#in my office so the people I’m in charge of know I’m a nerd

[inquirenorth]

[nuri148]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for the ask! No, I hadn’t been asked this before.

It was quite hard to come up with 10 names for, outside of my current blorbos, throughout my life (which is quite longer than that of most people around this site) I’ve consumed and loved a lot of fiction, and so I’ve loved many characters, but also many of them I fell in love when I was too young to know (or remember) why I liked them, or know anything about characterization at all.

Still, I tried to cover a wide variety of works/genres, which as I racked my brains came with some interesting revelations:

- The first characters that came to mind were all males. It took me an extra effort to recall some female characters that I love.

- The list is white af. This can be for a number of reasons, all related to complex societal dynamics, cultural constructs and how the media portrays or ignores this. This is meant a light hearted ask, so I won’t delve into that, but I did want it to make clear that yes, I’m aware this list lacks diversity.

Some of these media I haven't seen for years so apologies if my memory of some details is not very accurate.

Last but not least, as I don’t like the reductionism of “top x”, I am listing with bullets for these come in no particular order. (Except Levi, of course; as current top Blorbo he could actually fill the top 10 by himself.)

Levi Ackerman (AoT) – He kicks ass, he’s a no-nonsense guy, he’s got a rough exterior but it’s a kind person. He’s had a shitty life but he chooses to be the good guy, even if he has to resort to violence sometimes.

Severus Snape (HP) – I said it already and I’ll say it again that I’ve no proof and no doubt that if you were a Snape fangirl, you’ll be a Levi fangirl. Snape makes Levi look like Miss Congeniality in comparison. He too had a rough life,went over to the dark side, yet realised he’d fucked up big time and spent the rest of his life trying to minimize the damage his actions had caused. PLUS he’s a huge nerd.

Mike Ehrmentraut (BB/BCS) – Mike is SO OVER being a badass. He just wants to live a quite life spoiling his grandaughter. His curse is being too good at what he does, and he can’t help but care about the idiots that would die if he wasn’t there to clean their messes. (On the topic of diversity... Honorable mention for Stanley from The Office and Lester from The Wire, whose “I’m too old for this shit” vibes give me life).

Arya Stark (GOT) – She didn’t stay around suffering for her losses nor went into a rampage, nope. She took the long scenic route to become a pro killer to serve her revenge in a cold dish.

Heidi (from the 70's anime series)– Hands down my first and oldest Blorbo. She lived in the mountains, roamed barefoot on beautiful meadows, was friends with a bunch of goats and all the little critters of the alps. What’s not to love? (At the ripe age of 3, I would make my mum buy me goat cheese bc if Heidi ate it, so must I. At 4 my parents took me to the mountains in winter so I could see the snow and the fir trees that Heidi loved. We’re rewatching now and my new Heidi Blorbo is Joseph the dog, he’s got big Mike Ehrmentraut energy).

Jesse Pinkman (BB)– He’s a good guy who fell into the wrong path. He’s had rotten luck, partly brought onto himself through bad choices and poor judgement, yet he still tries to do good and craves some love.  

Petunia Dursley (HP)- Harry's unlikable aunt kinda grew on me over the years, as we saw some of her backstory and how it resonated with parts of my own family history. She grew up knowing herself the lesser child and I believe she never got a chance to smooth things over with Lily. In spite of which P. still cared enough to do the right thing and take charge of Harry (horribly, admittedly).

Omar Little (The Wire) - I don't usually like "bad" characters but Omar was more badass than he was bad. Circumstances made him a violent criminal but he I believe he had redemption potential. Also, how cool is it that he was unequivocally gay in a setting where everyone tends to be so macho... but of course no one would say anything about it. bc it's Omar.

Peter - he's the MC and first person narrator from a rather unknown Ray Bradbury's short story titled “I’m not so dumb” which is one of my favourite Bradbury's tales. Like the title suggests, as the story unfolds the simple-minded Peter will try to show his neighbours that he's not that stupid.

Mafalda - I could not leave out the title character of the (likely) most famous comic in Argentine history. Mafalda's concern for world affairs is of course unrealistic, but it does sort of put those call-outs "in the mouth of babes".

[macgyvertape]

wwdits s4 thoughts (spoilers)

I didn’t start till October so I knew some stuff through my dash, very glad I saw the post where the interviewers said Guillermo and Nador wouldn’t get together to set my expectations after OFMD

The djinn is a really fun character

Glad The Guide is more of a main character the series needed another female character.

Marhwa is one of the most sympathetic characters in the show, peak she deserves better than this dude

I saw that Guillermo embezzles from the club in a LOT of posts because it was cute to see him take care of his parents. But it’s still heavily implied from this early ep.

The season is really clear in setting up each character's motivation and character arc.

Nadja’s arc has been my favorite. Lmao to the way she said  “kill them all” to solve her workers unionizing.

Lazlo’s struggles of fatherhood where he’s a bad dad in different ways has been my least favorite. But then again I don’t want kids so I’m not interested in parenting subplots.

Guillermo FaceTiming someone twice is notable, only people he pays this much attention to outside of the vamps and family is a potential victim. But this is a very different vibe

Nador vs Guillermo fight is even more tense and charged than last season. Even after rewatching I'm confused at what parts of the fight they were staging for escape versus actually into beating the other

Nadja union busting through narcotic bribery, Nadja’s always been a fuck you got mine "girlboss", especially when her power is being challenged. Nice that it didn't work, workers unite!

The parent interview was just too much cringe comedy for me

Love Guillermo’s jewel tone jacket outfit. Hope there's a post that points out all the designer items

Wedding episode had an ad that I noted down since I was watching ad-free. Clever trick it was for the go flip yourself tv show in universe.

Everyone looks so nice in their wedding outfits. Costuming in this show has always been great and its easy to overlook it

I was trying to pin why Guillermo seems so different this season, and I really think it is that he found confidence and is less desperate . Other characters are respecting him more too.

Nandor made peak cursed wish with “like the same things I like” I was confused until the end of the season if he immediately wasted 2/3 wishes instead of fixing that wish since he obviously seemed so uncomfortable with it

“Because I’m gay” holy shit! Such an emotional moment, yeah the family always knew but still it’s such an impactful moment. The show has had a range of queer characters but it's often more played for laughs while this is more heartfelt. I'm old enough it's also a brief moment of "wow things have come so far"

Lmao at the cliche home renovation episode, I love when a tv show adopts the visual style of another genre of show (like Leverage "The office job"). I deeply enjoy home renovation shows, good or bad they're only reality tv I enjoy. I think it's my favorite episode in the show, and I genuinely wasn't expecting Simon the Devious.

Maybe because I am watching these all at once that the heavy parody parts of each episode stick out. Guillermo being the overworked friend planning the wedding is a romcom classing. The Baron doing the cliche makeover montage.

Wow so Freddie gave the business card as if he's trying to buy valuable antiques from someone he thinks is senile, and Nador is fine cheating and being a home wrecker to meet up. hmm

Wait Marhwa ends that episode overwritten and basically dead in body and mind?! Freddie is a cheater! I feel really bad for Guillermo, ESH but him

Holy shit sunrise and sunset the song from Fiddler. As a theater nerd I know this ep is going to be sad also wow Matt berry can sing

Colin feeding on anger makes sense, I though he was being annoying at times but chalked that up to finding all kids annoying, but you can farm a lot of anger as an annoying kid.

Classic that Nadja got so proud her arrogance led to the club's downfall. Very short-sighted she didn't take the money out before the arson for insurance fraud.

Colin back to himself with no memory nothing changed. Hmm did the experience of being a parent change Lazlo?

Guillermo spent a year of his life devoted to things that as he put it didnt change. The reasons he gave in first episode for not walking out didn't amount to anything in the end

GUILLERMO BUYING HIS WAY INTO VAMPRIISM FUCK YEAH. he's really changed since season 1. The chorus ending is pretty great.

I’d rate it 2nd best season behind last season, major points lost because I liked Marhwa and I’m sad what happens to her. I'm not judging Nandor's actions this season as morally "worse" than the others, but being shitty to your SO is more relatable and personal.

Wow for the first time I’m interested in fanfic for this show starting with “different choices canon divergence” au and “picks up right where season ended” since next season will prob start with a timeskip.

[solutions-problem]

P.E. Day

P.E. Day, Mask’s least favorite part of the job. Running and gunning, hell yeah he could do that! Nothing quite like sprinting around and lighting up evil organizations or incomprehensible monsters! But P.E. Day? Hell, hell on earth. 

Mask neared his examination room, dragging his feet with each step he took. He did, however, bring his favorite two guns. Two different model pistols he had painted cool birds onto. He liked birds. Real cool dudes, he thought. He liked watching them fly and flutter about to and fro. They really seemed free, capable of anything. The world at their beak tips. So, he made sure those cool feathered friends were placed right in the things he used almost every single day. Made him smile.

He groaned as he opened the door to the office, glaring at the man with the clipboard who was lounging on a soft looking chair with his legs crossed over one another. 

“Please sit down right over there, Captain.” The therapist’s tone was calm, peaceful, and as Mask thought, incredibly boring. He walked himself to the couch before tossing himself onto the couch. It was clear he was already having a bad time.

“So, as you know, we need to perform a psychological evaluation routinely to make sure-” But before the therapist could continue the general spiel, Mask interrupted him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before, since you nerds keep me coming back every freaking month.” Mask was already agitated, and he hadn’t even started the evaluation yet!

“...Right, we perform these routine examinations to make sure that your mental state hasn’t been compromised by any of the anomalous entities you encounter on a daily basis. So, I’m just going to talk to you, ask some questions, and then you can get out of here, sound alright to you?”

“No, but this is mandatory, so, I kinda have to be here.”

“Alright, Captain. Before we start, do you have any preferred titles?” 

“Just call me Mask, ‘kay? ‘Nough with the ‘Captain’ bullshit, got it?”

The therapist adjusted his glasses as he wrote something down on his clipboard. Mask hated that, he wanted to know what that asshole was writing!

“Of course. But could you please take off your mask? It’s important to see your facial movements.”

Mask had honestly forgotten about having his mask on, he wore it all the time. Never took it off. It felt like part of his face, so, he tended to just forget he was wearing one at all. “Nope, keeping it on. If you’re gonna keep me in here, I get to keep the mask.” Mask wasn’t about to let this therapist prick take his mask off. That’s essentially his face now!

“Ah, understood, Mask. Now, let’s get to know each other a little better, alright? So, let’s start towards the beginning. What was your childhood like?”

“Coming out swinging, eh, doc? You should have it right there in your notes.”

“I do, but it’s important to see how you recall it, your recollection.”

“Fiiiine.” Mask groaned. “I had a pretty bog standard childhood, like most people. When I was young my parents sold me to the Solution’s childhood training initiative where I got to work training to be the cool badass I am now.” 

Mask wasn’t a big fan of thinking about his childhood, since, well, he didn’t really have one. 

“Right, and after that, you started training with your peers. How did that go?”

Mask readied some snarky comeback, but, he noticed some horrible shadow beast behind the therapist. He put his sarcasm on hold to deal with the issue. “Hey, doc, is there something behind you, or is it just me?” 

The therapist looked behind himself, seemingly confused. Mask had gotten his answer without the therapist’s real input. “Yeah, thought so. Anyway, training, right. Well, I was just a league above everyone else, so, they all hated me. The guys in charge saw how cool and awesome and handsome and-”

“You’re getting off track, Mask.”

“Fuck you. Anyway, yeah, they noticed I was different outta the bunch. Could see things others couldn’t. For better or for worse. Helped me deal with the mind warping dicks and see those who hid from sight. Eventually I got my mask, became a Task Force Captain, and the rest is history.” 

“Alright, but, you said you had no friends during training. How did that make you feel?”

“I didn’t care, I don’t need friends. They’re just gonna get themselves killed since they aren’t as awesome and smart and funny as me.”

“So, even now, you have no friends whatsoever? What about Doctor Kennedy?”

“He’s an exception. Don’t lump him in with the self destructive losers who work here. Jack’s... Jack’s cool. Plus, he’s undead, so I don’t need to worry about him getting himself killed. He’s pretty rad.”

“So, you’d say you’re close with Doctor Kennedy?”

“Don’t try to put words in my mouth, doc.” Mask did like Jack Kennedy. He was pretty much Mask’s only friend in all of the Solution. Plus, he pissed off the Board, and he loved that.

“Alright, well, during the training in your youth, to backtrack, you were trained to feel as little positive emotion as you can in order to maintain professionalism. Do you think that’s played any parts in your psyche?”

“Hm? Wha? No, no. Didn’t do jack. I’m just a badass now, don’t need that emotional junk.”

“Except for Doctor Kennedy, right?” The therapist interjected.

“Don’t bring Jack into this. He’s different. And this is about me, not him, so don’t try and get me talking about Jack.”

“Alright, I’ll stay on topic, then. How has your mental state been so far? Would you say any of the Quo Breakers you’ve dealt with recently have affected your psyche?” Quo Breakers, weird name. Mask just liked calling them monsters. But the Board insisted on Quo Breakers as the official term, since they broke the Status Quo. 

“Nope, not anymore than I do myself. So, can I go now? I’m getting lunch with Jack in like... Half an hour.”

The therapist had been writing down notes the whole interview, tapping the pen against the clipboard absentmindedly. “Alright, I think that’s good for now. I’ll see you again in another month, Captain.” 

“It’s Mask. Nerd.” Mask got up and walked past the tentacled beast he saw in the doorway. The therapist hadn’t screamed in terror, so, he knew it wasn’t actually there. He couldn’t wait to go grab a bite to eat with Jack, Hopefully no horrific eldritch god tries to destroy reality and interrupts lunch again. 

[lylethewarblerguy]

Incoming rant about something I might be the only one who cares about…

The Warblers Governance Structure

So, we all know that the Warblers governance structure is incredibly inconsistent throughout seasons (even by glee standards). Some people will say that it’s because it just changed in canon from year to year. Whilst others don’t give enough of a shit about it to come up with an explanation at all. Personally, I really enjoy coming up with explanations for glee canon that include ALL bits of canon and try to make sense of inconsistencies, rather than explain them away or ignore them (not to say that those are invalid approaches, I’m just a nerd who likes to overthink stuff). So that’s what I’m going to try to do today.

First off, let’s go over what the governance structure looks like throughout the seasons. When the Warblers are introduced in season two they are unofficially led by Blaine, but officially led by a council made up of three upperclassmen (Wes, David, and Thad). In season three, after Blaine has left, Sebastian takes over and describes himself as “captain of the Warblers now”, throughout this season we don’t see any indication of the council still existing. In season four not much changes, other than that Hunter takes over as captain. In season five Hunter is gone and the council would appear to be back. By which I mean that Sebastian is leaning on the council table talking to someone. It also looks like Sebastian is back to being captain (or at least back to being in charge). In season 6 the council remains, what would appear to be a captain remains (though I’m unsure if they ever explicitly call him that), and all of a sudden the Warblers have a coach. The coach being an adult supervisor who in season 6 also does a lot of their planning, meaning that whilst the students still make some decisions it is no longer a fully student-led club.

