#incorrect christopher columbus

[theclassclone]

Topher: I like to use my victims as fertilizer to grow small plants, which I then send to the victim's families as a condolence present. Most people neglect potted plants they receive as gifts, so in a way, it's like they are letting their children die all over again.

[bitchapalooza]

Spain: I can send you the money tomorrow, I just don’t have it today. Sorry.

America: No it’s “Columbus day”, banks are gonna be closed tomorrow.

Veneziano just as the room goes dead silent: Christopher Columbus can suck my hairy cock.

*entire room immediately loses it*

Veneziano: Oh shit did I say that out loud? I’m so sorry…

Romano, wheezing through tears and laughter: I’ve never been more proud of you in my entire life, holy shit.

[akkreti]

Spartacus: Romulus. My eternal nemesis.

Columbus: The hell? I thought I was your nemesis!!

Spartacus: I have a life outside of you, Columbus.

[jo-the-cosmic-being]

I just looked up when was “hell nah” first used and it said some shit like 1500’s so here’s the first thing that came to my mind lol, enjoy!

Columbus: duuude, guess what!

Random person: what?

Columbus: i just discovered a new, cooler way to go to India!

Random person: umm… gimme a map!

*map appears*

Random person: bish, that ain’t India that’s a whole ass new continent!

Columbus: HELL NAHHH

(It’s 2:00 so pls forgive me)

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

Today my coworker and I were asking why Columbus Day was created and I looked it up and this is why "Columbus Day was created by President Harrison in 1892 in response to the anti-Italian motivated lynching of 11 Italian Americans in New Orleans in 1891." So apparently it had nothing to do with Columbus himself but the fact that he was Italian and they were like look an Italian was responsible for "the discovery of America" so stop lynching Italian people. The follow up question we had was then why not make the day Amerigo Vespucci day since he was also Italian and the reason why America is called America and the reason we know America is a separate country and not India. So yeah that's what I learned today on why Columbus Day became a thing.

Edit: Why couldn't the government create a holiday to stop people from lynching African Americans?

[dereks-unrelenting-heart]

SFTH Chaotic Highlights (Lost In Your Eyes)

Commentary of the 3rd longform play, I feel like I said a lot more than I anticipated about this one. So I'm sorry or you're welcome, depending how you see it

A large part of me believes Tom chose this title purely to spite the 'absolute specimen of masculinity' in the audience lmao

We're not watching these in order, but it was while watching this video that my mom asked why 'so many of their plays are about war or being lost at sea'. This was followed by watching The Leftenmost Window so.. her point definitely wasn't disproven

Amanda off to a bold start by immediately slapping her mother in the face

Also istg these guys choose either the most common or most random fucking names, and there's never any in between. Here we've already gotten the perfect examples of 'Amanda' and 'Tarquin'

"The sea is a big place" "He was only going to France" ".. Maybe he went the long way around" I can't hear this and not just think 'ah yes, just like Christopher Columbus (probably smoking crack /ref)'

The passion in the way Luke says the word SMUGGLER

"Well of course we won't find someone as freakishly tall as Tarquin" *smug eye contact with Tom offstage* Love that they chose Tom's character for him there, that's funny as hell

Luke/Amanda's mom being continuously incapable of saying 'Addis Ababa'. I added the slash because I'm not quite sure when it stopped being Luke and started being a character choice

"If the law is unjust, is it unjust to break it?" "... I don't like riddles, Amanda" Love when the boys get political-

Mother gets her revenge (slight delayed reaction to being called a bitch, but it counts)!

"They're basically an occupying army of the rich and upper class, enforcing on the working man what they can and can't do while they all gallivant around" "Oh you fucking commie, Amanda" Love when the boys get political-

It sounds like maybe Tom walked 40 minutes through a broiling heat wave because the Angel tube station was shut. And he might have skipped lunch as well. I think maybe he's bringing a lot of reality into this scene guys-

"We're here together! Doesn't that inspire you?" Oh, three men on a ship, we used to be fifty-four-" Impeccable comedic timing Luke

"I told you to tie Rogers down!" Leave Rogers alone, his only flaw is an allergy to singing.. rip Rogers.. *insert AJ's incorrect sign of the cross*

"I used to have someone.. Penelope!" Od- ... Odysseus? Ody buddy is that you?

"But she always used to like to swim, so.. I'm happy for her, you know?" She died how she lived - In the sea

"And I used to have long, flowing locks" "I wasn't-" "You looked directly at my head" You absolutely did Tom, you can't deny that

The cop date being the most obnoxious man in existence did not go unnoticed by me

"The French, they're very difficult. Here, look- Can we get a fuckin', uh, menu" *Luke shoots a look at the audience before silently walking away* "See what I fuckin' mean?"

