#it is very much the depth of characters there

[or-what-you-will]

What is a "daroga"?

In the late 19th century, Persian orthography was not yet standardized, and there was no standard romanization from the Persian alphabet to languages that use roman characters like French or English. When Leroux wrote Phantom, he would have had to make up his own romanization of the word داروغه based on the sounds in the word or use one from an existing dictionary.

This means that when you google the term “daroga” today, it’s often difficult to find more information about it, and often what does come up is about India or Mongolia. The word did come from Mongolian, but it was also very much used in the Persian empire. Today, there are different ways of spelling the word that better reflect the pronunciation in Persian. On top of this, romanizations often differ depending on which language you are using the word in, as different languages pronounce vowels differently.

An example from a Persian-French dictionary from the late 1800s romanizing and translating “daroga” into French. In English, the romanizations “darugha” and “darougheh” are a bit more common today when referencing "daroga" in the context of Persia or Iran. These romanizations help keep the vowel sound for و as “oo” rather than “oh” which is closer to its proper pronunciation.

IPA: [d̪ɒːɾuːˈɣe]

They functioned as more than just the chief of police. Depending on the city and time period, their roles varied. They were in charge of managing the bazaar (central market), catching thieves and punishing them, making sure that the vendors didn’t sell illegal goods, in some cases also levying taxes, and serving as a sort of mayoral figure. They also managed guards who would keep watch over palaces and the bazaar at night.

By the time the Qajar era came around (1789-1925), the role of “daroga” was greatly diminished. They had reputations for being corrupt and collecting money for their own benefits, and a lot of their duties were distributed among other officials. At the end of the 19th century, they were pretty much obsolete, as the shah sought to modernize, and eventually created a more westernized police force to replace the old system.

You can find more information in the following places:

Fiveable - a short list of basic facts

Encyclopaedia Iranica - in depth exploration of the organization of Persian cities throughout history (this site is a high quality resource for finding information on the history of Persia in English)

Sheriff`s position in Qajar era (1796-1896) - academic article discussing the role of the "daroga" in the Qajar era specifically (article in Persian only)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

What would you say are Silver's biggest flaws? 

I know that, like with the other characters in TWST, he has more nuance than what he at first seems; I've gradually become a big Silver fan ever since he got more focus on book 7, but I feel that I still don't have a good enough grasp of his character to fully talk about him without unintentionally simplifying him to his most known traits. Because when Silver comes up in conversation, most people tend to talk about the more positive aspects of his character, when even Kalim-who is considered another of the more amicable students/characters in the main cast and in-universe-has had his flaws talked about in more depth by fans and meta writers than Silver has. To me his most noticeable flaw is that he tends to blame himself or feel responsible for things that, as far as I could tell, were beyond his control and that there wasn't much more he could do about it, but I feel that there might be more than just that.

I’d say that Silver’s lack of self-worth and overdedication are his most significant flaws. (I’ve discussed the topic at length in this post, so please give that a read, as I will not be repeating myself here.) Some other notable shortcomings include, but are not limited to: being dense/air-headed (which impairs his relationships with peers), limited capacity to think beyond the literal or in relation to combat (he comments that the heels on boots can be used as weapons on a pinch and, when prompted by Vil to think of a beautiful thing, Silver replied “you, Vil.”), tendency to blame himself for issues caused by his sleeping curse, and having difficulty emoting (which leads to misunderstandings with peers).

I think the issue with discussing Silver’s flaws is that people often attribute most of his traits as being positive without realizing how truly bad too much of a good thing can be. For example, Silver is “diligent”, which is usually positive—bur Silver is so “diligent” to the point where he constantly apologizes for things out of his control, adopts extreme methods in an attempt to stay awake, and beats himself up for not being able to meet certain arbitrary expectations he set up for himself, which is negative. I also think another issue is that many players don’t read book 7 (which is where Silver gets his deepest characterization) because they get stuck on the increasingly difficult battles in late book 6. On the other hand, books 4 and 5 are very manageable (and so you’ll have more exposure to Kalim and his shortcomings, but not necessarily Silver’s).

Before I close off 💦 I’d like to gently remind you (and honestly anyone else reading this!) that you’re allowed to “fully talk” about whatever characters you want 🙂‍↕️ You’re bringing up the topic, which already demonstrates an interest in having a discussion about it. If you had never mentioned it at all, then this talk would never be happening and no progress would be made.

Who cares if you “unintentionally simplify” a character to their “most known traits”? Can’t that theoretically be a good thing since you’d be explaining the character in an easy-to-understand manner for others to use as a basis for their opinions? And even if the interpretation you give is the complete opposite of the character in canon, what’s the problem? There is still value and merit in an inaccurate works. It can teach people what they don’t believe is true, which is still useful to know. My point is, there is no right or wrong way to discuss characters and you should “fully talk” as you wish. It’s not like ONLY certain fandom authorities or “accredited” fans are “allowed” to talk about certain things 😭 Don’t be afraid to start the discussion yourself!

[sofiluv31112]

FIREWIND CANON FIREWIND CANON! + rant

Here have some FireWind art I have accommodated over the past few weeks.

Also some sketches of the AU I’ve made-

okay rant time about the hollysugar/eternalberry war cause the pride poster stuff came out right? Okay cool- we all saw Eternal and Holly there right? Right? Okay so yes we all saw the same thing right? OKAY COOL-NOW THAT WE AGREED ON IT.

WHY ARE YOU GROWN ASS HUMANS COMPLAINING OVER A DAMN SHIP??

Now this is coming from a #1 HOLLYTAYA SHIPPER. OH MY GOD I love Hollytaya. Best ship ever right?

“B-But EternalBerry is c-c-CAnoN!”

Let’s look at this poster together now shall we?

There you go a blurry pic. You see how all the “official” ships are NEXT to eachother? WoodChip, FireWind, SeaMoon, and those popstar girls that I forgot the ship name for. Are NEXT to eachother. Look at Eternal, she’s looking AT Holly while Holly is paying no mind to her.

Wanna know why?

BECAUSE THE SHIP IS CANONICALLY ONE-SIDED.

“B-b-but it’s not canon it’s there for promotion!”

ITS STILL CANON BUB IM SORRY TO TELL YOU GO CRY A RIVER.

They’re not gonna add straight characters on a PRIDE poster. That doesn’t make sense.

Eternal and Holly are both GAY. THEY’RE QUEER. Same with Ginderbrave (canonically bi) and Raspberry.

Look as someone who doesn’t care about Hollysugar. You can’t deny the fact Eternal had a big FAT crush on Holly- I mean have you SEEN ep 10? The episode seems very one sided. ITS STILL CANON EVEN IF ITS ONE-SIDED.

Don’t go crying saying “HOLLYTAYA BETTER”!!

As much as I LOVE and PREFER Hollytaya. Pitaya is not in this episode because ITS NOT THIER TIME. This ep is supposed to focus on HOLLY and HOLLY ONLY.

Please don’t attack eachother over this. Ship whatever you want as long as it’s legal. Eternalberry or Hollytaya- are both underrated ships with good depths and dynamics. Please PLEASE PLEASE stop attacking eachother.

Sofi out!

[queendaeron]

Some things I’d like to remind this fandom concerning Daemon and Daemyra:

It’s often the same old “Daemon didn’t have interactions with his children or with Rhaenyra” or “We don’t know how they felt about each other”

But remember this: GRRM wrote an entire novella, The Rogue Prince, which was published in 2014, embedded in F&B, centred around Daemon. Precisely because he wants us to understand the character, his arc and his role in the narrative. Writing a short novella is more practical because F&B is excessively plagued by the narrators’ editorialising and the conflicting, biased sources

We see that Daemon is constantly at the centre of attention. Whether he’s seen in a positive light or not, everyone knows where he is, what he’s doing and what he’s saying, and YET, he remains mysterious at the core. In short: all eyes are on him, for better or worse

So when he finally marries Laena in 115, a woman he actually wanted, and becomes a father for the first time in 116, you notice that he starts being more composed, you could even say that he matured

And then he marries Rhaenyra in 120 and poof: nothing. The man practically vanishes from the text

And that’s the point!

