#it occupied my thoughts during every shower i had for like 2 weeks

[listerbirdloml]

ghost

(for the iwbft mini story thing)

ask and you shall receive. i'm well aware this is super unrealistic but BOOO DIDNT ASK BOOO I'LL WRITE WHAT I WANT

again, no real content warning other than silliness, strong language, and rushed writing. established bicci but its like two lines. set 2/3 years after events of IWBFT. 1K words.

Ghost

"It's definitely haunted."

When Cecily first mentioned a change in their accommodation during their first tour in America, Jimmy's traitor of a brain instantly began concocting worst-case scenarios. They were going to have to camp in the American wilderness with the bears, the cougars, and the coyotes. They were going to have to ask for shelter at a lonely homestead, as though they were simple gold prospectors in the 1800s seeking shelter. They were going to have to spend another night on that godforsaken tour bus with Rowans loud snoring and Listers incessant need to initiate games of “I spy” every three seconds.

His bandmates had tried reassuring him. There was no way Cecily would let them camp in the middle of the United States, and there was no way she would let them shack up with some random family. No, what was more likely was a change in hotel. Maybe even a switch of rooms. Maybe they’d have to share.

Rowan had been right, apparently. There was a change in hotel. And now, the creators of not two but three golden albums had to spend the night in a most definitely haunted hotel, 50 miles from the nearest town.

"It's not haunted.” Two heads turned to Lister as he spoke up. They had been standing in a row on the pavement, all three of them staring up at the building as though they were getting the perfect promo shot for an indie horror film. Lister bushed his sunglasses off of his nose and rested them on top of his head. There were little red indents where they had originally sat. “I don’t feel anything.”

“You don't feel anything?” Rowan had an eyebrow raised, his voice thick with scepticism. “And pray tell, what would you feel if it was haunted?”

“Oh easy.” Lister slung an arm around Rowan's shoulder. “My butt cheeks would start clenching.” Rowan shoved him off, making him bump into Jimmy, who was still gazing up at the building in front of them. There must have been genuine concern on his face as Listers farcing stopped. “Jimjam, seriously. Dont worry. It's just for one night. Then we are on our way to LA. Theres no haunted building in LA!"

"Actually," but Lister had already walked off, and towards the front door, Rowans comment ignored. The two remaining band members sighed and watched him go, Cecily following not far behind.

“You know, there's a way we could get him back for Peegate."

That caught Jimmy's attention, and he was finally looking away from the rafters. Peegate had happened two weeks prior, during their stop in Texas. Lister had hidden on the tour bus after a stop at a rest station and then texted Rowan, telling them they'd forgotten him while he’d gone into the petrol station to use the toilets. After what was most definitely an illegal U-turn by their driver and fifty frenzied calls to Lister's phone, he’d come out of hiding, all giggles.

So yes. Jimmy was more than happy to get back at him.

The interior wasn’t much better than the exterior of the building. Jimmy thought that it wouldn’t be out of place for a period drama to take place in the room he was supposed to be sleeping in.

There was an ensuite at least, but it was currently occupied by Lister, who had called dibs on the first shower. Jimmy had put up just enough of a fight for it to seem convincing before Lister disappeared behind the door and the spray of water could be heard.

With a text to Rowan to let him know, Jimmy only had to wait all of ten seconds before the bassist was tiptoeing into the room and shuffling under the bed. There was a muffled curse as he hit his head on the frame, but soon after he went quiet, and they both waited for the drummer to reappear.

As was expected, Lister was quick out. His was still dripping with water and his usual pale skin was tinted red from the scalding heat he enjoyed in the shower, but he was thankfully dressed. With a towel wrapped around his shoulders, he yawned loudly and shuffled over to the bed. He had two hands resting on the wood of the bedpost, leaning over to press a loud and exaggerated kiss to the crown of Jimmy's head.

“Bathrooms free, sweetheart—HOLY FUCK!” With a full-body jerk, Lister stumbled backwards. He was screeching incoherently, his right leg raised off the floor.

“Somethinggrabbedmesomethinggrabbedme!” He was pointing frantically under the bed. Jimmy couldn’t keep it in and keeled over laughing. He could hear Rowan laughing just as hard under the bed, and soon he was wriggling his way out. When his upper half was visible he laid on his back, arm over his flushed red face as he continued to cackle.

Jimmy could feel his breath start to catch and reminded himself to breathe in and out correctly, but the look on Listers face made it hard to do so. He looked a true mix of dumbfounded and enraged.

“You bastard!” He stomped his foot like a petulant toddler. One hand was placed on his chest, and he was breathing heavier than normal. "That's not funny, Rowan." But he couldn’t hide the slight twitch in his lips. “You're the worst. What if I'd been naked, huh?" This only served to make Rowan laugh harder.

He scooted the full way out from under the bed and flopped onto his back next to where Jimmy sat. He was starting to calm down now, a hand over his own heart like Listers had been. The blonde sighed and laid down next to him. Jimmy turned so that he was facing their faces again.

"That's what you get for the butt comment.” Jimmy poked Listers rib and earned a swat at his knee in return.

“And Peegate. Don't forget Peegate."

“Shut it, Omondi. Now spoon me as an apology.” After a few bickering comments back and forth, the tallest agreed and turned on his side to hug the drummer, who in turn held his arms out for Jimmy, who gladly accepted. They were on top of the covers still, but none of them seemed to care as they slotted together and fell asleep.

The next morning, they received their usual Poor Hotel Etiquette lecture from Cecily.

Worth it. 

[perpetuallyangerygoatmom]

Tw // suicide, eating disorders, abortion

General vent

40 weeks pregnant today. Incredibly terrified, never thought I’d be having a child in my LIFE let alone at 19 years old (20 if she’s born on or after this Sunday); but despite my overwhelming fear, I’m also incredibly excited.

I’ve struggled with suicidal ideation from a very young age, had many attempts. The night before my 16th birthday I had an attempt which damn near succeeded, I gave myself a black eye - and fractured my orbital socket - in the process and spent my birthday in the ER and the next several weeks in a mental hospital. Recontextualizing it later I believe nothing in my life has or ever will be the same since then. (And that the Holy Spirit himself interviewed that day. Although that realization did not come to me until several years later)

It wasn’t until the year after that when I hit my lowest point however. I became even more deeply entrenched in my ed; my bulimia morphed into anorexia and as it got worse I isolated myself from every last one of my friends. My mother moved across the county for the sake of her own mental health, and I just sort of spiraled into myself. Eventually I broke down to my stepdad that I felt completely hopeless and like I had no control over my life, that my ed was controlling me and I wanted to die. He helped me to get on a meal plan, fill my day with tasks to keep my mind occupied, take my medication regularly, and motivated me to get my high school diploma. Without him I would have been truly lost. During this time I also began going to church, got saved, and generally THOUGHT I was doing a lot better.

However it was mostly an illusion of control, my ed had morphed into orthorexia; I would have breakdowns if I didn’t know every ingredient in my food, the exact number of calories, or if I didn’t do a very specific routine before and after I ate. Every day had a specific (self created) schedule which I felt as if deviating from could kill me or set back months worth of progress. I had to wake up at 5:30, make my bed, pray, do a half an hour of yoga and an hour of workouts, shower, brush my teeth and hair, write in my journal, work on school work until noon, workout again, make lunch, eat SLOWLY (it had to take me 45 minutes AT LEAST to eat), do the dishes, go back to school work until 5, workout for about 2 hours, eat dinner, watch exactly one movie, pray, and then sleep. If any of those steps were missed or delayed I would go ballistic. And despite having a better diet I was still over exercising and losing weight. I got down to 80 pounds and at one point had to be admitted to the hospital because my heart rate was so low they were afraid it would stop if I fell asleep. I was also - during this time - incredibly paranoid that I was being watched at all times. I was afraid to leave the house and felt as if I would be followed and reprimanded if I did. It’s honestly hard to explain exactly the mental process but I just thought everyone and everything was out to get me; my anxiety was at an all time high.

Eventually my mother came back for my high school graduation and the idea came about of me going back to PA with her for the summer before I was to start college. I decided to go, and the freedom I experienced, the break from my routine, was very hard to deal with. I began to feel again as if I had no purpose, nothing to fill my days with, and I also started to binge and purge again. Although the weight gain was necessary, I felt as if I was betraying myself and all the “hard work” I had put in to lose. My body dysmorphia became unbearable and I generally felt horrible. It was at this point that I got my first job; it helped a lot to give me a sense of purpose. After a lot of fucked up shit there I got another job. Starting something new always helps me to regulate myself and my eating patterns for a while, but once I got comfortable again at this new job I fell back into binging and purging. I was biking 2 hours mostly uphill to and from work everyday, so I did begin to lose weight again, but just in general I wasn’t doing great. I moved in with a man twice my age and ended up giving him LOTS of money for various things. I felt sympathetic towards him but was greatly taken advantage of, I now realize.

Then I met my current partner. Things moved incredibly fast. Within the first month I moved in with him and his parents, which got me out of my situation with my abusive roommate. And for the first time since I was probably around age 10, I began eating regularly. “Regularly” might not be the right word, but for the first time I began to break the YEARS of food rules I had built for myself. (Drinking regular soda, eating desserts, eating at restraints without purging, eating full meals in general without purging, eating during the day, not counting calories, eating multiple meals a day, eating on consecutive days) and while I did have immense guilt over it, I do consider it the true beginning to my recovery. I healed my body enough that my periods became regular for the first time since I began to menstruate. And within our 3rd month of dating, I became pregnant.

There was much talk of abortion; at one point I actually had one scheduled, but for one reason or another I decided to keep the baby, and here I am today, days? away from giving birth, terrified but excited. I feel a new sense of purpose in my life and a motivation to heal my disordered habits. While I do still struggle with disordered thoughts - especially in the advent of pregnancy and the weight gain it causes - I have faith and hope that I will be able to overcome them. My biggest fear is passing this onto my child. My grandmother and mother have also struggled with disordered eating and if I can give my child ONE THING, it will be a healthy relationship with food, but I know I cannot do that unless I am healed myself.

I’m also incredibly worried at the moment that my child will be born unhealthy, a fear which started a few days ago and has become more and more persistent. Prayer and talks with my mother and fiancé have helped to ease it slightly.

Anyways that is my completely unnecessary trauma dump 🤙

[thegeminisage]

okay i have another zelda ask for you. save for whenever you want a meaty ask. in my recent zelda youtubery people have been revisiting/laughing at that wacky animated series or whatever, like 'lol this was SO bad we will never get a zelda movie now'. which.. i'm not even sure if i want in the first place. but i did think, "well liz could write a good one". so if nintendo kidnapped you and forced you to write the zelda movie. what's your vision for the vibe/big plot points/character arcs? or like. what would it need to be good. just for fun! i hope you never get sick of me sending you random zelda asks. xoxoxo.

I WILL LITERALLY NEVER GET SICK OF THIS. i am literally SO flattered you think i could do it justice. you are gonna regret asking me though because the more time i had to think this over the more elaborate it got. so. (also, i have seen the animated series in its entirety. a long time ago now but i did. it sure was an experience; some of it i liked and some of it i really hated.) also sorry this took me so long to do i took a week’s break in the middle to read 1.3 million words of fanfiction. I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT well i didnt. i have devoted so much brainpower to this. too much brainpower even

anyway. the first obvious and easy answer is that i would simply have them shoot ocarina of time. with only the most nuanced of performances, the most tasteful CGI, the best on-site locations for shooting, a score by koji kondo himself which is then of course performed LIVE exclusively by tokyo philharmonic. this is the movie of my dreams. or, hell, i’d have them shoot, in particular, the movie version of the fanfic i wrote when i was 14, adapting ocarina of time. this was my first ever fic so as you can imagine it was a complete bastardization full of OCs and character death and i will forever be sad it was lost to the sands of time. 

HOWEVER. that’s the short boring answer, and having adapted it myself i know that oot is a challenging game to put into a story that doesn’t involve audience interaction, because a great bulk of the game is spent inside dungeons where, strictly plotwise, Nothing Happens. also i don’t think that’s the movie nintendo would want to make, or allow me to make. i think nintendo would want a new story with a new link, just like they would for a new game, to make it accessible for people who have never touched a zelda game before. (i think, mistakenly, they would want to make the movie primarily for that audience, but more on that later.) i also think that with the major game movies lately there’s been a push for things to be Funny - detective pikachu and the sonic movies are all packed with jokes, and from the looks of it the mario movie, while hopefully less successful (chris pratt...die), will attempt to be too. i also know that nintendo has a habit of trying out really risky ideas that sound bad but then work out well in the execution (smash brothers, to name one humble example - the mario movie will be an exception to this). i ALSO know that the most popular zelda games by and far are oot and botw, so while this project would require a new story i (and hopefully this hypothetical nintendo) would want to draw from and reference those games the most.

so. here is the movie i think nintendo would make, or allow me to make, if they trusted me a lot and were willing to take a few risks with me. THIS IS SOOO LOOOONG LOL (i am not kidding this post is ~7500 words) unfortunately this has to behind a cut. nobody is obligated to read it, it’s fucking insane. it would never fit into a 2-hour movie experience without feeling rushed, but we can just pretend i’m a deft enough writer to make it happen and execute it perfectly. i am going to reiterate that NOBODY needs to read this, oh my god, but anyway, here goes nothing:

ZELDA THE MOVIE (LIZ EDITION)

does link talk?

FIRST THINGS FIRST. this is undoubtedly the biggest question in any zelda movie, right? link talking is weird and not who he is, but how can you have a movie where the main character does not speak? in old games it didn’t really matter that he didn’t talk, but i think botw did a great job in showing us he does talk a little, sometimes, when he has to, without us ever actually hearing him, and that he has Believable Reasons for usually choosing not to do so. so i’m gonna go with something like that - link CAN talk, but usually doesn’t, probably due to some backstory reasons. i think he could speak in the film, but maybe only once - 3 times max, and each time it’s only one sentence or phrase. VERY limited. words are a precious resource.

animated or live action?

i think the previous question’s answer actually takes care of this one. now i LOVE animation, 2D or cgi, so this is a really difficult one, but i think a true human performance will almost always be able to capture more nuance, and if you are going to have a protagonist that is mostly nonverbal, you NEED an actual actor to be making good informative faces. i could POSSIBLY accept an actor informing the animation of a virtual character, like they do for tlou and quantic dream games, but it’d have to be like, pre-rendered, and not generated “in-engine,” if that makes sense, just for quality purposes. i don’t want this movie to look like a video game, even a really nice looking video game - i want it to look like a movie. i think it makes it fresher for old fans and more accessible for new ones!

the score

for sure we need old zelda tunes for this; my biggest disappointment re: the sonic movies was that there wasn’t enough of that jammin’ sonic music in them. so for zelda i think it’d be fun to have someone from nintendo collab with someone from hollywood to make a mix of something that’s faithful to the games and evocative of decades of nostalgia but also FEELS like a movie score. like, koji kondo + hans zimmer or something. that soundtrack, assuming those stingy bastards ever sold it, would FLY off the metaphorical shelves. it’d be really fun too to maybe some really well-known, very skilled fan musicians put in a few of the covers! a video game movie is FOR the fans, so it makes perfect sense. like letting that one guy sing in the sega 30th anniversary concert. i’m not saying let seth evermann and toby fox and david erick ramos and brock hewitt and theophany have tracks in the movie, but like, let them have tracks in the movie?!?!

i also think mashups between modern and classic games would be fun. if you’ve never heard this one that combines the botw labyrinth/lost woods theme with zelda ii’s temple theme, you are missing out! please feel free to listen to it while you read this, because i would definitely use it or something very similar to it as a theme for a dungeon scene. for the opening titles we OF COURSE need oot's iconic title theme i will accept nothing less

slightly related, i think if we need to pick a particular direction for the soundtrack (the way botw’s was breathy and quiet and full of piano, or the way link’s awakening’s was quirky and cute), i’d pick a slight techno/edm direction, owing to the setting i have in mind (more on that in a minute), but something that could veer into the traditionally orchestrated as well. tbh the tron legacy soundtrack was sort of edm and orchestrated at the same time so maybe something like that??? now i’m just showing my bias LMAO

the cast + the audience

animated or live action, i actually have no idea who i’d cast - oot link was actually based off of leo dicaprio in titanic, but he’s way too old now and also that’d be weird. like i’m not the person to do fancasts bc i don’t follow any actors and the like (idris elba could make a great ganondorf though). but i think the smart thing to do for link and zelda would be to get someone extremely talented but largely unknown. so we look at them and see their characters, not their very famous actors who are bound to have the wrong connotation for SOMEBODY. that is very hard! but this is a fantasy, this is never going to happen, so we’ll assume nintendo, who still has me at gunpoint, will take my advice to spend their vast millions finding the perfect link and zelda. i know they are out there somewhere

“but what about attracting new audiences” WELL i touched on this earlier but maybe we need to chill with attempting to grub for new consumers! of course nintendo’s instinct is to get new butts in those seats and make them want to buy zelda games bc they have dollar signs in their eyes (yen signs?) and diehard fans will ALREADY keep buying every zelda ever made no matter what. i have paid for ocarina of time like 5 fucking times now and if they port the 3D version to switch i’ll fucking pay for it again and thank them while i do it! but that’s my point exactly. like, look at the sonic movies: they get mixed reviews from critics unfamiliar with the series but sonic FANS will go to war for them. the people who are gonna show up to midnight release and pay to see Theee Zelda Movie in theaters like 6 times before it releases to video/streaming are the people already fucking obsessed with zelda. i think for this project it would be crucial to strike a perfect, PERFECT balance. if the movie fucking sucks bc they were just trying to use it to sell games there won’t be a sequel. there won’t be rewatches. it’ll just go down as another lame cash cow. but if the movie doesn’t attract ANY new consumers there also...still won’t be a sequel, and it still won’t be regarded as a success. so.

i think we should make up the Fame Factor of the protagonists being nobodies by having the side characters voiced by some big names. if/when people like malon, impa, groose, the sages/champions/etc appear they could be played by famous people. i think it’d also be fun to get some cameos in there - have shigeru miyamoto, eiji aonuma, and charles martinet show up like stan lee in a marvel movie. zelda williams too if she’s comfortable with that! the more the merrier! get that star power in! make that $$$ so our corporate overlords allow us to make a sequel and also don’t fucking shoot me! and the biggest star of all should be...

the partner

if link is nonverbal, SOMEBODY in this joint needs to be delivering the dialogue. i know the lack of a partner was a big hit in botw, and it worked really well there, but while books and games can survive without dialogue it’s much harder for movies - that’s the main method of communicating information to your audience. a good nonverbal performance certainly helps with communicating information, as do clever camera shots and other techniques for dialogue-less storytelling, but in the end, for a mainstream movie, link would need SOMEONE to be his voice, that’s part of why he HAD partners for so many games. it’s an age-old technique in games with a voiceless protagonist to have other characters guess at or describe what they want to say to pass the idea along to us, so i think it could work very well in film too.

now i think nintendo would want to make a totally new partner, since there’s a new one for each of the games, and they would want to cast the Most famous person possible to get non zelda fans in those seats, but again, if i was in charge of this thing i would advise heavily against it. casting the most famous person they can afford is fine if it’s not chris pratt, but we need a character fans already know, and my gut instinct tells me it should either be navi or fi. 

now, hear me out, because i know BOTH are characters that kind of annoyed players initially due to frustrating gameplay mechanics, but the fanbase’s impression of their CHARACTERS in-universe has softened a good deal over time. i think how annoying they are could also be played for a little bit of comic relief/nostalgia, which is good since zelda is often quite serious in its plot, and this character would be onscreen nearly constantly, likely having the biggest speaking role, so you could drop that comic relief in whenever you liked. 

reasons it could be fi: connected to the master sword, has been with every iteration of link from the very beginning and can explain the reincarnation/cycle thing, good way to induce a call to action or whatever

reasons it could be navi: plays on the nostalgia of ocarina of time, the undisputed KING of “best zelda ever” until botw, she could be with link from BEFORE the movie starts and know him a little better, and even express desire to resist the call

being a 90s kid i am favorable to navi, but i think the plot could work with either of them. just not a new character!!!

the setting

i’m actually gonna take a little bit of risk with my setting here and suggest all those flirtations nintendo has had with adding urban elements and tech (and space invaders?!) to the legend of zelda become real. the sheikah tech in botw came VERY close, so it doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch to have link wandering around a tlou-like hyrule, one that used to resemble our own modern urban life, or maybe even something even more futuristic. 

and i say tlou-like because oh yeah i think this also needs to be post-apocalypse. this one is not at ALL a stretch - even before botw, we also had versions of hyrule that were destroyed and/or taken over by hostile forces in the original legend of zelda, a link to the past (dark world) & a link between worlds (lorule), oot (bad timeline), wind waker (got mcfucking flooded), minish cap (hostile takeover leaving statues behind), twilight princess (coup + twilight realm), not to mention majora’s mask being ABOUT an oncoming apocalypse, and of course we can’t forget koholint either. give settings like this or this or this or this some of that quirky hylian flare that only nintendo can do, add some monsters (more on this in a sec), and i think you’ve got a world that is both easily understandable by audiences unfamiliar with the series AND one that is both nostalgic and fresh for old fans - in the same way that botw’s hyrule was.

but i don’t think this is the ONLY hyrule we should see. this leads into (at last)...

the premise

i’m just gonna say it: time travel.

obviously not a stretch by any imagination, since THEEE zelda game of all time involved time travel and helped produce the finalized branching timeline as a result, but we don’t actually time travel too often outside of that...like i said, i want to draw a lot from oot! 

i also want to explore the cycle of reincarnation* introduced in skyward sword. skyward sword and botw are very exciting to me as a longtime fan because these are the first attempts we’ve seen at pulling the games all together and making an entire universe/connected story out of them instead of letting them just float around in the ether as a collection of stand-alones that sometimes have barely-connected sequels if they’re lucky. botw in a way felt like the first proper sequel we’ve ever REALLY had. 

