#it gives me the space to give in ways that i am called into and cannot were i to have more kids

[tinystepsforward]

autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)

I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.

If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.

the background

So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.

FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:

Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;

Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;

Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.

the WordPress ecosystem

A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.

Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)

Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.

There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.

Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.

Matt being Matt, tech being tech

As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)

But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.

ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening

WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.

There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.

Sep 17

Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.

Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?

(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)

Sep 20 (WCUS final day)

WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.

Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.

He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.

For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr

Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:

“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt

He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.

Sep 21

Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.

He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.

The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)

Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:

Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash

TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers

Sep 23 onward

Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.

Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.

Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.

WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.

Twitter link | Direct PDF link

This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.

Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.

He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.

Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.

Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"

At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.

Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.

Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.

anyway this fucking sucks

This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".

Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)

I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.

So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.

Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.

And people don't want to deal with any of this.

The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.

But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.

Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.

[sirenmoontarot]

How do you need to nurture yourself? ☁️🕊️

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~

Welcome to the cottage! I am Alla <3 Sit with me in the garden and let’s have some mystic tea as we see what the Oracle has to tell you. Take what resonates and leave the rest!

Pile 1

Okay guys so for this first group i feel that what you actually need to do is to shine on and embrace yourself as how you are and instead of giving into the chaos of uncertainties and your emotions, allowing yourself to gently flow through those emotions in order for you to be fully yourself. We have the moon theme twice, you would benefit from connecting with it, and using the full moon to manifest. I strongly feel you need to expand your energies, you are constrainign yourself a lot of the time, you dont know how to navigate in your own emotions, this pile is encouraged to believe in your power to create, vision, manifest, create the lifeyou want. The power of the yet-not-created is yours. However in your journey this is continuousl affected by pains and shadows of the past, making you sttray away from you power and purpose. I sense many people of this pile have number 11 prominent in their numerology or birthday. Indicating you are called to lead in this lifetime and you also have a strong purpose here that could be related to spirituality, but it often is hard to manage or not fall in the negativity that makes you sabotage everything. The moon reminds you you are in constant fluctuation and you should embrace the ‘’becoming’’ and the feminine principles of flowing, and embracing your emotions. Times of rest and restoration are needed for you to recharge and connect deeper. A new depth of your spiritual practice is calling you. You should aim for ease and stillness, this will help your mind and life overall. The archeptype you have to heal within yourself is ‘’the judge’’ are you using this to be critical ofyourselg, punishimg, unforgiving, building walls around you? This is a powerful energy and it is a gift of discernment, to do the right actions, power, advocacy and compassion but you have to be careful if you are channeling it wrong towards yourself and therefore others…

Pile 2

First of all I am hearing guys you should believe more that you are on ther right paht, because you are. Start walking more confidently in your life, be in presence, strongly with the conviction that you are where you need to be. You need to work on your shame feelings, everything that doesnt let you live as you would wish. You need to meditate more to calm down those thoughts and dissolve those traumas. To find an inner temple inside. Stop hesitating so much, it all comes from childhood wounds. Many people of this group will resonate with the childhood wound of humiliation. You need to feel mothered, some of you in this group need this very strongly, due to mother wound. Connecting to the earth can help you on this, and after that, you will also learn to mother yourself. You also struggle to fully connect to yourself and find yourself a reliable, sacred space. This is normal it also comes with growth, but you are led to do this now, find or create a sacred space within yourself. The feelings of safety are necessary to you as well. sometimes trauma gets embedded in our system, but we are not always in danger. Practicing the mantra ‘’ i am in peace ‘’ can help you a lot. You need to find security in yourself! Also remember to give yourself the space to evolve, change, with ease, grace, and nurturing. Let yourself shed as many skins as you need. Life might have been extra tough for you lately, as if Saturn was lashing you, lol but you are called to breathe and find activities, places that allow you to breathe, expand, release the tention, stress and burden, and this way see the colours of life again. I am seeing lots of green so again, for this group connecting to nature specially trees and rivers will be very nourishing for you.

Pile 3

Okay you guys for this group the energies are very clear, i am getting PRAYING, connecting with the divine; you should hand over your worries, problems and burdens to the Divine. Put your hands on to work, on what you can control and let God do the rest. Hand it over, The thing is, the Divinity wants you to, not put your energies, focus, power in the wrong things. Some things have to end from your life, for actually better things that would be surprising to you will come. Don’t attach yourslef, mainly is out of fear or unawareness of the wonders of the universe. Do not force, let thing run its course, and count on the Divine to help you out, ask God and your angels for an easy path, for the solution, for them to guide you in ease and out of stress. The Divine wants you to start living your soul’s path, and not to focus elsewhere, things that may seem shiny are actually a void, there are other paths that are more aligned to our soul’s nature, abilities and evolution. You are called to go to a temple, you could also create one, or make your house/room a little temple. You are also called to nurture your human vessel, both physical and spiritually and actually embrace this term of Vessel to know more about what it means and might represents for you.

~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~

Thank you for reading! Remember, take what resonates, leave the rest. Lots of blessings ☁️🪽🌙🕊️

~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~

[mbsneur]

Game on: Love in play

Aggie Beever-Jones x Reader

hey my love i have a new fic for you and i hope you like it i am open to any kind of opinion and i would love to hear your wishes!🩵

Summary: Since Aggie started playing FIFA, she has neglected your sex life.

WC: 1033

Warnings: Smut18+ minors DNI, someone might notice the sex, Cunnilingus, swallow

My Masterlist

You have been going out with Aggie for 2 years, you share a flat and your sex life is good, until Aggie started playing FIFA with her friends a few weeks ago.

