my sister (not a swiftie) decided for the first time to listen to a taylor album on release day and unsurprisingly didn't like it 😭😭 and i had to be like no no no you might still be a fan, this just wasn't designed to appeal to the general public, you don't know the lore, please try again
we've entered advanced level taylor swift album
beginner: 1989, fearless, debut, lover
medium difficulty: red, midnights, speak now
advanced: folklore, evermore, TTPD, reputation
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Hemiverbalflux. (Coined 15/7/2024)
Hemiverbalflux is a label I created because I wanted a specific term that describes my experience. It uses the word hemi (meaning half, same as semi & demi) and combines it with verbalflux. It means:
When your verbality fluctuates in intensity but is always, constantly, within the borders of semiverbal and demiverbal
Struggling with speech but the difficulty, length and frequency fluctuate. Sometimes having major difficulty and being unable to form coherent sentences to sometimes being able to speak well; Sometimes being unable to speak without extreme difficulty for weeks, to being able to speak reliably for a few days
Verbal shutdowns fluctuate in frequency, length & intensity. Sometimes being a few times a month, to being a few times a week, to being every day; Sometimes lasting for a few minutes, to lasting a few hours, to lasting days
Fluctuations can be random or can have causes such as stress
Fluctuations can happen often or over long periods of time
Flag based on these
[Image ID: A flag with 9 equal horizontal stripes. The colours are all desaturated and mirrored, they go from dark pink (edges), to pink, to green, to light green, and to light blue (middle). There is also a small white infinity symbol in the middle of the flag. End ID]
Hemiverbal can also be used on its own as a separate term to mean bordering/being somewhere between semiverbal and demiverbal. I may make a post in the future officially coining the term but I don't plan to do that soon. I also didn't make a flag for just hemiverbal as it's honestly just a little bonus from making hemiverbalflux.
Definitions of demiverbal and semiverbal (that I use) to show what hemiverbalflux fluctuates between.
Demiverbal: ⤵️
Can reliably speak most of the day for most days of the week
Verbal shutdowns happen anywhere from a few times a week to a few times a month, possibly for no apparent reason
May experience some level of difficulty with mouth words, anywhere between slight difficulty only a little of the time to half the time
Semiverbal: ⤵️
Only being able to speak in specific circumstances OR showing moderate to extreme difficulty with speaking most/all of the time
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CW: FORCED SUICIDE, drug overdose, mind/body control, major character death. This is the darkest thing I've written thus far, so reader beware.
It was ridiculously easy for Holland to get into Ezekiel’s house. Not that his security was bad; it would have kept any normal person out, and he never forgot to lock his door. But for Holland, it was a simple matter to reach inside with their mind and turn the mechanism as perfectly as if they had the key. They had yet to meet a lock that could so much as challenge them.
They saw themself in with all the ease and confidence of someone letting themself into their own house. They started looking around for Ezekiel, using both their eyes and their telepathic sense.
It was his fault their sibling was dead. They were going to settle the score.
Ezekiel wasn’t in one of the rooms within view of the door they’d just come in, but his car was in the driveway and Holland hadn’t seen any sign of him leaving. Though he was further back in the house, it didn’t take long for them to find him.
They leaned against the doorway of the room he was in, not bothering to conceal their approach. His head snapped up, startled to hear any noise when he’d thought himself alone in the house.
“What?” he said, stunned.
“Hello, Ezekiel,” Holland greeted without a hint of warmth.
Ezekiel looked at them and paled. Holland smiled, but there was no joy in it: only malice.
“You…what are you doing here!?” he asked nervously.
“I’m going to kill you,” they said simply.
A tense beat passed, then Ezekiel broke into a run and tried to bolt past them. Holland caught him with their power before he could even leave the room, sending a silent command to stop that overrode the signal from his own brain. He stood in place, body not even coiled to spring again, his desperation showing only on his face. “Please let me go,” he plead tremblingly.
