#it mostly took so long because i put a bunch of limitations on myself to try to make it more interesting

[tokiro07]

All this talk about Reborn's got me thinkin' about the Unione Famiglia

[Note: I had to take a few liberties with how Dying Will Flames actually work, but I'm pretty proud of what I came up with]

Sky

Juiz - as the first head of the Unione Famiglia, naturally Juiz uses the Sky Flame. Box Weapon: Fierbois Saber - using the Sky Flame's Harmonization characteristic, Juiz converts enemy Flames into Sky Flames, allowing her to disarm opponents and turn their Box Weapons against them. Box Animal: Lion (Julia) - same as above, Julia's roar turns Box Animals against their owners

Billy - originally masquerading as a Storm Flame-user, Billy revealed his true identity as the leader of Sotto, a rogue faction of the Unione Famiglia. While a part of Unione, Billy reverse-engineered the Box Weapons of as many key members as he could, replicating their abilities with his Sky Flame. Weapon: Revolvers - Billy fires concentrated Sky Flames which he can combine with other Flame attributes for various effects. Animal: German Shepherd (Veronica) - acts as a seeing-eye dog and helps direct Billy's aim

Earth

Fuuko - though initially believing herself to be a jinx, Fuuko learns that she had been unconsciously using the Gravitation characteristic of her Earth Flames to draw foreign objects to people she made contact with, often leading to accidents. With deliberate control, Fuuko has gained the ability to increase the attraction between any two specific targets and can even summon meteorites. Weapon: Handgun - Fuuko can fire Earth Flame bullets that carry a gravitational pull and hone in on a target or give a target pull as if she touched them. Animal: Tanuki (Andou) - can touch opponents in Fuuko's stead to transfer the gravity effect

Storm

Nico - having conducted extensive research into Dying Will Flames, Nico is adept at using all attributes other than Sky, Earth and Night for a variety of combat situations, though he primarily uses Storm and Lightning for their offensive and defensive capabilities. Weapon: Psycho-Pods - each Pod corresponds to a different attribute, with different combinations producing a wide range of abilities. Animal: Lab Rats x 12 (Tesla, Einstein, Edison, Curie, Darwin, Newton, Hawking, Bohr, Sagan, Kepler, Rutherford, Nobel) - each rat has been trained to mimic the abilities of other Union members, allowing Nico to recreate their fighting styles, albeit in a simplified manner

Mui - Weapons: Gloves/Broadswords- by channeling Storm Flames through her weapons, Mui's attacks Disintegrate whatever they strike. Basho Fan - when swung, the Basho Fan produces gusts of wind that carry Storm Flames to extinguish enemy Flames. Animal: Panda (Didi) - mimics Mui's fighting style and also strikes with Storm Flames

Swamp

Rip - Weapons: Scalpels - using the Swamp Flame's Fermentation, anything cut by Rip's scalpels begins to rot; biological targets have their ability to heal impeded by this process. Prosthetic legs - when kicking, Rip can launch concentrated, blade-like bursts of Swamp Flame; he can also use their Fermentation to manipulate gases in the air, producing jets that allow for flight. Animal: Horse (Iseult) - mostly used for transport rather than combat, Iseult can also fly using Fermentation

Lucy - unconsciously, Lucy's Swamp Flames excite her microbiome, causing her to be consistently sick; with proper control of her Flames, Lucy would likely be able to create a sort of "Swamp Flame Sickness" that she could weaponize to make enemies ill, though she likely wouldn't even if given the opportunity. Weapon: Pan tunic - similar to Rip, Lucy channels Swamp Flames through her Peter Pan costume in order to fly. Animal: Butterfly (Tinker Bell) - by sprinkling it scales on a target, Tinker Bell can share Lucy's Swamp Flames and grant limited flight abilities to others

Sun

Andy - formerly known as Victor, Andy was created when Juiz forced a card charged with Sky Flames into his skull, erasing his memories by neutralizing them via Harmonization. Unusually, Andy is able to enter Dying Will Mode voluntarily, channeling his Sun Flames through his body. Using his Flames' Activation characteristic, Andy's body is able to rapidly recover from any wound, and even propel lost body parts as projectiles. Andy is also quite adept at using Lightning Flames, which he uses to Soldify his spilled blood. Weapon: Kurikara - using Lightning Flames, Andy makes his katana near-indestructible; with his Sun Flames, Andy can swing Kurikara at incredible speeds. Animals: Wolf (Victor) - upon taking damage, Victor can use Sun Flames to create temporary clones from lost body parts, effectively creating an entire wolf pack very quickly. Andy is unaware why he thought to name his wolf Victor, the name seemed to just pop into his head. Silkworm (Clothy) - as Andy's clothes get damaged easily due to his fighting style, he uses Activation to spur Clothy's silk creation, perfectly tailoring clothes for himself within seconds. He does attempt to make the clothes more durable with Lightning Flames, though this often simply doesn't prove effective

Top - Weapons: Shoes - when charged with Sun Flames, Top is able to move at incredible speeds while also easing the fatigue that would normally come from moving so fast. Runner's Regalia - by wearing armor charged with Haruka's Lightning Flame, Top is able to move even faster by ignoring the damage that he would normally incur due to wind resistance while also gaining greater offensive output. Animals: Roadrunners (Miguel and Pedro) - a pair of birds that help guide Top as his dynamic vision becomes impaired while moving at highspeed

Forest

Ichico - inexplicably, Ichico suffers from a form of insomnia that makes it impossible for her to sleep. Using the Forest Flame's Realization, Ichico creates flowers that help to ease the negative effects of this insomnia. Animal: Octopus (Oxford) - riding on Ichico's head, Oxford grows vines to create additional limbs to perform tasks for Ichico

Bunny - Bunny manifests large flower bulbs to completely envelope her targets and render them immobile. Animal: Rabbit (Pikilienta Pohles) - "Pipipenda Pohpepu" as Bunny calls it plants seeds in the ground to help set traps for targets, ensnaring enemies when they get close enough

Lightning

Haruka - as a smith, Haruka's greatest ability is for improvising creations on the fly, greatly aided by her Lightning Flame's ability to draw in and bind materials with its electromagnetic properties. Weapons: Isshin Armor - using the Lightning Flame's Solidification characteristic, Haruka's armor becomes near-indestructible. She can also use magnetism to rearrange the armor's arrangement as necessary for different scenarios. Naginata - though unskilled in its use, Haruka can harden and electrify her naginata to make it an effective weapon regardless. Animal: Tortoise (Tesshu) - with its hardened shell, Tesshu serves as an anvil for Haruka to forge weapons and armor upon for her teammates.

Kururu - Weapon: Microphone - using the electrical properties of her Lightning Flames, Kururu creates a magnetic field that pulls others towards her. Animal: Ostrich (Kogomi) - Kogomi dances alongside Kururu to generate a greater magnetic field that both reaches further and is harder to resist

Mountain

Phil - Weapon: Entruster - rather than a traditional Box Weapon, Phil's entire robotic body is capable of channeling his Flames. By using the Mountain Flame's Synchronization, Phil can assimilate minerals such as stone or metal to alter the shape and capabilities of his body. Phil can also fire concentrated blasts of Mountain Flame to devastating effect. Animal: Worm (Ayatori) - Ayatori gathers rocks onto its body, making itself larger to wrap around enemies and constrict them. Outside of battle, Ayatori is quite small but long, and Phil often plays Cat's Cradle with the flexible worm

Void - Weapon: Boxing gloves - by controlling the earth around him, Void can shift the ground to grab onto his opponent's feet, making it difficult to evade his attacks; he can also gather stone into a large gauntlet or full armor, greatly increasing his striking power. Animal: Rottweiler (Bison) - while Void fights, Bison helps gather material for powering up Void's gloves more quickly

Rain

Yusai - Weapon: Katana - by launching Rain Flame slashes at her opponent's Ring Boxes, Yusai uses their Pacification characteristic to prevent them from channeling Flames and activating their effects. She can also target her opponent's body to render them numb, also preventing them from taking action. Animal: Crane (Gekkou) - by flying above the enemy, Gekkou secretly rains Rain Flame down onto the arena, preemptively disabling their ability to use Box Weapons

Enjin - Weapon: Gakuran - channeling his Rain Flames through his outfit, all of Enjin's attacks carry the ability to extinguish enemy Flames. Animal: Boar (Banka) - coated in Rain Flames, Banka charges into the enemy, forcibly extinguishing their Flames

River

Gina - Weapon: Beret- coating her hat in River Flames, Gina focuses the Flame's ability to control fluids such as water and air to create transparent constructs such as blades, though with practice she finds she can make constructs without a focal point. Animal: Jellyfish (Shinohara) -using River Flames, Shinora is able to become transparent and form barriers and limb-like constructs to aid Gina in battle

Tella - Weapon: Speakers - by manipulating the fluidity of soundwaves, Tella can create powerful defensive barriers in the air. Animal: Parrot (Morse) - as Tella is mute, Tella can transmit soundwaves to speak through Morse

Mist

Akira - Weapon: G-pen - by channeling Mist Flames through his pen, Akira can Construct real illusions with his drawings. Animal: Squid (Anno Un) - by spreading Mist Flame-empowered ink, Anno can render itself and Akira undetectable

Creed - Weapon: Gatling gun - rather than casting illusions, Creed Constructs ammunition for his gun, giving him effectively unlimited ammo. Animal: Bombardier beetles x50 (Units 1-50) - when thrown, Creed's Units Construct and launch fragments, incendiaries, gases, or flashes of light, allowing them to serve as reusable grenades

Desert

Sean - though a weak illusionist, Sean is adept at using his Desert Flame's Hallucination ability to render himself invisible. However, to keep the "sand" from getting in his eyes, he often finds himself closing his eyes when using this ability. Weapon: Butterfly knife - Sean is able to turn his knife invisible, but generally he uses it when he is already invisible himself, so there's no particular advantage to this. Animal: Chameleon (Irmao) - also able to turn invisible, Irmao is not blinded by the use of the Desert Flame, and serves as a guide for Sean while his eyes are closed

Latla - Weapons: Crystal ball - instead of creating illusions per se, Latla uses her Desert Flames to conjure images of the future in her crystal ball as a form of fortune-telling. Broomstick - powered by her Flames, Latla's broomstick serves as effective aerial transportation. Animal: Ladybug (Leila) - able to sense oncoming Flames, Leila warns Latla of oncoming attacks and generates a field of Desert Flames to distort her image, making attacks miss Latla

Cloud

Shen - using the Cloud Flame's Propagation characteristic, Shen can attach his Flames to an opponent's body or Box Weapons and assimilate a part of their Flames. This gives him moderate control of the affected area, allowing him to force the opponent to move in ways that they don't expect, particularly when they're distracted while initiating an attack. Weapon: Nyoi-Kinko - using the Cloud Flame's Propagation, Shen's staff can extend or expand at will. Animal: Monkey (Wukong) - able to concentrate Cloud Flames into a literal cloud, Kinto'un, Wukong provides Shen with aerial transportation

Feng - using his Cloud Flame's Propagation, Feng has developed a technique to feed on the Flames of defeated opponents, resulting in seemingly perpetual youth. Weapon: Zuishin Tekkan - by charging the rod with Cloud Flames, Feng changes the rod's shape between a staff, a tri-sectioned staff, and nunchaku, each with variable length depending on the amount of Flame used. Animal: Macaque (Liu'er) - just like Shen's Wukong, Liu'er concentrates Cloud Flames into a mount for Feng, known as Kokuto'un

Glacier

Tatiana - Animal: Hedgehog (Klubnika) - using the Glacier Flame's Freezing ability, Klubnika expands its body to encase Tatiana in a sphere of ice that she can manipulate at will. Tatiana can expand its radius, reshape it into a cylinder for a more focused strike, scatter fragments in all directions, and even create limbs for greater precision. This ice is so versatile that Tatiana does not require any other weapons

Chikara - Weapon: Camera - by focusing on a target through his camera, Chikara can designate where to conjure his Glacier Flames to freeze a target in place. Animal: Deer (Ryo) - as Chikara has to focus on a relatively small area to use his weapon, movement is difficult, so he relies on Ryo to maneuver him to the most advantageous position in battle

Night

Ruin - though unknown what his original Flame attribute was, having his Flame drained from his body nearly killed him; however, his Dying Will resurrected him with the Night Flame. As a resurrected corpse, Ruin is effectively immortal, able to use his Night Flames to turn his body incorporeal when taking damage. Animals: Cat (Shadow) - using the Night Flame's Transportation characteristic, Shadow allows Ruin to effectively teleport. Bat (Blood) - on Ruin's command, Blood creates constructs out of Night Flames that can easily bypass enemy defenses

[crowsofdarkness]

Cam Boy! Bill Skarsgard: Bill sends you naughty texts while you're on a date-Part Six

-pics not mine.-

Pairings: CamBoy!Bill Skarsgard x Viewer!Reader

Summary: Bill isn't ashamed of the work he does, showcasing his body online for anyone willing to pay. His number one rule was never to make a connection with anyone who either sent him messages or paid for private one-on-one video sessions. That was until you decided to request a certain private session.

Content Warnings: 18+ smut which includes Bill having an only fans page, masturbation, phone sex, virtual sex, and language.

Authors Note: this is a limited mini-series, just a bunch of blurbs that take place in this universe. i'm not sure exactly how long this will be. tags will be open for this if anyone is interested!

Tags: @loushaw131460 @hatterripper31 @felicity-lemons-thoughts @malenoradgn @unlimitedlust

CamBoy!Bill masterlist.

I tried so hard to pay attention to what my date was rambling on about but my mind had been elsewhere. More so, the buzzing phone on my lap. It was so wrong of me not to give my attention to my date especially when I saw text after text appear on the screen. We were seated in a pretty busy restaurant, others chatting amongst themselves during their own dates. 

“So then I told him,” John, my date, continued to ramble on, “If you want to buy this house, you need to put in an offer because there are plenty of other people who want it. Then bam, less than two hours later, I sold a three million dollar home. It’s all about pressuring them.” 

I let out a fake amused hum and took a large gulp of my wine with hopes that it would speed up the rest of this date so I could go back home. This was already gearing up to be disaster date number three this week and honestly, I was fucking over it. I was tired of the self centered men that spent most of the time boosting their own egos to even ask how I liked my food. 

“Are you going to finish that?” John pointed to my now cold steak but before I could answer, his fork stabbed into the meat and nearly inhaled it. 

Not being able to hide my disgust, I pushed away my plate and dared a glance down at my phone on my lap just as a new text from Bill came through. 

Bill: How’s the date?

Biting my lip, I felt the heaviness of my heart deep inside of my chest. We hadn’t spoken much this last week because I wanted to give my time and attention towards other men yet every time I tried, all I could think about was Bill. He apologised quite a few times for the collab he did with the one female creator and after the third apology, I reassured him that he didn’t need to since I told him I was fine with it. Bill was mostly upset with himself that his choice hurt me to which again I assured him we weren’t dating so it was fine. 

It wasn’t but I tried to tell myself it was. 

I thought I had a good chance of moving on until John opened his mouth the second I sat down at the table. 

“Oh, damn. I hate that color green on you. It does absolutely nothing to flatter you,” he shuddered while looking over my silk dress. 

Maybe there was a reason why none of these dates worked out. Yes, every one of these men were downright disgusting and egotistical but there was another reason that had been slowly lingering in the back of my mind until I was ready to admit it. 

I wanted Bill and from the voicemail he left me this morning when I woke up told me he wanted me. 

“Good morning. I hope you slept well. I know you’re trying to move on and I completely understand that. I support whatever you want but I can’t with good faith watch that happen without telling you how I feel. I like you, Y/N. I want more of whatever this relationship was in the beginning. I want to be able to call you mine. Only if you want that. I’ll let you go. I’ll have my phone with me if you want to give me an answer. Have a great day, angel.”

Out of the entire voicemail, the only thing I could be hung up on was Bill’s nickname for me. 

Angel. 

It set my entire soul ablaze. It ignited a part of me that lay dormant. I wanted to hear him say it every day for the rest of my life. 

Okay, the rest of my life might be a stretch but maybe we will get there. Eventually. 

Noticing that John still wasn’t really paying attention to me, I began texting Bill underneath the table. 

Me: I want to stab my eyes out with my butter knife so I don’t have to look at him anymore. 

Me: No, I actually want to pour this candle wax in my ears so I don’t have to hear him talk about himself for a goddamn second more. 

Bill: Please don’t do that. Your eyes are so beautiful and I’d be unable to get lost in them. 

I internally rolled my eyes before replying. 

Me: That is the cheesiest pick up line I’ve ever heard. 

Bill: Did it work?

Now, I bit my lip and slowly leaned down in my chair, hiding my phone more. John still had no idea I’d been texting someone on our date. 

Me: I don’t know. I might need something else to help. 

When Bill didn’t respond, I began eating a few of the croutons from my cesar salad, picking them out with my fingers. 

“Christ, Y/N. Use a damn fork,” John chastised me with a disgusted look. 

Maybe the fork would look better in his eyes. 

Instead of saying anything back, I stuffed my face with four more croutons, all while using my fingers, and ignored him as he grumbled something under his breath about needing more wine. While he demanded the waiter to bring us a bottle, my phone buzzed. 

Bill: Would this help?

Attached to the text was a picture, one I nearly giggled at because he looked so damn cute. 

Me: Hm, close. But not quite. 

Before I could even lock my screen, another picture appeared, only this one, Bill was shirtless, showcasing the hardlines of his abs and the dark hairs that led from his belly button down to the v-line of his hips that were barely covered by a blanket. 

So this is how he wants to play. Well, two can play at that game. 

If I tried to take a picture at this angle of my phone hidden underneath the table, it would give me like six double chins so instead, I looked through the countless mirror selfies I took before leaving for this date. It wasn't anything risque but my dress sure was. The low exposed back showed off my entire back and it was cut kind of low in the front to show off the top of my breast. It flowed out at the bottom at mid thigh. My hair was pinned up with a few loose curls falling and my make up was done light but I was sporting a blood red lip. I felt incredibly pretty, that was until John opened his mouth. 

Not bothering to attach words to the text, I sent the picture and sat my phone facedown on my lap just as the waiter brought us a new bottle of wine. Instead of John pouring me a glass like I thought he would, the waiter did and I thanked him with a genuine smile. 

“Did you forget you’re on a date with me?” John somewhat snapped after the waiter left. 

“Excuse me?” I asked with furrowed brows. “I smiled at him, calm down.” 

If only he knew what I was doing on my phone underneath the table. 

“Whatever,” John grumbled before pulling out his phone as it began ringing from his pocket. “I need to take this.” 

