#it goes both ways because they're very differently autistic

[yellowhollyhock]

thinking again about 03 Donny finding the 12 turtles annoying, something I thought of at first mostly because they're all very loud and the one thing we really see Don get annoyed about is volume. But the more I think about it the more hilarious I find it

Donny, to April: He's so obnoxious about his crush, it's actually kind of disturbing. I feel really bad for their April. And he will not stop screaming. It doesn't matter what emotion he's dealing with, he has to screech about it. I promised I'd help him with the retromutagen but I can't focus with him around. And he's so immature, every time one of his brothers peeks in he has to say something sarcastic and try to get the last word.

April: He sounds like a normal kid.

Donny: He's my age.

April:

Donny: So am I not a normal--

April: No sweetie.

Meanwhile, Donnie to Mikey

Donnie: Yeah, sure, it's been helpful I guess... he kinda freaks me out, though.

Mikey: He's real quiet.

Donnie: He's always scowling. I think he's planning something with the retromutagen. He doesn't even screech about science things, he just gives a thumbs up.

Mikey: But you give--

Donnie: It's different, Mikey. He has it out for me, I can tell.

Mikey: I don't know man, he seems really nice. My nickname for him is literally Limited Edition Nice Donnie.

Donnie: Get out of my lab

Mikey: Donnie but with Rizz

Donnie: gET OuT oF My LAb!!

[autistichalsin]

Halsin's autism coding really jumps out in his camp confession scene

Both the romantic and platonic one. Starting with the romantic one:

He thinks asking about his past lovers is a sign of interest (I notice a lot of autistic folks like us tend to never get it "right"- when we guess that someone might be interested because of cues we were told were romantic, we get it wrong, whereas when someone is showing certain cues, we think it's just friendly!)

The way he feels the need to explain why he thinks you're interested in him before you accept or reject. This one isn't explicitly explained, of course, but it is very easy to read it as an autistic person afraid of being harshly rejected/told they're insane to think there was a connection, so he puts out an explanation first in the hopes of softening the blow if he turned out to be wrong.

Halsin completely, and adorably, misinterprets the player if they tell him "maybe your heart stirs easier than you think"; he doesn't understand that the player is partially slut-shaming him (which is rude af on the player's end, but he misses this because he's honestly un-slutshamable, so he would never be offended here) and partially asking for clarification- how can you have had many lovers yet your heart doesn't stir easily? Not understanding this, Halsin goes on to tell stories of his past exploits, which are hot and very welcome, but also very much not what the player as getting at.

If the player is an absolute asshole and mocks him by comparing him to a deep rothe, he is crushed, but stays calm, simply telling them that they could have just said no- he doesn't call the player a jerk like they deserved. Just feels very true to the 'tism experience.

This line alone could stand as proof, I think: "Nature gifted us our desires, and the means to act on them. But we muddied its beautiful simplicity with rules, social strictures... clothes." He hates social structures for their complexity, and prefers something simpler. The dislike of social structures, of their nebulous nature, is a core autistic experience.

If the player says they only helped because he's a useful ally, he once again misreads; he misses that the statement was a rejection, and responds earnestly that he sees them as much more than an ally.

For the new platonic path:

If the player tells him they just want him to carry heavy things for them, he responds differently based on his approval levels to them (I.E. based on how close they are and how kind he feels the player is); at low approval, he is deeply hurt by this, and sadly muses that "perhaps not all friendships are destined to be balanced and reciprocal." Yet... he still considers it a friendship, even though that is in practice no friendship at all. A lot of autistic folks have this experience of being friends with people who don't share the same level of affection, or even outright mistreat, us.

In fact, the same thing happens in another variation: if the player snarks about Halsin inviting himself along (a way of saying "get lost"), he laughs and warmly says that he guesses he did invite himself along, and that he will be "more tactful when trying to make friends in future." Declaring oneself friends with others is such a classic autistic experience, but even MORE so is declaring yourself friends with someone who only tolerates, or even actively dislikes, you. It's quite sad- but also very endearing, because I feel so SEEN in that moment.

[sadokasochism]

For me, the most heartbreaking aspect of Ivan is that the poor clueless bastard didn't have the tools to express his affection in any way that didn't involve violence or manipulation, or weren't too inscrutable, quiet, or unseen to be picked up by Till.

I definitely interpret Ivan as autistic for several reasons, a big one being their Segyein teacher's notes about him:

It's just. Classic ND behaviour to me.

Not only does expressing emotion and communicating the way other kids do not come naturally to Ivan, but it's not as if he's been given a great example of coping with this from the Segyein.

Ivan managed to mask in a way that made him popular with other students, and got him in the good graces of their captors. He did everything expected of him to survive and thrive in this environment.

Then he meets Till, inscrutable and very different to the other kids, just like Ivan is. Except, Till doesn't mask. He doesn't change or try to endear himself to their captors, and he doesn't bend to anyone, no matter how much he is hurt and punished for it.

This is a new situation for Ivan, and he's never had anything to compare his feelings to. He also can't figure out how to communicate with Till, every interaction, no matter how well meaning, seems to end in failure.

I bring your attention to the cheer up comic, and how, again, autistic this interaction feels:

There could be many reasons why Ivan chose to say what he did, but to me it feels like ND bluntness not being received well. And that's fair! From Till's perspective Ivan is being a jerk for no good reason.

Instead of responding with glee towards Till laying him out (as we see from Ivan when they're a bit older), Ivan justs seems... really confused. Like he didn't expect that statement to upset Till that much, and he didn't expect Till to respond in the way he did. Everything was fine a second ago, what went wrong?

Then, Ivan uses the phrase he learned from Till in an attempt to self sooth. It might have been the first example of comfort after an injury/hurt he had ever seen, given how he defaults to it. And it was from Till trying to cheer up a flower.

This also shows some of Till's blindspots. He has grown up having to be vigilant, because violence and hurt have been a core part of his upbringing. This leads to anything he doesn't immediately, clearly understand being perceived as a threat or a slight, and so he reacts violently to Ivan's statement.

I'll also draw your attention to this comic where, as far as we know, Ivan is simply stating a true fact in a blunt manner:

In my interpretation, these types of interactions keep adding up, and Ivan is grasping at straws the whole time, trying to be closer to Till and failing every time.

Eventually, the only surefire way to get Till's attention is to piss him off, provoke him, manufacture scenarios to talk to him. I'm not excusing this behaviour, but I understand where Ivan could be coming from, from the perspective of both an emotionally immature/stunted child and/or an ND child.

Despite how much they fight and bicker, at every moment it really mattered, Ivan was there for Till. It was always Ivan coming to free him, to take off his collar or gag, and it was Ivan who led their escape.

Ivan couldn't leave Till behind when he went back for Mizi. Even with the confirmation that Till would choose Mizi over Ivan every time, Ivan couldn't leave him.

The miscommunication goes two ways though. It's insane to think that Till didn't care about Ivan at all. They were close as kids, and I doubt Till ever forgot about the escape he gave up.

We have the graduation messages, where Ivan is able to write something that could be reasonably interpreted as affectionate or fond towards Till.

Meanwhile, Till's message-

If we're being charitable with our interpretations, we can say this was Till's way of saying 'of course I remember you' and attempting to communicate that Ivan HAD left a lasting impact on him.

