#is this the kind of romantic gesture that works with autism

[pubbykid]

MY GF GOT ME A TAILLESS WHIP SCORPION AS HER VALENTINES GIFT TO ME

[ohmaerieme]

THINKING ABOUT LOUALPH SO MUCH IM GONNA KILL AND DESTROY. loualph hcs long-ish post because otherwise ill start beating up my laptop I NEED EVERYONE TO STOP MISCHARACTERIZING THEM RIGHT NOWWWWW YOU DONT NEED TO DO THAT TO SHIP THEM!!! ok im normal.

louie and alph are both ace, neither has actually come out to the other they dont even talk about it they just dont think abt that side of relationships or have any desire to it at all. like they just forget it exists do u get me

like many(?) loualph shippers i also believe they became friends and then grew feelings because alph pulled all nighters to work on the ship/take notes etc. and louie was the only other person awake to talk to.

^^ alph talks about his family and how he got into engineering etc and louie just kind of listens. he chimes in with a word or two now and then when something catches him. and alph is always surprised by it too he pauses for a second to look at him like 😯 and then continues talking

louie talks about his family too. kind of. more like vague comments or admitting he misses his nana .AND HE TALKS ABT COOKING TOO!! and his cooking show dream!! he doesnt ramble like alph does, mainly just speaks in a sentence or two every hour or so

louies feelings go from 'man this guys kinda annoying -> well its nice to have company i guess. i have nothing else to do -> i dont want to leave him alone ever'

alphs feelings go from 'this guys really strange but its some kind of company at least -> hes a really good listener wow. yknow what hes kinda interesting too -> hes kinda like my opposite and i cannot ever imagine not talking to him again'

alph tried making a love poem once and louie was just confused reading it HIS ASS DID NOT UNDERSTAND. alph was so embarrassed he never ever tried again. louie still thinks about it wondering wtf it was supposed to be about he does NOT understand poetry at all

louie gets overstimulated by touch easy and alph gets very flustered by any romantic gesture. together they make the ultimate autism 'our love language is quality time' couple.

louie also actually has gift giving as a love language too. hes kinda bummed when he learns koppaites can only eat fruit but he tries very hard to make fancy fruit plates for alph when they havent had time to talk in a while

unrelated to loualph but very important. he can in fact escape the restraints but he likes the tight pressure from them (sensory seeking mf)

that is all DO YOU UNDERSTAND. MY VISION

[pearl-dragon-cavern]

Meet my Yuusona, Yuna Alyssum Malvern (She/Her)👻🌷

Random Facts:

Class: 1-A

Birthday: April 21st

Age: 18

147cm

Ambidextrous

Plays the viola

~She's a runner she's a trackstar~

Loves parkour

Has Autism, ADHD & Anxiety

Mountains lovers club

INFP

Demisexual

Sleep deprived

Skilled with her hands

She disguised herself as a boy with the help of baggy clothes and a sports bra so she wouldn't stick out more than she already is being the "magicless" prefect. Besides Grim and Cr*wley slowly the people in her inner circle learned (and some people outside her circle) she was a girl (Epel was not happy=D)

Personality: Generous, Passionate, Kind, Compassionate, Naive, sharpwitted, joyful, warm, Nurturing, clever, somewhat competitive, blunt, determinated, neglectful of her own needs, vigilant , affectionate, shy, dense as a rock when it comes to romantic gestures aimed towards her, cheeky, razorsharp focused on her passions, talkative around those she's comfortable with

I'll share more about her eventually

(Note: I'll work on a full profile eventually in the meantime I hope like my yuu)

she's just like I pictured her❤️

(Disclaimer I don't own this pose, found it on Pinterest)

[imjustabeanie]

yo its seras ... i decided to send one in for fun. id like a relationship matchup for someone from jjba + genshin if you could please.

any prns, cancer, intj, aro bi (im in romantic relationships so idm it. i just dont prioritize romantic gestures as they make me uncomfortable), true neutral, i have bpd + autism + bipolar + chronic pain so woo

im like 5'2, shorter hair like dirty blonde almost brown, pale also bc i dont leave the house except to go to work lol, freckles, blue eyes but they look more gray. i dont emote much at all really. i have a hard time talking about feelings / emotions / much of anything. i only talk passionately when it comes to my interests and things i really like. im very stubborn and overwork myself often. it takes me a long time to warm up to people and be trusting. i dont like touch unless ive been around you a Long time. i like people who make me feel looked out for and who won't be afraid to essentially force me to calm down / take breaks. not super pushy but like. kind pushy if that makes sense? i dont want to be smothered and need my space and would rather like parallel play. i like watching / playing games together and just enjoying time together. i also deal a lot with extreme emotions and hiding them, hence the bpd... my mood swings are a lot of the reason ppl can't handle or deal with me so someone who won't mind them so much would be nice? or someone who can rationalize and help me through emotions and things. i also need a lot of attention but not in an overwhelming suffocating way. im also hypersexual and it has a big part in my relationships and i need someone to keep up with that too. i have tendencies of being a bit manipulative but i dont. like that about myself. i dont like to go out a lot and would much rather stay at home. i dont mind going out to quieter places or just doing mundane things! i also do like going out for food + for conventions or events related to my interests. amusement parks also rock. i have special interests in animals (marine animals, cats, dogs), mythological creatures, the paranormal, cryptids, cosplay, animanga, video games (especially rpgs + visual novels + dating sims + rhythm games), old web, character analysis, horror media, and psychology.

hopefully thats enough? tysm

Trade!

Your genshin match is Wriothesley!

He's patient, funny, a great judge of character and respectful. What more could you ask for? Once you two break the ice you hit it off rather well. He's very caring as a lover without being overbearing. He's always here when you're in trouble and always looks out for you in his own way.

Wrio is definitely someone who can deal with you, he's patient after all. Especially with his lover. He knows when you're reaching your limit and he has a space in his office just for you to rest. But at the same time he's ready for you to innitiate more activities together. The most important is that you know he loves you. He shows his love through small acts and gifts. He always gives you his time and learned to convey his feelings with little gifts through the day.You always receive flowers, chocolates and a good lunch from him.

When he can, he'd love to go assist events at the surface! When he really can't he'll just order/make the foods he wants you to try. He also always gets a bunch of movies so the two of you can watch them together. As much as he enjoys physical affection, he'll always wait for you to initiate first. Once you give him the go he becomes another man.

Overall, it's a very nice relationship where you don't publicly show your love but people still know it's there. Wriothesley is patient and will always wait for you to come around. And he still gives you gentle pushes to encourage your goals.

Your JJBA match is...Kakyoin!

Not gonna lie, Bruno was a close second but Kakyoin is way more playfull and chill. Both know how to guve you space but Kakyoin knows how to have fun.

Kakyoin shows his love through acts and quality time. He likes going on dates with you to explore new places yet also takes care of you and does his best to make you more comfortable. He's not that big on physical touch either so you don't really have to worry about this. When you engages he'll just happily welcomes it.

He absolutely loves playing video games with you! The two of you spend hours at arcades and the scores are often a tie! He also loves horror movies. One of the most common things you two do is just...sit in a pleasant place and discuss a recent movie/video game you two did. He's also quite cultivated in mythology so he has nice book recommendations. Food isn't much his things so he'd rather follow your recommendations.

Overall, you two are the average high school sweethearts but on the more timid side. People just know that you're soulmates by the way he looks at you.

[llycaons]

ep6: oh shit, there’s women in this show!

the fact that nhs knocks with a secret code. lmao

every single time I see this scene I have the same thought and its ‘jc tells wwx to stop being gay for alcohol’ because that’s what wwx is doing here metaphorically

I LOVE when they’re all scrambling here and wwx crosses his legs and fixes his hair

mind-control talisman must be insanely powerful to work on lwj so it must have some kind of constraints, like it’s not a total mind control, the subject has to be caught off-guard, etc. I like to think wwx realized how unethical it was after this and destroyed it but it’s a very strong magic spell to just drop and never mention again (LIKE TIME-STOPPING)

cut-sleeve? is this an intentional nod? it seems deliberate enough. is wwx in-universe testing the waters? he seems to think lwj is straight later on

THIS SHOT. SO CUTE

how he says wife...