I will now go over each of the three leadership types (Coach, Council, and Captain) and explain how I reconcile my headcanon that the Warblers have always had all three.

Now, whilst the coach is the leadership type that we see the least of it is also the easiest to explain. It seems highly unlikely that Dalton Academy would allow students to completely do whatever they want without any sort of adult supervision. Which is why it’s easy to believe that they have always had a coach. And that the coach just took a more active role in season six either out of personal choice or because of the whole season four drug thing and the school wanting to keep a closer eye on them. We also see in season six that the coach has his own office to the side of the Warblers rehearsal space. Which would explain why we never see any coaches throughout the previous seasons. They may have just been in their office and popped in every now and then to check on how everything is going.

The council is slightly more tricky to reconcile as they seem to play a very big role in seasons two and six but be near completely absent from seasons three to five. At least, that is how it appears at first glance. The answer becomes quite obvious once you think about what else seasons two and six have that the others don’t. They both show us the Warblers from the Warblers perspective. Which is also when they show the council. If you took season two and edited out all the times we see the Warblers from their own perspective, and only include what the New Directions would have seen, then there is no indication at all that the Warblers have a council. And that’s in a season when the New Directions have one of their own on the inside, so to speak. So if the Warbler council is just something kept internally and that isn’t really perceived by other groups, then why would they be seen in seasons three to five? Basically, I believe that the council was there, and was making decisions but that we simply didn’t see them because we were watching from an outside perspective.

The most difficult to explain is the captain. They don’t call anyone captain in season two (and I’m unsure if they do in season six) yet they very clearly state that they have captains in seasons three and four. Keep in mind that I’m autistic and not great at reading people but to me the way that Sebastian says that he’s “captain of the warblers now” seems to indicate that there was a captain before him. Which would mean that there was a captain in season two, just that we never heard him referred to as captain. But then the question is, who would that be? Some say the season two captain would be Wes because he’s the head of the council but I would disagree. I like to think that the council sort of acts like the parliament and that the captain acts like the prime minister (or like the senate and the president). They are two separate governing bodies. The captain sings lead and makes all the immediate decisions. Whilst the council makes the larger decisions and gets to veto decisions made by the captain or by vote. And just like the prime minister is also in the parliament, the captain can also be on the council. Though he doesn’t have to. And as the council is made up of upperclassmen, if a captain is not an upperclassman, like Blaine, then he can’t be on the council. So the captains were therefore Blaine (not on the council), Sebastian (likely on the council), Hunter (ambiguous), Sebastian again (likely on the council), and Skylar (on the council).

So in conclusion I believe the Warblers always had all three governing bodies, who all had varying degrees of power and kept each other in check. The coach being the adult supervisor, who takes more control in season six after the atrocity that was season four. The council generally being in charge of larger decisions like who gets to join the team, who gets a solo, and who the captain is. And the captain generally singing lead and making the actual performance decisions, like the set list. That being said, what each section is in charge of kinda changes over time depending on who is the captain/on the council.

This is how it would look over time:

[bemusedlybespectacled]

have you been following the george floyd trial? what's your opinion on it? (esp considering your lawyer expertise)

I’ve been sitting on this ask for a couple of days because I wanted to wait until the trial was over and the verdict came back.

Usual preamble: I’m not your lawyer or the lawyer of anyone else on Tumblr, and this isn’t legal advice. Also I’m not a criminal attorney and I definitely don’t practice in MN (which I’m given to understand has whacky state laws). This is 100% Monday morning quarterbacking.

1) This was a very unexpectedly good outcome. My coworkers and I thought that he’d get murder third or manslaughter but not murder second, not because they couldn’t prove the higher charges, but because it’d be an easy “middle ground” between guilty on all counts and not guilty on all counts. 

2) The defense had an incredibly shitty position. They had video footage of their client killing a man in broad daylight while he begged for his life, and the trial was televised and scrutinized by everyone across the country and half of them were going to disagree over the decision, regardless of what it was. So they were already working with a deck that, despite the fact that their client is a white male police officer, was stacked against them. If it felt like they were grasping at straws, it’s because they totally were. That’s normal, even for a good defense.

Chauvin not testifying is also very normal for a criminal defendant: every single public defender I’ve ever talked to has said they tell their clients to shut the fuck up. This is because once you open the door to testifying (to “tell your story” or whatever), you can’t suddenly rely on your 5th Amendment rights to back out of cross examination, and any competent prosecutor will destroy you on cross. But if I were a criminal defense attorney (and I’m not), I’d consider putting Chauvin on the stand if I thought that it would help at all: if he’d come across as likable, or remorseful, or like the prosecutor was being mean to this poor man. And I do wonder if his attorney thought that he’d come out worse if he was put on the stand because he’s a repellant individual.

3) The prosecution was... refreshingly aggressive? Like, not aggressive for prosecutors, I mean aggressive for prosecutors going after a cop. There have been other cases (Michael Brown* and Breonna Taylor among them) where I think the prosecution handled the case extremely badly. But in this case, a lot of the evidence they introduced seemed to me to be for the purpose of building an absolutely ironclad record. Same thing with the jury: it’s a very diverse pool that practically guarantees Chauvin won’t be able to complain that it was biased. 

Also, that cross examination was just... [chef’s kiss]. I have a new appreciation of trial tactics after recently going through what can only be described as “trial bootcamp,” and Blackwell in particular was just really, really good. It’s fun for me because I’m a nerd about it, so I don’t know if other people get excited like I do, but for me it was almost cinematic.

*I have a lot of Thoughts™ about the entire Mike Brown investigation and situation, which can be summarized as “it was a fuckup from beginning to end even if you think Darren Wilson was an innocent flower who did nothing wrong.”

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 7/?

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N Any Name (your best friend’s name), (Name) - your ex’s name !genderneutral (Don’t use a DC character! Y/N hasn’t dated any other DC character!) :)

3.5k words, my god. And they’ve still only known each other for 4 days and we’re on part 7. I do not know how to finish this.

Lol, Enjoy!

Warnings: Swearing, Heated moments, There is French in this one, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Falling asleep in Jason’s arms after that escapade the two of them pulled the night before was something magical to say the least. Of course, they only got like 5 hours of sleep before they had to wake up and get out, at risk of Y/N being caught in the building, although the thrill of it excited the both of them deeply, but that’s obvious. They liked breaking the rules already.

Riding back home seemed a lot less like a journey to her this time, she just wanted to spend more time with Jason, but he had work and she didn’t want to hang out at Wayne Enterprises. She’d probably go to the library today, she didn’t know exactly what she’d do today, but she always thought that was the most exciting thing ever. “I don’t know what I’m even going to do tomorrow,” one of her friends asked when she moved to Gotham, ‘How exciting!’ she answered.

That friend said the next day she ran through the streets of Metropolis with her arms outstretched like a kid, and she did it in Y/N’s honor. “I told you!” she said, “How exciting that sometimes you never know what you’re going to do tomorrow!”.

These thoughts swirled in her head as Jason drove her back home when, like clockwork, like it was out of a movie, he said,

“I have no idea what I’m even going to do today.”

She laughed, “I always say ‘How exciting!’ when someone says that to me.”

“Really?”

“One of my friends back home, when I gave her that advice, she then spent the next day running around the city with her arms outstretched in my honor, it was apparently one of the more fun things she’s ever done, so” she paused, “I really mean it. how exciting! The possibilities are endless, are they not?”

“Well, not really, I have work to do,” he frowned.

“So own it. Make the office your bitch. Take charge, take lead.”

“Why not?” he said in agreement.

“Why the fuck not.”

-------------------------------------------

Jason walked her to her door, “Won’t you be late?” she asked,

“Dad knows where I am, I don’t think I’ll have my ass handed to me.”

“You never know,” she laughed.

He laughed too and slightly pecked her lips. He wanted more, he was hungry for more out of that kiss, but work and life gets in the way of their relationship, and he really whined when he had to break away, but she laughed at it.

“Slow your roll Tiger, one day,” she mused.

“You say that like you don’t want more.”

“This isn’t about me,” she retorted, “So, shut up, respectfully.”

He laughed and kissed the back of her hand, “You have a thing for doing that, huh?” she joked.

“I literally don’t know how to answer that, I think I’m losing my touch with flirting,” he joked back.

“Okay, okay, you need to get going now.”

“Fine! You want to get rid of me so badly, I get it,” he joked and walked back to the car and she waved him off. She hated that time he left, a lot. She knew it was healthy to take a day’s break if they’ve been on 3 back-to-back dates, but that didn’t mean she liked it.

She opened her door and walked in, thinking A/N was asleep so she wouldn’t be barraged for her hair being a mess, but, boy oh boy, was this girl waiting for her to get home.

“What happened? Why’s your hair a mess? Oh my god, did you have sex?” she asked.

“No, but we kissed, will you take that as information while I shower or do you want all the details now?”

“You can shower, you can shower. I’m not that needy.”

“Yes you are,” Y/N joked and went to go shower.

And like she always did, she opened her phone and looked at the news before answering her friends,

Millionaire’s Son, Jason Todd's Girlfriend’s Name Revealed!

She laughed, cause it wasn’t her name. She didn’t think he was seeing anyone else, and they used her picture, so she knew they just fucked it. She forwarded the article to Jason with the caption ‘ Fuckin’ idiots’ .

She then answered Artemis, who asked Did you two kiss? Dick’s up my ass about it ‘cause he knows we’re friends.

I want to take that out of context so badly. She joked with Artemis.

I knew this man had a terrible name that would come to haunt me, but did ‘ya kiss?

Yeah we did. Get Dick out of your ass, though, that’s weird, you have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend.

Shut up, you’re not funny.

I’m pretty funny.

You are but I’m not going to admit that, girl.

And one of her old friends had texted her, it was someone who Y/N had seen off and on the past few years, they were polite, but she didn’t exactly want to speak to her ex.

Hey.

(Name)? What do you want?

Saw you in the news with the rich boy, guess we’re over?

We have been over for like 5 months, my guy. 

Bitch.

Okay!

People from her hometown were noticing her in the articles and recognizing her. Some would think this is the coolest thing that someone they loved met a nice boy, the money a bonus, some would give her the reaction her ex did, but she knew she was days, hours, maybe minutes away from her parents finding out about her love affair with Jason.  

She shuddered at the thought, she loved her parents, a lot, but something told her that maybe they wouldn’t did Jason to be like she found him. She also knew she could be overthinking it entirely and they’d like the Criminal Psych Major that she knew all-too-well.

But overthinking was fun, apparently. And she couldn’t stop thinking the worst of so much.

------------------------------------------------

When she got changed and just threw on whatever the fuck she saw, she went out to go talk to A/N.

“Hey, nerd. I’m done,” Y/N said.

“Nerd? You’re the one dating the bookworm and  you’re in criminal psychology,” she joked.

“Ha, ha. So, how are things with your lover? Have you secured him yet or are you just doing your own thing still?”

“Still just doing our own thing, don’t really have the time to date while getting my degree and working.”

“I mean, if it works for you I can’t throw judgment.”

“What about Jason? How’re things with you two?”

“You ever seen the Wayne Enterprises Ballroom before?”

“In pictures, why- Don’t tell me he took you there you lucky bitch?!”

“Then I just wont tell you,” she laughed.

“The Ballroom? Oh my god, that’s crazy, he's really pulling out all the stops to make you smile, huh?”

“I would do the same if I had more to offer, but I have barely anything since I bought that place in the dance competition across the country,” she said.

Y/N had bought a place in this competition before she met Jason, and she was heading to it on Saturday, in two days, and she actually had practiced the routine during downtime between her and Jason. She hadn’t exactly told Jason about this, and Jason had asked why she looked strained and like her muscles hurt, but that just never seemed like something you share with your casual partner, to her. She never seemed like her casual competitions were worth anything. A/N had begged to differ since Y/N had met her.

A/N said that Y/N had talent, that she could go somewhere, Y/N saw it as an extra circular that didn’t affect her much. She wasn’t the type of brag, and all her trophies were back home with her parents, anyway.

“Have you told him about your,” insert A/N’s heavy sarcasm, “’Casual’  competitions, yet?”

Idk what the hell happened with that line ya love to see it

“I’ll send him a quick text about it, I guess,” she sighed and sent just a quick, Hey, can’t have a date on Saturday-Sunday, forgot to tell you but I’m going to Cali for a quick dance competition, lol. My bad, shoulda said something.

“Why are you like this, be proud of your accomplishments, dammnit!”

“It’s a casual competition!”

“And you’re talented! I’m this close to just showing him videos of you going at it,” she said, exasperated.

“He already knows, we danced in the Ballroom.”

“Oh my lord,” she laughed, “You’re an enigma, if I had your amount of trophies I wouldn’t be hiding it.”

“Im’ not hiding it! It just kind of never came up.”

And he texted back, Oh damn, are you at least going to kill it? You better, I want to show the live broadcast to my family and brag.

She laughed, “See!”, she exclaimed, showing A/N the texts, “He doesn’t care like you do, nerd.”

A/N laughed, “Sure he doesn’t. Do you want to go to lunch, by the way? I’m bored off of my ass.”

“Sure, why the fuck not.”

“Go get dressed then, and I’ll do the same.”

“Okay okay, meet up in 10?”

“Yes ma’am.”

And off they went.

---------------------------

Y/N texted back Jason for a quick minute before getting dressed, Of course I’m going to kill it, my notes aren’t a representation of my dancing skills.

Well, I hope you win something. And text me. But mainly win something.

Of course I’ll text you, Jay. It gets boring at competitions.

You should go to a Wayne Gala then, god damn, those fuckin bastards are the most boring events this side of America.

Well maybe you’ll invite me one day.

I’ll probably have to if you show up on National TV. The press will finally know your name.

I hope I’m not on National TV then. Fuck the press.

Fuck the press indeed.

Since Y/N didn’t feel the need or want to dress up, she didn’t. Quick shirt and jeans and she was out the door. Sometimes she would dress up for lunch dates with her friends, just because she was bored as fuck and dressing up was fun, but she just didn’t want to do it today. Combat boots, jeans and a shirt were enough most days. You don’t have to be a model just because the press knows your face, she thought, you don’t.

“Who’s driving?” A/N asked.

“I can if you want. I don’t mind,” Y/N said as they walked to the beat up car they loved so much. It was nothing compared to the Porsche she had been in the night before, but it was still running, and you don’t fix something that ain’t broke.

“Maybe your boyfriend will buy you a new car,” A/N joked.

“If anything, he’d buy me a new computer, since mine is getting mailed to me and you’re going to love hearing the sounds that bitch makes,” she retorted.

“Is it bad?”

“Terrible. My sister called it a screaming electronic goat once,” she laughed, “I hate that fucking thing. But if it ain’t broke-”

“Don’t fix it, I know.”

“Exactly.”