However, how could any reasonable person be expected to get THAT out of 'you stole my fucking pencil'? Ivan could have taken this one of two ways:

1) Omg he remembers me 🥰

2) he leans into his 'i will never be loved back' bias and thinks that Till really doesn't care about him at all

Who the hell knows what goes through that weird little brain of his. But given how Round 6 went, and what Ivan had to say in the confession comic, he obviously didn't think his impact was significant enough.

Then Alien Stage happens, and in Round 3 Ivan is FINALLY communicating his feelings in a way that is vulnerable and might even have a chance of being understood as love and yearning!

Till is unconscious through it until the very end.

Then in the next round, Mizi goes missing, and Till can't care about anything anymore.

Ivan finds him after the private performance, takes off his gag, and just holds him. Again, Till is unconscious for all of this.

Then, in Round 6, not only is Till distraught from the disappearance of Mizi, but he's given no time to process what the fuck is going on before Ivan is dead at his feet. Till might have finally had a chance to really understand where Ivan was coming from, how he really felt all this time, and Ivan DIES.

And still, Ivan's most transparent act of affection? It's delivered with violence. He's kissing a distraught Till who tries to push him away, and neither of them are happy. He puts his hands around Till's neck, not really hurting him, but it's enough to look convincing for the cameras, and it's enough for Till to go limp and wait for death. Ivan's final loving act is to give Till a soft look with blood pouring out of his mouth, that Till still does not see, and then let go before falling to the ground.

It's just a collection of failures. We see from Ivan that he truly loved Till, made a lot of selfless decisions for his sake, was filled with so much longing and affection, but he just couldn't get it across in a way that doesn't seem fucking deranged from an outsider's perspective. And when he DID manage to communicate his feelings more clearly, it was to a Till that was unconscious, or too distracted/dense/traumatised to see Ivan's actions as ones of love.

There's no guarantee that Till would have reciprocated even if Ivan had managed to communicate his feelings in a healthier way, but there was at least a CHANCE. At least Ivan could have gotten some closure, even if he was rejected.

Instead Ivan died thinking he was completely unloved by the person who he cared about more than anything else, and his last ditch effort to make Till understand was deeply flawed and uncomfortable.

If these kids had grown up any other way, maybe they could have had a chance. Unfortunately, the world they were in didn't equip them to not hurt eachother in their attempts to grow closer.

[mattiebluebird]

Yk that post that's like ‘signal is the spiritual successor to nightwing’ bc I DO & IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT NON-STOP.

And the comics pretty much confirm it (To Me) in Grayson #15.

So in this issue each of the Robins, minus Steph (RIP Steph) get paired off with one of the We Are Robin gang and give them their own advice on what it means to be Robin.

Tim—whose main problem with this whole thing is that they don't know these kids, how can they trust them?—gets paired with Andre Cipriani, a mob kid whose dad was murdered by a rival gang when he was eight years old. Tim trains Dre by having him fight blindfolded. He tells Dre that being a Robin is about truth and investigation, which makes sense, right? Tim became a Robin by figuring out Batman and Robin’s secret identity (keep this in mind, all the Robins’ advice links to their origin).

To be a Robin, you have to understand what you don't know. And then you must seek to know it. You must always ask: how can I see into the dark? Batman once told me, being a Robin can be summarized into one word: investigation.

These two were an interesting choice to pair up. I would've thought they'd put Dre with Jason, given their violent tendencies—Dre is smart, but at this point in the comics doesn't strike me as particularly investigative. Then again, right after this arc he goes undercover in a gang, so maybe he learned something?

Speaking of learning something: at first I thought they should've paired Dre with Steph (#teamcriminaldads lmao), and while that would be an interesting team, Dre did learn from Tim. If Riko were present in this issue, she would've been a good fit for Steph, as she idolizes the Batgirls and Steph was both a Batgirl and a Robin. Plus, Steph and Riko are both brave & have mean streaks, something that Riko has trouble showing because of her shyness. Steph’s advice probably would've been along the lines of “being a Robin is about defiance”.

Besides, if Tim and Dre weren't paired up, we never would've gotten this interaction.

— You like Liszt.

— What?

— Franz Liszt. The composer. You play the piano. I looked you up. People who play the piano like Liszt.

Points to Tim for the most autistic small talk ever. ‘You like this, which I know because I researched you in a totally non-creepy way.’ Amazing. 10/10.

Dax gets paired with Jason. They're interesting parallels. Dax is the inventor/mechanic of the team, but also sort of the wild card with very strong morals, like Robin!Jason in a way. Like Jason, Dax’s father is (implied to be) a crook, though they took different moral directions because of that—Dax is completely opposed to gun violence.

Anyways, Jason's main reservation is that you can't have Robin without Batman. And I guess he decided to solve this issue by just becoming Batman & making the WAR crew relive his origin story by stealing tires from the mob.

Y'know, kid, Batman once told me, being a Robin comes down to one word: confidence.

Jason Todd, the Crime Alley street kid who had the balls (and the skills) to steal Batman's tires and get away with it. Sort of. Confidence, indeed.

Damian's problem with the Robins is, of course, that they're weak, and strength (according to him) can't be trained; you either got it or you don't. He gets paired with Izzy, who probably has the toughest home life of the WAR crew. Her brother's in a gang (that he regularly beats her up for not joining), and she's failing all her classes because she's too busy working night shifts at her mom's restaurant to sleep or do homework.

So Damian's advice to her is pretty apt:

Batman told me that there is one word that captures the essence of being Robin. Suffering.

Damian and Izzy are both outwardly surly, stubborn characters who have had to fight to survive. Notably, Izzy is the first of the crew to almost resort to killing/guns (in WAR #6). She's also probably the best fighter in the WAR crew after Dre and Riko. She does dancing, gymnastics, judo, and kick-boxing.

And, finally, we reach the point of this whole post: Dick & Duke.

Duke deduces Dick's secret identity in like .5 seconds.

— I've solved a lot of hard in my time. This ain't hard.

— No. No, it wasn't hard. Not for you. Again, Duke Thomas?

Dick: You discovered my secret identity!

Duke: What? Like its hard?

After scoping out their strengths and weaknesses, Dick sends the Robins on individual assignments: Dre and Tim to investigate, Dax and Jason to cause a distraction, Izzy and Damian to apprehend Robo-Batman/Gordon.

Dick brings Duke on to a roof for a stake-out, where they have this exchange.

— You think only the originals understand how to be Robin?

— Nope.

— Yeah. Me neither.

Then it turns out that Dick actually turned them all in to the cops because he wanted them out of harm's way. He's been watching Duke for a while and he knows he's scared of heights, so he led him onto a roof he knew he couldn't get off of. Just before they part ways, Dick imparts his Crucial Robin Advice:

Batman once wais to me that being a Robin is about one thing. Family.

(I find this whole thing super ironic considering Dick's whole aside concerning the Robins was the fact that it doesn't matter if people know you're manipulating them as long as it works.)

The point of Robin? Family. Dick and Duke are alike in this way. Dick only became Robin to get justice for his parents’ murder. Duke only joined WAR to find his parents.

Their origins and motivations are similar, and so are the characters themselves. Dick is often called the world's second-greatest detective next to Batman himself. Duke is a child prodigy—one of our first introductions to his character is when he tried to solve the Riddler's riddles in Zero Year. He loves puzzles. He's an amazing detective.