The novella fleshes out how Daemon’s one true love, desire and goal is to have a true family. As much as he loved his brother, let’s not forget that Viserys is responsible for Mysaria’s tragic miscarriage, a child Daemon made it clear that he wanted. Baelon and Alyssa were long dead, Otto hated him and did everything to create distensions between the two brothers, and he was married to a woman he didn’t love at all… Daemon had no true place in the world. No real role and we know how much he craves serving a purpose. Serving his FAMILY. That’s how The Rogue Prince starts: he’s marginalised and deep down, he’s lonely

Daemon was a man who attracted everyone’s attention, always present in conversations, always reviled or loved. He was seen in whorehouses and rat pits. Everyone knew him without understanding him

Yet suddenly he disappears, marries his third and final wife, and has two children that were technically useless in terms of politics and very low in the line of succession. He even almost had a third child seven years after Viserys was born. He was 48, Rhaenyra 32. They already had seven children between them. And Visenya was clearly very much awaited. He loved being a father and a husband, explains why he was apparently still enthusiastically active even at his age, if you know what I mean…

When Daemon built his family, he let go of his old roguish ways because he finally found purpose: with his children and his wife. As Rhaenys said “Dragons thrive best on Dragonstone”. It’s obvious this was GRRM’s way of pointing out that Daemon and his family actually thrived, not just the dragons. They literally multiplied. Syrax kept laying eggs. I mean it’s RIGHT HERE lol. Really don’t get why everyone misses that (or chooses to miss that…)

The fact that we know so little about their life on Dragonstone is actually very telling. Because the small details we do have say everything. That’s why I just cannot understand those who claim book Daemyra had “less depth” than Daemon and Laena for example, or show! Daemyra itself. They spent ten years together, what more are you asking for? They were safe on Dragonstone, away from the Greens who bullied Rhaenyra and her children at any occasion. This was a life of freedom and fulfilment. They were the closest to their Targaryen heritage and the power of their own blood. We barely hear from them because they were too focused on their little lives. Meanwhile we hear how miserable things are at King’s Landing

I’ll also point out how their children loved each other. The twins were inseparable. The Velaryon boys admired and loved each other. Jace was the one who made sure his younger half brothers were safe during the war. Baela was fiercely protective of Aegon when he became king. Rhaena called him her “beloved brother”. Aegon and Viserys were basically one soul in two bodies. Jace was considered a worthy heir, his little brother Viserys was literally compared to Jaehaerys I, Aegon worshipped his half brothers…

Mind you these kids had at least four different parents, probably five if you count Harwin 😭 That’s precisely because not only did Daemon and Rhaenyra raise good children, they raised them with love

And that’s how The Rogue Prince ends: he finally found his place in the world: with a family he built for himself. He was heir to nothing. Laena was heir to nothing too, so they had nothing to give to their girls but love, yet he was canonically a girl dad. Rhaenyra, while heir to the Iron Throne, already had three sons. The twins were betrothed to those boys. Baela and Rhaena transformed Daemon: Aegon and Viserys cemented that transformation. Visenya would have been the apogee, the crowning point of that life…had Rhaenyra not been usurped

That is when, and only then, Daemon started to waver in his stability. The only reason he returned to his fatal flaws was because he was grieving, not because his marriage was unfulfilling or shallow

That’s why the progressive estrangement between Rhaenyra and Daemon after the Fall of King’s Landing is so heartbreaking in hindsight:

They had everything they ever wanted: Rhaenyra and her sons were finally safe from the Greens and their suffocating influence, she finally had a husband of her choice, Daemon found the stability he needed to raise his daughters, Rhaenyra ruled Dragonstone on her own right, the kids were, as we well know, good and brave and loyal kids. Everyone valued one another. But everything was taken from them. And while Rhaenyra and Daemon died five months apart, and their deaths interestingly mirror each other, they still couldn’t quite reach one another. It’s the tragedy of these parallels: it wasn’t natural for them to be separated, it wasn’t RIGHT. They weren’t made for that

And yet I find that the reunion between Viserys and Aegon actually represents how Daemyra never truly died, and how their love persisted over time, it passed on to the people they loved the most: their children. Aegon and Viserys ruled together. They trusted each other blindly. They were the brothers Daemon and Viserys I never managed to be because of the external pressure. Aegon and Viserys were sons of the realm’s delight and the Rogue Prince, they grew up seeing their parents love each other. That gave them a fierce sense of loyalty. The same is true for Baela and Rhaena: let’s not forget that it was Baela’s husband, Alyn, who brought Viserys back. She and Rhaena introduced Aegon to Daenaera so that he wouldn’t be used for the benefits of some greedy Lord. They watched closely over their little brother

And the way Baela’s characterisation is so intertwined with Daemon’s own shows just how much of an influence their parents had. The children idolised their parents. Baela was basically her father reborn, she was the best of everything he was. It provides us a more positive light on Daemon’s person, one that is depicted in a very subtle way. Probably why most people here are so blind to it, or don’t accept it

I’d say Daemon died because he loved his family too much, and couldn’t bear to watch it crumble:

He fulfilled his duty by killing Vhagar, but he abandoned another when he died without returning to his family, precisely because his accumulating grief, whether from physical or spiritual loss, had extinguished the joy within him. Yes I’m paraphrasing the book here

But even his duty to kill Vhagar was motivated by the love he had for his family. He didn’t go back to Rhaenyra because he thought he had lost her, because he had no idea of her situation: he didn’t know about Tumbleton, thought Aegon II was no threat, Sunfyre was out of the picture, Addam was still defending King’s Landing, Rhaenyra still had the Velaryon fleet, Baela was still safe on Dragonstone…

He didn’t “save” Rhaenyra because he had NO IDEA of what was going on. He didn’t think she needed to be saved. He thought she would be safe once Aemond was dead. He DID NOT KNOW. He could have never imagined what she would suffer in her last days

Again this is the tragic aspect of Daemyra: the miscommunication in a world where their strength was based on their deeply personal relationship, and their marriage of love and partnership. Once it fell down, they died within months of each other: I think this choice in the timing was deliberate on GRRM’s part to show that those two should never be separated, and when they were, they died without having ever said goodbye

That’s why GRRM wrote The Rogue Prince. That’s what Daemon is. Just think what you will with what you have…

[itsnotcasual]

you guys that keep assigning the marauders to one direction members have got it all wrong because you don’t know their hearts and their souls like i do!!! nobody asked me so im telling you my in-depth analysis anyways.

credentials:

i ran a larry account and still have zayn as my pfp. suck it.

i’m tired of you all leaving out louis so he’s going first as a very obvious sirius black. you keep assigning zayn because he’s gorgeous and wears a leather jacket but louis is literally right there pulling pranks, playing sports on the side, and having gay allegations thrown his way and you’re all just ignoring it and i’m SICK OF IT!!!!! NOT TO MENTION!!! HE IS ALSO GORGEOUS!!! AND ALSO CAN WEAR A LEATHER JACKET!!!!

liam is peter. you’re all blinded by the teddy bear nature of his face pre-surgery but if you even slightly kept up with them you’d know that he tried and failed to be as big as the other members on his own so he had to settle for talking shit about them on podcasts instead. and ykw!! liam was right when he said that he was supposed to be the front man, it was OBVIOUS (#whoremembers let niall sing) but it was even more obvious that a majority of people tuning into 1d were tuning in for harry, not liam. just like how peter was technically there first, best friend to james, but wasn’t the one people cared as much about. also yes, he’s dead but i also was keeping up with his allegations and went through hell online defending them as a teen so i’ll say what i want!!! liam died and i mourned for my childhood but he also objectively sucked at being a friend to the boys after the band!! he is my peter!!! he betrayed them and we would have never gotten a reunion anyways PURELY because of him (zouis would have made up eventually i just know it)

zayn is remus. boo me all you want but it’s true. zayn plays yu-gi-oh, he’s artistic, he owns a farm and can’t name the chickens because he’s afraid of getting attached. people who bought into the Bradford Bad Boy marketing tactic OPEN YOUR EYES!!! HE IS A NERD!!!!! HE IS A SOFTY!!!! HE HAS SOCIAL ANXIETY THAT HE OVERCOMES FOR HIS KID!!! he’s remus. i’ll accept no other answers.

