#it makes for a good filter for what ideas u Really think deserve to see the light of day tho. case in point the comic Im trying to

[bacchuschucklefuck]

Do you write fh (jy) fan fiction? If so is there a way I can read it? Thanks :>

I'll say I am writing fh fanfics! but its currently in my computer and nowhere else. maybe one day I'll get what I'm writing done and somewhere not my computer and I'll let folks know!

[garden-bug]

Idk if I’m the only one but x readers and OCs in one-shots does not work for me.

If you’re gonna write an OC I need u to justify the existence of that character in the universe and that’s gonna take longer than a one shot. Otherwise it just feels like they got inserted purely to be romantically involved with another character which feels so empty (which obviously they did but yeah).

I love OCs in long pieces where u can properly flesh them out and give them a story that compliments the existing one. I wanna see more of this.

X readers is an entirely different story. Strangely, my issue with it is this: What makes you deserve to exist in this fictional universe? So I think it comes back to the justification of existence of the character (or in this case the reader). But I really dislike the idea of this trope (is it a trope?). The concept just immediately puts me off because it advertises that emptiness of a unjustified character who has no place in the story. Interestingly, I believe if I read the piece my perspective would change because the writer would then justify the existence of the reader in the story and give them a necessary role (hopefully, if they are a good writer).

I think it comes down to the fact that I (as someone interested in storytelling) prioritise serving the overall story rather than the self indulgence of the reader. Idk what do we think?

This may not reach an unbiased audience because I personally have a lot of the tags I’ve tagged this with filtered out lmaooo

[elytrafemme]

hai mare!!!! was just dropping by to let you know that once i get an email allowing me to get a new ao3 account that i’m gonna be writing there!!! :3 says the approximate day is the 23rd! and also the first thing i’m planning to work on is a oneshot of cs!tommy and cs!ranboo being besties and stuff! (i also don’t know if they ever become besties since i’m at like…. chapter 13…… but i’ve had no motivation to read in a few months :/)

i’m still navigating around the site (it confuses me so much 😭😭) but i shall get there!!!! i’m determined lol. please hand over any tips for a new person on that site who has no idea what the hell they are doing (not forced!)

anyways, i hope you’re doing okay <3 i’m wishing you well as always and i hope the universe is treating you kindly. i am continuously handing you a small treat (of your choice!) and wrapping you in a warm blanket. you deserve to be comfortable and safe i think 🫶

HAIIII omg omg Omg ... YOU WRITING LETS GOOOOO lmk when u get the ao3 account i will subscribe to it Immediately. also !!!!!!!! CS FANWORKS? CS FANWORKS? HOLY SHIT THAT. THAT IS REALLY COOL THAT IS REALLY COOL i. <333333333thank you so much

okay yeah so tips! searching up works or ships individually is a nightmare, ao3 has a fantastic search function but it gets overwhelming when trying to use the search bar with no filters on. what i recommend is finding a few character or relationship tags you like (i actually don't know if you can do this with characters but i figure you can?) and favoriting them. that way you can go to the home page and see all your favorite tags and use THOSE to navigate/browse for works -- i never try to individually look up works anymore and i just do that

bookmarks are helpful! you can mark things for later but imo i am more likely to check a bookmark where i individually wrote "read later" than i am to go search for my mark for later works. you can make bookmarks private, leave comments on them, leave tags (wish in hindsight i tagged my own bookmarks so i could look thru them easier), etc.

i hear very conflicting perspectives on this but what i learned and what i have done since is always put my writing in RICH TEXT FORMAT. there is an option (which is default iirc?) to upload works in HTML format but that fucking sucks so just go with rich format. you can draft works for 30 days and continuously go back and edit tags if you want

there are a LOT of advice pieces on tagging that circulate but one of mine that i don't see a ton is that you can use the tags of the fic to broadly cover some content material, and then use the beginning notes to get more specific. this usually works best with multichapters, like i don't individually tag every single triggering thing that appears in CS but i tag the things that are recurring (alcoholism, derealization, etc) and then in the beginning notes for each chapter i state what the specifics are

if yu need any more specific tips lmk i love ao3's web design so i am down to chat about it whenever

I HOPE YOU ARE DOING GOOD TOO!!!! handing u a warm drink and opening up the blanket on one side ... we can share :]

[hesther-mcg]

melodies to kiss to

request: @copperbitches: you and Bolin dance at a party and kiss or something cute like that..

pairing: bolin x reader 

warnings: none, just some kissesssss

a/n: idk why it wont let me tag u that’s literally the acc u sent the ask from asnmxlkxkzmak anyways here it is!! after forever!! sorry abt that hehe. also added some brosami bc that’s the friendship we ALL DESERVED. i hope you like this, requests are currently closed but i have a TON of stuff on the way!! i did a WIP tag the other day if you’re interested in looking for it 

also i have my first person on my tag list!! hehe yay!! love my wife sm 

tag list: @noodlesfluffy​ 

Laughs filtered through the air, along with the clinking of glasses and the chatter of companions. Everyone you knew to be apart of your crazy life after meeting Korra and getting swept up in Avatar Business™ was gathered, and then there were others you weren’t familiar with mixed in. However, this did nothing to hinder your mood, and you danced freely with Ikki on the dance floor regardless of who was around. 

Bolin watched you from afar, a dreamy grin on his face. He stood with Mako and Wu, who had tagged along with his brother. The three were on the far side of the room, and Wu was going on about something or another, and Bolin couldn’t find it in himself to listen. Not when you were dressed so nicely, or when your eyes twinkled as you laughed loudly, or when you twirled around with the one person who seemed to match your energy perfectly, or when he kept thinking about you with and his daughter in another life. 

He didn’t notice when Wu dragged Mako away, and he also didn’t notice the hostess of the party herself replace them. Not until she cleared her throat and he jerked his head to the side. “Oh, hey, Asami...” he grinned shyly, his cheeks warming at having been caught in the act. 

“Hey, Bolin,” she grinned. “Whatcha doing?” She questioned knowingly. 

“Ah,” he hesitated, voice rising in pitch. “Nothing, nothing. Just,” he shrugged his shoulders and extended his arms out. “Enjoying this party you threw! Congratulations by the way!” 

Asami nodded her head with a grin, knowing there was more to it. “Thank you, Bolin, it really means a lot. We’ve been working really hard at Future Industries so I Korra and I thought it’d be a good idea to celebrate,” she smiled as her eyes scanned the crowd for the girl mentioned. Bolin did the same, and his heart melted when he spotted you. 

You were dragging Korra onto the dance floor, Ikki at your side with the older girls other hand grasped tightly. When the pair of you managed to drag her out there, triumphant laughs and high fives and all, she picked you both up and spun you around. “You know, (y/n) is a really great person,” Asami chimed, and the earthbender dragged his eyes away from you. “I mean, we all love them, and they have so much potential,” he looked at Bolin and leaned in a bit closer. “And we know that you like them.” 

He choked on air, and jerked away from the girl like she’d zapped him with her electric glove. “W-what?” He asked, drawing the word out. “No I don’t,” he laughed nervously. “Asami, don’t be silly.” 

“Oh, come on, Bo,” she shook her head. “You’re not that slick.” 

Bolin sighed, and his shoulders slumped. She was right, he wasn’t that slick. You probably already knew of his feelings and hadn’t spoke on them because you didn’t return them. “But,” Asami’s voice lifted his head, his curiosity peaking at her tone. “I happen to know that they actually feel the same about you, and I’m tired of watching the two of you lie to yourselves about the other. So I’m going to help you make a move at this party because I love you, and you deserve this.” 

Warmth spread across his chest and he launched himself forward, wrapping his arms around Asami in a tight hug. She laughed and returned the gesture, laying her head on his. “Thanks, Sami,” he whispered. 

“Of course, Bo,” she whispered back, and the moment was oh so sweet, and it reminded him why he had always liked having her around. She was good, and nice, and smart, and would always be there for you. After another moment they pulled away from one another, and Bolin stared at her excitedly as she watched you, Ikki, and Korra cause an absolute scene on the dance floor. 

“Okay, so I really think you should ask them to dance. It’s way better than just standing around talking, it gives you something else to focus on so your nerves aren’t settled on just one thing,” she informed. 

“You want me to dance with them?! What if I step on their feet, or-” he rambled, but Asami cut him off. 

“Bolin, this song is about to end and you’re going to ask them to dance.” She stared him straight in the eyes and left no room for discussion, he had to do this now or he never would; and you would just keep telling yourselves that it’s just unrequited love.

It most certainly wasn’t just unrequited love. 

And all too soon, before he could pull himself out of his thoughts, the music drifted off and people scattered from the dance floor, taking a break between songs, and his heart leapt up into his throat. “Oh look, here they come!” Asami whispered as she waved, and when he looked he spotted you and Korra heading right for them. The adrenaline began coursing through his veins as if he was about to face a mighty villain, and he could have shit himself then and there. 

“Hey, guys,” Korra greeted, and wrapped her arm around Asami’s shoulders. She placed a kiss on the taller girl’s cheek, and she grinned brightly. 

“Hello to you too,” Asami chuckled. “That was quite the show you guys put on, I’m impressed.” 

“Thanks, it’s just one of my many talents,” you boasted jokingly, wiping your shoulder. “I break that shit down.” 

Bolin laughed, despite the maelstrom of emotions he was experiencing. “You sure did,” he chimed in, only slightly awkwardly, and you smiled at him. That sent a slight boost of confidence through him, and he proceeded on. “I-I was actually wondering if we could, maybe, catch the next, uh, slow song?” He stuttered through his question, cheeks bright red. 

“Sure!” You exclaimed excitedly, and your own cheeks heated up at your reaction. “I mean, yeah, of course, Bolin.” You smiled sweetly at him. 

“Well, the music should be starting soon, and I have some conversing to do,” Asami cuts in, exchanging a glance with her girlfriend. “So I’ll see you guys later. You coming, Korra?” 

“Sure thing,” she answered, allowing herself to be led away, throwing a wink at you over her shoulder. You didn’t get a chance to react, as a slow melody began filtering through the air, and you made eye contact with the boy in front of you. 

“Uh, shall we?” He asked, and you both chuckled at how cheesy it sounded. You nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the middle of the floor. His heart raced the whole way there, and didn’t slow down when you placed your arms gently around his neck. 

“Is-is this okay?” He questioned as his hands barely touched the fabric covering your waist. Always the gentleman, that one. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you replied softly, eyes scanning his face. “It’s kind of perfect, actually.” 

He looked at you in surprise, and you just stared back, bodies swaying to the soft music. “It’s perfect?” He questioned just as softly. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It is perfect. I was wondering if you would ask me to dance tonight,” you confessed, voice so light Bolin had to lean in to hear you. “I was leaning towards no, so I’m pretty satisfied with where we are.” 

He grinned, mesmerized by you. His eyes never left your face, nothing else around you mattered. They flickered between your eyes, sparkling from the lights he and Mako had hung up over the dance floor when they had aided in the set up. Then they landed on your lips, and the words left his mouth before he could stop himself. 

“Well, then can I also ask if I-” his eyes went back to yours, and he faltered for a moment, but the curious look you had told him he had to continue. “Can I also ask if I can kiss you?” 

You nodded after a moment, his question having to register in your mind. He wanted to kiss you? And he answered you by leaning in closer and brushing his lips against your own, enough to heat your face up but not enough to satisfy you. 

You placed your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him back in after he began pulling away, and he grinned against your lips. The melodies, the lights, the dance, and Bolin, it was all perfect. 

[kae-karo]

"911? I'd like to report a loser" + venti

SDFJKLDSJFKLJKDSLFKLJDFS anon this is EXCELLENT thank u so much lmao

[send me a dialogue prompt from this list and a genshin character!]

tags: xiaoven preslash, background tartali, college au (based a bit on this post - x)

----

This is a bad idea. He should turn around and text Zhongli that he’s feeling unwell and go home. Get into bed, fall asleep. Wake up with the dawn and go about his usual schedule.

But he made Zhongli a promise, and he will see it through, no matter the toll it takes on him.

With a shaking hand, Xiao turns the handle of the front door of some nondescript house - currently made less nondescript by the thud of loud music and flash of colored lights - and steps into the party.

“Dibs!” someone shouts, loud and nearby and Xiao’s head swings around, his face warms, but nobody’s looking at him. The place is a cacophony of voices and noises and music, he argues to himself, so there’s no reason to get so keyed up over nothing. It’d just startled him. 

Still, he pulls out his phone.

Xiao: I’m here by the front. Someone just yelled ‘dibs’. Don’t make me suffer this alone.

He hits send, then tucks his phone back into his pocket and glances around. Recognizes nobody, of course, because this is a party filled with people from Zhongli’s classes and department, and Xiao is an outsider. 

Why did he have to tell Zhongli he was standing by the front? He should’ve found somewhere less conspicuous to stand, somewhere he could tuck himself away in a corner and avoid the eyes that seem to drift to him from every person that passes. 

Hell, why did he have to come at all? Zhongli would’ve let him out of it if he’d protested enough, or claimed some imperative homework or project or exam coming up. 

He blows out a sharp breath, then stumbles back as someone rushes past him - yes, he knows well enough how to manipulate Zhongli. And Zhongli knows well enough that he’d never dream of doing so.

With a huff of irritation - and a quick glance confirming that he hasn’t received any messages from Zhongli - Xiao stomps off in a random direction. If Zhongli isn’t even here yet, he’ll-

“Xiao!” Relief floods Xiao’s veins at the voice, and he turns to find Zhongli waving at him from down a hallway. Light shines behind him, haloing him in yellow-white. Xiao weaves his way through other partygoers milling about, drinks in hand or- gods, or making out against a wall. His stomach drops as he squeezes past them, heat flushing his cheeks for no particular reason.

“Xiao, I’m thrilled you were able to make it.” Unlike the rest of the guests, Zhongli has a glass of wine in hand, and he takes a sip before wrapping Xiao in a one-armed hug. Xiao leans into his side, for just a moment, pretends he isn’t here, surrounded by a million people he doesn’t know and-

“Zhongli!” Xiao startles at the voice, swears it sounds unexpectedly familiar. Against all reason, he grits his teeth when Zhongli releases him.

“Venti?” Zhongli’s gaze fixes somewhere past Xiao, and Xiao doesn’t turn quickly enough. The guy races over, nearly slams right into Xiao on his way to Zhongli, and Xiao stumbles back a few steps.

“Zhongli, ohmygods, I just-” The guy - Venti, apparently - groans, then, and buries his face in Zhongli’s chest. Xiao ignores the sudden wave of jealousy. “Some hot guy just walked- he just walked in! Walked right in, and d’ya know what I did?” 

Zhongli casts a glance at Xiao, huffs out an amused breath. Venti tips his head back, stares up at Zhongli just as he turns his attention back to the guy.

“What did you do?”

“I shouted ‘dibs’.” A pause, and it takes a moment for those words to filter into Xiao’s head. Then his face burns with heat, and his eyes go wide, and panic floods his veins - this is the guy who’d-

“Ugh, what am I gonna do?” Venti laments to Zhongli. “I mean, he was- he was just so pretty, I probably freaked him out…” Zhongli’s hands land on Venti’s shoulders, and he pulls him back just a bit.

“Did you? Have you spoken to him since, ah, that incident?” 

“I can’t talk to him, did you not hear what I just said?” Venti whines, and Zhongli nods sagely. 

“Perhaps it’s unwise of you to assume that he’s offended by the comment. For all you know, he-”

“He might’ve found it endearing!” Some other guy - gods, how many people does Zhongli know? How many people are there, that he’s so comfortable with that they can swing an arm over his shoulder and hang on him like they’re- Xiao cuts off that line of thought. He’s not the only person entitled to Zhongli’s time or attention.

Venti huffs out a breath, pulls back and crosses his arms at this new guy. 

“In fact, this lovely gentleman you’re speaking of might’ve fallen head over heels for you at the first sign of- uh…” He glances at Zhongli, and Zhongli quirks a brow. “Whatever you said. Or did.” He grins back at Venti now, and even Xiao is a little irritated by him.

Venti shoves at the guy, which does very little aside from make him burst into laughter.

“Xiansheng, Venti’s bullying me,” the guy whines, tucks his head into the crook of Zhongli’s neck, and Xiao’s stomach swirls with something unkind. Especially unkind, because Zhongli’s lip ticks up at the corner, and Xiao can see the lightness in his expression. Xiao crosses his arms over his chest, tries to bury that bad feeling deep down and ignore it. Zhongli deserves good things.

He blinks, startles when Venti whips out his phone and holds it up to his ear. 

“Hello, 911?” Xiao’s eyes widen, but Zhongli does not look particularly concerned by this, so Xiao exhales slowly and tries to calm down. “Yeah, I’d like to report a loser?” 

In spite of himself, Xiao coughs out a breath of unexpected amusement - it’s not really that funny, except that it kind of is, for how absurd an insult it is.

It is at this point that Xiao realizes his mistake - Venti whirls around at the sound of his almost-laugh, and his eyes go wide when they land on Xiao.

“Hot guy!” he yelps, then slaps his hands over his mouth, and it takes Xiao a terrified moment to realize that he is referring to Xiao. In his panic, Xiao’s gaze flicks up to Zhongli, only to find him smiling. 

“OhmygodsI’msosorryIdidn’trealizeyouwere-”

“Breathe, Venti.” Zhongli’s voice, and Xiao pretends he’s saying it to Xiao as well. It takes an unexpected effort to make his lungs function, and his skin feels impossibly hot. Just as warm, he expects, as the bright-red flush on Venti’s cheeks.

Venti lowers his hands just below his chin, and he gives Xiao an apologetic sort of smile.

“I have had a lot of drinks and I- you’re just, you’re really pretty, and it’s not an excuse but I, uh-” Venti breaks off there, then turns to Zhongli with a panicked hum. “Help?”

“Venti, this is Xiao. Xiao, an old friend of mine, Venti.”

“Great, introductions made. Xiansheng,” the other guy, still hanging on Zhongli’s side, interrupts. “Can we leave now?” Xiao’s stomach turns at the way the guy stares at Zhongli’s lips, the saccharine-sweet and seductive tone.

“Ugh, gross,” Venti speaks Xiao’s thoughts aloud. “Get a room.”

“That’s the plan,” the guy says with a grin and a wink, and Venti grumbles something under his breath as he turns away.

“C’mon, Xiao, let’s find somewhere we don’t have to watch them make out for an hour before Zhongli finds his shame.”

Xiao startles at the warm hand that slips into his, and he glances over his shoulder as Venti leads him away.

Zhongli catches his eye, then offers him a reassuring smile.

The panic swirling in Xiao’s stomach quells a bit, and he turns back to find Venti grinning at him.

“I know we got off on a weird foot,” he says as he drags Xiao through the crowded space. “But do you think we could start over?” 

Xiao’s hit with a wave of fresh air as Venti drags him outside, and the cool evening breeze does wonders for the heat still lingering on Xiao’s cheeks. Venti slides to a stop a distance away from the nearest people, then drops to the grass and tugs gently at Xiao’s hand.

He glances around, a little uncertain, but...but he would absolutely rather be here than around Zhongli and...that other guy. And better this than being surrounded by a sea of warm bodies and loud noise and-

“Okay,” he says as he lowers himself to the ground beside Venti, and Venti grins wide.

“Hi,” he says as he extends a hand - the one he’d just released from holding onto Xiao’s. “My name’s Venti, nice to meet you!”

“Xiao,” he says as he takes it, and a smile touches the corner of his lips. “Likewise.”