I think lwj def knows he’s gay he’s just resigned to being alone for life because he can’t fathom being allowed to marry anyone but a woman and he doesn’t want to do that obviously. also he’s isolated bc of the autism and reputation... god, this scene is so sad

I didn’t realize this happened so early in the series! it’s so cute!

wcz is wearing jiang purple

this kid is SO well cast, he looks so similar to wwx esp around the eyes

lwj’s posture is killing me he is so fucking funny drunk

this set is SO pretty

this scene REALLY jumped out to me on my first watch - wwx sees lwj not bend and is determined to match him. not to be outdone

HE IMMEDIATELY STARTS PLAYING UP HIS WOUNDS WHEN THEY MEET WITH LXC. god wwx is such a delight

aww, lxc. nobody else would talk about him to his mother. this is so kind bc obviously it means a lot to him

actually I think wwx is perfectly within his rights to be annoyed that lqr treats him differently based on something his mom did. come on, lxc!

SHOE FLYING AWAY. THERE IT GOES. LOVE THAT MOMENT

at this point I think wwx has a crush but he also just wants to be friends so if lwj isn’t interested in him that way (and at this point he def thinks lwj is straight)  he still wants to hang out. I don’t think he expects his feelings to be very strong and in fact, in the future I read him as avoidant and scared of his feelings precisely because they’re more powerful than he knows what to do with. but for now it’s just a crush that he thinks he’s okay with not going anywhere as long as they get to hang out

lwj’s hair is so pretty here. this shot of wwx does make me laugh

hm. this means nothing to me. they’re not at a point yet where it means anything to them either and it was done just to protect wwx so *shrug*

wwx sheepishly getting off the ancestral table and then makinh gestures to dust it off is so fucking funny he has so much personality and charm

ik this is supposed to be a romantic moment but the guy looks so head empty. nothing going on behind those eyes. what do they brits say? gormless? he’s gormless

that post like ‘he becomes excited and deferential at the sight of a lesbian’ very true.

lwj doesn’t interact with many women throughout the show but he’s always very polite to them. probably still misogynistic, as every man is in this series is, but arguably less so than wwx (calls jl a mistress to demean him) and jc (has that stupid list of ideal wife qualities, genuinely tried to marry wq away from her family). he clearly respects ly a lot as his elder and I would love to have seen more interactions between him and other women.

heyyy demon subdue palace

ly being the only female leader of a very conservative and patriarchal sect is so fascinating honestly. would love to see more of her

also the rabbits with headbands might be dumb, but I think they’re cute

every single thing ly says also applies to wwx. the show hitting you over the head with parallels: DO YOU SEE HOW WWX AND LAN YI ARE SIMILAR. DO YOU SEE IT?!

I fucking love parallels. they made those women lesbians together

personal highlights:

lwj slouched over when drunk

wwx playing up his wounds when they see lxc

that shoe flying into the pond

wwx making a show of dusting off the table he was sitting on

[mbruben-stein]

Could I please get a matchup for LOTR and The Hobbit? 🥺

🍃 I’m Bisexual and Genderfluid but I would prefer a male ship please

🍃 I have Autism so I can be pretty awkward and a little flustered, especially around new people. I’m also super blunt. I stim by pacing and flapping my hands

🍃 I work at a greenhouse and I’m really muscular. I really enjoy physical labor and getting muscular because I feel so good about myself when I look buff and lift things with ease

🍃 My love languages are 100% physical touch and acts of service. I’m not one for grand romantic gestures though, those embarrass me. I’m a lot more lowkey with affection

🍃 I’m like 4’ 11” with long wavy brown hair that I usually have up in a bun, glasses and the body type of a rectangle. I don’t have many curves

🍃 I’m pretty diplomatic and can be very witty, I’m really good at coming up with jokes and funny quips on the fly. I am very protective over people and I really just want to take care of those I love. I have a strong sense of duty to take care of others and make up for my wrongdoings. I’ve been told I’m pretty charismatic, which is a surprise to me

🍃 I’m so used to taking care of people that when somebody takes care of me, I get a little freaked out. I can be a little nervous about love in the beginning, but I come to pretty quick

🍃 I study like a maniac. I just LOVE learning new things

🍃 I look really sweet at first but then I turn right around and show my true chaotic self. I used to wander around in abandoned mineshafts as a kid, I swear like a sailor, and I have a terrible disregard for my own personal wellbeing

🍃 I can also be really anxious, overly sensitive and confrontational. I don’t start fights but I don’t back down from them easily

🍃 I give really good advice though. I’m really smart and have a lot of experience with different things, so I’m good at counseling people

🍃 I can’t stand being cooped up inside, I need outside time every day

🍃 I mainly write and draw, but I also love carving things like wood and stones. I mainly write comforting things for other people because I just want to make people feel better. The world is cruel, so I won’t be

Sorry that’s so much, I hope you’re doing well!! Thanks so much honey, have a great day!!

A/N: Hi, I am so glad you ask. You are the very first person to ever ask for a match-up for that thank you. I hope you enjoy this.

The Hobbit:

Your Match is Bofur.

Bofur would be a person who doesn't care what your sexuality or gender is, he would love you for who you are.

He would think your hair up in a bun makes you look really cute.

For your height let's just say he would give you a lot, and I mean a lot of hugs. (This man is a big softie, and I am not kidding.)

For your autism, he would think it's just another beautiful thing part of you.

He would think you are so funny because you can automatically come up with a joke and funny quips on the fly, which would automatically make him laugh, as well as make his day.

He would think your protectiveness to family, and friends, kind of make you attractive even though he won't admit it.

Now your chaotic self on the other hand, oh man, he would think it is just so adorable.

Every time you would start swearing like a sailor, let's just say he would start laughing and a few times he would fall out of his chair.

Bofur would love that you love to learn new things. He would definitely teach you how to make wooden toys by hand. It would definitely become you guys' favorite bonding moment to gather.

Bofur would definitely love to hear all the stories of things you did when you were a kid, especially about when you used to explore abandoned mineshafts as a kid.

Overrule Bofur would love you to pieces.

The lord of the rings:

Your Match is Frodo Baggins.

Ferst off this little hobbit would love you to pieces.

He would be really understanding that it would take you a while to get used to this new relationship.

Frodo wouldn't push you to do something if it made you uncomfortable.

This little hobbit would smirk everytime you get flustered. He would honestly think every time you're flustered and you have read little Rosy Cheeks he would think you were adorable.

Every time he would see your muscles or see you lift something he would get flustered.

(You two would definitely start a war on who can get the other flustered LOL...)

He would definitely give you a lot of physical affection like kisses on the cheek, hugs, kiss you on the top of your head, etc.

He would play with your hair and help put it up in the bun every morning.

Honestly even though you take care of a lot of people, he would try to take care of you and return even if it did make you flustered.

Honestly this little hobbit is very protective of you and loves you to pieces.

Even though you tell him you could take care of yourself he still will do it anyway.

He loves to hear all your stories when you where a kid, (Just like Bofur).

Overall this little hobbit loves you so so much.

[bi-and-bewildered]

Hey! godo you have any 🍀 about moreid? or about the team acting like a family?

either is good , thanks!! :D

okay so Derek and Spencer definitely get together after like years of fucking pining (half the people they work with already thought they were dating BEFORE they got together)

Derek hates cleaning and Spencer hates cooking so when they move into together they work out that system fairly well.

Derek like does this thing where he introduces anyone he’s planning on getting serious with to Clooney to see if they like pass the vibe check. Spencer is terrified but Clooney absolutely adores him (it helps that Spencer is totally a sucker for his whining and slips him food off his plate all the time)

Derek is absolutely a morning person. Spencer is not. Cue lots of whining in the morning from Derek who’s been up for hours and is bored out of his mind and Spencer who needs at least 2 more hours of sleep.