niall is james! “but issitcasual-“ i don’t wanna hear it! niall gets away with fucking EVERYTHING!!! he caused a feud between ed sheeran and ellie goulding and came out of it completely unscathed. his biggest controversy is the japan incident and not seasoning his chicken. niall fans practically grew up in a stable household with 2 loving parents and its all because niall is a beloved creature of this earth. he can’t do wrong he’s a golden boy and so is james.

harry is the only one i could accept multiple answers for but they’re all still wrong answers because honestly??? i don’t think harry really knows himself yet or isn’t showing us that actual version of himself and is just relying on really good marketing (valid honestly the north remembers how you all treated underaged harry styles) some days he’s remus some days he’s sirius some days he’s james but most days to me he’s marlene. i think he struggles with his identity in a lot of ways that ive seen marlene portrayed, i think that he’s changed and grown a lot which is usually something i see done with marlene’s character (like after her trip in tcoptp). I think no matter if its sexuality or just fashion or personality that he has a lot of discovering to do still.

until then i’d also slightly accept harry as remus for wolfstar/larry purposes.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i have thought way too much about this

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── some notes on bellerophon, part one! feel free to read these before/after/not at all, if you choose <33

-> although i did strive for accuracy to a certain extent, i am not a historian by any means, nor do i have the time to do in-depth research! so while for the most part, the setting of this story is based on ancient greece, as is the amphoreus we know, i did fill in some of the gaps with information from ancient rome, which i find to be much more accessible (i think in this chapter, there is only one instance of that, but i am sure it will happen again in the future!), as well as things from my own imagination (because it is fantasy after all)

-> all of the prayers to nikador and phainon are from translated hymns to athena and apollo, respectively, which i have cobbled together and tweaked to fit the plot of the story, so if they seem familiar, that would be why :)

-> if phainon feels out of character, i apologize — i think it will be the worst in this part (setting aside my lack-of-playing-amphoreus-ness), as reader is not particularly fond of him, and also, he is a god, so he naturally will be a little different from the very human character we know from the games just for that fact alone! but we will get somewhere close to our phainon at some point, i promise (or maybe it would be better to say i hope)

-> in a similar vein, most of phainon's antics in this chapter are pulled from various myths of zeus (albeit tamer, because it IS still phainon after all, and i just can't see him being on that type of diabolical timing) — if you think he's problematic, well. i mean. he's meant to be vaguely greek-god-inspired. so yes, reader probably does deserve better, and yes, he's kind of dubious in his ethics, especially right now. sorry!! (no i am not)

-> i took the most liberties with the grove and how it operated, as well as the characters of reader's uncle (who bears a familiar face, if not attitude) and the rest of the sages. i didn't feel like figuring out how the grove operates in canon so i decided that i would just do what i felt like and pray you all don't hate me for it

-> my sincerest apologies to socrippe, the npc sage who has been villainized in this chapter, but our bellerophon needed a queen anteia, and he was conveniently located enough to play the part

-> reader's life is meant to mirror bellerophon's, although the 'why' behind her ending up in these situations is entirely different from his — but if you get tired of her constantly getting exiled and suffering and whatnot, take it up with the ancient greeks, not me

-> the cult of nikador itself is not based on any existing religions, but the sacrificial ritual the reader describes is based on a scene in the odyssey, where nestor and his sons are sacrificing...i want to say a bull?? anways, i'm not here to speculate whether human sacrifice was or wasn't practiced back in the day, so just accept that part as fiction and for the plot and let us move on

-> reader's pony is not little ica, but he's also not NOT little ica, so you may do what you wish with that information (jokes aside, i picture the pony as a palomino, so not necessarily little ica colored, but who am i to dictate something so silly?)

-> and finally, i honestly think that i have catfished you all with that masterlist post, and i apologize in advance because i do not think the actual story can live up to your expectations HAHA but i hope you enjoy anyways!

[mr-meero]

30 Seconds for Redemption (an analysis and personal acceptance of what is)

We all know and appreciate how effective “show don’t tell” can be in storytelling. In the case of Andor 2x08, there are two critical moments that add depth to Dedra and Syril without them having to say a word. 

I have been asking myself since the series ended “Where can Dedra be redeemed?” “Is she a redeemable antagonist?” It was very clear for me with Syril’s moment, but I wanted to sit with Dedra’s for a while longer, and this is where my headspace is currently.

Starting with Syril’s redemption…

Syril Karn lowering his gun

This man was locked on. He beat Cassian. He had him! But then Cassian, starring down the barrel, bewilderedly asks “Who are you?” 

Let’s not forget, Cassian pointed a gun at Syril, tied him up, and let him live in 1x03. Sure, many years have gone by, but of course Syril didn't forget. Syril would never forget the foil to his entire being. 

Cassian’s question was the final piece to shattering Syril's entire worldview. Everything he knew, he believed to be true, his identity, purpose… just gone.

Syril took that small moment of humility to lower his gun. What a blow to your ego and just everything you thought you knew about yourself.

Dedra hesitating not once, but twice

She knows the plan. Captain Kaido reminds her that she is the finger and he is the trigger. She is to relay the command from Partagaz. 

After Syril confronts her, and she tries to bring him back herself, she gives the order to Grymish find Syril and return him. The very next moment she’s being told Partagaz is on the line. She knows what this call is for.

But she also knows that Syril is out there in the crowd. She hesitates for 10 seconds to answer bc she knows what she has to do next.

When we cut back to Dedra, she is silently removing the headset and is feeling a painful weight begin to sink in. It looks almost as if she is experiencing tunnel vision.

She is asked for the orders.

She opens her mouth to give them but stops. Taking a breath instead. She is asked again, and you can see her slightly recoil.

But he’s still out there… 

She takes another breath, attempts to steady herself, but her voice is about to give it all away. “Proceed” said through gritted teeth and a shaky tone.

Dedra hesitated for 15 seconds to tell Kaido to execute the plan.

Dedra had to proceed, but struggled to. Not because she has any humanity for Ghormans. But because Syril is in that crowd. She has been working on this project for years. This moment has been her goal post. She believed she was going to be rewarded once this was all over with.

Let’s take a moment to untangle ourselves and re-affirm our understanding of this character. If she wasn’t in a relationship and didn’t face certain danger on Ferrix, she’d be executing that plan and going home that same day. Her loyalty is to the Empire. It always has been.

But because she is in a relationship and trauma bonded with someone, Dedra’s only redemption is that she hesitated to try and give the one person she cares about enough time to get out or be found. We are shown 25 seconds of her hesitating. Hoping. Wishing. Dreading. If she ignored Partagaz or didn't make the call at all, she'd have been redeemed there. She would have ultimately sparred innocent lives for just one. And if the plan was still executed without her, it wouldn't have been entirely on her.

Syril’s only redemption is him lowering his gun. Speed running his own stages of grief over himself. Coming to realize his insignificance. Considering sparing Cassian. His moment is exactly 5 seconds. If he lived to drop the gun and walk away, that would have been his redeemable moment fully realized.

So, despite the small amount of time they are allowed and we are given, we can learn and observe so much about these characters. This is where we can book club these moments and engage in a fun character/story thought exercise. 

If we could plead and bargain “please don’t do this, you can change” to Dedra and Syril. Let’s ask the following questions: 

Would the oppressive system they’re in let them?

What would they be willing to sacrifice to change for good?

Would they stay together if one or both of them changed?

Based on what we know about these characters, would they even entertain the idea of changing?

[yes-no-maybe-soo]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you with this message, but I wanted to ask you something.

I recently started playing Love and DeepSpace a few weeks ago. I actually downloaded it because of Sylus—his edits kept appearing on my feed, and I was instantly drawn to him. However, after downloading the game and going through his chapters, I found his behavior toward the MC quite problematic.

One of my friends told me that Sylus isn’t like the typical dark romance characters from today’s BookTok trends, which honestly made me even more excited to explore his story. But when I watched Long-Awaited Revelry, I was honestly shocked by how he was handling the MC. I couldn’t help but wonder—is this really the same man who once sacrificed himself for her?

