#it will come in waves like god I really want a drink. but it kinda passes by faster than it did before

[doggerell]

being sober actually kinda fucking rules

[ghostboneswrites2]

Virgin

Summary: Reader is a virgin. Daryl might as well be.

Alexandria // pre-Negan era ; established but unlabeled relationship

Super mild corruption kink vibes (if you squint) on both sides. Reader is a nervous wreck, Daryl is kinda clueless but charming, skilled, and smooth as ever.

This is long and I'm not sorry about it.

18+ MDNI || Warnings: slight age gap, oral (fem receiving), unprotected p-in-v, generally embarrassingly graphic and descriptive smut, drinking (not drunk sex), loss of virginity, profanity

        Your hands shook as you filled two glasses with whiskey. Daryl would be over any minute. You had this date planned all week. Daryl was typically pretty busy with his bike or recruiting with Aaron, but he always made time for you when he could. Neither of you ever put a label to it -- boyfriend, girlfriend, partners, lovers -- it was all the same and those words never uttered from either of your lips. It just was what it was, and it made you both happy, whatever that meant. You did, however, often wonder what you really were to him. You liked to think he'd always choose you, but how could you know? You never would, not until it came down to an issue where you were a choice over something else. 

        You replayed your conversation with Rosita in your head all day, pacing nervously in your shared home with Rosita and Tara as you tried to rationalize how you would move forward with this newfound information.

        "So, spill! How is it with Daryl?" Rosita asked curiously, drawing out Daryl's name with a sultry, mocking tone.

        "Oh, things are good! He's coming over tonight, actually." You smiled softly to yourself.

        "No, dummy!" She giggled, slapping your arm playfully. "I mean in bed! Is he rough? Tender? Does he have any weird fetishes? Is he a boob guy or an ass guy? I peg him for an ass guy but I could be wrong."

        "Uh -- What?" You were stunned? In bed? You really never thought about that.

        "Come on, don't be greedy! Share the details!" Rosita practically begged.

        "Details.. Right. Well, there aren't any, really." You said slowly.

        "What?" She gasped. "Don't tell me he's the vanilla missionary type."

        "Vanilla what? No, I just mean we haven't really.."

        "You haven't had sex?!" She gawked at you. "(Y/N), stop right now."

        "Is that a bad thing?"

        "Men have needs, (Y/N). And so do we! It's the end of the world!" She shook your shoulders. "You gotta get your rocks off!"

        Rocks off? What did that even mean? You weren't really that much younger than him. You were twenty when the dead began to roam the earth. But, you were a virgin then, and you were still one now. You never liked anyone enough to get so vulnerable with them. You heard the rumors at school when girls would give it up 'too easily,' or when the guys at your jobs would be snickering about a girl they slept with. What her boobs were like, how she sounded, all the flaws they found with her body. You just thought it would be so foolish to put yourself out there like that, to be one of those girls they were talking about. How could you ever trust someone enough to see and feel every part of you after all of that?

        It wasn't that you didn't get turned on. You did, as much as anyone else. You  just took care of yourself. Plus, it wasn't like the apocalypse provided many opportunities for your first time.. Or did it? Had you been missing signals? Passing by your chances to get naked with someone? Did he even want that? How would you approach it?

        A knock at the door yanked you out of your thoughts. Oh god, was he there already? Was it time to get your rocks off?

        "Hey!" You grinned anxiously at Daryl as you swung the door open. He noticed your nerves right away. He raised an eyebrow.

        "Hey." He greeted. "Y'alright?"

        "Huh? Oh! Yeah." You waved him off. 

        "Well, uh, can I come in?" He asked. You realized you were standing there, blocking his entry, which you never did. You always threw the door open and walked away, allowing him to enter on his own accord and make himself comfortable. You internally facepalmed. 

        "Oh, duh." You chuckled as you stepped aside and shut the door behind him. "I poured us some drinks."

        "Cool." He nodded, stepping over to the table where two equally filled glasses stood waiting. He grabbed one and took a sip.

        You glanced him over. Clean clothes, no sweaty smell; he bathed for you. His eyes scanned you just as quick. He was a little surprised at your dress. It wasn't extravagant, just a floral sundress that fit you in all the right places,but you never wore dresses unless Rosita and Tara forced you for an event. You were more of a jeans and a tee kind of gal.

        "Pretty dress." He complimented.

        "Thanks." You blushed, smoothing your hands over it.

        "Rosita make ya wear that for me?" He wondered as he took another sip.

        "Oh! No. I just-- Uh.." You stuttered. God, why were you so nervous? He had to know something was up. You never struggled to talk to him. He was you dearest companion.

        "Just wanted to look pretty for me." He concluded with a smirk. Your face felt like it was melting right off the bone.

        You chuckled nervously and grabbed your own glass, taking a gulp, hoping to calm your nerves.

        "Sure you're alright?" He asked again.

        "Mm-hm!" You hummed with an eager nod. "I'm fine!"

        He shook his head and swirled the liquid around in his glass. 

        "You, uh.. Find us a movie for tonight?" 

        "A movie..? Oh! Right! Yes." You hurried over to the coffee table where a copy of School of Rock sat idly. "Do you like Jack Black?"

        "Mm-mm." He shrugged. "Think I've seen his stuff before."

        "Oh! He's funny. My brother used to watch all of his movies. Did you know he had a band?" You rambled.

        "Nah." He shook his head. "Didn't know."

        "It started with a T I think. I can't remember what they were called." You went on as you bent over to set the disc in the tray and get the movie ready. When you turned around you nearly dropped your glass. He was standing right behind you. "Oh.." You breathed. "You scared me."

        She studied your every feature, trying to figure you out. You were never a mystery to him. He liked that. You never seemed to be keeping anything from him, never had an ulterior motive. You were always a raw person. He never had to try and decipher you like he felt he had to with most girls he liked in the past.

        "Why you actin' weird?" He asked in a low husk.

        "Weird?" You squeaked. "I'm not--"

        "Ya are." He argued. "Real weird. And you never wear dresses."

        "I do wear dresses sometimes--"

        "Only when someone makes ya.You don't ever gotta dress up for me. Ya know that." 

        "W-- I know, I just.."

        "Then why?" He catechized you mercilessly. Your knees felt weak under the weight of this burden of nerves and unsureness.

        "I just..." You were at a loss. How could you play this off? You decided to try your best with whatever your brain could muster for an excuse. You straightened up and crossed your arms. "I just thought it'd be nice to look good for you, Daryl Dixon. Is that a problem?"

        He smirked a little, finding amusement in your sad excuse for confidence. He shook his head. "Nah, no problem at all."

        "Good. Now, excuse me so I can get out movie started."

----

        About a half hour into the movie and you were still imploding. Was it time to make the move? How could you do that when you couldn't even bare to look at him? Hell, you two had never even kissed. You just... Watched movies, sat close enough to be touching, snuck off on forest strolls, you know, normal things. Or was that not normal? Were you supposed to have initiated something more by now?

        He had been sneaking little glances at you the whole time, registering your faint expressions of worry. What was on your mind that had you so riled up? Had he done something? He doubted it. So what was it?

        His arm that was outstretched on the back of the couch behind you twitched a little. He moved to play with your hair but you stood up abruptly. "I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back." 

        You sped off to the upstairs bathroom and looked in the mirror. Your internal battles were written all over your face. He had to know something was up. Actually, you knew he did, because he asked you what was wrong like three times before the movie began. Shit, what now?

        You took a breath and splashed some cold water over your face in efforts to ground yourself, patting it dry with a hand towel. Okay, (Y/N). It's time. Get over your fears and just make the move. As soon as you figure out what the move is, anyways.

        Maybe you could just kiss him and he'd initiate the rest. That's how it works in the movies sometimes, right? Right. Exactly. You got this. Just go down there, and kiss him. No questions asked.

        So, you marched down the stairs, strode to the couch, and froze, staring down at him with wide eyes as he sat there with a questioning gaze. Shit, what were you doing again?

        "Everything alright?" He finally broke the silence that was somehow louder than the audio from the movie.

        "What?" You asked, stunned, forgetting you had just stomped all the way down stairs and right over to him and then froze, blocking his view of the movie. "Oh, uh--"

        He stood up just then, piercing blue eyes beaming into you.

        "Y'gon' tell me what the hell's got your panties all in a wad or what?" He asked impatiently. "You're freakin' me out."

        "I am?" You mumbled. "I just.."

        Oh, screw it. You're backed into a corner, now. You only have one option. As quick as you could, you tippy-toed up and pecked him on the lips. You face turned red immediately. A small, amused smile crept up at the corners of his lips.

        "All that just to kiss me?" He chuckled. "Didn't have to dress up for that."

        "What? Uh -- Oh. Well, I.." You stumbled and tripped over your thoughts. It wasn't just to kiss him, and his reaction was not what you anticipated. Where was the movie moment? The fireworks and explosions? Wasn't he supposed to grab you by the cheeks and kiss you passionately and carry you to bed? What the hell?

        "Ya what? Were ya that nervous? Thought I'd bite or somethin'?" He joked.

        Bite? Is that a sex thing?

        It was all too much. You were in way over your head. You had no idea how this was supposed to work. You felt nauseous, your face was numb, and suddenly you felt it rising from your gut to your throat. Was it vomit? Yes, but not the material kind.

`        "Rosita said we should have sex!"You blurted, eyes wide like saucers as you slapped your hand over your mouth to keep anything else from escaping.

        Word vomit.

        Daryl was stunned completely. It took him a minute to process what you had said. He blinked.

        "Rosita said what?" He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows. "Don't listen to that. Don't gotta do that  just 'cause she said. We can do that when ya want to, not when someone tells ya."

        He turned around and took his empty glass back to the kitchen, shaking his head and trying not to laugh. It was admittedly adorable that the thought of going to bed with him would mess you up so bad all night. 

        You were still frozen solid with your hand over your mouth as he grabbed the bottle of whisky. You dropped your hand to your side and looked around for your glass. You picked it up off the coffee table and gulped down the last half of it. Just as he was starting to pour is second serving, you spoke up.

        "I do want to."

        He paused, peering up at you through his eyelashes without actually moving his head up to show you his face. He set the bottle down and thought for a moment.

        "Uh, sex -- I mean." You clarified. Again, he tried not to laugh. There was no need for clarification. His deductive reasoning was very much adequate to handle such a statement.

        He shook his head and poured his glass before he walked back over to you.

        "Do ya now?" He asked quietly, eyeing you intensely as he took a swig. You swallowed a lump in your throat. Why did you feel so dry all of a sudden? He seemed to read your mind as he offered you a sip from his glass, which you gladly took.

        "I do." You said unsteadily, failing to feign confidence.

        "Ya sure?"

        "Why wouldn't I be?" You raised a brow, crossing your arms. He took the glass out of your hand and set it on the coffee table.

        "Ya been drinkin'."

        "I'm not drunk."

        "But it wasn't your idea to begin with." He pointed out. "Le'me ask ya.. If Rosita never said nothin', would ya even be considerin' this right now?"

        You didn't respond. He had a point.

        "Exactly." He confirmed, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "We don't gotta rush into nothin' like that."

        "I've thought about it." You blurted. Blurting was quickly becoming a habit of yours, you were learning. You gulped.

        "Have ya now?" He smirked. He knew that already. Of course you did, just like he had plenty of times. You were both adults with desires. He wasn't blind to that.

        "Uh-huh." You nodded slowly. "Every time I--"

        Your hand slapped over your mouth again. What were you doing? Were you really about to admit that you fantasized about him every time you touched yourself?

        "Every time ya what?" He raised his eyebrows tauntingly. "Played with yourself? That's okay." He shrugged. "Everybody does that and if they say they don't, they're lyin'. What're you supposed to think about? Ya supposed to count the cracks in the ceilin' or somethin?"

        While he enjoyed the way you squirmed under the pressure of this conversation, he still wanted to make light of it. He joked to make it easier for you.

        "Do you think about it?" You asked quietly. His face lit up a little. It was much more amusing when the spotlight was on you. 

        "I mean," he shrugged. "What else would I think about?"

        You blushed. He thinks about you when he touches himself too?

        "I dunno.." You shrugged sheepishly. "I just..." You realized how foolish and childlike you must have looked to him right there. You straightened up and held your head high. "Well, I want to."

        "I don't think ya mean that."

        "I do." You insisted.

        He looked you over. He definitely wasn't opposed to the idea, but he was nervous. He had no idea what kind of experience a pretty girl like you would have over his drunken one nighters and failed attempts at relationships in the past. You never told him you were a virgin. After all, it never came up.

        "Okay." He nodded. "Wha'd'ya wanna do, then?"

        You faltered. What?

        "What?"

        "Wha'd'ya wanna do?" He asked again. 

        "Uh..." You glanced around the room. What did he mean? How many ways were there to... What? "I wanna... have.. sex?" You said, more as a question than a definitive. 

        "Uh-huh. But there's lots o' ways to have sex." 

        He plopped back down on the couch, glancing at the movie credits rolling behind you. He had a feeling you'd back out when you realized that you were in over your head.

        "Um, I want to..." You waded through the marshy wetland of thoughts and memories inside your head, trying to recall every piece of erotic information you had ever known. What was it Rosita had said? "Vanilla missionary?"

        He stifled a laugh. "Oh yeah? That's all?"

        Well, shit, man. What the hell else did he want from you?"

        "And..." You trailed off. 

        "Y'ain't ready for all that yet." He spoke up for you.

        "I am too!" 

        "No, y'ain't." He shook his head, still clearly amused.

        "I am! I just.... I need you to teach me." You said.

        "Teach ya what?"

        "I'm... I'm a virgin." You said just above a whisper. Wow, that was embarrassing to say out loud. He nearly choked. He was not expecting that. At least it meant you wouldn't have high expectations that he couldn't meet or something.

        "Really?" 

        "Yeah." You nodded. "But, I'm an adult and I know what I want. So, show me." You demanded.

----

        After a long battle to get him there, you finally had him in  your room. Both of you just standing there awkwardly in the dim light of a small lamp beside your bed.

        "So." You began.

        "Mm." He hummed, stepping closer to you, running a finger over your shoulder to brush  the hair off of it.

        "Do you... Wanna kiss me?" You asked. A small smile just barely spread on his lips. Of course he did. He just hoped he could make it as tender and special as you deserved.

        He leaned in slowly and brushed his lips against yours, hovering there for a moment before he connected with them fully. Slow, sweet rhythm was what he aimed for. He wasn't sure how he was doing, but when he went to pull back and you followed him like a magnet, he figured he was doing okay.

        He kissed you a little longer, hands resting gently on your sides to keep you steady as you swooned for him. If he hadn't been so sure he had to be the lead in this whole scenario, he would have melted into a puddle. Your lips were so soft, and you were just so damn sweet. He loved how eager you were for him. He just couldn't imagine taking advantage of you, which was why he made you walk in a straight line before he brought you up to your room. Just in case you had more to drink than he thought.

        When he pulled away for real this time, you were desperate for more.

        "Why'd you stop?" You pouted under your breath. He let out a soft chuckle.

        "All in time, darlin'." He said as he guided you back to the bed. The back of your knees hit the mattress and you sat down.

        "Now what?" You asked. He considered your question.

        "Lay down." He instructed softly.  You did. 

        He crawled over you. Your heart began to pound. Was this it?

        He leaned down into your neck and started planting small kisses along the length of it. You gasped quietly. It tickled in the best way. Your hands naturally gravitated to his chest, resting them against him. He trailed his lips down to your collarbone as his finger slid the spaghetti strap of your dress down over your shoulder to keep it out of the way. His kisses lined over your collarbone and all over your chest, at least the upper half. You laid your hands on his shoulders.

        He hadn't even touched you anywhere significant but your panties were absolutely soaked. Your eyelids fluttered a little. Why did this feel so good already?

        He went to tug your dress down to expose your breasts but he paused. He looked up at you. "This okay?" He whispered as his finger hooked the dress. You nodded. He slid it down and took a moment to admire the sight beneath him. You were braless. Your nipples hardened with the cold air. Goosebumps peppered over your supple flesh.

        He leaned down and went back to kissing softly around the mounds of breast, one hand gripping gently as he wrapped his lips around your nipple and sucked. You gasped audibly at the sensation, reminding him that he was doing things right. Your hips twitched as the sensitive nerves shot tingles all the way down to your your pussy. Your walls twitched.

        He worked his way to the other nipple, earning the same reaction. He bravely nibbled ever so gently on the second one, pulling the tiniest whine right out of your throat. He smirked a little. So reactive, you were. He almost felt guilty, like he was taking some kind of innocence away from you. Something you could never get back, not that you'd want to.

        His hands slid up your outer thighs. He looked at you again for permission. You nodded. He slid the dress up over your hips and started kissing and nibbling your inner thighs. You twitched and exhaled at the more sensitive spots, and when he got as close as he could to your panties without actually touching them, he pulled back and looked up at you. You were flushed and eager, and it was killing him inside. He smirked again and placed a quick little kiss over your panties, right where he guessed your clit would be. You gasped and jerked at the sudden pressure. He hooked his finger under the waistline of your jeans, again, glancing up at you for permission. You didn't nod this time.

        "Please.." You whispered. 

        He was on top of the world. Hell, he owned the universe. You were begging him for something he had dreamt of giving you.

        He slid your panties down your thighs and over your feet, tossing them to the side somewhere. He stared down at your glistening slit. You were already dripping.

        He traced a single finger over the front of your pelvis, feeling the smooth, freshly shaved skin beneath his callous.

        "Ya didn't have to shave for me." He whispered. You blushed.

        "I just--"

        "Shh. It's okay." He cooed, gently running that same finger down your slit with painful gentleness. Your mouth gaped immediately, eyebrows pressed together. You had touched yourself plenty, but it felt so different when he did it. So new. "All this for me?" He teased, holding up his finger coated in your wetness. You blushed again. He raised his finger to his mouth and sucked it clean. You watched, helplessly infatuated with the dreamy sight below. Dreamy. Were you dreaming?

        He lowered his face down, kissing softly over your lips before he finally swiped his tongue through your slit. You jerked and gasped, as you did for the next few seconds as he started to acclimate you to the sensation of his tongue.

        "Relax." She whispered. You gasped again when his tongue glided flatly over your cunt, but you let out a shaky exhale and did as he said. You relaxed. When he felt you melt down into the bed, that was when he really got to work, flicking his tongue over and around your clit until he found a rhythm that you responded to. Your breaths and inhales slowly blended into a pattern of moans and tiny whines. He had you now, exactly how he needed you. Comfortable in bliss.

        He slowed his pace then sped it up a few times, memorizing every reaction your body had to offer. When he stopped licking and started sucking on your clit, he slid a single finger inside you. If you were a virgin he was gonna have to loosen you up and get you ready. He wasn't one to gloat, but he was probably thicker than most, so he knew you'd need as much help as you could get.

        You let out a moan as his digit slid inside you. That paired with the ache in your clit as he sucked at it was giving you visions of stars.

        He got back to licking in little circles over your clit, slow at first, but then he sped up. He slipped another finger in, massaging your insides as your legs began to shake around his shoulders. 

        "Oh god."  You breathed. You felt a buzz in your lower half, a warm feeling building in your lower abdomen. You were getting close, and he could tell. He wanted to make you wait. He wanted you to be as eager for his cock as you were for his mouth. However, he wasn't entirely sure he'd last that long. You were so tight around his fingers, convulsing and pulsating, and he hadn't felt the inside of a woman in a long time.

        So, he took you all the way. He kept his pace with his tongue and fingers as he built you up, brick by brick, until you crumbled. It didn't take long at all. You shuddered and let out a loud moan, hips rocking against his face as you trembled and whined and rode out your orgasm. 

        It was more than you could have ever anticipated. Your fingers were nothing compared to what he had just done to you. You didn't think you'd ever recover.

        He slowed down, just barely gliding his tongue over your clit and twitching his fingers inside you to ensure you rode out the full length of your high, only pulling away and slipping out when he was sure you were overstimulated enough.

        Your chest was rising and dropping as you stared down at him and his wet mess of a chin. Your lids were heavy. He climbed back up to your face and planted a kiss on your forehead before he stood up off the bed and began to strip.

        Oh, right, the sex part. You had forgotten entirely. Your eyes fixated on the bulge under his boxers. They grew wide when he slid those off, too, and the sight of his bare cock hit you. It was long and thick, and you had no idea how you were going to take all that. He didn't expect you to, though. He'd try of course, but he'd be carefully monitoring for any signs of pain.

        When he climbed back on top of you, you stared up at him nervously. He leaned down and left little kisses along your jaw before finally resting his lips on yours. You ran your fingers through his hair as you kissed him back.

        "Ya still want this?" He mumbled against you.

        "Yes." You whispered. 

        He took your approval and looked down and guided his tip to your entrance. You bit your lip with anticipation when you felt the hard pressure of his head against you. He looked at you. You nodded. With that final gesture, he pushed the tip in. Your face contorted. He watched you as he pushed in a little more, and a little more, stopping when you whimpered.

        "Y'alright?"

        "Uh-huh." You squeaked.

        "Y'sure?"

        "Yeah. Keep going. I want you to." You insisted. Well, if you insisted.

        He pushed in further, achingly slow until he bottomed out. When the base of his shaft connected with your pelvis, your eyes widened. You let out a deep moan. Your own fingers could neve stretch you that way, could never reach that far inside you. It was an entirely new feeling. You couldn't tell how you liked it just yet.

        When you didn't protest, he pulled out and pumped back in, slowly at first, soft strokes, until your body relaxed and you were visibly acclimated. 

        When he was confident you could take it, that was when he sped up, fucking you harder and  faster by the minute. Your body tensed up around him. He could feel your walls clench and pulsate around his cock. He was starting to think you might cum again.

        He leaned into your ear.

        "Can ya cum again for me?"

        Your eyes glazed over, lids falling lazily over the majority of your vision. Between your moans and whimpering you managed to choke out the words; "I-- I think so.."

        "Mm." He growled lowly. You gripped his arms tightly, tuning out every thought as you pictured his cock pumping in and out of you, hitting that sensitive spot inside you that you had no idea existed until that moment. A familiar warmth washed over you. Tension in your stomach built and built, until finally.

        "Yes!" You gasped, as if answering his question again.

        "C'mon, girl.." He panted. He was also terrifyingly close, teetering on the edge. He only held back in hopes he'd squeeze another orgasm out of you first.

        A high pitched whine escaped you as your body buzzed, shivers crawling over you as you came. If your sounds weren't enough, he could feel the pulsation around his cock and he knew he was almost in the clear. He clenched his jaw, trying as hard as he could to hold it back while he fucked you through your climax. Eventually he just couldn't take it anymore. 

        He pulled out as fast as he could, groaning as he stroked and milked hot cum out onto your stomach. You were breathless and sex drunk as you laid limp on the bed, watching him. When he caught his breath, he leaned down and grabbed your panties. He used them to wipe you clean of your own juices and his, before doing the same for himself.

        "Ya gon' make it?" He teased you in your incapacitated state.

        "Yep." You said lazily. "'Cause I'm gonna need  more."

        He chuckled. "I need time to--"

        "I meant tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day." 

Join the taglist! || Masterlist

Tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck

[peppermintquartz]

"Evan?"

"Yes, babe?"

"Were you ever interested in Eddie?"

Buck nearly chokes on his juice. Coughing, he waves aside Tommy's startled concern. "Uh, I kinda need to. Okay. Are we talking in general or, like, specifically romantic attraction? Sexual attraction?"

Tommy shrugs. He's still shirtless at the moment, which means the morning light gilds his chest (and chest hair) in gold and bronze. Buck has seen this sight for months now, and he still utters a silent thanks to God for making Tommy's nipples ultra sensitive.

"Evan?" The older man tilts his head quizzically.

Oh, right. Buck sits back in his chair. "I guess I did kinda feel some way about him when he first showed up? I mean, he's good-looking. And he has very pretty eyes."

Tommy is chewing on a bite of sausage. "So how come you never made a move on him?"

"I don't know. Never thought about it, really. I mean, once he showed me Christopher, I just wanted to know more about the kid." Buck takes another careful sip of his guava juice. "And after that, either I was dating someone or he was dating. We were just punks trying to get through our own stuff. I never even considered it." He frowns at Tommy. "Why? What's got you asking?"

Tommy glances at his scrambled eggs and shifts in his seat. "Last night, when I was out with Hen and Chimney, they talked about you two being best buds. And Hen said that she'd thought you two would've made a cute couple." His cheeks flush a dark pink. "That was after several rounds of drinks, but, uh, it stuck in my head."

Feeling annoyed at Hen, Buck reaches under the table to pat Tommy's knee, knowing that it will be restlessly bouncing. His boyfriend, Mr Tommy "So Cool" Kinard, needing Buck's reassurance before he can once again be at ease in his skin. It makes Buck feel warm and protective.

"Maybe only in appearance," says Buck, thinking through the issue. "But our personalities would clash if we dated, I think. I mean, I'm not good at giving people space. I'd have smothered him by week two. You don't mind telling me if you need to be alone for a bit, and I like that you always let me know when you're ready to be us again. I don't think Eddie would ever say that until he's fed up, and then he'd shout it or give me the cold shoulder."

"You two seem to do well together as a unit though. And you love Christopher."

"Christopher is lovable because of who he is, not because I know his dad," Buck says, a little sharply. He squeezes Tommy's knee. It stops moving. "Eddie and I are best friends, and we love each other. But... I've seen him almost die, twice, and I would think that if I felt romantic love for him, that would have been the moment, you know? Buried in mud. Almost losing him to a bullet. But all I felt was terror of losing a friend I trust, and having to tell Chris about it if the worst happened."

Buck can't hide the tremor in his voice, and now it's Tommy's turn to hold his hand.

"I'm sorry you both had to go through that," Tommy says sincerely, his gaze soft.

Taking a deep breath, Buck exhales and smiles at his boyfriend. "With you, I just wanted to, I don't know, I was curious about you, about everything that had to do with you. I thought I only wanted to be your friend, and yet I was so upset after Eddie and you took off to watch the fight in Vegas, I kinda... Well, I was actually angry at Eddie, looking back on it. Irrationally so. I've never felt that sort of jealousy. And, yes, I did think it was because of Eddie that I was jealous, but the moment I saw you on the basketball court I wasn't angry at you at all. I was... Well, I was happy to see you."

Tommy chuckles. "I was trying not to show how happy I was to see you there too."

"So, yeah," says Buck. "Long roundabout way to say that yes, I did think Eddie is attractive, because I have eyes, but I've never felt giddy and light the way I do when you smile at me. Both of you make me happy, in different ways." He leans over to peck a kiss on Tommy's stubbled cheek. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

Tommy relaxes. "No, I am." He takes Buck by the chin, exactly how he did it that first time, and draws Buck in for a proper kiss. "Thank you. Didn't know I needed to hear that until I did."

"I'm glad you asked," says Buck, "instead of stewing over it until it drives you mad. And I'll always be honest with you, okay? I promise."

"Ditto," replies Tommy, kissing Buck again, just because.

--

edited on AO3

[tteokdoroki]

Isagi is golden retriever behavior. Tell him to bakr he will do it. Tell him to kneel he will. He will protect you with his whole being even if he seems to be nice guy. He isn’t afraid to throw hand s

*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— as close as strangers + yoichi isagi.

૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — while at a bar with your sister, a stranger comes to your rescue and he’s not afraid to come to your defence.

⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, fluff, strangers to lovers, meet cute, reader has a younger sister, weird men at bars (harassment kinda? but it’s minor), pro player!isagi, fem!reader - not beta read !

⭑ words — 1.4K.

⭑ notes — thank you nonnie for sending this in!! I got a little itty bit carried away but i hope you like it !! - m.list ✩

unironically, a bar can be one of the most dangerous places on earth. with its overpriced and watered down drinks, loud and disruptive patrons, and not to mention the countless number of men that can’t seem to take a hint. you find the sticky table tops gross and the peanut shells on the floor uncouth but you’re here for your little sister — who wanted no more than drinks and to catch up, filling you in on the details of her latest fling (who she’s sure is the one, despite it being the fifth time) since you returned to Japan.

you work a lot, you travelled abroad for college too so it’s been ages since you’ve last breathed the same air and walked underneath the same sky. you’d feel bad for missing this opportunity to meet someone important in her life while you still had it.

and you love your sister, so while she powders her nose in the bathroom as you both wait for her boy toy, you’ll put up with the stench of beer and the sleazy stranger arms length away from you who just can’t seem to get it through his head that you’re not interested.

“c’mon sweetheart, just one drink. lemme buy you a beer.” the stranger slurs over the top of his own beverage that threatens to spill into you as he encroaches on your personal space. 

shaking your head politely, you lean away. “no thank you. i’m not to keen on beer.” 

“then whas’ your drink of choice, cutie. let me know what i can get’cha.” 

nothing. you refrain from rolling your eyes. nothing that he could afford. grabbing a handful of peanuts to distract yourself, you de-shell them with ease and chew on them to avoid speaking any further. 

“no thank you.” you say plainly, reiterating yourself. 

he still doesn’t seem to understand, cosying up to your side — his alcohol tainted breath cascading over the shell of your ear. “then let’s get out of here, i’ll get you somethin’ you can really enjoy.” 

“i’m waiting on someone.” 

“who? a boyfriend?” 

“yes,” you lie as easy as breathing — you’re almost certain he wouldn’t leave you alone if he found out you were with your sister. “he’ll be here any minute.” 

the stranger lets out a chuff, “i don’t see him, gorgeous girl—“

he reaches for your hand and it causes a wave of uncomfortable goosebumps to rise along your skin. you shudder, hold back a gag, and if only the bartender was closer you could signal for some form of help but you can’t bring yourself to move.

that is until a warm arm slips around your shoulders— and instead of being slimy and unsettling, the presence of this stranger behind you is comforting and safe. “there you are precious,  sorry for being so late, i got caught up with work.” this man’s is smoothe like molten chocolate or rather honey running through your ears, and you find yourself enticed — leaning into him as if he’s a safety net. 

you turn, only just, catching a glimpse of the stranger’s handsome side profile — his skin is golden, glowing as if it had been blessed by the god’s of the son. his eyes are a blue im a shade that you cannot match, it’s almost unreal to you. his hair his soft, his face calm and again, he feels so safe. 

