#it doesn't even make sense i'm just flinging my feelings at everyone because i don't know how to handle them

[the-light-hum-by-the-lonely-sun]

(cough cough everything here is my interpretation etc etc dont get mad at me)

The Mind Electric isn't really a diss track. I mean, it sort of is, but not really.

I think it would be far more applicable to call it a vent post. Mind, despite pretty much constantly trying to give off the impression that he is in control, kind of isn't ever, really? In Whole, he's left on the shelf, and during Cacophony he is the "Ruler of Everything", but doesn't really rule... anything?

Sure, he has a degree of control over Heart. To my understanding, he only has control of the Vessel through Heart. During Just Apathy, he tells Heart what to say, and Heart relays it through the Vessel's mouth. (Assuming that's why Mind is telling Heart to say things. It makes more sense than Mind 1984ing Heart.)

Even in his songs, he never gets anything across. Be Born is pretty much him pointing out Heart and Soul's faults, and neither of them listen. He immediately must cave to Soul's will during The Soul Eclectic, where Soul refers to himself as a "lord" over Heart and Mind.

He's also the one that most consistently brings up the issue of time. After Mucka Blucka, with the notable exceptions of The Bidding and Taken for a Ride, they largely don't acknowledge the Time Loop, with the exception of Mind. He brings that shit up constantly to the point where it's kind of funny? Look at his lines in TWW&Y.

But overall, he's real goddamn frustrated. He *is* actually decently logical, but emotions run over. The guy that shot him, textually his only friend, vilifies him (NOTE: i don't think Heart is unjustified in this. It's pretty reasonable. It's just not the point right now), everyone is ignoring him. He is 100% ready to combine throughout the majority of Cacophony. Like, it's just towards the end of STAAS and most of TME that he isn't.

So yeah! He got pissed! He started flinging petty insults because that's what he thinks Heart is doing. He's basically yelling, "FINE! If this is how you want to treat me, I'll do it too." It isn't even completely petty! Towards the ends, he clearly calms down. He's still bitter, but like. He closes it out by saying that Heart almost murdered him and plays victim, that he too is necessary, and that despite being harsh he wants the best for everyone.

Okay. Essay over. I might read over this later after I'm fully done with my total analysis, but I think this is pretty alright. Feel free to correct me on anything I got blatantly wrong. Again, I don't think Heart is completely in the wrong or anything, it's just. This is about Mind, lmao.

[deerlottie]

I started watching Yellow Jackets a little while ago, I think I'm on the third episode or something, lately it's taken me longer than usual to finish something😀, anyway... I've had so many spoilers that I can barely count them, I don't really care that much honestly.

I found your account randomly, I kind of landed here by parachute, but god...I loved your writing, your bots, everything (new favorite writer updated successfully😊

Yes I have a huge crush on Sophie Thatcher and she compiled Natalie Scatorccio simply left me unable to function properly, this woman is amazing . I can't stop thinking about Antler Queen!Nat receiving a lap dance as a kind of "gift/offering", like there's that romantic and sexual tension between you and Natalie, where you're both kind of an unofficial couple, like...neither of you have really kissed or done anything before, but there's that mutual agreement and silence that you belong together. to each other (not in a toxic way or anything, you both just know), So when Natalie becomes the Antler Queen, Lottie suggests that an offering be made in her honor, it turns out that you are the offering, all pretty and dressed in your own "crown of horns", as if it were a little smaller than the of the queen but she is still there and her face is also hidden, wearing one of those beaded tops that barely cover her nipples and a long, low-waisted skirt... imagine, everyone sitting at a large improvised table made of some wooden trunk, with Natalie sitting at the end of the table like a true queen, you are sitting at the other end of the table and then you start to do your dance, walking across the surface until you stop on the other side, straddling her lap while continuing to roll and rub against her, and there's all that palpable tension like it's so strong it could be cut with scissors.

....I imagined something like that for the beaded top...I don't know, it certainly doesn't make any sense in the general context of the series, but I saw this piece on Twitter and I had this thought and damn, I needed to share it somewhere because in the my head would be super sexy

https://twitter.com/frenchmarlboro/status/1784984871758082141?t=U2exL2CfzHeViAVb9dvi2A&s=19

its an honor to be ur new fav writer what the hell!!!!!!! <3

everything about this is perfect.....nat and you getting jealous of each other - like you getting upset at her hunting with travis and her getting pissed that shauna's spending too much time with you despite not even really being 'together'. but you know you're hers and she knows you are hers. showing her affection for you by sneaking under your blankets at night and cuddling with you, kissing your neck and you just Know that that's her saying 'i love you.'

but YES the lap dance @__@!!! i think it'd be cute if you were wearing some of her old clothes like her stockings or something while giving her the lap dance ;3 feeling her skin cover in goosebumps as you grind against her lap...you can barely make out her face in the antler queen crown, but you can hear her. her little shaky breaths as you rub your chest up against her barely covered one, how she lets out whimpers when you start to palm her pussy through her skirt....i think she'd end up breaking and fling you against the table to hold you down while she uses you for her own pleasure until you're so fucked out you cant even talk. nat carrying you back to her room and you can barely make out lottie ask her if she enjoyed her offering

[desultory-novice]

I will 1000% ask about how your Meta-Knight ain't got no common sense :D Please, explain in detail.

Before I start, I want it to be known - Meta Knight is among my top favorite characters. He WAS my favorite character before I got hyper-attached to the tricksters.

That said, I do not put him on the same pedestal most of the rest of the fandom (??) does. And I mean that lovingly. I'm all about having as many different interpretations of characters as possible. So if everyone else's Meta Knights are the smartest member of the main team, that's cool!

But I didn't grow up with the anime, where Meta Knight was the mentor and holder of the only braincell. I grew up with Kirby's Adventure where Meta Knight flings his mercenary group at you while also throwing you Invincibility Candy like he's meme Tuxedo Mask! And he's doing all this AFTER having been entrusted with a piece of the Star Rod by Dedede to stop Dream Land from being consumed by the literal incarnation of Nightmares!!

...Very responsible. :nod nod:

And Revenge of Meta Knight! As can be pointed out, Meta Knight is close enough with Dedede to be entrusted with a piece of the Star Rod and the secret of Dark Nebula's sealed treasure chest, but somehow, in-between these two events, he just randomly decides to START A COUP?! And it's because he thinks random military action will make the Dream Landers abandon their lazy ways!

I really don't think highly of the Return to Dream Land novelization but there's a scene early on where Kirby and Meta Knight are trying to talk down some enemies "peaceably" but the second one of them makes a single misstep, Meta Knight draws his sword like it's a fork at an all-you-can-eat buffet and immediately wants to DESTROY these two goons just because someone said the word "fight."

This one is more of a personal interpretation, but I laugh every time when fighting Meta Knight in Kirby's Epic Yarn because it just feels like every time you snatch the CLEARY EVIL sword away from him, he just grabs the next one without even thinking! (I mean, more likely it just takes him over while he's still fighting off the possession, but I can't imagine Meta Knight would refuse a sword even if it was labeled "Massively Evil - Do Not Touch.")

And he builds the Buddy Fight Tower with Dedede. I want to emphasize that. That wasn't Dedede saying he wants to build a 99-floor tower to fight Kirby and Meta Knight trying and failing to stop him. No, you can bet Meta was on board the whole time. The end credits make it clear they were always in this together.

He's Dedede's Sworn Partner. Not his Smart Partner.

I know I've made some comments about Meta in Amazing Mirror too in regards to the treatment of Dark Meta Knight. One possible interpretation I put forth, based on DMK's crazy pause lore is that Dark Meta Knight has been around for mu~ch longer than the plot of KatAM and yet Meta Knight thought it was cool to just keep a lid on the whole "parallel universe with my blood-thirsty combat-crazed doppleganger running around. Oh yeah, he can also LEAVE said parallel universe at will and has power over prismatic light and can split things into four but again, no need to warn anyone about that. I'll go off to smack him around myself and not tell anyone."