--------------------------------------------------

For some reason, they decided in the car to go to McDonald's, because hey, it’s not like Y/N is on a  dance diet or anything. She wasn’t, because she didn’t want to starve herself for the sake of winning a competition. That was even her thought process as she was younger and more vulnerable to her teachers, she always told them she’d never do that. Years later, she still stuck to that mindset.

They got out of the car and like fucking clockwork, the press was in her face.

“You! The girl with no name, Jason Todd’s girlfriend!”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” she whispered under her breath, “How do they always find me!”

“Tell us about yourself! Are you serious with Jason? How do you feel about his family? How-”

But then she had an idea,

“Quoi? Je parle pas l’Anglais? Qu’est-ce-que vous voulez?” she said, using her bilingual skills to her advantage.

“What? No I mean-”

“Pas de l’Anglais! Désolé mes amis!” and she ran off into the McDonald's with A/N.

“Did you just speak French to get them off your ass, you genius?”

“Spoke very broken French because I wasn’t thinking, but yeah, I did that.”

“I forget you’re multi-talented sometimes, you have a lot hidden under your belt and I try to treat you like a normal person but you’re far from it.”

“I appreciate you for trying, but I think with my new love affair, you aren’t going to get far with those attempts anymore, sorry,” she joked.

Jason texted her, Did you just speak French to avoid the press?

How do you know about that?

We were watching the news during a meeting and they said that you spoke French.

You got to do what you got to do to get by.

That is literally the most genius thing I’ve heard of anyone doing in so long. I think you’ve truly bamboozled them for a while and they might hop off of your back for a while.

You think so? ‘Cause I really hope that’s the case.

My siblings think it’s hilarious, and no one’s leaked that you are just joking with the press, so yeah, they might actually leave you alone.

Let’s fucking go. That is the news of the 21st century.

4 days of knowing each other and you’ve flipped off the press twice, outran them with me once, hid in the Wayne Enterprises Building with me and you’ve spoken French to bamboozle the press. That is impressive.

I feel like the press is going to hate me one day.

Probably. But they also hate most of us most days.

You should probably get back to work.

Yeah, talk to you soon.

She put her phone away and went to stand with A/N, who was waiting for their food.

“Talking to your lover?” she joked.

“When am I not doing that?”

“That’s valid.”

-----------------------------

Going on a lunch date with A/N made a little bit of the harassment just better. They both bonded over how they hated the press before her love affair with Jason, and how their opinions wouldn’t change much unless, knock on wood, one of them went missing. Y/N told her about all the cases where the press and the internet did so much to solve cases around the world, love or hate the press, they did do a lot for solving crime.

She also told A/N that Jason was related to Dr. Barry Allen and Clark Kent, two people the two of them knew well because of the news and the fact that A/N knew Y/N when she wanted to go into forensics and was reading Dr. Barry Allen’s work.

When her mother texted her.

Y/N? Is that you in the press running around with Jason Todd?

Yeah mum, why?

Are you two in a serious relationship?

No mum.

Then why are the vultures so obsessed with you, says your dad.

‘ Cause you two made a pretty girl and he’s high up in the world, I guess, I don’t know. I don’t really like the press.

I can tell. We’re not mad at you honey, but be careful. And your dad says when you two get serious he needs to take Jason fishing.

He doesn’t speak French, mum.

Dad says he’ll work on his English for you.

Well tell everyone I love them, mum.

She panicked a little bit, her parents were nice when they wanted to be, but they were strict, why wouldn’t they be. So this, while being a welcomed surprise. was still a little panicky.

“Your  parents find out?”

“Yeah, they seem chill with it though.”

“Bing in the press sucks when you’re trying to keep your love life out of your parents' eyes, huh?”

“You could say that again,” she joked.

“Being in the press sucks when you’re-”

“I didn’t mean literally!” they laughed.

--------------------------------

Back at Wayne Enterprises, Jason was betting bombarded by his colleges, friends and family about Y/N and how she was able to get around the press’ constant harassment without flaw. And also because Bruce had seen the two enter the building at around 12am the night before. So Jason was called into Bruce’s office that day.

“1, I know everyone is bombarding you, so you can hide out here, son, 2, you and Y/N didn’t have sex in your office right?”

“God no, dad. We just hid here because security is tight as fuck and unable to get past.”

“I saw you two kissing on the cams and heading into your office, Jay.”

“Okay, okay, but we didn't have sex and the intentions were there, dad!”

“Uh huh, pretty girl in your, my, car.”

“Dad, stop it,” he joked.

“Well, her little shenanigans with the press are very amusing, have you told her that?”

“I have.”

“She’s basically not afraid to tell them what we all think.”

“That’s what I said, dad.”

“Well, hold onto that one and don’t let her go.”

“Do you regret doing that with Talia?” Jason asked.

“God no, she’s insane. The son I got out of her antics is literally her spitting image, so if I need to be reminded of her I can just go talk to Damien for a couple minutes.”

“Dami’s a lot like you too, don’t act like his personality is just Talia, he acts like his dad in every aspect and you know that.”

“Lord help any woman or man that kid goes on to date, my god,” the two of them laughed. It was the small things with Bruce that made Jason happy to be a Wayne, even if he didn’t share the last name. Jason grew up on the streets and even before that, his mum and dad didn’t have a lot of money, so the amounts of money that Bruce could shower on him was a lot, but he was okay with just working for his money. And Bruce knew that.

He spent a lot of his workday in Bruce’s office, hiding from the rest of the office, and texting Will.

She knows about your kid.

Well, she’s a good kid. I’m glad you’re bragging about her, means I raised her right.

Shut up. I love that little girl and I’ve helped raise her, Will.

You’re used to my new name?

I changed your contact to Will when you changed your name, so I could remember that that’s your name now and not Roy. I’m hoping I remember it in person though. It would be awkward if I forgot my best friend’s name.

It would be funny to look back on, though.

Like how your relationship with Jade is funny now?

Never stick your dick in crazy.

I wish you would have listened to that sometimes, but then I remember Lian is amazing.

I’m a cliché of dumb choices, what can I say Jaybird.

----------------------

In Y/N’s house, she would always play loud and sad music when she had the chance, some people thought her mental state was fucked, which sometimes it was, but most of the time the sad music went harder than the happy tunes you would catch from the other side of the house.

But even if music was blasting the loudest it could ever be, somehow she would still find herself lost in her thoughts, whether it was new dance routines or a story she would scribble down in her dream journal. there was something about those little fits of artistic passion she would experience from time-to-time.

It’s hard to put into words how those moments reminded her of the simplier times before sh was thrust into stardom, but also how they reminded her of Jason, and untouched mind she longed to know further. She knew there was so much more to the boy she had gone on dates with.

She would end up ignoring her phone for most of the rest of that day, just because she wanted peace and quiet, when A/N’s lover came over and she had to turn the music up louder so she wouldn’t be disrupted by the obvious.

I just got off of work, how are you? How’s your day been? Jason had texted Y/N while she ws turning up the music.

Well, I just had to turn up my music because my roommate’s lover is over, but other than that I’ve been enjoying peace and quiet in my room, waiting for something to do.

Is texting me something to do?

Yes.

That’s sweet of you. Work was boring though so I hope you don’t expect a story.

I don’t, don’t worry. You don’t always need a story for something to do.

Well, I’m going home with my brothers and dad, and we’re probably going to play office chair racing because I’m a bad boy.

You’re a bad boy?

Was that not funny?

It was pretty funny, isn’t that dangerous though?

Yeah actually, my brother broke his leg playing it and another time my little sister broke her leg playing it.

It seems fun but like, damn, two people have gotten injured playing that game, y’know.

Well if I die it’ll be a fun story!

[olivieblake]

Hi Olivie! I am finally back with more praise as I just finished Lovely Tangled Vices yesterday! Apologizes for this one taking forever I started it on your birthday but life really had a way of hitting me this past month so I didn’t have any energy to even read for a couple weeks and I’m still finding my way back to having energy but anyway here is some praise (and some spoilers for anyone else)

So I think my absolute favorite character was Ariadne, I just related to her on so many levels. Like how she took it upon herself to help her sister get to school, taking care of her parents, feeling lonely, etc. My sister is Autistic so a lot of my childhood and adulthood has been me putting aside things maybe I wanted to do to give it to her or help her in some way (I wouldn’t change it for the world but it definitely meant I got less of a childhood/learned responsibility early on). Ever since I was about 11 I also had to help take care of my grandmother (not my parent but same concept) and eventually she started to have dementia and you just had to go with what she was saying, like sometimes I was the banker not her granddaughter or sometimes she was just shocked she had a granddaughter. (Actually she just passed away at the beginning of Feb so that’s what I meant by life hitting me). But yeah I get that and I get how Ariadne just wanted them to feel peace so she used her magic. Then her joining the sorority at the end and getting even more of that sisterhood aspect had me 🥺🥺🥺 That was one of the biggest reasons I wanted to join a sorority because I felt so alone when I was younger and needed some extra love. I loved her so much and related to her a whole lot and just THANK YOU for creating someone like her.

I did also love Prospero though like arrogant assholes are my thing so I adored him the second I met him. Although I won’t lie I did love his and Ariadne’s dynamic and was a little hurt when he got with Aurora (even though I saw the clues leading up to it). Him and Aurora did grow on me though and by the end I loved them and how they were both thieves in their own way and how the map finally showed her and not the treasures it was so cute ahh

As always I love how you draw magic from science too like the one line where it says to draw from entropy was so cool. It makes my science nerd heart happy. All the Tarot cards too I loved (I used to and still do sometimes watch youtube videos of people doing Tarot cards and it’s so fun and soothing)

I loved the concept of the sorority of witches though I definitely want to be a part of TKM (well after Celeste leaves of course). But it was so funny because as a former sorority new member director and then president I had flashbacks to my time in charge. Like chapters, running meetings, talking to the office of fraternities and sorority affairs, bigs and littles, no jewelry/light makeup for initiation, elections,etc. Also as a former president I wanted to knock some sense into Celeste though. But, I appreciate how you also showed the good things a sorority can bring and not all the bad that can potentially happen. I know not everyone has good experiences in sororities, but I personally loved my time in one and I grew into a person that I love, learned how to be a leader, got to meet some lifelong friends, and do service with them (mine was a national service sorority). Last year I read a book that used a witch sorority to just bring about terrible hazing rituals and use it as a tool to make the main character hate herself and that just wasn’t a fun read for me. Sorry babbling but yeah I loved how you used it and showed the good things of it and the consequences of what having a bad leader in the mix can do and how all the sisters fought back (even the alumni) loved loved loved it.

The thing I loved the most about it though was the message about sisterhood and how important that is and how it means you're never alone. In both the sorority sense but more importantly between the two twins. It made me just 🥺🥺🥺 As someone who also has a sister I really felt that hard.

Loved the ending too and how it all wrapped up so nicely but still left us to our imagination about what the characters are up to and their journeys. Also how the book got named!!

Anyway as always thank you for writing such a fun book!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ATLAS SIX (OLIVIE’S VERSION) TO COME OUT IN 2 DAYS!! I already have my book hahaha but I also preordered the audiobook so that I could listen to it while I read the physical copy to immerse myself in the world!! I will have praise on that book but I feel like I already sent you a long one back in August haha but will send one again promise! I’m also picking up another one of your books so except double the praise next month!! Also apologize for getting maybe too personal in this one

Until next time!! -Amanda ❤️

awww thank you so much for this! I was in a sorority and I really enjoyed my time there (I've written a longer post before about how I now feel the greek system has a systemic problem with racism and should probably be abolished even if my personal experience was a true highlight of my college years) so I'm glad to hear that felt real. it really changed my view of sisterhood and womanhood in general. after some mean girls style bullying in my teen years, it was because of my time in my sorority that I was able to stop seeing other women as exclusively my competition and actually realize they could be such powerful, inspirational allies. my sorority sisters are some of the most brilliant, creative, and certainly the funniest women I've ever known and I am all the better for my time with them

so anyway, yes, I love all of this and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

[seriouslycromulent]

Random thoughts on ZSJL after 1st viewing

So dear DCEU fans, before I sit down to re-watch Zack Snyder’s Justice League again tonight, I thought I’d share some of my first impressions and thoughts on the film. I really wanted to take part in the watch party yesterday, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to give the film my full attention if I did so, especially since it would be my first viewing.

But now that I know what was inside my birthday gift (my birthday was March 18th), I can chat about it with others and discuss to my heart’s content. 

However, this is NOT that post. This is not a review. It’s just some of my initial thoughts and reactions, which may or may not change after multiple viewings. 

And yes, I will mark this post as “ZSJL spoilers” for anyone trying to remain unspoiled until they get a chance to watch it at their own pace.

Here we go ...

Question #1 - Why does Barry only burn out of his shoes, but nothing else he’s wearing when he moves to save Iris? Is it the friction against the floor? Or is it just convenient for the sake of visuals? We know the suit he made is designed to withstand wind and heat resistance when he moves, so when he’s not wearing it, are his clothes in danger of getting shredded if he moves fast enough? 

This isn’t snark. I’m genuinely curious. :-)

Reaction #1 - I know it’s blasphemous to speak positively about the theatrical release, but I kind of miss the opening credit sequence with the song playing over the images and interactions of people arguing, fighting and falling into despair after Supes died. I felt it was an apt response in the world in the wake of his death, and it suited Zack’s overall tone connecting BvS to this film from the start. I’m not saying the new opening is bad. Just that I kind of liked the theatrical one better.

Question #2 - Now this is kinda snarky. But does Arthur just leave sweaters and shirts littered all over the place whenever he goes below the surface? What if there’s no one there to pick it up like that lady in Iceland? 

Reaction #2 - I’m love, love, loving the much bigger role of the Amazons in this version. That battle scene with Steppenwolf is still brutal to watch, but the extra screen time is much appreciated.

Reaction #3 - I’m now calling the arrow shot into the Shrine of the Amazons the “Hanukkah Arrow” because it was a miracle the fire stayed lit during its entire journey to the Shrine and how it stayed lit until a film crew caught it on the news. 

R#4 - Even though I knew Victor’s car accident was coming, I was still shook when it happened. Like, I genuinely screamed when the other vehicle crashed into them. That’s how emotionally invested I was in that scene at the time.

R#5 - I liked the juxtaposition of going from Victor’s dysfunctional relationship with his dad to Barry’s sweet, but heartbreaking relationship with his dad. Way to mess with our emotions, Zack.

R#6 - “gorilla sign language” Tee-hee!

R#7 - Great placement with the suicide prevention billboard. It was both seamless and poignant. 

R#8 - As a fellow tea drinker, I like that Alfred is particular about how tea is made, even when the cup of tea isn’t for himself.

R#9 - It’s interesting to see how jerky Victor’s movements are in Chapter 3. I know he will move more smoothly as the film progresses, but I feel like that growth and development in his movements were missed in the theatrical release, which is a shame because it’s a great mirror to his psychological development as well. 

R#10 - It’s a shame how easily Steppenwolf captured the 2nd box thanks to King Orm’s incompetence. Ugh. I can’t stand that guy. 

Question #3 - Why is Arthur responsible for retrieving the box that was lost on his brother’s watch? He’s not king yet, so why does it fall to him? Whatever. Orm sucks.