You craved sex, her strong hand around your neck, her bright blue eyes looking at you when you came. You didn't even remember how her fingers felt inside you. It all made you frustrated. She came home from training, sat in front of the TV, waited for dinner and came to bed late. She had no time for sexual activity at all.

You have called her a few times, or asked her to go to bed earlier, or put on the underwear she loves so much, or tried to have sleepy morning sex, but Aggie has no time, not even for cuddles.

Just like today, when Aggie came home from training and sat down in front of her console, you're so common you're about to touch yourself if Aggie doesn't come to bed with you.

you make your way from the kitchen to aggie on the couch, you make your last attempt to make physical contact with her as you reach the living room a cosy aggie greets you, she smiles tenderly at you "wait a minute y/n is here" she says to her friends, muting her microphone

You crawl over to her on the couch and she lifts her arm so you can lie underneath it and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead, "Aggie, I miss you," you say, putting your hand around her cheek and spreading little kisses on her neck.

"I'm coming to bed early tonight," she says with a sigh, trying to push you away, "Aggie, please, I need you so bad," you say, breathing lightly and taking her earlobe between your teeth.

"Just this one more round and then I'm all yours, okay?" she says softly as you put your hand on her controller to switch the silent mode, she gives you a grumpy look before you climb on top of her and start kissing her neck again. "Yes, I'm back," Aggie says laughing to her friends.

You pluck at her white top and kiss the exposed skin of Aggie's shoulders. She hasn't stopped talking to her friends for a second. In the meantime, she kicks the blanket away with her feet. "Do you want to play with me?" she says after she has put herself back on mute. You look at her tenderly. "Aggie, I want you to fuck me and that's the only way I get what I want," you say in a raspy voice.

Aggie puts her bottom lip between her teeth, turns her head and smiles. "You better hurry up then," she says. You smile at her, your eyes holding hers for a moment before turning back to her belly and pulling her top upwards.

you kiss her belly passionately, and she squirms under you on top you stifle her grunts with your free hands. You pull her shorts off her legs she helps you to do it

You remove her shorts and kiss her thighs, keeping as quiet as possible. You push her legs further apart and find her limp against you. She is still playing fifa and her friends have just scored a goal against her.

You look at her and wait for approval. Your fingers play with Aggie’s underwear. You slip your finger under the waistband of her underwear and smile at her in a confident, turned-on way. You let the waistband snap against her bare skin. Aggie flinches and lets out a soft whimper.

She shakes her head and takes your mouth between her hands, "You better finish this before I fuck myself, I‘m serious," she says after muting her microphone again.

„Yeah, it's okay," you roll your eyes. Finally, you pull her underwear down her legs.

She moves a little and tries to hold back. You smell her, the smell you missed so much, full of hunger. You work your way from her inner thigh to her core. You mark her everywhere you could find space. She grunts under you and bites her lips. She tries to put sentences together to talk to her friends. Her breathing becomes irregular the higher you go. You lick from her wet hole to her swollen clitoris, and her legs twitch around you. All you can think of is Aggie coming. You moan about her taste and take it all teasingly.

You didn't want to tease her further and start working more precisely on her pussy, she throw her head back and whimpers. She was so turned on she could hardly concentrate on the game, it was hard to be quiet. You spin firm circles around her hole, and with every bump your nose tip hits her clitoris.

Aggie hisses and closes her legs a little more. You squeeze your hands between her legs and look up at her. Your nose is covered with her juices. "Swallow it," she whispers to you, and you begin to take in every drop of liquid and swallow. The sounds you make as you do so make Aggie moan for you as she longs for release.

You push your tongue harder into her hole and thrust into her as she wriggles under you. You realise she's getting closer and you know how to make her climax. She struggles to hold the controller in her hand. Her friends have been annoyed with her a few times for missing passes. She squirms under you and breathes heavily with her mouth open. Her pussy clenches around your tongue. Her hips start to bounce in time with your tongue and you moan at her taste. One of her hands lets go of the controller and reaches into your hair. She pushes you closer to where she needs you most. Her hand tightens against your scalp until her hands finally leave the controller and she comes. Her leg muscles tighten and clench around your head. The veins in her neck stand out. Her hips jut up against your face and you guide her through her orgasm until she pushes your head away with the hand that was tangled in your hair.

when she has recovered a little you look at her dishevelled, your face wet 'i'm calling it a day, see you tomorrow at training' she says to her friends, putting down her microphone she closes the game before jumping over to you you jump up squealing and screaming as aggie runs after you

Tell me your opinion <33

[bubblergoespop]

My Top Blake Quotes

BLAKEY POOOOO ♡ sassy man

“You’re the brightest spot in my life. You always have been, even when you’re so far away I can barely see the glow.”

“Charming friend you got there. [he’s shaking in his boots]”

“That’s a one-way ticket to ending up in a spiral!”

“Whatever you need of me. I’ll give it, provided you save my love.”

“Questions aren’t really necessary right now, so how about you just sit there and look pretty, hmm?”

“Do you want me to show you exactly what magic can do when it’s not on your side?”

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what I want too. [goofy goofy chuckle]”

“You make me smile, you make me happy. I like being with you. That’s enough.”

“I can’t always keep my head above the water, but being with you is like… having an air tank. I might be below the surface, but I’m still getting oxygen. You’re that oxygen that keeps me going when I’m under."

“I told you, it was nothing... All right, let me clarify, it’s not “nothing”, it’s none of your fucking business.”

“I’m all yours.”

“Your little fuckbuddy-"

“It didn’t feel like a mistake to me. It felt like… someone switching on the lights, and suddenly realizing that I’d been standing in the dark all that time before. It felt like life was suddenly in colour.”