“i missed you,” you breathe the words into existence as if they’re natural, allowing a smile to overtake your features. “it’s okay.” 

the dark haired man gives you a firm nod before looking over your head at the drunkard who had been bothering you. he offers a hand to him. “hi isagi… the boyfriend. do we have a problem, here?” 

you recognise the name from somewhere but say nothing, letting isagi handle the situation from here. 

“n-no sir! i-i’m so sorry i didn’t realise that—“ 

“good,” isagi’s voice lowers an octave, far less welcoming and kind than when he had initially addressed you as your fake boyfriend. “then next time you’ll take a hint and learn to leave women alone when they tell you no the first time. fucking creep.” he spits, squeezing you into his side protectively. 

the stranger’s eyes blow wide and he lowers his head apologetically but you’re too focused on how flustered isagi’s whole act is making you feel. “a-again! i’m really sorry! i’m a huge fan i would never—“ 

“are you just that dense or do i have to repeat myself? scram.” isagi growls once more and does so until the man that had been bothering you flees the scene. within an instant, the tall dark and handsome man jumps away from you with an apologetic smile — and you embarrassingly admit to yourself how much you miss his embrace. “i am so sorry for touching you without asking. i-it’s just that i could see he was making you uncomfortable and no one else was jumping in so i just—“ 

turning around to face isagi fully, you shake your head and offer him your brightest grin. “it’s okay, if it hadn’t been for you i don’t know what would have happened. thank you…”

you pause to give him time and isagi trips over his words to give you his full name. “yoichi. yoichi isagi!” 

you respond with your own name, trying not to dwell on the familiarity of his. 

the pair of you spend the next few minutes chatting about everything and anything. you find out that yoichi likes soccer and has since he was a child. that he was an only child as well, travels a lot and has seen the whole world, though he thinks it gets a little lonely. you shyly admit that you feel the same — especially when work drags you across the globe and away from your family here in Japan.

the flow of your conversation is only interrupted by your little sister emerging from the bathroom excitedly, her nose effectively powdered as she waves an arm at you. “i see you’ve met isagi already!” she beams, sliding into the bar stool on your left while isagi takes your right.

“wait, you two know each other?” you squeak — how mortifying would it be that your younger sibling’s new boyfriend is the man you’ve been crushing on for all of fifteen minutes. “is he…the one?” 

the duo share an amused look over the drinks that your new friend had ordered, your sister shaking you as if to snap you out of your trance of crazy. “god no! isagi is way too polite to be my type. my bachira is a little more adventurous!” she rambles, all love sick like. “no offence yoichi!”

“none taken,” he laughs before focusing all of his attention on you , making you squirm under the surface of his ocean blue eyes. “i’m just here for moral support. bachira was nervous about meeting you so i told him to take a lap around the parking lot to calm down before he came in.” 

“wait bachira— as in meguru bachira? that one player from the blue lock team? i just styled him for my magazine in the US last month? that’s who you’re dating?” you ramble, eyes wide — which only seems to amuse isagi even more.

“uhuh, and this,” your sister grabs you by the shoulders and rotates you to face isagi, who’s cheeks flush red with nervousness. or shyness. “is yoichi isagi. blue lock’s heart and soul and your date for this evening. you’re welcome!” she sings.

“oh my god! i thought i recognised you! s-she used to have posters of you in our room back when bluelock was streaming!” 

“you’re the one that used to kiss them!” 

“you’re the one that’s dating his best friend!” you counter her stubbornly, but her attention is quickly stolen away by the world famous dribbler that slips through the doors — bachira’s own face lighting up when he spots her from across the room. your sister melts, running over and jumping into his arms. you can’t help but swoon, realising that whatever she has going on with bachira is obviously more serious than whatever chance at love she’d had before.

they look happy. you’re happy for her. “they’re cute together, aren’t they?” isagi mumbles, elbowing you gently with the wisps of a smile on his lips. 

“oh yeah, big time.” you agree, taking a sip of your drink as you scoot closer to japan’s beloved striker. “you’re not mad that he swiped her from right beneath your feet?” 

“nah,” yoichi responds simply, scooting closer to you as well. you let your gaze drift over from the happy couple to meet isagi’s fond one, looking down at you as if you’re the most precious thing in the world. “i’d rather have that kind of happy with the girl who was making out with my merch.” 

you punch isagi in the shoulder out of embarrassment, and when his timbre laughter fills the room — you can’t help but think you’d want that happiness with him too.

[elsweetheart]

omg idk if this is ok to ask since you’ve never written for hazel but like what do you think her reaction to you mindlessly wearing a super short skirt in front of her would be like… maybe ur like freshly into the relationship n didn’t have sex yet so she’d go crazy i 🤭

no because she’s so silly and awkward but like so horny ♡

waiting in line for your iced latte at the university cafe and she’s backed up a few steps, literally removing her arm from around your shoulder so she can ogle at you without looking like a total creep. you look back to glance at her and she nearly does a full spin trying to pretend she wasn’t looking — and she wasn’t! honest! she was trying to read the rhinestone lettering on the tiny pink skirt that just happened to be spelling something out across your ass!

you didn’t even say anything or acknowledge her gaze, and yet excuses come tumbling suddenly — “n-no—i wasn’t — you had a…” she waves her hand like she’s casting a fucking spell, mumbling something about a stain and your attention is captured again by the barista handing over your drink, paying no attention to hazels rambling as it certainly wasn’t out of character. it’s only back in the safety of your dorm when she brings it up again, because she quite literally cannot keep her eyes off the skirt so she figured she should say something, you know out of politeness.

“so, ‘that a new skirt or?” she trails off hoping it sounded casual and nonchalant. you stand from where you’re sat at your desk, absolutely elated that she noticed the tiny skirt you wore just for her, and she’s breaking into a grin of her own at how cute you were when you were excited. god, she was down dreadful.

“yes! i literally went to get it from the post room yesterday, it’s so cute — it says spoiled across the ass look!” you turn around, twisting at the waist to look down at it yourself. hazels eyes widen naturally, rubbing her sweaty hands on her knees, self soothing so she didn’t nut in her pants there and then. the swell of your ass peeks from beneath the skirt, having ridden up and her mouth waters. she wants to bite the flesh there, not in a weird way or anything just… shit.

“y—i mean, yeah it’s…” she stands up, wandering over to you gently slapping her fist into the palm of her opposing hand, smile fading into more of a smirk— not cocky just… relaxed. whatever it was, it made you bat your lashes a little. “you kinda have this thing where you look good in everything you wear?” she squints, leaning back a little, her voice getting higher as if she was gently breaking news to you. “but the skirt is really pretty. you’re really pretty.” she smiles simply.

you feel all hot in the face and appreciated, rolling your glossy lips over eachother (which she doesn’t miss, her eyes flickering downwards chanting ‘oh fuck’ in her head undoubtably.) “well im glad. i did buy it because like… i don’t know, wanted you to like it.” you get all shy on her and she smiles even bigger.

“well i definitely do. a little too much.”

you giggle and so does she, your fingers interlocking where they hang before you lift them up, looking up sweetly through your lashes to kiss the ring on her knuckle. she shouldn’t get a shiver up her spine from that, because it was pretty innocent— but she was having some urges all of a sudden. she gently shakes a hand free and cups your cheek. “you uh— missed my mouth.” her voice gets breathy towards the end of the sentence as she closes in, pressing her lips to yours.

[joedirtymadre]

Drinks

ZORO x READER! FLUFF! (KEEP SENDING REQUESTS)

The crew was celebrating your escape from the Navy. Everyone was dancing, laughing, and drinking. You sat by the bar staring at a particular moss headed man. 

You noticed his eyes glance over to you, causing you to jump and avert your eyes. “Zoro is looking cute today, huh?” Nami asked, causing you to flip your head around. “H-Huh?” You stuttered. “You can’t hide it from me, besides it looked like you were trying to fuck him with your eyes,” Nami laughed. 

You felt your face heat up, you tried to ignore your friend’s question as you took a sip from your water. “Oh come on (Y/N), don’t be so stiff,” she laughed. “ I don’t know. I just got so awkward around him. The last time we were alone, I tripped over myself and landed in a puddle of mud…” you groaned as your head hit the bar table. “O-Oh come on, that's not so ba-” You cut her off. “Another time a bird pooped on my head… Then at the last island I dropped my coconut drink on him. Then there was another time where-” Nami stopped you. “Ok… so I see that there’s been a few hiccups in the past,” she sighed. 

“A few?” you raised an eyebrow. “A lot, there’s been a lot. Even so, you can’t give up! My gut tells me that he likes you back,” she said as she nudged you with her shoulder. “I don’t know Nami… besides kinda seems like the universe is giving me clear signs to stay away,” you sighed as you took a sip of your water. “Oh come on! Don’t give up so easily, take a few drinks! Get loose a little bit,” she encouraged you. 

“You know I don’t drink,” you replied. “It’s not that bad, you just haven’t found your drink,” she winked. “Whatever, if you can find a good enough drink for me then why not… besides, it’s not like I can embarrass myself even more in front of him. I fell face first onto Sanji’s pie in front of him… It was on the dining room table,” you groaned. “That’s the spirit!” She smiled. 

You turned your back to Nami as she began experimenting in the bar. Your eyes scanned the deck, trying to find the swordsman. You sipped some water to look a bit more conspicuous. “Whatcha looking for?” A deep voice boomed beside you. You choked on your water, you looked to your left and noticed Zoro a few seats away at the bar with a bottle of sake. You gulped, did he hear your conversation with Nami?? Wait… when did he even get here?

“J-Just looking around,” you squeaked. “Mmmm,” he grumbled. He stood up and sat in the set next to you, oh god- “Here you go! I know how much you like coconut, so I tried to make it tropical,” Nami smiled proudly as she handed you a drink. “Oh hey Zoro, when did you get here?” She asked. “About a minute ago,” he replied. You let out an internal sigh of relief.

“You’re drinking?” He asked as he sipped from his cup. “N-Nami wanted to help me find a drink that I might like…” you trailed off. “Well, try it!” Nami said. You slowly took the cup to your lips and sipped it. “Oh wow!” you beamed. “You like it?” Nami smiled. “Yeah, it’s really good!” You said before sipping the whole drink. “Oh wow! Maybe you were meant to be a drinker, that was fast!” Nami smiled. “I think you should cool it a little, don’t want to have to end up carrying you to your bed,” Zoro said as he poured himself another cup. 

You stared back at Nami. Her eyes told you exactly what she’s thinking. You shook your head slightly as you saw her devilish grin grow. “Oh come on Zoro~” she cooed. Oh god. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid she’ll drink you under the table?” She smiled slyly. “No, but I’d hate for her to have a bad first drinking experience,” he said. You smiled at his comment. “Alright, you make a great point, but before I leave I’ll make (Y/N) one more drink,” she said. You smiled, glad that Nami didn’t follow through with her crazy plan.

She handed you another drink before going back with the rest of the crew. You waved goodbye and turned back to the bar, realizing you were now alone with Zoro. “Mind if I have a sip?” he asked. You nodded and slowly handed him the drink, feeling your face heat up as he sipped from your straw. “Hey that’s not too bad, really sweet, but pretty good,” he smiled softly. If you could melt from a smile, you’d be a puddle.

You nodded and retrieved the drink from him. You began to sip the drink slowly. “I guess this means we can be drinking partners now,” he chuckled. “Sounds nice, until you drink me under the table,” you smiled. “Nah, today you’re starting slow. Maybe later on I’ll be the one trying to catch up,” he said. You smiled widely, you’re actually doing it! You’re having an actual conversation with him! Thank you Nami, thank you-

You felt a soft strange wave flow through you. “Oh umm… I’ll be back. I’m gonna go to the restroom,” you said. “Alright, I’ll be here,” he replied. You slowly stood up and felt your knees buckle. “Woah! You alright?” Zoro asked as he swooped in and wrapped his arm around you. 

You felt slightly dizzy, not sick, but strange. “S-Sorry, I just feel weird,” you hiccuped. You looked up to Zoro and noticed a light blush across his cheeks. Probably from the drinking. “Alright, looks like we found out you’re a lightweight,” he said slowly. “Oh no… does that mean we can’t be drinking partners anymore?” You said, easily able to say whatever’s on your mind. “O-Oh well… we can,” he cleared his throat. “Really? That makes me so happy!” You beamed.

“L-Let’s get you to your bed,” He stuttered. “Whaat? Why? Aren’t we having fun?” You asked as you threw your arms around his neck. “W-We are,” he said, his blush growing to his ears. “So don’t take me to bed… Let’s drink more~” you cooed. “I think we should really-” you cut him off. “Please Zoro? One more drink?” You pouted. He gulped, his arms still wrapped around you. “W-Well…” he trailed off. 

Your eyes scanned his face, then down his neck, and finally to a part of his exposed chest. You ran your fingers down his chest. “You’re so strong Zoro. I like strong guys,” you smiled. You watched through your fuzzy vision his face explode into a deep red tone. “D-D-Do you? I-I didn’t k-know…” he stuttered. 

You laughed at his reaction, “You’re pretty cute too,” you added. “A-Alright let’s get you to bed!” he said as he lifted you over his shoulder. “Wee!” you grinned. “So strong~ You’re so cool Zoro,” you smiled as you were carried off. You passed Nami who gave you a thumbs up. You waved in return before seeing your door close behind you. 

You were softly tossed onto your bed, “We got here so fast,” you said. “Yep, now rest up… I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he said as he headed to the door. “Whaat? Noo, you can’t leave me! Stay with me!” You pleaded as you latched onto his arm. “Huh?” He asked. “Please! It’ll be boring all alone,” you replied. You dragged him towards your bed, and softly pushed him back onto the sheets. 

“Since when were you so strong?” He asked. You laughed, and pounced on top of him. “(Y-Y/N)?” He asked. “I got you! Now you have to stay with me,” you smiled. “God… alright then…” he sighed as he slowly sat up. “Really? Ok!” you grinned. “Ok let’s get ready for bed,” you said as you wobbled over to your dresser.  You grabbed a T-Shirt and some shorts and walked back over to Zoro.

“W-What are you doing?” He asked. “Changing into my PJ’s, duh,” you replied with a raised eyebrow. “Oh well let me-” he stopped. You quickly began undressing, removing your top and bottoms, leaving yourself in your undergarments. You looked over to Zoro who was as red as a tomato. “It looks like you have smoke coming out of your ears,” you laughed. “Uh-huh…” he said defeatedly.

You quickly changed and then stood in front of Zoro, who was still recovering from who knows what. You smiled and plopped into bed, patting the empty space beside you. “Let’s go to bed?” You asked. “Yeah…” he sighed. He slowly laid down beside you and you quickly scooted into his chest. 

“Who would’ve known you were secretly a flirt like the cook,” he mumbled. “Only to you,” you whispered. You suddenly heard his heart rate pick up, you laughed. “Goodnight Zoro,” you smiled. “N-Night,” he replied. 

… Morning…

You slowly woke up to a pounding headache. “God, my head won’t stop ringing,” you groaned as you rubbed your temples. “Where’s my pillow?” You asked yourself, and reached beside you for one. Instead feeling a warm body beside you. You snapped your head to the person beside and saw Zoro. You instantly blow a fuse, “W-What’s he doing here?” You asked yourself.

“You told me to stay the night,” he quickly responded. You squeaked in response. “Don’t get all nervous now… What happened to the flirtatious girl from last night?” He smirked. “H-Huh?” You asked, thinking hard and remembering fragments of last night. “Oh god…” you groaned as you fell back onto the bed beside him. “I’m sorry…” you said sheepishly. “It’s fine, but… don’t drink with anyone other than me from now on. You got that?” He asked as he rolled over to face you. “Huh?” You asked him. “You said you’re only flirty with me when you drink, and it’s going to stay that way,” he said as he wrapped an arm around you. 

“O-Ok,” you blushed.

[bravo4iscool]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write a friends to lovers x reader for any of the 141 (you get to choose) where the reader is plus size and she avoids them touching her? Because she knows she's plus size and doesn't think this super attractive soldier would ever even like her, much less her body, and every time she is touched she kinda pulls away, but our soldiers are so down bad for her? 👀 And ultimately maybe she gets pulled onto a lap and immediately tries to get off? Smut or no smut, it's up to you!

Thank you lovely!! 💞💞

i like this. i like this very very much hehehehe. i chose simon (i always chose him, i really have to change that😭) (i hope you're okay with that tho. it's my personal headcanon that that man is a chubby chaser by heart lol).

as someone who's also plus-size i adore requests like this so much! i hope i could write it the way you imagined it :)

also, sorry this took me so long😭. i had a bit of a slump lol (also, please give me feedback on the smut part, i never really write smut🥲 and im a virgin lmao)

smut, plus-size!reader, unprotected sex, p in v, fem!reader, not proof-read!

(masterlist | join my tag list!)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

tag list - @yazt09 @blackhawkfanatic @bumblebeesfromvenus

"don't touch me simon," you mumble as you push his hands away. "you know i don't like that..." you shuffle away from him and clutch the little notepad you scribble down your customers orders.

he frowns—as always—and gives you a small smile. “‘m sorry lovie. i forgot.”

you nod and straighten your back. “your usual?” you ask, already knowing that he’ll answer with yes. and he does. then you look at the rest of the team, one eyebrow raised. it was rare that they took something else than their usual.

“positive,” price replies, as well as gaz.

“i’ll take whatever ye gimme,” johnny winks and you feel yourself blush. simon just rolls his eyes. he’s getting fed up with his best friend already.

you give johnny a honest smile and scribble something down. “10 minutes and i will be back with your drinks,” you tell them, turning to leave.

once you were out of reach johnny elbowed simon into the side, a devilish smirk on his face. “have ye told ye lassie that ye like her?” he wants to know, wiggling with his eyebrows.

“zip it johnny,” simon only grumbles, starting to bounce his knee. “i ain’t tellin’er nothin’.”

“but why? ye clearly like her.” johnny frowns. if he were in simon’s position he would’ve shot his shot weeks, if not months ago. you were—you were perfection. those curves, those hips and—god forbid—your stomach.

you were hypnotising and you didn’t even know it. johnny didn’t understand how simon could just sit and watch you. he would’ve done anything to get a taste of you, or even just a glance.

“she ain’t interested n’me johnny,” simon sighs after a moment of silence. “i won’t destroy what we have over my stupid feelings.” and with that the debate was over for simon.

before johnny could answer you return with the drinks, placing them down onto the table. “here ya go,” you smile.

“thanks lassie,” johnny grins, patting your hand. you immediately pull away.

you try to overplay it. “no problem. let me know if you need anything else.” you leave with hurried steps, praying you wouldn’t encounter touch again this evening.

-

‘fuck’ you thought when you realize: all seats were taken. this was not good, nope. you just wanted to turn around and leave without anyone taking a notice of you.

but then soap notices you, “ey lassie. com’ere!” he smiles and waves at you. with hesitant steps you walk in his and simon’s direction. giving a apologetic look to the other people. this was a movie night, not some coffee gossip round. it was rare that you were on base and on most occasions you tried to avoid it but johnny and gaz practically begged you to come so you had no other chance than to say yes.

a few moments later you stood in front of the group of men—your friends—unsure what to do. were you just gonna sit on the ground or… before you can even finish that thought a arm wraps around your waist and someone pulls you into their lap. you can‘t suppress a small yelp, your eyes blow wide.

“‘s j‘st me,“ simon whispers into your ear, sending a cold shiver down your spine. you wanted to leave. now.

“simon,“ you hiss. “let me go. i‘m way too heavy for you—“

but instead of following your request his arm around your waist only tightens. “i‘m a big guy. i can handle it,“ he only says in a low voice. with that the topic was done for him and you knew arguing wouldn‘t make sense. once simon was determined about something there was no way to chance his mind.

so, you sat in his lap the whole movie, squirming from time to time; afraid you were too heavy for him, afraid that you would hurt him in any way. meanwhile, his hands were caressing our waist, pulling you closer to him so you‘d stop wiggling around. if you wouldn‘t stop he‘d some have a problem…

beside simon johnny was throwing side glances at him, smirking when he noticed the struggles his best friend was having. he wished he was in that position… if only he‘d been a tad faster than simon you‘d sit in his lap right now and he knew he wouldn‘t be the same after than.

“y‘alright lassie?“ johnny asks as soon as the movie is over and the lights got turned on. your face was red and your pupils blown wide. you only manage a nod, trying your best to get off simon‘s lap as normal—and fast—as possible.

“i think—i think i‘ll go home now. i have work tomorrow morning,“ you smile, still embarrassed. “i hope i‘ll see you tomorrow or are you shipping out?“

“not for at least two weeks,“ simon answers and you nod and turn to leave but then he gets up too and you stop in your tracks. you raise your eyebrow at him and he shrugs. “‘m gonna get ya home,“ he simply says and you nod again.

“alright. see you soon guys,“ you wave your goodbyes to gaz and johnny.

once you and simon where out of reach johnny started to smirk. “ohhhh, he‘s tryna get laid,“ he laughs, glancing at gaz beside him.

“100%“ the other man agrees, hiding his laughter behind his hand. “the question is if she‘s understanding all the signs…“

-

you unlock your door, simon towering over you from behind, his presence like a burning sensation you couldn‘t seem to ignore. “and we‘re there,“ you chuckle, stepping aside. “you can, uh, leave now,“ you tell him but instead of turning around he takes a step inside your flat, closing the door behind him.

“what if i don‘t want to?“ he asks, slowly coming closer to you. “what…if i want to spend the night with you, mh?“ he‘s looking down at you, his hand itching towards to your face.

you swallow, trying to hold his gaze; it seemed impossible. “why would you want that?“ you want to know, unable to phantom any reason he—out of all men—would want to spend a night with you.

he smiles at your question and lowers his head. “because i like you,“ is his answer before he starts to trails kisses down your throat. your breath gets caught and your hands rush to grip his arms. what was happening right now? this must be a dream…

"if you want t'stop, tell me," he mumbles against your neck, slowly pushing you back until your back hits your drawer. you swallow but turn your head to give him more space. it just felt so good.

your breath hitches when he finds your weak spot. "i don't want to stop," you manage to say and you feel him smirk against your skin.

he scoops you up into his arms and you yelp. "that was what i wanted t'hear," he says and seconds later his lips collide with yours as he makes his way to your bedroom. you feel like a feather in his arms, so light and free.

"been wantin' t'do this f'r a long time," simon breathes against your lips when he gently drops you down onto your bed and he pulls back. "y'look so beautiful..." his eyes admire you and you start to blush. you weren't used to being appreciated like that. especially not by men like simon.

he sits up, kneeling in front of you. then he pulls off his shirt in a smooth motion, tossing it aside. your eyes widen and you swallow again. oh steaming jesus, he looked better than you thought–

and suddenly you get aware of your looks again. you try to hide behind your arms as fast as possible, not wanting simon to see but he beats you to it. with gentle hands he grabs your wrists and pulls them away. "why're you doing that, mh?" he wants to know and you avert your gaze.

"i...don't know..." you mumble. "i just–"

he cuts you off before you can finish, "y'think i don't find ya attractive, do ya?" your blush is answer enough and he bents down. "you're the most attractive woman i've ever laid m'eyes upon..." he tells you in a whisper, placing kisses upon your face.

"you don't–"

"oh, i mean it. with every fiber of my being," he, again, cuts you off, not wanting you to doubt his attraction to you. you were beautiful, etheral even, and he didn't know how other men didn't see it. "let me worship you," he pleads, kissing your lips.

he pulls slightly back again and looks in your eyes. he wanted your consent before continung. if you'd say no, he'd stop. if you'd say yes, he would ravish you.

you hesitate for a second before you drag him back down by his neck and press a kiss to his lips. "please," you choke out, looking at him with hooded eyes.

he smiles, his hands slipping beneath your shirt, pushing it upwards. "your wish is my command love." with gentle hands he starts to undress you, trailing kisses all over your body. he wanted to you to feel good about yourself, to feel attractive.

and with every passing moment he was itching down towards your core, smirking when he feels you twitching and shuddering.

“si—simon,” you moan when his lips ghost over your clothed cunt.

he does it again, looking up at you through hooded eyes. “shhhh,” he coos, his tumb caressing your thigh. “b’good f’r me, will ya?” he was straining himself to not rip your clothes off when he started undressing you piece by piece. he wanted to cherish you, burn the image of you sprawled across your bed—naked—into his mind. who knew when he’d be able to see you like that again?

it felt like a haze, the way he was undressing and worshipping your body, his eyes rarely leaving yours. he wanted to you feel seen, to feel lusted after because that was exactly what he was doing.

he came face to face with you again, his lips finding yours while his hand cupped your pussy. your breath hitched. “so ready for me,” he chuckles, his tumb carefully starting to stimulate your clit.

a whine escapes you when he pulls his hand back after a few moments and he can’t suppress a smirk. “oh, ya needy, aren’t ya?” you only manage a nod, your mouth falling open when you feel him slipping one finger inside. “gon’ work ya well open first, love,” he tells you before he starts to litter you with kisses again.

with a steady rhythm he pumps his finger in and out of you, trying to pay attention to your body’s reaction as best as possible. he wanted to make this about you and you only.

he was sucking bruises onto your skin while moans dripped past your lips. oh, he felt like he was in heaven. “keep makin’ them sounds f’r me love,” he mumbles as he starts to hump your bed. his dick was painfully hard by now and he needed to feel some relief.

you gasp and writhe and whine, grabbing his arm to feel something between your hands. “please simon,” you cry out with your back arching off the mattress. “i wanna—“ he shuts you up with a kiss.

“i know what ya want.” and exactly that is the moment your orgasm ripples through you. a dragged out moan leaves your mouth and your fingernails bore into the flesh of his arms. “j’st like that,” simon coos, carefully removing his hand from your cunt.

you gasp for air as you come down from your high, still not 100% sure if this was real; because it didn’t feel like it. you release simon’s arms from your grip, swallowing when you saw the marks you left.

in the meanwhile simon fully undressed himself, his painfully hard cock finally getting set free. he looked at you and a smirk tugged at his lips when he noticed you staring. he tugged at his cock before he crawled back onto the bed to hover about you.

you look up at him, unsure of what to do. it’s been probably years since you’ve last had sex. it wasn’t that much of a regular thing in your life.

“ya ready?” he asks you after he connects your lips in a gentle kiss. you nod and he carefully starts to open your legs further. “i’ll be gentle, yea?”

simon’s hands caress your thighs before he aligns his cock with your entrance and trains his eyes on you as he starts to push himself inside.

your mouth falls open and your hands find their way back to grip onto his arms. a tear slips past your eye and a loud moan drags past your lips. “simon—oh my god!”

he grunts, doing his best to hold himself back from restlessly pounding into you. he didn’t want to hurt you. “no god ‘ere love. only me.” he bends down to kiss you and one of his hands starts to stimulate your clit again.

when he fully bottomed out it took all of his self control to not come immediately. he’s dreamed of this for months, years even and not it was finally happening.

“takin’ me s’good,” simon whispers in your ear, slowly pulling his hips back, making you whine before he pushes them forward again, pulling another moan out of you. “this pussy was made for me, huh.” a cocky grin was on his face.

you nod and babble, too overwhelmed by that pleasure that was so unknown to you. “wanna be good for you,” you cry, clutching his arm with your hands. “please simon.”

he starts to trail kisses down your throat while he keeps his thrusts in a steady rhythm. he felt his orgasm building but he wouldn’t come before you didn’t. this wasn’t about him and his pleasure, this was about you.

you moan, “oh—oh—“ when you feel the knot in your stomach tightening. “i’m gonna come simon,” your voice trembles.

“i know,” he grits out as he fastens his thrusts and keeps stimulation your clit. the way you were clenching around him had him seeing stars. you were so close.

and then he pushes you over the cliff, your orgasm rippling through you with a force you didn’t know as possible. your vision fades to black and your mouth falls open as simon fucks you through your orgasm.

he’s trying his best to keep his composure when you clench around him, almost milking him but he pushes through, managing a couple sloppy thrusts before he comes with a deep moan, fully burying himself inside you.

his eyes are closed as he tries to take a deep breath, a faint ‘i love you’ leaving his lips.

(i’m sorry the end is like that. i’m terrible at endings🧍🏼. i didn’t know how to properly cut this😭)

[strawbvrriluv]

Lovers or Foes?

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢꜱ: ᴊᴇɴɴᴀ ᴏʀᴛᴇɢᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1K?

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ɪɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴇɴɴᴀ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʏᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅʀᴜɴᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇꜱ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴅʀɪɴᴋɪɴɢ, ᴘᴇʀᴄʏ ʜʏɴᴇꜱ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ, ᴋɪꜱꜱɪɴɢ

꧁༺ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ༻꧂

I walked through the crowds or Paparazzi and fans screaming and yelling trying to get to me. Security huddled around me so I wouldn’t get hurt.

“Y/N OVER HERE!!”

Paparazzi yelled in every which way, I walked into the event and saw Jenna Ortega. It’s not that I didn’t like her, I actually really liked her. She always had something against me though.

Maybe it was because I was close with her co-star Percy Hynes White?

“Hey Y/n!”

Percy said as he pulled me into a side hug, I smiled and hugged him back. I felt stares on me as I looked and saw Jenna staring at me. Or what felt more like a glare.

Did she like Percy?

“Hi Percy!! It’s crazy outside”

I laughed breaking the hug to stand in front of him, he looked over and saw Jenna.

“Oh Jenna! Come over here!”

He waved her down as she reluctantly walked over to us and stood next to him.

“Hi Jenna! You look so beautiful tonight.”

I said softly smiling, I didn’t want her to hate me especially when I didn’t like Percy. Her eyes widened a bit, I swear I could see blush on her face.

“Oh. Thank you. You look- um.. Really beautiful”

She looked away as Percy did a small smirk towards her.

What was that about..?

“Thank you! I’m going to go get a drink, do you guys want to come?”

I raised an eyebrow softly as they nodded following me to the bar area. The music blared over our heads and the smell of alcohol became apparent.

“I have to use the bathroom I’ll be right back”

Percy told us, he left as me and Jenna sat down at a booth in the back area. A waitress came up to us, she looked to be about 18 years old. She has long blonde hair and green eyes.

She saw me and her eyes widened as blush crept over her face.

“U-Um.. What can I get you.. You two?”

The girl didn’t seem interested in Jenna the way she was with me and that seemed to tick her off.

“We’ll both take a vodka cranberry.”

Jenna glared softly at the girl as she gulped and rushed off. I furrowed my brows.