These self-sacrificing idiots give each other mutual tension headaches from watching their partner do incredibly dangerous things and then two minutes later be like “hey😌”

Penelope gives both of them equally terrifying shovel talks. Spencer can’t look her in the eyes for two weeks and Derek steadfastly avoids calling her unless it’s absolutely necessary for at least a week.

Derek’s adhd + Spencer’s autism= mutual understanding

Adding on to that, Derek and Spencer both get ridiculously distracted when they’re anywhere near each other. Derek encourages Spencer to talk about his special interests and Derek finds Spencer infinitely more interesting than boring paperwork. Hotch threatens to refuse to let them do paperwork in the same room (but doesn’t actually do that because that would be a sure fire way of making them even more distracted)

Derek discovers new hobbies or interests like twice a week and immediately forces Spencer to tell him about every single piece of information he knows on the subject.

They both are ridiculously romantic. Spencer always says the sweetest things at like the most random times and consistently leaves Derek stunned. Derek on the other hand is much more an acts of service guy and is always doing some sweet gesture that usually leaves Spencer speechless.

They in turn work incredibly well together (excluding the paperwork situation). It honestly is kind of freaky how much it seems like they’re practically reading each other’s minds.

anyway I hope you like these!

[signedaiko]

hello! i’d like to request a romantic tfp matchup!

this got a bit wordy, so i apologise if there’s any trouble!

i’m a vietnamese 5’7 nonbinary with sorta shaggy hair? it’s black and there’s some light purple streaks in it. my pronouns are they/he. i’m an INTP diagnosed with autism. i’m also a maladaptive daydreamer. i’m mostly known as the quiet, “who knows what’s going on in their head” type in public, but with close friends i tend to ramble about whatever i’m thinking.

i’m not sure why, but i like the kind of people who talk a lot. i like having someone to fill the silence, since i tend to communicate through writing or gestures when tired (which is most of the time). if we’re close, i’ll talk to you physically, but it tends to tire me out even more. i don’t really know why it’s been like that- i used to be really talkative.

i’m very interested in voice acting and impressions, and hope to do that kind of work in the future. it’s always been my dream to be a part of something big, but i constantly doubt myself and have trouble going outside of my comfort zone. as of right now, i like to work on voices for my ocs, or just the characters that i like. i can do a pretty good ratchet, which is fun.

i’m quite forgetful, and i tend to repeat myself. it’s probably because of my constant daydreaming. i often tell stories i’ve already told before, or rambled about something that i’ve already rambled about. i’ve been trying to work on it, but i even forget to do that. it’s kind of a problem, and i appreciate anyone who reminds me to do things.

my hobbies are writing, voice acting and watching anime, emphasis on the last one. if i’m currently invested in a show, it’s usually all i think about. i’ll unintentionally change the subject of conversation just so i can ramble about it. it’s lost me a few friends in the past, so now i tend to not really talk if the conversation isn’t about something i’m familiar with. that said, i like to ramble to my dad about the shows i watch, or my ocs, or anything really. i’m sure the old man is tired of listening to me now haha

- espresso anon

You got…Knock Out!

If we look for someone who will absolutely shred the silence, it's Knock Out by far. This mech even speaks to himself. Whether someone is there or not he's always chatting it up. But if he's the first to admit, having someone like you there is always better. Your little nods of agreement and small gestures only encourage his rambles, which got him to work just a tad bit faster. He actually encourages your use of what he calls " Humans power to mimic others " and what you call voice acting to Megatron, allowing you to skillfully trick some of the bots using their own voices. You don't like getting too involved in all that, though, so they have to convince you pretty thoroughly. It's one thing to talk a lot, but it is another to come up with those hyper Autobot personalities. Knock out is insanely good at getting you to laugh. With his dramatics and unorganized attitude mixed with all of that sass, it's hard not to double over. He loves your laugh a lot and only sees it as a reason to continue prodding. Once you passed out, passed out from it, and he still fears for your entire life, haha. Date nights involve you showing him your favourite shows. He was so used to drive-in theatres that he never expected to be able to project earth movies anywhere he wanted. Now you have someone complaining about the plot WITH you. " She totally deserved better- " " Humans are ridiculous! She clearly HAD to do it...Primus. "

———-

Authors Note - So lovely to see you Espresso anon; we are starting to accumulate a whole coffee shop in here with caffeine birb anon too!

[autumnslance]

I've got a writing question that's been on my mind for a while: how do you keep your OCs from becoming self inserts? Every time I think of developing an OC I realize that it's attributes that I

Oops, you got cut off! But in general: all your OCs are going to have traits of yours; it’s inevitable. Sometimes big things, sometimes small things. It’s how we relate to them, and also just natural, I promise. We write what we know, and we know how we interact with ourselves and the world.

But there is a difference between sharing some traits with a character and making them a self-insert. It’s letting their life, their community and culture, their experiences, also influence their traits and thinking, in ways that might be different from how you would respond in a similar situation. Even if you share those attributes.

This is me so let’s go behind a cut shall we?

Dark Autumn is as introverted and solitary by nature as I am; she can and does interact in professional and friendly ways with people (as I try to do), but needs alone time to recharge. However, Dark also has a very different outlook and relationship with her family than I, since her family is large and supportive, very close knit. If family is a lottery, I got the $50 scratch off prize while she hit the Mega-Millions. So I take that into account when thinking of her relationships not just with family, but with friends and potential romantic interests; Dark sees things through a lens of positive, low-drama familial relationships that I can barely fathom. This also means she has a support network and resources myself and other characters don’t, so gets some wish fulfillment of working through issues with care and grace instead of remaining in unhealthy places. She is my “comfort OC” so gets a lot of good things I wish I had—which shapes how she responds to others, like taking care of a FCmate and becoming something of a big sister figure for him, or the responsible older sister figure of my group of OCs. Which is me, really, idealizing my own older sister tendencies into this giant woman who’s better at it.

Aeryn was written to be on the ace scale; not my first character to be so, but the first written that way as I began to realize where my own orientations lie and wanting to examine that through fiction. That she fell for a certain rogue in the process of playing through MSQ again was not at all intentional. I like Thancred as a character—he hits a lot of tropes I enjoy—but in my own mindset, he’s a frustrating younger brother. I didn’t think I’d do NPC x WoL shipping. But there it is, because in determining Aeryn’s own experiences and how those shaped her, it ended up working out that way (and I spent the better part of 2 years writing the characters separately to figure that out and if it could work before writing them together because it’s not something that comes naturally to me).

Aeryn’s internal anger is something I have a difficult time with; it’s outside my own nature to carry things like that. I have my angers, certainly, but they are different from hers. I tend to need a lot to set me off and then it burns out hot and quick. Aeryn’s more of a long boil she keeps bottled up. I’ve gotten a few things through various fics, I think, but it’s why I do things like reference arguments but rarely depict them. Being non-confrontational myself (I’m meek and have hangups thanks to my own life) it’s a challenge. Aeryn responded to childhood traumas (that I never dealt with), bullying (that I did), losses (that I haven’t yet), and the responsibility she’s been given (thank goodness I don’t) far differently than I. Maybe I’d be more volatile, too, if I had her life. But I understand where her anger comes from sharing some of the reasons, I just shape it differently than my own.

There’s a lot of things about Dark and Aeryn that are accidentally similar, just due to the timing of their character generation and other RP OCs made for other games along the way; “Oh I haven’t done X or Y in a character in awhile” sort of thing, but how each approaches those similarities and why—their quietness, their issues with using magic, their tendency to “adopt” others as family—all come from different places and resolve differently, too.