Meta Knight is kinda cringe. He's a big, huge dork. He thinks he knows what he's doing but he doesn't. You know how he likes books? And likes to read? So he's smart?!?

I point you to the Sweet Dreams, Kirby book where Meta Knight shows up with a friggin' encyclopediaat some UNGODLY hour of night and asks Kirby - KIRBY - if he WANTS TO READ WITH HIM!!

No wonder Kirby doesn't grace that with a response.

Meta Knight is... kinda dumb. I'm sorry~! I love him as much as the rest of you do. I really, truly do. But he's a silly bat...

-

As for Marx's placement, to re-iterate what I wrote in the tags, Marx may have thought to wish on a planet-sized pocket watch to be able to do mischief all day long with no consequences, but at least he kept his plans to himself. He didn't linger around and get all chatty and give reasons for Kirby or the others to get suspicious.

He followed Kirby discretely, waited until THE perfect moment, backstabbed (back-kicked) Kirby into space and made his wish. Marx would have won if not for the Sparkle Stars saving Kirby's life AND providing him with a ship. And that was damn well nearly a deus ex machina save!

After Marx gets blown up and turned into meat spaghetti, the next time we see him, he's suddenly all playing nicey-nice with Kirby and friends! "Look! I'm a good guy now! Mwee hee hee!" But it's because he knows that Kirby can and will defeat him if he acts up. That Kirby will defy all logic to do it. As he has before.

...Marx learned his lesson FAST. Thus, why I judge him smart.

He is terminally silly though.

[aurumacadicus]

Okay I just thought of thus yesterday. Stony identity porn but the other way around. As in, Steve and Tony know of each other that they are Captain America and Iron man, but the rest of the world doesn't and gets very upset when they see Steve rogers flirting with iron man!?!? He's in a relationship with Tony Stark?!?! And Tony stark is flirting with Captain America?!?! Meanwhile the team is freaking out trying to find a way to tell them they are cheating on each other

(Sorry english isn't my first language hope it makes sense) (also it's a little long and detailed for a prompt but I thought of it and wanted to share with you!)

Beloved, it makes perfect sense <3 Hope everyone's okay with me roasting Steve because I feel Tony would be expected lol

--

"Steve," Tony said, coming into the living room.

"Sweetheart," Steve replied, not looking up from his book.

Tony didn't bother circling the couch, instead flinging himself over the back to flop into Steve's lap. "I'm absolutely tickled to be able to say that you're in hotter water with the public than I am."

"Why," Steve complained immediately.

Tony waved the magazine he'd brought with him at Steve's face. Glee wasn't enough to describe how smug he felt. "Everyone expects me to flirt with Captain America because I flirt with everybody. Of course I'd flirt someone who saved my life!"

"I didn't. You were fine, remember?" Steve huffed.

"I was," Tony said, ignoring he'd almost been kidnapped by Doom but for one well-aimed shield throw from Steve at the tentacle holding him captive. "Or I would have been. Whatever. But no one was surprised that I gave you a little smooch on the cheek!" He waited for Steve to turn faintly pink, then continued, "But you, you're a one-fella kind of guy. You get super offended when people flirt with you, and you get really angry when people flirt with me in front of you!"

"Because you're mine," Steve growled, leaning in to smack a kiss to his lips. "And I'm yours."

Tony almost forgot what he was saying, leaning in to chase his lips, but then he remembered he was gloating and he pulled back. "So everyone's shocked that you would flirt with Iron Man. Shocked and appalled."

Steve sighed and lifted a hand to rub his eyes. "You're enjoying this too much for someone whose boyfriend is supposedly cheating on them."

"It's kinda novel that I'm not the ho this time," Tony admitted.

Steve leaned in to kiss him again, murmuring, "Don't use that word for yourself, please."

"Well it's true," Tony muttered petulantly, but then Steve was kissing him again, so he found himself sighing, "Okay."

Steve carefully eased the magazine from Tony's hand, pulling him into a deep kiss that had him mewling. If he could get him distracted, he would put off gloating until the next day, and by then he wouldn't get such a cackle out of it.

"Steve," Thor boomed, bursting into the room, and Steve instinctively grabbed Tony and threw him off the couch, standing up to get between him and the door.

"...Thor," Steve said when he realized it was him. He considered leaping behind Thor instead, because Tony might stab him for throwing him on the floor.

"I have been delegated with the unfortunate task of informing Tony that you have been unfaithful," Thor continued, looking deeply disappointed in him. "Clint, Natasha, and I saw you pulling Iron Man into your bedroom with you."

"Oh, God damn it," Steve sighed as Tony went from glaring at him to howling with laughter. He even pointed at him.

"...I sense I have been made a fool of," Thor said slowly, narrowing his eyes.

"Since Natasha was involved, yes, you were," Steve said, because Natasha knew their 'secret' identities. He'd always known she was a shit-stirrer though.

[semi-sketchy]

As for the OC thing, I don't have an inherent problem with them existing (I mean, it's not like I don't have my own OC...), and I can even understand being mindful of wanting them to fully be their own person, as opposed to *just* something that Sonic influences. But of course, IDW has handled them very poorly, with most of them either being just plain shit (like Surge), or the ones who could have been great being ruined to the point of fatigue (like Tangle).

I got my own OCs, too. They're a lot of fun! I will finish their refs one day I just keep drawing dogs instead

I think Sonic as a series is very open to new characters. Unlike something that follows a completely linear story/timeline (like Xenoblade), it's incredibly easy to add someone new to the cast since Sonic is always traveling, looking for the next adventure and meeting new people. If a new character is introduced, it doesn't interrupt the overarching story since each one is relatively self-contained. You can hop in anywhere and that's something I love.

When you have a static character like Sonic who isn't going to have major development arcs, it makes sense to show how his positive attitude and heart of gold inspires others. The story isn't about following his personal growth; it's about how he touches the lives of others.

He helped give Tails confidence after he was bullied, he inspired Amy to become stronger so she could keep up with her hero, taught Blaze she didn't need to shoulder everything alone, showed Chip the world he never knew, and was there for Shahra when she was finally freed from her abusive boyfriend. It's not just Sonic either, this even extends to other characters, such as Amy reminding Shadow what he was created for.

I think that's actually a strong suit of the Sonic series and considering how large the cast is, I believe Sonic Team sees that, too. Which is why I'm missing it so bad in IDW.

Lots of the comic cast are just kinda there and that's okay, not everyone in the game cast is specially touched by Sonic, I mean the Babylon Rogues didn't exactly have a takeaway. Although, there hasn't really been anyone new that Sonic has had a personal impact on.

Tangle was a fighting adrenaline junkie already, Whisper opened up because of Tangle, Tails is just housing Belle and she finds closure on her own, Jewel is...I'll be honest I haven't quite figured that out yet, she really just exists.

Lanolin DOES get inspired to do more because of Sonic, but that's all off-screen and when she doubts herself, it's Tangle that picks her up — not Sonic. The closest I feel we've gotten to a character that Sonic has really affected is Surge and...yeah, she's her own bundle of problems.

I believe Surge and Kit were supposed to be Sonic's consequences — something to make him reflect on his mistakes and possibly take some responsibility for it, but it became condescending. It served for him to double-down on how he was right instead of acknowledging that his actions enabled their creation and continued to cause them pain.

I just saw projection. Surge spouting off about Sonic's holier-than-thou attitude, flinging the criticisms Flynn had gotten at Sonic and digging in his heels that he was right. (I know Stanley handled them after #51, although it appears the writing process is very much a collaborative one and she does try to mimic his style.)

There was nothing learned, nothing gained, no growth for anyone, the arc didn't matter, which is a problem the comic has suffered from before. I recognize it's a challenge with continuous stories, things happen because they're entertaining to read, but there really was no takeaway with any of it.

It's a shame because it'd be so easy to apply the obvious angle of getting close/succeeding in your goal doesn't fix the actual problem. The pain and anger doesn't go away, but now you don't have anywhere to direct it to. That's what I wanted to see with them, but of course, as Flynn said, this isn't something smarter.

[idololivine]

do you think there is anything that olivine wouldn't be into as a kink (consensual stuff, obviously)?

