has been going strong for a long time almost too long, and once again they flipped the switch its always back and forth. A few episodes ago she was begging Owen for forgiveness and now she's telling Tom they have a future. I feel like she needs some time to process what she's really feeling most of the time it seems like she's confused and fair enough it all happened so fast the time between her being with Tom and Owen expressing his still lingering feelings to her but now she needs to make sure that the decision she makes now is the one she actually intends to stick with.

On another note Tom seems to be out of the woods, for now at least which is great when he asked for his son I was a little concerned for a bit I wasn't sure if he was really going to make it. He's a douche and a hard ass but he has the potential to have a great character development, so I'm glad he got another chance. And my comments about wanting Helm to be his new protege remains in that small scene they had last week something just clicked with me and there's also the fact that she wanted to treat him despite the risks.

Owen was here as a filler basically, and to reinforce the love triangle again.

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Jo Wilson

Is thinking of switching specialties, if Ben can do it like changing sweaters why can't she switch? I do think it will be a good fit for her the way she has been fawning over the babies of recent it was either that or give her one of her own which in my opinion I don't think she's ready for. But even in all of the excitement I can't help but think that she's only looking at the cupcake and rainbow side for now because although it's awesome being the first one to hold the babies and everything, not every delivery goes well sometimes the babies don't make it or in other cases the mothers die I hope she's ready to face that side of the package as well.

Just mentioning as well that I love the friendship between her and Schmitt. It was an unexpected but pleasant pairing one of which I'm looking forward to seeing more of in the long run.

On the other hand if Jo switches this gives us more of a chance to see Carina as well because she was signed on a a series regular yet we don't get to see her enough except for on Station 19 and on there she's only Maya's girlfriend. I hope it changes soon and they give her more of a plot or something.

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Amelia/Link

Not much relationship content other than Link finding out about her and Koracick's fling and he took her going into the hospital before the end of her maternity leave quite well. They are one of the healthier relationships in Grey's. Right now at least things always get trickier later.

I'm glad she went in though it let Koracick know that he still had people who care about him and she managed to make Teddy who everyone was treating like garbage as well feel a little better.

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Maggie

No Winston today but we got a lot of Maggie content which was great. She was the moral support once again but today I was fine with it I always enjoy her moments with Bailey and at least she was able to be there for her seeing that Ben was MIA and Webber was busy taking care of her patients along with Jackson. Once again a very needed conversation between her and Bailey and I loved that she still went to comfort her despite the fact that rehashing her own mother's death had to be painful to do.

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Bailey

(Thanks for ruining My Girl for me Grey's now instead of feeling happy I'll forever think of Bailey saying goodbye to her mother.)

We all know that whenever Bailey starts spouting out her feelings and asking for help and advice things are about to go down.

Before we get completely into it I'd just like to express my disappointment in the fact that Ben literally dropped everything took the aid car to save his in laws no questions asked then dropped off his mother in law at the hospital with Covid and left his wife who has anxiety without even checking in. I know he's a first responder as well and he isn't allowed into the hospital that easily either but geeze no other phone calls or messages to check in?. He better have been stuck putting out a huge fire or something equally as bad, besides being him being hurt himself at least.

Another foot note to appreciate Bailey primping before her facetiming with Ben. Go get it hun. Their relationship be cute as usual.

Then the big revel her, mother has dementia, yet another doctor with the alzheimers gene. The moment between her and Meredith was heartwarming to be honest it's a foreign thing seeing them so close and having life conversations still but it's something I hope we get to see often they've had them as semi rivals/ semi friends long enough.

It was hard to see her have to say goodbye and the fact that her father couldn't be there to tell his wife any final words and be there to hold her as she passed made it worse, his wife that he was married to and loved for so long had to die without the comfort of her husband by her side and her daughter could barely hold her hand because of the bulk of her suit, then one of the saddest parts was that she possibly didn't even know what was happening to her. But thankfully Bailey could have been there to sing to her and keep her calm, a lot of people don't even get that much of a chance during the pandemic their loved ones die alone.

The moment I saw the conversation with her dad and the way she was only half listening I knew she was going to blame herself at some point over what happened, it remains to be seen if Maggie's speech worked or if she's going to continue to blame herself. Like I stated before I love the conversation her and Maggie had. One of the reasons why I haven't stepped off the Grey's Carousel is because they touch on topics that others don't cross they aren't afraid to touch the important and controversial things.

I was too being sad over her mothers death at first but I also want to talk about her and Webber's friendship he immediately postponed everything to be there for her, he took over her workload and still made sure he was there in time to be there and support her when she watched her mother flat line.

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The pandemic has always been real to me but somehow seeing the names of those that passed at the end was surreal I found myself just staring at the screen for a few minutes later reflecting on everything.

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Next week is the winter finale and I have no idea how it could get anymore dramatic than it already is. There's been so much already but Grey's always manages to surprise me. Then after that episode it's back to nothing until March 😭😭😭.