Amanda, on the verge of tears: "If someone were to go to France and not return on time, what do you think would've- would've happened to them?" Cop, apathetically: "Dunno darlin', do you want the um-" AJ's delivery kills me here, he really couldn't give less of a fuck about this hypothetical scenario

"Your knowledge of the French is very charming" *Cop immediately pawns the question off onto Luke's character who he previously said he didn't trust*

He just really fucks up the phrasing of it too

"I didn't catch your name" "I did not give it" I know it's a basic joke but I immediately thought of the Heathers musical

"It's just as well I'm not talking to you!" Have I mentioned I love Luke's character in this scene? So few words and yet the sass is unmatched

Also the irony of AJ saying he can't understand the French guy is not lost on me

"Just west of north Africa" "Are you sure?" "Yeah- Yes actually I am. I am sure." Love when you just know it's not the character talking anymore, it's just Luke

"Do you believe in true love?" "Yes I do.." "Not me and you-" These two can't go one play without flirting with each other, whether the plot calls for it or not

Similarly, is it even a SFTH play if Sam and Luke don't kiss at least once, whether the plot calls for it or not-

"Oh I stabbed you with my gun" And so begins a great running joke

And I am genuinely disappointed Luke's French waiter died, these guys have a way of making me care about the fates of characters I've only known for a minute or so

Absolute gibberish from AJ as he searches his mind vault for the same accent

At least Tarquin didn't leave Odyss- I mean Belly-Boots hanging for that hug

Remember what I said about liking to see AJ get a chance to show off his French in OMGITAJ? Well it also applies to Luke getting to speak fluent Spanish as the random guy from the Canary Islands

Luke: *is the most friendly guy ever, welcoming them to the islands* Tarquin: "I think he's threatening us"

Seriously idk if it's just my bias, but why are Luke's minor characters so likeable in this one, this is the 3rd of his guys that I've gotten attached to in an insanely short amount of time

I've watched this play like 5 times and I still don't fully know what's going on with the languages here. I think they decided Belly-Boots was just suddenly understanding Luke, but I have no idea what the original plan was

A minute later and none of the characters know what's going on either, and they're all confusing each other

The fact even Sam was caught off guard by Tom's accent(?) for the guy on the Petit Flo

"Tarquin who?" ".. Tarquin Rockhard" I actually don't know if Sam did this on purpose or if he did forget Tarquin's exact surname and used an innuendo to cover it up. Either way seems pretty believable

Classic 'AJ inserting himself into the scene' moment, of the 'random animal' subgenre. A shame that Bobo dies moments later, only breifly walking on water before succumbing to the depths of the Non-English ocean

Pirate Dude: "It's your ship now, my lady" Definitely Sam and not Amanda: "What?"

"The heat's had an effect on me.. Should've had lunch" This man better have gotten food right after the show, he's clearly starving

Amanda: "Have you sailed in her?" Tom, a perfect 90 degree angle: "Clearly."

AJ's little "Hello?" after Tom doesn't respond to him always kills me-

Singing allergies, a horrible way to go 😔

"You already had it poured-" "I knew you would come" I have recorded evidence from less than a minute ago that you did not know he would come

"You can never go home" Fuck did he drug Tarquin? "It's- it's strong stuff, isn't it?" Oh fuck he drugged Tarquin "What have you put in this drink?" *collapses* OH FUCK HE ACTUALLY DRUGGED TARQUIN

The Canary Island guide has heavy NPC energy and I'm living for it

"He's tall, he's handsome, and he looks a little bit like Superman" At least he didn't add on 'with a wasting disease' this time

"A perfect place to find one's true love-" "You're looking for true love?" "NOT YOU" Sam you can't really blame him when you keep directly flirting with every one of his characters

"We met once at a Christmas party" That joke has no right to be this funny, but it just leads me to so many questions and gives me answers to none of them- Why was there a smuggler Christmas party like it's a fucking office job? Did everyone bring their non-smuggler partners? Does Amanda's mom know this party even happened?

AJ changing his character's lie from 'he's dead' to 'he never left' to 'he killed so many animals' in the span of like 20 seconds. Absolute cinema

"I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to stab you" "I've also got a gun, there's a man lying comatose on my floor, what the fuck is going on here?" The icon returns

"His accent never stays the same!" In-Universe callout

"How did you shoot him with your gun?" Phenomenal

Sam taking any opportunity to mime-spit on his friends, even as his character is actively dying

Amanda dying is actually crazy though, no happy endings here-

But you know what, thank god the guide survived, I don't think I could handle 3 Luke characters dying in one play

Final Thoughts: Luke plays almost every minor character in this one, half of them die, and all of them are iconic.