And, of course, one of the things we know and love about Nightwing is his inherent kindness, something that's present throughout Duke’s entire character arc. Even their hero names, Signal and Nightwing, are parallels of each other (light and dark). Batman’s first sidekick and his last. And, like Nightwing, Signal formed his own team (WAR) with no help from the others (except Alfred ig).

Of course, the entire point of Signal’s character is that he's not just a Robin. He's something different. It reminds me of that post that's like—’poor dick grayson, originator of a legacy he never meant to be a legacy, crushed with guilt and jealousy when he looks at all those who came after’. To me at least, it makes sense that Nightwing’s successor would've never been a Robin at all.

[triviallytrue]

Watching something as iconic as NGE is kinda funny because every now and then something happens and you're like "oh! that guy! from tumblr!"

General thoughts:

Poor Shinji. Dude keeps getting put in situations.

The Ender's Game comparison keeps coming up for me - child soldiers utterly essential to the cause. The big difference is that they are just completely flubbing their psychological management in NGE - in Ender's Game they had eyes on the kids 24/7 and maintained in-depth psychological profiles on all of them, whereas in NGE they have loads of money and manpower focused on maintaining the EVAs but their equally-essential pilots are just... going to school. Shinji got punched and they didn't know!

And what is Misato's deal, anyway? She's in her 20s and has a crazy amount of authority (she just requisitioned all of Japan's power) and they're just kinda... letting her manage Shinji? It's not her job, but she's just doing it? She's his commanding officer but also his mom/sister, which is a really bad combo. Also I don't think I'm imagining the grooming undertones, those seem intentional.

The real motivator for someone like Shinji is (of course) his social connections - the two schoolkids and Rei, and then maybe to some degree Misato, and then even more distantly his father. Kids don't put themselves through severe distress just for the abstract concept of "saving the world," especially a world that has thus far been very unkind to them. To bring back the Ender's Game comparison, this feels like a very deliberate point that Graff and friends were aware of (the way they used Valentine as a strategic resource) but in NGE it seems to be mostly happenstance that Shinji made some human connections before completely shutting down.

Rei thus far is an interesting foil to Shinji. Normally I get kind of put off by scenes like the one where he walks in on her, but it gives you a lot of important information about both of them. Shinji, underneath all the abandonment issues and repression, is still a pretty normal kid - awkward, horny in that embarrassing adolescent way, deeply self-conscious. Rei is alien (or perhaps just very autistic). She just doesn't clock 90% of the tension at all. She pilots the EVA without complaint (though perhaps with equal psychological distress, just heavily repressed). She also gets along very well with his shitass dad, which is revealing in its own way.

I'm told there is another child, a red haired one, named Asuka(?), the thus-far only implied Second Child. Wonder why she isn't here yet?

I heard that it was some kind of twist that the EVAs were alive in some sense, but doesn't that naturally follow from the first couple episodes? Unit 01 moves to save Rei without a pilot and then goes berserk to kill the angel. Maybe there's more to the twist that I don't know yet.

What's up with the angels? Why are they here, what do they want, what are they exactly? Who cares. They are a plot device in purest form - they enable the rest of the show, but the show is not meaningfully "about" them. They didn't half-ass it though - the designs are absolutely phenomenal.

Oh, and there's some second project NERV is working on, a human transformation thing that got mentioned once and never again. That will probably be important eventually.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if I told my best friend they can no longer move in with my family next year?

Me (17f) and my friend (17) have been friends for about 5 years. Around 6 months ago we were discussing university and they mentioned they wanted to study at the university that is in my city. We discussed them potentially moving into my house while they study here. They would still be paying rent, it would just be a bit cheaper for them and we would get to live together. I discussed this with my parents and after a while they said yes. 

The problem is recently I haven't actually been feeling very supported or understood by my friend. This feeling kinda started when I expressed doubt about being able to succeed in the career I have been working towards because my mental health is shit and idk if I can deal with the pressure involved, and they said that they were glad I reached this conclusion myself because they didn't think I could do it either. Which kinda hurt yk like they were correct and I have switched plans as of now, but I feel they couldve been nicer. Other than that I feel like neither of have done anything wrong I just think this is an aging thing, we're no longer 13 and have changed in similar ways, but I've begun to realise the way we see the world is vastly different. Also we recently keep getting into petty arguments, which is kinda my fault bc im autistic and have very strong opinions and never know when to shut up, but they're also like that we're both just very stubborn and opinionated people. Basically I feel the friendship isn't as strong as it once was and I don't like the idea of having to live with them during uni (also dont really like the idea of living with anyone tbh I fucking hate socialising and want to live alone). 

I feel like it's important to mention that although them living with me is cheaper, their family is financially very stable so they could comfortably afford to live in the uni halls or some apartment. Telling them they can't live with me wouldn't be financially that bad, its more so that I said they could and I feel that going back on my word might be quite cruel? 

Also recentlyish we've been making plans of living together and buying a house etc and yeah basically a lot of commitments have been made at a young age and I feel quite trapped. Also feels relevant to add that this feeling is definitely not mutual and they have no idea I feel this way, I'm 99% sure they are still very eager to go through with all this. I'm generally quite a communicative person, it's just these are all pretty new feelings and I'm not sure exactly what I feel.

Also sorry another thing that's probably relevant, they're aroace and our relationship idk what it is but I think it kinda goes deeper than the average friendship its kinda like a qpr but not lol.

So yeah wibta if I told them they couldn't live in my house for uni and should find somewhere else?

What are these acronyms?

[the-force-awakens]

with it officially being disability pride month, I wanna talk about my favorite disabled headcanon, which is for the one and only, my most beloved Poe Dameron. Buckle up, because this is a long post.

I actually have a few different disability headcanons, most of which hold up to canon/are extrapolated from canon, so we'll keep that in mind as we go through. I expect this to have about...four parts total. Let's go!

Hard of Hearing

I think a good case can be made that Poe is hard of hearing, with a few instances that could point to this fact, primarily the very beginning of the Rise of Skywalker. Even though Chewie is sitting right beside Poe, Poe does not understand what Chewie has said, because his head is turned (at no other point does Poe have any problem understanding Chewbacca, so we know it is not a linguistics issue)

It's only when he turns towards Chewie and Chewie repeats what he said that Poe understands what was said. There's also the frankly adorable moment in The Last Jedi that's extremely easy to miss, because it's a far away shot and we just barely catch what Poe says:

BB-8 is beeping so fast trying to catch Poe up that Poe has to request that he slow down so Poe can understand him. Other possible evidence of him being HoH (beyond the comical amount of explosions he's constantly caught in) is that there are several shots where we see Poe carefully watching the lips of the person he's speaking to as they're talking, as if that might help him keep up.

And (I don't have a gif of this lmao I'm not giffing him getting hurt) when Poe gets shot in tros, @/dameronalone pointed out it could be evidence he didn't hear the approaching stormtroopers when he turned to look the other way. @/hermitmoss has also pointed to his line at the start of tfa while being snarky at Kylo as further possible evidence, about how it's hard to understand Ren with the voice modulator.

Essential Hand Tremor

Another fact pointed out to me by @/hermitmoss (thanks Braigwen) is that when Poe goes to cover Leia's hand with his own in the Last Jedi, we see that his hand is shaking:

I later noticed that this isn't the only time that we see Poe do this, we see it again in the Rise of Skywalker, where he cannot keep his blaster steady as Rey approaches the serpent at all.