C’oretta comes from a part of me that doesn’t quite want to grow up. That wishes I had been more of the peppy, active, cheerful, risk-taking, live it up stereotypical party kid, that “popular girl” archetype I felt so often on the outside looking in about. As my second character, I wanted her to be different from Dark Autumn—visually, emotionally, mentally. Where Dark is steady, C’oretta is flighty. While Dark is people oriented, C’oretta’s a bit selfish (like I often feel). Dark’s introverted, C’oretta’s extroverted. Much of C’oretta’s attitude is a deflection against the hurts in her life, a way to fight back against some terrible things. It’s a way I could never react. But I also can’t get away from a character who loves to learn and wants to try new things—but where other characters gain the ability to stick with and see them through, C’oretta gets my easy frustration and boredom, and then the “ooh shiny” of a new interest. There’s a history of ADHD (or whatever the acronyms are now) and even autism and learning issues in my family; it’s possible I have some undiagnosed ND stuff going on, and people have noted these things in C’oretta that I’ve based on my own experiences and those of people very close to me.

Many of my characters have traits I wish I had, or were better at; patience, kindness, consideration, convictions, courage, thoughtfulness, and so on and etc. They’re good at skills I haven’t the knowledge in, or the ability to do. They’re certainly more active than I am, or could be! Because I can take the time to think and plan and research and write those things out better, and just maybe along the way not only learn something myself, but try to practice it better myself. I can even sometimes let them teach me what I can possibly do or be, not just imagine it as an ideal that’s out of reach.

I try to let my characters make mistakes I wouldn’t—or in some cases, have in my past, and that’s OK. Especially if I learned from them, but maybe the character does not. Maybe they do but it takes awhile, or repeated instances until it sinks in. Maybe I let them make errors I still make, as a way to puzzle out better solutions I should probably entertain for myself.

Character voice is something I’ve felt I struggled with in keeping my OCs distinct. Do characters ‘sound’ alike, in dialogue and prose? Having distinct ways of speaking helps; C’oretta’s breathless chatty run-ons are certainly different from Dark and Aeryn’s quieter tendencies. I have to remember to trim down Aeryn’s dialogue more often, say less aloud, add more gestures and facial expressions. I tend to be a talker, an over-explainer (if you can’t tell), while the only times she gets like that are specific. Dark’s somewhere in the middle of those two, like I am. A lot of the reason I like writing NPCs and try to keep them close to my interpretation of canon is to practice distinct character voice to get better at it in my OCs, so they don’t sound like me!

And something I’ve never admitted to before is that I think for me, it helps that from the time I was a kid watching various series of Star Trek, I always have had an in-my-own-head-only self-insert. She’s always a support character (that’s what I’m best at). She has cool and unusual abilities to help the actual heroes, cuz heck it’s my internal fantasy and that’s fun. She has traits I want to be better at or wish I had, developed over time with more energy and focus than I can actually muster in reality. As time’s gone on, she’s become more of a mentor and Mom Friend as I’m now older and see a lot of protagonist characters as “my kids” now. She appears in nearly every story I’ve loved over time, in one iteration or another. And because I have a headspace character where I can say “this is what I, ideally, would say and do and be capable of in this situation…” My other characters that I actually write about can vary between doing something similar (if it suits them) to doing something completely different (cuz darn kids never listen) as I can compare them to the self-insert and decide where to diverge.

So it’s a mix of myself and my traits and knowledge, but taking into account how each character would respond and use those same attributes differently than I do or would. Write what you know, write who you are—and then add in some wish fulfillment, some what ifs, some bad choices, some good choices, and shake things up. Give the characters tics and tricks different from yourself and let that shape them, too, by remembering to take those things into account (even if you have to tape a note to your monitor).

And finally, don’t be ashamed of your self-inserts; I’ve known some great characters that started as self-inserts and grew, through their experiences, into wholly different people than their writers over time. Heck, the epic romance my original WoW priest was part of was with a character that started as a self-insert; his player began the game knowing nothing of the lore or roleplaying, but as he learned the story and how to RP, and determined how his character fit into the world and how that shaped him, the character diverged over time, while still sharing some key traits (some endearing, some frustrating, as people are and all part of that friend). It’s not a bad starting point at all. The rest can come over time and practice, especially if you make a lot of OCs and try to make them different from each other while also being aspects of yourself.

[katpapple]

Random Summer Troupe Headcanons

Tenma 🌻

Everyone in the Summer Troupe has declared that Tenma has 2 modes. Actor mode is when he's big brained and really knows what he's doing. Then there's the Hack Mode(As dubbed by Yuki), where he's just pretending he has a braincell when you know damn well he doesn't.

Feels really insecure about not having any friends growing up like the others did.

Since he's a trained actor, he's probably got one of, if not the best singing voice out of everyone in the company besides Juza.

Is secretly a sucker for romcoms, but doesn't want to admit it.

Knows the lyrics to EVERY Disney song. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules in my brain(oh wait, yes I do, teehee).

Honestly ngl I feel like his favorite Disney Princess movie is Tangled 😳👉👈

Yuki 🎀

Me: Yuki is genderfluid af Tenma: understandable have a nice day

Always has a sketchbook for costume designs

Would totally work as a fulltime costume designer as an adult

Would look adorable with longer hair. Like tied up in a cute little bun,,,, my heart,,,

Starts to crush on Muku HARD. Yes I ship these two, they're just so cute-

Likes going shopping with Azami for new clothes

Looks up to Muku because of his kindness and drive to improve and be brave

I personally think his favorite animal would be a chinchilla because they're smol and floofy

I feel like as he gets older he'd take on a flexitarian lifestyle. He mainly eats a vegetarian diet, but on special occasions he eats meat.

Makes a beauty blog with Azuma and Azami

Is unironically good at freestyle rapping and it kinda both impresses and annoys Azami

Muku Sakisaka 👑

Becomes a shojo mangaka. That's it that's the post send tweet.

Loves showing a lot of romantic gestures to Yuki when they start dating, even if it embarrasses Yuki a lot.

Asks Yuki to make costumes based off his favorite shojo manga

Starts a yoga group with Misumi and Tsumugi!

Loves learning about the flower language from Tsumugi because he finds it fascinating and romantic!

Takes Hisoka and Misumi to a cat café because yes :')

Surprises everyone by being fluent in French! :o

Misumi 🔺️

I personally headcanon Misumi to have Autism, since I myself was diagnosed when I was 9. I relate to him in particular with his interest in triangles, since I myself have areas of interest I hyperfixate on.

I like to project and say some of his stimming includes rocking, flapping hands, clapping, and snapping fingers(those are some of my stims, like I said it's me projecting asjfjshdj)

Would be a fun yoga instructor!

Gets a skateboard that has a kinda triangular look from Taichi and cherishes it forever

Would honestly look good with a nose piercing to me

His favorite season is autumn because of the colors!

Celebrates hanami with his boyfriend Kazunari by going to view the cherry blossoms(Misumi calls the blossom triangle blossoms 😭)

Kazunari 🌺

BI. AS. FUCK.

Loves drawing portraits of his friends(with permission of course)!

Has a lot of fun learning to play Shogi with Misumi

Kazunari is totally a Kirby main

Loves Gorillaz cuz of the artstyle!

Takes Misumi on a scuba diving date 😌

Would totally own a scooter

Kumon ⚾️

His favorite Jojo is Jotaro because he reminds him of Juza

Loves the idea of going to a rock climbing wall with some of the boys

Surprisingly more flexible than he lets on

Likes going on runs with Muku!

Gets a scooter to fuck around at skateparks with Kazunari

If anyone in the Summer Troupe were to play the drums, it would be this guy.

Challenges Kazunari to DDR and they keep record on wins and losses

Ness main. Purely for the baseball bat.

[fangirltothefullest]

Hey! I was looking theough the dj alien stuff again (love that au so much askjdksj) and I wanted to ask something. My autism really said 'brain is white noise' lol. So, how do they talk? Because you say Logan sounds like a synth-y piano of sorts, so does he speak in piano notes? And Roman is a singer, so he must speak words then but is it English? Do they have their own language?

I suppose like, more general, how does communication work? Does Logan *piano noise* and Deceit *drum noise* in response? Is it like having different accents or? I just really wanna understand because it all looks so cool.