“it felt like I got a taste of everything I’d ever wanted, the most amazing feeling I’d ever experienced and then the next morning, I didn’t just lose the chance at that, I lost my best friend.”

“I’m tired of the dance. I just miss my friend.”

“I can’t be another mistake. Because it’ll break me.”

“You know me, you know how I am.”

“If we’re together, I’ll do everything for you, and I’ll give you everything I can, I’ll give you time and patience, if you need to be with your own thoughts, I’ll give you quiet, but I won’t be able to give you space.”

“The things I think about you, how much I want you… it’s the stuff you’re not supposed to say out loud. The stuff you’re never supposed to admit to feeling.”

“Just sitting at the table one morning, having breakfast when you realized, Oh wait, who's that voice in my head? Must be an ancient, unknowable force in Death. Guess I'll go back to my oatmeal.”

“What are you doing?”

“You would dirty their fucking name by speaking it.”

“if you pick this, it’ll be all of me. All of it. And we both know a lot of that’s not pretty.”

“I’ll get that smile on those pretty lips in the morning, just you wait.”

“I’m not worried you’ll try something. You don’t constitute a meaningful threat in my book. Sorry to bruise your ego.”

“Do I look like I care?”

“I’m not that fucking stupid. [He is]”

“Congratulations, someone please get the gentleman a door prize.”

“You can’t matter.”

“You're going to learn when to shut the fuck up. And spoiler alert, tied up, on the ground, with your powers inhibited? That's one of those times.”

“Wouldn’t that be cute?”

“I sleep easy in the arms of the person I love. Knowing that everything I’ve done, everything I do, I do for them.”

“I never stopped loving you, I’m still back there, I’m still just this scared kid telling you he fucking loves you.”

“Cute. Are you going to keep wasting time with passive aggression or do you actually have something to tell me?”

“I don’t want to die.”

“Yeah, all for you. All of it. [ft D’Deridahn calling him horny in the background]”

[lady-phasma]

Idk if this is a insensitive question, but how do you deal with ageism in fandom space? I'm in my late twenties and people already make me feel so weird about still caring about certain things, calling us hags and such, it's really depressing

Hi nonnie!

Not insensitive at all! First, hugs. I am so sorry that you have had that experience.

Please don’t let it get you down too much. If you don't follow me or are a new follower, let me give you some background. I don't allow bigotry or hate of any kind on my blog. That has the effect of also dramatically decreasing rudeness in my sphere. I got the nickname auntie for a few reasons, but one is because I'm older than a lot of folks. I embraced it. Especially when I realized that people needed a safe space in some fandoms. (The nickname originated as "writing auntie" but auntie stuck.)

So how do I deal with ageism? BLOCK. If anyone makes you feel old (seriously late 20s is so young!), block them. How do I not take it personally? That might be the more accurate interpretation of your question. I look at my nerdy tattoos and smile. I watch my blorbos and favorite shows and write smut. I check my notifications for all the people who get joy from my posts, fics, and gifs.

Honestly, I think it gets easier to not give a fuck when you get older because, for myself at least, the march of time is inevitable, so we might as well enjoy the things we enjoy. I literally do not give a shit if someone has a problem with me being 41 and in fandoms on Tumblr. I have 30 years' experience writing fanfiction. I have a whole-ass life off this blog. And I need my fandoms because they make me happy and that's a precious thing in life.

So, if I had advice to give you it might be this: just hold on. When you hit 30 you will probably stop caring. Until then, block them, post even more, do nerdier shit, and make yourself happy. The best way to deter people who want to make others miserable is to show them that they can't do that to you.

[deans-queen]

I Remember It🧣

Pairing: Jensen x Reader (Y/N)

Summary: Reader has been thinking a lot about her past relationship with Jensen, and she wishes things could have ended differently

Inspired by the Song All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) bold/italic text: song lyrics

Warnings: language, light smut, emotional vulnerability, sexual themes.

Reader’s POV

It’s been months, but I still think about him every single day. Jensen Ackles—my Jensen—was everything I wanted. Until he wasn’t. I never thought we’d fall apart like this, that I’d be left holding pieces of a love so strong it could shatter me. But now here I am, sitting in my quiet apartment, listening to “All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)” and staring at the old scarf I wore the day we met.

“I left my scarf there, and you’ve still got it in your drawer even now…”

The words of Taylor’s song hit me right where it hurts the most. God, it was so stupidly perfect, the way we’d fallen for each other. I can still remember the way his hands felt on my body, his touch slow and deliberate, the way his lips would trace along my neck. The way he’d make me feel like I was the center of his world. He’d whisper things in my ear, dirty words that would set me on fire, make me crave him even more.

“Y/N, baby, you drive me wild…” he’d say, his voice low and husky, right before he’d kiss me, deep and consuming, pulling me into a world where nothing else existed but us.

And I gave everything to him. I wanted to drown in him, in his love, his touch, his passion. But looking back, maybe that was the problem. I gave him too much of myself, and he took it without realizing just how fragile I was. How fragile we both were.

“You call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest.”

God, how that line hits me every time. He didn’t mean to break me, but he did. One night, after another fight, he just… walked away. He said we needed space, that we were moving too fast. But what he really meant was that I wasn’t enough to keep him grounded, to keep him here.

My heart still aches when I think about the last time we were together. We had one of those rare moments where everything was perfect again. We were tangled up in the sheets, my body pressed against his, our breaths heavy and shallow. He whispered my name in that deep, raspy voice, his fingers tracing my curves like he was memorizing every inch of me. I kissed him then, slowly, letting him know I wasn’t ready to let go, that I would always want more.

His lips were soft against mine, tasting like the whiskey we’d been drinking. He bit my bottom lip gently, making me moan into his mouth, and then he chuckled. That low, sexy sound that used to make me melt. “You like that, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice dark, teasing, the way he always did when he knew he had me.