Expecting him to get up and leave the table, I was surprised to see he answered it while at the table. He did not care how loud he was as he conversed on the phone, gaining a few stares from people around us. 

Hiding the snarl behind my wine glass, I took a large gulp just as I picked up my phone when it went off. Nearly  choking on the wine, it burning going down the wrong pipe, I began sputtering the red liquid over the white table cloth. John once more looked at me with disgust but did nothing about it. 

Fuck him. Fuck this date. I was so over it especially with what Bill had just texted me. 

Bill: Holy fucking shit, angel. You look fucking devine. I’ve said before, green is your color. I’m setting this picture as my background. 

Then a screenshot appeared with the lock screen of his phone showing that picture. 

But that wasn’t what had me choking on my wine. It was the next picture he sent. His hand wrapped around his very hard cock, smeared precum over the slit. 

Bill: Do you see what you do to me, angel? One look at that picture has me so fucking hard. 

Patting the sweat away from my neck with a napkin, I quickly worked out a new text as John finished his phone conversation. 

Me: I choked on my wine. Give a girl a warning, will ya?

Bill: I’d love to have you choking on my cock instead.

My entire body flushed with heat and I felt the burn between my legs, desperate to have his cock there. 

Bill: Go to the bathroom and facetime me. I want you to watch as I cum in my hand. 

Don’t have to tell me twice. 

“I’m going to order us some desert. You’ll eat the tiramisu,” John basically demanded while waving down the waiter. 

“I need to use the bathroom,” I said while rising from the chair with my things, not having intentions of coming back. 

Safely inside of the one person bathroom, I locked the door behind me and then leaned against the bathroom counter while immediately facetiming Bill. The speed he answered was kind of remarkable and I was about to comment on it when the sounds of his pretty moans echoed loudly in the bathroom. 

“There’s my angel,” he breathed, showing the camera directly on his cock. 

He must have started without me because he’d been dragging his hand up and down pretty slowly. 

“Oh shit,” I stuttered at the sight. 

“I wasn’t kidding. One look at that picture had me nearly spilling in my pants. Can you put the phone down on the ground so I could look at your pretty cunt?” 

With a quick flick of my eyes to the bathroom door, I made sure it was locked and then positioned my phone on the ground so it could look up at my dress. I also put in one of my airpods because no one walkling by needed to hear Bill’s sinful moans. 

“Touch yourself,” Bill ordered with a raspy breath, the speed and grip on his cock intensifying. 

Pushing my panties to the side, I pressed two fingers on my already wet clit. My fingers danced over it with a familiar speed and I let my head fall back slightly with a moan falling from my lips. But realizing I wouldn’t be able to watch him, I looked back down at my phone. He must have had his LED lights on because his body was bathed in red. 

“I’ve missed this,” I admitted, body spasming as I felt my orgasm slowly creeping on the edges. 

“Fuck,” Bill cursed while pulling down the extra skin around his cock to the base and held it there for a long moment. “I’ve missed it too, Y/N.” 

“I’m gonna-,” the words trailed off my lips as they fell open. 

“Let go, angel. Call out my name into your hand, not that asshole. My name!” Bill demanded. 

“Bill!” 

I, in fact, did not cry it out into my hand but into the air. There was absolutely no way someone did not hear that if they were on the other side of the door. 

“That’s my good girl. You did so well,” he praised while I fell to my knees on the floor and reached for my phone. 

“You’re mine, you hear me? No more bullshit or games. Your mine and I’m yours,” Bill said right before spilling inside of his hand, making a mess of cum between his fingers. 

I hummed in sheer post orgsmic haze while watching the entire thing. “I think I’ve always been yours, Bill.”

With a promise to call him once I’m home, I ended the call to  gather myself and smoothed out my dress. As soon as I opened the bathroom door, I came to a halt before nearly running into a body. 

A very irate looking John, his face was red and contorted. 

Oh, he definitely heard my moan Bill’s name. 

Not bothering to give him the chance to talk, I pushed past him, not too nicely while only saying three words. 

“Don’t call me.” 

I didn’t bother to stay to see if he would retort. I had another phone call date waiting for me once I was home.

[sidsledge]

e, j and p for the hbo war ask game!

thank you so much for the ask! <3

e — what was a character arc in any of the shows that you loved?

answered here! but to add to that, I enjoy leckie's arc so much so that episode 4 of the pacific (gloucester/pavuvu/banika) is my favorite of the bunch — I love that the show took the time to explore in-depth the effects of warfare on the soldiers' mental health instead of just going 'well war sure sucks.' it's portrayed very well, and it's always stood out to me the character of gibson and his chat with leckie, which is incredibly interesting: how hopeless it is, how dark, the impact it has on leckie (who's already in a pretty bad place) and how it shapes his already thwarted view of life. so basically it's hard to talk about leckie's character arc without going off about banika's psychiatric hospital and its importance/effect on his psyche, since it's a key aspect of his story imo.

j — do you read fic for any of the shows? if so, rec a few of your favorites.

yes, of course! I mainly read winnix and hilldane (predictably...) and im putting together a list of hilldane fic recs, so I'll leave some of them here:

Lifer by reservoirbetweenus — hilldane. I can't explain how much I love this fic. it's post-war, with eddie going through the korea war and andy having a hard time adjusting to civilian life without him. can't recommend it enough!

A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall by Skew — hilldane. god oh god. so good. i love hilldane before-peleliu fics and this one is amazing and has great andy characterization!

when our history's told by seabright — hilldane. I've said it before but i really enjoy it when andy's disability is explored in fic. this one's amazing (and also post-war!)

Things He Cannot Lose by churchkey — winnix extra. paris/aldbourne angst my beloved! key moment in the winnix fanon.

p — what's a headcanon you have for any one of the shows?

im gonna be honest, im not one for headcanons — not because I don't enjoy them but basically because im very passionate about the source material, and whenever I think about a hc i chastise myself and go 'he would never say that.' but these are limitations for myself mostly, I love seeing everyone else's thoughts! for band of brothers, though, i do like to think about winnix going together to Harry's wedding — as friends, of course. for the pacific, I think it's fairly obvious eugene was a bit in love with andy/eddie, and also I love the idea of chuckler/runner/hoosier/leckie all finding each other at some hospital after peleliu (they did meet again irl, so)

(this ask took me so long to write I kept going over my fic recs and the whole thing got deleted, so I had to start over. damn you tumblr.)

[timbrrwolfe]

Alright I'm /pretty/ sure I already talked about part of this on here (unless it's sitting in my drafts which is also very possible) but I figured I may as well expound on what I was alluding to in the tags of this post.

So in 6th grade I had a habit of forgetting my pencil. Because I had a habit of forgetting a lot of things. Because I had undiagnosed adhd. So, when i was in need of a pencil, I'd sometimes have to borrow one from a teacher. And my homeroom teacher had a policy of requiring collateral when borrowing stuff (which like. Fair enough if he's paying out of pocket for stuff). And in one of those instances I used the book I had out from the school library (Goosebumps: Why I'm Afraid of Bees iirc) as collateral. And then promptly forgot to return the pencil. And somewhere in my kid brain which was terrified of getting in trouble for things, I thought something along the lines of "Oh no, now that book is gonna be out forever and I'll have to pay *gasp* a fine or even for the entire book, I can never use the library again." Which was followed up (at some point) by my bad habit of losing my keys leading to someone finding them and using the library card on them to borrow a bunch of stuff they never took back (including, ironically, a goosebumps dvd we already owned and, for some reason, some book on Hitler). So I stopped using the library nearly as much for a while.

Anyway, in 8th grade I got into a situation that was a confused mess. At my lunch table we were doing some banter, and I was just staring to get comfortable in jumping into these situations (because, as it turns out, I also had undiagnosed autism. Which also explains a lot). Unfortunately, in this particular instance, I made a(n admittedly convoluted) jab at someone that essentially boiled down to calling them ugly. Something along the lines of "your face is like a car crash. Horrifying but I can't look away". Except that instead of my intended target, one of the girls at my table thought I was talking about her and started SCREAMING obscenities at me. At which point I just kinda put my head down instead of like. Trying to explain the situation or any other kind of response. So, because there had been enough of a scene made that the rest of the cafeteria went silent, the teachers on duty naturally came over to find out what happened before fists started potentially flying. And so after some discussion in which I did nothing to defend myself, I ended up getting punished. By....being forced to sit on the outer edge of the cafeteria instead of with friends at the table. But the confusion doesn't end there, no no. See, the teacher (who had been a teacher I'd had) had me pick a number between 1 and 10. And I chose 7. So I had to spend 7 days on...The Perimeter. Except that I wasn't...entirely sure whether that 7 days counted the rest of that lunch period or not. And it was a Friday so that completely threw off my understanding of how long my punishment was going to last. As a bonus, it turns out the punishment wasn't much of one. I didn't mind being on my own, and I even got to get up and get my lunch whenever I wanted, instead of waiting until it was my row's turn to get up and get food. So I just...stayed there for the rest of the year for lunch (at least, when I didn't have "lunch detention" for being late. Which was mostly only a punishment because it limited what I was allowed to eat because for some reason they only let lunch detention kids get the daily hoagie option? I dunno, it was a very strange system. Also, I digress).

My point in this whole story is that if I hadn't gotten spooked out of going to the library (both in-school and public) I probably would've read WAY more books sitting on The Perimeter for lunch for however long the rest of the year was. But instead I was mostly reading gaming magazines and game guides. Which, as an aside, I almost got more out of than playing the games themselves, depending on the game and guide in question. Like, Golden Sun was a pair of RPGs and (thanks to the aforementioned undiagnosed adhd) I did not have the attention span to play through them completely. Still haven't. Maybe someday. But I sure did read through the game guide a bunch. And spent a lot of time daydreaming about having different psynergy and using it in my day to day life. Which is why for a long time I considered Golden Sun one of my favorite games only to put 2 + 2 together when I was older and realize that a lot of my enjoyment was just in the daydreaming about it.

[ragingbookdragon]

Batsis & Green Lantern, Sittin’ In A Tree. K-I-S-S-I-N–Wait, Is That Our Sister? PT. 2

Kyle Rayner x Batsis One-Shot

Word Count: 3.3K Warnings: NSFW (Slightly), Explicit Language Tags: @starflyer-104

Author's Note: Hi I finished this! Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Oddly enough, she didn’t make Kyle do anything other than design the first month he was at Wayne Manor. And she was true to her word. He had an entire room to himself, and the room was as big as his whole apartment, bigger if he was honest; and that wasn’t all—he had every instrument an artist could ever want, even some of the newest drawing tablets and pens that hadn’t even come out yet. Limited edition first pick that only someone like her could get her hands on by merely flashing that pretty smile and her last name of “Wayne”. It was a graphic artists dream come alive, and Kyle was afraid that he was going to wake up from it that he never once tried to pinch himself to see if it was a dream or not.

Surprisingly enough though, (Y/N) was being awfully nice to him too. She’d taken him shopping a bunch of times, a whole new wardrobe and even thrown in a new phone and laptop. Of course, Kyle wasn’t a fool and immediately confronted her about using her purchases to hold it over him. That was the one instance in which she wasn’t awfully nice because she sucker-punched him and told him to never call her a manipulator ever again. That she had never once used a purchase to force someone into something—she was a bitch but she wasn’t that kind of bitch.

He even questioned Jason about it once they got back to the manor and his friend cackled at the nice shiner he’d received. (Y/N) doesn’t buy things for people to make them do what she wants. She buys things for people because that’s how she shows she’s fond of them. Honestly, if she buys you what you want, especially if you ask for it, that’s how you know she thinks you’re a friend of hers. Just let her spoil you for a while, Rayner. You’ll miss it when you have to go back to NYC.

Kyle relented then, instead of fighting her on paying for everything, he watched her. Watched her when he asked for something. Just for a split second she’d get a look of honest surprise in her eyes before that smirk crossed her lips and she’d toss it in the basket before picking up her own needs. He found it almost endearing, the way she acted, like she wasn’t expecting him to ask for anything. And Kyle especially liked that look in her eyes. It made his heart beat a little faster when she gazed at him with those big eyes.

And while he did love that look, it only lasted for one month. Hell had come to the manor, and Kyle was smack in the middle of it.

***

“Good morning family!” she greeted cheerfully, placing her hands on Kyle’s shoulders. She received various replies, some happy, some tired, and Kyle gave his own.

“Morning, (Y/N). You seem happy.” He cut into the buttery waffle and started bringing the fork to his mouth when she grabbed his hand and gently but firmly, took the utensil into her mouth. Kyle couldn’t help but go slack jawed as she chewed and swallowed, offering him a smirk.

“I’m sorry,” she purred. “Did you want that?” His mouth opened and closed, and she pushed the plate forward, replacing it with a tall smoothie shaker that was a bright, sickly green.

“Uh…” he started, looking between the shaker and her. “What’s that?”

(Y/N) nodded at it. “That’s your breakfast for this morning.” She flipped the cap open. “It’s got spinach, kale, bananas, vanilla flavored protein powder, pineapple, mint leaves and spirulina.” She grinned. “It’s got all the protein and greens you need for the start of this wonderful day.”

“I don’t even know what spirulina is.” Kyle remarked.

“Blue-green algae super-food.” (Y/N) nodded at it. “From now on you’re going to drink smoothies every morning and then we’re going to weight train and run every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

Her family started snickering around the table and Kyle swallowed thickly daring to ask, “And Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

She grinned wickedly at him. “Combat, Rayner.” Handing him the shake, she quipped, “Drink up me hearties.”

“Yo ho.” Kyle whimpered when he sniffed it and gagged.

***

“C’mon weakling,” she nagged. “You’ve barely gotten through the second set. Don’t tell me you’re already tired.”

Kyle groaned as he pushed the weighted bar up, holding it for a second before letting it fall. “I told you I can bench press one-hundred. You put one-twenty on this bar,” he griped through gritted teeth.

(Y/N) smirked. “Feel that pain though? It’s weakness leaving your body.” She grabbed the bar with one hand, pulling it up and onto the hold; she grinned as Kyle panted, chest heaving up and down with every sharp intake of breath.

“I—don’t know—how you do this—everyday.” He gasped and she snorted.

“No pain, no gain, Rayner.” She walked around him, and Kyle was too weak to keep his eyes off her as she did. “Oh, I can’t wait for tomorrow,” she cooed, throwing a leg over his hips, lowering onto his thighs.

Kyle’s throat tightened and he gazed at her as she leaned forward, propping her elbows on his chest, staring into his eyes. “Pretty close there,” he panted and (Y/N) smiled.

“Closer the better in my opinion.” Her eyes narrowed bemusedly. “From here I can get a good view of your form.” She pulled away. “You’re using your lower back to push strength into your arms. This time, use your chest and shoulders. Deep breath when you push up, breathe out when you lower, okay?”

He nodded, grabbing the bar again. “What set now?”

“Three. Five reps.” (Y/N) pressed a hand to his abdomen. “Core muscles tight. Glutes tight. Keep the stability and use your upper body muscles alright?”

“Got it.” He said, pulling the bar off and she felt his pelvis start to push upwards and she splayed her fingers.

“Chest, Kyle. Not your hips.” He grunted, trying harder, and she put all her weight onto his hips, keeping them pressed down to the bench. It showed in his form as he improved almost instantaneously. “Nice job,” she murmured. “Keep going.”

He got to the fifth rep, starting to go up, when she purred, “Your arms are very strong, Kyle. I wonder just how strong.”

Something in her voice made his heart stutter and he forgot momentarily what he was doing. The bar shifted downwards, and he gasped as it came down at him; (Y/N) reached out, quick as lightning and grabbed it with both hands, standing from his legs to put the bar back.

She looked down at him, concern in her eyes. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Sorry…lost my grip.” (Y/N) nodded and shimmied away, holding out a hand to him. “Thanks,” he said, letting her pull him up.

“Take five and go get some water, alright?”

He wanted to shake his head, tell her no, that he could keep going, but he thought against it and started for the water fountain in the corner. As he bent over, he happened to look back at her, seeing her bent over, stretching her legs. Heat pooled low in his gut, and he groaned, turning his eyes away.

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed. “Get a grip.”

“Let’s go, Rayner!” she called out behind him. “We’ve got two miles to run!”

Kyle let his head hand and he groaned again.

***

Compared to the day before, getting his ass kicked wasn’t as bad as it had seemed. That being said, (Y/N) wasn’t pulling her punches with him and he hadn’t managed to lay a single hit on her an hour in.

He gasped as she dropped him onto his back and he laid flat, gazing at the ceiling before him; she leaned over him, a cocky smirk on her face. “Need a break?”

“I’m not a novice in hand to hand. I trained with J’onn J’onnz for a while.” He countered with a glare and surprisingly, she nodded, rather impressed.

“I can tell in your form. You counter like he does.” (Y/N) bent down and gently swept away the sweaty hair from his forehead. “You’re learning pretty quick though, if I do say so myself.”

Kyle’s face lit up. “Really? You think—”

“But I can see that it takes you getting your ass handed to you over and over again before the lesson sinks in.”

His face pinched and he griped, “I should’ve seen that coming.”

(Y/N) snorted and patted his head, mocking, “You’re learning.” She smiled. “Now get up. You’ve rested long enough.”

“UGHHH!” he groaned, climbing to his feet.

***

On the third month and final month of the project, Kyle noticed a major improvement in himself. Not only had he lost a few of those extra pounds from snacking, toning all over his body, he’d also managed to expand his stamina a great deal. (Y/N) had congratulated him when he managed to run the various miles without even breaking a sweat.

The designs had come in well too, and Kyle honestly had more money than he knew what to do with. Well, rent and utilities were his most prominent factor, but even then, the money he’d have left over would last him a long time. He almost felt sad when they got to the final week of the project, no longer needing drawings, he was mostly there to make sure the designs were made correctly and with good materials.

(Y/N)’d even given him one of the first sets they produced and even if he was used to seeing his drawings published, it was another thing to see his name on the tag with it. It made him giddy, and he didn’t know how to rope that in with the continued nagging in the back of his brain. That it was all ending in a week. No more breakfast being made, no more laundry done, no more seeing his friends all the time and patrolling with them…and no more (Y/N) constantly.

When he thought about that, Kyle’s chest started to tighten, heart starting to hurt a lot more than he wanted to admit. And he knew why—somewhere along the lines of (Y/N)’s continual ass-kicking and training, he’d fallen in love with her. With her crude attitude and cocky smirks, her proud demeanor and skill, her beauty and the occasional kindness she showed to people, but most importantly, the love she showed for her family.