They have their own language and they communicate specifically in music sounds! So... to us it would sound like a symphony when talking (they do not need pauses to understand each other and talking over each other or with each other is still understood) and they see it as language. Certain noises will mean things but it’s all in tone and pitch! So while they have different instrument sounds, IE, drums or bass or piano or synth, they all understand intonation. 

So you know how you can look at a person who is speaking english and they can shrug and make an “Uh uh-uh!” and it’s like... we know by tone and gesture that it means “I don’t know” even if the words aren’t spoken. It’s kind of like that! 

I had posted before that when Logan gives lectures in his own language it sounds like that song Cat Jams? It’s like that. An argument would be a series of angered noises, romantic talk would sound slow and amorous. Excitement would be upbeat and such. They have bands too like we do, and that’s why they came to earth, to study how our music communicates so similarly even though we use spoken language.

[duchessofostergotlands]

Hi, jess! A couple of months ago I sent you an ask about a reality tv show (the farm) and a participant who has bpd (she didn’t win the 1 million price, btw - but she was so happy when she found out that a good portion of the public supported her, specially women ❤️ she’s famous because of only fans and most of her followers on social media, before her participation on the show, were men. So she said she was happy to see so many women supporting and following her now). Anyway while watching the show, I realized many of her behaviors were so similar to mine. Then my mom and sister, who live with me, told me they noticed that too. I decided to ask my psychiatrist and psychologist (I’ve been dealing with depression for the past 10 years), but both didn’t give it much credit. At the time I agreed with them - they said I probably don’t have bpd because the behaviors I was describing only happens when I’m home, with people I trust. I’m very “controlled” when I’m with other people, including my dad (who hasn’t lived with me since I was a kid). The point is, I’m ALWAYS making a huge effort trying to control myself in public - it’s exhausting and I believe it’s one of the reasons I tend to isolate myself. I think I’ve actually learned to camouflage my feelings and to avoid things that trigger me. I used to be more “uncontrolled” as a kid, before I created this deep rooted fear that people’d leave me because of these behaviors and reactions. Do you think it’s possible to camouflage some of bpd’s symptoms? And, if so, do you have any tips on how I could talk to my psychiatrist and psychologist about it? —— I didn’t want to make this ask any longer than it already is, but one of my childhood friends was recently diagnosed with autism. We don’t talk much nowadays, but she messaged me last month to tell me about her diagnosis and to ask if I felt I had some of the same treats - thinking retrospectively, we were very alike. It made a lot of sense and I remembered you said sth about bpd and autism sharing some similarities in some aspects of how the brain works. She also told me about recent studies showing the underreported diagnosis in women. My psychiatrist and psychologist also dismissed it, because I don’t avoid eye contact and have friends. I’m really confused right now, but it’s also kinda relieving to get to know myself a bit more and to think that the struggle I’ve felt my whole life is real. (Sorry for the long text!)

Hey :) Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. Just like to be able to dedicate a bit of time to longer messages like this and I rarely have the attention span for it! But of course I remember the conversation, it was really interesting to hear about what the contestant went through. 

So yes, BPD and autism are often misdiagnosed as each other as there are similar traits that are often found. Usually around attractions to patterns and structure and also around empathy. Like I don’t generally feel empathy for people in the same way most people do. I’d say unless you’re a close friend or family member - or maybe if you’re a child - I probably wouldn’t feel empathy towards you. I generally make decisions about moral standpoints and such based on what logically makes sense to me rather than any kind of emotional connection because I just don’t really feel that. I think the reasons autistic people may sometimes struggle with empathy are different but to an external person would seem very similar so can often be confused. 

To address your two points that made you unsure about the diagnoses, BPD is definitely highly interpersonal so it can change drastically depending on who you’re with. I can be friends with someone for quite a while and they have no idea but if I’m in a romantic or physical relationship with someone they’ll know within a few days. Romantic relationships are my personal trigger so they’re where I struggle the most. Then in terms of autism, lack of eye contact doesn’t really mean anything. I think that’s a common misconception people have but two of my cousins are autistic and they were both very outgoing and friendly, they were incredibly tactile, I didn’t notice them not looking me in the eye but I probably don’t look people in the eye much because that feels weird haha. Women in particular are not well studied when it comes to autism as you kind of mentioned. They are generally better at “masking” and so are often misdiagnosed or their condition isn’t picked up until well into adulthood. So even if you have friends and can look people in the eye it wouldn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t fit the criteria. 

I wouldn’t want to diagnose you with anything myself as I’m not a professional and I don’t know you personally. The DSM outlines the criteria for being diagnosed with BPD. You have to demonstrate at least five of the following and as with all mental illnesses they have to cause a significant impact on your ability to carry out your responsibilities and go through daily life:

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

Pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Those are the criteria that would most likely be used to assess you. In the UK we can be diagnosed with depression and anxiety by a GP but have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist to get a PD diagnosis. It sounds like you’ve already been in contact with them. I’m not too sure how it works where you are. Can you get a second opinion? Are there other doctors you could make an appointment with? Could you go private? I’m very aware of the fact that having the NHS in the UK means that my experiences are not applicable to everyone’s circumstances but for me when I first went to get help I was given meds and a depression and anxiety diagnosis and sent on my way. When that didn’t help I went back and got a higher dosage. And then it still didn’t help and finally I was kind of at rock bottom (or I thought so at the time) and needed help and so what I did on that occasion was have a friend accompany me into the room. They had created a list of things they’d seen me do or heard about me doing that were concerning to them and gave them to the doctor, and they kind of backed me up and gave me moral support. It shouldn’t have taken someone else being in the room for me to be taken seriously but having someone there who could express what I might have been too shy or self conscious to say was really helpful. In the end I got referred for treatment and it wasn’t right for me ultimately as my problems were more complex but it helped for a bit. I don’t know if there’s anyone in your life you trust to be able to be there to support you but I think it can be really intimidating to push back with doctors and professionals and having someone there who knows you and cares about you can be the thing that gives you that extra bit of courage you need. 

I’m not sure how helpful that is but I’m available if you want to ask me any questions about BPD or any explanations of how I experience the symptoms or anything like that :) 

[hopeshoodie]

I don't mean right now, like take your time, but, so you are doing the anniversary thing? 😄 (for a while I thought I was in the A-spec but my previous therapist said no, so it's the depression I guess hsahah)

OOF that’s relatable, I’m constantly asking myself ‘is this a symptom of my autism, depression, trauma response, or just something normal people feel under late stage capitalism?’

I’ll probably make a fic about this in the future because I love the idea of Noah and MC’s or Marisol and MC’s anniversary, so I left them off the list, but here are some basic headcanons:

Carl: MC assumes he forgot because he just gets up and goes to work like normal and she doesn’t hear anything. She doesn’t mind because she knows how he is and it’s not a massive deal (plus maybe he remembered but thought it was a different date- do you count when you first coupled or when you left the show or when you became official). But when he gets home from work he immediately changes into a really nice suit and fixes his hair and is like “why aren’t you getting ready?” And MC is like “???????” 

Carl says “Oh shit- did I mess up the date- is it not our- fuck- I” and MC laughs and hugs him. “You remembered!!” He looks kind of surprised and says, “of course I did. I’m so lucky to have you- why would I forget. Now please go get dressed our reservation is in a half-hour.”

Gary: Lowkey I think Gary would forget. Even if he doesn’t, it dawns on him like the day before and he scrambles to get together flowers/chocolates/a card. He’ll be super loving about it and let MC know that he loves her, but it’s pretty clear he didn’t want to make it a big deal and only went out of his way because he thought she’d make it a big deal. I can see him going way more all out for Valentine’s day though.

Henrik: Not an anniversary day, an anniversary week!! My boy is a massive romantic at heart and loves doing big gestures to make MC feel appreciated (plus he secretly loves when she posts photos online and everyone celebrates how in love they are). MC wakes up the Monday before to a note on his pillow. The note describes how Henrik knew he’d been casted in the show so he specifically watched the first few episodes looking for someone to potentially couple with. It was obviously going to be MC, as much as he didn’t want to put his eggs all in one basket. On the show he reminded himself that MC wasn’t as invested and let himself be disappointed when he got voted off. As excited as he was to see her again, he kept reasserting that it was just a crush and MC seemed happy in her couple. But when she picked him at the recoupling? He was over the moon. 