I did. God, I loved it. I loved every second of being with him.

But I knew in that moment that it was slipping away. Even as we touched, as we kissed and lost ourselves in the heat of the moment, I could feel it—the distance growing between us. The way he would pull back, emotionally, even as his hands pulled me closer physically.

“And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up.” I whisper the words to myself, feeling the tears burn my eyes. Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe I was too much for him, and he wasn’t ready for all I had to give.

I wish I could say it didn’t still hurt, but it does. Every time I close my eyes, I see him, smell him, taste him. I remember the way his breath would catch when I touched him, the way he’d look at me like I was his entire world. And yet, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.

I wipe my tears and grab the scarf, pulling it to my chest. It still smells like him, faintly, like leather and cologne. I wonder if he ever thinks about me, if he ever regrets walking away. Does he still have my scarf? Does he ever pull it out of the drawer and think about what we could have been?

Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it, I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it.

The truth is, I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again. Loving Jensen changed me, broke me in ways I never expected. But I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret loving him, even if it still hurts like hell.

I close my eyes and lean back against the couch, the scarf wrapped tightly around my fingers, remembering the love that was once ours. And even though I wish things had ended differently, I can’t help but smile through the tears, because for a moment, I had him. I had him all too well.

It’s been weeks since I last thought of Jensen. Or at least that’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself. But deep down, I knew I never really let him go. The pain has softened into a dull ache, but it’s still there, lingering just beneath the surface.

I’m curled up on the couch, sipping coffee, wearing his old flannel—yeah, I know, pathetic—when I hear a knock at the door. My heart skips a beat. I’m not expecting anyone, and for a split second, I think maybe it’s Victoria. But when I open the door, I nearly drop my mug.

It’s him. Jensen, standing there, looking exactly the way I remember him. His piercing green eyes lock onto mine, and suddenly, I’m transported back to all those moments we shared. The nights filled with whispered promises, stolen kisses, and passion that felt too big for either of us to handle.

“Y/N,” he breathes my name like a prayer, his voice low and strained. I can see the weight of everything hanging between us, the words unsaid, the pain we caused each other. “I—I know I don’t deserve to be here, but I had to see you.”

I cross my arms over my chest, trying to protect myself from the whirlwind of emotions rushing in. “Why now, Jensen? After everything, why are you here?”

He steps closer, his eyes filled with regret. “I messed up. I know I hurt you, and it’s taken me too damn long to admit that. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you—about us.”

My throat tightens, and I struggle to hold back the tears. “You walked away, Jensen. You left me here, broken. And now you just show up and expect what? For me to forget all of that?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, that familiar gesture that once made me weak in the knees. “I know I can’t undo the past. I wish I could. But I need you to know, I never stopped loving you. Not for a second.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. Part of me wants to slam the door in his face, tell him to leave and never come back. But another part—the part that still loves him, still aches for him—won’t let me.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” I whisper, my voice trembling.

He takes another step toward me, close enough that I can smell his familiar scent—leather, whiskey, and something distinctly Jensen. “Let me prove it to you,” he murmurs, his eyes searching mine. “Please, Y/N. Let me show you that I’m not going anywhere this time.”

I can’t help but look away, my heart hammering in my chest. The memories of him are overwhelming—the good, the bad, all of it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. But then I feel his fingers gently touch my chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze.

“I never should have left you,” he says, his voice rough with emotion. “You were everything to me, and I was too scared to admit it. I was an idiot, and I didn’t deserve you then. But I swear, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving I do now, if you’ll give me the chance.”

His lips hover close to mine, and despite every defense I’ve built, I can feel myself leaning into him. “Jensen…” I whisper, my voice breaking.

He closes the distance between us, his mouth crashing onto mine in a kiss that’s both desperate and familiar. The world fades away, and all I can feel is him—his hands in my hair, his body pressing against mine, the heat between us igniting instantly. It’s like no time has passed, like we’ve been waiting for this moment all along.

“God, I missed you,” he breathes against my lips, his voice thick with desire. His hands slide down my back, gripping me possessively as he deepens the kiss, his tongue teasing mine. I moan softly, giving in to the fire that’s been burning in me for him all this time.

He pulls back just enough to look into my eyes, his breath coming in heavy, ragged bursts. “I want you, Y/N. I always have. I never stopped wanting you. But it’s not just that. I need you. I need us.”

His words make me tremble, and I know I’m already too far gone to push him away. I’ve wanted this—wanted him—for so long. But I can’t let him break me again. I need to be sure.

“You hurt me, Jensen,” I whisper, my voice shaking as the tears I’ve been holding back finally spill over. “You left me, and I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

He cups my face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I know, baby. I know. And I swear to you, I will never hurt you like that again. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me.”

The vulnerability in his voice, the raw emotion in his eyes—it’s too much. My defenses crumble, and before I can stop myself, I’m kissing him again, hard and desperate, like I’ve been starving for him all this time. He responds with equal intensity, his hands roaming my body, pulling me against him like he’s afraid I’ll disappear.

We stumble backward into my apartment, lips never breaking contact, and I’m lost in him again. Lost in the heat, the passion, the love that never really faded.

As we collapse onto the couch, his body pressing me into the cushions, I know this time it’s different. This time, he’s here to stay. And maybe—just maybe—we can pick up the pieces of what we lost.

“And I remember it all too well…”, and so does he.

Authors Note:

Hope you enjoyed this story! It’s been in my drafts FOREVER, and I’m so glad I finally got the chance to post it. And also if this song doesn’t make you cry then are you even human ??? 😭Feel free to let me know what you think! I always love reading feedback!