Holland ignored the request and stepped closer to him.They were tempted to simply make him stop breathing and watch as he writhed and turned blue, unable to resist their influence even as it killed him. But asphyxiation without a discernible cause was too easily tied to a powered murder.
“I don’t want to die,” he sniveled.
“I want you to. You don’t get a say.”
"I'll do anything!"
"You want to know what it would take to earn my forgiveness?"
"Yes! Please! Whatever it takes."
"Get me my sibling back." Their gaze went dark and cold, shutters closing over the hint of teasing lightness in their expression.
"But that's impossible!"
"Hm. Then I guess it's impossible for you to be spared."
“No, please—” he cut off with a flinch as he felt a foreign presence invade his mind. Holland had gotten information without him feeling anything before, so he knew they must want him to know they were in his head. They presumably didn’t want him to know what it was they were doing, though, because he couldn't tell the specifics, just that they were there.
As if he wasn’t already acutely aware of his helplessness.
“I came here for revenge, and I am going to get it. You aren’t going to make it out of this alive.” They spoke with a false casualness that belied the situation. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Don’t kill me, I can’t die yet—”
"Your relations won't even have the closure of hunting a killer,” they went on. “It'll look exactly like a suicide."
The corner of their mouth twitched in a small smile as presumably they found what they were looking for. The sense he had of their presence in his mind faded somewhat.
“Come on.” They headed down the hall, and against his will he trailed after them like a dog called to heel.
They came to a stop standing next to his medicine cabinet. Holland opened it with their mind, and from their expression it was clearly exactly what they expected. They hadn’t had to search, knowing exactly where to find what they were looking for thanks to the information they’d found in Ezekiel’s head.
Holland’s gaze settled on a full bottle of drugs. They telekinetically lifted the bottle from the cabinet, and sent it to Ezekiel, who took it. Or rather, his hand did. Ezekiel himself had no part in the action.
He realized, then, what they intended. "Please, no," he plead shakily.
"There's nothing you can do to change my mind. Keep begging though. I rather like it."
He did beg more, though out of neither compliance nor psychic influence. Out of fear. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to die.
Not that that mattered. He didn’t get a say in his own actions, much less his life.
He shook a few pills out onto his palm. He couldn't even pause there and stare at them to brace himself before Holland made him pop them into his mouth and swallow. Then they repeated the process.
They were forcing him to down the bottle a few pills at a time. He wondered why they didn't just make him pour the whole thing down his throat at once.
You could choke. I don't want this over too fast.
Of course they didn't. And they were still in his head, listening in on all his thoughts. He grimaced as they made him swallow another palmful.
Again and again his hands tossed the unwanted pills down his throat under Holland’s direction. There wasn’t a thing Ezekiel could do.
He polished off the bottle and was forced to just sit there and wait for the drug to take effect. It didn’t take long.
Instead of allowing his mind to get overwhelmed by it, the psychic held his consciousness above the drug, so he was all too aware of his dying moments. As he was kept from the mental effects, he felt the physical effects all too clearly.
It was getting hard to breathe. He panted and still felt short on oxygen. He was sick to his stomach and in pain. Tremors racked through him repeatedly.
Holland sat and watched pleasedly, chin resting on their hands. They looked as satisfied as the cat that caught the mouse.
He felt a tickle on his face and wiped it to find that he was foaming at the mouth. Distantly Ezekiel thought maybe it was good that this would be over soon and not leave him to live with the repercussions. Maybe in a way it was also good that the psychic wanted him to feel the real fear of his death if it kept the overdose from stealing his sanity as well—but that thought was quickly rejected as another bout of pain shot through him.
He convulsed and gurgled and struggled to breathe, and Holland watched as the life left him. They stayed as they were for a few moments as the now-motionless body cooled. His death didn't fill the hole in their heart, but it eased something.
"Well, this was fun," they said to the corpse. They psychokinetically wiped the fingerprints from everything they might have touched and scanned for any hairs or other traces they might have left, then took their leave.
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