*yes, it’s actually more complicated than simple reincarnation, since the zeldas are all technically separate people and ganondorf never dies, but i think it’s good shorthand and tbh i wouldn’t mind if we switched to “link and zelda are always reincarnated but ganondorf never dies” or “everybody is reincarnated” for the movie just to make it more digestible to the Masses - i feel like a relatively small portion of the main fanbase would complain, especially if the rest of the movie was good. using the same actress for zelda in every timeline is easy visual shorthand, similar to using the same actor for link, whether it’s animated or live-action. it’s just easier!! sorry, this may a bit unpopular to our hypothetical hardcore fans.

i’d also like to explore what it means to accept the call of destiny/call to action and to refuse it. i had an anon once (posts here, here, and here) who talked about playing botw as someone who’d never touched zelda before and they had a totally different experience than me and how they wanted to refuse to save the world, and there’s also this comic! and i think that's the craziest brainiest shit ever so of course i’d want it in my movie.

and finally, i know it’s partially because botw2 will never give us this, but i am chomping at the BIT for some good guy ganondorf content, especially since skyward sword basically told us he didn’t ask for it to be like this anymore than link and zelda did. a lot of fanon around botw2 rehydrated ganondorf has him having been really close friends with a link and zelda at some point before being overwhelmed by his curse, and i like that a lot. because then not only is he a formidable villain, but he’s also a villain with STAKES - we like him and we want him to be saved from himself, and the monster he becomes. 

anyway, what with multiple timelines/hyrules (termina and koholint etc are also fine, they’re still from link’s adventures), it would be cool if the “older” hyrules had more traditional music, and the tracks for modern hyrule were a little more slamming. that’s a little risky, though; might be better to just straight edm or orchestrate all of it without a split.

the plot

so, i’m not getting into the specifics of each scene or how it should go because at that point i’m outlining a fanfic i’ll never write, and i have at least three ideas for how any given major beat could play out anyway, so think of this as more of a general overview.

i thinking something like: link roams the urban apocalypse landscape on his lonesome (or with navi if that’s the partner character) hunting treasure in the ruins to sell and living off the land the way he does in botw. (maybe he has steampunk goggles lol.) he’s a friendly guy who tries to go out of his way to help people but he does not have a Purpose. i’m thinking an early scene where he tries to save some passerby from monsters** and lacks a proper weapon (his is rusted or gets broken), or maybe a bit where he gets caught by monsters while looking for treasure, and again his weapon breaks, and that can throw us into the action. then later he sells his treasure to a merchant, and the people around him can give exposition on why the world is like this (something to do with ganondorf, of course - i’m thinking similarly to botw, he fucked shit up bigtime before he got sealed away by zelda) and how hopeless everyone is that anything will ever get better. again, navi can be link’s voice during this part, if she is his partner - explaining he doesn’t talk much, answering questions on his behalf.

**i am very firm on this: we need either newly designed monsters for the movie (likely what nintendo would do) or a mix of the monsters from various games. i don’t want to ONLY use monsters from botw for example, because this isn’t the botw movie, it’s the zelda movie. (i’m already drawing SO much from botw i’d be reluctant to use any monsters from it at all that weren’t exclusive to that particular game.) so maybe the botw guardians, the oot redeads, the wind waker moblins, etc. i think a guardian would actually be a great first encounter because they’re fucking terrifying and the piano chime coming in would have an entire theater ready to jump right out of their seats!! anyway

i think link should maybe get a glimpse of the master sword during that adventure, or see it in a dream or whatever, and if fi is gonna be our partner she can lead him to it as she did before in the night, or he can go back looking for it, but either way the next thing he does is find the sword and pull it out of the stone. LEFT-HANDED. idgaf which hand the actor is dominant with. it’s a movie! act! i hate righty link >:( both the sword from the stone and the lefty link are CRUCIAL imagery.

ANYWAY, this is why i like navi being the partner character. i think fi could and would come out of the sword, and explain why the world is like this, and tell link what he must do to save it, and beckon link towards the call of adventure. but i also think that is a little bit boring and lacks narrative tension. i think it would be more fun to actually give navi a plotline where she wants to REFUSE the call, because it would conflict with link’s stubborn insistence on always doing the right thing.

let’s say this navi is THEEEEE same navi from ocarina of time, right? that she remembers all of that, and she remembers how ocarina of time is actually the saddest zelda game, and she had a good reason for leaving at the end. (the actual reason is that apparently she had romantic feelings towards link, but that’s weird and bad and i don’t like it, so i am ignoring it, since nintendo also won’t fess up to it on record.) and so now she just wants to hang out with link and keep him safe and happy or whatever. adventures are hard! they’re sad! link has to sacrifice and suffer every time he’s called to save the world! ganondorf is fine where he is, so why bother! (link would not know or remember any of this - obviously, he wouldn’t remember his past lives, but it’s very possible he doesn’t remember his own life before navi came to him either; maybe he was in whatever wrecked hyrule and slept for a hundred years like in botw, or maybe it was like this when he was born, but this is, crucially, all navi’s big secret to carry.)

fi could still come out of the sword as a minor character in this instance to argue with her, but eventually link would successfully be talked out of taking the sword and put it back in the pedestal - which makes the spirit of the sword, whether she is seen onscreen or not, rebel and send him back through time. i am undecided on whether it’s an illusion and he just goes back to relive his old memories or whether he actually for real time travels - there are pros and cons to both approaches! either way navi would go with him (unless fi is the partner character and then i suppose she could) because link does still need a voice!

this will now be a call to adventure more convincing than any possible sword spirit: a glimpse of what link’s missing. the hyrule he winds up in could be HIS hyrule with all the future-y stuff but before the apocalypse fucked it up. the sky is blue, the sun is out, there’s no monsters! i think it could have kind of a solarpunk vibe, honestly. familar landmarks we passed before are restored, people like the ones he maybe couldn’t save are walking around. but in order to get back home link has to find the master sword in this era and put it back in the pedestal of time (or something like that...details aren’t important), so he spends a little time here, and, most crucially, meets zelda.

zelda and ganondorf

i think this will probably be the most important 5 or 10 minutes of the movie. you know how at the beginning of “up” you’re like ready to start bawling from 10 minutes of content bc it was that good and meaningful? we gotta do it like that. i’m not sure what happens, if it should be like an actiony adventure scene or just them hanging out, but even if they span days or weeks or months in-universe we would have 10 minutes, i think, to make the audience absolutely fall head over heels in love with this girl. possibly this is the first time we hear link actually speak - the fact that he says three entire words in front of her is a sign she’s something really special. but our movie-goers need more than anything to really believe link would want to save her, that she’s not just some chick he’s saving because that’s what you do. i think the entire conflict of the movie would rest on this premise: navi representing the part of link that wants to refuse the call, and zelda representing the part of him that wants to answer it.

it might be a good idea to have link meet ganondorf here, too, but not see too much of him, because i also think it’s a good idea for him to witness the beginning of hyrule’s destruction. we’d be due for an action scene, and also it makes the instinct to jump in and fight stronger. but when link finds and touches the master sword again (or whatever) - bam. different time.

i am picturing a non-linear jump through multiple hyrules, in which link meets many familiar faces (this is where our cast can be star-studded if budget allows) and tours many familiar locations, all the while trying to solve the mystery of the disaster in his own time and how he can make it right. it’s even possible that he could flip back to his own hyrule here and there - it would depend on the logistics of the actual time traveling mechanic. what he finds out as he goes back and forth through these various hyrules is twofold: that he has prevented and healed great suffering, but also suffered deeply himself, which again adds to the long list of pros and cons of saving the world or letting it fend for itself.

in this section link also finds out about demise’s curse, and the cycle he and zelda and ganondorf are all trapped in. if the ten minute opener to Old Hyrule was meant to make our audience fall in love with zelda, i think this section should make them sympathize with ganondorf. i would like to show him doing good things and bad things - i want to see the half-feral freak from twilight princess and the remorseful noble antagonist from wind waker. i think it’d be really neat to have link thrown into a final battle at one point, since if ganondorf is a “good guy” it’s not likely it’ll happen any other way and i’d hate not to have one. and of course we’d also have to see demise - it’s important to show that ganondorf’s agency over his own actions was somewhat limited. it’s a gray area because he chose to do some of it but how much choice did he really have in any of it? a scene where he’s sort of fighting with himself would be really good, because in struggling to decide whether or not to enter back into the cycle and suffer to save the world AGAIN, link is struggling with himself too. or maybe something where he’s looking at the aftermath of what he’s done and is horrified and wants link to put him down? idk!! there’s so many ways it could go - even before demise’s curse was canon, wind waker ganondorf sort of painted a picture of a man who was backed into a corner by the unfairness of life, which is again something link and zelda are very familiar with.

and we definitely wouldn’t leave zelda out of these sections! the goddamn series is named after her. like i said, every zelda would be probably played by the same actress, and while it’s always nice to see her, it’s not the same as knowing the zelda we met first is safe and happy. we can get to know her and her own struggle with living up to her role of protecting the kingdom, we can see her interact with ganondorf, and she she can help link figure out how to get to the next hyrule and dodge enemies, but in the end, he always has to leave her behind, and he has yet to find out what happened to the first zelda he met, the one from “his” hyrule, before the apocalypse.

i think it is in this section that someone, zelda or ganondorf, expresses the hope that there’s a way to break demise’s curse so they can all rest. there should be some back and forth on this - it could be possible, it could be impossible - but i think there should be a glimmer of real hope beyond “surely there’s a way!” but no guarantee. i think the triforce would be a good way to accomplish this - its power is theoretically unlimited, but you’d have to unite it first, and the only one who usually does that is ganondorf, and because he’s cursed, it responds to his evil wishes with evil. so it’s theoretically possible but practically impossible, you know?

and okay, like, you’d think ganondorf would think it was pointless while zelda would hold out hope that it could still happen, but i think it’d be fun to actually subvert those expectations! i think for ganondorf, who arguably suffers the bleakest fate***, to have the most optimism, would endear him greatly to our hypothetical audience, and make them want to save him too.

***bro, at least link and zelda get to be heroes and people are glad to see them. ganondorf is hated and feared by all and he doesn’t even get to DIE. he always loses and even when he wins his reward is unchecked destruction. yikes.

the bad guy (not ganondorf!!)

i think in addition to needing to solve the puzzle of his and zelda’s and ganondorf’s incredibly complex histories, and the history of hyrule itself, link should also be running from something, to give the film urgency and action scenes. if ganondorf is the good guy, we need an antagonist and a threat. you know how in zelda ii, all the monsters want link’s blood because it could revive ganon? i think that would be a RAD callback, and also give a bad guy a reason to chase link through time - with his blood, they can unseal ganondorf. 

i have two candidates in mind for this. technically three, because the first candidate is twinrova/koume & kotake. they have the potential to be wickedly funny and pants-shittingly terrifying (they were both in ocarina of time, because they bicker but they also do scary mind control), they are ganondorf’s surrogate mothers, AND they have canonically tried to resurrect ganon(dorf) before. the other person it could be is dark link. dark link wouldn’t be as funny or as talkative as the witches, but he would be lots scarier and it would give link’s actor a chance to do a little vocal performance. (just because link doesn’t talk doesn’t mean his evil shadow can’t taunt him mercilessly.) these are both REALLY appealing to me, but if i had to choose, i’d go with dark link, because struggle with the self is a defining factor in this arc i am building. it’s also a good callback to zelda ii, where he first appeared, and where the “blood of link” plotline comes from. if we already have navi, i don’t think it’s fair to have another oot-specific character no matter how funny she/they would be.

so twinrova or dark link is heading up a monster posse chasing link through time, trying to draw his blood so they can go back to the present and unseal ganondorf. meanwhile link is hopping from era to era with navi trying to figure out what it is he’s supposed to see or know so he can get back home and maybe save everyone. i imagine he’s generally only one step ahead of the monsters, and i think it’d be fun if there was at least one early fight scene with dark link in which link gets his butt kicked and barely gets away, because it would be fun to have another one later where the results are reversed.

navi/the reveal

during the course of this adventure, i think it would be kind of fun if navi, like i said, KNEW what she needed to know, but kept trying to keep link from finding out, sabotaging his efforts to answer the call because she wants them to refuse it so badly. but it was never gonna work, because link can’t go home until he figures out how to go home. you know? 

so the very last hyrule link would go to is the much-beloved ocarina of time, where, unbeknownst to him, he and navi first met. we’ll say that maybe she left to figure out if there was a way to break the cycle, even though we never saw her find out about it in oot because it didn’t exist yet, and though she looked for thousands and thousands of years, she never found one, so eventually she decided to return to link. she was there the day the apocalypse started in “his” hyrule, and she saw that ganondorf went mad trying to resist what demise’s curse wanted him to do, and eventually snapped and idk torched everything. and that means she saw what happened after, and how he was sealed - zelda herself sealed him, just like she did in botw, and she’s stuck with him inside the remnants of hyrule castle. (is it still a castle if it’s all futuristic? maybe something like this or this or this except, you know, hylian.) she’s not conscious and suffering trying to hold him back the way she was in botw, i think they’re both just frozen in time or something, but nonetheless - the only way to free zelda is to also free ganondorf. 

and that would start the cycle anew, which is why navi tried so hard to let them just stay where they were. 

link learns other things about his life in oot’s hyrule, i think. this is veering into headcanon territory, but i always read oot’s link as an outcast; he’s stuck between two worlds, and in kokiri forest he was a bullied kid, and all but tossed out on his ass even after he saved them, and not recognized or welcomed upon his return because of how different he looked as an adult. and he also lacks a proper place in the world outside the forest; as a little kid, no one takes him seriously, and he has no family or adults to take care of him so that he might lead a normal life. people are usually glad to see link in oot after he becomes an adult because he’s rescuing them, but as a kid i feel like most of the time he’s told to buzz off and go play. 

anyway, since navi was a firsthand witness to this particular journey to save hyrule, i feel like you could definitely swing her reading of those events as “the world rejected link and only wanted him when they needed him.” i don’t think it’s true, and i don’t think link thinks it’s true, it’s obviously way more complex than that, but it’s a good way to show that in addition to link, zelda, & ganondorf suffering because of demise’s curse, the people who love them (navi, who in this case is standing in for us, the audience, who hopefully by now loves them very dearly) suffer along with them, and want to help ease their pain and regrets. “why would you want to save a world that doesn’t want you?” is a very good question, and it gets right to the heart of who link is as a person, in EVERY iteration: someone who cares deeply about others and wants to do the right thing.

and i think this might be the first break between link and navi’s partnership - he’d want to save zelda and hyrule, and she wouldn’t. and if she had told him about it honestly from the beginning it would have made a compelling argument, and part of him maybe wants to give it up just because he wants to spare her that pain, but the other part of him knows he can��t, and is hurt about being lied to and sabotaged, because he thought she was on his side. i think maybe they fight about it? inasmuch as you can fight with someone who doesn’t speak. (and see, if the partner character were fi, link would just have to be transported back to the apocalypse and watch zelda seal ganondorf herself. lame.)

the climax

BUT THEN. before they can finish fighting, before link can finish deciding what to do, dark link (or twinrova ig) & the monsters show up. i prefer dark link for this because he represents link’s struggle. link can’t save zelda and hyrule without going back into the cycle (and he’d have to fight ganondorf, who we like!). dark link also wants to restart the cycle but for the wrong reasons (he wants to bring back ganondorf with link’s blood). since he’s a bad guy, he makes navi’s suggestion of just leaving things as they are, which initially seems cold and selfish, look more reasonable by comparison.

so link and dark link would have to fight in oot’s hyrule (classic!), maybe in hyrule field with lots of rain, or the water temple, or perhaps an ever-shifting background like in final destination in smash bros yes i really said that. i think this is the “final boss battle” of this movie - this is an all-out fight with special effects and action and high stakes. it’s possible that link speaks in this battle because it’s a very important moment, possibly ironically to tell dark link to shut up. dark link could even put navi in a bottle or something, i don’t know. this is the reason i wanted an earlier fight with dark link (or again, possibly twinrova) where link got his ass beat, because it would establish him (them) as SCARY, and establish how badly things could go if link loses. 

i think for this fight, link would falter in the first half, not yet settled in what he wants to do, but eventually, navi would do something to help him out - warn him about a blow or take a blow or heal an injury - to show that she has finally accepted the call herself, she IS on his side no matter what that means, and that she’ll support whatever his decision is. when they fight together, they win handily, illustrating the newfound strength in their bond. 

the ending

finally, link goes back to his own hyrule, master sword in hand, free at last of dark link and his monsters (or who knows, maybe they are still chasing him and he only just got away again). navi could be with him, but if we wanted an awful cliffhanger, we could have her sacrifice herself to get link to where he needs to be, and now the enemy has her, and we don’t know if she’s okay. i think the ending scene might be more dramatic if link was alone, but it could go either way.

at this point i think fi could lead link back through the underground tunnels or wherever he is towards the ruins of the castle, similarly to how she may have led him to the sword - if fi isn’t in this at all, he could just have a feeling, a curiosity. but we see him walk through a cave much like the one in the botw2 trailer, and maybe some soundbytes from earlier in the movie play - lines about how there MUST be a way to stop the cycle break the curse, and lines about what a bad idea it would be to try. this is why i think navi might need to be absent here; link alone should make the choice, not influenced by anyone else, and soundbytes are a good way to show that he’s still struggling with this decision.

and he goes on and on, and the tunnels get darker and darker, more and more destroyed, and he has to shine a flashlight, and he looks just like he did at the start of the film when he was hunting treasure or whatever, but this time he’s alone. 

his flashlight beam maybe like falls across ganondorf’s snarling face, suspended in time, for a little jumpscare. a wider sweep reveals he’s found zelda too at last. the triforces on their hands are glowing, they’re locked in battle, it’s sad and scary. there is something like desperation in zelda’s eyes, but in ganondorf’s too. all three of them are all trapped in a moment in time, reliving it over and over, and they can’t get out. and link looks at them, and his little soundbytes play, and then he has to decide if one tiny impossible hope for breaking demise’s curse is worth accepting the risk of so much pain and suffering for all three of them, and more people besides.

close in on link’s bloody hand white-knuckling the sword. the triforce of courage is flickering to life on his own hand, because he is considering making the most courageous choice of all, to face down his fear of the oncoming suffering to fight for who he loves, for what is right. but he opens his hand, drops his weapon, and it flickers out. and you think, yeah, okay, he’s giving up navi asked him to, right?

then link lifts his hand, still bleeding, so close he could touch ganondorf and undo the seal at last, and the triforce blazes to life--

and we roll those motherfucking credits.

the midcredits scene/sequel hooks

zelda is such a complex series that it seems nearly impossible to sum up the entire thing in one movie. i’m sure in real life even the most skilled of editing couldn’t cut this concept down to an acceptable movie time without something feeling rushed. but we definitely don’t have time to set up the problem AND give it a satisfying resolution, hence the cliffhanger. 

after the initial animated cool credits, i think we’d need an epilogue scene. i am thinking something like, maybe we had a fakeout and thought navi and dark link were both dead and/or beyond link’s reach, but then we pan back to the battlefield and see that oh my god, navi’s okay! but whoops, so is dark link. he puts her back in a bottle or something and does a cool villain laugh and navi is like WHATS SO FUNNY and he’s like HAHAHAHAHA MY MASTER LIVES to confirm that link did indeed wake the slumbering beast

things the sequel would need to address: getting navi back (link looking for navi is a great callback to majora’s mask), fighting dark link again maybe, what happens when ganondorf, who has already gone evil this time, wakes up, how to save zelda from ganondorf, how to save hyrule, and of course, how to break the curse (whether or not it’s possible with the power of the triforce, and how it will go now that link got his piece). a sequel movie probably wouldn’t feature the same wide array of characters and settings as the first, but with the benefit of developed characters and plot that’s already been set up, it could tell a more satisfying story without having to rely on nostalgia and fight scenes for as much of its fun. it would also be a great chance to explore the futuristic hyrule which we wouldn’t have gotten to see as much of in movie #1

with all that potential, if i somehow managed to pull off that first movie, nintendo would SURELY greenlight a sequel in which link finally faces his greatest foe of all: not ganon, but destiny itself. not even the games have done that so it would be perhaps fucking AWESOME. but it's also quite likely that nintendo now regrets kidnapping me lmao

in conclusion/tl;dr

a perfect zelda movie needs classic zelda music, a nonverbal link + a funny partner, and lots of cameos. it has to strike a good balance with old and new fans and save the star-studded cast for the side-characters, not the main ones. it also needs to leave room for a sequel!! the most important plot point would be breaking link, zelda, and ganondorf out of their curse, because i am OBSESSED with that. obviously the games can never do it bc then there’s no more games, and nobody wants that, but if you’re going to change mediums, you can use that medium to what it is uniquely suited for - a showdown that is ultimate and final. there only need to be two zelda movies (MAYBE three if people just want a trilogy, but idk how you could possibly stretch it), which means they get to have something the games never could: an ending.

THANK YOU!!!! for coming to my motherfucking ted talk.

[buckyownsmylife]

You and I - Henry Cavill smut

The one where Henry comes over to fix your computer

Warnings: reader is a henry fan, pandemic theme, lockdown and quarentine-ing, little bit of second-hand embarrassment?, heatwave, henry is feeling deprived in this one, oral sex (f), masturbation (f), dirty talk, brief hairpulling, the name of God in vain, Henry’s monster dick,  laughing and teasing while fucking, hand over throat but no actual choking, orgasm control, p in v, unprotected sex

Word count: over 3k, ‘cause I got no chill

A/N: this was inspired by a tik tok someone requested me to write a fic about it. Obviously I took it in a different direction because can I ever follow guidelines? No. I do love this fic, though. Thank you to @lokiscollar​ for giving this a read for me!

Y/N’s P.O.V

Driving to a secluded location to spend lockdown in felt like a wonderful idea. There was a working wi-fi connection, so I could work remotely from the seashore cabin without any problem whatsoever, and the view was obviously to die for.