I tried my best to dig deeper into his lore, and I genuinely found his character to be selfless and sacrificial. But I’m struggling to understand how someone so selfless could hurt the MC in the main storyline. I can overlook many things, but one scene in particular really gave me a huge ick—when he takes her to Philip's shop. If I remember correctly, he uses his evol on her body, and she even says, “It hurts.” Then he replies with, “You will hurt even more.” That scene truly unsettled me. How could he say that when she clearly expressed she was in pain? Isn't that physical abuse?

Please correct me if I’m misunderstanding or wrongly labeling it as abuse. I just can't seem to make sense of that moment, especially after immersing myself in his backstory. It feels like the writers did him dirty in Long-Awaited Revelry. I mean, if someone could sacrifice their life for the person they love, how could they ever intentionally hurt them—even to remind them of the past?

It’s really hard for me to connect the version of Sylus we see in that scene with the one from his 5-star memories, where he seems like a completely different, much softer person. I genuinely love him a lot, and that’s what makes it even more upsetting. I usually adore dark characters—the kind who would burn the world for their beloved but would never hurt their beloved. Sylus doing this in the main story was unexpected and, honestly, kind of icky for me. 🥲

How do I come to terms with his redemption arc after knowing what he did in Long-Awaited Revelry (especially that physical hurt while taking her to the shop)? Is there a deeper context I might be missing—something that justifies his behavior? I really don’t want to dislike him, but it’s hard to reconcile such a hurtful scene with the selfless man his backstory shows. And again im saying i do not hate him but its just hard to overlook that scene especially knowing that he loves her so much and is willing to do anything for her. It seems like the Sylus who is shown in the long awaited reverly is not the same Sylus who is shown as so selfless in his myth and in his recent soft memory cards.

So I've already gone into this a bit in two previous asks that you can find here and here. But I can delve into it again, though my answer will be the same just more in depth I guess lol ^^

Ok so here are my main points

I don't at all think that this is a case of bad or inconsistent writing by Sylus' creative team. Sylus is a carefully – meticulously, even – crafted character who'd been in development for at least 5 years before he was introduced in the main story. I guarantee that his team know what they are doing with him and that they'd never do him dirty. They love him as much as if not more than we the fanbase do.

It's important to remember that we lack a lot of lore and context. We don't have all the puzzle pieces yet when it comes to Sylus or his relationship with MC. We're missing a huge chunk of backstory starting from their escape from the nebula up to Sylus' Anecdote. It is very possible that something happened in that time (or perhaps in another myth?) that can provide further explanations for Sylus' behavior in LAR. We'll just have to be patient and see.

For now though the simplest and most logical explanation to me is that Sylus is acting out of character in early LAR because he is in emotional distress. He is hurt, distraught, frustrated, desperate, possibly even fearful. He did not at all expect for things to happen the way they did, for the love of his life to not recall him at all even after coming face to face, for her to hate him, nor for her powers to be weak. I think it's pretty clear that he worries something was done to weaken her during the time that he wasn't observing her from afar – hence why he takes her to Philip and why he asks him if "someone put in a suppressor". Her suddenly deteriorated power makes him anxious for MC's future safety, and his fear has good reason – he is aware of the dangers posed to her by EVER.

He is also just simply desperate for her to regain her memories, which is also understandable. His pain and grief and frustration over his literal soulmate being unable to remember a single thing about him makes even more sense now after Death and Rebirth and the Timelock Key event. I'm ngl I wouldn't handle the same scenario well at all either, but would probably have a major crashout, especially if I'd done and been through all that Sylus has. In early LAR Sylus is basically a person who is desperately trying to remind a loved one (a literal chosen soulmate at that) with amnesia of their past and of themself. (An example of his trying to jog her memories is this part right here where he is recreating an environment mimicking the arena they fought in as kids).

To put it simply, Sylus isn't calm or rational or gentle because the situation he is in is deeply emotionally distressing and unexpected, and in his distraught state he is willing to cross lines he would not in normal situations. He loses himself, going as far as to override his core principle re: MC (her autonomy and consent). In this instance of raw hurt and desperation he thinks that the ends justify the means. This alone shows that he is not in a good or normal state of mind (and again why would he be?)

Now, that being said, does Sylus' emotional distress excuse his actions or make them justifiable? No. Because what he did in LAR simply isn't justifiable and isn't meant to be.

Like I've said before, you'll never catch me defending his actions or making excuses for them regardless of Sylus' reasonings. His behavior was wrong, and is portrayed as such by the narrative. We are meant to be uncomfortable and upset by those scenes. And we are meant to take MC's side and empathise with her as the victim of harsh and fucked up treatment, (while we can also with the context we now have also empathise with Sylus' emotional pain and anxiety – but we shouldn't excuse or justify him). Sylus himself realizes that he went way too far and obviously deeply regrets it – that's why his behavior changes notably afterwards. He is never again forceful or coercive with MC, but on the contrary always walks at her pace, and is twice shown to be prepared to let go of her. And I think his character is all the more beautiful for the fact that he is capable of learning from his mistakes and of bettering himself.

So in summary; Sylus behaving out of character in those early chapters makes perfect sense considering the circumstances and is imo an instance of good and realistic writing rather than bad or thoughtless. The writers were not in any way doing Sylus dirty, but were showing us a character that is flawed and emotionally hurting and capable of fucking up royally in certain situations, but who is also capable of real self reflection and of learning from his mistakes. The early chapters in LAR are integral to his character development, adding layers and depth and vulnerability to him and thus, ironically enough, make him more "human".

This is my perspective anyway, and I hope that it provided some food for thought ♡. I do want to say though that if you still feel the same re: Sylus' behavior, or if you have a completely different perspective from mine, that's ok and understandable. As always I am simply stating my own personal thoughts and interpretations, nothing more nothing less. Not trying to influence or change the way anyone thinks or feels or stating that my interpretation is the "correct" one. I am just working with the material we currently have and trying to piece the pieces together in the way that makes most sense to me, but which inevitably might not to others.

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

SPOILERS FOR MI8

The ending kinda felt...idk, off? Specifically, the very last scene where it shows Ethan walking into a crowd of people, taking in the fact that they're all still here and living their lives, and then one by one, Degas, Paris, Benji, and Grace show up. But none of them really go near each other. They all stay several feet away from each other, presumably taking in each other and their surroundings and the fact that humans are still out here connecting with each other. They give each other cryptic looks and then walk away -- all of them.

I'm not sure whether it was supposed to come off this way. But to me it felt like it was supposed to represent a breaking-apart of some sort, and signalled the beginning of a new chapter. To me, it felt like the film was saying "job's done, everybody is safe (mostly) and we can all go our own ways now." with no regard for the fact that they all nearly died and all completed a very dangerous mission together and therefore should have developed a very strong bond of some sort with each other. It could've been slightly okay for characters that we haven't known for very long like Degas, Paris, and Grace (although I feel like the bond they've all built with each other should be undeniable, except that's not what this scene is telling me). But for Benji and Ethan, who have known each other for 20 years, and who haven't seen each other for one veeeeery long and stressful week during which they both lost a dear friend and nearly died, and who have also both recently lost another dear friend, and have a very close bond with each other, and for Benji especially who has blossomed so much since Ethan first met him, to not take any moments to talk to each other further and instead simply opt to go their separate ways? That doesn't really make sense for them to me, but I may be biased because I will admit that hurt a lot.

You're telling me that none of them go up to each other and say a Congratulations or something or even just talk to each other for a moment outside the mission, implying that there isn't anything there outside of the mission? I was shocked when even Benji and Ethan didn't say a single word to each other or anything like that. I'm aware that nonverbal communication exists and I do know that Ethan and Benji are close enough emotionally to be able to read each other like that, but it still doesn't feel like enough.

I feel like they should've been sitting at a table, eating together, like in the ending of M:I4. Perhaps Paris would've been flicking pistachios at each other. Benji would be telling Ethan about the pen surgery and Ethan would be silently freaking out but also so proud at how much Benji has grown. Something like that would've shown that they all have a bond outside of the mission and that even if they do go their own separate ways in the end, they've still got each other to an extent. The canon ending made me feel like they were leaving each other behind. Like a divorce.

Or maybe I need a rewatch idk.