[silverlightqueen]

Filter - Part 2

‘There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track.’

fratboy/jock!Jimin x cheerleader!reader - e2l, smut, a n g s t, comedy, fluff 

Part of ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo!

Rating: 18 (graphic sex and mature themes)

Word Count: 16.6k+ (she’s a monster omg I’m so sorry)

Warnings - bad language, humiliation (not during sex - he just embarrasses the hell out of her in public), alcohol, drug consumption, explicit discussion of sex, locker room sex, y/n being a brat again, jimin being a dick again (but worse,,,so much worse), dom!jimin, sub!y/n, teasing, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, tit fucking, tit slapping, Jimin’s monster cock makes a return, praise, explicit dirty talk, mild degradation, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, standing sex, asphyxiation, y/n and jimin argue again (multiple times), Jimin is literally the worst human being on earth in this omg I’m sorry for making him terrible, somehow I ended up putting a comment on society and the patriarchy (?) at the end but we go with it, girl power! and if your kpop boy is in this, he’s trash (unless he’s Stray Kids Minho, the only male character in this that deserves rights)

a/n: unedited lol and this really didn’t go the way it was supposed to, but I don’t hate it so here ya go, enjoy! I think in this lockdown, I’ve really started to,,,,hate men and it shows in this fic so I’m sorry to any boys that might be reading this lmao. but anyway thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess​ for proofreading this, you’re the best hype girl ever, luv u xoxo (and I promise I’ll work on The Other Half for you and @brinnalaine​ ) lmk what you think of it, I legit thrive off praise lol x

Read Part 1 first !!!

also I got the banner off google so credit to whoever made it (it has no relevance to the story but it matches the colour scheme so we roll with it lmao)

silverlightqueen masterlist

‘Good afternoon, everyone, and thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate the turn-out, and we’re super excited to see your try-outs! Today is going to be quite simple; we’ll start by speaking to you one-by-one to see the range of movements that you can do. Not everyone on the squad has to be able to fly and tumble, so don’t be worried if you can’t do certain flips or jumps – we try to include people of all abilities as long as the raw talent is there, and you’ll be able to learn a lot if you make the squad. Once we’re aware of what you can do, we’ll group you into smaller groups and teach you a simple routine, a slightly different one for each group. We’ll watch you perform the routine as a group after some practice time, and then we’ll assess your Cheer ability one by one, just a couple flips and jumps and things like that. If you really would rather not do them by yourself, that’s okay. Just let one of the squad know, and we’ll pair you with someone else who feels the same. We understand that some of you may not feel confident enough to perform in front of everyone else by yourselves. And it’s okay if you don’t have much confidence, because that’s something we will work on and help you to improve if you make the squad. Does anybody have any questions?’

Dozens of hopeful faces smile back at me, not one hand rising to ask a question, and I smile back. I was nervous about my first time doing this, speaking in front of everyone as newly elected Cheer Captain, but having the rest of the squad behind me makes me feel better. ‘Okay, great. If you could get into four lines in front of each of the seats at the desk, we’ll get started!’ I say excitedly. Irene, Jisoo, Chen and Jihyo (the most responsible people on the squad) are sat behind the desk to write down what people are able to do, the others on the squad dotted around to help if anyone needs it, and all the people here to try-out head over to the desk. I take a moment to take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and I tilt my head back to feel the sun on my face. The weather’s lovely today, warm and sunny with a slight cool breeze, perfect for cheer try-outs, and the turf of the pitch is healthy and green, not yet ruined by the studs on the bottom of the players’ football boots (training doesn’t start ‘til next week).

‘y/n, relax, babe. Everything’s going well, you did a good job,’ Jennie says from behind me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I nod. ‘Yeah, I know. It’s just… being Cheer Captain, it’s big boots to fill.’ ‘I know, but you’ve got all of us helping you out. You know we’re all here to support you. Stop stressing yourself out,’ she says, and I turn to smile at her. ‘Thank you, Jen.’ ‘Don’t thank me, because now I’ve got bad news,’ she says, looking reluctant to speak, and I side-eye her. ‘What?’ ‘We have spectators.’ ‘We always have spectators.’ ‘That’s not what I meant,’ she says, turning me to look over to the bleachers which are a few metres away. And when I spot a group of ASP boys sat there, watching us and waving when I look over, my heart nearly stops. ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding,’ I mutter, putting my hand up to shield my eyes from the sun and see them properly. And of course he’s there. Of course he is.

I haven’t seen him since a week ago today, when I ran out of his room while he was fast asleep and did the most talked about ‘Walk of Shame’ at school in the past year. All week, everyone’s been talking about me and Jimin, and somehow the rumours have spiralled out of control. My friends have reported back that they’ve heard that Hoseok and Namjoon joined us when they walked in on us, that I left before Jimin could finish, that I cried and begged him to let me cum (which my friends have denied on my part despite it being kinda true) and that I left wearing no underwear and flashed everyone on my way out. And that’s not even the worst of the rumours. I’ve tried not to comment on it when people have asked me, and it seems Jimin’s stayed quiet too – I’m sure it would’ve been hot news if he’d said anything.

I woke up the next morning aching, my entire body sore and weak (I really have no idea how I managed to leave the frat house on my feet – it must have been the adrenaline). My neck, jaw and chest were covered in purpling marks, some of them in the shape of his rings, and my waist and ass were covered in dark painful bruises from his tight grip and the endless spanking (the marks and bruises are all still there, by the way, fading but there – I had to cake the makeup on top of them this morning to cover them in my skimpy cheer kit). It hurt to sit down for too long, but it hurt to walk too, so I spent all of Sunday lying down, Jennie nursing me back to health (as she calls it – in reality, she just microwaved some soup for me, and we binge-watched Netflix in bed together). My body isn’t used to intense sex like that because not many university boys are as good at sex as Jimin is. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been zoning out all week (during lectures and seminars, when I was with my friends, at the gym, whilst studying or watching TV, when I was trying to fall in sleep, whilst showering, etc.) thinking back to mind. And I hate it – I hate him. I used to think of him with irritation and borderline rage, but now… the thought of him turns me on. It’s infuriating. I haven’t even gone over to get my stuff – not even my favourite bra (it was sexy and comfy, lacy with no underwire) – for fear of falling back under his stupid spell and getting into his bed again.

When my eyes meet his, it’s like he knows that I’m wet, a small smirk playing at his glossy lips as he runs a vascular hand through his jet-black locks, silver rings glinting in the sunlight. He looks fucking gorgeous, in a pair of loose black slacks and a loose orange shirt, a simple but flattering outfit, with his silver earrings, rings and bracelets. And the irritation inside me pushes down the arousal, and I turn away angrily, hearing their laughter over my shoulder as my eyes meet Jennie’s. ‘I can go speak to them if you want?’ she offers weakly, and I sigh. ‘There’s nothing we can say; they’re allowed to be here. We’re just gonna have to ignore them,’ I say, and she nods, throwing an arm over my shoulders and leading me towards the table.

I oversee the proceedings, making sure everything’s going well, my mind still elsewhere, but after a few minutes, the noise they’re making is unbearable. They’re loud – laughter and shouting echoing around the pitch – and it’s starting to distract the squad, and the people here to try-out. ‘Should I go tell them to shut up?’ Jennie asks, and I nod, reluctant to go over myself. She walks over, hands on her hips, and I know she’s gonna give them hell. But then I start to doubt that when I see them laughing and joking with her, before she comes back over, my expectant gaze being met by her sheepish one. ‘Well?’ I ask, and she winces. ‘They said they don’t take orders from me – only from… the Cheer Captain,’ she says slowly, and I let out a noise of irritation. Jimin being an annoying, difficult, stupid dickhead, I can understand. The others? I thought they were my friends. But obviously they find this whole situation more amusing than anything. It’s not funny for me – I slept with the guy I’m supposed to hate the most! The guy that I do hate the most.

‘I really don’t want to go over there,’ I admit, and Jennie’s eyes soften with sympathy. ‘You don’t have to, y/n, don’t feel pressured. We can cope with their noise – it’s fine, babe,’ she says reassuringly, but I feel guilty. I remember how nervous I was at try-outs, and having a group of rowdy frat boys laughing and shouting every few seconds definitely wouldn’t have helped. It’s up to me as Captain to create a comfortable environment, and with them around, this isn’t comfortable at all. I sigh, shaking my head, before I say, ‘I’ll go.’ ‘Are you sure?’ she asks, and I nod, dread building up inside me. ‘Want me to come with?’ ‘No, you just stay and keep an eye on things.’

I begin walking over, eyes fixed on the ground, and I can literally feel their eyes on me, their anticipation practically palpable. Everyone sat around the pitch is whispering, watching, desperate to see Jimin and I interact after all the rumours of the last week, and I can feel it all, making my nerves build up with every step. When I’m a few feet away from the bleachers, I look up, my eyes instantly meeting his, and I stop, staring at them for a moment. He’s endlessly amused, the smirk on his lips unbearably irritating. ‘Hey, y/n,’ he says easily, a ripple of laughter running around the group, and I don’t reply, matching his light gaze with a hard stare of my own. ‘This isn’t funny, guys, and I would’ve thought you’d know better. How do you think they’re gonna feel when they’re doing their routines and you morons are laughing? None of you can do what they’re doing, not in a million years, so don’t you dare come and sit here to rub my personal life in my face without even thinking of how rude and disruptive you’re being. You should be ashamed,’ I say neutrally, not letting any emotion into my voice, because if I do, I’ll lose my temper completely like I did last week and end up screaming at them. The other boys have the courtesy to look embarrassed of themselves, but Jimin just continues to smirk at me, running his thumb over his plump lips. My insides churn with anger at him being such a dick, but I don’t say a thing, waiting for one of them to reply. ‘Sorry, y/n. We didn’t think,’ Jin says, apologetic, and the others mutter apologies too, all except Jimin. ‘Don’t apologise. Just shut up,’ I reply before turning on my heel, walking away and ignoring the indiscernible whispers and stifled laughter.

‘Whatever you said, it definitely worked,’ Jennie says, and I nod curtly, still pissed off. ‘You okay?’ she asks, and my shoulders slump. ‘No. I’m supposed to be the Captain, I’m supposed to be nice and smiley and kind, and now I’m just angry, because of them, because of him,’ I sigh tiredly, and Jen looks at me sadly before putting an arm around my shoulders. ‘Don’t let them get you worked up, babe – today’s important, okay? Just focus on the try-outs,’ Jennie says, and I nod, trying my best to let my annoyance go, but it’s easier said than done. I wait impatiently for the first part of today to be done, desperate to have something to do so I can distract myself. And as soon as the last person has finished speaking to Jisoo, I call for everyone’s attention, telling them to start warming up. I sit down with Irene, Jisoo, Jihyo and Chen, and we quickly put people in similar-ability groups, based on the notes that the four of them have made whilst speaking to them; potential flyers, bases and spotters, and tumblers. The routines aren’t too different – just to test their dancing ability, and to see if they have the kind of body control needed for their different positions.

Once we’ve grouped them, Irene reads out the groups, the flyers with Lisa and Seulgi, bases and spotters with Kai, and tumblers with Momo, the rest of the squad supporting. I take a seat at the desk, making notes on people who catch my eye (they’re all wearing little name stickers, so I send Jennie over to find out their names). Jiwon, the pretty sophomore from last week, is really good – her dancing is great, and she’s light on her feet, the perfect flyer. I’m already certain she’ll make the team, because she’s super smiley and energetic too (I wave at her when I catch her eye, and she waves back excitedly, huge smile on her face). Watching them all learning the dances, making notes, evaluating them, it gets me in the zone. Focusing on this, I’m in my Captain mindset, having completely forgotten about the stupid disruption earlier. There’s definitely some potential here, and I have no doubt we’ll do really well at Nationals this year – I’ll be pissed if we don’t come first (and I’ll also be the first Captain in ten years that doesn’t lead us to victory, which is a pretty big deal).

Once they’ve learnt their dances, we split each group in half so there are less people to focus on, and they perform the dances to us. They’re all quite good – there’s a couple people who, bless them, will definitely not make the team, and I feel bad, but I have to be ruthless. It’s my job to make sure I give us the best chance at winning. We give them a little break after they’ve performed, and we all sit together to compare notes. We’ve pretty much all put the same people down, but we can’t make any final decisions until we watch them do their Cheer moves. ‘Okay, is everybody ready?’ I ask after getting their attention. ‘We’re going to have a look at your moves now. So they’re pretty basic, nothing too strenuous. Can someone show them what they’ve got to do?’ I say, turning to face the squad, and before anyone can speak, Kai says, ‘y/n, you should. You’re the captain after all.’ I return his mischievous grin with a hard stare, but the others all give various agreements, pushing me to show them. ‘I haven’t even warmed up,’ I mutter, everyone laughing.

‘Okay, we’ll start with a basic standing split. So, you just lift your leg, whichever your better leg is, and bring it right up like this, with your arm in front of it, and hold it there for a few seconds,’ I say, my left leg up against my body, my right arm holding my foot above my head. It’s a little painful because I haven’t warmed up, but I’ve done this move enough times that it’s pretty easy. I hear applause a little distance away, knowing it’s those stupid boys, and then everyone trying out starts clapping too, making me drop my leg and laugh embarrassedly. ‘Okay, thanks, guys, you can stop now,’ I say lightly, and everyone starts laughing. I show them all of the other moves – a full split, a pike jump, a toe touch jump, a hurdler jump, a front flip, a back flip and an aerial, getting applause for each movement, triggered by our idiot spectators. ‘So we’ll call you up one-by-one, unless you’ve asked us to go with someone else, and we’d like you to a show us a clasp, a high V, a T motion, and then go into the moves that you’re confident with. Show us your personality – we want bright and bubbly people on the squad, so don’t be afraid to chant or whatever, if you want to,’ I say as I take my seat behind the desk, Irene, Chen, Jihyo, Jisoo and Jennie sat with me, the rest of the squad sat around on the grass, enjoying the warmth and just watching the proceedings.

After a couple of people, it starts to get repetitive, but I remain focused, knowing I need to pay attention to differentiate between the good and the great. Jiwon is fantastic – she’s making the team without a doubt. Once they’re all done (nearly two hours later), I call them all over to sit beside the desk. ‘Thank you all so much for coming, and well done. What you did takes a lot of courage and you should all be so proud of yourselves, whether you make the squad or not. We’ve got your details from earlier, so we’ll be in contact within the next couple days to let you know if you made it. Thank you, and you are free to go,’ I smile, all of them letting out expressions of gratitude as they get up, heading to the bleachers to get their stuff and go. ‘Jiwon!’ I call, the girl turning to look. ‘Can I have a word?’ I say, the girl telling her friends to wait for her as she walks towards me. I head over to her, and we meet in the middle of the pitch, with no-one around. I don’t want anyone to hear and accuse me of favouritism.

‘Hey, y/n.’ ‘Hi, Jiwon. You did a really good job, definitely shone through. You’re fantastic,’ I say, and she smiles shyly. ‘Thank you. I have been cheering for a long time, though, so I did have an advantage,’ she says humbly, and I wave it off. ‘Don’t give me excuses – just accept the compliment. Anyway, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you caught a lot of our eyes, Jiwon. I’m pretty certain you’ll make the squad. First practice is next Saturday, 2 ‘til 4, and we’re just gonna do an introductory session, get to know one another and have a proper look at what everyone can do. Make sure you’re on time, and ready to try out some stunts. And work on your pike jump over the week – your fingers were literally millimetres away from your toes. A little practice, and you’ll have it perfect. And you were the teeniest bit wobbly in your standing split, so just work on your balance a little,’ I say, and she nods enthusiastically, taking in every word. Whilst I’m speaking, I notice Jimin approaching us, and Jiwon does too, looking flustered when she spots him. But she sees the way I ignore him completely, and does the same, just listening to me.

‘Thank you, y/n, I really appreciate it. Also, can I ask for your advice about something?’ she asks, and I nod, surprised she wants my advice. Jimin is now stood right beside us, but neither of us pay attention to his presence, keeping our eyes on each other. ‘What do you do to warm up for your splits? I warm up, but it’s always painful when I do them, and you did them really well, so I thought I’d ask.’ ‘I do a lot of yoga, actually, which really helps. We always get here around twenty minutes before practice, and the others do laps and things like that to warm up, but I do a bit of yoga, which helps loosen my body a lot. And then, just before I start a routine, I bend in half, and hold my head against my shins for like half a minute, to loosen my legs. It’s a little painful, but it gets your legs ready for the stretch that you feel when you’re in the splits,’ I say, and she listens eagerly to every word. His presence is starting to bother me, especially the way he’s completely silent, a stupid smirk on his face. ‘Thank you, y/n. I’m gonna head off now, but thanks for the advice. Are you going to KPN’s party tonight?’ she asks, and I sigh, thinking back to the text invite that Jackson from Kappa Phi Nu sent out a couple days ago. ‘I’m not sure. I was gonna just head to the gym for a late-night workout but Jennie’s trying to convince me to go,’ I explain, and she nods. ‘Well, I hope you do come. It’d be nice to see you there,’ she says, and I smile at her, touched. And then I lose my patience, turning to him with annoyance, and he grins, draping his arms around our waists.

‘My two favourite girls,’ he says with a grin, making me want to slap him, and we both push his arms off us in disgust, moving away from him slightly. ‘Look at you two. Best friends now, huh? If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even know each other, so I think a ‘thank you’ is in order,’ he says smugly, my eyes widening at him as Jiwon shoots him a dirty look. God, I love this girl. ‘Fuck you, Park,’ I say without thinking, and his eyes sparkle, mischief in his grin as he replies, ‘I already did, babe, keep up.’ And then he reaches into his back pocket, pulling his hand back out with something black and lacy hanging off his finger. My favourite bra. ‘Remember? You left this?’ ‘Park!’ I hiss, grabbing it from his hand and panicking for a moment, not sure where to put it (my cheer kit doesn’t have pockets) before I tuck it into his front pocket hastily. It’s too late, though, because everyone in the area who was watching saw it, laughter rippling around us. ‘I would’ve brought your pants too, but they were ripped, so I figured there was no point,’ he says, and I give him an angry stare, jaw hurting from how hard I’m clenching it. He just grins back, Jiwon looking between us for a few seconds before she says, ‘my friends are waiting for me, y/n, so I’m gonna go. I hope to see you later.’ ‘Okay, Jiwon. See you. Remember to work on your pike jump, and your standing splits. If you get here early, we can do some yoga together,’ I say, trying to push down the humiliation as the girl nods with a smile before she goes to join her friends who are watching us. Everyone’s watching us.

‘Your standing splits were good,’ he says, and I sigh, rolling my eyes. ‘I’m literally giving you a compliment!’ ‘I don’t care, you fucking dick.’ ‘Wow, never mind. I was gonna say that I could put your flexibility to good use, but forget it,’ he says, failing to hold back his grin, and I narrow my eyes at him. ‘Why the fuck did you come, Park? I thought I made it clear last week that I’m not interested in you,’ I say harshly, hurt momentarily appearing on his face before he masks it with a smirk, making me feel a little guilty. ‘We always come to watch try-outs. Entertainment for a couple hours. And it doesn’t hurt seeing you in this kit either,’ he says, taking the hem of my skirt into his hand, fingers momentarily skimming against my thigh, and I slap his hand away, feeling exposed in my kit all of a sudden. It’s quite revealing – a short blue skirt with a white border and a long-sleeved blue cropped top with shoulder cut-outs, with our school name written across the chest in white. It’s super cute though, even more so with the white pumps and frilly white ankle socks, and the blue and white bows on our ponytails. The boys wear the same colour scheme, blue and white t-shirts and shorts.