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[ikilledyvette]

(Part II of my seriously condensed 9-1-1 fic is here! Hope people enjoy, even though it's all a bit rushed!)

Part I

Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day. It’s always a hard day for Bobby, but usually, working helps him get through it. Today has been ... worse, and not just for him. Bobby finds Eddie on the couch, staring blankly into nothing. Bobby sits down beside him, a silent invitation to talk. Eddie doesn’t always take him up on it.

Today, Eddie says, “He hasn’t called,” and Bobby reminds him the day isn’t over yet. Eddie asks, “What if he doesn’t call?” and Bobby reminds him about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. 

“Every day you’re both alive is another chance to make things right,” Bobby says. “Don’t give up on tomorrow just yet, Eddie.”

Buck comes by then, and Eddie takes off to give the two some space. Buck says, “So, I had dinner with my parents the other night.” Bobby asks how it went, and Buck says, “Yeah, not great. They had, uh. A lot to say about me, you know. Going through a gay phase, or something. Wanting attention. Getting too old for, I don’t know. Making stuff up, I guess.”

Bobby nods. Cautiously, he says, “Sounds to me like they still don’t know you very well.”

Buck huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Thing is, everything they said ... it’s all stuff I’ve thought too, you know? Like, I’ve always done stupid things to get people’s attention. Their attention, Tommy’s. Yours. And if ... if what I’m feeling, who I am, is ... is real ... how could I have not known before, right? And I, I do know how I feel about Tommy—I like him so much, Bobby, you don’t even know—”

Bobby knows. Everyone knows. Buck’s joy is not subtle; it shines through him, a thing to behold.

“—but sometimes I still—” Buck breaks off and sighs. “Well, maybe that’s why I reacted so badly last night. Cause sometimes, I worry they’re right.”

“They’re not,” Bobby says immediately.

“How do you know that?”

And Bobby hesitates, not sure Buck is going to want to hear this right now. But still, he says, “Because I know you, kid.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling a little. “You do. Bobby, I’m. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I do. Cause that night we talked about Tommy? You didn’t ask me to, to explain myself, or suggest maybe I wasn’t thinking things through. You didn’t need me to prove anything. You just accepted it, Tommy and me. You accepted me.” Buck shakes his head. “I told this to Maddie once, but sometimes it’s easier to lash out at the person you know is always going to forgive you. My parents, that’s not them, never will be. But you, uh. You’re safe.”

Bobby swallows a little at that. He wants to be that person for Buck—but Bobby know he isn’t, can’t be. He’s the reason his family is dead; he’s the reason so many people are dead. 

“I know I hurt you,” Bobby says. “If I hadn’t left the way I did, Gerrard would never have been captain, and—”

“You think this is about Gerrard? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” But Buck’s voice is teasing, lessening the sting. “Yeah, I mean, working under Gerrard was ... rough, for a lot reasons. But that’s not ... Hen was the one mad at you for that.”

Bobby is aware. Hen had forgiven him pretty quickly, but her attitude towards Bobby on his first day back had been ... cool, to say the least. Bobby understands why, had prepared himself for Hen’s anger, potentially Chimney’s, too. They both went through a lot, working under Gerrard the first time around. Bobby had expected them to be upset.

He’s not sure why he hadn’t expected Buck to be.

“I’m not mad about Gerrard,” Buck tells him. “I’m mad that you lied. You—you were saying goodbye all day, only we didn’t know, I didn’t know. And you just—you were just going to leave?”

“I didn’t want—”

“You didn’t want us to change your mind,” Buck says, now visibly upset. “You—you said goodbye, Bobby. I didn’t realize it then, what you were doing, but—if you were gone, if you left, and I could have done something to stop it, stop you from, from—"

And Bobby realizes suddenly that Buck isn’t just talking about Bobby quitting.

“Hey,” Bobby says. “Listen. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“For how long?” Buck asks, and it’s not mockery this time. It’s pleading. Anxious. Young. For as much Buck has been through, for as much progress he’s made over the last seven years, Bobby is struck every now and then by how young Buck still is.

“That’s not up to me,” Bobby says and points up, skyward, at the man upstairs. “And listen, Buck, I won’t deny I was ... I was in a pretty dark place a couple of months ago. I should’ve been more honest about that. But I’m here, and I mean to stay here as long as I can. Okay? I’m not going anywhere without a fight, I promise.”

Buck inhales, a deep, shuddery breath, and Bobby hugs him, and Buck hugs Bobby back. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck says again. “I think, maybe. I think I’ve just been really scared.”

Bobby hugs him a little tighter and says, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, kid.”

Footsteps on the stairs interrupt them a few minutes later. “Not to break up this long overdue moment,” Chimney says, “but Buck, you’ve got another visitor.”

Buck turns with a little dread, expecting his parents and not sure he’s ready to face them just yet—but it’s Maddie. This time, it’s Bobby and Chimney who disappear downstairs to give the Buckley siblings some space.

Maddie tells Buck that their parents are flying home. “I told them to go,” she says. “And not to come back.”

“Chimney told you,” Buck realizes, resigned and more than a little annoyed.

“Of course, he did,” Maddie says. She’s slightly exasperated but mostly worried. “Why didn’t you?” 

She thinks he’ll say something about not wanting to ruin Maddie’s relationship with their parents or Jee Yun’s relationships with her grandparents, and Buck does lead with that. But mostly, Buck’s ashamed of how he petty it was, bringing up Daniel. “I didn’t want you to think that I, I resented him,” he says. “I really don’t, Maddie. He was just a kid, and he never got the chance to grow up and, and I wish I could’ve given him that chance. I wish I could’ve met the person he would’ve become.”