These are the only two circumstances I can find of his hands trembling in the movies, though, and we know from plenty of other scenes that Poe ordinarily can keep a blaster extremely steady:

Autism & ADHD

Okay this one I don't consider to be a headcanon, lmfao. I genuinely believe that Poe was intentionally coded as autistic/ADHD by Oscar Isaac.

Oscar playing/coding Poe as something that is never explicitly confirmed by Disney is far from new: Poe is coded as a bisexual (or pansexual) man, because that's how Oscar Isaac saw Poe and chose to play him, and even if we weren't gifted with it being made explicit, it's still there in his performance.

If you happen to be a fan of Oscar Isaac, or just a Marvel and Star Wars fan both, you'll know he starred in the Disney+ series Moon Knight last year as the Moon Knight system (Steven Grant, Marc Spector, and Jake Lockley).

Shortly after the first episode premiered, Oscar Isaac revealed in an interview that while trying to figure out who Steven was as a person, he came up with the idea that the system be on the Autism Spectrum, and approached Marvel to see if he could include it into his performances, and it was green-lit.

The Lunar system is the best intentional autistic representation I've ever seen, there are so many things they do that are so minor that I doubt most people would ever consider to include, but they are things that me and my friends do.

And there's an overlap in how Oscar plays the various autistic habits and traits of the Lunar system in how he portrays Poe. Most notably, Poe and Marc have extremely similar meltdowns:

There's plenty more overlap (Poe does the same anxious stim Steven does, of rubbing the inside of his index finger with his thumb) but there's so much there I'm not sure where all to begin. I have gone more in depth on the various autistic traits Poe shows throughout the films in this gifset here, though.

I'll go ahead and include some of the moments we see him stimming, that I have evidence of:

(he also does this same hand thing when he starts to leave BB-8 and promises to come back.)

We also see him fidgeting anxiously with his hands during the briefing in the last jedi:

Poe also has a habit of running his tongue along his bottom lip while he's stressed or thinking something through. Here's three examples from across the trilogy (there are plenty more):

We're leaning a little closer into ADHD territory now. I don't really know how to explain why I think Poe is ADHD, to be quite honest, besides the fact that he just radiates ADHD energy to me and I heavily relate. This is a man who cannot stay still, and frequently talks with his hands:

But there's also the fact that Poe oftentimes has a tendency to not be able to fully see the potential of negative outcomes to his decisions - he sees point a to point b, and sometimes becomes laser focused on that. It's something I understand perfectly, because it's hard for me to pull away from something I've already fully committed to doing, and it's even more difficult sometimes for me to truly understand what (and what kind of) consequences my actions will have.

Other evidence of him being extremely autistic (and adhd) is just....that he makes autistic expressions?

Like this...is an autistic expression, I've seen my best friend make this exact fucking face before, I don't know how else to explain it.

Misc Thoughts

Aside from the above, it's pretty much canon that Poe has anxiety and depression — at the very least, Poe Dameron: Free Fall by Alex Segura certainly does not shy away from the suggestion, and is one of the most implicit portrayals we have of it outside the films — it is a series of catastrophizing his circumstances that leads Poe to joining Zorii for a little while as a teenager, following a joyride that ended in a crash that Poe explicitly wishes he had not survived.

The movies themselves also points to Poe having PTSD, partially through the writing but mostly due to the nuanced and thoughtful performance Oscar Isaac gives as Poe (that goes....woefully underappreciated, seriously he adds so much depth to every single scene as Poe, including the thread of anxiety in Poe's voice when Rey mentions Ren's ship is over Kijimi, or constantly looking out to make sure they're not being followed in tros).

(Good expanded material follows through on this, such as Poe's reluctance to discuss anything about what happened aboard the Finalizer in the Poe Dameron: Flight Log, and becoming irate at the thought of having to. He's an extremely traumatized man, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be thrown out of an airlock jfc and he isn't as arrogant as the fascist regime he is fighting, tbh he's not arrogant at all).

Conclusion

I believe that sums up the majority of my Poe is disabled thoughts, or at least the ones that I think holds up very well within the canon framework. He's extremely disabled and - in the case of being neurodivergent - this is critical to understanding him as a character, especially considering his arc ends up being focused on interdependence.

I wish all fellow disabled folk a happy pride month, and I wish all very ableds a very "please do not be ableist on this post". You will be blocked otherwise.

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

Christine Canigula was socially ostracized & developed a complex to protect herself: an essay

(suddenly i NEED to infodump about Christine actually so here)

Something I only noticed on rewatch: the way Christine will say something silly and then just kind of gingerly wait to see if Jeremy reacts well to it before continuing, almost like she's asking permission?? (e.g. the gap after the first stanza of "Play Rehearsal"). And it's only after he riffs off her bowling alley bit that she feels comfortable talking about her personal feelings with him (right before "Guy that I'd Kinda be Into"). The same happens with their "weird noise" exchange immediately before "It's pretty killer to sit and chat with you." I know theater relies on being succinct, and that 'bonding over shared quirks' and 'feelings talk' are both just crucial parts of relationship development... but I don't think it's a coincidence that it always goes in that order!

It's like Jeremy has to pass these *trials of weirdness* before she feels safe opening up to him and it drives me BONKERS so I wrote a whole 1000 word thing about it under the cut and this got too massive and I'm sorry. Also some autistic Jeremy meta at the end if that sweetens the pot hehehe

Table of contents:

Why she was ostracized

How she was ostracized

How that might inform her pattern of relationship development with Jeremy and Jake

How gender caused Jeremy's experiences to differ from hers, and how that affects their current relationships with "popularity" and peer acceptance.

1. Why she was ostracized

I am just so certain that Christine has been bullied or at least majorly outcast for a lot of her life. She's very obviously neurodivergent and because of that she can have these obnoxiously deep and repetitive interests, she can't judge if a piece of information will be genuinely interesting to someone, and she doesn't take social cues very well.

She frequently interrupts people when they're talking (an ADHD symptom btw), even when they're literally talking to her about the thing she wants to hear!

(C: "Do you find that? Because I totally find that!" J: "Uh, yeah, I-" C: "-And no matter how hard I try....")

(J: "I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but-" C:"Jeremy, just... say what's on your mind.") (girl I'm sorry but that's what he was doing..... I have a whole other thoughtpiece on how this particularly fucks with Jeremy while they're dating but thats another thing...)

She doesn't seem confident in her interpretations of people's emotions and she'll ask/talk about them point blank (both theirs and her own) in a way a lot of people would find rude

("Uh, you seem really nervous...") ("Popular people are fucked up! *mutual laughter* …I mean, you're one of them!") ("I am flattered, this is new / still I'm not sure what I should do" <- as a response to getting asked out, that's pretty bold! Plus the entire part where she laughs at Jake's "rich boy routine") (also compare and contrast to Jeremy's "I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." idk. are your allistic stage dorks in the room with us right now motherfuckers)

I'd go on about her hyperfixations/special interests too but I think Play Rehearsal pretty much sums it up lol

2. How she was ostracized

All this to say that I am CERTAIN she spent a lot of her schooling having "nice girls" patiently let her sit with them at lunch for weeks at a time until they finally get sick of her rambling and faux pas. Only when they leave does Christine realize that they didn't actually care about anything she said... And this happens over and over and over. (I know this seems hella specific but I swear it's an actual phenomenon... at least I'm pretty sure? sdjflksjf)

But anyway, it's clear that by the time they're juniors, Christine has kind of (and I do only mean kind of) figured out what behaviour other people respond poorly to. And from evidence I stated in the intro, I think she's become really careful about which people she lets herself get attached to. She doesn't want this to ever happen again - which means if she's going to hang out with someone, she has to know that they actually care about her, that they know she will sometimes be obnoxious or blunt, and they'll still be okay with that forever.