‘I swear to God, Park, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today,’ I say tiredly, and he pouts, eyes still sparkling with amusement. ‘You were last week.’ ‘Things change. You can go now,’ I say pointedly, and he grins, taking a step closer to me, so close I can see every flaw on his face that he doesn’t have, and places a gentle hand on my waist. ‘I’ll go, but one last thing. I’ve gotta go drop my shit off in the changing rooms – Coach said we all have to, ready for next week – and I’ll wait in there for… hmm, shall I be nice? Okay, ten minutes. If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve been thinking about me, and what happened last Saturday, all week long. I have. And I want a round two. I’ll wait for ten minutes,’ he says, voice low and face serious, before his whole demeanour changes, smile stretching his lips, hand falling from my waist as he takes a step back. My lips are parted and face warm, eyes locked with his, and my obviously affected appearance makes him let out a chuckle. ‘Ten minutes, angel. If not, I’ll see you tonight, at KPN, and you can get your bra from me there instead,’ he says with a smile, before turning and walking away, leaving me slightly stunned.

‘Close your mouth, babe, you’ll catch flies,’ Jennie says drily, and I turn to look at her, trying to compose myself. ‘He just asked me for a round two in the changing rooms,’ I whisper, and she gasps loudly, catching the attention of everyone around us. ‘Shut up!’ I hiss, and she claps a hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry, sorry. I’m just… shook. Are you gonna go?’ she asks, and I hesitate to answer, his dark eyes in my mind, my underwear embarrassingly damp. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Bitch, stop kidding yourself – you want to, so just go,’ she says, but before I can reply, Kai joins us. ‘Um, y/n, there are a couple people waiting to ask you some questions,’ he says, and I sigh, looking over his shoulder to see some people hovering. I quickly rush over to them, listening to their questions (which are so unnecessary, might I add? Why do you need to know where to get the uniform from, or the date of Nationals this year, if you’re not even on the squad yet?) and answer them as quickly as I can, trying to be polite, but impatient, worried that my ten minutes will run out.

As soon as the last person’s done, Jennie grabs my arm and whispers, ‘it’s been nine minutes. I’ll pack stuff up, you just go.’ ‘Thank you, you’re the best,’ I whisper back. I rush off, speed walking across the pitch before someone can stop me, in the direction of the changing rooms. When I reach the door, I push it open slowly, listening out for any voices. And then I wonder – is this a prank? Is this payback for me leaving him last week? Are they all gonna be waiting there to jump out and laugh at me? But, no. He wouldn’t. Surely, he wouldn’t stoop that low? ‘Jimin?’ I whisper, hearing nothing back, and I venture in. ‘Jimin?’ I say a little louder, walking down the main aisle slowly, looking between the rows of lockers on either side of me. I call his name again, and when I reach the end of the lockers, stepping out into the open changing area, a wooden bench running around the walls, I feel a pair of hands push me up against the last locker, the metal clang echoing loudly around the room as I try to get my bearings, blinking to see Jimin stood in front of me, his body pressed up against mine.

‘You took eleven minutes, you fucking tease,’ he whispers, hand appearing at my throat and tightening instantly, my mind momentarily thinking back to last week, when he left bruises the shape of his rings around my neck. ‘Didn’t mean to. Got held up,’ I breathe out, and he pushes my head back at an unnatural angle, his dark eyes, blown wide with desire, locking with my own. ‘How can I believe you, after you left last week?’ he spits out, and I feel my stomach turn; I didn’t think he’d be that bothered, but it’s obvious he’s angry that I left him. ‘Never said I’d stay,’ I reply, with a small grin, and he growls angrily, pushing up against me even harder. ‘You’re the first girl that’s ever left without me telling her to. Trying to play me at my own game?’ he asks, amusement creeping into his voice, but he’s mainly angry, veins corded tight and body tense, fist curled and jaw clenched. ‘No. I just don’t like you,’ I reply, voice strained because of his hand tight at my neck, head beginning to go dizzy, and he lets out a humourless laugh.

‘Sure. Of course you don’t. Let’s see how much you don’t like me,’ he says, free hand pushing one of my legs out wider, so he has space to put his hand up my skirt. His finger slides beneath my tight safety shorts, and he lets out a laugh when he feels how wet my underwear is, making me look away from him in embarrassment. ‘Look at me,’ he demands, my eyes flitting back to his as he pushes my pants out of the way, swiping a finger along my dripping wet slit. I let out a shaky breath, and he chuckles. ‘I think you’re lying to me, angel. I think you actually do like me. A lot,’ he grins as he pulls his hand from my skirt, lifting his finger, glistening with my arousal, to my mouth. I keep my lips pressed shut, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Don’t make me punish you. This isn’t a repeat of last week – there’s other things I want to do to you,’ he says lowly, a thrill running through me, but I’m still as stubborn as last week. ‘I’m not here for a round two. I’m here for my bra,’ I exhale, and he rolls his eyes with a little laugh, his hand tightening at my neck. ‘You can earn it.’ ‘What is it… with you stealing my… things?’ ‘I didn’t steal anything. You left your bra when you did your little walk of shame. So it’s mine now – it’s been in my room for a week, with your tight jeans and your pretty top and those cute heels, and that little bag, with your keys and lip-gloss and pads in it. And because it’s all mine, I want you to earn it back,’ he replies before leaning down and pressing his lips to my ear, his beautiful scent flooding my senses.

‘Let me fuck your tits,’ he whispers, making my stomach clench with the thought of it, before he pulls back from me, searching my face for any kind of reaction. ‘And they say romance is dead,’ I whisper dryly, and he laughs, a startled laugh, as though he wasn’t expecting a joke from me. It makes my heart flutter a little, which then makes me want to slap myself. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asks with a mischievous grin. ‘No. It isn’t,’ I reply, and he sighs before letting go of me. ‘Fine. Let’s just talk then, if you don’t wanna fuck,’ he says neutrally, sitting down on the bench opposite me, and I’m disarmed at his sudden 180. ‘Sit down, y/n,’ he says, motioning to the bench and, for once, I listen to him, sitting down. He leans back against the wall and runs a hand through his hair, legs spread, thick thighs on display. Last week, the lighting from his bedroom lamp was low and sultry, but the lighting in here is bright and cold, and he still looks fucking gorgeous.

‘Who did you tell?’ he asks, and I know he’s asking what I’ve been wondering all week – who actually knows the full story. ‘Who did you tell?’ I ask, purposely being difficult, and he rolls his eyes, grin pulling at his lips. ‘Hobi and Tae are the only ones that know the full story. Jin, Yoongi, Joon and Kook know vaguely. Now tell me who you told,’ he says, and I’m surprised he’s kept it only to his closest friends – I thought for sure the whole frat would know. ‘y/n. Who did you tell?’ Nayeon, Lisa, Mina, Irene, Dahyun, Yeri, Jeongyeon, Seulgi, Sana, Jisoo, Chaeyoung, Joy, Momo, Wendy, Jihyo, Tzuyu and- ‘Jennie.’ ‘That’s it? Just Jennie?’ ‘And.. a couple of the other girls.’ He raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing me. ‘Did you tell them everything?’ ‘Only Jennie knows about me leaving when you… wanted me not to,’ I say, and he nods, looking a little embarrassed, and I feel so guilty, but I had to. ‘Why did you do it?’ he asks quietly, and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. ‘Because… we’re supposed to hate each other, and we had sex, Jimin. I couldn’t share a bed with you after that, I just… couldn’t.’ ‘Would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he asks, and I sigh, not wanting him to ask these questions, not wanting him to entertain this possibility. Because Jimin’s the type of boy to want what he can’t have, and as soon as I let him have me, more than just physically, he won’t want me anymore.

I get up and walk over to him, his eyes on me, and when I’m stood right in front of him, in between his legs, I drop to my knees. ‘y/n,’ he says slowly, as though he wants me to wait, but I can’t talk about this right now. ‘Shut up,’ I say before pulling my top over my head and throwing it behind me, leaving me in my bra. He’s quickly distracted, eyes lost in my chest, and I can see the bulge in his jeans growing already. I lift a hand to his crotch, palming him over his jeans, and his head falls back, a little moan falling from his lips. ‘Please, y/n, don’t tease,’ he breathes out, and I clench involuntarily at getting him like this. ‘Take your jeans off,’ I whisper, and he quickly unbuttons and unzips them, holding himself up from the bench and pushing them down with his underwear, just enough to free his cock. He’s only half-hard, but he’s already big, girthy and long, making me lick my lips at the sight of him. He tugs on his length a couple times to get himself fully hard, letting out little grunts, and I feel more arousal dampen my underwear. After a few seconds, I push his hands away, taking his length into my hands, and he shuffles forwards on the bench, giving me proper access to his cock.

I collect my saliva up on my tongue and spit at his dick, the saliva landing on his tip and slowly dripping down his length. I use my hand to spread it out before I take his swollen head into my mouth, kitten licking the tip before swirling my tongue around him. He pulls my bow out of my hair and grabs my ponytail, but restrains himself from trying to control my movements, letting me take my time with him. I don’t wait long before I’m taking him as far into my mouth as possible, before slowly bobbing my head up and down his length. ‘God, angel, your mouth is so fucking good. So good for me, such a dirty girl,’ he praises, head back against the wall but eyes on me, and when I look up at him through my lashes, he grins down at me. I hollow out my cheeks, trying to get my lips around the base of his cock, but my jaw is already hurting from my mouth being around his thick length. ‘Get me all the way in, baby, I know you can,’ he prompts, and I try my hardest, gagging around him, and it’s so fucking messy, saliva around my mouth and dripping down my chin. He decided to help, pushing my head even further down, and when my nose hits his skin, his abdomen contracts, a heavenly moan of my name falling from his lips.

Once I deem his cock sufficiently wet, I remove him from my mouth and reach behind me to unclasp my sports bra, pulling it off, feeling satisfied when his eyes are locked on my breasts. ‘Stand up,’ I say, and he does so, quickly, moving aside to let me sit on the bench. I perch on the edge, knees together, and Jimin stands in front of me, one leg on either side of mine. ‘Push your tits together for me, angel,’ he says, and I do so, the boy moving even closer to me. I feel his head against the bottom of my breasts, wet and hard, before slowly pushing up, breath catching in his throat as he goes as far as he can, his pink tip emerging through my cleavage. ‘Fuck, that feels good. Hold them tighter, babe,’ he says, and it starts to hurt when I do so, but the pleasure on his face as he thrusts, fucking my tits aggressively, more than makes up for it. I spit down into the valley of my breasts, for better lubrication, and he lets out a moan, thrusting even harder. And then he lifts a hand, landing a slap on one of my breasts. ‘Um, ow,’ I say, and he lets out a little chuckle, his thrusting not faltering for a moment. ‘So soft. Best tits I’ve ever seen,’ he says, landing a slap on the other, and I stop myself from slapping his balls because I don’t want to kill his vibe. And he’d probably enjoy it, the kinky bastard. I look down to see precum leaking from his tip, and I lean down, meeting one of his thrusts with my tongue, licking his precum, and he lets out a moan. ‘God, yes, baby. So good for me,’ he grunts, before his thrusts start to slow, until he eventually moves away from me.

‘Love your tits, angel, but I wanna cum in you instead,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the bench. ‘Put your clothes back on,’ he says, my eyes widening in confusion. ‘What? Why?’ ‘Because I’ve always wanted to fuck you while you’re wearing your cheer kit. Hurry up and put it on before I decide to leave,’ he says pointedly, and I feel guilt surge through me as I grab my bra from the floor, pulling it back on, and turning around for him to clasp it for me. He does so, taking ages (it seems he’s better at taking bras off than putting them on), and then I pull my top back over my head. As soon as I’m redressed, he pushes me up against the nearest locker, winding me, before his hand strays down to beneath my skirt. ‘You gonna take these booty shorts off before I rip them off you?’ he says, plump lips against my neck, and I push him off, quickly pulling off my safety shorts (these are the only pair I have at the moment – I ordered a pair online and they’re due in a couple weeks – so I really don’t need him ripping them). ‘They’re safety shorts, not booty shorts,’ I mutter, as I kick them off, and he doesn’t waste any time in pushing me up against the lockers again. He presses his lips to mine in a tame kiss (he doesn’t even use his tongue), mouths moving together for a few seconds before he pulls away, sinking to his knees.

‘You’ve been on your knees for me twice now, baby, so I think it’s time I repaid the favour. And I believe I promised to eat your pussy with my… pretty lips,’ he says, quoting my words from last week, and my stomach turns as he grabs the front of my underwear. He violently pulls at them, tearing them away from my body, and I refrain from kneeing him in the face for ruining a second pair of pants. He pushes my legs apart before pulling one over his shoulder, his face inches from where I need him. ‘Jimin… please,’ I whine, and he chuckles, expelling warm air across my dripping wet core, making me shudder. ‘See, baby, you’re being so good for me today, saying my name, and begging like a good girl. And good girls don’t get punished, don’t get spanked until their ass is raw. Good girls get rewarded,’ he says before his head disappears beneath my skirt and I feel him lick a slow bold stripe across my slit, my hips jerking at the feeling, pushing my core closer to his face. He swirls his tongue around my clit, and I let out a whimper of his name, making him chuckle as he grabs onto my waist to hold me in place. ‘So fucking sweet, angel. Best pussy I’ve ever tasted. Could eat you all day.’ He laps at me like there’s no tomorrow, my hands gripping onto his strong shoulders and head thrown back against the lockers. He brings his fingers to my clit, rubbing slow circles, at the stimulation at my bundle of nerves paired with his long, quick licks have me moaning out his name, my stomach already tightening with the threat of an orgasm.

And then he pushes a finger between my folds, pumping in and out of me as I clench around him. ‘Gotta stretch you out for my fat cock, baby, take it like a good girl. Stop clenching, babe,’ he murmurs soothingly against my inner thigh, his thick finger quickly being joined by another. ‘Ah, Jimin, feels so fucking good,’ I moan out, and he hums in response before attaching his lips to my clit, sucking at the bundle of nerves before adding another finger, three thick digits stretching me out. ‘Such a good little slut for me, angel. You take my fingers so fucking well,’ he says, lips still against my clit, and I feel my high nearing quickly, moans and whimpers escaping from my lips every few seconds. He’s so good with his mouth, his plump lips wrapping around my clit and sucking harshly, before he licks along my folds, fingers still pumping into me, curling against my spongy spot every few seconds, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it, the pace of his fingers ever increasing, his lips and tongue attacking my core with passion.

And then we hear the door of the changing room open, followed by a group of loud male voices, laughing and joking. Before I can even register it, Jimin’s on his feet, scooping me into his arms and practically sprinting into the shower area, rushing into one of the cubicles. He puts me down carefully, a hand over my mouth, and I feel my orgasm fading away because of the fear of being caught by his teammates. And in my mind, the logical thing to do is to be silent and wait for them to leave, right? But Jimin isn’t logical, and he pushes me up against the brick wall, pumping his cock in his free hand. He removes his hand from my mouth, tapping my left leg before tapping his shoulder, and I get the message, putting my leg up over his shoulder, despite thinking that this is a terrible idea. And then he puts his hand back over my mouth before slowly sliding into me, his huge cock stretching me out painfully, filling me up completely, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to moan out his name, my head falling back against the wall with a dull thud. ‘What was that?’ I hear one of the boys say, the others asking what he’s talking about, and I feel panic fill me. But along with the panic is arousal at the idea of being caught, my pussy gushing around him, and he smirks, slowly thrusting into me, the curve of his dick allowing him to hit my g-spot (I’m certain Megan wrote Captain Hook about him).

I hear footsteps nearing us, before they stop abruptly. ‘Oh, my God,’ I hear a voice say quietly, before more footsteps can be heard. ‘What?’ ‘Look.’ ‘Whoa. Is that…?’ ‘Yes. One of the cheerleader’s bows.’ Panic strikes through me, and Jimin just grins, continuing to fuck me slowly, making me feel every inch of him. ‘And those are the shorts they wear, right?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘And are those… pants?’ ‘Yep. And they look ripped.’ ‘Is someone fucking in here?’ ‘No, we’d be able to hear them. They’re probably gone.’ ‘You think?’ ‘Yes. And I don’t wanna double check. Let’s just go.’ I feel my fear ebbing away as the footsteps get quieter before the door opens and closes. We’re both silent for a few moments, just to make sure they’re gone, before Jimin pulls all the way out of me, slamming back in. I let out a loud moan against his hand, which he moves to rest at the base of my throat, cock hammering into me ruthlessly. ‘Look how wet you are for me, baby. My little bitch likes the idea of getting caught with a fat cock inside her, huh? Does the idea of being walked in on turn you on, babe?’ he asks, and all I can do is nod, moans falling from my lips every few seconds as he slams into me, the drag of his cock against my walls making me weak.

‘Taking me so well, angel, letting me fill you up and stretch you out so good, baby,’ he praises, voice strained with effort, as he pounds into me, my mind completely blank of anything, of everything but him. I feel my orgasm nearing, my walls clenching around him, but that doesn’t stop him plunging into me, hard, his balls slapping up against my ass, one hand gripping onto his shoulder whilst the other is splayed against the cold wall. My leg is beginning to hurt being up against his shoulder, especially because all my body weight is resting on the toes of my other foot (I can’t get my whole foot on the floor), but he seems to be enjoying it, able to go deep into me at this angle, his tip hitting my cervix. ‘Look how flexible you are, baby, stretching for me like a good little whore. Gonna put your flexibility to good use all the time, babe – I’ll help keep you in shape for Cheer,’ he promises, fingers straying to my clit as he speaks. And then I feel him twitching inside me. ‘Are you close?’ I ask, and he nods, eyes fluttering shut, and I reach down to cup his balls, trying to push him over the edge. ‘Ah, fuck, feels good, y/n, your pussy’s so fucking good. Gonna cum, gonna fill you up like a good little slut,’ he breathes out, and I tighten around him, his head falling back as he lets out a loud moan of my name, hot cum shooting out of his cock, painting my walls. He continues thrusting, hips stuttering as he works himself through his orgasm, and I stay clenched around him to prolong his high.

Once he’s done, he pulls out, and puts me down carefully, taking a moment to get his breath back before tucking his softening cock into his underwear, zipping himself back up. He looks up at me with a grin, his hair messy, face still glistening with my arousal, eyes dark. ‘Good talk,’ he grins before turning and walking away. ‘Um, Jimin?’ I call after him, stepping out of the cubicle with shaky legs. ‘Yes, y/n?’ he asks, turning to look at me, eyes sparkling with mirth. ‘I didn’t…’ I trail off, unsure of what to say. ‘What? You didn’t cum?’ he asks, and I nod, my stomach twisting with hurt when he smirks and says, ‘I know, angel. Only good girls get to cum. And good girls don’t leave in the middle of the night after being asked to stay.’ My mouth drops open at the thought that he’s not going to make me cum, and he grins even wider, before taking a little pity on me. ‘I’ll tell you what, baby. Come to KPN tonight and come find me, and I’ll make you cum as many times as you want,’ he says, but I’m still furious. ‘You’re not being serious?’ ‘Deadly.’ ‘Jimin, please,’ I say, and he just grins back at me. ‘You might wanna clean yourself up. Got my cum dripping down your leg,’ he says, and I look down to see his thick white release slowly trailing down my skin. I curse under my breath, and when I look back up, Jimin’s already out of sight, whistling a merry tune, before I hear the changing room door open and close behind him. And when I slowly walk towards the lockers, I realise my bow, safety shorts and ripped pants are gone too. And he still hasn’t given me back my favourite bra.