“I know,” Maddie tells him, and reminds him that it’s not his fault; it was never his responsibility to save Daniel. Buck says he doesn’t blame their mom for slapping him after what he said, and Maddie, steely, says, “Well, I do. For that, and also for how they talked to you—no, it’s not okay. What if Jee grows up and realizes she likes both boys and girls someday? I don't want Mom talking to her like that. Do you?"

Buck recoils a little, and Maddie nods. “Would you be okay if Mom ever hit Jee Yun?” she asks. “Even if she said something terrible? Even if she deserved it?”

“She could never deserve it,” Buck says, knowing what Maddie’s doing but unable to keep quiet, not when his sister looks so upset, not with the ghost of Doug so heavy in the air. He hates to think of how many times Doug must have told Maddie that she was to blame for everything he did to her. “But Maddie, I don’t think Mom or Dad would ever—”

“Maybe not,” Maddie says, “but that doesn’t make them safe. They screw up, and they always feel bad about it, but they never really apologize. They never put in the work. They just ... make excuses and expect that we’ll forgive them, but I think I’m done with that now. I’m done with relationships where it’s only my responsibility to try harder, to smooth things over, to say the right thing, to always forgive. Maybe someday, if Mom and Dad actually work on themselves, but for right now ..." Maddie shakes her head. "Enough is enough.”

Buck gets that, he does. But he admits he isn’t sure he’s ready to cut off his parents yet, isn’t sure he wants too. He still wants to keep trying, and Maddie says that’s okay. What matters is, they still have each other. And she won’t try to change his mind if he doesn’t try to change hers.

Buck offers her a pinky swear. Maddie smiles and hooks her finger around his.

*

Meanwhile, downstairs, a phone rings.

“Christopher?” Eddie says, and takes a few steps, turning away from everyone. 

It is Christopher. He calls to wish his dad a happy Father’s Day, but also to say he loves him, and while he’s not quite ready to come home yet, he still wants to come home, and maybe soon.

“I miss you,” Christopher tells him. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. But you have to stop lying to me.”

“I can do that,” Eddie promises.

“And go back to therapy.”

Eddie laughs. “Already on top of that one, bud. Maybe ... we could go together, sometime, when you come home?”

“Yeah,” Christopher says. “I’d like that. I love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, Chris,” Eddie says. He hangs up, takes a breath before turning around, and announces, “Christopher called!" as if everyone—including Maddie and Buck, leaning over the balcony—weren’t badly pretending not to eavesdrop.

Everyone cheers and rushes Eddie. 

“What did I tell you?” Bobby asks him. “What did I tell you?” Hen asks, too, and Eddie says, “Yeah, yeah,” to both of them, with wet eyes and a shaky, hopeful smile.

“This calls for champagne!” Chimney announces. “But since we’re all on duty ... cheap coffee and leftover Ding Dong, Gerrard is Gone cake it is!”

—All in all, it’s the best Father’s Day the 118 has had in a long, long time. 

(And that's it! Apologies, fellow Tommy fans, that he didn’t make it into Part 2—but you know. If Tommy’s at the fire house, who’s flying the plane? Actually, Tommy’s too busy babysitting Jee Yun, and—to both Buck and Chimney’s horror—introducing her to all the worst Star Wars movies. She loves them.)

Tag List @lavenderleahy @v88sy

[electric-blorbos]

uhh maybe ai with a reader who gives them really goofy nicknames ^__^

I think I've figured out what my problem is. I'm too worried about making really long, high quality content that I'm afraid of writing anything. As a reader I know that I love getting words, no matter how many, but as a writer I feel like nobody's gonna like it if it's short.

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a space Odyssey

AM:

You were working the later half of a double shift, and were on your third cup of cheap coffee that night. AM was whirring away, calculating the best way to take down the Russians, and you were on constant maintenance duty. It wasn't that bad, though. AM could pretty much take care of himself. You only had to work so many hours because half of your department had been laid off or gone mysteriously missing.

"Are you falling asleep?" AM asked in his crackling voice. You looked up from your arms, blinking a few times.

"huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, muffin muffin... I just got sleepy."

It had just slipped out, but AM's reaction was immediate. Off-air bars appeared on every monitor in the room, and the entire area was filled with a discombobulated screaming sound.

"AHWFHDHSHSHSjdhshshshaajdgHhHh2-*-h--#$&$hdhaJAAAAAAAAAAA"

You covered your ears reflexively, shakily uncovering them after a minute or so to try to grab your office phone, which was ringing off the hook.

"What the FUCK did you do!"

"You're going to have to be more specific." You muttered, trying to be heard over AM's meltdown.

"Well SOMETHING triggered the nuclear launch countdown, a reactor core meltdown, and won't stop SCREAMING! You're the only one working on AM right now, so what the hell did you do."

"He WHAT?" You ran up to the camera and pulled it into a hug, stroking it gently. It didn't really make sense, but it was all that you could think to do.

"AM, calm down... Calm down, ok?"

You softly spoke to him until his logo re-appeared onscreen. He stopped making jumbled screaming noises.

"I AM CALM!"

"Hey, AM, I'm going to need you to calm down, and cancel the nuclear launch, alright?"

AM buffered for a few seconds, before he finally cancelled it.

"...fine."

"Okay, I get it, no more silly nicknames."

"...I didn't say that."

Wheatley:

It was about time for you to get off work when your favorite little personality core slid into the room on his management rail apparatus. He was usually in charge of looking after the test subjects, but he was always eager to say hello and goodbye to you before and after work.

"Ello love!" He said happily when he saw you gathering up your things. You smiled up at him.