Also what the hell is up with this film and making me do in-depth analyses like this? I don't think I ever used to do this, it hurt my brain too much. And I also have the oddest insistent urge to write angsty fanfiction about this film.

About the ending again -- perhaps they all go back to IMF safehouses and end up breaking down because everything is not fine. Yes, the world has been saved from nukes thanks to their efforts. But in the downtime, it's time for Grace to accept that her life as a thief doesn't exist anymore and that the entirety of the rest of her life is devoted to the IMF now, and she can't run away or retire ever because we all know how well that goes -- it's physically impossible because she would be looking over her shoulder too much. It's time for Paris to come to terms with her life and perhaps whether she wants to take a new direction -- saving lives, like maybe with plants or animals, instead of taking them like she used to -- or go back to her old job (I don't remember whether she joined the IMF), not to mention that she also has to sort out her feelings about Gabriel because he probably had her thinking that he valued her as a person until she realized he absolutely didn't. It's time for Degas to sort through everything he has been through because it's very stressful and traumatizing. It's time for Ethan and Benji to come to terms with the death of two of their dearest friends, and for Ethan in particular to cope with Gabriel turning up again. And during all of this, they are all probably going to get new missions or things like that because the IMF never gives its agents any breaks. So they all are probably going to shove the trauma behind a mental dam and depend on being busy all the time so that they have no time to sit down, think, and process everything.

Benji will go back to where he was and it will be as if nothing has changed -- he's going to have his bucket by the bed in case he vomits from nightmares in the middle of the night (and he has some new ones to add to his usual list) and he's probably not going to hear from Ethan in a long time and will instead be consumed with a) being alone or b) being on duty.

Ethan will go back to his place (if he even has one -- or he will just couch hop until he gets another assignment) and he will struggle not to drown in his grief for Luther and Ilsa until he gets his next mission, and he desperately tries to stay busy because if he stays still everything will crash into him.

My point is, at this crossroads, Ethan and Benji need each other more than ever. And it is at this moment that they both turn away from each other.

Oh, and there's also obviously the tragedy of Ethan (and Benji) not being able to retire at all ever because it's his job to live and die in the shadows and it's his job to save the world. There may always be another Lane, but it is not up to another Ethan to save the world from him. It's the og Ethan, the one that tried his very best to have a normal life with Julia but ended up sending her into hiding instead (well, okay, that was the circumstances, but still, and she also found fulfillment), the one that rejected Ilsa's proposal to run away because he knows that they are never free (and she figures that out too), the Ethan whose job is to be of use until he dies. (I cannot for the life of me find the person who said this so if this looks familiar that is why. Sorry)

I need to stop making myself sad with this shit. I don't think I've ever asked for fic recs before but does anyone have some post-TFR Benthan fluff I can read? I also need to daydream up some scenarios where Ethan does get his happy ending.

[stelladess]

I love all the old CC songs but Battleplan Extinguished Sins is just so incredible.

All of it is so good but I especially like these parts

I'll end this war you started, I'll stitch this wound with bloodshed. You are my wicked victory.

And

Draw me to the light, let the curse be lifted. We can rise above the roar with the bite of every devil we've felled before. Drown them out, let the fog give way to clarity, there is power in the strain of every drop I bleed. I am the venom and the cure. Take me!

In particular the "I'll stitch this wound with bloodshed" is such an evocative line. I am reminded both of Theresa and her attempts to mend Kazdel pre death (especially due to the "stitch" usages since she was a dressmaker)

But also it applies to Amiya, I remember from "Grown up's paradise" which is pretty much her third or so character song where the lyrics are basically her lamenting having to do evil and hurt people for her ideals.

Actually I strongly recommend checking out Wrathful Cerulean Flame, Long Night's End and Grown Up's Paradise all three. They all are pretty great songs that sort of focus on different parts of Amiya as a character.

As good as "Succession", the theme that plays when Amiya gains her medic variant, is I think that Wrathful Cerulean Flame is just a more interesting and thought provoking piece to me. Which is fine, Ratio Ultima has more in depth storytelling via the music then Succession does and it was wise to not overshadow it, and Broken Sun being the main spotlighted theme for chapter 14 also made sense as it is Theresa's song and she would not get another chance for it.

Wrathful Cerulean Flame balancing being genuinely triumphant and glorious with the very ominous and disturbing feeling it gives. Amiya's growing powers is what lets her save people. But also it is clearly framed as a very sinister thing and dangerous to her.

The twisting, churning feeling something's growing...

I do think Amiya finally making the power fully hers in chapter 14 is good... but I do think it is arguably slightly undermined by her using it more like how Theresa used to before. Which makes sense for chapter 14 but I hope we get to see her use it in more different ways going forward. It would be cool to see her use a mix of her swordplay, more protective powers and her more offensive ones. And medicmiya does have a line about that even

"Could I use all my different powers in the same fight? Oh, Doctor. I was just talking to myself."

[hivemuthur]

Hey Nat! As said before, you are the backbone of the freaktor x reader community. I love your work! Do you think you’ll ever branch out to other fandoms/characters?

Hello again! I'm gonna be real and say: unlikely. The reasons are aplenty, but mostly because I'm just not that much into anything that has a fandom. I'm not even that much into Arcane anymore, I'm just very much into Viktor. I have ideas for around three next long fics, how ever am I going to make it?

Then, the things I like that have a fandom either scare me or I know nobody's gonna care. Like, I'm very much into Andor at the moment, but this. I really think Syril deserves to be pegged more, he begs for it through entire season 1, and there is only 5 fics of that on AO3 (yes I checked). But how am I supposed to understand a world with no balconies in depth? I am too stressed out for that.

And then, I like Star Trek Voyager now, ok? I'm hopelessly in love with Janeway. But does anyone care about my imaginary romance between her and 7of9? And again, so much technology to master. So many things I could do wrong. It's like bi panic and being a dingdong panic combined.

And then, ugh, I want to watch Severance but everyone moved on already. And then, Buffy reboot is coming, so maybe that? And then, I'm into BG3 but not that much? And there is already so, so many amazing writers in that fandom that I can't even keep up with reading. Do you know howlsmovinglibrary? She's the fucking best. And I'm so behind with her fics omg. And then, I love Souls Games and Nightreign came out but I haven't even gotten my Indiana Jones game to work yet. Also, I still haven't finished Cyberpunk? And I have some nasty feelings about Kurt Hansen and no outlet, you know? And then I watched my bf play RDR2 for four hours last Saturday and I miss Arthur Morgan?

And then at the end of the day I end up doing none of those things and I read The War of the Worlds out loud to my bf instead. Does anyone want H. G. Wells fanfiction?

So, I find comfort in enjoying one thing for a long time. I like Viktor very much. I hope that's ok.

[prettyboykatsuki]

OKAY SO I know this is so incredibly stupid because as a romance game lads is supposed to present something of an ideal. like I know that’s the point and this is keeping me from just enjoying it for what it is.

BUT

maybe it’s just because of bad experiences or my complete and utter lack of faith in most men, but I just can’t get into the fantasy because I keep thinking that no man will ever be this perfect 😭 not necessarily perfect as in without personality flaws, but perfect in a boyfriend sense you know. like it’s just incredibly obvious to me that they’re really idealized guys and it makes me kind of sad in a sense

like I know it’s supposed to be a fun dreamy boyfriend simulator!! I want to enjoy it as such!! but for whatever reason I just can’t because it’s so glaring to me that part of the wish fulfillment fantasy is for things that men irl should be more than capable of doing already and often just don’t do. Does That Make Sense

I’m not necessarily asking for advice, so feel free to roast me because like I said I know this is super dumb and totally a me thing lmao. it was just rattling around in my brain and I wanted to get bonked a little I think. but thanks for letting me ramble <3

i dont think this is stupid!!!! like truly at all

i actually think ive been like. kind of outright critical about this before KJSDHFKJSD. but i think our reasoning is just slightly different.

to be clear and before any anons get in my inbox: im aware that love and deepspace is ultimately a dating sim and a game intended to make money. i Know.

that being said, i think part of this specific cognitive dissonance happens specifically because each of the characters has such strong writing. of course the game is a dating sim, and its a gacha - so naturally there's nothing wrong with the boys being the perfect boyfriend. like its The Point. of course.

but each of the characters is very well-written, and additionally - writing with a lot of depth and lore that would warrant flaws. and they do have flaws individually - but the game kind of intentionally does not acknowledge these flaws in any of the content very directly. and these flaws are all mysteriously not applicable to their love lives.

ultimately its always going to be in service of the dating sim aspect, but i think sometimes this is to the detriment of story and character writing itself. like the game will always prioritize the guys doing something boyfriend like even if it isnt necessarily in line with their usual writing.

i think though we are both experiencing the same thing where the guys are too perfect In A Way. and it can really break the immersion - especially if you play OTHER otomes - because the guys in those otomes often do still have some flaws. it brings balance and depth to them imo, things that are much needed.

like the lads fandom likes writing angst and i think a lot of this stems from the games intentional lack of interpersonal conflict.

in short i know what you mean and i dont think its stupid. i actually think there are a fair number of otome players (especially old school ones) that would completely agree lol

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi! You definitely don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I looked at your tier list and saw that Jack and Epel were in the "sliiiiiiiightly dislike" and "solid dislike" categories respectively. Jack is easily in my top 5 and I find Epel to be a fun character despite feeling more neutral towards him, so I was just curious as to why you personally don't like them that much.