I did not expect someone else to have the same idea as me. The cabin next door had been occupied on the same day that I arrived, and much to my surprise, I recognized my new neighbor as someone I never expected I’d come to meet in my entire life: an actor. An actor I actually had a crush on.

Thankfully, the situation didn’t exactly call for mingling. I ran off to hide inside my cottage as soon as I realized who he was, occupying myself with fixing everything for the next day instead of daydreaming about the man next-door.

There would be time for that later, once I got in bed. But weirdly enough, that was the only time I really thought about him during those first weeks of quarantine. Every once in a while I’d get the random wave of curiosity about what he was doing - what did Henry Cavill get up to while spending lockdown by himself? But that was pretty much it.

I woke up every day, had breakfast, worked and then went to bed. Sometimes I’d sit by the balcony and watch the birds fly, taking in the scenery and breathing in the salty water. Even as a kid, I’d always loved the sea. It was comforting, so it made sense for me to turn to it in such a stressful time.

Sometimes I’d hear a bark or two, reminding me of the man who was staying in the other cabin, and it made me smile. I always did like his dog, whenever I saw pictures of him.

I hoped they were alright and that the absence of any human contact wasn’t getting to them, even though it was getting to me. I could feel my own social abilities - which weren’t exactly stellar before - slowly becoming decrepit, and I was scared to think of what my first human interaction would be like once lockdown was over.

I just hadn’t anticipated it would be come so soon.

The morning began as it usually would. I took my shower, I had my breakfast, and I sat in front of the computer with my coffee in hands, ready to start working for the day.

Only the computer wasn’t ready for it, too.

“What?” I talked to myself - something that had become more usual the longer lockdown went on. “Oh, no, no, no…” The situation was looking drearier the longer I stared at my lifeless screen.

Looking up at the clock, I considered my options. Even supposing I could get someone to come to this middle of nowhere to fix it, there was no way I’d be able to get it done before work started.

Sighing, I pushed away from my designated desk to call my boss. Thankfully, he understood and I was left to repair the damn thing and come up with a solution for the next day.

My heart ached at the prospect of having to abandon my refuge because of an electronic malfunction. And that is, if there even was anyone willing to fix the damn thing, considering the pandemic and the rules of social distancing. That’s when suddenly, an idea popped up.

I remembered all the fuss a few months back over a video of Henry assembling a computer all by himself. There was no way someone with that much hardware prowess couldn’t at least know enough to fix this simple laptop.

With that thought in mind, I gathered all of my courage to leave my little shack and make my way to the neighboring cabin. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door, and after a few seconds of silence - he was probably surprised and certainly not expecting anyone - a voice sounded from within.

“Who is it?” Now, I had thought this through. If this man came as far as I had come to this damn forgotten town, it was because 1) he wanted peace and quiet and 2) he was as terrified of the virus as I was. So I knew what I needed to say - what I would like to hear if the roles were reversed.

“It’s your neighbor. My name’s Y/N. I’m so sorry to disturb, but my computer broke and I need it to work and you’re the only person I’m 100% sure has been socially distancing for long enough not to put my life in risk.” After all, I would have seen if someone had come to visit him. I didn’t need to say this because both of us knew it. “Would you pretty pretty please come and check it out?”

Silence followed my question and I sighed, rubbing my sweaty forehead as I knew this was a long-shot. “I understand if you’re unable or uncomfortable doing so, I just figured I’d ask. Thanks anyway!”

I had already turned my back to his front door when I heard it swinging open, the pitter patter of paws following close behind. My eyes took in the man in front of me for only a second before looking down at the dog at his feet, head tilted in interest as he analyzed me.

Immediately, my eyes lit up. “Kal!” I exclaimed, kneeling down to let the animal sniff me so I could pet it. My heart stopped working for a second when I realized what I’d done, though.

“Sorry!” I looked up at him from my kneeling position, trying to ignore how awkward it was, considering what I was close to. “I-I do know who you are, I’m not gonna lie about that.”

I straightened up as he kept looking at me in a way I couldn’t quite define. Neither could I determine how it made me feel, just that it made me avert my gaze so I’d stare at my feet.

“So… Are you gonna help me?” He chuckled at my question, closing the door behind him and taking a step in my direction, making me fumble as I instinctively stepped back.

“Sure.” It was the first thing he spoke to me, but we walked back to my own place in silence. He had his hands in his pockets as Kal followed us closely, his tongue hanging outside his mouth as he happily explored the outside for this little while. “Come on in.”

The way the cottage was set up left little space for him to wonder where he should be helping me. The desk in which I had prepared my set-up stood right by the wall to our left, and there he went without me having to point it out.

I watched a drop of sweat roll down the nape of his neck and fall under his tank top, distracting me as I licked my lips at the sight of it. Then his head turned to look at me and I realized that he was waiting for an answer to a question I hadn’t heard.

“Yeah, huh?” He chuckled again, making my face feel warm - an not (only) because of the overwhelming heat.

“Is it okay if I disconnect the wi-fi?” I wave my hand dismissively, shrugging.

“As long as you’re able to fix this, you can do whatever the hell you want.” I got the impression that I amused him, but he didn’t say anything else as he got to work on my (seemingly) dead computer.

Minutes went by of complete silence, safe from the sounds of typing and metal as Henry worked on the machine and I tried not to bite my nails. Finally, he pulled away from the screen and put his hands on his hips as if assuming some sort of decided stance - but if it was a good or bad thing, I couldn’t tell.

“Tell me, doctor.” I asked, pushing myself away from the sofa to approach him. The smell of a man’s sweat really had no right to be this arousing. “Is it life or death?” Henry turned to stare at me with a quirked eyebrow, and in the seconds it took for him to answer, I was once again distracted by just how hot he was.

“Sorry, what?” I asked when he became silent and I realized he’d asked me something I hadn’t heard once more. His smile said he was annoyed and entertained at the same time. “Sorry, you’re hot, it’s hot, and I can’t think straight,” I sighed, brushing the hair away from my eyes as I pressed my palms against them, trying to pull myself together.

“I swear to God, I’m not crazy.” I tried to look him directly as I said that, but was surprised at what I saw when our gazes met. There was a peculiar sense of yearning that he exuded, something I couldn’t quite place but that took my breath away all the same, especially when he took my silence as an invitation to invade my personal space.

“If you want me so badly, all you have to do is ask.” Silence fell heavily and I was out of breath just from his words - not a good sign. My throat felt dry, too dry, so I swiped my tongue over my bottom lip as I struggled to say something.

“W-why, though?” He tilted his head to the side, eyes inscrutable while he judged my question, trying to understand where it came from just like I was trying to understand his interest in me, when he suddenly smiled.

“I figured it’s a nice way for you to pay me back.” It took me a second to understand what he was referring to, and then my eyes darted from the computer to him, my mouth falling open in offense until he started chuckling. “I’m joking!” But even so, the question remained…

“Sweetheart…” He spoke, voice low and velvety as two strong hands suddenly enveloped my hips. “You’re seriously underestimating how hot you are.” I didn’t know what to say, so I had to make sure I’d hear him right.

“M-me?” A predatory smirk took over his face, slowly. I gulped under its intensity, feeling much like prey as he started to back me against the couch. I fell on top of it with a gasp, and another one escaped me when he used my ankles to pull me closer.

“I wanna eat you out.” It was all I got as an answer, but I can’t say that I minded it. As he dropped to his knees before me, pulling down my underwear before spreading my legs for his eyes to take in, it felt like I got a response from the gesture in itself.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I ate pussy?” The unexpected question made me choke on my own saliva, as he chuckled darkly in amusement at my bashfulness. I could only breathe through my mouth when he leaned down to run his tongue on the edge of my lips, slowly acquainting himself with my taste, making me moan softly.

“I-I definitely and decidedly don’t.” He seemed to like this answer, understand that it delimited exactly the type of fan that I was: the kind that knew what he was and what he liked - his dog, his computer - but not someone who was obsessed with his entire dating history, eager to know his every secret.

The longer Henry ate me out, the clearer it became just how long it’d been since he’d done this. It was obviously something he liked - the way he buried his face against my cunt and engulfed it entirely with his open mouth showed so. And the fact that he licked me and sucked me like he was a starved man? This was a man denied of a pleasure he genuinely enjoyed, that much I was certain of.

“Do you like this?” He asked once he inserted one of his thick fingers inside of me, already stretching me beyond what I could do with my own hand.

“How could I not?” I managed to moan a response, making him chuckle.

“Show me how to find it,” he instructed, eyes sparkling with determination. “I want to find your sweet spot.” I’d never had someone I was with so interested in giving me pleasure before.

Hypnotized, my fingers circled his wrist as best as I could, slowly moving him to run his digits over the top of my channel. He knew when he found it because I cried out for him, closing my eyes momentarily.

“Cum for me,” he ordered, and how could I deny him that, especially when he was looking at me with those darkened eyes? He milked my orgasm until my pussy had stopped clenching around him, but the second that it was done, he growled, getting up to his knees. “Gonna fuck you now.”

He pulled me by my hair, making me moan out loud as he slowly inserted his monster cock inside of me. “Oh, God!” His groan had me panting, cunt clenching around his thickness. I couldn’t understand how I was able to take it, but I was glad that was the case. “So… tight…”

Through his grip on my hair, he pulled me to deposit quick kisses down my jaw. “You take me so well, darling.” It was a compliment I was proud to receive, even though I wasn’t too sure how I managed to earn it in the first place.

“I honestly don’t know how,” I admitted, gasping when he slowly dragged his cock out to slam it in me, but I instinctively pulled my hips away, earning an amused chuckle from him.

“Come back here,” he ordered, already pulling me back to spear me with his painfully hard length. I’d have to be inhuman not to cry out at the feeling of his bulbous head bumping against my cervix. “Are you scared?” He joked as I bit on my bottom lip not to give in and laugh. “You think I’m too big?”

“You’re more than enough, I’ll tell you that.” Now, that had his own laugh escaping his chest, making my body tremble underneath his, inadvertently getting some friction between the both of us. It earned me a moaned out, “Yes…” that got his attention back to where I hoped it would be, and as his eyes settled on me, I briefly wondered if I was prepared for what was to come.

“But now that you got all of me inside of you, do you really want to go?” The whispered question made me shiver. I never expected him to be the type to talk dirty, but then again, I never expected I’d be fucked by him, either.

“No.” It was all the permission he needed.

“Then let me fuck you hard.” And hard he did fuck me. He was hard inside of me, it probably would have been painful for him if he wasn’t so desperately trying to alleviate it by frantically fucking me against the couch.

It was the most deliciously torturous experience I’d ever gone through. I had to bite my lip while I held onto his shoulders for dear life, trying to stop my moans from escaping because I was sure that for once, I’d become a screamer.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Henry didn’t appreciate my efforts to keep his ears from deafening. “What’s wrong?” He questioned, fingers tightening on my hips. “I thought you wanted this.”

Confused, all I could think to say was, “I-I do.”

“Then let me hear you,” he insisted. “You know you can scream all you want. We’re all alone up here on the coast.” Well, he wasn’t wrong. And with that reassurance, I allowed my head to fall back and my mouth to fall open, my moans flowing freely from my body as Henry kept fucking me.

“This is so much better than touching myself in search of a release,” he mumbled at some point, like he was talking to himself. “I was so damn lonely and you have such a tight little pussy.”

Being fucked by him felt like a religious experience. Henry somehow knew the map to my pleasure, easily bringing me to the brink of bliss before I had even managed to wrap my head around this turn of events.

My moans grew louder as I climbed higher and higher, but before I could fully tip over his hand curled around my throat, not constricting any air, just calling my attention.

“Ask for permission, baby.” Just the order had me clenching around him, prompting him to release a moan of his own. All the while, I was groaning in frustration, trying to control myself or say what he wanted me to say, but all that came out of me was, “Goddamn! You can’t say stuff like that.” Henry’s laughter flowed freely once more, making my heart skip a beat. “Why not?”

“Because you’re a fucking movie star and I am not up to fall in love with you.” That had his eyebrows raising in surprise, the smile disappearing from his face before it came back as a teasing smirk.

“Oh, so this is a one-time thing.” The taunting manner in which he said it surprised me in turn, so I hesitated before nodding. I mean, of course it was, right? He didn’t even know me. This was strictly sexual and physical, I would not be fooled by my own hormones. “My cock is not enough for you to want to get to know me some is that it?” … Was he testing me?

“Yes.” His smirk only grew at the word. “This is a one-time thing.”

“We’ll see about that.” His fingers ran down my body to graze over my clit. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep it in, knowing I was going to lose. Eventually, as my thighs began to tremble, I gave in altogether.

“Please, let me cum, please.” His eyes softened at my broken and desperate plea, hand gripping my cheeks as he finally nodded.

“Keep staring at me as you cum,” he commanded, still just as bossy. “Show me how pretty you look when you cream all over my dick.” That was all I needed to succumb to the pleasure he was subjecting me to.

I felt his cock, still hard as it pumped rope after rope of cum inside of me, and by the time I was able to open my eyes again, he was panting over me, sweat dripping from his forehead onto my face.

I didn’t have the time to think about what I should do - push him away, try to pretend this didn’t happen - because the second I began to adjust on the couch, he pulled me to rest against his chest.

“Let’s stay here for a little while,” he quietly asked me. “Then we’ll figure out if there’s enough room for me to take you in your bed.”

[exovapor]

I'm OBSESSED with your writing. Can you try.. Maybe, Donnie being a filthy boy being an 'stalker-ish' of his long time crush? Be checks their FB for new posts, saves every picture of them he finds? He doesn't mean to be a creep, feels guilty, but just doesn't know how to ask for more than friendship?

Good afternoon Anon. Here is my short story in relation to your ask.

I wasn't sure where you wanted me to take this, so I had to do a bit of guessing on my part. I hope this something like you were wanting.

I will admit that this ask was a bit of a struggle for me, not knowing a clear direction to take it outcome made me a little unsure of my writing and guessing abilities LOL. However, I will admit to crying along with the characters in this story more than once.

Thanks again for the ask and the initial compliment. I hope to continue to earn your favor in future posts.

· Stalker [noun]: 1a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention. 2a person who hunts game stealthily.

· Donnie stared at the definition on his one of his monitor screens while his various other screens were busy flashing receipts of files downloaded, text trail streams from your phone, notices of any social media post/update/like/heart/emoji, a GPS line grid of your routes today (overlayed over the routes you’d taken previously), and data search hits of anything and everything that pertained to you.

· At this point, the boy had literally every picture you had ever posted, anywhere, of yourself. In fact, he had all the pictures that other people posted of you in them. He had even gone through the effort of designing a face recognition program that picks you out of the background of total strangers’ pictures and, yeah, he had those in a file too.

· He has special file folders that compile things that you like, things you don’t like, things that make you happy, things that make you sad. He is your own personal Pinterest and you didn’t even know it… and maybe that is the part that keeps bothering him so much.

· He sits staring at that word and definition and chewing his bottom lip. True, he knows the word and the meaning, but he needed to LOOK at it, analyze it, mull it over in his guilt ridden brain.

· He just KNEW the word Stalker couldn’t apply to him.

· After all, he isn’t harassing or persecuting you, you don’t know! So, it isn’t necessarily ‘unwanted attention’. It is just…unknown attention.

· Stealthily, hmmmm, did that part apply to him? Well, He isn’t EXACTLY being stealthy.

· If you knew about technology like him, then you would probably see his programs running on your devices and be alerted to his activities. AND, if you shared his love and view of technology, then you would probably be more understanding of his activities and not consider them stealthy…just data mining. In fact, you might applaud him.

· ‘Ok, that was taking it a bit too far’, Donnie thinks to himself and he feels a band tighten and squeeze around his infatuated heart.

· He is almost certain that you would be shocked to learn of his extra curricular activities and how they revolve around every aspect of you.

· Regardless of how he tried to spin the truth and wiggle out of the definition of stalker, Donnie still felt guilty for invading your privacy. However, he honestly couldn’t help himself…at least not anymore.

· He has fought the urge, the nagging thoughts and the burning need, to know more about you for what seemed like an eternity.

· Listen to him, he is starting to sound dramatic like Mikey! What is his turning into? He is losing his rational edge!

· To be accurate, it hasn’t been an eternity. In fact, he has known you 1 year, 36 days, 14 hours, 11 minutes, and 23 seconds to be exact. However, you started occupying space in his mind 2 minutes into meeting you and your claim over his mind has grown exponentially over time.

· You were quiet and reserved during that first meeting, so there wasn’t much to go on. It started as a simple visual interest with a thought of ‘Oh. She’s pretty’.

· However, then you started talking and that changed everything.

· You opened up more and more each time you hung out with their little group, revealing layers and layers of interests and personality. You were fascinating…and that’s when his thoughts about you really started to snowball and spiral out of control.

· You went from being a simple pretty face to being a walking embodiment of everything he seriously ever dreamed of having in a mate.

· Early on, there were three sticking points that really made Donnie’s feelings problematic. 1. He was a nearly seven foot tall walking talking turtle and you weren’t. 2. You had a boyfriend that you were deeply in love with and adored. 3. Donnie was too insecure about #1 and how you felt about inter-species dating to let you know that you had started to OWN his heart.

· Now, thanks to his surveillance, there were only two sticking points….#1 and #3.

· He still remembers the feelings of that day, 44 days ago, when the blip of information popped up on this screen alerting him to the fact that your boyfriend was starting to stray.

· Donnie had severely conflicting feelings bombard him at once and it was overwhelming.

· The initial knee jerk reaction was elation, one of the problems blocking him from you may soon be null.

· However, the feeling of elation only lasted for a second or two before the intense anger and sadness set in. Donnie was honestly shocked at the depth of his anger, he didn’t even know he had that level of malice in him. Had he been in physical proximity to your boyfriend at that moment in time, Donnie isn’t sure that he wouldn’t have hurt your guy…or worse.

· How COULD this guy do this? WHY would he? He HAD YOU! What the heck was this guy thinking? Not only did he have you, but you thought the world of him. When you spoke about him you would smile so genuinely, your eyes would shine and gaze off into a bright imagined future. Donnie was always so jealous to watch it happen, he wondered what it would be like to be THAT GUY. And here the idiot was throwing it all away and meeting up with another girl!

· WHAT THE…(yes, this called for a curse) HELL…IS WRONG WITH HUMAN MEN?

· As the anger set root in his heart, the sadness engulfed Donnie like an all-consuming wave. He realized he was going to have to share this information with you, somehow, and that he was going to have to watch as it destroyed you.

· At first, Donnie had a plan to try and save you both from that fate. True, it would hurt him more to save your relationship, but he would rather be the one facing the pain and not you.

· He TRIED to circumvent the situation. He sent anonymous messages to your boyfriend stating that he knew about the infidelity and that he would tell you if needed. However, it didn’t seem like your boyfriend cared because he sent messages back stating Donnie could, basically, go fuck himself.

· Life had cruel sense of irony, thought Donnie, that is exactly what I do since this moron has the woman that I love.

· So, after trying for nearly two weeks to stop what was happening behind your back, Donnie had no choice but to let you in on the secret.

· Donnie couldn’t come right out and tell you that he caught your boyfriend cheating by hijacking your data streams and the data streams of those around you. So, Donnie intercepted some texts between your boyfriend and his mistress and he then sent you a text, under the guise of your boyfriend, telling you to meet him at a specified restaurant for a date.

· It had been a gut wrenching night for Donnie. He remembered watching it all play out on camera feeds from around the restaurant and street outside. He watched you dressed up in your pretty dress get out of your cab in front of the restaurant. You had such a lovely smile on your face, you must have thought you were in for a romantic evening.

· He watched as you walked inside and how the hostess got flustered and confused by a 2nd girl showing up for your boyfriend’s seated-for-two table.

· Donnie stopped breathing as your eyes found the new couple holding hands and giving each other sweet kisses across the table. Hands and lips that were supposed to be yours were touching some stranger.

· Donnie watched your smile and eyes die…the light of your inner sun go out…

· …and it killed him.

· He’s not sure who was crying the hardest, you standing there in that restaurant witnessing the scene or him back at the lair watching your world crush around you on his monitor.

· It had taken a while for you both to recover from that night.

· His brothers noticed his melancholy mood for a couple of weeks but Donnie wouldn’t tell them what was bothering him. And you stayed in your bed, refusing to face the world, for nearly as long.

· Eventually, the group began to notice your silence and absence, so April stopped by your apartment to check on you. She was the one to pull you out of bed, get you to shower and eat. She visited everyday and made sure you had someone to vent to and a shoulder to cry on.

· Donnie was glad that April could be there for you when he couldn’t. He didn’t think it was appropriate for him, a male, to be your confidant at that time. Especially since he felt so much guilt over having to be the one to expose you to that pain.

· No, he didn’t CAUSE the pain, but he did have to make you face it and he didn’t like not being able to protect you from it. You were such a rare, precious creature and watching you in pain felt like he was suffocating slowly.

· There were some points during those first few weeks that he questioned if he did the right thing, but logic told him it would have eventually come to pass with or without his involvement. It was better to rip the bandage of quickly and let you start to heal than it was to let you linger and drag out the inevitable.

· Donnie did secretly check on you every single night during patrol. And, of course, his surveillance feeds were always running. He watched from a distance as his beautiful phoenix burn down to ashes and, eventually, started to rise again.

· Now, it’s been over 3 months and you’ve begun to be more like your old self. Donnie can tell there is a silent sadness there, but you are able to laugh and smile with the group during your get togethers. And each time you two are left alone, his mind nags at him about those last two sticking points.

· Would you be at all interested in him? And HOW does he go about telling you that you have become the center of his world?

· Still staring at the monitor and the Stalker definition, Donnie sighs and rubs the bridge of his snout to release of the pressure now pushing against the inside of his head. The memories of what has happened, the emotions of what was and what is, it was all starting to be too much.