Most people saw an arrogant bitch who could school people six ways from Sunday both verbally and physically, but what they didn’t see, was the care she paid to those she loved most. To Dick’s anger issues, to Jason’s frequent regrets, to Tim’s consistent depression, to Cassandra’s ever-evolving education, to Damian’s rapid growth, to her father’s hurting soul—she cared so deeply for them, would give anything for them, even her life if it meant. And that made Kyle want to fall at her feet and worship her.

That this beautiful woman who allowed people to talk about her and never cared to correct, was the greatest woman alive, the most loving, the most caring. And she was hard, she was, but her love was tough and those that received it, her siblings and her closest friends, they knew she loved them completely. Kyle knew she cared for him. He only hoped that she wanted more.

***

The production party had been held in France and Kyle had never seen so many elites in one spot that he wasn’t sure how to even drink from his champagne chute correctly. Luckily, (Y/N) had stayed with him all night, tucking herself in his side and covering when he faltered in front of someone who didn’t speak English. And God, there was something very sexy about the way her lips moved when she spoke fluent French.

The party lasted well into the night and by the time they got back to the penthouse, he was dead on his feet. The siblings had dispersed to their rooms and (Y/N) stayed up a bit to speak with Alfred and Bruce over the phone. Kyle lingered around the kitchen with her and when she hung up, she sighed heavily, pulling out the dangling golden earrings and removing the chunky diamond necklace that probably costed more than Kyle did.

Her eyes met his and she smiled tiredly. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“I did,” he said happily. “It was…interesting to see what your life is like.” He chuckled. “Well, your day life that is.”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and he wandered around the island, daring enough to reach up and grab her shoulders, digging his thumbs into her muscles. She groaned and hung her head a bit.

“Feel good?” he questioned, and she nodded.

“I don’t typically wear heels unless it’s for a party and I remember why.” Sighing, she pulled away from his arms and he just barely managed to keep the sadness from crossing his face as she turned. “What about you? Are you okay?”

Kyle shrugged. “Feel like I could sleep for a few days straight, but isn’t that how we all work?”

(Y/N) snorted, then sighed wistfully. “I almost don’t want this night to end.”

“How come?” he asked, and she met his gaze.

“I like seeing you flounder like a fish in front of socialites.” He rolled his eyes and she laughed, shoving him lightly. “I’m joking.” She rested her hand on his shoulder. “It’s been fun having around the manor. I know Dick and Jason have enjoyed hanging out with you.” She smiled and pulled away. “You should come back around after tomorrow.”

(Y/N) bypassed him and started towards her room when he spun and called her. “(Y/N).” she stopped and looked at him, waiting, expecting, and Kyle decided to lay his cards to her, letting her decide. “Spend the night with me.”

For a moment, she was surprised, honest to God surprised, then she smiled sweetly, something he wasn’t really used to, and she murmured, “Come with me.”

And Kyle barely managed to keep himself from tripping over his own feet as he hurried after her.

***

“Shut the door behind you,” she said, and he knew that just from the tone of her voice that she was the one who held the power—not that he cared, all he wanted was her. He felt his heart lurch as the door closed and she motioned him to come behind her. “Mind unzipping me?”

Kyle swallowed thickly as he reached up and grasped the gold zipper, gently tugging it down to where it stopped just above her rear. He also happened to notice that she wasn’t wearing any undergarments and he cursed under his breath. “Fuck, (Y/N).”

She grinned and with one hand undid the buttons behind her neck, then reached back, pulling his hands until his palms were pressed to her bare skin. “Be a dear and slip my dress off for me, hmm?” she leaned back into his hands. “Shouldn’t be too hard now.”

Before Kyle knew what he was doing, his hands were moving underneath the fabric of her dress, around her waist and up her chest, gently grabbing at the flesh of her breasts. (Y/N) gasped, a sound so saccharine in his ears, and leaned her head back on his shoulder.

“Kyle,” she whispered and with his pointer fingers, circled her nipples. Another gasp escaped her as she arched into his touch and she turned her head to the underside of his jaw, sucking the skin at his neck.

“(Y/N),” he groaned, rubbing up against her rear. “Baby...”

She was pushing away from him then, much to his dismay and she spun around, grasping at his suit. “Take your clothes off. All of them. Now.”

All that commanding she was doing was shooting straight to his cock and he obeyed immediately, not even caring about the dress shirt as he ripped it open, the buttons scattering across the carpet. He’d just gotten to his belt when he saw (Y/N) pull down her dress and he almost collapsed on his weak knees when her body came into full view.

For three whole months he’d been slowly driven insane by her tight clothes, guiltily imagining what she looked like underneath during the night, more often than not, relieving the urge.

She smirked and walked up to him, digging her fingers into the top of his pants and turned, pulling him along. They reached the beg and she yanked, sending him backwards onto the bed with a grunt, and then she was climbing atop him.

“I thought you wanted—” he gasped when she grabbed him through his pants. “I thought you wanted me to be naked.”

(Y/N) winked and squeezed him. “I changed my mind.” Leaning close, she let her lips hover above his. “I wanna see how needy I can get you.”

Kyle glared at her and surged forward, sealing her lips in a kiss before he wrapped an arm around her waist, tipping them over. She groaned into their kiss and wrapped her legs around waist. He let his free hand roam her body, caressing her side, squeezing her hip, slipping beneath her leg to grab at the flesh of her thigh. Each grasp, each pinch, each touch had her gasping and Kyle rocked against her, moaning under his breath.

Her fingers busied themselves with his belt and when she got it open, she unbuttoned his pants, and pushed them down a bit. Kyle pulled back to help but the second his hands left her body, he knew he made a mistake because she locked her ankles and placed her hands on his shoulders, shoving back. His back hit the bed and she was on top of him again, this time pinning his hands beside his head.

“Bad boy,” she admonished. “You weren’t supposed to move.”

“Sorry,” he retorted, but he wasn’t. Not in the slightest. “Couldn’t help myself.” He accentuated his point with a deep roll of his hips, and she grip briefly weakened as she ground herself down on him.

“You’re going to help yourself.” She warned, eyes devouring him where he lay. “Every movement is fifteen minutes added to how long I’m going to tease you.”

Kyle grinned. “Yes ma’am.”

(Y/N) matched his grin and before he could even see her move, she had a pillow from the top of the bed placed on his chest, long side up, enough to cover her from sight.

“What are you—” The door opened, and he tipped his head back on the mattress, seeing Dick and Jason gaping at them from the doorway.

For a solid moment, they all stared at one another, too shocked to say a word, then Dick and Jason were letting out the girliest screams Kyle had ever heard them make and they slammed the door shut.

(Y/N) sighed heavily and pressed her face into the pillow. “Lovely. Now we’re going to be all over the group chats.”

Kyle blinked, looking up at her. “You think so?”

“I know so.” She looked at him. “I knew I should’ve booked a penthouse across from this one.” (Y/N) started crawling off him when he reached out and grabbed her hips, keeping her in place; she cocked a brow. “Really? Your mood’s not killed?”

A flash of green appeared in her vision, then the door locked, and he smirked at her. “Nothing can kill my mood for you.” He squeezed her tightly. “Is yours?”

“Not in the slightest.” She reached down and traced the smirk on his lips. “Do me a favor though.”

“Anything,” Kyle agreed, and she grinned wickedly.

“Call me ma’am again.”

[liz-and-the-blue-bird]

Good evening to me

Since I've gotten some new followers: "Good ___ to me" indicate long personal posts. You don't have to read them ofc, they're mostly for me down the line.

This is kind of a weird one, it's mostly reflective stuff today. I don't usually make these without a lot of negative or at least melancholic emotions to work through. Regardless, I want to stop writing about the recent ex, but a lot of this is going to be tangential to her, so she'll pop up a few times. However, I want to focus on some personal thoughts that I've been thinking about.

Here's a song.

Right at the end of February, I took an OCEAN test or a "Big Five Personality" test. This is actually unusual among personality tests, it is actually supported by Psych research. Results tend to not change over a long period of time, etc. etc. You can take it yourself here, and be sure to share with me your results! I'd love to see them. In the meantime, here are my results:

The Extraversion and Openness to experience being so high is unusual, I think. It means a lot of what makes me comfortable involves art and people, or perhaps as an extension of that, expressing myself and communicating. With this context in mind, I've started to look back at my personal history. Moments where I'm sad or melancholic, I tend to write. When I was very young, it started with poetry, but now it has evolved into these journal entries. And I guess the reason I prefer to make them public is because of that extraversion, that longing to communicate with people my ideas or emotion.

Speaking of, I found a bunch of old notebooks the first week of March. So I've been reading through them all. And by a lot, I mean a lot:

And then, even older notebooks.

You can tell these are older because I doodled things on them. I never doodle anymore.

The first batch, the moleskins and stuff like that are primarily journals. Or at the very least, notes on what happened. The one that is open actually started 4 days after the ex 8 years ago. After a week of being sad and noting every single thing that has been happening, it abruptly jumps 8 months to me complaining about something else because I was not a very consistent note taker.

Meanwhile the one with the bird on it is actually a poetry notebook, before I started preferring to write exclusively online aka in the tumblr editor. The last poem written in there is Sucks. Then I stopped writing poetry for a very long time, and a lot of my writing energy became these journal entries, as well as other stuff on this blog, usually regarding anime.

The older notebooks, the spirals, are pretty much all poetry notebooks back from middle school and early high school. Though there's a few where I just doodled a bunch. They date all the way back to end of middle school.

But the poems SUCK. Like they're REALLY BAD. Most of them are actually on DeviantArt however, so they actually had an audience. Had.

I enjoyed looking through them. Interestingly, a lot of the love poems in them are reference to my first first girlfriend in middle school/high school. There was even a photo of us from back then, which was a big surprise. I don't remember much from her other than, well, making out a lot. I liked making out. I still do, but it started there.

We were a problem. We made out on all the band trips home. We would be late to band practice because I had brought her to a quiet corner of the school to just make out with her straddling me or me grabbing her butt. We made out so much in the practice rooms that the band directors ended up putting up signs in the band room saying to limit PDA ("no purpling" I think is what they said).

But I digress. I don't know her anymore. And she has such a common name that I wouldn't be able to stalk her if I wanted to.

Here's an indie song I just learned about and have recently been obsessed with.

I already kind of feel normal. I have spikes down but I've started waking up at 7/10 instead of 3/10 and winding up. 7/10 is about my default state. 10/10 is like... On a date with a girlfriend who I know is excited to be with me. 1/10 is trying to decide if life is worth living. 7/10 is "would dance to One Direction if it started playing right now".

I had a moment about a month after the break up where I just had a really bad breakdown. It was a combination of some more bottled up thoughts about the relationship that I had trouble finding a reason to write down or tell anyone and how poorly I had been taking care of myself and my surroundings because of my mental state. And I told it all out to a very old friend of mine. She comforted me but she said something that has made me feel better the most since the break up happened.

"But the fact that you're here, telling me this in this moment, just shows how much you cared and how much you can care for people."

It made me feel better. A lot better.

My capacity to care.

I care about a lot of things, very deeply, and often for very little reason. Stuff like the most efficient route to work, or my specific boba order that tries to get the "most drink per drink." How I tend to pause and stare at the sky for no real reason other than it's there and I won't see another like it. How I overthink things and memorize useless things. But this is the first time that that I've been told and thus realized, that it is no weakness or weirdness.

It's a strength. It's just me. A tremendous capacity to care.

I've been holding on to that ever since. I hope I don't forget it. Because from my old poetry and journal entrees, I tend to let girls and myself gaslight me into thinking that me caring about them so much, "too much" is a fault of my own. It isn't.

It isn't. It isn't. It isn't.

It is simply me.

But anyway.

I've started talking to a new girl. I've made it clear I just got out of a relationship, just to be fair to her, and tbh I'm not super certain on her, but it feels like I just want to see where this goes. I just really really want to meet people right now.

I think I have always had this fetish for nostalgia. Where I couldn't fall in love with anyone who I hadn't known for a long time. I think I learned about this very recently, and was why I was so aromatic until I re-met the ex. When I realized it, I started thinking I needed to grow out of it in some way. Especially if I'm actively trying to meet someone new. It's not that I wouldn't open up to people, I've always been a chronic oversharer (see, um, this entire tumblr post series), but rather I wouldn't feel supremely comfortable with people until I knew them for years.

But then a friend told me that my music taste is nostalgia. After I linked her that song I just linked. Because a lot of songs I send to her have this nostalgic feeling, even between different bands, genres, languages. Sometimes it's sad nostalgia, sometimes it's happy nostalgia, but it's definitely a longing for something deep and sentimental.

And I had just learned about that song.

This changed my feelings towards my "nostalgia fetish." I don't think I am looking for people who I have known for years. It just so happens that lot of my closest friends are that because I'm old and that's just how friends are when you're old. But I think it's moreso I'm looking for someone who has this same sentimentality. This same depth of emotion when looking at something old or close to them. My fetish for nostalgia isn't nostalgia for the person, but nostalgia in the person.

At least, I hope so.

Whatever, I'm looking forward to meeting new people.

Last song.

Many years ago, I remember the first time I felt normal after that break up. It was like 10 or 11pm and I was bringing someone home. They lived in Round Rock but I lived in downtown Austin, since I was a UT student at the time. After dropping them off, I still had like a 20 minute drive and I had just learned that The Summer Set's album, Legendary, had a deluxe edition, which that song I just linked is a part of. I look them up on youtube and hit play.

And on that drive home I found peace, somehow. I remember stopping before getting to the highway, next to a unkempt grassy field, and standing there, looking at the sky. I missed the sky and stars. I missed that hour drive home from her house when it was getting dark and you could see the constellations because I was between 2 medium sized cities. I missed that bumpy road that seemed perpetually under construction and twisted and winded and didn't make sense. I was a lonely boy who didn't have a place that felt like home and didn't know where he was going to end up. But I knew and, at least in that moment, was fine with it.

I still am that boy. But that constantly under construction road got finished in the past 8 years. That starry sky was gone, I noticed, from our drives to Austin together—too many small towns and buildings had popped up, too much light pollution. I thought I found a place person like home but it was a dusty extended stay motel that I ended up staying at for 5 months, with too high of a rent and a crummy landlord.

Last time I felt over her, I remember saying that my daydreams no longer had a girl on my shoulder. I felt really aromatic. Really antisocial. I became an island. And I don't know if I'm trying to replace her or what, but I don't think that will happen this time. I might be fine without a partner, but I know I am better with one. I know I'm ready.

For anything, really.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Hey I read this somewhere idk a fic or something maybe idk if its canon, that like brucie Wayne is Bruce's public, tabloid persona, dicks is Richie grayson and only people who knew him, family or friends call him dick

hmmmm. see, here’s where it gets a bit tricky babe.

so, it’s very clear that bruce has 3 different personalities: “brucie wayne,” the over-the-top borderline alcoholic playboy who throws money around like it’s nothing and over the years, has become (not canonically, but accepted by the fandom as) a kind of dull but doting father. then there’s batman, the gruff professional legend that actually acts as more of a legend than a human and drives everything for the sake of the mission. and then there’s just bruce, who is a little more relaxed and caring version of batman that’s only let out around his family and a few close friends.

but dick,,,,doesn’t really have that?

now as far as i’ve seen and read, dick grayson is,,,,dick grayson. the public calls him “dick,” (or probably, as i headcanon, “dickie grayson”). he’s seen as a cute little kid that bruce took in during the early years. i’m stopping myself from screaming and saying a bunch of words because jesus christ is high society racist. then later on when he grew up, people started treating dick as a mini-bruce: a fun, flirty playboy. 

the thing is, there isn’t,,,,that stark of a difference between dickie and dick. with bruce, you get whiplash, but for dick, it’s almost as if a couple pieces fall into place? they’re both cheerful, exuberant, funny people who are freely affectionate and loving. 

(and part of that playboy persona is actually dick’s.

there’s an absolutely disgusting trend in comics that i’m sure almost all of you have noticed of dick being objectified, catcalled, and sexually assaulted by a lot of people in the dc universe, mostly women. and dick’s shown to be very uncomfortable with all this unwanted attention from people he doesn’t know or doesn’t know well. we all as readers are also uncomfortable with this.

but it’s also shown that when he’s with his friends, he does act playful, fun, and flirty. this is because there’s already a foundation of mutual trust and respect, along with a relationship built on years of friendship. once dick knows, is familiar with, and comfortable with someone, his naturally fun and flirty side comes out, and it’s usually mutual bantering on both sides. and dick’s okay with it. he enjoys it because it’s a way of him relaxing and playing with his friends, and it isn’t at all affected by his appearance or anything because he’s known these people for years, because knows that the mutual appreciation of each other comes from friendship.)

so there’s that: the fact that dickie grayson and dick grayson’s personalities aren’t all that different.

but then there’s the fact that dick grayson is a performer. and he has a lot of masks. it’s almost like there are minute personality changes every time dick’s company and position in the team or duo changes. this is partially due to evolving times, character changes, and of course different writers. but this is something i’ve seen happen with the same author, and if i’m wayyyy off-base, then this can just be a hc of mine that explains the way dick’s core personality changes from writer to writer (ignoring the few writers that just completely obliterated him.)

when dick’s with the titans, he steps up as a leader. he’s commands respect and gives respect in return, issues out orders, sometimes has some control issues but he works through those and learns to listen to his team. when dick’s with the original fab five, or kori, or babs, he lightens up a bit. he’s more easygoing, relaxed, and goofy. he’s still committed to his job and has a strong work ethic, but you can tell he allows himself to chill a little bit in the presence of people that he knows has his back. 

when dick’s with the batfam, he acts as sort of an authority figure. this came after jason, once dick started assuming responsibility for tim, but it continued on with each addition. bruce has obviously been the figurehead and sort-of patriarch of the batfam since the beginning, and alfred and babs are people the bats love and respect and give credit where credit is due. and trust me, it’s a lot of credit. but dick’s become their emotional anchor, someone they know they can rely on, someone they fall back on when they need it. he’s their safety net. (although i have to say. recently jason has been turning into the batfam team mom. idk what that’s about but i am thoroughly amused and kinda enjoying it.)

when dick’s with bruce, he becomes,,,,,,,i don’t want to say more childlike because dick’s gone to great lengths to make sure bruce respects him and treats him as an adult. and bruce does, for the most part. but there’s years and years of history between the two of them, and you can’t just wipe away the years of bruce raising dick as his own kid. too much has happened for them to go back to the easy dynamic they used to have, but too much happened in the past for them to ever pretend like they don’t mean as much as they do to each other. so,,,yea dick takes on a little more of a childlike role and bruce acts a tad more paternal than he normally does in the suit.

and when dick’s allied up with people to defeat either a greater or common enemy, his demeanor changes once again. allied, or fighting against people he has history with. this includes shrike, deathstroke, and tiger. when he’s with them, the nightwing mask drips into his entire personality. he’s chatty and witty, but each word is carefully calculated and has a purpose. he makes barbed jokes, fights with 110% of what he’s got, and pushes himself to his limits without ever letting anyone else know.

this is probably how the public never figures out he’s nightwing. (,,,,,,,most of the time.) dickie grayson is probably just different enough from nightwing that no one puts it together. going back to my point of dick being a performer, he probably holds himself differently, moves his body differently, styles his hair differently, has a different resting face, etc. these subtle changes are what people absorb easily, and are what throw people off. dick also probably uses this in the other masks i mentioned above, depending on how approachable, easy, or cunning he needs to appear. 

there are constantly thousands of masks that dick’s putting on and taking off. so to sum up my own, person opinion and very long, very wordy, very rambly answer to your quick question: no, dick doesn’t have different drastic personalities like brucie wayne and batman. but dick does have a bunch of masks, and he slightly shifts his personality depending on his company. 