Thank you!

[My personal Twst tier list is here!]

Jack actually used to be in the same "solid dislike" tier as Epel. (I briefly explain his ascension to another tier here.) I've loosened up on my opinion of him since his dream in book 7, but I still don't consider him to be a character that I particularly enjoy.

A lot of things about who Jack fundamentally is just do not appeal to me. For example, his design has many elements that I find unattractive (big muscles, silver hair in a spikey mullet, wolf ears and tail, the whole "tough guy" look, etc.). I don't dislike tsunderes (my own Twst OC is one), but I'm extremely picky with them. I prefer tsundere characters to have a reason or part of their backstory that explains why they find it hard to express themselves truthfully. To my knowledge, Jack doesn't really have that, so I instead find him "tsundere for the sake of checking it off on the cast" instead of cute. He gives me very strong... dog energy (especially with the way he idolizes Leona and trails Ruggie around offering to do stuff to help him out), and that's a HUGE demerit for Jack, since I am very much a Dog Disliker. Any traits you would normally assign to a dog and find appealing about them become drawbacks for Jack in my eyes. The one big thing I do happen to like about Jack is that him being the stubborn moral compass of the group makes for interesting clashes with other characters (particularly those within his own dorm).

Epel falls into other tropes I dislike: the "babyfaced one who wants to be manly" and the "country bumpkin that's a fish out of water in the big city/a new community". I feel like there's very few ways to do these without inevitably falling into the same story beats, and I do not find this engaging. I think that Epel's character arc in book 5 happened much too fast and needed more time to cook. (He spent 16ish years with conservative gender views and it takes a SINGLE social media post from Vil to get him to change his mind?? Okay??????) Admittedly, a large part of why I dislike Epel is that his Harveston dialect is EXTREMELY difficult to translate over into English and I'm never quite satisfied with how I've chosen to write it. The dialect always comes off as "too exaggerated" one way or another. His general behavior is also much too immature and rowdy for my liking (he's too overeager to fight, he speaks out of turn to seniors and figures of authority, etc.); if you haven't noticed by now 😂 I tend to prefer mature, collected, and brains over brawn types, which Epel does not really align with.

I think the general problem for both Jack and Epel for me is that it takes them both much, MUCH longer than the other characters to gain any sort of meaningful depth. Their content so often falls back on the same old safety nets ("I like to exercise!"/"I like apples!") instead of trying to find some creative ways to expand on them. For example, we know that Malleus likes exploring ruins and the solitude they provide, but he also wonders about the history tied to them, admires architecture, etc. When he visits new places, he comments about the differences between his home and this new location. This demonstrates his curiosity and also lets us know he knows very little about the world. Jade has his obvious interests in the mountains and mushrooms, but he has also indicated that he wants to try drawing specimens he finds and that he finds manhole covers interesting. You can see him expanding beyond his initial interests and wanting to learn more about the human world. What do Epel and Jack tend to do? "Oh, I'm reading this book because I want to build more muscle definition!"/"Apples are the best fruit ever, have some that my family sent!" Arguably, these types of behaviors could be extrapolated to determine something else about the boys (Jack is very determined/a hard worker, Epel cares deeply about his family and believes in the quality of their produce), but the issue is that this is so often ALL they are portrayed as. I feel that neither of them get the same amount of nuance and diversification that the rest of the NRC cast enjoys.

[yuurivoice]

Currently fuming that I'm falling for the pizza rat when my type is supposed to be edgelords, come onnnnnnnnnnnn.........

(enjoying the binge so far, your work is impressive! I really like Charlie's story.)

-🖤🐈‍⬛

Thank you so much! Charlie is edgy but in like...a Detroit style pan pizza kinda way. lol

I think Charlie is a great intro to YuuriVoice, it's a quick dive headfirst into a childhood friends to lovers romance that I think typicallyyyyy would lack in the emotional depth to quickly get to the smut, but Charlie's emotional arc does a ton of heavy lifting. What's great is, it's solid without having any background on his character and will be just as fulfilling when you learn about his role in other events across the various stories. I take a lot of pride in that, because it could be very easy to leave folks feeling like they missed something or aren't in on the joke, etc which can be super frustrating.

I learned a lot from writing the Lost & Found series, it was one of the first big level ups in my storytelling I think!

[chaehwa-archives]

friendly rivalry deep dive part 19

I’m now at the halfway point in this Friendly Rivalry rewatch project, and what a journey it’s been. To be honest, at the outset, I wasn’t sure how well FR would hold up, or how much this kind of in-depth analysis would pay off. I should have trusted my gut, though. This series is a gem. It’s rare for any piece of media to be made with this level of intention and complexity, and for a GL drama? Depends on how far you stretch the definition, but you can probably count them on one hand...with a missing finger or two.

I’ve been a little worried, though. I remember loving the first half of FR, and I remember loving Episodes 14-16, when the relationship between Jae-yi and Seul-gi takes center stage again. The episodes in between I mostly remember...being confused. Of course that was partly due to pre-Netflix era bad subtitle translation. We all know FR is complicated enough without having to decode every single line of dialogue.

Still I’m curious how I’ll feel about the second half this second time around. Is it as messy as I originally thought, or will the rewatch help things click into place?

So far I’m optimistic. Episode 9 is a gut punch after the whirlwind romance of Episode 8, but it might be one of my favorite episodes yet. In this post I’ll just cover the prologue concerning Je-na, and in Part 20 I’ll cover the rest.

Hopefully everyone reading this has seen the show and knows what you’re getting into with Je-na’s backstory. Just a heads up that we’ll be discussing a sexual relationship between a teacher and student, among other kinds of abuse, so brace yourself.

We’ve seen four prologues so far, one for each main character. All of them were hard to watch in their own way: Seul-gi faces bullying and addiction; Jae-yi loses the will to live under the weight of her father’s curse; Gyeong is cringe and needs to go to horny jail; Ye-ri is starved and neglected by her mother. But I’m calling it: Je-na’s backstory is the most brutal of them all. This poor girl. I am so upset.

Like the other prologues, Je-na’s is a kind of keyhole we can peek through to glimpse her private inner world. But it’s also a key. Je-na’s story illuminates the lives of the other cast members, and reveals a dark truth at the heart of Friendly Rivalry: as fucked up as Seul-gi, Jae-yi, Gyeong, and Ye-ri are, these girls are actually the lucky ones. 

The first scene revisits the violin bow incident we first witnessed in Episode 3, when Tae-joon forced Jae-yi to hit Je-na as punishment for failing to answer a math problem. Later in that episode, he found Jae-yi crying in bed and told his version of the Cain and Abel story, casting Je-na as Cain, the older sibling driven by murderous jealousy.

The very first thing we learn about Je-na in Episode 9 is that she is absolutely nothing like Cain. She doesn’t have a vengeful bone in her body. Je-na cares so little about being surpassed by her sister that she answers a question wrong *on purpose* just to protect her.