I think, given the nature of the game, the devs could write that he is or isn't into any kink and we'd just have to accept that as canon.

So while keeping in mind that anything I say could be disproven very quickly, my headcanon is that he's incredibly experimental and incredibly curious - there are very few things he wouldn't at least try once or twice before deciding it's not for him.

I think so far he's seemed pretty 'meh' on roleplay type stuff - I don't count any of the student-teacher stuff because Eiden and Olivine are actually student and teacher, so I'm referencing IF r5 here. tl;dr is that Eiden tries to go "oooo what if I were a fan grabbing you like this, what would you do" and Olivine is just kind of like, what are you talking about, please fuck me already. He overall doesn't seem super against it, but it also seems like it's not a turn on. Which I think makes sense, given that a major part of his story is about being true to himself and his desires, sexual or otherwise. He's alright with his partners engaging in roleplay, but he wants to be himself when he has sex. (This is the one I think would be the most likely to get disproven in the future.)

I also think - and this is where I have to say that I respect other headcanons - that Olivine really isn't much of a Dom. I think he could learn to act like one, especially since he has so much experience working as a community and faith leader, but I don't think being dominant would actually do anything for him. I think he could certainly guide more hesitant clan members (read: Edmond) but, in my mind, that's not the same thing as being a D/s Dom. That's just him leading the way in what is otherwise fairly vanilla sex.

I also think sex with strangers, group sex or otherwise, is complicated. I don't doubt he'd get off on it either way, but the difference is whether he gets off in a SSC way or if he gets off in a "this has undone his progress in therapy" way. I think it comes down to objectification; Olivine's trauma is very much about the ways in which he was non-sexually objectified, in that he was treated as an ideal that should have been perfect and not afforded the kindness for a person that isn't. If he gets objectified during sex as well - something that he has always experienced as a way to reclaim his right to have desires - that's going to reaaaaally fuck with him.

So like, a one-on-one fling where he and the other guy are strangers but respect each other would be fine. A gangbang where everyone is into the fantasy of fucking Father Olivine The Priest but don't care to actually get to know Olivine would mess with his head. Sucking dicks at the glory hole with Morvay would be fine because it's anonymous both ways; he's not being stared in the eye and objectified despite it. Eiden and him engaging in exhibitionism shenanigans in front of strangers (orgy/sex club kinda setting) would be fine with aftercare, because even though the voyeurs are objectifying him, Eiden isn't and he's the one actually fucking Olivine. It's complicated! It's mostly gut feeling for me on this one.

[leopardmuffinxo]

Hey, hope it's ok to send you an ask too!

First I wanna say you are SO insanely talented at character creation and making gifs, oml, whenever I see your OCs on my dash I'm like woow hello gorgeous! Love that they all have such cool stories too!

So here's my question, which of your OCs would get along, which wouldn't and if you could have one in your party as a companion, who would it be and what would their dynamic be?

Also, do you play them all simultaneously or finish one run and then start another?

Hope you'll have a great day!

slkjdflksjfklsdjf !!! Omg this legit made me tear up just a bit. Thank you so so much. You're too sweet! ♡ Asks are always welcome! I just sometimes take a second to respond lol.

Character creation has always been one of my favorite parts playing any game with a CC, and gif making is so relaxing for me when I don't feel like gaming, so that truly means a lot. ♡

Now for your questions. I'll stick to my BG3 OCs (that have current playthroughs going on), otherwise we'll be here forever lol. I've actually thought about this a lot in the past, so answering this on my blog is fun. Just be jabbing myself a bit, but I feel like I'm not the best at putting my thoughts together and I tend to ramble, so this may be a bit all over the place. Good ol' ADHD brain. Hopefully one day I'll have ALL of their backstories written in a way that makes sense lol.

Who would they would/would not get along with:

Raven: She's snarky, sarcastic, and flirty but also very closed off to deeper conversations from anyone she's not close to. (In her mind, sharing secrets to her gives someone a power over you, so she avoids things like that at all costs.) I like to compare her to Mazikeen from the show Lucifer, because they're incredibly similar with their personalities. For this reason, she would get a long with almost everyone listed, except for Ember or Talon. Her and Kyvoni would def get along the most, as they share similar humor (and pasts). Her and Iris have... physical history, so Iris is still quite hurt regarding it, so they're wouldn't be on the best of terms.

Ember: To those who don't know her, she comes off as very serious and stoic, with a very regal aura about her. Also the literal biggest bookworm. Her and Juniper are sisters, with Ember being the older one, so they get along as well as and bicker as sisters do. Raven and Kyvoni would get on her nerves with their constant snark, so she would avoid them. She, Iris, Velvet, and Khione would get along amazingly. She would def pick Khione's brain about all things magic and share their favorite books. (Khione also writes and reads smut, so I always thought about her introducing those things to Ember lol.) Ember and Talon... might just kill each other. Keep them apart.

Juniper: She's pretty much the opposite of her older sister. Very much go with the flow and completely fine with spontaneity, unlike Ember who prefers structure. While Ember loves her younger sister, they bicker a lot now that their older since Juniper took the warlock route, instead of learning magic the "old fashion way" like her sister. Her patron is a couatl, so it's not like her pact is evil, but Ember still isn't happy with the way she went about things. Her and Iris would be best friends in an instant. She'd def lock on to Khione as another older sister figure, due to her draconic sorcerer background. She's pretty indifferent about the others, although she might pick up some of Raven's lewd humor.

Iris: An absolute sweetheart of a bard. Natural flirt, of course. Who doesn't love a pretty purple tiefling? As mentioned above, she had a fling with Raven and fell hard. Raven didn't return her feelings, so there's some hard feelings on Iris' end. She would get a long great with everyone, and even get Talon to crack a smile every now and then. She loves to bring positivity to any situation, so it's hard for most people to dislike her, as hard as they might try. Her and Velvet would be best friends.

Kyvoni: He's pretty intimidating on the outside, which he prefers. It keeps most people out of his space and out of his business. He can be snarky, usually going off into asshole territory with some of his sarcasm. Ember and Juniper wouldn't dislike him, but probably wouldn't pursue a friendship with him. They're just too different in that aspect. Him and Raven get along great and have constant banter. They sometimes both have a very lewd sense of humor, which gets on the others nerves quite often lol. Him and Talon would be fine, and have a mutual respect for one another.

Talon: She's very prickly lol. She's pretty abrasive and blunt most of the time, even when it's not needed. She has tattoos over a lot of her body, mostly depicting snakes within them, so she looks intimidating to most people. (I'll figure out how to implement them in game one day.) Due to this, she doesn't get along with most of my other OCs at first, but would eventually warm up to Iris and Velvet, since they would go out of their way to get to know her softer side.

Khione: She's incredibly intelligent, and sweet... most of the time. Think Evie from The Mummy. She is a draconic sorcerer, so of course she's well versed in magic without trying, and specializes in ice magic, though she's not really much of a show-off. She prefers to let her mind impress people. As mentioned above, she's a bookworm and a writer, so her and Ember would get along great, especially after she helps mend her relationship with her sister. Khione can match Raven and Kyvoni when it comes to their wit, which will throw them both off at first, but they'll come to be good friends.

Velvet: She's very much a mix of sweet and spicy. She feels the spice is needed, as some people are put off by her being a half-drow, necromancer, and for her eyes which are black voids. (A side effect from a spell when she was younger and just getting into necromancy.) She would get a long with Talon, despite Talon's spiky nature. They have a lot in common with their backgrounds, so Velvet would be able to crack her shell. Iris constantly comments on how pretty she is, which blossoms their friendship. She would get a long fine with the rest of them, though they might not become as close as Talon and Iris.

If you have any questions about ones I maybe didn't mention together, feel free to ask!