· “Bro, what’s all this?”, Mikey says standing behind Donnie’s chair, talking around a mouth full of pizza.

· “NOTHING!”, says Donnie, voice breaking from the stress of being caught. A startled Donnie quickly taps some keys on his keyboard and the screens revert back to the standard lair camera feeds.

· Mikey may look or even come off as naïve at times, but he’s no fool, he can sense that his older brother is trying to hide something. “Dude, seriously, what was that? I’ve been standing back here reading the screens. I saw Y/N’s name and that looked like her phone number on that other file…, you know the file that looks like texts messages. And why is there a plotted map of the area around her apartment, her work, and to the lair? What’s up?”, Mikey said giving a disapproving look at being thought a pushover.

· “Just standard surveillance, Mikey, nothing to worry about.”, Donnie says trying to placate Mikey’s curiosity. Donnie hates lying, especially to Mikey, but he’s feeling so guilty about being such a…(inward sigh)…stalking creep that admitting the truth is hard to do.

· Mikey stands there staring at Donnie and, as he does, Donnie begins to fidget with his computer chair armrests.

· Mikey stuffs the remnants of the pizza slice into his mouth and does his best Leo impersonation by crosses his arms and staring down at Donnie as sternly as his jolly face can achieve, “Dude, I’m not going to ask you again. You’ve been weird for months. We’ve let it go for the most part but now you are hiding things from me…from ME, dude! You and I, we’re like peanut butter and jelly, we’re ice cream and chocolate fudge, we young dudes have got to stick together. Trust me, bro, I’ve got you!”.

· Donnie stared at the floor, too ashamed to meet Mikey’s eyes any longer. He gave a heavy sigh and reluctantly started to speak, “Sorry Mike, I…I honestly don’t know what’s come over me lately. I’m doing things I never thought I would do, I’m feeling so guilty about it, but I don’t know if I can stop doing it either. I feel…lost.”.

· Mike relaxed his leader stance and leaned against one of Donnie’s lab tables, “Bro, I can tell you’ve been carrying some heavy stuff lately. You need to let it out.”

· Donnie felt the heat rise up through his body like he was suddenly being consumed by a fire and he ripped his glasses off his face and drew them down on the desk in frustration, “Mikey, I’m in love with Y/N. I have been for a while. I have been…”, Donnie hangs his head in shame, “…tracking all her digital foot prints and watching her. In fact, I’m the reason she found out that asshole boyfriend of her's cheated.”

· Mikey’s mouth drops open at Donnie’s demeanor and use of the word ‘asshole’, “Whoa, dude, why didn’t you say something earlier?”.

· Donnie can feel a stinging at the corners of his eyes, this was so embarrassing, so frustrating, so…..so many things at a once. He didn’t have a response for Mikey, all he could do was shake his head.

· Still with his head hung down and staring at the floor, Donnie starts to hear Mikey chuckle. Donnie looks up to see Mikey’s eyes on him and for some reason they are full of merriment at his painful dilemma. Donnie stares at his, normally, very considerate brother in astonishment, this isn’t like Mikey at all!

· “Mikey, I’m more than serious here, now is not the time to make fun of me. What is so funny?”, Donnie asks exasperatedly.

· Mikey shakes his bald head and claps his brother on the shoulder with his green hand, “Bro, she thinks you’re cute.”.

· “W-What?!”, Donnie stammers out.

· Mikey, still chuckling, says, “Yeah, dude, that’s why I asked WHY you didn’t say something about liking her sooner, she’s always thought you were cute. She and I talk about it all the time.”.

· Donnie just stares at his jolly brother in silence. His mind is too blown to form a sentence.

· Mikey turns to leave stating, “And by the way, dude, stop watching her like that…that’s just creepy.”.

@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl @kokokatsworld @nittleboo @the-second-circle-of-shell

[purplerain85]

Neron ‘Creeper” Vargas x Reader

Words: not sure I wrote it through my phone But this ended up being a lot longer then I thought it would be. 

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Oral female receiving, mention of male receiving, usage of toys, fingering, slight bondage.

A/N: its been a long ass time since I wrote something let along smut, but I got inspiration about Creeper while I was watching Mayan’s the last two days. So to say that I am nervous is beyond an understatement. I love comments, criticism good and bad and what I can do better. So I hope you enjoy.

@yourwonkywriter @hazlenutlatte​ @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @challengeahellcat​ @chibsytelford​ @angelreyesgirl​ @nessamc​ @twistnet​ @tellingyouastory​ @poor-unfortunate-soul-85​ @drabbles-mc​ @putas-in-suffering​ @sheeshgivemeabreak​ @withmyteeth​ @raewritesfiction​ @yosoynicolexo​ @chibbybish​ @imagineredwood​ @blowmymbackout​ @telford-writes​ @my-rosegold-soul​

Dom should have been his nickname short for Dominate! Because that is what Neron 'Creeper' was in every sense of the meaning and word!  As much as he tried to hide it but you knew as soon as you met him just the way he talked, the way he carried himself and you were bound to not only be his girlfriend but his sub who would like to push every single god damn button he had.... which is why you were in you current situation. 

You had met Creeper 6 months ago at at one of the Mayan's club house parties you came with a couple of girlfriends you stood out from the crowd in more ways then one. While your friends wore dark blues and black you wore a neon green mini dress with a black leather jacket. Your laugh was loud which made him smirk every time he heard your laugh. You noticed him staring at you an hour after you got there and as much as you wanted to go talk to him you were pretty shy and wanted him to approach you, but he never he just watched you. 

Then two weeks later he finally introduced himself and when he said his name was Neron but everyone calls him Creeper, "well that makes sense now" you thought to yourself. Then a couple weeks later one of your friends bet Angel that she could bet him at pool, which he lost and was a spoiled sport about. Creeper said he could beat anyone which made you Ha! out loud and he asked you to play which you accepted but made the bet not about money "if I win you have to take me out on a date!" You wagered, he nodded and said "sounds good, but if I win you have to suck my dick!" You acted shocked but very turned on while your friends "ooohhh!" You acted like you had no idea what you were doing, he got a couple balls and he got cocky saying things like "I cannot wait to feel your beautiful mouth around my dick" or "I cannot wait to fuck your mouth" then you turned and looked at him and gave him  a sinful smile and sunk every single one of your balls and Creeper stood there shocked and your friend laughed and said "I have known Y/N for almost 20 years she has never lost a game of pool!” You laugh as you put the cue stick down and said "I will see you at 7 tomorrow"

That was 3 months ago you started dating Creeper shortly after that night. It didn’t take long for you to notice he was holding back a little in the bedroom you could tell he wanted to do more then tap your ass (it literally felt a little harder then a tap) and grip your hair. You wanted him to choke you, pull your hair, slap and grip your ass, mark you. Little did you know in the beginning that all you needed to do was push some buttons and not listen when he told you to stop something. It happened when you at a club house party and EZ was behind the bar and you were being friendly with him Creeper saw it as you were flirting, and when he came up behind you and had his hand on your ass and whispered for you to stop flirting, you rolled your eyes and scoffed at him saying you weren’t flirting and went back to your conversation with EZ. Creeper gave him a look that you didn’t see and EZ excused himself. Creeper gripped your ass hard which cause you to jump a little and slap your hands on the bar and grip your nails in the wood, he told you again to stop with a smirk on his face and walked away.

You stood there shocked for a minute before you recovered and finally knew what you needed to do to get him to finally bring his dominate side out. You had to push his buttons and best believe you would. You put your plan into motion the next day it started with small touches while you talked to other guys, being very friendly with them, three days later Creeper was tense and moody. On the fourth day you text Creeper that you were going shopping

Me: Hey babe hope things are good, about to go shopping at [sex shop store name] to get a new toy

Creeper: WHY????? 

Me: Why not? Need something when you are not at home or on the road.

Creeper: That should be a given no toys allowed!

Me: Oh such a shame that I don’t wanna listen

Creeper: You come home with a toy and you will regret it!!

Me: I am calling bullshit, You won’t do shit!

Creeper: Woman try me and see

Me: Aren’t they Beautiful the purple one has thirty different speeds and the little one seemed fun it can be controlled by your phone :) 

Creeper: Woman you just wait tell I get home.

Me: Pfft, OH OK (insert smart ass tone) off to my next stop. [Lingerie store] which I won’t show you later

What you bought*** 

Creeper was on edge because he kept messaging asking what you bought and you ignored him which pissed him off even more. You finished shopping 2 hours before Creeper got home, you used his hide-a-key to let yourself in and got the toys out of their boxes washed and now they are charging, you hoped into the shower and got ready, you decided to go for your favourite black dress. Little did you know you probably should have gone with your least favourite dress.

You were in his bedroom when you heard the front door open and slam you gasped when you heard the door, Creeper shouted out “Woman where are you!” instantly you were very shy and very intimidated you have never heard his voice like that, but this is what you wanted, needed. Creeper walked into the room, he had rope in his hand and you didn’t even have a chance to get yourself into a “sexy postion” you were stood there with the egg in your hand and looked like a deer in headlights. But to Creeper you looked just as beautiful, he walked over to you tossed the rope on the bed and took the egg from your hand and looked over it, he had did his research during the day and downloaded the app for the egg he just needed to scan the code and get it hooked up. 

He looked at you and told you to “strip out of your dress” you looked at home for a second before he raised his voice and said “Now!” you finally found your voice you smirk and said “Make me” Creeper rolled his eyes at you and grabbed your throat, you moaned out so loud “if you wanted me to dominate you, all you had to do was ask, not be a pain in my ass” Creeper said. He kissed you roughly while his hand was still on your throat his other hand when up your side to the top of your dress right breast then while still kissing you his other hand left your neck and met with his other hand ripped your dress right down the middle, you pulled back and said “that was my favourite black dress!” Creeper isn’t even looking you in the face he is too occupied with your lingerie set, “this is going to be my absolute favourite set, and I wanna promise I won’t rip it off of you but I cannot” he says. He picked you up and tossed you on the bed and got on top of you and said “you going to be able to keep your hands to yourself or am I gonna have to tie your hands.... never mind you like touching so tying your hands it is.” he ties your hands to his headboard.

You moaned “please Neron, please for the love of god please mark me, choke me, spank me, own me.... Please sir.” You opened your legs wider and you could feel his hard on through his jeans. Creeper felt like he was going to explode from you calling him Sir, and said “keep calling me that”. He started kissing down your jaw down to your neck and sucked some bruises on your neck, he moved down to your breast and left some bite marks and reached over to the nightstand table and grabbed a bottle of lube and continued kissing down your stomach and hips and leaving more bruises and bite marks.

He bit your mound and grabbed the egg from his pocket then pulled your thong to the side and licked from your opening up to your clit you moaned and begged for more but he pulled away and grabbed the lube and added some to the egg and to you and started to push the egg in you tensed a little bit “relax baby” Creeper moaned to you, he got the egg in and pulled away from you and grabbed his phone and chair and took a seat and the edge of the bed then turned the egg on the lowest setting and instantly your legs closed and you moaned “sir!!!” his voice boomed “open your legs!” after a couple of breaths you managed to open them again, but they closed again the moment he upped the vibrations a couple notches. He huffed and got up and walked to the closet “where are you going? Sir please don’t leave” you whined. 

Creeper walked back in with a bar with cuffs on the end and walked back over to you he says “sorry” and rips your thong off and kisses your knees and your first orgasm hits you, then pushes your legs apart and attaches the bar to your ankles and opens the bar a bit so you cannot close your legs. Then returns to the chair and continues to up then lower the vibe until you cum two more times. Then he gets up removes his clothes grabs the 30 speed vibrator that you bought today and removes the spreader bar set the vibe to medium and brings two fingers to your clit and you jump and moan.

Creeper moved his fingers down to your opening and brought his face down to your core and inserted his fingers the same time he attached his mouth to your clit and swirled, flicked, pressed his tongue to you clit and moaned at the taste of your juices he slowly moved his fingers in and out of you. You moaned that you were about to cum he says “cum on my face, wet my beard” you cum hard and lose your breath for a couple seconds. Creeper moves up your body to your covered breast he pulls down the cups to revel your nipples and while he starts sucking on your nipples his fingers were still moving in and out of you. He kisses you once he pulls his fingers from you and puts them in your mouth and you suck them clean and moan around them, then he moves to his knees and slams into you and gives you half a second to adjust to him before he starts thrusting, you can feel yourself getting close and tell him you need to cum, he says “no not yet, hold it for me” you try and manage to breath a little then shriek when you feel the purple vibrator attach to your clit and start to pull on the ropes and beg “Neron Please please untie my wrist please Oh Dear God PLese!!!!!!” Creeper leans over and unties your hands and one instantly goes to his wrist with the vibrator on your clit to ground yourself and the other hand went to the one on your stomach and you laced your fingers with his and you are chanting his name and begging to cum. 

He tosses the purple vibe pulls out just long enough to pull the vibe out and tosses that as well then pushes back into and drops down to your face and grips your neck and your hair and kisses the air out of your lugs then bites your lower lips and says “I need you to cum, baby cum for me, cum now” he is thrusting his hips so hard then you cum hard so hard that you grip Creeper so hard that he cannot pullout, he loves cumming inside you so he isn’t concerned he cums, and again tries to pullout and again he cannot he looks at you and you look so fucked out he kisses your lips and cheeks, forehead. “Can you lay down on me please, you won’t crush me and clearly she is not ready to let you go just yet” you say. He lays down and snuggles close with you and says “I love you”  you smile and rub his head and say “I love you too”

The End

[luckyasfuck]

maybe i just wanna be yours [k. bakugou]

A CAMBOY AU SERIES - PARTS 1, 2, [3], 4, 5

pairing // katsuki x female reader

tw // cussing, smut

warnings for this part // (kinda?) mutual masturbation

theme // enemies to lovers au, camboy!katsu au, college student!katsu and reader au, no quirk au

keys // y/n, l/n, h/c

words // 1.8k

a/n // pt. 4 will be written at 100 likes and posted at 5-10 reblogs :). i’m glad ya’ll are enjoying it, send criticism and/or ideas in my inbox.

previous part I masterlist

y/n’s head was no longer cloudy.

it scared her at first,  her twitter username and bio must have gave it all away. part of her hoped that katsuki wouldn’t notice the notification, and if he did, well she hopes he’d be too dumb or oblivious to know it was her. but of course, bakugou fucking katsuki wasn’t like that. y/n would know, especially when she woke up him following her back.

fucking son of a bitch.

it was very obvious that it was katsuki. from his voice during lives to his demeanor with his posts: reserved. it was a bitch to think about, no matter what y/n did it was all that occupied her mind. she was aware of the comments she had left on his last live, her other hand too busy pumping her fingers in and out of her pussy to make more than two. that’s what bothered her. not only did she get off to her rival of all people, she did it twice. twice!

she thought about it the whole morning as she reached UA. a person came from behind and bumped her shoulder, rushing to the group of people crowding the main gate. y/n knotted her eyebrows, her mind was too all over the place to know what they could have been fussing about.

the crowd completely blocked the gate and she sighed, opting to take another route until someone grabbed her arm. thinking it was a teacher or a student, she turned around with a smile.

what the fuck.

katsuki stood there gripping her arm and her heart dropped. she yanks his hand away and glared at him, goddamn if looks could kill katsuki would’ve made it to heaven right about now. she stared at him with so much intensity, it almost looked like she was gonna go crazy over the fact that he stopped her, let alone even touch her.

fuck, that’s hot. katsuki gulped and mentally slapped himself after the thought. “don’t let the teachers see you-” he whispered, looking around. y/n sighed, “too late.” she looked behind him where their Biology professor stood with a smile.

“good morning, kids! i’m glad i found you two together, which is um... quite new, don’t you think?” the old woman greeted. katsuki rolled his eyes before facing her, standing beside y/n.

the h/c-haired girl didn’t like being near him at all, he had this weird aura and she didn’t know what his intentions were at all. and him approaching her for the first time without being forced by a professor after the shenanigans of last night? way too timed to be a coincidence, though she wishes it was. 

“if you don’t know yet, our school’s competing with others schools with this little competition our school made.” the old woman got straight to the point. “the competition is that weekly for this month, a duo would take a quiz on a specific subject together. the subject changes every week and the questions get harder and harder! the 5 duos with the lowest scores are eliminated. it’s said on the board right there!” she pointed to where the students crowded.

“um, okay...? why are you telling us this then?” y/n questioned, adjusting her grip on her bag as the professor smiled again whilst katsuki breathed out a loud sigh. 

“i want you both to be the duo that represents our school!”

“miss-” katsuki started, but got cut off. “don’t you think we’re the worst duo for this? i mean,” y/n laughed sarcastically. “you know we hate each other, everyone fucking knows tha-”

“language, miss l/n.” the professor’s sternly scolded and y/n flinches a bit at the change of mood. “yes, ma’am.” the younger girl looked down on her shoes. “i think it’s a good opportunity for the two of you,” the old woman pointed to the two students. “to get along. you two are really gifted, and i don’t want our school to lose this or get humiliated just because you two have beef with each other for reasons unknown.”

y/n was sweating under her jacket and she gulped as the woman walked away, letting them know her decision was final. katsuki breathed out a deep sigh, face-palming. “what are we gonna do now? knowing that bitch, she’ll tell everyone we said yes.”

y/n didn’t bother to argue with the blonde, she knew he was right. the crowd near the gate starts to disappear and she leaves without responding to katsuki. she doesn’t know where the fuck he got the confidence to talk to her so casually. more like she wished she didn’t know.

she knew that he knew.

and he knew that she knew too. 

so simple yet so complicated.

class dragged out and y/n hasn’t spared a single glance at katsuki. she’s done this almost everyday since she met him, so it was easy to do. if only he’d stop staring into her soul, knowing she can see him in the corner of her eye. 

katsuki’s always liked to stare, though he had nothing to stare at. and now he does, even he doesn’t like how much he’s staring. he’d snap out of it, curse himself and y/n too while he’s at it, then get caught in a daze while staring at her again. 

multiple teachers approached them and individually asked them about the competition, their answers were the same the whole time, a bland “yeah, we’re competing as the duo.”

the students sat in their last class, blabbering around and not caring anymore. it was the last class, after all. they were tired and wanted to go home, but of course, they can’t. at least not yet. y/n didn’t feel like listening, she was tired too. doodling in her notebook, her heart drops when the professor calls her name. fuck, i don’t know the answe-

“oh. and mister bakugou too. i think it’s for the competition, the principal wants you two.” the old male lets out an intrigued hum. “don’t you guys hate each other?” y/n and katsuki walked out the room silently, filling the room with embarrassment on the professors side. 

the female walked on the other end of the corridor, she didn’t like katsuki at all. his mere presence makes her gag, and she knows it’s the same for him too. that’s why they opted to stay as far away from each other as possible.

the ash blonde walks into the principal’s office with y/n hot on his trail. “take a seat.” the principal said, not looking up from his paperwork. “listen, you two. i heard a lot from teachers about how you compete with each other, but the both of you are the smartest duo here. all i want is for you two to study together and pass the quizzes as best as you can. you don’t even have to get along! and your grades will be perfect A+’s for the whole month, and if you win, maybe i’ll extend to a month more.”

y/n and katsuki’s eyes widened at the offer, it was so tempting. and education always came first before pride anyway. “fine, i’ll do it.” y/n was the first to speak while katsuki just nodded his head.

“it’s settled then.”

[ timeskip ]

y/n plopped down on her bed. the two of them got sent home early and were forced to share socials with each other. they were also granted permission to use the library whenever they wanted, and were given the schedule to study together from their last two classes until whenever they liked. and before going their separate ways, she told katsuki to text her a plan if he had one.

her phone dings and she automatically assumed it was him. and it was. just... a little more lewd. definitely not what she was expecting.

y/n cussed, “since when the fuck did i let this stupid fucking site give me notifications?” katsuki’s heavy breathing and occasional grunts boomed through her speaker and she hurried to click off it, until her eyes landed on his cock.

from what seemed like it, he had already cum once, the white liquid dripping from his slit down his lenght. y/n can’t seem to tear her eyes from the way he stroked his cock, so gentle yet so rushed, so... satisfying.

she shakes her head and kicks herself out of her absurd train of thoughts, thumb hovering over the ‘X’ on the top left of the site. “have you joined the live, pretty face?” she flinches when she heard his raspy voice, thighs unconciously rubbing together and panties already soaked. 

“i hope you have, fuck. been thinking about you all day, mhmm~ why don’t you drop your little comments for me?” she could practically hear the smirk in his words, and it irritated her. but fuck, if he wasn’t so attractive. his perfectly sculpted body, his voice, and that pretty cock. it was that fucking cock.

“are you touching yourself, pretty face? you better. this live’s all for you.” katsuki moaned out, stroking himself faster. y/n watched as the chat went crazy, all of them confessing their sins to him like he was some sort of God.

and maybe he was, cause she found herself running a finger through her wet folds as she watched the camboy play with his tip. she shoves a finger inside, moaning with him before moving in and out parallel to his strokes. 

katsuki comes again, his strokes coming to a half. he pants before smirking, “pretty face, lookie here.” he shows a fleshlight to the camera, his tip prodding at the toys entrance. y/n slowly adds another finger as he sunk the toy down onto his cock, both of them moaning.

they both fuck themselves into oblivion while thinking of each other, katsuki’s hips violently fucking into the toy as he hissed, “fuck, i bet your pussy feels a lot better.” y/n felt her cunt clench around her finger at the statement as she started to rub her clit as well. 

she orgasms a little bit before katsuki shot his load into the toy, both their movements halting as they tried to catch their breath. she types in a comment before finally exiting the site, feeling slightly disgusted of what she just did. she shudders and opts on taking a shower before napping.