Je-na is a refutation of Tae-joon’s parable—her big heart doesn’t fit into his brutal world. But, as we’ll see, that heart isn’t enough to save her. In a loveless family where any sign of vulnerability is exploited, and in a society built by Tae-joons for other Tae-joons, her heart is a liability. 

There’s one interesting detail in this scene that’s easy to overlook. Seul-gi tells us in her narration that Je-na erases the correct answer because she chooses to get hit rather than hit her sister. But...wait. Je-na erases her answer *before* Tae-joon explains that one of the sisters will have to hit the other. How does she know?

The way the scene is shot, we can’t see the violin bow at first, but the whole time the girls are answering math problems, it’s sitting on the kitchen counter in front of Tae-joon. Je-na can see the violin bow and probably guesses that some kind of punishment is coming. And she knows her dad punishes failure. So she acts on a hunch, and her intuition is right.

This tiny scene communicates so much. Je-na is just as clever and observant as her father and sister, but her choices follow a different emotional logic. Tae-joon expects his daughters to act out of fear and self-preservation. Je-na acts out of love and self-sacrifice. Although he’s oblivious to it, Je-na understands her father here better than he understands her. She’s one step ahead of him, subverting the rules of his game before he even has a chance to explain them. In her own way, she’s a genius. But emotional intelligence means nothing to Tae-joon, who only senses weakness.

In the next scene, Tae-joon has already given up on Je-na. She isn’t ruthless enough to be molded into his perfect creation. He argues with his wife (they seem on the brink of a divorce, which is probably why we never see the mom around in the present day) and insists that if they split, he’s keeping Jae-yi. She’s the future of the hospital.

(Of course, if they do end up splitting—I think it’s implied later that they are living separately?—he keeps both kids. He needs both for his divide-and-conquer tactics to work.) Je-na overhears her parents arguing. Then, when Jae-yi wakes up and follows her into the hallway, Je-na covers her ears and hugs her. Jae-yi’s hand tightens on a table cover, and one of Tae-joon’s many awards—a trophy for surgical excellence—falls and strikes Je-na on the foot. She starts bleeding but doesn’t cry. Instead she helps her sister get ready for kindergarten.

My gawd this scene. Absolutely heartbreaking. And there’s just...so much to unpack.

Like the previous scene, Je-na is again doing her best to protect her little sister. And, once again, she gets hurt for it. This time, not only is she physically injured, but she also has to listen to her father tell her mother that he doesn’t want her. Despite the favoritism Tae-joon is showing Jae-yi, though, Je-na refuses to lash out at her sister. She doesn’t seek revenge for the physical or emotional wounds Jae-yi inflicts, either.

Because the award falling on her foot is clearly a metaphor for a different kind of injury. Je-na’s unending sacrifice for Jae-yi’s sake goes unrewarded. Jae-yi never returns her sister’s care or affection. It’s not malicious—she isn’t trying to hurt Je-na’s feelings. She’s a child and doesn’t know any better. But still...it hurts. It hurts when you hug your sister and she won’t even put her arms around you.

(In society, sacrifice like Je-na’s usually goes unacknowledged, too. We have awards for “excellence,” but there’s no trophy for taking care of your sibling in an abusive household, even though Je-na is more of a hero than her father will ever be.)

The trophy is a symbol for the true source of the wound, the wedge that will continue to drive them apart. It’s not one of Jae-yi’s awards that causes the bleeding—it’s one of Tae-joon’s. And it’s his influence that gets to Jae-yi and pulls her away from Je-na’s love. You can see the first signs of that influence on Jae-yi when she coldly observes, “Your foot is bleeding.” This is the same girl who was devastated by hurting her sister not long ago!

Je-na and Tae-joon represent the two conflicting sides of Jae-yi’s personality. On one hand you have the compassionate and selfless Jae-yi, full of affection for and fiercely protective of the people she loves. We can see all of these traits embodied in Je-na. And on the other hand is the cold, distant manipulator embodied in Tae-joon.

As if this scene weren’t already gut-wrenching enough, go back and listen closely to the parents’ argument in the background. When the trophy falls, yeah, that’s their mom screaming. Tae-joon likes his sick little mind games, but he doesn’t hesitate to use physical violence if he thinks he can get away with it. Under his veneer of respectability, he’s just a bully, no more sophisticated than the girls who terrorized Seul-gi in school.

Speaking of Seul-gi, two things. First, there’s the obvious parallel to the closet scene in Episode 3, when Jae-yi covers Seul-gi’s ears to protect her. Now we know where she learned that from, and now we know that Je-na’s caregiving and protection is probably (apart from her relationship with Je-yun) the only form of unconditional love that Jae-yi has ever received. Whether it’s conscious or subconscious, when Jae-yi protects Seul-gi, there’s something genuine there.

Consider also the scene where Je-na dresses Jae-yi for school, and how often Jae-yi has expressed affection for Seul-gi by dressing her—whether it’s the gift of the new uniform in Episode 3, or the gift of the scarf in Episode 7...or the gift she’ll give at the end of the series.

We’re also starting to see parallels between Je-na and Seul-gi. Like Seul-gi, Je-na fears abandonment, and is desperate to be loved. As a defense mechanism, she tries to be independent, taking on the adult responsibility of caring for her sister without expecting any help. She sacrifices herself day after day, denying her own needs, in an effort to hold her family together, while Seul-gi denies her humanity, setting herself apart from everyone.

The difference is that Seul-gi is forced by her isolation and by her circumstances to grow a thick skin. She stops expecting anything more than neglect and mistreatment from people, and learns to survive on her own.

Je-na’s self-worth is tied up in her family from the beginning. And because her family is controlled by Tae-joon, that means tragically seeking validation from a system that will only demand sacrifice while continuing to abuse and degrade her.

On some level, Tae-joon must know that Je-na’s love for her sister is a threat to his power over them both, which is why he isolates them. Under his influence, Jae-yi distances herself, and Je-na is left utterly alone. Her sacrifice is not only not repaid—it’s punished.

When Jae-yi and Je-na are leaving for school, there’s a shot of Je-na glancing up at Tae-joon, who’s watching them from the balcony. Like the violin bow scene, this shows us that, whatever Tae-joon thinks of their abilities, Je-na is more advanced than her sister in some ways. While Jae-yi remains emotionally stunted by fear, Je-na is carefully attuned to the power dynamics within their family. But she’s also powerless to change them.

Powerlessness makes her desperate, and in the next scene she prays to be stricken with an illness so that her family will pity her.

Wait. She’s so desperate to be noticed...that she prays for a disease that will make her stand out and be recognized? Does this remind you of anyone?

It’s little Seul-gi with the princess dress!

As her family is leaving church, Je-na suddenly collapses, and she’s diagnosed with narcolepsy. It’s never made clear exactly how “real” her narcolepsy is, but unless you accept divine intervention as an explanation, the odds that she would coincidentally develop a very noticeable neurological disorder moments after wishing to develop such a disorder seem…low. At the same time, even if it’s staged, this isn’t the kind of emotional manipulation that Tae-joon and Jae-yi excel at—it’s no galaxy-brain chess maneuver. It’s an impulsive attempt to meet an emotional need. And like Seul-gi’s impulsive choice to wear the princess dress to the beach, Je-na’s desperate attempt to be seen will have fateful consequences.

At this point, Je-na’s story doesn’t just echo Seul-gi’s—she’s also a counterpoint to Gyeong and Ye-ri. Like Ye-ri, Je-na is neglected by her parents, and seeks attention through a fantasy—in this case, the fantasy of her invented health condition. And, like Gyeong, Je-na grows up in Jae-yi’s shadow, constantly overlooked because of her. The difference is that Je-na never grows bitter, never resents her sister for receiving all the attention, or her father for ignoring her.

Je-na clearly wants to repair her relationship with Jae-yi, and when Jae-yi comes to visit her at the hospital, she allows herself to hope. Maybe this is her chance. In spite of all the pain Jae-yi has caused her, she still takes the risk of reaching out.

Jae-yi meanwhile is torn between her father and her sister again, between opening her heart and guarding it. She clearly does care, or she wouldn’t have come in the first place. But she doesn’t dare show her true feelings. That would be a sign of weakness, something Je-na might be able to exploit. Instead Jae-yi sulks, and when Je-na comes on a little too strong, she runs away, taking Je-yun with her.