Obviously I love all my bbys, but if I could have one in my party as a companion, it would be Kyvoni. He's an ex member of Zhentarim, and has a long, sordid past he would prefer to keep secret. He would def agree to anything that gets you paid or intimidation tactics at the beginning. He has a bit of a temper, and can be incredibly impulsive. He would be a tough nut to crack in opening up when it comes to his past or feelings about things, whether it be a friendship or romance path. A romance path would def have a scene were he intentionally pushes you away or tries to get you to hate him. He's dangerous, and already had someone close to him hurt because of it. He doesn't want to go through it again and has sworn off of matters of the heart. (Hoping to eventually dig deeper into what everyone would be like as a companion.)

I play all of them simultaneously, just depending on who's story I feel like playing at the time. Sometimes I play a certain character for days; other times, I switch characters multiple times within the hour. Just depends! I actually still haven't finished the game, but didn't really mind ending spoilers, so I have a good idea of who will do what. I'm currently working on act 3 with a lot of them.

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for the rambling lol. ♡

[misswoozi]

T'is I once more but with a different Lee Jihoon conundrum this time. I have weirdly fallen into the Woozi/Ailee rabbit hole because that ship is so interesting but mysterious to me. I can totally see the tension and I do feel like they've done something or at least gotten close to it. For the sake of the discourse, let's say that they have (I'm leaning towards it as it is tbh). I wanna hear your thoughts on how they hooked up in the first place and how they worked together. I can't figure out how their dynamic worked but I definitely see them fooling around. I think it was a fuck buddy thing where he probably learned a lot of things. I could see her being his first grown up relationship (though there were no romantic feelings involved from either side) and in a way his "entrance" into deeper sexual experiences. Him being into older girls totally makes sense to me, especially when he was younger because he could learn from them whereas now it truly doesn't matter to him. Their personalities mesh well and he hold a lot of respect for her. Being with her made him more confident and aware of how to be desirable. While she still saw him as a dongsaeng, it was always clear that it was in a different way than all the other. I think what drew her in is the fact that he is very mysterious by nature. Because he's so quiet and subdued, whenever he does anything remotely wild it comes across so much more intense because you don't expect it from him (e.g. his pool pics vs everyone else's pool pics). Also even as rookie he had a natural charisma and confidence in his abilities that you just don't see that often. That's what I have cooked up in my noggin. What are your two cents? How do you see their sexual dynamic working? xoxo

- 💃 anon

HELLO THERE, MY FRIEND.

I gotta say, this has always been a bit of a guilty pleasure ship for me. Admittedly, I don't know Ailee as well as I know some other lady idols but I've always found her dynamic with Woozi to be fascinating. He's a little shy, especially around girls and SUPER ESPECIALLY back when they would have met. But I think it was a very slow burn. They would have known each other for years before anything happened. She'd think he was so sexy when he performed, he'd think she was so hot without trying. For such a long time, they kept it professional and cordial and then one night, at a work function with alcohol, someone got bold and flirty and the other returned it tenfold.

They'd end up back at Ailee's place, drunk and impatient, and all those years of sexual tension would come to a head.

As for the spicy side of things... I don't see them being very kinky. They'd be intense and I see them both as having a lot of endurance (meaning they'd be a "fuck all night" couple) but not with any extreme kinks. She'd love riding him, he'd love fucking her tits, she'd go down on him a lot, he'd pull her hair. They'd fuck in the living room a lot, in the shower, in Woozi's studio, in her car. I don't think they'd be together all that long (think of it as more of a short but INTENSE fling) but they'd part with 0 hard feelings. They're still really friendly, still comfortable around each other. Every once in a while one of them will have a dirty dream about the other but otherwise, it's a all just a hazy, sexy memory.

[mayrarcjas]

Mayra x Zack

located in the Community Center kitchen.

Zack Astor

-he walks into the kitchen, looking to drop off some venison he and David just caught; as he walks in, he catches sight of Mayra- Hey, you know where they store the meat?

mayra.

-without looking up from her work station, mayra nodded toward the back of the kitchen- There's a big chest freezer in the back you could fit it in. -finally she looked up to see zack. from years of experience, mayra managed to keep her composure.-

Zack Astor

Alright. -makes his way into the back to deposit the meat into the freezer-

mayra.

-from her peripheral, mayra watched zack haul the meat toward the back to the freezer. quietly she moved the cleaver closer, just in case. she'd seen the damage he'd done to isaac - mayra wasn't sure if he was above putting hands on a woman as well.- Thanks for the catch. -her voice stayed firm with the same gratefulness she threw to david and jake whenever they'd bring back hunted game.-

Zack Astor

You're welcome. -he responds, closing the freezer before making his way out from the back; as he steps out, he directs his glance at her- By the way. Just remembering - did the council talk to you yet?

mayra.

-she knew it was coming; zack seemed like the kind of person to try to poke any wound or sensitive topic whenever he damn well pleased. like a mean girl from high school wanting to stir shit up for the hell of it.- They did. -mayra kept her words clipped with ike's words spinning in her head to not confront zack. but if he confronted her ... that might've been a loophole-

Zack Astor

Oh really. What did they say? Humor me, Mayra.

mayra.

-finally she looked up at him, her disgust for the man clearly written in her expression.- I don't think I will.

Zack Astor

Ah. -he grins slightly- Must suck for the real world to hit you, huh? When you've been nothing but spoiled by everyone.

mayra.

-she nods at him, a sarcastic smirk growing- Sure.

Zack Astor

-he considers her for a moment before chuckling- Good. Now, I got places to be, princess. Tell Ike hi for me, will you?

mayra.

-she grips onto the cleaver handle, feeling her rage shake within her core.- On that note. -she threw the cleaver toward him, purposefully missing him but it piercing the dry wall.- If you have an issue with me, come take it up with me. Ike didn't deserve what you did to him. -she pulled the drawer open, pulling out another knife in case zack thought to get near her-

Zack Astor

he turns around, stepping to the side instinctively as she flings her knife; he raises an eyebrow at her- Eh, debatable. And I doubt I would've gotten through that thick skull of yours myself. -he grins- You don't seem like the type who understand that she's being a fucking dumbass.

mayra.

That goes to know you don't know shit.

Zack Astor

Oh really? Well I'll be damned. Guess sometimes you get the wrong impression of people. -he puts his hands in his pockets as he regards her- Do you regret any of it?

mayra.

Of course I do. -she answered truthfully, keeping the knife handle tightly fisted- I know I put this place at risk all because I was selfish. And I'll spend the rest of my time here trying to make it up to everyone whether they know about it or not. But hurting others because of my selfishness doesn't make sense. -mayra sighed- I know the answer to this already, but I'll ask anyway: If you have an issue with me, take it up with me, okay? Don't go beating on others to prove a point or whatever reason you had for beating the shit out of Ike. Despite whatever opinion you have of me, I'm not a porcelain doll. I can take it.

Zack Astor

Are you sure? Because when I was talking to Ike, he couldn't even be sure whether you were sorry or not. -he stares at her- Oh princess, don't get me wrong. I'd beat the fucking shit out of you if I thought it'd get me anywhere. This wasn't an act of consideration or something. I truly didn't think anything would get through to you. Considering how you didn't even have the damn balls to own up to anything. And Ike just took it, too. Whatever's going on between you - sounds like it fucking sucks.

mayra.

We didn't exactly have a lot of time to talk about it. -mayra scoffed, thankful she listened to her instincts in grabbing another knife- For the record, Ike told me to keep quiet. And maybe I was stupid to listen to him, but I did. But now the people who need to know, know. Now, can we move on from this? Or this something that you'll hold over my head? I promise I don't need a chaperone ... unless you're volunteering.

Zack Astor

That was pretty fucking stupid. -he scoffs- Of course he's gonna tell you to keep quiet. And that just so happens to be the one time you listen to him, isn't it? When not listening would have negative consequences for you. -he grins, tilting his head- He's babying you. They all are. I'm the one who's not.

mayra.

Fine. I'm spoiled - that's okay for you to think that. Just be the one to not baby me, to me, and leave others out of it.

Zack Astor

I'll do what I damn want. -he shrugs- If you regret it, work for it.

mayra.

Yeah, we both know that. -mayra rolled her eyes, letting out a soft breath. she said her peace and quickly grew tired of the conversation.- I'm going to continue preparing the town's soup. If you want to take first shift of chaperoning, you're welcome to help me. If not, you know where the door is. -she used the knife to point towards it.- Good talk.