I head over to the sinks to clean myself up, cursing at him the entire time. ‘Fucking bastard, and his stupidly big fat fucking cock, stealing all my stuff and leaving me high and dry with his fucking cum dripping down my fucking leg. Didn’t even give me any fucking aftercare, fucking dick,’ I rant angrily as I take my hair out of its messy ponytail, running my fingers through it. Luckily, I haven’t sweated off any of my makeup, the fading marks from last week fully covered, but it’s still clear I’ve just been fucked. And the fact that I don’t have anything on under my skirt isn’t helpful at all – thank God it isn’t windy today because otherwise, I’ll be flashing everyone. Once I’ve deemed myself okay to leave, I push open the changing room doors, looking side to side to make sure no one’s around before I slip out of the door, quickly making my way to mine and Jennie’s accommodation, trying to ignore how desperate I am for a release right now. And not just any release – one on Jimin’s cock. But that’ll have to wait for later – I’ve got a party to get ready for.

‘Jennie! y/n!’ Yeri exclaims when we walk into the kitchen through the back door, throwing her arms around us in a hug. ‘Hey, Yeri,’ we reply, hugging her back, and when she moves away, her eyes widen. ‘Jen, you look good, but y/n! You look good, girl!’ she exclaims. ‘Oh, thanks, Yeri,’ Jennie says sarcastically, but she doesn’t mean it – Jennie always opts for comfort over fashion at frat parties, usually wearing mom jeans, or a loose t-shirt dress (which she rocks by the way – no one pulls off the casual aesthetic like Jennie). And I never dress up too much, sticking to a simple outfit and dressing it up with heels and jewellery. But today, I decided to go all out, dressing to impress in a tight little black dress, hem around my upper thighs, ruched with a bardot neck (I had to forgo a bra, and used tit tape instead to make sure they don’t sag). I’m in a pair of black sparkly heels, much higher than last week’s, with a silver choker, silver hoops and a thin silver bracelet. Jennie has on a shoulder bag, big enough to fit my things in it, so I didn’t bother with a bag, my phone in my hand and my lipgloss, oil blotting sheets and keys in Jennie’s bag. ‘Thanks, Yeri. But look at you! This top is so cute!’

We greet all our friends, Jeongyeon pushing cups into mine and Jennie’s hands (I’m not sure what it is but it tastes nice), before I take a seat between Tzuyu and Lisa at the kitchen island, instantly getting into a conversation about Cheer. KPN parties are always really laidback – people wear whatever they want, drink whatever they want, and I never feel uncomfortable here, or pressured to act a certain way. I can just be myself, and enjoy the night with my friends. ASP’s the opposite in the sense that there’s always pressure – to look good, to end the night with someone, to give everyone something to gossip about.

‘y/n! You came!’ Jackson exclaims when he sees me, pulling me into an expensive smelling hug. ‘Hey, Jackson!’ ‘I was about to make a comment about how late you are, but you look really good, so I’ll let you off,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes. ‘Since when do you have to arrive to parties at a certain time?’ ‘You wouldn’t know, y/n, you’re always fashionably late,’ Tzuyu teases, and I cover my face with embarrassment – never have I arrived at a party before my friends (there’s just something about being there before the party has properly started that makes me want to cringe). ‘Anyway, what are you ladies drinking?’ ‘Diet Coke,’ Tzuyu says as she holds her cup up, Lisa drinking the same. ‘I’m drinking whatever the hell this is – Jeongyeon gave it to me,’ I say, and Jackson takes the cup, sipping from it, before his eyes widen. ‘Yo, this shit slaps. Where’s Jeongyeon? I want some,’ he says, turning away in search of her, and I call after him, ‘get me some more too, please!’

‘So… y/n,’ Lisa says with a knowing grin, making me raise an eyebrow at her. ‘Yes?’ I ask, she and Tzuyu exchanging an amused glance. ‘This dress is nice,’ Tzuyu says with the same knowing look as Lisa, and I look between them suspiciously. ‘Thanks,’ I say slowly, their smiles widening even more. ‘Who are you dressing to impress?’ Lisa asks, and I realise where this conversation is going, letting out a laugh. ‘Ah, you two. Can a girl not dress for herself?’ I grin, both of them raising their eyebrows. ‘Of course. But the timing’s a little suspicious. Not hoping for a round two, are we?’ Tzuyu asks, and I bite my lip embarrassedly. ‘What if we already had round two?’ I say quietly, both of their mouths falling open. ‘What?’ Lisa exclaims, drawing the attention of those around us, and I shut my eyes despairingly. ‘Keep your voice down, stupid!’ Tzuyu exclaims, Lisa murmuring an apology, still looking at me with wide eyes. ‘When?’ ‘Earlier, after practice. I met him in their changing rooms,’ I say, both of them looking even more shocked with each word. ‘Oh, my God! You two are, like, stuck in your own little forbidden and scandalous romance!’ Lisa whispers, and I shoot her a hard look. ‘It’s not a romance. He’s still, like, the most annoying and stupid person I’ve ever met. I mean, he literally left without making me cum, on purpose. He said if I showed up here tonight, he’d make it up to me,’ I whisper, both of them gasping quietly. ‘No way!’ Tzuyu says, and I nod. ‘So you’re gonna have a round three?’ Lisa asks, and I shrug. ‘I’m actually not sure. I don’t know whether I came so that I could leave with him, or so that I could piss him off by getting with someone else,’ I say, both of their eyes lighting up. ‘Get with someone else,’ they chorus, and I let out a gentle laugh.

Before I can reply, Jackson reappears with two cups in hand. ‘It’s Fireball Whisky with cream soda,’ he says, and I blink in surprise, not sure whether to be impressed or disgusted at Jeongyeon’s weird concoction. He takes the empty cup from my hand and hands me a new one, and I thank him as I take a sip. It really is good, and I know I need to be careful not to drink too much – I’ll forget just how strong whisky is and then find myself hunched over the toilet in a few hours, vomiting it all back up. ‘Are you guys gonna just sit here and chat all night? This is a party! We’re supposed to be having a good time,’ Jackson says, and I exchange a glance with the girls. ‘We are having a good time,’ Tzuyu replies mildly, and Jackson rolls his eyes. ‘So you’re not gonna come dance?’ he asks, and we all shake our heads. As much as I do love getting lit, it’s nice to just have a gossip with the girls sometimes. ‘Maybe later,’ I say, and he frowns, shaking his head. ‘You guys are boring.’ ‘Go find Joy, she’ll dance with you,’ Tzuyu suggests, and Lisa nods before adding, ‘and Dahyun. Come find us in a couple hours, and then we’ll dance with you too.’

Jackson quickly disappears, calling out for Joy and Dahyun, and the spot where he was stood is quickly occupied by a boy who I recognise as Chan, one of the boys on the team and a KPN brother. ‘Hi, Chan,’ Tzuyu says, the boy giving us a smile. ‘Hi, guys. You’re all cheerleaders, right?’ he asks, and we nod, confused as to where he’s going with this. ‘Do you wear these, like… little black shorts under your cheer outfits? Like super small, tight, black shorts?’ he asks, and I realise, dread flooding through me as we all nod. ‘They’re called safety shorts,’ Lisa says, and Chan nods. ‘I thought so. We saw a pair earlier, in the changing rooms, with one of the bows you guys wear, and some… underwear. Ripped. So I was just… curious, I guess,’ he says, Tzuyu and Lisa both turning their gazes to me. ‘Um… Chan, I’d be really grateful if you didn’t mention that to anyone,’ I say embarrassedly, the girls stifling laughs as Chan’s face falls with shock. ‘Oh! They were yours?’ he asks, and I nod, totally humiliated. ‘Who was, um, with you when you came in? There was just a couple of you, right?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘There were a few of us, actually. But it’s fine, I’ll tell them not to mention it to anyone. Your secret’s safe with us, y/n,’ he says with a grin, and I give him a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Chan.’ ‘No problem. Before I never mention it again, I just have one question,’ he says tentatively, and I close my eyes briefly, nodding as I brace myself. ‘Were you… in there when we went in?’ he asks, and I take a deep breath before nodding, his eyes widening. ‘In the shower cubicles, right?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘I thought I heard a banging noise,’ he says, and the girls burst out laughing. ‘No, no, it’s because I hit my head on the wall,’ I explain over their laughter, even more embarrassed now. ‘Sorry,’ Chan says, and I wave it off. ‘It’s fine, it’s my own fault for fucking in a public place,’ I say bluntly, and he lets out a gentle laugh.

The girls are still laughing when Chan leaves with the promise of never mentioning it again, and I shoot them dirty looks. ‘Are you gonna stop laughing any time soon or should I just go?’ I ask venomously, and their laughter gets even louder, making me roll my eyes. ‘Fine. I’m going,’ I say, pushing myself off my seat and leaving with my phone and drink in my hands, their laughter continuing behind me. I decide to venture into the living room, but regret my decision the second I walk in and lock eyes with Hyunjin – Chan’s whispering something to him, and he bites down on his lip when he sees me, obviously holding back a laugh at the irony of seeing me as Chan fills him in. I turn on my heel, instantly heading back into the kitchen and ignoring Hyunjin’s loud laughter behind me. But when my eyes meet Lisa’s and she bursts out laughing again, Tzuyu laughing too, I make a decision – I want to go home. I know none of them mean anything by it but it’s really… getting to me. I don’t like that nearly every conversation I’ve had in the last week has come back to Jimin – in fact, I hate it. I’m more than my sexual escapades, whether or not they’re with my worst enemy. I came here to have a good time with my friends tonight – not to speak about my sex life.

‘Mark,’ I say, catching the boy beside me offguard. ‘Oh, hey, y/n. You okay?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I’m great. You?’ ‘I’m good, thanks. What’s up? You look… stressed.’ ‘I’m okay, I just… have you seen Jennie?’ I ask, and he nods, taking me by surprise. ‘I saw her go out the back door a couple minutes ago, with Seulgi and Nayeon,’ he says, and I grin at him. ‘Thank you, Mark, you’re the best!’ I exclaim, not giving him a second to reply before I quickly head towards the back door, ducking through the doorway before anyone else can speak to me. There’s a group of boys stood near the door, passing around a joint, and I quickly head past them, eyes skimming over the surroundings to see if the girls are here. I spot their three dark heads close together, looking at something on Seulgi’s phone, and I rush over. Nayeon spots me first, concern on her face as she watches me head towards them. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ she asks, the other two girls looking up at hearing my name. ‘I… I’m gonna leave,’ I say, all three of them looking at me in surprise – you usually have to drag me away from a party. ‘Why? You look hot, girl! You can’t waste this look!’ Seulgi exclaims, throwing an arm around my shoulders, and I give her a grateful smile. ‘Thanks, Seulgi, but I just… I’m fed up of being teased about Jimin. Maybe it’s God punishing me for sleeping with him, but for fuck’s sake, isn’t him being an idiot punishment enough? I don’t need everyone bringing it up every two fucking seconds,’ I complain, the three of them exchanging amused glances.

‘Oh, babe, it sucks, but you’ve gotta be thick skinned. You have to remember that you have publicly hated him for as long as we’ve all known you, pretty much. The fact that you’ve slept with him is, like, a big deal. It’s hot gossip. Of course people are gonna want to talk about it, and you are gonna get teased. You can’t let it get to you, or people will do it even more,’ Jennie says rationally, and I know she’s right, but I still don’t want to accept it, pouting. ‘I know, you’re right, but I’m already in a bad mood now, and I just wanna go home,’ I say, and I know I’m being immature, but I don’t care. I notice Nayeon’s eyes wander from me to over my shoulder and then she says, ‘well, someone’s coming over, and I don’t whether he’s going to make your mood better or worse.’ I sigh, wanting to cry, and I can feel Seulgi holding back a laugh. ‘Shall I tell him to fuck off?’ Jennie asks, and I shake my head – I don’t have the energy to fight with him today.

‘y/n,’ I hear his stupid voice say, before he appears beside me. He’s dressed in all black, tight ripped jeans and a black button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone and revealing tanned and freckled skin, with a leather jacket over the top of it. He’s wearing silver jewellery again, rings, earrings, bracelets and a necklace, and he looks really fucking handsome, like always. He looks me up and down, his eyes nearly falling out of his head at my appearance as he sweeps his black hair back with one hand, before he looks at my face, the shock being replaced with concern. ‘You okay?’ he asks, and him caring about me makes me want to run a mile – he’s supposed to hate me, not worry when I’m upset and annoyed. ‘I… don’t know,’ I say tiredly, not quite sure what to say, and he looks even more concerned at that. ‘Shall we… give you guys a minute?’ Jennie says, and I look at her in surprise. She just looks back at me with a sad smile, and then I realise; she’s knows that there’s more to this, to me and… Jimin, than just two people who fucked even though they hate each other. And so do I, the thought terrifying me. His feelings are involved, and maybe mine are too, and I already know this is gonna get messy, messier than it should. But I don’t really have it in me to put a stop to it right now. I think I must have hurt him a lot when I left him last week (the thought of him waking up to an empty bed when he thought I would be there beside him makes me feel sick to my stomach) and I don’t ever want to hurt someone like that again. Even if it that someone is Jimin, the most annoying, stupid, selfish, egotistic, infuriating, big-headed person to ever walk the Earth.

I stay silent, and Jimin takes that as a sign to nod at the girls, all of them giving me little hugs before they head back up towards the house. The few people that are outside are watching interestedly and I want to just tell them to all fuck off. I used to think I’d love being the centre of attention all the time, but I’ve definitely changed my mind. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ he asks gently, and I sigh, not meeting his eyes as I think, not sure what to tell him. He stays quiet as he waits for me to speak, which leaves us in a heavy silence. ‘I… I’m just fed up. All anyone’s been speaking to me about is you and I don’t like it because there’s more to talk about to me than my sex life, and I hate that people are always staring at me now and probably thinking all these things about me when they barely know me and everyone’s making me regret sleeping with you but I don’t want to regret it because it was good and I enjoyed it and it was with you, but I don’t know why that’s making me not regret it but I kind of do know because I don’t think that I see you the same as I used to anymore, which is something else I hate because I’m supposed to hate you, and I do but I also don’t think I do, and I’m so confused, and I just want to go home,’ I say miserably all in one breath, and he looks a little taken aback, but nods when I’m finished speaking. ‘I… I’ve been thinking a lot of the same things the last week, and I’m confused too. So if it’s any consolation, I know how you feel,’ he says, and somehow… it is consolation. I already knew his feelings towards me had changed, but hearing that he feels all the other stuff too, it does make me feel better. But I’m a stubborn bitch.

‘No, actually, I’m not sure you do know how I feel. Because I didn’t make it harder for you. I didn’t show up somewhere solely to piss you off, and laugh with my friends to make you feel self-conscious, and be all smug and amused and rude to you, and pull your underwear out of my pocket in front of everyone to embarrass you. So no, Jimin, you don’t know how I feel,’ I reply angrily, unable to help myself, but it’s true – he made this all a hundred times worse at try-outs earlier, and I am angry at him for it. I wait for him to get angry in return, to point out that I probably didn’t make it any better for him by being a bitch, but I’m pleasantly surprised when he just nods, his head dropping sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to, I promise – I never intended to piss you off or to make you feel self-conscious or to embarrass you. I tend to… not think before I do things, and I guess my pride was hurt that you left so I wanted to just save face. And I shouldn’t have… left you earlier. I was just being petty and wanted to get back at you. I’m really sorry,’ he says earnestly, and I’m shocked into silence for a few moments, before I nod.

‘Okay. I accept your apology,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I’m glad. Now… shall I take you home?’ he asks, and I blink in surprise. ‘What?’ ‘You said you wanted to go home so do you want me to take you?’ he offers, and I hesitate for a moment. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because I’m supposed to hate you, and you’re supposed to hate me,’ I whisper, and he raises an eyebrow, taking a step closer to me. ‘Like I said earlier… would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he replies quietly, and I’m silent. ‘I don’t… I don’t know. It’s kinda… scary to think about. And it’s just easier to hate you. And…’ I trail off, and an amused smile appears on his stupid face. ‘You’re too stubborn to not hate me when you’ve hated me for so long, right?’ he says, seeing right through me, and I nod sheepishly. ‘We really need to work on your stubbornness, because I can see a future for us, y/n. If you could just give in to your feelings for me, we could pursue something together,’ he grins, but there’s no humour, no amusement in his voice at all, his honesty nearly winding me. He throws an arm around my shoulders and slowly walks us back up to the house. ‘A future? For you and me?’ I echo, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Yeah! We’ll get married as soon as we finish Uni, have a load of kids, and they can become footballers and cheerleaders to follow in our footsteps,’ he says, and I choke, making him let out a loud laugh. ‘Okay, maybe not as soon as we finish Uni. I’ll make that sacrifice.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘Of course, angel. Anything for you.’

The second we step into the house, all eyes in the kitchen look up at us. ‘Can we help you?’ Jimin asks evenly, daring them to say something, and they’re all silent. ‘Thought so,’ he mutters, leading us over to where the drinks are as conversation resumes around us, albeit much quieter now. Jimin eyes the dozens of bottles covering the countertop before his eyes flit to the cup in my hand. ‘What you drinking, babe?’ he asks quietly, and I hold my drink up for him to try. ‘You trying to roofie me?’ he grins, and I let out a little laugh. ‘It’s Fireball whisky and cream soda. Jeongyeon’s concoction,’ I say, and he grimaces before trying some, his face instantly changing. ‘Oh, wow, that’s good,’ he says, reaching for the whisky bottle to pour himself some. ‘Did you just arrive?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I literally got here, walked into the kitchen, saw you weren’t in here, asked Mark where you were, and he said you were outside. I was coming to apologise,’ he says, and my heart warms. ‘To be honest… I should apologise too,’ I say, and his mouth drops open. ‘I can’t believe my ears. Is stubborn y/n finally discarding her pride?’ ‘Shut up, stupid,’ I laugh, shoving him gently, and he grins. ‘You don’t have to apologise, angel. You were scared that we didn’t hate each other, so you left, and then you were a bitch to me so that I’d hate you. That’s it. Don’t worry about it,’ he says, and I nod, grateful that I don’t have to apologise.

‘Okay,’ he says once he’s poured his drink, ‘shall we get away from all the staring?’ I raise an eyebrow, and he laughs. ‘I didn’t mean that, but if you’re down. I still owe you from earlier,’ he says lowly with a smirk, and my breath catches in my throat. ‘Um… maybe later. Let’s… see what’s going on in the rest of the house,’ I say, and he nods, grinning at my flustered state. And then he takes my hand into his, our fingers laced together, and a little shock runs up my arm at the contact. I nearly slap myself – he was rearranging my guts earlier, but I’m getting butterflies at him holding my hand? Really?