Question #4 - OK. So I know this was in theatrical release, but how is it that the other team members disappeared when Commissioner Gordon turned his back and Barry didn’t notice it happening? That technically should be impossible unless Barry was distracted by a squirrel or something.

Favorite Hell Yeah Moment #1 - Barry saving the kidnapped people from being hit by the falling debris outside after the team rescues them from Steppenwolf. Go Barry! Do that shit!!! You don’t need lessons on how to be a f*cking hero!

R#11 - So Barry did trip in the original script. Interesting. I still don’t like that. It’s in character for where he is right now on his journey, but I still don’t like it.

Question #5 - Architectural question for the design nerds out there. Why does Lois have a glass pane in her front door in an apartment building in a major metro area in the US? That’s an odd design. Is it a renovated office building? Was her apartment at one point the office of a private detective in a noir film? I need answers.

Favorite Hell Yeah Moment #2 - The J’onn J’onzz reveal is officially one of my biggest thrills of the entire DCEU franchise. Years ago, when people were speculating about who was the 7th in the phrase “Unite the 7,” I said it’s J’onn J’onzz, and fanboys corrected me and insisted it had to be Hal or at least one of the Lanterns. And I was like, “Nope. I bet you it’s J’onn. He could easily already be a part of the story and we don’t even know it.” This is the part where I say to you ... Called It! Like 6 years ago! I f*cking Called It!

R#12 - Yep, by Chapter 5, Victor is moving much more smoothly.

R#13 - Dude!!!!!! The “Not Impressed” moment was better than anything Supes ever did in the theatrical release. Anything. It was just so epic and smooth and smoothly epic. I’m accepting that scene as a part of my personal birthday gift. Zack did that for me. That’s why that’s in there.

R#14 - I know Barry got a couple of hero moments earlier in the film, but none of them compare to the actual reconstruction of f*cking time in order to save everyone. The way the ground literally formed under his feet as he ran had me holding my breath without me even realizing it. Thank you, Zack! Thank you for making Barry more than the comedy relief. Thank you for giving him this moment. He deserves this.

Favorite Hell Yeah Moment #3 - I know everyone is talking about how they cheered when the team goes charging into the building altogether (sans Supes). And don’t get me wrong. That moment is pretty f’cking sweet. But dude, my all-time favorite, jump-out-of-my-seat, and jump-up-and-down moment was when Arthur speared Steppenwolf from behind and lifted him up in the air. I was like ...

The fangirl in me was unashamed and unbossed. Arthur deserved that moment. He spent half the film being tossed around like a ragdoll or brooding like a hot stevedore. He deserved that shit! Yes, yes, he did.

Epilogue thoughts ---

Again, this is the longest film epilogue I’ve seen since LOTR: Return of the King, but I’m not hating, just noting.

The extra scenes with J’onn J’onzz and Deathstroke made my day after everything else made my night. They are 2 of my absolute favorite DC characters who were all but cut from the theatrical release. I’m taking those scenes as ... again ... my personal birthday gifts.

I know we may never get JL2 and JL3, but I felt like the cliffhanger was pretty good. It leaves you wanting more, but not feeling as if you’ve been left high and dry. For those who doubted Zack’s decision to keep it a cliffhanger knowing he may never get to finish the story, I say to you, “Aren’t you tired of doubting this man?”

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Names and Forms of Address in The A-Team

I think it’s really interesting to note how and when Hannibal addresses the others by rank. Under the cut is a ridiculous number of words on this subject from me, your local nerd who should definitely have used the time I spent on this for something else. This isn’t as good or in depth as I wanted it to be but it’s been sat in my drafts for months and I’m bored so I’m gona post it.

With B.A. and Face, Hannibal uses the terms Sergeant and Lieutenant to assert his authority over them, a subtle way of pulling rank on them that makes it hard for them to dispute or be insubordinate. This is perhaps especially true of Face. Hannibal calls Face Lieutenant when Face is complaining or refusing to co-operate, smartly reminding him who is in charge. Face can be a little whiny bitch sometimes, but he also often seems to feel that Hannibal asks too much of him. I know some people ship Hannibal/Face, but I would argue here that occasionally Face falls more into the trap of viewing Hannibal as his dad (which he is. Hannibal is all of their dad okay. Why do you think none of them really have canon fathers??) and of responding to him as such. Whether or not Hannibal is correct in his assertion that Face works best under pressure, Face doesn’t seem to like it very much. Hannibal can quickly circumvent any subsequent whining from Face by pulling rank on him: it comes with the unspoken remark that whatever qualms Face has with what he’s being asked to do are not as important as the task at hand, that he needs to suck it up and do what he’s told. That’s not to say that Hannibal is manipulative (he is, a bit, but that’s not really what I’m trying to say), since he is generally aware of each member of the team’s limits, and how far he can push them, and when to stop. This isn’t the case all the time and occasionally Hannibal does fuck up, but for the most part it holds up.

Hannibal addresses B.A. as Sergeant very infrequently. When he does, it’s on the surface similar to addressing Face as Lieutenant but if you look more closely there is a difference; in both cases Hannibal generally uses their rank titles to assert his authority, but while for Face this acts as a reprimand and reminder, for B.A. it seems to be more of a gesture of encouragement. B.A. thrives on structure, order, and knowing what is expected of him, and just as importantly he likes to know what to expect from the people around him. Being reminded of the structure of the Team and each of their places in it (even though any concept of a hierarchy amongst them is far more blurred than it could have been in a truly military context) seems to work to placate B.A. almost, to assure him of his value and his specific skillset, and to encourage him and spur him on. On occasion Hannibal does seem to use it to get B.A. to stand down if he’s getting too angry - its infrequency probably works in Hannibal’s favour on these occasions as an unexpected form of address may be more effective at getting through to B.A. than simply addressing him how he normally does. On the other hand, Hannibal does generally address him as B.A. even when ‘stepping in’.

When he addresses Murdock as Captain, however, it’s the exact opposite. When Hannibal wants to assert his authority over Murdock (usually because Murdock is Clowning(TM) and Hannibal wants a break), he addresses him just as Murdock. As far as I know, he is the only person in the show to actually refer Murdock as Howling Mad, and even then only once (Mexican Slayride), and not to Murdock’s face. It’s impossible to tell from this one instance exactly what meaning this confers. I take most of Mexican Slayride as canon and even though I know the external reason for discrepancies is because it’s a pilot episode, on a Watsonian level I have to admit I’m intrigued as to where this reference to Murdock as Howling Mad fits into Hannibal’s perception of him. Anyway, when Hannibal addresses Murdock by his rank title, it’s less an expression of authority, and far more an expression both of camaraderie and companionship, and of his confidence in Murdock. By calling him Captain, Hannibal says, I respect you, I know that you are capable, I see you as an adult and I will treat you as such. With what we know of the way Murdock is treated by almost literally every other character, this must be an incredibly reassuring thing to hear, and Hannibal knows this.

It places the emphasis on Hannibal’s reliance on Murdock, reminding him that Hannibal trusts him, even though B.A. and Face repeatedly express doubts about Murdock’s competence. They worry that Murdock will flake out or let them down. There is none of this from Hannibal, ever, that I have noticed, which perhaps accounts in part for Murdock’s particular reaction to Hannibal.

It’s important to remember that Hannibal has never had the same authority over Murdock as he has over B.A. and Face. Hannibal’s command over his pilot is circumstantial, not embedded in their unit’s hierarchy. We can safely assume that Hannibal and Murdock had met, possibly many times, prior to the mission with the Hanoi bank; they would have been able to interact as fellow officers, without any direct authority of Hannibal over Murdock. This is reflected in the way they address each other; address of course goes both ways, and Murdock addresses Hannibal as Colonel far, far more frequently than either Face or B.A. do. It’s a mark of respect, in my opinion, an indication that while they weren’t part of the same unit until the very end of Hannibal, Face and B.A.’s time in the military, they are now, and Hannibal remains the higher ranking officer. It remains a language between the two of them, that ties into their shared experiences of being ranking officers, and of being unorthodox and strange and hyperactive.

[sparkles-and-trash]

You asked for modern atla headcanons. I am usually not that into modern AUs for ATLA, unless they’re set within the world of ATLA - unlike in other fandoms, I find it really weird when I can see a person’s highly regional lived experience stamped all over these characters. But I die for modern AUs where, for instance, Ba Sing Se has outgrown its original walls into a full-on megacity, or the Sato-style mecha - now piloted remotely - are being used by both the benders and non-benders of Republic City (non-benders trying to level the playing field, benders using all tools at their disposal to keep that from happening).

I was really disappointed by the weird political messaging of LoK and in many ways I feel like my desire to see the Gaang translated to that era or an era more similar to our own is a wish for a fixit where Toph’s not a cop and Sokka is around to push back at the assumption of bender supremacy in their society. If I wrote fic I’d write one set in a world similar to our own, with a similar anti-colonial plot as the first ATLA but with some of the conflicts of LoK season 2 added to the mix. I like the idea that the Gaang would at first be fighting an imperialist fire nation, but that Sokka (and Suki) would suck them into a more complex conflict with the world’s current power structure. They’re all in their early 20s instead of their teens - like maybe Sokka’s an engineer who ends up being scouted and initiated by a group of non-bender freedom fighters, and he has to manage his conflicting relationships with them and the Gaang. And maybe Aang and Katara don’t actually get it at first - like Aang’s like, how can you talk about supremacy when I’m literally the last of my people, and Katara’s like, all the Southern Water Tribe benders are dead or (more hopefully) imprisoned stfu, and Sokka’s like - what does it say about our world that benders are so powerful that the fire nation didn’t even consider us when they attacked the SWT - nonbenders still had to pick up the pieces though, and your life is still considered more valuable and important than mine. And Toph’s basically an shameless bender-supremacist that has to have this shit explained to her repeatedly despite the fact that she has experience being condescended to as a result of her disability. Like I want the Gaang to have a serious conflict around this but then actually come around to the idea that defeating the fire nation isn’t the only thing they need to accomplish.

Zuko would actually get it way more quickly, because he knows first hand the intimate damage bending can do, and I love to imagine Ty Lee surprising everyone by leaving Azula for this non-bender army, rather than for Mai or (tangentially) Zuko. She’d be like, yes, I will teach everyone chi blocking, and then they’ll never be as afraid of their “loved ones” as I have been. But Zuko would still be a shitty imperialist at first - just with differently shitty hair. He’d be doing more more intelligence-style stuff (basically Ozai would be like, you’re not even worthy of being called a bender, or being in charge of benders. Go sit in submarines and offices and geotag possible locations for the avatar and spy on the earth kingdom, and maybe if you find the avatar you can come home).

And at 22 Zuko would be mostly going through the motions, totally emotionally stunted, having spent all his time alone or with people he’s been taught to think were really beneath him, but he’d be slowly getting the idea that Ozai’s absolutely full of shit. “Spying” (he’s not very good at it) and spending all this time with non-benders has a)allowed him time to move in circles Azula never would (nobody but the royal family and a fire nation few nobles know about Zuko’s scar, so he’s not clocked as anything but a victim of the fire nation) and b) allowed him time to appreciate his non-bending skills (he’s still really into swords because Zuko’s always going to be a nerd) and the non-bending skills of his underlings. He starts wondering why these people are even working toward the fire nation’s goals, and then slowly realizing some of them actually aren’t - there’s a whiff of low-grade sabotage around a lot of fire nation missions, and Zuko begins to realize specific non-benders are responsible. He doesn’t immediately expose them - instead he (inexpertly) tails them to a meeting, and is promptly kidnapped by chi-blocking non-benders. Ty Lee obviously knows who he is, and while most of the leaders of the non-benders want to use him as some kind of bargaining chip with the fire nation, she nixes that idea on account of Ozai not giving a shit, and instead says, “shit, we’ll just have to imprison him.” Meanwhile Zuko’s like… this sucks but also I think you guys are onto something. Sokka (in glasses, because I love Sokka in glasses) keeps visiting him to gather intel (which he could just get from the more advantageously placed Ty Lee) and stare at him. And bring him food and films, and complain to him about the fire nation’s drone technology. And accidentally little bits of the non-bender’s plans. Eventually Zuko’s like you shouldn’t be telling me any of this, but since you are I’m going to help you with this stupid thing I think you might be planning that I know won’t work for reasons and tell you what to do instead. And Zuko saves a bunch of non-bender lives that day, so they begin to trust him more and more.

Of course this turns into yet another conflict with Katara once she and Aang are brought in on the fact that Sokka and his movement are working with the literal heir of the Fire Nation’s dictatorship. Aang is totally fine with it, and Toph (still a bender-supremacist, though humoring her friends in this new cause of theirs) is like, no, this is great, we need as many benders as we can get (Toph would be a sardonic goth if she could see colors well enough to avoid them - instead she’s just a very loyal asshole with dirty feet and a lot of brutal/abstract blackwork tattoos. She’s likes how much they scare people).

Anyway eventually they do all work together to no only unseat Ozai from his imperialist dictatorship but also begin an equalist uprising out in the open. Aang toys with taking everyone’s (and I mean everyone in the whole world’s) bending away but realizes the whole problem is benders having the power to make decisions for other people, so instead he throws himself behind the equalist cause (literally behind the leaders of the equalist cause) and says he’ll support their mechanization and their right to protect themselves (and agitate for laws wherever they live that support justice and protection for non-benders) with all the powers at his disposal. In the end they build republic city, which is envisioned as a multi-national city with non-bender representation build into its governing structure. Toph doesn’t become a cop. She goes around building literal bridges and tearing pavement out of places that shouldn’t be paved, and has three kids by different unnamed fathers and one of them is a non-bender that gets really into metallurgy but also talks a lot of loving shit to her mom.

Blah blah bah. I have overstayed my welcome in your ask box, but you got me thinking. If only I actually knew how to write!

my dude, you straight up sat down and wrote a whole ass one shot and sent it to me on anon???? you have to be an actual godsend???

nobody ever overstays their welcome in my ask box (if they're nice!), but this is above and beyond, I am blown away by how cool this is????????

I don't even know what to say tbh, and if you ever write this, or want to talk more about it, please feel free to hit me up, in any way, and I'd be stoked to hear more about it!!!

share your fav modern au head canons with me ~

[ofstoriesandstardust]

Champagne Problems-Diego Hargreeves

a/n: WHO’S READY FOR THE ANGST?! here we go lol. i’ve never written a song-inspired fic but here we are. this part 1 of of my 2 valentine’s day fics. the other is a cute luther fic and hopefully I’ll be able to write more umbrella academy so... NO I HAVE NOT FINISHED SEASON 2 DON’T COME FOR ME. i’m also totally willing to write a second part to this, especially after i hurt myself so bad so if it’s something you’re interested in, please let me know. listening to champagne problems during this is probably a good idea. this also exists minorly in my law and order: special victims unit x the umbrella academy universe but it’s really only slight mentions of ADA work, so no real connection. 

masterlist | prompt list

warnings: ANGST, Hazel, Agnes, and Eudora live and Ben comes back to life because I said so, post-Texas apocalypse but my own storyline because I haven’t finished season 2 yet, my own thoughts and feeling in the form of the main character, Ben’s secretly a history nerd, Tumblr fucked with my spacing and I’m salty

word count: 3,064 (including song lyrics)

You booked the night train for a reason

So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers

You're not sure which is worse

-

You always opted to take the cases that kept you up the latest at night, working the hardest to get victims justice. You refused to sleep at night until you knew you’d be able to put a killer or rapist away the next day. Which, in turn, meant that there’d often be nights a detective would call in need of a warrant, already knowing you’d still be awake. However, there would be nights, weeks, even, where it was a small case or no cases at all. Those were the days you’d busy yourself in the office until you had no other reason to be there, finding the later you took the subway home, the fewer people there would be. Usually, the quiet of the night calmed you and gave you time to reflect. Sometimes though, your mind would wander to him.