Zack Astor

Watch your damn mouth. -he makes his way over to the cupboard to take out some peanut butter- Last time I checked, this wasn't your kitchen. So I'll take my time and make myself some food. Good talk.

mayra.

-mayra bit down the urge to say 'make me', knowing it would probably prompt something she promised to not get into. watching him grab the peanut better, she used the knife to point to the opposite counter.- There's freshly made bread over there if you want something with that. -there was no way mayra was going to have her back to zack and instead moved to the other side of her workstation, leaving the long table to separate them. she carefully placed the knife next to her, keeping it at an easy reach.-

Zack Astor

-he notices her switch in position and chuckles to himself before he casts a glance at the bread- Who made that?

mayra.

Ember and I had hands in it. Making bread is a bit of a process. -mayra ping ponged her gaze between zack and the potatoes she began to cut-

Zack Astor

-he looks at the bread before shaking his head- Nah. I don't trust your ass enough to not do something dumb and try to poison me. -he puts the peanut butter back and instead pulls out a can of canned goulash- You're into that witch crap, seems on brand for you.

mayra.

-she smiles at his comment, taking slight pride, and snickers- Please. -she stopped her movements, giving him a pointed looked- If I wanted to poison you, you’d be poisoned already. Something so obvious like me pointing out bread is a little on the nose. -she resumes her potato cutting-

Zack Astor

-he huffs, slightly amused- Yeah right. Look, when Nicki tells me that I'd be dead if she wanted, I'm gonna take that seriously. When you do it? Not so much. You probably haven't even killed a walker in your lifetime.

mayra.

You can believe whatever picture you’ve painted of me. I’m not going to stop you.

Zack Astor

I will, thank you. I usually found I'm a damn good judge of character. -he opens up the can, takes a spoon and begins eating his meal, deliberately taking his time-

mayra.

Mmm -she said nothing else but made a ‘sure, jan’ face- So, I take it you were military? Marines, maybe?

Zack Astor

I was. -despite his delibaretly slow pace, he's already halfway through the can; He looks up and narrows his eyes- Why do you wanna know?

mayra.

-she kept her gaze on the task at hand and shrugged- Genuinely curious. I heard you and Ermano go back. Is that true?

Zack Astor

We served together. -he seems a little bit weary of her questions- Until he joined the Black Ops at least.

mayra.

-her brows rose, not knowing that tid-bit of information about ermano- Black Ops? That's intense. -mayra placed her knife down, gathering the cut pieces of potato and placed them in the large metal bowl next to her- You didn't want to go with him or what that too much for you?

Zack Astor

-his eyes narrow and he puts the can down; he pushes himself away from the counter taking a few steps towards Mayra- What did I say about watching your mouth?

mayra.

-quickly the woman picked up the knife, holding it in front of herself- And people say I'm touchy. It was a simple question, there's no need to be defensive when I meant no malice. -mayra watched him carefully, narrowing her eyes at him- Why is that? Why are you so quick to be defensive? Again, a simple question meant with no ill intent behind it.

Zack Astor

-he grins, slightly amused- You're the who got the knife, princess. -he tilts his head slightly, returning her gaze, unwavering- You ain't my people, princess. Don't talk to me like you are. Now, can I get some damn salt for my food from the cupboard behind you, or are you gonna stab me for that?

mayra.

The knife is insurance. I saw Ike. You, yourself, said you had no problem beating my ass. If that happens, I'd like to at least go down swinging. -she lowered the knife and turned to get the salt from the cupboard. she placed it on the table between them- And I'm not talking to you like you're 'my people', I'm talking to you like you're a person.

Zack Astor

Is that how you talk to Ike too? -he chuckles- Damn, you must be the best fuck in the world or something, because I have no idea why else he's putting up with you.

mayra.

Not at all. -she shook her head, pinching her tongue between her teeth- Guess we'll never figure it out, huh. -mayra leans back against the counter behind her, arms folding across her chest and, yes, still holding the knife.-

Zack Astor

-he shrugs- Guess we won't. -he grabs the salt and returns to his food- If you wanna find out more about Ermano, go talk to him. Not me.

mayra.

I wasn't asking about Ermano, I was asking about you. -she stays where she was- Question was, why didn't you transfer with him to Black Ops? And then I asked if they were too much for you which prompted you to threaten me. -mayra shrugs- If you didn't want to answer, you could've just said so. -pushing off from the counter, mayra moved to the bowl, putting the remainder of the cut potatoes in it-

Zack Astor

No reason for you to know anything more, princess. And even less reason for me to tell you any more. -he goes back to eating, seemingly unbothered-

mayra.

So is this really you chaperoning me?

Zack Astor

Nope. Just eating my food. -he finishes it and leaves the empty can on the counter, alongside his dirty silverware as he makes for the exit- Good talk, princess. Seems like you haven't changed a bit. I was really hoping you might.

mayra.-she scoffed, following behind Zack, keeping a distance- You're lying to yourself if you think you're a good judge of character. But you do you, think whatever you wanna think. Have the day you deserve. -she flashed one more smile before slamming the door in his face, quickly locking it- Fucking dickhead.

@zackastor

[love-advice-on-call]

Hi! This is like my first time asking any advice so sorry if this is a bit tmi or a weird ask 😬 So for religious reasons I'm not doing the do until after marriage. The problem here is, all the guys wont really date you unless your down to do smth with them ( which i'm not!!! ). I know i shouldn't really rush into a relationship cause i'm literally only 15 and their overrated and romanticized by the media anyways, but i'm an absolute hopeless romantic 😔 I just really wanna have a romance book typa relationship. I wanna send gm and gn texts w/ someone and be on ft with them for hours just talking or doing nothing and just basically have someone to obsess and rant over to your friends. But I don't want to have the superficial relationships that my friends/others have in my school.

Like majority of the guys in my school are racist, colourist, homophobic and are just mean people in general. I would NEVER wanna date a person who acts like that, let alone be friends with them! But it seems like everyone doesn't really care in a sense because they're cute/popular. I feel like the odd one out because everyone has been in a relationship or had a crush or like a fling and I haven't. I'm always left out of these conversations and just feel like i'm missing out on the high school experience! ( i'm literally finishing grade 10 in 2 weeks and haven't even talked to a guy romantically )

In a sense i feel like because of that ( and since i went to an all girls private school from gr 3-8 ) I tend to romanticize the smallest things a guy does or says to me which is such a big problem!!1! Like you crack a joke with me? In love. Pick me first in gym when making teams? Brb i'm writing our wedding invites. Even my cousins around my age were shocked when I said I haven't talked to a guy romantically before. Its even worse that I'm so shy around guys and just overly insecure considering I NEVER had any boys in my school. Everyone always calls me a grandma already because of the way I talk and act and now i'm really starting to believe it.

My parents are pretty strict about this kinda thing and my sisters are all older then me/are naturally extremely pretty so they didn't have to worry about being unlikeable ( people had crushes on them in high school AND they were in relationships ). I just feel really lost and unlikeable :(

Hi,

So I think waiting till marriage is a totally fine thing and waiting in general would be a good decision for a lot of folks, not just you. I didn't wait till marriage, but I did wait a long time for the right person and in my personal experience it made it significantly more fulfilling when comparing it to how almost all of friends lost their virginity during teen years. I really wish that more folks had the opportunity to wait.

Wanting to be in a relationship this badly I think is something MANY people your age feel and I think it is totally normal. This feeling you're feeling, doesn't really ever go away I think. It may come and go in intensity, but if you at this age feel like wanting to be in a relationship, then you can expect to buckle in for a lifetime of this being at the back of your thoughts.

"Like majority of the guys in my school are racist, colourist, homophobic and are just mean people in general." Unfortunately, this is just "Welcome to Teen Boyhood", most of these guys (God willing) will grow out of it, though I've met a lot of men who never emotionally/mentally went past age 16.