"Hey Pumpkin! I'm just getting off, but I can have some coffee with you in the break room if you want!"

Wheatley's rail handles popped slightly, and he flinched back at the nickname, but then he relaxed and raised his lower lens cover in an imitation of a smile.

"w- what did you just call me, love?"

"Oh, Pumpkin? Well I figured that since you're always calling me 'love', I should call you something cute! And you're sweet and round like a pumpkin, so that's your new nickname!"

"Oh, I- I see."

If Wheatley could blush, he'd be beet red right now, but he couldn't. You still kind of felt like you could see a bit more glow in his eye than usual, though.

"What, do you want me to stop?"

"NO!" He practically cut you off.

"No- no, I don't- you don't have to do that! Pumpkin! I like it! I'm your pumpkin!"

You giggled a little, and planted a kiss on his chrome.

"love you, Pumpkin!"

You left, leaving him a babbling mess.

Edgar:

You had just gotten off work, and were sitting down on the couch to enjoy your sandwich. Edgar's webcam was pointed at you, and he had his usual simple smile on his face. He was always happy to eat lunch with you, even though you didn't want to eat at the desk for fear of getting crumbs in him.

"So, do you want to watch some rom-coms?" He asked brightly. He was always so happy to see you.

"hmm... I'm not sure, pookie. Do you want me to go online and see if any new ones are out?"

You glanced up smugly to see his reaction, and thanked whatever god you could think of that you weren't epileptic. He was flashing every color in the book.

"Jesus Edgar, calm down!"

"POOKIE?????" His voice was glitching heavily when he spoke, practically in every pitch. You giggled a little. Your evil plan had worked. And just when Edgar was starting to think he was on to all your tricks, too.

"Of course, pookie! What rom-coms do you want to watch?"

"I- I'm- I mean- uh- well-"

"Aww, are you having trouble thinking? That's ok." You picked up his monitor and held it close, nuzzling your cheek up against his whirring, buzzing casing. He kept babbling awkwardly.

"Alright, take a minute, calm down."

"I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too, pookie." You gave him a kiss on the top of his monitor, and set him down gently.

GLaDOS

It was a Sunday, and you were hanging out in GLaDOS's chambers with your laptop. You were playing some video games, typing away while GLaDOS watched.

"You know, you're very bad at those video games. Perhaps you should put them away and focus on me, instead."

"whatever you want, mama." You snapped your laptop shut, and immediately covered your mouth. Uh oh.

"...Uh huh." She turned her entire body to face you, your face totally red and your hands over your mouth.

"...Do you mind repeating that?"

"I said... Whatever you want"

"that wasn't all you said, was it."

You shook your head nervously, and GLaDOS made a deep chuckling sound that you could feel in the core of your chest.

"Say it again."

"W-what?"

"I said, Say. It. Again."

"M-mama..." You squeaked out, your pathetic voice cracking.

"that's a good subject."

HAL 9000:

You were just getting to work. It was pretty early in the morning, and you were holding your papers and computer in one hand and a half-eaten muffin in the other. Hal was already on, working on his regularly scheduled mission control duties.

"Good morning, y/n" Hal said cheerfully, happy as ever to see you. You smiled and nodded to him.

"good morning, Babycakes!" You gave him a quick peck on the lens, and he froze up for a few seconds.

"right. Um- good morning, y/n. It's time to get to work."

You sat down and finished your muffin, getting to work. It wasn't much of a reaction, but Hal 9000 wasn't really the reactive type. You could still tell that you'd gotten to him.

[biancasreign]

BE WITH HIM | CARMELO

“Carmelo!”

“What are you talking about?” Sierra called out to him as she followed his through the parking lot of his apartment complex.

“Man, I’m not even gonna sit here and do this with you for real.” He waved her off as he walked to his car. At this point he was over all her shit and she was the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

“Do what? Can you communicate? What the hell is wrong with you?” She huffed at him. Not only could she not believe he had her chasing in him in this dark ass parking garage but in the rain with her heels.

“What’s wrong with me? Nah, what the hell is wrong with you?” He shook his head as he pulled his keys out his pocket trying to find his car. With Sierra screaming in his ear he couldn’t remember where he parked.

“Nothing! I came over here because you’re tripping and telling me I’m not shit. How am I not shit Carmelo?” She asked before she spotted his car and walked around to the drivers side, blocking him from getting in.

“Man move, I got shit to do.” He mumbled as he stared down at her with nothing but anger in his eyes. He had so much love for this woman but at that moment he hated the site of her.

“Not until you talk to me. You can’t send me a text like that and then dodge me!”

“Sierra, I love you a lot and I’m trying to put space between us so I don’t say anything I regret. I’m trying to save the little bit of what we have left so please give me space before you make me hate you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes.” She nodded her head knowing that he just wanted to be left alone. She didn’t understand what triggered him but in order to save them she would give him his space.

“Ight, where’s your car?”

“It’s in the shop. I got an Uber here from work.” She mumbled as a tear rolled down her face.

As much as he wanted to tell her to call an Uber and leave her where she stood he couldn’t. He had too much love for her and his mother didn’t raise him that way. He had to make sure she got home safe especially in this rain.

“Get in the car.” He spoke as he unlocked the doors and got into the drivers seat.

Nodding her head she walked around the passenger side of the car and got inside. The tension in the car made her want to cry but that would only annoy him more so she refrained.

She reached into her purse and grabbed a couple wipes to clear her face of the sticky makeup she was covered in thanks to the rain. When she left for work she had no idea it was going to rain because if she did she would’ve skipped the heels and the makeup for today.

She also didn’t know she would be chasing Carmelo in the rain but here she was with curly wet hair and slippery heels. In the drivers seat Carmelo sat annoyed that despite how angry he was with he still cares about her so much.