-

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing

Champagne problems

-

Diego had taken you on a drive, bringing you to the city of Manhattan. You always spoke of your love of the city, missing your time spent there while in law school. The two of you had gone for a walk and picnic through Central Park and as the sun was beginning to set, leaving the New York sky a dusty pink, he grabbed your hand as you talked about your favorite memory at the Chinese place just down the road. You paused, looking up at him, seeing the love for swimming within his features. After that night, you had grown to hate the sight of Central Park and avoided it by all means necessary. Your team had never been able to figure out why.

-

Your mom's ring in your pocket

My picture in your wallet

-

Although never actually married to Reginald, and despite the fact that she was an AI, Grace had a wedding band she kept tucked away. When Diego had introduced you to Grace, he knew that you would be the one he’d marry. You were so kind to the AI, not batting an eyelash at her charging port or her sometimes distant nature. She was Diego’s mom by all accounts, and he’d be damned if he was going to live the rest of his life with a girl who didn’t respect his mother. Despite Diego’s fear, you and the AI got on splendidly and at the end of the night, when you were talking to Pogo, Grace brought the boy upstairs and slipped him the small band. She smiled at him and Diego had to restrain himself from crushing the sweet women in a hug. “Just in case.” she had said.

-

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

Champagne problems

-

Diego had tried from the very beginning to be honest with you that he came with a lot of issues. Building trust had been difficult and a fragile process. You had been patient and kind and understanding and everything he was certain he didn’t deserve. Diego slowly learned to let his walls and heart open to you and by the end of it, Diego believed that you had melted his heart of ice and worked your way into his life and family. Until you turned away, dropping the ice heart, shattering it.

-

You told your family for a reason

You couldn't keep it in

-

When you and Diego had first met, it had been purely by accident. You were just moving into the apartment across the hall from Vanya’s and he had come barreling down the stairs after Five. After knocking you and one too many boxes to the ground, Diego profusely apologized, concerned eyes flitting across you to make sure that you indeed weren’t hurt. He had offered to help you finish moving your belongings, wanting a few more minutes with the pretty girl on the stairs. You agreed and asked if he would be interested in grabbing dinner with you that night since you didn’t know anywhere in town. He agreed and the two of you had always considered that your unofficial first date. As the two of you grew closer and Diego’s family became interested in the mysterious ADA with whom he spent all his time, the more determined Diego became to shelter you from them. His family came with a lot of baggage, a lot of trouble, and you had enough just trying to put the bad guys away. But as he became more certain he wanted you in his life for a long time, the more he knew he wanted to tell his siblings. After the apocalypse, he and his siblings had tried to repair the broken bridges and had been successful for the most part. So, one night, at family dinner, he looked around at his siblings, laughing at some witty comment Five had made, and he blurted it out before he could stop himself. The siblings went quiet, looking over at him. You had just met Grace a few days ago, and he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. “I think I’m going to marry her.”

-

Your sister splashed out on the bottle

Now no one's celebrating

-

Allison had been the most excited, wanting to plan an elaborate engagement scheme, wanted to help him pick out the ring. He let her too, unsure of really what to do, and was happy to see her so excited about something. She had convinced Diego to introduce you to her and Vanya, wanting to get to know you, to accurately help Diego (and of course to get to know her future sister-in-law, with whom she was determined to be best friends). As the date that they had settled on drew nearer, she bought an expensive bottle of champagne, stating that only the finest would do for her brother’s engagement. Diego rolled his eyes, but deep down he appreciated that she cared about him this much to help him. When Diego returned to the Academy that night, unannounced and much later than originally intended, Allison immediately knew something was wrong. The siblings looked around at each other, in shock and disbelief. No one had really thought you’d say no.

-

Dom Pérignon, you brought it

No crowd of friends applauded

-

You weren’t sure why Diego brought the bottle of champagne with him, and he wasn’t sure either, both knowing you didn’t drink. As you stared at him, and he stared at you, hurt flickering across the other’s face, all Diego could focus on was the fact that he brought that stupid bottle of champagne. Why had he listened to Allison, or Vanya, or any of the Hargreeves for that matter? Diego was not meant to get a happy ending, he was sure of it. And he had gone and tempted fate and had gotten the heart-breaking answer he knew all along.

-

Your hometown skeptics called it

Champagne problems

-

The Hargreeves had taken Diego out to Griddy’s that night, not sure what else to do with him. Hazel and Agnes looked at him, pity in their eyes. The police chief of the town was there, the one who had despised Diego entirely and was entirely infuriated when he had found out his favorite ADA was “messing around” with the disgraced ex-police officer-turned-vigilante. He looked at the pity party that seemed to be happening in honor of Diego and laughed. “She always was too good for you. Glad she finally realized it.”

-

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

And I couldn't give a reason

-

Diego had a speech, he had. He’d prepared it with Grace and Allison and had practiced it a million times over, to make sure he wouldn’t stutter. Klaus and Ben had listened patiently, giving him pointers and Vanya had even helped him rewrite it when he thought it wasn’t conveying what he wanted to say. And yet, as he looked at you, he couldn’t think of a single word of it. He was nervous, sure, but he was so consumed by the love he felt for you, that he just blurted out, “Wanna get married?”. He offered wondered if he had given you a speech, told you how much he loved you, why he loved you, if you’d still be with him.  

-

Champagne problems

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

November flush and your flannel cure

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

-

Diego had been so nervous bringing you to the Academy to meet his siblings. He wasn’t sure how’d you react to the dysfunction of his family and he was terrified in anticipation of what the siblings might say or do that would scare you off. Luckily, you and Klaus had immediately become attached at the hip and you were already familiar with Vanya. Luthor and Five had been cold at first, waiting to see if they were up to their standards and if you had ulterior motives with Diego. You, of course, passed with flying colors and by the end of the night, you had them laughing and sharing embarrassing stories of Diego. Allison was enthused and happy to welcome you to the family. Ben had engaged you in a deep conversation about the legacy of ancient civilizations long after anyone else cared to listen or contribute. Still, Diego had been nervous it was all a front as to not have the dinner be awkward and uncomfortable. As he drove back to your (unofficially shared) apartment, he had joked that his house was a madhouse. You had seen right through him, knowing he was trying to apologize for the chaos that is his family and that is, well, Klaus. You had laughed and told him that if you could survive in your madhouse of a family, you could survive in his too.

-

How evergreen, our group of friends

Don't think we'll say that word again

-

As Diego looked back on your relationship, he looked for signs that you were unhappy, or wanting to leave. He was unable to come up with any, with the exception of one. You and Diego never fought. It couldn’t have been healthy but there was… never anything to fight about. You were both okay with the other’s line of work, and while not perfect, Diego was learning to be open and honest with you about what he needed from the relationship and you had always been so receptive to that. Ben had once joked that he hadn’t seen plants so evergreen as your relationship. You had laughed and Diego smiled, happy he had someone that was so easy to be with after all the hardship he’d experienced in his life. Now all Diego could do was look back on that memory with the bitter taste of regret.

-

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls

That we once walked through

-

Christmas had been your favorite holiday ever since you were a child. As you had gotten older, the excitement faded, but the cheer and happiness that came from watching old Christmas films and dancing to songs in your kitchen as you baked cookies found its way into your heart without fail every year. So, when the first Christmas with Diego came around, you had cautiously asked him if he’d like to celebrate it with you. Diego tried not to speak too much on Reginald, and from what you knew about the man, Christmas didn’t seem like something that was being celebrated at the Umbrella Academy. Diego had shrugged, saying he didn’t really know what Christmas was about to know if he’d enjoy celebrating it or not. Thus, you had taken Diego to look at lights and watched all your favorite Christmas movies as a child and listened to songs while baking family recipes and he had even helped you decorate the apartment. By the time Christmas rolled around, Diego had started to understand why you cherished the holiday so much. But waking up the morning of Christmas to gifts you had picked out for him, one making up for every year he lost out on what Christmas was supposed to be like, he felt his heart growing three sizes more, like the Grinch from the night before. Diego had never felt a love as pure when he looked at you.

The next year had been no different, just on a larger scale as the whole Hargreeves clan joined in this time. That year, Christmas morning found the Hargreeves boys whisper-yelling at Diego about how he had found the perfect woman as they woke to an abundant amount of gifts under the tree. You dragged Vanya and Allison down the stairs, insisting the family had to open presents together. Klaus had insisted he act as Santa, stating the real Santa should get to sit with her boyfriend. You hadn’t protested, seeing how much a kick he got out of the hat and curled up into Diego as he sat with his back against the arm of the couch. Diego ran his fingers through your hair, and you laid your head against his chest. Luther, wide-eyed, asked you how you were able to pay for all of it. You had shrugged and stated that being an ADA paid you a much larger salary than you knew what to do with and moving out of Manhattan meant a lot less on rent. When Vanya asked why you’d bother spending all that money on them, your response had ensured to Diego that he’d found the right one. “Well, you guys are like family to me. And you never got the Christmases I grew up with and it’s all about making other people happy. I wanted to give you back the Christmas you never had.”

As he looked around at the decorated Academy this year, Klaus and Ben insisting on continuing the tradition you left behind, Diego just felt an overwhelming sense of hatred of the colors and lights. All just painful reminders of what he lost. Of the girl who left.

-

One for the money, two for the show

I never was ready, so I watch you go

Sometimes you just don't know the answer

'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

-

Luther was the only one who could never quite believe you were with Diego totally and completely. Maybe the misgivings came from his strained relationship with the second Hargreeves boy but he always believed you were in it for one of two reasons. Either the money that came with Hargreeves fortune or the fame that came with the Hargreeves name. Of course, Luther wasn’t you, and would never understand the real reason you had said…

“No.” Diego looked at you, hand on his pocket, ready to give you Grace’s ring, unsure if his fear was playing tricks with his head. You shook your head, “No, Diego. I’m sorry.” When those words had left Diego’s mouth, your heart had stopped. You loved Diego, more than anything you had ever known, but the untold horrors of your life before Diego came rushing to the surface and began to choke you. How could you marry Diego when you couldn’t disclose the worst moments of your life to him for fear of being a burden on the already broken boy? You realized at that moment, you could be everything Diego needed, but you would never allow Diego to be everything you needed, setting your relationship hurtling for sure-fire failure. You gasped, the tears threatening to render you breathless. “Diego, I-” And in a moment of pure, blind panic, you grabbed your things and ran, leaving the boy devastated behind you.

-

"She would've made such a lovely bride

What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said

-

A few weeks after that night, Diego found himself alone at the Academy with Five. The two of them were sitting at the bar, not saying much. Finally, Five put his drink down on the table and looked at Diego. “I am really sorry about her, Diego.” Diego looked up at Five. “It’s a shame she’s got too many issues up here,” he said, tapping his head, “to give you what you wanted. She was one-of-a-kind.”

“What are you talking about Five?” Diego questioned, mildly annoyed Five brought you up.

“Did she give you a reason why, Diego?” Number 2 shook his head. “She always seemed to have her own issues, her own baggage, she was never willing to discuss. Maybe her issues with marriage was one of them.”

“That’s ridiculous Five, she would’ve told me.” Diego said, taking a sip of his drink. But as he thought about it, the more he wondered if Five was right. You had told him about your less-than-ideal relationship with your family and disclosed the fact that you didn’t drink due to a genetic predisposition of being an alcoholic, but he had always sensed there was something more you wouldn’t share.

-

But you'll find the real thing instead

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

And hold your hand while dancing

-

One night, he ran into Eudora at Griddy’s making a midnight waffle run for the family. She told him she had heard about the failed proposal and that if he ever wanted or needed to talk, she’d be there. He called her a few days later, and the two of them met up at a bar for a few drinks. He told her about you and that night, and as Diego talked about it, he realized that pain subsided. The outings to the bar became weekly occurrences and he found himself enjoying the company and comfort Eudora offered. And as Eudora found her way back into his life, as time went on, Diego realized he thought of you less and less.

-

Never leave you standing

Crestfallen on the landing

With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

Her picture in your wallet

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #28- I Sure Hope Y’all Like Megatron

“Dark Cybertron” is finally over! Woohoo!

Who’s ready for a return to hijinks and mild peril?

I know this guy is!

Hold on a second-

We start our foray into Season 2 of MTMTE with a little meta-humor-

-and then it’s right into the swing of things, as Brainstorm uses the thin, fragile wine glass of faction-based morality to hold his personal need to make instruments of violence. Nautica disapproves, but then why wouldn’t she? She’s not been steeped in the militant ideologies of the Autobots for millions of years.

It’s six months after the convoluted events of “Dark Cybertron”, and our beloved ship, the Lost Light, is back on track for the Knight Quest. Nautica’s joined the crew, which is neat, but there are far more interesting things going on.

Like Rung actually doing his fucking job for once.

Wow, look at that little creamsicle man go.

It would seem that in the last half-year (by Earth standards) Megatron’s somehow gotten himself into the esteemed position of Captain of the Lost Light. This likely means that Rodimus has been defeated in battle, or perhaps fucked off on yet another space yacht to run away from his responsibilities. I suppose the narrative will have to fill us in on just what exactly happened.

Or, at least, I hope it does. Wouldn’t be a terribly good story if I had to guess on how exactly this dude’s in charge of a whole-ass Autobot crew.

Yes, yes, I know he switched sides, but goddammit, it takes a little more than saying sorry and changing your wardrobe to excuse the murder of half of NYC.

I mean, we can do both. Both is an option. I’ll break out The Communist Manifesto right now, let’s fuckin’ gooooooooo-

Six months prior to Megatron’s therapy appointment, Rodimus is ready to high-tail it off of Cybertron yet again. This is because, as established in previous posts, Cybertron kinda sucks butt. He bursts into the meeting Optimus Prime called- even though he’s really not leader of anything anymore, Starscream is- bids everyone farewell, and is about to run back out of the room when he’s stopped.

Turns out that the populace of Cybertron want Megatron to stand trial. That makes sense, given what all he’s done. Of course, the Autobot pals we’ve got in the room want to skip due process and go straight to the part where Megatron pays through the nose for the last four million years.