“you dirty little thing.”

katsuki felt his cock twitch at y/n’s comment. he ended the live right after, knowing she probably left already. the notifications for money he hoarded sat heavy on his account and he smiled, cleaning himself up after. the image of her with her legs open, her fingers buried deep in her cunt and her moaning uncontrollably was all that filled katsuki’s brain.

and he fucking hates it. he hates how much power the desires of his cock had over him when he was horny.

and the only desire his cock had was her.

next part I masterlist

taglist:

@princesspeach-00 @tamakisropebunny @bakugous-mamas @ll379333 @j1-914 @gazelle-des-pres @trashpandainahat @dickinson-67 @victoriaestein @amelie-chan @your-worst-obsession [ cannot tag last two ]

[forcefulkitten]

peeping your neediness

[uvogin x fem! reader]

summary: Uvogin walks in on you pleasuring yourself and proceeds to give you what you truly needed.

warnings: 18+, nsfw, oral sex

word count: 1,573

After a long day of work, being home with a cup of tea and your favorite show after a shower was almost the best you could ask for. Almost, because the best would’ve been if your boyfriend Uvogin made it back from his work trip yet. His schedule was nothing ordinary, leaving him gone for months, weeks, days, who knows anymore. He made sure to call you every few days, since texting really wasn’t his thing. Hell, the man only calls because you text him asking for any sort of signal that he’s alright.

You found yourself thinking of all the ways you missed Uvo. How his muscles flexed with every movement he made. The way he smiled at you with feral intent whenever he needed you. The feeling of his hair in between your fingers. How his lips hit yours with such fiery passion, leaving your lips red and swollen. The husky breaths and moans he made into your ear while fucking into you with resistance so he doesn’t break you in half. How he cares for you afterwards with gentleness that you wouldn’t think is capable from a man of his size. Fuck, you missed him more than you thought.

Your neediness taking over, you powered off your television and made your way to your bedroom. Settling in, you decided to change into one of Uvo’s tank tops. Needless to say its more of a dress on you, but his scent lingered on this one shirt you decided not to wash so you can cuddle it when you miss him. 

Bringing your fingers between your legs, even just thinking about Uvo made you soaking wet. You pressed gently onto your clit, sighing when even the smallest bit of pressure made you sensitive. You began pumping a finger in and out of your sopping pussy, relishing in the way that your walls clenched around your finger. Sighing softly, you added another finger and fucked yourself with a need that wouldn’t be satisfied on your own. Now bringing your finger back to your clit, you played with your swollen bud while bringing your other hand down and pumping your fingers in and out of your hole at the same time. You were so close, calling out Uvo’s name like your life depended on it. Continuing your ministrations, your orgasm hit you in a wave of hot pleasure that left you a panting mess. It had been so long since you touched yourself, always opting to wait until Uvogin was home to give you everything your body needed. Laying spread out on the bed, you turned onto your side facing the wall with your hands between your thighs, just resting between your sex for the warmth it provided. You planned on getting up and taking another shower once your high wore off.

“Missed me that much?” Uvo chuckled.

His voice made you spring up into sitting position. When did he get here? How didn’t he make any noise? Had you been so occupied that you didn’t hear this giant trotting through your apartment?

“You fucking creep! You could’ve announced yourself and helped me out instead of just standing there!” You jumped straight into his arms and wrapped your legs around his torso, bringing him into a bruising kiss. “And interrupt that show you put on for me? Pfft, never.” He retorted. You really missed him, and he felt your need radiating off your body. You two made out sloppily, ready to explore each others bodies after being apart so long.

Holding you up with one arm, Uvo brings his other hand down to touch your folds, still wet but not yet ready to take him. He bites your lip and you let out a hiss, begging him to stop being a tease and he slides two of his fingers into you. You tangle your fingers into his hair, bringing your mouth to his neck and leave open mouth kisses all over. This drives Uvo mad, you know that he loves the way you pay attention to him even when your mind is clouded from the hot sensations coursing through your body. You’re bouncing up and down onto his two fingers, his name slipping from your lips into his ear. “Uvo, please, please ruin me.”

No need to ask twice. Uvo’s no scholar, but the man isn’t dumb at all, and he always meets your demands. You never had to ask him more than once about anything. The man loves you more than he loves himself, and he showed you this better than he could tell you.

Placing you onto the bed lightly, Uvo pulled you by your legs until your pussy was on the edge of the bed. He ducked his head in between your legs and began lapping at your wet tavern. Already sensitive from your previous orgasm, Uvo knew he needed to take it easy with you. He sucked at your clit with soft precision, then brought his tongue to lick at your hole. The pace he set was gentle but still so delicious. Your fingers grabbed at the sheets of the bed, grasping for any semblance of reality. “Fuck, you’re so wet.” He hissed out against your pussy and it sent vibrations straight through your body. Uvo brought two fingers into your hole, pumping in and out slowly. He focused his tongue and lips on your swollen bud, and you were so close to your second orgasm. Your heavy panting and bucking against his mouth told him the same, and he moved his face from between your legs before allowing you to cum. “No, sorry kitten. You’ve already cum by your own hands, so now you’ll cum on my cock.”

You whined as Uvo picked you up from the bed, plopping himself down with you on his lap. He brought your legs onto his shoulders, gripping you by your hips and holding all of your body weight in his hands like if you weighed nothing. Lining his cock up with your entrance, Uvo sunk you down onto his length painfully slow, allowing you to adjust to his sheer size. Giving a few tentative bounces, Uvo began picking up the pace. You grasped his forearms, trying to balance yourself, knowing regardless he is strong enough to hold you on his own. Squelching noises and loud moans from the both of you filled the room and his thrusts became harder as your noises spurred him on. You felt your orgasm building in your core because his cock hit your G spot beautifully in this position. Uvo bucked into you relentlessly, making you scream out as tears began to well in your eyes. He took notice of this and slowed down, asking “Baby, is it too much? I’ll slow down, I’m sorry princess.” You felt your heart warm at the fact that he was so caring even during these intense moments, you whined “I’m fine, I love you Uvogin. Use me, please just use me.” His eyes were mesmerized by your boobs bouncing up and down and the way your pussy practically sucked him back in when he pulled out. You made him into even more of a feral man and your desire for him turned him into putty in your hands, his main goal always to please you and have you all fucked out. 

He let go of your hip with one of his hands, wiping the tears that fell down your face. Bringing you into a searing kiss, your tongues fought for dominance that Uvo let you have because he was too busy fucking into you. You tangled your fingers into his hair, one of his arms on your hip, the other holding your face into his neck while he bounces you on his cock. His breathing was becoming erratic, you knew he was close. The pleasure that was building in your body was consuming all of your senses. You began fucking yourself onto him with any strength you could muster and he grunted your name out in between breaths. This sent you over the edge, your cum releasing all over his length as he tried his best to continue his ministrations even though you were clamping down on his cock so beautifully.

“I want you to cum for me Uvo, stuff me full of your seed, please daddy.” You whispered into his ear, and he turned his head to kiss your lips and then bit down to tease you. A few more heavy thrusts and he pulled you all the way off him before slamming you fully onto his cock, rolling his hips while his cock shoots thick ropes of cum into you. The feeling of his orgasm inside of you made you moan and whine while Uvo was grunting and breathing heavily. He kept you onto his softening cock, which was still huge even when flaccid. Uvo laid back, opting for some cockwarming. You were sure that there would be a round 2 since he just got back home, and you didn’t mind at all. He reached for your blanket and draped it over your body and you began to fall asleep on top of him. His heartbeat and scent always brought you comfort and lulled you into a slumber. Uvogin made sure to stay up until you were asleep before whispering “I love you more…”He definitely wanted a round 2, but he’d grant you both a nap first.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The Regular (Part 1.5): Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: Geto is back for more, but innocence and sincerity isn’t something you’re used to.

word count: 2k

tw: none 

a/n: This is just a brief interlude between part 1 and part 2! It will get steamier in part 2 for sure. 

The squeal of the hinges alerts you to someone’s presence in the dressing room, and you look up from your phone and into the blue eyes of Mrs. Lampton. She’s wearing a shit-eating grin and holding out a wad of cash, obviously very excited to speak to you. “This is for you! VIP room tonight. You know the deal.” Before you can stretch out your hand to warily accept the cash, you raise a brow in question. “Oh, it’s the man from last night.” She answers quickly, a blush fanning across her fair cheeks. 

Geto. 

You stand to take the cash from the manager, noting the thickness of the stack and the way that the bills were pressed smooth - not crumpled like the ones thrown at you in haste. Someone had counted this money and stacked it with you in mind. 

“This is--” 

“It’s more than enough to cover the nightly operating fees for a week,” Mrs. Lampton waves away your observation, disappearing as soon as she finishes speaking. The hunter green two-piece you wore was no longer appropriate, and you take a look at the small offerings of clothing you had at your disposal. He had already seen the red lingerie, and that left you with the only other thing you had bothered to bring: a baby blue silk slip dress. Sliding the flimsy thing over your head, you think about his intentions tonight. Would Geto touch you? Would there be any sign of his arousal beyond the uncomfortable shifting? Or would he perform the “I’m going to save you from this place” act? You didn’t want to be saved from the club, that much you knew. The club had saved you. This environment provided you a well-needed distraction from the constant chaos that was your daytime life. Compared to that, the strip club was absolute heaven, and nothing would change that. Not even the wads of cash you were bound to receive from the mysterious man. 

It’s the main reason why you empathize with your clients: escapism isn’t just a luxury they could afford. It’s one you desperately need, and they just bring the money for you to enjoy the feeling of being someone else for a change. On stage, you were someone everyone looked at with lust and desire. The attention on you there was rarely negative and if you could trade your daytimes for your night times, you would do it in a heartbeat. 

Before you can slip back into your true self, you look at yourself in the mirror and fluff your natural hair. No wigs, that’s one of Geto’s rules. You take one more look at your reflection, decide it’s enough, and slide the thin black robe over yourself before exiting. 

“Come here.” The request is met with immediate obedience, and you feel your legs magnetically pulled to the man sitting cross-legged on the couch, dressed in a dark blue shirt and black slacks. The top three buttons on his shirt are open, letting you catch a glimpse of the strong, pale chest beneath. “You look alluring, as always.” 

Geto extends a hand out to you, and you tenderly take it, sliding your fingers into his large palm. Surprisingly, the pads of his fingertips and palm aren’t rough and calloused. That’s the sign of a man who doesn’t have to work hard for his money, your aunt would say. And you found that to be mostly true. Yuma never had calloused hands, not with his late father’s money cushioning him from any hard labor. 

When Geto pulls you into his lap, you perch yourself on his right leg precariously, letting his right arm wrap around you and settle onto your hip. Instinctively, you lean into his frame, resting your head on his massive shoulder. His smell is different tonight. It’s earthen and full of some essential oil you can’t quite identify, but it suits him. 

“Talk to me,” he murmurs over the soft music. He had the selections changed, you notice, the usual songs sexual and explicit. Now, you were surrounded by jazz, which changed the entire environment of the VIP room. You no longer felt like you would have to dance around sensually for him. Now, you felt like you were in a fancy, upper class yacht club, except in a robe and a night slip with no shoes on. Was he trying to save you? “Tell me about your day.” 

“I’d rather not,” you whisper, thinking of the tension-filled morning and the afternoon you slept away. “Tell me about your day.” Geto rests his cheek against the crown of your head, inhaling deeply before exhaling; his chest rising and falling exaggeratedly. 

“I’d rather not.” A moment of understanding passes between you, but he squeezes your hip suddenly, laughing a little. “Tell me, y/n… you seem well-adjusted. Did you choose this career path or did this career path choose you?” 

“Well…” you think about the question deeply, and choose accordingly. “I chose this.”

“Do you enjoy what you do?” 

“I do,” you breathe, remembering Yuma for a second. “I enjoy it here. Do you enjoy what you do?” When the man doesn’t answer, you lift your head off of his shoulder and look into his onyx eyes. There’s a certain stare in them - not a long stare, but enough to make you wonder - and it isn’t until he blinks that his lips part to answer. 

“I do what I have to in order to survive.” 

“You make it sound like you’re a mobster.” The laugh that resonates in his chest is deep and thoughtful, like he was just considering the prospect of it all. He reaches out a hand to touch your cheek, which you shy away from slightly. It isn’t unusual for a man to attempt to touch you in a more intimate way, but all of this coming from Geto feels too familiar. He clears his throat and drops his hand, looking away from you and at the lamps on the wall. 

“If I said I was, what would you do?” 

“Nothing,” you admit. “There’s not much I could do. Who would I tell?” The thought that this man could actually be a mobster just needing a break sticks a little harder than it should. It would explain the cash, the nice outfits, the need for privacy… 

“No, I don’t associate with the underbelly of society. It’s not my game. Gojo, though…” You frown at the name, and he looks at you with a blank stare. “My bad; my friend from the night before.” 

“Blue eyes?” 

“Yeah,” he begins, looking away. “He brought me here to ease my nerves… I thought a few drinks would do the trick. But here I am.” He gives you a half-shrug, lips turning back up into a smile. That’s when the question you’ve been dying to ask falls out of your mouth without caution.

“Why do you pay more than you have to for... this room?” For me, you want to add, but decide that’s a step too far into personal details. Geto blinks, no doubt sensing your unspoken addition, and tilts his head to the side. “I mean, you could have an escort come to you every single night for the amount you pay for all of this…” You wave your hand around at the furnishings as if to prove your point. “And you could have sex with them.” 

“That’s not what I’m looking for right now.” He replies, and you squint in disbelief, moving off of his leg. 

“You’re telling me you don’t want to have sex.” 

“Is that a question or a statement?” He asks, chuckling a little at your wary expression. 

“Both.”

“Can’t I just get to know a beautiful woman in the privacy I can afford?” 

“You could date a rich woman and take her out to fancy dinn-” 

“That’s a lot of commitment.” Geto interrupts, holding a hand up to cut you off. “I don’t think that’s something I want splashed across every gossip rag.”

“And this is?”

“No one comes here to gossip. The focus is you and your co-workers, and they know what I come here for. It’s not as headline-inducing as taking out the heiress to a billion-dollar company to eat overpriced scallops in a five-star restaurant that pays its workers too little.” He hasn’t raised his voice a single octave, instead looking at you with a soft gaze and planting his hand on his now-abandoned leg. You take in all of the information he’s offered, uncrossing your arms and now standing akimbo, unsure of how to respond. 

Gossip rags… Heiresses… Headlines…?

Geto wasn’t just rich. People had their eyes on him. Why hadn’t Mrs. Lampton warned her? Who else knew about his status in a world that she couldn’t truly occupy? 

“Please,” he begins, stretching his hand out once more. “Sit with me. I enjoy your company.” You take his hand again, and this time he slides you in next to him, your bare leg touching his soft pants. “Now, tell me about the day you wish you had.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

Your alarm goes off at exactly seven am. It isn’t ideal, but you know that in order to even get to your aunt’s flower shop on time, you had to give yourself an hour head start. Waking up was hard enough, and with the situation you were facing, it seemed like times would be getting even harder. 

It isn’t until you get into the shower that you recount the details of the last night. 

“I’m going to be away for a few days, but here’s a little something that might warm your hands while I’m gone.” 

The impossible had happened yet again, and the thick stack of twenty dollars bills Geto handed you sat in your safe - untouched, uncirculated, and the seal around them remained unbroken. You had tried to look him up and find out what exactly he did during his day life, but the search results turned up absolutely nothing but an article from four years ago proclaiming the winner of a chess tournament in India named Geto. When you clicked on the article, you couldn’t read it, but the thirteen-year-old champion was absolutely not the man that had lavished you with cash. 

You tried looking up his white-haired friend, Gojo, but found nothing on him as well. Whoever they were, there was not a single gossip rag that published a photo, quote, or mentioned them. 

Because they paid them off, stupid. 

You nod to yourself at the realization, and wash yourself completely before toweling off in the steamy bathroom. You’re in the middle of wondering what kind of people actually paid to have their names taken out of magazines when the door shudders violently under someone’s fist. 

“Fucking hurry up,” one of your housemates yells from the other side, and you gather your things before rushing past the man in the doorway, ducking your head so he couldn’t accost you. But you’re roughly yanked to the side, making you drop your dirty clothes to the floor. Rough, calloused fingers bite into your arm, and you gasp, staring at the unfriendly face of the only male in the house.  “Stop using all of the damn hot water in this house, y/n. I’ve told you that you get only three minutes of hot water, or else you’re paying the entire water bill, got it?” 

“Sorry, Ryo…” you shrink away from the man’s harsh gaze, and he lets go of your arm silently, storming into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. This. This is what you needed saving from. 

Ryo’s girlfriend, Hasia, timidly shuffles into the room and gives you an apologetic look. She always did that, coming behind Ryo to apologize with her face and never her words. But it was almost over. Soon, you’d have enough to move out and be on your own - and if Geto was going to stay, then all of his money would trickle into your savings for rent, utilities, and new furniture. As it stood, you had enough to purchase something halfway decent, and with the rest of the incoming money, you would be able to fix it up to appear quite nice. You just had to time everything right, and keep your new regular coming back for more.

[bokutosworld]

night time activities with hq boys

- the little things and shenanigans that they like to do with their s/o once the world has quieted down and people have gone to sleep zzz

wc: 1.9k words, fluff, sfw. 

characters: kageyama, hinata, yamaguchi, oikawa, iwaizumi, bokuto, kuroo, ushijima, semi, atsumu!

a/n: so this was intended to be a mini hc list but i got carried away in my feels and just wrote mini scenarios for my top ten hq boys. this is self-indulgent ngl mom i love them :’) 

--

💌 he always gets asked what's the secret to his clear and smooth skin. well, the answer is you. since the two of you started living together, you've gotten kageyama on board in your nightly skincare routine. he doesn't mind it even if tsukishima and hinata tease him endlessly, something about the 'king of the court' being soft for you. as soon as he comes out from the shower, he positions himself on the edge of the bed, letting you stand between his legs as you wipe his face with a toner, followed by a moisturizer. then you'll get a sheet of face mask and put it on carefully. 'thank you, y/n,' he'd always say with a smile before pulling you to his chest, laughter echoing around the room, as you both fall on the bed.

💌 you thought your relationship with hinata wouldn't survive the long distance. but despite the thousand miles separating the both of you and the difference in timezones, he made sure to always wish you sweet dreams and good night. sometimes, he would call you in the middle of practice or while he's sitting in the train during commute. if he's lucky to have a free day, he'd call you while he's also in bed and you guys would talk non-stop, exchanging stories, saying your i love yous and i miss yous. and when you're the first one to snooze, he'd chuckle in the background, taking a few screenshots of your adorable sleeping face before saying goodnight and ending the call with a smile.

💌 one of the things that made yamaguchi fall in love with you was your love for studio ghibli films. when the topic was brought up among your friend group, he instantly whipped his head to where you were and before he knew it, his feet were bringing him to you. you were already friends so you didn't mind him joining the conversation, he was mesmerized with how you passionately talked about your love for howl's moving castle or how you talked about the nostalgic soundtrack of from up on poppy hill. the rest was history and now, five years into the relationship, watching studio ghibli films every friday night has become a tradition to both of you. oftentimes, you would find yourselves cuddled on the bed, legs entangled and arms wrapped around one another. spirited away was playing on the laptop, the light illuminates the dark room as the both of you slowly drifted to sleep. it was in moments like these that you felt overwhelmed and satisfied with the security and comfort of being with him.

💌 oikawa was spontaneous - it kept you on your toes, always wondering what kind of surprise or gimmick he has prepared for you. the day before a big presentation, you were nervous and you made sure he knew it by texting him non-stop, sending him memes that expressed what you couldn't say in words. he didn't want to say you were overreacting in fear of getting on your bad side, but he has no doubt that after spending weeks in preparation that you can ace your presentation. still, he wanted to be of help to you and he knew just how to lift your mood up. it was 2:15 am when you were woken up by the incessant ringing of your phone. you pick it up, ready to shout at whoever was on the other side when you heard his laugh, 'grab your jacket, we're getting mcdonalds.' you didn't need to be told twice, almost running down the stairs so you can get your fix of your fave happy meal. after getting takeout, he drove you to a park and laid out a blanket. you sat and enjoyed your food in peace before he mentioned something about the stars shining bright tonight, turning to you with the biggest grin on his face, 'but i have the brightest star in the world right now by my side.'

💌 iwaizumi could never see what it was about video games that you loved so much. though after dating you since high school, he's been used to being ignored, put on voicemail, and being the second priority whenever you had a console in hand. but one late night, he got curious about the new title you were playing, super smash bros, and figured he could give it a try. you were surprised when he suddenly sat on the couch and scooted closer to make room for himself. he took your extra controller and asked to play for one round. little did he know that one game became two, which became three until the both of you couldn't keep track anymore as he kept losing and asking for a rematch. when you closed the game, the sun was slowly peeking over the clouds. you kissed him on the cheek before retreating to bed 'thanks for playing with me, iwa. that was one of the best games i've had.' he wouldn't admit it but he enjoyed it too, and he was thankful that he had the following day off or he'd be nursing an insane headache at work due to lack of sleep.

💌 people thrived off of the contagious energy that bokuto radiated, and you were no stranger to that. you were all too familiar with the intoxicating feeling that one can get by being around him. being with him, living with him, there were no dull days or quiet evenings. there would be nights that he'd still be high on the adrenaline that came from winning their game, that before sleeping, bokuto would drag you up your feet and get you singing your favorite songs. he didn't need a mic, his loud voice was enough and it reverberated around the room. you'd both be laughing, stumbling over the lyrics as you danced to a silent beat. jumping up and down, you're worried that the neighbors might report you to the guards in the apartment lobby. but none of it would soon matter as he'd suddenly collapse on the bed, pulling you with him. you fall to his chest and you hear the erratic beating of his heart. he lifts your chin up to look at him and he presses a chaste kiss on your lips, 'thank you for being with me all this time.'