Jae-yi is a lot like Seul-gi here, prickly and suspicious of affection. Which is probably why, when Seul-gi gives her the same standoffish treatment, it reopens all of these old wounds. Seul-gi reminds her a little bit of herself, and also reminds her of all the ways she’s hurt her sister over the years. Part of what draws her to Seul-gi in the early episodes might be the simple fact that Seul-gi makes her feel things again, when she’s been numb for so long.

It’s also easy to see why Jae-yi is so attached to Je-yun. Je-yun is safe and uncomplicated to love. She can project all her affection for her sister onto the dog and not have to worry about her guilt or her regrets or the ugliness of human relationships.

Jae-yi’s rejection of Je-na in this scene is heartbreaking enough, but what comes next is worse. For a moment, Je-na’s prayer seems to be answered when Tae-joon comes to her and apologizes for his failures as a father. It...worked? Someone in her family is finally giving her the attention she’s wanted for so long?

But just as Seul-gi in her princess dress ends up abandoned on the beach, Je-na’s plea for attention backfires in a cruelly ironic twist. She’s been neglected by her father for so long, she’s forgotten what his “support” means. It doesn’t mean love—it means more pressure, more surveillance, more expectations and conditions.

Interestingly, in the same way that Tae-joon failed to notice Je-na’s self-sacrifice as a child, he seems oblivious here to what’s actually going on in her brain. I don’t think he suspects that her narcolepsy could be fake, and he doesn’t seem to realize what’s motivating her, either. Je-na couldn’t care less about her grades or class rank. What encourages her to try harder in school is his moment of apparent remorse—his acting like a caring father for once in his goddamn life.

But Tae-joon can’t fathom how anyone could be motivated by love. He only understands fear, power, and control. And his use of these tactics against Je-na, who lacks her sister’s emotional armor, nearly destroys her.

Je-na and Jae-yi have essentially opposite reactions to the pressure of their father’s gaze. Jae-yi buries her emotions deeper and deeper to become the ruthless studying machine he apparently wants. Je-na becomes more impulsive, more reckless, less rational. Eager to earn Tae-joon’s approval, she turns to good luck charms, then to drugs, and finally to cheating.

Which brings us to the most uncomfortable part of an already unpleasant tale: the relationship that develops between Je-na and her math teacher, Woo Do-hyeok. The first time I watched Friendly Rivalry, I wasn’t sure how we were meant to read this relationship, and that uncertainty made me anxious. It seemed possible that we were being encouraged to view Do-hyeok as the victim, and I didn’t enjoy that implication. Now that I’ve had more time to sit with it, though, I actually appreciate the nuanced way FR depicts sexual abuse.

Do-hyeok isn’t overtly sinister. He’s not obviously villain-coded the way Tae-joon is. His concern for Je-na seems genuine at first, and it probably is. Putting ourselves in her shoes, it’s easy to see how she would view him as a lifeline. He’s…fatherly. And he’s the only adult in her life who seems to notice or care about the stress she’s under.

Which makes the way he takes advantage of her insecurities and emotional distress extra upsetting. This girl needs help. She needs there to be just *one* decent adult in her life. Do-hyeok is so good at playing the part of that figure, he almost convinces us as viewers that he could be an okay guy. He might have even convinced himself that he has Je-na’s best interests at heart.

But his conversation with Je-na, when he catches her trying to steal exam answers at night, is full of subtle manipulation. Hiding behind his mask of fatherly concern, he uses veiled threats and flattery to poke and prod at her vulnerabilities until she is totally at his mercy. When she throws herself at him, he’s surprised, but he doesn’t stop her. He’s had plenty of opportunity to set boundaries before now. He not only let her cross them all, he’s been nudging her across himself.

It’s also emphasized again and again that Je-na is not in a position of power or control. She’s so terrified that at one point she is literally on her knees begging for her life. She’s not a puppet master, and this is no careful scheme—the video that will be used later on to blackmail Do-hyeok isn’t part of a set-up. It only exists because Je-na sets her phone down on a shelf to light the room, and because Do-hyeok happens to brush her smartwatch by accident.

Honestly...this scene is just so upsetting. There’s nothing nice or neat or easy about it. It’s a sad pathetic man betraying a desperate girl so hungry for validation she immediately places all her trust in the first person to say a kind word to her. It’s the one authority figure in Je-na’s life who might be able to help her, who might even want to help her, choosing to exploit her instead. It’s fucked up, but I’m glad Friendly Rivalry resists the urge to give us a simplified or sanitized version. So much abuse in the real world is messy this way.

I still have questions about this prologue: Why does Do-hyeok show up at the school at night, anyway? Why was he keeping an extra Hankuk University keychain in his drawer? Why is Je-na’s pencil purple? Feel free to drop any questions you might have in the comments. I love trying to solve these mysteries together.

But the next entry will definitely loop back around to this prologue, since Episode 9 is full of references to Je-na’s backstory. So I will save other thoughts and ramblings till then. Sorry for the long wait this time, hopefully the next post will come sooner!

[earlgreytea68]

I just finished a show on Netflix called "Envidiosa," and I loved it, which is unusual for me, since I usually get easily annoyed by most fiction these days.

I saw a lot of people complaining that the heroine was awful and selfish and horrible, and I was wondering what was wrong with me that I sympathized with her. Like, she made a bunch of bad decisions, but I always understood why she was making those decisions. The show, to me, really paid attention to its actual characters and how they would behave and what they would do. Also, the MC really spoke to me. She's a 40-year-old woman who feels like everyone else got the "perfect life" but her, which she defines as marriage and kids. The storyline of the show is more complex than that, but it really did resonate with me, because I am a single, childless woman in my 40s, and I am very happy, I don't want to suggest that I'm not, but I also know that I spend a lot a lot of years thinking I really NEEDED to get married and have kids, that that would of course be what my future had to look like, because that's what it looked like for everyone all around me and that's what society tells us, and I really felt for this MC struggling with her life not turning out the way it was "supposed to." I don't think we see enough characters out there really grappling with that in as much depth as this show did. Like, yeah, sometimes you DO feel like everyone shows up with nothing but good news and you're the only loser whose life isn't going well. Idk, maybe that's just a me thing but my twenties were a rough time and this really made me feel more seen but in a good way, like, yeah, I recognized this person and her struggle.

But then this show did something even more shocking and actually let the OTP, like, get to know each other and develop a relationship so that you could understand why they would want to be together????? This seems like the most basic element of a romcom but wow, almost NONE of them bother to actually do this, they just give you, like, a montage scene of the OTP walking on the beach together or playing a board game and they're like, "SEE, THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER." This show took its time and the OTP had a bunch of scenes together where they actually had fun with each other and connected with each other and I was rooting for them so hard and really, I almost never root for the OTP of a romcom because usually I don't care about them at all lol.

Anyway, I was really, really impressed by this show. I didn't expect so much going in, but it was very thoughtful and well-done. Also, it was hilarious. I laughed so much. All of the characters were great and I loved all of them. I don't speak fluent Spanish but I understand enough to get by and the subtitling of this show is awful, there were so many jokes that I could hear in the original Spanish being spoken that just were lost in the subtitles, sigh, I wish they would have done a better job with that. But it's okay, because it didn't REALLY take away from the rest of the show.

Oh, also, the soundtrack was awesome, A+.

So, I very seldom recommend anything, as you know, I am the most difficult person in the world to please. And I can totally see how some people might hate this show, like, I get it, the MC is a lot to deal with. But I also really loved her and if you want a show about good characters behaving in a way that mostly makes sense and isn't just manipulated for plot purposes, this was a good one, PLUS it was funny, PLUS it had a decent ending (there's another season coming that makes me nervous but I was very satisfied with these two seasons). (And I HATE stupid contrivances to keep an OTP apart, I really do, and I was worried every once in a while that this show was veering off into that territory, but it always swerved its way back onto the track for me, mostly because it always was so rooted in the characters that I got what it was doing and going for, and again, it helped that EVERYONE seemed alike a fully imagined person on the canvase, not just the OTP.) (Well, the love triangle girl that the guy starts dating kind of bothered me but she was the only one.)