Which doesn’t feel terribly heroic or good guy-ish, but I think by this point you’ve probably caught on to the fact that everyone in IDW Transformers is morally gray at BEST.

Because Megatron’s had a rough time the last few years, in relation to his bodily integrity, spark extraction- that thing that High Command lied about in relation to Overlord- isn’t an option. It would just kill him dead.

Uh, excuse me? Optimus Prime, sir? Monsieur Premier?

Guess Optimus hasn’t been keeping up with exRiD.

Anyway, yeah, since Tyrest fucked off in “The Sound of Breaking Glass” and also tried to commit a genocide, we’re gonna need someone to cast judgement.

Course, a military trial isn’t exactly ideal, but as long as it’s open to the public, it should be fine.

Probably.

Anyway, Prowl’s also going to help. Ultra Magnus has been assigned the task of representing Megatron in court, a job which he’s positively delighted to have, if his face is any indication.

The gang breaks for lunch, and Rodimus and Optimus touch base on how the Knight Quest is going.

Because Rodimus’ half of the Matrix had the map for finding the Knights of Cybertron in it, they’re gonna have to go with Plan B.

Oh fuck yes, I love Plan B!

Unfortunately, finding the ideal romantic partner for all Cybertronians is going to have to wait until after the trial, because Optimus really wants Rodimus here for this. Though perhaps there’s a way to make things move a little faster…

Back in the present, Megatron’s had just about enough of Rung being a psychiatry joke, and is about to walk out of his appointment. Ravage is here, which is neat. Rung asks Megatron about the three most important people in his life, and how he met them. One of these people is, funnily enough, Rung.

Rung, if you’ll recall, was thrown into Megatron and Impactor’s table at Maccadams waaaaaay back in The Transformers #22, the first issue of the IDW run that Roberts wrote solo. It would seem that getting arrested and subjected to police brutality ruined his once-idealistic worldview. This is just a lightning-round recap of the events of the “Chaos Theory” storyline.

Being reminded of how hard he got dunked on makes Rung break out his copy of Megatron’s autobiography, Towards Peace. Of course, Megatron has to be “that guy”, and makes it out to be far more than it actually is. My dude, you used your writing to tell all your proto-Decepticon buddies to go beat up Whirl in prison. Let’s not make things sound more grandiose than they are.

Anyway, it turns out that Rung is actually just as much a nerd as he looks, as he reveals that he’s in possession of one of the only few copies of the original version of Towards Peace. And then he takes off his glasses and the fans go bonkers, even though he’s just got that Milne Same-Face going on, just like everyone else.

There you are, you animals.

Rung discusses Revisionism, I’m reminded that the first publication of Eugenesis had a dedication to Roberts’ son of all people, and we get the question of who Terminus is to Megatron.

But alas! The X-ray vision’s been turned on, and it’s time to see… nude robots? An in-depth anatomy lesson?

Robots are confusing sometimes. Anyways, major props to Milne for drawing all that detail. Dude does the technical stuff with a ferocity that must be awe-inspiring to behold.

Megatron’s decided that it’s time for lunch, and then he’s going to do captain stuff.

Because he’s captain of the Lost Light.

I’m convinced Rodimus is dead. That’s the only way this is happening.

Six months ago, Swerve was being awful Swerve-like, with his new buddy Crosscut- guess he finally learned the guy’s name- and Riptide, who we’ll get to a little later on. These three wonderful lads are holding a sort of “crew try-outs”, and it looks like the requirements needed for entry on Megatron’s Lost Light are stiff.

Still, maybe our new friend Nautica will make the cut.

Oh, you are simply delightful!

Despite Nautica having interest in nearly every topic in the universe, on top of having impeccable taste in booze, she just misses the cut. It’s at this point that Nightbeat bursts into the room to stop this farce from going any further. The fact that nobody mentioned anything prior to this is surprising, given that portmanteaus don’t really seem the type of thing Ultra Magnus would approve of.

Back six months ago, we see what Optimus Prime’s super great idea was to expedite the judicial process- Chromedome. It’s always Chromedome. He’s gonna do that thing he promised his late husband he’d stop doing. I suppose it’s a good thing- for Rewind, anyway- that Megatron is wholly against the idea of having his memories torn out of his head. Guess we’re gonna have to do the trial the normal, non brain-pokey way.

Optimus leaves the cell, because I suppose he’s remembered that there’s a conflict of interests here, but Rodimus stays behind to let Megatron know he deserves everything that’s coming his way.

Then Megatron breaks out the puzzle-box from Hellraiser.

In the present, Chromedome isn’t so much spiraling in his depression as he is circling the drain. Nightbeat doesn’t give a shit about that though- he’s more concerned with the fact that one of the numbers on the door to Chromedome’s room is missing. But I’m sure it’s fine.

It’s fiiiiiiiiiiine.

While Nightbeat’s busy being insensitive to his fellow man’s distress, Megatron’s arrived to his room to find his door’s been vandalized by a bunch of idiots who must have just discovered what a thesaurus is. Then he gets shot in the fucking hand with an arrow.

As you do.

Whirl’s gotten ahold of a bow, and he fully intends to use it for Megatron-directed violence. And also his fists. His very pointy fists. He punches Megatron through the fucking floor into the fuel furnace, and they fall what’s probably a good 200 feet to the ground below. Whirl yells about evening the score between the two of them, and then knees Megatron in the dick.

Turns out, Megatron remembers Whirl even better than originally thought, having gone so far as to order his forces to not kill Whirl, because, in a way, he was grateful for the lesson he learned back before the war in Rodion.

Oh man, I hope Rung’s somehow listening in on this. Like, eavesdropping is obviously bad medicine, but we’ve already established that he sucks as a professional, and he needs what few advantages he can get.

Whirl, enraged by the implication that he’s been fighting fixed battles for the last four million years, punches Megatron in the gut… and his arm gets swallowed up by an errant portal leftover from all of Shockwave’s tampering. Since you can’t really fight with only one arm, Megatron wanders off to do captainy things.

Walking back the timeline slightly, we revisit Megatron leaving Rung’s office, and the idea of personal revisionism, the conversation becoming parallel with the strange happenings going on within the ship, as Rewind’s final message is altered so as not to end with “I love you” but instead a blood-curdling scream. Chromedome is, understandably, upset by this turn of events.

Over with Whirl, it’s revealed that the little fight we saw was intentionally set up. For what purpose, or by whom, is left a mystery.

Please see a doctor.

One last flashback to the trial, as Prowl lists off everything that’s standing in the way of our Sympathetic Megatron Redemption Arc.

Good fuckin’ luck, James.

Back in the present, Megatron’s slapped a bandaid on the hole in his torso, as he checks to see what’s happening on the bridge. It would appear there’s a coffin floating around in space.

Pretty fucked up.

[sageyrage]

My End and My Beginning

This was written as my first collab piece as well as my first MHA fic! The collab is Afterlife, so please check out other amazing works here: Afterlife Collab Masterlist

I know that many people don’t like when writers put their OCs in because they want to place themselves in the scenario. However there’s a particular flow I wanted to share that required my OC to be part of the story. For this tale, please take note that my OC’s quirk is Hallucination, and I have included descriptors of attacks and weaponry that I have come up with for my OC. However, I intentionally left in “Y/N”, they/them pronouns and other descriptors for readers to add in so as to not completely ruin the story for Kirishima x reader.

***TRIGGER WARNING***

Mentions & Implications: Death

Smoke stung Kirishima’s eyes as he squinted to see where the attackers ran. Explosions, and varying colors of green and yellow electrified the skies as he heard his friends yell out their attacks. He pressed on, focused on finding the enemies that destroyed the city block. Amidst the yells for help and battle cries, he ran until he cornered his prey. Sharp shark-like teeth gleamed in his grin as his bulky shadow covered the wall of the alley. The man before Kirishima showed no fear as he grew, his body quickly covering with coarse, dense fur while a long tail grew. The head of the man transformed into that of a wolf and a loud howl pierced the darkness. The man growled at Kirishima exposing sharp fangs of his own before crouching into a fighting stance, ready to take on the unbreakable hero.

The two hulking men charged at each other and collided in a cacophony of thuds, growls and struggled grunts. Red Riot bulldozed the wolfman against the building, the hardening of his body keeping the snapping jowls of the other at bay. Back and forth, the battle of the braun went, both men clearly exhausted though neither would give up. “Why won’t you quit already?!” Kirishima grunted through his jagged teeth. The two pushed against each other; teeth, spit, sweat and determination fueled the duel until the wolfman jumped back from Kirishima with a yelp. His bloodshot eyes bulged as his paws swiped frantically at his fur. Yelps turned into terrified screams as his quirk dissolved and revealed the flesh of the man. Nails scraped and slashed at his skin, trying to remove whatever illusion he saw on his body. Kirishima turned his head to the darkness of the alley just as a shadow darker than black stepped forward.

A hood was pulled back to reveal a seemingly floating head, E/C eyes smiled at the red-haired hero. “I thought you could use some help, Red Riot. You good?” Kirishima nodded while the panic-stricken werewolf thrashed on the ground in front of them. “He going to be ok?” The vantablack clad figure nodded. “Fur or no fur, he’s really afraid of ticks. Dynamight, Deku, and Chargebolt have the others rounded up. I’m going to do search and rescue. I’ll see you after!” A gloved hand gently cupped the rough edges of Kirishima’s face. A soft ‘I love you’ whispered at him before throwing the hood over their head and boots quickly carried the hero away. Red Riot chuckled before turning to the wailing villain and pulling him to his feet and dragged him to the waiting police cars. Seeing Y/N’s cape fluttering against the dirty yellowed building, he called out. “H/N! BE SAFE!” Y/N turned and lifted the hood of the cape to blow Kirishima a kiss before ducking into the darkened building, with only the echo of thumping boots along the floor to indicate they were there at all.

Inside the ruins was an eerie stillness. Removing the hood, Y/N shone the flashlight to watch for obstacles ahead. Faint cries lead Y/N to part of the building that was dangerously crumbling, and their voice reverberating through the exposed beams and concrete. “I’m here! I’m going to get you out, don’t worry! Everything’s going to be okay!” As Y/N sprinted onward, creaking and low rumbling throughout the rubble caused even more destabilization to the wreckage. Still, Y/N continued forward, determined to answer the pained cries of the innocent.

Tremors caused heroes and police to lose their footing and stumble as the section of a building tumbled down nearby. Chatter of the officers and stable survivors shook their heads and lamented their losses. Kirishima jogged up to his friends, patting his best friend on the back. “Great job today guys! Hey, where are Deku and H/N?” Bakugou turned around, his wild scarlet eyed friend glared at him with his lip upturned. “That damn nerd is over there talkin’ to the cops and Y/N went into that….oh shit. They were in the part of that building that collapsed. Fuck!” Kirishima’s face paled at his friend’s realization. Panic set in his eyes when he turned to see a haze of dust slowly rising into the air.

Y/N blinked to see the gray of a swirling fog. The atmosphere, not cold nor hot, but… different somehow, like the pressure had been released. “Hello? Eiji? Guys? Where is everyone? What is that light? Is it the way out?” They walked onward, steps echoing around the dizzying gray fog. The silence was deafening and why couldn’t Y/N remember what was happening before ending up in this place?

The rolling fog thinned, and Y/N found themselves in a familiar kitchen. The sizzling and popping sounds of meat in the skillet. Taking the handle in one hand and a spatula in the other, Y/N flipped the cooking ham. Mumbling voices heard in another direction. The TV was on in the other room. A brief glance showed a news blurb of a villain being taken down by H/N and Red Riot. Pulling a plate from a cabinet, food was plated and placed on the table, Kirishima already sitting and ready to eat. “Hey baby! That smells delicious! Thank you for the food!” He smiled up at his Pro Hero partner as Y/N reached out to cup his cheek only to find the image of home overtaken by the grayscale fog. Confusion on their face as they looked around and continued forward. Maybe that light in the distance was the way out. “I must’ve been hit with someone’s weird quirk. Eiji has to be on the other side of that place. Then we can get this straightened out.”

He took off toward the piles of rubble screaming their name. “H/N! Y/N!” The squad of friends followed, equally worried for the fate of their friend. The reverb of Kirishima’s bellows vibrated the breaking walls and bending beams, sending chunks of concrete tumbling around the large pro hero as he ran into the dark space to search for his love. His friends followed close behind until Dynamight held his arms out. “Get back, it’s collapsing! Riot, get back here! Eijirou!”

Fog wisped away and took Y/N to the one of the training areas at UA. Standing before them stood Kirishima, Hagakure, Midoriya, and Bakugou. Aizawa, Ectoplasm, and Gang Orca stood off to the side and watched the students get into battle stances. “Begin!” shouted Gang Orca, and the populated side of the stage rushed forward toward the single combatant. Y/N’s hood blew back as they cried, “Shrouded Sabers!” Two safely capped swords ejected from the void of their sleeves. Y/N gracefully danced around her classmates, the steel of the blades connecting with Bakugou’s gauntlets while their feet connected with the side of Midoriya’s face. “Warp refraction: Say Cheese!” The light bounced off of Hagakure effectively lighting up the training area. With quick thinking, Y/N pulled the hood over their head while reflecting the light from their sword back to her friend. A yell from Invisible Girl, and Y/N bounded backwards, their eyes peeking from the vantablack hood, and watching her classmates drop to the ground with shouts of panic. “Spiders! Get them off get them off get them off!” Hagakure screeched, while Midoriya cried, “No...no! Why?!” Explosions could be heard behind them, Y/N turned in enough time to reflect the light off of the swords into Bakugou’s eyes, causing him to veer over their head. “Ah, dammit Y/N! I’ll kill you!” Kirishima activated his hardening as a sword came down to connect with his shoulder. A hard grip to either arm and Y/N looked up to see a toothy grin just before being flipped over Kirishima’s head and thrown like a ragdoll onto the ground. Unable to sit up, the dust cleared to see the unbreakable hero straddling them and smiling. “Gotcha!” Y/N raised their hands up to hold Kirishima’s face when the scene faded into darkness.

“Y/N? Where are you?” Kirishima stumbled over debris, tripping over exposed pipes, ignoring the falling concrete from the shaking building. He ran the flashlight over the dark area, the light being enveloped into a void that caused him to gasp and run forward. “Y/N! I’m here baby. I’m here.” He removed the hood to see a mass of H/C hair sticky with sweat and blood covering eyes that were closed and holding a tranquil look of sleep. He cupped their warm face, tears streaming down his dirtied cheeks. He barely heard the voices of his friends when another assault of stone came crashing down.

Gray fog eventually gave way to gray walls of a hospital. Walking along the corridors, Y/N weaved around people, careful not to touch anyone. Hurried nurses heading to check on the multitudes of patients, and doctors on their way to various floors ready to save lives. Y/N wandered floor by floor, greeting and speaking to some they knew. Upon entering one floor, the void hero saw the backs of their friends’ heads before turning eyes to the door they waited near. Reading the red haired hero’s name, Y/N burst into the room, only to find Kirishima not in the bed. Taken aback and exiting the room, Y/N snuck from the prying eyes of their friends to seek out their love, finally finding him staring out a nearby window, drink in hand.