It wasn’t just Percy she didn’t like talking to me.. Maybe it was the attention not going to her?

“She was just doing her job Jenna I don’t think she meant to-“

Jenna cut me off with a look of annoyance.

“Of course she meant it. Did you see the way she was staring at you. Like you were-“

She cut herself off as she shook her head.

I was beyond confused, what was she talking about? What did she mean?

The waitress gave us our drinks as I smiled and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her. She giggled and walked off her face super red.

Jenna gripped her glass as she drunk the whole entire bottle in one sip? Well more like gulp.

“Jenna are you okay?”

I looked at the girl in front of me, her eyes glaring at the waitress going around. She scoffed and looked at me.

“What’s so special about her? Why were you so nice to her but not me. What do you like her”

Jenna words sounded kinda of slurred, she was already tipsy.

Oh god

“What? What are you talking about Jenna. You’re drunk”

With that she chuckled angrily, her face coming closer to mine.

“I fucking hate seeing you with anyone else. Why don’t you understand that?”

Jenna said her brows furrowing as she realized what she said. She blinked a few times before backing away and going to leave.

“Jenna. Wait.”

I held her hand causing her to look back at me, blush rising on her face.

Oh. My. God.

“Jenna do you like me? Romantically?”

My voice was soft almost as if I was telling her a secret. My mind felt like I was spiraling, was this why she was always annoyed when other people were around me? Did she like me? Did I like her?

“I-… Y/n I’ve been in love with you since we met that one time. I mean I had a celebrity crush on you.. You’re so beautiful and I wish I was the one you liked not Perc-“

I cut her off.

“Woah. I don’t like Percy at all. He’s just a friend… Hell I thought you liked him.”

She widened her eyes as I laughed a bit, she shook her head.

“No way. I don’t like Percy.”

Her eyes softened as she looked at me smiling, her face became visibility nervous.

“D-do you like me as well?”

The once confident Jenna Ortega was now scared for what was to come. I didn’t know what to say.

“I-I think I do… I mean I get nervous around you, and giddy. I just thought you always hated me. Or-Or something.”

I said fiddling with my fingers as she lifted my chin up with her fingers to force me to look at her.

I looked at her as I gulped, her face moving closer to mine. Her lips hovered above mine for a moment.

“Can I kiss you?”

Her voice was soft as I nodded, she crashed her lips on me as my arms wrapped around her waist. She was 5’0 and I was 5’5 so I was a bit taller than she was. Yet she was wearing heels so we were about the same height.

Her lips tasted like her lipstick and Vodka Cranberry. After a few seconds she back away from the kiss her arms around my neck.

“I- Jenna. That was amazing..”

I said not sure what else to say, I could feel my cheeks burning with pink. My heart beating so fast I felt like Jenna could hear it.

“Y/n… I like you so much. You’re so beautiful, I could stare at you for hours like a painting in a museum.”

Jenna’s words tugged at my heart as my blush got worse. I looked away from her trying to hide my blush.

“I wish you told me sooner Jenna. This whole entire time I thought you wanted me like dead”

I giggled as we sat back down again, she shook her head as she sighed.

“I was so afraid. I saw how close you were to Percy and thought you two were a thing. Percy knew I liked you. And I think he would do stuff on purpose to make me jealous. Anyways… He told me that you were straight-“

I cut her off chuckling.

“I’m not straight at all. I made a passing comment about being straight as a joke and he took it seriously… Like for months he thought I was only into guys”

I shook my head as Jenna sighed.

“He’s just so clueless sometimes.”

I nodded agreeing with her. I was so happy I could finally have a conversation with Jenna and not have her pretend to hate me. Jenna started talking about something but I wasn’t paying attention.

I just kept staring at her. She was so beautiful.

“Y/n..?”

She said causing me to snap out of my daze. I blinked a few times embarrassed.

“Sorry..”

I said as she smiled at me, her lips on mine again. I kissed back.

“Wanna go to my hotel?”

I asked as she nodded frantically, I took her hand and held it as we walked across the event to the hotel. I decided to stay at the hotel for the night instead of having to drive back to my apartment.

We checked into my room as I closed the door making out with Jenna. I smiled and moved away to lock the door and place my things down. She sat on the bed staring at me as I took out my phone and took a picture.

“Did you just take a picture?”

Her cheeks flushed as I shook my head no.

“I have to use the bathroom”

I walked into the bathroom going onto instagram.

Y/N_insta

Y/N_Insta I’m not talking about boys I’m talking about girls …💕

Tagged @Jennaortgea

As soon as I posted the post I heard Jenna gasp and run over and knock on the door.

“Y/n… Stop I’m going to sob”

I opened the door to a wide eyed teary Jenna, I pulled her into a hug as I kissed her forehead.

“Let’s go on some more dates to make it official okay?”

I said as she nodded hugging me.

I was now about to date the hottest girl I knew. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

I looked at my phone to see a notification.

Perc🗣️: Took you two long enough, finally you lovebirds are a thing.

I giggled reading his text as Jenna rolled her eyes playfully. This was all I ever needed and wanted.

A/N: Should I make this a series? 🩷

[writingsfromhome]

Dos and Don’ts II

A/N: the story kinda got away from me so it’s getting a part 3. Would love to know what you think of the characters/choices!

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

—————————————————

It’s a beautiful morning; the late summer heat is right around the hour but for now the morning clouds keeps the city cool. I’m sat at Harry’s dinner table with stacks of paper around me, sorting out paperwork whilst on hold with a private venue he was playing in the fall to sort out some details his manager asked me for.

I had become good at my job, multitasking like a pro and not having to leave the room to make a call. After all, it had been nearly half a year of this.

And yet, my relationship with Harry Styles had stayed the same. Sometimes it felt like it got worse.

My other relationships, in the rest of my life, had definitely gotten worse.

“Riley just called said he’s sent over some prints I bought for the bedroom,” Harry pops into the room. “Can you call someone to put them up?”

“Yeah, where do you want them?” I get up so he can show me.

“Somewhere that looks good in there,” he waves his hand. “It’s pictures of me.”

“Of course they are,” I know how big-headed he could be. “Above the bed?”

“Hm,” he heads off to the bedroom so I follow. He examines each wall of his bedroom which was pretty neutral and relaxing to be in. “Why not? Yeah. Above the bed’s good.”

“Great.” With that I head back to my makeshift office.

I wondered why Riley didn’t message me directly about the prints considering we avoided getting Harry involved in these minor decisions.

Maybe I’d ask him tonight. We were having drinks—we tried a bunch of times to get together seeing we were “coworkers” but our timing rarely worked out. Since Gray was out of town the next two nights I’d reached out to Riley.

Evening comes quicker while I’m still buried behind paper. I start tidying up after 7.

“Going home?” Harry asks. He’d been out most of the day at voice lessons.

“Yes, your dinner’s in the oven and Roy said he left cocktails in the fridge.”

“Lovely Roy,” Harry rubs his hands together. “He makes the best drinks.”

I smile and go back to work.

“There’s enough for two,” he calls with his head in the fridge. “You want to join?”

Of course the one night Harry asks me to join him personally—a time I could use to get on his good side, I’m going out.

“I’m actually heading out for drinks myself.” He’s already placed the jug on the marble countertop.

“Oh.” He freezes awkwardly. “With your fiancé?”

“No,” for some reason I feel flustered at his mention of Gray. “With Riley actually. We’ve been meaning to get together for drinks since…I started. Wow. That’s been a long time.”

“Riley,” Harry purses his lips. “Does your fiancé know?”

“It’s a friendly drink,” I feel my temper flare. “I don’t need to report to my fiance.”

“If my fiancé was going out to drinks with a man with loose hands, I’d worry.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re not engaged,” I mouth off before I can stop myself. He raises a brow and the single movement has me backpedaling. I was such a coward. “So you don’t have to worry.”

“Y/n you get away with a lot but I’d remember who’s working for who.”

I clench my teeth. Just seconds ago he was inviting me for a drink and now I’ve dug myself a grave. I couldn’t be stopped.

I grab my bag and head to the elevator.

“Don’t turn your back on him once he’s got a few drinks in.” Harry calls out.

Asshole, I think.

***

God, Riley talked a lot. He’s got 3 drinks to my 1.5 and really got the gift of the gab.

That is until he starts asking me about Harry.

“Do you find him hot? He’s kind of a lady’s man yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” I laugh. “Got ‘em all lined up.”

“And you?” He asks casually. “Has he got you yet?”

“Riley! I’m engaged,” I flash my ring.

“Didn’t stop the last girl,” he mutters.

“What? What’s that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me,” I poke him, knowing he wanted to talk about it anyway.

“Just that the last PA he had for…less than a year? She had a boyfriend and everything but one time I pop in early to set up for this masseuse right—I’m there and I hear someone in the bedroom with him. No big deal whatever. Then Harry comes out and he’s fuming just seeing me. Tells me to get out and leave the rest, that I should have called him. All this shite. And then I see her jacket, she wore a very specific jacket, and her shoes off the way. He was angry cuz I caught them.”

“Woah,” I think about the way Harry treats me. “Well I don’t have to worry about that. He can be a right dick with me.”

“He can come off that way. Until you get to know him. Well. He used to be nicer. It’s changed a bit since I started.”

“How long?” I ask, curious.

“Uhh I was his PA for a year and now this for one and a half?”

“Wow. That’s a long time.”

“I know. Too long. Well, big things are coming for me I can feel it. How about you? Are you staying long? I hear the way he talks to you, I don’t know how you put up with it.”

I thought he talked to all his PAs that way. Maybe he was different when Riley was his. Of maybe it was that Riley was a guy. Maybe the fame got to his head. “Uhm. I want to stick around for at least a year. What do you mean the way he talks to me?”

“He’s rude.” Riley runs his hand through his hair. “Don’t you find him rude? You’re surprisingly…graceful, but he’s always bossing you around and then ignoring you.”

I feel a pit in my stomach. So I wasn’t imagining it. “I thought that’s just the way he is.”

“No, you should have met him a couple years ago. A really cool guy. He taught me a lot.” Riley suddenly sobers as he looks off into the distance. “I grew a lot with him. I’m thankful for that y’know?”

“Right,” I nod. “Yeah. I dunno. I’m hoping to learn a lot here.”

“Well if you want to stay connected, keep my number. When you wanna jump ship just let me know.”

I’m surprised Riley is talking so openly about helping me leave. I would have thought he was a Harry die-hard.

“Yeah. Hey are you the one that’s created all those notes on the phone? They’ve been a life saver.”

“Notes? Oh the lists. I made them when I was his PA. I don’t know if the last girl updated any…”

I think of the snarky additions. She definitely did.

“Well I owe you my first-born because without them I’m pretty sure I would have been fired.”

“No you wouldn’t have,” he smirks.

“Uh yeah, I forgot to bring his bloody tablet to the studio the first day. He was so mad.”

“He wouldn’t fire you y/n,” he cocks his head to the side. “Not with the way I see it.”

“Huh?” I ask but Riley’s turned to the bar to ask for another drink.

I excuse myself and freshen up, checking my phone for messages. Gray’s sent me a picture of his hotel view and I send him a quick text back. I wish he was here. Maybe it was time I got home, I was starting to feel tired.

“I’m thinking of heading home,” I tell Riley when I get back.

“Now?” He looks at his watch. “Night’s still young y/l/n.”

“I’ve been up since 6 I’m dead.”

“Fine, I’ll walk you outside.” Riley knocks back half his drink and stands, swaying slightly. I put my hand out to steady him and he smiles down at me.

The pub is crowded as we walk past people, shoulders brushing against strangers. It takes me a second to feel the hand on my back sliding down to my ass.

I whip around to chew out whichever stranger thought he could get a grope but the only person behind me is Riley with a cocky smile.

“You alright? Let’s keep going.”

I can hear the blood pumping in my ears and I stumble back, Harry’s words echoing in my ear.

“I’m alright.” I try to put distance between us. “I’ll walk myself out you should look after your drink.”

“Nah c’mon,” he reaches for me again and I inch back.

“I said I’m okay,” I know my voice comes out harsh due to the fear coursing through my body. But I don’t care.

“Bloody hell alright then,” Riley shrugs. “Night y/n.”

I wait for him to turn and leave before I get out of there. The night air cools down the flush in my cheeks but I can’t get my heart to stop racing. Harry was right and for some reason it makes me angry at him. I’m furious.

All these men just made me feel small and confused all the time. Is that what I had to accept working in this industry? Was I just naïve for thinking things could be decent? That people could be decent?

I wish more than ever that Grayson was here. I imagine him on his own in another city. Then I imagine him alone, at home, while I’m working all the time. It felt like we were on a piece of ice drifting through the ocean and the middle was cracking leaving us to drift alone. My heart feels like it’s cracking with it.

I call Gray on the ride home just to see his face. I listen to him talk about his day and slowly my grip on the anger loosens. Slowly with his voice in my ear, I come back down to earth.

***

It’s a couple weeks after the Riley incident. I’d come into work the next day and managed to ignore Harry for most of it just like he did me.

Today I’m back at the dining table waiting for Harry’s publicist to call me to take me through what was left for this upcoming weekend for a small awards show Harry had been nominated in that was happening Sunday. Riley would be on the call too, the first time I’d seen him since that night. I just hoped my pokerface was good enough to move on past any awkwardness.

“Let me get your thoughts on this,” Harry sits down across from me with a yoghurt. He’d just come from the gym and seeing him shirtless now was just another Thursday afternoon.

He’d taken to using me as a soundboard lately which started out interesting and got old quickly. He loved to hear himself talk, I’ve concluded. And I was forced to listen. And he always lied. He never wanted my thoughts on anything, just an ego stroke.

And just like usual he launches into a song he’s working on and something about string progression and inversion. I nod along until my phone rings and I pick it up instantly.

Graham and I speak about the details of event and I reassure him everything would run smoothly. When I’m done Harry’s nearly done the smoothie he grabbed while I was on the phone.

“Austria tomorrow, everything’s prepped?”

“Yep, for you.”

“Not for you?”

“I have the rest of the week off?” I remind him just like I’d been doing for the last two weeks. So this wouldn’t happen.

“You do? I thought that was next week. What am I gonna do without you there it’s 4 days.”

“I reckon you’ll survive,” I say with a light tone but I’ve learned the art of backhanded jokes. It felt like the only way to get some of my aggression out. “Plus Riley’s joining you Saturday afternoon.”

“So I’ll be alone on Friday?”

I look up from my laptop, “Are you ever really alone?”

“I guess I’ll just have to invite one of my girls to keep me company,” he continues watching me. “Keep my bed warm.”

“If you’d like,” I hated when he tried to make me uncomfortable. “Let me know which one and I can cut her a ticket.”

He clenches his jaw and levels me with an irritated look. “I’m sure Vienna has many beautiful people to choose from.”

Ignore ignore ignore. I go back to my screen and leave him on heard.

***

“It’s been too long,” Gray clinks his glass with mine. It’s Friday night and we’re having an early anniversary celebration.

This whole weekend I promised Gray I would be his from Friday though Sunday even though our actual anniversary was on Monday.

Our relationship that was once so strong, supportive, and loving had started treading rocky grounds. I felt jostled and very close to being kicked right off the ride altogether.

I look at my fiancé’s face, his dark features and serious looks made him look intimidating but a flicker of his smile and you felt like you were on the ins with him about something. I had missed him.

The last time we did anything together was at the beginning of summer. I had a long weekend off and he’d driven us to lake district, soaking in the sun and hiking along the peaks. We’d had a serious conversation about our relationship but a lot of it had felt like me apologizing and him accusing.

“You look radiant,” Gray reaches for my hand. “How are you?”

I didn’t think he wanted the real answer. I hold back a sigh and replace it with a smile, “Alright. Better now to be with you.”

He kisses the back of my hand and my stomach flutters. “Me too. I’m excited for this weekend.”

“Let’s see we’re seeing friends tomorrow for brunch, then doing old school movies and dinner in the evening.”

“That was one of our first dates don’t make fun.”

“I’m not! It’s a classic I’m excited. It’s been so long since I saw a movie with you.”

With Harry, I’d seen a few. I was always told to tag along on premieres Riley passed on.

“And Sunday we’re just being lazy bed bugs.”

“Mmm that sounds amazing.” I could use a day in bed. A week in bed would be even better.

The night is perfect and romantic and it soothes the heartache I’d been carrying, the guilt that I was killing my relationship. Gray is attentive and we laugh like we always did.

I don’t mention work. It makes me anxious knowing I had to put the biggest part of my life on mute in order to keep the good vibes going with Gray.

Saturday brunch brings me back to life. I’d missed our friends and catching up on their lives, all the chatter and the laughter. Gray keeps reaching for me at the table and I feel like I belong.

“So how’s the tyrant?” My friends had started calling Harry that since he always kept me from most of our social outings.

“The usual,” I try to keep it short for Gray’s sake.

“Grayson was complaining that you spend more time with him than your actual fiancé!”

“Is that so?” I turn to Gray with a teasing expression but he’s serious.

“I wouldn’t have helped her with the job if I knew,” Gray jokes when I nudge him. The table laughs but I fake it, knowing the kernel of truth in it.

“He can’t be all that bad?” Another friend asks.

“Nope. Pretty consistently bad,” I tell them. “I’m just telling myself it’s vital experience. It’s the only thing that helps me sleep.”

“When she sleeps at all,” Gray slips in another passive joke and I try to distance myself from it.

“Just wait, in a couple years I’ll be living my best life.” I raise my glass.

“To y/n’s best life,” the table cheers.

On the walk home from brunch Gray and I swing hands in between us. I want to bring up his passive comments but it feels stuck in my throat. His hand feels like lead in mine.

“Gray-“

“I’m sorry. I got a bit salty at brunch,” Gray admits. I nearly deflate completely with the sigh that comes out of me.

“That’s okay,” I kiss his cheek. His hand feels like an extension of mine again. “I know there’s a lot of things we don’t talk about, I know my job doesn’t make you happy. But I appreciate that you still support me and keep the peace even when I can be a bit of a dick sometimes.”

“Hey,” Gray stops and tugs me to him. “I love you. Nothing changes that.”

“I love you too,” he kisses me with the same passion he did last night, our first intimate night after a couple months. With the urgency in his kiss I can tell it wouldn’t be another couple until the next.

***

We get back in around 8 and I happily kick off the dress and boots I wore to dinner to snuggle in my pjs. I watch Gray remove his contacts as I comb through my hair.

“I still can’t believe that ending,” Gray says to me in the mirror.

“Same, I feel like everyone’s kept it so hush I didn’t even know there was going to be a plot twist!”

“I kind of saw it coming-“

“You did not!” I flick Gray. “Why do guys love to brag about seeing a movie ending coming.”

“It’s our roman empire,” he grins.

“You’re using that in the wrong context,” I roll my eyes. “Josie would be so disappointed. Oh I didn’t even turn my phone back on after the movie, Josie had texted me something.”

“Just leave it,” Gray calls out as I go back into the room to get my purse. “Let’s keep our phones off, stay unplugged tonight.”

“Too late,” I grin as my phone powers on already.

I know Gray stayed nervous about any call I got during our down time because he always thought it was Harry. To be honest I was surprised he hadn’t bothered me more than asking for a password yesterday.

As my services connect my phone vibrates with a dozen oncoming messages.

“Y/n,” I hear Grayson say in warning but my eyes stay glued to the screen that flicker with notifications.

I look up once they settle, my eyes are as wide as saucers and Gray’s watch me through the mirror, heavy and resigned.

“Please, ignore it,” Gray pleads just once.

“I just…I need to know what it’s about.” I plead back.

“It’s going to spiral,” he warns. “You can’t just look y/n you’re gonna get involved.”

“What if it’s an emergency? He wouldn’t message like this unless it’s an emergency!”

“Like the documents on Josie’s birthday? Or the hospital appointment that one bank holiday? Or his empty fridge on-“

“I get it. But Gray I have 14 notifications. And it’s from his manager too it’s gotta be an-“

“You have a life y/n!” Gray turns around quick like a pistol whip, I stumble back into the doorframe. “He has other people in his life other than you they can figure it out! Why do you keep putting your job, this man, before me? Before us?!”

“I’m not trying to! I’m not!” I stutter.

“What’s the worst case scenario huh? He tries you, and you don’t answer because you’re off. And he’ll find someone else to help—those type always have someone else.”

“You don’t get it-“

“I get it.” Gray lowers his volume. He looks around for his glasses and slides them on. “I get it clearly. You’re just scared you’re replaceable to Harry Styles.”

His words stun me a little. All I can do is watch as he puts on jeans and grabs his phone.

“Do you ever wonder who else in your life’s replaceable?” Gray says before he slams our door shut.

I sink back and my mind races with everything Grayson just said. I was awful, he must feel even more awful and I-

My phone vibrates. Jeff.

“H-hi?” I answer.

“What the fuck y/n! I’ve been trying to reach you for the last 2 hours-“

“My phone was off-“

“Have you even gotten any of the messages we’ve left you-“

“I’m not working today-“

“Obviously,” He cuts me off for the hundredth time. “Harry’s in Vienna alone with god knows who!”

I don’t point out the contradiction in his sentence.

“Isn’t Riley supposed to be with him?”

“Riley quit.”

“What?! When?”

“Today. Apparently the sneak’s been cozying up with one of Harry’s supposed friends. He’s left us high and dry!”

“Is that why you’re calling me?” My confusion grows.

“Jesus no. Just look at your bloody messages.”

I put him on speaker and check the link to the photos he sent me. I gasp.

Harry looks a mess, one in a bar and another right outside it. With a questionable choice of friends.

“He’s not answering his phone,” Jeff continues. “Nobody can reach him and Riley decided to courier the stupid phone back to the penthouse so we don’t have access to his gps. But you do. That’s why I’m trying to reach you y/n. You’ve gotta go there and get him home.”

“Get him home? He’s in another country!”

“Yes, for that niche fucking awards show. You gotta get him back to his hotel and sober him up. We paid some fucker way too much money not to leak these photos and I don’t want to find out some other fucker took more.”

“Isn’t this something his publicist should be doing? Or you?” I’m starting to get angry. Why was Harry like a big fucking toddler that I had to go get when he was misbehaving. “I took the weekend off-“

“Listen. Y/n. We will pay you 5 times your rate if you just get on a plane and sort him out. I’m in Iceland right now. On holiday! Nobody is paying me 5 times the amount to deal with this and I don’t get back to the UK until tomorrow.”

“His publicis-“

“And Graham is the one that caught all this but he doesn’t fly out until tomorrow. So that leaves you. Mr. Styles’ personal assistant.”

I think about Gray, should I call him? Let him know? Fuck. Fuck Harry and his ability to ruin my whole life.

“I don’t have a choice here do I?” I ask wearily.

“Sure you do, one gets you a nice pay check. The other doesn’t.”

“Fuck,” I swear just loud enough for him to hear. “Do you know when the next flight is.”

“There’s a private jet that can leave within the hour I’ll text you the address can you make it?”

I map it. 30 or so minutes away. I look around my room—I had my emergency duffle with my passport the Harry Survival Guide told me to keep so I didn’t need to pack much.

“Yeah. I’ll be there.”

***

“Out of all the fucking nights,” I swear as I take the elevator down. The flight had been under 2 hours and I’d kept my eyes glued to Harry’s phone locator. He’d moved one location so far. The hotel wasn’t too far from this location so I drop my bags off on the en-suite and head out into the beautiful city.

It’s buzzing despite the hour and I wish it was a calmer trip so I could take pictures and soak in the beauty of Vienna.

Instead I trudge on to the little dot on my phone and avoid thinking about Gray and how much he would love this city. And how badly I betrayed him tonight.

What to do when he won’t answer the phone: track his gps, get good at lock-picking and don’t be shy to call whoever he’s out with to get ahold of him. Harry not answering his phone unexpectedly usually means bad decisions.

I find Harry in a kitschy club but it’s not easy. In the flashes of blue and purple lights I sort through all the men about the same height as him. None of them are him.

I knew he was here. I scan the room a second time, he had to be in one of the private sections.

I walk the perimeter until I see a flash of a familiar laugh.

“Harry!” I shout but a man in a suit steps in front of me.

“Private area,” he says in a rough accent.

“I’m his assistant I need to see him!” I point to Harry but he just steps in my way again. I shout Harry’s name and on the second try he looks up.

“Heyy!” He lights up and picks his way over the people sitting around him. He loops his arm around the brick wall in front of me. “That’s y/n! Y/n you came let her in!”

“Thank you,” I shoot the man a dirty look even though I knew he was just doing his job. He was the difference between a PR disaster and no disaster. “Harry we-“

“Have a drink!” He slurs. My heart quickens when I get a glimpse of the table with an assortment of drugs all over it. “Relax. C’mon c’mon!”

Harry pours me champagne and leads me by the hand to where he was just sitting. A couple shift away to make room for me but I stay standing as Harry sinks into the cushion.

“Mr. Styles we-“

“Ms. Y/L/N,” Harry says seriously before bursting into laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this uninhibited before. One part of me is nervous and another part finds it intriguing.

He tugs me down and I tip into the couch, the champagne sloshing over the rim. What the-

“Relax,” he whispers into my ear. It goes straight to my stomach. “Have some champagne and enjoy the night!”

“I want to-“

“Your fiancé won’t let you drink with me? Is that the issue here?”

“No,” I bite. “I am taking you back-“

“I,” Harry sits up and hovers over me. “I am not speaking to you until you drink! Good god woman, lean back! Relax! What do Americans say take a chill pill?”

“I don’t need a chill pill.”

Harry mimes zipping his lips closed.

I roll my eyes and bring the champagne to my lips to take a mock sip but he must anticipate this. Using his finger he tips the glass even further. Half of it drips down my chin.

“Agh!” I jerk the glass away but Harry just laughs. “This is so not funny.”

He leans in smiling. I expect him to stop but he continues moving into me until his lips are on my jaw. His mouth coasts over my skin before he buries his head in my neck where the champagne had dripped down leaving a pool of heat-

“Harry!” I jerk away and push my hands into his chest to prop him up. His eyes are half-closed but as intense as ever as he looks into mine.

What the fuck. What the fuck just happened.

My hands are shaking, steady only because of the force of Harry pressing into them. I feel the tears springing to my eyes, why the fuck did he just…

“Sorry,” he smiles, his finger brushing my cheek. “Y’had some champagne there.”

It was nothing, I tell myself. He’s drunk and taken god knows what. He’s out of his mind. And he was going for the champagne, not me.

I loosen my arms but he comes back towards me again.

“Fuck this,” I mutter. I push him back into the sofa and get up. “We are going back to the hotel. Now.”

“Just stay a little longer here. It’s life. I’m bloody famous!” His hands come around my waist to pull me towards him but I dig my heel in.

I grab him by the shirt and haul his lanky body up, it’s like lifting a slab of marble. We nearly fall into the table but I catch us on my back leg in time.

I get us outside and call a taxi. Harry sways into me and I help keep him up.

“S’cold,” he complains.

“It’s really not.” I look back to him but he doesn’t look good. I lean him against the wall gently. “Harry look at me.”

He eyes stay closed but his head bobbles and he starts to tip forward again.

“Harry!” I nearly slap him. Instead I push him against the wall and use my body to keep him propped upright. I grab his face in my hands. “Harry look at me you’re scaring me.”

“You’re scaring me,” he slurs.

I shake his face a bit and try to pry open an eye which makes him laugh.

“I was alone,” he mumbles.

“I am not carrying you into or out of that car so you better stay conscious.” I tap his cheek.

“You’re no fun.” He says and I ignore him. “I was alone but you came.”

“Not out of any choice,” I mumble.

Our taxi arrives and I’m shaking him every few minutes to keep him conscious. At the hotel I get some help to his room when they recognize his face.

I drop him in bed with a sigh of relief. He looked pathetic like that. And I wanted to cry out of frustration.

I take his shoes off and then his shirt, deciding to keep his trousers on. I leave a bottle of water on his bedside with painkillers and head to the bathroom. For the second time tonight I get ready for bed.

I scrub the sticky champagne out of my neck and block out the feeling of his lips on me. Block out the confusing feelings that arose.

I grab my phone and pray for a text from Gray but there’s nothing. I update Jeff and he sends me a thumbs up. All that and just a fucking thumbs up.

***

Still no text from Gray the next morning.

Harry’s still in bed when I get up. I crack on and order both of us breakfast, ordering the most expensive things just to get something out of being here.

Harry wakes to the smell of coffee, groaning as soon as he sits up. I don’t know what he took last night but it serves him right.

“Y/n?” He sounds just as confused as last night.

“In the flesh,” I nearly growl.

“I thought Riley’s s’pose to be here?”

“So you do remember I’m supposed to be off all weekend.” I can’t hold back on the sass. I’m too mad at everyone.

“Yeah…what?”

“Riley quit.”

“Riley…quit? That’s why you’re here?”

“No.” I want to throw my cup of coffee in his face. “I’m here because you weren’t answering your phone last night and the only updates we were getting were compromising pictures of you absolutely pissed.”

“You sound like my publicist.”

“Your publicist had to pay the photographer off.”

“It couldn’t be that bad,” Harry swings his legs over the side of the bed and winces. He notices the painkillers and pops them. “Did you undress me?”

I pull the photos up on my phone and show them to him. He throws the phone down on the bed after a glance.

“Okay so he sent you to get me back to the hotel?”

“Jeff called me.”

“Jeff’s on holiday.”

“So was I.” My anger brews over. “I had 2 fucking days off Harry and I couldn’t even get that! You had to go to Vienna and get pappd doing the stupidest shit and of course I have to come in and save your ass because I can’t get any time these days to just be!”

He groans as he gets up and shuffles towards me. My heart picks up speed but he simply reaches for the coffee and takes a big gulp. The silence stretches out after my outburst and I wait with an anxious anger for what comes out of his mouth.

“You didn’t have to come. I could have lived with the consequences of being an idiot last night-“

“Jeff didn’t give me a choic-“

“There’s always a choice,” he holds up his finger to my face, hovering an inch from my lips. “Jeff can’t do shite. If he fired you he needs my final say. So again, I didn’t ask you to come here.”

Fuck him, I think. Does he really think I could have said no and gone on with my night? Since it didn’t come out of his mouth, he vanishes any accountability? He’d totally at fault here.

“Secondly,” he wasn’t finished I guess and his eyes are like laser beams into my soul. “It’s Mr. Styles.”