[tomhollandnet]

Vanity Fair: How have you been doing this past year? I mean, what has life been like in these COVID times for you?

Tom Holland: I got to say, Richard, I’ve been very fortunate during these difficult times. For me, my career hasn’t really halted. I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve been able to continue working. I made a film called Uncharted with Mark Wahlberg last year. I’m currently shooting Spider-Man 3 at the moment. So I’ve been very lucky.

It put a pause for a while, and I went home and we locked down in London, and I had a few months where I was sort of kicking about the house. But all in all, I’ve had a great time. And I’ve really enjoyed the jobs I’ve been working on. And I definitely recognize how lucky I am to be working, when so few people are at the moment [and are] really, really having a hard time. So I’ve been very lucky, and I’ve been enjoying myself.

And now you have this whole different kind of work, promoting Cherry and kind of getting the word out about that movie. I have a bunch of questions about this big epic. But I’m curious in terms of, what’s the origin story? Obviously you’ve worked with the Russo brothers pretty intensely for the past few years. Was it just kind of an automatic collaboration?

Yeah, basically as simple as that, really. I mean, I was working with Joe and Anthony on Avengers: Endgame. And Joe took me aside and said, “We’re making this film. We want you to be the lead. It’s a small, independent film.” He didn’t tell me what it was about. He just sort of told me that he wants me to be in it. And I was honestly just touched that they wanted to work with me. Of all the people in the business they could work with, I just felt really honored that they’d chosen me. And then when I finally got the chance to read the script, I was even more blown away, because I finally recognized the opportunity that had been handed to me.

As a young actor, you’re always looking for ways to challenge yourself. You’re looking for ways to push yourself you haven’t been in the past. And I think we could probably agree that this film achieves both of those goals. So as soon as I read the script and I knew that it was the Russos making it, it was a no-brainer, and it was a very definite yes.

It definitely does feel, I mean, in terms of its content and its style, even, like a big change for you. Do you at all view this as your first grown-up role, or your first adult role? I mean, is that how you kind of look at a project, or is it more just, this specific thing interests you?

That’s an interesting question. It depends what you mean by an adult role, but my agents and I are very strategic in choosing our moments, and trying to be really clever with when we decide to take that next step into becoming an adult and making films about real people and about real problems and getting messages across. And we did that a little bit with Devil All the Time, the Antonio Campos movie. That was kind of the first step, but Cherry is the big step. And that was why it was so daunting, because I haven’t done a film like this before. And I was nervous to see how the world would see me in that light and as that character. Obviously, the film hasn’t come out yet, but I am very apprehensive as to see how people respond to my work in this film.

There’s a lot of intense stuff in Cherry. What was, to your mind, when you read the script, the most daunting thing? What were you most scared to shoot?

I think it was probably the emotional aspect of the film. Physically, I knew I could do it. I knew I’d be able to do that. But emotionally, I’m very lucky and lived a very charmed life, and I’ve been an actor since I was 11. So I haven’t really had to deal with much trauma, or sorrow, or grief, or things like that. So I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to maintain that level of emotion for a four-month period. That is where the Russos became so valuable, because they were my safety net. That’s where Ciara Bravo was so valuable. She was my partner in crime, and she’s absolutely astonishing in the film and a great friend. And I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have had her to help me throughout this process. So I think for me, yeah, the thing I was most daunted about was maintaining that level of emotion.

What kind of prep did you do? I think actors who are very good actors, they can fall into the trap of when they’re supposed to be acting high or on drugs or something, there can be a sort of showiness to that, as sort of theater. And something that’s really, I think, immersive and bracing about Cherry is that there’s none of that. It feels entirely credible when these characters are in these lows of their lives. Did you talk to soldiers, addicts, anything like that, in prepping to shoot?

Yes, absolutely. We did loads and loads of research. I mean, I must’ve sat down with 30 different people who are all veterans, who are all medics, all suffering from PTSD and substance abuse. And for me, the more information I could get about a problem that I knew so little about to begin with, the better. I worked with nurses. We worked with someone who was running a rehab clinic in Cleveland, and he became our consultant and would be there on set with us every day and would show us how to shoot someone up and show us how to cook heroin, or explain to us the feeling of what would it be like if you mixed a bit of crack with heroin.

There’s a scene in the film where I go to rob a bank, and I shoot up in the car just before. And he said to us that day, “You would never do that before you go into rob a bank.” But if you put a bit of crack in there, it would totally change your attitude and your physical prowess, I guess. So having people on set like that to kind of guide us through the process was so valuable.

I think I’m a bit older than you, and these characters are about my age. I was in college in the early 2000s, and 9/11 was my first week of college. And people in my hometown, well, my neighborhood in Boston, a lot of them were lost to opioids, either killed, or went to prison. And you’re younger, but did you see any parallels between this kind of half-generation removed and your age, the Generation Z? Do you think that a lot of these things are still kind of ongoing?

Yeah. I mean, arguably the opioid epidemic is worse now. And it’s affecting far more people. I think one of my favorite things that Joe said, Joe Russo, is the opening of the film is these swooping shots over Cleveland. We fly over Cleveland, and we see thousands and thousands of houses. And that is to convey to the audience that, yes, we’re telling the story of two people, but really, we’re telling the story of millions of people. This is one story amongst millions. And I really hope that this film can shed the light on a problem that’s invisible, and a problem that is mostly fought in the shadows. People are very ashamed to talk about their addictions and that sort of thing. So I hope that this will shed light on that problem, and people will change their attitude towards people who are suffering from addiction.

It almost feels surprising that there hasn’t been something about this very epic subject matter. What were the conversations like on set about the film’s style? I mean, it is pretty stylized. Did you feel that in the shooting, or is that kind of all added after the fact?

Absolutely. I mean, the Russos changed their way of shooting time and time again while we’re making this film, from different lenses they were using, from different styles of lighting, from different performance techniques. They would frame us sometimes very differently throughout the film. So we were very much aware of the different type of chapters we were trying to make.

Was that a real head-shaving moment in the film?

Yes. Well, we’d already shaved my head, because we were shooting prior. But what we did is we had about a week’s worth of work where we just allowed it to grow, and then he shaved it down to a one. But I actually loved having a shaved head. It was so nice. It was so refreshing to wake up, get out of bed and realize that your hair was already done. It was one of the only luxuries of playing this character.

Yeah. I let my hair get too long during quarantine, and then said, “Screw it. I’ll get the shortest haircut I’ve gotten in years.” And it is liberating. You just wake up, and you’re done.

Totally.

You’re on set, filming something else now, in very changed times from when I think Cherry was filmed. What is it like being back on a set? I mean, I’m not asking for spoilers or anything, don’t worry, but just in terms of the actual day-to-day of filming a movie with all these new restrictions, how has that experience been?

I mean, I love being on set. It’s where I feel most at home. It’s obviously limiting, with COVID, and we’re having to be very careful and very responsible in the way that we behave. There’s certain protocols that we have to follow, to make sure that we maintain this level of safety for the cast and crew. It can be a little tedious at times, but it’s so necessary. And we all recognize how lucky we are to be working right now. So it’s a necessity that we don’t mind taking on because, as I said, we’re also lucky to be here.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

[uschi-the-listener]

Level 13 Group Home for Boys

The place where I did my practicum was making money by busing kids from group homes to the facility for group therapy. Unpaid interns ran groups under the supervision of a licensed practitioner, either an MSW or MFT or MFCC. I was a budding Marriage and Family Therapist, still in school, but experiencing the work firsthand, rather than from books. I had, and still have, a passion for the work.

If every story has a hero, I suppose I could be considered the hero of this one. It's not that kind of story, but if you asked, if anybody remembered me, I would be it. I'm sure that nobody remembers me. I was a cipher, a tiny cog in a huge machine. But I didn't break down when the system did.

That day, I was being supervised by the most recent low-bidder, a social worker who had been fired from the prison system and found a job working with these kids, kids aging out of the foster system. Sixteen and seventeen year olds who were their adult height and had little to lose. Kids too violent or too difficult or too mentally ill, or sex offenders, kids who hadn't worked out in actual foster families but ended up in group homes, watched over by former prison guards.

The ratings for group homes go from 1 to 14, with 14 being the most disturbed, the most violent. Level 14s were not allowed to travel outside the group home, but Level 13 kids were.

I was under supervision, running a group with a bunch of Level 13 gang-members. I had met the social worker in charge a day or two before. I don't remember his name. I don't remember what the topic for the group was for that day; in any case, we didn't cover it. We had a lesson of a different kind.

The first time I met him, this supervisor tried to buy my ring off my finger. I didn't sell it to him. Then, he started leaning in the sexual harassment direction. Then, he called our clients the "dummies" and "thugs" and was completely insensitive to my expression of horror. I was hoping he would just tune out and leave me to run the group. No such luck.

The kids were unusually unruly that day. Left to myself, I'd have abandoned the assigned subject matter and just taken their temperature, asked what was up, why everybody was so agitated. I wasn't in charge. The person who was, chose to make it worse.

He was rude and scornful and started barking orders at the group, taunting them, then started singling people out for scolding and derision. Of course they escalated their behavior. He was harsh and disrespectful to a group of kids who were mostly bigger and tougher than he was, people who had been brutalized and abused in ways he could not imagine. Survivors of things he would not have survived. I was disgusted with his behavior and so were the kids. In response, they were noisier, more profane, and echoing his abuse with their own.

The kid I was sitting next to, who the supervisor was currently needling, was becoming more and more upset. The boy did not have good impulse control and being called out, mocked, and humiliated was making him visibly angrier. He was breathing hard. His lip was quivering, eyes flashing, and he seemed to be growing bigger in his seat. He was trying so hard to control himself and wasn't answering back, but he was shaking with anger and suppressed violent urges.

We were next to the only window in the room, a smallish one, with that chicken-wire netting embedded in it. The kid had reached the limit of his tolerance. With a great, "Fuck You!" he suddenly turned, without looking, and punched out the window over my head.

We were covered in glass. The room went silent. The stupid supervisor was caught in mid-sarcasm. The other boys looked stunned.

I turned to the kid and asked him, "Are you okay? Let me see your hand. Did you get cut?" His lips quivering, chest heaving, tears threatening to fall, he glanced at me and shook his head. I asked him again, "Let me see," and took his fist in my hand and gently pried open the clenched fingers. He appeared to be okay, but covered in broken glass.

I asked two of the boys I had had prior sessions with if they would take the other boy to the rest room to clean up, and then bring him back. The supervisor stormed out of the room, angry and shouting something about "Ungrateful..." something. Nobody paid any attention. The rest of the boys were silent and eyeing me in astonishment. I still didn't know what had been happening to get everybody into such a state.

So I asked. I said, "I don't want to put anybody on the spot, but, can somebody tell me what happened? Why was (kid) so upset?" It came out, then, that he was about to turn 18. In the foster care system, there is no mercy for kids with poor grades. This kid had not been successful in school, so he didn't get the lenience of a few extra months or years protected from the street. He was kicked out, expected to fend for himself, on his 18th birthday, which would have been 2 days from the date of the incident. He was terrified and heartbroken.

Who knows what that kid had suffered? Kids born into addicted families, families with domestic violence, sexual abuse, severe poverty, kids subjected to racism and microaggressions, kids with multiple traumas before their brains had had a chance to develop, don't have a good prognosis. There is no support. The most damaged, the most traumatized, are further brutalized by the system supposedly set up to ensure their safety and education.

Nobody can learn when they're in constant fear or when they have to spend all their energy keeping themselves and vulnerable others alive. This kid was not particularly bright. If he had any talents, he had never had a chance to develop them. What he had going for him was being big and scary. Dark skin, scars, tatts, long dreadlocks, over six feet tall, a deep voice, and no inhibitions about intimidating threatening adults. Good for him. That energy could some day become a great asset. In his world, it had kept him alive. That day, it wasn't any help at all.

Somebody called the police. I never saw that boy again. The other kids came back and told me he was in custody. After that day, I never had a problem with that group of boys again. They would high-five me in the hall, teach me slang, pull me aside to talk. Because, maybe for the first time in their lives, they saw an adult who sided with them, instead of the other adult in the room. Because I cared about the glass on that boy's hand and in his hair and clothes more than keeping order in the room.

Mere decency is not heroic. Kindness to children should be a given. There were no heroes there, but if there had been, it would have been me.

[creepypocky]

Hello dear! May I have a romantic and Nsfw creepypasta match-up please? Feel free to ignore this if they are closed but if you do choose to do this then thank you so much! I hope you have a great day/night!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm a big extrovert, goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back. I can have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting.

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything. Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

So for the nsfw part.....I'm very shy and i'd like it if someone guided me. But i'm 100% a Bottom and I love praise and maybe a tiny bit of degradation. I also have a big ownership kink like if someone tells me that i'm their's....then I might die. Also if they told me that they "Needed" me I would also die on the spot...in a good way. I'm also a sucker for marking like lovebites and hickies? Yes please. But please tease me and edge me because I prefer not having control so someone else being in control is just...lovely. Also pet names! Like Sunshine, Babygirl, Doll....AHHhh I might melt. Things I don't like are impact play or the whole "Daddy kink" It kinda just makes me cringe

I also don't think I really have a type but.....I do tend to love people who are brooding, and intimidating on the outside but a big teddy bear on the inside because that's how I am sometimes. I hate people who are fake or just passive aggressive because they are super annoying to deal with and honestly if you have something to say then just say it to my face rather than behind my back.

Hello :)

|| I enjoyed reading through this. I'll definitely work on it now. ||

I match you with ~ Jeff The Killer!

First off, he really likes your size and style, he has a think for small girls that can still be tough and that’s something he loves showing off when you get together lmfao, he’s like, “Yeah, my girls strong. Fuck you gonna do about it?”

Now, Jeff is a really unstable, violent guy. A lot of people (even me) don’t even see him ever being interested in being in a relationship, so when the creeps saw Jeff with his arm around you, they were immediately baffled by it.

The truth is, though, this man totally wants to have someone by his side, someone that accepts him even though he’s a killer. Someone that’s open to his feelings and is willing to look past all of the horrible shit he’s done.

You’re like that to him, it took him a very long time to get used to how he felt for you at first. At first he thought his brain was just being stupid, but Jeff isn’t dumb. He knows what these feelings feel like, and he recognized them almost immediately after that.

Jeff is really insane, and he constantly leans on you for support and depends on you to keep him leveled at times. It can get pressuring, but despite it all he always makes sure to not blame you if he ends up doing something dumb because he knows it’s not your fault.

He finds your clothing style pretty hot, he really loves badass kind of outfits with leather and band names, because as I said, he loves to show off that his girl is “cool” or something.

He thinks your resting bitch-face and cold exterior is really badass too, being around you always gives him so much confidence and its a great change from the usual fake confidence he has around everyone that he keeps up as a defense mechanism when in reality he was always pretty insecure.

I honestly think Jeff is an extrovert too, like he loves being around people and interacting with them (When they’re not normal people and don’t think he’s hideous, that is). I canon this mostly because when hes alone, then he’s also alone with his thoughts and his thoughts always end up wandering to his insecurities and what he hates about himself, but you often catch him during these times and you reassure him that everything will be okay and that you still love him.

He totally relates to being the friend that says stupidest shit, you two will often just go up to one of the creeps and just start spouting random shit. He honestly fucking loves being goofy with you, and you two are always creating awesome memories together when you prank the other creeps and sometimes each other and he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

When you do stupid shit that gets you in trouble or puts you in danger, he’s always quick to get to you and make sure you’re okay, he would probably panic a lot though. Like, “What the fuck, dumbass?” “How the HELL did you do that???“ as he’s frantically trying to solve the situation. Will most definitely sit there and laugh at you for a good 5-10 minutes once the whole thing is dealt with though.

You being able to stick up for your friends is one of the great qualities about you that he absolutely adores, especially since before he became a killer he would always get bullied and nobody would ever stick up for him, so one day when you defend him against a bunch of assholes it just warms his heart up and makes him feel so loved, but he most likely wont admit that.

He’d let it slip eventually though.

When you’re feeling self-destructive, he is 100% there for you. Although he’s not really the best at giving advice, he’ll still sit there with you and let you talk your heart out and will listen to every single word because he wants to show that same contribution towards you that you’ve shown him. He’ll constantly reassure you that not everything is your fault and that you’re strong, and he’ll make little promises to you.

If it was a person in particular making you feel that way though, he’d definitely make sure to pay a visit to the motherfucker.

He admires your determination to fight for the things you want, but to an extent. He hates it when you overwork yourself or push beyond your limits to the point where it destroys you, and he wants you to know that you’re not alone and you can ask for help, you don’t have to destroy yourself. He’s more than willing to stay right there, by your side.

He understands hiding your true emotions, because well, he’s had to do it a lot around the other creeps and around his family when they were still alive. So he won’t ever push you to talk about somehting if you don’t want to, but he doesn’t want you to pretend to be okay either. He’s more than willing to just lay with you and do whatever you want if it would make you feel better.

He honestly likes how you have a southern accent at times, when he’s feeling upset or like his sanity is draining, your accent really soothes him so sometimes he’ll ask you to lay it on thick because he could honestly listen to you talk to him and listen to your accent all day if he wanted to.

It’s good that you like cigarette smoke because I canon this man smokes very often.

When it storms at night, he’ll always hold you close to him with a blanket and just listen to the storm sounds with you because it soothes him too. This man is really pent up from feeling driven to constantly murder and just sitting with you listening to the rain and thunder is one of the main things that level him.

He’s really not the best.... at cooking.... but, this means you can cook often for him since he won’t for himself. B)

He will just put you in a car and drive for hours to no destination and blast that 80s and 90s music just to see that smile on your face.

This man will 100000000000% destroy any spider within a 10 mile radius of you.