He leads me into the living room, several pairs of eyes turning to us, but he completely ignores them, so I do too. ‘You wanna stay in here?’ he asks over the loud music, and I shake my head. He nods, continuing to lead us through the room into the front hallway. The layout is the same as the ASP house, so Jimin knows his way around, leading me through the hallway and pushing open the door to the other living room, where it’s considerably more chill. The haze of weed lays heavy on the air, music gently pulsing through the room, and there are a lot less people in here, majority the boys on the football team with their girlfriends. ‘Oh, y/n, Chan spoke to me, I…’ Felix calls to me before his eyes land on Jimin behind me, his words trailing off when he spots our intertwined hands. ‘Yeah, it’s… yeah,’ I say, a little embarrassed, and Felix just nods, holding back a laugh when Jimin looks between us. ‘What did Chan speak to you about, Lix?’ Jimin asks, and I cringe. ‘They’re the ones that walked into the changing rooms earlier,’ I say under my breath, and he lets out a little noise of realisation with a nod, a smirk playing at his lips as he looks at Felix, the boy looking endlessly amused. ‘Oh, are you guys talking about how we walked in on you in the changing room?’ Jisung calls out tactlessly, and I close my eyes, gathering myself, as laughter ripples around the room. ‘You know what? Let’s just leave,’ I say tiredly, more laughter following my words, and Jimin nods, bidding goodbye to his friends with a smug grin as he leads me out of the room.

‘Shall we sit outside?’ he suggests, and I nod, letting him pull me through the front door. I shut the door behind us, and when I turn back, Jimin’s sat on the front step, looking out onto the front garden. It’s surprisingly empty, and it’s quiet out here, the only noise coming faintly from inside. I sit down beside him, pulling my dress down, and Jimin notices, a greasy smirk appearing on his face. ‘I swear to God, Park, I will not hesitate to throw this drink at you,’ I say, and he laughs, eyes disappearing behind their lids. ‘I was just gonna say that you look really nice. That dress really suits you,’ he grins, and I eye him suspiciously, holding back a laugh. He holds his hands up, feigning innocence, and I let out a gentle laugh, taking a sip of my drink. ‘Did you wear it for me?’ he asks, and I nod without looking at him. ‘Good choice. I like it,’ he replies, reaching for my hand, and I can’t help the small smile on my face as he laces his fingers with mine, our hands resting in my lap.

We both fall into a comfortable silence, and it’s really nice. It’s like all the other stuff falls away and doesn’t matter anymore, and we’re just a girl and a boy sat on the front steps of a frat house, taking a moment away from the party under the night sky, holding hands and drinking whisky and soda. We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I think that this is what true peace is like; when things are quiet and simple and easy, and nothing’s bothering me, nothing’s complicated or confusing, nothing matters. It’s almost too good to be true.

The door behind us opens after a few minutes, both of us turning to see Jeongin and Changbin, two more boys on the team, and Jimin grins widely when he sees them. I turn to face the front garden again, my back to the boys with my hand still in Jimin’s, both resting in my lap. ‘Boys! How are you? Ready for first practice next week?’ Jimin asks them, and I roll my eyes amusedly – football is their livelihood, and Jimin’s in his element talking about football, even more now that he’s been promoted to Captain. ‘Looking forward to it, Captain!’ Jeongin exclaims, hyping Jimin up even more. ‘Before we get distracted with football, we thought we’d let you know that, um, Rosie’s been looking for you. She asked us where you were and we said we didn’t know so we could buy you some time, but she’ll probably find you soon,’ Changbin says, and I freeze at the mention of his ex, Jimin wincing. ‘Um, okay, thanks, guys. I’ll, uh, speak to you later,’ he says, dismissing them, and they quickly disappear with a ‘bye’ thrown over their shoulders before the door shuts.

‘Why is Rosie looking for you?’ I ask amusedly, knowing exactly why she’s looking for him. She and Jimin have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for a long time, but he ended it for good at the end of last year, and stayed true to his word. According to the rumours, they don’t even talk anymore, just walk past each other without a word, and they haven’t slept with each other again. But she’s obviously got wind about me, and is jealous. ‘Um, yeah, about that. There’s probably something I should tell you,’ he says hesitantly, and I feel my body go a little cold as I turn my eyes to him – maybe there is a different reason she’s looking for him. ‘I… may have… slept with her… on Tuesday,’ he says, and the words don’t really register with me for a moment. ‘y/n?’ he says, eyes full of worry and I blink, realisation washing over me.

He slept with her. Four days ago.

I remove his hand from mine, and he flinches when I do so, retracting his hand slowly. ‘What… were you thinking?’ I ask, and he just blinks for a moment. ‘I was thinking that you hated me because you left and I was hurt so I found comfort in someone else,’ he says, tone neutral, but I can hear the defensiveness coming through. And, okay, maybe that is a good enough reason. But I’m still angry. Do I even have a right to be angry? ‘But your ex? Jimin, I-’ ‘Yes, y/n, my ex. I don’t really think you have a right to be angry. You left me. You knew my feelings for you were different to what you first thought, and you left anyway!’ he exclaims, voice rising, and I roll my eyes, letting out a humourless laugh. ‘I wasn’t obligated to stay just because you liked me!’ ‘But you liked me too!’ ‘I’m not sure I did, Jimin, and I’m still not sure about it! Besides, you literally said like fifteen minutes ago that you understood why I left and that I didn’t need to apologise for it!’ I point out, and he scoffs. ‘I do understand, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less, y/n. I was hurting and she was at the ASP house picking up her hair clip that she lost at the party and one thing led to ano-’ ‘So she just happened to be at the house, picking up a hair clip, three days after what happened between you and me? You don’t think she planned that?’ I say incredulously, unable to believe how dense he is. ‘So what if she did? To me, it was meaningless sex, to get my mind off you. I don’t think you have a right to be angry.’ ‘I don’t think I do either, but I still am!’ I exclaim, and he rolls his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. ‘You’re not angry, you’re jealous.’ ‘I’m not jealous, Jimin, don’t be ridiculous,’ I scoff, even more pissed off now. ‘You are.’ ‘If I said, ‘let’s go upstairs and fuck’ right now, you would be down, so what have I got to be jealous about?’ I ask lowly, and his eyes darken. ‘Fine. You’re not jealous. You’re angry I slept with someone else because you like me. Don’t even bother saying you’re still not sure because that’s the only reason for you to be angry. And in that case, I understand. And I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,’ he says calmly, and I don’t say anything, looking away from him.

After a few moments, he reaches for my hand tentatively, gauging my reaction before lacing our fingers together again. ‘You don’t have to apologise. I’m just being silly,’ I say, and he chuckles, moving closer to me. ‘I’ll apologise as many times as you need me to. I really do like you, y/n, and I kinda have for a while. I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is happening between us. And I know you’re still reluctant and you still want to hate me or whatever, but I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready. I’m happy to take time to win you over,’ he says softly, and my heart warms a little. The contrast between this Jimin and the Jimin from last week really is insane. There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track. ‘Sorry,’ I say, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘You don’t have to apologise for getting angry that I slept with my ex, even if we didn’t make any commitments to each other. I understand,’ he says simply, and I can’t help the smile on my face as I shuffle even closer to him, our sides pressed together and my head resting on his shoulder.

And again, it’s nice. But it really is too good to be true. The door behind us is wrenched open before we hear, ‘Jimin?’ I sigh, Jimin turning to look at Rosie. ‘Rosie,’ he replies, voice neutral, and I turn around, our eyes meeting. ‘Hi, Rosie,’ I smile at the girl. I’ve never actually had a problem with Rosie – we run in the same social circles, she’s a Cheerleader, and we’ve never been close but from what I know of her, she’s okay. ‘Hi, y/n. Do you mind if I speak to Jimin for a moment?’ she says sweetly. ‘Of course,’ I reply with a smile, not moving a muscle, and Jimin sighs. ‘y/n, please,’ he says, and I turn to him, annoyance unfurling in my chest. ‘Okay,’ I say coldly, dropping his hand from mine and rising up, brushing past Rosie into the house.

What is wrong with him? Has he got no common sense? The logical thing to have done is obviously to not speak to her – what could she possibly have to say? All she’s going to do is try to get him back. And he’s really stupid enough to ask me to leave? Am I a dickhead? I let out an angry sigh, deciding that I’ve had enough. He’s been spouting all this shit about how he doesn’t want to fuck this up, and then literally like two fucking minutes later, he’s having a private conversation with his ex. This is like ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ but in real life. He’s Peter, Rosie’s Gen and I’m Lara Jean. Somehow though, I feel like I won’t have the same happy ending.

‘y/n!’ I hear Jennie call from the other living room, where she’s sat with Jihyo and Irene, and I sigh, heading in. ‘What’s happened?’ she asks, and I roll my eyes, the attention of everyone in the room on me. ‘He apologised and we made up but then he asked me to leave so he could have a private conversation with his ex,’ I say, and they all gasp, confirming that I’m not a crazy bitch and that he shouldn’t be having private conversations with his ex. ‘Oh, girl, you better not forgive his stupid ass,’ Jihyo says, the other girls in the room nodding and giving various agreements, and the boys are all quiet – they obviously feel a sense of loyalty to Jimin and don’t want to talk bad about him. ‘I feel so pissed, but I also feel like I don’t have a right to be pissed,’ I say, and the girls all frown, disagreeing instantly. ‘You do have a right to be pissed. You should go throw your drink over his stupid head,’ Jennie says angrily, and I hold back a laugh.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ I sigh helplessly, perching on the arm of Seungmin’s armchair. ‘It’s a red flag, y/n. End things here – don’t let it go too far otherwise you’ll get too attached, your feelings will get deeper and stronger, and it’s just not worth it. Him and Rosie are always messing around and it’ll probably be like that for a long time – she’s a nice girl but she’s got Jimin wrapped around her finger and she knows it. If he tries to move on, she’ll stop it. It’s not worth you getting involved in that, because you shouldn’t have to compete with his ex,’ Irene says softly, everybody listening to her, and I know she’s exactly right; I might… maybe… kinda… sorta… like(?) Jimin now, but he’s not worth competing with another girl for. If there’s even a choice for him, I should walk away. I deserve someone who wants me and only me. ‘God, you’re right,’ I wail, throwing myself back against the armchair and lifting my hand to my face despairingly, a little laugh running around the room at my dramatics as Seungmin pats my arm comfortingly. ‘I know he’s our friend, y/n, but he’s also kinda a dick when it comes to girls, and we all know it. I mean, he was literally bragging to us yesterday about what happened between you guys,’ Minho says, and I feel my focus shifting entirely to his words when he says that, my entire body tensing. ‘What did he say?’ I ask calmly, though I can feel my anger slowly rising, along with the tension in the room. ‘Well… um,’ Minho begins hesitantly, before sighing, ‘we all went to ASP last night for KPN and ASP Pizza Friday, and we were speaking about going to watch you guys at the try-outs. JB mentioned that, as the new captain, you might get pissed if we showed up, and then the conversation turned to you and Jimin last week.’

I’m in total shock; he blatantly lied to me earlier, by telling me that he’d only told his closest friends. The thought that all those boys were sat together last night, talking about me, makes my stomach turn. ‘What did he tell you guys?’ I ask shakily, despite not actually wanting to know. ‘Um… everything,’ Minho says, and my heart drops. ‘Everything?’ ‘Yeah. Everything,’ Chan confirms, voice gentle, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. ‘Wow. Okay. So not only is he a dick, he blatantly lied,’ I say flatly, the room completely silent other than the low RnB beat pulsing from the speaker. ‘I’m gonna go. Sorry for, uh, killing the vibe,’ I say quietly, pushing myself up from the arm of Seungmin’s armchair and heading towards the door, multiple people in the room calling after me.

I quickly dart up the stairs, dodging past the couple making out on the landing and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Part of me is numb, in complete shock, and doesn’t know how to react. Another part of me is unbelievably hurt that he completely lied to my face, and that he asked me to leave so he could talk to his ex. Privately. Another part of me is totally humiliated that he told the boys everything, my pride completely ruined now. And the other part of me is annoyed at myself for being so hurt about a boy who, this time last week, I hated and would’ve rather fought than fucked.

‘y/n, it’s me,’ I hear Jennie’s voice from the other side of the door, and I unlock it to let her in. She pulls me into a hug, and I have to scrunch my eyes shut to stop myself from crying, pushing my head into her neck as she rubs my back comfortingly. ‘He’s so trash, babe. So trash. You deserve so much better,’ she says soothingly, and I try my best to fully believe her words, but it’s hard when I’m also trying to hold back my tears.

Before I can even speak to her, Jiwon’s head appears around the door, her eyes widening when she sees how upset I am. ‘y/n! Sorry for just walking in but are you okay?’ she asks, eyes big with concern, and my heart warms. ‘Ugh, yeah,’ I say, Jennie and I moving apart, and I tilt my head back, blinking furiously to get rid of my tears. ‘It’s just Jimin. He’s such a dick. I’m done with him,’ I say, the words coming out of my mouth before I even think of them, and I realise that, yes, I am done with him. I’m not wasting my time on him anymore.

‘Good. You deserve better. I mean, I knew he was a dick when he literally grabbed me on the way up to his room last week and dragged me along behind him. He made me think he was attracted to me, but he obviously just wanted to make you jealous,’ Jiwon says, and it makes me hate him even more. I didn’t even think about how hurt she must have been when she realised he was just using her. ‘God, he really is a dick,’ I spit, face twisted up in disgust, and Jiwon lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t see that sooner.’ ‘I knew all along. There was a reason I hated him so much – he’s always been a self-absorbed, egotistic, arrogant douche, but now… he’s even worse in my eyes.’

‘Shall we head back downstairs, get you a drink, dance? Or… shall we head home? We could have a little girls’ night – we’ve got a couple bottles of Echo Falls in the fridge, Clueless and Mean Girls on Netflix, and I have a few face masks. We could invite some of the other girls, too. And you could join us, Jiwon. We could get drunk, order pizza and talk about how much of a bastard Jimin is,’ Jennie says, the three of us laughing. She’s really sold the idea – it sounds like a lot of fun – but it’s late already. It’s better if I just head home and go to sleep. I actually feel exhausted after the events of today; it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, and I’m literally craving my bed right now. ‘That sounds fun, Jen, but maybe we could do that another night. I could do with just sleeping tonight,’ I say, and she nods, smiling gently.

‘Shall I order an Uber?’ ‘You stay,’ I say, and she frowns. ‘Why would I stay? You’re upset – I’ll come back with you.’ ‘No, honestly, I’ll be fine. You stay, enjoy the party. You haven’t even spent any time with Namjoon,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘I don’t care about spending time with Namjoon right now. You’re my priority. I’m coming home with you,’ she says firmly, pulling her phone out of her pocket, and I exchange an exasperated glance with Jiwon, the other girl incredibly amused.

As soon as Jennie’s ordered the Uber, we head downstairs to bid everyone goodbye. The second I step into the kitchen, Jin and Jungkook appear in front of me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. ‘Don’t say a word, because I swear to God, I won’t hesitate to kick you both in the balls,’ I threaten angrily, and their grins soon disappear. ‘Have you been crying, y/n? What’s the ma-?’ ‘Don’t say a word!’ I exclaim, pushing past them to say goodbye to Wendy, Lisa, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, the three of them giving me tight and comforting hugs – it seems that word’s already gotten around to the girls about Jimin and I. Then, in the living room, Nayeon, Seulgi, Mina, Jeongyeon, Jisoo, Momo, Joy and Sana all stop dancing the second I walk in, smothering me in hugs, and I know for sure that word has gotten around. And then, in the other living room, Jihyo, Irene, Yeri and Dahyun all give me big hugs too, and it really does make me feel better. Girls say it a lot, but it’s true – as long as you have your girls around you, you really don’t need a man. Any KNP or ASP boys that I walk past get the cold shoulder – they were all present when Jimin told them the dirty details and, despite some of them being my friends, close friends, not one of them thought to tell me. The only person that gets a goodbye from me is Minho; the rest of them can fuck themselves.

When I reach the front door, my hand shakes for a moment and I hesitate, Jennie putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I take a deep breath, rolling back my shoulders and raising my chin a little, injecting as much confidence into my body language as possible before I aggressively turn the handle, pulling the door towards me forcefully. They’re still sat on the front doorstep, Rosie where I was sat just half an hour ago, and they both jump when they hear the door open. And even though they react instantly, I still spot Jimin’s hand retracting from Rosie’s, leaving hers empty.

My eyes flit back up, in front of me, and I carefully walk through the gap between them, ignoring them both completely. ‘y/n? Are you leaving?’ I hear Jimin ask, but Jennie puts a hand on my back, the both of us continuing to walk up towards the road and away from him. ‘y/n! Wait!’ he calls after me, and then I hear his footsteps behind us, making my blood boil – can he not take the hint? ‘What, Jimin?’ I demand, whirling around to face him, and he hesitates in his steps. ‘y/n-’ ‘No, Jimin, don’t ‘y/n’ me. What the fuck do you want?’ ‘I… you’re angry at me,’ he says quietly, and I let out a harsh laugh. ‘Great observation, Jimin! What else will you come out with? The grass is green? Or the sky is blue, perhaps?’ ‘Okay, you don’t need to be so bitchy to m-’ ‘Bitchy?’ I practically scream, marching towards him, and he recoils away from me. Good. I’m glad he’s scared.

‘I think I’m well within my rights to be bitchy to you, you fucking bastard!’ I shriek, and he flinches, confusion all over his face. ‘What did I do, y/n? I… let me fix it,’ he says, and I let out another humourless laugh. ‘Fix it? You want to fix it?’ I ask hysterically, voice shaking, ‘You might’ve been able to fix the fact that you asked me to leave so you could have a private conversation with your ex, but that’s a very strong ‘might’, because I am not a choice, Jimin! You don’t get to mess me around! I’m number one, or I’m nothing to you at all!’ ‘Okay. Okay, I understand, and I’m sorry. I won’t do something like that again,’ he says earnestly, desperation in his eyes, but I can’t muster up any sympathy at all. Maybe I am a bitch, like he told me so many times last week.

‘No, you’re not going to do something like that again. Because you’re not going to have the chance, Jimin. We are done. That’s it,’ I say, and any hope that was in his eyes completely disappears, the light draining away. ‘What? Why? I thought you wanted… to give us a go,’ he says quietly, sounding… lost, and confused. It only makes me angrier – he’s not gonna get away with playing innocent today. ‘I did. Before I found out that you went and blabbed every single detail of last week to every fucking frat boy in ASP and KPN last night! Did you somehow forget about that, or did you purposely leave out that detail when I asked you earlier?’ I scream, body shaking with fury, and the second he registers my words, the colour disappears from his face, and he looks like he might throw up. He doesn’t say anything, and I give him the chance, but he doesn’t even bother to deny it, just stares at me in shock and the last shred of my hope that maybe Minho lied, that he exaggerated, or that maybe Jimin only told a couple of the guys disappears. ‘Yeah. That’s what I thought too. So forgive me for being such a bitch,’ I spit at him, and he opens his mouth to speak, no words coming out.

‘Go on. Say something. You’ve had plenty to say all night. So let’s hear it,’ I prompt sarcastically, and he just blinks before he whispers miserably; ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘Sorry? You’re sorry? Oh, well, that’s okay! Everything’s solved now, huh? That just makes everything fine!’ I shout, and his head drops, eyes on the ground. ‘Not only did you tell everyone, you lied about it! So how can I pursue something with you when you’re already lying to me? I can’t trust a word you say!’ ‘I… I’m not defending myself… but you lied to me too, y/n. You told me that you told Jennie, and ‘a couple of the other girls’. But we both know that was a lie,’ he says slowly, stuttering as he speaks, and I’m dumbfounded, in complete and utter shock.