After reading that in bed, she gets up and finds several pieces of memorabilia he kept from the show- a pressed flower from one of your dates, a coal from the firepit, the blender O ring. He’s printed out several tweets of people recapping their sweetest moments from the show. That surprises MC because Henrik doesn’t use twitter that often, but he clearly went hunting through her likes to find something meaningful. He’s in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She walks over and wraps her arms around him, laying her head on his back as he turns the eggs.

“What’s all this about, then?” She hums, and he sways slightly as he cooks. 

“Our anniversary, darling. It’s been a whole year and you haven’t gotten sick of me yet.” She laughs, “That’s pretty presumptuous, who says I haven’t?” He chuckles and turns after she lets go. “Plus our anniversary is on Thursday.”

“I know.” He kisses her sweetly then walks over and grabs two plates, “but I want to make it special. You deserve it.”

The daily surprises escalate in sentimentality, including things like photos of them, ripped out pages of Henrik’s journal where he talks about his feelings for her and their relationship, and small gifts like perfume/chocolates. It culminates on Thursday, which he asked you to take off for, when the two of you *insert the fic that I’m working on- no spoilers*. 

He keeps giving MC little gifts and a ton of extra affection on Friday-Sun, but that was clearly the highlight. 

((That lowkey became a drabble but like gosh I love my boy so muchhh))

Ibrahim: He goes all out for your anniversary- booking MC a plane ticket to Singapore, giving her his credit card and telling her to pick out whatever she’d like but get something nice for tonight, then flying her somewhere lovely (idc about travel so let’s say… Paris? That’s allegedly romantic, right?). They have a 5 star meal together and then do something luxurious like a jet boat ride or something. Idk what nonsense rich people get up to. Point is that Rahim loves spoiling his girl and would go all out for their anniversary. 

Lucas: Similar to Rahim, but I think it’d be MUCH more personalized to what MC likes as opposed to just ‘women/people like expensive things’. Lucas is very in tune with what MC likes- is she a beach/forest/prairie kind of girl? He definitely rents out a townhouse somewhere she’d love and they take a vacation for their anniversary. He’d still be spoiling her with gifts/shopping, but there’s more time for emotional/personal intimacy (partly because he structures the activities to be couple-based and partly because a long weekend gives you more time than a single date night). 

Rocco: Forgets and if you are upset/remind him he’ll be like “I love you every day, I don’t have to wait until a specific day to show it”. But like… does he really show it? Also that’s his excuse for Valentine's day. 

[narkito]

What are signs/traits of autism (specifically those relating to criteria section A) which are more subtle? Like the subtle signs and not the straight up obvious signs (like "non-verbal" or "always takes things literally" or "flat affect").

I assume you're asking because of the other post I did.

OK, let's break down DSM-5 criteria A:

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative,not exhaustive; see text):

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

2. Deficits in non verbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction, ranging,for example, from poorly integrated verbal and non verbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures: to a total lack of facial expressions and non verbal communication.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behaviour to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

--

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity: this reciprocity refers to how involved you're with the other person during an interaction (the back and forth that takes place in communication). Part of that social-emotional reciprocity is knowing how and when to initiate or respond to others' social initiations. And we also look for sharing of interests, and how "balanced" that sharing is, how comprehensible the content of the communication is (do you talk as if the other can practically read your mind? do you give context?), how reciprocal is the conversation (do you let the other talk about stuff they care about? do you talk mostly about your own stuff? when the other talks about stuff they care about, do you give any response to that? is it to ask further? or just to change the subject back to something that matters to you?), social initiation (do you talk on your own or do you only start talking when somebody else speaks to you? do you show others stuff to share on that enjoyment? do you freely give out information? do you always expect the other to start the interaction? do you let the other start interactions?)

Deficits in non-verbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction: visual contact (is it the kind of visual contact that helps regulate an interaction or is it perfunctory, a look into the other person's face as you start speaking and then drift away? do they actually look at the person or look beyond? to their clothes? not at all?), gestures (do you have hand gestures that help clarify or enhance the interaction? do you imitate using a fishing pole when talking about fishing? do you put your thumb and index finger almost together, touching at the tips when talking about some wee-itty-bitty-little thing that you found?) , facial expressions (does your face know what you're talking about? do you look the part? if you're talking about something that makes you happy are you frowning or smiling, is the smile so big it looks like it's going to split your face in half?).

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships: This is all about relationships and how well you can explain them considering your developmental level and language ability. And how strong your relationships are. What are friends for you? What is family for? How do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? What is a marriage? What is a romantic relationship? What's the difference between a friend and another person? What makes people angry,sad, happy? What makes people you know sad, angry, happy? And what we look for is the understanding that some relationships, such as friendships go beyond the functional aspects of it "somebody that can drive me to work and somebody to play with" and that people understand the differences between one type or another of relationships. Finally, we also look for your history in friendships, familial relationships and/or romantic relationships. This part is often an interview by a clinical psychologist that evaluates your view of the world when it comes to other people, and what other people is to you.  

--

Some very subtle examples of this would be (this is not comprehensive):

1) Sam is talking with Ana, Ana talks about her day and how her boss effed up big time today, Sam keeps on eating, looks up at Ana once during her recount of her day, once Ana is done speaking, Sam talks about this really cool thing he did on a video-game, mentioning nothing about what Ana just said. Once he's done retelling his stuff, Ana comments how fun the video-game sounds.

Sam in this case was not reciprocal of Ana's part of the communication, like a ping-pong of sorts, Sam let the ball pass him by and introduced his own ball. Ana, in turn, was reciprocal in her interaction when Sam told her about his video-game. If Sam shows this behaviour in various contexts and with various people, not just because,maybe he dislikes Ana, or was tired that day, we could say it's a subtle form of deficits in social-emotional reciprocity.

Most Anas of the world, when faced with a Sam that doesn't ping-pong the ball back would say "wasn't my boss dumb?" trying to get you to reciprocate her part of the communication, and subtle Sams of the world often reciprocate only when asked/prompted to.

2) Sally looks at people only when when she starts an interaction, but then her eyes wander around the other person's face and lips or the room as she talks. She looks away or to her feet when she's done. Mark, his brother, looks at people in the eye, and sends brief looks to their eyes again when he wants to make a point, and then looks at the person again to get confirmation they were done with their turn speaking so he can respond again.

If Sally rarely uses her eyes to signal the other person or to engage the other in their interaction, and it happens in most contexts and with most people, that's a subtle sign, because she actually makes eye contact, but only briefly and not through out the interaction, like Mark.

3) Danny has 2 friends at school, who he plays with during recess, he says they're are his best friends and he really likes them, parents assure me those three boys are thick as thieves, on further inquiring it is revealed Danny does not know their last names, which grade they're in or how far from school they live, when asked what they do during recess, each of them plays in their own mobile phone, but together in the game, it's an RPG of sorts. When asked why he's friends with these two boys, he says it's because they have good phones, and they can play together, when asked what's the best thing about friendship, he answers "mobile data", because he doesn't have a plan, but this other kid does and shares it with him when they play. When asked what's the difference between a friend and another person, he answers good friends are people you play with, when encouraged to expand his answer, he adds he's not friends with people who don't play X video-game.

On the surface, it looks like Danny is an average kid with average interests, he loves video-games and playing with friends during recess, he recounts how much time he spends with them, parents know about these kids. But when we look deeper, friends are only functional to him with no deeper understanding of an emotional bond.

Another example would be the person that when asked what's important about marriage, they tell you about children and how wives/husbands are to love and to cherish. Sounds romantic and cute. On a deeper dive they have no real understanding of the give and take a marriage takes and they only perform stereotypical roles they have gathered from watching TV/films and reading books, they can't really understand why their spouse gets their pants in a twist when they don't do X,or understand X thing, because they have been really dutiful in their perceived role as a spouse (so doing and/or understanding X fall out of their purview).