He understands not liking people who are fake because there were a lot of people who talked shit about him when he went to school, and when he has a problem with someone he will always say it to their face and make them understand that they’re a piece of shit to him.

NSFW:

You like being dominated and guided? Good, because this man is at least 95% a top. He thinks it’s adorable that you’re shy and will most definitely be willing to guide you through the whole thing and tell you exactly what to do for him.

Jeff is really possessive tbh, so when he’s fucking you he will constantly say shit like,

“Fucking mine”

“You’re nobody elses“

“You belong to me, only”

This man will definitely bite you everywhere, he lives to just throw you down onto the bed and start biting everywhere on your body and making sure to leave marks just so you know exactly who owns you.

Don’t worry honey, he will spend hours just filling you with his cock and telling you that you cant cum unless you beg more, or he’ll just pull out right when you’re about to cum on him and just slap your folds with his fingers as a way to make fun of you.

He’ll call you things like, “baby” “dollface” “darling” when he’s feeling passionate but oh boy if he’s feeling angry or he’s punishing you? Be prepared to be degraded all night.

There we go <3

Sorry if this is too long lmfao, I just think that Jeff is a really misunderstood piece of shit. I hope you’re having a great day and taking care of yourself, and I hope you enjoyed this matchup. :)

[notquitecanon]

Ohhhh or maybe one where the reader just makes jasper talk for a while just cuz she adores his accent 🥺

Jasper could feel your bad mood from outside your house- he was always so attuned you you. If his abilities were anymore developed he would probably be able to see your mood like a dark storm cloud hovering outside of your bedroom. Alice had a vision in the middle of their hunt of how your day would go, but with the sunny weather and the face they were already in the Canadian wilderness- he could do nothing but hope it wasn’t too bad. After stopping by his house to change clothes, he made a beeline to the tree line that surrounded your yard like a natural property line. He’d seen your silhouette in your window starting at five pm, but couldn’t make a move until the sun had gone down. The last thing his family needed was Chief Swan getting called because your neighbor caught him climbing into your window. The moment the sun dipped below the tree line, he raced up and into your bedroom.

You had been wallowing in self pity: already showered, in pajamas, and lying face down in bed with your computer playing some of your music quietly. The moment he crossed into your room, you felt his presence like a calming wave washing over you. Eyes fluttering shut as some of the tension left your body, you muttered, “Jasper.”

“Evenin’ Darlin.” His voice was like honey-warm, sweeter than sugar, slow, and sticky. Drawing you into his words and keeping you there while he lingered on the edge of your room. Ever the gentleman, waiting for your invitation. Prying your head out of your pillow, you faced him.

While you observed his freshly glowing golden eyes, slightly disheveled blonde hair, statuesque posture, and heavenly face- he did the same, taking in your tense muscles, dark under eye bags, flushed cheeks, and the general feeling of resignation and annoyance in your emotional map. He didn’t fail to notice you’d been crying- you didn’t fail to notice that he noticed. You were the first to break the silence, adjusting yourself to meet his eyes easier, “Good hunt?”

Jasper breathed a quiet laugh, such an abnormal question asked so nonchalantly, but entertained the notion nonetheless, “Most of us went up into Canada, into the mountains. Emmet took on a pretty big grizzly so he’s in a particularly good mood. I got a Moose and a couple deer.”

You didn’t know what truly constituted a “good hunt” but his thirst seemed appeased so you nodded. The head ache that came after a long day hadn’t put you in a particularly chatty mood. Jasper filled the silence, “Alice told me you had a bad day- well, told me you would have a bad day. I’m sorry I couldn’t help, doll.”

Shaking your head, you brought your knees up to your chest before wrapping your arms around them, “Not your fault, Jazz, bad days happen.”

There was a beat of silence as the two of you stared at each other, him trying to dissect every emotion you were feeling and you mentally begging him to just drop it. Finally, you just patted the spot beside you, motioning for him to join you. Talking waant something you wanted to do, but just having him close would be a big step towards feeling better.

As always, the vampire had a hard time saying no to you. So with the mattress dipping beside you, he easily slid beside you- staying perfectly still until you were situated. As usual, you bunched up a blanket where you cheek would rest against his chest- thick enough to cushion against his stone chest but thin enough to be close enough to smell the comforting scent he always had on him. Cologne, cedar, leather, something woodsy, and a sweet scent you could never quite put a finger on. After letting you settle, he looked down to you, “Wanna talk about it, sugar?”

He felt you shake you head before you nestled closer to him, so he just wrapped his arm around you alternating between tracing patterns up you arm and running cold, graceful fingers through your hair. One of your arms flopped across him just to have more phsyical contact, and Jasper frowned out of your sight. Besides truly changing your emotions (which felt invasive), he didn’t know how else to help. So for the moment, he just let you curl into him. Golden eyes raked across the room before landing on a book on your nightstand so without jostling you, he easily snatched it up.

Not bothering to read the synopsis, he began flipping through the first chapter- quickly becoming amused at the scandalous historical fiction set during the Civil War in Mississippi. Now that he thought about it, he remembered Angela passing it off to you during third period. He chuckled at a particularly inaccurate and racy part. His laughter was deep and reverberated through his hard chest which roused you, at your movement, he tried to quiet himself, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. This book is just so terrible.”

His amusement made it hard not to smile as you tried to snatch the book out of his hands, the racy novel had been on lend from Angela and after the second chapter had been collecting dust on your nightstand. He easily kept it out of your reach, amusement growing at your protest (and quiet proud that he’d got you laughing again, he could already feel your mood lightening up). Listening to his laughter made you long to hear him talk in the smooth southern accent, about anything (anything other than that awful book), “Well, if the book isn’t up to par, how about you tell me what it was really like?”

As his chuckling was dying off, he thought about it before tossing the book back on the nightstand. It wasn’t that his past was an off limits topic, there was just a lot of it and he preferred to live in the moment with you. But you were staring up at him with hopeful eyes, and he could feel the remnants of sadness and frustration so he just nodded. “Well, first of all Mississippi didn’t see battle until The Spring of 1862, and union soldiers didn’t make any head way until a year later. So the notion that a this woman met a union soldier celebrating victroy in New Albany is just wrong. Even if it was true, she wouldn’t be so eager to fall into any soldiers tent considering Conderate troops would of torched her father’s plantation for being a sympathizer or vice versa.”

“Hmmm.” You hummed in response to the history lesson, before he continued going back and forth between learned history and personal experience until he hit where he was changed. You’d heard this story, traced the silvery scars on his arms, so once he went quiet you didn’t press any further. “So where were you at the turn of the century?”

“I was still with Maria, we were going back and forth across the border in Texas and New Mexico, I honestly didn’t now it was the new century until 1905, but we were the cause of the Austin Dam failure.” He mused, thinking pack, “I left shortly after the start of the First World War, to search for my friend Peter and because I was tired of fighting Maria’s battles- she starting to lose trust in me and me in her.”

You’d heard him talk about Peter and Charlotte, the only two he ever let escape, “Did you find him?”

“No, not until the late 1930’s, so I mostly just wandered around the South and the West as a nomad. The roaring twenties were fun between Chicago and Mexico City, I’d like to go back to New Mexico someday.” He thought aloud, cold lips ghosting on the crown of your head as his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. The hand laid over him searched for his so you could intertwine you fingers with him. He squeezed for a moment before detaching just to play with you fingers, burning hot compared to his cold touch.

“Where’d you go next?” You asked, letting him gently tug and curl your fingers with his. Jasper laughed bringing your knuckles up to his lips. When he had just fed, it was so much easier to be so close- which is where he preferred to be.

“You’re mighty full of question tonight, ma’am.” He teased, dropping you hand in favor of lightly digging his fingers into your side. The quiet squeal, laughter, and weak attempts at fighting him off was so delightfully human that he couldn’t help but do it every now and then. Jasper gave you a moment to calm down before continuing, “I spent some time in Tennessee and then Kentucky, the Great Depression hit those areas pretty hard, but it was better than being involved in a territory war.”

“Peter and Charlotte ran into me in the Appalachian mountains- that would be the late 30’s- it was easier to hunt without gaining attention up there.” He paused to gauge you reaction, carefully checking for any fear. Finding none, he sighed in relief before continuing, “They told me about Coven’s in the North, how there weren’t many territory disputes and how in some areas they could even go out in day light...”

You let your eyes slip closed, tension melting as you listened to his honeyed words, and his fingers toyed with your hair. Jasper kept going, talking about traveling with Peter and Charlotte through the Midwest and Northern states before breaking off from them too. Then it was the Fifties, going into a diner and meeting Alice. You’d always envied Alice a bit for her closeness to Jasper, even though you knew neither of them felt that way for each other, but you were also incredibly grateful to her- who knows where Jasper would be without her.

“I remember she said that I’d kept her waiting long enough and I thought to myself I’ve never seen this woman in my life, but I sat down with her regardless and she told me about ‘vegetarianism’ and our future family. I could feel her excitement but I thought she was crazy.” He laughed to himself, a beautiful sound. You’d heard this story a few times from him and Alice. “I was about to go on my way, leave Alice in the wind when she told me something I couldn’t ignore.”

You perked up, neither of them had ever mentioned this part of the story. Craning you’re neck up, you saw he was watching you expectantly with a soft smile tugging those perfect lips up- waiting for a reaction, “She told me that she’d seen me with my soulmate and her future family. She couldn’t tell me when, or where, or how, but she’s seen it and I had to trust her. She felt so sincere and I’d been lonely for so long that I left with her that very afternoon.”

You sat up very suddenly, blood rushing to your cheeks ass you turned around to him, “Jasper, you’ve never told me that before! What are you doing with me then?”

Jasper couldn’t help but grin at the flash of indignation and feisty anger, but quickly frowned when it morphed to hurt. His movement was much faster and infinitely more graceful than yours as you took your face in his hands, “You were the girl in the vision, (Y/N), you’re what I’ve been waiting for.”

It was like someone pulled a plug on your negative emotions as they drained out to be replaced by jittery happiness, and he didn’t need his brother’s telepathy to see the wheel’s turning in your head, “Oh.”

Meanwhile, you were trying to figure out the appropriate reaction to being told your someone’s soulmate. You��d never really imagined life without Jasper, you’d long since admitted to yourself that he was the love of your life, “Well, I’m glad you believed her otherwise I could be with Mike Newton right now.”

It was a bad joke, but he laughed nonetheless and pulled you back down with him, now wrapping both arms around you-effectively trapping you to his chest, but you had no reason to be afraid or even attempt to break free. There was a long pause of silence, him sending off soothing vibes, (it was getting pretty late) listening to the sound of your heartbeat as it slowed, and waiting for you to doze off. It did surprise him when you spoke back up.

“Where’d you go next?” It was quiet, sleepy, but a request he wouldn’t deny. He’d pay you back by asking a hundred inane question about your childhood tomorrow.

Pulling your comforter over the two of you, he adjusted you to what would be a more comfortable sleeping position. He continued, “Well, in took a few years but eventually we met Carlisle who welcomed us to the family with open arms. It took a bit to adjust to the new life of going to highschools and colleges, being around humans. Alice would occasionally drop little hints about you, your hair color, eye color, things you would do in her visions, and that was enough to encourage me to stay with it.”

You only hummed in response, turning over a bit as you let him nudge you towards sleep. Jasper was more than surprised when you made it to the mid-seventies without falling asleep, but was satisfied that he could no longer read any anger or frustration on you. Brushing a lock of hair out of your sleeping face, he silently laughed at your unconscious reaction to his cold touch. Yes, he had waited nearly sixty years for you.

“Good night, darlin’. I love you.”

Bad moods and all, he’d wait a hundred years more for moments like these.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Goddamn it Kyra I wasn't even interested in the Lego Lokis before, but now that you've so rudely posted pics of the options I'm probably going to have to buy some. So, couple questions: I'm not familiar with the website you linked to (it doesn't help that I'm on my phone lol) - do you get them from that site or just Aliexpress? I've kind of poked around there but I don't think I've ever actually bought anything - do you have links to those ones you bought or any tips for finding them on the site? (or like. using the site in general without getting scammed or something? Idk much about it other than stuff being low priced lol).

😇😇😇

putting the rest behind a cut because oops this got long

OKAY SO the cool thing about knockoff Lego figures is that a) there are a ton of them, so you can probably find multiple versions of most characters, and b) they're super cheap, so if you do end up getting ripped off, you're probably only out a few bucks. plus if you don't get ripped off, you feel like a genius, because authentic Lego minifigs tend to cost way more than they should (and if you get them online, you probably don't have a good way to know that they're authentic) and here you are getting something just as good or better for way less.

the site I was getting pictures from is HeroBloks, which I only just discovered myself a couple days ago; it looks like mostly it's good for tracking your collection (and learning more about bootleg Lego minifigs in general, maybe--I didn't really realize until now how many different companies there are making Lego-like minifigs) rather than buying, with individual pages including sale links that are only mildly useful. like, the extremely sad TVA Loki has an AliExpress search link that apparently just searches for "blocks," which is the least helpful search term imaginable; the eBay link uses "xinh+xh1745+loki (tva)" as the search term and that's definitely better, although it doesn't actually turn up anything. maybe that one's too new to be widely available yet, I don't know. (I hope that's the case. I need him and his sad little face to come and live with me.)

anyway--eBay is a possible source. searching for "loki minifigure" gets me results for several of the new ones I’ve been seeing, and they all seem to be shipping from Japan or South Korea. the problem is they're all selling for $4.99 plus $7.49 shipping each, which is...more than I want to spend on something I know is a knockoff of some kind when I don't know anything about the quality control and I'm not guaranteed to get what's in the picture. (here's another listing asking $40 total for all 8 figures I bought yesterday, which is actually a better price, and I'd probably end up doing that if I hadn't found them elsewhere, but that's because I have a problem.)

this is why I like AliExpress, because the risks are slightly higher but the prices tend to be much lower, even with shipping prices having gone up a bit over the last couple years. as I understand it, the site is basically just a huge marketplace for tons of different sellers in Asia, like if eBay only allowed fixed-price listings and it was based in China. the vast majority of the site reads like it went through Google Translate, because it probably did. you can find...basically anything there. I have no idea if any of it's authentic. (I also don't know anything about how or where any of the knockoff stuff is made, so...there is that.) I would not, for instance, drop $300 on a Hot Toys Loki from here, even though I absolutely would have the option to do so, for the obvious reason that I'm not going to risk that much money on an item that might be a cheap knockoff or could arrive broken. there is, in general, a solid possibility of breakable things arriving broken, because decent packaging costs more. cheap shipping will be slow (by which I mean like...up to 90 days), and most purchases either won't have tracking at all or won't have accurate tracking, so this is absolutely not a place to buy anything you want to get quickly. you also don't want to just buy something and forget about it, because there are (variable but generous) time limits past which you can't get a refund if you don't receive your items. the site's UI is...mostly functional. you often have to get a little creative with your search terms to find what you want (and sometimes you won’t find what you want through searching, but through looking at related items on the pages of things that aren’t quite what you want or are what you want but aren’t a good price). you will, absolutely, come across a lot of stolen art on things like pins, t-shirts, stickers, and phone cases, which you might not realize until you see something you recognize from a fanartist you like, and obviously that sucks. listing photos are nearly always stock photos, so in many cases they won't tell you anything about the item you're actually getting. you know the Wish app, and all the crazy things people get from that? you can find all the same stuff on AliExpress, at similar levels of quality.

however, if you approach it keeping all that in mind, it can be a great resource. I can't make any guarantees about the site's safety, but to the best of my knowledge it's secure and I've never had any weird charges show up after buying something. it's also my understanding that Alibaba, the parent company, is more or less the Chinese equivalent of Amazon in terms of the amount of business it does, which would probably be pretty tough if customer data were routinely being exposed to thieves, you know? I've also successfully gotten several refunds for items that never arrived, which actually hasn't happened all that often--but knowing that it can happen and that the return period expires, I’ll check back on the site if it seems like it’s been an unusually long time and I’ll make a reminder for myself of the deadline so I can contact the seller in time if necessary.

so the way I shop there is, I don't buy expensive or fragile things in general, because I recognize there's a nonzero chance I'll get a cheap knockoff, or something that was broken in transit because the seller tossed it in a box with no padding and called it good, or sometimes nothing at all. but like eBay, the sellers and items have ratings and reviews from customers, so that helps avoid some risk. items with lots of reviews tend to include at least a few customer photos, which are great for getting a better idea of what the thing you're buying actually looks like. I took a bit of a risk last year buying a Hot Toys (or the equivalent, I actually have no idea) Steve Rogers head for about $20, for instance, but I wasn't super worried about it because the customer photos looked good, the seller I used had a lot of sales and a lot of good ratings, and it was still a lot less than I would've paid for an authentic Hot Toys Steve Rogers head--and in fact he got here just fine and he looked fantastic. I also spent about $20 for a knockoff Iron Studios Loki statue, because in that case it was like...yep I’d love the real thing, nope I’m not willing to spend hundreds of dollars on it, yep I am willing to spend $20 on something that doesn’t look quite as nice but still looks good enough for me in the customer photos. well, and I’ve also bought knockoffs I knew would look bad, because they were cheap and I want all the Lokis and I have enough of an addiction that all the Lokis does in fact sometimes mean “even ones that look really bad” to me.

anyway, uh, Lego-type minifigs. this is an especially good area to go knockoff, because--okay, apparently I can’t link to a page of HeroBloks search results for some reason, but it’s the best resource I’ve found for this type of thing that isn’t just authentic Lego figures. but if you go there and do a search for “loki” you’ll get a bunch of results and you’ll see that they come from like...9 or 10 different brands. Lego specifically has only four Loki options: Avengers Loki in black, Avengers Loki in gray for some reason (which, frankly, looks like a cheap knockoff but isn’t), movie-inaccurate Ragnarok Loki with the blue outfit and the full helmet, an ugly Classic Loki, and a mostly green Loki from I guess the first Thor movie (and then I think they’re going to release a TVA Loki, a Sylvie, and a Throg). all those other results--all those different outfits from every single Loki appearance, and different variations on those outfits, nearly all of them more screen-accurate and/or detailed than the Lego versions--are technically knockoffs. they’re better and you can buy them for way less. (I mean, a lot of them are new so I don’t have them yet, but I do have frost giant Loki, better Ragnarok Loki, better Avengers Loki, opera Loki who actually has another face that’s half-Jotun, and at least one chrome-helmet option, and they all look basically like the photos. so I think I can reasonably expect most of the new ones to look basically like their photos too.) 

for reasons that I don’t understand aside from a vague guess that it’s copyright-related, AliExpress pretty much no longer shows full pictures of Lego-type figures in their listings--instead, you have to pick just based on the heads. this is a problem when lots of heads look very similar to each other! luckily, the listings also typically have the actual serial numbers for each figure, as do the HeroBloks listings, so you can cross-reference them to see what you’re really getting. for instance let’s take this listing because it’s cheap and it offers most of the Loki figures that are currently available. say you’re interested in one of the horn-less Lokis. there are...let’s see, five of them, but you have no idea what they actually look like aside from slightly different facial expressions and maybe weapons. however, the first one listed says XH1359 for its color...and what do you know, 1359 is the serial number for this Loki by a company called Xinh. okay cool, how about the last one? the “color” is listed as WM2182--and yes, HeroBloks has a listing for a Ragnarok Loki from World Minifigures with the serial number 2182. (I just ordered all 8 of the new World Minifigures ones yesterday, so again, I can’t personally guarantee yet that they’ll look as good in person as in the pictures--but I think they probably will, and more importantly they cost a whole dollar each.) and if HeroBloks doesn’t have a particular figure, you can probably find something useful just by googling the serial number.