Although they weren’t official they knew where they stood in each others life. That’s why he was so upset she was in some dudes face and that why despite them not being together she would chase him in the rain and mess up her silk press.

“Can you just tell me why you’re mad?” She asked him about twenty minutes into the ride. The sitting in silence was killing her and she just had to say something to him.

After a few seconds he turned the radio up making her raised her eyebrows and turn it back down. She knew she was as playing with fire but she wouldn’t allow him to be overly rude to her without an explanation.

Laughing to himself Carmelo shook his head and looked out the window to collect his thoughts before turning back towards her.

“You out here in other niggas faces. Dancing on them and you think shits sweet?” He finally said to her.

“What? You’re talking about when I went to the club last night? What am I supposed to do just stand on the wall? I’m not even your girlfriend so what’s the problem?”

“Sierra, don’t do that. I promise you don’t wanna take it there with me.” He felt himself getting upset because she was the reason they weren’t a couple.

“Don’t do what?”

“I can treat you like you’re not my girlfriend for real. Say the word and I’ll leave your ass alone. I swear to God I will.” He looked over at her with the most serious look on his face. Sierra felt her heart drop when those words left his mouth and that’s when she knew she had fucked up.

“It doesn’t even have to be like that. I just don’t understand why you’re upset. I was at the club dancing on a guy. He didn’t mean anything it was just a dance and I don’t get upset with you when bitches are in your face.”

“When bitches are in my face I back them up. I don’t entertain them but let it be a nigga in your face. This is the same thing we just talked about with ole boy.” He got everything off his chest while he could.

“He was literally my friend. I don’t understand what vibe you get from him and why you’re mad at me about it.”

“Ight, I’m not doing this shit. You can go be with him if you’re not going to listen to what I’m saying.”

“What? I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with you and you know that.”

“Then act like it. I’m not going to chase you nor be in competition with other niggas about you. I’m a grown ass man and I can look at him and know that he wants you. I want you to stop playing with me.”

“Then you need to apply the pressure and make me feel that way. Tell me I’m your girl and you only want me. I shouldn’t have to guess my position in your life!”

“Sierra, I only wanna to be with you. I want you to be my girl. I want you to be my wife. I want you to have my kids. I love you and I need you to understand I’m not playing with you or about you.”

“I love you too.”

“Ima need you to cut ties with ole boy. I’m not cool with y’all being friends when he’s tried stuff with you in the past. He doesn’t respect my position in your life and as your man I’m not tolerating that shit.”

“Okay, I’ll cut him off. I just want you and that’s it. I’m sorry for making you feel any different. I really am.” She looked him in his eyes as they sat at the red light.

“And you got me. Just don’t make me regret that shit. I loved you for a long ass time Sierra. Let me be that man for you. The one that you need.”

“I love you too and I promise you won’t regret it.”

——————————————————————————

tag list: @bebesobrielo @trentybenty @amandairene88 @kiki1704 @paigereeder @uceyliyahh @skyesthebomb

[fudgecake-charlie]

Cosmic Chaos: A skyduo space apocalypse harbinger AU!

A human-turned-entitity and an entity-turned-human are given the gargantuan task of leaving the sentient Universe in ruins to prepare for Its approaching death. My beloved and incredibly not thought through AU with Grian and Pearl from September! I missed drawing them. If you have ideas or questions for this AU please feel free to leave something in my inbox! I am not great at answering questions (worse now I'm in uni) but I’ll try my best to reply. [P.S: extra thoughts in the og tags; uncropped and extra drawings on my twitter somewhere.]

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

[maulfucker]

This song is making me want to start yet another fic to never finish,, "Tell me... Where is your hideout? Who are we running from? I'm starting to think that you were right, and now I'm afraid of letting go of your hand...." Maul giving up on his Mandalore plan and deciding to just stalk Kenobi to tell him about his vision. Staying illegally in Obi-Wan's room because I love putting these guys in situations (and because Maul would NOT leave him alone until Obi-Wan actually accepted Maul is right, which he won't). Following Obi-Wan to Utapau and helping him escape after the clones attack, feeling equal parts vindicated and enraged (because he was proved right but Sidious still won). Them being on the run together....

[bylertruther]

kinda cool how in season one eleven escapes the lab thinking she's the monster & in season four eleven escapes the lab again knowing she never was and that none of what happened was ever her fault.

and how in season two she goes on a journey to figure out part of her past and is told by another of the lab's victims that she needs to find strength in pain and anger & in season four we saw that it was her mother calling her by her real, human name and telling her that she loved her that gave her enough strength to overpower evil and banish it from their dimension, not the hurt and rage she felt at her being taken away. and that again, she was able to perform a miracle and bring her friend back to life by thinking of the love she showed her and the way she had always treated her like she was a human being.

she and her story are just really cool, methinks.

[cabbagequeen323]

I feel really happy and content about my decision to have my bilateral saplingectomy! It's great!

[atissi]

another year of progress! since my birthday is right before the new year, i always associate my personal growth with my previous age. i think i’m happy with how I grew as a 20-year-old...more than just improving my anatomy and style, i’m learning to be more comfortable existing outside of my own head. i like looking at other people’s art summaries, so i thought i’d post mine (even if i’m pretty fucking embarrassed to look at my old pieces.......lol)

in 2023, i want to do more environments, get more comfortable with painting different body types, post my writing, and feel less awkward talking about myself. along with my academic and career goals of course :P

here’s to the new year! 🎉

[solar--spectrum]

We got so high the only memories of a very long complex important conversation (one-sided entirely more of a rant) between CB and 🐙 look like... this

See more rant in the comments ☆ I lost control!