Anything I was about to mouth off on disappears. Like a sinkhole it all collapses below the surface and I’m left feeling as I always did—humiliated.

“Now,” Harry puts his cup down. “That’s not to say thank you for coming to my rescue yesterday. I don’t remember a lot of it so I’m not sure what happened but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.”

I don’t answer. I bite my tongue until it falls right off and I can swallow it. I wish I could also swallow the memory of his lips that spring to mind.

“It is a Sunday, if you’d like to take it off feel free. The stylist team is coming around 4 to get me ready for tonight.”

“Well, you’ll need me to coordinate this evening since that was the point of Riley being here,” my voice comes out smoother than I felt.

“Ok,” he dismisses me. “I need a shower.”

He leaves and I clench my fists to keep from throwing everything within range at him. How could he flip the script like this? Turn my life upside down and then act like he did nothing wrong?

I go to my phone and hover over Grayson to call him but i have a notification from him. He’s sent me a message, it’s a link.

I click it. It’s a small article in a tabloid about Harry Styles and his mystery woman. You can’t tell it’s me but our pose looks intimate from last night—him leaning against the wall with my knee in between his legs and my body propping him up while my hands hold his face.

But Grayson knows its me.

I get my other phone and message it in the group with Harry’s publicist.

He responds casually: It’ll blow over don’t worry. Can’t see your face plus romantic is better than looking fucked up like the other pics.

It would blow over for Harry but not for me.

I try to call Grayson but he doesn’t pick up.

I close the room door and bury myself in bed, aching so hard it was hard to believe I was still breathing. It felt like an end, I know I could talk it through with Grayson and explain once he saw the other photos. But something feels like it died tonight.

***

“Y/n?” A voice sings outside my door. “Helloo?”

I feel hungover as I open my crusty eyes. I’m in an unfamiliar room and-

“Hello hello?”

I sit up. I was in a hotel suite and I had to help get Harry to his show. Shit.

I look at the time, it’s nearly 5.

“Sorry!” I shout at whoever was behind the door. “Sorry one sec!”

One look in the mirror and I know I had to throw my hair up. I swish some mouthwash around and exit to the lounge.

“Hi,” a woman I’ve never met smiles kindly at me.

“Sorry. Did you need something from me?”

“Yes,” she takes my arm and leads me towards where Harry was getting his hair done. He looks amused as he watches me. “I need you here. We need to get you ready.”

“Oh no,” I say but sit where I’m told by this commanding woman. “Oh I’m just helping coordinate so you just focus on Mr.-“

“Y/n,” Harry’s deep voice cuts me off. “Riley comes with me to these things when Jeff isn’t around. Since neither are here you’re joining me and Graham.”

I look for his publicist but I’m told he was running late. Great.

“I didn’t sign up for this,” I say as the woman takes a wet wipe to my face. “I thought I had Sunday off.”

“You reminded me you’re replacing Riley,” Harry says. “And I got the team to get you a few things but I don’t know your size. I’m sure one of them will fit. Kit can tailor it if you need.”

“Wha…” my face is positioned to the side and cream is dotted all over. I shut my mouth and glance at Harry which becomes a glare when I realize he’s enjoying this.

“Lighten up Y/N, it’s not the end of the world.”

He didn’t know. It was the end of my world.

***

The red carpet or whatever this imitation of it was is a sensory nightmare. Graham had explained on the car over I was to stick to the shadows with him and his security detail. I don’t know why they stuck me in this beautifully tailored pantsuit just to be in the shadows. But apparently I could keep it so I was happy about that.

While Harry gets his name shouted and photos taken I watch from the side, hiding behind Graham’s shoulder so I don’t get caught in any pictures. The flashes still make my head hurt.

Again, we stand off to the side as Harry gets interviewed by labels I recognized and others that must be local. One woman has the nerve to ask,

“So Harry the whole internet is dying to know who your mystery woman is. Would you like to give our viewers a hint?”

I stiffen and Graham glances my way with a warning look. He’d already prepped Harry in the car but I couldn’t believe someone would be so bold as to ask. But that was show business.

“Ah you know what the media’s like, all out of context. I love the theories especially the one about this being my secret fiancé but I would like the viewers to know I’m not engaged, very much single, and not to believe everything you see online.”

I hold my breath as Harry answers but he’s a natural, I had to admit. He went off script a little—he wasn’t supposed to acknowledge the content of the photo, but he did so with grace and humour. Wow. I could learn a few things.

Graham relaxes beside me once the reporter laughs and asks if he sees himself not being single any time soon. When we finally move on Graham wraps his arm around Harry’s shoulder and gives it a shake.

“You did good kid,” he kisses his cheek with all the leftover adrenaline from the carpet. “I’ll see you in there. I see some friends I want to catch up with first.”

Then it’s just Harry and I, and his shadow of a security detail who Harry dismisses while he’s inside the room.

“So I guess now’s the part you go to your seat?” I ask. There was no What to do at an Awards Show so I was clueless and I decided I would create one myself to keep the legacy of all these dos and don’ts.

“It is,” Harry looks…nervous? His eyes flicker around the room and his jaw twitches. I do a sweep of my own, there’s a lot of people I don’t recognize and those I do I’m just about dying trying to stay casual.

“I thought that reporter was going to propose after you cleared up how single you were.”

“Hm?” Harry looks at me—in heels I was finally near eye-level to him. His gaze clears as he takes in what I said and I consider it a win getting him back down to earth. “Oh. Her, yeah she was cheeky with those questions wasn’t she?”

His smile makes me stomach dip. “Yeah she slipped them in so expertly. I thought ‘I have to take some tips from her’. And you, you were good dodging the question.”

“I didn’t lie,” Harry’s now fully engaged in our conversation. I give myself a pat on the back. “It was just you and I am still single.”

Just you. I fake a laugh, “Yeah. That photo is proof that I’m stronger than I look because you were deadweight and I managed to get you to bed y’know that.”

His green eyes flicker up and down my face for a beat. “I know that. I…hope that picture didn’t get you into any trouble.”

I look away, unsure how to answer. He brings a hand to my arm. “I can talk to someone if it helps?”

“Oh no,” my cheeks flush. “No I don’t think that would make anything better but thank you. I…appreciate the-“

“Harry? Oh my god it’s you!”

I retreat in a quarter of a second, invisible once again for Harry to shine with his colleagues. It’s a singer I recognize but I only remember her stage name, Dragon something. I watch them embrace and I try to wind up the spool of thread I’d released when Harry showed some kindness.

I think I had some issues, I became unrecognizable every time Harry was nice for a moment. I had to remember that it was temporary and there were boundaries I couldn’t cross.

Yesterday flashes into my mind. God, was it just yesterday?

Harry starts walking with the other musician arm in arm. It comes to me as I follow why I knew her. There were rumours shortly before I interviewed with Harry about seeing him on the town with this woman. So they had history. Of course.

By the time Graham joins me in our seats I’ve become part of the wallpaper and I feel like I’m being torn away when he acknowledges me to ask if everything had gone ok. I stay invisible for the rest of the evening and I try to remember that’s how it would be.

***

We’re sat on the tarmac for the ride home and I try to refresh my messages over and over but Gray hasn’t responded after I’d told him we had to talk. He was stupidly good at the cold shoulder and I felt like a needy bitch whenever he got like this.

“Could I get a water y/n?” Harry asks from across the aisle. He has his head tipped back and he looks awful—consequences of an after party where he drank himself silly again and relied on me to get him home. I did make friends with some other PAs who were roped to the party so that was the only highlight.

“Sure.” I go to the front of the jet where Graham is typing away on his laptop, oblivious to the rest of us. I grab Harry a coffee too. “It’ll help with the hangover.”

Harry accepts it graciously and I go back to refreshing my phone.

I thought he’d fallen asleep an hour into the flight until he unbuckles his seat and slips in beside me.

“Can I get your phone?” He holds his hand out.

“Why?” I ask suspiciously.

“You’re driving me crazy refreshing that thing it’s like you’re getting paid per refresh.”

I was lost in a trance doing it. I put the phone facedown on my lap but he takes it from me.

“Hey-“

“I’m keeping this until we land. I promise you if you haven’t gotten any messages by now you won’t get any at all.”

His patronizing tone wriggles something loose and I have to look away, out the window, so he doesn’t see the tears.

“My offer still stands,” he says quietly after my silence. I shake my head.

“Thanks,” my voice wavers. “It won’t help. He just gets…quiet. Any time there’s an issue he just goes quiet and it drives me f…crazy. I feel crazy.”

“You kind of look it.” I’m ready to throw him a dirty look but Harry’s smiling when I look at him. I was rarely on the receiving end of such a handsome look that I forget I was going to be mad. “What? You do, hunched over your phone pressing down over and over. My neck hurts just looking at you.”

I sigh and leans back into the seat, trying to straighten myself out.

“Sorry,” I sniffle. “I just need some sort of proof of life from him. He knows it drives me crazy when he ignores me but he does it anyway. He could be dead for all I know. Anyway, I’ll stop now you can give me my phone back.”

“Mmm no,” Harry pats the pocket he put it in. “You listen to me. It stays here.”

I don’t fight him. It was for my own good.

He sits with me for the rest of the flight. It should be uncomfortable but having another person’s presence beside me—knowing there was a shoulder pressing against mine, makes me feel a little less lonely today.

He probably didn’t intend that, I rethink the thought. Harry wasn’t thoughtful like that, he was probably just too lazy to move back.

We take the car home when we land but Harry tells me to take the rest of the Monday off even though it was already 2.

“And y/n,” Harry stops me before I exit the car where it stalls outside my complex.

“Yes?” I wait for the other shoe to drop—I had the day off but…

“If he knows it drives you crazy, and he truly loves you, he should respect you and give you a chance to talk. You deserve that.”

My breath catches at the unexpected words. I feel my defences go up.

“You’ll work it out,” he rushes on when I don’t respond.

I’m left feeling slightly reassured and mostly confused.

“Thank you,” I look at him a beat too long and it feels awkward so I scramble out and head up. To someone I hope was willing to listen like Harry said.

***

Like a baby calf out of the womb, my relationship stays on shaky grounds. It feels like building a foundation all over again after thinking that was already done with, but Hurricane Harry had caused a lot of damage.

Now 9 months into my new job I wasn’t always so on edge. But I was busy.

With no Riley, the team had decided to hold off on hiring anyone new and my work load had tripled. I’d brought it up casually and just as casually Harry had let me know I would be compensated.

I thought about Vienna a lot. Things were done and said there that should change our dynamic but didn’t. Not much. Harry was still an ass, he still demanded most of my time, and I still suffered from major anxiety about my life falling apart.

So maybe I was still on edge, just about different things.

“G’morning,” Gray whispers to me. I wanted to sleep in and cuddle with my fiancé but I’d already snoozed my alarm and I knew I had to get to work. I had errands to run all over town.

“Morning,” I burrow my head into his warm body. “I don’t wanna work.”

He kisses the top of my head. “How about I join you on some of those errands you mentioned? We can get coffee?”

I’m suddenly excited about going to work.

Gray laughs when I climb over him and kiss him like a lunatic, and we’ve been together too long to be embarrassed about morning breath or pillow face. I can’t believe I almost lost him.

The day is perfect as Gray and I move around town doing odd bits. We get to grab lunch together and I’m so glad what a good sport Gray had been about it all since I’d forced him to carry any heavy items.

“I’ll see you for dinner,” Gray drops me off at Harry’s. We linger in the lobby for a few minutes. “I’m cooking.”

“Mmm can’t wait,” I kiss him before taking the load from him. “Thank you for coming with me today.”

“I had fun, I hate to admit it.” He grins as I walk backwards to the elevator. He takes my breath away.

Grayson’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something but I collide into a body behind me before he can warn me.

“Oh shit sorry I-“ I turn and Harry stands behind me with Jeff walking off the elevator. He was probably headed to the studio and I was late. Dammnit!

“Y/N,” Harry says.

“I’m so. Sorry,” I look between Gray, Jeff, and Harry. Do I introduce everyone? Do I apologize and rush to drop these things off so I could join them like I’m supposed to?

Jeff makes it easy, walking away on his phone. Then it’s Harry and Gray.

“I’m sorry I meant to be upstairs five minutes ago.” I tell Harry who’s expression is hard to read. “Uhm…this is Grayson my fiance I don’t think y’all have met he was just dropping me off since I had my hands full. Um. Gray this is…well you know who this is I-“

My blabbering is cut short as Harry steps forward to shake hands and I nearly die at the steely look Gray gives him. Also, why the fuck did I say y’all?! I wasn’t even southern.

“Grayson Duran yeah? Nice to meet you,” Harry says. I’m surprised he knows his full name. He must have asked his friends.

“Yeah,” Gray drops his hand. “The infamous Harry Styles—I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Likewise,” Harry says, glancing at me. Why would he say that. “As much as I’d love to chat, y/n you’re late and we’re heading to the studio. Can you give all that to the concierge?”

“Yes,” I nod. “Have you got-“

“I grabbed my things yes. I’ll see you in the car.”

Harry nods to Gray and leaves an air of cologne and annoyance behind. Gray and I lock eyes and I burn with embarrassment.

“What a dick,” Gray mumbles.

I’m offended, wait, why am I offended? It’s not like Harry wasn’t a dick.

“Yeah, I gotta go sorry babe.” I rush to the concierge and explain the delivery.

“Y’all?” Gray asks when I rush back to him.

“I know I know,” I cringe. “It just came out. I gotta go but thank you so much for today. Loveyoubye!”

I give him a quick peck and rush out, nearly collapsing into Harry’s car.

“Sorry about that, being late. That won’t happen again I meant to be there before you left-“

“As long as it doesn’t happen again,” Harry says stiffly, staring out the window. He was a dick, Gray was right. But why was I so offended at him saying that right after meeting him?

Things felt so confusing these days and I just wanted time to catch my breath and figure things out. A few more weeks and I’d get some time off for the holidays at least, I was looking forward to that.

***

Even though I planned the intimate holiday party and spent countless hours on the phone making sure every detail would be perfect I can’t help but criticize it as I join.

“Maybe I should have gone with a live band,” I mutter as someone takes mine and Grayson’s coats. Tonight I was supposed to shut my brain off as Harry said, and enjoy the party as a guest. But that part was hard to shut off after nearly 10 months of re-wiring it.

Grayson was tough to convince but finally he’d agreed to come to the party. Things were mostly back to normal with us. I tried to be home by 7 most nights and didn’t talk about work too much.

But sometimes it felt like a volcano lived inside me with how much I had to compartmentalize and keep in and when times got really tough, I wanted to spew everywhere.

“Josie told me your mom’s doing bohemian Christmas?” I ask Gray as we hover by the foyer. I’d just had a catchup with her yesterday now that she was finished exams. “Do you know what that means.”

“Mum’s crazy,” Gray sighs. His relationship with her was always followed by a sigh, an eye roll, a heavy resignation for who she was. I never quite understood it.

Josie, on the other hand, loved their loud and free-spirited mother. As for me, I thought she was the most interesting woman I ever met and we’d gotten along instantly.

“She’s always got some new idea up her sleeve,” I try to make things more positive. “What do you want a bet it’s going to be vegan?”

“I don’t bet when I know that’s what she’s serving. That’s why we do dad’s for lunch and hers for dinner. We’re too stuffed once we get there to care what she’s serving.”

“Remember when I tried to get you to go vegan and-“

“Y/N! Hi,” I’m interrupted by a friendly face in the crowd and end up chatting with people I’d worked with the last few months. We introduce our partners and they chat but I keep an eye on Grayson, in case anything changes.

I watch Harry’s friends trickle in and Gray lights up when he sees Liam and a few other people he trained.

I flit around the room with ease after that, knowing Gray had friends to keep him company. I make sure drinks are filled and catering is setting up. Until a hand stops me.

“You’re not supposed to be working tonight,” Harry reminds me.

“Yes. Right. Well…”

“Y/N,” he warns.

“Okay!” I throw my hands up. “Not working, here look I’m enjoying myself!”

I pick up a random drink and take a big sip. Champagne. Suddenly I remember the last time I drank champagne in front of Harry and I nearly cough it back up.

“Ugh,” Harry hands me a napkin and I try not to bristle. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I clear my throat. “Yeah sorry just…just not a fan of champagne.”

We lock eyes and I’m gripped with the sudden and very real possibility that Harry may actually remember parts of that night.

When his eyes flicker down to my neck, it’s confirmed. Oh god.

“Well! I’m off to find a better drink!” I turn too quickly, nearly taking out the caterer who was setting up hors d’œuvres on the table. “Sorry!”

Oh my god. Harry remembered.

Did he remember this whole time? Was he pretending to forget that night? Did he ever remember the moment randomly in my presence like I did?

I had to stop freaking out. It had been months!

Where was Grayson.

I locate my fiancé in a random group but his eyes are already on me. I raise a hand and he smiles, raising a finger to tell me he’d be there in a moment.

My mind races in the meantime, wondering if I should mention the incident to Harry and tell him I was fine. Or maybe that proved the opposite. No. I should just keep it unspoken like we had this whole time. Oh my god!

“Quite a turnout,” Grayson comes back to me. Two drinks in his hand. “I saw you talking to Harry why did you look so scared? Did he say something?”

“Oh!” Of course Gray saw. “No. I just…almost choked on my champagne the fizz y’know? And then I didn’t want to make a scene so I left.”

“Hm,” Gray wraps his hand around my waist. “Hey I see a mistletoe I’m going to nudge you in that direction.”

“You don’t need a mistletoe to kiss me babe.”

“It’s supposed to be romantic.”

I let him lead me to it and he kisses me with a knee-bending passion.

“Woah,” I feel dazed when we finally part. “That was fucking romantic.”

“Yeah?” He grins.

“Excuse me!” Harry’s voice rings over the crowd and the room hushes slowly. “Uh hiya! Thank you all for coming tonight and making me feel like I have friends during the holidays.”

A quiet laugh rumbles over the crowd. Harry looks magnetic on his makeshift podium, he’s in a cozy red sweater that I know cost more than my month’s salary and a collar peeks out from under it. He’s got on navy slacks and tinsel thrown over his shoulder. I’d bought that sweater, I remember. But he managed to pull the rest of the outfit together well.

“…a few people.” He continues. I’d zoned out. “My manager Jeff of course—this year has been a roller coaster and you’ve managed it all. Charlie, Claire, Niji, Elin, Sarah, and Mitch. We had a ball playing our hidden shows this fall but we have so much planned for the year ahead. I’m beyond grateful that you all came into my life and we get to make music together!”

A few whoops in the crowd and the people he mention raise their hands and shout out their own praises to Harry.

Harry thanks a few more people and says some more kind words. I don’t expect him to zero in on me.

“Last, but not least folks, I want to thank somebody who joined my team this year. She’s seen a lot—she’s been in the trenches my friends, she has. But she’s stuck with me. She’s planned everything tonight so really you’re all here because of her. Y/N, please make yourself known and everyone should give her a thank you if you talk to her tonight for tonight.”

Oh god. I am as bright as Harry’s sweater and with every single eye turning on me I’m sure I also turn every shade of the rainbow. I paste on a grin that feels like I’m the Joker and hope it looks normal.

I wave awkwardly and make eyes with Harry across the room who looks like he’s having a ball putting me in the centre of everyone’s attention. I was really going to wring his neck but he winks at me and finally turns the attention back to him with a few closing words, then starting the music and food.

“Am I alive?” I ask Gray beside me whose hand had dropped from my waist during the last few minutes. “I think I died of embarrassment and turned into the ghost of Christmas’ present.”

I turn to Gray and he looks around me. “Hello? Is someone talking to me?”

“Gray!” I push his shoulder and he laughs. “I hated every second of that.”

“I know,” Gray laughs again. “You hate attention.”

“I do! I swear Harry was up there gloating didn’t you notice? Ugh I hate him.”

Gray’s expression shutters for a second. “Yeah, he definitely knew what he was doing.”

“Y/N, quite a shoutout.” A voice says from my right. It’s Liam who I hadn’t seen myself in ages. I go in for a hug and hope my embarrassment clears away as we catch up.

As the night goes on I ease up a little, enjoy the mingling and the drinks. Especially the drinks. The evening’s embarrassment and everyone coming up to me knowing my name was hell so I drink to keep up the liquid courage.

Coming out of the toilets for the tenth time that night with all the drinks I was downing, I notice a light on in the room.

I go to it, in case it was a guest in a place they shouldn’t be.

I don’t spot him at first, flicking off the lights only to see a shadow move. Harry.

“Oh! It’s you. Is everything alright?” I lean in the doorway. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in this office actually. He always hovered outside it like I was now.

“Yeah yeah, just came for some air.” He walks up to me and I step out of the way so he can leave. But he stays just inside so I move back to my spot.

“Air? In the smallest room here?”

“Yeah,” he smiles like he’s been caught. “I was looking for you. We ran out of ice I just don’t remember where you stored the rest.”

“Well I’m not working remember? So I don’t know.”

“Touché. I guess the guests will just have a shite time with their lukewarm drinks.”

Ugh. He knew me too well.

“Fine. I’ll get the bag. By the way, that wasn’t funny. What you did earlier.” I put my hands on my hips, ready to give him a piece of my mind for embarrassing me.

“What!? It wasn’t meant to be funny. I’m expressing my gratitude y/n.”

“In front of a whole room of random people who are all looking at me? You know I would have hated it!”

“Let’s just say I’m trying to get you out of your shell,” Harry teases. He smells of his usual cologne, the fresh soap he used, and scotch. I spot the empty glass on my desk.

“I’m plenty out of my shell thank you. You know, you could have just said it to me privately. That would have meant more.”

His mouth opens but nothing comes out. He inhales sharply and turns around.

“What?” I ask his back.

“Nothing.” He turns back around. “You do good work y/n, people should know.”

Now it’s my turn to go quiet. I only seemed to do this when Harry was nice. Because otherwise I knew how mean he could be. Why couldn’t there just be a balance.

“Why are you so randomly nice to me?”

Oops. All those drinks made for some loose lips.

“What?” He’s taken aback.

“Yeah,” I feel fired up now that it’s out. “You ignore me half the time—not that I expect to be bffs but at least a hello now and then would be nice. Then when you do talk it’s grunts and clipped answers. You’re pretty mean to me! And suddenly out of nowhere it’s like-like this 180 and you’re really nice. And praising me in front of a crowd. What’s up with that?”

His expression retreats the more I talk and I know I’ve dug myself into a hole. Forget the whole speech just now I’m pretty sure I’ve just written my own termination notice.

“I have to be,” he says simply after an awkward pause.

“Have to?” I demand. “You have to be mean to me?”

The long deleted Dos and Dont list when I first joined flashes through my mind. Did that have something to do with it?

“Because when I spoke to Riley that one time for drinks, he told me you weren’t always this mean. So is it me? You just said to a whole crowd how helpful I am so I just don’t get why you’re so mean sometimes!”

“What else did Riley say?” Harry hangs on to that.

“I…a lot I dunno! Riley faffs a lot. He’s also a creep but that’s neither here nor there I-“

“What do you mean he’s a creep?” The room feels even smaller as he zeroes in.

“I-“ I try to stutter something to change the subject but he stays on, asking me again. “It’s nothing. He was drunk and he made a pass at me-“

“He did?! Why didn’t you tell me?” There’s zero space between the two of us now.

“Why would I? It was something that happened outside work hours, plus you warned me and I didn’t listen-“

“Y/n you should have told me,” he swears. “I let that little shite get away with way too much.”

“Yeah well he’s not the only person working here who’s made a drunken pass at me so let’s not make it a big deal okay?”

I guess I wasn’t holding back.

Harry closes his eyes and breathes through his nose. One mississippi two mississippi three-

“You’re right.”

My heart pounds in my chest. I want to get out of this room, find Gray, and stay in the light. Because this small, dimly lit space was becoming too intimate. And yet, I can’t seem to will myself to move.

“I am?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. It doesn’t cut it—what I did was incredibly wrong. Being drunk shouldn’t be an excuse and I promise I don’t go around doing that to everyone-“

“I know,” I say before thinking. It was weird of Harry to do but I never felt unsafe with him. I understood what he was trying to say.

“You can make it a big deal if you want. It shouldn’t have happened. It won’t happen again.”

I feel weird having the roles reversed—Harry apologizing to me. Promising not to do something again. I recognize what he’s doing is right but I don’t know what to do with myself. My breathing’s shallow with Harry so close to me, practically hovering over me. I should’ve worn higher heels to really equal the field.

“Thanks,” I finally manage. It’s low and raspy and I barely get in enough air to speak it. He doesn’t respond.

We stay in the tableau, our breathing irregular, in between a single decision that both of us knew wouldn’t end well. Yet neither of us are strong enough to end the frozen display.

“You clean up nice,” he says, eyes never leaving mine as he compliments my getup. I’d worn a simple cowl-necked slip dress and strappy shoes with my hair in an up-do. I was definitely underdressed after seeing the other guests but I believe Harry means it.

“Don’t look as haggard as I usually do, you mean?” I find my voice again. I barely have to whisper for him to hear.

“You never look haggard,” Harry says as he brings his hand up and traces the curve of my dress strap. My heartbeat was loud and surely showing through my dress.

“You should go,” Harry adds in a whisper.

My head feels like it’s filled with carbonation as I nod in agreement. This was bad. With a capital B. I had to go.

“I…should go.” I repeat. Slowly I inch sideways on the wall and Harry leans away. We stare at each other for another long moment before I scurry away, my heart in my throat and my guilt where my heart should be.

“Don’t forget the ice,” I hear Harry call out from the room. Miraculously this is exactly when Grayson turns the corner.

“Y/n? Where were you?”

“Oh I-“ I imagined I looked fucked up. Because I felt high and out of my mind. The white lie comes out, attached to a thread that unstitches something within. “I drank too much, so I was in the toilet.”

“Oh,” Gray looks relieved and I’m sinking with guilt. Technically I did nothing wrong. I didn’t even have feelings for Harry. But whatever physical magnetism he seemed to have nearly made me do something I’d seriously regret. “Did I hear someone say something about ice?”

“Yeah!” I laugh and it comes out like I had never learned how. “I just bumped into Harry, we ran out of ice. So much for not working huh?”

“At least everyone knows how hard you work,” he jokes.

I stick to Gray’s side for the rest of the night, not touching a single drop of alcohol. I had to forget everything in that room ever happened if I wanted to keep my job and my sanity. I had to be a better person, the devil was handsome and I had to stop playing into his tricks.

I call it quits a few hours later when I notice Gray low on energy.

“I’ll get our coats,” I tell him. The relief on his face is palpable.

I go through where the spare closet was but hear voices in Harry’s darkened room. The door’s open so I go to investigate. I regret it instantly.

Harry’s inside with a woman, I don’t see much of her as she’s on the bed but I know it’s Harry with the tone of his voice as they exchange words.

My stomach drops and it’s like an accident on the side of the road, I’m mortified but I can’t look away.

I watch him kiss her and I feel like I’m sinking through the floorboards.

“Oh!” The woman notices me when she turns her head and pulls the sheet up. She whispers, “you didn’t close the-“

“Oh it’s fine,” Harry laughs. He sits back on his legs and looks at me, his expression void of anything he was tonight. Like the moment in the room didn’t even happen. “It’s just y/n.”

Of course it didn’t matter to him, I scold myself. I was the one with fucked up issues that couldn’t make up my stupid mind about how I wanted to feel about this man who literally paid me to be around. Who treated me like shit most of the time. Who was nice to me sometimes and I misconstrued it to mean a whole lot more.

What was I thinking? Did I think suddenly this man who’s known to be a player had a single one-sided intense moment with me and that would change him?

I was an absolute idiot.

“Could you get the door?” Harry asks so casually, so nonchalantly, that it punches me in the chest. It was closer to some combination of humiliation and self-inflicted hurt but for now it feels like my chest aches.

“O-of course.” I shut the door and stand there, taking in deep breaths as I try not to think about everything that just happened. Tried not to think of all the million ways I was the worst girlfriend in the world. Tried not to think about the fact that I had to quit sooner than later because things were getting tangled up and it was not okay.

xxxxxxxxxx

TAGLIST: @boomitsallie1 @indierockgirrl @ndunad @jerseygirlinca @sunshinemoonsposts @ninasw0rld

I’m trying to make part 3 the last—it includes your final decisions and returning to the present to find out what happens (from the beginning of the story). Thank you, as always, for reading <3 xx

[w4tksg]

𝜗𝜚 Beginning of Us || s.jy

~ Sypnosis: It’s only when you leave that you begin to realize you need them

~ Genre: strangers to friends to lovers, college au, fluff, angst, smut

~ Warnings: Smut!! oral (f. receiving), missionary, doggy, fingering, bathtub sex, breast fondling, tummy bulge, unprotected sex, soft sex, rough sex, slight sub jake, trust issues, they are very toxic for each other mentions of infidelity, Jake being a dumbass bf 😒, alcohol consumption, aussie line (skz) cameo, oc is soooo delulu, she doesn’t know better 🤦🏻‍♀️, bestie sunoo n heeseung 🥹, heartbreak (on many different occasions) 😞, oc js wants to be loved 💔 major angst THEY ARE TOXIC FOR EACH OTHER

• currently playing: if it’s not you by PRYVT

~ wc: 21.7k

It is the start of exam season; the snow is starting to fall from the sky, and it’s become cloudy most days. The walk from your dorm to your class was so cold that you had double-layered for today’s weather. On your way to class, you get pushed back by someone. Before you could turn around to scold whoever it was, he bolted.

“Fucking bitch” you muttered under your breath. You only got a glimpse of his brunette hair and red jacket. He was tall and had a lean figure, he’s not someone you’ve seen around campus. Picking your things up you make your way over to class. Days like these make you regret not taking online courses.

After class, you texted your best friend Sunoo to meet you for lunch. The café you entered was warm; unlike outside, you ordered yourself a hot chocolate to warm your body up. After you pick up your order you bump into someone for the second time today, Looking up you see it's the same man who bumped into you earlier. The burning sensation of the hot chocolate hits your skin through your jacket. “Fuck,” you whisper under your breath “Watch where you’re going, asshole!” The man turns to your standing frame and frantically grabs napkins from the counter. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” His eyes go wide as he pushes the napkins into your hand “Please let me buy you another one, I’ll even buy you a new jacket”. The voice that comes from his lips takes you by surprise.