I specifically bought from this listing yesterday because they currently have a bit of a sale going and a deal for free shipping if you buy 10 figures, and I wanted a couple duplicates, so it worked out to be the cheapest option. the same store has another listing for a bunch more Marvel characters, including a couple more Lokis I already had, so it should be pretty easy to get the free shipping so the figures are less than a dollar each and you’re only risking about $10. if you’d rather try one or two and see how it goes, it looks like this listing is probably the cheapest, with figures currently going for a little over a dollar each once you add shipping (although it’s totally possible shipping is more for me because Alaska).

that’s...probably already way more information than you really wanted, but I hope at least some of it makes sense. feel free to ask other specific questions if they come up--I might not be able to give answers exactly, but I can probably tell you what my experience has been, which is better than nothing.

[flowerfan2]

Ok friends, I’m cracking up sitting here right now, because I just took a quick trip to get bagels, came inside with the bag of bagels in my hand, and then sat down to post today’s chapter before allowing myself the reward of eating breakfast... and this is how the first line of today’s chapter begin:

David comes into the house with a bag of bagels in one hand and a tray of hot beverages in the other...

I got iced coffee instead of hot, but still, I guess it was meant to be!  Hope you enjoy Chapter 15.  @perryavenue​ is going to recognize where I got my inspiration for this one...

David x Patrick, A03, 3k this chapter, 48k so far.  

Chapter 15

David comes into the house with a bag of bagels in one hand and a tray of hot beverages in the other, listening to see if Patrick is awake yet.  He was hoping to surprise him with breakfast in bed.  Unfortunately, sunny Saturday mornings mean long lines at the bagel place, and it all took a lot longer than he had hoped.

David deposits the bagels on the counter, spotting Patrick sitting outside on the lanai.  Drinks in hand, he joins him at the table and leans over to give him a quick kiss.

“Successful trip?” Patrick asks, taking the lid off his tea and inhaling appreciatively.

“Mmm, yes.  I checked several of the bagels on the way home.  The French toast flavor is overrated, but they do an excellent marble rye.”

“Leave any for me?”

“Even I can’t eat a dozen bagels in half an hour.  Three, maybe, although that would still be a mistake.  There are plenty left for you to choose from.”

Patrick grins at him and leans back, putting his bare feet up on David’s lap.  David frowns.

“What, are foot rubs before coffee incorrect?”

David mock-glares at Patrick, even though he loves these silly call-backs to their history together.  “Bare feet outdoors is incorrect.”

“But there’s a swimming pool.”

“The pool is over there,” David waves his hand.  “You are here, sitting at a table, eating breakfast.  Not swimming.”

“Technically I was reading the news on my phone.  Not eating breakfast.”

“Keep antagonizing me and there won’t be any breakfast in your future, either.”

Patrick grins at him, then removes his feet from David’s lap and goes inside to retrieve the bagels, along with plates, cream cheese and lox.  Ordinarily David would insist on toasting his bagel, but these are so fresh and warm that they demand to be eaten immediately.  They busy themselves with their food for a few minutes, David moaning in appreciation, mostly just to watch Patrick react.

“So, I had an idea for what we could do today.”

“Is eating a pile of bagels and then taking a nap not good enough for you?”

Patrick chuckles.  “I was actually thinking of going kayaking.”

David nearly chokes on his food, and Patrick pats his back good-naturedly.  “Kayaking?”  He doesn’t screech, but it is a near thing.  “What about me, exactly, suggests that I would want to go kayaking?”

“Come on, David.  We’ve been sitting around here for weeks.  I did just get the all clear from the doctor.  It’ll be fun.”

David does not think for a minute that it will be fun, as kayaking will undoubtedly involve bugs, unstable vehicles, and the threat of drowning.  But Patrick has been beached, so to speak, ever since his injury, and David knows it has been weighing on him.

“I don’t suppose we could go on a nice, safe hike instead?”

Patrick laughs.  “We can do that another day.  I called a place about a half hour from here, they have two boats available this afternoon.  Just give it a try.  If you hate it, we won’t stay out long.”

Much to his surprise, David does not hate it.

They show up at the launching area in their swim trunks and shirts, David with his long-sleeved swim shirt on, and Patrick with some kind of sports related jersey.  Their guide makes them wear ugly life preservers, which ruin David’s look but do give him a bit of relief when it comes to his drowning concern.  After a short lesson, during which Patrick asks lots of excited questions and David tries valiantly to follow along, they each get into a kayak and are pushed out into the water.

The sun is shining rather enthusiastically, and David is glad that he has sunglasses on – he even made them stop along the way to buy a cheap pair, in case they wind up in the water.  Patrick bought a ridiculous strap that holds his on his head, and he’s got a ball cap on as well, so there’s not much to see of him except his lovely pale arms which David very much enjoyed slathering in sunscreen.

David pulls his attention away from Patrick and focuses on stroking his paddle through the water, trying to put the guide’s instructions into action.  Patrick stays near him, offering quiet corrections, and soon they both fall into a comfortable rhythm.

David knows that he’s in better shape now than he’s been in for most of his life.  Although running doesn’t do much for his upper body, at least he’s got stamina.  He tries to relax and enjoy it.  If he paddles just right, the kayak cuts through the water without very much effort on his part.  It’s kind of neat.  Soothing, even, almost like the way it feels when he gets into a groove on a run.

They aren’t out on the Gulf, as ocean kayaking is far beyond their skill level.  Instead, they are making their way down an inlet of some kind, a broad waterway with docks and houses on both sides.  Soon they are out in the bay, and Patrick directs them past a piling with an egret’s nest on top, over to a bristly bunch of trees at the water’s edge.

“These are mangroves,” Patrick says, indicating the dense tangle of scrubby looking trees with visible roots.  “They’ve adapted to living in salt water, extracting the fresh water they need.  Some of them push the salt out onto their leaves.  The leaves even taste salty.”

David doesn’t ask how Patrick knows this.  He’d just wind up watching him lick a leaf.

They paddle closer, and David can see into the clusters of plants, the roots and branches weaving together.

“Want to go through?”

David has no idea what Patrick is talking about, but he follows him as he kayaks around the edge of a cluster.  There’s an overhang, and what looks like a tunnel into the middle of the clump of mangroves.

“Are you serious?”  David asks under his breath, but Patrick is already nearing the entrance.

“Go slow,” Patrick says over his shoulder.  “Try not to point into them, and if you do get stuck, just grab on carefully and lever yourself off.  Remember not to overbalance.”

It’s a recipe for disaster, but David gently eases himself into the tunnel.  It’s cooler and dim inside, with branches and green leaves all around him.  It smells like low tide, musty and brackish.  The nose of his kayak gets hung up briefly as he turns too hard in one direction and for a brief moment it lists dangerously sideways, but he takes a breath and then uses his paddle to back up a bit and set himself on a straighter path.

He catches Patrick looking back at him, having executed some kind of fancy twisting maneuver so that he can see David.  “Nice paddling, David.”

They rest for a minute there, Patrick showing David how to move his paddle to make his kayak go sideways (“it’s like a figure eight”) with limited success.  Then Patrick spends some time pointing out to David the difference between the red, white, and black mangroves, which doesn’t make any sense because they are all clearly green.

David doesn’t argue with him.  It’s far too nice here, hidden among the curving branches with Patrick who is so clearly, uncomplicatedly happy.  David will wear an ugly life jacket and take his chances with the alligators anytime if it makes Patrick smile.

After they extract themselves from the mangroves, Patrick makes them paddle into the wind in order to reach a spot where they can pull up on to the beach.  It’s less pleasant than drifting in the trees, but it’s worth it when their kayaks land on a sandy shore.  Patrick jumps out of his boat first, pulling the bright orange monstrosity up out of the water, and then returns to help David get out of his without tumbling over, which David very much appreciates.  

They sit down and stretch their legs, Patrick continuing to chatter about the birds they saw on the way over, how he’s never seen so many of the pink ones (roseate spoonbills, they’re called, but Patrick likes to correct David, so he pretends he doesn’t remember), how they’re fortunate to see so many birds of some kind or another this time of year.

After a while David just pulls Patrick against him, and Patrick shuts up, kissing David with the taste of salt on his tongue.  They make out for a while, alone on the shore, their kayaks shifting slightly as the water laps against their sterns.  Patrick lies back on the sand and David hovers close, his elbow braced against the ground as his other hand slides Patrick’s sunglasses off so that he has more skin to kiss.

They can’t go too far, for obvious reasons, but it feels wonderful to kiss and cuddle in the sun.

Finally they sit up, a little shy, and Patrick takes David’s hand in his and squeezes it.

“Thanks for doing this today,” Patrick says, and David’s heart swells.  It’s not such a big deal, participating in an activity just because your partner asked you to.  And it really wasn’t a hardship.

“It’s fun,” he concedes.

“I didn’t think you’d agree to come.”  Patrick looks away, out across the water.

David puts a hand on Patrick’s chin and turns his face towards him, until his brown eyes are locked onto his own.  “You asked.”  There’s very little he wouldn’t do for Patrick.  He can’t quite say that out loud, but he doesn’t have to.  He thinks Patrick hears it anyway.  

That night David’s putting away the remains of their take-out (Thai food, purchased on the way back from their kayaking adventure) when Patrick dances over to him and presents him with a package.

“What’s this?  Aside from an already opened and poorly resealed cardboard box?”

“Open it and find out.”

Inside under the blue tissue paper is a menorah, a pretty silver-plated one with a leaf and branch design.  It can’t have been cheap.

“Patrick, you didn’t have to-”

“I always imagined getting you a nice menorah, when we finally had a place together.  I had seen this one online, and when I realized it was Hanukkah, well.  Here it is.”

David just stares at it for a moment, tongue-tied.

“Do you like it?”

He wraps his arms around Patrick and kisses him soundly.  “I love it.”

It’s actually the end of Hanukkah already, so they load up the menorah with the appropriate number of candles and David mumbles what he remembers of the blessings.  It’s a rather lovely moment on top of a particularly lovely day, and David has to take a minute to keep it from overwhelming him.

Patrick notices, of course, and wraps his arms around him from behind, his chin on David’s shoulder, and they breathe together for a while.  When David relaxes Patrick nuzzles his ear.  “Want to go to bed?”

David turns in Patrick’s arms, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth at the eager look on Patrick’s face.  “Someone’s having a good day.”

Patrick captures David’s lips in a kiss, hot and insistent, and when he pulls back David is breathing hard.  “Tell me you’re not.”

He shakes his head, happiness bubbling out of him.  “Can’t do it.”

They make it back to the bedroom just before clothes start to come off, and soon they are naked and wrapped around each other, hands skimming over heated skin.  Patrick seems to have a plan, he’s wound up and raring to go, and David loves it.

“What did you have in mind?” he asks as Patrick straddles him, holding his head in his hands and nipping along David’s jaw.

“I want you to fuck me,” Patrick says into the shell of David’s ear.  “Open me up like this, and then fuck me.”

A thrum of arousal pulses through David at Patrick’s words.  They’ve had a lot of sex over the past week, but Patrick hasn’t asked for this yet.  

Their initial attempts at penetrative sex hadn’t gone particularly smoothly, back when they first got together.  After a few mishaps they had ignored it for a while, content to turn each other on and get each other off in a variety of easier ways.  David was happy to introduce Patrick to the pleasures of a really excellent blow job, and Patrick was, as always, a quick study, finding that he loved to bring David to the edge and then tease him until he was reduced to a writhing, begging mess.

And David was always quick to reassure Patrick that penetrative sex wasn’t the only way to have sex, that no matter what he thought in the past, they could make each other happy in any way they were comfortable with.

But Patrick was nothing if not determined, and so eventually they made their way back to it, first Patrick tentatively pushing into David, and later, when Patrick was in just the right mood, Patrick asking for David to do the same for him.  

“You don’t have to like it,” David remembers saying to Patrick, one night when Patrick was feeling some combination of bad and nervous and embarrassed about the whole issue.  “It’s okay if you don’t want to do it.  It really is.”

At some point, though, something happened that changed Patrick’s mind.  David’s pretty sure it had to do more with Patrick’s headspace than anything else, his gradual letting go of heteronormativity and becoming more comfortable with his view of himself as queer, but his prostrate probably factored into it as well.  Afterwards Patrick clung to David like an octopus, both of them sweaty and blissed out.

“How do people not do this all the time?” Patrick asked, pressing his face into David’s neck.  “How can it feel so good?  Why didn’t you tell me?”

David had laughed and hugged Patrick tight, too caught up in his fiancé’s astonished joy to wonder how he was going to keep the attention of such an amazing man.  It had been a very good night.

Tonight was shaping up to be even better.

Patrick holds himself over David while David finds the lube, and lets out a low moan when David reaches down and starts to press at his hole.  David takes his time, circling gently, then increasing the pressure, all while Patrick moans and sways above him.

Patrick leans down to kiss him, his mouth open and trailing wetly down David’s jaw, catching on the stubble.  He’s got a hand on David’s chest, and then Patrick shifts so his mouth can continue its journey, finding one of David’s nipples and sucking hard.

“God, Patrick,” David whines, just holding on to Patrick’s hips while Patrick bites at one nipple and then the other, sending sparks of electricity through his body.  “Come here, let me-” David gets his fingers back where he wants them, and then he’s pressing inside, Patrick fucking his fingers.

“Ah – David – oh god, yes, there, oh-” Patrick pushes back against David’s fingers, rocking back and forth, hands grasping at David’s arm and his chest and then valiantly pulling at David’s cock, although his attention is understandably elsewhere.  “Ohhhh, David, now, please, fuck me now.”

“Like this, or…?”

Patrick slides off David’s fingers and stretches out on the bed, pulling David on top of him.  “Like this.  Please. Now.  Come on.”  

David’s helpless to resist, Patrick’s big eyes pleading with him, his hands running up and down David’s arms, grabbing at his ass, squirming underneath him like he can’t wait a moment more.

“Okay, baby, okay.  I’ve got you.”  And he does, lubing himself up with a few quick strokes, and then positioning himself carefully between Patrick’s quivering thighs, one hand bracing himself on the bed as he slides into Patrick’s tight heat.

“David,” Patrick moans, “oh, fuck, yes.”  He’s reaching for David, trying to pull him into a kiss, and it’s messy and breaks David’s rhythm and he doesn’t care, it’s so good, Patrick wanting him like this.  David’s heart is slamming against his chest in time with his thrusts, and Patrick is writhing underneath him.  The slick slide of their bodies feels so good, David doesn’t know how he can hold it all inside.

“Patrick, baby, I love you, I love you,” David pants out, heat pooling inside him, a familiar tightness building.  

“Come on, David, oh god, come on,” Patrick pleads roughly.

David’s hips are moving frantically now, his muscles burning.  He’s shaking, dripping sweat everywhere, and he’s close, he just needs to keep going a little longer, for Patrick, he can do it.  

“David, I’m so close, oh god, you can, David-” Patrick gets a hand on his own cock and pulls, and David feels him, feels him quaking and shivering.

David comes with a rush of sensation, light exploding behind his eyes.  Patrick is almost there too, and David gets a hand on him, both of their hands on Patrick’s cock, twisting together, over and over.  Suddenly Patrick’s back arches and his whole body convulses as he comes, head thrown back in ecstasy, a long whine falling from his open mouth.

David collapses next to Patrick on the bed, turning his head to press his face against Patrick’s shoulder.  Patrick drapes himself over David’s side, arm sliding over his back, nose digging into his collarbone.  They lie there until the aftershocks subside, and then some, not wanting to move.

“Gonna have to change the sheets,” David finally says.

“That’s the first thing you think about, at a time like this?”  Patrick teases, a shaky hand brushing David’s hair out of his face and onto his forehead.

“No, it’s not,” David says.  “But it’s the first thing I can say without blushing, and I don’t have the energy for that.”

“David,” Patrick says, pressing a kiss to David’s lips, then pulling back before David has a chance to enjoy it.  “Are you feeling things tonight?”

David snorts.  “I’m feeling quite a lot.  Seemed like you were, too.”

Patrick starts to hum <i>“Feeling Groovy”</i> and David can tell it’s coming, he can tell before Patrick even gets a whole phrase out, and he slaps a hand over Patrick’s mouth.

“For once could we finish up our lovemaking without a concert?”

Patrick is laughing against David’s hand, and he bites gently at the ball of his thumb.  “Do you really want me to stop?” he asks, his breath warm against David’s skin.

“No,” David confesses, too open to argue even about this, about Patrick’s awful love songs whispered in his ears at highly inappropriate times.  “I don’t want you to stop.  Don’t stop any of it.”

“Deal,” Patrick says, easing David’s hand away from his mouth and wrapping him in his arms.  David settles in, not caring anymore about sticky sheets and sweaty skin.  All of that can wait for tomorrow.  For now, he’s just going to focus on how wonderful it feels to drift off to sleep with the love of his life holding him close.

[thatgoblin]

Small Town Affairs Chapter 2

Summary: Hazel is an Omega in the small town of Tin Springs, Midwest America. She's trying to live her life after breaking up with the local sheriff, John Walker, and his mate, Brock Rumlow. New people aren't something that happens often, but when a new pack comes to town her whole life goes from a small mess to a complete disaster in the best way.

Warnings: Domestic Violence, Assault, Sexual abuse, Himbo Bucky, Misogyny, will update as story goes.

Chapter 2

The rest of the day went by smoothly. The lunch and evening rush came and went, making time pass by quickly.

At a half hour till close, Clint came back in.

“Hey,” I said, waving to him with a smile. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going. Got our stuff unpacked and put up so that’s a relief. I was on my way to pick up dinner from the restaurant and decided to stop in and say hey, also thanks again for helping out our first night,” he said, moving the lean against the counter as he talked to me.