‘You… you don’t understand. I told the girls, my closest friends. We tell each other everything. I’ve been there for them through everything, and they’ve been there for me through everything. You told two entire fraternities of immature and idiotic man children! You don’t think there’s a difference between the two? I bet they congratulated you, right? On getting the girl that hates you into bed? Asked what I was like? What my body looks like? Whether I had good head game, or good pussy? Saw me as just a slut, another conquest, another notch in your belt? Two entire fraternities objectified me last night, and you can’t even try to tell me otherwise, because I can guarantee that every girl in this damn university has had an experience to prove that you frat boys are disgusting. So you can fuck yourself, Jimin, and don’t ever compare me telling the girls to you telling those idiots again,’ I spit out angrily, and he’s completely silent, confirming everything I’ve just said. ‘I’m done with you. Don’t ever speak to me again,’ I hiss before turning on my heel and marching to where Jen stands outside the Uber, smiling at me softly.

‘That was amazing. I’m so proud of you,’ she says when I reach her, and I smile back as she opens the car door, letting me climb in first. I slide across the seat, Jennie following me in, and when she shuts the door behind her, I feel my heart pulse with hurt, eyes filling with tears. And as the driver pulls away from the house and I turn to look out of the rear window, being met with the sight of Jimin stood there, watching the car drive away, his eyes shining with tears, I can’t hold back my own, sobbing as if my heart would break.

[kyuus4ku]

Bestiiii roast my big 333 plss

And go wild ;))

BESTIE HIII <3 omgkgjfj i am SO excited to do yours hehe

hi let me praise/roast your birth chart

sagittarius sun

i'm not kidding when i say you're literally one of my FAVOURITES. sag sun are just so fucking fun and amazing to talk to, and fuck i could talk to you guys FOR HOURS not only bc yall are great listeners but because you're so... accommodating? like i wouldn't be afraid to say the weirdest shit with you guys because you're so chill AND SKFBSJGKSKD I JUST LOVE YOUR SASS AND HUMOUR SO FUCKING MUCH <3 witty as fuck, but i could say you're a little quick-tempered, which can make you a little blunt with your words? it's not that you do on purpose, but fire signs are usually on-the-go type, so you need to have an outlet somewhere maybe? it really depends on your patience, nevertheless you are extremely bright, and ik sags were and always are capable of making me see the bright side of things, even if they're not very motivated themselves. are you addicted to things you're familiar with because the idea of change kinda scares you? uncertainty and the lack of clarity could just send you into a spiral sometimes, right? you're not set in your ways, you just feel like sometimes there are so many paths to choose from, and choosing just one path seems so fucking overwhelming. i may be wrong tho! nevertheless, you guys are understanding, and even if you don't understand someone's state of mind (due to how curious you are, you will eventually), you won't judge them for it. I JUST LOVE SAG SUNS SMDNFNSNSM

cancer moon

emotional/sentimental. you have a heart of gold that people are just jealous of/don't understand. i'd only be pissed at you for letting the wrong people steal your heart, because not many people know how to take care of it properly yk? YES I WILL BE PISSED AT U *HOLDS U BY THE CHEEKS TO LOOK INTO YOUR EYES* I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU'RE ENOUGH NO MATTER WHAT. sadness isn't something you're unfamiliar with. in fact, you feel it deeply, which just adds on to how compassionate you are. you wouldn't want other people to go through what you have, so helping another person out is something which gives you a sense of validation. ofc you only help people you give a damn about, which may or may not backfire. but god i will never stop telling you to take care of yourself first. cancer moons can be stereotyped as fragile, but fragile isn't a bad thing. you put on a front because you've been taken advantage of before, so you know what it's like to be backstabbeb and betrayed. so having a screen of protection is good, but be sure to let a little people in— isolation is never good for those who deal with deep, intricate emotions. water moon and a fire sun..... are you torn between trying to understand yourself and trying to suck it up because you think emotions are a waste of time sometimes? the sags ik hate messy, but having a cancer moon must make it a lil more confusing? IDKKSDSJ

libra rising

AHHHHHH YOURE A LIBRA RISING SHNFDBFJSN i've always seen libras as like the balancing sign of the zodiac. you guys are so versatile and adaptable, and one of the chillest placements ever. like, you'd know exactly how to respond to my chaotic energy, and your sense of making sure everyone feels included just adds to your charm. INDECISIVE? AJHDNSSB you can come across carefree and easy-going, and i mean that in a good way! because of that people find it easy to be around you, though i have to say libra placements are quite mysterious. it's like you wanna get to know one, but they're so quick to jump from one place to another, depending on how much of a social butterfly they are. i could say you're as reserved like capricorns, but your personality is so complex, just like scorpios, who are pretty much secretive, too. i'm know this one libra rising, and as much as he has lots of walls to break down before you get to know him and actually understand why he thinks the way he does, it just gets so easy to talk to him without any filter. i could say the same about u! like i don't know you that well, but i feel like i am really myself when i get to interact with you. you're just effortlessly understanding and empathetic, and all that stems from how much youve gone through. yk how people with hearts of gold tend to carry a painful past? yeah! something like that. libra risings are not judgmental, and sosososo sweet, and honestly, they deserve the world. PLUS UR FLIRTATIOUS SWEETHEARTS <33

[too-gay-for-marvel]

a night to forget

a/n: this is a request that i was a piece of shit about because i couldnt stop coming up with new ideas for it and i am so sorry. it was gonna be a blurb and i was gonna crank it out but then it just kept getting longer and longer and like,,,,,,,,, now you get this tho right? 

Request:  Hey! Carol and Reader are best friends and both have feelings for each other but don’t know the other likes them back. and reader gets drunk and goes ‘you know, when I first saw u, I thought u reminded me of sunshine, bc ur hair’s golden and ur eyes are this gorgeous honey brown that shines in the sunlight and ur smile was the brightest thing I’d ever seen’ and carol gets really flustered and the next morning reader wakes up with a hangover and they confess their feelings? Thank you!

Word Count: 2615

Warnings: drinking

Pairing: Carol x Reader

Drunk you needed a filter. You needed a filter very badly.

Was this new information to you? Absolutely not. You had been drinking for far too many years and you knew how you got. Some times weren’t as bad as others, but you still knew. Did that mean you had learned to change your ways?

Oh hell no.

If you were smart - which you weren’t - you would have declined the invitation to celebrate. It wasn’t some huge event; no one was in the mood to deal with that many people. Only a small group would be there and none of you wanted to even talk to each other quite that much. There were too many things that none of you wanted to talk about.

But you had to do something to celebrate bringing everyone back, right?

So you all had agreed to relax in Stark Tower, and it was probably the most mundane thing you had all done in… well, a long time. You had all downed a shot for Tony, who was still recovering in medical. Another shot for Nat, who had refused to come and instead went with Wanda to Barton’s farm. A few more shots for some other people that probably didn’t deserve it, but who were you to question it.

And then that was it.

Everyone separated and went into their own little groups to forget about everything on their own terms. The super soldiers had gone to sit on the couch in silence. Rhodey and Sam were playing Thor and Valkyrie at pool and were wiping the floor with the Asgardians. Everyone else was just scattered around, no one really celebrating but just trying to pretend nothing had happened.

Which was exactly what you were trying to do as you sat at the bar.

You were no super soldier or Russian spy, but you knew how to throw it back. Should you? Of course not, but this was a party. What was the point of a party if you couldn’t get blackout drunk? The whole point of this was to forget the past five years, and that was exactly what you were going to do.

Your methods of getting drunk weren’t exactly… healthy. Every time you would see Carol flirting with Valkyrie, you would take a drink of your beer. If you heard Carol’s smooth-talk over the light music, you would down a shot. Was it smart? Definitely not. Was it efficient?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

You were about to take another drink when you heard Carol’s laugh, and you could only let out a sigh and drop your head to the bar. You wanted to be mad at her for flirting and laughing and having fun with someone that wasn’t you. Whether it was Valkyrie or Thor or Nat, it didn’t matter, you wanted to be mad.

But you couldn’t be mad because she didn’t know how it made you feel. She didn’t know that you could feel your stomach doing somersaults every time she smiled at you. She didn’t know your blood rushed deafeningly loud in your ears whenever she walked into the room. She never noticed the blush on your neck when she would hug you or grab your hand to drag you around.

If she didn’t know, then you couldn’t be mad, and your faux anger was replaced with yearning.

So the next time Carol called Valkyrie “baby,” you downed three shots. After all, the whole point of this party was to forget.

-----

Carol had noticed you at the bar. She had noticed the way had taken far too many shots. She had noticed the furrow of your brows. She had noticed the slump of your shoulders and the way you had defensively wrapped your arms around yourself.

It was clear that you weren’t okay; you two had been best friends for years, Carol knew when something was up. She told the group good night before making her way to you. As soon as she was close enough, she put her hand on your shoulder and almost instantly felt you relax underneath her.

“Hey,” you said softly, so softly that Carol felt her heart swell.

“Having a good time?” Carol asked with a gentle chuckle.

“I am now,” you answered as you turned your head to give her that dopey smile that she loved so much.

But she noticed the way your cheeks flushed and your pupils were dilated. You had had way too much to drink at this point, and she knew it. Why? She didn’t know, but she wasn’t going to question it because everyone else had been trying to blackout too.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Carol gently urged and in a surprise twist, you nodded in agreement.

She picked you up effortlessly, not even bothering to try to help you walk; she knew you couldn’t. No one really seemed to notice you two leave. Or maybe they just didn’t really care, too wrapped up in their own emotions to concern themselves with anyone else. Even though Carol wouldn’t say it out loud, she understood.

It didn’t take long to get you back to your room, but when she had laid you down on the bed she was faced with yet another task; getting you changed for bed. If she had realised that would be part of this problem, she would have had someone else take you home. But now you were giggling on your bed and she couldn’t back out now.

“Don’t get up,” Carol mock-demanded, pointing a finger in your direction to add to her point.

“Yes, captain,” you said seriously with a mock salute that soon dissolved into giggles.

Carol rolled her eyes and tried to hide her smile by turning around and getting you something comfy to wear. Getting something for you was second nature; you two weren’t best friends for nothing. But when she got back to you, your favourite pair of pyjamas in hand, she realised she would have to physically help you get changed.

Oh boy.

“Arms up,” Carol ordered, but she didn’t wait for you to help before she tried — and, quite frankly, failed — at getting your shirt off.

“Buy me dinner first,” you shot back. Well, you tried to. You ended up giggling again halfway through.

“Can you behave?” She teased.

“I can if you can.”

“Y/N-”

“-Wanna hear a secret?” You interrupted as you fell back onto the bed. Thankfully your new position made it easier for Carol to help you into your pyjama pants.

“What — hold still — what secret?”

“It’s about — that tickles! — about how I feel.”

“About what?”

“You.”

“Me?” Carol asked, her attention no longer on your legs and instead on what you were going to say. You weren’t looking at her, but at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes and a smile.

“When we met, you reminded me of sunshine,” you said softly, still looking at the ceiling.

“Why?” Carol asked just as softly. Her heart was beating so loudly that she was worried she wouldn’t hear what else you would have to say.

“Because,” you sighed, “your hair is golden.”

Carol crawled onto the bed and sat down beside you so she could see your face. Your eyes were still slightly unfocused but she could see them shine.

“And your eyes are a- a gorgeous honey brown that shines in the sunlight.”

The smile on your face grew a little bigger.

“And your smile was the- the- the brightest thing I’d ever seen.”

She waited for you to continue with bated breath, but you stayed silent. No, you just laid there with your eyes fully closed and a smile on your lips. It was only a few moments longer that Carol realised you had fallen asleep.

With your admiration for her on your lips.

Carol’s heart continued to beat so hard that she thought it would fly out of her chest. But she did her best to ignore it and finished putting you to bed. Only when you were settled did she rush out of your room and head to the gym. It was far too late, but she didn’t know what to do.

Her best friend had just said the sweetest words Carol thought she had ever heard.

And you wouldn’t even remember it in the morning.

-----

You were never going to drink again.

It was something you had told yourself over and over after every night of partying, but this time you meant it. As soon as you had come back to the land of the conscious, you felt like dying. A blinding headache, enough nausea to make you think you were sea sick, and you knew it would be a bad day.

You had no idea who had left the bottle of water on your nightstand, but you didn’t care. As soon as you grabbed the bottle you downed it, not even bothering to stop and breathe. It wasn’t going to get rid of the awful feeling, but it would help. Or so everyone said.

As much as you wanted to immediately go back to bed, you knew you still had to go to training. No one would have blamed you for not going because what threat could be worse than Thanos? But you had promised Carol you would train with her, and you were never one to break promises.

Well. Not to Carol.

With your whole body and mind protesting, you threw on your dirty gym clothes (which you really needed to wash) and trudged to the gym. Making your way through Stark Tower was like a blast to the past, but you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or not. Either way, the trek was instinctual and you made it down to the gym in time to see Carol already training.

“Early start?” You called out, making Carol react by shooting a photon blast. A squeak flew out of your mouth as you dropped to the floor only a moment before the blast had hit you.

“Shit,” Carol cried before she ran over to help you up. “Are you okay?”

“Peachy,” you groaned as you straightened back up. “You’re awful jumpy this morning.”

“Long night,” she sighed, and you noticed she let go of you almost as quickly as she had helped you. And just like that, you knew something was wrong.

“You alright?” You called out as you followed Carol to the weights.

“Peachy,” she replied a little too quickly, mimicking your earlier response.

“You sure?” You asked again, but Carol ignored you and instead started benching. Which you were completely entranced by until you noticed that she was working just a little too hard for her. Almost angrily? Could someone angrily bench?

It would be hard to explain to someone that hadn’t been there. There was just… an added tension that made itself present under her skin. That was a weird way to say it, but you had seen people angry and knew the signs. Carol was pushing the weights up just a bit too intensely. Your thoughts were confirmed when she pushed up and the bar and weights went flying across the room. The noise was loud enough to irritate your hangover headache yet again.

She sighed and brought her hands up to cover her face. It was an act you hadn’t seen from her in a long time. One that only reared its ugly head when she was stressed or worried. So it wasn’t anger, then, it was something else. Something she didn’t know how to handle.

But you did.

While her face was still covered, you moved back over to stand beside the bench and look down at her. She pulled one hand down just enough to peek at you. Apparently you weren’t what she wanted to see, and she covered her face again right as she let out a sigh that you had a feeling she had intended to keep quiet.

“What’s wrong.” It wasn’t a question, not anymore.

“Nothing,” Carol grumbled before moving to sit up.

But you knew that if she sat up and walked away, you would never figure out what was bothering her. Before she could swing her leg over and stand up, you practically pounced on her lap, straddling her and putting your hands on her chest to push her back down.

“Y/N-”

“-What’s wrong,” you demanded this time. She opened her mouth to argue, but all it took was one raise of your brow for her to lose any fight she had left.

“You said some… things last night,” she mumbled.

“Things?” You asked as you sat up taller, keeping your eyes on her. “What things?”

“Just… things.”

“How am I even supposed to know what that means?”

“You admitted things.”

“Carol-”

“-You said I reminded you of the sun,” she finally blurted out, throwing her hands out to the side for emphasis.

“I-.” You didn’t know what to say.

For lack of a better term, your brain short circuited. Had you really told her that? Why would you tell her that? It was supposed to be a secret, not even your friends knew! Well obviously your friends didn’t know, Carol was one of those friends. Why would you tell her that, why would you be so incredibly stupid-

“-Did you mean it?”

You looked back down, brought out of your thoughts by Carol’s surprisingly small voice. There was a vulnerability on her face that you knew was reflected on your own. But what could you say? If you told her no, would she be upset? Would she be hurt that you had drunkenly said something that you hadn’t meant?

Or on the other hand, what if you said yes? What if she found out the truth, found out how you really felt and she didn’t feel the same way? Of course you wouldn’t hold any resentment or anything like that, but would she still want to be your friend? Or would she think it was weird and want to distance herself?

What if either answer meant you would lose her?

“I dont-,” what could you say? What could you say?

“Did you?” She asked again. You didn’t like vulnerable Carol, you decided. Not like this.

But you would be damned if it didn’t send a message, loud and clear.

“Yeah,” you said so quietly that you could see Carol struggling to understand your admission. “Yeah, I meant it.”

There was a moment that seemed to stretch on forever. One that left you with an aching chest and a familiar stinging sensation behind your eyes. In that moment you saw everything fall apart. You saw Carol’s rejection, saw the pity in her eyes, saw her leaving and not coming back. It had all been a mistake, and you should have kept your heart to yourself.

But in the next moment, Carol sat up so quickly that you almost fell off her lap. One of her arms wrapped around your waist with the speed only Carol possessed while her other hand went to the back of your neck, and she pulled you into a messy kiss. One that was clashing teeth and rushed movements, as if everything would fall apart if you both slowed down.

And it was perfect.

“Does this mean you like me back?” You asked when Carol pulled away and rested her forehead against yours.

“You’re an idiot,” she chuckled, and you could feel her breath hit your face in the best way.

“I’m not the one who didn’t know her best friend had the hots for her,” you shot back.

“Just kiss me,” she sighed.

You didn’t need to be told twice.

[swynlake-spill]

Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.

ok i’ll try here we go 

@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR 

@rikuxnakayama sir  i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST 

@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT 

@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR

@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js 

@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy 

@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it 

@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile 

@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go  🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words... 

@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :) 

@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed 

@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously! 

@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!! 

@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen

@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying. 

@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free. 

@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram

@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park! 

@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh

@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!! 

@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously! 

@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it! 

@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know. 

@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!! 

@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell. 

@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please) 

@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram! 

@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!

[monsieur-hadrien]

Harry Potter Fanfic Recommendations continued...

I did one of these lists back in June, and y’all KNOW! that I have even more to share with the world.

This list is a mix between crossovers and single-fandom fics, and are drarry or rarepair-centric, but either way I’ll mark which are which when I get to it.

If you want to see what I’ve been enjoying lately, check out my bookmarks on the Archive

Man of Iron, Child of Magic by zathara001

Harry Potter and MCU, no slash, 107k word count, 32 chapters, completed, teen

In the aftermath of the Chitauri invasion, Tony Stark sorts out his priorities - including one he didn't think he had.

Okay I followed this one from the beginning as a WIP because this is exactly the fic that I was looking for. Tony being Irondad for Harry is the most wholesome thing ever, and Uncle Steve is also 20/10. I will say, this fic is not as dark as a lot of this hp/mcu fics of this trope because it happens in Harry’s younger Hogwarts years and his childhood isn’t too ruined just yet. It focuses a lot on Tony’s growth as a father rather than working through Harry’s trauma (which, don’t get me wrong, that happens as well). Harry still has the naive outlook on life that a child should have and it just makes my heart swell.

Although this fic is done, the sequel has not been uploaded yet, as this fic was just completed late August, but don’t let that deter you. The author is a sweetheart to interact with on new updates (which were quite frequent).

Golden Boy’s Dance by Madriddler

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, 57k word count, 13 chapters, completed, explicit

Two years after the defeat of Voldemort and Harry is feeling useless. Jobless and suffering from PTSD, Harry spent his days going from horrible interview to horrible interview hopelessly looking for a job. Feeling completely useless, Harry, with the help of George, turns to a new profession that Harry never even thought of : being a camboy. Pleasuring himself for money and people's entertainment, Harry hopes to find a use for the Savior of the Wizarding World in this Peaceful Era.