“Hey tall, red, and handsome.” Kirishima swiveled at the sound of a familiar voice, his face immediately lighting up the rest of the hall. He scooped up his partner and spun them into a tight hug, splattering his drink all over the floor. “Apparently you’re happy to see me!”

“Of course I’m happy to see my best babe! Don’t worry, I haven’t been waiting here for long. Just had a few bumps and scratches. They wanted to keep me for observation but I’m fine. Hey… you wanna sneak out of here? No one knows where I am!” A happy Kirishima beamed as he took another long drink from the can he held. Y/N held up a hand to cup his cheek and smiled at the contact. Bringing his face down for a kiss, Y/N shed a tear of joy, excited to be reunited once again.

The unbreakable hero held out his arm, delighted that Y/N threaded their small arm through his. Y/N laughed and nodded. “Let’s go home, big red. I’ll make dinner tonight.” Neither of them heard the panicked voices of their friends around the corner as nurses ran into Kirishima’s room with a crash cart.

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Thin Ice Pt 3 || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: The decathlon team gets snowed in and room 401 and 412 decide to play truth or dare. 

Word Count: 4.3k

Author’s note: Wowie this took a long time to write but I’m glad I finally finished it!! Hope everyone is safe and remember, if you need toilet paper, just use the shower to wipe your ass!

Warning: Swearing, teen drinking, mentions of sex, forced kiss kinda 

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || to be continued 

Cindy rummaged through her luggage as you mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, spamming through Flash’s insta-stories of the day. MJ laid down right beside you on the hotel bed, making a quick joke about how he probably buys his followers. 

You had all just eaten dinner and the chaperones had made their last rounds visiting rooms when the news of an incoming blizzard was heading straight towards the resort. It wasn’t meant to cause any damage but your whole trip itinerary would have to be pushed back a day or two depending on when the blizzard would stop.  

You were slightly glad that this storm had decided to roll through because that meant that when it cleared up, there would be hardly anyone on the slopes so you could snowboard without the fear of running into a child on skis. 

“ Found it! Who wants to go first?” Cindy asked as she pulled out her bag that was filled with various facemasks. 

You and MJ both looked up for a second before turning back to your phone screen unphased. 

“ I’ll pass. Last night you made me try it and I couldn’t wash off the pink tint. I looked like a freaking pokemon,” You shivered as MJ laughed beside you. 

Cindy got up from her spot on the floor and plopped down beside you, grabbing the phone away from your hands. 

You protested as she held the phone above her head, catching a glimpse of your case,” Seriously? A spiderman phone case? Are you and Flash a part of some creepy fangirl club?” 

MJ watched as you leaped up and snatched your phone from Cindy quickly, immediately turning it off in the process. You looked at the nightstand beside you as you laid back onto the bed, pointing to her phone that was charging. 

“ Oh so you rather me have a hello kitty one?” You teased as you lightly pushed Cindy away with your foot,” what are you twelve?” 

Cindy wasted no time and grabbed your foot and pulled you off the bed, causing you to let out a yelp. You landed on your butt as MJ peeked over the bed to make sure you were okay. Once she saw that you were fine, she just shook her head at the two of you and laid back on the bed. 

“ Hello Kitty is for all ages thank you very much,” Cindy defended as she sat down on the bed and held up a blue container,” Come on MJ. This is a collagen one from Korea and you know us Asians have great skin.” 

MJ rolled her eyes at Cindy but sat up from her spot,” Fine, as long as Y/N does it too.” 

After a minute of whining, you and MJ both found yourself sitting upright with a scented sheet mask covering your face. You continued to scroll through Instagram when Betty entered the room holding the ice bucket to her chest. 

“ Guess who I just ran into?” Betty asked excitedly as you all perked up,” and might I say, a girl might be catching feelings.”

“ What? Are you talking about Mr. Harrington?” Cindy laughed as Betty put down the ice bucket and stuck her tongue out in disgust. 

“ Gross! I mean I did see Mr. Harrington going to the jacuzzi but I’m talking about Ned! Since the chaperones already checked the rooms for lights out, he’s thinking we can all hang out in our room!” 

“ Who’s we?” MJ asked as Betty started to clean up her clothes from off the floor. 

“ Everyone in his room so Flash, Brad, Peter, and obviously Ned. What else are we gonna do all night?” Betty asked as you pointed to your face. 

“ Um hello? Facemasks and talking shit all night sounds like the perfect plan to me,” You shrugged as you turned on your phone and looked through your messages,” plus what if we get in trouble? You know Mr. Harrington will have an aneurysm if he finds four boys and four girls in one room.”  

You were already in a weird spot with Brad since this afternoon and you knew that he was the type to hold grudges. You couldn’t imagine being in a room with him and all his attitude but at the same time, you wanted to hang out with Peter. 

Betty zipped up her luggage and put it in the corner next to the other mini-fridge,” Y/N, I know you didn’t go but we almost died on our last two trips. Considering all that happened, I think us watching a movie and playing charades with a bunch of science nerds will be harmless.” 

Sometimes you envied how everyone seemed to bond over the last two trips for the decathlon team but then you remembered the falling elevator story at the Washington Monument and the droid attack at the Tower Bridge in London. While no one died, you were glad you weren’t apart of that “bonding experience” and you knew if you wanted to bond with people, you would stick to just trust falls exercises. 

“ In that case, I call dibs on Flash!” Cindy shouted as she raised her hand promptly, earning a confused look from everyone in the room,” What? Have you seen his house? Securing Flash means securing his bank account and I’m trying to financially invest in my future.” 

“ Then I call Brad!” Betty raised her hand but lowered it when she made eye contact with you,” wait nevermind. I forgot about how close you and Brad are.” 

“ First off, it’s 2020, we’re not claiming anyone,” you said as Betty rolled her eyes,” secondly, you can have him. I’m not interested in him or any guy right now.

It was half true. You couldn’t care less about Brad going out with someone, even if it was one of your best friends and the idea of you and Brad together made you feel so uncomfortable. 

You didn’t really have a crush on anyone but there was something about Peter that made you drawn to him. You didn’t know if that meant you had a crush or not but when the idea of him coming into your room and seeing you in a face mask in your pajamas made you feel embarrassed.  

Before Betty could confront you with your lie,  you all turned your heads when you heard a knock at the door. 

Your heart stopped and now you weren’t sure if you were more nervous to see Peter or Brad. 

Betty calmly made her way over to the door even though you knew she was a nervous wreck on the inside. Once you heard the boys start to come in, you took off your facemask and rubbed in whatever moisturizing element it had left. 

MJ had done the same but instead of throwing hers away, she made it into a soggy ball and threw it at Flash, who shrieked in disgust. 

“ Did we miss the sexy pillow fight?” Brad asked as he smiled at you, almost like he hadn’t gotten mad earlier. 

You decided to let whatever happened this morning slide but once you caught eyes with Peter, you felt anxious. 

“ Hey, we’re twinning!” You said as you pointed to your Harry Potter pajama shorts and Peter’s sweatpants to try and calm your nerves,” I never pegged you as a Gryfindor Pete.”

Peter looked down at his pants and chuckled lightly,” I never thought I was either.”

 He wasn’t going to lie, he wore those on purpose cause MJ had texted him that you had a similar pair in your luggage and he liked the idea of you two matching. 

“ Is that alcohol? How did you sneak that onto the trip?” Cindy asked as she grabbed the bottle from Flash’s hands,” We could get in so much trouble.”

“ Only if we get caught,” Flash said as he opened up his backpack and brought out plastic cups. 

He passed one around to Ned and Betty but when he came to Peter, he just stopped and scoffed,” Are you sure you can handle your liquor? The girls probably have some apple juice in the fridge for you to drink.”

Truth be told, Peter couldn’t handle his liquor at all but that was before he had powers. Now, he could forever say goodbye to hangovers and embarrassing drunk encounters. 

It wasn’t like he was a big drinker pre or even post-spider bite but his body operated differently than a regular teenager so instead of passing out after two shots of Remy Martin, he could easily call himself a heavyweight. 

“ I think I’ll be okay,” Peter said plainly as he practically ripped the stack of plastic cups out of Flash’s hand causing Flash to flinch. 

Peter passed one to you as you hesitantly took it from his hands. You were second-guessing everything and you weren’t sure if it was the paranoia of getting caught or the mix of alcohol amongst the group. 

Brad watched you from his seat on the ground and shook his head, letting out a tsk from his lips,” You’re not fooling anyone Y/N, you don’t drink.” 

The hell was that supposed to mean? 

Brad knew you all too well, you almost made it through high school without drinking (with the exception of your aunt’s wedding where they served champagne) and you didn’t want to ruin your streak now. 

At the same time, peer pressure was real and while no one was asking you to drink, you still felt like you almost had to. 

You shrugged and handed out your cup to Cindy so she could pour some of the Smirnoff into it,” There’s a first time for everything I guess.” 

Everyone took a seat on the ground in a circle, with Peter on your left and MJ on your right. Brad and Betty both made a toast and before you knew it, you took a sharp sip of your drink and coughed after you swallowed it. 

“ Yeah, okay that freaking sucks,” You cringed as you put your cup down beside you.

You felt better knowing that Flash and Betty both had the same reaction but you were a bit surprised how easily Peter took down the shot. Peter noticed you from the corner of his eye and pretended to shudder, even though it almost tasted like water to him.

After about a half an hour of mingling and drinking amongst yourselves, you could already feel the alcohol running through your system. You didn’t feel nauseous but if someone had asked you to spin around in a circle, it wouldn’t end pretty. 

You watched from your spot on the office chair as Brad made his way over to you, smiling wide. 

Here he goes, you thought as he sat down on the desk and looked down at you. 

“Y/N, you look mad.”

“ I’m chill but clearly something upset you this morning,” You said as Brad shrugged plainly and took another sip,” what’s been up with you? You’ve been dodging me all day.” 

From the outside, Brad looked fine like any other tipsy teenager but you knew better. There was something behind his eyes and you could literally see the gears spinning in his mind. 

“ I can’t be protective of you?” He asked as you responded with a confused mm as you took another small sip of your drink,” obviously I’m talking about you know who.”

You watched Brad’s gaze fall over to Peter, who was sitting on the bed beside MJ and Cindy deep in a conversation. You rolled your eyes and you gave Brad an unconvinced look. 

You were many things but being someone who needs protection was definitely not one of them. You knew Brad long enough to know that he had never cared about any guy being around you but for some reason, he was so threatened by Peter. 

You knew if you said it out loud, Brad would just get madder like earlier but deep down, you knew he was jealous. What made you even more upset was that this jealousy practically came out of nowhere and you and Peter only started to hang out just this morning. 

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or your pure frustration alone but once you opened your mouth, any chance of having a PC filter was gone,“ You don’t have to worry about Peter, he’s a good guy. I like him so do me a favor and stay in your lane.”

Before Brad even had the chance to reply, Flash grabbed the bottle off the dresser and sat down in the center of the hotel floor. 

“ Lets play something cause I’m bored as hell. How about a friendly game of spin the bottle?” Flash suggested as everyone was adamant on playing something else,” you guys are so lame, would you rather play truth or dare?” 

MJ poured herself another small amount and handed the bottle to Ned, who immediately passed the bottle away from him. 

“ That’s so cliche,” MJ groaned as she looked down at her cup before taking it all down,” but I’m in. If you don’t want to answer or do the dare, you gotta take a shot no matter what.”

You shifted in your seat and mentally cursed. You hated truth or dare and frankly, it was the dumbest game to suggest especially since you knew that most of the group wouldn’t be down to do a dare that was too risky. 

On the other hand, you were the type to always pick truth because you rather let people know your deep dark secrets than lick a toilet seat. 

After a few rounds of Flash running through the hallway in just his underwear and of MJ switching clothes with Brad, it was Betty’s turn to pick who was next. 

“ Okay, my turn... Ned,” Betty said, catching Ned off guard,” Truth or dare?”

Ned looked around and shrugged, looking visibly uncomfortable,” Truth I guess.”

“ Do you want to get back together with me?” 

You were the only one to gasp and you covered your mouth in shock when you realized no one else had the same reaction,” Sorry I- you guys dated? Since when?” 

“ Oh right I forgot to tell you, we were a couple during the Europe trip but it ended when the trip did. You really missed a lot,” Betty explained as she moved her attention back to Ned, waiting for a response. 

Ned looked at Peter who only nudged him back in response which made the situation even more awkward. Instead of answering the question, Ned took down his shot like a champ and shook his head,” I’m not falling for that one.” 

The room busted out in ooos as Betty’s face grew red. She quickly composed herself and poured herself another drink,” Your turn then.” 

Ned looked at Peter as if he was asking for permission but Peter shook his head. Peter knew Ned wanted to be a good wingman but Ned tended to take the title too seriously and go overboard. 

“ Okay then I’ll pick Peter,” Ned said as Peter’s hands started to feel even more sweaty than before,” Truth or Dare.”

If it was anyone else asking Peter, he could easily choose Truth and move on with the game but because Ned was in control and knew too much about his crush on you, he was worried that something would slip. 

“ D-Dare,” Peter stuttered as he cleared his throat, his eyes locked on Ned as if he was pleading to have a normal dare that didn’t involve you. 

Ned smiled and looked over in your direction as his plan started to come together. 

“ I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.”

The room grew silent for only a moment before it bursted out in mixed conversations. All eyes were on Peter and he could feel how hot his ears were burning from embarrassment. 

Peter tried to play it off and lifted his cup in the air,” I’m definitely not doing that.” 

Cindy groaned from her seat and sat up on her knees,” Come on Peter, it’s just a kiss. It’s not like it’s your virginity or anything.”

“Cindy!” Betty smacked Cindy’s thigh sharply as if she was a child acting up in a grocery store. 

“ Ow! I didn’t even say anything bad,” Cindy rubbed her thigh but glanced over at Peter,” I’m sorry but even if you are a virgin, that’s not a bad thing!” 

You and Betty both gave Cindy a ‘Stop Talking’ look and you turned to Peter, his face flushed by now. 

“ If he doesn’t want to do it, he shouldn’t be forced to,” Flash said as he leaned over and poured a shot out for Peter,” but just for the record, he totally would’ve kissed Y/N.”

“ N-No I wouldn’t!” Peter stammered, feeling completely mortified. 

“ You hear that Y/N,” Brad smirked as he looked between you and Peter,” Peter doesn’t think you’re pretty. I on the other hand-”

“ That’s not true!” Peter shouted over Brad as he turned to you sympathetically,” Y/N I-I do think you’re pretty!” 

“ Um, thanks Peter, you too,” you said simply as you tried to catch up to the conversation. 

If you could be honest, you felt like you were on a five-second lag thanks to how much you had been drinking and you weren’t processing what everyone was saying as well as you should’ve. You weren’t really paying any attention to the conversation until you heard the word virginity and your name. What you did notice the whole night was Brad’s small attempts to get you a bit annoyed while flirting at the same time.