He has an Australian accent; It’s an accent you haven’t heard from around here before. The unfamiliar voice sends shivers down your spine. Raising your head from your jacket to the man standing in front of you, you find dark brown eyes looking into yours; ‘he’s so pretty’ you think. You have to pause for a moment to search your mind for something to say back to him.

“Please, buying me new clothes is unnecessary, but I would appreciate it if you bought me another drink. Just watch where you’re going next time,” you tell him

“Yeah, of course. What did you order? I’ll pay for it,” He begins to pull his wallet out to get ready to pay for his and your order.

“A hot chocolate” He walks over to the barista and orders.

After paying for the food he turns to you again and bows his head down, a look of shame spread across his handsome face. “Look I’m sorry again”

“It’s okay really. Stop with the apologies, buying my drink is enough”

“Order for Jake!” the barista calls out.

After getting your drink from the boy, Jake, speaks up again.

“Can I take you out to lunch? For one last apology?”

Before you can answer him your phone rings. The name read ‘Sunoo’.

“Maybe another time, Jake” You smile at him and answer your phone.

Catching sight of Sunoo as you walk into the restaurant, Sunoo looks up from his phone and waves you down.

“Hey! Why are you so late I thought we said 12:30,” he says in a sassy tone.

“Something happened at the café I was at. Some guy bumped into me, and I spilled my drink all over myself. He ended up paying for it, but he asked me to lunch. I kinda told him no because I was already on my way to see your ass and I already had plans.” You explained the whole ordeal that had gone down.

“Was he cute?” he asked

“He was” You smile down at your fidgeting hands.

“He had an accent too; I don’t think he’s from around here,” you think out loud.

Sunoo looks at you with a dumbfounded face “Yeah, no shit Sherlock, of course, he’s not from around here. Who else have you met with an Australian accent around here” he rolls his eyes playfully.

You laugh at him. He begins to talk about how his day had gone so far. “Oh my god, Heeseung is driving me insane.” He talks about his roommate. “He’s been blasting his speaker so loud with his goddamn guitar while I’m studying for my thousands of upcoming tests.” He speaks with a sarcastic tone. “Sometimes I wish I said no to being roommates with him” Sunoo and Heeseung were the first friends you made at the new high school you went to during your senior year.

Being friends with them for a handful of time was like having a party every day. They’d drag you out of your house to get you away from studying and keep your mind off school for a while.

“Why don’t you tell him to shut up? It works when I do it” you shrug at him.

He tilts his head up and sighs. “It only works because it’s you, he always listens to you but not me” he gives a side-eye.

“Then I can’t help you there buddy” You ruffle his hair. 

Thankfully, today your schedule was free. Your shift at the library didn’t start until one o’clock this afternoon so you were stuck studying for the rest of your tests you had coming up. It was only ten, and you called up Sunoo and Heeseung and asked if you could stay at their place until you had to go to work. Of course, they agreed and you made your way over.

The frost in the air hits your skin as you walk out of your apartment. The sky was gloomy, but the sun peeked through just a bit. Gloomy days always make you feel cozy. They made you want to stay inside and curl up in your blanket. But today you needed to be productive; you had shit to get done.

Walking up the stairs to their dorm you already had a spare key they gave you “in case of an emergency” as they said. You unlock the door and hear the obnoxious noise Sunoo was talking about, Heeseung’s electric guitar. When you walk in Sunoo is sitting on the floor working on top of the coffee table in front of the T.V. He was wearing a thick hoodie due to the cold air blowing through their room.

“Hey,” you shouted over the loudspeaker.

“Finally! Can you please tell him to turn off the speaker and shut the fuck up? I can’t fail this semester, or it’ll be the end of me.” Nodding your head at him you stomp your way to Heeseung’s room.

“HEESEUNG” you yell as loud as you can. He hears nothing. Too focused on his guitar you walk up to the plug of his speaker and unplug it.

“Hey!” before realizing that it’s you his expression changes.

“Oh, hi ___” he smiles at you.

Sunoo walks in behind you next to the door.

“Oh so, you listen to her and not me? You’re such a little shit.” He whips his head and walks back to the living room.

You snicker at him.

“We are trying to study. And you should be too, don’t you have exams coming up next week?” you ask.

“Yeah, but I wanted to practice playing a little before I started.”

You walk up to him and drag him by his arm to where Sunoo is waiting for you.

“Well practice is over, hurry and get your things. I’ll help you.” He sits down beside you and pouts as he takes his books from under the coffee table.

It’s been about two hours since you started your study session. It was almost time for you to leave for work.

“Okay, now that you know the formula for this make it into a simplified equation”

Heeseung looks at you with confusion written all over his face.

“Are you kidding me right now, Hee, we’ve been over this for the past hour how do you still not get it.” you deadpan.

“Because he doesn’t have a brain” Sunoo butts in.

You sigh heavily as you start to collect your things. Sunoo looks up at you and begs “No! Don’t leave me here with him. If you do, I’ll fail my exams because I’ve lost brain cells listening to him talk about nonsense.” You look down at where he’s sitting, and you laugh at him

“You’ll be fine, if anything come by the library and study there. I’ll be in until six. And you too.” you point a finger at Heeseung.

“We have books in there that will help with your exam,” you tell him.

“Alright, fine if you’re working tomorrow, we’ll swing by,” Heeseung says.

“Good. I’ll see you guys tomorrow then!”

You put your shoes on and your coat closing the door behind you. You make your way to the library.

“I hate you” Sunoo stares at Heeseung.

It’s getting closer to the time you’re supposed to clock in. Making it just a few minutes early you go through the door, and you’re hit with a gust of warm air. The library was packed with students. Now that it was getting closer to exam time, this was the busiest time in the library.

As you make your way behind the desk you meet with someone already sitting in your seat.  It’s the same head of brunette hair you bumped into a few days ago. Walking towards him, he catches you from the corner of his eye and smiles at you. 

“Hey” you smile at him

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to stay this long for overtime” he apologizes.

“It seems every time we meet you’re always apologizing for something.” you chuckle

“Yeah, sorry about that” you laugh at him this time.

“No, it’s okay. It’s cute” At that he smiles. His cheeks are rosy from the blush.

 “So, when did you start working here?” you ask him to make conversation.

“I started working here a few days ago actually” You get distracted by his accent. There was something about you and your accents. You had always found them attractive. And his face? God, he was so pretty; you couldn’t take your eyes off him. Shaking out of your daydreams you snap back to reality.

“Oh, so that’s why I haven’t seen you around here,” you say curiously

“Yeah, I just transferred here from Australia. I had better opportunities here.”

“Ah, I see. How do you like it so far over here?” you ask him. You had never met a foreigner before; he seemed like an interesting person to you and you wanted to know more about him.

“Did you move here with your family or are you on your own?” you look at him. He speaks to you while holding eye contact.

“No, I’m not alone actually. Her name is Layla. I brought her with me, so I wasn’t by myself.” Your heart sinks a little. You expected him to be single since he offered to take you out for lunch.

Curiously you ask, “How long have you been with her?”

“Ever since she was born,” he says

What? Is he? No.

“I’m sorry what?” caught off guard you ask him “What do you mean since birth”

He looks at you and laughs “She’s my dog. I’ve had her since she was a puppy”

Your eyes widen. How embarrassing, of course, he has a dog named Layla. You laugh loudly at your mistake

“Oh my god, I thought... ugh this is so embarrassing.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about” he shakes his head slightly and reassures you

“What about you? Do you have any pets?”

“No, I don’t” you chuckle

“I do have two best friends though, Sunoo and Heeseung”

“They’re guys?” he gives you a look that makes you feel slightly off, but you shake it off.

“Yep! I take care of them, make sure they’re doing well.” You say sarcastically. “They’re my best friends. They’re like my older brothers, they look out for me, you know?”

The conversation flows as you continue to talk to him. You don’t notice the time flying by when you look out the window near the front desk. Your eyes graze over to the clock and it’s already past the time you were supposed to clock out.

Hastily collecting your things and pushing the chairs in as you stand up and walk over to the lights. “Sorry, I spent so much time talking about myself I didn’t even notice the time passed by” you chuckle nervously.

“No, don’t apologize. I enjoyed spending my time with you. Plus, barely anyone walked through the door today. Helped pass the time”

When you smile up at him your cheeks flush with red. Eyes rising to look at him up close made you realize how handsome he was. You notice his prominent cheekbones when he smiles. And the glow in his eyes in the light of the lamp next to the desk.

Checking back into reality, you both make sure everything is shut off before leaving.

“I think we should head out now, it’s getting pretty late, and I have an early class tomorrow.”

“Yeah, me too,” he says softly. He bends down to pick up his bag from the floor. Jake throws it over his shoulders and turns the last light out on the desk.

As you make your way through the door you’re hit with the cool breeze of December air. You turn to Jake and look up into his eyes. The moonlight hits him just right. Highlighting his prominent cheekbones and his bright brown eyes. It’s quiet for a moment. You don’t realize how close you have gotten to him. Breaths inches apart. Your eyes glide down to his lips for a second before you catch his eyes again. 

“So, I’ll see you on Wednesday then?” a smile slowly appearing across his face.

“Yeah, I’ll see you”

You nod your head and head back to your dorm. He regrets not asking for your number that night.

Your morning was off to a horrendous start; you had woken up late and ended up being late to class for about thirty minutes. The lecture was an hour long, so you still had time to get some information out of it. You had been so tired the night before you had overslept and missed your alarm.

Rushing out of your door, you had forgotten to prepare your breakfast the night before. There was no time to stop now. When you walk through the door of the auditorium the door slams shut behind you and all eyes are on you. Embarrassingly walking over to your seat the professor calls for your name, “Please if you’re going to be late, try to do it quietly. I don’t need you distracting my students” Bowing your head slightly your ears turn red out of embarrassment. 

You silently walk past a few students with your head down. Jake discreetly looks at you from one of the seats closer to the top. He smiles at the way you cover your face as you look for a seat. Finally, you sit down and listen to what's left of the lesson.

Walking out of class, you hear heavy footsteps from behind you. Your name comes out of someone’s mouth and you look over your shoulder to find the culprit.

“Hey,” Jake puts his arm around your shoulder.

Looking up at him, he has a smile on his face as he looks down at you.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to hang out, you know, outside of work?”

Your face lights up at the suggestion. He takes notice of the bright glimmer in your eyes. Moving your head down you laugh lightly and tuck your hair behind your ear

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that” turning your head up to look at him. 

“Okay great, are you free this afternoon? For lunch?” he asks

You pause to think about the mental calendar you have set in your head. 

“Uhm, let me check”

Not recalling any texts or calls from Sunoo you smile up at him 

“Yes, I can do this afternoon,” you say to him.

He smiles to himself; he can hear his heart beating in his head. The adrenaline pumps through his veins as he thinks about things he can do to spend his time with you. 

“Okay, cool. I’ll see you around twelve?”

“Yeah”

“Meet me at the coffee shop near the science building,” he finally decides as he slowly moves his arm from your shoulder. You nod your head and make your way to your next class as you part ways. When you stop in your step you realize you don’t have his number. Before you could call out for his name he had already disappeared to class. You’ll just have to wait for him to show up.

It was nearing lunchtime; some students had already left campus. After walking out of class your feet guide you to the coffee shop Jake had told you to meet him at. Today’s weather was nicer than most days. It was sunny outside but still somewhat cold. Turning the corner of the building you see the coffee shop, but no sign of Jake.

When you stand outside many people walk past you. It was now 12:20. You turn around from where you’re standing and that’s when you see Jake running around the corner. Slowing down his pace you realize he is out of breath from running. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says catching his breath. You stare at him as you wait for him to explain.

“Professor had me stay in to help him sort out some documents and I didn’t pay attention to the time, and I didn’t have your number to text you”

Deciding to let him off the hook you chuckle lightly and place a hand over his shoulder to reassure him.

“It’s okay, I was planning on asking for your number when you asked me out today, but you were gone before I could even ask you,” you tell him softly.

“Sorry about that too, I was going to ask you that day at the library, but I chickened out,” he admits

“Well give me your phone, so we have some sort of communication when we're not together” You hold your hand out for him. He pulls his phone out and hands it to you.

When you hand it back to him, he reads your name with a butterfly emoji. Smiling down at his phone he hears your phone ding with an unknown number. You save it as Jake’s number.

“There, now if we need something we can call or text each other!” you say with enthusiasm

He shakes his head at you and guides you into the café. You walk in and find a seat to sit at, Jake ends up pulling your chair out at the table near the window. Thanking him you place your jacket on the back of your seat and he takes his seat, and you spark up the conversation.

“How are your classes so far? Have the professors given you a hard time?” you ask him. He waits to respond, thinking about his answer.

“They’ve been a bit stressful; I just think it’s because I’ve transferred so late into the year. And the professors? They’re just like every other professor, assign way too many assignments and look like they don’t want to be there.”

You laugh at that.

“What about you? Are you from around this area?” He asks you the question this time.

“I’m originally from Cali, I applied for college over here because I’ve always wanted to explore Korea,” you tell him.

“One of my friends had told me about his trip here and it sounded like he had so much fun,”

“Ah, well both of my parents are from here.” He explains. “I wanted to get to know more of where I come from. They moved us over to Australia when I was about five years old” Thinking about his hometown, he begins to miss his mom’s homemade food and his old hometown friends.

“I’ve wanted to travel to a bunch of places. I just never found the time.”

He begins to go on about the exciting places he wishes to adventure. You spend most of your afternoon with him. You’re starting to enjoy spending your time with him and you end up asking him to hang out again the next day.

As you walk out of the café the cold air hits you once again.

“I have to get going for my next class. But if you’re free, do you maybe, wanna hang out again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that.” he smiles at you

“Okay great! I’ll see you around the same time as today, then?”

“Yes, and I’ll make sure to make it on time” Laughing at him you nod your head.

“Bye, Jake”

You walk away and make your way over to class.

Exams were getting closer, but on the brighter side winter break was just around the corner. You and Jake had been hanging out a lot more since that day he asked you out to lunch. Your shift at the library started and you had Sunoo and Heeseung stick around to study one last time. Heeseung agreed–against his will, to tag along but he’d much rather practice his guitar skills than be at the stupid library studying for exams.

Jake told you he wouldn’t be in today because he had to sort some things out in one of his professors’ classes. You agreed to take on double the time in his place.

Sunoo and Heeseung sat at the table near the front desk where you were sitting. You were talking about classes when Sunoo suddenly brought up Jake’s name.

“What’s going on between you two?” he asked

“Nothing, we're just friends,” you say nonchalantly 

“Ah I see, and paying for everything and asking you out every single day is being ‘just friends’, sure”

“Sunoo, you’re being delusional. He’s just being a nice person”

“Whatever you say” he raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders.

“I mean he’s cute, but I don’t think we’d become a thing; I met him not even a month ago,” you say as you add the last things to your notes.

It’s been hours since any of you spoke; focusing hard on your studies. The door opens as a gust of cold air is pushed your way. You look up to see who it is. Jake stood there, wearing his puffer; and his messy brunette hair sticking out in places due to the wind.

He walks over to your seat and greets you. He puts a hand on your back and sits down in the chair next to you. Sunoo and Heeseung watch the whole interaction.

“Hey,” he smiles. Taking you by surprise, he brought you dinner. “What’s this?” he places the brown bag down next to you on the desk, placing his arm around the back of your chair.  You look up at Sunoo as he’s eyeing you, waiting for you to introduce them. Giving you a look that says, ‘Just friends?’. You shake your head and focus your attention on them.

“Jake this is Sunoo and Heeseung. The best friends I told you about.” you move your hand gesturing to them.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys. I’m Jake.” he holds his hand out for them to shake.

“I know who you are.” Sunoo smiles at him and puts his hand under his chin.

Jake slowly pulls his hand back and laughs under his breath

“I’ve heard quite a lot about you actually” he looks over at you and grins. You roll your eyes at your best friend.

“I’m Heeseung. It’s nice to meet you too” he says politely smiling at him; unlike Sunoo 

Bringing your attention down to your phone next to you you realize the time. It’s starting to get late, and you want to be in your bed and snuggle into your blanket considering the cold weather. Gathering your stuff, you excuse yourself.

“Wow, look at the time. It’s getting late. You guys should get going too, don’t you have early classes Hee?” you ask

Heeseung nods his head at you and picks up his books. Then, he stuffs them in his backpack.

“And thank you for the dinner, Jake. It was sweet of you.” When you smile at him you notice a subtle blush growing on his cheeks. He rubs the back of his head and smiles back at you.

“It was no big deal. But why don’t I walk you home? I don’t want you out this late at night alone.”

Agreeing to his proposal you pick your things up and bid farewell to your friends.

Just as you’re about to turn around you see a shit-eating grin on Sunoo’s face, you turn to flip him off and make your way out of the door. Jake holds it open for you and a few other people behind you leaving the library. With the final person out, you make your way over to your dorm.

The walk is silent for a while. Jake takes in a deep breath, takes the wheel, and guides the flow of a conversation “Your friends seem nice. I like Heeseung. I mean we barely said a sentence to each other, but he seems nice.” he says. And then he brings up the blabbermouth.

“And Sunoo? Was it? He said he’s heard a lot about me?” he says with a smirk on his lips.

“Do you talk about me?” He brings it up again. You start to feel the embarrassment creep up from your chest to your face. You can feel your ears start to warm up as they go unnoticeably red. Your hands go up to cover them, Jake stares at you for a moment as you walk.

“Hmm?” you pretend to think

“I don’t think I talk about you THAT often” you laugh it off

“But you do happen to come up in a sum of conversations”

“Sure” he leaves it at that. Nearing the building of your dorm, Jake stops as you get closer to the entrance.

“Well this is my stop” You tilt your head to look at his features smiling at him

“And, thank you for walking me home; and for the dinner” You lift the bag.

“I told you it’s no big deal. I enjoyed my time walking with you. To be completely honest I enjoyed every time I’ve spent with you.” he pauses to think about what to say to you next.

“I’m less alone than I thought I’d be since I met you”

This makes you blush; hard. The feeling in your stomach is making feel things. Like butterflies erupted in your tummy. You felt a sense of pride after hearing him say that about you. Your heart, rapidly thumping in your chest.

“I’m glad I was the person you bumped into that day or else I would’ve been stuck with Sunoo and Heeseung” You roll your eyes playfully.

“Oh c’mon, they can’t be that bad”

“Please, try being with them 24/7 for four years. It’s like I’m babysitting two toddlers”

He laughs at that. He starts to feel the same way you do after he sees your smile. It's not your normal smile. It’s that big bright smile you show when you’re belly laughing. He finds it so adorable he could just kiss you. And he might just do that. Because you see him lean in after you’ve calmed down from your high of laughter. Looking up at him you finally realize what he’s doing.

And you do nothing to stop it, you’re already leaning into him too. When you close your eyes, you feel his soft lips against yours. The kiss is soft and gentle. He feels your smile against him, teeth clashing, and it causes him to do the same as well. Jake’s hand is placed in your hair and the other is placed on your neck. The butterflies have made their way to your chest.

This feeling ignites something new in you. A feeling you haven’t felt in a while. Finally, pulling apart, he leans his forehead against yours and stays there for a minute before he says something.

He chuckles under his breath and says “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” You giggle into his chest and place a small peck on his lips. When opens his eyes he feels you pull back from him. “Thank you again for tonight. Text me when you get home, safely” you tell him as you walk backward to the door.

“Goodnight Jake”

He stands there still in shock about what had just occurred. Not believing he had just had his first kiss with you. After registering what you had said, he nods his head and turns around.

“Goodnight,” he says under his breath.

Today is full of exams, right after today is the start of your freedom. You called Sunoo and Heeseung over to help them study for one last and final time. When you hear Sunoo’s knock on the door you walk over to your door and open it for them.

“Did you guys fuck?” is the first thing he says to you. Unbelievable.  You shake your head at him and push him into your room.

“Jeez Sunoo, let the girl breathe. You were just ambushing her with questions about him yesterday. When is it enough?!” he exclaimed.

Sunoo and you pause for a minute and look at each other. Then, you both burst into laughter at your friend’s outburst. Heeseung gives you both an annoyed look as they both walk into the living room. Sunoo waits patiently for you to spill your guts on what happened between you and the boy. As per his request, you explain and finally spew what had happened.

“We kissed”

“I knew something happened between you two!” He starts jumping around the room, his hands balled into a fist out of excitement

“Okay calm down, you’re acting like they’re getting married,” Heeseung says.

You go to sit next to Heeseung pull your laptop out of its bag and begin studying. Sunoo finally calmed down, he walked into the kitchen to get snacks for the time being

It’s been over an hour since the boys came over. Your phone suddenly rings and when you turn it over to see who was calling; Jake’s name appears on the screen. 

“Hey, are you doing anything right now?”

You look back at your friends, they seem to be occupied with their work. You stand up from your seat and walk to the kitchen. Making sure Sunoo wouldn’t eavesdrop on your conversation

“No, I’m not doing anything, why?” you ask curiously

“Great, do you wanna hang out?”

A smile starts to spread across your face when you feel that same feeling you felt the other night erupt in your stomach.

“Yeah, just give me a few minutes and text me when you’re here”

By the time you're finished getting ready, Sunoo looks up at you with a confused look.

“And where are you going?”

“Out”

“Out where?” he raises one of his eyebrows

“With Jake?”

You stay quiet, and you start to feel a smile creep on your face.

When your phone dings with a notification, your heartbeat picks up. The text read ‘I’m here’.

“Bye, guys!” 

“Wait-” Before you could let him continue his sentence you close the door and walk down the stairs to Jake.

When you walk out the door you can see Jake standing next to the bench near the door, on his phone, patiently waiting for you to emerge from your dorm. Your last exam started around late afternoon; you had the time to spend with Jake. Neither of you had discussed what happened between the two of you the night before.

When you open the door Jake can feel his heartbeat speed up at the thought of you. Turning, he’s face to face with you now before he can stop himself, he has his arms wrapped around your waist. He barely pulls away and your faces are so close your lips are touching. You lean in, peck his lips in a quick action, and smile.

“Hi,” you say quietly

You look so adorable. Your cheeks have gotten red due to the cold outside. He smiles at you pulls away and grabs your hand walking beside you.

“So where are we going?” you ask curiously looking up at him

Without answering he smiles and takes the lead.

“It’s a surprise,” he says with a smirk on his face

“What do you mean surprise?” you ask. An unsure smile appears on your lips

“Trust me, hmm?” Taking a deep breath and taking a leap of faith in trusting him. Walking over to his car he opens the door for you. Thanking him he closes the door and walks over to the driver's seat.

It’s been about an hour since Jake picked you up from your dorm, and you end up in the middle of a gorgeous cherry magnolia tree. The white petals slowly fall from the branch. There’s a bridge leading up to a forest of them you gasp out loud bringing your hands up to your mouth and letting go of his. Walking across the bridge you take in the sight of the white flowers growing on the branches. This has to be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever come across. Turning back to Jake, you ask him “How do you know about this place? It’s so pretty, I didn’t even know this was here”

He looks around at the trees and makes you wait for a response

“I don’t know, had a couple of friends help me pick out a place you’d like. Plus I did do a little bit of digging. And by digging I mean I asked Sunoo what your favorite flower was”

At the mention of his friends, you think back and rack your brain, trying to remember if Jake ever mentioned any of his friends. Now realizing you’ve never met any of them. Remembering Sunoo mentioning this place, he wanted to visit sometime over winter break. You smile at the thought of Jake going to your friend for advice.

Caught up in your thoughts you don’t notice when Jake walks up behind you. A shiver runs up your spine when you feel his warm hands run along your waist, softly digging his face into the crook of your neck. Taking in the scent of strawberries, and looking around at the trees; you can’t get enough of how pretty the trees are during this time.

They must be even prettier during the springtime, you think. Fallen magnolia flowers pile near a bench, you walk over and take a seat pulling Jake by his hand to follow you. He pulled out his phone opened the camera app and snuck a few snaps of you. You looked so beautiful to him that he couldn’t resist, he set a reminder in his head to add it to your contact. Watching you made him feel so many things; things he’s never felt before for someone.

When you look back at him you pause for a moment, the look on his face makes you blush. Unconsciously he slowly leans into you faces close so close you can feel his cold breath against his, foreheads touching, finally lips touching. The taste of your sweet lips on his makes him burst with warmth.

The feeling of his soft lip against yours makes your tummy do summersaults, and your body feels immune to the cold as the warmth radiating from his body makes you feel like you are sitting next to a fire. Slowly, pulling away his big brown eyes look into yours. Crinkled at the corners as you smile at him. Breathing in you begin to question what your situation is now

Do you put a label on it? Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend? Does he think this is just you ‘fooling around’? All those questions disappear when you speak up

“So what does this mean for us?” you ask

“Will you be mine?”

Finally, after waiting for so long. Nodding your head in response a big smile forms on your precious lips and you throw your arms around him. Feeling nothing but joy and happiness at this moment you get to share with your boyfriend

With finals out of the way and winter break starting Jake was over at your place for hours on end. Intimacy has been out of the picture for quite some time now. You wanted to see where this would go first. He took you out on dates around the city and he would even drive you out of town to show you some places he had seen while mindlessly scrolling on Tiktok and wanted to take you there.

Sitting on the couch with your boyfriend you both agreed to stay in today and put on traditional Christmas movies. Your head lay on his chest while his hands settled on your lower back. His hoodie was covering his long brunette hair, and his glasses over his features. In the small silence of the room with the movie quietly playing in the back, Jake starts to move his hands lower. Your hands end up moving up to his neck as you look up at him and scoot closer, you're face to face with him. Faces inches apart you slowly move your way closer to him. Your lips land on his and you move into a slow kiss. His soft lips melt into yours.

Moving his tongue between your lips for access; you grant him what he needs. The room is filled with the smacking of your lips. Sitting up Jake pulls you over his hips and he places his hands on your ass and squeezes.  You let out a small whine when his cold hands make their way under the thin sweater you wore and make contact with your warm skin.

As he moves his hands upwards, the sweater starts to ride up your stomach making its way over your head the sweater is left on the floor now. Letting out a small gasp as your perked nipples come in contact with the cold air. Jake leans down and places his lips over your chest, the sensation makes you wet. You grind your hips over his hard-on; his loud groan filling the room.

Moaning into your chest, he kisses his way up over your neck. He stays there for a while, sucking and licking. You can feel your panties getting wetter from his actions he flips you over throws his glasses off onto the table, and lifts his hoodie off over his head. The sight of his abs makes you rub your thighs together to relieve the ache between them. Jake hooks his fingers on the waistband of your pants and pulls them down. Not before he asks, “You sure you want this?”

“Please, Jake. I need you so bad”

This turns him into a madman. He tears your pants off along with your soiled panties. He makes fast movements, bringing his fingers down to your heat and glides them through your folds.

“All this for me baby? Did I do this to you? So fucking needy you have your panties drenched for me? Huh, darling?”

“Only for you” you moan as his thumb comes in contact with your clit. Whimpering lowly, Jake makes his way down kissing your stomach, he stops at your pelvis. He looks up at you with his lower lip hanging low, jawline so fine he can through the tension between the two of you. He takes in the sight of your fucked out expression and moves his head under the blanket you shared.

He kisses your thighs and hooks his arms around them his lips hovered over yours, gripping his hair, needy for him. Finally, he digs his face into your sopping cunt, his tongue finds your clit and slowly he draws slow circles, teasing you.

“Jake, please”

“Be patient, baby. I swear I’ll make you feel so good”

Trusting his word, you let him do his thing. His tongue glides through your pussy making you quiver. Pulling your hips closer to his face, making sure you don’t move. Eating you out like it’s his last meal he rapidly flicks his tongue over your clit, your thighs shaking beside him from the pleasure. The sloppy sound of your pussy is the only sound in the room, the sound of the TV blocked out by the pleasure. Moving your hand up to your soft tit, you roll your nipple between your fingers moaning his name, not giving a care if you are too loud or not.

“Ugh, Jake you make me feel so good”

Gripping his hair hard you start to feel the burning sensation in your lower stomach. Chasing after your orgasm you start to blank, forgetting your own name his digits find your entrance. Dwelling in the feeling of your wet cunt against his lips he slowly enters you. Whines spew from your throat as you arch your back, looking down at him. Taking in the sight of his tongue repeatedly lap your cunt.  You bite your lip so hard you think you're bleeding. Letting out a loud gasp you pull him up by his hair and bring him back to you; kissing his lips, you can taste yourself on his tongue.

“I need your cock, so bad” you say softly

Pulling away from you he pulls his sweats down along with his boxers. Impatient, he pulls his throbbing cock out teasing it against your entrance. Swollen, dripping, red tip, needy for your cunt.

“Do you have a condom?”

“I’m on the pill, it’s okay.”

Leaning in and giving you a sweet peck against your lips he sinks in slowly. His pace is slow at first, letting you adjust to him. You can feel every inch of him sinking in, getting deeper with his slow motions. His hands are on either side of your head holding himself steady. Finally, he bottoms out. Slowly but surely picking up his pace, you can feel every vein rub against your aching walls. Slamming his hips into yours, your back arches into him, head tilted back as you moan his name out, forgetting everything in your mind as you solely focus your attention on the pleasure. As he's moving in and out, he kisses you roughly. Teeth clashing against each other; the rough sounds of his hips pushing into yours make you feel that same sensation you had felt minutes ago.

Jake lays his face in the crook of your neck and kisses your collarbone. “Who’s making you feel so good, huh? Say my name, baby c’mon” he whispers into your ear. The feeling of you wrapped around him makes him pick up his pace at an animalistic speed. Never wanting to stop, he brings his thumb down and rubs against your clit, and for the second time tonight, you reach your high. You go lightheaded, seeing stars once again, and you whine as you reach your climax.

Three final thrusts, he pulls out and finishes on your stomach. Looking down you swipe your finger against his come and bring it up to your mouth. Sucking on your finger he pulls it away and kisses you.

You wake up the next day and lay in your bed. You had a t-shirt thrown over you with a fresh set of panties. You turn to your side to find your boyfriend peacefully sleeping. Moving your arm over his shoulder he places a hand on your wrist and kisses it. Sleepy eyes looking at you; he rolls you over and places his face on your neck.

“Good morning,” he says with a sleepy voice

“Hi, baby,” you say back to him.

Looking at the clock it read 10:00 am. You both had  nowhere to be so you decide to stay in bed for a little while longer.