There are some dudes who are not terrible people at ~15, but usually those guys do not attract girls easily. Less popular guys definitely, but solid dudes at heart. It could be that maybe you are also just hanging around the wrong crowd? I doubt your whole school is like this and you should be able to find someone your age who shares your values. They wont be the perfect guy, no one is at 15 or really any age, but they'll be better. I know it is SUPER incredibly indescribably tough to shift social circles and meet people within your own school, but I suggest that you try to simply make more guy friends in general and look for the sweet spot of dudes that are decent guys. It will also help with your anxiety around boys and may help smooth you out so you're used to talking to them. Once you find a guy you like, then you can work on building up the courage to ask him out.

Maybe join clubs at school, look into after school programs (tutoring, co-ed sports, etc.), or check with your friends to see if they know anyone they can introduce you to. When I was in high school, some people would also just date guys from other schools because they weren't down with the ones who were immediately around them. They usually met through mutual friends or at non-school events.

Also, you telling me that you don't want to date guys because they want you to be down for something while your sisters were in relationships at your age. I mean, I feel like put two and two together. It's not JUST because your sisters are pretty 👀. But gossip aside, your parents can't be that strict if they let your sisters see guys or if your sisters found ways around not telling them. So I wouldn't worry about them too much. As a former teen, there are always ways to getting around parents.

All in all, I think it sounds like you do have a good head on your shoulders and you know what you want. Being a grandma isn't always a bad thing, it just means that you don't take BS from other people and you know what will make you happy. That's something that takes almost a life time of development and you've got that now at 15 so I've got confidence in you that you're going to be alright.

As a side note: I do appreciate you listing out how you romanticize the situations. It gave me a laugh and this is definitely one of my favorite asks I've gotten in a while. Talking to people about navigating teen dating is like one of the funnest topics period.

June 13, 2023

[lauvra]

Lost/Found Notes Pt. 8. Cringe period. 6/3/21 What do I care for dignity now, in your eyes I never had any. Who cares for the last word, they never seem to mean a thing to you, à la Depeche Mode, meaningless and forgettable. But I would've followed you anywhere, thought we'd go everywhere. You said everyone dies alone, might as well do life alone. Love can be fatal. 7/3/21 The mortality of others is none of my business. 10/3/21 Some sounds extend the space around you, some enclose you, some drain you while others fill you the way a lover may. 10/3/21 A tram stop on Inkerman and Chapel. A fluorescent man at Caltex stacks crates of soft drink onto the truck. He slips a tailor between his lips and I bore of him. I notice the man beside me in brown corduroy slacks, grey silk socks and black soft leather loafers. He stares at me longer than etiquette deems polite and I wonder what's on his mind. Does he notice the irony of my Sea Shepherd shirt and lit cigarette? He slips his hand into his blue windbreaker with a subtle gesture and begins to fling grains of rice by the handful onto the pavement surrounding his feet. Six Pigeons immediately pick at them with a desperation I recognise and I watch, wondering whether they'll really explode. 11/3/21 I make myself so much sadder than necessary, can cry so easily. When I consider that someone did love me, and handled me so carelessly I break into even smaller parts but when I tell myself it was some sick game from the beginning I can move mechanically forward. Maybe you need to break everything up to observe it thoroughly enough. Maybe if you understand the function, you'll figure out the bugs. 31/3/21 You weren't someone to love, you were someone to answer to. 1/04/21 Don't you understand? It's always now. It's never not now. 9/4/21 Liz Phair said in an interview it's hard to find someone who understands her lifestyle, history and art. Women like us aren't for the faint of heart. 9/4/21 Everyday I wake up and it doesn't immediately make sense. I'm heavy like an ocean floor. I'd sit in the sun for an eternity listening to the chaotic ramblings of any honest human being. I'm listening to Joe Cocker's 'Little Help From My Friends' he's singing me sunny. 10/4/21 If you see me around, you shouldn't come close. I wont rest easy 'til I've taken some skin home. 12/4/21 I had all these feelings words couldn't express, so I used colour to fill the space I used to crowd with them. I had this morbid feeling I'd never love again. That I wouldn't get the opportunity because I'd never move on or become a whole enough person to love somebody in a humane way. Pushed closer to the edge, I'd peer over that merciful abyss with a compulsion louder than all hearts beating within earshot, including my own. Who has time for love on their deathbed, and what is more important than love on your deathbed? I just feared I'd never love again. Is that okay? My ex expressed these fears I'd move on easy and privately, I thought I would too. But I woke up yesterday from crying in my sleep and sometimes my mind is so full of static I envision myself wading into the ocean screaming until I get too deep to find air. Generally if I feel rejected, I become so cold I shock myself, but I am a romantic person and I've always been this way, I wrote my first love letter in first grade.

[free-angelz]

not to be rude to me but the crazy is soo confirmed!

Last night while watching the ultimatum, I cried because I love Xander and Yoly's love, I love their relationship and their dynamics and I truly hope they choose each other in the end because they deserve each other. It's an easy, calm, supportive, and action oriented love that I think everyone could benefit from. It's something I want to do. And of course, I'm not exactly getting it from the physical relationship that I have with A. And I said something to myself that was typical in my idealistic, scared to love another man moments. I said "I don't want to give my heart to someone who doesn't give a f-ck about me". And then it clicked. I dont give a f-ck about him either. I'm over here applying all these things onto him, my fears, my faults, and even blame to a certain extent, yet I am quite literally doing the same thing back to him. I am giving back the same energy, even if I do yearn for more from this situation.

We don't speak. We don't talk. We don't check in, or say hello. We don't really have any true substance, outside of a late night passion that ignites me from within. We have nothing but a physical connection. We haven't exactly gotten to know each other yet either. I don't even know his favorite color. So why am I attributing all this fucking pressure onto myself, to him unknowingly, it makes ZERO sense to me! It literally is crazy to be crying and feeling so down about him supposedly not caring, when we are literally showing each other the exact same energy, and if we want it to change, if I want it to change. I will have to speak up eventually, or this will fizzle out. I mean he most likely knows what this is, right? That we're just having sex, we're connecting physically, and I'm sure we will keep doing it from time to time. But I can't just expect him to open up to me, if I can't lead the way in some aspects. I think I'm just frustrated because I'm left to think about all these open ended things, possibilities, chances and dreams. It's a lot when you don't know where the other person stands. But it's also like, if I ask, I don't want him to run away. But I can't go into it expecting him not to at the same time? But that's just more open ended questions, I guess I want him to take the lead, but if he never does, then I will have to cut off the connection that we share.

Also maybe it's just me being nuts, but is it too early to ask what we are doing? Like oh my god I swear heterosexuality comes with all these stupid rules and cycles and unhealthy patterns when it doesn't have to be like that. I literally can and should be allowed to openly communicate with someone I'm sleeping with like hello? Why not? Why is it that within heterosexual dynamics it always feels like it's gotta be this grating, difficult, pry it apart with my fingernails kind of experience. And it really feels like I'm projecting this onto myself too and that's not fair at all. We haven't evolved past sleeping with each other, so it's kinda like why not enjoy this for what it is, instead of making it into something that it's not.

I want love. I deserve romance, I will not settle for less. I am affirming to myself that I deserve and know exactly what I want, and personally, I'm not sure it'll go anywhere, but S seems to be the best prospect! I love our dynamic because it is easy, because we understand each other, because we are good and equal and fair to one another.

Me and A really are just a fling, and I'm idealizing and romanticizing it all because it feels like that's what I'm supposed to do, because he's a boy, and I get reduced down to the girl in the song.

I feel like I'm mad at myself over this in a way, because it is something that I struggle with a lot mentally, and it just doesn't seem to work in the end because I'm so overwhelmed. So it's like why put all this mental energy and thought and self doubt into something that isn't even tangible? I am giving and receiving the same energy that he has given me. He has not shown me anything else, I haven't shown him anything else either, and I do not have to give any more of myself especially if that's not being given back. Do I hope that we do develop more? Sure. I just think that I shouldn't be putting all this pressure on us. Things can develop naturally if they're meant to.