Since you two had been friends for so long, you knew how he operated and whenever Brad liked someone, he would always make little jabs as if girls fell for that kind of stuff. You needed to get him alone to set him straight because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship over his small crush on you. 

You shook your head at Brad as he watched you pour yourself another shot that was almost triple of what you took earlier. 

“ What were you saying Brad? About Y/N?” Cindy asked as you looked over to Brad who only shrugged. 

“ Nothing I was just going to ask Y/N truth or dare,” Brad said as Ned shook his head. 

“ No it’s Peter’s turn, those are the rules remember?” Ned insisted as he gave Peter a quick look. 

Peter had nothing against Brad but Peter wasn’t stupid or blind either. He clearly had feelings and wasn’t going to waste any time going in for the kill. If it was any other guy then maybe Peter had a chance but Brad Davis? Not only did Brad have an advantage since you two were friends for so long but Brad was practically a clone of you. 

You both had similar interests, identical backstories, and the same sense of humor so of course Peter felt threatened. 

What was worse was that Peter could tell that Brad knew about Peter’s feelings for you so now, it was almost a competition for Brad. 

“ Oh come on, he doesn’t mind,” Brad laughed as he looked at Peter and tilted his head to the side,” do you Pete?” 

Peter only nodded as Peter took his shot and crossed his arms over his chest. You weren’t sure why you were feeling particularly bold today but when Brad asked you truth or dare, you chose dare. 

“ I dare you to do seven minutes in heaven with me in the restroom.”

You leaned back onto your hands and tilted your head to the side. If it were any other day, you would’ve passed on the offer but this was just a game to Brad. He knew you would say no and that would prompt Brad to make even more jabs towards you for being a prude. 

“ Okay Davis, I’ll bite,” You grabbed your cup and drank the whole thing before handing it to Peter,” see you guys on the other side.” 

You got up from your seat as Brad followed you closely,” Don’t wait up guys.” 

Peter clenched his jaw as Brad gave a thumbs up to Flash who was whooping in celebration. 

Once the bathroom door had shut, Flash nudged Betty and stuck his tongue out,“ They’re gonna get down and dirty-”

“ Shut the hell up, Flash!” Peter didn’t even realize he had said it out loud until he noticed that everyone was staring at him. 

Peter’s face flushed a deep red and sighed deeply before grabbing his phone and got up from his seat,” It’s late. I’m going to bed.” 

Everyone watched as Peter practically stomped out of the room and was fuming from head to toe. 

Once you were in the bathroom, you sat up on the counter and looked up at Brad, who just locked the door. 

“ I know what you’re doing Brad,” You said as Brad leaned against the counter next to you,” you’ve done this move before on Katelyn Gomez at the homecoming after-party. I’m not stupid.”

Brad smiled innocently as he ran his fingers through his hair,” I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can’t I just have some quiet time with my girl?”

You let out a dry laugh and shook your head, you really couldn’t believe what was happening. You heard the main hotel room door slam shut which made you turn your head to the door. You didn’t hear anything follow up so you turned your attention back to Brad. 

“ That’s my point, I’m not your girl,” You motioned between the two of you with your hand,” this is not a thing and will never be a thing.”

Brad acted shocked and placed a hand over his heart as if he was in pain,” Why do you love breaking my heart?” 

“ You’re my best friend Brad which is why this can never happen. I mean come on, my mom used to bathe us in the same tub when we were younger!” You exclaimed as Brad shooed your hand away. 

“ Okay fine, we have history but there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not asking you to marry me I’m just asking for a chance,” Brad sighed as he moved over and leaned closer to you,” are you really saying that you don’t have feelings for me?”

You looked down at Brad’s hand and back up to his face. Brad looked at you longingly with puppy dog eyes but you were smart and you knew better than to fall for it. 

“ I have feelings for you... but not the kind you have for me. I love you Brad but as a friend. I trust you more than anyone else I know and I like being a part of your life,” You watched as Brad nodded softly,” our friendship is so important to me and I don’t want to ruin it.” 

For the first time ever, it was like you had left Brad speechless. You could tell how hurt he was and it made your heartache. Brad was never someone to take things so seriously, especially if it was with a girl. Brad could be rude at times and a little too sarcastic for your liking but so were you. 

“ I’m sorry,” you said, trying to interrupt the silence between the two of you. 

Brad shook his head and bit his lip, a habit that he had been doing since he was six whenever he was nervous,” You don’t have to apologize. I’ve been a dick to you lately and I’m sorry...Can I ask you for something? It’s okay if you say no.”

You nodded and squeezed Brad’s hand,” Yeah, anything.”

“ I know you want us to be friends and I respect that but...do you think I could kiss you?”

You tensed up as you shifted against the counter,” I don’t know Brad..”

“ I’m not asking to make out, I’m just asking for a quick peck on the cheek,” Brad stammered as you nervously bit the inside of your cheek,” pretty please?” 

You thought things over in your head but all you could think about was Peter. What would he say if he found out? You shook your head and tried to get Peter out of your head, why would Peter care? Better yet, why were you thinking of Peter right now?

“ Okay, but only if it’s a cheek kiss.”

“ Deal...okay can you close your eyes?” Brad asked as you rolled your eyes but did so anyone. 

You sat there with your eyes closed and shook your head,” You’re so weird Davis.”

After a few seconds, you felt Brad move off the counter and scooted between your legs. You felt him place his hands next to your thighs and leaned closer to you,” Ready?”

“ Whatever man just do it. God this is so weird,” you mumbled as you heard Brad count down from 5 to 1. 

When he got to you, you expected to feel his lips press up against yours but when you felt his lips against yours, you opened your eyes in shock and pushed him away with your hands. 

“ What the hell Brad! You said it was a cheek kiss!” You shouted as you wiped your lips with the back of your hand. 

“ I-I’m sorry” Brad backed away from you and rushed for the door handle,” I’m going to go.” 

Brad didn’t even look at you as walked out of the door, leaving you alone in the bathroom. You couldn’t believe your best friend just kissed you and you were somewhat thankful you felt nothing but disgust from it. 

Peter. You rubbed the sides of your temple in frustration as you thought of what would happen if Peter found out. Your heart sunk as you thought of why you didn’t want Peter to know what had happened between you and Brad. 

Damn it, you had a crush on Peter. And you were pretty sure he felt the same way. 

@holland-in-disguise @yeahimcrying @greatpizzascissorstaco @mysticalbanshee @weyheyavengers @infinityflamesworld  @fandom-fangirl22    @peterparkoure @crumpets-are-better-with-jam​

[shirtlesssammy]

2x09: Croatoan

Then:

Sam Winchester, Supernatural’s resident Clyde Bruckman

Now:

Sam has a vision of Dean in a room with a bunch of strangers. One man is tied to a chair and Dean has his gun trained on him. The man pleads that it’s not in him. He begs the doctor to tell Dean that. She can’t tell. Dean has to do his job --and we see him shoot. 

In reality, Dean’s just getting back from a Slim Jim and beer run. 

The brothers head out to the town that Sam saw in his vision. Once there, Sam notices a man that was in his vision. They approach him and pose as Federal Marshals. They ask about the other man in Sam’s vision. Dean sees a tattoo on the man’s arm and appeals to the fact that he was in the Marines. He tells the brothers where Duane lives. 

On their walk to Duane’s, Sam notices the word CROATOAN carved into a telephone pole. 

Then the history nerd Sam decides it’s his right to lecture Dean on not knowing what this word is. Dean was too busy saving the world to pay attention in history class, Sam. Get off your high horse. Also, SAM, they weren’t wiped out “overnight”, and in fact probably just integrated into local native communities. Okay, I’ll get off my own high horse now, lol. 

They decide to contact Bobby or Ellen for help, but their phones don’t get a signal and the conveniently placed pay phone doesn’t work. 

They head to Duane’s house. His brother greets them at the door and tells them he’s on a fishing trip. His dad then shows up at the door and lets them know he doesn't know when Duane will be back. They ask about the mother, but she’s out getting groceries. It’s clear then that the family is lying. 

It turns out, the mom is tied up in the kitchen. 

Sam and Dean bust in just as the son is dripping blood onto the mother. The dad charges them and Dean takes him out. The son busts through the kitchen window and runs away before Sam gets a clear shot. 

They head back to town with the mom and take her to the local clinic. Dean brings in the father, lol. The doctor patches up the mother, Beverly, while she tells her story. “One minute they were my husband and son, and the next they had the devil in them.” 

Dean and Sam wonder if it’s a mass possession. The doctor comes in and wants to know what happened --they just killed her next door neighbor. Since the phones are down, Dean decides to head to the next town for help. 

On the road, he finds a stalled car with a bullet hole in the windshield. The car is abandoned --with an empty baby seat, blood everywhere, and a knife outside the driver’s door. 

At the clinic, the doctor determines that the dead guy was fighting off a viral infection. She also notes a weird red residue like sulfur. 

Dean keeps driving and comes across a roadblock of people with guns. Totally COOL. A man surprised Dean at his door and asks him to step outside. Dean hits the gas pedal in reverse. Guns start firing. Dean drags the dude and does a 180 --getting out of there in time. 

The doctor tells Beverly about the virus and asks if she had contact with their blood. (I mean, just that LITTLE blood ritual they were doing before Sam and Dean popped in.) The doctor asks to take a blood sample. Beverly seems to acquiesce, and then goes full roid rage. 

Sam knocks her out with a gas canister. 

As Dean pulls back into town, the man they talked to earlier jumps out with a gun. Dean and him have a small standoff --each wondering if the other one is “one of ‘em?” The town is going crazy though. Dean suggests heading over the the clinic since there’s no way out of town. The man doesn't believe Dean but then decides to get in the car. Dean drives to the clinic with them both pointing their gun at the other. 

At the clinic, Pam, the nurse, wants to leave to check on her boyfriend. Sam convinces her that it’s safer in the clinic. It’s then that Dean and the Sarge show up. Dean and Sam discuss the virus --demonic virus. Sam read in their dad’s journal that John thought that Croatoan was a name of a demon. They have to warn people. 

They learn that Beverly is infected and, to Doctor Lee’s and Pam’s horror, Dean and the Sarge immediately announce their intention to kill her. But before they go to that drastic step, Sam interrogates Doctor Lee and asks her if she has a cure yet. The doctor gives Sam a PLEASE SHUT UP look because no, she DOESN’T have a cure for a brand new virus that she’s just discovered with her - checks notes - standard wellness clinic equipment. Long story short, the mom dies bloody.

Later, shadowy figures lurk outside the clinic. Inside, the Winchesters merrily prepare for war as Pam gets twitchy and drops infected blood samples. They decide to fight their way out of town, past the blockades. Sam “Don’t Look at my Browser History” Winchester’s eyes light on some chemicals in the office. It’s time to make some bombs.

Suddenly, someone pounds on the clinic door begging for help. It’s Duane, otherwise known as the man from Sam’s vision! He tells them he just got back from the fishing trip from hell, and he’d sure like to know where his parents are. UH....one of them is dead in the closet next to you? The doctor examines him and finds a wound on him. They tie him up while Doctor Lee drops a virus update. It takes three hours for the virus to incubate before sulfur starts cropping up in the bloodstream. She can’t test for the virus until it’s too late...and he goes full rage zombie on everyone.

Sam pulls Dean aside and begs him to wait to kill Duane. Dean’s against this plan, and Sam accuses him of acting out of character. LORD SAM if I had a nickel for every time that happened on this show! Dean immediately takes umbrage with...everything...and flees the conversation.  He also locks Sam in a room so he can pull off his execution uninterrupted. Dean BBY no.

Duane tearfully begs for his life while Dean confronts the monster within himself - and aims the gun.

“I got no choice,” Dean says while Duane weeps, and I weep for different reasons. Dean’s hand shakes. His lip trembles. Dean drops the gun with a curse.

Later, he unwinds while making bombs with Sam. The doctor announces that over four hours have passed, and Duane’s blood is still unsulfured. They decide to untie him. Sam asks why Dean decided to spare his life. Dean deflects because...of course, and Sam heads off for more supplies.

Pam locks Sam in a room with her and almost immediately shrieks and attacks him. She cuts Sam and slices her own palm, pressing into Sam’s wound. Right after that, Dean breaks the door down and shoots her. They wrap their heads around the fact that Pam bled on Sam.

While the extremely harried Doctor examines Sam, the others hold an intense standoff in front of Sam. Dean will kill anyone and everyone to PROTECT his brother, but the others advocate for immediate action. Sam tells Dean to hand a gun over to him and he’ll take himself out! And he doesn’t mean take himself out to a nice dinner and movie! GUH. Winchesters. 

Dean throws his car keys - BABY’S CAR KEYS - to the others and tells them to get the hell out of town. He plans to stay behind and watch over his brother for it is his SOLEMN SWORN DUTY.

Sam begs Dean to hand him a gun and get to safety. And that’s sad, sure. That’s tragic. But when Sam urges Dean to “keep going” Dean looks away. “Who says I want to?” he gets out.  Excuse me, I’m just going to fling myself off a cliff. 

“I’m tired, Sam. I’m tired of this job. This life. This weight on my shoulders.” Dean confesses that it’s not all about their dad’s death either… He was feeling this before their dad died. But JUST BEFORE we get to the core of Dean Winchester, the doctor knocks and tells them to head outside.

The town is utterly silent, everyone gone. The camera super-zooms in on the carved “CROATOAN” on the light pole. Dun dun DUN, etcetera. Why yes, Robert Singer DID direct this episode!

More time passes, and the doctor examines Sam’s blood sample again. His blood is still clean hours later. Sam’s baffled because he for really real knows he got Pam’s blood in his wound. SAM, YER A WIZARD! The doctor looks at the other contaminated samples for comparison and discovers that they’re entirely clean. 

In the morning, the doctor bids everyone farewell. She gives Sam a clean bill of health. Sam is predictably still puppy-dog-eyed baffled over it, but he and Dean head out regardless. Duane and Sarge blow town together. 

For Pretty Car Science:

Later, Duane asks to pull over. “I gotta make a call,” he says before rapidly slicing Sarge’s throat and filling a chalice with blood. He tells the cup that the testing is over. The “Winchester boy is definitely immune, as expected.” His eyes turn demon-black.

Elsewhere, Sam and Dean take in a nature stroll as delicate music plays. 

For Winchesters Enjoying Nature Science:

They moodily swig beer. Sam asks Dean to explain his woeful feelings from earlier. “We oughtta...go to the Grand Canyon,” Dean proposes, COMPLETELY failing to be honest about his feelings. He’d like a break from hunting. When Sam digs further, Dean finally spills. Before their dad died, he told Dean something about Sam. John Winchester, father of the year, told Dean he might have to………..

And we cut to black. I’m sure it was something nice, though, like buy Sam an ice cream cake!

Quotatoan:

That's not school, that's Schoolhouse Rock

Well, you are a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way >.>

You've got a neighbor named Mr. Rogers?

Night of the Living Dead didn't exactly end pretty

We're supposed to struggle with this. That's the whole point

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