3. Applying this to her canon relationships

You can extend this to Jake, someone who sees her in her element in drama rehearsal (the thing everyone finds annoying about her because she won't shut up about it) and STILL likes her. I think it's a totally valid reading that her bluntness with him later ("Upgrade") is just because she misreads him / doesn't quite get the social standard that she should be white lying instead. But I think you could also read her as testing the waters. If she's really going to commit to dating this guy, she's gotta know he's okay with her being herself. And the fact that this guy (and I think it's significant that he is a boy, for reasons I'll explain in the end note) genuinely seems to like her is a whole new level of peer validation ("I am flattered, this is new") -- so of course she's gonna fall at least a little! It doesn't hurt that he's "tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am..." just like her!

Her history with being pity-liked makes Chloe's "advice," that Jake's just toying with her and is going to move on soon, even scarier, because that's genuinely happened to her (on a platonic level) so many times before.

Jeremy is also a good candidate from the beginning because he's weird he's a weirdo he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in you ever see him without this stupid cardigan on? that's weird! And she keeps warming up to him not only because they're getting to know each other but because he gets progressively more willing to not only tolerate (as Jake does) but *participate* in her weirdness!

First, she does something weird and he tolerates it ("Play Rehearsal"); the next time she's weird, he participates! (bowling ball before GTIKBI). Then finally finally finally he initiates the weirdness and lets her join in! ("weird noises" exchange before GTIKBI reprise).

And notably, it is THIS moment that canonically signifies that they've hit the apex of their canon relationship development. If there was an achievement called "Befriend Christine," it would have popped up right then and there!!!

IN CONCLUSION: YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM T_T

4: Christine vs. Jeremy: Gender differences & how that ultimately impacts their social goals

I also think all of this would have happened to Jeremy too if he'd been a girl. But because, generally, young boys feel less social obligation than girls to take pity on the autistic kid (and because boys tend to be more quickly recognized as autistic) he just ends up completely alone for most of his school life (Michael nonwithstanding - and yeah there's an important distinction between your childhood friend putting up with you and knowing that, woah, I guess literally nobody else ever will).

Meanwhile, Christine has had people "put up" with her, and she's SICK OF IT!

That's part of why their complexes are so different, because Christine is trying to check everyone she meets to make sure they'll be okay with her weirdness before she gets attached, Jeremy is trying to eliminate his weirdness altogether because he's never even experienced his peers listening out of *pity* so how the hell can he expect someone to ever listen to him out of *interest?*

Jeremy has never had someone pretend to like him before, so he completely lacks Christine's fear of befriending someone who secretly hates you. He doesn't realize how bad it'll hurt him if he destroys his real self for popularity, if he befriends people who would have bullied his real self. He doesn't know what disingenuous friendship feels like, so like a very young Christine he's still actively trying to get there because he thinks it's the only kind of validation he'll ever get.

Do you see what im saying? Do you see it???? AUAUGUGUUGGH

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! If you have thoughts or even rebuttals please share i am so desperate to discuss the blorbos

[cy-cyborg]

Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!

Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.

I only really have 3 suggestions:

decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.

Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.

Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.

Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:

Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.

I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.

Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias

Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.

[transmutationisms]

possibly too broad but do you have any thoughts on the discourse around self-pathologizing? seems like there’s weird territory there since there are so many barriers to diagnoses and people should be free to self-report, yet some pathologies are essentially capitalist inventions and it may be more harmful than helpful for people to fixate on them without some kind of external guidance (though i don’t mean to imply they need to consult medical practitioners). i also don’t really think faddishness is the big concern it’s made out to be, but what do you think?

yeah to me this is a good example of how genuinely epistemologically radical critique of psychiatry can become assimilated into pretty staid liberal discourses of self-empowerment / -care / -improvement. pathologisation, imo, is basically materially meaningless if it's not backed by the sorts of institutions and power relations that characterise the psychiatric establishment. which is to say, if we're only talking about diagnostic labels in a kind of personal-choice framework (as so much of the medium dot com industrial complex seems to be doing lately) then it robs these conversations of a lot of their urgency and impact. i don't think overreliance on the language of the dsm is particularly helpful, as a general matter of seeking to develop political consciousness as well as self-knowledge, but i also don't think it really matters one way or another if someone self-dxes or un-dxes. what makes a difference is things like: is this person being robbed of their autonomy? are these explanatory frameworks being imposed on them by credentialled experts levelling their professional status to claim epistemological authority over the psyche? what social and economic violence is being committed here? some rando online relating to a diagnostic label and using it for themself is not doing these things, and may very well be helpful to that person (it may also not. but again the harm here is p limited).

i have said before, a lot of what puts me personally off dsm labels is the essentialism they're in bed with. ie, it's not just a shorthand descriptor of behaviours or symptoms—these terms are pretty much always being wielded as claims to have identified a biologically based 'neurotype', eg, or some as-yet-unverifiable misery-engendering genetic complex, or whatever else. and to be clear, i think these types of claims do actually carry widespread social harm, because no matter what rhetorical games you play, you're never just saying these things about yourself. it's a claim to certain forms of bio-essentialism that both shores up professional psychiatric authority and applies to people besides yourself (this is just the nature of such universalising claims about human biology). but this is an issue that goes so far beyond use or disuse of diagnostic labels; plenty of people who have embraced superficial principles of anti-psych critique still make all manner of such essentialist claims when it comes down to it, with or without grabbing onto a specific diagnostic label. so i think the kind of panicking we see in certain left-leaning circles about self-dx is not actually about this issue at all, and is certainly not capable of addressing it productively.

without going insanely long here i would just add that this is kind of a general answer because different labels have different histories and functions (eg, compare the social and political function of pathologising a depressive episode, vs autistic traits / behaviours, vs a so-called personality disorder). and also, whenever talking about self-dx i think it's important to add that one of the most important functions of these labels from a patient perspective is they function as means of gatekeeping access to certain accessibility measures, so any kind of anti-self dx position in current political conditions will harm people who need those accommodations. and i have less than zero interest in questioning anybody who wants accessibility measures for literally any reason or uses any method to obtain them.

[thefuzzzz]

What Pets I Think Different Karasuno Ships Would Have In The Future:

KageHina would have a turtle for reasons I do not know and cannot confirm but just suspect deep in my heart. Like, Hinata seems like the type to think turtles are cool and Kageyama seems like the type of guy to really like reptiles (they’re autistic. bite me.) Turtles can be left alone for a while, as long as they have food, water, the right habitat and someone to at least check in on them daily, so I think it would fit their super fast paced pro volleyball player lives.