[masonscig]

i know i’ve posted this a lot before, but i actually think my time in this fandom and on this blog is pretty much done :/ (rambling and feelings under the cut ew)

i’ve finally gotten to a place where i should be happy and i’m anything but :/ i have a job at a place that’s good for me on paper, i finally moved in with my boyfriend, i am financially comfortable and physically in a place where i feel safer and more comfortable. i’ve had nearly two months to adjust and i don’t feel any less depressed than i’ve been for literal years (and it’s my fault)

i feel like i’m lost and i’m stuck and the only things that distracted me are now like. nothing to me anymore and that’s so stupid to act like a literal tumblr account is a burden but at this point? it really feels like it lmao. i feel like i don’t fit in here and i shouldn’t be here and the friendships i’ve made might mean more to me than they actually are (and this is no one’s fault but my own). i miss writing and being creative and engaging with people and making friends and feeling good about myself i guess

it’s so frustrating because i spent the past two ish years throwing myself into choices, litg, and interactive fiction fandom to combat irl shit (which, surprise, i’ve never recovered from) and that same place is a place i dread logging onto because i don’t feel like i’m a part of anything anymore

idk! this shouldn’t be this long but i don’t have a therapist and i’m tired of being exhausted and unhappy all the time. (so instead of being a normal person who’d.. idk.. reengage with things and try to make friends and create again, i’m just leaving)

i also shouldn’t be upset that people are moving on and having fun without me while i’m struggling, bc again that’s completely on me, but i am! and i don’t think i should make it everyone’s problem so i’m just gonna go for now

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 5

Request: Yes or No

TW: Pietro dying imsosorry

I'm still unsure about love interests but I'm leaning towards Wanda and y/n having a brief romance and then Wanda goes to Vis and y/n goes to Bucky or someone else.

~

Sokovia was chilly but not too cold. It reminded you of the orphanage. Depressing, quiet, and not much interaction between the people around. You weren't surprised. War and bombs weren't something to celebrate. You directed people down the street with Clint, seeing some red energy moving around the streets as Wanda got to the civilians inside their homes. People slowly drove out of the city.

"All these people.. What happens if the city's destroyed?" You asked, frowning as you watched the mothers urge their children to walk faster and the elderly couples help each other.

"Well.. They'll find new homes somewhere else." Clint replied. You turned your head, making eye contact with Wanda. She frowned at Clint's words but stayed silent, looking away from you. You turned your head, hearing shouting and screaming.

"Shit." You whispered, feeling the roots wrap around your fingers. Wanda made a shield with her powers, buying time for the civilians around her to run. She grunted, falling to the ground. You quickly helped her up, hearing her whisper a thanks. You raised your hand, making the root shoot out and impale the robots head. You made a fist so the roots wrapped around the head, swinging your arm to the side and flinging it towards more robots. Wanda gave you a nod before walking away, helping some civilians up. You turned when an arrow whizzed past your head, breathing out a soft sigh.

"Unnecessary."

"It looked cool." Clint grinned. You rolled your eyes, approaching him. You felt the ground begin to tremble under your feet, the screaming getting louder.

"Clint?" You heard Ultron speaking through the robots.

"Stay next to me." Clint said, raising his bow and shooting an arrow at a robot. You nodded, raising your arms. The roots shoot out, wrapping around the neck of a robot and squeezing until the head shot up, making the body go limp. Wanda shot down one robot though you could see the fear in her eyes. She didn't know what to do and it was obvious. You looked up, seeing more robots flying in. Clint suddenly wrapped an arm around your waist, doing the same to Wanda and jumping through a window to avoid an explosion. He quickly sat up while Wanda whimpered and whispered panicked things under her breath.

"Wanda? Wanda, hey." You crawled towards her, placing a gentle hand on her arm. Clint frowned, scooting closer.

"You alright?" He asked gently.

"This is all our fault." She whimpered, hands trembling as she took in sharp breaths.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Clint called, watching her look at him with teary eyes.

"It's your fault, it's our fault, who cares? Are you up to this?" Clint asked, staring at her. Wanda didn't respond, still taking in quick breaths as her gaze flickered around.

"Look, I just need to know cause the city is flying."

"If you can't do this, you can leave with the civilians." You told her, gently rubbing her back.

"Look, the city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots, I have a bow and arrow, and (Y/N) is Mother Nature. None of this makes sense." Clint told her, grunting when the wall was shot at. Wanda flinched, leaning more against you.

"I can't do my job and babysit more than two people, okay?" You blinked at Clint's words, scoffing softly.

"It doesn't matter what you did or who you were. If you can't, stay here and I'll get your brother to come find you but if you step out that door, you are an Avenger." Clint said. Wanda stayed silent, thinking about his words. Clint stood up, getting three arrows ready.

"You coming?" Clint cocked a brow, kicking the doors open and stepping out. Wanda watched him go before meeting your eyes.

"You can do this, Wanda. Where's the girl who was able to put half of the Avengers out of commission?" You gave her a small smile. Wanda swallowed, hands clenching and unclenching.

"I-I'm scared."

"I am too. So is Clint, Cap, and everybody else. You know who's even more terrified? The civilians running around without a clue about what's going on. We have to ignore our fear in order to protect them because they're defenseless." You placed your hands on her shoulders, feeling her trembling. You gave her shoulders a squeeze. You noticed a small flower in the cracks of the floor, moving your hand over it and watching it grow. You plucked it from the ground, placing it into her shakey hands.

"You'll be okay." You stood up, feeling her gaze on you as you exited the building. You swallowed, hands tingling as you searching for roots underground. You found some, raising your hand and watching them shoot up from the ground, wrapping around some of the robots flying. They wrapped around them, making them explode. You turned your head, seeing Wanda outside. She took out three robots at once, panting softly and turning towards you and Clint. You relaxed, the ground shaking gently as the roots from underground retreated back down.

"We're all clear." Clint said.

"We are not clear. We are not clear at all." Steve responded, voice strained. You hummed, chuckling softly. A flash ran by, picking up Wanda.

"Keep up, old man!" Pietro called as he ran. Clint clenched his jaw, raising an arrow.

"Nobody would know." He muttered, thinking it over as you laughed softly. A gust of wind went by again before you were picked up as well.

"Oh, fuck me-" You held onto Pietro, eyes shutting as you felt the wind hitting you. You could hear Clint mumbling things about Pietro, calling him a quick little bastard. Pietro set you down besides Wanda, a hand on your back as you stumbled a bit.

"I forgot I had a bagel for breakfast." You whispered, finding your footing.

"You'll get used to it." Wanda said with a chuckle. She walked forward, hands glowing red.

"No, no, I don't think I will." You replied, raising your hand at a robot. You blinked when the ground suddenly opened beneath the robot, causing it to fall in.

"That's new." You mumbled, surprised as you closed your fist, the ground returning to normal. Pietro grunted when he was grazed by a bullet. The robots stopped momentarily so you and the twins quickly rounded up as many civilians as possible. You heard Natasha and Steve talking before hearing Fury. You spotted the aircrafts, letting out a sigh of relief. You directed the people to the aircrafts, watching them get on.

"Avengers, time to work for a living." Tony called. You walked back to the center, seeing the others. You turned to face Ultron, adrenaline pumping. You were definitely gonna take a nap once the mission was over.

"Is that the best you can do?!" Thor shouted at Ultron. In response, Ultron raised his arm, hundreds of robots running and flying in. Your shoulders slumped as Steve looked at Thor.

"You had to ask." He muttered.

"This is the best I can do." Ultron replied, smugness in his voice.

"This is exactly what I wanted. All of you against all of me. How could you possibly hope to stop me?" Ultron asked.

"Well.. Like the old man said.. Together?" Tony answered, hearing Hulk let out a cry. The center was quickly swarmed, robots coming in from above and the sides. You raised your arms and pulled apart, making the ground open.

"(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?"

"No clue but it's new and it's working." You glanced at Clint, bringing your arms together and crushing the robots stuck in the ground. Tony, Tony Jr, and Thor took care of Ultron while you and the others continued to fight. The robots began to retreat, giving you time to breath.