[chronically-eepy]

Pjo incorrect quotes using my friend group quote book, part 2!

Piper: I feel like it’s justified to bodyshame Christopher Columbus

Annabeth: Why are there two semicolons in the same sentence!!!

Grover: Is that Percy? ... No that's a leaf.

Leo: l have to take a shower and I'm really nervous.

Piper: I remember sucking tits, it was the best moment of my life!

Leo looking at a lizard: Is that a Weiner dog?!

Nico: Kill yourself.

Will: That’s negative!

Piper: Leo wants to see me strip.

Shel: I wanna see you strip!

Percy: Do you ever wish that you could wish for a wish?

Piper: Women don't need rights! *slams fist on table*

Piper about Leo: He gets no bitches cuz he's chronically on feet finder.

Jason: Okay, okay, let's role play here!

Percy: This is a VERY kinky “I got trapped by a guard” role play.

Nico in dead silence: Jason is Joe Biden.

Leo: I'm not completely naked, I probably have my socks on.

Will: Gay sex is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Thalia: Scientist barbie… slut barbie!

Leo :I can do the stripper thing!

Annabeth: Calm your tits.

Piper: I don't have tits.

Annabeth: That is obviously a lie.

Piper: Spiritually I don't have tits.

Piper: PROSTITUTES WOO!

Nico about mythomagic: Just because I talked about a game for 10 minutes doesn't mean it's my whole personality.

Apollo: You reshuffle while I give my child drugs.

Piper: No one cares about Leo... I love you Leo.

Leo about Frank: He's my discord kitten.

Jason: I'm glad i got a job.

Percy: A hand job!?

Jason: Yeah.

[reidsgfbf]

I Want Your Love

spencer reid x gn! reader

in which spencer surprises the rest of the team with his music taste, which may or may not have been influenced by his partner he hasn't had the decency to tell them about yet

inspired by the fact i had I Want Your Love by Transvision Vamp in my head recently

warnings : no use of y/n, a few swear words here and there, characters may be a lil ooc, reader is only mentioned, they/them pronouns for reader

word count : 541 words, proofread

Of course, Spencer ended up drawing the short straw when the rest of the team was deciding who would drive them to the local police station. He'd only gone to the toilet, albeit reluctantly, for a few minutes, and when he'd gotten back, Morgan had tossed him the keys to one of the SUVs and told him he was driving.

Spencer agreed, only on the condition that he got to play music on the drive. The rest of the team reluctantly agreed, thinking they'd only be treated to classical music as they all bundled into the SUV.

Spencer slipped into the driver's seat, took his phone out of his pocket, which you'd bought him and taught him how to use, plugged the aux cord into it, and brought up the playlist you and he had made together.

He made sure everyone had their seatbelts on- because did you know that there's a mortality rate of approximately 50% of people who don't wear seatbelts in moving vehicles?- and then started playing his music.

The opening guitar riff of I Want Your Love by Transvision Vamp sounded out in the vehicle and nearly everyone did a double take as Spencer pulled out of the parking space and hummed along to the music. This is not what they were expecting at all.

"When the hell did you start listening to this stuff, pretty boy?" Morgan asked, narrowly dodging Emily's wayward arms as she and JJ danced to the music.

"My partner introduced it to me," Spencer replied simply and everyone paused, including Emily and JJ. The car was silent, apart from the music playing, as everyone, sans Spencer, digested this information.

"Your... partner?" Emily asked slowly, making sure she heard that right.

"Yep." Spencer responded, popping the 'p'.

"Since when have you had a partner?" JJ asked. Spencer thought for a second.

"Since about five months, two weeks, fifty-seven days and sixteen hours ago," Spencer responded precisely. "But it feels like longer."

His little lovestruck grin made Morgan snicker, which was quickly cut off when Emily jabbed her elbow into his ribs.

"Where did you meet this elusive partner of yours?" Rossi asked.

"At a museum. They were arguing with security about an incorrect factoid about Christopher Columbus actually." Spencer chuckled. "Because he wasn't actually the first European to set foot in America. In fact, he never set foot in America at all. He set foot in the Bahamas instead. The first European to ever set foot in America was actually the Viking Leif Erikson, son of Erik the Red, who discovered Greenland. Leif then discovered what is now Newfoundland and Labrador."

Emily snorted. "Trust you to meet the love of your life at a museum where they argued with the security."