DaiSuga would have this giant ass ex-police dog that retired after working with Daichi for a while. It’d be a really sweet, but huge, German shepherd that lives only to torment Suga. It’s Daichi’s dog, but will happily stand directly under Suga’s feet while he’s trying to do literally anything. Suga pretends to hate it, but Daichi has like a million of those “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” pictures of the two of them being pals when Suga thinks no one is looking. Sometimes Daichi brings his huge dog with him when he drives to pick Suga up from the school. All the kids love that dog, and Suga bends and lets Daichi bring it for career day one day. The kids lose their minds.

TsukiYama would have Yamaguchi’s childhood dog that I SWEAR he had in the manga, but I just googled it and I may be crazy or mixing him up with someone else. Either way, he has a childhood dog now. It’s this mega-old Shiba that they’re both convinced will outlive them. Tsukishima pretends to be indifferent about the dog, but he treats it like a king when no one is looking. They also have like a lizard or something because they seem like the types to have a lizard. Maybe like a frog. Idk, but a reptile of some kind that Tsukishima just stares at sometimes.

AsaNoya would have two cats (Asahi’s) and a dog (Noya’s). It took the two of them a while to settle down, due to the nature of their careers, but after they did Asahi kept finding cats outside their house and begging Noya to let him keep them. Noya, of course, folds. They're both pretty scuffed-up alley cats, but they adjust to domestic life. I imagine that they’re both special needs cats of some kind and Asahi takes insanely good care of them. Noya decides that he needs a little high-energy friend, and they get a border collie. Noya very frequently goes on runs and stuff with it while Asahi stays home and cuddles with his cats. The dog is very gentle with the cats, and they like to cuddle pile while their humans take a million pictures of them.

TanaKiyo would have literally the dumbest looking pit bull with the biggest heart and a super sassy pretty white cat. The pittie is a super sweet older dog that Tanaka had for a long time, but is still super playful and silly. The cat is Kiyoko’s little princess, and is treated as such. That cat is a menace. Constantly antagonizes everyone and is so mean for no reason. Tanaka threatens to sell it daily. The only thing stopping him is how much Kiyoko loves it.

(P.S. I haven’t watched the show in a while and am just going through my annual summer Haikyuu withdrawals, so please excuse anything that’s OOC. Also, sorry if there’s a ship you don’t particularly like. I’m a huge multishipper, and would love to see your interpretations of other ships in the replies or reblogs!!! I sadly don’t know enough about the other teams to make one of these for them, so feel free to ham it up and make one of your own! Tag me tho cuz I wanna see lol)

[radio-cryptid]

I am once again being autistic. It's autism acceptance month, which means you have to listen to me (that is a joke).

I'm thinking about Franziska von Karma as autistic. Her being so blunt and mean and I just love her.

Thinking about Maya Fey being so unapologetically autistic in the opposite way.

Welcome to some of my FranMaya autism heacanons.

PLEASE NOTE that I am autistic. None of this is supposed to be babying or degrading. Most of this is based on my own (or friends) experiences as an autistic person

Headcanons under the cut

|| Headcanons ||

Franziska stims using her whip (no shit)

Maya fidgets with her magatama (again no shit)

Franziska has problems with textures in food. She is very blunt about it, but in the way of "I can’t eat this." and a lot of people think she's just being snobby.

Adding onto previous, she doesn't like touching food with her hands.

One of Maya’s comfort foods are hamburgers.

This leads to her and Franziska sitting eating hamburgers in very different ways. Franziska got a fork and knife, while Maya just uses her hands.

Manfred Von Karma was not aware of autism beyond it’s stereotypes before Franziska got diagnosed. He puts in a lot of research into it later.

Side note, but I feel like either Franziska, mvk, or miles have sued autism speaks or at least prosecuted a case against them.

She doesn't have meltdowns as often as she should.

She deems them selfish, attention seeking, and childish. She doesn’t let herself have them. However, when she does have them, they're quite bad.

Both Maya and Franziska have too many layers on them at most times, and when overwhelmed, that is a living hell.

Franziska loves talking about the differences between japanifornia and Germany's legal systems (her special interest is law. I mean, she became a prosecutor at 13.) And Maya loves to listen.

She loves having debates with people but doesn't realise when they turn into actual arguments.

She and Maya are really good at finding that line between fun argument and real fight.

She doesn't understand why people find her scary. When they’re not going against her in court, they shouldn't have anything to fear in her mind.

She is very upfront about being autistic when she feels its needed. She doesn't go around informing strangers, but if someone asks her why she acts a certain way she may just straight up say "I'm autistic."

In the same vain, Maya makes jokes about her own autism a lot.

Maya vocal stims a lot, she makes random noises and quotes shows. Franziska tends to repeat these notices back to her.

Maya randomly: woop woop!

Franziska without hesitation: woop woop!

Maya infodumps about the Steel Samurai lore, and Franziska ends up taking notes. She doesn’t like the show, but she likes to hear about it from Maya. Sometimes a new episode of the pink princess drops or a leak for new merch and Maya will be like "FRANZY YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED" and Franziska will listen intently.

Maya gets overwhelmed at fancy dinners, there's so many unfamiliar social rules and etiquette she has to learn.

It's too much but she doesn't want to ruin anything for Franziska who invited her. Franziska notices this and immediately goes "We will leave now." With no further explanation. Maya’s later like "hey uuhh, why did we leave?" And Franziska equally confused is just like "You were uncomfortable and overwhelmed. Where you not? I don't want you to be uncomfortable, " and she says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and maya just melts.

Maya is the overly expressive type of autistic and Franziska is the blank face type of autistic. They compliment each other.

Maya uses Franziska as a weighted blanket.

Both of them get easily attached to inanimate objects.

Maya once gave Franziska the advice of using that kind of attachment to trick her own brain.

"Like, I once managed to get through a day of spirit training because I promised my necklace we would do it"

Franziska now promises her whip things it'll get to see and/or accompany her for, as a way of beating procrastination

I just love two autistic people helping each other and understanding each other.

Bonus!

Franziska will sometimes look to Phoenix when doing something that people react weirdly to. Idk why, but I love the idea of them being friends in a very specific way. She'll say something and then look over to Wright being like "too direct?" And he'll do that little unsure back and forth with his hand.

Maya also relies a lot on Nick for some social rules. Like when Edgeworth was behind bars and telling them to laugh at him and she earnestly goes, "Should we be laughing???"

Oh also. @musashi I feel like this is a post you may enjoy, and some of these are inspired by your video about Franziska. I'd also love to hear if you have any similar headcanons.