“It’s not a problem. Like I told one of your packmates, Helmut, we’re a pretty friendly bunch here,” I said, tidying up my area before shutting down for the day.

“Oh, he came by?” Clint asked, his brows raising.

“Yeah, him and I think his name was Bucky. They came by to get some groceries and Helmut asked about a plant nursery. I pointed him to the one on the west side of town,” I said. “Why do you look surprised?”

“Well, Bucky and Helmut usually keep to themselves. Especially Bucky. I guess it’s the small town just bringing it out,” he said with a chuckle as he began to fold a piece of trash paper into something.

“They were nice. Well, Helmut did most of the talking, but Bucky was courteous. It’s not often we get Alphas that aren’t forceful or dominating. Even if they don’t mean to, it happens a lot around here,” I said, printing out my end of day numbers.

“Yeah, I got that sense the other night,” he said with a cringe. “Does the sheriff always greet new people like that?”

I paused a moment, chewing on my lip as I thought of my answer carefully.

“It differs. Like I said, Alphas around here tend to be more old school and domineering,” I said softly, my smile gone. Any time John and Brock were brought up directly to me I couldn’t help but go quiet and submissive. It took me so long to start breaking out of my old shell and still I’d slip right back into it at the mention of their names. “I’d be careful of him. Just don’t get on his bad side.”

“Is he that scary?” Clint asked, his fingers pausing in their movements to lean forward as if we were sharing a secret.

“Hazel, why don’t you head home early today?” Peggy said as she stood in the office doorway, stopping the conversation. Whether it was to protect me or put a barrier up for Clint, I wasn’t sure and I wasn’t going to argue. “I’m sure you need to get cleaned up for your other job before heading over. I’ll finish up your register for you.”

“Alright, thanks,” I said, not wanting to argue. “Uh, I’ll see you around Clint.” Handing the sheets and keys to Peggy, I grabbed my thermos and purse before heading out the back door. Peggy was my boss and felt like family, but there were times that she was different. Mostly when it felt like she was trying to hide something, a switch flipped and she turned into almost a commanding officer. I liked my job and knew there was a limit with her if I tried to push back, so I didn’t bother trying to figure anything out. Some mysteries were better left unsolved.

I drove home to get ready for my other job. I told people I was a bartender at a hole in the wall in the next town over, but if they knew the truth, they didn’t say a word. Probably because they weren’t supposed to be there themselves. I packed my small bag before grabbing a quick nap and snack. It was dark when I left the house and twenty minutes later I was backstage at the Pink Pony strip club. The other girls and guys were all in various stages of getting ready as I stepped into a smaller, private dressing room.

First things first was, well, to strip. I put my comfy, warm clothes in the small bag before pulling out my costume for the evening. It was a black mesh and bedazzled number that left little to the imagination. The mesh kept it together and on me as well as double sided tape, lots of tape. I quickly ran a baby wipe over my arms and legs to dry my skin a bit which would allow for the smaller crystals and stones on sticky strips that were for decoration to stick better.

Well, for decoration and hiding blemishes and marks I didn’t want others to see. I had a lot of those that would identify me, but the sparkle helped cover them nicely with some make up as well. I moved on to fix my hair into a wig cap then pinned it down with almost a thousand bobby pins and nearly a whole can of hairspray to help keep everything in place. I would glue the front of my wig down before doing my makeup to blend everything together. Lately I've been using a dark ruby colored wig with lots of curls, I got a lot more tips with that one than my other neon yellow wig. Coming out of the dressing room, I spotted a work friend Kira who was just finishing her own costume.

“Hey, Kira, can you get my back spots please?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure,” the other woman said with a smile. Her own costume of chains and feathers jingled like tiny bells as she walked over to me. Almost all the dancers got along well enough to help each other out as much as possible. There were a few dancers that didn’t get along very well, but they were at least able to either avoid each other or were at least courteous. It made the job 100 times easier if things were hunky dory backstage. A few minutes later, Kira had finished and I was set. I thanked her as she went to go do her own show. I pulled my knee high boots on, double checked my makeup, then went to work.

The seating areas at the front of the house as well as the other four smaller stages for one person were filled and still there were people standing at the bar. It was busy for a Friday night, but I wasn’t about to get mad about it. The drunker people got, the more money they’d spend.

“Hey, Carrie,” my manager said, waving me over to the bar. All the people that worked there had a stage name, some for safety and some because it was fun. I wanted to fly under the radar and be left alone when I wasn’t on the job. I walked over to him, waving and smiling to everyone that paid me any mind.

“Hey, Nick, what’s up?” I asked, leaning against the bar next to him.

“I know you’re my girl when I need extra sessions, especially private sessions. You wanna take this group coming in later? There’s supposed to be six or so. Includes lap dances and pole work, maybe a few body shots. They’re paying extra for my best girl. You want it?” He asked as looked around the floor of the club with his one eye.

“Sure. I never say no to extra tips,” I said with a shrug.

“I knew I could count on you,” he said. “They’ll be here in about an hour. They called ahead for some reason. No one calls ahead.”

“Great, hopefully they’re out of towners and get drunk easily,” I said, looking over the floor as well.

“Let’s hope so, go ahead and let Holly know that you’re not on the main stage tonight so she can have it,” he said, motioning to a brunette who was chatting up a table.

“Yes Sir,” I said, giving him a mock salute and getting an eye roll in return.

I let Holly know of the update and made myself useful by helping with serving drinks, making sure to give the tips to the servers I was helping, did a few lap dances, and mingled on the floor to pass the time till my party got there. My shifts were shorter, just five hours, compared to others because I only worked the weekends and was lower on the pecking order, but I still made a good amount on the weekends.

A little bit before my group got there, I headed to the room I was told we were using to double check that everything was clean and in order before getting on stage. I was swaying on the pole when the group came in. I nearly tripped over my platform heels when I saw who it was. It was the new pack in town, including the Alphas I had met at the store.

Fuck me.

Thankfully I was able to grab the pole and make it look like I meant to swing further, spinning myself around.

“Hi ya, fellas,” I called, making my accent thicker and my voice higher to hide my real voice. “Glad to see ya’ll made it. I’m Carrie, what’re your names?”

Taking seats around my stage, they all ordered drinks when a server came in. At first no one said anything, looking at one another almost nervously before I stepped down the stairs towards them.

“Oh come on, don’t be shy. I don’t bite,” I said, giving the dark haired man with a salt and pepper mustache a wink. He was dressed in a wine red button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black slacks. It was all tailored to him instead of the usual baggy church clothes most men around the area wore. The material didn’t look like something from Walmart either. As I slid my hands over his shoulders and straddled him, getting a feel for his disposition, the shirt had to be a mixture of expensive fabrics. There was no other explanation for how soft it was without looking cheap.

“That’s disappointing,” he said with a chuckle, leaning back in the leather seat. “I’m Howard, that’s Thor, Bucky, and Helmut.” Howard pointed to each in turn from the blond with a beard and shoulder length hair that was pinned back in a half ponytail to Bucky and Helmut. “We’re new in town and figured we’d see what this place has to offer.”

“And what do you think so far, Sug’?” I asked.

“I think we found a good place,” he said, smirking looking me up and down.

“I’m glad to hear that,” I said, standing from leaning over Howard. “Now, who wants a lap dance?”

“Bucky, why don’t you go first?” Howard said.

“Me?” Bucky choked as the drinks were brought in, set on the small side tables between the seats.

“You shy, Sug?” I asked, moving to pull an armless leather clad chair to the front of the stage. “I promise, I’ll be nice.”

“Go on, live a little,” Thor chuckled as he picked up his drink. Even in the dim, colored lighting, I could still see a bit of blush across Bucky’s cheeks as he begrudgingly stood up. The men cheered as he moved to the chair in front of everyone.

“Now, some small ground rules, boys,” I said, sliding my hand along Bucky’s shoulders as I walked behind him. “No touching unless I say so, ask like good little boys and you’ll get body shots, AND the bigger you tip, the more you get.”

“I like her,” Helmut said as he watched. The music started for me, something with a good beat that allowed me to tease and taunt. Bucky’s clothes were different for tonight, more like Howard’s really. It was a dark navy blue button up with the sleeves buttoned around his wrists. What was odd was that he had leather clothes on. They were tight around his hands and while I usually wasn’t one to question someone’s fashion choices, I also wasn’t complaining as I took his hands to slide down the sides of my body as I faced away from him. My ass was inches from his face, letting me lean over to twerk for him.

It was common to smell arousal, the need from Alphas and Betas and Omegas alike when I gave performances, but Bucky was different. His scent was coming off in wafts, no hindrance at all. It was intoxicating and easy to get lost in. Especially being so close to him. All the dancers used neutralizing spray to keep our scents to a minimum, adding manufactured floral or fruity scents. I was so glad that I had put on an extra layer that night. When it came time for the tips from Bucky, it took a bit of prompting to put the bills in fun places.

“Put the bills down your shirt or the waist of your pants,” Howard said with a laugh. Usually I hated when customers did that, but with this group I didn’t mind. With slightly shaky hands, Bucky slid a few bills under the belt of his slacks as well as down the front of his shirt to peek out.

“Jesus, Howard, you’re going to get us kicked out,” Bucky huffed at his friend, shooting him a glare before looking down when I had squatted in front of him. Slowly, I slid up his body, making sure to grab the bills with my teeth to end with the tips of our noses touching. His steely blue eyes were wide open, his small gasp letting me smell his breath that had traces of mint and whiskey. Had it been just us, I would have been even dirtier, but with an audience most customers didn’t want to get too turned on.

“You did good, Sug,” I said with a grin, moving to sit directly in his lap as I plucked the rest of the bills from him to shove down my top. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning to the group.

“Who’s next?”

Thor took his turn, much happier to have a scantily clad person in his lap. He was fun too. Apparently he was from Scandinavia or something and was new to this type of club. I figured they had strip clubs abroad, but he seemed to be tickled to be in one now. Howard had his, showing off exactly how much he knew about dancing with how he knew where he could touch without getting in trouble. Then there were body shots between the dances that all the men took part in. After a couple, they were all pretty loose and goofy, even Bucky who was laughing and smiling wider.

The last dance of the night was for Helmut and that man was the one I was most worried about. Despite being the smallest Alpha there, the man had something about him that was alluring and almost dark. It was the same with Bucky and when both of them were together it felt like I was in one of those cartoons where the scent of fresh baked treats floated through the forest to beckon the lost ingenue to it. While Bucky had been nervous though, Helmut was not.

He wasn’t cocky like Howard or playful like Thor, no the man was steady and was moving with me almost. I would go to one side and his nose would follow, barely touching my neck and shoulder. His beard would tickle my chest as I peeled off a layer of mesh to let him motorboat me. The dance was intense and when I was done, I was sure that the neutralizer wasn’t working. Just like the others, he got a kiss on the cheek before letting him up.

Despite my fear of being recognized, no one said a thing. Overall the group had a good time, tipping generously as I finished on the stage.

“Now, I hate to say it boys, but that’s all the time there is for us. Make sure to come back and see me Sug’s,” I said, winking at them. They had paid for almost 4 hours and my shift was nearly up, but I would have rather kept servicing them the rest of the night. Especially Helmut and Bucky.

I waved to them as they all got up and left, Howard leaving more tips under his empty glass as he held back. “How about one last lap dance? Hmm? I’ll make it worth your while,” he said. The man had been leaving hundreds all over the place in my room, Nick would understand if I spent an extra fifteen minutes getting the house tips that way.

“Sure, have a seat, darlin’,” I said with a smile, sliding from the stage to the floor. I pushed him back into the chair when he hadn’t sat just yet, earning a surprised look.

“So, out of curiosity, do you do parties?” He asked, looking up at me as I straddled him, holding onto the back of the chair as I moved my body to the music.

“Never been hired to do one out of the club. Usually we keep them in house,” I said, rolling my hips over his thighs.

“I see. So, if I wanted to book you specifically for an event, would I just ask the manager then?” He asked, his eyes roaming over my body. It wasn’t out of the norm for customers to do that as they talked with us, but it felt off with Howard. Like he was acting the part of a customer instead of being one.

“Yup, his name’s Nick. He’s at the bar right now probably, he’ll be the guy with the eye patch,” I said with a hum. “Why are you so curious how things work here? I heard you new people were from New York. You must have fancier clubs there than this nowhere town.”

“True, but there’s a certain charm to this place,” he said. “My mate seems to have taken a liking to the town, especially a certain Omega at a grocery store he’s been seeing.”

“Oh yeah? Good for your mate, though if you’re here and not at home, I’m not sure how good that is,” I said, feeling my heart pick up pace. What the hell was he doing? How did he figure it out without even seeing me at the store?

“Clint, my mate, says the sheriff here is kind of odd. I haven’t met him yet myself, but small towns always have those sort of secrets don’t they?”

“You’re in the middle of the midwest in a small town, Sug’. There’s secrets everywhere. Everyone wants to save face despite hating the people they wanna impress,” I said. This was Clint’s Howard? Did Clint know then? He added me on Facebook, but I rarely posted more than work stuff for the store and even then I had nothing to say that I worked at the club.

“What about you? Do you have any skeletons in your closet, Hazel?” He asked, whispering my name. I stiffened, standing up to glare down at him.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing, but leave the money and go,” I said firmly.

“Look, I’m not trying to cause any trouble,” he said, holding up his hands.

“Uh huh,” I said. “I don’t care what you were thinking or doing, but your time is up and you should go. Now.”

“Look, Clint said some weird stuff about the sheriff and said you acted funny around him and when pressed about it. Why?” Howard asked, standing up as he pulled out a wad of bills.

“It’s entirely none of your business and honestly, stay away from the sheriff if you know what’s good for you,” I said, reaching out to snatch the money from him as he held it out.

“Well, I would, but he likes to make house calls and greet everyone,” he said. “I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it if it didn’t worry Clint and my pack, okay?”

“What do you mean, house calls?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

“The sheriff came by to see us, going almost door to door to introduce himself. Usually people don’t do that unless they’re trying to prove something or if they have something they want to stay hidden,” Howard said. “I was out when he came by, but enough of the pack was put off by it that it became a concern.”

“Just don’t put your nose in other people's business and you’ll be fine. Sheriff Walker just likes to make sure everyone knows he’s the one in charge,” I said.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Howard said with a sigh.

“How’d you know it was me anyways?” I asked as he turned to leave.

“Clint said you had a weird birthmark under your left ear, that it looked like a crescent moon. Also when I pulled up the website, he recognized you from a promotional picture,” he said, his eyes trailing over my face. “But it’s not a birthmark is it?”

“You better go before security thinks you’re holding me hostage,” I said, gathering all the money as well as the glasses onto a server’s plater. If Clint figured it out, did Bucky and Helmut? Fucking hell.

“I’ll see you around, Carrie,” he said, giving a small wave before leaving the room.

I watched him leave the room before exiting myself, going right to the dancers room. There I sorted the bills before giving the house mom a tip and paying the house a cut. Sitting down, I took a bit to catch my breath and grab a snack. Things that had been simple were suddenly getting so very complicated. I had my second job for nearly six months now and was doing fine with keeping that part of me a secret. Things were steady, kinda boring, but steady. I needed that to get on with my life. Maybe it was time to start saving up to move to a new place. Somewhere far from the small town that was eating me alive.

“Hey, Carrie,” Kira said, coming into the room. “Your weekly visitor is here.”

Another thing to just make the night crap.

“Thanks. Tell him I’ll be out in a minute, I’m just changing,” I said, giving up on the last half hour of my shift. Usually I would have worked the floor more, but he was early this week. As quickly as I could, I took off my costume and accessories before wiping myself down then changing into my usual clothes.

Walking out the door for the night, I had made sure to get the money ready beforehand, wanting to hand it off then leave.

“Hey Sweetheart,” a gravelly voice called from a picnic bench next to the back door. I looked over to see Brock sitting there with a stupid smile on his face as he smoke a cigarette. He was lit up by a lamppost that was supposed to give us a good range of vision. Most of the time it just made everything orange and looked like it was from a horror movie. With Brock waiting for me, it felt like one. “I didn’t cut your night short, did I?” He asked, standing up to his full 6 foot four height, to throw the butt of his smoke on the ground and grind it out with his boot. I put my shoulders back as I marched over to him, pushing the envelope of money into his stomach. With Brock I couldn’t show hesitation or weakness, the man was a predator that would go for the throat the moment it was shown.

“There’s your cut,” I said, turning to leave.

“Uh-uh, you know the rules,” Brock said, grabbing my elbow tightly. Growling, I moved back over to him as he counted the money.

“Can you hurry up?” I hissed, pulling my hoodie sleeves down over my hands as I shifted my feet in wait.

“Calm your ass. I’m just making sure,” he said, not even looking away from the bills. “Ah, see, this is why you wait. You’re $300 short.”

“That’s because John decided to stop by the grocery store this week and bother me,” I said. “Per our deal, if either of you interact with me beyond necessary needs, you get less money.”

“Not $300 worth,” he said, looking up at me.

“He was an ass and I’m in a mood, so just take it and go,” I sighed, adjusting my bag strap on my shoulder.

“Not how this works, Sweetheart,” he said, holding out his hand. “Fork over the other $300 and we’ll call it even. I’ll talk to John and remind him of our agreement. After that, if he still decides to be an idiot, then you can give less money, but not till then.”

“That’s not what you said,” I snarled. “I’m not paying you to sometimes stay away. So that’s what you’re getting and nothing more till next week.”

“I don’t know who you think you’re dealing with, but I can assure you that it’s not nice guy John who you can just sweet talk,” Brock said, grabbing my arm hard to jerk me close. “Now, either give me the money or I make things really hard for you at your regular job. You know, the one where everyone likes you enough to pity you instead of whispering about what you really are.”

“Let me go, Brock,” I growled, trying to pull away from him.

“See, this is making the price go up. Now we’re at $400 that you owe me. Wanna fight me some more and make it higher?” He asked, tightening his grip on me.

“Fine.” Pulling out my wallet from my bag, I grabbed the extra money for him. Waiting as he counted it out, he slipped it into the envelope with a smirk.

“See, was that so hard?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Fuck you, Brock,” I said, wanting to just go.

“Oh no, no, no,” he growled, his hand shooting out to grab my face and force me to look at him. “We are not going to start that attitude. Understand? I can remind you why you hate me so much if you really want me to. It’s no skin off my back to take you home and fuck that look off your face.”

“Let go,” I grunted, struggling as his grip tightened.

“Not until you promise to be a good girl,” he sneered. The music to the club was loud, making it impossible for anyone to hear me scream for help or even know there was something happening. The music also covered the sounds of footsteps approaching us as Brock easily lifted me onto the picnic table to pin me down, making me lose my bag as I held onto his arm to try and pry it off with a cry.