"You guys get to the boats. The air's getting thin." Steve ordered, looking over everyone.

"What about the core?" Clint asked.

"I'll protect it." Wanda announced, looking at Clint. "It's my job."

"Stay safe." You told her, brows raising. Wanda nodded.

"I will, Mother Nature." Wanda smiled softly. You returned the smile, following Natasha and Clint to a convertible. You got in the back, listening to Clint talk about some new plans for the home as he drove.

"Laura deserves a vacation." You called, staring up at the sky.

"That's what I've been saying! We need to go on an all girl vacation." Natasha said, earning a chuckle from you. You got out of the car, hearing Hulk grunting. Natasha quickly got out to go find him. You noticed a woman calling out for someone, frowning. Clint looked around for any movement, noticing a child stuck in the rubble.

"Clint-"

"Stay here." He instructed, getting off the boat and jogging towards the kid. You frowned, watching him. You heard gunshots, looking up and watching an aircraft shoot down, aiming right at Clint.

"Clint!" You screamed, getting off the boat and running towards him. You came to a slow stop, watching as Pietro's body fell over. You slowly walked towards him, getting down beside him. You pressed two trembling fingers to his neck but found no pulse. You looked at Clint through watery eyes, shaking your head. You swallowed, remembering the time when you were a child and healed an injured cat. You hovered your hand over one of the bullet holes, watching the root reach down but nothing happened. You frowned, feeling tears slip down your cheeks. You hadn't known him for long but you were looking forward to having a new friend.

"I'm sorry." You heard Steve's voice gently say, resting a hand on your shoulder. You sniffled and stood, watching Steve pick up his body and take him to a boat. You followed, mind blank. You knew death came with the job but Pietro had years ahead of him. Clint reunited the child with his mother, grunting as he took a seat. You did the same, staring down at his body. Clint lied down, resting his head on your lap.

"You don't have to become an Avenger, (Y/N)." Clint grunted softly. You swallowed, shaking your head.

"I'm just gonna need a therapist." You whispered, hearing Clint laugh softly.

~~~~~~~~~~

You smiled, watching the video of Nathaniel playing with the toy you bought him. Wanda looked over your shoulder, cooing softly.

"Is that him?" She asked softly. You nodded, chuckling.

"Nathaniel Pietro Barton." You cooed, watching him. Wanda hummed, resting her head on your shoulder.

"Hey, love birds." Sam greeted with a teasing grin. You looked up at him, rolling your eyes as Wanda shook her head.

"We aren't a couple." She reminded him.

"Mhm." Sam nodded slowly, sounding and looking completely unconvinced. You turned off your phone, looking over his outfit. Sam noticed, hands going to his hips.

"Looks dope, right?" He grinned, nodding to himself.

"So.. All you do is fly?" You asked, watching his face drop when Rhodes cracked up.

"Yes, I fly. That's.. That's cool, right?" Sam asked, looking at the others. You shrugged, giving him a playful smile.

"I mean.. He can fly, Vision can fly, Wanda can fly..." You trailed off, chuckling at his scowl. You stood up, nodding.

"Yes, it is cool that you can fly, Wilson. I'm just messing with you." You said, putting your phone away. You turned your head when Steve and Natasha entered.

"Avengers, assemble!" He called, code words for get in line. You walked forward, standing beside Vision and Wanda. Natasha met your gaze, smiling.

"Did you see the video?" She mouthed, clearly excited. You gave her a small nod, smiling softly.

"(Y/N), Dr. Cho wants to talk with you after training. She has some theories she wants to run by you." Steve told you, heading down the steps and standing in front of the line. You nodded. After Hulk disappeared, Dr. Cho had approached you to finally run those tests. You still had no idea what triggered your new ability to open up the ground and it was something you had to work on during training.

"Let's begin." Natasha crossed her arms, a grin on her lips. You swallowed, watching her. You shared a glance with Wanda, being sent off to different spots in order to show off everyone's abilities.

"Let's start with you, Barton." Steve said, standing infront of you as Natasha placed down a pot with dirt. You lifted your hands, humming softly and taking a step back. Steve and Natasha hesitantly did the same. You made a fist, watching the bonsai tree burst up, overgrown and roots spilling over the pot. The roots moved, movements following your fingers.

"How are you doing with your other abilities?" Steve asked, watching the roots. You swallowed, looking at him.

"Still working on it." You answered, lowering your hands. The tree retracted back into the pot. Laura had mentioned that if there was more to your powers, you could end up being the most powerful person on Earth. You just needed to figure out how to control them at any given moment. The two moved onto Wanda. You watched her show off her abilities. Pietro would be proud of her. You thought about him a lot. The way he sacrificed himself for Clint and the child. How broken Wanda looked.

You turned your head as the boat landed, watching people get out and be tended to by medics. Clint got up, leaving the boat as well with soft grunts. You spotted Wanda, relieved she had gotten to safety before the rock exploded. Wanda silently got on the boat, expression blank until she saw her brother. Her brows slightly raised, eyes watering as she gently got on the ground beside him. Soft sobs left her as she raised his head and placed it on her lap, gently running her fingers through his hair. Tears ran down her dirt and ash covered cheeks. You sat down beside her, wrapping gentle arms around her and pulling her against your body. Her sobs turned into cries. She cried until she couldn't anymore, letting them take away the body. She stared blankly at the spot where his body had lied, sniffling.

"I'm alone." She whispered. "I have no one."

"You have me."

[anarmorofwords]

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

[the-tealeaf-brothers]

Random positivity post but it's just the random people that live on my dashboard and I feel funny good vibes toward. I have hardly talked to any of you all but like??? You just give me stellar vibes living on my dashboard so I have to say SOMETHING.

@lavender-tea-fling I don't know what to say here really, just looking at your username and profile picture makes me feel joy. Maybe it's the Molly appreciation. But!!! Ive still been settling back into the Tumblr community and in an odd way on my own I've seen you as a strange representation of how just the follower count doesn't matter here. Same with everyone else, but, you just have the vibes more in particular. Synesthesia colors, a light gold with a silver tone near the bottom, with a purple square in the center of it all! You're literally just vibing but my sensors went "mm color, vibes are met"

@casukaga YOU. Okay so funny story, I found you while looking for someone else's username, but I had to STOP and GAWK at just how pretty your art was seeing it the first time in a while. I'm really excited to see your upcoming animation :)) I'm hoping to host an animation meme collab of the M9 at some point actually, so it's inspiring to see other CR animators. Anyway, synesthesia colors!! I haven't gotten a good read, but, a straight black and white with those fancy black borders with the flowers and all.

@circuslollipop You!! You're the one who inspired me to make this post indirectly!!! I just wanted to let you know the colors of your style are amazing, and while I'm not much of one for angular shapes, a lot of us like it anyway. You have an extremely unique style that's recognizable anywhere, and that's hard to achieve! I didn't start looking at your account until you made the little tag comment on my post on the music, in which I realized that we were both animators and went to Vibe Check you a little more. Absolutely stellar vibes. For synesthesia colors, you're very bright. I'm seeing a lot of spring greens with bright pinks and purples, almost like ferns in a sense.

@valdrift I haven't gotten to express our Adoration for your work enough, man. Like I said, your art is very comforting to look at, and your style is just phenomenal. Even if you're not too into CR, I will not be dropping my follow just because the vibes are!! Rancid but like in the cool positive way!!! As for you colors with my synesthesia, I see you as an odd lilac with white near the top, maybe with a bit of a paper texture to it. Also. I'm 500% commissioning you when they're open so get READY.

@mollymauk-is-fine Your blog name is stupidly funny, I have no extra comments, I just need you included for the sheer batshittery. Chaos vibes, I appreciate your existence. Synth colors ain't even colors anymore, it's just a really weirdly ornate carnival. It's like if you took The White House and then made it a circus tent somehow.

Anyways, everyone who read this post, check these people out! And feel free to ask for a vibe check yourself if you really want, these are just the ones I've found on my dashboard lurking is all :)

Btw this is a sideblog, so if any of you haven't spotted me, then it's because I need to use my main to do everything </3