None of this traits/examples are enough to say somebody's autistic, but when put together along with the other criteria it could paint an ASD picture.

Hope this answer helped clarify stuff anon!

[sun-kissed-star]

Could u write albert/race (platonic or romantic) w adhd!race (btw i l o v e ur fics)

thank u love, just for you here’s a fic of me projecting on race, ft. an asshole date and albert being a sweetheart

trigger warning: ableist language

~~~~~~~

“Come to the park with me on my date, he said,” Albert muttered to himself, swatting a branch out of his face. “It’ll be fun, he said.”

In any given situation, Albert would rather stab out his left eyeball with a spork than be a third-wheel on a date. It made him anxious and turned him from calm and collected to a shy, awkward mess in a matter of seconds. 

Apparently, all those things went out the window when Race was involved. Albert guessed it was fair, anyway. Race had met a cute boy named Kevin at a party, been asked out on a date, and proceeded to beg Albert to come with him. He’d barely talked to the boy and he was “too young and pretty to be murdered on a first date.” (Race’s words, not Albert’s.)

Besides, it wasn’t really third-wheeling. Not when Albert was crouched in a tree, watching Kevin slip his hand into Race’s. It was technically called stalking. 

“You having fun?” Kevin said to Race. They were sitting on a bench directly under Albert’s tree, and frankly, he considered it a miracle Kevin hadn’t looked up yet. 

“Yeah,” Race said, grinning at their linked hands. His cheeks and ears were tinged pink. “I love this park. When I was seven, my mom, my biological one, took me and my best friend Albert here. I don’t live with her anymore, I doubt she remembers it, but I broke my arm. I don’t even remember how. I mean, that wasn’t the last time I was here, that’s the only time I’ve ever broken something. My brother says it’s a miracle I haven’t cracked my head open from all the idiot stuff I do. He shouldn’t be talking, right? He’s usually the reason I do stupid stuff. Me and him went to this park a few weeks ago. Oh, his name’s Jack, I’ve got two brothers and a sister, all adopted, our poor mom. Have you met him? He was at that party we met at, but he was probably passed out on the couch.”

Race took a breath and looked at Kevin expectantly. Albert had followed the entire conversation, more than used to Race when he started rambling, but Kevin didn’t have the same expertise. He looked like a deer in headlights, scrambling to find an endpoint to Race’s story. 

“Um… you’re a foster kid?” he finally settled on saying. “Or, um, you’re adopted?”

Albert didn’t approve. 

“Yeah,” Race said. “Adopted when I was eleven. Did I mention that? Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to unload on you.”

“Um, it’s okay, you didn’t,” Kevin said. “So… what happened with your brother?” Race raised an eyebrow, and Kevin elaborated. “A few weeks ago? When you were here with him?”“Oh!” Race said, and he launched back into his story like he’d never taken a pause. “So, we dragged a trampoline to the base of a tree, and he dared me to jump off a branch and land on the trampoline. We didn’t have a helmet so we just used a pillow. Honestly, that was one of the times where I thought I’d break somethin’ else, but it was just that one time when I was seven. I had a huge scratch on my leg for a couple weeks and I’ve got a scar, but it’s not that bad.”Kevin laughed awkwardly and tucked his hands under his thighs. It was then Albert noticed that Race had pulled their hands apart and was gesturing grandly with one. The other was resting on Kevin’s knee. Race was a tactile guy, and Albert was surprised the hand hadn’t made its way to Kevin’s face. 

“You talk a lot,” Kevin said. 

Race smiled. “Ain’t the first time someone’s told me that, trust me,” he said. “You should talk to my teachers. They’d probably go on tangents longer than mine about me. My math teacher doesn’t like me ‘cause I always get the answer right, but not the way I’m supposed to get it, which is fuckin’ unfa-”

“Let’s get ice cream,” Kevin cut in, standing up suddenly and grabbing Race’s sleeve to tug him up with him.

Race smiled sheepishly as his hand moved to grab Kevin’s again. Kevin stuffed his hands in his pockets pointedly. “Okay, cool. Sorry. Just let me know if I start rambling like that and I’m bein’ annoying. I’m kind of an idiot.”

“It’s fine,” Kevin said with a grin so fake it hurt to look at. The kid was getting a solid two out of ten on Albert’s scale of “People That Deserve To Hang Out With My Friends.”

“Hey, I don’t have my wallet with me,” Race said, patting his pockets. “But I can pay you back for the ice cream. It’d be the gentleman thing to do, right?” He winked, sidling up to Kevin’s side to lean on him, and Albert forced a laugh back down his throat. 

Kevin didn’t think it was funny. When Race’s elbow raised to rest on his shoulder, he moved away. “You didn’t bring your wallet?” he said, frowning. “But I didn’t bring mine. We agreed to get ice cream a couple days ago, when I asked you out, and you said you’d pay. Remember?”

Race’s face fell when Kevin stepped back. “Oh… oh,” he said, realization dawning over his face. “Fuckin’ shit. I’m sorry, Kevin,” he said, running a hand through his hair. Albert wanted to jump down and give him a hug, but that might have had something to do with the fact that his back was permanently cramped from hunching over in the tree for so long. 

Instead of forcing a smile and saying “It’s fine,” which Albert had been expecting, the frown didn’t waver on Kevin’s face. “What’s your problem, man?” he said. “Like, I don’t wanna be rude, but you’ve spent this entire time talking about yourself and you forgot about something we agreed on two days ago.”

“I… dude, I didn’t mean to,” Race tried. “Sorry if I’m being obnoxious. I have ADHD and I’ve been out of meds since last week. I forgot to tell my mom, but she’s picking them up today.”

If anything, Kevin’s scowl deepened, which just made the situation worse. Albert could read Race’s stiff shoulders and fleeting eyes like a book. “That’s not an excuse, dude. I get that you’ve got memory problems or whatever, but we’ve all got our issues. Can’t you just… I don’t know, try harder?” 

“I -”

“Forget it,” Kevin muttered. “I’m not really in the mood for ice cream, I think I’m just gonna go home. I’ll text you or something.” He clapped a hand on Race’s shoulder. “See you later, Tony.”

From the look on his face as he walked off, hands still stuffed deep in his pockets, Albert had a feeling he wouldn’t be texting. 

He waited until Kevin had completely disappeared around the corner. He’d pulled out his phone as soon as he left Race alone, thumps tapping wildly on the screen. Albert could only pray there wouldn’t be rumors about “the weird, freckled kid that never shuts up” at school on Monday. 

He jumped down from his tree, a lot less gracefully than he would’ve prefered. Race jumped a foot in the air and whipped around as Albert sweared loudly, clutching his foot. 

“Shit, I forgot you were up there,” Race said. His shoulders slumped, and he looked more like a kicked puppy than a dejected teenage boy. “Sorry you had to listen to all that. Like, me rambling and then gettin’ ditched by Kevin and whatever.”

“Shut up,” Albert said. Hearing himself out loud, he quickly backtracked, “I-I mean, you can talk as much as you want. I just don’t want you to… you’ve said sorry too much today, Racer. It’s not your fault.”He stared intently at the hole in the toe of his Converse as he was talking, and when he looked up, Race’s eyes were red. He wasn’t quite crying, but his voice cracked when he spoke.

“Yes it is.” It sounded like he’d tried to sound angry with himself, to snap out his words like a rubber band against raw skin, but he just sounded sad. “Don’t play dumb, Albie. Kevin’s right. I talked about myself too much, and I forgot about somethin’ so fuckin’ simple, and I chased him away. Did you see his face?” he demanded. “He looked at me like I was a fuckin’ alien from Area 51, and then he left.”

As much as Albert wanted to say “Good riddance to him, then,” he didn’t think it would be appreciated. He stepped forward, Race sunk his head into his shoulder.

“I’m such an idiot,” he said, words muffled in Albert’s shirt. “And I kind of wanted that ice cream, babe, not gonna lie.” 

Albert gripped the back of Race’s neck wordlessly, knowing the pressure was grounding and comforting from how often Race did it to him. “Lucky for you,” he mumbled in Race’s ear, “I always come prepared. C’mon, dude, my brother gave me twenty bucks and I’m spending all of it before I step foot in my house.”

Race smiled against his shoulder. “What would I do without you? Seriously, would I be dead? I think I’d be dead.”

“No, you just wouldn’t have stories to tell about breaking your arm with me to asshole dates.”

“He wasn’t an as-”