“Hey! Get off her!”

Brock’s tight grip on my face kept me facing him, hiding the people who were coming over to us. It didn’t stop me from struggling though.

“This isn’t your business, fuck off,” Brock snarled, making my hair stand on in. John was a bully, someone who could only get so rough before feeling bad. Brock was a fucking monster. Something I’d wished I’d known before being with him. Just the sound of his voice raised and angry had me trembling.

“That’s not how this works,” another voice said as they got closer. “Let her go now.”

“Or what? You’ll call the cops?” Brock scoffed.

“No, we’ll just kick the shit out of you.” That voice I knew, making my stomach roll. They should have all left by now, what were they doing still there?

“Brock just go,” I managed, hoping he wouldn’t do anything. “Just take the money and go. I’ll pay extra next time.”

“Damn right you will,” he grumbled as he let go of my face before backing up. “She’s all yours. A heads up though, she likes it when you bite her.” Brock chuckled as he walked away, probably planning something for next week. My stomach rolled at the thought.

Sitting up, I swallowed hard as I hopped up on shaky legs to grab my bag. I kept my face down as shame threatened to set it on fire with how hot it was. I was near tears as I picked up my bag, my hands so unsteady I almost had to drop my stuff.

“Are you okay?”

My hair only covered so much of my face, but the people had seen everything already. I wasn’t hidden anymore.

“Look, uh, just. . . It’s fine, okay? It was just a misunderstanding,” I said, seeing Helmut recognize me. “You guys should go.” There was a confusion of sorts as his brows furrowed together, but he didn’t say anything. Before anyone else could say anything, I started off towards my truck, hoping that I would be able to make it without tripping over my own feet.

“Wait,” Helmut called as he followed. “Please.”

“I’m leaving for the night. It’s fine, I promise,” I said, putting on a nice smile as I stopped. Everyone loved my smile at the club. They said it was warm and friendly with a little spice. “It was just a mix up, that’s it. Thank you for checking on me though.”

“At least let me walk you to your car. You look shaky,” he said, trying to be a gentleman. I wanted so badly to let him, to have someone who wanted to help me instead of use me, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to him when there was so much more that could hurt him and the others.

“I think your friends are waiting for you actually, but thanks,” I said, my eyes watering as I kept forcing my smile. The last thing I needed was anyone getting involved between me and my exes That would just make the mess even bigger. Worse, I liked Helmut and his friends. Him and Bucky specifically. I didn’t want them to get in trouble or tangled up in my stuff. They didn’t deserve that.

On the way home, I had to pull over to keep from driving off the road. My vision was cloudy from tears and I couldn’t breathe. Things had been so good for me and now shit was hitting that fan. Why me? I didn’t do anything wrong! I played by the rules and got nearly killed only to escape and think I can leave it all behind. Why can’t I just be free of this!? I screamed as I hit the steering wheel, so mad and hopeless that nothing else had work. About ten minutes later I had calmed down to a sniffle and was able to see properly. I put my truck into gear and drove home.

I pulled into my short driveway to see everything was still the same there at least. I trudged in to put things up before bed, almost not caring enough but knowing I would be pissed in the morning. As I flopped onto my mattress after changing into my pajamas, I got a text.

[Brock SMS:] You owe double next time for the trouble.

Fuck.

[chaos-societies]

Episode 7, The Spokes That Keep Turning

[x]

There was little light in the small entrance to a cave hundreds of miles from South Island. Chuck was crawling through the small passageway and already had stains of mud and dirt on both his clothes and his fur. He held upright a torch which limited his progress as he made his way deeper.

“You sure you didn’t want me to go first? I am a bit smaller.” A slightly high pitch voice came from behind him.

A smile arose on Chuck’s face. “Wasn’t it you who said whoever gets here first gets to go in first?”

“WaSn’T iT yOu WhO sAiD…shut up.” The girl answered back snarkily. Chuck just smiled.

He came across a small wall of rocks that seemed lose enough to dislodge. He reached his free arm as to his waist and pulled out a small hammer. He got as much leverage as he could in the tight space and began swinging at the wall. After a few hits the rocks seemed to loosen up and he kept swinging. Lo and behold, the small wall collapsed and he squeezed his way through.

He found himself in a massive cathedral. The sound of running water and the occasional drips of stalactites, giving portions of themselves to the pillars below in hopes that they would eventually meet to join the hanging columns, echoed through the chamber. He stood on a ledge and found he didn’t seem to need his torch as much as he thought as beauteous glowing crystals, larger than the tallest buildings in any village or city he had been to, were scattered all around. He didn’t dare extinguish the torch though as they had only succeeded in finding what the party of two were hoping to find. Only now would the exploring begin.

“By the lords…” He said as he gazed upon the sight.

His follower soon emerged from the tiny entrance and stood up to gaze upon the sight as well. “Whoa. It’s beautiful.” She said. The bluish tint of the natural light of the cave, coming from seemingly unnatural sources, washed away the green color of her fur. “So. I guess we found it.” Her awe was paused as she curled a smile and gave Chuck an elbow to the side. “Guess now that we found this place that means we’re forever cursed like the locals said.”

Chuck gave an ‘oof’ with the hit but had grinned at the joke anyway. “Come on, we only just found the cave. Now we got to find that crown. There may still be many curses that we have to look out for.” His partner rolled her eyes.

The two started making their way down to a ledge where there seemed to be enough footholds to climb down with relative ease. Working their way down, they appeared to be mere ants on a wall compared to the size of the vast open room.

…

[x]

“The cave was far to the northwest of the continent. It was bigger than anything I had seen or explored. I couldn’t imagine making a map of the place. I just made a crude trail on some parchment I had to make sure I got back out.” Chuck spoke to the gang as he dipped a biscuit in some black tea and took a bite. He continued. “There must have been miles of passageways, dozens of rooms and chambers that I was not able to investigate or explore. I ended up finding the crown in a crypt, deep in the cavern. I almost didn’t make it out; it was a very dangerous excursion.” His audience of the usual bunch listened intently. “Not being a greedy man, I had no means to keep the thing.” He let out a sigh and a small smile formed on his face. “Ah, I used to be quite the adventurer back in the day. I gave the crown to the archives in Westport. They have many safeguarded secrets in those archives and I still am confident in its safekeeping there.”

“Wow. Sir Charles, I didn’t know you were a treasure hunter.” Amy stated.

“I wouldn’t call myself a treasure hunter. More of a scholar. There just happens to be many scholarly relics of times of old that may be hidden about.”

“Did you go back into the cave to find anything else?” Sonic asked.

“I would have. Oh the wonders that must have been down there! When I went back, I found that a rockslide must have happened and the entrance, so small and hidden, taking me many hours of research and weeks to find, was covered up. It would take a massive crew to undergo the efforts to clear the rubble. No one other than those at the archives, and now you lot, know of what I found there and I find it best for that information to fade away.” He finished explaining.

“Do you think the other crowns were down there?” Tails asked.

“I don’t know. Possibly. But such things of great historical importance such as that are rarely in the same place. Would have made things much easier back then wouldn’t you say.” He answered with a chuckle to finish.

“So you want us to travel all the way across the continent?” Rouge asked a little unsure about the task if that be the case.

“Heavens no. At least…not quite yet. I hope things won’t come to that. But much of my research to find the crown was done in the library at Smithwick, beyond the Greater Area in the Green Hills. But that journey wouldn’t even make sense for you to go looking in old dusty books and then come back after not even knowing what to look for.” Chuck took off his glasses and looked away knowing what had to be done. “No…this next journey I may ask of you won’t be a simple errand. What I am hesitant to ask of you all, if you shall accept the task, I’m afraid may take you away from South Island for a while.”

“How long is a while?” Rouge asked.

“That depends. Weeks for sure. Maybe months.”

“How would we go about doing that?” Tails began to wonder.

“It won’t be easy. You’d have to do certain jobs here and there for tokens. Beyond Cap, I can’t guarantee a place to stay. And there will surely be many nights where you would have to set up a camp between cities in your travel.”

“You think we could take the Syphon to make things easier Tails?” Sonic turned to him to ask.

“I thought of that but it will surely need a good amount of maintenance on the way which I won’t have a means to do unless I am here usually. It can only do so much, I’d hate for us to come to an impasse and have to leave it somewhere, lose it, or it even break down where we can’t get it back up.” He explained.

“Why do we have to go out and do anything?” Rouge spoke up. “The way I see it, we had some kooks play a grotesque prank at Stark Ruins and now we’re chasing ghost stories. Do we really have to do anything?”

The room was a bit silent as Rouge had brought up a good point. There was no indication of apocalypse, there was no threat that they could tell, and other than some loose connections between pieces of mythology they had no reason to make any further action. But Chuck was smart and he wouldn’t be laying out the framework of such undertaking unless he deemed it necessary, and he definitely wouldn’t be asking them to put themselves in danger and leave South Island out of mere curiosity, despite it being embedded in the Cyan way of thinking. But there was another piece of evidence.

Chuck looked around at the lot and saw Amy shyly staring at the ground. “Amy.” He said warmly. “Do you wish to say something?”

She looked up at Chuck and knew he meant well. She could say no and that would be the end of it. But she felt something was awry. She knew answers needed to be found or else something horrible may come to pass. “I do.” She stood up to speak

“Amy?” Sonic said mostly as a reaction.

“I’ve…been having dreams lately. I know what it sounds like but. They have been…different. They aren’t some surreal haze that you forget about shortly after you wake up or even some fictional scenario or collection of events and memories. They have been clear and almost like a message. All of them foreboding.” She was timid at first but then her confidence overcame her. “They’ve been about the recent events, but because of recent events. In fact lately, they have been about recent events before they’ve transpired. Before we set off for Cap the second time, I dreamt of fire and flood devastating the land. Then we came across those runes about god and giants of fire and water in conflict. The gypsy in the street told me we were special. She knew I was having dreams and I hadn’t said a word to her at that time. I’m think something is about to happen and I think we need to act.”

The room was silent again. Finally Chuck spoke up. “Rouge, you have every right to be skeptical about this. I’m glad you are in fact. So many things can occupy your mind and if you don’t scrutinize them to really determine what they are for, you may succumb to falsehoods. Not at all am I ordering you to undertake this task, by any means. This is your choice.”

“When would you want us to leave?” Sonic asked.

“Not for a while. Before I send you off, I need to do much research and further study the Stair na Seacht to give you all the proper amount of information for your investigations and findings. That will give you time to prepare as well. Overall, so that you are not blind to my goals, I think we need to find the other crowns.”

“Do you expect me to join in on any of this?” Knuckles spoke up for the first time in this meeting.

“I’m afraid this concerns you, as well as anyone. But again, that choice is yours to make. You have your chapter of the Red Society on Angel Island to manage. I would never ask anyone to stray from their duties to their Society.” Chuck answered.

There were many wandering thoughts throughout the room. Yet none of them were spoken. “Can we have some time? Some time to think about it?” Tails asked coyly.

“Of course.” Chuck gave him a warming smile. “I am sorry to have burdened you with this request so suddenly. Go enjoy yourselves. Talk amongst yourself if you so please but rest your thoughts for now.” Slowly, they each got up and made their way out of Chuck’s hut. Once they were all gone, Chuck rubbed his eyes and placed his glasses back on his face. “Chaos have mercy.” He muttered.

…

“Up to the Green Hills. Oh I bet that’d be an awesome sight! Not to mention some great solid ground to stretch my legs. I don’t know about you all but I think I’m decided.” Sonic said enthusiastically as the group walked from Chuck’s hut.

“You won’t even need to do any convincing to give Sonic a chance for adventure.” Amy said almost in a derogatory manner if it wasn’t for the light admiration in her voice.

“Oh you know it!” Sonic responded as he pulled Amy close and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

“I still don’t know about travelling hundreds of miles away on foot chasing fairy tales.” Rouge spoke up.

“Come on Rouge! Even if it’s for nothing, can you imagine the places and sights we’ll see? Something other than desert and this dusty old town? Don’t get me wrong, I love it here at South Island. But the world is much bigger than this corner of The Greater Area.” Sonic rebuked.

“Would you be joining us Knux if we decide to go?” Tails asked their pseudo-foreign friend.

He gave a huff and crossed his arms. “Why?”

“Why not!” Sonic answered back continuing his enthusiasm.

The echidna let out a sigh. “I have other things to worry about.”

“Oh? Like what.”

“Like my own island. Besides, you all have to learn to take care of yourselves. Can’t rely on me all the time to save your skins.”

“Oh har har har. You say that but we all know you enjoy our little scuffles, let alone our company.”

“Your company? Pfff, I need a break from your company on the regular!” He shouted back annoyed. “And IF I were to come along on your strange trek for some dead guys’ busted up crowns, I’d have to make it back to Angel Island regularly. Its trajectory goes along your path up north, depending on the time of year, and touches the Green Hills. I’d be coming and going often.”

“Sounds like you already thought it through.” Sonic said with a devilish grin. Knuckles looked over at him as Sonic gave a few raises of his eye brows which earned him a heavy shove from the Red.

The group came up to the tavern as Knuckles began to veer toward the road to the main bridge. “Well like Sir Charles said, we have some time to mull it over.” Amy stated. “Oh, are you heading out Knuckles?”

“I am. Someone’s got to make sure my goons up on Angel Island haven’t killed each other.”

“I’m sure Mighty does at good job keeping them in check.” Sonic added.

“Regardless, I’m looking forward to my own home again. I’ll see you in a few passings. Angel Island should be getting close.”

“See you around handsome.” Rouge called out to him. Knuckles threw his hand in the air in somewhat of a wave as he walked on. “I think he has the right idea though. I need my own place for a bit. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” And with that Rouge also departed the group.

…

“What do you mean, your turn? It’s MY hammock! If my ass is planted in it, it’s not leaving until I decide for it to.” Nack the weasel blurted out as he swung lazily in the breeze on a crudely made rope hammock. He flicked his wrist to ‘shoo’ off Bean, closed his eyes and went back to lounging.

“Kinda rude to make the decisions for your ass,” Bean began crawling on his hands and knees around the hammock. “I’m sure if you let it decide,” by now he was underneath Nack, “it’d want to go UP!” At that moment, Bean sprung up and sent Nack flying out of the hammock.

“Bean! I’m gonna kill you!”

Bark was sitting next to one of the trees used by the hammock, relaxing as well. Nack happen to land close to him so Bark quickly grabbed a hold of Nack’s handkerchief to hold him back from charging at Bean.

“Bark resting on bark, holding Nack back from attack!” Bean cheerfully called out as he swung his feet back and forth while sitting upright in the hammock.

Nack, now defeated as he surely wasn’t going to break free from Bark’s grip, crossed his arms to pout. “Bean, at least could you shut that beak of yours?”

“howms mhis?” He answered with a poor attempt at ventriloquism. Nack just sighed.

“Kn-Knuckles is b-b-back!” Ray came into the scene from above as he glided down to the group.

“Geez, it’s about time. The guy should just hand off the island to us with how little he seems to be up here now.” Nack commented.

Mighty strolled up. “Give him a break. He’s been alone up here for over half his life, if the guy wants to see the world and venture out a bit, he is more than deserving to do so.”

“But why the desert though? He always goes down there instead of anywhere else on the globe. He just wants to hang out in the dirt meanwhile it’s paradise up here! And let alone the treasure that’s supposedly up here.”

“Treasure you still haven’t found but are so sure is here?” Mighty taunted.

“Oh there’s treasure here. Heard it many times from people who see this hunk of land floating overhead.”

“And yet none of them have been up here?”

“Irrelevant. Every treasure hunter knows where there’s ruins there’s treasure.” Nack walked over to Bean as he was lying back in the hammock, whistling an odd tune. He flipped Bean out of the rope bed then quickly hopped back into it. “But nothing wrong with living the good life up here in the meantime.”

“Is he still talking about gold and riches?” Knuckles finally made his way up to the group. Bark just silently nodded his head. “I’ve told you, I’ve seen every inch of this island. The only treasure here is solitude and delicious fruit.”

“Maybe that’s the only treasure you care about.” Nack added.

“E-enough for me!” Ray said as he came down from a tree with a pear in his hands, taking a good sized bite from it.

“Ray, sounds like your speech is improving.” Knuckles said warmly as me moved over to another tree and gave it a hard smack with his fists earning a few fruit to fall from the tree. He tossed one to Bark, another to Mighty then took a bite of one for himself.

“I’ve b-b-been p-practicing!” The flying squirrel said excitedly.

Knuckles leaned over to Mighty and whispered. “Still no luck on jogging his memory about your village?”

“No. And at this point I’m starting to think it’s best if he doesn’t remember. He still is the same cheery optimistic guy but that event definitely traumatized him if it’s entirely blocked out from memory. It did something to him, other than give him that stutter that is. I feel for him.”

“Yeah. You’re a good guardian for him you know?”

“He’s like a little brother.” Mighty said with an endearing smile as he watched Ray devour the pear he came across.

“Heh, you two are like some others we know.”

“Sonic and Tails?”

“Yup. Speaking of them, some things went down not too long ago. They’re going to be venturing out up north at least to the Green Hills. I’ll probably be dropping down to join them quite frequently.” Knuckles explained.

“Nack has been getting a little irritant about your absence you know. It might be good to stay for a bit. The gang down there are tough cookies, I’m sure they can handle a lot of the journey themselves you know.” Mighty spoke his two cents.

“I know. But I’m thinking the crazy events that have surrounded their recent ventures are somehow connected to this place too. While I was down there, there were a lot of strange markings in some cavern north of Cap that matched some here in the ruins. Chuck called them runes and some other ancient markings that I have never seen up here before. Can’t remember the name. O-something he called them. I just…really want to know why I was alone up here and what happened to the others of my kind that used to live here.”

Mighty looked at Knuckles for a good bit and saw how him and Ray weren’t the only ones with some deep seeded issues about their past. Though his past was not a particularly great one, he at least knew his past. He decided to verbalize this to him. “I’ll support you buddy. Ray might not remember our village being ransacked, his parents being killed. But I do. It’s not comforting reflecting on it – that village took me in after I escaped that mad man’s experimentation – but I know where I came from and how I got here. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to not even know that.”

“Thanks.” Knuckles rested a hand on Mighty’s should briefly. “Oh, that reminds me. Amy was talking about some dreams she was having again. One of them mentioned a man with a manic laugh. Not going to lie, you don’t hear much about humans anymore. Not much left. But your captivity with that demented fool came to mind.” Knuckles explained.

“It would be horrifying if she’s having premonitions about the same guy. I will say…he did have a strange laugh that would haunt me for the rest of my life…”