“How’d you sleep last night? I hope my bed was comfortable enough” you say

“It was plenty” he smiles with his eyes closed

Humming you go to walk over to the bathroom but you feel a tug on your arm. You land on his chest and he wraps his arm around you.

“Stay in bed for just a little while longer, love”

Now, finally out of bed. You and Jake made breakfast together but he soon had to go. He made plans with a friend he made while at the library. “My friend’s planning on throwing a Christmas party to celebrate the end of exams and the beginning of winter break,” his mouth still full of pancake. “You wanna come with me? You can even bring Heeseung and Sunoo along, too” Only thinking about it, Heeseung isn’t big on partying. Maybe you should ask Sunoo if he wants to go, you’re sure he doesn't have any plans. Swallowing what's left of your breakfast you perk up in your chair and give him your final decision. 

“Yeah, I’ll text Sunoo and ask if he wants to go” he picks up his and your plate and walks it over to the sink to wash them. “Okay, great! The party starts at 8, I’ll pick you up around 7:30” he explains as he puts away the now-washed plate next to the drying rack by the sink. Walking over to pick up his jacket hanging from the back of his chair he leans down and pecks you on your forehead. You rise from your seat and walk him out to the front door. When he’s done putting on his shoes you place a hand on his shoulder and rise on your tiptoes to place a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. But he moves in for a proper kiss. “I’ll see you later” Waving your hand goodbye, you watch him disappear around the corner.

With your dorm void of your boyfriend, you decide to call up Sunoo to come over. Heeseung was out of town visiting his family for the holidays so it was just him in the dorm. The phone rings three times before he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Sunoo, are you doing anything right now?” you play with your hair as you talk to him

“Nothing. Why?”

“You wanna hang out today at my place? I’m bored. It takes him a few seconds until he responds.

“Okay I’ll be over in a few”

Sitting in silence with a movie playing in the background you suddenly say “We fucked”

Sunoo is left speechless, which confuses you because ever since you have mentioned Jake all he can talk about is if you’ve gotten dicked down yet. His mouth is hung open as he tries to process what you just said. After a few minutes of silence from him, he finally yells into the air and jumps around the room like a bunny rabbit. “Oh my God! All of a sudden?! Tell me everything!” you begin to explain the whole story to him. From your date to the magnolia trees to him asking you to be his girlfriend. Talking about makes you feel all giddy all over again. Sunoo, being your best friend and all, was so unbelievably happy for you.

You would need to tell Heeseung when he got back, but knowing Sunoo he would probably tell him right when he returned to their dorm. Thinking back on everything that’s happened to you in the past months has you feeling blessed. Jake has made you feel things you haven’t felt in a long time. But, sometimes you’d like to think everything is going so well. But what do they always say? There’s always a calm before the storm, is it?

“Hey, honey” your mother called you over the phone

“Hi what’s up?” placing your phone on your vanity as you touched up your makeup

Today was the party that Jake had told you about a few days ago. From what you heard from Jake, the party wasn’t supposed to be big. Just close friends of his and maybe a few other guests. You asked Sunoo if he wanted to come but long story short he had already made plans the day of but he also didn’t feel like third wheeling. He would be at his parent’s house anyway for the holidays.

“Are you coming over for Christmas? We miss you over here” From the tone of her voice you can imagine a pout forming on her lips

“Yes, Mom I already told Dad that I’d drive down to the airport and take the first flight out” You had missed your parents dearly, when you told them you wanted to go to school down in Seoul they supported you 100%. The flight from Korea to your hometown was a long way away. You were a bit disappointed that Jake wouldn’t be joining you, but understandingly he had told you that he already made plans to fly out to see his parents in Australia. 

Guessing you would just have to wait you’d till you were both back to exchange gifts. 

“Okay, Niyah misses you too she won’t stop asking for her Cuddle” ‘Cuddle’ was a name your niece gave you because she wasn’t able to say your name. Cuddle just stuck and she’s been calling you that ever since. “Tell her I’ll be back soon and that I miss her too” Smiling at the thought of your baby niece. 

“I need to go Mom. I’ll call you when I board the plane, I love you” 

“Okay be safe, I love you too” 

Your phone beeps indicating of the voice call ending. Music starts to vibrate through your room again after your abrupt phone call from your mother as you stand from your desk and walk over to your closet. Before you can look through your closet for something to wear for the party a knock is heard from the front door. Jake stands on the other side of the door with his hands behind his back waiting for you patiently to let him. 

A small “Hi, baby” comes from your mouth as you softly lean yourself against him. He places a hand behind your head and leans down, pecking your lips. “Hi, my love”

Stepping to the side you walk back to your room as he follows you. He walks over to your bed and lays down. Placing his hands behind his head as if he were relaxing in paradise. 

“Jake” you call out for his attention. Standing in front of your closet once again you pull out two dresses. A red satin dress and a simple black one

“Hm?” he says with raised eyebrows.

“Which one looks better? The black one or the red one? I can’t decide” you ask him. He looks back and forth between you and the dresses. Turning to the mirror you put both of the dresses up to your body. The ruffling of sheets can be heard behind you. You can see Jake push himself off the bed and walk towards you

Jake sneaks his hands on your waist and looks at you in the mirror. “You look good in anything, baby. But maybe the black one. I think it suits you better than the red one.” he tells you. You turn in his arms raising your arms to wrap around his neck. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and he squeezes around your waist. Tilting your head back you look at him his smiling face looks down at you, his eyes searching over your soft features. 

He leans in to kiss your forehead, then down your nose, and then your lips. “Okay” Detaching your body from his, you walk to your closet to put the red dress away and put on the black one Jake had chosen.

 Jake is waiting outside in your living room as you finish up the last of your makeup and making sure you look presentable; this is your first time meeting his friends. When you walk out of your room, he looks up to the sound of your door closing and watches you in awe. You look stunning, stopping his heart for a second with the way you look tonight. A radiating smile glows on his face as he can’t seem to take his eyes off you.

He walks closer to you and stands there admiring your form. Completely breathtaking. Inching closer to you he can’t hold himself back from touching you. Slowly wrapping your arms around his waist as his hands come up to cup your cheeks.

“What?” you laugh

He softly pulls you in for a soft kiss. It’s slow and comforting, never failing to make your heart stop at every little touch. He pulls away and breathes in your scent. “You look so beautiful, darling.” Maybe you shouldn’t have added blush while you were doing your makeup. Your face was completely flush by the warmth of your dorm and the warmth he brings you every time he compliments you.

“Let’s get going now” he holds your hand and leads you to the front door. But not before you pick up your bag and you coat.

When you pull up to the party, there are a lot more people than you were told. It was more like a house party. Walking through the door, loud music was bumping through the air,  sweaty bodies were being pushed up against one another.

Jake’s holding onto your hand making sure he doesn’t lose you in the crowd of people. “Let’s go to the kitchen, you want something to drink?” he yells over the music. Barely making out what he had said you nod your head at him and let him take the lead.

You don’t see many familiar faces around. Maybe some of the students you see at your lectures but that’s it. When you walk into the kitchen, Jake makes out a few familiar faces and walks over to them. He greets the many friends that he made over the past few weeks. “Hey, man,” his friend said leaning in for a hug. His eyes make their way over to you and scans you up and down. He points at you and says “Who’s this” with a smile on his face.

“Ah, guys. This is my girlfriend” he tells them your name and introduces you. “This is Chan, Jay, and Felix” He points to the one who couldn’t take his eyes away from you, Jay, and you nod your head at them as a greeting.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” you say

Jay speaks up and looks at you as if he knows you. “We have the same afternoon class, right? You always sit in that same seat up in the front,” he says with a smirk. “Yeah, I think we do. But I don’t think I have ever seen you” He makes a face as if you’ve shot him the heart “Oof, well to be fair I do keep to myself a lot” 

“I’m always sat in the back. We should sit together, it’s nice to know I’ll have someone in that class that I know” Jake watches the whole interaction. He clenches his jaw as he sees the way Jay keeps looking at you up and down. You haven’t noticed it as you continue to laugh at what he says.

“Yeah, we should. I don’t know a lot of people in that class so it’s nice to know that I know at least one person”

You feel Jake’s hand pull you closer to him by your waist. You look up at him to see his irritated expression. You place a hand on his cheek and turn his head to you. “What’s the matter, baby?” His jaw is locked as he has an iron grip on you “Let’s go to the living room”

He guides you to one of the couches with heavy music blaring in your ears. He takes his seat and places you on his lap. Wrapping your arm around his neck he digs his face into the crook of your neck. You can feel his lips skin over your skin, and you feel goosebumps all over. “Are you okay” you whisper into his ear for only him to hear.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Looking into your eyes they scan over your face and land on your soft lips. He turns his head to deepen the kiss and he slips his tongue through your lips. Breathing in your flowery scent his hands glide down to your ass, pushing lightly on his chest so he could let you go. You realize you’re in public with other people around. Looking at your surroundings your eyes randomly fall in line with Jay. His eyes were already on you, Jake follows your line of sight and catches Jay looking at the both of you. He pushes you off him softly and excuses himself. “I need a drink,” he says in an almost growl. Chasing after him you place a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Wait, are you mad at me?” you say in a small voice. He only shakes his head and cups your cheeks. “No, I’m not mad at you baby. I’m just a little tired. You know I’ve been a bit stressed, having to pack and plan out all my stuff to visit my family tomorrow.” You know when he’s lying, but not wanting to fight any further, you listen to him. “Why don’t we go home then huh? We can go back to my place?”

Nodding his head at your suggestion he places his hand on your lower back to guide you to the exit. Before you can make it past the door, Jay stops you and wraps his arm around Jake’s shoulder. “Leaving already,” he says “The party just started” Jake shoves his arm off and rolls his shoulder. “Look, man, I’m not in the mood right now, so why don’t you just fuck off and leave us alone” Irritation can be heard in his tone, his brows furrowed, jaw clenched. This is the angriest he’s been around you.

Thinking back to his tone, you begin to realize how rude he was. When you walk out the door you walk a few steps behind your boyfriend as you try to keep up with him you run up to him and clasp your hand with his, but he immediately pulls back. What the fuck was with him? Did you do something to upset him? You couldn’t have, he told you nothing was wrong He looks down at you with an angry look on his face. “I’m not in the mood right now. Can we just go to your apartment?”

Nodding your head lowly you begin to walk in silence

When you walk through the door to your dorm Jake walks in behind you. It’s silent on his end, not a word coming from his mouth. He places his coat on your desk chair and sits on your bed on his phone. The vibe is off in the room that you can feel the tension seep in between the two of you. You don’t like it; you despise sitting in silence not knowing how to bring up what happened at the party. Taking a seat in front of him where your desk chair is you look at him until he looks up from his phone and at you.

Your arms are folded over each other on the back of the chair as you lay your chin over them. “Baby,” you say in a small pout. He hums in response his attention focused on his phone. This action only infuriates you. You tug on his arm and he looks up at you with an irritated expression his eyebrows furrowed.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you why are you so mad?”

“I’m not mad, what are you talking about”

You stand and you can feel your blood start to boil. The atmosphere of the room makes you feel unsettled.

“What am I talking about? What the fuck are you talking about Jake? I’m not the one that has a problem here”

“Neither do I!” he shouts back at you. Now he’s starting to irritate you.

“You do, what the hell is bothering you so much that you’re yelling at me?!” The room starts to feel hot, and the feeling in your stomach makes you want to hurl. You don’t like fighting with Jake. You hate this feeling rising in your chest. You have never fought with Jake before. It would only be about small things like who left the sink on or who didn’t close the refrigerator door. 

“At the party,” finally you get an answer out of him. “Are you s out of this world to see that Jay was eyeing you all night and he was clearly flirting with you” What? What is he talking about? Yes, you saw him glance over to you for a second but you completely ignored him. It’s the first time fighting with him and it’s over something completely stupid. Was he jealous?

“No, I did not see him looking at me because I was solely focused on you the whole night. I’ve had my attention on you because why would I even bat an eye at him when I’m with you?! That doesn’t make any sense to me Jake” It takes you a while to figure out what was going on. Jake couldn’t let go of the fact that Jay was looking at you the whole night.

“Are you seriously jealous right now? I was trying to get along with your friends. Nothing even went on but a small conversation between two people and you’re seriously jealous,” The tone in your voice is raised and you can feel your blood boil up your skin. Jake turns and picks his jacket off your chair walking away from the conversation. You can practically see steam coming out from his ears.

“Look, I can’t do this right now. I need to get my stuff together before tomorrow.” he says

“Oh! So you’re walking out is what you’re doing. You’re not even willing to talk this out?” 

“Yes, I am. I cannot argue with you, my head is pounding and I just can’t deal with this. I need to leave” he says sternly

“Merry Christmas” he walks out the door leaving nothing behind. You can hear your heart shatter in your ears. The door slamming behind you, Jake walks out the door along with your heart.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” you say softly under your breath

When you see your family again you feel everything disappear from the night before for a moment. You haven’t spoke to Jake since he walked out on you last night. Not a single phone call or text from him. The feeling of no contact from him sets an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

The day after Christmas your sister, Mia, walks into your old room and takes a seat at the foot of your bed.

“What’s wrong?” you look up at her. Her face has a look of sorrow. You hadn’t been that obvious, had you? That fight shouldn’t have affected you as much as it did. You’ve only been going out for a little less than a month. So why do you feel so distraught?

“Nothing, why?” you respond to her.

“Well, you’ve been a little quiet since you came home a few days ago and you’ve been kind of down. Did something happen?”

It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts. Thinking back to the argument you and Jake had, you about the things that he said and you realize how stupid this whole argument is. Another thing you realize is that your family does not know that you have a boyfriend.

“Um, I haven’t told anyone yet because I know if I did Mom would freak the fuck out and make a whole scene about it and I’m trying to get away from drama at the moment.”

Mia furrows her brows in confusion and thinks about the things you’ve talked about since you got back.

“What did you not tell us?”

You’re laid on your side on your bed facing away from your sister you reply softly in a small voice “I have a boyfriend”. You say it in an almost whisper she almost doesn’t catch it the first time. “You have a what!”

Sitting up from your bed frantically you put a hand over her mouth and shush her. “Be quiet! I told you mom doesn’t know yet and I don’t wanna tell her until later”

A smile creeps up on her lips and she starts to scream. She quickly lowers her tone when she realizes just how loud she’s being. “Oh my God, what’s his name? How did you guys meet? How long have you been together? OH! Did you guys do it yet?”

Her constant questions get you to burst out laughing. You miss when you were able to tell her everything that goes on in your life. But that changed when you went off to college and she started working and started a family.

“Oh god, Mia, calm down please. I’ll tell you everything later. But right now I’m kinda in a rough situation.” You continue to explain the whole argument to your sister and she sits and listens to you.

“Is he a fucking idiot? Does he not trust you enough to know that you only have eyes for him? Look, if he doesn’t come up to you and try to resolve the issue between you two is he worth pining for? Is he worth your tears and your energy?” Before you can respond to her she cuts you off before you can get your first word out

“No, I didn’t think so. Think about it babe you’ve only been dating this guy for how long and he’s already messed up because of something stupid,” 

“I know, but what I feel for him is real. It’s so real to me that it scares me how much I care about him” You can feel tears well up behind your eyes. Thinking this deeply about your feelings toward Jake makes you realize how much of a constant he has become in your life. You don’t remember living life before you met him. And that scares you.

“I want this to work out for us. I’ve never felt this way for someone before. He makes me feel so happy,” This comes out in a small voice. You have never been this genuinely happy with someone before

A beat of silence passes as Mia tries to accumulate her words. She sighs and places a hand on your shoulder. “Babe, I just want what’s best for you, you know that. If you think waiting for him is the right thing to do, then wait. If he ever hurts you and makes you unhappy I swear to God call me and I’m bringing my ass down there to kick his” Laughing with tears in your eyes you pull her in for a tight hug.

“I will, I love you”

“I love you too, sis”

The drive back from the airport to your dorm was awful. Cars piling on the road from coming home from holiday ended in unbearable traffic. You had caught a cold from your niece and the weather didn’t help with your symptoms either. Sunoo offered to pick you up, but you declined his offer because Jake had said that he would be picking you up from the airport. Now you are starting to regret your decisions. You hadn’t heard from him in a while. Before the argument he had told you he was coming back the day before you. So, you had some hopes of meeting him when you first arrived home. But to your dismay, you were met with an empty drop-off area and baggage claim. You had to lug around your suitcases until you finally found an Uber driver.

When you reach your dorm, you’re met with a bouquet of magnolias lying next to your door. Dropping your bags on the floor you pick up the flowers in search of a note. It looks like it’s been here for a while. Some of the pedals are a bit wilted but still pretty, nonetheless. A small white piece of paper is found in the middle of the beautiful flowers. Putting your hand in to fetch it out you unravel it and read what was displayed.

My baby, I’m sorry for what happened before we parted. I was being immature, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry for ruining your Christmas and not checking up on you. Just know that I was thinking about you during the time we couldn’t spend together I just felt so guilty for the way I acted I felt I didn’t deserve to talk to you yet. I’m ready to talk whenever you want to

Please call or text me when you get these. I’m sorry.

-       Jake

The words written on the piece of paper pull on your heartstrings. You truly did miss him. He went through the trouble of buying you flowers and writing a note? Opening the front door to your dorm you pull your things in along with the flowers inside. Your heart nearly jumps from your chest when you hear rustling come from your desk. The body perks up and turns to face you. Jake had been sitting there since the day he came back from his hometown, waiting for you to come back home to him. He stands there taking in your presence. He had missed you, so much. Slowly walking over to you, not sure whether he’s allowed to touch you.

The tension between you seems to have dissipated from the time you’ve been apart. It’s quiet. Waiting for him to speak up. Waiting for him to apologize for what he’s done. Waiting for him. Dreading the days to see him again and reconcile your damaged feelings.  Finally, after what felt like hours but in reality were only a few seconds. Jake finally pulls you in bear hugging you tightly as if he hasn’t seen you in years. He buries his face into the crook of your neck and inhales your scent. Oh, how he’s missed you. His arms tighten around your waist when you slowly bring your hands up to his shoulders.

“I missed you, love” he whispers into your cold skin. You sniffle due to your cold but also due to the tears you feel once again. The touch of his breath against your skin makes chills run up and down your body. You had been pining for him for days now. Finally, in the arms of your lover, you begin to feel a bit at ease. But you still felt uneasy not talking about the issue that has occurred between the two of you.

“I’ve missed you too,” you say in barely a whisper. He pulls away and he stays close to you. His hands are on your elbows, and he looks down at you. His brows slightly fall when he hears your nazely voice. He places his warm hand over your burning skin. “Did you catch a cold?” he says in a worried voice. Moving your hands, wrapping them around his wrist you calm down his worries. “Yes, but I’m fine. Nothing but hot soup will cure me” you say with a small smile on your face. 

After, getting changed into more comfortable and clean clothes Jake wraps you in your blanket on your bed and sits by your side as he nurses you back to health. 

“Did you see my note?” His head down in shame as he waits for your answer. You only nod your head in response. He’s playing with the sleeve of your sweater and looks back up at you again. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry I acted the way I did. I was being stupid, and I had alcohol in my system and I was thinking straight.’ It’s silent before you say anything. Thinking about what to say to his apology you look up at him and try to read his expression.

You could see the sorrow in his eyes; those cute puppy dog eyes that you’re so used to seeing everyday. He had a look of defeat on his features. You’ve never seen this side of him, this vulnerable side of him. Speaking up you say, “Jake that doesn’t give you the right to assume things about me. Do you not trust me?” he interrupts you in the middle of your speech. “I do trust you, my love. I just don’t trust him.”

“Baby, the only person you should be trusting is me, okay? I’m your girlfriend. I’m the one you should be trusting, not him. For us to work there needs to be trust between the both of us. If you can’t do that then there is no us.”

This makes his heartbeat pick up. Of course, he trusts you. But the way that Jay had kept his eyes on you the whole night just made him so angry that he started to blame you for reasons that he didn’t quite understand. He wants so badly for this to work out between you two. You’re impossibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he moved here.

Frantically, his grip on your sleeve becomes a bit tighter. Like he’s scared if he doesn’t hold on tight enough you’ll dissipate into thin air “I do trust you, baby, believe me I do. Okay. Can we please just forget this whole thing? Will you accept my apology? I miss you.” he moves his hands up from your wrist gently grazing your neck until they land on your cheeks. The look in his eye is now desperate. He needs you in his life, just like you he can’t recall living his life before he met you. He can’t screw up now. Finally, nodding your head he smiles that big smile that he always sports and pulls you in for a kiss.

Finally, things are back to the way they were for now.

Classes have started up again but thankfully your professors have taken it easy on you. The downside of this new schedule is that you haven’t gotten to spend as much time with Jake as you had before. With his schedule being completely different from yours you always manage to find time for him. He told you he was going to start being a better boyfriend for you ever since that fight. Often you would come home to takeout on your front door handle with a little note that he would write for you.

It was nice coming home to little things from him. The only times you got to spend time together was when he would come over when the both of you had a clear schedule. That time spent with him was your favorite.

Sitting at your desk, you hear keys jingle at your door. You gave Jake a spare key to your room whenever he felt like coming over, to save you the trouble of having to get up from your desk and answering the door yourself. At this point, he was living with you. He spent most of his time at your dorm while you were at classes and barely any time was spent at his. He had made your home his home. You would sometimes come home to him snuggled in your blanket asleep. Of course, Layla was cuddle next to him

You can hear his footsteps from behind you as you work on your laptop. Feeling his hands wrap around your shoulders and his face leaning into the side of yours, you can feel your heart rate pick up. Everything has gone so well between the two of you. It almost seems unreal.

He pecks you on your cheek and snuggles himself into your side.

“What are you doing, love”, turning your head to face him, you smile deeply at him and peck his lips. Moving your attention back to your laptop you reply back to him “Working on this midterm paper. Classes have been so hectic I barely have time to take a break.” Upon hearing this Jake reaches his hand over to the screen of your laptop and shuts it closed, you turn to him with a look of confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you a break” A small grin placed on his face, and he brings his face closer to yours. He places his soft lips against yours and moves in slowly. His hand is under your jaw caressing softly. He pulls away and looks into your wide eyes. “I’m gonna draw you a bath relax a bit baby you’ve been working hard for the past few weeks I haven’t seen you step away from your work once. How does that sound?” he tells you softly. “ You’re right, hmm. That sounds amazing thank you, baby”

He turns and makes his way to your bathroom. You hear the faucet of the bathtub begin to run. Jake’s phone was left next to where you were sitting and it’s only then that you hear it buzzing with a notification and your heart sinks for a moment. The name read ‘Amelia’ honestly, the only friends you have on campus are your best friends and Jake. You have never heard of this name before. Even in your lecture halls you have never once heard of this person. The name doesn’t ring a bell. But in order to also make a relationship work you need privacy, so that’s what you do. You ignore the constant buzzing of his phone and walk over to the bathroom where Jake is waiting for you

The sound of the water sloshing and the steaming bathroom make you feel warm inside. Jake’s sitting at the edge of the tub waiting for you to finish up in the other room. Your hand falls to the hem of your shirt and you slowly glide the fabric up your torso. Next, your sweats fall along with your panties. Jake sits as he watches you undress yourself. He can feel himself grow hard and his pants become unbearably tight. He suddenly stands up and takes long strides walking over to you. His hands land on your naked waist and you look up at him and bring your hands to the clasp of your bra. Finally undoing it Jake’s eyes fall to your soft breast. Nipples perking as your chest is hit with the slightly cold air in the room. You can see the drool fall from his lips.

“Why don’t you join me?” you raise a brow at him; teasing him. Immediately he tears his shirt and pants off as he guides you to the tub. Lifting his leg to get in first, he takes your hand softly and guides you on top of his lap. You can feel his hard cock against your thigh. His arms wrap around your middle, and you can feel his lift place soft kisses on your shoulder. His right arm manages to take hold of your tit and the other slowly glides down to where you need him the most.

His hand grazes your thigh and you shiver at the touch. The kiss on your neck makes you sigh out in lust. You have never needed him so badly; completely forgetting everything that’s happened in the last twenty minutes. Finally, his finger makes contact with your clit rubbing figure eights. Whimpering his name in a low breath makes him even more wired.

“Yeah, baby? You like that? Huh?” He says into your ear. Licking up to your jawline his plants kisses just beneath your ear and back down to your neck. The wet muscle circles as he sucks and bites with his teeth. Placing a love bite on your skin leaving a mark. His finger enters you slowly; you let out a low moan out of pleasure. His speed begins to pick up as he adds in another. Pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. His right arm moves across your chest, so your tits are pushed up against it.

 “Oh my god, Jake. You make me feel so fucking good” You moan into his ear. With that, he turns you so you’re facing him now. “Fuck I can’t. I need to be inside of you” His hand wraps around his cock. The tip is red and throbbing you can see his veins. Stroking it once, twice, he teases at your entrance. The sloshing of the water is the only sound heard in the bathroom from your squirming. Sliding his cock between your folds; you look down at where you connect and moan his name. “Please, I need you in me. Need you to cum in me, Jake, please” you beg for him.

At this, manhandling you so your turned to him. Chest against his and he finally enters you. The stretch of his cock has you whining from how good he feels. The feeling of him inside of you has you starstruck. You’ll never get used to the way it makes you feel. His hand finds the bottom of your ass and he moves you up slowly. Your hands wrap around his shoulders as you dig your face into his neck. “Move. Please” you plead into his burning skin

“If you say so,” he says in a teasing voice. He bounces you on his cock and he meets you halfway. You bite onto his shoulder to muffle your sounds. You get enough noise complaints from the students in the building, you don’t need another one. The pace is fast, and animalistic, you can feel him prod deeply into you. He can feel himself in your stomach. He brings your hand to where he can feel himself inside of you.

“You feel that baby? So fucking deep in you I can feel myself” Moaning louder you can feel the burn build up in your tummy. Your thighs begin to burn and your hold on his shoulders become tighter. You feel yourself cum all over his cock. And with three last thrusts, he paints your walls in white as he finishes inside of you.

Sitting in silence, catching your breaths and coming down from your highs his hold on your waist tightens as he lifts you from the tub and grabs a towel to clean you off. His cock softens inside of you; you moan at the loss of being connected to him. Jake walks you to the bed and lays you down. He places a small kiss on your neck and tells you, “I’ll be right back” You smile at him and watch him walk away. But you see him grab his phone and look at it.

The unfamiliar name drags you back to that feeling from earlier.

Heeseung was back from his trip, and he invited you over to catch up on recent events of each others lives. Being apart from your best friends made you realize how much you’ve missed them. You sat on the couch as he was getting something ready in the kitchen. “Hey, how was the trip?” you ask him. He walks back with a tray in his hand and places it in front of you. It was an assortment of snacks he had brought back from his hometown.

“It was good, Lina’s doing good. I haven’t seen her in so long I missed her so much.” Lina, Heeseung’s girlfriend of almost a year, they met through you. She had asked about your friend and wanted to know if he was single. You put them on a date and, bam, they’re in a long serious relationship! Simple as that. It’s good to hear that she’s doing good. You hadn’t seen her in so long.

“Ahh, I miss her too. I haven’t talked to her since the last time I saw her. That was probably before summer break this year.”

Heeseung changes the subject to you now. “So, what’s up with you? How’s your family? I know you haven’t seen them in a while either.”

“They’re great. I got to see baby Aria again. She’s grown so much and she's walking now” You smile thinking about your niece.

Your phone suddenly buzzes with a notification from Sunoo.

Sunoo: Hey, wya rn?

Me: At ur place why? Did something happen?

Sunoo: Meet me at the café in 5 min

The serious texts makes your heart beat pick up. What happened? Did something happen to him?  You look up to Heeseung and his focus is on the TV now. “Hee, I gotta go. Sunoo said he needs me for something” you tell him.

“Oh okay, what happened” He watches as you rise from your seat and collect you things to leave. 

“I don’t know he won’t tell me. I’ll talk to you later” bending down to peck his cheek you place your bag over your shoulder and leave through the door. Hoping nothing bad has happened to your friend

After almost crashing a dozen times you make your way to the entrance of the café. Sunoo is sitting at one of the tables in the back waiting for you. He has a drink next to him and your usual next to the seat that’s supposed to be yours.

“Hey,” you greet him. He looks up at you with a look you can’t explain.

“So are you gonna explain to me what’s going on or what, your text earlier scared the shit out of me and I’m still a little on edge so can you please hurry and explain what the hell is going on” you say with a faux small on your face

“Hey, I’m sorry if I freaked you out but I need to tell you something.” He pulls his phone out from his back pocket and shows you a picture. You can feel your heart stop to your stomach. The color completely drains from your face as your shaky hands reach out to take ahold of his phone.

Displayed on the screen is a picture of Jake, with his hand on a girl’s waist, and they seem close to each other. You scroll, and there’s yet another picture of them. He’s smiling at her, and his face is close to hers nearly lips touching. The tears that swell in your eyes threaten to spill out. You can barely make out words to say. Completely in shock of what you see. It’s your boyfriend and a girl that isn’t you in his arms. You want to scream at the world for being so blind to this. You want so badly to hit something. You need to get out of here

There’s no way. He said that he was going to be better, and he said that he wanted to make this work. How could he betray you like this?

You stand from your seat abruptly making the chair squeak against the floor. Eyes fall on you as you quickly grab your things.

“Sunoo, I need to go,” you say in a small voice. He nods in understanding, and you rush towards your car. You look down at your phone and see his name pop up on your screen. ‘Hey baby wya? I miss you.’ the text reads. This only makes you angrier. You need to calm down before you crash and get into an accident.

The next thing you know your at his apartment complex. You walk up the stairs and storm into his living space. Jake jolts in surprise and looks at you. Fiery in your eyes you make your way to him and push at his shoulders, hard. “How could you? You said you were going to be better. You said that you wanted this to work” You pushed him again. “Why would you do this to me?” your lungs begin to burn from the constant yelling. Pushing him after each word your tears falling from your eyes. The pounding of your heart is heard in your ears. You’re screaming at the top of his lungs waiting for him to explain.