[theravenkin]

been thinking a lot about low-empathy adam parrish (via @parrishwife here and @crimeronan here ) and i'd like to add that i also think ronan is low-empathy, but in a different way, and that this difference is what causes most of the conflict between them (in this essay i will-)

so basically, in very simple psychological terms there are two main sides to empathy. on one side, you've got cognitive empathy- the ability to see things from another person's perspective in an objective manner and understand why they might be feeling a certain way even if you don't feel "for" them; however, you might think that they are overreacting. then there's emotional empathy, which is when you see someone having strong emotions or going through something tough and you feel "for" them, sometimes literally; you might feel nausea or pains in your chest from experiencing someone else in emotional pain, or you might feel elated when someone else is happy or excited. that doesn't necessarily mean, though, that you can see things from that person's perspective; even if you feel for someone, you might not think that they're coming from a place that matters because you can't put yourself in their position. when both of these main types of empathy are present, then you can also have compassionate empathy, which is like both working together- you feel for someone and can see things from their perspective. people with low empathy may struggle with both of the main types of empathy, but some may only struggle with one while maybe being hyper-empathetic in the other type; i'm pretty sure the latter is common among autistic people. i, for one, have very strong emotionally empathetic reactions to things, but i have a really hard time seeing things from others perspectives; so while i may feel really bad for someone, it can be hard for me to understand why they feel bad in the first place.

okay. now. blorbo thoughts.

i think that while adam has an easier time with cognitive empathy (though still struggles with it a bit), he has not developed a very strong sense of emotional empathy at all. whereas, on the other hand, i think ronan is hyperempathic when it comes to pure emotions, but has a very very hard time with cognitive empathy; the way he thinks tends to be more egocentric, meaning it's hard for him to remember that other people don't always think, feel, or process the same way he does (this is what i struggle with, personally, but i think ronan struggles a whole lot more with it).

i could go pulling a bunch of textual evidence, and god do i want to, but lord i ain't got the time. so im just gonna point out a couple things ronan does: he often hugs and comforts people when he feels that they're upset (and he often notices when people are upset before others do, when they're trying to hide it etc) but he doesn't care if these people want to be hugged- he just does it. the only person he doesn't do this with is adam, i think because adam is one person ronan works really hard to understand. ronan also tends to say things without thinking or caring about how they might make people feel, but he still feels so strongly himself (re: bronan "i'm not proud of it" "i'll be proud for you", ronan, read the room). he feels for every dreamer, even those he hasn't met yet, and that empathy drives him so crazy he goes and does a bunch of questionable things in order to try to make things better for people. but he cannot imagine any justification for why adam didn't text him back within a couple hours other than that adam now hated him suddenly (essentially, can't understand how adam doesn't know what ronan is thinking without communicating it).

ronan's inner monologue is very frequently about himself and how he's feeling; when he talks about others, he describes what they say and do and look like, but can't seem to explain how they think or why. adam, in comparison, is constantly psychoanalyzing the people around him, trying to understand why they do what they do and how they tick. part of this is his analytic nature and part of it is the remnants of a survival tactic- the need to understand his abuser, get inside their head, in order to avoid or prevent the next blow. but i think, too, all this analyzing has divorced him from feeling strongly for others, once again, as a survival tactic/coping mechanism- because he believes that as soon as he feels for someone, he becomes them and loses his autonomy. this is only beneficial when dealing with abusers, though. so when he's dealing with his loved ones, adam has to parse through their actions, codify their behaviors and what they mean, and establish heuristics of how they think in order for him to not cross a line and hurt them without meaning to. i feel like i can say more on this but it's late and im tired and i am no psychologist, just autistic and insane about characters

so i think that this difference is a lot of what makes pynch work (the impulse/impulse control dynamic or the right brain/left brain dynamic, but much much deeper and more complex obvs). but i also think that this is where most of their conflict comes from. ronan feels so deeply for and about adam, so much so that he doesn't know how to process it and it eats him alive. but even still, he can't quite understand why adam works the way he does, why his motivations are what they are, why he holds the values he does; usually, ronan just accepts that adam is adam and life goes on, but sometimes ronan gets so frustrated that he can't just accept that adam does things that- to ronan- make 0 sense. (think of the garage fight scene, just before the hand lotion, where ronan tells adam he should just quit school- a pretty tone deaf thing to say, knowing adam, but ronan was getting frustrated and couldn't understand why adam needed to keep working himself to death.) then there's adam, who typically understands where ronan is coming from, but doesn't understand why ronan feels so strongly about things, especially other people- especially him. he struggles to understand why ronan keeps helping him despite being told not to- which is why ronan does things without asking (ie, the rent), because he knows adam won't understand. adam may understand where ronan is coming from, but sometimes he just may not care. he doesn't want ronan to feel badly, but it's hard to motivate yourself to do something about it when you can't understand what the fuss is all about. think about the fight over the green mantle envelope: to adam, it's practical and logical, and he doesn't understand why the whole thing is upsetting to ronan or why he should care- if it gets the job done, doesn't matter how unpleasant the process is. ronan, however, doesn't care as much about practical; he can't understand why adam thinks this is okay, because he has such a hard time understanding that others have different values and priorities than he does.

anyway. this took so long to write. someone please read it and understand what i'm saying.

[simonsfish]

I want to talk about Sara, because there's this tendency to dismiss her part in her own relationship with August, like because she's maybe new to relationships and because she's neurodivergent, she got tricked into being with him or taken advantage of or something, and I'm just not seeing it.

At the end of s1, Sara is explicitly taking her own future in her hands. I think that's actually one of the reasons that August even considered her a possible partner - instead of acting in the interest of other people (namely, Simon), she cuts a deal with August that serves her own interests. I think he really values that attitude, that sometimes you need to sacrifice things to get ahead, and the importance of self-motivation to get the things you want. So in that moment, she's embodying in that moment the things he values.

I think the moment Sara gets interested in August is after he kisses her in the stables. She didn't care about him either way but once he shows that tiny bit of interest she starts to consider him. And Sara explicitly wants what Felice has in s1--she wants the fancy clothes and the living on campus and the rich people sensibilities and yeah, maybe the boyfriend, too. And then once she starts thinking about it, it's easy to want those things so badly that she starts acting in service of actually gaining those things, even if that means sacrificing something of her own moral compass.

By s2, she feels this connection with August because they're the only ones who know what he did, and the only ones who know what she did to get herself ahead and live at Hillerska. I think as she spends more time with the girls and gets more of the ideas of what you're supposed to feel with a boy you love, she wants to actually try that out. Like, in a really standard teen need to experience everything kind of way. Yeah, the fact that she's autistic (as am I, the author of this post) influences the fact that she doesn't know all of the things the other girls take for granted in re: sex and love and how to navigate things with boys. But it doesn't really have anything to do with her drive to want to experience those things, and it's not about innocence as much as her not having friends at her old school and being less experienced because of that (and I think probably Simon is a little too overprotective, a thing he can't be in s2 when she's living away from home).

I also think it's maybe worth mentioning, that the girls initially accept Sara into their friend group because Felice likes her but also because she's kind of an anomaly at this school--she's not rich, she does things differently, and she looks to them in a way they don't look at each other. So like when she's questioning things they all know, they're kind of treating it like aw, honey most of the time. Until she steps on a social norm that they don't like, and then it's well, she never knew how to act, of course not. (which, honestly kudos to YR because that is a very real experience)

Anyway, back to August. Sara has agency the whole way through, she's just making bad decisions. She goes to him because she wants to sleep with him, she spends time with him because she likes it. She's not a poor little girl who thinks she's in love but she's being taken advantage of, she's a girl in love who makes some bad decisions because of it. Like, teenage love is SO STRONG because it's usually a newer emotion, and YR shows how that strength of emotion can lead to both good and bad decisions.

Plus, August genuinely likes Sara, too. Partly that's because he assumes she's more like him than she actually is. And partly because it seems like his idea of dating is usually really tied into clout chasing (ahem, Felice) and how to hold his status. Sara doesn't offer him anything status-wise, she's just actually into him, and she might line up with him in terms of goals. That's gotta be refreshing. Also, I love the part where he calls himself King and her Queen before promising not to hurt her. Like, that just hammers home the idea that he sees her as an equal not in status but in terms of like. morals, I guess? And that she sees this kindness in him that she thinks only she gets to see because they're in love, not because he usually hides it away since it doesn't benefit him personally in the world he lives in.