Yeah so uh,,, this is a total guilty pleasure kink fic and I’m not at all ashamed for putting this fic on here. I won’t even lie, sometimes it felt a bit cheesey, but the porn was so well written it didn’t even matter. I swear to you this is porn with plot and lots of it. Harry works through his post traumatic stress disorder in ways that may or may not be slightly unhealthy, but beyond the porn, it’s really about Harry being okay in his own skin, as someone with mental health issues and as a sex worker. It was a hell of a good time to read and I definitely cried for Harry a time or two.

A Dented Old Street Sign by orphanghost

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, 27k word count, one-shot, completed, mature

Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.

At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.

I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a fic in a long time. The golden trio and the Slytherin gang live in the same neighborhood while attending their 8th year at Hogwarts and i swear to fucking god, the amount of mutual pining and angst between Harry and Draco is fucking ridiculous, but you can’t help but love them anyway. Sometimes I wanted to throttle them and then shove them into a closet together so they would just t a l k but like in a good way. also the Christmastime atmosphere is something I just live for.

Words Unread, Things Unsaid by PinkCrupps

Harry Potter, no slash Harry & Snape, 18k word count, 7 chapters, completed, teen

What if the Dursley’s were a little crueler, and a little smarter? What if they didn’t want Harry going to school because they didn’t want anyone to see the bruises?

What if Harry had to leave for Hogwarts, carrying a shameful secret? One that Severus Snape is determined to discover.

When I say this one hurt, I mean it h u r t. I feel so bad because when I first read the tags I laughed when I saw the illiterate tag because I make the “I can’t read” jokes often but then I read the fic and i felt SO BAD OMG.

I am no fan of Snape, let it be known, but this fic, I think made me feel like he actually deserved a bit of a redemption arc (even if it’s fanon). This whole time, all I could think of is giving harry a big hug and never letting him go.

I said this in the notes of my bookmark, and I stand by it: “

I feel like the hurt/comfort tag on this one is also meant for the reader”

What Happens to the Heart by Mossycoat

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 33k word count, 18 chapters, completed, mature

With no girlfriend, no job, and no idea what he wants, Harry has decided to let life go on without him. If only prophetic dreams, demanding ghosts, and Draco Malfoy would let him.

If you need a pick-me-up after the sadness for the prior fic, may i recommend this one. Seer!Harry is a headcanon that I had never seen before this fic, and I was not let down whatsoever. We love a fic where the OCs are wonderful and the writing style is immaculate. The incorporation of tarot and divination into the chapter names and plot also makes my babywitch heart s i n g!!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Relevant_Peach

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 70k word count, 15 chapters, completed, no rating specified, but probably teen/ mature for mental health tingz

Draco Malfoy would do anything to find a cure for his son's life-threatening disease. When he crosses paths with an old acquaintance, it unleashes a string of events that will uncover secrets and deceptions. Will Draco be able to look past the misdeeds of his old lover's past? Will Harry ever find the family he longs for?

Ah yes, who knew that pain could feel so good. Everything seems to be fine until it isn’t with this one.

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 306k word count, 14  chapters, completed, explicit

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

oh my goD yes a classic we love to see it. This is one of those fics that is long but doesn’t reallly feel like it is? This is definitely another feel-good fic, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the beginning. Not only does it focus on Harry and Draco’s relationship, but also their relationships with their family, specifically their children. It’s just really heartwarming whenever Harry get’s all fatherly with his kids. ugh I swear I don’t want any but this is just SO ADORABLE! Plus Blaise Zabini rights thank you very much.

Also Boris can suck my left toe.

There’s a Pureblood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 105k word count, 36 chapters, completed, mature

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

This is another fluffier one, and I have absolutely no shame. Draco is just trying so hard to get through Harry’s thick, clueless skull and Harry is just trying to understand. They’re just so adorable I can’t. And Harry defending Draco’s and his relationship after people are like fuck naw just warms my heart. Like yes Harry, protect ur mans you adorable himbo you.

Our Own Demons by Emmalie22

Harry Potter, MCU, Harry Potter & Tony Stark, Harry Potter/Peter Parker, 119k word count, 24 chapters, WIP, teen/mature

Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Philanthropist. Ironman. (Reckless. Lonely. Father.)

Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. Wizard. (The Master of Death. Survivor. Breaking.)

Tony Stark never thought he would be a father. But when a lawyer comes knocking and truths become evident, he realizes that he can’t let his son walk out of his life. For Harry, acknowledging his relationship with Tony is a last-ditch effort to gain freedom and control over his life. Although the journey might not be easy, Tony and Harry learn to heal and become a family, facing trials and tribulations on the way such as a scheming Death, a Mad Titian, Dark Wizards, dangerous Doctors, and living Wards.

I’m so sorry to give you a WIP that hasn’t been updated in 10 months, but I couldn’t let this one slide. I’m so attached to these characters it’s unhealthy. I’m not gonna lie, this fic was the product of a very hyperspecific filtered search on AO3 but I’m not even mad at it. Tony is Harry’s father but unlike the other fic on this rec list, Harry is a bit more grown up and bears a lot of the scars of 5th year (y’all don’t need me to specify with that one). It’s a lovely family dynamic and super fluffy Peter and Harry wow we love to see it. Harry is also super fucking smart AS HE IS! I will never get over people calling him stupid ugh Harry rights. But yes, author friend, if you see this, update when you can I’m so in love with this.

If anybody wants me to do more specific lists, I will totally do so. Just reblog or private message me. And if you have any other fic recs, please do so too because I’m always looking for something else to read.

[yourultraarchive]

Using Jisho to Translate Verbs, Adjectives, and Nouns for Names

So, there was definitely a lot going on in my “Creating a Name” guide, and after a couple of asks and private messages on creating names I realized that this part deserves its own more digestible post.

In one of the asks I got, I mentioned that this section of the names guide might have gotten lost in all the background context hubbub (it’s found in the first subsection in the “Types of Names” section; the following quote is edited for brevity):

A common thing I see in people naming OCs after verbs to give them that “name that matches the quirk” quality is that they [...] just use that verb as a name, with the verb ending and all [...]. Most verbs have a hiragana character at the end which changes depending on how the word is conjugated, but for a name it’s easy to just cut that part off and just use the singular kanji. When doing that, make sure to find an alternate reading or a name reading for the kanji by itself [...].

For people who don’t know how to read Japanese, this might be confusing or hard to do. So, the following is a step by step guide on how to use Jisho.org to properly translate an English word into a name worthy of an MHA character. (Unfortunately, this post does not account for punny names, just how to use jisho to make names. See the names guide for more on punny names, though.)

Disclaimer: This is just a guide for how to use jisho in the context of creating a name as referenced on this blog/in the names guide. This is not the recommended use of jisho, nor how you would normally create names for characters in other media/fandoms... though you can if you want to.

Note: I will not be defining words like kana or hiragana in this post. Please see the names guide or google for more info!

1. Translate your word. (And also, understand how Jisho works.)

If you have a lot of ideas, translate many words. Anything related to the character’s quirk or personality, whatever works.

Using the example from the names guide, here’s what jisho looks like when you look up “dragon”:

The anatomy of the above image is as follows:

Orange: the English word you’re looking up

Blue: the Japanese word relating to the English word you’re looking up (the image only shows one entry, but there will be multiple on the actual jisho site), with “furigana” above the kanji to show you how to read/say it

Keep in mind that this word may not actually mean what you think it means, hence the next bullet point of “green”...

Green: the definition of the Japanese word (blue), which usually has the English word you looked up (orange) somewhere in there, to give you a precise idea of what the word actually means, and may even give you multiple definitions if the word has more than one meaning

Note the small grey word at the top that says “Noun”! This tells you what kind of word the entry (blue) is, and this is going to be especially important when I get to talking about verbs and adjectives...

Red: the kanji which include the word you looked up (orange) in its translation, but keep in mind that kanji themselves have multiple definitions and may not just mean the one thing you were looking for

This section might actually be the most useful to you in making names, since you won’t get caught up in all the multiple definitions of actual words, but sometimes actual words are useful, so using just the kanji list to create a name is another starting point to go from rather than using the definitions/actual words as a starting point

Check the “More Kanji >” link toward the bottom of this list if you’d rather use a kanji as a starting point for your name rather than a word (for future reference, you can also skip directly to this list by looking up your word with the “#kanji” filter: “YourWordHere #kanji”)

Check the “Details >” link in the lower right corner of the box to see more info about the kanji, its readings (kunyomi, onyomi, and nanori/name readings), and some other words that may include this kanji somewhere in its beginning, middle, or end

Now, after you translate your word, there’s a couple ways this can go:

You probably started with a noun so you have your kanji to create a name with. Skip to STEP 3!

You decided to use the kanji list at the sidebar rather than using a word. Skip to STEP 3!

Your word was an adjective or verb, so there might be more work to do. Proceed to STEP 2!

2. Cut off the kana, extract the kanji.

So, say the word you looked up wasn’t as simple as a noun. There’s probably extra kana tacked on, which isn’t really the norm in a name. So you need to cut those off.

For quick reference like in my proverb names post, these are kana!

For an adjective that’s also a noun like “白 shiro” (white), there’s no extra kana, so you’re good. But some adjectives like “楽しい tanoshii” (fun/enjoyable) and “可愛い kawaii” (cute) have kana at the end, and the same goes for verbs like  “寝る neru” (to sleep), “泳ぐ oyogu” (to swim), and “死ぬ shinu” (to die). The occasional noun will have a kana too, like “眠り nemuri” (sleep), but the same rules apply--cut off the kana!

Extra information, feel free to skip this section:

Japanese usually have two types of adjectives, “i-adjectives” and “na-adjectives”, which you’ll see in the definitions section (green from before) in jisho. The “i-adjectives” are the ones that usually have extra kana.

There’s a sort of third type of adjective, “no-adjectives”, which are basically nouns that can be adjectives too. You don’t have to worry about any extra kana showing up with these, for the most part.

There are three types of verbs, “ru-verbs”, “u-verbs”, and “irregular verbs”, but jisho calls them different things like “Godan verbs”. There are other classifications like “Transitive” or “Intransitive” and other such things listed in jisho, but you don’t have to worry about them (they’re mostly for understanding usage/grammar, which isn’t what we’re focusing on here). In regards to the “ru” and “u” verbs, verbs are categorized by how they’re conjugated. In Japanese, the ending kana changes for tense, negative, potential, etc. which is why the kana is at the end of the kanji rather than part of the kanji itself.

Now once you have just the kanji, we can proceed with creating a name as outlined in the names guide. I’m gonna illustrate what the steps look like so you have a better idea what to do!

3. For a simple name, look up the kanji with the “#names” filter.

After you’ve got your kanji, copy it into the search bar and either type “#names” after it or manually click the filter button (green in the below image) and select the “Names” option (blue in the below image).

That will give you a whole list of names, with romaji included so you know how to read the kanji. It will also tell you whether it’s a male or female given name, a family name/surname, an unspecified name (usually for unisex given names, but sometimes those kinds of names also work as surnames), or the name of a place or known public figure (the latter-most two options you should ignore--naming a character after a place is unconventional, and you really probably shouldn’t be naming characters after real life people).

To narrow down your search so you don’t have to look through all the categories you don’t need, you can use these advanced search options by typing in these tags after adding the “#names” filter:

“#surname” for surnames

“#given” for given names, unisex or first names of any gender

“#fem” for feminine/female names

“#masc” for masculine/male names

“#unclass” for unclassified names (these can be any of the above)

So if you’re looking for names for a boy with a dragon quirk, for example, you could search “竜 #names #masc” or “竜 #names #given” or “竜 #names #unclass”.

EXTRA OPTION: Homophonous Names

In the “How to Create a Name for your OC” section of the names guide, one of the tips about creating a “name that sounds like another word” name is to take the pronunciation of the name that includes the kanji you want and using a name spelled with different kanji instead. It’s really easy to use the “#names” filter on jisho to do this!

Once you find a name you like, simply take the romaji spelling (green below), put it into the search bar (red below), and add the “#names” filter. This will show you a whole list of names that sound the same but are spelled differently (blue below)! You can pick the spelling you like, but be sure to check what it actually means with STEP 4!

Anyway, this step is pretty simple, but for a name that’s more than one kanji long, proceed to STEP 4. Otherwise, see more options in STEP 5.

4. Translate the name back to see the meanings of the other kanji in the name.

So say you found a name with more than one kanji that you like, including the one you were looking up in the first place. Great, now to see what the full name actually means!

Copy the kanji in the brackets of that name (green below--note that you shouldn’t be copying the kana directly to the left of it!) and put it back into the search bar (replace the text in the red below).

After that, either type “#kanji” directly after the name or manually click the filter button (green below) and select the “Kanji” option (blue below).

You’ll be taken to a page with lots of large text and technical info on it, but the most important bit is the definition of the kanji (green below). The image only shows the first kanji of the name, but if you scroll down you’ll see the others (one example in red below).

If that’s what you want your name to mean, great, you have a name! Otherwise, you can go back to the other steps and start over, until you find a name you like.

Proceed to STEP 5 if you want to manipulate the name some more to give it some uniqueness or possibly make a pun out of it.

5. Make a name out of a combination of kanji of your choice, or find alternate kanji readings.

So you have a kanji you like, but the options in the list of names in the “#names” filter don’t really fit your character: ie. you have a dragon quirk user but you don’t want to name them just “竜一 Ryuuichi” (one/first dragon) or “竜鼻 Tatsuhana” (dragon snout) or something.

One of the things you can do is just put together 2-3 kanji that don’t actually make a “real name” and come up with your own reading for them. For instance, “竜夜 Tatsuya” (dragon night) may be homophonous with a “real name”, but the spelling is unusual and if you look it up on jisho with the “#names” filter, nothing will come up.

It’s possible to make up names like the above example by combining the the different readings of the kanji. For example the 夜 can be read “yo”, “yoru”, or “ya”. To find the readings of a kanji, you can either look in the kanji list when you’re looking up a word, or you can check out the specific kanji details to find the kunyomi, onyomi, and nanori. (All the different areas to find kanji readings are in red in the images below. Nanori is called the “Japanese names” reading in the last image, but be aware that not every kanji will have nanori available.)

(The names guide outlines this a little too, as well as list other ways to find kunyomi, onyomi, nanori, etc. and their romaji readings, but I will not be getting into that here since I’m only focusing on jisho in this post.)

Of course you have to know how to read a little kana to figure out how to pronounce the kanji and its readings, but you can either reference the kana sheet above, google or wiki, or use google translate. The image below is going to be the only non-jisho image here I promise, but this part is important for people who don’t know how to read kana so I’m including it. (Be careful not to use the actual translation, in red below. The green and blue are the kunyomi and onyomi respectively, just to show you where in the romaji reading they are, as google translate doesn’t use line breaks in it. You can see why it’s not a good idea to use the red area since it tried to translate “rou” as an actual English word “low”--this also illustrates the importance of kanji, since all of those readings technically mean “dragon”!)

Once you have your kanji readings, you can combine them however you think sounds best. For example, 竜夜 (dragon night) can be any of these given or family names (this is not a complete list, and not all of them are necessarily homophonous with real names):

Tatsuyo

Iseya

Iseyoru

Ryuuya

Ryuuyo

Ryouya

Rouya

Rouyoru

Riuya

Riuyo

Riuyoru

You can also do this to names that aren’t made-up mashed-together kanji. For instance, take the real name “竜ケ江 Tatsugae”. With alternate readings, you can use “Isekemi” as a surname and still spell it the same as the traditional “Tatsugae”. This is useful to make a name look normal but change the pronunciation to be appropriate for a pun (my example is not a pun, however--I was just demonstrating how to do it). An example of this is Mina Ashido’s name, as the surname “芦戸” is normally pronounced “Ashito”.

Alternate readings are usually how puns are made, but I won’t get into that here. Check the names guide for more in-depth stuff on that, but the info from STEP 5 is particularly useful for the “name that matches the quirk” subsection of the “How to Create a Name for your OC” section.

Congrats, you made it to the end!

Welp, that’s all you need to know about using jisho to make a name! Please check out the “Creating a Name for your MHA Character” guide that this post was made to supplement. This post was just “how to use jisho”, the names guide will really get into the meat of how to create a name befitting of an MHA character.

If anything about this post was unclear or confusing, let me know and I’ll try to clarify. Hope this helps you name your character!

Go beyond and PLUS ULTRA!

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Five

~sweeter shifts~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, jisung/minho

warning: mild language

words: 2k ish

summary: That feeling you get when your friend visits you at work? yeah that. Thats all this is...

a/n: Its been a little rough, but heres a short chapter i hope u enjoy <3

 -----------

Felix stood behind the counter at the convenience store on the corner of two intersecting districts. He was a few hours into his overnight shift. Usually he could do homework on these late nights, but with it being summer, he found himself antsy and daydreaming his shift away. His brain was busy re-running his dance routines for upcoming performances and auditions that he had been working on, as customers periodically filtered in the store. 

Not many customers came in other than the few students pulling all-nighters and night shift workers coming in for a bite to eat. Felix had begun to recognize a few faces as some had solidified themselves as regulars. 

A black hooded figure came in close to 3am. Even though Felix had never really seen much of the guy's face he recognized the black hoodie and mask wearing guy as a regular around his late night shifts. He was interesting, not like the obvious tired student of the late night business worker. He had no idea what it was that brought him to the convenience store at the ungodly hours of the morning.

Felix always liked to make guesses as to what lives his especially mysterious customers lived. He had already imagined the black hoodied regular as a b-list idol group member. Then a gym instructor, but mostly due to the one time he came in with a cut off shirt and Felix was taken aback by the size of the man’s arms. Most recently he imagined that the other could’ve been a bartender, because of the pretty consistent time he arrives in the late am on weekends. 

This random Thursday night though, the dark figure, back in his usual hoodie, gathered various energy drinks and cup ramens from the back shelves, and brought them out to the check out. 

“Is this all for tonight?”

“Oh yeah thats all” 

Felix began ringing up his purchases when the other spoke up suddenly.

“We’ve met before, I’m not crazy or anything right?”

“Huh?” Felix looked up confused as the man usually seldom said anything during his late night purchases.

“Yeah I thought I recognized your name, You’re Minho”s, Jisung’s friend’s, roommate, right?” Felix nodded in return but the confused look on his face sparked the other to remember that he was wearing a mask and hat that covered most of his features. Removing the mask revealed that behind it were the sharp features of Changbin, one of three artists that formed 3RACHA, that Yes, Felix had actually just met that past weekend.

Felix’s eyes widened at the sudden realization that one of his regulars was actually a member of his favorite group of artists. ‘Holy fucking shit, I am actually blind, godamn it Felix’

“Y-Yes, thats me. Sorry I didn't recognize you, I-uh didn’t realize that you, were uh- you.” ‘Smooth Lix wow’

Changbin chuckled at the freckled boys stutter. “That’s alright, I tend to forget that I'm wearing my mask sometimes. Anyway I recognized you when you were dancing last weekend, and when you had introduced yourself.” Felix was trying his best to internalize his anxious starstruck feelings. “We watched your performance, and I was trying to find a day to come here and tell you that your crew’s performance was really good.” 

Okay yeah that was it, Felix’s eyes were practically falling out of his head with how wide his expression was. “Really? You liked it? That’s really awesome. Thank you so much. That really means a lot coming from you not gonna lie.” Felix’s pride for his crew was nothing small and the validation and praise from someone he is a fan of himself, makes his heart soar. 

The smile on his face is so wide and genuine and the light that flickers in his eyes lit up the whole store, even in the middle of the night. Changbin thought that his smile felt something like sunshine, and reminded him of the warmth Jisung emitted when he was at his happiest, but of course he would never tell the other that. Changbin caught himself smiling back involuntarily. 