“Baby, what are you talking about?” He takes hold of your wrist trying to calm you down. Again, pushing him away you retaliate and keep your distance from him. His act only pushes you to the edge “I saw the pictures, Jake. I’m not fucking stupid” He can feel his heart drop when he finally realizes what you’re talking about. “I can explain”

“No, what is there to explain? I could see how close you were to her and the way you held her. You’re supposed to hold me like that. Not anyone else!” you yell at him. Hurt and anger are laced in your voice. “I need to get out of here,” you say in a quiet tone. Digging your hands in your hair, frustrated with yourself, with Jake. He tries to reach out to you, but you only push him away.

“Don’t touch me,” Pushing him back harder he stumbles back. You make your way to the door and walk back to your car. It’s silent. Unleashing the pent-up emotions inside of you; you sob into your hands. Your head begins to ache because of how much you cry. Your head hits against the wheel as you begin to shake from anger. You’ve never hurt this much. All your love was wasted into something, someone that wasn’t willing to give you that same love back.

The feeling of your phone buzzing in your pocket grabs your attention. Lifting your head you pat your pockets searching for the device you turn the screen over to read the name of the incoming voice call. “__?” 

“Sunoo” you sob his name out 

“Can I come over?”

It’s been a few weeks since you last spoke to Jake. Your phone has been blowing up with texts and calls from him. Telling you how sorry he is; that he  needs to talk to you and that he messed up. You can’t bear the thought of talking to him face to face. Thinking about him hearts you as much as he already has. Sunoo and Heeseung drop in every other day, taking turns to make sure you were okay and you were eating properly. It hasn’t gotten easier, but you still managed to get out of bed and get to class.

As usual, you almost end up falling asleep in class from the sleepless nights. It’s not until you feel a tap on your shoulder that you perk up. Turning around you met face-to-face with a familiar face. Jay? Was that his name? You can’t be bothr to remember the face of the one person that started the argument between you and your ex-boyfriend. His chin is lying on his arms resting on the back of your chair. “Hey,” he says in a whisper, trying to keep his voice low. Rolling your eyes you look away and try to focus your attention back on the lesson. Without realizing the time class was over. 

Heavy footsteps could be heard from behind you. Jay appears on your side and he places a hand on your shoulder. “What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and your boyfriend” Looking at his face makes you feel disgusted. Only reminding you of one of the worse times in your relationship. 

“Hey, hey, hey” placing his hands in front of you to stop you in your tracks. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jake, throwing daggers at him. Jay looks down at you and pulls you in. His lips barely touch you before you shove him away. “What the fuck, Jay?!” Before Jay could look back to see Jake, he had already fled. “What? It’s not bad to switch it up sometimes. Plus I heard that you’re not with Jake anymore. You know, moving on is a natural thing to do after you break up with someone” he says with a smug look on his face. “Fuck off asshole” 

Shoving his shoulder as you walk past him. Tears start to stream down your eyes as you pick up your steps through the halls to make it to the library. You had a shift today after school. When you walk through the door you half expect Jake to be there. Seeing his usual seat empty your hopes are crushed. You forget why you’re even in the situation that you are in with him for a moment. Everything begins to come rushing back. The girl texting him things a girl shouldn’t be texting a guy in a relationship. You can’t even begin to see him the same way you used to see him. 

Pushing everything to the back of your head you sit down and wait for people to come up to the desk and help them out. Hours after your shift started Jake walks through the doors, with a neutral look on his face. Not with that usual happy look on his face radiating joy. You haven’t communicated in any way for weeks. He walks over to his usual spot. He only looks at you for a split second before he looks over to the manager, fixing the used books on a cart. 

“Hey, um, Jungha, can I talk to you for a second?” With a shake of his head, he motions his head to follow him to the door behind the desk. Following him with your eyes, you begin to wonder when your shift ends. Being stuck here with him for the next two hours is going to be hell. You called in sick for about two weeks. Jungha was nice enough about it and let you off and give yourself some time to heal. About 15 minutes later, Jake walks out of the room but he doesn’t stop at his usual chair next to you, no, he walks to the door and leaves. What? Did he take the day off or something? You shouldn’t care about what he’s doing with his life, but you do. How can you not? You were in love with him. You still are. Holding back your tears you turn your attention back to your work. Your phone vibrates next to you, Sunoo texts you asking if you want to come over. You look over at the clock and realize just how much time has passed. Your shift was ending in a few minutes. Texting Sunoo back, you collect your things and shut down a bit earlier today. You walk out the door and call Sunoo to tell him you’re on your way.

Jake hadn’t come into work for the last couple of days. You had secretly been waiting for him to walk through the door but his cute puppy dog-like eyes haven’t made their appearance yet. Lazing around at your desk with your head held in your head and making little doodles on the piece of paper in front of you. Jungha catches sight of your dull expression and he places a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“I need to tell you something.” This gets you to perk up. Did something happen to him? “Uh, I know that you guys were together and he told me not to say anything to you but you were going to eventually figure out eventually why he isn’t here anymore.” he pauses. 

“The reason why he wanted to talk the other day was because,” he takes the seat next to you and looks down at his hands. “He said that he wanted to quit. He couldn’t sit here for hours knowing that you guys wouldn’t talk. And just to let you know these are his words not mine. He also said he couldn’t stand the fact that he wouldn’t enjoy being here knowing that you were angry with him.” All this new information brings new emotions. Did he quit because of you? If anything it should have been you who should have quit. 

“Oh” is all you say. What else are you supposed to say? You don’t want to seem pathetic for crying over your ex-boyfriend in front of your manager, that would be too embarrassing for your own good. You shake your head and get back to drawing your little doodles. Trying to distract yourself the best you could. You couldn't handle the thought of not seeing Jake anymore at work. Not seeing him at all.

At the end of your shift, you make your way to Sunoo and Heeseung’s place. You can’t bear the thought of being alone for the night; you need the comfort of your best friends. You open the door with one of the spare keys they had given you when they first bought the place. To Heeseung’s surprise, you make your way over to him on the couch and plop yourself down face-first on the other couch. “Hey,” he says with his furrowed brows. Placing a gentle hand to the back of your head.

“You okay?” Sitting up properly you shake your head. After hearing all the noise from the living room Sunoo emerges from his room and finds you sitting on his couch. “I don’t remember inviting you over” He says in a joking manner. You look over to the voice of your best friend. “Stop acting like you don’t love having me over” He rolls his eyes and walks to the kitchen to grab a snack. 

“How do you feel today? You look even more down than you do most days. Did something happen?” He speaks from behind the fridge. You wait for him to turn the corner so you don’t have to yell. You don’t want them to get a noise complaint because of the shouting. “Jake quit at the library because of me,” you say blankly. Some silence passes and Sunoo shoots from his seat on the couch. “Is he out of his goddamn mind? Why did he quit? It should have been you who should have quit not the other way around. What the hell? He wants to die because I swear to God the last thing he’ll see is my fist in his face” 

Looking at him with your jaw slack after the long rant you just witnessed. “What the hell are you looking at? I’m being so real right now. What makes him think he needs the time away from you after what he did to you,” The room goes silent. The only sound reverberating through the room is the TV playing the back. Heeseung sits watching the scene, completely in awe of the way that Sunoo is acting. And then out of the silence, Heeseung bursts out laughing. Then you’re in tears of laughter. Sunoo looks at the two of you like you’re the ones that are crazy. “Look I’m just stating facts if he wants to be a little pussy then he can be one but I won’t have my best friend looking dumb because of some guy that she met not that long ago.” This catches you off guard. Sure Sunoo never genuinely liked Jake.

But he tried his best for you. Because he wanted what was best for you. But this was drawing the line. “What are you talking about Sunoo? Do you have any idea how happy I was when I was with him?” you begin to argue. The laughter has far died down. “Yes, I understand that but look at the condition he left you in,” he exclaims. “For fucks sake you had to take two weeks off of work because of that asshole. You weren’t eating properly, fuck you weren’t even taking proper care of youself” You’re left speechless. You want to believe that there is still something there. Even after everything that’s happened, you still have hope. “Maybe I should just talk to him about it because he never even gave me an explanation because I walked away” Raising from your seat you walk towards the door.

“I just want what’s best for you” Sunoo speaks from behind you. “I need you to completely understand what you’re getting yourself into. I don’t want you to walk into a toxic factory and get yourself stuck in something you can’t get yourself out of” This tugs at your heart. You know that Sunoo talks from his heart, he’s only looking out for you. 

“I love you so much Sunoo, but I know if I don’t do this and get the closure I need I’ll eventually lose my mind” The only thing he can do now is shake his head. “Okay, if anything happens call me” His steps are slow and he takes you in his arms for a tight hug. You shake your head and agree to call him. You wave at Heeseung and make your way out of their dorm. 

Your next destination is your ex-boyfriend. 

Jake was lying on his bed scrolling through new job listings. He needs to somehow find a way to provide for himself. A soft knock is heard from the front door. It was nearing almost midnight, he furrows his brows and pushes himself off his bed. Who could be knocking at his door at this hour? There, you stand with a confident look on your face, hair wet from the pouring rain. “__?” You can see his tired eyes his phone clutched in his hand. “What the hell are you doing here” the anger in his voice brews confusion in your head. 

“I need talk to you” you say in a stern voice 

“There’s nothing to talk about. I need you to leave” He slowly begins to close the door in your face but you refuse. Moving your hand forward you place in front of the door. Your legs have a mind of it’s own as you push past him into his apartment.

“What are you doing? There’s nothing to talk about” 

“There’s everything to talk about Jake,” you exclaim. How can he say this? Your phone has non-stop buzzing with notifications from him for the past few weeks and now that you are here there’s absolutely nothing you can talk about? Now you’re confused. 

“I came here to talk to you about that fucking girl in your phone. Who the fuck is that, Jake?” He runs his hands through his messy hair and begins pacing around the small living room. You can start to feel that sharp feeling in your chest. You start to stress over the fact that he hasn’t begun to explain himself at all. 

“Fucking answer me Jake, who is that” Tears begin to form in your eyes again. 

“You’ve been begging me to call and text you back. Now that I’m here, standing in front of you, ready to talk, you’re silent now. Now answer me who is that girl?” The built up tears are now streaming down your face. You begin to feel frustrated with him. With yourself for not being able to communicate how you felt all those weeks ago 

This gets him to start talking. His eyes widen at the thought of never being in contact with you. He cannot begin to think about life without you. 

“Okay! Okay, she’s this girl that I met over break while I was away in Australia. We were broken up–” 

“We were not broken up Jake, we were in the middle of an argument and we were heated. We never broke up or even said the words ‘break up’. Just because we were in an argument means that we’ve broken up? That’s not how relationships work. Not with me” 

He stands there, only staring at you, trying to process the words that slipped from your lips. Angry tears slide down your cheeks.

“Okay,” he says in a low voice. This somehow fuels the anger you already feel. The single word only infuriating you further

“That’s all you have to say? ‘Okay’?” Your voice begins to raise. “You are so pathetic” you say in a low voice. Turning in your spot you make your way over to the door to leave. Before you could reach the handle his hand grips your wrist and pulls you towards him. His soft hand lays on your cheek, his lips land on yours. Then, you feel something wet on your cheek. He’s… crying? Your lips move softly against his. All of these strong emotions make you sob against him. 

He pulls away and rubs his thumb over your cheekbone. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m tired of fighting with you. I swear I didn’t do anything with her. We just talked and that’s it. I would never hurt you in any way.” 

You fail to believe a word he says. “You wouldn’t have hurt me if you’d have understood our situation during that argument. You wouldn’t have hurt me if you just kept to yourself and hadn’t talked to her,” you say against his lips softly. You pause before you begin again. 

“You wouldn’t have hurt me if you would have just trusted me, Jake.” 

He leans in a kisses you again. He makes his way down to your neck and sobs. “I’m sorry, honey. Please, please, please forgive me. I’ll never hurt you I promise. I can’t live without you. I need you” His words are intoxicating. Something about him always seems to pull you in. And you can never escape him. His hands find their way under your shirt and land on your waist. He pushes you against the wall and he lifts your shirt from your body. 

Then your bra is off. The cold air that hits your perked nipples makes you whine. You wrap your hands around his neck. Your fingers find home in his messy hair and you tug as he sucks on your bottom lip. He lifts you off the ground and carries you to his bedroom. Slowly, he lays you down on his soft bed. From the hem of his shirt, he lifts it over his head. His abs are out on display. He finally leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth. Gasping from the pleasure. His hands fall to the waistband of your jeans. 

He pulls them down along with your panties. His fingers find purchase on your clit. Moving in small circles. You moan into his mouth and this turns him on even more. “Let me make you feel good. You deserve the most out of everyone. Let me show how sorry I am, baby” 

Kissing down your stomach he places small kisses over your pelvis. His lips hover over your clit. His breath hits your cunt. Whimpers fill the quiet room. The first touch of his tongue sliding through your folds. “Agh, Jake” He wraps his arms around your thigh pulling you closer to him. Your right hand digs into his hair, tugging. 

The vibrations of his moan send shivers throughout your body. Your other hand tugs at your nipples. Pushing yourself up from the bed and looking down at him. The sloppy sounds reverberate in the small room. You can feel your juices slipping down from your pussy. His thumb presses harsh circles over your clit. “Yes, yes, yes!!” 

His sweats begin to feel uncomfortably tight. Moving against the bed to relieve himself. Palming himself through his pants. He moves to plant wet kisses against your thighs, making his way up. Face to face with him now, he rubs his nose softly against yours. Smiling against your cheek, he moves his finger to your red and swollen cunt sliding through your folds. His finger finds your entrance, slowly sliding in. 

You gasp against his mouth. Pulling him in to taste yourself on his tongue. “Yeah? You like that? Am I making you feel good, love?” 

“Mmmh, yeah, you always make me feel good” wrapping your arm around him and playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. He leans down to capture your lips, teeth clashing together, his tongue tasting you. His pace begins to pick up. You start to feel that burning sensation in your lower belly again. He knows when you’re about to finish. “Gonna cum on my fingers? Go on, show me how good I make you feel” he says in a low voice. The rapid rolling of his thumb on your clit tips you over the edge. 

Jake pulls his fingers to his lips, wrapping them around his digits. “You taste so good. Just as sweet as I remember” Looking up at him, you desire something more from him. “Fuck me” This gets him wild. Standing to quickly pull his pants along with his boxer off. His hard cock hits his lower abdomen. You drool at the sight. Reaching out to take him into your grip. “Wanna suck my cock? Hmm?” 

Looking up at him with a sultry look in your eyes “I want you to fuck me, Jake” you say in a soft voice. Smiling down at you he pushes you on your back, his bog body hovering over you. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to,” Taking his hard-on in his hand, giving himself a few strokes before rubbing himself against your spent cunt. “Fuck, oh my God” your eyes roll to the back of your head when he slowly lowers himself to you. Connecting your lips. 

Entering you, taking his time with you. Sliding his hand into yours, grasping yours pushing it to the side of your head. His pace starts slow, and passionate, he’s sticking to his word about taking his time with you. “Faster” you whisper in his ear. His soft lips grazed your cheek, his breath hitting your ear. He places his hands on your waist and turns you onto your stomach. 

Wrapping his arms around your front to hold you up. Quickly stroking himself, then entering you again. “C’mon baby, come for me. I know you can” The pleasure becoming too much with his pace. He’s fucking you hard, sloppy, messy, just like you asked. It all becomes overwhelming and you finally come all over his cock. Heavy breathing and panting fill the room once again. 

After some seconds of catching your breath, you lie on your back, and Jake finds comfort on your chest. Staring at the ceiling everything starts to come back to you. The fight that lead you to this point. You realize that you didn’t do what you came here to do. Softly stroking his hair you speak up in the silence that you're left in. “Jake” you call out for his name. He moves his head to look up at you, humming in response. “What’s going on between us?” You’re left unanswered for a while. To be honest, you aren’t sure what you’re doing here, lying in his bed. Inhaling deeply he rises from your body and walks over to his bathroom. 

He comes back with a wet towel in his hand and walks back to your lying figure on his bed. Gently parting your legs he wipes down your swollen cunt, being careful. You twitch slightly from the sensitivity. “I want us to be okay” he finally says. “I don’t like fighting with you. It breaks my heart knowing that I put you through hell and I’m not there to help fix it” throwing the towel into the basket next to his desk. 

“If you want this to work,” you look at him. He stares at you waiting to hear the key to win your heart over again. “I want you to trust me. And you need to prove to me that I can trust you” you say sitting up and pulling his shirt over your head to cover yourself. Nodding immediately he pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, tightly. “Okay, I promise. I promise I’ll never put you through that again. I promise I’ll do everything I can to prove to you that I care for you, so much.” Only looking at him as he speaks. 

“Baby” Jake has been spending most of his time at your place. Barely spending any time in his own home. You don’t see it as a burden, but you do feel like he’s only doing it to make up for his past actions. “Let me take you out,” He says as he lays on your chest, pulling your hands to run through his soft hair. “Okay, what do you want to do” looking down softly at his face. His hands hug tightly around your waist as he digs his face into your soft stomach.

“There’s a carnival downtown. We can go there, if you want” He waits patiently for your answer looking up at your face, glowing in the sunlight peeking through the blinds. “Yeah, we can go there” you agree. Jake excitedly pushes off the bed and walks over to the drawer where he has kept some of his clothes. 

After the both of you finish getting ready you walk out of your dorm and walk down the steps. Hand in hand you begin your journey into town. Everything in your town is within walking distance, something you loved about it when you moved here. It was midday and shops were busy, everyone hustling to get everything they needed for the upcoming holiday. Being even more busy with the carnival in town. 

A flower shop catches your eye, letting go of Jake’s hand you’re drawn to the pretty flowers of spring. When you walk into the shop you are instantly hit with the smell of flowers. Racks are filled with lively green plants, some tilting over their pots from being overgrown. This is one thing you will forever cherish in life. The life of growing plants. How they always manage to come back to life even after not being properly taken care of. The strength they have to keep going

While you were away admiring the beauty of the flowers you’re surrounded by, Jake walks up behind you. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he pulls from behind his back a small bouquet of magnolias. He must have bought them while you were distracted. Turning in his arms you wrap yours around his neck pulling him in closer to you. “Thank you, they’re beautiful” He places a small peck on the juncture of your neck. “Of course, baby. They’re beautiful, aren’t they? They always remind me of you” 

Your lips form a small pout. Standing on your tip toes to place a delicate kiss on his lips. Sometimes his compliments only causes your heart to stop beating for a moment. Walking out of the flower shop you notice the sun beginning to set behind the busy town. “The carnival should be starting soon, we should get there now before it starts to get crowded.” He tightens his grip on your hand, making sure you don’t get lost in the crowd of people and guides you to the noisiest part of town. 

The lights of the lively carnival glow brightly in your eyes. Hand clutching Jake’s in excitement, he looks down and smiles brightly back at you as you walk ahead of him. Impatiently running towards the game booths you pull him by your side, a way of telling him to hurry his slow pace. “Hello! Come on up and win a prize. Two balloons will get you this teddy bear,” The booth worker pulls out a small teddy plush from behind the counter, “Or~ Pop six balloons to win this plush!” he says with much enthusiasm. The man points to a bunny plush hung above the other small prizes. Jake steps before you and pulls out a ticket he had stored in his wallet. “How much?” Digging through the pockets he takes a few out to hand to the man. You watch as they exchange items, Jake holds ten darts in his hand and watches his aim. Throwing one of them, the loud pop of the balloon makes you jump slightly. 

He goes on to throw another and another, until he gets down to his last dart. He misses, but he still manages to pop five balloons. “Congratulations! You’ve won yourself one of our small prizes, if you’d like to give it another go please come forward” Jake reaches his hand out for the small teddy bear and politely declines the man’s offer. He turns around to you, pushing the small plush into your arms. Looking down at the plush and up to him, he watches as a small smile grows on your lips. He wishes he could capture this moment and paste it into his head for the rest of eternity. Your illuminated features make him go crazy, making him experience feelings he’s never felt before. 

Before he could say anything to you, you pushed off your heels to kiss his soft lips lovingly. “Thank you, baby” Grabbing his hand again you proceed to look around at the carnival. Lights are strung along different booths, the sound of children laughing can be heard all around, and the warmth in your chest begins to bloom. Feeling that warmth radiate off of you, dispersing among the many young souls surrounding you. Tugging Jake closer to you, once again pulling him with you, you point at the ferris wheel gesturing to the ride.

He agrees and lets you drag him towards the spinning wheel. The operator opens the door for you when the wheel comes to a stop. Jake steps in first and grabs your head to help you in. The ride begins to move again, the cold wind blowing through your flowing hair brings chills up your arms. Goosebumps appear up and down your arms. “Are you cold? Here,” he moves forward to take his jacket off and places it around your shoulders. The fabric engulfs you from how big it is compared to when it was wrapped around Jake’s body. “Thank you” tugging it closer to you. 

The wheel stops at the very top; the view is breathtaking. But something else catches Jake’s attention, the way you look out over the town. The lights of the buildings of the town make it seem more alive. Something about that makes you feel content with where you are now in life. Moving forward for once instead of back. Turning your head to look at Jake again you find him already staring at you; admiring you. Your face falls into the palms of your hands as your cheeks turn red from embarrassment. “What?” he laughs. Moving his hands to pry your hands away from your face. 

Peeking through your fingers you see his radiating smile. A soft giggle makes its way out of your mouth as you look at the adorable sparkle in his eyes. “Nothing, I just got shy” This gets him to laugh, pulling your cold hands into his warm ones on his lap. “There is nothing to be shy about, baby. It’s just me” Looking into his deep brown eyes, butterflies erupt in your belly. “That’s why,” you say. He looks at you with confusion written on his face. Your hands hold on to him just a little bit tighter. “Because it’s you Jake. You make me feel so many different things at once sometimes I refuse to believe that you’re real to me” laughing slightly. Jake still has no idea where this is coming from. 

“I love you, Jake,” you say under your breath. The look in your eyes is close to pleading. Waiting for him to say it back. He only looks into your eyes until the ride comes back to life the grip you have on his jacket only becomes tighter than before. Your knuckles are white and crescent moons are indented into your skin by your nails. The ride stops at the bottom and the worker opens the door for you once again. You stay there for a moment until you realize that you are holding up the line. Thankfully, the worker was patient and still waited for you to exit the cart. 

You can hear your heart pumping at a rapid speed in your ears. Throwing the jacket off of your shoulder you flee from the cart. Leaving Jake, by himself in utter silence. He feels frozen in his spot, not able to move. “Sir? We have other people waiting” Snapping out of his daze he collects his things and leaves, completely left in distraught.

Running, you can barely see. Your eyes clouded with tears, streaming down your face. You needed to get out of there. Tripping over a small rock you hiss out in pain. Looking down at your scraped knee you you cradle it in hopes of making it feel better. But you know it will do nothing. Nothing hurts more than how you feel right now. 

He didn’t say it back. 

He didn’t say it back 

He didn’t say it back 

Like a broken record, it repeats in your head. Jake doesn’t love you back. And there’s completely nothing that you could do about it. 

It’s been weeks since the carnival, and you haven’t heard anything from Jake since then. Not a text, not a phone call, not even a note. It’s like a never-ending cycle, just like Sunoo said. You can’t seem to find a way to escape it. Just like the last time you hide yourself away from the world. But only this time it’s worse. Your phone has been buzzing with notifications but from the person you’ve been pining for the most. Sunoo can’t help but be worried about you. 

He’s been calling every day but he can’t get a hold of you. Avoiding your phone is the best option for now. Distancing yourself from anyone who has a connection with Jake is in your best interest. You can’t risk bumping into him, just the thought of his face further hurts your aching heart. Standing up from your bed you walk over to the kitchen to eat a somewhat decent meal. You’ve been rotting away in your bed for days now, being productive for just one day would be a step forward in healing. 

“I don’t know what to do” The small cafe is close to empty, with only a few people sitting at tables scattered across the area, it’s well early into the morning for anyone to be out and about. Jake’s hands are connected to the top of the small table. One of his many friends, Sunghoon, is sitting across from him. Receiving a call from Jake he woke up bright and early to help his friend deal with what he considered ‘a major crisis’. “Well, do you love her?” The question is simple. But Jake can’t help but dwell on it for a minute too long. “I don’t know” Staring into the table as if his answer would show if he looked just a bit harder. Sunghoon sighs out of frustration, Jake has been a complete mess ever since you told him you loved him. Stuck in his own head, guilty, frustrated, regret spiraling through his body. You don’t deserve any of this. You deserve much more than what he has to offer. Malicious thoughts consumed his head. 

“I think you should talk to her, man” Sunghoon finally speaks up in the quiet space. “She deserves closure, at the very least tell her how you feel for her. You can’t leave her hanging like that, I know that it’s crushing you from the inside that you can’t talk to her,” He’s right. He knows that he’s right. He hasn’t even tried to reach out to you in the weeks passing. “I know, I just can’t bring myself to face her knowing how much I’ve hurt her” 

“Take a chance, talk to her.” After a few minutes of thinking, Jake nods his head. “I’ll see you later Hoon,” Before he could turn to leave he looks back to Sunghoon. “And thank you” Giving a tight lipped smile and a slight nod of his head he says “Anytime” The jingle of the bell on top of the door rings. Jake determined to talk to you and fix whatever he caused. 

Loud banging resounds through your dorm as you were about to curl up in your blanket. “Go away Sunoo,” you yell in hopes of ridding him from your door. “Let me in” Your heart drops when you hear that familiar accent you were used to hearing all those weeks ago. Immediately shooting from your bed you grab your sweater and slowly walk over to the door. Watching your hand reach for the doorknob as if you were put into slow motion. Turning the handle, you look through the small crack of the door. Sad eyes meet yours. 

The door now fully opened, Jake’s tall figure towers over yours. Eyes pleading you to let him in. “Hi,” comes from his mouth, the same coming from yours. “Can I please come in?” Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and slight anger. “Why? There’s no reason for us to be together, not anymore” You begin to close the door but he arm comes out to stop you. 

“Please, __. I need to talk to you” The tone in his voice is desperate. Reluctantly you agree, stepping to the side you watch him walk past you into your living room closing the door and following behind him. It’s silent for sometime, arms crossing over your chest you grow impatient. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk. If not I’d really like for you to leave-”

“I’m sorry” Finally, after what felt like an eternity he speaks up. “I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. I am so sorry I’ve hurt you in so many ways you and I’ve been nothing but shit to you” his voice breaks. A burning sensation builds up behind your eyes. Swallowing thickly he continues “You deserve nothing but love in this world and I can’t give you that. I’m messed up,” roughly pointing to his head. Tears streaming down his face. “I want to give you all the things that you deserve but I can’t do that because I don’t know how,” You flinch at his rising tone. You stand still, all you can do is listen to him. 

“I want so much for us to work, baby but I-” He holds his hands out. Pleading for you to reach out to him. Quickly, taking a step forward you pull him into your arms. Your tears fall over him as he tightens his grip on you. “Shh, it’s okay. I can help you, but I need you to let me help you” you say calmly into his ears. Your shirt dampens as he sobs. His hands clutching onto you as if you’d disappear. 

“Let me help you”

Separating from your body he looks at you. Sadness seeps from his eyes, and sniffles are the only thing heard in the small living room. “Let me love you, and when you’re ready you can do the same” Searching for anything, you hold his face and bring him down to your lips. Kissing his lips softly you pull away and lean your forehead against his. Sending him a loving look you look into his eyes, “Will you let me?” Nodding against you, you pull him in and he stuffs his face into the crook of your neck, softly kissing the skin there. 

The sun is shining out in the warm summer air. Jake wanted to take you out once more before he had to head back to Brisbane. He had been planning to spend a few weeks there during the summer. Talking about those plans bring you back when you and him were in bed, hot skin against each other. Relishing in one another “I promise I’ll take you there, one day. You can meet everyone. My parents have been dying to meet you, you know,” Smiling at him his eyes seemed to be focused on your hands playing with his. “I’d like that” you say with a small giggle. 

You wish for that day to come soon, but you will just have to wait. Right now, you want to focus on the last remaining time you have left with your boyfriend before he’s off boarding a plane and wishing him a safe flight. That’s something for you to think about in the future. But this is now, he’s brought you back to the very first date he took you on. The magnolia forest, it looks much different than how it did in the winter. They look much more lively, swaying the slight breeze mother nature is kind enough to give them. 

You both stop at the bench that brings you bittersweet memories. Sitting down, taking in the fresh air of summer, Jake watches you as if you’re some goddess sent down from heaven. Feeling his stare on you, you turn your head to catch him in the act. “What?” a smile appearing on your beautiful face. “What? I can’t stare at my girlfriend that I won’t be able to see in a few weeks? I need to take in how beautiful you are in person. I mean, I’ll only be able to see this pretty face over a screen,” he glides his hand down your cheek resting it on the nape of your neck. 

“Ugh, don’t even remind me. I’m gonna miss you so much” pouting at him. He laughs at your adorable face and leans in to place a peck on your pouting lips. “I’m gonna miss you too, baby. More than anything” You can see a sparkle glow in his eyes as he scans over you face. Leaning in once again to kiss him. But this time, the kiss is full of passion, love. Pulling back your faces inches apart, you sigh as you open your eyes again to face your lover. 

“I love you” Your breath hitches in your throat. The biggest smile grows over your features. The foreign words escape his mouth, smiling proud of himself to express his unconditional love for you. “What did you say?” you sit up from your slouched position on the bench and turn your body to completely face. “I said I love you __, so much”  Throwing your body as him you smash your lips against his. He can feel a smile grown against his lips. 

Finally, words are written on paper. This is your beginning

[norawriteswords]

CAT & MOUSE.

notes:: thank you so much for all your love on my previous post - I didn’t realize so many other people love Brian moser too🥹🥹 this fic is me trying to get back into writing, so I apologize if there’s errors or it’s written weirdly :( there should be approximately 900 words! Fem pronouns are used and i think the terms “girl” and “girlfriend” are in there a couple times. Sorry not a lot happens here but I’m hoping to do another chapter? Also, no use of y/n!!

You sighed and rubbed your eyes, feeling tiredness seep into your body. The quiet ambience of the precinct wasn’t exactly helping your drowsiness either. Distant ringing phones and low chatter faded into white noise as you struggled to stay awake.

You lazily pushed your mouse, switching tabs. You were beyond exhausted, and quite frankly sick of sitting at your desk. At the ding of the elevator you unceremoniously turned your head, expecting one of your fellow officers to return from a coffee run.

Your eyes widened at the familiar figure approaching you. You smiled softly. “Rudy? What are you doing here?” He had clearly just come from work himself, still wearing his white button up and black slacks. He looked more relaxed, shedding his lab coat and unbuttoning the first couple buttons of his shirt.