Spencer laughed. "I stepped in and helped them argue with the security, but it ended up with us both getting kicked out, so we went to have some ice cream together instead, and we got to know each other."

By now I Want Your Love had finished, and now the playlist turned onto Lovecats by the Cure. Emily laughed.

"I definitely want to meet the person who has such a cool music taste now." She grinned.

"Maybe at some point," Spencer replied.

[rumoredtoexist]

incorrect aftg quotes as quotes from my quotes book:

“did you know mt.dew lowers your sperm count?” -Kevin to probably matt

“i don’t wanna talk about sex unless it’s rough, kinky, and vaginal” -allison

“i’m actually really good at fortnight” -nicky

“everyone knows gay people didn’t exist until freddie mercury” -matt

“i just love degrading abuse” -neil *deadpans to camera*

*silence* “do you wanna know what my favorite biblical quote is?” -Renee/jean

“sorry i was threatening my ex”-allison/andrew

“i quit smoking” *deadpans to camera* -andrew

“you need to clean your kidneys” -waymack

“whatever floats your boat daddy-o” -nicky probably

“just remember christopher columbus had sex with a manatee” -dan

“i just wanna make women feel self concious about their bodies” -seth likely

“it should be illegal to drive in the fast lane if you’re only gonna do the speed limit” -andrew

“how can i live laugh love in these conditions” -matt

“what i thought I was ur favorite masochist?” -neil

“just cause you don’t know what color looks like” -nicky to andrew

“how are you even still alive rn”-kevin to neil

“i promise i’m completely sober rn” -kevin

“i’ve never lost anything *pause* yk except my dad, best friend, and sanity” -neil

“ye it’s a blackout! much like my night after this class” -kevin

“if he breaks up with me i’m being a lesbian bcz i’m never being a bottom again” -allison

“wheezer isn’t bad music it just makes you un-loose your virginity every time you listen to it” -dan

“therapy has done wonders for me but being petty has done so much more” -andrew

“i’m gonna try again, and then i’m gonna give up” -andrew

“how dumb can you be? you have all that head and you cannot use it” -jean to neil

“wanna know why i’m often times distracted and have my own head up my ass?” -neil

idea from @rekikiri !!

[pyreo]

Ok so you know when you're presenting a scenario in the narrative that your audience is supposed to disagree with. and, you know, 'shaking my head while reading on the train so everyone knows I don't agree' etc, you aren't presenting this for children, the audience is supposed to know what's going on.

good writing doesn't have something in-universe that points out when bad things are bad.

but there is a loophole.

if you want to make sure, if you feel like adding a failsafe to make sure nobody starts throwing accusations, you have the character with the incorrect view say something else, earlier or in the same scene, that is wildly, brutally obviously incorrect.

you brand them with the idea that they are Wrong and the audience will absorb that trait and apply it to everything else they do.

There's a great example of this in the Sopranos episode "Christopher", about christopher columbus and how defensive people are about him, where Tony disagrees with his son's columbus-critical school book. Tony rants "he discovered America, is what he did. He was a brave Italian explorer", with absolute conviction. But just a moment ago, Tony tried to excuse columbus's actions by saying that 500 years ago everyone was less aware - "people thought the earth was flat, for crying out loud", when arguments about the shape of the earth belong to ancient Greece, around 300 BC.

He also then mentions something about "remember when we went to Florida - the heat? and those bugs?" seemingly implying that mass murder is as excusable as swatting annoying insects. an abhorrent, disgusting view - informing us in concrete terms that Tony's impassioned defense of columbus is based on flimsy logic and his mentality is flawed.

another example I like is The Nicest Kids In Town from Hairspray. a toe-tapping number about the vast opportunities for young people in 1950s Baltimore - as long as you're white!

You'd better come on down and meet the nicest kids in town! Nice white kids who like to lead the way

Other than a little zoomed-in emphasis on the singer, it's just baked into the song. It's got the same jaunty beat as everything else. So just in case you somehow didn't get how amazingly racist this situation is, Corny Collins goes on to sing:

Every afternoon drop everything, Who needs to read and write when you can dance and sing! Forget about your algebra and calculus, You can always do your homework on the morning bus, Can't tell a verb from a noun- They're the nicest kids in town!

Playing it as a joke is a good way to couch the meaning, but this is no holds barred irresponsible in a way that explains why parents don't want their children watching Corny's show. But the link is there - this guy jokingly insists that children should watch tv instead of learning to read and write. With that in the same song, are you going to trust him on any other topic? On the racial divide of 1950s america? He's the face of the show, and given the time period, what he sings isn't shocking in-universe - but it should be outside of that, and his regressive humour clues you in that the correct stance is opposing this guy.

so there you go. if you want an audience to be assured a character is in the wrong... just... make them unbelievably wrong about something unrelated.

