#incorrect Lyra

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

[moonchild311]

Average interactions in the Slytherin dorms

Dorcas *opening the common room fridge*: oh for fuck's sake! Barty and Evan!!

Barty and Evan *sitting on the couch with Barty's legs on Evan's lap*: what is it, cassie?

Dorcas *gesturing to the head on one of the shelves* : IS THIS YOUR SEVERED HEAD?

Regulus: Nope, that's mine.

Dorcas *making a face* : well, it's making my eggs smell weird. Put it somewhere else.

Dorcas: also, it's ugly.

Regulus *absentmindedly nodding*: sure, sure.

[lanterns-and-daydreams]

Reporter, to Libby: So, how does it feel to be marrying someone so out of your league?

Libby: Well-

Nash, cutting her off: Feels amazin', darlin', thanks

[mafiasliege]

Lyra: i would like my future partner to be humble, expressive, definitely not a Hawthorne-

Lyra: *sees a blond, arrogant asshole who's a Hawthorne*

Lyra: that one. I want that one.

[astraeajackson]

lyra: hey guys! this is my ex-boyfriend, grayson.

grayson: sweetheart, you've really got to stop introducing me like that.

grayson: i'm her husband.

[goldandglittersblog]

Draco: Good morning, Princess

Lyra: Daddy,if I am the princess, then mommy is the queen.

Hermione: Oh Thank you, darling.

Draco: Then I must be the King. Right ,sweetheart?

Lyra: No Crookshanks is the King.

Lyra: You are the royal servant, Daddy.

[zenless-zone-zero-incorrect]

Astra: Eve’s washing the dishes and i just heard her say “who do you work for? Who’s your contact???” while repeatedly pushing a glass underwater

Astra: at least she’s having fun???

[profoundstarfishmusic]

[po1sonous-l0ve]

Lyra: How much did you spend on this date?

Grayson: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 23 years.

[loosesodamarble]

Cyra: Alright girls, time for our first ever Book Club meeting.

Dawn: Hey so why was *I* invited?

Meabh: Because while you are on the dense side, you are media literate and have a decent reading pace.

Dawn: Aw! Thank you!

Ava: Also your sisters are all either too young or too old to fit in.

Dawn: Fair.

Alice: Do we all have our recommendations ready? Mine is this cross country adventure tale with lots of realistic survival skills depicted!

Cyra: I have a poetry collection that has come from far beyond even Thea, but it’s masterfully translated to the native language here.

Meabh: I’ve got a modern mystery thriller. Weird note: the narrative is very specific about paper types.

Ava: Mine is a graphic novel about vigilantes who fight with advanced technology to keep their magic secret!

Dawn: I brought a book that Father used to read to me. It’s kinda dark with a lot of manipulation and betrayals but good ultimately wins.

Alice: You didn’t read it yourself?

Dawn: Well, I was little at the time and Father probably thought I wouldn’t be able to parse the big words yet. (opens book) Oh! Uh…

Ava: What’s the matter?

Dawn: (closes book) Maybe let’s pass on my recommendation…

Meabh: Dawn…

Dawn: I really don’t think we can read it actually.

Cyra: What do you mean? Did your dad censor some graphic details or something?

Dawn: (hands over book to Cyra)

Other girls: (gather around Cyra as she opens the book)

Alice: Oh gods!

Meabh: (cackles)

Ava: I didn’t expect that…

Cyra: I agree. I don’t believe any of us are adept at reading devilish script…

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Toby: what should I get at iHop

Jeff: sucked dry

Tim: killed

Lyra: pancake combo

Toby: okay

[codchrist]

Rhea: I miss Mommy

Liv: I miss mommy too

Lyra: I miss mommy more

Seth: What about dad?

Rhea: Mommy isn't a pain in the ass and let us have candy before supper

Becky: That's my girls

[spacefinch]

Silver: I met a dumbass today. It was awful.

Lyra: So you looked in the mirror?

Silver: One day you will have to answer for your actions and Arceus may not be so merciful.

[mafiasliege]

Grayson: i would like my future partner to be-

Lyra: asshole!

Grayson: that one. I want that one.

[cr1msonsta1ns]

Toby: "My tummy hurts."

Lyra: "Did you eat something bad again?"

Toby: *Points to ants.*

Lyra: "YoU aTe AnTs AgAiN?! TOBY WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!"

Toby: "...To stop eating ants."

Lyra: "TO STOP EATING BUGS TOBY!"

[riddles-n-games]

"You can slay me all day, any day."

-Grayson Hawthorne to Lyra Kane, The Grandest Game probably

"You wouldn't be able to handle it, blondie."

-Lyra Kane to Grayson Hawthorne, also The Grandest Game probably