“Thought I’d see my favourite detective.” He smiled and thoughtfully tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. “And bring you some of the hard stuff.” He mumbled sarcastically, handing you a cup of coffee and a pastry.

You smiled, exhaling in amusement at his comment. “Rudy… that’s so sweet of you.. you didn’t have to.” you gushed, touched by his little gesture. He smiled, leaning on your desk. He gave you a little wave, motioning for you to eat. You were quick to break into the little pastry, having a bite.

“So, how’s the investigation going?” He asked. He looked around, taking in the precinct. You groaned. “Torturous.” You sipped your coffee, appreciating how fresh it was. “We have absolutely no leads.”

Brian feigned a frown. “Really? You don’t have a shred of evidence?” He asked. He was fishing. You shook your head. “Well… I mean we had something. But it didn’t work out. We got a partial print on a lozenge wrapper- but it’s not in the system.”

Brian’s entire body froze. He blinked. “A lozenge wrapper?” He repeated. You nodded, breaking off another piece of the flaky pastry. “Yeah. I guess our guy is really into lozenges or something because Tucci told us while he was captive he would constantly hear that kinda..” you paused, thinking of how to verbalize it best. “That crinkly wrapper sound. You know?”

Brian nodded. “Yeah. So?” You paused to chew your pastry. Brian was about to lose his mind. “So, we went back to the crime scene, and I found a lozenge wrapper. But like I said, no usable prints.” You grumbled.

Brian’s heart rate steadied again. “Well, that sucks doll. Sorry.” He said affectionately, looking down at you. You smiled, basking in his affection. “It is what it is. I know we’ll nail him one way or another.” Your hopefulness brought a smile to his face. “Atta girl.” So naive.

You were supposed to be his eyes and ears in the Miami Metro PD, you were supposed to be an object to him. But how could you be an object? You with your smiles and love. God it was sickening how he fell for you. He desperately tried to detach. To use you for your purpose. He lured you into giving him the occasional insight, a little hint, some words spilled over drinks, some stolen peeks at your notebook, but nothing substantial. He was attached to you. He refused to call it love, but rather fondness. Affection. Regardless it was something he didn’t want to feel.

He sighed, wanting to find as many clues about the case as he could, while still trying to seem like an attentive boyfriend. “Any dinner plans?” He asked, looking at a whiteboard beside your desk. Photos of suspects, locations, bodies. He felt a pang of pride.

“No. Did you wanna get something?” You peered up at him, hoping he’d say yes. He smiled, and your heart fluttered a little. “It’s almost one in the morning doll. I don’t think much is open.” You glanced at your watch in disbelief. “Jesus Christ.” You muttered.

He gently tilted your head up to look at him. “You should swing by my place. I’ll cook you something.” He offered. You couldn’t help your smitten expression. “Oh yeah? Like… steaks? And fries?” You smirked, trying to fish for a yes. He smiled, stroking your cheek a little. “Yeah. Steaks and fries.”

“Perfect.” You stood up, pressing a kiss to his lips, standing on your tiptoes. His hands immediately found their spot on your waist as you kissed him. “Give me ten minutes to wrap some stuff up. Wait here.” You ordered. He smiles and held his hands up. “Yes detective.”

As you happily walked away to go freshen up and return some files Brian saw his chance. He glanced around the mostly empty precinct before sitting in your desk chair. He clicked around a little, trying to find any trace of that lozenge wrapper.

He opened up a file, containing a digital copy of the partial print and possible matches. He ran the cursor along the list, deleting every potential match. He shut the tab, immediately switching to another one. He didn’t want you to find out his secret. Not like this. No. He wanted you to earn it. You were a clever girl, and one of his mistakes was no way to catch him.

He stood up and tucked in your chair, shifting his weight. You walked back, holding your coat. “Ready?”You asked. He smiled and nodded, his hand on your lower back as he walked you to the elevator. “Ready.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the side of your head.

You’d find out in due time. He’d made sure. And he was certain you’d get a nice little promotion too. He was helping you! Your career. And moving his plan along too. He liked your little game of unsuspecting cat and mouse.

[cinnaminsvga]

Harana Preview | Jungkook

harana (n.): the act of wooing someone by serenading them

→ summary:

Unwilling to settle down with you after five years of dating, Jeon Jungkook decides to break up to chase after his dreams. In the aftermath, you leave your hometown, desperate to forget your past and relearn what it means to be on your own. Two years later while on your way to work, you pass by a familiar voice singing songs about a girl he had left behind.

{or alternatively: Jungkook still sings the love songs that he wrote for you. He still means them, too.}

→ genre: busker!au, exes to lovers, fluff, angst → warnings: jimin is insane and kinda crude (he has some issues going on), jungkook is a pathetic wet bunny but he's trying his best, so much yearning, ambiguous ending??? but my god there is hope!! the humanity of it all!! → words: anticipated 10-15K → a/n: what da hell who is she... HEY SO its been a while since ive written anything longer than 2k words and i really wanted to get back into writing, if only for practice... plus this is part of my heart full of hugot series that i teased literally eons ago and i want to finish it before the year ends... pray for my sanity ( ; ω ; )

part of the “heart full of hugot” series

As you struggle to pull yourself together, a familiarly loud voice rings outside the edge of your consciousness. “Hey, Y/N! Fancy seeing you here…” Jimin greets you, his usual jovial demeanor halting midway when he sees your panicked expression. He clears his throat, perplexed. “Umm… Are you alright there, girl? You’re looking a little pale.”

You do not even have the mental capacity to wonder why Park Jimin was miraculously early to his shift, nor why he seems genuinely worried for you. Rather, all you can do is wave him off and use what little time you have before the restaurant opens to steel yourself for hours of melodious torture. 

“I’m fine, Park. You should get to work,” you grit out, wiping your sweaty palms on your uniform. Normally, Jimin would have teased you about the obvious wrinkles on your skirt. 

“You’re not the boss of me,” Jimin huffs, always the contrarian. He thinks better of it, however, and softens his tone. “Are you feeling sick or something? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

You freeze, perhaps giving yourself away a little. “I’m fine,” you repeat. 

“You know, if you refuse to elaborate, I’m going to have to retract your shower privileges,” Jimin taunts with a smirk. 

You feel a migraine growing by your temple, making you wince. God, why must men be the source of all your problems?

“I’m just… a little annoyed by the busker outside the restaurant,” you eventually admit, trying to be vague. Unfortunately for you, Jimin hates beating around the bush and would never take your crap if he knows something is up.

Unable to withstand the weight of his unimpressed stare, you continue, “He was someone I used to know, that’s all.” You aren’t going to be any more specific than that, though you imagine Jimin gets the picture. You zip your lips, hoping to whoever is causing you pain that Jimin would somehow let the matter drop and leave you to your misery.

You brace yourself for his onslaught of questioning to come, and… it doesn’t happen. Instead, when you glance at Jimin, he is mysteriously stone faced. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a few minutes, but he doesn’t show any signs of wanting to tease or ridicule you. He simply watches you with a pensive expression. You can barely stop yourself from staring back at him, slack-jawed at his silence. 

Of course, you aren’t just going to question your luck, or what little you have at least. So, you stay silent back and purse your lips uncomfortably.

Finally, Jimin seems to snap out of his strange reverie. He fixes you with a bizarrely sympathetic grin, patting you affectionately on the back. “I see… Well, if you ever need a drink tonight, head over to the bar for a little sip. I got you covered,” is all he says in response before sashaying away. 

That was so fucking weird. You want to chase after him, perhaps beat the truth out of him. Jimin is nothing but a scheming dick, and you aren’t about to let him roam free with such sensitive information about yourself. Just as you’re about to stomp his ass (perhaps to relieve some of the building tension from your weary soul), your manager pops his head from his office door. 

“Y/N! Make sure you’re logged into the booking system. There’s going to be a party of 20 coming in about an hour,” he reminds you, shooting you an apologetic look. You nod back with a sigh, swiping the booking tablet from the hostess desk and scrolling through the logs. Sure enough, it is going to be a busy night despite being a Monday evening. Perhaps a little busier than usual, in fact.

Whatever. You will use whatever distraction you can get, and perhaps the approaching noise from the restaurant patrons will be enough to drown out the sound of his voice. 

You aren’t religious by any means, but you pray to whatever higher power exists that Jeon Jungkook doesn’t somehow decide to enter the restaurant. Stay outside, you plead. Outside the restaurant and your life, if possible.

Throughout the evening, you do your best to push aside the memories that threaten to resurface. You greet customers with a smile, lead them to their tables, and ensure their dining experience is pleasant despite the anxiety poisoning your insides. It's a routine you've perfected over time, a shield against the chaos of your emotions.

As the night wears on, you can feel Jimin's eyes on you from across the restaurant. You sneak glances back at him, and you blanch at his pitying gaze. If the restaurant had been slightly less crowded, you would have flipped him off. 

He’s probably enjoying my suffering, you think darkly. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you straighten up and do your best to appear more unaffected. Just as you do so, you can hear Jungkook perfectly hitting a soulful high note. 

“I’m so sorry for thinking I was strong,” you whisper to the universe. “Forgive me for my insolence.” You clench your fist in anguish, ignoring the confused looks from the customers in front of you. 

By the time your shift comes to a close, you are completely and utterly drained. You feel like a snail that has been continuously salted over the past eight hours, and you cannot help but cheer in relief when the clock finally strikes two in the morning. You have to wait for the last few diners to make their leave, but otherwise you are ready to let your bed swallow you whole. 

You stand by your hostess desk, leaning your head against it with a defeated sigh. Jungkook’s voice had died down only a few minutes ago, and you hope that by this point he has mercifully left the premises. You want to take a peek to make sure, but just as you’re about to make your way to the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder stop you in your tracks.

“‘Sup, bitch.” Jimin still has that weird, pitying gaze pointed at you, though his words don’t match it. “Are you okay to go home alone tonight? I can bring your dumb ass home if you want.”

You shove his hand away, ready to bite his head off when you think better of it. If Jimin drives you home, then that lowers the chances of seeing Jungkook down to pretty much zero. 

“You know what? Thanks,” you grouse. Jimin smiles at you winningly, and the image of it brings a shiver down your spine. You hit him, creeped out. “Hey. Stop that, will you? You’re being really weird?”

Jimin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Me? Weird? At least I don’t look like a damn firework ready to explode just because my cringelord ex-boyfriend is singing sappy love songs outside—”

“Shut the fuck up,” you seethe, stomping on his foot. He yelps in pain and slaps your shoulder in retaliation. 

“Ouch! Watch your ogre feet! My shoes are worth twice your monthly rent I’ll have you know,” he bristles. He breathes deeply, likely finding his inner calm (which you doubt exists). “But because I’m so nice, I’ll ignore your earlier transgression and blame it on your underdeveloped amygdala.”

You don’t know what’s more surprising: the fact that Jimin knew what an amygdala was or that he was forgiving you in the first place. “Whatever. Let’s finish closing up and then head out. I’m exhausted.”

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚-𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏

hello, my babies! I am so so so sorry for disappearing and for not writing! I keep running into writer's block, especially regarding my requests, as there's an overload of smut in there, and there are only so many times you can write smut, haha. I hope you like what I've written, all thanks to sebastian stan for looking so fine and @lovebittenbyevans for putting the idea of cop sebastian in my mind! I am open to turning this into a small series, kinda like what @navybrat817 does with their fics. inspired by this photo

summary - there's a fundraising event in your small town, and you happen to run into the hottest officer in town.

warning - the word cunt is used, and thoughts of feeling something's hand against their private parts.

the gif and header I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

It was a hot day as you walked toward the fundraising function held at the local park. Your cherry-printed sundress flowed perfectly in the breeze, and your pink glossy plumped lips spread into a soft smile as you passed by your friendly neighbours. You approach your friend's coffee stand, thanking her graciously, as she instantly hands you the cold drink. Your lips immediately wrap around the straw, drinking the liquidity goodness into your mouth.

“Sooo, baby. Did you see Sebastian?!” Your friend whisper-yells, staring at you with wide eyes as though she has some secrets to spill. You shake your head, not knowing that he is here. “Oh my god! You need to see him! If you thought he was hot in his uniform, you’re going to be on the ground when you see his outfit!” 

You giggle, shaking your head at your friend’s excitement. “You and every other woman in town are obsessed.” You look through her assortment of snacks she has set out, not wanting to look around for the man you guys are talking about. “How much do you want for the coffee?” You reach into your small pink bag, ready to take out your purse.

“Nothing, it was already paid for before you arrived.” You look at her with furrowed brows, and she smirks at you in response. 

“I have a feeling you won’t tell me who.” You squint at her. “Unbelievable.” You shake your head, “Alright, well. I’m going to go look around for a bit.” You lean over and give her a hug before setting off and beginning to look around at the stalls everyone has set up. You hear laughter, and your eyes follow the sound. There stands the police force, all chatting and having a good time. Your breath hitches as your eyes land on Sebastian, one of the hottest officers in your small town. He stands, glistening into the sun with a tan, his body somehow sparkling. Your eyes move down, gulping as you notice his white wife-beater hugging his figure perfectly, how bulky and oversized his biceps look in it. Your gaze moves down, feeling drool in your mouth as you notice his nicely fit slacks. A whimper nearly falls from your lips. The thing that really ties the whole look together is his little man bun. 

You hear a cheer, followed by your name being called, and your eyes move around the group until you land on Anthony, his hands waving around, causing the other men to look over, and you give a soft smile. “Y/n! Come over, baby!” You walk over, chuckling as his arms wrap around you and bring you into a hug. “We’ve been looking for you! Well, actually… Ow!” You look up in time to see a can bouncing off Anthony’s head, and he glares at someone. “What the hell, man?! That’s littering!”

You turn your head, feeling your heart pound as your eyes connect with pretty blues. Sebastian smirks, giving you a nod. “Sorry, Bud. Couldn’t have you running your mouth, especially in front of this gorgeous woman.” He winks, and you feel your cheeks heat up. He spreads his arms, raising a brow. “Where’s my hug, Princess?” You slowly move from Anthony’s hold and into Sebastian’s. Your arms wrap around him, and you sink into him. Your eyes flutter closed, feeling your head become fuzzy as you take in his delicious scent. How could he smell and feel so nice? He should be illegal. “I see you received the coffee.” Sebastian pulls back and gives you a smirk, his eyes flicker down to your plump lips, and his tongue flicks out as he imagines what your gloss would taste like against his lips. 

“You’re the one who bought this for me?!” You look at him, shocked but not surprised. Sebastian had always managed to pay for your things before you even arrived. He nods before directing his attention to the group, spinning you so your back is against his front and his arms wrap around your waist. Your body heats up, feeling your cunt throb from his actions. “Thank you…” You let out quietly, softly smiling as he leans down and kisses the top of your head in response.

“Damn! You’re wasted being a cop, Stan!” Anthony chuckles, sipping his coffee as he stands with his hand in his pocket. 

Sebastian huffs, “And why is that, Mackie?” Anthony smirks, looking between you and Sebastian.

“Because you’re killing all the ladies!” You burst out into a fit of giggles, “So, you would’ve made a great criminal.” Anthony’s brows wiggle, “Sebastian Stan! Killer of Women! He’s the killer that gets away!” His voice booms, and the other officers laugh. 

“Hmm, I could get on that. But there’s only one lady that I’d love to kill with my charm.” Sebastian smirks, looking down at you without you noticing. He pulls you flush against his body, enjoying the shivers that run through you. You felt nice in his arms. Your gaze followed his tanned arms and landed on his large, veiny hands, accessorised with rings. Ones that make you wonder what they would feel like against your most sensitive part. You enjoy being this close to him. You could feel the jealous daggers from the women around you, but you didn’t care about them. You were in Officer Stan’s arms, the hottest guy in town.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P3 | catch me outside, how bout that!?

Your eyes met Mark's for a split second before he broke eye contact. Mark and you go way back, but shit happened and…and you remember him telling you that you were dead to him. As the queue shortened, one of Mark's friends practically bounced up and down when she got to the counter. Mark lingered behind his friend group, doing his obvious best to ignore your presence and make it seem like you were never really there in front of him.

“Oh my god, AERI! I've always wanted to meet you! I'm Ningning, and I'm from the MPA Faculty.”

“I'm honored! God, you're really pretty—and you're talented too. Wanna take a pic of just the both of us? The rest of you guys can have y/n take your orders first.” Aeri was practically gushing. She always had a soft spot for attractive people.

You watched as she and the girl go over to the back for a quick photo session.

You waved at the rest of the group, albeit a little awkwardly since Mark was a part of them. You picked up a cup and a sharpie, indicating you were ready to take their orders. The pretty girl with short brown hair ordered first.

“I'll have a hot latte with oat milk.”

“Iced americano with less sugar, please. Thank you. ”

“I’ll have a hot mocha with regular milk. You're really cute. Can you also throw in your number?” The guy got two blows at the back of his head while Mark sighed deeply at his annoying ass friend. You grinned awkwardly, trying to act like his friend didn't just hit on you.

Then your eyes met Mark's again.

“Uh, can I get…” When it was Mark's turn to order, his head kinda blanked, and all of his friend group—and you—were looking at him right now. Putting him on the spot.

Shit.

“We actually have tea here. Do you still take it the way you did back in high school?” You asked carefully, knowing that speaking to him so casually would tick him off but he was holding up the line, and his friend that took a picture with Aeri had already returned.

“...yeah. I'll just have that then.”

Mark could see Haechan's eyebrows shot up, while Winter and Chenle just side-eyed him. Mark usually thanks his servers—always. They waited for the thanks to come out, but it never did—and he's even looking to the ground instead of facing you, jaw taut and fists closed. He looked genuinely pissed, for some inconceivable reason. All of his friends looked between you and him, bewildered.

What was his beef with you?

“Okayyyy, whatever that was…Um, can I have a hot latte with regular milk? And if Aeri can also make the latte art for it…” Ningning giggled, glancing at Aeri shyly from under her lashes.

“Sure thing! But no promises though, I kinda suck at it.” Aeri grinned and wrote down Ningning’s name on the cup.

That kinda brought down the tension between you and Mark, thankfully. You let out a deep sigh as you worked on their orders, going to the station and working beside Yangyang. He eyed you up and down before stealing a glance at Mark. You felt his lips near your ears as he whispered.

“Was the breakup that messy? Did you cheat on him with his worst enemy or something?”

You rolled your eyes to the side at his question.

“He’s not my ex, you nosy shit. Get back to work.”

Considering all of you were getting the hang of it, it didn't take up to 10 minutes to finish their orders. You gave them their drinks one by one as Yangs cleaned the station. You were about to hand off Mark's iced sweet tea when Yangyang stumbled and hit you from behind, causing the drink to splash against Mark's jacket. You gasped at the accident.

“Oh, no.” Yangyang muttered from behind you—but suspiciously, he didn't sound too remorseful.

Chenle was glaring daggers at the captain of NCU’s soccer team. Mark was brushing away the cold tea off of his jacket with a frustrated sigh.

“Damn it, this jacket can only be dry-cleaned.” Mark hissed, regretting buying a high maintenance jacket as a broke student.

“Oh my god, we're so sorry. We'll refund you and take it to the dry cleaners ourselves. We'll pay for it too.” Aeri bowed apprehensively.

Mark looked like he was about to reject the offer, but Chenle gripped his shoulder and started to take the jacket off of him.

“Just go with it, Mark. It's the least they can do for you.” Chenle huffed out, glaring at Yangyang who continued to clean their work station with a small smirk on his face.

You seriously wanted to recreate The Simpsons scene of Homer choking Bart right fucking now. You're Homer Simpson and Yangyang is Bart.

Chenle shoved the jacket into your hands and the rest of his group left, with Ningning looking a little upset that her moment with Aeri now ruined. You tilted your face up to the sky and sighed deeply, thanking god that the coffee was about to sell out anyway, even if you did plan to bring the leftovers home. Then you dropped your head to look at the tea scented jacket you were holding.

Fucking Yangyang.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : why is this story kinda gaining traction *twirls hair*...omg do you guys like me or something ahhhhhh that's so embarrassing hihihihihih

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [OPEN]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @mystverse @bee-the-loser

[mrslankyman]

New Years Kiss

Mike Schmidt x (fem) reader

->1.1k words

Music blared through the house. Your friend had decided to throw a party. You honestly didn’t care to be there.

New years around all these people didn’t feel like a good start to your 2000 journey. Why did it have to be so crowded.

You barely knew anyone at the party. Maybe the alcohol was the reason for everyone getting along. It loosened you up. Made you feel like you belonged. Perhaps you should drink. Maybe it help you.

You walked down the small hallway to the kitchen. Passing an open doored room. Honestly you wish you didn’t see the make out sesh going on inside. It simply reminded you of how lonely you were.

Going into the new years yet again without anyone. No amount of grapes eaten under the table or red underwear you buy would secure you a man for the next year.

If only life was that easy.

Mike thought the same. Minus the red underwear. He didn’t really know how to spend new years. Till he got invited to this party. Now he stood in the corner of the kitchen. Watching others talk, kiss, and run off to random rooms to do god knows what.

He felt so alone. He didn’t drink he had to drive home. Abby was off at their grandmas for the night. She always wanted to spend new years with her and Mike. This year Mike opped out of going. He wanted to give this party a try.

He regretted it greatly.

No girl came up to him like these other guys. No girl waved or gave him the eye. He saw so many movies of the girls just coming up and kissing the boy she wanted.

He wouldn’t have that luck. He wouldn’t wanna admit it to anyone but a new years kiss was one of his biggest wishes.

To have someone to hold on new years. Know you’d be with them once the clock hit 12. Secure it with a kiss. Like a fairy tale. It felt like a dream.

Which it was. As Mike knew he was not really desirable. A 25 year old man raising his sister and struggling to make ends meet. Who’d wanna be around that?

You walked into the kitchen. Looking up at the man who stood in the corner. He held a can of Pepsi. Not beer. Which was shocking. You also didn’t drink tonight.

You simply walked up to the small plate of appetizers. Grabbing some grapes. The man chuckled a little.

“Gonna sit under the table and eat them?” His voice sounded teasing but as you looked up his eyes didn’t display the same emotion. He looked tired, worn out but.. some what attractive.

Your face flushed as he had caught on to what you were gonna do. “Yeah. It’s stupid but.. I kinda want to find someone next year.” You looked down at the grapes. 12 in your hand. It had to work.. didn’t it?

He walked closer to you and grabbed 12 him self. “Okay, I’ll give it a try too. I’m wanting to find someone as well. This years been too lonely. Besides 2000 doesn’t sound like a bad year.” He looked at you. you smiled and nodded. He was about the same height as you. Which was cute. Not too tall.. but not terribly short.

“It’s only 11 we can talk under the table if you want.” He nodded towards the kitchen table. You nodded in agreement and headed over to the kitchen table. You both crawled under.

Mike pulled the chairs to cover you two under the table. It sorta felt like just you two were at the house. Besides the music and the sound of people talking.

“I’m Mike by the way.” His eyes flicked up to you. Displaying some new emotion. He seemed intrigued to know you.

“I’m Y/N..” You smiled and looked down at your grapes. “Rough year too?” You asked him not looking up.

“Yeah. Pretty rough. I hope this one’s better. Raising my sister is tough. I’ve never had kids. So.. I’m just praying I’m doing it right.” He sighed and looked down.

Your heart ached. This man seemed so sweet. At least from what he gave off. He seemed like he was caring. Even if his eyes looked dead and tired.

“I’m sure you’ll have a good year. It’s nice you’re there for your sister. I’m sure she appreciates it.” You nudge him gently. Wanting to lighten the mood a little. He chuckled as he looked at the ground shrugging his shoulders.

“I hope she does..” his voice dropped again. You frowned and looked over at him. His shoulders slumped, eyes down and lips in a thin line. He didn’t even seem excited for the new years.

But were you even excited? Every year came with the hopes of something new with the ending of nothing.

You both sat in silence for a few minutes. Though you just met him something pulled you to him. He could say the same for you. Despite coming off as not excited. He quite liked your company. He stared at the floor.

Not because he was awkward , or didn’t wanna talk, but because he wanted to make the perfect conversation. He combed over every possibility. He wanted to talk to you.

You were the first girl at the party to even pay him any attention. For the most part you were the only girl to give him this much attention.

So once he picked the topic it was just a long conversation. He talked about his sister, you talked about your work, he talked about his Aunt Jane and how he disliked her, you talked about how you wished for something great in life.

in a short time you two got to know each. All before the clock hit 11:59.

You learned that Mike longed for a new years kiss once. You told him how you longed for someone to go into the new years with.

And once that clock hit 11:59 you went to the grapes.

You both smiled and popped the grapes in your mouths. Trying to get all 11 in before 12.

Once the clock hit 12 and everyone else shouted happy new years. You and Mike got to your last grape. You stared at him happily. You had done it. You ate all 12 grapes before 12:01.

“We did i-“ Mike was cut off by you leaning in. Pressing a kiss to his lips. He tasted like the grapes. With a mix of Pepsi. He quickly kissed back. His body felt a surge of electric. He didn’t suspect this.

He didn’t realize how tentivly you listened to him as he spoke of his wish. He pulled you closer. Deepening the kiss. Maybe he just met you. Maybe you just met him.

But you had a whole year to get to know each other now.

Maybe the grapes did work.

[trueangel420]

kit walker, “I said it really nicely, so can you be my savior?” kinda outta luck - ldr ౨ৎ part 2 of this wc 1038 (it’s so short)

You stood at the payphone, fingers curled around the wire as you leaned back against the glass booth. Your mother’s voice boomed through the static: “You’ve been riding around the South with that man? Baby, you haven’t stolen his car yet.” She wasn’t one to judge; she knew how impulsive you could be. After a few hours of traveling with Kit, she was worried about her little troublemaker.

“Ma!” you whispered into the phone, glancing back at the gas station. “I’m not stealin’ his car. I tried already,” you mumbled, embarrassment washing over you again.

“We’ve been driving around all night, Ma. I’m trying to behave,” you said, hearing her sigh through the phone. She was always supportive, no matter what. “Go into that gas station and get something. You don’t have to hurt that good man. He’s helping you out of the kindness of his heart, Bunny.” That was true. You needed some clothes and refreshments, and you didn’t plan on paying for them. You hung up the phone and stepped out of the glass booth, walking past Kit as he filled up his tank.

“Need me to come in with you, doll?” He called out, making you pause. God, he was polite—probably the nicest man you’d ever met.

“No need, just grabbing a few things,” you replied, eyeing his clothes. Unlike you, he had extra clothes in his car and had changed into jeans and a tank top—something simple to beat the heat. His outfit was clean, showing off the outline of his body perfectly. He reached for his wallet, waving it.

“Here,” he offered.

You shook your head, forcing a smile. “No, I got it,” you insisted, even though you had nothing but the lint in your pockets. Kit watched you with those kind eyes as you turned and headed into the gas station, the bell above the door chiming softly as you entered.

The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting a harsh glow over the rows of snacks and drinks. You grabbed a basket and started tossing in essentials—water, gas station sandwiches, and a six-pack of Coke. Making your way to the back, where the clothes were, you spotted an American flag bikini and a pair of shorts. A beach bag caught your eye—one big enough to fit everything. You decided to stuff all your items in there.

Glancing back, you noticed the old clerk wasn't paying any attention. Perfect. You looked outside and saw Kit waiting in the car, his hands tapping on the wheel. “Getaway driver,” you mumbled to yourself, laughing. That's what he's going to be when you're done.

You made your way to the cashier, holding the bag like it was yours and flashing him a sweet smile. “Do you happen to have any cigarettes?” you asked, trying to distract him. The man shook his head and looked behind him. "I don't suppose I do, little lady. We have... well," he started to search more thoroughly, and you slipped a chocolate bar off the counter into your bag.

“Well, I'll be on my way if you don't. Have a good day, mister!” you said, leaving—your pace casual, though you didn't want him to notice his loot slung over your arm.

You sat in the passenger seat, and Kit watched you closely before clearing his throat. “I feel bad for having you pay for it, doll. Can I make it up to you?” Though it had only been a few hours, Kit was already incredibly sweet on you.

You bit your lip, glancing over at him. He offered, and he’s been so kind—he doesn’t even know you. “I don’t even know where you're going. I don’t want this to be our last stop,” he confessed voice lower than usual, his eyes focused on you. “Do you want to keep going with me? Don’t you have people back home?”

He shook his head. “They don’t matter, not after I met you.”

“You don’t know me from a can of paint, Kit—” He shook his head again and started the engine, his hands tapping the wheel. “Don’t need to know you, sugar. Didn’t you hear me say that?”

“I’m bad news,” you blurted out, looking at him. His face twisted in confusion as he rubbed his jaw, keeping one hand on the wheel. He finally settled on his words.

“Don’t care.”

“Why?” you whispered, gawking at him like he was insane. He’d only met you hours ago and now he wanted to stay on the route you were going. A wild girl like you—you didn’t even have a plan, just to get as far away from that gun and that truck as you could. He turned on the radio, keeping the volume low as "My Girl" played.

“I got sunshine on a cloudy day,” he sang along, ignoring you. “I guess you say what can make me feel this way,” he glanced at you, “my girl.”

“Come on, Kit, stop—” you tried to keep a straight face, your lips pressed into a line.

“Why? Because you’re different, that’s why. You got somethin’ in you. I can see it now—you and me traveling together for a long time,” he said fondly, his cheeks slightly pink as he continued to drive. The road was quiet, and the sun started to set. You needed to make a decision about him. You needed to be truthful—you needed to be careful.

“Kit…” you started, turning towards him as you spoke. He glanced at you before staring at the road again. “I’ve hurt people. I’m a—” You recalled all the things you did; this wasn’t your first time stealing and hurting people close to you. Trouble followed you insatiably.

“I don’t need money, fortune, or fame,” he hummed to the song. “I guess you say what can make me feel this way, my girl,” he looked at you again, smiling.

“Kit, I’ve ki—”

“Don’t tell me,” your eyes widened at his words. What? Don’t tell him? What was his problem.. why did he trust you so much—why did he like you so much?

“D-don’t tell you?”

“Don’t tell me, sugar.” You nibbled your bottom lip, realizing he was serious about this, about being here with you. “Turn left here—it’s a motel,” you murmured, watching him nod and make the turn.