“Race. You told him you had ADHD, and he told you to try harder and get over it.”

“I should’ve told him before so he’d know how much work I can b-”“If I told someone I had autism and they told me to suck it up and stop whining, would you deck them or not?”

Race lifted his head, silently pursing his lips together. “Okay,” he admitted. “He was kind of an asshole.”

Albert nodded solemnly. “The asshole to end all assholes,” he said. He was just trying to make Race laugh and they both knew it, but in his defense, it was working. “C’mon,” he said, grabbing Race’s collar and ushering him towards the sidewalk. “Chocolate or vanilla?”“Both. Extra sprinkles.”

“Damn. You know I’m paying, right? Maybe you’re the asshole.”

Race laughed again, throwing his head back and an arm around Albert’s shoulders, and for the first time in an hour, all was right with Albert’s world. 

TAG LIST

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[jr4de]

Fic Writing Meme

@redcap3​ tagged me, and I always love things like this!

What is your total word count on AO3?

844536, coming up on a year of writing. I was kinda hoping to break a million words in a year, but things at work and in real life have meant a fairly slow month so that may well not happen. However! I suppose I have two or three chapters of several things written, so I guess I could always post those if I wanted to pad it out XD

How often do you write?

I try to write every day, but that doesn’t always happen. Usually I can get some out, though - and amount written varies from day to day of course. Some days I’ll go at it in all the free time I have and only end up with a thousand words, sometimes I’ll knock out a complete 7500 word fic in an hour and a half, just depends, heh.

Do you have a routine for writing?

MUSIC! That’s about it, really; sit somewhere - at home, coffee shop, what have you - and put on some headphones and start playing some music. I joke that playing it louder forces words out of my fingers faster (because of the increased pressure in my ears, right? XD).

All kinds of music, usually just shuffling my library or a large chunk of it - lots of people say they need instrumentals, but I’m happy with whatever. Vocal, instrumental, pop, rock, synth, classical, all kindsa stuff. Often I’ll tailor the musical selection somewhat to the subject matter - SoaOW was written to lots of Depeche Mode, Shiny Toy Guns, Fad Gadget; slightly strained and synthy stuff to go with the neo-dystopian setting, y’know?

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

Hmmm. Well, I suppose I’d say “not necessarily”. I don’t think I’d say that I’ve written particularly much in the way of kink-driven stuff, although what I’ve considered has been rooted in character anyway in a way that- well, I don’t know if it’d exactly count, but I suppose someone can tell me when I write it, heh.

Tropes? I like some tropes, I like when they’re used fairly subtly; one that I think will usually be found in my works is that the good guy wins. People don’t die (and stay dead) for no reason!

(...and yes, the “and stay dead” is definitely important because I am known to occasionally kill or nearly-kill good characters for uh... well, just go read BSN or SoaOW if you want to see XD but they don’t stay dead!)

Pairings? Oy, just fuck me up. I love ‘em. I've got a soft spot for polyamorous groups given my own real-life Venn intersection there, heh. One that has a special place in my heart, certainly, is Winston/Orisa - for two reasons: one, I have written the only fic with that ship so far on Ao3, and two, every single person who has ever commented on it has said the same thing which essentially amounts to “Okay, when you said Winston/Orisa, I was dubious, but these two are so freaking cute!” And you know what? They really are.

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

Oh dear, favourite? “Favourite ______” is a sure-fire way to make me waffle for a good long time, haha!

I think my favourite in general will probably be “Both Sides Now”, for now - almost a half-million words of action and interpersonal relationships, weaving in backstory for Overwatch’s earlier days and fall. I don’t think it’s the be-all and end-all, though, not nearly.

I think... my favourite underrated fic of mine is “Used to Be”. It’s a shorter thing, introspective and reflective, Fareeha sitting at Ana’s grave and wondering over what their life was like, and wondering why she hasn’t cried since the funeral. I just really like how the portrayal of Ana as a beleaguered and wearied mother and soldier came out, and the way it dealt with grief. I like the turnaround and how the ending mirrors the beginning, and several little turns of phrase in it, and I think it’s not got particularly much notice because there’s no romantic ship involved. Just a daughter and her mother who she misses, but doesn’t know quite how to deal with that feeling.

Your fic with the most kudos?

“Both Sides Now”, hands down. “Streets of an Orphaned World” is holding at around two-thirds of that, my nearest contender, but it’s been finished so long that it’s highly, highly unlikely to close the gap in my opinion XD

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

Honestly, it depends on the day. When I’m having good days, then it’s all pretty great - but when I’m having bad days? Uh, everything. The description’s somehow simultaneously pedantically excessive and still inadequately sparse, the dialogue’s choppy, the prose is stilted, words are overused, aaaaaand basically it sucks XD

...but that’s just the bad days. Most days? Most days I like it pretty well, but I’d say a commons ticking point with me is this: the length.

Don’t get me wrong, I like being able to write longer things, but I would also dearly love the ability to write short ones. I can write a 20k fic in two days, and I have done as much, but writing something short? Writing a chaptered work that doesn’t break sextuple digits? That’s really fucking hard for me. I would love to be able to write shorter stuff, but it just takes an absurd amount of effort for me to do so.

Now something you do like?

Hmm. I think I have some good lines. Some good points. Overall, I’d say... the flow. I think I have fluid writing, that can kinda sweep you away if you let it - to the point where you maybe don’t think about how long it’s been since somebody talked, or how long this paragraph of thoughts has been carrying on, where you don’t think about the chapters and the pages and the words until you realize that you’ve read a hundred thousand words already and yet, still, you’re only a quarter of the way through.

I like that.

I like my dialogue, even though I know a lot of what I write in it is stuff that, it is said, should not be written in dialogue. I have misspoken words, and epithets, and pauses and lots and lots of punctuation - em-dashes and semicolons, chunks of word broken up by actions, italics and emphatics because that is how people speak in my world. The people around me gesture. They squint. They get halfway through a word, stop, frown, shake their head and start again from the beginning. They shout. They make up words. They use pet names, or teasing ones, or whatever else.

I like that.

Most of all, though, I think what I like about my writing - what I hope for, and what I always love to hear confirmed when I get feedback - is that it makes people think. Somewhat, sometimes, about some things. Or at least about some thing, singular, because I want it to be fun and enjoyable but I’d also like it to do something.

If someone can read my Satya/Symmetra, and walk away with maybe just a slightly more in-depth view of what Autism might entail in an everyday space, what it’s like maybe when their classmate or friend or family member or lover is having a bit of an issue, a bit of A Problem, and if that person can then maybe bring that understanding and make things a little better, that’s what I want. I like that.

If someone can read my Amélie/Widowmaker, and gain maybe a bit of a deeper understanding for trauma or sociopathy, that lack of what we might sometimes call basic human empathy, and realize that lacking that doesn’t inherently make somebody a bad person - that’s what I want, I like that. If someone can read any of my old guard - Torb, Ana, Rein, Jack, Gabe - and see something new about PTSD, or see the same in Tracer; if they can get some calm from Zenyatta or some hope from Tracer or some anything, from any of them, from me, then that’s what I want.

What do I like about my writing? That people take it away with them. That they take it, and they cut out the bits that they love, and they carry those bits around right next to their heart.

I love that.

Tagging people! @madame-kiksters @oinkyblanketpig @thesoundofthunderstorms @app-jelly @twoheartedalien2-0 Sure, those seem like some good folks; do this if you want! If you don’t, don’t! I’m not your real mom. XD