[unhealtytophabeshipper]

Bro literally you need to think

Topher/tophabe fans who make him "yassified" or something like that are not really doing a bad thing

Do you guys really think that Topher would be dating a guy being the way he is?

If we are shipping him with Abe, so it's obvious that it is a better version of Topher, with character development when he finally accept himself as gay and stop being a horrible person

We're not drawing a homophobic, misogynistic, racist guy as a cute gremlin

Also Abe was misogynistic and homophobic too

Ghandi was really politically incorrect

Jfk literally cheated

But y'all are just focusing on Topher Bus because his clone father is Christopher Columbus as if the other clones are not bad too

Bonus: I'm gay, trans (i suffer from misogyny even tho I'm a guy) and latin american

That's all, bye

[theclassclone]

Joan: Should I be concerned? Topher: Now? No. In twenty minutes? ...strong maybe.

[crowborn666-warriors-ramblings]

Warrior Cats in Different Centuries

Since there’s so much you can do with this, I’ll be giving a list of years/centuries and the event that happen in them! I’ll start at 1300s.

Of course, if I miss anything, if something is incorrect, or you think something should be added, don’t be afraid to let me know! I mostly added ones that sounded interesting or could provide for some interesting storytelling within the clans.

Get creative, how would your clan(s) react to these events, would they gain event intel from Kittypets/Rogues/Loners? How would certain events affect them?

1300s Events:

(1314) Battle Bannockburn- Scotland- The Scots, led by Robert the Bruce, routed a larger force led by Edward II, King of England. The two armies met at the Battle of Bannockburn, which took place in central Scotland. The Scottish victory insured Scotland's independence for the next three centuries.

(1314 - 1317) Great European Famine - The worst famine to strike Europe occurred between 1314-1317. It was widespread, affecting all of Northern Europe. Eyewitness accounts tell of the poor and hungry resorting to eating cats and dogs.

(1337) Hundred Year War- The Hundred Years War began when Philip VI contested the English claim to Normandy and other northern provinces. At the same time, Edward III contested Philip's legitimacy based on the fact that his mother was the daughter of Philip IV. He demanded the crown of France. Edward won the support of many Flemish towns. He ravaged the French countryside, but at first fought no decisive battles.

(1347 - 1353) The Black Death- The Black Death (bubonic plague) that spread throughout Europe between 1347 and 1353 was the worse natural disaster in European history. It is estimated that of a population of 75 million people, between 19 to 35 million died. The plague was spread by rats infested by infected fleas. The plague originated in the East. Ships carrying infected vermin came to the island of Sicily. The disease spread northward throughout Europe. It took two hundred years for Europe's population to recover. One of the most bizarre results of the plague was the large-scale outbreak of anti-semitism. Jews were accused of causing the plague. Over 60 Jewish communities were entirely wiped out in Germany alone.

1400s Events:

(1424) France Invades Italy- Charles VIII King of France began the Italian Wars by invading Italy in September 1494. In February 1495 Naples surrendered to Charles. He temporarily became the King of Naples. Alexander VI organizes the Holy League which included Spain to repel the French from Italy. In July 1495 the French lost the Battle of Fornovo and Charles was forced to flee Italy.

(1431) Joan of Arc- Burned Alive- Joan of Arc entered Comiegne outside Paris and was taken prisoner. The British held Joan in prison in a tower in Rouen.Charles VII made no effort to assist her. The English in 1431 turn Joan over to the former bishop of the of Beauvais Pierre Cauchon on the assurance she would be convicted of treason against God. She was convicted and burned to death at the stake on May 30, 1431.

(1492) Christopher Columbus arrives in America.

1500s Events:

(1501) First black slaves in America brought to Spanish colony of Santo Domingo.

1600s Events:

To be added (it is believed that cats arrived to the US by ship in early 1600s, as they were excellent mouse and vermin hunters.)

1700s Events:

To be added

Resources below:

[homemade-potato]

i find it kinda fucked up that we don't get taught both the consequences and extent of colonialism in history, like,,, some people's countries haven't been free from British rule for 40 years, like, if I hadn't googled that fact, I probably would never have known it

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #1664

(Dialogue from The Good Place, mostly.)

[cursedbygacha]

Gudako: So, you’re Christopher Columbus?

Rider of Resistance: I guess so. Why do you ask?

Gudako, sharpening knife: No reason.