This is reinforced when August buys Rousseau and thinks that will stop Sara from leaving him after she finds out how he's been threatening Simon and taking everything but accountability for his own actions. Legitimately, August seems to think that she will support him, because she supported him with this secret before, and because, like him, she wants the personal status gain and can understand why he acts the way he does. The horse should prove his love, and the other things are just par for the course, baby, you get it, right?

She doesn't, though, and this isn't the point where we should be going oh no, August has been tricking this poor girl and she just finally is taking her life in her hands. It's the point where both of them are like shit, you aren't the person I thought you were, and it's because both of them make these big sweeping assumptions because that's easier than questioning really strong feelings like love and potentially losing that love right away. Sara sees that he's not the person she thought, but in a lot of ways, her whole story has been in her control.

She's just like Simon--young and in love and making choices that might blow up in her face and might make her see she's been wearing those rose-colored love glasses. But hell, at the time, those choices were the only ones to make, those choices were hers to make. Just because she chose badly doesn't mean she wasn't really choosing.

I just really love Sara, and I love how her neurodivergence is woven into the fabric of her story lines, but it's not the biggest thing. It's just like, how she sees the world, but she's still responsible for her own actions, and she's acting on love just like everyone else. And in high school, sometimes that means being in love with a boy who genuinely isn't very good for you.

[pigeonwit]

hi i was last anon (i was nervous sorry) uhhh can u give us more thoughts on transfem jack…

i just think its one of those headcanons that just,,, makes SENSE yknow. its not my default for jack as a character but its one of those things that clicks into place and makes you go 'ohhhh yeah. yeah that'd make sense.' like a big thing for jack as a character is they're never allowed to express any vulnerability in the show. they HAVE to be the leader, they HAVE to be the protector, they HAVE to be this one-note hypermasculine force that everyone they care about can rely on and everyone who could threaten them will be intimidated by and its killing them. the only times jack is openly vulnerable is when they're by themself in 'santa fe', with katherine in 'something to believe in', and ONE line with davey ('its good to have you back again' 'shut up') and even then thats debatable. and jack being transfem really recontextualizes that because vulnerability of any kind is still to this day considered feminine and (especially for those who are viewed as masculine) weak. which just makes it more poignant when jack is allowed to be vulnerable imo.

i dont know if jack would be able to be open about their identity in canon era right away. jack the cowboy is a persona that keeps them protected, and they need to maintain that for as long as they're a newsie. but i think they'd trust some people with it. medda would be a big one; she creates this very safe place for jack in the theatre, its one of the only two places in the show we're able to see jack show their innermost feelings. i like to think that through this soft and reassuring place she makes for jack, she encourages them to be more Them. like if jacks a little too enamoured with the stage makeup the bowery beauties use, or if they stare at the feathers a little too long. i think medda's the one they feel safest and most assured expressing femininity around.

(btw fuck you *psychically airdrops jack in bowery beauty makeup into your mind*)

that being said, i think spot's a close second. spot's always been the one to say that being a girl doesnt make her weak, but being tough doesn't make her any less a girl, either - and i know a lot of fanon believes they had some kind of sibling-ish relationship as they grew up, so there's got to be a lot of trust there. i like to think they bring jack to some girls poker games and all the other girls figure it out pretty quick - there are definitely some trans girls at brooklyn - and even if some of the brooklyn girls dont totally get it, they'll still respect it.

they'd obviously talk to katherine about it, but not right away, even when they do start seeing each other. katherine holds a lot more societal power than jack does so even though they've had their breakthrough together and know they can rely on one another and express their vulnerabilities to each other, i still think jack would be wary. i think the more they get to know katherine's life and the company she keeps (i know she's covered for bill and darcy SO much) they start opening up bit by bit. katherine's nothing but supportive. i know her autistic girl swag ass is looking for any kind of resource on gender nonconformity she can find.

davey and jack i imagine have pretty frequent conversations about feeling different, feeling wrong. imo, davey listens more than he talks (and he talks a LOT) so i think this is something davey might've picked up on before jack ever had to tell him. neither of them would have the vocabulary to explain it, but i don't think they'd need it. i like to think they agree to move in together as they grow older and leave the lodging house, and that davey goes out of his way to make sure jack feels comfortable expressing themself there, as its probably one of the only places they could.

crutchie is interesting because while he and jack are the closest friendship in newsies, in a way they're both constantly performing to each other - jack with their big 'run away to santa fe' fantasy and crutchie with his constant blend of pessimism and cockiness that keeps him from dreaming too big, but also from thinking of himself as small. so in a way i think crutchie is the person of jack's close circle that they tell last. and i think crutchie might privately be a bit hurt about that but i think he'd still understand why it had to be that way. and even then i dont think he's anything other than protective and supportive. big brother crutchie forever.

thats kind of it, i think. obviously in canon era its something that'd have to be kept under wraps but i think with jacks whole 'sensitive artist' lifestyle they'd eventually find a community where they can Be without judgement. but as it stands they have their family to rely on.

[kurtismcilroy]

RARRRRR IN A VERY LITTLE!LOKI MOOD. NEED TO KNOW ANY HEADCANONS OR LITERALLY ANYTHING. PLS TALK ABOUT LITTLE LOKI W ME IM DESPERATE I NEED SOMEONE TO ENDULGE W ME

AAAA I AM HAPPY TO OBLIGE!!

My headcanons for little Loki include:

Usually quite young, ranging from around newborn to 3 years old due to his past, but will sometimes go up to 5 or 6

She loves physical touch from her favourite people! For example, night time cuddles with her caregiver (e.g. you if you enjoy self insert content or perhaps Mobius ^^)

Loki's mischievousness fluctuates depending on the era you have. Thor 1 is hardly ever mischievous as they enjoy being so young, usually just doing something small to elicite a silly reaction from you ^^ Avengers Loki is very mischievous, loving to run around and sometimes disobey orders, but at the end of the day he really loves you and apologises if he crosses a line. Thor 2 Loki is like Avengers Loki but times like 5. Sometimes he's a bit of a pain, but they also just love you and want a reaction. Thor 3 Loki isn't the mischievous type much, maybe turning into a snake or stealing a dagger once in a while, but she loves to cuddle moreso. TVA Loki in season 1 would probably pull a few little pranks here and there, but season 2 Loki couldn't bear it. She'd just wanna snuggle and play the day away, so if a friend or variant did something that she deemed bad, she'd start stressing. But luckily her carer isn't strict and understands that they're all just children having fun ^^

He is such a big fan of pram/stroller rides, giggling and smiling everywhere she goes! If she isn't, it's because they've fallen asleep from being so soothed lol

If Mobius is big, then Loki's favourite playmate is OB. I think that they're both autistic and that's something they can bond over as they share similar experiences what with being isolated from society in different ways

Going back to physical touch, hugs and gentle touches to the back or face (e.g. like stroking your thumb slowly up and down his cheek) are enough to bring him down from a panic attack sometimes, or just to soothe them

Picture books!! They're a must-have in this littles house, she loves them especially before bed :D

Unfortunately that's all I have for now :( But thanks so much for your ask and I'm happy to discuss em anytime!! ^^