💌 due to the nature of his job, you'd been used to kuroo returning home almost midnight due to doing overtime. often, he'd return to a dark apartment as you'd already be tucked in bed, drifting off to a deep sleep. but tonight was different. it was 11:45 pm and when kuroo turned the knob and swung the door open, he was surprised to see you sprawled out on the floor of the living room. a mess of polaroid photos, printed stickers, papers, and craft items were beside. you greeted him with a smile, he returned it with one of his own and question fell on his lips, 'what are you doing here?' he swears he melted on the spot when you said you were making a scrapbook of your moments and milestones together. something about the idea of you collating everything - from when you went on your first date, your first kiss, your first out-of-town trip - had the butterflies in his stomach go crazy. he loosens his tie and undos the first two buttons of his shirt before joining you on the floor, looking forward to staying up all night reminiscing your memories together.

💌 as soon as you and ushijima got home from date night, he'd head straight to the kitchen to brew your favorite cup of tea while you went ahead to wash up and prepare for bed. he'd bring two cups to the room, placing yours on vanity table and his on the nightstand. when you came out of the shower, you'd go straight to your vanity to do your evening skincare, noticing the tea he had prepared and taking a sip before putting on moisturizer. ushijima would take his place behind your back, a hand resting on your shoulder as the other leaned to get your brush. he'd gently comb your hair, dragging the brush slowly over your tresses. 'is this okay? it doesn't hurt?' you'd look at his reflection in the mirror, catching his eyes and you reassure him that it's fine. silence envelopes the two of you, but it's not the awkward kind. it's the one that puts you at ease, erasing your worries as he continues his action. when he finishes, he returns the brush on its spot, turning you around to give you a kiss, 'i love you.'

💌 semi notices something was wrong when you arrived home all quiet. usually, you'd run to where he was - often in the kitchen where he was cooking food or in his mini studio where he composed songs - but tonight, you made a beeline to your shared bedroom. he follows and observes as you throw your bag on the floor before falling face first on the bed. he swears he heard you take a big sigh and takes that as his cue to prepare a warm bath for you. semi makes sure that the water temperature is just how you like it, pouring your favorite bubble soap and lighting up your favorite scented candles all over the room. when he's done, he makes his way over to you, 'come on, sweetheart. i readied a bubble bath for you.' your ears perk up hearing his words and you get up, letting him take your hand as he brought you to the bathroom. he helps you take off your clothes and assists as you sit in the tub. and just when he was about to make his leave, you grab his hand, 'i'd be a lot more comforted if you were here with me.' knowing what you meant, he nods, ridding himself of his clothes before joining and hugging you from behind. 'you're okay now, i got you.'

💌 the past few days have been unkind to you and atsumu. with him being busy with extended training and you being occupied with an insane amount of workload that came with your promotion, you didn't really have enough time to spend awake at home. and atsumu misses you and your voice. it wasn't enough for him just to cuddle up to you when sleeping as he'd always feel bad whenever he had to leave in the morning. so despite knowing that you'd get mad for getting up before the sun has risen, he shook you lightly, 'hey, wake up, i want to show you something.' you opened your eyes slowly, looking for the source of disruption of your sleep, but when you realized it was atsumu, you simply groaned before raising your arms in request from him to carry you. he complies, carrying you bridal style to the car and he speeds off to a nearby park hill. when he alerts you that you have arrived at the destination, you rub sleep off your eyes and come out of the car just in time to see the sun rising over the horizon. the scene unveiling right in front of the both of you was so beautiful that you were left speechless. atsumu hugs you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder and exhales, 'i missed you so much. let's take our time here, okay?' eventually, the two of you reported sick for work/practice but it was worth it.

[sarahlynnirl]

Losing my best friend - Sugar Daddy culture is not empowering

I finally feel strong enough to talk about this and hopefully get some love, support, and reassurance from other women who agree that this is fucked up. I’ve never been “terfy on main” before so here goes. (TW child abuse + SA but no graphic descriptions of SA)

My mother is a narcissist who financially and emotionally abused my father and myself, with some additional physical abuse of me, for as long as I can remember. My dad made plenty of money but my mom controlled it all and made sure it didn’t go towards anything for me beyond the bare minimum required not to look obviously guilty of child abuse and neglect. I met Kiara (not her real name) when I was a junior in highschool and she was a freshman. Her mom was a single Korean woman doing her best to support Kiara and her 2 sisters while also running a Korean restaurant. My first jobs were a summer camp counselor and fitting room attendant at Forever 21. I would spend the last scraps of my paycheck making sure Kiara was able to order a full meal when our friends went out to dinner, buying her little gifts, and generally trying to keep us both as happy and healthy as possible.

When Kiara graduated highschool her mom drove her into Koreatown New Jersey, got her a room in the apartment of an acquaintance, and basically left her to fend for herself. Kiara spoke barely any Korean. She began working at a Korean salon where she met Ariana (not her real name). She had a NY cosmetology license, not an NJ one, while Ariana was an illegal immigrant from Korea so they were both overworked, underpaid, forced to work overtime, paid under minimum wage, and deprived of their tips. They couldn’t report or complain about this since they were both working illegally.

Kiara had to pay rent for the one room she occupied despite her land lady yelling at her, walking into her room while she slept, banning her from having friends over, and reporting to her mom if she spoke to a guy on the phone or a guy dropped her off. I was working at a restaurant in my college town on top of my classes and doing my best to keep surprising her with little gifts, but neither of us had enough disposable income to afford to visit each other. This was really difficult for me as she was my favorite person in the world and I was used to spending every second with her when we both lived in upstate NY. Ariana got them both to start using SeekingArrangement for one time meet ups with Sugar Daddies where they were paid anywhere from $200-2000 for sex. “The first time I ever did it I walked out of the hotel and just screamed because I was so disgusted and I was thinking about his wrinkly skin touching mine and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and scrub it off but I had $1000 cash in my hand for a couple hours of work which was so crazy and kinda made it all worth it ya know?” - Ariana to me

I was immediately skeptical and a little grossed out but Kiara genuinely seemed happier. She was buying new clothes for herself, ordering food to the apartment when she was hungry, and taking trips into NYC to have fun with Ariana and her friends. By the beginning of the summer of 2019, Kiara had found the Sugar Daddy who she would establish a long term agreement with and who ultimately ended up completely supporting her. I’m not going to say his name here but if people want to know it just ask, I am willing to share. He moved her into a much nicer much bigger apartment with Ariana as her roommate. He paid for me to fly up and visit her, and all of our activities during this vacation. I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry. I wish I shoved the money back in her hand before it was too late, I wish I worked harder and longer hours and got us an apartment in Florida and paid both of our rent. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t listen to my instincts and allowed her to brush off my concerns. It was the most freedom we had ever had, I ran around NYC by myself while she was at work, and my ex took the bus to NJ from upstate NY and joined us for a few days. I feel so selfish but I also didn’t know how bad things would get.

One night Kiara and I went to NYC for dinner with her SD and she took the bus back to the apartment because she had to work early the next morning. It made sense for me to stay in the city because I was supposed to visit my friend at NYU the next morning. In the Uber to his apartment alone with him he was drunk and high and I very clearly looked scared shitless. At this point she was 19 (but she had looked that way since age 17 and I doubt he would have minded if she was lying about her age), I was 21 and he was 44. He seemed offended by my discomfort and was basically like “jeez relax I’m not gonna touch you, I really care about Kiara I think she’s so amazing, just go to the guest room and sleep, make a left to walk to NYU when you wake up.” I peaced the fuck out of there early the next morning.

After that summer Kiara and Ariana quit their jobs at the Korean salon and sugaring became their sole incomes. Ariana was still doing one time meet ups, not nearly as financially stable as Kiara, and got herself into a lot of credit card debt that to my knowledge she’s still in. At this point Kiara was flying down and staying with me in Florida so often that people at my college thought she went there too. I also wasn’t working at this point because college had gotten harder and my ex was fucking up my mental health real bad. He had given me a coke problem and Kiara sending me “grocery money” was enabling me to continue. I wasn’t honest with her about where all the money was going. During Halloween week we didn’t know that she couldn’t just snort molly (MDMA) with the frequency I was doing coke, she ODed, my guy best friend took us to the ER, it was so fucking scary, she got IV fluids for 2 hours and made a full recovery, she stopped doing molly, I kept doing coke. I’m so sorry :(

In November her SD paid for us to take a trip to Cancun Mexico. He was with us for the first part of the trip and this is where things started to get really bad. He tried to be my friend and act the way a boyfriend of my best friend who was my age would, but it was creepy and wrong and I was so uncomfortable. He asked about my drug use in a way that was gross and shamey and basically him seeing me as the “coke whore” stereotype...while continuing to buy me more coke. He also brought and gave us ecstasy pills. He asked really invasive questions about my relationship with my ex, why I stayed, my sex life, etc. It felt like an uncle asking me these questions, I did NOT wanna talk about any of this with him. But from what I did say it was very clear to someone with 44 years of life experience that I had an abusive mother, an addictive personality, and was in an unhealthy relationship. He offered to set me up with an SD friend of his looking for a sugar baby. I of course declined because I always knew this was a boundary I wasn’t willing to cross. No matter how bad my addictions got I would NOT give up that piece of myself in return for money.

In this part of Mexico, drugs that were only given with a prescription in the US were available over the counter. Kiara and I got a little box of 1mg Xanax with my money. My ex had given us Xanax a couple times in NY and we had fun with it, but at this point in time we did NOT have a problem with it. We had bought one bar, broken it in half, and each took half one night of Halloween week and called it “xanpires”, but this wasn’t something we were scripted or buying regularly from plugs. We went to dinner with her SD, we got up to go to the bathroom, and she immediately slipped and hit the ground. I was like woah did you take one of the xans and forget? Because we were supposed to tell each other if we were taking one so we could look out for each other. I was never mad at her! I never wanted money from her! I was just a little concerned, and once I determined that she was safe we thought it was kinda funny that she had taken a xan without realizing and started joking around about it. Her SD of course didn’t understand how a 19 year old and 21 year old girl joke with each other because he was a creepy old man, decided that we were “arguing”, and got up from the restaurant, walked across the street, bought a 90 count bottle of 2mg xans and gave it to me. This was honestly the most irresponsible way someone has ever treated me in my life, and this is coming from someone with an abusive and neglectful parent. Google “benzo withdrawal” if you’re not familiar with it.

We went to a different hotel, and Kiara and I both took xans and blacked out. I passed out on the guest bed, while Kiara was awake but in a conscious blackout. I woke up on the couch on the balcony (which was fine, it was comfy and I saw the sunrise over the beach. The gross part was that meant her SD had picked me up, put his hands on my body while I was unconscious and carried me out there). I remembered that at one point I had woken up, wanted to go to the bathroom or get something from inside, caught a glimpse of what I thought was them having sex, and went back outside. I mentioned it to Kiara and she had no memory of it whatsoever, she thought all she had done was gone to sleep. She was rightfully pissed the fuck off that her SD had taken advantage and done things with her while she was blacked, screamed at him, he gave us a half ass apology, and bought us more stuff (buying our silence). He finally flew home and we got to enjoy the trip with just each other, but I was careless with the dosage of a drug called tramadol, and I ODed with my head in her lap...I’m sorry. When I woke up I was hallucinating, hearing voices, crying hysterically and terrified. Kiara called my ex who asked how many mg I took, told us I was 100mg short of the amount that would require medical attention, made me laugh, and told me to go to sleep. I recognize how scary and unfair to her this was and I really do take responsibility for my actions. The day I was supposed to leave I did ecstasy, hooked up with a guy from Canada, and tried to skip my flight. She was mad because like yeah what the fuck. She got me on the flight, the ecstasy comedown hit, and there’s pictures of me crying in the airport because I hated when we fought.

I was supposed to stop in Miami, then fly back to my college town but while in Miami I texted my granny that I was “sad and really didn’t feel good and could she and my uncle visit me at the airport and bring my uncles dog?”. Her parenting instincts went off that something was very wrong, made me skip the flight, picked me up from the airport and took me to her house where I immediately threw up and ran an extremely high fever that night. She said it was one of the scariest nights of her life and she kept checking on me to see if I needed to go to the hospital. She drove me back to my college town where my guy best friend took me to the ER and it came out that Kiaras SD, in addition to giving me drugs, had also allowed me to drink Mexican tap water throughout the entire trip. I was treated for that + given chlamydia meds just in case since I’d had unprotected sex in a foreign country. I was fine, promised to do better, Kiara forgave me, things started to go back to normal. Except I had begun taking Xanax daily to deal with the anxiety of the illness...and she had a trip to Bali planned.

During that trip things managed to get even worse. She was there with her SD and another Korean friend and her SD was pressuring her and guilting her into sex, isolating her from her friend, going through her phone, and becoming extremely aggressive. She would call me crying and having panic attacks and I would walk out of class to try to comfort her over FaceTime. She did not have panic attacks before this trip. She begged to go home early because something was very wrong but he said it was a waste of money and kept her in Bali until the planned end of the trip. I think it was almost a month. She sent me a recording she secretly took of him screaming at her and her saying “don’t touch me, don’t grab me like that, leave me alone”. When she got back to the US I was begging her to stop. I was so worried for her safety. I said the money wasn’t worth it, we’ll get jobs, please just stop. I’m pretty sure he read those messages. We also had a suspicion that he had installed spyware on her phone but were never able to prove it. At this point I also reached out to my dad for help and his response was basically “I don’t care, not my problem, focus on school”. I reached out to my granny who absolutely cared, but her response was “I’m sorry but I can’t afford to support her, I have to focus on taking care of you, if she won’t stop this you’ll have to stop being friends with her”.

I went home to New York for winter break, suffered through my first round of Xanax withdrawal and was truly trying to get better but my ex manipulated his was back in my life and got me addicted again....but now this bottle of 90 had run out. I went back to my college town, got scripted, and was copping street bars when my script inevitably ran out early. What comes next is blurry for obvious reasons. We moved to the town in Florida my granny lived in and got an apartment together. The female friends she made in our town (my current home) she got most of them into sugaring and using SeekingArrangement. Things deteriorated super fast at this point. I was struggling hard, failing my online classes, and eventually got completely financially cut off by my parents. My granny was paying my half of the rent and my puppy’s vet bills but I was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t afford groceries. Kiara was pressuring me hard to go on SeekingArrangement but I still refused. I would sit on the floor of the bathroom in a towel after I showered and just cry because the steam made me nauseous and dizzy since I wasn’t eating.

I met my current boyfriend and something just started to click: I didn’t wanna live like this anymore. The mom of a friend from this town who also refuses to sugar landed me an interview at the gym I currently work at, I fought for the job, and I got it. Now I knew I didn’t wanna be completely fucked up all the time anymore but I was still doing enough Xanax to keep me out of withdrawal. The 2mg that had blacked me out at the beginning were now just barely enough to keep me functional. Kiara and I were fighting frequently and bad by this time. She and her partner in sugaring, Mena (not her real name but pretty close to it, fuck this bitch fr) were expecting me to keep how they made their money a secret....from friends and guys that I saw every single day. They both very obviously did not work and were flexing new cars, designer clothes, and cash all over their social media. Kiara thought she could cover her ass by saying she dealt drugs but it was also obvious that she wasn’t putting the time into that to come up with the amount of money she had. The only one dealing drugs was me, and not enough to do anything flashy, just enough that in addition to my work money I was usually getting enough to eat. But there were still some times when the previous weeks paycheck had run out and I was having my first meal of the day at 3pm after someone had bought adderall from me. We had our serious serious fight where she threw my stuff in the lawn and I lived with my current boyfriend full time for about a couple weeks since my bedroom at my granny’s was getting refloored when this happened.

By January 20th he was concerned by my Xanax problem and wanted me to seriously try to stop. At the time I started tapering because I wanted the girlfriend title but I’m forever grateful for him giving me a reason, even if it was a shallow one, because I just needed to START. We tried to reconcile once, despite boyfriend and guy best friend begging me not to, and of course the same problems reappeared, we had another serious fight and haven’t spoken since.

Now the fog is clearing and today I’m 96 days clean of xanax, 16 days clean of all benzos, and 19 days clean of gabapentin (what was keeping me from having a seizure while quitting benzos). But it’s hard because being out of the fog means feeling all of my emotions, even the really bad ones. This past week I’ve been waking up and crying sitting in front of my mirror trying to put my makeup on for work and it just drips right off and I have to start over. She was my best friend for 8 years. My favorite person. My partner in life. I loved her more than anyone.

My boyfriend and guy best friend are pretty uncomfortable when they hear someone express an opinion of me that’s “Kiara’s side of the story” and I don’t correct it. Both of them saw exactly how bad it got near the very end and don’t get why I don’t defend myself more or tell people about her letting my dog eat dab (THC) wax while she was supposed to be watching her and having to be rushed to the animal hospital TWO separate times. (She’s a Pomeranian and the highly concentrated THC was super dangerous to her tiny little body). Yelling at me and giving me the silent treatment because less than 48 hours after my SA she expected me to drive her to a hair appointment in Miami and I woke up late and didn’t get her there on time with traffic. Me begging her to be there for me when it felt like everything was falling apart and I self harmed for the first time and her leaving me to go on a vacation to Orlando with a girl we didn’t even really like. Me not wanting to sleep in the apartment alone after my SA and her not letting me sleep in her bed anymore, her and Mena just dumping me at the neighbor’s so they could continue to sugar, party, and see guys our age at night (this sounds super awful but neighbors roommate —> current boyfriend. He kept me safe until I felt better, was really sweet and careful, and I was the one to make the first move). There’s more but I really don’t like talking about it, after the abuse she went through and I assume is still going through, I expect her to be pretty damaged and not have it in her to treat people right all the time. Not exposing every bad thing she’s ever done to all our mutual friends and acquaintances is kind of my last gift to her.

I also admit that sugaring wasn’t responsible for everything that went wrong. Loving an addict is difficult and exhausting and I went through it myself with my ex. I was also out bi and she was “probably straight, maybe a little bi-curious” in her words. But when she was drunk or on Xanax she’d kiss me first...we had done more than kiss but only during 3somes with a guy. I don’t know, I think I loved her more than I was supposed to and some of the stuff she’d say made me think she saw me in a way she really didn’t. When we first moved to this town I had a thing with a girl and expected it to be no big deal but things here were different than up north. I got called the d slur for the first time by someone who wasn’t joking. It was like getting slapped I was so shocked and hurt, I truly didn’t think that happened anymore. I think she saw what happened to me and kinda closed off that part of herself because she didn’t wanna experience that herself. She stopped making out with me at bars and parties after that and it made me sad and maybe a little jealous. But I really do blame her SD for basically “breaking her”, for handing me that first bottle of free Xanax, for a lot of other little things that I can’t possibly include because this is already way too long. This is my first time even saying this much. Feel free to add your own experiences or thoughts on this or anything you’d like. [I’m prepared to get death threats or called a SWERF or whatever but I don’t care, now that I started talking about this I’m not going to stop.]

[doc-pickles]

anywhere i want (just not home)

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

For the love of my life, the inspiration behind TS week, the wind in my sails… Happy later birthday @odd-birds-and-booksellers I hope you enjoy this

Always, Your Computer Wife,

Nina

+

We gather here, we line up

Weepin' in a sunlit room, and

If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

The pain in her cheek is still stinging as she struggles to open her eyes. There’s the faintest hint of sunlight filtering through the large window of her bedroom, a new day just beginning only hours after she’d finally been left alone long enough to find some peace.

The bed next to her is cold and empty, Paul having left for work while she was still crying and groaning in pain. He hadn’t spared her a second glance as he’d gotten dressed for the day, stepping over the puddle of blood that had collected on the floor where she’d laid for hours as he kicked her mercilessly, hurling harsh blows and leering insults as she’d tried to protect herself.

She pulls herself up and drags her barely conscious body to the shower, rinsing off the dried blood and sweat as she tends to the wounds she can see. She already knows she has at least one bruised rib and a sprained ankle, but she can’t do much about it now. For now all she can do is rinse off, lay in bed and hope that tonight doesn’t bring more of the same.

+

Jo bolts upright in bed, hand pressed to her chest as she attempts to slow her breathing down. The dream echoes in the back of her head, the painful memories replaying themselves in vivid technicolor right before her eyes.

She knows why they’re haunting her again, knows that he’s looking for her right now and that he won’t stop until he’s found her. Paul has made that much clear with his texts and letters, little signs to make it clear that they’re not done yet.

A hand closes over hers and she almost jumps before she remembers where she is. Jo squeezes Alex’s hand back, letting him pull her back down and into his embrace. As soon as his arms circle around her she can feel her body begin to calm down.

“It’s not even 2 AM, try and get some sleep, you need it,” Alex’s voice in her ears convinces her to close her eyes, even if sleep is far off the feeling of him so close helps to relax her. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

It’s later that same day when Jo receives another text, the ping stopping her during rounds and prompting her to make a flimsy excuse to Meredith as she rushes to the nearest bathroom.

Can’t wait to see you soon, both of you.

The text lingers in her mind as her breakfast reappears, tears flowing as she tries to drown out the overwhelming noise in her mind. Paul didn’t make empty threats, that’s one thing she knew for sure. The texts she was receiving were just the tip of the iceberg for whatever he had in store for her.

“Jo? You in here?”

She can barely respond to Alex in between crying and being sick, her body overwhelmed as she tries to keep herself calm. Jo can hear Alex saying something incomprehensible as she begins to hyperventilate, his voice growing further away as her breathing became more ragged.

The last thing Jo registers before everything goes black is Alex holding her against his chest, his fingers threading through her hair in an attempt to calm her as his heartbeat echoed unsteadily in her ears.

When she comes back around Jo’s not shocked to find herself laying in a hospital bed, an IV and monitoring wires hooked up to her pale skin. Before she has a chance to overthink anything though Alex is in front of her, his hands running down her cheeks and wiping away the tears she hadn’t realized had collected there.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you,” Alex’s voice is soft as she meets his eyes, his gaze causing her to melt into another round of tears. “Oh Jo, it’s okay.”

“It’s not! He’s going to kill me, he already knows where I am and this time he’s going to make sure I don’t survive,” Jo chokes the words out, her fingers ghosting over her protruding stomach. “Alex, he's not going to leave me alone until both of us are dead. I can’t put our baby at risk like that.”