“Yeah, we’ll have to come watch you guys again sometime.” 

Felix nodded vigorously at that and finished checking out the items the older had brought to the counter. Neither of the twos smiles seemed to completely fade from their faces. 

“Thank you Felix-ssi, have a good night.” 

“You too!” Felix replied and bowed respectively to the older. 

Changbin replaced the mask on his face but found himself still smiling at the encounter with the boy as he walked bac home. 

[~roomies uwu~]

3:25 am

Lixie:

someone please fuking tell me how stupid i am 

Minnie hyung:

we usually dont, to spare your feelings 

Lixie:

I just embarrassed myself in front of CHangbin-ssi!!!

ALSO since when did 3RACHA live in this neighborhood

Hes been coming into the store for months 

But i never recognized him until now???

I must be idiotic

Someone change my name to ‘blind fool’ 

It is now the only title i deserve ;^;

Jinnie bby:

It is way to early for you to be this dramatic luv~

Lixie:

The overnight shift drama sleeps for no one >:}

---

“Alright, I’ll put that right in for you. I hope you enjoy your cocktails in the mean time.” Minho flashes his sickening sweet server smile at the couple, before heading to his station to input the orders. There had been a steady flow of customers at Menu 98 keeping Minho busy for his dinner shift. Thankful to not be closing, Minho was doing his best to maintain his polite persona without glancing at his watch too often. Time always passed slower, when he found himself counting his hours. 

Before moving on to check on a previous table, Seungmin waves him down letting him know he has a new table to wait, but not before catching his arm. Usually he would find a Seungmin attached to his elbow if the other wanted to share some gossip about a recent customer, or something of the sort. Expecting the same Minho’s ears peaked with interest. 

“You got a new table.” That’s unsurprising. “And they’re asking specifically for you.” That’s more surprising.

“Wait, what?”

“I don't know, you tell me. Any rich, wide-eyed, twenty-somethings, you forgot to tell me about, hyung?” 

Minho thought the eyebrow raise from the younger was a little much given the circumstances. The few seconds of silence that pass between them gave Seungmin all the information he was looking for but a sigh still escapes his lips at the stubbornness of the other. 

“Well one, Han Jisung, is waiting in section B for you.” Seungmin scurries off to return to the front, a suspicious look in his expression. Minho hadn’t really brought up much of his personal life to Seungmin, but the host hadn’t stopped his prodding ever since he had turned up to work, as Seungmin says it, glowing and smiling like a newlywed. Minho wasn’t sure if he was actually acting much different since beginning to talk to Jisung, but apparently the shift in his mood was enough to confirm to his coworker that something was up. Minho already knew that Seungmin would have a field day if he found out that he had actually first met Jisung at the restaurant and hadn’t told him. But keeping his work friend on his toes, spices up his otherwise monotonous job. 

---

“Good evening sir, would you like to order any appetizers or drinks to start off?” Minho found himself instinctually throwing on his polite grin and playing the part of a perfect waiter. Well, at least for the time being. 

“Hm idk Min-hyung, you ordered for me last time, got any suggestions.” Jisung, seemingly unphased by Minho’s generic opening line, barely looked up from the menu as the older had approached him. Being sure to make direct eye contact, Jisung then smiled cheekily, “but I think we both know I didn’t come here for the fancy food and fruity drinks.”

Minho tried not to roll his eyes too obviously, as his smile morphed into a smirk to match the younger’s, “Perhaps, but if you don't order anything, I'll have to ask you to leave, because sadly, you can not pay just to look at my pretty face.”  

“That's a shame I would've ordered five hours of that up front if it was on the menu.” The chuckle coming from Minho was enough to already ease the nerves that Jisung had been feeling since he last saw him. 

“Well, Lucky for me, sad for you, I’m not working for five more hours, sorry to disappoint.” 

“When do you get off then kind sir?” The goofy voice he used brought back the smile he had been aching to see, and made any of the embarrassment he may have felt worth it. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would yes.” JIsung smiled, batting his eyelashes, a part of him knew it probably wouldn’t be that easy. 

“Well not to worry, it looks like I can start you off with some water, and complimentary sides, while I give you some more time to look over the menu.”

“Hyung wai-” Minho walked off but not before sending a subtle wink the other’s way. Jisung ears may or may not have turned bright red, but thankfully, there was no one there to tease this time.

---

Jisung ended up ordering another one of Minho’s suggestions, this time it was a marinated sea bass filet that came with a similar fried potato side to the burger he had chosen the first time. Although the fish was perfectly cooked and seasoned, to Jisung it still felt like a fancy version of fish and chips. Minho had giggled at that when Jisung suggested they rename it some bass-related pun, ‘for the kids, ya know.’

“So are you going to tell me how what time you get off, or are really gonna let my dumb ass sit outside the restaurant and wait for how many hours it is until you’re done”

Minho laughed at the image of Jisung waiting for him like a stray outside. “Tempting I'm not gonna lie, but It's not for much longer. AND if you're interested there's a bar next door that may or may not be my usual after dinner shift destination.” 

Jisung couldn’t help but smile at that. “REally? That sounds great.” He couldn’t lie that he had spent most of his free time thinking about when he could see MInho next. Probably not the best timing granted that 3RACHA has been busy preparing for their album debut, but a part of him couldn't help but feel all warm inside at the prospect of getting to know Minho better in person.

“Okay, well then i'll see you there? Yeah?”

Minho nods gently with his own giddy smile to match.

The infamous heart-shaped grin was in its full form once Minho had suggested their next meeting place, and Minho could feel his heart leaping at that happiness that Jisung’s smile emitted. Jisung about leaped out of his chair after paying. Practically dancing his way next door to said bar, and for the first time that week Jisung felt like a song was writing itself in his head.

---

“It's him isn't it”

“Who?”

“The reason that your smiling so much, but like actually, not that dead inside expression you give me when I tell you ‘cheer up’”

“Hmmm” Minho’s ability to play dumb? Top tier. Sadly Minho’s ability to lie to Seungmin? Absolute trash.

“Come on Hyung! Just tell me!!!” Seungmin was exasperated. This wasn’t the first time he had confronted Minho about what was going on, and maybe one too many times had resulted in Minho’s signature move, the ‘I don’t want to tell you, so instead will change the subject’.

Fine. “HMM hmmmmmmm….ok….maybe we’ve been talking for a while-”

“OH MY GOD FINALLY! I knew it as soon as he walked in the door. He was all heart-eyes asking for you, and for when you get off.”

“Wait, did you tell him when my shift was over?” 

“God no, that's gotta be against some employee code.”

“Oh okay good.”

“But you're off now anyways right? Is he going to wait for you? Are you going out- oh my god he's definitely waiting for you. Have you seen how much he tipped? You sure he isn't some bizarre 20 year old sugar daddy?”

“Seungmin!”

“Okay Sorry, I'm just excited for you. You never tell me anything. All I know about you is that you’re a dancer and you worked in a bar before here.”

“Its was a host bar actually”

“Wait what?!” 

“Well, if you look at the time. As you’ve said I have a sugar daddy waiting for me, bye bye now” 

“Wait hyung what the fuck!” 

---

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[phoebehalliwell]

Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

[gayforthe13th]

Can u pls add more verse for that villain!reader? Where maybe the master found out about u n able to trick his way into the tardis for the sole purpose to free u n ask u to join him to make 13th miserable. But whether u join him or prefer to work on ur own is up to u. Or if u have any other idea for that villain!reader fic, that would be great. Thanks in advance

I am so sorry this took so long!

warning: Mild Violence and angst but there’s fluff at the end!

part 1 here!

   Your days in the vault had gotten increasingly boring since your last confrontation with the Doctor. Her companions didn’t visit anymore, apparently, they must have learned their lesson. The Doctor hadn’t visited in a while and you’re starting to get increasingly frustrated. Every attempt to escape the vault was met with failure, the failure slowly increased your frustration until you were left sitting in a giant heap of metal parts with the Doctor berating you in at the front of the room, her arms crossed over her chest as you avoided her gaze. “Are you ever going to stop this?” she asks, watching as you flick a piece of scrap away from your feet. 

  “Are you ever going to let me go?” you growl, eyes flicking up to the Doctor just in time to see her let out an annoyed sigh.

  “I’m trying to help.,” she mutters, stepping into the room to sit down in front of you, pushing trash out of the way as she crossed her legs. “I just want to help you...I want us to be happy again..”

  “We were never happy with me,” you hissed, leaning forward so you were face to face, “I was a toy to you. A charity case,” your hand shoots out to grasp her collar before she could back away, fist grasping the collar of her shirt as you pull her closer. You’re almost nose to nose, the grin on your face only grows when her breath hitches. “I’m not your plaything anymore my love, I don’t need you.” You shove her back, standing up as she tumbles to the floor, your eyes boring down on her as she scrambles to get up. “This was a nice chat,” you snark as she pushes herself to her feet, “I look forward to seeing you again.” 

  She gives you one last lingering look, her chest heaving, then she turns and leaves you alone in the vault once again. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  The Doctor visits you a lot more often after that and every time she does you push her away or, in one particular instance, slam her to the ground and watch as she struggles to finally toss you off. But every day she visits anyway, despite the things you say to her, or the way you fight. After a while, the fighting begins to get boring. She had stopped fighting back, stopped dodging your punches or blocking your kicks. More often than not she would leave with a busted lip or a black eye, and you wondered if her new friends had begun to notice. It was only on the sixth day that she told you no one but the two of you were on the ship, and that’s when you began to wonder what she really wanted from you.

  “Why aren’t you fighting back!?” you grunt on the seventh day as you slam her into the wall and watch her fall to the floor with a grunt, tears streaming down your face. “Do you want this Doctor?” you purr, grasping her by her hair and forcing her head back, “do you think this will save you? Release you of your guilt?” you hiss, fist tightening in her hair. You hear her whimper, but she makes no move to fight back. “ANSWER ME!” you growl. 

  “You think I deserve it,” she mutters, sucking in a sharp breath as your fist tightens further. 

  “So what? You’re doing this for my sake?”

  “If it makes you feel better,” she says. For a moment, your eyes soften. Feel better? This wasn’t making you feel better. If anything it was making you angrier. Angrier and angrier until hurting her made you feel nothing but pain. With a huff you release her, watching her fall to the floor. In the next instant, you’re lifting her up, making sure she could stand before pulling away from her. 

  “Leave,” you growl, turning back to your newly rebuilt bed in the corner of your prison and waiting until you hear the telltale sound of the vault door clicking shut before you burst into tears.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   The next time someone enters the vault it’s not at all anyone you expect. The last time you saw the Master he was a woman, now though, he saunters into the room a maniac grin on his face as he surveys you. You know it’s him, his eyes are different from the Doctor’s, more unhinged, those same eyes Missy had locked on yours when you first met her.  You can hear his hearts beat rapidly as his eyes fall on you. There’s a distant siren in the background, the ship must have detected the intruder. You’re too busy sizing him up to really notice. He stalks towards you, hands behind his back, the picture of confidence. “Been a while,” he says as the two of you circle each other. You’re vaguely aware of the open vault door behind your back. 

  “Why are you here?” you ask, stopping short with your back to the door as he stops in front of you, his gaze flickers over you. 

  “Here to rescue a friend of course.”

  “Since when were we friends?” you snark, a smirk forming on your face. His grin doesn’t falter as he steps closer to you, he was a good couple of inches taller than you, you could feel his breath as he grasps your chin and lifts your head up to face him. 

  “I like to think we have interests in common...Am I wrong?” he purrs, thumb tracing your bottom lip. For a moment, your heart stutters. Something inside of you tells you to back away, to get the Doctor. You never thought you’d feel that way again. 

  “Where is she?” you whisper. The Master snorts, pulling away from you.

  “Why do you care?”

  “Where. Is she?” you growl, stalking forward. Your eyes flicker to the psychic hologram filter on his waist, you make sure not to let him notice. He wasn’t really here, of course. You were sure his TARDIS was parked somewhere nearby, that he projected himself into the ship just enough to take control of her layout and for her to detect him. The ship was a maze, and only the Master knew the way out. 

  “Come with me, we can destroy her together,” he says. You weigh your options, and for a moment it's silent except for the occasional beeping of the siren. Then, you’re smirking and taking his hand, allowing him to lead you out of the vault and to the console room. That’s when you enact your plan. 

  “So what’s your plan?” you giggle, fake enthusiasm upon your face as the two of you circle the console. Unbeknownst to him, you’ve hit a specific selection of buttons and switches, waiting for him to set the ship into flight. You knew he had to in order to get to his ship, which, according to the TARDIS was parked on the planet below. When he finally pulls the lever the ship shudders violently, throwing him down. You cling to the console, feeling her layout shift until the Doctor emerges from one of the hallways and runs to the console room. She surveys the situation for only a moment, but the Master is getting up again and there’s no time to say anything. 

  “You tricked me!” he growls, roaring with anger as he tries to grab for you. But the Doctor is quicker, snatching his psychic hologram filter and tossing it to the ground. His image flickers and then disappears altogether. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when the Doctor sets the TARDIS’ course away from the planet below. It’s silent for a moment, she bites her lips as she thinks. Her thoughts are always so damn loud. You tear your eyes away from her, leaning against the console with your arms crossed. 

  “Suppose I’m going back to my cell?” you ask. You hear more than see her walk towards you, her hand coming to press against your cheek. You flinch at the touch, your gaze landing on hers. 

  “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” you’ve got a snarky response ready, but something holds you back. 

  “No,” you say instead, shutting your eyes and leaning into her touch as her thumb brushes gently across your cheek. Where you hated the Master’s touch, hers didn’t fail to make your skin tingle. You sigh, lifting your hand to press against hers. “What are you doing?” you mutter, opening your eyes only to find her closer to you than before.

  “You could’ve left with him,” she says. 

  “I could’ve. Yes,” she smiles warmly at you, you don’t hate it.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you,” you whisper, leaning your forehead against hers. Her hand leaves your cheek to wrap around your neck and play gently with your hair. 

  “I’m sorry I left you..” her gaze flickers down to your lips and for a moment you’re hesitant. She backs off slightly like she could feel your weariness. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she says, “I know what I did was wrong..I was just scared of how I felt about you.” you scoff, “it’s true!” she insists, both arms wrapping around your neck. Your place your hands on her waste hesitantly, her nose is almost touching yours. Once again, her gaze flickers down to your lips. You’re tired of hesitating. You lean in, capturing her lips with yours. She sighs gently into the kiss, her fingers threading themselves carefully through your hair. The TARDIS hums.

  Somewhere down the hall, a vault disappeared from her layout.

[echothelover]

Ok I have been meditating on the snippets u have posted abt ur current writing project for DAYS and I need to know: what’s ur absolute favorite part of what u have so far?? which bit makes u go “oh this is incredible” when u reread it??

Oh! Ok! This was difficult to answer. I have a bad habit of writing my story out of order as I get new ideas for scenes, but after looking through everything I wrote I found a scene that takes place far in the future compared to where I actually am in writing this story.

It's about family, and building a home, and going from passively suicidal to actively wanting to live.

Character reference: Bren= main character, semi-immortal in the sense thathe can live for over 1000 years. Mistral= a ghost + Bren's husband (not yet as of this scene). Stellan= a person in a strange unreachable state between life and death (not quite a ghost, it's complicated) + Bren's spouse (yeah this is a poly love story between a sorta immortal and two sorta dead people, what of it?). Yréwen= basically Bren's sister cause I'm all about found family, Qinek= Bren's adopted daughter+ actually immortal (not just having a really long life span like Bren).

The tree that they got the clippings from was the tree that Stellan was buried under.

Actual scene after the cut

It was his sole purpose for so long. 

A home in a forest far from Silkrift, near the rivers, where the stars shined brighter than they had ever witnessed. There was clay in the riverbeds, enough that he could cover the entire forest with the form he’d gotten so good at sculpting. A quiet place where he and Stellan would eventually settle, away from everything they’d always planned to run from. And here Bren was, everything just like they’d whispered under the blanket of night hundreds of years ago. 

He always figured he’d die after achieving his purpose. He’d been happy at the thought. It was strange. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t like they’d imagined. Not even Stellan was brilliant enough to know what the future held.

They’d gathered up as much as they could carry, which had been a lot between Yréwen’s magic and the carriage. Bren had wanted to bring more, but Mistral pointed out that if they shoved anymore in, Bren wouldn’t be able to fit during their ride back. Bren had almost said to do it anyway, because what was important was that Stellan got to see the home Bren made for them, but he saw the look in Mistral’s eyes before he’d even opened his mouth and had simply climbed in after him.

Now that they had their collection spread out around the shop and every single room with even the tiniest bit of light, Bren had to agree with his friends that he had been perhaps the tiniest bit excessive, but he’d be damned if he threw out a single one of them. 

The house was practically drowning in them, sunlight tinted green as it was filtered through a truly absurd amount of leaves from hundreds of branches waiting to put down roots. It wasn’t just clippings they’d grabbed. Thousands of fruits, which they’d carefully carved the seeds out of before cooking up the rest of the flesh. Some clippings of the blossoms, which had thankfully not wilted by the time they got back, were quickly swarmed and cross pollinated with the trees that had been in place long before they’d arrived.

With so much here, at least one tree had to live. It had to. They had to.

Maybe they’d all live. Maybe they’d crowd out the house and grow through the floorboards, blending the clearing in with the rest of the forest. 

A whole forest full of Stellans. Bren actually laughed at that thought. If anyone asked, he’d simply say that the pollen was the reason his eyes were watering when he gently brushed his hand over one of the flowers.

No one gave his tears a second glance though, not even Qinek, her eternally curious mind distracted by the simple joy of running through the newfound jungle her world had become. She started talking, more than she ever had before, as if simply observing a leaf forcing its way out of its protective shell was enough to send her into bloom as well. Even when she went quiet again, all it would take was going outside where they kept the blossoms to have her dancing alongside the bees that had become a permanent fixture near the house. She only spoke about the trees, but it was more than enough to hear her questioning where there had once been nothing, her ever watching eyes given a voice.

No one could blame her for being curious. When Mistral had gently told her it would take a few years before the saplings even began looking like trees and at least a decade before they grew more than ten feet, her eyes had sparkled and she’d started excitedly asking, “Only a decade? It will only take a decade?” and Bren was shocked to find that he understood her. Trees grow oh so slowly, but still far faster than her, still far faster than Bren, or Yréwen, never truly in the same stasis as Mistral. How strange that he used to think that the Silkriftian tradition wasn’t as beautiful as Stellan deserved, as if the miniscule seeds they’d been buried with would never reach the constellations that they’d adored.

“Dad, did you know that they glow right before they sprout? They look like little stars!” Qinek asked after running to him, bouncing on her heels. And Bren had known and knew that the glow would become permanent once the trees matured, but he said he didn’t anyway so that she could excitedly inform him, as he was suddenly caught up in the fact that unlike all the other times he’d been called her dad, this time it stuck.

“Like the earth after it rains,” Mistral said about the bright sing-song words.  There was too much fondness in his own voice for Bren to even be slightly annoyed that the first thing Mistral got from his daughter’s (his daughter’s) voice was mud. It helped that the comparison made her shout in joy that “plants need rain and soil to grow, Dad! We’re helping them grow!” After that she was too overjoyed to speak again, but it was okay because she kept grinning.

It’s strange to live past your purpose.

It’s even stranger wanting to.