The thought almost makes her sick again, her daughter kicking against her hand as she draws in a deep breath. Of all the wild and unexpected things her and Alex had been through, their daughter was by far her favorite. Even with a few weeks left until she arrived Jo already felt a fierce instinct to protect the little girl growing in her womb.

“I’m not going to let him get anywhere near the two of you, I promise,” Alex brushes back a few strands of hair lingering on her forehead, pressing a kiss to the cool skin as he settles into the bed next to her. “You’re safe with me Jo, both of you are.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Jo wants to believe Alex, she really does. Since her breakdown over Paul’s threats he had been by her side whenever he could. His presence was comforting but it did little to calm the raging mental battle she was fighting inside her head.

Now though, as she stares down at her daughter sleeping peacefully in her arms, she knows that she made the right decision. She just hopes Alex agrees with her.

“She's perfect, you did so good,” Alex had repeated the words over and over since Isla had made her appearance almost six hours ago, but they still prompt a smile on Jo’s face. “I love you two so much.”

“I love you, we both do,” Jo leans up and captures his lips with her own, lingering a little longer than she normally would as Alex’s fingers trace her cheek delicately. “Would you do me a big favor? I left my robe at home and it’s freezing in here. Could you go home real quick and grab it?”

Alex nods, a grin on his face as he stands from the chair at her bedside and gathers his keys and wallet. Jo watches him intently, memorizing every movement and expression that makes him exactly the man she fell in love with. He leans down to press one more kiss to her forehead then Isla’s before promising to be back soon.

As the door to her hospital room shuts, Jo looks down at her daughter, tears splashing onto the newborn's cheeks as her mother watches her, “Your daddy loves you very much, don’t you ever forget that.”

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

“Alex, are you coming to work today? It’s been a week,” Meredith’s voice rings out from the doorway of the loft, but Alex can’t bring himself to answer her. She’d been by everyday since he’d come home, her voice prodding at him the only sound in the loft.

He’d gone home to get Jo’s robe like she’d asked, finally finding it tucked away at the very back of the closet instead of hanging in the bathroom like it usually was. On his way back to her room, he’d stopped in the hospital gift shop and grabbed the fluffiest pink and white teddy bear sitting in the window. He had told the cashier that his daughter had just been born and showed off the photo of Jo and Isla that was already his phone lock screen.

And then he’d gone upstairs, the missing robe and teddy bear tumbling from his hands as he found an empty bed and bassinet, Jo and Isla’s bags gone from the room that they’d occupied not even an hour before when he’d left. He’d asked every nurse and doctor on shift but no one had an answer for him. When he finally made it back to the room, he saw the note hastily scribbled across a spare piece of paper, his knees giving way as he read the words printed in Jo’s recognizable script.

I couldn’t let him find us, I’m so sorry. Please don’t worry, we’re safe.

Love you always.

J & I

He’d sat on the floor of the hospital room until Meredith had come to collect him at the bidding of the nurses on the floor. She’d given him a sympathetic look and held him as he cried, only letting his guard down for his closest friend.

The reality hadn’t truly sunk in until he came home later that night to an empty loft filled with baby gear and the scent of Jo lingering on every surface. He’d screamed then, throwing pillows and couch cushions and anything he could find in an attempt to get some of his emotions out in the open.

It hadn’t helped though, the sadness he’d felt morphing into feelings of anger and helplessness. Alex knew that Jo was acting out of desperation, doing what she truly thought was right, and he couldn’t be mad at her for that. No, his anger was directed at the man that had pushed her to that point, had scared her and haunted her every move so horribly that she’d fled Seattle with their newborn daughter in tow.

As he ignores Meredith for yet another day, Alex let his mind wander to Jo and Isla for a moment. He knows Jo would never run with their daughter if she didn’t have a plan to keep her safe, but just the knowledge that they were out there without him broke his heart.

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

His fingers press down the collar of the light blue button up once more before sliding the black suit jacket over it. He examines himself in the mirror of the hotel room one last time before turning to leave. He’d only been to Seattle once before for a medical conference, but this trip held a much more important air to it.

Brooke, his Brooke, was close. Closer than she’d ever been before and he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was delighted when he’d found her again, even more so when he found out that she was a doctor giving him the perfect opportunity to drop in on her. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he saw her.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

When Alex finally makes it back to work he’s met with an abundance of pitying looks and unhelpful comments. He knows most of his coworkers have good intentions but he’s in the verge of screaming at the next person who interacts with him. All he wants to do is work and try and forget that his daughter and the love of his life aren’t waiting for him at home like they should be.

“Alex! I have someone I want you to meet,” Arizona’s bubbly voice almost makes Alex roll his eyes, the blonde not doing much to improve his demeanor since he was in no mood to meet anyone new. “This is Doctor Paul Stadler, he’s an expert on laparoscopic surgery techniques which is always helpful when we have tiny humans to save.”

Alex can feel his blood run cold as he turns towards Arizona and the man standing next to her. Whatever picture he had painted in his head fades as he stares at the man in front of him. Despite his bright grin Alex knows exactly what Paul is capable of, what he had done and threatened to do to Jo.

“While I’d love to meet your whole team Doctor Robbins, I’m not here on business today. I’m looking for Doctor Wilson actually.”

“Oh,” Arizona’s face falls, gaze turning to Alex as his jaw tightens. “Actually she’s-“

“She’s gone, she left,” Alex’s voice has an edge that makes even him flinch at how harsh and cold it is.

Paul eyes Alex for a moment, looking him over before speaking again, “That’s unfortunate. Would you happen to know where she is? I’d love to speak with her.”

“Well get in line then because I've been waiting for her to come home for the past three weeks,” Alex slams the iPad in his hands onto the counter of the nurses station, eyes ablaze as he stares Paul down. “You harassed her for months on end and scared her so much that she ran away with our daughter hours after giving birth.”

Paul attempts to conceal the smirk on his face but fails, causing Alex to step towards him with clenched fists. Arizona steps between the two men, fixing Alex with a hard stare.

“Back up Alex. I know that you’re upset about Jo but-“

“But nothing! He’s the reason my girlfriend and daughter are gone!”

“Okay why don’t you take the rest of the day off,” Arizona’s hands squeezing his shoulders finally breaks Alex’s gaze away from Paul whose face has broken into a full on shit eating grin. Arizona and Alex exchange a look and he can tell she’s holding back her anger now as well. “Alex, go home.”

How can I when they’re not there?

The question echoes in his mind the whole drive back to the loft, Alex’s heart constricting as he sat on the edge of his and Jo’s bed. The loft was still empty, sounds still echoing off the walls as he sat alone. His mind brings up the image of Jo and Isla sitting in their hospital room as he walked away, not knowing that was the last time he’d see them.

He leans forward, reaching into his dresser and rummages around his sock drawer for a minute before pulling out a velvet box. When Jo had told him she was pregnant he’d immediately gone out and bought the ring. Not because of Isla, but because starting a family with Jo was all the confirmation he needed that she was it for him. Now the box sat collecting dust in his drawer, it’s future uncertain as he wondered exactly where Jo was.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

“And this is your daddy and your Auntie Meredith. They love you so much,” despite knowing that the infant couldn’t understand what she said or even clearly see the photo she had pulled up on her phone, Jo made sure that Isla knew about all of the people they loved in Seattle. “Your daddy misses you so much, baby girl. I’m sorry I took you away from him, I know that makes me a crappy mom.”

“You’re not a crappy mom,” Jo looks from Isla to the man sitting next to her, his hand settling on her shoulder as he fixes her with a knowing look. “You did what you had to do.”

“Some days it doesn’t feel like that,” Jo sighs, her head falling to his shoulder as she fights back tears. “I took her from her dad! I took her away from the only family she’ll ever have, Link. And why? Because I’m scared?”

Link pulls back from Jo, meeting her eyes as he speaks, “You had every reason to run, you know that. I’ve seen what he’s capable of, I wouldn’t want to worry about that all the time if I were you. Especially with a newborn, I get it. So don’t feel too bad for yourself, I think you made the right choice.”

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

“Jo?”

The lights in the loft are off but Jo’s car is parked out front. When he switches the lights on Alex sees Jo shoving clothes into a tote bag, tear stains tracking down her cheeks.

“Jo what are you doing?”

"I'm going to Stephanie’s for a few nights, just until I can figure things out.”

Jo’s voice is nervous and she's talking a mile a minute. She still hasn't looked up at Alex but he can see the bright red hives cropping up on her neck already.

"I'm sorry it was an accident but I’m going to

fix it. It's my fault, I'll fix it!”

"What are you talking about,” despite the fact that he's spoken up more than once Jo seems to be in a world of her own.

“Don't worry about it, you don't need more stress,” Jo’s hands are shaking as she closes the bag she's holding. "It's still early, it'll be an easy fix. I'm going to fix it, I have an appointment scheduled."

It clicks for Alex then just exactly what Jo is talking about. He sinks to his knees next to her tilting her chin up so she’ll finally look at him.

“Are you pregnant?”

"I'm sorry, I missed my birth control it was an accident," Jo’s tone is frantic now as more tears begin to fall. "I have an appointment, I'm going to fix it-“

"Jo slow down, I'm not mad so stop apologizing,” Alex wiped at the tears that had collected on Jo’s cheeks. "You don't want our baby?”

Jo blinked up at Alex as if nothing he was saying was making sense to her.

“What's actually the matter Jo? Why were you so scared to tell me?"

“I… I'm married."

“What?"

“I'm married to a guy who nearly beat me to death. And when I got pregnant I thought he'd

be happy and maybe he'd let up, instead he yelled and screamed and then he,” Jo pauses, eyes downcast as she looks down at her hands. “When he was done with me for the night I wasn't pregnant anymore.

“He wouldn't let me get birth control though so the next time I just solved the problem quietly. And when it happened a third time I ran. I ran and changed my name and never turned back,” Jo finally looks up and meets Alex’s gaze, eyes watery still as he watches her. “I had a miscarraige that time, probably because of how banged up I was. But it got me out of there. So when I started having the same symptoms again I freaked out.”

“Oh Jo…”

“Alex, I’m terrified of my past and of losing you and losing this baby… I’ve already lost far too much. I don’t want to lose any more.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m all in with you even if it means we never get married. You and this baby mean everything to me. That is if you want it.”

“Of course I do, I want this more than anything. I want kids with you, I really do but…”

“Okay then we’ll do it.”

“Really? You dont think I’m too damaged or crazy?”

“Yes Jo, I want all of that,” Alex pulled Jo into his lap, placing a hand over her stomach as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you and you’re just about the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

The room is spinning when she pries her eyes open, dried blood making the task difficult. She tries to sit up, but the pain radiating from her stomach keeps her down. She knows if she moves she’ll make it worse, but her body is in pain and she can’t lay in this position much longer.

As soon as she makes a move, the pain is back. She thinks it’s his foot that’s making contact with her ribs now, digging into her back as her body curls in on itself.

“Stop! Please!”

The cries are useless, they always are, but she hopes that maybe they’ll convince him to end her suffering sooner or throw the next punch a little softer.

“Please stop! Stop!”

Her shoulders are shaking as she blinks her eyes open again, a pair of blue eyes staring down at her in concern.

“It was just a nightmare, you’re okay and you’re safe,” Link’s words help to steady her heartbeat a little, her eyes moving to Isla who's peacefully sleeping in his arms. “I woke you up because I just turned the news on. Take a look.”

“Former Harvard University professor Paul Stadler was arrested early yesterday morning on charges of battery and assault against his girlfriend, who is still being treated for her injuries at Massachusetts General Hospital. Since his arrest, three more women have come forward with allegations against Stadler ranging from ongoing harassment to physical violence and sexual assault. Boston PD is asking any other victims to contact them at this time.”

Jo stares blankly at the television in front of her, eyes welling with tears as the news footage continues to roll. She wasn’t alone and she was so close to being free from Paul’s hold on her.

“You have to go to Boston, your testimony could put him away,” Link’s voice snaps her out of her reverie, eyes moving from the television to him. “Jo, he’s going to prison. You can finally be free.”

The hope that had ignited her heart just moments earlier was crushed as she played through the possibilities before her. What if she testified and Paul wasn’t put in prison? What if he continued to harass her? What if he hurt Isla? Or Alex?

“I can’t. I can’t face him again… There's too much on the line,” Jo looks away from Link, her tears finally falling. “I have too much to lose.”

“And you’ll be stuck right here if you don’t do anything!”

“At least I’ll be safe then.”

“And what about Alex? You’re okay never seeing him again? Never letting Isla see him?”

Jo stands suddenly, facing Link with an angry expression, “You don’t get to make the calls here Link! I appreciate everything you’ve done for us but I can’t risk everything when there’s not a guarantee that it’ll end up well.”

Jo storms out of the room then, complex emotions overwhelming her as she sinks into her bed. She wishes things were easier, were more black and white instead of the fuzzy grey she’d become so accustomed to. But they aren’t, they never would be with Paul and now she’d dragged Alex and Isla and even Link into the pools of grey she’d spent so long trying to avoid.

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

Alex watched his phone ring for a moment, debating on picking up at all. He doesn’t recognize the number and he doesn’t know anyone from California. But he still clicks the green accept button, hoping whoever it was wasn’t going to waste his time.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m so glad you picked up.”

Alex freezes, stares at his phone for a moment, then brings it back up to his ear, “Jo? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” there’s a long pause and Alex almost thinks she’s hung up before she begins to cry. “I’m so sorry Alex. I’m so sorry we left you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know, I get why you left. I hate it but I understand,” a sigh leaves him as he rests his head against the wall next to him, tears forming in his eyes as well, “Are you okay?”

“Yes we’re both fine, I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have somewhere safe to run to,” Jo sucks in a breath, as if her next words are taking everything out of her. “Paul is going to prison.”

“I know, I saw. Are you going to testify?”

“I don’t know. I want to but… There's too much at risk. I don’t want him to hurt you or Isla.”

Just the sound of his daughter's name tugs at Alex’s heart, the tears that had been welling in his eyes spilling onto his cheeks.

“If you don’t go you’re going to be living in fear for the rest of your life. But if you do, you can get closure. And you can save more people from getting hurt by Paul.”

She lets his words sink in for a moment before he hears her voice again, “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, you and Isla both,” Alex can hear shuffling in the background, a deep voice and then a small cry.

“I have to go, Alex.”

“Wait Jo-”

“I love you. We both do.”

“I love you too.”

The line goes dead then and Alex can’t help the sob that breaks from his chest. He misses Jo, misses Isla, misses the feeling of wholeness that came to him when he would climb into bed with Jo at the end of every day.

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

Alex doesn't know what drives him to fly to Boston, but he feels a small sense of relief when he sees Paul Stadler in the defendant's seat. A sick feeling makes itself at home in the pit of his stomach as he watches half a dozen women testify to the horrors that Paul had put them through, detailing the ways he had tormented them. Jo had never gone into detail to him but if what she went through was even half as bad as what he was hearing then he understood why she had gone to such extremes to hide from Paul.

He watches as the final woman testifies and finds her seat again, the courtroom silent except for the prosecuting attorneys whispering among themselves. Finally, one of the lawyers stands and addresses the courtroom, “Your honor, we’d like to call our final witness. The prosecution calls Brooke Elizabeth Stadler, now Josephine Alice Wilson, to the stand.”

Alex feels the air leave his lungs as he watches Jo approach the bench. Her hair is shorter and a dirty blonde color but she’s still the same woman he knows so well. The dark blue dress she’s wearing sways lightly as she takes the stand, stating her name and swearing in before she begins to give her testimony. Jo explains how she and Paul met, how they married, and then she goes into the abuse she endured. Alex listens to the detailed accounts she gives, accompanied by the numerous hospital reports.

“And then one day I got sick of it and I ran. I knew Paul would find me though so I fled the state and changed my name. I started a new life and I have a beautiful daughter,” Jo finally meets Alex’s gaze and he gets the overwhelming urge to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close. “But Paul found me again and he was threatening me so as soon as my daughter was born I ran again. I left behind my new life, the only place I’ve ever felt safe because I knew he would find me again and I couldn’t risk him hurting my daughter.”

The air in the courtroom is thick as Jo’s words sink in. Alex knows he’s not the only one who’s been affected by her testimony and the words of everyone that went before her. The prosecutor thanks Jo, the defending attorney waiving their right to question her. As she steps down from the stand she meets Alex’s gaze for a moment before turning away and going back to her seat.

And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)

“Jurors, have you come to a decision?”

“We have your honor,” there’s a tense silence in the courtroom as the decision is handed off to the judge. “We find the defendant Paul Stadler guilty on all charges.” A breath of relief leaves Alex as he turns to look at Jo. There’s tears streaming down her face and the slightest hint of a smile as she looks at him. Before he can get up and go to her though she's surrounded by the other women who had testified, all of them crying in relief.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

She sees him about fifty feet in front of her, his back to her as he stands almost perfectly still. She watches him for a moment, his slumped shoulders and overall defeated attitude and for a moment she feels guilty for what she’s put him through in the past three months. Before she can dwell on the feeling for too long Alex is turning towards her, looking over her with that same sad expression he’d been wearing in the courtroom.

There’s a moment where all Jo and Alex do is stare at each other before she finds herself rushing forward and launching herself into his embrace. His arms are holding her tightly, refusing to let go even as she begins to cry into his chest.

This moment, the feeling of being in Alex’s arms again, is all Jo has wanted since she’d left Seattle.

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

“Alex, I’m so-”

“Stop, you don't need to apologize to me,” Alex pulls back from Jo, one hand coming to cup her cheek. “I get it, I understand where you’re coming from. I know why you ran so don’t ever think of apologizing to me. I’m just glad that you’re safe.”

A fresh round of tears springs to Jo’s eyes as she looks up at Alex, “I don’t deserve you. I’ve put you through so much.” Alex blinks down at Jo, not believing what he’s hearing. Their relationship had never been one sided, they’d both supported each through tough situations and had come out stronger at the end. In his eyes this was nothing more than another speed bump.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you back Jo. I love you and all of this? None of it changes how I feel about you,” Alex leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Jo’s lips. “I love you and I’m glad you’re back in my arms.”

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

“Hey! I just heard the verdict!”

Jo turns at the sound of Link’s voice, a wide smile spreading across her face as her best friend comes into view. It’s not so much the blonde man’s presence that makes her grin as it is the infant in his arms. Isla is wide eyed as she looks at Jo, the three month old blinking up at her mother with a sense of wonder.

“Hi baby girl, I have someone who’s very excited to see you,” Jo eagerly takes her daughter from Link before turning and looking at Alex. “Isla say hi to daddy, he missed you sooo much.”

The look on Alex’s face as he takes Isla from Jo’s arms is priceless, tears welling in his eyes as he lets out a watery laugh. The little girl snuggles comfortably into his arms, as if she had done it a hundred times before and Jo can’t help her own tears as they leak onto her cheeks.

“You three get together, I think this moment needs to be remembered.” Alex and Jo both heed Link’s instruction and wipe their tears away to boast wide grins. The photo of the three of them squeezed together after a grueling ordeal graces their family mantle for years to come. Even when there are dozens of other family photos, pictures from Alex and Jo’s wedding, and the birth of their second daughter, the photo of Jo, Alex, and Isla standing in front of the courthouse in Boston remains the centerpiece of their living room as a reminder of the sacrifices they all made to keep their family together.

Look at how my tears ricochet

[cedricslover]

Troubled pt.4

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Fem! Reader

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.5 Pt.6

Series summary: A very unfortunate situation happened and it resulted in very unfortunate events. You had everything, a good boyfriend that everyone dreamed of, best friends that you got in a twin pack, and a loving school. It was a calm before a storm and in your sixth year the storm came. You faced the consequences your deceased parents run from, you were only left with your only family, your little brother. What would you do in order to save him? The answer is, everything, even if it means joining a terrorist group of wizards, joining THE DEATH EATERS…

Chapter summary: you fell into a slump after the break up, but thankfully you had friends to somehow lighten up your mood. Not until you found out the true identity of Professor Moody, everything went downhill, just like you expected.

Note: there is no specific house:))) i can make requests if y’all have one. 

Warnings: angst, hair being pulled, mentions of cheating, slight violence (for self defense)

Word Count: 4.6k

The week went by and the next thing you knew it was already the end of the winter break. 

"Of course" you scoffed as you stood up and opened the door, "Phoebe" you said your roommate's name with boredom. "It's the last day of winter break, are you sure you're not goin' out?" She asked you-again.

"I told you. No. I'm just staying here until classes start" You declared and walked towards your four post bed, leaving the brunette girl standing at the doorway. 

"So what really happened?" She started bugging you again. She never runs out of questions ever since the Yule Ball.

"What happened is that you shut your mouth and go wherever you want" you covered yourself with the blanket while laying down on your bed. You just wanted peace, is that too much to ask. No question, no noise, because that voice in your head was loud enough. 

"Fine." She finally gave up, "I know what you're doing, and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I'm here" she said before you heard her footsteps getting far. 

You removed the blanket that covered you and sat up, slowly, the guilt crept inside you. The past days you just ignored everyone, you easily get annoyed, and the farthest place you just went was your house common room. 

You cried your eyes out the whole day whenever your roommates left the dorm, after a day of not eating anything they decided to bring you food every now and then from the Great Hall. But you still became a bitch. 

Inhale, hold, exhale, you tried relaxing yourself. Getting a grip from your intrusive thoughts, locking them up in that vault in your head. 

"For a day" you told yourself while looking at the mirror you swallowed excessively. You look terrible, not gonna lie. Your hair was messy and starting to get greasy, dark circles, and obviously dehydrated. 

So, you started with a shower, been there for an hour, scrubbing your skin and scalp. Maybe the scrubbing can remove even just a little bit of your demons, but it was ineffective. 

While looking for a sweater to wear you managed to pick up Cedric's sweater. The sweater you wore during your first anniversary.

You smiled but immediately faded, oh yeah, you two broke up. 

But isn't it just decent to bring this sweater back? You felt absolutely insane, there's a pile of Cedric's clothes in your wardrobe and you just want to give his sweater back? 

Oh please.

"Ced, can I have this?" You turned around to your boyfriend as he went out of the bathroom, water dripping from the ends of his hair and his upper body was visible. You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him when you felt your cheeks burning. 

He got this Adonis body and who wouldn't dare to blush if it was showcased in front of you.

"Absolutely love, you can have that" he said and hugged you from the back. 

"You don't mind if I steal your clothes?" You laughed and looked at him. "No. Besides, you're not stealing them" he kissed your shoulder and rested his chin on it "if you wanted to steal it, you wouldn't ask my permission" his chuckle was music to your ears. "And next time don't even bother to ask. What's mine is also yours. Alright?" He kissed the top of your head and started to look for clothes to cover his jaw dropping body. 

"Is that so? Okay. What's mine is also yours too then" you smiled and laid down on his bed while he got dressed. 

"Hmm?" Cedric crawled to you and stopped when he's on top. You smiled and scrunched your nose as his scent brushed your nose. "You smell so good." You groaned "-Merlin I fucking love you" he laughed at your statement. 

"I fucking love you more" his husky voice filled your ears before his lips pressed onto yours.

You were unconsciously smiling as you reminisced. Funny. How all of it will be mere memories, just because of this bloody mark. 

After you got dressed, you packed Cedric's clothes into a bag. Maybe you could ask someone, his roommate, friends, or just someone to give him this. You can't just let his things sit in your place, it'll be hard. 

"Y/N?" You heard Alice's voice as you stepped outside your dorm, you turned your head to the blonde girl who was standing a few feet apart from you. "Come here babe" she said and opened her arms which you occupied. "It's so nice to see you not looking miserable" she laughed and caressed your face. 

"We'll always be here okay?" She smiled sweetly at you. 

No you won't. 

But you chose not to say it.

"Phoebe!" You called your roommate who was out in the snow, snogging with a girl. Yeah, she's gay as fuck.

"Y/N?!" Her eyes widened as she looked at your direction. You waved your hand and smiled at her, as if it was the cue for her to come over.

"Wait, is that the girl you took to the ball?" You started teasing her, she turned scarlet and looked at the girl who was waiting for her. "Yeah…" she answered awkwardly that made you smile. Everything seems to be doing fine after she came out. You were so proud. 

"If you're so head over heels for her then go back there mate” you mocked the boys who always make fun of her “I'm fine, I'm just going to look for the twins while you-" you tried your best not to laugh "snog".

You walked right after and left Phoebe whose lips were curled just like her hair. She seems happy to be worried for you. But before you continued, you called her again, “Fibs... I’m sorry” you looked at her apologetically and she answered you with a sweet smile and a nod.

You walked around the castle, into the Great Hall, courtyard, some classrooms, but you can't find the twins. The last time you saw them was during the Yule Ball. Yeah, the Yule Ball that you didn’t even enjoyed.

"Are you going?" Cedric asked you when you started taking the path to your common room. 

You turned around and forced a smile at him "Yeah, just say that I'm not feeling well" it felt like every word that comes out from your mouth backfires and turns into a single needle piercing your throat. 

"Oh. Okay" he nodded without energy, it must be hard for him too. It happened so fast. This wasn't meant to happen. He wasn't supposed to know this early, but here it is. 

He started walking back to the Great Hall where you can hear the commotion, people having a great time, dancing, singing, laughing, while you will most likely spend your night in your dorm, crying in your dress that Molly bought, ruining your makeup.

"Ced" you called him one more time and he immediately turned to you, like he was expecting you to say something, something impossible. That it might be a joke, or maybe you two can do something, but if he wanted for it to be a joke, you wanted this to be a dream. All of this.

"Merry Christmas" you smiled again, but this time, it wasn't forced, it was genuine. You saw a tear left his eye before you turned your back. And by every step, you felt your heart being pulled away from you, your life, and your peace. 

"Lee!" You called the attention of the black boy with dreadlocks who was walking around the courtyard. "Have you seen the twins?" You asked as he approached you. He just shrugged as an answer and apologetically smiled right after. "It's not my business but still, you're my friend so I'll tell you. They're mad. They're probably avoiding you" Lee tapped your shoulder before he walked away. 

You were standing there, dumbfounded, full of questions. Why are they mad? Did you do something? Where are they? Is it a prank? 

And again, the voices in your head won't stop. Everything is not getting better. "Shut up" you didn't realize you said it with your voice and not just in your head. Thankfully, it just came out as a whisper. 

You hugged yourself as the cold breeze went by, but you still decided to look for the twins. 

"Fred? George?" You called on one of the secret rooms, this is where you three often hang out, you saw the box of fireworks properly labeled, you can say that the twins are more organized to their products than school stuff.

You roamed your eyes at the room, it was big enough for a bunker bed to be placed, there's also a corner for the twins' products, there was also your corner, filled with snacks, some stuffed animals you like so much, a picture of your family, and your most cherished guitar. You touched it and felt the tip of your hands travel the strings, you missed playing it, the last time you played was before your parents died. It was your mother who taught you how to play. 

"Mum it's so hard. Especially the F chord. I'm giving up." You whined to your mom as you two sat at the front porch, she was knitting a neck warmer for you to use. 

"Sweetie, of course it would be hard." She stopped and looked at you, you both definitely have the same eyes. "But it's a process. Not everything would be easy, but don't be too hard on yourself. Come here, take a break" she reached for you and you sat beside her as she wrapped the neck warmer on you.   

"You like it?" She asked you while you observed and touched the neck warmer, its soft texture, its heat. It would always feel like home while you wear this. You raised your head and smiled "I love it".

You miss your mum. You touched the neck warmer you were wearing and felt it. Maybe. You can feel her. See her again. But the only thing you felt was the fabric, no mum.

"Y/N?" You heard the twins said and you turned around. They saw your eyes that were on the verge of crying. 

"Something wrong?" George asked with full concern, they were both looking at you, confused, sad, and concerned. 

But without a word you hugged them. Tight. Then you started crying. Like a little girl crying to her parents, saying that someone stole her candy. 

"Shhh. 's alright. We're here" You heard Fred say while he caressed your hair. Meanwhile George was tapping your back. They were doing this to calm you down. 

"I miss my mom" you finally talked between your sobs. "I miss her" you wailed again. 

“What? We’re not mad” George stated as you three were laying down the bunker bed, your feet touching the ground while you three stared at the upper part, there were drawings you and the twins made when you were in your first year. 

“Lee told me you two were. Maybe he’s referring to another kind of mad” you stifled a laugh. 

“We’re not THAT mad too!” Fred exclaimed. “Alright. If you say so” you just answered. 

“Is that supposed to be a dragon Fred?” you pointed to a drawing, the parchment was getting more old but the drawing was still there. It was something that has wings and a tail. You felt him nod. “Not a lizard with wings?” you laughed and George didn’t even try to hide his laugh too. 

“Aren’t dragons just lizards with horns, wings, and fire breath?” Fred asked while you and his twin were still laughing. “Wait-” you muttered when you realized what he just asked. 

“THAT WILL MAKE TOTAL SENSE!” you three said in unison with wide eyes, still staring at all your awful drawings as a child. 

“Should we ask Charlie?” you stood up “Accio parchment” and the parchment went straight to your hand. “Is there a quill here?” you looked around, not bothering to stand. “Accio quill” you heard George and the next thing there was already a quill and ink in his hand. “Here” 

Dearest Charlie,

                       Good day lad, it is us, your favorite trio. We hast a most major question and we would appreciate if thou answer as fast as thou could. We wot thou love dragons so much and of course we love thou moe.  

 yet  the question is, art not dragons just better versions of lizards?

loving, 

Fred, George, Y/N

You three laughed as George read the letter out loud. You always do this whenever you send letters to Charlie. You all act like it was the old times, you write in Old English, and you sometimes even speak in Old English. It was something Charlie always looked forward to whenever he visited home, his dorkhead trio. 

"It's almost lights out. We should head to our dorms" you heard Fred say as he started to clean up the mess you three made. Your eyes widened and looked at George who has a lopsided smile. 

"Am I alive? Is this heaven? Or am I dreaming? Is this real? Frederick Gideon Weasley is afraid of lights out? He's following the curfew? Pinch me George" you shifted your gaze to Fred and George, it was utmost not Fred-like to say “we should go back before lights out” he liked sneaking back, he liked ruining the dark and quiet halls. Why would he say such a thing?

"Ow!" You glared at George who actually pinched your arm, "It was just an expression!" You widened your eyes as you rubbed your arm, he just laughed and apologized to you.

"No but on a serious note, why is he, FIRST OF ALL, cleaning?" You and George looked at Fred who was now arranging the wizard chessboard that you used, "-and told us to go back BEFORE lights out?" You crossed your arm and still stared at Fred, squinting your eyes at him, he finally stopped. 

"Fine fine, it's because-" Fred started talking again and stopped, he looked at George who was beside you and his look was saying 'SOS help me' but George just ignored him and continued to fix his shirt-that in fact there is nothing to fix, therefore 'pretend fixing' are the right words.

"I promised to Angelina that I'll go back before lights out" he said with a low voice, more like, whispering. 

"Huh? What? I can't hear you" you tilted your head while George was biting his inner cheek in order to not laugh. 

"I promised-" you interrupted him

"LOUDER!"

"I SAID I PROMISED ANGELINA THAT I'LL GO BACK BEFORE LIGHTS OUT!" He shouted back that made you stiff, and then, you and George broke down again, laughing. "I heard it the first time" you said between your laughs, waving your hand at him, while Fred seemed to be annoyed but trying his best not to laugh too. 

Your laugh and George's laugh are the only ones that were heard in the closed room, it was contagious and after a minute of trying his best not to be on the same boat as you two, Fred finally gave up and laughed with you and his twin.

"You're not going back yet?" George asked you when you didn't come to the door with them, you shake your head in response. 

"Uhm, alright, just don't get caught" he said and the two of them waved at you before stepping out. 

Now the room was filled again with silence, gone was the chaos, the laughing, shouting, the running, and even throwing of things. It was only you and the silence. 

After half an hour of just staring at nowhere you decided to stand up. You picked up the lamp and headed out. You forgot your wand at your dorm and you've probably never said stupid to yourself so many times. 

Walking the hallway, still being cautious to your surroundings, you don’t want Filch or Mrs. Norris seeing you, polishing the trophies without using magic is one thing you don’t want to do. 

As you walked, feeling the walls, slowly gliding your hand through it, you suddenly saw a silhouette, it was a man, thinking that might be another student you stepped closer until his back was quite visible, but still it was far enough for him to not notice you. You observed him more, all your attention was to this man. 

His black trench coat, straw coloured hair, he was not familiar to you. 

You followed him, for about 2 minutes in complete silence, even your footsteps were light in order to not make any unnecessary noises. You just concentrated on the man and to yourself that you didn’t realize you bumped into a suit of armor and it made a loud clang. You hit your head hard and was about to curse when suddenly someone grabbed your wrist from behind and dragged you into a space between the walls, the person covered your mouth and blew the lamp. 

It was a helpful gesture to be honest, because you then hitched when you saw the silhouette walking in front of the both of you. You looked at the person in front of you, you can’t recognize his face, it’s so dark that you can only hear footsteps of the man you were following, he was still phasing, looking around to see what might have made that noise.

You didn't waste any time, you moved to the spot where you can see clearly and was shocked to see Professor Moody. Without any hesitation you ran towards him 

“Professor!” you seemed panicking, while he was shocked, he looked at you with disbelief and you were confused why he was making such an expression. 

“Professor I saw a-” you were cut on by someone putting its arm over your shoulder. 

“She saw heaven professor, if y’know what I mean” the person said, you froze, how can you be dumb enough to not know. 

“Silly kids. Off to bed. You two better go, Filch might come” Moody said and turned its back to you,

and Cedric

After Moody disappeared in your sight you immediately removed Cedric’s arm that wrapped you. “What do you think you’re doing?” you took a step back to make a space for you two, and the moon was just right on time to shine between you. There you saw a clear view of him, his stance, his fluffy hair, his grey eyes, everything.

He didn’t answer and just stared at you, “He might have caught that person, you saw it too, that man was not from here” you tried not to shout, you were frustrated, scared, you didn’t want to think about it, but if danger is lurking around at Hogwarts only two people are the possible targets. 

You and Harry. 

“Did you see his face?” he finally talked, you looked at him with shock all over your face, “NO, I didn’t, I just saw his back, but I know he’s not anyone I know, or if it’s a student he would be  familiar” 

He covered half of his face with a hand, gliding it down to his jaw, while his other hand was on his hips, it was an act of frustration. 

“That’s the point, you didn’t see his face, but you saw the back, and the clothes.” he got his wand “Lumos” there it is, you can see clearly. But you don’t know what to think about.

Is it your ex boyfriend who was in front of you in the middle of the night or the fact that the danger might be lurking around Hogwarts, and you being completely oblivious, almost trusted them.

 After that encounter with Cedric before the term started , you avoided him, even if it is quite hard since you two have classes together you still managed. There was nothing more in that conversation, after he lit up the tip of his wand you walked and ran, not thanking him, not talking to him, you just ran back to your dorm, not minding the dark hall, you just trust your instinct to where it would take you and luckily, you arrived safely.

January came by and it’s almost February, you were the talk of the school, you and Cedric. When people started to notice that you two were not walking to class together, sitting at the Great Hall together, no PDA, a lot of rumor started. And Rita Skeeter just made it worse.

“What’s that?” Angelina sat beside you as you read the Witch Weekly. You gave it to her and stabbed your steak, wishing it was Rita. 

“PRETTY BOYS CAN BE PLAYED AROUND, what is this?” She read the headline,

“Hogwarts Champion Cedric Diggory and ex girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N cause of break up revealed. Hold up, is this you and George?!” Angie looked at you like her heart just dropped, you shook your head to deny it and glanced at your food again. 

“Then who is this?” she surveyed the moving picture with full attention, well if you didn’t know better you would also believe the article, “Georgie’s girl” it was morning but you felt the energy draining from you, “Please don’t tell anyone. Fred knows” you continued and tried to take a bite, but you felt your stomach turn upside down. 

It was a picture of George kissing a girl the same hair color as yours, her face was covered as George’s back was at the camera. 

“I’m so sorry boo” she hugged you and you felt her warmth, you just stayed there for a while, laying on her shoulder, you’re not crying, but you wished you were. 

“Shit” you blurted out as you opened Professor Moody’s office, he must be at class now so the coast should be clear. 

“Alastor Moody?” you called with a low voice, you jumped as one compartment started to rattle. Slowly but surely you went up to it. However, before you can even touch it you are pushed sideways, you hit your hip on a table and your sleeve might have been grazed in a sharp object within the room for it to be torn. 

“Well well if it isn’t Y/N Y/L/N” Professor Moody was right in front of you now, you felt your insides shaking adding up to the pain of your hip, you know this is not Alastor Moody. 

“I guess you figured it out?” he said and suddenly, his face started to disorient, it was changing into something, it was changing into his original face. 

And you saw it, you know him.

“Hi, I’m Barty Crouch” he introduced himself, removing the wooden leg and eye. You got your wand and pointed it to him. “What are you doing here?” you said with full confidence, you tried to not shake, you have to gain control in this situation. 

“Don’t worry, we’re on the same team” he pulled his sleeves up and you saw a dark mark, he then pointed to your dark mark that is now visible because of your torn sleeve. 

“D’you wanna see him? He’s like a malnourished pup” Barty laughed maniacally as he opened the trunk, it had many locks, many layers, and when he got to the seventh one he gestured to you to come over. You were still holding your wand, preparing offensive and defensive spells just in case, but your mind went blank when you saw what was lying in the last layer of the trunk.

You looked down into a pit-like, underground chamber, where the real Alastor Moody lay 10 feet below, sleeping, lean and starving in appearance. His wooden leg was missing, and chunks of hair were missing, the socket that should have housed the magical eye was empty.

“That’s Mad-Eye Moody” Barty whispered to you, your hand was shaking, you felt numb, you can’t move, you didn’t even realize that you forgot to breathe for a second. He was there, the real Moody, the person you should trust, not the impostor. 

But who should you trust? You’re a death eater, the others won’t trust you, only your fellow death eaters and the Dark Lord will.

“If you tell anyone,” Barty slowly gathered your hair and pulled it downwards, now you’re not looking down but rather up, your hair was being pulled by a guy, you panicked, and the adrenaline started to kick in. 

You locked his hand by holding it with both of yours, you stepped back, you went under his arm and up again, and started twisting it until he let go. 

It was just one of the defenses your father taught you, it always came in handy. He was still in pain by your twisting of his arm so you took that opportunity and kicked his back, his face fell on the floor and you locked his hands while you kneeled on his back.

“Why would I tell anyone? My family is important to me, unlike yours” you declared and put him to sleep with a sleeping charm. “I don’t have time to die” you whispered and stood up. Walking to the trunk you closed it, now seeing Mad-Eye Moody awake, and before you closed it, you catched a sight of his eye, looking at you. 

You glanced at the picture that was crumpled in your hand, 

It was Cedric, and the skull and serpent sign that the Dark Lord uses was drawn just enough to be noticed. You knew exactly what the message portrayed. 

Cedric’s life is also in line, just like your brother. 

And only one thing can be done to put a stop to this. 

You first looked at your target audience, Mad-Eye Moody or more like, Barty Crouch Jr. When you spotted him it was your cue to find your victim, but it's like luck was on your side, he was coming to you. 

You stood up and came face to face with him. He was red, not blushing, but because of anger, but there was also sadness in his eyes that made you want to back out, but you remembered. You want him out of any danger. So, you faced him, your head high and looking stoic.

“You cheated on me?” His voice was low but full of frustration, “yes” you announced and look at his friends who were behind him. 

“No” he shakes his head, trying to deny it. “Look at me in the eyes and say that.” he focused on your eyes and you almost broke down your character when you saw Barty gawking at the both of you, “Yes. I cheated on you. With my best friend.” your voice surprisingly didn’t break, but his heart obviously did. His face was full of pain, he was vulnerable, but after a second his face went dull similar to yours. 

Cedric turned his back on you and your heart completely shattered as you saw he was still wearing the bracelet you made and the matching rings you two had. That’s why he was looking at your ring finger earlier, the ring was not there anymore, you made it into a necklace, perfectly hidden because of your uniform.

“At least she’s honest about it” one of his friends says before looking at you, giving you a half smile and continuing to follow Cedric. 

“Y/N? What was that for? You said it wasn’t you, were you lying?” Angie tugged you down to your seat earlier. “I was lying-” you admitted, reaching to your bag, “but not to you” and you stood up and left her with lines forming between her eyebrows. 

If it is for the better. I’ll do it.

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

They’ll pay...(HC)

Requested by a candy-cotton Anon: Oh hhhhh what if, what if,, you do something where there's a very dangerous mission going on and Damian gets injured to the point of being rushed back to the cave with someone while everyone else (including reader) has to complete the mission and Damian just gets real worried about everything, tries to escape, yknow normal Dami stuff hehe (1/2) Hiiii I was the one with the worrying Damian thing I forgot to add: you get to decide the ending on whether or not the reader is still alive and prolly injured or.... The very thing that will break Damian. (another thing: they in a relationship ehe) thanks bye luv ya (2/2)

Warning: A bit angsty ya know my guys, but I didn’t decide to go the whole ten yards with it, hope y’all enjoy, also, I decided to make it Headcanons, because it wasn’t specified what the Anon wanted and I kinda felt like it

Okay so it isn’t uncomment that Damian hurts himself on missions

To be fair it isn’t uncommen for any of you

That’s just the risk you take

Fighting villains doesn’t really happen by itself does it now?

But it was somewhat seldom for any of you to be hurt enough to have to be actually brought back to the Cave by someone else

But during one fight against a way-too-good coordinated gang of seriel-robbers, they came out of nothing but fought like they had been in the buisness for ages, exactly that happened

Damian recieved a few punches and kicks too many and was in no state to continue fighting

You were currently occupied with defending yourself against the blows and bullets that were coming from all around you so you were not able to get to him and bring him home by yourself, but Duke was luckily near enough to get to him and get him out as quick as possible

Damian is not happy

He may be in pain and wants nothing more than to sleep for a week, but it’s still Damian we’re talking about

He’s a little fury-filled demon who will not go down without a fight

Even if he already lost the fight (more or less)

He’s exhausted enough to let Duke bring him to the cave, but then his thoughts get the best of him

If he, the son of Batman and the grandson of the demon, couldn’t hold himself against these criminals, how could you?

After that it’s spiralling out of controle

All the different scenarios go through his head and he can still hear the voices of his family talking with Alfred through the comms

He can’t continue fighting no matter what he tells himself and he sure as hell isn’t good at sneaking right now

He tries to

Wants to sneak away from Alfred and get back to the fight

It’s not like you could escape from Alfred anyways

But the fact that he’s groaning after every step doesn’t really help

After a while Alfred had enough and basically ties Damian to the hospital bed

He completely wears himself out by trying to escape, to no avail, and falls asleep

When he wakes up Bruce is sitting on the side of his bed with a sombre look on his face and all the worry he felt comes right back

In his mind there is only one reason why Bruce would be there and look like that

Shit shit shit shit shit

No this can’t be happening

There’s no way

Turns out there is actually no way, because before he can even say anything you come in with wet hair and a blue eye that must hurt a lot

“I told you he would wake up as soon as I left to take a shower,” you chuckled and came over to him to give him a kiss on his forehead

Bruce excused himself and said he had to look after the others who all had taken quite a beating

“Your eye,” Damian would mutter and carefully trace the outline of the blue mark 

“Meh, it’s not that bad, you should see the other guy,” you chuckled again only to wince in pain, “Even though he did quite a job on a few of my ribs”

“They’ll pay” - grumpy Damian­­™